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nerdzzone · 1 year

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Eyes Open Wide

Summary: After spending their lives as ‘just friends’, Chris and Madeline decide they want to be more.

Part of the Back To You series

Note: I think this is probably one of my favourite chapters so please let me know what you think about it!

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March 2011

To say that Chris was confused would be an understatement.

He tried to focus on the rhythm of his footsteps and the sound of his feet hitting the sidewalk beneath them, but nothing could pull his attention away from the thoughts bouncing around his mind. He knew he didn’t have long - the show ended almost fifteen minutes ago and he’d promised to meet her in the lobby not long after - but the theatre had felt suffocating and he needed some fresh air if he had any hope of making sense of his thoughts.

He was in love with Madeline.

The realization had hit him as he watched her float across the stage earlier that evening. It was her first performance as one of the American Ballet Theatre’s principal dancers and he’d been bursting with pride from the moment he walked into the theatre before the show. When she came out on stage and he felt his heart swell at the sight of her, he’d thought maybe it was just that - adoration and admiration that she’d achieved what she’d been working so hard for - but when the feeling seemed to grow and the endearment he felt seemed almost overwhelming, he couldn’t shake the idea that it was more than he first thought.

At the start of that year he’d decided to take his personal life more seriously. He didn’t want any more messy flings or casual relationships, he wanted to find someone that he could share his life with and start a family with. That decision had made most of his romantic endeavours pretty unsatisyfing so - if he was being honest - his first thought was that he was just a little too sexually frustrated. Madeline was beautiful and the years of intensive dance training had left her with a very toned and tight body and even though there’d never been anything but friendship between them he was still a man and would’ve had to be blind to not notice how attractive she was. He assumed that the way she stretched and pliéd across the stage in her skin tight leotard was just too much for him in his pent up state, but by the time they reached the intermission and he had a quiet moment to catch his breath, he realized that what he was feeling was deeper than just an attraction.

He was in love.

It made perfect sense and as the idea began to take root in his mind it seemed so obvious, but he couldn’t figure out why something that had been so clearly in front of him for most of his life could be so blindsiding.

They’d always had a connection. They seemed to understand each other in a way that no one else did and he found that time with her always kept him centered. He favoured her opinion above almost anyone else’s and he knew that he’d always been a little too protective of her as the thought of anyone causing her any kind of pain got under his skin in a way that few other things could. He’d always told himself that it was just brotherly affection, but now that the thought of it being more had slipped by whatever defense mechanism his brain had created to protect the status quo of their relationship, it was undeniable.

There was nothing brotherly about the way he wanted her or the visions that were playing through his mind like a torturous slideshow. Visions of her curled up on the couch pressed against his side. Or of his arm resting around her waist, letting everyone know that she was his. Or of her stretched out in his bed, tangled up in his sheets. His imagination was running wild and he was grateful for a distraction when he reached the florist that he’d spotted on his way to the theatre earlier that day.

The feel of the door’s cool glass window under his hand as he pushed it open helped snap him out of his thoughts as he focused on the current task he faced. Putting his feelings aside, she’d nailed her performance. He knew that she could be her own harshest critic and he knew that she’d put a lot of pressure on herself as it had been her first performance in such a leading role, but even though he’d had the distraction of wrestling with his feelings, Chris knew without a doubt that she’d performed flawlessly. Flowers seemed a little overdone and far less than she deserved, but Chris made sure to pick out the best bunch of roses he could find before a quick glance at his watch had him practically running back to the theatre.

Hey! Where are you? I hope you didn’t leave without saying goodbye!

The text came in from Madeline just as he was opening the door to the lobby, but he heard her calling out for him before he had the time to answer. He turned towards her voice and felt his heartbeat stutter as he caught sight of her standing with her parents, her tights and leotard changed for a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt despite the stage make-up that still graced her features.

“I guess you guys beat me to the flowers,” Chris observed as he walked over to their group, gesturing at the bouquet already in her arms. “But you were so good, I had to get you something.”

Any progress he’d made with gathering his thoughts was shattered as soon as she’d flashed him a smile as the pure joy on her face almost knocked the breath right out of him. He stood stunned as she handed the flowers that she was already holding over to her mother and threw herself into his arms. The feel of her wrapping herself around his waist and the familiar smell of her favourite hairspray pulled him back into the moment as she spoke.

“Thank you,” she murmured against his chest, lingering in his embrace for a moment longer than he would have expected, but not nearly as long as he would have liked before she stepped away and took the gift from his hand. “Did you like the show?”

“I loved it! You were amazing!”

“You really thought so? I was so nervous, I was worried the audience would be able to see how bad my legs were shaking.”

“Nah, you looked like a total pro.”

He could see her practically melt with relief at his assurance, but as she threw a barrage of other questions at him about what he thought of various moments of the show, Chris came to another realization.

It wasn’t the time to share his feelings.

When he’d first accepted how he felt, he’d had a desperate urgency to tell her. He needed to know if she felt the same and the thought of how much time they’d wasted if she did filled him with panic. He didn’t want to waste another minute, but as he stood in front of her and soaked up her bubbling excitement, he knew it wasn’t the right time for the conversation he wanted to have.

That night was about her and her accomplishments and he didn’t want to steal even a spec of her well-earned spotlight.

There was also the chance that his confession wouldn’t be very well received and he didn’t want anything to put a damper on the triumph she was feeling or the gleeful smile on her face. So, he shelved his racing thoughts for the time being and answered all her questions - doing his best to convey just how incredible her performance had been - until a happy sigh fell from her lips.

“I’m really proud of myself…”

The words were soft - almost like she was afraid to admit it - and Chris rushed to agree.

“You should be,” he insisted as her parents echoed his sentiment. “You deserve this and we’re all really proud of you.”

“Thank you, Chris.”

Her eyes grew glassy as she spoke and as she looked up at him from under her dark, painted lashes the words ‘I love you’ were on the tip of his tongue as the feeling welled up inside him the same way that it had when he was watching her on stage. He had to practically bite his lip to stop the confession from slipping out and he was grateful when her dad’s voice pulled Madeline’s gaze away.

“What are your plans tonight, Chris?” Greg chimed in. “We’re going to get some food if you’d like to join us?”

It was a tempting offer, but while Chris was eager to spend as much time with Madeline as possible, he worried that he wouldn't be able to keep his newfound feelings under wraps if he lingered too much longer.

“I wish I could, but I’ve gotta leave early in the morning so I should probably have an early night.” It wasn’t entirely a lie, but even though he did have a flight to catch he knew that sleep wouldn't be coming easily with all the thoughts bouncing around in his head. However, he turned his attention back to Madeline as he thought about when he would next be able to see her. “We start filming The Avengers in about a month. If I’m back in town in a few weeks, could we hang out before then?”

The question caught Madeline off guard as she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

“Of course,” she assured him, her tone making the words sound more like she’d intended to say ‘duh’ than the polite words she’d chosen. “I’ll probably have rehearsals or training, but I’ll be here.”

“Great,” Chris smiled, pulling her into another hug. “Congratulations, Maddie. I’ll see you soon.”

He felt Madeline’s arm that wasn’t holding her flowers slide back around his waist and squeeze him tight. It took more strength than he was proud to admit, but he eventually managed to pull himself away from her and say goodnight to their little group before dragging himself towards the door, feeling like he was leaving his heart right there in Madeline’s hands.

April 2011

Something was wrong with Chris.

Madeline didn’t know what it was, but there was something strange about how he was behaving.

Even with their busy schedules, they usually checked in every couple days. It wasn’t always a full conversation, but they would regularly exchange texts even if it was just mundane things or silly comments about their day. However, since Chris had left New York Madeline had barely heard from him. He always answered her messages eventually, but sometimes it took him several days and he hardly ever initiated a conversation.

She knew it was weak evidence which was why she hadn’t brought her concerns to anyone else, but she had a feeling in the pit of her stomach that something was bothering him - something that he didn’t want to talk about - and his behaviour when he arrived at her apartment once he returned to New York did nothing to ease her worries.

“Hi,” she smiled, opening the door. “You’re early.”

“Yeah,” he nodded as he dropped his bag by the door and strode into the living room. “I was gonna check in to my hotel, but I wanted to come here first.”

The nervous energy radiating off of him had Madeline on high alert and the way he began pacing around her living room only added to her tension.

“Is everything okay?”

Her question caught Chris’ attention, but didn’t stop his movement and she snuck past him to sit on the edge of her couch.

“Yeah, I think so,” he nodded when he finally paused and shoved his hands in his pockets as if he was trying to make himself as small as possible. “Well, I hope so. I mean, everything’s fine right now, but I hope it stays that way.”

His anxiety was obvious and had Madeline’s stomach in knots as she hoped that she would be able to offer him some kind of comfort once he finally got whatever was clearly bothering him off his chest.

“You’re making me a little nervous, Chris,” she informed him gently, not wanting her concern to add to his stress levels. “Do you wanna tell me what’s going on?”

His only acknowledgement of her question was a firm nod before he returned to his task of wearing a hole in her floor with his pacing. Knowing that it was often better to give him the space to gather his thoughts than to hound him for answers, Madeline simply watched patiently for a few moments until he paused again and lifted his eyes to meet hers for the first time since he’d arrived.

“Are you seeing anyone right now?”

His blunt and seemingly out of nowhere question left Madeline even more baffled than before as she struggled to make sense of all his odd behaviour.

“Like, romantically?”

“Yeah, like a boyfriend or whatever.”

“No,” Madeline shook her head. “I’ve been spending almost all my time training since the fall when I heard that the principal dancer spot was up for grabs and then when I got it, I wanted to make sure I really proved myself. I haven’t really had time for dating.”

It was more of an in depth explanation than she thought Chris might have expected, but she was too busy trying to puzzle out what could possibly be going on with him to worry about being concise.

“Okay, great. Well, that’s good.”

His shoulders dropped in relief, but his words seemed to be said more to himself than to Madeline and she was growing desperate for some answers.

“Why? What does that have to do with anything?”

Her question had Chris stopping in his tracks as he scoffed out a laugh.

“A lot, it has everything to with this conversation we’re about to have,” Chris informed her, taking in a deep breath before finally blurting out what was really on his mind. “Because I’m in love with you.”

His words hung in the air between them as Madeline sat in stunned silence.

She’d wanted to hear those words for so long. She’d spent so many years wishing for it to happen and spent countless hours daydreaming about it, but now it was happening she was so shocked that all she could do was stare at him with her jaw hanging open. There was a flicker of excitement somewhere deep in her stomach, but she’d managed to get herself so convinced that it was an impossible reality that the doubts immediately crept in and her blood ran cold.

“Is this a prank?”

The anxious look of anticipation on Chris’ face shifted into one of shock.

“What?”

“Did Scott put you up to this?” Madeline questioned. “Because it’s not funny, Chris.”

As the potential humiliation hung above her, Madeline felt tears well up in her eyes. Chris must have noticed them too as he suddenly moved from where he’d seemed to be frozen in place and rushed to sit beside her.

“No, I promise that’s not what’s going on,” he assured her. “I haven’t told anyone about this, I didn’t wanna tell anyone until I know if you’re gonna turn me down or not.”

Suddenly unable to meet his eye, Madeline looked down at her lap as she nodded her head, needing a moment to process what he’d just told her.

It felt unbelievable. She couldn’t help but wonder if she was dreaming. Or if maybe she’d slipped on her way to the door to let him in and she was currently hallucinating due to a head injury. Because both of those theories seemed more realistic than the thought of him actually confessing his love for her.

However, as he slid his hand over to rest it on top of hers, the warmth of his touch had her unable to deny it was real. She hesitated - still uneasy and worried that she’d misunderstood - but as she thought back to the look of tortured apprehension on his face as he announced his love, she knew there was merit to what he was saying.

As she took a moment to steady herself, she flipped her hand to press her palm against his and relished the strange yet comforting feeling of their interlaced fingers before lifting her gaze to meet his.

“I’d never turn you down,” she admitted, the shake in her voice giving away her nerves. “Because I feel the same way.”

His eyes widened and she imagined that the expression of shock on his face probably mirrored her initial reaction as it looked as if he hadn’t expected her to reciprocate her feelings.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Madeline nodded, the corners of her lips lifting into a smile as the reality of the situation began to sink in. “I’ve been in love with you for a long time. A really, really long time.”

The sound that fell from Chris’ lips after hearing those words could only be described as a giggle and he hung his head for a moment before collapsing back against the cushions behind him. The anxiety he’d felt when he entered her apartment had clearly shifted into relief and his hand slipped out of Madeline’s grasp as he lifted it to rub his face before flashing her a grin.

“Oh, man,” he chuckled. “I really thought you were gonna laugh me right out of here.”

Madeline shook her head, almost offended by that assumption.

“No way. Even if I didn’t feel the same way, I would never have laughed at you or let it come between us.”

“Yeah?” Chris smirked. “So why did you never mention how you felt?”

The question earned a laugh and a shrug of Madeline’s shoulders as she knew the point he was trying to make.

“Because I was worried you would laugh at me and it would ruin our friendship,” she admitted. “But you never gave me even a hint of a sign!”

“Neither did you,” Chris pointed out. “But I really only had this epiphany a few weeks ago on your opening night. If you’ve felt like this for a while, I dunno how you’ve handled it because I felt like I was gonna explode tryin’ to keep it in.”

“Yeah, I noticed from the way you just barged into my apartment like you were about to tell me you murdered somebody or something,” Madeline teased, but as Chris chuckled and the sound caused a familiar fluttering in her heart, it also had the knots tightening back up in her stomach. “So, where do we go from here?”

“Well,” Chris shrugged. “I’d really like to take you on a date.”

The ear to ear grin that his suggestion put on her face had Madeline’s cheeks starting to ache in the best possible way and she wondered if she should pinch herself to make sure that she wasn’t dreaming.

“I’d really like that too.”

“Tonight? Do you have any rehearsals?”

“No, I don’t. I’m free tonight.”

“Perfect,” Chris nodded, as he quickly pulled himself off of the couch until he was standing in front of her. “I’ve gotta go check in and all that, but I’ll pick you up around six?”

Madeline nodded as Chris held out a hand to help her to her feet before pulling her in his arms. The energy between them was still a little uncertain as both of them tried to get their minds around the revelation that they’d had, but they took a moment to enjoy the calm they felt as they stood wrapped up in each other’s embrace. However, much sooner than Madeline would have liked, Chris dragged himself away and with the same chaotic, hurricane inspired energy that he’d entered her apartment with, he shouted a goodbye and disappeared as fast as he’d arrived.

Madeline spent the rest of the afternoon in a daze.

She’d felt almost giddy when Chris had left, but the more time that passed the more her doubts began to take over again. She couldn’t shake the thought that somehow she might have misunderstood him. That she would open the door to greet him later just to find out that she’d gotten it wrong and he hadn’t meant what he’d said. That still made more sense to her than the fact that after the years of pining away for him, she was finally getting what she’d always wanted.

It didn’t help that she was going through the turmoil alone.

She’d debated calling Scott for some kind of explanation or guidance, but if Chris was telling the truth about keeping his feelings to himself then she didn’t want to be the one to break the news. She also debated calling her mother, but she knew that there were no secrets between her and Chris’ mom and she didn’t want the news to spread before they’d had more time to figure out what was going on. So, she persevered with nothing but her own thoughts and tried not to let her anxiety ruin the moment that she’d been waiting for since she was old enough to realize the depth of her feelings for Chris.

By the time he buzzed her apartment and she was headed downstairs to meet him, she was shaking with nerves. However, the comforting familiarity of the smile on his face as she walked out of her apartment building’s lobby helped put her at ease.

“Hi,” he greeted her, pushing away from the wall he’d been leaning on as soon as he saw her. “Wow, you look amazing.”

His words filled her with relief as she’d spent more time than she wanted to admit agonizing over her outfit. She’d been tempted to message him to find out more about their plans, but her fear that he’d come to his senses and cancel completely stopped her from picking up the phone. She’d eventually settled on a short white dress paired with sneakers to keep it casual and a light coat to keep her warm in the evening spring air.

“Thanks,” she matched his smile. “I wasn’t sure where we’d be going so I was worried that I’d be overdressed.”

“No, definitely not. You look great.”

There was an air of awkwardness between them that Madeline wasn’t used to with Chris, but the edge of nervousness in his voice had her relieved that she wasn’t the only one thrown off by their new dynamic. Desperately trying to remember how she used to act around him, she slid her hands into the pockets of her jacket as she fidgeted under his gaze.

“So, where are we going?”

Her question seemed to snap Chris into action as his eyes left her outfit and lifted to meet hers.

“How does Italian sound?” He asked. “I made us a reservation, but if you’re in the mood for something else then I can think of something else.”

“Italian sounds perfect,” Madeline assured him. “Can we walk or should we get a cab?”

“We can walk,” Chris shrugged. “Shouldn’t take long, if you don’t mind.”

It was strange how - despite knowing each other their entire lives - their earlier conversation had suddenly left them with the social skills of two people meeting for the first time.

Madeline was used to Chris showing up at her apartment and demanding that she accompany him to whatever restaurant he’d been missing while he was out of town. He always made her walk regardless of how many hours she’d spent dancing that day or how sore her muscles were and she usually complained the entire time - whether it was three blocks or ten - and made fun of him for being too cheap for a cab despite his new life as a Hollywood superstar.

Now, they seemed to be walking on eggshells around each other. Madeline was determined to break the ice, but she cringed at the first question that came out of her mouth as they made their way down the sidewalk.

“It’s really warm today, isn’t it?”

They were far beyond talking about the weather, but Madeline couldn’t think of anything else to say that wasn’t a long rambled list of questions about how or why he’d suddenly decided he was in love with her.

“Is it?” Chris smiled. “After being in L.A. for the last few weeks, it feels like it’s freezing here.”

“I forgot that you’re a California boy now,” Madeline teased. “But compared to a couple of weeks ago, it’s really warm here now.”

“That’s the nice thing about coming back to the East coast,” Chris mused. “I prefer somewhere with actual seasons.”

“Me too. I couldn’t live in L.A. with its endless summer.” Madeline’s observation didn’t draw much of a response from Chris and her stomach started churning as a silence fell between them. They made it another block before Madeline couldn’t take the awkwardness any longer and blurted out another question. “Chris, this is weird, isn’t it?”

Biting her lip, she looked up at him and braced for him to breathe a sigh of relief, agree with her and take back everything he’d said, but his response was far different than she anticipated. His eyes widening in surprise, he quickly shook his head.

“No, no, it’s not!” His insistence felt forced and untrue and a sigh fell from his lips. “Okay, it’s a little weird, I’m sorry. I just really didn’t expect today to go the way that it did, I didn’t think this far ahead.”

Madeline knew that Chris wasn’t always as confident and self-assured as the persona that he tried to present to the world, but his shyness in that moment tugged at her heart. They were in it together now - both of them had said things that couldn’t easily be taken back - and they had to muddle through the mess they’d created as a team. Their walking had slowed when she’d put forth the question, but feeling a sudden rush of courage, she slipped her hand into his.

“I wasn’t expecting any of this to happen today so I’m definitely a little shocked by it all,” she admitted as they settled back into their pace. “But I think we just need to relax. We’re just hanging out, right?”

The fact that their hands were now clasped as Madeline leaned against his arm made it clear that it was a little more than that, but she felt Chris’ shoulders drop as his tension eased and he squeezed her hand as he nodded his head.

“Yeah, you’re right,” he agreed. “Sorry, I’m just tryin’ to quiet all the noise in my brain.”

“You don’t need to be sorry,” Madeline assured him. “Trust me, I get it. I spent most of the afternoon trying to convince myself that I hadn’t hallucinated our entire conversation.”

She heard a soft chuckle slip from Chris’ lips and the sound had her unable to hold back a smile.

“I don’t blame you for that one, it was a little more chaotic than I’d planned on it being.”

“Oh, really? Did you have some big romantic plan?”

“Nah, I didn’t really have any plan at all,” he admitted. “Every time I tried to think about what I would say I got so nervous that I didn't think I’d be able to do it at all, but I thought even if I was just winging it I would have been able to come up with something better than what I did.”

“To be honest, I don’t think it would have mattered how you told me. I would have been shocked either way,” Madeline admitted, hoping that a reminder of her own confession would put him at ease. “I really have felt the same way about you for almost as long as I can remember, but I never thought you’d think of me that way.”

Chris led her around a corner and onto another street as he glanced down at her, his eyes skimming over her face as if he was searching for any sign of a lie.

“I can’t wrap my head around that,” Chris mused. “It never crossed my mind that you might already feel the same, I thought I’d have to convince you to give me a chance.”

“I guess I got a little too good at hiding how I feel, but I never wanted to make you uncomfortable.”

“Well, that’s much more respectable than my strategy,” Chris commended her. “Bursting into your apartment on the edge of a panic attack and practically screaming it at you could have definitely made things uncomfortable.”

“I dunno, I’m pretty used to your dramatics by now,” Madeline teased. “And one of us had to take the plunge so I’m glad that you told me despite the slightly insane delivery.”

There was a smile on her face as she spoke, but as Chris chuckled and led her around another corner with the assurance that they were almost there, her smile faltered slightly.

“Chris, I only know one Italian restaurant on this street and it’s way out of my price range.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Chris shrugged. “I asked you out, it’s on me.”

“It does matter though,” she insisted. “Captain America isn’t out yet, it might be a total flop and I don’t want you to be in debt because you took me out to dinner.”

She tried to keep her tone light and teasing, but she couldn’t deny the twinge of guilt in her stomach. Her promotion had come with a decent pay rise, but being a ballerina hadn’t always been a particularly lucrative career and living in New York had always been expensive. Restaurants like the one they were walking towards were not somewhere she would usually even consider dining and she didn’t want Chris to waste his money just to impress her.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” His words were laced with sarcasm as he bumped his hip against hers. “But even if Captain America flops, I can afford one dinner here - especially if it means making a good impression on you.”

He shot her a wink that had her cheeks heating up and silenced her protests as he opened the door to the restaurant. She watched as he discreetly gave his name and followed him as he was led to a table near the back, choosing to sit with his back to the door to hide his identity if anyone happened to notice them. From her seat, Madeline had a good view of the place and - food aside - she could see why it was as expensive as it was. With the exquisite decor and impeccably dressed waiters, she knew it wasn’t the type of place that they usually went to and while it was unnecessary, she was touched that Chris was putting in so much effort to make it special.

Chris ordered a bottle of red wine for them to share and Madeline glanced over the menu, trying her best to ignore the prices. She didn’t want any further protests about the cost to be taken as doubt of his financial security and when the waiter returned with their wine and to take their orders, she picked a pasta dish in the middle of the price range to avoid the argument that she knew would ensue if she went for the cheaper option of a salad.

When they were finally alone once again, Chris raised his glass.

“Cheers,” he smiled, waiting for Madeline to copy his action with a smile of her own. “To new beginnings.”

Clinking their glasses together as they toasted before taking a sip, Madeline let the rich, full-bodied wine float on her tongue for a moment before letting his words segue her into the question that had been on her mind all afternoon.

“Speaking of new beginnings, we’ve established that I’ve been pining away for you for a long time,” she started. “But you said you had an epiphany just a few weeks ago so I guess I’m just wondering what sparked that?”

“I don’t really know,” Chris admitted. “It just hit me when I was watching you dance. I think I’ve been in love with you for a long time, but I was too stupid to see it.”

“You’re not stupid, it’s a complicated situation.”

“Yeah, but you’ve always been super important to me,” Chris continued. “I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting to figure it all out and things were different between us even when we were kids. I was always making sure that Ma invited you to everything we did because I just felt this need to be around you and it hasn’t ever gone away. I think about you all the time and you’re always at the top of my list of people I want to see. I can’t believe it took me so long to figure out why.”

He looked a little sheepish as he finished talking, but his words had Madeline feeling so full of love that she thought her heart might burst.

“I’ve always known we had something special,” Madeline agreed, reaching out to rest her hand on his where it rested on the table. “I think that’s why I was too scared to tell you how I felt in case it ruined our friendship. I was so worried that you’d be creeped out and I’d lose you forever and being your friend seemed better than nothing.”

“That’s not gonna happen,” he assured her. “Even if this doesn’t work out, I think we can be mature enough to stay friends.”

“I hope so,” Madeline smiled. “Because you’re, like, my safety blanket. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Chris nodded, but as he flipped his hand to intertwine their fingers again as they had earlier that day, Madeline noticed a worried look had crossed his face.

“I have to leave soon though,” he reminded her. “I’d love to stay longer, but I’m leaving at the end of the week to start filming.”

“I know, but that’s okay,” Madeline shrugged. “I’ll miss you like I always do, but maybe I can come and visit you? May and June are a little busy for me, but I could probably come for a weekend and after our June performances wrap up then I’ll be free for at least six weeks.”

She’d already thought about it as she was getting ready for their date, but a blush rose on her cheeks as she realized how eager sounded. Chris, however, didn’t seem to notice as her words softened the anxious tension in his jaw.

“Great, that sounds perfect. I’ll check my filming schedule and we can make some plans, I might be able to sneak back here for a few days too.”

It was comforting to know that Chris was as desperate to stay connected as she was, but the way his brow stayed furrowed as if he was deep in thought told Madeline there was more he wanted to say. She rubbed her thumb against his skin and waited to see if he would come clean, but after a few more moments of silence she tentatively prompted him to open up.

“You look worried.”

He seemed a little caught off guard by her observation, but after another moment of thought he let out a sigh.

“I guess I am,” he admitted. “You know how anxious I was about taking on the role of Captain America and a lot of that was because of some of the less positive ways such a big role could change my life. If we give this a shot then you’ll be dragged into it all too.”

Madeline felt a pang of relief that his concern wasn’t due to any second thoughts and shrugged her shoulders.

“I don’t care about that. I’ve already kinda been dragged into it with the fans you have now. They’re always curious about who I am or fishing for information because they assume we have some kind of history together. I can handle it.”

“But it could get a lot worse so I get it if you want to take some time to think it over.”

“I don’t,” Madeline insisted, her voice firm and leaving no room for him to argue. “I don’t need any time to think this over, I’ve been thinking it over for years. If you want this then so do I.”

“I do want it,” Chris assured her, squeezing her hand. “But if it gets too much at any point, you’ve gotta tell me.”

Madeline nodded and promised she would, but she was relieved to see their food arriving at the table and used the interruption to transition the conversation to things that made Chris look less stressed.

They talked about how excited he was to get back to work, she gushed about how thrilled she was to complete her first set of performances as a principal dancer, they chatted about their families and what everyone was up to and by the time they were done eating the awkward tension that had hung around them at the start of the date had vanished completely. Time flew by as they were wrapped up in each other as it always did when they were together and it wasn’t until they were walking with their arms linked back to Madeline’s apartment when they broached the subject of what would happen next.

“Thank you for dinner,” Madeline murmured, leaning against him for warmth in the cool evening air. “I appreciate you taking me somewhere so nice, but I hope you know me well enough to know that I don’t need fancy restaurants to impress me.”

“I know,” Chris nodded. “I just wanted to do something kinda special to mark the moment.”

“That’s really sweet,” Madeline smiled, feeling a twinge of nervousness as she forced the next words out of her mouth. “I found a really cute place the other day that’s a little more our style so maybe I can plan our next date?”

“Sure, how about tomorrow?"

His question had the breath she’d been holding - braced for the rejection that she couldn’t shake away her fear of - puffing from her lips with a laugh.

“Tomorrow?” She giggled. “Aren’t you supposed to play it cool and wait at least three days to text me again?”

“I think we’re a little past that,” Chris chuckled. “And we’ve gotta make up for lost time so I’m free tomorrow if you are.”

His eagerness was encouraging and considering he had to leave at the end of the week, Madeline was happy to make the most of the time they had.

“I have training tomorrow night,” she informed him. “But I’m free in the afternoon if you’re okay with a lunch date.”

“Absolutely,” he agreed with no hesitation. “I have no plans for most of the time I’m here so I’ll take as much time with you as you’re willing to give me.”

The sincerity in his voice had Madeline melting with relief as she felt the same way. Their new situation still felt so precarious - as if it could all be taken away any minute as fast as it had happened - and she felt the urge to stay close to him even more than she usually did.

“Perfect,” Madeline smiled as they reached her apartment building and their goodbye loomed over them. “The place is close to the dance studio, but I’ll text you the address in the morning.”

She slipped her arm away from his to reach into her purse for her keys and couldn’t help but wonder how the night would end. She was hoping desperately for a goodnight kiss, but as she lingered by the door waiting for him to make a move, she quickly began to lose hope.

“Well, thanks again,” she smiled, feeling the earlier awkwardness creeping back in. “I had a really nice time.”

Chris flashed her a smile of his own and she felt her heartbeat pick up speed as he moved closer towards her. She was sure that it was the moment she’d been waiting for, but disappointment washed over her like an icy cold wave as he murmured a soft ‘me too’ and pulled her into his arms for a hug.

By the time Madeline got to the dance studio the following evening, she was feeling disheartened.

She’d had another wonderful date with Chris and everything seemed to be going well, but he’d left her at the door of the studio with nothing but a hug once again. Other than the new addition of handholding, the shift in their relationship really wasn’t that noticeable and Madeline couldn't help but wonder why - if he was in love with her - he wouldn’t be as desperate for more as she was.

Her heart felt heavy in her chest as she went through the motions of changing from her date clothes into something more appropriate for the hours of dance ahead of her and she was relieved that she’d be able to bury herself into something that always helped clear her mind. Nothing helped her escape her problems like going through the familiar motions of ballet until her muscles were burning with exhaustion.

However, the deep sigh that fell from her lips as she pushed open the door to the studio she’d be training in that night hindered her attempts to run away from her troubles as it drew the attention of her friend.

“Hey,” Heidi called over from where she was stretching across the room. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Madeline nodded, walking over to join her in front of the mirror. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

It was a simple question, but it left Madeline feeling very conflicted. She felt like she was in desperate need of advice and keeping Chris’ confession to herself for the last twenty-fours had been a struggle, but she also didn’t want to share the news if it was all about to crumble out from underneath her. She debated her options for a brief moment before the clear concern on Heidi’s face won her over and she began to spill her tale of woe.

“I’m okay,” she assured her. “But I went on a date today, and last night.”

Heidi bit back a smile as Madeline’s vague explanation had her raising an eyebrow.

“Oh, that totally explains why you look like someone just ruined your life.” Her tone was sarcastic, but Madeline wasn’t entirely sure she was wrong. “Who was your date with?”

“My friend Chris.”

There was a moment of silence as Heidi gave Madeline a very suspicious look before posing another question.

“Your friend Chris? The one that most people know as the actor Chris Evans?”

“Yep, that’s the one.”

“Oh my god, Maddie! Good for you, he’s seriously hot!” The enthusiasm in her response had a reluctant smile sliding onto Madeline’s face despite the turmoil she was feeling. “But I still don’t understand why that news has you looking so sad…”

“It’s gonna sound so stupid when I say it out loud,” Madeline warned her. “You’ll think I'm an idiot.”

“I won’t, I promise.”

Madeline bit her lip as she leaned into the stretch she was doing, hoping to hide the rising blush in her cheeks.

“Because he hasn’t kissed me yet.” She blurted out her explanation, but quickly followed it up with a rundown of how their dates had come to be to give Heidi a little more context before she got to the root of what was bothering her. “It just feels like nothing has really changed. Our dates were nice, but nothing we didn’t do as friends other than a little extra hand holding. It seems weird.”

Taking a moment to take it all in, Heidi nodded understandingly until she lifted her shoulders in a shrug.

“Maybe he just wants to take it slow? You know, maybe he doesn’t want to make any big moves and really cross that line until he’s really sure that he’s figured out his feelings.”

“I think that’s what I’m worried about,” Madeline admitted. “He sounded so sure of himself when he told me how he was feeling, but he did say he only realized a few weeks ago so now I feel like he’s changed his mind after spending time with me.”

“I bet that’s not the problem,” Heidi insisted. “It’s not like he’s never spent time with you before, he already knows you pretty well.”

“Exactly, what else would he need to figure out?”

“I don’t know, but it’s a big step to cross that line and really become more than just friends. He could be following your lead and waiting for you to make a move.”

As the idea had Madeline’s stomach twisting in knots, her brow furrowed with displeasure.

“Why would he do that?”

“Well, he already put himself out there by sharing his feelings in the first place, right? Maybe he’s waiting for you to make the next move to show that you’re really on the same page.”

“But I’ve already told him that we’re on the same page and that I’ve been in love with him for years.”

“Yeah, but showing is different to telling,” Heidi pointed out. “When are you seeing him again?”

“Tomorrow,” Madeline sighed. “And probably on Friday too, but he leaves Friday night to start working on his next movie.”

“Okay, so when you see him tomorrow why don’t you kiss him and see what happens?”

Again, just the thought of being so bold had Madeline almost overwhelmed by anxiety.

“Because, what if I try and he just pushes me away.”

“I have a pretty good feeling that he won’t, but if he does then at least you have your answer,” Heidi shrugged. “Then he’ll leave to go back to work and by the time you see him again the dust will have settled and you can pretend it all never happened.”

Madeline swallowed hard as she blinked back the tears that were suddenly swimming in her eyes. It felt like an all too real possibility and she wasn’t sure it was something she could handle.

“That would break my heart,” she admitted. “I love him so much.”

“I know, sweetheart, and if it happens I’ll be here for you,” Heidi assured her, pulling her into a hug. “But that’s, like, the worst case scenario. I’m almost a thousand percent sure that he’ll be all over you once you give him the green light.”

Her confidence in that statement pulled a giggled from Madeline as she felt some of her tension ease. It did seem a little unlikely that Chris would have changed his mind so quickly after he seemed so sincere when he told her how he felt. Their dates had gone well - there were no major hiccups or issues that should have made him backtrack - and the fact that Heidi didn’t seem to think she should give up and run away had her feeling slightly less hopeless than she had when she’d arrived in the studio.

Once her feeling of dread had been dampened and the other dancers arrived, Madeline let herself get lost in their training. She pushed herself until there was no room in her mind to think about anything other than the task at hand and the time away from her thoughts left her with much more clarity. Heidi was right. She needed to have a little faith in Chris’ feelings, but making a move and being rejected was better than letting him leave town with everything still feeling so uncertain.

Heading back out the door of the dance studio, she felt far more centered than she had when she’d arrived and she had a fierce determination to end her date with Chris the next day with more than just a hug.

Staring at the woman across the table from him, Chris felt like a complete idiot.

He couldn’t believe how blind he’d been for so many years or how it was possible that he hadn’t realized what had been right in front of him for his entire life. Every smile, every giggle, every happy sigh that fell from her lips had his heart fluttering in his chest and it left him stunned that he hadn’t let himself fully appreciate all the warmth and joy she brought to his life. She’d been with him through the tough times when he struggled in auditions and felt like his career was going nowhere, she’d been there for his parents’ divorce when his whole idea of his perfect family was shattered, she’d always been a source of calm when his anxiety reared its ugly head. She was the person he went to when he needed to feel safe. She understood him better than almost anyone outside of his family. He really couldn’t believe that it had taken him so long to understand the depth of his feelings for her.

He was also still scratching his head about how he got lucky enough for her to feel the same way. He thought there were two options when he got to her apartment earlier that week - she would either completely reject him and want nothing to do with his newly discovered feelings or be neutral and willing to be convinced - but he didn’t even entertain the idea that his admission would be met by Madeline’s own confession of love. She was funny, kind, intelligent, feisty and absolutely gorgeous. She was passionate about her goals and dedicated enough to be achieving some of her biggest dreams before she was even thirty. He had no idea what he’d done to be worthy of her love, but he was grateful to have it and willing to do anything to show her that she wasn’t making a mistake by giving him a shot.

Because he was completely head over heels for her.

Everything about her seemed to stoke the new fire that was burning inside him and her flirtatious mood was driving him wild. Maybe it was the cocktails she was sipping on or just the comfort they’d slipped into after their first couple of dates, but she couldn’t seem to keep her hands to herself. They’d always had a very physical relationship - all their time spent together as kids had shattered some of the spatial boundaries that many adult friendships had - but there was something different about it after what they’d both shared and the way she kept rubbing her foot against his leg under the table was proving to be very distracting.

However, her tactile mood did put him at ease. He’d been dying to kiss her since the moment he’d stormed into her apartment, but he was worried about pushing her too far too fast. He knew it was quite a bomb that he’d dropped by announcing his feelings so out of the blue and he didn’t want to overwhelm her. The lingering fear of rejection was also a contributing factor because it had taken more courage than he thought he had to confess how he felt and if Madeline had just been swept up in the moment, but turned him down when he really tried to make a move then he wasn’t sure he could handle the pain that would cause him.

He knew he needed to seal the deal before he left - especially since he didn’t know exactly when he would see her again - and the affection she was showing him was giving him the confidence he needed to finally cross that line.

It wasn’t until they were walking back towards Madeline’s apartment that Chris felt the nerves begin to creep back in. He’d been so close to breaking through that last line between friendship and more when he’d dropped her off at the dance studio the day before, but he’d chickened out at the last minute. He was determined not to make the same mistake again, but he could feel the anxious thoughts creeping into his mind.

“So,” Madeline interrupted his thoughts as they turned onto her block, arms linked once again. “What time is your flight tomorrow?”

“Late afternoon, I think.” Chris sighed as the thought of leaving her now had him feeling quite morose. “But we could get breakfast if you’re not dancing?”

“No, I’ll be dancing in the afternoon so that’s perfect.”

The way she squeezed his arm a little tighter as she spoke had him looking down at her to see her gazing right back up at him.

“What?” He asked, a soft smile sliding onto his face.

“I don’t want you to go…” Her words were soft and her eyes widened as they slipped out of her mouth as if she hadn’t meant to say them out loud. “I mean, I’m so happy for you and excited that you get to work on such a big project, but I wish you’d be closer.”

“Me too,” Chris agreed. “But we’ll make it work.”

“But they film lots of movies in New York, I don’t understand why they can’t just film it all here instead.”

The pout that slid onto her face earned a chuckle from Chris as they stopped outside her building.

“I dunno either, but I don’t think I have quite enough sway yet to get them to change it for me.”

“Can’t have the Avengers without Captain America,” Madeline pointed out. “I think it’s worth a shot.”

She slipped away from him to dig through her purse for her keys and Chris immediately missed the warmth of her body against his. As their goodbye drew closer, he knew what he needed to do, but the doubts in his head were holding him back. He felt frozen where he stood with his hands in his pockets until he noticed her watching him - keys in her hand - with an expectant look on her face.

Moving closer, he slipped his arms around her as he had at the end of their previous dates and he felt her tense slightly before she lifted her arms, wrapping them around his neck to pull him close. She felt so good, she smelt good, everything about her just made him want her more and he leaned back enough to glance down at her. It seemed the expectant look on her face had shifted into disappointment and that had Chris unsure of his next move. The hug was lingering, dragging on longer than seemed reasonable and he knew he had to act quickly, but in his panic his insecurities took hold and he felt his earlier bravery slipping away.

He dipped his head, aiming to press a kiss against her cheek, but a shift of her head had him catching the corner of her lips instead. Even that was enough to have his heart racing, but as he tried to pull away, he felt Madeline’s hand on the back of his neck holding him in place.

“Please…”

It was hardly more than a whimper, but Chris knew what she was asking for and the simple word filled him with courage. He needed no further prompting to lean back in and press his lips against hers and her immediate response pushed any doubt from his mind.

Feeling a spark seemed like such a cliche, but it was really the only way Chris could think to describe the moment. The rush of love and desire he felt had his grip tightening on her waist as her hand slid up to his hair as if both of them were desperate to be as close to each other as physically possible. He felt consumed by her like he would crumble if she ever pulled herself out of his arms and when she broke the kiss to catch a much needed breath the sight of her slightly swollen lips had him unable to resist diving back in for more.

Neither of them were sure how much time had passed as they stood on the doorstep of her building completely lost in each other. The need to stay connected had them both too wound up to even think of walking away, but as Chris struggled to find the willpower to force out a ‘goodnight’, Madeline had another suggestion.

“Do you wanna stay here?” She asked as she fought to catch her breath. “If we’re meeting up in the morning anyway you may as well save yourself a cab ride.”

Her reasoning had a smirk sliding onto Chris’ face, but he was too relieved by the offer to make fun of her ulterior motives.

“I like the way you think. I’d love to stay.”

Madeline flashed him a grin before stealing another quick kiss and slipping out of his arms. She found her keys on the ground where they’d slipped from her hands in their frenzy and hurried to unlock the door, leading him through the hallways until they reached her apartment where they spent the rest of the night exploring all the things they’d missed out on in the years they’d wasted pretending to be just friends.

Tags: @maggotzombie @moonlacebeam @mizzzpink @flowery-mess @flowerjewels@hockeychick10 @partypoison00 @theladybiers @sidepieces @patzammit @sparkledfirecracker @mytbel0st @denisemarieangelina @elrw24 @findthebeautyinbreakdowns @trottae17 @annvail @rach2602 @sarahdonald87 @firephotogrl74 @ourfinest-hour @k-evans-writes

#chris evans #chris evans fic #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fanfic #chris evans fan fiction #back to you

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blimbo-buddy · 4 months

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Housefire AU: Kittypet Art

unlike clan cats, kittypets tend to have a lot more free time on their paws and a way they tend to spend that time is by interacting with the community, one of the many ways they do this is theatre. there's a open area at the town square where cats will gather, all just to watch the many shows the brilliant minds of the community have thought up with. here's a two of the more popular reoccuring shows and what part of the season they're usually centered around. a broken hive (autumn): this one centers around the tale of bumble, a young cat running away from her abusive mate to find love in the mysterious group of wildcats. there are many inaccuracies to this tale and characters may be misnamed, graywing is commonly only known as an unnamed and is shoved to side of these tales, sometimes only being there to drag away a kicking and screaming bumble in one scene. most clan cats are described to be monstrous in this play, especially any future leaders that are featured (usually they will played as puppets carved out of wood and various twoleg trash) in the end turtle is the only one crying at her grave and is seen 'running away' from the clans after (instead of searching for her lost kits). her fate is left ambiguous to the audience the tale of mike (spring): this story is much more kit-friendly, which is why it's commonly played when the young ones are the most out and about. to keep it short, mike is a young orphaned kit raised by two old mollys. it is obvious from birth that mike was no ordinary kit, being able to take down an entire patrol of wild cat goons at a few months old. the plot centers around mike having to do 12 tasks after angering a spirit due to not treating it as a proper house guest. each task is based around morals such as: humility, respect of one's elders, kindness etc. when mike does all of these tasks, the spirit is impressed and promises to give mike a boon, in which the young kit asks for a new toy. causing the spirit to laugh and giving mike a small mouse doll that will never wear out or become broken from claws or biting.

hoooly fuck frog this is amazing this is incredible. the two plays are so cool and whimsical especially The Tale of Mike

I'm imagining how tragic A Broken Hive is and god save me help me somebody out there. Also I think it's interesting the fact that the play itself implies that Bumble's abusive mate might be Tom, which could also bring up implications of the irritating parts of Chelford, believing that just because two cats live together means they are mates. Gotta love that GreyWing has no important role lmao fuck GreyWing. Just the clan cats being played as puppets is such a cool visual.. imagine TallShadow being a physical puppet but the cats use a light against the wall to cast over the puppet's shadow to make her, well, a tall shadow

The Tale of Mike is such a whimsical little one from the summary, I can see how it's more kit friendly considering it's lighthearted and packed with morals, shout out to the two old mollys we love old people around here. I like how Mike doesn't want anything grand or amazing, he just wants a little small doll mouse that won't wear out which puts emphasis on how sometimes it's the little things in life that will give us the most happiness

eating these plays up frog I'm fucking lovin' this. Wonder if there's any "graphic" plays that isn't suitable for kits because of how bloody and violent it gets

#blimbo rambles #ask #wc #warrior cats theater kids chelford edition

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agirlwithachakram · 1 year

Text

"Am I gay?"

"Oh, sweetie, no, everyone likes prostate stimulation."

"Oh thank god I'm still straight. No, you ass, I mean not bisexual."

"Well, let's see. Spend all your time with a guy who has propositioned you at least once a week since we met, go through wives like you're trying to prove something, but you cheat on them because they're not enough, favorite hooker is taller than you, and your last girlfriend was bossy, which you liked because then you can just do what she says and it's easy to love her, and also she was basically me, who you're screwing now. You had a threesome and you complained about it. Yeah. You're gay."

"But I did love Amber."

"So you had an exception, everyone does."

"Fuck. You're right."

"You're just gonna take my word as law?"

"You make a compelling argument!"

"You need to think for yourself."

"Fine. I'm straight and I've been humoring you this whole time."

"That's so sweet of you."

"Don't people know when they're gay?"

"I know. I was inside you five minutes ago."

"Shouldn't it be about what you do like instead of what you don't? How did you know you were bi?"

"I saw a cute guy start a bar fight over Billy Joel and it gave me funny feelings in my pants, and my mommy said—"

"All right, all right. Wait, seriously?"

"Uh…yeah. Well, there was a guy in college, but we were pretty hammered. Most times."

"You've been following me around this whole time because you wanted to fuck me from the start?"

"More or less."

"But I wasn't even interested. Or, I was, but I didn't…"

"When you're in love, you do stupid stuff."

"I would've had other crushes, at least. Right?"

"You did."

"I did?"

"Yep. I can count like six dudes you got weird about."

"Like six?"

"Seven. You don't remember because you're incapable of centering your own desires."

"That's not…completely true."

"Remember when you had a mid-cancer crisis and bought a sports car you couldn't drive and ate a giant steak and all to see a woman you don't even care about? You reinvented yourself as a sitcom divorcee."

"I…like things on my own. I like theatre. That's not a guy thing."

"It is if you're gay."

"But I didn't know I was—"

"You subsume yourself and your own desires because you're still guilty about your brother to the point that you don't even know what you want. Amber told you to make your own choice and you went with her preference. I told you to pick out one thing you wanted and you got me a present. Most people know they're gay. You couldn't possibly."

"I hate when you monologue about me."

"Am I wrong?"

"No, that's what I hate about it. You're exhausting."

"You like it. We could have a guy threesome. Boys night."

"I don't even know why I care at this point, it's not like I have time to marry anyone else." Pause. "A what?"

"Dude threesome. Eiffel tower."

"No, no. They're too much work."

"Or, you think they are because you're not actually into chicks."

"I…don't know if that was why."

"I've had tons of threesomes, they're fun."

"With professionals."

"Yeah, you had one too."

"Oh goddamnit."

"Chase has good threesomes with civilians."

"I put off homosexuality for thirty years."

"Sounds like it."

"I wasted my entire sexual life."

"Not all of it."

"Fuck."

"Sure! You know I'd never deny you."

"You're ready to go again? I'm not. Hey, you said you liked it."

"Sex?"

"No, the organ, the—Don't say penis. You said you liked what it said about me."

"Uh, yeah, I liked the organ. That doesn't mean it's good for you, that means I like presents. And attention. And you."

"You're mean."

"You like mean."

"Well at least I like something."

"Where are you going? What's on the laptop?"

"I am getting us tickets to the nearest regional theater."

"Oh no."

"Looks like they're doing A Chorus Line. That's fun. I seem to remember you loving that show."

"Wilson. Plays are for making people have sex with you. Musicals are for when you're really desperate."

"And if you're desperate to have sex with me again, you know what to do."

"Fine. But you have to come cuddle now."

"I will. Once I order the tickets."

Snort.

"What?"

"Gaaaaaaaaaaaay."

(This is a complete fic but here’s the AO3 link)

#house md #hilson #james wilson

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ramuda-kinnie · 2 years

Text

Jakurai’s Actions around Ramuda are so Underrated— here is why.

The fact that Jakurai teaches Ramuda that it’s okay to be himself and show his emotions— the whole character arc of Ramuda Amemura— is a common trope in JakuRamu that is already discussed widely. But opposite is true, too. I want to talk about it because I rarely ever see this highlighted.

Ramuda shows Jakurai that it is okay to be himself too.

From the most “trivial” looking things like calling Jakurai’s hair beautiful, playing with it and putting it in braids when all Jakurai did was a lazy ponytail (..and in present timeline he does not even bother with that). From bringing him to a children’s park and enjoying to swing, not judging him by his age.

From saying that Jakurai can seek fun in his life.

That Jakurai is allowed to seek fun.

That he doesn’t always have to be that Big Responsible Person.

That he deserves a break from being The Hero.

That it’s okay if he doesn’t spend all his life in the war zone saving people, or murdering them, or being a mundane doctor minding his own business while raising an orphan.

That it’s okay to just— just be. I don’t think (affectionate) y’all understand how big of a thing it is for Jakurai Jinguji to actually simply exist. He is always feeling a call of duty, always seeking the scientific and philosophic explanations of everything, he feels obligated to justify all of his actions “for the benefit of humanity”, he finds worth in himself only if he is useful to other people (which also backfired as resentment, murder and insane regret at some point). Most of the time, his whole life is centered around saving. Saving saving saving. Saving the world, the orphans, the war zone, hell, even his meeting with Hifumi and Doppo is based on “saving” them from his trouble.

Just a few lines I recall from numerous songs. It is always about saving people (until the last, precious six colors drama track where he admits to Ramuda that he cannot save everyone, but he will definitely save him.) He even says he will become a superman if needed and it really hits close to home and like… If you or any of your loved ones ever experienced a savior complex I think you get it.

Even his raps are always about saving. Saving saving saving, healing healing healing. It is almost like he sees no inherent value in himself, for being Jakurai, at the same time he paradoxically sees such a high value in himself that he (may be feeling) feels above everyone else, like a god who can offer them a hand.

Either way, he doesn’t— can’t see himself equal to other people. Which is not a surprise, to consider Jakurai is a gifted genius and a hardworking learner in so many aspects, such as academics, fights, rapping, sports and all. He is also born in a world of war. He must have seen that there are things someone has to do to save people, that someone has to take responsibility or people will just… keep dying. Violence will keep occuring. And that’s why I’m not judging Jakurai’s god/savior complex, who knows what he has been through for all his life. (On a personal note, I can only say that I relate a portion of his experiences if not the most, as someone whose field of study is closely related to medicine. I had a strong savior complex myself back in past. It is honestly amazing to see a character go through it, I have so much sympathy and affection for him.)

After all of this, after 33 years of believing he has no value if he does not “serve” people— comes Ramuda Amemura.

Instead of “saving” him, Jakurai is instantly saved by Ramuda during a hypnosis microphone attack.

Instead of being superior to him, Jakurai learns rapping from him.

Despite having tons of experience about how things work in the human world— (such as knowing horror themed amusement parks, tea houses and all the other dates they have gone together), Jakurai never truly lives them until he goes to such places with Ramuda— theoretically, yes, Jakurai is aware of the existence of movie theatres, amusement parks, tea houses, waterfalls and various other places. He has probably visited them many times in his life.

But it is only with Ramuda that he feels comfortable enough to open up, be silly, do silly things, ask questions, be spontaneous and actually HAVE FUN. It is only because Ramuda is so bravely himself (or so Jakurai thinks, since he does not know Ramuda’s secrets at that point), never judging Jakurai, never expecting Jakurai to be Calm And Collected, instead giving him the absolute non-judgemental and affectionate place to be himself and learn what it means to live for yourself, to accept yourself as an ever learning person that is not necessarily perfect, and loving that way of him anyways. The fact that Ramuda himself is so inexperienced with life (it is literally the first or the second year of his life) and eagerly excited to just live adds up to their unique synergy and makes JakuRamu my most beloved, absolutely dear one true pairing in my heart.

I have analyzed Ramuda a lot, but I wanted to highlight Jakurai too. Jakurai found the space and courage around Ramuda to be himself and be accepted as himself without having to “serve Ramuda” as a superior being and that is extremely important. Amemura Ramuda is the only one in the entire series who can unapologetically bring up such a side in Jakurai— and they are truly fascinating and deserve to be together eventually.

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linn-94 · 8 months

Text

Chapter 15: A good boy

He had send me a picture of him and Miles together with the text: Miles misses you'.

I decided to text something back.

Sophie:

I miss Miles too, tell him he's a good boy.

Aaron:

He wants you to walk him someday.

Sophie:

That can be arranged! I would love to walk him.

Aaron:

Am I allowed on that walk too? Or are you and Miles want to have some alone time?

I laughed at the text that Aaron had send.

Sophie:

If you are a good boy, you can come too.

Aaron:

I'll promise to be a good boy then.

I love how he teased me and how I could tease him back. He was funny.

The rest of the day was just a chill day. I didn't do much. Except for taking a shower. I went to Central Park for a bit to read my book on my bench. The weather was beautiful and I felt the need to be outside. I enjoyed all the people walking by, it was clearing my head a little.

Later I met Melissa for a cup of coffee. Although we had talked a lot on the phone, we really wanted to get together since neither of us had something better to do.

After coffee we walked around the streets a little. We went to Rockefeller Center and walked to Times Square. Melissa and I always enjoyed the crowds there. We looked at all the people from locals to tourists.

We sat down the red stairs so we had a good view of Times Square.

Melissa looked at the billboard from Moulin Rouge with Aaron and Ashley on it.

"Did you speak to him today after he left?" She asked.

I looked at her and looked away blushing.

"So that's a yes! What did he have to say?"

"He sended me a picture of his dog Miles. Saying Miles missed me." I said.

"Does Miles miss you or is this just a lame excuse and does he miss you?"

"I think, no, I hope the last thing you said."

"Do you miss him?" Melissa asked.

"Yes I miss him. But it's stupid. It's not even been a week since we've met. How can I have this feeling already?"

"You like him Soph, there is nothing wrong with that!"

"I know, but isn't it too early?" I asked anxious.

"That's for you guys to decide. I don't know how he feels about it, neither do you. You guys really need to talk about this."

"I want to, but I'm afraid Lis!"

"I know girl, but you need to get it out. It's not healthy this way."

I knew Melissa was right ofcourse. And deep inside I knew Aaron had the same feelings. But maybe I wasn't ready to commit yet?

My last relationship turned out to be a lie. I couldn't do that another time. What if Aaron and I were together and the same thing would happen? I don't know if I can handle that. I really really like Aaron.

Melissa and I decided to call it a night and we walked to my apartment. Melissa had the idea that we could walk past the Moulin Rouge theatre on the way to my place.

So we did.. when we walked past I could here the show from a little distance. They were just singing 'Come what may'.

"Omg that's the song you sang with Aaron!" Melissa said out loud.

"Shhh I know, I know.. feels weird to hear the song anytime it's on."

We stayed and listened till the song ended. Then we made our way to my apartment again. Melissa and I were both quiet on the way back. I was in my thoughts again. Because of the song, I was there again, in the moment with Aaron, our kiss.

When we arrived at my apartment Melissa and I said our goodbyes and she left to go to her own apartment.

I walked to my kitchen and poured myself a glass of Chardonnay. Then I walked to my couch and put on the tv. I was in the mood to watch something I had watched already, just for sound in the background. I decided to put on the Les Mis film. That way I could relax and watch Aaron. He was in my mind anyway, so why not watch him.

I scrolled through Instagram and watched some Insta stories. I saw Aaron had posted one. It was him in his Christian costume with the caption he was ready for the show. I smiled when I saw the picture in his story and before I even thought about it, I pressed like on the story.

I put away my phone and got back to watching Les Mis. A few minutes later I fell asleep on my couch. My phone went of a couple of times with texts, but I was to fast asleep to notice.

Until I heard someone knocking on my door.

I woke up shocked. It was late at night and someone was knocking at my door.

I didn't really know what to do, who would knock on my door so late?

I walked over to the door and looked through the little hole in it.

At the other side of the door stood Aaron. I opened the door.

"Omg Aaron what are you doin...."

I couldn't finish my sentence, because he kissed me. Right on the mouth!

#moulin rouge broadway #aaron tveit #fanfiction #aaron tveit fiction #aarontveitfanfiction #aarontveitfiction #broadway #aaron tveit imagine #ricky rojas #imagine

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tickle-bugs · 1 year

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Can we get directors commentary on not a house but a home and strange exhilaration please? They stories are so cute and so well written I’d love to hear your thoughts on them

Yes omg!! Sorry this took a bit to answer, I got sidetracked. Thank you for asking!!! Putting these under a cut so i can go ham LOL

Ask for more director's commentary here!

Not a House, But a Home

AHHHH ok ok this was SO fun to write because it's pre-musical Maitlands!! As someone with a deep love for technical theatre, it was fun trying to imagine what the house would be like before the events of the musical. Scenic design is a fun hobby of mine and I love what a set will say about the characters that interact with it!!

Okay so usually when I'm first encountering a prompt/idea, I get clear image of like...the center of the fic? or at least one very specific scene that I can sort of stretch like taffy and build on. The one for this fic was Barbara with the wallpaper! The very first decision I made was that they'd be fixing up the house a bit. It felt in character to me for the Maitlands to literally fix every goddamn thing they could think of instead of like...confronting their mortality LMAO so I wanted to go to a period of their life that felt new and fresh! Also I really love the pastel green wallpaper that they use on the set for the show and I thought it would be sweet if Barbara was the one to put that up. Something something she wears green the house is green something something good luck charm

Then of course the JOKES!! I'm a dad joke connoisseur myself, so it was really fun getting to pick ones for Adam to use. All the jokes in the fic are ones I've used myself, but I looked them up online for specific phrasing. It was really fun getting to play with Adam's delivery actually! To me, Adam has absolutely zero doubt that he's hilarious and will just keep on truckin' until he makes someone laugh. He's so fun to write! He's mischievous and loving and so very white, bless his heart.

I think the core of their relationship is 100% that Barbara and Adam are each other's best friends, y'know? They feel like high school or college sweethearts, or the result of a meet-cute--something sweet and forever-binding. They can't leave Target without buying a million useless things and they take turns either pretending the baby section isn't there or going in and cooing over the little onesies. They slow dance in the kitchen with no music. They have loud, dramatic sing-alongs in the minivan. I think part of that comes from being married/together, but a lot of it is just loving each other's quirks and company.

Also I wrote this in the tags of the og post but I kept making myself laugh writing it by imagining Beetlejuice like...in their walls commenting on the events and such. He's such a wretched little creature I love him dearly. During Ready Set, Not Yet when you see it live, he's bopping around and scatting with 3-D glasses and popcorn literally waiting for them to die it's so fucking funny

Strange Exhilaration

baby's first wicked fic! Wicked will always have a special place in my heart tbh and it was fun bringing back those memories.

This fic was a gift that I whipped up in a couple days, so I didn't sit with it as long as I do some of my other prompts. It was actually nice to do that. It forced me not to overthink what I was doing.

Writing Glinda was a challenge but a welcome one? She speaks in such a specific way but because the show's been running so long, it's basically a new role each time a new actress steps in. I've only ever seen it live once and that was four or five years ago? So it wasn't super fresh in my mind. It was fun trying to reconcile what I remember with what I needed from Glinda. Her vocabulary is everything to me. I stole 'seriosity' (which is a real word but hasn't been used in ages) from Newsies because I had literally just seen it, but the rest were sorta off the cuff!!

okay so first: girlies. jot that down. I love Glinda and Elphaba's friendship and all the tropes that they encompass both together and apart. Whether or not you actually ship it, I do think it's important to write them as if they're a little in love with each other...because they are! I approach the center of their dynamic like this (and I write a lot of deep friendships this way) and it really makes their intimate moments shine ;w;

Elphaba having ticklish hands and Glinda being a teasy sunshine ler were both happy accidents but so fun to write. RIP Elphaba, me too buddy. Hands are mean. But I think it speaks back to their friendship in a sweet way? Elphaba being startled and embarassed by her own softness and Glinda being genuinely 100% delighted by it is so wholesome and true to them, I think. Then of course the reverse of Elphaba allowing herself to be playful and mischievous and Glinda clearly having the time of her life. Ahhhh I love them!!!!

I was fighting for my LIFE not to use 'wicked' or 'bubbly' as adjectives in case it was corny...I think I only did it once or twice each though. I'm so brave.

#director's commentary #SCREEEE #sorry again for the delay but this was so fun i love talking about these things ;w;

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quark-art · 2 years

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Hey there! I read your comic and I love where it’s heading. I noticed before (can’t quite recall what page it was on) that you mentioned that you write a script in your process of creating chapters. I was wondering if you’d have any tips on script writing for someone who can’t comfortably write a script due to all the crazy formatting required for it to be “legible”. Thanks!

oh my gosh, thanks!

and yes i do write scripts for the comic! i love that you asked this because i have a LOT to say about scripts, the most important one being:

unless you are writing a screenplay, the formatting of a script does not matter.

ive worked in theatre for a long time, as an actor, a writer/composer and as a music director, so ive seen a lot of scripts in my time, and let me tell you. every single script ive read for a play or musical is written with entirely different formatting, and the further you get from film/tv, the less it matters to have Correct Formatting.

i have seen fonts from courier new to times new roman to fucking arial, dialogue might be justified left or justified center, stage directions might start in the middle of the page, be justified right, or stretch across the whole thing, character names might be bolded, they might not, or sometimes some character names are bolded and others arent. and dont get me started about continued lines.

so if youre not writing for film or tv, forget about formatting. it doesnt matter. ill show some screenshots of my scripts in this post and you can copy my formatting if you want but you also dont have to! the important thing is about expressing whats happening, whos saying what, in any method that works for you. a script is a blueprint, not a final product. it doesnt have to be pretty.

if you are writing for film or tv, i cant help you there, im not familiar with screenwriting at all. take some classes, idk

anyway. ask yourself: who has to read this?

in theatre or film, an entire production team has to read a script to put together the final product, and a cast of actors has to perform whats written. in this case, you should anticipate the needs of whos reading it*. clearly distinguishing stage directions from dialogue is helpful for this, as well as giving room on the page for people to write things down, like the stage managers cues, or the directors blocking notes.

*this is why, whenever i write a play or musical, i try to make sure every character has a different first initial, so the stage manager can use a single letter for each character.

("O.S." means off-stage or off-screen.)

im also giving some information to the actors about their dialogue. if i need a line to be said in a specific way, or directed at a certain person, or timed a certain way, i provide some information to help them out. words in parentheses like (To [CHARACTER].), ([Adjective].) or (Beat/Pause.) are helpful for this.

(its important not to do this too much, though, at least when youre writing for actors. actors know what theyre doing and dont need you to tell them everything all the time, and its good to leave some room for the actors to play around with the material.)

(formatting note: im writing in courier new with 12 pt font and single spacing. this way, the amount of pages the script is will be roughly equal to the amount of minutes it takes to perform. its more specific in film/tv.)

if youre writing a script for a comic, where the only person who needs to understand it is you, forget all that! you dont need to write for actors or a production team, youre just writing for yourself, the creator! you already know what you mean by everything, so the script is basically a very long series of notes to yourself. i dont even bother with margins, i write my comic scripts in notepad files, using the font i made for the comic. the only text that gets copy pasted into the comic is the dialogue, everything else is information for me to know and express via the comic medium.

ive developed a few convenient shortcuts for myself this way. if i dont want to describe an expression, i can just type out an emoticon. to indicate separate word bubbles or panels, ill use slashes in the middle of dialogue.

the sentence "Flynn goes >:/." appears many times in almost all my scripts.

ill still use words in parentheses in dialogue sometimes, like if a character sighs or groans, or if i need to specify that something is said a certain way.

wow this turned out a lot longer than i thought it would

to wrap this up: if you take away anything from this, let it be that scripts are not a final product, they are instructions for how to put the final product together. they do not have to be pretty. they just have to be comprehensible.

#not art #earth 2068 #writing advice #quark writing #asks

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randallmillermovies · 9 months

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Randall Miller’s Bottle Shock Turns 15

In 2008, the earth was introduced to “Bottle Shock,” a movie that showcased the true story at the rear of how California winemakers at last became acknowledged for high quality that rivaled the French. The film starred the late Alan Rickman, Monthly bill Pullman, and Chris Pine, and showcased a glimpse into 1970s California - while using the best tracks on the 10 years because the soundtrack besides.

Around the fifteenth anniversary of “Bottle Shock,” it is critical to take a look at its legacy. This vital and commercial results cataloged early winemaking in California like no other movie. It is crucial observing for wine connoisseurs and individuals.

“It was an honor to become able to point out this part of yank and California historical past on film, in addition to to do it with such an excellent forged,” mentioned writer and director Randall Miller. “It’s a tale with regard to the little male giving it his all and popping out on top. It is a true American aspiration tale.”

In “Bottle Shock,” Rickman performed Steven Spurrier, a Paris-based, British sommelier who travels to Napa Valley to uncover wine capable of competing head-to-head with French wine in a very blind flavor check. The percentages are in opposition to the California winemakers, Jim Barrett (Pullman) and his hippie son Bo (Pine) - everyone thinks they can be hicks who don’t determine what they may be carrying out.

Nevertheless, the heartwarming story incorporates a twist: it seems that California wine is delectable, plus the Barretts clearly show absolutely everyone that the things they are undertaking in Napa is pure magic. They paved just how for generations of winemakers to return, solidifying California’s put in the environment of wine.

There are many humorous times within the movie, particularly from Rickman. In a single memorable scene, Jim Barrett asks Rickman’s character Spurrier, “Why do I loathe you?”

“Because you think that I’m an asshole,” Spurrier suggests. “Actually, I’m not an asshole. It’s just that I’m British, and, perfectly … you’re not.”

Rickman, who died just 8 years soon after “Bottle Shock” arrived out, was in fantastic kind to be a snooty Brit, a personality he played so nicely irrespective of his real particular warmth and generosity. “Alan,” suggests Jody Savin, the co-writer and producer, “was an excellent mate and we skip him dearly.” Within the movie, he was each easy to hate and easy to love, as he proved when he stood up for that battling California winemakers when it mattered essentially the most. Despite the fact that he was pompous, he could understand greatness when he observed it.

“Alan Rickman was an unbelievable actor who introduced everyday living to each single character he played,” mentioned Miller. “It was an honor to operate with him as well as a privilege to generally be his pal.”

Now, the legacy of “Bottle Shock” is going to live on: the center Theatre at the California Center with the Arts in Escondido is placing on “Bottle Shock! The Musical” from July 7-23, 2023. The musical is going to remain correct into the story, incorporating love, fermentation, dance, as well as the spirit of rock ‘n roll.

No matter whether you enjoy “Bottle Shock,” begin to see the new musical, or the two, you are going to have a very fantastic time understanding concerning the historical past of California winemaking though observing several of the finest on-screen performances on the previous fifteen several years.

#Randall Miller #Bottle Shock #entertainment #movie

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caelestiaa · 2 years

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Stellium Masterpost

What is a stellium?: There is some debate amongst astrologers on what exactly defines a stellium. I personally recognize a stellium when 3 or more personal planets (or 4+ planets total) are in a single sign or house.

•Stelliums through the Houses•

First House: A stellium in the house of self makes for a very self-centered individual. They likely put their needs before the needs of others. They can have a confident output but this is rarely genuine. They will put importance on how others view them with a special importance on first impressions. They may also tend to make judgement of others based on their first impression or appearances. They can be bossy and will have much energy to put forth. They have a fierceness and may also have a tendency to unintentionally “dominate” others and situations.

Second House: This stellium will affect financial matters as well as security. This person likely needs to prove they are secure through material possessions. Things they own are of great importance to them and are usually valuable in some way. They are very aware of their finances, accounts and financial standing. They will want money and possessions but if they are not careful, they will easily fall into debt. Other placements will decide whether this person is a responsible spender or leans towards indulgence. Regardless, this is someone who enjoys luxury. They would rather spend more on quality than settle for cheap alternatives. Giving and receiving may be particularly enjoyable to them, if Venus is present then it may even be a love language.

Third House: The third house stellium revolves around intellect, thought and the mind. This person will have quick thought reflexes and can be very persuasive when they want to be. They will enjoy writing and other methods of communication, as well as brain-provoking activities. They may find that intellectual activities come easily to them and they are fast-learners. This stellium brings a constant line of thought which can cause anxieties at times. They need an outlet for their mind or they will end up keeping too much in their head.

Fourth House: A stellium here includes deep nostalgia and some sort of deep rooted connection to their early childhood, individual planets may tell if its negative or positive connection. This will be a sentimental and nurturing person, they may take on a familial role with everyone around them. They can be easily wounded by those they consider family, likely because they take care of others and expect the same in return. They are likely to enjoy time spent at home and comfort activities. These people dislike confrontation and can be rather passive aggressive.

Fifth House: This person may enjoy being around children and/or has childlike tendencies. This is someone who will enjoy theatre and art. They can be very dramatic and exaggerate to extremes at times. Self-expression is important and will come naturally, its a good idea for individuals with this stellium to find an artistic outlet to express themselves. A stellium in the fifth can also bring a deep sensuality and an enjoyment in risky activities. They may tend to surround themselves with others and dislike being alone.

Sixth House: A stellium in the sixth makes for a nurturer. They likely put themselves at very last in the line. This person is selfless to the point where they can become completely self-neglectful. They enjoy helping others and may even feel it is their purpose in life. This stellium also makes for someone who knows exactly how to help at all times. They have a solution to any problem and if they don’t, they will find one. They may show an interest in health and wellness in terms of lifestyle as well. Exercise and nutrition may bring a sense of rejuvenation that they enjoy. Their home and workspace are probably well-kept.

Seventh House: A stellium in the seventh house will affect partnerships and love. This person is probably looking for long-term commitment and dedication rather than casual flings. It will be important to them that friendships are also long-term and genuine. This person will be easily wounded when others do not show the same commitment and priority in return. They tend to strive for individuality but often end up identifying with those they love. There is also a chance that relationships will be an area of struggle in life. They have firm expectations and are not likely to settle for less.

Eighth House: There is a lot of passion and depth to be manifested with a stellium in the 8th house. This person will have a strong Will and personal drive. They are likely to be compassionate and protective of those around them. They may keep others at arms length due to fears revolving around trust and intimacy. They may have an interest or curiosity towards taboo topics. There will be layers and complexities to those with this stellium that may make them hard to understand or empathize with.

Ninth House: A stellium in the ninth house makes for someone who is constantly looking for more. They will enjoy studying topics of interest in depth and they are good at it. There is a thirst for knowledge that can lead to self-improvement or self-detriment, depending on the planets involved. This person probably has a lot going through their mind at any given time and they may tend to question everything. The “why” and “how” is important to them. They may enjoy traveling as sitting still feels more like being trapped than being comfortable.

Tenth House: The tenth house stellium will cause tensions in matters of authority. This person may want to be in charge of themselves and will often clash with those who try to direct them. There may be a preoccupation with success and achievement here. They will fight and work for what they believe they deserve but this may set them back rather than push them forward. They may be more focused on where they want to be rather than what it takes to get there. More than likely, they attract the attention of others without meaning to. This stellium could also make for someone who stays calm in the spotlight.

Eleventh House: A stellium in the eleventh house will focus on friendships as well as inventing and mystery. This person will enjoy having many acquaintances and a good group of close friends. They prefer to avoid conflict in friend groups as well. This is also somebody who may be interested in the mysteries of life and may find enjoyment in theories and unusual happenings. They are usually very friendly but depending on other placements, they may not be entirely charismatic. This placement can also make for somebody who enjoys tinkering and may be tech-savvy.

Twelfth House: A stellium in the twelfth house can be very complicated. This person will be striving for purpose. They either feel that they know their purpose or feel like they need to know, either way it is an important aspect of life to them. If they feel as though there is no meaning to their life, this will have negative impacts on their feelings of worth and security. They may often feel isolated and doomed. This is because they have experienced much struggle and it is easy to fall into the belief that it will never end. They may struggle with their beliefs throughout life and change them many times, trying to find what feels “right.” It is also likely that this person yearns for social interaction but has trouble making and achieving bonds with others.

•Stelliums through the Signs•

Aries: There is a lot of energy here. This person will tend to be very enthusiastic and lively but the tables can turn quickly to impulsive and aggressive. They are extremely driven and resilient but their impulses will often bite them in the end. They can be very impatient and even careless at times. This is somebody who needs to put thought behind action rather than diving head-first.

Taurus: This person will likely be indulgent and have very fine taste. They are more likely to be smart and practical with their spendings, although other placements may change this. This is someone who will want to have a safety-net savings. They will experience negative feelings and anxieties if money is low or non-existent. They do not enjoy living on the edge, they want security and stability. This is also someone who craves comfort, they will want to be comfortable in every aspect of life not only the financial. A cozy home, stable partner/friends and self-care will matter as well.

Gemini: This is a quick thinker. This person will likely be very charismatic. They may be a bit moody but it will pass quickly. They probably like activities that stimulate thought and speech, as well as using intellect. They have an open mind and are very interested in new topics. They may start debates often as they love thought-provoking discussions. It’s a good idea for this person to have an outlet for their thoughts, that way everything isn’t overwhelming their head. Planning and organizing may help this person to feel less overwhelmed as well.

Cancer: Someone with a stellium in cancer will have very big emotions. They may have trouble hiding their emotions, even when they want to. They tend to be defensive, sensitive and fiercely protective. It’s easy for this person to feel drained by others and they may retreat to privacy for their comfort. They are likely creative and expressive as well. They will naturally nurture others around them and are very compassionate. This is someone you can count on for comfort and love.

Leo: This individual is very expressive and expansive. This is someone with a big personality. This person is likely impatient and protective. They probably crave admiration and attention, as a result they will enjoy being in circumstances that provide this. This individual will enjoy entertaining and tend to be good at it. Charisma and humor will come naturally. There is plenty of creativity that can be harnessed here too.

Virgo: A stellium in virgo makes for a very logical and practical person. This is someone who thinks and analyzes before making a decision, they prefer not to act on emotion. They will feel most comfortable when things are laid out and planned in an organized fashion but that doesn’t mean it always works out that way. Attention to detail and precision will come naturally. They will value their skill set and may even attempt to “sell” their skills or services.

Libra: Someone with this stellium will be very charismatic. They make friends easily. They can also be quite a romantic and may tend to jump headfirst into relationships. This is someone who dislikes conflict and prefers peace overall. They will want to be around like-minded people who get along nicely. If there is any conflict, they may attempt to mediate and resolve it. This person also has a great sense for art and style.

Scorpio: This individual has all the walls up. It is not easy to get inside and truly understand them. They may also struggle with feelings of being misunderstood or misinterpreted often. If they do choose to show the deepest parts of themselves, it means that they trust you very much. They tend to blend into the background often, preferring not to be the center of anyones attention. They may seem defensive and secretive at first glance but rarely have any malicious intentions.

Sagittarius: This is a very passionate and curious individual. They will enjoy learning, studying and traveling. It’s likely that they are interested in different cultures, languages, music and environments. They want to know everything about everything and have a deep craving for knowledge. They will tend to be playful and enjoy good humor. They can unknowingly make others uncomfortable at times with their choice of words or humor. They don’t like to take life too seriously and prefer a good time overall.

Capricorn: A stellium in Capricorn makes for a very consistent and steady person. This is someone with a good balance of work and play. They show dedication and reliability in most areas of life. A solid and steady rock. They tend to be ambitious and confident. They are hard-working and because of this, they truly cherish their down times. When they get a chance to relax, they tend to want subtlety and privacy. In conversation and social settings, they tend to keep things simple and blunt.

Aquarius: This stellium makes for somebody who is very intellectual and mindful. Everybody wants to be their friend but they may keep them at an arms length. Only very few make it to the inner circle which can make some feel as though this individual is detached or “heartless.” There is a restless energy here that can make it hard to focus or stay still. They crave freedom and individuality in a way very few others will understand. This is someone with an intrigue for the unknown and they may go down the rabbit hole when something piques their interest.

Pisces: This is someone who is very creative and imaginative in many ways. They have big emotions and may not know how to express them. Instead, they tend to isolate within themselves when they’re feeling emotional. They have a very strong intuition and offer great advice. They will enjoy having creative outlets, although they may be uncomfortable sharing their ideas/talents with others. They tend to pick up on energies around them so privacy and alone time offer a sense of peace and retreat.

#astrology #zodiac #gemini #cancer #sagittarius #taurus #aries #leo #libra #capricorn #Scorpio #Virgo #Aquarius #Pisces #stellium #all signs #all houses

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platoniclokiimagines · 2 years

Note

i love your blog so much! i’ve been thinking, what kind of things do you think loki would do with his bestie?? like would they paint, maybe shop? (if you have smth that’s similar to this then feel free to ignore it LMAO)

honestly what Wouldn’t you do once you and Loki are close?

granted, it does take a While to get to that level of trust

and to really be able to just Relax around each other and let your guards down

but once you do get to that point?

hoo boy

you two would do almost Everything together

mornings? you’re both drinking tea and judging everyone’s outfits as they come in to get breakfast

“I see the spiderling is wearing the same kitten pajama pants yet again.” “To be fair, I think Tony got them for him. But I concur, doesn’t he have literally anything else to wear?” “And here comes Thor, hair a rat’s nest, as per the norm.” “We live with the most powerful beings on the planet and there’s hardly a lick of fashion sense between any of them. Shame.” “Y/N, I completely agree.”

in fact, pretty much all of your time at the compound is spent together

reading, sparring, going over game plans for missions, all of it you do together

even the mundane things such as chores like doing the dishes or laundry duty, you both end up working on it together

mostly because the two of you are inseparable anyway

and also a little bit because everyone else on the team is a little Too intimidated by Loki to actually try to separate the two of you

your free time away from the compound is also spent together

you go on “outings,” as you like to call them

since Loki’s still pretty new to Earth culture, you’ve taken it upon yourself to introduce them to all your favorite places and things

sometimes you set aside days to be complete tourists

seeing the Statue of Liberty, riding the ferry, getting pizza in Times Square

you even convince them to go see Wicked on Broadway

after which, Loki was adamant about seeing as many plays and musicals as they could get to, dramatic theatre kid that they are

and the sight of them completely enthralled by the shows always makes you smile, anyway, so how could you ever say no?

you take them to all your favorite little hidden gems

the coffee place on seventh street that you adore because it’s always empty in the evenings

the corner of Central Park where there are no joggers or scammers selling photocopies of artwork at outrageous prices

you even take them to the ironically-named Valhalla Bar, which you frequented long before you ever knew any of the Asgardians

you’ll never forget the one time they got absolutely shit-faced on a single pint of beer

“Isn’t Asgardian liquor supposed to be, like... really strong?” “Yes, well, I’m not Asgardian, so.” “...doesn’t that mean Asgardian liquor should have made you this shit-faced, too, if not more?” “................I don’t know right now.”

you also end up with Loki participating in a lot of your personal hobbies, as well

your photography, your drawing, your painting, whatever it is that you do for fun, Loki ends up at least trying

you let them hold your Good(tm) camera and show them how to aim and how to use the grid to center photos

most of them come out a little blurry and off-centered, but you had fun doing goofy poses from them anyway

you get Loki a blank canvas to work with while you’re doing your own painting, and try not to get jealous that painting comes so naturally to them

“How are you so good at that? Have you painted before?” “No. Just lucky, I guess.” “Mm.” “Why, are you jealous?” “No.” “Y/N.” “I’m not.” “Y/N.” “I’m not.” “...” “...okay maybe just a little bit. Look at how you blended those colors together so perfectly. It took me months to perfect that.”

errands? also done together

when it’s your turn to buy groceries for the compound, Loki always tags along

and throws things in the carts that absolutely No One in the compound wants or needs

“Loki, nobody even has a cat at the compound, why would we need catnip?” “I mean, we could put some around T’Challa and see what happens.” “...” “Don’t tell me you’re not at least a little curious.” “...maybe just a little.”

all in all, the two of you are absolutely inseparable

practically joined at the hip

when one of you is sad, the other is doing everything in their power to help you feel better

bringing tea or a favorite book or queuing up dumb TikTok compilations on YouTube

your each other’s wingmen

gassing each other up when you have dates, making sure you’ve got everything you need for when you’re going out

waiting up at night to make sure that the other got home safe

even though you’re both Literal Avengers and know how to handle yourselves

it’s just what you Do

and you wouldn’t have it any other way

#Loki imagine #platonic Loki imagine #Loki #Loki Laufeyson #Loki Odinson #Loki x reader #platonic!Loki x reader #shenanigans #fluff #domestic #anonymous #ask #answered #thank you for the ask!

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poeticblkcoffee · 2 years

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My Great Auntie Venus La Doll. The Bronze Goddess Burlesque

Venus LaDoll performs at Club Savannah, 68 West 3rd Street. (Photo by John Pedin/NY Daily News Archive

Photograph of Venus La Doll dancing by Lonnie Simmons Jet Magazine December 3, 1953

Cabaret of a life

Keeping up with Venus Irving-Prescott

BY BILL RODRIGUEZ

THEN AND NOW: 'The Bronze Goddess of Love' (top) and Venus at AS220.

Anybody who at one time was known — and advertised in Paris — as "The Bronze Goddess of Love" deserves to be the center of attention onstage for an evening.

So the goddess herself, Venus Irving-Prescott, will be performing in the Camp Cabaret at AS220 on March 5 and 6 (on Saturday at 7 p.m. and on Sunday at 3 p.m.; call [401] 831-9327). The sequined glory that was the 1950s and ’60s will be celebrated in song and story by the erstwhile chanteuse and 15 nostalgic young performers. Even admission is vintage: $5 general and $3 if you’re over 60 and thereby can sing along without the bouncing ball.

Venus will be 80-going-on-30 come April. She has found work as an actor, drama coach, costume designer, director, and writer, among other skills she picked up along her way. Dance instructor, publicist, comedienne, TV commercial "on-camera principal" . . . you get the idea.

The cabaret will center around her life, with songs springing out of colorful descriptions and anecdotes. Of which there are many.

Take the time a stranger briskly stepped onto her Saigon stage, took her by the hand, led her away from the microphone, and protected her with his body on the floor. Seems that the Vietcong were lobbing mortar rounds their way.

She’ll probably tell you about a famous Paris club owner. "Freddie Carroll was very well-respected by men and women," Venus says. "She wore men’s suits and shoes and had a diamond pinkie ring. She put her hand out as soon as men came, and they would have men’s conversations. I was so fascinated with all that stuff."

And not every performer can boast of a command performance before the queen of Siam.

For the cabaret, Venus will have plenty of help.

"A lot of it I wrote — eight or nine pieces, something like that," she says. "Then Keith has some things in there."

That would be Keith Munslow, multi-instrumentalist, storyteller, and music director for the show. Venus glances around for a glimpse of his black leather jacket near the AS220 stage, where the cast is assembling for a rehearsal. Casey Seymour Kim is there speaking to some of them, having stepped forward to direct the cabaret so that Venus could turn her attention to her own numbers.

"I just passed my music around to whoever would fit it," Venus says, "and they all fit like a glove."

Kim is an actor and singer familiar to audiences recently from her boffo performance in the title role in Little Voice at the Gamm Theatre. She’ll probably be camping it up as Miss Pixie Feingold. There’s lots more talent to draw from. For example, Lawrence Nunes, whose recent song-and-poetry CD Hearts Unveiled Venus says she’s been listening to more often than to Ray Charles or Nat King Cole these days. Providence’s own Princess Pearl will do some comedy and maybe sing one of Venus’s songs. Other vocalists will include Denise Moffat and Maria Ventura.

There will also be hip-hop dancing by Project Heat and Alexandra Blackbird, and a traditional story from Mali, told by Mohamed Diakite. And much more.

Plenty of variety, in other words. Which certainly describes the long and action-packed life of Venus Irving-Prescott.

Born in Detroit but raised in Cleveland, as a 20something she made a splash as a cabaret singer, from Minsky’s in Chicago to the Savannah Club in the Big Apple. Career ups and downs included the requisite dark night of the soul in the New York theater district’s Actors’ Chapel, when she was 33. "I just sat there and tried to figure it out," she recalls. "I thought: ‘Well, did I step on any blue suedes on the way?’ Because at one time I had the Midas touch. What happened?" But she picked herself up, gathered her gumption and successfully stepped into the Paris cabaret scene. After that came Switzerland, Southeast Asia, and Australia.

Venus has seven grandchildren "and all kinds of great-grandchildren." She first came to Providence in 1981 to visit her daughter and has been based here ever since. One of her bread and butter mainstays is a business she developed called Show Polish, for which she checks out performers’ acts and suggests improvements.

The memoir she’s writing has a revealing title — Life Doesn’t Owe Me a Thing.

"In our culture we have people making megabucks, and they have platinum bling-bling all over them and they don’t even know whose shoulders they’re standing on, you know?" she laments. "Don’t even have a clue."

Venus shakes her head over encountering a young African-American student who didn’t know "Strange Fruit," the Billie Holiday song about lynching. The title is the name of a free performance Venus will give on March 17 at 7:30 p.m. in the University of Rhode Island Fine Arts Center, on the Kingston campus.

The lady does keep busy.

Issue Date: March 4 - 10, 2005

#Venus la doll #venus la ru #bronze goddess #black burlesque #burlesque #black girl magic

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heliads · 3 years

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Some Things Have To Be Said (Part Three)

When S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Y/N L/N is called to the S.W.O.R.D. encampment outside Westview because of her history working alongside Wanda Maximoff, she’ll have to face her past with Wanda and even a confrontation with the woman she loved.

previous / masterlist

You can only stare at her. Your blood feels like it’s freezing in your veins, slowing to a stop. The world crashes to a halt around you. After a long moment, you’re able to claw up the strength to form a single word. “What?” Wanda’s gaze doesn’t break. “Who are you?” She repeats, and the question still burns just as deep the second time.

“You don’t- you don’t know me?” Wanda shakes her head, the movement slow and unflinching. “Should I?” You blink, trying to regain any sense of clarity. “Yes. No. You did, once.” Wanda’s emotionless mask flinches once, and she tilts her head slightly to the side to consider you. “I did, didn’t I?” She looks deeply into your eyes, and you have that same sense of overwhelming scrutiny that you had felt before. Wanda must be reading your mind, but there seems to be something blocking her from looking too deeply, because she looks away after barely a moment has gone by.

“L/N. Agent L/N. If you’re with the government, why don’t I feel afraid of you? Something is telling me to trust you, but I don’t know why.” You feel a bitter smile creep onto your cheeks, lips tugged up at the sides. “It’s because I loved you.” Wanda nods once. “And me? Did I feel the same way about you?” You force yourself to keep a calm face, to not break down. “I don’t know. That’s why I came, to find out.”

Wanda furrows her brow. “Y/N. Your name was Y/N.” You incline your head. “We met a while back. I don’t know why you can’t remember me.” Wanda seems about to answer you, but then you hear the sound of shouting from across the town. It sounds like the cries of two young boys, and you realize it must be Wanda’s children.

Wanda appears to have come to the same conclusion and seems drawn towards the sound, but she forces herself to turn back to you, as if held in place by some anchor tying her to you. “I have to go.” You nod once. “I know. It’s alright.” Wanda’s eyes flicker up to you, and she places her palm lightly against your cheek. It barely touches you, but the sensation of her so close to you is spellbinding. “You need to be careful. There’s a woman here, Agatha. I don’t want you to get hurt.” You let your hand come to rest against hers, contact for just a second. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me.”

Wanda nods, takes in one quiet breath. “I’ll come back, Y/N. I promise.” You try for a smile. “I know you will.” Wanda hesitates one last second, as if drinking in the sight of you, then she finally pulls her hand away and hurries off down the sidewalk to help her children.

You’re left standing there, your own hand unconsciously rising to where hers had just left you. Your fingers feel cool against your cheek. Out of nowhere, a woman appears in the middle of the street, and walks until she’s shoulder to shoulder with you, both of you watching the place where Wanda had just been. You speak first. “You must be Agatha.” The woman leers at you, and you realize she was the strange neighbour from before, the one who had known your name.

Agatha’s voice is colder now that she’s dispensed with the ‘happy neighbour’ attitude. “And you’re Agent Y/N L/N of S.H.I.E.L.D. Don’t take Wanda’s lack of memory too personally, I’m afraid that was my fault. I needed her to completely fall apart so I could take her powers, and I knew she wouldn’t crumble as easily if she knew she had someone else waiting for her who wouldn’t vanish when her little suburban dream disappeared.”

You cut a glance over to Agatha. “So you took her memories of me?” She nods, shoulders lifting in triumph. “Had to be done. I’d tell you not to worry because the memories might come back, but I’m not even sure that will happen.” Agatha claps her hands together, suddenly purposeful. “Well, I’m off to rain destruction on your little friend. Stay out of my way, sweetie, or you’ll find yourself in more trouble than you can handle.” The words, spoken so carelessly, carry a far deeper threat than the seemingly innocent words would otherwise show.

In a heartbeat, Agatha vanishes, and you’re alone on the street once more. You glance around you at the houses nearby, and realize with a dull panic that Monica was supposed to be checking out Agatha’s house to find Wanda. Surely she would have heard the voices and come out, right? When you check around, you can’t find Monica anywhere, so you decide to enter Agatha’s house and try to find your friend. If you can’t help Wanda right now, you can at least try to get Monica out of Agatha’s control.

The door to Agatha’s house is unlocked, and you can hear a vague commotion going on upstairs. When you make your way up a flight of stairs and down a hall, you pause by a door leading to a bedroom. You can hear Monica’s voice coming from inside, so you try the doorknob but find it locked. From inside the room comes the sound of someone panicking, and they seem to be begging for their life. That does it- you back up a little, then run at the door and kick it down. Monica looks up at the sound of the door splintering open, and you find that she’s not alone- there’s another boy there, who looks like the new Pietro casting on Wanda’s show.

You raise an eyebrow. “Well, I was ready to join in the fight but it doesn’t look like you’ll be needing my help. Who’s he?” Monica gives one last look to the boy on the ground. “Ralph, apparently. I think Agatha put him under mind control to make him act like he was Wanda’s twin brother. Easier to recast than bring someone back from the dead.” You shrug. “I can’t argue with that logic. You want to come to the town center? I think some big fight is going on between Wanda and Agatha.”

Monica nods, and the two of you leave Agatha’s house, heading quickly towards the center of town. Sure enough, you see Wanda and Agatha hovering in the sky, exchanging blasts of magical energy. You also see Hayward and his S.W.O.R.D. reinforcements arriving to the scene, and tap Monica on the shoulder to point them out. “You see that? He’s still gunning for Wanda even though it’s obvious she’s not the villain anymore.” Monica frowns in determination. “He’s got a bigger hand in this than he’s letting on. Are you ready to help defend Wanda and her kids?” You grin, reaching for the gun at your belt. “I thought you’d never ask.”

At last, after days of research and planning and mind control, you’re finally back in your element. As Hayward’s reinforcements pour out of their armored vehicles, you take them down one by one, moving with the methodical grace of someone who was practically born for combat. It feels so freeing to be able to finally push everything out of your mind and just take down everyone in your path. A large part of your S.H.I.E.L.D. training was combat, so it’s nice to use that familiar skill set again.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Hayward training a gun at Billy and Tommy, Wanda’s kids. Your eyes go wide as you realize he’s prepared to shoot, and even as you race towards him, desperate to stop this, you already know you’re arriving too late. Luckily, Monica is there just in time, and stands in front of the boys to protect them from the bullets. To your shock, Hayward still fires, but the bullets pass harmlessly through Monica and fall to the ground.

Hayward seems just as surprised as you are, and races into an armored vehicle in an attempt to ram the twins and Monica. Just as he’s flooring the gas, though, a food truck of all things hurtles into the vehicle, crashing into it in a flurry of sparks and twisting metal. You realize with a grin that it was driven by Darcy, and sigh in relief to realize that your friend is alright.

You hurry over to Monica. “Okay, I knew about the glowing eyes, but the bullet trick was new. Very cool and very dangerous.” Monica purses her lips in thought, but she looks exhilarated by her new powers. “I know about the dangerous, but I’m not so sure about the other part.” You toss her a grin. “I’ve worked with the Avengers for a while, and I’ve seen a lot of powers. Trust me, that was very cool.” Monica laughs at that. “It is, isn’t it?”

You look up to see Wanda floating out of the sky towards her children, and turn away hurriedly, distracting yourself by running checks on your weapon so that Wanda won’t see you. Monica frowns at you. “Y/N, when I got my powers I could see into Wanda’s head for a little bit. I know she loves you, and I know how you feel about her. Why are you trying to hide from her?”

You look back at the retreating figures of Wanda, Vision, and the twins. “She only has so much time left with this family, I don’t want to mar any of it with thoughts of others.” Monica follows your gaze, watching them leave. “Does it hurt to see her with them?” You sigh quietly. “Yes and no. It hurt more before, but I know that I’ll be able to be with her again once she lets them go. I want her to have as much time with them as possible.” Monica nods, and puts a hand on your shoulder in comfort. “If you need anyone, you know you’ve got me, right?” You smile back at her. “I do. Thank you, Monica.”

A woman in a black suit comes up to Monica, asking for a word in private. Monica nods, then turns back to you. Both of you know that this is goodbye, that you won’t be meeting up again today, or even for a while. Your eyes warm as you take in the sight of your friend. “I’ll see you again soon. I have no doubt of that.” Monica smiles at you. “Good luck, Y/N. I hope you can make things work with her.” You nod goodbye, then she turns and walks away, following the woman into a movie theatre. You slip away from the crowd of agents, walking briskly into the fading light.

Wanda Maximoff is striding purposefully down the streets of Westview. She’s almost on the outskirts of town when she notices the parked car waiting at the far edge. A woman is leaning up against the car, staring up at the sky, although she straightens once she notices Wanda approach. “Need a lift?” Wanda’s eyes widen as she recognizes the woman. “Y/N?” She hurries over, wraps her arms around the other woman. Although Y/N has had years of training on managing her emotions, she still freezes slightly, surprised at the sudden contact.

Then a smile appears on her face. “You remember me?” Wanda nods. “I remember everything. Agatha’s spell fell apart once I took care of her.” Y/N nods, a warm happiness glowing in her eyes. “I knew you would.” Wanda looks over at her, face falling. “Y/N, about everything, I-” Y/N holds up a hand, cutting her off. “You don’t have to explain. I know. I’m just glad that you came back.” Wanda reaches out, takes Y/N’s hand. She stares at it for a second before finding the strength to continue speaking. “I knew I would, eventually. I don’t think I could ever really leave you.” Her voice falters for a second. “I love you, Y/N. I wish I told you that before.”

Y/N’s face lights up at that, even as she struggles to keep her emotions under control. “I love you too. Always have and always will.” Wanda runs her finger over Y/N’s knuckles absentmindedly, fingers trailing over the faded scars that line her palm. “Thank you for waiting.” Y/N inclines her head at that, then gestures towards the car. “Are you ready to leave?” Wanda takes one last look at the town of Westview, then opens the door and slides into the passenger seat. Y/N crosses around the front of the car, and Wanda watches as she swings her legs over into the driver’s side chair. They lock eyes for a second, both closer than they ever have been, and then Y/N speaks at last. “So, where to?” Wanda looks back over the road before them, eyes trained not on the town behind them but the journey ahead. “Home.”

Wanda is sitting on the porch of a cabin in the woods, dressed in a simple gray. The piercing whistle of a kettle echoes through the open door, and she stands to pour herself a cup. Wanda glances at a dusty clock resting on the mantle, then gestures lazily with a free hand. A portal appears in the space next to her, scarlet sparks flying off into nothingness. A woman in a black suit walks through the portal, trading the tall buildings behind her for the quiet of the cabin. A label is stitched in white over her coat pocket: S.W.O.R.D. Director L/N. A promotion after the success of a recent job.

Wanda smiles at Y/N, handing her a cup of tea. “How was work?” Y/N takes a sip of the beverage, savoring the warmth. “Pretty good. Only a couple of new crises, but it’s nothing we can’t handle.” She gestures with her chin towards the corner of the room, where a strange energy seems to hover in the air despite nothing being there to conduct it. “Have you learned anything new?” Wanda grins, a faint aura of power tugging at her lips. “You have no idea.”

tag list: @username23345

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uelden · 3 years

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Vanity Fair interview translated

Just a side note before the actual translation; I don't know why, but instead of reporting the full questions and answers in full as she should, the journalist decided to report only summarized fragments of what Måneskin said and patch these fragments up into messy clusters. She also worded a couple phrases in a very confusing way (and yes, she's fully Italian). In short, she did quite a poor job, so the final shape of the interview is not that good. I didn't expect top-tier journalism from Vanity Fair but ffs. You'll see what I mean.

I translated it as it is, adding just a couple footnotes to give you insight on Italian pop culture references.

Translation under the cut

Måneskin: "Different from whom?"

by Lavinia Farnese, 09 June 2021

"True justice is being judged for what you do and not for what you are." The ones who are convinced of this are Damiano, Victoria, Ethan and Thomas who, by being the emblem of a generation that is finally free, refuse labels and conformism. In life, in love and on the stage. Where, maybe precisely because of this, they're winning everything

With the still unexpected (first place at Sanremo Festival) and the incredible (triumph at Eurovision) in their eyes, Måneskin are on the sofa of the house-studio they rented - to resume writing songs and rehearsing them - like you are after a won battle: lying in a calm and unreal silence, alert and a bit irreverent, happy.

In the garden there's the tennis table and the pool, the light of summer when it's starting and calming the country all around, and it filters inside from the large windows, and it goes onto the shining black of Ethan's hair, which blends with Thomas' eye shadow and the butterfly he has tattooed oh his naked forearm, which completes the picture of Victoria's golden crucifix hanging between neck and tank top and ends on the black nail polish of Damiano's stretched hands.

It's a human fresco, a Theatre of wrath [translator's note: "Teatro d'ira"] - to call it with the title of their latest album, a platinum record already - where their flaunted 20 years of age, their irregular femininity and virility are grown into proud and challenging custom, a pop glam rock generational manifesto of hard-earned liberties in a finally-unconditional expression of the self.

To watch them from any angle and from another age is to think that a great love will be born in those who'll understand: this new way of being in the world, the true and sovereign realm they hold where "diversity=exceptionality", the power of the artistic and cultural revolution of which they are healthy carriers in establishing in all lyrics and gestures the right to live according to one's own nature past the "people (who) talk, the people (who) unfortunately talk, and don't know what the fuck they're talking about." [tn: "Zitti e buoni" lyrics]

We go where we're afloat, where the air isn't gone. [tn: journalist's own variation on "Zitti e buoni" lyrics]

Miley Cyrus says hi – The numbers of a phenomenon

"The streams of Zitti e buoni are growing by the second, and they bring us above Muse, at the top of English charts, twelfth in the Spotify Global Chart. Followers almost tripled, in the post-Rotterdam period (from 1,4 to 3,3 millions, ed.) Contagious and universal folly: t-shirts and merchandising sold out in 10 minutes. Like the records, the tickets for a tour that keeps adding dates and expanding over geographic maps. They're contacting us even from some festivals were The Rolling Stones went." Thomas

"After the pretextual controversy over cocaine that France built against us, later disproven by my drug test, some graffiti popped up in Spain depicting me as a “No drugs” poster guy. Some tweets made us laugh: "Congratulations, Italy! I've never been more certain that four people have had sex with each other." Miley Cyrus started following us -You're great. -You guys are greater." Damiano

From the garage to the stars – Story of a flight

"It was only 2016, and we played in restaurants, in the streets, in via del Corso. Damiano without even a microphone, Thomas' guitar with wonky strings, Ethan was drumming on a cajón. During Rome highschools' sit-ins (Kennedy, Virgilio, Mamiani) we had our first confirmations and half-hours of celebrity, playing among those who criticized us and those who went "wow they're really cool." One of the rare times when they would have paid us – 50 euros each – we gave the money to the next band in the lineup so that they would make us play in their spot, later in the day, when there would have been more people. We had already realized how things worked. Visibility mattered more than money. And we still think that." Victoria

The intimacy of rock – Choice of a genre

"Music allows us the miracle of extending to others some very personal and private topics, sometimes even difficult and thorny ones. They are and they remain deeply your own, but at the same time they become a confession that reaches a wider audience, and in this passage that is alike a delivery, they find a place in you as well, a processing of them. You overcome them, you accept them. One second it's something aggressive, the next it's a ballad. Cathartic». Damiano

Against panic – The stage as therapy

"I've suffered a lot from anxiety and panic attacks, it's an issue I've worked on thanks to a psychotherapy course, my friends and my family. Playing helped me in not letting myself be paralyzed by my fears, not making myself limited in my private and professional life. I've learned to accept, to live with this side of myself. I don't hide it. I don't feel ashamed of it." Victoria

Analysis as necessity – Relying on someone saves you

"This belief that only madmen go to the psychologist is a widespread ignorance. No-one's born learned. [tn: common Italian saying] And it's often hard to understand the very reason why we're here, let alone the origin and direction of our desires. It's a long and legitimate journey towards lucidity, a kind of backing to become transparent." Damiano

Being out of our minds – But different from them [tn: "Zitti e buoni" lyrics]

"When you feel a strong passion towards something that is not a canonical job but an artistic language, that already puts you on a level of anomaly, which is not superior or inferior to other people, but it puts you in the position of the one who breaks the mold and also works at a loss, the one who sustains great risks while trying to do something that who knows if it will take you anywhere. "Why do it if it doesn't pay?". You want to give this dream of yours an aesthetic, but it becomes "You're dressing so weird! You must be gay!" - now that I'm 22 I laugh about it, but when I was 17 it had an effect on me, too." Damiano

The beauty of uniqueness – Of believing in it and defending it

"And I mean, at the end of the day if we're all different it's not because we want be alternative but because, really, no-one is the same. Justice is being judged on what you do and not what you are. Justice is equality, respect, beauty." Ethan

Fluid sexuality – Pride is freedom

"Heels for men that like themselves in them, kisses among ourselves, we have an open, extended mind, and we're proud of it. The horizons become vast, past the oppression of conservative families. With the information on the web knowledge becomes greater and with it the possibility that minorities will be less and less minorities, because the majority will be less of a majority. This way we'll make insults and bullying grow quieter. If social media get to a village of 50 souls and reveal to a girl who's afraid of the dark that someone has felt her same fear, then there's no reason to give a name to that fear, to mark it with labels which also limit and restrict. Definitions always had this effect on me. You shouldn't even consider the gender when judging someone, let alone their orientation." Victoria

Sexism – A culture to be dismantled

"Emma [tn: Emma Marrone, Italian singer] drops the bomb: “At Eurovision when I was there they massacred me for a pair of shorts, while they said nothing to Damiano – bare-chested and in heels.” The easy judgment against women is more fierce, constant, debasing (if I have a lot of sex I'm cool while Vic is a whore, where I show myself strong I'm a leader while Vic is despotic and a pain in the ass who reached success because she's hot.) As a male I'm privileged, the abuse I get is not comparable to those a woman has to live through, the comments over my aesthetic are centered only on my aesthetic and don't insinuate anything about my professionalism and my competence, while women are victims of this kind of thought in a systematic way. It happened though to find myself standing with a woman who while pulling me to herself to take a selfie, started licking my face out of the blue... I mean, what the hell do you want? Who asked you? Consent exists, and it's due." Damiano

Grow yourself – The only commandment

"To me conformism is the opposite of education [tn: could also mean "politeness"] and is the asphyxia of expression. I fortunately never endured heavy bullying, heavy enough for the the judgement of others to change me. But the mold of the small crumbs of bullying I got and of the kind of aggression that scars is the same. If I'm a kid who dances and likes dolls you have to let me do what I like. I was a kid who wanted to keep his hair long and played with Barbie. As a teen, my friends looked at my hair: " You have to find a girl with short hair to be at your side." My grandparents took away my dolls: "Stop it, they're not for you." Ethan

"When I was six I was already sick of them, the distinctions between masculine and feminine. I've always had strong ideas about how I wanted to be. I refused things that were typically defined as girly, and all around me they mocked me because I went skateboarding, I played soccer, I didn't wear skirts, I was giving myself the chance to be as I wished. I endured it a little, I suffered a little, but I had courage, and now thanks to that courage I know that I could have gotten even much more hurt, otherwise I would have left to others the most important choice: the one about myself." Victoria

Love in progress – Music, girlfriends

"I've been married to music for the last 20 years. I can't wait to celebrate our golden wedding anniversary." Ethan

"Everyone makes their own experiences, sometimes it goes well, sometimes it goes wrong, but it's always not anybody's business." Thomas

"When I first felt feelings and attraction towards a girl it was a bit disorienting because I had never had the courage of going beyond the limitations I had put for myself. For society being heterosexual is the norm and so you often define yourself in that way automatically, depriving yourself of the freedom to live many shades and faces of love. Once I overcame the initial insecurity of having to call into question my certainties I've lived my sexuality in a very natural and free way, as it should be for everyone." Victoria

"I had paparazzi at my door every day and night. So, after four years of relationship, I revealed her name. I still have paparazzi at my door every day and nigh, but at least I don't have to hide anything anymore." Damiano

The worth of the group – Phenomenology of protection

"The true engagement though, the true family is among ourselves, our band. We've believed in it since day zero, even before we called ourselves Måneskin (Moonlight in Danish), even before Ethan drew a giant moon on the flier for the first concert we ever did. We share everything, even the pain for the tragedy of Seid Visin, who committed suicide at 20 because of racism. [tn: I think the journalist asked them their opinion about Seid Visin's death, which was a current events topic in Italy, and then pasted it syntaxically in the middle of Thomas' answer, which was not a great move] A group is what we all should be: stay united and not back down an inch in the face of oppression that is generated by a distorted view of diversity." Thomas

I'm not of the right age – Like Gigliola [tn: Gigliola Cinquetti won Eurovision with her song "Non ho l'età", which means "I'm not of the right age"]

"Before you the only one who won both Sanremo and Eurovision on the same year was Cinquetti (1964). If there's anything I feel I'm not of the right age for? No, honestly no. Maybe having children. Regarding children I'll be honest: I'm not of the right age." Damiano

Having touched the sky – The fears that remain

"We're more than inside the dream, we're in the conquered dream. When you fly high there's the risk of plummeting and hurting yourself, but we'll work hard not to end up like Icarus, who burns his wings with the sun. Everything is in our hands. And this - a bit pretentiously - reassures us rather than scaring us." Damiano

#maneskin #måneskin #vanity fair #italian #translation

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calehenituseappreciation · 3 years

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Ive seen a lot of Dream (and usually Techno and Phil too) as gods au (i have one too dw) but all of you are sleeping on the funniest option.

Tommy is the god.

Tommy.

hes the only one in that galaxy (other than drista ofc)

Just imagine how fucking funny it is like

it would be so fucking hilarious

and tommy just doesnt tell them

so techno is just there making all these blood god jokes and jokingly telling tommy to serve him and tommys just laughing

imagine a god in the form of a chaotic 16 year old racoon gremlin just walts into your land commits arson and gets banned, only to come back with another person who he helps start a nation for drugs?

imagine how fucking funny it is

just

imagine tubbo banning a literal god from his lands and he just doesnt come back? he just plays by the rules? then goes and like sits in the corner all sad because some humans/dreamons told him to leave

ranboo, just joining the server: hi- a chaotic gremlin god: wanna commit arson with me? ranboo, just trying to vibe and maybe not disturb this god: sure

Phil and Ranboo recongnize Tommy as a god on sight.

Everyone else just refuses to believe it. hes Tommy. Tommyinnit. hes just weird lol

And Drista being a fucking chaotic blood god?

drista is open about her godhood and does not hesitate to spawn blocks

Drista finds Dream and decides she likes this small human, and dream just has to deal with it lmao.

drista and tommy are both born at the same time.

Tommy is a god of music, chaos, war and theivery (the last one bc he is a BITCH)

Drista is the blood god, chaos, deception, and theatre

okay but imagine the sbi interactions... like ig in this au tommy joins at like 12/13 years of age (in their minds) so he doesnt really grow much

and like tommy, a literal god, just claiming phil as his father???

phil, in his house making eggs, assuming one of his sons woke up and came to the kitchen, not looking: hey son tommy, from their couch, already deciding hes phils son now: whats up dad? phil: looks up at tommy who are you tommy: idk dad, who am i phil: *stares at tommy for a second* eh i made extra eggs you can stay

ASJIDGASUIOG IMAGINE TOMMY TELLING THEM HES A GOD BUT THEY THINK HES JOKING AND IGNORE HIM

everyone on the server: tommy is the youngest! tommy, as old as the universe: no im not!!!! im not a child!!!! he doesnt pout because pouting is for children and hes not a child but hes pouting tubbo: lol im older than you by a month tommy dont try to hide it tommy: im not a child!!!! techno: laughs

tommy doesn't try to hide that hes a god just its tommy

thats all the evedince anyone needs to think tommy isnt a god or powerful its like mcc hes good but only when he doesnt throw for content

quackity: sees drista written in bedrock lmao drista visited? tommy: yeah! i wrote that for her! quackity: snorts yeahhhh sureee tommy

imagine like how fucking funny it is jsut like

a fucking chaotic god breaks into your house androbs you makes a room under your house and decides to live in your floorboards

imagine dream like trying to manipulate tommy, and tommy a fucking anchient diety immeditly recongnizes what hes doing

but decides to play along for the angst and giggles and then actually gets mad when no one fucking cares for his theatrics

tommy, storming off to technos base to rob and build under: >:///// cant believe none of them acknoledged my deppression

i love that tommy stills robs everyone, he doesnt need to he can spawn in anything he wants

he just does it for the sport of robbery

JAKOGFSDOH

THE HOLY LAND

dream: im god actually tommy: thats so fucking funny lets make a cult about that :) dream: see! look! im god! and jesus! tommy: wheezing

imagine tommy getting stressed and letting go of his mortal form

Tommy, his human form peeling away, showing his actual form a bit: WH̸͘A͠T̷ ̶̢T͞H͢E ̡͘F̴̵͘Ù̧C͜K҉ ̶T͘͜͞E͟CHǸ͏Ǫ Techno: HAH?

tommy just saw tubbo and got emotionally attached

Tommy, a literal god: hello Tubbo: oh hi do you like my pet bee? Tommy: you’re mine now Tubbo: im okay with this

tommy, a bored god: gives techno shapeshifting powers techno, not even caring: changes into more human to pig-ishg forms as he wishes this is my life now ig

phil lets tommy do fuck all in exile bc he knows hes a god hes fine

phil: IDC IF YOURE A GOD! YOU WILL DO THE DISHES NOW YOUNG MAN! tommy: grumbles but does them

phil is the only one who can control tommy

god... tommy... with star freckles... on his human form... (as well as his god one)

tommy: f̷͛͠a̵̋t̵̒̑h̸̚e̶̓͝r̸͊ ̸̐̒i̴ ̸̅̿d̷̉͆o̵͂͋ ̵̛̆ñ̸̾ő̶́t̸̎́ w̶͆͘i̴͠s̵̓̈́h̸͗́ ̵̯͗f̶͋́ő̴͑r̷̐̌ ̶͝é̵̽g̸͊͂g̵̒s̷͂̃ phil: idc, eat your goddamn eggs tommy: pouts

tommy, despite being able to get supplies himself by fucking spawning them in: hey tubbo? we need supplies

In this au ig like if a god claims you you get a mark on your skin showing that. Drista’s would be like a green crown, Tommys would be a red and white disk (white as the outer ring and red as the center) (its different enough that if you don’t realise tommy is a god you wouldnt realise whos it is) (schlatt is the only one who never had one which shoulda been a sign dude :/)

Dream has two from the beginning, everyone else has only one, well until they meet drista. (sbi have had one since they met tommy, though they dont remember the first time they met tommy)

wait what if tommy like found them all as children one by one and later kinda pulled some strings to get them all in one kingdom. (he still joined sbi through forcing phil to adopt him)

OKAY BUT IMAGINE IF TOMMY MET TECHNO WHEN TECHNO WAS YOUNG ENOUGH TO NOT REMEMBER

tommy would hang out with baby techno and tell him stories

once he told him the story of a man named thesus

another time he told him the story of a blood god

like for example tommys first time meeting techno would be like

(for context techno lived in a shitty village and was an orphan and it was kinda a dog eat dog place, he learned how to be strong because of it)(he was young enough that he doesn’t remember this well, just like learning about the blood god and someone giving him gold)

baby techno: sighs tommy, appearing out of nowhere: oh heyyy whyre you sad? techno: jumps turning around with a knife up ready for a fight who are you tommy: im tommy! :) techno: what do you want from me! you dont scare me! tommy: whats your name! techno: i have a knife! i'll use it! tommy: of course, thats a given, but its rude not to tell people your name techno, confused: t-technoblade? tommy: smiles thats a nice name techno: so. tommy: hm? techno: why're you here tommy: i don't have a reason. im just a traveller! techno: then why hole to this terrible village! theres nothing nice here! everyone is terrible and so are you! tommy: hmmmm i dont agree techno: what are you? a child? i thought adults were supposed to know that everyone is mean tommy: mmhmm looks at the bruise on technos face where'd you get that? techno: fight. i won. i'll win against you too! so don't try anything. tommy: of course. i would never win in a fight against a blood god techno, putting down his knife a bit, stars in his eyes: blood god? tommy: grins blood. god. i think she'd like you. techno, muttering: maybe i can give the blood god some of your blood tommy: laughs yeah, she'd defenitly find you intresting tommy: here tosses techno a golden crown at techno, he spawned it in in the moment techno: whats this? tommy: a crown, thought it suit you screams in the distance tommy: huh. i need to go. have fun lil piglin. ruffles technos hair before running off towards the screaming unbeknownst to the pig the blood god was actually the one waiting for the god he met. techno: stares at the crown

Techno found a pouch of gold in his ‘house’ later that day. he didnt know who left it but it helped him get food for that night. (he kept the crown)

okay but imagine tommy not taking the war seriously at all, and only seeing it as a squabble between mortals, Like toddlers fighting

dream: SURENDER BY TOMMOROW OR WE'LL DECLARE WAR! wilbur: FUCK YOU WE'LL NEVER SURENDER AND JOIN YOUR SMP! Tommy: how cute

tommy doesnt realise that theyre serious until wilbur dies

tommy would usually go apeshit against anyone who dares messes with his humans, but what is he supposed to do when his humans are fighting Eachother?

wilbur: fucking goes insane and dies tommy: hey- hey can you guys let me talk to wil for a sec? everyone else leaves tommy, unsually somber: sorry i didnt help you i forgot how easily breakable mortals are tommy: this time you wont die, and i'll make it so that you dont break again, okay? tommy: brings wilburs soul out of its body and enters his mindscape ghostbur: wakes up what- where am i? tommy: hi there ghostbur: who are you tommy: i go by a lot of names all, one, you, the world, the universe, god, but you can just call me tommy ghostbur: oh okay. who am i? tommy: you're name was wilbur soot. you were the son of philza minecraft and brother to Technoblade, Tubbo and myself. ghostbur: was? tommy: well you see, you died. ghostbur: oh... well what am i then? tommy: a ghost! well actually its your choice. would you like to continue your existance or fade away with your body? ghostbur: i dont want to fade away! tommy: smiles thats what i thought you'd say stretches his hand to wilbur ghostbur: grabs tommy hand tommy: lets go home

ghostbur doesnt remember that though

he only remembers the good

tommy wont let him remember the bad, what if he breaks again? mortals are so fragile

phil realises what tommy did as soon as he sees ghostbur

drista, painting tommys nails (there both in god form btw) (after wilburs death btw): tommy shouldn't you of all gods realise how fragile they are? tommy: i know just... forgot drista: sighs and nods i get what you mean, especially with the ones we found... they act a lot like gods sometimes i forgot they arent tommy: ikr? wait- drista here gets drista's hair out of her face you were gonna get it on my nails, anyways, don't judge me. we all know if dream died you would turn him into a ghost too drista: smirks not if you do it first, we all know you would tommy: you say that as if you wouldn't fight me to do it first drista: .... tommy: ... drista: both of us when he dies? tommy: nods tommy: anyways my turn to do your nails

or like tommy with ghostbur like

ghostbur: i don't like this :( tommy, a worried brother and god: whats wrong? ghostbur: everyone is mad at me and i d-dont know why- why are they mad at me tommy: theyre mad at something alivebur did ghostbur: b-but im not alivebur sniffs it hurts. i dont like it. tommy: spawns in some blue here ghostbur: whats that? tommy: its some blue! it'll help you not hurt anymore! ghostbur: how does it work? tommy: see how its blue? ghostbur: nods tommy: well its blue because it sucks up all the bad feelings! it'll help ghostbur: !!!!! ghostbur: presses the blue into his chest ghostbur: !!!!its working!!!! :D tommy: smiles good

wilbur fucking died and tommy went from annoying little brother to caring older brother

tommy just wants to help his brother :) though he doesnt realise that not letting ghostbur remember bad memories isnt good

*at logsted shire btw* ghostbur: who are you? tommy, chuckling: did you forget me already ghostbur? ghostbur: i didnt forget you! i think! you're tommy! i just... you're different tommy, looks over at ghostbur: different how? ghostbur: you're not normal are you? tommy: grins whaaaaat? you think im weirdddd? how heartbreaking... my own brother thinks im weird, this is terrible ghostbur: giggles tommy: but really, don't worry about it bur. ghostbur: you sure? tommy: yeah, dont worry about me ghostbur: smiles okay! do you want some blue anyways? tommy: giggles sure! ghostbur: grins

ghostbur isnt worried about tommy

he knows hes strong

phil having to tell tommy that he cant just not let wilbur remember the bad memories

and tommys like "what if he breaks again!" and phil hugs him and tells him to at least ask ghostbur if he wants to remember and tommys like ‘fine’

tommy: hey bur? ghostbur: yeah? tommy: do you like you're memories? ghostbur: i mean, yeah its hard not to when you only remember the good tommy, quietly: would you want to remember the bad? ghostbur: w-what brought this question on tommy: answer the question ghostbur: no- alivebur was badi shouldn't want to- tommy: but what do you want bur? wilbur, silent for a moment: yeah- yeah i do. not that i like the bad memories! they hurt... but i wish i could remember tommy: ... ghostbur: hey tommy? tommy: yeah? ghostbur, with tears in his eyes: do you think they'd be less mad at me if i could remember, maybe then i could repair my relationships, what the hell am i supposed to do when i dont even remember hurting them? tommy: what if they dont? what if you break again? ghostbur, saltily: we'll maybe i'll be able at least be able to say i know why everyone hates me tommy: i know how to get all of your memories back ghostbur, looks towards tommy in shock: you do??? tommy: nods ghostbur, voice wavering: for how long tommy: since the beginning ghostbur: and you didnt tell me tommy: i did what i thought was best. i just didnt want you to hurt anymore. ghostbur, angrily: WELL THAT CLEARLY WORKED DIDNT IT? tommy: sorry wilbur, sometimes i forget how to handle humans ghostbur: what- tommy: sighs and taps ghostbur on the forehead and ghostbur does the ghost equivilent of passing out tommy: wont hide any memories this time

ghostbur doesnt wake up, instead wilbur wakes up weither thats good or bad we'll see

wilbur, waking up with all his memories: HOLY SHIT TOMMY WASN'T KIDDING phil, who was reading beside the bed tommy placed wilbur into, which was in technos house. yes he broke into technos house with a passed out wilbur. move on.: hm? wilbur: holy shit phil: huh? yeah. wilbur: wait you knew? phil: yeah i recongnized him as soon as i saw him about 5 years ago now? wilbur: excuse me while i freak out because my little brother is an actual god

it really hits wilbur that tommy is a god later

wilbur: hey tommy? tommy: yeah? wilbur: how fucking old are you? tommy: snorts of course thats the first thing you ask wilbur: well? tommy: i dont really know the exact years since years are kind of a human thing that were invented recently wilbur: they were invented thousands of years ago- tommy: but it was around the beginning of this galaxy wilbur, softly: what the fuck

tommy telling wilbur stories about different heros and villains and different humans he met during his life.

Adsjbffsg what if Tommy made himself blonde and blue eyed and white bc thats hyow the first human he met looked like asjfhsd

and just didnt change that, despite meeting new humans, its just his defult settings.

he would totally do this tho im crying.

drista just based her human form off dream because she is his sister now. he must deal with this. trying disowning me when i look like you BITCH.

thats my take anyways later might continue this

#tommyinnit #dsmp #dream smp #drista #god au #technoblade #wilbur soot #ghostbur #dreamwastaken #tubbo #philza minecraft #long post #just needed to say this

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