#probs his first selfless act on the show

[bellamysgriffin]

Dana Watches Gilmore Girls: Luke Can See Her Face (4x20)

#lukedanesedit #jessmarianoedit #ggedit #gilmoregirlsedit #jess x luke #jess mariano #luke danes #gilmore girls #* #dwgg* #i feel like this is the beginning of jess' redemption arc <3 #the moment i saw him let go of his selfishness and do something for luke #for the first time in his life #probs his first selfless act on the show #i knew that he was gonna be okay <3

[karingu]

Chapter 474 made me want InuKag to break up (temporarily)

There's something that always bothered me about this chapter, but I finally have the words to explain what it is. (This is the one with Kaou, the weird sadness eating demon that made Inuyasha have a dream of Kikyo and cry blood and stuff.)

Sigh. I don't agree with how the ending of this chapter was written (sorry, Rumiko). It made me, an InuKagger, feel devastatingly frustrated about InuKag's relationship for the first time... specifically for Kagome's dignity.

Okay, so Inuyasha's thoughts basically got blasted on speakerphone in the previous Ch:

UM, HI? Kagome is RIGHT FUCKIN' THERE. God, at that point, for Kagome's sake, I had had enough of it. I love InuKag, but in this moment, I don't give a frank fuck what Inuyasha has done to prove he loves Kagome, or what he truly thinks — for Kagome to hear that is so. damn. hurtful. And you know those words had hurt her: they echoed in her mind in a later panel. And she cried.

Up until now, Inuyasha had been reaping the benefits of Kagome's patience. But Kagome is HURTING as much as he is, and she keeps choosing not to show him that side of her because she feels sorry for him… GAH!

KAGOME, I LOVE YOU!!! BUT CAN WE? NOT SPOIL INUYASHA TOO MUCH? PLS...

+

I don’t mind that it took a villain like Kaou for Inuyasha to find out how much Kagome was hurting because of him. Pretty gnarly. However, I'm upset that Kagome herself didn’t fully admit to Inuyasha how hurt she got. And she shut up Kaou before he could say that the "cause of her pain"... was Inuyasha.

I get it — her reasons were personal. But I cannot express how FREAKIN' disappointed I still was about that. Let Inuyasha find out, DAMN IT!!!

I know; Kikyo had just passed on. Kagome was trying to be considerate, and Inuyasha's guilt toward Kikyo was probably made raw again — so I'm not faulting him for his feelings at all. Truly, I understand he's having hard time. AT THE SAME TIME, REALISTICALLY SPEAKING, it is clear it was not healthy for him to be in a relationship with Kagome at that point. And likewise for Kagome.

I wanted Kagome to stand up for herself. When Inuyasha told her that he dreamed of Kikyo, I wanted her to tell him something like, "Hey, I know she's on your mind, and that's okay, really, but... I just don't think I can endure it right now."

How would Inuyasha react to that? He’d probably be disquieted, but I think he’d try to accept it.

Yes, I guess it could come off as "selfish," because Inuyasha is grieving and having a hard time. But look... Kagome is hurt. She had been withstanding it all this time... she had been selfless enough. It is not selfish; it’s an act of self-love. She is her own person, no? She's entitled to look out for herself too, regardless of the circumstances.

Strength is also knowing when to retreat.

Instead of this chapter ending on a jokey note, I truly wanted Kagome to put a pause on their relationship. Have a lil’ time-out. Let Inuyasha grieve for Kikyo properly. Let Kagome be free to feel whatever it is for herself, with no strings attached.

Then, they can reconcile later when they're both at a better place.

From a writer's standpoint, WOOWEE that would've been a great cliffhanger. Tune in next week! LOL (Ok tbh Inuyasha prob wouldn’t last more than 3 days or something before he wants to get back with Kagome LMAO… but at least he knows how Kagome truly feels.)

No matter how much I love InuKag, I recognize a bad situation when I see one. I really... wanted Takahashi to make Kagome take a stand for her own well being. Just this once. JUST THIS DAMN ONCE.

It may seem important to put others first… but man, give yourself some love, too, Kagome.

Sorry… maybe I’m getting too carried away. (I’m seeing too much of my past self in her here.) And who knows? Maybe Takahashi didn’t have time for them to break up, or did this to show that Kagome, still a teenager, doesn’t always make perfect decisions. At any rate, I think Kagome's weakness is being too understanding sometimes :(

#kagome #kagome higurashi #inuyasha #inukag #inuyasha x kagome #kagome x inuyasha #inuyasha anime #inuyasha manga #my:posts #my:inumeta

[saikos-pleb]

hi let me just •falls in love with your blog•

i have another request! could i get saiki, aren, metori, hairo and shun with an s/o who’s famous? s/o is a popular idol who’s been famous all their life (like they were a child actor) and got tired of media presence so they decided to go to PK academy and do events during their school breaks, however because of their fame they’re treated kinda like teruhashi (but they’re not like teruhashi like they don’t pretend to be as nice as they act ig).

thanks <3

them with famous s/o’s

saiki, kuboyasu, saiko, hairo, kaidou

gender not mentioned

notes: idols are my specialty (i’m a huge kpop fan) so this will (hopefully) be easy for me. and thank you for requesting again !! :D

saiki

- since your an idol there is a lot of attention towards you

- kusuo hates attention

- so you guys’s relationship is secret

- like very secret

- like y’all barley even look at each other at school secret

- he has no interests in the idol world at all so the fact you’re an idol has 0 affect on him

- minus the intense annoyance he gets when groups of people (mostly guys) chase you around the school

- you know how teruhashi has the fan club? you have one too

- kusuo may or may not make the whole group trip while they’re following you a few times

- oops

- when you have events at the school he always goes

- even though you guys are a secret he still wants to support you (“:

- you catch him secretly listening to your music every so often

kuboyasu

- he was actually a fan of you before you guys started dating (he still is a fan but yk what i mean)

- your relationship is not a secret at all, he loves showing you off

- holding your hand in the hallway >

- yelling at your fan club anytime they cross any boundaries

- almost physically fighting the president of your fan club because he took the gum you spit out in the trash

- you pulled him by his ear to an empty bathroom

- took you 2 hours to completely calm him down

- because you normally hang out with aren and friends (nendo kaidou saiki etc) there is always a lot of attention around you guys (saiki normally tries to leave when you’re around though)

- during your events aren is your cheerleader

- no literally he is

- he has pompoms

saiko

*pretend he didn’t come to pk for teruhashi*

- he literally came to the school for you

- and you hated him at first

- he was too stuck up for your taste

- but he eventually chilled out and now y’all are publicly dating

- he originally wanted to be with you because of the fact you were also rich, and famous

- but after genuinely getting to know you he actually fell in love (“:

- fuck your fanboys he’s your number one fan

- has all your albums x 100

- has every photocard that comes in your album x100

- literally has a wall in his room dedicated to you and your merch & albums

- kinda creepy but i mean it’s cute to you so (“:

- he’s the one who pays for your events

- gets you backup dancers, customers. you name it he’s gonna get it.

hairo

- y’know how motivated and energetic he is?

- take that x1000 and that’s how he is about you

- yalls relationship is obviously public (if it wasn’t public he’d prob burst)

- he brags about you all the time

- but not about the way you’re famous

- about how talented and sweet and selfless you are

- if anyone talks shit about you or your music he will give them a talk that turns them into your fans

- yw

- when you have events he helps set up, and is always in the front row screaming, singing and dancing along to your music

- 100000000/10 very supportive

kaidou

- before you guys started dating he was a secret fan

- he would be like “yeah i don’t really see the hype” but then go home, buy all your albums and start fan wars on twitter

- the day you guys started dating you came up to him, to ask why he doesn’t like you.

- a lot of people didnt like you but you liked shun and you wanted him to like you too

- oh my god he was embarrassed

- “n-no i a-a-actually r-really l-like y-your music”

- for his safety you guys chose to keep your relationship private

- by private i mean the whole friend group but nendo knew (for obvious reasons)

- for your events he would be about in the middle and have a sign that says your name

- happy relationship

#anime #saiki x reader #the disaster of psi kusuo saiki #saiki k #saiki #idol #metori saiko #saiko x reader #kaidou #kaidou x reader #aren kuboyasu #aren kuboyasu x reader #hairo x reader #the disasterous life of saiki k

[hanjifuck]

.˚｡⋆ ༊ .˚｡⋆ how would stray kids members comfort you .˚｡⋆ ༊ .˚｡⋆

based on their birth charts! s2

✧*:.｡. t/n: kinda proofread. for some reason tumblr edited this like my fucking face, so it looks ugly af but i'll try to fix it. <3

this post will be based off astrology + love language types.

bang chan ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ

love language: gift giving/quality time

channie's moon is ruled by venus and libra moons love all them pretty things. receiving and giving gifts to him is away to show love. please remember that gift-giving comes from an emotional space but he def has an eye for beautiful things. what actually matters is if the gift comes from his heart. he likes to give you those tangible reminders that he's always thinking about you and just value enough to see a little bit of you in almost anything he sees during the day. there's nothing superficial about someone going out of their way to pick out something for you. <3

libra's also high sociable sign, he LOVES to be with others all the time and spending a good time with you would be everything to him.

you guys fought and he wants to apologize and make you feel better? will buy into all those classic stuff like roses and chocolate.

he has an air sign moon so it's not easy to express his feelings or even understand them, so sometimes his gifts will speak clearer about what he wants to say.

lee know ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ

love language: physical touch

he puts on a tough front but don't get it twisted, he's an angel. do you guys remember when hannie touched his hands during one of the avaliations of the reality show and he got all happy, even saying jisung gave him strenght trought that? yeppp! felix and jisung involving him in hugs and him not saying a word about it? yep!

he can try to hide but he's actually super cuddly. OKAY maybe not at first but when you get to know him? touching is a way for him to show and be shown love.

physical touch makes you feel safe and attached to the ones who cared for you. he needs to feel closeness and there's no way better to feel that than physical affect.

he would prob caress you while you talk it out.

changbin ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ

love language: acts of service/quality time

he's not the best at providing comfort, it can be a little tricky for him. he would want to nurture you and spend time with you. he is a nurturer by nature and would show you love and support doing things for you that usually you have a hard time doing it. he's action-orienteded.

he's a cancer moon, so you can expect a lot of complicity during your relationship. he wants to create a space where both of you can simply drawn into eachother and have a safe space when it's hard.

he would do anything for his loved ones. he goes out of his way just to show he cares for you. he wants to take care and being taken care of.

when someone offers their help to him, it means a lot. so when he offers to you it means SO MUCH. you guys being able to rely on eachother is all he wants and he will do anything for it to happen.

(he loves to receive too, so acts of service is the way to his heart).

hyunjin ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ

love language: acts of service

he's such a hard worker and most of the times take a load off your plate, so you won't get stressed. acts of service for him is a romantic gesture. he YELLS service and would to things for you to make you feel better or give a PRACTICAL look to the situation, putting you at ease.

he's a perfectionists so he wants everything to be perfect.

everyone needs someone looking out for them and for you it's hyunjin.

he has a hard time asking for help when needed it, and when someone steps in without him asking, it's BIG for him.

han ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ

love language: quality time/acts of service

the twins are the empaths of the group.

he feels your pain, suddenly it's his too. he wants to be close to you as much as he can so he wants to spend time with you. he's selfless and sensivite so acts of service are super commom in your relationship. his love has no boundaries.

he takes his time listening and being present to you (he's a great listener).

he likes to be alone and his imagination but spending time with you makes him come back to earth.

he wants the EXPERIENCE not the material things. he expects you to have good memories from your guys relationship, he wants to create a place you will love forever.

felix ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ

love language: quality time/acts of service

the twins are the empaths of the group.

han's description apllies to him too, please go back and read it again.

felix is a lot like han but he doesn't necessarily likes to be alone as much as han does and he's more opininative when trying to give you advices. he also feels way too deep the emotion of others and he would be really worried about whatever is bothering you.

seungmin ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ

love language: words of affirmation/quality time

minnie is such a chatty guy. in a particularly powerful way. he loves to connect with people on an intellectual level. he loves listening to you deeply and has a thing for long and emotional conversations.

he's a great listener and he has great advice too, so if he was to comfort you he would listen to what you have to say and then offer some "solution" to it.

he wants to reassure you with words and he will make sure his job is done.

he doesn't actually wants to simply affirm you with his words, he wants to tell you the truth of his heart.

having an one-on-one talk to him is a must.

i.n ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ

love language: acts of service/quality time

changbin's description apllies to him too, please go back and read it again.

innie's just have a even more difficult time expressing himself trough words.

#stray kids #skz #stray kids scenarios #stray kids reactions #stray kids imagines #stray kids headcanons #stray kids astrology #skz reactions #skz headcanons #skz scenarios #skz imagines #skz astrology #bang chan headcanons #bang chan astrology #bang chan reaction #bang chan imagines #bang chan scenarios #bang chan #lee know astrology #lee know reaction #lee know scenarios #lee know imagines #lee know headcanons #lee know #changbin imagines #changbin scenarios #changbin reactions #changbin headcanons #changbin #hyunjin reactions

[transgenderknothead]

M-Match up? 👀👉👈 Feel free to delete though! Drink water and take rests also, straighten your back!

So my match up is for an OC! My baby over here is Sylvia, art by me. So maybe the fandoms can be Arcana, Mystic Messenger, Obey Me and MHA!(If it's too much, pick the ones you wanna do, no pressure!)

A blind bimbo who can beat your ass and legally is unable to curse-

As mentioned, she is blind and has no pupils. Which means she prob has fallen down the staors and walked into the wall many many times...

She's 5'7, a more curvy(thicc) build and is in her late teens/early 20s(Think from 19-24)

Her full name is Shirubia Himawara and she is from japanese descent, her voice claim is suppose to be Amalee ! Though I imagine her voice to be much softer as she doesn't talk much

Sylvia is quite insecure of her body as it has many scars and marks,

With her personality, she's oblivious, dense, selfless and very kind overall, 10/10 would protect, she's a pacifist as well but she can be considered insecure, impulsive and cowardly due to her pacifistic nature. Girlie's very musically endowed, since she can play the piano. I even made a playlist for her-

Extra trivia!:

She has a kitten sneeze and has sharp fangs like a cat, though she acts more akin to a bunny

Mentioned before but she is very strong, possibly a lil weaker than Muriel but def strong, and she's physically fit

An orphan with emotional damage-

Small allergic reaction to chocolate but she's addicted to it

Dyslexic, blind and stoopid, a great combo

Really sensitive skin, so wounds hurt more!

Major fear of fires and an irrational fear of rodents bc it's really funny

Usually keeps her eyes closed but will open it to show she's sincere

A crybaby and will cry when strong emotions comes to her, like rage or just straight up too much fear

Mysteriously always covers her neck..? I have a body ref of her but it contains sensitive scars so... here

Sorry for rambling, she's my first and favourite OC and I make her suffer too much-

(She's asexual and likes guys)

For Arcana I ship her with Muriel. They just vibe with each other's soft and mysterious energy.

For Mysme I might be able to see her with Yoosung if you look at his innocent side and forget he's probably a horny boy.

For Obey Me I see her with Belphie, seeing as he's usually asleep none of her quirks really bother him.

For MHA I can see her with Shoji, once again for the mysterious and soft energy.

And don't worry, if you ever want to just rant about a new or favorite oc you can message me, just expect me to rant about mine in return.

#Arcana x reader #the arcana x reader #arcana x reader #Muriel x reader #Mysme x reader #Yoosung x reader #Obey me x reader #Belphie x reader #MHA x reader #Bnha x reader #Shoji x reader

[thewritingstar]

From looking at your profile it seems your a huge gruvia fans but my question is what draws you to it, is it the development their appearance or just the looks and gags from both gray and juvia,

Any chance I get to talk about Gruvia, I will :) 

This isn't spoiler free btw 

Gruvia is prob one of my fav ships and it was the first ship I wrote for so it has a special place in my heart. There are many aspects that drew me to it and although I love their dynamic and the comedy that surrounds them, I look at it on the more serious side. 

For starters, Juvia is my fav character so I was drawn to their ship anyways (plus they both hot af) 

The rooftop scene is really the beginning because Juvia who is known to be a ruthless and strong wizard and doesn’t really have any friends or any family to support her emotionally was ready to die. She was content with herself falling off of the roof and she didn’t think that he would save her because she was the enemy. She had never experienced kindness or an act of selflessness before so I think it took her by surprise. 

During their battle, Gray made a comment on the rain and it upset her but when he saved her, the rain went away and she had never seen a clear sky before. 

Their development of two broken people having this unspoken trust is something I really like. Not to mention that Juvia was the only one to back him up when ever he went undercover (both times) and didn't judge him. She had always been a ride or die for Gray if you think about it. Even Natsu turned on him quickly. 

I think I love them because of the growth they gave each other. Gray taught Juvia how to laugh and smile and want to live while Juvia taught Gray that no matter how alone he feels, she will always be there for him and you don't have to be afraid to love. 

Another reason is the way they are drawn to each other. For Juvia, she has never really had anyone to loose so I think the reason she's so over the top Is because these emotions are brand new and she doesn't know what to do with them except for feel. 

As for Gray, he is afraid to lose people he loves dearly (his parents and his master) which is why he admits to never giving Juvia an answer. 

I know a lot of people don't think they are a good pair, and that's fine of course. But he cares about Juvia but I think he is scared that the moment he decides to let himself love freely, she's going to be taken from him. He did watch her die once 

People like to say that Juvia doesn't respect Gray but that's far from the truth. If Gray honestly didn’t like her, he wouldn't be around her and could yell at her and cut her off. I mean she apologized because she believed she was the cause of his fathers death but he wouldn't allow her to feel that way. 

I just love them because Gray is opening up and learning to love slowly while Juvia is excited to have someone she can genuinely connect with. They protect each other and I think (could be wrong) they have the most unison raids together and its even admitted that they've gone on dates together. Also Gray shows Juvia a whole bunch of new and fun things that she never got to do in her other guild. 

They have a level of trust with each other. Their development is more about them as individuals growing and learning together. Plus if you think about it, they were enemies, to friends to lovers which is iconic. 

the jokes and gags around them are great too and I love that they can have comedic side as well. Plus Juvia taking on his stripping habit is hella funny. 

I think overall they have a great story and I love all the moments they have. 

:) 

#ask star

[sidecarghost]

Spn 15x18 spoilers below

Dean can’t reciprocate: Spn Meta on Romance as the language of the soul or alt theory Aro Dean

So the 15x18 script had line about Dean can’t reciprocate. And I thought hmmm.... prob just like everyone else and here are my two cents.

Dean can’t reciprocate because:

He only ever thought of Cas as friend and would never want to pursue any relationship more than that.

He is aro and he doesn’t connect with romantic attraction. And this is absolutely fine!

He has denied and repressed any romantic urges and numbed himself to them. Big diff between this and Aro because Aro is natural and valid but repressing romantic attraction is not.

He was like wtf is happening right now. I need time to process.

I am Destiel shipper so obviously hard no to #1, but that is a completely valid opinion just not one I share. But I refuse to even enumerate any opinion of Dean being offended by the declaration. #4 could be case and with more time Dean would have reciprocated. But for this post I’m really focusing in on #3 and maybe a little #2.

In my opinion, Aro Dean is not a Destiel deal breaker. I think Dean and Cas can still have beautiful relationship with platonic love and sexual attraction and low to none romantic attraction on Dean’s side.

Really the purpose of meta was to poke at possibility of romantically repressed Dean. And the convo Famine had with Dean way back in season 5 came to mind.

Notes: I am awful at meta, so take this entire dump with grain of salt. Just some things I noticed while thinking about Dean’s romantic identity and making metaphorical comparisons to heart, romantic soul, and will power from a couple scenes in Spn.

Metaphors under consideration from Spn scenes

Heart

associated with acts of caring that are selfless and kind (like saying someone has a big heart)

Will power

Driving yourself to get your shit done.

In Dean’s case his will power is typically fueled by hate and anger because he is a monster hunter and his anger keeps him going even when he wants to give up.

Romantic soul

your romantic connection to other people (i. e. soulmate) and doesn’t necessarily have to be sexual.

Spn 5x14 Famine talks to Dean about his broken, empty soul

FAMINE: hunger doesn't just come from the body, it also comes from the soul.

DEAN: It's funny, it doesn't seem to be coming from mine.

FAMINE: Yes. I noticed that. Have you wondered why that is? How you could even walk in my presence?

DEAN: Well, I like to think it's because of my strength of character.

FAMINE: I disagree. That's one deep, dark nothing you got there, Dean. Can't fill it, can you? Not with food or drink. Not even with sex.

DEAN: Oh, you're so full of crap.

FAMINE: Oh, you can smirk and joke and lie to your brother, lie to yourself, but not to me! I can see inside you, Dean. I can see how broken you are, how defeated. You can't win, and you know it. But you just keep fighting. Just... keep going through the motions. You're not hungry, Dean, because inside, you're already...dead.

Spn 15x18 Castiel talks about Dean including how he sees himself and how loving he really is

CASTIEL: you see yourself the same way our enemies see you. you’re destructive and you’re angry and you’re broken... you’re daddy’s little blunt instrument. and you think that hate and anger, that’s what drives you, that’s who you are. it’s not. everyone who knows you sees it. everything you’ve ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. you raised your little brother for love, you fought for this whole world for love. that is who you are. you are the most caring man on earth. you are the most selfless, loving human being i will ever know.

Romantic Identity Thoughts for Dean

I agree with popular opinion that Dean reads like a bisexual character, but his romantic identity doesn’t necessarily have to match. And I think so far he doesn’t seem to fit label of biromantic. Like biromantic is possibility if Dean is just repressing his romantic urges because he has numbed his soul to all feelings per Famine’s monologue. Or just we haven’t seen it on show but Dean does feel that way. But I think some other labels may be better fit for Dean.

Dean is really good at all the platonic aspects of love. Like Castiel said Dean has a big heart. platonic love is very selfless. It is driving to help a friend, sharing interests, caring about each other’s wellbeing, being there to support them, and protectiveness. At its purest it is selfless and expects nothing in return. Pure platonic love is not jealous love. You don’t get jealous about the recepient spending time with others. You are also typically okay when they are gone. And that plays back well with Castiel’s speech in 15x18. Just aside, Dean being really good at platonic love is important if you read Castiel as demiromantic because Castiel would need a strong friendship before he feels any kind of romantic attraction.

Dean also enjoys casual sex and shows signs of sexual attraction for men and women. Although the show has only established female sex partners so far, that does not mean he isn’t attracted to men too. And there have been instances in show that read as sexually attracted to men.

But even though Dean has had multiple sexual relationships on the show, Dean has no canon romantic attraction. Other than the weird witch sisters when he was hexed in 13x12. That curse was first time Dean was in romantic love, and it wasn’t consensual which sucks but non-con is a common spn theme.

Maybe it could be argued Cassie and Lisa were romantic love interests. But I dunno he kind of just left them without any noticeable regrets. So it seemed like Dean enjoyed protecting them, being a good friend, and having sex with them, but there was no soul yearning romantic aspect to the relationship. These weren’t woman that he couldn’t live without. Their loss didn’t crush his soul.

But then there is Castiel. And each time Castiel is lost Dean falls apart. This tough hunter that tragically gives last rites to his family and friends on a daily basis becomes a sop of hurt and angst when Castiel is gone. Those are very romantic feelings. Then Dean seems to bounce back to happiness once Cas comes back. So maybe Famine was wrong or lied because Spn monsters seem to get retconned into lying quite a bit, or maybe Dean has already started to explore and nurture his own romantic identity or in Spn Famine terms soul.

Also Romantic love often tends to be jealous and possessive. Like Famine said this is a hunger, and it can be this wild, ravenous thing. So by Castiel calling out all Dean’s selfless acts it kind of resonates with Dean not having a current romantic partner and that being something Castiel wants for Dean.

Anyway, romantic identity and sexual identity don’t have to match. So Dean can be bisexual and homoromantic or bisexual and aro. I am thinking demi-, or homo-, or biromantic, because Dean does seem to experience some very romantic feelings for Castiel (i.e. touches, looks, romantic squabbles, and the overwhelming need for Castiel to be around). If Dean tells Castiel that he just doesn’t feel the connection to love speeches and romantic thoughts then aromantic may actually be a better fit for him.

There is even a WTFromantic that is meant for people that can’t feel romantic attraction because the things in their life have overwhelmed them to the point that the concept of romantic attraction is just completely inaccessible to them. And I dunno, but that label seems pretty descriptive of Dean too.

So Dean may not be able to reciprocate romantic feelings because he has made a conscious decision to just repress all romantic attraction as much as possible per Famine monologue. Even tho Famine talk was 10 years ago Dean still has same problems. He is going through motions, as in 15x17 where he denies there even is a case to solve. He is fueled by anger and hate. Right before Cas’s romantic declaration, Dean is talking about all he feels is angry and bloodthirsty. So that empty soul that has been denied every desire may still be mangled and hurting. Dean just needs to confess he isn’t coping and get help.

Or Dean may identify as a character that doesn’t connect romantically, if Dean is aro then there was nothing ever wrong with him because that is valid and no one should push him to act in a way that isn’t natural for him. And I specifically tried to use romantic soul, because I don’t mean to make any kind of comparison to romantic attraction and the immortal soul like that is totally separate concept.

Anyway, I kind of feel like the show is setting it up as former and that by calling Dean broken it is describing him as repressed romantically and maybe the next couple episodes are him coming to terms with that aspect of himself. Like he’s been running on anger for so long maybe time to do some soul searching.

Disclaimer: romantic and sexual identity labels are not meant to be prescriptive, they are just supposed to help describe your truth so you can have a language that describes your own personal identity and you know you are not alone and you have a community. I would never apply them to other people, but Dean is fictional and interesting so I thought I’d try to dig at what the writers and actors were doing to either consciously or unconsciously give Dean his own romantic and sexual identity.

#spn meta #destiel meta #Destiel #spn spoilers #15x18 #Spn spec #romantic questioning Dean #demiromantic bisexual Dean #aro bisexual Dean #Dean is queer #Dean cannot reciprocate

[optimiist]

𝚒’𝚍  𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙  𝚊𝚗  𝚎𝚢𝚎  𝚘𝚗  𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖  ;   that  there  is  APRIL  RIGGS  ,  notorious  for  being  (  deceitful  )  and  (  superficial  )  ,  but  there  are  times  when  she  can  be  (  charismatic  )  and  (  strategic  )  .   i've  heard  that  she  could  pass  as  a  MEGAN FOX  doppelganger  ,  but  i  don't  see  it  .   the  (  thirty-five  )  year - old  cis woman has  been  in  town  for  (  two weeks / majority of her life  )  and  they  are  a  (  socialite  )  by  day  and  murder  suspect  by  night  .   they  tend  to  spark  images  of  swarovski crystal champagne flutes raised in the air , a 14 carat diamond ring left on the bedside table , a singed undergrad diploma , a stranger in the mirror , a stadium full of empty applause , the lethal combination of a stepford wife and stifler’s mom  .   you’ll  know  when  they  walk  by  because  they  always  seem  to  be  blasting  feeling good  by  NINA SIMONE  .   it  truly  explains  why  they're  known  as  THE  TROPHY  .

to know:

UPDATE: her full bio is here. gives more important insight into the relationship she has/had with her mother.

triggers: neglect, brief mention of statutory rape

i got very ‘poetic’ in the ‘a little further’ portion of the app and described her as a trophy in my first bullet point… so there you have it! you see, no matter what she did, she was always only praised for her appearance. just a trophy!!

she was born (in taunwick) to a very successful politician and her trophy husband. therefore, she spent much of her time alone as her mother was busy campaigning or throwing galas while her father, her mother’s trophy husband, went along for the ride. 

there were very few times they spent any ‘quality time’ together – picture what i think was the first scene (one of!) in mommie dearest where joan crawford is turning her daughter’s birthday into a photo op. that was pretty much their definition of quality family time. it could be successfully argued that april’s mother figures all came in the form of nannies.

it could also be successfully argued that, unlike lionel, april is part of the daddy issues™ club. as will be very evident afhdliuwdsjn

probably also part of the mommy issues™ club aflhskd

mother riggs probs would go off about wire hangers but... u kno... not to the mommie dearest point...

what should be taken away rn is that she was literally raised to be shallow fhlakjds

she began an entitlement act rather young - there were only two people who saw through it, one of which will be sent in as a wc and the other… being harley!! bc gotta get april connected to the murders somehow!! gotta give her a reason to stay in taunwick too but!! that’s a problem for a future bullet.

there are those annoying kids who refuse to share their toys and all. and they usually grow out of it. but april… did not. elementary? demon child. junior high? demon preteen. high-school? demon teenager.

now!! on the topic of high-school!! if her age is any indication, she is not part of the class of 2000 - if i have my math right (possibly don’t, i once legit studied for a math exam and wound up still only getting a 34), she was part of the class of 2003. that being said, one year of hers did overlap with everyone else’s - she knew chastity as an acquaintance at best, although she still recognized harley as a friend!! good for her!!

that being said, chastity’s murder….. didn’t have much of an effect on her…. ya it’s v tragic….. but it’s been a week guys :\ 

her alibi: she was in the woods with someone…….. when pressured to say with who bc animals and trees can’t confirm that…… she was ashamed to say it was someone on the lacrosse team. she usually aimed higher :\

anyway, they all graduated and it was HER TIME TO SHINE!! it was HER TIME to USURP THE THRONE and become THAT BITCH of the school!! probably had .3 real friends, what with the exception of the one wc i plan to send in!! that... was inspired by “jenny” by studio killers… we can’t wait to send it. 

did everything she perceived as the it girl stuff, what from joining those cool teams to being crowned her own prom queen to……………. sleeping with teachers. 1) alexa play “daddy issues” by the neighbourhood, 2) fire them.

fun fact tho!! she got into a hella good school. as in the ivy that is columbia. by what was….. partially her own merit…… partially her mother giving a very generous donation. have to make the family look PERFECT!!

she received an art history degree on what was….. partially her own merit…… partially sleeping with professors (see two bullets above.)but... graduation came… and what do you do with an art history degree from an ivy… 

you marry rich!!!!!!!

in the perfect parallel that she did not even recognize as a parallel because she’s big dumb, she found a marginally older politician (....it’s gonna be a wc so it’s gonna depend on the player but it’s gonna be 50+ hfdlsjak wld make it older but there j aren’t enough resources!!) and was like *martha (...virginia woolf?) vc* “yes, yes. [he] will do.” *end vc*

in spite of having become marginally more introspective than she was in high-school… she still doesn’t recognize her daddy issues :\

they got married. in spite of it being beautiful and expensive and gaudy, she really didn’t feel anything?? was lowkey GLAD her parents weren’t there (and not in the angsty ‘they never show up to anything anyway :\’ way, in the ‘this is literally wasting everyone’s time’ way). their marriage started and continued as a very unfulfilling one. he, in perfect politician style, began having affairs exactly as she, in perfect april style, began having affairs. while they never directly spoke of them, they knew the other was involved with other people.

why april didn’t divorce him is an excellent question. is it out of a certain selflessness, not wanting to do any damage to his career?? is it out of selfishness, not wanting to lose that sugar daddy?? a little bit of both. probably more the latter tho!!

anyway!! her father finally divorced her mother and she was like “i’m…. gonna say i’m gonna go be a good daughter…. go comfort my mother in this trying time….. but jk i j wanna get away from my husband lmao”

again, barely knows her mother. learned various different languages so she could have fair conversations with the foreign nannies.

but….. he has a reputation to keep up!! and his wife straight-up disappearing and leaving him would be 100x worse than a divorce…. so here he comes!! to save the day!! and his reputation!!

as you can imagine, between her husband figuring out her real motive + her…. barely liking her mother, she would be inclined to return to nyc… but that’s where harley’s murder will come in!! the perfect crime!! literally!!

TL;DR:

a former It Girl™ with daddy issues, mommy issues, and a fear of commitment.

CONNECTION IDEAS:

**open to any gender unless otherwise specified

her husband (m): WILL BE BEING SENT INTO THE MAIN.

that connection based off of “jenny” (f/nb): WILL BE BEING SENT INTO THE MAIN.

various affairs: gotta have those if she’s resigned to a new life… still with her husband :\

‘friends’ from the class of 2002-2005: i think that’s the right range for when she would’ve been THAT BITCH in the high-school?? but ya!! ppl chillin w her for the clout and she was like “this is validating”

enemies from the class of 2002-2005: again, i THINK that’s the right range?? but wow. ppl she didn’t even TRY to be nice to. or ppl who j straight-up hated her. there were plenty of reasons!!

hookups / ‘dates’ from the class of 2002-2005: again with the math?? But ya!! more inclined to ‘date’ those cool folks, but apparently didn’t discriminate with her hookups if her alibi is any clue.

neighbors: up in the hills chillin right next to a very watered down political joan crawford, her trophy husband who yeet’d out of existence, and eventually her very shallow daughter and said shallow daughter’s husband who’s probs closer in age to said very watered down political joan crawford. what could go wrong!!

acquaintances of any sort from the class of 2000: gotta get them skels!!

more to come!!

FURTHER:

for a bit of a better idea:

pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/idkimnewwastaken/april/

playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1416e2ijuY3viSnzi6HjPz?si=sQmXEc5DQlSKbT2t7XZYeQ 

musing tag: https://optimiist.tumblr.com/tagged/april-%7C-musings.

mini stats (to be later extended): optimiist.tumblr.com/as (also again with the font) (and notice the irony i have in my url when combining april and lionel!!)

#april ! #april | intro. #taun.intro #UPDATE: same things lionel's intro tags say fhalaiedjskn

[ferie-anon]

Hii! Love ur blog 💖 Are ships still open? If so could i have one for NCT127? I'm a Libra sun, Aquarius moon, Libra mercury, Virgo venus, Leo mars, and Leo rising!

Ooh~ a fellow libra here! With your placements, you are easygoing with great people skills, as libra mercury and libra sun adds to that! Aquarius moon gives you quite the rebellious nature or mischevious-like. Becuz aquarius is also a social sign you aren’t nervous and pretty chill with socializing. But I would say with aquarius moon, you’re a bit within your friend circle, and you pay attention to others problems at times~ Virgo venus, you are attentative to details and show your love through caring and thoughtful actions, they’re not the huggy type but definitely the wholesome type :3 Lastly leo mars and leo rising make you fierce- well with leo mars it makes you more passionate and determined towards a goal compared to your easygoing nature, and leo rising makes your first impression very charismatic? Leo risings generally are distinct and noticeable :3

In nct 127.... I ship you with Haechan! 🌹☀️✨💖🧸💛

Donghyuckie... it may be a bit unexpected but you both complement each other well ✨ At first meeting, it was unexpected as you noticed Haechan’s distinct laugh with his friends.(He literally looked like a full sun ☀️🐣✨) And he noticed how cool your entrance was, not that you did it purposely, but you held a magnetic aura that naturally drifted eyes to you. Haechan thought you were chic and was impressed first time~ Now his sun is in gemini, and libras and geminis both are known to have great chemistry. Both are a natural at cleverness and words, as they have similar thinking & curiousity that you would find each other on the same wavelength in no time!

Haechan’s moon is in leo, and it is the opposite of your moon aquarius in the chart. With leo moon, they are more dramatic over their reactions or expressions. Like lively, playful like a child is how they tend to feel and act. Leo moons tend to look more on the positive side of things, and tries to not see the negative side sometimes. While your aquarius moon comes across as chill or a little detached when they actually want to help people and concern themselves with others problems to fix it. So at a non close friendship, you may seem distant, but really thats not the case and you do care bout others alot~ Don’t fret both of you have traits that balance each other well. Upfront, Haechan is welcoming and playful, which can let you be able to open up with each other. And your moon can help Haechan to be a little more mature or let him accept both positive & negative sides.

Next up, Haechan’s mercury is in cancer. So he may be more emotionally invested in his words, which may be soothened out by your virgo venus. Becuz his mercury is sextile to his venus~ So Haechan is attracted to how your virgo venus’s attitude towards romance and art~ Both of you guys enjoy similar social life/friends with interests in common. Also his venus in gemini is trine to your mercury and sun ~ So you will also be attracted to his venus and actions, also your sunsign will enjoy the bubbly and teasing nature of his venus ✨😝💫☘️ Kinda like he’s attracted to your maturity/selflessness and you’re attracted to his vitality/youthful acting~

And now we have Haechan’s mars in gemini! Gemini is sextile to leo, so his mars is sextile to your mars and rising. It means you both have similar preferences and things that make you happy, which makes it easy for both of you guys to feel pleased by each others actions! So, maybe haechan sings a song playing the piano, and you’re just touched and goes 🥺😳💖✨~ cuz Haechan’s honey 💛✨ 🎶 vocals-

Lastly, continuing from before his mars is sextile to your rising which means theres a natural pull or attraction :3. And the same thing goes to you too, so in first meeting you two kinda feel like naturally drawn to each other and you wanna get closer so~ 🌹✨

To conclude, haechan and you two would be like bestfriends couple <3 yknow? You both have great chemistry and Haechan being the lil mischevious him will probs joke around alot when you unexpect it causing u to react a little surprised and he’ll enjoy your reaction, so yall won’t be bored ever <3 ✨💖🌹☀️🎁🎉

#kpop ships #astrology ships #nct #nct dream #haechan #ask

[dekudynamight]

This is dense but oh well. Top 5 favorite character qualities for Bucky, Steve, and Loki

…. Jesus okay lemme get comfy here cause this gon b awhile 😂I’ll start with Loki.

1. His love for his brother. They’ve been to hell and back and they’ve fought more than they’ve made up but heck if they’re not brothers before anything else and the most important person in each other’s life and their reconciliation in Ragnarok cleared my skin and watered my crops and cured the plague in my house

2. His love and devotion to his mother. They had such a special and sweet bond and he was such a little douche to her in TDW and I absolutely H A T E that his last words to her were that she’s not his mother like 😵😵😵stabbing me in the face would hurt less, not to mention I’ll forever be salty that he wasn’t allowed to go to her funeral and he found out she died from some stupid useless guard but ANYWAY he loved her so much and she loved him and believed in him and never stopped and I just have a lot of feelings about this 😭😭

3. His magic abilities/combat skills. I desperately wish we’d gotten to see more of both skill sets since primarily we got a lot of illusions and stabby-stabs, which, I mean, he’s dang good with both, but… I really wish we’d gotten to see the full extent of his abilities.

4. His wit. Dat silvertongue is no joke, and his sharp sense of humor and iconic quotes will always be my fave. Yes Mr. Loki, I was made to be ruled. You got me there 🤷🏻‍♀️

5. His slutty, slutty, slUTTY sluttiness. Yes, MCU Loki never got a love interest and the closest we got to any kind of canon romantic/sexual interaction was those hilariously uncomfortable few seconds of eye contact with the Grandmaster but it doesn’t even matter. He’s gloriously, beautifully, amazingly, unabashedly slutty and we all know it.

ALL RIGHT NOW ON TO STEEB.

1. His selflessness 😭😭he’s a self-sacrificing idiot and never puts himself first (unless you count CW and throwing the entire planet in the trash for Bucky’s sake and I guess we can but… that’s literally the o n l y situation he’s ever acted selfishly in so 🤷🏻‍♀️) and I both love him and want to relentlessly shake him for it

2. His good heart. He’s just… he’s so good, to his core. He could never be anything else, I don’t think. He’s as incorruptible as a human being can get. He deserves so much more than what the MCU will ever give him 😭😭😭

3. His loyalty. Is your BFF really your BFF if they’re not willing to dump their team of superhero friends in the trash, renounce their own super identity, and go on the run as an international fugitive just so you can be free? Prob not honestly

4. His capacity for love. I think he and Loki share this, actually, in that when it comes to who he loves he loves them with his whole heart and will do anything in the world for them. Peggy, Bucky, Wanda… sigh. (And on that note, we all know he’d never flirt with Peggy’s niece AT PEGGY’S FUNERAL so let’s just ignore that under the Stupid-Ass-Decision precedent)

5. His depression/PTSD/anxiety. Sounds like an odd thing to choose as a favorite trait but honestly I don’t think it is because he embodies so many issues that we RL people deal with every day and his character is all the more inspirational for it. He can do it all day, and we can too. We just, ya know, shouldn’t jump out of planes without parachutes like he does 😬

AND FINALLY… BUCKO

1. His inherent goodness. He had his humanity and autonomy and complete sense of self systematically ripped out over and over again and yet Hydra had to tell him the work he was doing was good to keep him compliant. And even then he showed doubts and didn’t believe them. They literally could not kill the goodness in him and I love him so much 😭😭😭

2. His independence. While some folks think he relies completely on Steve and lacks agency, instead I see a character who lived fully on his own for two years preCW, getting by and slowly rediscovering himself, and then later on in Wakanda, chose to back into cryo to protect both himself and others and then upon waking up and being healed, thrived on his own with only sporadic visits from Steve. He’s his own man, his own character, and every time he’s followed Steve into battle it’s been his own choice.

3. His overall personality. He’s flirty, he’s funny, he’s charming and incredibly human. He’s my favorite character to write hands down and I may never be sick of him 😂

4. His loyalty. If his and Steve’s roles were reversed he’d do the same for him and Steve’s said as much. I love them 😭😭😭

5. His hair. Does hair count?? Because… God I love that hair. I don’t even care that it was a wig in IW. ITS MY CURRENT MOOD, SEXUALITY, TEA, AND EVERY OTHER DUMB CLICHE ALL ROLLED INTO ONE 😂

#god that was so long I'm sorry #asks #top 5 ask meme

[kurainburdened]

m a y a p o l l o

Who said “I love you” first

Maya did. In her teens she was very guarded, not getting too deep and keeping everything light. But as she got older kind of became much more…open with her affections? Her saying I love you was something very natural and matter of fact. Something said without much weight. She doesnt want him to feel weighed down by it, doesnt want him to feel like her saying this is a demand. She wants him to know that she cares deeply about him but also to feel like it’s ok. A phrase as light and as matter of fact as a greeting. 

Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background

THIS IS SO MAYA. She takes a lot of selfies and a lot of pictures. Maya has to leave a lot, has to take long trips and long periods where she cant see him. So while a lot of the pictures she takes are for the pretense of teasing him for the most part she takes them to remember him by while shes out and about. It’s probably a picture of Polly taken by surprise. A picture of them making a cake for someones birthday and started a flour fight or something like that. A small thing to make her smile while shes out and about treking in some freezing mountainside 

Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror

A lot of the time there are days where one has to wake up earlier than the other and cant be there for the other when they wake up. So to make up for that silly messages are left in the bathroom mirror! Things from silly pictures, to dumb memes, bad puns. Maya likes to try one upping the other, but one time Apollo left something funny enough to make make maya double over then trip and bump her arm. There’s a large bruise and she ends up being like. YOOOO ok so heres what happened. An alien space ship came and beamed me up saying I was the chosen one to end this giant war that-

Who buys the other cheesy gifts

Apollo! I feel like he’s the type to see something small that would make her smile. Because as much as Maya goes off about how in a relationship it’s all about money and looks she’s really just joking. Or half joking at least lol. Honestly, he’d probably see a bottle of slime in the dollar aisle while he’s out and be like. ‘maya would get a kick out of this’ and bring it back just to see her eyes go big and that giant grin before inevitably bringing him into a big hug and exclaiming how he’s the best boyfriend in the whole world before going to entertain herself for a surprising amount of time. 

Who initiated the first kiss

You know. You know. I really…. I don’t know. That’s such a huge step for both of them . It depends on what she deems is for their relationship. I feel like…I feel like for Apollo, she’d…GOODNESS DONT TAKE MY WORD FOR THIS. IM EARLY INTO THIS RELATIONSHIP SO THIS IS SUBJECT TO CHANGE AS I LEARN MORE ABOUT THEM AND THEIR RELATIONSHIP BUT. She’d be more inclined to wait, see how he feels, and let him be more comfortable to make that first move. IDK. She’d be more guiding him towards being comfy enough for him to do that and when hes good and ready let him make that first move. Though I can easily imagine him leaning in for a kiss and maya moving in like shes going to and as soon as he closes his eyes maya pulling back and watching him as he holds his breath getting all anxious and when that kiss doesnt come he may or may not pout and then she’ll kiss him. IDK IVE NEVER DATED WHAT DO I KNOW ABOUT ROMANCE/

Who kisses the other awake in the morning

I feel like it’s Maya? Or rather I know she’d do something like that in the vein of ‘he works so hard, I at least want him to wake up to something nice and relaxing and happy’. Mornings like that are nice and relaxing, he wakes up to her, foreheads pressed together with a smile and shes like ‘good morning apollo!’ As soon as hes awake she finds herself going off about something fun. Something she wants to show him on tv. A show that made her cry. Share stories about what happened in the mountains. It’s mundane but I feel like Maya loves the mundane small things. When so much is chaos it’s the simple that you take refuge in, ya know?

Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower

maya is the only one of the two who would be so bold and can confirm that she WILL DEFINITELY SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT. Honestly as a bit of a joke, something to take him off guard so she can poke fun at him. Saying stuff like that to kind of tease him is fun for her. Though i think, if it’s deep into their relationship, he might take her off guard and be like sure. And maybe some stuff would follow man. She won’t shy away from it either. 

Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch

Definitely can go either way and honestly I kind of like that. Maya wants to take care of Apollo she knows hes always looking out for others and she wants someone to look out for him too, kind of thing. AT the same time, Maya is also the person whos looking out for others, in her own way that is. She’s not exactly COMPLETELY SELFLESS but it’s kind of like. Whens shes selfish SHES REALLY SELFISH but when shes selfless shes REALLY selfless, if that makes sense. Anyway, Apollo going out of his way to take care of her is important. Goodness if it’s Apollo I could see him taking that long train ride up there to drop off some lunch for her cause he KNOWS if she’s meditating she won’t be taking care of herself. Sometimes hes like oK ENOUGH OF THAT ITS LATE YOU GOTTA EAT. other times he can tell shes really in it and needs the concentration so he just leaves it for her, for when she snaos out of it. She jsut opens her eyes and sees the bag of burgers and smiles. When she ends up going back down he’s greeted by a giant hug.

Who was nervous and shy on the first date

Polly for sure! Though Maya takes it in stride and goes out of her way to get him out of this mindset that OOH WHAT IF IT GOES BAD. She probs is acting like a huge goof, doing things to throw him off to stop him from worrying and just over all like just really casual. She tries to keep it in the same vein of when theyre normally together. She just for the most part is keeping him having fun and getting him out of his anxiety. 

Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk

THAT WOULD SO BE POLLY. poor guy gets drunk and affectionate and loud(tm)  Maya gets drunk with him and the two are a lovefest mess. Which both of them get more than a little embaressed over the next day I’d imagine. though seeing as im new to getting drunk myself its hard to imagine. 

#justicedefended

[kangnuest]

introduction into nu’est

debuted March 14, 2012 with “Face” under pledis entertainment

fandom ㄴ.ㅇ.ㅅ.ㅌ (pronounced LOVE from the way you spell Nu’est in Korean 뉴이스트) fandom color hot pink

did pretty well during debut promotions but popularity kept declining due to shitty promotions from company and lack of comebacks  

many thought Nu’est was near disbandment

4 members (Jonghyun, Minki, Minhyun and Dongho) joined Produce 101 Season 2 in hopes of proving their skills and saving Nu’est

all four members made it to the finale but only Minhyun made it into the top11 (#9) and got to debut with wanna-one 

other members ranked 13 (Dongho), 14 (Jonghyun) and 20 (Minki)

but they did not fail because they did prove themselves throughout the show and gained a lot of popularity internationally and nation-wide 

in hopes that they continue to gain popularity I am making an introductory to the members of Nu’est for the new and upcoming ㄴㅇㅅㅌ’s :)))

firstly Nu’est’s Leader

Kim Jonghyun (JR) 06.08.1995

Leader, Main Rapper, Main Dancer

talented affff

3 S’s Shy Sweet & Sensitive

extremely caring

blames himself for Nu’est’s lack of popularity

looks like onibugi 

cries a lot 

but only bc he loves his members and p101 children so much and he wants to do his best for them 24/7

wayyy too selfless

Nation’s Leader

cried bc other p101 trainees did a hidden camera on him on his birthday

plays like almost every instrument ever

speaks japanese

loves eminem

says he’s living his father’s dream by becoming an entertainer

too shy to speak english

humble affff

video game addict

brought a potato to school and talked to it like it was his child

says sorry too much

ren is his gf

camera slut always has to be in the shot

hates tomatoes

always gets way into karaoke 

wants to marry aron :))

next is the oldest 

Aron Kwak (Aron) 05.21.1993

ft hungry Minhyun

Lead Rapper, Lead Dancer, Vocalist

real name is youngmin 

but he fucking hates it

from LA

is the oldest but isn’t the leader

for good reason

hes a fucking mess

an adorable mess but a mess

does radio shows

sometimes says things without thinking and gets himself into trouble

smart af

got accepted into NYU but chose to become an idol instead

learned Korean in 9 months

is a slut for his members

prob a closeted alcoholic

conceited 

high key gay for ren

mommas boy

ladies man

checks out girls even while on camera

thinks he’s cute and tags pictures of himself as #cutie

king of fan service

loves skinship

gets banned from twitter all the time bc all he does is follow fans

can actually cook 

has kissed ren and acted like he kissed baekho and minhyun

can’t ice-skate but claims he’s good at it

can’t say nu’est after all these years

hates horses and seagulls

can’t jump rope

has a crush on minhyun’s sister

is always 200% done with his members

“when I feel lonely at night I like lonnnggg hairrrr” 

ren: “rrreeaallly?”

claims he teaches the other nu’est guys english but has progressively given up

started the jr looks like onibugi thing

next is my bias :)))))))))))

Kang Dongho (Baekho) 07.21.1995 

Main Vocal

thiccc

can barely dance 

but has an amazing voice

looks scary but isn’t at all until he’s irritated

doesn’t get irritated easily but when he does gtg

is prob scared of ren

kang daddy

sexy bandit

really close to his dad

his dad has leukemia and dongho went to Instagram to ask people to donate blood to help his dad out

sweet pie

also hates horses

likes tacos

says he likes girls with “long hair, cute and sexy…. and a lot of money”

got his stage name bc he looked like Kang Baekho from SlamDunk

his stage name means white tiger

has a tiger tattooed on his forearm

2 more tattoos on his chest 

its hot af

has abs 

but gets too shy to show them 

knows kumdo and did it in his solo teaser before debut

again hot af

hates cleaning

won’t do it

has the most wholesome laugh I literally have a playlist of baekho laugh comps

if his laugh doesn’t make you smile idk what will

fought a drug dealer in Mexico bc he tried to start a fight with his members

strong af 

(saying hello on a radio show) “hello I’m baekho I’m fine thank you and you?”

has to hug someone to be able to sleep usually ren

sweats all the time 

he can breathe and start sweating 

a lil gay for Aron but kissed Minhyun on the cheek and is all over ren sooo

wants to be a comedian but only tells dad jokes

broke the lock on the bathroom door in their dorm once

says whats on his mind/what he feels

competitive but sucks under pressure 

sucked in school

lazy af

prob has the best English pronunciation out of the members besides Aron obviously

“I remember me”

has to pet every dog he sees 

called his parents just to ask to buy something worth like $6

talks shit to anyone and everyone

didnt mean to audition for pledis but went to support his friend in their audition and got casted lmao

is basically naked in the dorm all the time

but in public covers up like a nun

plays piano

always dies from secondhand embarrassment from ren

next is the model

Hwang Minhyun (Minhyun) 08.09.1995

Lead Vocalist, Visual

tall af

skinny but buff

should and could be a model

can hit high notes like nobody’s business

extremely innocent

still hasn’t had his first kiss

at first pledis only wanted him bc of how handsome he is 

speaks japanese

has an older sister that Aron has a crush on but he said she’s out of his league

low key savage

(saying hello on a radio show) “hi I’m minhyun, I like you *kiss noise*”

loves jr

is in Wanna-One (p101)

only pledis trainee to make it 

cried when minki jonghyun and dongho didnt make it 

didn’t even celebrate his victory bc all he could think about was leaving his brothers I’m crying

doesn’t drink

“perfect perfect perfect”

don’t ask him to improv dance

ren said baekho was the most handsome in nu’est and he accidentally blurted out “no he’s not” lmaoo

likes american-korean accents aka aron’s accent

got lost in turkey

rlly likes elephants

always has body lotion wyd boy ;););) 

loves things to be clean

always fighting with the members especially baekho bc nobody cleans except him

bribes baekho with food

hes a picky eater bc hes a child

sucks at bowling

said “this is your mistake” to Aron bc Aron didn’t know their English titles

sings everywhere

“thats no-no”

skips practice all the time

sleeps with earphones in how tf

cried when pledis scouted him 

next is the maknae

Choi Minki (Ren) 11.03.1995

Vocalist, Face of the Group, Maknae

is beautiful dressed as a boy and a girl

can rock long hair

actually any hair

made aron’s heart flutter when he was dressed as a girl

extra af

sassy af

on the topic of Mexican food he responded with “u know i luv u gurl I like mexican” and everyone in the room died

impersonated people drowning in an elevator from movie

minhyun said he had a lot of charisma and he said he was crying

ranted on how amazing and beautiful jr is for like 5 min on live radio

(saying hello on a radio show) “nice to meet you I’m ren thank you very much I love you too”

lady gaga’s number one fanboy sent her fanmail once

knows he’s pretty

can model walk

flexible

can play piano

thinks he can speak English

can’t

loves everyone

is actually terrifying 

does this thing with his shoulders 

so now he’s called shoulder gangster

not afraid to be embarrassed

can and will do any girl dance

can’t raise animals they all die

used to get mistaken for a girl all the time

members rlly love him

has a twitter

made jr sit in a trash can once

sucks at games like any game

amazing dancer

fell in love with baekho when he did kumdo for the solo teaser like same

is a lil bit of a loner

loves fashion

is a diva

likes nail art 

loves the movie titanic

hogs the bathroom bc he’s an ass

makes the members question their sexuality 

“how old are you” 

“I’m fine thank you”

likes skinship

says his older brother is terrifying lmao

snores

thats everything I can remember about the nu’est members pls support and love them

#stan nu'est #nu'est #p101 #p101s2 #wanna-one #kim jonghyun #choi minki #kang dongho #hwang minhyun #aron kwak #nu'est aron #nu'est jr #nu'est ren #nuest ren #nuest jr #nuest aron #nuest minhyun #nu'est minhyun #nuest baekho #nu'est baekho #baekho #ren #jr #kpop #nations leader #nations leader deserved better #sexy bandit #kang daddy #daddy sexy #shoulder gangster

[voltronassesposts]

600 Follower Giveaway Prize

Lance x @34choco fluff, some hurt and comfort drawing to be added

I’ll be working on the prizes for the lovely beans who bought me coffees next!

There aren’t any pizza shacks or beaches in space. This is a fact. There also isn’t any rain or bright orange sunsets to lay by while you enjoy a nice stretch. Space is so vast… but there’s nothing in it. Just a bunch of rocks and masses of energy, waiting to go supernova. Which is nice, if you’re far, far away. Except you’re not. You’re right in the middle of it, defending the world(s) and all that.

You also haven’t seen a planet with rolling hills and green grass since you parted ways with the Arusians. Plus the closest thing you’ve seen to rain was the fountain at the space mall! The pleasures of home are starting to seem farther away the longer you’re stuck in the Castle of Lions. And if this separation is hurting you, you know it must be hurting Lance even more, who was homesick the moment he stepped out of Earth’s orbit.

There’s really not much you can do for him, because the space mall is the closest thing you have to Earth, and even that’s totally different. The structure and people are similar, but it is all still very foreign. What you do have, however, is a Pidge. A Pidge that’s very good at reading the atmosphere and acting accordingly.

So what you have now is a modified projector which works wirelessly from your phone (which is basically useless now save for taking pictures and keeping notes). Hopefully this will be the key to turning Lance’s mood around.

You don’t waste time with pleasantries like knocking when you reach his door—you know he’s in there, and when was the last time he knocked when he came into your room? It’s not like he’s doing anything sensitive anyway, just playing some game on his equally useless phone.

“Don’t you know you’re supposed to knock before you come into someone’s room? I could have been naked.” He doesn’t look up from his game, simply swiping left to destroy some pixelated enemy.

“It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”

“Touché.”

You waste no time in making yourself comfortable in his room, dragging a dresser away from the wall and placing it in front of the only blank wall in his room. The wall isn’t exactly the perfect surface for projecting, but it’ll have to do. Hopefully what the wall lacks in gradient Pidge’s projector will be able to compensate for.

“Lance, I need you to come here.” The setup is all ready—you just have to press a button on your phone.

He lets out a guttural groan that leaves his lips sounding like a dying animal, but a few stretches and he’s hobbling over to you. He looks at the projector unimpressed before digging in his ear.

“What’s this?”

Taking his attention as a good sign, you press a button on your phone and the projector whirs to life. It blinks off and on for a few seconds before displaying the first picture in your gallery. It’s an old picture, more than two years old at this point, but it’s one of your favorite memories. You debated showing one of the better ones first, but you really wanted to show him this picture.

“This was our first real vacation together.”

One thing they don’t tell you about Mexico Beach is that the sunsets are spectacular, even when taking a picture with a shitty phone. All anyone ever talks about is the sand, and how it’s reminiscent of sugar, but the real selling point is the five seconds of wonder before the sun dips behind the horizon and bathes the beach in darkness. In this picture you’ve managed to catch one of those five seconds.

“Do you remember it?”

You look up at his face, happy to see that a small smile has graced his face where a frown once was. There’s that familiar glitter in his eyes, the one he used to get all the time back on Earth. Looks like these are hard to come by these days.

“Of course I do! How could I forget that pizza shack by the pier?”

And you have to laugh at this, because his one track mind is predictable. You pull up the next picture, one from your days in the Garrison. You weren’t allowed to have pets in the barracks, but when Lance found a rabbit in the desert that he swore was a jackalope, you just had to keep him. It lasted for about two weeks before you were caught.

You pull up the next picture until you’ve relaxed into a trend of swiping through photos and laughing at the shenanigans you someone always manage to get into. Somewhere between the photo of Hunk trying to eat a whole pineapple and the photo of your group trip to The World’s Deepest Pit, Lance wraps an arm around your shoulder. It’s warm and comforting, and something you haven’t felt for too long.

As the last picture approaches he places a kiss to your ear. You can feel him smile when he speaks.

“Thanks for this. You’re the best, Sheldon.”

HCs:

·         Lance is the go-to bf for being healthy and supportive! He makes it his personal mission to be in the know about both your mental and physical struggles at all times

·         So expect trying a lot of health stuff that he finds online, most of which are p crazy

·         He’s a perfect bf prepping to be a perfect husband, so expect everything around the house to be spick and span. He’ll take care of cooking, cleaning, and other things like building��

·         He’s a firm believer that animals make everything better, so he’ll get you a bunny or a large dog or maybe both for you to nurture and love

·         Expect that he will make you matching flower crowns and take lots of selfies with crazy filters

·         He always puts your needs before his own, he’s kind of selfless like that

·         You two probably spend a lot of time playing online games together and talking over a mic even though you’re sitting right next to each other

·         His favorite part about you is your hair (besides your personality lol). He could play with it for days

·         Does weird things like organize your shared bathroom. Your stuff is on one side and his is on the other and it has to look perfect ALWAYS

·         Treats your animal like your child and he’s such a good dad that you probs want to jump his bones right then

·         He’s probably going to need your self-love advice a lot so be prepared for that

·         His love language is words of confirmation so also expect to give/receive a lot of that

·         You’re around the same height which makes him happy bc it’s easier to kiss you that way

·         Wants to start a youtube channel with you where you critique games and do lets plays

·         You probably have matching names like pewdiepie and cutiepie do lel

 Your children:

·         One cute little girl that’s a lot like her dad!

·         She has light skin as a baby but it gets darker as she grows up

·         Her hair grows really long really fast, and it’s an unruly mass of brown curls to match Lance’s

·         She’s really into sports when she’s young, plays a lot of soccer. She graduates from soccer to rugby as she gets older

·         You p much have to keep your house stocked with medical equipment lol!

·         She ends up being really tall with your tall genes and muscular too

·         Always keeps her hair in a bun

·         Plays a lot of video games outside of rugby—she learned from her parents

·         Learns Spanish at an early age

·         Has light green, almond shaped eyes

·         She’s generally a good student and is really interested in biology

#voltron #imagines #personalized fic #prize #hc #scenario

[targettshopperbottlepopper]

TAKE ME OUT TO THE BAAAAALLLL GAME

This morning mike surprised me with Mets tickets tomorrow night !!!! I am not a met fan BUT I HONESTLY DONT EVEN CARE. This was such a selfless surprise he’s never done anything like this and it threw me off guard so much ! I’m so excited to eat some hot dogs and peanuts and drink beer and be next to my man cheering on his favorite baseball team !! ❤️💕⚾️ we got good seats too !

Right now I’m sipping on some blue point Oktoberfest beer I picked up while buying mike some goodies at best market today I bought him Milano’s and chips ahoy Gatorade for work and two types of cereal talk about diabetes 😳 but I saw it and had to buy a 6 pack and it’s raining and thunder and lighting Now and all I can think of is my future with mike . I can’t wait to be cuddled in a big bed one day with nothing but lighting lighting up our room as we’re both lying there probably high with a faint sound of music playing on our phones in the back giggling and laughing and cuddling prob a movie playing so forget the lighting with the room. But just the soothing calmness with nothing but each others company for you to feel whole. I feel nothing but whole with him. Everything I once yearned for in life has peacefully entered into my life as mike did. He is my other half as people may say. But he’s filled the spots and spaces within my heart of heartbrakes, disappointments, sorrow, etc. in my heart from 25 years from my past. It’s all filled with his love and sealed with kisses. It’s crazy to think how funny life could be. I thought I was in love but it was with the wrong person. Mike and I bicker and fight and I have my doubts (hence my past) but nothing relates to how strong our relationship is. Our star paths finally crossed and I am forever grateful.

I just got so sappy. Maybe it’s the beer. Maybe it’s my excitement for a date tomorrow something we’ve never expirenced together before. Maybe I’m fucking NERVOUS. I got butterflies

Today I dressed up knowing I’m seeing mike tonight which I did. My new romper and sandals came in from Michael Kors. I did my hair and makeup so nicely and looked super professional yet sexy in the outfit. I did it all with him on my mind. Something in me is telling me to act like I did when we first started dating. Maybe it’s because Timehop is showing me memories of us today 2 years ago was our first date and I want to relive those moments again. But whatever it is ITS WORKING because WE ARE GOING TO THE BALL GAME ❤️💕⚾️🎉

Updates coming soon

Xoxo xoxo

[dekumidoriyall]

This is gonna be all over the place bc it's just me sorting out my thoughts and sifting through things. It may not even be cohesive or clear, but it'll help me.

I honestly want to cry but there's no reason for me too. It just sucks that Everytime i make a little character progress, it's like only my mistake matters and I "haven't changed". Suddenly my mistake becomes who I always am, even when it's something I've lessened in frequency, duration, and even overall, scale. But the Lord sees me. He says keep changing and growing, not for anyone else but Him. And even if it still remains in me a little, I can still work on it. And even if no one else notices, He does. He sees my heart, He knows me. And I must keep going.

I wish I remembered which sermon this stemmed from. God is good, bc I'd be beating myself up way worse (not to say I'm not, but slow progress ia progress) but sometimes you hear a sermon or read a verse that isn't relevant right now, but it strengthens your spirit, and its useful at the right time.

I think I prayed for the wrong relationship this morning during my bible study. I'm learning about the fruits of the spirit and it said to pray about a relationship that you feel you aren't showing gods gift of love in the biblical sense. But today's little scuffle shows that some weeds that suffocate that Good Love, goes unnoticed some times. I prayed about me and my dad's relationship. But these weeds of small jealousy in my relationship with AJ, I thought were being maintained, but I didn't see the roots, And that's dangerous.

I get why it bothered me, and I get why it shouldn't. And it's not because the smiley doesn't matter to him, it's just bc it shouldn't matter at all. At the root of jealousy I guess I would say is lack of trust. Which sucks bc that means I'm doing the whole cognitive dysfunction thing. Bc I SAY I trust him and inside I do. But by getting upset, that's like the opposite??? So my actions and feelings and words aren't matching up (this sermon i remember) which is lame as heck. But I guess this whole conversation brought it to light, and so now I guess I can dissect it.

Outburst about smiley face stems from small jealousy which stems from insecurity or lack of trust or both. I felt secure tbh, which is why I wanted to bring it up, just so I could understand and not be upset about my assumption which is what he asked me to do??? He said wouldn't you rather be upset about facts than feelings. And so I ask about it instead of staying upset internally about something I misinterpreted, and suddenly I'm the worst. /:

And of course now it's all good, but I mean idk, first I get railroaded when i internalize it, and then I get put down when I do exactly what he asked?? And of course it's all good now and apologies were made, but I still don't know how to go about it all now, it just leaves me.confused.

But I shouldn't get jealous in the first place, which we are getting back to trust thing, which I do, but I guess maybe I dont say anything when the jealousy does get sparked. Maybe doing nothing about it, not acting out on it, nor bringing it to his attentions and just letting it be is better? Maybe it won't fuel it? Idk. I really don't know what to do and it sucks. I don't want to be jealous. I don't want to feel second. And idk which stems, bc I think maybe there's more to it, maybe it also stems from selfishness. He says I don't get jealous of guy friends and that's bullshit. Sometimes I do get a lil hurt when I hear about him hanging out with other friends in general. I just am.able to tell myself that's ridiculous a lot faster and not let it fester. And that's not good either and so all around jealousy is a mess, and I hate that it has it's thorns in my heart

Most of all, it's a fruit of the flesh. And it's not at all something I want to flirt with. All of it is. Selfishness and jealousy and insecurity, those are literally all the opposite of what agape Love is. And love is the first and most important fruit of the spirit. It's what we all ought to strive for in our lives and relationships with everyone, platonic and romantic. It's what I've been studying every morning this week. So maybe this discussion happened at a good time. I maybe wouldn't have been able to reflect as well if this had come up sooner.

So I need to just continue nipping these negative feelings in the bud. In hindsight, I maybe could've compromised with myself. Bc at this point in my journey to become selfless and get rid of these lame flesh based fruits, not saying anything at all might have backfired. There are some thing's, like the call or lunch or working out, that i can nip now that I wouldn't have been able to before, but this little thing meant more in my head. But my compromise with myself would have been to have brought it up better. I didnt use a great tone, even though my intentions were only to bring myself clarity, it wasn't to scold or make ykw feel bad for anything. But it def came across as such. /: I could've used a better tone, a better volume, and worded it much better. Like "hey I noticed there was a smiley next to her name as well as mine, and this is how it made me feel" and then he would've gone through the same thing and showed me all the smileys. Would that have been better? Would he still think the same? Would the outcome have changed? Or would he still say something about my jealousy? I dunno. /:

But God knows I'm trying. And I still will. I just pray I get more light on what I can do or what I should do when I do start to feel that way, so that it doesn't affect any aspect of my life or relationships. I don't want to be like my dad in most regards. And I refuse to inherit his anger, his jealousy, his temperament, closed mindedness, pride, disillusionment, and probs some more i can't think of on the top of my head. And I've done a good job in keeping most of those away from my heart and way of being just because I've always been aware of most of those traits. I didn't even think about the jealousy aspect of my dad before today. Bc digging deeper like where did this start, where did I learn it, etc , I saw it wasn't any of my previous relationships that it stemmed from, I used to have a little jealousy before all of that. So that means dig deeper further. And it led me to my dad and how he would act with my mom sometimes. And I dunno if there is any basis for his jealousy, but there really isn't any basis for mine. Lack of trust in general, sure there's a lil basis, both my exes have been liars, but that still not an excuse. Bc God didn't give us a spirit of jealousy. That's a flesh thing. And I think half of generational curses are just learned behaviors. And of course Jesus gives us the freedom to break any chain, so I am gonna break every single chain that holds me back that won't further the kingdom. Things I don't want my future kids to deal with, ya know? (And it's not all stuff dad did, there are attributes my mom has that I have seen in me that I also watch out for and make an effort to nip) So it's okay that I'm going through this trial and error thing now, it will only make me better and stronger and that's the viewpoint I've gotta keep. I don't have to be who I am,and I will overcome it.

#personal

[buttboyfilms-blog]

very very proud of this 1

did so good on this mf paper

:P

this is prob my new fav movie of all time

jean luc godard’s vivre sa vie 1963 baby

replacing the likes of -

lotr: return of the king (2006-9) / transformers #1

-district 9 (2009)

-shawshank redemption (10-12)

-eternal sunshine (12-17)

lmao

here is the scene that we were assigned to analyze:::

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlBS3PmPfaI

also some baaaaaad news for all u buttheads out there this is prob my last post 4 like a while im going tree planting next friday til like august

                                    “A picture all unnoticed before”             Enunciatory Struggles and Brechtian Distance in Nana’s Dance

     Nana’s dance to Michel Legrand’s “Swing! Swing! Swing!” displays a crucial moment of self-realization for the female subject of Jean-Luc Godard’s Vivre sa Vie (1962). If only for the duration of the song, she is able to detach from the patriarchal constraints determining her narrative. With unbridled bodily exuberance, Nana’s dance insists on an enduring “specialness” irreducible to the role of selfless prostitute. Analogous to her diegetic counterpart, Anna Karina’s performance seems to refuse the determining power of the camera, denying a full subsumption into Godard’s character. Karina’s dance liberates her from the diegesis, resulting in a disembodied point of view shot, symptomatic of Brechtian verfremdungseffekt. As the jukebox plays, lines drawn between the gendered, transactional relationships of pimp-prostitute and director-actress are blurred to the point of dissolution. While stressing the interconnectedness of filmmaking and prostitution, the scene of Nana’s dance asserts a vision of resilient, volatile female subjectivity, imperishable at the hands of domineering patriarchal forces.      Godard’s third feature film casts his wife, Anna Karina, in the leading role as Nana. Over the course of twelve episodic chapters, spanning approximately eight months, we watch as Nana’s persistent show business dreams lead her from an unfulfilling marriage to an unfulfilling career as a prostitute, and, finally, to her murder.      The dance sequence begins with Nana casually pressing a coin into the jukebox. In her subsequent dance, Nana traverses the length of the pool hall, approaching at first a young, blonde haired man, before sashaying over to Raoul and Luigi, and once more returning to the young man. As the scene fades to black, she twirls around a pillar in front of the jukebox. Throughout the entirety of the dance sequence, Nana’s jubilant body language seems to be at odds with her muted surroundings; her confident, joyous expression impervious to the men’s disinterest. However, in the scene’s final frames, twirling around the pillar, her expression yields to one of dismayed resignation.      Formally, the sequence’s opening frames exercise a tightness of control over the enunciation which Godard is unable to maintain as his wife’s commanding performance takes hold. The camera seems to revere Nana’s image in these frames, defining her strictly in the visual terms of her unmoving body. For the moment, it is in total command of our perception of Nana. It holds at her waist momentarily, letting the record spin, before tilting slowly upwards, savouring each moment of its briefly determining gaze. Godard has said of the film: “I cannot wait for the moment at which Karina has been subsumed to my image of her,” (Silverman 28). In moments such as these, in which the camera exercises determining power over perception of the actress, his vision appears to be fully realized. Nana’s body remains almost perfectly still; it is only the camera which possesses the determining power of movement. The image of a forlorn prostitute presented here is dually reflective of Raoul’s treatment of Nana. It is no coincidence that Nana’s pimp and Godard’s cinematographer share a first name. Both pimp and camera seek to impose reductive identities onto her character, eradicating her subjectivity in favour of their meaning. The attempted elimination of Nana/Karina’s selfhood within the film is an act of collusion between Godard and Raoul, but as Nana casts her eyes mischievously around the pool hall, it is clear that she has other plans.      Although the diegetic reasoning for Nana’s trade is her refusal of a client, her first transgression against the patriarchal domination of her character occurs in this sequence. From the initial tightly determining frames, Nana’s dance goes on to declare a realized female subjectivity, defying her male handlers. She sashays toward Raoul and Luigi momentarily, testing their response. Upon receiving not a glance from either man, she reverses course, now approaching the young man with increasing vitality. Defiance narrows Nana’s face into a mocking pout, and as she pushes forward, the camera is forced to retreat to accommodate her forward motion. She looks past the confines of the frame, disinterested in the determining function it has to offer. Suddenly, she rounds the pool table, forcing the camera to relinquish its tight grasp on her image, now following Nana from the rear at increasing distance. Although she receives minimal attention from the young man, the subordination of the camera to her dance affirms her movement as an agent of self-realization. Rather than the confining function of the camera in the opening frames, Nana’s dance now forces it to hold her at a distance to contain her unpredictable range of motion. Kaja Silverman states that the dance “represents the only diegetic realization of her show-business dreams,” (22). In this outburst of individualized performative energy, Nana defies Raoul’s expectation of prostitutes to renounce their subjectivity, insisting on her undying aspirations to rise above dismal circumstance. Through the singular power of bodily expression, Nana attains a detachment from the patriarchal structures of her narrative, realizing a forgotten, authentic sense of selfhood in the process.       Her moment of greatest self-realization, however, occurs as she approaches her pimp and his associate on the other side of the pool hall. With a final glance toward the young man, she once more pushes up against the retreating camera as she rounds the table back towards the jukebox. Here, however, Nana’s dance seems to force the scene to cut away from this shot. Rather than allowing her to pass the camera by, as before, the scene instead cuts to a shot seeming to be from Nana’s perspective. In this moment, the camera’s gaze appears to have lost all recourse to represent her dance, and, liberated from its determining shackles, Nana seizes control of the enunciation. However, the movement of the camera in this brief shot is slow and stable, in stark contrast to the movement of her dance as previously depicted. What results from this apparent dissonance is a sense of Brechtian verfremdungseffekt, a means by which, in cinema, the director is able to call attention to the fact of the filmmaking process, preventing the audience from losing itself entirely in the illusion of the narrative. The stability of the camera in these frames is irreconcilable with our perception of Nana in the pool hall. In recognizing this momentary discrepancy, we become aware of what appears before us as cinematic illusion, and Godard’s inability to subsume his wife into Nana. At once, Nana has fully realized her diminished selfhood. Her gaze wanders around the corner of the pool hall with a wide-eyed fascination, as if viewing the film’s set for the first time. This shot, as shown through her eyes, is visually distinct from the film as depicted by Godard. Karina’s experience of Nana’s character is profoundly different from Godard’s determining vision of her. In these few seconds, as the camera savours every detail of a chair, a radiator, a window, and finally the two men at the table, the viewer becomes acutely conscious of a sense of detachment from the film’s self-enclosed narrative. As Nana’s implied gaze meets that of Raoul and Luigi, staring out at her with interrupted hostility, Nana is removed from their expectations of her behaviour. In this moment, she is not Nana; not the forlorn prostitute of Jean-Luc Godard’s Vivre sa Vie. Through the power of bodily expression, she has become the film actress of her loftiest aspirations. If only for a brief, jubilant moment, she is Anna Karina.      This brief moment of total liberation for Nana/Karina does not last. The critical distance created by the verfremdungseffekt recedes as the confrontation between Karina’s and Raoul’s eyes extends past the five second mark. As if the unsympathetic gaze of Raoul, coupled with that of the camera, has finally managed to penetrate her dreamlike state of detachment, the scene shifts back to the previous shot, the camera placed now on her other side. Once more, she pushes forward, rounding the corner of the pool table, now moving away from Raoul and Luigi. Mockingly pouting, she sashays towards the jukebox in near perfect synchronization with the music before joyous laughter again overtakes her coy posture. Entirely disregarding the camera, she prances toward the young man, who is still focused on his game of pool. Nana’s dance continues independent of anyone else’s concerns, camera or character. Raoul Cotard’s lens now holds her at a distance, seeming to have momentarily forsaken the impossible task of suppressing her euphoric bodily energy. However, as the scene begins to draw to a close, Nana returns to the camera in front of the jukebox. Twirling around the pillar at the centre of the pool hall, she casts a variety of playfully mocking gestures in the direction of the young man. She spins in and out of frame, the camera remaining still. As the song continues, her jubilant expression subsides to one of genuine dismay. Her twirls slowly become confined to the frame. When the chorus, “Swing! Swing! Swing!” finally begins, interrupting Nana’s wordless flow of bodily expression, she clings to the pillar as this suddenly fleeting moment of self-affirmation. In the sequence’s final frames, Nana appears resigned to dismal circumstance. Casting a final, self-conscious glance toward her preoccupied pimp out of frame, the scene fades to black.      Nana’s dance represents a singular moment of self-affirmation for the female subject of Vivre sa Vie. Although ultimately bound for an abrupt, unromantic ending, this sequence displays Nana as in possession of a subjectivity ineradicable by male determining forces. As the jukebox plays, the charismatic bodily energy of her dance transports her above circumstance. She becomes more than Raoul’s prostitute, and more than a character in Godard’s film. While a scene of unanimously positive energy on the part of Nana, tensions abound within the dance. The roles of prostitute and actress, director and pimp become one and the same as the female subject of the film struggles against the eradication of her subjectivity. The sequence is a moment of unhinged self-reflexivity for both Nana and Godard, their struggle for enunciatory precedence openly comingling with the narrative tension. While Nana’s character ultimately resigns herself to the impossibility of escape, the preceding display of exuberant bodily expression asserts that although her character may be doomed to a dismal fate, her enduring subjectivity could never be erased.

#vivresavie #godard #movies #butts #dance