#maybe someday I'll fix it

[thechekhov]

I've been working on this since.... September? And I have been trying to piece it together like legos for two months now, and I've finally just decided to give up and leave it as is.

If you've ever wanted to read The Locked Tomb but were scared off by the worldbuilding and the terminology, this is for you.

#video #the locked tomb #video essay #youtube video #chekhov makes a video #i apologize for the weird audio jump halfway through #maybe someday I'll fix it #Youtube

[darkforestdreams]

Packs of sharks all staring at me...

Unblinkingly.

The dark eyes glare in disapproval,

And I'm just trapped there, unmovable.

They circle around me with no effort,

All while I flounder, I gasp, I panic;

I try to fix my mistake.

They know of my weakness

And they take bites of my brain.

"You're an idiot! You're a clutz!

"We're ashamed to call you one of us!"

My own feelings shut me down.

My body won't listen to me.

While the sharks all just go to town,

And then leave me to the mercy of the sea.

Finally they swim away from me; a job well done

Hundreds of sharks swimming as one.

I try to follow because I'm desperate,

So desperate to not be alone.

The sharks swim so fast just to breathe,

And I'm left behind;

Left to sink into the darkness of the open sea.

#YAY DEPRESSION POEM! #tw trauma #tw depression #poetry #original poem #rough draft #vent #metaphor #feeling left behind #autism can really suck sometimes #also I don't care about the grammar right now #maybe someday I'll fix it #but right now I just needed to share how I feel whenever I make even the smallest of mistakes

[dolokhoded]

what's the buzz, tell me what's a-happening ???

#jesus chris superstar #not really this is just dolokhoded bible. but the quote is jcs ! #(well i mean it could be. its not any specific production anyways.) #judas iscariot #he's the only one i tag always #but everyone's there. all the apostles plus magdalene and joanna and susanna though you can't see them very well #im not religious just insane.jpg #remember when i had an art tag #i SAID im gonna draw something proper and i DID IT OKAY #LOOK AT JOHN !!!!!!! OBSESSED WITH HIM ! #my normal john design is much lamer but in this weird 70ish but not really in any real timeline 'verse he KICKS ASS #i was going for like. green eyed blonde baby cherub with him anyways but it really popped off with this specific design he's the only one i #changed so much between the two verses. #cause he looked so lame. #this is going to get less notes that like. the stupidest most half assed art i've done for fandoms that actually exist but im going to try #and not care. its fine. its fine #oh sorry for how shit the quality is btw. youre never going to get good camera quality here at tumblr dot com slash dolokhoded lol im #so broke . maybe i'll try to fix it someday.

[bmpmp3]

drew an outfit i made dave in fashion dreamer

#art #traditional art #watercolour #oc art #ocs #oc group: dave #oc: dave #fashion dreamer #i forgor to colour in the sleeve buttons.....shhhh #maybe someday i'll fix it. or maybe not

[ask-icancraft-it]

Simmer

(( A short fic based on this fun test animation of Tamora cooking by Shawn Lee! Hope you enjoy! ))

--

Everything was going wrong.

She was trying to pull her weight by cooking a warm meal but faced adversity at every turn. Water boiled over on the stove, and uncooked pasta covered the floor. The instructions made it seem simple, so why did this feel like the most grueling battle she’d faced today? Why couldn’t she just do it? 

With a shout, she reached for her firearm, targeting the recipe book with a barrage of plasma bullets. As she just about unloaded her clip, the kitchen door swung open.

“Tammy Jean, cease fire!” a voice commanded, cutting through her rage and ending the bombardment. The sergeant lowered her weapon, tucking it back into her inventory as she turned towards the person she’d effectively been “fighting” for.

His small frame stood in the doorway, breathing heavily as he surveyed the room, the distress deepening on his face as he observed the smoking bullet holes peppering his cabinetry. 

“Fix-It…” Tamora whispered as the weight of her actions settled in. As it turned out, adjusting to domestic life was more difficult than any boot camp, and she’d just failed miserably.  

And like any other humbled private, she stood awaiting her reprimands.

“Tamora,” the handyman said after quietly drinking in the scene. “Were you…trying to make dinner?” 

Eyes cast downward, she gave him a sullen nod in response. 

The 8-bit removed his cap to scratch his head, recontextualizing her baffling behavior. 

“Well, I can understand how that can be stressful…But Tammy, you can’t just shoot up the place when things don’t go your way.”

Somehow, the calmness of Felix’s reaction stung worse than the anger she’d expect from anyone else in his shoes. Was this that “killing with kindness” business she’d heard about? If so, she had to admit it was an effective tactic.

“Did you take a calming breath?”

“I did…” Tamora swallowed. “Right before pumping the recipe book full of holes.”

Felix looked down, picking up the Swiss-cheese-like silhouette of his cookbook off the floor.

“You probably should have taken a second breath then, honeybadger,” he chuckled. 

The boiling pot of water caught his attention, and he stepped over to the burner to shut it off. His boot connected with the pot lid on the floor, and he felt its toasty temperature through his gloves as he picked it up. 

“Did you burn yourself?” the handyman looked up at her with concern. 

“It’s fine,” Tamora wrote it off, keeping her arms behind her back. 

“Tam,” Felix replied with a measure of annoyance. He held out his hand, and she reluctantly offered hers. 

His eyes went wide as he inspected her palm and fingers. 

“Well it’s no wonder you got so upset,” he said, gesturing to the red blisters on her delicate skin. “This is not fine.”

With a flick of his wrist, he wielded his hammer and lightly tapped it against her wound. A warm glow washed over her, and the stinging ceased. 

“Thank you…” this was the first time she’d experienced his reparative magic first-hand. She moved her fingers as a soft tingling sensation lingered; so that’s what it felt like. “But that doesn’t excuse what I did. I’m sorry.”

Wincing at the bits of pasta that crunched under her, Tamora knelt to match the handyman’s height. 

“You do so much, and I wanted to contribute. But it all blew up in my face.”

Felix smiled, and stepping over to the far pantry cabinet, pulled out the dustpan and broom.

“Then let's pick up the pieces together,” he said. 

While Tamora worked to sweep up the floor, Felix used his hammer to fix the cabinets and erase every bullet hole he could find. Last, but not least, he tapped the cookbook and flipped through its pages.

“Okay; spaghetti…” he hummed, placing the book on its stand atop the kitchen island. He did a double take at the frayed edges of a page still missing. “Honey? Where is the—” 

“Hmm?” Tamora moved quickly, standing straight as an arrow in front of the corner by the stove. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Tammy…” Felix moved his hands to his hips with an incredulous look. 

The sergeant sighed, stepping aside to reveal the book's missing page pinned to the wall with a chef’s knife.

For a moment, the handyman’s mouth hung open, and he closed it in a flat line across his face as he looked up at her. Unfortunately, there was no way around this one. She had very deliberately ripped out a page from his book and stabbed it.

“Sorry,” she said quickly. 

The handyman’s brows furrowed a bit, and he bubbled over with laughter. After a few moments, he gathered himself back up, shaking his head. Goodness, he loved her.

“We’re going to need that knife, sweetheart,” he tittered, gesturing for her to hand it over.

With one last guilty look, Tamora grabbed the handle and pulled back roughly. The knife came loose, and she handed it and the page over.

Felix set the knife down and repaired the torn page. Putting his hammer away, he smoothed his fingers over the book’s surface with a contented sigh.

“Alright, let's get started…” 

#Maybe someday I'll do a follow up with Felix teaching her #couldn't get myself to do it this round haha #hero's cuties #fix it felix #sergeant calhoun #crafty writes

[nokikissa]

anyway if anyone was curious about my opinions on the various Baldur's Gate 3 companions, here's my tierlist with way too elaborate tiernames of them now at 217 hours of playtime

#the two last tiers are kinda on their own sidebubble of idk how to stack them up against the rest lol #baldur's gate 3 #I've been using Gale in my lastest playthrough trying to fix that unfortunate first impression but have not succeeded so far #and maybe someday I'll get around to using Wyll #pointless text post is pointless

[morrigan-sims]

To anyone who's ever read my story: Thank you, and I'm so sorry I haven't posted anything in ages. I really, really, really want to keep working on it, I just kinda hit a wall with where to go next, and that has been killing me for months now.

(Basically, I have the entire last half or third of the story plotted out, but aside from a few scattered plot points, I don't know how to do the setup to get there. And the harder I try to brainstorm the emptier my brain gets. So I've kinda just stalled.)

#oh to have the same level of awesome inter-character interactions and cots.... #I'm just really bad at coming up with scene ideas that lead to those kinds of inter-character interactions aside from one-on-ones w/ Fallon #anyways. enough late night / early morning thoughts. #who knows maybe someday soon I'll have an insomnia week where I fix every single problem with RTQ/ATQH. #that'd be nice. #knowing me it will be during a week where sleep is critical tho. #since my last productive insomnia week was during my fall semester exam week lmao. very funny but also annoying as hell. #morrigan.txt #delete later #I make too many posts at odd hours. #I need to go the fuck to sleep. It's after 2am and I have to be up around 9am.

[arborstone]

rachel. she/they. 30s. NA. i use a queue. 👽

sideblogs: edits blog — writing blog — worldbuilding blog other: unsorted inspo blog — oc page

i love guild wars & other video games, writing & ocs, and sososo many other things. i am totally fine and completely normal. 18+ only!

also check out gamingscenery & space-divas!

#untitled.txt #barebones pinned post teehee #i'll fix it up. someday. maybe. maybe.

[desperatepleasures]

trying not to think about it but also i need to figure out what im gonna do with my hermit crabs and it's not like. urgent but at some point im gonna have to figure out how to change out their substrate and also there's a solid chance i'll have to rehome them someday :(

#(not rehoming them anytime soon but i wanna mentally prepare myself a little for when that day comes) #anyway re: substrate change. this is a 45gal tank filled with ~50lbs of sand etc. and i live in a 4th floor walkup #playsand comes in 25lb bags which i am not physically capable of carrying up 3 flights of stairs. my ex had to do it when we moved here #maybe i can like. hire someone to carry it up the stairs??? #but then i have to figure out how to dispose of their current substrate which again. LOTS of sand. #i could probably board them at work for a week or so in a smaller tank while i do the changeout #idk man it's just like. a lot #i feel bad their tank is so fucked and it's like. i can't physically fix the problem!!! #and as far as rehoming like. idk if move out someday i really doubt im gonna wanna move the tank. #i guess it depends on what kinda living situation im going to #and eventually i'll have to move out. or my roommate will move out and i won't be able to afford the mortgage on my own #and still have to move out lol #anyway again none of this is happening soon i just need to accept the reality of the situation #and like am i really gonna go through the nightmare logistics of a substrate change only to rehome them soon after? #but on the same token. am i really gonna give someone a nasty-ass tank? lmao #so. idk. i gotta think on that one. #i just feel bad for them i mean they have a fairly good quality of life #especially considering what most hermit crabs suffer lmao #but. i wish i could do better for them #i could probably find someone to take them at least because of my job lol #the logistics will suck no matter what and also i love those little guys and i'm getting sad just thinking about it :( #but they're only gonna get bigger and i definitely can't upgrade their tank in my current living situation #so either way something has to give ya know?

[master-of-fluff]

You know what i think is cool? When people make earily similar ocs i remember being like 11 and coming up with a naruto oc hikaru that was sasukes sister and then finding out that there was like hundreds of fics with the same premise right down to the very name, same with ninjago and the purple/silver ninja OCS except each one is unique in its own ways.

like the fandom just had a sort of hivemind like 'hey you know what this story needs this character that is so awesome' and we were right, the story was very much improved.

#Fluff posts #and maybe some people are just stealing others ideas #But for me naruto was my first fandom and I had just gotten access to social media #So I had no idea Hikari/akari was a cliche thing #I was kind of upset that I wasn't the first but looking back I think its kind of funny #also yes my Hikari has had permanent affects on me and my personality #In case you can't tell by the fact alone that most my username are some variation of hikari_hateke #Aside from my tumblr #tho said oc has changed a lot in my mind (again in case you can't tell by the last name) #shes basically the self insert i stick in every fandom of mine #naruto tmnt tfp trb usm etc etc #i have like 15 seperate backstories for her no joke #including genderbend versions of her as 'hikaru' #ironic that she pretty much consumes my mind but I simply don't talk about her #eh maybe I'll make some fanfics about her story(s) someday and not just keep it in my head #actually that's a horrible idea cuz then I have to take the time to actually fix all the loopholes to said stories in my head never mind #you'll have to pry her/him put of my head with a crowbar

[piecesofchess]

He was so much wasted potential

#pirate101 #p101 #pitty fandom #commander typhon #memes #contessa argento #the little fight against typhon is so so lame #i think rooke could easily beat his ass 1v1 ngl #i mourn what typhon could've been. maybe someday i'll fix him and make him a cool character

[beangods]

my darkest pair of "black" jeans has faded noticeably so as you can imagine my life is in shambles rn

#i tried to dye them over the summer w rit but even with the fixative it lasted 3 washes max so MAYBE someday i'll try again with jaquard. #for now point and laugh at gray pants goth boy :(

[neverendingford]

.

#tag talk #vent #I don't wanna do the whole “I'm so good at psychology cause I've fixed myself. I should go into counseling” thing that overly empathetic #empathetic people do. but like. nothing like deconstructing a tense social conflict to make you feel good #the smol autistic minecraft enby who adopted me had a moment and I helped break down the situation and resolve shit with them. it was cool #but also I immediately went out to the living room and napped for three hours. thinning that hard was exhausting. #do you ever do the depression nap thing? when I'm doing well I never sleep during the day. but when I'm sad I take naps a lot #because I don't want to be awake and I sleep poorly at I night and am just generally lethargic so I nap on the floor or couch a lot #ugh knowing the stress will go away doesn't help the fact that it's super awful right now. #it's times like this that I wish I'd really committed to it in Feb. like. in two weeks I'll be better and joy de vivre and all that. #but right now? ugh. big fuckin ugh #the minecraft emotional labor thing is just a natural responsibility of being a 25 year old playing online video games with 15 year olds. #if I see a situation blowing up I can't hear sit by and watch someone destroy their friendships on the server. I have to help #but also bro I am struggling to help myself. maybe I say I'm packing up my pc early so that I have a good excuse to stay off the server #I literally did the thing again where I make new friends. make everyone love me. and then get burnt out at the speed of light and disappear #making friends is so easy. leaving friends is so easy. nothing is forever and we all die someday. blah blah blah you know it already #meaningless meaningless. all is meaningless. maybe king Solomon was just fuckin depressed when he wrote that. sure sounds like it to me. #I just can't do anything when I'm like this. we're subsistence living now bois. #I wonder if part of my neurological damage is from the lead I used to eat in high school. #the windex shots can't have been good for me. but I don't think that stays in your body the same way #though it did fuck up my urinary tract for a few months. that was wild. #anyway. I wonder how much of my chronic periodic funk is just effects from bad choices and how much is normal natural inevitable. #everything is an ocean. nothing is a lake. the waves are always thirty feet high and the troughs scrape you on the bottom of the reef #nothing is midline except when you're rushing through to one extreme or another. #you're either overstimulated or absent from your body entirely #both of which cause wild and oft unbearable dissociation. #everything gets better and everything gets worse. I'm only like this when I'm stressed. but that's my secret cap (avengers reference) #anyway. I'll survive. I'll make it. I'll live because I need to become even more gay to make my family mad. #I need to keep living so my dad realizes just how much he's lost touch. #so my mom cries about how she should have done something differently so I wouldn't grow up gay. because that makes so much sense right?

[areyoudoingthis]

success!! i managed to have a text conversation with my parents without having a mental breakdown

#my father won't stop calling me daughter i swear 50 therapists wouldn't be able to fix that man #on the upside my bank account is now in my real name #not my deadname nor the name they made up for me because they apparently have trouble reading ids ???? #and maybe someday this decade I'll have my new cards #apparently getting new cards involves some sort of dark magic that can only be cast during the new moon #otherwise i don't understand why it takes so many steps to request them #anyway small victories #I'm getting closer to the end goal of never seeing my deadname again on any official paperwork #alex txt

[dandelion-wings]

at the barn today I was thinking about arranged-marriage Jean/Kaeya (either a full royalty AU or the Gunnhildr heir marrying the ‘prince’ of Khaenri’ah, and part of the plot is related to the fact that, whoops, the Alberich family are misrepresenting themselves to Mondstadt) but also thinking about how there are certain elements of Kaeya’s personality and Jean/Kaeya in general I like that feel to me like they rely on him spending at least some time with Crepus and Diluc

and the resolution my brain arrived at was that Kaeya did come to Mondstadt and live with Crepus and Diluc, undercover, then vanished at some point. Possibly after the fight with Diluc? Love the idea of his divided loyalties meaning he goes home and talks people into a new plan or something

and as far as Jean knows she married some mystery person who always hides their face, or an Abyss monster or what have you, and this borrows the plot element from East of the Sun and West of the Moon where he shows up in human form in her bed every night but refuses to let her look at her face, except I’m pretty sure Jean would abide by The Rules there and thank goodness because I actually hate the questing part of East of the Sun and West of the Moon (it’s so tediously long!) and don’t want to rewrite that particular fairytale. XD;;

But anyway this obviously would hinge to a certain extent on the Khaenri’ahan ‘prince’ she married (I still like the idea of the political plot turning in part on the misrepresentation) turning out to be Diluc’s long-lost adopted little brother whom she! was friends with! Probably there is a curse element here--actually I just thought of this but okay he is in a monster form and this is the only way the curse of Khaenri’ah can be broken for an Alberich or something, I need to ponder that a bit more--and someone tries to trick her into failing it as part of the overall politics here

(this goes a bit Beauty-and-the-Beast-ish if you take the failure-and-quest bit out of EotSaWotM and god that name is tedious even abbreviated. as tedious as the actual fairytale. I hate it so much it has the ONE GOOD BIT and then the rest is a drag, but imagine Kaeya, forced by the curse-breaking formula not to reveal himself to her, leaning on every scrap of knowledge he remembers from their teenage years to try and impress his reluctant, if grimly dutiful, bride)

#and now i'll tuck this into the folder of story ideas i'd love to play with more someday and probably never will #jean and kaeya run this city #...i keep considering making a 'fic ideas' tag #maybe when i do the big tag fix i keep telling myself i'll have time at some point to do #in a windless land

[mypunkpansexualtwin]

Gotten to a point where most days I'm okay, but sometimes I'm still just consumed by incandescent rage and choking grief with no way to stop it, the only way out is through four hours of sobbing like a little bitch while wanting to go to a bar and pick a fight with a homophobe four times my size.

It's fine tho

It's totally fine

Don't worry about it.

#answers to questions nobody asked #will i do anything about it? no. will i forever resent the cause of my second suicide attempt in 9 months? you bet your ass i will #maybe someday I'll kill the parts of me that will always want an apology for their fuckups after i owned mine #maybe someday I'll kill the even more pathetic part that's always gonna wanna fix things #who knows maybe someday I'll beat a metaphorical motherfucker with another metaphorical motherfucker #logan's bitching again