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saybees · 3 years

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Some rather personal and tmi stuff, but I feel like I need to get it out somewhere and I don’t have anyone I really feel I can talk to about this now. It’s very long.

I’d like to start by saying that if you’re reading this please don’t tell me to just dump him. It isn’t that simple and it just isn’t helpful to say that to me.

So Jon and I have had issues in the past with porn. Jon has a porn addiction. I didn’t discover this until maybe a year into our relationship when I walked into the bathroom one day and he was watching porn and masturbating. At first I was more shocked than anything and didn’t know how to react, but it quickly turned into feeling really hurt.

I tried to talk to him about it and told him that it bothered me that he was doing that and it made me feel like I wasn’t good enough and our sex was too boring for him. It made me feel so inadequate that he had to go somewhere else for that stuff. He didn’t see the issue with it and because porn has become so normalized in our society and he has maintained that he doesn’t understand why it’s an issue for me, despite that I have explained to him many times that it really bothers me and makes me feel shitty. It feels like cheating.

Eventually I asked him to leave the bathroom door open when he goes in there because I didn’t really trust him. That didn’t stop him, however, and he continued to masturbate to porn in the bathroom even though the door was cracked open. I caught him and was really upset. It hasn’t happened again since I caught him with the door open.

I can’t even count how many times we have had this conversation/argument. It just hurts a lot and I really am so tired of having this talk with him. I asked my therapist that I used to see if I was being unreasonable and she said I wasn’t. She fully agreed with me that I wasn’t asking too much of him to stop doing it.

He doesn’t do it at home anymore, but I’m pretty sure he does when he’s at work. He’ll take a washroom break and very likely will do it then because he accidentally let it slip recently that he still masturbates. He tried very hard to redirect and I pretended I didn’t notice, but it’s been eating at me.

It wouldn’t bother me so much if he didn’t have a porn problem. I just feel like he doesn’t find me attractive or sexy. We don’t have sex very often at all and I pretty much always have to initiate it, which reinforces those feelings that I’m not what he wants. I don’t feel sexy enough or pretty enough and I’ve always had issues with feeling like I have an ugly face so this really makes it worse.

He used to follow lots of Instagram models, but has since unfollowed a lot of them, although there are still two at least that I’m pretty sure are Instagram models. Their accounts are private and I’m not going to follow them to find out what’s up. I’ll only hurt my own feelings even more than I did just going through the list of people he follows on Instagram.

I know I should talk to him about it again, but I am just so sick of having this conversation with him. Neither of us want to talk about it. He doesn’t want to because he feels guilty about it (obviously, since he has been hiding it) and I don’t want to talk about it anymore because the whole thing just makes me feel so terrible.

There was one incident where Jon had downloaded Tinder behind my back and he was showing me something on his phone when a notification popped up and it turned into me feeling like he was cheating and I cried and then he cried and it was a whole thing. He deleted it and hasn’t done anything like that since, but he didn’t include on his profile that he was in a relationship and wouldn’t give me an explanation as to why and he just wouldn’t say much other than that he wanted to make friends and talk to people, but it was just horrible and traumatic for me and for some reason I let him convince me that he was genuine and I stayed, although I really question that decision sometimes because it still deeply bothers me and I’m not entirely convinced he wouldn’t cheat on me after that. I just have a very hard time trusting him after the Tinder thing and the porn stuff. And I just feel like we didn’t really get to the bottom of that whole issue, but it feels like it was too long ago to talk about it again despite that it still bothers me.

I know we have to talk about it more, but I just don’t want to fucking do this anymore. I’m exhausted.

We might be moving to a different place in town here at some point and if he does end up buying another house I’m going to have to talk to him about this and if he isn’t willing to give up porn completely then I won’t be moving with him and I’ll stay in our current rental and we will be done because I know I will not be happy being with him for the rest of our lives if he can’t quit porn and I’ll always have to worry about it.

I did some googling and found countless articles of women (and others) saying they felt shitty that their men/partners watched porn behind their backs. So many other people who feel the same as I do and have been damaged by this kind of thing. It’s good to know I’m not alone in this, but it’s so terrible that so many people feel like this. It hurts a lot.

I’ve done some light research on the negative effects of porn and it really does seem to be very harmful, particularly for relationships. And I know he has been watching porn since he was very young, he’s talked to me about it before. I do truly believe porn is incredibly harmful and it is FAR too easy to get access to it. I feel like porn has hurt our relationship and our sex life a lot.

For our anniversary one year I even did a boudoir shoot by myself at home and made him a little book with sexy photos of me and gave it to him and he said he loved it, but he hasn’t looked at it since I gave it to him. That’s a real punch to the gut.

There was one other incident where our one friend, a lesbian, sent him and a few others a snapchat video of her making out with another girl that he used to hang out with when they were younger and they weren’t wearing tops (this girl is wild and does all kinds of stupid shit when she drinks, which is all the time) and he saved it for later. I found out because she had called him crying because someone she sent it to recorded it and sent it around to other people and everybody found out about it and this other girl had a boyfriend, but anyway he told me what was going on and he went to pull it up to show me, but she had deleted it and he told me he had saved it. I asked why and at first he lied and said he saved it so she could see it later and maybe think about what she had done, but I saw through that pretty quick. Eventually he admitted to me that he had fantasized about a threesome with those two girls and that’s why he saved it. This was not too long ago. Like late 2020. I was mad and needed some time to think and told him we would talk about it, but eventually I just told him that I didn’t want to have this discussion again (which I shouldn’t have done because I let him off the hook basically) and that if he felt like he needed to hide something from me that should be enough to know he shouldn’t be doing it in the first place. With that he said okay and we never talked about it again.

I just feel like I’m putting a lot into this relationship and he isn’t being considerate of me here. He makes excuses as to why he feels like he has to get off all the time and that it helps him wake up in the mornings or that he functions better once he’s done it (untrue, he functions the same no matter what) and it drives me up a wall that he will choose that over having sex with me?????? Like, hi hello I am a human woman(adjacent) and I am willing to have sex with you literally whenever you want!!!!!! And you’ll still choose watching porn and jerking off instead??????????????????????! Yeah, I totally feel like you want me. I totally feel loved and feel like you find me attractive. Yep. You watch porn of women who are a million times more beautiful and sexy than I will ever be and they do things I could never do or just don’t want to do and you’ll choose that over ME and tell me that you do think I’m attractive and sexy and that you love me, but you hardly actually prove that to me.

He doesn’t call me pretty unless I basically ask him to, which sucks because if I ask for the compliment it doesn’t feel real, but if I don’t ask I’ll never hear it. He is quite affectionate with me generally, cuddling up and stuff, holding my hand sometimes when driving, that type of stuff, but I almost never hear him, unprompted, tell me I’m pretty.

I don’t know, it just really bothers me and of course I have to be feeling like this right in the morning when I have a ton of school work I should do. I just feel really sad now. I don’t know how to handle this anymore. I don’t know who to go to for advice. My best buddy Ryan is having kinda the same issue with his girlfriend, but they both watch porn (they don’t live together like Jon and I do) and she has been feeling insecure about Ryan’s porn habits, but she also watches porn and I know they had a talk about it all the other day, but I don’t feel like it’s any of my business to ask how it went or anything because it just straight up isn’t, but Ryan is who I have primarily talked to about this whole thing and he’s been very sympathetic to me about it and idk I just don’t know what to do or who to turn to. The last time I talked to my therapist it was about this whole thing and she basically told me to do my own research and that she didn’t have anything else to say to me about it (because we had talked about it multiple times) and that felt really shitty and like I wasn’t allowed to still be having this issue so I stopped going to her and haven’t seen anyone else since.

I love him a lot, I really do, and we get along really well, usually, but this just hurts a lot and I know I should never have put up with as much as I have. I should have set more boundaries and been firmer with them. It feels so fucking bad that he’s done this time and time again and gone behind my back with this shit and I keep talking to him about it and it keeps happening.

I’ve mostly avoided talking about this here because it feels so personal and gross and like I shouldn’t talk about it (that’s that Christian guilt). I hate that society makes sex and related issues to be such a dirty topic and that we can’t talk about it because I feel really alone and shitty about this. I try to push it down and ignore it, but it’s so hard to do and I’m just really sad...

#personal #this whole thing makes me feel so fucking bad #i'm really sad rn #this whole thing makes me so anxious and i just don't want to deal with it at all anymore #but i know i need to because it'll just keep eating away at me if i don't deal with it

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thelostandforgottenangel · 4 years

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Good Morning everyone! I'm back!

I am happy to say that it is over, any reported harassment's against me were investigated; I had to send so much crap in and was told to wait; I was not guaranteed anything but it is luckily over and I can move past that and enjoy my followers and dear Tumblr family once again

Thank you for the few who gave me the support; I did get the messages whoever you are, I really would like to put a face to them but will not post them publicly to keep everyone safe.

Now I want to take this time to apologize to everyone for whatever I did because for the two people I had contact with talked me out of a very permanent plan to officially leave here if I lost my page after many years of being able to confide in people who cared and built me up because this is my safe zone; my safe haven away from my reality which I do need my escape to forget for just a second.

Returning to Tumblr after a forced hiatus, I was just happy to be back and check on my loved ones; getting my new phone in and finally having access to the internet again had me so happy until I got a message I did not fully understand

Now I had just returned; I had no clue what was going on when this happened and, yes, it upset me deeply to be delighted to talk to somebody I considered a friend and instead while replying to ask how they were doing wanting to be sure they were okay ((Understanding the person had been having troubles before I vanished I was looking in on a friend)) before the chat showed they had blocked me right after

Like everyone on here except one person; there is no way to contact me if I go missing. If I am not here due to I either: 1.) not having internet thanks to the person in control of it or 2.) functioning with a broken phone meaning - I did not get updates unless it was somebody who knew who to contact

I had no other way of reaching out since the friend is no longer active here after leaving months ago.

I had no clue what was transpiring and, Lexi, who anyone who has followed me since the beginning, is my lovely Anonymous penpal who sends me writing ideas for stories and the only real reason I left anonymous asks active because she, like me, suffers from extreme anxiety was trying to boost positivity for me because she understood my situation and the place I am in

I understand now she contacted a lot of people looking for me because; my anon messaging was finally turned off weeks before I left right after I stood up to my bully – I am sorry for that I did not get to say goodbye to anyone because it happened without warning and to those who knew what was going on I knew you would understand, and I know I worried a few people, it was never my plan to be such an inconvenience

Now at some point in the last few days, I had a dear friend send me some things in a submission that I never saw and wish I never had, thankfully; I know now, and for the sake of their sanity and to keep from adding any more drama or toxic actions to our wonderful fandom, they will remain unnamed because I do not want them catching any hate

Nobody here deserves hate.

So I will not be posting the original nor will I release the creator's name; this was a problem between us it stays between us because I do not wish ill on you; I hope you are successful and are having no more issues, I know returning to my page and not seeing any anon hate in my box after ten days is very refreshing for a change

I have seen everything said about me in three possibly four separate posts since it was all sent to me as one with little separations in-between, and I’m okay with it; I guess I have to accept this is how you feel I have nothing else to say on the matter

What you are saying is fine; I’m not going to let it get me, that is your opinion, and as human's, we are all allowed to have an opinion

Now, I don't know if you will see this, but I don’t think you are crazy in any way; I think you are intelligent and you have a huge heart; in our IM's you told me about your disorder also about you mental problem and like I said there I still understand; it runs in my family and, thankfully it bypassed me; but I still have compassion for those battling mental illnesses since I do have a few myself

I didn’t know about the ask you got until you mentioned it before I returned, and since mentioned by my best friend that she got one too earlier in the day I already knew who you were talking about

I had just seen it when I got blocked, and I didn’t fully get to read it until this morning when I was finally able to log on, and yes, I privately told you who that anon was because I had told her what a sweet person you were encouraging her to friend you, I have no idea how I lied but it is okay too

I was not here for those hate messages nor was I involved in anything I get too much hate daily when I am here to even dream of sending it but, nobody will believe me except anyone who has ever interacted with me

In your post, you warned people about three of those five people (Again; the ones I know about will not be named)

I only tried to interact once with your Raph; the response was enough to discourage me from ever trying again; you were stressed I got that because of everything going on I can only imagine you felt like it was an attack, I did not want an RP I just needed somebody to talk to that night, and, for once I didn't go directly to private messages as I do with everyone, that was my fault so I deserved the blow up even if I did not know about that RP until you explained. I apologized, profusely because I felt bad for bringing up – it was to talk, something many know I am not good at, I didn’t know the subject would hurt you; we had never interacted but you had offered to interact with me at one time if I needed you and trying to heal I attempted to reach out on the only thing I had seen on your page a long time ago

I don't get to RP for me haven't for a long while now, but I try to make others happy

But I am sorry I made an effort to reach out; you didn't need that

So if you are in the TMNT fandom, please be cautious because I only seem cause problems for the people I care for

You blocked me, you have your reasons, and yes, I do respect them and, after this post, it is in the past; I hope you are doing and getting along well

And guys, I can’t and will not give the name of this person or do it privately because I don’t want them catching any hate, but please, by all means, if you ever find their blog follow them; they are so talented and deserve so much love from this fandom

Lastly, while I will be staying on Tumblr because I do not want to leave any of you, I will be making several changes to my several pages soon to make sure this never happens again and to all my followers; I love you guys, and for that, I will no longer be posting struggles on here anymore even though I only gave you guys a penny in a 10-gallon bucket because I needed comfort that was too much; my problems are my burden, not yours; and I can not say how sorry I am that I ever put that on any of you

Nobody needs to know what their friends are dealing with when we come here to be happy because it is too much to put on anyone not personally dealing with it, so you will only see the sadness in my stories and only see the struggle in my art

My ask box will be open; anon will alternate day to day but, any hate I hope not to see will be deleted immediately; if your face is on the lovely message; you will be blocked right there just like the last 12 people since quarantine started for me in February

Also, while I am still here *this is a scheduled post it is 4 a.m. my time will post, hopefully after I am asleep cause my sleep schedule is grossly off* I do not want ANY hate streaming from this post, I know my followers will not do that to anyone; this is just me getting it out of my system

We are breaking the chain of toxicity right here! We were not meant to be friends in this lifetime but maybe the next

Tumblr, at one point, was always a beautiful, safe place for many of us who needed a way out of our situations; and when I joined in 2014 as a supernatural blog I was run off, then I came back again in 2016 for TMNT and found my family some of us just wanted a place to be us; to not be judged for who we were, it needs to go back to that for all of its members soon.

We have already lost way too many wonderful creators from here let's not lose any more

And if you have noticed a difference in the last three months, mostly pertaining to my writing; I downloaded Grammarly and started taking classes with my old English teacher on ZOOM who, bless her heart, had to deal with my dumbass in school because I suck at punctuality.

I was very self-conscious about admitting that, but somebody reminded me there is no shame in learning something again and I have been working hard

#scheduled #mun will be on later #been up all night with sick kids

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celestialmystical · 4 years

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2 + 2 = 4

You don’t really know until you experience it.

An expression we all know well and acknowledge as truth. We can speculate and ponder on how experiencing such and such can feel like such and such, but we don’t really know until we are in that situation.

I knew moving to South Korea would be confusing, frustrating, and overwhelming—I knew it like I know two plus two equals four. But I didn’t know it like I don’t know what it’s like to be the number four.

I got on the plane to go to South Korea, and after watching the stewards and stewardesses greet each person, I noticed that they greeted me in English, not Korean.

They just gave me one look and did that.

It didn’t offend me so much as make me sad. I didn’t want them to make it easy for me. I wanted to have to respond in Korean.

Boy did I get my wish.

The flight was easy. The huge airplane was mostly empty and I had the entire row to myself. I laid across the seats and slept for the 9 hours out of the 13.

Even though I had to have my mask on the entire, that’s not really what bothered me during the flight.

It was the fact that I had to keep my knees bent in order to lay across the seats. If I stretched them out, I’d hit the other row. Curse my 5’9 height. After awhile my knees were hurting and it was getting hard to breathe.

Not because of the mask, but because of my bra. If you’re girl, you know how annoying it is to sleep with something wrapped tightly around your rib cages.

The other four hours flew by somehow. I didn’t watch anything and barely read. I mostly just listened to music and also ate food.

We landed around 4 AM—an hour earlier than we were supposed to arrive.

Getting off the airplane, I had to go through several different customs people. Each one wanted a different document and it kept requiring me to take my backpack off my shoulders, shuffle something out and hand it to them. When I’d get it wrong because we couldn’t understand each other, I’d have to do it over again. This, wearing a huge jacket and a mask, carrying my hydroflask and my large cuddle toy, Matchie, made me extremely sweaty and tired.

The language barrier hit me like a freighter train. No exaggeration.

I, for some reason, though I knew it would be hard, didn’t know how hard it’d be—and mostly how much I would get down on myself because of it.

Once I got in the taxi to go to where I was supposed to be quarantined, I was more than relieved. I couldn’t wait to just get in my room and shut down. I was mad at myself for only being able to say “Annyeonghaseyo” and “Gamsahabnidia.” Hello and Thank you.

The taxi driver dropped me off on a desolate street with a bunch of convenient stores.

I was able to say to him “Migug” and “Eolma-eyo.” Which is “American” and “How much.”

He told me how much in Korean and I had no clue what he said so I just gave him 50,000 won.

I asked him if this is the right spot and he said it was.

He took out my two large luggage cases and then left.

I sat on one of the tables because I was expecting to see a table or a sign or something that would lead me to where I was supposed to go, but there was nothing but stores.

It was around 6 in the morning.

I called my mom and texted Glitter Queen, telling them I had no clue where I was and that I wasn’t sure if the guy took me to the right location.

As they were trying to figure it out, I tried my best to be positive despite the fact that I was stranded in a foreign country where I knew no one and nothing.

I noticed that there were people who were cleaning the trash off the streets the same way you’d see volunteers cleaning trash off the beach. Except these people were hired.

The pigeons there are extremely loud. They chirp at each other as if they are in a heated debate and they all think the louder they become, the better their arguments get.

It was sunny, really clear. The clouds were spotted and beautiful. The horizon was hazy and peachy. The air had a nice chill and smell.

Glitter Queen sent me the location of where the building was at, saying that possibly the taxi driver just took me a little ways away from it.

So I grabbed my luggage and charted off to where the pinpoint was.

Half way there, the pinpoint disappeared.

I didn’t have wifi and my international plan only worked for texts and calls.

Again, I had no idea where I was. I stopped by a bench.

I saw a lot of elders out for their morning stroll stare at me curiously.

How could they not? I’m a 5’9, white girl with two luggage cases wondering in their city.

I called my mom again who was calling everyone she could possibly get a hold of. She even called my insurance out here for help.

It was not even 7 AM, no one is awake in Korea. The people that I work for were definitely not awake. My mom and I tried calling them a bunch to no avail.

The insurance company called me and a worker in Korea tried to help me but it honestly beame such a huge waste of time.

No offense to that man. He was really trying his best to help me.

Without wifi, I didn’t have my location, so I had to try to tell him where I was. I had to try to pronounce street names and when that didn’t work I had to spell out the street name, which took forever because he barely spoke English himself.

I got so frustrated though that I hung up. I knew he wasn’t helping.

I kept walking to where I thought the building might be but ended up in just the back alley of some apartment complex where there were several trash bags.

My mom called and told me I needed to get back to the stores so I could have wifi so she could have my location.

So I trudged my suitcases back to my original spot. By then it was getting hot and humid, and there were more than just elderly people walking about.

I got back to the spot. The sun was out, peaking out from the tall buildings and beating its heat into me.

The man from the insurance called me back and I tried giving him my location but he said he couldn’t open it.

He then asked me if I could get someone Korean on the phone with him.

I looked around. There were construction workers and some guys just standing in front of a store with a cigarette.

I said there wasn’t anyone near me. The thought of asking for help and possibly having them judge me made me nauseous. I was already dealing with enough as it is, to have someone scold me would have set me off.

So he kept on trying to get me to say where I was at.

I finally got the balls to ask someone to talk to him mostly because I was just done.

The guy I went up to took my cry for help and phone as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

He talked to the guy and paced the street so casually. I was honestly thankful he was so nonchalant.

He then gave me back the phone and the guy said, “Yeah, you’re just going to have to wait for a taxi and then call me when you do.”

No taxis, I mean no taxis, were coming by that street. Absolutely none.

I asked if there was a number I could call. He said no.

After I got off the phone with him, I started crying.

I was beyond frustrated and scared. I thought then maybe I should just leave Korea.

Even my boss didn’t know how to help me. She told me to download an app called Naver which though I’m sure will be useful later, did not help me then because it showed that the building was where I went to on my own.

I didn’t want to go back there on my own carting two luggage cases again.

One of the consults who work with people who want to teach in Korea, like me, and work with the schools in Korea, finally called me and told me the building was right behind me.

I told her she was wrong. I was in front of a bunch of stores.

She told me it’s to the left of the CU store. That I had to go down the drive way and go into an elevator.

I did what she said, not expecting anything.

But low and behold, there was the elevator.

This entire time, the building was right behind me.

As soon as I was in my room, all of my bodily functions hit me at once.

I needed pee. I was starving. And I was beyond physically and mentally exhausted.

As soon as I was done using the restroom and eating, I hit the bed and crashed.

The entire situation was horrendous. I blame myself for not knowing much of any Korean, I blame them for not telling me what to expect—but I mostly blame the fact that my flight arrived an hour early.

If it hadn’t, there would have been someone with my name as a sign there to guide me, but there wasn’t.

But yeah. I really had no idea how frustrating, scary, confusing, and overwhelming it is to live in another country completely different from yours on your own until that experience.

It definitely opened my eyes and made me go from understanding the concept of 4 to becoming it.

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pikachu78109 · 4 years

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After Thoughts on Pokémon SwSh ((SPOILER HEAVY! TREAD CAREFULLY))

Okay, wow. So, I played and finished the main story in two days (I had so much free time after college classes) and I managed to power through the game in no time at all. Right now, I am doing post game, but I’ll save that for another time. For now, I want to address my overall thoughts on the main story and some of the pros and cons that this Gen has brought. Spoiler heavy content incoming!

Pros

1) The region is f*cking gorgeous!

When the Pokémon team really puts their mind to it, they create Galar to look really beautiful. From past generations, most of the town weren’t really towns, they looked like villages. And though the cities looked big like in Gen 5, 6, and 7, Gen 8 really pushed itself with its graphics and made the design of the towns and cities looks massive and eye catching. The colors pop and the things that stand out really stood out, such as MotoStoke, Wyndon, Hulbury, and Hammerlocke. These games are just so gorgeous to look at!

2) The Wild Area

Grinding as never been as fun when you’re in the Wild Area. Not only can you Dynamax your Pokémon when approaching as Power Spot, you can encounter rare Pokémon and Camp and do some serious training before the next Gym Match. I used this area a lot when playing through this game, and I have collected so many Berries and items and even battled some Pokémon to level up my team. This area has a functional use and something worth mentioning because I found this area to be extremely helpful whenever I need a bit of grinding. There are a few Trainers, heck there’s even a nursery if you want to drop off a couple of your Pokémon there, and they do sometimes give you items in exchange for Watt power. It depends on how much though, but you could get some rare items from them, if possible. Overall, a really great addition!

3) A Good Cast of Characters

Galar has so many characters and the majority of them are pretty good! While there are a few that I felt could’ve been stronger or competent even, most of the characters have different personalities and each one displays vast characteristics that make them stand out. Marnie, Bede, and Hop were great rivals and each one had a personal goal and under went character growth (Bede especially) as the story continued. Other characters like Sonia were present in the story and offered more to the plot, like telling about the legends in Galar or assisting you on your way. Leon was a character who was present most of the time and was a great Champion. Most of the Gym Leaders were unique in their own way (some more than others) and gave Gym Missions that could either frustrate you or not. It’s definitely not like Gen 7 where the cast gets involved one way or another, but in Gen 8, the cast never felt forgettable and had something to offer.

4) The Soundtrack Is Good

If I can pull a Trugreen 7 here, the music in this generation was pretty good. It brought a lot of life to the region and gave it atmospheric energy. My favorites include the Slumbering Weald, the Gym Leader theme, Chairman Rose’s theme, and Hop’s Battle theme to name a few. The Wild Area gets hit with a blast of bagpipes, giving it a distinct identity apart from the routes, cities, and towns. When the OST for this game comes out on iTunes, I’m definitely going to download some of these tracks!

5) Very Immersive

The attention to detail on the games bring out the immersion was pretty good. There’s definitely some humanity to the main character and there are a few things that accompany that. The Pokémon Camp mechanic was a great way to play with your Pokémon, make curry, and even invite other players to join your Camp. Not only that, but you could visit any nearby Pokémon Camps and interact with the Trainer’s Pokémon if you so wished. There’s a lot of upgrades to the character customization where you have a lot of options to choose from, from clothes to hair, so you could give your player character some identity that’s unique to you or look like you. The Power Up Spots found in the Wild Area invites players to join in a battle against a Dynamaxed Pokémon, so the use of teamwork and connecting with other players helps bring out more usage to the Dynamax mechanic. The region can get pretty easy to get sucked into and it shows.

Cons

So, now that I covered some of my personal favorite pros, I will now discuss some my personal cons that I have with this game. Keep in mind that these cons are of my personal opinion and maybe you might disagree, which is perfectly fine! Anyway, here they are!

1) The Story was Lackluster

As a new game on the Switch, the build to the story was something that I was looking forward to. I mean, there have been leaks about the story that were more like rumors, but they sounded really interesting and it got me hyped for the games. After playing through the story, it wasn’t much. The story, for the most part, was hardly a story. You’re just going around Galar, competing in the Gym Challenge and stopping whatever obstacles that come your way, such as Team Yell. Plot wise, there’s nothing. And when I mean ‘nothing’, I mean that the plot didn’t attribute to anything spectacular. The ending to the story felt very anti-climatic with the whole Eternatus situation and could’ve been handled better with the proper timing or with a better build up. Eternatus does not get mention much throughout the entire story and we are led to assume that Eternatus is the cause of The Darkest Day. That detail felt super unclear to me and I couldn’t tell what the f*ck was going on until the very last half of the game. I will get into more of that later, but for now all I can say is that I liked the leaked rumors more than the actual story we were given.

2) Chairman Rose Is A Weak Antagonist

Why? WHY?! As much as I like his battle theme, Chairman Rose is such a dumb antagonist! Listen, I know that villains in Pokémon can either be weak or great, but it all boils down to their motivation. Their motivations have to at least make some sort of sense, even if it is mediocre or half assed. Chairman Rose’s motive is all based around semi good intentions that can be similar to Lusamine’s from USUM. However, Chairman Rose doesn’t seem entirely aware of what he is doing and jumps into whatever scheme that he thinks might work and help all of Galar. Instead, his plans come off as lazy and last minute. We don’t get any occurrences to his antagonistic intentions because we are devoted to our Gym Challenge while Rose hides behind the shadows. To his credit, he would have to be the most sane antagonist in all of Pokémon and does turn himself in afterwards, so clearly he knew that he f-ed up. That being said, he would have to be the weakest Pokémon villain in my book and I would’ve preferred his secretary Oleana to be the villain instead.

2) Oleana Should Have Been the Main Antagonist

Like I said, Oleana should have been the main antagonist in these games. From the get go, she gave off so many red flags for being a character with less than good intentions but was actually a supposed Admin instead. I mean, she gives off so many bad vibes that I almost believed that she was the antagonist, not Rose. This was just a missed opportunity to me, because in the final stretch of the games, you get a bunch of Macro Officers who supposedly started a fan club surrounding Oleana. Like, wtf?! If you’re lackeys are going to making a fan club dedicated to you, then that has to say something. Oleana has always been a character that just had a cold expression on her face, but she’s left in a position that should’ve been rectified. Once again, this was a missed opportunity.

3) The Champion Battle Could’ve Been Better

As much as I adore Leon, the Champion battle against him didn’t feel as challenging as I hoped it would be. Instead, it almost felt like Gen 6 all over again with me almost knocking out his team completely with little to no effort involved. And he’s supposed to be the ‘undefeated’ Champ in Galar! Shouldn’t he be challenging? Shouldn’t he give me a hard time by providing moves that could put my team in a bind? There’s not much I can say about this other than the fact that this battle could’ve been better. I don’t know about other players, but from this experience, the Champion battle didn’t feel, well, Champion enough.

Final Thoughts

Okay, final thoughts. Obviously, I do have a lot more to say about Pokémon SWSH, but I didn’t want this post to become a lengthy essay. There were definitely some step ups and it’s clear to see where the steps were made to creating this game. Despite the controversy surrounding this Gen, I hope that this generation gets recognized beyond that. There are good things about this game that I pointed out, but there were also some things that felt rushed or didn’t make much sense.

I can’t say that I regret buying these games, because I am glad that I went to Galar and experienced many things from that region. Still, the things that stood out poorly really did show, which is a bummer because these were missed opportunities that could’ve made the games a lot stronger. I don’t think that Gen 8 is a bad game (heck I place that title onto USUM) but it’s definitely in a mixed bag with me.

If I were to rate this game on a scale of 1-10, I would give a 6/10, mainly because of weak story but accompanied with beautiful visuals and a decent cast of characters. The game does have some replay value but I believe that I might restart my game and play through everything all over again. That’s how I usually roll.

Recommending this game to other players would be difficult given the reputation this game has, but as a Switch game, it does an okay job. I just hope that the next games will have more effort and something to look forward to without any unnecessary drama to blacklist it. I can only dream.

#pokemon #pokemon sword and shield #nintendo #gen 8 #galar #spoilers

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juleswolverton-hyde · 5 years

Text

Comfort is coming (YG x Reader)

Genre: Fluff, College/University AU

Pairing: Student!Yoongi x Student!Reader

Warnings: No warnings apply

Summary: Hard academic labour deserves to be rewarded with a treat every once in a while. For example, with holding a marathon of a favourite series while eating a tub of ice cream.

And the unsuspected company in the form of the silent force under the same roof.

There are times when life is hard, when it knows periods wherein every single thing that is normally so ordinary now forms an extraordinary addition to the amalgamation of educational stress. Each day is filled with nothing but typing on the flat slightly illuminated keyboard of the matte silver MacBook filled with academic files, hoping to finish that close reading essay that was thought of too easily, when a heavily caffeinated mind is not occupied by trying to process every bit of information eyes framed by glass absorb from paper. It always is the same song and yet its dance can never be learned.

Day in, day out.

Sigh after sigh.

Nevertheless, they pass, eventually, invoking feelings of tremendous relief, mental devastation and exhausted defeat to flow throughout a learning being again and again. Today is one of those moments in which this memorable potion is drunk after completing the deadline and cramping up with pain inflicted by ink in a most powerful tool and chaotic panic at not understanding the capability of the human intellect despite cramming hours on end.

The leather bag is thrown onto the floor at the entrance of the apartment shared with a silent stoic raven-haired force who composes music in the hush habitual to the residence, headphones always on in the bedroom functioning more as a studio even when nobody is home. In fact, it is not unlikely to think the padding of toes merely clad in socks goes unnoticed, the noise-isolating padding tuning them out immediately after removing nightly black and crisp white Adidas sneakers in the tiny entryway and putting them into the shoe closet next to the entrance.

It is not minded since it is part of the routine, the only moments of really enjoying each other’s company being dinner and occasional mutual trips to the supermarket to stock up for the coming week. Lunch is never shared because either party picks up something in the cafeteria of the university building they have to be for a seminar or lecture or somewhere in the big concrete jungle, alone or with a friend. Breakfast is also rarely a moment of true friendship, Yoongi skipping it on a daily basis yet always nagging the curiously accepted housemate when there is a risk of giving into the same habit. It has gotten to the point of being forced to wait until the musician finishes his characteristic double espresso and preparing a decent enough meal for one likely running late for class whenever the scenario presents itself, nonchalantly blocking the way in every instance feet try to slip away from the scene to crack on or sending empty threats behind a turned back.

Although, in hindsight, the same happens in the event of dinner and not feeling too hungry if at all.

Withal, skipping a meal will have to be excused for the day because when bone tired limbs have exchanged the complicated outfit - consisting of onyx leggings matching the same-toned dress underneath a denim jacket and above knee-height light brown leather boots - for dusk-shaded Puma sweatpants and a plain ivory V-neck shirt, nothing will be done anymore. Bare feet crawl under the alabaster thick sheets after wrapping them in the blanket coloured in a murky earth and mossy tone, moonlight-shaded MacBook opened to the downloaded Game of Thrones episodes the quiet strangely kind power roaming the same house shared by email at accidentally discovering a mutual love for the series during a boring lecture, sharing earphones to watch season one painfully unfold all over again because, apparently, Yoongi had just started it.

And, although already having seen the first few batches that were sent by digital means before illegally online, they nevertheless bring a grateful smile to tired lips each time because it is due to this sharing of documents a splendid opportunity has been steadily formed to indulge in a marathon to withdraw from the world in silent celebration of a liberation from stress.

However, it would appear the musician has stopped watching recently since conversations have led more often to forbidding giving any spoilers for season four and further. Though, when asking to brand new seasons bought on DVD on the hard drive to add to the little nerdy collection on the bedside table also functioning as a headboard, Yoongi gladly rips the files and sends them over email thus adding both to the personal collection and that of a soul glad for the kindness in spite of the more stranding chit chats since there have not been many moments of bonding since moving in four months ago. Other than the series, there is little to talk about that which has been discovered as common interest let alone bond over and both working and hanging out with different people besides the study does also not greatly help in forming a deeper meaning to the fragile friendship.

Just as a comfortable position is taken up and noise-cancelling white headphones put on, a digit hovering above the touchpad for the cursor to start from the very beginning of the visual version of “A Song of Ice and Fire”, a dimly audible knock is followed by an immediate opening of the door to the private haven. Obviously disregarding the polite pause to wait for consent, Yoongi stands on the threshold, bangs as dark as ink covering a pale forehead and the light skin of the resident stoic silent force further accentuated by the overall casual outfit of ripped jeans and a T-shirt that could blend easily into the shadows. ‘Judging by your appearance, I wager it’s either that time of the month again where you get grumpy at me for no good reason and act like a drama queen or you just made your exams and deadlines.’

‘Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be composing or something? You normally ignore me until before dinner.’ The constraints on hearing are removed while eyes wander to the bright green slightly translucent plastic convenience store bag held by bony skillful fingers, light up at registering what the item within it is and seeing a comforting sympathetic curve on lips having lost every sense of mocking when looking back at the unexpected visitor. ‘Why the ice cream?’

‘I never ignore you, Y/N. I know I don’t say much and we don’t have much of a relationship, but ever since you’ve been here I’ve had no choice but to observe you on a daily basis, looking as shabby a-’ An offended palm lashes out as the flatmate sits down on the edge of the mattress - a bed frame a disturbance to the overall minimalist aesthetic - on the cedar floor and puts the bag down, the sharp slap of skin on skin resonating in the temporary hush. The hit has a deceivingly powerful impact because a red outline already begins to form and makes the baffled young man cover it protectively in the instant the imprint is noticed. ‘What the- Y/N! What the hell?’

‘That’s for calling me shabby. It’s not, it’s comfy.’ The pout in which the last statement is made returns clear amusement with a caring undertone to the other’s shocked expression. The digits reaching out to pat locks depicting the aftermath of academic stress are swatted away, arms crossing in defiance afterwards while an unforgiving glare holds a warning strengthening the one made in a voice that cannot sound entirely angry due to the gratefulness towards the pale onyx-haired lad for checking up on an exhausted somewhat friend. ‘Don’t touch me. I’ll bite your fingers off if you try again.’

‘Fine. Here I was, thinking I’d cheer you up with the ice cream you always buy when you’re like this, but apparently, it isn’t appreciated. Guess I’ll give it to Joon or Jimin, instead.’ An attempt at getting up is made yet stopped directly by apologetic palms at the ends of uncrossed arms clad in too long sleeves, a tug on the wrist asking to return while also not being able to help but glance longingly at the icy cinnamon roll treat that threatens to leave alongside the present company. ‘Oh, so now you want it, huh?’

‘I’m sorry, if that’s what you want to hear.’ Albeit reluctantly, an apology for the defiance is given, knowing full well the playful mocking attitude of the fellow student though personal pride was still damaged at being called badly composed style-wise.

‘You’re forgiven. Look, I’ve gotten to know your personality through actions. In university, you’re the independent hard-working calm girl while at home you’re one giant ball of stress who’ll get frustrated with deadlines again the day following a bit of rest. But it is days like this one that you’re happy and it’s annoyingly rubbing off on me.’ The tub in the plastic bag is put in the lap covered by the thick alabaster duvet. ‘Making me want to see you be a little content hermit. Here, eat up and relax. You’ve earned it.’

Brows furrow in played confusion, teasing like him howbeit in retaliation for the insult earlier in spite of the oddly satisfying confession at not being a mere invisible force like the musician. ‘How am I supposed to eat this without a spoon?’

A contemplating nod, acknowledging the treat cannot be enjoyed without otherwise and should have been brought along from the beginning. ‘Right... I’ll get you one.’

‘Can you make it two?’

‘What?’ The surprise at the request raises the indifferent husky voice by a few tones.

‘I can’t eat this all by myself, though. So, do you-’ Doubtful irises shift from the favourite ice cream to the screen, awkwardly moving on the mattress thanks to the self-made constraints on wrapped feet, and back to Yoongi whose expression briefly transforms into characteristic stoicism before showing a ghost of a rare gummy smile. ‘Do you want to watch Game of Thrones with me?’

‘Sure. Which season, though?’

‘Three. Where are you?’

Sheepishly, the creative genius rubs the back of the neck in obvious hesitance to admit something. Regardless, as always, what needs to be said, is said is as serious a tone as possible. ‘I’ve kinda forgotten since I think I stopped halfway. Although, I’ve seen the Red-’

‘We. Do. Not! Talk about The Red Wedding.’ An accusing finger rises in offence at bringing up the sensitive subject about a most traumatic and tragic event in Westeros. ‘Not a single word more about it, Min Yoongi.’

‘I forgot how immersed you are in the series.’ A roll of the eyes goes accompanied by an amused sigh as palms plant themselves on hips and a headshake emphasizes the entertainment at the, perhaps, too extravagant reaction. ‘Alright, I’ll shut up. You start up the point from which you want to watch, but no further than the event we just spoke about, and I’ll get the spoons. So you can shovel the ice cream in.’

‘One more degrading comment and I’ll have your head!’ The empty threat is shrugged off by the leaving flatmate who has always laughed off these types of statements, either frustratingly coaxing more out or merely mumbling something along the terms of being cute which, in turn, raises more protest that, again, gets treated in the same manner. It is a viscous endless circle.

‘Who are you? Geoffrey Baratheon?’ A smug glance over the shoulder invites a new discussion that on one hand wants to be held while, on the other, the aftermath of educational stress does not allow it.

Henceforth, it is hoped to be ended with a final deciding futile violent phrasing. ‘I will be if you don’t get the bloody spoons.’

A reflecting tilt of the head, raven locks partially covering up the devious expression of the annoying yet beloved musician. ‘Maybe Cersei.’

‘Go.’ The command comes out between gritted teeth, absolutely done with the subject and too eager to attack the tub of cinnamon roll goodness before it is all melted.

‘As my lady commands.’

Vaguely in the distance sounds the barely audible padding of bare feet towards the kitchen after the flatmate has left the room, leaving a small crack in the door in the wake filled with endeavours at soothing kindness. Although it might mean inherently nothing, the tight grip on the edge of the warm duvet cannot be helped as the heart flutters with innocent joyous sentiments bordering on a deeper version of themselves. Especially when Sense comes in to calculate the outcome of the sum of caring behaviours and recalled mental transcripts of past conversations, however trivial, alongside the little gestures in the studying composer’s absence in the form of song recommendations on post-it notes or sharing earbuds inconspicuously during boring lectures or seminars to listen to the same song.

The clinking of the cutlery drawer being searched, looking for the right spoons.

The sound of a metal wave when the loud impact of the momentum makes the insides shake in unison when it is being slammed shut despite the mechanism ensuring a gentle closing.

Returning bare toes underneath a delighted sliver of a grin as slim pianist fingers present the retrieved items, one of them handed over with a broad smile that is glad to see the eagerness with which it is accepted and the tub opened to attack immediately.

Once more Yoongi strikes down on the edge of the mattress but this time to look for a comfortable position to sit in and getting incredibly close while doing so. It is not unusual to be fairly intimate during educational hours, but this is a whole new sort as the onyx-haired man tries to secure a seat just in front of the night table functioning as a headboard, thus placing an utterly confused girl between black pepper and ink scented legs. ‘Scoot over. And don’t you dare eat that whole tub by yourself. You always get me worried for your health when you do. I enjoy seeing you eat, but you shouldn’t overdo it.’

‘It’s only 360 calories and I’m an adult. I can do what I want.’ Awkwardly, an attempt is made at putting a bit of distance between bodies by trying to ease into a lying position next to the curiously intimate flatmate so that only shoulders touch.

However, the composer does not allow it and makes use of the clumsy unbalanced shuffling to pull the spine flush against a soft warm chest, locking the captured party by grabbing the laptop from the side and placing it on top of the two-person lap which has just been created and locking ankles in place after rearranging the warm sheets to cover both parties.

Both friends.

Or more, though that remains to be seen when the confusion will be explained by the course of Time.

As if nothing unusual has happened, blatantly ignoring burning ashamed crimson cheeks, the cursor flies over the screen to start up one of the episodes without knowing the exact point from which an original beginning of the marathon wanted to be made. ‘Where do we start?’

Hands still wrapped about the cinnamon ice cream carton, spoon balanced between nimble fingers, grab the treat a little bit harder to calm down while speech clearly portrays being affected by the sudden show of closeness. ‘Season three, episode- no, wait. Season one, episode one.’

The best way to remember all that has transpired in the politics of Westeros after escaping the realm for a while is to watch the game of thrones unfold all over again despite almost being able to recite every scene by heart. ‘That’s where we’ll start.’

‘I think I still rec-‘ The considering protest is broken off by a spoonful of cinnamon ice cream from the rapidly opened carton box, tired of having to wait to finally kick back and relax in, apparently, good human company.

‘Shut up, Lannister, and just start the series.’ The nicknames from the houses each individual supposedly belongs to have become a sort of inside joke to refer to one another and it would be a lie to say it was not missed in rare actual conversations. It brings back the memories of that first moment of watching this exact same beginning to the turbulent fantastical political chaos, huddled together while plainly ignoring the professor talking about a subject undoubtedly important for the exam but which at the time did not matter whatsoever. Perfectly content watching the battle for The Iron Throne unfold and taking a quiz to figure out where one would be in Westeros was it the real world.

The topic of the lecture did matter, as would be discovered, for the close reading.

‘Okay, fine, Tully, we can still cha-’ Another icy bite cuts Yoongi off again before irises return to the screen and a weary head lies down on the top side of a cushiony stomach in splendid delight, eating ice cream while regarding a bloody imaginary history.

Winter is coming.

But comfort is already here.

#BTS #hyunglinenetwork #hyungline #btsguild #Yoongi #SUGA #Agust D #Min Yoongi #BTS fanfiction #BTS fluff #BTS College Au #BTS University AU

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beca-mitchell · 6 years

Text

Aubrey Posen's Guide to Using Social Media Effectively

summary: Aubrey learns that knowledge isn’t always power. In fact, she’d like to forget that she ever believed that.

aka this is an Aubrey-centric fic in which Aubrey learns that Beca and Chloe are seeing each other through various social media and how she deals with this.

word count: 6.5k

author’s note: Happy birthday @velmster!!!

Thank you for keeping me somewhat calm when we met bsnow. Thank you for helping me write my Pitch Perfect lectures. And thank you for being an incredible friend. I know how much you were looking forward to this story, so I really wanted to make sure it was finished for your bday!

For everybody else, this story is based on a true story about how I found out my roommate and best friend were dating each other. Some embellishments here and there, but otherwise, yes I am crazy.

Also on AO3.

“Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt.”

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Aubrey Posen dislikes social media.

It’s not that she’s old, it’s more that she just doesn’t get it. Every day, it seems like a new social media network is created and Aubrey has pretty much only just figured out how to make a Bitmoji for her Snapchat account.

It’s mildly irritating that Chloe spends most of her time on one social media platform or another, flitting between her laptop and phone and persistently attempting to show Aubrey cute photos of corgis.

Well, she doesn’t dislike the content, it’s just that social media seems like a really difficult thing to keep up with and she has to worry about not flunking out of her MBA program.

Her buzzing phone jolts her out of her musings.

Instagram: chloebeale has sent you a video.

Knowing Chloe, it’s probably a meme, a topical video, or just a cute fluffy video of a corgi or a pug. Somehow, Chloe still manages to suss out when she’s feeling down because the videos tend to be on point with everything she’s going through at the moment.

She supposes just one more Instagram video of a corgi lying on its back won’t hurt.

Living with Chloe after Barden only makes sense. By the time Chloe finally graduates from university, Aubrey is done with managing the lodge and wanting to pursue something a bit more prestigious again.

They somehow both end up in New York, though Chloe has started working for an advertising agency and Aubrey has started school at NYU. Aubrey recalls that living with Chloe for their first year of Bellas co-captaincy had only been natural - as much as it had been a necessity. They weren’t allowed to have the Bellas house all to themselves because their entire team would be primarily first years. Without the allure of having a full team, student government had elected to allocate their treasured house to yet another sorority on campus.

Back then, Aubrey immediately shot down Chloe’s idea to join the sorority. Instead, she got to work and found a cute two-bedroom townhouse, small enough for the two of them and yet large enough that she doesn’t necessarily have to see Chloe’s things encroaching on her personal space.

If Aubrey’s being honest, Chloe’s ‘things’ might be a misnomer.

The absolute parade of people she’s seen (and heard, on many occasions) leaving Chloe’s room in previous years? That might be more accurate. It had admittedly stopped when Chloe set her eyes on one Beca Mitchell in the fall of 2011 and Aubrey saw significantly less people leaving their comfortable little townhouse. Instead, she saw more of Beca Mitchell than she would have liked back then, absolutely pestering Chloe with her latest music innovations or whatever the hell she called them.

And the next year, Chloe stayed back at Barden for another year with Bellas (read: Beca), she helped Chloe wrangle their treasured Bellas house back from the sorority and the rest is history.

Now, in New York City, freshly graduated, Aubrey has a little trouble finding something as cozy considering rent prices in New York City and the budget they’re both working with. She finds a nice two-bedroom (read: two-closet) apartment in East Village, with a functioning bathroom, kitchen,and , thank God, a working dishwasher. It’s a steal, even if Aubrey had flirted a little with the landlord and his wife to get a good price.

It’s a steal and she doesn’t have to share a bedroom with Chloe. She won’t have to hear Titanium for the millionth time.

Ultimately, Chloe is a good roommate. She picks up after herself. She cooks. She cleans.

(Aubrey has heard nightmarish stories from Chloe about what it had been like when Beca and Fat Amy shared a room in the Bellas’ house.)

The thing about Chloe is that she really has no sense of personal space. She enjoys shoving her phone into Aubrey’s face to show her a funny text or a cute image. She’ll ask Aubrey loudly and inappropriately whether she needs more tampons halfway down the aisle in the supermarket. She tries to braid Aubrey’s hair sometimes when they’re both lazily waiting for their laundry in the dingy laundromat - emphasis on tries . She sets Aubrey up on about five blind dates only their third month into living together in Manhattan.

In fact, Chloe’s fairly infuriating because she does all these things without asking and never wants anything in return. She never talks about her own feelings - the ones that Aubrey has to draw out of her with painstaking precision. In fact, Aubrey sometimes worries that her obsession with Beca Mitchell might be getting out of hand. Aubrey tries to remind Chloe that Beca isn’t so bad without her ear monstrosities and that maybe Beca just needs time to see the light (read: Chloe), like she did with her ear piercings.

Chloe just smiles and asks her whether she wants to get McDonalds for dinner.

Aubrey would never ask for another best friend.

“You know what you should do? Download Tinder, Bree. I’m sure the selection here is much better than Georgia.”

“No.”

(She downloads Tinder.

It is admittedly not horrible.

She ignores the smug look Chloe shoots her.)

Aubrey should have seen it coming, in retrospect. There’s something about Beca Mitchell that makes Chloe completely lose her mind whenever they come within touching distance of each other. Aubrey can’t recall Chloe ever being so touchy with anybody else, especially not when she vehemently reassures Aubrey that they’re “just friends, besides Beca is seeing Jesse.”

It’s weak and they both know it, but Aubrey supposes that the fixation on Beca means that Aubrey will get some peace and quiet in their apartment for the time being.

Until one day, Beca is very much single. It’s not even news that comes directly from the woman herself since Beca pretty much moved immediately to Los Angeles after graduating to pursue the first label that offered her a job. No, the news comes from Fat Amy who actively updates their group’s Facebook chat with whatever gossip she can find...usually about the Bellas themselves.

It’s actually kind of deja-vu, seeing the hurricane that has seemingly gone through her home. Aubrey comes home to a mess of crumpled-up pieces of paper and about five empty cans of cider.

“Oh, Chloe,” she murmurs, reaching for the blanket draped over the back of the couch.

Sitting with Chloe on the couch while she sleeps restlessly? That’s kind of deja-vu as well.

Instagram: chloebeale has sent you a photo.

It’s a photo of Jesse with his arm around a woman’s shoulder.

chloebeale: i can’t believe he moved on already!!!!!

Aubrey scowls, typing back. She doesn’t understand how she has five separate conversations going on with Chloe. Can’t she stick to just one account?

aubreyposen: You’re literally in the living room. You couldn’t have shown this to me in person?

aubreyposen: why don’t you message Beca if this is bothering you so much?

An hour later, Aubrey notices the Seen receipt and suspicious lack of reply from Chloe.

Aubrey finds out that Beca is actually living in New York before Chloe does. It’s only because she bumps into her at their local Trader Joe’s and is about to berate Beca for not knowing how to use her eyes when she realizes-

“Beca?”

“Aubrey?”

Aubrey is pleased to note that Beca looks mildly terrified of her in that moment, but she can’t quite dispel the warmth that rises up when she sees her friend. She had missed Beca, despite all her original reservations about her.

“I’m going to hug you now,” Beca states, somewhat awkwardly before proceeding to do so. When she pulls back, she looks equally astounded. “Wow, what the hell? This is crazy. I didn’t know you’d be here.”

“In this Trader Joe’s?”

Beca laughs at that, shaking her head. “No, I just meant...here, I guess. Manhattan.”

“How would you? You never message us.”

The mild terror is back in Beca’s eyes, alongside a glimmer of genuine regret and sadness.

“I thought I knew what…” Beca trails off, looking absently at her full cart. “How is Chloe?” she asks, lowering her voice. “I never…”

In a sympathetic streak, Aubrey shakes her head, stopping that difficult line of thought. “Why don’t we set up a kind of reunion dinner or something? Get more Bellas down here.”

Beca brightens and relaxes at that. Aubrey takes the opportunity to critique Beca’s choice in fresh produce.

There’s nothing quite like a Bellas party, even if the entire evening had been hijacked by Fat Amy. Somehow, she manages to wrangle them all into a party near Columbia.

“Do you go here?” Aubrey asks. She realizes that she’s not exactly sure what Amy is doing in New York. They had kept in contact sparsely over the years, but Aubrey knows stuff about Amy mostly through Chloe’s updates over the years.

“No, not really,” Amy answers vaguely. Aubrey doesn’t bother pursuing that. “Hey, do you think Beca and Chloe will finally figure it out?”

“Figure what out?” Aubrey asks absently.

There’s a long silence while Amy drinks from her cup, watching her carefully. Aubrey waits, raising an eyebrow in response to Amy’s silence. Amy finishes her entire drink first before saying “never mind.”

Aubrey shrugs and squints through the darkness. She still feels a protective streak flare up in her at the thought of her teammates, even though she’s long been off the Bellas’ team. She takes in how far they’ve come - how distant and precious their years at Barden seem now, compared to everything. She is so grateful for the experience. Even though these are mostly Chloe’s friends, if anything, Aubrey feels like there’s definitely a connection and bond with this set of Bellas - one that’s stronger than ever before. She begrudgingly attributes it to Beca’s hand in reshaping the Bellas, and though she’d love to maintain that she finds Beca irritating about 90% of the time, she knows how untrue it is and how much she considers Beca a friend.

Looking back up, Aubrey scans the crowd again, relaxing against the cushions of the couch, which she has deemed the perfect vantage point.

She pauses.

She thinks she sees Chloe grabbing Beca’s hand and pulling her out onto the makeshift dance floor and Beca’s expression indicates mild protest and discomfort, but she follows obligingly. Aubrey thinks she sees this because they disappear as quickly as it happens.

She actually doesn’t think too much of it until much later. She sees what appears to be Beca and Chloe in a heated argument on the couch she had once been sitting on, now haphazardly pushed to the side. They are angled towards each other with a familiar comfort emanating from both of them.

“-didn’t mean it! God, Beca,” Chloe is exclaiming - loud enough for Aubrey to hear as she passes on the way to the kitchen.

She wonders if it was a mistake, introducing Beca back into Chloe’s life so soon after her break-up with Jesse. She stops walking and hovers near the doorway, trying to look as nonchalant as possible.

Aubrey watches the tension rise and fall in Chloe’s shoulders, the way she turns her body towards Beca. She can no longer hear their conversation, but she watches anyway because a part of her kind of wishes they’d figure it out and - oh , that’s what Amy meant.

Aubrey wonders if Chloe will finally leap at this very perfect opportunity to reveal her ever-growing feelings for Beca. It’s a constant back and forth between them. Aubrey had been mildly interested in this fixation back when they had first met Beca, but now she’s kind of tired and wishes they’d just get their crap together.

Aubrey doesn’t see them for the rest of the night, but she might have been fairly distracted by the competitive karaoke game going down between Flo and a few other students.

“I think you’re right,” Aubrey tells Amy the next day. She hands Amy a bottle of Advil and a water bottle. “About Beca and Chloe.”

“Of course I’m right,” Amy mumbles. “Hey, can you go grab me a burger from Shake Shack?”

Chloe (4:41 p.m.) I’m gonna be visiting my parents this weekend in Portland! Don’t wait up ;)

Aubrey (4:50 p.m.) Say hi for me! Also, we’re rescheduling movie night.

Chloe (4:51 p.m.) Totes!

It’s not uncommon for Chloe to visit her parents. She did fairly frequently while they were in school together. The quiet weekend means Aubrey can tackle that case study that had been evading her focus for the past few days and she can work on a few other assignments she wants to get out of the way.

She’s about a quarter through an assignment when she gets a text.

(Fat) Amy (5:29 p.m.) the big bm is away for the weekend. Want to hang?

Aubrey considers that heavily. She waits an hour before replying.

Aubrey (6:34 p.m.) Sure.

Aubrey (6:34 p.m.) Also, stop calling her that

Hanging out with Amy is kind of fun, Aubrey supposes, so long as she takes everything with a grain of salt. She lets Amy tell her about her part-time job as a mail courier and makes it a point to ignore her stories about her more peculiar clients and their oddities. She tuned out after the story about a man with long toenails and tries to ensure her dinner stays down.

Aubrey finally focuses when Amy says, seemingly out of the blue, “So, how are we getting Beca and Chloe to admit their feelings for each other?”

She considers denying it or feigning confusion.

It’s tempting because Aubrey has always enjoyed a good scheme, but she doesn’t want to interfere too much, knowing that Chloe will likely want her privacy on this front. “Aren’t they figuring stuff out themselves?” she asks.

Fat Amy scoffs. “Please. Your hair is going to be grey before they actually sort everything out. We need to give them that little push.”

It’s already sounding better than working on tedious assignments, but Aubrey’s still cautious. “We shouldn’t meddle,” she says half-heartedly. “We really shouldn’t.”

She receives a glare in response. “We definitely should,” Amy retorts.

Well, Aubrey doesn’t know how to disagree with that. “What’s the plan? We need a plan.”

Instagram: @becamitchell has posted for the first time in a while. Check out their post!

Aubrey frowns at this very specific notification. Why has Instagram deemed this as important material? That seems invasive - both to her and Beca. She opens it regardless and tilts her head, trying to suss out what exactly it is that Beca posted. It’s a photo of Coney Island with the sunset in the background.

She notices that Chloe has already liked the post. She shakes her head. Chloe’s addiction to social media will always evade her understanding.

(Fat) Amy (2:57 p.m.) SHE LIKED HER POST!!!!

Aubrey (2:57 p.m.) Calm down, she likes everybody’s posts.

That is true, as far as Aubrey is aware. Chloe likes everybody’s Instagram posts. It’s not really that which is most interesting to Aubrey. There is something more interesting about the fact that Beca had apparently been at Coney Island all day, especially since Aubrey distinctly recalls that Chloe mentioned she had been planning to go over the weekend.

Aubrey (3:01 p.m.) Do you know if Beca went with anybody to Coney Island?

(Fat) Amy (3:03 p.m.) No, she never tells me anything.

Aubrey (3:03 p.m.) understandable.

If Aubrey knew that scheming with Amy meant reactivating her Facebook account, she would have declined immediately.

“Do I just create a Facebook group or something?” Aubrey asks, frowning at her phone. “Why can’t we just text them and tell them we’re having a movie night at our place?”

“What era are you from?” Amy demands. “Just make a Facebook event. I know Beca needs her entire life scheduled or she’ll never show up to anything.”

Aubrey grumbles and sets up a Facebook event. “It’s literally just going to be the four of us,” she mutters. “This is so unnecessary.”

“Fine,” Amy exclaims. “Let’s invite the rest of the Bellas.”

“Amy, no!”

Her cry is to no avail as Amy immediately invites the Bellas and a few other people whose names Aubrey can’t quite recognize at first glance. Aubrey’s first thought is how their landlord is going to receive a few complaints over the weekend because of course Amy would somehow turn a small gathering into an impromptu party.

She sighs, mentally doing calculations in her head as to how much food she should buy as well as how many drinks she’ll need to get.

“This is going to be amazing, Aubrey. I’m so happy you agreed to this.”

She tacks on a couple extra drinks to her mental list because she’s sure she’ll need it.

Leading up to the movie night in question - an event that once only belonged to Aubrey and Chloe - Aubrey tries to figure out if Chloe and Beca are still talking to each other.

Chloe has been quieter and more reserved recently, though she cites stress from her job as the primary reason.

There’s a part of her that knows instinctively that Chloe likely had some kind of falling out with Beca, or maybe she’s mulling over her own feelings, but Aubrey just wishes Chloe would open up to her.

“Chloe?” she tries tentatively one evening while they’re scarfing down take-out from their favourite Chinese restaurant.

Chloe glances up at her from where she’s reading text messages on her phone. It’s a bit too far that Aubrey can’t quite see who she’s texting. “Yeah, what’s up, Bree?” Chloe asks, clicking her phone off casually.

“You’d...tell me if you were seeing somebody, right?”

There is a very brief pause, but a pause nonetheless.

Then, Chloe, as quiet as Aubrey has ever heard her, murmurs “yes,” softly. “I would.”

“That’s good to know.”

Aubrey lets it go for the moment. She has assignments to worry about and this damned Bellas party.

Chloe is ridiculously excited about the movie night extravaganza Aubrey and Amy planned. They somehow manage to wrangle 12 women into their tiny apartment, with enough seating (most of it improvised) for everybody.

They opt to watch horror movies, starting with It . Aubrey is not sure whose brilliant idea this is, but she feels like it could be either Lilly’s or Amy’s.

Aubrey grumbles as she retrieves another roll of paper towels from underneath the sink. Amy has somehow spilled her third drink of the night - none of which have been her own drinks.

Aubrey notes that Chloe isn’t being particularly helpful either because she’s immersed in a conversation with Beca on the loveseat - the most comfortable seat in their apartment currently. Chloe has her arm casually draped around the back of the couch to play with strands of Beca’s hair and Beca seems to either not notice or not care , but it’s then that Aubrey realizes that it’s neither . Beca is enjoying it if the smile on her face is any indication.

God, they’re dating, Aubrey thinks, resisting the urge to point at them and yell out her triumph.

Instead, she tilts her head, observing in silence.

They’re sharing a blanket too, which Chloe brought out from her room. Neither of them notices anything about the movie that’s playing and it’s dark enough that Aubrey only catches glimpses from time to time of their expressions.

It’s enough to see that Chloe has never quite looked so happy and Beca has never quite looked so relaxed.

The next time Aubrey glances at them, Beca has seemingly fallen asleep, completely pressed into Chloe’s side with her head tilted onto her shoulder. Chloe isn’t bothering to watch the movie at all even though her conversation partner has knocked out. Instead, she watches Beca, eyes trained on her the whole time.

Aubrey can’t help but smile even if it briefly hurts her that Chloe evidently didn’t bother telling her about this little development at all.

Mostly because it’s such a significant development in her best friend’s life.

(Aubrey is ridiculously happy for her. And Beca too.)

While sitting next to Chloe on their couch, Aubrey tries to focus on reading her textbook, but she finds her eyes drawn to Chloe’s phone because it continues to vibrate with a new message every two seconds.

Chancing a glance at her best friend, she sees the slow smile spread across Chloe’s face - a smile that is so smitten and grossly cute that it makes Aubrey shudder because she knows who Chloe is talking to without having to see the messages.

When Chloe gets up to retrieve their mail from downstairs, Aubrey bites her lip before pressing the button on Chloe’s phone. She sees a slew of messages from Beca. Except, it’s not just ‘Beca’. Chloe has changed her name on messenger to read as “grumpy becs” followed by three emojis: a blue heart, a raincloud, and a star.

The messages themselves are all the more incriminating, if the display name change weren’t enough.

Beca I miss you

Beca Just thought you should know or whatever

Beca When can I see you again?

That alone is enough to make Aubrey sit back firmly and contemplate. She vaguely wonders how long this has been going on - how long Chloe has been hiding this from her.

She wonders when Chloe will just tell her.

Her plan evolves.

Aubrey attempts to set Chloe up on a few dates, just to test the waters. She does so right in front of Beca. She’s really just testing the limits of Beca and Chloe’s strength because she still can’t quite believe that they’ve been hiding this from her for so long.

It was kind of cute at the beginning, now Aubrey is wondering how long it’ll take for either of them to crack. It’s like a fun game, sometimes.

Today, they’re enjoying brunch in Brooklyn. It had originally been Aubrey and Chloe’s pre-arranged brunch, but Chloe had tentatively asked Aubrey if Beca could come along because she was “feeling down from her job” and “we should totally show her this brunch place, Bree!”

Aubrey had agreed because she kind of just wanted to put Beca on the spot again. It’s a little fun to watch them both squirm.

“Chloe,” Aubrey states, primly folding her napkin. She waits until both Chloe and Beca have taken sips of their mimosas. “I would like to set you up on a date with one of my classmates.”

Chloe looks mildly curious, which is fine.

It’s Beca’s reaction that almost cracks Aubrey’s facade. She chokes on her drink and turns to Aubrey with wide eyes, like she can’t quite believe what she’s just heard.

“You would?” Chloe asks at the same time Beca asks, rather loudly, “Why?”

“I would,” Aubrey agrees, ignoring Beca. “I just think you’ve been single for so long. Not that you need somebody to make you happy. Just. Something to take your mind off things because I know how stressed you’ve been at work.”

“You’ve been stressed?” Beca asks, so softly that Aubrey momentarily forgets that she’s sitting across from Beca Mitchell. The amount of tenderness in Beca’s eyes directed straight at Chloe is kind of alarming if Aubrey didn’t already know they were in some kind of relationship.

“No, just,” Chloe sighs. She directs her attention fully to Beca. “A little. It’s just some personal things going on right now.”

Aubrey decides to let up on her line of questioning and drinks some water, watching them carefully. She decides not to bring it up again, feeling only more certain that they are dating , like officially.

When she gets up to go to the washroom, she can hear Chloe and Beca begin to whisper to each other, catching the tail end of their conversation: “-tell her?”

Aubrey smiles triumphantly.

“What made you bring that up today?” Chloe asks quietly, when they’re doing some weekend cleaning.

Aubrey frowns, focusing on a coffee stain plastered on their counter. She is sure she didn’t see this just a week ago and Chloe doesn’t drink coffee.

(Aubrey also knows that she always uses coasters and cleans up after herself.)

“What did I say?” Aubrey murmurs.

“About setting me up with somebody.”

Aubrey straightens, eyebrow rising slowly. “Chloe,” she starts.

“I’m happy right now,” Chloe says, not allowing her to finish. She fiddles nervously. “I can tell you that much. I appreciate the offer, but no.”

It warms Aubrey’s heart somewhat, when she notes the sincerity in Chloe’s tone. She can’t help the smile that rises on her lips and she nods encouragingly at Chloe to continue.

She wants to hear all about it - she wants to hear how happy Chloe is and how far they’ve come.

“Okay,” Aubrey says slowly. “You’re happy.”

Chloe bites her lip, looking like she’s about two seconds away from spilling everything. Aubrey restrains herself from excitedly wringing the cloth in her hands.

“I’m happy,” Chloe says after a moment, shrugging a little.

When she catches Aubrey staring at her, she smiles, a little apologetically and hurriedly returns to vacuuming.

Aubrey sighs.

She’ll accept that for now.

(She is so happy for Chloe.)

Amy sighs, stretching out completely on the couch and leaving a little place for Aubrey to perch herself at the end. “If only there were a way to see where they were at all times.”

Aubrey agrees absentmindedly, feeling like there’s something that she’s missing - maybe something that she has completely overlooked.

“Oh, hey, look. Beca’s in DUMBO.”

“That’s nice,” Aubrey replies. Something buzzes through her body. It feels like excitement. Maybe anxiety. Maybe indigestion from Amy’s food.

Vaguely she recalls that Chloe said she’d be away all weekend for an office retreat in -

She pauses.

In Brooklyn.

She latches onto it because she had given Chloe a little shit for it when she heard about it. She hadn’t understood why Chloe opted for separate lodging in Brooklyn when she had a perfectly good home in Manhattan, but now ...

Aubrey scrambles for her phone, nearly leaping clear over the couch and dislodging Amy in the process.

“Where are you going?” Amy calls, peeking over the couch. “Washroom?”

“No,” Aubrey says briskly. “Even better.” She swipes open her phone, navigating to Snapchat like Chloe once instructed her. Opening it, she sees missed notifications from a number of people, including Chloe.

It takes her about an entire minute to click through all of the missed photos and videos from Chloe when she finally gets to one from just half an hour ago. A vague photo from somewhere that looks like it could be Brooklyn, but it’s not quite discernable to Aubrey.

She furrows her brow before pinching her fingers on the screen, enabling the map function.

She’ll never get over how creepy this is, but she’s is suddenly immensely grateful for it.

She notices that Chloe’s Bitmoji is back in what Aubrey assumes to be her Airbnb.

“This is the most useful thing that Snapchat has ever done,” Amy mutters as they stare at the little circle enclosing both Beca and Chloe’s tiny figures in the same space.

“They’re together!” Aubrey yells. “They’re in the same place! That’s what that means, right?”

Amy is nodding vigorously. “Yeah! Should we go over there now?’ She’s already grabbing her shoes from the front door.

Aubrey’s arm flies out. “No, no. We should…” She can’t stop the grin that stretches across her face. “We should send them a Snapchat.”

“Uh, what? Why?”

“So we can be sure. Amy, you don’t understand. She was so close to telling me. Maybe this will be the exact guilt trip she needs to finally tell me!”

It had not been the guilt trip Chloe needed.

She sent back a few selfies. Beca ignored Aubrey’s Snaps mostly, but at least it updated their locations frequently enough that Aubrey could tell exactly where they were all weekend.

Aubrey diligently keeps track of all their movements with this newfound power.

On Saturday, they spent most of the morning inside, before Chloe seemingly met up with other friends or coworkers for a few hours while Beca wandered around DUMBO again.

Then, they went for dinner at a place Aubrey had been dying to try.

Then, a movie.

Aubrey is shocked at how much information she suddenly has at her disposal. She feels simultaneously torn between continuing to keep this information from Chloe or just revealing all her cards at once.

She discusses this properly with Amy while they’re at Pinkberry on Sunday evening. Aubrey is expecting Chloe to return home soon, but her action plan has yet to be completed.

“Do we tell them we know?” Fat Amy asks as she continues piling toppings in her cup. "Oh, this is like that episode of FRIENDS. Excellent.”

“We?” Aubrey questions.

“Yeah, we’re partners in crime. Practically sisters.”

Aubrey shrugs at that. “Well, I’m thinking of just asking Chloe if she’s hiding something for me.”

“How well did that work out for you last time?”

Aubrey scowls at her friend. “She’ll tell me. I have all the evidence I need.”

“Ah, so you’re going to ambush her. You're an amazing best friend.”

“I’m going to gently nudge her,” Aubrey says delicately. She turns on her phone, navigating to her notes. “I have proof that she and Beca have been going on secret dates for at least the past three months. Maybe more.”

“Well, how are you going to bring it up?”

“I’m going to casually bring up all the places she was today.”

“Casual,” Amy agrees.

Aubrey opens Snapchat, wondering where Chloe is at the moment. Her eyes widen and she splutters, dropping her spoon.

“What is it?” Amy demands excitedly.

“Chloe’s home,” Aubrey says stiltedly. “And Beca’s with her.”

She has barely thought about talking to Beca about all of this. She obviously has to go through her whole spiel as Chloe’s best friend.

Amy is already standing and holding out Aubrey’s purse for her. “Let’s go.”

Aubrey stands, chair scraping back loudly. “Let’s get them.”

By the time they end up reaching Aubrey’s apartment, she is primarily trying to slow her breathing and put on an air of unaffected nonchalance. She makes extended eye contact with Amy before sliding her key into the lock.

Beca and Chloe are sitting on the loveseat again, though they’re not sitting close together. They’re chatting casually, facing each other. Both turn towards the door when it opens all the way.

“Hi roomie,” Chloe greets.

“Hi Aubrey. Amy,” Beca says, waving a little.

“Chloe. Beca.”

They all stare at each other for a moment before Amy breaks the awkward silence by moving to sit on the other couch, stretching out.

A million things run through Aubrey’s mind as she stares at Chloe and Beca. There are so many ways to go about this - so many opportunities for embarrassment and amusement.

Also, so many ways that they could continue to lie to her.

Chloe coughs, standing up quickly. “I’m just going to run to the bathroom. One sec, guys.”

Three pairs of eyes swivel to watch her leave.

“Is there something you’d like to tell me?” Aubrey asks Beca once Chloe has disappeared to the washroom.

Beca stares back at her, a little insolently, a little nervously. “I don’t know. Is there something you’d like to tell me?” she fires back.

Aubrey is surprised at how easily Beca placed the ball back in her court. She practically handed it to her. Aubrey gracefully accepts.

Staring at Beca, Aubrey watches the way she seems to wither under her gaze. Aubrey’s not sure why it comes out exactly like this, but it does: “Not really,” she says slowly. “Except, maybe - Beca, please leave smaller hickeys on Chloe’s neck.”

Her voices rises a little at the end and her arms cross as she stares her down. Beca flushes deep red. Aubrey grins triumphantly when Beca squeaks "what?"

Beca seems to shrink into herself and she gapes, sinking into the couch a little. Amy unhelpfully laughs - or shrieks - and contributes nothing more to the conversation.

“You know, it was one thing when I thought you two were just trying out a friends with benefits thing, because God knows that you’ve both needed to get this fixation with each other out your system, but -” she holds up a finger when Beca opens her mouth. “-My roommate , Beca Mitchell? My best friend? How could you?”

Beca’s brow furrows. “I’m not exactly sure what you’re upset about, but I’m...I’m sorry-?”

“You two,” Aubrey says, sighing. She pulls out her phone, consulting the list of places they went all weekend. “All weekend, while Chloe was supposed to be away for work, and instead, you went to the movies, went to DUMBO, went for a nice stroll in the park,” she continues listing off places and Beca looks increasingly freaked out with each item.

Aubrey can hear Chloe rushing back down the hall. She heaves a breath when Chloe skids into view, eyes wide as she takes in how traumatized Beca looks, how delighted Fat Amy looks, and how pleased Aubrey looks.

“What’s going on?” she asks, her voice rising nervously in pitch.

Amy grins. “How long do you have, Chloe?”

Aubrey is about to settle down for bed after finishing off a bottle of wine with her friends. After all the drama, they had laughed it off - Beca more hesitantly than everybody else - and drank some wine, reminiscing on Barden and everything in between.

Chloe and Beca had cuddled immediately on the couch, limbs tangling, pleased smiles on their lips.

Now, Aubrey hears a quiet murmur of voices from the hallway.

“I tried to tell you,” Chloe whispers, hushed. “I knew she had an idea.”

“I really thought she didn’t,” Beca mutters back. “You didn’t tell me she’s fucking crazy. I felt like I was on episode of Maury or something. I've never been screamed at like that before.”

Aubrey scoffs. Beca is a baby. She had only raised her voice once. Hardly screaming.

Chloe laughs. “Hey, that’s my best friend you’re talking about, babe. I know her better than almost anybody else.”

“And I’m your girlfriend,” Beca says, in a voice that is so foreign to Aubrey. It is tender and affectionate.

Chloe giggles in response. “Well, I did try to warn you.”

“Chlo!”

Aubrey smiles.

Now that Beca and Chloe feel like they don’t need to hide anymore, Aubrey sees more of Beca than she ever did before, especially with how often she stays overnight. Especially on weekends.

Aubrey hears more of Beca’s music everyday. She also hears Chloe happily humming to herself whenever she’s making dinner.

Aubrey huffs, bumping into Beca on the way to the bathroom.

“Sorry,” Beca says, a little too cheerfully for Aubrey’s taste.

“I didn’t realize you were here,” Aubrey mumbles, blinking to make sure she’s not imagining Beca Mitchell in one of Chloe’s old oversized shirts in the middle of her hallway.

“Here I am,” Beca parries back.

“Bec!” Chloe’s voice calls from down the hall.

“Coming!”

Aubrey makes sure to take her time in the bathroom, hoping against hope that Beca and Chloe are going to sleep in.

She is very wrong.

Aubrey stares wide-eyed up at the ceiling, regretting her decision to forego the earplugs while she was in line at the check-out today.

This is her third traumatizing weekend in a row.

It is only 7:30 a.m. on a Saturday morning.

That’s early, even for Aubrey.

She doesn’t even want to think about whose idea this is.

Aubrey has had enough.

She barely resists the urge to just smack her hand against Chloe’s door to tell them to keep it down.

Aubrey (7:29 p.m.) Chloe Beale. Get out here. I have to tell you something.

She sends it off and doesn’t bother waiting for a reply considering she had just been freshly traumatized.

Aubrey privately wonders how Beca finds energy considering how much time she used to spend trying to make Bellas’ rehearsals difficult for everybody. Aubrey assumes Beca spends more time figuring out ways to annoy her than humanly possibly.

“Hey,” Chloe says, startling Aubrey out of her hypnotic trance by the stove. She turns to lower the heat on the stove before facing her friend. “Whatcha making?” Chloe asks, grabbing two - Aubrey’s eyes zero in on the action - water bottles from the fridge.

“Chloe, I have something to tell you,” Aubrey says briskly. She wants to get it over with. Chloe nods, uncapping one water bottle and taking a swig. Aubrey tries not to think about it too hard. “Chloe, you...I -” Aubrey tries to think about what Fat Amy would say, or even do. Chloe continues to stare at her, growing more concerned by the second. “I...no longer wish to have surround sound to your…” Aubrey puts her hand on her chin, tapping contemplatively. “Your...activities,” she finishes delicately. She mentally congratulates herself on her word choice.

It’s interesting, actually. Aubrey kind of wishes she had a secret camera set up somewhere because the next progression of events is simultaneously mortifying and hilarious. Chloe tilts her head in confusion, taking in Aubrey’s words. Aubrey only narrows her eyes further, willing her roommate to just...get the point, so neither of them have to be subjected to this awkward silence any longer.

“Oh,” Chloe says, finally. Quietly. Her cheeks grow red. It’s only temporary while Aubrey thinks that she can maintain the upper hand. Unfortunately, Chloe’s lack of boundaries means that she often bounces back from embarrassing moments with lightning quick reflexes. “I mean,” Chloe says, maintaining a hesitant tone. “It wasn’t me, right? I tried to tell Beca you’d be able to-”

Aubrey drops her spatula in the sink in horror. “No!” She wants to die. “I don’t want to - Jesus Christ, Chloe. Just, I’m letting you know that I can hear you, okay?!” Then, quieter, after a brief pause, “it was definitely you this morning,” she mutters.

Chloe blushes again, though she seems less embarrassed. “Oh, right.”

About an hour later, Aubrey finally settles back in bed with her laptop, determined to watch a movie and just relax for the rest of the night. She quickly stuffs her headphones into her ears, wary of the fact that both Chloe and Beca are still in the apartment.

Her phone buzzes just as she’s about to recline further into her pillows.

Chloe (8:47 p.m.) Oh, haha, I just saw your message.

Chloe (8:47 p.m.) gotchaaaa

Aubrey (8:48 p.m.) I hate you. And I hate Beca, too.

#bechloe #aubrey posen #beca mitchell #chloe beale #mine #my fanfic #social media #text #fanfiction #pitch perfect

240 notes · View notes

ladytrollfishes · 5 years

Text

Inktober- Silence

hush i know its january. I just abandoned this for three months no big.

Cresce Aubade | Arkady | 7 sweeps 15 years | 1580 words

It's not that you don't like the cold. You've always loved Arkady for it. Summers were over quick, and sky was almost always held the promise of snow. There was nothing quite like standing still and letting the cold stillness after a snow storm sink seep slowly through your skin. It's not something you do often- your friends just don't get why you'd want to be cold but there was just something thrilling about it that you'd never put your finger on.

The mediculler's office is cold. You don't shiver when a breeze passes through, not when it passes by on the bare skin of your feet, not when it trifles with the hem of your surgery gown, and not when it stirs up the back of your neck. It's sterile, painted a plain white with a green border running at the top of the room. White is an excellent color to keep something you need to bleach often anyway. Mediculler Ricket presses a cold wipe into your hand, and gestures for you to use it on your face.

"Take it all off, dearie," she murmurs. "It's an infection risk there, when you're getting implants so close to your face." You've seen Mediculler Ricket before. She's a dumpy cerulean, with capable, soft hands, and enough nullification to shove out a lot of the mind dipping that comes with working in Torrent. It's not enough for you. You hear her clear as a bell- well. If a bell sounded like a disinterested tuba player who didn't care enough about the song to stay on pitch. She sounds like she'd be more interested in a bowl of oatmeal.

You smile a thin razor smile back at her as you take the wipe and start swiping off your make up. You had made extra sure to put on extra lipstick today and it was all coming off in black smears on the little wipe.

“Besides the nullification module and the download jack,” Professor Timbor says. “you’ll also be receiving wetware that allows you to adjust the volume of, and record what you’re hearing.” Professor Timbor, your personal mentor who took a keen interest in your progress and your ability to parse emotions into meaning. You took pride in the interested clatter of bells every time you showed them your work. You like it less to hear it now. "This operation should allow you some more control over what you hear and what you don't- I know that bothers you sometimes.”

Sure, you knew this day was coming. Sure, all the adult Torrents had something or other. You’d all laughed the first time Kokoro had choked on his tongue after trying to voodoo Professor Symphy to get you all out of the day’s homework. But it was definitely different looking it in the face. It was a rite of passage. You did it, and it was over. You had even looked forward to what you'd be getting. Hearing everyone could get so tiring!

“It does,” you say, gesturing to your head and bite your tongue on how you'd take it over being there right then. You take a breath and to your irritation, it comes out shaky. You smile brightly.

“It’s perfectly normal to have nerves about an operation like this,” Mediculler Ricket says, smiling. You wonder what's going on in her head. Her tune hasn't changed at all. “But don’t worry. You won’t feel a single thing. We’ll put you and when you wake up again, all you have to worry about is recovering.”

“And you’re indigo,” Timbor says. “You’ll have a much better time with the surgery than the Scimitar recruits. Heavens. Can you imagine?”

They chuckle, with just an edge of actual mirth, that makes you want to stab them just a little. You smile along.

“Are you ready for this?”

You pull the last smear of make up off your face and look up at them, barefaced.

"Yes," you say and you nod.

You're not. When you give Ricket the wipe back, you’re sure to leave a smear of lipstick on her hand. It's petty, but you don't care. It's not like she does. She wipes her hand and moves on like she doesn't even notice.

"Lie back now," she says and places a mask over your face. "Just count backwards."

You wonder what you sound like, as you comply.

"Ten."

You're the only person you've never been able to hear.

"Nine."

That tight knot in your belly, that was an emotion, wasn't it?

"Eight."

What would that be?

"Sev...en..."

-----

You wake up face down in slime with an enormous headache. It's not your own recuperacoon- there's a ridge in it that keeps the back half of your head from being submerged.

"Eugh," you say, grimacing as you push yourself up from the reclining position.

It's a different room than the one you first went under in, if only because you're in a recuperacoon instead of lying on the platform you had been wheeled in on. Same white and green, same cabinets.

You're still in the surgery gown. The slime sticks to your hands but you scrape it off on the lip of the recuperacoon until it's mostly clean. You place your fingers, starting at your temple and let them wander backwards. Your bangs are soaked in slime, but most of your hair is still pulled into a ponytail. Behind your ear though, your fingers slip from the fine texture of hair to smooth skin. They shaved your head, just under it, like a bad undercut. A pad of gauze is taped behind both your ears. That's not _too_ bad. You'd have to wear your hair down for awhile, maybe wear it short for a bit when it grows out some more to keep things even, but worst things have happened.

Pashei had to wear a veil for a perigee, after the implants in his cheeks had swollen up and Frenom had shaved her head entirely bald because she had come out with two stripes shaved around her horns

"Don't touch it too much," a voice says behind you and you jump. You turn your head sharply and immediately regret it, your hands flying to the back of your head.

Professor Timbor chuckles softly as they get up from a seat from the other corner of the room. Had they just been watching this whole time? You glance up at them, shocked. No one ever surprises you. You always hear them coming.

"Sorry," they say. "I've never surprised you before."

Everything is.... silent. Professor Timbor smiles down at you, but there's no bells, there's no horns, no strings, or brass, or drums. Are you just supposed to trust what their face and mouth are saying? Is this what people do on the regular???

"I- I... I can't hear anything?" you stammer out. You never stutter! You clutch your ears. "What's going on?"

"Calm down," Timbor says, their voice warm and syrupy as they crouch down to eye level with your recuperacoon. There's nothing else to judge them on.

"I am calm," you snap, scrambling up on the ridge you had been leaning up against. "Don't patronize me." There's nothing to _hear_ even though you should be hearing more. It's much much more disorienting than you expected. To have someone in front of you, you just couldn't hear? It was like an alien, or a ghost or something. This was wrong, bone deep and radiating from the inside out.

"Then listen," they insist. "We just turned down the volume all the way. You have the capacity to turn it back up. You have the wetware for it now."

You stop moving, your arms trembling. You blink, twice. Your eyes are watering, you notice. "Then what do I do?" you ask quietly.

"Just think about the back of your head," they say. "Focus it and think about a volume slider. And then slide it up."

It's hard to focus on anything. You don't want to close your eyes with Timbor so close, but... you really want to turn your powers back on.

You close your eyes and let your thoughts trail to the back of your head and picture a volume slide, burnished steel with black paint, the one you have on your stereo at hive. With an invisible hand you push it up to max.

Suddenly you hear exactly where Timbor is, and what they're feeling. Bells. Bells ringing high with curiosity, plucked staccato strings of amusement, warm, mellow drum that quickly fades away. You sit up straighter and open your eyes.

"It worked," you say, suddenly much calmer. Professor Timbor chuckles.

"Better, right?" They say. "You're to stay for a few more nights for observation but otherwise you're fine. You're free to wander around the medical wing so long as you let the medicullers know but if I were you, I'd rest up some more. We'll go over the other functions of your wetware later."

You don't want to nod so you say okay and sink back into the sopor.

#Cresce drabbles #inktober #writing

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inkribbon796 · 3 years

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The Ace of Spades

Summary: With the Dark Sides contained, Spade’s attention turns to the four Core Sides.

WARNING: this chapter has a tag for non-con kissing. It doesn’t get graphic or lead to anything worse and I love Spade but he can be a lot not good. The contents of the warning include: Spade kissing Roman when he believed Spade to be Logan; and does not go any further. If that is triggering just know that the chapter ends with Spade containing all four of the Core Sides like he did with Janus, Remus, and Orange. Just thought I’d leave this warning because it is worth being warned about.

A/N: Requested by ANON

<= Back to the Deck

Date Archived: May 6, X

Uploading information

Starting sequence

Logan had been seeing his therapist for a couple of months now, just talking about his nightmares and getting treated for his insomnia. The medication was doing wonders for him, he could sleep, and function, and think. He could plan some minor exposure therapy, carefully watched and supervised. It didn’t touch his skin, but Marvin and Ethan could practice knife throwing with Logan safely nearby without Logan feeling the need to run and hide in another room.

The logical Side finally felt like he was making progress.

Patton picked him up from the appointment and left him at the house at around eight, after making sure he was okay, going over to help Joan with something for a party they were going to before he picked them up again. Logan went back to the main bedroom as Virgil and Roman were watching something. Logan gave them a quick hello before heading upstairs. Once inside his eyes raked over the closet, checking that a piece of paper was still wedged in one of the hinges.

So he smiled and sat down at his desk.

Logan sighed, leaning back in his chair, “Your therapist is very nice, I’d forgotten about her. I do hope you haven’t been too impossible with her, she is doing her best.”

Silence.

“Logan’s” eyes were literally glowing in the low light of the room as he looked toward the closet. “Right, I shouldn’t keep speaking, we do have work to do.”

Turning in his swirling chair, Logan was facing his computer and the grey solid state drive hooked up to the computer. The drive was as long as his forearm and Logan was having some frustrating issues with formatting the tech and had to rework a couple of the programs on the computer. But it was a problem he had encountered before and knew exactly how to work around it. It took an hour to finally start downloading the right programs onto it and by then Roman and Virgil had gotten home from a patrol.

Right on time.

Perfectly on time.

Roman was inside their home first and saw Logan’s shoes in the front door’s shoe cubby. The indicator that Logan was in fact home, a constant and trusted sign.

“Look who’s home early,” Roman smiled, hands on his hips as Virgil pushed past him.

“Huh, thought he was going with Pat,” Virgil commented out loud. “Must have come over so he could pick us up.”

The creative Side squealed in excitement, fake swooning onto Virgil, “How romantic. How apropos. I shall fetch our love at once.”

“Gag me with a spoon, Princey,” Virgil smiled and rolled his eyes. He lightly pushed Roman away. “I’ll get the chili. You get the nerd.”

Roman raced up the stairs, as Virgil went into the kitchen. Hearts in his eyes, and his mind blinded to any inconsistencies like a slight chip in the plaster where metal had scratched the wall hours ago.

Without knocking, Roman barged into the bedroom and saw Logan slaving away on his computer.

“Oh, Logannnn~ my love,” Roman greeted in a sing-song voice so that Logan heard him coming and wasn’t startled by him. He walked over and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of his head. “You lose yourself so easily my dear. Why are you sitting in the dark?”

With a snap of his fingers, Roman’s magic turned on the desk light.

“Hey poindexter,” Roman smiled as the person at the desk craned his head up just enough to look up at Roman in the most human way possible. He saw a mess of equipment and objects shadowed in low light, the sun had started to set as “Logan” had been working.

“Salutations, Roman,” Logan greeted. “How was patrol?”

“Ughh, boring,” Roman rolled his eyes, Logan staring at his lips as he spoke, turning in his chair. “Jackie and Crank beat us to anything good. So glad we’re going to Joan’s, I’ve been so bored all day. You know Virgil was so—”

Logan’s lips met his, and Roman could practically taste the hunger on them.

It surprised Roman. Usually a Logan seated at his desk meant that the Side was so hyper fixated on work that nothing: not hunger, not tiredness, nor the other Sides could uproot him from his chair.

They pulled apart as Logan’s hand carded through Roman’s soft locks.

Roman chuckled, “Not that I’m not extremely appreciative, but don’t you normally wait until after a project to let me distract you?”

“I’m at a good stopping point, I’ve missed you so much,” Logan confessed, nuzzling along Roman’s neck.

“Miss you too when I’m gone,” Roman chuckled, hugging Logan to him.

Logan let out this weird glitchy chuckle, and in the low light of the room, Roman watched Logan’s eyes and glasses glitch as a cold chill rolled over the romantic Side. In that same moment a pair of metal cuffs made out of chittering nanites anchored Roman where the creative Side stood. “Oh Roman, as dense as always, how I love you.”

That’s when Roman finally saw the communicator on the imposter’s wrist that had a black spade insignia on it.

“You’re not Logan, uncuff me this instant you charlatan,” Roman demanded, trying to jerk himself free or imagine a weakness in the bonds, but they wouldn’t give. He was only able to kick out his feet.

Spade stood up and moved in for another kiss but Roman head butted him, and felt searing pain pierce through his head.

“Such a fighter,” Spade cooed. “You look every bit as beautiful as always and then more so.”

“Let go of me!” Roman shouted in anger as he tried to twist his way free. The Side felt the beginnings of fear bubbling up in his throat.

The imposter let out another odd, glitchy chuckle. “Don’t worry, I’ll stop.”

He reached over to the desk, and pulled out three locket charms from his pocket and set two of them: a storm cloud with a thunderbolt coming down from it, and a golden heart locket with glasses etched into it. The locket charm had a fine golden chain attached to it.

The charm still in the imposter’s hand was a red and golden shield, it had the same design as Roman’s crest that he wore on the arms of his superhero uniform.

“I can’t promise this will be painless,” Spade told Roman as he stood up, kicking the chair to the side so that he had more room. “But don’t worry, my sweet prince, it’ll be quick and it will feel like going to sleep. When you wake up it will be like nothing happened.”

He moved forward, but the creative Side fought against him, kicking up a foot. “Don’t touch me, you fiend, quit using his form. You’re a brute and a monster.”

Then Roman’s foot physically went through his attacker’s stomach, as if he wasn’t even there. And something in Roman froze over in fear.

“True,” Spade admitted, sticking the charm to Roman’s neck with the nanites. The metal charm touching the soft flesh of his neck directly. “I am not worthy of something so lovely, but I’d rather have you alive and hating me, than dead and loving me.”

Just then a knock came at the door and Spade’s hands flew over Roman’s mouth, signaling for him to stay quiet with a finger gently pressed to the imposter’s lips.

“Hey Princey, Logan, everything okay?” Virgil called out.

Roman tried fighting in earnest, trying to wrench his head free. Spade slipped and Roman immediately belted out the loudest scream his lungs could muster, “VIRGIL!”

The door was already starting to open but it flew open even faster and Roman saw the fear, and then confusion, on his face when Virgil saw who Roman’s attacker looked like.

In that moment of hesitation, Spade’s nanites surged out and cascaded towards Virgil. The anxious Side tried to dodge out of the way and used his fear abilities against the Suit but the nanites glued Virgil to the wall.

“No! No! No!” Roman panicked as Spade calmly walked over to the anxious Side. “Unhand him, let him go!”

“Don’t worry,” Spade promised in the most threatening tone either one of the Sides had heard in a while. “I’ll let both of you go very soon.”

Virgil tried to twist out of his bonds, his eyeshadow darkening with his fear and he kept trying to attack the Suit with his fear powers. “Forgive me for being so rough, my lovely nightshade but I cannot afford to take chances.”

“Let me go, let me go,” Virgil was letting out a sound that sounded like spidery chittering and feline hissing as Virgil realized his powers were hitting the Suit like feathers against a brick wall. And the scariest thing was that he was still wearing Logan’s face.

“Are you trying to scare me?” Spade chuckled, his tone glitching. “My dear belladonna, there is nothing you could do to me, nothing you could show me, that could compare to the horrors I’ve seen.”

Roman’s struggling intensified as he saw a cloud of nanites snag the thundercloud charm off the table and bring it to one of Spade’s outstretched hands.

Virgil saw the pendant and began twisting. His dark purple aura scratching at the nanite goop and tried to slash at Spade’s face but that only scared Virgil more because he got the Suit in the face only to expose metal wires and plates before the nanites almost sewed it back up as if they were regrowing flesh.

The anxious Side was so overcome with fear that he froze up and shivered. Which let Spade stick the charm to his neck with nanites like he had done with Roman.

Then Side’s eyes glowed blue and he tapped the charm on Virgil’s neck. Virgil flinched and his eyes forcibly glowed purple before he let out a bloodcurdling scream and a flash of light.

And then Virgil was gone, the storm cloud pendant letting out and angry purple glow that looked like an angry storm was festering inside of it. It began dying down before the entire storm cloud had a brilliant purple shade and the thunderbolt a bright yellow.

Roman screamed in rage as Spade plucked the charm out of the goop and walked back over to the desk. All the nanites that had been used to capture Virgil merging back into Spade’s body. “Give him back! What did you do to him?”

“He’s alive and well, merely sleeping,” Spade with an absolute gentleness clipped the locket onto the front of the solid state drive, a little hanger notched into the metal specifically designed for it. “And soon you will be too.”

“Don’t touch me! Get away from me! Give him back!” Roman tried to wrench himself free but nanites came up to cup the back of his head to keep his neck still.

“Good night my sweet prince,” Spade said, his eyes glowing blue as he tapped the locket.

Roman felt something in his soul twist, something similar to fusion but used for a different purpose, his eyes glowed red.

And then the pain started. It was blinding, white hot pain. All of Roman’s nerves felt like they were being set on fire. Then it was gone and Roman too was gone from the room, his soul folded up neatly into the shield pendant.

Logan kissed the pendant reverently as it glowed an angry red before settling into a much calmer constant red color. “I won’t let anything happen to you, Princey. When you wake up it’ll all be over.”

As Spade was clipping the shield locket with Virgil’s thundercloud there was an angry kick from the inside of the closet.

Spade took his time and as he walked towards the door, he pounded on the closet door once in response. The Suit took extreme care not to dent or break the fragile wood in case anyone checked the house when his work was done.

Logan’s phone came out of the nanites that made up Spade’s physical body. He began typing on it, turning just enough lights to make the upstairs still look lived in. Then he turned on the living room light and sat next to the window just behind the kitchen table and started reading through engineering and science journals.

He was there for twenty minutes before Patton entered the house, humming to himself, thinking about how quiet it was. He walked into the kitchen to grab the bowl of chili they were supposed to bring to the party, and flicked on the light. Which is exactly when he saw who he thought was Logan was sitting at the table.

The emotional Side jumped, grabbing at his chest, “Jeezy creezy, Logan, you scared me.”

“Pardon, I was just thinking,” Logan excused, just staring at Patton. “I didn’t realize how late it had gotten.”

“Well there’s no point in sitting in the dark anymore,” Patton smiled.

Spade smiled, “I suppose not.”

“Well why don’t you enlighten me on where Ro and Virge are, that party won’t attend itself,” Patton laughed at his own joke, and to his surprise “Logan” huffed out a little laugh. It was quick but Patton still heard it.

“I got you,” Patton gasped in excitement. He turned to yell outside the kitchen towards the stairs. “Hey guys!”

When Patton turned his back and set his hand on the wall Spade shot a wad of nanites over and stuck Patton’s arm to the wall.

Silence echoed painfully through the apartment as Patton looked back at Spade who set Logan’s phone on the table.

“You’re not Logan,” Patton realized, trying to pull his hand free. “Who are you?”

“You’re always so quick to spot me,” Spade smiled. “I don’t know whether to be amused by your awareness or angry at my own failings.”

“Where are the others?” Patton asked as the nanites wrapped around him to pin him in place. He was watching Spade pull a golden locket out of his arm and his nanites gently slid it around Patton’s neck. The emotional Side flinching before Spade pulled back.

When he tentatively opened his eyes he watched Spade take his phone and his nanite body took it inside of the imposter.

“Sleep and all will be right again when you wake, I promise you,” Spade told him with such determination in his eyes that it was terrifying to Patton.

Spade repeated what he had done to Virgil and Roman on Patton and the kitchen was silent once more.

Looking down at the locket in his hand, Spade let out a relieved sigh. He had them, he was almost ready.

Going through the house, Spade began carefully putting things away and making sure all of the plugs had been pulled out of the wall and the lights were turned off. Making sure to grab Logan’s phone checking that Virgil and Roman’s phones weren’t laying around somewhere. He was halfway up the stairs when Patton’s phone dinged.

The Suit stopped, one foot up the next stair as he pulled the phone out of his arm and looked at it.

“You guys need anything before you get over here?” Joan had texted Patton.

Spade paused to think, and sent Joan a quick text, “Logan isn’t feeling well, we’re going to stay at the house.”

Almost immediately three dots appeared, Joan was texting back. But after a second they disappeared for about a minute. Then: “K be safe.”

“Will do.” Spade texted back, and then pocketed the phone.

It didn’t ring or vibrate, but Logan’s did.

The message was from Joan: “Is Patton with you?”

“Yes,” Spade answered.

There was another pause.

“Good, he told me he was running late,” Joan told him. “Have a nice night.”

Spade sent an additional perfunctory farewell and continued up the stairs where he continued to turn off everything in the house, ending with the main bedroom, where the computer equipment still was on the desk and the solid state drive with the two charms hooked onto it. The Suit admired his handiwork for a second or two, making sure there was no leaking aura or glowing that signified the Sides were awake.

When he was sure all was as he wanted, Spade carefully hooked Patton’s locket with the charms and picked up the solid state drive, black handles springing up on either side of the drive for Spade to grab.

He cleaned up the desk so none of Spade’s personal tech was left for anyone like Bing or Joan to find and use against him. The tech and nanites reabsorbed except for the drive and charms attached.

With a smug, vindictive smile, Spade walked over to the closet and opened it to look down at the real Logan who was tied up and gagged on the closet floor. The logical Side looked up at his doppelgänger and screamed angrily at him.

Spade looked down sternly at him and held up the solid state drive and the three charms attached to it. “Alright, let’s try this again.”

End of Sequence

Conclusion: Time to regroup with Hearts and prepare for the mission proper.

#superhero au #masks and maladies #house of cards shorts #tw: noncon kissing #the Spade #♠️#Roman Sanders #Virgil Sanders #Patton Sanders #Logan Sanders #LAMP #Spade is the bad guy

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hanarii · 4 years

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How to Find the Right Gardening Ideas For Your Garden

If you're trying to take advantage of your backyard, then you may already know what you are going to do, and how you are going to do it. However, if you will need a little bit of inspiration, then here are a few ideas of where you can look.

1. General interest in addition to dedicated gardening publications can give you a lot of ideas. Perhaps there is a fashion shoot outdoors, or an interview with a celeb in their backyard, or perhaps there is a gardening magazine that appeals to you since they are transforming a garden like yours. You'll get a great deal of great ideas from magazines.

2. TV programmed and gardening TV programmed specifically will provide you a great deal of inspiration and make it possible for you to find flowers and plants, in addition to gardening methods in more detail. Maybe you're favorite show has a home with a backyard, or perhaps you'll see somebody else's garden on the news, or maybe you religiously watch a gardening programmer and will design your garden based on what you have learned.

3. Gardening books can prove to be helpful also. Maybe you'll purchase some of your favorite gardener's books and see what you can learn.

4. When you are about, whether walking or driving, on the bus or on your way home from work, you are bound to see other people's gardens. Some of them will have ideas and themes that you may want to use.

5. DIY stores will frequently have a significant gardening department, and you may ask for thoughts, or see what crops they have there, to be able to find out if they would work well in your backyard with everything you had in mind.

6. Garden centers are a mine of information, and if you're searching for a new pair of secateurs or wish to know what plant food to use, you will have the ability to learn what you will need to know. However, these kinds of places are far expensive, so you may want to look around, particularly if you're redesigning your entire backyard, and likely to be buying lots.

7. Friends and family could be gardeners, and be able to offer you some help and ideas if you ask. It is not necessarily easy to get together with your relatives or friends however, and trying to describe what you want your garden to look like through text message can be very tricky.

8. Gardening sites, such as gardening magazines and books are going to have the ability to give you tons of inspiration and ideas, and it's easy to get carried away. You won't need to start something you can not complete, or that will not work on your garden.

9. The kind of sites you see on a daily basis may give your more ideas than you believed likely. Perhaps you're using magazine websites, news websites, or sports websites, or social networking websites, or playing games on your own computer. Why don't you see what ideas you can produce whilst online?

10. Whatever thoughts you choose, it is vital that you don't get carried away. You will probably have some type of budget, and although good quality crops and tools are worthwhile, you will want to be cautious, and be certain you get excellent value for money.

Now you know where to look, you will find inspiration and garden ideas everywhere you look.

Check out HANARII for more ideas on home and garden design and tips.

DIY Garden Shed - A Helpful Outdoor Storage Area

My lifetime dream was going to come true. I immediately purchased some books about flowers and plants which could flourish in our area and set about planning my garden. As it was the middle of summer when we moved, I had some time since I wouldn't be planting until the following spring. So I began buying a few of the tools I'd need for my new garden.

That's when I realized I would need some extra storage to help me arrange my resources and gardening paraphernalia. I had a neighbor who had a little shed in her backyard, so I got the brilliant idea that I would take on this new diy garden shed job. I'd assemble the new storage building in the rear yard, nestled between the two dogwood trees. It would be a wonderful place to keep all of my gardening and yard tools.

The next thing I had was a pair of garden shed patterns with sufficient professional detail so I wouldn't build something which would blow away with the upcoming slight breeze. I was able to find such a set of programs online. There was immediate delivery through download, and pretty soon I was off into the house construction box shop.

The really neat thing about my new garden shed plans was that there was a comprehensive list of sizes and materials, so I simply dropped off the list and their team gathered up the materials and delivered them to my driveway (for a small fee, of course).

I wish I could say that everything went exactly like at the films, but it didn't. The project took a couple of days longer than I'd expected. However, in the long run, I had my backyard shed, and it seems really great. I have loads of space for my new riding lawn mower along with the garden tools, pots, bags of fertilizer and soil.

I'm now pursuing my dream hobbies. I plant and care for my backyard, then I get my camera out and photograph to my heart's content. What I will do with all those digital images, I don't have any idea, but I am having fun.

Personalizing Garden Shed Designs

Why should you receive a shed? The shed has many applications on a range of different levels. These include being a store for surplus items and tools which may otherwise mess a garage or store cupboard in the house to a wonderful area to work on DIY projects. Fortunately, there are lots of garden shed designs are available that are both reasonably priced and just to construct.

In case you've decided that a backyard shed is for you then you'll likely have several questions. Firstly, are you going to buy a pre-fabricated shed or construct your own from among the widely accessible shed plans? The first approach provides a quick answer to your storage requirements yet is much more expensive than if you were to go down the DIY route and build it yourself. But one of the downsides for this route is that you're completely restricted to the present choices on design and performance. The way around this would be to DIY and you build your own so which you may have complete autonomy over these things.

What you'll be storing in the drop? What activity or functionality you would also like to use the shed for. To this end, picking a garden shed design which enables an appropriate and acceptable quantity of storage space given its intended purpose is crucial. Planning is important to getting these facets correct. You should attempt to anticipate any problems and stumbling blocks before purchasing any materials. Any design and drop project plan should be thorough enough to enable smooth progress to end. You must, by way of instance, draw up a detailed collection of any instruments, equipment and materials which will be necessary for the project.

There are lots of popular garden shed designs now that have a broad entry point. This is critical since it allows large and bulky equipment such as lawnmowers and garden furniture to be moved in and out of the drop with comparative ease. Windows can be built into the design to allow for greater light. Great sized windows eliminate the requirement for electric lights. Additionally it is advisable to fit a garden shed with shelving for storing garden and lawn tools and accessories.

The design of a garden shed design can be personalized easily. There are a number of ways to achieve this which are both spectacular and relatively cheap. As an example, a dab of color can easily personalize the appearance of your shed and give it its own special character. A garden shed can be as unique as the man who assembles the shed but the important word to guarantee success is planning.

#Home And Garden ideas #Home And Garden tips #Home And Garden advice #Home And Garden guide

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agilenano · 4 years

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Agilenano - News: The Design That We’ll Never Get to See in Person – AT’s Small/Cool Event + 5 Renter Hacks for a Small Space

Remember back at the beginning of March (what now feels like a year ago) when we showed you a Sneak Peek Into Our Current Design Projects? Well, today is the day to show you the “final results” of one of them. No, this isn’t our typical room reveal. A lot has shifted between then and now. And other things take priority as they should. But our ultimate goal here at EHD is to try to bring a little joy to your day and since it’s Monday morning fingers crossed this does the trick. This “room reveal” is one where neither you nor I will ever see a real photograph of but that’s okay since I stayed up late trying to recreate the space as realistically as possible for us all to enjoy by using my trusted confidante, SketchUp.

I bet by now you are asking yourselves, “Which project are you talking about?” If you didn’t already guess from the snippet above it’s our Eclectic English space for Apartment Therapy’s Small/Cool Event which officially went live (virtually, that is) last Friday. The event showcases 20 current home trends by 20 designers for the year 2020. Very clever AT team.

The trends range from Art Deco Influence by Gabriela Gargano to Maximalist Boho by Jessica Bringham and everything in between. Ok so let’s start with the design inspiration for our room!

The Trend: Eclectic English

photo source | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

I was very excited to take lead on this bedroom design project after all I know a thing or two about designing a small bedroom after my own MOTO. When the AT team asked us which trend we would want to showcase it was a no brainer. Emily had just written about her current love affair with this New (Old) Trend that was going to help her get her color/quirk back into her life and I was so on board to oversee the design. This trend is the metaphorical fresh-design-air that we have all been waiting for and like I’ve stated before I am ready to trade in the neutral world for a multi-colored one.

The Space

This all sounded great in theory until I saw the photographs for the original space where the event was to be held in Brooklyn, NYC. Talk about a design challenge. This warehouse didn’t invoke that eclectic old world at all that we wanted the expected 12k+ visitors to feel as they walked into our space. I started to think, “Why didn’t we choose postmodernism? That’s also cool right now.”

But this type of challenge is what drew me to interior design in the first place, working within a set parameters of a building to find those creative solutions that will ultimately transform a space into something new. Challenge accepted.

Emily also wanted me to point out the fact that we were designing this space from 3,000 miles away which is a challenge in itself but since starting at EHD almost 3 years ago this is nothing new to me. The two main projects that I have worked on – the Portland Project (961 miles) & the Mountain House (84 miles) – weren’t exactly distances that screamed let’s just go “swing by” for a site check-in today. Working solely based off of a few measurements and online shopping was okay by me especially for just one small room. The real challenge was creating a space that looked curated over a long period of time in the span of a few weeks from a handful of online vendors.

Yeah, you could say I was slightly stressed.

The AT team was so great and sent through this very thorough SketchUp drawing of our space including all the dimensions I could need plus the very elusive NYC fisherman. His name is Gary and he was super helpful to clue me in on the exact scale of the space we were working with. Thanks, Gary. Bye, Gary.

Now that I had a better idea of the exact measurements for the space, Emily and I did our initial brainstorm of how to add that “cozy factor” we knew it desperately needed. Let’s just say our hopes were as high as the NYC skyline: “Maybe they can add a ceiling so people don’t see the exposed ceiling”, “Could we add wood floors?”, “Some added millwork would help transform the space”, or “An overhead diffused light to make the space feel cozier”… there was some wishful thinking but one worked out in our favor. One thing I have learned in the past couple of years is that you’ll never know what your options are until you ask. And ask I did, thank you again to the AT team for answering my endless emails. I love an email. Especially those who respond quickly and they did, thank you.

You’d think that creating a space from a blank slate would be a designer’s dream. But when combining that with the fact that it also has no fourth wall and everything in the space has to “work/look good” from one angle it shifted my mindset of how I’d typically design a room. Function still played a role but in a new showcase-y kind of way that I wasn’t familiar with. So, instead of thinking about the room as a 3-dimensional space I looked at it as if it were first a piece of art that you could then jump into and walk around. It had to work as both.

The solution was layers and layers and then some more layers.

Here was my initial paired down mood board that we showed you a few months back. Giving you all a sense of the space without giving it all away. That wicker bed from Serena and Lily was the first piece I picked out that made me believe that this space could work. Followed with a close second & third by the Matrix Chair from Article and the Hay Design Matin Lamp that I think everyone in the office including myself has had heart eyes for once or twice. We’ve loved a pleated lampshade ever since Jess pointed out the newly rising trend way back when.

And this was just the beginning…

The first and probably most important layer was to cover up those stark white walls. This space needed a dose of traditional character and nothing says that more to me than the trusted wallpaper and board & batten combo. Chasing Paper’s Tree Toile in Mono was the quintessential pattern for the space. It adds that layer of depth without being too overwhelming. I’m talking to you art wall. There are two types of texture you can add to a space one is 3D like a shag rug, our millwork, or pattern. I decided to include both with our board and batten walls painted in Behr’s Red Pepper. I’ll be honest, I was a bit nervous to tell Emily that this is the paint color I wanted to use in the space. The lady likes red but more of a bright and happy red of which this isn’t really. But once she saw it on the mood board she was all for it.

There was a fine line of how high was too high or too low the millwork should be. In the end I decided that the height should be based more on the headboard height of the bed more than anything else. At first, I had it at 60″ high on the back wall and 48″ on the other two but something felt off. Then I realized that if it was that high on the back wall there wouldn’t visually be enough breathing room for all the art I had planned to go up there.

So, after playing around with it for a few hours in SketchUp (love you) I went with 54″ high on all 3 walls. It was a little over halfway up the wall which would’ve felt awkward had I not filled the walls with other visual weight. That is always something you want to consider when determining the height of your millwork and also where it will intersect your light switches (something we didn’t have to think about for our space) or other permanent fixtures along your walls. Be sure they are either included in the millwork or sit above but not half and half.

Above are the profiles I chose, with plenty of help from Charla and Justine, from our favorite vendor Metrie. They are the same two lovely ladies that helped Emily and I to pick out/design all that millwork in the Portland House. For this project, we got our material inspiration from The Gold Hive – Ashley Goldman’s Master Bedroom which included some very thin lattice which would be our flatstock with a low profile. This would take up just a little real-estate in this tiny space.

That isn’t our only small space/renter hack that we have for you today read more below.

But first…here she is our Eclectic English lady!

Side Note: Some of the items in the render like the lounge chair & dresser are not the same as in the mood board. Building detailed furniture in SketchUp can be tedious and extremely time-consuming especially ones with realistic-looking cushions. So I took the easy way out (aka saved hours of on the clock time) and downloaded similar options. It was late. I was tired. And this is a skill I am working on so I think this version is much better than what I could’ve come up with. So imagine that awesome Matrix Chair from Article and this nightstand.

As Emily would describe her she is, “…just a touch senile, with a dirty martini in her hand, perhaps some sort of old Hollywood headpiece, and head to toe in patterned clothes. She freely tells us about her affair with Wes Anderson (a younger man! Grandma!) and maybe she has tons of cash hidden around the house. But she’s a little old world too – she loves a floral print, she’s always ready to put the kettle on and share some well-earned life experience, and her shelves are stuffed with souvenirs from decades of travel. My friends love her, and my kids can’t wait to visit her because surely she will tell them something they are far too young to hear.”

Do you see her? Do you love her? Or is she just a little too much for you? You can be honest cause she would tell you the harsh truth right back to your face. But then I am not her, so I ask of you be constructive in any of your criticism you might have. Thanks

5 Renter Hacks for a Small Space:

Re-think The Gallery Wall – As we all know a gallery wall is a sure-fire way to add that needed dose of personality into those box-like apartments but then you’re stuck with patching up who know how many holes when moving out. Cause I know that for every piece of art that I hang in a gallery wall there are probably 3x the amount of holes necessary behind it. Done is better than perfect around here and I don’t have the patience with templates. So instead, consider a picture hanging rod which will require minimal holes in your wall and you have more freedom to swap out art over time. This idea works well in the space since we added the millwork which projected out from the wall which let us still overlap the art.

Layer Up – If you live in a space with flooring that you wish you could just replace or snap your fingers and make them disappear, then consider getting a rug approx. the size of your space and layer a smaller rug on top. This typically works best if the smaller rug is about two sizes down and is in the same style. Also, be sure that the rug on top has a higher pile than the one below.

When in Doubt Mount It – Want to add a coat rack to your space? Try a 6-arm coat hook instead. Thinking about getting a bookcase? Maybe opt. for some shelves. Anything that you can install on your walls to free up some coveted floor space is golden in a small room.

Double Duty – In a small space it is a great idea for your furniture to serve multiple purposes when you lack the square footage. We made sure our floor lamp had a small table attached and our dresser’s marble top was the perfect place for a martini station. Although, I know I could’ve done a better job on more storage for the space like including a nightstand with a drawer or a bench with a shelf. I choose the more visual pleasing option, form over function and I am okay with my decisions. It is a showroom after all and our hypothetical lady is a maximalist minimalist at heart. Avert your eyes on this fact I just pointed out and let’s move on!

Not Your Average Sconce – Since there wasn’t going to be any overhead lighting in the space due to the lack of a ceiling which is hopefully not an issue any of you are running into in your home… We got a little creative in the lighting department. A floor and table lamp were probably sufficient enough for the space but to bump up the quirk factor I wanted to “DIY” our own plug-in sconce. Using an iron hook and utility bare bulb pendant, the plan was to wrap the cord somehow (Sara and I were going to figure out this little factor when we got there) to create a sconce.

If any of you are interested in this look here are all of the products:

There were a lot of accessories that Sara and myself were going to play with once on-site so instead of letting all those sourcing hours go to waste we figured to round them up for all you Eclectic English Enthusiasts. Enjoy!

In lieu of the original event plan, Apartment Therapy created these adorable illustrations (see below) and animations of all 20 spaces. You can check out our space here!

Be sure to peruse all the amazing work by the rest of the designers as well including: Hilton Carter, all-of-our-favorite Orlando Soria, one of the cutest/creative couples Nate Berkus & Jeremiah Brent, one of Caitlin’s Favorites Caitlin Murray plus many many more talented designers.

That’s all she (I) wrote! I hope this brought a bit of sunshine to your Monday morning. And I can promise you that you will one day see a real room reveal again but in the meantime I’ll be practicing my SketchUp skillzzz.

For those of you that are skeptical of the Eclectic English trend, I am curious. Does this design convince you that it is the new cool trend or does it still give you frightening flashbacks?? Let’s talk more about it below!

The post The Design That We’ll Never Get to See in Person – AT’s Small/Cool Event + 5 Renter Hacks for a Small Space appeared first on Emily Henderson.

Agilenano - News from Agilenano from shopsnetwork (4 sites) https://agilenano.com/blogs/news/the-design-that-we-ll-never-get-to-see-in-person-at-s-small-cool-event-5-renter-hacks-for-a-small-space

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jaynearmesiln3001propractice · 4 years

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Their Website: https://theaoi.com/

AOI was established in 1973, their aim is to maintain the illustration industry, by uniting illustrators and the industry with education, promotion and campaigning to “achieve a thriving industry for all.” They represent a voice for independent illustrators, protecting their rights and creating ethical standards within the industry.

The lecture was with Rachel Hill (membership manager), she covered a range of information, some of which I have covered slightly on this blog. But I will start with the benefits of joining the AOI, and prices. The AOI help with networking, and have a page on their website dedicated to upcoming events. When you become a member you gain access to exclusive resources that are very valuable and helpful. Once you leave uni, getting the support and advice you need can be hard, but the AOI offer these services. You receive dedicated help by email or by phone 24/7. They can advise you with forming contracts, negotiations and professional practice. Once a member you also receive discounts on their publications, directories, as well as a free magazine subscription. They offer portfolio reviews and feedback and business consultations with professionals. The best time to become a member is now, as the student discount is £56 per year, £4.80 a month. They also conduct a competition called the World Illustration Award (WIA), where the top 200 entrants are sent out to commissioners worldwide.

Their Publications:

- THE ILLUSTRATOR’S GUIDE TO LAW AND BUSINESS PRACTICE BY SIMON STERN

- THE EDITORIAL DIRECTORY

- THE ADVERTISING DIRECTORY

- THE PUBLISHING DIRECTORY

- ALL DIRECTORIES

The Lecture

Self-promotion

- keep your self promotional websites and social media, simple, clean and to the point, Let your work speak for itself, this means thinking about what work you’d like to be commissioned for and making sure your work reflects it. keep your work within one style, otherwise it can be confusing for clients. -Make sure your website works on mobiles, as this is the most common way people will find you. People rarely browse social media on their computers. Clients and commissioners are not always a huge fan of contact forms, so include an option for direct emails or phone calls. Cut out the middle-man.

Finding Clients

- Rachel Hill suggests to study the industry and find your niche, creating dream client lists can help you find your desired specific area in illustration. - She also suggests to buy directories, which are full on client contacts, that want to be contacted. I have linked these books above and the AOI sells one for each industry sector for illustration. Make sure you are contacting people for valid reasons, do not send blanket emails, these are now against the law. When emailing avoid starting with “Dear sir/madam”, this feels impersonal and can come across as a scam/spam email. Find their name and make sure to introduce yourself, including a link to your website. Your email can include some images, we are all visual people, and like to see pictures. - try posting physical items to commissioners. Again make sure it’s addressed to a specific individual usually an art director; easily found on LinkedIn. This is something I am already working on, as I am creating a calendar to send to Phil Cleaver. If this is something i want to be do on a more regularly, then postcards work well and are cheaper to send and produce. Make sure my name and contact details are on the front of the postcard.

Business

- Register with HMRC as self-employed no later than October 5th in your second year of working, this is the latest date but can be done before. - File your self assessment tax form by the end of January. - Keep up to date with accounts or else you will be swamped before your deadline. Keep all receipts, invoices and contracts from every job.

Social Media

social media is FREE advertising, so make the most of it. Twitter - it’s recommended as a freelancer to have a twitter account. Having a sense of community can make the worklife feel less lonely and garner support from all over the world. Though be careful not to rant about bad experiences, these rants can be damaging and cost you future clients. Instead the AOI can help you deal with these issues privately. Make sure you do NOT post about projects that have yet been released to the public. Companies will try to sue you, unless previously discussed and agreed with. Instagram - Instagram is also great as its a visual platform, but make sure to keep personal and professional accounts separate. Make sure to use the stories function on instagram to draw people to your profile, and give some behind the scenes footage. Social media algorithms love consistent and constant uploads, so aim to post regularly, minimum twice a week. Also try to invest time into interacting with your followers. It is recommended that 30 minutes a day will keep you relevant enough for the algorithm to promote you. Make sure your instagram account is on ‘business’.

Rights

When you produce an image, you have the copyright through your lifetime + 70 years after that. You cannot copyright a style, technique or idea only the image itself. This includes all creative fields including photography, so make sure to use multiple images for reference, as even an illustration or graphic portrait can be traced back to the original source. The main case study she uses to express the legal issues with this is the Hope, Obey artwork (below) where clearly the illustration was traced. This lead to a legal battle where the photographer of the original image won, and asked for a significant sum of money. Keep your work as unique as possible; stick to your niche, the more generic the greater the risk for infringement. Fanart is also discouraged for a similar reason.

- Try to avoid a client that asks for copyright assignment. You will lose all rights to your work, and the client will be able to use the image for whatever they like, without further payment or permission. Try to work on a licensing basis, it gives the clients everything they need, whilst keeping your work safe from any unwanted changed, or applications. The AOI can help with licensing, and offer a downloadable PDF that you can fill out and send to the client.

Moral rights waiver - is automatic to you, but can be waived. A specimen form of waiver by which the author of a copyright literary, dramatic, musical or artistic work, or the director of a copyright film, waives his rights to be identified as the author or director of the work in question and/or his right to object to derogatory treatment of the work.

Right of paternity - The right to be identified, known as the right of paternity, applies to the creators of original literary, dramatic, musical or artistic works. Your work is yours, and is identified with you.

Right of Integrity - The right of integrity protects artists from having their copyrighted works altered in such a fashion as to constitute a "distortion" or "mutilation" of the original work, or in a way that harms the author's reputation or honour.

- When uploading your work online, make sure it is in a lower dpi (72) and your name is apart of the file name, so that your work can be linked to you. But beware some sites such as facebook and pinterest strip all file names, so this link is lost. Also Society6 get the rights to your image, and can then use the image for themselves, so stay away.

Contracts

Contracts are legally binding, they give clarity and show professionalism. They also act as evidence if there are any disputes between the creator and clients and can be used in court. There are two main types on contacts, verbal contacts that usually take place over the phone, and paper contracts, that are more black and white and in my opinion the one i feel most comfortable with. When a client come to you with a contract it will usually favour them, but it is normal to negotiate and bring them in your favour. This can only happen if you have not yet signed a contract, as afterwards they are non-negotiable. You should always have a contract, it is a good habit to get into, just incase. The AOI also offer a template agreement for clients that don’t have their own contracts. The AOI template is a silent agreement, which the client does not have to sign, they just have to respond if the agreement is okay. Make sure to keep your end of the bargain, and keep on time with deadlines. The license start date is the date in which the client can start using the image, they cannot use it before this date. Make sure to use words like ‘ONLY’ and ‘EXCLUSIVE’, as it emphasises that they cannot use the images for anything else, and its only them that can use it. Things to look out for are copyright assignment, moral rights waiver and irrevocable licenses, always question these motives and get them removed before signing anything.

Crucial clauses

- Always make sure payment is defined, how and when you’ll be paid. If your working for a large sum on money, make sure this payment is in stages, it ensures you are paid before moving onto the next steps, and if a project falls through last minute, you have at least been paid previously. These stages can be split between, roughs, amends, and final artwork. Allow 3 amends before charging further. - Termination clause is needed in case something goes wrong and you wish to terminate. Cancellation is when a project doesn’t go ahead but it isn’t your fault. It also ensures payment up to the stage you have work until. - Sub-licensing sections mean that if a new deal is negotiated regarding your illustrations, you can recieve more money. For example a children’s book, turns into a film. - Make sure that you get to finish your work. Sometime companies get one illustrator to do roughs and another to finish them. This is not okay and should be avoided, as it complicated your rights as the copyright owner and payment.

Negotiation and Payments

When negotiating prices and figures with clients try not to give ball-park figures, and do not accept these either. Push the clients (nicely) to give all details before signing anything, this is crucial to figuring out if you still want the job and if it’s right for you. Address clients like this: “Before I can quote I will need more details....”. Clients may also ask you for your day rate; illustrators do not work on a day rate so Rachel suggests that in response send the licensing agreement. clients know how to get what they want, they often use tactic such as “we are looking at 3 other illustrators” to make you lower your price. Though don’t feel pressured by this, work for what you feel comfortable with. Working for low prices or for free undermines the illustration industry, as well as your future career and potential income. These big companies have the money to pay you, and often it is within their budget, so don’t let them pin illustrators against each other. Fees change depending on a variety of reasons. The size of the artwork, where it will be seen, how long they are using it, what the exact usage is, how many illustrations. Softer considerations include, the clients industry; business and finance has a lot more money than education. This also applies to products ie an expensive whisky bottle. Make sure to do background research, this may help inform you on fees, budget and reach of audience. The AOI does offer a pricing calculator, and is only available to members. A good guideline for annual income is London’s living wage £18,700 when first starting, This can be increased after 1-3 years of freelancing to £20K-£25K. Make sure when pricing you consider you outgoings ie, software fees, rent, internet bills and general spendings. Keep track of your money! Average annual income per sector:

Editorial - £20K Advertising - £35K Publishing - £25K Products and Packaging - £22K Corporate - £25K

Advertising - There are two types of advertising, above the line (magazines, newspapers, billboards etc) and below the line (their sites, social media, in house). Above the line means clients have paid for a the space. the term out of home (OOH) means use in public spaces, these are very valuable. Online adverts and social media posts are below the line and are less valuable. The larger the audience the more you can charge.

Products and Packaging - payment will depend on the size of the company and the exposure. Background information is key, know the price of the product and its target market. It will give you an indication to the profits of the company and how much budget they have.

Publishing - You get money for the initial illustrations, but then royalties once the book is sold. This works as a percentage of each book sold and ranges from 5-10% depending on if you also wrote the book. Advance fee which is based on the size of the publisher and the territory it is sold. It is advised that if a self-publisher approaches you, to only ask for a flat fee, as often royalties aren't worth the risk with them. Samples and pitches should be paid for a licence too. Uk licence, single use, illustration for client sample presentation use only £X amount. Additional fees should be added for amends, and if there's a quick turnaround (rush fee) make sure you increase you price, the work you put in should be respected, especially when having to work unsociable hours to rush a deadline (ie. a children’s book in 3 weeks).

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captainlenfan · 5 years

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New Post has been published on http://websiteshop.network/episode-433-qa-with-robb-and-nicki-26/

Episode 433 – Q&A with Robb and Nicki #26

http://robbwolf.com/2019/06/21/episode-433-qa-with-robb-and-nicki-26/

We’re back on a roll with Episode 433, Q&A #26!

Submit your own questions for the podcast at: https://robbwolf.com/contact/submit-a-question-for-the-podcast/

If you want to see the video for this podcast, be sure to check out our YouTube channel.

Show Notes:

1. Enzymes and IBS? [3:32]

Ken says:

Talk to us about enzymes Robb. I’ve played with alot of different things over the years to help with IBS issues. For a long time I was devoted to probiotics but I never found any real consistent results with them. I took a stool test a year or so ago and discovered that literally none of the strains of probiotics I had so diligently taken (and paid for) were significantly present. Along the way anti fungals and anti parasitic medication (Dr Rx’d) helped calm the fire down below but it was enzymes that seem to seem to have made the final difference for me. Not only is the fire largely out I’ve really not had to keep up with taking enzymes like I did with probiotics. To be fair to probiotics they seem to help in the moment but I get the sense you have to take them daily which does not seem to be the case with enzymes. I should mention I know several people that have had the same experience with probiotics and enzymes. My question then is what is the mechanism at work? I get that enzymes help break down foods but why would that help with IBS symptoms and furthermore why would those symptoms be largely gone after only 6 months or so of using them but not taking them daily even?

2. Squat Pooping and Toilet Training [10:42]

Terrence says:

Hey Robb and Nicki!

Loving the new Q&A format! You have done such a great job educating the public on what to put in one end of their bodies that I want to take a moment to talk about how to get the most out of what comes out the other end!

I am a first-time dad of a now 16-month-old, so that means we’re starting to approach potty training. As we all know, the “natural, paleo way” of pooping is getting into that deep squat and letting fly. It’s so obvious to me that this is the way we’re meant to poop. I see it every morning: my little girl suddenly stops playing with her toys and drops into that ass-to-grass squat that my jiujitsu hips will never do again. By the time that thousand-yard stare creeps into her eyes, I’ve already got one hand on my SLS-free baby wipes.

Every parent has seen that, and yet every parent in this hemisphere insists on trying to get their kid going from this squat position to sitting on a porcelain platform with his/her feet dangling. The toddler naturally resists with a, “what the hell do you expect me to do from here?” look. Frustration ensues, but poop doesn’t. It seems like transitioning our toddlers from diapers to seated toilets is yet another mismatch of nature in our modern civilization.

For adults, it’s easy to make a homemade platform or buy a Squatty Potty / similar product. But what’s the plan for tots? I’ve considered setting up a kitty litter box in the bathroom. The mother-in-law is almost certainly going to lose her shit (heh heh) but maybe that’s the price of being the world’s #2 Dad!

Would love to hear your Paleo Poop Solution for how we are Wired to Shit.

-Terrence

3. Travel Eating Tips? [14:30]

Luiza says:

Got your masterclass and it was paramount for the achievement of the keto sunset. 8 weeks in, 15 lbs down and I feel amazing!

However I am quite a foodie and will be heading to Paris for 10 days in June to vacation with my brother and dad. I will be staying at a hotel and definitely don’t wanna miss out on real French croissants or pastries… I also am from Brazil and while I can tell the benefits of keto long term, I would not be able to go visit and skip out of eating fruits, which is most of my diet while I’m down there.

so question: Should I still try my best to keep up with calories/macro count while traveling and/or supplement with exogenous ketones (do they even work?) or should I not worry about it until I get back home? Am I gonna feel absolutely awful while getting back on carbs? On that note, maybe I should re-introduce carbs before I even go?

Appreciate your guidance on the issue.

4. BJJ + Recurring Staph Infections [18:39]

Sam says:

Dear Robb + Nicki,

Over the last 12 year period, I’ve made numerous attempts to train BJJ–each attempt ending in a staph infection. My first time was about 12 years ago, where I got a good year of training in. This was punctuated by a pretty bad staph infection that flared back up a few more times shortly after. 8 years later, I went for it again…this time getting a staph infection after one week of training. Most recently, I got 6 months in before getting another. As you can imagine, every doctor I’ve ever talked to thinks I just need more antibiotics, or that I have some secret colony of staph living in my nose. This approach has obviously not been successful for me. It also fails to address why I only get them while training, and never in the periods in between. While hygiene may have been to blame the first time, I was pretty careful the last two times, even if it wasn’t 100% perfect. I had a funky sleep schedule before my most recent occurrence, which I think may have contributed. Some more details for you…I’m 33, in good shape, otherwise healthy, eat well, and sleep well. I’ve always lifted weights outside of BJJ but nothing crazy in terms of volume. My question for you is: If this was happening to you, where would you start? What would you be looking at? I have considered seeing a functional medicine practitioner as I’ve wondered if there are some bigger picture immune issues at play. I appreciate any thoughts you have on this– I don’t want my BJJ career to be over so soon. Thanks!

Notes: https://www.defensesoap.com/

5. Adult Autism – Should I Go Keto? [23:51]

Alex says:

Hi Nicki and Robb,

I’m 29 and was diagnosed as on the autism spectrum just two years ago. This would have been considered as asperger’s in the past. I’ve been primarily paleo (ice cream is really good) for the better part of six years, but after running my DNA through Found My Fitness, I’m wanting to address my dietary choices from a more personalized approach, including finding the most optimal choices to address some of the occasional stressors I feel associated with being on the spectrum – anxiety, depression, and general cognitive/mood disregulation.

The most researched dietary intervention seems to be a gluten free, dairy free diet, with a few studies looking into keto. However, each study I’ve seen is only looking at kids as the subjects and typically with more severe symptoms than what I experience. Keto seems to be a promising approach, but is there any reason why this would be different for an adult? I tried keto for about a month a year ago but immediately found my cognitive performance drop. While I know my macro amounts were appropriate (used ketogains calculator), I know now that I didn’t incorporate the electrolyte component. Could this account for my initial struggles with it? Is there anything else someone on the spectrum should consider when attempting keto? Supplements, macro ratios, etc.? I’ll include more details about me below, but thank you for your time in reading question and all of your work.

Alex

29 years old

6′ 4”, 240 lbs

CrossFit 3-4x per week

Sleep 6-7 hours a night (we have a 1 year old that thinks the day begins at 3:30am)

Polymorphisms of concern from FoundMyFitness: MTHFR (which seems to be common in those on the spectrum), FTO (multiple SNPs), APEO3/4 (multiple SNPs)

Live in Minnesota where sun exposure is only frequent enough where your skin doesn’t freeze

Where you can find us:

Submit questions for the podcast: https://robbwolf.com/contact/submit-a-question-for-the-podcast/

Transcript:

Download a copy of the transcript here (PDF)

Nicki: Hey, Hubs

Robb: Welcome back, wife. What’s new? What’s exciting? We’re living in the Arctic of Reno

Nicki: I know. It’s been a really, really long, drawn-out spring going into summer. It’s cold.

Robb: The White King is dead. Winter should be ending, but it’s not.

Nicki: Winter is still here.

Robb: Yup. Did you want to fill people in on anything, or do you just want to jump in?

Nicki: If you want, sure, what we’re thinking of doing.

Robb: Sure. Well, no, you do it.

Nicki: Well, we have decided that we are going to be moving to Texas.

Robb: You gonna be oblique about where so nobody can find us? We had a crazy story. Zoe was only a couple of days old…

Nicki: I don’t know what crazy story you’re telling.

Robb: …that, when the people showed up at our front door?

Nicki: Oh. Yeah.

Robb: Yeah. So, a little bit of background, and I’m sorry, if you don’t give two shits about this, just fast forward a little. A really close friend of ours had just had this super gnarly identity theft thing go on where somebody found out that they were out of town, they forwarded their mail… It was super, super messed up-

Nicki: Yeah.

Robb: …and so we were kind of a little on edge from that.

Nicki: So, that was one week before, and then we had Zoe. She was super young. I was, like, nursing in the back room.

Robb: This was day four or five and we were completely sleep deprived, like, out of your head and you’re legitimately insane at this point.

Nicki: Uh-huh (affirmative).

Robb: And, somebody had pinged Squatchy, and they’re like, “Hey, I want to send Robb one of these exercise mobility ball things or something like that, and so Squatchy had given them our home address, and, lo and behold, somebody knocks on the door-

Nicki: (laughs)

Robb: and I show up at the door just disheveled and exhausted, and there are these people I’ve never met before with this little rubber ball. They’re like-

Nicki: They’re like, “Oh, we had a wedding to go to and so we were driving through, so we thought we would just personally deliver it.” (laughs)

Robb: And so, after that, we got a P.O. box. And, it’s not that we hide our location, but I’ve had a few, kind of wacky threats from the crazy vegans and stuff like that. We have kids and so, yeah. So, we’ll be… it’s central Texas. Yeah, we’re looking at central Texas.

Nicki: Hill country Texas.

Robb: Hill country Texas.

Nicki: But, not Austin.

Robb: But, not Austin. Yeah. All the cool kids can go there. We’re going somewhere else. So, anyway, yeah, we’re looking at moving so the podcast may be a little hit and miss. We’re trying to bank some of these-

Nicki: Yeah, but-

Robb: …so that we stay on top of that but, yeah.

Nicki: Yeah. So.

Robb: That’s our preamble on that, or our pre-ramble.

Nicki: Pre-ramble. All right. We’ll jump in then.

Robb: Okay. Cool.

Nicki: So our first question is on enzymes and IBS from Ken, and he says, “Robb, talk to us about enzymes. I’ve played with a lot of different things over the years to help with IBS issues and, for a long time, I was devoted to probiotics, but I never found any real, consistent results with them. I took a stool test a year or so ago and discovered that literally none of the strains of probiotics I had so diligently taken and paid for were significantly present. Along the way, anti-fungals and anti-parasitic medication, doctor-prescribed, helped calm the fire down below, but it was enzymes that seemed to have made the final difference for me.

Nicki: Not only is the fire largely out, I’ve really not had to keep up with taking enzymes like I did with probiotics. To be fair to probiotics, they seem to help in the moment, but I get the sense you have to take them daily, which does not seem to be the case with enzymes. I should mention I know several people that have had the same experience with probiotics and enzymes, and my question is, what is the mechanism at work? I get that enzymes help break down foods, but why would that help with IBS symptoms and, furthermore, why would those symptoms be largely gone after only six months or so of using them, but not taking them even daily?”

Robb: Yeah, it’s really interesting stuff. When I was at the UCSF conference that Akil Palanisamy puts on each year, really amazing event. Doctor Datis Kharrazian was there, and this guy is so smart. Chiro and also a Ph.D in Immunology, I think, from Harvard, so kind of… D.C., Ph.D guy, and he’s a real, legit gut health expert, and really on the… how do you fix things clinically. And, he did an amazing breakdown of this whole story, and he relies heavily on things like betaine hydrochloride, apple cider vinegar, which I have shifted to using capsules because, when I would do the apple cider vinegar shots, it was dissolving my teeth, which it has a tendency to do, and butyrate.

Robb: So, what’s going on on that in kind of a multi-factorial story is that the enzymes in improving the acid content of the stomach while you’re eating food… if you break everything down into its constituent parts, and we’re really concerned about the proteins in this story, and proteins, whether it’s from animal sources or plant sources, if they hit the gut lining as single amino acids or dipeptides, which is about the ideal scenario, there’s really not immunogenic substance, then. There’s not the problematic proteins that can irritate the gut and cause the motility issues that kind of typify IBS. And then, he recommended the butyrate because the butyrate tends to help fix the gap junction issues within the gut in kind of a primary indirect fashion.

Robb: So, when a healthy gut, assuming that an individual is eating some fermented, fermentable fiber and all that type of stuff, would get butyrate and propionate and malonate and these different short-chain fats, that improve gap junction function, and then, in theory, a healthy gut, people are robustly digesting all of their food, including the proteins, and also the carbohydrates that should be digested early in the process versus, you know, if we have poor digestion, those carbohydrates can make their way intact into later portions of the digestion, which is kind of where SIBO and all that stuff pops up.

Robb: So, that’s kind of the mechanism there, and it makes a lot of sense, and what’s interesting about that, it’s a little bit reminiscent… the gut health topic and the microbiome topic is really interesting, and I think when we’ve talked about this a couple of times before, but clearly the gut microbiome and gut health is critical. But, we don’t really know yet, I think in general, what to do about it.

Robb: About fifty percent… Most of the studies you look at, Doctor Ruscio has talked about this… a hundred people take a probiotic formula, about half of the people show improvements, half the people don’t. Some of the don’ts actually get worse. So, it’s very hit and miss in that regard, and also the probiotics generally are not intended to be repopulating the gut. They’re actually intended to kind of tune the immune system, although some work from the Sonnenberg Lab suggests that the process of putting these gut microbes from probiotics through this system actually creates a more amenable environment for you to get other organisms from the environment that should be taking up residence there, and… really interesting stuff.

Robb: But, the point being that… if we look at people who have had different forms of ileostomies, like, basically having their intestines, to varying degrees removed, these people don’t live shorter, worser lives than people with all of that real estate. And this is despite whatever injury or illness caused that scenario.

Robb: So, on the one had, clearly the gut microbiome and gut health is really important, but it seems, in my mind… my kind of take on this, is it’s really, really important to either function well or, if pathology has occurred, then we need to somehow address the pathology, because, clearly, just removing that real estate, it makes all the notion of, well, fiber is critical to health and all this stuff. It really kind of casts an interesting light on it, so, in the scenario of really augmenting frontal digestion with enzymes and potentially, again, apple cider vinegar or some other acid sources, that would appear to really fix a lot of problems because we’re breaking the food down and there isn’t the large proteins that are potentially immunogenically stimulating.

Robb: So, that’s what’s going on both on the probiotics side and, most likely, on the enzyme side. It is intriguing to me that you can get by with this with intermittent use instead of needing to be really consistent. But also, even though the IBS had gone on apparently for some significant period of time, he maybe only needs to kind of pulse that whole process. Because it is interesting, too, once the gut heals, then cholecystokinin release is more normalized, and acid secretions are more normalized. We know that H. pylori suppresses acid production, ironically, even though it’s associated with peptic ulcers, but it tends to suppress acid production in the stomach to foster a more amenable environment for the H. pylori. So, sometimes if we move out the… if we change the gut microbiome in a favorable way, then it just actually gets a little bit of a feed forward mechanism going and it just generally functions better. So, yeah.

Nicki: All right. Our next question is from Terrence on squat pooping and toilet training. Terrence says, “Hey Robb and Nicki, loving the new Q and A format. You’ve done such a great job educating the public on what to put in one end of their bodies that I want to take a moment to talk about how to get the most out of what comes out the other end.

Nicki: I’m a first-time dad of a now-sixteen-month-old, so that means we’re starting to approach potty training. As we all know, the natural Paleo way of pooping is getting into that deep squat and letting fly. So obvious to me that this is the way we’re meant to poop. I see it every morning: my little girl suddenly stops playing with her toys and drops into that ass-to-grass squat that my jiu jitsu hips will never do again. By the time that thousand-yard stare creeps into her eyes, I’ve already got one hand on my SLS-free baby wipes. (laughs)

Nicki: Every parent has seen that and yet every parent in this hemisphere insists on trying to get their kid going from this squat position to sitting on a porcelain platform with his or her feet dangling. The toddler naturally resists with a, ‘What the hell do you expect me to do from here?’ look, and frustration ensues, but poop doesn’t.

Nicki: Seems like transitioning your toddlers from diapers to seated toilets is yet another mismatch of nature in our modern civilization. For adults, it’s easy to make a homemade platform, or buy a Squatty Potty, or similar product, but what’s the plan for tots? I’ve considered setting up a kitty litter box in the bathroom. (laughs) Mother-in-law is almost certainly going to lose her shit, (laughs) but maybe that’s the price of being the World’s Number Two Dad.” (laughs)

Robb: (laughs)

Nicki: Terrence, that’s hilarious. “Would love to hear your Paleo poop solution for how we are wired to shit.”

Robb: Terrence definitely gets Best Question of the Podcast History Award.

Nicki: He gets… yeah.

Robb: I don’t know, I mean… the first thought that pops in my mind is, “This is a great product opportunity for Terrence to get in and try to address.

Nicki: You know what’s interesting is other countries have… you do squat.

Robb: Right.

Nicki: I remember traveling to Turkey when I was nineteen, and even Italy, I think, they have some toilets like this, where it’s a hole in the ground, it’s porcelain, then there’s a little spot for your feet, but you actually squat. And, it flushes, but you’re not sitting on anything.

Robb: So, yeah.

Nicki: I’m sure you can order these toilets and have them installed in your home. [laughs]

Robb: Right. Can we do that with our new house?

Nicki: We can look into it.

Robb: Look into that. Yeah, I mean, we saw this same phenomena go down, and there is pretty clear literature suggesting that pooping not in a squat… you get a little bit of, like, fecal backflow because we’re supposed to have a valsalva maneuver, and… so, yeah, this is another one of the things that… you know, it’s so interesting, some of the articles on this, is, suggests that a lot of what we characterize as kind of normal GI dysfunction is a consequence of the way that we’re pooping, but that’s just so endemic that it’s kind of a problem hidden in plain sight. The researchers generally never even ask the question, “Well, if I change my position and was in a more, you know, I guess it’s not orthopedically, like, poop-opedically aligned position that, you know, this stuff would be addressed.

Robb: But, yeah, I’ve wanted the pit toilet for a while.

Nicki: Yeah, it’s just a square, porcelain thing-

Robb: And it still flushes and does all that stuff, yeah.

Nicki: …that sits in the ground with a hole, just like a normal toilet bowl hole, with little grooves for your shoes, and you just squat, and it has a flush.

Robb: Well, let’s look into that.

Nicki: (laughs) Okay.

Robb: (laughs) Terrence, we’ll keep you posted if we find one of those in the new digs, we’ll send you info on it. But, really good question, and it’s interesting, and this is another one of these things that we get our kids started off not on the right foot with a lot of stuff. Yeah.

Nicki: All right. Let’s see. Our next question is from Luiza on falling off the wagon. She says, “I got your masterclass and it was paramount for the achievement of the keto sunset. Eight weeks in, fifteen pounds down, and I feel amazing. However, I’m quite a foodie, and will be heading to Paris for ten days in June to vacation with my brother and dad. I will be staying at a hotel and definitely don’t want to miss out on real French croissants or pastries. I also am from Brazil, and while I can tell the benefits of keto long-term, I would not be able to go visit and skip out on eating fruit, which is most of my diet while I’m down there.

Nicki: So, my question: should I still try my best to keep up with the calories and macro count while traveling, and/or supplement with exogenous ketones? Do they even work? Or, should I not worry about it until I get back home? And, am I going to feel absolutely awful while getting back on carbs? On that note, maybe I should reintroduce carbs before I go. I appreciate your guidance on the issue.”

Robb: So, maybe we’ll start from the back and then work forward. Are you going to feel awful going back on carbs? I have no idea.

Nicki: Depends on-

Robb: …it just depends, person-to-person. I don’t know, I go back and forth on this. On the one hand, I guess a really minimal tweak to what you’re doing and still being able to enjoy all that you have to experience there, try to make sure you hit your protein minimum. That just seems to be so important for not overeating, whether we’re on a low-carb or a low-fat diet. So, by hook or by crook, just make sure that you get your protein in. If you’re in Brazil, then eat all the fruit, but make sure that you’re getting plenty of protein with the fruit. When you’re eating your croissant, make sure that you don’t forgo the eggs and-

Nicki: Sausage and whatever.

Robb: …sausage and all that type of stuff. And, a little bit of portion control… I mean, the challenge, or the benefit, of keto is that we’re removing the carb-fat combo, and that’s where it becomes challenging for people to maintain normal appetite control. Again, adequate protein is really going to help with that, but… So-

Nicki: So, in Brazil, should she do protein and fruit, and skip any additional fat?

Robb: Yes.

Nicki: And in Paris, she could do protein and don’t put butter on her French croissants and pastries.

Robb: Maybe a little bit, but yeah.

Nicki: Yeah, try to-

Robb: Just don’t go crazy on it. Yeah.

Nicki: …I think there’s a lot of butter in them already-

Robb: Right.

Nicki: …when they make them, but trying to minimize the fat if she’s going to increase her carbs.

Robb: Yeah, yeah, to some degree. And, as to the exogenous ketones, exogenous ketones are great, but the point isn’t necessarily to take a ketone supplement to paper over other dietary concerns, unless we’re really tackling that from a neurodegenerative perspective, or something like that. So, I mean, I don’t really see the exogenous ketones being a huge boon in this scenario.

Robb: If you like them, some people do notice that they do get some appetite regulation by dropping in a scoop of the exogenous ketones or the MCTs. There’s one study that suggests a carb-rich breakfast plus MCTs caused people to then… and also, I’ve got to say they ate adequate protein in this, too, so it wasn’t just carbs and MCT. It was a good whack of protein, some standard carb intake, but then adding MCT in, what they noticed over time, was that these folks tended to eat fewer calories overall throughout the day.

Nicki: Hm.

Robb: And Chris Masterjohn did a nice unpacking of this, and so… That might work that similarly with the exogenous ketones. We don’t have a study on that yet. There is one reasonably well-performed study that suggests that MCT powder or MCT oil does that.

Nicki: Okay. Well, have fun, Luiza. That sounds like a really fun summer.

Robb: I wouldn’t mind that. Yeah.

Nicki: Okay. Let’s see. Our next question is from Sam on BJJ and recurring staph infections.

Nicki: “Dear Robb and Nicki, over the last twelve-year period, I’ve made numerous attempts to train BJJ, each attempt ending in a staph infection. My first time was about twelve years ago, where I got a good year of training in, which was punctuated by a pretty bad staph infection that flared back up a few more times shortly after. Eight years later, I went for it again, this time getting a staph infection after one week of training. Most recently, I got six months in before getting another. As you can imagine, every doctor I have talked to thinks I just need more antibiotics, or that I have some secret colony of staph living in my nose.

Nicki: This approach has obviously not been successful for me. It also fails to address why I only get them while training and never in the periods in between. While hygiene may have been to blame the first time, I was pretty careful the last two times, even if I wasn’t 100% perfect. I had a funky sleep schedule before my most recent occurrence, which I think may have contributed.

Nicki: Some more details for you: I’m 33, in good shape, otherwise healthy, eat well, sleep well. I’ve always lifted weights outside of BJJ, but nothing crazy in terms of volume. My question for you is, if this was happening to you, where would you start? What would you be looking at? I’ve considered seeing a functional medicine practitioner, as I’ve wondered if there are some bigger picture immune issues at play, and I appreciate any thoughts you have on this. I don’t want my BJJ career to be over so soon.”

Robb: Yeah. Gosh, where would we jump into this? Getting a functional medicine assessment wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, to see if there is something kind of off with HPTA axis, cortisol, which could be suppressing immune function… Definitely the hygiene of the gym that you’re in is a big factor. The places that we’ve gone to, they’re pretty on it. They spray the mats down in between classes, and they’re definitely on top of that. So, that maintenance is important. What is the name of the soap that Darien sells?

Nicki: Oh…

Robb: There’s, like, a-

Nicki: It’s Defense? Defense? Maybe?

Robb: Yeah, Defense Soap. Yeah.

Nicki: I’ll find it for sure and we can put a link in the show notes.

Robb: Yeah, but I think it has tea tree oil and some other antimicrobials, and a lot of people swear by that. This is also why, even though my jiu jitsu game, I’m not fabric-dependent, I’m not hanging onto the gi. I tend to wear a rash guard, and then a gi. I don’t usually wear sprats also, but you could do that. But, taking all that stuff, then you just have minimal surface area exposed.

Robb: So, yeah, I mean, the boxes to tick, see if there’s anything that could be obvious with regards to immune function and something being amiss there. Definitely lean on the facility owners to clean the mats thoroughly. I would recommend wearing a rash guard, possibly sprats and a gi-

Nicki: Wash the gi every single-

Robb: …and launder those aggressively each time.

Nicki: …yeah, every single time. If you get off the mat to go to the bathroom, put shoes on and walk.

Robb: Yeah.

Nicki: Everybody in the gym should be wearing shoes into the bathroom, on and off the mat.

Robb: Yeah, they should be bringing sandals to go in. It’s so gross when you see people sprint to the bathroom. The guy’s always in…

Nicki: Barefoot.

Robb: …barefoot, and then they come back on, and you’re like, “Listen, knucklehead…” But, those are the things. Anything else? Yeah, laundering the, your… whatever you wear thoroughly, and then the Defense Soap, maybe, post-training would be the things that I would look at.

Nicki: Can the sleep thing… I mean, if you’re super sleep-deprived and stuff-

Robb: Definitely, I mean, sleep-deprived. And, one other thought with this is, if you’re going really hard rolling, it’s like a CrossFit workout or something. People can turn these sessions into a near-death experience, which can kind of crush your immune response. And so, you may need to look at the intensity that you’re training, and it’s hard for people to do.

Robb: In the beginning, they just are battling for survival, and the only thing that you can rely on is strength and cardio and power output and everything, but that will knacker you, and it definitely impacts immune response. Yeah, it can kind of dig a hole. So, I would definitely consider, you know, how hard are you going and figure out ways of dialing that back. I would check out Henry Aiken’s Hidden Jiu Jitsu course. He has a specific module in his course when he had a gig in Bali, and he actually has a block of, like, fifteen videos that shows him rolling with the people that attended the event, and Henry just, he looks like he’s almost unconscious.

Robb: Now, granted, he’s got twenty-plus years of jiu jitsu experience, but even though I’m nowhere near where Henry is, my rolling looks way more like that than what you see in the competition videos, where people are super rigid and they’re just go-go-go… and, so, and that’s part of the reason why I’ve been able to train pretty consistently, and I try to figure out how my forty to sixty percent effort can continue to beat or make improvements on everybody else’s ninety-five percent effort. So, that would be another piece to look at.

Nicki: Okay. Let’s see, our last question today is from Alex, an adult on the autism spectrum: should I go keto?

Nicki: “Hi, Nicki and Robb. I’m twenty-nine and I was diagnosed as on the autism spectrum just two years ago. This would have been considered as Asperger’s in the past. I’ve been primarily Paleo, ice cream is really good-

Robb: (laughs)

Nicki: …for the better part of six years, but after running my DNA through FoundMyFitness, I’m wanting to address my dietary choices from a more personalized approach, including finding the most optimal choices to address some of the occasional stressors I feel associated with being on the Spectrum: anxiety, depression, and general cognitive and mood dysregulation.

Nicki: The most researched dietary intervention seems to be a gluten-free, dairy-free diet with a few studies looking into keto. However, each study I’ve seen is only looking at kids as the subjects, and typically with more severe symptoms than what I experience. Keto seems to be a promising approach, but is there any reason why this would be different for an adult?

Nicki: I tried keto for about a month a year ago, but immediately found my cognitive performance drop. While I know my macro amounts were appropriate, I used the Ketogains Calculator, I now know that I didn’t incorporate the electrolyte component. Could this account for my initial struggles with it, and is there anything else someone on the Spectrum should consider while attempting keto? Supplements, macro ratios, et cetera. I’ll include more details about me below, but thank you for your time in reading the question, and all of your work.”

Robb: And, details: age, height, weight, CrossFit-

Nicki: Mm-hmm (affirmative), sleep.

Robb: …decent sleep, and then he mentions some of his polymorphisms from the FoundMyFitness stuff. It’s interesting, there shouldn’t… if one is going to benefit from keto for a neurological situation. I don’t see that there would be any difference between kids and adults. It is, that said, it is interesting many children who go on a ketogenic diet for, say, epilepsy, they don’t need to stay on it for life. They’re able to get off of it at some point.

Nicki: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Robb: So, there is something that changes there. So, I don’t know if the flip side could apply, that maybe there was a window in childhood where this could have worked and now it’s not going to. That doesn’t really make sense to me, but it… yeah, I don’t know. But, definitely not everybody experiences cognitive improvement on a ketogenic diet. But, the lack of adequate electrolytes, in particular, sodium, is just jaw-dropping, make-or-break deal. So, if you were going to get back in and try this again, I would definitely check out LMNT, get, go… even if you just go to the drinkLMNT.com page, and then check out the How to Make Your Own Keto At Home Electrolyte Drink. One or the other, do that.

Nicki: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Robb: Start supplementing, if you do Kettle & Fire Bone Broth, put some salt in that, significant amount.

Nicki: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Robb: You really have to be on point with all that. You could also try using a little bit of MCTs or exogenous ketones in this scenario, because if we really are talking about a brain metabolism story, potentially some gut dysbiosis, those things may help in this whole process.

Robb: Additionally, on the supplements, a really rich form of DHA, EPA, DHA, but leaning heaving on the DHA, if you just eat a lot of fish. I’m wearing Wild Planet, these guys are amazing, getting fish from these guys or something similar. Sardines, mackerel, salmon-

Nicki: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Robb: …would be really beneficial, or you could supplement with a DHA-rich fish oil or krill oil formula.

Nicki: Okay.

Robb: Yeah.

Nicki: Thanks, Alex. Hubs, that was our five questions for this week.

Robb: Cool, cool. Somebody commented that they felt like we were rushed going through these, which I don’t know-

Nicki: Oh, I didn’t see that comment.

Robb: …that we’re rushed, but, yeah, it was a private message, compared to the Greg Everett days-

Nicki: Oh.

Robb: …where we would just wax on and on and on.

Nicki: You had no kids and no… (laughs)

Robb: We had no kids and, also… I try to be as thorough as I can, but also concise because people have a shortened attention span these days-

Nicki: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Robb: …and so, try not to wax on too long, but trying to strike a balance between being both thorough and concise.

Nicki: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Robb: So, there you have it.

Nicki: Yep.

Robb: Okay.

Nicki: Okay.

Robb: We’ll talk to y’all soon. Oh, thanks for the-

Nicki: No, no, no, no, no.

Robb: Oh, yeah.

Nicki: No, no, no, no, no, no. If you have questions, you can submit them, robbwolf.com contact page. What else?

Robb: Drink LMNT sponsored this podcast.

Nicki: Yep. Sponsored this LMNT

Robb: Drink Element, and even though we’re not-

Nicki: Coming into a summer, too, so, if you’re in a hot climate in particular, you’re going to want to be supplementing with electrolytes. If you’re active, and you were saying something-

Robb: And, love the Wild Planet guys. So, they’re a podcast sponsor this week, too. (laughs)

Nicki: (laughs)

Robb: They’re really amazing people. They… So, the back of this shirt says something like, “When you… would your tuna… How was your tuna caught? One line, one fish, one process.” They really are committed to sustainable fishing practices-

Nicki: Mm-hmm.

Robb: …and they’ve been beating this drum for a long time, so big shout out to the Wild Plant people. They’re wonderful folks doing some very cool work. In addition to the fish, they’re also doing some meat and chicken options-

Nicki: Oh, I didn’t know that.

Robb: …in like the vacu-seal packs and stuff like that, but they’re, like, organic and blessed by the Dalai Lama and all that stuff. But, really cool people, so, check out both of our sponsors, DrinkLMNT and also Wild Planet.

Nicki: Thanks, guys.

Robb: Take care. Buh-bye

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My TMNT Mario Paint Animation, a Retrospective – Mike Matei Blog

This is three lines drawn in Mario Paint at different speeds of strokes with the mouse.

The limitation of Mario Paint that’s probably the most regrettable is the dismal color selection. There are only 15 solid colors, and 15 extra colors which are the basic colors combined in various ways in a pixel checkerboard pattern.

There’s a reason why you don’t see actual pixel artists use patterns like this for coloring, because the results are usually hideous.

Unfortunately, an artist working within the restrictions of Mario Paint will have to use these extra colors sometimes, for better or worse. Outside of these 30, there’s also several pages of stuff that I rarely find a use for at all.

There’s no shortage of eye-melting color patterns to choose from, although these look better using the Spray tool.

This is due to the limitations of the hardware of the SNES. I’m not a programmer and I wasn’t able to find any detailed information on how Mario Paint’s code works, but here’s my best guess of what’s going on: The canvas area of Mario Paint is 248×168 pixels, which means it’s made up of 8×8 tiles, 31 horizontal and 21 vertical. The SNES has 16 colors to work with in each 8×8 tile, which means Mario Paint is using the maximum amount of colors the console can support (I’m guessing that one color has to be left unused for transparency, possibly to allow the cursor to hover over the drawing area). Also, the SNES can only display 34 of these tiles per horizontal row, so there’s 31 tiles for the canvas, 2 tiles for the border around the screen, and 1 left over that allows for the cursor.

Which means, as much as I lament the poor color choices, I can’t blame the creators of Mario Paint. They squeezed as much functionality out of Mario Paint as the hardware allowed. The checkerboard colors and blob patterns was the only way to extend the colors available. (By the way, if you’re knowledgeable about how Mario Paint or the SNES hardware works and anything I said is incorrect, let me know and I’ll edit this article with the correct information and give you credit).

The color limitations also played a big part in why I chose the TMNT opening. Mario Paint offers two solid shades of green, which would allow me to add shadows to the Turtles’ skin.

The character design of the Turtles just happened to work really well with Mario Paint’s colors, and I could get a bit more mileage out of light and shadow.

There’s also an undo history of exactly one action, which is offered to you by the dog icon. Saving and loading is limited and slow, the flood fill tool is slow (although it can be cancelled in the middle to partially fill things), and the animation function is limited to 4 drawable frames… I could go on and on about the limitations of Mario Paint, but I think you get the point.

So, as I just mentioned, Mario Paint has a pretty limited animation suite, so I used modern capture technology to simply capture frames when I completed them, and then edit them together later in video editing software. This could have been done in 1992 as well. I have friends who would use their VCR to record Mario Paint onto VHS and string them together to make elaborate animation projects, as well as other Nintendo art tools such as the GameBoy Camera placed into a Super Game Boy. VCRs connected to a camcorder could also be used to do stop motion animation with clay or toys, and even film individual frames of drawings to make animations.

This process was super nerve wracking, because each completed frame had to be discarded from existence entirely once I was done grabbing them. At least data storage is easy nowadays and I didn’t have to worry about someone in the house overwriting my animation in order to record an episode of Roseanne from the TV.

So, we come back to the concessions I talked about at the beginning. The original animated sequence for the TMNT show totals up to about 1200 individual frames of animation. So if I averaged about an hour per frame drawing in Mario Paint, and I worked 8 hours a day, that would mean I would reasonably get 8 frames done per day. Which means it would take 150 days of nonstop work to get the animation done, which would be okay if I didn’t also have a full time job and a social life that needs to be taken care of as well.

My animation ended up with about 420 frames total, and took me 6 months. So doing 1200 frames would have taken a year and a half, and who knows how much I would slow down from fatigue after a project that long. There were a couple times I could get a break, such as some frames just being a single solid color (such as lightning flashes), and I reused the swirling TMNT logo from the beginning for the end.

Hey, the original cartoon reused this animation, why can’t I?

I mentioned earlier that Mario Paint doesn’t offer any layer functionality, so this is a huge problem when animating moving characters over a background. As you can see in the above example, the background is constantly being destroyed by the turtles moving across the screen, and that destroyed information has to be rebulit when the portion of the background comes back into view.

Eagle-eyed readers will probably notice that this scene had to be animated out of sequence and then reassembled, which accounts for the way the background constantly changes shape.

Surprisingly, the shots you would think would be more difficult to do, such as Donatello flying around the city and the background moving around really fast, are about the same difficulty as the shot you see above, because of the lack of background layers. When the background is moving so quickly, redrawing the entire frame isn’t that much worse.

Oh who am I kidding, this was still painful.

Another issue came from the fact that I wasn’t going to use all 1200 frames from the original animation, so I had to pick and choose which frames to use. I was referring to a television off to the side drawing these individual frames, and I tried to pick out individual frames that would convey the most movement. This resulted in a bit of a discontinuity in the framerate, which had to be corrected manually when it came time to edit. This is why you see the framerate fluctuate often during the entire sequence. This is regrettable but… I dunno. Nobody has really complained about it, and if they did I’d just shrug and say Mario Paint isn’t the optimal tool to create animation. I did the best I could, you know?

Recreating an animation sequence in Mario Paint is so ridiculously transformative that it easily meets the requirements for Fair Use, so in order to keep my video from getting taken down, I was going to need a cover version of the music instead of using the original audio. Luckily I was able to get a great one by Epic Game Music that was tailored to match the timing of the video I animated. After that was done, it just needed some editing and it was completed.

So there you have it. How do I feel about this animation more than a year later? I’m glad I did it because it’s something nobody had ever done before. Doing something this elaborate with the drawing section of the game. Sure a lot of people have done a lot with the music portion, and there is a very small limit to what you can do with the in-game animation tool. But to animate something like this with the basic drawing tool, I’d say I did the most elaborate thing anyone ever attempted. If there’s anything else out there even close to as time consuming, I’d love to see it.

I think it was a really good personal exercise for me in diligence and determination. I’m glad that I managed to finish it. Starting a project like this and then abandoning it halfway would have been a gnawing regret I would have had to carry for the rest of my life. The end result wasn’t perfect, but it’s more important to me that I finished it.

“I may lose, but it won’t be because I gave up!”

As for economics… all told, I only made a couple hundred dollars off the video. I’d do the Pat-Math on how much my hourly wage was, but you can guess its low enough to be just about nothing. But hey, that’s the game we play being creatives. You never know what’s going to hit or miss, and you just have to keep consistently applying yourself until something hits. Whenever I get negative feelings about this animation, I have to remind myself that it was more than made up for with a lot of other successes that required far less effort. Not to mention I’m a Let’s Player and a streamer where I record myself playing art that other people made, and standing on the shoulders of giants to do so. I’m grateful for the wonderful life I have, and I hope you guys don’t get the impression that I made this post just to whinge about making cartoons in Mario Paint.

Animation is extraordinarily difficult, but we’re in a strange time where animation is easier to make than ever before, yet independent animators aren’t making the money they probably should. And yet… so many people still animate. There’s so much incredibly good animation being made by individuals on YouTube and all over the internet. Against overwhelming odds and minimal rewards, they still painstakingly download their imaginations into individual frames, one by one. I believe strongly that things will get better for animators in the future.

Just like Lion-o up there, they just need to keep running. Eventually something good will happen.

Source By: https://www.mikematei.com/blog/my-tmnt-mario-paint-animation-a-retrospective-mike-matei-blog/

Update:

Not long after I posted this article, which details my process of creating a full animated sequence in Mario Paint a year and a half ago, my animation was taken down from YouTube due to a copyright complaint.

From the very beginning, I was aware that my video could be taken down, so I purposely designed the video to be as transformative under Fair Use as I possibly could. Everything was manually drawn by hand using a reference offscreen. There’s no way to download images into Mario Paint, nor is there any way to trace anything, and the limitations of Mario Paint actually make it impossible to perfectly recreate the original (the article that follows will explain why in detail). And, a new cover version of the song was recorded specifically for this video. I was under the impression that I was so far ahead of what was required that I would be completely in the clear, and then some.

If the animation I made in Mario Paint doesn’t count as transformative, then I’m not sure what even does. What if I had recreated the intro using claymation? What if I had used actors in costumes? What if I just used a recording of me singing the theme song in the shower? Where is the actual line that got crossed?

I want to know what aspects of my video supposedly don’t qualify as Fair Use. Hopefully I can manage to get that question answered at least. I’m sure other creators could find the information useful as well.

Anyways, the video got reposted by someone already if you didn’t get a chance to watch it. It very well may get deleted again, so save it and if you want and share it on other video players and blogs so half a year of work isn’t tossed out a window forever..

See the video here:

https://www.vidlii.com/watch?v=PlV2cAO9kf1

https://www.bitchute.com/video/bfyvFFHA4Aw5/

Of all the art forms, animation seems to be the one affected by economics the most. Film is another big one for sure, but animation is such an incredibly manual, labor-intensive process that there’s a giant disconnect between creative vision and what can actually be reasonably produced, and what can reasonably make money. Since animators are painstakingly creating moving pictures frame by frame, simple creative decisions can multiply into hours, months or even years of extra work. Concessions always have to be made, and the work doesn’t always pay off.

In 2016, I used the Super Nintendo game Mario Paint to recreate the intro to the 80s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon opening. Here is the original video that was taken down. Use the links above to see the animation.

There were a lot of candidates to choose from (Thundercats, X-Men, Ducktales were also high on my list), but I chose TMNT because it seemed to be the most likely to reach a wide audience. I knew from the outset that this was going to be a big undertaking, and it took me roughly 6 months to complete.

The reasons to animate using Mario Paint are probably what you’d figure. Since I’m known as a commentator on retro video games, it was appropriate to use an art tool from a retro games console. There aren’t really many other choices that fit the bill, and there’s no way I could have used the LJN Video Art console to do it, being the completely useless art tool that it is that’s not even suitable for use by children. Also, there’s the element of the masochistic spectacle of one man going through the grueling process animating a full sequence working within such strange limitations. I thought people would be into it, and thankfully a good amount of people were.

Mario Paint was a wonderful toy for its time, and Nintendo was smart enough to add game elements, humor, and quirky flair to the experience instead of just making it a basic electronic art program. But as an art tool, the limitations are numerous. It’s very strange in that it’s essentially a tool to create pixel art, but offers extremely limited pixel precision (save for the pixel art stamps you can define, which weren’t suitable for my project).

The game came bundled with a mouse, but laser mouse technology didn’t exist in 1992. The Super Nintendo mouse used a rubber ball that rolled along the mousepad to manipulate rollers inside the unit to move the cursor onscreen. Everything grinds to a halt with this mouse if anything gets dirty, and the mouse is in a constant hurry to get as dirty as it possibly can. People reading this who grew up with Mario Paint will remember the cursor snagging over and over and the constant struggle to keep it clean. This was my life for 6 months.

As for other limitations, lines need to be drawn extremely slowly in Mario Paint, because moving the cursor too fast will result in dotted lines streaking across the screen. Not to mention every pen stroke overwrites the color underneath, as there is no layering functionality, so trying to build colored shapes with an outline requires a bit of planning in advance. In Mario Paint, I typically lay down color blobs and then add black outlines around them as the very last step, which is backwards from the way most people draw.

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This is three lines drawn in Mario Paint at different speeds of strokes with the mouse.

There’s a reason why you don’t see actual pixel artists use patterns like this for coloring because the results are usually hideous.

There’s no shortage of eye-melting color patterns to choose from, although these look better using the Spray tool.

This is due to the limitations of the hardware of the SNES. I’m not a programmer and I wasn’t able to find any detailed information on how Mario Paint’s code works, but here’s my best guess of what’s going on: The canvas area of Mario Paint is 248×168 pixels, which means it’s made up of 8×8 tiles, 31 horizontal and 21 vertical. The SNES has 16 colors to work within each 8×8 tile, which means Mario Paint is using the maximum amount of colors the console can support (I’m guessing that one color has to be left unused for transparency, possibly to allow the cursor to hover over the drawing area). Also, the SNES can only display 34 of these tiles per horizontal row, so there are 31 tiles for the canvas, 2 tiles for the border around the screen, and 1 left over that allows for the cursor.

Which means, as much as I lament the poor color choices, I can’t blame the creators of Mario Paint. They squeezed as much functionality out of Mario Paint as the hardware allowed. The checkerboard colors and blob patterns were the only way to extend the colors available. (By the way, if you’re knowledgeable about how Mario Paint or the SNES hardware works and anything I said is incorrect, let me know and I’ll edit this article with the correct information and give you credit).

The color limitations also played a big part in why I chose the TMNT opening. Mario Paint offers two solid shades of green, which would allow me to add shadows to the Turtles’ skin.

The character design of the Turtles just happened to work really well with Mario Paint’s colors, and I could get a bit more mileage out of light and shadow.

There’s also an undo history of exactly one action, which is offered to you by the dog icon. Saving and loading are limited and slow, the flood fill tool is slow (although it can be canceled in the middle to partially fill things), and the animation function is limited to 4 drawable frames… I could go on and on about the limitations of Mario Paint, but I think you get the point.

This process was super nerve-wracking because each completed frame had to be discarded from existence entirely once I was done grabbing them. At least data storage is easy nowadays and I didn’t have to worry about someone in the house overwriting my animation in order to record an episode of Roseanne from the TV.

So, we come back to the concessions I talked about at the beginning. The original animated sequence for the TMNT show totals up to about 1200 individual frames of animation. So if I averaged about an hour per frame drawing in Mario Paint, and I worked 8 hours a day, that would mean I would reasonably get 8 frames done per day. Which means it would take 150 days of nonstop work to get the animation done, which would be okay if I didn’t also have a full-time job and a social life that needs to be taken care of as well.

My animation ended up with about 420 frames total and took me 6 months. So doing 1200 frames would have taken a year and a half, and who knows how much I would slow down from fatigue after a project that long. There were a couple times I could get a break, such as some frames just being a single solid color (such as lightning flashes), and I reused the swirling TMNT logo from the beginning for the end.

Hey, the original cartoon reused this animation, why can’t I?

I mentioned earlier that Mario Paint doesn’t offer any layer functionality, so this is a huge problem when animating moving characters over a background. As you can see in the above example, the background is constantly being destroyed by the turtles moving across the screen, and that destroyed information has to be rebuilt when the portion of the background comes back into view.

Eagle-eyed readers will probably notice that this scene had to be animated out of sequence and then reassembled, which accounts for the way the background constantly changes shape.

Continue Reading: https://www.mikematei.com/blog/my-tmnt-mario-paint-animation-a-retrospective-mike-matei-blog/

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