#seriously why am i doing this to myself

[yingxtkm]

Hello I am once again putting myself in hell for absolutely no reason. Feel free to drop a character under the post or in my ask box and I’ll choose one. No promises I’ll finish it tho LMAOO as per usual

I also have an old version I never finished so there’s that lmao maybe I should fix that one first

#grabby hands #gimme all the characters right nyeoowww #don’t be shy #seriously why am I doing this to myself #i don’t know #no promises on finishing it tho fr #asks #ask box #doodle requests #six fanarts #six characters #fanart #doodle

[chodzacaparodia]

#oops i did it again #seriously why am i doing this to myself #romance books #bookworm life #books and libraries #ya books #na books #memes #bookslover #reading #books #kim holden #tillie cole #john green #brittainy c. cherry #adam silvera

[allagogtoreblog]

#eddie x reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie x you #eddie munson x you #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes x you #steve harrington x reader #daryl dixon x reader #spencer reid x reader #cheating #angst #why do i do this to myself #why is my brain like this #am i the only one? #seriously every single scenario ends with them cheating

[deluweil]

In continuation to this post - I said before that in 3x15 it was raining and there was a lightning strike that collapsed the well on top of Eddie, while Buck was outside jumping with Bobby to the ground to avoid being hit.

When the dust settles, so to speak, it occurs to Buck almost immediately that Eddie is now in grievous danger and tries to get to him.

3x15:

From what I see on the promo and the bts photos, Eddie will be thrown clear from the aerial's controls while Buck is up on the aerial.

Buck up on the aerial:

Raining, Eddie gets thrown clear:

Eddie is in protective gear, and it's not a direct hit, as can be seen clearly. My speculation?

Bobby will go to Eddie to see if he's OK, but Eddie will get up quickly and try to get to Buck - the aerial is conductive, it's more than likely that Buck will be hurt by the electric current from the lightning strike.

So I'm guessing or hoping that we will get a frantic Eddie and maybe a parallel to this:

#I'm literally holding my breath #why am i doing this to myself? #but seriously it feels so tangible #logical even #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #bobby nash #I'm betting on a 3x15 - 6x10 parallels #i can feel it #speculation is fun #is it march yet? #911 spoilers #911 speculation #911 fox #911 on fox #my edits

[ghosts-cyphera]

as someone who has never set foot in the US, writing a story based in LA is so hard, because I'm obsessed with realistic details but I don't know any ?? like do they have pigeons in LA? I know they have pigeons in New York but maybe they hate LA, lmao. what if I mention pigeons and everyone who's ever been to LA will sue me? also where do people live? would higher middle-class people have studios in apartment buildings? where would those apartment buildings be? does the layout look anything like it does in New York for example, or is it completely different? like would you have a cozy apartment building with a street in front of it and then another similar building straight across from it? I'm PANICKING

#like how do I even begin to google any of this #I mean #the pigeon question is relatively easy I ADMIT but seriously omg #why did I do this to myself haha #lo talks #don't worry I'm not actually this dumb #JK yes I am wtf #should've based it in europe

[jordaninthevalley]

right back at the age of asking google embarassing questions and then turning around and taking multiple "am i (sexuality)?!" quizzes to try and figure my shit out.

would 12 year old me be disappointed we're still doing this, or would they be happy that we're still dedicated to figuring out who we are?

I wish I could ask them.

#JITV Not SDV Related #but seriously how do i figure out who I am #like why can't i just ask myself a question and give myself a certain answer? #Oh well #this is all part of being queer ig #and I wouldn't trade my queerness for the world #queer #asexual #maybe #idk man everything is strange

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

whyyyyy are dog people so obsessed with their pet taking a shit...

#im. Confused. bc seriously why! what is it! #we have had this dog for One Full Day and the amount of times #that my stepdad has felt the need to regale me with her using the bathroom on a walk #is. well frankly its Insufferable and i Want It To Stop #like respectfully! affectionately! I Do Not Care! Hush! Cease! Good For Her! None Of My Business! #i am learning so quickly that im solidly a cat person #i do not enjoy having a Wet Beast! dogs are fine when they're not in my house! #me and my cats are like... living in my room now #i almost said Our room. well. that wouldnt be wrong at this point #absolutely unprompted #i can live with snakes i can live with lizards i can live with birds #but dogs? theyre just so much... too much... #sensory nightmares! big and loud and smelly and slobbery and their fur feels weird and theyre so Pushy- #i could handle it if it was a uh... a Sensible dog! #but this is a golden retriever mixed with a samoyed i believe! #that is not a sensible dog thats a 'i will force myself into your personal space' dog #sorry. sorry. im just not very happy with this development lmao #but its not my house not my decision and my stepdad needed an affectionate furry friend #he's happy! good! i can keep my mouth shut about my deep displeasure! #cats are so neat and clean and just sweet little packages of delight... i need to be in a room full of kittens STAT

[robo-milky]

Mandatory Cat Day Doodle!! 很重要!!

#why do I do this to myself? I am a masochist #so like seriously- I cannot get myself to rest #for my CN fans- I think ri sounds better than using tian #my art #twst #twisted wonderland #twst art #twisted wonderland art #rook hunt #twst rook #twst fanart #twisted wonderland fanart #ツイステ #ツイステッドワンダーランド #ツイステファンアート #ルーク・ハント #cat scribblez 🌸

[deoidesign]

Are you slowly going insane over your OWN ocs?

No, I've been infected by brainworms the entire time. Nothing slow about it.

But honestly, no... It's not really about my characters to me. I love my characters, of course, and I love telling stories, and I hope to keep making art of my characters every day until I die.

But it's not about them! They're not REALLY what I love, what I love is people! And I hope I can leave the world with a hundred different love letters so my readers can feel how much I love them for even one day longer than I am here.

My characters are a conduit through which I can give that to people. I want nothing more than to make someone feel a little more loved, a little more seen, and a little less alone. And my characters are the best way I know how to do that.

So for that, they're incredibly important to me... But they're not for me. They're for you!

So I hope you enjoy them

and I hope you can feel that I love you through them.

#personally I dont like to use the word insane to describe myself or others #I struggle with many things but when it comes to my characters #I am nothing but concrete #determined #and absolutely positively headstrong through and through. #I don't take myself too seriously #And I don't hold too much sacred that I do #I really just want to make the world slightly better #for even one person #anyways. #asks #izzy-fishy #oh this is also why I hate like... advertising #and locking anything behind a paywall #and just. all of that stuff #I wish I could just make money drawing whatever and everything I do were free with no issues #but the best way for me to pay my bills and make more art is for some of it to be for money... so. #unfortunately I dont get to truly live my dream #where I spend all day teaching people how to draw and making them art they love #ALAS!!! #capitalism

[2bu]

im sorry but am i supposed to know who sent this lmao

edit: btw if this is anyone who i think it could be i think it's weird and hypocritical for you to continue to perpetuate stalker behavior towards me despite me making my own boundaries /very/ clear, especially if you've found yourself blocked by me. crazy how you guys continue to treat me this way and continue to assert that I'm the bad guy 👍🏼

#ducky.txt #why be anonymous when you could send it to my face? or is it because you're blocked? who knows! <3 #in all seriousness again its like. am i supposed to know who sent this? this could be about anyone and even then i dont... care #not that much #i think this is weirdo behaviour to do when i can't even pin down who could've sent this when it could be ANYONE #good for you though! can't say the same bc again: idk you #anyways i deleted it bc idk why you'd bother me this way when ive said and done fuck all but stick to myself and corpse pit/yuri club #i wouldn't go out of my way to do this to someone knowing they'd see it on christmas. it's not very nice nor very comforting. so win for yo #ig? #ig??? idk

[tennesseee-whiskey]

No because Ava told Beatrice "I told you not to follow me" in the final episode, but Beatrice had already promised that "We will never leave you" when Ava revealed that her biggest fear is being "alone, abandoned, with no one" in 1x08 and I am fucking losing it right now

#seriously i am bawling #why am i doing this to myself #rewatching warrior nun is causing me heartache #avatrice #warrior nun #ava silva #ava and beatrice #sister beatrice #warrior nun season two #ava x beatrice #beatrice #warrior nun season 2 #warrior nun season 1

[sluttyten]

My afraid-of-romance ass has just been asked by another regular customer for my number and the stupid thing is that again I do think this guy is kinda cute and I really probably should say yes

#the fear tho lmao #what am I afraid of? I have no fucking clue #this is why I’m still questioning my sexuality lol like what am I? do I even actually like guys? do I like anyone? #in an existential spiral at the moment #but honestly why do they always ask for my number #like dude just give me yours and let me make the decision when you’re not right here in front of me #but I felt bad telling him no today just because the last time a customer asked and I said yes I almost immediately regretted it #and then that didn’t work out because I thought he was too young #young* and now he still sometimes comes by and I just feel awkward about it #maybe I should turn to Facebook and see if I can find him because I have set an age limit for myself and I really don’t want to entertain #anyone younger than that #but I’m……… I know I’m like never active in here anymore #but I just needed to talk about this somewhere #because any of my coworkers would probably tell me I’m being ridiculous or they’d just seriously keep questioning why I keep saying no to #customers that hit on me and my best friend would probably also not get it #idk y’all I just needed to rant about it/talk about it #anyway I’m definitely gonna stress over this until tomorrow #and I’m gonna feel really bad if he stops coming by

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

.

#tw suicide #no seriously heed the tw this is probably upsetting i just. i need to say it somewhere and i will not say it to my family. #puddleglum hours #personal #its just i was thinking. #tother day the doctor asked: do you regret it? about the suicide attempt tuesday night. #and i said something that i still feel: if i regret anything about it it's that i didn't succeed. #they're talking of discharging me tomorrow or something and im just. #what do i need to do to be kept in for longer?! damn it all i *know* how i could kill myself in here. #but i don't want to. i need them to save me #because i can't save myself! if they discharge me tomorrow i think it very likely ill be dead before the end of the week! or at least in #hospital from another attempt! this new med has made me more numb but the thoughts haven't gone away just muted. and then. #at times like this im perfectly wild about it! i cannot keep myself alive i need them to do it for me! #but when ive seen the doctor each time its been when im exhausted and numb and i don't care but that is not the case always. #i don't know. i don't see a good outcome any which way. #hopefully tomorrow the doctor sees me at a time when im feeling like this i think. #because i think i need to tell them. but i don't know how or even if it matters #and sometimes i just want to die. #im so tired of living guys. why #editing to add i am still on hiatus and if you want to contact me and know my discord contact me there #so i will not be responding to anything here for this moment at least

[seventh-district]

not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go

(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)

#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill #well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst #like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc. #so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made #bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you #but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings #and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste #there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc #so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously) #but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything #if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is #which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose #anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate. #and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic! #if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it. #like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages #or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing #i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know #it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess #as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence #the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education #i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is- #writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl- #will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype #sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen #there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions #like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of- #'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity #like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem #but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.

[solradguy]

Whenever I see someone being transphobic on twt in a bridget thread i reply with three pictures of my mains: ky kiske from ac+r, ky kiske from rev 2, and ky kiske from strive.

it self selects for people who actually play the game. it’s canon that he’ll fight off transphobes with the blade. and if they actually played guilty gear they’d get the underlining messages

While it can be really funny to bully these guys back, please keep in mind that nothing you can say or do to these people will hurt them or waste as much of their time as what they say will stick with you or waste your time. It might be funny to send them a bunch of Ky pictures, but what they're doing is laughing that the only response the people they hate can give them is sending a bunch of pictures of anime boys.

The only thing that works is blocking them. They've turned being an asshole into a recreational sport and getting any sort of response in return is a victory for them.

#asks #Unfortunately I was an asshole on the internet once (not a vicious transphobe just a basic internet asshole) #I know exactly how these people function because I was there once... #When you don't take the person you're arguing with seriously it's very easy to laugh at every single thing they do #Which is what these guys are doing. It doesn't matter how well thought out the counter argument is. They don't care and they won't care #All you can hope for is that they're young and they grow out of it (I did) #I feel bad for them because I think about what led to me being like that decades ago. Are they going through the same thing? #I was like that because I was in a hopeless situation and hated myself and hated everyone else #People arguing back just proved my point that everything sucked and my hate was justified #It's an awful feedback loop. People being kind to me felt disingenuous. Why should they be kind? I hated them. They had no reason to be nic #I had to get to a point where I was willing to help myself crawl out of that pit before I let anyone else even get near me emotionally #I still remember the day when I realized I was being a fucked up little shit to everyone lol #Early June 2011. It was sunny with no clouds and there was a cool breeze. I was listening to In This Moment and I realized #'What the hell am I doing? Do I want to be like this forever? Get your shit together man' #It was a slow process from there but I did get out of it. Slowly. Very slowly. #There's a lot I did that I regret and can't ever apologize for because it was so long ago and the names and faces are gone now #Apologizing at this point would be selfish and only for my benefit anyway. I can only hope that what I did didn't hurt people permanently #Anyway. I've never talked about this on here before because it's the kinda shit that gets put on callout posts out of context #So. I am laying my naked soul bare and raw for the sake of underlining my original point: Internet trolls don't care

[sacrilegiousoul]

real personal but hey chat am i an abuser & manipulator for trying to get someone to understand how their actions hurt me, how their behavior sometimes is somewhat inconsiderate and emotional support one-sided, but that’s me calling myself a victim even though I’ve always been able to admit my wrongdoings and where it’s been my fault and correct my behavior try to be better etc. also me trying to talk about very real personal issues that is vulnerable to me, my mental health issues is “too much” and i should just “get over it, grow up” but whenever its about their mental problems i suddenly have to understand everything and why and how i have to be so they don’t react differently & always there to talk about whatever they’re going through. also my hobbies and interests could never be talked about, only theirs mainly or whatever few interests we shared. trying to get them to acknowledge this without berating me and trying to paint me as the worst person ever is draining. yeah i’ve been struggling horribly this past year, so fucking bad. the past five years it’s been great together bc i usually keep everything to myself and I don’t push my issues onto anyone else, hate being a burden but i thought i could go them since this year has been absolute hell for me bc we are “best friends” yk for some understanding, support, love, just someone to talk to me. I bear my soul to them but all I get is nah I just need to get over myself i guess and they know ive been neglected horribly during childhood that’s the worst part. i wish i could just get over it all lmaoooo wish it was that easy fr

#I never do this lol #i never post anything abt myself on anything but atm im just ranting bc i have no one else lmao #seriously am I the problem here #yuhhh i think i need to cut them off for good #this friendship feels one sided #I always end up hurt but do what they want to keep them pleased so yeah idk if this is good lmao #why am i always told my emotions are too much or wrong but everyone else’s is valid #like what’s up with that rn its happened so much recently