#like why else would i say it

[thedreadvampy]

Losing my shit about this article in which a transphobic Tory was so busy panicking about existing in the vicinity of a Trans that she almost certainly misheard "jeans" as "penis" and decided that not only was this a problem with the other woman, but also that the world must be informed of this pressing danger.

"a trans woman! I had to stand directly behind her....I thought, 'this is going well', I'm handling The Situation fine'..."

translated: I saw a tall woman with broad shoulders. How would I get out of this alive? I thought. she has a PENIS. PENIS PENIS PENIS. through some force of PENIS I mean will I managed to PENIS behave normally towards her. My hands were PENIS PENIS PENIS shaking as I tried to dry them. summoning up all my PENIS courage I said 'dryer's crap innit'. she turned to me and said " yeah I'm just goiPENIS PENIS PENIS"

It's been a week and I'm still shaking. This proves trans women are the problem and I'm not weird. I'm fine. It's fine. If you think about it I'm the hero hePENIS!!!!!

very this

#red said #it's just. I'm obsessed. #everyone on Twitter is saying 'never happened' and i think they're wrong #this absolutely did happen and she's been obsessing over how vindicated it made her feel enough to WRITE AN ARTICLE ABOUT IT #because she MISHEARD SOMEONE IN A CASUAL CONVERSATION #i lay out my reasoning thusly: if you were INVENTING a scary trans woman in bathroom story out of nothing. why would it be this? #why would you go with 'we had a banal conversation until she said a sentence that makes no sense and that no human has ever uttered #but which does coincidentally sounds almost exactly like a mishearing of a very NORMAL thing to say in the circumstances #then she left and nothing else occurred' #if you were going to INVENT a story you would probably make it MAKE SENSE or SOUND THREATENING #i truly believe this is a very authentically told account of what she thinks happened #because who would. by means other than mishearing. think 'I'm going to wipe my hands on my penis' makes any sense at all. #a) 'I'm going to dry my hands on my genitals' says the presumably fully clothed woman #b) who then proceeds to leave without doing anything threatening #c) WHO SAYS PENIS THREATENINGLY? sorry it's writing out 'penis' repeatedly that made this jump out to me but like. who says that? #you might hear someone talk casually about their dick or cock but i stg it's only doctors and TERFs who casually use the word penis much #it's so. clinically descriptive. it's a weird use of language. but it IS. something you could plausibly mishear from 'pants' or 'trousers'

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Do you like sci-fi and indie animation? Check out Monkey Wrench!

#monkey wrench #digital art #This series is very delightful and also in need of more attention! #Usually I would ramble about why love it - however I am going to go a little off the rails and talk about something else. #Namely that this is a gift for a very dear friend who loves this series a lot! One of my favourite people of all time! #Thank you for so many things. For keeping me going when times are dark. For sticking by in the hard times. #Thank you for the incredible soup and the fun moments! For the great recommendations on series. #I sometimes feel like I should thank the universe for letting our paths cross when they did. #It feels cheesy to say all this but I really am such a better person because of you. #Thank you for reading all my silly comics even though you have *no* idea what is going on in them. It means a lot. #My gift of a silly doodle and hopefully getting a few people to check out this show is not adequate to express my gratitude. #But hey - we've got the rest of our lives to keep saying thank you. #Love you lots mate. Can't say it enough B'*)

[miwtual]

im so fucking tired of the disrespect gifmakers get on the gifmaker website

#kai.txt #negativity tw #(sorry these are gonna be a lot of tags. i have a lot of feelings and i dont know where else to put them) #we make gifs and nobody reblogs them #when they do get reblogged all people want to tell you is that your gifs arent good enough to them and rip it to shreds #'you're missing x' 'why didnt you do y' 'if i made this i would have abc' 'hey op ur wrong and this is why' 'i dont like this op' #reposters dont even reblog your fucking gifset but they'll save your gifs to repost later asking for how to do something #that they could have asked you how to do in the fucking first place #we reblog ourselves constantly because nobody else will and maybe to make our work look like it has more notes than it does #to make ourselves feel better about the lack of interaction we're getting #and then when we TALK about this frustration we have. people who are too afraid to say it to our faces #go on anon in our askboxes and tell us how we're somehow selfish for wanting people to interact with the sets #that we spent time on. hours. days. WEEKS in some cases #or we get anons who tell us the reason we dont have notes are because we arent good at gifmaking in the first place #but this is all on anon. because they're too scared to tell it to our faces #they're too scared for us to see that they ARENT a gifmaker and that they dont know how to do it any better either #they dont see us as people doing something we love as a hobby. they see us as content machines that dance like court jesters #im just so fucking tired of the disrespect #and this sentiment goes for more than just gifmakers. graphicmakers. artists. literally any creative hobby shared on this site #we get treated like shit and for what? literally for fucking what.

[s0fter-sin]

i need ghoap frantically making out against a door finally taking the leap on their feelings. need ghost grinding against soap, expecting to find him just as hard as him, only to feel nothing

and in all his wisdom and experience, he concludes soap was tortured and never told him

he’s trying to think of a delicate way to say he understands, that he’s been through it and it doesn’t change anything about how he feels (and who the fuck touched him so he can hunt them down and rend them limb from limb)

meanwhile trans!soap’s just trying to find the best angle to grind his cunt on ghost’s thigh

just it never even entering ghost’s head bc he’s never known a trans person but he has met plenty of people who’ve been tortured - himself included - so of course that’s his logical leap

soap takes off his shirt and he sees his top surgery scars and ghost asks if he wants him to kill the one who did it and soap just hums like, “actually, man did pretty good, they healed real well,” and ghost’s just teary-eyes with awe at how well he’s coping, “looking on the bright side, that’s my johnny.”

imagine he thinks johnny was fully castrated but sees he’s determined to still have a sex life with him so he buys packers and straps to help him bc hell yeah healing and soap’s just like, “holy shit i’ve never had such a thoughtful partner before, such a sweet man, lt.”

#he a little confused but he got the spirit #its so good bc it can be super angsty of ghost really dreading whats been done to his sergeant and trying to make it right #or just go full crack treated seriously and have fun with it #i love just completely oblivious ghost #in any military context hes the smartest guy in the room #he always knows the play and has more experience than anyone #but stick him in the normal world? man is Lost #ghost just thinks hes had some kind of reconstruction surgery after being tortured and accepts thats what johnny looks like #bc hes never seen a pussy before #it takes years for soap to actually come out to him bc he just never thought to #hes seen him naked theyve literally slept together what else is there for him to say #then he shows him like a family album or something and ghosts just like ‘why arent you in any of these i only see girls’ #and he just goes ‘hang on a second’ #soap gets one of his sporadic periods one night and panics a little thinking it would weird ghost out or remind him that hes not cis #but ghost just thinks its a normal part of such a thorough reconstruction that hed bleed sometimes #and doesnt question it when soap grabs a pad out of his drawer bc ‘thats such a good way of handling the discharge my johnnys so smart’ #just really supportive ghost for the wrong reasons #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #we’re a team. ghost team #soapghost #ghostsoap #simon ghost riley #ghost cod #john soap mactavish #soap cod

[jaysworlds]

hello mcr girlies. which mcr song is YOUR song i mean like 'this song gets me like no one else has ever got me this is the greatest piece of music ever to be created etc etc etc' the song no one understands like you understand.

i'll go first. mine is Summertime

#and i was at the one uk show they DIDNT play it cries. though tbf not the end of the world #i would have SOBBED #and smudged my cool eyeliner #anyway transsexuals you are NOT allowed to say mama. that is OUR song #(im kidding. pick whichever song lives rent free in your heart) #mcr #mcr summertime #my chemical romance #rb game #yes i did post this while listening to summertime and feeling like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. why do you ask #ALSO also if anyone else tags this with summertime either we have to fight to the death or make out sloppy style #those be the rules

[tippenfunkaport]

That viral post that's going around about how people who write "book quality" mlm fic are too "normal" to publish and have real jobs so only "weird" people publish their "shitty" fanfic is so completely out of touch with reality and I am giving a massive side eye to everyone reblogging it.

Not only is it completely, easily verifiably untrue (you cannot enter any professional writing space without tripping over a dozen grizzled scifi writers who got their start by filing off the serial numbers and publishing their Star Trek fanfic even going back decades ago??? it's a whole thing?? plus how can you look at the mlm category on Amazon right now and say with a straight face that people aren't publishing shitty Spirk and Stucky fanfic??? Oh, honey...) it's also the perfect example of this kind of sneering elitism that true artists would never sully themselves by seeking profit, they do it only for the purity of the thing that always somehow leads back to, "no one should be paid to make art, actually."

The only reason you're seeing more published fanfic right now has nothing to do with the idealistic purity of your hypothetical government employee written smut of the past vs the debased scribbles of those awful straights of today and everything to do with the fact that a) self-publishing has created a voracious readership that wants a ton of content so it's become a viable, flexible income stream for many, especially disabled people b) anyone can publish now with self-publishing tools so there are less gatekeepers and c) lockdown got a lot of people into fandom and therefore writing who never tried it before.

And if you really think there's no "shitty" published mlm and no "book-quality" m/f writing out there that started as fanfic, then you are clearly not a reader so why are you even talking about this?

#love how they manipulated people into spreading that post by making it seem like a cishet vs gay thing #when the real message is OP thinks trying to sell your writing is cringe and 'weird' and 'normal people' with jobs would never #which would of course never have flown on the fandom website #so they played into the queer shipping is purer than cishet shipping puriteen thing #and it worked! #because my god people are gullible #this is the direct pipeline that leads to AI thievery #''normal' people write for the joy of it anyway so why do you need pay? you are just greedy and 'weird'!' #'oh no this isn't about who we get to call cringe and who gets to profit from art it's about um... #(quick what's a hated m/f ship?).. oh uh 'shitty' REYLO #and not our super pure uh... (spirk is still popular right? lets throw in that avengers one too to make it seem timely) stucky!' #I'm sorry if I have no sense of humor about this but the year is 2024 and people are still way too ready to sneer #about writers trying to earn a fucking living in the shittiest timeline #and i need you to look deep into yourself and ask you why it's so important to you to tell yourself that only people writing what you like #are 'normal' with real jobs and to vilify everyone else as 'weird' and 'shitty' #for trying to make an income during a financial fucking crisis #i would say sorry for ranting about this but I'm not sorry because wtf #write whatever you want #publish whatever you want #there is no moral fucking purity in what the content is #and one thing certainly doesn't make you more 'weird' or 'normal' than the other #like there is soooo much shitty mlm that started as fanfic??? #that post is 100% OP made up some guys to get mad about and called them relyos for the clicks #writing #publishing #writblr #writeblr #i wasn't going to tag this anything but you know what fuck it I'm mad #i had like 5 more tags but tumblr cut me off which is fair 😅 #fan fiction

[harbingersecho]

they had to pause their morning workout to drive wash to the ER at 7 am bc he somehow got hit by a car while getting mail. there's traffic. maine fiddles with the radio and carolina is imagining herself parkouring over the other cars

#rvb #red vs blue #maine #wash #carolina #agent washington #agent maine #agent carolina #mine #*24 #i just saw that image again and wanted to redraw it and this concept just manifested itself #i lost the og ref photo but its the one w/ the big beefy guy and the blonde woman + they both got tits. if u don't know it dw lol #also in a modern au carolina has like a subaru or a honda civic and it's teal. she's the only one of the blues who even has a car #tex had a motorbike. no one else in blue team even has a license except wash but he doesn't actually have a car he just needed a license #but the blues are like 'we never even fucking go anywhere why would we pay all the car insurance shit + parking' #if they rly need to they can just bum a ride from someone or wash can rent a car or whatever #carolina will only drive them (she doesn't trust wash not to crash) in an absolute emergency bc they made fun of her car saying #it's a PTA mom car and she's petty. if youre not gonna die she doesn't care

[renshengs]

pointing at tim drake every time he shows up anywhere like "this is my perfect special boy he has 1000 mental illnesses and 50000 instances of unresolved trauma and he is being so cool and calm and collected about all of it. he has never had a normal thought or experienced a normal emotion his entire life."

#tim: i'm acing this shit #everyone else: tim when was the last time you like. sat down and relaxed #tim: haha why would i do that when there's so much to be done all the time and i need to be on top of everything that has ever happened #tim drake #sheng says stuff #dc

[nounaarts]

"Macaque, you're you! The real you!"

"The only me!"

So let it be known I love Sonicc >:)

#has anyone else seen sonic prime? #season 2 was so good omg #i have a bunch of screenshots i plan to redraw with lego monkies and kids #hehe #yknow how this one would be in a scenario? #imagine like an au where wukong was trapped in Macaque's shadow portals and kept encountering his shadow clones #and the moment he finds the real him in there he runs to hug him saying “I finally found you!” #shadowpeach ugh #i hate them #(i love them) #sonadow too #man why were they so gay #lmao #lmk #lego monkie kid #lego monkey kid fanart #monkie kid #macaque #lmk six eared macaque #sun wukong #lmk macaque #lmk monkey king #shadowpeach #sonic prime #sonadow #au idea maybe? idk #art #nounaarts

[gummi-ships]

Kingdom Hearts - Traverse Town Hotel

#kingdom hearts #kh1 #traverse town #scenery #my gif #the pamphlets at the front counter say the hotel is holding a multicultural art exhibit #which is why each room looks so uniquely designed #the red and green rooms are very detailed and fun to look at which always made me sad that the other doors were locked #was anyone else so curious about what the ocean themed room would have looked like? i wanted to go in there so bad #it would also be cool to see what was through the door behind the front counter since the manager speaks from behind the curtain

[tariah23]

One of the main reasons why I used to avoid Isekai’s, and fantasy works in general, like the plague is because of how over saturated they’d become with things that didn’t feel like they even belonged to the genre to begin with… it’s not too hard to find works that stand out but so much of those works have been pushed down and forgotten, it just sucks.

#one of the many reasons why fantasy in general outside of a few things has never stuck with me or have even been a go to genre to engage #with if it was simply just that and nothing else added to subvert the genres 🧍🏾‍♀️ #at least enough for me to enjoy myself… and I’m an insanely picky person too so… #isekai’s really did get turned into incel shit and sm of them are pedo/incest pandering as well #the amount of times I’ve run into an isekai where the warrior ends up marrying his daughter at the end of the series- #never got over that one where the son was falling in love with his mom bro that series could’ve been so fun #and a lot of the scenes with them would have them almost appearing as though they were a couple… the Romantic scene on the beach 💩… #kms rn- #and sm fantasty stuff is full of assault as well because they want to be like berserk so badly uhhh #it’s kinda crazy #rambling #I’m mostly desensitized to a lot of this stuff in fiction depending on how they’re presented but I usual usually scroll by/read the things #as quickly as possible just to get done with it #I don’t rly skip most things tbh :( #DM is refreshing though it’s very charming and colorful #I don’t have much to say for frieren since I never really cared to get into it but I’m sure it’s endearing for most

[front-facing-pokemon]

#salamence #THIS one is a good one. someone else mentioned the chin and claimed they look like lord farquaad. and would say “why YES this is Divine” and #i didn't like how accurate that was. anyway dragon/flying 4x weakness to ice my belovèd. if anyone says ice is bad #keep in mind how much of the competitive landscape it totally nullifies. ice is like. probably my second favorite type. behind electric #even though none of this is about salamence. they've got the whole primary colors thing going on but minus yellow #red and blue. red white and blue. american pokémon? big red wings that're just Flat. i really dunno what's happening here i just know it's #supposed to be really good in competitive. and also they got a paradox form which i Guess TPC is trying to market as totally new unrelated #pokémon but i'm always going to call them “paradox hariyama” and such instead of ~iron hands~ or whatever they're supposed to be called #don't want my pokémon names to have two words in them……

[bleh1bleh2]

Bonus:

#did anyone else have an outsider phase in middle school. or was that just me #anyways hunk and pidge figured out how to watch earth movies #or specifically the outsiders. whichever is funnier #i just think that imagining keith as a greaser is so fucking funny #like sure. the clothes would fit his character #but the slicked back greased up hair with keiths mullet????? comedy gold #voltron #also if you couldnt tell i just rewatched the outsiders #that movie is so so so funny to me #there are some Transitions that are so bad theyre good #and the fact that the plot makes no sense unless youve read the book? why did they do that #also they say 'man' over 50 times in that movie #with dally saying over half even though hes barely there #(fun fact from middle school me) #my art

[starflungwaddledee]

Bandee and Starstruck 🎀💖

starting off my february starstruck dee ship-a-ganza with the big one. they do seem like... the obvious answer, huh...?

they have far and away the most development together and the strongest personal relationship, both in what i've posted, and in her story overall! would kill or die for each other in a heartbeat. i would be absolutely lying if i said i'd never thought about it, but i'm not 100% convinced my thoughts lead me to romance specifically...

they're already pretty insane about each other! starstruck in particular is madly in love with bandee in every way it's possible to be. loves him the way he loves kirby, i think (pretty sure he does not know this. might be shocked to learn it.)

however she's daft as bricks, so he'd have to initiate, and i can't really imagine anything in their relationship would change.... so he'd have to mostly want The Title or the Performance one way or another, and i'm not super sure he would!

#so... this comic is canon to her storyline and is meant to be read as platonic friendship for now! #but i'd be v interested to hear anyone else's thoughts on this pairing in particular!! COULD it be romo??? like.. sure! but how? #i think it would be super cute. but HOW?? i'm just kinda stuck. they're already nuts about each other. what else is there? qpp maybe. #loves him the way he loves kirby. devoutly. viscerally. #the spot carved out of your heart that's just the right size. pulse beating someone else's tune. it's not your palm you know best. #do you get what i'm saying. someone please read these tags and respond i gotta know i'm not the only one #'starflung is all your prose like /that/' yeah sorry. and this is why i don't share my writing lmao. pretentious loser #starstruck dee #bandana waddle dee #my art #my comics #🎀💖

[shigayokagayama]

the real villain of mob psycho is that random claw goon who spread that rumor about shou being an artificial esper and confused the fandom for years. like i cant even blame people for "shou is an artificial esper" theories some guy just says it and we have to intuit that he just made that shit up by the fact that it never comes up again

#i have a theory that one was originally going to make shou an artificial esper then changed his mind #bc like why else would you have someone say that then just pretend it didnt happen #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #shou suzuki

[worstloki]

AU where Loki doesn’t interfere with Thor’s banishment at all and it takes Thor years to prove himself worthy and when he returns to Asgard everything is just. The same. Nothing seems to have changed at all and everyone greets him like his absence was a minor obstacle that didn’t fundamentally change Thor and the worst part is Loki stepped down from the place as regent without any delay and Thor can’t help but feel there’s something underlaying the way his brother looks at him now and won’t let him touch him and Thor doesn’t know what he could have missed because he doesn’t think he would have found anything wrong with the things around him and how everyone behaves if he hadn’t spent time on Earth reflecting.

#the warriors 4 not being interested in anything Thor ‘learnt’ at all #and making it clear that Thor was punished unfairly and the AllFather’s decision had been harsh #Loki saying he’s happy for Thor and Thor sees the way the smiles are forced and he sees the way Loki avoids any touch #Thor hating the way Frigga talks about Loki’s short regency and Thor’s absence like it wasn’t two whole decades or something #like she’s so grateful to have her other son back without ever addressing why he was gone #Thor just. growing during his time on earth and being much more aware of the behaviour around him #he learns to be critical and assess why people around him may act a certain way #once he realises that it’s possible for him or anyone else to be fallible and make mistakes it’s over for Asgard for him I think #Thor returns and Loki gives him the throne and everyone expects him to obviously have the throne #and Odin is sleeping and Thor isn’t comfortable with the way everyone accepts him as king regent after the banishment #Loki who either never lashed out against Jotunheim or did and it was brushed away and no one thinks about it as anything #but Loki is still deeply affected and acts the way he always would have but Thor can feel it’s not the same #he knows something is wrong and Loki won’t say anything about it and Thor doesn’t know how to bring it up #Thor sees Loki metaphorically receding into the shadows to become a nonpresence so loud Thor hears it even after returning from decades away #Thor goes to Earth and gets his priorities in order gets a new worldview learns not to take what he has for granted #and finds out he actually despised Asgard #he’s been back a week and he can’t stand it