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piss-pumpkin · 2 months

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Drunken confessions (kind of suck)

Leo valdez x reader, about 3.4K words, gn reader, tw- drinking/alcohol on part of the reader. Party time bitches.

Leo, like he was most days, was hunched over his desk in bunker nine. Tinkering with the new version of the demigod-safe cell phone, while the people he made it for were outside, probably training, laughing maybe. Hanging out without him. He sighed, pushing his chair back and running his hands through his hair, out of his face.

“Hey!”

Leo jumped, spinning around to face you, your voice cutting straight through the stagnant air and straight through him. How he didn’t hear you come in was a mystery. “Hey,” he said, confused smile on his lips. “What are you doing in here, you can’t be out of training yet, it’s still early.”

You hummed, coming up in front of him, and standing over him, arms crossed. “I’m not, I’m on a quick break,” you smiled, leaning down slightly closer to his face. “But Piper told me that you brushed her off earlier when she asked if you were coming to the party tonight.”

Leo winced. Right. The party. More than the regular Friday night affair in the Dionysus cabin, it was a big one. He wasn’t sure what they were celebrating, his best guess was a birthday, or a holiday he’d forgotten. “Yeah,” he said, sucking a breath in through the teeth of a pained smile. “I was gonna skip it.”

His smile faltered when he saw your face fall, and lips purse. You sighed, and hopped up to sit on his desk, to the side of his projects. “Why?” You whined, crossing your arms.

Leo turned around to face you, and tilted his head back and forth, side to side, and sighed. “Well, I got plenty to work on here,” he said lamely, gesturing at all the little parts sprawled out in front of him.

You huffed, not quite buying it, clearly. “Leo, you’ve been working non stop for like, days. You need a break,” you said, looking down at him sceptically.

He groaned. You weren’t wrong. When were you ever?“Parties aren’t really my thing,” he laughed, leaning his head back. “Believe it or not.”

You stifled a laugh, “Oh, I do believe it.”

He smirked, sitting up a moment. “What, you don’t think I can dance or something? I didn’t expect you to agree with me so fast, Y/n,” he teased, pointing up at you accusingly, “I’m hurt.”

You threw your hands up in surrender, “Hey, I call it like I see it,” you laughed. “But let it be known, I do think you could tear up a club, I think you could have moves.”

Leos eyes softened as he smiled. “Well, thanks for the vote of confidence, you flatter me,” he said, resting his head on his palm. He couldn’t help smile up at you dumbly. His workshop was never particularly bright, even with all the lights on. The lack of windows always kept it relatively dim, much to Leo’s distain. But you managed to sit in just the right spot, so that the light hit your face perfectly.

You smiled, and playfully flicked him on the forehead, and as usual he pretended to be annoyed. “Leo, it’ll be fun, a good way to get out of the bunker,” you raised your arms, gesturing around, eyes following your hands. “Dude, the air in here can’t be good for you. I feel like I’m getting asthma just breathing in here, there’s dust and metal crumbs everywhere.”

Leo grimaced. Once again, you weren’t wrong. He glanced around, and even in his desk there were leftover piles of metal shaving from past projects. And a few small puddles of probably oil from god knows what. Probably shouldn’t have that so close to the phones.

And you weren’t done. “And besides, it can’t be that bad if I’m there with you,” you said, smiling down at him. Leo could practically feel himself folding, despite everything. He sighed as you continued. “How about this,” you said, determined glint in your eyes. “I won’t leave your side, the whole night, okay?”

Yep. He was a goner. You held out your pinkie to him, promising that your words rung true. He sighed, giving in completely as he clasped fingers with you, and shook on it. “Alright, fine,” he relented. “When is it?”

You grinned, playfully hitting him in the shoulder. “That’s the spirit,” you said. “And besides, if it sucks, we can just ditch it and hangout… in the woods or something,” you shrugged. “It officially starts at like, eight, so we can get there like, nine maybe.”

He couldn’t help but smile, idly fidgeting with a few spare gears his hands seemed to find on their own. “Alright, you’ve convinced me,” he said. Not a lie. As much as he dreaded a big crowd when he wasn’t in the mood for it, you could probably make any night fun. But there was one downside to that. He decided not to think about it. Get there when he gets there.

You smiled, watching him tinker. “Okay, I’ll come by here later, before we go, yeah?”

”Yeah,” Leo nodded.

You hopped off the desk, and it suddenly felt much too big, far too spacious without you there. Like you were the key to make it seem right. You gently hit him in the shoulder on your way out. “Kay, I’ll be here then. In the meantime I got Pegasus duty,” you said, starting for the door.

He waved you out, and turned back to his desk when you shit the thick metal door behind you. His plan had been derailed, and he struggled to remember exactly what he was doing before. His eyes landed on a few small pieces, and remembers what part of the phone he was building. Right. Focusing.

…

Somehow, seemingly in a blink, you were back, and Leo couldn’t believe it had been five hours. Yeah, you might have a point about him losing track of time stuck in that bunker. Reluctantly, he let you drag him away from his work desk, folding as soon as you took his hand.

Leo cheered as you linked arms with one of the Stolls to down a shot with him, and laughed as you dragged him over to dance. And you kept your promise, he was dragged along through every misadventure you wanted to go on. Like always, he supposed.

And like always, you went a little hard. Harder than you should have, probably. And Leo didn’t particularly like to drink, so he was right there to help you when you were stumbling, and take you through the woods back to the bunker to crash on his couch.

You stumbled, but not only did Leo have fast reflexes, he was waiting, watching you carefully. He caught you, sighing as he threw your arm over his shoulders. “Come on,” he groaned, taking your weight.

”Thank you,” you chirped, leaning your head happily on his shoulder. “That was very nice of you.”

Leo grimaced, and looked at the ground away from you. Maybe if he did he’d have a better shot of maneuvering the two of you away from the rocks and twigs that could trip you.

“Leoooo,” you said, lightly shoving him.

His face fell, he couldn’t help it. He knew what was coming the moment you took your first drink.

“You’re pretty,” you smiled, nudging him with your elbow.

“Thanks,” Leo said flatly, keeping his eyes forward as he made his way to the bunker. His feet moved left, right, up and over the pebbles and the ferns, trying to get you there safe. He spared you one glance though, as much as he didn’t want to.

Yep. Bad move. You were smiling at him lovingly, the moonlight reflecting off your eyes. The sun had to be rising soon, right? Leo sighed, losing his stoic conviction. “You too,” he chuckled.

You grinned, letting out a quiet, “Yippee,” and what could Leo do. Nothing. But you weren’t done, never were. “I’m glad we’re best friends,” you said, entirely too sentimental when drunk.

“Me too,” he replied simply, arriving to the bunker. He fiddled with the door code, and then kicked it open so he could keep you up. He led you to the couch,“Alright, down you go,” he snickered, dropping you.

You sat down, and leaned back, dissolving into the cushions. “Don’t go back to work,” you said quietly, leaning your head to one side. Leo hadn’t even realized he was walking to his desk.

Leo smiled, turning around to face you. “Don’t worry, I won’t.” He scrounged around on the table until he found a few pieces of scrap metal, and then came back to sit on the opposite side of the couch.

“I think you work too much,” you huffed, leaning your back in the armrest.

Leo shrugged, “somebody has to make the demigod phones, and repair the swords.”

”It doesn’t have to be you.”

Leo leaned against the cushions, heaving a small sigh. When were you ever wrong? He curled his legs up in front of him as he nestled his face against the fabric. “You have a point,” he surrendered.

“That’s me,” you agreed, folding your arms. “Full of points.”

Leo chuckled, and a brief silence fell over the room. You were starting to close your eyes, and slump further into the couch, and he felt himself doing the same. With a sigh, he stood up, fighting through the tiredness in his bones, to get the light. When he came back, he leaned over the back to see you, his eyes adjusting to the dark. “I take it you want the couch?” He asked, brow raised.

You shifted a bit, half asleep already. “I can have half,” you said, pointing to the empty side. “Other sides for you, I don’t mind.”

He pursed his lips. Careful territory. “Okay,” he said, hopping the back of the sofa. He did his best to tuck his legs up, as to not encroach on your space. Your head seemed to be buried in the pillows, he smiled as he watched you sleepily maneuver your way out to breathe, and find a comfortable position. It appeared he was safe this time. He could relax.

”Leo, sometimes I think we should date.”

Or not. His eyes flew open to look at you, but you’d melted into the silhouette of the sofa. He sighed, cracking his back against the armrest. “You know, I don’t disagree with you, Y/n,” he said, hands rubbing the circled under his eyes.

He heard a faint gasp, “Really?”

He winced at how happy you sounded. You always did. “I’d honestly love to,” he relented, not bothering trying to look at you. “I’ve had a crush on you forever.”

Another gasp, and you were sitting up now, he could feel the cushions move beneath him. “You mean it?” You asked innocently, voice cutting straight through him.

He groaned, and sat up and opened his eyes. Your fake silhouette was much closer now, sitting on your knees. Maybe too close for comfort. Or not close enough. “I do.”

”Then we should date,” you asserted confidently.”

This was the part he dreaded the most. “Remind me tomorrow, then, and we can,” he said. Same as always. He silently scolded himself for indulging in this conversation. Or maybe for volunteering his bunker for you to stay.

He couldn’t see well in the dark, but your frown was clear as day. “But I might forget,” you pouted, scooting closer.

He sighed. Suppose there was no avoiding it. “Then I guess we won’t date,” he shrugged casually, a hint of malice creeping into his voice. He avoided your eyes that shone through the shadow, and the full familiar ache in his chest.

“How about you just remind me,” you suggested, raising your finger in the air with certainty like you’ve thought up an amazing plan.

Leo flinched. “No,” he snapped, sounding more mean then he meant. His face fell as you shrunk away, clearly confused and hurt. He sighed, cradling his face in his hands and letting out a far softer, “No.”

”W-why not?” You asked, recoiling into the cushions.

He couldn’t help shoot you a pained look, and sigh once again. What was the harm in telling? Changes are you wouldn’t remember anyway. “Because you only like me when you’re drunk, Y/n,” he conceded. “I swear, almost every time you drink you get like this.”

You stayed silent a moment, and blinked a few times. “I-“ you started, reaching a hand up towards him, but quickly restricting it. “That’s…” you couldn’t seem to find the words, needing another pause. “I liked you earlier, too… and yesterday.”

”Then why can you only say it now?” He spat, resting the back of his head on the armrest.

He could see the cogs of your brain turning, as your hand gripped the couch with force. “It’s hard, Leo,” you said rather pathetically. “You know that!”

Leo actually had it in him to laugh at you now. As if. “Yeah, sure,” he snickered. “You’d have trouble confessing to me,” he said, rolling his eyes. “That’s too hard to believe, I think my hypothesis seemed more likely.”

You scoffed, “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about,” you announced, punctuations yourself by standing assertively and pointing at him. It was seconds later that you started to wobble, your silhouette moving.

Leo groaned, getting up to catch you again, taking your arm to steady your balance. “Y/n, you’re miles out of my league, it’d be the easiest thing in the world for somebody like you to ask out somebody like me,” he said, trying to get you to sit down.

But you had some fight in you. Suppose that was typical, Leo thought. You pushed off him to point even harder, your finger getting alarmingly close to his face. “Don’t be mean to yourself!” You commanded, incredibly confident.

He tried to suppress a smile, but couldn’t. The corners of his lips tugged up as he sighed, clenching his jaw. “Okay, fine,” he said, gently moving your hand away from his head. “But my point still stands, I think your standards just get lower when you’re like this.”

You finally let him take your arms, and sit you down. “I think I have pretty high standards.”

He couldn’t help shake his head as he smiled, “yeah, sure.” When you were down on the couch, he threw the pillow from his side to you. You didn’t catch it, but you square in the face. After you shot him a look, you shoved it behind you to lean on, finally lying down on your side. Leo could make do without the extra cushion if it meant you’d finally give up.

”Leo, I think you should be nicer to yourself,” you said quietly.

Leo banged his head against the couch, lamenting that this conversation was still happening. He shook his head. “You might be right,” he said. “But just-“ he looked up at the ceiling, making out the vents and fans and pipes that lines it. “I can’t believe that you like me until you tell me when your sober.”

”I always mean too.”

He pursed his lips. As hard as he tried to stay casual, brush you off, he was losing. Hurting, even. Like every word you said was a weight on his heart. “Maybe I’ll ask you tomorrow then,” he sighed. “Then we can see for sure.”

You exhaled, like a sigh of relief, and seemed to melt. “That’s good,” you said.

He waited for more words, but they never came. You were finally out. He smiled slightly, burying his face into his hands. He’d survived, at least, the onslaught of your affections. Low chance you’d remember any of this tomorrow, he wasn’t held to his word. But he might keep it anyway, and ask you about this. The first time you drunkenly confessed, he brushed it off. The second time, recoiled in fear, and since have written it off as you getting a little silly. You’d probably laugh when he told you, and you could both make a joke of it until next time.

…

You were lucky the bunker was dim, because your head throbbed with every movement and shine of light that caught your eye. You groaned, doing your best to sit up. ‘Twas an arduous task indeed.

“You’re up?” Leo asked happily, sitting cross legged at his work desk.

You shoulder your eyes from the light, and looked over at him. “Dude,” you managed. “What time is it?”

Leo tapped a phone on his desk, and told you it was around one. Phone? You stood up, maybe too fast, because your head pounded harder, and you stumbled slightly. Ugh. The room was spinning in the entirely wrong direction. Or maybe any direction was bad, and rooms shouldn’t spin at all.

in a blink Leo was there, one arm out to catch you if you fell. “You alright?” He asked.

You nodded, talking seemed too hard in that moment. Smiling, you grabbed the hand he had outstretch to pull yourself up to stand straight, and started to his desk. “You finished the phone?” You asked, squinting down at it. It looked pretty done, but you had to ask. Just to be sure.

He came up beside you, tapping it again to show you the lockscreen. It was a photo from last night, Piper was on your shoulders trying chicken fight a tall cyclops. You cringed, sucking a breath in through your teeth. Unfortunately you remembered that one.

Leo snickered. “It’s basically done,” he said, picking it up, “First one can be yours.” He flipped it in his palm so it was facing you, and your jaw fell open slightly.

”For real?” You asked skeptically, taking it. The blue light was a little bright, you’d have to turn that down. “I think the first should be yours, you made them.”

”Yeah, but I made them mostly for you and the others,” he shrugged.

You pursed your lips, suppressing a smile. “Fine,” you conceded. He was entirely too sweet, wasn’t he? “But, you said, pointing at him. “Your number has to be the first one I add, alright,” you counter, brow raised.

He rolled his eyes, but you saw the smirk building on his lips. “Sure, fine,” he said, putting his hands up in surrender. He went back to his desk to retrieve another, and started tapping at it, and eventually came to you with a number, which you happily added.

When the headache dulled, and you felt like facing the world, you and Leo decided to go to the dining pavilion. It wasn’t exactly a meal time, but the gods and canon magic should make an exception for you, Dionysus would probably approve of the night you had, anyway. When you grabbed a plate, there was food. Small victories.

“Oh my Gods, you were saying some shit last night,” Leo laughed, sliding into the seat next to you, “At one point you said you could beat Percy at surfing.”

You cringed. “Please tell me he won’t remember that,” you said, picking at toast with your head in your hands. “If he takes me up on that challenge I’m fucked.”

Leo laughed, shaking his head, “Doubt it.”

You smiled, and took a bite of breakfast. Definitely best not to remind Percy about that.

Then Leo pursed his lips a moment, staring intently at you while you ate. Your eyes narrowed and chewing slowed as you met his gaze. Before you could ask, he shook it off, physically even, shaking his head as he looked back at his phone on the table. “Yeah, you were on a roll last night,” he laughed. He started counting on fingers each silly thing you’d done. “There was the Percy thing, you tried to get matching tattoos with Piper,” he said, on the second finger. “You kept trying to go on the roof,” he snickered, and then paused, presumably to think. “Oh, and you tried to ask me out,” he laughed, putting up a fourth finger.

You practically choked, feeling your face get hot, probably blushing like mad if you had to guess. You glanced over at him, and his little lopsided grin, “I what?”

Part 2

Guys Leo is literally my husband. Idk what to tell you. Anyway I just think the idea of somebody constantly confessing while drunk and forgetting is is adorable.

#x reader #leo valdez x reader #leo valdez #pjo #pjo x reader #hoo x reader #leo valdez x you #leo valdez x y/n #my writing

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pablitogavii · 9 months

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pablo comforting/ taking care of the reader who’s in the hospital 💙❤️

His Priority

You always suffered with bad allergies that often activate your asthma but since you rarely travel your medication usually take care of it when you're in Spain.

Since Pablo joined the first team, he started traveling more wanting to bring you along whenever you can but all the travels in Europe didn't cause any allergies.

When you came to California, it was a different story. Your nose already became stuffy before you stepped out of the plane and the more time passed you started to feel your throat closing up.

Pablo was on one of his last training sessions before game against Arsenal when your asthma attack happened and you quickly called Aurora to come to your room to help you.

She gave you your pump but since it wasn't helping as much as it usually does, you knew that you should go the urgent care where they can give you stronger medicine.

Gavira family took you with their rental car and the moment they gave you medication through infusion you started to breathe much better.

pablitoo: did you go somewhere with my family amor?

pablitoo: i'm at the hotel and nobody is picking up

pablitoo: is everything alright??

pablitoo: amor please call me i'm so worried!

"Um..Rora..can you..um..give me my..phone?" you menage to talk taking off your oxygen mask and she quickly took it from your purse and gave it to you. You saw all Pablo's messages from half an hour ago knowing he must freaking out badly at this point.

"Call..P..Pablo..he's scared" you said having to return the mask since medication still haven't recovered you completely and Aurora took your phone dialing her brother's number.

"Amor! Donde estas!? I was so worried something happened!? Why weren't you answering your phone!" Pablo was rambling and Aurora sighed rolling her eyes at his dramatic tone.

"Callate hermano! Y/n is fine but she had an asthma attack.." Aurora said and that made Pablo shut up completely before panic started to set in again. Something really did happen and he wasn't there with you!

"Where are you!? Where is she!?" Pablo said and Aurora sent him the location as he quickly hung up and got a ride straight to the hospital not caring about any events scheduled or the recovery session he had for his back later in the evening. Getting to you was his number one priority right now!

"No! I don't want to wait! I want to see my girlfriend right now!" Pablo was yelling and you saw him while one of the nurses drove you in a wheelchair back towards your room.

"Please chico this is a hospital.." lady on the front desk tried to calm him down but the moment he heard you calling his name he turned around and rushed to your side.

"Que pasaba amor!? Are you alright now!? Why..why are you in a wheelchair??" he spoke his eyes filling with tears and you held his face leaning in and kissing his lips gently.

"I'm alright cariño..my stupid allergies..nurse took me to do a scan of my lungs just to make sure everything is alright..I will stay here one night and then I'll be released" you said and he nodded listening carefully while walking back into your room where his parents and Aurora waited.

"Is she going to be alright??" Sr Gavira was first to ask and everyone looked at the nurse concerned and you blushed at how much they all cared about you. Pablo was petting your hair while listening and you looked up at him with a smile.

"She is going to be just fine. We did the scan just to be sure but looks like medications are working very well. We will send you home with the medication and keep you overnight for observation" she said helping you stand up and lay down on the bed and Pablo quickly moved to sit beside you and hold your hand.

"Amor..they need to connect my infusion to my hand" you smile touching his face with another hand and he nods letting go while the nurse to you set up holding it again the second she let go.

"I will be back with your results shortly..and we might need to set up security cause there is a crowd outside" nurse said and Pablo felt horrible to have caused this but he didn't think who saw him when he came here just wanting to see you as quick as possible.

"I'm so sorry.." Pablo said to her and the lady smiled at the way he was holding your hand not letting go for a moment.

"It's alright. You came to see your girl and that's admirable" she said leaving and Pablo finally relaxed kissing the top of your head while sitting down on the sofa besides you.

"Sorry we didn't answer hijo, we were with doctors" Belen said and Pablo just nodded catching his breath feeling a tear fall down his cheek and you pouted drying it with your hands.

"Let's give them some space.." Aurora said taking his parents out and you smiled thanking her kissing him the moment you were alone.

"I was so scared when nobody answered and when Aurora told me..I froze..and then I saw you in a wheelchair" he said and you shook your moving a little and he did as well not wanting you to get hurt and you kissed again.

"I'm alright Pablito..I promise. You can go back with your parents and get sleep for the game tomorrow" you said but he immediately shook his head determined to stay here with you the whole night.

"I'm not playing anyways..and I will get my back checked tomorrow when you leave with me..but tonight, I will be right here with you princesa" he said and you sighed about to say something to convince him but he wouldn't hear it.

"It's not an argument amor! I am staying! I want to stay and I need to stay..please" he said with puppy dog look and you smiled nodding your head.

"I spoke to Xavi to let him know what happened hijo. We will pick you both up tomorrow morning" Sr. Gavira said when they came back with a nurse who gave you good news saying everything was perfect.

"Gracias papi" Pablo said and man nodded touching my shoulder and wishing me a quick recovery. Belen kissed my head and Aurora hugged me tightly kissing my cheek.

Pablo knew how much you hated hospitals ever since you were a kid because you spent a lot of times there because of your asthma. He pulled the sofa close to the bed, turning Netflix on his phone and holding it so that you both have your own little movie night. Other hand of course held yours careful not to pull on the infusion.

Aurora thought that was just adorable snapping a quick picture and sending it to both of you. You smiled when you saw it and Pablo kissed the top of your head lovingly seeing your eyes slowly closing. When he made sure you were sleep, he turned off his phone laying beside you and holding you in his arms protectively.

Nurse came to check in smiling brightly when she saw the two of you together nodding her head and quietly fixing your infusion while Pablo kissed your forehead making sure you don't wake up.

"Thank you.." Pablo whispered and the nurse nodded reassuring him that you are doing very well and all the risk has passed. Pablo was thrilled to hear that finally able to relax and fall asleep with his chin resting on top of your head and your face nuzzled into his neck.

#pablo gavi x you #fc barca #fc barcelona #fc barça #gavi #gavigif #pablo gavi x y/n #pablo gavi x reader #pablo gavi icons #pablo gavi #gavi x reader #gavi x you #gavi x yn #gavi x vini #pablo gavira #pablo martín páez gavira #gavira #pablogavixreaderfluff #pablogavixreadersmut

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the-guilty-writer · 1 year

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Big Biggie

Request: from @itmejado

Could you write an imagine where Rossis daughter has an asthma problem and has to go to hospital for antibiotics and stay for a few days and the team comes and spends time with her, like playing chess with Spencer, penny makes cookies, she watches sports with Derek?

David Rossi x daughter!reader, Platonic!BAU x rossi!reader

Summary: reader with asthma finds herself in the hospital while her dad is away. The team steps in to keep her company.

A/N: I don't have asthma so I did research to try to get as accurate as possible. I hope this captures everything okay. If not, I am always open to feedback in order to make the next request better. Thanks!

CW: reader has asthma, minor swearing, hospitals, IVs, reader is sassy (as I'd imagine Rossi's daughter would be)

---

You hated frat boys

No. That statement didn’t cover it all; you hated frat boys that didn’t have the decency to cover their damn mouths when they coughed. Of course, not everyone had been raised in a mansion, but sometimes the level of common sense people lacked completely baffled you. After just one class of sitting next to a guy from Sigma-Phi-Disease-Factory claiming that he “just has allergies” you ended up with pneumonia.

No biggie, right?

Yes biggie. Big biggie.

Because having athsma made treating pneumonia far more complicated than taking a trip to the student health center.

The persistance of your wet cough and the burn in your chest as you heaved air in and out of your lungs became increasingly concerning. You weren’t sure if you had so much pain in your chest because you felt like you couldn’t breathe, or if you felt like you couldn’t breathe because of the pain. When your temperature skyrocketed and your skill chilled, you had your roommate drop you off at the ER.

It didn’t take the doctors long to decide you needed to be admitted, and immediately after finding out the pneumonia was bacterial, you were glad you hadn’t waited any longer than you did. Growing up with athsma meant you had been through enough treatments, seen enough specialists, and had enough infections to know that you’d be laid up in the hospital on IV antibiotics for at least five days.

Staring at the ceiling, you found yourself craving company, but you weren’t sure who to call. Your roommates were busy working and your dad was on vacation. Well, actually he was on his book tour, but that was the closest thing David Rossi got to a vacation. You didn’t want to bother him.

The problem with that- you were still on his insurance plan. You’d have to bother him some time before you got discharged. It was probably better that you did it now rather than later.

“Ah, if it isn’t my favorite girl," he answered after the first ring. “I was just about to call and tell you about this fantastic restaurant I went to last night. I think it’s the best carbonara I’ve had since your great-grandmother was alive.”

“That’s great, dad,” you managed to choke out.

“(Y/N), what’s wrong?” Your dad said, his voice filled concern.

You wanted to sigh, but it came out as a cough. “I’m in the hospital,” you managed to say between heavy breaths. “Bacterial pneumonia. I have to be on an IV for a few days, but I’ll be okay.”

“I’ll catch the next flight home-”

“Dad, no.” You coughed, the speed at which you cut him off causing mucus to come up your throat. “There’s only one more day left of your tour. You deserve to have some fun every once in a while. I’ll be fine. Bored, but fine.”

You heard your dad hesitate. Rossi had raised you on his own. Every minute he didn’t spend working to catch the most dangerous criminals in the country, he spent taking care of you. The man deserved a break.

“Okay,” he said. “But if you need me all you have to do is call and I’ll be there.”

“Okay, dad.” Your eyes felt heavy. “I love you.”

“I love you too, kiddo.”

---

You weren’t sure how long you were asleep for, but when you woke up there was someone next to your bed.

“Who are you and why are you eating my jello?” You muttered, your eyes still only half open.

“Good morning to you too, (Y/N).” Derek chuckled. “How are you feeling?”

“Never better,” you replied, followed by a wheeze. “Why are you here? Let me guess, one of the nurses here is a serial murderer- wait no. Dr. Super Genius managed to get shot again.”

At that, Derek burst out laughing, nearlying dropping his empty jello cup on the floor. “You are your father’s daughter, aren’t you?” he said. “I’m here because I heard a certain Rossi told her dad not to come home from his book tour early and I couldn’t let the BAU’s favorite oldest kid be bored and alone.”

“I appreciate that, Derek, but you really didn’t have to. There isn’t much to do around here.”

“You didn’t let me finish,” Derek grabbed the remote for the TV. “The Commanders are playing the Bears today and there was no way I was going to miss an opportunity to watch my home team beat yours.” His smile turned cocky.

You wanted to back-talk him but you began coughing violently, mucus rising in your throat, chest heaving as you struggled for air.

“Let it out, kid,” Derek rubbed your arm softly. “Let it out.”

Just then another agent you knew all too well walked into the room, but this one was far less fun- Agent Hotchner. Though you had known him the longest of anyone on your father's team, he didn’t make for great company. Unless, of course, one considered filling out copious amounts of paperwork in silence a fun activity.

“Morgan, what did you do?” He asked.

“Nothing, Hotch!” Derek said defensively.

He was right- it wasn’t his fault your body decided that it needed to try to eject your lungs from your chest. But Hotch wasn't looking at you, instead, he walked over to the table with not one, not two, but three empty jello cups.

Your coughing subsided and Derek turned to look at his boss, who raised a suspicious eyebrow. “I might have participated in the jello.”

Hotch let out a small, rare smile and turned to you. “Your dad gave me the information to get your forms filled out so you don’t have to worry about it. I have to go, but you can call me if you need anything.”

“Thanks,” you managed to get out.

Hotch nodded. “Of course. Get some rest.” The interaction was short, brief, and to the point, but Aaron Hotchner leaving work to fill out medical forms so you didn’t have to do it later was his way of letting you know he cared.

“Now,” Derek said. “Where were we?” He turned up the volume on the TV just as the Commanders scored a touchdown.

“You’re going down.” You smirked at him.

---

“Ha! The Commanders win 14 to 7!” You cheered weakly. The antibiotics were starting to kick in, making the suffocating feeling in your chest far less painful than before.

Derek rolled his eyes. “Alright, alright, kid. But they only won because that ref made a bad call.”

“It doesn’t matter. They still won.”

“Who won what?” Penelope Garcia toddled into the room on bright pink heels. She was wearing a black and white polkadot dress with a cardigan to match her shoes. Sometimes you wondered if she had to bribe someone to get around FBI dress code.

“The Commanders beat the Bears,” you told her, smirking at Derek.

“Ooo!” Penelope squealed. She didn’t understand sports, but she understood enough to ask “So your team beat Derek’s team?”

You nodded.

“Do you know what that means?”

You shook your head.

“It means that you get to pick out your cookie before he does.” Penelope smiled and pulled a box of cookies out from her purse, offering them to you. They were the good kind- the ones that she spent hours icing and designing to look like cartoon kittens.

“Penny, you are the best,” you told her. You picked out a cookie that looked a whole lot like Sergio and took your time enjoying the delicious treat. “So good.”

Derek nodded in agreement as he finished off his first cookie and went to grab another one. Penelope swatted his hand away.

“I made one for each of us,” she said.

“But there’s one left,” Derek observed.

Before Garcia could reply, Spencer Reid made his way into the room and grabbed the last cookie. Derek looked defeated.

“Hey, (Y/N),” Reid said, putting down his satchel and taking a seat before starting on his dessert.

“Hey, Spencer,” you replied, then furrowed your brow in confusion. “You came in here without a hazmat suit on?” Spencer was known for having a slight problem with germs.

“As long as we stay five feet away we should be fine,” he countered. “Plus I want a rematch of our annual holiday game.” He pulled a chess board from his satchel and began to set it up on a small chair.

“Reid,” you started. “How are we supposed to play if I can’t even reach the board?”

“Morgan can move the pieces for you,” Spencer said with a mouthful of cookie.

“Penny can’t do it instead?” you asked, half to tease Derek and half because you were sure the guy had never played chess in his life.

“Hey, ouch!” Derek said, bringing his hand to his chest and pretending to be hurt. “But you are right. I think Penelope would be the better choice.”

“I’m on it!” Garcia got up from her seat to move closer to Reid, who had placed himself as far from your bed as possible.

The game took far longer than normal, with Spencer having to guide Garcia through what moves you were asking for, and the match ended in a stalemate. You were about to start another round when a nurse came by, letting everyone know that visiting hours were up.

You said your thank you's and goodbye's to your father's team members. After that, it wasn’t long before you fell asleep.

---

“Yes, and according to Morgan, her and Reid’s chess match ended in a stalemate. I have a feeling he might not be able to wait until the holiday party for a second rematch,” Hotch told Dave over the phone.

“Thanks for doing that, Aaron,” Rossi said. “It means a lot.”

Before Hotch had a chance to answer, a flight attendant tapped Rossi on the shoulder. “Excuse me, sir. I’m going to have to ask you to put your phone on airplane mode for the flight.”

Rossi gestured that he just needed one more minute and put the phone back up to his ear.

“What time are you getting in tomorrow?” Hotch asked.

Rossi sighed. “Not till the afternoon at least. I forgot that layovers are a huge pain in the ass.”

“Well, try not to worry too much about (Y/N). Emily and JJ have something planned to keep her occupied.”

Rossi smiled. “I’m sure she’ll love it.”

“Well,” Hotch said, taking on a bit of a playful tone. “As Garcia might say, it’s no biggie.”

“Sir.” the flight attendant came back, this time looking far more annoyed.

“I’ve gotta go. Thanks again, Aaron.” Rossi hung up the phone.

It’s no biggie.

But it was. Even when he couldn’t be there for his daughter, his team- their second family- always would be. And that was a big biggie.

#criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds x platonic!reader #criminal minds x reader #david rossi x daughter!reader #Criminal minds x y/n #criminal minds #david rossi

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secretswiftymarvelfan · 1 year

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Fallin’ In Heart First - Cole Turner x Country Singer!Reader

A/N: This is pretty much inspire by HEART FIRST by Kelsea Ballerini so definitely check it out!

Summary: Months after their break up Cole is still moping over Sadie, that is until he hears a certain voice

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: Fluff! Simp Behaviour!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics��

Masterlist

“I have just the thing you’re looking for,” Cole says with a small wink, pointing to the customer who was at the stall.

He reaches out to grab just a plain jar of honey before presenting it to the allergy-suffering customer. She raises a brow in confusion as she takes the jar from him “honey?”

“Yep have some every day, in your tea or on your breakfast, it’s made locally using local pollen so it allows your body to get used to the pollen before allergy season kicks in” Cole explains pushing his hands into his jeans pockets.

The customer studies the jar for a moment before shrugging her shoulders “Worth a shot” she admits before passing over some cash for it.

“Used it all my life and it’s saved me,” Cole says with a small wink.

The lady lets out a small snort of laughter as she shakes her head and puts the jar of honey in her bag “Well thank you” she chuckles before turning and walking off to another stall.

Cole watches as she goes, she was pretty cute, almost certainly his type but his heart just wasn’t in it. He watched as she paused at the nearby flower stall and began admiring the cactus. Something that instantly made Cole sigh deeply as he was reminded of her.

“Oh my god that’s like the millionth sigh this morning!” Mattie exclaims loudly, pulling Cole from his thoughts.

“No, it's not” Cole argues turning around to face his younger sister who was reclined back in her chair.

“Uh yeah it is, you do it whenever you look over at the plant stall” Mattie says pointing over to the stall in question.

“No, I don’t” Cole states with a small scoff shaking his head at her.

“Yeah, you do!” Mattie laughs “Aren’t I right Dad?”

“Yeah you are sighing a lot, you can sit down if you’re asthma is acting up coleslaw” his dad offers making Cole roll his eyes.

“It's not his Asthma it's him still wallowing over Sadie,” Mattie says sending Cole a knowing look.

“No, I’m not, I’m over that” Cole argues but even he could hear how unconvincing he sounded.

Mattie burst out laughing shaking her head at him “You do hear yourself right?”

“Mattie leave him alone, he thought Sadie was the one” his dad chastises lightly.

“Yeah just like he thought Bonnie and Laurie and Peggy were the ones” Mattie mutters under her breath.

“Look Coleslaw we’re doing alright here, why don’t you go take a break, explore the rest of the fair?” His dad suggests.

“Dad I’m fine” Cole sighs.

“And that’s a million and one” Mattie smirks.

“Fine, fine I’m going” Cole exclaims holding his hands up in surrender, grabbing his inhaler as he stormed away ignoring his sister’s laughter.

Cole didn’t really know where to go, the annual county fair was always massive. He knew his dad needed a new part for the tractor so maybe he could go get that, or see if the book stand had anything interesting on agriculture.

He was just walking past one of the bar tents when he heard angelic-like singing that had him freezing. Turning in the direction of the singing he ducked into the large bar tent which was full of people enjoying local cider and listening to live music.

Cole gently pushed his way through the crowd so he could see who was on the small stage. His heart skipping a beat when he finally saw the singer. You were absolutely stunning, perched on a stool in a long floral dress, daisies carefully weaved into your hair. You had a warm smile on your face as you expertly strummed your guitar and sang about love.

Cole was completely enamoured and when your gaze met his the rest of the world melted away and it was just you and him in that tent. You sent him a bashful smile, glancing down for a moment before your gaze returned to him.

For the rest of your set your gaze repeatedly met his and Cole couldn’t help but think you were singing directly to him. So when you finally finished and began packing up Cole didn’t hesitate and made his way straight over to you.

“Hey,” he greeted, shoving his hands in his jean pockets nervously.

You glanced up from your guitar case, a smile growing on your face and you rose to your full height “Hey” you echoed.

“I um just wanted to say I really enjoyed your set, you’re voice is beautiful” Cole says smiling nervously over at you.

You nibble your lower lip and look down bashfully “Thank you” you smile looking back up at him.

Cole gives you a small nod of his head as silence fell between the two of you. He didn’t want to leave but he just couldn’t think of anything else to say. He began to turn away when he spotted a sign for a local cider and instantly spun back around to face you.

“Can I buy you a drink?” He asked suddenly.

You startle slightly at his outburst but a warm smile soon grows on your lips “Yeah that sounds nice”

“Perfect, great,” Cole says with a sigh of relief.

You let out a quiet chuckle as you close your guitar case and pick it up “let's go” you grin.

“Here let me,” Cole says quickly taking the case from you “I promise I won’t drop it”

You let out a loud warm chuckle at that “Don’t worry I trust you…” you say tailing off at the end.

“Cole. I’m Cole, Cole Turner” Cole finishes holding out his free hand.

“Y/N” you smile shaking his hand and Cole could swear he felt sparks fly.

Cole held out his arm signalling for you to go first, smiling, trying and failing to stop himself from doing a little happy dance when your back was turned. You then glanced over your shoulder at him making him quickly recover and flash you a smile.

When you reached the bar Cole ordered two ciders for the both of you and then set down your guitar case. As he did do he noticed all the stickers from different states and cities across the country.

“Are these all the places you’ve toured?” Cole asks as you took a large sip of your cider.

You quickly swallowed and shook your head “No, I’m not much of a traveller far too much of a homebody, my family is just pretty large and spread far and wide so those are just from when I’ve visited them” you explain.

Cole hums nodding his head “I get that, I did a bit of travelling across Europe not too long ago, it was fun but I definitely liked being home and back in my comfort zone”

“Need a holiday from your holiday” you chuckle making Cole laugh.

“Yup exactly that” he smiles “So you don’t travel for your music?” He asks arching a brow.

“No it's just a hobby, I don’t have any real desire to ‘make it’, I just enjoy doing stuff like this and I love my job too much to give it up” you explain.

“What do you do?” Cole asks tilting his head slightly.

“I’m a librarian, so diving into fantasy worlds and romance novels is enough travel for me” You smile bashfully as you take another sip of your cider “What do you do?”

“I’m a farmer, but I have also written a book on the history of agriculture, it was published a few months ago now” Cole answers as he takes a sip of his own cider.

“Wait.” You say holding out your hand “Cole, as in Cole Turner?”

Cole furrows his brows “Yeah….” He says confused.

“I’ve read your book!” You exclaim.

Cole’s eyes widened in surprise “You have!?” He says shaking his head in disbelief, he thought he’d be the only one who’d ever read it.

“Yeah! It came into the library and it looked interesting so I gave it a read and it was really cool! You have a way with words” you explain smiling over at him.

“Thank you” Cole smiles bashfully “but if anyone has a way with words it's you! I mean your songs, god… I’ve never heard someone summarise love and falling in love like you”

“Thank you, not everyone would agree, I’ve been called a hopeless romantic,” you say with a small shrug of your shoulders “Well that's putting it nicely, I’ve been called needy, incessant texter, leading with my heart rather than my head… but I guess I am someone who’d do anything for love”

“I get that,” Cole says with a small nod of his head, making you look back at him with an arched brow “I once travelled halfway around the world after a girl who I went on one date with and didn’t hear back from only to find out she’s a CIA agent and get dragged into her mission to recover a weapon of mass destruction, there were bounty hunters and everything” he rambles looking down at his cider.

Silence fell between the two of you making Cole worry that when he looked back up that he would see a look of horror on your face. But when he did eventually look up he just saw a warm smile on your face.

“You fall in love fast don’t you Cole?” You ask with a smirk, Cole could only nod and swallow nervously “Well I’m glad I’m not the only one” you smile holding your pint out for a toast.

A wide smile broke out on his face as he joined you in your toast. Yeah, he fell in love fast but this time he was sure that he’d met his match, his equal, his soulmate.

Sharing is caring so please reblog if you enjoyed this and maybe even leave a comment to make my day!

Masterlist

I don’t have a taglist so follow @secretswiftymarvelfanlibrary and turn on post notifications to be kept up to date!

#NiamhWrites #Cole Turner #ghosted #Cole Turner x reader #Cole Turner x You #Cole Turner x Y/N #cole turner fanfiction #cole turner fluff

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merakimagic · 1 year

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Ummm… if you have every wondered what it’s like to have ADHD, Autism (Lvl 1), Anxiety and Depression but also have an overwhelming sense that you need to be strong and perfect then here’s a message I just sent to my friend because I needed to let someone in and didn’t know who else to say it to.

It seems to give a pretty clear explanation in my view.

I don’t know why I feel so annoyed and frustrated with myself for saying I have ADHD and Autism. I have those things and I’m not ashamed of them but why do I always need to tell people… so they understand why I’m different. I mean everyone’s different and have different ways of doing things, it’s not like I’m special nor does anyone care. It’s not an excuse! I should be completely cable of keeping that part of myself in and not feeling like I have to tell people.

Does the way I explain it to people make it sound like I’m trying to get attention? Does saying that I’m proud of it and love how it makes me more curious about things and how it has made me good at art, music, languages, school, mythology, sports, pretty much a lot of things because I enjoy knowing them make it sound like I’m arrogant or trying to brag or just put a label on things.

I have anxiety, Autism level 1, ADHD, Depression, have experienced an eating disorder and still at times do, I’m a red head with blue eyes, I’m bi/pan, anemic, have asthma and ahhhhhh. Does all of this when I contribute to a conversation and say something about one of them just make people think that I have a need to be special?

Im sure I don’t feel that way. I think the only reason some of my reactions to things like how I may have a panic attack need stimming and stuff like that only happen know because I know there’s a reason for it but what if I’m just making a big deal out of nothing.

I really need to learn to shut up at times I think, I don’t think people really care about my long spills nor do they really want to know what’s going on with me. Why are relationships so fucking difficult?!

Why can’t I just understand them and the way they work? Can’t they just be simple? Why if your dating someone does there have to be this whole thing of you have to do this with them and you can’t do this with other people? Why do I need sounds to go away when I get overwhelmed, the worlds loud! It shouldn’t matter? Why do I feel like it’s okay to be flaws but I need to be flawless all at the same time? Why am I afraid of not being perfect? Why if I felt like I told my parents about this they would just get angry at me and tell me it’s all in my head? Why am I crying? These are thoughts are dealing with on a daily basis why are they bothering me now? Why can’t I just keep it to myself? I’ve been handling shit on my own my entire life it’s nothing new? Why do I know that tomorrow I’m gonna be fine and this is just a moment where my walls have fallen down?

Why am I so confident sometimes and then the rest I’m just completely fucked up? Why do I always need to restrain myself? Why can’t I just scream and then get back to it all? Why do I have to feel ashamed? Why should I have to feel like my mum doesn’t want to admit I have Autism?

Why do I care if I have Autism or ADHD so much? They have always been apart of me? It doesn’t mean anything? They’re just caused by a genetic mutation and makes you neurotypical why does it even matter? They’re just labels, who even gives a damn? You could have neither one and act the same way as me and people might just call you weird? Why do I care so much about this shit? No one else fucking does, maybe I should just shut up for a while. It’s clear that when I make a joke that it’s taken offensively, it’s clear that no one wants to hear about my problems, it’s clear that no one wants to here my rants, it’s clear that no one wants to here about my hobbies or opinions, it’s clear that I don’t get how to properly interact with others. Maybe I should just shut up, but if I did then my parents would just go on about how somethings wrong and get angry at me for not talking to them about it and we would just end up in a fight where they are telling me to just get over it and if I turn it back on them for how they have made me feel this way then they would just get even more angry and deny it.

Dad brought up a post that said about how a guys son used to sing and never stop talking and now they will be in the same room and his son will have his headphones on not say a word and that his son doesn’t know how much is dad misses him. And dad said that reminded him of me. Doesn’t he get that they’re part of the reason I don’t talk all the time. Because evertime I did I got told to calm down or my joke was offensive or that they don’t need the elephant. Don’t they get I like my phone because it has my hyperfixations and ever since I was little have loved cartoons and looking at fanart because they were what got me through the hard days at school and my parents fighting. Don’t they get I used them to cope because everything was solved in 22minutes and that’s the world I like to escape to when I day dream.

Why the fuck does all this even matter, why the fuck am I just being so overly emotional? Why can’t this just be all there is going through my brain right now?

Obviously there’s more.

There’s the voice telling me to just let myself cry and the voice telling me to suck it up and another one telling me to get ready for work and another one telling me to stop messaging and another one saying don’t put this on them and another one asking why I’m shaking and another if one saying I’ve done well to hold back the tears and another one saying I wonder when this message thing will cut me off and I’ll have to send two seperate messages? And another one asking is this just what my head is like? Is this what everyone’s head is like? Is this just because of my mental health shit? Am I just weak? Am I really this pathetic that I can’t pull myself together? I don’t want anyone to feel bad for me so why do I need to let anyone in? Why do I want to so badly to talk about this but also say nothing at all?

What the fuck is wrong with me, why can’t I just get the hell over it and move on, people deal with way worse stuff then this and here I am complaining because my low self esteem and hyper active over thinking head is just having a bad day and pulling me into it and won’t fucking leave me alone… what a pathetic excuse. You can’t use excuses in life. No one cares and no one has time for them, no one’s gonna help you so stop making excuses and just get on with it.

Put on your uniform, pack your bag and go to work and put on a happy cheerful face and just go take care of other people so that you don’t have to think about this. Just get on with it, there a bigger things then yourself and you just gotta get over what’s going on in your head

I’m Okay… I’m okay now.

If you’ve every felt this way, please let me know.

I don’t want to feel so alone anymore, nor do I want others to feel alone either.

I just felt these were necessary to make the whole thing a little less sad and full on serious and honestly feel like these characters would get it. Also this is not my art💫

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wonderinc-sonic · 7 months

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Espilver Week Day Two: Charm

"My Good Luck Charm" on Ao3 (5.5k)

The heroes of Paris look a bit different, and find themselves a bit different too. This may be a bit inaccessible if you don't know anything about Miraculous Ladybug, but should be attainable to anyone who's watched about 1 episode. I also altered some of the lore in the world slightly, redesigned their costumes, and tweaked Tikki. Basically, it's weird but I had a lot of fun!

As the people of Paris fled from their weekly apocalypse, Espio slunk into the shadow of the Arc de Triomphe, camouflaging with the cream bricks as he released a black blob from the pocket of his jacket.

"Awh, come on! I was enjoying that nap!" the black blob rasped, unraveling from a ball into a tiny black cat-chao, floating before Espio's horn. Espio scowled at him.

"We are always ready to do our duty. Plagg - claws out!"

The powers of destruction and the mischieviousness of the cat flowed into Espio as Plagg encircled him in a swirl of black and green. His face was covered by a loose black hood that descended past his horn to his lip, with two wide mesh slots that showed his eyes spreading green, and two black pointed ears flopping. He was enrobed in a billowing dark trousers and shirt, with Yoroi over his shoulders. Under his clothes his skin was covered in a tight black layer, but one glowing ring on his finger flashed with a cats paw. A belt wound around his waist and twinned with his tail, and as he flicked his fingers his contracted staff materialised.

Espio expanded the staff to an impossible height, and stood atop the monument. No sign of his partner, but there was ample trouble to keep him busy. Under the cat's influence and mask he grinned, and allowed himself to be free of his regiment.

At ground level, somebody's house cleaner had clearly had enough of her poor treatment, and fallen victim to a butterfly's egg. Now, she terrorised the town with an arsenal of un-cleaning weapons, creating as much mess as she could.

"If this is about the scratched furniture, I assure you I'm not sorry. It will happen again." Espio smirked as he landed before her, whipping his tail around her ankle and flinging her into a bin. He saw two wings glaze over her eyes as EggMoth spoke in her mind, and she blasted her vacuum to pull her dumpster over to him in a flash, and soaked him with water and perfume from a heavy spray bottle.

"Bad kitty!" She snarled as he spat soap from his mouth. On instinct, he yowled as his uniform was dampened, and shook it dry into a puff.

Espio ran circles about her, poking and prodding with his staff to find her Akuma. She blocked and guarded most of them, but he managed to fling her into the air and take vicious jabs at her appliances. None yielded a hatching moth like he hoped.

Not that he could deal with that on his own, but the Espio part of him liked to be helpful, efficient and independent.

The Un-Maid growled and surged for him, summoning clouds of dust that coated the ground, but he leapt over her. Unfortunately, the civilian behind her was completely covered, and it proved toxic and cloying: the hedgehog gasped and choked. Espio's heart panged as he realised he knew that hedgehog - his dear friend who he couldn't allow to be hurt.

"Oh, that's fine - as long as you don't make my fur wet!" Espio moaned, and then ran past Silver as she blasted her soapy cannon again. Now he was dripping wet, but the dust was out of his face. Espio picked him up in his tail and ran.

"You have to be careful, kid - things can get messy!" He chuckled, and cast around for somewhere safe to stash him. Un-Maid had screwed up the streets with mud and oil, and the worrier behind the warrior pinged forty different ways his friend could slip and die, or catch fire.

"Oh I'm -" Silver coughed "Fine, thanks, Catana, just put me down here, plea-" He coughed again, hard.

"Where's your asthma pump?" Espio asked seriously, then panicked: "Because... you sound like you need one! I know a lot about sickness, you see, being a hero, and stuff."

Silver shook him away, and went to open the tatty shoulderbag he carried, then stopped.

"Shouldn't you be fighting?"

"I'm sure my lucky partner has it under control, wherever she is!" 'Catana' sighed dreamily at that, before Espio resumed focus: "I need to know you can breathe properly to run away."

Silver sighed, irritated. It stung Espio a little to know his friend didn't like his alter ego, but he supposed the Plagg in him was helping disguise Espio's true identity: Nobody would suspect the straight laced detective-in-training was secretly a ninja expert and secretly a smart-arsed superhero. It was part of the act, so he told himself it was good that Silver didn't trust the 'him' he didn't know.

Somebody screamed over his shoulder. Silver puffed, irritated, and extracted an inhaler from his bag, careful not to show the contents, to breathe in the medicine.

"Really, you think I'd steal from you? I mean I could, of course, being fast, and stealthy, and so charming you'd never suspect-"

"And also a terrible hero, so you might as well be a petty thief:" Silver offered, pointing over Espio's shoulder to the people being sucked into a giant vacuum.

"You wound me! Next time maybe I won't help you - you'll have to hope my partner is around!" He sighed in feigned hurt, winked, then scampered after the Un-Maid. Silver darted behind a scaffolding site, and revealed the kwami of creation in his bag.

"Stupid cat, I thought he'd never leave!" Silver sighed to Tikki, and flicked his earrings to engage his powers.

Just as Catana found himself tugging his tail out of the hoover, his scarlet partner appeared. They wore a red and black polkadot skirt so rounded it puffed out and in like a tulip, and a pair of suspenders flush to a red ruffled shirt. They had black sheer wings extending from black covered arms, and a mask over their eyes. Their long white hair was swept into two bunches either side of their head that fluttered as they descended gracefully on their wings, spinning a yo-yo.

"Impressive, Catana. I see you're taking the time to clean yourself up." They spoke in a low almost-whisper, but it rang in Espio's body like the Notre Dame bells. He stared at them, his mind disconnected from everything except his lips, where sat a stupid grin.

"I knew I was a lucky guy!" He said dreamily, as the Scarlet hero launched their yo-yo and spun it around the hose of the hoover, tightening it so he could pull his tail out.

"No akuma in any of the cleaning supplies, m'lady." He offered, and his partner twitched. Ladybug was what the press called them, and they'd never corrected that. They never felt the need to stoop so low, which as someone working adjacent to journalists, Espio respected deeply. But they never even told him - Catana, their partner - what he could call them. Which was difficult, both because they were Paris' new heroes, and because Espio loved his scarlet partner more than he even knew he could love anything before.

They skipped lightly around the UnMaid, who had completely lost Espio's attention. He dusted himself off and jogged after them.

"So I see. Thank you." They said calmly, in their customary whisper. They were winding the Yo-Yo around the Akumatised victim with artful loops, the string glowing red as it wound itself as if by magic. They were so magic, they oozed a glowing radiance that commanded Espio. Everything was magic when they were around.

"You think you've won? Don't forget, I fight dirty!" The Un-Maid snarled. Up close, they could see her uniform had molded into her wooly pelt, and her once tidy hair had burst out of a pin that now hung in her curls. That was all the coccinelle could observe, before their prey kicked a spray of mud in their eyes, that turned from a spray into a tidal wave.

Catana darted in front of his partner, spinning his staff as fast as he could to deflect the mud. This kicked up a wind that flushed wet earth into dirty air, but turned the splash back onto the Un-Maid. However, something caused the ever-composed scarlett hero to loosen their hold on their Yo-Yo, choking softly.

"Are you alright, lovebug?" Espio called jokily, then turned around to see his partner doubled over, white eyes streaming behind their black mask.

"Just- an allergy." They wheezed, waving him away and taking deep ragged breaths.

"Do you need something for it, are you going to be okay, I-" Espio stopped as they placed a hand across his chest.

"No. I'm just warming up, don't worry about me!" They stated in their whisper, their eyes on the troublemaker.

"I know how you feel - you take my breath away!" Espio winked as he patted their back. They rolled their eyes.

"Then how are you still talking?"

They shot off before he could respond, leaping into the air and floating with their black glittery wings, steered by their yo-yo tugging on lampposts. They pulled one long ponytail over their nose and mouth as they approached through the filth.

His scarlet partner fought with the tenacity of a tiger, but stayed graceful, intentional and powerful as they landed hits, dragged possessions and civilians out the grasp of the Un-Maid. Beside them, Catana looked like a bumbling kitten with feet too big for itself, but he did his best to flank his partner, knocking errant hits out their way to let them shine.

Speaking of shine, they had filthied the road with muck and soapscum in this fight. It became slippery, and Catana had to grip the tarmac with his tail, and even that was getting harder. But it wouldn't have been a problem, if there weren't still cars trying to drive around them and skidding.

"Just one moment m'lady;" Catana said sweetly, before he slid purposely on the ground into the traffic: "You lot! Get outta the way before you take a stick up the pipe!" he snarled in full cat, shunting them backwards. People started to reverse, except for someone who got out of his car and shouting. Catana scowled at him, then smiled as he leapt over the vehicle.

"I meant it."

He extended his staff to clink into the exhaust pipe, and hefted the car on the end of it like a wobbly lollipop.

"My- my Jag!"

"My Jag now, it'll find you later. Later!"

He plonked the car down on its side with a crash to rest like a barrier. The sight of a car bobbing in the air was enough to turn most of the crowds away.

Coccinelle had devised a careful trap of their yo-yo string, weaving in and out of hits with a feather-duster-Morningstar. They pitied the maid and her plight, but needed her to keep talking to rustle out the Akuma that had wriggled into her heart by an object she cared about, before it had a chance to lay eggs. This was what Catana was best at, as he never shut up, and hadn't ended up with a costume that meant he had to hide his voice, they presumed.

"Whatever you've been promised, it won't help you." They whispered as loud as they could. Un-Maid tore up the grass, and made to run for the shops again. They sighed, and delicately skidded in front of her. Their yo-yo was already occupied, so they prepared to fight fists, but a car slammed down right in between them.

"This is not what I thought the cat would drag in." They muttered, and grabbed Un-Maid by the ankles as she tried to escape.

"What's the matter? More a Mercedes gal? You'll fix it all in the end, I know you will." Catana breezed, but his partner shot him a look.

"This behaviour is why you've got detectives on your tail." They pointed carefully. Catana jumped, tugging his tail in hand, but smiled easily.

"The Chaotix are further from me than you might think." He laughed, and tipped their chin; "But thanks for worrying about me."

His partner rolled their eyes, just as he vaulted over them to be covered in a dustbomb. They covered their face with their lace glove.

"My hero. Stay focussed."

Their dismissal stung, but Catana was growing used to his partner: Their elegance and mystique was how they guarded their plans and moves, but they cared deeply for everything and every one of their opponents.

They gracefully ducked under the toxic spray of cleaning products. Understated, classy, not making a big show of themselves. It was how Espio tried to be in his daily life, but the Plagg in Catana tempted them to flip over the spray coming for him with a bow. Caught between their intentions, they staggered the landing of a flip. His partner's perfect heeled toe caught the back of his head, and they tipped him up next to them. He shorted out for a moment.

"I need her under the arch. Can you lead her that way?" They whispered especially quietly, lips barely moving. If they were any further from him, he'd never have heard, but their cheek was nearly on his. He almost didn't hear, but grinned giddily with excitement.

He looped his tail that tucked into the folds of his belt around the end of her hoover, and ran with it, being pelted with acid as he went. He hissed, but kept running.

"Not like that! I meant-" His partner whispered, and sighed as they weren't heard.

One mighty splash and his tail jumped off the hoover, a tinge of pink revealing as it curled reflexively. Catana howled slightly, ripping around and tackling the woman and pushing her under the arch, then stomped the acid spray-bottle into the ground.

"Care-ful!" His partner called suddenly, their voice breaking on the first as they tried to shout and their throat crackled from the dusty air. Catana sprang from the akumatised victims, his costume half soaked with bleach, soap and dust. His partner stood over his shoulder, coughing slightly, and pulled their trap closed around the victim.

"Your- belt-" They coughed, firmly stood behind him, with their hands on his shoulders. He twitched his tail on confusion, then spotted it was exposed, the colour hidden behind the wings of their cape. Un-Maid hissed and howled, swinging upside down under the arch de triomphe in a Yo-Yo string, but the red hero did not pay her any attention.

Catana looked suddenly small and scared, quickly unfirling his tail and wrapping it in the belt, a guilty look across his face as he grimaced apologetically at his partner. They didn't look at him, staring straight ahead.

"Oh, I see why you'd be worried - that pink thing? That's not a tail under my tail! You... caught me on the way to ballet! Under my suit, I'm wearing the prettiest pink skirt, with all these streamers, and-"

"Don't tell me that either." They sighed, vaulting over him to inspect the villain they'd caught.

Under his suit, Espio cringed at himself, watching his partner as they jabbed at the different instruments they shook off Un-Maid, searching for a filthy egg-laying Akuma. He also spotted the dustbunny she was conjuring above them.

"Cover your mouth!" He called as he redrew his staff and pole vaulted into the air to disspell the dust cloud. His partner complied instantly, but Un-Maid spotted it, and started spawning four more dustbunnys as she realised the red hero's weakness was showing.

She kicked dust from her free foot, and as they sheltered she loosened a hand and grabbed her hoover, reversing it to blow dust and sand about.

They tried to keep one arm covering their face, and despite Catana's best efforts started to look blue in the muzzle.

"You need a change of luck?" He offered, and although they tried to hold off for a minute more, started to wheeze, so Catana dashed away from them, skidding slightly in the soapy and dirty ground.

"You can't reach me up here!" he taunted Un-Maid as he ran up the wall. As ever, he was annoying enough to summon all attention, while his partner spun their Yo-yo over their head, weaving a charm into existence. He ducked and dodged, hanging upside-down on the ceiling and being careful to guard his tail.

The red hero on the ground caught a delicate red-and-black pincushion with needle in their hand. They sighed, thumbing the pointed black tip with their gloves. It wouldn't help them breathe, so what could this be used for? They had no time to think, as Catana was knocked off the top of the arch.

"Will you be okay, m'lady?" He asked mid swing for the villain. Under the arch gave him too much advantage, so Un-Maid tried to dart out, but he flicked his staff around to smack her back in.

The red hero assessed their opponent uncritically, with as little expectation as they could. She was - behind the dirt, grime and dust covering her - smartly dressed, with her hair once in a tidy bun, and a knee length dress with an apron. From said apron, she pulled all her weapons, big and small, so if they could just swipe the apron, they were sure they could find something deep in that pocket.

The red hero took their two long pony-tails and wrapped them around their face. The lady in them felt ridiculous, undignified, but the person who's quills they were couldn't care less about appearance.

"I need to get close." They said softly; "Stop her from going far."

As they spoke, Un-Maid attempted another escape from the arch, and Catana growled. He summoned dark energy in one paw that lit his eyes like fireflies and pulled his mouth taut in a terrifying cheshire grin.

"Cataclysm." He muttered, as his staff blocked one exit of the Arch, and he collapsed the other as his claw stroked the brick and it all rotted into rubble. He withdrew his hand before the ceiling above their heads fell down, disspelling the rest of the vicious spell. It kicked up dust and caused his partner to gasp, but he had just one exit to defend

They looped their yo-yo around a carving and twisted it around their ankle, as graceful as an acrobat on silks. They swooped out of the way as Catana distracted them, scampering around and howling dramatically with every hit.

On their first swing, they plucked the pin that rested in her hair as they passed her. She didn't notice, instead blasting Catana.

On their second swing, they deftly unpicked the knot tying her apron up. It dropped, and she grasped the ties, muttering as she sucked up the dust into her lungs, preparing to blast the red hero.

On their third swing, they were pelted with dusty breath, but they brushed right past her pocket, loosening a thread with the hairpin, so the whole contents spilled out.

Un-Maid squeaked, and tried to grasp the sprays, cloths, duster, hoover and water tank, but with burning lungs the red hero swung back, and swiped the only thing she should have been looking for: a slip of paper with her name on it. It glowed with dark purple energy, and the name on it had been scribbled out.

Un-Maid screamed and launched for her with more dusty breath, but Catana got there first, and smacked the other side of the Arch with the rest of his cataclysm, collapsing it around the two of them, as his partner was flung away on their wings.

"Catana!" They gasped, and that knocked the air out of them. They heaved in breaths as they landed on the rubble and started to dig, but the brickpile shifted slightly, groaning, and they refocussed.

They ripped the paper in two, and out unfurled a cursed butterfly with a bubbly stomach full of eggs. They shook it into the air, then caught it in their Yo-Yo, that opened with a snapper mouth and swallowed it. They swung it back to their hands, head spinning for lack of oxygen, but when they opened the Yo-Yo a pure white butterfly flittered out and away.

"Bye bye, butterfly..." They wheezed, inspecting the paper in their hand, then rushed to the rubble.

They threw stones away where they could see a black paw clawing out.

"Catana, what have you done..." They huffed, and their eyes sparked with tears from the pain in their throat. Catana's ring beeped as they pulled his arm, and they tapped their own earrings to feel for the bumps of beads in their earrings: 2/5, they had two minutes before they transformed back.

"But you can fix it, m'lady." He muttered, scratching at his head as he dragged himself out of the collapse. They sighed in relief and rolled their eyes.

"Be careful, would you?" They sighed, and scampered over the rubble to Un-Maid, who had been protected, they discovered, by Catana's staff that now held a large chunk of bricks over her head.

She snivelled and cried, no longer magical, but just an ordinary sheep woman in a broken Maids uniform.

The red hero knelt down to her, and took their needle and thread.

"I'm sorry for that." They whispered, and deftly stitched up her pocket; "I didn't mean to take away your dignity."

The maid sniffed and whimpered: "What have I done? I've ruined my life."

"No, you aren't to blame. I would be insulted too." They whispered, handing back her paycheck, docked so heavily that she would owe her employer money for missing one dusty corner and leaving a cloth on the side of the bath.

She snivelled and laughed softly, and the red hero smiled, still wheezing as they finished off the sewn edge.

As they stood their body shivered for lack of air, and Catana was at their shoulder to support them. The maid shuffled out of the way of the Arch, as the red hero threw their pincushion to the sky, where it dissolved into red ladybirds who descended to make the world right.

Where the monument was rebuilt, the two heroes found themselves atop of it, hidden from the world by the edges of the Arch.

Catana watched carefully as his partner held their chest and breathed deeply, leant forward to minimise pain.

"My friend has asthma. You should carry a pump." He said simply, leaning down too to check their face. They turned away.

"I do not. It's... my suit. The hero it embodies must share this problem."

"... Whatever you say m'lady. That was nice work. Always a pleasure to watch you in action!"

"... Good job Catana. See you soon, no doubt."

"Wait - but how did you use your charm?"

His partner squinted at the Maid being hounded by TV reporters who had sprung from the woodwork now that damage was not a risk.

"It was to let her feel dignified. If I couldn't give her some pride back, she would be at risk of re-akumatisation."

"So it was a Lucky Charm after all."

"They all are."

"Not exactly-" Catana started to say, but his ring beeped. "I just wanted to say; it's not luck. You're skilled. Nobody else thinks like you." He hurried up his words, as they tapped their heeled toe.

"So you say. The creator of this charm was an exceptional woman."

"M'lady, you're an exceptional woman."

"I am not an exceptional woman!" They barked suddenly, their voice gravelly and squeaky. For a moment, they didn't sound soft and dignified, but raspy and young, their throat crackly. Catana blinked, his heart thumping, as they regained their composure; "What I mean is, you don't know. We mustn't know our identities, it would make us vulnerable."

Catana gazed at them with eyes as wide as saucers. The hope they had that he hadn't noticed died, and they sighed, ready to swing away.

"Your secrets are always safe with me. I'd die before I betrayed you. And I know you'd never betray me." He said quickly, hand on their shoulder. Their white eyes in white irises hovered on his tail for a moment, and they nodded.

"I... know. Until next time, Catana."

"Goodbye... Have you settled on a name yet? I know you don't like Ladybug..." He emphasised the lady as he thought, his mind racing behind his eyes. They rolled their eyes, and returned to a whisper.

"No. I haven't. There's no need for anyone to refer to me."

"But how will I send my love letters to you? I'm sure they're just getting lost in the post, that's why you haven't replied!" He winked as he regained his pep. His partner rolled their eyes.

"Ladybug, Coccinelle, Red heroine. Any of those names the press gives me are fine for you, too." They sniffed slightly, and swung away.

"I wouldn't care if you weren't always ladylike." Catana called, but he didn't think they'd heard. His mind raced as he released his transformation and rebecame Espio. Back as a chameleon blended into the mended arch as he climbed down.

"She's not a lady? All this time, oh my god I've been driving her- him, them - to frustration!" He growled at the kwami who shot out of his ring, sniffing in his bag for cheese.

"What? No, you're wrong! She obviously just meant she's not fancy! The holder of the Ladybug Miraculous has always been a girl!" He rasped, and it reminded Espio of a new voice in his mind, and his heart ached.

"If you say so. It still doesn't matter." He said quietly to his knees, a small and tempered smile on his face.

"Sure it does! They seem all grumpy about it!"

Espio hummed quietly, and opened his bag.

"Can you eat while I walk: I agreed to meet Silver."

Plagg wolfed a wheel of cheese that had been carefully stashed in an airtight tupperware.

The grande and beautiful heroine of Paris launched herself into a bin faster than anyone could see, and out climbed a scruffy teenage hedgehog boy with greyish quills and a hacking cough. Silver opened his bag for his inhaler, and the red kwami of creation nestled in to eat biscuits.

"It'll be alright." She said softly in a voice as delicate as blossom. Silver puffed his inhaler and groaned.

"He's never gonna forget that." He wheezed. He clocked the odd stares he received and hurried on, chest still heaving.

"Slow down, Silver, no need to rush."

"Every need to rush! Espio said he'd be here, I hope he's okay! I didn't see him, but he's never late- oh shoot! I said I'd grab smoothies!" He floundered, but then spotted a pink figure studying the crowd of press around the arch, and squealed slightly.

"We have to go! I smell like a dustbin and I forgot what we came here for, and-"

"With respect, Silver, he's 'literally just a guy'. You're so much more than that."

Silver laughed to himself, attracting strange looks. Tikki, despite her fine graces and regality as the spirit of a fine heroine, had done her best to learn contemporary phrases to speak to Silver, who was already perpetually out of step with his time, too. He supposed they both compromised: day to day, Tikki tried to be a teenage boy's best friend, and when transformed he tried to be a classy genius queen, and walked in heels with the help of his weird telepathy quirk.

He stopped laughing and clasped his bag shut as Espio's eyes caught his, and he looked him up and down. His breath caught again.

"I'm sorry - I was gonna get the-"

"There was an Akuma attack here. I hope you stayed in cover." Espio said sharply, darting his eyes to the press. Silver nodded, his chest tight again.

"Yeah, talk about bad luck!"

"Not at all. The hero known as ladybug is always good luck." He sighed a little as he said it, his cheeks slightly pink, before he cast that thought aside; "Are you quite alright? We should go, it is quite dusty here."

Silver choked slightly, tugging his inhaler out his bag again. His throat stung, but his heart stung too seeing Espio excited by Ladybug. She was by any standards a beautiful woman, and the opposite of Silver, so he wished Espio didn't like her.

"She's just lucky too." He wheezed; "Lucky she gets to disappear off the scene while we get a crowd!" He laughed, following Espio with a slight skip. He couldn't believe his own luck that someone in the class above, who was also a detective apprentice, and secretly a ninja - if Silver had found the right anonymous blog - had made any time to see him at all. Silver didn't deserve to be his friend. It was greedy that he wanted to be more.

Espio looked around the recently mended pavements and hummed.

"No, they are incredible. Just think what they could do without all the trouble that comes with them." He gestured to the Arch and the earth. Silver grumbled something into his hoodie, then blushed as Espio fixed an eye on him.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I just said they're... she, I mean, she's really lucky she has Catana to do her dirty work. I mean, he gets all the flack for breaking stuff, but he wouldn't have to if she did her job right. And if he didn't take the blame for stuff, she'd be getting hounded like he is. Not like you guys would get that." He huffed.

Espio snorted. The investigation into the heroes true identity was certainly pointed more to Catana: he was considered far more dangerous and less controlled, and that worried his superiors immensely. It was also largely Espio's doing, as he was on the investigation team, and by focussing on Catana, he could be sure they were always on the wrong track. This way, he could protect his lady - or not-lady, as they preferred - from afar. They'd never know, of course. That was fine.

"What are you smilin' about?" Silver asked nervously, and Espio returned to the present: they were in the queue for smoothies, and Silver looked nervous for some reason. A lick of Plagg possessed him to tease.

"Are you infatuated with Catana?"

"What? Excuse me?"

"That isn't a no."

"Oh my god, no!" Silver squeaked indignantly, but Espio just took that as more evidence, so he had to dig further; "No, I just think she's overhyped!"

"Keep your treasonous thoughts to yourself."

"It's true! He seems like a cool and nice guy! But-not-like-that! Besides, he's a guy!"

"I'd have thought you of all people wouldn't hold that as important. You're always so progressive you're practically from the future."

Silver grinned slightly at that, but shook his head: "That's not what I meant! Let's not talk about Catana, he's just a cool guy. Besides... he likes ladybug."

Espio inclined his head, strangely tickled at what he thought he realised: "So I've heard. That would be a shame for anyone who liked him."

"... you guys wouldn't use that against him, would you? Try and get him to talk?" Silver hummed quietly. Espio grimaced: he knew Silver was one of the vocal objectors who hated the harrassing search for the heroes' true identities. He would tell anyone and everyone that it was feeding into Eggmoth's treachery, would put people in danger, distracted from the real enemy. Once again, he was at the bleeding edge, but Espio knew he was uncannily right. Still, it was awkward that his work seemed to be coming between their friendship.

He started to form an answer, but his phone rang.

"Espio! Lunch break is over, we've got a break for cracking Catana! Eye witness reports a curly tail!" Vector barked down the phone, just when they were one person away from the front of the queue.

"Apologies, I need to go." He mouthed to Silver. Silver opened and closed his mouth, swallowed, and spoke loudly enough for the chief detective to hear:

"I saw Catana there! He helped me get away from the dust! I saw his tail, I'll come with you!"

His heart pounded as he cringed at his own raspy voice. He assured himself he was doing it to protect Catana, but in his heart he knew it was to spend more time with Espio.

The chief on the end of the phone sighed.

"Is that your whackjob friend? Well, I guess you better bring him."

The line moved forward, and Silver ordered a smoothie as Espio hung up.

"Since I'm waiting for mine, you might as well order one too."

"I suppose I have no choice. You won't give mistruths to the state's investigation, will you Silver? Don't be political here, it may be held against you."

Silver sucked his teeth, then his straw: "Why would I lie? Not to protect Catana, that's for sure! And I totally saw it, his tail was... blue, and twisty, like a snake. Or it might have been black, cause ladybug's wings were in the way. It could have been a second belt, actually." He started rabbitting on, and Espio sighed in relief.

Tagging @espilver-week for archive purposes!

#i think this is my dumbest contribution #espilverweek2023 #espilver #silvespio #silver the hedgehog #espio the chameleon #sonic fanfic #ao3 #wonderincs #writincs #i'm not tagging mlb because although this is hard to understand if you're a sonic fan it's completely uninteresting to anyone into miraculo #s so I do not think they would appreciate the tag. also i left mlb behind when i got mad at thomas astruc's writing so i'm not really a fan #crossover #espilver week #espilver week 2023

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st0rmyskies · 1 year

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OH STORMY what if can i write. Colin visiting Twi at the townhouse, cause he still loves his big bro even if the Parents got Difficult. He sees Champion and is like “is your bf okay he’s acting completely different than last time (Wild)

and Twi has to like. Not Tell Colin that the bf got switched back to old life in a car accident which reawakened Champion like a sleeper cell of car gymnastics. And forgot they were boyfriends for A Few Months but it’s fine now. Cause not only How do you Explain that, but also it’s now federally protected info…..and also that his boyfriend is federally protected info.

Or are you okay with fics of Colin visiting the Townhouse (rest his soul when he walks in)

Anon, I want you to do whatever your little heart desires. I am literally okay with whatever whoever wants to write about the HSH AU. Maybe I should tell you a bit about Colin before your endeavor, though.

Colin is Twilight's younger brother by 7 years or so, putting him at 15-ish years of age at the time of The Brave. He's the quieter, smaller, more reserved brother who is shy around strangers and used to hide behind Twilight's leg as a kid. Where Twilight is always doing hard work around the farm when he's home, Colin's health (asthma and other chronic illnesses) prevents him from doing a whole lot of outdoor labor.

Colin ADORES his big brother Twi, and the feeling is mutual. Twilight only barely restrains himself from lifting Colin up every time he sees him, because he will forever be strong enough and Colin will forever be small enough to do so, but he supposes Colin's a bit old for that. Colin kind of misses it, honestly.

Colin isn't allowed to have a cell phone yet. When he is, though, he and Twi will probably be texting every day.

If Colin is aware that Champion is/was Twi's "boyfriend," it's not because Twilight's said so. Their parents absolutely would not be aware of this, either. But Colin can see how happy Twi was around Wild and put two-and-two together. For him to come out and suggest Twilight has a boyfriend, though, would be really weird for Twi.

Speaking of their parents, a bit of secondary tension in your story could be from the fact that they would never allow Colin to visit Twilight at their uncle's house, much less stay there. So how did Colin get there in the first place? I doubt their parents know he's there. Does Twilight realize his parents feel that way about Colin visiting? (I have suggestions, but I'm interested to see what you come up with.)

Wind knows Colin, of course, and they have an amicable relationship. Wind is an ass to everyone but Colin, because Twilight has never been anything but nice to Aryll.

Colin will absolutely be taken aback by the entire dysfunctional household. Sky and Hyrule would seem normal to him, Four normal-but-not-quite, Legend would be terrifying to him, Warriors would be overwhelming but when isn't he.

And Colin doesn't have the same relationship with Time that Twilight does, either. Time stopped coming to family functions before Colin was even born, so all he knows about his uncle is the negative things his parents have said. He's personally baffled at why Twilight would want to live with Time in the first place, and I imagine he'd be very quiet around Time. Can't imagine Time is going to feel good about that.

#stormy asks #hsh #townhouse au #lore drop ig #hsh colin #hsh twilight #st0rmyverse #hi sorry i went OFF

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pebiejeebies · 6 months

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Soo I wanna talk about my (possibly) chronic illness, because I’m so tired of this.

My reason to self diagnose: I have to self diagnose, my dad doesn’t believe in “disorders and disabilities (specifically ones like chronic illness, he normalized it in such a horrific way, it made me feel like I was an odd one out when I realized how healthy everyone else is)” *please don’t hate him, we don’t have money for much things anyways, it’s fine*

If you hate self diagnosis, just leave and spare both of us,

For now I wanna talk about what makes me feel like I have chronic illness, and that is literally being sick, I’ll be generally talking about everything painful/tiring that has been affecting me for over a year now..

TW: Mentions self harm/hate, gore, of gag/spit/vomit, dizziness, unease, etc. if you are sensitive to this topic please read at your own risk,,

Let’s start, so lately ive been accidentally swallowing mucus, all day, all night, to the point I have to breathe from my mouth, which COMPLETELY destroys my smell and taste. Especially when I get the common cold..

Barely any mucus comes from my nose, it’s almost ALWAYS my throat and saliva, to the point I started to think my saliva and mucus have been completely combined now. Like.. literally.

my breath always stinks, minty tastes really sucks and I hate toothpaste, I hate the mint and the texture, I’ve tried some things like these little bottles of meds for the cold, but they NEVER worked.

I almost always have a headache, my heartbeat has went from my normal 60/70bpm to 90/120 min/max.. and I always get voice changes, sometimes too deep, sometimes too high, and sometimes I lose my voice.

AND YOU KNOW WHATS FUNNY?! I LOVE SINGING. ITS LITERALLY MY SPECIALTY, MY ONLY TALENT THAT I CAN DO WITHOUT ABANDONING IT LIKE THE REST OF MY FAILED TALENTS, AND IT FUCKING SUCKS SO MUCH WHEN MY VOICE CHANGES.

I’m sorry.

back to my point, when I cry, I feel like my mucus explodes from everywhere, my throat, nose, eyes, and when I blow my nose too hard it hurts my ears for a while.

I’m so tired, I can barely run, I don’t wanna say I have asthma, but maybe I’m just not energetic and lazy.. or something.. and I CANT. I repeat.. I CANT. SLEEP.

It’s almost physically impossible (unless I stay up for too long to the point I slowly faint to sleep, which has been normal now for me)

did I mention my constipation? (Maybe this isn’t related, I’m just curious what makes someone chronically ill, especially since I’ve had constipation for around a year now)

I can’t sleep, smell, sing, cry (I hate crying so much, it’s become so terrifying and horrible) laugh, (cause all the mucus chokes me and makes me gag and almost vomit.

oh how I wish I could just rip out my throat and replace my nose and throat for a working one. How I wish I could breathe normally, to smell, to sing properly, to walk properly without my legs hurting or straining, to laugh and cry without choking and gagging, spitting mucus in the bathroom for what seems like 30 minutes, to think properly without a headache, to feel NORMAL again. It’s been a year or two now. Cant I just feel like a normal person again?

God why do I turn everything into a fucking vent.

Edit: does this mean I am chronically ill?

#I’m slowly losing myself #and my headache is killing me #you guys are the only people who can help #I’m so sick of myself #I don’t want to cry #chronic #chronic ill #chronically ill #chronic illness #chronic disability #chronic fatigue #chronic pain #Chronically fatigue #chronically in pain #vent #im tired

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harveyhawkscripts · 11 months

Text

[A4A] Yandere Picks You Up After an Asthma Attack [Yandere Speaker] [Romance?]

Synopsis: The listener calls their yandere partner after an asthma attack caused by cigarette smoke.

WARNINGS:Yandere themes, emotional manipulation, tobacco and smoking

About Yandere: A good pickpocket, strong, manipulative

Ellipses (...) are listener replies

Words: 1014

Google Doc

[Ringtone, beep]

YANDERE

Hello, my darling. How was class?

...

Darling? You sound… winded. Tell me what happened.

...

What?! Do you have your inhaler on you?

...

(Sigh) Oh, thank God. That’s good, at least.

...

I know I always check before you leave, but what if it fell out of your bag, or - or if someone took it?

...

You never know! Someone might want to steal an inhaler.

...

Well... Oh, I don't know! Anyway, don't change the subject. Do you know what triggered the attack?

…

What?! Isn't the campus supposed to be tobacco free? You know, how all campuses are?

...

(Sigh) Yeah, I guess you’re right.. Some people just don't care.

...

Did you have your mask on?

...

You were eating lunch? They interrupted the lunch I made you! Hmph. What did they look like?

...

Of course not, darling. You know how slow to anger I am. I just want to report their behavior so it doesn't happen again.

...

Don't worry yourself over it, darling, it's bad for your health. I'll take care of everything. You just stay inside and rest for now. Sit up and focus on your breathing, and keep your inhaler next to you. I'll be there to pick you up in just a few minutes.

...

Absolutely not! No offense, but you sound terrible. I'll email your professor so you can take the rest of the day off.

...

You can always access your assignments online. Just promise me you'll rest before you start to work on anything.

...

Good. Hold tight, darling. I'll be there soon.

[Time Skip]

[Car locking]

Finally. Alright, they should be in that first building. Hm, maybe I should text them just in case...

Huh. That smell... Oh. Well, how about that. Now I won't have to bother looking for them.

[Footsteps]

Excuse me? Smoking is prohibited on campus.

...

Look, I don't have time to argue. Put those out before I make you eat them.

...

Obviously it was a threat, you idiot!

...

Oh, the campus police? And what are they going to do?

...

(Laugh) And why would they kick me off campus? I have a student ID -- in fact, I have two! Yes, and your wallets, as well. And this pocket knife -- this isn't allowed on campus either, is it? It is nice, though. I think I'll keep it.

...

Oh, back off. You're obviously not very bright. There may be two of you, but I'm smarter and stronger than both of you dumbasses combined.

...Fine. Since you want to be difficult, let's make this quick. My darling is waiting for me. [Time Skip]

There you are, darling. Let me look at you. Oh, poor thing. You must be exhausted. Here, I brought you some water. Drink slowly, okay?

...

Hm? Oh, uh, there was traffic. Lots of traffic.

...

My lip? My lip! Right. I was chewing my lip, uh, when I hit a bump in the road.

...

Well, that's because --

[Cell Phone beep]

Oh, your professor emailed back!

...

Good news, he says you're exempt from this week's assignments.

...

Really. You're completely off the hook. Now, let's get you home. I have your nebulizer all set up for you. We can just cuddle and take it easy for the rest of the day, and we can watch whatever cartoon you want. How does that sound, darling?

...

Yes, of course I'll make you some tea! Peach and lemon ginger with Tupelo honey, I assume.

...

Heh, I thought you would want something sweet. Come on, darling. Let's head home.

[Time Skip]

There. All done, love. You did very well. Wait here while I get your tea.

...

I know you don't like nebulizer treatments, but it's to prevent you from having another attack.

...

Hm, I bet a snack will help you feel better. Here's your tea, darling. I also brought you a toasted pretzel bun and - boop! - Your hypoallergenic teddy. Now, are you nice and cozy?

...

Missing? D-did I forget something? Whatever you want, I'll --

...

Oh! Me!

(Chuckles) Of course, darling. Let me just snuggle up with you... There we go, all comfy. Are you feeling better now, love?

...

Good...

Darling, there's something I think we should talk about after today.

...

Yes, I think it would be best if you switched back to online classes.

...

But isn't it stressful to worry about your health and school? If you stay home you'll have me to take care of you. We could even put your desk next to mine.

…

Darling, you are way more important than my job. You know that. Besides, the main reason I work from home is so I can be there for you when you need me. Not to mention, I miss you when you're gone.

...

Oh, you don't need to stress over all that! I can arrange everything with your professors. It should be easy enough.

...

But you'll have everything you need here at home! Don't you? Don't I give you everything you need?

...

Please don't fight me on this, darling. It's for your health.

...

But it could happen again!

...

No, no. That's not how it works. I'm your partner so it's my job to take care of you.

…

Darling, please calm down. You could have another attack.

...

I know you just had a treatment, but you know how sensitive you are.

...

(Sigh) Oh, my love. I know you wanted to attend in person this year. You won't be cooped up here, though! We can do picnics at the bay, go to the bakery -- I'll even take you to the library for study sessions. How does that sound?

...

There, see? I knew you'd come around. Now, enough serious business. Let's watch cartoons and snuggle our worries away. Can I pet your head?

...

Aw, there you go. Now you're relaxing... That's it darling, you can fall asleep. Rest as long as you want. I'll be here when you wake up.

END

#script writing #writing #script #asmr scripts #a4a #yandere

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blu3pers · 2 years

Note

Okay how's this, can you write angst? Can you do (Huniepop) Tiffany, Audrey, Kyanna and Beli with an s/o who gets diagnosed with terminal illness?

Back from a long day, I try not to write angst since I have to be in a certain down mood for me to do it. Plus this hit a personal subject for me. Since I don't exactly want to turn down another request, I'll change it up a bit! Hopefully, this is fine.

How they are with a s/o with a disability

Tiffany Maye (Hard of hearing)

If we're going back to the first game, she wants to be a nurse, meaning she won't mind at all

Whether you can slightly hear or not, Tiffany will study a bit of sign language in order to better communicate, as she believes that communication is the key to all relationships

Subconsciously, she won't ever forget so she would always let you know in some way, shape, or form. She sees you in the distance? Then she'll walk up to you and poke your shoulder rather than call out your name (Unless you're the kind that could hear or have hearing aids)

Overall, she adapts to you pretty well and won't treat completely different

Audrey Belrose (Asthma)

(This is something I could get behind as I grew up with asthma myself and this is also a part two maybe)

It sort of depends on your character but since we're adding more to the previous ask, she makes it a priority to smoke less around you

She gets advice from Tiffany and takes it seriously, memorizing your triggers and how severe yours is specifically (I know my dad needed meds for his but mine wasn't too serious so I never needed them)

Unlike most people, Audrey won't baby you because not only does she wanna test your limits but also because you should be able to take care of yourself

She won't drastically change her living style for you, but she will try and that's what matters!

Kyanna Delrio (Arthritis)

Another thing based on experience, I'm not an expert but this is based on what I've learned from my dad’s own knee pains.

Here's the situation; you're at a park, minding your business, when a little toddler strolls up to you on the bench to curiously look at you. You're fresh out of surgery for your tendon so you can't exactly go looking for his mother without help. Instead, you begin talking with him... or at least pretending to. You don't exactly understand toddlers. That's how you meet Kyanna and how you became Philip's third favorite person, behind his mom and Tiffany.

Eventually, you begin to walk without the crutches and try to get back on your own feet. Of course, this is very hard to do at first but Kyanna provides a very strong support network with her family.

She’ll do light exercises with you to help keep that joint decent, but Kyanna won’t push you super much (This is an actual thing I do because severe arthritis runs in the family)

There will be times where Philip will go over line, like accidentally kicking your knee cap when he climbs, but Kyanna is always there to comfort you until the pain is gone :)

Beli Lapran (Visually impaired)

(I can’t write from a blind person’s perspective but hopefully this’ll work.)

This is a similar case with Tiffany where some factors kind vary. Like if you’re sensitive to light, she doesn’t mind using softer lights in the studio or apartment so you don’t strain your eyes. If you choose to use a cane, she makes sure to stay on your other side so you don’t accidentally hit her.

She’s not a loud person so if you’re one of those people who navigate fine in crowds, great! If not, Beli doesn’t mind quiet dates on the beach.

She does feel a deeper connection with you as she does know that you aren’t with her for looks, so she feels like she could be more comfortable talking with you.

Honestly, there will be times where she will accidentally coddle you. It’s up to you if you decide to tell her off or not. If there are ground rules, then Beli will make sure to respect your space! After all, if you’re confident enough to help yourself, then she should be too!

#huniepop #huniepop x reader #huniepop audrey #audrey belrose #audrey belrose x reader #huniepop tiffany #Tiffany maye #tiffany maye x reader #huniepop kyanna #Kyanna delrio #Kyanna delrio x reader #huniepop beli #beli lapran #beli lapran x reader #blueberry ink

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kyred · 1 year

Note

Is there any drawbacks of his gaining? As in mobility or eating issues?

Right, so I’m gonna assume you mean him as in my sona. And I’ll answer to the best of my ability, mixing in both rl and sona issues for this q.

Tldr he’s me but as a dog. I try to draw him similar to irl me, though sometimes the tubbiness is a bit exaggerated. And yes he does get some issues from gaining, both to his mobility and such.

So since he’s me irl, his base size is meant to reflect me plus like 50 or so pounds. At around 380-400. I figure he still has issues with stairs, though like irl, it could be the asthma. A single flight would leave him ready to rest and eat. That exercise sure builds up an appetite, let’s be honest! But honestly, no real issues. Like me, he’s relatively fine getting around, growing up with girth as is.

His appetite is definitely in that concerning range, but mostly because he’s always hungry to snack. Large meals can only go so far in gaining when you struggle with capacity, after all.

At larger sizes, he definitely has issues getting around.

His gut bumps into people before he himself would, clothes are definitely fighting for their lives with the gut he can’t keep under control, and don’t get me started on his increasing frequency to order food in. He probably gets the same delivery guy with how he barely finishes an order before ordering more.

Mobility: down. Walking is more effort than it’s worth. Grocery deliveries and food apps are his world. Public transit is hard to deal with, getting even a single seat is hard as is, let alone the fact he’s spilling into his third. Some would stop or even go back but, his gut is the one in charge after all.

Appetite: extra concerning, eats a family meal alone now to even feel somewhat full these days. Still prefers grazing compared to stuffing because he just doesn’t realize how fast he eats a bag of chips while watching vids.

Sizes further beyond, well, mobility is almost completely dependent of friends and partners, and his appetite is so out of control, if he isn’t stuffed he’s perpetually whining over how hungry he feels. Unless someone reels him in, he probably will find himself stuck at home before he knows it. Not his fault, cause what can you do when your gut is the one in charge? Just sit down on the sofa and order in again. And again. And again..

Wait what was the question again? Oh yeah drawbacks. Yeah, his control is bad as is, and gaining on top of that, well. That kinda made it vanish entirely. Though if he enjoys it, is it really a drawback?

#kyred an #kyred rambles #fat fur #weight gain #i am honestly not sure if i answered the question but i had fun doing this tbh #and yeah no #the dog's base size will end up larger over time as a fun little thing to notice

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genderfluidgothwitch · 2 years

Text

And a Giant What The Fuck to You Too

You really want to know why we aren't close anymore? You really have "no idea" why I decided to completely cut you out?

Maybe it's because in the entire year you lived with me, you were completely disrespectful of me and my family. We asked very little if you and you still managed to be a cunt every waking minute. And somehow, sometimes when you were asleep!

Maybe it's because I walked into MY room after working 8.5 hour shifts to find a mess of food wrappers and garbage from you lounging around all day. Maybe it's because you never bothered to even try to buy groceries once in a while. Maybe it's because you were living paycheck to paycheck by choice because you were addicted to the laziness of ordering food.

Maybe it's because I set one SINGLE boundary in my space. All I asked was that you left my desk alone. It's my desk, and it's the only thing I'll have to call my own until you move out. And yet, despite you assuring me that you were fine with that, I found you on your computer at MY desk, sitting in MY chair, eating ramen right next to my arts and crafts supplies.

Maybe it's because I lost all access to my bed because the only way we could fit your furniture and mine was to put our beds in an L shape, and you somehow got the better end of that deal. Don't know how the fuck you managed that.

Maybe it's because you told me that you didn't mind bringing the dishes upstairs, especially after I had a bad pain day, and somehow there was still a giant collection of dishes growing god knows what in my room. Maybe it's because every time we tried to tackle the dishes, you found the easy way out. I cleaned them out, soaked them in vinegar, and brought them upstairs. I even put them in hot water and dish soap up there for you. And what was your contribution? You loaded them into the dishwasher. Not even well, I might add. My mother even offered to show you how to load our dishwasher, and you ignored that.

Maybe it's because you have the worst hygiene habits I've ever seen. No one I know showers less than you do. Some people can get away with that, showering slightly less frequently because they actually take care of the basics like changing their underwear, wearing deodorant that actually works for them, and in general just trying not to stink like rancid piss. I don't even know how you managed to smell that bad, because I feel like it almost takes effort to smell like you just walked out of a landfill. My room perpetually stank because of you. Candles, incense, opening all the windows, nothing helped. I don't know if you realize this, and if you do maybe I don't care, but several times I had to spray your entire bed with half a bottle of febreze just to keep from gagging. In MY OWN ROOM! And the worst part is? It didn't work!

Maybe it's because you never bothered to check my work schedule which was very clearly put on the family calendar. Maybe it's because there were times I walked into my room after shifts and found you masturbating, or your sex toys scattered on your bed. Of course, you never bothered to clean those up either. The worst part of that? There were times where stuff of mine that I let you use was on your bed, right next to your goddamn vibrator and dildos. I don't give a flying fuck what you do when you're entirely alone, but for fucks sake, put that shit away when you're done. I don't need to know that shit.

Maybe it's because you couldn't even try to reduce your cigarette habits. You went through a pack every other day. You would have several at work, and come home to smoke even more. Sure, you walked away from the property, but you always came home reeking of smoke. That, coupled with your body odor, lead to some horrific smells. Not to mention you would smoke a cigarette immediately before getting in the car with my mother, who had asked you multiple times not to do that, because she has asthma and it's not fair to her to be in an enclosed space with that. She was kind enough to pick you up from work, which, by the way, is a job I got for you, when our schedules didn't match up, and you disrespected her? The woman who agreed to house you when your own mother ripped your living accommodations out from underneath you and left you with barely a months notice?

Maybe it's because you're an addict. I am too, but at least I try to be functional. Meanwhile, you managed to hardly ever pay for weed, and I was very generous with mine, which I need for medical reasons. Without you, it takes me at least two weeks to go through a gram cart, usually more. With you, we were lucky to get a week out of it. At several points you would take my pen, just because. I found it on your night stand when I know for a fact it had been on my bed before I left for work. When I was having what I needed to not feel pain, you would hold your hand out for it, not even asking, demanding I hand it over. The pen I bought with my own money, the weed I bought and had connections for. And you knew, you fucking knew, I would never say no.

Maybe it's because you had my mother keep track of your finances. You needed to save money, so you handed her a 50 dollar bill every week and told her to keep track of it for you. You were 24 years old and using someone else's mother to keep track of something you should have had the capability of doing yourself. How hard is it to get a shoebox, a jar, anything really, and putting a bill in it once a week?

Maybe it's because you just flat out didn't care. You said you were going to make your life better while you were here. You knew it was a temporary thing, but you were determined to use this opportunity where you had free room and board for a year to save money, get your license, get a car, get more work. Not a single thing you swore to do happened. You kept putting off getting driving lessons. I even offered to teach you how to drive, if you just got your permit and paid for the drug and alcohol course mandated by the state. You always managed to find an excuse for why you couldn't do it. You wanted to get your name legally changed first, your stepfather agreed to pay for it and he hasn't yet, this weeks paycheck wasn't big enough so you can't save as much this week for it. You went out of your way to keep your life the exact same, with other people taking care of all of your basic needs and not helping them or yourself in any meaningful way.

Maybe it's because I felt like I never had any alone time anymore. You were in my home, my room. You were at my job, where I couldn't show any favoritism towards you. Believe me, that was easier than you'd think. Especially towards the end, where every day I felt choked by your pervasive presence in my life. The only escape I had was going to my fiancés house once a week.

MAYBE ITS BECAUSE YOU TRIED TO STEAL MY HAPPY RELATIONSHIP! MAYBE ITS BECAUSE YOU WERE SO ENAMORED WITH THE IDEA OF BEING TAKEN CARE OF FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, THAT YOU WORMED YOUR WAY INTO MY RELATIONSHIP WITH THE BEST MAN I HAVE EVER MET. MAYBE ITS BECAUSE YOU DECIDED THAT HE WAS YOUR BISEXUAL REAWAKENING AND YOU WEREN'T ACTUALLY GAY, YOU LIKED MEN TOO. MAYBE ITS BECAUSE YOU FOUND A WAY TO SLEEP WITH HIM. MAYBE ITS BECAUSE, DESPITE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND I HAVING AN OPEN AMD POLYAMOROUS RELATIONSHIP, IT WENT FROM ME HAVING YOU AND HIM TO HIM HAVING YOU AND ME, WHEN HE WAS MINE FIRST. MAYBE ITS BECAUSE YOU MANAGED TO BE A ROYAL CUNT TO HIM, HIS MOTHER, HIS CATS, AND HIS HOME, JUST THE SAME WAY YOU WERE TO ME AND MINE.

Maybe it's because as generous as I was with my money, my time, my energy, my personal belongings, my space, you never returned that. I bought you groceries and snacks. Where are mine? I never asked for a cent of gas money. You never offered to help, even when the prices were rising. I took you with me to craft stores, thrift stores, Walmart, and even your own errands. I always bought the coffee to fuel our trips. We didn't ever stay close to home either. We would drive 45 minutes or more on the regular, just to explore. I got the satisfaction of wandering and going to places I loved, and you got the satisfaction of going out with someone who you knew would take care of you. God I wish I hadn't.

I wish I hadn't taken care of you. I wish I hadn't offered my home to you. I wish I hadn't sacrificed my sanity, my peace of mind, my time, my money, my resources, my everything, to someone who didn't care. To you. I don't regret the years leading up to this. But I do wish I had seen the red flags. The red flags, which until I took off my rose tinted glasses, were invisible to me. Everything a shade of pink, everything romanticized and bathed in the glow of love. It wasn't love, though, what you returned to me.

You want to know why? There is is, in black and white. No more red, no shades of grey. And a giant what the fuck to you too. May you get what you deserve.

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ejaydoeshisbest · 3 months

Text

I left my grandmother by herself at Jollibee.

For the past three to four nights, I could not sleep well. I thought at first it was just the cold. It's always cold in the Philippines from December to January. Sometimes until late February. But yesterday, it felt like I wanted to drop on the floor before the sun had even set. I couldn't regulate my emotions well by late afternoon. I thought that by sleeping early, say 8PM, I could wake up at 4 AM or 5 AM. But nope, I'm waking up to little sleep. Woke up at 2:45 AM. Maybe it isn’t the cold, but the jitters that I know that I should be working diligently by now? My good side, my mind, is shutting down my lazy bones and telling my system to work because I needed to pay back my aunties when they sent me for my medical treatments. Even though my aunts told me that I don't owe them any debt. My mind is also reminding me that my own parents are old but still working. "What’s your excuse?" it says to me. It reminds me that all my friends and most of my cousins are working and sacrificing and building their own futures and making their dreams happen while I remain useless. It hurts, too, that I can't reach out and talk to them about my problems because that would be a dick move. It reminds me that as each day passes, all of them are moving to brighter, greener places while I remain stuck. It would be nice if I could just fix my life with the sudden thought that made me finally jump out of bed: “Well, what if you did your best, Ejay? You haven't actually given it your all. Work without complaints. Only feel gratitude.” It would be nice if all that needed to be done was to think, always, that if my old parents can do it, that if my own younger sister can function and achieve high grades in Physics and Maths with little sleep, so too can I. Even with breathing struggles.

___

The morning started out fine, but then rapidly fell. I must have overexerted myself. I was walking around the neighborhood, trying to achieve consistency. I was thinking that I really needed to get stronger, and I was proud of myself for completing my route. I thought actually that it was getting easier. But then Lola and I planned to go to Jollibee for breakfast and I thought, yes, a fun adventure. That would be nice. But when we were in the senior citizen's line, I suddenly could not breathe again. It was like my chest was being crushed by an elephant. I was trying to calm myself, but every breath constricted my throat and I felt that I wasn’t getting enough air. I was panicking because I left my inhaler at home, though before this point, I was convincing myself that my breathing struggles were just because of anxiety. I had to leave my grandmother at the cashier to go out and breathe and calm myself down. I had to convince myself that I was not in any real danger and that my mind was making me believe in my worst fear. I calmed myself down enough to go back. But as soon as I sat down with my grandmother, my fears gripped me again and I was sure that this was not anxiety, but asthma. It felt like I was breathing through a straw. It felt like that first time when I went to the emergency room. Maybe I overexerted myself again, just like last time. I really tried to stay with my grandmother and have breakfast with her, but without my inhaler near me to convince me I was fine, my mind freaked out and I could not reign it in. I was wrestling with the suffocating fear. I wasn’t sure if my breathing was because I was having an anxiety attack or an asthma attack. Each breath was painful, and I tried focusing on the people, but now my mind was screaming at me to go either to the emergency room or back to the house. Fearing the payment for an emergency room in Angono, Rizal, I special-fared my ass back home. I miss my aunties. When they were with me, I felt calm. We would go near stores and have a great time. I told my grandmother to stay put as I went home to grab my medicines. I told her to wait for me. When I arrived, I took one puff of the inhaler and called my aunties to tell them where I left Lola. I apologized to them for being an unreliable weak caretaker. Thankfully, a relative picked her up from where I left her and took her home safely.

___

After, I took a shower and a nap. When I woke up, I could breathe better. Which further confuses me as to whether this was asthma or anxiety. Or asthma-induced anxiety. Maybe I should really stop listening to my anxiety and proactively calm it down. I realized that maybe I could have kept my cool and let it flow through me if I did not listen to its threats. I know that it is hard to do, since my body immediately goes to this fight-or-flight response. Even now as I stand under my grandmother's tin roof, I am terrified that I might collapse because maybe I could not stand the afternoon heat. As I am typing this and recounting many less-than-ideal moments, I already feel anxious. So I know that I have to face my fears head-on because if not, I'm afraid that almost everything would be a trigger: Our furbaby, the heat, the cold, people, etc. I need to counter this. I wish I could fall back to the mindset and body I had in college. Strong. Independent. Brave. Curious. I don't want my anxiety to ruin the rest of my life. I don't want to waste it. I want to taste sugar and other foods again. I want to travel.

___

Auntie C and I shared a similar insight: I need to identify the root cause of all my stress and anxiety. I think it's primarily because I still lack a job coupled with my old age. I wish I could just switch my mindset from fearing things to believing that life is such a fun adventure. Not overthinking and managing daily stressors. Maybe I believe that I am in a bad place, like a cornered animal, instead of believing that I can change my future and have my life back. I must learn how to rebuild myself.

___

That night, some of the relatives from my mother's side came to our house. I saw my siblings again, and my mother's sister. An aunt I was not particularly fond of. I'll call her Tita L. But even though I wasn't fond of her, I apologized for my rude behavior. I snubbed her at our last encounter. I told her that I was angry at almost everyone back then. Which was partly true. I couldn't very well say that I hated my mother's side of the family because they bullied me since childhood and made me feel like I was at fault for not adjusting. Yes, I am sensitive, but they're also rowdy as hell. We hugged and she told me it was all right.

But the best part of it all was, I suddenly found that I could finally breathe. Like a miracle. I was taking quick breaths, sure, but my throat wasn't as constricted as before. I would like to say that perhaps social interaction was all it took and that this was all just a made-up thing in my mind after all, but I wasn't sure. It happened when I started to feel the familiar start of anxiety as I saw all these people running around and talking inside our house, but then I SQUASHED IT DOWN HARD and focused on the people around me, thinking adamantly that I WILL NOT HAVE A PANIC ATTACK OR BE ANXIOUS IN FRONT OF THEM. Then, just like that, I didn’t. Hopefully, this trick will work in the future.

Apologized din to my sister, repeating all the words I said to my parents. I am sorry that I haven’t contributed as much to the family, and sorry that I haven’t contributed to her tuition. Sorry for bickering and fighting. And I am so, so proud of her that she has high grades and that she deserved it. She didn’t get as much sleep and watch entertainment for that. I told her that her best friend, who has been such a good influence on her, is always welcome at our house.

#panic #anxiety #loneliness #apology #family #strnegth #courage #perseverance #mental health

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phawareglobal · 1 year

Text

Becky Mack - phaware® interview 396

In this episode, pulmonary hypertension patient, Becky Mack discusses navigating her rare disease diagnosis right after losing her husband to cancer. She also shares her story of adoption and motherhood. My name's Becky Mack, and I live in San Diego. I am a pulmonary arterial hypertension patient. My entire life I've had difficulty and had trouble breathing. I’ve always had lung things, but was never really diagnosed with anything. As I got older it got worse. I was, as is common with pulmonary hypertension patients, misdiagnosed with them all; asthma, bronchitis, COPD. Go down the list, I had them all. Doctors gave me pills and they gave treatments and they gave me all kinds of stuff, and none of it really helped. Then my husband got sick. He got cancer, unfortunately, and he died. I went to my cardiologist for my yearly checkup, because I had… as part of my story we now know, I had a mitral valve replacement 22 years ago. The only thing they could tell me at the time was that my mitral valve had been fused and blown or wrecked from rheumatic fever as a child. We checked with everybody in the family. Nobody remembers me having rheumatic fever. My oldest sister said, "No. If you had anything and anybody had said those words or if you would've been in the hospital, I would know. You did not." Okay, so whatever it was, I evidently had something. I had bad strep throat. It was probably a cousin of rheumatic fever. Whatever it was, it blew my mitral valve. Life goes on. Years later, I grow up, and I start having difficulty. I went to a doctor, blah blah blah, and he diagnosed me with a blown mitral valve. So we replaced it. I got mechanical valve 22 years ago, and life was good. Then the breathing trouble started. It got a little worse. It got a little worse, and life went on. My husband got sick. After he died, I went for my checkup about two months later. As I'm getting my sonogram, the technician said, "Oh, stay right here, I'll go get the doctor." That's always your clue that something's wrong. She comes back in and says, "The doctor would like to see you in his office." I said, "Oh my gosh, it's got to be bad news." I went into the doctor's office and he looked at it and he said, "I see something wrong. I'm not real sure what it is. I would like for you to see a pulmonologist. I'm going to send you to a colleague who's two offices down." I marched my little rear end two offices down right then and there. He wanted me to do it right away. I went into his office and he listened to my lungs, and he said, "Well, those are the clearest lungs I've heard all day. I don't hear any wheezing. I don't hear anything." He said, "But I suspect something. I'm going to send you to a colleague of mine at UCSD." I said, "Okay." He said, "Let me make a phone call." Then he said, "Okay, next Tuesday morning, 7:00 AM, show up at UCSD, blah blah blah, do this, that, and the other." So I did. I had my number two son with me. The doctor was going to give me a right heart catheterization. I had never had one. I didn't know what they were. As everybody now knows, when you have a right heart catheterization, they don't put you completely out. Therefore, my son was able to be in the room. So I'm laying on the table and the doctor's got the little scope and his little camera, and he's putting it down and he's barking orders, telling everybody what to do. Everything's going along fine. My son is standing in the corner. He's observing everything. I'm aware of what's going on. The doctor gets all the way down, takes all the pictures he wants to, and says, "Just as I suspected, she has pulmonary hypertension." Without skipping a beat, he turns to my son and says, "Don't google it." In the meantime, my son's on his phone googling it. His eyes get big. I had no idea. Six hours later, I was in the pulmonary hypertension center at UCSD diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension, getting fitted for a subcutaneous pump. That was seven years ago. That was in a new reality. I was absolutely, totally blown away. Here I was, alone. It was the most unreal time in my life, because everything had happened so quickly. I was still very much grieving the loss of my husband. I get him buried and it's like, okay, now it's time to focus on me, and then boom, this. Now I've got this life-threatening illness, and I have to deal with that. It was scary as all heck, because I no longer had my partner to lean on. I had to do it by myself. I had no choice. My kids are, at that point, 28, 29, and 30. They all stepped up and did what they could as they knew how, in their grieving of just having lost their father. So it was tough on all of us. They all just kind of took turns getting me to the doctor. It was tough on everybody, because not only were they grieving the loss of their father, now they've got a mom who's sick, who's got this weird thing going on, and all this medical equipment she's got to use. She's got to be hauled all over town to doctors. It was a really, really, really rough time. People say, "Oh, you're so strong, you're so strong, you do this, that, and the other." There's no choice. I have no choice but to step up and do what needs to be done. I got to do it myself. So I do. I don't like it, but there's no other options. My choice is to stay as healthy as I can for as long as I can, continue to do as much as I can for as long as I can, and advocate for my own health. So you just do it. Now, I have my days of depression, but most of the time it's okay. It's either that or, I don't know what, curl up and not get out of bed. I don't want to do that. I'm stubborn. I'm not ready to die. The support of the few people that I have met through support groups really is what kept me going, because in the beginning I didn't know anybody. It's such a rare disease that you don't meet people in the supermarket that say, "Oh, yeah, my nephew's got pulmonary hypertension. Oh, yeah, my great-aunt had PH!" Nobody's ever heard of it. It's like, okay, I have to find something. I have to find my people. I was lucky enough to do that through UCSD. They connected me with the San Diego Pulmonary Hypertension Support Group, Pulmonary Hypertension Association, and Facebook groups. Sandy Lombardi was marvelous for doing that. When there was something going on that I could go to, I go, because I crave being around other people, because nobody's ever heard of it. My husband and I got married in 1980 and children were always on the plan. A couple of years later, okay, it's time, We're preparing to have kids, and I can't get pregnant. We wait six months. Then we start the infertility treatment. Nothing is working. We were both checked out. They didn't see anything major. We tried everything, spent every single dime we had. Any money we had saved for a house all went into infertility treatment. About six years later, I had a fellow at work who just kind of looked at me just out of nowhere and says, "Well, what's most important? Do you want to be a parent or do you want to be pregnant?" For some reason that just clicked, and it's like, I want to be a parent. So then it was like, okay, okay, adoption's our next option. We talked and we thought about that. Then we started the adoption process. We fostered for a while. What was important to me, and I know it sounds selfish, but what was important to both my husband and I was that we had a child that looks like we could've given birth to him or her. We applied to many, many, many agencies. I started at A and we went all the way through. We found Vista Del Mar Childcare Services in LA. They were just like a perfect fit. I remember they said, "Okay, come to an orientation meeting." So my husband and I dutifully went down there. We walked in and this fellow's up there, and there's this whole roomful of people. He looked at us all and said, "Congratulations, you're all about to be parents." I just started to cry. Everybody in that room did. It's like, wow, somebody here's offering me hope. We stuck with their program. It took us about two years, and we were blessed enough to be matched. We adopted a baby boy. We brought him home from the hospital, and life went on, and it was good. When he was five years old, it's like, okay, we'd like to do this again. By that time we had moved to San Diego and had looked into adoption here in San Diego. Then I got to thinking, you know what? I am 40 years old. I am not so sure I want to do that infant business again. Well, God had other plans, because my next door neighbor, who was a minister of a church, said, "Oh, I know two little boys who need a place to stay just temporarily, and I know that you guys have room." We said, "Sure, we'll take them in." So we did. They were in the foster care system. We were already licensed as foster parents. Rory and Ryan were six and seven at the time. And they stayed, and that's a whole other story I won't get into. A year, 18 months later, we had a conversation and a social worker had the conversation. "Okay, obviously there's no reunification. How do you guys feel about adopting them?" We said, "We're in." So life goes on. It took us another year, and we adopted Rory and Ryan. Now, all of a sudden, I have three boys, five, six, and seven. It was like, okay, we're done. I got three boys. Pulmonary hypertension and pregnancy do not mix. I'm thinking that this was going on, and I'm thankful that that's the case, why I could never get pregnant. It would've killed me. You know, what is is, and there's no way I could ever know that, but it worked out. That's how we became parents. That’s how it fits in with my pulmonary hypertension story. Had I been pregnant, it might've killed me. If I had to give advice to a newly diagnosed patient, I'd have to say, "Imagine if you were planning a vacation to Holland, and you had read everything there was to know about Holland. You'd seen pictures of all the flowers. You knew exactly what you were going to do in Holland, what you were going to see. How life was going to be. You got on the airplane to go to Holland, and the plane landed and you got off, and you're in Italy. Now what? Okay, you enjoy your time in Italy. You learn how to love Italy. You just do whatever it takes. You planned on going to Holland, but you ended up in Italy, so here we are." My name is Becky Mack, and I'm aware that I'm rare. Learn more about pulmonary hypertension trials at www.phaware.global/clinicaltrials. Follow us on social @phaware Engage for a cure: www.phaware.global/donate #phaware Share your story: [email protected]

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