#medical transitioning is important but that doesn't mean it is *more* important or that only *it* is important

[uncanny-tranny]

Social transition being seen (by some) as this super easy thing that isn't as hard as real transitioning (medical) is bullshit. Be critical of the idea that there are some trans people who just "have it easy" because they are trans or because they are trans in ways you may not be.

Social transition is just as difficult, hard, and rewarding as medical transition. Maybe it is not as hard for some, sure, but that is not the same as thinking that social transition is inherently easier or lesser. If you're socially transitioning, your voice still matters.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #not to mention that so many people DO want to medically transition but *can't* #so it can be even harder for some when they feel social transition is their only option when they don't want it to be #but social transition carries its own risks and challenges and again rewards #and i've seen this idea plenty where it's like 'oh you don't GET my struggles because you're SOCIALLY transitioning' #and while yes i am different than some trans people to say i'm struggling *more* if i'm the only one medically transitioning is??? huh???? #i don't buy into this idea that social transition is never scary because you don't have the boot of the medical system on your back #(though non-med or pre-med transitioning people still face issues in medical settings so even THEN we aren't seperate) #like there's very few ways you can separate my issues as a medically-transitioning person and the issues of somebody who isn't... #...and by that i mean there's few ways you can separate our issues so that mine trumps theirs or that i'm seen as like... trans but More #does that make sense? #medical transitioning is important but that doesn't mean it is *more* important or that only *it* is important #you can support us who are medically transitioning without erasing the experiences and struggles of other trans people #and plus... so many of us who are medically transitioning NOW are the people who socially transitioned THEN #and dare i say i despised social transition more because of how hard it was? medical transition has been (more or less) easier... #...in that i can just *be* now

[genderkoolaid]

Transandrophobia: A F.A.Q

!! Please see this updated version !!

If you find this FAQ useful and/or you want to help me out, you can donate to me here.

What is transandrophobia?

It is transphobia that targets transmasculinity. Some people also refer to it as transmisandry or anti-transmasculinity.

What are some examples of transandrophobia?

Laws blocking medical transition or puberty blockers, which come from fearmongering about "young girls ruining their bodies to become men"

The idea that AFAB trans people only transition to escape misogyny and gain male privilege

The idea that transmascs are "betraying" womanhood by transitioning, and that it would be more feminist of them to "stay women"

The erasure of transmasculine voices, history, and culture, to the point that many people do not know that transmasculine people exist, or think that transmasculine people do not face violence because they don't hear about it

Being refused important medical exams and treatment because they are only for women (such as pap smears) for transmasculine people who are legally male.

Testosterone being a protected substance which people can be fined or arrested for having without permission from a doctor.

Also see my examples of transandrophobia tag for more, and my experiences with transandrophobia tag for people's real-life accounts, and the Archive of Violence Against Transmasculine People.

Androphobia doesn't exist, though, so how can transphobia intersect with it?

The term "transandrophobia" was made to emphasize the targeting of transmasculinity, not to represent an intersection between transphobia and androphobia; the same goes for "transmisandry". Transunity theory considers misandry to be one of the "three arms of transphobia", along with misogyny and misandrogyny. All forms of transphobia view trans people as having the negative traits of masculinity/manhood and femininity/womanhood, as well as the negative trait of being unable to fit into either binary option (androgyny). This is also why transunitism uses "transmisogyny" to mean transphobia targeting transfemininity and not just as the intersection of transphobia and misogyny it was originally coined as. Alongside exorsexism/ceterophobia/nonbinaryphobia, the use of these three terms to express transphobia targeted towards different groups allows us to discuss the way different groups of trans people are perceived and treated. To quote this article, "Misandry [...] can never reliably be prevented from collapsing into transphobia." Negative traits associated with masculinity (aggression, hypersexuality, dirtiness, being a danger to vulnerable/innocent women, etc.) are used as justification to attack all kinds of trans people based on trans people as a class's unique relationship with gender, as well as intersex people's. These negative traits are also frequently used as justification for the oppression of marginalized men, who are seen as both an opponent of dominant masculinity and a threat to dominant femininity. Cis men do not need to be systematically oppressed in the same way as cis women in order for misandry/androphobia/antimasculism to be an aspect of transphobia and play a role in other forms of oppression.

Does transandrophobia mean transfems oppress transmascs?

No, not at all. Trans people cannot oppress each other for being trans; none of us have the systematic power to do that. Transfems can be transandrophobic, but that is lateral aggression. Transfems do not have any social power over transmascs. Transandrophobia is built and propagated by cis people and they are the ones who have power over us. Anyone who argues that transfems are uniquely/especially transandrophobic, that they have class privilege over transmascs, or that transmascs should separate from the wider trans community are either not arguing in good faith, or are transmisogynistic and should not be listened to.

I've heard some really bad things about the coiner of the word transandrophobia.

Firstly, the accusations at Saint were a part of a smear campaign that heavily distorted the facts to make him seem like an awful person. He also coined "transandrophobia" as an alternative to a pre-existing term, "transmisandry" - he did not create the idea nor did he start the discussion on it, merely the term now most widely used. See this explanation by doberbutts, a black trans man. But regardless of how you feel about Saint, he gets no material benefit from the use of his word. He gets no money from transandrophobia being used, it does not "support" him in any way. The word was coined in good faith to give transmascs a word to describe our experiences with specific forms of transphobia. See the "genetic" and "guilt by association" fallacies.

Why is it important to have this word?

Why is it important to have the word transmisogyny, or exorsexism/nbphobia? Those could also be grouped under "general transphobia", but it's vital that we don't because we need to understand where certain ideas come from. Bathroom bills don't just come from a general hatred of trans people - fearmongering about transfems being sexual predators is what causes them. Ignoring the transmisogyny rooted in these bathroom bills obscures the true motivation behind them. "There are only two genders" is transphobic, but it isn't based in a hatred for binary trans people - it's aimed at nonbinary people specifically. Fears about the destruction of gender come largely from nonbinary existence. Laws against transitioning do not come from fears about trans women, they come from the idea of young girls "corrupting themselves" by cutting their hair, taking testosterone, and getting affirmative surgery. By being able to point out where exactly certain transphobic ideas come from, we can better fight transphobia as a whole; that's the idea behind transunitism.

Additionally, discussing transandrophobia has helped many people (myself included) become more comfortable identifying as transmasc/trans men. Transandrophobic and antimasculist ideas are unfortunately very frequent even in queer spaces, leading many people to avoid identifying as transmasc. Speaking out about transandrophobia helps people realize that the problem exists, and heal from the damage it has caused.

This is meant to be a primer for people who dont know much about transandrophobia, to clear up common misconceptions and introduce some ideas. Please do more research into transandrophobia and the nuances of it when you can.

Further Resources:

""Transandrophobia" Primer" by nothorses

"As a transfem, what's your insight on the way transmascs are treated when talking about their experiences?" by cipheramnesia

"This is just your regular free-of-charge reminder that when people argue that transandrophobia does not exist, or that its not important enough to talk about, they are explicitly saying they don't care about sexual assault victims or victims of suicide (among other things)" by nothorses

"Transandrophobia Posts Masterpost- 2022" by transgentlemanluke

Pinned post with links to discussions about transandrophobia, baeddelism, and other issues by nothorses

"What is transandophobia actually?" by transmasc-pirate, with additions by doberbutts and psychoticallytrans

"Transandrophobic Fundamentals and the Intersections of Trans Masc Marginalization" by none-gender-left-man

"Hello, I apologise if you've already received questions like this, but can you explain why you would say that transmisandry/androphobia is distinct from misogyny?" by transfaguette

"I Am A Transwoman. I Am In The Closet. I Am Not Coming Out." by Jennifer Coates — not transandrophobia related, but a very valuable read.

This conversation between doberbutts and folly-of-alexandria on how transandrophobia differs from general transphobia and why it's important, which lists some further examples of how transandrophobia manifests in life.

Transandrophobia Explained carrd, by myself

Transmisogyny is not the intersection of transphobia and misogyny by luckyladylily

This post on misogyny, misandry, and transandrophobia by thorne1345

"tumblr can make fun of Blizzard’s Oppression Calculator all they want, that’s exactly how people act with discourse poisoned queer discussions" by cardentist

Invisible Men: FTMs and Homelessness in Toronto by the FTM Safer Shelter Project Research Team

On Hating Men (And Becoming One) by Noah Zazanis, an analysis of transmasculinity in feminism & Marxist feminst "unity theory"

#transandrophobia #m. #examples of transandrophobia #antimasculism #experiences with transandrophobia

[fox-steward]

hi, your blog is incredibly interesting- i genuinely didn't realise there was a not conservative side of the gender critical sphere. i've been on testosterone for about 7 months now, so far this has been making me feel more like myself. personally I am not thinking about 'gender' but rather what i want to look and sound like- this has been working better than the whole 'gender is a feeling' thing..which is definitely a theory! If its okay to ask, what are your thoughts on medical transition?

i think medical transition is, broadly, very harmful.

it harms the individual: disrupts natural hormone cycles, negatively impacts cardiovascular health, negatively impacts reproductive functioning, creates an artifice which the individual comes to rely on to "feel like themself," thereby severing that person from true authenticity, necessitating the person remain a lifelong medical patient to keep all effects of hormones, subjecting the person to unnecessary risk of surgery, including death. it costs a lot of money and time that you don't actually have to spend. there is no evidence it correlates with mental health improvement, and it is my opinion that by focusing on transition, people do not attend to the areas of their lives that actually need and would benefit from attention and intervention.

it harms the group: gays and lesbians are disproportionately impacted by medical transition; gender non-conformity (which homosexuality is a form of) has become pathologized; now young lesbians and gays are not only growing up in a culture dominated by heterosexuality and rife with homophobia, they also have to navigate the pervasive message that they might benefit from transition. when i was a kid i was told by adults that i was "trying to be a man," that real women are not lesbians, and eventually i agreed with them. that gender non-conformity is seen as a precursor to "trans identification" only makes this worse--it's like, you get the "what, are you trying to be a man >:( ??!!" but also, "what, are you trying to be a man <=D ??!!" messaging. and what chance do we stand against attacks from all sides?

it is harmful to all women: look around at misogyny--devaluing women's opinions as vapid or lesser, assuming women are weak and fickle, dismissing women's perspectives and ideas, preying on women and girls sexually, seeing women as one-dimensional vessels for the transformation of the men around them--of COURSE girls don't "feel like a woman" these days, who would? instead of looking at the way society treats women and the disidentification it is producing among youth as the blazing alarm that it is, trans culture has wedged itself between women and liberation with the suggestion that "maybe you're not a woman if you don't feel like one?" never minding that "feeling like one" generally means liking being objectified, belittled, seen as weak, ignored, simultaneously not being taken seriously but being blamed for things. not only does this derail the actually important conversation about misogyny, but it leaves women and girls vulnerable to the predation of medical transition, which as i mentioned above, is harmful physically, emotionally, socially, and financially.

also, i would argue there are actually no conservative "gender critical" people. conservatives tend to reject gender non-conformity and embrace traditional gender roles; ain't no way to be critical of gender while holding central traditional gender roles. conservatives may be "trans critical," but they're not actually "gender critical." trans ideology has a lot in common with conservatives when it comes to gender, actually. both reinforce traditional gender stereotypes; how different is "i'm masculine and fit in more with boys than girls, so i must really be a man" from "i'm not a man, so i can't act masculinely, i must act femininely" really? they are threads of the same rope and that rope holds us prisoner, it doesn't free us. true gender non-conformity is being female but realizing that your masculine nature doesn't change anything about you (trans ideology), nor does it need to change itself (conservative ideology).

i know you didn't ask for this part, but you're here in my inbox, so here you go: doesn't it strike you as strange that it's taking synthetic medical intervention to make you "feel like yourself?" is the route to authenticity really via the path of cosmetic surgery and synthetic hormones?

it's either intellectually dishonest or intellectually lazy to stop at you're just "thinking about...how you want to look and sound." WHY do you want to look masculinized and have a deeper voice? there is a zero-percent chance the answer to that question is entirely separate from how those traits get you treated in society. and that's the impact of misogyny. and please don't misunderstand this as me suggesting you should not be masculine--i just don't think you have to subject yourself to the harms of medical transition in order to BE masculine.

and i say this as someone who took these steps, who masculinized with a mastectomy and many years of testosterone. i get that there are certain advantages to appearing as a man in society despite being a woman, but largely these are individual advantages for ME that come at the expense of WOMEN. thinking i'm a man, men take me more seriously; this impacts women by reinforcing the idea that men deserve consideration when women's voices don't, and it means that i don't have to advocate for women to be taken seriously because I don't personally need it; it runs the risk of making me complacent to this phenomenon, convincing me that surely women are exaggerating when they share their experiences because i don't have such a hard time of things, all the men are nice to me. see how pernicious it is?

because i'm 5'10", skinny, and with a flat chest, many people think i'm a man when i'm running. this means i can run at night, with headphones in, in new places--all basically without fear. the stories other women tell me make it clear this isn't the case for them. some women i know don't run outside anymore at all because of how men treat them, sexualize them, harass them, prey on them. so i get that it is a clear advantage to appear as a man sometimes; this is one thing i'm actually really grateful for. but it is not worth the damage i did to my body, it isn't worth the sense of alienation i sometimes feel from women, a sense i also felt with men, even when i was pretending to be "one of them," it isn't worth the money and time and effort i spent trying to convincingly imitate men that i could have spent on things that would actually nurture me and my life.

"gender is a feeling" certainly is a theory, but so is "transition makes me more myself," and one is about as good as the other.

we are not alive to simply take our thoughts and feelings at face value! interrogate your feelings and your ideas! we live in a culture and none of us are immune to that. something something unexamined life.

best of luck, i'm rooting for you.

#gender critical #detransition #radfem #radical feminism #detrans #asked #answered #transgender #anonymous #anon

[laundryandtaxes]

When the whole thing is said and done, I hope that what comes out of the medical scandal of pediatric transition is an understanding not just of the fact that it's important not to let ideology guide practice such that real physicians tell outright lies, ideological abstractions, and/or functionally religious beliefs (that one may have been born in the wrong body, or that one may have the wrong variety of brain in their body, or that one could possibly be "harmed" by going through one's natural puberty in and of itself, etc) to patients who are literally too young to distinguish between lies and truth, but also an understanding that what happened here on the whole with the medical approach to gender dysphoria was a total abdication of duty to provide least invasive practices first, total refusal to provide justification for the practice of selling extreme body modification to people who are at least often obsessively convinced that something is wrong with their body when medicine doesn't do this regularly for any other patients with body distress, total failure of safeguarding practices in a patient group very likely to contain vulnerable and otherwise emotionally distressed patients, and most of all a refusal to even try to address the mental health concerns of a group of people that these physicians just decided on no basis (there are no large studies comparing overall outcomes with transition treated as an actual variable, wherein some people are given one treatment, others none, others another treatment, underlying this practice) were too ill to respond to all of the practices we have already accepted as approaches to psychological distress.

This is at the heart of why ROGD has so many people freaked out- sure, those people who show signs of extreme gender nonconformity in childhood, who grow more distressed than normal at the onset of puberty because it means a loss of the androgyny that protects so much of child gender nonconformity, who are likely to grow into crossdressing homosexual or bisexual adults, who are more likely than other people to struggle with obsessive and compulsive tendencies, who are more likely to struggle to connect with other people socially, I'm sure they require surgical and hormonal body modification in order to live happy and healthy lives, but I am quite sure that no such treatment is right for my sweet, outgoing, heterosexual daughter who until 6 months ago was never very gender nonconforming. People like her deserve extra safeguarding so that the only treatment medicine ever even attempted at scale for this psychological problem is reserved for the people who truly cannot be integrated into society any other way. It is really quite deeply offensive that, because very gender nonconforming people are less valued, we got none of the normal safeguarding or study or approach to treatment that people who approach doctors with broken bones or other physical problems receive. Of course there is always some very real chance that we just happened upon the "right" treatment, but for one thing we don't know that because we simply never tried anything less invasive the way one normally does in medicine (let alone actual comparative studies different potential treatment options) and for another it's currently being sold to people using ideological abstractions or functionally religious concepts that have no basis in reality like the concept of being born in the wrong body. Those are both problems no matter how long medicine is allowed to continue ignoring them, which by the way will not be forever. If medicine cannot reign itself in, if it cannot police itself, then the only actors left to reign it in are all much more susceptible to their own forms of ideological capture than medicine was, such as state legislatures, which is bad for everyone in the same way that state intervention in doctor/patient decisions is almost always bad for everyone.

#done #once i realized the majority of patients are still dysphoric when they are #which of course the goalposts always move for us because the problem isn't actually any of our body parts #but that when done we are on the whole not just still a little dysphoric but able to ignore it but still extremely obsessed #i was like okay so what the fuck are they selling us and on what basis are they selling it #and i looked really hard for that basis but mostly it seems nobody even believes they need to justify what theyre selling #it is astounding

[tyrannuspitch]

as a trans gay guy, my relationship to the concept of the butch/transmasc overlap is so so weird. because on one level it's by and large a real social phenomenon that underlies a lot of common experiences and draws communities together and so on. but then on another level. like. some of us (transmascs) just Are Not Butch. i recently read fun home, and i was really struck by bechdel's account of butchness and how it... didn't actually resonate with me at all. like, i'm very familiar with feeling uncomfortable with conventional femininity, and with wanting to look male - but i keep re-realising that the experience of specifically aspiring to masculinity is just alien to me. in particular, bechdel describes feeling like she might have been compensating for her dad's femininity, and like... i've never felt anything like that. i've tried to put distance between myself and women's femininity, but i've only ever looked at fem men and felt jealous of them.

but then i look at the cis gay male community for examples of male femininity, and of course, it has its own gnc/trans overlap. and i don't aspire to trans womanhood any more than i aspire to cis womanhood.

so for people on those two cusps, gender and orientation might be very fluid and open-ended, but my personal desired gender expression is actually quite narrow and a very delicate balance - narrower and more specific even than a lot of other fem gay trans guys i've encountered.

what's more, i've heard from a lot of people on the transmasc/butch cusp in particular that, essentially, they know they're queer because they're attracted to women, and the rest is hazier, but maybe also less important. which is an interesting perspective, but again - completely alien to me. gender comes first for me, without a doubt - and even that can be subdivided. orientation comes after gender, but a positive sense of maleness also comes after a completely fundamental sense of non-femaleness. gender and sexuality are entangled for both of us - but once again, in opposite ways.

i conceive of myself as a binary man, but even so, it's like... almost a nonbinary experience, in a way. like, in very old-fashioned views of queerness, there are two basic types of queer - the butch-lesbian-transhet-man group and the fem-gay-transhet-woman group. there are male inverts and female inverts, FtMs and MtFs, or in polari, omee-palones and palone-omees (men-women and women-men). and someone like me just... doesn't fit into that framework. if an invert is a man with a woman's soul or a woman with a man's soul, what is a woman with the soul of a man with the soul of a woman? you need more layers. you need to recognise that gender and orientation are, or at least can be, separable experiences to be able to conceive of me at all. and ironically that often means you have to frame orientation almost like a gender, again - i believe lou sullivan referred to himself as female-to-gay-male, and i can see why.

but at the same time - we've allegedly come so far, and people can now nominally conceive of identities like mine - but it's still a huge struggle to even begin to express it. how do you reconcile rejection of cisfemininity and womanhood with a genuine desire to be subtly feminine/effeminate? i haven't found a way yet. i don't know if it will be possible until i can access medical transition (and even then, it might take years.) so in the meantime, i look butch, and i just have to live with the fact that the identity i'm broadcasting is the direct opposite of who i really want to be.

idk man. i'm a trans man, but maybe i'm transandrogynous. but it has to be the right androgyny, an androgyny i feel is "male", so maybe i'm not! i'm a faggot trapped in a dyke's body. i'm transitioning from one queer gender expression to another, and while i do feel a degree of solidarity and commonality with actual butches, i also feel like butchness is, for me, nearly as suffocating and dissonant as cisfemininity.

and reading this back now, i've realised i'm doing the same thing over again - i'm conflating my own gayness with my own desire for androgyny(?)/effeminacy(?), and somewhere out there, a fem transhet guy or a butch transhet girl is groaning with exactly the same kind of alienation i often feel.

god. gender is so complicated and so important and so stupid at the same time. why does it have to be so hard!!! we all just want to exist.

#don't know if i have a tag for gender musings. #dk if this makes sense either but i'm done with it now so goodbye

[obeymesheep]

Can you do one when MC comes out as transgender to all the Obey Me brothers? :]

of course <3

Transgender Mc

Lucifer Mammon Leviathan

You/your mc

Part 2 !Here!

I kept it more neutral as they never specified if they wanted something more gendered! but i hope you all enjoy anyway

Lucifer

He probably understands better than anyone, to change so quickly with everyone expecting certain things from him, is something he went through during his fall.

Luci helps the best he can though, need a really specific type of human clothing so you feel whole? He custom orders one to your measurements and enchants it with glamour and self love.

Depending on if you medically transition, he definitely massages scar cream into your skin and helps you through the process of healing, when you can't reach above your head without being in pain, when you clean your self without help, and when you can't change your self without struggling he will be there.

He will also understand how hard it can be to not medically transition, he knows the pressure and knows not wanting to scar your body or just being scared, he lets you know often how he supports you through anything and loves you unconditionally whatever body you're in <3

Mammon

Being a model in the demon fashion industry he's met tons like you, and knows how to ask important questions! What are your pronouns? How comfortable are you wearing certain types of clothes? Do you feel comfortable in this pose? I mean most trans people he meets are models and these are model orientated questions but still!

 Definitely super respectful of your boundaries, he's clingy but wants to be clingy in a way that makes you feel comfortable! Even if he's only holding your hand!

If you medically transition, he's def gonna kiss your scars even if there just stretch marks! You think it's kinda corny but overall sweet <3 I think he would also work as a compression blanket, he likes to lay on top of you and just minor-ly suffocate you <3

Mammon is your ride or die, it doesn't matter what you look like to him! He will hundred percent kill anyone who thinks they can say shit! He's your first man after all, and nobody messes with his treasure!!

Leviathan

Understands how annoying it can be to have people judge you and is always there to comfort you and help you through the process!

Levi is probably the best person to go to for some relief of gender, he just doesn't really care about that kind of stuff, and when you're sick of people walking on eggshells around you his couch always has a spot for you!

OMG cosplay gender euphoria!! You pick out a character and Levi does the rest, he tailors the costume to best suit your body while still giving the desired effect, he does really great contour so your face is soooo gender, and by the end you look so good and euphoric! Levi just understands your body type!

He goes to pride anime events with you, you get to talk to people who would understand the most and people who like anime! He just follows you around like a puppy and a supportive boyfriend!!

#creams fluff #creams headcannons #obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios #obey me shall we date #obey me x reader #obey me #obey me mammon #obey me lucifer #obey me leviathan #obey me levi

[k-ru-h]

anyways fuck it im explaining the whole song now

whats important to remember is that serbia is nowhere near the level of development that western europe is on. five centuries under the ottoman empire followed almost immediately by two world wars left the country (and the whole balkan region) falling apart. corrupt politicians, ridicilous amounts of gang violence, extreme religious views, and overall shitty life standards created a horrible little hell hole. the song is, in essence, about how shitty the healthcare system here is and how artists cant get insurance under almost any circumstances.

the first line is in reverse, it means "a sick mind in a healthy body".

the beginning is very clearly about toxic beauty culture, how she only views an enlarged spleen as something ugly, not a serious medical problem. she talks about meghan markles beauty routine, which makes sense — people here tend to look up to western celebrities even more than western people themselves, seeing the promises of the american dream and wanting that for themselves. i repeat, living here is fucking miserable and people really want to pretend they live the "glamorous" american life. also, illness is almost taboo here, with our own cultural views on work making us ashamed to admit we need medical help. honestly, asking for help at all is a massive taboo. as long as you can cover it up, as long as you still look beautiful and glamorous like those american celebrities, youre fine.

the "umetnica mora biti zdrava (artist (f) must be healthy)" part, which is usually why this song is mocked, doesnt really have that much importance until the later parts but keep it in mind.

the part after that, about her... walking her dog, is slowly transitioning into the next, main topic of the song: the fact that she, as an artist, cant have medical insurance. here she starts off calmly describing a sunny day and how shes glad she doesnt have to worry about her heart beating because of her autonomous nervous system, only for it to become sort of frantic as she's almost praying her heart keeps beating. if it doesnt, if something goes wrong, no ones going to save her. she has to rely on her body to stay healthy, or she'll have no option but to just... die.

after that, the song sounds like something youd hear in a church. our country is, i repeat, VERY religious, as is our anthem, literally called "bože pravde" (god of justice). in the anthem, it references how god will save us from illness, and it ties into her previous frantic singing — she's praying for her health, like our country told us to, because the country itself betrayed her. "(bože zdravlja) nemam knjižicu" ("(god of health) i dont have [health insurance]")

the next part is satire, with her mocking the government for surveiling its citizens in the name of "the greater good", or in this case, health. she jokes about being invisible, about how its a superpower, while in reality it just means she's, well, fucked.

ok so! now its relevant! "umetnica može biti zdrava" ("artist (f) can be healthy") is a repetition of the previous part, except now it reveals how the government, in reality, doesn't give a shit about her. they dont care if she's healthy, she doesnt have to be.

"in corpore sano" means "in a healthy body", which, yknow, she literally has to be. a weak mind in a healthy body, a sad soul in a healthy body. a despairing mind in a healthy body, a frightened mind in a healthy body. this could be about one of two things, tho i believe its about the latter. it coule be about how only the people in admittedly miserable jobs can afford medical insurance, or how shes a desperate mind clinging onto its, for now, healthy body.

in the end she asks what will we do now and to answer her question, absolutely nothing. nothing ever gets better here.

#eurovision #serbia

[genderstarbucks]

I'm curios on your thoughts on agab terms. If you're comfortable talking about it.

The way I see it used, in general, seems really exclusionary of intersex, trans, nonbinary, gnc, and anyone who doesn't fit into rigid binary ideals of male and female. (So cis people are excluded under this too, like say a cis woman with prominent body hair or a cis man who's short, for simplest examples.)

It's always about, like, agab bodies, agab genitals, agab hormones, agab organs, agab socialisation, agab chromasomes. And it just doesn't work. Like even considering agab in a more literal sense, like intersex people being assigned a sex without their say, that can only go so far. With current technology it's impossible to assign internal organs, chromosomes, and even with surgery and hrt, that still doesn't change the experience of being different, of getting such changes rather than always having them. But agab just groups everyone under the same category, and erases those differences.

And for trans people, I think it leads and perpetuates a lot of incorrect information as well, some of which gets into the territory of sexism too. Like the idea of agab bodies, when applied to trans people, it just makes a lot of assumptions about what genitals they have, what organs they have, what hormones they have, etc. which just isn't true. And for those who don't medically transition, which is fine, lumping them into the same category are cis people really erases their trans identity. Like for example, a non medically transitioning trans man isn't just exactly as a cis woman, or a non medically transitioning trans woman isn't just the same as a cis man. I feel like it's really erasing something there, and under agab they're just treated as the same.

And I feel like I see it used to be really weird about biology too, like "oh it's important for your doctor to know your agab!" For the most unrelated things. Like a flu is a flu, fixing that illness isn't about chromosomes, or agab, or whatever, but it's treated as if it is. I wonder if people who say things like that know what trans broken arm syndrome is, how trans people can have completely unrelated issues blamed and refused to treat because of them being trans. Of course, even for things where "sex matters", intersex people mess up that system. Or even just perisex people with some mild difference. Like women can be autistic do, but people think of it as a "biological sex" thing, and so say only men can be autistic. But that's just not the case right. Agab terms just remind me of that. Another pointless oh but sex matters thing. Except maybe worse, since I feel like people have started accepting sex can be changed (think trans surgeries), so they just replaced it with agab, which is forever assigned and can't be changed.

There is more to be said about it, how it just weirdly separates men and women as different species, and drags trans people into it with the whole forever assigned thing, but I've already typed too much haha /lh

So I mean I guess it's obvious I don't really like agab terms, but then I see people like you (or I guess actually you're the only one I've seen) who use it as self identifiers, instead of boxes to shove other people into, and are quite inclusive with it (like people can be transmasc/transfem regardless of agab sort of thing). So that does get me wondering about my distaste for agab language. I mean you seem to really identify with it, it'd be mean to say you can't use that word for yourself.

This turned out more negative than positive, but you seem to be using it pretty positively, so it got me wondering about your ideas with agab terms. /gen

Basically how I see them is that they can be self-identifiers and they can be useful terms, but only in certain situations

Like you said, agab shouldn't matter at all with things like going to the doctor for a cold or something completely unrelated (shoutout to the time I went to the doctor for a cough and he asked me if there was any chance that I could be pregnant like what 😭)

Afab and amab shouldn't be used like how tme and tma are, people are literally just using them as a different binary to put people into

Obviously I see my afabness as a very important part of my gender identity and other people don't and that's completely okay

And like what you said, people of the same agab can have different experiences

Like many afab people have more testosterone than other afab people

I see agab terms as terms that should only be brought up in conversations where it actually matters (such as this one, or someone stating their experiences as an amab person) or as self-identifiers

And they most definitely are exclusive of intersex people, since most of the time intersex people are assigned afab or amab

Like just because someone has F on their birth certificate doesn't mean they're gonna have the same experiences as someone else with F on their birth certificate yk?

And the fact that I'm the only person you've seen who uses agab as a self-identifier and is inclusive with it is kinda sad tbh 😭 like people should be able to identify as transmasc or transfem regardless of their agab

Transmasc and transfem just mean being trans and transitioning to masculinity/femininity, agab shouldn't matter and it should be up to the person on whether or not they wanna use those terms

Honestly people are just using agab terms as boxes to push people into, like it's literally just a new binary that's "inclusive"

And also like what you said about trans people with a certain agab, just because that's their agab doesn't mean they're gonna have every single afab trait if they're afab (and especially if they transition)

Just because both me and a cis woman are afab doesn't mean we're the same, I could have a dick but still be afab (I mean I don't but ykwim)

You basically just stated everything wrong with agab terms, how they're exclusionary and also rigid boxes to put us into that are labeled as "inclusive"

Just because some doctor took one look at our genitals and decided "yep, that's a female/male" doesn't mean that that should have to determine the rest of our lives

So basically, the only good way I see that agab terms can be used is for self-identifiers and in conversations or other situations where someone's agab would actually matter

Other than that, they're just a new exclusionary binary box that people are shoving us into

[bellysoupset]

hi again!!

okay first off i LOVED Bella and Luke’s impromptu wedding AHHHH they’re so so adorable😭 also, i know i said sicily part 6 was WONDERFUL (all time fave fr) but i never commented on part 7 and OH MY GOODNESS i had to take breaks from reading bc of how hard i was blushing at vin teasing wen 🤭 she was so real for every single one of her reactions omg

on that note OMG so excited for that food poisoning fic I CANT WAIT TO READ IT <3 and i love that it’s gonna be angsty and touch on her body dysmorphia ahhhh 😭🫶🏽

ALSO i’ve been meaning to ask this because i feel like you haven’t talked about it much? (or maybe i missed it? if so im so sorry lol) but basically, i know you said that wendy’s parents were NOT happy with her coming out, but that they eventually sort of “allowed” her to transition bc her mental health got bad. i clearly love angst (all your angsty fics are TOP TIER🤭), so i really wanna know more about her mental health struggles. is that something you’d dive into in an ask, or would you maybe incorporate it and/or hint at it in fics? i would genuinely LOOOOOVE to learn more about this!!!

ANYWAYS again YOU’RE AWESOME & IM OBSESSED WITH YOUR OCs‼️

- 🦦

Hi 🦦!!

What a wall of love, my heart is bursting out of my chest 😭 And Sicily 6 being your all time fave of all 102 fics of mine, this is HIGH PRAISE!!

Wendy whenever Vin brings up tummyaches is like Error 404, I feel her in my bones. If a hot guy did that to me I think I might just have a stroke and die.

I haven't actually covered any of Wendy's mental health issues in my fics! I had planned on doing one in NY with Vin & Wendy, but I keep putting it off bc I know I'll have to tap on some sensitive topics that require research on my part and I'm lazy.

Here's some things I think on Wendy's case. She's always been a chubby girl, but before her transition this bothered her a lot. It added to the already installed feelings of something being off with her and even when she managed to put things together, but was not allowed to transition physically this made her life hell. It was a toss up between gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia.

She got a pretty bad eating disorder back then (which btw, never made her thin, only fucked up her health) and she s*lf-h4armed, up until her parents found out about this, alongside some pretty concerning journals with su1cide ideation and they "caved".

Simply put her parents are jerks, but they're not evil and in hindsight they do know it was the right thing to do, they're just... Well, jerks who refused to own up the fact they were wrong and certain things are still very wrong.

I think it's important to highlight Wendy and Leo are very different in this aspect, even if both of them have had suic1dal thoughts and struggled with their queer identities. Wendy is not chronically depressed, she hit a rough patch and she has since healed up. She's in a great place right now and, yes, she's got insecurities and fears, but she's not medicated and doesn't need to be.

Leo's depression is chronical and he's medicated and will always be so. Without his meds he will struggle with su1cidal thoughts and erratic behavior regardless of how happy he is with his life at the moment.

Wendy's trigger make her cry, at most they make her sad for a week. Leo's triggers cause severe panic attacks.

#myocs #wendy marshall #leo wagner #i know i made it a bit about leo at the end but i think its an important distinction (health professional in me jumping out) #also i dont think any of those words should ever be censored i'm just doing that bc I dont wanna risk tumblr labeling this mature or smth #hate this website #🦦 anon #lovely correspondence

[curieklei]

hiii so english isn't my first language and i'm learning more about gender and trans stuff and if i might be trans or something (i've been told i sound agender?? but that feels wrong), and something that confuses me, so i'm asking around abt it… "woman" used to simply denote afab, right? like a body type of ppl with a biological (not surgical) vagina & estrogen puberty. like a female dog. ppl say that it reduces women to their genitals, but what about with other animals? like female cat, female horse, etc, just bc we say "oh she's a girl" or "oh i have a male dog" doesn't mean we're saying they're only their genitals in that case, right…? a bitch is just a female dog, that's why it's a misogynistic word. misogyny is based on how ppl see someone without a penis as lesser, bc they don't have the power to forcibly penetrate and feel genital pleasure for it, they can't impregnate, they're "just a hole" etc. like so much of misogyny is just body-specific. the misogyny transfems experience seems terrible but also conditional? bc if they're found out to be amab they're treated as creepy men, so they then stop experiencing misogyny, they just face usually homophobia. meanwhile bio women (and transmascs who don't transition) have no exit door to the misogyny unless they transition and pass perfectly as male or something, and historically that wasn't an option. to me man & woman have always been neutral body types until i came across trans stuff, and i think the idea of gendered brains sounds sexist af. like gender seems like bullshit, i see me being a woman as just like being a female cat, i don't have ~womanly~ vibes in my brain, i was just born female and that's the least important thing about me, but male society made it weird. why should gender continue to be a thing? what does gender actually mean, if sexism was to be eradicated? is it bad if i view my womanhood as just a body type? most cis people i've talked to view their "gender" like this, as just a body type, like any other animal. they don't "feel" like one, they just have the body and aren't dysphoric about it. they might not always like it, but they don't have dysphoria about it, so they just… are. is that transphobic? i've heard mixed thoughts about it from trans ppl & activists, i'm just curious. feel free to ignore this lol ;;

Edit: A person in the replies has informed me that those may be are terf talking points disguised as questions to avoid suspicion so take this anon with a grain of salt. I'm keeping this post just in case anon is genuinely curious or something.

From what I see, reducing the societal importance of biological sex is indeed what's slowly happening, but it's definitely not in the same stage everywhere. It takes years for a person to unlearn something they were told their whole life, it takes generations for biological sex to lose importance.

I'll go over your questions:

Why should gender continue to be a thing?

I think you meant biological sex here. It's important to keep a little bit of it for medical purposes. Also imo it's possible for a culture to give it importance without ending up with a system that makes people feel awful sometimes.

What does gender actually mean, if sexism is to be eradicated?

I guess it'll just be a trait of a person in a similar way skin color is a trait of someone's body but like, with way more dimensions. It's kinda hard to put rules around this. Maybe it's just an answer to the question "What am I?".

Is it bad I view my womanhood as just a body type?

Lol do what you want it's your womanhood, your body and your you. There's nothing bad here and you're free to decide for yourself.

Is [not feeling much gender about your body] transphobic?

Doesn't feel transphobic to me, but anyone reading this is free to give their own take on this and the rest of what you said.

Idk what else to say so thanks for the ask and have a safe self discovery journey! Feel free to dm me or send another ask if you want to talk or me to add something to this.

#curieasks #curietalks #gender #discussion #biological sex #trans #sexism #long post

[fishtail-tavra]

it’d be funny if Gelfling gender was just “Wings = woman, Wingless = man” purely for the chaos of

skeksis not getting how this works

(not helped by Gelflings almost always wearing cloaks)

skeksis getting frustrated at being corrected every other word bc they addressed someone wrong again

(apparently it's rude to ask if someone has wings)

emperor skek’So having to ban throwing Gelflings out of windows just to check what gender they are (winged or traumatized)

skek’So making new laws to make sure only women get important positions partly to control Gelfling society but also partly in the hopes this will Simplify Things

skek’So messing this up when he promotes a Gelfling for her leadership during the Arathim wars and makes her captain of the castle guard only to be told afterwards that Ordon is in fact a MAN

skeksis giving up and defaulting to calling all Gelflings “Gelfling” because gender is stupid

different clans having stricter or laxer ideas of what makes someone a woman or a man depending mainly on how close that clan’s social ties to the Skeksis are

re: Stonewood, Spriton, and Vapra being very No Wings No Woman and No Woman No Leading while

the Sifa let men be captains and love mixed up things including genders

the Dousan keep to older traditions including allowing men to be Sand Masters

the Grotten left Ha’rar partly because of the silly new rules the Skeksis were pushing there, including wing stuff

and the Drenchen have medical transitions thanks to the healing vliyaya of their Maudra’s family  

Gelflings calling the skeksis “Lords” instead of “Ladies”, even though in their culture it’s the ladies that usually do the leading, just because the skeksis don’t have wings

Gelflings calling Aughra “Mother” even though she doesn’t have wings because even though they don’t remember how important she used to be to them the tradition of referring to her with the most respectful way they have still lives on.

Gelflings assuming Podlings are all men or eternally children

Podlings having fun with this by sometimes pretending to pull a newborn baby out of a pod while a Gelfling watches and goes ‘OAO` ????

Jen and Kira’s exchange of “Wings! I don’t have wings? :C” – “Of course not. You’re a boy XD” getting extra silly bc

poor “raised-by-mystics” Jen doesn’t know how Gelfling gender works and

Kira “remembers-her-mom-and-was-raised-by-podlings-who-understood-gelflings-gender-perfectly-fine-even-if-gelflings-wouldn’t-return-the-favor” thinks Gelfling gender is so obvious she doesn’t explain that “no wings = boy”, instead of the “boy = no wings” that Jen probably understood it as

Jen getting very confused when some of their kids start growing wings like ??? if they can grow wings... can I grow wings? OuO

Kira repeatedly having to save Jen from jumping off tall things

everyone watching the two saviors of Thra go crashing into the trees again bc one of them is sure if he falls enough times he will someday Fly

and the other literally died and got better so this doesn't even seem that far out to her and she completely supports her partner in Jumping Off All The Things

speaking of being supportive

Onica is still called a woman even after losing her wings (supposed indicator of womanhood) because she is either dealing with

her own clan (who don’t care)

other people from other non-conforming clans (the Grotten and Drenchen)

Kylan (who is a sweet heart)

or Tavra (her loving wife who cares more about people than any laws or tradition that might hurt them so much she died for it [and then also got better])

BONUS:

it would also mean Amri The Ally dressed in Gelfling drag to help a lesbian save her wife

and he rode off into the sunset with Naia, possible medically transitioned winged Gelfling who is now literal queen of her swamp people

#the dark crystal #tdc:aor #skeksis #gelfling #gelfling gender mayhem #kira #jen #naia #amri #tavra #onica #they're aliens harold why would they have earth genders

[uncanny-tranny]

I’m sorry I’m new to the lgbtq community and I’m just wondering what’s the difference between transgender, transsexual, and transvestite? Sorry if this is a dumb question or seems offensive in any way. Im just genuinely curious.

That's fine, I don't think people genuinely expect newcomers to have a dictionary implanted in your brain on all the terms, we've all got to learn it somewhere

I do want to preface this by saying that these are general descriptions and by no means are universal. Each person has their own relationships with these words, and that will impact which ones they will use. This is important to remember, I think, because it offers more compassion and understanding toward others.

Transgender: This is the newest term of the three, and rose in popularity as a response to people's need to describe themself with a word that was more neutral. Transgender people are very varied in trans identity and transition status and gender identity. It's a wide umbrella

Transsexual: Historically used for trans people who are medically transitioning (e.g. hormones, surgery). There was a heavy emphasis on the medicalization of transness, especially for dysphoria. This is why the need arose for the term transgender because not every trans person pursues medical transition, or only goes so far with it (e.g. only going on hormones and not undertaking surgery). In recent years, people have rediscovered transsexual, and honestly, I have seen a ton of different people use this word. Some transsexuals will medically transition, some will not, some have dysphoria, and still, some don't. Transsexuals are so varied- just like transgender people. Transsexual doesn't necessarily denote one's sexuality - it typically denotes that one's sex is changing. It can be confusing at first, but transsexual isn't necessarily saying anything about one's sexuality.

Transvestite: Historically used to denote cross-dressing and/or a trans identity. Before the words "transsexual" and "transgender," many people we might recognize as transgender/transsexual would have been called a transvestite. In some contexts, this word is derogatory, as it has been used to diagnose mental conditions. However, there are people today who self-identify as transvestites - this may be because they are just a cross-dresser or because they are gender diverse. Magnus Hirschfeld is to thank for this term, and it helped put the foot in the door for trans and gender diverse advocacy.

Transsexual and transvestite are considered outdated by many, but I do not think they are inherently bad. They had their place when they were popularized and coined, and they helped give language to our gender diverse predecessors. So many gender diverse people use different language to describe themselves, and I believe that we need to give each other that space. I am a transsexual, for example, and I believe we need to give each other the space to use language that describes them.

#ask #trans #transgender #transsexual #transvestite #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #hopefully this addresses everything and it's understandable #i'm never going to rag on y'all for asking questions. that is completely natural <3

[hjellacott]

I used to say "Trans Women are Women" until my friend Dani transitioned

I'd say it all the time, I'd put it all over my Tumblr, I'd argue people about it. But I was in my late teens and I didn't know any better. I thought I was doing the right thing. And then my friend Dani who's a bit older than me and with whom I'd been close friends since I was like 15-16, and always known as a black man, told me they were actually a trans women and that they'd begun to transition. I was so stunned because I'd always thought they were a very confident gay man. And then I started having all these long chats with Dani about what being trans meant and what changed for them, what their next steps would be, what their hopes for the future were (specially because back then Dani had been planning their wedding to a gay man) and I credit Dani for most of my learning. Yeah sure I do my own research later and go to medical research essays and speak to detrans people and all that, but Dani's the one that made the greatest impact.

Firstly, Dani's the one who said to me "don't say Trans Women are Women, because you make it look like you and I are the same, which isn't true. Calling me a woman would erase the unique struggles I've gone through as a Trans Woman, struggles you don't have to go through, like hormones or surgery or figuring out how to tell my gay fiancé I'm a woman. And it also makes me look like I know what your experience growing up as a woman has been like, like when you first had your period or experienced hormonal changes, and I don't, like, remember when we were in school and you girls' periods got synchronised and you were all a bloody nightmare? I'm never going to understand that".

I never forgot Dani's words, because they destroyed all my preconceived ideas about being trans in one single blow. Later, Dani would end up having to break up with his fiancé, which was heartbreaking but also deeply inspiring, because Dani did so with so much love. When I asked what had happened (I live abroad so we have long catch-up sessions when I visit and then I make all the questions) Dani explained that they knew their fiancé fell in love with a gay man, with someone he wasn't, someone who wasn't their real self, so they understood if their fiancé suddenly didn't know who they were any more and didn't want to marry them, but an actual gay man. I thought, fucking hell, that's being grown-up. I mean yeah they're older than me so I expect more mature statements, but I was completely stunned. I thought Dani was really brave, and I still do.

There's been a lot of learning since, and as friends, a lot of it has been done together. I was there for comfort when Dani realised they'd have to learn to live with their penis, because the surgery to remove it didn't have good enough chances of leaving them in a way that sex would still be enjoyable (and Dani's like Barney Stinson, they love sex very much so this was important). And they've been there to continue to teach me and continue to inspire me.

So when people insult me or call me transphobic or whatever bullshit... the reason it doesn't get me down is Dani. Because I think, hell, Dani's brave. Dani's strong. Dani's guided trans children to figure it out, Dani's spoken in schools, Dani's stood up against men dressing as women without even being trans (sex fetish). Dani grew up fighting homophobia, came out to their parents as gay and trans, and now has to fight misinformation and protect vulnerable trans youths, because that's who they are. So surely I can take a bit of bullying to help people like Dani in their fight. It's not a big deal. I might be miles away and maybe we only meet face to face twice a year but Dani's one hell of a friend and I just wanted to say it.

#transphobia #trans women #women #trans women are not women #trans women are trans women

[ceilidhtransing]

Something I really don't like in the social dynamics between trans and cis people is what I'm going to call “Don't Worry, Local Tran Can Reassure You Your Beliefs Are Fine And You're A Good Person”.

(And I'm very sure this dynamic also absolutely exists in other minority/majority situations - POC/white, disabled/abled, etc - but my specific experience is as a trans person so that's what I'm talking about.)

There's this weird thing some cis people do when they know you're trans, which is veer conversations into issues of trans rights or gender more broadly (and the lack of understanding from some cis people that trans people likely do not want to be randomly dragged into conversations about how people hate us and are trying to make our lives worse is a whole other can of worms) so they can state a view they hold and then look to the trans person for reassurance that yes this view is in fact good and fine and reasonable. (Even when it isn't.) (In fact, especially when it isn't.)

It's often phrased broadly in terms of “basically agreeing with trans rights” but thinking that some aspects of trans liberation (gender-neutral bathrooms, informed-consent access to hormones, calling people whatever they ask to be called, etc) or indeed something that isn't even really happening at all (think 'transitioning children' or 'forcing people to be attracted to trans people') is “going too far”, and that surely real trans people - subtext: “not those crazy activist freaks” - agree.

“I mean I'm basically all for trans rights but like if someone clearly looks like a man and isn't putting a lot of effort in I don't really think I should have to call them a woman, right?”

“I'm not transphobic or anything but I just don't get the point of gender-neutral bathrooms? And what if I was peeing and someone who doesn't belong there came in?”

“It's not like I'm against trans people but surely we need some kind of control over the medical stuff - like what if someone does something they regret? Or what about kids?”

And then they look at you with the clear social expectation that you will play along and totally agree with them and reassure them that they're A Good Cis and that they don't have to do any work at all to change their beliefs.

But what I think a lot of people don't get here is that in situations like this a huge amount of pressure is exerted on the trans person to agree - not only because most people are pretty conflict-avoidant and don't like having to say “no, actually, you're wrong about that”, but also because there is an existing stereotype of “the crazy angry easily-offended SJW freak who always takes things too far”, and we know that openly disagreeing, sticking up for our rights and dignity, and explaining why the person is wrong is likely to get us seen as exactly that stereotype.

Plus, they're not genuinely looking to see whether you agree or disagree; they're just using you in a very “I have a trans friend”-type way to reassure them that their views are fine. Exceptions do of course exist but people seriously looking to be educated tend to ask questions in an attempt to actually learn what the trans person thinks (“why are gender-neutral bathrooms important?”), rather than state a position and then beckon the trans person to agree with them.

This kind of thing is one of the casual conversational ways in which trans people are strongly encouraged to betray their community (and their own personal dignity) in order to be seen by cis people as “one of the good ones”.

“You know, Jack isn't like most trans people; you can actually have a conversation with him and he doesn't get offended by everything” - and their idea of “having a conversation” is just them repeatedly stating casually transphobic talking points while Jack feels awkwardly obliged to agree so as not to make a scene

I guess I don't have a grand thesis statement to make here other than “this is a pattern that happens” and “if you're a cis person who does this please recognise the social forces at play and stop”. The problem here isn't the socially-vulnerable trans people who respond to these deeply awkward and highly pressured situations with “mmm” and “yeah”; it's the cis people who, however unknowingly, put us in these situations in the first place.

If you're going to engage trans people on the topic of trans rights (or indeed engage any minority you don't belong to on the topic of their rights) maybe think about doing more listening than talking, and not treating the whole conversation as just a way for you to be reassured that you're already right about everything.

#transgender #trans #trans rights #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #queer #queer rights #lgbt rights #transphobia #my posts

[mommy-issues-haver]

if you weren't "born this way"...

then don't try and become it. truly. how many straight and bisexual women have fallen in love with men and wished that they didn't? i think we can see from this current discourse (excuse my language) that the answer is a lot. you're not a lesbian, that's ok. don’t try to be one “for the cause.”

aaaaaand that's where queer theorists come in to suggest you can, in fact, change your sexuality and gender identity throughout your life and even "choose lesbianism" (i will grant this remark by dean spade was somewhat facetious but it’s also just ridiculous and offensive. and i guess spade didn’t really choose lesbianism because they transitioned). this is not even an argument about whether or not you can transition or change sex -- that argument has been settled in the academic world for some time, so they have found a new entirely confounding concept to argue over: that the only thing that defines your identity is how you, the individual, feel in the moment, and that this means that trans medical "care" should be accessible for everyone, regardless of why or how long they've "felt trans."

here is a quote from Marie Draz's piece on why she believes the born this way narrative is "biologically determinist and ahistorical":

When Spade mocked [the born this way] narrative...a therapist told Spade that he was “really intellectualizing this” and that they needed to get to the “root” or the origin of why Spade felt that he needed chest reconstruction surgery. A therapist asked, “How long have you felt this way?” In response, Spade asked, “Does realness reside in the length of time a desire exists?”

first of all, how incredibly condescending and pompous of Spade to suggest that this metaphysical, academic, theoretical understanding of gender is more important than the gender therapist's clinically informed understanding. second, time DOES matter when it comes to elective cosmetic surgery that only has the potential to cause harm to your body.

my point here is to question why the born this way narrative is receiving this backlash in academia today. and I actually think there are a couple of reasons. first, academia is about the constant outflow of new work and new concepts. the world that queer theorists have constructed is not the real world. (which is funny, and you'd think they might get that of all people.) because the work builds upon itself, this rejection of the once-ubiquitous born this way narrative seems to be a natural continuation of trans theory and the mind/body dichotomy that has been reconstructed by queer theorists. the constant reach toward euphoria is ultimately something very religious in nature and not something that can be rooted in observable physical reality as homosexuality is. at any time one can "see the light" and become a convert, lured in by promises of euphoria and the satisfaction of a deep, internal longing that you didn't even know you had. to the true believers, this is a beautiful idea, and why wouldn't they want to share it?

the other reason i believe that they are now rejecting this narrative is that it is necessary to undermine the concept of biologically driven homosexuality because it doesn't fit in the narrative of sexuality tied to gender as something fluid and mutable as opposed to sex/genitalia. if someone is gay by nature, then they are attracted to same-sex genitalia and not the culturally created construct of one's gender. therefore being homosexual is not only a null category, but one that undermines the entire basis of present-day queer theory.

i just want to finish by saying it's truly laughable that through thousands of pages of dense, convoluted academic writing, queer theorists have returned to a mirror image of the conservative understanding of identity. i think that's just the result of faith-based ideology.

#radblr #radfem #radical feminist safe #radical feminist community #radical feminists please interact #radical feminism #radical feminists do touch #radical feminists please touch #radical feminst #lesbian radfems

[asexual-means-no-attraction]

Hey just curious but is there any point in trying to go on T after a certain age? I'm almost 30 and still haven't been able to see someone for a diagnosis and start medically transitioning and I've been told that if I haven't gone on T by 23 then it's too late for me but since you're a guy who's had to go through that process I wanted to ask if you know anything about that and how legit the claim is?

Don't get me wrong, transitioning later in life does come with its own unique challenges. One of the big one being the social issues that come up. By the time your 30 you might have a more stable job, kids, a spouse, etc. Coming out by itself can be difficult by itself let alone trying to explain to your straight husband that you're also a man. Depending on where you work you might risk your job. Most support groups seem to focus on young adults, and said young adults can be very mean to older folk (and vise versa).

That said, 30 isn't old. It's not. I know we all like to think it is, and as someone who's not there yet it still feels like some far off number. But 30 really isn't that old, and it's certainly not too old to medically transition. I think there's more health risks when you start later (this is a guess, I have no evidence to back this up). But that reasoning being because you are more at risk for certain health conditions in general as you age. Plus the specific risks hrt can bring. But none of those risks would be any different than the risks as someone who starts hrt at 20 once they get close to 30 or 40. So it's really a mute point.

It can also be a little more frustrating since hrt is basically like puberty. Imagine being a teenage boy but at the age of 35. It's a little awkward. But that phase doesn't late that long, and you'll have the rest of your life (a good 40 years if you live to 75) to enjoy being who you truly are. I'd say that's worth it.

Transitioning later in life has it's challenges. But so does everything in life. It's never too late to transition. I've seen transmen transition after 30 and be just fine. I've seen trans women transition at 60. You can do it at any age. Your journey is yours alone. Whether you discover yourself at 20, 30, or even 60 that's ok. You always have time take steps into being your real self. Into becoming more comfortable as yourself. Into doing what'll make you happy. Don't worry. You can do it.

I think a lot of the misconception comes from the fact that most stories we see are of younger adults. And we consider that age range to be a traditional period regardless of gender (it's when you're supposed to figure yourself out). But you can discover yourself at any age. My dad is 50 and only says that he's only now feels like he's figuring out what kind of person he wants to be. My gf's mom is going on a hippie road trip around the USA in her minivan at 50. My grandmother at 65 is only now getting a chance to learn about herself after being stuck in an abusive marriage. My 80 year old grandmother tells me about new things she's figured out every other month. You have so many more years ahead of you. 20 isn't nearly as impactful of a time for self discovery as we like to claim. It's important don't get me wrong. But I've seen more impactful self discovery journeys from people over 40 than anything I've seen from people in their 20s. You got time. It's never too late.

#answered #ask #not discourse #advice #transgender advice