#or lack there of

[forphysicsandimagination]

I keep thinking about two lines from two pieces of media I like. They’re said in different tones and in way different contexts, but they fit together for me so strongly:

“But I’m not a girl. I’m a shark!” - Nimona from the movie “Nimona”

“It would make it harder for me to pretend not to be a person.” - Murderbot from “Artificial Condition”

Nimona is a shapeshifter. She can turn into anything she wants and she does it instinctively, effortlessly. She claims over and over that she’s not a girl or a boy or anything for long. She’s Nimona. And that’s what she says when people ask what she is. I desperately want that freedom. That fluidity of my body. The ability to look however I want and change it save for one or two key features.

Murderbot is a construct comprised of robotic parts and artificially grown tissue. It’s sexless and genderless and has expressed distain at being forced into human categories regarding either of those things. It’s severely autistic coded and thinks humans are dumb and it doesn’t *want* to be a person. Not in the way humans want to. It hates being perceived more than anything. I don’t want people to look at me or notice my existence. I don’t want to be a person either. I want to be a masked construct, just out of the perception of others and not really thought of as a being.

I’m going through some sort of identity and gender crisis and I’m not sure if I’m a girl. And all I can think of are these two characters who emphatically don’t want to be what people say they are and think they are. I want to be like them. And it’s confusing because there are feminine things I love and I’ve been a girl for so long that I don’t really know anything else. And I’m a scientist; I need data to compare to and I have nothing. I just keep going back to these two characters, wishing I was either of them. Not really a girl. Not a boy either. Just me, whoever the hell that is.

#gender #murderbot #nimoma #identity confusion #personhood #or lack there of #if anybody has any insight #please share #this is scary

[hamletteprinceofdenmark]

There are no bees in Snowchester - a c!Tubbo poem

Full text under the cut

There are no bees in Snowchester

There are no bees in Snowchester,                            

They cannot settle there.                                               

Their wings would freeze,                                             

Their children starve,                                                       

Their Queen die to despair.       

                      The rabbits bound across the fields,                          

The bears, snow white, roar fiercely,                          

But there are no bees in Snowchester.                      

They hold their lives too dearly.   

                                You can grow a flower for them,                                 

but it will not draw them near.                                      

Blue orchids, tulips, alliums,                            

will droop, undrunk, round here.     

                                         For snow is not a growing thing,                                  

it holds the ground in stasis.                                          

It stretches over hills and homes,                                

and far expanding bases.      

The bees come not to Snowchester,                                      

They’re too happy where they are!

Their hives and wives and families,                            

Their flowers and their blooming trees,                    

Their wide green fields of nectar sweet,                   

Keep them from going far.                 

For who would wander so, away,                                

From all that good and plenty?                                    

Who travels through the cold and snow,                  

To build out on the empty?   

                          There stands a widower, alone,                                   

His eyes are cold and firm,                                            

Where once glowed yellow windows, warm,             

an icy wind now burns.         

                                          The hive is gone,                                                                            

The Queen is dead,                                                          

The corridors lay empty,                                                

The paths creak where swift feet once trod,             

And ghosts wander, false and friendly.

There are no bees in Snowchester,

They cannot stand the cold.

But you are made of sterner stuff.

You stay your course,

You hold.

#dream smp #dsmp #tubbo #c!tubbo #c!beeduo #beeduo #it's about the love #it's about the grief! #its about who you become when you love somebody! #what you hide what you suppress #how you mould yourself different to fit them better #it's about nature! #your's and the world's and how they intersect #its about resilience #its about growth #or lack there of #its about everything babey #... god this poem took so long #i'm done ✌️ #my writing #anyway #hope the realisation that ~ there are no bees in snowchester ~ was as much a gut punch to you as it was to me cause that's what sparked this #whole thing #NOTHING HAPPENED AND THAT WAS THE PROBLEM #my poetry

[metalotaku-da]

so a song fic part of my story i've had planned for a while but i just couldn't hold off any longer it had to be written. and it went more off the rails than i thought orignally. so off the rails i actually have no idea how to describe what was happening. but it was funny to me.

#fanfic #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc comics #dp x dc crossover #danny phantom #gotham city sirens #big brother jason todd #selina is danny's mom #danny and dani are having father daughter bonding #danny wants to torture vlad for it #bruce is traumatized #ghost biology #or lack there of

[roachemoji]

I genuinely can't think of anything more terrifying than knowing there are people in this world who truly believe suffering is justified

#bo posting #palestine #disappointed but not surprised about canada's vote #or lack there of #idk man what more is there to say #i have hope for palestine #because its all i have to give

[otiksimr]

JELLYFISH DRAGON!!!!!!!

Jellyfish dragon???

#Behold my photo editing skills #or lack there of

[urlocalwhumper]

i love whumpees who end up so broken, either physically or mentally, that there's no real hope of rehabilitating them or ever seeing them live self-sufficiently again. so caretaker just has to, well, take care of them, knowing that this is probably what they'll be doing for the rest of their lives.

#whump #whump prompts #broken whumpee #rescue whump #recovery whump #or lack there of #mine

[allylikethecat]

This feels like a sign of something, of what, I’m not sure, but a sign none the less

#allylikethecat #ally’s thoughts #ally’s creative process #or lack there of #fanfic #fanfiction #matty fic #gatty #75 fic #i was looking at the word count of a new secret project #out of curiosity #because i like to use it as a gauge for pacing #and was like omg

[smut-and-circles]

Wait- HUH???

How are people finding this blog again!?!?1 hfgdgfxuuughg-

(not even mad, just geniuenly confused because I rarely update here-)

^ me rn

#like- #i can update here no problem but #motivationnn- #or lack there of #h #can still reply or write things if you will #update i guess #i can also try to post my other things here if you're interested #after all #jsab is only one of my many obsessions so- #ask away and see me be cringe (affectionate) #i guess #i dont even know anymore #😎👍

[snarky-badger]

Had a panic attack today. Really bad one. I'm dissociating now. Know it's not good that I don't feel anything. My chest hurts.

Got snarked at during it because of my 'tone'. Was told I could open the window of the car to get some air to help calm myself - immediately had to listen to the driver bitch about the wind. Closed the window because the complaining was making me worse. Immediately had the passenger use another 'whatever' tone when I started to shut down.

Just for context - the driver and passenger are my parents. Whom I take care of. I had a panic attack while doing their errands because the self-checkout I was forced to use kept breaking and I was getting snarky comments from the customer service rep who kept having to come fix it.

Currently sitting in the living room with both parents now ignoring me while I sit here and try not to cry.

I am so tired.

#mental health #or lack there of #panic attacks #i am so tired #tw: dissociating #tw: panic attack

[knockknockmf]

people think Max is unbothered when getting a win I hate to see the reactions when Oscar gets his first win

#japanese gp 2023 #f1 #oscar piastri #man is just so unbothered #I love his reactions #or lack there of

[chenziee]

The Markless

Another series? From me? It's exactly as likely as you think. Soulmate AU, Lawlu Edition, with a side of post-Dressrosa comfort fluff (because I don't have enough of those) ❤️🖤

[ Read on AO3 | Ko-Fi ]

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They say that everyone has a soulmate out there somewhere. There will always be a person matching the mark decorating your skin, you simply have to find them.

Sounds easy enough.

But nothing is ever as easy as it seems when the world is separated into five seas, when it’s nearly impossible to travel through freely unless you have government permission to cross the Red Line and a Navy warship to get you through the Calm Belt. Only the strongest—or absurdly lucky—people go wherever they want and survive.

And, even if you overcome all those odds and are able to travel across all the seas, there can be other obstacles to stand in the way. 

Stubbornness is one.

Blank skin another.

----------

Monkey D. Luffy didn't have a soulmate.

He knew this long before Chopper had wondered about the lack of a soul mark on his skin. After all, Ace and Sabo had searched every inch of Luffy's body when they were young, going as far as to nearly shave his hair off to make sure the mark wasn't hiding anywhere.

According to them, they didn't want to think their little brother was one of the unlucky people with no soulmate in the world.

Luffy didn't understand what part of not having a soul mark made him ‘unlucky.’ He didn't back then, and he certainly didn't get it now, twelve years later. He just honestly didn't care that he didn’t have a soulmate—hell, even if he did, he wouldn't have cared.

He had his brothers, his crew, his friends. He didn't need or want anyone else 'special' and he most definitely didn't want that special someone to be picked for him by ‘fate’. He was the captain. He was the one to judge who was a good person, who was going to be a part of his family.

And he didn't need any mark or soul connection to decide that for him.

He had always believed so but he became certain of it as he stood at the window of Dressrosa's Corrida Colosseum, his talk with Zoro and Kin’emon interrupted by Mingo, who had landed a few metres away from them. It was like he was watching it in slow motion; a building crashing to the ground, people screaming, Mingo taking a step forward to loom over Torao for a moment before he raised his gun. He was saying something but Luffy couldn’t hear him through the white noise in his ears as a pang of panic stabbed through his stomach. He did hear what came next though.

Bang.

Bang.

Bang.

“TORAO!!”

Luffy screamed as bullets were shot straight at Law, not one missing its target. Luffy lunged forward. He grabbed the bars to break them, to squeeze through them, anything… But he could do nothing but watch, helpless against the sea prism stone as dark, deep red blood pooled under Law’s lifeless body.

He hadn’t felt this scared in two years—not since he saw Ace kneeling on that platform at Marineford. Nor had he felt this much rage in equally as long.

Two years of getting stronger—for what? To be unable to save yet another person, yet another special presence in his life?

Because right then, Luffy knew. Torao wasn’t his brother, he wasn’t a part of his crew, and he wasn’t just his friend. It had been just a few days since they had met again on Punk Hazard but even so… he knew that Torao—that Law— was special. And that was all that he needed to know.

All that he needed to feel.

“Mingo!” He pushed and pulled on the bars, fighting tooth and nail to stay on his feet, to not let the sea drain all his strength. “How dare you shoot Torao!”

Mingo was talking again. Probably trying to provoke Luffy; even just his maniacal, impossibly wide grin was enough for him to know that. But… he still couldn’t hear a single word. He only needed to know if Torao was alive, if he was safe. Nothing else mattered; least of all Doflamingo.

“Torao, you better be alive,” Luffy muttered through gritted teeth.

“Luffy?” Zoro asked then, voice quiet and uncertain.

Luffy tore his eyes away from Law’s broken form, turning to look at his first mate instead. “Zoro…” He wanted to say more but he didn’t have the words, didn’t know what to say. There was only a wordless scream at the tip of his tongue.

Even so, it looked like Zoro didn’t need him to say anything. He paused for a split second but then, something like a realisation appeared on his face and he huffed, nodding slightly before charging at Mingo. “Kin! Get Torao out of here!”

It didn't take more than a few painful, frustrating moments for Zoro and Kin’emon to be shoved aside by the gambler old man, far enough for Mingo to grab Torao and take him away, out of Luffy’s sight and reach. 

“Torao!” Luffy called after them. He didn’t know if Law could hear him but he still needed him to know. “Wait for me.”

Luffy didn’t like letting go of Ace’s fruit; he absolutely hated the idea of any of the people in the Colosseum even touching it. He didn’t want anyone who knew nothing about who Portgas D. Ace really was to inherit his power but…

Torao’s Voice was weak, getting weaker with every passing second, and that was the only thing that mattered to him right then. He needed to get out of there, he needed to go to the palace immediately. He wouldn’t let Mingo chain Law down any longer.

He would save his chosen soulmate, no matter what.

[ Read the rest on AO3 ]

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Note: for Soulmate AU, Zosan Edition, go check out the Always with you ZoSan AU zine!! It's going to be a part of the main zine so if you have bought it, you can look forward to reading it there! But if you haven't, there will also be aftersales :D (I will post the story on AO3 too, once the project is over <3 )

#one piece #lawlu #trafalgar law #trafalgar d water law #luffy #monkey d luffy #opfanfic #lawlu fanfic #lulaw #soulmate au #soulmates #soulmate identifying marks #or lack there of #fluff #canon divergence #canonverse #post-dressrosa #hurt/comfort #getting together #idiots in love #katie pretends to fic #i can't believe it took me this long to write a soulmate au #better late than never tho right? #there SHOULD also be a frobin edition.. eventually... hopefully.... maybe..... #this story took me so long it was so hard i'm so happy i managed to finish it #dressrosa emotional baggage am i right #makes everything so hard #one day i will be able to full unpack it but today is not that day #obstacles verse

[falling-star-cygnus]

when you can’t find the Wolfwood pop anywhere so his soulmate is left alone with an army of grass toads {they’re in the shadows, watching… waiting}

#bulbasaur my beloved #my favorite pokemon #vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d. wolfwood #or lack there of #i can’t #find him #and i’m sobbing #trigun #trigun stampede #trigun maximum #sobbing #froggy friday #yes that’s pav next to him #bulbasaur

[nice-bright-colors]

This morning I’ve been bitten by a couple of dogs, both upward and downward facing.

#yoga poses #flexibility #or lack there of #need to master the business class airline seat recline pose #that’s about how much flexibility this old man has

[thingusgodking]

Good gods I’m feelin’ bad today

Who up feeling bad

#art #or lack there of #mental illness #the sickness I’m not down with it it’s here anyway #iugynytbfutbrddeyyre3$3gtrh4y42uuj #um I wanna nap

[thesconesyard]

Welp. Yeehawgust is done and my crazy cowboy month of writing left my other stories by the wayside, and trying to pick them up and decide which to write on and where it’s at is driving me a bit crazy because I want to write. Sigh. And I was doing such actual good progress on them before yeehawgust.

Story from work to make up for whining. First grader came up to me at recess. Little boy I worked with sometimes last year. I ask what he needs and he starts chattering away at me in Spanish.

Me: (looking sorry) No entiendo Español. Lo siento.

Him: *sighs*

Me: (at the girl with him) Inglés?

Her: *shakes head*

Me: Un momento. *looks around, sees other child* Student A!! Come here!

We begin walking to him as he walks towards us. My helpful brain is trying to think of something else to say to these kids and starts forming “ich spreche…” before recalling I can’t speak German to these kids who speak Spanish 🤦🏻‍♀️

Fortunately the other student translated for me and I solved the issue. (Another student was saying the boy and girl were boyfriend/girlfriend when they weren’t.)

But yay for my language learning brain that it tried to help? Even if the language it wanted wasn’t helpful 🤷🏻‍♀️

#slice of life #work tales #my writing #or lack there of

[orchidyoonkook]

I always wanna do the wip games yall tag me in but I don’t have any 😭😭😭

I don’t write like a lot of writers on here. I usually just do one project at a time.

#wip games with yoon #or lack there of #yoons ramblings #yoon on writing