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sirendeepity · 3 years

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[ Nesand one-shot ]

A/N: before you come at me with pitchforks and torches, ready to burn me at the stake, I'd like to clarify that this is not a romatic/crackship fic. They're both more than happy with their own actual mates and so are we. Also, on this blog we stan and highly support healthy communication (given the characters and the canon events, I'd better say communication of any kind, bUT STILL). I know many would find it weird, but I've often headcanon(n)ed? this as their first step toward a real reconciliation. So there it is, black on white, hoping you'll enjoy reading this much more than I did, writing it (twice, actually, and we can thank my stupidity for that).

W/C: 3.7k

T/W: sexual assault, abuse

“We’re going to have guests very soon,” Feyre announced as soon as Cassian’s ass touched the velvet seat cushion of the couch, Nesta leaning over the arm to his left. When he’d looked at the free spot left in a silent request, she had just waved him off and found her own comfortable seat.

“We received a letter from the Human Queens: they wish to send here one of their newest courtiers to meet with us. They didn’t mention for what reason, exactly,” Rhysand went on, picking up where his mate had left off, “but we’ll take our chances, given the latest events.”

Given the war still looming over Prythian; given what happened with Briallyn, and the powers Nesta lost and found anew; given the threat Koschei and his Fourth Dread Trove represented. They couldn’t allow themselves any failure or misstep, nor miss any given opportunity to gather new information or forge possible alliances.

The unspoken words were everyone’s first thought, Cassian could tell it solely on the look on their faces, but the air was thick and heavy with something else, something more. Something his High Lord and Lady weren’t eager to share.

“What it is?” He asked, looking to the couple standing across the studio.

Rhysand’s gaze hold his own for a few breaths but remained quiet.

It was his High Lady who spoke, her eyes fixed on a pair the perfect reflection of her own, just colder, sharper, “It’s Tomas.”

Cassian could have sworn Nesta’s heart missed a beat. His surely did.

Predatory calm washed over him as every muscle in his body went taut.

He breathed in, then did it again, trying and failing to keep at bay the surging fury already warming his siphons and the whole room with them.

“He’s not setting foot into this fucking Court.” Cassian failed to recognize his own voice, so calm and low despite the rage he was feeling.

Tomas Mandray.

The name wasn’t new to him.

It had left Nesta’s lips only once, but the cold restrain in her voice, the stillness in her very being, and the swallow she had to take after the dismissing “ex-fiance” bullshit told him everything he needed to know. He lived on top of a library filled with priestesses in white robes, after all. Had spent many years there even before he could call it his home, their home. And had learned to read between the lines.

That day he’d seen red like never before. Rhysand’s and Feyre’s voices had snaked in his mind, one after the other, asking what was wrong. He’d ignored both, shutting abruptly his mental shields. Nesta, as it was to be expected, had matched his temper just fine - her cold resolution the only thing that kept him from flying all the way to the human lands to hunt down the son of a bitch and tear him apart with his own bare hands, as if he were nothing more than a mad beast foaming at the mouth, taking down whoever got in his way if necessary. They had never spoken of it again, but his name was inked in his brain like the tattoos on his very skin.

“Who is Tomas?” Mor asked carefully, trying to ease the tension and bringing the conversation back to a common ground - or at least a ground where more than three people understood what was going on.

But Cassian was having none of it. “Someone who’s going to be dead soon enough.” His gaze was fixed on Rhysand, daring him. The High Lord narrowed his eyes at the challenge and his mouth opened to throw back a retort. Nesta beat him to the punch.

“Let him come.” Were her only words, laced with cold indifference. As if it didn’t matter, as if she didn’t care. Fucking lies.

“Are you kidding me?” He turned his face, looking up at her. He knew the fight they had avoided weeks before would’ve come back sooner or later, and if it was going to happen right there and then, under everyone’s attention, then so be it. He wouldn’t back down this time. Nor ever again.

“Drop it, Cassian.” Nesta didn’t even look at him, insisting instead on keeping her eyes down, checking her nails. As if this -him- wasn’t worth the effort.

His hand twitched and he felt his skin prickling like it was too tight for his body. “No, I don’t think I will.” He stood up, unintentionally shoving Nesta’s elbow in the process, and put as much distance as he could between him and- well, everyone.

“You’re making a scene for nothing.” Cassian turned to face her again, only this time she’d deigned to look at him. He almost wished she hadn’t, because what he saw in her eyes… They should’ve been over and done with it, yet there they were. Back on square one, apparently.

No, we’re not, he reminded himself.

“He’s not getting anywhere close to you.” His voice held resolution enough, but he still crossed his arms over his broad chest, ready to take whatever Nesta would throw at him.

If she rolled her eyes once more, Cassian could bet they would pop out of their orbits. He would have grinned at the reaction, at the slight sag of Nesta’s shoulder and the tension released from his own, if it weren’t for the decision yet to be made. How the hell did Tomas even manage to get the Queens’ favor? Not only that, he became their courtier as well.

Nesta’s exhale was loud and heavy as she stood, chin up and all, “We have to let him come here and play his stupid little game.”

“No, we fucking don’t. We refuse. We ask them to send someone else.”

“That’s the whole point! They’re doing it on purpose. They know, Cassian. There’s no other possible explanation. He must have sold them my-” she faltered, regret already shadowing her eyes at the realization of what she’d let slip from her mouth, quickly recovering from her mistake, “our past, and gained something from it. How do you think he caught the Queens’ attention otherwise? Chopping special wood for them? Please.” Nesta scoffed, the anticipation for what was to come painted on her face. “I gave him the power he thinks he has now, and by not agreeing on meeting with him we’re just proving his point: that he has something, that he’s worth something. I’d rather die than giving him the satisfaction.”

Gods.

She was standing a breath away from him now, and Cassian had to remind himself that he was, indeed, still mad about the whole Tomas situation and that they were, indeed, still in a room full of people.

That was the reason why their fights never lasted until the morning of the day after.

He’d taught her how to wield a sword, among many other weapons, but they did little compared to what her steel-will and that wicked mouth of hers were able to do. Places and situations like the one they were in - that was the battlefield she belonged to. And she was every inch a conquering Queen, posed and ready to guide her one-woman-army into war.

He forced his lips not to bend upward in a smirk, not to show his pride, the awe toward the female he had the honor to call mate and wife. Instead, Cassian dismissed her entirely, turning his attention toward Rhysand and Feyre instead, watching and listening intentionally like everyone else, clearly entertained. “Do you remember the days off I always refused to take? I do now. And so does she.”

Nesta tilted her head, narrowing her eyes at him. She was pissed. She was very, very pissed.

* * *

Nesta blinked away the recent memories of the day.

They managed to found an agreement - of which she was still bitter about - and moved on. The flight back home had been quiet, but as soon as they’d landed and she had glanced at Cassian’s expression, everything went downhill. Or uphill, it depended on the point of view.

He’d worn that insufferable smirk like a medal, and she’d wanted nothing more than to erase the smugness from his face. Either by fucking his brain out or kicking him in the balls. The second option, tho, would’ve given her immense but temporary joy, and it wouldn’t advantage her in the long run. So she’d gone for the first one instead.

They’d both ignored Azriel’s unnervingly kind request of keeping their business out of the dining room, at least. And the things Cassian had whispered against her ear, as she’d laid bare and writhing and begging-

Stop, Nesta.

Hours have passed since then, Cassian and Azriel both long gone - something was not quite right in Illyria if the Shadowsinger had to leave as well. She’d planned to ask Gwyn to keep her company but ended up doing otherwise, also because she knew a specific someone would have knocked at her door, sooner or later. Asking right away for an explanation, or pretending to “just talk” while trying to carve the truth out of her.

Who she sensed wasn’t exactly on her list of suspects.

She shut the book resting on her lap, standing and quickly reaching the door of the private library.

And there he was, the High Lord of the Night Court. In the middle of her hallway, his hands already tucked in the pockets of his finely made black pants and an expression she struggled to decipher on his face.

He just… Stood there, looking at her. She didn’t move, didn’t balk from his violet eyes, only stared back. And then she acted.

She closed the door at her back and headed for the stairs, hoping he would understand her silent invitation. He did, thankfully, and they walked in silence for a few minutes, climbing step after step. Once she reached the upper level of the House, she went straight for the wider balcony, where two wooden lounge-chair awaited, each one with a thin wool blanket. It wasn’t so far into the night to be needing them yet, but Nesta had no idea how long her brother-in-law planned to stay.

She took a seat, looking up at the stars already visible in the darkness above their heads, waiting for Rhysand to join her.

That he did not, choosing to stand instead. She couldn’t see him from where she was without twisting, and that realization settled something restless in her chest. That told Nesta they’d both end up needing the covers sooner than expected, and not because of the chilly air of the night.

“I didn’t know you went to the Wall for Feyre,” Rhysand said, finally breaking the silence. He had asked, then.

“She’s my sister.” They’ve laid down their weapons since Nyx’s birth, yet Nesta still found it hard to keep the harshness at bay when speaking to certain members of the family. But she was trying, at least, at that was still something.

“Not many expected you to do so, given the risks.” His voice was low, distant, like that was not at all the reason why he was there.

Because it’s not, Nesta reminded herself.

“Not even Feyre , apparently.”

She knew where Rhysand wanted to carefully lead the conversation without any spiteful retort getting in the way, but she kinda missed his word games and provocations, all made just for her to expose her neck so he could hit, aiming straight for the jugular. So Nesta got in his way, making sure their current conversation came to an end, and waited for his next attack. But Rhysand didn’t reply, so she waited some more, and more, and more. To Hell with him.

“Say it,” Nesta snapped. He clearly wasn’t in the mood for playing games, so there was no point in keeping this one going.

“What’s with him?”

There it was.

She knew it was coming - she literally asked for it, yet she found no words, no answers.

It was like she didn’t want to find the answers. Because saying the words out loud, Nesta knew, was admitting once and for all that it had happened. That it had been real, and not just a very vivid nightmare. One of her worst.

Her stare was fixed on the golden capital, lit by fires she knew burned until the first lights of dawn - and sometimes even after. Yet it was not light what Nesta saw.

It was the brown and the green of the trees; the pale, dirty skin of the hands tightly wrapped around her wrists, tearing at her dress, greedy for something that wasn’t theirs. Nesta flinched at the creaking sound near her, from the lounge chair Rhysand was now sitting on. He took his time to make himself comfortable, legs sprawled before him and ankles crossed; one arm resting on his lap as the other went behind his head, to give support. She watched it all under furrowed brows.

“The 50 years I spent Under the Mountain had been the worst of my entire life - and I’d lived a very long life. I’d made a lot of mistakes in the past, hurt a lot of people. Amarantha… She made sure I paid for all of it.”

He wasn’t looking at her, but at the glittering sky above, counting the little dots piercing through the dark. The same ones, she supposed, he hadn’t been able to see for so many years. Nesta suspected it was not stars what his eyes were beholding, as well. She looked away, too.

“I had to please her, to warm her bed every night, to pretend I was enjoying myself just as much as she was. Only she was not. What she truly enjoyed was the pain she knew I was feeling. The disgust. Amarantha’s whore. That’s who I was, who I had to be. That was the punishment I deserved.” Rhysand fell silent again, not turning or looking for a reaction, an expression. Never meeting her gaze as less and less time passed between a blink and the next.

Nesta inhaled quietly, feeling the weight of what her brother-in-law just told her. She was supposed to say something, that she knew, but what? Did the right words even exist? She could try to find them, at least.

“Did Tomas… Is he your Amarantha?”

She should have tried faster.

Breathe in, then let it go.

“No-not really. But he got close.”

It was her turn to look up, the stars now way more than before, and let them hear her secret. “I asked him. I made up an excuse and asked him first - to come to the Wall. He said no, of course, and laughed at me, calling me crazy. He said that if Feyre had been stupid enough to get through the Wall, to the Fae, then she clearly wasn’t worth the risks. He wasn’t even done talking when I decided that it was over, so I let him know. And when it was my time to say no he just… He didn’t care. At all. I managed to run away before he could… ” The words died out, stuck in her throat.

Almost five years had passed and yet she couldn’t bring herself to say his name without feeling sick. Maybe, one day, when she stopped pretending not to be affected by all that had happened, she would. She would say his name loud and clear, without fear, or nausea, or cold sweat. But for now, she would keep it hidden in the darkest part of her mind, hoping to just forget about it - about him.

“Who knows about it?” Rhysand asked, his voice leading her back to the present moment.

“You, me, him, and the stars.” Her answer was vague enough that, if she were him, she would’ve been fairly annoyed by it. Rhysand, apparently, was not. He was surprised by something else. “Wait- You didn’t tell Cassian?”

“I did not. The thing is: he knows, yet he doesn’t.”

In that moment, Nesta swore she could hear the gears turning in Rhysand’s mind as he said, “I think you lost me here.”

“When he first came into my house, back into the human lands, to dispatch the letters to the Queens, it took him all of one look at me to know that something -someone- had happened to me,” she said, recalling the memories of that day. How he had tempted and teased her; how she had played along, convincing herself she didn’t want to know how warm and soft and sure his skin felt under her touch, how tight his arms could held her. Ah, that damned day. “We never had an open conversation about him, but by now he must’ve already connected the dots and came to the same conclusion on his own.”

“You should tell him nonetheless,” Rhys went on. His tone was no longer the low, deep rumble of words it was before. Now it was even, at least. “He’s your mate, your husband. He cares about you more than life itself.”

“I know.” She really did. He made sure never to miss the chance to remind her, that tongue of his working its way around her in more ways than one. Yet, no matter how sure and light her heart felt, Nesta couldn’t bring herself to do it. “But I also know that it would destroy him - the rage, and the grief. The guilt. And I don’t think I can survive the look in his eyes, knowing that I’m the cause of his pain.”

Many times now she had debated whether to tell him or not. Every scenario ended the same moment she started picturing the shift in his eyes, the hazel turning dark and hard as rock, the predatory stillness of his form.

Many times now she hadn’t been able to look at his husband’s face for more than a few seconds.

Nesta’s voice had created a veil of silence between them, and Nesta’s voice had also been the knife that cut it open, as she shared her curiosity by asking, “Did you? Told them about what happened, I mean.”

The High Lord took a deep breath, “No, I didn’t, either.”

The eyebrow raise had been an automatic reflex. The pointed look? Not so much.

“You should, they’re your family.” Her words were honest, but she knew the turn the conversation was taking would end with both of them running toward the end of a cliff, jumping face-first into what awaited underneath.

Amusement shone in Rhysand’s eyes when he turned to face her. “How the tables have turned. Correct me if I’m wrong, but they’re your family, too.”

End reached.

“It’s not the same thing,” she huffed out, a loud exhale covering and muffling her words. Nesta knew the words she was willingly cutting out were a hard pill to swallow, but they still rang true to her heart.

They were not her family. Not in the way she imagined or wanted her family to be.

In her head, she wouldn’t have to hide or be ashamed of who she truly was; in her head, she wouldn’t have to give herself a pep-talk before meeting them for more than the brief, occasional rendezvous; in her head, she wouldn’t have to beg on her knees or save multiple lives at once to be forgiven.

Still, it didn’t mean they could never become one, someday. She was sure as hell willing to try. “They’ve been your family for 500 years. I can call them that since just a few months.”

Rhysand stared at her for very, very long seconds. She almost believed he was reading her soul. Almost.

One more and we’ll find out if red and violet are a match after I’ve stuck my fingers in your eyes, she thought.

You’re funny, Archeron.

She’d opened her mental shields just long enough for him to read her thought and give it an answer. A sarcastic one, even better. They were closed shut the second after.

“Still,” he stated, maybe a bit too loudly than necessary, bringing the conversation back outside their minds, “They are. We are.”

It was like they were switching turns, because this time it was Nesta who stared, head slightly tilted, letting the daemati in front of her picking up her train of thought even without strolling around in her mind. The slightest twitch of his dark brows told her he knew.

“So, you mean to tell me, that you find just and fair for me to tell them about what happened with Tomas, but not you opening up about Amarantha?”

Nesta didn’t need an answer. His hardly repressed eye-roll and the way he had to dart his eyes around, just enough to hide the annoyance at her -very fair, if she may add- point, were more than enough. “That’s what I thought, too.”

“Okay,” all Rhysand’s attentions were on her in an instant, a new intent lighting up his eyes,” let’s make a deal, then.”

Fuck.

“I will tell them about Amarantha,” Rhysand went on, clearly pleased with himself for the discomfort he was causing to her, “Only if you do the same about Tomas. With your sisters, at least.”

And Cassian.

The name never left his lips, yet it couldn’t have been louder.

Nesta added him to the list, anyway - in fact, she put him first.

What caught her attention the most, tho, had been the fact that Rhysand had been ready to put so much of himself, of what he’d been through, at stake. For her.

Nesta shifted in her seat, not stomaching the starlight violet any longer. She felt Night caressing her mental shields, purring, asking to get in. She let it.

You’re worth the risks.

She turned, the bones in her neck cracking with the fast motion, and stared speechless at Rhysand. She’d let him in her mind, yet the voice wasn’t there.

He’d said those words out loud, had made sure the stars heard them too.

Nesta filled her lungs with cold air, trying to recollect herself at best as she could and displaying self-control, or at least pretending she still had some.

“They’re going to send us their therapists’ receipt,” Nesta finally commented with a newfound lightness in her tone. She surprised herself with the swiftness with which she’d jumped between emotions that seemed so far away from one another.

The soft chuckle he gave in return was as much as she would get. That night was not for deep, belly laughs. That night was for healing what others had broken. To build anew.

taglist: @thewayshedreamed @bookstantrash @letstakethedawn @sayosdreams @starksravings @julemmaes @moodymelanist @duskandstarlight @iddragyouwithme @perseusannabeth

#dee writes #nesand #nesta archeron #nesta x rhysand #rhysand #broship #nesand broship #post acosf

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emikadreams · 3 years

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You are dead to me

A/N: Um.. yah so this is a fic where Feyre confronts Nesta, I really needed Feyre to confront her properly so this is self indulgent in a way and I will not be writing a part 2 for the anniversary fic cuz I lost all motivation for that 💕😅

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Feyre was seething in fury.

She had half a mind to mist Nesta and knock her off her high horse.

She wanted to rip her sister’s throat out for having the audacity to accuse Rhys of not caring enough for Feyre before doing the unthinkable and throwing Tamlin’s name in his face.

“Darling, you know that’s not true so let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Rhys replied cautiously with his hands raised in surrender, his eyes softening. She couldn’t believe that he was the calm one in this scenario, if the roles were reserved-if Nesta had uttered some bullshit about Feyre Rhys would forget negotiation altogether, retorting to action before consulting her.

Feyre scoffed, “I don’t care! She had the gall to accuse you about-” her voice wavered in pain, thinking of how it must’ve affected Rhys before continuing, I’m not going to let her think she is untouchable-even if Cassian is going to hate me for it I’m going to end her ridiculous notion of superiority.” Her hands curled in a desire to punch her sister. Feyre was done- absolutely done with defending someone who deserved none of her mercy.

Rhys swallowed- probably worried. Feyre smirked with barely contained anger.

He should be.

“Nesta Archeron.”

Feyre stormed into the house of wind, the floor shaking with her rage. Cassian breezed into the room with a concerned look, “Feyre- what happened?” He started to walk towards her but she stopped him with a look, “Are you Nesta Archeron?” she asked, her voice dripping with venom. Cassian had the decency to not ask why she had stormed into the room, “No- but I would like to know why you’re asking for her.”

He looked at her with worry but his body settled into a defensive stance before walking towards her, Feyre’s hand twitched and she bit out,

“I really don’t need to explain myself to you Cassian, I want to speak to my sister,” his eyebrow raised knowing that the reason was clearly not friendly but she ploughed on, undeterred, “ I’m going to see her whether you like it or not.” She moved to sidestep him saying, “move,” but he blocked her, “Feyre, you look really angry-” she cut him off, “ I said move Cassian.”

He crossed his arms across his chest, unrelenting.

Feyre slapped him faster than the general to register, using his momentary surprise she kicked him in the groin and gracefully walked away as he doubled over in pain.Feyre looked back at him and said, her voice softer, “ I’m sorry but I really need to see her.”

Cassian nodded, his eyes closed in pain he said weakly, “I’ll get you for that.” Feyre smirked, a bit of the anger leaving her, “I look forward to it general.” with one last look over her shoulder she walked to the library, knowing exactly where her sorry excuse for a sister will be holed up.

On seeing her sister look completely unworried in the library, all the anger that was leeched out of Feyre came back in startling force, she straightened her spine and drew herself up to her full height, she stood in front of her older sister and cleared her throat.

Nesta looked up, blinking in surprise and smiled making Feyre see red.

Nesta was going to die tonight

Nesta continued, ignoring her sister’s tense stance, “ Feyre, I was coming to see you actually-” she cut her off, her voice dangerously low, “How could you Nesta! How dare you,” Feyre snarled, baring her teeth.

Nesta looked confused and stood, her book forgotten, “I- what?” she stammered, Feyre laughed darkly, “Of course you wouldn’t know. How could I forget you are the very definition of a hypocrite.”

Nesta straightened and retorted calmly, “ You talked to Rhysand.”

Feyre looked at her as if she was a mere inconvenience, “Of course I did, did you think this would get past me?” She held her sister’s glare, “Well, I’m not going to apologise, I meant every word.” Feyre didn’t miss a beat, “You think I came here to ask for an apology, you may not have any dignity left but then again, I’m not you.”

Nesta’s jaw dropped, but Feyre was far from finished, “I actually thought that you had changed, but there’s no ripping away the deep-rooted poison in you is there?” Nest tried to cut her off but she ignored her, “ I tried confronting you the civil way, but that didn’t work, I left you alone thinking you needed space but then you threw that in my face and I thought- I genuinely thought,” Feyre laughed in disbelief, “ that after saving not only my life-but also Rhys’s and Nyx’s that you had changed but I was wrong again.”

Nesta shook her head, her eyes flashing with her power, “Feyre what are you saying I love-” She lifted a hand cutting her off, “ You will let me finish, I don’t care about whatever half-assed apology you have planned, “ she looked at her sister, and saw fear reflecting in Nesta’s eyes, only then did she realise that her grip on her powers had lessened.

Fire was now licking at her fingers and darkness swirled around them but Feyre didn’t care, let her sister realise that she was a wolf who can tear her apart with half a thought.

“You have done nothing for me, you refused to help when we were stuck in that godforsaken cottage and instead opted to leech off of me till I was taken by Tamlin, need I remind you that he looked at you.” she pointed a finger at Nesta accusingly. “ You could’ve gone instead of me but of course, that would deter your plans of being the Queen of a no man’s land right?”

Nesta only stared at her with her face impassive but she could see the shame in Nesta’s eyes, “ You did help me, yes, only to further the insecurity that you planted in me and when I was killed and drowning in despair I had no one but Rhys.” Feyre’s heart squeezed in pain at the thought of her mate, her breathing became shallow yet she continued,“ He was the only one there for me when I was wasting away, he saved me.”

Tears were now flowing freely down her cheek but Feyre refused to wipe them away, “He is not perfect, he has made many mistakes, believe me, I know and I haven’t forgotten or forgiven them but I would not be here without him.” her gaze softened briefly as she said, “ You have gone through hell Nesta I know that,”

Nesta straightened and bit out, “You have no clue what I have gone through while you were busy galavanting with high lords.” Feyre knew this was coming so she drew in a breath before saying, “ Fine. If that’s what you think, be it, but can you disagree with the fact that you weren’t there to help me when I was in a hell hole.”

Nesta looked down at her feet, feyre smirked, satisfied, “ Of course you can’t and you what I don’t even blame you! When you were suffocating from the pressure of life, I reached out but you refused.”

Feyre barked a laugh, “ Me being me, I respected your wishes out of love but you crossed the line when you opted to drink and fuck your life away. So look at where we are now, a year after I forcefully sent you to the Illyrian mountains,” Feyre gestured to Nesta and she looked up with tears in her eyes, Feyre’s anger took a back row on seeing them but she needed to get things off her chest,

“ You can hold your own in a fight, can use powers and even made friends with people that you call your sisters, remember when you had scoffed at me for saying I forgot you and Elain when I said that I made a different family, one that treated me with love and respect that my own flesh and blood refused to give me.”

Nesta opened her mouth to speak but closed it instantly,

“ Then to add fuel to fire, you insulted the very man who helped me become myself, do you know what he said when he let it slip what you said, “It doesn’t matter darling, I’m sure she didn’t mean it”

Nesta looked surprised and ashamed, “ Exactly. So all I have to say now is, Fuck you. Don’t you dare disrespect Rhys or my family ever again because if you do Nesta, I will show you exactly how I treat my abusers, because that’s what you are, my abuser.”

Feyre was exhausted but she spat the words in Nesta’s face knowing that it would hurt and turned on her heel and all but ran to the door but not before hearing Nesta’s whispered words, “I’m sorry Feyre. I truly am.”

Feyre’s tears returned, her knees buckled from the weight of what she had said but she responded softly, twisting the knife deeper into her sister’s heart,

“Too little too late Nesta”

she walked out as sobs racked her body and slammed into a chest, she looked up to find Rhys gazing into her eyes with concern and pride, he gave her a sad smile and she broke down. His arms encircled her stroking her hair, soon she was in their room, the high lord held her while she wept with pain, hatred and regret.

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#feyre #feysand #rhysand #the archeron sisters #nesta #cassian #my writing #angst #confrontational #fanfic #fic #don't kill me pls #feyre archeron

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bowdawn · 3 years

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Can you do an Elucien one shot including the quote “get your grubby claws off my mate”? Pleeeease

hey anon! alright i got you! this is a continuation of this fic i've posted you don't have to read it to understand it, but if you wish for context, there it is.

🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

Her steps crushed the flowers of her garden, and yet Elain did not care at all. She was going to murder her little sister and her stupid mate who had no consideration for the lives of others, as long they were serving his purpose as High Lord.

Lucien had travelled for Spring Court again. He had told her on a rushed letter a couple days ago and he assured her - after she pounded and yelled at their bond senseless - that it was a routine trip, and he wasn't bearer of any ill news that could potentially set Tamlin off.

And of course nothing followed according to plans because her stupid brother-in-law was too much of a git when it came for being petty to the beast who was on command of Spring Court.

All would end now.

Elain marched inside the house, carrying dirty all over the place, making enough noise for Feyre to come rushing, baby Nyx almost dozing off in her arms.

Her sister gave her one look before widening her eyes. Usually Elain wouldn't dare to wake her nephew at any cost, but her rage fogged her mind.

"Call your stupid mate right now Feyre."

"Elain-"

"No. Shut up. Call that idiot right now." Feyre starred at her as Nyx mumbled cries started. Elain simply did not care.

She felt Rhysand's dark presence as soon as he winnow outside their home. She debated walking to him, but thought he would be more pissed going after them instead.

As he reached the dinning room his face and power were rumbling. Nyx was fussing officially and Feyre struggled to settle him.

A strange force also rumbled through Elain - and it chanted ancient. Rhysand didn't seem to notice, his eyes were glued at her. But she was ready, as soon as he stepped in her reach, her hand flew to his face.

The slap cracked on the room. Feyre gasped beside her, Nyx only cried louder. Elain didn't care as she pointed her fingers at Rhysand.

"You will take me right now to Spring Court." Rhysand growled at her and before he could react she slapped him again - harder. "You've sent my mate to deal with that unchecked High Lord. Lucien is hurt and you're going to take me there right now Rhysand. And you will not sent Lucien again to that place and I don't give a flying fuck if you're the High Lord of this fucking Court or not. Tamlin is Feyre's mess. She is the one who fucked his Court. So she deals with him, or your stupid inner circle. Lucien is out of the question."

"You can't order me Elain."

The hymn inside her exploded around her, Rhysand straighten his back only for a second. "Try me Rhysand. You forget I'm a Seer, Cauldron Blessed, and that my mate has connections. If I desire, I can end your reign. If I desire I can turn this Court into shambles for Nyx to inherit only dust. Do. Not. Dare. Me."

"You dare threaten me?"

"Rhysand, Elain..."

"No threat. Warning. I had made explicit Tamlin was not Lucien's problem anymore and you ignored me. So yeah, make your move and I will make mine."

Rhysand stared at her, whatever darkness he wanted to unfold on her contained. "Your mate is old enough to say no to me."

"We both know this is bullshit. You're bullshit. I mean it Rhysand, just dare me."

"Rhysand-" Feyre reached her hand and touched her mate's arm. He didn't break eye contact with Elain. "Elain said Lucien is hurt, we can have this conversation when everyone is save and calm."

"This is for you too Feyre. Fix your shit with Tamlin. But sending Lucien to Spring to contain him stops now."

Elain walked out of the house, message clear. She didn't have to tell Rhysand to follow her, he knew better. For her to act so aggressively, it meant Elain had had enough.

Her brother-in-law offered her no words as he grabbed - in fairness, gently - her wrist and they winnowed in Spring. Rhysand must have sensed Lucien's mind because they landed exactly where her mate stood.

Lucien sat on the ground, breathing heavily, his hand on top of a bleeding wound. Elain rushed forward, a mixture of distress and pure vile rage left her throat.

"What happened?" Her knees fell next to him and her hands shook as she wondered if she should touch him or not.

"You shouldn't be here Elain." Although injured, Lucien's voice was strong. A good sign, she thought. "He should have not been here."

"Rhysand is going to deal with Tamlin, aren't you Rhysand?" She didn't take her eyes of Lucien and still, she felt Rhysand's annoyance.

"Apparently." Was all he offered.

A roar echoed around them and Elain closed her eyes, finally turning to glare at her stupid brother-in-law. Lucien's free arm circled her waist, pulling her back behind him. A warm wind surrounding them.

It lasted only a second before a body tumbled on top of Lucien, sending her away and pining him to the ground.

The rage she felt before was nothing compared to seeing that beast attacking Lucien. Darkness surrounded them all, as Tamlin growled at Rhysand, Elain felt something click.

She stood up, and kicked Tamlin in his chest, sending him flying to the ground. The pulsing inside her had a rhythm, and Elain followed it's guidance.

Her fae body was stronger than she had guessed for the kick had been hard enough to turn Tamlin back to his male form. "Get your grubby claws off my mate."

Again, the ancient call surrounded around her and Tamlin pale expressed hardened. "Rhysand, take your subject out of my land and leave. I will consider an invasion next time."

As Rhysand made his way towards them, Elain spit on Tamlin. "If you so think of hurting Lucien again I will put a knife on your neck just as I did with Hybern." She had no idea that type of violence could exist within her - at least not again.

"You can't threat me." Tamlin was standing, but he didn't move. Lucien too had found his feet and stood behind her, a hand on her shoulder - more than fire glowing around them both.

"Try me Tamlin, I already bossed one High Lord today." She grabbed Lucien's hand, steadying him as much as herself, and without looking she grabbed Rhysand's arm.

Back at Velaris Elain said no words to either him or her sister. Her focus was fully on helping Lucien. Later she would have words with them again, no apologies though.

"Let's clean this mess." She guided him to the kitchen, making him sit on the chair while she cleaned his wound. It had been nasty but it was already mending - thanks to fae magic.

"I think if you kiss me it will heal at once." Lucien's words sounded joyful, pride layering it. Elain didn't need to check the bond to know Lucien had been quite pleased at seeing her claiming him like that.

"I'm too angry still Lucien, don't tempt me."

He chuckled, gently his fingers gripped her chin and they stared at each other's eyes for a moment.

"Let's leave Velaris." She whispered, finally voicing her wishes.

"Where do you wish to go?" He didn't ask her why, she counted that as a blessing.

"Anywhere, everywhere. Let's just go, I'm tired of all these games." She dropped her forehead on her mate chest and treasured the reassuring heart beating.

"Alright. Let's travel then. What do you think?" He kissed the crown of her head and Elain beamed at him.

"I think it is perfect. Can we go to the Continent? I always wanted to go there."

Lucien nuzzled his nose at her. "Let's see this world and more."

"Deal."

#elucien #my writing #elain archeron #lucien vanserra #elain x lucien #lucien x elain #feyre #rhysand #nyx #elain bossing rhysand is my new fave thing #but they are my brotp as well #dont worry they love each other #elain was just pissed

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yoonjinkooked · 3 years

Text

CHEMISTRY | JHS (3)

PART 3 - ONE KISS

(pls ignore my old URL, i’m too lazy to change it now RIP)

DRABBLE SERIES, TONS OF SHORT LITTLE CHAPTERS.

SERIES MASTERLIST Pairing: Hoseok / Reader

Rating: 18+

Genre: FWB, university AU, smut (a bit of a slowburn)

Warnings: cursing, alcohol, hot Hoseok who knows what he wants, kissing (is that a warning), the deal is almost made, JK has a bad music taste (not really tho)

Word Count: 5k

Summary: After a few years of being immune to Jung Hoseok’s charms, you suddenly fall into them, head first. All it takes is one night, too much alcohol and a lot of balls.

A/N: This has been sitting in my drafts since OCTOBER and i finally edited it today because I can’t f-ing get Jung Hoseok out of my head. Sigh. Let me know what you think! I’m balancing this story with others and I hope I’ll have an update for you soon!

As the days passed one by one you knew that the luxury of avoiding Hoseok is going to escape your grasp soon. Frankly, it’s a miracle you’ve been able to avoid him as long as you have and with Yoongi’s birthday this weekend, you know your lucky streak will break soon.

You didn’t expect it to break before that, not really. But here you were, minding your own business, studying on campus in a makeshift picnic setting and taking in the first proper rays of sunshine of the year, when he popped up from the tree behind you, very clearly cornering you.

And scaring the living daylights out of you too, as you end up clutching your chest and cursing at him while he laughed his ass off at the sight of you freaked out. “You nearly killed me, you idiot. Was it worth it?”

“Oh, you have no idea,” he laughs as he plops down on the grass next to you, completely casual, as if nothing between you has changed. To be fair, perhaps it hasn’t, in his eyes. “Let’s be honest here Y/N, I had to ambush you. You’ve been avoiding me for days,” he emphasises and although you wish you could call him out for being overly dramatic, you couldn’t. Leave it to Jung Hoseok to not beat around the bush and call you out directly.

“It wasn’t that bad,” you mumble, not even bothering to try and deny. That makes him laugh, a sound that sounds so misplaced in your current setting. It feels wrong to openly discuss the awkwardness that has formed between you while he is literally laughing at it.

“You ran out of the cafeteria the other day so fast, Namjoon is still calling you Speedy Gonzales,” he jokes, laughing harder when you curse that traitor under your breath. At least he is joking around with you. You wish he would ignore it altogether, but it could be worse.

“I’m sorry,” you let out a groan, consciously avoiding making direct eye contact with him. “You know I can get awkward like this. It’s not your fault, it’s… all me.”

“Y/N, come on,” he leans closer to you and nudges your shoulder with his. “It’s me you’re talking to. There’s not a single reason to avoid me. We are both consensual adults who wanted to make out at a party. It’s as simple as that.”

This time, you turn and give him a good look, unsurprised to find a content smile on his face. He is bright and positive just like he always is, to the point of it being both annoying and overbearing at times. He has always been a great friend but there were times when his positivity and energy were too much for a grumpy ol’ potato of a person that you are 24/7. Now, however, you are glad for it. Unlike you, he obviously wasn’t beating himself too much about what had happened between you.

“So, what you’re saying is that you’re not feeling awkward and I shouldn’t either?” you ask.

“Exactly,” he shrugs. “You are… one hell of a kisser,” his eyes widen in a way that makes it seem like he is shocked by how good of a kisser you are.

“Hoseok, please,” you hiss at him, not even caring if he was telling you the truth or lying to spare your confidence. You are embarrassed and he knows it well.

“I mean it!” he laughs, amused by your sudden shyness – it’s a side of you your friends are not used to seeing, simply because you don’t normally do shit you’re ashamed of, at least not when they are directly involved. And if you do, more often than not, you own up to your bullshit. You’ve had your fair share of moments that would normally be counted as humiliating, only to brush them off casually and move on with your life. Not this one, though.

“You need to stop,” you laugh awkwardly, hoping that this conversation will simply end. “I was drunk, I came onto you way too strong and I am pretty sure I used way too much tongue.”

“If you think that I didn’t find it hot how confident you were that night, I’m afraid you don’t know me well,” he bites back. You are instantly shocked, not imagining him taking the conversation in that direction and also shocked by the nature of his admission too - Hoseok always struck you as more of a hunter than prey. You didn’t exactly keep track of his hook-ups but you were fairly sure that he was the one who initiated them more often than not. “And for the record, it was the perfect amount of tongue.”

Oh good lord. If you knew he would say the things he is saying, you would have tried desperately to avoid him for… well, the rest of your life, really.

“Please stop before I dig a hole for myself, right here, right now.”

“Why are you acting so shy about this Y/N?” he is laughing, once again nudging you with your shoulder, which only makes it more obvious to you how close you are sitting next to each other. Before, you wouldn’t bat an eye. Now, it’s driving you mad. “You know me, I don’t bite. Not unless you want me to, that is,” he adds cheekily.

“Oh, I noticed, my neck had a lovely little souvenir,” you reply before you could realize what you were even saying. There’s no way he’ll let it go now and the worst part is, you don’t even want him to. You’re saying that you do but in reality, you yourself are finding ways to deepen the conversation. This whole thing is crazy and… wrong! “Why are you making it sound like you want to do it again?” you whine, wishing he would just be up for forgetting about it.

“Well… I wouldn’t be opposed to it.”

You turn your head towards him so fast, you strain your neck and wince in pain, reaching at it with your hand. “Are you okay?” he asks, wide-eyed and worried, as he watches you rub your neck and grimace in pain.

“Am I okay? Are you okay?” you counter, completely floored by the words that left his mouth seconds ago. You have avoided him because you’re an awkward idiot, not because you thought that he’d be up for a re-run. “Did you just suggest what I think you suggested?”

“To be fair, I didn’t suggest it, I simply said that I wouldn’t be opposed to it,” he shrugs.

“Hoseok,” you glare at him, making him laugh. Even now, he laughs.

“I mean… why not?” he shrugs casually and all you can do is stare and blink dumbly at him, reminding yourself that you’re supposed to breathe, too. “If that party showed us anything, it’s that we definitely have chemistry that… goes beyond friendship. I’m not looking for anything serious and as far as I know, you aren’t either,” he continues and after a few seconds of silence, you realize that he’s waiting for some sort of a response from you. Unsure of what to say, you simply nod your head - after all, it is true. You are not looking for a relationship, not after the last two ended in tears and you drowned in vodka and chocolate ice cream. “Why not… take advantage of the opportunity?”

“I’m gonna need you to elaborate on what that opportunity is,” you’re not sure why you are even asking him that, when you know damn well what he is implying. You suppose that it would settle the last remains of doubt if you were to hear him say it more directly.

“Two single, and if I may add, incredibly good looking, friends who want, or in our case, don’t want the same things,” he cocks his head to the side, a small smile on his face. He looks way too cute for someone who is suggesting you sex with no added obligations. If you are not terribly mistaken and he has something else entirely on his mind. “Why not take advantage of the situation? And the chemistry - holy hell Y/N, you know we have it.”

He’s… absolutely right. Despite being drunk, you can clearly remember how… feverish you felt that night. You just wanted to keep kissing him, annoyed when you had to part for one second to simply breathe. If you had one more drink in you or if there had been fewer people around you, you’re not sure if the night would end with the two of you fully clothed. You have amazing chemistry as friends and you felt the sexual side of it that night. It would be stupid to deny it when you know well how rare it is to simply click with someone in the manner that the two of you had clicked that night.

“We do… but we’re also friends. And you know how shitty deals like these can end,” you point out the obvious. There are millions of books and movies about how ‘friends with benefits’ is a horrible, terrible idea because there’s an incredibly high chance of it ending in tears. “One of us could end up taking that chemistry to the next level and catch feelings. I’m not good in chemistry – I’m an art history major for a reason,” you joke, relieved when it actually makes him chuckle.

“That’s a good point. But we’re also really good friends, Y/N. We know each other well and we talk. If it would become too much for one of us, we could simply… talk. And I’m not suggesting anything… specific. I’m not here saying we should hook up until one of us decides they want to move on,” he tells you.

“Dude, you’re confusing as fuck,” you sigh, laughing along with him. “What are you suggesting then?”

“I’m just saying,” he grunts as he stands up, pausing to wipe down his jeans, while you make a conscious effort of not looking down because... thighs. “The next time you’re drunk, horny or bored, or even all of the above, you know where to find me.”

He looks down at you, the smile gracing his face slowly turning into the tiniest of smirks, before he gives you a wink. And with that, he simply turns around and walks away, leaving you with your mouth open, looking like a complete idiot while you try to figure out what the fuck just happened.

Nah, you know damn well what just happened. You have enough dating and flirting escapades behind you to recognize the look of someone who’d be happy to fuck you. The particular someone being Jung Hoseok is what is leaving you absolutely shocked and at a loss for words. As honored as you are and as much as the offer is… incredibly tempting, this is not something you can decide on the spot.

No, because you’re a dumbass. Of course you can’t decide this on the spot but you could decide in a matter of seconds that you want to stick your tongue down his throat and let him grab your ass while you grind on him as if your life depended on it. You weren’t expecting this turn of events and unsurprisingly, you have no idea what you should do about it. It’s tempting, in all the wrong ways, but it is also making alarm bells in your head go off. It could easily end in tears - the real question is, would it be worth it?

It took three full songs for you to start wondering if you have stepped through a time machine when you’ve entered Seokjin’s house. How Jungkook managed to convince Yoongi to let him DJ at his birthday party was a mystery that you at first ignored, but by the time he played that one Nicole Scherzinger and 50 Cent song, you’ve decided to investigate. “How much did you pay him to let you DJ?” you laugh at your friend, who looks up at you and grins, dancing in place with his trusty neon green Beats around his neck.

“Come here baby, hey be my baby, hey be my baby,” he sings at you, making you roll your eyes.

“Fuck Jungkook, please don’t drop out of school, you need that degree more than you know,” you say as you offer a comforting pat on his back.

“For your information, the theme of the party is ‘guilty pleasure’,” he announces with a proud smile. “And Nicole just so happens to be mine.”

“You and me both,” you admit with a huff, turning around to scan the room in the search of Jin - you’ve been looking for him for the past couple of minutes, with no luck. “Did you see Seokjin? He went to make me a drink with the gin from his expensive stash, but it’s been like… half an hour?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook nods, pointing behind you. “He’s right there with Hobi.”

Those were the only words you needed to hear in order to know what you must do next – hide. You did not bother checking, you did not look back – you simply dropped down to the ground and plopped your ass right next to Jungkook’s feet. “Y/N, what the hell are you doing?” your friend laughs, looking down at you in disbelief. “Are you still hiding from Hobi?”

“No, I’m sitting here because the view of your thighs is nice,” you roll your eyes. “Of course I’m hiding from Hobi! I’m not mentally prepared to deal with him right now. Although, you do have weirdly muscular thighs,” you add absentmindedly - what is it with them and thighs? First Hoseok, now him - do they only do leg days when they hit the gym?

“Stop,” Jungkook laughs down at you. “Are you seriously planning on running from him forever?”

“Not forever,” you shrug casually. “Until the end of the year, maybe.”

“I mean, I can’t stop you… but you do realize that if he finds you here, it’s going to look like you were giving me a blowjob or something?” he pointed out, eliciting another casual shrug from you.

“Good. He’ll think I’m busy and leave me alone,” you offer Jungkook an angelic smile. He knows better than to push you – when you want to, you can be stubborn as all hell and sadly, Jungkook’s has plenty of experience with being on the receiving end of said stubbornness.

You know what he’s thinking – you can tell from the way he shakes his head and decides to ignore your presence by his feet while he focuses his attention to that god-awful playlist of his – you know exactly what he’s thinking and he has a point. You’re pathetic. A coward. An idiot.

You have shamelessly lied to yourself earlier tonight, as you were getting ready for the party. You’ve told yourself, repeatedly, that you are ready to face Jung Hoseok, despite not knowing what your answer is to his suggestion from a few days ago. You have convinced yourself that you were ready to face him. Seeing as you're hiding behind a damn desk, just meters away from him, it’s pretty obvious that you are not.

He hasn’t left your head in days, to the point of even appearing in your dreams, even if he was just on the sidelines. For years, you have been blind to all the gifts Jung Hoseok has to give, and now they’re slapping you in the face all day long.

You want him, that much you’re ready to admit. Definitely to yourself, perhaps even to him. But are you willing to put an entire friendship on the line and go through with that desire? That’s not a question you know the answer to. For the time being, you will just… keep on hiding behind the makeshift DJ booth, until Jungkook informs you that the coast is clear.

“We’re drinking that whiskey tomorrow, got it?” Yoongi asks, referring to the birthday gift you’ve given him earlier, which he had to hide in one of Seokjin’s spare bedrooms, given that the house is full of people who’d drink anything that’d fall into their hands. “You and me, tomorrow night, drinking back at my place. Let’s make it fancy. Wear a beret or something.”

“Why would I wear a beret while drinking whiskey?” you laugh in confusion. “What’s the correlation?”

“Both are fancy,” Yoongi shrugs and after a few seconds, so do you. If he wants to drink expensive whiskey whilst wearing a beret, that’s what you’re going to do. Having a drink or two with Yoongi, in almost complete silence, has become sort of a tradition for the two of you. Compared to the rest of your friend group, you and Yoongi are the quieter, less social ones. How you wound up in a circle of friends that include permanent hyper bunny Jungkook and Mr. Loudest-Laugh-Ever Jin was beyond you.

“Can I join?” you hear Joon’s booming voice. He approaches the two of you, throwing a hand around your shoulder. Glaring, you grab a hold of his hand and move it away from you, watching as Yoongi laughs in confusion at your open hostility towards Namjoon.

“Not you,” you point a finger at him accusingly. “I’m still pissed at you. You haven’t gotten to your redemption ark yet.”

“What did you do now?” Yoongi sighs, looking at Namjoon as if you were not in the middle of the conversation with him.

“I teased her about hiding from Hobi,” Namjoon announces with a shit eating grin. “Guess Speedy Gonzales here doesn’t like to hear the truth.”

“Oh, I’m absolutely avoiding Hoseok,” you admit shamelessly – it’s become obvious now, why would you bother to deny? “I just don’t want to talk about it and you can be one pushy bitch when you really want to.”

“You’re both idiots,” Yoongi shakes his head, sighing. “I truly wonder why I’m friends with you?”

“Well, I buy you good whiskey. Dunno what’s his excuse,” you offer Namjoon one last glare. Deciding you’ve had enough of his judgment and teasing for one night, you beeline towards one of your two safety nets – Sana. As good of a cover Jungkook was, you didn’t want to cockblock the poor boy all night, and he has been talking with some freshman for the last couple of songs. Sana, being practically your only female friend in existence would definitely be more willing to help you out, but by the time you’re halfway towards her, you notice that she is talking to a senior she’s had a crush on pretty much since you’ve met her.

Brilliant. You can either find a new cover or be a cockblocking friend. Whatever you decide to do, you need a drink first. Settling for cheap gin this time around, you venture into the kitchen, ready to get wasted and cursing under your breath at Jungkook’s horrible taste in music, as you are forced to listen to Ginuwine’s ‘Pony’ at full blast.

One more drink and it’ll be socially acceptable for you to leave the party. You’ve stuck around for long enough, even managing to enjoy yourself a little bit. Not enough though, not compared to the tension that you’ve been feeling in your gut even before you got here.

“Hi.”

If you were holding your drink, you would have dropped it. Even the sound of his voice is enough to make a shiver run down your spine. Closing your eyes for a moment and taking a deep breath, you muster enough strength to turn around and face him.

Nope, that wasn’t enough strength. You needed more. You needed more to face Jung Hoseok, in ripped skin tight jeans, a black shirt with a v neck, messy hair and a smirk on his face, casually leaning on the wall next to the kitchen door. You could have taken an hour to collect yourself and prepare for your pending doom, and it would not be enough to prepare you for the Hoseok you were facing now. Especially when he is smirking at you, looking at you like he knows exactly what thoughts are roaming around your head. Add to that the horrible soundtrack courtesy of Jungkook, and you are overcome with a sudden wish to die, right here, right now.

“You’ve been avoiding me again,” he points out the obvious.

“And you’re cornering me again,” you argue back, hoping that he didn’t notice you gulping, literally gulping.

“I’m not cornering you,” he chuckles. Your eyes go wide when he stands up straight, no longer leaning on the wall. Slowly, he starts walking towards you and you walk backwards right into the table, no longer having room for an escape. He stops in front of you but he’s too close, too close for comfort, to the point of you being able to see a single freckle on his nose, despite having a decent amount of alcohol in your system already.

“Oh no,” you suddenly move to the right, towards the door, towards your escape. “Stay away from me, Satan!”

“Satan?” he laughs in disbelief.

“Yeah, Satan,” you confirm without a second thought, looking at him up and down. “Did you look into the mirror before you left your house? You’re sex on legs, Hoseok. So yeah. Satan.”

“For someone who’s about to run for the exit, the words you’re saying are making me think you don’t really want to do that,” he laughs, although he doesn’t step any closer to you. As ready as you were to call him Satan just seconds ago, you see his true good self shining through. He’s chasing you, very obviously so, but he is not pushing you too far and you know that he’ll recognize if he actually should step away. He doesn’t want to literally make you run in the opposite direction and the space he leaves between you is confirmation of that.

“You think I don’t want to run?” you ask and immediately he nods. “Maybe. You’re here. You’re hot. For some reason I can’t fathom, you want something with me. That’s inviting, yet very scary at the same time.”

“And do you want something with me?” he asks, no longer smirking.

“Honestly? Yes and no,” you answer, cursing yourself in your mind – alcohol always makes you talk more than you should. But in this case, maybe that’s exactly what you need - just a little bit of honesty. “I’m attracted to you, you’re an amazing kisser and we’re both single. Why not? And the answer to that question is simple - we’re friends. There’s… way too much at risk here, Hobi.”

“We’re better than that,” he shakes his head immediately. “We’re not stupid, horny teenagers. We know each other well. We’d be mature enough to stay friendly, or at the very least cordial, no matter what happens.”

Both of you do have a reputation of remaining friendly with your exes. Except for your last one, but that’s a story you don’t wish to revisit, especially not tonight. Broken hearts mend with time, people grow, find others and life goes on. If you set the terms the way you both want them, in theory, it truly doesn’t have to end in tears.

“What exactly are you offering me? And miss me with that ‘whatever you want’ bullshit you offered me the other day,” you interrupt him, chuckling when he closes his mouth dumbly, obviously having been ready to say just that. “Do you want to make out? Do you want to fuck me? Once or on a regular basis? To kill time until someone better comes along or in the hopes of it becoming more? I can’t make a decision if you don’t tell me exactly what you want, Hoseok,” you tell him. You were honest with him and now, it’s his turn.

“I want you.”

“Effective, but not effective enough,” you mumble, ignoring the stirring in your stomach that started as he said those words with… earnesty, with meaning. Hearing that you are wanted is always a good fluff up for an ego, but to hear it said like that, dead seriously, by someone you find incredibly attractive? It’s so good, it’s borderline painful.

“I’ll take what you give,” he shrugs casually. “What do you want?” he throws the question back at you. Shameless is what he is.

“A husband, two kids, two dogs and a house with a white picket fence?” you joke.

“Y/N,” he glares playfully at you, laughing. “You might want that down the road but do you really want that now?”

“God no,” you snort in response.

“So what do you want now?” he asks again. “It can be a one-time thing. It can be regular. As you said, we can kill time until someone better comes along,” he rolls his eyes at the phrase, obviously not liking the sound of it. “It doesn’t have to be sex, for all I care. We can just fool around at parties. Or we can pretend like none of this ever happened and just continue being just friends,” he shrugs.

“When you say it like that I wonder if you even want anything from me,” you laugh.

“Y/N, I have barely been able to stop thinking about kissing you ever since that night,” he deadpans, looking straight at you, not a trace of teasing or joking on his face. “Which was pretty horrible, seeing as you’ve been avoiding me and I had a molecular biology paper to finish. I do want you, probably more than you realize or want to accept. And I’m taking whatever it is that you offer. If I had my pick, we’d be friends that… occasionally become more than that.”

“So, to put it in simple terms, you want a friends with benefits thing with me?” you ask.

“Yes. But if you don’t want that, I’ll respect it and stick to it. You’re my friend, Y/N,” he smiles at you and it’s almost calming to be on the receiving end of his genuine smile and not that evil smirk that does things to you. “I’m not losing that friendship if I want to fuck and you don’t. So… whatever you want to do, that’s the way it’s going to be.”

Here you are again, faced with an opportunity that you know will likely end badly for you, perhaps even both of you at once. And again you wonder, if all the possible negatives are worth it - worth of finally succumbing to this sudden and overwhelming desire you feel for Hoseok. Turning his offer into reality… is it worth it?

“I need to think about it,” you close your eyes, taking a deep breath before continuing. “I’m not thinking straight right now. I’m not wasted, I’m just… hazed. Horny. However you want to call it. And I don’t trust my judgment around you right now. If we go through with this, I need to have a clear head when making the final decision.”

“Take all the time you need,” when you open your eyes, he’s smiling at you still. “I do have two tiny requests, though.”

“Shoot.”

“Please stop hiding from me. It’s weird and I think you’re scaring Jungkook,” he grimaces.

“You saw that?!”

“Of course I did,” he laughs. “It was cute.”

“Stop!” you order him.

“Okay, okay, I’m stopping,” he lifts his hands up as if he’s surrendering. “I’m pretending you didn’t duck and hide when you heard I was around,” he laughs. The fucker knows how embarrassing it is for you and he’s enjoying every second of it.

“What’s the second request?” you ask, desperately wanting to change the topic.

“Would you let me kiss you again?” he asks.

“Hoseok…” both your words and eyes are warning, as it’s going directly against what you want right now - a clear head. Kissing him would muddle it all, you know it. Not to mention how easier it would be to take things a notch further, given that you both know now that you want more.

“Just one kiss,” he elaborates. “It’s not gonna turn into a kitchen make out session or something more. And if you don’t want it, it’s not happening. We’ll never do something you don’t want, Y/N. You know me, I’m not like that.”

You do know him and you clearly remember him refusing you at first because he thought you might have had too much to drink and were acting out. You didn’t, you were well aware of what you were doing. Yes, you had no idea why you were doing it but your actions were not a drunken side-effect. Not then and not now. And damn it, you really want to kiss him again.

“One kiss,” you lift your hand in warning, but that was enough for him. He takes a few steps and closes the distance between you – was he being deliberately slow or were you imagining things, you’re not sure. All you know is, it lasted enough for your heart to start going into overdrive even before your lips met his.

It’s just a kiss, but at the same time, it isn’t. He’s not grinding against you, he’s not groping you, he’s not taking it anywhere it shouldn’t go. His hands are in place on your waist, gentler than you remember them being the last time. He’s respectful and careful, in every way except with the actual kiss. Before you even get to mentally prepare yourself for it, he parts your lips with his and tongue meets yours.

You’re the one who moves. You’re the one who threatens to take this further than it should go, as you put your hands around his neck and run your fingers through his hair, pressing your body just a bit closer to his.

It’s his fault. His kiss made you do it. He’s way too good of a kisser for his own good.

Thankfully, the one who initiated it is also the one who pulls away. Breathless and with eyes on your lips, Hobi moves away, letting your hands drop out of his hair as he keeps a safe distance.

“One kiss,” he repeats your earlier words. “Until you tell me you want more.”

Yeah, it meddled with your mind. Despite telling him you need more time to think about it, you know it’s already settled in your mind. You’ll definitely be coming back for more.

#hoseok series #hoseok fic #hoseok smut #hoseok fwb #hoseok x reader #hoseok x y/n #btswritingcafe #bangtanarmynet #btshoneyhive #thebtswritersclub

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ofmagicallonging · 2 years

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"I'm to do what?" The dark haired man looked at the captain of the guard. He knew that he shouldn't be so familiar with the broader man, and yet he couldn't help it. They had been raised next to each other, dreamed of becoming royal guards all the same, and had the fortune of training together. The only thing was - they didn't think Cornel was fit to be the captain. Granted he did look much slimmer and weaker than Leoric was, and given they were both the top of their recruit group it was a clear choice. That and given their experiences.

"Yeah, you know, Cor, it isn't really me who came up with this bullshit." Leo rubbed at his eyebrows, for once he wasn't in his full armor. They were in his office, the only thing that he was wearing was a tunic with embroidered emblem of the king. The only difference between them and the regular guards. The Elite. Cornel bore a similar symbol but given he was on duty he was fully decked out. "The King."

"Oh Lords." he groaned. "I thought we would have gone out on adventures, but we are stuck here in the damn castle, parading ourselves around the halls with really nothing but those stuck up nobles as company."

"You are one." Cornel rolled his eyes at that remark.

"Semantics."

"Still...you are re-assigned to the young Prince."

"Xander?" Leoric gave him a pitying look. He wished it was Xander, at least for Cor's sake. The second youngest had the affinity with animals, hell he had heard that the other often traveled in seeking the unnatural, but at least he left the castle here and there.

"Robin." he sighed sitting down in the high chair. "You are to watch the youngest." All color drained from Cor's face. When he actually was on duty around the King he at least traveled with the old man, but the youngest?! He was the last choice when it came to marriages or being the heir or anything... he was stuck here... in the damn castle. The call to adventure thwarted in the nub. Shoulder's falling he let out a sigh. "Sure...I guess. I'll..I'll go." readjusting the sword at his hip when he stood up he glanced at Leo once more, hoping this was a sick joke, but when the captain moved over to the paperwork in front of him, he knew that this was for real. Guess it was time to introduce himself to the youngest. (the royal AU? I was in need to get this out of my system so...here it is, you can ignore it ofc)

@cornelthecursed

Robin had many reputations as a prince. The youngest, the clumsiest, the last one, the one that only caused trouble. Really the list went on and robin hated all of them. People judged for all those reputations, they even judged him for the title. It meant that no one got to know the real Robin, the robin that wasn't a prince, the robin that didn't get up to trouble. Sure he knew everyone's name in the castle and made effort to befriend them, he was still judged by those reputations.

Then there was his brothers, his four older brothers that all had responsibilities and freedoms Robin could only dream of. Everyone compared him to his brothers, why wasn't he a Knight like Seth or knowledgeable like Cain. Why wasn't he the oldest like Felix or able to do good like Xander. Robin was just Robin, and not good for anything expect for getting in trouble. So Robin had decided if that was how everyone was going to view him then he might as well play into it.

Robin had gone through countless of guards because of it. He'd lost so many cause of disagreements, boredom or even because Robin didn't like how he'd been treated. The last one had locked Robin's room to stop him escaping, in turn causing Robin to feel more trapped than he already was. So he was more glad to see the end of that one. Sure it meant, everyone in his family gave him a stern talking to, Heck Seth had even shouted at him for not acting like a prince. And it meant he was now getting the man second to the captain himself, clearly they were struggling for guards for him. Maybe they'd run out and Robin could finally be left to his own decides.

However currently Robin was supposed to be waiting patiently in his room for the new guard but had other ideas. Robin was leaving the castle and going off on his own adventure. Climbing out of the window like he'd done countless, using the rope he kept in his room for that exact reason. He was half way out of the window when the door opened. Robin didn't care if it was a servant or the guard, he was out of there. Starting to climb quicker, hoping he could hit the ground before he was seen.

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omg-im-such-a-masochist · 3 years

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ILLICITUS: CHAPTER 2 Prompt: Y/N is a respectful narcotics agent, she worked hard to have her work recognized in a prominently male work field. She‘s assigned to the most important case of her whole career, investigate and apprehend the biggest drug dealer of U.S.A, the only thing she didn’t count on, was for the bastard to be so damn charming. Word count: It is kinda short, sorry Pairing: Mob!Roman Reigns x Reader Warnings: +18, cursing, small flirting and some secrets...(that’s all for now)

Tagging: @ziasaph, @mindofasagittaruis, @akiko-tanaka, @reigns-5sos and some of the lovely people who’ve encouraged me to continue with this @gamergirl929fan , @bayley-no-friends, @lilred91, @anyahsinc Notes: Sorry that it was too short, but if I didn't stopped, Lord knows how long it would have been. Y’all know the drill loves,sorry for misspellings,english isn’t my first language (bla bla bla),check out my other stories if you’d like to(it would make your girl here very happy 😊) and if you’re comfortable with it,please let me know what you think? Some feedback is always welcomed and appreciated ❤️You can check out my other stories typing ‘masochist writes’ on the search bar on my page and my newest story as a fixed post.Okay,now let’s get to the fun part,shall we? Hope you’ll enjoy 😉

"Good. At what time is your shift over?" He asks, fingers still caressing my neck "7 pm" I breath out "Should we schedule for 8:30, then?" His eyes glued to mine "Fine" I freed myself from his hypnotic spell "I'll see you at 8:30 then agent Y/L/N" He smirks .................................................................................................. "What the fuck did you just did Y/N? Are you insane, kid?" Jeff tries to silently whisper "Jeff...I need to know how much does he knows about this operation" "You must have a death wish, girl! If I knew you would be this reckless I wouldn't have designated you for this case!" He itches his beard, something he would often do, whenever he was frustrated or irritated. "Jeff, you gotta trust me on this ok?" "How the fuck am I supposed to trust you after this? The last thing you should have done kid, was freely walk into that man's house!" "And how am I supposed to extract information then? We both know how high level his informers can be, so you can't be naive Jeff, and tell me that you truly believe a judge would have signed a warrant!" I raise my eyebrows He sighed "I know kid...I know...Look, you're like a daughter to me ok? So yeah, I get a little nervous to know that you're going to be trapped inside that fucker's house for a 'dinner'. I assume you know what he will want for dessert?" "Oh please! I'm not gonna fuck him, if that's what you're implying" I scoffed "I know you won't kid, but he on the other hand..." "Jeffrey, I'm a big girl ok? I can take care of myself, thank you very much!" I huffed "Right...just be careful Y/N, please? I mean it" He looks at me with nothing but worry and compassion upon his brown eyes "He won't hurt me Jeff, I promise you that" He gave a sigh of relief, right after realising "Wait! That was not what I asked, kid" But it was too late, since I was already on my way to the elevator to meet my dinner partner ............................................................................................................................ I debated whether I should change my work close (Which were a pair of skinny jeans, black tank top and some adidas sneakers) or not. But I figured that would make him feel like I was trying to impress him, so I didn't bother. I rang the doorbell, and imagine my surprise, when he was the one who opened the door. "Oh good evening agent Y/L/N, you look stunning" He lazily smiled I rolled my eyes "It's the same outfit from this morning Mr.Reigns. But thank you, regardless" He step aside for me to enter his house "Please, this way" He offers me his arm, and I just ignored, passing through him and going to the dining room. I can hear him lightly chuckling behind me. "I didn't knew what you would like to eat so, I chose to wait until you arrived here" He says My eyes widened in shock "Does that mean I'll have to wait for dinner to get ready, with you?" My voice filled with scorn "Ouch, that hurt agent Y/L/N. I'm not that despicable, you know?" He tries to disguise, but I can see the amusement printed all over his smug face *Fuck! Maybe this WAS a bad idea, like Jeff said. I shouldn't have done this! Damn it, I need a fucking cigarette!* I thought "Do you have a place where I can smoke?" I quickly ask He crooks one eyebrow "You don't seem like the smoking type, agent Y/L/N" "Don't judge a book by its cover Mr.Reigns, you might fool yourself" "Indeed....Here" "Here what?" I asked "You can smoke here" He smiles "In the dining room?" I sarcastically say "It's my house, isn't it?" He smirks *Fuck it* I thought as I light up a cigarette, the familiar smell of burning tobacco, filled my nostrils and eased my rushed mind "If may I suggest, the chef does a marvelous steak, agent Y/L/N. Unless of course, you don't eat meat" He says as he slides me an ashtray I just nod in agreement "Great. I'll be right back" *Goddamn Y/N! What the fuck are you doing? You just look like a dumb bitch, who thinks she can fool this man! Maybe you're whole carreer was a mistake! You should've been a lovely prostitute, like your dear old mother! That tramp! It runs in your veins you know? The cheap whore DNA...* I could hear my father's voice in my head, telling me all the worst things he could think of... I was pulled off of my memorie zone, by my cigarette being yanked off my lips. Roman was sitting on the dining table, in between my legs, staring at me. "Whatcha thinking about?" He asks, as he places my cigarette on his mouth giving it a long drag *Fuck, he looks hot...* "Nothing" I whipered He lightly blows the smoke on my face "Bullshit" He put out the cigarette on the ashtray "Wine?" He crook his eyebrow as he takes two glasses of red wine from the table "Sure" I respond. As he offers me one glass, I take the other and he gives me a questioning look "I'm not going to accept the glass YOU want to give me Mr. Reigns. I'm not that stupid" He chuckles "Do you thing I roofied your wine?" I shrugged my shoulders "Oh baby, trust me, I don't need to roffie you...I want you to be as conscious as ever when you moan my name" He smirks and takes a sip of what should've been my glass of wine "Why did you wanted to have this dinner, Mr. Reigns?" I ask, ignoring his previous comment "Well, because I want to get to know you better, agent Y/L/N! I think it is only fair, since you're going to be digging through out my whole life, don't you think?" I sighed "I'm gonna recall you Mr. Reigns, that you are a target of an investigation. I'm not doing this because I want to and yes because I was assigned for it, sir. So I'm not here to flirt with you or to play hard to get, I'm just doing my job" He smirks "Please, call me Roman" "I'm afraid that's not very professional, Mr.Reigns" "And this dinner is?" He raises his eyebrows "I beg your pardon?" I gasped He leans in, his face mere inches from mine "Let's be honest here Y/N, you know what I meant by this dinner, don't pretend to be so naive. It doesn't suits you, baby" Something clicked on my mind "How do you know my name?" "What?" He asks confused "How do you know my name? I never told you my name" "C'mon now Y/N , you're not the only one who can do some research. The only thing that I don't get it, is" He leans closer, lips brushing mine with each word he spoke "How come can I only find records and documents on one Y/N and L/N from only 5 years ago? There's nothing before that, is like...she didn't existed 5 years ago, in anywhere in the world! Would you mind explaining to me why, baby?"

I could only stare at him in disbelief. Everything was so perfectly hidden back then, so how could he have found out about it?

To Be Continued.....

Please let me know what do you think? Your feedback is always important and welcomed

#roman reigns imagine #roman reigns smut #roman reigns fanfiction #roman reigns #roman reigns x reader #wwe one shot #wwe fanfiction #wwe imagine #wwe smut #wwe x reader #masochist writes #illicitus series

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imagining-in-the-margins · 3 years

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Hi! You often give alot of insight into anons like this and your my fave CM blog so that's why I'm here! So I'm finishing up the last seasons (and lord it is hard to get through) and they just introduced Max and I cannot stand her. She was just so rude and it felt like she had 2 different personalities the entire time she was on screen. And I worried that this meant I was like hating women because I don't like other female characters like Maeve, JJ, Hailey, and Seaver. But then I started thinking and I honestly think it's cause these Characters are women poorly written by men. But then I wondered how they created likeable Characters like Emily, Kristy, Blake, Tara, and Penelope (leaving out others like Savannah because they're under developed in my opinion) I don't know what's the difference in the writing for these Characters or of there isn't any at all and I'm just being hateful in a way. What are your thoughts?

Ah, I think about this a lot. Thank you for thinking I’m interesting enough to answer this, also!

I think you’ve really hit the nail on the head with the writers doing a poor job at most of their female characters. However, I think it’s possible (and very common in this fandom) for people to dislike any character Spencer showed an interest in, which is also problematic and rooted in internalized misogyny. To me, it all comes down to why you dislike the characters.

(A LOT More Below - Bit of a Rant)

The first step I took when reflecting to see if this was my problem was rewatching and seeing which female characters I loved. Along with the ones you listed, I also found a number of side characters I greatly enjoyed, including Lila, Austin, Dr. Linda Kamura (from Amplification, the anthrax episode), Einstein, Megan Kane, and a few other random case characters. So, right off the bat I found multiple characters who Spencer showed an affinity for. I also greatly enjoyed Cat’s character, although I found her to be underdeveloped in canon (Fanon has done a good job, IMO) and often contradictory in her character design.

If you didn’t like any of these women, and your reason is related purely to Spencer’s reactions to them, chances are you might be suffering from a bit of jealousy rather than improper character design - not that you need to like them all (or the ones that I like), but because they are all very different. You should, theoretically, find something to enjoy about at least one of them.

But the CM Writers have a TERRIBLE habit of writing women that are easy to hate.

There’s a bunch of controversy I see over Haley Hotchner, but the truth is that they wrote her to be hated. That was her sole purpose. Her character’s decisions were poorly thought out and she was shown to be malicious 80% of the time. This was intentional. She was written to personify the trope of the nagging housewife. If you dislike her, you have done nothing but follow the narrative.

That being said, you should also criticize why they wrote her this way. Because it didn’t make any sense. She married a prosecutor - a dangerous, time consuming job. She had Jack when she knew he was with the BAU. Why did she randomly change her tune? Why did she suddenly demand he gives up on his dreams that she was fully aware of for years? I’d argue they wrote it like this to further the narrative of “the wife who traps you with a child to force you to do what she wants” which is garbage writing. I wish people could look at the potential she had if they hadn’t written her like... that.

Maeve, I find, is problematic on multiple aspects and I’ve talked about it before. Her narrative was poorly thought out because as soon as they pitched the idea of a long-term love interest for Spencer, everyone (most notably Gubler) rejected it. They didn’t think it was necessary for his character, who already had a lot going on with the ignored plot lines of his drug addiction and mother.

There were multiple problems associated with her character that were never addressed. The fact she essentially just took advantage of a patient because she was bored, she seemed to “correct” his interests and show annoyance when he disagreed with her, she lied about having a fiance, she was shown to be considering breaking up with him... there’s a lot.

Her character is poorly written. It had a lot of potential, but they just kind of stopped caring once they decided to kill her off. She had more faults shown on screen than redeeming qualities. For many, they liked her because they see there was a potential that we’ll never see (fair). But for people like me, we interpret it as a idealized fantasy of what could have (but probably wouldn’t have) been, which is not healthy for Spencer.

JJ is an interesting character because you can feel the constant struggle between AJ Cook and the writers. They really sabotaged JJ at every step of the way. I’ll be honest and say that I think there are some reasons to hate JJ, but they aren’t the reasons I see most often. Almost all of the JJ hate I see is surrounding the idea that JJ is an evil, manipulative, jealous bitch. But.. she’s not. Even in Truth or Dare, when she pulls that asshole move that was wildly OOC for JJ (in my opinion), she isn’t shown to be jealous or cruel about it.

I think she’s the most likely target for people who’s hatred is driven from jealousy or disliking conventionally attractive women and assuming them to be bitchy by nature of looking “beautiful.” I think Lila Archer* also falls into this category.

But as I said, JJ was also written with a lot of flaws. I think it’s fair if you don’t like her character or the way she treats Spencer, but I also hope that you similarly criticize the whole team in the same way, and don’t just pity Spencer because he is smol uwu babie who needs protection.

(* Yet another reminder that I ask everyone to not message me about J Depp or Amber Heard. Reactive Abuse is an extreme trigger for me and I will block you if you try to get me to talk about it)

Seaver got a lot of hate based off one line of dialogue. I think it was a bad line. If they had left it out, there would be essentially no reason in my mind to dislike Seaver. I used to dislike her a lot, but the more I rewatch the show, the less she bothers me. She was just a young student who wanted to learn about her father/herself. She was MASSIVELY underdeveloped because they kicked her off just as quickly as they invited her in.

NO character was developed that quickly. Her scenes were a bit cringey and the plotlines were bad, and her character was mediocre. I don’t think she deserves the hate she gets. She is a lukewarm character.

I hate everything Max’s character represents. She was introduced to show that Spencer could be trained to be “normal” and it’s anti-autistic bullshit. She had no personality besides “I hate my low-brow job as a teacher and couldn’t be fucked to change it until a man told me I was smart.” She was cracking high-school-clique jokes while her family was about to be murdered. She immediately abandoned said family to make out with her boyfriend who just admitted to enjoying kissing the woman who tried to murder her family.

Her character makes absolutely zero sense. I do not understand how she is so liked. I really don’t (other than the fact that RLC is absolutely wonderful).

If they had left her character out, I think we would have been better off for it. We could have seen Spencer wrestle with defining himself by the women in his life and learning to love himself (without just replacing those women with... another... woman...)

That being said, those who cling to Max for hope of a happy ending for Spencer... I felt that. Fanon and fanfic can solve all character deficiencies. I believe in you.

So, yeah. I’d say if you’re worried about why you dislike women characters, you’re probably on the right path. I’d just reflect on why you dislike the characters you do and whether they are written as misogynistic stereotypes. It makes complete sense to reject characters written for the purpose of making you hate them, but we should all pour one out for the brilliant actresses that had characters with so much potential if not for men ruining it.

#Criminal Minds #anti-maxcer #anti-maeve #answer #answered

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kar-krashew · 3 years

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life could be a dream [AO3]

Alec navigates first dates, second dates, and general panic, while accidentally making a friend along the way. He's not sure how to feel about any of that, but it seems to be going okay.

Rated T for language and implied sexual content.

@arsenic-creator for you, my lovely ❤ This is an interlude, of sorts, between the Cars AU and the planned Cars 2 AU :D

Alec is ninety percent sure whoever came up with the concept of first dates was a sadist; who else would devise a concept so nerve-wracking and excruciating? Currently, he’s in a random hotel in Spiral Springs, aptly named as he’s spent the last hour spiraling into insanity as he tries to figure out what normal people wear on first dates with people like Magnus Bane. He can’t even call Izzy, because she’s off on some “important work trip” with Jace. (That basically means that they’re going to be mysterious and vague during phone calls the whole time— and that’s only if they answer. He knows better than to ask.)

Thus, Alec has two options: suffer, and show up to his first date with Magnus in his normal shitty worn-out jeans and shirt, or suffer more, and ask someone in town for help. Unfortunately, the only other people available to him are Raphael (Alec is pretty sure he’d be found dead the next morning if he asked Raphael about dating advice), Ragnor (the man dresses like a reclusive British hermit, Alec really doesn’t think asking him will help), and Simon.

Shit.

“Do I really need someone else’s help?” Alec asks his own reflection in the mirror, “I look fine, right? And it’s not like Simon’s got a better idea of how these dates work.”

He looks great, honestly! Probably. He’s fine, as long as he ignores the suspicious fraying of his collar and the faded white patches on his jeans, and okay, he lied, he does not look fine.

Also, Simon’s had like three pretty steady girlfriends already. The kid must be doing something right.

“Shit,” Alec groans again— out loud this time, for intended effect— before taking a deep breath and grabbing his phone.

Fine. If it takes talking to Simon, he’s going to talk to Simon. Besides, how bad could it be?

---

Really bad. Like, really fucking bad; Alec had forgotten how annoying Simon is, and he’s regretting this decision wholeheartedly now.

“No one’s really asked me for dating advice before, you know,” Simon says from where he’s rummaging through Alec’s suitcase, “And of the people I would expect to ask me, you’re, like, last on that list. Not in a bad way or anything, it’s just weird, you know?”

Alec does know. This is the third time Simon has said this.

“Sure, totally,” he grits out, watching Simon carelessly toss his neatly folded clothing onto the hotel bed. Alec is going to have to reorganize the whole case after this is over, because these sorts of things have systems and the kid is ruining it. This was definitely more trouble than it’s worth.

“Yep. Anyway, wow, I’m no expert, but you really don’t have a lot of options in here.” Simon whistles, pauses for a minute, then upends the entire suitcase onto the mattress before Alec can intercept. God, Alec’s going to strangle him. “That’s better! So, you seem to only have, like, one decent button-down, and those always look nice. Maybe pair it with a tighter pair of jeans? Your jacket would look nice with this, too, though I’d leave it out in this weather.” Simon tosses the articles of clothing towards Alec as he speaks, hitting Alec squarely in the face, but he’s already been distracted by something else before he can register the glare being sent his way.

“Okay,” he says after another moment, “Show me what you got.”

Alec’s skeptical, to be frank, but he decides to indulge Simon anyway, so he heads to the bathroom and tries on the outfit and—

Oh.

Simon’s really not bad at this thing. Izzy probably could’ve picked something a little more flattering, but this is way better than whatever Alec was wearing earlier; he didn’t even know he’d remembered to bring this shirt when he’d packed his bags.

“Hey, man, you look great!” Simon beams. “I wasn’t totally sure that would work out, but you look awesome! Magnus is going to love it.”

“Thanks, Lewis,” Alec replies, and he’s surprised to realize he means it. Simon’s grin stretches out wider, somehow, and Alec doesn’t even feel that annoyed.

(Oh no, does this mean he tolerates Simon now?)

“It’s gonna go great, Alec, don’t worry about it,” Simon responds, oblivious to Alec’s internal turmoil— Alec is seriously having a breakdown over the fact that Simon has somehow made it onto the short list of people Alec doesn’t want to punch on sight, because what the fuck does that say about Alec’s standards? His reputation is on the line. “Magnus has lived here for a while, which means I know him well enough to tell you that you make him really happy.” Alec stares at him blankly.

“I— That means a lot, actually,” he manages, then they both just kind of. . . stand there for a minute. Alec isn’t sure how to process the fact that they seem to be having a moment when he was preparing to initiate anti-Lewis measures just seconds ago, so it’s almost a relief when Simon ruins it with the next thing that comes out of his mouth.

“I feel like a proud mother sending her kid to prom. Do I need to give you a sex talk? No one actually gave me that speech when I was younger, but I did improv in highschool, so I could probably work something out.”

Scratch whatever he said earlier; Alec hates him.

---

The trauma Simon inflicts on him is almost completely worth it when Alec sees the way Magnus checks him out for a moment. The other’s standing outside the entrance to some obscure Chinese restaurant, smiling warmly and turning Alec’s knees to jello with his low-cut blue tunic and shimmery eyeliner (not helped by the fact that he has managed to find pants that are even tighter than his usual leather ones— Alec’s going to die of a heart attack before they can even enter the establishment).

“Hey,” he says, trying not to look stupidly overwhelmed at Magnus’s answering smile, “You, uh, you look amazing.”

“I could say the same, Alexander. This shirt is definitely doing you favors,” Magnus replies, and Alec blushes.

“Would it be completely unattractive if I admitted Simon picked it out for me?” he asks, half-serious, but Magnus just laughs, taking Alec’s hand in his own.

“Of course not. Remind me to thank him next time we meet.”

The rest of the night goes by in a blur: Alec’s sure that the restaurant and everything was amazing, but it’s hard to notice things like ambiance and food when one has a front row seat to the wonder that is the gentle tilt of Magnus’s mouth. He spends the night being regaled with far-fetched anecdotes in between shameless bouts of flirting and giggling, and it’s nice, it’s really nice; alone, away from cameras and parents, just the two of them tucked away in a cozy little corner booth together.

It’s kind of the best fucking thing that’s ever happened to him.

Maybe first dates, Alec thinks, lying in bed later that night, the taste of lip gloss still faint on his tongue, aren’t too bad after all.

---

“Oh my gosh, are you going on dates and making friends? I’m so proud, my baby brother is all grown up,” Izzy sniffs over the phone, “Do we need to talk about safe sex?”

“Why is that the conclusion everyone draws? Do I look that repressed?” Alec groans, thinking back to Simon’s earlier pursuit to educate him on the carnal pleasures of the world. He’d managed to cut the kid off after the first use of the word “penetrative,” but it had been enough to fuel his nightmares for a solid two days afterwards. “Also, I’m older than you.”

“Details,” Izzy dismisses. “Speaking of which, spill! How was it? I still can’t believe you ran off to Spiral Springs without telling anyone. Mom must be absolutely livid, I just wish I was there to see it.”

Alec rolls his eyes, even though she can’t see it over the phone— the sentiment is there, and that’s what matters. “You would be here to see it if you weren’t off doing lord-knows-what in god-knows-where every other week with Jace,” he replies.

“Import-export business, Alec,” Izzy says, “I’ve told you this.”

“Right, the same way you’ve told me you can cook without poisoning everyone. We both know it’s a load of bullshit.”

“We’re getting off topic!” his sister exclaims, which is Izzy-speak for “We’re not talking about this for another year or so,” as she artfully changes the subject. “I believe I asked for specifics about your date with Magnus, hermano. You are not getting out of this.”

Luckily for her, Alec is easily distracted by even the vaguest thought or mention of Magnus, because he’s a total fucking sap and Izzy knows exactly how to use it to her advantage. He would say he hates her, but, well: he’s thinking about Magnus now. That’s infinitely more important, obviously.

“I wouldn’t know where to start,” he sighs. The exhale’s got this kind of pathetically lovesick quality to it, but he barrels on, praying Izzy won’t comment on it. “We ate, then he walked me back to the hotel and kissed me at the door before he left. It was amazing. God, Izzy, I like him so much.”

In a perfect, normal world, this would be an opportune time for Izzy to realize that Alec is kind of horribly vulnerable and honest when it comes to Magnus, and for her to be gentle and supportive about it. However, because normalcy is a pipe dream that Alec’s siblings are hellbent on crushing, he is treated instead to an inhumanly high-pitched squeal, followed by frantic shuffling before a voice that sounds suspiciously like Jace’s floods the phone speaker. Given that the most-definitely-Jace-voice is currently yelling something about condoms and endowment and the logistics of same-sex intercourse, Alec decides that hanging up is the appropriate course of action here.

(God, they’re the worst. He’s never going to talk to them again. Or at least, he’s not going to pick up their calls for the next week. Okay, maybe, like 3 days. Probably.)

Great, he thinks, mentally patting himself on the back. Now that that’s settled, he can get back to other matters, like fucking losing his mind because he had totally forgotten to ask Izzy how to plan a second date so he’s now screwed but he’s definitely not calling her back especially now that he knows Jace has her phone and that means he’s been left to his own resources to plan the perfect second date for Magnus and he’s going to have to do it all by himself and he’s going to fail spectacularly because he’s never had to do anything like this before and no one can help him unless—

Unless. . .

“Shit,” Alec says— out loud, for intended effect again, as a horrible flash of deja vu strikes him— which is how, minutes later, Simon ends up sprawled out on the hotel bed next to him at 4 pm on a Wednesday afternoon.

Alec should really start looking into better coping mechanisms before this becomes a problem.

“Okay, so the first thing about this is that you’re approaching it all wrong,” Simon says, sitting up to peer at Alec over his glasses. “Dates are about spending time together, not about being perfect, so don’t stress! What did you initially have in mind?”

That’s the issue: Alec didn’t have anything in mind, because when he had said that he’d organize the next date, he wasn’t exactly operating on full brain function. Impaired thought processes tend to be a common side effect around Magnus, now that Alec thinks about it— he should probably get that checked.

“I really have no clue,” Alec groans. “There’s so much that could go wrong! What if I take him somewhere that reminds him of his ex? Or I stumble and spill slushie all over his shoes and they’re brand new designer ones and he ends things with me on the spot? Or he hates the food there and realizes that my tastes are shit and he decides to cut his losses instead of being forced to eat shitty food everyday that he hangs out with me? Or—”

“Alec, jeez!” Simon interrupts. “Man, you’re kind of a mess about this, huh?”

Okay, rude. Just because it’s true, doesn’t mean it needs to be pointed out. Alec just groans louder, and lets his head fall heavily against the headboard. “I’m so fucked.”

Simon shakes his head, standing up to pose solemnly. “Don’t lose hope yet, young padawan! Come on, you gotta have something. What do you know he likes?” he says, and because Alec is a sucker when it comes to talking about Magnus (as established earlier), the tactic totally works.

“Okay, well,” he starts, “I know he likes expensive wines with names I can’t pronounce. He likes late nights and old classical music, but his ringtone changes every week to a different Britney Spears pop song. He’s kind of a horrible romantic, but I really like that about him. I. . . like a lot of things about him.”

Simon blinks for a moment, and Alec hurries to wipe the besotted smile that’s inevitably found its way onto his mouth. It’s too late, though— Simon’s already grinning back at him, looking too excited for his own good. “That’s so cheesy,” he coos, “But in, like, totally a good way, I promise.” He pats Alec’s shoulder, once, then stands up. “I think I have an idea of what would work. Any ideas in terms of the venue?”

“Oh,” Alec says after a moment. He’s still thinking about Magnus, which means he’s thinking about their previous meetings, which means he’s thinking about—

“Yeah,” he replies, “I have the perfect place in mind.”

---

“So, where are we headed?” Magnus asks. He’s beautiful like this, in the light of the passing streetlights, silver chains glinting like stars, silk tunic flowing like water, hair mussed from the wind. If Alec didn’t have a plan for this evening, he’d probably do something very dumb like slamming the breaks on the car and kissing him senseless. It’s not the first time he’s had the thought, not by a long shot.

Maybe he can fit that part later into the evening.

“You’ll see,” Alec replies, beaming a little at the pout it brings on Magnus’s— stupidly kissable— mouth. “It’s meant to be a surprise.”

“I don’t like surprises,” Magnus frowns, but he still leans forward as they pass by a familiar waterfall. Alec can see the moment he processes what that waterfall means, his face lighting up completely as he does so. “Are we going to the Dumont?”

Alec shrugs, trying to be mysterious, but he’s grinning too wide for it to mean anything but a yes. It’s fine; if ruining the surprise means that he gets to see Magnus’s bright smile an extra few moments earlier than planned, it’s totally worth it.

When they finally pull up next to the old sign, Magnus has already noticed the changes to the hotel. “Oh,” he gasps, stepping out of the car, “Alexander.”

Lights are strung up around the outdoor courtyard, with a singular table in the center, a candle and plates arranged across its surface. Simon’s standing there, dressed in a black dress shirt, grinning at the two of them as music plays softly from some unknown corner. It’s horribly cheesy and romantic, and, judging by the way Magnus is excitedly clutching Alec’s hand as they approach the table, it’s worked like a charm.

Alec could marry Simon after this; the kid’s a fucking genius.

“Good evening, sirs!” Simon grins, “Welcome to the Hotel Dumont. We’re so glad you could join us this evening.” He bows, pulling out a chair from behind him, and Magnus laughs delightedly.

“This is absolutely lovely!” he exclaims, settling down. “Did you come up with all this?”

Alec blushes, sitting down right beside him. “Well, Simon did most of the work,” he replies, and Simon shakes his head.

“He’s totally lying; he did, like, all of the decorations and set up, and most of the plan, too. I’m just glad to be of help, man.” He hands them menus, then steps back. “Alright, I’ll leave you two alone for a moment while you decide. Don’t do anything too scandalous!”

Alec rolls his eyes— because really, what could they get up to sitting like this?— but then Magnus places his hand on Alec’s thigh as he leans closer and okay, maybe there’s a lot they could get up to, and maybe Alec is now thinking about all those things in a setting he really should not be, and maybe he should’ve let Izzy give him that talk after all.

“Alexander,” Magnus smiles, leaning closer still, “All of this is amazing, I don’t know how to thank you enough.” He tilts his face up invitingly, and Alec’s helpless to the pull of it, pressing his lips against the other’s. It’s supposed to be just a light brush, but then Magnus shifts nearer and opens his mouth up a little further and fuck, Alec’s libido is suddenly making a desparate appearance in this very public locale. That’s an issue, probably. Whatever. He can’t really bring himself to care right now.

“Mm,” he hums between kisses, “we should really decide on what to eat— hm, before Simon comes back,” but then he chases after Magnus’s mouth right after saying it, so that undermines the message a little. Though no one can really say it’s his fault: kissing Magnus is temptation incarnate, and Alec is a weak, weak man.

They do, eventually, unfortunately, break apart, which is exactly when Simon finally shows up with some expensive drink that he’d sworn Magnus would like. It seems to fill the has-an-impossible-to-pronounce-name quota that Alec had mentioned earlier, so he’s rolling with it. He’s also rolling with the menu, because Alec had planned on pre-planned meals for this thing, so he has no clue where Simon had managed to get proper menus with a selection of food (though the Spanish-themed cuisine on the menu and the passive-aggressive text he receives the next day from Raphael might be able to explain that).

Simon’s left them and they’re finally finished with their courses when some even sappier song starts playing on the speakers, and Alec, being a total dork, stands up and invites Magnus to dance with him. Alec’s kind of shit at dancing, so he’s not sure why he does that, but they end up pressed against each other, swaying slowly, and he can’t even regret it, not even when Magnus laughs at him for stepping on his toes.

It’s perfect. Alec has no clue how he’s going to live up to this on future dates. He’s also, like, halfway to proposing on the spot.

“I reiterate my statement from earlier: this is absolutely lovely, Alexander,” Magnus murmurs after a while. His head’s pressed against Alec’s shoulder, so the words brush Alec’s ear softly as he speaks. “I have quite a bit of planning to do for our next date if this is the standard we’re setting already,” he teases.

“We could eat takeout on my couch while watching some boring regency-era movie and I’d still love it,” Alec replies bashfully, “I got a little nervous this time and went really big, but I promise you don’t have to go this hard to impress me.”

“And you thought you did?” Magnus asks. He pulls away slightly, looking Alec in the eyes. “Darling, the same goes for me. This is stunning, but I genuinely just like you and your company, and that takeout thing sounds more than enjoyable. Though we might have to revisit your opinion on regency-era movies.”

Alec grins. “Why, Mr. Bane, don’t tell me you enjoy watching such long-winded pieces of media, filled to the brim with such stuffy, superfluous dialogue?”

Magnus gasps, seemingly affronted. “How dare you!” he exclaims, “It’s about the drama, the yearning! I’m sure you just haven’t seen the right ones. Next time, I’m making you watch my entire collection.” Alec laughs in response, and it seems to soften something in Magnus’s eyes, because he pulls close again, tilting their foreheads together.

“You know, Mr. Lightwood,” he murmurs, “I’m not the sort of gentleman to invite someone into my home on only our second evening together, but I’m sure I could make an exception for someone of your stature, especially given the amount of time we’ve spent together outside of these official meetings.”

Oh fuck, this is really happening. “How scandalous, Mr. Bane,” Alec somehow manages, then Magnus is giggling and kissing him, and yeah, Alec is so on board with this plan. He’s even more on board with the plan when Magnus leads him to the car, and then leads him up the stairs to his loft.

He’s not even annoyed when he wakes up to Simon’s strangely supportive “Congrats on the sex!” text, because there’s a man lying against his chest who he thinks he could easily fall in love with, and literally nothing else matters right now. It’s him and Magnus against the world: everything else can wait.

(Alec replies to Simon with a single middle finger emoji. He likes the kid, but Simon doesn’t need to know that.)

(The Star Wars movie marathon the two of them end up doing a week later kind of gives it away anyway.)

#my writing #none of you follow me for my writing but i insist on posting it anyway #malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #simon lewis #shadowhunters #malec fic

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thevindicativevordan · 3 years

Text

Why I Like Superman

This is a post I’ve been going over and over in my head, trying to suss out my feelings. The simple fact is I love Superman, and I have for as long as I can remember. I wore Superman pajamas as a kid. I watched cartoons like Superman: The Animated Series, Justice League, Legion of Superheroes, and was hyped as hell when he showed up on The Batman cartoon. I drew variations of the S-shield all over the sides of my school notebooks, and I tied a towel around my neck and pretended I could fly.

One of my favorite Xbox games to play was the Superman Returns tie-in game (remember those?), because it was the only game I could play that let me fly around, shooting off heat vision and freezing people with arctic breath. I still remember the opening that had you destroy asteroids, and being absolutely wowed as a kid by the big finale which had you slam into the largest asteroid at supersonic speed to destroy it. Took me forever to beat the Warworld arena level though because I didn’t know how to block.

Because there were no local comic shops near my home for me to go buy issues at (not that I even knew what a local comic shop was at the time), I kept up with his, and the rest of my favorite DC heroes adventures, via reading the DC wiki. I spent so much of my time waiting for my mom to get off the computer so I could go online and catch up that my parents installed parental blocks because they were worried about what I was doing.

In short he’s been a constant favorite of mine throughout childhood, through my teenage years, and straight on into adulthood. I never developed the dislike or distaste for him that some people did, and he never dropped out of the top spot for me like he did for others. There were times when he shared the top spot for me with Batman and Spider-Man, until One More Day wrecked my relationship with Spidey and I grew bored of the endless cycles of Batman being a dick to the Batfamily and then learning he needs them. But even throughout his lowest points (and God have there been so many of those in the last decade), he’s remained the top guy for me.

But why? I think it’s in part because of the type of genre he embodies. He is of course The Superhero, and he lives in the genre he founded, but he also lives in a type of optimistic science fiction genre that’s downright extinct nowadays. As a kid I was a massive science fiction fan, and my dad was friends with a guy who was also hugely into science fiction. This guy had a basement full of science fiction books written from the Golden Age of Science Fiction, up until the cyberpunk era kicked off in the 1980s. He was happy to hand novels off to me, and his private library beat the hell out of our public one. I devoured stories of fearless heroes in space exploring new worlds, first contact with alien races, mindbending new technologies that seemed like magic, about transcending our mortal flesh and becoming part of a universal, transcendental whole, stories that didn’t just talk about technology but about the human condition. Stories that while sometimes bleak, painted a positive picture of the human ability to overcome our inherent flaws and be a powerful force for good. And ultimately Superman speaks from the same source.

It’s not just about the powers, although those who completely dismiss their appeal are making a mistake I believe. It’s about humanity, about our ability to transcend our base natures, reflected in this Strange Visitor from Another Planet, who embodies our virtues and our vices, who is torn between the fear of doing too much and the fear of doing too little. Who hides his true self behind a pair of glasses because he craves the fellowship of humanity more than any amount of glory or riches. His no-kill rule a firm affirmation of the value of life, all life everywhere no matter it’s form. His greatest love, Lois Lane, is his co-worker and greatest rival as a reporter, who has everyone’s number in her phone, be they crime lord or living saint. His greatest friend, Jimmy Olsen, is the guy everyone else ignores or bosses around, but is a rich kid weirdo who gets up to all sorts of bizarre adventures that keep the Daily Planet afloat. His childhood friends are superheroes from the future, his home City of Metropolis is 10 years ahead of everyone else in terms of technology, his dog can shatter concrete via barking at it, his home den is a ice crystal castle situated at the North Pole, like Santa’s Workshop. In short his life is one where even the mundane corners hide fantastical attributes. By living among us, he helps to elevate us, to make our daily grind interesting by seeing through the lens of his life. As others have said, we walk our dogs around the block, he walks his around the solar system.

But it would be a mistake to assume that Superman doesn’t tackle the darker sides of life too. Even the most optimistic sci-fi novels that I read as a kid had dystopic elements in them, intended or not. His home planet of Krypton was our technological superior, yet ignored the warnings of it’s chief scientist, and died a victim of it’s own greed and arrogance with Kal-El as the Last Son. His birth parents died in the fires of self-perpetuated genocide, his adopted parents the Kents often fall to mundane heart diseases or accidents, which even his power can not save them from. His greatest enemy Lex Luthor, is the one person who can understand his loneliness, his need for the public’s approval and acceptance, and yet the shared enmity between the two has ruined any chance of them forming a friendship that could have been. The shining City of Metropolis venerates Luthor as well as Clark, reflecting the greed, selfishness, and callousness of it’s other favorite child. Suicide Slum stands as a testament to the limits of how much Superman can improve life. The Phantom Zone is a spinechilling example of the inhumane treatment of prisoners. His foes ran the gauntlet from greedy businessmen out for money at any cost, to victims who have suffered at humanity’s hands and seek revenge, to sociopaths who treat other peoples pain and lives as a source of amusement, to murderers who care not from where the blood flows, only that it does, to tyrants who seek to crush all resistance underneath their heel, to gods who wish the elimination of free will itself. Each of them force Superman to confront the fallibility of human nature and wrestle with whether or not his faith in both them and himself is justified.

In a sentence? I love Superman because he’s a character you can do almost anything with, from comedic hijinks, to serious dramas, to distributing horror stories, to exciting adventure stories. He reminds me of the best type of science fiction stories, ones that explore people and existence from all sorts of angles, that never lose sight of the emotional human core at the heart of all the high concept existential concepts. He’s made me laugh, cry, think, get motivated, get angry, and sometimes just get writing. He brings the big ideas and the human emotions that keep me reading comics throughout all the Big 2′s bullshit. He still believes in the human capacity for good, in spite of our flaws, in spite of how few of us seem to believe in that capacity ourselves, and he shows us that it’s still there by touching our hearts through his stories. That’s why I like Superman, and why he’s my favorite superhero.

#superman #dc comics #lex luthor #lois lane #me

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jedi-order-apologist · 4 years

Note

- I know ol’ Palps is a big doodoo liar pants but one of his line stuck out to me and I’d like to share my thoughts. He says “The Sith and the Jedi are similar in almost every way, including their quest for greater power.” Now, we obviously (hopefully) know that’s bullshit but I think it gives an interesting look into Papa Palp’s (and by extension, the Sith’s) philosophy on power in comparison to what we know about the Jedi. Hear me out. (1/3)

- The Jedi value and seek things like knowledge, wisdom, self-control, justice, and love. To them, these are powerful, however, these things are typically not associated with power—true power—in either our culture or the Sith’s. Be that as it may, in pursuing these things, the Jedi actually do gain power as it is traditionally defined, almost unintentionally. Jedi have combat skills enough to dominate most life forms in the galaxy, can influence the minds of other sentient beings, (2/3)

- and eventually even achieve immortality. These things are supremely powerful according to most definitions and yet they are not the type of power the Jedi actively seek for their own sake. But the Sith do seek them. And although they have the first two, the most of coveted of them—immortality—still eludes them. So from a certain point of view, Palps is right in saying both groups seek power. However what power means to each of them are very different. (3/3)

You could look at it that way, yeah - the Sith seek power to control others; the Jedi seek power to control oneself, and Palpatine either doesn't understand the difference or he's disingenuously conflating the two to manipulate Anakin (or both). But I think it goes further than that - the Jedi have power, yes, and they work towards developing their individual power as a means of using it responsibly, but they aren't obsessed with it or with gaining more like the Sith are. The Jedi have (or at least strive for) a healthy, cautious, balanced engagement with power - neither insisting on being powerless nor focused on being the most powerful there can be, but instead accepting where their power lies and how they can put it to use in the service of society, not over society.

I think Yoda's confrontation with Dooku in Yoda: Dark Rendezvous, where he challenges Dooku to turn him to the dark side, is an excellent demonstration of the difference in this attitude towards power between the Jedi and Sith:

“You want me to tell you about the power of the dark side?” Dooku said wonderingly.

Yoda had the dragon’s eyes again: half closed, gleaming under heavy lids. “Strong, strong the dark side is in this place,” he murmured. “Touch it you can, like a serpent’s belly sliding under your hand. Taste it, like blood in the air…Tell me of the dark side, apprentice.”

“I’m not your apprentice anymore,” Dooku said.

Yoda snuffed: laughed: stirred the air with his crooked stick. “You think Yoda stops teaching, just because his student does not want to hear? Yoda a teacher is. Yoda teaches like drunkards drink. Like killers kill,” he said softly. “But now, you be the teacher, Dooku. Tell me: is it hard to find the power of the dark side?”

“No. The lore of the Sith—that is another matter. But to touch the power of the dark side, to begin to know it, all you have to do is…allow yourself. Relax. We carry the dark side within ourselves,” Dooku said. “Surely you must know that by now. Surely even Yoda has felt it. Half of life, dark to balance light, waits inside you like an orphan. Waiting to be welcomed home.

“We all desire, Yoda. We all fear. We are all beset. A Jedi learns to suppress these things: to ignore these things: to pretend they don’t exist, or if they do, they apply to someone else, not us. Not the pure. Not the Protectors.” Dooku found himself beginning to pace. “To know the dark side is merely to stop lying. Stop pretending you don’t want what you want. Stop pretending you don’t fear what you fear. Half the day is night, Master Yoda. To see truly, you have to learn to see in the dark.”

“Mmmmmmmm.” Yoda hummed and grunted, eyes nearly closed now. “The dark side, power would give me.”

“Power over all. When you understand your own evils and the evils of others, it makes them pitifully easy to manipulate. It’s another kind of push-feather,” the Count said. “The dark side will show you the stiff places in a being. His dreads and needs. The dark side gives you the keys to him.”

“Hmph. Very fine that is, but Yoda has power,” the ancient Master said, examining his hairy toes. “I live in a palace bigger than this one, if I count the Temple as a palace. Dooku is a master of armies: but Yoda is a master of armies, too. So far, we are even.”

“Is there such a thing as too much power?” Dooku mused. “For instance,” he continued carefully, “there was a day when your power was clearly greater than mine. Today, however, I have waxed as you have waned. You stand in my citadel. I have at my command servants and droids and great powers of my own that I think would overwhelm even you. It is possible that at a single word, I could have you killed. And without you, how long would those dear to you last? I could have them, one by one: Mace and Iron Hand, Obi-Wan and precious young Skywalker, too. Surely you would feel safer if this were not so.”

Yoda cocked his head to one side. “Like Anakin, you do not?”

“Perhaps he reminds me too much of myself at the same age. Arrogant. Impulsive. Proud. I realize humility is high among the Enforced Virtues, the ones no one acquires by choice; but that being said, if Fate is looking for an instrument to humble Skywalker, I confess myself willing to volunteer.”

Yoda reached behind his back with his stick, trying to scratch a spot just between his shoulder blades. “Power over beings, need I not. What else can it give me, this dark side of yours?”

“What game are you playing here, Master Yoda?”Yoda smiled at the use of the term Master—curse him—and shrugged. “No game. Wasteful, this war is. Even you agree. Sent you the candle, did I: you know there can be coming home for you. Know this, both of us do, and if come back to the Temple you wish, I will take you there.”

“Very kind,” Dooku said dryly. “Decent of you to give me an arm to lean on.”

“Always catch you will I, when you fall,” Yoda said. “I swore it.”

Dooku flinched as if stung.

“But another way to solve the war there is. If you will not join with me, perhaps join with you I should. Tell me more,” Yoda said testily. “If power over beings need I not, what else can your dark side do for me?”

“What do you want?” Dooku snapped. “Tell me what you want and I will show you how the dark side can help you achieve it. Do you want friends? The dark side can compel them for you. Lovers? The dark side understands passion in a way you never have. Do you want riches—endless life—deep wisdom…?”

“I want…” Yoda held up the flower in his hand and took another sniff. “I want a rose.”

“Be serious,” Dooku said impatiently.

“Serious am I!” Yoda cried. He bounced to his feet. Standing on the desktop, he was almost as tall as Dooku. He held the flower imperiously toward his former pupil. “Another rose, make for me!”

“The dark side springs from the heart,” Dooku said. “It isn’t a handbook for cheap conjuror’s tricks.”

“But like this trick, do I!” Yoda said. “The trick that brings the flower from the ground. The trick that sets the sun on fire.”

“The Force is not magic. I can’t create a flower out of thin air. Nobody can—not you, not the Lord of the Sith.”

Yoda blinked. “My Force does. Binds every living thing, the Force I understand.”

“Master, these are games of words. The Force is as it has always been. The dark side is not a different energy. To use it is only to open yourself to new ways to command that energy, that have to do with the hearts of beings. Want something else. Want power.”

“Power have I.”

“Want wealth.”

“Wealth I need not.”

“Want to be safe,” Dooku said in frustration. “Want to be free from fear!”

“I will never be safe,” Yoda said. He turned away from Dooku, a shapeless bundle under a battered, acid-eaten cloak. “The universe is large and cold and very dark: that is the truth. What I love, taken from me will be, late or soon: and no power is there, dark or light, that can save me. Murdered, Jai Maruk was when the looking after him I had; and Maks Leem; and all the many, many more Jedi I have lost. My family they were.”

“So be angry about that!” Dooku said. “Hate! Rage! Despair! Allow yourself, just once, to stop playing at the game of Jedi Knight, and admit what you have always known: you are alone, and you are great, and when the world strikes you it is better to strike back than to turn your cheek. Feel, Yoda! I can feel the darkness rising in you. Here, in this place, be honest for once and feel the truth about yourself.”

At this moment Yoda turned, and Dooku gasped. Whether it was the play of the holomonitors, beaming their views of bleak space and distant battles, or some other trick of the light, Yoda’s face was deeply hidden in the shadows, mottled black and blue, so that for one terrible instant he looked exactly like Darth Sidious. Or rather, it was Yoda as he might have been, or could yet become: a Yoda gone rotten, a Yoda whose awesome powers had been utterly unleashed by his connection to the dark side. In a flash Dooku saw how foolish he had been, trying to urge the old Master to the dark side. If Yoda ever turned that way, Sidious himself would be annihilated. The universe had yet to comprehend the kind of evil that a Jedi Knight of nearly nine hundred years could wield.

From the shadows, Yoda spoke. “Disappointment like I not, apprentice,” he snarled, in a wicked, wicked voice. “Give me my rose!”

To Dooku, there is never enough power. It's a goal in and of itself, and he's convinced he can have anything as long as he has enough power, even impossible things like never again being afraid, and he frantically shifts around the goalposts when Yoda picks apart the flaws in his logic.

Yoda, on the other hand, recognizes the limits of power and is satisfied with that, with what he has. And it's Yoda who has the much healthier outlook, here, who "wins" this debate. He doesn't turn to the dark side (what Dooku sees at the end of the excerpt is only a vision), and he renders Dooku very conflicted about the dark side (at least until Anakin shows up, and Dooku is so offended by Anakin's existence and his own conviction that Yoda likes Anakin more than him that he throws a fit and jumps right back into the dark side).

#the-redcapesarecoming #discussion #yoda dark rendezvous #on the force #in defense of the jedi #on the dark side #on jedi philosophy #yoda #dooku

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goddessofeternity · 3 years

Text

Inari’s Den

Chapter 7: Small Steps

It had been only three days since the wedding and we were already returning “home”. We had not really spoken since then and I was glad for it. The silence gave me time to think and plan what I would do next. He claimed to be a gentleman but it was clearly bullshit. I crossed my legs as we bumped along the road in a carriage. He had been looking over some paperwork the last few days and I’m sure it was to avoid speaking to me. That was fine, because talking to him gave me a headache.

I missed my parents terribly, and I hoped that they didn’t worry too much about me. I suspect they were worried he might have killed me during the honeymoon, but I would not go down so easily. A member of my fathers task force had been watching over me the entire time, so I was safe. I glanced at Takeshi and he just thumbed through his paperwork. I rolled my eyes and huffed as I sank in my seat and stared out the window in displeasure. We entered the territory and the people were looking with wide eyes as the carriage stopped. Takeshi still didn’t spare me a glance as he stepped out, and the people were quick to greet him. I sighed and went to get out, and I was surprised as he finally looked at me and held his hand out. I pursed my lips and grasped it as he helped me down from the carriage. The silence that overtook us spoke volumes, but I kept my head held high as we went to “our” home.

“Welcome back Lord and Lady Igarashi…” I frowned at the name but I didn’t say anything. Takeshi released my hand as we entered the mansion. The servants did nothing to hide their clear displeasure of me. I briefly saw Shino greet Takeshi, but I ignored her attempts to talk to me.

Traitor.

“Izumi!” My ears perked up as I heard my mother and father call my name. I rushed to them as they embraced me and kissed my face. “Oh my sweet girl...I’m so glad to see you’re alright.”

“I’m happy to see you both as well…” I felt so much better seeing them again. It was only a few days, but being with someone I despised was infuriating. “How long have you both been here?”

“We only arrived a few hours ago, we knew that you would be coming back today. We thought that seeing some familiar faces would do you well.” My mother brushed her hands through my hair as she nuzzled me again. My father exchanged a glance with Takeshi before he left us alone.

“Are you alright Izumi?” My father looked at me and I smiled weakly at him.

“Yes, we got into a brief screaming match, but we haven’t really spoken to each other the last two days. He didn’t...touch me either.”

My parents exchanged a look at that, but otherwise didn’t say anything about it. We had a brief conversation, but they could not stay long and it broke my heart. I knew they had to settle clan matters back at home, but I wish they didn’t. My father would soon pass the role of clan head over to me soon, but that meant I would essentially have to share it with Takeshi as his...wife. His father was sure to pass his role over to Takeshi in the next few days. Once my parents had left, I took the time to explore my new residence. I briefly remember Takeshi telling me that I could change things around if I wished. I would take him up on that offer.

“Izumi…” I turned around annoyed as my old friend Shino stood behind me with a nervous glance. “If you need help with anything…I would be glad to help you.”

“I don’t need your help with anything. You should be ashamed to even be here right now. Your family has disowned you and now you want to talk to me?! I thought you were my friend….my best friend.”

“I am your friend...I will always be your friend Izumi! You have no idea-”

“You know what this family has done to our clans! Everything they have taken from us! Don’t ever speak to me again!” I turned away from her and walked down the halls hastily. I wiped the sudden tears that sprang to my eyes. Everyone in this godforsaken place was trying to play me like a fool. I would not let them try and sway my heart or my mind.

I wandered aimlessly through the long halls of my new home. I could feel the angry eyes of the people around me and it made me want to set the place alight. I finally stopped my pacing as I somehow found my way to the main bedroom. Opening the door, I couldn’t stop the gasp escaping from my lips. The room was beautiful and fresh flowers were in pots around the room. The bed was massive and was lined with red silk sheets and a sheer curtain hung around the frame of the bed. I ran my hands over the sheets, but I scoffed at the flower petals on the bed. A small desk and chair set was near the window. A bonsai plant was seated on the window, and a rock fountain was on a high shelf. A large closet held a bunch of my clothing in it, and regrettably so was his. I had to admit that I like the paper lanterns hanging from the ceiling. The gold and red décor was pleasant though. I plucked through the bookcase by the bed and I found myself absorbed in its material. My brother used to read to me a lot when I was young. I felt an immense sadness though as I read the books. I sank to the floor by the bed and figured I had a bit of time to read.

“Lady Izumi…” I flinched and quickly stood up as Takeshi stood by the door with a tray of food in his grasp. I frowned as he looked at me with a tilt of his head. He stood expectantly at the door and I stood and tossed the book on the bed. “You didn’t come down for dinner, so I thought I would bring it to you.”

“What?” I looked towards the window and sighed as the stars brightened up the dark sky. “How did all that time pass…”

“You like to read? I can get more books procured for you if you’d like.” I crossed my arms as he walked over and placed the tray down on the nightstand. I moved away from him and he sighed before he crossed his arms as well. “I’m sorry that I have not spoken to you the last few days. Some clan matters rose up and I needed to handle them.”

“....” I narrowed my eyes at that and he pulled some paperwork from his robes. “I suspect you’re going to offer that to me as a sign of goodwill?”

“Yes and no. I told you that you would be the lady of the house and you will be informed of all matters that I overlook. I always told myself when I take a wife that she would be involved in everything and I’m keeping my word to myself.” He continued to hold the papers out to me, and although I made a face, I took them from him and plopped down on the bed. I rolled my eyes at his chuckle as he walked around the room to the closet.

“Mmmm…” I tried to hide my surprise at what I was reading. It seemed as though he was trying to work out a deal with the other clans to send more supplies to my territory. Flipping through the pages, I saw that was what most of it was about. There was only one page dedicated to his territory.

“You should eat...before you get absorbed in your reading again.” I glanced up at him as he poured a cup of tea and held it out to me.

“Why are you so concerned with my territory? Your territory also experienced some damage from my people.”

“I just want to right some wrongs and it is the right thing to do. Besides, my father and brother went a bit overboard attacking everything. My people...our people here will be ok for some time.” He took the documents from me and pushed the cup into my hand. I sniffed it gingerly before looking up at him angrily.

“I know that your mother is well versed in poisons…” He blinked surprised like he had forgotten that fact, but he poured himself a cup and drank from it.

“An oversight on my part…” He ate some of the food and gave me a welcoming look and I scoffed and grabbed the tray. Walking to the balcony, I laid the food out and he joined me and sat across from me. Snapping my chopsticks apart, I silently ate my food and he followed suit. For once, it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence. I looked over the landscape and quietly enjoyed the beauty of this land. It was nice and quiet, it was surprising to think about that considering I had tried to burn it to the ground not too long ago.

I eyed Takeshi as he quietly ate his meal, he didn’t seem to be perturbed by much of anything and I wondered if he thought it was because he was superior to me in some capacity. Clearing my throat, he looked up and placed his chopsticks down.

“Yes?”

“This is far far too easy for you. You’ve slipped into this role of a husband and “nice” man too easily. You must really think I’m going to fall for that huh?”

“Lady Izumi….” He sighed and ran his hand through his hair, his tails swishing in an annoyed manner. “Contrary to your belief, this is not easy for me. I just want to make the best of this situation for us both. I will admit that you are a very difficult woman to get to know, but I will not just give up. I think you are perfectly capable and very intelligent, especially these last few days. I’ve taken notice of the dagger you’ve been sleeping with, I still view you as my enemy, just as I know you do me.”

“......”

“This...marriage is going to be a loveless tango, and I know that is something we have both expected. I hope that we can build some semblance of respect and trust for each other. I know that you care for your people as I do mine. I hope that we can both agree on doing what is best for them.”

“....Yes....” I hated that he was right, I hated it so much, but he was. My people needed this to go well at least for now. I would bide my time and wait all of this out. It would go bad at some point and I intended to be ready for it. “I will...be on better behavior. I only ask for one thing though.”

“Ok…”

“Get rid of Shino. I will not stand to see her everywhere I look. She’s already become an eyesore and I just got here.”

“I’m sorry Lady Izumi but she is under my protection and she is my assistant. I’m afraid that I can’t honor your request.”

“Why not? I thought we were going to try and be accommodating to each other. One woman should not be that hard to be rid of.”

“It is for personal reasons. I would have hoped that you had spoken to her, but I see that is not the case.”

“Personal reasons? What would-” I clenched my teeth as I cut myself off and looked him up and down. “Oh...that’s what is going on...I should have known…”

“Huh? Oh! No no...we are not intimate with each other if that is what you are thinking. She just handles some things for me and schedules meetings for me.”

“I don’t really care anymore. At least you are doing it with her and not me.” I pushed my food away, my appetite quickly diminished. “I guess we have nothing further to discuss then.”

“Lady Izumi...I think that you should speak with her.” I rolled my eyes and was about to leave but he stopped me again. “If you talk to her at least once, then I will send her away.”

“Ugh...fine…” Entering the bedroom again, I realized quickly that I was face to face with another problem. I had no place to escape now that we were back. We both would need to sleep in this bed together and my stomach turned at that thought. Takeshi cleaned up the food and stopped beside me with a sigh.

“I have packed some of my clothes. I will be sleeping two doors down if you need anything.” Not waiting for my response, he walked away without another word. “Your attendants will be here in the morning. Good night Lady Izumi.” He quietly shut the door and I crawled into the massive bed with a heavy sigh. I had no idea how I would be able to pull this off for much longer. I guess it would just be a waiting game at this point, and I hated sitting around doing nothing.

Sitting back up, I looked around the room for some paper and ink. I suppose I could keep busy and decorate the place. I would start with a list of things that I want, and hopefully the servants around here would follow through. Despite it all, he seemed like a man that was good on his word, so I’d be stunned to see it firsthand. I spent most of the night writing down some changes I wanted, and a few for this god forsaken village. I had to play my part somehow, and I would do it well.

I barely felt my eyelids grow heavy, and I was asleep before my mind could even register it.

~~~

I jolted awake to see some servants standing next to the bed. I sat up quickly and took notice that somehow I ended up on the bed, despite knowing I was not here last. I narrowed my eyes as the ladies gave obvious annoyed bows and went about laying my clothes for the day out. I growled low in my throat and they whispered a good morning to me. This would be an interesting day and that was the last thing I wanted, but I said nothing as they dressed me and did my hair. Once they left, I strapped my dagger on my leg and walked the long halls. It didn’t take long for me to miss the smell of my mothers cooking. Nor did it take long for me to miss my father trying to sneak her pastries from the kitchen. I smiled to myself just thinking about it, and I could almost hear them arguing. My walk became less steady and more slow and sad. Thankfully no one seemed to really wander this section of the mansion. I imagine it was because this was where the family generally resided.

I was surprised that Takeshi’s family didn’t stay behind with us, but I suspect it was to let us have our own space. His sibling was going to be born soon, so I guess the change in scenery was needed. Kana Igarashi did nothing to hide her displeasure of me, and I returned that feeling in kind. Stopping out on the veranda, I breathed in the cold air of winter. I saw our mountains in the distance and missed trekking through them with my father. I wondered when I would get the chance to do that again. I rubbed my arms and frowned as I heard footsteps behind me.

“Izumi…” I stifled my sigh and gestured for her to join me out on the veranda. She joined me quickly and I continued to look at the mountains. “Takeshi-sama told me to look for you this morning. He said that you wanted to talk.”

“I don’t want to talk to you. I only agreed to this because he would get rid of you if I hear out your plea or whatever.”

“Oh….” I couldn’t help but look back at her. The tone in her voice made me frown, and I felt bad that I could only see her in a bad light. Some things ran too deep I suppose, and our friendship used to be one of them. Pursing my lips, I faced her fully and her eyes were shining with tears.

“Shino....”

“I...I miss you Izumi. I miss my best friend and I...I have so much that I need to say to you.” Her hands shook as she gripped her kimono. I stepped forward and wiped her tears, I could never stand to see her upset, no matter how mad I was at her. “The last few months I...I have been so thankful for Takeshi-sama.”

“What? Why is that?” I tried to hide my displeasure at that, more intent on hearing what she had to say. She had as much cause to hate him as I did. Hell, at one point she was on the warpath worse than I was. She prayed to the gods for his death for months.

“Back when they attacked your home...I...I was helping some of the servants leave.” Her tears fell onto her kimono as she sank to the floor. I knelt beside her, suddenly very worried about her now. “I...I...I was i-in the kitchen and...I ran into...J-Jin Igarashi...I…”

“Easy Shino...deep breaths…”

“I...h-he...he assaulted me...o-over and over...suffocating me...just his body...c-crushing me...a-and-” I couldn’t bear to hear anymore as I pulled her into my arms. Her cries broke my heart and I could do nothing but hold her and whisper comforting words into her ears. I held her as tight as I could, hoping to drown out her tears. I would hate for anyone to hear and see her like this.

“Shino I...I am so sorry...if...if I had known I…” I felt like such a failure. A failure as a friend, a failure as the next head. I just felt like a failure. I had to do better for everyone and I was so hyper focused on my revenge. That time would come eventually, but for now I had to play my part. After making sure that she was ok, I left the room in a rush. I would make sure that bastard got a piece of my mind. The servants all gave me weary looks as I stormed down the hall to Takeshi’s study.

I threw open the doors of his study and closed them with a harsh slam. Takeshi looked up with a frown and before he could say anything, I slammed my hand down on the table and leaned over it with a harsh glare. “Where is your brother?”

“.....I don’t know....” He leaned back and cleaned up some of the papers from his desk. “I have not seen him since before the wedding. My parents have not seen him either. I suspect you spoke with Shino-san?”

“Yes I did and I don’t want to see him anywhere near her again! Or I will kill him! If you had any decency you would have punished him for this!”

“I will have you know that I wanted nothing more than to give my brother a harsh sentence. I was the one who found him...on top of her. I will have you know that I beat him down and informed my father. He was locked up until your attack on our home. He has been evading any sort of punishment by sticking close to my mother. She is not aware of what he has done. It would break her heart to learn he has done such a thing.”

“What about how Shino feels?! Who gives a damn about what your mother will think! My best friend was raped by your brother! You just decided to take her in and I...I…” I trailed off as I lifted my hands from his desk. I should have been there for her, I should have been a much better friend. “I should have been there for her…”

“You did not know. How could you have known?” He stood and placed his hand on my shoulder. I was so stupid, and I’m sure he thought I was too. “You can’t blame yourself for the actions of my foolish brother.”

I looked up at him and his reassuring smile actually made me feel a little bit better. It was odd how much he seemed to make me feel better. He was trying so hard to get along with me, but I just could not get over my feelings. I needed to hate him and we were just at war not too long ago. The wounds were far too deep and I still needed to keep on my toes. I moved from his grasp and left without another word. My life here seemed to grow more difficult by the second.

I rubbed my arms as I silently walked through the mansion. Shino was still waiting for me on the veranda and I sank into her embrace. She rubbed my ears and I let out a breath as I looked at the leaves falling from the trees. The year was coming to a close, and it would be the start of more changes.

~~~

Lady Izumi had been silent for the last few days and I could not blame her after everything that she had learned. Although, it was good to see Shino-san happy and smiling. The pair had been inseparable since they reconnected, but I couldn't help but feel worried, especially since my brother was still nowhere to be found. A few of my men say they think they had spotted him, but they weren’t exactly sure about it. I would have to worry about that when my meeting was over. Yamaguchi-sama had shown up to discuss things about the clans moving forward, and I had a feeling it would be an interesting meeting.

Lady Izumi decided not to get involved in the affairs and instead went to see around the town, but I could only hope it went well. Arriving outside the doors, I let out a deep breath as I opened the doors. I was surprised to see my father and my brother at the table. They both nodded at me, but my brother had his gaze fixed on Yamaguchi-sama. His red eyes were blazing with such hatred and I knew this was going to go awful. Hopefully, I could keep the peace throughout all of it.

“Father, Jin, Yamaguchi-sama…” I nodded to them all as I took my seat at the table. My father was about to greet me, but Jin beat him to it.

“What, you can’t address your new father-in-law with a more familial title? We are now family are we not?” Jin looked at me with a smirk before he looked at Yamaguchi-sama with a glare.

“I don’t think that is appropriate Jin. We still all carry bitter feelings so soon after the war.”

“Oh really? I thought a wedding is supposed to bring people together. Is everything not good in paradise already? Where is my lovely sister-in-law?”

“That is none of your business Jin. Let us begin the meeting.” My father looked at Jin like he wanted to tear his head off. Yamaguchi-sama looked ready to do the same. As we cycled through the paperwork, I had a feeling that Jin only arrived now to start trouble for everyone and make this meeting fall apart. I would not allow him to have his way any longer. This was important for us all, and if I had to put my own brother down then so be it.

“My daughter is now the head of the Yamaguchi clan since I am retiring, which means that all the duties of our people belong to her. I will not stand for you to be in control of our territory.” Yamaguchi-sama started as he crossed his arms and looked me in the eyes, silently challenging me.

“Your daughter is now in our family. She has to relinquish her duties to my son as his wife. This is non-negotiable and you know that. All her rights go to her husband, my son!”

“Well then I guess we will have a problem here because that is not what is going to happen.”

“I see that you are still a stubborn fool.”

“I will not let you try and manipulate my daughter Zeno,” Yamaguchi-sama growled and I sighed as it already started to go bad and Jin seemed to be reveling in it. He looked over at me and winked and I spoke up before it could go from bad to worse.

“I told Lady Izumi that she would not be subservient to me in the slightest.”

“Takeshi what are you-”

“Father please...I told her that I would let my wife be involved in any and every affair that revolves around our people and home. I am going to stick to that, so that is not something we need to discuss.”

“What is your game here boy?” Yamaguchi-sama looked at me with cautious eyes and I could not blame him. Although, it was amusing to see that was where she got her stubborn and cautious attitude from.

“Like I have been telling your daughter...I just want this to be all over. I want peace between our two clans. I seek nothing more than that.”

“Hn.” He looked back at my father, but Jin took that time to speak up.

“So little brother...have you had a run through her cherry fields yet? I bet it’s incredibly sweet down there. You might have to share with me sometime-” A sword at his throat cut him off and my father and Yamaguchi-sama were facing each other with their swords drawn and I rushed up between them.

“How dare you disrespect my daughter in front of me! I will have your head for this! Filthy Igarashi trash!”

“Raise your blade to my son again and I will raise hell upon your insolent clan! You Yamaguchi scum will be reduced to nothing but grovel under my boot!”

“Father please!” I pushed both men back down as Jin chuckled and I grabbed him by the collar and dragged him to the door. “You and I will have a discussion later.” I slammed the door in his face before I looked back at the former heads about to draw their blades again.

This was going to be a long discussion.

~~~

After over five hours of yelling and things being thrown and almost having my head cut off, we finally reached a reasonable decision. The Yamaguchi clan would share their resources from their mountains and we would do the same. Peace between the clans would have to be slowly integrated immediately. The people would have to get used to each other for this to work in the long run. Talks with the other clans would have to be started soon since we did have some help, and they needed to be compensated for their efforts. Lady Izumi would have her say in every meeting and she would still have control of the Yamaguchi clan, but she would need to discuss her choices with me. The treaty had been solidified with the wedding, but my father requested that any harm to either of us would void everything. I did not miss the brief look that crossed Yamaguchi-sama’s face. I suppose I would need to keep a closer eye on Lady Izumi. She was still a threat under my own roof, but it seemed she wanted to kill me still. I would have to show her that I wanted this to work.

Jin had miraculously disappeared after I threw him out, but I was honestly glad for it, because dealing with him was sure to give me a headache. I had far too many things to worry about than my problematic brother. A thought rushed to my head that had me sprinting to the main entrance and off to the markets. The people looked confused as I frantically looked for Lady Izumi and Shino-san. I let out a sigh of relief as I spotted them talking to some children and a vendor.

I cleared my throat and straightened my back as I went over to them. I waved at some of the people as I made my way over. Shino-san saw me first and smiled which caught Lady Izumi’s attention. She looked behind her, but spotting me she rolled her eyes and went back to her shopping.

“All done with your meeting I see…”

“Yes, but don’t you want to see your father off?”

“If I do that, then I’ll want to leave with him and never return.” I watched as her shoulders slumped a bit, and Shino-san left us to play with the children. I watched her as she did but I also glanced around for my brother.

“You could at least pretend to be interested in me.”

“Huh?” I glanced at Lady Izumi as she held her hands on her hips. Her golden eyes looked at me with a lukewarm gaze. “What do you mean?”

“You’re staring at Shino.”

“Oh! No you see…” I moved closer and bent next to her ear. “My brother was at the meeting...so I rushed over here after it was done.”

“What?! He’s here now?!”

“I have not seen him yet, but I just wanted to make sure regardless.” She frowned as she looked me up and down before she reached into her pocket.

“Here.”

“Hmm?” She placed a small box into my hand and I opened it to find a small weapon charm in it. “You bought this for me?”

“It’s...just a peace offering is all. I thought I could stand and try to be cordial, especially after all the things you are doing for Shino.”

“Thank you Lady Izumi.”

“Well...don’t expect this all of the time. I still hate you and want you dead…” She frowned and glared at me hard. She was serious and the conviction in her eyes was clear, but I could only wonder how long she would feel this way.

“Why don’t we head back to your home?”

“Huh?”

“You miss your parents terribly, and I wouldn’t be a great husband if I kept you from seeing them.” Her tails stood on end and the happy twitch of her ears told me before she could open her mouth.

“You...we can really go?”

“We can catch your father before he heads out if you’d like-” She sped past me before I could finish and I could not help the chuckle that came from my lips. She was an interesting young vixen. I looked back at Shino-san and she walked over with a confused look on her face. “I told her that we would be going back to her territory so she rushed off to catch her father.”

“Oh…” She deflated on the spot and I placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“Perhaps it would be good to see your parents, and talk to them about what has happened. I know they still care for you Shino-san, any parent would be worried about their child.��

“I don’t know about that... they think that I have betrayed the entire family. In a way...I feel like maybe I really have…”

“You survived a horrible ordeal Shino-san and I will personally speak with them if you would like.”

She looked me over several times when I said that, her gaze was calculating and a tad judgmental, but soon she smiled and shook her head. “You’re gonna be a good influence on her. I just wonder...if she’ll be able to forgive you like I did.” I felt my heart sink a bit when she said that, but I knew that it was a conversation that would need to happen sooner or later. I would make sure that this peace would persist, even if it meant a hard conversation. Shino-san patted my shoulder before she left for the mansion, I nodded at a guard to watch over us just as a carriage pulled up next to me.

Lady Izumi was beaming and happily talking with her father when I entered the carriage, she didn’t even glance my way. I leaned my hand on my chin as I watched the pair converse. I started to miss my mother and had to make note to see her soon. My new sibling would be here soon and I was worried about my mother. All of her bedrest was concerning, but she rolled her eyes at our concern.

“So...Takeshi-san….”

“Yes, Yamaguchi-sama?”

“What is the reason for the sudden visit to our territory?”

“Oh...well Lady Izumi has been a bit down lately and I thought this would perk her up. It is always good to see family as much as possible.”

“Hmm…” Lady Izumi sighed before she relaxed against her father and he patted her hand. The pair silently conversed and I thought about what I would need to do next. Repairs would need to be made around both villages and an expansion of our territories needs to happen soon. The other clans had been neutral during all of the fighting, but I had a feeling that they were just biding their time. I had no proof of my suspicions at the moment, but hopefully that was all it was. Both clans didn’t need to be thrust into another war so soon.

Arriving in the Yamaguchi territory, I was greeted with hard looks but I had tough skin so it didn’t really bother me that much. I kept my head held high as I went into the main compound. I was surprised to be greeted by my mother-in-law.

“Oh! Izumi...and Takeshi-san....” She walked forward with a faint smile as she kissed her husband and daughter.

“I’m sorry for the short notice.”

“Well I made some mochi cakes if you would like some?” Lady Izumi sprinted off to the kitchen and I followed with a smile. I could feel the eyes of her parents trained on my back, and I realized that I had not informed anyone about where I was going. I was in the heart of their home, and anything could happen. The treaty and terms were made only an hour ago, but a piece of paper could not stop old feelings. I kept walking though, because I would not let them think I was nervous.

“Izumi!” I looked into the kitchen with wide eyes as Lady Izumi paused while eating the mochi cakes. It seemed that she had barely left any for the rest of us. I couldn’t help the laugh I released as she looked at the ground while her mother scolded her. Her father sighed beside me and went to eat what was left. He held one out to me and I graciously accepted it. I had to admit the cakes were very mouth watering and I would have to ask for the recipe.

Lady Izumi and her father went off to chat which left me in the kitchen with her mother. I was about to excuse myself, but she tossed an apron at me. I looked at it with a raised brow but her look told me I had no room to question it. Wrapping it around my waist, I rinsed my hands and she made the other cooks leave the room.

“I see that you and my daughter seem to be at least cordial...that’s good…” She cut up some meat and I helped with the vegetables. “My daughter is stubborn like her father and has the temper to match. You need to keep on your toes with her.”

“Yes, my lady.” As I chopped the vegetables, her blade stabbed into the wood of my chopping board. I turned and was face to face with her icy glare. Her blue eyes were like a raging storm as her ears laid flat against her head.

“If I even suspect that you have mistreated my daughter, or harmed a single hair on her head. I will cut that package between your legs and shove it up your ass!”

I swallowed back my nerves as I nodded. “I wish for nothing but the success of this union my lady. I know that...I know that she hates me because of what I did all those years ago, but I-!”

“Not another word!” A second knife at my throat silenced me as Lady Yamaguchi lost her calm anger. She looked ready to keep going and slit my throat, but she shook her head and left the room. I have grown a real knack for talking with the people in this family, but one of these days it was gonna get me killed. The cooks shuffled back into the room and I took that moment to leave quickly. I spent the rest of the afternoon helping out around the village. I think the children warming up to me helped make it easier for the adults to as well. I spent the better part of the day just helping out where I could. The human children spent most of the time playing with my tails. I smiled as I watched them, it was good to see that the war had not robbed them of their innocence. It was not much longer that Lady Izumi joined me at an elderly couples house.

“I’ve heard that you’ve been making your way around the village a lot. The children seem quite fond of you.” I looked down at her from the roof with a shrug.

“I like children...they are always easier to handle than adults. I’m looking forward to the birth of my sibling.” She made a small grunt before she climbed up the ladder. I watched as she grabbed a hammer and held her hand out to me. “You know how to hammer a roof?”

“I doubt it is that difficult...you’re the type to want to finish a task before heading home. You’ll be out all night.” I chuckled as she held some nails between her lips as she took the board from me. I watched her hammer the board for a bit before I continued mine. It wasn’t even five minutes before I heard her shout in pain. I quickly made my way to her side as she held her finger to her mouth. She hissed in anger before tossing the hammer away.

“Let me see…”

“It’s fine...don’t worry about-”

“Not up for discussion.” I carefully grabbed her hand as I looked at her injured finger. It looked like she nailed it right through her finger. I ripped a piece of my shirt off to wrap it around her index finger. She made a face as I tightened it and I smiled because she looked embarrassed about it. “Well that should heal soon enough, do you want to stop?”

“What no?! We just started and I want to get some of this stuff done!” Her ears flattened on her head as she scoffed and went to retrieve her hammer. I stopped myself from rolling my eyes as I went back to help her.

“At least let me show you how to do it. That way you won’t hurt yourself again.” She mumbled in agreement and we set about fixing the roof at a brisk pace. I was surprised that she had come up to join me. I guess maybe she was actually taking an effort not to be angry with me. “Lady Izumi?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you for helping me with this.” Her hammer paused at the nail as her eyebrows furrowed. She looked over at me and surprisingly, she smiled a little.

“Sure. It’s no problem.” I handed her some more boards and we went back to work. It wasn’t until I heard a distinct sound that I stopped. I looked at her and she was already looking at me with a red face. “I...I’m guessing you heard that?”

“....No…” Her face turned even redder and I chuckled at her. “Lady Izumi...we can go and get something to eat. It is getting rather late, and we have done a good job so far. We should inform the couple that we are finished.”

“F-Fine…” Traveling back to Yamaguchi manor, Lady Izumi still looked embarrassed about her stomach rumbling earlier. I fell into step beside her and she looked away with a toss of her head.

“You really are quite the proud vixen...there is nothing wrong with being a bit hungry. Your mother is making quite the feast. You can have your fill then.”

She suddenly looked very uncomfortable when I said that, but I could not figure out why that was. She walked a bit faster and I kept up with her easily. The servants looked at us worriedly and it would be a matter of time before they thought I'd done something to her. Like I thought, Yamaguchi-sama was cooking dinner and I avoided looking her in the eye as she greeted us. I could feel her eyes traveling over me, and I took that as my chance to slip away.

I spotted Lady Izumi’s father feeding some birds outside, he didn’t seem to notice me, so I just kept walking, but his voice stopped my continued escape.

“A word...Takeshi-san…” Of course he noticed me. Now thinking about it, I’m acting like such a coward by avoiding her family. I just liked to avoid conflict whenever I could, but hopefully this chat would be simple and not argumentative.

I descended the stairs and he handed me some bird feed, and we quietly spread them out for the birds. I could hear Lady Izumi laughing with her mother and the sound was quite delightful. I looked at my father-in-law as he just silently fed the birds. There were many things that we could talk about, but I could not read his face. Looking back at the birds, I spread more feed out for them.

“I would suggest you not try and bring up that topic around my wife again.” My ear twitched and I did not miss the acid in his tone. He continued on as I focused on the birds. “You are as sneaky as your father and we are more than prepared for your tricks and deceit. My wife is already under a lot of stress worrying about our daughter and only child under your roof. Bringing up the past will cause her much grief, and if you dare bring it back up...I will gladly start this war up again.”

“I understand Yamaguchi-sama, but nevertheless...I am trying to right my wrongs. I meant no disrespect to you or your wife. I will watch my tongue, but I suggest you not threaten me again. You are not as quick as you used to be...father-in-law.” I looked at him and his eyes blazed angrily, but I ignored his glare to head back into the manor. This family is going to run me ragged before my first year of marriage...if it even got to that point. I really had no idea what to do with this whole arrangement, I did not trust Lady Izumi, but at least I was making an effort to try. I had enough respect for the union and her to try, but now I just seemed to fail at every turn.

“Igarashi-sama….dinner is ready. The family is waiting for you to join them.” I waved away the servant and watched as she walked away. I rubbed my arms as chilly air swam over my skin, it must be nice to be a fire elemental kitsune in winter. My ears twitched as a branch fell from a tree, glancing up, I unsurprisingly saw one of my men looking back at me. I suppose it was a matter of time before they noticed I was gone. I nodded at him to leave as I went back into the house.

“Finally...what were you doing?” Lady Izumi asked as she snapped her chopsticks apart, her mother glared at her as she groaned as she put them back down. “Family tradition says we have to wait till everyone is here to eat. So. Sit. Down.”

“Yes yes...I’m sorry just in my thoughts feeding the birds outside.” I sat across from her and took my chopsticks in hand. “I once again apologize for delaying the meal.”

“Hn.” I didn’t look at my father-in-law because I’m sure it was him that grumbled under his breath. It was also confirmed when his wife hit his hand with a chopstick. Lady Izumi chuckled before she ate her tempura. I silently ate my own meal as I thought about how to approach this family from now on. It would be a difficult road, but probably not more than the war.

“Takeshi-san?”

“Hmm yes?” I looked up from my food as Lady Makoto looked at me. “I’m sorry...my focus has been everywhere lately…”

“I was asking if you and Izumi would be heading back...home tonight.” I saw Lady Izumi deflate a bit from the corner of my eye. “We are having a festival in the village tomorrow. It would be a shame to not have her there.”

“I see no reason why we should go back. She missed her home, so being here for a few days will be good for her.” I did not miss the happy hum that radiated from Lady Izumi and it brought a small smile to my lips.

“Oh great! This means that I can collect some of my things I left behind. Now, let’s continue this meal, because then I can have some mochi cakes!” Lady Makoto sighed at her daughter, and so did her husband. I suppose her sweet tooth would be something I would need to watch out for.

“So...Takeshi-san, I hear that your brother is still causing trouble around our territory.” I blinked at his statement. I had not known that Jin was out here frequently, but I would really have to chain him up somewhere.

“I...I am handling the situation, Yamaguchi-sama. My elder brother is not one for listening to rules and being respectful. You experienced that first hand at the meeting.”

“Yes...your brother needs some sense beaten into him. He can’t control his tongue in a formal setting to literally save his life.” Lady Izumi looked between me and her father curiously, but otherwise said nothing.

“I am quite aware Yamaguchi-sama….I have spent my whole life slapping my brother around. My ears perked up at the sound of a quiet giggle that came from Lady Izumi. I looked at her then, but she cleared her throat and kept eating. I guess that was a start, and I would have to keep it up.

“So...Takeshi-san...I have a question for you.” I looked at Lady Makoto as she twirled her chopsticks between her fingers. “I’ve heard that you like children, yes?”

“Yes...I love children. Why do you ask?” Her line of questioning was a bit odd, but I had a feeling I knew why she asked.

“Should I expect some grandchildren in the near future?” I stared slack jawed at her forward question as Lady Izumi choked on her tea.

“M-Mother!”

“I’m only curious.” Lady Izumi looked at me and I could not bring myself to catch her gaze. “Unless…you don’t prefer the company of women…”

“N-No! I do like women, my lady! I um…”

“Makoto I really don’t want to discuss this at the table…I might lose my appetite.” Lady Makoto said nothing else and continued her meal, and I had never felt more embarrassed in my life. If their plan was to have me die of embarrassment, then they were close to succeeding.

~~~

“Mother!” I hissed through clenched teeth as I helped her clean up the table. She looked at me innocently and that made me flare up more. “Why would you ask him that?!”

“A test…”

“What kind of test is that?!” She sighed before looking around and whispering lowly.

“He did not touch you on your wedding night, correct?”

“Y-Yes…”

“I was trying to gauge his reaction to my rather blunt, but serious question. He has yet to consummate the marriage and that could be because of a few reasons. Having children solidifies an alliance, but he has yet to put his hands on you. I’m trying to see if he’s planning to kill you soon. It could be that they have no intention of you baring his children. In which case…you have to be careful more than ever, Izumi.”

“Mother, I am always careful…well sometimes. You might be right though…he could be planning something. Having his children would be the worst type of torture.”

“What if it meant saving your life?” I was about to quickly retort, but I never even thought of that scenario. Would I sleep with him and bring a child into the world just to live? That…that would be selfish of me.

“I don’t know mother…” She sighed before she kissed my forehead and I went to rest for the night. Entering the room, I forgot that we were expected to share a bed. Takeshi looked up from his book and we shared a weary look.

“I...don’t really have somewhere else to go. I can rest on the futon so you’ll be comfortable.”

“Right…” He moved away from me and went to settle on the futon, and I stared at him as he did. He simply went back to his book and I went to change behind the dividing screen. “Takeshi…”

“Yes?”

“Are you really trying to promote peace between our clans?” I stepped from behind the screen as I ran a hand through my hair. “You, of course, don’t have to answer this question, and you could just lie. I would like to hear your answer though.”

The look he gave me was to be expected, it was suspicious, but it also seemed open. He stood up and walked up to me and I deeply inhaled once he entered my space. We were both so vulnerable in this moment, anything could happen. I wanted something to happen, I wanted him to finally drop this facade so I could stop feeling so angry, so my parents could finally heal from all the pain he and his family caused. I needed him to be honest.

“Yes, yes I am.” I couldn’t stop the disbelief I’m sure spread across my face, and he knew that as he chuckled. “I would like to say, my lady, that I am not a liar and I will always be truthful if you ask me. I don’t want to fight you anymore. I dislike war, and the bloodshed that it brings with it. My father always feared for our clan because of my gentle nature, but this mindset does not make me weak. I will do what must be done to protect those I care for.”

“You were tasked to kill me weren’t you?”

“Yes...and I expect that you were given the same task.” I nodded and he exhaled deeply before he stared deep at me. He didn’t say anything as he seemed to be thinking carefully about what to say next. “Lady Izumi...we have to be better than our sires. If we can’t do that, then what hope do our respective clans have heading into the future? We have a long and hard road, but I hope to have a sense of understanding between us. I...I know there are things that need to be discussed, things that I have to take responsibility for.”

My heart skipped a beat as he said this, but he was right, we did have things to talk about and discuss. I just didn’t think I was ready yet, but I would need to be. I had to be smart about it though, because as much as I hated to admit it, I was hotheaded. I was not ready to just forgive and forget over 100 years of war and suffering, but I could feel how genuine he was, and it unnerved me a bit. He was so ready to throw caution to the wind to try and fix our bloody history, and I could admit...I could respect that about him. I didn’t want to, but I did.

“I see...can I ask another question?”

“You may.” I rubbed my arm and looked away from him as my stomach flipped uncomfortably.

“What about...what about having children. That is not something that we can just put off. It will be expected of us.”

“Ah. Well...I don’t believe that is something we have to worry about at the moment. I will never force myself onto you. I believe that we can run our clans together, peacefully, without the need of children at the moment.”

“Right…” We shared a brief look before he went back to lay on his futon. A person’s actions always spoke the loudest and I would be curious to see how true to his word he was. We had only been married for less than two weeks, and I guess I had expected him to be more forthright, but he wasn’t. My enemy was someone I thought I knew and could calculate, but it seemed that was only on the battlefield. The differences between him on the battlefield and off it were vastly different.

Settling into bed, I blew out the candle, eager to see what the next day would bring for us both. Eager to see just how much he would do to make this marriage work.

~~~

It would seem that I really needed a homecoming, because I was ecstatic that we were still having a festival this year. Most of the time, they got pushed away because of the war. With it finally being over, it meant that I could enjoy it and maybe actually dance this year. My mother had prepared a beautiful kimono for me, and I sighed happily as I got my hair done. It was at that moment that Takeshi walked into the bedroom, I smiled up at him and I could tell it took him by surprise. Right now the only thing I could think about was having some fun.

“Good afternoon, my lady. You’re in a good mood.”

“It has been far too long since we had a festival in the village. I’m just happy to finally experience it again.”

“Indeed. What is this festival for exactly?”

“Oh...it’s not a big deal, but we have games that are played and sometimes I dance in celebration of a good year and for the gods. We also have fireworks at the end of the night. We also thank my ancestors for all their sacrifices that led to our era of peace, well now it's peaceful again.”

“I didn’t know that you danced. I would like to see that.” I hummed in my seat as a flower was placed in my hair. “It has been some time since I was at a festival...I think this will be fun as well.” He nodded at me before he left. I couldn’t even think about our exchange last night because I was so excited.

I spent most of the morning having everything prepared and my parents were busy at the shrine making it nice and pretty. I was so busy that I forgot all about Takeshi until he showed up just now. I suspect he went back to playing with the children and helping fix things up. I was surprised that he even still did that, considering how the villagers were still giving him nasty looks.

“Izumi...oh you look beautiful.” I smiled as my father walked in and kissed my head. “Your mother was wondering when you would be coming to the village.”

“Oh I just finished getting ready. Are you excited!?”

“I am, but I don’t think anyone is more excited than you, my daughter.” He held his arm out to me and I happily took it as we left the manor. The village was awash in activity and children ran through the streets kicking around a Temari ball. Vendors were selling what they could, but everyone held a smile on their face. I had to admit it was worth an unexpected marriage to see all of my people happy and smiling. My mother soon joined us and it felt so much like old times again. Just the three of us happily enjoying ourselves.

“Takeshi-san is popular with the children and the older villagers. Well some of them anyway.” I looked at my mother as she said that, and she seemed a bit annoyed about it. “It seems like he is trying to win the hearts of our people. Is he winning yours Izumi?”

I was taken aback by her cold tone and sudden questioning. “N-No mother! How could you ask me something like that?!” I looked at my father and he was wearing the same look that she was. “You both think he is?!”

“Izumi we only-”

“No! This is supposed to be a happy and fun day! You two can enjoy the festival on your own. I’m going to have some fun by myself!” I broke away from them quickly and ignored them calling my name. How dare they?! I could admit maybe my fire had simmered a bit, but that did not mean I was having my heart won over by him! Tears pricked my eyes, but I shook them off.

I smiled at the people as they greeted me, even though I was upset and angry. I stopped at a stall and grabbed some takoyaki. If anything would make me feel better, it was food. I was so absorbed into my thoughts that I didn’t even register that Takeshi had ended up next to me. The startled yelp I made was embarrassing, and my sudden fright sent my takoyaki flying into the air.

“Oh!” Takeshi caught the paper bowl easily, and managed to catch all the takoyaki balls before they hit the ground. “I didn’t mean to startle you. I’m sorry about that.”

“No, I should have been paying attention. I’m sorry for that awful yell I just did.” He chuckled as he handed me my food.

“I think it was fine, are you alright?”

“Huh?”

“You seem a bit upset.”

“Oh...my parents are being annoying. It’s really nothing.” I held the takoyaki up to him and he grabbed the other pick to eat one. We traveled through the village just eating and I spent most of it with a scowl on my face.

“You want to try the goldfish?” I looked over at the goldfish stand and my scowl got worse and he really laughed at me now. “My lady, you should really stop doing that. Your face will be stuck like that.”

“Perhaps I want it too. It makes me more intimidating and scary.” He laughed some more and I couldn’t help but stare at him. It was such a carefree and happy laugh. It was so...real. I smiled a bit as he kept laughing, he...he had a handsome laugh.

“Yes it sure does. Are you not good at catching goldfish?” I glared at him and he held his hands up defensively. “I only ask because your scowl got deeper when I asked.” I huffed and walked faster toward the booth, and he quickly ran to catch up to me. Eating another takoyaki ball, he handed me a scooper.

“It’s all about your wrist movements and carefully handling the scooper.”

“I’m guessing that you’re the expert?”

“I might have had many goldfish as pets, although my mother preferred koi since they are more elegant and pretty in her eyes.” He knelt down by the small pool and I knelt beside him with a frown. “You keep up that frown, you will scare them away.”

“That is highly unlikely, I’m told that I’m quite beautiful.” He chuckled as he held his gaze over the pool.

“That you are…” I flushed deeply and my heart skipped about as he said that. He said it so offhandedly as he flipped a goldfish into the bowl in his hand. Was he not thinking when he said that? Was he teasing me?”

“Lady Izumi?”

“H-Huh? Yes?”

“Have I lost your focus?”

“No, I've got it!” I held my scooper tight in my hand before I tried my hand at scooping out some goldfish. I knew he could tell I wasn’t paying attention because I broke ten damn scoopers. My blood was boiling as I frantically tried to catch one of these cursed fish!

“Lady Izumi…”

“Grrr….”

“My lady!”

“What?!”

“You’re making the water boil…” I snatched my hand away from the pool and my ears flattened against my head in defeat.

“This is the worst type of game.”

“Here…let me help you.” Handing me another scooper, he carefully held my wrist and we leaned over the pool together. “You are so aggressive in your movements. You said that you dance, so think of yourself as being precise and delicate in your motions.”

I folded my lips together as we watched the fish and with his direction, I successfully managed to catch one! “Oh! I did it!”

“Yes you did, now to get the little one back home.” He took my fish to the vendor and once it was bagged up, Takeshi handed it to me. My tails happily swished through the air as I held it. “Glad to see that it worked out well.”

“Thanks...you didn’t have to do that.”

“Of course I did, but it wasn’t out of obligation or anything. I just wanted to help.” He smiled a little before we kept walking through the streets. We spent most of the time talking with villagers, and addressing some concerns. I had my dance at the end of the night, and it felt so freeing to have that experience again. I didn’t see my parents the remainder of the day and into the night. That was good because I was still upset with them.

Takeshi and I settled on a roof to get a good look at the fireworks. It seemed that he was a fan of takoyaki. I guess they did not have them in his territory. “No takoyaki?”

“My father got rid of them because of my mother. He practically outlawed them from the territory. She had made him quite angry when she forgot to make his favorite dessert.”

“Just for some octopus balls he outlawed it?”

“He had an argument with my mother, and she loves them. So in retaliation, he banned them outright, but remember I said practically. He eventually got over it, and that was because she fought him over it and they fell in our koi pond, she almost drowned him.” He chuckled at the memory and I shook my head at the craziness of it all.

“Your parents are crazy, you know that?”

“True, but I love them all the same. Once the war started though, we couldn’t import any seafood, so it has been over 100 years since my mother and I had any. I made sure to have someone bring some to her.”

“That was nice of you.”

“I like to think that I am a nice man.”

“Hmmm.” We quietly ate our food and the fireworks started up finally. After tonight, we would head back to Igarashi manor. It would be some time before I saw my family again, but I had Shino there with me. Takeshi was bearable, but I guess I would have to see how this nice guy act would play out. Either way, I would prepare for whatever was coming to greet me next.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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#Izumi #Takeshi #Jin #Shino #festival #writing #my writing #original work #oc

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rebelbyrdie · 3 years

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Swan Queen Fic: The Looking Glass (1 of 3)

This is a story that I’ve had in my head for years. I have no time to fully flesh it out. I still think I would like to share it though. I lovingly call this bullshit writing because I do it between major projects to keep my brain going but it usually doesn’t amount to much.

So this is a combination of several concepts, inspirations and tropes. It is Parallel Universe time! This is pretty raw writing. No editing. No beta.

The Looking Glass (Part 1 of 3)

Once Upon a Time, an Evil Queen was prepared to cast the darkest curse ever created. She had the spell in her hands and revenge in her heart. All magic comes with a price, though. For this queen and this curse, the price was too high. She could not cast her curse. She was not the only one who had desired the curse, though. The Dark One became enraged at her decision and betrayed his former apprentice to her greatest enemies.

“Regina.” Snow White stared at the chained and bound woman. “Your father and others-” Her eyes narrowed as she spoke, as if she hated even thinking about the people she spoke about. “-have begged for mercy on your behalf.”

Regina, disgraced queen and sorceress, was gagged but she held her head high, her shoulders were squared and her eyes were hot and angry. She met Snow’s eyes without flinching, daring her to do her worst. Gag or not, she would never beg.

“I will show you exactly the same amount of mercy that you showed my father and my people.” Snow White steepled her fingers under her chin. “Which is none.”

“Your Majesty, please!” Lord Henry, a rotund and care-worn man, tried to pull away from the knights that held him in place. “We will go home, never to return. As royalty banishment is the traditional penalty for-”

“Silence!” Snow White cut him off. Her words were ice cold and her mouth was set in a hard line. “Your groveling is pointless. My decision has been made.” She looked around the throne room, at the gathered crowd. “The Evil Queen’s punishment is not to die.”

Henry breathed out a sigh of relief and tried to reach for his daughter.

“Regina’s punishment is far worse then death. She shall live, forever-”

Regina’s head jerked back and her dark eyes went wide.

“-in the Eternal Tower.”

Henry went white. “No. Your Majesty, no!”

Snow smiled. It was wide, bright and predatory. “Take her to the mirror.”

The four knights who held Regina’s chains pulled her away. She didn’t fight them or shed a tear. She walked tall and proud, to her inescapable fate.

The Eternal Tower was a magical place, a magical spire from a dead kingdom. There were no doors and the single window had been bricked up. The only way in or out was via a magic mirror. She was dragged to the highest room of the castles tallest tower where that mirror waited for her.

The Dark One waited at the mirror, a smile on his glittering face.

“Hello Dearie.” He smirked. “So nice to see you again.”

Rumplestiltskin waved his hand over the mirror’s shining surface and it rippled like a quicksilver pool.

“The Eternal Tower is magical. While you are there you will not hunger, thirst or require sleep. It’s magics are ancient, arcane and far more powerful than yours. You won’t be able to cast the smallest spell there. You will be alone.”

He leaned closer and his smile widened grotesquely. It twisted his face and made him appear more monstrous than ever. “Forever.”

The knights unshackled her hands, feet and waist and pushed her into the mirror, hard. She fell through the portal and onto the hard stone floor of the Eternal Tower. She scrambled to her feet and ripped the gag out of her mouth. Regina glared at the Dark One.

“I’ll destroy you for this, Imp.”

“Shut up!” One of the armored men hit the mirror with his fist. “Or we’ll cover the damn mirror.” He held up a heavy damask clothe. The mirror, or more accurately the window that it was pointed at, was the only source of light in her prison. If the mirror was covered she would be cast into permanent darkness.

Regina stepped back from the mirror and looked around her new abode. She ignored the men as they left the room on the other side of the mirror and when she was alone, she finally screamed.

***

In a world with no Dark Curse, Princess Emma grew up in a glorious castle with two loving parents and was beloved by the kingdom. She was fair, intelligent and could wield true love magic. She grew in grace, strength and beauty every day.

The morning of her twentieth birthday dawned bright and early. Emma was already out of bed and sneaking out the window long before the servants awoke. She made her way across the castle’s roof and swung into the narrow window of a lesser used corridor.

She was sick and tired of being a princess. She hated the politics, etiquette and endless expectations. She wasn’t what her mother wanted her to be. She never would be. Her mother, Queen Snow, wanted a perfect princess. Emma was anything but. She was more comfortable in breeches and on horseback then she was in a dress and on the throne.

Not to mention the Balls. She hated the over-the-top Balls. She would be shown off like a horse at an auction for princes and kings to gawk at. Her parents had married for True Love. She had to marry to fill up the kingdom’s coffers.

She wandered the North wing’s long and empty corridors and started climbing a steep and narrow set of stairs. She didn’t recognize the tower, but the early morning light and shadows might be playing tricks on her. After what seemed like a million steps, Emma found herself at a door that she didn’t recognize.

“Unusual.” She muttered to herself. Even more unusual was that the door was locked with three huge iron padlocks.

Now Emma had to know what was behind the door. She leaned out the landing’s single window and smirked. There was another window less than three feet away, on the other side of the door. It was all to easy to pop out one window and into another, especially since her magic would protect her from any fall.

The room on the other side of the door was small and empty except for a tall gilded mirror.

“Lame.”

She was about to leave when something caught her eye. She did not see her reflection in the glass. She saw someone else. Somewhere else.

“What the hell?”

She walked closer to the glass.

“Who are you?”

The woman on the other side of the mirror jumped. She twisted around, away from her loom and stared right at Emma. Her dark eyes were wide and her lush mouth, accented by a scar, dropped open.

“Wh-” Her voice was raspy, like a door hinge that had rusted shut a long time ago finally moving again. “Who are you?”

***

“So it is Midwinter.” Emma sat in front of the mirror with her legs folded over each other. She was comfortable on the floor, inches away from the glass.

Regina sat on her side with her knees drawn to her chest. She was braiding her long dark hair with fast and agile fingers. She loved listening to Emma. Not just because she was the only voice she’d heard in years either. The blonde was smart, funny, irreverent and she made Regina smile. She didn’t judge her as the Evil Queen or a prisoner. They were friends.

“And there is about four feet of snow on the ground.

“You should be wearing a cloak. That tower room must be freezing.” Regina was always worried about her. Emma was careless with her own safety, so bold and brazen. Too caught up in the moment to think ahead.

“I’m fine. I want to see your progress!”

Regina smiled and shook her head, amused. “Of course.” She stood and turned her mirror around a bit so Emma could see her loom.

The loom had been one of the only things in her prison. It was left over from the tower’s last resident. She had never learned how to weave as a child, as it had not been something that a queen needed to know. Since she’d had nothing but time, she had taught herself. It had been the one thing that kept her from going mad.

She spent endless hours weaving. She didn’t always know what the pattern was as she worked. The images often surprised her. Emma praised her work, and swore that it was the best she’d ever seen.

“I don’t know what it is yet. I’ve never seen anything like it. A town, I think. With a strange tower.”

She pulled the completed length up so Emma could see it.

“Wow! It is amazing! You’re amazing, Regina!”

No. Emma was the amazing one. Regina sat the almost-finished tapestry back to the side and went back to the mirror.

“If you could have anything for a Midwinter gift, what would it be?”

Regina raised a brow. Emma was already the best gift she’d ever received. She was sunshine personified. She reminded Regina of Daniel. When she was with Emma she could feel her long dead heart stir in her chest.

She didn’t dare say any of that, though. It was pointless, a fever dream. They could never be together, no matter how much she wanted to reach out and touch Emma. To hold her hand. To kiss her.

“An apple. My father planted a tree when I was born. I tended it for my entire life until-” She shook her head. “I want to taste an apple again.”

Emma nodded. “I want the tapestry you did last Spring. The one of the horses and sheep in the field. It reminds me of summer when I was a child. I like to think that the little girl and man are my father and me. Like you were standing right there painting a portrait.”

If she could give it to her, Regina would. She’d give anything and everything she wanted.

“Well, actually, that is just an excuse. To get the tapestry, I would have to meet you and that would be the real gift.”

Emma pressed her hand against the mirror. “I feel like you’re the only person that sees me.”

Regina pressed her hand to the mirror too and wished she could feel the heat of Emma’s palm against her own.

“You are the only person who sees me.”

Emma’s lips quirked into a small smile. “That makes me the luckiest woman in the world.”

Years past. Emma spent every minute she could with Regina. She ignored suitors and skipped out of Balls. She fought in tournaments, but never wore a token. She always fought for Regina, even if she couldn’t say so. When she was days away from turning twenty-five, everything changed.

Emma showed up for dinner, almost on time. There were various dignitaries in attendance tonight. She never paid attention to who. The faces changed but the boring political stuff always stayed the same. She sat down on her mother’s left, beside Red.

“And here is my daughter, Princess Emma.”

Snow’s voice sounded strained, angry. Emma knew that she had broken countless rules. She was late. She was wearing breeches. She had her sword on her belt. Her hair was tied in a sloppy braid. There was dust smeared on her shirt. Basically she was not fit for a royal dinner table.

“Your Highness.”

A guy, expensive clothes, an unfamiliar accent and gold circlet told Emma everything she needed to know. He was yet another prince trying to buy her hand in marriage. Great.

“I am Prince Killian of the Kingdom of-”

Emma drifted off, uninterested. She had heard it all before. He would go through his entire family history, and all his so-called achievements. Like all that was supposed to impress her.

She missed Regina. She would never bore her at dinner. She would also never try to buy her. Regina had been there and done that and it had destroyed her. She constantly worried about Emma being betrothed against her will.

It was hard to imagine Regina being here. Sitting as a Queen dealing with politics and stuff. Forced to sit and pretend she cared. Worse, forced to pretend to be happy as a forced-wife and faux-mother. Then again, compared to the tower, dinner didn’t seem so bad.

Red’s elbow dug into her ribs and Emma jerked her attention back to the Prince.

“Welcome, Prince Killian. I am pleased to meet you.”

She wasn’t.

“The pleasure is all mine. Our betrothal is a blessing on both us and our kingdoms.”

Wait. Emma’s head snapped to the side to look at her mother. What!

Snow nodded. “It is a wonderful match, dear. You will love Killian and live Happily Ever After.”

No.

Emma’s entire body burned fire hot and went ice cold simultaneously. She could feel screams coiling up in her chest. This could not happen.

“The wedding will be on your birthday. Isn’t that wonderful?”

Wonderful? Emma would rather die.

Red put a hand on her leg under the table. To comfort her? To hold her in place? To warn her to behave? Emma didn’t know. She couldn’t move. Couldn’t speak. Could barely think anything other than no.

She sat, silent, and somehow got through the dinner. Killian asked for a walk through the garden (escorted by their parents of course) but Emma declined. She was far too weary to walk. Her mother frowned but allowed it. Probably a reward for not flipping out at the table.

Emma ran right to Regina. She poured out her fears and wept her tears to the woman in the mirror. Regina pressed close to the glass. Her hands and cheek were flat against it.

“Don’t give in Emma.” Regina’s voice was sad and soft. It carried the weight of her past and experiences. Her regrets. Her love. “But don’t fight either. Run. Leave. Go. Leave Snow to her Empire. There are other kingdoms, other worlds. I’ve seen them. Weaved them into my tapestries. You can still have a life, happiness.”

Emma looked up and pressed her face against the mirror. “Not without you.” She smacked the glass between them. “How can I be happy without you?”

Regina touched the glass where Emma rested. She traced the lines of her cheeks and forehead. “You will be happy, My Love.” She smiled despite the tears sliding down her cheeks. “We are together, you know. In one of those other worlds, there is a you and a me that are happy and free together.”

“I would give anything to be with you.” Emma was crying now too. “Anything.”

Regina shook her head. “I would never curse you like this. To this tower.”

Emma sighed. “Sometimes I wish you had cast that damn curse. Anything, anywhere, has to be better then this.”

They lay on either side of their mirror, together but forever apart. They would have stayed that way all night. Forever if they could.

Emma jerked up. “Someones coming!” She could hear the heavy locks being turned. There was no time to escape. The tower’s door swung open, rusted hinges squeaked and groaned from years of neglect.

“Emma!” Snow White stood at the door. Rumplestiltskin stood at her right shoulder. Prince Killian at her left.

“Mom!”

Snow looked at the mirror. “Regina!”

Both Emma and Regina got to their feet.

“How could you do this?” Snow glared at the mirror. “When Rumplestiltskin told me I didn’t believe it. Couldn’t! You’ve corrupted my daughter! Right under my nose!”

Emma launched at her mother, fists swinging.

“Don’t you dare!”

Her father came in and grabbed Emma, held her back.

“She hasn’t corrupted me!” Emma jutted her chin out. “I love her! I will not marry him.” She pointed at Killian. “Or any man you sell me to. I love her!”

Snow looked from her daughter to the mirror.

The reflection showed Regina, The Evil Queen, on her knees.

“Please. Snow. Please. Don’t do this to her. It will destroy her. Don’t do to Emma what my mother did to me. Don’t make her marry. Let her love. You got your Charming. Let her find love.”

“You? You think this is your escape? Your great revenge? No! I won’t let you destroy Emma like you did my father and our kingdom.” She turned to one of the guards.

“Break it.”

Emma screamed and fought, she was too late, though. By the time she escaped her father’s grasp, the magic mirror lay shattered on the stone floor and Regina was cast into eternal darkness.

#fanfic #wip #swanqueen

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aflower-exe · 4 years

Text

The Night We Met

[a/n: oo this is a bit longer than usual so the author’s note is at the beginning. This lil collection of blurbs is inspired by The Night We Met by Lord Huron. If you look at the red words you can see that lol. Just an fyi the bold italic words are kinda a narration to the blurbs. Idk i had this idea while manic one morning and i refuse to change it. Anyways I literally wrote this at 12:53 am so enjoy and please forgive any errors.]

Falling in love while young can be a beautiful thing. So full of passion and romance and excitement.

It can start of so sweet;

“I had all of you come here today because we have an announcement” Lia said. Everyone at the dinner table was on the edge of their seat. A few of the people you knew but most of the faces at the table were completely unfamiliar. When you’d arrived, you quickly surveyed the room looking for someone you know to hide behind while Lia was busy.

After finding another friend of yours to chat with, you spy a tall dark haired man out of the corner of your eye. His crisp suit and regal posture sent chills down your spine. You did your best to look his way in hopes of getting no attention, but every attempt fell short. By the time you’d sat down, you’d completely forgotten about the savvy man. Instead, you focused on the news that your best friend and her boyfriend were eagerly waiting to unveil.

“We’re pregnant” Chen exclaims. “Well, she’s pregnant. I’m gonna be a dad!”

The table erupted with cheers. Of course you had already known. You were the one with your best friend in the bathroom as she cried over the two tiny red lines. But it was still nice to hear it out loud. The couple was young, foolhardy, and unwed but you knew their bond was stronger than anyone else's. You admired their compatibility and often envied their happiness. Nonetheless, you were happy for them. So you put a smile on your face and clapped and cheered like the rest of the lot

After the cheering and dinner were coming to an end, many of the guests found themselves congregating in small groups with friends old and new. In the midst of the mass chaos, you had found yourself standing alone in the corner of the room. Normally, you’d flock to your best friend, but she was caught up im the duties of a hostess. You watched her prance around the room eagerly accepting private congratulations.

“Is this seat taken?” You turn around to see a handsome looking man with a vaguely familiar mess of dark locks. At first, you were shocked that he would even look your way, but you shook off the brief moment of self-consciousness and tried to reply with a quip

“Well, I mean, there’s no chairs. So…” The confusion you felt had now transformed into amusement. His lines were cute, but you knew he could do better.

“Yeah you’re right that was stupid. Let me start over. I’m Chanyeol” Chanyeol stuck his hand out towards you, a lopsided smile planted on his face.

“I’m y/n” You said, taking his hand reluctantly. It wasas if electricity sparked from your hands as they touched His hands were large but seem to fit with yours perfectly. His lips were twisted in a wholesome smile. Gazing into his eyes was like looking into a warm cup of coffee and you swore you could get lost in them forever. At that moment it was as if stars had collided. You didn’t believe in soulmates before, but that was about to change...

And as you approach your lovers high you’ll seem unstoppable. It will be as if you could fight off the entire world with the power of your love alone;

“I can’t believe i planned a whole picnic and now it’s ruined” You frowned. You could see from the tree you were hidden under that your blue gingham blanket was now soaked and the food that you stayed up all night making was unsalvageable. “And then most upsetting of all, you don’t seem to care”.

Chanyeol only chuckled. “It’s only a little rain.” His response only deepened your frown.

When Chanyeol noticed your expression he tsked, “I think you need to learn to go with the flow.” Knowing you would give a cynical reply, Chanyeol chose not to wait for you to respond. Instead, he grabbed your hand and pulled you into the rain. You squealed at the feeling of the cold droplets colliding with your skin. He pulls your body flush against his and places his hand on the small of your back.

“Care to dance?” He asks, a playful smirk appearing on his face.

“To what music?” The lack of music didn’t actually bother you, but you were always eager to tease. You were ready with quips about how cliché the moment was when Chanyeol dipped his head down so that his lips were inches from your ear and began to sing. You didn’t know what the song was and frankly you didn’t care. You’re feet synchronized with the rhythm of his song and you began to dance. Suddenly nothing else mattered. It was as if you were the only people in the world. You closed your eyes and took in the moment.

It’s memories like these that you wouldn’t trade for the world. Even now….

But then it seems to turn around;

The tension had almost become unbearable. And it wasn't good, sexy, fun tension that Chanyeol and you used to have. No. This was different. It was heavy with guilt and anger and accusations. Being the mature adult he was Chanyeol decided to feign ignorance in hopes of avoiding the inevitable. Your subtle slamming of the door and passive aggressive glances, he could look past. But the silent treatment? That he couldn’t ignore. “Alright, what’s going on?” Chanyeol asks. He watched as you leaned against the wall and fiddled with your fingers, doing everything to avoid his eye

“Nothing” You responded curtly. Chanyeol knew you were lying. He knew everything about you. After a year and a half of dating, Chanyeol could point out every freckle, birthmark, and scar with his eyes closed. Though he loved to study your curves and curls, Chanyeol also studied your little mannerisms. At this point, Chanyeol suspected he could register as a y/n-expert. While he believed he was perfectly attuned to your every thought, as he stood there in the living room of your shared apartment he could have been more confused by you.

“Why did you even invite me to dinner if you were going to flirt with all the other girls there. And why were there even other girls there? What’s the point of going on a date with me if you’re barely going to speak two words to me” The words spew endlessly out of your mouth.

“Wait, are you getting mad at me for taking you out to dinner? Because that’s bullshit”

“You didn’t take me out to dinner you invited me to join you for dinner. There’s a difference”

“And why are you nagging me about talking to other girls? It’s my job.”

“Oh so now it’s your job to flirt with everyone?”

“Yes. I mean no. It’s my job to be sociable”

“Oh sure. Just like last week it was your job to go out for drinks with those girls”

“Exactly! See the wouldn’t be a problem to any sane person”

“Sane? So, what? I'm insane now?”

“Well right now you’re insanely overdramatic”

”And you’re selfish, egotistical, and have no regard for my feelings”

“Oh my god you are so much work” Chanyeol was on fire now. You always managed to do that: bring out the worst in him. And once it was out it wasn’t going to stop. “Sometimes...”

“Say it.” You seethe. You know you shouldn’t push him. You know what’s on the inside of that soft, caring exterior. But part of you is just as egged on as he is and you wouldn’t stop until you’d won.

“Sometimes I want to just leave. Take my shit and go. Sometimes I wish we’d never met.” Chanyeol knew he shouldn’t have said that. He knew as it rolled off his lips and he knew as he stormed out of the apartment. He knew it probably hurt your feelings. Not because it was mean, but because it was true. And he knew you could tell it was true. And the worst part of it all was that he didn’t regret saying it one bit.

While Chanyeol was out at who knows where doing who knows what, you had found yourself staring at your bedroom door, waiting. Usually your fights would end in glorious make-up sex, or passionate i-love-you-please-forgive-me-kisses. So you waited. You watched the door, waiting for him to come barging in, ready to take back the things he said. When your eyes got tired of waiting you let your ears take over. You jumped at every little sound only to feel slight disappointment when it didn’t end up being the sound of a turning door. You waited, and waited, and waited. Until eventually your tired body didn’t feel like waiting anymore. And for once, neither did you.

And as you come down from your high you’ll realize why love is such a dangerous drug. Because now that you’ve had a taste you need more, and that same old love just doesn’t do it for you anymore...;

In the beginning of the relationship when you two would fight, you could feel your blood boiling. You felt so many emotions. And now, as you aimlessly twirled the engagement ring on your finger, you felt none. Part of you was scared of what that meant. The other part of you knew. The well had run dry. You were out of patience. Out of cares to give. Out of love.

The Chanyeol you once loved was seemingly dead and gone and he was now replaced by a mature shell of his former self. Occasionally you could see the fun-loving, playful man you fell in love with. You could see it in his smile. You could hear it in his laugh. You could feel it in his soft touches. You could taste it in his lingering kisses. But once the smile faded, and the laugh subsided, and the touches stopped, and the kisses ended, the man you knew was gone like a ghost in the wind.

“I don’t think we should do this anymore.” You had finally found the courage to say what you had both been thinking. After months of “it will get better” and days of “maybe he’s tired” you finally decided it was time for your relationship’s timely end.

Though Chanyeol said nothing his silence spoke for him. He agreed. The room was quiet. And the only thing that could be heard, was your record playing in the background,, “Take me back to the night we met…”

Falling in love while young can be a beautiful thing. For you it was a beautiful thing: full of stolen glances and dances in the rain. But it was also full of missed calls, and slammed doors. See that’s the thing with young love. You fall in love with someone before they even know who they are. Before you know who you are. The two of you fell in love before you had the chance to find out what love was. When all is said and done you wouldn’t dream of taking back those moments. So while you may never again have the the feeling of Chanyeol’s hand in yours, or the sound of his laugh echoing through your apartment, or the taste of his kiss on your lips, you’ll always have the night you met.

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ofmythsandmadness · 4 years

Text

i need a favour - six.

PART SIX - a tale of two love-struck fools - or, the one where everything that’s not supposed to happen...happens. WORD COUNT - 3850+ PREV PART - five. START FROM THE BEGINNING - one.

A/N - whoops. sorry...that’s all i have to say. this won’t make up for the long ass absence, but...here it is, anyways. not edited and i know it’s messy. but it’s here. if anyone reads it, i hope you enjoy. xx

THINGS WERE OKAY. AT LEAST ON THE SURFACE.

For one, Y/N wasn’t required to wear heels that night, freezing her poor feet from the torture of stilettos all night. Which was a nice change. The shoes sure did look good, but she still had not figured out how people like Allison could wear six inch pumps for an entire day. One hour was torture enough.

She glanced down, wriggling her toes in the ankle boots she had chosen. She would have to thank whoever was running this event for the dress code - because she was much more okay showing up to this fancy shmancy awards ceremony if she could stand normally. And feel properly dressed - she could shrink into her sweater and still feel like she wasn’t a style disappointment to those around her. Which was also, quite nice.

Unfortunately that might just be where her list ended. Because as much as she was trying to find the silver lining, Y/N really was finding it impossible.

Why, one might wonder?

“There you are.”

He, was why.

She looked away from him, anywhere but him, scanning the crowds around her for something she can latch onto. “Here I am.”

“Was looking for you.”

“Hm,” she hummed back, playing absent-mindedness to cover up her racing heart. Hopefully he couldn’t hear it - though considering how loud it was pounding in her own ear? Might be a fool’s wish. “Well, I...was with Vanya.”

She shivered when his skin brushed hers; his hand barely grazed against her own, and yet there she was, practically fucking shaking like a leaf because - well, she wasn’t ready to face the ‘because’ just yet.

“Funny, cause I talked to Vanya.”

“Good for you.”

“And she only talked briefly with you. But she’s barely seen you t’night.”

Y/N frowned then, stuck between a rock and a hard place - the latter being the same man she had made out with just a few days prior. The same man, she had been avoiding ever since.

See, after their rather shocking makeout session from a few days back, neither one knew what to do. That was not in the cards for their fake relationship - it had never been. Certainly, not without a point to play off of. But it had happened, both of them eagerly rushing into an ill-fated kiss that they would later debate over and over until the simple word ‘kiss’ was mush in their minds. And after that, neither one knew where they stood.

Scared of facing consequences, Y/N let herself vanish practically off the face of the earth. She threw herself into her work, but when she was not at school, she was at home, ignoring any calls that came her way or knocks at her door later at night. She knew if he truly needed her, he would just come through her window, so she never bothered answering the door. Not for the two times he came by.

She was not even sure why she showed up that night. They had not discussed further the extent of their fake relationship - or how their not-fake kiss played into it - and so really, she had no need to show and play his fake girlfriend. But there she was, showing up, and then regretting it once her consequences showed up to mock her.

“I had things to do.”

“Oh? Like what?”

But instead of answering that, she turned, glaring up at him. “What do you want me to say, Diego? You want my secretary to fax you my minutes? My schedule?”

“No,” he gritted back, “I want to talk.”

“That might be the first time I’ve ever heard you say that.”

“Yeah? There’s been a lot of ‘firsts’ this week.”

She rolled her eyes, fighting back her nerves with stone fists, nails digging moon-shaped cuts into her palms. There was no way she was going to break and argue this with him right then and there. In public, in the midst of a hoity-toity fundraiser event...thing (truthfully, she still hadn’t figured out what was going on, but did that matter anymore?). She still had a little dignity. “We’re not talking about this.”

“Not your call to make.”

“It is,” she hissed, “considering I’m the one who agreed to do this stupid relationship thing. You want me to call us out right here and now?”

“Do that, and you’re dead too. I mean, you are the one who kissed me twi-”

“-can it, Hargreeves. Don’t twist this solely on me.”

“Am I? Or-”

“-I told you. I’m not doing this here.”

“Then where?”

“I-”

“-attention, ladies and gentlemen, if you could look this way now?”

The two adults were forced to pause their hushed argument and avert their gaze forward. Both jaws clenched in frustration - for different, yet very similar reasons - and they stood stiffly beside one another, opposite of their happy couple facade performed just days ago. No one could even say they were friends, let alone in a committed relationship. So, it was pretty good the attention was not on them.

Y/N barely took in a moment of the presentation, past that it was basically the government (or something like that) kissing Five’s ass for an hour or so. He had done something, risking his life for something or other, and there they were, clapping with glassy eyes as high ranking officials raved on and on about how amazing he was.

She had to wonder just what he had done. Because it was rare, very rare, for Five Hargreeves to ever be on anyone’s good side. And normally she would question both the legality and hidden workings behind all this smiling government bullshit. However, in the circumstances she currently found herself in, she really couldn't care less.

One it was done and the crowd began to move around, Y/N made her move to go - only to find herself held back by Diego. She tried to worm out of his firm grasp, but he silently refused, dark eyes practically begging her to stay. And maybe, it was the strange and quite unfamiliar look in his eyes that actually made her want to stay. Even if she would just argue the arm bit.

“I’m serious about what I said,” she mumbled, keeping her voice down just in case someone unwanted was nearby. “We can’t talk about this right here and now, not with your family buzzin’ about like flies.”

“Sure,” he shrugged. “But -” he was cut off by himself that time, eyes dropping from staring her down to someone behind her. They flicked back within seconds, but they lacked the same shine as a second ago, colder and more determined for something. Some reason. “When?”

“What did-”

“-don’t pretend like I don’t care about you.”

Y/N cocked her head in confusion, staring at him like he had just asked the craziest thing in the world of her. “Pardon me?”

“You know I want this to work.”

Her nose crinkled as she frowned. “Sure...uh, I guess, but we don’t have to discuss-”

“-isn’t this just the next step?”

“What the hell are you going on about?”

It was only a second after that question when Y/N got her answer in the form of another's actions. She started when a cold hand met her shoulder, but a quick glance to her side clarified the person, and Diego’s motivation. Lord, she would have to commend him on quick thinking. Maybe (she still had no clue what he was talking about).

“You two really seem to be laying into it,” Klaus grinned, as though he was asking their opinions on kittens. “Everything alright, lovebirds?”

“Uh - ju-ust peachy.”

His eyes flitted from hers to meet Diego’s. “You seem rather tense, brother. What’s the matter?”

Before he could answer, to continue whatever little scheme he had concocted in his mind, Y/N cut in with a strained grin. “What are you doing here, Klaus? I didn’t think this would be your scene.”

“Oh, it rarely is,” he responded, already seeming to forget his question. “But I thought I’d turn over a new leaf, try and seem more respectable than I truly am. And...well, truthfully, I appreciate a good show.” His elbow met her side, nudging her teasingly. “If you know what I mean.”

“Should have known you had other motives.”

Klaus clicked his tongue at Diego. “I do care about Five’s...well, whatever he’s done, you know that. But I can support more than one fellow, you know.”

“Who’s the lucky guy?”

His pale arm stretched out, past the couple and over to a small crowd in the corner, of which Five was the centre. “See the dashing one in blue? With the plaid tie?”

When they both nodded, Klaus laughed. “His name’s Joe.”

“He’s cute,” Y/N responded. She dared not glance to her side and meet Diego’s eyes. “You sure he swings your way?”

“I know he does, matter of fact.”

��Oh, well then...I’m happy for you.”

Klaus, oblivious to either person’s discomfort, grinned and clapped his hands like a child. Were it any other situation, Y/N would have found it adorable. Be it as it were, however, she just wanted the conversation over with and a way to escape this nightmare of a night.

“I’d love to hear more,” she finally said, cutting him off just before he could really go on with it, “but I do have to run. It’s been a week of late nights and if I don’t make it home now, I might just crash here.”

In an instant, Diego was holding her waist, gently cradling her to him in a way she did not totally despise - though it was a huge shock to her nervous system, nearly made her jump in fright. “I keep telling you to take a break, but no, somehow I’m in the wrong.”

So they were still playing along. God, how hard it was becoming to hold her smile. “Look, baby, you just don’t understand it. Those kids need me!”

“And I need you alive, and yet here you are working yourself to death.” His lips found her skin, pressing into her temple for a moment before pulling away. She fought the urge to wipe where he had burned the kiss into her skin, smiling through her mental anguish.

Klaus clasped his hands under his chin and smiled, looking like the most deranged cupid in the world. “You two - I mean, really. It’s disgusting, how much you two love each other. I think I might vomit, just looking at you.”

“Well,” Y/N said, hesitantly stepping back just a little at the ‘vomit’ mention, “good thing we’re leaving then. Let me know how you and Joe go, yeah?”

“I’ll spare no details,” he winked back, before making ‘shooing’ motions with his hands. “Have fun, be safe!”

Diego’s grip tightened on her shoulders as they weaved through the crowds, as though he thought she might try to run away. She wished she didn’t like it.

“Good work.”

“Nice save.”

Diego grinned, a cocky smile she had learned to both love and hate with passion. “Anything for my baby.”

“Shut up, or I’ll stab your guts out.”

“With my own knife?” He didn’t even seem the tiniest bit flustered, by how she had snuck the weapon out of his pocket. If anything, the look on his face read more flattery. “How sweet.”

She rolled her eyes, hesitating a long moment before handing it over. If only she had kept it; she might have been able to rid herself of her mental misery before it would be too late.

Oh, well. She couldn’t run from it, or him, forever.

Unfortunately. Why’d she have to go with a super-human fake-boyfriend, again?

“DID YOU DRIVE?”

Y/N shook her head. “Walked. You?”

“I’ll walk you home.”

“You don’t need-”

“-please,” he said, a little softer that time. His hand grazed the small of her back, lingering just a moment before slipping away. “You n’I both know these streets aren’t safe.”

Much as she did not want to admit he was right, she did feel a bit better having someone by her side. It was dark out and sure, she knew how to protect herself - but having a guy who did it semi-professionally walking her home didn’t hurt. So she nodded and without another word, followed him out the glass doors.

It was then, too, she was glad she wore comfortable shoes. It was only a ten minute walk, but she did not want the added stress of aching feet on top of her and Diego’s tension.

They walked in silence for a couple minutes. Side by side, barely touching - shoulders grazing, but only just. And for a long moment, it felt normal. Like nothing had happened and this was just them. Comfortable, revelling in the quiet of the streets that night and one another’s company. For a second, Y/N could almost convince herself that that was the way things were.

But of course, things couldn’t be that way. Not how they left it.

“So…”

“Why didn’t you return my calls?”

Y/N sighed, letting her eyes fall to the pavement below. “Dunno. It was a long week.”

“Could have told me that.”

“After the way we left things? I figured you would have taken any response from me as a sign to start an argument. Hell,” she chuckled mirthlessly, “I half expected you to crawl through my window at two in the morning, looking for a chat in person.”

She glanced up to see his face; twisted, in a mixture of anger and something she could not quite read. “I’m a dick, but I’m not a total asshole.”

“Sure.”

“I wouldn’t do that to you. I...figured you needed some space.”

She nodded. “I assumed. And I appreciate it.”

“But,” he continued, taking her gratitude as a sign to push forward, “s’not like we can really go on like this.”

“Why not?”

Diego stopped in his tracks. His hand met hers, pulling her to a stop in front of him. He stared down at her, still with that same confusing look in his eyes. “You kissed me, Y/N. Don’t remember that being in the rules.”

“I did that before-”

“-that was not the same,” he argued, cutting her off before the excuse could finish. “That was for...there was no reason to kiss me then. We both know that.”

Y/N stuffed her hands into her coat and stared down at the pockets, like they were suddenly the most interesting thing in the world. “Why are you asking me all this? I mean, you can’t pretend like you didn’t kiss me, too. You practically started it. All this!”

“That’s not true.”

“Mm,” she laughed, a little bitterly that time, “su-ure. We were both there, Diego. We’re both guilty in this. You wanted it, I-I-” she couldn’t bring herself to finish the sentence. Instead, she stared downwards stricken, trying to avoid processing just about anything going through her head just then. “I...fuck, why am I even trying to explain this!”

When he said nothing, she sighed. “Maybe this was a mistake.”

“What was?”

“This. Agreeing to this. I mean, you’re great, really stupid great dude, but this whole fake dating thing is making it really hard to - I don’t know. This is a mess.”

He huffed. “I never made you do this.”

“I didn’t say you did! I know I agreed to it, just clearly I had no idea what it was like to date you.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“I-”

Before she could finish that sentence, screams erupted from a little whiles away, followed by curses and a lone gunshot. They both immediately started, Diego carefully slipping past Y/N to source the noise - and her following right after.

The pair raced into the alleyway with Diego quickly taking the lead. Despite it being dark, three figures could clearly be made out in the dim lights and both immediately saw the offending gun. Neither even stopped to consider it, though, rushing forward like a well oiled team ready to spring into action.

“Stop!” Diego hollered. From within his jacket he pulled two knives. They went flying and each hit a different offender. From the screams of pain following, it was clear his targets were matched. He reached in to pull out another, only to curse. “Shit - Y/N?”

She nodded even while falling to her knees by the side of their victim. She looked the young woman over, helping her sit up while her hands felt for cuts or bruises. She wasted no time glancing up, “Go! Go!”

Without a second more hesitation, Diego was off like a flash after the fleeing trio. Y/N remained by the woman’s side, not even bothering to check what was happening around her. Which, perhaps was her downfall, trusting so blindly in her friend’s skill. She only focused on the woman and making sure she was okay, and not in what was happening around her.

At that moment, time felt almost like it had slowed down. Like everything had gone from normal to slow motion, leaving her struggling even more to keep up with what was around her. A cry erupted from the young woman, leaving Y/N to glance up questioningly - but before she could ask what was the matter, a gunshot sounded. Her head twisted, staring off where Diego had just run, only to see her doom come racing her way - and not his.

A second later and she herself was crying out, the sound mingling with those of the girl beside her. The bullet might as well have been a truck, from the force of the hit. It left her shocked and with no control over her body, she collapsed like a bird to the cold pavement. She heard a flurry of sounds around her, yelling and curses, but none of them made any sense to her just then. All she could truly hear was the woman she had just been helping. She would not stop talking, but Y/N could not understand what was being said - some sort of foreign language, perhaps Polish from the sounds of it. It was sad, though, mourningful and the intention behind it was clear.

But there was no time for that just then.

The pain was bad. Definitely bad. Like, on a scale from one to ten, she would have to say it felt past eleven. From where the pain radiated, too, she would only have to assume it was not just a graze.

“Shit.”

Y/N felt at her side and pulled back her hand to see blood. She moved back once more, that time pushing harder even when the pain practically exploded inside her - she dug at the wound, trying her best to gauge how bad of a hit she had.

Judging by what little pressure she could stand, it was pretty bad. Bracing herself on the young girl and the cold pavement, she forced herself into a sitting position, pressing her bloodied fingers back into the wound - despite how much it hurt, she knew it was the only way she would make it through this. Gritting her teeth, she held the other hand out.

“Phone,” she gasped. When the woman just stared, she shakily brought the hand to her ear, miming a call. “9-1-1. You have a phone?”

“Oh, yes. Yes. Yes.”

She remained by her side as she called, which Y/N was grateful for, as it meant she had someone to lean upon. It felt like hours as they waited - though really, it was mere seconds, waiting for the shouts to cease in the background and for the stupid operator to realise what was being asked of it. She had half a mind to grab the phone and say it herself - she would, if she had any strength to move. As it were, she was barely keeping herself up, and only had to hope the woman’s broken English would save her.

Footsteps echoed like bullets of their own on the pavement, and Y/N instinctively scrunched her eyes up tight, begging for some relief. Somehow, the pain from her side was hitting all over her body - she felt like she had been hit a thousand times, pummeled by some ancient god who wished her nothing but ill will.

Just as she lost hope, however, she heard Diego’s voice, practically felt his own body hit the pavement beside her. Vaguely, she could make out both him and the woman talking, but neither voice stood enough out amongst the pain.

Firm, warm arms found their way around her and pulled her in. Y/N let herself slump back, barely opening her eyes to take in what was around her. Diego had pulled her half onto his lap, enough so she was resting solely on his chest and on his legs. She heaved in a breath.

“Where’d it hit you?”

“Side,” she mumbled. Was this always how it went? She had very little (as in, none until that night) experience with gunshot wounds, but they were really more of a bitch than she knew. It was like she could feel her lifeforce slipping out of her body, with each breath becoming more and more of a hardship, her chest barely rising and falling.

“You’re gonna be okay. You know that, right?”

“Mm-hmm.” She was barely awake, only forcing her lids open. Somewhere, far away, she remembered yelling at Diego to do that - there must be a point, to not falling asleep. “Called...9…”

His hands brought her closer to him, pressing her shivering figure into his torso with more strength she knew he possessed. “I know. I know. The woman’s waiting. Just - stay with me, okay? You gotta stay with me.”

“Mm…”

“No. C’mon, Y/N, stay with me. Okay? It’s…” she heard that unmistaken quiver in his voice, and even in her weakened state, she felt the urge to help him. Only, she couldn’t find the words or the stamina to say them, and found herself helpless in easing his panic.

“It’s...gonna b-b-b-be...you’re o...o...shit,” he cursed, a muffled sob not far behind the words. “C’mon, b-b-ba...c’mon…”

Y/N forced a smile on her lips. It was getting harder and harder to stay conscious, but dammit if she wasn’t going to try for his sake. Her hand left her side, shakily reaching up to find his cheek. Blood stained the skin, but neither even seemed to notice.

“M’okay,” she mumbled, even while drowning - the pain was definitely getting to her, more so than she could have ever dreamed. She hissed in a breath, “m...okay. Don’t...don’t cry for m-me, Argentina.”

Even as the world began to shake and go black, she saw his face, staring down at her like she was the most important thing in the world. Somewhere amidst the grief and fear and uncertainty, Diego slipped a grin - and even if it was a waste of potentially last words, she would at least go knowing she got to see him smile again. “S-s-hut up,” he whispered.

And before she could offer anymore of a response, just a bloody smile to match his own, Y/N fell limp in his arms, moving no more.

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#i need a favour #i need a favour series #diego hargreeves x reader #diego hargreeves oneshot #diego hargreeves au #fake dating #warning: this gets super dark

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