#people who think they know my gender better than me can fuck back to whatever cave they come from

[itadores]

my type of person.

note: on a tōdō kick rn ... sorry

pairing: tōdō aoi x gn!reader

word count: .9k

tags: gender neutral reader, meet ugly, threats of violence

“What’s your type?”

You blink, dumbfounded by the strange subject of the question. You really didn’t expect for the large and imposing man who suddenly appeared before you only minutes prior to ask that of all things. Perhaps, you should have anticipated it though. You’ve never had the displeasure of meeting Tōdō Aoi in the flesh, but many of your close colleagues have.

“Depending on your answer, I’ll beat you half to death right here. If your answer bores me that means you’re boring, and I hate boring people,” he says through gritted teeth.

He shrugs off his sleek black jacket, allowing it to drop to the floor. Then, he tears his t-shirt into shreds with his bare hands.

What. The. Fuck.

“Huh?!” You put your hands up in surrender, slowly backing away from the man, who (you’re confident) must be out of his mind. “Do you really need to resort to violence? Can’t we just, I don’t know, not fight?” You try and reason with Tōdō, who doesn’t look very receptive to what you’re saying.

“Hurry up and answer the question before I run out of patience,” Tōdō says, stretching his hands that he holds out in front of him. He’s already in a fighting stance, prepared to attack you once he deems your answer unsatisfactory.

Your eye twitches, and you scowl. Fine. If he wants you to answer, then you’ll answer. You take a moment to think about it. You fold your arms over your chest before dignifying Tōdō with a response.

“My type is someone kind.”

He pauses, his hands dropping slightly. For a moment, you think he’s going to be satisfied with your answer and leave you alone. Sadly, it’s too good to be true.

“What kind of answer is that?” He exclaims, clearly unhappy with what he perceives as such a lackluster answer.

“My answer obviously,” you say, giving him a dirty look. Why did you have such bad luck that you had to cross paths with Tōdō Aoi today of all days? All you wanted to do was enjoy your day off, free from missions and free from classes. Instead, it was being interrupted by a massive brute. “I bet your answer isn’t any better,” you retort, pointing an accusing finger at him.

“It’s much better than whatever you just said,” he scoffs, folding his strong arms over his broad chest. Your eyes dart down, following the movement before quickly meeting his gaze once more. At least, he’s nice to look at.

“My type is tall people with big asses,” Tōdō responds, looking especially pleased with himself. His brow twitches with irritation when you start laughing. “Why are you laughing?”

You quickly calm yourself down, regaining your composure, so you can respond without laughing in Tōdō’s face again. “My answer clearly didn’t meet whatever,” you wave your hand around, motioning towards Tōdō’s face, “standards you have in mind, but your answer is just as bad. If anything, it’s worse than mine. At least, I focused on personality. You just focused on someone’s physical appearance.”

Tōdō’s expression grows more and more displeased until he looks like he’s on the precipice of lunging towards you. Uh oh. You take a slow step back, ready to bolt if Tōdō decides to suddenly attack you. You’re really not in the mood to fight on your day off.

Much to your utter surprise, Tōdō begins to cackle. It borders on maniacal as he clutches at his stomach and throws his head back. This may be more unsettling than Tōdō attacking you outright.

“You’re interesting,” he states. A large grin stretches across his cheeks, and his chest still heaves with the exertion of laughter.

“Thanks?” You’re not quite sure if Tōdō means it positively or negatively, so you don’t know if you should take what he said as a compliment or not.

He takes a step forward, and you're tempted to take a step backward, but you decide to take a leap of faith and stay put. You only hope you won't regret your decision. He stands close enough that you can smell the scent of his cologne, a surprisingly pleasant aroma. Not strong and overpowering like cologne often is.

He sticks a hand out.

"Tōdō Aoi. Grade 1 Sorcerer."

You blink, surprised by the sudden introduction. You provide him with your own name and grade, clasping his hand with your own. His hand is massive in comparison to yours, his palm rough with callouses, which is not exactly surprising, but somehow, still relatively soft. You're not quite sure how that can be, but you don't think to verbalize your questions to the man. The sudden change in his personality is strange enough as is.

"Go out with me."

Oh. Things just got much stranger.

"I thought you wanted to beat me up," you sputter, shocked by this turn of events. How does a guy go from threatening to inflict bodily harm onto you to asking you on a date?

"I was only going to beat you up if I found you to be a boring person," Tōdō says as if it's a perfectly normal and logical thing to say. "But you surprised me. You're...interesting, so let's go out."

"You're out of your mind," you bluntly say. Tōdō only grins. You shake your head in response. But maybe, you're out of your mind too.

"Okay. I'll let you take me out." Tōdō's grin widens, but you hold a finger up to tamper his excitement. You don't want him getting ahead of himself now. "But if it's not a good date, I get to beat you up then."

Tōdō's smile threatens to split his face into two.

"Challenge accepted."

#jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #todo x reader #todo aoi x reader #toudou x reader #toudou aoi x reader #new.mail #from.jujutsu kaisen #love.todo aoi

[public-trans-it]

i was a trans man until after a lot of build up of doubting myself, i finally realized that we are putting ourselves further into boxes by not accepting that we are the biological sex that we are and we can do WHATEVER we want at the same time.

clothes and makeup and certain interests do not equal gender.

and not liking being a woman is an unfortunately natural symptom of puberty and/or experiencing society’s deeply ingrained misogyny. and everyone deserves support for those problems.

but we can all fight together against gender social constructs in a healthy way without prescribing people hormones and invasive cosmetic surgery to make them more like the sex they “should” be according to… social constructs…. and help them be comfortable in who they are

Alright. Its been like 9 fucking months that I have been staring down this ask. What better time than to give TERFs some nuance than right in the middle of a fucking hate campaign going on where people (well... singular person probably) are calling me a TERF. This wont backfire.

This post arrived in my inbox shortly after I made another post about gender, and just how fucking weird it can be, and how I genuinely believed every single person on this planet has a fascinating relationship with gender, and so much nuance and personal identity in theirs. Even cis people. Even TERFs. In the tags, I even begrudgingly encouraged TERFs to talk about their gender on that post if they wanted. I genuinely think that TERFs do have really cool relationships with gender. As I mentioned in those tags, the quickest way to explode a group of TERFs is to get them to start talking about their own relationships with gender, and see how vastly different it is, and watching them stab each other in the back over it. So I told them to ramble away about how they view gender, as long as they stayed the fuck away from the rest of the blog WHICH THIS ANON CLEARLY FUCKING IGNORED.

But... this anon does bring up another topic I want to talk about.

Detransition.

Read More

I am a huge supporter of detransitioning. This is... surprisingly... not a very common stance in the trans community, and it breaks my fucking heart. Like, I get it. I understand why. A LOT of detransitioners, like the person in this ask, end up weaponizing their feelings of gender against other trans people.

My support of transition comes from the intersection of two very central beliefs of mine:

Everyone should explore their gender without feeling a need to commit! This is a pretty common belief in the trans community! Damn near universal in fact! We even have a fun little term we use for people who decide to play around with gender, only to end up a bit closer to where they started and being perfectly happy with that: Cis+. Someone who is cis, but at least put in the work to understand the trans experience, and actually CHOOSE to remain Cis instead of just defaulting to it with societal pressure. Many trans people are much more comfortable around 'Cis+' people, because they know these are people who have taken the time and put in the work of being an ally. Self examination isn't easy, especially not publicly, and doing so is genuinely one of the strongest ways a Cis person could ever show their support.

It is never too late to transition. This is also a pretty common belief in the trans community! It is... sadly not quite as universal though. But it is something very important that needs to be said. You could be 80 years old, sitting in a retirement home, and go "You know what? I think I'd rather wear a dress and be treated like a lady. I don't want to be buried as a man." And I think every single trans person should have that freedom!

I was discussing this with @thydungeongal the other day, far more paraphrased than this post, and she said something incredible that has been knocking around in my head ever since.

"Gender is an ongoing process"

Those five words they said to me sum up my feelings far more than this entire post could. Gender IS an ongoing process. My gender has changed SO MUCH over the past three decades. From the straightjacket of assigned gender that I was once forced into; to the very stylish and still lovable finely tailored suit of femininity that grew a little too stuffy to wear constantly, even though I do still enjoy it and try it on from time to time; to the wonderful and freeing losely fitting clothing of being aegogender, finally feeling free to be myself and just act naturally and feel natural without having to keep up an appearance!

And I think, there is no length of time you can try out being trans, and trying out new genders, before eventually coming to the realization you were cis all along. Even if you started HRT. Even if you got SRS. Heck, I don't even think you should have to call yourself trans to do either of those things in the first place, why would I be upset that someone did them and then realized they weren't trans? No single moment in your life should EVER lock your gender in place into some unchanging, set in stone thing.

So I support detransitioners completely, with my entire heart. They deserve just as much support as every other 'Cis+' person out there.

So anon, while many people may hate you and lash out at you for detransitioning, I want you to know, that I am not one of them. It sounds like your detransition might have been forced by peer pressure, which is heart breaking to hear. No one should ever force their own gender expectations on another. I hope that wasn't the case. I hope you came to the decision yourself, after realizing whats right for you. I will never give you hate for your detransition.

I WILL ABSOLUTELY GIVE YOU HATE FOR BEING A FUCKING TERF THOUGH. YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE WITH GENDER DOES NOT GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO POLICE THE GENDER OF OTHERS, FUCK OFF. GET THE FUCK OFF MY BLOG, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!

#I think I'm gonna start doing that for Read Mores #so you can find your place easier after click it #since my 'style' in these long posts is like... a fairly longish NON-readmore post. followed by the actual readmore. Let me know if it work #text essay #gender #detransition #I uh... also have some more... complex feelings of detransitioning #that may be a LIIIIIIITTLE more controversial......... #none of it goes against what i said here #its more personal stuff with my own gender and how detransition specifically is something that exists not as gender itself #but as the societal perceptions of a persons gender #but thats a more complex topic that I'll add on to this at another date #also I am absolutely taking this ask at face value for the sake of this post #but I am not so naive as to believe that the blatant TERF that sent it was being genuine #this is ABSOLUTELY the kind of thing they send people to drive a wedge in the community #I'm not even going to fucking dignify that part of it with any mention in the body of this post #edit: ........... okay the readmore accidentally moved somehow #I fixed it now though

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

Proposing to Floyd with a Ring Pop

This lovely image was made by @hoboyherewego and I think @traumxrei-archive may wanna see this

Gender Neutral, Cursing, Sam is your partner in Dumbassery

You and Floyd have been friends for a good while now. Ever since you arrived at NRC, you both clicked with each other and became good friends. However, it was time for the next step, a major step in any friendship: to become besties.

Best friend isn't a term to be taken lightly. It was a huge deal. Your bestie is your bestie. To go from friends to best friends means to be able to truly trust one another and be able to shit talk people together. Furthermore, it is the stage where you can dump all of your trauma on the other than sneak out to a McDonald's at 3 am to cope. The title 'best friends' is a heavier title than 'husband' or 'spouse'

You still your beating heart as you peruse around Sam's shop, looking for the perfect ring to present to Floyd. Sam noticed your serious expression.

"My my, little imp, you look so tense! What's the matter?" "Sam, I think I found… the one." At that Sam's expression beamed. "I could tell by your expression alone, so you found the one, huh? I'm sure you want something unique, just like them." You nodded, as Sam started to pull out more rings from behind the counter.

Taffy, honey, licorice, cherry, and all sorts of high-end and beautiful rings were brought to you, yet none seemed to match the one who had your heart. You sighed in defeat and shook your head, ready to give up until you felt a hand on your shoulder. Sam looked into your eyes before holding out a box. "Feast your eyes on this, surely it's exactly what you were lookin' for?" 

You snap open the lid to the small box before you. The ring inside shone so brightly it nearly left you in tears. A deep turquoise blue raspberry body, with green– almost black– accents running through it. The very top of the ring had a deep purple grape swirl in the shape of an eel. This was the one. 

You gave Sam a heartfelt hug and forked over a small fortune (0.99c) for the ring. Sam gave you his best wishes before waving you off. Now all you had to do was pop the question, but where? Where would Floyd want to be when proposed to. Knowing him, he would love it to be a public affair, especially in front of his loved ones. That's when a light bulb went off your head. You knew where to propose. Tomorrow. Tomorrow you were going to make it official.

Today. Today was the day. Today was the day it was going to be official. You held the deep purple velvet box to your chest as you approached the cafeteria. Deuce and Ace shot you a glance at the box.

"Don't you think you're taking this a little too seriously?" Deuce asks, genuinely concerned. Ace nudges him, holding in tears, "Nah, I say they aren't taking it seriously enough! You better give us a fucking speech, Yuu." You look back at your other besties, memories of the time when you proposed to them coming back into your head. "I just hope he says yes."

"Relax, it'll be fine! Me and Deuce will be watching from afar okay?" Cherry and Blueberry. Those were the rings you proposed to those idiots with. You remember it like it was yesterday. The way Ace was moved to tears and Deuce's passionate "what the actual fuck" plays through your head. You know what? They're right! You'll nail this! Floyd will definitely say yes.

You slinked off to where Floyd usually sits, ignoring Ace snickering behind you as he guides Deuce to another table. You saw Floyd chatting with his fellow dorm members. Azul was pinching the bridge of his nose at whatever Floyd was saying, Jade was listening while eating with his chopsticks politely.

When Azul opened his eyes he spotted you. "Ah, hello there Prefect. Is there something you nee–" "Floyd." You interrupted Azul and dropped to one knee dramatically right behind him. The impact of the drop made Jade's food tray rattle and his eyes widen in surprise. Floyd turned around, eyes wide, but amused. "Eeeh? What's this shrimpy~?" He purred in that beautiful voice of his. You swear you heard Ace losing his shit in the background.

"I know we haven't known each other very long, but I have feelings for you. Very strong feelings. You've been an amazing part of my life and I want to make it official." Tears rolled down your eyes as you spoke, and Floyd's eyes went wide as he saw you pull out a box. "Sh… shrimpy…" Jade looked on amused at the proposal as Azul sighed, yet he still watched.

"Will you…" you opened the small box, revealing the ring to him. Floyd let out a gasp and covered his mouth, trying his best to hide a smile. "Will you be my bestie, foreve-" "OH MY GOD YES, YES I WILL!" Floyd immediately tackled you into a hug, lifting you up and squeezing you before spinning around in circles. Ace didn't even bother to hold back his laughter anymore, and even Jade let out a chuckle.

You pulled away slightly, much to Floyd's annoyance, but that annoyance was replaced with delight when he saw you present the ring. Floyd stuck out his hand, allowing you to slip the ring onto his finger. He admired it for a moment, before immediately cronching on it. His eyes were closed and the corners of his lips were in a lazy smile as he chewed, looming like a puppy. Azul had his head in his hands, but who cares what he thinks.

Floyd hoisted you up, bridal style, and held you close to him. "Come on, Shrimpy!" Floyd laughed out. "We're gonna skip class and go celebrate!" And just like that, you and Floyd eloped, running off into the sunset together to celebrate becoming besties. Your relationship flourished as besties and was known worldwide for its seriousness. Even hundreds of years later after you both have passed, historians look on at what is the most beautiful recorded friendship ever. There are plays and songs of you two. Many have goals to be as close to someone like you and Floyd. But even in the future, the tradition of proposing to become besties was a common thing now due to you.

#personal lmao #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #floyd leech #floyd leech x reader #twst #gender neutral #sam twst #sam

[irkimatsu]

This can't possibly be the cringiest thing anyone's ever posted here, can it...? People who are already tired of my shit have me blocked right now, right...?

I wanted to try my hand at how Husk would talk during sex, so here's an ASMR-y script type thing, if that makes sense. Whole thing is in Husk's voice, no responses or descriptors or anything. Just get Husk's smooth buttery voice in your head, then read.

Gender neutral reader, or you can plug in your favorite Husk ship, whatever, I'm not the police. Very 18+.

Mmm… kissing you gets better and better every time. You know exactly what I like.

Of course you can touch me. Yeah, right there on my back, that’s a good spot… use your nails a little, that’s it…

-whoa! Hey! Watch the wings! You know how I get when you touch those!

Hah- hey, if you want me to get worked up, that’s on you. Come on, keep kissing me… mmm…

Damn it, if you keep playing with them like that… you’re not the only one who knows how to tease, you know. Why don’t you take off your shirt for me? That’s it, let me see… god, you’re gorgeous. I’ll never get enough of that body of yours…

What if I kiss you here? Or here? …oh, yeah, I know you like it here. You can’t hide it from me,you’re moaning already…

Is it okay if I use my tongue? I know it’s rough- oh, you like it? Heh… I should know what you’re like by now. Keep scratching under my wings like that, and I’ll kiss and lick you wherever you want… here, and here…

Sure. I’ll go lower… mmm, you’re soft… and you taste so sweet…

Even lower? But your pants are in the way. Mind helping me out with that? There you go, all the way off… underwear, too.

Shit, you’re dripping already. Mind if I have a taste? I’ll be gentle, I promise… do you like my tongue here? Even though it’s rough?

I’d love to keep going. I love how wet you’re getting. Keep making those noises for me, baby, and I’ll take care of the rest. Mmm, fuck… it’s dripping faster than I can lick it up…

Can I touch your legs, too? I’ll be careful with my claws. Ah, every inch of you feels so good… is it okay if I press them in, just a little more? I won’t break the skin… there, I know you like it like this, you can’t stop moaning…

You’re getting close? I can tell, baby… okay, I won’t stop until you’re ready. Mmm… hah…

Mmmph…!

Fuck… fuck, what a mess… means you enjoyed it, huh? Just a couple more licks, you’re so fucking sweet…

Okay, okay, I’ll give you a break. You look like you need one. Come here and sit on my lap. I’ll rub your back, gently, just like this… is it helping you relax? Good.

…I’m glad you’re here with me…

Mmm-! Did I really earn a kiss for saying that? Well, all right. Come on, kiss me more… mmm…

Hold me tight… I love having you against me like this. You’re so warm…

…yeah, I’m pretty excited right now. …oh, you noticed? Can’t hide anything from you…

No, you don’t owe me anything. I went down on you because I wanted to, but you don’t have to-

…well, since you’re asking… I really wanna fuck you right now.

What’s so crass about it? It’s what I want! As long as you want it too…

Mmm. Good. Just hearing you say it is making me even more impatient. Lay down, I wanna get on top of you. Could you help me out of my pants?

Okay, you can stroke it a little… not too much, though, I’m about to burst already…

You like it? It’s not too rough? Do you think it’ll be okay if I put it inside? I’ll go slow, you just tell me how it feels…

Good so far? Ah, you’re good, too… so tight… yeah, I’ll keep going… you like it deep like this?

Fuck, you’re loud. You’re gonna let the whole hotel know what we’re up to in here. …heh. Well, I don’t mind if you don’t… come on, sing for me… yes, yes…

Hands under my wings, tug the fur a little… fuck yes, that’s the spot… don’t let go, okay? I’m gonna go faster…

Really? Even faster? How’s this…? Ah! Fuck that’s good! Yes, keep touching me!

Hah- fuck- if I go even faster- the bed’s already making so much noise-

Anything for you, baby… 

Fuck, fuck, fuck- so good- I can’t stop-

Ah! Oh fuck that’s tight- did you…? Of course I’ll keep going… fuck, fuck…

Keep moaning like that, yes- yes, keep saying my name- fuck you’re amazing- I won’t stop, I can’t-

Close- can I- inside- please-

Haaaaah! Fuck!

…hah… haaaaah… oh… my god… babe…

I… I need to lie down… I haven’t done that in a long time…

…could you hold me…? Let me put my head on your chest. Put your hands on my back- no, lower, I’m still sensitive there- …there, that’s it…

Heh… your heart is hammering. Here, give me your hand… mine is too, see? See what you’re doing to me?

…I didn’t know I could feel like this anymore…

-no. No, I know what you’re trying to say. Please don’t say it.

Of course I care about you! It’s just… you understand, don’t you?

Just care about me, too. That’s all I need right now. Just care about me, and spend the night with me…

I’d like it if we did that again sometime…

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel husk x reader #irk blubbers about nothing #irk huskposts #I really need to practice writing his voice #especially for dirty shit #i need this because of reasons #so here have my practice

[skellymom]

"Bring Me To My Knees" PART 1

Crosshair/Hunter x Reader Non Gendered SMUT++

Dividers by the talented: @saradika and @4ngelic-wh1spers

Background: Reader and Crosshair are separated from the group during the rescue of Omega and Tech from Mt Tantiss. Two broken people trying to get by in the galaxy. Then two broken people finally dealing with what happened to their group.

Word Count: 2.3K

Warning: Star Wars Canon violence, angst, sadness, crying, guilt, stuff blowing up, swearing, kissing, intercourse, heavy petting, hair pulling kink, smutty/lemony content, lovers triangle with Hunter and Crosshair.

FOR CLARITY, THERE IS A HUNTER FLASHBACK SMUT SCENE IN THIS CHAPTER. THE CROSSHAIR SMUT SCENE IS IN CHAPTER 2. Broke this up in 2 chapters because I just couldn't stop writing...and 4K might be too much for one sitting.

*YES! I know Mesh'la is Mando'a speak for beautiful. However, I personally think it sounds pretty sexy when someone uses it while going to Pound Town. I like it better than baby, honey, girl, boy, lover, whatever. My personal kink. If you aren't caught up, there's a whole Tumblr discussion about if the Clones would even use this language. PLEASE just let me have this one word. Thanks.

I purposely wrote the reader in this fic to be of no specific gender. Tried to carefully craft the sexual scenes to accommodate either gender/non gendered/trans/genderfluid/non-binary. Everyone has hills, valleys, sexual organs, nipples, and erogenous zones. I wrote them into the story, but it's up to you dear reader to put your imagination to work. Hope I have done a good enough job that you can enjoy yourself with Hunter and Crosshair without breaking immersion!

Explosions and blaster fire filled the air as you, Phee Genoa, and The Batch escaped Mt Tantiss.  Wrecker led the charge, firing away and punching imps.  Phee behind him with a group of prisoners she freed from the facility.  Hunter, his arm around Tech who was barely able to walk, blaster out firing.  You and Omega supported Crosshair bringing up the rear of the group. 

The Empire attempted to lock down the facility, engaging all doors on every level.  Hunter got Tech past them as they started to close.  

He turned with Tech in tow to shout, “Y/N, Omega, bring Crosshair!  Hurry!!!” 

You and Omega would never make it with the slow progress Cross was making.  Grabbing Omega and with a healthy heft, you slid her across the highly polished flooring.  She barely exited past the threshold just as the doors closed.   

The last thing you and Crosshair saw was Omega loudly protesting while Hunter grabbed the back of her tunic to yank her out of the way.  And the look of total panic on Hunter’s face. 

“Leave me.”  Crosshair weakly slumped against the steel hallway wall. 

“SHUT UP!  Too late for that!!!”  You grabbed Cross’ arm and attempted to pull him up. 

He refused to move.  You were warned he might be difficult. 

“GET UP NOW YOU FUCKING MOP!!!”  Viciously kicking his upper thigh in heated frustration. 

That got his attention.  Crosshair’s head flicked up.  Anger in his eyes. 

You grabbed the front of his tunic with both hands, hefting him up, spitting with rage “I’M NOT DYING HERE!  GET UP YOU UNGRATEFUL ASSHOLE!!!” 

He managed to stand with his arm around your shoulders.  Pulling your blaster.  “How do we get out of here?” 

“How should I know?  Been locked up all this time.” 

“KRIFF!  Knew I threw the wrong person under the door!!!” 

“Didn’t ask YOU to save me.” 

You gritted your teeth and shot the control panel to the door the rest of The Batch disappeared through.  The doors managed to only open a few feet.  You literally stuffed Crosshair into the gap.  His protests were muted by the sound of screams and explosions.  He got stuck halfway through, then you put a foot in his ass and pushed.  He popped through falling into a crouch on the floor.  

“You’re INSANE!” 

“YES!  KEEP MOVING!!!” 

Running up to Cross, you grabbed the back of his tunic and pulled him to his feet.  Both of you ran across the hangar bay.  The Marauder and Phee’s ship were gone.  You weren’t upset, they HAD to leave in a hurry.  It was total chaos.  

You both made a beeline for the first empty Imperial ship available.  Entering, you slid into the pilot’s seat and put up the gangplank.  Then commenced firing on every non-friendly that approached.  Some of the other Imperial ships got caught in the crossfire, exploding dramatically.  Crosshair buckled himself into the co-pilot's chair. 

As your ship left the hangar, two fighters followed in hot pursuit.  You kept the craft low and entered the thick forest, shooting down trees in your path.  Crosshair held onto his seat white knuckled. 

“You’re going to get us killed!” 

“Got any better ideas, Fly Boy?  We’re sitting ducks out in the open.” 

He shut up and held on. 

One ship pulled away from pursuit.    

The other followed.  You kept firing, making a path to evade your pursuer.   

He didn’t last long. One tree you felled, dragged another with it as you passed.  It caught its wing, flinging the ship to the forest floor, exploding brightly behind you. 

Pulling the craft up out of the forest, you ascended... 

...where the other Imperial fighter sat waiting! 

Close enough to see its pilot in the cockpit, waiting to open fire. 

The end of the line. Crosshair inhaled sharply.   

The ship exploded suddenly.  And your craft flew through the fiery remains. 

“Didn’t think I’d leave you?” Hunter’s voice came over the comm. 

You nearly burst into tears of joy.  “Oh, THANK STARS!” 

“Let’s get out of here!  Echo’s sending jump coordinates...” You immediately heard blaster fire over their comm. The transmission broke up. 

“HUNTER???”   

Static.  “...ing to...GO!  Can you hea...” More static.  Comm went dead.  Nothing. 

“HUNTER!  HUNTER...COME IN!!!  CAN YOU HEAR ME???” 

Crosshair shot you a horrified glance. 

The little bit you could discern, your Sergeant’s orders were to leave the planet immediately.  What if they needed help?  You couldn’t leave HIM...them behind! 

You brought the ship around and could see a craft trailing fire and smoke behind it.  Looked to be the Havoc Marauder making its way off world.  Several Imperial fighters were gaining on it.  Kicking your ship into gear and taking off in their direction.  You picked off two and allowed the Marauder to make the jump to hyperspace. 

The last ship circled round. 

Panicking, locking up, “Where did they go?  I don’t have coordinates!” 

Crosshair’s terse voice came from the co-pilot's seat, “Pick ANY!  We don’t have time!!!” 

“But...we...” 

“DO IT or we die!”  Dark eyes bore into your skull.  “I’LL DO IT!!!  You make the jump!”  He furiously typed something into the craft’s dash. 

“Jump...NOW!!!” 

The Imperial fighter on your tail, firing. 

You sat frozen.  Your hand a lead weight on the jump lever. 

“DAMMIT!”  Crosshair slammed his hand on top of yours, shoving the lever over.  The black star-studded sky elongated; bright blue light burst through the windscreen. 

You sat staring through the windscreen of the ship, blue blurs whizzing past. 

“Y/N?” 

A hand suddenly on your shoulder. 

“WHAT!”  You jumped and snapped upright. 

“You...went away for a while...” 

Staring at Crosshair’s unreadable expression. 

“We’ll find them.  Take some time, though.” 

Nodding, you relaxed back in the seat.  “Yeah, gonna take some doing.” 

Handing the soup bowl to Crosshair, he sulked...and refused to eat...again. 

“You NEED to eat.” 

He sneered. 

“Don’t make me regret getting you out of that facility.” 

Cross sighed heavily and took the bowl.  He STILL wasn't eating, just staring into it.  This man was driving you insane...if you didn’t kill him first. 

“It’s actually pretty good for a ration packet.  Provided you eat it while still warm.” 

“Why are you bothering?” 

ON YOUR LAST NERVE. 

“Why did YOU bother pushing us into hyperspace...if you want to suffer and die so badly?” 

Silence. 

Suddenly you had the urge to slap the damned bowl out of his hand.  “REALLY???  Let your skinny ass STARVE!  Ungrateful son-of-a...kriffing...GAH!  FUCK!!!” 

Your sudden anger sparked something. 

Crosshair slowly smirked. 

“Knock it off and DRINK YOUR FUCKING SOUP!”  Getting up, stalking off, mumbling angrily to yourself...hoping the tiny food galley didn’t have any knives. 

Checking up later, you found the bowl empty.  Cross slumped in the chair; eyes closed. 

To anyone else, it would look like he was napping.  You knew better. 

You picked up the bowl to take it back to the galley. 

“My compliments to the chef.” 

You rolled your eyes. 

“I meant it.” 

“Whatever.” 

Cross opened his eyes, aiming for an argument.  “It’s a compliment.  Take it or leave it.” 

“I don’t trust you.” 

An unexpectedly hurt expression flickered across his face.  “This isn’t about the soup, is it?” 

“No genius.  I was warned you’re a constant shit stirrer.” 

“Well, Hunter was never my biggest fan.” 

“It wasn’t Hunter.” 

This seemed to surprise Crosshair. 

“Echo...he’s a bit of a shit stirrer himself.  Takes one to know one.” 

Cross raised an eyebrow. 

“Oh...and Wrecker thinks you take yourself too seriously.  I think his actual words were...he needs to unclench his butt cheeks.” 

Raised the other eyebrow. 

“But Wrecker was incorrect.” 

“Oh?” 

“As far as I can tell, you DON’T have an ass.” 

Crosshair leaned forward, slight smirk around the edges of his mouth. 

“Been looking...have you?” 

“I think most people would say you’re just a torso with legs...Toothpick.” 

He genuinely smiled at the new nickname. 

“More soup?” 

“Yes more, Soup.” 

Nights were difficult and Crosshair struggled to sleep through. Awakening to hear him working through a nightmare. Sometimes he would mutter, groan, and thrash about, eventually snoring again. This happened several times a night. Other times he would awaken, panting and sweating, trying to remember he was no longer imprisoned on Mt Tantiss. 

At first, he turned down your attempts to soothe him. That didn’t last long. It became a habit of you sitting next to his bunk on the metal floor, talking him through it. Eventually, you just crawled into bed and laid there next to him. It was certainly more comfortable than that damned hard floor. 

Crosshair’s breathing settled into a regular rhythm. Stars, it was warm and cozy in this bunk. The idea of walking across that cold decking to your own bunk just seemed depressing. Five more minutes and you’d get up.  

That didn’t happen. Two minutes in and you passed out cold. 

(You like a song to go with the scene? Please check out this song. It "literally" FUCKS!!!)

"Mmhmmm...” 

The deep bass of Hunter’s groan making you wetter as his hard cock slid in and out of you.

“Ohh...fuu...mmm...” Words were difficult when he kissed your neck like this. Whispering sweet things in your ear while gently fucking your brains out. 

Laying on your sides, facing each other. One leg thrown over his hips, both of your hands deep in his curls. Grasping them with ferocity. The pain brought him pleasure... 

Hunter slid his hand down your back to firmly grip your buttocks and picked up the rhythm of his thrusts. 

“Kriff...can’t wait to do this...with you...in our home...all...the...fucking...time...” The last four words he spoke with each luscious stroke of his member. 

“Huuunter...” Your eyes rolled back into your head. 

“Got...a nice...little planet...just...for us...” 

Heat and intensity rising in you. 

“You...want...that...too...?” 

...sliding in... 

You gasp...” Yes...” 

“Yeah?” Cajoling you with that sexy fucking voice. 

...sliding out... 

“YES...” 

...sliding in... 

“Tell me, Mesh’la.” He’s shuddering. 

Your back arches “YES!!!” 

Hunter reaches out and caresses your face... 

...and you awake with a start. Crosshair had an expression like he’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Pulling back his hand suddenly. 

“Wu-what???” He stammered. 

Trying to shake off your sleepy arousal...slurring. “Did...YOU jus’ touch...Mah face?” 

“WHY are YOU still in my bunk?” 

The dream-feeling melting away...your brain having to process the waking world... 

“...because...your nightmares... I’m the dumbass...who makes sure you sleep.” 

Silence. Crosshair studying your face. 

“You’re welcome.” 

“Well, I’m NOT having one NOW.” 

“Ships cold during the night. Ain’t going nowhere.” You rolled over, giving him your back. Maybe...you could pick that dream back up? 

“Fine. You can stay if YOU stop moaning Hunter’s name when you spoon ME!” 

You rolled back over shocked. 

“Yes, you did.” 

“What else did I say...or do?” 

Crosshair grinned like he knew too much and rolled over without answering. 

Weeks passed as you and Crosshair bickered your way slowly through the galaxy.  The Empire tamped down tightly on most of the planets in the system.  The Outer Rim while wildly dangerous, seemed mostly untouched and safest. 

You both did side jobs to keep yourselves fed while trying comm channels and leaving messages with close contacts about the rest of The Batch’s whereabouts.   

Everything seemed to lead to a dead end.  Like they just disappeared. 

In your heart of hearts, you knew Hunter would NEVER stop looking for you both...even if Cross had his doubts. 

The open-air market on some back water Outer Rim moon provided a distraction. The textile stand caught your eye. Beautiful scarves...you picked up a jet black one with fine silver metallic strands running through it. 

"Good choice. It compliments your hair." The elderly shop keep stepped from behind a long quilt hanging behind the counter. 

"Marv! Are you flirting again?" An older woman approached clearly teasing her husband. 

"Now why would I do that when I have you, my sweet Meiloorun? Besides, here's their partner now." 

Cross sauntered up to the counter, amused at the comment. 

"Hello honey" He teased. 

You rolled your eyes, ignoring his "greeting." "Toothpick, what do you think of this scarf?" 

"Hmm, not really my style." Cross reached down to pull another scarf from under the pile. "Now this one..." 

It was rusty red with fine intermittent broken off-white stripes dispersed through it. Crosshair draped it around his neck. "What do you think?" 

The blood drained from your face. 

"No..." You dropped the scarf and hurried away from the stand. 

Cross caught up to you a few moments later...still wearing that damned scarf.  

“Soup!” 

You kept walking, angry...and hurt. 

"Care to explain?" 

Stopping and grabbing the fabric in your fist. "That's HIS scarf...NOT YOURS!  

Cross softened. Not a trace of snark on his face. "You WERE in love with Hunter." 

"We are STILL in a relationship, Crosshair! Just because Hunter and I are apart doesn't mean that ended." 

Crosshair stared into your eyes with such an intensity...it was difficult to keep eye contact. 

"So...I complicate those feelings." It wasn't a question. He didn't need to ask. 

You noticed his eyes changed from brown to grey in this perfect light. The light of the sun starting to set on this backwater moon. Almost the same color as his brother's eyes. 

You sighed deeply, letting go of the scarf. Your hand dropping to rest, open palmed on Crosshair's chest. 

He stepped closer, placing his warm hand over yours. 

“We’ll find them.” 

“How? We’ve been looking...” 

He squeezed your hand. “Marv and Mel...they’re a front for The Rebellion. Gathering intel and recruiting volunteers to fight the Empire.” 

You looked up at Crosshair with renewed hope. 

“They know where we can find Rex. He’ll be able to help us.” 

You nodded. So many thoughts going through your head. 

Cross took the scarf off and slid it over your head, to rest around your shoulders.  

“C’mon Soup, there’s a place around here with those Space Cakes you like. My treat.” 

He led the way hugging you closely. 

PLEASE like, comment, and/or REBLOG!

To read Part 2:

https://www.tumblr.com/skellymom/744276448825769984/bring-me-to-my-knees-part-2?source=share

#the bad batch #star wars #tbb #bad batch #clone force 99 #tbb hunter #the bad batch hunter #tbb crosshair #the bad batch crosshair #reader x tbb crosshair #reader x the bad batch crosshair #reader x tbb hunter #reader x the bad batch hunter #tbb fan fic #tbb fan fiction #skellymom #tbb hunter fan fic #the bad batch hunter fan fiction #tbb crosshair fan fic #the bad batch crosshair fan fic #the bad batch crosshair fan fiction #tbb hunter smut #the bad batch hunter smut #tbb crosshair smut #the bad batch crosshair smut #bring me to my knees #tbb lemony content #the bad batch lemony content #tbb crosshair x non gendered reader #the bad batch crosshair x non gendered reader

[sapphicdib]

"i could gush about my sig headcanons all day but auuughvjgghh". You know what, do it. I dare you. After that sleepy iterators post I'm itching for more headcanons to ponder.

SORRY THIS IS RLLY LATE, IVE BEEN WORKING A LOT

THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME HAVE AN EXCUSE TO HAVE A CATEGORY 10 AUTISM MOMENT ON THE DASH. this is legit about to be a better essay than anything ive ever turned in for university so strap in, obv everything is gonna be under the cut bc this is prolly gonna be long as fuck

Okay! My main headcanons for Sig are:

He uses he/she/it pronouns, but mainly he/she!

He's a bioengineering dork.

She's a specialized medical facility!

She doesn't really care much about the great problem, and thus has a lot of hobbies. He knitted her own scarf!

She has a lot of friends, even outside of the local group. He's incredibly close with Chasing Wind.

He's a mid-gen iterator, (Ages being: LTTM, SRS, SOS, CW, NSH, UI, FP), so his emotional AI is a lot more advanced than Suns' (there's quite a gap between the two, Suns is closer to Moon in terms of age).

She considers Hunter to be her daughter, Hunter calls him her dadmom and Moon her mom.

He tends to bury these emotions down for the sake of others, which leads to...bad situations.

She's terrified of being alone :)

Sig just gives me gender fucky-wucky vibes. Her pronouns are the/bit and he's committed to it. There's not really a basis for this in canon but it just fits his personality of being pretty laid back and goofy when not in um. emotional distress. Also the accessorizing to his puppet (ie the scarf) makes me think he likes to experiment with her appearance and presentation. To add on to this in the streamer au she goes by any pronouns and is pretty androgynous, so none of his followers can tell his AGAB, and its funny to him to watch the chat argue about it. (He's AFAB, tbh I can't see her as anything else). No one can guess his sexuality either, the only "confirmed" thing seems to be polyamourous, but other than that it's "whatever makes it gay", or "whatever pisses you off most".

Sig obviously has a knack for bioengineering, as he was the one who started investigating the idea of using purposed messengers to stay in contact with others once the comms degraded, not to mention the creation of the slag reset keys. Yes this is my incoming rant of "Sig is not bad at making slugcats", since sometimes people tend to act like "Sig didn't follow Suns' instructions" or something like that, and that's why Hunter is sick. There are MULTIPLE points in their conversations where it's outright stated that Sig was the one who did it first:

Sig was the one who showed Suns the process:

SRS: I purposed a messenger, and sent the information by land via a data pearl. NSH: How original of you. SRS: I learned from the best.

Sig clearly has experiences with messengers, and Spearmaster happens before Sig begins working on Hunter:

NSH: I feel like I need to be simplifying my speech patterns. Is that something you do when conversing with your messenger?

SUNS SAYS "ANOTHER" MESSENGER, AND THEN LATER SIG SAYS "ANOTHER MESSENGER" AS WELL. SIG HAS MADE MESSENGERS BEFORE:

SRS: Do you suppose you'll ever raise another messenger?

NSH: I'm tempted to start work on raising another messenger as a last ditch effort, but to be honest I don't think there is any point.

And then, in her reply, she says, "*I* started investigating the method".

NSH: If the need arises, I certainly would. After all, I started investigating the method out of the inevitability of our situation.

And just to nail it down that Sig was the one who purposed them first, the gossip between Wandering Omen and Pleading Intellect:

PI: You haven't heard about what No Significant Harassment did? WO: All I heard was the complaining. Didn't he send an iterator something distasteful? PI: Well, yes, but more importantly, he trained a purposed organism to deliver it!

WO: How do you even get a dull creature such as that to follow orders? I may consider asking him to teach me his ways.

So yes, Sig was the one to purpose the messengers first. She had already made at least one in the past, to send the "distasteful message" to someone. I'd honestly say he probably made more between that/before, to test the efficacy and also just to mess around with the process.

This leads into my next headcanon: Sig was a specialized medical facility! Five Pebbles mentions to Hunter that "I was not a medical facility even when the equipment was functioning," so I believe that there were some more specialized iterators built. Sig's knowledge of bioengineering could be an indication of this specialization, not to mention it fits with him not really caring about the great problem to the same degree as everyone else. Purely headcanon after this point, but when Sig was first built, Moon was very nervous about getting a new model of "specialized" iterator that she wouldn't be able to help train as well! Moon was a more generalized iterator as she was older, so she does have knowledge about medicine and bioengineering, as all iterators did for the health and growth of her city, but nothing to the degree Sig would need. Thankfully, iterators are fucking supercomputers, so its not like Sig needed much "training" in the way of that, but still. Moon wanted to be a good mentor to her! And she very much was, considering how Sig turned out. That's why they ended up so close.

After the mass ascension, he became the resident "doctor" of the local group. Pointing back to the slag reset keys, Sig seems to have shoved as many as he could into that thing, since Pebbles reacts to the amount of them with surprise, so he knows his way around iterator biology. In pure headcanon mode now, when they develop my tangible projections thing (which Sig and Moon were heavily involved in), it meant that she could actually help others by preforming repairs on their puppets, and even their structures by sending her overseer into them. Moon's inspectors enjoy head pats from her whenever he's passing by.

Her being a medical facility also means she doesn't give as much thought to finding the Triple Affirmative as others. His processing power was delegated more towards finding cures, aiding the sick, and engineering better production techniques for medical equipment and such. His city is also highly accessible and optimized for the disabled and elderly. When you're a medical facility, your goal is more to keep people alive than perma-kill them! I mostly get this headcanon from the fact that when Suns is faced with "what to do" other than solve the great problem, they respond with "What else CAN we do? You're stuck in your can, and at any moment you have no more than two alternatives: Do nothing, or work like you're supposed to.". Meanwhile, Sig responds to Suns' question about purposing another messenger with "There's nothing better for me to do with my time, though.". Not to mention, he was already purposing messengers before this, so she certainly wasn't dedicating all of her time to iterating the great problem! Of course, he probably did iterate on it, just not to the degree his peers did. He also jokes about it in that broadcast where Wind is telling everyone about erratic pulse, saying "Haha with the slimers, lizards and etceteras? Surely the answer was in a lizard skull all along!" so it really seems like he doesn't take it very seriously.

Her disinterest in solving the problem led to her developing a wide range of hobbies. He's an iterator after all, they probably get horrifically bored if they're not doing something! She taught herself to knit (telling his citizens it helped her focus so they would provide her with needles and yarn), and eventually learns to make garments as well. I headcanon he plays video games too, especially with Chasing Wind, mostly just because she probably wanted to see if an iterator could run Doom for the lolz. Probably also trolls in the group chats sometimes, considering the "distasteful pearl", and I think her being being NGI ("No Great Ideas") would be funny as hell. This also makes it pretty obvious why I made the streamer au, Sig's a top level player for multiple FPS games and has won some pretty prestigious awards in esports tournaments. And then she goes home and plays Hollow Knight randomizers with Pebbles in a maid outfit.

Sig's personality also lent itself to having a lot of friends. Her and Chasing Wind were built less than 50 cycles apart (Wind is older), so they're practically attached at the hip. Wind isn't in her local group (He's in Sliver's), but they're still very close. It's not really explored much in canon since we really only see her interact with Suns for the most part, but given her personality, I don't think it'd be a far off assumption for him to have lots of friends. Because she's younger, she also has a more sophisticated emotional AI...which can be detrimental at times, but is helpful when it comes to maintaining friendships!

AHAH So here comes the um. SAD portion of the rant lol. I feel like Sig buries her emotions down a lot, for the sake of others. In her conversations with Suns, we do see him get snappy with him, but for the most part he remains either calm or sympathetic, at the most a bit pessimistic towards the end. When she finally does call Suns out for their bullshit, he (presumably) stops replying to Suns for a short time before apologizing and continuing to talk to them.

SRS: I'm in noticing you are becoming more defensive. This obviously wasn't the end result I was aiming for, you know. SRS: Please respond to my messages. I don't want to leave it like this. I need someone to talk to. NSH: I don't mean to be cold, I'm just very worried.

After this interaction, Sig seems to either just reply with facts/possibly explanations for Moon/Pebbles' actions, or completely changing the subject to Suns' messenger, which then leads to the broadcast where Suns is telling her all the ways they modified their messenger to sneak past Sig's overseers, by not giving them the mark and hiding the pearl, we see Sig's replies become very short, single sentence answers.

This to me reads as slightly passive aggressive, but Suns doesn't seem to pick up on it. To be honest I in my head I hear this as Sig hissing this shit through clenched teeth if he could, but it's just text so I suppose we'll never know.

Additionally, he still does let his emotions overwhelm her at points, (such as during the "Your plan was a complete failure" broadcast), but the most blatant is probably in the messages she sends to Moon and Pebbles.

Starting with the Pebbles one:

NSH: Five Pebbles, I will say once again. You need to stop. Immediately. NSH: I know you are going to trash this message like the rest, but... NSH: I hope eventually when you are out of this state of mind you will look back at these. NSH: Look back and reflect on all the regrets you've set yourself up to have.

Sig is angry. Like he shows no sympathy for him, and just hopes he wallows in regret for the rest of his life. She does express his dislike of Pebbles while talking to Suns as well, but manages to still be nice by saying "I think a lot of us were like that in the beginning.", and such, and then drops the subject by the next broadcast by talking about Suns' messenger. He only ever talks about Moon's condition, likely to keep himself from being a dick about Pebbles in front of Suns because talking directly about him is obviously pretty touchy. But this broadcast is straight up mean. She doesn't manage to hold back her emotions but to be honest? I don't think he actually cares, if he burns that bridge with Pebbles then fine, because Pebbles burned it first.

Pebbles took away one of the few friends he still had in this dying world.

I really and truly believe that Sig's biggest fear is being alone. She makes the slugcats as a way to keep in contact with others after the comms arrays degrade. After being snappy with Suns, she immediately backtracks, apologizes, and keeps talking to them, even if it hurts. His messages to Moon also emphasize this:

NSH: Moon? Moon, are you able to communicate?

NSH: Moon? It's me again.

NSH: I need to talk to you. I need to know you're okay.

The fact that we are provided two of these broadcasts and not just one seems to point to the idea that these are not the only two Sig sent. "It's me again." There is more desperation in her tone compared to the messages he shares with Suns, possibly because he's more comfortable expressing his profound distress with Moon because they're closer. A part of me headcanons she...never stopped sending messages. He needs to know she's okay. You can even find a green overseer in outer expanse and subterranean, locked out of the facility but still searching, still looking for any sign of Moon...or Hunter.

When Sig sends Hunter to Moon, the pearl he sends is goofy and lighthearted. He doesn't want to bring her down when she's already suffering enough. It's short, and sweet, because anything longer would probably devolve into something unpleasant. She's holding the words on that pearl together with tape and glue. Once again, hiding the pure grief he feels for the sake of others.

I also think that's why Hunter is sick. Once again, pure headcanon, but Sig mentions this on the pearl:

Excuse the unorthodox delivery method, equipment eroding etc etc.

I kinda interpret this as Sig pushing herself too hard to make Hunter in time to save Moon, and in turn, irreversibly damaging himself in the process. An emergency shutdown occurred after he ignores the 50th pressure warning his systems desperately tried to get her to pay attention to, causing Hunter to become sick thanks to the sudden disruption in his concentration, much like Pebbles and the rot. This is also why no other messengers were sent after this, Sig simply couldn't make any more that were healthy. She loved Hunter, and I fully believe that, as Hunter's last vision in the void sea was to return to his arms. Continuing the pure headcanons now, but he treats Hunter like a daughter and knits her a scarf for her journey. She tells Hunter that Moon is her mom. She gives Hunter a name, which were held in very high regard in ancient culture, a gift so she can at least be remembered for her sacrifice: "Hunting the Stars, Moon's Savior."

All and all, Sig is desperately trying to delay the inevitable, watching the walls of loneliness close in as she loses contact with friends, slowly encroaching on her until he's locked up in a box. Alone.

HOWEVER!

I for one, absolutely adore the goofy, flirty personality the fandom gives Sig. I really do believe when he isn't in extreme emotional distress, she is like that. The motherfucker uses tildes in his texts and teases Suns and makes jokes about slimers and lizards. I just like peeling apart the little snippets we see of him, which are mostly at pretty low moments unfortunately, and just seeing what I can extrapolate from that. Even if some of my headcanons are far-fetched and shit, I do at least try to keep most of them at least slightly in character with some explanation.

I hope you enjoyed my unhinged rant about my favorite guy!!!! I put this in google docs and its literally like, 2.4k words, I could genuinely have turned this in to one of my fucking college courses LMFAO. It's probably better than some of the garbage I DID turn in tbh. If you want more I am totally happy to provide, cuz I could make a whole OTHER ramble about Hunter that's just as long LMAOOOO

(Oh also none of this applies to rot au Sig. that freak deserves her own post bc at this point he's 50% oc and 50% No Significant Harassment Rain World LOL)

#rain world #rain world downpour #no significant harassment #NSH RW #rw no significant harassment #rain world lore #letters #GIANT ESSAY INCOMING #IVE BEEN ALLOWED TO RANT ABOUT MY BLORBO #CATEGORY 10 AUTISM MOMENT #rw

[pansy-picnics]

Sorry but your recent artwork has me thinking about parent Varigo and I have to dump my thoughts somewhere. I feel like, if they actually had a kid it would be really emotional for them but in different ways. Varian finds out he’s pregnant and is a little scared at first, but he actually adjusts to the idea pretty fast and is excited about it, because he’s in a good place now and has a good support system. He doesn’t have to worry about his family judging him, he knows they’ll still see him for who he is. Hugo on the other hand is terrified. But not because he doesn’t wanna be a dad, he’s pretty excited about that, he’s just really scared that Varian is going to get sick from the pregnancy, or that the whole experience is gonna be too much for him. He feels like this is just another thing he’s “putting Varian through” because he’s still not quite over the guilt of his betrayal years ago, and now it’s coming back to haunt him. They work it out of course and Hugo realizes that it’s gonna be okay and that he also can depend on Varian’s family for support because they’re his family too. Now I’m emotional. Anyway I love your art <3

AUGHHHH YEAH YEAH THIS IS SO REAL!!!!! i love plots like that fr, their characters are so fun to explore😭😭😭 Honestly? i think in the right circumstances hugo could be a deadbeat dad. like he could just straight up leave bc he’s paranoid varian or the kid would get hurt or he’d put them in danger or something. he’s the kind of guy who’s always Running! like i could think of scenarios where he’d run away on their wedding day too. those are both horrible extremes SORRY FOR THE ANGST I JUST THINK IT’S NEAT.

i think hugo’s always WANTED a family but its something she’s always viewed as unachievable, mostly bc of the shitty living situation hes been in for most of his life. she could barely survive on her own and she’d never want to drag someone else into that yk? and she’s still scared of that commitment even after she moves into the castle, bc what if she DID have a kid and then something happened and she couldn’t take care of them anymore, or she ends up on the streets again….and what if she just ends up abandoning them? what if she’s no better than the parents she never even knew? it’s like, obviously she wouldn’t do any of those things or be in those situations but she has….a Lot of anxiety around it for sure. but i also think that she tries to adopt literally every orphan she and varian see. she LOVES kids as much as she pretends she doesn’t and its very obvious….she just hasn’t really had the privilege to be able to think about it until now.

varian…i think he goes either way, he doesn’t really plan to have kids but he’ll kinda learn to adjust to whatever, he’s also just a very family oriented guy so he’s definitely not opposed to that kind of role. in my head they usually adopt bc i think varian like, Hates anything related to the human body at all so even disregarding the gender dysphoria pregnancy is SO gross to him. idk why i just think he’s silly like that. hell make bombs and poisonous chemicals but he remembers people have organs and he wants to throw up. i’m not opposed to the idea of them having biological kids at all though…especially considering all the art i’ve already drawn for it’s us against the world LOL. personally i think even if he weren’t opposed to the idea he’d be miserable the entire time, and not even like in a serious way necessarily he’s just REALLY mad that he can’t work in the lab anymore. he’s pissed about EVERYTHING, actually. he’s bored and he’s tired and he can’t work and he feels like shit and he doesn’t really have any other hobbies either. his whole life and routine has been completely fucked over for nine months and SURE he loves the kid and he’s excited but like why does it need to be in there that long. why can’t it just come from the stork or something. 🙄/j

i think he might pick a few fights with hugo bc of it, just because he’s so overwhelmed and emotional and doesn’t know how to handle it, but hugo’s really understanding; also they’ll honestly take any kind of treatment from him because they’re like, “Yeah i probably deserved that”. which varian does NOT like btw and always gets on his ass later to stick up for himself more while also in tears apologizing for yelling at him

idk i just think them as parents would be Sooo silly. neither of them have any clue what they’re doing. dude if those two had a baby? Dude can you imagine? varian’s sooo fucking sheltered i think he’s only interacted with like, 2 babies in his entire life. quirin stays with them for tje first few weeks bc varian literally just has NO clue what he’s doing and is crying to him all the time. and hugo like, has an idea of what to do but he’s also SUPER paranoid. they’re both just staring at the kid while they sleep not so much out of adoration but because they’re just terrified they’ll stop breathing at any moment. you cant convince me that either of them know how to change a diaper. They’re gonna bring out like full lab gear. like the gag where the dads will pull out full hazmat suits for the diaper change. That’s them idc

ruddiger is also SO protective of their kids from the moment they’re born, like he jumps up into the crib and snuggles up with them and they always IMMEDIATELY stop crying. olivia is the opposite. she’s kinda like a toddler who just got a new sibling she didn’t want. shes pissed that she isn’t getting hugo’s full attention and keeps being a brat about it. hugo’s just trying to calm down his baby and olivias glaring at him while she’s about to push a glass off the table

yeah idk i. have a lot of thoughts abt them too they’re so beloved to me

#tangled the series #rapunzels tangled adventure #vat7k #varian and the seven kingdoms #varian and the 7 kingdoms #varigo #tts headcanons #varian #vat7k hugo #pansy rambling again #ask #tangled ask #hugo rottewange

[rlyehtaxidermist]

so I’ve seen some posting about oil fire going around and as one of the people sitting in the eye of that particular hurricane i have a couple thoughts. keep in mind that I obviously can’t speak for every single Poster etc etc, obviously this is just my view on things. in particular don’t quote Twitter at me because the only time I was ever active on there was back when “have a visible professional social media account” was considered important for the job hunt. I know nothing of Touhou Twitter or Touhou Reddit and I am content in my ignorance

Anyway there’s three major points of criticism I’ve seen, and one of them as basically “it’s just a nothingburger that came out of nowhere” and even ignoring the history of that in Touhou in general, I’m going to set it aside because I don’t think it needs a more specific rebuttal than the length of this post. so on to the two more substantial complaints I’ve seen:

“it’s just a sex ship”: look, I won’t deny that there’s been a lot of sexposting. i’ve probably posted more about cock in the last 48 hours than in the last five years combined. almost certainly more than i will in the next five too. but there’s a subtext to it that often gets missed (not just by critics but also by a lot of sexposters).

these are two characters who have had... a bit of a history with being sexualised by the fandom. i shouldn’t need to recite all the “slut sanae” memes, those who know know and honestly they were never funny, but they existed. tsukasa meanwhile was stuck with “sex fox” pretty much from the beginning due to some kuda-gitsune legends specifically involving their rapid reproduction.

obviously this is going to go more into the personal view and i reiterate that i’m not speaking for Everyone’s posts, but I’m asexual. the whole emphasis people put on sex as a cultural thing, not just in terms of Posting about it but also in terms of Not Posting about it is funny to me. people dance around it like they’re waltzing with the demon core but also are baffled when i say i’m just not into it.

the oil fire sexposting isn’t about “lol they’re fucking”. there was already plenty of that. the joke is that it’s not a big deal that they’re fucking - it’s not dramatic or cathartic or even erotic. they’re bad at it, they get distracted, they’re not really thinking things through; fail sex with her cringe wife. it’s sexual in the way that a Tom and Jerry sketch is violent - stepping back from the artifice around it to say “you know, whatever else this is, it’s pretty goofy”. to me at least, that’s more of a repudiation of horny character exaggeration than simply ignoring it is.

(there’s also a false equivalence to me in the general notion of “it’s just hornyposting”, between hornyposting by straight men and that of queer women and/or the gender blender, when the characters involved are both women - especially in light of the reasonably consistent depiction of one or both as transgender in oil fire posting. there’s better people than me and my none gender with leftist beef to effortpost on that side of things.)

“tsukasa is manipulating sanae” I’d add a single phrase here - she’s trying to. The big thing with a lot of how I look at Sanae and this is no exception is that while she can be naive, she’s not stupid. There’s a difference between being trusting and being easily deceived. She’s not a master manipulator, but she lives with Kanako, she knows a bit of how the game is played.

I think this kind of echoes the last bit of the last segment, in that how the characters are portrayed in the context matters a lot. Oil Fire Sanae is, at least within the spheres I see here, heavily coded as if not explicitly autistic. A lot of the content is being written by autistic people, myself included.

Autistic adults are, in my anecdotal experience, pretty conscious of being manipulative or manipulated, because we have to learn deliberately where that line is drawn and how to act around it.

To get into explicitly personal experiences, I often think of myself as being “manipulative” because I have to deliberately strategise a lot of social cues and how I present myself and information I know, and still haven’t really shook that perspective internally despite the intellectual knowledge of several therapists and psychiatrists that no, that’s just an autism thing, most people do all that stuff without thinking about it.

Now obviously simply Being Autistic is not an unassailable fortress against manipulation, nor does it prevent you from being actually manipulative in your own right, but it does tilt the pinball table a bit, again especially in terms of awareness. And that awareness helps control a response - again, even if you’re not always quite sure how to respond.

Sanae’s way of cutting that Gordian knot is what a friend of mine calls the Bishop Myriel Method: how can someone steal what is freely given? She has her lines, but the stuff Tsukasa is leaning on her to get - protection, shelter, and an in-group - are all things Sanae doesn’t see an issue with giving to her. Tsukasa for her part doesn’t really understand this, being more used to dealing with power-broker types where everything has a quid-pro-quo, and from a position of pretty notable inferiority (just look at how any of the stronger youkai talk to her in UDoALG) at that - so she looks at all the leverage that Sanae now has over her (leverage which Sanae doesn’t really understand she has), and doubles down on trying to be manipulative because she doesn’t understand that she doesn’t have to.

in conclusion obviously I’m not thinking about all this wall of text every time I post something, for the same reason that I’m not thinking about how my house’s foundations are designed every time I go up or down the stairs - the general idea is there in the background and actually needing to go check it out usually means that I won’t be doing whatever I was going up the stairs for in the first place. but these are The Thoughts, upon which the lower effort thoughts stand as they heckle each other. there are many like them but these are mine

#touhou #oil fire #just to be clear before the piss on the poor website hits again: i'm not saying 'people who don't like it are ableist/transphobic' or w/e #i'm sure it's not to everyone's tastes and you do you #but just because you don't like something doesn't mean people who do like it only have Dumb Reasons for it

[mister-mickey]

Sexuality headcanons

(Does not have anything to do with the ship hcs, these are my personal hcs. It’s more related to the twitter au but even then it’s not 100% the same)

Experience doesn’t necessarily mean sex, just like dating and such

Darry

- Cis and gay lol

- He likes guys that fight (Paul, tim)

- That’s why he liked football so much lolol

- Despite this he doesn’t have a lot of experience with other guys because he only dated girls in highschool

Soda

- Bisexual ofc. Also cis but very connected to fem side

- His type is uhh. Mean ppl. He hates to admit it though and makes excuses for his partner/crush

- “No Sandy isn’t cheating on me she just has lots of guy friends!” “Steve isn’t mean he’s just bitey!”

- Has experience with lots of different ppl because he’s so in demand so he’s good at flirting (charming handsome boy)

Pony

- Hm. Also bisexual because if taht obvious crush on cherry but also everyone else in the book lmao. Non-binary in a “I don’t give a fuck about my gender” way. Still he/him

- Doesn’t have a set type, it’s literally just anyone. He meets someone? Oh wow, new crush.

- It seems like he’s attracted to assholes, but it’s actually just because everyone around him is an asshole

- No experience, he’s 14 and kind of losery (I love him still, not pb hate)

Twobit

- Bisexual but leans towards girl, cis

- Canon that he likes blondes, so I bet he’s made out with dally at a party at least once.

- Marcia is an obvious exception to this and he doesn’t understand it. He jokes about her dying her hair blonde but he really does like her as is

- Lots of experience I’m sure. He’s funny and charming, I’d be surprised if he didn’t

Dally

- Bisexual but leans toward guys, cis

- Likes people that kick his ass (tim, Sylvia) honestly his type is just people that see him for who he is

- Tim and Sylvia are his toxic exes that he keeps going back to. He hates it but they really are some of the only people that he feels understand him

- He’s Dallas, im pretty sure Ponyboy mentioned him having tons of flings so he’s got experience.

Steve

- Gay, and I read a really good fic where he was ftm and it rearranged my brain so he’s trans now

- His type is pretty boys (soda) he’s mostly only ever had a crush on soda so it’s not like he’s explored his type lol

- He dated evie because she was friends with Sandy and he wanted to double date with soda and Sandy so he could watch them the entire time (jealous mf)

- Zero experience, he refused to even kiss evie and he never had the guts to even look at other guys

Johnny

- Hm. Gay and cis, but he seriously questioned his gender for a bit because he didn’t have much of a self concept and he couldn’t imagine himself at all. He decided to stop thinking about it because it stressed him out

- His type is people that he thinks are better than him (Dallas, for being tuffer, pony, for being smarter) he thinks that being around cool people will make him feel better about himself

- It doesn’t work, but he still likes to do it. Anyway, pony and dally still make him feel better in other ways because they think he’s so cool

- No experience, nobody ever flirts with him (or even notices him) except for Sylvia that one time. He thinks he’s ugly but honestly he just needs to put himself out there

Tim

- Gay and ftm (projecting lolll) very few people know because he was really young when he transed. Like when he was like 4 and his parents were like “hm okay whatever we don’t care anyway.” Also itty bitty titty committee so he doesn’t even have to bind (jealous)

- His type is literally just tough guys. That’s why he dated dallas and why he likes darry. They’re both tough and good at fighting.

- also dated Sylvia but only to make dally mad (and he regretted it because he realized immediately afterwards that he was definitely gay. Sylvia thought it was funny)

- Lots of experience but only with select people (people he can trust)

Angela

- Bisexual but doesn’t realize it lol, cis

- She likes traditionally masculine guys and traditionally feminine girls. Idk why but she likes it. Tbf it’s the sixties she wouldn’t be exposed to many fem guys and masc girls. Maybe she had a crush on Sylvia

- Dated bryon and actually really liked him for a bit. She broke up with him for pb but regretted it lmao.

- Bryon was her first bf so no real experience. Also tim chases any possible beaus away so she’s real unlucky

Curly

- Gay and cis, but too stupid to realize that he’s gay

- His type is any man ever. (Saw tuffponyboy’s post about how curly likes dally, bryon, and Sodapop and I committed it to my belief system)

- But he also likes pony. Maybe he even realizes and is like “omg I’m a homosexual 😧” and he doesn’t realize that everyone around him is also gay and wouldn’t judge him.

- Zero experience, gets no bitches, loser. Also he’s fifteen and he cares more about fighting than smooching

Mark

- Aromantic, asexual and ftm. Idk I feel like it fits him.

- Honestly he cares more about his friends and family than anything else. He literally sold drugs ti support his family (look where that got him)

- Has dated girls before but he hated it so much. Even tried kissing a guy at a party but decided that everyone else was crazy for enjoying this stuff

- A little bit of experience from before he decided that it all just wasn’t for him

Bryon

- Bisexual and cis

- His type is shorter than him (he likes to be tall and feel strong)

- He dated angela and Cathy, but he kissed curly at a party once (claimed it was because he was drunk and curly looks like angela but it’s not true he just thought curly was a cutie (even he’s super annoying))

- He mentioned being a ladies man so yeah he’s got experience.

Cathy

- Straight and cis, but a mega ally !!

- Her type is thoughtful and also big muscles

- She really thought bryon was perfect until he had his, err, mental breakdown and flipped out. It really hurt and she was so worried about him but he shut her out for months so she ended up moving on.

- Pretty sure bryon was her first bf? But she got with pb so she’s got a little bit of experience now

M&M

- I think gay and nb, and he doesn’t care about pronouns at all. He’s nonchalant like that

- Had a crush on mark lol. And Randy. He doesn’t date anyone because the only person he’s come out to is Cathy

- He thinks curly jumps him because he’s gay. Doesn’t realize its because he’s a hippie (curly is stupid but not homophobic)

- No experience, he’s like 13 and has never ever dated. Maybe he’s danced with someone at a school dance but he has no charm

Cherry

- Cishet ally

- Her type is canonly jerks. Very funny miss cherry.

- She dated bob, liked dally, in the series she liked Tim too. Why is she like this 💔

- A bit of experience, she dated bob after all.

Bob

- Bisexual in a homophobic way, cis

- Type is attractive rich people. He would never be attracted to a greaser, he’d rather jump off a cliff

- Dated cherry, likes Randy. He wants a very traditional future with a spouse and two children and he doesn’t think he can get that with a poor person for whatever reason. He also wants to be the “man” in the relationship.

- Lots of experience because he’s a whore I think. Flirts with most any rich person.

Marcia

- Cishet, doesn’t know that gay people are actually real. (When cherry told her she thought it was a joke)

- Type is funny lol. That’s why she likes twobit. I guess that means Randy is somewhat funny

- She actually isn’t that funny herself, she just likes to laugh.

- Very little experience. Randy was her first bf

Randy

- Gay and cis

- He likes bob. That’s it !

- He legit isn’t attracted to anyone else. After bob died he changed his entire ideology and became a hippie !! He was down bad. He doesn’t give a fuck about Marcia she’s just a girl to him

- Only has experience with Marcia and it’s not really the experience he wants because he is bobsexual

#the outsiders #darry curtis #darry curtis headcanons #sodapop headcanons #sodapop curtis headcanons #sodapop curtis #ponyboy curtis headcanons #ponyboy curtis #two bit mathews #steve randle #dallas winston #johnny cade #tim shepard #curly shepard #angela shepard #cathy carlson #m&m carlson #bryon douglas #mark jennings #bob sheldon #randy adderson #sherri valance #cherry valance #the outsiders hcs #the outsiders headcanons #that was then this is now

[biblicallyaccurateangeloncrack]

Genshin and hsr characters as pinned messages (out of context) from discord servers with my friends: a shitpost

(uhhh cw some nsfw jokes and cuss words)

wriothesley: "i do not want an alpha transformation happening rn "

march to danheng: "my coquette lungs are better than your emo lungs"

hu tao: *ghostly voice* "oooooogly boogly why'd you skadoodly me?"

xiao, learning how to spell: "i lvove elmo music"

childe: "he is in my feet"

klee: "yeah my grandma's actually kim kardashian"

bronya to cocolia when she got sick as a kid: "Mother please carry me outside before to see the sky one last time before the consumption takes hold of my body and soul"

hu tao: " "weenis", said eerily"

bennett: "THE SANDWHICH TOOK ME OUT"

blade: "that link is longer than my plans for the future"

serval: "i pledge allegiance to the american bra"

itto: "i am in heat growls the summer has come and i am in heat growls"

zhongli: "*old man voice* when i was your age i fought kids"

stelle/caelus: "when i was my age i eated drywall"

fu xuan: "JING YUAN ILL SNIPPERS YOU UP IF YOU DONT STOP WITH THIS GOOBEROUS SHIT"

diluc, about venti: "i like to prentend he was a fever dream i came with at 4am"

fréminet, trying to speak french: "they said Lyney tu dumbass"

sampo: "I think Luka would beat up Luka while Luka watches. and then Luka would join in and beat the living daylight out of Luka"

silver wolf, about blade: "ppl with lactose intolerance boutta have their 2nd period ongomg"

kayea and rosaria: "we're a match made in the deep dark depths of the abyssal caves in fuck knows where"

jingliu: "am i.........one of those queers........."

yanquing: "shout-out to my home dawg Charles aka history teacher for dropping this wisdom on me"

shinobu: "itto if you say anything penis related you are banned"

ayaka as a kid: ""please take me to the garden so that way i can see the shining sun for the last time before my frail body decomposes with the disease known as ligma""

lyney: "imagine Neuvillette seeing a bunch of orphans blow up infront of him"

yoimiya: "are you really friends if you dont have matching vagina bracelets ??"

wriothesley: "My name is actually marlinus maximilianus Merlin guys"

caelus/stelle: " *bites your toes playfully* "

Pompom: "i eat gender for dinner"

xiao: "is life without endless pain and suffering only for it all to end leaving nothing but emptiness and all your suffering being just for the entertainment of the entity that we call god. an entity who is the real reason as to why we humans end up hurting others, for pain and suffereing is nothing but an endless spiral no matter how hard you try."

kafka, messing with blade: "do you like the gay foot"

yanfei: "YOU CANT LET IT GO LET IT GO YOUR WAY OUT OF A RESTRAINING ORDER"

kokomi: "DEMENTED DOLPHIN"

Furina: "they oui oui'd me"

shenhe: "the cld never bothered me anywa......."

kiara: "agressive meow"

ganyu: "are you a tree cause i wanna eat you"

dainsleif: "while youre kissing you bf or whatever ill be watching in the walls"

venti: "I FART ON PLANES"

scaramouche: "childe I will shave you bald"

itto: "perry plaptypussy"

seele, in response to hook's drawing: "10/10 Einstein could never"

razor, to bennett: "I WILL LICK YOU TO SLEEP"

sucrose, about to collect more bones: "*deranged loud breathing*"

kequing, to half of liyue: "SHUT UP COLOR WHEEL"

cyno: "genderfluid people's favorite song is liquid smooth"

kequing: "the feminine urge to beat up your coworkers with a stick"

dehya: "i piss on biphobes" kaveh: "but what if they have a piss kink..."

albedo: "he looks like a failed science project"

baizhu: "blowjob? nah, blownose"

silver wolf: "story time, honkai star rail made me leave my brother at a gas station and i do not regret SHIT"

blade: "if i end this year without killing myself its a miracle"

columbina: "btw dead bodies take less space if you bury them like theyre standing up"

zhongli: " *cracks back and walks away leaving a trail of dust behind"

@muachiro @geetkk @veimwah @etherific @zohakutenstan

#shitpost #silly hours #genshin impact #honkai star rail #gi #hsr #hu tao #baizhu #blade hsr #columbina #danslette #zhongli #morax #silver wolf #sw #albedo #albedo kreidprinz #kequing #dehya #kaveh #cyno #sucrose #razor #bennett #benny #seele hsr #hook #hsr seele #itto #arataki itto

[zv5x]

Yandere Riddler with a Reader who has a strong moral compass just like him? They believe most of the things he does, believing in stopping corrupted people, etc while not having Ed's delusions. So, when Edward actually kidnaps them, they aren't afraid to point out how morally messed up he's being and point out flaws in his plans and how contradictory they are, further breaking Ed's image of his love and of his pre-perceived perception of himself.

Welcome back, ZV5X!

Pairing : The Riddler (The Batman 2022) • Gender Neutral reader Warnings : USE OF THE YANDERE TROPE , kidnappings, toxic mindsets and abusive situations, mentions of yelling and raising of tone, psychological intimidation

"To me, calling this love is almost an insult." You clicked your tongue, letting your morality hold power over your better judgement. With a brain as fragile as this man's, confrontation was a near death wish. However, you poked onwards, picking at his delusions as ifit was cheap, chipping paint. "I'm not going to sit here and justify this behavior-"

"Shut up." His tone was flat, almost as if he was trying his very hardest to hold himself together.

He was warning you, and he would only warn you once.

"If anything, it's a display of power you feel you don't have. Whatever it may be, don't you dare tell me this is love!" At that, the man before you picked up a glass on the table and chucked it at the wall. It shattered above you, glass shards coming down onto your head and causing small bursts of pain to run throughout your scalp. You shut your eyes tightly and looked down, hoping that would shield your sensitive eyes from what would no doubt destroy them if contact was made.

"Shut the fuck UP! You don't know the last thing about love! You're a brainwashed puppet, only existing to fill your place in a society that wouldn't even care if you were gored on the streets! Do you really think anyone cares about you as much as I do? Loves you as much as I do?" He laughed, but not a laugh of entertainment; it was a laugh of pure lunacy. "No, no baby, that's not true and you know that." He walked up to you, kneeling down to your level and letting glass crunch underneath his boot. "You don't know the last thing about love." The man was incredibly gentle now, tilting your head upwards so he could look you in the eye. His glasses were gleaming, the eyes behind them half-lidded with affection. "But that's okay, my love. I can teach you."

"W-what? What do you-?"

"You have so many flawed ideas about this world. Like how it's changeable with non-violent methods, and how people like us live in a world where we don't need to fight back." He held up air quotes to accompany his words, giggling at your perceived foolishness. "I can fix that, my dear. I can fix you. We're both gonna be okay. All it's gonna take is a little focused effort, and I'll have you right where I am right now. You'll be fine, we'll be fine; and nobody will ever be able to hurt us again."

As much as it disgusted you, he leaned inwards and kissed you on the cheek. "It's okay. I understand you're wired differently than I am; that you're less likely to see the world in the way that I do. That's why I have to help you, so you can finally love yourself as much as I love you. You can't love yourself unless you come to despise the people that hurt you, (Y/N). Did you know that? It's a hard pill to swallow, isn't it?"

You didn't respond. How could you? There wasn't anything that could be said to convince this sick man that his ideals were incorrect. If you tried, you'd get another glass thrown at your head. You'd let him speak, while also scowering this room for any kind of useful objects or information.

There was a window right in the middle of many other buildings, which was nice. Perhaps you could come loose from your restraints and scream out of it for some sort of help. You couldn't help but smile to yourself at the thought of leaving, a gesture your captor immediately took to heart.

"I know you're just as happy as I am, love." Once again, he kissed you, and you had to refrain from gagging as his lips pressed against yours. "We'll start with that scummy public defender who lives about 10 minutes away. Teaching him a lesson would be a good lesson for you too, don't you think angel?"

#the batman riddler #batman riddler #riddler fanfic #riddler #paul dano x reader #danonator #paul dano #danoverse #dano riddler #edward nashton x reader #riddler x reader #x reader #reader insert #gender neutral reader #yandere boy #yandere male #male yandere #yandere #yandere riddler #yandere riddle x reader

[multifandoms27-blog]

Hello there!

I just stumbled across your blog and I love your posts! And when I saw that you also write for Creepypasta, I just had to send in a request, especially considering that there's barely anything there!

So may I ask for some general and romantic headcanons for Toby? I really love this guy!

I hope you have a wonderful day and remember to stay hydrated!

(Also, apologies if there are any mistakes, English isn't my native language ^^)

See ya! :D

Hi! Thank you, Vero, you stay hydrated and have a wonderful day as well! I'm so glad you love my stuff <3 I was just thinking about doing something for Toby, so you're in luck hehe

(Also, your English is amazing my friend. No worries <3)

• ───────────────── •

Content: Toby general and romantic headcanons with gender neutral reader

Warnings: Mentions of trauma, implied murder, implied violent bipolar episodes, obsessive behavior, toxic jealousy, toxic relationship, and implied familial trauma.

Notes: I come from the era of creepypasta where everybody believed Toby was very obsessed with waffles, and was horribly misinterpreted in fanfiction. That was about eight years ago now though, and from what I've seen the fandom has been getting better with representation of Toby.

I've put a lot of thought into this. Might use this as inspo to revamp my Jeff headcanon list.

• ───────────────── •

(art by Lynnarty on Deviantart)

❥General

I want to start by saying: I know almost nothing about Tourette's syndrome and don't know anybody who has it. If I get anything wrong, please please please correct me. I wanna get this right for you lovelies. Thank you <3

Now, what I do know about Tourette's, is that there are two types of tics: motor and phonic. I believe Toby has more motor tics than phonic. I know he's portrayed as stuttering and twitching/moving rapidly at the same time, but I don't think he has as many phonic tics as we think

I do however, think he has a natural stutter. He was bullied in grade school, and as a fellow bullied child, I can confidently say that he developed the stutter then. I will die on this hill.

His personality is also not at all that of a child, who spends all his time screaming and laughing just for the hell of it. He's unhinged, yeah, but not in the oblivious child way. More of the sadistic way for very obvious reasons.

He's more so reserved, just kinda comes and goes. There will be points in time where he decides to be super obnoxious and fuck with other pastas in the mansion, but that's moreso purposely picking fights and intentionally being annoying than whatever the hell fanfic writers wrote in the early 2010's.

He does have bipolar disorder, so he'll lose his shit when he decides to fuck with people and they fuck with him back. It turns ugly really fast.

With his CIPA (Cognitive Insensitivity to Pain), obviously he cannot feel when he gets injured on missions, or if his motor tics cause him any pain. He won't really give a shit if he finds an injury, and won't really take any steps to go to Eyeless Jack either to get patched up. Either someone else will have to bring him, or Jack will have to hunt him down himself.

Speaking of Jack, he was able to fix up the left side of Toby's mouth when he came to the mansion. Fixing Toby's injury and Jeff's face were the first two things he did.

Toby still chews on his hands and the insides of his mouth, just out of habit or if he's stressed/upset about something.

He doesn't have a reaction to fire, really. He doesn't like dwelling on the past + he's ready to just keel over and die at any moment, so it doesn't really matter to him.

Being called "Ticci Toby" angers him to no end. You will die if you call him that, no exceptions.

• ───────────────── •

❥Romantic

Toby didn't really look for love after joining the mansion

Like I mentioned above, he's ready to die at any point, so he finds it kinda pointless to get a partner if he's just gonna die soon

He noticed when you joined the mansion, but he didn't actually say anything to you until you'd been there for some months. He doesn't particularly associate himself with people in the first place, let alone people he newly "meets."

He's not very friendly at first, but being nice to him even through his obnoxious moments and horrendous mood swings and even going so far as to try to help him (he won't let you in the moment but he'll reflect on it later), it'll get you in his good graces

Being blindingly nice won't just get you in romantic territory. If he sees you being an actual person around others while just being super nice with him, it's going to make him think you're not genuine.

Just be yourself around him. When he sees you treat him the same as the others (with genuine kindness and respect) and not like he's some freak, it'll get you brownie points.

Toby doesn't realize he's insecure and thinks it's normal to get super jealous super easily. His parents didn't have the best relationship and most internet media of relationships is toxic in itself, so you'll have to be the one to sit down with him and lay out your boundaries. Even then, he'll frequently cross them.

It's not because he doesn't respect you or love you. He does. Just sometimes he wants to move the relationship a little faster, or he's impatient and wants kisses when you're with the others, or he's just plain forgetful.

Again on the jealous point though, he's going to get very upset if you don't notice he's jealous. In his mind, it's very obvious. Eventually he'll get so upset that he yanks you away from the people, cusses them out, then storms off with you and slams every door he goes through for extra measure. He's then going to cry as he holds you, apologizing and saying he didn't mean it and he was just scared you were going to leave him.

He doesn't let you be with your other pasta friends without lurking in the background, watching yours and their every move. He loves you and just wants to make sure you're okay. Happily accepts you back into his arms when you're done.

The only time you'll be able to hang out with friends outside the mansion (without him watching you) is when Toby is away on missions. If you befriend the right pastas, they'll cover for you. If he's not away though, he's very likely going to be stalking you and your friends in the background.

Toby doesn't care if you give him PDA or not, he just wants to be near you and do what he wants in the moment. Once he realizes he has feelings for you, he's going to be clinging to your side.

Loves when you show him physical affection and attention without him asking.

He also loves when you involve him in things you like. He might not participate in it, but the fact that you thought of him makes him happy. His favorite thing is eating some snacks while cuddling on his bed and watching some show you love.

Toby by himself just kinda exists. Toby in a relationship with you just kinda exists, but he wants people to know that you only exist with him.

For obvious reasons, Toby is a fucked up individual, and a relationship with him will always be toxic in some aspect. Everyone in the pasta mansion is fucked up, and very few will have healthy relationships. Yes, we love the pastas anyway, but we cannot fix them, so just keep that in mind lovelies <3

• ───────────────── •

Here is my Masterlist in case you want to request, or look for more of your favorite character!

#creepypasta #creepypasta mansion #ticci toby #ticci toby x reader #ticci toby x you #ticci toby x y/n #toby rogers x reader #toby rogers x you #toby rogers x y/n #god i love toby #ticci toby headcanons #toby rogers #ticci toby hc #creepypasta headcanons

[hellishunicorn]

Izzy is abusive towards Ed

Or there are at the very least some signs of abuse in their dynamic, Izzy being the perpetrator.

So I had to read a text about domestic violence and abusive relationships for a course I'm taking in university about queer life and struggle, and some examples were brought up: like, 'the perpetrator is likely to do' and then there is like a list of things depending on the situation. This is specifically in relation to queer people and I started to connect some of the things that got brought up to things Izzy has done to Ed.

So without further ado, here are some examples that got brought up about how abuse can unfold that reminded me of Izzy:

First the text mentions different forms of abuse including emotional, such as threaten and control ("Edward better watch his fucking step"), and shame ("insane, unpleasant shell of a man" "namby-pamby in a silk gown"). Then abuse related to a person's sex, gender, gender expression, race, ethnicity, sex characteristics and so forth ("whatever it is that you have become is a fate worse than death").

Then come other more generic examples of abuse such as: Shows much jealousy and ownership over the victim (that is literally Izzy's entire deal with Ed)

Threatens physical violence (I don't remember if he ever does that specifically, but the Edward better watch his fucking step line sure could include it)

Blames the victim for all fights, arguments and problems in the relationship (again, calling Ed insane, erratic and so forth) The perpetrator tries to control the behaviour of the victim (again, Edward better watch his fucking step) and tries to come between the victim and their current partner (Izzy has been doing that since before Ed and Stede even met, which ties into the whole tries to control the behaviour of their victim, as in Izzy trying to steer Ed into killing Stede, which he does again in episode 6 when he compares Stede to a pet and tells Ed he should end his life. Talking about Stede making Ed weak and such, which also ties into belittling him.)

The perpetrator keeps saying things that are not in line with what they do. (Izzy keeps saying he is just being loyal to Blackbeard and whatever, but his actions point towards him wanting to control him) and the text mentions that it's the actions that speak louder than words when it comes to domestic violence/abuse of some kind and the perpetrator might say all these things about how they are just doing this for the victim and that it is the right thing to do ("Edward, I know you're upset but, it was the only (Ed punches him)- remember though, you said when you made me first mate that above all is loyalty to your captain. You're my captain and I was never going to stand by and let you destroy yourself for that twat. And this is a humane way of ending this, it's quick, it's clean. Edward you know that.") Here Izzy is blaming Ed for the execution of Stede, by pointing out that 'Ed' was the one who said that loyalty to your captain is what's most important, and Izzy is simply doing this out of the goodness of his heart, because Stede is nothing but a twat, and Izzy knows what's best for Ed (note my sarcasm here).

And one final thing that got brought up is that when the victim strikes back against their abuser, the actual perpetrator might use that against their victim as an example of how the victim is the "real" abuser in this situation. So, if Izzy ever uses the toe thing against Ed in season two, I am jumping through the screen to choke that man to death and not in a fun way.

I am by no means an expert on abuse or domestic violence, but I am getting quite annoyed at the fact that it's been a year, and I'm still seeing people believing Izzy is in the right in season 1, just because he says he is, despite the narrative itself suggesting otherwise, and I'd like to provide some examples as to how his dynamic with Ed, specifically, is quite the opposite of what some fans seem to think it is.

the text that I read is in icelandic, so I doubt it would help much to link it here, but it is however translated (with permission and some alterations to fit icelandic society, I think mainly in terms of where people can look to if they are in an abusive relationship) from a brochure/booklet/pamphlet from this organization

Freedom from domestic abuse | RISE (riseuk.org.uk)

#Izzy critical #Izzy hands #Edward Teach #Blackbeard #Ed Teach #Stede Bonnet #ofmd #our flag means death #abuse #domestic violence #tw: abuse #tw: domestic violence

[spaceyflowerswriting]

pt 4/4: little changes (gun park x reader)

...except the main character is goo and reader only plays a role in little dialogue. hear me out.

( pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3 )

details: fluffy oneshot, gender neutral reader written in 2nd pov, general canon au, you and gun have been dating for a while in secret

summary: goo starts to notice little changes in gun, influenced by you. the thing is, gun is keeping his relationship on the low, so here are goo's antics of being annoying and trying to find out who you are.

a/n: we're at the finale! thanks for reading <3

×

What better way to get information about Gun than from the people around him? That tight-lipped man wouldn't ever say anything to Goo anyways.

Their boss was his first choice.

"Why do you care?"

"Good question." Goo gestured animatedly as he spoke. "It's... simple curiosity. I just want to know what he's up to. So, has there been anyone he's been getting close to lately?"

"I do not know and I do not care because it has not affected his work life. He's as diligent as always--aside from being late sometimes to night meetings, but that has yet to cause trouble for me." Mr. Choi spun around in his chair to face the window behind him. "Find out yourself if you're that desperate."

"But siiir!" complained Goo in a singsong voice. "Has there really been no one around him that you've see be close to him? A friend or anything?"

"No. He just does his job."

"Does his job involve--"

"Do you want your paycheck to be lowered this month?"

"No, sir," Goo said stiffly, already turning around and placing his hand the doorknob to leave Mr. Choi's office. "Sorry for bothering you! Goodbye!"

He sighed as soon as he shut the door behind him and looked up. "I'm not sure what I expected, but it was something more than just, 'I don't care.' Stupid old man..." Goo grumbled, walking down the hallway and entering the elevator to head down. "Whatever, he's our boss who's mainly neutral. Fortunately I know someone else who knows Gun personally."

Goo pulled out his phone to call Crystal, someone's he's only contacted whenever Gun wouldn't pick up the phone (which was often, because Gun liked to ignore him).

"What do you want, Goo?"

Goo grinned. "Hey, girl, I'm bothering to ask you about Gun. Not because he's not picking up the phone but because I've got a question for you about him. At least, I'm hoping you can answer it."

"Make it quick."

"You in a rush?"

"No, I just don't want to talk to you."

Goo laughed as he exited the elevator, leaving the office building while continuing to talk loudly on the phone. "I know, I know, I'm a very pleasant person." He hummed. "Anyways, I wanted to know if you know any people who have gotten close to Gun recently, or in the past few months."

"Why...?"

"Well, do you?"

There was a pause for a bit, but Goo was willing to wait. He walked out through the streets, listening closely. Eventually, she responded very hesitatingly, "This sounds like a set up for blackmail material. You're not planning to kidnap someone he cares about to torture them to get him to do something you want, right?"

Huh, somehow Goo didn't think about that. Good idea, Crystal, Goo'll store that in the back of his head. Although he's known Gun for years--if Gun really was serious about this "someone special," Goo wasn't sure he could even touch this person before Gun killed him. Or at least, that's what he'd assume, considering he's never seen Gun view someone as special to him but knew the man was dead set on things when he was serious about it.

Either way, Goo laughed and said back, "I'm not that cruel! I just noticed that he's been talking about someone special and got curious about who it could be~"

"Yeahhh, okay. If he didn't tell you, I'd be willing to bet he wouldn't want me to tell you."

"Aw, c'mon! For a bestie! I'll give you something good in return!" pleaded Goo.

"Nope, goodbye, Goo. I value my life." Crystal hung up and Goo froze in place, even though he had just started crossing the crosswalk.

"Fucking hell... well, at least Crystal confirmed this person exists." Goo sighed, not quite ready to give up but feeling at a loss. He pocketed his phone and continued to stay still, holding his chin while humming in thought. He ignored the cars honking at him while he tried to come up with an idea of what to do next.

"Stalk Gun, I guess?"

But how...? He'd figure it out later. Still, he pondered about it some more as he whistled and began to walk, once again ignoring the yelling and honking people were sending his way.

~

Goo figured it out. He'd just hire a black market professional to tail Gun and see if he's with anyone that isn't affiliated with him in a professional way. Why do the work himself, right?

For poor Goo, that idea was short-lived because two days later the man he employed came back looking like he had his tail between his legs.

"He caught me."

The emotion of disappointment but not really surprise filled up Goo. What could he expect, even he himself didn't want to follow Gun in secret because he knew he would fail, so how could he expect some other guy to do it? He sighed anyway and said, "I thought you were a professional."

The man tilted his hat, hiding his eyes a bit. "Apologies. He threatened to kill my wife and children if I didn't return to you, Mr. Goo."

Goo snickered. "Classic Gun. Well, now he knows I attempted to stalk him so there goes my plan..."

"Why am I even bothering to do this? Gun certainly seems to mean it when he says he doesn't want me to find his special someone, so maybe I'll never find out no matter how hard I try."

Fuck it. Goo wasn't going to waste his time. He attempted once and didn't get his answer, so he might as well just end there. As curious as he was to find out who could've possibly stolen a freak like Gun's heart, it wasn't something he needed to know. And Mr. Choi was right. Gun was the same as always, he just now had a secret lover or something.

Goo tossed a much too small envelope of money at the man who caught it with surprise. "There you go, money for attempting anyways."

"T... thank you..." Goo waved him off and the man shuffled out of his office.

"Here's to hoping Gun just slips up one day!" The blonde wasn't religious, but he clapped his hands together anyway and made a half hearted prayer.

~

"I fucked up."

Goo had not heard a single thing from Gun about his special someone ever since the failed stalking. Not that he minded particularly, but it was always interesting to hear Gun make small vague comments about this special someone, but now he was just back to his boring ass, stoic self.

Currently they were sitting quietly in the back of a car, driven by someone Mr. Choi sent to pick them up.

Goo got bored of Candy Crush already. Maybe Gun was right, he should just keep driving. He didn't know what to do with himself for twenty minutes. Social media was only fun for so long, and there was only so much to do by staring out the window.

He couldn't talk to Gun either, who, first off, sucked at casual conversations, and secondly, was busy texting. Maybe he could talk to the driver but also no because the car was specially built so that they were in a soundproof room to ensure the driver would not hear any confidential information Gun and Goo might talk about.

But they weren't even talking about things like that or at all, and Goo was bored out of his mind. Nap, maybe...? Nah, that wasn't his style. He just looked around before his eyes landed on Gun's phone screen. It was barely visible from his point of view so he leaned in slightly, but just as he did that, Gun turned so his screen couldn't be seen.

Goo crossed his arms. "Hmph. Texting your 'special someone?'"

"Yeah."

Once again Gun was being surprisingly honest, but then again he was never the type to outright lie... which was why he was often vague and never denied or confirmed anything. Damn him.

Goo leaned in some more, and Gun turned away even more. Then Goo just stared at the reflection of his sunglasses, managing to catch a glimpse of Gun receiving a text that said, "Be safe, okay?" before Gun pulled off his sunglasses.

He glared at Goo silently, and it was like a puff of angry black smoke was coming off of him. Goo just smiled mischievously and finally backed off, going back to staring out the window.

If he could tell anything from that text, it certainly seemed like Gun indeed had a lover. A romantic partner, huh... just who would fall for Gun, and who could possibly grab the attention of a man obsessed with nothing but fighting?

More curiosity grew in Goo, but he tried to ignore it. Again, he was curious, but he didn't really care. And he knew he would probably never find out anyways unless Gun fucked up since he seemed to be actively making sure Goo would never meet this person.

Goo ended up praying again.

~

Three months passed.

And suddenly, Goo's prayers came true.

He was at Gun's place to drop something off, but without warning because that was just what he always did. He knocked twice and heard the knob turning. A smile naturally plastered itself on his face as he prepared to say something snarky to his coworker but when the door opened, his eyes widened at the unknown person standing before him.

"Hello?"

An unfamiliar voice entered Goo's ears as his eyes scanned this person wearing a shirt he recognized to be Gun's--it was a little oversized on them. His mind was slowly processing what was going on and if he interrupted one of Gun's one night stands or if--

"IS THIS HIS SPECIAL SOMEONE?!" The smile on Goo's face turned into a grin. "It has to be! Gun never sleeps with anyone at his place; always at a hotel!"

He ignored the look of nervousness growing on the person's face as he leaned down a bit to be on their eye level and said in an overly gleeful tone, "Hi! I'm Gun's friend."

"Um..." The person trailed off, before glancing behind them. "Sorry, I thought you were the guy here to deliver food. Do you want me to get Gun for you or something...?"

"Oh, he's home? Yes, please! I'm here to drop this off for him." He added with a closed eye smile, "And to talk to him about something."

"Sure, wait here." The person awkwardly shut the door before walking away.

Goo could barely contain himself. He bounced on his heels, holding the box of what he planned to drop off, but internally he was evilly rubbing his hands together. There was no way Gun could get himself out of this one--Goo was going to hear for himself about this special someone of his!!

This... this special someone who looked surprisingly... boring? Plain? And very weak and average? Was that... Gun's type...?

"What the fuck." Goo immediately stopped bouncing on his heels. He had only seen this person for less than a minute, but they looked far from what Goo imagined Gun would be into. Yeah, again, he didn't really know what Gun's type would be, but his one night stands were usually very charming and attractive people.

On second thought: of course sex workers were charming and attractive, that was their whole job.

So... romantically... Gun liked normal people? The guy who liked fighting?? Or maybe this person was stronger than they looked, but Goo doubted it just based off his quick interaction with them.

Before he could think more about it, Gun opened the door, looking pissed off. It pleased Goo to no end.

"Sooo--"

"Give me the box." Gun didn't hesitate to cut him off.

"Ah, ah, ah!" Goo held back the box, practically daring Gun to jump him with the shit eating grin he had on. "Who's the person that opened the door for me, huh?"

"Give. Me. The. Box."

"Just answer the question, man!" Gun lunged forward, attempting to grab the box but Goo was quick to react. "Just tell me if that person was your 'special someone' and I'll give you the box!" Gun practically growled at him. Goo continued to grin. "Promise!" he chimed.

A tense silence fell over them as they stared (well, Gun was glaring) at each other. Million of emotions flew through Gun's eyes and knitted brows, but the easiest to pick out was, "I'm going to kill you." No effect on Goo, of course, but still fun for him to point out.

"...Yes," Gun finally admitted through gritted teeth.

Goo immediately started whooping and cheering. "I fucking knew it!" He laughed in between his words. He handed the box over like promised and nearly fell over with the force Gun used to snatch it out of his hands. "Hey!" Next thing he knew, the door was being slammed into his face.

He frowned but shrugged it off. Tonight's victory belonged to him anyways. He whistled a tune he made up as he walked off, unable to keep a grin off his face.

Maybe there was hope, after all. Next plan: find out what exactly this special someone to Gun was like!

#lookism x reader #gun park x reader #help. im sorry if it sounds like i was insulting u thru goo's thoughts im sure ur wonderful and amazing but goo's just a bitch so.. 😭😭😭

[liesmyth]

What is wheel of time and should I start it tomorrow?

you SHOULD.

Wheel of Time is an epic fantasy series by the late Robert Jordan. It's epic in scope, in length, and in its insanely large cast of characters. It's fascinating. The worldbuilding is insane, but also familiar (partly because it relies on widespread fantasy tropes, partly because it made many of those tropes popular for many books published later). The characters are exasperating but deeply human; I love SO many of them and appreciate so many others. It's very Of Its Time in some regards, especially re: its handling of gender roles and sexuality, but it's also surprisingly progressive and queer in intent even when the execution falters, and I really appreciate a lot that it even tried to Go There, because it was Very formative for me as a young teen. It's also one of those books where you can see the author's kinks all over the place (both narrative and otherwise) and tbh? it's a bit cringe but lots of fun. Also it’s very well written; the plot is as Epic as epic fantasy gets but it’s really the character moments that make the reader invested in the story. I just love it a lot, ngl.

Fun fact: I am now today on tumblr dot com, blogging in english, because sometimes around age 15 even though I fucking hated english class in school I just couldn’t wait for the latest books to come out in my country so I had to become fluent enough to read a 700-pages novel by myself. THAT is the grip this series had on me.

Some things I am now into because of reading WoT starting at age eleven.

codependent magical bonds with loyalty kink thrown in (if you’re familiar with TLT, think necro/cav but usually f/m. Not always though :) )

femdom. both F/f and F/m varieties

Propesized Savior trying to kill their humanity to become a figure larger than history (before realizing that's bullshit)

what if monastic(ish) order of sole women but also we had sex about it

unfortunately. a lot of weird kinks. I will elaborate on request but it’s better if I don’t right off the bat.

no, I lied. It wasn’t unfortunate. I appreciate it when authors are brave enough to let the banner of their id fly high

ruined civilizations and newer, less advanced civilizations rising from the wreckage. the collective understanding that you live in a post-apocalypse world. old scientific principles becoming magic

confronting your alternate dimension self, as a treat

dream sex

devil-may-care rogues who actually care a lot

alien morality, or cultural differences so big that they fundamentally are the same thing

people who are SO Wrong about everything but are 100% committed to their own personal moral code

whatever the fuck Mat’s luck had going on

“I know what my destiny is but I say: fuck you”

I can’t stress enough how many of my kinks (narrative; sexy in fiction only; sexy in RL) came directly from this series. Like, I know I’ve already said that but putting together this list made me think and. Oh my god.

SWORD MAIDENS

More practical information: there are 14 books. Yes, I know. The first book is The Eye of the World - it's fun and probably not exceptional even though you can feel the hints of how grand and insane the greater worldbuilding will be, and some characters really shine (Nynaeve!). The second book is where it really gets original, the third book is where I went from "books I like" to "series OF ALL TIME". If you don’t like it by book 4 then give up. If you like book 4 as much as I did you will never ever want to give up.

There's also an Amazon Prime show, currently S1 has been released! I haven't watched it beyond the first ep, but plan to do it soon; it's a lot more f/f than the books and the back half had some pacing issues (partly due to COVID fucking with the production) but definitely very iddy from what I've heard, and I’m very excited to check it out in time for S2.

tldr PLEASE read wheel of time!

#ask #Anonymous #wheel of time #wot #FORMATIVE SERIES OF ALL TIME #btw not worth going into it in the actual post but. when i say 'of its time' i mean 'conceived in the late 80s & plotted in the early 90s' #the author was a vietnam vet from the american south who identified as het & went to a military college #and they are SURPRISINGLY queer even with that #it's one of those cases where i'm like. yeah the execution was clumsy but. the fact that he tried gave Interesting results

[thepowerisyouth]

MONEY / FINANCE STRESS CONTENT WARNING, this next line is unfortunately quite stressful about money so this was an important warning for me to add:

This is also less for the random strangers on the internet who have no reason to trust my advice but more for the 10-15 people I know personally who trust my money advice based on prior experience and Ive sent them my blog link in the last month or two

US stock market is about to tank. On a global perspective its stupidly overpriced because markets like China are hitting 5 year lows (as in we've increased our stock market over 2x since "COVID lows", but their market is even lower than it was then.

Timing is hard but it is entirely possible yesterday was the peak of the market. Might also not tank for 6 months.

Market psychology is fucking weird tho so please absolutely dont 'short' anything, which is basically the same as 'buying puts'. Michael Burry nearly bankrupted all his friends, family, and random investors by insisting on 'shorting' things based on knowledge of impending crisis.

Just sell everything. I mean literally everything. Bond etfs might go up but youd have to have eyes glued to the charts to sell in time. Gold wont do, neither will bitcoin. Their negative correlation to stocks isnt really a thing anymore.

Get every etf, stock, whatever into cash in the brokerage account, then move it out of the banks/brokerage firms and into something physically in front of you because we are, in fact, in another 'historical period of bank runs' its just not quite at the peak yet.

Not trying to increase anxiety beyond nessecary-- its just that any, single bank can immediately freeze your money-- leaving it up to the Federal Government to pay you back-- and it might possibly be the case that youd have to rely on whats called a "bank bail in" to see your savings again.

Not a fun situation to be in, even if it wont happen to most people its just safe practice to do this during a "historical period of bank runs"

----------------

This blog is basically my diary of my thoughts (suprise suprise). But Im an open book, privileged (but poor) little white boy with complex societal/generational abuse and very little home problems so lets fucking go theres a whole mormon cargo van to unpack

Definitely recommend tags Im terrible at them.

---

To those reading this, if you have ever met me in real-life or on the internet than you have taught me varying degrees of information which can be randomly retrieved by my brain at any time depending on current CPU performance. Thoughts of my loving husband have occupied my headspace probably 95% of my time since 14 so he has absolutely taught me at least 100x more than anyone else in the world.

When I say "I", oftentimes Im thinking about "me and my husband", or even sometimes "me and my friends/family", or even sometimes "me and society"--- but I am not always 100% aware of the current headspace environment and/or beliefs of the minds of those around me without feedback

---

There are currently over 8 billion individual varieties of the global human language spoken within the mind. Lets start translating them all. Misunderstood words become mean labels.

I fucking hate mean labels

"Math wiz" = racism and/or classism and/or gender shit. Fuck that shit

When a person is niched off into one part of an 8 billion population human society, it becomes impossible to not "live in a bubble". Bubbles change in size constantly even if not visibly observed. Bubbles can be different sizes depending on your current day-to-day thoughts of your own society. Bubbles must pop. Enlightenment implies life only gets better the more times ya pop and lock it

My path away from purely mathematics, logic, and scientific theory began when I met my husband, and for the first time in my life it became important to me not to be an asshole to everyone around me

Ive been told (only after I started dating my traumatized husband tho and helped him heal a lot) that I'm a natural communicator-- and all my life I found myself listening and learning to everything and everyone around me trying to understand both their and my own motivations-- then I like to garble them up and spit 'em out. My memory recall ability is wonky tho and fluctuates highly with nutrient intake-- I'll get into that later

I wish I could have a million years to read every blog on tumblr. I really do. Connecting & communating is extremely important for understanding one another but it takes time

I had an extremely unique childhood (who hasnt lol), enough so to isolate myself quite a lot through sheer dumb luck. My mom is also everyone's favorite school teacher so of course I was learning a lot from a young age. Luckily I glued myself to the first person who wanted to glue themselves to me equally & we grew exponentially closer to eternity

If its still not clear: my husband and I are bored and love chatting with people, but like most internet loving freaks my mouth don't work sometimes well but my fingies do. My ears got fluff a lot but I got eyes for LEDs like a hawk. Wish they werent LED tho

I also have a naturally short sleep cycle (i.e. extra time for this), and I really wont be offended or weirded out by someone reading through and liking 20+ or whatever of my posts at once randomly. Stories are supposed to be read in chunks, and I think of this blog as a story & also workspace for my thoughts that Id love to see which chapters everyone has read through. Also I love (and only respond positively to) positive feedback, yet also suggestions for ways to improve my "theorums". As in, good faith discussions are totally welcome on any post.

For my 50 year old parents reading my blog so lovingly in their limited evening time-- you can sort by tags to see what topics your familiar with, if you play around with the search function while on my page. Mom. Show dad how to do it

In the very, very bottom of my blog I dont even think I managed to tag shit properly-- but its the roughdraft workings of the philosophy, as well as my own logical framework for answering lifes questions. Its 2 months ago so I might not even be writing according to my own works down there anymore idk I change fast sometimes

Last thing for now here is that I was always criticized by teachers for not showing my work, and for not reviewing my tests before turning in, and I pushed back hard because nearly every time I went over and corrected a mistake-- I saw I most often got it right the first fucking time on a pure hunch. I act on impulse when I'm not meditating mostly for efficiency purposes because I believe I'm correct, but remain open to emotionally positive feedback so I can help remove all doubt.

-------

This might turn into my 'life story' post, as its already going there. Heres what I have so far in the way of my knowledge of my family before I was brought into existence, and my "earliest memories":

Family context:

I dont know jack shit. Nobody talks about it at all.

Here's my own observations Ive made using the framework and perceptive filters I was given--

My whole family is white Texans.

Ancestory is slaveowners of course, further back is a very likely direct parent-child descendent line from the most famous inbred british royalty of the 13th century i.e. King John, whose brother was the arab genociding Richard.

I would call my immediate family as upper poverty class. Its more like poverty with extra privileges cause mental health stigma was the only thing holding them back not other shit too.

As children we had a lot of very privileged opportunities because my parents made a lot of sacrifices to try and bring us back up the class ladder. Lets look into that generational trauma issue

My dads parents (born in the early 40s, dont know the year exactly. I think '43 or '44) were more upper middle class, pretty high income. Owned an insurance business that was very successful by the early 2000s at least. My grandpa is described to me as a "monster" and "violently abusive". I have a single memory of him screaming at me as a young child and I was cowering under a desk, so I really believe it. No other stories at all to provide context.

-- I gotta split this section off I realized I wrote the next thing about post-me context Ill need to move this part lower down later--

My grandpa got early onset dementia, my dad didnt notice in time, and my grandpa bankrupted his successful company and lost several million of dollars to "scammers and sexy ladies."

My dad found out around 2015-16 or so. He told me a little bit after telling me my grandparents were getting divorced. My dad managed to scrape together about $200,000 which is being sued for by the IRS actively.

(He split that money in two, and entrusted me tell him how to invest half in safe value stocks that I handpicked as well as a calculated risk allocation to bonds which we sold for 30% profit the second the market crashed. He gave the other half to a brokerage advisor. I never met the advisor but saw the results. Dont get me started on how the other dude did with that money-- we started this endeavor in January 2020.)

Personally I also dont believe that its possible to spend an entire fortune on scammers and strippers, so Id love to see his books and figure out what the hell went wrong with that asshole. I have a hunch I know something more than anyone else ("Enron", guys, we're talking about an insurance company in HOUSTON, in the 2000s) but I will never be sure without the books.

----

Back to other family--

I do not know a single thing about my grandma on my dads side. She raised me quite a lot, but yeah I literally have only heard her life described to me as "she was a housewife"

On my moms side, my Mimi (also born 1940s but slightly younger so I think 1946 or 1947) came from a divorced, upper middle class family. In 1964-65, She and her step mom both got knocked up the same year so she watched her divorced dad remarry to said step mom when she was 18-19 and getting a shotgun marriage herself, so you can imagine what that was like. The "biological" of the two moms was a very good mom and very queer from what I hear. She died when I was a baby, from lung cancer. Thats all I know. My mimi raised me quite a lot, nearly equally as much as my mom did

My mom's dad, my Papa, came from a rural farming family in East Texas. Dont know much else of anything, but he and his siblings were named "Billy, Bobby, and Betty". As in, they are what everyone likes to call "hicks"

--

Moving onto my direct parents now. I know a little more about them of course, but since we're getting closer in age to the present-- I think itll be easier to describe my understanding as common stereotypes. If its unclear what I mean definitely feel free to ask, but I'll probably say "I dont really know"

Not much else is relevant other than knowing that my moms family was the mormon one, but that as soon as my dad was love-bombed by the church he joined to. Mormons were also different in the 90s I'm told.

My dad struggled with being one of the "crazy schizos" of the 90s. As in, very traumatized, upset, and gaslit by the government and his parents. Must have done a damn good job dealing with it by the time he was in his late 20s and I popped out cause he was never a "bad dad" to me at all. Definitely yelled and was more angry at times, but less than any other friends parents Ive ever met, and from what I remember he came into my room at night and apologized to me literally every single time within like 5-10 minutes. I know pretty much nothing about him pre-me. He was a tradesman my whole life and specialized in remodeling kitchens & bathrooms (the 'dirty work of construction'). All his initial clientele were the rich people my grandma lived near and was friends with.

My mom would have been extremely queer-presenting and posting on tumblr if born in the year 2000, but was born in early 70s, and was a raegan teen in high-school in Texas during the satanic panic-- she presents completely cis, straight, but has body dysmorphia issues. Thats about you need to know about those issues I'm sure my tumblr folks can assume the rest and be perfectly correct. Cause thats about all I know too and I'm assuming the rest about my own mother

--- Earliest memories

I think a lot of people face doubt about their own earliest memories, maybe hearing the way I connect the images of these events in my head to my emotions I felt will help others do the same.

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Two disclosers about me & my current healthcare discoveries before moving on

1) My only "major" childhood trauma is loneliness. I have a partner now (started dating early high school, nearing 10 years together now) who was just as lonely and we are glued to each others side constantly, and have made our life work great that way. So don't feel too bad reading this, I'm only able to write it down because Ive healed that trauma and can dig this stuff up with no issues to validate the emotions I felt even as a child

1) I believe I have a genetic trait that is only just getting discovered. There are something like 6 discovered mutations that hold this similar trait so far, and its just basically chronic insomia.

It being a genetic trait tracks with how my mom describes me as never settling into a normal sleep pattern at 6 months old, having absurd amounts of nightmares and death anxiety keeping me up at night as a child, and I still dont sleep at any given time. I average 2 hours less sleep than my husband, who averages 7-8 now that he isnt actively being abused at home.

Going to get sequenced but even if negative I'd probably just be a 7th mutation, as they only found the other 6 genes via case study.

The scientists whove discovered it call it "Familial Natural Short Sleeper", if you desire to look it up. They describe the trait like its the best possible thing in the world. Well... terminally chronic insomia is not the best thing in THIS world thats for sure.

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My "earliest memories"

These arent ranked by time accurately of course. Took enough effort digging through my brain to turn them up, not like Ive got a 2003 calendar stuffed in here as well.

I did do my best to sort by first memory but it also might be sorted by the order at which I recovered the memories as being one of my "earliest" when I was a child and asked such things

1. Pure emptiness. I can only describe it as dissociation. I can remember nothing about the environment around me, except feeling suddenly sucked out of it, seeing only darkness, feeling almost a ringing in my ears and the deepest dread possible. This same feeling followed me in life for a little while, but started to take more visual shape when I was an adolescent, until at some point I would see myself sitting in a chair alone in a room that is infinitely sized but that slowly gets darker the further out you go. I cant remember what exact "real-world" event caused this feeling to ever happen each time it did. I just can remember having it happen occasionally when I was awake and doing things. Definitely dissociation. (If you are willing to believe me further I think its just probably "lights out" and being scared of that)

1. Riding a mattress down the stairs. I kind of remember two images, one is the tunnel vision of going high speed down the stairs and the other would be from looking back up at the stairs when I was done going down. Totally fun, probably my first rollar coaster ride. I might remember my siblings laughing too but it wouldnt be because I can remember the actual laughing-- but I can remember feeling the joy of being in a group of people laughing. At the time, my parents were selling the house so thats why I also remember it being a completely empty carpeted room that we were riding down into

2. My brother smashing his head repeatedly into the refrigerator for 'fun' and someone saying "wow he has a hard head" or something along those lines. I was learning english I cant remember exactly what they said but that was definitely the meaning I took from their words. I think this memory is strong, because I was truly very curious as to why my brother was just running at full speed, head down, and headbutting a hard surface. The words someone said after that must have been one of my first 'answers'

3. Watching my siblings play in rare Houston snow. Not much remembering there actually. Probably just thought it was mezmorizing to watch as I just really remember a picture and feeling peace

4. Will add more later.

#mental health #trauma #early memories #life story #family #generational trauma #wealth disparity #memory #self healing #child psychology #diary #math #classism #privilege #cycle of abuse #behavioral economics #psychology #philosophy