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wqnwoos · 11 months

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on idiocy, bugs and the prospect of forever.

idiots 2 lovers & best friends to lovers / minor minor angst? bc oc is losing their mind / unnecessary use of bugs as plot progression (it will make sense i swear)

you and vernon have been dancing on the cusp of friendship and something more for too long now.

at least, that’s what you think. you’re not entirely sure what he thinks, given how quiet he can be sometimes. maybe you’re just misreading the whole situation! maybe your big fat crush on him is completely unrequited and he sees you as nothing more than a best friend! a best friend he likes to watch movies with and make soup for and brush hands with and look at for unnecessarily extensive periods of time!

which is exactly why you’ve been so — silent around him, lately. usually, you’re comfortable enough with him to babble his ear off about whatever you feel like. trains. worms. cats. the flaws in the schooling system which are leading to the collapse of true education. anything you want, you know vernon will listen. but these days, your weekly movie nights are starting to descend into quietude, as you become more and more flustered with trying to hide your feelings.

unfortunately for you, vernon is observant.

“okay,” he speaks suddenly — sudden enough to make you jump — pausing 20th century girl on screen. “enough,” he continues, turning on the sofa to face you. “talk to me.”

slowly, you blink at him. “about something in particular, or…?”

he frowns. “yes. about whatever’s been bothering you for the past… few weeks.”

ah. you bite down on your lower lip, immediately dropping his concerned gaze.

“you know, i tried to,like, give you space, because usually after a week or two, you just let it out. in your own time. but this just keeps going, so i’m asking you instead.”

heat is rising to your cheeks, creeping up your neck. you don’t know what to say. how do you tell him — i think i may be crushing on you harder than anyone has ever crushed before? you can’t.

“are you mad at me? did i do something?” vernon questions, his eyes going wider at the thought.

“no!” you splutter quickly, shaking your head for emphasis. “no. i’d tell you if i was mad at you.”

vernon nods then, and waits.

you look away. the open sincerity and concern in his pretty brown eyes is only making this harder — because all you want to do is fling your arms around his neck and kiss his face off. and you shall not let these thoughts win. you refuse!

your best friend sighs at your continued silence, and he scoots closer, so you guys are practically touching. “look at me,” he says softly.

despite your vows, you listen to him immediately, your eyes tentatively flickering up to meet his. you’re so close to him that you can feel the warmth radiating off his body — you can see the way each eyelash rests gently against his skin — the way his lips part ever so slightly.

a small sound escapes him, like his breath has gotten caught in his throat; just when you think he’s going to speak, his mouth closes, and he just… gazes. directly into your eyes — the most tender, heated gaze you have ever felt in your life.

you suck in a breath. “vernon —”

“just a sec,” he whispers, and one hand comes up to — ever so gently — brush against your face.

you jolt backwards, blinking fast and horrified. “oh my god. there’s a bug on my face, isn’t there?”

vernon startles at your sudden movement, barely registering your words, but you’re gasping and moving closer, with wide, pleading eyes. “vernon! get it off!” you demand, tipping your face in his direction.

when he doesn’t move, you grow increasingly frantic. “vernon! can you please — oh!”

and you cut yourself off with a noise of surprise; because vernon takes your face carefully between his hands, lips colliding with yours in a firm, bruising kiss — one that leaves you gasping with its intensity.

he pulls away too fast.

“shit,” he breathes, closing his eyes for a long second. “i didn’t mean to — well, i did, but — ” he pauses for a moment, and sighs. “god, you have no idea how long i’ve wanted to do that.”

then his eyelids flutter open — eyes wide, fixed on yours to gauge your reaction, hands slowly leaving your cheeks.

you, on the other hand, are gaping wordlessly at him. like a goldfish. the only thing you manage is a squeak — which may possibly be the most humiliating sound you’ve ever made.

just before his hands retreat fully, you grab them in yours, opening your mouth — before you pause. “there was no bug,” you say breathlessly.

vernon’s head tilts to the side, a slight smile tugging at his lips. “there was no bug,” he agrees.

“you were pulling a move.”

“i was, indeed, pulling a move.”

“okay,” you nod slowly, still breathless. “just… give me a moment here. i think i’m processing.”

his smile grows, his eyes soft and fond. “okay.”

your eyes fall on your interlaced hands, noticing how his thumbs gently caress your skin. “wow. wow. that was — that was good.”

“oh?” he raises a brow. “you liked?”

you nod a little too quickly. “are you kidding? i’ve wanted to kiss you for like, fifty billion years now!”

a snort escapes his mouth, and he squeezes your hands. “i can make up for that,” he promises softly.

the beam you give him in return is half your answer; the other half comes in the way you wrap your arms around him and pull him in for another kiss. this time softer, sweeter — slower. like forever is stretching out in front of you.

an / a bit of a longer one this time (sorry) !! they’re idiots and i love them. love u guys (and thanks for well over 200!! idk where you all are coming from but i love u 💗💕💞💓💘)

#vernon fluff #seventeen fluff #vernon x reader #seventeen x reader #seventeen fic #seventeen imagines #vernon comfort #vernon scenarios #vernon x y/n #vernon angst #seventeen fanfic #seventeen vernon #vernon fic #vernon fanfic

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kur0m1sblog · 11 months

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Hey! Could i request Hobie Brown that's trying to get with fem!reader, but she's nervous because she's never been in a relationship before?

Trepidatious.

summary: Hobart is one of your best friends, he suggests and asks for you to go on little dates and go out with him sometimes (all the time). when the two of you are sitting on the Brooklyn bridge he suddenly asks why you won’t in it’s on going out with him.

characters: Hobart Brown. Jessica Drew.

warnings: cussing. intimate touching. hobie being whipped for you. a little angst.

genre: fluff. romance. angst.

reader: fem! spider! reader

REQUEST ARE OPEN!

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Hobart Brown. You’d met him about a year or two ago.. he was one of your close friends. He was always near you, never wanted to leave you alone. He had this thing for you, a romantic type thing.

The first month of knowing him he’d ask you out to go get some treats from a bakery, but you politely declined and went on your way. He looked dumbfounded you remembered. From then on, he’d get flowers for you, treats and trinkets, he’s given you many of his guitar picks. All of them are placed in a trinket holder he’d also gotten for you.

Hobie always got you stuff, he was just sweet like that.

You sat at the cafeteria, some other spiders sitting around eating there lunch, while you were playing with your salad thinking about Brown. “So when are you going to finally get with him?” Jessica asks as she pulls a chair up, and lays her hands on her belly.

You look up, a little shocked from what she’d just asked. “I’m sorry what?” Blush spread across you face as you bit down on your lip, trying not to smile from the mention of his name.

She looks up, places her hands on the table, and leans forward to continue speaking. “I said, when are you finally going to get with him? I’m tired of hearing you’re name from his mouth constantly..” You blush slightly when you hear that he mentions you to her.

You get up and throw your salad away, and walk back to her, you’re thick heels click-n-clacking onto the ground and stop once you sit back down. “How fatuous of you to ask Drew, uhh, what made you think I was going to get with him.” You giggle out and bite your lip as you realize you kind of sounded like an asshole in that moment of time. “Uh anyways, not I’m not so comfortable with getting in a relationship right now..”

She raises an eyebrow. “And why is that now? Not your type, too clingy, annoying?” She asks picking off his flaws that seem to only specify to things he shows and does to you.

You wave your hands as she continued picking at him. “Wow wow, that’s not the case at all.. Hobie is my type it’s just, I’m nervous to get into a relationship.” Opening your water bottle, you chug it down, you’re throat had gotten dry from the topic. It felt much better to feel as sense of relief and the cold liquid made its way down your throat. You wipe your chin and look back at her, hoping she knew what you meant.

Eyebrows furrowed and raised slightly, she asked what you meant. “Wait I’m sorry, what do you mean?”

You sigh and tap your nails on the polished wood surface, “Okay to get to the point, I’ve never been in a relationship. That’s all, and I’m nervous to get into one with him because I do t know how it’s supposed to play out y’know?” You say searching understanding in her dark brown eyes.

Instead your greeted with her laughing hysterically and laying her head on the table as she continues her fit. Staring at her like she looks like she nuts, she laughs her words out. “So your saying you’ve never had a relationship?! That’s impossible, your attractive like out of this world attractive?! Do you see how many spider’s follow your body until you turn and corner and head to your destination.” She says as she stops laughing, realizing you were actually telling the truth. “Oh my god, you’re not lying are you…” She says looking equally shocked as you did second before.

You blink awkwardly, silence between the both of you. “So yeah psssh, anyways I gotta go now.” You say pushing you’re chair in and running down the lobby, “See you laterrrrr~” you drag out as you turn a corner and disappear.

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After you were finally done patrolling the city with Hob you both sat atop the Brooklyn Bridge, looking at the colors that were mixed in the sunset in front of you both. You’d place your hand on the structure as you both sat on the edge. It was comfortable silence, sometimes it was just like that between the two of you. Moment later he placed his hand on yours and finally asked you the question he’s been wanting to ask you.

He looks at you, the soft wind blowing as your hair sways back and forth in the air. “Y/N, why haven’t you gone out with me..?” He said staring at your hand that was placed under his.

Taken aback you looked at him, face a little flushed from the question. “Why I haven’t gone out with you..?” You say looking at him deep into the eyes, you saw that there was something hiding in there, his emotions. He nodded.

You took a deep breath and looked down at both of you’re feet dangling off of the tall bridge. “Well… look it’s not that I don’t like you back, I do Hobie, it’s just I’ve never been in a relationship.. and I’m nervous because I don’t know how they work and look I’m sorry.” You said, a wave of guilt flew past you as you finished.

He furrowed his eyebrows, “Love, why ya’ apologizing..? It’s fine Dear…” He said looking at you, he rubbed your knuckles and squeezed your palm in the process.

You looked up, he really was the one for you wasn’t he. You liked the way he understood and layed low on the subject. You kissed his cheek, and layed your head on his shoulder, wrapping his hand around your hip and pulling you closer, and you nuzzled more into his side.

You closed your eyes and looked at the sunset, hues of of purple and pink mixing together, dancing in the sky. “Thank you, Hobart.” You whispered, the both of you spent the rest of the night there until it was time for you both to go home.

It ended with him walking you to your apartment steps, you gently kissing him on the cheek, leaving a lipstick mark on him, and waving goodbye before saying your last piece to him, “Thank you for understanding Hobart, I’ll talk to you in the morning..” Closing the door, you had a sweet smile on your face, you were happy to have him to say the least..

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notes: Thank you for requesting, I actually enjoyed making this, have a great morning/afternoon/night!

June 7, 2023

10:30am

#fluffy #x reader #m x f #across the spiderverse #spider man: across the spider verse #spider man: across the spiderverse x reader #angst #Hobart brown #hobie brown #hobie brown x reader #hobart brown x reader #Hobart brown x fem reader #hobie brown x fem reader #hobie brown x you #Hobart brown x you

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scribiel · 1 month

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thank you is also a form of saying i love you

Jujutsu Kaisen! Suguru Geto x fem! reader tags: Suguru Geto x fem! reader, fluff, established relationship, mentions of insecurities (suguru's feeling a little insecure), written in first person (reader's) point of view

Suguru, when you told me, “I have flaws, it’s weird you know … to know that you are okay with that.”

I stopped folding my laundry and took a look at you. “We are human, Suguru. There’s no way we can be an all rounder, no sharp edges kind of thing, Suguru.”

You laughed; I heard the bitterness in the air. “I know, Love. But you understand that sometimes, even if it’s not possible, we want to be perfect for our loved ones?”

I nodded. “I understand, Suguru”—I looked up at the ceiling—”I remember you really loved the mirrorball at our senior prom.”

You answered, “I do recall.”

I shifted my gaze at you. “You said it was so beautiful.”

“I did. Indeed.”

“Mirrorball is a sphere-like object. It’s almost a round thing, but almost. It’s not smooth; it has sharp edges, but it’s beautiful. Whatever it reflects, it’s beautiful. It may not be a perfect thing, but to its surroundings, it’s beautiful.”

You stopped for a while, eyes widened a little, and then a chuckle slipped out and heard in the air. “You remember I love mirrorball. That’s so very sweet.”

And then, there was a wave of delightness washed over me. You smiled as you added, “I only love the mirrorball and thought it was pretty because I saw you in that dress, under the flashy light of mirrorball. You were looking for me. It was beautiful. You are beautiful.”

Suddenly, I felt like the air had escaped my lungs, I choked on my own saliva. Funny. But it caught me off guard. Oh Suguru, now you must know that. I can associate you with many beautiful things to ever exist on earth, but none of them can actually represent and match the beauty you bear; soul, physical, and mind.

Maybe because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but let me tell you something: that you are pretty like sunset. Not the bright sunset, but the soft orange that comes along with gray clouds. And I am only the surface of the sea; for what all I am, is only able to reflect the magnificent view of yours.

You and loving you feel so phenomenal.

Like the rain on a summer day; raindrops under the beaming golden sun. It’s captivating. And when with you, I never not want to dance in the rain. Spinning in my best dress. And later, the golden sunray is scattered from the raindrops, and then comes many colors. Rainbow. Sometimes more; it’s so colorful, that whenever I shift my gaze, the colors are there. All of them at once. Iridescent.

Like seeing roses bloom upon the cold white snow. It’s so distinct that no one on earth can question what lies before their eyes. No one on earth will question the love I have for you.

You were born in February, you are the beginning to the ending of the cold, harsh, and ruthless winter. You bring spring into my life. Melting my frozen heart. You are the beginning of spring. Then, as the ice melts, you can hear the river flowing; you can walk with a light coat with flowers and greens before your eyes; you can feel something so close to home, and then all you know is you are home.

Although I have put you on a pedestal, you put me on something higher, perhaps you put a present on my altar, perhaps you think of me as something so deity when you say, “But you are more beautiful. No, let me correct that”—you make your way to me, putting your arms around my body; making me feel so many things, but the only thing that comes up in my head is home, because I am home, somewhere safe and sound—”you are the most beautiful thing. And I could never thank you enough. So, Love, thank you.”

I kiss your cheek gently, then whisper into your ear, “I love you too.”

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen fanfiction #Suguru geto #geto suguru #geto fluff #just loving suguru #suguru geto x reader #geto suguru x reader #geto x reader #fluff

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forgeofthenine · 5 months

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Okay, needed to share this thought with another Dammon appreciator.

Imagine Dammon not quite knowing how to express his feelings for Tav once he has to admit he has them. Like he can’t just come out and say it. It feels too wrong coming from him when compared to everyone else it could be coming from around them.

So he gives a generous discount, he helps Karlach (though he’d’ve done that anyway. If not for doing the right thing to help someone then to feel the pull of the infernal metal again. He misses the power and how dangerous and unwieldy it was and that’s just another reason those words can’t come from him.) He pilfers away damaged pieces of armor once Tav is asleep and repairs them, always placing them back in the pile before he heads to his own bed in the forge. He doesn’t know if anyone sees him but no one ever stops him. One day a piece of the armor can’t be repaired and so he makes something better. Something that won’t break. (Something to keep Tav safe while the rest of the world is being saved.)

And Tav. Tav cares. Tav admires. (Tav wants but has to lead, so Tav marches on) Always quietly relived when the group gets to the Last Light at the end of the days information gathering and planning and everyone is still there. Eyes glancing over to the warmly glowing forge and catching on the relentlessly determined (handsome) tiefling working there.

But Tav is also tired, they all are but at the end of the line all the decisions are on Tav and that weight isn’t insignificant.

This fight was particularly brutal and it shows in the weight of the party as they trudge to their tents. Tav starts to take their armor off at the end of the night and it’s different. Looks down and sees gleaming metal, armor that just by its looks is obviously more lovingly and well crafted than anything else they have on. Who looks over at the still glowing forge in the glow of the moon shield and follows their feet over that way.

Who just looks at Dammon as they stand there dumbly, half in and half out of armor. Who just stares at him as he turns to see who wandered in. Who has the armor in question their hand as they walk over to him slowly and now Dammon is panicking. Are they mad? (They aren’t.) Was the original piece special to them? (it wasn’t.) And while he’s panicking Tav has gotten within a few feet of him and stopped suddenly (Their brain finally caught up to their feet) and when he looks up they look so confused and maybe a bit hopeful? And before he can say anything they’re looking down at the armor in their hands (the armor he made for them) and he wonders idly when the last time someone protected Tav instead of being shielded by them was. And before he knows it, that thought has propelled him to right in front of them and he’s tentatively pulling them into his chest and holding them tight when they sink into his arms, tail wrapping around their leg down to the ankle and he’ll do everything he can to make sure no one takes them from him (ever) .

(I’m pulling a bit from the Dammon Flaws post earlier because it resonated with something in my Tav)

I'm sorry anon, I definitely sat on this for a couple days. That was mostly because I post my inbox replies right when I wake up and I feel like this deserved a slightly less sleepy me 😅

I honestly love this so much, just sneaky Dammon trying to do whatever he can for Tav, to make their life a bit easier. All of it culminating in a sweet hug in his forge when they finally realise the extent he's gone to. Honestly I can absolutely see him doing these things, and telling himself they aren't anything special, and that they have many more options than just him. He just really needs a kiss to quieten down his thoughts a little bit.

Thank you for sending this in, I love it so much and I'd love to hear more of your stuff sometime ♥️

#bri rambles #bri answers #bg3 dammon #dammon x reader

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mayullla · 1 year

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Title: A new house, a new home.

Character(s): Haunted house ghost (original work / unnamed character)

Summary: You wanted to be alone away from your problems, buying an old rustic house you thought that in a sense this could be a new beginning. You didn't listen to the warning signals, you didn't release the house had a life of its own.

Warnings/tags: General yandere themes, fem!reader, near-death experience for reader (accidental), horror elements

You were not sure how it happened... but really was already to late by the time you realized.

All you wanted was time for yourself, time away from family and friends, alone and far away from the troubles and pains that plagued you. You found a home far away, old almost antique and dreary. But it was cheap, the reason why you choose to sign the papers as quickly as possible without thinking why it was so cheap thinking that you were nothing but lucky.

It had flaws sure, when you looked at it, many things were in need of repair or just replaced but you knew that you could work with it and bring the house while not new but in a better state than it once was.

So you did. You bought the house that the past owner was suspicious all too delighted to be gone from his hands. You didn't seem to care much, maybe you thought that he was just an eccentric old man and walked into your new home that needed so much renovating.

You were ready.

Ready for a new life, and a new start. That was all you wish after all… but not like this.

It was normal at first sure you thought that you heard some weird sounds occasionally, sounds of something climbing within the walls, or the doors closing by themselves or knocking on the floor. But you thought that was just some random rat or small animal crawling into the hollow grasp of the walls or the wind shutting the door.

You wanted to change the color of the walls, the wallpaper already yellowed from old age had to go. You bought a few paints and wallpaper expecting that you had enough, but it seems that you didn't have enough pain not having expected to paint the walls three times instead of two coats.

You thought you needed to go to the shop again tomorrow finding it too late to go back now.

When you saw paint cans on right by the door the next day, a little old and dusty it did freak you out a bit as you looked around. You were definitely sure you didn't buy this, you looked around the garden but nobody was there maybe this paint was already in the house but the person had forgotten to give them last time and brought them here.

You ignored the nagging feeling and stapping on your gloves and wearing a mask you started to remove the old wallpaper on the wall planning on starting the wallpaper process.

Sometimes you swore that the house moved as if the walls were breathing… Maybe it was your eyes playing tricks on you, you weren't sure maybe you hallucinating.

Sometimes you felt the room suddenly grow cold sometimes you felt cold wind pass you even when you were inside your room and no windows were opened.

Sometimes it feels like it was going through you, sometimes it grabbed you out of nowhere, it felt like ice grabbed you that often you would yelp in surprise. But as soon as you acknowledge it the cold would disappear as if it was never there to begin with.

You walked out to your porch when the delivery man arrived with your new utensil and kitchen wear that you ordered on the internet. Thanking the man you went back home, you didn't close the door properly having your hands full you were really able to with your foot only but when the door close unexpectedly, you just smiled thinking that you were able to close the door by yourself.

Taking a cutter you cut the tape to open the box, seeing the utensils you headed to the sink to wash them up. Take the knives and spatulas and such out from the box as you washed them. It was after that when you were drying them when you started to wipe the cooking knives you wondered where you put that knife holder that came in a separate mail a few days ago.

Looking around you finally found the knife holder on the top shelf, where you placed it there due to too many things littered on your table at that time. You smiled as you reached to grab it, you were just barely tall enough to reach the holder from the shelf as you dragged it towards you, you might have been a bit excited or in hurry, and not really careful when it tilted and flopped to the side.

Your eyes widen when you saw a knife, a knife that you brought with you from your old home fall off the knife holder, clattering on the shelf, and then falling towards you. You watched as the blade looked straight at you, towards your face.

You should have moved, yet you weren't able to so frozen in place as fear and panic started to choke you.

Time moved too slowly, yet you were able to do anything all but squeeze your eyes shut, waiting for it to stab you most likely in your face. You waited to feel pain spread on your face and however...

Instead of pain, instead of a sharp pain a loud metal crashing sound made you flinch. You hesitantly opened your eyes to see the knife nowhere near you and when you hesitantly looked to your side where the sound came from far away near the fridge was that same knife. Far away as if it was swatted away before it could hit your face and it instead hit the wall right beside the fridge. Unable to stand straight, you slowly fall to the floor taking deep breaths.

Unable to comprehend what happened, only to shiver when something cold touched your face but soon gone almost immediately. Something was here and you can only hope that everything was a dream.

Your eyes shone when you saw your house coming together over the past month or two, cleaning to the wallpaper and flooring, replacing the furniture that can't be fixed, and more decorations to make the place more homely.

There were moments when you found the house creepy but you thought that it was just your mind playing tricks on you. You were happy to call this place home.... maybe...

You don't know when it started probably a little after the knife incident when your blanket became heavier as if trapping you. It may have been comforting at one point but now it was now too heavy and too suffocating as if it wanted to hold you down unable to move, unable to leave.

It wasn't only that either, you wondered why the doors were heavier as if rusty when you already swapped them for band new hinges, how sometimes it was impossible to open the window as if they were locked when they weren't. How it takes longer to get from one room to another as if they were stretched yet you couldn't see the illusion..

It was strange how you could see food in the fridge when you thought that you have already eaten your leftovers and prepared to head out of the market to buy some groceries or how the mailman never rang the doorbell anymore as you would only see your mail later on the side of your door, or maybe he does…

Yet when you opened the door he wasn't there and your package on the floor right in front of you. It was weird yet you didn't know what to do, your mind was frazzled and confused if not a bit suspicious but you didn't have any proof when you took another glance… nothing was out of place.

How the clothes that used to fit you comfortably, started to tighten as if holding you. How you felt someone's hand touching you when you watched tv. How you felt something was hugging you even tho you were alone. How you started to hear louder creeks in the house or voices too static to understand. You never felt you were ever alone that someone was watching you, that they were in the same room as you.

You couldn't see them, yet you felt their eyes were everywhere. All trained on you.

It was too sudden really when everything suddenly moved when you least expected it, the click of the door locking you from the outside. How each room’s window that you let the windows open for air circulation was suddenly shut all at once with a loud bang and locked.

You tied to pry them open, force them open to get out, but nothing budged, not even the chair that you tried to carry or the vase that you wanted to carry as toss to the window would move almost as if anything that was meant to harm the house your so painstakingly repaired was not allowed to happen. As if it would not give you a way to escape this place.

And for the first time, you felt cold arms wrap around you, unlike the last that would disappear soon after these cold hands stayed.

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museofthepyre · 4 months

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do you know what everyones problem with elijah is? Im new to to fandom and im so genuinly confused as to why people seem to like think elijah is the worst (as in evil) character in the series. like i dont think people find him poorly written, they just, dont like him? which is fine yknow like who you like, but then people act like jedediah is a flawed but good character? which confused me a lot since I actually dislike jedediah more, as he just hurts in a more personal way it feels like. Elijah was sweeping Sydney in with promises of love that he hadnt gotten from jedediah, sydney only accepted that because of the way jedediah had been shunning him for years. It really bothers me that people forgive jedediah for his bad behavior, but then crucify elijah for behavior that while yes was very bad, had been hurting syndey way less for way shorter, and the only reason sydney was that vulnerable was because of jedidiah. Im asking because i am genuinly confused and I cant find anyone talking about the why of disliking elijah, i dont know if im missing something because of personal bias (jedidiahs mistakes that hurt sydney hit much closer to home than elijahs) sorry if this is a bit rambly, Im just very disenheartened to see so many people say they hate elijah when I just dont understand why, you dont need to answer this ask btw its mainly just curiousity

I think you kind of touched on the answer a bit already- imo it definitely comes down to what hits closer to home for any given listener. We all have unconscious biases. We all consume media through the lens of our own life experiences, and… ok ramble incoming

Elijah and Jedidiah both think/ behave in ways that are profoundly human, they represent very real concepts (see my whole Jedidiah= unhealthily distant, withdrawn and cold attachment style, and Elijah= unhealthily obsessive, suffocating and intense attachment style rant). These aren’t your typical innately evil villains, they’re just unhealthy people with warped ideas of love. That is an all too common thing to see irl. I think because of that… many of us can relate one or both of them to people we‘ve known in our own lives… alternatively, we can relate them to ourselves. I’ve heard some people say that Elijah’s actions hit a nerve because of past traumas with toxic relationships… aaand I’ve heard people say the exact same thing about Jedidiah! I think Elijah receives more scrutiny because his actions were… well they were actions. Visible, overt, right in front of you. You can point at them, pick a line from the transcript and say “that right there is bad”. Jedidiah’s wrongs often came in the form of neglect and abandonment, an absence of action, that’s so much harder to pinpoint. Maybe he’s slipping under people’s radars? Maybe more people see themselves in him and have a sense of understanding (which is valid, he embodies some very relatable neurodivergent struggles). Maybe it’s because he steps up and works on himself by the end and we don’t see that from Elijah (yet). Maybe people find Elijah “worse” because he reminds them of a more common negative experience, I’m not sure. One could speculate.

I’ll speak personally as an example of what I mean: I am wayyyyyyy more upset by Jedidiah’s actions. And that’s because of… you guessed it… my own personal experiences and how they influence my perception 🎉🎉🎉 I’ve got BPD, and I have an all consuming fear of abandonment. The idea of loving somebody and then having them suddenly withdraw, avoid you, and treat you coldly all the while providing NO EXPLAINATION WHATSOEVER… just leaving you to spiral and pick apart your own behaviours under a microscope, thinking you must be the problem— it’s a major trigger of mine. I’ve lived it!!! I grew up with it!!!!! It hits a huge sore spot for me and I admittedly struggle to overlook that sometimes when I see him.

Conversely, Elijah… I unfortunately connect with in a much deeper way. My own default attachment style is obsessive, intense, and often leaves me tunnel-visioned and unstable (…BPD), and he speaks a language I understand? If that makes sense. I see so much untreated, pre-awareness me in him. I know what it is to be involuntarily engulfed by an all-consuming obsession/ delusion. He doesn’t scare me, because I know what he’s made of- I see what’s beneath it all when I look in the mirror. Or at least that’s the lens through which I interpret him, I’m sure many disagree and yk what? Absolutely valid!!!!

There’s no one correct way to consume media, yada yada you get the idea, CHNT is unique because no character is intentionally malicious or evil (not counting Adam maybe… Lucille you’re on thin ice) and it’s fascinating how there’s such a dichotomy between the love and hate for these two. I may have swayed a bit off topic I just have many thoughts. I might come back with more later.

Ok rant over 🪱

#ramblings #camp here & there #ch&t #camp here and there #chnt #elijah volkov #jedidiah a a martin #jedidiah martin #sydney sargent #sydney o sargent #pink elephant man #the elephant man #the elephant man chnt

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antianakin · 5 months

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what are your opinions on the sequels? specifically how luke (and his new jedi order) is portrayed. but also like just the jedi stuff in general, the training and everyone becoming force ghosts and somehow palpatine

Oh gosh, it has been a MINUTE since I've even watched the Sequels. I'm planning on rewatching them sometime early next year for Reasons, but for both episodes 8 and 9, it'll be the first time I've seen them since I saw them in the theaters. I MIGHT have seen episode 7 after its theater release, but not often. I can definitely say I haven't watched a single one of them since 2019 lol.

All of that to say, I don't remember them super well. I liked episode 7, but didn't care AT ALL for TLJ and was ho hum on TROS. My overall opinion is that it's too bad these characters didn't have anyone writing for them who seemed to actually CARE about them at any point and that nobody bothered to create a fucking blueprint for the entire trilogy and then stick to it. Say what you will about the execution of the Prequels, but Lucas had a damn vision in mind and a clear end goal for the story and the characters and he STUCK TO IT. You can go back to those films and rewatch them and find that story and see the arc he was trying to take the characters on. You may not LIKE what he chose to do or feel like it worked very well, but it's clearly THERE. The same cannot be said for the Sequels. The characters change personalities in basically every film, the primary motivations and intended end goals for them are never consistent, the relationships aren't built up well, and the theme and message of the Sequels is so muddied with all of these changes that they may as well not exist.

All of that is very broad, though, and doesn't touch much on your specific question about the Jedi and Luke and how they were portrayed in the Sequels. To be honest, I don't remember it very well, and when I saw these films, I was a pretty casual Star Wars fan who was still what I would now consider Jedi critical. I didn't hate them by any means, but I had absorbed the fandom osmosis of the Jedi having been too repressive/old-fashioned and how they caused their own doom. So I haven't watched them from a more pro Jedi lens yet in order to comment on it with any level of authority.

What I DO remember feeling was that making Luke bitter was a bad choice. There's undoing a character a little in order to allow them to develop somewhere, and then there's complete and utter character assassination and TLJ's characterization of Luke falls closer to the latter for me. The biggest thing anyone remembers about Luke is that he chose not to kill Anakin in ROTJ. That's his big climactic triumph. He goes on an entire journey towards understanding Anakin and having to accept that Anakin was a person making evil choices so that he could believe in Anakin's ability to be BETTER. That's kind-of the core of Luke's WHOLE JOURNEY. So I don't really get the entire concept of Luke reacting so violently to "feeling some darkness" in his teenaged nephew. He's already sort-of worked through that particular flaw of his and overcome it, why is he suddenly reacting this way? What's the point of that? And why would Luke just completely lose himself to cynicism and bitterness in the aftermath of that kind of failure? What was the point of leaving a piece of map behind or whatever? None of it really seems to make any sense to me and you can just FEEL Rian Johnson sort-of tossing things in the trash as he wrote this so that he could do his own thing.

All of that being said, what I've seen other people comment on is that there's a lot of shit Luke says in TLJ that are pretty anti-Jedi, but that the whole point is that Luke is wrong. Luke is succumbing to despair and so he feels like he's defeated and there's no point to anything and he's WRONG. The movie does pretty strongly emphasize that he's WRONG to feel this way and act like this. So I think a lot of people take what Luke says in this film sort-of at face value without taking into account that context that you're not SUPPOSED to agree with him any more than Rey does. I'm interested to see how I feel about it when I do end up rewatching them in a few months, but it rings relatively true to what I can remember.

It doesn't seem wrong that Luke and Leia could end up being able to ghost, it doesn't make any sense that Han can ghost but we all know that that happened specifically because Carrie Fisher died mid-filming and they had to figure out how to work around that, so I'm willing to give a little bit of slack to TROS for that exact reason.

I don't remember much training even HAPPENING on screen. I remember Luke barely teaching Rey anything at all in the one week she spends with him and Leia sending Rey on an obstacle course at the beginning of TROS. I wish they'd chosen to spend more time really showcasing more of Rey's actual training (or, ya know, FINN training in Force abilities at all), but I don't have any strong feelings about it at this point.

And as for Palpatine, I think everybody knows it was a bad choice to make at this point. It was lazy, it was silly, and it doesn't work. It feels like a direct response to Snoke having been killed off too early and disagreements between the directors and the studio execs about whether Kylo Ren should be a villain or not. It doesn't work and nobody likes it.

So, yeah, my feelings are a little faded at this point because I disliked them enough that when I do my Star Wars marathons, I never include the Sequels in it and I just stop at ROTJ. I feel like that says enough on its own.

#star wars #star wars sequel trilogy

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akiranzee · 22 days

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Hi there! Can I request Akaza x Fem! Demon Slayer?

When Y/N sees Rengoku fighting an upper class demon she heads over to help him and when Akaza sees Y/N, she reminded him of his past deceased wife, Koyuki. Also when Y/N rejects Akaza’s offer of becoming a demon, Akaza ends up winning the fight against Y/N and kidnaps her.

Thank you!!!!!!<333

❤️‍🩹 • ° ` — “LOVE? IS THIS?”

-> PAIRINGS: Akaza x f!Demon Slayer!Y/n -> SUMMARY: Love could sometimes go wrong. -> WORD COUNT: 1.4k+ -> CONTAINS: angst (?), stockholm syndrome, kidnapping, mentions of blood, akaza is ooc!, rengoku’s alive, violence, kissing, dead person, fighting, swearing, & akaza is 200 while reader is 27. -> A/N: HI THERE!! IM RLLY SORRY FOR NOT DOING UR REQUEST FOR SUCH A LONG PERIOD OF TIME😭😭. i saw ur request abt this again it made me feel guilty

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------------Complete!------------

Running toward the sounds, voices, and clashing of swords, as you reached the mugen train, was the first thing you ever did.

You just so happened to be in the mugen train station, after all.

As you reached the distant forest, you happen to see multiple familiar faces, mainly; Tanjiro, Zenitsu, Inosuke, and Nezuko.

The bright burning fire that lit in front of all of you only hinted you that, Rengoku was fighting a demon. Not just any demon, but one of the higher ranking ones.

You wanted to back him up, but you can’t see a hole to insert into. It all happened so fast, the fire, the clashes, all hindered your plan of saving Rengoku.

When Tanjiro pleaded you to save Rengoku, you thought of the worst thing that could happen; you’d be too late to do so.

But Rengoku was your close comrade, one that you could only consider tolerable in all of the hashiras. Rengoku was always there to comfort you, protect you, or save you wherever you were. He was like a big brother you never had.

That’s why, you’ll never allow such a thing to happen to him.

A fog covered the surroundings, one that your breathing technique had mastered, completely putting an end at the endless fight Rengoku and the demon had.

As your sword neared the demon’s neck, a bright flash hovered over your eyes, causing a great wonder in your mind. Suddenly, as your eyes dolted open, you wondered where your sword went, hoping the demon didn’t catch it.

But alas, it was in his hand. You signaled Rengoku to do something, perhaps to ambush, but he was too weak and is clutching his side already. He wanted to, but his body wanted and needed to rest.

However, Akaza’s eyes sparked and lit up when he saw your sword’s feature, perhaps because of the small snowflakes attached to the rain-guard of the sword, one that he does not usually see in other slayers, and one that is too familiar, its grip too is a royal yellow, whilst its body is none but a mesmerizing pink. It seemed to have reminded him of something, but beknownst, he is a demon after all, one who could not recollect any of his memories of the past.

But, his eyes lit up brighter, and widened bigger, when he saw your face. Ah, he remembers now, but only vaguely. The pink silk you are wearing — embroidered by beautiful snowflakes on the bottom of your kimono, having a unique hairstyle, that he can not even guess if your hair is to be presumed as long, or short. Then, a snowflake hairpin that matches just about you and your sword, and a royal yellow comb that keeps your bangs up.

Simply put — everything about you reminds him of a certain someone. I would have already flawed honesty if I were to tell you that his jaw did not drop even the slightest. Even the spectators had shocked themselves to what they have witnessed — a demon hesitating to kill someone.

Then, Akaza suddenly chuckled, his laughter echoing through the battleground, as he saw the undying determination burning in your eyes. “Ah... how would you say becoming a demon, hmm? Your efforts would not go to waste unlike this one.” You frowned at that, ready to prove him wrong, “no! All you demons are selfishly unkind, I would never be a part of your kin!”

You quit looking at his eyes, that gave away half of all the emotions he has been keeping, and looked at your sword in his grip instead. As you tried to think of all the realistic, and unrealistic ways to steal your sword from his grasp, all were put to vain as he so easily let go of your sword and threw it right in front of you. You swear you could hear him click his tongue, as he then said, “fine. Have it your way.” He beckoned you to come closer — to charge right at him, his once sinister and obnoxious smile is not found again, rather, a gentle, teasing, and playful smile had been replaced.

You would be lying if you didn’t find him handsome for a few moments there, but it is already perceived as a sin to even compliment a demon.

Lest to say, that all the damage you have dealt taking over Rengoku’s place and fighting in his stead nonstop was not from the demon, but fall damage you had impacted on yourself.

He truly was one unpredictable demon — he had his own way of thinking through things, maybe even smarter than you are — but not once, did he try advancing and taking advantage when you fall over and your guard lower when doing so.

It seems as if he is enjoying this little encounter way too much, that confusion has arisen amongst the spectators and witnesses, especially Tanjiro, Rengoku, and the others.

His soft laughter ringing in your ears was a nice melody, his gentle smile shining in front of you, and his tender hands touching you physically whenever he had the chance. But all of those were soft and gentle, making you have second thoughts if he was really the demon you were up against just minutes ago.

It had made your heart swirl, had made your stomach churn, had made you feel as if this was not a fight at all.

But, in the end, he won. You had stumbled on your ass once again, but this time, it hurt really bad for you had a hard time standing up.

But, this encounter is nearly ending, as the sun is setting. You took note of that, and felt quite a pang when you were about to kill him; or if he would run away once noticing it. But a demon slayer and a demon can never be together.

That’s why, as your role in this world, you jumped on a high tree and charged at him, having wished it would be the last, and final time, as you closed your eyes, hoping for your victory.

But no — it all happened so fast, as you felt the heat of the sun radiate toward you, a strong, muscular arm had wrapped around your waist, as the winds have lost control and slithered their cold on every single part of you.

Slowly, you opened your eyes only to see that the place you had battled on was far away, as it shrunk smaller and smaller on your vision, as you felt the winds were up against you, its strong current had made your hair fly to places, even when the royal yellow comb was still held intact on your hair. Yet, not once has something wavered.

You still felt the running, and the tight grip an arm has around your waist, you turned to look back, and see who had captured you, but Tanjiro called out suddenly, “AKAZAAA!!! You coward! Hand Y/n back to us!!!” Then, he threw his sword on Akaza’s leg, making him stumble, but he still stood up and continued to run, until you could no longer see Tanjiro, the battlefield, and your sword that is left alone, stabbed to the ground.

For some reason, you had felt dizzy, your mind swirling hazily, as your vision blurred, while letting Akaza only take you away to wherever, as darkness followed and consumed the both of you, to the dark forest.

~~~~~

The hazy feeling was still around, but slowly it died out. As you slowly opened your eyes, it had caused your mind to swirl and hurt once more, but it cleared out as you see the darkness in front of you.

You slowly stood up and looked around, only to find out you were laying on a soft mattress laid down on the floor, the only light within the dark room is the flickering bulb.

As you reached out for the door, someone had already opened it — Akaza. It took you by shock, but you had already caught on that he was your captor. Although, you really didn’t expect him to look so... tired.

He had sweat amongst his forehead, dripping to his jaw, neck, and body... Ah shit, he was completely half naked.

Flustered, you turned away, “What- where did you take me?” clearing your throat, as you tried to start a topic.

“Somewhere.” Nonchalantly, he answered as he dragged you towards the soft mattress, causing you to fall on your ass, but this time, it didn’t hurt as much, as afterall, the mattress is soft enough.

“You are not to leave this room, ever.” Chills ran down your spine as he pointed and glared at you, his pale blue eyes glowing within the dark room.

But that didn’t stop you.

“What? Why not...? I-If you think I am afraid because I have no sword, then you’re dead wrong.” On a fighting stance you stood, but shivers and quivers have failed you. You were nothing more than food to him without your sword, after all.

Akaza merely chuckled, his fangs brightly present as the light rested on his face, slightly flickering.

It had feared you, but it was obvious he could not do such a thing such as to harm you.

“Are you sure? I’m impressed by your bravery, but your face gives it all away.. how cute..” He laughed more, but confusions had only filled your mind.

“You are to stay here forever, with me, because you are meant to be mine.” Akaza’s playful smile had turned into a serious frown, “you were always meant to be mine, Y/n. No matter what life this may be, but you had always been mine.”

“What... do you mean?” It had left you with nothing but a gaped mouth.

“Koyuki... I know that it is you.” Akaza smiled gently, and caressed your cheek.

Suddenly though, you slapped his hand away, “you’re crazy!”

“...Call me that, but I do not care. You are mine, you are my Koyuki.” Fear had flowed through your veins as he kept repeating the same, unknown name again and again.

“Who... the fuck is Koyuki?” You backed away, enough to prepare to defend yourself for any upcoming blow.

“My wife. My darling. You.” Akaza continued to speak in riddles, but you had probably solved it.

Ah... this demon had a wife when he was human, huh? But... how? How could he have remembered it? How could he have remembered who his wife was, or his memories of her, that led him to think you and his wife were the same person?

“I... I am not this Koyuki nor wife you think of...” You hesitated unknowingly for a bit, but Akaza cut you off, “No! You are her! I know it! You have the same hair, the same face, the same smile, the same eyes, the same voice — the same warmth that I could all remember! You can’t just tell me you aren’t her!”

God, he was desperate. A demon who had longed for a human, is it now? You stopped and remained frozen for a moment, knowing and perhaps understanding how he had felt after long, painful years of unknowing yearning.

Perhaps it was because you felt sorry for him, that he had to be taken away from his humane life, that he had turned into this frightening, man-eating demon. Or perhaps it was because of the sadness that filled his voice? The sadness that he didn’t even know he was long hiding. Or could it be because... of the tears that had wetted his cheeks, that had dripped and flowed down, that had revealed his entire and pure being?

To be honest, you felt sorry. Really sorry. Because you were too, no stranger to the emotion called sadness. You had felt it again and again, as if an unstoppable loop. Pity had filled and won over you. But he was an enemy, more so — he can kill you anytime, maybe even now.

Trust, a fragile thing to ever exist. But what has this life led to? Wasn’t it just the same as demons? Continuous killing and surviving, yet the only difference is one saves, and one harms. You only live to wake up and continue killing these demons anyway, and your seek of revenge against the demon king is merely impossible. So what difference would it make in your life to fill the heart of the human still remaining within this demon for centuries old?

Akaza had already fallen, bent down to the ground helplessly crying. Ah... perhaps he had been reminded again, of the gruesome figure he had to witness.

Pain and pity completely filled you, as you cupped his cheeks, “I will stay with you.”

★ • ° ` — BONUS:

“Wait- don’t- I promise I won’t do it anymore-! AAAAAHHH!!!” Tears and yells of horror had filled the dark room, as blood had flowed out of the now lifeless body.

“Akaza, you eat so... messy.” You looked away from the scene, as Akaza only chuckled and stood up, “I think this one’s enough to fill me up for a whole week.” licking his lips and fingers, as he walked towards you.

“A- no! Don‘t even-!” You backed away as Akaza continued to walk to you with open arms, with a playful grin in his face.

God, fuck. His slimy and sticky arms wrap around you, his hug icky but warm.

“I missed you. Where’ve you been?” His wet, sticky, bloody lips attached itself to your scalp as your face filled with terror and disgust.

“A- ew ew EW EW EW!!!” You pushed him off as his loud laughter had filled the dark room and your ears, musing over your squirming.

As the laughter died out, he wiped his hand on some cloth laying around, and grabbed your hands to help you up. “Let’s take a bath, hmm?”

~~~~~

“Akaza you big shit.” Dread filled your face as he splashed soap-filled water on your face, as he only laughed and laughed. The wooden hot tub was shaking from how much Akaza was moving too much, probably because you decided to splash some back at him.

As the laughter died out, his now clean lips had attached itself to yours, completely hovering your soft, plush ones.

It had taken you aback for a second, but you returned his soft, gentle affection. Although, you can’t help but wonder.. is this alright?

Having fun and affectionate with a demon.. no more or less the enemy of mankind, and you are a human. Would it be okay to say that you’re content and satisfied with this life than the life you had lived on before? Where you kill evil humans and feed them to him? Or the life in which you kill demons and help mankind, whether bad or good?

This was a forbidden romance, and no one can change it, not even if the world stops turning.

You pulled away from the kiss, the so little humanity in you questioned you once more, if should you really be having fun with a demon, the so very kind of those that had killed the beloveds of your comrades.

“I love you, Koyu- Y/n.” After all, he sees you as no more than the deceased wife he had always, and forever loved.

#📂 — ` akira’s works!#kny #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #angst #akaza #akaza kny #kny akaza #akaza demon slayer #demon slayer akaza #akaza kimetsu no yaiba #kimetsu no yaiba akaza #akaza x you #akaza x y/n #akaza x reader

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akutasoda · 8 months

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Hello! can i request a Kunikida x reader where they both argue because reader ruined kunikida's schedule? To be more specific:

Reader wasn't feeling well with themselves (selfsteem problems) and canceled a date they had with kunikida and then kunikida gets mad and start an arguement. Angst amd reader crying bc felt guilty & having a breakdown (anxiety) included🙏🙏

im not fine

synopsis - anxiety is not nice and it gets in the way of some things, but thats okay! its just your lover acted a bit irrationally

includes - kunikida

warnings - gn!reader, angst to comfort, insecurity, overthinking, anxiety, crying, kunikida is kind of scummy, wc - 624

a/n: hello! i had to change it slightly, hope you don't mind!

being with someone akin to kunikida was quite easy. and being with kunikida was the same. and by that, after all this time dating you knew his schedule like the back of your hand. and eventually you decided to stick to a schedule that worked alongside his.

and it wasn't just that that made being with kunikida great. he was very supportive and understanding. you see as what is very natural to experience, you didn't do to well with your self-esteem. before and dating kunikida. but being with him made it slightly better but didn't mean it went away immediately.

he helped you for the most part. what kind of partner would he be if he didn't? but sometimes fearing the worse you wouldn't let him help, again it was believing that it was just a burden you had brought upon kunikida no matter how many times he told you it wasn't. everyone has flaws, and flaws make people who they are! they are completely normal.

but that being said, sometimes caught at the wrong time lead him to saying some less than desirable things in response. it had been a very long day at the agency. dazai seemed to be more annoying than ever and he simply was losing patience to deal with him. the only thing keeping him going was the long overdue date you two had planned. for once he wished work was over and done with as soon as possible.

you too were estatic, you could hardly wait and so to be on time you started getting ready in the outfit you had so carefully planned. however things didn't seem to be going your way. an outfit that you loved wearing suddenly looked...odd. it seemed to not be as you remembered and now you were second gurssing yourself and as you kept spiralling you decided to call off the date.

however some time had passed before you knew it and kunikida was already at yours ready to pick you up. so before you could send the message you heard a knock at the door. you hesitantly opened just to gasp at the sight of kunikida at your door. when he saw you he couldn't help but think you had been crying but before he could ask you had told him that you didn't want to go anymore.

all the stress from the day seemed to pour over into that moment. you both knew he loved his ideals and keeping to the schedule but sometimes things can't be helped. but he acted irrationally. and before you knew it he was spewing out all the anger he had harboured for the day at the wrong person. making you feel even worse.

you slammed the door and moved away sitting upon your couch as chocked sobs quietly spilled from your mouth. when you had slammed the door he immediately recognised what he had done. he felt absolutely awful. he carefully knocked on the door again, if you didn't want to talk he understood. but there's no way he could just leave you when he could hear you trying to hold back your sobs.

he carefully opened the door and slowly made his way over to you. if you wanted to stop him you could. but you hadn't, so he sat down next to you. and spilled heart felt apologies to you. he acted irrationally and made you feel worse than you already felt. carefully, making sure to silently let you know that if you didn't want him there he could tell him, he brought you into his embrace. as you sobbed into his chest he could only apologise again and again, promising to better to you. he could always reschedule for you.

#x gender neutral reader #x reader #bsd x reader #bsd x gender neutral reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungo stray dogs #bsd kunikida #kunikida x reader

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hamliet · 11 months

Text

Never Have I Ever... Been So Grateful For a Show

Well, NHIE finished strong after the fourth season got off to a rocky start. The first three episodes were... messy, honestly, but then the story picked up steam. By the time we got to the final two episodes I was bawling pretty much the full way through.

NHIE also continued to flex its mature understanding of nuance, its appreciation for cultural differences, and its determination to keep its characters flawed and realistic. And including a game of Never Have I Ever in the finale? Fab.

All in all, it's a great ending to a great show. I loved it.

Ben and Devi

I've seen people complaining that the end relationship was predictable, or that Devi should be single, and kindly: no. <3

It fit Devi's character to end up in romantic love with someone, because the entire show has been about love for her. Love for her family, love for those who have died, love for her friends, love for her mentors, and yes, romantic love in all the aspects that entails (physical, intellectual, emotional).

The other thing that I think is beautiful about their relationship is that they both push each other in all these ways--physical (obviously), emotionally (Ben's final realization in New York was chef's kiss), and intellectual. They both get to go to their dream schools in part because of each other. Not only have they been pushing each other to excel since before the show started, but Devi helps Ben finish his schoolwork, and Ben encourages Devi to write that final letter to get into Princeton.

Ben's early acceptance to Columbia, which seemed a given given, well, his father and nepotism (I appreciated the show behind upfront about this), ultimately still almost gets sabotaged by his own repressing of other aspects of his life (which parallels Paxton, Blair Quan, and more, and isn't exactly new--see Ben's physical issues last season). This contrasts him with Devi, whose self-sabotage is always doing too much too suddenly. She's been trying so hard all along, but sometimes you need a final cheer to push you over the finish line.

Ben and Devi, Ethan and Margot

Ethan is dark!Ben. Margot is dark!Devi. On paper it's great.

Except... Margot was really, really annoying. I'm sorry, I found nothing remotely redeeming about her. Ethan at least served a purpose. The reason I think the first three episodes are so rough is that they focus on Margot but seem to not know what to do with her. But more about that later on.

Ben's speech about why he chooses to be with Margot in the first episode is well done and shows how much growth he still has to do. Because an essential part of love--of a mature kind of love and relationship--is that you are challenged to become a better version of yourself. Ben and Trent, in episode 2, shy away from this. Trent breaks up with Eleanor because he's afraid she'll break up with him, and he wants to do it first. Ben stays with Margot because she offers him superficial challenges, but nothing substantial in terms of his flaws.

That said, Devi making peace with Margot (numerous times) was narratively necessary because, of course, Margot's kind of a literary shadow (just not really well done). It also showed how much Devi's grown.

Trent + Eleanor

Trent's character is also really well done. That's how you deepen a comedic character. (Ethan was also dark!Trent in some ways; hence, Eleanor's crush on him.) Yeah, Trent's a stoner and not so bright. But, he loves Eleanor. He adores her, and he wholeheartedly believes in her. It's heartwarming to see.

I wasn't surprised they broke up early on, but was relieved they got back together. I think it was a funny inversion of what you'd expect, because El moving on to bigger and better things seemed like a natural progression. Yet, as the scene with El's mom showed... that's not what bigger and better is for Eleanor.

Yes, Eleanor still wants to grow. Yes, she still wants to be an actress and a director, and she's good at it.

But she doesn't want to leave her family and loved ones behind.

Eleanor knows what it's like to be left behind. And obviously it's not the same to leave a teenage boyfriend as to leave your own child like her mom. But, Eleanor ending up back with Trent was, frankly, narratively perfect for both their characters. Because Trent was helping her in her growth, and always had been from Season 3.

I also think they handled Eleanor's dreams and her complicated mother relationship well. The dream itself, even if it is far-fetched, even if it is unlikely to happen, is not bad. Pursuing it also is, in fact, positive (they paralleled this with Devi's dreams of Princeton). But, one of the best parts of dreams? Is the people you meet along the way, the people who cheer you on. It's a metaphor for life.

Paxton (and Lindsay)

Paxton's arc I think is one of the best in the series. I loved his journey from boy who was considered "hot guy" who sucked at school to the point where it was comic becoming a teacher. The episode where he helped Eric join the swim team was actually really powerful.

And, I didn't even roll my eyes when Devi told him he was an even better friend than boyfriend. On paper it's a cliche line, but it totally works within the characters' arcs (and of course the actors' portrayals!). Lindsay also seemed like much more than just a consolation prize to the guy who ends up outside the triangle--their relationship paralleled his with Devi, and quickly got me invested.

His final advice to Devi: "don't reinvent anything" also fits really well, because when Paxton at first refused to be Devi's boyfriend it was because Devi's image wasn't acceptable after the two-timing thing. Then, Devi's anxiety during their public relationship, the anxiety that actually ruined their romance, was because she didn't think she fit with Paxton or "made any sense" with him. But, she does fit with him. As a friend, and as herself.

Blair Quan + College

Blair Quan was also dark!Paxton--someone who lost themselves because they were always the Best in high school. The best student, the most popular. And then at college, everyone was the Best. And suddenly you're nothing.

The situation with Blair Quan was really realistic for how college can be for people, and in how the show (admittedly briefly) addressed the fundamental unfairness of college admissions. I work in higher ed, and... it's not fair. Nothing about it is fair. Professor Warner telling Devi outright that she "should have" gotten into all the Ivies actually meant a lot to me, because it's true.

For any readers of this who are applying to schools, there's a degree to which your merit matters, and there's a degree to which it's up to sheer luck. If they reject you, it's almost certainly not because you're not on par with other applicants. Hard work does not get you into prestigious schools. That's a lie. It gets you to a point, but it also gets a lot of other people to that same point, and then there is nothing at all you can do. It's up to luck.

Fab (and Addison. Kind of).

Fab's arc was interesting, but I feel like it peaked in season 2. I did like her conflict this season though, particularly with messing up about lying to Devi. The scene where she and Devi reconcile was beautiful, and the show handled it really well--giving empathy for Fab as for why she kept it a secret, while also pointing out that the lying was the fact greater problem than the initial applying.

The negative is that... I like Addison, but I wanted more. It kind of sucks that the queer character is the one whose romance doesn't come with two complex characters getting development. And sure, Fab isn't as important as Devi, Ben, or Paxton, but the fact that they wrote a compelling romance between Trent and Eleanor and gave Trent some damn deep character development despite him being a comedic character shows they were more than capable of writing a complex character romance for Fab. Addison is really just... kinda there, and we get no development for them at all. Which sucks because I would like to have learned more about them! They had potential, especially as a parallel to Trent!

Nalini and Andres

Nalini and Andres were a little more out of left field... that said, Nalini clearly has a type! She likes guys whom she argues with first. I still preferred the hot doctor from Season 2, but that had less to do with Andres and more to do with the fact that I found Margot so irredeemably annoying. Still, I appreciated Andres' growth in realizing that he'd been spoiling Margot by catering to her every whim. This was itself a nice contrast to Nalini, who hurts Devi by being too hard on her.

That was especially a flaw in the early seasons, but Season 4 really showed how much Nalini has grown. She does mess up with her response to the college debacle, so her flaws are still there, but she's so much better than in Season 1. For example, Devi lashing out at her mom after she got deferred was irrational; Nalini really didn't deserve any of that, and yet Nalini still met Devi where she was at: with a chip salad, addressing her fears. It was heartwarming.

Even when Nalini then does mess up with the "stupid" comment, we know she didn't mean it in the same way Devi fears she did (that that's all she can be, rather than that yes, Devi did a dumb thing). When she comes to help Devi pack, it's genuinely heartwarming. I honestly think Nalini and Devi's relationship is one of the best in the show, if not the beating heart at the center of it.

Pati and Len

Now, Pati. Pati and Lens' relationship parallels Kamala's romantic drama--not just with Manish in Season 3, but also with Steve in Season 1. Pati is also very clearly where Devi gets her drama from, and I stan.

I also liked the parallels between Len and Pati and Ben and Devi. They are both Indian-Jewish couples, and Pati and Len's wedding of course marks a grand romance for them... and a grand romantic gesture for Ben, who arrives to tell Devi he loves her.

Kamala (and Manish)

Kamala's arc this season was good as well; I just wish we had seen more Manish than just in the finale. Still, at least Manish did have an arc in the previous season. Though, it was a nice twist to have Kamala's arc be not about romance, but about her career.

Where Art Thou?

I also missed some other side characters, like Rebecca Hall-Yoshida and Jonah.

Margot & Aneesa

The overall show was filled with callbacks to past seasons that were really well utilized, in that they showed the character's growth. Unfortunately, in one instance, this came back for the worse when they repeated one of their biggest writing mistakes from Season 2.

Devi is, simply put, absolutely not morally responsible for reporting Margot to have lied about her alibi for vandalism. Yeah, Margot ultimately didn't do it--but Devi didn't do anything wrong by reporting that. In fact, the principal should have actually done her job and checked the alibi with the teacher; it's like 101 common sense.

Clearly this is a callback to Aneesa (the episode even has Devi reclaiming the nickname "crazy Devi," which started there). However, the shame is that the writers didn't learn from how they bungled the Aneesa plotline, and they did. Here again they hold Devi responsible for something she frankly is not morally in the wrong for. The show also mentions the Aneesa incident and calls Devi "a liar and a bully" for it, but she objectively didn't lie? And frankly Aneesa bullied Devi more than Devi bullied her and was never called out for it.

While I think it's a flaw, it COULD theoretically work from a psychoanalytic theory in that really all that Devi can control is herself. She can't force others to do what she wants, even if it's unfair. And that's part of maturing is realizing that (and it's not the same thing as selfish focus). You can't control the world, even when it's unfair and even when other people are frankly wrong.

I did like more or less how Margot was resolved in the end; namely, that she was not there among Devi's friends at the end. I also liked that Aneesa did defend Devi in the final episode from someone mocking her about the Clean Sweep. It just would've matter more if Aneesa's actions had ever been addressed.

The Principal + Professor Warner

Also, while in general the show is great in its portrayal of teachers and satire of other teachers, the principal sucks and she's not actually funny. She acts like another teenager, but unlike some of the other teachers/adults who are framed well, she's framed as being more or less fine instead of with the critical lens of the others. And she isn't.

Professor Warner stands in stark contrast, because she is wise even though flawed. The principal is just... awful. I'd never liked her, but this season made me hate her.

The Therapist + Grief

Now that I've gotten my salt out of the way, let's end with a positive and a theme.

The therapist's final session with Devi in the penultimate episode--I bawled.

“When I first met you, you were a closed-off, angry little thing... But look at you. Look how far you’ve come. You faced your trauma, and you came out on the other side.”

They used this to emphasize the show's main theme: grief. Despite how this quote makes it sound, the show doesn't actually frame grief as something to move on from. Instead, it's something that accompanies you.

Grief is like chasing a dream. Grief is part of life. It is love itself, but a painful part of it, and grief never, ever stops. You never "get over" someone's loss. You never stop loving them.

But, you learn to see them around you, and in you. In the dreams you planted together, like Devi's dad telling her about Princeton. In the loved ones you shared, like how Devi yells at her imagination of her father that he's not here, but then Nalini arrives to help her pack.

Just because someone's gone doesn't mean they stop influencing you, or stop being a part of your life.

There will always be moments of pain, like Devi in the final episode with the imagination of her dad. But, there will also be moments of feeling them again.

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pinkandpurple360 · 4 months

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I just wanted to say THANK YOU for being one of the few people who are normal about Blitzø! Everybody either overly demonises him or infantilises him and it’s so annoying.

Most of the Stolitz crowd either twists every mistake Stolas makes to somehow be Blitzø’s fault or they act like Blitzø is just a sad uwu boy that can’t accept Stolas’ love because he’s too insecure to see how Stolas really feels about him.

And a lot of the VivziePop critical crowd overly focuses on Blitzø’s flaws and mistakes, which is fair (I admit Blitzø has done some fucked up shit and I like seeing the show hold him accountable for it), but sometimes it seems like people give the worst possible interpretation of him and miss the nuance of his character.

It’s frustrating too because there are good criticisms you can have about Blitzø, but the annoying part is that most of that good critique of him lies in his relationships with people who AREN’T Stolas (M&M, Loona, Fizz, Verosika) and yet Blitz gets dragged through the mud by the show, fans and critics alike for his treatment of STOLAS of all people?? I’m a huge fan of Blitzø and I CRAVE good criticisms of him and I wish the show would actually focus on developing its main character.

Not sure if this is makes sense (I’m sick rn and my brain is not fully functioning lol) but I wanted to thank you for your posts!

No problem at all!! After seeing him with Loona and Fizz my opinions have changed a lot and I realise I’ve been too hard on him myself

Honestly stolas just isn’t a fair look at who blitz is. Can you really blame him for wanting out of a forced relationship. Six episodes this was non consensual and an unhealthy sh blitz was clinging to out of loneliness, suddenly becoming romanticised in season two. Stolas is a client at best, and at most an investor who gets far too involved and far too clingy and creepy.

The people who absolutely obliterate blitz for crimes such as not….liking a cigarette being put out on his head…or choosing his daughters healthcare over saving stolas, when he didn’t feel in danger at first. They’re just trying to convince themselves stolas isn’t a bad person, and are trying to force a ship, even if it destroys a character, a show, an entire cast of characters even.

The real time to go into blitzø is with IMP, fizz, verosika, other imps, hellhounds (who he actually treats as equals unlike a lot of other imps like even Millie). His hero complex is arguably his kindest trait that people admire him for, but also a big flaw when they start to feel indebted, or when they don’t want his rescue, like Loona wanting to have her own life once she turned 18, and Barbie wanting to keep her one good job.

Barbies scene was brief but it told us a lot. first off, how both twins prefer to be the boss with underlings of their own, possibly having a competitive rivalry. She does speak to him at first, and gives him a chance when he says how worried he is, explaining that she has honest work, that she’s fine, but needs to get away from her clingy brother. but Blitz keeps poking holes in the job, and just lets Moxxie try to kill the target, sabotaging Barbies job and that’s what makes her so mad. I have a feeling she actually doesn’t blame him for the fire, but it still really traumatised that they were ok for some time, but he kept doing shit like this. He possibly just abandoned the old showbiz job and got labelled a deadbeat. Then he kept visiting constantly, maybe every time he got upset, like he does with Loona.

#helluva boss critical

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riewritten · 7 months

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what do you think Erwin considers himself that he sucks at but at the same time he enjoys doing it? suddenly i thought of tiktoks that are like "having a hobby you're bad at is okay". do you have any hobbies you consider yourself not good at too?

tbh i think the "bad" and "good" stuffs are all social constructs, but i'm still struggling with crocheting just bc i think i suck but at the same time i know that's something i do for relax. still sometimes i can't afford to think that way??? do you have the same problem and have you overcome it? i have no idea if this is a prompt or just me asking you stuffs.

do you often project what you're thinking into your writing and visual arts and any other form of art?

oh my god this is getting nowhere 🥲🥲 thank you for reading Rie. have a good day!!!

THE BEST BIRTHDAY

ERWIN SMITH X GEN NEUTRAL!READER

TAGS: fluff, slice of life, kissing, comfort, office romance AU, idiots in love, insecurities, and AAAA HAPPEE BIRTHDAY ERWIN (this also goes with my most recent ask)

WORDS: 2.9k

hi @frenchdyer ❤ i know i took this long bc i've been thinking about this. like the otherworldly self-reflectio i only tend to have once in a year or whenever i'm PMS-ing lol. how's your crocheting? were you able to improve somehow months after you had sent me this msg? my sister gifted me a crochet kit, so i've been planning to learn, too!

on a personal note, the hobby i suck at but enjoy doing nonetheless is drawing! perhaps it's a self-esteem issue, but i've been drawing since i was 5. the passion came to me even before i learned how to write! due to the amount of years i've been trying to master it only to have minimal progress, i can say drawing is smth i can never admit i'm good at. but i came to terms to it now (when i was in highschool i was so insecure about it lol) and bc i did, i draw things to enjoy, not bc i'm utterly pressured to improve!

On the surface, even his closest friends would have a different time answering this question. It's Erwin we're talking about, after all! The literal embodiment of academic perfection and charisma!

Erwin also wants to think of something other than an answer. Although he admits his flaws well when someone points them out, he wants to be good at everything as much as possible. For a perfectionist like him, self-admittance would mean giving up!

It is until you said something that made him recnsider. "Sometimes, I don't see you as a human."

In hindsight, the context of your question was, "What do you want to have for your birthday?" but Erwin seems to be the type to already have the things he'd want and need in life, perhaps if one were to speak materially. Every gift he'd receive would only impact him a little, and you want to change that.

He chuckles at the remark, amused as your features remain serious, "Do I feel like an alien?"

"Dunno," you shrug without turning up at him—only at the papers, hiding a frustrated blush. "And if you're actually a slimy organism underneath? It scares me."

You hear the office chair sliding towards you, and as swift as ever, Erwin's hand is on top of yours. He squeezes it gently, and you try to hold your fluster by glaring at him. Luckily. Only the two of you are in the office; what would the others say if they saw this? You and Erwin made it clear to keep your relationship hidden by acting 'decent' in public places.

He lets you feel its warmth first, although unsure of the reason why, then he guides your hand towards his cheeks. He presses your palm on it.

"W-what?"

Erwin casually leans his cheek to your palms, albeit with a tranquil expression contrary to you, perhaps amusingly watching your reaction. "Mind repeating what you said earlier?"

"I said underneath. Hypothetically. And I don't mean it literally as well."

"Underneath? Well, that's quite a unique way of asking me to—"

You swatted your hand away and lightly hit his chest as you couldn't hold the fluster. "Stop playing with me. I'm not done yet."

"Well, I'm done."

"Please don't make it my problem."

"I'm actually offering to help."

You perk up in glee. If Erwin's to help, then you might as well consider yourself done. You pulled your chair away from your desk so Erwin could look at it.

However, Erwin asks something completely unrelated amidst the heap of your paperwork. "Why do you not see me as a human?"

"You feel like some sort of god."

"Silly, that's a metaphor that would fit you more."

"Oh, you. Stop flustering me." you huff in sarcasm. "You know about the crocheted scarf I was planning to give you before winter ends?"

"Yeah, and it's summer already. I'm still waiting for it, though."

"I threw it away."

"Huh?" Erwin looks at you in surprise, eyebrows twitched in confusion, perhaps in a whine. He knows you've been trying so hard for it. "Why would you?"

"I'm not good at it."

"But you were enjoying it. You told me so."

"Not because I enjoy it means I'm good at it," you then smile in defeat. "Let's just say I'm not as fast at learning as you are, no matter how much the task interests me. Maybe that's why I sometimes can't deem you human, too. Too good for me, I think."

Erwin could only observe you afterward. You don't try to make it a big issue, none but admittance that unpretentiously comes out of your mouth. As much as it is, perhaps, concerning self-esteem, Erwin is the one hit by it. The way you could admit your flaws a bit too easily and go home without pondering on it is something he couldn't easily do even if he tried. It takes one to help overcome an insecurity and another to admit his own.

"That's not true."

"It is. You really excel at everything, Erwin. That's something I also yearn to have for myself. You don't have flaws. Or, well, let's say you have one, but no normal being can see it so easily."

Well, you were able to lay down his flaws then and there. After all, he's having difficulty coming to terms with his flaws—or perhaps, on saying such admittances out loud. You are right. As much as Erwin demands you to open yourself up to him, some facets stay unsaid because he opts to and wants to remain an ideal image, perhaps one who can only admit his inadequacy if someone points it out. You're the complete opposite, though. You could admit your flaws and still end the day happily. The 'incompatibility', or so you might call it, could be giving him a hard time consoling you.

Oh, and when he recently enjoys consoling you the most. He really appreciates having you open up to him, enjoys the privilege of being able to take care of you as you let him, enjoys listening to your blabbers, and offers resolutions just like the strategic man he is. After all, he's one of the few people who sees that.

Only if he doesn't suck doing it.

"Oh no, did I say something that upset you?" you ask worriedly, sensing his silence.

And he's not the one to be given comfort right now, or so he thinks. It's as if you hit a nail, albeit unaware of how and where it hit him.

Just as if closing the distance is the needed nudge, Erwin pulls your figure towards him, holds both cheeks and surrenders to sweet kisses. Erwin's lips are warm, and the pace is languid. Yet, it's overwhelming enough to deprive you of your senses, let alone the urgent question of why he is suddenly acting the way he is. This might be the first time he got intimate with you inside the workplace. You know this type of kiss from him, too—he does it whenever he's dreary or after working on a significant research paper that got him weary.

The worry reverberates, and thus, you withdraw from the kiss, "Is this because of the scarf? I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have thrown it away. Don't worry, I'll make another one and—hmph!"

He cuts you off for another kiss, harsher this time, perhaps classified as a silent sulk for cutting off the lovely exchange, but no—you're wrong. It's not on you at all. Erwin is frustrated with himself. He holds onto your waist until you're seated on his lap and wraps his hand around your neck to press you further to his chest—hoping it would compensate for the distance you two have due to his inadequacies. To be great in giving you solace is to be vulnerable and imperfect; how could he do that?

He withdraws when both of you need air, albeit begrudgingly, "I'm sorry, Erwin. I know you waited for that scarf."

"No, it's not about that."

"Then what?"

He pretended to ponder for a few seconds, eyes roaming the room to gather his words. He pursed his lips before pointing out, "Don't you think the way you perceive me as a human far beyond you is a flaw I might have? Partners are not supposed to see each other that way."

"I'm merely exaggerating."

"Yes, but still."

"Are you saying you must apologize to me because you're such a perfect being?"

"No, because I'm failing to show you that I'm not."

Oh.

You finally see where he's coming from. "Are you failing by choice?"

He averts his gaze away, "Yes."

"Then it can really be a flaw," you flash him a sympathetic smile, moving his face so he'd see you in the eyes again, "can you tell me why?"

“I'm not brave enough to show it the way other people do."

"You just did, honey."

"Not because I want to, but because I'm insecure about my inability to console you like a normal partner would. The way you perceive me right now says a lot about our distance. And mind you, doing this isn't even supposed to be this hard."

Both of you stopped. That is by far the most vulnerable thing he had said about himself since you started dating months ago—and it wouldn't even sound vulnerable unless it came out of Erwin's mouth. That's how hard he's been all this time.

He expects you to be annoyed. After all, that might be one of the shallowest reasons he had ever given, too.

But then you smile as if you appreciate him for saying that much—just as if you know it takes a lot for the Erwin Smith to admit something like that, "It's not something you can unlearn overnight. Do not fret."

He lets out a defeated chuckle, "That I know well."

"What's strange is that I'm not your first partner. How come this didn't become a problem with your previous ones?"

"Because people are content to perceive me that way. At some point, I preferred that, too. Honestly—" he leans his head on your shoulder, hands on your waist to keep your balance on his lap, "had it not affected the way I console you, I would prefer things to stay that way."

You pepper him with kisses all over his face, something he accepts as a reward, "Honestly, I would prefer you this way, too. A relationship with a god can be a bit of a struggle, after all."

"Indeed it is. What a struggle I have right now."

You glare at him, "What do you mean by that?"

He shakes his head nothing, hands lurking inside your shirt to feel you more, to shower you with reverence, "Let me finish this now. I miss our bed."

Today is his birthday, and you still need to think of a gift that could be deemed special.

As a last-minute reflection before giving up the gift that has been frustrating you for days, you try to ponder on the previous days since he opened up.

Erwin has become more talkative since then. He's always been chatty towards you since you started the relationship, especially when info dumping. However, this has a stark difference. He's trying too much as if matching an expectation no one but him had set up. Wording it as "forced" would perhaps hurt, but it's not something you could deny, either. Only when afternoon came did you realize how to fix it, with Erwin on a couch and crochet yarns on his lap. He has his phone at the coffee table and the familiar tutor video playing in the background. Eventually he sighs, unties the yarn, and repeats—this time with much precision, and you couldn't help but smile. When Erwin is about to learn something new, he locks himself in his office and spends the whole day studying it alone. Only now did you finally unravel why, and it's apparently part of his mentioned flaw that night.

He might be forcing himself lately, but it's the adjustment that counts.

Erwin perks up in surprise when you sit beside him and hold his hand. You guide his fingers into the correct way of tying the knot. You didn't say anything, and maybe you even tried to act like it's an everyday routine. Erwin pretends to listen and pick up the techniques you're blabbering, but in reality, he's just looking at your face. His lips are flat but twitching as he's trying to hold the urge to steal a kiss. He tries to inhale longer to indulge in the scent of your hair but not too much to call your attention. And as the moment passes, thirty minutes, perhaps because the video's finally done playing in the background, Erwin realizes something.

Just… just what held him back from being like this towards you? This is, in fact, a short step. The bare minimum, even. And even so, it felt genuinely liberating. Indeed, he's been forcing himself to be vulnerable recently, but this is the first time it exuded a positive feeling.

Your hands gently stop, the instruction's done, and Erwin only realizes when you turn to look him in the eye, "You get it?"

"The what?"

"Huh?"

"Oh," Erwin tries to recall what his blank, sappy head might have digested so far, only to no avail. The only thing coming up in his mind right now is the smell of your shampoo. Perhaps his nerdy brain is trying to guess the unfamiliar flavor mix and earn your praise once his guess is correct. "I—uh—"

"You didn't listen at all."

He smiles, guilty.

You sigh, "I'm quite persistent, you see. We're not eating dinner until we both master this knot."

"Wouldn't this wait? I'm not in the mood anymore."

You shake your head and untie the yarn. But just as you're about to quip at his newfound impatience (and how cute he is trying to get the hang of it like a little kid learning origami), Erwin grasps the tool away from your hands and cups your cheeks.

He first lands a chaste peck on your forehead, then the bridge of your nose, then the tip of it, then the two cheeks, and finally, it deepens when he reaches for your mouth.

And because you are indeed a persistent being, you have no idea how shamelessly grateful Erwin was when you did more than just pull him in. He tried to stop himself, after all, for seconds in case it'd do anything better. Maybe you're not in the mood; perhaps you want to see the side of him not knowing better and learning things together. But when his palm glided on your cheek and your eyes widened in response, the tremor in his nerves overpowered the need to ask.

Perhaps the tremor was gratitude because here he is, not getting any younger, and yet, this is only his first genuine step to face his vulnerability.

You kiss him back and wrap your arm around his neck to pull him in, albeit quite sure why he's suddenly kissing you like this.

Unlike the previous one, his kisses are full of gentleness, and not a tinge of frustration can be seen. His hands, although huge and hard, slide inside your shirt so softly to feel your bare skin. You withdraw a bit to ask what might be the matter, but quickly forget the question when you see his face. He's blushing as though it's the first time he has kissed like this. His eyes are pretty lidded, lips a bit open, and you realize that although you had seen this expression before, it was for a very brief moment—not immediately after a chaste kissing session.

He looks at you, quite disappointed for cutting the kiss short again. He grabs you by the ankle until you're sitting on his lap.

"Did something happen?"

He shakes his head, "Saying it out loud would be sappy."

"If you think I'd forgive you for spacing out while I'm—kyah!"

He starts sucking on your neck, "Shut up and don't ruin the moment."

"The what? Hey, don't mark on it. I'm warning you."

Erwin really wants to explain his thoughts. He's sure you'd be glad if you were to know all of this. Even though he could never perceive this as a significant step beyond, he bet you'd be giggling and jumping once you know.

He looks up and tries to explain but realizes how tired he is holding everything in—it took him decades. Erwin addressed it only after loving someone so ardently that he was willing to give up years-long prideful habits—all to love you more. He is exhausted, and your lips are so soft and so near, offering the sheer comfort he needs. It's parted slightly; if his tongue were to slip inside, it would send him into great bliss. Erwin is exhausted right now; perhaps he’d share his thoughts after this overwhelming, trembling warmth subsides.

For now, he at least tries to give a small context, "This is the best birthday I've ever had."

"Y-you think so?!" What have you done? You've been thinking about it for months! How could it happen without you knowing? "We spent the day indoors. We haven't even done anything special yet."

"You'd get quite full of yourself if you knew."

"You're trying to escape for not listening to my crochet blabbers."

"I don't want to get sappy today. Can't we just continue?"

"Well, uh… I really want to know what I did," you avert your gaze away. "I've been at the edge lately, thinking of ways to make you say you got the best birthday today—with me. Now that you finally say it, however…"

Again, it's as if you hit a nail, albeit unsure where and how you did.

"And there you have it. Your answer."

"Huh?" It took you a while to process that. "Because you're with me?"

He nods, albeit in a teasing manner.

"Eek. The sap shudders me."

"That's why I asked if we could just continue where we left off."

"The crocheting, indeed." you tease, but as you're about to reach the tool again, Erwin carries you up in his arms. He doesn't even need to tell you where he'd bring you. The impatient man would straight up lead you to bed to show what he wants.

Instead of scolding him for cutting the lecture off, you sigh and muffle your head in his neck, "You have to thank god it's your birthday today."

"Oh, yes of course," he kisses the crown of your head. "Thank you, dear."

TAGLIST: sorry for causing inconvenience with your notifs, my dears in taglist TT i wasn't planning to publish this tonight but the birthday request activated my brain neurons and said "what if u unload your WIPS and just publish this thing" so yea. sorry. @frenchdyer @watyousayin @collinnmckinley @aeanya @xiaotopia @cadenza-damour @grimistheangerinmystares @rinamars | STORY SUBSCRIPTION FORM

MORE OF SWEET SUBTLETIES SERIES HERE

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handoverthekawaii · 8 months

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We Go Together | Homelander x You | Chapter 22

Note: This chapter contains explicit sexual content.

Taglist: @hom3landr @theaudacitytowrite @lover1307

“So is it true?” you ask suddenly.

You’re seated on the sofa in Black Noir’s living room as John scrounges together dinner for the two of you. And it really is scrounging — it is blatantly obvious that John was never taught to operate a microwave, a truth that is simultaneously tragic and funny by virtue of being so fucked up.

Still, you can tell he is making a genuine effort, just like you could tell by the way he laid out clean clothes for you and bundled you up in a blanket before starting on dinner. Even though he hardly knows how, John is doing his best to take special care of you in the aftermath of your captivity.

In the kitchen, John freezes at the sound of your words. After what Vogelbaum had said to you back at the lab, he knew it would only be a matter of time before you asked a question like this. And, frankly, it terrified him because, once he tells you about all the shit he’s done… what if you don’t like him anymore?

John forces himself to take a deep breath before he turns to face you. He made a promise that he would never, EVER, lie to you, no holds barred, flaws and all — and, by God, he is going to abide by it.

“Is what true?” John responds, answering your question with a question.

“Well… Jonah Vogelbaum said you killed a lot people,” you say, seeing John visibly wince at your words. “Is that true?”

The captain of The Seven walks around the kitchen island, enters the living room, and sits down on the couch alongside you. After a long moment he answers, “Yes, it’s true.”

“H-how many?” you ask, your heart rate beginning to pick up as John’s words sink in. What if you escaped one danger just to end up faced with another? And you don’t feel any better when his next words are,

“I have no fucking idea.” At this, John puts his face in his hands. “Too many… way too goddamn many. Sometimes I lose my temper in the heat of the moment, like today… but usually it’s an accident.”

Usually? you think to yourself. There’s a “usual” way he kills people?! Forcing yourself to push down your panicked thoughts until you get all the facts, you ask, “What kind of accident?”

The Supe bows his head silently, eyes shut as he revisits memory after painful memory. After a beat of silence John says, “Like one time, in th-in the Bad Room… I tried to give my teacher a hug, but I… I squeezed too tightly. I broke her spine, and sh-she died.”

“Jesus Christ!” you blurt out. “And none of this was ever made public?”

“Of course not!” answers John with a mirthless laugh. “No matter how many people Vought’s Supes hurt, the company doesn’t fucking care… anything to protect that bottom line.”

It wasn’t just Mom and Dad, you realize now. For decades, Vought’s been covering up the crimes of the company AND its employees. They have been selling the American public on a lie, when all along they cared more about profits than people.

And John might be the best (or worst) example of all — raised in a lab, by people with no conscience, tortured and desensitized to the value of human life. America’s favorite hero, with the potential to become the entire world’s greatest enemy.

But it’s only potential. You see that now, by the way he’s risked life and limb to protect one life — yours. The way he’s tried so hard to make you feel comfortable and safe, and the way he’s sitting next to you now with his head buried into his hands, body shuddering as waves of emotion crash over his shoulders.

“I want to be different, Y/N,” John says now, in a near-whisper. “I don’t want to be that person anymore.”

And with every fiber of your being, you know he’s telling the truth — you believe him. So you outstretch your hand and place it on John’s knee. The Supe lowers his hands and looks over at you, his expression changing rapidly from fearful to hopeful to wistful and back.

“Well, I have good news,” you say. “It’s not too late for you to start over.”

“With you?” John asks, the vulnerability in his voice cutting, like a chainsaw to the heart.

“Yes, with me,” you reply, offering a small smile. “Like you said, we go together, right?” [continued on AO3]

#ao3 writer #fanfic #the homelander #homelander the boys #homelander x you #homelander x reader #homelander x y/n #homelander #the boys tv #the boys #the boys smut #the boys fanfic #the boys amazon

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jinwoosungs · 2 years

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{ 66 }

moonsetter.

vincent fabron (CHAMBER) x reader

it was rare for you to find chamber fast asleep first.

you had just come out of the shower, working on drying yourself off while dressed in a silk robe. your bare feet pads against the cold and almost icy texture of the marble flooring, causing you to shiver almost instinctively. you re-enter your bedroom, ready to find some decent pajamas to wear to sleep only to freeze once you saw a large mass settled on top of your bed.

your mind was spinning, unsure of what to do. your boyfriend never told you he was coming back home, and the last time you had spoken to him, he had mentioned that he'd be away on a mission. you debated on finding a weapon, or just running the hell out of your home to find help. you didn't know what had came over you; perhaps some strange curiosity had pushed away at your fears as you found yourself stepping closer to the figure, only to visibly relax upon seeing his features clearly from beneath the moonlight.

settled in bed was none other than chamber himself. his glasses were placed aside on the nightstand as his hair slowly began to lose its neatly slicked back appearance. a few strands of dark brown hair was seen falling across his forehead, making you wonder if chamber had been running his hands through his hair the entire time.

had he been wanting to surprise you? and if so, just how long had he been back?

you rarely got the chance to admire your lover in such a vulnerable state. ever since you first got together with him, he had always been such a prime example of raw power and confidence. to you, there wasn't a single flaw in chamber solely because you embraced all of his imperfections and accepted him for who he was.

so to see him sleeping soundly with such a tranquil expression on his face makes you melt for him. you wanted to be a good lover and try not to bother him whilst he slept and simply join him, but sadly your desire to simply admire him won out.

making sure that you were mostly dried off so that not a single droplet of water would disrupt chamber's sleep, you climb on top of the bed. seeing chamber awake and basking in the golden glow of the sunlight always made your heart stutter, but seeing him now, asleep while bathed in the gentle light of the moon was something ethereal altogether.

he was too beautiful, it was devastating to you. chamber almost looked unreal, like a sculpture or a painting on smooth canvas. seeing his sculpted face in a state of such a peaceful slumber makes your heart ache and your mouth turn dry. just how did you get so lucky to capture his heart and call him your own? sometimes, the act of standing next to him makes you feel all types of inferior to him-

yet he's told you on so many occasions that he loves you. that you are his light that guides his heart and gives him peace.

"never before have i experienced a love like yours, mon amour, for it is something truly unconditional."

remembering his words makes your heart swell. you continue admiring his beauty, gently framing his face while whispering his name, "you are my greatest love, vincent."

you allow your lips the pleasure of meeting his cheek, relishing on how you felt his warmth against your skin as proof that he was truly here with you, safe and sound. ready to turn in and go to bed, you were about to step out of bed when you suddenly felt a pair of powerful arms wrap around your back, stopping you from leaving him. you were suddenly trapped against his chest, making you giggle, "i'm sorry, did i wake you up?"

chamber groans and grumbles a bit, looking down at you with unfocused eyes. "damn, did i really fall asleep? i had every intention of seducing you when i came home and heard you in the shower. just picturing your naked body beneath the spray of water was enough to get me going- or so i thought."

he yawns, folding your form against his chest. "forgive me, mon amour, for i am too tired to move. perhaps you can stay with me like this in my arms until the morning?"

you could feel yourself smiling into his chest, snuggling yourself even closer to him while placing gentle kisses against the gentle thrumming of his heart. "i would want to do nothing more, my love."

he hums in approval, unable to help himself even in his tired state when he lifts up your chin to press a chaste kiss against your lips.

"i'm home." chamber says to you with a lazy smile

"welcome home." you answer back in a whisper, feeling more than happy at having your lover back in your arms once more.

a.n. - whispers listen to { moonsetter } while reading pls okay b y e.

all stories are written by rei; reposts, translations, and plagiarism are not allowed

#valorant chamber x reader #chamber x reader #vincent fabron x reader #chamber valorant #vincent fabron #.stories

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