#not me being conscious of posting

[muwitch]

teth's pre-tadpole "looks";

Technically Teth is kind of ascetic when it comes to cloth. Mostly fond of simple fabrics or something that drapes over the body nicely, not limiting motion.

"Ritual" gear however is most fancy of possessed clothing items, bc let's face it, you've to look like you're leading something if you're head of Temple, even it means absconding underwear. Practical when you're getting some necrophilia in your business schedule too.

I love the cape Sceleritas gives us, it had to go somewhere. As the storm sorcerer's elements.

Also bc bhaalspawn's whole body is a weapon; you can be ass naked as wee baby and still wrangle life out of someone's body. It's a philosophy. Also reason for less restraining clothes "at home".

Out of home though: conceal don't feel, don't let it show. Also black goes well with being in the shadows. Don't touch the mask though.

Could be a bit of gender mystery when geared up right and talking in hushed voice, but there aren't too many curves there, don't be fooled.

Loves hoods send help.

Undercut my beloved, was lost in the sause of lobotomy.

#bg3 durge #bg3 spoilers #bg3 dark urge #dark urge #durge #mu draws #i am too bad with armor and graphic design is my passion #but ok i needed refs for future so here we go #she and orin can go bhaalin #teth the black #dress skimpy to suppress trauma squad #if this is giving you sith vibes then my job here is done #not me being conscious of posting #one tadpole later looks certainly coming at some point

[talaricula]

Things I've seen tumblr memeing about James Somerton doing à la "How did no one see how bigoted he was!" as if those things haven't been a significant part of tumblr culture for over a decade :

Presenting untrue and bordering on conspiratorial versions of (queer or otherwise marginalised) history without any sources

Completely disregarding and disrespecting any expertise on socio-cultural topics/humanities and distrusting academics and historians (incl. acting as if no academics or historians could be queer or marginalised)

Downplaying the role misogyny played in the historical oppression of queer women and concluding that queer men must have been more oppressed than queer women

Bi women are, at best, not as queer as "real" queer ppl, and at worst, simply equivalent to straight women

Despite nominal trans inclusivity, transmasculine ppl are functionally women when convenient (combined with the above, bi transmascs are functionally straight women)

Despite nominal trans inclusivity (bis), shamelessly attacking, threatening and actively endangering any trans woman who questions them or smth they find important (often by unfairly presenting her as violent or as a threat)

Having absolutely fucking wild and reductive takes about ace ppl, the oppression they face and their place in the queer community

Stating that marriage equality is an assimilationist fight while completely ignoring its direct roots in the horrifying consequences of the AIDS crisis for partners of ppl who died of AIDS

Praising western media creators from the past for queer coding even under censure and in the same breath condemning current non western media creators for being homophobic bc their representation isn't explicit enough

Blaming China for all existing homophobic censoring in western media

Assuming all queer media would be better told by western creators and by western standards

Only out queer ppl get to tell queer stories

Heavily criticising almost all queer media created by women or ppl they see as such (see above points about trans ppl) or involving/starring a significant amount of women for any perceived or real amount of "problematicness", but fawning over and praising and negating criticism of queer media created by and starring mostly or even functionally exclusively men (even when it could be argued that, you know, not involving/seriously sidelining women is a pretty clear example of misogyny which should probably be considered "problematic")

And I'm probably forgetting stuff or there's stuff I have internalised myself and don't recognise as an issue

Like idk but I feel like the takeaway from Hbomberguy and Toddintheshadow's videos should maybe be "be aware of such patterns in your communities bc they definitely exist" and not "this guy is uniquely awful" and I feel like a lot of the discussion I've seen surrounding this has been severely failing at that. Most ppl who've spent any significant amount of time on tumblr prob either have internalised at least one of those thought patterns, have had to de-internalise them, or have had to be extremely vigilant to not internalise them (which is done by, you know, seeking out other sources, which also seemed like an important takeaway from the videos)

#Also I'm saying this as someone who actually watched quite a few of Somerton's videos #And noticed those patterns and stopped watching bc I recognised them from here #and had already learned to unlearn them after being so exposed to them here #And tbh I think anyone who hasn't had the luck or made the conscious choice to seek out ppl who pushed against those narratives #Would absolutely have fallen for this man's bullshit. Like let's not kid ourselves we see takes like this every day on this hellsite #2014 me would have. For sure. #This is next to the plagiarism issue which as Harris points out is an Internet wide issue and this includes tumblr #James Somerton #hbomberguy #todd in the shadows #This brought to you by a conversation with my wife yesterday #So many ppl on here don't deserve to meme or be this self absolvingly critical of this man #The call is coming from inside the house #The man has a tumblr it would legit not surprise me if some of the things he supposedly made up himself he did actually get from somewhere #And that somewhere was a tumblr post

[wickedhawtwexler]

me when other people tag me in things: this person??? thought about me???? i'm so flattered??????? 🥺💕🥺💕🥺💕🥺💕

me when i consider tagging someone in a post: i am annoying!!!! i am overstepping every single boundary!!!! i am making an absolute fool out of myself!!!!!!

#i'm making a post for my ~*~ 2k follower celebration ~*~ #and idk the thought of tagging mutuals in it makes me so self conscious!!!! #even though i love being tagged in other people's follower celebrations!!!! #my brain is so stupid like babe this is tumblr dot com let's not overthink this #m.txt

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

people practice w Them <3

#posting this and then shoving my head into a hole Bye #i am! Not Confident!!! in my people scribbling abilities!! #but im trying!!! im fucking trying!!! #i already see improvement #not enough to make me go 'wee the masses are gonna love this' #but enough that i can fathom posting. i can handle it. i can do this #if i dont do it now then i never will!!!! #im still gonna scream into a pillow rip it apart and then eat the stuffing!!!! #ah... the mortification of Existing... of Being Perceived... #it is ever present and inescapable! youd thing id be used to it by now!!! #ill be on my death bed asking people to leave the room so that i can die w/o feeling horribly self conscious and Seen #no seriously every time i think about my potential death and or coma should that happen #i prematurely cringe at the Attention. people potentially crying at my bedside Eugh No Thank You Please Do That Elsewhere #either call me a loser and drop off a single flower or leave me be <3 #THIS IS A WELCOME HOME SCRIBBLE POST. IM SORRY I FORGOT #scribble garnish #uh um uh so uh wally and barnaby am i rite fellas- #in my mind they're picking up takeout for dinner <3 #yeah no im not tagging it with a fandom tag. i dont want to be perceived As We've Established #im somewhat satisfied with that first wally.... swag <3 #& do i have major gender envy for barnaby? yeah #im not used to drawing people but i should be... i need to be... #THERE ARE GUYS I WANNA DRAW! mine and others!!! ngl mostly mine!!!

[graveyardcuddles]

As embarrassing as it is to admit, Astarion's pick up lines would work on me but only because I have zero experience being flirted with and he's literally so gorgeous I wouldn't even be able to pay attention to half of what he's saying.

He'd be giving his whole goofy ass cringey "our collective ecstasy" bs and I'd just be hearing white noise in my head from my brain short-circuiting.

#my ass would've been in cazador's cellar so fucking easily it's actually sad lmao #def not making this post bc im sitting here wishing someone could make me feel that desirable irl haha #that would be so silly #fr tho as someone who was never flirted with irl before like EVER it does make me feel a lil self conscious #when ppl are like “who would be dumb enough to fall for that??” umm... #someone w no experience w being flirted w i guess lol #its fine im fine

[ganondoodle]

some die hard totk fans can be so annoying

you can like a game without jumping through hoops to justify why its bad writing and questionable choices are good actually, its ok to like things that arent the bestest most perfect thing

you can have your opinion and thats all well and fine but im tired of some people taking my posts as ground to debate me on bc they are 'objectively' more right than me despite their opinion too being based on their own interpretation and bias

i love ww and botw but im not acting like either is perfect, tetra/zelda being whitewashed suddendly when shes revealed to be royalty? bad, very bad actually; ganondorf only having a few lines right before you kill him to hint at there perhaps being more in his head than EVIL EVIL I AM EVIL ARGAGRGAHGHS? disappointing; (and so on and so forth) botw locking zelda away to be rescued yet again in the castle? not the greatest thing but at least it worked with the story and themes better than it did in totk; botw having that orientalist gerudo outfit that to this day is used to sexualize whatever chaarcter is put into it? not cool (as far as i know totk did away with that one at least); the gerudo design as a whole still being on the same level of not cool in botw as they were in oot- you get the point

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #totk #ganondoodles rants #like how the hell does NPCs talking about zelda equate to her having agency in the story #also despite botw zelda being less present in a technical sense she still feels more THERE than totk zelda #like at least botw zelda is fucking conscious and can talk to you in the present even if not much #and her time fighting clamgan is time she remembers #unlike totk zelda I doNT rEmeMBEr aNyTHIng LöLÖS #i get wanting to share ones opinion #but i feel like theres a line between sharing ones opinion and doing debate me arguments on someone elses posts

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

i think the diamond dogs should play improv games just bc it would amuse me, an ex theater kid, specifically

#ted and beard ofc are reading each others minds #trent is shockingly good at it but only when he forgets to be self conscious #also see: he does both best and worst with ted (best when he's not being self conscious #worst when somehow the prompt gets too touchy or 'romantic' bc Crush Crush Crush Brain Panic) #(please the image of ted in character hugging him or something and trent just. red. brain crashed. no longer improving just frozen. barely #manages to recover and even then it was not subtle. unclear if ted is a) genuinely oblivious b) teasing him and thinks trent knows that #c) something else(??) ) #roy is too stiff most of the time but if he gets really into it he gets REALLY into it. #best way to get this result is to involve phoebe or another child #higgins did community theater at some point and is the one teaching them all the games. beard also seems to have done intense research #but higgins is the one with EXPERIENCE #not that i think beard and ted couldn't have done an improv duo in college or something but in this scenario they did not #nate surprisingly is pretty good at it once he gets into it like it takes him a second but #then he's like. really getting into it and he's very quick on his feet #new way to go mad with power (affectionate): the rush you get when you make the perfect snap back comedic line/acting choice #also while trent is so good paired with so many of them i think he and nate would be a hilarious duo. they're SO funny. #they complement each other well and are both quick & clever #esp if it's about a mutual interest (although one of them taking the lead on something else like nate and music while the other plays off t #em is also good) but like #please i just had the iamge of them basically doing a bit where they're like. those mean old gay muppets in the theater? #like trent and nate improv duoing as some bitchy reviewers just going back and forth and it's so FAST and SO funny #beard records it and posts it somewhere and it goes viral. #god don't even get me started on the idea of some sort of official richmond social media/the gang posting random clips on social media #bc the ideas i have are so funny. #also largely trent centric but what do you want from me okay i'm just a little slut.

[anothermonikan]

Ponee (It is half 3 in the morning)

#hey she didn't actually come out too bad! #I didn't show the last time I tried to draw Sunny but it didn't look great ehe ^^; #I think Ponies are gonna have to be a digital art only thing for now cause I had the select and drag so many elements of this #to make this look right sahsdhdshsdh #Yeah despite liking ponies since I've became a conscious thing I never drew them a bunch #and well. that's because I didn't start drawing properly until I was like. 11 years old. and I was super into something else then ehe ^^; #Sorry to get personal in the tags of an mlp art thing but I do think about how I always wanted to draw but like. #I was such a chronic perfectionist as a little little kid??? I HATED everything I tried to make XD #It makes me a little sad yknow? cause like. most kids don't give a shit they just draw whatever and it's beautiful and amazing #it makes me sad that I didn't allow myself to have that! I worked backwards IG lmao #little 6 year old hating everything she tried to make for not being perfect to me now where I love when my art is full of imperfections #that's the point of art!!! Have fun!!! It doesn't need to be perfect or even “good”! #because art is about expression yknow? and drawing stuff you like! #sorry this only took like an hour this should be on a more high-effort drawing sdhdhdshsd #Also um hi to the person who followed me for MLP G5 art?? I mostly post about puters and Ultrakill and Rain World here #But I do really love ponies I need to draw them more often XD #this is my whatever blog. I post whatever interests me here hehe #MLP #MLP G5 #Android Arts #Android.txt

[restingcorpse]

In a way it feels cruel that I was born with a brain

#i don't like understanding things sometimes #i hate overthinking #being conscious only brings me pain #me #mine #text post #text #very paranoid that everyone hates me rn #vent #i guess #personal #girlblogging #dark aesthetic #gore lover #<3

[kaeyapilled]

i read a fic once where diluc used to fight with a sword during his days as a knight and switched to a claymore only after That Day and the concept never left my head

#it makes more sense i guess? ofc there's knights w claymores but 1) if being cavalry captain includes fighting while mounted on a horse- #-then a sword is probably more fit for the job #and 2) diluc was a model knight child prodigy cavalry captain golden child. to me. and i think a sword fits that image better #i like to think that he maybe always took more easily to a claymore. his thing is more pure strength blunt force etc #and he had to make a conscious effort to learn to use a sword properly even if his abilities would translate better into a greatsword #but when he leaves for snezhnaya its like #hes not a knight anymore the perfect image he had of them is completely destroyed he doesnt even have his vision w him anymore #so like whats the point. pick up a claymore. it fits his vigilante revenge rampage era better #diluc thoughts on the mind 2day. sorry for breaking character #diluc #my posts #diluc ragnvindr

[namekiansauce]

TP!Link is the strongest link, you can't convince me otherwise

#artists on tumblr #drawing #not ai generated #legend of zelda #tears of the kingdom #twilight princess #totk fanart #totk link #tp link #fanart #im self conscious of my art after my like 5 year hiatus #like my style is the same but is it even something ppl will like? #im also posting on my tiktok but i usually post videos of my cat so the algorithm is gonna hate me #i changed rendering styles halfway through lol #dont focus on the lack of background or tp not being finished #ive been working on this too long to care about legs okay lol

[bumblingbabooshka]

Workforce B7 Au

B'Elanna and Seven start living together out of concern for B'Elanna living by herself so far along in her pregnancy (B'Elanna initially takes this as an insult, that Seven doesn't think she's a good mother because Seven does not phrase her concerns well but she is genuinely concerned about B'Elanna and her child.) They both mutually agree that if they find a romantic partner they'll just live separately again but as the months wear on they realize they've become more and more attatched to each other, their feelings taking a romantic turn which frightens them both. B'Elanna still goes to that diner place Tom works at and considers them friends. He eventually asks her out and B'Elanna, thinking that she's probably being a burden to Seven and confused by her feelings towards the other woman, accepts though she doesn't have romantic feelings for Tom. Seven is upset by this though she knows she shouldn't be so she tries not to express it but eventually they have an argument which ends in them both admitting that they like each other romantically. They hesitantly kiss, hold hands, ask if they want to really commit to this...yes. The answer is yes. Then strange men in a ship tell them they're members of an organization called Starfleet or whatever?? Then they're taken to sickbay and their old memories return. This leads to both of them having private freak outs about the fact that they felt so strongly attracted to each other and so...happy, with one another when all of the more complicating aspects of their relationship weren't an issue. This is a double edged sword for B'Elanna specifically because without all the history between them she truly didn't feel any attraction towards Tom and if she's being honest with herself - when was the last time she did...? Dun dun dun! You know this episode ends with B'Elanna staring out a window or something, wondering about what she should do...what it all means....

#B'Elanna #Seven of Nine #B7 #B'Elanna Torres #Seven of Nine: (trying to be helpful) -something condescending- #B'Elanna: ?????? #<- It's that on loop for awhile until they learn to communicate better and Seven actually DOES try to understand B'Elanna #She doesn't know about being borg so she just thinks she has a lot of trouble with talking to people and B'Elanna's like 'hey it's not like #I'm a whiz at it' (That's very clear to me.) Hey! Oh - you're joking? (...Half joking.) Well it wasn't half bad then~ #<- the start of their good times era where they become much closer #B'Elanna post this memory regain able to remember how nice it was to be with Seven which directly contrasts her relationship with Tom which #mainly makes her anxious and self conscious...remembering the long talks with Seven whenthey were supposed to be sleeping...remembering #Seven coming home with like ten different baby things because she read that they were the best on the market #B'Elanna 'joking' that she's just being crazy...typical her! when she's upset and Seven telling her that she isn't crazy - she #trusts that there's a REASON B'Elanna. Tell her what it is. (pause) please tell her what it is. #a month later B'Elanna 'jokes' that she's just being crazy...typical her! to Tom and Tom smiles and says he kinda signed up for crazy when #they got married didn't he? <- B'Elanna's heart breaks a little bit but she smiles thinly and laughs without vigor #st voyager #st voyager art #bea art tag

[suudonym]

what if I used this site as an actual blogging platform instead of only posting when I've drawn something that I think someone might think is neat

#I only posted about ososan for so long that now I'm super conscious of being annoying to the people who followed me for ososan #even though this is the ''I have a new hyperfixation and I'm gonna make it everyone's problem'' website #but I have so many dumb thoughts about mairuma I need to exorcise from my head.... #saydonym

[kitnita]

@moregraceful 'bryce shot him a text this morning' 'i see bryce harper got ahold of him' is this not basically where your head was at just Sooner

#some people just don't have time to wait for baseball season #looking through replies & quote tweets on twitter is morbidly a favorite pastime of mine because i never learn. but sometimes there's gems. #hockey #baseball #i cannot in good conscious tag either of these players names in a post that would end up in tags #maybe in like a month when it'll be buried bc otherwise not being able to find it via their names will haunt me

[suddencolds]

i've def heard of people having to be in the right headspace to write like, v thirsty/self-indulgent snz content, but somehow i find it equally difficult to be in the right headspace to write angst

#snz thirst is more predictable bc it's just #letting my d pilot the plane instead of my head and blinking down to see that i've written 2 thousand words #angst is not like a snz-specific device so you'd think it'd be easier to utilize #but specifically in the context of h/c it feels like #close to the same level of self-indulgent for me... only i feel so much more self-conscious when i'm writing it. i think it's also because #i feel like people more easily excuse gratuitous snz as like 'omg the author really went for it 🥵 this is hot' whereas for angst the #equivalent of 'overdoing it' or being too indulgent is like... okay this is ooc. these characters are not arguing in a way that feels #believable. it feels like they are being flattened or misconstrued just for the sake of the angst 🙁 #what i'm trying to say is #being perceived as overindulgent in the angst sense scares me so much more than being perceived as overindulgent in the snz sense #when i get really into writing angst i'm like >:) omg i live for dramatic tension and misunderstandings. please argue MORE #but when i get to editing it i'm like 😰😰 what was i thinking. would they really say that... would they really cry here... #which feels terrifying in a different way - the not-knowing if what i've been writing will be received as i intend it or if it'll be seen #as too emotionally trite / unbelievable #does that make sense... i am operating on 4h of sleep right now which is probably #why this post exists haha. but anyways

[disasterhimbo]

Being marginalized, especially in multiple ways, is just learning most people don’t give a shit about your happiness, health, or safety. It hurts the worst imo when even people in one marginalized group you’re a part of don’t give a shit about you bc you’re part of another marginalized group they don’t care about. And they’re not even honest about it, they pretend to care, and they think they’re good people as they’re hurting you.

#I’m just disappointed in most people at this point honestly #but it’s getting so hard to act normal around most people even for brief interactions #just got a haircut and the hairdresser refused to wear the N95 I brought in favor of a surgical mask and said she knows she’s not sick #and then give me bullshit health advice like that sunlight before noon is really healing and something about negative air when it rains #and then say how excited she was to see Dave Chapelle live #and she knows I’m trans and I’m sure she thinks of herself as an ally #this also goes for all the queer people who aren’t covid-conscious #and all the covid-conscious people who aren’t for disability justice #and racism in the queer community and pretty much any intersection of marginalized identities #I just don’t understand how people can care about one marginalized group and be completely disconnected from the others? #not being intersectional feels like it almost defeats the point #my post #original post #personal #a secret third kind of post #leftism #intersectional leftism #marginalized people #marginalized groups #socialism #communism #anarchism #anarchy