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likeadevils · 4 months

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is there a specific order you like to listen to the red vault tracks in? i’ve been thinking about this a lot ever since 1989 tv came out because the 1989 vault tracks tell such a cohesive story so i’ve been trying to figure out how to do that with the red vault

YES ITS LIKE. THE ALBUM TO REARRANGE FOR ME I GENUINELY HAVENT LISTENED TO THE ORIGINAL TRACKLIST IN YEARS NOW

i think i’ve run through it before but here’s my thoughts on the mains tracklist

state of grace: perfect opener no notes

22: this is and holy ground can switch for me, i think either makes a fantastic track two, but it’s hard to pass up 22 track 2. also i like how the second song and the second to last song parallel each other

treacherous: building off of 22’s “you look like bad news, i gotta have you”

i knew you were trouble: it’s the obvious mirror of treacherous, and also i think it’s important to establish the emotion->exact opposite emotion flip of the tracklist, and treacherous and ikywt are a really obvious example of that

all too well: i mean what else can you choose. also it’s a good flip of ikywt because it’s all the moments where it DIDN'T feel like trouble

wanegbt: “i remember it all too well 😔” -> “I REMEMBER WHEN WE BROKE UP 😡🙄” is just an insane whiplash. ALSO track sixes are such a hard landing to stick and can easily be overshadowed by the track five, and having a song that’s already been released kinda lets the song simultaneously have its moment beforehand and let you kinda check out on your first listen through while you recover from atw

come back be here: i think cbbh really just deserves a main album slot, mostly cause it deserved to be played on tour, but i also think it’s a great whiplash from wanegbt and a great lead in to…

the last time: it takes the more crush-focused aspects of cbbh and plays them out to the bitter end, just that cycle of always leaving and coming back and leaving again. also it’s the end of the first half of the album

red: it’s a great pick me up in the middle of three mellow songs, also i can’t separate this from run which i can’t separate from sad beautiful tragic and i can’t put sad beautiful tragic right before all too well so it needs to be further down the tracklist

run: “loving him was like driving a new maserati down a dead end street” -> “give me the keys, i’ll bring the car back around” makes me go CRAZY

sad beautiful tragic: THE AMOUNT OF PARALLELS WITH RUN IS INSAAAAAAAANE

holy ground: again this is a bit of a floater like i could see an argument for this being track two. and the argument is it goes hard at the start of the red tour

better man: this just needs to be by the end of the album for me. it feels like the start of the summary, wrapping up what we’ve learned and starting the hard work of moving on that the last few tracks will continue

i bet you think about me: that first verse really stretching out the betterrrrr’s after better man is funny. also, after an album of one sided pining in one way or another, it’s just like hey. fuck you. also, at first it kinda bugged me how the last few tracks starts at 4am, then 3am, then the middle of the night, but then i started seeing them as just slowly losing less and less sleep over it, which i kinda love now

nothing new: here is the damage i am left with. even if i move on from this relationship, here is the mindset that will whisper in the back of my mind forever— that i am valuable because of my youth, that my happiness is mockable and my sadness is quaint. this is the thing that led me to the relationship and this is the thing that i will be left with after it

begin again: and then… begin again. choosing happiness, choosing maturity, choosing childlike joy. like, you all know it’s an amazing closer, but after nothing new it just sings

+ forever winter: i think this does add important context to her general mental state? like 22 mentions how everyone is miserable, but really focuses on the highs of being 22. forever winter adds to it, how your peer group is falling apart and even when you are at your worst, you are being someone else's shoulder to lean on. it's not Needed to tell the story, but it is a good bonus.

+ starlight: more good context, especially in taylor's personal life-- as far as i can tell, this is the first song she wrote for red that Wasn't about crash and burn heartbreak, and it really kicked into high gear an obsession with vintage fashion and mid century celebrities that she ended up building part of her personality around. she's not just trying to find her old self again, she's building a new one

+babe: what am i supposed to do, not end the album with this is the last time i'll ever call you babe?

+ state of grace (acoustic), the red demo, and all too well (ten minute version) to get the tracklist to 22 and also fun bts context!

#asks*#claire's versions*

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shoechoe · 1 year

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I just finished Jojolion today. Usually when I liveblog, I like to keep my actual critical thoughts about the story to a minimum and mostly just point out things I think are interesting and funny, but now that I've read the entire thing, I'll share my full opinion of it. (Word count: 1160)

Overall, I had a lot of fun with Jojolion. It has some great moments, themes, and characters, some even being some of my favorites in the entire series, I think. I loved the Higashikata family and how the story was all about them as well as the main theme of family bonds. The story tries to bait you into thinking that they're evil for a while, and some of them flip back and forth between being endearing and being evil, but then you learn to see them as all adorable weirdos just trying to succeed (...except Joshu, who was definitely a shitbag, and Jobin, who was kind of a dark-gray area in terms of villainy). Josuke also fits himself into the dynamic and is gradually accepted by them as part of the family, which was really sweet.

My favorite character in Jojolion is, without a doubt, Yasuho. I'm going to be honest, I think she's one of my favorite characters in the entire series. She was a lot of fun every time she was on screen, I love Paisley Park as an ability, and I just ended up caring about her the most out of any character. I think she and Josuke are really both the main characters; she's given pretty much equal importance to him and they go through arcs that parallel each other. Her backstor(ies) hit me like a truck each time, especially the one with her dysfunctional family and her father.

I also absolutely adored Yasuho and Josuke's relationship with each other. Paralleling Josuke being more obviously alone and unsure of his identity with his total memory loss, Yasuho is left essentially without a family as well due to her living as an only child with a neglectful single mother. Because of that, Josuke and Yasuho really only have each other for most of the story. There's also an obvious romance between the two of them that I actually liked and cared about, which is an accomplishment (usually, romances tend to disinterest me).

Even the characters I didn't like weren't too bad. Joshu was definitely the worst, but the story knew what it was doing with him and he didn't get in the way too much nor was his nonsense shenanigans left unacknowledged. In other words: he got the shit beat out of him constantly and ended up losing a limb by the end, so I'm satisfied. I still feel like his aggressive perverseness was... very unneeded, though.

Rai Mamezuku was another character I disliked. I have been informed by mutuals that he's a fan-liked character, but... I just don't see it, sorry. He was needlessly cruel to Yasuho and even drove a wedge between her and Josuke for a while to make room for a sort-of implied love triangle-thing with Tooru, and I just didn't like it. When he wasn't being a dick to my favorite character, he still wasn't doing anything that made me like him very much.

While there were a couple snags here and there, though, the characters are overall my favorite part of Jojolion. A lot of them were genuinely heart wrenching (Kaato, Jobin, and Tsurugi come to mind) and the relationships between them were really tightly written.

That being said, while the characters were written tightly, the whole of Jojolion was... not. This is where we get into some major issues I had with it: the noticeably worst thing about Jojolion was its story. I get the strong suspicion that there was no real plan here; it was messy and near-incoherent at times, especially towards the end, and it introduced far too many story aspects way too late in that resulted in a strange ending that visibly did not resolve all of the problems it introduced.

Tooru was an interesting concept of a main villain and I can't say I disliked him, but he shows up so randomly at chapter 81 and is only even confirmed to be the main bad guy at the last ten chapters of the story (and he's defeated before the last two of those). He didn't have enough time to introduce himself as a character and just kind of left me with a feeling of "huh?"

The final fight felt the most written-along-the-way out of the entire story. It felt like play-fighting with an annoying kid that keeps making stupid imaginary one-ups and rules to make themselves win. Soft & Wet's "Go Beyond" ability was... what do I even say about it? "Actually, Josuke had this super secret ability nobody ever knew about where he can make invisible bubbles that defy all of reality, including as the perfect counter to Tooru's ability!" What?

Not to mention all of the loose ends that were just... left there? Why do people get Stands when they go near the Wall Eyes? What was with the strange humanoid bite marks they all received? Was Karera Sakunami really intended to show up only once and never come in again? One of the first reasons given for Josuke to acquire the Locacaca fruit was to cure Holy Joestar-Kira's illness, paralleling Holy Joestar's illness in part three, but then Holy goes comatose and every last Locacaca fruit is destroyed, and she's just totally forgotten about with no follow-up as to what happened with her or any sort of resolution to her story. It was confusing and unsatisfying, to say the least.

The ending itself was also kind of odd. While it's nice to see what happened to Lucy Steel and get an alternate-universe Joseph Joestar, the weird fight with a random rock person from the 1940s felt like it was wasting time that could've been spent with a stronger conclusion to the characters we've actually been with the whole time. The very last scenes with the family in tears, yet the generations-long curse finally being broken was nice, but it still left me feeling odd.

I am of the opinion that Jojolion's story was a total mess; I feel like it tried introducing way too much way too late and ended up writing itself in a corner that it couldn't get out of in any satisfying way (and often didn't even get out of at all, in Holy's case). It was confusing to read and its last chapters had me going "Wait, it's ending already? But what about all of the things it totally forgot to clear up? No, don't say 'Part 8 End!!' Nooo!"

Though, if I had to pick between something with a really good story but bad characters vs. something with really good characters and a bad story, I would always pick the latter option. Jojolion's characters, as well as their relationships and arcs, were so good that a lot of them immediately rocketed into my main favorites.

Jojolion isn't bad, in my opinion- it has a lot of great moments, and when it knew what it was doing, it did it well. It just bit off a lot more than it could chew and that resulted in a very messy, though still enjoyable experience.

#jojolion #shoe talks a lot #this is very rambly but i hit all the major things i wanted to say after i read it

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kestrel-of-herran · 2 years

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twenty five twenty one: my favourite lines from ep.13

while we leave baekdo to make out in the snow, i’m coming to you with an attempt to analyze all the lines that made me fangirl in this episode. is my brain as melted as the snowflakes between hee do and yi jin’s lips? absolutely; so this post should be extremely fun.

“is this kind of love unacceptable?”: right from the start, hee do delivers this gut-puncher with her signature honestly and emotional intelligence. i love how this line continues the earlier discussion of what baekdo’s relationship means to both of them, and encapsulates hee do’s current feeling of having done something to overstep, of being too much or not enough.

min chae’s physical presence in the past narrative is breathtaking enough to deserve a place in this post about words. the level of theatrical staging, dramatic irony of the future towards the past, brain-tingling uncanniness, and simple comedy raised the bar for art in any form.

“kiss”: this tiny word-playing scene does a brilliant job of showing hee do’s state of mind, and parallels yi jin’s visually shown reliving of the kiss. while the translations of their feelings are seemingly opposite (words vs image; external expression vs internal disguise), they are of one mind throughout the episode.

“this is my love”: weaving this line as a narrative thread throughout the episode, the show lets hee do process all her complex feelings and still choose to fight for the relationship. while yi jin buries his feelings with the notion that they would lead to disaster, hee do’s open expression of her suffering is her signal that disaster is already happening, and yi jin is the only one who can stop it.

“damn you, alcohol!”: it’s only right that yi jin’s drunken confession reaches jiwoong first, allowing the narrative to bring him to the same level of suffering that he’s causing hee do. his level of dramatics during the drunken confession, down to his phrasing (“and yet, i waver” okay sir may i direct you to a jane austen adaptation casting), is a perfect expression of his character. as we’ve seen from episode four, alcohol makes yi jin honest, and that’s something he knows well enough to try to avoid hee do even more urgently in the second scene where she waits in front of his house.

“liking someone means i can learn about myself”: i want this line framed and exhibited in the louvre because it’s so accurate and still somehow felt like it’s never been acknowledged before. hee do continues to blow me away with how well she understands and represents real aspects of being in love, and the line can be interpreted in both a psychological and physical way, which makes it all the stronger.

“is it because you understand me that you love me?” vs “i don’t understand you. i simply accept you.”: hee do is again hitting the nail on the head with her questions, and you can tell how much courage it takes for her to state the fact of him loving her. there is uncertainty there, informed by yi jin’s current behaviour towards her, but there is also the power to return yi jin’s hidden emotion to the surface by calling it by its name. yi jin’s response is both beautiful, with its meaning that he doesn’t have to get or relate to every facet of hee do’s self to appreciate it, and a reflection of the present situation, where he doesn’t understand why she keeps turning up at his door but accepts her presence as the strange wonder it is.

“i’ll either get it all or lose it all”: once again a brilliant summary of how it feels to take the next step towards the other without knowing if they’re there to catch you. all through this episode, hee do is in free fall, but she keeps her eyes open the entire time, and trusts that she knows who she is falling towards. it’s yi jin who thinks he’s strong enough to stop gravity, and it’s her who proves him wrong.

“you wrote this, didn’t you?”: the fact that hee do knows him well enough to immediately recognize his hand at work speaks volumes, just like his expression when he was looking at her respond to a bully, freak out over stickers, and replay the fencing match to spot her mistakes. there’s something so intimate about this scene, because he sees her as she is when there is no one to be for but herself, and loves her in her wisdom, her joy, and her tenacity.

“we were capable of anything”: including making me cry because it’s such an apt summary of how much their relationship has endured and how far it has come

“i can’t lose it”: what a beautiful way to weave the recurring question of what kind of love they both feel together with hee do’s gambling metaphor before wrapping up both. hee do spends the entire episode losing, but each loss comes after the gamble of a kiss, a confession, a question, a confrontation, an action; and each loss becomes a step towards the tower of self-doubt where yi jin tried to imprison his feelings. like a hero from a fairy tale, hee do had to try to win her true love’s heart three times, each time turning up at the foot of the tower where he lives, and being stopped by a blue wall of thorns. using her words as a weapon of honesty and persuasion, on the third time, she wins.

#twenty five twenty one #2521 #brain is still melted btw

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therealvinelle · 3 years

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I know this is like taking a bat to the beehive but... I really wanna hear your opinions on the whole... Imprinting thing

(Note before we go any further: this meta is written purely about the shapeshifting aspect of the Quileute characters, I don’t at all get into the racism in Twilight or any kind of social commentary. This is a purely watsonian meta. Others in this fandom have already addressed the racial dynamics at play, far more eloquently and knowledgeably than me. If I say something in here that’s in any way offensive, that’s not my intention and I’m open to criticism.)

Ooh imprinting.

I touch upon it here, basically I hate it.

The imprinting is part of this theme where the shapeshifters lose their free will and autonomy, and I find it tragic, cruel, and unnecessary.

First of, the fact that they have to phase at all.

They’re made warriors to protect their tribe. There’s no choice involved, only genetics and magic irrevocably changing their lives, and at a ridiculously young age, too. Sam is the oldest of them, and he is 19.

Violence is an inherent part of what they become. Their purpose is to protect the tribe, by fighting vampires. Not only is this insanely dangerous (we see Jake get so injured by a single vampire that he’s bedridden for weeks), but if they succeed, they will have killed. In the singularly brutal manner of tearing apart and burning someone who looks a lot like a human, who talks and might beg for their life, at that. And I remind you, most of these shapeshifters are literal children. They might not see vampires as people, but all the same, killing one can’t be good for their mental wellbeing. (Thought: Perhaps an argument can be made for Laurent’s death having a part in the turn Jake’s personality took? Some, though not many, of the symptoms for PTSD do fit. I don’t know enough about PTSD to pursue this train of thought, but it occurred to me just now, in particular he becomes quite aggressive and prone to outbursts after that incident, so into a parenthesis it goes)

Not to mention how inhumane that responsibility is. Vampires in the Twilight-verse are terrifying, and the shapeshifters might have the power to fight them. But (and this is where I plug one of my all-time favorite animes, Puella Magi Madoka Magica, as it asks the question “Is it okay to sacrifice yourself for others?” because that’s... well there’s a parallel to be made to the shapeshifters. It’s on Netflix!) does that mean they should? Is it really their responsibility? Again- they’re kids!

Then there’s the time Sam lost control, and accidentally mauled the girl he loved. And it’s so cruel to both him and Emily. Sam never chose to have to control himself in the first place, he never chose shapeshifting. He didn’t choose to imprint on Emily either, and he didn’t choose to lose control that day. At no point in the series of events that led to Emily being mauled did Sam have any real choice, and yet he will shoulder the guilt for what happened for the rest of his life.

These kids get superpowers, and several of them seem to enjoy being shapeshifters, but the fact remains that they now carry this huge responsibility to protect their families and homes, doing so is incredibly dangerous, they lose out on their regular lives, and they can’t opt out of it.

This all sucks, but then we get to the fact that they are deprived of their free will, as their alpha can issue an order they physically can’t break. The alpha becomes alpha because of bloodlines, not because of a democratic election. Jake got a mockery of a choice in that he could choose to become alpha himself, or let Sam continue, which was really just choosing between a rock and a hard place. There is no limitation to what this order can be, from “don’t say X to person Y” to “let’s kill someone you love”. Jake has to struggle to break that last one, and he’s only successful because of the bloodline thing letting him become his own alpha.

Oh, and there’s the massive invasion of privacy when they have a hive mind. Cool concept, less cool to have it be reality. Leah is the poster child for how a hive mind can backfire, and they can’t opt out of this.

I’m not good at gifs, but the shapeshifters just make me think of that gif of someone flicking a lightswitch on and off, “WELCOME TO HELL!”. Of course, Twilight in general is a pit of despair for everybody, so I suppose that gif really is... well it sums up all of canon.

So, we have these kids aged 19 or younger, as of Breaking Dawn they skew as young as thirteen, their lives are turned upside down by something they can’t opt out of, they must shoulder this huge responsibility to protect their homes and families from the terrifying threat of vampires, and on top of all of that, they must obey orders that are so irresistible, they can compel them to harm someone they care for.

With all of that in mind, you’d think that the shapeshifters had enough on their plate. That through all of this they would at least retain their selves, and be able to look forward to a future where they could stop phasing, and go on to live normal, human, lives.

Yeah, NOT IF THEY IMPRINT.

I’ll just quote Jake’s description:

Everything inside me came undone as I stared at the tiny porcelain face of the halfvampire, half-human baby. All the lines that held me to my life were sliced apart in swift cuts, like clipping the strings to a bunch of balloons. Everything that made me who I was—my love for the dead girl upstairs, my love for my father, my loyalty to my new pack, the love for my other brothers, my hatred for my enemies, my home, my name, my self—disconnected from me in that second—snip, snip, snip—and floated up into space.

I was not left drifting. A new string held me where I was.

Not one string, but a million. Not strings, but steel cables. A million steel cables all tying me to one thing—to the very center of the universe.

I could see that now—how the universe swirled around this one point. I’d never seen the symmetry of the universe before, but now it was plain.

The gravity of the earth no longer tied me to the place where I stood. (Breaking Dawn, page 237)

Everything that made me who I was disconnected from me.

Jake’s love for his father, his home, his very own self, it’s all gone now. And while I have thoughts on the authenticity of this imprint, whether it was organic, the description above is apparently how imprinting feels. It’s along the lines of what Sam, Jared, and Paul all describe.

I don’t think I can put into words just how devastating I find imprinting, I think the above quotation speaks for itself. And as with all other shapeshifter things, there is no choice involved.

We see its devastating effects in the Emily, Sam, and Leah debacle. Sam and Leah were serious together, so much so that they were engaged. Sam had fallen for and chosen to be with Leah. Perhaps they would have broken up eventually, but Leah was still the choice he made. Then he imprints on Emily, and all that is for naught. He had to break up with Leah, who if she hadn’t phased never would have learned why, Emily and Leah’s relationship is ruined, and Emily must forever live with the knowledge that if Sam had his free will intact he would be with another woman.

Then there’s Jared and Kim. Kim crushed on Jared, but Jared never noticed her. The fact that they were in the same class is damning: if a boy is attracted to a girl, he's gonna notice her. Jared never did.

Quil imprints on Claire, who is a toddler. That’s just a recipe for misery and disaster all around.

And I’ve only touched the shapeshifter side of things. They lose their autonomy and freedom, but the imprintées draw the short straw too. They’re now responsible for this other person’s happiness. Sure, having someone who’ll be whatever you need them to be sounds nice (well, it sounds horrifying, but I’m playing ball) on paper, but you can’t opt out of them being like that. The imprintée can’t say “Sorry, not interested,” and she certainly can’t shut the imprinter out of her life, not without irrevocably ruining the imprinter’s life. The imprinter needs her. She’s the center of his earth now, but she didn’t choose to be.

Imprinting is a liferuiner for everyone involved.

Then we have the question of what imprinting is even for. I’m afraid I agree with Billy, that it’s for procreation. We see Sam, who was dating a woman about to phase (even if Leah isn’t infertile, she’s a warrior now. She can’t run in the woods and fight vampires, and gestate and nurse a child at the same time) conveniently imprint on her cousin, who as cousin to Leah is from a shifter bloodline. Claire, as Emily’s cousin, has those same genetics. Paul imprints on a woman from the Black family line. Jake is the outlier, but either Renesmée’s gift helped that imprinting along, or he imprinted because of the offspring they could potentially have (I firmly believe it’s the former because the latter... NOPE. Also, I can’t imagine whatever magic drives imprinting would want vampiric progeny for the future generations. Regardless of Renesmée’s person, her biology is wired to desire human blood. That’s exactly what Jake is supposed to protect people from. Bad match.).

I just.... ughhh. God, I hate imprinting so much, and on every level.

To me, everything about the shapeshifters is about free will, autonomy, and the loss thereof. And it would have been beautiful if their story was about reclaiming that, but it isn’t. None of this, with the exception of the alpha orders, is even acknowledged.

So, in summation, yes I hate imprinting, but it’s only the horror cherry on top of a very sad and problematic cake.

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guardianspirits13 · 3 years

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I wanna talk about Natsuo Todoroki for a second here.

tw// mentions of abuse, self harm, and suicide

Natsuo visibly has the most emotional trauma out of anyone else in his family (Touya not included), and I really wanna talk about why that is.

For starters, we haven't seen him really smile since he was introduced in chapter 187. He's introduced as having a friendly, easygoing persona and it's easy to imagine this is how most people outside of his family know him. However, every time we see him appear since then, another layer of his trauma is revealed and expanded upon, and it cuts DEEP.

I think the main reason that Natsuo still seems so vulnerable compared to the rest of his family is different than what you'd assume. Fuyumi and Shouto both spend a lot of time around Endeavor, and have been in close proximity to his (relatively recent) decision to atone. They have seen his growth firsthand and come to terms with it. Rei has obviously taken a very different path to healing- not entirely voluntarily- but she has been working with doctors and therapists for years to change and recover and reconnect with herself and her children. Natsuo is off at college, and takes every opportunity he can to avoid Endeavor. He (understandably) wants nothing to do with him, and shows stagnant resistance to his attempts to atone.

The reason why Natsuo can't move on from the past is because his trauma didn't come from Endeavor. It came from Touya.

Now initially we were led to believe that it was simply Touya's untimely death that still bothers Natsuo, and it makes sense seeing how Endeavor drove him to the edge. Losing his best friend and brother as a young kid without parents to support him or any therapist to speak of can absolutely been the source of persistent emotional damage, but the more and more we learn about Touya's situation, the more evident it becomes that Natsuo's trauma is much much deeper than even grief.

Touya, as we know, was driven by an ambition instilled in him by his father and experienced extreme rejection sensitivity when those ambitions were no longer realistic. Touya's relationship with his parents could be described as insecure attachment, a psychological term primarily regarding how kids react and respond to their parents and other close relationships. As he was raised, Touya learned to equate his potential to be a hero with his personal worth and similarly confounded attention with love. The difference being, of course, that love is unconditional, but even attention was being continually directed away from him as a punishment for continuing to train and burn himself so he could once again become worthy in his fathers' eyes.

This is where Natsuo comes in. At first it was assumed that all of the Todoroki children were born out of Endeavor's strong-willed desire to have a child that could surpass All Might, but we learned that this isn't exactly the case. I'd argue that it was narratively poetic on Horikoshi's part once this was expanded upon. Fuyumi was born to support and encourage her brother, and that is the exact role she plays 23 years later, keeping her family together.

Natsuo's case is even more intersting.

It was bad enough if Natsuo was only born for the potential of his quirk, but it's even more sinister that the sole intent behind his birth was to discourage Touya from his ambitions. I'd say it was to replace him, but it was more to promote the idea that Touya was expendable than to raise aonther kid with the same ideals but the potential to actually achieve it, although that was definitely a secondary motivation.

The parallelism in this is how much Natsuo's life revolves around Touya. He was born because of Touya, he looked up to and took care of Touya as a kid, and the absence of Touya in the present continues to drive him and his decisions in life (but more on that later).

I continue to pray that we will eventually get more solid backstory on Natsuo and Touya's relationship as kids and where it cut off, wether on a bad note or not, but there are a few things we know for certain. One, Touya was mentally ill. Yes, he was rejected by his parents but he seems to have been particularly vulnerable to this compared to any of his siblings since he was the first of them and thus relied only on his parents for validation in his early years. He shows early signs of a variety of different mental disorders, particularly BPD, which I have previously written a whole analysis for on its own. Touya is shown self-harming both by the very nature of his quirk and even by very directly ripping his hair out. He was incredibly self-destructive.

This is why it is so much more concerning to me that Natsuo, who was AT LEAST four years younger than him, was his primary source of comfort. Natsuo was too young to have known anything more than 'my big brother is sad that daddy won't train him anymore' and he obviously wasn't equipped in any way to handle Touya's severe mental illness. Touya most definitely needed professional treaatment as his forms of coping were abnormal even for the neglect and rejection that he experienced. Natsuo comforted Touya through breakdown after breakdown, and more than that Touya relied on him and came to him voluntarily for support. Natsuo was the best option he had, and he took full advantage of that. The main source of Natsuo's trauma was Touya's reliance on him.

Not to say at all that this was in any way Touya's fault- he was mentally ill and desperately in need of some form of comfort to keep him sane; it was almost a survival method at this point since neither of his parents really acknowleged him at all anymore. Touya's instability hurt Natsuo more than parental neglect ever did, but it was the neglect that enabled it and striped Touya of the supportive atmosphere he would have needed at this point not only to prevent but to heal from the mental damage he had already suffered.

Natsuo dealt with this for years and you can see how much it hurt him to see Touya in so much pain, not only from Endeavor's rejection but from his own self harm as well. For Natuso to know that his brotherly love would never be the same as having loving parents; would neve be enough- but at least it was something so he continued to love and care about his brother for little in return- is indicative of the kind of character he is.

(Edit: After the events of chapter 302 we know that Natsuo's relationship with Touya wasn't perfect. I will elaborate more on this in a different post, but I just wanted to clarify that although we were shown a very high-tension scene between them, it is implied that this was a regular occurrence that Natsuo was usually more receptive too but tired out of, in addition to Touya's spiraling mental health. It fit with the natrative to show the tension Touya was feeling with his family from all directions, but Natsu and Touya clearly had a stronger relationship up to and before this point, evidenced by their sharing a room and playing together regularly.)

He is incredibly selfless, and it's interesting to note how many of his positive qualities as an adult stem from negative experiences as a kid. He never really felt love from his parents, so he relied on Touya (and likely also Fuyumi) for that as well. If he grew up learning he had to give love in order to recieve it back, it absolutely influenced who he became in the future, a solid example of this being the responsibility he feels to reach out and have a relationship with Shouto and further regrets that he wasn't able to help his abuse in the past either. Another aspect of his character that intruigues me is how gentle he is. Personality-wise he seems about as opposite as he could be from the awkward, stoic, emotionally-stunted person that is Endeavor.

There are a couple of reasons for this, beyond what I've already discussed.

One, he had little to no contact with elements of toxic masculinity growing up, especially not from Endeavor.

Two, most of the influence he did have growing up was from Fuyumi, who is established to have endlessly cared for him since he was a literal baby.

Three, he grew up in a household where almost everyone around him was in much more literal, immediate pain than he was so he developed a very strong sense of empathy that might also have been tied to early survivor's guilt.

Now I have one important distinction to make, and that's the temptation to label him as a 'softboy' or something of the like after seeing him caring for his family and more pointedly, watching him break down in tears during chapter 252. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with men being soft or vulnerable (on the contrary it's actually so so important and relevant that Hori is writing characters like this in a mainstream shounen manga but that's an essay for another time), it is unfair to label him as such based on a moment when his trauma is being exposed.

Because his truama stems from such a young age, there is a blurry line between just being born with more emotional intelligence and the situation he was in fostering those traits. You know, the classic nature/nurture thing. My point being, it's important to tread carefully when discussing the nature of his personality to avoid invalidating his trauma; I have no doubt that he is very strong for having survived these things, and the moments we see of him onscreen are definitely among his most vulnerable.

Another thing that people less familiar with Natsuo's character might assume is that he is hot-headed and argumentative. I thought that at first too- after all, he doesn't seem to shy away from yelling at Endeavor when given the opportunity. However, this doesn't seem to be the case at all.

The first real scene we see him in with Endeavor, the man walks into the room and Natsuo decides he can't handle it and goes to leave. However, Endeavor happens to be blocking the doorway. Endeavor physically stops him and provokes him to his face, asking him to say whatever is on him mind. While Natsuo is notably not confrontational, Endeavor is. I think it's fair to say that he felt at least uneasy at this gesture. Natsuo is very honest with his feelings, and it's obvious that he's pissed at the audacity of Endeavor to be so oblivious to his own son. This is presumably one of the first real interactions they've ever really had, and at this point Natsuo has been dealing with trauma (caused by Endeavor!) on his own for years, and Endeavor seems completely oblivious to his pain and dismmisive to the rest of the family's as well.

Again during the internship arc Natsuo tries to get along with Endeavor and this time he actually gives it a fleeting chance. Tensions are high, however, and the conversation very quickly becomes uncomfortable, at which point he leaves. It is continually implied that Natsuo is uncomfortable being around Endeavor because his very presence brings up painful thoughts and memories of a time when sharing the same space as him was a warning to run and hide. This is later directly confirmed by Natsuo as he says that every time he looks at Endeavor's face he remembers Touya and the pain he was in.

I feel like an important side note is that we have never seen Natsuo outside the context of his family, which is understandable, as the role he plays in the story directly relates to them. However, if you take a look at Shouto, even though his experiences have shaped him to become who he is, he definitely acts differently when Endeavor's not in the vicinity.

Back to Touya's death, it would be very rare that someone would mourn a death for an entire decade without finding closure unless there are other factors preventing it, and uncomfortably this seems to be the same thing for both Natsuo and Endeavor: guilt.

This is getting incredibly long already, but it's important to note that Natsuo probably felt an incredible responsibility to take care of Touya and protect him because of his empathetic nature. His love was never going to be the same as having loving parents. His encouragement was never going to be the same as having support from Endeavor. Even further than then neglect and abandonement, it was not being able to save Touya that really made Natsuo feel worthless.

He seems to try and remedy this inability to save Touya and diminish his guilt by doing everything he can to be better. He reaches out to Shouto to be a better brother, he consistently pushes his limits to entertain Fuyumi's notion of a happy family, and he's working hard towards a degree rhat will allow him to help people like Touya (and Rei) because he failed to do so in the past.

His bio mildly implies that he didn't have much of a direction he was heading in after high school, but Fuyumi's encouragement led him to seek out his current college career. This goes back to Natsuo's 'purpose' in a sense revolving arount Touya, from his birth to his relationship with him to his death, after which he lost his direction. They were always rather inseperable, so naturally their seperation hit Natsuo hard. He lost his direction in life so when Fuyumi encouraged him to rediscover it, he thought of helping people, because that's ultimately what he was born to do.

Thank you so, so much for reading this if you made it to the end! I clearly have a lot of thoughts on this. Let me know what you think about it as well, and hopefully we'll get more info on this soon in the manga :)

#bnha 203 #bnha spoilers #long post #natsuo todoroki #todoroki natsuo #bnha meta #mymeta #todoroki touya

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deci-doodles · 3 years

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Now that the 2.0 trailer is out I can finally start dissecting the trailer with way more intensity than necessary for as many lore crumbs as possible but before all that:

Mondstadt’s the city of freedom, we see this when Venti lets Dvalin go as one of the Four Winds as freedom isn’t really that when a god is ordering you

Liyue had its contracts, the adepti fulfilling theirs despite Morax’s supposed death and Zhongli creating his “contract to end all contracts” with the Tsaritsa

But what of eternity? That’s not really an ideal, not to mention it’s such a vague one too. So I’m gonna upload my write up on Baal I did a few days ago for my interpretation of what eternity is meant to be and her potential motivations to pursue it

(TLDR: Baal isn’t inherently malevolent and her eternity’s a bastardised version of Nirvana, but she’ll never be able to achieve it because she misunderstands it and it’ll only do more harm than good)

Buddhism is one of the biggest religions in Japan (as the saying goes, Japanese people are born Shinto, married Christian, and die Buddhist). As such it should come as little surprise that it also has had a huge impact on Japan’s culture. In fact, we can see this with the most famous floral symbol of Japan, the cherry blossom.

Now I know what you’re thinking, what do cherry blossoms have to do with Baal? Well we’ll cross that bridge when we get there, just be patient.

Cherry blossoms are also synonymous with ‘mono no aware’ (the pathos of things), something derived from Zen Buddhist teachings and described as a “gentle sadness” from the acknowledgement of life’s transience. In fact, you’ll notice that a lot of Japanese culture and values can be linked to transience and imperfection, from Hanami and wabi-sabi to kintsugi. This can all be linked to Buddhism. Now to blasphemously simplify an entire religion into a single sentence(I’d recommend doing further research if you’re curious, I’m not a practitioner so I don’t recommend asking me), Buddhism’s “aim” is to break Samsara (the cycle of death and rebirth), and the only way to do this is to achieve Nirvana (enlightenment).

So where am I going with this? Well, what if Baal’s “eternity” is simply her equivalent to Nirvana?

Think about it, because all living things are trapped by Samsara, they are doomed to live transient lives, dying and being born again before dying and so on.

This certainly wouldn’t be the first time Mihoyo’s nabbed inspiration from religions, the folks over on Khaenri’ah have done a fine job analysing various instances on their Twitter. Baal thinks highly of her ideal as shown in both the Vajrada Amethyst stone and the quote from Zhongli: “Seven ideals for seven gods, and of these, Eternity is the closest unto heaven”. Nirvana is enlightenment, it is freedom, it is what allows one to transcend beyond the material world and finally be liberated from samsara, so it shouldn’t be a stretch to assume that this is what Baal means by “eternity”, especially since it directly opposes transience. But still, why would Baal take such extreme measures? And is she in the right here?

Let’s start off with first question and the vision hunt decree itself. The decree’s a direct reference to the various sword hunt decrees in Japan’s history but what’s interesting is that Inazuma’s can be linked to the sword hunt under Toyotomi Hideyoshi where the confiscated weapons were to be melted and cast into a giant statue of the Buddha. In a similar fashion, Baal is in laying the statue of the “Thousand-armed, hundred-eyes god”’s palms with confiscated visions. This also leads to yet another Buddhist parallel.

The Bodhissatva Kannon (also known as Guanyin) is the goddess of mercy, and one of her most popular depictions in Japan is the thousand-armed Kannon (Senju Kannon), who grew 1000 arms out of her desire to help free everyone from samsara. Sounds familiar doesn’t it? Like how Baal wishes to achieve the “eternity” that she promised her people. 1000-armed Kannon was also sometimes depicted with eyes in the palms of her hands, and where is Baal placing the confiscated visions again? That’s right, the statue’s palms.

But still, can we use this to justify the actions she’s taken? Baal may believe her intentions are noble but they’re also heavily flawed. Let’s rewind a bit, transience is a huge metaphor in Japan and thus it should come as little surprise that it’s also reflected in Inazuma.

- Kazuha’s main motif is maple, a deciduous tree associated with autumn, both being symbols of change as autumn is a transitional season and maple leaves fall

- Ayaka’s shown with cherry blossoms, but also her clan mon (crest) depicts a camellia flower (tsubaki). Camellias are associated with divinity but also a noble death as the flowers “decapitate” themselves

- Yoimiya has a firework theme, fireworks themselves last briefly but shine bright nevertheless. Her choker is also a butterfly, an insect synonymous with change

- Sayu’s kimono has bellflower patterns, bellflowers being one of the ‘seven autumn flowers’ and, again, autumn is a season of change

- Even Baal herself is the electro archon, storms never last forever and lightning (Inazuma’s namesake mind you) is also extremely brief

So where am I going with this? Well there’s another aspect of Buddhism that I left out. When one reincarnates, there are six possible realms you may go to depending on your karma: hell, hungry ghosts, animals, demi-gods, humans, and gods. Only those who reincarnate as humans have the opportunity to achieve nirvana. Baal’s obsession with eternity is only doing more harm than good regardless of her intentions because she fails to truly understand both the beauty that transience holds as well as transient mortals themselves. Her ideal directly contradicts Inazuma itself, so even though she may love her nation and it’s people oh so fiercely, the more she pursues “eternity”, the more she’ll fail to truly help her people. We’ve already seen this through Kazuha and Atsuko, the former losing his friend when he decided to make a stand and the latter nearly dying as she escaped. People have already drawn connections between her and Decarabian, and it seems that if she continues her path she may meet a similar demise to him.

#genshin impact #genshin baal #Genshin analysis #Genshin theory #Raiden shogun #Inazuma #watch this get obliterated by canon wHEEZE

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listless-brainrot · 3 years

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Hi! I know you love Haru and I'd love to hear your thoughts on what his personality is like? Not his bending or his ships, but just what kind of person he is. He was super undeveloped in ATLA and I'd love to understand him better and write about him!

hey, i'm glad you asked!! super flattering to have you come to me in regards to this question, and i've analyzed this guy to hell and back over the course of nearly a year now, so i'd be more than happy to give you my characterization of him

granted, it's pretty lengthy, and is heavily based on canon, hence why a lot of it ties to his bending, but i'll try my best to make it so that it's more about haru as a person, rather than his service to the plot

also makes me super happy to hear that people do want to understand and write about him!! that really does mean the world to me particularly, so thank you <3

with all of this in mind, here's a collection of my (pretty lengthy, sorry about that) thoughts:

haru being super undeveloped is actually one of the reasons why i find him so compelling- there’s so much you can do with a character of his caliber because there’s not much canon/supplementary material that can discredit your characterizations. canon, however, does actually supply a characterization of him that i’ve managed to compile and accrue over the course of finding nearly every single little detail i can find pertaining to him. this includes his canon episodes in both book 1 and 3, the videogame he appears in (which is straight up called avatar: the last airbender), and even the silly shorts.

(mild disclaimer, i know full well that the latter two i mentioned are considered non canon, but i like incorporating little bits and pieces of what they have to offer, as i don’t really have any other options. also, the videogames are the only supplementary material where he’s treated as a part of the gaang, so it’s the most personality you’ll ever get.)

i’ll start with main characteristics i try to keep in mind when writing him, and then talk about smaller, more innocuous details that i just find particularly fitting for him.

haru is:

emotionally driven. a lot of his decisions are more driven by emotion, rather than logic. this ties in with his impulsivity and morality. he’s aggravated by his position in the village as the only earthbender left, and this culminates into him still bending discreetly despite the inherent risk. he does this not only for himself, but to preserve the (possibly only) emotional connection he has to his arrested father. this is a similarity he shares with katara, who’s emotionally tied to her mother due to losing her, and haru is the one to understand what that loss really means in this interaction: “this necklace is all i have left of her.” “it’s not enough, is it?” by saying this instead of an apology or some other response, he shows that the feeling of loss she’s experiencing is mutually understood in a way that goes beyond just sympathy. there is nothing that will replace who you’ve lost other than the person themselves, and he understand that more than anyone. it’s also implied that haru doesn’t know if his father is still alive, as no one knows where the prisoners go, but it’s clear that he still holds a sort of hope that he’s somewhere out there, and that keeps him going. it just takes a little bit of outside influence for him to fully believe in that, as well as being reunited with his father again. in general, he’s also pretty receptive of other’s emotions, and is quick to come to their aid.

impulsive. not just impulsive, either- he’s got anger and resentment lying beneath his quiet composure. it’s not as bad as characters such as zuko’s, but it’s still worth mentioning. i’ll mention the impulse part first, though- generally speaking, haru reacts faster than he thinks. upon being spotted practicing his bending by katara, he runs away without pausing to consider the harmful repercussions of being found out (nor followed home). he not only runs away from danger as a first instinct, he also runs towards it in some cases, ironically enough- he’s the first one to notice and immediately run towards the mines once he hears/sees the explosion and suspects that someone’s in trouble. he does this without any prompting by katara, even if the act of actually saving the old man needed some egging on from her in order for him to accomplish. his impulsivity comes to a head in the form of his most dangerous act- him attacking the warden. i’ve already elaborated on that specific interaction here, though i will once again emphasize that haru had absolutely no plans past attacking the warden based on his body language, further fueling the idea that this was just a split second decision, one made on nothing but complete and utter impulse. to bring the anger aspect into this, he’s also unable to hold his tongue and insults the fire nation soldiers and even his town once the former leaves, and his instincts swing wildly between running and fighting on a dime with little in-between.

adaptable. instead of completely shutting down in the face of such a negative situation (and over the course of five years, no less), he brings it upon himself to practice bending, accept his role as man of the house and work in both the shop and on the farm, and other responsibilities that go unmentioned, especially when taking into account that his father is apparently the leader of his village. this is where you could start paralleling him well to sokka, which i have done before, but i will make this more haru-oriented. there is definitely a lot more to be inferred with this particular aspect of him, but i will say that it takes someone of strong will to adapt to the situations presented in his episode, and learning to live with the grim reality of fire nation occupation. to run down what we see again- soldiers freely patrolling the villages, soldiers overtaxing the villagers, soldiers entering wherever they wish unannounced, soldiers stealing away people in the night without much resistance, soldiers forcing villagers to work in the coal mines to gather the coal needed for their ships, and soldiers forcing captured earthbenders to build fire nation ships. this is all off of the top of my head, so i could be missing a lot, but again, seeing haru still be as morally oriented and determined as he is after all of this, it’s pretty impressive and telling of his adaptive capabilities. to take this one step further, he’s also extremely adaptable when it comes to working with others, as in the games he fills his role as a necessary component of the gaang without conflicting sokka or other preexisting roles, and in book 3, he finds his place amongst teo and the duke, taking the most initiative amongst the three.

lonely. a snippet from his personality bio on avatarspirit.net calls him “lonely and brave”, and i think that’s especially fitting for his character. he only had his mom for five whole years after every other earthbender was taken away, and this is without mentioning the ostracization he faced simply being one, given how the fire nation constantly demoralizes his country’s benders and likens them to savages. the village he lives in also appears to be full of old folks, so it’s not very likely that he had friends his age that were even in town, especially if we consider the circumstances of following book 2 episodes with the earth army recruiters. (it’s also unlikely that his friends are alive if they did join the army- take a gander at this line from zuko alone: Gow: Just thought someone ought to tell you, your son's battalion got captured. You boys hear what the Fire Nation did with their last group of Earth Kingdom prisoners? Soldier: Dressed them up in Fire Nation uniforms and put them on the frontline unarmed, way I heard it. Then they just watched.) furthermore, it’s not likely that haru could’ve left his little village prior to its occupation- the games imply he’d been to omashu previously, but the circumstances of the war make this unlikely, unless he was super young. given his not always pleasant attitude and sullen expression we sometimes see him with, it’s not hard to imagine that the effects of him being so alone without the connections he needs has affected him deeply.

some other things:

-he’s horrible at lying (”they’re crazy! i mean, just look at how they’re dressed” is that really the best excuse you could’ve come up with??). -he doesn’t like keeping his hands/arms still (arms are usually crossed, sometimes gestures as he talks, hands usually balled as if expecting a fight). -he’s pretty outwardly expressive (for someone who’s supposed to be hiding most of the time, he tends to wear his emotions/intentions on his sleeve). -he can’t bite his tongue (especially when it comes to something that goes against his personal beliefs). -he doesn’t know how to react to touch (katara hugging him takes him by surprise both times, and he doesn’t reciprocate often, if anything he reacts stiffly) -he’s particular about his appearance (notably in the games, he makes negative comments about people touching his hair, and there’s also. sokka’s comments in book 3. sigh.) -he’s considered dangerous/sensitive by others (note sokka’s comments in book 1, and katara’s comments in the school time shipping short) -he lives a busy personal life (works both in the family shop and on the family farm, and has probably had to work in the coal mines at some point, though this is speculative) -he’s not above poking/having fun (in the games, he’s not above making fun of sokka and his comments about benders, and jumps at the opportunity to ride the omashu mail chutes) -he’s family oriented (count how many times he talks about his parents, it is many times i assure you, it’s important to note that he’s one of the few atla characters to actually have both parents as well as a decent relationship with them) -he has a tendency to idealize. he talks about his father fighting against the fire nation even when horribly outnumbered. it wouldn’t be surprising if he idealized the ideal of rebellion (which would later bite him given that:) -he’s a part of the first successful earth kingdom rebellion. this is mentioned on the wiki, and is unfortunately not shown in the show. it should’ve been, though. -he’s dramatic. he has an entire cliff he brings katara up to just to be dramatic and spill his sad backstory. he needs to be encouraged to save the old man, but he does it in the most dramatic way possible- he really didn’t have to stop the entire avalanche AND push it back into the mines. drama king. -he is very lucky. this can apply to anyone who encounters the gaang, but honestly, given his personality and a few things i’ve mentioned above, it’s a miracle that he’d survived as long as he did without detection nor suspicion. -he’s creative. (this one is much more speculative, but he does create huge statues of katara and ty lee pretty quickly, maybe he’s done similar things before)

to summarize: he’s a lonely impulsive idealist who isn’t afraid to throw hands if necessary and is also very attached to his dad <3 his connection to his dad makes up at least 75% of his personality

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shimmershae · 3 years

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My thoughts on Caryl canon--as if you lovelies actually asked, lol, go a little something like this.

We’re getting a spin-off.

I know the antis and the haters are doing whatever is in their limited, petty ass power to sink said spin-off and who knows? Maybe they will somehow succeed (highly doubtful). But they can piss and moan about it all they want and they still will not be able to change the fact that a spin-off is and has been planned.

To hear Kang and Norman and Melissa talk, it’s been in the planning stages for quite awhile.

Coincidentally (I think not), Carol’s story (Daryl’s too but I’m going to focus more on Carol here) started to become a little more defined around the time that this spin-off idea was born. It might not have been obvious at the time, maybe it still isn’t quite yet--we’ve been burned so much over the years--but Kang pumped the brakes and reversed course on a storyline that has seen Carol sentenced to continually rolling a stone up a steep hill for what has felt like all eternity. She started dismantling the relationship between Carol and EZ really before it found its feet and not only that? She cut the anchor of Henry from around Carol’s ankle.

Now at first, the deconstruction of the Kingdom family unit seemed like more of the same, essentially another misery arc for Carol, and to a certain extent it was. But the thing is?

Kang might have shoved Carol harshly to the ground and given her a kick for good measure, several in fact, but something that might be lost a bit in the shuffle of everybody crying this is nothing but rinse and repeat of the same old, same old, is the fact that Carol has clawed her way out of yet another abyss and whether she’s wanted to or not, she’s starting to feel it. All the losses she’s endured along the way, and she’s learning how to stand on her feet and rise in spite of them.

All those little boxes she’s shoved her past traumas into are popping open one by one and the ghosts are spilling out and she’s having to face them head on and that’s just as much thanks to Daryl as anything else because he’s been right there with her.

Daryl, who she sees. Daryl, who she can’t lose.

The above statements have always been true, but Kang’s added another little wrinkle to this relationship.

Daryl, who Carol dreams about a life of domestic peace with.

It’s a shift in Carol’s perception of Daryl’s role/potential role in her life that’s perhaps too subtle for some. Or maybe, just maybe, it was the first warning shot to them. The one that made them sit up and take notice.

I know which one I think it was. Do you?

Remember. The spin-off had already been conceived at this point. The groundwork to lead these two out of their status quo had already been started. That’s important. That nugget informs everything that’s unfolded onscreen since.

Leadership was thrust upon Daryl in the latter part of Season 9 and the whole of Season 10 and he rose to meet that mantle, but through all of that? Carol and her mental, emotional, and physical well-being remained a priority to him.

What’s more, Daryl Dixon ‘manned up’ and stepped outside of his comfort zone. He found his words and used them to tell Carol all the different ways that he could without shoving them both off of a precipice they weren’t completely ready for how he felt.

Seriously. How much more explicit can you get than “we have a future?” Than offering multiple times to run away together?

Those weren’t just aimless shots in the dark, although many took them to be. We all know who they are.

Again, we’re getting a spin-off. It’s in the planning stages at least. Kang might not have all the pit stops mapped out but I do think she’s got a general destination in mind. She’s just making a few stops to fuel up and get supplies first.

Let me ask ya’ll something. To any outsider, anybody that might live underneath a rock and might not have seen an actual episode of TWD, how do you think this plot might read to them? Without any physical descriptors, without knowing these two characters’ history as longtime friends and even with knowing it, what do you think they might glean from the fact that Kang has chosen to lead them back to each other? That she has chosen to emphasize the strength of their bond before pushing at its limits until it is so strained it has no choice but to either break permanently or weave itself tighter together with a new type of thread?

Once again, I am going to remind anybody reading this that there is a spin-off in the works. A spin-off featuring Carol AND Daryl.

Carol and Daryl’s relationship over the years and seasons has evolved from strangers to friends to best friends and now? Now they seem to be standing at the edge of a cliff staring into the unknown because seemingly Kang has decided to deconstruct their relationship. She’s in the process of breaking it down into its base parts right now and causing Carol in particular to really examine what it is that she wants.

She’s already given us all, Carol included, hints along the way.

She’s paralleled these two characters’ separate journeys to each others’ sides.

We’re ten years in. With a spin-off impending and a bit of a been there, done that aspect hovering over the whole Carol and Daryl friendship, does anybody other than the antis and haters really and truly believe that Kang is deconstructing Carol and Daryl’s relationship only to return it to its original state?

Does anybody really believe that there aren’t various romantic tropes being employed here? That this story is being framed in anything other than an unabashedly shippy way? Seriously. How many fucking times has the sheer LONGING between these two jumped literally out of the screen and attacked us with its intensity?

Pining has taken on a whole new meaning and yet, there are so many still (willfully) blind.

Or maybe they’re not as blind as they claim. Maybe they see the writing on the wall that so many that have actually longed for Carol and Daryl to take this step are afraid to really hope for and that’s why they are big time mad and ramping up their efforts to delegitimize romantic Carol and Daryl before it can be an undeniable reality. Maybe that’s why so many of them are having hissy tizzy fits over a spin-off that was born in spite of what they claim is their majority.

My personal opinion is too many exposed nerves are being hit and hit rather forcefully with a narrative that is becoming more overtly romantic all the time.

Kang is bright-lighting us all with Caryl canon and because of past events some of fandom is still too stunned to see it coming.

The rest sees it but some of them are still in big time denial. They think they can keep speeding ahead and force it to swerve completely off the road.

I don’t know about ya’ll but I’m going to respectfully pull over to the side of the road, do a U-turn, and follow these two to New Mexico and beyond.

#The Walking Dead #Caryl #Carol x Daryl #Carol Peletier #Daryl Dixon #Melissa McBride #Norman Reedus #gorgeous people #my precious babies in love #things that make me smile

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sprawa-przybyszewskiej · 3 years

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Gnostic inspirations in Przybyszewska’s works

At the highest point of her intellectual life, Stanisława Przybyszewska spent over 12 hours each day simply on writing her own works, continously, and with maniacal care, educating herself on absolutely everything (she was constantly looking for fields in which she might be a natural genius) and she rarely did anything else at all, which included things like earning a wage or sweeping her own floors. The effect of such existence was of course that she was severely depressed, but also thoroughly educated. It means that traces of whatever matter from history or philosophy can be spotted in her works, are most likely intentional and put there exactly with the hopes of showing her erudice.

One of such matters was gnosticism. Gnosticism is a set of beliefs which put emphasis on obtaining liberation from this life through gnosis (knowledge) and cast aside all that is not of the mind – so not only the flesh, but also the spirit. Without going into details of some specific gnostic rite it is simpler to say that gnostics value gnosis higher than any of their base beliefs and teachings (in Europe gnostics are mostly mentioned in relation to early christianity, Cathars are an example of this). Then the contrast one can find within religion (for example sin and liberation from it) is replaced with earthly illusion and gnosis, which frees one from the illusion and guarantees a higher level of life, of sorts (in gnostic beliefs, our presence on Earth is not linear, leading from birth, through life and death to afterlife, but resembles more of a ladder, with each rung leading closer to obtaining total knowledge, and simultenously losing all that tethers one to earthly illusions.

In literature, strong contrasts are a good indication we can look into it to spot gnostic inspirations or at the very least make a strong case they could be there, even if unintentional. In Przybyszewska's case, however, they are all the more probable, for I vaguely recall she was well aware of the presence of these beliefs and everything she wrote on the nature of genius points in the same direction, too. She held these beliefs in her own, private set of core values, and there isn't any better place for her to show them to us but through her works. She presented us with an utopian vision of mental progress in her plays, while in her prose works, she focused on the darker side of the same things.

The axis of conflict in gnosticism is between the mind and the spirit. Robespierre is without a doubt a man of the mind much more so than of the spirit, and all the important figures surrouding him are more on the spiritual side of things (with Camille being the most prominent in this regard). Maxime has achieved the gnosis, the crown that will burn [his] brains right through.Before it happens, though, he is elevated onto another plane of understanding, a place where no other person can reach him, or even understand him:

Danton, of course, is lying.

(There is, sadly, no French translation of Thermidor; on another note, it took me this long to realize the French decided to change the person's tag from Camille to Desmoulines, which is suprising in the best sense of the word).

Robspierre is clearly constructed to be a genius, standing above everybody else and thus bearing greater responsibility, something which demands of him more than it does of others. Madness which he suspects within himself at the end is only a threat because it potentially leads to commiting mistakes, and a mistake is an unforgivable offence when it is committed by the one who ought to know better. Mistakes by a hand of another – for example Camille – are a different story altogether, for the majority of people not only don't achieve gnosis, but even cannot achieve it, their mental state isn't developed enough for them to grasp at the higher concepts. I think this is one of the reasons why Saint-Just's words: It is not madness, it's despair, are actually calming Robespierre down. Despair is simply a sign of being weary, something to be expected.

Maxime's knowledge and better judgement of everything is of course still a curse, leading to his death. In gnosticism, death isn't meant in a macabre sense, since it leads to yet another, higher rung of the metaphorical ladder we're standing on, but the gnosis obtained beforehand makes a death a good one instead of a waste. When Robespierre is going through his moment of despair at the end of The Danton Case, he betrays the gnosis he has in favour of admiting that the future will turn out differently than what could be expected: his death won't be a natural progression, but a failure, his depaire sets him back into the crowd of the sad, grey mass of the people who are not – like him – predestined to understand more.

From the linguistic point of view, I find it interesting that in the original and in the French version, he is using somewhat esoteric language (the future is under the sign of Danton – to my eyes, it is a clear refereance to the Zodiac signs, something which is supposed to predestine our futures, and which is also esoteric and ritualistic; given all the hints that she was abused by her satanist father, it makes a really sad, hopeless final note on the grand scheme of things for the humanity, that we, as humans, are incapable of running away from the brute forces which will continue to rule us simply because the world is built like this – not to mention the inability to change the future or even just the fate of one's life is a staple of gnostic beliefs).

No matter what he says about it, the inability to escape from one's fate is something which we rarely associate with Robespierre, because – as much as Przybyszewska makes it clear, thet he is a genius and thus everything he does he is not only allowed to do, but must do it for the greater good – he seems a bit like a self-made man, perhaps because we see him all the time in situations which are hard and difficult, but not impossible. A much more tragic situtation of the lack of escape from his own poor choices is being presented to us through Camille.

Camille has had a chance to be continously tethered to Maxime, securing for himself relevant safety in the public life, and calmess or even happiness in his private one. Yet he breaks with Robespierre over and over again, starting even before the plot of the play. Maxime reaches out to him against his better judgement, and Camille – also against his better judgement – decides to stay loyal to Danton. He is as if glued to his leader, even though he sees him clearly for what he is. Camille is an apotheosis of a spiritual being, someone ruled by impulses, perhaps even with the best of intentions, but whose mind will never achieve gnosis, the clear vision of what is right and true. When Robespierre argues with the Committee by demanding they leave Danton (and Camille by proxy) alone, he plots against Maxime in his newspaper; when Robespierre goes to him under the cover of night, he doesn't want to see him and then throws him out; when Robespierre tries to either break him free from the prison or at the very least console him by admitting his love (I never actually knew what was his plan here), he follows the advice of his bad influences and doesn't admit him. It's as if a strange force kept him by Danton's side, and I don't think it was any normal feeling (of shame or guilt) keeping him away from Maxime. In The Last Nights of Ventose he makes it quite clear being a stronger person's lap dog would never bring him shame, but honour, thus I don't think he'd have any problem with returning to Robespierre after a long while of abuse and slander.

The relationship Camille has with Danton is another aspect of gnosticism, namely its duality. Danton is a stand-in for Maxime, which doesn't work because Danton is anti-Robespierre, his negative double (much like in some gnostic beliefs world was created and being conducted by two gods, one good and one evil). It is unclear whether Camille had any real, true potential to serve "good" Robespierre, but even if he didn't, if his friableness kept him from serving a greater purpose (which I don't know if I believe, in The Last Nights of Ventose we are presented with a very different portrayal of Camille, one who could achieve something much greater than he did if only he was by Robespierre's side at all times), serving the "evil" Danton couldn't possibly have a good outcome.

He even does return to Robespierre, for a short while, steered by emotions rather than anything else. But in this dualistic, gnostic reality, emotions have little to do, they aren't worth very much. What's more, if we focus solely on Camille, we have to admit that – as in every story, revolving around a single character – a person is in a way stuck in time. He can go about in the space his life takes, but time is more like a deity, untouchable and something you cannot pact with. For Camille, it doesn't matter how many times and at what point in time (before their fallout, during the crisis or at the last hour) Maxime asks him to break with Danton and go back to him, because time and predestined fate hold all the power of what is happening, while individuals hold none (and the aforementioned last statement of Robespierre explains right away that it is so even for the "great" individuals, who in other aspects are being held to different standards, but against time and fate they are just as powerless).

I like to think, though, that Przybyszewska has left a small postern for Camille to achieve gnosis or its more humane equivalent by drawing a symbolic parallel between two scenes, which are only made significat by their possible relating to each other, but mean next to nothing on heir own:

In the first scene, the key could have been a completely incidental choice of words/tools, after all it's a logical conclusion of the scene. There is, however, a more symbolic reading of it, as a key is of course a symbol, and a pretty easy one at that. If Camille gave Robespierre the key himself, this could be read as an end to their relationship, Camille returning the power that Maxime holds over him to Maxime's own hands. But since we only see Lucille relay the key, and we know that Lucille is also capable of influencing her husband and directing his steps (even if she says she can't; Robespierre's words, seeing as he's the genius here, are the final judgement of this), this could mean she is giving her portion of power to Maxime, whom she trusts to save her husband. And Maxime uses this one more time, when he tries to visit Camille in prison. That he fails miserably is against Camille's wishes, because Camille even in his demise only succumbs to wishes of others.

But we know he regrets this step mightily and we know it precisely because he dreams (or rather has a nightmare) about the very key he was supposed to convey to Robespierre earlier. He regrets the desire to give Maxime his power back, he regrets that by doing so in any way, shape or form he has finally given up his life. Choosing a beautiful death over an ugly, humiliating life only sounded good in his head, but in truth, he is beyond terrified and would love nothing more but to Maxime to come in again and if not save him, then at the very least – forgive him. But for that, they'd have to meet again, and he couldn't throw Maxime out. I also don't understand why both the English and French translation added the word "effortlessly" when describing his last moment with Robespierre, because make no mistake, it is very much an unnecessary addition, going against everything that he has been portrayed like so far. Their last conversation is just as much a tragic one for Camille as it is for Maxime.

Przybyszewska took great pains to paint Camille in front of our eyes as someone so weak that we find him as more of a comic relief than anything else, but in reality he is just a differing portrayal of powerlessness when faced with fate. Camille is not a comical character, but a tragic one, he is just the same as Robespierre, his other half: they both believe in their own agency, they both believe they are the ones making choices and pushing their lives forward, but it is not a coincidence that they both end up in he very same place, in a span of mere weeks.

This post would not have been born if it weren't for @patricidefan.

#@patricidefan thank you so much for talking with me about it #as i said you opened my third eye #patricidefan #Stanisława Przybyszewska #stanislawa przybyszewska #the danton case #sprawa dantona #thermidor #Maximilien Robespierre #maksymilian robespierre #Camille Desmoulins #Kamil desmoulins #gnosis #literary analysis #philosophy

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moony401 · 3 years

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this may be weird, but do you really think that jordelia will end up together? as much as everyone wants them to, looking at the familly tree and the errors with mixing up first marriages and that story (i'm forgetting the name) where the name layla comes from having an unhappy ending is making me think something will go wrong. also, with the theory of matthew getting his marks stripped, what if he just loses his name and ended up taking cordelia's? i'm doing a reread and noticing new things

Hey Anon, thanks so much for the ask, I love getting them 🥰❤️

I 100% think Jordelia will end up together. I think if she were going to go in another direction she wouldn’t have spent the majority of Chain of Iron focusing on their relationship. Now that James has realised his love for her there’s no doubt in my mind, he won’t love anyone else and we know he doesn’t die so I think they will. There’s so many moments they share that lead me to believe this, but here’s a quote from Tessa about James in Gotsm “My James knew the power of a love story as well as well as I do”. I think this eludes to Jordelia’s overall story- while there were obstacles to their relationship, they got past them and ended up together. There’s another quote like that from Fever, a short story from Cordelia’s perspective “She did not realize it would be a long, long time before she ceased to feel the lack of him inside her heart”. Suggesting that at some stage she is always with him, so again, I think that Grace, Belial/Tatiana and Matthew are just the obstacles they face in their journey.

I know where you’re coming from in terms of the family tree, it’s confusing and something that Cassie repeatedly says she regrets doing. But, I think the ‘twist’ in their marriage is just how they got married... In saying that, I’m not sure if they will stay ‘properly’ married, it might be interesting if Cordelia has to divorce James or never get her second rune to get her out of her oath with Lilith so she would technically no longer be ‘Cordelia Herondale’. It might be interesting if they were together romantically so they had to lead the Clave to believe they were still truly married, which could be why Jem changed the family tree? (it would be kind of fun to turn the reason they got married on its head, like they got fake married because of her reputation and society’s view of unmarried women but then they break this societal expectation by not being ‘properly’ married but still remaining together...). I’m not too worried about the family tree aspect, I know there will be a twist to how they end up together, and I have plenty more theories, but I have no doubt that will end up together.

The Layla and Majnun story is interesting I haven’t read it in full but I would like to. As far as I know Majnun gets lost in the wilderness and Layla dies of heartbreak.. I think Cassie references this because it parallels James being ‘lost’ in his own mind, he’s being controlled and has lost his own willpower and as a result Cordelia is left heartbroken. But, that doesn’t mean it has to end like the actual story. The entire series itself is loosely inspired by the Great Expectations where James and Grace would be Pip and Estella respectively and their story is already very different from the Great Expectations. This was also something that worried people when Tid was coming out, it’s loosely based on The Tale of Two Cities and Will Herondale is constantly described to be Sydney Carton, who dies/sacrifices himself and doesn’t end up with Lucie (who would be Tessa in this case) but this is obviously very different from the Tid ending. Cassie loves a happy ending, so I wouldn’t worry about that.

Oh Matthew, he’s definitely a character to be worried about, there’s a lot of scary foreshadowing with him 💔. They could get married, it’s possible I guess, I think it’s unlikely because I think it would only happen to get Cordelia out of her oath so not an actual ‘love’ match (which I doubt Cordelia would want to go through again). I really don’t think that Matthew and Cordelia are going to end up together... it’s just not being set up that way at all in my eyes, I’ve mentioned this before, but I feel like Matthew isn’t actually in love with Cordelia, he just knows that he can never be with her and so is using her to punish himself. It’s been acknowledged he seeks a ‘hopeless love’ so what makes this situation different from the one he had with Lucie? Cordelia only sees Matthew as a friend and he knows she’s in love with James. Cordelia actually mentions the word ‘friend’ atleast three times when he tells her how he feels, in fact when he tells her he loves her this is her thought process: “Cordelia was speechless. She did not want to hurt him; she had been hurt enough and had no desire to pass it on to someone else. Especially as dear a friend as Matthew”. This could change but it would be a really weird plot twist that I wouldn’t feel is earned, Cordelia has never expressed romantic interest in Matthew past calling him handsome or noticing his arms 😅? Again, I think this is explained away with this Chog quote “He was very handsome, Cordelia thought; she didn’t know why she didn’t respond to him as she did to James. But then, she didn’t respond to anyone as she did to James”. Bearing in mind that only a week will have passed from the end of Choi to the beginning of Chot, there’s really not room for her to have realistically developed romantic feelings for Matthew, in my opinion.

#ask answered #jordelia #herondaisy #chain of iron #the last hours #chain of thorns #james herondale #cordelia carstairs #matthew fairchild #tlh #chain of gold

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still-miss-hershel · 3 years

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This is just an inconsequential post in support of the Carylers who might feel a bit lost right now. It won’t be a popular opinion, but I know how hard things have been lately for some and how they are clinging on to their beloved fandom by their fingernails. Because the upshot of this recent episode and the direction Kang and co. have taken, has hurt a number of fans. I’m not necessarily talking about those vocal ones, who can scrap and give as good as they get. I’m talking about the ones who just need time and understanding to procees some things. I’m sure, as Carylers we’ve all needed that grace, at one point or another!! Apologies now for the length of this. I’m on my phone, so there’s no “under the cut.”

First off, I understand that many people are happy with certain aspects of 10.18. That’s good, and a relief, given the worry those spoilers caused. But, for every plot point or scene that one person sees as positive, it’s very easy too for others to view it as the complete opposite or simply just be frustrated by it. Some things (as even Melissa herself said) were “out of the blue”. We all have our own vision of Caryl in our heads and these don’t always match up and I guess when it so personal, they shouldn’t have to. It’s also why the exact way the show is made is utterly frustrating at times. Kang is well known as the queen of “interpretation”. Its often said that fans would prefer it if more was explained on screen, instead of on Talking Dead!

I’ve not long read an interview with NR and before people jump on me and yell what a troll he is, this was him explaining where he and the writers see Daryl during the episode. These are some of the things that people are mad about. The fact that Daryl couldn’t accept Leah’s love, not because he didn’t want it, but because he didn’t feel like he deserved it. Which is in keeping with how I imagine Daryl. But, the bottom line is that his first love on the show is Leah. It’s not Carol. Its the first time he’s looked at someone and considered them “a love interest” I get that plenty can sweep past all that and be so focused on Caryl, the overall story and where Carol fits into everything, which of course she does! That is exciting. I am not detracting from some great insights on that. It’s just that having spoken to Carylers who are also in no way blind to these parallels, but that there is also a decade of parallels and clues/Easter eggs, that amounted to absolutely nothing. Hence, why some in the fandom are very cautious when it comes to the show’s manipulation. Personally, I have sat in on enough production meetings and enough script meetings to know exactly how their minds work. If we have learned anything over the last 10+ years, Nothing is guaranteed. Yes, the indications are stronger and the path to endgame seems clearer, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be patient with those who have been burned too many times to trust so wholeheartedly. Time and patience will get us all there (hopefully). If it doesn’t, then it will be heartbreaking for them to lose what they loved for so long. But mocking and laughing them out of the fandom is not the way either.

A quick thing, Where people are happy for Daryl to compare Carol to Leah and his relationship with her. It’s there for all to see, but if you look at it from another angle, if feels completely back to front. These are the little things that hurt, even if it’s obvious why it’s happening. Nobody is “stupid” as I’ve seen said. They are just disappointed. Because for every reason that some loved the episode, there are just as many valid reasons why others felt the opposite way. It’s not just because “everyone’s negative and toxic” I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve read that. Caryl doesn’t belong to any one of us. Not to Daryl stans or Carol stans or those of us who love both equally. We are a spectrum of views, opinions and tolerance. Some would move goal posts a mile away, in order to get to canon and others are purists, who have a fixed idea in their minds of how it goes. Others stress and worry and make themselves ill over each and every decision and I’d say the last thing they need is to also feel inadequate or pushed out for looking at something they love, through different eyes. I’ve seen a range of SM posts and comments and I could point out a mountain of hypocrisy everywhere. Nobody is the perfect fan. I certainly know I’m not! I really don’t want to say the fandom is broken, but when deeply devoted Carylers feel like they are now shunned and pushed into the shadows because they had a different impression of who Daryl Dixon is? Then maybe the antis were right all along. We are all crazy. Peace out.✌️

#I do predict an influx of hate for this #or people yelling at me for raising points that they don’t agree with #it’s not what this post is for #I wanted to speak up for those who are hurting right now #Caryl is something different to everyone #too easy to forget sometimes #Caryl #best damn duo on television #I love them too

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flowers-of-io · 3 years

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The Legionless

So VoG drops tomorrow and I’ll be trying my best at a Day One run! But most importantly, I wanted to celebrate it with some lore analysis until my theories are proven wrong by canon.

So, Kabr.

1) Aspect

We actually heard from him in D2 at least twice. There’s the Kabr's Glass Aegis jumpship from CoO and the Gnomic chapter from my beloved book Aspect. Aspect is weird in itself, but in short, it’s a story about the Black Garden first and foremost, and how what I believe is the Darkness waking up affects the Sol Divisive. And, of course, what it means to Praedyth and the Ishtar Collective teams stuck in the Vex network.

I think what happens in Gnomic is Kabr slowly losing himself to the Vex. I have no idea why he is/is not walking in the Garden, but my theories about how everything that has ever happened and will ever happen is happening somewhere in the Garden is a thing for another time and I’ll spare you the brainworms for now. Anyway, the sentences are crowded and interweaving and messy and I think it’s the Vex collective mind and Kabr’s mind mixing at this point.

(Watch your six don't worry about me grow grow grow)

Ok buddy Goblin

(Who knows what's listening it's listening it's saying grow grow grow)

GROW GROW GROW this sounds so Vexy. That’s what they do. They possess you and grow inside you (see: Asher). And that’s what the Garden does, it grows, it grows into you and you grow into the Garden. “Everything in the Garden becomes of the Garden”. “Everything grows here,” Jolyon said.

There is a shape that is his mind and the shape is protect the shape is sacrifice the shape is (grow)

This is Kabr realising the final shape, I think--”final shape” as in “the state of the universe the Vex strive towards”. It speaks for itself, the shape is protect the shape and sacrifice for the shape and grow towards the shape and uh remember my aiat essay--

A Titan is a Wall a Shield a Cup filling itself to overflowing. The container changes the shape of its contents but the contents change the nature of the container and the nature is eternity.

This just sounds as something Toland would say. The container changes the shape of its contents but the contents change the nature of the container and the nature is eternity and my brain is on fire???

Okay. Kabr is the container. The radiolaria he so ingeniously drank is the new content. Kabr changes the shape of the Vex but the Vex change Kabr’s nature; and the nature is eternity, so they change the way Kabr relates to it? We know Guardians are immortal and the Vex as a collective also (in a way), but these are two different immortalities. Eternity means different things to them. They have a different relation to it. From what I see, the Vex changed the way Kabr perceives eternity, from the Guardian way to the Vex way. But he changed the shape of the content, so he, in a way, is still Kabr.

He was named too well he is his own grave and the cut on his left hand will never heal.

This is both obvious and intricately weird. ‘Kabr’ means ‘grave’ in Arabic; pretty telling. And the cut on the hand that never heals we see in Legends: The Black Garden Grimoire card, but there it is Pujari who has it:

I am Pujari. These are the visions I have had of the Black Garden. [...]

At the end of the path grew a flower in the shape of a Ghost. I reached out to pluck it and it cut me with a thorn. I bled and the blood was Light. [...]

When my Ghost raised me from the sea there was a thorn-cut in my left hand and it has not healed since.

I’m dying to know what the connection here is. I have no idea. No theory, no explanation.

Also what’s with the ^K^V^s? Green from FFC had an interesting theory about this being some kind of music writing but I didn’t understand it so I won’t quote, but I recommend the FFC episodes on Aspect because they’re fascinating. And, well, we know that Vex and music are strongly connected.

2) Aegis

.................Or is he? Is he losing himself truly?

Relic: The Aegis seems to document Kabr’s last clear thoughts before the Vex interweave themselves with him:

I have destroyed myself to do this. They have taken my Ghost. They are in my blood and brain. But now there is hope. I have made a wound in the Vault. I have pierced it and let in the Light. Bathe in it, and be cleansed. Look to it, and understand: From my own Light and from the thinking flesh of the Vex I made a shield. The shield is your deliverance. It will break the unbreakable. It will change your fate. Bind yourself to the shield. Bind yourself to me. And if you abandon your purpose, let the Vault consume you, as it consumed me. Now it is done. If I speak again, I am not Kabr.

Now let me introduce you to the final line of Kabr's Glass Aegis:

it was/was/was not done i/i speak again and was wrong i am still him and i am now them and THAT IS FUTURE^V^V

DO YOU SEE IT? DO YOU SEE THE PARALLEL? I SEE THE PARALLEL

while joined( Glass, Sky )

The Vex are “glass and silica”, the Sky is another term for the Light.

I guess the “cases” (past, present, future) mentioned in the loretab talk about the Vex’s (im)possibility to return to the primordial Garden, or at least the primordial state before the Winnower threw hands with the Gardener.

case Past:

return( i m p o s s i b l e )

// grazing, rocked, major, distilled.

case Present:

return( v e s t i g i a l )

// vault, aegis, awakened, infinite.

case Future:

// return( i n e v i t a b l e )

// light, truth, dark.

Vestigiality is an occurence when in the evolution process some species’ organs lose their previous function because it is not needed anymore, but retain those organs. Make of that what you will, I have my theories but I can’t quite put them into words.

if( t h e w a r d e n s s e e t h e BRIGHT a s d e a t h ) &&

( t h e THINKERS e q u a t e BLACK w i t h e n d ) then

What is going on??? I guess we’re the Thinkers but who is the Wardens??

their/our/their desire is not malevolent it is survival she is/was/is wrong there is no evil there is no despise there is no SEPARATION there is harmony inside if you/you/you allow it

This, I think, speaks about the Exo Stranger. She said the Vex were “an evil which surpasses all other evil” when she tasked us with destroying the Black Heart. The “there is no separation” seems to be about how the Vex are now Kabr and Kabr is the Vex and the Vex wish to see the world be them and everything to be the pattern as they are the pattern and *gasps for air*

Harmony. I. The music.

Also the final flower pattern was repetitive. Is that harmony? No. Does it hit oddly close to home for me? Yea.

Also the ^K^V^s appear in this entry as well and I still have no idea what they mean.

3) Theory

Kabr is not gone. Kabr is Kabr. The Vex did not eat him up, they have woven themselves into him and they are now one, the Vex and him. I think this is what might have happened to Asher, too.

And I think Kabr will come back, in a way. At least that’s not the last that we’ve heard from him.

(I put this quickly and without thinking much & just riding on the hype, so forgive me if it seems a bit incomprehensible.)

#i like my lore with coffee #kabr #vexed #destiny 2 #vault of glass

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animerunner · 2 years

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This is may be a somewhat insensitive question and I’m sorry if it is, but I must be missing something. If some version of the-collector-possessing-Luz theory is true, why is that particularly something that needs so much care? Any kind of possession, especially of a child, is deeply disturbing for most people but you seem to be talking about something more?(losing control over your own body is a fear ingrained in human nature itself, it’s not surprising for it to be a horror genre staple) Other than potentially giving nightmares and moderate trauma to a few thousand children, I can’t think of what your alluding to.

If you’re about to say something obvious that I’ve forgot about or some condition that I’ve not considered that would be hurt by handling this badly (some mental disorder maybe? I’m reasonably confident that any portrayal of possession or loss-of-self would be so distant from real life that it wouldn’t be a reasonable parallel to make) I’m going to feel like an ass and I’m sorry again if that’s the case.

…well this accidentally made me realize finally why I’ve been having problems with the theory. And why I’ve been having the same emotional reaction to this whole thing that I did to another theory I really didn’t take well back between 1 and 2 involving Eda

Don’t worry Anon your good. I didn’t even realize what I was doing until you sent it.

There are two parts I want to address to it. And why even after this I’m still uncomfortable but hey at least I figured out why I kept having this reaction.

And turns out some of its a bit personal.

So quick rundown for anyone who and I’m going to asssume anon here as well don’t know. I know some of my followers do know since some are on Discord as well.

Since September I’ve been struggling with my physical health. I‘ve spent over a quarter of the last year sick. No one can tell me why. My ex GP who was now shown himself to be incompetent to a dangerous degree has been trying to tell me it’s all in my head. And that ‘I should learn to live with it’

Reminder I’ve now spent 15 weeks sick.

So long story short me without realizing what I’m doing have been sorta half projecting on Luz. Because that loss of physical control is hitting way too close to home right now.

That being said that’s not my entire issue with the theory. And I am going to try to explain the other half and the other implications that come up. While being SFW and trigger friendly. But keep in mind it’s probably going to become obvious what I’m implying here because there is no way to totally dance around it. Because I don’t know what age you are anon.

And I know this fandom has a wide range.

So with that in mind I’m keeping this out of the tag.

I wanted to put it under a read more. But Tumblr isn't letting me do that.

I have tried to keep this as safe as possible. But there is no way to keep it 💯 safe. Because of the material we’re discussing implications will come up. And people will probably miss it but the ones who knows.

Are going to kinda know.

And just a general plea. For everyone else don’t come asking for further clarification from me. 1. I don’t think that’s my place and 2. I already feel uncomfortable just talking this much.

Oh real quick about the mental health aspect. That isn’t what my main issue/concern here is. But that is another thing to keep in mind. Because of the route it could go down there. But my issue isn’t mainly with that. So I need to circle back to it.

It goes back to pre Revolutionary War history. AKA Philips time.

Philip is a white colonizer. And I feel like y’all are going to go yeah we all know that.

Which yes we do.

But because he is one we also need to remember that ties him back imperatively to certain actions colonizers made during his time period. And not just the witch hunting.

And I don’t know what your knowledge on pre America history is anon. But in general from what I’ve found/experienced what’s presented is toned down because again kids. Than what actually happened.

But Colonization era was a very dark place. Like I can’t touch on it because the sheer amount of TWs I would have to attach to this post and I don’t feel comfortable doing that with a post associated with a kids show fandom. Even though I’m not tagging the fandom. But certain things were done by colonizers to natives.

That inevitably when you talk about a white colonizer from that time period. Forcing something (since if posession went down that is probably going to happen) onto a BIPOC child that even if she isn’t native…your still going to draw parallels to it. Because of the situation it’s created.

And this is something I feel the crew must be aware of. And while the crew has been top notch at handling dark topics and making them kid friendly.

I’m not entirely sure how to handle the possible fall out from that kind of parallel. Because there’s dark and then there’s this.

#anon #personal

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swimfuel · 3 years

Text

okay humanstuck thoughts under the cut

i owe a lot of this to @/rhythmic-idealist's kankri/vantasposting bc holy shit theyve got such a big brain (ill link to their individual posts when im on desktop since im using this to keep all my thoughts straight and i agree with most of what they say wholeheartedly)

general status quo stuff:

signless works in an extremely demanding career involving helping others (i'm leaning towards an attorney who works with organizations and does pro bono work), and is also extensively involved in social justice work outside of his job... he is very rarely home

he loves and cares for his children deeply and tries to express it whenever they're face to face, but the couch in his cramped and messy office has seen far too much use over the years for him to have been able to say it enough

his habits of working himself to the point of exhaustion are handily passed down to his kids btw

the kids had to grow up quickly because signless was out of the house so often and so consistently—kankri, who was already pretty high-strung, has to learn to take care of himself and karkat

they grow up near ms firuzeh maryam, who's their pseudoaunt/grandma (she took in a nine year old kavana vantas when she was about twenty), but they just call her ms rosa

they spent a lot of time in the maryam house growing up, with miss rosa's two nieces. porrim is a year older than kankri, while kanaya and karkat are the same age

kankri grows kinda sensitive to people trying to mother him since it rubs against the notion that he's the "adult of the house" and that he can take care of himself and karkat just fine

(and it also kinda underlines the fact that kankri has no idea what he's doing at the best of times)

and ironically enough, kankri becomes overbearing and naggy towards karkat in his own right, which forestalls them becoming close in any brotherly sort of way

they grow up really just... unable to communicate with one another clearly

karkat develops his ornery exterior in response to kankri's constant stream of opinions and frantic attempts at making up for the presence of a guardian in the house

i think there would actually be some really interesting parallels with rose in this au.. maybe i'm drawing from my own experiences as well but i think he'd begin to assume that every time his brother opens his mouth, he's going to criticize karkat

but instead of reacting like rose with the "making yourself more of a puzzle"/passive aggressive stuff, he gets a more defensive/hackles raised/"argue with you before you can argue with me" approach

and the thing is that they do love each other and would take a bullet for the other etc etc etc.. but they don't know how to express it because they've fallen into these shitty patterns

and it really doesn't help that kankri has grown somewhat resentful of signless over the years... that mix of resentment and fear and love gets more extreme and more polar every time signless gets injured during a political demonstration

i think kankri and signless would also be slightly closer than karkat and signless, as signless' job really only started to ramp up when karkat was less than years old and kankri was in his early double digits

kankri autistic btw its word of god (i am god)

karkat has a pet crab. its name is also karkat. he vents his frustrations to it.

i feel like the vantases exemplify both the best and worst parts of their aspects with one another as well... the strength of their bonds keeps them together and grounded, but TOO grounded. [insert Blood rant here]

the Blood rant:

i define Blood as bonds, responsibility, and the "core". if Life is the fertile soil and everything living on a planet's surface, then Blood is the gravitational core of the planet keeping everything together

i also think Blood, Heart, & Mind work in tandem to define a person just as blood serves to connect the pieces of the human body... Heart is the soul and the self, Mind is the application of one's self through active choices (agency), while Blood defines both the self and the choices one makes in greater detail [and, as an aside, Life provides the physical spark of life needed to keep the heart pumping blood]

OKAY wow that got tangential anyways

SO BASICALLY! too much Blood makes you stagnate, so for example:

kankri is split between staying home with karkat or going to college across the country and being truly unbound for the first time in years

another crisis of Blood: signless is caught between his empathy and responsibility to the whole world and his responsibility to his own children

okay so here's more status quo stuff:

the maryam and vantas kids grow up together and its hilarious because you'll see them all together and its just like (girlboss) (girlboss) (physical manlet) (emotional manlet)

the maryam girls are actually miss rosa's nieces but she took them in when they were both pretty young

the pyropes know the vantases well enough considering pyrope senior and sign have known one another from their respective legal practices for years, but they live on the other side of town

the leijons lived in town when kankri and meulin were very young, but they moved and travelled for a long time before coming back and reestablishing their roots

the captors (psii being one of sign's oldest and closest friends) move into town with the peixes family pretty early on though

the condesce is.. a horrible spouse and guardian, to put it plainly. she's very emotionally manipulative and isn't averse to smacking people around, including her own family. she moves herself and her perfect little family into town so she can properly oversee a new business venture close by

feferi is one of the best young swimmers in the country and has a pretty good shot of getting onto the olympic team.. a lot of this drive to be perfect and to be better results from the condesce's unrelenting pressure and thinly veiled resentment throughout her whole life

so yeah psii, )(ic, feferi, and sollux all live together and it's really not great for anyone involved. (meenah ran away years ago, and crashed on aranea's couch for a pretty long while—mituna moved out with latula for college before psii and the condesce got married)

it gets bad to the point of sollux staying with the maryams for two months while the adults try to sort out that absolute clusterfuck and get the divorce proceedings going (meenah finally convinces feferi to get out and come stay with her and aranea for the duration as well)

in terms of relationships i think latula and porrim were really really close in high school, and probably had some kind of unacknowledged thing going on for a while that never actually turned into anything because latula and mituna were going steady

kankri has had a crush on latula for years but never acted on it for similar reasons

meenah still carries a lot of that give no fucks attitude (it's developed moreso as a defense mechanism here) and can't understand why feferi refuses to leave the condesce with her

okay back to VANTAS MANPAIN i also think that karkat feels the weight of a lot of expectations on his shoulders as well

he feels responsible to live up to the example his dad and his brother set, even if it's to his own detriment—and kankri's oblivious rambling about his grades and his teachers and all his clubs certainly aren't helping the matter

kankri is one of those overinvolved kids taking a million AP's while simultaneously shitting on the collegeboard at every single step

hes this super overachiever anal retentive perfectionist type dude and (just as karkat preemptively criticizes others to forestall their criticisms of him only to harshly criticize himself) kankri subconsciously holds the people around him to the same expectations he holds for himself

so karkat also develops this sense of lacking which, in combination with everything else, culminates in self loathing and thinking he has to solve everyone else's problems and getting horribly mad at himself for every little mistake

GOD i have a lot more but lemme post this before i accidentally close out of the app and lose it all

more little details:

vriska's mom and terezi's mom HATE each other like HATE HATE HATE one another it's so bad

karkat wrote a ten page review of my immortal in middle school

jade is one of nepeta's best online friends

sollux can't raise one eyebrow at a time.. karkat gives him so much grief about it

the vantases eat a lot of shitty renditions of persian dishes until karkat learns to cook because literally the only person in the world with a CHANCE of getting KANKRI VANTAS to make an EDIBLE DISH is miss rosa

kanaya is really good at persian dance too but is VERY VERY embarassed to perform in front of people.. however porrim definitely is not

karkat has insomnia while kankri just stays up stupidly late for assignments that really shouldnt be taken that seriously.. but they both have the same rumination/sleep anxiety thing where your brain goes insane with horrible and depressing scenarios as you try to sleep

and more ideas that i thought were interesting but idk how to fit in the context of this au:

signless and disciple getting married pretty late in life after having been in love for years, the vantases move in with the leijons and karkat suddenly has two sisters

nepeta and karkat are both juniors at this point, meulin is probably in her third year at a local college nearby while kankri is about to start his second year at a university pretty far away

the kids in general honestly but ill figure it out

more random hcs this time with kids:

kanaya and rose get into a flame war online that gradually settles into elaborate courtship rituals

also nepeta + jade online besties

also bec can inexplicably still teleport

the first sbahj movie comes out and the next six months of dave strider junior's high school career are absolute hell

actually hc that dave senior goes by d strider professionally. the d stands for a lot of things

aradia and dave frequent a lot of the same forums but never end up really interacting

meanwhile karkat and john frequent a lot of the same forums and DEFINITELY end up interacting. this turns into grudging (at least on karkat's part) friendship after they find themselves fighting for their lives defending an objectively shitty movie together on the same thread

#humanstuck #vantas family #.

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pi-cat000 · 4 years

Text

MSA: Take Back The Future (part 3)

Summary: Vivi and Arthur travel back in time to the beginning of Hellbent. Neither of them are okay.

(Part 1) (Part 2)

Mystery, instead of answering Vivi’s questions, leaps over the seat dividing the front and back areas of the van, exiting out the back doors.

“Wait, ” Vivi yells after Mystery, “get to back here and explain what happened to my memories.”

/It is not a tale that can be simply told. Not right now when we may be in danger/

Arthur thinks kitsune turned dog sounds slightly strained but it’s hard to really tell with Mystery’s weird telepathy. When the meaning of words are projected right into your brain some of the nuance is lost.

“Who is Shiromori? Why is she attacking us?” Vivi tries, following to glare at Mystery who circles the van, barely paying attention to the two of them. “Just answer one question!”

His mechanical arm twitches of its own accord and he eyes it nervously. To hell with it. Arthur frees his hand and begins to feel about for the quick release lever hidden under a panel on his upper arm. After the van crash and almost getting thrown to his death, the arm had been too banged up to safely remove, jamming in place. Best to be rid of it now, before everything when to shit all over again.

The sound of his heavy metal arm hitting the ashfelt draws Vivi’s attention and she turns to give him a quizzical expression.

“Better off then on,” He explains, “Wasn’t really working that well anyway. Hopefully, that’ll get rid of the curse as well.” Honestly, this cruse is the least of his worries.

Vivi exhales and Arthur can see the stress pinching her mouth, pulling it down into an uncharacteristic frown, “If the curse is specifically attached to your arm then removing it might work. On the other hand, if it’s anything like the one that got my memories then who the hell knows what will work. I certainly don’t. Apparently, I don’t know a lot of things.”

The last sentence is louder, directed at Mystery. There is no response from the dog who is staring off into the middle distance, head to one side like he is listening intently for something. Arthur offers Vivj an uneasy shrug. He has his own questions for Mystery regarding Vivi’s memories, his arm, and the night they both went missing. However, his most recent run-in with dead-Lewis has him quickly reordering his priorities. None of the answers are going to mean much if he’s dead. Again…

Speaking of which… On the horizon, a purple light flares, glowing brightly against the dark backdrop. Arthur’s mouth goes suddenly dry and limbs feel very cold. Yeah, that seamed about right…

/You called this spirit Lewis?/ Mystery turns his head to examine him, expression troubled. /Are you sure?/

He gives a short nod, eyes darting from Mystery then back to the road. It looks like Mystery is planning something based on how his fur is glowing red. He’d seen a similar red glow on the night of Lewis’s disappearance and during the confrontation outside his Uncle’s workshop. How much did Mystery know about Lewis? The question sticks in his mind, painfully heavy.

“Lewis? You mean the purple fire ghost? The one that caused the van crash?” Vivi steps up next to him, eyes locked onto the truck which grows quickly larger, “How are we going to stop it from running us all over?”

It’s too late to try a drive or run away now. Even if he decides to run there is a steep rocky slope on one side and a sharp climb on the other. If he did make it down by some miracle there was just flat desert and no cover for miles. Arthur doesn’t voice this observation instead commenting in a voice several octaves higher than normal, “I don’t think you need to worry about the ghost running you over. I’m pretty sure he’s only after me. So…ah…maybe don’t stand near me?”

Why? Why was Lewis trying to hurt him? In his mind’s eye, Lewis and Mystery meld together into a nightmare inferno of fire, teeth and death.

“I don’t want you to get run over either.” Vivi’s voice sounds faint, coming to him like it has travelled a great distance. Too much fear packed into too short a timeframe is making it harder and harder to concentrate. The ice at her feet thickens into long sheets, which creep out over the road, freezing it solid. He is probably lucky his remaining arm hasn’t frozen off with how tight Vivi had been holding it. Maybe if he turns into a giant Arthur icicle and he can sit this whole thing out. The hysterical thought momentarily breaks through his mounting panic.

/Wait./

Arthur can almost hear the crackle of fire and the hum of the truck's engine.

/ You should not be drawing on so much of this power at once! You’ll damage the seal further!/

“I’m not letting Arthur die again. Anything comes near us and I’ll make whoever it is, regret it… that includes you.”

Vivi steps out so she is positioned in the centre of the road.

/I can handle this confrontation. There are still many aspects to the situation that you remain unaware of./

“And how am I supposed to fix that if you won’t tell me anything.”

/ I swear I will explain when there is more time. I only ever wanted to protect you./

“I don’t believe you.”

Vivi snaps the final sentence and punctuates it with a sharp hand gesture aimed at the oncoming truck. Several lines of ice stretch out and down the road, racing away from Vivi to meet the oncoming vehicle. Shining an ethereal blue, the frost coats the road’s surface, smoothing it over. Arthur catches the briefest glimpse of skeletal Lewis before the truck hits the ice sheets and the wheels suddenly lose traction. The sound of metal crunching is deafening, accompanied by the hiss of water abruptly vaporising. Heat and cold collide in a cacophony cracking ice and explosion of steam.

A flash of bright purple fire. Mystery disappears, obscured by the thick columns of steam. He finds himself being yanked to the side by Vivi just in time to watch the purple truck careen past in a shower of sparks and groaning metal. At such high speeds, it rams straight into and through the guardrails separating the road from the rocky slope. Stunned, Arthur watches it disappear over the edge. If Lewis hadn’t already been dead then Arthur might have been worried. The sound of banging and crashing, as the truck presumably roles several times, has him physically wincing. Scratch that, he was worried. Very worried. Worried enough that it overtakes his mental panic and replaces it with deep concern. How durable were ghosts? He doesn’t know and that scares him.

“Vivi! What the hell,” He finally manages to spit out, breaking his panic-induced stupor. He tries to rush past her, intent on checking for any signs of Lewis. He promptly slips. The combination of ice and his lack of a second arm throws off his balance and he ends up falling backward. He is saved from a collision with the ground by Vivi who seemed to now have supernatural levels of balance and was unaffected by the slippery surface.

“I …wow. That was… something.” Vivi breaths, examining the road still covered in planes of ice as if not quite believing it.

“Help me to the edge,” He interrupts, trying and failing to stand straight collapsing back on her, “I need to see if he’s okay,”

“Who’s okay? The ghost?"

“Yes.”

"You want to see if the ghost is okay? You said it was trying to hurt you?”

Arthur can practically see the concern and confusion now hanging over Vivi as she looks down from where she's holding him up by his one good arm.

“It’s just…a misunderstanding or something. I…we…might know this ghost.”

“What?”

“Just help me check.” He motions with his remaining arm. Visible through the plums of steam are thicker lines of darkened smoke coming from the space where the truck had disappeared.

....

Note: I’m Sorry to everyone who’s showed interest in this AU but i’m not sure if i’ll continue this since i’ve lost motivation. Here are some of the more coherent plot notes if people are interested in this AU. Feel free to ask questions if u have any :) .

...

- Shiromori shows up directly after Lewis’s crash, distracting Mystery. With all the steam obscuring their vision Arthur and Vivi don’t realise that Shiromori has arrived immediately, and there is enough time to briefly look for Lewis.

- Lewis makes it out of the truck crash only slightly worse for wear and tries to attack Arthur. Vivi moves to defend Arthur, then Arthur has to defend Lewis and it’s all very awkward for everyone.

- Lewis sees how scared Arthur is a reconsiders his revenge plot, hesitating long enough to get some dialogue in.

- Arthur finally gives Vivi a brief Lewis overview (sans the whole ‘he almost threw me off a fake cliff thing’). Vivi is suspicious and somewhat unconvinced. Lewis is slightly confused when Vivi starts referring to the alternate time line.

- Not time for further discussion because Mystery is fighting Shiromori and, since he had warning this time, he’s winning.

(fight scene stuff. Vivi rushes in to do something idk this part is not planned.)

Vivi overused ice abilities.

Lewis and Arthur have a moment alone.

Vivi, slightly untrusting of Mystery, ends up stepping to stop the two from fighting. (Vivi ends up saving Shiromori maybe??? a parallel to the original timeline). A dramatic moment where Vivi rushes in ( maybe takes a blow for Shiromori idk would depend on Shiromori’s backstory) and ends up injured.

- ??? makes an appearance, takes over Vivi instead of Mystery.

Some background world building stuff

- Vivi’s ice powers might become unsealed and she is vulnerable to ??? (spiritual energy is damaging to humans if too much is used at once or if is not used correctly)

- Yukino family are spiritual channels making them both more powerful and more vulnerable. Mystery holds a seal to the ability and it eats up a tails worth of power to maintain. Same deal with Shiromori, Mystery holds a seal to keep her fully realised abilities in check which also eats up a lot of power.

- The seal is damaged when Mystery is hurt

- Arthur is unaffected by the ice because he’s got some odd time based supernatural power which has bonded to vivi spiritual signtaure as well. This is the reason ??? want to possess Arthur. One possible resolution was for Arthur to figure out how to rewind time to the seconds before Vivi gets possessed, giving her a chance to defeat ???. It takes a lot of power which Lewis ends up giving to him.

#MSA #mystery skulls animated #msa fanfic #Vivi Yukino #arthur kingsmen #Mystery the dog #Vivi and Arthur friendship #angst #lewis arrives then imedetly exits stage left #paniced arthur #time travel au

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