#otherwise also renewed my offers if you are interested

[artharakka]

🔥🌿 Commission for @ mle.samson on instagram 🌿🔥

#commission #ttrpg #tiefling #this is one of the last few swordtember commissions I've taken (two more in queue) #but I've been making them bit slower since they were a bit cheaper so I've been only doing them inbetween other commissions #BUt now I added this kind of commission option to my commission info so you can hop onto my regular waitlist and have this delivered to you #otherwise also renewed my offers if you are interested #anyway thanks to to the commissioner 🧡🔥 loved doing this!

[itsthatmff]

Hello everything is fine? If requests are still open, can I request opm Garou, Saitama and Sonic with a partner capable of healing any serious injury and renewing their vital energy?

So interesting. It was my first time writing for sonic so don’t go too harsh on me 😞. And yes everything is fine! Just school stressing me out lmao. But I hope you enjoy!

Having an S/O who can heal wounds

Gn!reader

Included: Garou, Saitama, Sonic

Requests are open !!

Garou

It was in that shack where you and your friends often came to hang out because it was an unused and empty place in the middle of the forest that you found that white haired man resting after a long and tough fight.

It couldn’t even be considered resting the way he looked. Blood dripping down his body like water. Of course you immediately tended to him without thinking twice.

You were a B-class hero. Downplayed to the support role, a mere healer. People - especially the association did not see the potential in you. It always bothered you but in this situation you were lucky. God knows what Garou would have done if he had seen your name in the Heroes lexicon instead of just skipping the Pages with the B-class ranked heroes.

One instance lead to the other and it became the norm healing him up whenever he got injured. You developed a weak spot for him. The way he sat on the dust filled couch with his legs spread and his head leaned back. Always making snarky remarks. And always being shirtless.

“It’s great I have ya. Got my own private hopsital.”

“You good? Stop starin at my abs and heal them damnit..”

And of course he has a soft spot for you. May not show it but he cares for you in his own way.

It was when he began coming over for the most useless reasons that you realized he had a crush on you.

Like for instance before or in the middle of fights he’d come looking for you asking you to renew his energy. But after a while he came over every second day with the excuse that “What if I get into a fight?? I need all my power ya know.”

Once you start dating he eventually finds out about you being a hero. Doesn’t really care about it. He is just as upset with you that no one acknowledges your true powers and asks you if you want to join him on his hero hunting but you refuse.

That does not affect your relationship though.

Will lay on you as he lets you heal him. Is real snuggly. Will also groan extra loud to get you all flustered though.

Saitama

(Does this guy even get inured???)

After some research I’ve come to the conclusion that this guy has never gotten severely injured. He does feel pain but it barely hurts.

He does get some tiny scratches from time to time though.

Those if course you heal as his partner. He insists that he doesn’t need it but secretly loves the care you provide him.

When out on Monster battles you two are the best duo to see. While he takes care of the Monsters you take care of any citizens in the area.

He admires you so much and thinks you’re like the backbone of the heroes association because in the end you’re the one who contributes to the citizens and the heroes health.

If anyone dares to say otherwise they’ll have a problem with him.

Let’s you play support in video games because you’re “made for it”

What he does love getting from you are massages though. Your massages are magical because due to your healing and energy renewing powers they make one feel refreshed.

He’ll ask for one whenever he gets the chance.

“A massage’s always good. I can seriously start to feel the back and shoulder pain at my mid-20’s.”

Sonic

At first he’s very reluctant over getting treated by you.

The chairman he works for offered him a personal assistant/nurse. Which was you of course.

This guy knows no shame. Literally strips himself naked in front of you so you could inspect “all his wounds clearly.” It takes you some bickering around for him to put his clothes back on.

Also this guy CANNOT SIT STILL FOR A SINGLE MINUTE. always has to hop on from one place to another with his super speed. It’s just more ‘comfortable’. You literally have to cuff him down sometimes for him to sit still.

And will not stop talking during the treatments. Talking about being the fastest, avenging saitama and whatsoever.

It’s like a therapy and treatment session all at once.

Once you both start dating he gets so comfortable. Will enter the room and lay on you without saying a word expecting you to treat him.

Will justify the injuries he’s gotten like it’s his job.

“Ah that one..you see there was this frick of a cyborg who did not know when to quit. He chopped my hair off too..can you believe it?!”

“See but i’m still stronger than him though. Next time I’ll bring you his head as a souvenir.”

#one punch man #headcanons #garou #garou opm #garou x reader #opm headcanons #opm x reader #garou x y/n #garou the hero hunter #garou headcanons #one punch man x reader #one punch man garou #saitama x reader #saitama opm #saitama one punch man #saitama #speed o sound sonic #speed o sound sonic x reader

[jessaerys]

your fav mello/near fics??? thank yeww (also love your drawings!)

oohh this reminds me i should pick up my ff.net archival reclist project up again...

it is of note that it's been a looooong while since i've combed the archives and there's a couple of common tropes i don't usually read due to personal taste, so i'm sure there's a lot of good fic i'm unaware of and/or forgetting about! this has totally renewed my interest in making a comprehensive personal reclist >:) perhaps i'll come back and edit this post every now and then.

i owe comments to nearly everyone mentioned here i am SO sorry. it's a lost skill that i am working on developing again. at the very least i've got everyone in one place so i can go down the list this year. i encourage everyone reading from this reclist to leave a comment too!

i wrote "off the top of my head" but this got VERY long so under the readmore it goes

obligatory classics

• the famous @tierfal 's sidetracked (2010) and full of surprises (2009). rated e and m respectively. these are like the allegorical little black dress in the wardrobe of the platonic ideal of the mellonear oneshot. seem to be pretty well known across the ship fandom • stripped (2009) by blueberryash/@tka-trashfire on tumblr. explicit. i haven't read this in a while but i remember it capturing the delicate gossamer tension of the ship in a way that was sooo bittersweet and nostalgic. • to speak of rules and privilege (2008) also by blueberryash/@tka-trashfire, gen, a manifesto on tenderness, soooooooooo soft, changed the game, near being afraid of thunderstorms was immediately adopted into personal canon. big time influence for the way i write near and mello's pre-canon relationship re: big brother, little brother. • an understanding (2008) by blueberryash/@tka-trashfire, rated T, short and sweet, razor sharp prose, the aesthetics of the little piece live rent free in my head. • dual(2011) by ramasi, @ramasi here i believe. rated m. historians say this might be one of the first examples of mellonear choking kink ever recorded,

•scarification (2012) by gacrux11 on fanfiction.net, rated m, big time dead dove do not eat. sorry this one leans early 2010s era grimdark melodrama but i love it sjkdfkjfd. not enough dead dove fics about the boys if u ask me. • salt in the wound (2007) •tempus fugit (2007), and • white out (2006) by vaudevillain king on fanfiction. net. a beloved rare find. all of them are rather grimdark edgy products of their era, but some of the best the era had to offer. they make me so nostalgic for my teenagehood on fanfiction.net. i get the impression these might've been written even before death note was finished? • birthday smut (2009) by kleine_aster on livejournal. explicit. this one is SO funny to me because it is both really, really good, very in character, but unfortunately it suffers from almost satirical misogyny that afflicted fujoshis back in the day. near literally is like oh that bitch... like. he would not fucking think that but i can edit quickly in my brain as i read. bisexual mello rights! otherwise really sexy imo. i might be writing something that's kind of in conversation with this fic.

RARE finds

(please tell me if you enjoy any of these, i want to feel like an explorer that's brought back treasures from far away lands)

contemporary favorites:

• you've heard about it before and you will hear about it again: the archer ensnared (2023) by jabbernatty, rated e. a jessaerys obligatory syllabus read, the fic that made me go fulltime yaoi disease. i owe so much to jabbernatty they are my white whale my friend my enemy the writer i've psychically imprinted on from the beginning. honestly too scared to even leave a comment given the jessarys archer ensnared lore. may one day may contact and pray i don't come across as insane • postmortem (2023) by the_hemlock true gen, a favorite of ALL time. it's only tangentially mn really, it is 99% about near trying to piece together the mystery of lawlight post-canon, but the characterization and prose are some of if not the best i've ever come across. reads like it could be a piece of canon material. if you only read one fic on this list i'd pick postmortem. • it's friday i'm in love by neallo/@neallo rated m. possibly my all time fave in the neallo cinematic universe. something about the after-hours longing and the standing in the kitchen by the refrigerator lights, as the poets say. i love when stories feel like you're cutting out a window to peer into a larger universe that is just out of reach. perfectly captures what it is like to have a maddening crush • i want to hold you (hostage)(2023) by neallo/@neallo rated e. thee defining fic of this current modern mellonear era. manages to walk the line of kinky/sexy/sweet/fluffy all at once. plot twist of the century in the last chapter. near is properly as bananas insane as mello is in this fic, which is the marker of a good mellonear dynamic. really everything by morgan neallo is a safe bet for a great read • there's nothing i want but you (2023) by neallo/@neallo rated t. wammy's era mellonear obsessiveness that is soooo teenagery and yet a portent of just how codependent they might one day get. cute and ominous. • armageddon/kill game (2024) by bolide/@bolide-archive came out of nowhere a couple of months ago and ascended to the top of the game like a dark horse. rated m, chess au. one of my favorite interior mello narrations and one of the most similar to my own interpretation. such naturally talented prose. i rotate lines from this in my head all the time. still in progress but i have faith that it will be completed :') • how to burn down the sacred loom (2023) by dornishviper/@vriskarlmarx a contemporary CLASSIC. the less you know going in the better. beautiful prose, beautiful structure. they don't make fic like this anymore • the house always wins (2023) by mer_curia/@vivi-scera. screaming with my mouth closed. holds a special place in my heart given that it is my posting that convinced vi to give the ship a try, and i was rewarded with a fic that is so catered to my tastes i honestly had to read it through my fingers. SO good, the manifesto on wammyscest, so rather controversial. heed the warnings. • moonlight (2023) by tsukinousagi/@quicktimeeventfull rated t. an austere, cold little glimpse into a vampire au. it's giving let the right one in. so melancholic. one of the saddest near examinations out there. •proximity tells (2018) by abysmallypresent, rated m. truly lives up to death note's second-by-second minutia while managing to keep up the tension the entire time. great characterization. •silhouettes (2015) by bad blood/eroticcodependence, @wxmmyshouse on tumblr. unrated, post-canon compliant. made me CRY! elegantly short and simple, bittersweet and so so wistful. •arsonist's lullabye (2023) by tzviaariella/@tzviaariella. rated t. this one has a heart-wrenching air of realism to it that exists outside the chaotic universe of death note, one of those examinations of picking up the pieces after the titans have all gone away. very bittersweet.

honorary mentions

• let's die somewhere prettier (2020) by firesafinething also one of my absolute favorites, unfortunately it is discontinued and it is likely it will never be completed. sad! the premise seemed SO promising. in my mind i file it right next to postmortem mentioned above. the exploration of the tragedy of 27 year old near we could have had in a better timeline. one day i will leave a comment so good maybe it will bring back the fic from the land of the dead • august underground by me & @firebuggg rated e, in progress. >:) (shamless self promo)

#death note #meronia #mello dn #near dn #mihael keehl #nate river #mello #near #fic recs #this took so long to compile dfkgjfdjkgfdjk

[i-am-a-scholar-of-magic]

The Titan’s Humors

As I’ve mentioned many times before, one of my favorite aspects of “The Owl House” is the setting: a rich tapestry of the macabre, toned down for ages six to eleven. Everything from the buildings covered in bones and eyes to the Titan’s skull on the horizon reminds the viewers of the semi-organic, pseudo-hellish setting, and it’s awesome to see the showmakers’ imaginations on display. 

One piece of lore was offered in a throwaway line at the beginning of “Them’s The Breaks, Kid,” while teenaged Eda and Lilith are quizzing each other on the way to school: the idea of the “Titan’s Five Humors,” earth, blood, bone, bile, and breath. That's an intriguing concept if you think about it. And as no one seems to have picked much up on this, I thought I’d take a crack at it. 

First off, let’s review what “humors” are in real life, also explained in earlier posts. The “Humorist” theory of medicine developed by the physicians and philosophers of Ancient Greece, and then adopted by the Romans and Medieval Europeans. It postulated that the body is filled with four “humors” or major fluids: blood, phlegm, “black” bile, and “yellow” bile. The balance or imbalance of these humors within the body was thought to cause various ailments before the development of germ theory in the 1850s. Each was also tied to one of the classic four temperaments: sanguine, choleric, melancholic, and phlegmatic. 

This denotes that witches have classified five substances of the Boiling Isles leftover from the Titan whose decomposing body forms them. 

We have quite a bit of lore on Titan’s Blood, compared to the others. It is a rare, violet fluid rich in natural magic. It can be used to create portals to the human realm, and can even do so naturally, and also be used as a potent power source. 

The others are only mentioned in this episode, and therefore mostly my own conjecture. 

Earth seems simple enough. Marriam-Webster defines “earth” as “the solid footing formed of soil : ground.” Considering the flesh of a corpse - even one as vast as the Titan - eventually turns into nutrient-rich soil through decomposition, it is easy to determine that “earth” is the soil of the Boiling Isles upon which witches and demons live and that nurtures its various creepy and dangerous plants. 

Bone is a bit trickier to figure out, but the architecture of the society of the Isles may give us a clue. Many buildings seem to at least partially be made of massive bones and fangs, often in decorative fashions. This may demonstrate that the Titan’s bones are mined as a building material, much like marble or granite in real life. 

Bile has some seriously awesome connotations. It is established early-on that magic in witches and biped demons comes from a sac of magic bile attached to their hearts. This might imply that the Titan had magic bile of his own! Assuming any remains, it would likely be an even more potent source of raw magic than the Titan’s blood! However, bile is never shown or otherwise mentioned on-screen. 

Finally, Breath has some interesting ideas of its own. Considering the Titan has been dead for thousands of years, he clearly hasn’t breathed in some time. It is also worth noting that gasses tend to escape a corpse very early in the decomposition process. However, given the potent magic of the Titan and the Isles, it is possible that the air trapped in the Titan’s lungs when it died was imbued with similar magic as his blood. In my mind, this is analogous to natural gas and also used as a fuel or power source for the inhabitants of the Isles. 

It is worth noting that I have tied parallels to each of these humors with natural resources of our own world, all of which have one thing in common: they are non-renewable. While the Isles are likely not going to disintegrate into the Boiling Sea any time soon, these substances clearly have a limited capacity that cannot be replenished. Titan’s Blood is outright stated to be rare in the modern age. 

It seems the Children of the Isles need to be aware of conservation, too. Who would have thought?

Thanks for reading! More to come …!

#the owl house #theorizing #worldbuilding #setting #urban fantasy

[lucentparanormal]

“Ryan, Shane, and the Internet Hunt Ghosts” – An Interview with Ghost Files

By Kat Mokrynski

Link to interview

“Boogaras, Shaniacs, and those in between, rejoice! Nearly a year after the final episode of BuzzFeed Unsolved, Ryan Bergara and Shane Madej have returned to their ghost hunting antics in a new show, Ghost Files, on Watcher Entertainment. Last year, before the start of the final season of Unsolved, I had the chance to interview the “Ghoul Boys” and learn more about how the series had evolved over time. Recently, we were able to reunite so I could ask them some more questions about their ghost hunting techniques and what fans can look forward to in Ghost Files.

Kat: So how does it feel to be back hunting ghosts?

Ryan: Feels good to shake the dust off the boots and get back out there! I feel like we’ve gotten as much evidence this season as we got in the entire series of Unsolved, so that’s pretty cool. And honestly, just very fortuitous. Perhaps it’s because we have more tools, or maybe our intention is better . . . I could actually recognize that that might seem suspicious, but it’s truly just good fortune, I suppose. Maybe in the next season of Ghost Files, we won’t get ghosts at all? Who knows? According to Shane, we’ve gotten nothing anyway, so it doesn’t really matter.

Shane: Yeah, it’s alright. We’ve had fun! It’s nice to be back out there. In some ways, it does feel very similar to what we were doing before because ghost hunting will always involve us just crawling through crumbling old buildings until sunrise, but in the same sense, there is a renewed sense of excitement to it. Toward the end of Unsolved, it felt like it had run its course. And even before this show started, we were like, “Is it gonna feel new and exciting?” And it really does! I think there’s a renewed enthusiasm for it. And Ryan brought all his new little toys.

Ryan: They’re not toys. But yes, we didn’t want to make the show unless we felt there was something new to offer or a new way of doing it. We approached Ghost Files with a ground-up approach. Even the way we investigate and conduct the shoots is very different than how we used to do Unsolved. So it does feel like a different show with, obviously, some familiar elements. Because you can’t change Shane and I – We are who we are, for better or worse.

Kat: So it was a conscious effort to make it a different style than Unsolved?

Ryan: Absolutely, definitely a conscious effort. I wanted it to have its own visual language that felt different, I wanted it to feel a little bit more cinematic, and I also wanted it to feel much more intentional in terms of the actual investigation itself. Not just going in there and hoping for the best, but really approaching it from, “Alright, let’s systematically break this building down, room by room, and make sure that we do everything we need to do in each room to ‘cleanse the house.’” You see that in the visual language of the show with the blueprints – That was a very intentional thing, more like we’re conquering a house and it’s a battle plan, as opposed to just walking around and seeing what’s happening.

Kat: As Shane mentioned, you brought in the new tools, or toys, depending on how you look at it, for Ghost Files. How have they contributed to your videos?

Ryan: It’s a different way to investigate! If you walk in every room and you’re just trying the same method over and over again and not getting any results, it makes you start to feel insane after a while. It [new tools] keeps things fresh and interesting and it keeps the big guy engaged. He’s like a big-ass llama you see at the petting zoo – You got to feed them a peanut to keep them engaged. Sometimes I think breaking out the Estes method or the REM Pod is my version of giving a peanut to a giant-ass llama at the petting zoo. Otherwise, you’ll fall asleep!

Shane: What petting zoos are you going to?

Kat: I want to see a big-ass llama fighting a ghost – That would be fun!

Shane: [Laughs]

Ryan: You know, standard petting zoo fair? A llama there you feed it some nuts.

Shane: I’m not familiar with that . . .

Kat: Nuts?

Ryan: Or like a big-ass mule or something, you know? Anyways . . .

Kat: [Laughs]

Ryan: The metaphor stands! Any sort of big-ass, sleepy animal needs to be fed a certain amount – Otherwise, it will fall asleep. And Shane truly does feel like sometimes he needs to be fed in these places. I’ve got to keep it interesting for him! Because ultimately, he doesn’t believe in any of this – That’s still the same and never has changed or wavered even a little bit. And he needs to be entertained, because regardless of what method I’m using, he’s not going to believe it’s real. Might as well keep him engaged until the day that we see an actual ghost in person, which will happen one day. I’m confident of it.

Shane: Yeah, that it will [dripping with sarcasm].

Kat: [Laughs]

Shane: It’s not just for me – It’s also for the audience as well. We’ve chosen to revisit a few locations that we did on Unsolved back in the early days when we didn’t have as many tools. We just walked in, looked around, and were like, “Wow, this place is spooky!” So we didn’t really do a thorough investigation. Regardless of your opinions on these tools, they do provide an extra angle of fun in these episodes. The more little gadgets that Ryan brings along, the more fun we have.

Ryan: It’s the best of both worlds! For his side, he’ll have more fun, and from my side we’ll actually get things that I find quite compelling.

Kat: In our interview last year, you mentioned that fan interaction had a part in the choices you made for your videos. What made you decide to take it to the next level with people sending in their own evidence?

Shane: Because Unsolved was boring

Ryan and Kat: [Laughs]

Ryan: I mean, part of it was! For a fair amount of Unsolved episodes, nothing happens. We’re honest! When we go out there and investigate, if nothing happens, we’re not going to show you something that’s fake. So we were totally fine putting out an episode with no evidence and just us goofing around, and hoped that you guys would be okay with that. But for this show, I realized we could kind of have that same vibe, that same attitude, and then also have episodes that will always have evidence in them. It dawned on me that we do have this amazing engaged fan base that’s also interested in the paranormal – A lot of them going on their own investigations! If I were to reach out, there’s a fairly good chance that they would send me evidence that they have from the location that we’re visiting.

Obviously, this was all very conceptual in my mind and I didn’t know what’d actually happen. But the fact that I put out the call out and then people sent the evidence to us was amazing! It really was just a moment of being very grateful for how engaged and supportive our fan base is. Now we have episodes that will have us goofing around, will have us conducting honest investigations, but will also have very compelling evidence from the fan base and the Internet. It’s becomes “Ryan, Shane, and the Internet Hunt Ghosts,” not just “Ryan and Shane.” Because as you saw with Unsolved, we’re not the best at fighting ghosts. This often comes up in live shows or questions – What do we do when a place isn’t particularly active? Most times a place isn’t particularly active! Haunted houses to me are always like living things – They’re not like a theme park ride that’s going to be the same thing over and over again. That’s why it is amazing when we do catch things. But basically, we now have evidence from fans in every episode, which means we have evidence in every episode. And somehow, we’ve also gotten lucky and gotten pretty damn good evidence in every location we’ve been in the season so far. We will always have the arsenal of evidence to fall back on from the fan base, which is great because they feel involved and we’re thankful for having them involved!

Kat: Shane, anything to add to that?

Shane: I mean, it’s really fun to look at what people think is compelling.

Ryan: Jesus Christ.

Shane: It’s legitimately been very fun to see videos from a lot of our viewers who are chiming in and sending us spooky photos and videos that they’ve captured. It’s just cool to feel like you’re roping the whole audience into the investigations. We’re taking them at face value and assuming that everyone’s submitting them in good faith, even though some of them look super fake.

Ryan: Because they’re too good to be true?

Shane: In our six years of doing this, we’ve never once caught anything that I find remotely compelling. So I it’s pretty fortuitous that some of these look the way they do. But hey, happy for them!

Ryan: The thing is, we’ve done it for six years, but we haven’t done it six years at the same place every day. We’re going to film one random day, every time.

Shane: But it’s fun! We’re all having fun, no matter where you fall on the spectrum of belief. We’re all having a good time out there, and that’s what it’s all about.

Kat: On that note of fan interaction, how do you and Watcher, in general, use social media to contribute to your storytelling?

Ryan: A lot of that would be Simone [Malec], who’s our social media savant at Watcher. She’s just incredible at everything that she does. She’s really got her finger on the pulse of what people like, what our fan base is into, but also has an inherent understanding of what the show’s DNA is. So everything that she posts is very much her, and sometimes it’s quite clear, because she’s roasting Shane and I, but she has free rein to post whatever she wants in regards to the show. And it shows how good she is at it when you look at all of our social media handles, but in terms of how I’ve used that to play into the show, really the only way is using social media to gather the evidence clips. And in each one of those videos I look like an insane person, because I am, I suppose . . .

Shane: She started out making Unsolved fan videos, and at some point, we realized we were all very bad at social media. I mostly just tweet about Speed Racer, Ryan tweets about the Lakers.

We begged Simone to come work for us and do better job at everything that we’re terrible at, and she obliged!

Kat: So what’s the backstory for what y’all call “The Boonker?”

Ryan: No one had asked us that yet! Well, basically, we were off location scouting, trying to find a new HQ because we got kicked out of our old office that we used to have at the ‘Feed. We needed to find a new place. Office real estate in LA is pretty tough! Anyways, we were looking for a new place to do our investigations and we just came across this like really great basement/underground area. It was a Craigslist ad, so obviously, those are always a sketchy. But it was really quite the find! We got down there and everything was covered with tarps and dusty as hell. But once you took those tarps off of it, it was a little old, nuclear-era bunker. It’s similar to the live-action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film when they go into the sewers for the first time and they find this underground headquarters which is ready to go – Very similar and lucky for us to find this “Boonker,” especially because it had the grid necessary to hold all the spirits of the ghosts in the Boo Goo Containment Unit which you see behind us.

Shane: We’re fairly certain that it was built by Howard Hughes. It’s about 40 stories directly beneath the Hollywood sign.

Ryan: That explains the tarps, actually, a noted germaphobe.

Shane: But the containment unit that we’ve built costs several million dollars a day to run and contain the souls of the captured ghouls that we’ve amassed over the years. If, at any point viewership declines for the show, we will no longer have enough money to keep them contained, and we will unleash them upon the world. It will not be great for the living.

Kat: You’re referring to the ghouls as if you believe in them, Shane!

Shane: Well, no, I believe in them in the sense of this very compelling bit of lore that we’ve cooked up that is very real.

Ryan: It’s actually not lore! It��s very much like in Monsters Inc. where the city is powered by the screens. Watcher Entertainment – Our devices, our WiFi, all of that stuff is run by the ghouls in this unit. It’s a Catch-22 – If we don’t catch them, we don’t get power, we really have nothing to run the company. Like Shane said, it’s very expensive to keep it going because keeping them trapped is hard.

Shane: Yeah, they try to get out.

Kat: I can imagine!

Ryan: And if this series ever loses viewership, we will just release them. That obviously will have dire consequences. I don’t know if you’ve seen the documentary, Ghostbusters, but when they released that grid, it didn’t end well for New York – Lots of marshmallows.

Shane: There will be Slimers, there will be Munchers, those sorts of things. It brings us no pleasure to report this.

Kat: So you have to keep that viewership up!

Ryan: That’s right.

Kat: With the “Ghost Files Debrief,” you’ve had some of the other crew members get involved in answering questions. How did you decide to do that?

Ryan: Oh, that was just because we have an incredibly hard-working staff on the show. They are all so talented and they do so much work on it. Everybody from the top down – Myself, all the way to people who are simply logging the footage to make sure our editors have it in time, Frank [Frank Parker, Assistant Editor], everyone has truly worked tirelessly on this series to get it out there. It was a no-brainer to showcase some of the faces behind the scenes that make the show possible. It sounds cliché, but without them, the show wouldn’t get made. So it just felt like a natural thing. Also, I feel like our fan base has shown interest in how the sausage is made! It made sense to give credit to the people that are behind the camera, putting in all the work to help Shane and I be dipshits.

Shane: There’s a big sense of camaraderie when you’re out there at sunrise, walking around an old building – You get pretty tight with the crew. And in the same sense, the edits on these episodes are very beastly. So Ryan’s in the trenches with the post team, who really work their asses off to get the episodes out. These episodes are also so much longer than Unsolved ever was! A lot of these are around an hour. People see us in front of the camera, but the whole team is just incredible. It’s very much a group effort. Ryan very much wanted people to know that it wasn’t just Ryan and Shane yucking it up. It’s a very, very talented, hard-working team that we’ve got.

Ryan: Yeah, it’s also just to showcase that it takes a village to make a show. And this is a show – It’s not just videos on YouTube. It really does take a full and committed team of talented individuals to put something together that long. I think that’s important to get out there.

Kat: So, Ryan, you had said previously that you were “demonic” about Unsolved’s tone and visual elements. Has that “demon” energy transferred over to Ghost Files?

Ryan: Yeah, without any doubt. If you saw the last debrief, I think there was a question where somebody asked Lizzie [Elizabeth Lockhard], “What’s the hardest part about working on Ghost Files?” And I think she without hesitation just said, “You,” and pointed at me! And you know what? Lizzie is a bit of a stickler too when it comes to visual elements. She’s actually just as picky as I am. But yeah, we have some pretty long edit sessions where we really try and get the show to be what it is. But the thing is, it’s not just me who’s that way! I was actually talking to one of our lead editors, Anthony Frederick, he edited Waverly and Ignatius and now he’s editing the finale, very talented guy. He said “The biggest problem with the show is that it’s good and that we all care.” When you have a show were everyone who’s working on it feels that it’s good and they all actually care about making it good, it lends itself to the situation where it’s like, “What if we did this one more thing or this thing? There’s this endless pursuit of making it as good as it possibly can be. When everybody is on the same page about that it’s amazing for the show, but you do end up working longer hours and you work pretty hard on it. It only happens that way because we’re all very proud of it. But yes, we’re all demons in that sense.

Kat: Question again about “Ghost Files Debrief” – Is “Cheekies” going to be the official name for those formerly known as “Cowards?”

Ryan: It’s a work in progress.

Shane: I think we have to audition some more.

Ryan: I was reading through some of the comments, I forgot who said this, but someone had mentioned that we should call them “In-Boo-Tweeners.”

Kat: Ooh, the “In-Boo-Tweeners” . . .

Ryan: Which is kind of fun! It’s similar to the wordplay of “Boogara.” Though “Cheek Splitter” is pretty goddamn funny to me. But you know, maybe people don’t want to refer to themselves as a “Cheek Splitter” – That gets you arrested in some places.

Shane: Initially, we call them “Cowards,” but then when did a short Ghost Files tour around the country, sometimes people would come up to the microphone and identify themselves as a “Coward” and it felt wrong. It felt really wrong.

Kat: It’s kind of funny listening to that out of context, some fan coming up like “Hi, I’m a coward and . . .”

Ryan: It is. It is very sad. We need to come up with a better name. I am equally delighted by a fan coming up and saying, “Hi, my name is this and I’m a ‘Cheek Spliiter’.” Very funny. A “Cheeky.” But I don’t know. We’ll figure something out!

Shane: I think the lack of a definite name here speaks to these people’s indecisiveness – You got to pick a side!

Ryan: They had a really cool name for Blade, that vampire who could walk in the daylight –  They called him “Daywalker.” I thought that was pretty fucking cool. We could just call them “Daywalkers.”

Shane: I’m gonna veto that one. I’m sorry. We have a P.O. box [PO Box 967, Culver City, CA 90232] so people can submit questions via postcard.

Ryan: We should do that in the next debrief – A naming competition, see if anybody could come up a better name.

Shane: Yeah, rope everybody in.

Kat: Have other people do the work – Perfect!

Shane: Yes!

Ryan: Exactly.

Kat: So now some lightning round questions. Favorite site that you visited so far?

Ryan: Probably Alcatraz, just for the historic value.

Shane: Yeah, Alcatraz was crazy, a pinch-yourself moment. It was very hard to believe that we were left fully unsupervised, but not, because there was a ranger there the whole time. To be able to walk around, alone, at night was surreal.

Kat: Favorite ghost movie?

Ryan: Oh, man. It’s gotta be either The Orphanage or The Others.

Shane: I’m gonna go with a toss-up between Poltergeist and The Fog.

Kat: Favorite fun fact you’ve learned at a site?

Ryan: St. Ignatius was bought by people who were CrossFit owners. I believe that was one of the fun facts of that place. Weird.

Shane: I could think of some facts, but I don’t think most of them are fun . . .

Kat: They don’t have to be!

Shane: Gosh, have we learned anything, Ryan?

Ryan: I think there was a 13-year-old teenager who had made the swim from Alcatraz to the mainland. I learned that while researching.

Shane: That’s fun! It’s fun that they didn’t get eaten by sharks or seals.

Ryan: Well there’s a serious riptide there, too.

Shane: That’s a fun one – I’ll take that!

Kat: Favorite ghost story?

Ryan: There’s a one-liner – The last man on Earth sits alone in a room and then a knock at the door.

Kat: Ooh!

Shane: Casper.

Kat: [Laughs]

Shane: The movie with Christina Ricci – I was a big fan of that growing up so I’ll go with that.

Kat: And finally, dream site to visit?

Ryan: Probably the Stanley, but the Stanley completely shut down so that it would just be us.

Kat: Good luck with that!

Ryan: Yeah, that’s not gonna happen.

Shane: Wait, the Stanley shut down?!

Kat: No, it’s just that it would never happen they wouldn’t give up that much money.

Shane: Oh I see, yeah. The Stanley would be fun. We’d been there before but we didn’t get to do a proper hunt. Or the Tower of London, someplace that we could absolutely never go, like the White House. Catch Lincoln . . . No, he’d be over at Ford’s Theatre.

Kat: He is apparently at the White House as well! He travels.

Shane: Okay, we’ll get his lanky ass then!

Kat: You should come to the Tower of London!

Shane: There gotta be some ghosts there!

Kat: Oh yeah, you got the two boys under the staircase, Anne Boleyn, all those ones.

Shane: That’d be a fun one to visit. Any place that absolutely would never have us.

Well there you have it, friends – We have a lot to look forward to with Ghost Files, which will be returning in 2023! Along with the second season of ghost hunting adventures, there will be more shows available on Watcher Entertainment, including the iconic Puppet History! To quote Ryan, the upcoming Puppet History is “going to be amazing” and it will be “interesting to see what they do without that annoying host they used to have” [When asked about his rumored deal with the Devil, Ryan claimed to have no knowledge of the event].

Along with all of their shows at Watcher, Ryan and Shane have also released a book about their adventures during Unsolved titled BuzzFeed Unsolved Supernatural: 101 True Tales of Hauntings, Demons, and the Paranormal, which can be purchased on Amazon.

Watcher Entertainment can be found on Instagram, Twitter, tumblr, and YouTube. You can support the channel on Patreon and gain access to a Discord channel, early access to new series episodes, access to bloopers and behind-the-scenes content, and even some exclusive merchandise and events!

Thank you to Ryan and Shane for the interview. Special thank yous to Simone Malec, Katie LeBlanc, and Meredith Edmonds for their assistance in arranging and scheduling.”

#watcher #ryan bergara #shane madej #ghost files

[2stelle]

I genuinely don't think he would have gone to manchester united if he also had inter's interest at the same time. for a few reasons: years ago he mentioned zanetti as one of his idols growing up, he also mentioned serie a as a challenging and strong league for defenders (and I think it still is). Sure man united might have offered him more and you never know but he seemed quite headed towards serie a even in the past. Plus I think he's one of those players that really needs motivation, the fact he left bayern alone it's crazy because they really wanted him to renew. From my perspective I think serie a fans undervalue serie a sometimes lol I don't think inter is any worse than manchester united right now, not at all! I hope he stays with you guys for a long time.

I do think he’s not one who’s only interested in money otherwise he wouldn’t have joined us and that he genuinely needed a change, a new challenge as you said. I do underestimate my own club and serie a tbh but it’s by default at this point since premier league looks so much more bigger than any other competition ahah btw thank u ❤️ knowing my club’s situation rn I kinda think he’s staying until June and then go somewhere else.. hopefully they prove me wrong for once.

ps: me and my friends wanted to know more about that time in January where he kinda told some fans that he would’ve liked us, do you know more of the story? thank youuu 👀🥰

#answered

[absentcaryatid]

Kiss it Better

A LA POEM Kihun fanfic by AbsentCaryatid

Living with the friend you have a crush on is made far more difficult by Kihun's habit of platonically kissing your minor injuries that seem to occur very frequently.

1.6K words, Content note: teen rating, gender neutral reader, minor injuries briefly mentioned, food

~

Kihun was so easy to like and that was the problem. His quick laugh and demonstrative behavior had you falling for him quickly once assigned seats side by side in chorus. Your senior year of high school had gone quickly as you pined for your newfound friend, with Kihun none the wiser.

Things only got worse in college. His musical aptitude was far greater than yours, and while you ended up at the same university, your studies led elsewhere with no classes in common. You still saw him often though since roommate after roommate tired of the way he would start singing unintentionally. Kihun was never quiet about it despite his otherwise polite nature. You charitably saw it as his dedication to music and suggested he move in with you after the next break. After some initial hesitation, he took you up on the offer.

It was not that Kihun was a bad roommate, in fact you loved sporadically hearing his angelic voice. Even deep in study, Kihun's music would reach your ears and you would look up from the textbooks for a much-needed break. Listening with your eyes closed, you could not help but relax and smile. The effects would linger making homework easier and you could not imagine ever living apart from him again. There were other ways Kihun won your heart as well, you were particularly taken by the affectionate way he would grab your arm while laughing at a joke.

It also felt good to have someone to cook for. Something as simple as pigs in a blanket was met with rave reviews since his favorite food was the similar spiral wrapped corn dogs he liked to get from the rest area when traveling between Seoul and your mutual hometown of Busan. Kihun was always appreciative, and it charmed you the way he would bounce with excitement whenever you announced the evening menu. Often he would be at your side, ready to help taste as you went along. The recipes were mostly familiar ones, so the assistance was never needed, but you loved his warm company and never considered chasing him away.

Another benefit was the shared interest in dramas. Kihun had introduced you to one of his favorites, I am Sorry, I Love You, and that tearjerker led you to recommend the Shah Rukh Khan version of Devdas. It only made sense you'd hold hands for comfort at the tense parts or fall into each other's side sniffling. He also loved fantasies and romantic comedies. Next he shared My Love From the Star leading to your choice of Paheli which he enjoyed as well. Nights by the television then became a frequent routine that was a highlight of your week. Sad moments often led to Kihun clinging, which you did not object to at all.

Kihun must have agreed the two of you were a good partnership because he renewed the joint lease each year, remaining at your side despite a further commute to the next school he attended to continue his music studies. You certainly did not mind the singing, and he was an exemplary housemate in all ways but one. If you were romantic partners you would have found it endearing the way he offered to 'kiss it better' any time you knocked your hand or bruised a shin. It meant nothing of course. It was just caring and effusive Kihun being himself. You were weak enough not to tell him how affected you were while he applied a bag of frozen dumplings followed by a distracting movie cuddled closely on the couch.

The first time it had happened was way back in high school. Swearing lightly under your breath, you winced at a paper cut from some choral sheet music you had picked up. Leaning over with concern, Kihun kissed it better before you could object due to shyness. He was apologetic at first, mentioning he had picked up the habit comforting his young cousins while babysitting.

The smile on your face confirmed he had not overstepped your boundaries as a friend. From then on it had become automatic, going both ways, though you were by far the clumsier when compared to your graceful housemate. Over the years Kihun kissed bee stings, cabinet bumps on the top of your head, scrapes, blisters, and plenty of other minor injuries. If you had not felt secure in skillfully hiding your crush, you would have feared it looked like fishing for affection at the rate you needed tending to. Fortunately, he never seemed to mind the caring but purely platonic gesture.

Life went on while quietly longing for your friend. Kihun dated sporadically, never bringing anyone home or staying the night. He always said his heart was elsewhere, which you understood having seen his commitment to his studies. The practice room was Kihun's true love if the amount of time he spent there was any indication. He took all critiques of his voice to heart and further crafted it into an extraordinary instrument worthy of a global stage.

You were not the only one who thought so. You had jumped for joy along with him when Kihun learned he had passed the audition for Phantom Singer 3. That led to forming LA POEM with three other lovely men you got to know a little. Chaehoon, Sunghoon, and Minseong each had traits that would have gotten your interest if your heart was not already hopelessly fixed.

With a busy practice and performance schedule, you saw Kihun less and less, and you felt his absence hard. It was the closest you ever came to telling him how much he truly meant to your happiness. Of course, now that he had fans screaming for him, you knew it was far too late. Kihun could have his pick of partners, and probably would be moving out so he could enjoy some of the benefits of that fame in the privacy of a place of his own.

Kihun had never said anything, but you were resigned that moving on seemed a certainty at this point. Trying to enjoy any remaining time together, you planned a special dinner to mark the occasion of LA POEM's first tour of the country. Aggressively cutting vegetables to work out your feelings, you worked hard to create a variety of gimbap for him, including his favorite- the egg showcasing version gyori gimbap. The prep work and emotional strain had you tired out, so it was no surprise that by dinnertime your weariness caused you to bite your lip while eating, causing an audible complaint.

Habitually, Kihun offered to kiss it to make it better without knowing the location of your pain. He then blanched at the automatic wording once he saw you holding a hand to your mouth while grimacing.

You were too busy fishing an ice cube from the water glass to notice his face. Years of pent-up longing came to the surface while your inhibitions were lowered by the long day. “I've always wished you would.”

His breath caught. Kihun asked, “Are you sure? If you let me kiss you romantically, I don't think I'd ever stop.”

Your eyes went wide at the implication of the conversation. Had Kihun been attracted to you too over all the years together? A response again slipped out without a thought, “I wouldn't ever want you to stop.”

The effect of your admission on Kihun was immediate. He closed the distance between you slowly and placed the gentlest of kisses on your sore lip.

Given the circumstances of the recent injury, one single kiss was enough for now and you smiled tenderly, the look matching his own. “It is not all better, but it is close.”

“Has romance has been an option all this time? We didn't talk about it, but when you never dated I concluded you were aromantic. I never believed you could want me despite desiring that very much. Wanting to be respectful, I never brought it up.” Kihun took one hand in his and looked at you with nothing but love. “All this time, I have not just been practicing music. It is more that I cannot help singing love songs around you.” His grin told you Kihun picked up the adoration in your own tearing up eyes. “I'd like to kiss you again, but we can come back to that after you have healed. Up for another drama tonight instead?”

Something familiar was just what you needed after such an emotional moment. Once dinner was over you brought plates of dessert to the living room. As Kihun searched for mutual favorite Crash Landing On You, one of his arms was slung around your shoulder while your head rested against him. The closeness reminded you to mention a fact you had encountered online. “You know, the leads fell in love in real life after spending so much time together on this show.”

With a smile Kihun admitted he could see how something like that could happen. Again the hint he already loved you warmed your heart. Turning to face Kihun again, you pointed to your lips and asked him to keep working on your minor ache. Happily taking up the challenge, Kihun did indeed kiss it better until plans for the drama were long forgotten. In later days you would begin the talk of relationship labels and hopes for a shared future, but for now truly romantic kisses were enough to start.

~

Masterlist

#LA POEM #Park Kihun #kpop fanfic #kpop fic #diverseinsertknet #gender neutral reader #cross posted on ao3

[jarvis2412]

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#IFTTT #YouTube

[faucetstamp57]

Getting My Selling Homes To Work

Brokers, Between the Lines If you're a seasoned property buyer or seller, you probably already know this: Brokers aren't as loose-lipped as they appear to be. Of course, they can inform you every little thing there is to find out about your house, from origin cellar to widow's watch. They will certainly detail the square-footage to a fraction of an inch and inform you what might influence your home-improvement plan.

Review on to discover simply what brokers are saying to themselvesthough never, ever before to you. "Genuine estate representatives do not usually stand for the buyer," claims Florida real-estate lawyer Barry Ansbacher.

That vendor may be a personal person or a business developerand they are paying the representative's compensation. "My clients will certainly state 'I had a broker,'" Ansbacher claims, "yet the broker was not representing their interests." If you wish to be certain you've obtained a pro looking out for you, employ a buyer's broker.

An open home at a readily available home may seem to take place for the function of recruiting major purchasers, yet these receptions are not actually for the sellerthey offer the agent's long-lasting plan. The agent makes an initiative to keep in touch with these some-day customers, in hopes of shutting a bargain down the line.

They have a vast web as well as top-notch marketing on their websitesand you pay for it." Smaller companies might not have the popular name or variety of exclusives, but they submit their listings to the MLS similar to everybody else. And, Brickner states, they're all set as well as ready to do some cost dickering.

"You're Going to Butt Heads with the Zoning Board." Do not expect a representative, unless they are your buddy or otherwise a true ally, to warn you about zoning discomforts that await you if you buy this home. If you have your heart established on making adjustments to the area, do your research thoroughly as well as understand the zoning maze on your own (or pay an attorney to disentangle the red tape).

That expression, "We'll go across that bridge when we pertain to it," does not apply right here, unless you are exceptionally flexible. "Be cautious of the real estate representative who says, 'You can do anything you desire to this area, all it takes is money," claims Delaware County, New York, broker Ron Guichard.

"You Do not Have Go Via Me." Rather extensively recognized yet nearly never ever offered up to the unskilled vendor by a representative is that fact that you can BYOB (Bring Your Own Purchasers, that is) to the table, and also navigate paying a payment if among them comes with. Yet you require to bargain this up front, prior to you've signed up with the company.

Philip. You will certainly require to do this in creating, as a part of the contract they ask you to authorize. If you sell to one of the individuals named in the clause within whatever amount of time you negotiate, Philip says, "You will certainly owe the broker nothing." "My Assessor Doesn't See So Well." Every property sales representative has a residence assessor up her sleeve.

If you are a buyer, pick your very own individually advised, licensed assessors to discuss your potential purchase with a fine-toothed comb. Seek experts who understand exactly how to acknowledge issues as well as can suggest you on what it will take to repair them. "You Can Market this Residence Yourself." FSBO, the increasingly more acquainted acronym that means "Available By Proprietor," works.

Brooklyn's Brickner claims, "There is a whole lot of cost savings to be had. Just not always the broker kind of individual.

Some representatives agree to too soon finish a purchaser's contract if the connection is no more working, yet some will certainly not. When doubtful, start with a short agreement (thirty days is an excellent place to start). virginia real estate market can constantly choose to renew the contract at a later time. Examine the Relationship Our demands, desires and lives can all alter.

Your agent needs to be well informed on the residences you are taking into consideration and current similar sales. Great realty representatives are experts on the neighborhood market. The best representatives can aid their buyers become professionals by revealing you a vast range of residences and also keeping you harmonic with the market.

If you're ready to start exploring homes, you might be evaluating the advantages of finding an actual estate representative. Discovering an agent comes with a listing of benefits, however there are cases in which it may be sensible to go it alone.

#real estate agent

[cat-induced-fever-dream]

Acquaintances

Pairing: Wanda x Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff

Description: Wanda meets someone who doesn’t treat her like a villain, but she doesn’t know who you really are.

Notes: I promise it’s fluff and not a trap. Also sorry about my hiatus, I’m just super unmotivated to do anything. So here’s my feeble offering to try and get back into writing.

- - -

Wanda groaned at the sight of a man with a camera. All she wanted was to pop down to the shops, buy some paprika, but alas, even a shopping trip was gold for the paparazzi. Maybe if she hid behind an aisle he would leave. But she heard the door open behind her. Ducking quickly behind a stack of tuna cans, she scanned the rows for the precious package.

She knew she wasn’t the favourite of the public, and the guilt of what she’d done ate her alive every night, but she was sick of being blamed. All she did was try her best, but this was the kind of thanks she got.

She frowned a little when she saw the man round the corner. She steeled herself, not wanting the tears to spring to her eyes. Turning around to face him, she- There was a person talking to him. You had a shopping bag in your hand, so you must have been another customer. Dressed smartly with a blazer, but paired with jeans and sneakers, you looked friendly, but the cold look you gave the man said otherwise. You exchanged words quietly with the reporter, and he seemed to refuse you, turning back to look at her. Realising that this was the perfect stall to get out of the store, she resumed her search. Cumin, Ginger, Paprika! Quickly glancing back to see how long she had, she saw you hand the man a business card as he hurriedly shuffled away.

“Sorry about that,” you turned to her, looking genuinely apologetic.

“Why?” she asked, it coming out harsher than she meant for it to. “It wasn’t even your fault.”

You shrugged. “You don’t deserve it.”

Wanda frowned again at this. She didn’t even know you, but you helped her out, so the least she could do was be polite. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” you smiled. The two of you started to walk towards to counter. More like she did and you kind of happened to as well. “What are you cooking with the paprika?”

Sliding the bag to the cashier, she turned to face you properly. “I was making a traditional Sokovian dish.”

“I’m a big fan of trying different cuisines,” you replied, eyes sparkling with curiosity. “That sounds delicious.”

Wanda’s not really sure why you’re trying to make conversation, but you didn’t seem to have an agenda, so she indulged you with a response as the two of you walked out of the store. “It is, my mum always had the best recipe.”

“Ah well, my parents weren’t around much, so I can’t say the same,” you laughed, throwing your shopping in the back of what must have been your car.

Wanda hadn’t even realised she had walked with you to your car. That was embarrassing. “Well, it was nice to meet you, but I should be going now,” backing away as quickly as she could without making a fool of herself.

“Wait,” you called, “do you need a lift back?”

“You’re a stranger.”

“Well I know your name is Wanda,” you grinned cheekily, opening the passenger door. “And my name is Y/N. Guess we’re not strangers anymore. So, what do you say? It’s the least I could do, with that man bothering you.”

She’s not sure what compelled her to agree, but she found herself sitting in a plush leather seat as you adjusted the rear view mirror. Tapping the dashboard screen, you pulled up a map to Avengers Tower and backed out of the parking lot.

You didn’t seem to mind that she didn’t make conversation, bopping your head gently to whatever pop song was on the radio. Instead she spent the time trying to figure out who you were and why you were being so nice. “It’s rude to stare, you know?” you winked at her.

Wanda felt the heat rush to her cheeks. “Wha- No, sorry,” she mumbled. She’d done it again, made herself look dumb. You giggle, returning your eyes to the road. Trying not to stare at you this time, she observed the fancy watch adorning your wrist, and the sleek interior of the car. You must be a businesswoman of some sort, since this clearly wasn’t your average suburban car. But you were wearing jeans. Maybe a lower level employee than?

She sat there musing, until the door suddenly opened. “We’re here,” you smiled, gesturing at the grand tower that was now her home.

Why couldn’t she stop being so awkward? This was the third time. Unbuckling the seatbelt, she stumbled out, clutching the paprika to her chest. “Thanks again.”

“Anytime, Wanda.” And with a small wave, you hopped back into your car and drove off.

- - -

Heading straight to her room, Wanda abandoned her plans for paprikash. The whole interaction was quite frankly, baffling. No one was ever nice to her, except for the Avengers. But you clearly knew who she was, driving her back to the tower without an address. Tossing her jacket on her bed, she sighed. It’s not like she’d ever see you again. That’s when she noticed the card peeking out from the pocket. There was a phone number printed neatly on it, and a cursive scrawl underneath. “I am actually interested in the dish though. Could I have the name of it?”

She hadn’t exactly interacted with anyone else, so it must’ve been you. Running her thumb over the ink, she was hit with a renewed sense of energy. Grabbing the paprika, she dashed back down the stairs.

- - -

You’re spinning around in your office chair when your phone goes off. Clicking on the message, a small smile makes its way into your face.

Unknown Number: this is the dish i was talking about

Unknown Number: *image*

Unknown Number: it’s paprikash

- - -

“Hey Wanda,” Tony called, a carefully wrapped package in his arms, “this came for you.”

One look at the scarlet wrapping paper, and she knew who it was from. “Thanks Tony,” she said, grabbing it and running to her room.

Setting the package gently on her bed, she untied the ribbon and unfolded the wrapping paper. Nestled in the middle, a box of cookies.

She grinned to herself. Wanda’s been texting you for a couple of months now, and now she could really say that you’re not strangers. She knows that you can’t cook, but you can bake. You’re a businesswoman “of sorts” you say, and that you’re a pretty busy person. But regardless, you hang out with her, chilling in the local coffee shop, going shopping, even just a stroll around the park. She also knows that this happiness she gets when she sees you is definitely not platonic.

Opening the lid, the chocolate aroma wafts into her room. Her favourite of your baked goods. There’s a note tucked into the side of the box, and she delicately pulls it out. “Be my girlfriend?” she read, the handwriting obviously yours. Wait. Be my girlfriend? She sat there dumbly for a couple of seconds before it hit her. You’re asking her to be your girlfriend. Wanda scrambled for her phone, snapping a picture to send to you.

Y/N: those cookies look delicious, who sent them?

The witch rolled eyes at your antics, but played along.

Wanda: idk, but i just got asked out

Y/N: whoaaaa, did you say yes?

Wanda: yes you dumbass

Y/N: okay, under other circumstances that would’ve hurt, but i’m too excited to care right now <3

Wanda: ...

Wanda: did you try to bribe me with cookies?

Y/N: it worked, didn’t it?

Wanda: i can’t believe i actually like you

Y/N: honestly, me too

Y/N: sorry it’s a busy day, but you wanna come over for dinner?

Wanda: sounds good <3

Y/N: i’ll come pick you up, see you then girlfriend

She didn’t want bugs in her room, so Wanda grabbed the box to put in her kitchen cupboard. Balancing a cookie in her mouth, she was about to close the lid, when a hand pinched one. Eyes immediately glowing red, she locked onto Sam as he backed away, half eaten cookie and hands up in surrender.

“Do that again and I will give you nightmares.”

The Falcon whistled lowly. “Okay. Protective over cookies. Got it.”

“There’s cookies?” Bucky asked, strolling in.

“No.”

“Oh okay.”

- - -

The heroes were sprawled on the couches playing a game of UNO when Wanda came down the stairs.

“What are you doing with that hoodie?” Tony asked sharply.

Wanda furrowed her eyebrows. “This.. hoodie?” she replied, tugging on the drawstrings of the soft item of company clothing she was wearing.

“Yes! That’s my enemy’s!”

She didn’t really want to get into whatever nonsense the genius was spouting again. “My friend lent it to me.”

“You have friends?” joked Sam.

Steve gave the man a warning look. “It’s good that you’re adjusting to life here.”

“I think the important question here,” Natasha said from her spot, “is where are you going?”

“Dinner,” she replied, trying to look as nonchalant as possible. She tried to fight the silly smile that crept into her face whenever she thought about you, but she mustn’t have hid it well enough, since the red headed spy gave her a sickeningly sweet smile.

I hate you, she projected.

Nat winked back.

“Based on the way Miss Maximoff keeps anxiously glancing at the door, there is likely to be someone waiting for her,” Vision piped up. “I have searched the Internet databases, and from what I have gathered, your casual outfit means that you are going with someone you are familiar with. The sharing of clothes is usually reserved for close friends or romantic partners only.”

Of course the android had to get involved.

“Your heart rate seems to be speeding up Miss Maximoff. Are you okay?”

“Wanda Maximoff,” Tony asked slowly, “do you have a boyfriend?”

That’s when all hell broke loose.

“Who is he?”

“Is he hot?”

“Where did you meet?”

“How did you even get a boyfriend?”

“Can we meet him?”

“What-“

“Okay,” she groaned. Well it was bound to happen eventually. She just wished she could’ve gotten even a few months without the teasing. “I have a girlfriend, yes she’s hot, yes I’m going to have dinner with her, and I’ll ask about meeting. I’m going to go now.” With that, she stepped into the elevator.

“Don’t think this conversation is over witchy,” called Tony, as the doors slid shut.

- - -

“Hey,” you smiled as she slid into the car. “What took you so long?”

“The Avengers found out.”

You chuckled at that. “What, did they interrogate you or something?”

“Something like that.” She paused. “They want to meet you.”

“Are you sure?”

“They’re my family, and they’ll love you as much as I do.”

“Cute,” you grinned, “but I don’t know about Tony.”

“Trust me, they’re a mess a lot of the time, but they’re good people.”

You checked through your phone. “I haven’t got anything on around lunch tomorrow. I can come by then, how does that sound?”

“So you’ll come?”

“Anything for my girlfriend.”

- - -

Her green eyes locked onto you amongst the bustle of suits in the lobby.

“Hey.”

You adjusted the grey fabric of your pantsuit. “Hey yourself.”

“Did you wear the suit to impress me?” Wanda asked, delicately tugging on your tie.

“Actually, I’ve got a meeting with the investors later. Gotta make an impression, you know?”

“Well consider me impressed,” she whispered against your ear.

Blushing, you allowed Wanda to lead you to the elevator.

- - -

Clint wasn’t sure what to expect with you. But if Wanda liked you, you were sure to be one of the good sorts. So maybe like a cute girl she met at the cafe or something. He sure as hell wasn’t expecting the confident girl dressed in a suit to step out of the elevator.

All of them were lined up in the common room and he’s pretty sure any normal person would have been intimidated by the sheer amount of Avengers in front of them, but you stepped up to them absolutely unfazed.

“Mr Rogers,” you offered your hand to shake, “a pleasure to meet you.”

Steve was expecting to have to take the lead with introductions, but here you seemed to be handling yourself fine. “Likewise.”

“Is Mr Stark here today?” you asked him.

“He’s a bit busy at the mo-“

Clattering and a string of curses interrupted him. And of course, the man himself stepped into the room, Iron Man debris in his wake.

“Tony,” Steve scolded.

“What? Did you think I’d miss meeting the girl who stole the heart of our cold antisocial emo?”

Wanda tossed a couch pillow at him, but he brushed it off.

“Tony Stark,” he declared.

You shook his hand politely. “I know who you are Mr Stark.”

“And you are...?”

“Y/N L/N.”

The genius might have been singed from his armour, but the moment that name fell from your lips, he yanked his hand away, as if he was burned.

“L/N. As in L/N Corporations?”

“That’s me.”

Abruptly he turned to Wanda. “Do you know who this is?” he hissed. “The greatest rival to Stark Industries. I thought you were introducing your girlfriend.”

You gave him a winning smile. “I am her girlfriend Mr Stark. And you may have made me your rival, but I can assure you that you are not mine.”

Sam snorted.

“What are you doing here then? Are you here to try and steal data? You can’t...”

You paid him no mind as you winked at Sam. Spotting the metal arm, your eyes widened. “You must be Bucky, right? Princess Shuri told me she’d been working on some vibranium projects. I’d love to take a closer look some other day if you don’t mind?”

“How do you know Shuri?” Stark spluttered.

“You think that she only talks to rich boys who need her help? Sorry to burst your bubble.”

Nat couldn’t help but smirk at this.

“Oh and I’ve actually been working on some prototype Widow Bites as a bit of a free time project,” you added. “If you’re interested, your opinion on usage would really help me to refine them.”

“Of course.”

“Traitor,” Tony glared.

It’s at this point your phone began to ring. Glancing down, you offered a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry, I’ve really got to take this.” You turned to face the wall as your friendly tone turned professional.

The Avengers huddled together as your call went on.

“Is she using you for information?” Tony scowled.

Wanda scowled back. “She’s my girlfriend Stark. Not everything is about you.”

He looked as if he was going to say more, but Steve interrupted.

“Look Tony, she seemed like a perfectly lovely girl.”

“Yeah I like her,” added Sam. “She can keep your ego in check.”

“If Wanda likes her, I’m fine with it too.” Clint said.

Wanda gave him a thankful look.

A cough came awkwardly behind them.

“I really hate to cut this short everyone, but something’s come up back at the office. Investors are a pain.”

“Yeah go on back to your investors then,” spat Tony.

“Wow” you drawled, heading back to the elevator, “is the rich card the only thing you can play Stark?”

The light on the wall indicated that the cab had arrived, and you stepped inside the carriage which would take you back down, as Peter stepped out.

“Oh hey Y/N, what are you doing here?”

“I was just leaving Pete, but swing by later, alright?”

“You know it.”

“Oh and I heard you liked the hoodie I gave Wanda, Mr Stark,” you called. “I can grab you one as well, since it’s my company. But I really do gotta run now. Nice to meet you all!” The metal doors slid shut on your grinning face.

There was a silence, before Tony turned on his protégée. “How the hell are you on a first name business with her?”

“We’re friends?” Peter offered.

“Friends?”

“She went to college with me. She was super smart and we hung out and stuff. You know, what friends usually do.”

Squirming under his mentor’s gaze, he continued. “She was too smart for college though, so she dropped out and started her company. It didn’t mean we stopped being friends though.”

“Why didn’t you tell me Underoos?”

“She figured you might overreact, especially with the web sho-“ The boy’s eyes widened, and he made a mad dash for the stairs.

But Tony grabbed his wrist. “What were you saying?”

Peter sighed, running a hand through his hair anxiously. “She helped me out with my web shooters in college, and since then, she’s been developing them with me.”

“What?”

“She knows I’m Spider-Man and I work with her on my tech,” he said slowly.

The man surveyed his teammates, making deliberate eye contact with each and every one of them. “Traitors, the lot of you,” he huffed.

“I mean you gotta admit it,” laughed Sam. “She’s college age, and built an empire to rival you. Not to mention that she’s pretty, smart, has better PR and actual time management skills-“

“Okay I get it,” the genius cut him off.

“Don’t be upset,” Clint smirked, “you can’t lose if you’re not her competition.”

Tony stomped off.

“Don’t worry about him, he’ll come around,” Steve said gently, nodding at Wanda who was fiddling anxiously with her rings.

“She was cool,” added Nat. “Tony can be a pain in the ass, but he knows she’s a good person.”

Her phone buzzed in her hand.

<3: i’d say that went pretty well

Wanda: cannot believe you didn’t tell me

<3: i’m really sorry babe, please don’t hate me

Wanda: i could never

<3: just didn’t want him to stop you from fraternising with the enemy or whatever

Wanda: i’d break the rules for you any day

<3: how romantic

<3: so miss rebel, you coming over tonight?

Wanda: depends if you’re still wearing the suit

<3: anything for you ;)

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda marvel #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x you #scarlet witch #marvel #mcu

[stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland]

but I am very interested in knowing what crosses your mind regarding Lauren and her and Camila's new house selling hers. Enlighten this fanatic fandom of theories with yours ... please.//

Since you asked here’s what I think, thanks!

You know how some people think the reason C accepted the PR was so she could have money and pay what was left of her contract. Just like the MoM mv theory suggests. Unlike the mv though, I never saw S as someone on her side, like people are seeing now. So let’s say this is accurate and she’s near the end in those contracts (label and PR). It would only make sense with everything happening to her image.

The news of her selling the LA home alone raised my suspicions about the ending of both contracts. Otherwise why would she leave LA when industry basically is run by over there? Maybe she won’t acquire another place there. If what I think it’s right she’ll be moving back to Miami and will work from there in her own studio/label afterwards.

If we think about C+L being together and the fact that Lauren helped the circus and now is “free”, I mean, this can indicate that Camila’s plans must be similar to L’s, although a little more difficult to reach given how big she got - from the x-factor to Epic biggest asset. I think that if she has the option, instead of renewing with Epic or signing to another major label under Sony, she’ll prefer to walk free.

On a parallel note: now that’s Camila could be going back to Miami indefinitely our baby L is leaving her apartment to get a actual house with a backyard. So being delusional looks like their long term plans are doing just great and who knows, maybe our babies grown up and are ready to move in together.

It all leads back to Miami. Lauren left LA before the pandemic and is doing what she can at home and staying at her aunts in LA when needed. Camila could do same if she’s not tied up with industry bullshit. Both of them signed with small Latin PR companies and leaving the big LA ones. Both with their own seal now. The girls seem to have a plan.

You're welcome, buddy!

And boy ... I loved this theory of yours. The MoM theory is partly mine and partly from other mutuals, but yes. I agree with you with what you said about the diva. He is no longer an ally if he ever was, he is more of a hindrance in Camila's life. And regarding the circus, I continue to support the theory that Shitmila had to organize because it was a long-term contract that Camila's team and the diva's team signed in 2015 from the first collab that the two of them made.

All I hope is that enough time passes for that contract to finally end and I can free Camila once and for all.

I love what you've said about your theories as to why Camila sold her house in LA, that's true too. The big labels are mostly in LA and NY, but there are also in Miami and we know that Milamoon Records is registered in Miami. It makes sense that Camila decides to leave LA to stay to work in Miami even if she is not on her own label. Time will tell.

The point you make about Camila going to another label that is not Epic or related to Sony ... I disagree a little on that point, because yes, it is true that Sony is not a good label, but if Camila's plans are, among others, having a record company, (hypothetically speaking), it would be convenient for her to have Sony as a distributor, but move away from Epic.

The subject of Camila's houses is a bit confusing, but I'm glad they don't have so much drama in getting one. Either together or separately. That's a girl thing. As long as it is in a safe place and that they do not have to offer them to the paparazzi everything would be fine for me. They deserve all the privacy they need to have.

I agree with your last point dear anon, they must have a plan. Lauren's is on and all I wish and hope is that Camila's is too. I am very, very interested in those plans of our beloved butterfly.

Thank you for leaving us your theories and for choosing my blog to do it, dear Anon! Have a nice week and come back whenever you want. ❤🤗😘

#camren #theories #anon #ask

[babybluebex]

not your duke [tom holland x reader]

➽ pairing: prince!tom holland x fem!reader (y/n) ➽ word count: 2.7k ➽ summary: at the dawn of the new century, you meet two men: one, your betrothed, and the other, a prince with a secret.  ➽ warnings: explicit language, gothic era shit bc i live for that ➽ a/n: many thanks to the loml @earthlyholland​ for coming up with the title and urging me to finish writing this i luv u kiss 

Nothing had ever drawn you into London. In fact, you were staunchly opposed to the idea when your father first told you that you were moving. What was the point of it? You knew that your father could conduct business as easily from the States as from England, but what’s done is done. You had lived in London for a short time, only a few months, before you realized the real reason why your father relocated you. 

You met your fiancé at a party. London was known for its aristocracy, and your father’s banking business had put him in high regard with many of the British elite, so it wasn’t a surprise that you were invited to a New Years party. “The Osterfields,” your father told you. “I’m told they have a son only just older than you.” 

“Really?” you asked, looking out the window, hardly curious. “His name?”

“Harrison,” your father told you. The carriage bumped along the street, and you swayed with it. “The Honourable Harrison Osterfield of Kingston.” 

“Of course he’s noble,” you muttered. “Father, will you ever stop trying to marry me off?” 

“Your younger sister is already married,” your father reminded you. “If it’s not soon, it’ll never happen. And Sir Harrison is a perfectly agreeable gentleman.” 

“Agreeable to you,” you scoffed. 

“He’s an Oxford-educated man,” your father pressed. “Well-read, which I know is something you covet. I’m told he’s a good conversationalist as well; I guess you’ll be able to judge that for yourself tonight.” 

You cried out in opposition. “Father! Am I to meet Little Lord Fauntelroy tonight?” 

“Watch your tongue, girl. You are to meet your fiancé tonight.” 

The New Years party hosted by the Baron and Baroness Osterfield was what you expected, a lush spectacle of champagne and pleasing music and perfume. It wasn’t the sort of place that you usually found comfort at, but you tried your best; the Baron Osterfield was a close business partner of your father’s, and you couldn’t afford to muck everything up by having a foul attitude. “Lord Osterfield,” my father began, placing a hand on my back to usher me into his conversation. “Might I introduce my daughter?” 

The man before you was older, his fair hair tinged with a bit of grey, but he was dressed wonderfully in his tails and a red tie. “Pleasure to meet you, miss,” he said in a sonorous voice. “You’re the lass that’s engaged to our Haz, yes?”

“So I’ve been told,” you smiled, and your father sent a warning pinch to your back through your dress. Attitude, you could hear him scolding you. 

“Have you met him yet?” Lord Osterfield asked. “He’s a strapping lad; running around with his uni mates, I’m sure.” He looked around the room, bustling with activity, and he made a quick motion with his hand when he spotted someone across the room. 

The space before you was suddenly filled by a young man, still older than you, blond hair and green eyes, a wonderful smile on his face and his cheeks blushed. His eyes sparkled as he looked at you, and he took your hand in a gentle but strong hold. “Hello, madam,” he said cordially. “I’m called Harrison. Haz, to most.” 

“Haz,” you repeated slowly. “I’d rather keep with Lord Osterfield, if that pleases you.” 

“Of course, madam,” Harrison said. “Might I interest you in a turn about the garden? It’s such a lovely night.” 

You looked to your father for permission, and he patted your back with a nod. Harrison saw this and gave a smile, and you hooked your arm with his as he led you out into the cold December night. Harrison’s body was warm and you found yourself moving into him, and he finally stopped at a metal bench along the path. “Do you mind if I smoke?” Harrison asked, settling himself onto the bench. 

You shrugged. Harrison took that to mean “No”, and he situated a cigarette in his mouth. It was rolled perfectly, either the work of a skilled amateur or a professional; either way, it was the smallest proof of his aristocracy. All of your friends smoked lopsided cigarettes that had tobacco that spilled out of the ends. 

“I’m sure you like this as well as I do,” Harrison began. “I told my parents that I prefer to marry for love, but my younger sister is already married. They said it was getting to be--”

“Too late,” you supplied. “My father said the same of me.” 

“You prefer to marry for love as well?” Harrison asked. Feeling slightly more at ease than before, you sat down next to him, fiddling with your skirt to lay right. 

“I would like to,” you said. “But we both know that’s not possible.” 

Harrison shrugged. “We only have a few minutes left of this year,” he said, looking at the Swiss watch on his wrist. “Who knows? Maybe 1900 holds newfound possibilities.” 

You tilted your head. “What makes you so sure?” you asked. 

“I’m not sure,” Harrison chuckled. A strand of blond escaped the rest of his styled hair, and you gently pushed it back, earning you a smile from your fiancé. “I’m just hopeful.” 

“Hope can be dangerous,” you remarked. 

“That’s true,” Harrison said. “But what’s the harm in having a little hope? Perhaps we can learn to love each other.”

“Perhaps we can,” you agreed. “I guess we have the rest of our lives to do that.” 

Harrison smiled at you, and you huffed out a laugh. He pulled a drag from his cigarette, and he said, “So we’re getting married, huh?”

“Seems like it.” 

There was a shout from the house, one that made Harrison look over, and you did as well to see a man, about the same age as Harrison, dressed nicely with curly hair, half-hanging out of the house. “Haz, get your stupid arse in here!” the man yelled. “Find your girl, the clock’s about to turn!” 

“I have my girl, you git!” Harrison cried. Before either of you could say anything, the man slipped from the house and came over to the two of you, and Harrison rolled his eyes. “Here we go…” he whispered. 

“This is her?” the man asked. He was British too, and he smiled at you widely. 

“Yes,” Harrison said, and he stood up. You did the same, and Harrison carefully took your hand. “This is Y/N, my fiancé.” 

“Ah,” the man said. “Hello, madam.”

“Y/N, this is one of my mates from university,” Harrison told you. “Duke Harold Holland of Kingston-Upon-Thames.”

“Call me Harry,” he said quickly. “Everyone else does.”

“Harry,” you said with a relieved smile. “I’m pleased to meet you.” 

“Likewise,” Harry said. “Have you only just met?”

“Just several minutes ago,” Harrison told him, his arm snaking around your waist. 

“Well, it’s quite cold out,” Harry said. “And the clock’s about to turn. Come in, madam, get a drink.”

“Oh, I don’t drink,” you told Lord Harry Holland of Kingston-Upon-Thames quickly. “It doesn’t agree with me.” 

“No matter,” Harry said. “I’ll warn you, though: a drink completely agrees with your fiancé.” He gave a laugh, and you noticed that Harrison shifted uncomfortably next to you. 

“Well, Christ, don’t make me out to be a drunkard,” Harrison laughed nervously. “You’ll frighten her away, and we only just agreed to go through with this.”

“Not meant to frighten you, madam,” Harry said quickly. “In fact, my oldest brother doesn’t drink. Perhaps you two will get along.” 

“Oh, no, Harry, she’ll hate Thomas,” Harrison sighed. He looked at you, then added, “Thomas is quite a bore, honestly. Not nearly as fun as me, Harry or Sam.”

“Sam? Thomas?” you asked. You agreed that Haz and Harry seemed like fun, but anxiety thrummed in your chest. If Thomas was a bore to Harrison, you didn’t want to know what he truly thought of you. You could easily also be classified as a bore: you preferred reading and drawing to the piano or squash that was popular with your friends. You had done ballet when you were growing up, but were by no means athletic otherwise. 

“My twin brother, Samuel,” Harry began. “And Thomas is… Haz is right, he’s an awful bore. He brought a fucking book tonight, can you believe it? What sort of sod brings a book to a party?”

“But Thomas is a good friend,” Harrison added. “He’s a wonderful listener and gives excellent advice.” 

You nodded slowly. Thomas already seemed like a better match than Harrison, and you cursed your father. Of course he would match you with someone who wasn’t the best option for you. But no matter. Your fiancé offered you his arm and you took it, and you followed the men back into the ballroom. There was a renewed energy, and the ballroom was abuzz. You were introduced to Duke Samuel Holland, a man who bore a striking resemblance to Harry (as they should), and were briefly told about the twins’ younger brother, a boy of sixteen named Lord Patrick. The Honourable Charlotte Osterfield came after Sam, and she was giggling the entire night; she was engaged to Sir Tuwaine Barrett of Chelsea, another uni mate of your fiance’s. 

“Where is Thomas?” Harrison asked, looking around wildly. “He promised me that he’d be my New Years’ kiss!” 

“Did he swear to it as he did to Nadia?” Harry chortled. “I bet he’s gone home already. Slipped away without any of us noticing.” 

The clock chimed, and Harrison turned his jade gaze back to you. You gave him a gleeful look over the brim of your champagne as you took a sip, and your body cowered at the bitterness of the French alcohol. “Happy New Year, dearest,” Harrison said quietly, just for you to hear. “Here’s to many more.” 

You nodded. Suddenly, your chest felt tight, and your head was spinning, and you knew it wasn’t from the alcohol. You suddenly saw the rest of your life flash in front of your eyes: The Honorable Lady Osterfield, on your husband’s arm every single day, expected to please him and serve him. You didn’t want that. 

“Y/N,” Harrison said, putting a hand on your shoulder. His eyebrows were furrowed, and you at least felt comforted at his genuine worry. “You look pale. Are you okay?” 

“Yes,” you whispered. “Quite fine. I told you that alcohol doesn’t agree well with me.” 

Harrison nodded, his lips drawn thin, and he turned to Harry. “Call her carriage,” he instructed him. “I think my dearest needs to go home.” 

Harry nodded, giving you a worried look, but hurried off to do as his friend requested. Harrison took the flute of champagne from you and set it down, and he put a hand on your back. “I hate that you’ve gone ill,” he said. “I do wish we can see each other again, though. I enjoy your company greatly.”

“And I, yours,” you replied. “I really apologize for my behavior--”

“Harrison,” a booming voice came, and you looked to see the Baron Osterfield approaching you. “I need to speak with you, son.”

“Father, can it wait?” Harrison asked. “I’m a bit busy at the moment.” 

“His Majesty needs to speak to you,” Lord Osterfield said. “A business venture, he says.”

Harrison looked from you to his father, and he chewed his bottom lip. “I’ll be right there,” he told his father. “I just need to escort Y/N to her carriage.”

“Harrison, Dominic cannot be kept waiting,” Lord Osterfield grumbled. “Especially not on such a matter.” 

Harrison looked at you once more, then his eyes caught someone behind you. “Thomas,” he said. “Thomas! Come here, please!” 

Your heart hit against the wall of your chest when you finally saw Thomas Holland. He was a well-built man, wearing nice clothes that were a bit worn in places. His hair was dark, and in frizzy curls, crawling down his face, as was the fashion. His eyes were the color of amber, his cheeks pink, his lips thin but like a rose. He had a book under his arm, bound in leather, a bit of paper sticking from the top. “Would you do me an amazing favor?” Harrison asked. “I have to speak to your father; can you escort Y/N to her carriage out front?” 

“Y/N?” Thomas asked, and your heart warmed and melted just like chocolate. He had a beautiful voice, and you could just imagine the way he sounded as he read aloud. 

“My betrothed,” Harrison said, gesturing to you. “She’s fallen ill and must be taken home at once.”

Thomas finally pulled his gaze to your face, and a lopsided smile came across his face. “Oh, of course,” he said. “Such an honor to meet you, madam.” 

“Same to you, sir,” you said. “I’ve heard tell about you.” 

Thomas’s smile faltered. “Good things?” he asked. 

“Nothing but the best,” you said. You still felt dizzy, but Thomas’s warm hand on your arm brought you comfort, much more than Harrison’s did. “I apologize again, Lord Osterfield. I hope to see you soon.” 

Harrison kissed the back of your hand. “Same to you, dearest.” 

Thomas led you out of the crowded and loud ballroom to the front of the manor. “Lord Osterfield?” he chuckled lowly. “He’s your fiancé. You should call him by his name.” 

You shrugged. “I can’t bring myself to,” you said. “I hardly know him.” 

Thomas nodded. “I understand,” he said. “So… Harrison told you good things about me?” You nodded, and Thomas let out a laugh. You could tell that it was bitter, though. “Excuse my language, madam, but that’s a load of horseshit. You know it as well as I do. Harrison only puts up with me because my brothers are his closest mates.” 

You were startled at his honesty. “I suppose that’s true,” you mumbled. “My sisters are the same with me. They call me boring, say I’m no fun.” 

“The same is said of me,” Thomas said. “I’m perhaps the least commendable of my brothers.”

You nodded carefully, then tilted your head to look at his novel. “What are you reading?” you asked. 

Thomas smiled. “You’d like to know what I’m reading?” he asked. “Are you actually curious?”

“Yes!” you said. “I just read the most wonderful novel, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. It’s called McTeague and it’s about an American dentist--” 

“By Frank Norris?” Thomas asked excitedly. He pulled out the book to show you, and you smiled at the same one you had been describing. “It’s so entertaining. You’ve finished it, then?”

“Just last night,” you told him. “I won’t spoil it for you, but it was so wonderful.” 

“Have you read The Picture of Dorian Gray?” Thomas asked. When you shook your head, Thomas’s face went red, and he laughed. “It’s my favorite. I could lend you my copy, if you’d like.”

“Oh, Thomas, that would be so lovely,” you gushed. “You’re too kind.” 

Thomas shrugged. “You’re my best mate’s girl,” he said. “I’m obligated to be kind to you.” 

You chewed your bottom lip. “And what of your wife?” you asked. “Am I to meet her soon?” 

Thomas came to a stop at the edge of the steps, casting a glance out at the carriage that rumbled closer. “I am unwedded,” he said. “Courtships have come and gone, but none have ever come to fruition. My father believes in me proposing rather than being forced into marriage, but I’ve never found a lady that I truly loved.” 

Your carriage stopped before the two of you, and the Osterfield’s servant opened the door for you. “Miss Y/L/N,” he said, then turned his attention to Thomas, and he lowered his head in reverence. “Your Highness.” 

“Your Highness?” you repeated, and your heart flipped in your chest. “But I thought that you were a duke?”

“My brothers are,” Thomas explained. “But, seeing as I’m the oldest and heir apparent, I get a different tile.” 

“Your Highness, though?” you chuckled. “What are you, a prince?” 

Your laughter died when you saw the stony look on Thomas’s face. “Yes,” he said. “Did Harrison not tell you?” 

You shifted. No. Please, God, you pleaded. Don’t let it be true. 

A smile played at Thomas’s face. “My lady,” he said. “I’m Thomas Stanley Holland. Prince Thomas of England.” 

#tom holland #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland au #tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader fluff #tom holland x reader #prince!tom holland

[qqueenofhades]

Slides on up to your inbox like the darkling in a good mood (preens with expert cape whirl). Hello your eminence. Ivan and Fedyor each meet Kirigan for the first time. Ahem. If you’re still taking prompts about those two loverender heartbirds.

I hope you don't mind if I altered your prompt slightly, since I figured that they met Kirigan for the first FIRST time as boys brought to the Little Palace. Instead, they meet Kirigan for the first time as a couple in order to ask a terrifying favor, especially since this plays nicely into my recent Thoughts about them + him.

Also on AO3 as a chapter of the better half of me.

The pair of Heartrenders come to a final halt before the tall carved doors, look them up and down, and draw identical nervous breaths. The oprichniki on guard know Ivan well, of course, though they are less used to seeing him with Fedyor – and more to the point, for the two of them to be holding hands. But they rap on the doors, call, “My lord, your visitors have arrived,” and swing them wide, permitting entrance. And in such fashion, formal keftas stiff with laundry starch, palms sweating but backs straight, they go on in.

Inside, General Kirigan is bent over an ornate table laden with charts and books, but he straightens up when he sees them. “Ah, Ivan.” His tone is both friendly – so much as Kirigan goes in for, at least – and questioning. His dark eyes flick to their clasped hands. He obviously must have an inkling of what they are here to ask him, but he arches an eyebrow nonetheless. “And – Fedyor, was it? Fedyor Kaminsky?”

“Da, moi soverennyi,” Fedyor answers formally, in Old Ravkan, though the odds that Kirigan doesn’t know the exact name and specialty of each and every Grisha in the ranks are slim-to-nonexistent. He lets go of Ivan’s hand, as if eager to be considered on his own merits and not only as the other man’s shadow. “Thank you for receiving us.”

“Of course.” Kirigan tips his head to the oprichniki, who close the doors, indicating that the General is now occupied and will not be disturbed. “Sit. Glass of kvas?”

“No, sir.” Despite the invitation, neither Ivan nor Fedyor take a seat, hands stiffly clasped behind their backs, the way they stand on parade when the tsar reviews the troops in spring. Ivan clears his throat. “Fedyor and I have come to ask your permission to…”

He’s not scared of most things. Almost none, in fact. But this is different.

He coughs.

“Permission to…” Fedyor picks up helpfully, trying to cover the moment of silence, the way the two of them have each other’s backs whether in battle or in horribly awkward conversations with their commanding officer. “To be…”

He glances back at Ivan, and Ivan takes the last of it. “To be married,” he says, as flatly and firmly as he can. Then, feeling it perhaps necessarily to specify in case this is not something Kirigan has been asked before, he adds, “To each other.”

Both of Kirigan’s eyebrows jump this time, though he doesn’t respond aloud. In theory, the Grisha are allowed to be married, but they are required to seek permission from the general first, and if he deems the liaison hasty, ill-judged, detrimental to morale, or otherwise prejudicial to the interests of the Second Army, Ravka’s most elite and feared military force, that permission can be denied. The last thing you want is lovers making too much of a stink, trying to pull special privileges or abandoning their responsibilities to the unit in favor of their partner. Then there is, of course, the added fact that Ivan and Fedyor are both men. They spent hours in the library before venturing this request, and so far, they have found nothing explicitly prohibiting two people of the same gender from being married in the formal Ravkan liturgy, but then, they didn’t exactly rush off to find a presbyter or an archimandrite and ask for detailed theological opinions. The traditionalists won’t like it, but they were never going to like it. Among the Grisha, one’s personal preferences are largely irrelevant, as long as you do your job well. And indeed, Ivan’s general nature is forbidding enough to make it unlikely that their compatriots would dare to ask, or that they even suspect. But still.

“Married,” Kirigan repeats, after a painfully long pause. “Ah.”

“With your permission,” Ivan repeats, to stress that they are doing this by the book, the exact same way he would if Fedyor was a woman. “Moi soverennyi.”

Kirigan considers them, tapping his fingers together. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Fedyor rushes, a little too eager to answer, as he steps forward, eyes blazing. Ivan feels a renewed surge of adoration for him, the way you can almost hear the heroic music swelling in the background. “I – I love him, my lord. I would die for him, and he for me.”

“That is very sweet,” Kirigan says, in the tone of a man watching a mildly interesting ballet. “I am glad to hear it. Fedyor, do you mind giving myself and Ivan a moment alone?”

Fedyor snaps his mouth shut and looks worried, but doesn’t, of course, refuse. He swallows hard, steps back, and jerks his head in a nod, touching Ivan’s hand in a brief, silent gesture of reassurance. Then he withdraws through the inner doors of the chamber, and they shut behind him, leaving Ivan and the Black General alone. They regard each other in the pale sunlight slanting through the diamonded windows, and though it runs his nerves ragged, Ivan waits for Kirigan to speak first. He braces for any question he might be asked, no matter how intrusive. If this is what it takes for this, for them, he will do it. He will. He is no traitor. He is loyal to his tsar and to his general, and he loves his country. He just loves Fedyor too.

At last, Kirigan turns away, opens a jeweled box, and removes a small dark item, curved and sharp-looking. He holds it up. “Do you know what this is, Ivan?”

“No, moi soverennyi.”

“It is an amplifier,” Kirigan says. “One that I made myself, in the oldest of the Bonesmith’s ancient arts. It comes from a claw of Morozova’s bears, killed in the deep wilderness of Tsibeya. It would be a significant addition to your own considerable power. I am prepared to make a gift of it to you, in celebration of your wedding.”

Ivan’s jaw drops, though he does his best to reel it up again and not stand there gaping like an imbecile. “To – to me, moi soverennyi?”

“Yes,” Kirigan repeats, looking amused, as if there was someone else in the chamber he could possibly be addressing. “Are you interested?”

“Yes. Of course I am.” Ivan pauses. “My lord, is there some sort of – ?”

“No catch, of course,” Kirigan says airily, as if anticipating that was Ivan’s next question. “Merely a reward for one of my most talented and loyal servants, who, it seems, has finally found happiness. I was wondering if it was even possible.”

Ivan shifts uncomfortably. “Is that so unimaginable?”

“To hear some of your colleagues talk, yes.” Kirigan still sounds amused. “No, do not apologize. I would not have you be otherwise. It is a useful talent and one that you should cultivate, which is why I offer this as a token of my esteem. If you agree, I will call David Kostyk, the Fabrikator, and have it sealed into your hand. A mark both of your wedding and your renewed loyalty to me.”

“Yes, yes. Absolutely.” Ivan almost feels relieved, when this could have been much worse. “My lord – ”

“Of course,” Kirigan goes on, as if he has not spoken, “you know perfectly well that the lives of Grisha are dangerous, especially in these times of war. If I grant my permission to this marriage, especially in contravention of established tradition, I need to know that you are also still mine, Ivan, and that you will use this gift of power in my aims and for the safety of all of Ravka. After all, you will need that power to protect Fedyor as well. So yes. I do grant my permission, so long as it comes matched with an equal promise to me. Be my good and faithful servant, and Fedyor will be yours, and always safe.”

“Yes, my lord.” When the general inclines his dark head the barest bit, Ivan goes briefly to one knee and kisses Kirigan’s offered hand. “Thank you, my lord.”

“Well then.” The general turns on a heel, cape whirling. “Shall we call David?”

“Now, my lord?”

“Were you planning on changing your mind?”

Ivan thinks of Fedyor waiting in the drawing room, probably climbing the walls with nervousness, and how he wants nothing more than to return to him and tell him that it is done, that he is not just the general’s trusted servant but his most favored confidante. “No, moi soverennyi,” he says. “Not in the least.”

---------------

“Does it hurt?” Fedyor slips his fingers through Ivan’s, lifting his right hand to examine the bear claw now permanently embedded in the back of it. It looks red and raw, as if still steaming from the heat of the ritual, but the curve of bone is cool under Fedyor’s fingers. It remains alien to him, but it is part of Ivan’s body now, an unbreakable symbol of the general’s trust in him, in them, and so Fedyor will learn to love it just the same. He bends his head, musing a kiss along Ivan’s bare shoulder. “It looks like it hurts.”

“Not bad,” Ivan says. “It’s a strange feeling, though. Like our usual power, but magnified, changed, more sensitive than I have ever experienced it. I could find your heartbeat across all of the Little Palace, I think.”

He raises his hand, playing his fingers experimentally, as Fedyor kisses his neck. They lie together in bed, their legs entangled, the curtains closed and the fire low, just this small, sweet oasis of solace in their dangerous and turbulent lives. Fedyor doesn’t know exactly what he was expecting to see when the door swung open and Ivan came out, clutching his right hand but wearing a triumphant expression, but this –

He is happy about it, obviously. He is thrilled. But he caught Kirigan’s eye over Ivan’s shoulder, and he read the unmistakable look there. I have given him to you, but only after I made sure to keep him for myself. It’s a dark thought, a little unsettling, and Fedyor does his best to put it out of his head. He is also a loyal soldier, he understands the logic of making sure that a powerful second-in-command does not get distracted from his primary allegiances at this delicate moment, and Kirigan did give them permission to marry. They will stand in a church together, under the gaze of all the Saints, and join their lives together the same as any other who have engaged in that sacred rite. That matters most.

Fedyor shifts, sliding halfway on top of Ivan, as Ivan wraps both arms around his waist and settles him there more firmly. They kiss and kiss until it turns to something else, a shared union in the dark, comfortable and familiar and delightful as ever. After, as Ivan dozes and Fedyor holds his bear-clawed hand, something like triumph rises up in him. He can’t help it.

You will never own him, he tells the shadows, in case their master is out there listening. Not truly. In the end, he will always belong to me.

#ivan x fedyor #heartrender husbands #fivan #anonymous #ask #fivan ff

[buckyownsmylife]

between us - final chapter

The one where Aaron hurts you, but he knows just how to heal you.

When Hotch comes home one day and takes out his frustrations on you, you’re sent spiraling into a depressive state that you were all too familiarized with. But as your boss and closest friend, he’s the only one who knows how to take care of you during a relapse. His efforts to fix the situation end up awakening a different side of him, a side that might just be precisely what you’ve been missing in a time like that.

for general warnings and author’s notes, please go to the fic’s masterlist. PLEASE CHECK THEM.

A/N for this chapter: we’ve reached the end, you guys! I don’t know if I’m ever writing for Hotch again, since I don’t really think anyone even read this series, but sharing it with the world was very important to me, since the whole story was so personal. If you do end up reading it and reaching the final chapter, I hope it resonated with you somehow. Thanks for reading!

Y/N’s P.O.V.

Three months passed in the blink of an eye and the well I had hid in for so long was nowhere to be found. Between Penelope’s ever-present banter, Rossi’s pasta nights and overall, the support of my friends - that made the BAU seem more like a family than a job - I was feeling better than I had felt in years.

But of course, most of my progress was to be thanked to a certain SSA Aaron Hotchner - and Jack had a big part in it, too. Both had welcomed me not only into their home, but into their lives, to a point where it was hard to remember what Friday nights used to look like away from them, without pizzas and Disney movies. I never went back to living in my apartment. Aaron never mentioned it, and apart from the two visits we had made right after I moved in with them, to gather more of my clothing I’d left behind, I hadn’t even been there in a while.

In fact, I had been gathering the courage to talk about it with my boyfriend for the last week or so. I knew we’d need to have this conversation eventually, and when the opportunity arose via us wrapping up a case that was supposed to last all weekend, leaving Jack with his aunt while we could have the house to ourselves, I knew it was now or never.

“I still can’t believe we were able to solve this before Sunday,” Aaron said, that cute tiny smile on his lips as he opened the door to his house.

“Yeah,” I agreed. “It still feels weird not going to pick Jack up, though.” My boyfriend nodded, turning around to face him after he’d dropped his briefcase over the sofa.

“I know. But it’s already too late to wake him and Jessica up just to bring him home. We’ll get him in the morning.” I nodded, mostly because this was perfect for my intentions for the evening, but still, I missed the little guy.

“Aaron,” I started when he opened the fridge in search of something we could eat. He hummed to let me know he was listening, but despite the fact that I wanted to start talking while he was otherwise occupied with other stuff, just so I wouldn’t have to deal with the added weight of his impenetrable eyes on my figure, the words didn’t leave my mouth fast enough. Obviously, he took notice, which only made him immediately turn around to look at me, where I was sitting by the breakfast table, trying not to look incredibly guilty as I met his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” It was hard not to giggle at how quickly he went into dad mode at the prospect of any trouble. It helped to clear the air and release some of the tension I had accumulated in my body.

“Nothing’s wrong, silly. I just have something I need to talk to you about.” He nodded, opting to reheat some leftover pasta I had made a few nights before we left over trying to create something from scratch this late in the evening.

“Tell me.” He was stirring the pot where the pasta had been deposited as he waited for me to begin, but I knew his concentration was completely focused on me. I had to recognize how incredible he was, not only as a boyfriend, but also as a profiler. It was clear that he was aware of how much easier it would be for me to open up if he had the premise of another task in his mind, keeping his eyes away from me.

“My landlord called me this week.” And there it went. All pretense was suddenly dropped as his head immediately whipped up to stare at me with a frown on his handsome face, clenching the pot with much more strength than it was really necessary.. “My lease is about to end, I have to sign the renewal soon. I figured it’s the perfect time to talk about me returning to my apartment.” 

At first, he didn’t say anything, simply stared back at me with unreadable eyes. And then we smelled something funny. “Oh my God, Aaron, stir the pot and lower the heat!” I directed after finally realising what was going on. I jumped out of the chair to help him, but by the time I had made my way around the counter and inside the kitchen, the situation had been diffused and the pasta was done. “Is it still edible?” I joked, peering up from his side to check if there was still some salvaged part of the food, but it looked mostly alright. Maybe only the bottom part was burnt. 

He didn’t answer me, not even offering a chuckle to lighten up the mood. But he did plate up the now warm pasta, picking up both dishes and walking to the table without a single glance at me. It was clear he was deep in his thoughts, so I figured it’d be best to allow him time to get to any conclusions he might reach by himself, opting to simply follow him and take my place where he laid my plate, silently starting to eat while keeping an eye on him. 

It was only after my second bite of food that he said something, and it wasn’t what I was expecting to hear.

“Aren’t you happy here?” The question caught me so by surprise that I dropped my fork against the plate, immediately flinching from the loud sound that echoed around the empty living room in the middle of the night.

“Of course I am, Aaron.” I didn’t understand how he could for even a minute doubt that. Didn’t he see how much better I was? How he had managed to help me get back to normal? 

“Then why do you want to leave?” If the other question took me by surprise, this one completely astounded me. I couldn’t even offer an immediate answer, because I was in no way prepared for it. 

Finally, I settled for, “I never said I wanted to leave, honey. It’s just that I figured it’s a natural evolution for our situation. I’m better now, and I have my own apartment. Why should I stay here?” It was like he had barely heard me, by the way he immediately countered my question with one of his own.

Aaron’s P.O.V.

“Well, do you want to?” She looked lost, her mouth opening a few times before she settled on what she wanted to say. 

“Want to what?” She looked so confused, fidgeting with the edge of her skirt while she bit her lip. I had to lean down and deposit a quick kiss on her mouth, not only because I always wanted to kiss her, but also because I knew it helped her relax. When I saw her shoulders relax, I covered her hands with mine, pulling them up on the table so I could keep holding them more comfortably.

“Do you want to stay here?” I finally clarified, watching attentively for her reactions. At first, she looked surprised, her mouth falling open and her eyes widening at my question, but in seconds she gathered her thoughts and bit her lips, avoiding my eyes before nodding, a sheepish smile on her lips.

A huge grin immediately appeared on my face, as I watched her come to senses with what I had just asked. When she finally found enough courage in herself to look up at me again, I threw myself at her, capturing her lips in a deep, passionate kiss.

I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been this happy. Watching Y/N come back to her natural state was already relieving, as it was to have her around all the time, especially when it came to help me take care of Jack, but to know that she wanted to be here indefinitely, that she had agreed to live with us? I was over the moon.

When we separated to catch our breaths, she was flushed again, and it was clear she was trying very hard to keep her eyes on mine.

“What?” I asked, certain I had a goofy smile on my face. She bit her lip once more, making me groan. “Stop that, pretty girl,” I teased, pulling her bottom lip from its confine. She rolled her eyes, but smiled nonetheless. “Now tell, me, what is it that you want?”

The atmosphere of the room had changed, it was clear now. Whereas it had felt cold only a few minutes ago, when I thought she wanted to leave me, it felt absurdly hot out of nowhere, and I had half a mind to rip her dress off of her. So when she answered me with a soft, “You,” I knew exactly what she meant.

I immediately stood up from my chair, reaching out to help her leave hers too, but instead of walking hand in hand towards our room - it was our room, now, I reminded myself with a smile - I couldn’t deal with the prospect of spending another second separated from her skin, so I took her in my embrace, kissing her in celebration of the next steps in our relationship we were taking together, tonight.

We made out like two teenagers right there, in the middle of my living room, and when the fire that was growing inside of me rose up to my head, I found myself pulling on her dress and taking it off her body, not caring to notice where it ended up. The second her skin became available to me, I lost the last of the control I was still trying to keep, and pulled her by her ass to wrap her legs around me so I could at least take her to our bedroom before I had my way with her, like I’d been dreaming to do for so long.

 Y/N’s P.O.V.

As soon as Aaron carefully laid me down on his bed I was already sitting up, reaching for his shirt. I’d been dreaming about this for so long, long before he ever showed any interest in me. Of course, back then it made me embarrassed - I never thought I’d be the girl with a crush on her boss - but after we came clear about our feelings, the only reason why I didn’t immediately jump his bones was because he wanted to wait for me to get better. And which person wouldn’t melt with that?

Only now that waiting time was over, I couldn’t get him undressed fast enough. It was nice to see him with a teasing smile, looking down at me with that mischievous glint in his eye as he realized just how much I wanted him, when in our day-to-day life outside this house he was always so serious.

“Someone’s eager,” he jested, and I stuck my tongue out at him.

“I expected you to be too, or should I be worried about you not being attracted to me?” The question was made in all good humour, but Aaron clearly did not appreciate it. His smile immediately dropped, and before I could say anything to make it better, he was crawling up on the bed, making himself at home between my legs.

“Don’t even joke about this,” he whispered, dark eyes studying mine just like he did whenever we were alone before he captured my lips in a deep kiss that was equal parts possession and affection. “Do you feel this?” He pressed himself against me, and I could feel exactly what he was referring to. “I’m always so hard around you, sweetheart. You have no idea how difficult it has been to live with you and not be able to touch you like I’ve been dreaming of.”

His words made me whine, clutching his back so he’d lay more of his weight on me. For someone who was as quiet as Aaron usually was, I wasn’t expecting him to be so comfortable in sharing his desires with me, but it only made me appreciate it even more.

“Well, I’m here now, aren’t I? And you’re not doing a good job of taking advantage of this opportunity at all.” He smirked teasingly at me, getting out of the bed to take off his clothes until all he had on was his boxers. Then he was back between my legs, pressing his hardness against me with even more fervor as he devoured my lips once more.

Aaron’s P.O.V.

“I’ll show you how well I can take advantage of you, little girl.” She whined once more, making me chuckle as I slowly left her lips to continue pressing kisses on her jaw, until I was sucking on her pulse point, marking her as mine. I’d never been one for leaving bruises before, too worried about the consequences came the morning time, but in that moment I’d damn all the consequences just to have her, own her, make sure she’d never forget how it felt to be together like this for the first time. 

I didn’t want to have to learn how to be without her again. She was a part of me now, a part of my life and I liked it better with her around. I liked me better with her around. So I made sure to make the most out of this opportunity, when I finally had her exactly where I wanted, to imprint her taste in my mouth, memorize the smell of her skin. 

As I kissed every inch of skin my lips could meet, she danced underneath me, desperately trying to create some friction between us, in that wet heat I could hardly wait to encounter again. So I granted it to her, rubbing my clothed cock on her pussy as hard as I could while ripping off her bra, exposing her beautiful breasts to me for the first time. 

My mouth watered at the sight, and I immediately enclosed one pebbled nipple with my lips, circling it with my tongue before sucking on it lightly. At her pleased gasp, accompanied by one of her hands, which she tangled in my hair, I doubled my efforts, sucking a bit harder, until I heard her moaning sweetly above me.

The sound went straight to my crotch, and I lifted myself off one breast to stare up at her, take in the beauty that was seeing her like this, slightly out of breath, her lips bruised from my nibbling. 

“You’re perfect,” I let her know, and when she smiled I leaned down to give the other breast the same treatment. God, she tasted sweet. If her skin was this delicious, I could only imagine how delightful it would be to bury my face in between her thighs, drinking in her essence.

But I wouldn’t have to imagine it much longer. Slowly, determined to kiss each inch of skin along the way, I created a pathway of kisses and bruises down her stomach, appreciating the shiver that went up her spine at the feeling of my nose caressing her lower belly. 

“You’re so beautiful, love,” I insisted in reminding her, knowing how hard it was for her to believe me - or anyone else - when it came to her qualities, but she needed to learn about her own beauty. I’d teach her to recognize it.

“Aaron, please…” Now, I’d heard a lot of sexy things in my life - most of them from her own lips, ever since we’d started dating - but nothing had ever come near the sound of her begging me to give her some release. It made me lose my infamous control, it turned me into that same man I’d become when I had her over my lap, writhing with the need to feel my touch on her skin.

“That’s not how you call me, is it, sweetheart?” I asked, looking up at her from my spot between her thighs, while I sensuously kissed the soft skin there. Her eyes sparkled with understanding, and while she tried to control the instinctual need to raise her hips to try and get me to touch her where she really needed, she finally said the words I’d been dying to hear again.

“Please, daddy, I need you.” That was all I needed to plunge into her waiting heat. Just like I’d anticipated, she tasted heavenly. Syrupy sweet and incredibly addicting. I wanted to bathe in her essence, drown in it. 

It didn’t help my animalistic instincts that every swipe of my tongue over her little clit elicited the most musical moans from her perfect lips, which only served to further incentive me to bury my tongue as far as it could go inside of her weeping hole. My nose was the one massaging her nub while I struggled to get every drop of wetness I could collect, further aided by my head’s movements as I enthusiastically moved around, eating her out hungrily.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

Aaron was so starved for my cunt that all of a sudden, his hands came up to grab the cheeks of my ass, helping him better angle my body to how he desired to be able to fully appreciate his meal. It was dirty and sinful, but it was exactly what I needed after so many nights dreaming about his touch on me.

I was so wet I could feel it dripping from my lower lips, smearing my thighs and tarnishing the duvet underneath me. It didn’t seem like he minded, though. It was more for him to lap, and I had to grab the covers to try to keep my mind from going insane.

“Daddy…” I moaned, desperate for release as my whole body trembled underneath him. Aaron didn’t even look up, still too busy with my pussy, and I had to say it out loud so I could get his permission. “Wanna cum.”

That made him look up at me, but only his gaze went up to meet mine, his face remaining buried against me, never stopping his incessant licking. “Come on, love. Come for me.” As always, I followed his order without any amount of hesitation.

It wasn’t like I could control it, anyway. My body didn’t belong to me anymore, it was his, his to take, to care for, to love and to deal with, when necessary. And I trusted him to take good care of it.

So far, so good. He finally came up for air as my muscles relaxed, making me fall slack against the sweat-drenched mattress. Kissing his way up my body, he kissed me on the lips with fervor when our lips finally met, his long fingers immediately finding their way inside of my still sensitive cunt. 

“Daddy…” I whined, feeling too raw yet to be able to deal with any part of him inside of me, but he was having none of it. Although he immediately retreated the finger, it was only to slap my pussy so I’d stop trying to close my legs around him, conceding all the access to my body once again. 

As soon as my legs fell open, he was pushing it inside of me again, only this time there were two of them. Despite how wet I was, the thickness was already far more than I was used to, but the stretch felt wonderful, making me feel full like I couldn’t remember ever feeling before.

Over me, I heard Aaron curse, prompting me to open my eyes again (when had I even closed them?) only to find him focused where his fingers were carefully exploring. “You’re so tight, sweetheart. How long has it been since you’ve had sex?”

The question made me giggle, knowing he didn’t really need an answer. But the truth was, it’d been over a year. I couldn’t even remember the last time I had sex with my ex, and since it had been a while before we broke up, I knew Aaron would really need the time to prep me up to take him.

Just the memory of how his cock felt underneath me, straining in his trousers when he had me over his lap, had a new wave of wetness flooring from within me. My boyfriend sucked in a breath, clearly hypnotized by the way the added lubricant helped him ease his digits in.

Aaron’s P.O.V.

I was transfixed, completely in love with the way her pussy gripped my fingers every time I pulled them back only to push in again. Although it didn’t help my growing need to repeat the action with my cock, it did fill me with some kind of satisfaction by itself. I was the one doing this to her, I was the one giving her this pleasure. She was creaming around my fingers.

So I kept on my shallow thrusts until I could see it wasn’t enough for her. I saw it in the way she pushed back to meet my digits. I saw it in the whines she was emitting, which only served to make me even harder for her. Finally, she was the one who broke me out of my reverie, downright begging me, “Please, Aaron, please. I wanna cum around your cock. Please.”

Who could possibly deny such a request? I recognized that I was known for my control, but I still had needs, like any person. And right then, all I needed was her. So I pulled away, just enough so that I was able to pull my boxers down and wrap my hand around my member, trying to relieve some of the tension.

The vision before me more than helped. It was better than porn, certainly better than anything my mind could create, seeing Y/N like that, completely naked, heaving and wet because of me.

I knew birth control wasn’t a concern, so I just leaned over her again, rubbing the head of my cock on her clit and appreciating the desperate moan that resonated around the room before I dragged it down and pushed in.

Immediately, the feeling of tightness and warmth made me gasp, and I almost lost my balance and fell on top of her body, but her own hands flew up to hold me by my hips, freezing me in place. She didn’t say anything, but from her whimper, it was clear that she was in pain, so as much as I was trembling with the urge to push all the way inside of her, I breathed deeply and rested my forehead on hers.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. You’re okay. I know it hurts, I’m going slowly, okay? Give you time to get used to it.” She nodded, eyes squeezed shut while I delivered quick kisses all over her face. I tried to pull back slightly and push in only a little bit further, and she seemed to adjust to that, her hands coming around my torso to hug me to her.

“Slowly,” she repeated in a whisper, still not opening her eyes.

“Slowly,” I agreed, kissing her temple and keeping up with the ritual of sliding back and pushing in again, until I was able to bottom out. “Fuck, daddy!” The whiny tone of her voice only added to my arousal, and I exchanged my kisses for little bites all over her neck.

“Does it feel good, baby? Can I move?” I asked, fascinated by the taste of her sweat on my tongue. I wanted to lap it up, just like I had done to her wetness minutes before, but the ache in my groin reminded me there were more pressing urges to be fulfilled now.

“Yes, Yes! Please, move!” That was all I was waiting for to start thrusting in and out of her. It was an incredible feeling. It’d been so long since I’d felt this connected to someone. It felt amazing. She felt amazing. Such a strong feeling of belonging, of true love coursed through my body that all I wanted to do was to kiss the breathing air out of her lungs.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I held on Aaron’s body like it was my lifeboat, and in many ways, I supposed he was precisely that. He’d been patient when I needed, firm when I desired it and now he was filling me in ways I’d never felt before.

It was such an overwhelming feeling, to be this connected to someone. The thought prompted me to finally open my eyes, only to find his already fixed on mine. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, and I felt my heart grow twice its size before I pulled him to meet my lips again.

“So are you,” I mumbled against his mouth, and he chuckled breathlessly, still fucking me deeply against the mattress, prompting me to run my nails over his back, making him curse. Believe me, there was nothing hotter than hearing Aaron Hotcher curse while being balls deep into you.

“I don’t ever want to leave you,” he confessed, and I knew he was referring to the act we were currently partaking in, but I couldn’t help but to run my fingers through his hair, softly responding, “Then don’t.”

The mood suddenly changed, and so did his thrusts. They became slower, but more meaningful, somehow. His forehead fell to mine, his lips but an inch from mine when he answered, “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I won’t.”

I knew we’d still have so much to overcome, so much to fight for, but the fact was that we’d be doing it together. I knew that now, as I felt him move inside of me, bringing me to new heights of pleasure, his hands finding mine and holding them by my side, in bed. This, right here, wouldn’t solve everything, but it brought me a sense of belonging I’d never been able to experience before.

And at the end of the day, I knew that all I wanted was to belong to Aaron for the rest of my life.

#aaron hotchner smut #smut #aaron hotchner #my series #criminal minds fics #criminal minds fan fiction #criminal minds smut #aaron hotchner reader #aaron hotchner reader insert #aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #hotch smut

[forestwater87]

How did you become a university Librarian? Did you do an English degree? Sorry if this is a weird question it just really interests me as I’m not sure what to do when I’m older

Eeee I got really excited about this question! 

Okay, the fun thing about librarianship is that all roads can lead to it: as long as you get an ALA-approved (assuming you’re American; if you aren’t I cannot help you) graduate degree you can do just about anything for undergrad. English majors are extremely common, just by the nature of who’s into the job, but literally it doesn’t matter; in fact, weirder and more specialized degrees can actually help in certain jobs, because they give you a ton of background info and qualifications than most of your contemporaries have.

I fell into it because I worked at a library in high school and fell in love with the environment, and when I realized I’d rather die than work in publishing (my previous life’s goal) I gravitated toward library school. I knew from the beginning that I’d need a Master’s -- and a very specific one at that -- so mostly my undergrad was just “grab a foundational degree and have fun with it.” That was really freeing, honestly. I had a ton of fun in undergrad.

Now, if you, Anon, were interested in getting into librarianship I’d have a handful of recommendations. These are all based on my very American experience, and there are probably smarter people than me with better advice but I’m the only one on this blog so heeeeerrreeeee we goooooooooo!

Undergrad

You need a 4-year degree. Full-stop. It doesn’t matter what kind, but you gotta have one to get into grad school.

Like I said, you can do just about anything for an undergraduate degree. Most of the time English is the BA of choice, because librarians love them some books, but some far less common ones that I think would be hugely helpful to a hopeful librarian would be:

Computer Science: Oh my god you need at least a baseline competency in computers/technology please you don’t have to code but you need to be able to turn a computer on and navigate just about any website/office application on just about any device at the very least you need to know how to Google

Business/Marketing: Particularly if you want to work in public libraries, where a bunch of your funding comes from begging politicians and convincing taxpayers to donate/vote to give you money

Law: If you want to be a law librarian

Medical . . . whatever, I don’t know what fields of medicine there are: If you want to work in a hospital or other medical library

History or Art History: If you’re interested in archives or museum librarianship

Education: School librarians in my state require you to be a certified teacher, and no matter what kind of library you end up in, you’ll end up teaching someone something a decent amount of the time

Communications: You’ll be doing a lot of it. Public speaking, too

Spanish/ASL/any not-the-common language: Hey, you never know what your patrons speak

Literally fucking anything I promise it doesn’t matter what you major in you will use it in a library at some point

Just be aware that you will need more than an undergrad degree. You’ll need probably 2 years of postsecondary schooling (more for certain types of librarianship), so get yourself comfortable with the idea of college.

If you’re like me (please don’t be like me), you might toy with the idea of getting a minor or two/double majoring to round out your skill set. Honestly I’d encourage it if you’re comfortable with the workload and have the time or money; like I said, there are no skills or educational background that won’t come in handy at some point. I promise. We see it all.

Along those lines, a wide expanse of hobbies can be hugely helpful too! You never know when your encyclopedic knowledge of Minecraft will be useful to a patron, but it absolutely will be.

Graduate School

All right, you’ve got your lovely little Bachelor’s Degree, maybe in something weird and esoteric for the fun of it . . . now you’re off to do more school!

It’s a bit complicated, because there are a handful of different titles an appropriate degree could have; my school called it “a Master of Science in Information Science” (MSIS), but other schools might just go with “Master’s of Information Science” (MIS), “Master’s of Library Science” (MLS), “Master’s of Library and Information Science” (MLIS) . . . it’s a mess. 

What you need to do is make sure the degree is approved by the American Library Association, who decides if a program is good enough to make you a librarian in the States. (Again, if you’re not American, good luck.)

Here’s a list of ALA-accredited programs and the schools that offer them.

The nice thing is accreditation has to be renewed at least every few years, so that means your program is always updated to make sure it’s in line with national standards. I’m not promising you’ll learn everything you need to be a librarian in grad school (oh my god you so won’t not even close hahahaha), but at least in theory you’ll be learning the most up-to-date information and methods.

(I’m curious to see how things have changed; when I was in school from 2015-17, the hot topics in library science were makerspaces (especially 3D printing), turning the library into the community’s “third space,” and learning how to incorporate video games into library cataloging and programming. No idea if those are still the main hot-button issues or if we’ve moved on to something else; I imagine information literacy and fake news are a pretty big one for current library students.)

Anyway! You pick a school, you might have to take a test or two to get in -- I had to take the GRE, which is like the SATs but longer -- almost certainly have to do all that annoying stuff like references and cover letters and all that, but assuming you’re in: now what?

There are a couple options depending on the school and the program, but I’m going to base my discussion around the way my school organized their program at the time, because that’s what I know dammit and I will share my outdated information because I want to.

My school broke the degree down into 5 specializations, which you chose upon application to the program:

Archives & Records Administration: For working in archives! I took some classes here when I was flirting with the idea, and it’s a lot of book preservation, organizing and caring for old documents and non-book media, and digitization. Dovetails nicely into museum work. It’s a very specific skillset, which means there will be jobs that absolutely need what you specifically can do but also means there aren’t as many of them. It makes you whatever the opposite of a “jack of all trades” is. You’re likely to be pretty isolated, so if you want to spend all your time with books this might be a good call; it’s actually one of the few library-related options that doesn’t require a significant amount of public-facing work. 

Library & Information Services: For preparation to work in public or academic (college) libraries. Lots of focus on reference services, some cataloging, and general interacting-with-the-public. You have to like people to go into library services in general, heads up.

Information Management & Technology: Essentially meaningless, but you could in theory work as like a business consultant or otherwise do information-related things with corporations or other organizations.

Information Storage & Retrieval: Data analytics, database . . . stuff. I don’t really know. Computers or something. Numbers 3 and 4 really have nothing to do with libraries, but our school was attempting to branch out into more tech-friendly directions. That being said, both this and #3 could definitely be useful in a library! Libraries have a lot of tech, and in some ways business acumen could be helpful. All roads lead to libraries; remember that.

Library & Information Services / School Library Media Specialist: This was the big kahuna. To be a school librarian -- at least in my state -- you need to be both a certified librarian and a certified teacher, which means Master’s degrees in both fields. What our school did was basically smushed them together into a combined degree; you took a slightly expanded, insanely rigorous 2-2.5 years (instead of the traditional 1.5-2) and you came out of it with two degrees and two certifications, ready to throw your butt into an elementary, middle/junior high, or high school library. Lots of focus on education. I started here before realizing I don’t like kids at all, then panicked and left. Back in 2017 this was the best one for job security, because our state had just passed a law requiring all school librarians to be certified with a MSIS/MLS/whatever degree. So lots of people already in school libraries were desperately flinging themselves at this program, and every school was looking for someone that was qualified. No idea if that’s changed in time.

No matter what concentration you went in with, you automatically graduated with a state certification to be a librarian, which was neat. You didn’t automatically get civil service status, though; for some public libraries you need to be put on a civil service list, which means . . . something, I’m not entirely sure. It involves taking exams that are only available at certain times of the year and I gave up on it because it looked hard. 

No one did more than 1 concentration, which is dumb because I wanted to do them all, but it takes a lot of time and money to take all the classes associated with all of them so I personally did #2, which was on the upper end of mid-tier popularity. School library and database services were far and away the most popular, and literally no one did the business one because it was basically useless, so library and archives were the middle children of which the library one was prettier.

THAT BEING SAID! Some forms of librarianship require a lot more education. A few of those are:

Law librarians: At least in my state, you gotta be a certified librarian and have a J.D. This is where the “big bucks” are -- though let’s be real, if you want to be a librarian you have zero interest in big bucks; reconcile yourself to being solidly middle-class and living paycheck-to-paycheck for the rest of your life or marrying rich -- which I guess is why it requires the most work.

School librarians: Like I mentioned, depending on the state you might need two degrees, and not all schools smush them into one. You might need to get a separate Master’s in education.

College librarians: Now, this depends on the college and the job; some colleges just need an all-access librarian, like mine. I didn’t need to specialize in anything, I just showed up with my degree and they took me. (Note: these sorts of entry-level positions tend to pay piss. Like, even more piss than most library gigs. Just a heads-up.) However, if you’re looking to get into a library of a higher-end university, you might be asked to have a second Master’s-level or higher degree just to prove you’re academic enough to party at their school. (Let’s be real, Harvard is almost certainly gonna want someone with a Ph.D. at the very least. That’s just how they roll.) Alternatively, the position might be for a specialty librarian, someone in charge of a field-specific library or field-specific reference services; if you’re being asked to head up the Science & Engineering Library at Masshole University, it’s reasonable to expect that you’ll be bringing a degree in engineering or some sort of science to the table. Colleges have so many different needs that predicting what kind of experience/education you should get is a bit of a challenge. Good luck. Some schools will help you out a bit with this; my grad school had dual degree programs where you could share credits between the MSIS and either an English or History Master’s so you could graduate with both in less time. I . . . started this, and then panicked at the thought of more school/writing a thesis and bailed, but it’s great if you’re into that idea!

What’s the point of the Information/Library Science degree?

You have to have the degree. If you don’t have the degree, you don’t get the job and you don’t make-a the money. Resign yourself to getting a Master’s degree or you’re gonna be bummed out and unemployed.

In terms of what you learn? Well, obviously it depends on the program, but I found that a lot of what I learned was only theoretically related to what I do on a daily basis. My instructors were lovely (well, the adjuncts anyway; the full-timers really didn’t want to be there and wanted to be off doing research and shit), but every library is so idiosyncratic and there’s such a massive umbrella of jobs you could get in one -- god, I didn’t even get into things like metadata services, which I learned basically nothing about in grad school but are super important to some positions -- that it’s hard to learn anything practical in a classroom.

However, besides the piece of paper that lets you make-a the money, there are two important things you should get from your grad school education:

Research skills: My god, you’re going to be doing so much research. If you’re a public librarian, you need to know how to Google just about anything. And if you’re a college librarian, being able to navigate a library database and find, evaluate, and cite sources . . . I mean, you’re going to be doing so much of that, showing students how to do that. Like a ridiculous amount of my day is showing students how to find articles in the virtual library. Get good at finding things, because much like Hufflepuffs, librarians need to be great finders.

Internship(s): Just about every library program will require an internship -- usually but not always in replacement of a thesis -- and if the one you’re looking at doesn’t, dump it like James Marsden in a romantic comedy. Internships are hugely important not only because they look good on a resume and give you some of those delicious, delicious references, but they are a snapshot of what your job is going to look like on a day-in, day-out basis; if nothing else, you’ll learn really fast what does and doesn’t appeal to you. As I mentioned, I wanted to be a school librarian for about half a semester. You know what changed my mind? My class required like 40 hours of interning at schools of each level. Being plopped into that environment like a play you’re suddenly acting in? Super helpful in determining whether or not this shit is for you.

What else should I learn, then?

Besides how to research basically anything? Here are some useful skills in just about any library:

Copyright law. Holy shit, do yourself a favor and learn about publishing/distribution laws in your state. Do you wanna show a movie as a fun program? You need to buy a license and follow super specific rules or it’s illegal! Does an instructor want to make copies of their textbook to give to the students? Make sure you know how much they can copy before it’s no longer fair use! Everything in my life would be easier if I’d taken the time to learn anything about copyright. I did not, and now I’m sad. (I lost out on a job opportunity because they wanted the librarian to be particularly knowledgeable in that kinda thing, and I was very not.)

Metadata and cataloging. In theory, you should learn this in grad school, but I was only given the bare basics and it wasn’t enough. Dublin Core, MARC-21, RDF -- there are so many different kinds of metadata schema, and I took a 6-week class in this and still don’t understand any of the words I just used in this sentence. But basically, to add items to a library catalog you often need to know how to input them into your library’s system; to an extent that’ll be idiosyncratic to your library’s software, but some of it will be based on a larger cataloging framework, so familiarity with those is very useful.

Public speaking and education. You’re gonna do a lot of it. Learn how to deal.

General tech savviness. Again, we’re not talking about coding but if you can navigate a WordPress website? If you know how to troubleshoot just about any issue with Microsoft Word, PowerPoint, etc.? If you can unjam printers and install software and use social media you’re going to be a much happier person. At the very least, know how to google tutorials and fake your way through; your IT person can only do so much, and a lot of it is probably going to fall on you.

Social work, diplomacy, general human relations kinda stuff. You’re going to be dealing with all sorts of people from all sorts of backgrounds, with every political view, personal problem, and life experience under the sun. You need to get very good at being respectful of diversity -- even diversity you don’t like* -- and besides separating your own personal views and biases from your work, you’ll be much better equipped to roll with the punches if you have, for example, conflict resolution training. Shit’s gonna get weird sometimes, I promise. (Once a student came in swinging around butterfly knives and making ninja noises. You know who knew how to deal with that? Not me!)

Standard English writing and mechanics. It’s not fair, but in general librarians are expected to have a competent grasp on the Standard English dialect, and others are less likely to be appreciated by the general populace. Obviously this differs based on your community and environment, and colloquialisms are sometimes useful or even necessary, but as a rule of thumb it’s a good call to be able to write “properly,” even if that concept is imperialist bullshit.

*I don’t mean Nazis. Obviously I don’t mean Nazis. Though there is a robust debate in the library community about whether Nazis or TERFs or whatever should be allowed to like, use library facilities for their own group meetings or whatever. I tend to fall on the “I don’t think so” side of the conversation, but there’s a valid argument to be made about not impeding people’s access to information -- even wrong or harmful information. 

Any other advice?

Of course! I love to talk. Let’s see . . .

Get really passionate about freedom of information and access: A library’s main reason for existing is to help people get ahold of information (including fiction) that they couldn’t otherwise access. If you’re a public librarian, you have to care a lot about making sure people can access information you probably hate. (If you’re an academic librarian it’s a little more tricky, because the resources should meet a certain scholarly threshold, and if you’re a school librarian there are issues of appropriateness to deal with, but in general more info to more people is always the direction to push.) Get ready to defend your library purchases to angry patrons or even coworkers; get ready to defend your refusal to purchase something, if that’s necessary. Get ready to hold your nose and cringe while you add American Sniper to your library collection, because damn it, your patrons deserve access to the damn stupid book. Get really excited about finding new perspectives and minority representation, because that’s also something your patrons deserve access to. Get really excited about how technology can make access easier for certain patrons, and figure out how to make it happen in your library. Care about this; it’s essential that you’re passionate about information -- helping your patrons find it, making sure they can access it, evaluating it, citing it . . . all of it. Get ranty about it. Just do it.

Be prepared to move if necessary: One of my professors told us that there was one thing that would always guarantee you a job that paid well -- this was in 2016 but still -- that as long as you had it you could do whatever you wanted. And that was a suitcase. Maybe where you live is an oversaturated market (thanks for having 6 library schools in a 4-hour radius, my state). Maybe something something economic factors I don’t really understand; the point is that going into this field, you should probably make peace with the idea that you’ll probably either end up taking a job that doesn’t make enough money or struggle a lot to even find one . . . or you’re going to have to go where the jobs are. It’s a small field. Just know that might be a compromise you have to make, unless you can get a strictly remote job.

Read: This sounds stupidly obvious but it’s true! Read things that aren’t your genre, aren’t your age range; patrons are going to ask you for reading advice all the goddamn time, especially if you’re a public librarian, so the more you can be knowledgeable about whatever your patrons might ask you about, the easier your life will be. If you’re considering librarianship you probably love to read anyway, so just ride that pony as hard as you possibly can.

Learn to be okay with weeding -- even things you don’t think deserve it: You are going to have to recycle books. You’re going to have to throw away books. You’re going to have to take books out of the collection and make them disappear in some fashion or another. There are a lot of reasons -- damage and lack of readership are big ones -- and there’s no bigger red flag to a librarian than someone saying “I could never destroy a book.” That kind of nonsense is said by people who’ve never had to fit 500 books onto a shelf built for 450. Archivists are different, of course, as are historians, and everyone should have a healthy respect for books both as physical objects and as sources of information, but you’re going to have to get rid of them sometimes, and you’re just going to have to learn how to do that dispassionately.

Have fun! No one gets into this because they want money; if you want to be a librarian, or work in any library-adjacent field, it’s because you really care about the values of librarianship, or the people in your community, or preserving and sharing as great a wealth of information as possible. Your job will often be thankless and it’ll sometimes be exhausting. There will be times where it’s actually scary. And unless you’re rich as balls, it will make you stare at your student loans and sigh with despair. (You may be living in your parents’ basement while you sigh at your loans because you can’t afford to live on your own, for an example that has zero relevance to any authors of this blog, living or dead.)  I can’t tell you if it’s worth it -- though you’ll probably find out pretty quickly during your internship, because that’s what internships are for. All I can say is that I love it, and I can’t imagine doing anything else.

#ask forest #libraries #librarianship #information science #career advice #education advice #oh my god this is long #i have a lot of feelings okay? #there is no way on earth anyone will read all of this #if you do tell me bc i will not believe it #Anonymous

[oracularodyssey]

Obscure Hermes Epithets

or at least, obscure in the fact that they either don’t show up on Theoi.com or on general lists of Hermes’ Epithets and Titles I see floating around

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Araios (Areias)

This is found on a Mycenaean tablet (PY Tn 316). As far as I know, this is the only instance of this epithet appearing. It has been suggested to mean a variety of things from an association with Ares / War, suggesting a warlike Hermes, or that it otherwise relates to the Ram, or has the context of being ‘Defender / Protector’.

Psithyristēs

Whisperer - relating to a method of divination involving Hermes, in which one is meant to whisper in the ear of the god’s statue, and then listen to conversations in the marketplace to find an answer. I remember reading that this epithet has other contexts possibly, but I can’t figure out where I had read that unfortunately. Additional insight would be helpful!

Dendrites

Of the trees - found as an epithet of Hermes in the Kato Symi sanctuary of Hermes and Aphrodite in Crete. We know this Hermes was given offerings specific to his role as involved in rites of passage regarding coming of age - rites that were also involved with hunting. I have not seen much discussion on the topic however. I know trees usually symbolize a sense of everlasting life or renewal and can also be linked to fertility. This epithet is also shared by Dionysos.

Kedrites

Of the Cedars - similar to Dendrites, also an epithet found at Kato Symi. Offerings to the god were hung on cedar trees. An interesting thing to note here is that an image of Hermes on mount Kyllene was said to be made out of Juniper, according to Pausanias (which is often commonly considered to be a cedar) and if I recall correctly the greek Kedros can be used to refer to Juniper as well.

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Please share if you know of more! And also, feel free to correct me if you think I’ve gotten any of the info incorrect as I do not have my sources listed for these, just notes I’ve taken down over time.

SOURCES ADDED:

Did a quick google search to find sources to list, here you go:

Hermes a-re-ja (PY Tn 316): a new interpretation by José Marcos Macedo

Hermes the Thief: The Evolution of a Myth by Norman O. Brown

https://www.penn.museum/sites/expedition/a-sanctuary-of-hermes-and-aphrodite-in-crete/

Hermes as Master of Lions at the Syme Sanctuary, Crete by Angeliki Lebessi  

#hermes #hermesdeity