#please their food diet depends on it

[savageboar]

my fishkeeping isn't perfect, sometimes i forget to clean the filter media when i do a water change. but you know at least i have a big enough tank with lots of hiding spots...and i don't feed my fish vienna sausages.

#if you want to give your fish a good healthy snack you could give them literally anything else #there's lists of foods fish can eat depending on their natural diet #shrimp! feed them shrimp! #fishes love shrimp #I can't put any brightly colored shrimp or small shrimp in my tank bc the platies will eat it #even if the like. fancy shrimp is the same size as them they'll tear it apart. #peas are a good snack too that help with digestion and BLOAT #anything but fucking meats that people eat #please..... #hades.txt

[virgobingo]

more insight on miles’ puerto rican heritage for your fics or fanart

- traditional quinceañeras (or as they are often called by puerto ricans quinceañeros) are really not that common anymore, most girls nowadays have pool parties or go on a cruise. if miles were to go to one of his cousins’ 15 birthday party, chances are it would be casual— no big poofy dress (his mom probably had one like that though)

edit: some people disagree on this. depends on how traditional your family and friend group is I guess, as well as which part of the island you’re from. on average, it seems to be a far bigger deal amongst some other latines. in my class in pr only 3 out of approx 30 girls had a big event like that. not a single one of my cousins had a traditional quince either so you could say I’m partly biased bc of my own experiences. i personally just had a big pool party

- plantains are a big part of our diet. also, pr being an island in the caribbean, coconut is in a lot of our desserts. if miles had to pick a favorite fruit I hc he’d pick either one of the two lol also please google our food, our food isn’t actually spicy so much as savory

- we “celebrate” thanksgiving like other americans. it’s about the only time we eat oven roasted turkey. for winter holidays (christmas eve/day, new years eve/day, three kings day/eve) oven roasted pork. chicken might be offered as a second option for people who don’t consume pork for whatever reason

- you’re pretty much taught how to dance as soon as you can walk. most of us have basic rhythms down. chances of miles dancing with his mom or friends at parties? astronomically high.

- the reason why our flag is everywhere, besides pride, is ‘cause it was illegal to own it. look up the gag law that prohibited us from even displaying it at our homes. so it’s actually an awesome detail in these movies

- this is my opinion/a fun fact but I feel like miles is basically an homage to black and puerto rican (specifically nuyorican) solidarity around the 70s-80s during the creation of hip-hop and rise of graffiti as a form of expression (you can easily read up on this or watch shows like the get down to learn more about this if you’re curious)

- whether you’re “nuyorican” or “from the island” spanglish is common so miles’ mixing english and spanish isn’t odd bc even rio does this as miles points out in the party scene. he isn’t a “no sabo” kid so much as someone with a strong accent. he understands his mom perfectly

- race ≠ ethnicity. there are plenty of black people in and from Puerto Rico, and miles’ pr family in the spiderverse films are designed to be for the most part afro-latine. so I wouldn’t really call him biracial

- the puerto rican day parade wouldn’t be a thing he skips, he’s gifted a special suit for it in a comic run. his puerto rican heritage is important to him!

#if you’re writing and need cultural insight i don’t mind messages hhhhh #what he represents matters a lot to me #spiderverse #miles molares #spiderman #punkflower #gwiles #flowerbyte

[cultpastorkevin]

Cult Tips for AFTG writers

notes from the resident ex-cult pastor

If you’re in the cult, there is nothing bizarre abt what’s happening and in fact the normal stuff that happens outside of it is what’s bizarre to you. Target? Weird. McDonald’s? Even weirder. I can like guarantee Jean and Kevin never had McDonald’s until they left the Nest.

When you leave, you’re gonna be paranoid as fuck. All the time. Ngl at least for weeks but sometimes for years. Nightmares and insomnia 24/7. Hallucinations too lmao Riko is in every corner of empty rooms and you can hear his voice echo in the confines of the lockers.

I see a lot of Jean wanting to go back to the Nest, but not a lot of Kevin wanting to go back. He definitely struggled, 100%. In fact when he was in the pits of agony from his broken hand, was when he probably wanted to go back the most. Cult is home, cult is safe. Four walls you’ve always known and while it’s a cage at least it’s dependable. They hurt you but by god it always works out and the reward of pushing through this tragic incident is greater than the terror it caused in the first place. It’s a gift, actually. A gift from Riko. He saved Kevin. Cults save you. Cults make you wanna return to them like damn homing pigeons bruh. Give me more shattered hand Kevin screaming at Wymack to let him go back home and having a breakdown when he’s denied fics thanks

Piggybacking off the last one: cults are saviors; you’re nothing without them and they make sure you truly believe that; that everything that is done to you is for you and you’re blessed for it to be happening. You’re lucky even, to be allowed in it. Everything is as it’s supposed to be and order must never be challenged, because it works, and you’re the Edgar Allan Ravens, and this is the most honorable place you could be. All the pain you go through is you earning the right to be saved and to prove your worth every day on court. Only the worthy are honored.

You justify everything that happened and you will start fights and get angry with people who try to correct you and tell you it was wrong what went on.

On the other hand, you blame yourself for everything ever that happened there whether you were at fault or not. Hurting others, hurting yourself, gaslighting the fuck out of yourself over things maybe you could’ve prevented and over things you never could’ve stopped. The guilt is crippling and it eats you alive and haunts you.

There’s a lot of shame too. I see more guilt written than shame but shame is a huge portion of emotions that cult survivors have. Shits embarassing dude like “god how did I end up thinking this wack ass shit was normal” 😐 Shame comes later in the healing process usually, it’s after you have come to terms with shit that’s happened and you understand it. Looking back, you go “Jesus fucking Christ that was a red flag what the hell. Should’ve left then, or then, or then, or then” and then you’re just plain fuckin embarrassed.

Please look up how hive minds and brainwashing are created and work; also Stockholm Syndrome; understanding these would be incredibly helpful tbfh.

Diets are big; everyone eats the same thing; food is used as a reward and a punishment.

Hype hype hype. They whip up a frenzy of one singular emotion and use that to push you into a blind hysteria because you’re more suspectible to their influence when you’re out of your mind.

Drugs. Depends on the cult. But yeah these little bitches can be a huge factor for shit and can help with the brainwashing and hysteria and stockholm. Sometimes you don’t even know you’re being drugged or poisoned until you leave.

OH I ALMOST FORGOT. Dehumanization and then being treated like a person again can be traumatic as fuck yall!! Holy shit! Sometimes it feels worse than being dehumanized!

EDIT AGAIN: you don’t know what mental illness is !! Cults don’t fucking tell you these things lmao. if you show symptoms it’s your fault. Kevin being depressed his mom died was gonna get blamed on him and he was never going to be told grief is normal and it’s okay to be insanely sad. Jean also never got told his anger was correct or his trauma responses to being raped were realistic! They just got blamed for any reactions ever that weren’t neurotypical !! that is all; do with that what you will.

Idk if I think of anything else I’ll write another one but that’s all for now; I haven’t slept much lmao 🫡

#aftg #all for the game #edgar allan ravens #jean moreau #kevin day #riko moriyama #riko was a cult victim too yall #smh keep seeing people forget this #tetsuji moriyama #cult stuff #psycho analysis of aftg #kinda #it’s close enough #castle evermore #aftg fanfic #cultpastorkevin

[d0wnb4df0rf1cm3n]

don't give up on me.

Regulus Black x F!Reader

Summary: You're sick. Regulus knows that. But how can he convince you that you're worth saving?

Word Count: 6.5K

Warnings: IN DEPTH DISCUSSIONS OF EDS, WEIGHT LOSS, THROWING UP, FAINTING, HOSPITAL WING VISITS, ANY AND ALL ED-RELATED WARNINGS

AN: If this kind of content is triggering for you, PLEASE KEEP SCROLLING!!! nothing is more important to me than y'all keeping yourselves healthy - both mentally and physically! If this shit helps you then, here ya go :) (P.S. the summary is really bad sorry!!)

You ran back to the dorms, promising Pandora that you'd be back before breakfast. Lie.

Every day was pretty much the same: you weighed yourself on the muggle scale that you'd snuck into your bags behind your dad's back, and then based on that number, you'd eat. Or you wouldn't. It was easy to miss mealtimes - you'd make the excuse of needing to finish some homework or having forgotten something in the dorms. If you went to the hall during mealtimes, you'd put a little food on your plate and push it around to make it seem like you'd eaten loads when you hadn't touched anything at all.

If the number on the scale weren't acceptable to some extreme standard you'd set yourself to, then you'd spiral - only small amounts of food, you'd go on a run before dinner (strategically showing up late enough that there wouldn't be much left), calling yourself the worst names in the mirror.

It was a routine that you hated - you wanted to kick it, but you couldn't. It was a safety net. You needed control, and this was the only way to have it. It was your drug and you were dependent on it.

It had started as a need to look better, more like your sister. She was taller, skinnier, better at everything she did. You wanted that. So you started skipping meals, spending more time doing workouts - you'd bought one of those muggle aerobics DVDs, and you'd follow it almost every day. You lost a few kilograms in the first few weeks of summer, and the pride of achieving your goal outweighed the hunger pains and headaches. Your weight became an obsession to you and you weighed yourself after every meal and in the morning and night, and your diet to become healthier quickly became a desire to be smaller.

It didn't help that you remained invisible to everyone except your few Hogwarts friends. They owled you frequently, begging you to come up to London so you could spend time together, but you lived too far away for that to be possible. Your dad was busy all the time - it wasn't easy for him after the divorce - and your sister was busy with all her friends. They didn't like you very much, finding you odd as you went to school so far away. They left you alone for the most part - you only saw them when your sister agreed to drive you somewhere.

Not eating became natural after a while: the hunger pains stopped being painful, the headaches disappeared, and the desire to eat had all but disappeared. No one really noticed - you were pretty good at hiding your tricks - but your quickly shrinking body was noticeable. Your dad brought it up once, worried about how your clothes looked so big on your body: he offered to drive you to the doctors, wondering if being a wizard meant that you were more prone to getting sick. You shook your head, telling him that you were fine, but you made a mental reminder to buy much baggier clothes to hide the weight loss.

After that, you quickly went from loving your new body to despising it. You hid every inch of your skin even in the height of summer - hiding under baggy clothes, blankets, and behind pillows. You shoved your mirror to the back of your wardrobe.

By the time you went back to Hogwarts in September, your robes were far too big for you. You'd altered them sneakily: you kept the robes you had but they rested on your body better.

You'd avoided hugs from your friends, lying about an injured arm, but you'd happily reunited with them on the Hogwarts express. They all commented on how they were loving your new look - you smiled sadly at the reason. You remember getting off the train onto the platform - Regulus had helped you down from the train, gripping your hand tightly as you stepped off. As your friends dragged you away, you'd looked back at him. He'd looked almost concerned.

You came back to the Great Hall halfway through breakfast. You sat down with your friend, adjusting your collar where it was rubbing against your neck. You felt uncomfortable, almost like there was an emptiness in the back of your mind.

Pandora caught your eyes mouthing, are you ok? You nodded in response. You grabbed a glass of water and some fruit. Your throat was so dry and every single movement made you nauseous. It's fine, you told yourself, you can run it off before Charms. You're fine.

You were lying to yourself. You weren't okay, you had a problem and you knew it. But you couldn't pluck up the courage to go to Madam Pomfrey and get help. This was comfortable. You never wanted to go back to the way it was before - constantly hating your body for the way it looked in clothing, jealous of what others looked like. You'd take a few bad days like this over that.

You yawned. You were exhausted but your sleep wasn't restful or comfortable. Some parts of your body would always be sore when you woke up.

You felt someone move to sit next to you, and before you could turn to see who it was, they grabbed the apple out of your hand. You turned to protest, before seeing Regulus' pointed look and the knife in his hand. He began to cut up small slices and feed them to you, not giving you time to protest until the apple was finished and entirely consumed.

"Get a room lovebirds, someone from down the table called, but Regulus was quick to shoot them the finger. You smiled at that and Regulus let out a breath at the sight of it.

"It's nice to see you smile, canari. You don't seem to do it as much anymore," He said lowly, making sure his voice was only for you.

You pat his shoulder to reassure him, trying to hide your panicked mind behind gentle touches. He smiled at you before standing up to leave. He offered you a hand, which you gratefully took, and you both headed towards Defense Against the Dark Arts - your first lesson of the day.

That night, you had been planning on skipping dinner. You had convinced Pandora and Barty that you had an essay for Professor McGonagall that you hadn't even started, and they had believed you. They left you in the common room, promising to bring back one of your favourites - a Pumpkin Pasty. All was well.

You slipped out of your dorm room and down the stairs to the front door, heading out for a quick run.

"Where do you think you're going?" A voice cut through the cool air. You shut your eyes. Busted.

Regulus walked up to you, raising his eyebrows and waiting for an answer. "Tell me, Reggie, does growing up rich make you so entitled or are you just naturally a pompous ass?"

He laughed, throwing his head back, and grabbing your hand, "I'm going to let it go because you haven't eaten anything and you're probably hangry." He dragged you down to the Great Hall, even as you dragged your feet.

He pulled you in and sat you down by his side, piling your plate high with all the foods he knew were your favourite. If your anxiety wasn't spiraling, you would be touched that Regulus knew exactly what you liked and what you didn't.

People were sat all around the table, making small talk and eating. You took deep breaths as nonchalantly as you could, cutting up the food Regulus had piled on your plate. You didn’t want to draw any attention to yourself. Normally it wouldn’t be a problem - you’d have a few days of no one noticing you skipping meals, then you could comfortably eat dinner with no worries. You could prepare for that. But, after breakfast this morning was sprung on you, you didn’t think you should be eating this soon. I mean you had only just run off the apple you had for breakfast. How were you going to keep your weight down if you were gorging yourself on the most unhealthy food every minute of every day.

You tried to join in with the conversation every so often, pushing things around on your plate as you did so. You thought you were hiding it well, but you caught Regulus glancing at you in concern, every time you finished speaking.

Catching onto this habit, you worriedly stood up, grabbing your things and getting ready to go.

“Leaving again so early?” Barty asked, grabbing your wrist. He looked at the wrist almost concerned but you tugged your hand away. You looked around the table before your eyes landed on Regulus, concern filling his face.

You swallowed nervously, “Yeah, I'm going to head up to bed. Goodnight,” You stepped over the bench and left through one of the back doors. Regulus watched you leave. Something didn’t sit right with him.

As soon as you rounded the corner, you picked up the pace almost breaking into a jog. You made it down the stairs to the Slytherin common room, heart pounding in your chest and nearly threw yourself up the stairs to your dorm. You closed the door and locked yourself in the bathroom. You were usually methodical about this process, you had a system. But you were desperate at this point. You tied your hair up messily and filled up a hidden water bottle at the sink before chugging it and turning to the toilet. 

Back in the Great Hall, Regulus decided that he was going to go check on you. He excused himself and bid everyone a good night - just like you had - before heading in the direction of the Slytherin dorm. 

You were bent over the toilet, retching. You hated this so much. It didn’t feel good - it almost hurt - but you felt so relieved doing it. You couldn’t explain it. It was somehow the one thing that helped you feel better.

Regulus quickly made his way up the stairs to face your dorm. The stairs were enchanted to stop the boys from climbing up them, but Regulus was able to jump and skip a few steps to make it to the top. Nothing was going to stop him from getting to you. Not now.

Regulus knocked on your dorm door, to which he was met with silence. You couldn’t hear him. Not liking the feeling in his gut, he slowly pushed the door open. To his surprise, you weren’t there.

From the bathroom, he heard the faint sound of someone retching. Regulus furrowed his brows. You hadn't seemed sick this morning. Why didn’t you say something? You were going to go on a walk, for Merlin's sake! Closing the door behind him, he walked over to the bathroom door, pressing his ear to the door. That was definitely you retching. He knocked. You froze.

“Canari? Are you okay in there?” He asked, leaning against the door.

Shit. 

You scrambled to get up, quickly flushing the toilet and washing your hands.

"Canari?"

You splashed your face with water before replying, “I’m fine, Reg.” You cursed yourself for the wavering in your voice.

You turned to the mirror - you were a mess, your tear-streaked face red and splotchy. You washed your face, trying to get rid of as much inflammation as you could. 

You took a deep breath and leaned against the sink. How could you have been so stupid? How were you going to talk yourself out of this?

“Can you open the door, please?” Regulus said. He was half intending to break the door down, but he wouldn't violate you like that.

You sighed and opened the door with your head down. You tried to walk past Regulus, but he gently pulled you towards him, your head resting just over his heart. His finger tilted your face upwards, his eyes widening at your red eyes and face. 

“Why didn’t you tell anyone you were sick?” he asked.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” You tried to pry yourself away from him, but he wasn't letting you go so easily.

“You’re not fine if you’re throwing up. What's really going on?”

“It’s nothing. I had a stomach bug over the summer. Sometimes it acts up a little. It's fine. I'm fine.” you affirmed. Your solidness was almost more to convince yourself than him.

One look at Regulus told you he was not convinced. He pulled you back into his chest. "You sure that's all it is? You'll tell me if it gets worse?"

"Yeah, Reg, I'll tell you if it gets worse. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."

"It's okay, Canari. As long as you are okay, it's okay."

You managed to avoid any more confrontations until Christmas. You decided to stay at school over the Christmas holidays, like you usually did, which meant no friends to worry about your ever-growing problem.

You woke up to a dry throat and a pounding headache. The usual. You coaxed your body into slumping out of bed and you brushed your teeth. God, you looked a mess. The dark circles under your eyes were prominent and your face was pale and gaunt. You almost looked like a skeleton.

The sun was pretty high in the sky - it was probably almost afternoon. Shit. How could you have slept half the day away? It's fine you'll just have to stay up later tonight to finish all your essays. You walked out into the dorm to be greeted with 4 other empty beds - everyone else had gone home for the holidays. You figured it was probably safer to stay at school than to go home looking so terrible.

Begrudgingly, you pulled on a pair of jeans and a Slytherin sweater you were almost sure wasn't yours, and slipped down to the common room. You'd left an essay for Professor Binns in front of the fireplace - you had rushed to the bathroom after Barty had practically force-fed you a few. You'd blamed it on the fact you got a dog food-flavoured one (you didn't - it was chocolate brownie, which was almost worse), but the side-long glance Regulus had given you made you retreat into your dorm room for the rest of the night.

Still, you needed to finish that essay and you headed down the steps, pausing halfway down to calm your racing heart. The common room was cold and empty - it usually was in the winter, given that most Slytherin students went home for the break. You shivered violently - the cold that nestled into your bones in early October had refused to leave. Now, without at least a jumper or two under your robes, you were constantly shivering.

You glanced at all the tables - there was no parchment or quills. There was no one still here that would want to steal your essay or your quills, so you were surprised to see all your stuff gone and the common room completely clean. You searched everywhere in case the house elves had moved it while cleaning, but you couldn't find it anywhere.

Tears started brimming in your eyes knowing that those were the only quills you had and there wasn't much chance that you could afford to buy a whole set of new ones and finish your essay before Christmas day.

"Good morning, Canari." You whirled around to see Regulus standing behind you, his obsidian-black suit perfectly ironed and immaculately clean. His hair was perfectly coiffed - as it usually was - and his face clean of the stubble you knew that he was able to grow. Not a hair out of place. Never a hair out of place. Why couldn't you be more like Regulus - perfect without trying. Skinny and pretty and fun to be around. Not always worrying about if you were trying too hard.

A lone tear slipped out of your eye and down your face. Regulus was there in an instant, his hands grasping your face, thumbs wiping away any tears.

"What's wrong, Canari? Why are you crying?" Regulus said, pulling you into his chest. You felt him stiffen against you, his fingers running over your protruding spine. But you nestled into his warmth, the chill in your bones just barely sated by his heat.

You looked up into his eyes, sniffling, "Someone took all my stuff."

"What?"

"I forgot my stuff down here last night - my essay for Binns and all my quills were on the table, but now they're gone," your breathing picked up as you began to panic, "And I can't afford to buy a whole new pack of quills, which means that I won't be able to finish any of my other essays and Professor McGona-"

"Canari. I have your stuff." Regulus interrupted, his arms running up and down your back, "It's okay. I took it to my dorm before I went to bed. Here." Regulus led you to the staircase leading up to his dorm and made you wait as he dashed upstairs and got your things. He handed them to you in a neat pile before leading you back to your dorm with his hand on your lower back. "Put your stuff away and then come down with me. Let's eat breakfast together."

Alarm bells started ringing in your head. Eat? Now? With so much to do? How could you waste your time? But you couldn't make Regulus more suspicious of your behaviour.

You head down to the Great Hall with him, pulling at your sleeves as he placed all manner of pies and treats on your plate. You felt nauseated by the smell alone.

It didn't skip your notice how Regulus looked at you as if you were going to break at any second. Hell, he probably thought you already had.

You turned the corner off the path to head into the Forbidden Forest. If any of the Professors found you out here they'd give you a detention. That coincidentally would mean that you missed dinner. Two birds, one stone.

You set off on your run, keeping to the border of the forbidden forest, but deep enough in that no one would be able to see you without looking. You kept a steady pace - you were used to this routine. If you overate, you'd run until you felt exhausted and then you'd slip back into the dorm and skip dinner.

Except the snow was never normally this heavy and with every breath you exhaled a puff of smoke left your lungs. The inhales were almost painful, the cold air rough on your fragile lungs. You could hear your heart pounding in your head and your ears were starting to ring but you ploughed on.

What a mistake that was. You feel your foot slipping before you can even grab onto something. The next thing you know everything was black.

Regulus was worried. He'd paid close attention to your ever-deteriorating health, and he was worried, to say the least. After you'd run from lunch with him and Barty, he'd followed you back to the dorm. You hadn't even noticed him trailing you as you almost ran back to the common room. You'd slammed your dorm door shut and hadn't left for hours. You'd finally left when you thought no one was in the common room, dressed in some sweatpants and a jumper that was far too thin for this ghastly weather. He'd grabbed his own coat and a spare jacket for you, before following you through the hallways. He'd contemplated calling your name once, but clearly, there was something going on. And Regulus wanted to know what.

You'd slipped out of one of the doors to the courtyard and set off on a light jog down toward Hagrid's hut. That's odd, Regulus thought, you didn't have detention. Of course, it didn't pass his mind that you may just be running. After all, who would willingly go on a run in the middle of December in Scotland. Still, he watched as you ran down the steps that led to the now frost-covered pumpkin patches. Maybe you needed to collect something from him, he thought. Yes, that's probably it. Far more likely than Miss 'golden-girl' having a detention. Professor Kettleburn probably needed something and sent you to go get it.

His confusion only multiplied when you bypassed Hagrid's hut and disappeared into the thicket of the Forbidden Forest. Regulus picked up his pace, making sure that he wasn't caught as he followed your footsteps. He tried to keep up but you were always a faster runner than him, always making it to class on time even if you were both running late. He quickly lost you, having to resort to tracking your footsteps through the deep snow. He was ever more confused as to why you were out here - if anyone caught you here, you'd have a month's worth of evening detentions. Not the best way to start the year.

When he finally caught up to you, his heart dropped to his feet. You were lying face down in the snow, clothing soaked through. He knelt beside you, his hands running over your face as he softly called your name. Your skin was cold to the touch, causing Regulus to panic. He quickly bundled you up in the spare coat he brought with him. He removed the scarf from around his neck and wrapped it around yours, before tucking your hands into the pocket of the jacket.

He hoisted you up in his arms, wrapping his arms securely under your body. He slowly started walking back to the castle, being careful to avoid anyone seeing him leave the Forbidden Forest - the last thing he needed was the both of you getting in more trouble. He carried you through the hallways to the hospital wing, rapping his knuckles sharply against the window while you remained unconscious in his arms.

Madam Pomfrey was quick to open the door and, at the sight of your unconscious body, ushered you both inside, helping Regulus to lay you on one of the free beds. She laid a thick blanket over you and dug out a heating potion to dispel the chill from your bones. Regulus just sat by your side and held your hand. It was ice-cold as usual, but somehow Regulus never wanted to let go.

"...Mr. Black?" Madam Pomfrey asked, but Regulus had missed the question while he was staring at you. He looked up at her questioningly, silently asking her to repeat the question, "I said, will you get some dry clothes for her? I trust that you have something you can give her."

Regulus nodded dumbly, leaving the hospital wing before breaking into a run. He ran upstairs and pulled a sweater and some sweatpants for you. They would be big on you but hopefully, they would keep you from getting too cold. His heart was pounding as he returned to the hospital wing.

He diligently gave the jumper and sweatpants to Madam Pomfrey, before turning around so she could change your clothes modestly. It was nothing he hadn't seen before, he wanted to tell Madam Pomfrey, but somehow he was sure that she wouldn't appreciate that sentiment.

Once she was done and you were nestled under two layers of blankets and in clean clothes, Madam Pomfrey turned back to Regulus.

"Mr. Black, I'm going to have to collect a report from this accident from you, if you would so oblige."

"Uhh, of course, yeah. Um, well," Regulus prided himself on being a good liar, but under so much pressure, not so much. "We found a - uh - salamander on the fifth floor by the library when we were studying there earlier. She said she'd go tell Hagrid so she headed down to his hut. I wanted to find her to finish my essay before dinner so I headed down to see Hagrid, but then I found her lying in the snow."

Madam Pomfrey nodded, "Did Hagrid find out about the Salamander?"

Regulus nodded, "Yeah, one of the third years told him. I heard them talking about it while I was looking for her." It wasn't a total lie. Two third years had found a Salamander by the fifth-floor boys' toilets. They'd told Hagrid, and Regulus had overheard them talking about it.

Madam Pomfrey nodded, sealing away the report and filing it away. Regulus stood up to go back to the common room when Madam Pomfrey stopped him.

"She's incredibly thin, Mr. Black. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?" Regulus shook his head, "It's worrying how underweight she is. You haven't noticed anything? Anything out of the ordinary?"

Regulus shook his head again before turning around to leave the hospital wing. He knew something was wrong. He just didn't know what.

When you opened your eyes, the first thing you could feel was heat. You were warm. After months of being on the edge of freezing all the time, it was nice.

The second thing you noticed was the smell of cologne. A familiar cologne. Regulus' cologne. It was an expensive one - the Black family was rich and they weren't scared to show it off.

You opened your eyes slowly, grateful for the darkness. You looked towards the window to see that it was nighttime. You furrowed your brow in confusion. You could have sworn that it was just past lunch. You pushed yourself up further only to realise that you were in the hospital wing.

Before you could push yourself up even further, a voice interrupted you, "And just where do you think you're going, young lady?" Madam Pomfrey walked up to you with a glass of pumpkin juice in hand and two tablets. "You're dehydrated. And possibly have a concussion. You should be glad Mr. Black found you when he did."

Regulus found me? How the hell did he know where I was?

You took the pills from her hand and swallowed them down quickly. You savoured the taste of the Pumpkin Juice - it had been so long since you'd had the calorie-filled drink.

You turned to the door just in time to see Regulus walk in. It was as if he had exhaled for the first time seeing you awake. His shoulders dropped, his chest relaxed and all the tension in his face melted away.

He sat by your side gently, letting you finish the juice. Madam Pomfrey spoke up again, "Now, young lady, do you want to explain that nasty little fainting spell?" She said, her eyebrows raised as she scrutinised you.

"Uhh, well - I was - uh - walking down to Hagrid's hut, and - uh - my ears started ringing, and I think I fell." You said, your voice hoarse from disuse.

"And it has nothing to do with the fact that you are underweight?" Madam Pomfrey pressed.

"I've just been nauseous the last few days." You lied quickly, slightly recoiling under her heavy words, "I think it's stress but it might be a bug. I remember Pandora complaining about her stomach the night before she went home."

Madam Pomfrey seemed convinced. Regulus less so. As soon as Madam Pomfrey left, he turned to you.

"You lied." You shifted nervously under his intense gaze.

"I didn't. I have been nauseous all week."

"If you were nauseous, why were you on a run?"

"I thought the fresh air might help."

"Fresh air in the Forbidden Forest? Bullshit." Your heart dropped. He'd followed you there.

"Why did you follow me?"

"Why were you there alone? If I hadn't followed you and you'd fainted, you would have been dead by the time anyone found you."

"Oh, so I guess that means I should thank you now, should I? Oh, thank His Lordship, Mr. Black for saving my life, even thOUGH NO ONE ASKED HIM TOO!" You exclaimed, seething. You threw his hands off you and tried to push him away but he refused to budge.

"Stop being difficult," Regulus said, pulling the blankets back over your frail body.

"OH I'M BEING DIFF-"

"JUST TELL ME THE TRUTH!" He interrupted, his blue eyes blazing with fury. You could just about pick out the lingering concern that was embedded in his gaze. You saw red.

"GET OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! LEAVE ME ALONE!" You pushed Regulus away with every ounce of strength in your body. He fell off the chair, crashing to the ground in an undignified heap.

You watched, in horror at what you'd done, as he walked over to the door. He cast you a longing glance as he left, almost as if he was begging you, pleading you to let him in, to not shut him out. To let him help you.

You sighed. You weren't sure if you could be helped.

On Christmas Eve, Madam Pomfrey let you go back to your own bed, with the promise that you'd visit her every day so she could check up on you. Regulus hadn't visited since you told him to leave, and a small part of you was glad that he hadn't. The rest of you had missed him dearly.

You felt him walk up to you as you lounged on one of the sofas in front of the fire.

"Room for one more?" He asked hesitantly, standing in front of you. You shuffled to the edge of the sofa to give him room to sit down.

"So how are you?" He said, hands toying with his wand as he tried to avoid staring at you.

"We don't have to do this, Reg. Can we just let it go?" You sighed, hoping that you didn't have to get into this conversation right now.

"Yes, we do. Tell me, Canari, are you feeling better?"

"I'm fine, Reg." You both sat in awkward silence, not exactly knowing how to approach this conversation. "I'm gonna - uh - go. Now. Uh - bye."

You stood up, trying to escape into your dorm room, but Regulus beat you to it - blocking you with his body. It wasn't fair that he was almost a whole head taller than you.

"No, what's going on? Are you sick?" Regulus insisted, hands coming up to brush your arms. You shuddered at the gentle touch, but he still didn't pull away.

“Reg-”

“Canari.” he insisted. "Don't lie to me."

You took a deep breath. "I'm sick," you whispered quietly, but loud enough for Regulus to hear it.

He shifted on his feet, “What do you mean?”

You looked at him, noting the tears building up on his lash line. Regulus never cried. More than once, Barty had joked that the 'snowman didn't have a heart'. You shook your head, "It won’t make sense."

"Then help me understand."

You took a few breaths, trying to get your thoughts in order. Regulus led you back to the couch, his large warm hands covering your cold frail ones. You tried to get your thoughts in order, tried to figure out where to start. Well, it's probably best to start at the beginning. “I don’t know what happened. I was just supposed to lose a little weight. I started eating less, doing some muggle workouts. And it worked. But now - now, now I just can't stop." you finished.

Regulus' face contorted to one of concern. You avoided his gaze, your eyes filled with tears at finally revealing your secret. Regulus pulled you into his lap, his arms wrapping around you, pulling you into his chest. You nestled into them, your head of his heart as sobs started to wrack your body. Regulus held you tightly, whispering that it would be okay. He breathed deeply and steadily, hoping you would fall into rhythm with him. 

Eventually, your heaving breaths slowed, and you began to calm down. After a few moments of silence, Bucky asked “How long has this been going on?”

"Since the summer break. But I think the problem's been going on a lot longer than that." You whispered into his chest, defeated.

Regulus took a deep breath, his mind relaying all the suspicious behaviour he'd picked up on over the past term. "Why didn’t you say anything?"

You shrugged weakly, "It wasn’t your problem."

You jostled in his lap as he turned you to face him. "Canari. Your problems are my problems. How many times do I have to tell you that I'm here? Because I want to be here. For you. I want to help, Canari. Please." You avoided his gaze because you knew what you'd find. Genuine concern. Something you weren't sure if you deserved. "You always help me or anyone else whenever we need it. Remember when Pandora had those nightmares for months and every night you'd hold her hand until she fell asleep? Or when Barty told us that he was afraid of the dark so you gave him an enchanted tea candle that would never go out? Hmm? If we were going through this, wouldn’t you want to help us?"

"Of course, I would," you said firmly, tears building up in your eyes again. You rubbed the way with the corner of your sleeve, but Regulus caught your hand.

"So why can’t you let me help you the same way?" he asked, his eyes shining with sincerity.

You shook your head lightly, "It’s not that simple, Reg."

"Why?"

"Because.”

"Because what?"

"It's just not the same," you said a little louder, pushing yourself off his lap. You had to put a distance between him and yourself, or you knew that you would break. You turned around heading in any direction that was not here, not in front of the only man capable of reducing you to tears.

"I don't get it. What’s the difference between me and you? Why can’t you-"

“Because I don’t HATE you!” you exclaimed, turning around to face him again. The pain in your eyes was evident as you tried to shrink further into yourself. Regulus was up in an instant, cradling your head in his hands as if you were a porcelain doll. You took a shuddering breath, "It’s not the same thing because I don’t hate you. I want to help you all, because you are good people, and I like you."

Tears streamed down your face as the confession spilled from your lips. You told him about everything, the loneliness, the self-loathing, the punishments, everything. Regulus stood there as you sobbed in his arms and confessed to him, taking every beating and tucking it away in the corner of his frozen heart that was reserved for you.

When you had finally settled, Regulus looked at you sadly. His gaze was heavy as if he was trying to see if there were any other secrets you were hiding. "Is that really how you feel about yourself?" he asked, saddened even more when you began nodding. "What did you do that was so wrong?"

You didn’t know. The loneliness that had plagued your childhood had melted into the insecurity that you didn't belong anywhere, and you never would. So slowly, you accepted that you never would. Your voice was weak when you spoke up again, "I'm sick, Reg. I know that. But I don't think this kind of sick can be healed by one of Madam Pomfrey's potions. People catch colds or break bones - those can be fixed. And once it's fixed, it won’t bother them again. But this," you gestured your body repeatedly, "this I don’t know if I fix. I don’t know how, I don’t know where to start. It’s me against me. It's a losing game. I’m not the kind of sick that gets better, Reg," you shrugged slightly and shook your head.

Regulus wrapped his arms around you tighter, "There's always a cure."

"Not for me."

"No. You're not giving up. YOU CAN'T FUCKING GIVE UP WHEN YOU HAVEN'T EVEN TRIED TO GET BETTER!" Regulus wasn't one to lose composure ever. In fact, Regulus wasn't one to show much emotion at all, but here he was, crying and yelling over you. Trying to convince you to get better. He tucked his chest into you, whispering, "Please. Please, you can't- you can't leave me here. Not alone, please, Canari."

You rested your face on his head, your cheek pressed against his beautiful curly hair. You stayed like that, you pulled into his lap, his head cocooned into your chest, your head laying on the top of his head. Both of you expended every last tear in your body before he spoke up again.

“Can I try to help?"

"Hmm?"

"I mean you want to get better? Right?" Regulus removed himself from your chest and looked into your eyes. His hands traveled to rest on your face. You nodded. "You can always talk to me about anything," You avoided his gaze, "you know that right?"

At the uncertain look on your face, Regulus stiffened. You quickly spoke up, "It’s not that I don’t trust you. I do, but-" You paused thinking how best to word this.

"Yes?"

"It’s just that I don’t want to disappoint you," you said, your voice trailing off as you spoke. "I don’t want to fuck up and end up hurting you because I couldn’t be better. I don’t want you to worry every bloody day. You don't deserve that." you took a deep breath and looked away again. "I don’t want you to leave because I couldn’t be strong for you."

"Is that really what you think I would do?" Regulus asked, his tone growing angrier. You cowered under his anger, and Regulus noticed. He tried to level his breathing as he continued, "I would never be disappointed with you, because you're trying your best. You said it: you're sick. And sometimes it takes time to heal. And you're healing for you, so that you can have a happy life. A long life." He paused, considering whether to add this next part, "No matter whether that life has me in it."

You leaned into him again, his arms wrapping you into a tight hug. Your life would always have Regulus in it, no matter how long, short, sick, or healthy it would end up being. Regulus made you promise to go back to Madam Pomfrey in the morning to tell her the whole truth.

"Promise you will be there the whole time?" you asked softly, nuzzling into the crook of his neck, and exhaustion washed over you.

His arms tightened around you, "I promise. As long as you promise not to give up. Even when it gets hard."

You smiled your first proper smile in what felt like an age.

"I promise."

fin.

#regulus black smut #regulus black #regulus black x reader #regulus black x reader smut #regulus black fic #regulus black fanfiction #regulus smut #harry potter #hp #tw ed but not sheeran #regulus x y/n #harry potter x reader #regulus x reader #fi's baby blurbs #regulus black x fem!reader #regulus black x girlfriend!reader #marauders #marauders era #no y/n

[wandanatrules]

Dessert before dinner

you come home with dinner for you and your girlfriend but she thinks that you look tastier

warnings: smut, nat has a penis, heavily making out, cunnilingus, grinding, groping, reader being a tease, dirty talk, desperate horny nat, beefy!nat

Today you and your friends had went to the mall without your girlfriend, Natasha. The whole time you were there you couldn't stop thinking about her so you decided to stop at Victoria's Secret to get some stuff to model for her. After you got the lingerie, you stopped at the food court and picked up Chipotle for you and Nat to have for dinner. Nat is really into bodybuilding and working out, so Chipotle is one of her favorite foods to have with her protein filled diet, so you know she will be happy when you get home. 

You and your friends parted ways and you made your way home. You saw Nat's car and motorcycle in the garage, so you know she is home. When you walked into your shared apartment you put the food in the fridge for later and walked into the bedroom to see your girlfriend. She was laying on the bed reading a book and watching tv in the background.

 "Hi natty. I missed you." You said as you walked over to your girlfriend. She was wearing a tight fitted white wife beater with loose fitting boxer shorts on.

   "Hey baby, I missed you more." She said after putting her book down and pulling you into her lap to kiss you. The kiss started out sweet and soon turned rough. Her hands were moving south, but you pulled apart and stopped her so you could tease her with the lingerie first.  

   "Baby please, I wanna keep kissing you, you're so sexy in that dress babe." She whined when you pulled away.

   "Sorry baby, but I want to show you what I got at the mall first, and there is Chipotle in the kitchen for dinner later." You said as you picked up the bag from Victoria's Secret and she smirked at you.

   "Your the best baby, I can't wait to see what you're going to model for me." You walked into the bathroom attached to your room and changed into the first set from Victoria Secret it was a simple black lacy bra and thong set. You walked into the room and nat looked at you and smirked. "Baby, you look so sexy, come here" she grabbed you by the waist and started kissing your neck and groping your ass.

   "Thanks natty, but I have two more things to show you." You pulled away and changed and showed her the next two sets. When you walked out the final time Nat's eyes widened and she licked her lips. You looked down and saw her penis rise and harden in her shorts.

   "Baby please, don't tease me any longer, I need you." She begged and grabbed you as you walked over. You straddled her lap and she kissed you roughly. Her tongue explored your mouth pulling moans and whines from you. " You make the prettiest noises, baby." She panted out as she unclipped your bra and started sucking your nipple into her hot mouth. You started grinding your cunt on her cock to try and ease the ache in your core. Natasha reaches down and pulls your panties down and pulls her cock out of her boxers so you guys can have more friction from the skin to skin contact. She moves her hands down to your ass in and guides your grinding on her dick. The room is filled with the slick sounds of the arousal seeping out of your cunt and rubbing against her hard cock. Your moans are getting even louder and your panting like a cat in heat as you try and get yourself off on her cock while she kisses and sucks marks all over your face, neck.  

   "Ughh Natty, your dick feels so good against my clit. I'm so close." You moan and pant in her ear. She growls and picks up the pace in which she guides her hands on your ass.

   "I know baby me too I'm about to blow baby." You feel the knot in your stomach starting to unwind, so you pick up the pace and ride her like your life depends on it. Natasha doesn't last as long as you do and thick ropes of semen end up spurting out and coating your cunt and ass in her cum. The hot gush of cum sprayed your cunt and you ended up cumming not even a second after. Your cunt and her penis were sticky and covered in your shared arousals, after you both came down from your highs nat told you to ride her face, so she could clean you up. You make your way up her body and straddle her face. "I wanna die in between your beautiful thighs baby." She moaned out after placing a kiss to your clit. She sticks her tongue out and starts to lick your and suck at your clit, moaning at the taste of your guys' mixed arousals. She starts to increase her intensity in which she is eating you out and you start to buck your hips and grind your cunt on her eager tongue. You are still sensitive from your previous orgasm and it doesn't take you long at all to fall apart at her mercy. You cum in her mouth and she licks her lips with a smirk. You lean down and kiss the smirk off her face moaning at the taste. You stay laying on top of Natasha while you catch your breath and come down from your high.

   "Natty you're so good at that." You said with a blush as you looked up at your girlfriend.

   "I actually worked up quite an appetite, now that we got dessert out of the way, how about we go and eat dinner." She said as she picked you up and brought you to the kitchen so you guys could eat.

   "Your dessert isn't done yet you can have seconds later." You said with a smirk as you pressed a kiss to her lips.

#beefy!nat #natasha romanoff smut #reader is a tease #natasha romanoff x fem reader #natasha romanoff fluff #black widow #natasha romanoff #g!p natasha

[shanastoryteller]

Happy Pride, Shana! 🏳️‍🌈☺️💕

Please, I need more of your Jim and Sybok buddy fic!

a continuation of 1 2 3 4

Sybok double checks Jim's numbers, then triple checks them, and normally that would get him a some sarcastic indignation, but instead Jim just paces and rubs his hands against his thighs and simultaneously looks his age and at the same time far too old.

"The ion storms are unpredictable," he says finally. "It's possible we'll be able to get a signal out to Starfleet before the spring."

"Well, anything's possible," Jim agrees. "Seventy three years of ion storm data says it's not fucking likely, though." He runs his hands through his hair. "The season just started, if I'd started a few weeks ago, we could have got a message out before the storms rolled in-"

"Hey," he says sharply. "We're lucky you discovered it this early. We can start conserving food now, and maybe - maybe we'll get lucky again."

Fall has just started, the season of harvest that gets them through the austere winter. Tarsus IV doesn't get cold, not like it can on Earth, but it does get dry. Sybok had actually been looking forward to the winter, since the climate would more closely resemble what he grew up with on Vulcan.

That had been when he'd though food would be abundant, if a combination of heavily salted and flash frozen.

Jim gives him a look that reminds him, horribly, of his father. "What's the official Vulcan stance on luck again?"

He glares. "It is illogical to ignore the possibility of survival just because of a low probability."

"That's not it and you know it," he laughs, humorless.

"Maybe we can develop some sort of pesticide to save the remaining crops.

Jim's reaction is pure offense, which is at least an improvement on hopelessness. "Okay, I didn't graduate from the VSA, but I did run these experiments myself, you know. It's all already infected almost all of our crops. They're a goner, and everyone is going to figure that out in a couple of weeks when everything rots from the inside out."

Yeah. They can probably synthesize something to counteract these parasites for the next planting season, but that depends on them being around come spring.

"We won't all die," Sybok says quietly, because many planets have endured similar circumstances in their past, however distant. "There are always survivors."

Jim presses his lips together. "Yeah. Because Vulcans' strict vegetarian diet really lends itself it to cannibalism."

Sybok's stomach rolls but he keeps his face neutral. "Technically, as I am the only Vulcan on planet, it would not be cannibalism."

There are always survivors, but their survival comes at a price. He already knows that it's a price he's unwilling to pay.

He should have listened to Amanda.

#prompt answers #prompts are closed #asks #anon #star trek

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Do you think Riddle is so short because of what his mom made him eat ?

Like only making him get the perfect amount of calories like in his overblot backstory

Maybe it is because his mom is also short? Anyways she doesn't seem tall, also where is his dad.

***PLEASE NOTE: I am NOT speaking as a dietician or a doctor; the information and interpretations presented here are based my own scientific knowledge and research, and apply ONLY to the analysis of a fictional character. This post is NOT meant to be taken as any sort of medical or dietary advice.*** Personally, I'm not of the belief that Riddle is short due to his controlled dietary intake. In very simple terms, calories can be thought of as the fuel you burn to get through activities. While a caloric deficit can contribute to stunting of growth, I don't think this applies to Riddle since he lives a relatively sedentary lifestyle (sitting and studying) and is provided an adequate amount of calories per meal. I want to take a quick moment to dispel the commonly held belief that Mrs. Rosehearts underfeeds Riddle. This seems to sprout from a misinterpretation of a line in 1-25 when she is serving Riddle a birthday meal. Here, she states the exact amount that Riddle must have in order to not overshoot 600 kilocalories. This is led some fans to think that Mrs. Rosehearts restricts Riddle to 600 kilocalories a day, which is just not true. From the dialogue, it is clear that Riddle is granted 600 kilocalories per meal. Assuming 3 meals a day, that means 1800 kilocalories per day, which is very close to the recommended 1745 kilocalories for the average 8-year old boy (not accounting for fluctuations from individual child to individual child). This is a perfectly normal intake, but is appears strange at first glance because very few parents actively calorie count what their child eats to this extent.

Back to the original topic, nutrient intake also contributes to height. (Think of nutrients as the building blocks to a building called your body, and the calories as workers or the 'energy' that assembles the building/your body.) However, that doesn't mean that I think Riddle didn't get enough nutrients; it is possible to have low calorie meals which are nutritious. (For example, athletes may have to follow specialized diets in order to attune their bodies to whatever sport or activity they do. Similarly, Vil crafts a diet for the VDC/SDC squad in book 5 which cuts out junk food, is overall lower in calories, and still provides the group with the energy they need for practice.) Mrs. Rosehearts has dialogue where she describes the nutritional content of the meals she has prepared, which seem to be tailored for brain function. I'm going to assume that those meals also adequately provided for Riddle's other nutritional needs. I don't have reason to believe Mrs. Rosehearts, a doctor and mother who is detail-oriented and hellbent on her child's success, would knowingly and intentionally sabotage his health.

It’s canon that maintaining physical wellbeing makes for a good mage (which is why NRC makes its students take P.E.). Additionally, eating well is said to be one way a mage can make a recovery from blot accumulation. If Riddle were eating poorly and/or was of poor health, that would only mean struggles with concentration and his magic suffering the consequences—and that’s very much counterintuitive to the success that Mrs. Rosehearts envisions for her son.

You don’t need an abundance of calories or nutrients for growth and development. The excess will get stored as adipose tissue/fat or (depending on the nutrient) exit the body as waste. It’s important for a child to be fed well in order to grow properly, but generally if they aren’t malnourished (ie getting less than what they need) then they wouldn’t be stunted.

By in large, genetics is the major deciding factor in height. I believe current studies suggest as much as 60-80% of one's height is predetermined by DNA sequences (although those DNA sequences can be altered by the environment and outside other factors). It could very well be that Riddle is just short because his ancestors had the "short" gene. Looking back at manga images of Riddle's mom from the manga, she doesn't seem that short to me. Even when Mrs. Clover is bowing her head to her, both moms appear to be about the same height (if Mrs. Clover were standing). Maybe Mrs. Clover is a little taller (it's hard to say just staring at the image), but not by a lot. If I had to guess, they seem to be about average height for women. That doesn't mean anything in terms of genetics though, you could be any height and still carry the "short" gene to pass onto your children (the shortness trait just isn't always expressed outwardly.)

If I had to guess, I’d say Riddle is just “naturally” short or drew a bad lot in terms of genetics (since his height seems to be a sore spot for him). He’s about that age where most men will stop growing too (although some do grow well into their late teens and even early twenties).

Regarding Mr. Rosehearts, we haven't seen him yet but he's definitely mentioned a few times! He is said to be a medical mage like his wife and is implied to not have a happy marriage with her (according to Riddle). That's about all we know of him now. Some parental figures just get less focus than the other, and that’s the case for Mr. Rosehearts as well as many others (Mrs. Trappola, Mr. Spade, Mrs. Asim, etc.).

It’s possible that the short gene came from Mr. Rosehearts, but we don’t know for sure since we’ve never gotten so much as a silhouette for him. Again though, he could be tall or average but have an unexpressed short gene. I believe many fans headcanon him as short though, as the King of Hearts in the source material is smaller and meeker than his wifez

#twst #twisted wonderland #Riddle Rosehearts #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #twst manga #twisted wonderland manga #episode of heartslabyul #episode of heartslabyul manga #spoilers #question #notes from the writing raven #Vil Schoenheit

[newvegascowboy]

food & agriculture in fallout: extrapolation and speculative worldbuilding

Okay, well. This is going to be an extremely long and data heavy post. Bear with me.

I'm going to go into detail about the crops and available food given to us canonically and textually. I'm going to be drawing some real world parallels between the crops we see in Fallout and what we have here. I'll be pulling relevant data from all the games, but the majority focus on this post is going to be about the east coast and Massachusetts in particular because it gives us the opportunity to participate in the agricultural climate of the wasteland.

Is there a point to this? Not really, but I'm pedantic and I take things too seriously.

my sources will be linked in the text throughout. for those of you who want to read about agricultural and growing zones of the continental united states, please follow me under the cut.

Growing zones and real world agriculture

Shown here are the growing zones of the united states, divided into a temperature map of about 19 different regions. It's fairly intuitive to read -- colder temperatures are north and east, while warmer temperatures are south and west. The majority of the Mojave desert sits between 7a to 9a, a temperature range of about 20 degrees. DC and the nearby section of the southeast coast sits between 7a and 8a. The interactive map linked below will tell you where your growing zone sits.

The 2012 USDA Plant Hardiness Zone Map is the standard by which gardeners and growers can determine which plants are most likely to thrive at a location. The map is based on the average annual minimum winter temperature, divided into 10-degree F zones and further divided into 5-degree F half-zones.

For the moment, we are going to focus on Massachusetts.

Using the temperature above, we can see that the growing zone of Massachusetts is 5a (-20f) at it's very coldest, all the way to 7b, (5f) at it's warmest during winter. Most of what we see in fallout 5 sits in the 6a to 6b zone, which is middle ground during the winter, but cold enough to want to warrant crops that can withstand the frost.

There is a solid 5 month window for planting annual crops, like corn, melons, and gourds like pumpkin. Your perennial crops are limited to fruit trees and possibly grains, depending on the variety and whether or not a perennial variety has been bred.

Cold weather crops include beets, carrots, greens like cabbage, collards, kale, and potatoes. These aren't the types of crops that will survive the winter as much as these are foods that can go in the ground as soon as it is unfrozen enough to be workable. Root vegetables and greens can germinate in soil as cold as 40 degrees Fahrenheit, which provides some leeway with unpredictable frosts and late planting times.

Much of the agricultural landscape of Massachusetts is dependent on the dairy industry, farming cattle, and aquaculture -- fishing and catching shellfish. Those with access to the coasts, fish and shellfish ought to provide protein during lean months.

Why are we talking about this? Well, if we're stepping into the shoes of a subsistence farmer in the fallout universe, we're going to have to take into account climate and ideal planting times for certain crops. It's not wholly important in terms of things like fic writing, unless you happen to be writing about the life and times of wasteland agriculture, in which case, I hope this is helpful! Again, I am pedantic, and this section is to provide a template when considering and discussing other parts of the game and what their specific diet and agricultural landscapes might look like.

Something to keep in mind when thinking about how farms might function in the Mojave, for instance, or if you're doing worldbuilding for a different part of the US.

Crops in the fallout universe

Now that we're familiar with growing zones and why certain crops are planted and when, we're going to apply some speculative worldbuilding to fallout itself. We will be revisiting growing zones when we talk about other climates, but for the moment, we're going to focus on fallout 4.

Now to preface -- I don't think that the food that is given to us in game is wholly representative of the plants or animals that survived the apocalypse. If some managed to mutant and survive, I'm willing to bet others did. I certainly won't deduct any points from anyone who wants to talk about growing cotton, or farming peaches or cherries, and I won't raise any eyebrows if someone includes things like spices into their wasteland cuisine.

In the 210+ years since the bombs fell, I do not think that the majority of the US is a desolate wasteland, but this post is not going to be my beef with the devs about how brown everything is. This beef is about food in particular. However, for sake of ease, I'm mostly just going to focus on the food that is presented to us in game.

There will be some extrapolation and speculation later, but if I do that for everything, then we'll be here all day, and we've all got things to do.

I would also be remiss to mention that agriculture in the US is old. It predates colonialism. The Native Americans cultivated the land long before any European settlers. They practiced a type of crop growing referred to as Three Sisters planting, which utilized corn, pole beans, and squash -- all things that exist in the agricultural landscape of Fallout as we know it.

Corn

I'm not going to say much about corn because there's not a lot to say about it. We all know what corn is. Fallout's corn is visually similar to wild violet, a hybrid corn.

But I am not going to say Fallout's corn is one such variety or another. In the 210 years since the bombs dropped, I imagine corn varietals have been bred and interbred a thousand times, and it is probably it's own unique strain. It's kind of a moot point. Corn is corn. You can do with yellow corn what you can do with wild violet, and whatever special breeds that make up Fallout's corn.

Corn is the third largest plant-based food source in the world. Despite its importance as a major food in many parts of the world, corn is inferior to other cereals in nutritional value. Its protein is of poor quality, and it is deficient in niacin. Diets in which it predominates often result in pellagra (niacin-deficiency disease). Corn is high in dietary fibre and rich in antioxidants.

You can do a shit ton with corn. It's a staple grain. It would not be incongruous with the fallout setting to have settlers making tortillas, cornbread, polenta, grits, tamales, etc. Corn can also be used to make corn whiskey. The husks can be spun into yarn and woven into garments similar to cotton, which I thought was interesting and also solves the problem of where the hell wastelanders are getting their clothes. Corn can be used as livestock feed, especially in the winter when cattle can't graze. While corn is a staple grain of the US, the east coast has minor corn production compared to places like the midwest. Corn is a staple, but it does not consist of the entire diet of your average wastelander.

Carrots

Not going to say much about carrots either. They're carrots. They grow well in colder soil and tend to have a lot of natural sugars. The carrots we're shown in FO4 seem to be a mutated variety different than the "fresh carrot" consumable in FNV, but there's virtually no difference, so I'm not counting it. Make some carrot cake.

Razorgrain

"This species appears to be quite promising. It's a toothy grain that we may be able to grind in order to replace wheat, which is untenable in the Wasteland. We are uncertain how to increase crop yields, which are very unpredictable. Will continue to study."

Razorgrain is our first unique mutated crop in the fallout setting. It most closely resembles a barley or a rye. Both are a fairly hardy species and can grow all across the continental united states; rye can germinate in cold weather temperatures. It wouldn't be outrageous to assume that razorgrain is similar too or a crossbred variation of both rye and barley. I have decided to base the majority of my research assuming it is a barley variant. Barley is also a major crop on the east coast near the Commonwealth, so that would explain why razorgrain is present in FO4 and not in the other games.

Barley requires a mild winter climate and can grow in growing zones 3-8, so it would be viable in Massachusetts. Barley can be milled into flour and it contains gluten; the gluten content of North American wheat and barley tends to be higher to survive the colder climates, so razorgrain would likely be very glutenous. It is also less susceptible to ergot than rye, but barley can still become infected -- and, I am assuming, razorgrain could as well.

Razorgrain fills the nutritional niche of carbohydrates and can be used to make breads, cakes, pastas, etc. It produces darker breads that have an earthier flavor than milled white flour. There has to be some method of actually milling the grain, though, which is an intensive process that can often be dangerous. Grain can also be used to make malted candy, which is our first option for wastelanders with a sweet tooth. Obviously, razorgrain can also be used to make malt or grain alcohol and is probably the source of all the beer you find littered around the wasteland.

Gourds and melons

Gourds and melons are actually a part of the same family, Cucurbita. The category of 'gourd' covers several different kinds of vegetables, including ornamental fruits that shouldn't be eaten. We aren't going to spend a whole lot of time on this one, simply because canon doesn't tell us that much and there's a lot of wiggle room in terms of interpretation.

FO4's model looks the most similar to a pumpkin, but it could be some other squash varietal from the Cucurbita family, which includes watermelon, honey melon, cucumber, squash, zucchini and pumpkin.

Melons is another pretty broad category. Melons and squash are part of the same family, as mentioned above. If we're going visuals again, the model is likely intended to resemble a watermelon. Watermelons grow best in humid and semi-arid environments between 70 and 8- degrees Fahrenheit. It's not impossible for wastelanders to be growing watermelons, but considering the humidity and frequent rainfall in Massachusetts, the melons would be vulnerable to fungal infections.

There isn't a lot of information on what specifically gourds and melons are in the fallout universe, so you could get away with writing in a pretty wide variety. Personally, I lean a little bit towards melons being a muskmelon variety, like cantaloupe or honeydew. Squash fills in some vitamin requirements for the human diet, and can be canned and stored for winter. It tends to be high in vitamin C and magnesium.

The limit to this one seems to be your imagination. Go crazy.

Mutfruit

This wiki claims that the mutfruit (it has a scientific name apparently, malus maata) is a mutated species of apple and crabapple. There are two different wikis about the mutfruit, both distinct. The first is linked above. The second is linked here -- I got most of my information from this second wiki.

There is a handful of "canon" information we can take from this set of wikis.

Priscilla Penske in Vault 81 is attempting to create foods that have increased resistance to radiation. She mentions the mutfruit would do well, but isn't certain how the hybridization would affect the flavor and texture.[5]

This claim is taken directly from the second wiki, but in comparison, it makes no sense. If the mutfruit tree is a product of mutation, then radiation shouldn't really affect it at all. It's survived and propagated to this point, hasn't it? I am disregarding this claim on the basis of being stupid.

Farmers in at Warwick homestead will comment on the fruit's characteristics, such as tasting sweet and being versatile in recipes.[1][2] The vault dwellers of Vault 81 trade for mutfruit with the outside world, and use it to make special occasion desserts such as pie.[6][7]

If the mutfruit is an apple variant, then it likely has a high sugar content, and it would have to be harvested in the peak of summer or in early fall.

There are fresh apples the be found across the wasteland, implying the existence of apple trees that have been unaffected by the bombs. Personally, I was assuming that the mutfruit was some kind of blackberry, given its appearance as a clustered fruit, or maybe even a type of plum. Regardless, the mutfruit is a fruit, which means that it would preserve well by being jarred or canned, has a high sugar content, and could likely be reduced to form sugar syrups. Like any fruit, it could be used to make alcohol.

Tatos

I want to stop myself from editorializing too much, but goddamn tatos. The crop that makes the least goddamn sense in the fallout universe. The bane of my existence. Let's get into it.

First off, we're given some pretty damning canon facts about tatos:

Tatos are a mutated hybrid of the cross-pollination of the tomato and potato plants.[1] The new consumable looks like a tomato on the outside, but the inside is brown.[2] Commonly cultivated in the Commonwealth, Appalachia and on the Island, its fruit is easy to grow and can keep one from starving, but their taste is described as "disgusting"[2][3][Non-game 1] and resembling "ketchup-flavored cardboard."[1]

According to some old botany texts we found, this appears to be combination of a now extinct plant called a "potato" and another extinct plant called a "tomato." The outside looks like a tomato, but the inside is brown. Tastes as absolutely disgusting as it looks, but will keep you from starving.

Note: This text was written from the perspective of someone who is unaware that both the tomato and the potato are being cultivated elsewhere. The writer also does not mention any sort of DNA test. However, the potato is also found in the Capital Wasteland, and the writer is a scribe in the Brotherhood of Steel, which originated from that area.

Both potatoes and tomatoes are from the nightshade family. They have the same nutrient requirements, and would compete for resources if planted separately but in the same soil. There is a method for planting them together where you splice a tomato stalk onto a potato root, but this is not the same as cross pollination and will not result in what fallout presents as a tato. What will happen is that the roots will grow potatoes and the fruit of the tomato will branch off the stems.

The potato itself is a stem tuber -- high in starch and calorically dense. A stem tuber is an offshoot of the parent plant that will grow beneath the soil as a type of asexual budding reproduction. We all know what a potato is. The tomato is a berry. It's the ovary of a flowering plant -- again, we all know what a tomato is.

I am going to give Fallout a little bit of grace and not comment on how mind bendingly stupid their description of a tato is. The outer skin is a tomato, but the inside is brown and starchy like the potato? I am not going to comment on how it makes little to no biological sense. The starchy tuber is starchy because it's an energy and nutrient storage device. The tomato is the enlarged ovary of a fruit. Why did those things, which are separately very good, combine into one very terrible thing? I don't know. It doesn't make sense. I don't really want to think about it. But these are the facts as they are given to us in game and I suppose I have to live with that. Obligatory "goddamn you todd howard. a pox on your house."

The tato is probably extremely calorically dense. It's specifically mentioned as being easy to grow and it is a better alternative to starving. It's probably grown as a staple crop throughout the planting season. I'm not entirely sure if the tato can produce glycoalkaloids like the potato does (that is, the green sections of the potato that can become poisonous when exposed to light) but if they can, and if stored improperly, it would negatively impact the health of whoever ate them.

I suppose since the taste is so offensive, tatos are better served as a carrier of some other type of food. Fried, mashed, baked -- the purpose of the tato is simply to get calories into your body. Starch can also be turned into alcohol, which I am going to need a lot of after reading the canonical facts of this stupid fucking plant.

 Fallout: The Roleplaying Game Rulebook p.158: "A mutated hybrid of the pre-War tomato and potato plants, with the stem and reddish skin of the former and the brownish flesh of the latter. Tatos provide decent nutrition, but taste disgusting. However, they’re relatively easy to grow and thus are a staple of wasteland agriculture and is an ingredient in a variety of recipes."

fucker

"non farmable" crops

You can't cultivate these plants, but again - we're taking what's given to us and interpreting it extremely literally. There is no reason that these crops could not be domesticated and farmed.

Siltbean

Siltbean is likely a type of bushbean, rather than a pole bean. It's squat and low to the ground. Bush beans require little care or attention and you can pick them when you're ready to harvest them. Historically in North America, beans and corn were grown side by side (though those beans were pole beans using the stalks as support). Bush beans require successive plantings since harvests are early.

There's no good allegory for what type of bean this might be. The potato bean (Apios americana) is native to North America and also produces edible tubers, but there's no reason this couldn't be just some other type of bean. No beans that I could find had red/orange pods.

Beans are a good source of both proteins and carbohydrates, and another crop that can store well for the winter.

Tarberry

Tarberry is a little iffy, considering it is farmed by the ghouls at The Slog, but they're the only farm shown capable (or willing?) to farm the berries. Originally, I had assumed that tarberries were a type of mutated cranberry, and I thought the wiki was supporting me in that claim by saying this:

Tarberries are small, dusty orange berries of the tarberry plant. It is a water-grown crop similar to cranberries.

But cranberries themselves are also canon in the world of Fallout. So who knows! There's no canon information presented on the tarberry's characteristics, so it can be treated the same as any other fruit or berry.

Fungus variants

Glowing fungus: Glowing fungus is one of the few real world equivalents we have. It is a Japanese mushroom called Enoki. It is also farmable as shown in FNV at Hell's Motel.

Brain fungus: This is harvestable, but there aren't any "crops" shown as we would consider them. Considering it's benefits as a mentat replacement, then it's likely that there could be a dedicated space for growing it.

Food and Plants mentioned in the text

Potato

Thank god almighty, potatoes are canon in the universe of Fallout. Fresh potatoes are found as consumables in FO3 and FNV but potatoes are also mentioned in the text of FO4:

Mentioned in dialogue -- {Angry} Shut up Jake. If I hear anything out of either of you, you'll both be peeling potatoes for the next year.

I'm taking this as word of god. Potatoes are canon and I don't care what anyone says.

Tomato

Tomatoes are mentioned in the text, but are never actually seen in game. The only hint that this plant survived extinction is this excerpt from the wiki.

Note: As fresh tomatoes and potatoes are seen in the Mojave Wasteland as of 2281, with the potato seen in the Capital Wasteland as of 2277, the claim of either's extinction by 2287 in the Commonwealth Plant Database could be taken to mean local extinction in east coast regions, as opposed to global extinction. This entry may also just be in error.

There's potential for leeway here, but take it as you will!

Fresh apple

We discussed this back up in the mutfruit section of the essay, but the existence of fresh apples implies the existence of non mutated apple trees. They're found in both FO3 and FNV as a consumable item, so the apple tress have either proliferated across the continental united states, or multiple varieties survived the bombs.

Fresh pear

See above. Pears are also naturally high in pectin, which makes them useful for making jams and preserves.

Pinto beans

Pinto beans are a consumable in FNV and is another W in the bean category of the agricultural landscape.

Jalepeno

Look, I'm picking out this one specifically because I need to believe that other spices and peppers exist in the world. Where would we be without her? Nowhere good.

Raw sap

I am going to say that sap collecting is probably where most of the sugars and sweeteners in the wasteland come from. It's relatively easy to tap trees and collect sap, and it only takes a few hours to reduce the sap down into useable syrup.

Wild Blackberry, Lime, Cranberries, as well as Watermelon as being distinct from simply 'melon' are all mentioned in the text. The list of fruits mentioned or found in the games can be found here.

Animal husbandry

Fallout doesn't give us a lot of canonical information on the animal side of farming. The biggest real world agricultural export of Massachusetts is dairy and cattle farming. Chickens are canon in the worldbuilding of fallout as of Far Harbor, but canon feels both restrictive and extremely loose with regards to what animals can be cared for and how.

We aren't going to spend a whole lot of time on this one, only because the information is pretty limited.

Brahmin

There are plenty of brahmin found throughout the landscape of the wasteland. We most commonly see them as either livestock or beasts of burden. Things like milk, cheese, and other dairy products would be common if a farm has access to dairy cows. The investment to raise cows would be enormous for a subsistence farmer. Dairy cows would likely be kept for a number of years, where steers would be raised 12 to 24 months before being slaughtered; they'd likely be grass fed in the summer and corn or grain fed in the winter. Leather and beef would be products, of course, and things like soap and candles can be made from the beef tallow.

Chickens

Chickens are largely easy to keep and care for, producing eggs and necessary proteins. Chickens can provide niacin, filling in the nutritional gap that would be left by a heavy corn based diet. The investment for keeping chickens is lower than raising brahmin, but so is the payoff.

Bighorners

Bighorners are mutated bighorn sheep native to the American Southwest.[1] Humans have since domesticated them for their horns, meat, milk, and hides,[2][3]

Granted, bighorners are only seen in FNV, but I don't think there's any reason they couldn't have migrated east. In the text, it says they're kept for meat and milk, but there's no reason that they shouldn't provide a fleece as well. In the colder climate of Massachusetts, they would find value in wool, which can keep its warmth even when wet. They may be sparse across the commonwealth, but that would make wool and fleece all that much more valuable.

Fish

Yeah, I know. Technically we can't fish in Fallout (and depending on the game you play, you might not even know what a fish is). But aquaculture is huge in Boston, and with access to the coasts, it's completely fair to say that fish, shellfish, and hydroponics is a completely viable source of food in the wasteland. We see dead fish washed up on shore all the time, along with whatever the hell those shark things are. There should be fisheries and fishing towns all along the coasts.

New Vegas and Fallout 3

Consulting our growing zone chart, we can see that much of the southwest sits between 7b to 8b. The winters in the southwest are fairly mild, and while you can get seeds in the ground sooner, the majority of the battle is going to be finding a reliable water source.

The farming we see in New Vegas has one distinct notable inclusion: the NCR sharecropper farm.

The sharecroppers are growing a number of crops, including maize, tobacco, pinto beans, and honey mesquite. Corn can handle hot, arid weather, it's just not commercially grown out west. Barley can also handle hot, arid climates, and razorgrain would be suitable for the western front -- maybe we can assume it's made it's way that far west and is being cultivated alongside corn.

Most of the plants we see in FNV aren't the type we would see typically domesticated for agricultural use, but that doesn't mean people haven't adapted to their surroundings. It makes a lot of sense for locals to have domesticated local plants like prickly pear and banana yucca. There are a number of fresh produce items to be found as consumables, alongside local fruits the local fruits.

Heat-loving plants are best suited for summer production in desert climates. The plant families that fit into the heat-loving category are nightshade or Solanaceae (tomatoes, peppers, eggplant) and squash or Cucurbitaceae (cucumbers, melons, summer and winter squash). Corn and beans also perform best in hot climates.

Most plants CAN handle the heat and climate of the southwest, the issue is just finding a reliable source of water. Somewhere close to Lake Mead or the banks of the Virgin River would be prime real estate for farming, since irrigation could be accomplished without the use of pumps, like the sharecroppers use.

If we look back at the history of agriculture, it's developed along established waterways in almost every ancient civilization because that's what's easiest. There should be thriving communities surrounding the lakes and rivers in the southwest.

Comparatively, DC was formerly a swamp. It's hot and humid in the summer, though the winters are fairly mild. It wouldn't be a stretch to say that farming practices in the Commonwealth don't differ all that much from farming in the Capital Wasteland -- you could even posit that food from the Capital is of better quality ever since the successful activation of Project Purity. Fresh and unirradiated food was growing there before, so it's entirely likely that even more is growing now. YMMV!

Other consumables

We would be here all damn day if I did research onto every single consumable item available across all three games, so this mostly just because I'm covering my bases.

I am going to say that sap collecting is probably where most of the sugars and sweeteners in the wasteland come from. It's relatively easy to tap trees and collect sap, and it only takes a few hours to reduce the sap down into useable syrup.

Look, I'm picking out this one specifically because I need to believe that other spices and peppers exist in the world. Where would we be without her? Nowhere good.

Pre War food

Most shelf-stable foods are safe indefinitely. In fact, canned goods will last for years, as long as the can itself is in good condition (no rust, dents, or swelling). Packaged foods (cereal, pasta, cookies) will be safe past the ‘best by’ date, although they may eventually become stale or develop an off flavor. 

The risk with improperly canned good, or damaged canned goods, is botulism. Botulism will straight up kill you. You don't even have to consume that much of it; just a little bit will leave you dead in days. As desperate as I might be for a meal, I'm not going to risk dying because that can of two hundred year old peaches looks really tasty.

If properly sealed and in a dry, ideal environment, I... guess things like cereal and instant food could be okay? But again, with access to fresh grain, sugars, and yes, even potatoes and pasta, why would you want to risk eating InstaMash that's been around since before your great grandmother.

Pre War drinks

Sigh. Okay.

Unless stored extremely, extremely well, most bottled drinks aren't going to last much longer than 9 months. A year, if you're lucky. Exposure to sunlight and improper storage will break down the contents -- the best bottles are brown, then green. Clear glass is the worst because it does nothing to protect the liquid inside.

All the Nuka Cola you find throughout the world is flat, nasty, and will probably make you sick. I don't think that really needs to be pointed out, but there we go. I suppose the soda could probably be reduced to form sugar syrups, but with access to sap syrup and grain malt, I'm not sure why you would be desperate enough to do that.

So what does food look like in Fallout?

If there's one thing I know about humans, it's that humans like to eat. Food is culture, as much as culture and community is built around food. Good food and access to it is paramount to human happiness. All this to say is that food in fallout is whatever you want it to look like.

I can extrapolate and theorize all day long based on what Fallout tells us definitively, but I'm not going to tell you what the culinary landscape in the wasteland looks like. The only point that I will stress is that humans are really, really good at making things appetizing.

The fandom is already so creative when it comes to developing their idea of what food means in the wasteland. It's what's directly inspired me to write up this stupid, long ass post about farming and agriculture.

Obviously this is not a comprehensive list of all the base ingredients you can find in Fallout. I picked the ones I did because of the potential for consistent farming. Wastelanders have had two centuries to develop agricultural practices based around subsistence farming. I am not a subsistence farmer, and I have no idea how wasteland cottagecore would work at the heart of it. Running a farm is extremely labor intensive, and so much of your investment has to be immediately recouped in the form of eating what you harvest.

What a farm is likely to look like will start in the early spring when the ground begins to thaw, and a farmer can plant his cold resistant crops, like green vegetables and razorgrain. Potatos, carrots, and tatos will also weather the spring chill. When it starts to warm up, the more delicate plants like corn, beans, and squash or melons will get planted and tended to.

If your family is lucky enough to have a greenhouse, you can keep crops growing all through the winter and have a surplus for trade and barter, or just to preserve and refill the pantries.

A lot of the investment will have to be immediately recouped. Eggs from the chickens can't be preserved, obviously, but there will be meat from hunted animals, milk from the brahmin, probably an early harvest from the beans and tatos, and whatever else is in the pantry from the previous harvest.

Some of it will be canned or preserved in the forms of jams or jellies (just remember what I said about botulism). Meat from animals that get hunted can be smoked or otherwise preserved. Grain can be milled into flour or eaten whole and unshelled. Even the corn silk can be woven into clothes for the summer.

There really is no limit to what can be done in the end. While a lot of this information was taken from what we're given in the text, there's no rule that says you have to follow it word for word. If you believe something exists out there, then write it! We're all just making shit up as we go along anyway. If you need permission, then here it is. You can do whatever you want. Make up recipes! Go insane. Follow whatever your little foodie heart desires.

#fallout #kal talks #fallout 4 #fallout new vegas #fnv #fallout 3 #fallout meta #fallout food #fallout headcanons #behold. the agricultural masterpost of my farming headcanons #here she is

[twisted-wonderland-shenanigans]

Hello! I've never sent an ask to anyone before, so I don't know if I'm doing this correctly! But I seriously love your aus, so I just had to try <3

For your monster!au, do you think that there is a difference in the kinds of food they eat between monsters and humans? The kinds of food, seasoning, preparation, how it's cooked, even the degree to which something is cooked. Especially with how you mention in another post about how some species can't eat certain foods.

Like, does Yuu (female pronouns please! Or gender neutral if you prefer) come to their world and have to figure out how to cook with ingredients she's never seen before, or does Yuu just start to cook things in ways the monster bois have never seen or thought of before? Would the boys enjoy it? Would it be safe for them?

Or do you think there wouldn't be much of a difference?

Also, out of curiosity, which species would you say has the most diverse diet?

I seriously love your page! Keep up the amazing work! Stay safe and stay healthy!💙💚😃

Thank you for sending in an ask! You did it correctly, don’t worry c: And thank you so much! I’m glad you love the AUs so much to send something in! ;;v;;

To a degree, the food being cooked in the Monster!AU would be different depending on the species. I know I’ve pretty much beaten the grape incident into grape juice already, but while some may be okay with eating it, other students can’t due to it being toxic (I looked it up, and cranberry wine is a thing. That means Crewel can still enjoy a glass of wine, and it’s possible that the monsters/ghost chefs would use it in cooking instead of grape-based wines!). The same could be said for certain herbs and spices that we take for granted being something that can make them sick or can be just as toxic as grapes, like onions or garlic. Chocolate can still be a thing for some species, but carob is the main alternative that’s available—which means Yuu will still have access to it at least!

There’s also an extra sensitivity to citrus based scents. Using citrus juice to cook something like ceviche for example would be difficult, as not many can even get past the smell even if the taste itself is amazing. Funny enough, there’s actually this one manga I came across called “His Majesty the Demon King’s Housekeeper” that actually touches up on this fact as citric acid is one of the few ways to clean certain stains off surfaces, but most of the cleaning staff in the mansion couldn’t stand the smell of the orange peels until it was turned into a powder form by the demon king. It’s such a cute manga, and has lots of helpful tips too, so it’s a win-win!

If you can’t tell by now, Slice-of-Life manga and stories are my jam. I love when they touch up on things that we don’t normally think about and put a spin on things! >v<

Anyway, as you can imagine, if (and that’s a major IF) we were strictly to focus on the ingredients we know in our world, recipes would have to be tailored to be suitable to each species to avoid causing issues while ensuring that each student has the right nutrients needed to sustain their bodies. This would have resulted in having to find alternatives that are safe for students to enjoy while still being able to ensure safety to avoid severe allergic or otherwise dangerous reactions to having something they shouldn’t.

That would be one helluva menu to try to cater to when you can’t use certain seasonings to flavor things. Good thing Crowley has those ghost chefs to work with the menu, because I certainly couldn’t fathom the mental gymnastics of creating that kind of menu! @.@

But to put it in perspective, it’s like trying to give chocolate to a cat or dog when we have alternatives such as carob as I mentioned earlier. Or how people who are lactose intolerant have almond or oat milk or even goat milk as an alternative, or how there are gluten-free alternatives for those who can’t have it due to celiac disease. Just to name a few examples anyway, since I know there are people out there who have restrictive diets due to health reasons.

Thankfully, these guys aren’t entirely missing out on flavor since in Twisted Wonderland—much like how they have unique flowers and plants such as mandrakes right around the corner—I’m sure there’s no limit to the types of ingredients that can be used to cook with! In fact, I’m reminded of this manga that I’ve stumbled across that I gotta start from the beginning known as “Delicious in Dungeon”. Basically, it’s where the characters are traveling in a dungeon and they not only find monsters and creatures to hunt and eat (not like there’s a grocery store or market inside a dungeon), but also demonstrate how to prepare and cook using the ingredients found in the dungeon as well as the creatures themselves. It just looks so delicious whenever they show the results and what you can do with the extra stuff you can’t eat!

But I digress. ^v^;

This means that Yuu will have lots of new ingredients to try and explore in various dishes, and this also means new opportunities to learn new recipes! Imagine what you’d be able to learn during the Master Chef event too!

So…what happens when you have a female human who has excellent taste buds and a love of cooking and also loves to cook for others? You’ve got a whirlwind of ingredients flying around and waves of delicious smells wafting through the air leading many drooling students investigating the source (and trying to sneak a bite).

Iron-stomach gourmet Grim is the one who gets to enjoy Yuu’s experimental cooking at first. After all, why shouldn’t he be able to enjoy the spoils of his hench-human cooking for him? He’ll try guiding her with his knowledge of flavors and what tastes good, and she learns which seasonings to use for each dish whenever she talks to Trey or Jamil or even Azul. His bragging of being the first to try true human cuisine wound up drawing in the first years, many curious to see her in action while others hoped to try and sneak in a free meal.

Imagine if she cooked two-three meals a day: mini waffles and giant pancakes that are several inches thick? She’s adding various fruits and berries and pairing it with the perfect syrup! Homemade chicken or beef soup? Simmering with noodles boiled to perfection! Roasted pork and beef stew? Veggie stir-fry? Baked fish? Burgers? Pizza??? Nothing is off the table when Yuu is in the kitchen! And don’t get started on the different desserts she could whip up with Trey!

Soon enough, word would have spread around the school about the human’s delicious cooking and it won’t be long before Yuu has visitors around every meal time.

/////

Yuu:*whisking eggs as the rice cooks* “Breakfast’s almost ready, Grim!”

Grim: “Hooray! Omurice cooked human-style~!”

Knock-knock-knock!

Yuu: “Come in!” *pouring the egg into two skillets before looking up* “Oh, hey guys!”

Ace: “Hey, Yuu! Whatcha making?”

Yuu: “I’m making omurice. I asked the chefs in the cafeteria how to make it and…wait…” *narrows eyes* “Did you guys come here just to get breakfast?”

Deuce: *sheepish* “Sorry, Yuu…we just really like the way you cook.”

Yuu: *sighs and smiles* “It’s okay. Next time, just let me know ahead of time so I can prepare more, okay?”

Grim: “Don’t even think of taking my portion!”

Ace: “Aww, is that any way to treat guests, Yuu?”

Yuu: “Grim, be nice.”

Grim: “What?! That’s not fair!”

Deuce: “I can wait my turn. Is there anything I can do to help?”

Yuu: “Could you chop up some more veggies and measure out the rice? Ace and Grim can have the first two, then we’ll have the next batch.”

Grim: “Stop encouraging them!”

Ace: “Oi! As if you don’t eat the food at the Unbirthday Parties!”

Grim: “Oh yeah?! Well I-mfh!?”

Ace: “Mfhg!?”

Yuu: *dusts hands after shoving two meat buns into their mouths* “There will be no fighting in my kitchen, you hear me?”

Ace and Grim: “Yeth m’m…”

/The Next Day/

Yuu: *standing in the doorway with a bowl of pancake batter* “…are you here to socialize or do you want to try some of my cooking?”

Silver: “Fa-I mean, Lilia…decided to cook breakfast today. He wanted to try and cook some old human recipes, but…”

Sebek: *looking mildly nauseous* “I did what I could to protect Lord Malleus, but…human food should not look like that.”

Yuu: “Ah, okay. Come on in. I’ll get another batch ready, so help yourself to the ones on the table! There’s fresh fruit and whipped cream there too.”

/////

I have a feeling that Yuu would be getting a lot of visitors from Diasomnia on days that Lilia does the cooking, and I’m sure she’ll be more than happy to feed them too! 😌

As for the “food bribes”…well, it’s kinda hard to argue with the results. Especially when they can be very valid trades. Yuu wants a specific utensil to make that special treat or meal? You’ll get first dibs on the finished dish!

Oh no, Yuu needs help with this potionology assignment and made too many cupcakes to eat by herself! If only someone could come and help with both…

As you said, there are many possibilities of how Chef!Yuu could take advantage of their knowledge and skill around the kitchen! And before I forget, if I had to choose which species would have the most diverse diet…I would have to say it’s a tossup between the basilisks and the faun and satyr species. Basilisk can essentially eat nearly anything without much issue as their stomach acid is strong enough to even digest rocks and crystals, whereas faun and satyr can eat most any plant and fruit or vegetable imaginable and can tolerate some forms of meat without issue. Though if you really want to enhance the dietary variety possibilities, Epel and Trey would have this in the bag as these two are hybrids of two different species, making them truly omnivorous like humans!

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland monster au #twst monster au #ace trappola #deuce spade #sebek zigvolt #twisted wonderland silver #twisted wonderland grim #twisted wonderland yuu #twst yuu #fem!yuu

[720am]

M A S T E R L I S T

for losing as much as possible in a short amount of time (cuz we are all desperate), from me - a biotechnologist, who relapsed (the demons never leave)

the tips i am about to share with all my girliepops are all based on science and work; if you have any other tips, feel free to share in the comments, so we can have all the tips in one place!

• eat your meals from smaller sized plates, to trick your brain you are eating more

• cut up your food into small pieces

• chew every bite at least 10-15 times, until it is a purée consistency; this way you will be eating slower and give your brain more time to realise you are full

• sip water with a lemon slice between your bites

• focus on eating vegetables and protein, limit carbs

• drink a lot of water, and I mean a lot

• add lemon slices to your water to make it have some flavour; also the lemon juice in water before your meals will help reduce the glucose spike => less insulin released from liver => less absorbed glucose from carbs/sugars/starches => less fat on your body

• move for 10 mins right after eating - walk, do calf raises, some light movement so all the glucose can be used before getting stored as fat on your body

• drink tea - green tea, detox tea, whatever tea, without a sweetener

• do not drink diet sodas/colas - or any kind of liquid that is not water/tea - these are useless calories, why would you do that to yourselves?! even if it says 0 cals - this s#it is so bad for you, and the carbonation makes you feel bloated like a god damn whale! ditch the diet sodas girliepops

• implement some kind of movement every day - walking, pilates, yoga, dance workouts, resistance bands workouts or stretching

• do not weigh yourself everyday - due to hormones our weigh fluctuates every day and this will just make you feel bad if you lose and gain 1-2 legs everyday depending on your menstrual cycle, water weight and so on.. weigh yourself every 2 weeks.

• do not drink fruit juice - this is such a scam; hear me out: how many oranges does it take to make 1 glass of orange juice? around 3. can you eat three whole oranges in one sitting? i bet no. then why would you drink 3 oranges? when you make fruit juice, all the fibre and the pulp is removed, leaving you with just the juice with all the sugar in it (in the form of glucose and fructose) so you are basically drinking pure sugar, which turns into fat… just eat your damned fruit, instead of drinking a bunch of empty calories

• take red cranberry supplements - they are usually taken for UTIs, but the red cranberry has diuretic effect, and will make you pee your water weight out; please do not take more than 2 pills and remember to drink plenty of water so you don’t damage your kidneys!!!!

• take probiotics - this will ensure your gut health stays good while restricting foods, so you don’t end up constipated and bloated

• i personally do not eat dairy products (i am lactose intolerant) - they are full of hormones from the cows, give you acne and inflammation, and the protein in it is not worth it considering the amount of fat these products have; skip the dairy if you can

• if you drink a lot of coffee, remember to drink plenty of water! coffee has a diuretic effect and if you are not drinking more water, it will make you retain whatever water is in your body, leading to water weight gain

• if you end up binging, do so mindfully - do not give in to all the food, just have a piece of chocolate, not the whole chocolate bar; have a piece of cake, not the whole cake; then get back on track and try to exercise as much as possible to burn the excess calories

• i think this is obvious but let me say it just in case - in order to lose weight, you have to be on a calorie deficit - meaning you burn/use more calories than you consume; but!! here is the trick - you have to maintain low calorie diet, do not ⭐️ve for more than 2 days, as this will f#ck up your metabolism - your body goes into fight or flight response, meaning everything you eat after f4sting will remain on your body as a reserve of food, in case you end up ⭐️ving again; so have your veggies and protein (chicken breasts, white fish)

• keep yourself busy so you don’t think about f0od - study, work, read books, journal, whatever it is, your day has to be full of activities do you can forget to e4t

• reject offered food - say you already ate / yr not hungry / you are allergic to some ingredient / you have a bad migraine and this will make it worse / or take the food and say you will have it later and just give it to someone else (pls don’t throw in trash, do not waste food)

• when eating with family / boyfriend - place food in a smaller plate, cut up food into very small pieces and eat very slowly and chew every bite for a long time, sip water between every few bites, then say you are full and cannot eat anymore / that you ate a bit earlier and yr full

• when eating, eat your veggies first, then your protein and eat the smallest amount of carbs - always leave leftover carbs in your plate

• do not eat any snacks - no cereal bars, no cereal, no chips, no crisps, no crackers, no salty sticks, just do not eat snacks!

• if you feel like eating - drink water first, then have veggies (cucumbers, carrots, tomatoes, radishes, etc) or fruit (apples, citrus, any kind of berries)

• if you are having breakfast - always eat a savoury breakfast - eggs, avocado, veggies etc; never eat a sweet breakfast - cereal, croissants, pancakes, etc, this will spike up your glucose levels and all that sugar will turn into fat; a sweet breakfast will make you feel tired and exhausted all day, leading you to eat more

• wear a waist trainer - do so for no more than 8hrs a day; this will also help you have smaller portions of food, as it won’t allow your stomach to expand

• do not purge - this is very bad for your teeth and overall health; the stomach acid is very strong and every time you purge, your teeth are getting damaged; just don’t overeat in the first place and have self control!

this is all i have for right now; if i think of anything else, i will add later / make another post; if you have anything to add to this list - go ahead and do so in the comments below

remember, stay safe xx

#@n@ tips #@n@ diary #@na rules #@na vent #@nor3×14 #@tw edd #@na help #@na t1ps #@n@ buddy #@na buddy #@na motivation #@nor3xia #@na meal #4n4t1ps #4n4blr #4n4tips #4n4rexia #4norexla #4narex1a #4n0rexic #tw 3d vent #3ating d1sorder #3d not sheeran #3d but not sheeren #4norexia #4n4 tips #4n4 t1ps #4nerex1a #🕯️as a feather #💡as a 🪶

[homeofhousechickens]

Id say its well known birds don't do well with lactose but the other nutrients in diary products are super useful for chickens. Historically, and even now it isn't uncommon for chickens to be given surplus dairy products/byproducts because the calcium and fat helps the hens gain more weight and lay better eggs.

Now historically they werent just giving straight milk to birds they were mixing it into their feed ration then feeding it. Milk fed broilers were even a delicacy back then because more people had access to their own dairy animals so the chickens got the dairy byproducts as well.

So basically I just want you to know that feeding some yogurt to your chickens as a treat isn't going to make them spontaneously combust and die, yeah they might have some stinky poos afterwards like some people do themselves after drinking milk but their are much worse things chickens are given that look healthy to people just because its green (grass clippings for example)

There is even some interesting studies that show milk feeding sick chickens can prevent and stop Coccidosis and Necrotic Enteritis which is like huge?? Especially if your an organic farm?

Chickens are domesticated animals and historically were usually fed similar to pigs, they were given the food waste we didn't want and they have evolved to be able to handle that.

Please keep in mind this post is specifically about chickens and not other poultry! I'm also not saying go milk feed your birds I'm just saying that a little dairy product based treat every now and again isn't a bad thing and in fact can be something you can use to help prevent food waste.

Things to keep in mind- Chickens who have dairy products mixed into their feed tend to consume more of that feed. This can be a great thing or a bad thing depending on how you feed and manage your birds. Fatty liver is something you want to watch out for when adding any high fat feed additives to your chickens diet. This is a modern problem for our modern birds since they are more feed efficient than ever.

#sorry i see people yelling at people feeding their birds yogurt way to much

[lesbianoms]

(CW: Cruel pred and neglect for prey's humanity, but digestion is still painless. Old draft I finally decided to share with y'all)

Pred/observer wlw couple with petplay dynamics~~ 🥵

The observer is a generous mistress. She keeps her pred pampered and submissive, leashed and collared. And she always sees to it there’s a steady diet of men to fatten her up.

Make no mistake, the observer loves the pred and isn’t just using the live feedings for her pleasure. She absolutely adores her pet and treats her like a princess, giving her belly rubs and kisses and spoiling her rotten.

The pred is madly in love too, and living the dream. Her hazy, hungry mind only knows bliss. Maybe she’s on the smaller side— or at least, she was on the smaller side. Now after churning up so many struggling meals, the weight of her lifestyle is evident, constantly bulging off her middle <3

Maybe she’s aware of what actually happens to the prey she eats, or maybe she’s not. Either way, her partner does all the hard work for them both, all the scheming and planning to lure unsuspecting male meals towards their gurgly fate.

A typical feeding night might go like this:

The observer flirts with a guy at a bar, acting like she’s interested in him. He may respond. As they engage with each other, she usually makes her decisions based on the vibes she gets from him. The chauvinists always taste better.

She takes him home, promising him the threesome he’s always wanted. He happily obliges and has most of his clothes off by the time they reach the bedroom. The pred— who, depending on the night, was either in the middle of a nap or nursing a hungry, empty tummy— sees the observer enter and her eyes light up excitedly.

And what’s this? Her mistress has returned with a delicious looking treat~

“Here pet, I brought you supper,” the observer tells her with a sweet yet mischievous grin.

The man is confused. He’s about to ask what she means… but before he knows it he’s already been pushed to the ground, the wind knocked out of him, and a drooling girl on top of him.

Compared to her prey, the pred doesn’t look threatening— not even taller than him, not strong physically— but the minute her instincts take over, it’s the end for him…

The observer watches in delight as her pred-pet devours the screaming man whole, watches as he slips down her throat and fills out her gut, rounding out her empty stomach. She’s all ready with the praises as her pred manages the final swallow. His cries for help get lost inside of her, and now he’s sealed away inside of her greedy belly… walls squeezing in, acids bubbling…

“Good girl~!” The observer cooes, pleased that her pred managed to get yet another victim to go down so easily. “Good puppy!!”

The pred tried to sit back up but she’s completely overwhelmed by the sensations of her living meal inside her. She wriggles on the carpet, whimpering in pure pleasure, weighed down by her hefty gut. Feeling every frantic movement of her prey as he struggles inside of her, desperate to escape. All that he manages to do is muster up a burp from the mouth of his pred as she pants and drools like a satisfied dog.

Her mistress’s words snap her back to attention. “Come here, sweetie, I’ll help your food settle down~”

Loyally, obediently, the pred pads over on all fours with enthusiastic steps, her belly hanging low to the ground. She rolls over onto the bed and purrs as the observer begins to stroke her huge stomach…

“He’s a feisty one,” the observer hums, admiring the futile squirming of the prey. “But don’t worry, honey, he's no match for your hungry tummy~”

The pred stares up at her owner with hearts in her eyes, as the observer traces small shapes over her belly. At this point, both women are aware of how active it is, gurgling and growling and setting to work on the man inside. His protests are muffled by the thick, churning walls. Not that either of them would listen anyways.

“You have a noisy belly, pet,” the observer murmurs, giving the overstuffed organ a firm pat. It groans in response as it twitches under her touch.

“T-thank you... mistress...!” the pred gasps between moans, blushing.

The observer lowers herself onto the pred and starts kissing the swell of her stomach.

“I love it when you get all plump like this,” she continues. “You’re so pretty when you’re stuffed with men…”

“Huff... I can feel him-” the pred whines. Before she can form a coherent thought, a meaty belch makes its way up from the burbling, slimy chamber below.

*BWOOOOOURRRRPPP!!*

She feels her dinner thrash around in response, and she squeals and squirts all over the bedsheets, mumbling incoherently as she’s overstimulated by the sudden surge of movement in her belly.

“Oh, my good girl. You really like feeling him in there, don’t you, princess?” Her mistress teases. “Yes... you love destroying those pigs with your belly…”

The pred can only make animalistic sounds of pleasure, mewling as her owner holds her close and fondles her belly.

The observer can’t keep her hands away, caressing every rounded inch, every bit of its softening surface. She’s kissing her pet’s pretty lips, fingers buried in her hair. The two of them are extremely aroused, growing wet, rubbing their bodies together…

And after they come together, they lay back in their orgasmic bliss, holding each other like they’re all that remains in the world.

“My sweet, gluttonous puppy,” the observer trills, staring into her pet’s big, beautiful eyes. “My little man-eater.”

The rest of the night is soft. The observer coos to the pred how much she loves her, what a precious thing she is… all while her food kicks and struggles weakly, his quiet pleas for mercy competing to be heard over the erotic sounds of digestion.

After her prey stops moving, the look in the pred’s eyes glazes over and she clings to the observer, nuzzling against her like a large cat. They make love to each other while what’s left of the man sloshes around in the pred’s belly, eventually slipping deeper into her guts, pumping through her intestines…

#v.ore #v0re #soft vore #vore talk #vore writing #female pred #male prey #unwilling prey #observer vore #pred x observer #digestion #fatal vore #painless digestion #I mean... all my digestion is painless #just thought id tag it though since this is a meaner scenario #vore scenario #vore kink #minors dni #I wrote this a while ago when I was feeling pretty vorny lmao

[lustrousbratz]

How do I truly become a pink Pilates princess on a budget?

Pink Pilates Princess 101

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

When I think of a pink pilates princess, I think of a girly person that romanticized their life in terms of wellness! a lot of people find the phrase annoying but i think it’s fun and cute! Here’s some things you can do to feel more like a pink pilates princess 💞

pic credit: all 3 pics from me posted on my pinterest @ nallyssajones

1. Doing pilates!

There’s mat pilates (only need a mat) and reformer pilates (using a reformer machine). Going to classes multiple times a week can be a tad expensive, so an alternative would be:

A) Signing up for paid subscriptions that have detailed classes for e.g; Alo moves, Pilates anytime, glo etc.

B) Following videos from youtubers that do mat pilates. My fave channels are; Move with Nicole, Sanne Vloet, Dansique fitness (she mostly does hitt pilates videos)

* Yoga is another amazing way to get movement in and feel connected to your body and spirit.

* Go on a hot girl walk! Going on mini walks around your neighborhood or even your house allows you to get some steps in daily.

2. Eating well!

pic credit: my pics posted on my pinterest @nallyssajones

This is different for everyone but here are some ideas that you can add to your diet;

- Drinking green juice

- Try out yogurt bowls! It's my favourite breakfast food because it's easy to make and can be very nutritious depending on what I put into it. I like to add greek yogurt, a nice granola, matcha powder, frozen and fresh berries, pomegranate, ground flax and almonds🫐🍓

- Increasing protein intake. A lot of people have tried to eat 1 g per each lb that they weigh daily and have felt really good. My fellow anemic girlies, please increase your protein intake if you can!

- Taking your vitamins/supplements! get a blood test done to see what you’re deficient in and research supplements that might be helpful for you personally.

3. Finding cute workout+lounge sets

(pic credit: from @ lyssithadoll on ig and twitter)

Working out and going out in cute loungewear and workout sets can make you feel really nice and girly! I like to thrift nice quality brands like lululemon or even purchase specific pieces from depop and poshmark! Amazon is a good place to find sets as well but I would recommend buying high quality secondhand pieces💞 Some good brands to look out for are lululemon, alo yoga, halara and girlfriend collective.

4. Get cute exercise equipment

pic credit: my picture posted on my pinterest and ig @ nallyssajones

Get pink workout equipment if you’d like! Marshalls, dollarama, and amazon sell workout equipment that you can get for $5-$20! I got the pink fila mat in the pic above from marshalls for $19.99:) Here are some equipment ideas:

- yoga mat

- yoga strap

- wrist/ankle weights

- 5 lbs dumbbells

- gym bag

*these things aren’t needed btw! just ideas if you’d like to have more equipment.

5. Practice self care

You can do whatever self care that you'd like but here are some examples that you can incorporate into your life:

- Take a relaxing bath (the book "ritual baths" has amazing bath ideas

- Engage in your favourite hobbies (sports, reading, watching a tv show etc.)

- Spend time with your loved ones

- Take care of your skin and have a routine down. You do not need 15 products but even adding a serum or a spot treatment to your routine can improve your skin!

***************************************************************************************************

I hope that you liked this post! This is all for fun and anyone can be a pink pilates princess 🧚🏾💞

#my pictures #my post #pink pilates princess #answered #girly girl #self care #wellness #prettygirlmission #my blog post #pink text

[gallusrostromegalus]

Hey! Are there any plants you can recommend for an apartment garden intended to produce food? This is my first apartment after living in the country my whole life, and food is very expensive, so I want to plant a little pot garden, but I'd love some suggestions on what to put in it because I have no experience for growing in such limited space. What do you think would be best for producing food, but also looking nice and not needing much space?

Plants that you can grow in a pot that will produce a lot of filler-food really fast (like, you can start harvesting within 2-3 weeks of sprouting [though I'd really reccomend starts/baby plants and not seeds this late in summer]): Lettuce, kale, swiss chard, brocolini, broccoli, PEAS, Green Beans, radishes, zucchini and other summer squash. Use these to fill in meals/stretch out protiens/feel fuller/get more fiber in your diet. Not a lot of calories but the fiber and vitamins they have are good for you.

Plants you can grow in a pot that will produce a lot of flavors for you: Basil, thyme, rosemary, Parsley, sage, oregano, mint, marojam, bay laurel, and Dill. Nearly every fresh herb can be grown in a pot and while they don't make a lot of filler or calories, they do make what food you have taste a whole lot better.

Plants you can grow in a pot that take a lot longer to mature but will produce a TON of food all at once that can be frozen for later: Patio Tomatoes, winter squash, strawberries, carrots, POTATOES, garlic, onions, beets, beans you dry out for later like pinto and black beans. This will require storage space in your freezer or a cool dark place like a closet.

Not a Plant, but you can get grow kits and get a shitload of them really fast and grow them indoors: Mushrooms. Those mushroom kits WORK and will keep producing for a suprisngly long time.

CAVEATS:

I think all plants are pretty but I can't speak to what your apartment complex will or will not allow.

I also find tending the garden very relaxing so I think all plants are low-effort so don't take my word on what a normal amount of work is.

A lot of what you CAN grow will depend on how much sunlight and space you have, and how much soil you're willing/able to schlep up there, so you'd have to send me more precise specs on your space to get specific advice on what to plant, but think about A) what you'll actually eat B) look up the sunlight and space requirements of those crops C) look into as many vertical growing options as possible tbh. Peas will grow on any trellis even just some sticks or string, herbs can be wall-mounted, and other plants can pe put in pots on risers to get as many plants into the sunlight you have.

If food stability is a concern for you PLEASE look up the location, hours and requirements of your local food bank. It's there for everyone who needs it, including you.

You can also see if your city has a crop share program where you can get produce from local/nearby farmers at a big discount compared to the store. goo for you, your wallet AND the enviornment.

#Tomato advice blog #apartment gardening won't bring you to self-sufficiency #but it CAN help a lot with your nutrition and budget

[faded-euphoria]

if you would be so willing to give me some Graves headcanons? PLEASE🫴

HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA plz i live him and yes he will be a good boy in this

sfw/ lots of food hcs also i have more so lemme know if you want more

Phillip Graves Casual Headcanons

He like having his chin scratched

IM NOT SORRY FOR THAT BUT HE DOES

i'm pretty sure this guy is late 30's but stressed as shit so he looks a little older

hes a god on the grill but if you ask him to boil pasta you're house will be on fire

he gets mad when his favorite football team doesn't win and yes it would be alabama

he sounds like he's from South Virgina/Northern Tennessee

he never lived on a farm but he had so many friends that did back in high school

definitely has mommy issues

would be supportive of lgbtqia+ but would 100% not get it

he'd try so hard to remember to use preferred pronouns but he'd fuck up and apologize profusely

knows every single shadow company member

blames himself for every single person that dies on all the missions he's been on

loves those Payday peanut bars

he drinks Diet Coke and Coke Zero

his favorite food is a big ass greasy hamburger with pickles, lettuce, tomato, mayo, mustard, cheese, ketchup, and onion rings on it with fries on the side

He's lowkey republican with a seasoning of democrat

he hates chicken nuggets but loves alligator nuggets even though they're literally exactly the same thing

will eat deep fried pickles

his favorite color is tan

he wears flesh colored shirts and khaki shorts or button ups and blue jeans depending on the weather

knows how to ride a horse better than george washington

he washes his ass but not his legs

will go weeks not shaving his beard and then he'll feel gross and shave

sneezes like theres a megaphone attached to his nose

if he's sick he acts like he's on his deathbed

listens to old taylor swift music and know all the lyrics to White Horse.

#phillip graves #graves x reader #graves mw2 #cod mwii #mw2 xreader #mw2 x reader #mw2 headcanons #mw2 hcs

[spookymultimedia]

Do you have any headcanons 4 cartman's pets? :3

Oh I absolutely do!! :D (very very long)

(CW mentions of pet death/loss)

Cartman got Mr.Kitty as a pet when he saw her outside at 4 years old. He chased the cat and physically dragged her inside, which prompted her to freak out in the house. Then Cartman fed her cake and begged pretty please with a cherry on top to keep the kitty. Liane has no choice in the matter really so of course they kept the cat. They didn't give her shots or neuter her, they just gave her a bath and fed her cat food and called it a day.

Cartman got Fluffy from the County Fair from winning a pie eating contest. Liane was shocked to see Cartman with yet another animal he wanted to keep. And she can't say no, so Fluffy came home with them. Funny enough she was actually easier to take care of than the cat. They usually fed her scraps. She had a pretty good diet of food that Cartman was supposed to eat but he gave it to her and pretended to eat his veggies so he could have dessert please. He taught Fluffy a couple of tricks like spinning and sitting on command. He even claimed he was gonna take her to the fair just like Wilbur in that Charlottes Web movie. Fun fact for years Cartman was convinced Wilbur was a girl and hated when people corrected him because he's used to thinking about the character a certain way and didn't feel like changing how he watched it.

He loved fluffy to bits but she died due to hereditary health problems. Instead of telling Cartman the piggy was dead she just fell in love with a daddy pig and ran away with him to have sex and babies. Cartman resents Fluffy for being such a whore and leaving him behind. He still cried in bed about it for a couple nights though.

Once Cartman tried to keep a pet frog. On wet mornings when frogs huddled around all the puddles, he and the other 3 tried to catch frogs. All of the frogs they caught always went missing every time they tried, so eventually they just gave up and moved onto something else.

Once Gerald snatched up Mr.Kitty and took her away by force while Cartman was screaming and crying at him to let her go. Later he claimed she wasn't vaccinated so she was dangerous to be around Cartman, but he was also using her for cheesing. Later Kyle helped Cartman steal his cat back and Liane promised they would give the cats shots and gave her neutered. After that Gerald left their cat alone.

When they got Mr.Kitty neutered they discovered that she's is actually intersex. Cartman was extremely extremely happy to have a pet who's just like him. Well not exactly like him but still.

For years he depended on Mr.Kitty to get him through his audio hallucinations and grounding himself. If she didn't wake up then no one is at the door trying to harm him and it's just his head being weird. Petting her is very therapeutic for him and calms him down when he's experiencing big scary emotions. He also liked letting her in his bed so she can be there if he gets a nightmare.

During middle school his cat went missing and he was extremely upset about it. He kept accusing that his girlfriend Heidi is responsible for the cat going missing. The longer she was missing the more he accused Heidi of lying to him, hurting his cat because she resents him and she's an awful person. For two whole weeks Butters helped Cartman search for his cat. His friends also helped but Butters helped the most. One night while he was driving home without Mr.Kitty yet again and realized he's never going to see his cat ever again. He broke into tears while Butters and Stan comforted him. Later Heidi finds him grieving his cat and she tells him he forgives him for getting upset at her and understands he was just stressed and didn't mean it. Cartman didn't apologize at all and let her hug and console him.

After that Cartman didn't own a pet for several several years. When he was in his late 40s and the most depressed he had ever been in his life, his therapist suggested owning a cat to give him a routine to have and help him cope with loneliness. So he adopted a cat and it worked. After awhile he ended up with 9 cats in his house, but then he got his shit together and gave away the ones that had bad relationships with the other cats or didn't enjoy being in his house. Then he was left with four cats. Which was a pretty big improvement but still makes normal people gawk at him. And he kept those cats for a long long time. I haven't thought much about the other three, but I know one of the cats is a three legged cat named Zipper. He was born like that. He's the fastest of the four cats and the most friendly one.

After Cartman passed away from cancer in his early 60s Kyle and Stan the two cats Cartman still had. The cats where very comforting for Kyle since he had a harder time coping with his the loss.

And not a pet headcannon technically but Kyle had a habit of putting cat food and cat nip near Cartman's gave to "keep him company." People give Kyle weird looks when he brings cat food to a graveyard but it makes him happy so he doesn't care.

#south park #south park headcanons #eric cartman #liane cartman #kyle broflovski #heidi turner #butters stotch #stan marsh #styleman #kyman