#she wrote this in 1950 lol

[disceautdiscede]

At once the difficulty, and the hope, of our special time in this world of Western Europe and America is that we have been brought up for many generations in the belief, however tacit, that all humanity was almost unanimously engaged in going forward, naturally to better things and to higher reaches.

-Katherine Anne Porter, The Future is Now

#katherine anne porter #the future is now #quotes #lit #humanity #she wrote this in 1950 lol

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Brigitte Bardot (Contempt, And God Created Woman)—unbelievable charisma off the charts, post-war France could barely handle her because she just radiates sexuality in the deepest, hottest way. i've never seen a woman who fit so clearly in my head the "beautiful woman" category. also i'm including her little suit number because why not [pic below]

Vanessa Redgrave (Camelot)—Partially submitted as justice for her father, and you should all know her birth was announced to a theatre audience by Laurence Olivier. But for herself, she is a wild untameable beauty who was in some of the best avant garde cinema of the period.

This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Brigitte Bardot:

"Los Angeles Times in 2011 ranked her as the second most beautiful woman in film, she won a David di Donatello award and was nominated for a BAFTA. Literally nicknamed a sex kitten, she used her fame to promote animal rights. And God Created Woman was so scandalous to US audiences that some theater managers were arrested for screening it"

"She was a sex symbol and her style is influential even today"

"She's just so iconic! Wikipedia extracts because why not : "In 2011, Los Angeles Times Magazine's list of "50 Most Beautiful Women in Film" ranked her number two" "The Guardian named Bardot "one of the most iconic faces, models, and actors of the 1950s and 1960s" "According to the liner notes of his first (self-titled) album, musician Bob Dylan dedicated the first song he ever wrote to Bardot. " I mean of course she is iconic in France, but she inspired many women outside of France"

"She wasn't just a sex symbol because men found her attractive and then that imagine of her was further promoted. But she was actually one of (if not) the first women to stand for emancipated women in a sexual way in a time when women were considered to mainly exist to please their man. She was famous for portraying women who lived their sexuality for their own pleasure and knew what they wanted. Very important! And also what's hotter than a woman driving men wild because they don't even know how to handle a woman with her own ideas and needs lol"

Vanessa Redgrave propaganda:

#vanessa redgrave #brigitte bardot #hotvintagepoll #fuck that old woman #ladies 2

[br1ghtestlight]

because today is @seemoreseymoursbay minor and one-off character day i thought that i would share some of my thoughts and analysis on lily's younger brother ernest lombard. since he is a one-off character from season three and i have thought about him more than ANYBODY else in this fandom and that's a promise lol

he's five years younger than lily and alice got pregnant w/ him after billy returned from the war and they were kinda having a honeymoon 2.0 phase since she was so happy her husband was alive and safe. he was born in 1946

lily was VERY protective of her baby brother. he got picked on a lot by the neighborhood kids bcuz he was nerdy and kinda weak/feminine but because lily was older and not afraid of ANYTHING she would stand up for him against everybody at school and in their neighborhood. very louise and gene vibes in that sense (except lily actually is older than ernest lmao)

only alice and lily (and later bob when was born) called him ernie/uncle ernie. he did NOT like being compared to the sesame street character especially when he was a teenager. HE IS NOT A MUPPET >:(

he was more nerdy and shy/sensitive and kept to himself. not many friends outside of his sister and he mostly spent his childhood reading comic books and playing by himself in his bedroom. his parents were very understanding and supportive of him since they were both pretty progressive for their time in terms of gender roles

he LOVED superhero comics when he was a kid. still a secret passion of his as an adult and he collected them

he was devastated when his older sister moved away from home especially because he was going through his angsty high school years and he really needed her. they still phoned each other and wrote letters everyday and lily would visit when she was able <3

he was gay and it was really tough for him growing up in the 1950s and 60s with homosexuality not even being legalized. his family was as supportive as could possibly be expected for the time period (they didnt disown or abuse him) and lily didn't think any different of him when he told her (but she told him to kinda keep it on the down low for his safety) fortunately he lived in new york city so there was a bit of a community for him

he had a long term boyfriend throughout the 70s and 80s but unfortunately he died from aids/hiv during the crisis :( ernest never got into another relationship after that and that's why he died single with no kids. he also lost a lot of friendships it was really hard. poor guy!!!

never got along w/ big bob as he always felt that he was too cold/unloving/didnt talk enough and that he was stealing ernest's older sister from him (they started dating when ernest was like..... 14 so that teenage angst was expected) big bob would never be good enough for lily in his mind

he moved to new jersey with his bf when they were in their late 20s to be closer to lily & bob which is where he stayed until he died

he LOVED being an uncle and thought bob was so cute and funny and reminded him so much of himself at bob's age. absolutely adored the kid. unfortunately he stopped coming around as much when lily got sick so bob doesn't have too many memories of him :(

lily's death was really hard for him and he basically stopped talking to bob and big bob entirely after she died bcuz the reminder was too painful. bob tried to stay in contact but he was also a teenager so they just kinda..... fell out of touch. they hadn't talked in years when ernest died

he was always very empathetic and understanding towards people seen as different/unwanted by society due to being gay himself so he had a lot of sympathy and always tried to support homeless people drug addicts and the mentally ill etc. our differences do not define us type guy. he volunteered a lot at the homeless shelters after he retired and that's part of why he let chet stay in his storage unit for all those years (although chet actually WAS a seasonal employee at his department store) he felt real deep love and empathy for him </3 also protested the vietnam war with his big sis. very anti-racism compared to what was expected of white people at the time

always very quiet and socially awkward. it is true that bob got a lot of his personality from big bob but he got an equal amount from ernest tbh he just never knew him well enough to realize that about himself

tina also shares a lot of traits w/ ernest and had they known each other when he was alive i think they would have gotten along really well. he would have loved her erotic friend fiction and he actually wrote his own superhero comic fanfiction before that was an actual thing that ppl had a word for

always loved drawing but never very good at it. you could find doodles ALL over his tax stubs and receipts from work

he had a brief dream of becoming a comic book artist and he read all the new peanuts and archie comics when they released. billy would always bring them home from work for him to read

when he died he left pretty much everything he owned (which was.... not very much. he definitely wasn't very financially well-off after they bought out his department store to build the mall) to bob bcuz he was basically the only family that he had that was still alive. he never knew bob had kids but he did know about linda

he died of a heart attack in his 60s and nobody even found his body for a few days. his later years were very lonely

#txt #bob's burgers #headcanons #not even tagging any of the smsw tags this is literally NOTHING im just being unhinged #Love to study characters with a total of 0.5 seconds of screentime. bob's uncle frank you're next

[use-your-telescope]

When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 13: Things In Yourself That You Don't Understand

Summary: A series of strange and troubling events make Theo question if she’s losing her mind, or if something larger is at play. 

Author's Notes: Once again, we have a song split between two chapters - partially because the first half of the chapter is already 9,000 words, but also because I liked the pacing of splitting this into two chapters (and that it gives a lil’ cliffhanger at the end). I almost started this author’s note saying “Look, this is the first cliffhanger in the story!” and then I realized that the first chapter of this story is literally one massive cliffhanger. 😅 So uh, it’s not the first cliffhanger (but it’s also a much less extreme cliffhanger, lol).

I’ll be blunt: this chapter is heavier than most of the others. We’re starting to dig into some of the trauma and demons which haunt certain characters, as well as their coping mechanisms (some of which are not healthy by any stretch of the imagination). Please heed the content warnings, since there are some topics that can be tough for people to read about. All of these warnings are for the final part of the chapter, so if you’re not in a headspace to read heavy stuff, I’ll include a summary at the end, which will cover everything after the chunk of lyrics that start with “and it’s been a while since I wrote a song I liked.” 

Please take care of yourself <3

Content Warnings: Emotional angst, overconsumption of alcohol/alcohol poisoning, implied violence, a description of vomit/vomiting. 

Word Count: 9,009

Read on AO3 | When Everything's Made to be Broken Masterlist

Song: Talk About It - Paradise Fears

There are things in yourself  That you don’t understand While the weight’s on your shoulders And the phone’s in your hand, You tell me,

I don’t really wanna talk about it I don’t really wanna talk about it I don’t really wanna talk about it Right now, Right now 

Mercury may not have been in retrograde, but something was off.

It had been days since Theo had run into anyone eating breakfast in the kitchen, much less lunch or dinner. In the living room, the playstation controllers and television remote sat in the same place for so long that they would have left a dust imprint, if it weren’t for the cleaning bots that dusted on a regular basis. Whenever Theo trained in the gym, she had the entire place to herself. 

Every once in a while, Theo swore she heard footsteps in the hall, but each time she poked her head out the door she found no one. The only sign that anyone was staying in the tower was that the toaster had recently been replaced with one from the 1950’s, which seemed an attempt to prank someone.

But who? It didn’t seem like anyone else had seen the different toaster, and even if the prank was directed towards Theo… Well, there was no one around to laugh about it. Besides, the 1950’s? That didn’t make sense. Maybe it was a prank on Steve or Bucky, but even then, it should have been a toaster from the 1940’s…

Strangest of all, Theo walked into the regular team meeting to find everyone present. No one seemed particularly chatty, which was abnormal, and the moment the meeting ended, everyone scattered before Theo could say a word.

So if the Avengers were in New York, why was the tower so… empty? 

After a week of living in a ghost town, Theo switched to eating breakfast on her balcony; she figured that if she was alone, at least she could get some fresh air while she enjoyed a cup of coffee and read a book. Even so, Theo still checked the kitchen every morning in hopes of finding someone around. Sometimes she walked past a teammate’s door and heard movement inside. More often than not, Theo debated if she should knock. She quickly abandoned the idea when it came to mind, however - after all, Theo knew firsthand just how uncomfortable it could be when you wanted to be left alone, but someone forced their presence upon you.

Well, she quickly abandoned the idea for almost everyone. 

One night, Theo slipped into the kitchen to get a snack. On her way back, the haunting lament of a violin bled into the hallway. It pulled Theo past her door and further down the hall, until she stood in front of a familiar door.

Just across the threshold, Theo pictured the floor to ceiling bookcases stuffed with old tomes; she could close her eyes and see that on the center of one wall, a classic fireplace faced a dark leather sofa –  one which Theo always imagined would be the perfect place to lounge on a dark, rainy evening. She could picture the two wingback chairs upholstered in dark tweed that flanked the sofa, and the coffee table that looked like it was from the early 1900’s which anchored the space.

She pictured the suite’s owner standing near the fire, the glow of the flames illuminating sheet music as he played, long fingers pressed against strings, the bow sliding back and forth as he moved to the music.

 Loki.

Just before her knuckles made contact with the wood of the door, Theo froze. Disturbing such beautiful music felt like a crime. Besides, there were upcoming trade summits and international conferences to prepare for that probably contributed to Loki’s absence. That particular moment might have been the first bit of time Loki had to himself in days, and Theo didn’t want to take that from him.

So, despite the loneliness that had made a home in Theo’s chest, she let him be.

On the third morning of Theo’s new breakfast routine, she stepped outside to find she had company. A black bird perched on the railing - too small to be a corvid, however it shared trademark features from both ravens and crows that left Theo perplexed. The bird did not fly off when Theo sat down; instead, it hopped along the railing until it sat only a few inches away from Theo. Anytime Theo took a drink of her coffee or turned the page of her book, she expected the bird to do something - anything - but the bird remained firmly in place, watching Theo as she ate breakfast.

The bird returned the following morning, and the morning after that. By the fourth day, Theo started checking around the balcony to see if there was some sort of nest that the bird wanted to protect, because she couldn’t think of any other reason the bird would have been up there. She even got down on her hands and knees to check beneath the leaves of her assorted plants and all around the planters, and used a chair to climb up and look around the beams that supported the overhang. 

But the bird kept showing up.

One morning, Theo decided to trade out the book for a sudoku. As usual, the bird waited for Theo at its usual spot on the rail; however, when its eyes settled on the book and pencil in her hand, it cocked its head to the side.

“Well good morning to you too,” Theo sarcastically greeted. She settled into her chair and opened up the sudoku to a fresh page, then attempted to ignore the bird as she started working through which numbers went where on the grid. 

With a chirp, the bird stretched its wings and flew the short distance from the railing to the table. It hopped a bit closer to the book, head wobbling from side to side as if it were studying the page.

But it couldn’t have been reading - it was a bird. The fact Theo even considered the possibility made her wonder if she was going insane.

“Can I help you?” Theo cocked an eyebrow at the bird, thinking the bird might startle and fly off now that it was a bit closer to her.

Instead, the blackbird looked up at her, let out a squawk, and tried to peck at her hand. 

“What the fuck?” Theo recoiled in her seat and threw her hands up in a placating gesture; as the pair stared each other down, Theo swore the bird was about to attack her. She could just imagine that headline: “Avenger Pecked to Death by Mystery Bird!”  

God, maybe she really was losing her mind.

The blackbird tilted its head, almost like it wanted to test Theo’s reaction; when she remained frozen, it let out a chirp that she could have sworn sounded condescending, then it hopped forward and tapped twice on one of the squares. The bird glared at Theo, let out another chirp, then hopped back until it reached the far edge of the table. Theo gave the bird a wary glance before looking down at where it tapped. Theo already penciled in a four, but upon closer inspection, she realized the number in that square should be a two. With a quick spin of the pencil in her fingers, she erased the old number, then replaced it with a two; just as she lifted the pencil from the paper, the realization struck: the bird tapped the square twice.

The bird wasn’t trying to correct her… was it?

Nope. There was no way a bird could have read the puzzle and understood it.

Theo looked up to where the bird sat, but by then it was gone. As she stared at the empty space left behind, Theo wondered how the hell the bird managed to fly off without making a sound.

She shook her head and returned to her puzzle, all the while ruminating over the odd phenomena.

Maybe sleep deprivation had something to do with it. After all, her normally packed schedule recently had grown even busier with the addition of dates with Chris, and she had been out in the field more often to help with healing people. Add that to the long shifts in the emergency department, and it would be more than understandable that she was a bit more tired than usual.

Or, as much as she didn’t like the thought, maybe this whole thing - the empty tower, the mystery bird - maybe it was some weird fever dream or hallucination. Ever since she woke up to her head in Loki’s lap and the news that she had a fever of 102 and didn’t know it, Theo had been a bit paranoid about how much she used her magic. She made sure to err on the side of caution to prevent any potential repeat of that incident, but it didn’t stop her from worrying.

Just to be safe, Theo took her temperature after she went inside to make sure she wasn’t sick and found no evidence of fever.

Well, at least she eliminated one potential cause.

There are things in yourself That you don’t understand Why you still wanna tell me Every time you’re with him

The next notable occurrence came a few days later. Theo had been on her way out the door to meet Chris for a date, rushing down the hall once she got the text that he was in the lobby. However, she froze as soon as she made it to the living room entrance. 

All the blinds were drawn shut, preventing any light pollution from the city from soaking into the living room; the only reason Theo could see anything was the light from the television, but the black and white images that flashed across the screen did little to illuminate the large, mostly empty room. Combined with the sparse finishes and furniture, it looked like the living room had been transformed into a cave. 

Wanda and Vision sat together on the couch, watching I Love Lucy. Vision had his arm around Wanda, who was curled so tightly into his side that Theo didn’t spot her until she gave Vision a second glance. Wanda’s auburn hair nearly fell out of the ponytail it had been tied up in. Stranger still, despite watching a sitcom, Wanda was frowning; if Theo looked closely, she swore that Wanda’s eyes looked puffy. Frankly, Wanda looked downright gloomy, and that in and of itself was strange, because Theo couldn’t recall ever seeing Wanda so down before, even when Theo first moved into the building.

Theo cleared her throat. “Is everything okay?” 

Wanda slowly turned around; when she saw Theo, she offered a weak smile, but the smile only made the Scarlet Witch look more sad.

Theo’s stomach lurched at the sight.

“It’s just that time of year, y’know?” Wanda offered a half-hearted shrug. Vision didn’t say anything; he simply gave Theo a forced smile that somehow appeared even more unsettling because it was on an android’s face.

If Theo hadn’t been confused before, she definitely was after that response. Rather than press the topic, she offered a hesitant smile and a nod. “Okay, well, I’m about to head out to meet Chris, but let me know if you need anything…” 

“Have fun,” Wanda replied, though her response lacked the boundless enthusiasm Theo had grown used to. She turned back to the television and settled in against Vision’s side; just like that, it was like the conversation never happened.

Theo took that as her cue to leave.

As the elevator descended, Theo played the interaction over and over in her mind. Seeing Wanda upset was concerning on its own, and the lack of response to Theo's comment about seeing Chris made Theo wonder if she did something wrong. 

After all, Wanda was the one who talked Theo into going on a real date with Chris - not just getting drinks together at the gala, but a real, honest date. When Theo got home from that first date, Wanda waited in the living room so she could immediately grill Theo for the details. If Theo had to name one person who was invested in Theo’s burgeoning relationship with Chris, it would be Wanda.

It wasn’t like Wanda was the only one who thought Theo should give things with Chris a try; Julie also supported the idea, although her rationale was much less serious - as Julie (jokingly) put it, “at least one of us should be getting some, and hey, if it works out maybe you can introduce me to one of his friends.”

And really, once they went on a normal date, things were… surprisingly good. Without the expectations of socializing that came with a gala, Chris was nowhere near the “Hollywood dream boat” that everyone assumed; at times, he was charmingly awkward, but because he didn’t take himself too seriously he could joke his way through any awkwardness. If anything, he was downright endearing.

Their relationship was nowhere near serious. Whenever Chris was in town they would go out, but they didn’t fly back and forth to see each other or spend hours on the phone lamenting each other’s absence when they were apart. Sure, she usually stayed over at Chris’s when he was around, but they were both adults, and well, he was good looking (and as it turned out, pretty good in bed).

Half-way through the elevator ride, Theo realized she hadn’t seen Chris  since all the weirdness in the tower began. For the last month, Chris had been in Montreal, Canada, filming on-site for his next film. Even though he wasn’t super far away, he only came to New York for one weekend, and that was to attend another actor’s birthday party (with Theo as his plus one), and that was just before everything seemed to go off the rails. Otherise, they just texted.

The more Theo thought about it, the more she believed that a night away with Chris was just what she needed - something a chance to relax and unwind.

The elevator chime announced Theo reached her destination. The silver doors parted to reveal Chris waiting for her, hands in his pockets as he watched the door. At the sight, tension that Theo barely realized she had been carrying vanished. Theo felt her lips curl up into a wide smile, mirroring Chris’s expression when he saw her. They both strode towards each other, meeting in the middle with an enthusiastic kiss.

Chris, ever the gentleman, cut in front of his security so he could hold the door for Theo and help her into the car. That evening, they had plans to take a stroll through Central Park, enjoying one of the first nice days that New York had in a while. After grabbing slices of pizza to go, the pair wandered around the park, chatting and joking with each other as they made the most of the fresh air.

Or, more accurately, they spent the time chatting, strolling, and trying to ignore the horde of paparazzi that followed along, capturing their every move.

Privacy may not have been common for an Avenger, but it turned out that privacy was non-existent for an A-List actor. Frankly, the attention they received at the gala was nothing compared to after they were first spotted together in public. Rampant speculation filled the headlines for days when paparazzi snapped a picture of the two of them at dinner together, though they didn’t show any signs of affection at that time - no hand holding, no kisses - Theo even went back to her place at the end of the night. 

Not long after, someone released photos of them sitting behind home base at a Yankees game. Again, they kept the level of affection pretty low, since they were in public, but it only fueled rumors even more when the people sitting around them all made comments about the pair being “cute” together.

The attention only got worse after a gossip site posted pictures of the pair at a Billie Eilish concert, “watching” the show from the side of the stage. Chris stood behind Theo with his hands on her waist, kissing Theo’s neck as she placed her arms over his and held him close. The next day, they were spotted together leaving his apartment to get brunch, at which point the internet decided that they were official and went all-out on decreeing the pair the new “it” couple.

After the birthday party, someone posted pictures on Instagram of Theo sitting on Chris’s lap at another actor’s birthday party, her arms wrapped around his shoulders as they chatted with one of Chris’s co-stars, which led to a crop of rumors that the pair were becoming serious about their relationship - headlines started popping up about Theo meeting Chris’s family and befriending his mom, finding a place to live together, and even wedding proposals popped up a time or two, one claiming that Chris’s mom took Theo engagement ring shopping. 

When Natasha read the engagement headline out loud to the rest of the team, sitting in the living room one night after dinner, Theo nearly fell off the couch laughing. She didn’t even know Chris’s mom’s name, much less what she looked like, so whoever sold the website that story had to have been trolling them.

Despite the growing attention, neither Chris or Theo made any public comment about their relationship. They never really had a formal conversation about what their relationship was in the first place, much less how they wanted to navigate the public. Theo remained perfectly content to keep things that way - talking about it only made it more serious, and she simply wanted to enjoy herself and see how things played out.

That night, enjoying herself meant soaking up the fresh spring air, the hints of green speckled across the trees as the leaves began to appear, and listening to Chris as he told her about the best restaurants he ate at while in Montreal. Between the company and conversation, Theo quickly forgot the melancholy that plagued the tower, at least for most of the evening. 

Near the end of the evening, as the couple walked back to where Chris’s driver planned to meet them, Theo spotted a rustling in the foliage nearby. A black squirrel emerged from a bush, nose sniffing around like it was on the hunt for something. Though Theo hadn’t ever seen a black squirrel, she didn’t think much of it; it wasn’t like it was green, after all. Black fur was just a genetic mutation. 

At least, she didn’t think anything of it until the squirrel followed alongside Theo and Chris. Chris remained oblivious to their new companion, too focused on explaining the premise for a film he had just been cast in. Theo tried her best to listen along, not wanting to draw attention to the squirrel and make herself sound insane, but the longer the squirrel followed, the more creeped out she became.

Maybe it was the half-eaten pizza slice in her hand; squirrels could be pretty gutsy if they thought they would get food from it. Tourists probably fed squirrels all the time, right?

Theo casually threw the pizza in the next trash can they passed, but the damn thing continued along as if it didn’t even notice the pizza had disappeared. 

What the hell was with all the animals following her around lately? 

By the time they reached the car, Theo practically leapt inside, desperate to get away from the rodent. Theo looked out the window to find the black squirrel still standing there, watching while Chris circled the car and climbed in from the other side. Once Chris buckled in, he gave her a strange look before he asked if Theo was trying to go somewhere; she managed a light, nervous laugh before making a comment about getting out of there to go back to Chris’s place. 

He gave her a wary glance, but thankfully dropped the topic. Theo hadn’t told him about the weirdness around the tower, and she had no interest in trying to explain something that even she didn’t understand… 

Besides, the whole point of the evening was to enjoy herself with Chris and not think about the rest of the weird stuff going on at the moment. And she’d be damned if she didn’t make the most of a quality night enjoying some quality time with Chris between the sheets.

And it's been a while since I wrote a song I liked And it's been a few months since you stayed the night Cause you fooled me once, I guess I fooled myself I guess we only use each other just to use ourselves But I think the bruise is healed, I think the bruise is healed If you'd only come over we could lose it still And when the sun comes up, we'll be looking at each other saying…

If the tower had been a ghost town before Theo left for her date night with Chris, it certainly reared back to life shortly after she came home the next day; however, the manner in which it did so made Theo almost miss the eerie silence that previously plagued the space.

Long after it had grown dark outside, a crash echoed from one of the common areas with such volume that Theo heard it in her suite, even with the door closed. Surprised, she glanced up from her book to hear muffled, unintelligible shouting, followed by heavy footsteps, and what sounded like something smashing into the wall.

Was whatever she just heard connected to the other weird things happening around the tower? 

Theo rose to her feet, depositing her book haphazardly on her couch before she poked her head out the door and looked around. Seeing no one, she quietly closed the door and started towards the main living area. Even if she didn’t find anything, she could grab some water from the kitchen while she was out and about. 

Another thunderous crash, followed by the shattering of glass rang out from down the hall. Theo picked up her pace, walking as fast as she could without breaking into a jog as she tried to find the source of the commotion. The thought of a break-in briefly flashed through her mind, but it seemed impossible with all the security Tony had in place. So what would have caused such a racket?

By the time she reached the living room, Theo braced herself for a mess.

What she found was a mess, but not the kind she anticipated: Bucky sat hunched over at the dining room table with an empty Budweiser bottle clutched in one hand. His hair fell around his face, greasy and unkempt as it obscured most of his face. Above his head and a bit to the left, some sort of brown liquid dripped down the wall; beneath the liquid, a pile of clear glass laid on the floor. 

Across from him, Steve restrained Tony as he snarled at Bucky. Veins bulged from Tony’s neck, his face nearly crimson as he slurred something unintelligible and filled with rage, then stumbled. Steve adjusted so Tony didn’t take them both down to the ground, only to be shoved away by Tony. Theo’s stomach lurched as Tony started towards Bucky, only to veer to the side and stagger off into the hall, all the while rambling about Bucky ruining his family.

Throughout the entire ordeal, Bucky sat stone-still. He didn’t look up from the table, hints of glazed eyes staring into almost nothing as Tony shouted at him. He said nothing as Steve rushed over to him; he didn’t respond as Steve crouched down to eye level and called his name. 

“What the hell just happened?” 

Steve’s head snapped towards Theo, who stood in the entryway completely bewildered at what she just saw. When he realized who asked the question, he deflated a bit, his shoulders sagging beneath an invisible weight as he sighed.

“Theo – sorry if we woke you–“

“Oh, no, I was still awake. I just…” Theo faltered, not sure how to continue. “ … I heard a commotion.” 

Steve shook his head, closing his eyes as he briefly massaged the bridge of his nose. He stood and he glanced towards the hallway; brows drawn tight and gaze distant, as if distracted by something. “Can you watch Buck for a minute? I’ll be right back…” He half-heartedly pointed down the hall, his attention still on the hall as he asked Theo for her assistance. Even though Steve never answered Theo’s question, she got the sense it wasn’t a good time to press the matter. If she had to guess, Steve wanted to check on Tony, but what led to the mess Theo stumbled upon remained a mystery.

“Yeah, sure–” Theo nodded. Bucky hadn’t moved in so long that he could give those human statues that frequented tourist traps a run for their money, so it didn’t seem like much of an ask.

Theo barely got the response out before Steve sprinted down the hall. 

Unsure of how long Steve would be gone, Theo took a seat next to Bucky.  He didn’t turn or acknowledge her presence; however, now that Theo was a bit closer, she noticed how tears stained his cheeks, and how he white-knuckled the bottle in his faintly trembling hand. With each exhale, the scent of beer filled the air.

The pair sat there in silence, Theo’s mind reeling while god-knows-what was going on in Bucky’s mind. It didn’t seem like talking to him would be useful, given his ongoing silence.

Without warning, Bucky stood, his chair clattering as it fell backwards onto the floor. He swayed dangerously for a moment, beer bottle still in hand as he gripped the table for support. A string of incoherent, slurred mumbles fell from his mouth, though he still hadn’t actually acknowledged Theo’s presence.

“Whoa, wait–” Theo clambered to her feet before Bucky could get too far, barely catching her own chair before it also tipped over. “Buck, where are you going? Maybe we should stay here until Steve gets back, yeah?”

Bucky didn’t reply; he took a couple steps forward, then leaned against the wall and shut his eyes. He mumbled something else - of everything, Theo managed to pick out one word: bed.

All things considered, it was probably time for him to call it a night.

“Hey Buck,” Theo murmured as she ducked into his field of vision. “Let’s get you to bed, alright?”

Bucky muttered something incoherent, but didn’t protest when Theo wrapped one of his arms around her shoulders for balance, then pulled him away from the wall. He swayed, stumbling a bit before Theo managed to steady the super soldier. All the while, he still clutched the empty bottle in his hand. 

With Bucky’s much larger stature and his high level of intoxication, each time he tried to walk he nearly pulled both of them to the ground. Theo briefly considered that it might be worth getting him checked out by the hospital - after all, if a super soldier could get drunk, they could theoretically get alcohol poisoning, right? She couldn’t remember another time she had seen him so drunk - sure, he certainly liked to have a few and get a good buzz, but never had it gotten this severe.

For the moment, she settled for practically dragging Bucky down the hall so they made it to his suite. She could keep an eye on him from there, and if she saw any signs that things were getting a bit dicey, she’d call for someone to help bring him in.

Bucky groaned when Theo stopped in front of his door. She twisted the knob, but the metal barely turned - she’d need a key to get inside.

Or magic.

With a bit of focus, Theo conjured a few runes that slid into the key slot; a moment later, a quiet click confirmed they could enter the room. Theo threw the door open as Bucky slumped into her, the pair stumbling inside. Theo caught them both right as she heard Bucky’s breath hitch; moments later, a gagging sound erupted from beside her. 

Oh shit, he was about to hurl.

Theo dove for the nearest wastebasket, turning back just in time for a putrid, acidic odor to smack her in the face as Bucky forcibly emptied the contents of his stomach. Despite Theo’s best efforts, she hadn’t been fast enough; most of the mess ended up all over Bucky and the floor in front of them, with only a little bit making it into the bin. Bucky dropped to his knees, clutching the wastebasket with his free hand as he unleashed another round of stomach bile, though the second round mostly stayed in the container.

Steve was gonna kill her when he got back.

“Oh, Buck…” Theo coaxed, rubbing slow, gentle circles on his back. Even though it seemed like the nausea passed, Theo hesitated to try and move Bucky. Between the potential for him to become sick again and the mess he already made, any attempts at relocation seemed like they’d make a bad situation worse. 

Once it seemed like Bucky had settled down enough that Theo could divide her attention, she took in her surroundings. Up until that moment, Theo hadn’t been in Bucky’s suite - there wasn’t any reason, given they usually spent time together in a larger group. She always thought of Bucky as a very neat person, given his military background, but his main room looked like a tornado had gone through - books, picture frames, and other mementos had been knocked to the floor, some items cracked or broken from the fall. The only item that apparently hadn’t been thrown on the floor was his laptop, which sat closed atop the desk tucked in the corner. 

Despite the mess, the space felt… empty. There were furnishings, sure - a couch, a desk, an office chair, and a bookshelf, but those looked like the sort of items that would be standard-issue in the same way that a college dorm room came with generic furniture. The space lacked any sense of personality, of comfort, of home.

Theo’s attention wandered back to Bucky, who continued to clutch his empty beer bottle like it was a security blanket. Her heart ached for him - what she stumbled upon wasn’t a simple night of over-indulging. Something triggered this, and Theo didn’t need to know what happened to recognize that whatever led him to this point, it had to have been painful. 

After some indeterminate time, Theo heard firm, yet quiet footsteps that grew louder as time passed. The footsteps stopped; from behind Theo, a disappointed sigh announced Steve’s arrival. 

Theo glanced back at Steve, who lingered in the doorway. The heaviness in his stance had only grown more noticeable since he left, showing itself in the furrow of his brow and the tensed muscles along his jaw.

“Hey,” Theo breathed, her mind reeling as she tried to come up with a way to explain what happened that wouldn’t end with Captain America kicking her ass. 

“Oh Buck…” Steve shook his head. He rushed into the room and crouched down by Bucky’s other side, barely acknowledging Theo in the process. “What happened?”

“He threw up.” Theo cringed as soon as she heard herself; of all the answers she could have provided, her stupid brain chose the least helpful option. 

Steve sighed, heavy and worn down, as he looked at the room around them. 

“Once you left, he decided he wanted to go to bed - well, I think that’s what he decided, because ‘bed’ was the only word I could understand with how he was slurring - but he stood up and tried to get here on his own, so I helped him get here…” Theo looked at the mess, then back up at Steve. “And then, well, as soon as we made it inside this happened. I didn’t quite get the trash can in time, unfortunately. Did he also do all of this?”.

“Yeah… yeah, that was him.” Steve spoke softly, his voice almost morose. “He gets like this sometimes – it’s a mix of the alcohol and nightmares. They get worse around this time of year.”

She hummed in acknowledgement of Steve’s answer. “So you’ve been through this before?”

“Unfortunately,” Steve quietly confirmed. “Not often, but it has happened a few times.”

“I know Super Soldiers have a reputation for being able to do all sorts of stuff that normal people can’t, but I’m going to be honest, I think he needs medical attention.” Theo replied, brows raised as she looked at Steve.

“No need,” Steve barely shook his head as he sighed again. “The first time he did this, I brought him to the Emergency Room because I thought he drank himself to death. Turns out that the serum prevents death by alcohol. It doesn’t prevent a bad hangover the following morning, though.”

If that was the case, Bucky was going to have an awful hangover the following morning.

“Is Tony alri–?” 

Glass shattering brought an abrupt end to Theo’s question. 

Shards of what was once the beer bottle clutched between Bucky’s fingers now littered the floor. Drops of crimson liquid scattered themselves amidst the reflective glass, contrasting the espresso floorboards. 

“He’ll be fine.” Steve quickly muttered, almost like he didn’t want Bucky to hear him… Which, given Bucky’s reaction, was understandable. “Don’t worry about it.” 

“Anything I can do to help?” Theo wasn’t sure that she’d be able to do much, but since she just accidentally caused Bucky to hurt himself, the least she could do was ask.

“I’m sorry, Theo - you shouldn’t have to deal with this.” Steve sighed wearily, shaking his head. “I’ll get him cleaned up.”

Theo simply nodded, unsure of what else to say. 

Steve took one of Bucky’s arms and wrapped it around his shoulders before he hoisted him up and dragged him into the bathroom, kicking the door shut behind him. 

Left to her own devices, Theo’s attention returned to the room around her, more specifically on the mess left behind. Her hands twitched with the desire to do something about the mess before her; though Steve told Theo she didn’t need to do anything, it seemed unfair to leave Steve to clean up Bucky’s suite after cleaning Bucky up. For all she knew, Steve also had to do the same for Tony, since Pepper seemed to be MIA. 

Steve may have gotten the reputation of being the responsible, straight-laced rule follower, but that responsibility didn’t mean he should have to clean up everyone’s messes by himself.  

With that, Theo rose to her feet, popped an earbud in so she could listen to music, and busied herself with cleaning up Bucky’s suite.

The process took less time than Theo anticipated. Other than cleaning up the stomach bile, the majority of the work involved reshelving random books (including a copy of The Hobbit that looked like it was from the original printing), throwing away trash that had gathered around the room, and cleaning up the broken items that littered the floor. Theo tossed some of the items, but if something looked important she used magic to repair the object. 

With the main room taken care of, Theo poked her head into the bedroom to scope out the damage. Much like the main room, the space lacked any sense of personality, with a very generic bed, night stand, and dresser filling the space. Some of the dresser drawers sat open, their contents scattered around the room, and the blankets that Theo assumed were meant for the bed had been tossed into the opposite corner. 

Putting away the clothes scattered all over only took fifteen minutes, and part of that was Theo figuring out where Bucky kept all of his clothes. With the clothes back in the dresser,  Theo made the bed.

Just like that, Bucky’s suite looked good as new… Even if it seemed a bit empty.

With the room clean and Steve taking care of Bucky, Theo no longer had any reason to stay. On her way out, she grabbed the bag of garbage that she filled from tidying up the room and cleaning up after Bucky, ensuring Steve didn’t have to deal with any of the mess. 

Theo silently opened the door and slipped out, careful not to make a sound as she closed the door behind her. She didn’t even take three steps towards the utility room before a familiar voice caught her attention.

“You aren’t Barnes’ housemaid, you know.”

Theo recognized the voice instantly, even if she hadn’t heard it in a little while. What she didn’t recognize was the condescending tone with which he spoke.

 “Long time no see, Loki –” After essentially being ghosted for weeks, Theo couldn’t help the irritation that exploded within her at the way Loki spoke to her. She turned around to face Loki, who wore a scowl as he stared her down, leaning on the doorframe for his own suite with arms crossed. “Am I finally worthy of your presence?” 

“As a sorcerer,” Loki continued, ignoring Theo’s greeting, “I presumed your preference to be using magic for such mundane tasks–” 

“I’m a woman of many talents, what can I say?” Theo dryly interjected, rolling her eyes.

“I also assumed you were above cleaning up the Sergeant's vomit when he was foolish enough to imbibe to the point of over-intoxication, so I suppose that’s on me.”

A memory sprung to Theo’s mind. A while back, Wanda warned Theo that there were times Loki would get into a “mood.” During these “moods,” Loki would lock himself away, lashing out at anyone who tried to interact with him. Wanda warned Theo in no uncertain terms to stay the hell away from Loki when he was in one of his “moods,” unless she wanted to incur his legendary temper.

It seemed like Theo was getting her first taste of one of Loki’s “moods.”

“What’s wrong with helping a friend?” Theo challenged, using every bit of her limited patience not to unleash a snarky response or chuck the bag of trash at him.

“Barnes allowed his emotions to get the best of him – it is weakness.” Nothing but pure ice could be found in Loki’s answer, a painfully sharp departure from any other time they spoke. 

“So?” Theo countered. “Everyone has their weaknesses. I’m happy to help a friend when they’re amidst a moment of weakness – if it were you, I’d do the same.”

Loki faltered, the almost aggressive demeanor disappearing for a split second to reveal something painfully tender. As quickly as it came, it vanished; Loki stood taller, shoulders and new tense as he puffed his chest in defiance.

“You don’t truly believe that, do you?” Loki’s gaze burned into her, like he was looking for a way to make her crack and explode.

Theo rolled her eyes, brushing past Loki. If he was going to behave like an ass, she wasn't even going to humor him with an answer. 

Underneath it all, Theo suspected something else bothered Loki, but Theo couldn’t deny that at face value the man who stood before her was nothing like the Loki she had come to befriend. “Good night, Loki.” 

Theo didn’t miss the look of surprise painted across the Asgardian prince’s face as she walked away without taking his bait. She stopped in the utility closet to drop the garbage bag down the trash chute, then made her way to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. 

Along the way, she took a moment to clean up the broken glass and puddle that dripped from the wall in the dining room. After wiping up the puddle of what turned out to be amber liquid, Theo held the paper towel up to her nose and sniffed, the sharp scent of Tony’s favorite whiskey filling her nostrils and almost making her sneeze.

The clues started to come together - Tony must have thrown his drink at Bucky, but (thankfully) missed.  

But what would have angered him enough to do that?

Theo ruminated on the topic as she swept up the broken glass and wiped down both the wall and floor, removing any trace of whiskey. With that taken care of, she filled the biggest glass of water she could find and took a long swig while still at the sink, then topped it off. 

Rather than return to her suite (and risk Loki chastising her a second time), Theo sat at the breakfast bar as she slowly sipped her water. All the while, her mind spun with all the weird things going on.

Wanda, Vision, Steve, Tony, Bucky, Loki – Every person Theo had encountered in the residential portion of the tower seemed like something troubled them. Wanda and Steve both mentioned something about the time of year, although Steve mentioned it in reference to Bucky. Maybe there was some connection between the two, but that didn’t explain where the others fit into the equation. What was the common thread?  

The scrape of stool legs on stone floors jarred Theo from her thoughts. Her head snapped towards the sound to discover Steve had taken a seat next to her, his own glass of water in his hand. He glanced over at Theo, offering a thin smile.

“Thank you,” Steve murmured, “for your help earlier. He put up a lot of fight tonight – it was really nice to not have to take care of the room afterward.”

“It’s no problem.” Theo exhaled, then swallowed thickly. “What was going on there, anyways?”

“It’s a long story…” Steve trailed off as he glanced over at the empty chair where Bucky once sat. The shadows cast by the pendant lights that hung above the breakfast bar only exacerbated the shadows under Steve’s eyes. “I’ll tell you some other time.”

Theo sighed, but nodded. As much as the lack of answer bothered her, she had to accept that she wasn’t going to get any answers that night.

“You’re a good friend, you know that?” Theo commented, turning to Steve with a (hopefully) comforting smile. “You’re patient, even when someone pushes your buttons or does something you don’t agree with.”

“Buck’s like my family,” Steve shrugged dismissively, “It’s the absolute least that I could do, especially after all he’s been through.”

Theo nodded, allowing a brief pause to fall between the pair.

It occurred to Theo that she hadn’t ever seen Steve experience a low moment. 

Then again, Steve was Captain America - if there was anyone who the world expected to keep a strong sense of optimism and composure in the darkest moments, it was him. Captain America wasn’t just a superhero, he represented confidence and hope for so many people. If he let the world see him struggle, let them see the human behind the superhero, it would be catastrophic; if Captain America seemed like he lost hope, how could anyone believe that things would be okay?

Steve Rogers, in many ways, was a modern-day Atlas, through and through.

“Does anyone do that for you?” Theo asked quietly. “Support you, I mean?”

“Buck does, every day.” Steve nodded. “Most of the time he doesn’t even know he’s doing it.”

“I’m glad.” One corner of Theo’s lip curled upward, as if to imply a smile. “Glad that you have someone who’s there for you, that is,” she clarified.

The pair sat in silence, sipping their respective glasses of water as they stared out into the empty living room and dining room. After an indeterminate amount of time, Theo glanced over at Steve. His normally perfect posture had taken on a slouch, and upon closer inspection the super soldier had bags beneath his eyes. A crease in his forehead hinted at perpetual tension, though more than anything, he simply looked exhausted. Theo’s chest ached at how much pressure Steve must have been under.

“You look tired –” Theo observed, glancing between Steve and the hallway that led to everyone’s suites. “– you should get some rest.”

“I can’t. If Bucky has another nightmare, I need to be there.” Steve shook his head, rejecting the notion without even thinking about it. He glanced at the clock, eyes widening for a moment as his breath quickened. “I came out here to grab a quick drink, but I’ve stayed too long. I should get back to him…”

“I can stay with Bucky for a few hours,” Theo offered, “Enough for you to take a nap, at least. It’s not like I’m about to fall asleep anyways.This is still a few hours ahead of my usual bedtime…”

Steve frowned as his blue eyes flickered between Theo and his water glass, debating the offer. 

“You’ve already done more than I could have asked, especially when you have no reason to get involved…” Steve’s shoulders dropped as he let out a sigh. He paused, meeting her gaze with such intensity that Theo suspected Steve overheard her disagreement with Loki. “… But I have to admit, your offer makes me worry about your sleep habits. Especially since you wake up earlier than most of the team.”

Theo couldn’t help but snickered at the second part of Steve’s comment. “You have enough to worry about – I promise that I’m the least of your problems. I just… nighttime and I have always had a special connection.”

Theo saw the odd look that Steve gave her, but he shrugged as he finished his water. 

“Whatever you say, Theo.” He stood up, pushing his stool in and then placing his empty glass in the dishwasher. “Are you serious about staying with Buck for a bit?” 

“I wouldn’t offer it if I wasn’t serious.” Theo assured him, following Steve’s lead as she pushed her own stool in and placed her glass in the dishwasher beside his.

Steve nodded, gaze distant for a minute as he let out a quiet breath. “I really appreciate it.”

“It’s no problem.” Theo promised, gesturing for them both to depart from the kitchen.

The pair walked the hall in silence, though Steve kept a quick enough pace that Theo struggled to keep up without breaking into a small jog. Bucky’s suite wasn’t far, but the pace certainly provided a testament to Steve’s anxiety around how long he had been away. Once they reached the door, they both paused.

“If there’s trouble, let me know and I’ll come right over.” Steve insisted, glancing nervously at the door; he looked like he was debating whether to go in and check on Bucky first, or if he could trust Theo to manage whatever she found.

At that thought, Theo had to bite back a laugh - in that moment, Steve reminded Theo of Ellie and Max, the first time they left Katie with Theo for an afternoon.

“I’m sure he’ll sleep like a baby.” Theo reassured him, resting one hand on Steve’s shoulder as she locked eyes with him. “Hopefully you will too, because you also need it.”

Steve took a reluctant step backwards as he glanced between the door and Theo. Just before Theo could shoo him away, he turned and walked away, moving much more slowly; Theo wondered if the idea of sleeping away from Bucky when he was like was more stressful for Steve than simply staying up with him, but after convincing Steve to lay down, Theo had no intention of calling Steve back.

Once Steve disappeared around the corner, Theo stepped into Bucky’s suite. Even in the dark, Theo could tell that everything was just as Theo left it, which Theo took as a good sign - if everything was still in place, Bucky probably hadn’t woken up. She slowly cracked the door to the bedroom and peered inside. Everything remained in its place, which gave Theo the confidence to open the door the rest of the way and make her way inside. 

Bucky laid curled on his side beneath a navy blanket, facing the door. Though his expression lacked any sort of tension, the lingering puffiness of his eyes and slight frown were visible reminders that all was not well.

Seeing Bucky asleep, Theo took a moment to text Steve and reassure him that Bucky was still asleep, hoping that it would give Steve the confidence to actually try and sleep. Then, she returned to Bucky’s main room and grabbed his desk chair, bringing it to the bedroom and placing it near the bed so she had somewhere to sit. Steve may have been close enough to Bucky to sit on the bed, but Theo wasn’t about to test what would happen if the Winter Soldier woke up to an acquaintance sitting on his bed and no idea how they got there.

After a bit of silence, Theo popped an earbud in so she could listen to a song she planned to cover in the near future. Trying to figure out why everything was so weird seemed pointless, given she wasn’t going to get any more answers that night, so focusing on music seemed like the best distraction. Besides, she needed to dissect the song’s arrangement so she could figure out the elements she wanted to include in her version, and it wasn’t like she had much else to do at that moment.

After an hour, Theo nearly had her gameplan for how she wanted to arrange the cover. Just as she finished typing out her plan in a note on her phone, rustling blankets caught Theo’s eye.

Bucky stirred, stretching his legs out before curling into an even smaller ball. The blanket fell enough that Theo caught a glimpse of his hand, neatly wrapped in crisp white gauze. He buried his face in the pillow and drew in a harsh breath, letting out shakily. Theo quickly slipped her phone in her pocket as she watched Bucky, trying to figure out whether or not he was awake.

“Ssssorry,” Bucky mumbled into his pillow. “M’sorry…”

“It’s okay, Buck.” Theo murmured. She shifted from the chair to sit on the edge of the bed, hoping that the sinking mattress would be enough for him to know he wasn’t alone. “You’re okay.”

“I din’ mean to.” The whimper that crept out of Bucky broke Theo’s heart. “I din’ know…”

“I know, Buck,” Theo soothed, tracing slow, gentle circles along his back; it calmed her niece down whenever she had a nightmare, so she figured it was worth a shot here. “It’s going to be okay.” 

“Ssorr’,” he mumbled again, turning his head so the words were only half-mumbled into his pillow. Bucky’s eyes were closed, but Theo still couldn’t tell if he was truly asleep or not.

“Shhh,” Theo tried to quiet him as gently as she could. “I know you’re sorry Buck, but it's okay. We forgive you.”

What they forgave him for, Theo had no idea, but if Bucky kept repeating apologies, it seemed like forgiveness might be what he needed to hear.

A shaky sigh escaped from Bucky, who sank a bit further into the mattress. Theo stayed right where she was, continuing to rub Bucky’s back as she once again found herself stuck on the mystery of why everyone was so upset. Only when she was convinced that Bucky was asleep did she carefully ease herself off the mattress and sit back in her chair. After watching Bucky for a minute to make sure he hadn’t woken up, Theo went back to plotting out her covers.

Three hours later, the faint creak of an opening door and the quiet padding of footsteps announced Steve’s return. The slump of his shoulders from earlier had disappeared, and Theo saw no sign of the bags that previously hung beneath his eyes. 

“Welcome back,” Theo whispered, offering Steve a smile as she stood up and pocketed her phone. “Get any sleep?”

“I got a bit…” Steve replied with his own smile, before his attention went towards the bed. “How’s Buck?”

“Sleepin’ like a baby, just like I promised.”

Telling Steve that Bucky might have woken up and drunkenly apologized for some unknown mistake seemed like it would only make Steve stress out; given the whole point of Theo staying with Bucky was to help Steve out, Theo decided it was best not to say anything more.  

The sigh of relief that came from Steve only confirmed that was the right choice. 

“Thank you, Theo.” Steve took the seat Theo recently vacated, glancing between Bucky and Theo. “Really, you’ve helped more than you know.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Theo replied, making her way to the door. With one hand on the doorknob, she turned back and waved. “Good night, Steve.” 

“Good night Theo - try to get some sleep, okay?” Steve returned, his tone a mix of teasing and mild concern. 

“Aye-aye, captain.” Theo winked and saluted him, then took her leave.

The faintest hint of color peeked over the horizon by the time Theo returned to her suite. As she drew the curtains shut and crawled into bed, Theo’s mind inevitably went back to the perpetual stress that seemed to plague the entire tower.

After weeks, Theo was no closer to solving the mystery of what troubled the Avengers, and there seemed to be no end in sight. It was like the answer was an object just beyond Theo’s reach - if only she could stretch her arm a bit farther, she’d be able to grasp it. But try as she might, the mystery seemed like it was too much for Theo to solve on her own.

Just before she drifted into a restless sleep, Theo decided: if she couldn’t put the clues together, it was time to ask for some help…

… And Theo knew just who to go to.

I don't really wanna talk about it I don't really wanna talk about it I don't really wanna talk about it Right now, right now

Summary for those who opted to skip the last scene:

After hearing a commotion in the tower, Theo walks into the dining room to find Steve restraining a very drunk Tony while Bucky sat at the dining room table. Tony yelled something that Theo couldn’t understand at Bucky, then stormed off. After Tony storms off, Steve asks Theo to stay with Bucky while he checks on Tony. Bucky, who is also inebriated, tries to go to his room and gets sick along the way.  Steve returns and Theo explains what happened, then asks about Tony. Hearing Tony’s name, Bucky crushes a glass bottle in his hand; Steve diverts the conversation, leaving Theo without an answer.  Steve helps Bucky clean up, and in an effort to help, Theo cleans up Bucky’s suite. 

When she leaves Bucky’s suite, Theo runs into Loki, who yells at her for helping Bucky. She asks what’s wrong with helping a friend and tells Loki she’d help him too; Loki seems surprised by this, but only grows more angry. Theo, frustrated by Loki’s behavior, decides she isn’t going to talk to him if he’s going to be rude, so she leaves and heads into the kitchen for some water. Steve joins her a bit later, sharing that it’s not the first time this has happened, however it was more common around this time of year. They talk a bit more about supporting friends going through tough times, then Theo tells Steve that he looks tired and  he should go to bed. Steve declines, saying that he needs to get back to Bucky in case Bucky has a nightmare. Theo volunteers to sit with Bucky for a bit so Steve can get some rest.

Steve hesitantly agrees. Theo stays with Bucky; he stirs once, apologizing repeatedly for some unknown mistake. Theo manages to get him to go back to sleep, and when Steve returns she doesn’t tell him about the apologies.

By the time Theo goes to bed, it’s approaching daytime. Frustrated by her inability to figure out what’s going on, she decides she is going to ask someone for help. 

#loki #loki imagine #loki marvel #loki angst #loki hurt/comfort #loki fanfiction #loki x ofc #when everything's made to be broken #wemtbb #loki fanfic #loki odinson #loki laufeyson

[kitwalker02]

The Evan's favorite flavor of milk

Tate

Tate is a basic, emo alt boy and likes his milk dark like his soul

Aka true moo chocolate milk is a staple in his fridge

Tate also only uses chocolate milk in his cereal and that is a really specific pet peeve of constance's

His afternoon snack is a bottle of chocolate milk and string cheese

Lactose intolerance? Tate doesn't know her.

Kit

Actually severely intolerant to all milk so he either had to take lactaid or suck it up and drink almond milk

He only likes the chocolate almond milk

Something about almond milk makes him really passive aggressive though so he'll drink a lot of strawberry milk with Julia and act like he made a great fatherly sacrifice when he gets really sick

Truth is Kit REALLY just has a thing for strawberry milk

So it feels like a betrayal when Julia gets her hands on some of his chocolate almond milk and decides that it's her new favorite drink

She literally refuses to drink strawberry milk from then on and Kit wonders what he did to hurt her so much that she'd do this to him

Kyle

Kyle is definitely a basic white milk drinking boy

However he prefers to drink juice rather than milk and only uses it for the basics like cereal and dipping oreos

Although one time he almost killed himself trying to chug a whole jug of milk at a frat party

Jimmy

Jimmy is a simple 1950's boy and drinks a glass of milk breakfast, lunch and dinner

His calcium levels are through the roof and bones are very strong

Milk is his preferred beverage and he's totally the type of guy to act all tough and sexy and then order a glass of milk

James

James has never even heard of different flavors of milk

He literally lives under a rock lol

Every night before bed he drinks a glass of warm milk because his mom use to make him do that and now it's the only way he can fall asleep

But it gets in his mustache and is kinda gross cuz he drinks it after brushing his teeth

#milkbreath

Rory

A strawberry milk guy through and through

Every Saturday morning he goes and gets a Boston cream donut and a bottle of strawberry milk

It is his favorite ritual and one time he did it every morning for like 6 weeks straight

But then his agent called him fat

He also has a weird obsession with strawberry icecream

And don't even get him started on Starbucks' pink drink....

Edward

Definitely has an oil painting of it

Idk if chocolate milk was even a thing then (lol don't call me dumb) but it would totally be Edward's jam

Also believes chocolate milk comes from brown cows

Kai

(Ngl guys I wrote this whole thing and didn't realize I forgot kai until I was doing the hashtags lol that's what he gets)

Kai likes white milk but only because it is basic and boring and restored his eye sight or whatever

Brings back fond memories of when he was little and with his mom

Puts a shit ton of whole milk in his coffee

Mr. Gallant

He likes the pink milk

He calls it aesthetically pleasing and takes a picture of it for his social media

There's like a month old bottle of half dranken strawberry milk on his dresser

It's absolutely disgusting

Not even the Apocalypse was able to get rid of it...

Jeff

He'll only use the powdered milk so he can snort it up his nose

Jk jk

Eats coco puffs every morning for breakfast and uses one of those edible straw things to drink all the milk out of the bowl

Likes that the milk starts off white but then becomes chocolate milk

This never ceases to amaze him

His taste in cereal is not superior...

Austin

Milk is a very important staple in Austin's diet. He needs that calcium to keep his teeth sharp and strong

He likes chocolate milk the most though

Only drinks Yahoo chocolate milk

In elementary school the other kids would bully him and steal his chocolate milk and make him drink strawberry milk instead

This made him so sad

Strawberry milk has a very bad connotation to him because of that

#american horror story #evan peters #ahs #tate langdon #ahs murder house #evan peters fanfiction #kit walker #kyle Spencer #jimmy darling #james patrick march #rory monahan #edward mott #mr gallant #kai anderson #jeff pfister #austin sommers

[butididntpourthewhiskeys]

I Love You, It’s Ruining My Life Songs

1. DENIAL 🫣

💜 Lavender Haze: just confirms what I thought since Joever happened and I started to look at Midnights a bit differently. I literally think she was in denial that him staring at the ceiling with her and not talking much, not reading into her feelings was NOT a good thing or the sign of a healthy relationship 🙃 also, her trying to convince herself that she doesn’t want to get married, she doesn’t need the 1950s shit of having a ring on her finger, having babies, feeling SAFE…. just screams denial and delulu lmao

❄️ Snow On The Beach: Ouch. Big ouchie. When she released this song in Fall 2022 I remember thinking… wow why is she so obsessed with the beginning of their relationship and keeps on writing about it. I feel like we now have an answer and it’s that this is what she kept holding onto when things had already hit the fan 🥲

🚫 Sweet Nothing: NO song screams more denial on Midnights than this one. Her posting the Linda and Paul McCartney thing had already told us that she wrote this because she loved the idea of this love yet it wasn’t actually what she was going through. Also, it’s so interesting that she and Joe wrote it together.. again, it’s giving massive ‘i will do anything for him to be 100% in again’ aka she tried to recreate something with him that clearly wasn’t there anymore at the time

🗑️ Glitch: Falls into the same category for me as SN. Things had gone to shit but she was so obsessed with the idea of the two. And being honest, so were we??? Sometimes I wonder if she just LOVED the narrative of Taylor and Joe, victim and savior, Burton to this Taylor….she loved what was there, she kept on holding onto this dream of him from back when she was shipwrecked. I literally think she thought she could just hold onto the memories and him and things would work themselves out again

❌ Betty: Honestly, this song coming up in that playlist makes me SICK to my tummy for obvious reasons. A massive red flag that Joe came up with the idea for the song… but lets talk about this in greater detail on April 19th (aka WELCOME HOME CHEATER)

❤️‍🩹 Lover: BIG BIG Ouchie. She thought this was forever. She thought she could just go wherever he goes but, clearly, she was in denial, overseeing so many signs telling her that it won’t always be enough. I think Lover was this idea of “but what if it does work out” even though her gut feeling was telling her that this love won’t be forever

🚩Cruel Summer/False God: Have ALWAYS been such red flags when it comes to a relationship dynamic. Cruel Summer is all about them playing games in the beginning and her suffering from it. False God is the idea that if communication doesn’t work, you can just have sexy time instead and they would get away with it?? Both signs of a very unhealthy rs dynamic and it makes me feel so validated that she sees that now

🙃 Ours/Superman: Girlie knows she’s always been a lil delulu… lol

👑 Bejeweled: SUCH a wonderful way to end this playlist. This is literally the beginning of the end of being in denial. That song was a direct warning, an awakening that she’s NOT okay in the rs and that things are NOT going to be okay anytime soon if he doesn’t put in the effort.

#TTPD playlist #TTPD #predictions #Denial

[applesap-fics]

famous anonymous author!bruno idea? 👀

👀 i already wrote about this a little bit during encantober (for the gift prompt), featuring Osvaldo

The premise is that Bruno wrote a LOT of romantic/smutty fiction during his time in the walls. His sisters/the guys find these, like it, and encourage him to sell the stories as books. Bruno agrees, but wants to do this anonymously. His relationship with the Encantonians still feels a little awkward. He becomes immensely popular however and is the Encanto's number one romance novelist!

additional notes:

gay Bruno, like always.

he uses a pseudonym which vaguely references the miracle. I was thinking something along the lines of "Estrella del Milagro"/"Estrella Milagrosa", but time has passed and it sounds a little dorky/off to me now, haha.

the stories are so dramatic. and so trashy. exactly how people like it.

they start out as little secrets (mostly) women pass around but prove hugely popular.

in that encantober fic I linked I made alma the cover artist. I like the headcanon that she's an artist (opposite Pedro the poet) and that she painted at least a few of the paintings in Casita, such as the one Bruno hides behind.

Alternatively: she has no idea this is Bruno. She loves the more romance-focused novels/novellas to death.

I'm not sure how active the Encanto's book publishing market is. I think they mostly rotate through old books and (especially at the start) don't have the resources to publish books. And because they're a social community they wouldn't have use for a newspaper since all of their news happens via word of mouth. Maybe there's a guy from the original refugees who had notes on printing, lol. Argh, the Encanto needs an archivist!

On that note, I can see Mariano putting out little poetry collections. (He's not so popular. Sorry!)

Osvaldo is involved because they need non-madrigal distributor. Secrecy is sworn. The truth may eventually come out though...

The identity of the author is speculated for years! A few Madrigals are considered~

Pepa also writes one short story after reading a really bad concept Bruno wrote in the walls about…rat babies…that she sees potential in (but needs a feminine, motherly touch). It's still published under the "Estrella" pseudonym but is revealed being hers years later. A bunch of people win the betting pool.

Bruno loves crazy passionate female main characters. The 'lore' is that it's always "Estrella" in different universes, though. Kinda like Barbie, if I had to give an example.

He needs an editor. I vote the most passionate of Madrigal men, Félix, and maybe Agustín. Osvaldo was briefly considered since he's already a middleman and essentially his partner, but he has unreasonable opinions on the sexual workings of women.

Bruno mostly wrote these stories in the walls for his own pleasure (literally. a lot are smut stories), and were ultimately about gay men having sex with each other, or other passionate and complex relationships. Even after editing for the general public, some of his work uses very ambiguous language for the main characters. They are presumed to be women, but if you read through the lines it's easy to read the mc as a man, making his novels gay romance fiction.

Encanto's gay population feel vindicated when the truth reveals itself. As do the 1950s slash shippers.

Years later, after "Estrella" reveals her identity, which probably involved an impatient and overly excited/smug Osvaldo and a Bruno who said "Oh, fuck it, fine. It was me. I'm your favorite author", Bruno publishes an omnibus/collection for the novels' anniversary in which he has a chapter on his identity. He talks about being gay and adresses the speculation that the mc could have been gay all this time, just like its author. All is interpretable, though. Bruno has never had a relationship, but Estrella has been in hundreds. Everyone is allowed to see themselves in the characters, man or woman, or enjoy the stories for what they are. He just hopes people will be open to the idea, will respect it and maybe consider it. He ends the chapter by thanking the Encanto for welcoming him back, as both "Estrella" and Bruno.

There's a q&a that basically boils down to: Q: Why did you decide to write [controversial plotpoint people loved but fundamentally made no damn sense]? B: Oh, I wrote that when I was hiding in the walls. I was a little crazy. Q: But how did you come up with the idea? B: I can't say I understand anything I did when I was in the walls.

#i think this was all of it! #author bruno au #bruno madrigal #encanto #wips #phew thats it so far #anne replies #anonymous

[julesart04]

People i want to get to know better!

Thank you @messymoony for tagging me! <3

Last Song:

Favourite Colour: bluey green (like the sea)

Last film/Tv show: The Artful Dodger (actually so good!)

Sweet/Savoury/Spicy: Sweet!

Relationship status: so single lol

Current Obsession: (always marauders) probs The Artful Dodger tbh

Last Book: The King Must Die by Mary Renault (all of you should read her books! I'm rereading all her classical ones for the third time. She wrote historically accurate lgbt fiction set in ancient Greece during the 1950s and was Lesbian herself. I idolize her! ALL HAIL MARY RENAULT!!!)

Looking forward to: starting art school in September!

Np tags @padsandtamprongsformoony @theicarusconstellation @kwiwrites

#Spotify #tag game

[demonsfate]

Ooc: Who was your first OC? (Luna) 🐰

MUN QUESTIONS ! / ACCEPTING !

My first OC was a Sonic the Hedgehog one. If I looked deep enough through my old art I have somewhere, I can probably find old drawings of her. But her name was Daisy the Cat. She was an orange cat in a red tee and a blue skirt, I believe. She had blue hair that was cut into a bob. She had a boyfriend I made alongside her named Buddy the Hedgehog, who... yup, is practically just a Sonic recolor except he's red, had "hair" like Tails on the front of his head, and he wore an orange Hawaiian shirt, I think. For some reason it's a lot of children's curses to make a sonic recolor as one of their first OCs.

The first OC I wrote on tumblr, however... I thiiiiiink it was a 1950s house"wife" who was a serial killer? Her name might've been Betty, but I honestly forget now lol. I don't think her blog lasted too long. I've only RP'd a few OCs whose blogs lasted a decent time.

#✏️ - ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴏsᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏsᴛ // (ooc) #✏️ - ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ? // (inbox) #// ty luna-mun <:)

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Brigitte Bardot (Contempt, And God Created Woman)—unbelievable charisma off the charts, post-war France could barely handle her because she just radiates sexuality in the deepest, hottest way. i've never seen a woman who fit so clearly in my head the "beautiful woman" category. also i'm including her little suit number because why not [pic below]

Sara Montiel (Vera Cruz, Serenade, Run of the Arrow)— She began her career in the 1940s and became the most internationally popular and highest paid star of Spanish cinema in the 1960s. She appeared in nearly fifty films and recorded around 500 songs in five different languages. She always tells how when she met Marlon Brando, she cooked fried eggs for him and he said they were the best eggs he had ever tasted. She confronted Franco himself first by rejecting his invitation to sing at his Christmas party, and then when she went to the barracks to ask that the police let the homosexuals that they had detained be let out. She defended them tooth and nail, and that's why they returned all the love by turning her into the icon of the gay community in Spain.

This is round 3 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Brigitte Bardot:

"Los Angeles Times in 2011 ranked her as the second most beautiful woman in film, she won a David di Donatello award and was nominated for a BAFTA. Literally nicknamed a sex kitten, she used her fame to promote animal rights. And God Created Woman was so scandalous to US audiences that some theater managers were arrested for screening it"

"She was a sex symbol and her style is influential even today"

"She's just so iconic! Wikipedia extracts because why not : "In 2011, Los Angeles Times Magazine's list of "50 Most Beautiful Women in Film" ranked her number two" "The Guardian named Bardot "one of the most iconic faces, models, and actors of the 1950s and 1960s" "According to the liner notes of his first (self-titled) album, musician Bob Dylan dedicated the first song he ever wrote to Bardot. " I mean of course she is iconic in France, but she inspired many women outside of France"

"She wasn't just a sex symbol because men found her attractive and then that imagine of her was further promoted. But she was actually one of (if not) the first women to stand for emancipated women in a sexual way in a time when women were considered to mainly exist to please their man. She was famous for portraying women who lived their sexuality for their own pleasure and knew what they wanted. Very important! And also what's hotter than a woman driving men wild because they don't even know how to handle a woman with her own ideas and needs lol"

Sara Montiel:

#sara montiel #brigitte bardot #hotvintagepoll #fuck that old woman #ladies 3

[daydreamrry]

https://gossiprry.tumblr.com/post/692032255873449984/what-makes-me-laugh-the-hardest-is-that-she / spilled bc did you know that married couples slept in separate beds in the 50s? By the 60s if was no longer common as the tradition began to break in 1956, but it was still a tradition for more than half of the decade. What bugs me is that they could've just said this film was based in the 60s era, not 50s. The 60s fits the aesthetic of the film better. I don't like to rag on this production because there were so many other people on the crew other than O that really dedicated themselves for this project to the best of their ability and I feel like it deserves to be respected as such for their sake, but it just feels like the ball keeps getting dropped over and over and over again.

"... between the 1850s and 1950s, separate beds were seen as a healthier, more modern option for couples than the double, with Victorian doctors warning that sharing a bed would allow the weaker sleeper to drain the vitality of the stronger... Separate beds began to be seen as a sign of a distant or failing marriage in the 1950s. In 1956, birth-control advocate and eugenicist Marie Stopes railed against them: “Many of their inhabitants get devitalised, irritable, sleepless and unhappy, I think, because of them. The twin bed set was an invention of the Devil, jealous of married bliss,” she wrote in her final book, Sleep. By the 1960s, their cachet had gone." https://www.theguardian.com/books/2019/aug/16/rolled-over-why-did-married-couples-stop-sleeping-in-twin-beds

even i didn't know this lol thanks for the history lesson bestie ❤️

link to article

[mermaidsirennikita]

Since you read a lot of HR how do you feel about the debate that you shouldn’t judge characters through a modern eye since its 1800 or whatever? I see it a lot after bridgerton still getting discussed how emotional cheating and cheating are modern day concepts and not fair to judge characters for but I also see that critique in romance forums like reddit people excusing characters for things like dubcon because its the time period. How do you feel about that?

I think people are talking bullshit on several levels there, lol.

Cheating still existed in the 1800s. It may have been more tolerated culturally, but how it affected couples was very much an individual thing. Lmao, do these people not realize that religion was very significant and the Bible says “don’t do that”? Many rationalized it, sure, but people knew you technically should not do that and some partners did make a huge fuss over infidelity. So I’m calling immediate bullshit on that.

In fact, the entire concept of “well it was history so nobody knew it was bad” it usually entirely wrong. Almost every issue that we “now” know is bad was called out back in the day, it was just culturally tolerated or the legal repercussions were weak. Like people who say “well, nobody knew slavery was bad so” nah they did. For as long as slavery has existed, there have been people against slavery, and if you were a follower of a Judeo-Christian religion your religious text most likely had the story of the exodus from Egypt to support the idea that slavery was bad, but anyway. Dubcon is the same thing. It’s like that argument that rape was fine back in medieval times so it’s cool for the dragon show to do it. Nah, bro. Rape has been considered a crime for quite a while. How seriously people took it varied wildly, and indeed prosecuting someone for it was difficult. But there was literally a movie recently about the last duel in medieval France being fought in pursuit of prosecuting a man for rape. Sexual assault was more common than it is now…. Sort of? It’s still honestly remarkably common now. But it wasn’t something where everyone just went “okay that’s fine” and it wasn’t as casual as movies and fiction want you to believe. The 1800s were no that long ago, and our cultural mores have not changed as much as people want to think. Dubious consent is perhaps a bit grayer because it’s literally dubious, but people knew the difference between someone being enthusiastic and excited about sex and someone being cautious about it.

And then there’s the other thing…. Historical romance DOES NOT in any way reflect history accurately. The significance of love in marriage. The number of dukes, lol, the way people talk and act. They’re all ahistorical to varying degrees. The books are influenced by history, because history is wilder than people think, but they’re not accurate, and they frankly shouldn’t be because a truly accurate historical fiction novel of any sort cannot relate to a modern audience. I would argue that it’s impossible to create a truly accurate work of historical fiction because you haven’t as an author lived that era. Even the “accurate” books aren’t. Heyer’s chaste books are praised for accuracy—nah bro, she’s reflecting her own 1950s sense of morality.

So throw that out. And frankly, the idea that we’re arguing over the moral rightness of fictional characters is tiresome and pointless. It’s fiction. I don’t care if they’re acting correctly. I care if they act in a way that is interesting to me, and I care if the author made a good point and wrote the story well. I’m not surprised you see it on Reddit, but like….. it’s not for me. I don’t need to justify a character’s actions if the story is written well. See: why the dubcon in It Happened One Autumn I like, while a similar scene in The Duke and I bothers me.

I’m honestly more concerned about the modern political perspectives and morality of authors writing today than the morality of their characters.

#romance novel blogging

[fearlessinger]

Hello if this is weird be free to ignore it . But what are your favourite books ? ( Aside from TOA )

Hi! It’s not weird, don’t worry, that’s a lovely question! 

Not gonna lie tho, you’re putting me in a tight spot bc I’m terrible at picking favorites lol. for me it’s always “here’s my Current Obsession, and here’s everything else that left a mark on me one way or another which is basically everything I didn’t immediately forget 5 minutes after having read it. 

So, to make things easier for myself I’m gonna exclude a priori anglo literature bc there’s enough talk about that on this website already. This is still in no way an easy task ahhh

Italo Calvino. Honestly a lot of the names & titles I’m gonna cite may vary depending on when I’m asked but no matter what his name will always be somewhere at the top of any personal fave list of mine. I can’t even choose ONE book to recommend, everything he wrote is fantastic and no work of his is like the other, even his essays are a joy to read. In a famous cycle of lectures he outlines what he thinks of as indispensable qualities of the kind of literature he wants to write and read: lightness, quickness, exactitude, visibility, multiplicity, consistency - in order of importance, and it’s the best summary of his style I can think of. It has this ethereal, almost weightless, fairy tale-esque quality, even when it tells of real history. It has depth of meanings and truths but it never gives them to you straight; rather it invites you to make your own way to them, and the journey feels somehow both deeply personal and universal at the same time. His books are ones you can and will want to devour in one sitting and then think about for months afterwards. My first encounter with Calvino was The Baron in the Trees and its spiritual successors, The Cloven Viscount and The Nonexistent Knight, but the ones I’ve reread most out of all of them are The Castle of Crossed Destinies, which is really a book about the act of storytelling, and Marcovaldo, which is a gentle, humorous, melancholy portrait of the extremely modest, simple life, aspirations and dreams of a farmer turned industrial laborer in 1950s-60s Italy.

Jules Verne. I just inhaled his books as a child and will always hold them dear in my heart. I’m sure there’s a lot of stuff in there that’s not aged well, but nonetheless this is the kind of adventure I dreamed about quite literally, these stories just opened up my imagination like WHOA. Special mention for the In Search of the Castaways - Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Seas - The Mysterious Island unofficial trilogy, definitely my fave of the bunch, starring my proto-Blorbo Captain Nemo, a prime example of poor little meow meow ante litteram, LOVE that guy so much. And I’m gonna say something a lil heretic here but you can skip the slower sections! You can jump ahead dozens of pages if you want! You do not need to read everything to be able to enjoy these books, go straight to the good parts, skim everything else or go back to it later, put your own interest and pleasure first! (This honestly goes for all kinds of literature. Books do have a fast forward button and you should always feel free to use it)

In the same vein, Dumas (père). Just let me be the basic-est of basic bitches for a sec and rec The Three Musketeers + sequels. I know, I know there’s like 3000 adaptations of these works around we all know the story but I still think the og novels are worth a read bc they are great and just straight up FUN. 

Bianca Pitzorno is a tragically underrated kids’ lit author and the main reason why she’s so underrated is bc she writes almost exclusively about GIRLS. The horror. Her books were such a huge formative influence on me, with their fully fleshed out fully flawed female protagonists, driving their own stories both for good and ill. I’m afraid there may not exist english translations of most of her work, but if you manage to get your hands on a version that you can read of L’incredibile storia di Lavinia, La bambola dell’alchimista, Polissena del Porcello, La bambina col falcone, La bambinaia francese… I promise you’ll be in for an unforgettable ride. I love especially how weird a lot of her stories get, and how unabashedly hopeful they all are - sometimes even too much, but hey, that’s what kid me needed and I doubt I was the only one.

The Divine Comedy. Listen. Listen I don't know how this rec (I know you didn't ask but this has turned into a rec list apparently whoops) is gonna work if you don't know Italian bc poetry is so hard to translate even when the translators are given enough time and money to do it properly - something that's tragically more and more rare these days - and while I'm a big proponent of the 'just fucking read the text, you can always look at the commentary later' school of thought this is a case where the text is old enough and full enough of pointed yet obscure-to-us-modern-readers references that you really are gonna miss out on a lot if you don't have a good commentary on hand. So like, I'm not gonna pretend it's no work to read the Comedy, but damn if it isn't worth it. I know on tumblr Dante is mainly known as the guy who wrote self insert rpf of the Bible and I'm not here to tell anyone to stop joking abt it bc it's damn funny but I wish more people realized, too, how immense and nobilitating of a compliment to fanfic it is, to compare it to the Commedia. How empowering the comparison should be, bc IT IS. Because the Commedia is an absolute masterpiece. Not just on the technical plane (the way it straight up SINGS when it’s read out loud) but in the way it goes right to your heart. It's a work so full of love and so unashamed of it. It is about religion, yes, specifically a very medieval kind of catholicism, but it’s also fundamentally about PEOPLE. All of them, the good, the bad, the infinite combinations in between. About how only through the work of knowing them and loving them you can hope to get to truly know and love god.

Cesare Pavese. No joke this man’s writing can and WILL give u depression. You gotta take it in small doses. There’s two works of his that I can never stop thinking about: The Moon and the Bonfires, about rural northern Italy and the partisan war and family and blood and the way roots ground you and trap you simultaneously, which I will never read again because I'm not strong enough, and Dialogues with Leucò, a collection of imagined dialogues between Greek mythological figures exploring existential themes through incredibly effective and piercing back and forths, which I’ve reread a number of times and loved more every time. It’s a very short and incredibly dense book, and one that I recommend wholeheartedly. 

One hundred years of solitude. This is where I realize that there’s a bit of a common thread tying all my biggest faves together and it’s a kind of… mythological quality I guess? Tho not always strictly tied to classical mythology, obviously, of the storytelling. Not that it’s not grounded in reality, because it very much is, but that it sort of transcends it also on some level? Idk. This book made me feel small and finite in the best way, it told me of a whole world that I didn’t know about and yet that I could recognize and resonate with nonetheless in so many ways. Just a stunning, deeply compelling read all throughout.

I’ve been writing for like an hour already so I’m gonna stop here for now lol

I’ll leave you with the (not rrverse) book that’s next on my to read list bc I may as well keep plugging Italian authors, especially when they are actually writing in english: Let the mountains be my grave by Francesca Tacchi. I have high hopes for this one, the premise sounds extremely my jam

#books #recs #anon

[thora-jane]

Dress (Matt Mordock x Female! Reader)

(a/n) Hi everyone! here's something I wrote mostly asleep. I have a ton of wips right now but I felt like I should really post something. So here's a little story to hopefully keep you around while I adjust to getting my life together 😅

Summary: You’re Practically Foggy’s sister, so when Matt senses a change in your usual outfit and begins acting differently, it takes some convincing for Foggy to take it calmly, and a little convincing for you to realize how much Matt means what he says

Word count: 1950

Warnings: None? Matt's a Mess? Idk lol

He could sense it the second you walked into the room.

He had gotten used to all the sweatshirts and sweaters, the men’s dress shirts and hand-me-downs you got from Foggy that hid whatever figure you had. They didn’t fit you in a way that made you look particularly attractive, but between your family and Nelsons, the two of you were close enough (and broke enough) that taking his old clothes just made sense most of the time.

This was different though.

First of all, there was no lingering scent of Foggy on your clothes. This was new. Brand new. And maybe it was because of how new it was, or that it had only ever been yours, or just the fact that it fit you like you were a woman, but what he first noticed was the air of confidence you carried yourself with. You were standing up straighter, your walk was bolder.

You had always had shorter hair, you reasoned it was one less thing for you to worry about. Even though you always made a fuss when you hit the in-between months between short hair and long hair, often complaining that you had a mullet. The boys would tease you endlessly, and Matt would laugh so hard he’d turn red when you would threaten to cut Foggy’s hair while he slept.

“But you wouldn’t let her sneak into our room like that, would ya Matty boy?” he’d ask nervously.

“Are you kidding? He’d be holding the flashlight!” you would cackle, slinging your arm around Matt’s shoulder and pulling him close.

God, he would do anything to have you pull him close now.

There was a difference in the way your hair sounded as you walked, you hadn’t cut it, but he could smell metal. You had pinned back some of your hair to the side. He couldn’t sense the presence of any gems or stones on the clip, only metal and plastic, but there was no doubt in his mind that you looked stunning.

“Oh! (y/n)’s here,” Foggy said to Matt, waving over at you. You waved back, not a wild wave you would usually give, you weren’t trying to mess up anything about your look, but Matt knew your smile would blind him again if he could see.

“Oh, is she?” he asked, working extra hard to keep up his act of true blindness. He paused adjusting the grip on his cane before asking, “How does she look?”

Foggy shrugged, “She looks good I guess. I think she went out and got a dress, I’ve never seen her wear anything like that before. I didn’t think she even owned a dress. Didn’t think she wore- huh.” Foggy interrupted himself.

“What? What?” Matt hoped his pressing didn't come off as too desperate, but he couldn’t help it.

“She just turned around to say hi to someone,” Foggy narrated.

But it wasn’t enough for Matt, “And?”

“The dress is…what’s it called…it doesn’t exactly have a back?”

Matt nearly choked on the air he was breathing before spluttering out, “Open back dress?”

“Yeah, that,” Foggy agreed, sounding way too calm in comparison to Matt’s crisis, “Hey are you ok? You’re acting kind of strange.”

“I’m fine,” he cleared his throat, “I’m fine, don’t worry about me,” the very thought of you walking around with your skin exposed nearly sending him into cardiac arrest

He didn’t need super-hearing to hear his heart pounding as you finally made your way over to the two guys, “Hi!” you said, your smile only getting bigger. Foggy pulled you into a hug, “You’re looking good, Nelson. Did you cut your hair?”

Foggy only laughed, “You wish!” He earned a chuckle from you as he shook out his mane of shoulder-length hair, “I’m never going to cut out this regal head of luscious locks.”

“Try telling that to any jury you go in front of,” Matt said, hoping he could get you to laugh, too.

“Matt!” you gasped, turning to look at him better, “You look…you look amazing!”

“Usually that means next to nothing to me, but I’m sure you look quite beautiful so I’ll allow it,” he joked as you leaned in and gave him a hug. He was sure he was just being overly hopeful, but he swore he could feel your heart get faster at his words.

His heart stopped. Your scent overwhelmed him, the fabric of your dress so smooth it felt like it melted against his fingertips. As his hands brushed against your back, he was fairly certain he had died and gone to heaven, the thought of touching you intoxicating all his senses as you leaned into his hug. After a moment, you began to pull away, and he feared he had held the hug too long. But you didn’t step from his embrace, only held his shoulders at an arm's length with his hands still wrapped around your waist.

“You’re uh…you’re wearing a dress.” He pointed out dumbly, too scared to say anything else for fear of confessing all the emotions he felt at once.

“Yeah, does it feel ok? Do you like it?” your voice was tentative. His heart skipped a beat at the sound of your own; so earnest, genuine.

“It feels amazing,” He answered without hesitation.

The two of you stood there for a second, your arms around each other and smiling dumbly before Foggy put his hand on Matt’s shoulder.

“Could I steal him for a second? Thank you,” he didn’t wait for either of you to respond, instead, he yanked Matt to the side and whispered quite harshly in his ear, “What the hell are you doing?”

“What? She hugged you and then she hugged me?” He feigned innocence, adjusting his glasses.

“You know damn well what, Murdock.” Matt could tell in Foggy’s voice that he wasn’t truly mad, but he wasn’t exactly thrilled either, “Have I ever told you how she’s-”

“Basically your sister. I know, I know.” Matt finished his sentence for him, “Pretty much every time she leaves the room.”

“And do you know why I tell you?” Foggy’s voice was theatrical, which would ordinarily make Matt laugh, but his thoughts were directed more towards the pretty young woman in the corner who was in his arms mere moments ago.

“No?”

“Because I don’t want you pulling out the old Murdock charm on her! I’ve seen you with all the hot chicks on campus pretty much. It all goes the same. I don’t want you doing that to (y/n),” Foggy looked back over at her, she simply stood with her hands folded together, idly swaying to the music playing over the crappy sound system, “And besides! You’ve never acted like this around her before! She’s the same (y/n), I don’t see how this is any different.”

“I don’t see either,” Matt put on his dumbest smile, “I don’t see ever, actually.”

“Oh don’t give me that,” Foggy rolled his eyes, “I suppose there’s no stopping you, is there.”

“I’m afraid that dress has a texture I just can’t pass up-”

“Please, you’re gonna make my puke,” Foggy interrupted. “Well, I guess…I guess if you’re going after her all night that means any other woman here is fair game…”

Matt couldn’t resist a smile, “That’s right, go out there and be the most eligible guy at the law student’s gala, Foggy.”

“Wait and see, Murdock. Just wait and see.” Foggy clapped Matt on the back before walking off and straightening his tie.

The love-struck law student stood there for a moment, frantically gathering his wits before he did anything desperate or embarrassing. He took a second to readjust the cuffs of his sleeves before making his way back to you.

“What was all that about?” you asked, craning your neck to watch Foggy make his way to a group of women.

“Nothing too important, don’t worry,” Matt assured you, “Thank you for being here, by the way. I’m sorry we couldn’t pick you up at your dorm.”

“Oh, it was no trouble, and don’t worry about it. But I am curious, who’s plus one am I again?” you chuckled. This time, the uptick in your heart rate wasn’t his imagination.

“Well, Foggy is currently trying to woo half the women here, so it might not be a good look for either of you,” Matt began, adjusting his glasses, “I don’t have anyone though, so if you didn’t mind…”

“Well, I uh…I figured there was probably some woman you would bring or leave with…” you mumbled, “Don’t you usually find some unbelievably attractive woman to take with you at the end of the night that leads to Foggy sleeping on my floor?” you tried to laugh, but something in your voice sounded hurt.

Matt stepped closer, holding out his hand for you to take, “Do I?”

You took his hand, moving to delicately place your hand in his, “On more than one occasion, actually,” You shrugged, “I generally try to stay out of the way of heartbreakers such as yourself.”

Your shoulders were almost touching, and despite the fact that your words weren’t entirely false, he had somehow forgotten every woman he had ever been with.

You were right there, the girl that would barge into his dorm at the most random times. The girl that would sit and read a book or article or piece of text for him every time they were together and there were no braille copies available. The girl that had always continued to dodge his and Foggy’s questions about why she was still single. The girl who had done nothing but cover up in someone else’s clothes the entire time he knew her. Right there, right next to him, in something entirely your own.

And god how he wanted to be yours as much as that dress was.

“What if I promise to be careful,” he blurted.

“Excuse me?” You asked. He didn’t say anything right away, instead, he reached for your hand and brought your fingers right behind the corner of his jaw.

“You know how someone’s heart rate speeds up when they lie?” he began, trying hard not to relish too much on her touch.

“Well, your heart rate’s already pretty fast, Matt-”

“But you feel how fast it is, right?” He asked, swallowing the lump in his throat, “(y/n) I swear on my life I will not break your heart or treat this as a one-night hookup if you chose to be my plus one and spend the evening with me. Hell, we don’t even have to treat this like a date. In all honesty, you’re the most beautiful person in this room and I would be honored to have you at my side,” He took a deep breath, “Did my heart speed up at all?”

“Matt, you can’t see,” you chuckled.

“(y/n), please,” he practically begged, still holding your fingers to his jaw.

“No, I don't think it has…”You smiled, he could feel it as you leaned in closer. Your face was mere inches away from his and god, he could actually feel your breath and warmth and everything radiating from your face and you were teasing him.

“Never thought I’d see you like this, Matthew,” You mused, pulling his jaw just the slightest bit closer with your fingertips before dropping your hand, “It’s…odd.”

He cleared his throat again, adjusting the grip on his cane before offering his arm for you to take, “Miss (y/n), may I have the pleasure of accompanying you this evening?”

You bit the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing as you placed your hand in the crook of his elbow, “Why certainly.”

(a/n) Thank you for reading! Remember to drink some water and do some stretches and take some deep breaths. You made it through the day/night/afternoon and that's something to be proud of <3

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