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brightwoods · 1 year

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Does anyone else feel like almost all of the conflicts that had to do with the various character dynamics in Chain of Thorns didn’t actually get resolved, they just unexplainably ceased to exist after two books of building them up because CC didn’t feel like writing them anymore and she didn’t know how to resolve it naturally after how she’d built the issues up so much?

Like how none of the characters but Cordelia and Thomas had any clue about the Alastair and Charles situation and then suddenly in CoT it was like who doesn’t know? Of course Matthew knew and didn’t say anything before and then randomly brought it up to Cordelia in Paris while assuming she knew too

Or how Alastair and Thomas went from how things were at the end of CoI with Alastair thinking it could never work because Thomas’s friends hate him to oh look everyone suddenly is friends with Alastair with no grudge with no development of that in this book at all, just an abrupt shift

Especially the Alastair and Matthew dynamic where Matthew hated Alastair and wanted him to have nothing to do with any of their friends and he spent CoI ranting about him to Cordelia. And then suddenly in CoT it’s like of course Matthew is supportive of Thomas and Alastair and oh look Matthew and Alastair are suddenly not just tolerating each other for Thomas’s sake but friends despite barely interacting and no development actually showing and never getting any mention of the other in their own POVs, just having Cordelia be like Alastair stop being dumb, you’re literally friends with him now

Or like everyone other than Christopher and Grace where it was like oh we don’t like her for how she’s treated us and her friends straight to anyway she’s one of us. Like yes Grace was useful and yes Tatiana manipulated her whole life, but none of that was why anyone changed their minds or opinions? It was just suddenly the flip of a switch when it was convenient for CC

Or Anna and Ariadne where it didn’t so much develop as Anna just acted mean to Ariadne on and off throughout the series and at the end of CoI she wanted nothing to do with a relationship and then in CoT she was just suddenly like sure I guess I do. Also, slightly different note, but I did not like that Anna barely interacted with anyone else for the entire book and she was just off in the corner being an irrelevant romantic subplot for almost all of the book except when she showed up to barely even be shown in the background being sad about her brother being dead

(Although Anna still got more of a reaction than everyone else and his death was poorly executed all around in the sense of how did you write this so predictably and poorly that no one even knows when he died and it’s so background and 99% of the characters don’t care at all and we don’t see his parents finding out or much of Thomas’s reaction or anything and it’s just as if he wasn’t a character anymore 2 seconds later which is a different genre of issue with CoT but similar problem in the sense that both issues made the book feel a lot more emotionless to read)

And how the issues of Thomas and Alastair being together as two men and Anna and Ariadne being together as two women in this time and the issues of what would happen if the fact that Charles and Alastair were gay got out to the entire Clave just disappeared and never got addressed at all. We know how the ClVe reacted to Alec Lightwood YEARS later. We know society was homophobic at the time TLH is set and that it seems like shadowhunter society was a lot less open-minded than mundanes a century later

I understand that Charles being blackmailed and making shitty decisions was annoying but it was like suddenly everyone finding out wouldn’t have consequences and all the other queer men characters were like how could you possibly be worried about this :/ as if they haven’t spent the whole series knowing they have to be careful about who they tell. And then suddenly it was just of course it’s totally fine and safe to have everyone find out and why wouldn’t you be fine with that. And it was really written in a way that had other queer characters like oh Charles is such a coward for not being ready to publicly tell a bunch of homophobic people his sexuality and it just wasn’t it??? And super weird after Thomas was terrified of telling even Anna and Matthew for years. And also, I did not care for the fact that when Charles did go risk getting outed to finally do the right thing, we didn’t even get to see it through any character’s perspective or how that important meeting went, we just got one line of dialogue from somebody else saying that it happened with no details at all. And I can’t think of other examples right now but there were quite a few moments like that where we got one line saying that something had happened that was important to the plot and to characters’ development that seemed like it would have been more interesting than some of what we did get to see where it was just totally breezed over and way too easy and totally background to less important stuff

And then there was the whole no one reacting to Ariadne and Anna dancing together publicly thing was like yeah that’s nice I guess but not realistic and it doesn’t go with the way things have been presented up to that point, it also just feels like a situation where CC was like well this would be easier for me so there just won’t be consequences and then they can easily end up happily together

And then there was the whole Thomas and Alastair thinking they couldn’t realistically be together thing and knowing they couldn’t get married or be known to be together by anyone they’re not close to and then at the end it’s still not really addressed how they’re going to be together? Like there was the laziest write off of the family tree being wrong and then we still are just left to assume that eventually they move in together and suddenly it’s not a problem and everyone’s fine with it? And then I also feel like we don’t actually know if everyone found out about Alastair and Charles’ sexualities after the blackmail or if people are going to assume about Thomas and Alastair or if that’ll cause issues or if no one knows outside of who they’ve told and they have to be careful or what. Which like wouldn’t necessarily need to be addressed if it wasn’t for the logistics of being together as two men in that time being part of the obstacle that they were struggling with being in their way and then it felt like it was totally forgotten to even be one at the end by CC

Idk like I’d love to think they just lived in a world where homophobia didn’t exist but it felt like homophobia was a plot point when CC wanted it to be an inconvenience and then suddenly disappeared just to make her writing easier the moment she didn’t want it there anymore instead of actually addressing the plots she raised with it if that makes sense?

And sorry, I really did not mean to go on a rant this long. And maybe everyone else had a very different reading experience than I did and other people don’t agree with some or all of this. I personally am just very confused about how the book was almost 800 pages long and it felt like so much of the development in it was us abruptly being told that development had happened rather than actually getting to see it and how so many of the issues were abruptly solved in an I don’t want to write this issue anymore kind of way rather than anything actually needing to be worked at outside of the Belial situation

Edit: You know what, I mentioned it in my tags but I feel like it’s annoying enough to put in the body of the post and make it even longer. What the fuck was with everyone outing or potentially outing everyone else just so that characters could openly talk about the queer characters and tell them to do what they want them to? Why did Matthew out his brother multiple times? Like yes, the people he said it to coincidentally already knew, but he didn’t know that. And why was Thomas outing Alastair? The straights got to keep their secrets as long as they wanted and fix their problems more naturally. Why did I have to sit through queer characters constantly having their sexualities and romantic histories to everyone else when they clearly had not okayed it? Why were the queer characters doing so much of the outing? Why were people who cared about them and knew what it felt like to be afraid of the wrong person finding out just broadcasting their sexualities to make it easier for CC to breeze past development to have their things get resolved fast? Why did no character have an issue with it at all?

#As a queer person the whole using homophobia against her characters as plot just to pretend homophobia doesn’t exist and call her characters #cowards for worrying about it as soon as she’s decided writing it doesn’t serve her plot agenda anymore really icks me right out #Like yeah I’d love homophobia to not exist but girl what are you doing that’s so gross to go about it that way #ALSO everyone outing or potentially outing everyone else to other characters to make it easier to get the queer characters to do what she #wanted them to was a HORRIBLE vibe. Why is Matthew outing his brother? Why is Thomas outing Alastair? Why is everyone telling everyone else #people’s sexualities as if it’s nothing and everyone has a right to know when that character clearly did not feel that way #And it’s so out of nowhere every time too #Hot take: Charles protecting Alastair’s privacy instead of outing him was more valid than anything any of the other queer characters said #about Charles or Alastair’s sexualities even if I hate Charles and his going along with the blackmail was bullshit #Also now that I’ve written all of this down and 99% of what I wrote about in here has to do with the canon queer characters that’s not #a great look either that she did breeze over some of the stuff with the other characters for sure but she was way more likely to skip depth #and development with the queer characters in CoT #CC said no slow burn gradual changes in this book… there’s only room for abrupt 180s and Cordelia running 🏃‍♀️#Sorry if this has weird typos and other mistakes in it. I typed on my phone and didn’t check for autocorrect nonsense and I’m too lazy to #reread this all rn at my current brainpower level #CoT #Chain of Thorns spoilers #Chain of Thorns #The Last Hours #The Shadowhunter Chronicles #Cassandra Clare #My Posts

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i-love-harryosborn-dotcom · 7 months

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Wolfsborn AU?? Wolfsborn AU.

Becoming a wolf man is complicated, being in love with a guy who flakes out on you a lot (and is secretly a wolf man) is complicated. But i like to think they make it work really well

And i like to think that whenever Harry finds out- it’s whimsical n fun n romantic n cute

#Wolfsborn AU #< this is a cute AU dammit #we r not doomed by the narrative here 💅#we are happy and queer and autistic in this wolfsborn household #they r in love- you dont even know how passively in love they are yet #they will be happy. eventually i mean- not like- right out the gate ya know?#also #im trying to get back into the groove of drawing dont come at me for mistakes here #harry osborn #peter parker #parksborn #why r u reading my tags anyway? this is being whispered #this is like… super secret spy shit here snookums #anyway im scared to write for them cause their fan base is intimidating and im not exactly a writer #im just a furry artist w/ a fixation ur honor 🫡#edit: ‘their fanbase’ is the parksborn fanbase. wolfsborn does not have a fanbase

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spoonyglitteraunt · 1 year

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The Hero is secretly gay. Unfortunately, the Villain doesn't know this and keeps kidnapping the Hero's best female friend, thinking that she's the love interest. Even more unfortunate, she's finally had enough. - writing prompts

That’s it!

She slammed the door closed behind her and threw her handbag on the nearby table. Too aggravated to sit and rest she stomped across her living room.

She was done. Completely and utterly out of patience. Zero fucks left to give. Ready to kick some henchman shins and track down ALL their mothers to tattle on them. D. O. N. E. Done.

This was the twelfth time in half as many months. Thirteen if you counted the one where she had downright refused to pay him and his nonsense any attention. Which had baffled him so much he’d stuck in his tracks long enough for the heroes to show up and foil his little pull before it got off the ground. They were currently averaging one kidnapping a week and she’d had enough. They had done it all. Surprise ambushes, drive by pickups, resigned walkouts. Everything short of pencilling it down in their schedule. Thursday morning, eight o’ clock, villainous acquisition time. Set to repeat weekly. Until at nauseam.

She had tried to be understanding, accommodating even, she really had. But there is only so much a person can take and they had long surpassed that point. She was lucky she still had a job what with all the surprise absences. If it wasn’t for the fact that she was a constant source of content – and she suspected unending amusement – for the paper she worked for, she probably would have been fired by now. Few bosses would be happy with a near weekly disappearing act. Regardless of whether she had any say in the matter. And the only say she'd had were some very colourful words her parental units would be shocked to hear.

No, something had to change and as usual it would be left to her to do so. Because heroes forbid she’d not have to be the proactive one in this dynamic for once.

A heavy and rapid knocking sounded at her door. “Darlin’, you in there? Y’alright?”

Speak of one half of this screwed up custody battle.

“Please open up.”

She huffed and proceeded to pace. Ignoring his attempts to get her to open while simultaneously avoiding accidentally knocking her door down with his enhanced strength. If she knew him – and she did, for well over two decades now – he probably hadn’t taken the time to properly de-transform yet. Too intent on checking up on her first. She wished he had lingered to wrap things up with the police instead. Given her some time to cool down.

It wasn’t his fault, not really. She knew this. Knew that Samuel “Bear” Friedman, contrary to his hero name and transformation, was an utter softy. Especially when it came to the people he cared about. He hadn’t asked for any of this either. He seemed more distressed by it all than the not-so-maiden he kept having to "rescue". But the fact remained that if it wasn’t for him she wouldn’t be spirited away on the regular by a villain who might be as colourful as the Ghibli film, but not nearly as entertaining.

Sure, it was the risk you ran when being in contact with a hero. Everyone knew that being in their life could someday mean you’d end up as a bargaining chip for the superpowered. But no one had warned her that this would practically devolve into become her second job. One she was apparently doing for the involuntary exposure and no pay.

The ridiculousness of it all was that she wasn’t even his partner. A fact she had tried to explain to Magnemind on several occasions. Not that he was listening. The villain had it in his head that Bear and her were “a thing”, and she was just trying to talk her way out of being held captive. Which, fair, she was. But that didn’t make it any less of the truth. Sam was about as straight as he was capable of keeping plants alive. His internet search history evidence to both.

“Please, darlin’. You worryin’ me here,” Bear’s deep voice rumbled as another round of carefully controlled knocks shook the wood.

She barged over and ripped open the door. The giant bearded man – who yup was very much still in his hero form – shrunk back from her glare. How she with her below average human size and strength could cow a man who was bear shaped both in and out of his transformation, with just one look, was anyone’s guess. It usually amused her to no end. Followed by several rounds of teasing. Right now however, she wished he didn’t look like such a kicked puppy. It made being angry with him seem even more unfair than she already knew it was. Damn her superb pack bonding instincts.

Huffing again she turned away and stomped back into her apartment without another word. Straight to her couch. Where she plopped down face first into the cushions with a loud groan and all the dramatics she could muster. She knew it was very not adult of her, but it none the less somewhat soothed the annoyed part of her brain.

It took a few seconds before Bear decided she wasn’t going to rescind the unspoken invitation and stepped inside. He closed the door as gently as he could with his clawed hands and padded over to take a tentative seat next to her.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I dunno why he keeps doin’ it either. But I talked with the others and we’ll start—“

She tuned him out as he rumbled on about what measures they’d take this time to try and keep her safe. They always had more measures and they never worked. Magnemind’s main power may be the whole magnetic force thingy, but the mind part was in there for a reason. Dude was smart. Whatever they had come up with, he’d found a way around it like it was baby's first puzzle game. Sometimes she wondered if he had a secondary power set they weren’t aware off. Something beyond playing the world’s most annoying magnet. Either way, fact of the matter was that as long as the heroes had no clue what he was trying to accomplish they’d keep playing catch-up. And they didn’t.

But she did.

And it was time to take matters into her own hands. Enough with being considerate and waiting for others to get a clue. Not when they were clearly still playing Frustration. It was time to Scrabble the board and put down a quixotry. Time to show she needed no saving throw. Just some common sense. But first things first.

A nap

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She sat herself down on the plastic folding chair in the middle of the empty warehouse. Having checked everything trice over, and then once more just to be sure. Unlike some people she learned not to underestimate others. This was going to go exactly as planned. Probably. And at the end everyone would walk away from this better for it. Or at least less future kidnappy. Or she'd swear this would turn into her villain origin story. And no one would want that. She wielded the scariest powers of all. Unrelenting grudges and the I am very disappointed in you frown that all women on her mother's side were experts at. It had made many an adult ashamed of themselves throughout the years. It practically bordered on crimes against humanity.

Still, it wouldn't do to get ahead of herself. She'd try the reasonable approach first. Or at least the moderately functional one.

It took about half an hour before she heard one of the side doors open with a loud groan. And then disconnect from its hinges. Followed by a deep, low curse and finally the scrape of metal against stone as door met wall. Its new resting place.

Her bestie, everyone. Mr subtlety himself. Good thing he hadn't been given a stealth power, because oh brother, Bear. And yet, she wouldn't have him any other way.

"Darlin'?" he rumbled upon spotting her and rushed over to check on her. "Are y'okay? I was so worried. The message was weird and I wasn't sure if it was you or not. Seemed too early for 'nother attempt, and usually he doesn't use your phone, but—"

"Bear." She patted his large arm to stop his rambling and frantic checking for wounds and bindings. "I'm fine. Stop fussing and sit down," she said, and waved at the chair behind him to her left.

He checked her over again, but as she was obviously unharmed and utterly calm. Not her usual state of annoyed at being taken. He did as she asked, although reluctant. And not solely because of the somewhat too small chair for his huge frame.

Even after all these times he still fretted needlessly. Not like she'd ever gotten hurt on these involuntary excursions. She'd at least give Magnemind that much. He was as gracious a host as an abductor could be to their ill-gotten guest. Speaking of whom.

"Would you like to join us down here? The chair is not as uncomfortable as it looks. Okay, no, it is. But the sooner you get your butt in it, the sooner we can all be done with this, and hopefully collectively move on with our lives."

Sam stared at her in confusion. Clearly wondering if this was the long afeared mental breakdown they kept expecting her to have – she didn't do breakdowns, too busy throwing the superpowered lemons back in the life manager's face, thank you very much – or this was indeed some kind of code he wasn't following.

"How do I know this isn't some sort of entrapment?"

The voice echoed around the wide space as if coming from everywhere, like a poor rendition of phantom of the warehouse. Good thing they were lacking big light fixtures hanging from easily to untether ceilingwear.

Sam instantly braced upon hearing Magnemind's voice. Teeth bared and nails sharpening into claws as he jumped up from his seat. Toppling the folding chair over

She paid it no mind however. Instead looking up at the rafters above them, where the shadows were just deep enough to hide a lanky magnetic man.

"You've been sticking up there since before I got here. If this was a trap you'd have spotted it by now. And Bear came alone. As you are well aware from the surveillance cams you put up outside. Plus I went through the trouble of dragging some fully plastic chairs in here, so they wouldn't stick to your butt if you get a bit carried away and activate your abilities. Besides I think you owe me one all things considered, so come down here and stop being so theatrical."

"What're you doin'?" Bear whisper-rumbled incredulous. Clearly not happy with any of this. Ever more questioning her sanity.

"Solving this mess. Now sit down, please. I may have all day, but I'd much prefer to get home in time to watch my shows."

"You don't watch TV." Bear grumbled.

"Hush you, random youtube essays are shows too."

He uprighted the chair with a sigh and once again sat down ever so daintily, so as not to break it with his bulk. He knew not to bother trying to convince her to leave or stop whatever she had planned. They had been besties long enough to know that he may be the big strong superhero to everyone else, she was the unmovable force in this friendship. Especially when she dug her claws in.

Luckily it seemed that Magnemind had picked up as much too from their time together. For he didn't make her wait either. Slowly floating down from the ceiling shadows until he was seated on her right, across from Bear.

What followed was a grumpy stare off between the two opponents. Not unlike two pouty school children sitting in detention. Both convinced the other was the one to blame for their predicament. She barely avoided spraining her eyes with all the rolling she was doing. To think anyone took either of them seriously. Good thing she didn't, or they'd never get out of this mess.

"So, we're going to have a grown up conversation, between grownups, like grownups. No more taking the other one's toy because we never learned to use our words like big boys. Especially not since the toy is damn tired of it. We're going to talk this through and when we walk out of here you're either going to have this shit worked out, or find another way to get each other’s attention that doesn't include me."

"’m not the problem here, he’s."

"Excuse you, but I did not start this. And I am not taking any toys. And I am without a doubt in possession of a larger vocabulary than—"

She swatted them both on the forehead with the cardboard tube of a former roll of wrapping paper that she pulled out from under her chair. Wrapping paper which she may or may not have bought, unrolled, and carefully stashed for later use just so she had something harmless, but satisfying, to smack them with when they were being obnoxious. Which she knew they would be.

"You. Stop interrupting me. I know you had no say in this, but your bungling of getting it solved, and never clarifying what we are when asked, didn't help matters. So let me talk." She told Bear with a glare, but his instant sheepish look of regret made it once again hard to stay annoyed at him.

"And you. Do not argue the size of your vocabulary or anything else for that matter. I don't care what's in there. You may not have started it, but I'm finishing it. And the least you can do is to listen to me monologue for a change," she added, waving the tube in his face to show she was willing to bop him again if needed.

His eyes flitted from her, to the former retainer of festive paper under his nose, to Sam, and back. Not entirely sure what to make of this situation.

She was probably the only person in the city who had the nerve to lecture and carboardly assault both a beloved hero and rising villain. It was just hard to still feel intimidated when you'd been friends for years with one, and been timeshared out to the latter on a frequent basis. The shine wore off eventually.

Finding no further argument in either of them she continued.

"Now, as I was saying. First things first. He and I? Not. A. Thing." she said, gesturing with the tube between her and Sam for emphasis.

"Oh, please. I have told you before your little act is less than convincing. Not when you spend all your time together outside of work, and he comes running as soon as I tell him I have you. And— Ow, stop hitting me with that thing." He rubbed his head as if it had hurt anything beyond his pride.

"Then stop being an ass and not listening. And it's called friendship, you walnut," she grumbled.

"How do you know what I do outside of work?" Sam asked, mouth twitching in that way she knew spelled rising embarrassment.

Magnemind flushed as he briefly made eye contact with the hero across from him and looked away. "Never mind," he mumbled, "it's just... don't take me for a fool. Friends aren't that close."

She wasn't sure to feel annoyed at his refusal to listen, or sad for the fact he couldn't even imagine such closeness. Which may say more about his life than he probably meant it to.

Maybe both. Definitely both.

"Tell, him." She motioned at the villain while looking pointedly at Sam. Maybe Magnemind would believe him about the friend thing. And the rest really wasn’t hers to share without permission. But all her friend did was give her that puppy dog look again. The one that was halfway lost cub and halfway pleading golden retriever. The one he had perfected over the years and basically was friend speak for, help! I’m a conversationally challenged awkward nugget and need you to take over the talking here!

How a man that big and strong, a brave professional hero no less, could be such a doofus in social interactions was beyond her. Or it would be if it hadn't been the same since he was the big, bulky new kid in school who got cornered by the playground bullies. Unable to defend himself verbally, and too unsure of his strength to risk doing it psychically. Six year old her had taken charge and defended him then – by dumping an entire bottle of dirty toilet water on the bullies, much to their horror – as she ever did since. It was how they worked and she could never let him down. Even if it was awkward and silly. He was still her friend and it was his choice. At least she had the standing permission to tease him about it later though. Bestie privileges and all.

"Fine. Okay, we’ve got this.” She turned back to Magnemind. “We are that close because we've been friends for ages and because we've been through a lot. Also because we're two of the same.'

"Same what?'

"Look, Sam here was called a bear long before the media coined it as his hero name. If you get my drift."

"What, that doesn't make any— oh. Oh."

And the penny finally dropeth.

Magnemind's eyes widened dramatically, and humorously, as he took in the new information. Staring at her now thoroughly blushing friend. A bushy beard could only hide so much.

"So, now we're on the right track. Let's do proper introductions, kay? Magnemind, meet my friend Sam. He looks intimidating but he's an utter softy at heart. Single and looking, but incredibly clueless as to when someone is flirting with him. Also a blushing shy mess when he fancies someone."

Sam whined at her words, but didn't contradict her. It was all the truth after all. And he did want her to do the talking.

"Sam, meet John Steward."

"How do you know my name?!"

She stared at him. Deadpan. "I work as a fact checker for newspaper journalists, some of whom are chronically allergic to research. You don't think I know my way around a search engine? Now shush, don't make me bop you again. We're getting somewhere here."

He shrunk in his seat. Probably more from her knowing his identity than the not so dreaded cardboard weaponry.

"As I was saying. Sam, meet John. Gremlin human in equal need of social skills, whose idea of pining is apparently abducting their crush's friend, in hopes of just getting to spend five minutes mooning in the presence of their love interest. While lamenting their assumed unrequited and doomed love."

This time it was Magnemind's turn to imitate the culinary ingredient of contested classification, as he hid his face in his suit's scarf. Unable to refute the truth. And Bear's turn to process the new info. They were almost circled through this mess and whatever happened afterwards hopefully would no longer include her.

"So, for the record. We've got two single men in this room who are both very much interested in the men loving men category. And in the humble opinion of someone who has spent significant time with both – even if sometimes under clearly voiced protest – they'd be an exceedingly good match interests and personality wise. If they can both get over their crippling shyness and self-sabotage as queer doofuses, that is. Doofuses who both have zero clue about potential interest pointed in their direction unless they're smacked on the head with it."

She couldn't resist thumping them both again to the sound of mutual embarrassed groans.

"Now lastly. Before I go get an in my opinion more than well-deserved rest, some interesting facts. First let me point out that someone in this room mainly turned to villainy because people kept discriminating against him, refusing to let him study the area of his natural skills, and harassing him over it. Also that to date his worst crime has been to liberate certain property and donate it to the less fortunate. That and some negligible cases of kidnapping with zero bodily harm, just a considerable amount of annoyance." She glared at the villain. Who at least had the decency to look contrite.

"Charges which can be ignored on account of the sole victim being magnanimously willing to withdraw any complaints. If they are compensated with a few good meals and the accused doing their best not to make their friend unhappy," she added, before glancing to her left.

"I will also remind the room that reforming a former villain would be excellent PR for any hero. Especially if down the line the public got a chance to, as we say, ship it. They could very easily claim responsibility and supervision of said reform. Which obviously would require a lot of time spent together to oversee the villain's adjustment back to a productive member of society.”

The boys were now both blushing messes. But they were smiling blushing messes. And by the way they were exchanging flustered glances, her work here was nearly done.

"Lastly, just randomly musing here you understand. But one could certainly see what the combined power of a star couple of powerful and beloved heroes could accomplish in societal changes. If they put their brilliant mind and golden retriever charm to it. Just something to ponder."

She pushed herself up from her seat, brandishing her papery magic wand of fairy godfriendery. "Well, I'll leave you two to your enemies to lovers shenanigans."

She nodded to Magnemind. "John it was nice seeing you, but if I don't get advanced warning of future meet ups I'm not responsible for any contact between my shoe and your leg."

"Sam, I love you, but next time sort out your own love life. Being a disaster gay doesn't hinge on being entirely clueless. If you bring home any more strays that use me as a game of telephone flirting, I'm perma-stitching big neon rainbow patches in all your clothes. Including the hero suits.” She patted him on the shoulder as she passed on her way to the exit.

"Now, have fun, and don't do anything I would do," she added, as a final goodbye as she walked away. Giving a last wave without looking back. No need to see the sickly sweet back and forth of blushing affection that was no doubt already going on behind her back.

Time for her to go get that well-deserved nap. She’d earned it. And hopefully it was the start of many more to follow. Now that this mess was finally sorted out.

Until the next one probably. She had no doubt

And as she walked out the doorway, with its lack of door, the last thing she heard before passing out of hearing range was:

"Uhm, has anyone ever told you that you're uh, un-bear-ably handsome?"

"Heh, no. But you're very attractive."

And thus no good deed ever goesth unpunished.

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Postscript:

She blinked her eyes as the bag got pulled off her head, undoubtedly scarecrowifying her hair. Really? This again?

"John, love of my bestie’s life, Steward! I swear to the fridge magnets of old if we are back to this, your shins are going to acquire some new decora— oh you're not John."

The person across from her blinked owlishly. Literally. On account of the owl features on their face. "No, I am not he."

"Ok... so...?"

"Oh! My sincerest apologies. I should introduce myself. I am an acquaintance of Magnemind. My name is—"

"Duskowl, yes. One of the ones Bear and Magnemind are trying to recruit. I mean "reform". I know. My question is more why am I here. Wherever here is."

"This is my lair and I invited you here to be my mate."

"Excuse you?!"

"Oh, uhm. Magnemind gave me your contact information and said to me you were open to courtship. Including one such as me?"

"Look birdie, I'm flattered and all that. And I do swing all ways but this is a bit— Oh, oh no. John gave you dating advice didn't he?"

"Yes. He explained all about how he had wooed his mate."

"I bet he freaking did."

"Although he pressed upon me the importance of not abducting any significant people in your life. Especially not Bear. Not if I did not wish to lose my feathers and find out just how realistic The Owls of Ga'Hoole film was. Which I do not. But I would never dare touch my mentors in such a way "

"So you just abducted me instead. On my way to work. Per his advice."

"Yes."

"That's it! Next time I see him, magnet boy is getting a time out in an empty room while I rearrange his entire collection of novelty magnets."

Halfway across the city, John "Magnemind" Steward got a sudden chill down his back accompanied by an unexplained feeling of dread and impending doom.

#my writing #short story #prompt fill #superheroes #super villians #queer shenanigans #mutual pining idiots in love #this MC just popped right out of my brain and would not be stopped #no I do not regret all the silliness but yes I will blame it all on them #curtsey of @aka-click who apparently learned to get a better handle on my muse than I do #also yes I seem to be chronically unable to not write a little after bit #don't ask me I just live here in this brain

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variousqueerthings · 5 months

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according to letterboxd i've watched 261 films this year (not counting un-logged films and the couple of weeks left to go)

so despite being tripped up in my plans by suddenly speedrunning doctor who these last couple of months, it's not been a bad year on the whole:

watched my first horror exploitation films -- "cannibal holocaust" and "last house on the left." I cannot say this genre will ever be a favourite, but there is a fascination to the uncomfortable feeling of realism in both of these

overall I watched much less horror this year, partially because I spent october travelling, so didn't do my usual one-per-day themed watch. out of these "lair of the white worm," (generally want to go down more of a ken russell rabbithole next year) "ravenous," (the best cannibal film that nobody's ever seen) and "nightbreed" (the other clive barker directed, which, listen, it may have flaws but it doesn't I tell you, this is a perfect movie!!!) stood out the most, but was also positively surprised by both "return of the living dead" (which, yes, was schlock, but very enjoyable schlock) and "the ritual" (I was expecting to like the ritual, but not for it to feel incredibly personal somehow -- the underrated of the two horrors I know of about english-speaking tourists with trauma trying to recover in the swedish wilderness, by far my favourite!)

also, finally watched the original "the exorcist" which... argh, you know when people say "this thing is really good" and you go sureeeee whatever, it's ruined by the hype and the way you talk about it makes me think I'm not gonna like it, and then you watch it and it's really good dammit!

also, i was convinced I watched "nope" last year, but it may be this year. I watched it three times this year, and I didn't log it last, so that means I get to go ohhhhh "nope" is just a movie of all time, it deserves the future cult status it's gonna have, I've been yelling about it with @le-red-queen because finally finally someone I know has also watched it why does it feel like my friends are sleeping on this film????

also! "prey"!!!!! ohhhhh the future of horror looks bright! my favourite predator film, including the first one. it made my brain buzz, it was beautiful, it's incredibly blunt statement that the predator is barely a threat compared to rapidly expanding colonialism, the lead's journey is stellar and painful and punch-the-air and... great film

I got to spend a lot of january watching a film festival that centred on movies by indigenous people "from Turtle Island and around the world" (as it says on the website -- definitely and understandably mainly around america and canada). favourite of these was "honey moccasin" a fascinating little comedy movie that maybe predictably hooked me because it also had a queer focus within its portrayal of community

also at a local queer film festival, got to see "wildhood" a movie about a gay multiethnic mi’kmaw teen, who goes on a roadtrip looking for his mother -- think this is probably one that would be difficult to find otherwise, so youknow... check out local film festivals you never know what you'll see!

have gone on several rambles about "great freedom" and "joyland," movies that I watched relatively close together that have basically haunted me all year, acting as comparisons to nearly everything else I've seen -- think they've put ideas about queer stories in my head that are exemplified in a lot of queer writing and avant garde film-making, but often isn't seen on such a big scale, budget and quality-wise (this not to say the small-budget films are less worthy, it was just a bit heady to get to see these two and be blown over by their largeness). also something about a film that takes place in post-wwii germany and a film that takes place in modern-day pakistan feeling like they belong together to me. they're thematic, philosophical, political kin

got to go deeper into todd haynes, with "safe" and "poison" (yes yes we're super late to the todd haynes dive, but sometimes you just want to rewatch velvet goldmine a million times forever, so it takes you awhile to get to his other greatest hits). very excited to watch his latest film, sad i can't see it in theatres

watched quite a few queer documentaries, including "lotus sports club" (about a football club in indonesia run by a trans man, that provides a safe place to lesbians and trans boys), "you don't know dick" (interviews with trans men in the 90s), rose von praunheim's "transexual menace" (a sprawling, seemingly random depiction of trans people in the US -- a million amazing portraits), and "kokomo city" (a documentary about black trans women sex workers, directed by d smith, who is herself a black trans woman, music producer, excellent writer -- the way this movie is edited is so Vivid and you can tell there's so much freedom to really say things than in work that isn't community led. the philosophy, the politics, chatting while in the bath, that familiarity, that openness!)

in more classic musical news, got to see "the court jester" (only mildly a musical), "on the town" and its thematic successor "it's always fair weather," (gene kelly on rollerskates), and fiddler on the roof (finally) -- enjoyed all of them! shockingly low on musicals this year, but I intend to get inspired by @fabiansociety's list for the upcoming one

a few surprises for me were "streets of fire," which I've become mildly obsessed with, for being simply The Coolest Film you never watched as a kid (baby willem dafoe biker gang leader + music written by the guy who wrote for meatloaf and fleetwood mac??) it's just a straightup good time and also did this thing of writing a male role, casting a woman in it, and accidentally giving us a butch lesbian (with a line to make it seem like she had a boyfriend one time, but like... that doesn't take away her butch cred),

and also scorsese's "kundun," which I had no idea what to make of, because it didn't feel like a scorsese film at all. I think I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with scorsese in that I think his movies are frequently gorgeous, but his focus is almost always to the left of the people that interest me (that is, everyone around the white guys with guns who yell a lot). kundun is about the dalai lama and it is. very very anti-violence in its depiction of the invasion of tibet, because the POV is a pacifist who's shielded from seeing the violence, so the three scenes that briefly depict it are all the more shocking. and like... scorsese seems to have been coming at this movie from the perspective of education/plea for the freeing of tibet? which, yay, but... unexpected movie, that is all. also they speak english, although the actors are tibetan, including the grand nephew of the dalai lama portraying the dalai lama (I think this movie shouldn't be in english, but that is very cool). strange film, definitely watched a bootleg dvd copy with a completely wack aspect ratio that I couldn't format on the screen, but sometimes that's how you've gotta see something

a few classics. saw "jeanne dielman" for the first time, then utterly failed to describe it for everyone I talked about it with. I feel like saying "three hour long movie about a woman's repetitive life that is slowly, but surely, about to explode" is... idk, maybe it's going too much into detail. pointing out the static camera, the near-lack of dialogue, the scenes that simply consist of her sitting, and people instinctively go "oh that's a gimmick." but I also think if one can herald something like "orphee" or anything bergman did or "stalker," then this is not so off-putting (I found stalker to be a lot harder to focus on actually, which surprised me considering its subject matter). I know a lot smarter people than me have pointed out that what may truly be disturbing to people is the fact that we're following a life in such detail that isn't considered a valuable/interesting life to follow, especially not for so long. and that is... well that is just our internalised sexism. it's a good movie

this turned out quite long, but wanted to sit with some of these movies for a bit. I'd rec all of them, depending on personal preference and limitations

#i think next year.... well i have a list ofc so there's the list #but specifically east and south asian cinema was quite lacking this year #watched a few favourites + another wong kar wai + joyland but i didnt go as deep as id have wanted to #and then also musicals would be nice #death in the gunj im still gonna see if i can get in this year #there's a few films that also really sat with me that i havent mentioned here because... idk.... indescribable feelings #i also had a point for truffaut but tumblr decided to cut me off after 14 for some reason? wouldn't let me hit post on anything longer so 😂#400 blows and small change were the ones -- movies with a focus on children's rights #literally wouldn't let me write any more within the points either... this is new...#cinema #film #queer cinema #me

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