#sorry in advance but also not sorry because pain and angst are my middle names

[helloheyhihowdyheya]

On a Tuesday | p. 1 of 2

Peter Parker x fem!reader

Masterlist

Summary: Life had been a bit lonely – that is until Peter Parker brightened up your life. On a Tuesday. And when that friendship seems to fizzle out on a Tuesday? You’re sure the universe is playing some sort of trick on you.

Word Count: 8,700!

Warnings: Reader has she/her pronouns. Fluff. Eventual friends to lovers in the next part. Hurt and eventual comfort. Angst (a lot of angst, but it gets better). Uncle Ben’s death.

A/N: This story is a bit sadder than my other ones (sorry) but I really enjoyed playing with these characters and following their friendship over the years. Oh and I made some canon changes, like meeting Gwen and Harry in middle school rather than college. Thank you for reading, I love hearing what you guys think! <3

The universe had a funny way of working. Sometimes, it seemed ironic, leaving you with nothing to do but shake your head with a disbelieving sigh. And sometimes, the universe, purposeful and downright cruel or just bluntly uncaring, sharpened into a deadly point cutting along your heart and laughing in your pain. 

It felt especially serrated at school. You had never enjoyed it all that much, mostly because of how lonely the hallways felt, despite how fast they moved as shoulders hit against yours without care or apology. Your parents also required a lot of help around the house with their double and triple shifts, your already bruised shoulders feeling too much weight as you ran home right after school to be there for them. This didn’t leave much time for friends, and the world felt safer if you kept your head down, slinking into your seat while avoiding anyone’s eyes. 

By the time your parents found better jobs, and you finally got the courage to pick your head up, everyone had already made their friend groups, none of which included you. You spent the first day of middle school eating lunch by yourself and walking home with quick steps until the door shut behind you. The days passed this way, weeks and months alone in an isolating school ready to eat you whole.

It wasn’t until an overcast Tuesday well into the year that your life changed, though you didn’t know it at the time. Outside the classroom, the clouds allowed the dirty spring snow to rest a few days longer in its shadows, but you could see tiny blades of grass fighting to poke through into the light. 

You would never admit it, but you thought back to that day a lot, the moment you officially met your saving grace. Sitting in biology, you were grouped into pairs for a project. This wasn’t the first time, but they had all been different. You would get the assignment done, keep the talking to a minimum, and hope that saying less would make the days pass easier.

But on that day, the teacher called your name along with Peter Parker’s. You had seen him around school before, always with his cute floppy head of hair and goofy smile talking to his friends Gwen and Harry. You had grabbed the project sheet and sat at a table next to him, beginning to hastily write in your notebook a list of ideas for the project. You planned to just push it over to your partner at the end and let him decide, but before you finished, you saw the eraser end of a pencil tap the top of your notebook. And finally, after too long spent shielding yourself from the clouded sky, you lifted your head to look at sunshine come to life.

Peter grinned, tilting his head at you. “I was going to ask if you wanna brainstorm ideas, but it looks like you’re already almost done,” he said. 

You looked between the notebook and him, stuttering, “Oh, um, yeah, we can brainstorm if you want. What are you thinking?” You held your pencil above the paper, ready to record any ideas he said. You felt the way your hand shook a little, not used to making actual conversation with another student or the way his gaze felt on you.

He listed off a bunch of ideas, some far too advanced for this class and others that actually sounded interesting. You two decided on a project based on the spherification process, turning different drinks into semi-solid balls that can pop in your mouth like candy. The way he waved his hands in the air describing the principles that made this possible made you smile, excited for something school-related for once.

As the bell rang, Peter began packing up his things, hastily shoving everything crumpled into a ball into his backpack. “We can talk more about it at lunch if you want – my friends and I usually eat near the back,” he told you, practically offering you a hand up out of the hole you sat in with just his words. He said, “They’re gonna love talking to you!” while waving goodbye.

You gave a weak wave, your voice not quite finding the words to respond before he was gone. Watching him walk out of the classroom, his backpack still open and papers nearly falling out, you smiled and let out a breath you had been holding since the start of the year.

You thought back to that day as the start of so much. Peter’s friends really did love having you around, all three of them waving you over to their table at lunch. Gwen made it her mission to become your friend, determined to get some space from these obnoxious boys. They made you laugh and smile until your face hurt, and you sat there grateful for Peter and his neverending kindness toward everyone, especially you.

Gwen asked about your favorite color, where you lived, and what pets you had. But Harry, with a cold cafeteria pizza in his mouth, asked, “Okay, but if you turned into a dragon, what would it look like? Because we’ve all chosen our dragons. Mine would be white on the bottom and dark on the top like a killer whale, so it couldn’t be seen by prey or enemies.”

You thought about the question, a tad worried he would take your answer very seriously, but Peter said in between bites of applesauce, “Harry, whales are colored that way so they’re not visible from the top or bottom. Who is going to see your dragon body from the top if you’re flying all the time?”

“I’m sure there’d be humans coming to hunt me while I’m on the ground feasting!” Harry proclaimed, and the two of them got into a very scientific discussion on the camouflage patterns of dragons, making you laugh while Gwen rolled her eyes.

Leaving the cafeteria once lunch finished felt… empty. Almost like the few days after a vacation somewhere new, and you had to adjust back to normal life. Before you left the building at the end of the day, the three of them found you and invited you to go bowling that weekend. That day, you ran home as usual, but this time in excitement to tell your parents about your new friends when they got done with work.

They saw the way you bounced up and down, words falling out of your mouth too fast as you spoke about Peter, Gwen, and Harry. When they offered to drive you to the bowling alley and meet the other parents, the weekend couldn’t come fast enough, even though you still saw them at lunch every day. 

There had been bowling alley food and drinks, and the bowling itself was fine, but your parents got to see your toothy smile they hadn’t seen in a while as you laughed with your friends. Most of it had been at gutter balls, but then a thundering crash sounded from the end of your bowling lane, your head turning to see who nailed a strike that fast. 

That’s when you first saw Uncle Ben, who high-fived everyone and yelled, “Still got it!” He came last to Aunt May, who you had briefly met, their hands entwining while Peter went up to bowl his turn. You looked at everyone there and suddenly couldn’t wait to start your life with these people. 

The four of you spent the next years inseparable, always at one another’s houses. You never went over to Harry’s much, though you knew better than to pry, given how he tensed when speaking of his father. But you all loved spending time at Peter’s, doing homework on the living room floor together until the afternoon sun began to stretch into the evening. The family dinners were your favorite.

Sitting around the table, you listened to Uncle Ben (who had basically become everyone’s uncle) tell stories of young Peter that left you doubled over laughing and Peter with red cheeks, which just made him look even more adorable. Aunt May would hush Ben, telling him to stop embarrassing the poor boy. A few minutes later, though, she’d always find more cute childhood pictures to show the three of you. 

Harry’s favorite was one of Peter in just a diaper covered head to toe in cake and blue frosting, and Gwen pointed out one of him sitting on a pony at some birthday party. But the pointy birthday hat had fallen over his eyes, giving him a bit of a unicorn horn. Your favorite, though, was one of Peter holding hands with two adults, swinging up off the ground with the widest smile you’d ever seen. 

You assumed it was May and Ben in the picture until you saw the way Peter stared at the photo, like he was trying to relive that moment in his head. It had to be his mom and dad holding on to young Peter’s little hands, and you could only imagine how he felt. You weren’t sure what to do, so you just rested your head on his shoulder, breaking him from his faraway gaze for a brief second. His usual grin returned as Aunt May brought out her famous wheat cakes.

He clapped his hands together and licked his lips obnoxiously, making you laugh and hit his arm lightly. You never knew the beauty of wheat cakes until coming to the Parker's house, but you weren’t one to turn down breakfast for dinner. 

Then, as night grew closer, there was always a heavy sigh weighing on you, a pull to stay there, safe, at home with them. But you’d lay in bed hours later, excited for the next day when you got to see them again, a chorus of their laughs playing in your head as you fell asleep.

When the four of you entered high school, not much had changed, at first. Classes were a bit harder, but you had each other to lean back on. You all eventually got your driver’s licenses and drove back and forth between houses and the school, taking turns carpooling there or to the skate park and mall.

One night, Peter was driving the four of you back from a late-night showing of some action comedy you had all seen together. You looked into the back seat, finding Harry and Gwen both fast asleep. Gwen rested her chin on her hand while Harry’s head hung forward, which was sure to hurt when he woke up.

Turning your gaze back forward, you notice the flickering orange light of lamp posts passing through the car. They glowed against the night sky, making the stars twinkle a little brighter. You looked left at Peter, watching the way the light reflected against his glasses. You weren’t sure how it happened so slowly, but he had grown so much in the past few years.

He was taller, making his body somehow look even leaner than before. You liked how his hair swooped backward now that he had learned how to style it as something other than a mop covering his eyes. He had finally grown facial hair, though it was just a little stubble running along his cheeks. He had grown up so lovely right before your eyes, and you hadn’t seen it. 

His head turned to look at you, his dark eyes catching yours. You instead peered at the road, your face hot, certain he had felt your staring. His sly grin grew, and you just laughed a bit, trying to bring yourself to hate how smug he looked, but you had always loved that smile of his. It felt brighter than any of the stars or lights surrounding you.

In a whispered tone, he asked, “How’d you like the movie?” His eyes never left the road, but you knew he was paying attention.

You leaned back against the headrest and let out a quiet sigh. “It was fun; those actors are always so funny,” you told him, glancing back at his face. “Though I’m not sure I could hear it very well with your loud laughing in my ear the whole time,” you said, a smile evident in your voice.

He let out a hushed scoff, “It was not that loud. It was much quieter than those stupid comments you kept making.”

You faked a gasp, “Peter, you know you love my jokes, even if they are dumb.” You both laughed, and that’s why you always leaned over to him to say a silly joke, to hear that beautiful laugh. The car fell into a comfortable silence the rest of the way home, your heart feeling full and happy. You had wished, as always, to stay with them as he dropped you off at your house, but you just waved goodbye.

And just like you didn’t know that day you met Peter would change your life around, you didn’t know you were in the best times until they were over. As high school continued on, you began to see less and less of them over time. It started with a missed lunch here, a movie night cut short there, but each time one of you wasn’t there, you felt it.

You still tried meeting up for lunch and after school, but Harry threw himself into his studies (which you assumed he did to impress his father). You tried to console him and help him with homework, all of you did, but he withdrew into himself more and more with each passing day. He joined study groups, after-school programs, and tutoring until it became just the three of you then.

Until Gwen slowly shifted toward the student org she ran – the women in science club. She became president in no time and ran it beautifully, as you knew she would. You helped her make some flyers for events, and she still joined the lunch table once in a while, but you saw her with her club friends more and more often. Your side felt empty and cold without her leaning into it while trying not to spit food everywhere from laughing so hard.

And then it was two. You still enjoyed throwing cold fries and stale bread at Peter, sometimes still visiting his house (which you teased Peter by saying it was only because of his aunt and uncle). But at the lunch table, he would sometimes just sit there with his head on his hand. Sometimes, he’d stare into nothing, and sometimes, you’d catch him staring at MJ Watson sitting with her friends, most of them also in the theater program. 

It wasn’t until Peter joined the photography club and started trying for that Daily Bugle internship that you really felt lonely. He’d run past you in the halls, yelling, “I can’t make it to lunch today!” just about every other day.

You found a couple of other students with similar interests as you, but they weren’t Peter, Gwen, and Harry. They didn’t make you forget your own problems at home or bring homemade wheat cakes during finals. It hit particularly hard on a cold Tuesday, the day you found out the news. 

You didn’t know exactly what was wrong, but you had a sickly, gnawing feeling in your stomach as soon as you got to school. You texted Peter about plans for after school, but he didn’t return it. You searched for him around school, hoping to find him in his classes, but he was nowhere to be found. It was so unlike him to up and disappear without at least mentioning something, and he didn’t answer any calls either. You finally tracked down Harry and Gwen at lunch when you couldn’t take it anymore.

You grabbed Harry by his sleeve and dragged him over to Gwen, where you interrupted her conversation, motioning her to follow with a pointed look. With a small huff, she got up after the two of you. Harry asked, “What is it?”

The three of you stood so close, and you could feel the heat coming off their bodies. It felt particularly hard in your stomach to remember you hadn’t been this close to them in a while. You breathed out a long sigh and grabbed their hands, squeezing them while saying, “It’s Peter. I can’t find him anywhere.”

That hard weight in your stomach sunk deep when you saw their furrowed eyebrows as they looked at each other. Gwen spoke up, “So?”

You sunk your teeth into your bottom lip and said, “I don’t know, he’s not answering my calls or anything. I just have this horrible feeling that something’s happened.” You knew it sounded melodramatic to them, but it was Peter. You all knew he’d be there for you if it was the other way around. At least you thought so, but everything else was changing…

You pulled at their hands, urging them to follow as you said, “Come on, we gotta go check his house. Check in with May to see if she knows anything.”

They started to move, but their steps stuttered and eventually dropped your hands. Gwen and Harry looked back at their lunch tables and at their new friends – friends they might now know better than you guys know each other. 

Gwen spoke up first, softly saying, “We can’t just skip school like this. I mean, he might not even be there, or there might not even be anything wrong.”

Harry cleared his throat. “Yeah, he could just be sick for all we know. I can’t really risk getting in trouble right now,” he said, scratching the back of his neck, “especially with how my dad’s been lately.”

You shifted back a little, your heart beating hard against your chest, the pounding ricocheting in your ears. “Are you serious? Guys, this is Peter. We wouldn’t do that.”

Gwen just said, “I’m sorry,” as she grabbed your hand and gave it a single squeeze. “We’ll swing by after school.” She bit her lip and corrected herself, “Actually, after the club’s meeting.”

You just pressed your mouth tight and turned around toward the Parker house, your home at one point. It wasn’t too far from school, and if nothing was wrong, you could make it back without missing too much.

Any explanations you were rehearsing in your head about why you randomly showed up at their house disappeared when you saw the cop car outside the porch steps. Running to the door, your whole body felt on edge, like it was building up to the teetering drop-off of a cliff. You knocked on the door, every second passing feeling much too long.

When the door finally swung open, any air in your body left at the sight of Aunt May with red eyes and a crumpled tissue in her hand. She broke down, throwing her arms around your shoulders while sniffling, “Oh, dear…”

You hugged her, rubbing your hand along her back and fearing that something had happened to Peter. Unsure of what to do about the shakes coursing through her body, you just stood there, holding her upright. Usually, it was her consoling you kids.

She pulled back, looking at you for a few moments before inviting you inside. You peered past her to see a police officer sitting at the kitchen table talking with Peter, who also had teary eyes. You knew better than to interrupt their conversation, but you couldn’t contain your relief and went running to him, enveloping him in a hug so tight it knocked the wind out of him. 

“Peter, I’m so glad you’re okay,” you whispered, your cheek resting against his shoulder. You felt his hands wrap around you, but they were wavering. You pulled back, looking between him and the cop.

You heard May’s soft voice from behind you say, “It’s Uncle Ben. He was attacked last night, and,” her voice wavered, and she had to take a deep breath.

“And he was murdered by some monster.” You whipped your head back around to look at Peter, his hands balled into fists that he pounded into the table. Your eyes widened, your hand coming up to cover your mouth. A million questions raced through your mind as tears began to form. 

The police officer motioned for you to sit down, moving the box of tissues closer to you. You took them as he explained some of the information they currently had on the incident. Your eyes glazed over as you listened, your body unable to keep up with everything while trying to come to terms that you wouldn’t get to talk with Uncle Ben again.

Peter exhaled a long breath beside you, and you moved your hand on top of his. You tried tracing small circles on his skin but felt his muscles tense. You lifted away from him, just barely ghosting over his hand. You turned to look at him, his face looking tired and his hair tangled from running his fingers through it repeatedly, but he refused to look back at you.

It wasn’t until the officer left that you even remembered Gwen and Harry. You turned to Aunt May, your mouth opening and closing before saying, “Is it okay if I tell the others to come over? I think they’d want to know, but it’s okay if you want to just be left alone.”

She gave a sweet smile and her eyes crinkled. “Of course, they’re family.”

You smiled back, warmed by her words even if it hadn’t felt like much of a family for a while. You texted them to get to the house as soon as possible, forgetting about clubs and school. You were afraid they wouldn’t answer or tell you that they couldn’t make it, but Harry texted a minute later that they were on their way.

May had been busying herself with tidying up the place and shooed you off when you offered to help. You let her be but felt strange as you saw Peter, who hadn’t moved in ages. You knew his mind was reeling, that look in his eyes only present when he was determined to solve something. It weirded you out a little, but there was a knock at the door before you could say anything.

You rushed to it and ushered Gwen and Harry inside. The next few hours passed in a blur of deep grief and reminiscing as the five of you tried processing everything. You repeated what the cop had told you, breaking down a few times at the unfairness of it all.

The three of you offered to help May and Peter out in any way you could. Gwen was already making a grocery list for them while Harry got to work on things they needed to plan the funeral. You vowed to come over every day for anything they needed, half-joking that you needed to keep Aunt May from cleaning the house so much it’d feel like living in a department store showroom.

She just laughed, pulling you three into a long hug. Gwen and Harry eventually got up to head home, promising they’ll bring everything tomorrow. You were quietly talking with May, about to leave as well, when you saw Peter finally stand up. He pushed his chair out far and walked toward the stairs with heavy steps and a clenched jaw. With furrowed eyebrows, you excused yourself and followed him upstairs.

“Peter! Peter, wait. Are you… okay?” You shook your head. “I’m sorry, that’s a bad question. I meant, can I help? Did you want to talk?”

He stopped right in front of his bedroom, turning to look you in the eyes for what felt like the first time in months. Maybe it was. He sighed and rubbed his hands across his face, his fingers curling into his skin as he let out a long groan. “No. I don’t want to talk. Thanks for the help and everything,” he said, his eyebrows raised and voice growing strained, “but I’m good. Just… I’ll see you at the funeral, okay?”

And before you can even respond, he walked into his room and shut the door hard enough to make you jump. You heard a quiet “sorry” from the other side, and then… silence, something you would grow accustomed to over time.

You came back every day with Gwen and Harry as promised, but you rarely saw Peter while helping with funeral preparations. You barely got to talk with Peter and May at the dreary funeral later that week, their minds occupied with grief and welcoming the many people that came from all over for Uncle Ben.

For the next several months, over the chilly winter season, you felt so far away from Peter. He came back to school the following week, but just his body. His mind was always elsewhere, his eyes staring at nothing when at one point, they seemed to hold everything. He skipped most lunches, but it felt just as lonely when he did join you. Harry and Gwen would sit by you guys when he showed up, but all conversation would fall flat as he only spoke a few words at a time, if at all.

You still visited their house occasionally, mostly to check up on Aunt May at that point. Winter rolled around before you knew it, and you tramped your way through the snow to bring some gifts to them. May brought you inside, taking your coat and pushing you toward the fireplace. You laughed, happy to see that she seemed better. Despite your protests to rest a little, she had been pouring herself into helping at the local soup kitchen.

“It keeps my mind and body busy. I’ll be okay,” she said, bringing you in for a hug and asking, “Now, dear, did you bring all these for us?” She gestured to the presents.

“Oh, yeah. Hanukkah presents for you and Peter,” you responded.

“I completely forgot. I’m so sorry,” she said. When you waved her off, she offered, “I did make dessert. Is that good enough?”

As soon as she said it, you smelled the wheat cakes from the kitchen. “Oh, May, that is more than enough. Thank you.”

“Great, let me just call Peter down,” she said.

While waiting, you looked around the house. It was a little messier, but not too much had changed, though it felt emptier, colder with only half of you there. The air changed just slightly once Peter walked down the stairs, his head down in his phone. 

Despite everything, it still felt like a breath of fresh air whenever you saw him, like everything was going to be okay. You wished you could make him feel the same way. As the three of you sat down, May uncovered the pile of wheat cakes, the lid still keeping them warm. 

You and Aunt May made talk here and there about classes and the weather, but once your stomachs were happy and full, she nudged Peter’s side. “Peter, it looks like we have some special gifts. Do you want to open them?” she asked.

She sounded like a mother speaking to a child, but it got him to finally look up at you and say something. “Oh, thanks.”

May scoffed at his answer and reached for a small present with her name scribbled across it. She opened it up and laughed, seeing the packet of homemade coupons you’d made. She flipped through it, pointing out some funny ones like “Free dad joke.” But she gasped when she saw others that you had snuck in there, like real coupons for people to come professionally clean or cook for them a couple times a year.

You said, “Gwen and Harry also chipped in for those; they’ve just been pretty busy lately.” A sorry smile spread across your face.

“This is so wonderful, thank you. It will be such a relief to get this place back in order,” she told you, squeezing your hand as she said, “and back to normal.”

You squeezed back, then said, “This one is for you, Peter, though I’m sure both of you will love it.”

Peter took the larger present, unwrapping it a bit haphazardly. He pulled the gift out, revealing a photo album. On the cover, it held a picture of all of you from years ago: Uncle Ben and Aunt May standing in the back while Gwen hopped on Peter’s back for a piggyback ride, and you and Harry were holding up “bunny ears” behind each other’s heads. You had set up a self-timer to get this one, and although it was chaotic, it was the best one you got. And it had always been your favorite.

You spoke up, pointing out pictures as Peter flipped through the pages. “It’s got all of our photos from over the years. There are some of us at the zoo, and there’s one of us hanging up Halloween decorations. Uncle Ben always hated that scarecrow we put up,” you said, laughing at a photo of him posing angrily next to it.

You heard May sniffle as she said, “Oh, it’s perfect. I can’t believe you kept all of these.”

Smiling back at her, you’re thankful they like it, though you noticed Peter getting that faraway look again as he stared at each of the photos. You patted his hand and said, “I left some open spots in case you wanted to add any other pictures. I think it’s missing one of you covered in frosting.”

A small grin graced his face, and it felt like the clouds had opened up just a little, letting in the smallest sliver of sunlight in. He talked about some of the other photos, the three of you reminiscing about all the great times. 

As the night wrapped up, you gave both of them hugs. When you pulled away, though, you saw Peter return to that person you no longer knew. And you stared at him for a moment before waving goodbye, stepping out into the dark, snowy world, not knowing that was one of the last times you’d see him smile at you for years.

Months passed in a blur until a couple of weeks before the school year ended. You hadn’t seen much of Gwen, Harry, or Peter in a while, part of you just accepting this change. It hurt looking over at them and seeing their wide smiles with other friends, so you did your best to ignore them and keep your head down, like old times. 

That was until everything came to a crashing halt. One morning, your parents announced that you would be moving at the end of the school year, across the country, where you would finish your last two years of school. They had gotten new jobs and could get a bigger house, finally giving the family a good life, as your father had put it, but you couldn’t care less. It felt like a punch to the gut, their words lost on your ringing ears. 

You left the house early, your eyes filled with tears. You tried calming your erratic breaths in and out, but they didn’t want to cooperate. You found a park bench to sit on, staring at the grass against your shoes so no one saw your bloodshot eyes. And because it was so sunny out. There were so few clouds in the sky, the blue so stark against the piercing sun. It didn’t feel right for the birds to be singing, people cheerily chatting, and the sun to be so bright on a day like this. On a Tuesday.

You eventually made your way to school early, unable to sit with your tears much longer. Before the bell rang, you stood outside the school entrance waiting for them. The couple of people that would care, that needed to know. 

You found Harry first. He sluggishly walked toward the school, headphones on and mind unaware of the world. You rested your hand on his arm, startling him from his daze with a small gasp.

“Hey!” you said with a small wave. He greeted back with a nod, looking at you expectantly, and the silence felt stifling. Clearing your throat, you asked, “I, um, hope you’re doing well! I was wondering if you wanted to hang out after school today? I have some news, and we could hang out at Peter’s like we used to.”

He breathed in through clenched teeth, squinting his eyes a bit. “I actually have a study group after school today. Maybe tomorrow?” he offered.

You bit your lip, some sort of emotion building in your throat, but you just agreed, saying, “Yeah, we can try that.” He nodded, putting on his headphones and leaving, barely a goodbye falling from his mouth.

Gwen came next. You felt unsure as she walked in with some other science students, but you were determined to tell her. Just like Harry, she offered an apologetic smile. “Today and tomorrow are fundraising events for the org. Maybe Thursday?”

You sighed and nodded your head, your chest welling up even tighter. Through the sea of students, you craned your neck to find Peter. Maybe he would at least say something to change this day around. 

You caught a glimpse of his bouncing brown hair above everyone else, a smile spreading across your face at the sight. Taking quick steps over to him, you tapped his shoulder, but he didn’t stop moving. All he said was, “Oh, I won’t be–”

“Be at lunch, I know,” You said, cutting off his daily mantra. “This is about something else. I have some news I gotta share with you guys, but Gwen and Harry are busy until Friday. Would you be free then for all of us to hang out?” you ask, your heart filled with so much hope, pleading for him to say yes.

“Um…” he said, not looking at you. He finally stopped as he got to his locker, distractedly putting away notebooks and grabbing other ones. “Friday, Friday. This Friday? Uh, oh, actually I can’t. I have plans Friday,” he mumbled, closing his locker.

You’re about to open your mouth and ask what his plans are when he whipped his head to the side and stared with a smile so wide you thought he’d hurt himself. And in that brief moment, you felt that your heart was nearly going to explode from how happy he looked, a peacefulness you hadn’t seen in so long. 

As you turned your head to follow his gaze, your heart instead deflated a bit. He stared head over heels at MJ walking toward the two of you. He said, “Well, actually, there are my Friday plans.”

You pursed your lips and nodded. In a hollow voice, you asked, “Next week, then?” You pushed your fingernails into your palm to distract yourself from the dam about to burst inside you.

“Uh, yeah. Sure,” he said, his eyes never leaving hers. You were almost positive he didn’t even hear what you said, and you turned to walk down the hallway before he could utter another word. You even tried texting them later that day to confirm plans but received vague thumbs-up emojis or a “K.”

And it was on that too-sunny Tuesday that it felt that your friendship with them as you knew it had ended. You thought about texting them a million times, but you were tired – tired of being the one holding on so tight when they would rather let go. So you didn’t tell them.

Those last few weeks at school seemed like it had all those years ago. Your eyes barely seemed to leave the ground, and you stayed up in your room more often than not when you got home every day. You slowly began packing up the house, the walls and floors looking so empty as the day you would shove your life into a car grew closer. 

And though you were still sad or angry or both at your friends, a few days before you left, you were determined to say something to them about your departure, about this end of an era that had already ended. You planned to stop at their houses, one by one, and say goodbye. You wrote up some letters in case they weren’t home to explain your feelings – to Harry, Gwen, Peter, and Aunt May. It somehow felt better than sending off a text or a voicemail since they rarely answered calls anyway. 

You first went to Harry’s, the enormous house standing menacingly over the city. You hadn’t expected him to be home, probably at some study group or event his father required him at, and you were right. Instead, a woman who worked for the family answered the door and let you know that Harry was occupied elsewhere.

You handed her the letter with his name neatly printed on the envelope and thanked her for passing it along to him. You mostly had written about what you hoped for his future life, that you would be sad to miss out on seeing the incredible person you knew he was meant to be. You reminisced here and there but tried keeping it light. 

As you said goodbye to the woman, you saw a man pass through the hallway. His tall figure turned to you, and you knew it was Norman Osborn staring indignantly at you. And then the door shut, and you turned around with your heart in your throat. 

You arrived a bit later to Gwen’s house, and the realization that you were hoping she wasn’t home had you biting your lip. She had once been so happy to have a girl to be friends with, and it had sometimes been hard seeing her have so many that weren’t you. As you pulled up to her street, your stomach dropped a little at seeing how many cars were outside the house.

Knocking on the front door, you found that not only was Gwen home but so was nearly the entire women in science club. Her father opened the door, a look of shock and happiness on her face. “Oh! What a sight for sore eyes! Come in, come in. I didn’t know you were part of Gwen’s club.”

Your words didn’t come easy, but you stumbled out, “Oh, I was actually just here to talk to Gwen, but she seems busy.” You looked past his shoulder and saw her standing in front of the other women, looking like she was practicing a speech with a tall stack of notecards. “Would you be able to give this to her?”

You handed him the envelope. It had her name and some small doodles on the outside. Her dad nodded, taking the letter and giving you a smile before you walked away. Back in your car, you closed your eyes for a few moments and let out a long breath. Most of what you had written was about your happiest memories with her and some of the pride you felt at seeing her become so successful already, not that you were surprised. You had also enclosed a purple hand-pressed flower that you two had made years ago, the rest of them now packed away, as you couldn’t bring yourself to leave them.

And then, you found yourself in front of Peter’s house, parking in the same spot on the street as you always did, only doing so usually felt much happier. Your heart beat in time to your rapid knocking on their door, but it calmed the second your eyes fell upon Aunt May. With an excited “Oh!” she immediately pulled you in for a tight hug and invited you in. Stepping across into the house felt like coming home.

She got to work on offering drinks and snacks as she always did. “I have time to make these fancy snacks now since I don’t have to spend time cleaning. Thank you again for that; it truly is a gift that keeps on giving,” she said, patting your back. “It’s been especially nice since Peter hasn’t been around as much lately to help out.”

Your eyebrows raised, concerned that he had been absent from both school and home. “Speaking of Peter, is he here at the moment?” you asked with a bouncing leg and fingers tight against the letters in your lap.

Her voice sounded quieter, though you hoped it was because her back was to you. “No, he’s out somewhere. Sometimes it’s with that sweet girl MJ, but sometimes he’s been elsewhere,” she said, turning to look at you. “He won’t tell me what’s going on, but he’ll come back bruised, and I’m afraid he’s in trouble. You haven’t seen anything at school, have you?” You shook your head, eyes cast down at the table as you traced a finger along the wood grain. “No, I haven’t really seen much of him there. Is he okay?”

She sighed, putting her head in her hand. “I think so? But I really don’t know with that boy. After Uncle Ben… he’s changed.”

Giving a small nod, you cleared your throat and said, “He’s tough. I’m sure he’s taking care of himself. I, um, I just came by to tell you guys the news. My family is moving, and we leave in a couple of days.” You finally bring your gaze to look at hers, and you almost wish you hadn’t when you see the way her face dropped.

“Oh, dear,” she whispered before crossing the room to you and holding you. The tears that had held in for weeks finally let loose as she wrapped her warm arms around you. She let out quiet shushes and rubbed your back. You eventually pulled back, and she took your hands in hers. You stared down at the sunspots and loving wrinkles adorning the back of her hands and up her body. 

Your tears turned to occasional sniffles, and you handed Peter’s letter to May, asking her to pass it along to him. She carefully took it, her fingers rubbing against the ink of his name with a frown. “I’m sure he will love the letter, but I will make him call you. You deserve a real goodbye, love.”

“It’s okay, May. We don’t really talk much anyway, so I think this is a fine goodbye for us,” you said, your teeth chewing on the inside of your mouth. It turned into a small smile at thinking of what you had written. It was filled with old memories that made you laugh, but it also held your confession and gratitude for how Peter forever changed your life. It was a sappy letter full of love and regret, and you were glad to not have to say any of it out loud.

You were drawn from your thoughts as May spoke up again, saying, “You know, I really do love this Mary Jane. He seems happy with her, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t expect you and him to be together one day.” When you just looked at her with a blank face, she said, “He looked at you with what can only be described as love. Uncle Ben used to have that same look.”

Her words knocked a breath from your chest, and you were too exhausted and unhappy to really entertain the thought of Peter liking you. You were leaving, and that would be the end of it. May, sensing your quiet internal battle, stood up and got to work in the kitchen. While taking out the ingredients, she said, “How about one more batch for old time’s sake?” The two of you ate the wheat cakes in content silence, and you looked at this woman who had become your own aunt, practically your mother, and knew that’s where Peter got his unending kindness from.

A few days later, your family began packing up the car and a trailer of course, of course, on the Tuesday after school ended. Your dad hoped to make it to your new home by the weekend and get settled by that Monday. Sweat pilled on your forehead as you lifted box after box. You were thankful for the heat and work to do to distract yourself from being washed away at the sight of your emptying house.

After setting another box labeled “FRAGILE” into the trailer, you turned around to find Gwen pulling up, tires screeching as she parked crooked and raced out of the car. Her voice rose high as she shouted, “What is this?” She ran to you, holding the letter tight in her hands. “I mean, you’re just up and leaving?”

You opened your mouth to answer but closed it as a sleek car pulled, one you recognized as Harry’s. He popped out of the car, his eyes locked on yours. He was out of breath and his hair wild as he approached the two of you. You had written the time you were planning on leaving but couldn’t help but feel sad that they didn’t read the letters until right before you were meant to drive away.

Harry looked at Gwen and the letter in her hands. “Oh, you got one too! So this isn’t some terrible joke you’re pulling on us?” he asked in disbelief, his eyes scanning over the trailer and boxes.

You played with the hem of your shirt and looked anywhere but them, afraid it would let everything loose. “I tried telling you guys earlier, but…” you said and let out a long breath. You debated letting all your anger and tears out, but you couldn’t destroy everything right before leaving, so you sugar-coated it. “We never got together, and you guys were pretty busy. I just thought it’d be easier this way.”

As Gwen pulled you into a hug, and you soon felt Harry’s body join in, you whispered, “I’m going to miss you guys.” You willed yourself to keep it in, to just focus on the way Gwen’s hair brushed against your skin and the way Harry’s breath tickled against your ear, and the fact that they showed up to say goodbye. You tried to sear this moment in your mind.

When the three of you pulled back, they offered to help you pack things into the trailer. Your parents were ecstatic to see them, inviting them in for some car ride snacks and bottled water. In an instant, you were back in middle school again, cracking jokes and messing with each other. 

A little bit later, you found yourself outside trying to pack a lamp at just the right angle with Harry. It was just the two of you out there, Gwen inside helping your parents grab the very last things. You finally got it to fit perfectly and high-fived each other with wide smiles. 

As his grin faded, he cleared his throat and said, “I came to say goodbye, obviously, but I also wanted to say thank you.” At your furrowed eyebrows, he continued, “Thank you for what you said in the letter, I mean. I can get pretty lost in my own head sometimes, and I’m grateful when you bring me back.”

You rested your head on his shoulder, knowing you didn’t have to say anything. He knew you’d always be there for him. Gwen and your parents came back out, and it was time. She came and gave a final hug, weepily saying, “You better send us pictures of out west, or else.” 

It gets a teary laugh out of you, and you responded, “As long as you send pictures of you as valedictorian or the president of the U.S., whichever happens first.”

The three of you said your goodbyes, and it took a bit long to finally let go. In the embrace, you still peered out on the street, looking for one last car to show up. But it never did. You eventually got into the car and waved at Gwen and Harry as it pulled away. Trees and grass and buildings and people you had come to love passed by in a blur. You let out a long sigh, thinking of whether your letter to Peter just  wasn’t enough for him to show up.

Peter,

I hope you’re doing well.

I feel like I should know how you’re doing, but it seems lately that we are on two different islands, like there’s an ocean between us or something. Maybe that’s a bit dramatic for describing our friendship, but I wish I could’ve visited your island more often.

Would it be dramatic to say you changed my life? I hope you remember that day we were paired up for that science project because I’ve never forgotten – not the way Dr. Pepper exploded all over you or the way you invited me into your life. The Parkers became a second family to me, to all of us, and I could never repay you for that kindness. 

I’m sure by now you have that classic Peter look of confusion on your face, wondering why this letter feels like a goodbye. Do you know that one Winnie the Pooh quote that goes “How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” In looking for a bit of the bright side in this dark sky, I guess the distance between us has made saying goodbye a little less hard.

The bottom line: I’m leaving on Tuesday, sometime before noon. We’ll be across the country by the weekend, and I’ll finish up school there. I planned to tell you all in person, but I guess we never quite found the right time. Between you and me, I still think about how our friendship could’ve been. How we ended up here. What we could’ve done differently to get that happy ending.

I hope you come to say goodbye or at least harass me while I pack my stuff. I miss the way things were, Peter. How it felt so easy for the four of us, how easy you made my life. But our friendship doesn’t feel easy anymore, and I’m not sure I can keep our friendship alive by myself. Hopefully, I’ll be here for you again when you come back to us.

I still wonder where you went after that night, mentally I mean. I’m so sorry about everything with Uncle Ben. He truly was a beacon of light, and I still see that in you. And though you never talked to us about it, I sincerely hope you figure things out someday. 

And also figure out how special you are. You truly have a gift to be shared with the world. Can’t wait to see you in the news one day. Go easy on yourself, and please give Aunt May some extra hugs for me while I’m gone.

You had drawn a quick heart at the end with watery eyes and attached old photos of the group, your favorite memories scribbled onto the back. You hoped the tears that had fallen on the page were dry now and unnoticeable. 

The welcome sign to the next city flew past the car, and you laid back against the headrest. You guess all it took for your friends to reunite was your leaving, and yet it wasn’t enough for Peter to show. You rubbed your eyes with the back of your hand. In that bumpy car ride, leaving your home and a piece of your heart there, you promised this would be the last time you let Peter make you feel this way.

And you didn’t know it until years later, but Peter did show up. His ratty car sputtered onto the street and parked halfway in the grass, the other half making it in the driveway. Neither you or your family were there, your car having left just an hour earlier. But you had already blocked his number in your determination to keep him from breaking your heart again. As your eyes stared out the window, watching the way the world passed by, you refused to look back.

Part two

#peter parker angst #peter parker x reader #peter parker fluff #tasm andrew garfield #tasm peter parker x reader #andrew garfield spider man #tasm peter parker #friends to lovers #peter parker x fem!reader

[swanslieutenant]

If the Stars Align - Chapter XIII

Summary: The Musketeers AU. Danger lurks around every corner in the French court and as a Musketeer in service of the royal family, Killian’s duty is to protect them from any and all threats. As his relationship with Queen Emma develops into something more than just friendship, threats against the queen escalate and put everything they hold dear into jeopardy.

Rating: M

Content warning for the story: violence, mature themes, minor character death.

Chapter warning: Some more violence in this one.

Art by @hook-and-star-ink​ , @acaptainswaneternity and @seastarved. Follow this to check all the pieces currently published and give them some love!  

Catch Up on tumblr: ch1, ch2, ch3,  ch4, ch5, ch6, ch7, ch8, ch9, ch10, ch11, ch12

AO3: ch13

The funeral takes place three days later. It’s a quiet affair, hosted in a local church with few guests. When the king learned of Captain Humbert’s death, he wanted to host a lavish funeral, with full military honours, but that wasn’t something the captain would have wanted. He was a simple man, honourable and loyal, and he would have wanted a quiet, dignified service instead of one full of people he’d never met.

At the church, squashed between a sniffling Will and a stony David in one of the pews, Killian is numb to everything around him. Lancelot’s eulogy and the priest’s words wash over him, an incoherent hum drowned out by the words on repeat in his mind.

This is my fault.

None of the other Musketeers have said anything of the sort, but he knows they’re thinking it. In the three days since Captain Humbert’s death, Killian can count on one hand the amount of times someone has made eye contact with him or said anything not related to their work duties. And, honestly, he can’t blame them – the words the Musketeers aren’t saying are the same words he’s been asking himself for three days.

Why didn’t you let Robin kill Regina?

Captain Humbert would be alive if you did.

Robin blames you.

Killian hasn’t seen Robin since Captain Humbert’s death, but he knows that one is the truest of them all. Will mentioned briefly that he’s staying at La Lune, too upset to be anywhere near the barracks right now, not with Captain Humbert’s belongings still there, not when three days ago, he was alive and well.

David and Will suddenly get to their feet beside him, others rising behind them, and the small church fills with a low, conversational hum. The priest must’ve finished the sermon, dismissing the mourners, and Killian gets to his feet too. Though the other Musketeers remain at the front of the church, talking quietly to the priest, Killian follows the crowd as they all shuffle to the back of the church, desperately needing some fresh air.

In the last row of pews, three women remain seated as the rest of the church files out. They are all dressed the same, black veils over their heads, simple black gowns with not a drop of ornamentation. No one pays them any attention, thinking them other mourners, but Killian pauses beside them – he would recognize that golden hair anywhere, even hidden under veil.

“You didn’t have to come, Your Majesty.”   

“Of course I did,” Emma replies, gaze over his shoulder on the closed casket at the front of the church, her voice solemn and quiet. “Captain Humbert was a loyal soldier, one who died in my service. I had to come and pay my respects.”

She glances to him, and though Killian thinks he’s kept his emotions pretty well hidden under a stony face, he knows instantly he hasn’t fooled her. She leans forward, resting a hand on his arm, squeezing his arm.

“Are you alright?”

“’Course.”

She frowns, unconvinced, but Killian is spared a further lie because Lancelot arrives at his side, bowing slightly at Emma when he realizes it’s her.

“We’re going out to the gravesite now.”

Killian and Lancelot return to the front of the church to help David and Will carry out the casket while Emma and her two ladies exit the church. The weight of the coffin is heavy, but nothing compared to the weight of the guilt, and he relishes the ache he feels in his just-healed chest wound as he shifts his weight.

He almost falters as he steps out of the church, his gaze focusing in on the freshly dug grave across the small cemetery. There’s a small crowd there, and they part as they bring the casket down the slope, lowering it with ropes into the ground.

The priest steps forward to speak once more, but his words are meaningless; Captain Humbert can’t hear the praises and compliments, can’t chuckle at the funny anecdotes, can’t do anything anymore.

And it’s all Killian’s fault.

The crowd starts to shift away, murmuring quietly to each other, but Killian doesn’t move. David notices, and claps him on the back, squeezing his shoulder.

“We’ll be at the barracks. When you’re ready.”

He nods numbly, staring at the gave and wishing, wishing he’d been the one shot by Regina instead, if only to not feel this enormous guilt and regret weighing him down like an anchor.

“He was a good man.”

The voice startles him out of his daze and he realizes Emma is there beside him, staring sadly at the grave. They’re the only two remaining in the cemetery now, even Emma’s ladies gone, their only company the sweetly singing robins in the nearby willow trees.

Killian nods and swallows deeply. “Aye. He was.”

He allows her to turn him away from the grave a few minutes later, and with no one else around and her veil still covering her features, she links her arm with his, leaning her head on his shoulder.

“Let’s go for a walk.”

She leads them away from the grave, the pair of them walking in silence. It’s not until they’ve reached the small path on the outskirts of the cemetery that Killian speaks, the words spilling out of him like wind forced from his lungs from a sucker punch.

“It’s my fault.”

“It is not your fault –” Emma counters immediately, but now that he’s started talking, the words keep coming, a relentless downpour.  

“It is. I stopped Robin from killing Regina and she turned right around and shot Captain Humbert. If I hadn’t stopped Robin, if I had just let him shoot her, then the captain would still be alive.”

Emma moves to stand opposite him, bracing her hands on his arms. “That’s because you are a good man too, Killian. Captain Humbert would be proud of you. You showed her mercy by not letting Robin kill her. It’s not your fault she’s a monster.”

“I didn’t do it for her,” he grinds out, shaking his head; he won’t let her try and talk him out of this. “I did it – I did it because we needed answers, and because ... because as much as he hates her, Robin couldn’t have lived with himself if he killed her. And now because of that, Captain Humbert is lying in the cold ground and it’s my fault.”

Emma rests her hand on his upper arm, squeezing his arm tightly. “Then you did it for your friend, Killian. And that is what good men do.”

He just shakes his head. He’s not a good man, not at all. He’s standing there, feet from the fresh grave with Emma, the Queen of France, who could die just like Captain Humbert because of him.

In the chaos and mind-numbing pain of the last week, Cardinal Gold’s dark comment and darker eyes had drifted to the back of his mind, ever present but lurking on the edge of his conscious. And now, with a moment of privacy and silence, he tells Emma what he heard.

She listens with narrowed eyes, and doesn’t say anything for a few moments when he’s done talking. Then she shakes her head, her grip tightening on his arm, and she tosses her hair over her shoulder.

“I don’t know if Gold does suspect something from what you’ve said, but he doesn’t scare me. He’s never scared me. We’ll just have to be more careful when he’s around from now on, okay?”

“Emma, it’s becoming too dangerous –”

Her eyes flash, and she barrels right over him. “I don’t care what Gold thinks he knows or doesn’t. I’m not losing you, Killian. My whole life has been one of order and performing the wishes of everyone else, and I haven’t felt like myself in a long time … not until a good man treated me like I was just a normal woman.”

She steps forward, pulling the veil up and over her head, and cups his face in her hands. He wonders if he’s ever noticed how green her eyes really are, how they sparkle like gems in the sunlight.

“I love you, Killian.”

He stares back at her, stunned. Then he surges forward, capturing her lips with his, and she wraps her arms around his neck. He can taste salt on her lips, and he’s not sure if its her tears or his. He holds her around the waist, pulling her closer, both of them holding each as close as possible, as if they’re each the others’ lifeline, as if no one else in the world matters. Gold, the king, Death himself – they and their threats fall away, and it’s just Emma and Killian, time standing still around them.

He closes his eyes again when they break apart finally, leaning his forehead against hers and savouring this precious moment.

“I love you too.”

In light of Captain Humbert’s death, Lancelot is named the new captain of the Musketeers. There’s normally a ceremony of great pomp and circumstance, held at the Louvre itself, but this time the transition of power is quiet, the mantle passed on too soon and no cause for celebration.

A week after the funeral, Lancelot summons Killian, David, Will, and Robin to the office. Robin finally returned to the barracks a few days ago, eyes bloodshot and face thin, and he’s been quiet since, keeping to himself and talking to no one. In fact, the Musketeers have hardly said anything to each other at all, each grieving in their own way, and when Lancelot summons them, Killian assumes this meeting is going to be about how they’ll all have to move forward and leave their grief behind.

He and David are the last to arrive to the office, and Killian pauses in the doorway, taking in the room, feeling like he’s been punched in the gut. The office is full of Captain Humbert’s things – his jacket, his boots, his personal effects – and the sight of all of it, abandoned and left behind, makes Killian want to run in the opposite direction.

David nudges him forward and into the room, and Killian swallows those feelings away. Robin and Will are already seated, staring at the floor, and once they’re all seated, Lancelot begins. With seriousness dripping from his voice, he explains that everyone needs to trust each other, especially in the light of what has happened. Everyone needs to stop blaming themselves – here he glances pointedly to Robin and Killian – and focus on who really is responsible.

Regina.

The door to the office edges open, revealing a nervous recruit, and he steps into the room.

“Sir –”

“Not now,” Lancelot says shortly, frowning at the interruption. “I asked not to be interrupted.”

The young man doesn’t move. “I know, but sir – this is an emergency. It’s – it’s her. She’s here.” 

Killian has no idea who he means, but he takes in the young man’s clenched fists, teeth gritted together in anger, and he realizes only one person could cause such a reaction.

The others all come to the same conclusion, and everyone shoots to their feet, out the door in seconds and clambering over each other to look down into the courtyard from their place on the second level of the barracks.

Standing there, the recruits giving her a wide berth, with a sublime smile and dressed as if she should be attending a royal ball instead of a grieving soldiers’ barracks, is Regina.

Will lets out a roar of anger, and shoves the others out of his way.

“What the bloody hell are you doing here?”

He jumps down the steps two at a time, hand already drawing his pistol. Killian is the closest behind him, and sees Will raise the pistol, but he doesn’t move to stop him – he saved this woman once already, and look where that got them.

David must sense Killian’s inaction, because he leaps ahead, grabbing Will’s arms and pulling him backs.

“Don’t kill her, Will,” he says, shooting Regina a deadly glare as he holds Will back. “We’re not murderers like her.”

Lancelot and Robin join them in the courtyard, the Musketeers fanning out in a line to face her. Robin stands stiffly, his eyes betraying nothing but a cold hatred as he surveys his estranged wife.

On her part, Regina surveys them all with a smirk, but Killian notices she’s missing her usual oomph. She lifts her hands up in surrender, and says, coolly, “There’s no need for violence, gentlemen. I come in peace.”

“You don’t know the meaning of peace,” Will snarls, pulling hard at David’s arms.

Regina levels a cold glare at him, and lifts her chin with a touch of defiance. “I know you all hate me, and you have every right to. But you’re going to want to hear what I have to say.”

“There’s nothing you can say,” Killian says, starting to feeling sick at her casual entrance into their barracks, as if she has no care in the world the man she killed used to live upstairs. “You’ve done enough.”

Her jaw tightens. “Be that as it may, you’ll want to hear this.”

Lancelot crosses his arms over his chest, narrowing his eyes. “What is it?”

She shakes her head, eyes flickering over Killian for a moment, and he really feels sick now.

“In private.”

It’s a tense walk back up to the office, and this time it’s almost harder for Killian to enter, to see Regina where Captain Humbert once lived. The others don’t seem to notice, and Will snaps, “Get on with it” the moment the door swings shut behind Robin.

Regina levels another cool, unimpressed glance at Will before her eyes flick to Killian. The bad feeling magnifies, cold and terrible and –

“The Cardinal knows there is something between you and the queen.”

The floor drops out from under him.

No, no –

He leans against the doorframe, winded. Robin’s eyes burn a hole through him, while the other three Musketeers stare at Killian, totally bewildered.

“What are you on about?” David demands. “The Cardinal knows about what?”

Killian doesn’t say anything. He can’t focus on thinking of a way to explain this to them, when all he can think about now is what he’s done, what he’s done to Emma, what this will do to the both of them.

Robin sighs angrily when it becomes apparent Killian won’t be saying anything. He too ignores the others, and glares at Regina.

“How do you know that?”

But before she can answer, Lancelot holds up a hand. “Wait – wait, there – there is something between you and the queen?”

Killian manages a nod, and the Musketeers gape at him. Lancelot looks like he’s been stunned after a brutal blow, David’s eyes are wide, and Will’s jaw drops open.

“You and the queen? The queen? Mate –”

“Now’s not the time to worry about your comrade’s bedroom affairs,” Regina snaps. “The cardinal knows and he’s going to use it against her. He’s going to arrest Jones and try to execute Queen Emma because of the affair.”

Execute.

Oh God –

“But how do you know that?” Robin asks again. He straightens abruptly then, realization dawning in his eyes. “It was him, wasn’t it? He’s the one who hired you to try to kill Queen Emma.”

The Musketeers turn their attention away from Killian, the room falling deathly quiet as they stare at Regina. She sighs, looking uncomfortable, and nods.

“Yes, it was him.”

“Why?” Lancelot demands. “Why would Cardinal Gold want her dead?”

Regina shrugs, as if it’s obvious. “He wants to be the pope.”

No one says anything, confusion settling over them, and Will lets out a barked laugh.

“Am I the only one not seeing any logic here? How is killing our queen gonna make Gold the pope?”

Regina waves her hand impatiently. “I know you lot are soldiers, but think for a moment about politics, okay? The Italians have their candidate for the next pope already, so to become pope, Gold would need the support of the Spanish cardinals. They won’t support him while the French queen is a Protestant, and well, they want one of their princesses as queen instead. If Queen Emma wasn’t around anymore ...”

“I don’t understand,” David says into the silence lingering after Regina’s sentence. “If Gold needs Queen Emma out of the way to be pope, why not make the king divorce her? Kings have done that before, and Emma wouldn’t have to die.”

“You’ve been hit around the head too much, haven’t you?” Regina says, rolling her eyes as if David is the biggest fool alive. “Catholics can’t divorce, remember? Last time a king tried that, all of England left the Church. Just ask your friend Jones here.”

His heart skips a beat as the Musketeers all look over to him again. The last thing he needs right now is his English heritage dumped out in front of him too, something he doesn’t know how Regina could possibly know about either.

“What?”

Regina sighs, and shakes her head. “Forget about that for now. We’ve got more pressing matters, yes?”

Though their eyes linger on Killian for a moment, they look away and back to Regina.

“Even if what you’re saying is true, that this – this affair with Killian is true, the king will never kill the queen,” Lancelot says, stubbornly.

“The cardinal has more influence than you think,” Regina replies darkly. “Why do you think you lot weren’t allowed near the Louvre for weeks after my bandits failed at St. Meissa? And now this – he’ll say it will be an embarrassment to let her live or for the king to allow her crime to be so lightly punished. He’ll manipulate the king into killing her, no matter what that idiot of a monarch actually wants. He’ll tell him it’ll be more secure for the Dauphin’s future if his mother is gone and no longer able to influence him, or something of the sort. Trust me. He’s got it sorted out.”

The room is starting to feel overwhelmingly hot, and Killian sinks against the doorframe even more heavily.

He needs to talk to Emma right now.

“Why the bloody hell should we trust you?” Will snarls. “You’re the reason our captain is dead. What’s to say this ain’t a ploy to get us all and the queen to boot?”

She straightens, her eyes turning icy. “You can either believe me, or not, but if you don’t, both your queen and your friend will die.”

No one says anything for a long while. Killian’s about to just leave them all here, turn on his heel and head straight to the Louvre, when Robin speaks again, voice wary.

“If you’re wrong –”

“I’m not.”

“Why tell us?” Lancelot demands. “This seems out of character for you.”

She shifts, now looking distinctly uncomfortable, and she glances over to Killian, eyes unreadable. “You saved me at Saint-Eustache. Warning you about this makes us equal.”

Killian stares at her for a long moment, arms crossed and eyes dark. She meets his gaze evenly, and though revulsion rises in him – this woman has tried to kill Emma multiple times, succeeded in killing Captain Humbert and Monsieur Gillert, she didn’t have to warn him about this. And yet, here she is.

Forgiveness or anything of the sort is nowhere in sight, but he nods tightly, accepting her word; he can recognize good form when he sees it.

He pulls away from the doorway, hand dropping to the sword at his belt, and regards his fellow Musketeers with a tight jaw, determination etching itself into his posture.

“I have to tell Emma.”

Emma takes the news as well as can be expected. She listens in silence to Robin’s explanation of the events, eyes dark and serious, and when he’s done, looks over to Killian. He’s sure she must see the fear in his eyes before he can mask it, and she turns back to the others.

“Can you give us a moment, please?”

The Musketeers don’t move, David crossing his arms over his chest, Will and Lancelot raising their eyebrows and looking between Emma and Killian with pointed stares.

Emma’s eyes flash, and she drops her hands to hips. “A minute please, gentlemen.”

Her voice offers no chances for arguments, and they shoot Killian dark looks as they skulk reluctantly through the west doors. As soon as the door shuts, leaving Emma and Killian alone and with the sound echoing up through the large hall, words spill out from Killian, unbidden.

“I’m so sorry, Emma, I never meant for this to happen. I’ll send in my resignation before he does anything, get out of Paris as quick as I can.”

Emma shakes her head vehemently. “You’re not going to resign. If you leave in a rush, it’ll tell Gold he’s right.” She takes his hands, holding them tightly. “This – this is the worst-case scenario, but we’ll figure something out, together. Okay?”

She stands on her tip toes to wrap her arms around him, pulling him tightly against her and pressing a kiss against his cheek.

The east doors fling open, so suddenly that they spring apart as if jolted by lightning. Cardinal Gold strides into the hall, spreading his arms wide in exclamation, with a cohort of Red Guards filing in behind him.

“Well, isn’t this precious. Caught in the act.”

Emma steps in front of Killian, twisting to push him slightly behind her, but doesn’t release his hand.

“What do you want, Cardinal?”

“I’m not here for you, dearie,” he says loudly, and his eyes slide to Killian, dark and triumphant. “You, Killian Jones, are an English spy, sent here by the English king to undermine the stability of the French court, and as such, you are hereby charged with adultery and high treason, and are ordered executed three days hence.” He flicks his head to the Red Guards, and they step forward automatically. “Seize him.”

His heart stops, and Emma fully in front of now, raising one hand and standing to her full height as the Red Guards advance.

“I forbid you to touch him. Do so, and you yourself disobey your monarch and I will have you charged with treason.”

Even though these are Red Guards, loyal to no one but Gold, they do hesitate, staring uncertainly between her and Gold.

The cardinal sighs, annoyed. “I had hoped to avoid any unpleasantries, but you leave me no choice.” He withdraws a scroll from his cloak, unrolling it and reading aloud: “By order of His Majesty, the King of France, you, madame, are to be confined to your chambers until such time the king has determined what a suitable punishment for your crimes of adultery and treason.”

The floor drops out from Killian the second time that day, and Emma’s shoulders stiffen. Her grip on his hand tightens, and she doesn’t move from Killian’s side.

“Did you know your lover was an English spy, Your Majesty?” Gold asks, voice quiet. “No doubt your whispered pillow conversations are already the daily dinner talk of the English court. Or perhaps you’re a spy with him too? After all, heretics tend to group together.”

Emma doesn’t even flinch. “You are a liar, Cardinal. This is an order from you, not the king.”

Gold laughs a demented giggle, sending chills up the back of Killian’s neck at the sound. “You can look at the warrant, dearie. But I assure you the royal seal is there. Let’s not waste our time with any more stall tactics you have up your sleeves. I have been authorized to use any sort of force necessary to comply with the king’s wishes; shall we move up the traitor’s execution date to right now, or will you both come quietly?”

Again, neither Emma or Killian move. Killian looks around the room, judging how long it would take for him to grab Emma and run to the west doors across the hall before the Red Guards could shoot them, and almost as if Gold senses Killian’s thoughts, the cardinal stiffens and gestures his guards forward.

“Arrest them.”

This time, the guards obey, marching forward and grab them both by their arms. Killian is pulled roughly away, his hand ripped from Emma’s, and he thrashes against their grasp. Two more descend upon him, pulling him back so roughly he nearly falls to the ground.

Emma tries to break free of her guards too, stomping on their feet and twisting her body out of their hands, but they pull her back, holding her still as Gold steps forward.

“This is what happens to people who get in my way,” he says softly, his voice is as cold as if the Devil himself was speaking. “I’d stop fighting if I were you, Your Majesty. Lest you want him tortured before I kill him.”

Emma’s eyes turn hard and stony, and Gold’s lips edge up into a mockery of a smile as she stops pulling at the guards. Smirking he turns around and flicks his hand at the Red Guards.

“Get the rest of the Musketeers when they come in. None of them leave here except in chains, understood?”

Guards head towards the west doors, and by chance one of the doors opens a crack, David sticking his head into the room to see what is going on.

“Get out of here!” Killian screams; he can’t take everyone down with him too.

The guards holding him punch him hard in the stomach, and he buckles over in pain. When he looks up again, gasping and panting, the Red Guards are just wrenching the door open again, exiting the room to chase after the Musketeers.

“Now, now,” Gold says, anger flashing in his eyes. “That’s enough of that. Take these traitors away, him to the Bastille, the queen to her rooms. Now!”

Killian is winded from the punch, but he still pulls furiously at the guards holding him as they wrench him upright. One of them punches him again, this time across the face, and his head snaps backwards, his cheek exploding in pain.

“Stop!” Emma shouts.

She’s struggling with her own guards, but there’s no chance for either of them. Her guards pull her out towards one set of doors, Killian’s to another, and her shout of anger and his shout of her name are the last thing Killian hears before the guard punches him across the face again, the world going black and silent in an instant.

#cs ff #csbb #captain swan #captain swan big bang #cs mc ff #fic: if the stars align #sorry in advance but also not sorry because pain and angst are my middle names

[falcqns]

Hii i have this request in mind like Chris Evans x Actress! Singer! Reader like the reader and chris dated for 3y idk but they broke up but the reader always visit chris’ family bc she treated them like family aswell specialy when the reader’s parents died so she spend Christmas there or any occasions bc chris’ family invite her and when chris got a new gf the reader is kinda hurt bc she still love chris but she try to look like she doesn’t care but then she released her new song its called deja vu (by olivia rodrigo) and she release it to her bday so when the song is released the fans knew its abt chris bc of the new gf (chris’ fam doesn’t like the new gf and the fans kinda didn’t support them bc of the girl’s attitude) and chris’ family invites her over bc they want to show the reader something and when the reader got there they surprise her for her bday and congratulate her and turns out chris is there too with his new gf🤨and the reader knew chris’ new gf hated her bc of her look and scott called you all to the living room and watch the mv of the reader’s new song and when the mv ends scott and the fam congratuleted the reader and chris’ gf is giving the reader looks again and chris is noticing it and when the reader is in the kitchen alone getting something chris talk to her and congratulate her and chris’ new gf wrapped her arms around chris and chris tried to stop her to make a scene but she started a scene and scream at the reader but the reader cut her off and embarrassing her and the reader prove the new gf shes first not her (idk if that make sense lol) and the new gf leave(idk you can make her a random name so its not only “new gf”) and the reader and chris talk and they got back together, you can do wha you want at the end this is just so random bc i was listening to deja vu and advance thank you if you do my request! Stay safe! ❤️ and im so sorry if this is so long

Deja Vu

pairing: Chris Evans x singer!reader

warnings: parents death, major angst, fluff. 

a/n: thank you for the request! Hope you enjoy!

You had known Chris since college, when you had met him in your communications class. You two had grown close quickly, and became best friends. 

He brought you home every Christmas Eve, before you would go home to your parents house on Christmas Day. You had always felt like a part of the family, so when your parents passed a way, you turned to him. 

You and your parents were driving home from a Christmas Day church service, when you were hit by a semi truck. It had completely totalled the car, and your parents had died on impact. You had been sitting in the back, and only had a broken leg from where your moms seat had been pushed back into it roughly. 

You had been pulled from the car and sat in a second ambulance, while your parents were transported in another. You knew you'd never forget watching that ambulance door close and drive away, knowing that was the last time you'd ever see them. 

When the police officers asked if there was anyone you could call, you didn't know what to do. Your parents were both only children, so you had no aunts, uncles or cousins. You were an only child too, so you had no siblings, and your grandparents had passed when you were little, your other ones passing before you were born. 

So when the officer asked you, you told him the Evans’ phone number. Lisa picked up on the second ring, and you tearfully explained what had happened as the shock wore off. She immediately said she’d meet you at the hospital, and not to worry, that she and Bob would take care of you. 

You were taken to the hospital and treated for your broken leg. Less than an hour after you arrived, Lisa arrived at the hospital with Chris in tow. They comforted you, and took you home with them. You stayed in Chris’s room for the first few days, and when you were given your own room, you still had a hard time sleeping alone, so Chris ended up in your bed with you most nights, not that he minded. 

You never went back to college, and instead turned to singing as a release from all the pain you were feeling. You started out posting covers on YouTube, and gradually progressed to getting a record deal with Interscope Records, which didn't surprise anyone who knew you. You had immense talent, and your parents used to tell you that they were counting down the days before you were a celebrity. 

When Chris graduated college and told you he was moving to Los Angeles, he convinced you to come with him. Prices were high in LA, and he didn't want to be separated from you for too long, so you joined him. He got to be an actor, and you got to be a singer, which is what you both had wanted since you were younger. 

You went to every one of Chris’s movie premieres, and he attended as many of your live shows as he could. You supported him through all his relationships and his breakups, and played the middle man whenever he and Jenny would fight, up until the very end. You told yourself you did that because you just wanted what's best for him, but you both kind of knew that wasn't the reason at all. 

Throughout your time living together, you friendship grew, as did your feelings for each other. You'd be lying if you didn't have a small crush on him in college, and those feelings only grew as time went on, especially since the two of you decided to only get a one bedroom apartment. Mainly because it was cheap, but also because Chris made a decision a week after your parents death to never allow you to sleep alone because of the nightmares that would occur if he wasn't there.

So, when you won your first award for your first album, named ‘hand in hand’, he kissed you the second you came off the stage with your award in hand. It blew your mind that he felt the same, but you were happy nonetheless. You two began dating that night, and everything was perfect. 

Until, you were invited by 5 Seconds of Summer to be their opening act on their newest tour. You had agreed, and Chris let you go. You two had been dating for over 3 years, and you thought your relationship would be fine. 

You quickly realized however that that wasn't the case, when the two of you started fighting less than two weeks into the tour. The fights weren't anything major, more petty things like ‘did you change the Netflix password’ or ‘why did you take this piece of clothing, that was mine and it was my favourite.’ All around stupid fights. 

You had turned to Calum, who you were closest with, and he consoled you as much as you could. You realized however, that you couldn't be with Chris anymore when he drunk called you in the middle of the night while you were in the UK and got angry with you when you answered and told him to call you back in the morning when he was sober, to which he proceeded to brag that he slept with his co star at the time, Jessica Alba, you freaked out and ended things. 

You got a message from Jessica on instagram the next day letting you know that they did not sleep together, and that she was sorry he even said it. You assured her it was fine, and felt relief.

Relief because you got to the bottom of the situation, but also relief from your relationship. You didn't know what happened in those few weeks, but you knew the relationship was turning toxic, and you wanted to stop it before that happened. Neither you or Chris needed that. You told him you’d find a new place to live, and by the time tour ended, you bought yourself a house in Beverly Hills, and moved out of the apartment.

Chris moved out not long after, and bought his own house. He had tried to stay friends with you, but you didn't want that at that point in time. You were still hurting, and needed time to heal. 

Once you felt ready to date again, you were asked to be Calum’s date to the Peoples Choice Awards, you accepted. You knew Chris would be there, and you were hoping to talk to him, and maybe work it out. He had told you during the break up that he would always wait for you to come back, and that he still loved you, and always would. 

But you knew that wasn't the case when he showed up on the red carpet, with a new actress named Myra Woodfield. You had smiled at him, while trying not to break down inside, but he gave you a dirty look and rolled his eyes at you when Calum wrapped his arm around your waist for a picture. You furrowed your eye brows and took a good look at Myra. 

She looked almost exactly like you. Same build, same hair colour, same eye colour. The only difference is that she was slightly taller than you. You didn't know why he was replacing you, but it hurt. You pushed it out of your head however, and enjoyed the night with your best friend. 

It was a few months later when you were awoken by the constant dinging of your phone. You unlocked it, and saw you had a lot of unread messages from Luke, Ashton, Michael, Calum, and your other best friend Ashe about Chris’s new movie trailer, you sighed. 

You watched the trailer, and sighed when it looked like a recreation of a bunch of moments in your relationship with him, only Myra was in your place. 

Your fans and some of Chris’s had commented on it, and Myra immediately became aggressive with them, and insulted them. She told them that you were a nobody who could make Chris happy, which she was glad about because she made him happy how. 

Within minutes of this happening the hashtag #cancelmyrawoodfield was trending on twitter. You shamelessly went through the tweets and like and retweeted a couple. Then an idea popped in your head.

With a quick google search, you had a plan. 

You had written a new song called Deja Vu after the peoples choice awards, and it was had been recorded a few weeks ago, and you just had to decide on a date to release it, and make a decision on the music video. Her birthday was in about 3 months, which gave you enough time to get everything in place to drop on her birthday. 

Was it evil? Yes. Did you care? Not really. Besides, you inherited your pettiness from your mother and you knew she’d be proud of you. You called your manager and label, and got it planned out. 

When the new music video had been announced, Lisa called you and invited you home to watch it premiere with the family. You accepted, knowing Chris and Myra would be there, and that her birthday would get overshadowed by the release of your music video.

So, three weeks later, you were sitting with Lisa, Bob, Carly, Shanna, Scott, Chris and Myra in Lisa’s living room, waiting for the video to premiere.

Scott had picked you up at the airport earlier in the morning along with Carly and Shanna, and the four of you had a laugh about the face that no one acknowledged Myra’s birthday, not even Chris. It was mean, but no one liked her. 

Lisa absolutely hated her, but didn't want to upset Chris, so you got a call shortly after the PCA’s from her and the two of you ranted about her for a good two hours. 

You watched as the timer counted down from 10, and then the screen turned black. You took a deep breath and watched Chris out of the corner of your eye. 

You had searched for a while for a guy who looked similar to Chris, and you stumbled on Andrew Siwicki. He didn't look exactly like Chris, but it was close enough that everyone would know who the song was about if they didn't already. Andrew was a fan of Chris and hated Myra too, so he was more than glad to help you out. 

The music began to play, and you watched as the black screen faded in on two people walking along the beach, holding hands. 

“Car rides to Malibu Strawberry ice cream One spoon for two And trading jackets Laughing 'bout how small it looks on you,”

The next scene was a recreation of yours and Chris’s first date where you two had a picnic on the beach, and ended up splashing each other with the ocean water. Towards the end, everyone watched as Andrew picked you up and threw you into the water the same way Chris always did. 

You glanced at him, and could have burst into laughter at how uncomfortable Chris looked, but more importantly how angry Myra looked. 

“Watching reruns of Glee Being annoying Singing in harmony I bet she's bragging To all her friends, saying you're so unique, hmm,”

The next scene was you and Andrew (who was dressed as Ransom) on what appeared to be a recreation of the Knives Out set, running around with a dog that looked like Dodger chasing after you, the two of you laughing. The next shot was the two of you kissing behind a trailer, seemingly hiding from production. 

“So when you gonna tell her That we did that too? She thinks it's special But it's all reused That was our place, I found it first I made the jokes you tell to her when she's with you,”

The next scene was the two of you driving through Southern California, in a car that was almost identical to Chris’s. You two were laughing and singing along to the song, your hair whipping around you.

You took a deep breath, knowing this next scene would piss him right off.

“Do you get déjà vu when she's with you? Do you get déjà vu? (Ah), hmm Do you get déjà vu, huh?”

This scene was you, along with the rest of Chris’s family sitting around a living room that looked like the one you were in now, a Christmas tree full of presents in the corner. The camera panned across everyone as everyone was talking and settled on you and Andrew and the two of you recreated the scene where Chris whispered in your ear how much he loved you, and couldn't wait to start a family with you. 

“Do you call her Almost say my name? 'Cause let's be honest We kinda do sound the same,”

The screen showed you and Andrew saying goodbye at the airport, with 5 Seconds of Summer standing behind you. They weren't actually there when you left for tour, but Luke suggested it to piss Chris off, and you had agreed. 

Then there was a small montage of clips from tour, including a shot of Michael elbow dropping Ashton into a pool, which made everyone laugh, except Chris and Myra. The montage was followed up by you sitting on the floor of a dressing room and crying as you sent a text that said “I’m done.”

“Another actress I hate to think that I was just your type,”

Now you were on the red carpet, with Calum right beside you. You both were wearing the same clothes you wore on that night, you hair and makeup recreated perfectly. The camera unfocused on you as you turned and looked at Andrew and an actress named Alexa Morrison, who looked a lot like Myra, and they were recreating Chris and Myra’s actions perfectly. The camera swivelled around and came to rest pointing towards your face, as you looked in shock, and a single tear fell down your face. 

“I'll bet that she knows Billy Joel 'Cause you played her Uptown Girl You're singing it together,”

You were shown watching a movie trailer with Ashe sitting next to you, while you sobbed at what Alexa and Andrew were doing. You looked at the camera and began singing the song, while Ashe and everything else around you was frozen.

“Now I bet you even tell her How you love her In between the chorus and the verse (ooh) (I love you),”

You were sat on the bed in Chris’s red flannel that you had stolen before leaving for tour, and you were writing in the notebook aggressively with tears rolling down your face and singing.

“So when you gonna tell her That we did that too? She thinks it's special But it's all reused That was the show we talked about Played you the song she's singing now when she's with you,”

You were now being shown sitting on the couch, and watching Andrew run across the TV screen dressed as Captain America, an ice cream tub in your hand. You were wearing sweats and a t shirt, your hair in a messy bun.

“Do you get déjà vu when she's with you? Do you get déjà vu? Oh Do you get déjà vu?”

The camera circled around you before transitioning to the next scene. 

“Strawberry ice cream in Malibu Don't act like we didn't do that shit too You're trading jackets like we used to do (Yeah, everything is all reused),”

You were shown laying down in bed, and your eyes closing before an image of you and Andrew danced, dressed as Steve and Peggy in endgame, a scene Chris always told you the two of you would recreate one day. You had called Hayley and asked if it was okay, and she immediately said yes, and even came and watched you do the scene.

“Play her piano, but she doesn't know (oh, oh) That I was the one who taught you Billy Joel (oh) A different girl now, but there's nothing new (I know you get déjà vu),”

When your eyes opened, you were sitting at your piano, and playing while singing along. 

“I know you get déjà vu I know you get déjà vu,”

Suddenly, the piano disappeared, and you were left standing in an empty living room as the screen faded to black. 

The entire room burst into cheers as the video ended, except for Myra, who looked like she was going to murder you, and Chris who just clapped with a tight lipped smile. 

Later that night after all the kids had gone to bed and Lisa was driving Bob home,  Scott had pulled you into the kitchen under the pretences of ‘helping him fix a drink’, which ended up just being the two of you gossiping about Chris and Myra, and the music video.

Suddenly, Chris walked in, and nodded for Scott to leave. You cleared your throat and ignored him.

“That was a good song, and an amazing music video.” He said. “I can see you're just getting more and more talented as time-” He began, as you rolled your eyes, and looked at him. 

“What do you want?” You asked bluntly. 

“I just wanted to congratulate you.” He said, and you were about to open your mouth, when Myra came slinking in the room with an evil look on her face. 

“Nice job, Y/N. I’m glad I could inspire your music video.” She said sarcastically, and you could tell Chris was about to defend you, but you opened your mouth first. 

“Well, I’m glad I had such a snake like bitch to draw inspiration from,” You said, and heard Scott, his siblings burst into laughter in the living room. Myra’s jaw dropped and she turned to look at him. You looked up at Chris, who was leaning up against the counter, and biting back a smile.

“You’re just going to let her talk to me like that?” She asked, and Chris sighed.

“Myra, don't start. Not now.” He said, she scoffed. 

“I knew you still loved her. Only a pathetic loser could love someone as ugly and untalented as her.” She spat, and Chris growled. You felt tears welling up in your eyes, and you ran out of the room, your drink abandoned on the counter. 

You ran into your bedroom, where you shut the door, and fell onto the bed in tears. 

Back in the kitchen, Chris had gotten in Myra’s face, and was yelling.

“DON’T YOU DARE TALK TO HER LIKE THAT! SHE’S BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH SHIT IN HER LIFE, AND I WON’T ALLOW YOU TO ADD TO THAT!” He screamed, as Scott, Carly, and Shanna ran to the door, unsure of what to do. “SHE IS SO TALENTED, WAY MORE TALENTED THAN YOU! YOU’RE THE REASON PRODUCTION TOOK SO DAMN LONG, IT TOOK FOREVER TO GET A PERFORMANCE OUT OF YOU! YOU OPENLY INSULTED HER AND HER FANS HOURS AFTER YOU WERE ANNOUNCED TO BE IN THIS MOVIE, AND THEN HAD THE AUDACITY TO COME TO ME CRYING BECAUSE YOUR LITTLE FEELINGS GOT HURT!” He screamed, and Shanna ran and backed Chris away from her. 

“YOU’RE MY BOYFRIEND! AND ITS MY BIRTHDAY, YET HERE YOU ARE, CONGRATULATING HER FOR A SHITTY MUSIC VIDEO!” Myra screamed, and it was Scott’s turn to get in her face. 

“You need to leave. If you don't we’re going to call the cops.” He stated, and Myra rolled her eyes before storming out of the house. 

Scott turned back to Chris, and was shocked when he saw him in tears. 

“You need to work shit out with Y/N. It’s clear the two of you are still in love, and you need to figure it out as adults,” Scott said, his sisters nodding. Chris took a deep breath, and looked at your closed bedroom door.

Chris walked up to your bedroom door, and took a deep breath before entering the room where he used to sleep in every night.

He opened the door, and saw you curled up in a ball on the bed, your body still shaking. He smiled sadly, and walked into the room, closing the door behind him. He sat on the bed behind you, and rubbed your back gently. 

“I’m sorry. Not just for what Myra said, but for everything. For breaking your heart, and for causing you so much pain. I didn't realize how much I was missing you too until we watched that music video and I saw how truly broken you were. I never noticed that before now. And I’m sorry I didn't. If I’d have, I could have fixed this sooner, and we could be together right now.” He said.

You furrowed your brows at his last sentence and sat up.

“W-What?” You asked, and Chris moved closer. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a hug. 

“I still love you. So so much.” He smiled, and a tear rolled down his face. “You're my entire world, and not having you here is slowly breaking me apart. I didn't know just how much until today, but I can't live another day without you.” He said. “I’m so sorry I hurt you baby.” He sobbed, and his head buried itself into your hair. Your body shook with sobs too, and you turned around to face him.

“I love you too.” You sobbed out. “I never should have ended things, but-” You said, but were cut off by Chris’s lips on yours, and you felt yourself melting into it.

He pulled away a few seconds later. “Don't. It was my fault, not yours. I am so sorry, and I am going to spend the rest of my life making up for it, I promise.” He said, as he stood the two of you up and led you out of the room, and to his.

“Where are we going?” You asked, and Chris pressed a kiss to your cheek.

“I have to grab something.” He said. He opened his closet, and grabbed something out of the top corner before turning to you. 

“I said I planned on spending the rest of my life making it up to you, and I plan on keeping that promise.” He said, as he got down on one knee. You gasped, as he opened the box and your dream engagement ring was inside. “I want you for the rest of my life, and the next. Will you marry me?” he asked, tears pouring down his face, just like yours.

You nodded enthusiastically, and Chris stood up. He placed the ring on your ring finger and scooped you up. “I love you,” You choked out, and Chris sobbed harder into you. 

“I love you too, and I’m never letting you go.”

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[dreamywriterinthedark]

Recess sobs and bedtime resolutions

Pairing: fem!Reader x Spencer

Request: Ok so the reader is a psychologist and is married to spencer and they have a 5 year old daughter who gets in trouble for punching a kid because they picked on her because they didn't beleive her dad was in the fbi If that makes sense any who if you don't write this i get it I just want to see speancers reaction

Trigger warnings: bullying, physical violence. (let me know if i forgot something)

Category: fluff, slight angst.

A/N: thank you so much for this request! I hope you like it. The daughter sounds a bit older than 5, in my head she’s in the early stages of elementary school. Let me know what you think about it! I’d be glad to receive some feedback. (Btw I hurt my own feelings writing this, you can’t even imagine...)

You were in your office, a typical Tuesday afternoon until you heard your office phone ring once more. You held up your finger to make your client pause what they were saying, you picked up the phone only to hang up.

“I apologise for the inconvenience. Now where were we ?” you said trying to get your client comfortable again despite the ringing. As she was about to speak up again, your cellphone rang, Spencer’s name lit up your screen and that’s when you were starting to get concerned.

“I’m so sorry I have to get that.” You said exiting the office to take the call. You were happy to hear your significant other’s voice nonetheless you knew he wouldn’t normally call you during working hours.

“Hi darling, is everything okay ?”

“No, not really. The school called, there’s an emergency.” he responded wrapping his scarf around his neck as he was making his way to the elevator.

“What happened ?” you asked getting more and more worried.

“She punched a classmate in the face. Can you believe it ?!” he pressed the button 0 waving goodbye to his coworkers.

“What ? Our daughter? Jane ? Are you sure it’s not her evil twin ?”

“Eviler twin you mean ? No offense, Y/n, but if she had one, I’m pretty sure you would remember…”

“Alright, I’ll tell my secretary to cancel all my appointments for the day. I’ll meet you there.”

“Love you, bye.”

“Love you too.” You answered before hanging up. You made it a little bit of a rule to yourself to never say ‘goodbye’ to him because you thought that if you did it may increase the chances of you never seeing him again. You knew it was a bit silly but with all those times he was close to death, you’d believe in any superstition if that meant he would get home safe.

After taking care of your client and letting your secretary handle the rest, you hurried out of your office to drive to your daughter’s elementary school.

You pushed the interphone button, once you were allowed entrance you walked to the principal’s office. You softly knocked, when the door opened it showed Spencer sitting in a chair right across the desk, next to it was an empty chair meant for you.

“I’m sorry, I came as I soon as I could.” you apologized.

“Well, I assume you’re Jane’s mother. It’s nice to meet you. I’m Principal Walker.” he greeted shaking your hand. As you sat down, Spencer gave you his best polite white smile.

“Do you know what you’re here for ?” he inquired.

“You said our daughter was involved in a conflict with a student...” you answered.

“Your daughter punched a student in the face.” He said bluntly.

“Right…”

“Are you sure it’s Jane ?” Spencer asked still struggling to believe it.

“Wait until you see her knuckles...”

Spencer put his face in his hands in defeat, you rubbed his shoulder to bring him comfort.

“What happened exactly ?” you asked.

“Well, it was during the 10AM break. Jane went out to play with her classmates when a boy started arguing with her. Next thing we hear is a scream, the boy is on the floor crying.”

You and Spencer both looked at each other with an immense look of stupor.

“The boy, did he bully her ?” Spencer asked trying to find some innocence in the sweet child of his.

“Not that we know of.” answered the principal.

“Is he okay though ?” you questioned.

“Yes, just a minor injury. He went back home.”

You nodded, “So what happens next ?”

“We are giving her a warning but the next time something like this happens there will be harsher consequences than a simple punishment. Understood ?”

“Yes. we understand. Thank you for your time, sir.” you said as you rose up from your chair. Spencer and you both exited the room finding your daughter in the waiting lounge looking guilty as ever. You saw Spencer’s face look puzzled and hostile. To torture your daughter with even more guilt you told her to ride back home with her dad which she did not love but couldn’t protest.

Spencer hardly spoke to Jane the entire drive. He was dry, so much it looked like he ignored her. Jane was desperate to get him to talk to her.

“Please, dad. Don’t be mad at me!” she exclaimed.

“I’m not mad, I’m disappointed.” those words he pronounced cut like a knife. You knew that by seeing her dad’s reaction she would become aware of the gravity of her actions. And he actually wasn’t mad, at least not until he saw her pouting face. He loved her too much to be angry.

“Okay but can you just talk to me!” she whined.

“Oh we will, back home with your mom.”

That car ride lasted longer for Jane than usual. No music, no anecdotes nor laughs, just plain silence and introspection while gazing at the landscape.

Your house was in the suburbs near a forest, Spencer had all sorts of scientific arguments as to why living near nature was beneficial but you just loved the paysage before your eyes when taking your morning coffee. The location was perfect; in nature which means less pollution, noise and lower criminal rates yet a short car ride from the city which was full of cultural spots and with high quality education.

Jane tried to run up the stairs in hope to avoid her parents’ correction but was interrupted by your strict toned voice; “Not so fast, young lady.”

She shut her eyes stopping dead in her tracks, she lifted her stuffed animal and said to it “It was nice knowing you, fluffy.” She then turned around and sat on the couch.

Spencer was pacing around, “Why did you do it ?” He asked his daughter his voice slightly higher than before. She started melting in tears which truly pained him. You walked up to her, as you were sat on the couch next to her you started stroking her arm and drying her tears.

“It’s okay. We’re just trying to understand why you did that. There’s no way you would’ve done it without a reason.” you told her.

“Jeremy kept making fun of me…” she struggled to get out whimpering.

“How long has he been making fun of you ?” Spencer asked.

“Since Valentine’s day when everyone was exchanging cards but my box was empty.” You glanced at Spencer in shock of how long you hadn’t known your daughter was getting bullied, silently suffering.

“Honey, I’m so sorry you had to go through this.” you reassured her kissing her cheek and running your hands through her hair. “But what happened exactly that made you punch him ?”

“He made fun of dad, he wouldn’t believe he was in the FBI.” She answered tilting her head up. “I asked him to stop but he wouldn’t so I defended myself.” she affirmed seeming not so guilty anymore. You unwrapped your arms from her giving her a frown.

“That’s not how you deal with problems.” Spencer said sitting on the low table across the couch.

“Yeah, you could’ve talked to us first but you didn’t even try. You know you can tell us everything ?” You backed him up.

“I know but I thought I could deal with this problem on my own. You guys always seem so good at it. And I want to be just like you when I grow up.”

You glanced at Spencer both slightly smiling at each other.

“If there’s one thing I learned from my job at the FBI is that violence is never the answer. It’s only justifiable if it’s legitimate defence; when you life is in danger.”

“Dad, do you still love me ?” she asked watching her feet swinging on the edge of the couch.

“Of course, I love you. I always will, no matter what.” he responded taking hold of her hand. “Okay?” She nodded. She didn’t seem to understand that punching someone is wrong. You needed to have a talk with Spencer;

“Now go to your room and do your homework, we’ll talk punishment tomorrow morning.” You said.

“But-“ she protested.

“No buts, go to your room.” You ordered.

You joined Spencer on the couch, he looked completely defeated. “Hey, are you alright ?” You asked him while taking a seat next to him. “Yes.” He answered a bit too quickly. “I mean…No…Not really.” You knew exactly why he was feeling like this. “It’s not your fault, Spence.” you reassured him playing with his hair.

“This whole time…And I didn’t know she was struggling. What kind of father am I ?”

“I come home every night and I didn’t know about this. It’s not because of your job, it’s not because of us. I’m blaming the school, here. They’re the ones who are supposed to prevent bullying from happening.”

He rummaged his hair with his hands whilst his elbows rested on his knees.

“Plus it’s a good sign, she doesn’t get along with kids her age…” you said slightly smirking.

“How?!” Spencer asks slightly irritated due to his public middle school flashbacks.

“It’s a sign of high intellectual potential. Her emotional age is too advanced for kids her age to understand, they tend to be too insensitive for her. She believes animals and inanimate objects have emotions and that they are intelligent. She talks to her stuffed animal like it’s a pet. She took the pepperonis out of her pizza! Also she has an enormous amount of creativity and she’s highly sensitive to her surroundings. Have you seen how she profiled your every move and suddenly her emotions followed ? Just like you she’s protective of the ones she loves. She only punched that kid because he wasn’t exactly talking highly of you…”

“So you’re saying…”

“Our daughter could be a genius.”

“As mother as daughter.” he complimented with a smirk.

“Oh come on we know who’s the genius here!” you said slapping his shoulder playfully.

You both chuckled. You kept talking for at least half an hour to come up with a plan you both agreed to. It’s not good for a child to watch their parents disagree.

~slight time lapse~

An hour after dinner, you went up to your daughter’s bedroom as it was her bedtime. You leaned on the door frame admiring Spencer, sat next to Jane on her bed, reading a story to her about conflict to teach her what to do in the type of situations she got in. He learned that from you since you were a psychologist. He admired how resourceful and clever you were. He couldn’t be more proud to have you as his significant other and the mother of his child. Your foot made a cracking noise on the hard wood floor which caught Jane attention.

“Mommy! Come!” she exclaimed shaking her little hands.

“What’s up?” you ask sitting next to the bed.

“Me and dad were reading this book you got me and now i understand. I’m sorry for not coming to you first. I just didn’t like what they said about dad.”

“Honey, it doesn’t matter what people think of you. Seeking validation from people can be so unhealthy. If you keep bottling up your emotions you’re going to explode like a bomb and that’s no good.”

“Can you forgive me, mommy ?”

“Of course. You’re still growing, as long as you learn from your mistakes I’m confident you’re going to be alright.” You answered squeezing her hand. Spencer watched in awe, it reminded him how in love with you he is.

“Yes, please don’t ever do that again!” he said a bit too quickly with a high pitched voice that made you all burst in laughter.

“Alright, you should get some sleep.” you told her giving her a kiss on the cheek and tucking her in; “Good night, my love.”

Spencer kissed her temple and set aside the little book he was reading to her wishing her good night as well. You walked out switching the lights off. As you walked down the stairs you asked Spencer to stop in his tracks pointing your finger up; Jane was talking to her stuffed animal. You both had to muffle your laughs. The future looked bright.

#criminal minds #fluff #imagine #spencer #spencer reid #criminal minds fic #spencer reid fluff #y/n #angst #criminal minds imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer x y/n #spencer reid angst #criminal minds spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds fanfiction #fanfiction #spencer reid fic #cbs #spencer x reader #fem!reader

[chan-skz]

Going back the way we've come

Pairing : Hwang Hyunjin x Fem!Reader

Summary: You didn't want to go, but forced by your parents, you gave in. Your relationship with Hyunjin hadn't started very well, after reuniting years later, you realized that a lot of things had changed. but for some reason, you couldn't push him away.

Words: ~ 7.5k

Genre: Fluff, smut (around the end), slight angst

Warning(s): Making out, Oral (f receiving), Fingering, Kinda raw language, Semi-public, Light choking, Light overstimulation, Teasing under table

Note: This is part of the christmas collab I'm doing w/ @hanflix and many other writers. I tried my best to give it a holiday vibe, but I guess I totally failed hahah.

A/N: This is the longest fic I've ever written for now, and I also tried my best in writing it, so I really hope you'll enjoy it! English isn't my first language, so I'm really sorry if there's any mistakes or non-senses.

Your fingers tightened around the collar of your coat, the cold breeze gently hitting your face. You cursed yourself for not having listened to your mother when she insisted for you to take a scarf, arguing that it would be colder than usual.

"Fuck winter." You said when you got back under the shelter of the bus stop, collapsing on the bench next to your bestfriend, where he was sitting.

"Hi to you too, Y/n." Jisung laughed.

"Sorry, really not in a good mood." You said, glancing around, noticing that besides you, there were few other people waiting for the bus.

"Do you want to talk about it though?" He continued.

"Well." You began, sitting correctly on the seat and turning to him, announcing your long speech in advance. He knew you by heart. "I argued with my mom about a stupid decision she and my dad made. They want me to spend Christmas Eve with them and some old friends of theirs! Do you realize that? I don't even know them! She told me they had a son of my age and that I was bestfriend with him when I was younger, as that would some how change my mind. Christmas is supposed to be between families, not strangers."

"Are you done?" He asked when he saw you cross your arms against your chest and sigh even more on the bench. He was really trying to keep from laughing at your despondency. "It's not funny Sungie! I'm really serious!" You complained. "How did I found myself having to spend almost a boring evening with complete strangers?"

"You could come and spend it with me if you really don't want to spend it with your parents' friends." He suggested.

"Are you serious?" You asked, suddenly straightening up, hope shining in your eyes.

"Will your parents accept, though?" He raised an eyebrow.

"No." Your mother firmly refused.

"But why!" You whined through the phone, kicking your foot at the pile of snow in front of you, in frustration

"Because Christmas should be celebrated with the family, honey."

"Family.. We don't even pass it between real family." You whispered to yourself, rolling your eyes, before setting your gaze on your best friend who was still waiting for you at the entrance of the high school.

"It's not the same thing!" She exclaimed loudly through the phone, forcing you to move your phone away from your ear. "Do you really want to stay with them on Christmas Eve anyway?"

"But Jisung offered it to me! He even told me that his parents wouldn't even mind!" You exclaimed in your turn. "You yourself know how much they love me!" You added in hope that it will change her mind.

"It's still no, the discussion is closed." She concluded, before hanging up on you. You sighed in frustration, kicking one last on the snow pile before turning back to your best friend. You weren't in the mood it was clear.

"So?" Jisung asked as you approached him.

"She said no." You answered, walking past him to enter the school. "But don't worry, I'm going to keep pushing when I get home, she says the discussion is over, but I'll keep pushing the subject."

"You really don't want to spend it with their friends, do you?" Jisung chuckled when he saw how persistent you were.

"As they say, perseverance always pays off." You gave him a smile, letting him know you weren't going to drop the case that easily.

"Yeah, but I don't think that's gonna work." Before you could answer, a group of girls down the hall caught your eye. You glanced at each other in disbelief as you approached your group of friends.

"What's going on over there." You asked curiously, as you opened your locker to deposit your things in.

"Ah, just a new student." Jeongin just shrugged, not looking away from his phone, too focused on his game.

"Damn, he's this special to create so much enthusiasm." You continued, taking your books in your arms before closing your locker and leaning against it.

"I heard he was handsome, rich, tall. The pure cliché you know." Changbin added, earning amused looks from all of you. "What? I only rehearsed what I heard, I didn't even saw the guy yet."

"My only question is who would get transfered to a new school a day before winter break? It's so unlikely." You were curious to know who this new kid was, since he already had girls at his feet when it's barely been a day since he arrived.

"I really don't know." Changbin shrugged. "But I also heard he was from your hometown. You must know him."

"No luck, I don't even remember a lot of things from back there." You were still a little surprised that he also came from your hometown, but despite all that, it didn't change your opinion of him.

"Merry Christmas!" Felix came out of nowhere, dressing ridiculously in rudolph. Totally his type. You couldn't help but burst out laughing at his outfit. The day before, you all had agreed to dress in a holiday theme, but it was clear that someone surely hadn't understood the real concept.

"What the fuck, Lix." Jeongin said, finally turning his attention away from his game to judge his friend. "When I suggested yesterday that we could dress like it was Christmas, I didn't actually mean to dress up like this."

You kinda felt bad for Felix as he looked disappointed at the judgment of the youngest.

"Rah, you are so boring." Felix said, crossing his arms over his chest before pretending to sulk.

"Okay, pass me your red nose." You added, rolling your eyes as Felix's face lit up.

"It's good now?" You asked rhetorically, placing the red ball on yours.

"Looks like a real clown now. Your makeup wasn't enough, but with that nose you really look like one now." Jisung said amused, making the whole gang laugh, except you obviously.

"I swear to you that one day I'll kill you." You threatened him, hitting his forearm causing him to whine in pain.

"Ow- damn you hit real hard-"

"Y/n? Y/n Y/l/n?" A familiar voice called you out, making everyone turn around. You then suddenly found yourself facing a guy that neither of you knew. You surely assumed to be the new student.

"Excuse me, do I know you?" You had to admit that the fact that this tall guy knew your name freaked you out.

"Don't you recognize me? Hyunjin. We went to the same elementary school." The so-called Hyunjin indicated, making you frown at his words. But your brain still didn't seem to recognize him despite how hard you tried to remember who it could be.

"I'm so sorry, but you must be wrong on the person. I really don't know you." This time you raised an eyebrow and looked him over from head to toe. You couldn't deny that he was handsome, even though you didn't know him.

"He's from your hometown, there's a chance he's right." Chris pointed, once the guy had left. You sigh in exasperation. "I don't remember him anyway. So whether he's right or not, it doesn't really matter."

You threw yourself on your bed, almost screaming into your pillow in frustration. Again, you tried to convince your parents, but it was a complete failure like this morning. They were really determined that you go with them, even though you had made it clear to them that you didn't want to. You spent long minutes looking at your reflection through the mirror in your bathroom. Did you have to wear a dress and full makeup to go to a stupid Christmas dinner? Obviously, it was your mother who forced you.

The red dress she chose for you was quite tight and followed every curve of your body. But it was either that or nothing, since you would've been allowed to wear something more comfortable. Everything had to be perfect, you rolled your eyes recalling the words of your mother, and also of your father. You didn't understand either why you had agreed to wear high heels, your feet were hurting horribly and the freezing winter cold really didn't help your situation. It was snowing and you were forced to wear these heels anyway, that's how your parents exaggerated. Luckily, there was no ice, otherwise you would've tripped and humiliated yourself in the middle of the entrance. You were torn from your thoughts when the front door opened, and revealing a quite beautiful lady about your mother's age.

"Y/m/n!" The lady exclaimed with a big smile, softly giggling as your mother returned the same energy to her. She wasted no time to make you get in and hugging your mom and shaking your father's hand. Once you got in her facial expression only lit up even more.

"Y/n! Woah, you've grown so much!" She indicated by taking you in your arms too. "You've become so beautiful, I'm sure Hyunjin would agree." She said with a slight smirk. Hearing his name made you choke on your own saliva. You tensed, but managed to fake a smile, even though you were praying inside that you had misheard. Unfortunately for you, all your doubts were confirmed when you walked into the living room and found yourself face to face with Hyunjin.

"Damnit.." You cursed under your breath, when you came to sit on the couch in front of his and according to the face he expressed, he seemed to have heard you. Lucky for you, none of the other adults next to you seemed to have heard it. You could feel his intense gaze on you, and it lowkey made you anxious.

"Dinner's not ready yet, because we got too caught up at the last minute, so sorry." Hyunjin's mother laughed lightly. "I know the kids won't want to wait here all along, so maybe they could go do something else until it's ready."

If you could think that the night couldn't get any worse, you were completely wrong.

"Stop following me." Hyunjin suddenly turned as he walked up the stairs. Making you roll your eyes.

"I 'follow' you, because I have nowhere else to go and I would rather stay with you than stay with them for a second. Their 'good old days' really don't interest me." You crossed your arms against your chest, defying him with your gaze.

"Whatever." He rolled his eyes, before turning around. His room was quite large, almost double yours. You made sure to sit in the opposite side of the room. You then found yourself sitting on the sofa while he was lying on his bed, both phones in hand. Your phones keep you busy, making you forget the awkward tension.

"How could you not recognize me?" Hyunjin suddenly asked, distracting you from the video you were watching.

"Do I really have to?" You looked away from your phone to focus on Hyunjin, who was now sitting on the edge of the bed and facing you.

"Did I change that much?" He said, letting out an exasperated sigh.

"We knew each other when we were kids, now we are adults, what do you expect? I can't recognize everyone I was friends with in my childhood at one glance." You said in a mocking voice. "I don't even understand why you keep pushing so hard for me to remember you, but if you really want to, just show me what you looked like when you were a baby. It would surely refresh my memory."

You didn't expect that he would actually do it. But your eyes widened when you saw the little boy in the picture. You recognized him right there. Your heart pounded at the realization, but you tried to pull yourself together. It was stupid to react so exaggeratedly just because you realized you were facing your childhood best friend, your first love. Finally you didn't really know if when you were young you really loved him, because after all, you were still kids, the meaning of love wasn't real known, nor understood.

"Stop Hyunjin, you're hurting him!" You yelled at him to let go of your friend's sweater, Chris.

"No! How dare he touch you! Only I have the right to give you a hug!" Hyunjin frowned, looking at you before quickly looking back at your friend, who just let it go, finding his jealousy quite ridiculous.

"But I was the one who gave him a hug." You started, finding his possessiveness frustrating.

You couldn't help but have a small smile forming at the corner of your lips at the flashback of this event. And you couldn't control your teasing.

"So how's your jealousy? Are you still so possessive of a temper?" You said amused, expecting him to becomes slightly shy and sulky as you pointed out his toxic trait, but what you didn't expect was for him to smile and look down on you.

"Oh, why do you want to know that? Unless you want me to show you what true possessiveness is." He smirked, looking you up and down. Your own smile faded as he watched you closely, making you feel oddly exposed to him in that tight, cropped dress.

"What do you mean?" You pulled yourself together again and asked, raisong an eyebrow.

"Well, I wouldn't have thought you would've had so many guy friends." His comment frustrated you for some reasons. After years apart, as soon as you meet again does he really have to get jealous over the fact that you have a lot of opposite sex friends? You really didn't like it.

"Does it even matter anyway?" You asked insistently. At your reaction, Hyunjin's expression changed, becoming more nonchalant again.

"Nevermind." He got up from the sofa he was leaning on and went to lie back on his bed. You took advantage of him not looking at you to detail him. You couldn't deny that puberty had blessed him, making him not only beautiful, but also extremely attractive. His hair, which he had dyed blond, was slightly messy, but enough to make it look quite classy.

"Do you like staring at me?" He asked rhetorically, but as you were about to deny, he continued. "No need to deny it, the trickle of drool at the corner of your mouth is proof of that."

Seeing your panicking face, he laughed out loud. Quickly running your hand over the corner of your mouth, you finally realized that he was only messing with you from the start. As you opened your mouth to clap back at him, you heard your mother's voice calling you from downstairs, informing both of you that the dinner was ready. Hyunjin didn't miss the glare you gave him as you sat face to face at the dining table. He could've simply ignored it, but the little smirk that appeared on your lips worried him slightly. He had a bad feeling.

Your parents were talking and laughing with each other, paying almost no attention to you two, which gave you the best opportunity to tease Hyunjin. For his part, he was frustered when he felt something caress his leg. Looking down he saw your foot caressing his leg, he wasted no time pushing you away, finding the whole thing quite inappropriate as you found yourself at the table with both of your parents. But you didn't give up, in fact you were determined to make him restless. You restarted your gesture, but this time, taking advantage of his man spread, you deflected your touching on his crotch. You knew he was going to lose his temper at this action and your doubts were confirmed when he jumped at the feeling of your heel pressing against his crotch.

"Hyunjin, are you okay?" His mother asked, slightly worried. You could see a pinkish tinge forming on Hyunjin's cheeks and you had to admit he was so cute like that.

"And yes, y-yes. It's okay, I just banged my knee against the table, sorry." He managed to convince the others. After all, he wasn't going to openly say that you were touching his dick under the table. Stop that, he mimicked, his gaze changing dramatically to become more firmer, but it only made you keep going, finding his reaction funny and extremely entertaining. Suddenly he got up from the table, apologizing to your parents and pretending he wasn't hungry, so he could get away from that family dinner. Not wanting to be alone with them, you did the same, sighing in relief when you in turn managed to sneak out of that Christmas dinner. Except you weren't expecting to be tackled by a pretty angry Hyunjin from the moment you stepped into his room. You then found yourself stuck between him and the wall, his arms placed on each side of your body, blocking you from escaping from his grip. Besides his tall figure, which made him quite intimidating, didn't help your case.

"If you were so desperate for my cock, you should've told me." He said in a dangerously calm voice.

"What are you talking about?" You manage to say, completely confused.

"Oh don't be innocent. You really think this is a game, don't you? Do you think teasing my cock around our parents is fun?" You bit your lip and your eyes widened when he grabbed your hand and put it on his bulge for you to feel it, which was quite hard.

"You feel it? Now I'm fucking hard." He said in a long sigh of pleasure, feeling your fingers trace his length. He then leaned against your ear, his hot breath giving you chills.

"From the moment I met you again, I knew straight away that I didn't want to just be friends with you." You still couldn't quite assimilate the situation you currently found yourself in and it was only when he leaned against your ear to whisper those words to you with his deep voice that you finally broke out of your thoughts. Suddenly you pushed him away, forcing him to pull away from you and step back. He looked at you completely lost, not understanding your sudden action and to tell the truth, you didn't understand what had taken you neither. You couldn't deny that this whole situation had made you slightly aroused, but it was too soon. No sooner had you met again than you already found yourself doing dirty things? It was going a little too fast for your liking.

"That-that won't work, I'm so sorry." You avoided his gaze in embarrassment. After a few moments of silence, you finally returned your gaze to Hyunjin, who was now looking at you completely detached. And to be honest, his expression hurted you, but you tried to hide it. You knew you ruined your evening, that's why you decided to end up speanding it with your parents. It was quite boring, but at least it allowed you to escape the discomfort that would've been present between you and Hyunjin, if you stayed with him.

"And? What did you do?" Jisung asked excitedly. A few days later, you had wasted no time summoning Jisung, your best friend, to tell him what had happened to you. But no sooner had the story started than he was already feeling excited, obviously expecting you and Hyunjin to have done it.

"I pushed him away." You simply said, looking as if you didn't care about it. Even though a few days later, you were still mentally slapping yourself for pushing him away so coldly. While deep down, you wished things had turned out differently.

"What did you do?" Jisung repeated slowly, his excitement fading.

"I pushed him away and even told him that it wouldn't work between us." You closed your eyes, anticipating his reaction.

"Oh my god, I have never known a girl so stupid." Jisung said in exasperation. "You literally had the chance before you and you didn't even take it."

"I know!" You pouted. "It's just that I realized this when it was too late. I was in the living room with my parents, you really expected me to go back to his room and take back everything that I said and did to him?"

You concluded ironically before crossing your arms against your chest and sighing in exasperation.

"Well that was an option that you unfortunately didn't take and which could've prevented from finding yourself in this situation." He dramaticallyraised his hot chocolate cup to face, making you roll your eyes.

"I'm seriously starting to regret telling you this story and even offering to go out. You really aren't helping me."

"It's too hard not to judge you when you literally make so many stupid decisions, sorry." He said, chuckling at your annoyed reaction. "Ah, by the way, I almost forgot to mention it, but Changbin is throwing a new year party tomorrow and he told me to force you to come."

At the mention of a party, you whined. You didn't like parties, you preferred to stay at home, doing nothing, rather than partying among people you didn't know.

"Tell him back that despite you forcing me, I'm not coming." You said directly.

"Please, for once come on. And it'll help you to forget about your night with Hyunjin." Jisung begged you. It was very rare that you attended parties organized by your friends, one because you didn't like the vibe, but you also didn't understand the usefulness of getting high and drunk. But coming to think of it, not only did you want to forget the shit you had caused, but you also felt like getting wasted.

"Fine."

You scrambled through the room, the wave of dancing people glued to each other began to make you sick. Your glass in hand, you passed through all these people, until you finally got off the dance floor. You shiver slightly when you feel the light cold breeze brush your exposed legs. You were already regretting having put on such a short dress. It wasn't really ideal to go out so exposed, but it was the only evening dress you had.

"Looks like you're bored." Felix's deep voice surprised you, making you jump.

"Oh my god!" You exclaimed in surprise. almost dropping your drink. "You scared me."

You hit his forearm, making him laugh out loud.

"No, but seriously you look really bored." He said, calming down. You just nodded, it was true that you were slowly starting to regret coming. Your dress that bothered you, the alcohol that took too long to hit you, and the cold freezing were all the reason of it.

"Do you want to come with me play truth or dare? Changbin and the other boys were organizing it." He proposed to you, not failing to see you looking with disgust at the gathering of people completely wasted and grinding on each other. You accepted, telling yourself that it might change your mind. You didn't know this kind of game was still being played at parties, but you were curious enough what kind of dares and truths other players will throw themselves into. Obviously, you should've expected to see Hyunjin as soon as you set a foot in the room, which seemed to be Changbin's room, accompanied by Felix. Other than this one, Hyunjin and even Changbin, you didn't really know the other participants, but even then you cursed yourself for not thinking for a second that Hyunjin might be there too. You blushed slightly when you noticed him contemplating your body shamelessly. You thanked the lord for making the room a little dark, only a lamp on the floor on the floor litening the room.

"Y/n!" Changbin exclaimed with joy when he saw you, glad you came. Coming to hug you, only to ruffle your hair.

"Stop." You giggled. "You ruined my hairstyle." You pouted.

"Ohh, it's okay, you're beautiful the way you are." He said, making you blush. Changbin treated you like his little sister, his way to make you comfortable no matter the situation would always surprise you. Your interaction didn't go out of Hyunjin's attention. From the corner of the room he watched you silently, paying no attention to the girl beside him who was desperately seeking his attention.

"Are we starting or not?" Felix complained loudly, drawing attention to himself.

"We're just waiting for Jisung and Jeongin." No sooner had Changbin finished his sentence than your two friends entered the room, their arms laden with drinks.

"To spice up the game!" Jisung exclaimed as he placed the bottles on the ground, beside the circle you had formed. You had hesitated for a moment to sit down, your short dress really bothering you, obviously you didn't want others to have an easy view of your panties. You were then offered by Changbin his jacket to cover your lap, clearly having noticed your struggle.

"Thank you." You smiled at him, before kneeling on the floor and covering your legs with his jacket.

"Ok, we all know the game rules, right? But this time, if you don't want to answer the truth or don't want to do a dare, you're going to have to take two shots of vodka." Jeongin vaguely explained. "Okay, I'm starting."

He leaned over to spin the bottle, stopping in front of Changbin.

"Truth or dare." Jeongin asked with a smirk at the corner of his lips. It was in those moments that his inner devil was coming out.

"Truth." Changbin said. "I don't trust you enough to pick dare when it comes to you." He added suspiciously.

"What's your body count?" Jeongin asked, ignoring his friend's comment.

"Do I need to have slept with them?" He asked, waiting for the clarification of the younger. He took time to think.

"Then I think around 15, if not even more." He nodded. Hearing this number, you almost choked.

"15?! What the hell?!" You turned to Changbin, your eyes widening. "You better spill the tea, mr.Don Juan."

The game went on, you had to admit it was pretty funny seeing some people taking two shots of vodka and gradually get drunk just because they didn't want to do something, or even see some people do of ​​stupid things. Well, until Hyunjin's turn came and he had the misfortune of being told what to do by Jisung.

"Truth or dare, Hyunjin." He asked him with a smile, which the world that didn't know him might consider innocent, but knowing him very well, you knew he was up to no good.

"I guess, dare?" He answered.

"I dare you to make out for a minute with the girl you find the most attractive in the room." As soon as Jisung's words came out of his mouth, his turned gaze to you. You rolled your eyes when you had eye contact with your best friend. Seeing how the girl, who was sitting next to Hyunjin, looked quite pretty and looked so interested in him, you expected him to turn to kiss her. But you were a little taken aback, when he got up to approach you to kneel down in front of you, ignoring the complaints of the girl you think was one of his fangirls at school.

"Wait what?" Your eyes widened, completely lost. Your heart quickly started race up as you saw him lean towards you.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked quietly. You really didn't know what to add, you were literally wordless. Subconsciously, you started to nod your head gently, giving him your consent. When your lips touched, it was as if no one existed around you. The exclamations of surprise that other people around you were expressing went over your head.

Hyunjin's lips were soft, the kiss you exchanged was initially passionate, but the longer the seconds passed the hotter it got. Without thinking too much, you wrapped your arms around the older man's neck, pulling him closer to you, as he grabbed your hips. Too absorbed in each other, you hadn't noticed that the minute had already passed and it was only when Jisung called you out that you finally came out of your reverie, instantly detaching yourself from Hyunjin.

You blushed slightly when you felt a light trickle of drool dripping from the corner of your mouth, you pressed to wipe it off quickly with the back of your hand. Hyunjin, for his part, just licked his lips, giving you a smirk, knowing that this action would destabilize you even more. Clearing your throat afterwards, you for sure wanted to divert the attention others had on you, while Hyunjin, sat down next to you with a big smile on his face, not caring that all the attention was on you. After all he had finally kissed you, which he had wanted to do since the dinner with your parents, so nothing else mattered. Your thoughts wandered elsewhere as the game continued its course. You couldn't think of anything other than Hyunjin's lips on yours, his kiss had made you lose your head. Your mind was engulfed in unhealthy thoughts and it didn't take you long before you felt yourself being drowned by your own mind.

"I-I think I'm going to go." You huffed, feeling a pleasant, but quite uncomfortable heat growing between your legs. You were clearly starting to feel bad. You didn't give Changbin or Hyunjin time to speak as you got up and quickly left the room. The loud sound of the music playing backwards was much more audible once in the hallway, it's precisely at this moment that you could gradually feel the influence of alcohol washing you off. Luckily for you, you found the bathroom easily.

"Y/n?" You heard Hyunjin calling you, but you didn't pay him any attention to him when he hesitantly walked in. You were propped up against the bathroom counter, staring at your reflection through the mirror, it was easily recognizable that you were not feeling well. Your cheeks were red, your breath quickened and your eyes slightly narrowed.

"Are you okay?" He asked worriedly, approaching you, but he resigned himself when he saw you stepping back when he tried to come closer.

"Stop playing with me." You finally said, turning to face him. You couldn't help but slightly laugh bitterly when he looked at you in confusion, obviously not understanding the meaning of your words.

"Seriously Hyunjin, what do you want from me." You rolled your eyes, "You tell me straight up that you want more than just a friendship with me, when it had only been one evening that we met again. Things have changed Hyunjin, I've changed, you've changed. We're not the same as when we were still children." He was silent for a moment, looking deep in his thoughts, before he resigned himself to saying something.

"I understand that we are no longer children. And from the moment I saw you again I understood it very well. You must think I'm talking nonsense, but just seeing you and talking to you again last time, I don't know why, i had the same feelings i had when we were young."

He stopped talking to approach you slowly, making sure first that you weren't going to distance yourself from him.

"I'm very serious. I'm really not trying to play with your feelings, nor you in general." His gaze reflected a slight sadness. He was genuinely afraid of being rejected by you, even after his speech.

"How could I believe you?" You asked, hesitantly whether you should take him seriously or not.

"If you give me a chance, I swear I could prove it to you." You felt butterflies in your stomach at his words. You opened your mouth to say something, but closed it immediately, you really didn't know what to say. And he looked pretty determined.

"I hope you're not going to make me regret it then." You manage to say. At your answer, his face lit up. He was anxious that you would reject him, that you would tell him that his 'confession' was absurd, but he felt a huge weight off his shoulders at your words. His gaze wandered over your lips for a few seconds, before he glanced quickly behind him.

"I-" He started slowly, looking suddenly slightly embarrassed. "Can I kiss you?"

His question made you smile for real this time, finding his reaction rather unexpected and ironic, given of what had happened earlier.

"Really, Hyunjin? You literally kissed me in front of dozens of people and now you're getting all embarrassed." You teased him. "So cute."

At your last comment, his expression changed dramatically. Suddenly, he leaned over and grabbed your chin, forcing you to lock your eyes with his.

"Me, cute?" He tilted his head to the side, his gaze languishing in your face, as if to memorize every detail. "You sure about that?" All trace of embarrassment had disappeared from his attitude. He looked more than serious and you couldn't deny that you liked this new facade of him.

"Why don't you show it to me then?" You didn't know where that line, or even that daring, had come from, but you didn't complain when Hyunjin's lips rested on yours for the second time that evening. The kiss was way more intense than the one you had shared earlier. Hotter and more eager. You gasped in surprise as Hyunjin grabbed you by the back of your thighs to lift you up, prompting you to wrap your legs around his waist. Your dress, which was already short, rose at this gesture, giving him easy access to your ass. Placing yourself on the bathroom counter, you were slightly disappointed when he pulled away from you, breaking your kiss. You looked at him with puppy eyes, as he turned around to close the bathroom door and lock it.

"Just making sure we won't be disturbed." He smirked, taking full notice of your desperate look. He wasted no time before stepping back between your legs, his lips joining yours for a warm kiss once again.

"Fuck, you don't know how many times I've fantasized about being like this with you since the last time." He whispered in admiration, as he kissed the path up to your neck, where he teasingly bit your soft spot which he found easily. You suppressed a small moan at his gesture, your fingers venturing into his long curls and pulling them gently. You could tell he liked it by the deep moan he made.

"You left me so hard when you ran away last time." He straightened up to look at you straight in the eyes, the sheer desire burning through his gaze making you feel in a certain way you could describe as sinful.

"I was afraid I had done something wrong when you pushed me away. I even felt bad for getting so excited after you teased me under the table in the presence of our parents." The tone of his voice clearly reflected nostalgia.

"But don't feel bad. I just panicked at the time." You smiled at him, passing a hand on his cheek to reassure him.

"And if I'm being honest, the situation got me excited too." You confessed shyly. Your revelation relaxed him slightly, but also boosted his confidence.

"Really?" He asked rhetorically, stroking your thighs with his fingertips. Your heart race increased as he rushed to drop hungry kisses down your collarbone, wasting no time slipping your sleeve, giving him a perfect access to the base of your breasts.

"Fuck.. Please..." You moaned, wiggling lightly against him, begging him for more, which made him smirk in satisfaction. You were as desperate for him as he was for you.

"My baby is so impatient. So sweet." He chuckled, visibly enjoying seeing you so hopeless for him to touch you intimately. It didn't take him long before he decided to finally slid his hand between your thighs, easily finding your clit, his fingers rubbing it so skillfully.

"I can already feel your wetness." He bit his lower lip, his dark eyes focusing on your face contracted with pleasure. You were so beautiful.

"Lay down." You were torn from your little cloud of pleasure again, when he removed his touch from your panties to remove it entirely, exposing your soaked pussy to him. You leaned back as he ordered, leaning back against the mirror behind you and opening your legs wide for him to give him an easy access to what he wanted the most right now. You knew seeing yourself so exposed and vulnerable just for him, hugely turned him on. The visible bulge on his crotch being the proof.

"You look so fucking good, baby." He said, licking his lips, obviously pleased pf the way you were already dripping just for him, when he barely touched you. Not breaking eye contact, he knelt between your legs, gripping your thighs to keep them firmly open, before languidly licking your cunt, stickinf his tongue inside of you. Your fingers found his hair again, gripping it tightly when Hyunjin suddenly began to suck on your sensitive swollen clit. You couldn't stop a few moans from escaping, even though you were trying the best you could to not to be too loud. Your hips subconsciously bucked against his face, forcing him to wrap his arms around your hips so that he could stabilize you moving too much. He intended to make you scream his name with pleasure and he wanted to do it the right way. You felt like you were losing your mind when the way he was eating you out changed, getting much more rougher and hungrier. He then suddenly slipped a finger, then a second, inside you, touching your weak spot with every pump and strock of his fingers.

"Hyunjin.. Too much.." You moaned, squirming more and more under his grip on you with each of his moves. Your thoughts were clouded with pleasure, dizzying your mind. You couldn't think properly anymore, only your orgasm, that you could feel was getting closer and closer, was the only thing you could think about. The tension, which you could feel building in your lower abdomen, exploded as Hyunjin once again eagerly wrapped his lips around your clit. Your eyes rolled back, as your orgasm washed you away, making you moan loudly in ecstasy. Seeing you come around his fingers and his mouth didn't make him stop his movements. You had to beg him to stop when it got too much for you to handle. His mouth and chin were almost dripping with your juice, giving his lips an delicious shine. You felt empty when his fingers slipped off you, but you ignored it, straightening up quickly and pulling him back into a sloppy kiss, where you clearly tasted yourself on his tongue. Your hands were hanging from the waistband of his pants, which you delicately untied during your erotic exchange. You desperately wanted to feel his cock, which you could feel was already hard enough, between your lips and at the very thought, you could feel your pussy getting wetter than before.

"My good girl is so desperate for my cock?" He whispered between your lips, the sudden nickname and the hand that came wrapping around your throat made you feel much more excited and eager for him. You moaned slightly in contentment at the pleasant feeling he made you feel just by his actions and presence. You went to answer him, but was cut off by what happened outside.

"5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Happy New Year!" The loud mixed voices of people still partying echoed throughout the house. At this understanding, you looked at each other for a few moments, before involuntarily bursting into laughter.

"New year, new girl, which means new resolutions. That's all I can say about it." He said, giving you a wink full of innuendos. Blushing, you couldn't hide the smile that crept onto your lips.

"I think it's the same for me then." You declared in admiration in your turn, matching his vibe.

"Good, because I have every intention of making up for the lost time." He whispered seductively. "In every sense of the word." His last words gave you shivers of anticipation. You knew you were in there for a long ride. After all, maybe the special connection you had as a kid hadn't changed at all.

#stray kids smut #skz smut #stray kids smut hours #hyunjin smut #stray kids hyunjin smut #hwang hyunjin smut #skz hyunjin smut #hyunjin smut hours #hwang hyunjin x reader #hyunjin x reader #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #kpop smut

[yhwhsdaughter]

Feelings for you

pairing: levi x fem reader

warnings: angst w/ happy ending, filming without consent, blackmail, unwanted advances, mentions of physical violence

part 1 , part 2 , part 4 , part 5

“I don’t feel anything for Leviathan. He’s just another number in my body count.”

Hearing those words shattered Levi’s poor, brittle heart—especially in when they came from the person he loved most.

It was like (Name) had taken a knife and plunged it into his chest, twisting till he couldn’t breath. The pain Levi felt at that moment was unbearable.

Tears rolled down his cheeks.

Even when the three of them turned to look at him, (Name)’s cold expression never left her face. Levi expected her to laugh and reveal it was a prank.

He would’ve believed her.

Just a few days ago, they’d slept together. Levi even heard (Name) say she loved him. She thought he was asleep, but he heard it. Her precious confession.

“You’re.. joking right ?”

Desperate, Levi offered her another way out but (Name) crushed that too. “No. Why would I want to be with a gross otaku like you?” She couldn’t even look at him when she said that.

Levi shook his head vehemently, denying those hurtful statements. “No no no. No!” He couldn’t accept this. It didn’t make sense. Why would (Name) suddenly say something like this? There had to be a reason for it.

Grabbing her shoulders, he begged. “Stop lying! I know you—”

(Name) pulled away from him harshly, “Leave me alone, freak!”

A whimper escaped him.

The two guys beside her were having a field day. Astaroth and Mephisto snickered, catching the attention of Levi.

His bullies.

What was she doing with them? (Name) had once defended him against them, so why was she with them? Was her relationship with him truly an act?

Doubt seeped into his heart.

Levi’s world was falling apart. He couldn’t think straight—the tears made his vision blurry as he ran away from the scene. Laughter followed him until it eventually faded the further he got.

The bluenette had to leave. He could not stand there any longer, listening how his darling delivered blow after blow with those awful words. Coming from anyone else, Levi would’ve ignored them but this wasn’t just anyone. (Name) was Levi’s most precious person, which made the pain worse.

Levi slid down the nearest wall, knees pressing against his chest as he let out all his anguish in the middle of an empty hall. Part of him wished (Name) would follow after him, explanation in hand but no such thing happened.

—

“Oi Levi you should eat something!”

Mammon banged on his younger brother’s door; the rest of the brothers looked on solemnly when Levi threw a pillow against the door.

“Go away!”

None of them knew exactly what happened. Levi came home, eyes clearly red from crying and when he was questioned by Lucifer, the bluenette ran to his room and shut himself in.

“I suggest we give him some space.”

The next morning, Levi had stopped his isolation but he looked miserable. It was like a cloud of grey surrounded him.

Nearly dragging himself to class, Levi turned when the crowd parted, people whispering as (Name) walked by, sporting a black eye and a busted lip. Students ogled, wondering how she’d gotten those injuries.

(Name) seemed to pay them no mind, that is, until she made eye contact with Levi. He stood near the lockers, clutching his books close to his chest.

Turning away, she walked faster.

Levi’s legs moved on their own, following after her.

Although (Name) had hurt him deeply, he still loved her. Levi honestly thought it was impossible to hate the young woman.

He wasn’t the most athletic but Levi ran all over the academy looking for his beloved (Name). He finally stopped to catch his breath, heaving as sweat dripped from his forehead to the floor.

Straightening from his hunched position, Levi’s gaze settled on two nearby figures. They sat on a bench in one of the gardens, chatting casually.

“Seriously (Name), why would I believe that a cat attacked you? I’m not that stupid.”

The latter’s roommate rubbed some ointment on her wounds while (Name) placed an ice pack on her bruised eye. “If the shoe fits.”

That response earned the injured female a gentle wack to the head. It kinda hurt but she brushed it off, making smooches at her friend to mask the pain. Both laughed, causing (Name)’s swollen lip to split open.

Blood trickled down her chin. Immediately, her roommate stood up, handing (Name) a napkin to hold onto. Red bloomed across the whiteness of the paper. “OH!! I’ll get the nurse! Stay here, I’ll be right back!”

Nodding, (Name) watched her friend go before glancing in Levi’s direction. She’d spotted him earlier. Said male flinched at being caught, as he had been hiding behind a pillar.

While Levi pondered if to approach, (Name) had already directed her gaze elsewhere. She had put the ice pack down awhile ago. There was a certain sadness in the way her lip twitched, brow furrowing slightly.

Slowly, Levi joined her at the bench, fiddling with his fingers. “Are—are you okay?” Hesitation laced his voice. The previous connection they had was severed. Things were awkward now.

“Yeah..”

“That’s good.”

It was silent for a moment. (Name) still refused to look at him. Levi considered leaving, feeling unwanted. Still, he needed to address something that had been bothering him since yesterday.

Both of them spoke at the same time.

“Do you hate me?”

(Name)’s and Levi’s eyes widened. He was the first to answer, “I don’t... hate you..”

It was a small, but (Name)’s face softened. “I’m glad.”

Pursing his lips, Levi blurted “What about you? Do you, hate me?” before he could help himself. He was desperate to know.

The female shook her head lightly.

“Then, why won’t you look at me?”

She went silent.

When she faced him, Levi could see the tears threatening to leave her eyes. “Because—I don’t deserve to look at you..” grabbing his hand, (Name) continued, “Yesterday I said a lot awful things. Although they weren’t true, I still hurt you and I’m sorry for that. I don’t expect you to forgive me.. but I wanted you to know.”

Levi felt something wet hit his hand, it took him a second to realize that it was (Name)’s tears. She brought his hand to her forehead, “You mean so much to me...” she whispered, almost to herself.

The small confession was the straw that broke the camels back. After that, (Name) couldn’t stop crying. The tears kept on coming, it was suffocating. Her head began to throb.

“A-ah.. don’t cry..”

Levi hated seeing her like this. Perhaps he was weak when it came to her. Only (Name) could hurt him as much and still hold his love.

“I can’t— hiccup— stop..!” She truly couldn’t, it was like a curse. Levi placed his lips on her, gentle. Still, she winced slightly.

The action was so sudden that (Name)’s eyes resembled saucers; well, as much as they could when one of them was nearly closed and black. It worked. The tear works stopped. “If.. if you really like me then why did you say all those things?”

He couldn’t forget about that. He desperately wanted to know what pushed her to insult him that badly. He couldn’t forgive her till he knew.

Wiping her eye, (Name) opened her mouth to explain. “Remember our first encounter?” Pink tinted Levi’s cheeks as he nodded. How could he not? It was the first time he’d been able to confess his love, to kiss her and have her touch him. It was forever engraved in his mind.

Digging around in her bag, (Name) brought out a device. Making sure that no one was around, she pressed play.

The screen showed Levi in the restroom, dick out as he jerked off, moaning her name. He still had her panties on him.

Embarrassment burned on Levi’s face, grabbing the thing from her and erasing the evidence. He remembered now. After he’d left her room, he became hard at (Name)’s last words to him.

It would’ve been shameful to walk back to his dorm with a hard on, so Levi headed towards the nearest restroom to take care of his problem. He thought it was empty, unable to hold back his whines.

“Why would they—?”

It was obvious. They hated him. “I rejected Astaroth around the time we began to you know. He always took things personally. This was his revenge.”

(Name) didn’t have to elaborate why it was a bad idea if that video circulated throughout RAD.

Not only would Levi would be humiliated, but also expelled for behaving indecently in an educational institution. Him and his brothers were part of the student council, meaning they represented the school.

This would’ve brought shame to his entire family.

“I had to do it. I couldn’t allow them to ruin you.” Her head hung low. “They wanted me to reject you, just like I’d rejected them.”

(Name) immediately got payback, jumping them after school. “They won’t be coming to RAD anytime soon. Although...” she touched her swollen eye, hissing. “They did get in a few hits.”

Levi was silent, processing everything he’d been told.

(Name) sneaked a glance at him. His lip had some of the blood that was on hers, probably due to the kiss. “Do you feel bad for them?”

“Not really... they hurt you..”

“That’s what they get for threatening the person whom I hold dear to my heart.”

Suddenly embarrassed by her words, (Name) sighed and leaned her head on the crook of Levi’s shoulder. “I think I have a concussion.”

“L-let’s take you to the infirmary then!”

“No, i want to stay here for a while.”

Levi held her close; his hand rested on (Name)’s back moving slowly to ease her. They remained in silence for a couple of minutes till he broke it—the ultimate question popping into his mind.

“(Name)... what are we?”

They never got the chance to put a label on it. For all he knew, they were merely friends with benefits.

“I’ll be whatever you want as long as you’re mine.”

His heart skipped a beat. She really had no idea how much her words affected him.

“And you’re mine too right?”

“Always.”

#obey me #levi obey me #obey me levi x mc #obey me leviathan #om leviathan #leviathan x mc #levi x mc #levi x y/n #levi x reader

[wlw-lovestruck-fiction]

Can I request a Viv Tang fic or hc?

It's angst, where The Poppy leaves MC to take the blame on one of their heists, promising that they would break her out, but never did. Yet despite that she never sold them out.

Then Nadia was the one who broke her out, manipulating her and plotting lies in her head to make her join Flashpoint.

The Poppy did do their everything to break MC out but everytime Nadia intercepts them. So when they finally tracked down where MC and Nadia is, on the location of their latest operation, they tried to reason to her. But MC's loyalty was too deep for Nadia maybe because Nadia also made MC think that she loves her or something.

And maybe the last words could be:

"Next time I won't hesitate to tell them to pull the trigger, maybe I'll be the one to pull the trigger myself."

Make it as angsty as possible please and thank you in advance!

Warning: Mentions of murder.

...

Prison life was hell. Try as she might, MC couldn’t endure it as well as she thought she could. There was an enemy in every shadow, in every corner. There was no one to lean against, no support.

The days dragged on and on, virtually endless, no help in sight.

MC remembered the warmth of the Poppy, their joyous celebrations, the life in their eyes as they planned a heist that would ultimately unveil in failure. No one had known then that it would go wrong, and MC couldn’t help but wonder if they would have cared. If they would have changed anything in the plan.

There wasn’t a moment in this damn place where people didn’t shove it in her face—no doubt it was on purpose, why the heck would they want to drag a failure like you around? —and scoffed at her when they saw her, not believing for a second that this scared little kid could belong to such a famous group.

Two weeks in, MC had abandoned any hope that she would be rescued. She was stuck for fifteen years in this place. Investigators would come in periodically, their eyes stone cold as they probed her for answers, but MC kept her mouth shut and looked away. They would get physical sometimes, intent on getting answers, but MC say nothing.

The memory of a place she truly belonged in was still fresh in her mind. She had always been an emotional person… it was no surprise she had no desire to sell them out. At least not yet. Give her a couple of months, and maybe she’d be bitter enough to do it.

Three weeks in, a blast had knocked the whole prison into chaos. The sheer relief that flooded her was only slightly evaporated by the spark of anger and indignation in her chest, but she still hurried out, thirsty for freedom.

She expected to see Vivienne’s impish smirk, hand extended in her direction, no remorse in her eyes, but was surprised by golden hair and a tight, crisp suit that had once been white, now marred by dirt and smoke and blood.

“Oh good, I was wondering how much target practice I would have before you showed up,” the woman said, her grin as sharp as a knife’s edge even though she was standing so casually, as if they weren’t standing at the edge of a broken prison wall but in a café.

MC froze, caught off guard. Someone—another inmate—ran behind her, intent on reaching freedom, and the woman whipped a gun in his direction so fast he didn’t even have time to react. His body joined the pile of bodies by the side, momentum making it flop like a sad, broken doll. The woman hums to herself as she reloads the gun.

“Hurry up, MC, I don’t have all day.”

“Wha—? But you just shot—”

She shrugs, nonchalant. “Yeah, well, since they are no use to me… I might as well practice my aim, no?”

“…I—”

“Hurry up and come here, MC,” the woman says, impatience making her voice firmer and deadlier. Her arm snaps up, the sound of a gunshot making the air vibrate, and MC covers her ears and flinches. Someone lets out a pained gurgle and the thump right behind her makes MC shiver. A swift glance reveals it’s a guard. “The cavalry has arrived—next shot is at your feet if you don’t move. Right. Now.”

MC has never run so fast in her entire life. The woman’s grin returns, pleased, and after one last shot, she guides MC out into a waiting helicopter. They are out of the prison without much trouble. Still a bit anxious, MC takes one of the seats, stiffly. In contrast, the woman lets herself drop in the seat in front of her and all but beams at her.

“Sorry about that—I like to make things dramatic. Name’s Nadia.”

“That was… a tad more dramatic than I would have liked…”

“You’ll get used to it in no time,” she replies, waving her hand as if it’s no big deal. She smirks and lets the gun drop on MC’s lap, who goes very still, staring at the device in horror. “Safety’s on, chill. I’d never do anything to you, MC.”

“You literally threatened me like three seconds ago.”

“Because we were going to get caught otherwise! I wouldn’t have acted on it, promise.”

MC chances a look at her eyes—there’s a dangerous amusement dancing in them, like the light blue of a river that doesn’t seem to have a very strong current until you are swept off into a certain death. There are no second chances with this woman, no false appearances. MC doesn’t realize how reliving this raw honesty is until it washes over her, and she wonders if right now she’s at the edge of the river. One wrong move…

“Thank you for getting me out of there.”

“No big deal. I heard what happened with the Poppy—figures they aren’t as noble as they make everyone believe.”

Those words cut into MC like a frosty knife.

“I… I thought they sent you to break me out…”

Nadia scoffs. “Me, working with stuck-ups like them? Now that’s a good laugh.”

“Why did you bail me out, then?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” She leans forward. “The Poppy threw away some very valuable talent. As any proper thief would do, I claimed it for myself.”

“…threw away, huh?”

“They were quite satisfied with themselves, too. Imagine the fit they’ll have when they know you’re with Flashpoint now.”

It’s hard to believe her words. The image of a joyous Poppy is still fresh in MC’s mind, but Nadia’s words tint it a dull reddish-brown, just like a faded photograph. She thinks about Vivienne’s words, about her promise to break her out, and frowns.

“You speak as though I’ve already joined your little group.”

“There’s no other option, MC. I’m not letting a talent like you slip away… plus, don’t you want to get back at them? Show them what a horrible mistake they did?”

“…”

“Or just let them seethe silently in rage, sure. Can’t say I love your approach, but eh.”

Her fingers curl around the grip of the gun. “What happens if I don’t want to work for you?”

Nadia looks at her with keen interest, still with a lazy smirk. “Then you’d be volunteering for target practice.”

“I thought you say you wouldn’t hurt me.”

“I don’t hurt my coworkers, no, but if you cross me—whoever you are—then you seal your fate.”

MC hums, looking at the firearm in her lap, moving her thumb over the safety. After a small pause, in which she glances over at the pilot, she moves her hand away.

“Fine. I’ll join.”

“Great!”

Flashpoint, true to its name, prefers more flashy heists.

MC wasn’t too comfortable with their modus operandi at first, but got used to it soon enough.

Nadia was a strict leader. Every conversation with her was intense and dangerous, especially when she was in a bad mood, but she was thorough.

She didn’t mince her words. She was as honest as could be, and after months caught in Vivienne’s game, Nadia was a breath of fresh air. MC couldn’t be really blamed for falling in love with her, right? In the end, Nadia was the only one willing to support her.

That’s why it had been such a surprise when, in the middle of their latest heist, the Poppy had intervened.

They had been as organized as always—Flashpoint was completely caught off guard, the communication lost. MC could deal with not knowing what happened to the rest, so long as she had Nadia with her.

Nadia had been strangely amused when the Poppy crashed their heist, not worried at all, gripping her knife without a care in the world. That was reassuring… at least during this forced encounter, MC would have her by her side.

And it was comforting to see that Nadia hadn’t taken out her gun yet.

Vivienne is the one who speaks, voice as demanding as firewood smoke, and MC goes deadly still when the seductress goes straight to the point instead of dancing around the subject as she usually does. “Nadia prevented us from breaking you out.”

Her words ring hollow. Now that MC has been out of her influence long enough, it’s easy to ignore her words. They are fake, anyway. They must be.

Nadia scoffs, wolfish grin still in place. “Blaming me now, huh? That’s low. I thought you would have come up with a better excuse.”

Remy instantly starts to explain the foiled attempts, and their most recent efforts to find Flashpoint now that MC was with them, but MC can’t look at him without remembering her time in prison—dark, dark, not an ally in sight, contempt in every corner—and it’s enough to make her bristle.

How dare they? How dare they spill these lies after leaving her to rot in jail? After lying to her for months, making her believe she was one of them?

The fact that they had left her to take the fall was insulting. If it had been Nadia, she would have stayed with her. They would have gone down together, guns blazing. Nadia was the type of person that gave everything or nothing at all.

Vivienne tries to speak again, a desperation in her eyes MC had never seen before, but the sight is oddly satisfying.

Nadia catches it, because of course she does, her smirk softening as she reaches for her gun and aims casually. “Better beg for your lives now.”

And Nadia’s also a very dramatic person, that’s for sure. MC almost wants to laugh at their faces, eyes trained on the gun, expression tainted with disbelief, but MC sees no point in killing them. Not like this, at least.

“What? You still don’t want to get back at them?” But even then, even with how much she’s itching to pull the trigger, Nadia lowers the weapon and scowls. “Fine.”

“Don’t come back to me with this bullshit. Next time I won’t hesitate to tell Nadia to pull the trigger. Maybe I’ll even pull the trigger myself.”

Vivienne sets her jaw and stands still, and MC gives her a small, triumphant smile before she follows Nadia out of the museum.

#Anonymous #answered #lovestruck #lovestruck fanfiction #qot #queen of thieves #qot nadia #lovestruck nadia #queen of thieves nadia #nadia pshenichnikova #nadia x mc #angst

[msmarvelouswinchester]

Not A Fairytale

Summary - Your life after you had met Dean was going great until he showed up in the middle of the night and everything around you came crashing down.

Pairing - Dean Winchester x Reader

Warning - Fluff-ish, Angst, Not so happy ending.

Square filled - Angst ( @anyfandomgoesbingo )

Word Count - 1539

A/N - This is written for @zombitch-inthemegacoven's Bingo (second submission).

This is also a submission for @jay-and-dean's To Be Continued challenge. Prompt is in bold. Hope you like it! (Sorry for breaking your heart in advance)

Unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

“They lived happily ever after.” Closing the hardcover edition of Grimm’s Fairy Tale, you sneaked a glance at the little girl and sighed out loud.

“No more stories, Callie. You need to go to sleep now, sweetie.” You smiled, leaning in to kiss the top of your daughter’s head.

“Mommy. Sweep with me,” Callie looked up at you with her beautiful brown eyes. “Pwease.”

“How can I say no to this adorable face?” Tilting your head, you said. Your daughter let out an adorable giggle. You put the book away and snuggled closer to your baby girl, pulling the covers upto your chest. You gently ran your fingers through her soft hair and you slowly felt her breathing getting even as the motion of your fingers lulled her to sleep.

“She looks adorable.” The deep rumble from behind you made you jump.

“Dean.” You sucked in a deep breath, turning your head to see the green-eyed man. Callie stirred in your grasp as the sudden commotion disturbed her sleep.

“Hey it's okay. Go back to sleep. It's just Dean.” You whispered but Dean’s name jolted her awake.

“Dean?” Callie called out, her eyes wide open now.

“Hey baby girl.” Dean cooed as he moved towards her side of the bed.

“Great! Now she is fully awake and all my efforts to put her to sleep went to waste,” you faked annoyance. Dean mouthed a ‘sorry’ as he sat on the bed. Your daughter kicked the covers away as she crawled into Dean’s lap. Your heart swelled with happiness at the sight in front of you. This was all you ever wanted. A family. You stared at the flannel clad hunter as he nodded his head enthusiastically when Callie told her about the cookie incident that happened in the morning.

“So a cookie monster, huh?” Dean amused.

“Yes!” Callie nodded. “He will steal all my cookies so Mommy keeps them hidden. Dea, will you pwease fight him?”

“Fight the cookie monster?”

“Yes.”

“But he is a really bad monster. Maybe it's better to keep the cookies hidden.” Dean smiled.

“No Dea! Mommy says you fight bad people. You can fight him too!” She looked up at the man.

“Callie,” you called, “sweetie, you need to go to sleep. It's way past your bedtime.”

“But Mommy, Dea is here.” Your daughter tightened her hold on Dean's jacket, while nuzzling her face into his chest. He gave you a half shrug as he let the little girl rest in his hold.

“Cal.” You sighed. “Come on, baby. Dean had a long journey. He needs rest and so do you.” You reached for her despite knowing she wouldn't let go of the hunter very easily. When Dean had waltzed his way into your lives, he not only became an important part of you but of Callie’s too. That little girl absolutely adored him and he cared for her like his own child.

“No!” She huffed.

“Callie.” Dean nudged the girl in his arms. “How about I lie down with you and tell you about the wish monster I had to send out for a time out? Hmm? Sounds good?” She nodded.

You moved out of the bed but instead of leaving the room, you stood there at the doorway. Your lips curled up into a small smile when you saw Dean lying down with your baby girl, telling her a story of how he defeated a wish monster. Callie’s eyes widened when she heard about how Dean came face to face with him, and ordered him a timeout. His calloused hands ran up and down the girl’s back, soothing her as she slowly slipped into a deep slumber.

“That works on me too.” You smiled. He gently untangled himself for the iron holding of the girl and made his way towards you.

“Like mother, like daughter. That little devil is fully sedated,” he chuckled but something wasn't right because his laugh felt forceful. Taking his hand, you guided him towards the couch.

“Talk to me.” You whispered. He sat down on the couch, pulling you down with him. You looked him in the eye, and saw them glistening with unshed tears. Swallowing hard, he clenched his jaw tightly. “De.” You cupped his face as he looked away from you.

“I'm okay.”

“No you're not. I can see it, something’s bothering you. You are not a guy to show up here in the middle of the night. What is it?”

“Mom’s dead.” He croaked.

“What?”

“Mom. She died. I couldn't stop it.” Your heart clenched in your chest when his shoulder slumped with defeat. Your hand brushed through his unkempt hair as he leaned into your touch. “I keep on trying but I can't win. Ever.”

“I'm sorry, Dean.” Your voice wavered as your own emotions overtook you.

“All my life, I-” His voice caught in his throat. Letting out a shaky breath, he cleared his throat.

“It's okay. It's going to be okay,” you said, pulling him closer to you.

“Don't. Don't say that.” Dean gave you a small shove as he moved away from your hold. “All my life, I have been telling myself that someday it's going to be okay but it never gets better.”

“I know. I'm so sorry.” You reached out for him but he jerked his head away from your touch.

“I'm sorry, Y/N/N but I can't do this anymore.” He whispered in broken sentences.

“Do what?”

“This thing….between us. I can't live thinkin’ every second of my life that maybe a demon or-or something has got to you” You felt the air getting knocked out of you as the world around you came crashing down. You stared at the man in front of you, dumbfounded.

“A-are you breaking u-up with me? Why?” You breathed out.

“Yes.” His curt reply infuriated you. He was throwing away two years of relationship. You needed more than just a simple yes.

“Why did you come here tonight? Please don't say you came all the way to here in the middle of the night just to end things with me?” He kept quiet which only confirmed your worst thought.

“Why?” You begged.

“I needed to see you and Cal one last time.”

“Don't leave. We are happy. Is there something I did? I'll make it up to you. We can get through this.”

“Don't you see? I am a danger to your life. Staying with me is like signing your own death warrant and Callie’s. I need to get away as far as possible to keep you safe. You have done nothing wrong. It's all me. I still love you so much.”

“No. This is not true. I am safe with you. After Callie’s dad left us, I felt like I was drowning but meeting you was like coming up for fresh air. Don't you see? You saved me.” You reasoned.

“I want to be your protector, sweetheart, not your executioner and I can't protect you if the people around me keep dropping like flies.” Dean stole a glance and saw the tears roll down your cheek. It broke his heart to see you like that but he knew what had to be done. He needed to let you go.

“I am still here. Callie's still here. We will be fine.” You said.

“What if something actually happens? That's a risk I'm not willing to take.” He whispered, locking his eyes with yours.

“When does the great Dean Winchester ever back down from a challenge?” You scoffed. His eyes hardened at the question.

“There is no challenge here. I'm trying to keep you and Callie safe because if I lose you, I'll be gone.” He replied, averting his gaze.

“What about Callie?”

“She is just a child. She won't remember me.” He said and stood up. Tears were flowing freely down your cheek. He turned towards, leaning down to press his lips against yours. “I love you but this is for the best. You deserve a good man not some running-from-the-law, monster killing machine. You need someone who will stay with you forever, not a man whose life is always on stake. You deserve so much better.”

“You are the man I want. I don't want anyone else,” You cried out. “You are my happily ever after. Please stay. I love you.”

“It's going to be painful but you will eventually get over me.” He said firmly. He had made up his mind. There was no turning back now. He looked at you carefully, as if he was trying to memorise your face. You tried to touch his face. He took your hand into his. Giving you a chaste kiss for one last time, he walked away from you towards the door.

“If you walk out of that door now, it's over for us.” You told him.

“I know. I'm sorry.” Dean Winchester said as he walked out of that door leaving you behind with the pieces of your broken heart lying at your feet. A sob tore through your throat as you wondered how you would tell your baby girl that Dean wasn't ever coming back.

Maybe happily ever after didn't really exist in the real world afterall.

Feedback is highly appreciated!

#supernatural #dean winchester #dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #jay's2ktobecontinued #dean winchester fic #dean winchester x y/n #dean winchester one shot #dean winchester x you #deanxreader #dean winchester fanfic #dean fanfiction

[nextwarden]

Webtoons are good for the soul [Long post] [but worth it] [hopefully]

Bit of a long one (for a change...), sorry.

I haven’t read that many that’s a lie but here are my favs!

Lore Olympus by Rachel Smythe [ongoing - every Sunday]

or when Hades met Persephone. It’s a love story, fluffy yet deep and sad at times. Very well told and with incredible art (as you can see from the cover ci-dessus), in a pastel/watercolour fluid style, as is the storytelling. It has compelling characters, character growth, love, funny moments, and basically the best you could ask from a romantic story. And it had enough material to get you through good number of hours of reading before you have to break down every sunday in wait of the following week like the rest of us.

mah-hart-mah-sole/10

Love Advice From the Great Duke of Hell by unfins [ongoing - every Friday]

Paul is in love with a cute girl who works in a café nearby. But Paul is shy and can’t work out how to go ask her out. So Paul does what anyone would do and summons one of the Great Dukes of Hell in order to get better at fumbling his sentences and blushing at beautiful maidens. It’s about discovery of one’s true self and how getting deep into shenanigans will lead you to find so much more. Also, sister. (You’ll understand when you get there.)

It’s funny but also compelling and serious but still incredibly funny. I don’t think I’ve laughed as much reading any other webtoon and yet the story is also really cool. It strikes a perfect balance, or near perfect. The expressions and the action scenes are just incredible too.

chenandeler bong/10

Suitor Armor by Purpah [ongoing - every Friday]

In a land with magic and war between humans and fairies, Lucia is the princess’s lady in waiting and her only goal in life at the moment is to get her Lady to have the wedding she wishes for and deserves. But then she gets a flower from a magic armor and everything changes. Also, she’s a fairy.

It’s well drawn, characters all seem unique, varied and personnality-driven. The art style is beautiful. It’s also deeper than what I expected, with inklings of different types and levels of drama.

Alright, I’ll say it, it feels like a ‘promising new Lore Olympus’. By which I mean not to compare but simply to say I felt as taken by the story as I did with L.O.

Modeus/10

Facing the Sun by ArtbyTesslyn [ongoing]

Aarya reaserches the intricacies of dobotics and artificial intelligence with her companion robot Liza who's expiration is long everdue. Things change with a hardware update. One can’t live without the other, and neither can the other.

It’s dark but beautiful, both in the art and in the story. The sci-fi elements aren’t overwhelming and pieces of lore bring begin to pain a picture over time. It’s a slow burn but oh lord! if it isn’t going to be blazing hot...

I Robot/10

Spellbound by Ronce [ongoing]

Eglantine joins a new highschool midyear and finds herself paired with a refractarian roommate. She does her best to fit in to her new school despite not conforming to all the expectations that others might have of her. Or of her strange but likeable roommate.

It’s a cute and queer little romance, very underrated in my opinion. The art is wonderful, it’s black and white in the beginning and starts having touches of colour here and there before going full blown coloured, and I didn’t even realize it had until many chapters into it... The characters all all diverse and interesting. Also did I forget to say it’s set in France and it’s a wizarding school? Because it is!

conseiller principal d’éducation/10

180 Angel by King Katbird [ongoing]

Chloe is an angel, she lives in Heaven and goes to school in the hopes of becoming a delivery angel one day! However her plan are compromised by her inability to do anything well except halo manipulation. Even flying is not easy for her. But a fateful meeting with a reaper sends her on a trip to Hell and back which changes her. Or is it that she had always been different?

It may not seem much from the banner but I tried it and I got hooke. The art is great and still improves over time, the plot takes a bit of time to set in - I’m still not sure it’s fully set in yet - but it’s worth it, and the characters are visually deep. It sometimes jumps weirdly between scenes or sequences but not so much it completely loses you.

LAMP/10

Letters on the Wall by JaelynGs [ongoing]

Tara comes back fom spain after a five years abroad to find things have changed and others haven’t, to her equal pleasure and dismay. This is how she and her friends deal with these old relatioships that they are now reviving.

Everything doesn’t go smoothly despite each and every character deserving them to. The art is good to begin with and manages to improve over time, as well as the storytelling. Where it might have been a bit hectic before, it smoothes over time. It was for the longest time the only reason I would stalk Webtoons everyday to see if there was any updates. Also each chapter has a colour in the name and that’s just cool!

If Da Yomanville Gang [see below] got me to come to Webtoons, this sealed the deal for me to stay. [And then there was Lore Olympus.]/10

Not So Shoujo Love Story by Curryuku [ongoing - every Tuesday]

Rei Chan-chan loves Hansum, the chin chin chinny goodest looking student, more than she loves her shoujo manga. But gorgeous Hannah is in her way and won’t seem to let her get her way with him. Why is that? Well, gaybe there’s a secret hidden behind her motives? Read it to find out...

It’s funny, it’s cute, and it’s so, so stupid. I love them all. It’s dumb but so much fun to read. There aren’t that many chapters yet but enough to get into it. Also, sisters. (You’ll understand when you get there. Bis) So this is what the spring of youth feels like, huh...

chips/10

Always Human by walkingnorth [completed]

Sunati, a young engineer in training, fan of all those mods you can add to change your appearance, meets Austen, a beautiful yet modless girl who she’s been admiring from afar for a while now. She thinks the girl’s beautiful, but sdly she’s refused when she asks her out on a date, and for rather good reasons.

Now watch as they gravitate around each other and how it influences them both.

It’s a slow-burn quite realistic lesbian sci-fi story about finding love and accepting oneself and others in the midst of life and all it brings upon us. It’s cute, it’s fluffy, and it’s heartwarming despite broaching serious subjects - in a good way -, and it’s finished so you can read the whole thing! (It has enough chapters to give you a few hours of reading)

hay fever sucks/10

Da Yomanville Gang by Jason King [ongoing - every Tuesday]

Layla moved recently, to get away from a dose of angst she didn’t want to have to deal with. She meets new people, fun and friendly people, but it seems the angst can’t quite seem to leave her alone. Alone is what she’s not to deal with it anymore, however.

This is the one, long before Lore Olympus, which brought bme over to Webtoons. It’s not the best drawn, not the most compelling, but the strong point and what made me love it - beyond Layla’s chara design - is the depth of most of the characters, how not all good is good and all bad is bad, and reality often lies in the middle - and how they evolve over the course of the story. Definitely worth a read.

wheelbarrow/10

Love Bot by Chase Keels and Miranda Mundt [ongoing - every Sunday]

In the near future - the year is (Blade Runner) 2049 - technology has advanced enough to creat pseudo-artificial intelligence and thus lovebots. Xada mods and repairs those emotionnaly intelligent robots for a living. What brings this story about is him toying with a less-than-friendly client’s bot so much so that he finds himself in quite a pickle when the bot ‘wakes up’.

It seems to be BL. Let it be BL, please! The art is very nice, the story feels dark but the pitch give way to many interesting possibilities, and, well, the characters are quite nice to look at, I’ll admit... Also, angst. I don’t always enjoy it but when I do, I do.

Not many chapters but it’s getting there.

i’ll let you bot my love/10

Mage & Demon Queen by Color_LES [ongoing - every Thusday]

Malori is the best and the most promising mage student at her school. Aided by Cerik, her best friend and swordsman party member, she attempts to conquer the last floor of the demon tower, reigned over by the ferocious Velverosa, the demon queen, whose defeat will bring glory and richess to those who defeat her. But all is not quite as it seems and, what is that, might it be a crush I see over there? Oh, wait, no, that’s just our protagonist getting squished by the weight of her love...

Once again, it’s fun and stupid (a pattern? noooo) but it’s worth a read.

LES/10

Down to Earth by Pookie Senpai [ongoing - every Tuesday]

Kade live alone and depressed in spite of fleeting relatioships since his big breakup, content with simply going by life while he works in retail. One day, an alien crashes into his backyard. Zaida’s an alien but she’s cute, seems innocent, is unfamiliar with everything, so he agrees to help. Thus begins a slice of life story of them roommating in his appartment until, maybe, one of them crashes into the other’s heart?

It’s cute, heartwarming, and I sort f relate with the main character. Although I don’t know if’d prefer a cute alien, a dragon or a stalking neighbour... [that’s an inside joke, I’ll explain if I ever make a list of the good yamete onii-chan! I’ve been reading] It’s a slow burn with enough depth to hook you up. Some characters are still uncertain in my eyes but that makes me curious.

loner/10

The Remarried Empress by Alphatart / Sumpul [ongoing - every Wednesday and Sunday]

Navier Ellie Trovi is an empress. Perfect and perfectly content in every way with her life until the day a mistress enters her husband’s life. Things sort of go downhill from there. Or do they? For she also learns about herself and what she might actually want out of life to be happy. Breaking the status quo might be the way.

It feels like one of those poor quality isekai comics or manga in which the MC is brought back to a time where she has the power to change her life and decides for emancipation and revenge, but it’s not. It’s more ‘yolo’ and had interesting characters, especially the MC - no pushover - and a slow-burn plot. Don’t expect to see the flash-forward in the first chapter quite yet, but come to experience the whole affaire in detail and in the most satisfying of ways! Also the art is cool!

divorce/10

Muted by Miranda Mundt [ongoing - every Friday]

On her 21st birthday, Camille fails the ritual to become a full-fledged witch and is isolated from what remains of her old and successful family. This leads to her discovering truths about herself and her powers that will change her and those around her.

By the same author as Love Bot. I haven’t read the whole thing yet but the designs are good, the plot is interesting, the characters have depth and personnality, it has witches, magic, romance [I guess, still unsure of the details though], a bit of angst, and it’s set in Louisianna. All good points.

plant magic/10

Cursed Princess Club by LambCat [ongoing - every Monday]

Gwendolyn and her sisters, each a princess in their own right, are set to be betrothed to three princes of a neighbouring country after living all their lives happy and sheltered with their father and brother. Unfortunately, Gwendolyn is not like her sisters - and brother, for that matter - in that her beauty is... less than conventionnal. Devastated by what outsiders think of her she escapes into the forest and meets kindred spirits in the form of the Cursed Princess Club - non-gendered, they also have that one prince there! - and it might just help her grow into the confident woman she is destined to become.

I clicked for the funny hahas ‘because she’s ugly’ and cursed princess trope, I stayed for the genuine laughs and smiles and the heartwarming good nature of most of te characters. Also, haha, funny characters are funny. So, yeah, I started this with a bias - still haven’t caught up yet - and have been seduced by this lesser known webtoon. Don’t let the visuals fool you, it’s really good!

respect wahmen/10

Andy Bass by KenneDuck / Gia [ongoing - every Friday]

Andy Bass is our average highschool girl. Litterally. She’s half human, half fish, a real mermaid but vertically. That leads to less-than-friendly looks and reactions from others. However, the arrival of a new, and frankly very cute, transfer student might change all that.

Haven’t read it all yet, not that there are many chapters out, but it feel fun and promising. Also, physically imperfect characters are best characters. Down with the reign of beauty and up with 𝔠𝔬𝔪𝔪𝔲𝔫𝔦𝔰𝔪!

Chin Hansum 2.0/10

For the Sake of Sita by Haga [completed]

A medical student passionately falls in love with a fallen goddess during his volunteer abroad in Nepal, and he desperately tries to fight off destiny to save his love. [the actual summary]

Okay, I’ll be honest: I haven’t quite read that one yet. I’m guilty of only having looked at the beginning and the end to see if it seemed worth it and, oh my gorsh! it does. The art is beautiful, the story seems sad yet beautiful too (I had tears reading the last chapters without knowing much of the rest) and it’s short, so jump on it!

[I’ll probably come back to that later when I’ve actually read it completely]/10

Us Right Now by yurineseventeen [ongoing]

Rina's long-term girlfriend, Noa, decides to run away from home. Rina has limited time to find her.

Not much more to say other than it’s sweet and it feels real. I like the beginning, haven’t read the rest yet, but will definitely soon.

keep going/10

New Normal: Class 8 by Youngpaka [ongoing - every Sunday]

Dongwoon has a big head. It does not make life easy. But what if he wasn’t alone being so... different? He discovers it is the case when he joins his new school a special class full of people who are different. Things get weird fast but also better and fun.

I haven’t read this in a long time, it’s on my list though. But until the moment I stopped at least, it was fun, funny, and interesting. It’s slice-of-life comedy, often ligthearted and stupid, sometimes more serious, but globally a pleasure to read.

sensei/10

The Witch and The Bull by Moonsia [ongoing - every Thursday]

Tan's job as the King's royal advisor has nothing to do with his hatred for witches, but it does make him a prime target for a curse that turns him into a BULL! The only way to undo this hex is to rely on the beautiful witch, Aro. Can her kindness turn his feelings around, and break this spell? [the actual summary]

There are two bulls and they have to ask it questions to know which is the real bull? I dunno, I haven’t read this one... But it’s been recommnded by @berigolote​ so it’s worth a try I guess? She did recommend Lore Olympus to me, so it’s on my list anyway.

to try/10

The Right Knight and Our Days in Lumain by buttersphere [completed & ongoing]

A fun short comic about a play on the ‘knight comes to fight dragon to save princess in her tower’ trope and it’s sequel. The sequel is not finished yet (seems on hiatus) but they are worth the read for cute, funny, fluffy knight and dragon/witch romance and grumpy princesses.

need more/10

NetOL by Forever9Nine [completed]

A slice of life comic about a veeery shy cat-girl (not literally) falling in love with a warm-tempered bookshop employee ( and NOT her colleague), and all the shenanigans that ensue. It’s short, it’s fun, and it’s cute. What more to ask?

oh wow sports/10

Susuhara is a Demon by Soya S. Holm [ongoing]

The usual romance storyof perfectly perfect girl meets absolutely bazongers delinquent and reluctantly carries her unconscious ass to her appartment to help her after witnessing a gang fight between multiple idiots and her (future) idiot and saving her from a knife attack by bashing the last standing dude with a wooden shop sign. Legend says there’s a demon in K-city, I still am unsure of whom it might be.

fun/10

It Stems From Love by Soya S. Holm [competed]

A short story about a girl who loves flowers and finds herself unexpectedly coughing them up dramatically whenever she’s jealous of those around her crush. It’s short, it’s cute, a bit dark at times, but definitely worth a read!

bouquet final/10

Lesbiampires by fabarts [ongoing]

So, yeah, lesbian vampires. Nuffin’ ta add.

Well, anyway, it’s cute, it’s funny, it’s serious too, it makes me root for antihero type characters who actually murder people for fun (but in a fun and respectful way, I swear!) because, well, love./10

Perfect Harmony by bluebloodtanuki [ongoing]

An Overwatch fan-comic about Symmetra and her disaster roommates.

I don’t play Overatch but I like the lore and got dragged into fanfiction and shipping (by myself, mind you), so a fan-comic about similar dynamics AND it’s funny? Gimme.

Roadhog & Junkrat best duo/10

Love Doesn’t Talk by Ann [completed?]

A misunderstanding is fine. Two? Hmmm. Three? Surely that’s fate, no?

A cute love story unfolding before your eyes with no dialogue, only pretty pictures. I’m not actually sure it’s completed but even if it isn’t, the ending doesn’t feel disappointing in the least.

no words/10

AntiSTALKER by VOKIVORMOK [ongoing - every Thursday]

Humans, vampires and werewolves all cohabitate in this freaky highschool, despite tensions between the three races. A bittersweet yet fun love story between a fake stalker and his amnesiac prey...

Eugene wants Kira’s heart, she wants his head.

who?/10

Kiss It Goodbye by Ticcytx [ongoing]

Two lesbians in love recount to their drunk friends the story of how they met. It’s fun and cute, both in story and in art.

delinquent x prim&proper/10

Avril and the Divine Being by Charlie Genmor [ongoing]

Avril is a waitress, Cat is a reccuring client. Feeling blossom before they even exchange words and when they finally do, embarassment ensues.

I got hooked by the art style for this one and I have yet to be disappointed. Not many chapters but keep it close.

sunny/10

Sunflower by EtoileKonijn [ongoing]

Wednesday, an art student, meets Sophie, a friend of a friend. Feelings ensue. It’s beginning to have a good number of chapters (even if they are short) and it feels like it’s actually the slowest burn of them all. Very much worth a read though, for the art style especially.

cute/10

It Takes Two by love_of_pi [ongoing]

Common art style: imperfect but improving. Classic story: normal girl meets famous girl by accident and leave a great first impression. Shenanigans and romance ensue. However the tints of drama, the fun interaction between characters, and the smooth plot make it worth it.

Honolulu latte/10

A Mild Flavor by Ru-rin [ongoing]

A slice of life of different couples. One with a compromised relationship and bittersweet reflections of the past, and the other which is hidden from plain sight, at different times if life. It is not perfect but it managed to worm its way into my heart nonetheless.

tasty/10

The Greenhouse by Viesallon [ongoing]

Another one I haven’t read, but from the extracts I’ve seen the art is compelling, the story seems worth it - definitely deserves the drama tag it seems - and I keep it on my shortlist until I have time to read it.

supernatural/10

My Masochistic Boss by Arisas_Art [ongoing]

Debuting goth writer meets hellish boss of editing company about her new book. Disagreement and tensions ensue. It starts with a slap and might very well end in bed, stay tuned!

This one rebooted recently and the art is soooo beautiful, moreso than before is I may say.

sexy/10

Still Alive by Comic Kat19 [ongoing]

Half-zombie girl meets emo boy, baby ensues.

After the zombie apocalypse, they have to survive, and despite their differences, maybe together is better?

This I classify in the ‘Yuuutsu-kun to Succubus-san‘ category: a somewhat rough art style that I have come to love and enjoy greatly. Also the story is fun.

cat creature/10

The Biggest of Treasures by Aixn [ongoing]

That smile, that damn smile. It’s what got me to try and it got me to stay. The art style is beautiful and the chara designs is too. The plot? Not much to say yet, but cuteness is enough.

bright/10

---------- ---------- ----------

And there you go for now. These are my picks. I haven’t read everything on Webtoon, I haven’t even read everything I’ve subscribed to, but if I had to recommend anything I have tasted, here it is.

Sorry if I missed any you deem worthy; feel free to harass me and mock my lack of culture by flaunting your own.

Maybe more later, in the mean time: keep scrolling, scrub!

PART II

#webtoon #webcomics #comics #lore olympus #recommendations #yes i like cheesy romance stories so what? #about wlw #but not only #yes i also have a dumb child's humour #all of them deserve more views #long post #mega thread #look at what i'm doing instead of working on my finals #help

[mrslittletall]

Title: Hunters of the Abyss (Chapter 1) Fandom: Made in Abyss/Bloodborne Characters: Laurenc, Gehrman, Micolash, Rom, Maria, Master Willem Word Count: 4.561 AO3-Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32531749/chapters/80689318

Summary: On the island Belouska, in the middle of the town Orth, lies a gigantic chasm filled with precious relics and dangerous beasts as well as a mysterious curse, only known as the Abyss.

Many have ventured into the Abyss, but not everybody came back. This is one of the tales about the Abyss, in which a group of delvers takes the challenge to brave the Abyss... and maybe turn from the hunted to the hunters.

(Author's note: This is a crossover, so I wrote up a neat little FAQ which can be found at the end of the chapter. If you have questions, please look there first. I may update it when more questions arise.

Now onto this one: I watched Made in Abyss in 2020 and fell in complete and utter love with the world. Just one year prior I played through Bloodborne and well, these two fandoms had to meet! I planned for this fic for quite some time, but being busy with various writing challenges and the pandemic happening, stuff got postponed and postponed until I finally found the time to sit down and write chapter one.

The characters in this chapter are still children, but they will grow up into adults over the timespan of the fic. There will be quite a few time skips actually. The first few chapters will mainly be world building and exposure.

Last but not least, this is both Made in Abyss and Bloodborne, so be prepared for some soul crushing angst and dark stuff happening. Just... nothing will happen to children. Other than Tsukushi, I prefer to torture adults and older teenagers.

So our protagonists are safe... for now...

If you enjoyed this, please don't hesitate leaving me a comment. Both BB and MiA are tiny fandoms, so I don't expect that this will get much attention, so knowing that someone enjoyed it will be all the much sweeter.)

„Laurence, breathe!“

The boy called Laurence took a deep breath, not even having realized that he had held his breath in the first place.

“Sorry, Gehrman.”, he gasped out. “I am... nervous.”

“Of course, it's your first time.”, Gehrman said, glancing over to the group of Red Whistles which had gathered around their appointed Moon Whistle, which they all called Master Willem. Laurence' gaze followed Gehrman's. The children in front of Master Willem were all orphans from the Balchero Orphanage, like Laurence himself. The only difference was, that all of them already had gone delving at least once, while it was the first time for Laurence. He had only recently turned ten.

“Every Red Whistle gets nervous when they delve for the first time. You don't have to worry too much about going down, though, it's going up that should concern you. Speaking of going, it appears we are moving.”

“Right, the curse.”, Laurence wrinkled his nose at the thought as he started to walk alongside Gehrman. He of course knew all the effects of the curse of every single layer, but he hadn't experienced them personally. Yet. “Dizziness and nausea for the first layer.”

“Correct. And I bet with you that you have to puke on your way up, I haven't seen a single first timer who hasn't.”, Gehrman grinned at him. Laurence just gave him a look.

“I even manage to get sick without any curse affecting me, so that bet doesn't exactly feel fair.”, he said, crossing his arms. “And I certainly won't get into any competitions. You are two years older than me and used to the curse of the first layer already.”

“True.”, Gehrman said. “But before you know it, you will be twelve as well and be allowed to go deeper into the Abyss. Before we both know it, we will be fifteen and be able to turn into Blue Whistles. Time started to move much faster once I was allowed to delve.”

“Or we could die a horrible death down there.”, Laurence said, looking down at his feet. He was wearing the standard delver boots. Every Red Whistle was wearing the standard delving gear, consisting of leather pants, a vest, gloves, said boots and a helmet. Laurence didn't wear the helmet on his head though, but instead it was clasped behind it. He disliked how it flattened his locks of auburn hair. He had tried so hard to preserve his hairdo once he tried on the delver gear, but to no avail.

“Are you thinking about your parents?”, Gehrman asked, making Laurence stop in his tracks, but not for long, as Gehrman pushed him along so that they wouldn't lose sight of the group in front of them.

“...Is it that obvious?”, Laurence looked at the ground next to him, not feeling like he wanted to look into Gehrman's eyes. “I always wished they could come with me to my first delving...”

“I know, we all wished our parents could have come with us.”, Gehrman said, laying a hand on Laurence' shoulder. “We all know how you feel...”

The both of them fell silent after this exchange. Laurence' parents had both been delvers, Black Whistle's even and he always had been eager for the day he was old enough to earn his red whistle and go on his first delve. However, that day never came, because around three months before his tenth birthday, Laurence got the message that they had died on their latest delve.

He had gotten a warm welcome in the Balchero Orphanage where almost every child of delvers landed sooner or later, but the pain of their recent passing was still strong. He really really had wanted for them to be around on his first delve.

Laurence had the feeling that was why Gehrman had decided to come with him even though he was allowed to go deeper already. The older boy had a certain fondness for Laurence and the two of them soon had become friends. He also had befriended a few of the other children, a boy named Micolash, who had a face like a gremlin and deep black hair which were messy curls, a girl named Maria which wore a beautiful white ponytail and a girl named Rom, with tan skin and straight black hair. Laurence always had the feeling that Micolash seemed to like her. Gehrman, as the oldest of their group, held them together and was kind of an older brother to the four children. All of them were heading down on that delve today.

“That's why I am nervous.”, Laurence suddenly said.

“Huh?”, Gehrman put his attention back on Laurence, clearly not having expected for him to speak again so soon.

“Nervous about going down here. I have dreamed my whole life about this day. The image of the Abyss is pretty much my first memory. I always wanted to come down here and see it with my own eyes, but now that it happened, I can't help but be nervous. Of course I knew that delvers died in here, but... that never was something that should happen to someone close to me...”

Gehrman came closer to Laurence and patted his shoulder. “Laurence, once we stop, I have to show you something. I am sure it will put your mind at ease. But for now, how about you stop looking at the ground and look at what is right in front of you?”

Laurence finally released his gaze from his boots and once he saw what was in front of him, he almost lost his breath again.

The Abyss... it was nothing short but beautiful. He saw green grass and lush vegetation, in the distance he could see a river flowing through the netherworld. There were little animals scurrying around between flowers of fortitude, butterflies landing on them, collecting their nectar. Even though Orth was covered in these same flowers, their sight never stopped being beautiful. Laurence wondered if the flower came from the Abyss or if it had taken hold in the Abyss. It was common for them to throw their petals into the Abyss alongside the ashes of the deceased.

“Beautiful.”, he said, not knowing where to look first. He had been so caught up in his own head that he had completely forgotten to enjoy the experience.

“As soon as I saw it for the first time, I knew it was worth coming down here.”, Gehrman smiled at him. Then, the group in front of them stopped.

“Ah, it seems we have arrived.”, Gehrman said and then pushed Laurence' helmet onto his auburn hair. “You are supposed to wear the helmet on your head, not behind it.”

“I don't like the helmet.”, Laurence grumbled, adjusting it so that it would fit better.

“Well, better having some messed up hair than being dead from a stray rock.”, Gehrman shrugged. “You get used to it. Also, there is a glowstone embedded into it, it will help you when it gets dark.”

“Alright.”, Laurence said, stopping as well once he and Gehrman had reached the group. His gaze fell on Master Willem. He looked already very old, but apparently was still fit enough to come with them into the Abyss. When Laurence asked Gehrman about him, Gehrman told him that Master Willem always had looked old. Seeing that a delver with such an advanced age still existed, made Laurence feel a little bit better.

Master Willem looked them over, silently taking stock if every child under his care was still there and then spoke to the group: “Everyone's here? Good. Most of you have already been down here once, so you can continue like the last time. Laurence, it's your first time, so you stay with Gehrman today. I am here if any of you have any questions. Remember, we search for relics. Keep out of the danger zones and don't go out of sight. Don't eat outside of the assigned breaks, come tell me if you need a bathroom break and don't go up on your own.”

A combined “Understood, Master Willem.” sounded from the children's throats and then everyone was off. Laurence kept standing where he was, unsurely looking at Gehrman.

“So... what do we do now?”, he asked.

“First, I will show you what I talked about earlier.”, Gehrman said and took Laurence' hand, guiding him a few steps away until they stood next to the wall of the Abyss. There, Gehrman laid Laurence' hand on the wall.

“Your parents died here, in the great chasm. This means, they have become a part of it now. While their physical bodies aren't there anymore, their souls will be with you each time you go down into the Abyss. Go on, ask them for their blessing.”

Laurence felt the cool stone wall under his hand. That was the Abyss, a part of it... his parents had died in here. Their souls went back into the Abyss. He knew that. It was how Orth functioned, what Orth believed. He heard that other countries believed in something like a god, some figure in the heavens that they never saw and he never got it. Why did they believe in something that they couldn't see?

The Abyss was there, it was tangible, he could touch it. In fact, he touched it right at this moment. At this moment, Laurence felt a connection. It felt like everyone who had entered this place was in unison with him. That also had to include his parents. He wondered if they could hear him, but he would never find out if he wouldn't try.

“Mom... Dad... please watch over me.”, he whispered, opening his eyes, seeing how Gehrman smiled at him.

“And now we can start our delve.”, he said. “Follow me, I will show you how it works.”

Laurence followed Gehrman, always having questions on his mind. He probably should just spill them, no reason to stay silent. “Master Willem told us that we should tell him if we need a bathroom break.”, he started. “Why?” Wouldn't it be fine to just find a corner to duck down into?

“Ah, we are not supposed to leave his sight.”, Gehrman answered. “And he has to know where we are when we are under his care. We are also supposed to take a partner with us, so that the other can keep watch. It's how it works down here, you get used to it.”

“Hm, makes sense...”, Laurence said. “And we are forbidden from eating anything, other than when a break is called? What about drinking?”

“You are allowed to drink just fine, but we shouldn't eat outside of the designated breaks, because it can make us a bit sluggish. We are supposed to all take a little break after eating and it is easier when we all eat at the same time. Besides, sometimes new Red Whistles find food in the Abyss and eat it without thinking... and well, not everything is safe to eat.”

Laurence shuddered a bit at the thought of actually eating something poisonous. Yeah, he should stay away from anything that was unknown to him.

“Do you have any more questions or can we start delving?”, Gehrman asked, standing in front of what looked like a loose stone wall.

“Well, besides from what we are supposed to do, no, I guess.”, Laurence said, fidgeting with his fingers.

“It's easy enough.”, Gehrman smiled, getting a pickaxe out of his rucksack. “We search for loose stone structures like this and break it down.” Gehrman demonstrated his words with a wide swing of the pickaxe and soon it crumbled, revealing a small cave beneath it. “Then we get into it and search for anything that looks like a relic.”

Laurence just stood there when the wall crumbled, now very much knowing why they were supposed to wear the helmet. That would hurt a lot when stray debris would hit him. After a minute or so, he silently followed Gehrman into the little cave, his glowstone providing him with a small light source.

“And that is why the helmets are so useful.”, Gehrman said, turning to Laurence and putting something that looked like a vase or something into his hands. “Look for anything that doesn't look natural or simply unusual. The more relics we find, the better. They give us more allowance the more we can unearth.”

“I am sometimes amazed that we still can find relics...”, Laurence said, getting on his knees and searching through the rubble. “Wasn't the Abyss discovered 1.900 years ago?”

“Yes, but that doesn't mean that Orth existed that long.”, Gehrman said, his trained eyes scanning the bottom of the cave with ease and soon he had a second relic located which went into his rucksack. “Besides, all the good stuff has already been found. All we unearth is trash. Valuable trash though.”

“Hm, I guess...”, Laurence shrugged, getting a bit frustrated with searching the rubble. If anything had been in there, it probably had been smashed to bits.

“Laurence, don't search the entrance, come deeper into the cave.”, Gehrman said. “You rarely find relics at the entrance.”

“Oh alright.”, Laurence was more than glad to get away from the rubble and he wandered to Gehrman's place, searching in the opposite direction of him. When he saw something glistening in the wall, he approached it with a vague hope, but instead a yelp escaped him when he saw that it was a human skeleton!

“Laurence, is everything alright?”, Gehrman came over to him and once he saw the skeleton, he was quick to calm him down. “Oh don't worry about those, this is a praying skeleton, they are apparently 2.000 years old. Isn't that fascinating?”

“But... the Abyss was only discovered 1.900 years ago...?”, Laurence repeated his earlier statement, still a bit shaking.

“That doesn't mean that it hasn't existed for longer, don't you think?”, Gehrman said, his smile in the vague light of the glowstone looking more creepy than reassuring. Laurence shook his head and then got up. “I think I want to get out of this cave...”

“Come on, Laurence, you are getting used to the sight. There are still relics to find in here. How about you come over and help me with searching?”

Laurence looked back at the skeleton, then to the cave exit, which wasn't even far away, the cave actually was more of a little alcove in the wall, and then nodded, walking over to Gehrman. “I just didn't think my first find in here would be human bones...”, he murmured.

“Nobody expects to find them at first. I should have warned you, sorry.”, Gehrman patted Laurence' shoulder and then pointed at the floor. “Now, help me find anything unusual that you can see.”

“Alright.”, Laurence kneeled down, glad that the thick leather of his pants protected his knees and observed the floor. A few minutes later, he had several round and flat things in his hands, that clearly weren't rocks.

“I found something.”, he said. “I think...”, he then added, suddenly feeling a bit self conscious about his find. As Gehrman put his attention on him, he showed it to him. “What could that be?”

“Currency maybe?”, Gehrman suggested, looking at the relics. “There once must have been a civilisation in here, they probably used it to pay for wares and stuff.”

“Hm, makes sense.”, Laurence said, putting the “coins” in his own rucksack. “It doesn't seem to be very valuable though.”

“Like I said, most stuff in here is trash anyway. You will rarely find something good. And if, then don't even think about keeping it.” Gehrman let something fall in his own rucksack. It looked like a statue of some kind. Maybe for rituals or anything?

“What happens if we keep relics?”, Laurence asked, curious. He knew they weren't supposed to keep relics, but he never had asked what the punishment for it would be.

“Then the punishment will be worse than being hanged naked.”, Gehrman said, rather casually, as Laurence' face fell. He still had nightmares sometimes about the time a prank on Master Willem had gone too far and this had been his punishment, it had been the peak of uncomfortableness and humiliation... and they had a punishment that was even worse than that?! He didn't want to find out about it.

“Yes, so make sure to deliver all of your relics. We are taking stock of them anyway.”, Gehrman said as he saw the drained colour from Laurence' face.

“Understood.”, Laurence said and quietly kept searching, filling his rucksack with a bit more odds and ends that looked like someone's dinnerware. Maybe it was. If there were skeletons that were 2.000 years old in the Abyss, then why not their homes as well?

After he and Gehrman had cleared out the cave, which had taken far longer than expected, it was already time for their lunch break, as Master Willem was rallying them up to take a break and eat what they had brought along. The problem was that Micolash wasn't making any advances to come and sit down with them.

“That oddball again.”, Laurence sighed, getting up when Micolash still didn't move even though Master Willem had called his name three times already. “I better drag him over here.”

“Do what you must.”, Gehrman said, knowing that Laurence kind of could connect with Micolash, he always had been the odd one of the group and only when Laurence had arrived at the orphanage had he managed to get out of his shell.

“Micolash, what are you doing?”, Laurence said, stopping next to his friend, feeling a bit dizzy when he noticed that Micolash stood at the edge of a rather steep cliff and was staring down into it.

Micolash raised his head, slowly, almost looking creepy and stared at Laurence. Then, he opened his mouth and said: “If you stare in the Abyss, does the Abyss stare back?”

What? Laurence felt a bit at a loss at what to reply to this question, when Rom spoke and shouted over to them: “If you want to get swallowed up, then stare in the Abyss, otherwise head over finally, so that we can finally eat!”

Laurence heard both Gehrman and Maria giggle at Rom's statement and couldn't help but grin himself at it, while Micolash actually looked... a bit embarrassed. Maybe. It was hard to tell.

“You will understand one day.”, he murmured as he finally got into motion. “All of you will understand one day.”

“What, that staring into the maw of the netherworld is making you speak in riddles?”, Rom was at it again and the children around her started to giggle again, as Micolash glared at her a bit.

While Laurence had a hard time to suppress his own giggling, he said: “She's just teasing you, Micolash, that's all.” Though he had to agree with Rom mostly, the Abyss couldn't stare back if you stared into it. It didn't have any eyes, right? ...Right? Suddenly, Laurence wasn't too sure about it anymore. He should stop thinking about it and finally eat.

Laurence joined the group and sat down on a rock, eagerly unpacking his lunch. This morning had been a special day, not only because it was his first delve, but also because that meant that he could eat rice for the first time in his life. Orth, as a city on an island, had to import rice and therefore it had turned into a delicacy and was a food that only delvers were allowed to eat, at the day they went to delve into the Abyss, because it could be their least meal and they deserved to have something special then.

Gehrman had prepared the rice into rice balls, a simple dish with salt and alga and it had been one of the most awesome things Laurence had ever tasted, even though Gehrman told him that was one of the simplest forms in which rice could be prepared. He actually had to be stopped from overeat himself, so he had taken the leftovers with him and was now happily munching on it, enjoying the taste of the food he did had to admire from afar for so many years.

As Laurence was enjoying his food, he could hear Gehrman talk. As he put his attention on him, he saw Gehrman sitting next to Maria. Apparently he was asking the girl questions and she was answering them. Laurence slid a little bit closer to overhear their conversation.

“And what are these insects called?”, Gehrman asked, pointing at something in the grass, sitting on top of a flower of fortitude. Laurence' eyes sparkled when he saw the butterfly, far bigger than the ones in Orth and with sparkly wings.

“It's a crystal wing.”, Maria answered. “Their wings sparkle like this because of the sun that gets reflected from the forcefield. They try to dazzle predators with them.”

“Correct.”, Gehrman said. Laurence still had his eyes on the crystal wing, what a beautiful creature, when suddenly a lizard-like animal appeared out of nowhere and had the butterfly in its mouth. Nothing short but shocked, Laurence lowered the half eaten rice ball, feeling as if his food got stuck in his throat.

“And this?”, Gehrman asked, both his and Maria's eyes on the lizard.

“A stalking lizard.”, Maria replied. “Always attacks from the shadows, seemingly from nowhere, the prey won't even know what killed it. Insects are its favoured food.”

“The Abyss sure is cruel...”, Laurence mentioned from his spot, still not feeling able to keep eating on.

“It's something you will get used to.”, Gehrman said. “At least we are not part of their diet. Actually the stalking lizards can be quite tasty, if you manage to catch them. Dastardly fast though.”

“One time I thought I had one and only had the tail in my hand.”, Maria said. “And they can even get rid of their legs if they please. They can grow all their limbs back without trouble.”

“Sadly, only the meat that isn't extremities is palatable.”, Gehrman added.

“I see...”, Laurence said. He knew that they sometimes got meat from the Abyss in the orphanage to eat, but nobody actually had ever told him what exactly it was they were eating. He wondered if he had maybe eaten these lizards already.

“Do you want to know more about the creatures of the first layer, Laurence?”, Gehrman asked. “I was just testing if Maria remembered everything I told her. Feel free to join us and listen in.”

“Gladly.”, Laurence said and got up to sit closer to them. As he ate the rest of his rice ball and washed it down with some water, he listened to Gehrman and Maria going over various creatures of the first layer, the different insect species, the well known hammer beaks, a little rodent that was pretty much harmless, but could mess with trying to steal the smaller relics, the trouts that could be caught in the underground river and many more. He knew that a lot of the creatures in the Abyss actually were still unnamed, but he was sure that the first layer probably had a pretty complete encyclopedia of the wild life.

After they all had eaten, Gehrman pointed out that it was the perfect time for taking a bathroom break before they continued with their work, so they did exactly that, with Micolash, Gehrman and Laurence being one group and Maria and Rom the other. Laurence found it made sense that the boys and girls would try to stay apart from each other during it.

Then, they continued what they were doing before lunch break, with Master Willem having a vigilant eye on all of them. Laurence stayed near Gehrman and absorbed everything that his friend could tell him about the Abyss and about delving in general. At the end of the day, both of their rucksacks were filled with various relics that looked like they were just common household objects. While Gehrman kept insisting that it only was trash, Laurence knew that even the trash could be sold for a high price into foreign countries. It was how Orth managed to stay so wealthy.

“You did well today, children.”, Master Willem said as they all presented their finds. “We will rate all of your finds back at the orphanage. The better you managed, the deeper you will be allowed into the Abyss. We were only 50 metres deep today.”

“Understood.”, the children replied in unison. Laurence was pretty excited. After he had seen what was pretty much the beginning of the Abyss, he already was eager to see more. But first... first they had to get back up.

Which meant that he would experience the curse for the first time.

You will puke., Gehrman had said and as much as Laurence wanted to believe that it wouldn't happen, how bad could a little dizziness be...

The moment they had started to go upwards though, he had been hit by the worst dizziness in his life. That wasn't any usual dizziness... his head hurt, his vision seemed to swim, he actually had trouble seeing clearly and that alone was bad enough so that his stomach was revolting from the mixed signals his body gave. Laurence had to clasp a hand in front of his mouth, trying so hard to swallow down the bile that tried to force its way out, but had to give up after only a minute or two and retched on the ground, being on both his hands and knees while it happened, heavily breathing at the unpleasant sensation.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and when he looked up, tears in his eyes from the burning in his throat, he saw Gehrman smiling at him. “You will get used to it.”, he said and offered Laurence a hand which he took. “But for now get used to throwing up once you ascend. At least you are not the only one.”

Gehrman gestured at the other kids and Laurence felt a tiny bit better when he saw that Micolash pretty much experienced the same fate as him.

Still, he would be more than glad once he wouldn't have to throw up anymore after going up, but he had the feeling that would take quite a while.

After they had fully ascended and the awful feeling of the curse slowly vanished, Master Willem led them back to the orphanage where they were supposed to rest and then tally up their finds. Laurence could only think about one thing though.

It had been his first delve and he had returned alive. And still, he couldn't wait to go down into the Abyss a second time.

It truly had a fascinating aura around it, it was as if he was drawn to it.

The second delve couldn't come fast enough. (FAQ:

1) I have never played Bloodborne? Will I still understand this fic?

This fic takes place in the world of Made in Abyss. I simply put some Bloodborne characters into the world of Made in Abyss and act like if they had grown up here. There will be a ton of Bloodborne references though, but you don't have to have played the game to understand the plot I am going for. And the characters... we know very little about them, so they are basically 80 to 90 % OCs, so you can just see them as OCs if you please.

2) I have never watched Made in Abyss? Will I still understand this fic?

I strongly advise to be familiar with Made in Abyss for this fic, for it takes place in the world of Made in Abyss. You don't have to be familiar with the plot though, for I am going for a completely different plot detached from the canon of the anime/manga.

I will do my best to explain the world building though, which is 50 % canon and 50 % my own. Anyone familiar with the canon feel free to point out where my headcanons took place.

3) Will characters from MiA show up?

Any MiA characters will likely only be cameos, for I want to focus on the life of the Bloodborne characters here. Don't expect that anyone of the MiA characters has a very huge role. They will more be mentioned in passing and appear for short whiles, but never play a big role.

4) When does this fic take place? Is it during the canon timeline of MiA?

NOPE. This fic takes place before the canon of the manga/anime. During the first chapter, Riko hasn't even been born yet. This first chapter takes place around 20 to 25 years before canon and even after the characters grew up, there won't be much overlap, if any.

5) Why are you using the Old Hunter characters?

Because they are my favs, haha ^^ I have a lot of headcanons about them and they work best for the story I have in mind.

6) Laurence as POV character? Really?

Yep, because he's my ultra FAV. Truth to be told, I actually made up this AU so that I could roleplay Laurence in an MiA verse, but I liked the idea so much that I wanted to make a whole fic out of it.

7) Why did you decide to write a crossover of these two things?

When I watched Made in Abyss, I saw Bloodborne at every corner. Then I thought up Laurence' MiA verse and then... well, I read an interview from Tsukushi himself and he actually said that Bloodborne was one of his big inspirations for Made in Abyss! Speak about coincidences!) Chapter 2

#made in abyss #bloodborne #fanfiction #crossover #laurence #gehrman #micolash #rom #master willem #daily life of delvers #nothing bad happens in this first chapter #more world building and exposition #very minor emeto #thanks curse of the abyss #littlewritesstuff

[kamosweasley]

I don't want to talk - Part II (George Weasley x Reader)

Description : To read the first part and third part.

Word count : 3.7K

Warning : mention of cheating, angst

It’s been two weeks since George kicked you out. These words may sound too violent for what happened but you really feel like he kicked you out of where you found a home. It's not so much about the apartment, it's above all living with him, being surrounded by his love every day. As cliché as it sounds, you've never felt better than in his arms, and knowing you may never be able to find your way there again makes you feel terrible.

A part of you tells yourself you deserve this punishment and a part tells yourself it’s ridiculous to lose everything (including the person who matters most to you) because you love two people. You mean, okay it’s not common to be in love with two people at the same time but you can't help it, and it hasn't changed your love for George. So losing him would destroy you, because you still love him like a fool and you don't know if you will ever be able to draw a line under the life you had imagined for the two of you. But there's still hope, George sent you an owl to tell you that he wanted to see you tonight after work. He asked you to arrive a little before the store closes so he wouldn't have to wait for you. The tone of the letter was far from warm or enthusiastic but it suits you, you didn't expect him to forgive you so quickly and you will have the opportunity to see him again and discuss all this with him. You're terrified but also full of hope, if he wants to talk to you that means he doesn't just want to leave you and forget everything, right ?

So here you are, in front of Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes, the heart at the edge of the explosion. You were so scared to be late that you arrived an hour early, leaving you looking at the window with undisguised anxiety. You keep nipping your lower lip, your hands are sweaty and you keep fiddling with the ring that George gave you a few years ago. It was to celebrate your coming out of Hogwarts and getting your NEWT's at the same time. He was so happy to offer it to you, even though you had only been together for a little more than a year, he already wanted to offer you everything he could. He gave you so many products from his store, you almost got all the new products just a few days before they went on sale. It was important for him to share this with you and it made you happy he shares with you this passion he has made as his job. By the way, you must have forgotten it in the apartment, you didn't think to take them with you. You should have.

The door opens with the sound of a bell, suddenly taking you out of your thoughts and making you jump. It’s George, with a cold gaze and an annoyed look on his face.

-What are you doing here ? You were supposed to arrive later.

-I was afraid I was going to be late, so I didn't really pay attention to my advance. Sorry about that.

-Come in, you're going to scare the customers by staring at the storefront like that. You look like a psycho.

He moves to let you pass. You enter timidly and you immediately have the feeling of entering hostile territory. Maybe it's because Fred looks at you badly as soon as he sees you come in, making you want to disappear. You've never experienced hostility with twins, it's always been the other way around, even more so when you were the girlfriend of one and the sister-in-law of the other. It’s funny that Fred always acted as if you were a married couple. He was the only one to call you Mrs Weasley, saying it should motivate his brother to ask you. Today you doubt he calls you by his last name as he used to. After all, you break his brother’s heart, you doesn’t deserve any sweet nickname.

-Since you're here, all you have to do is help us organize the shelves, you know how it works.

-Okay, what do you want me to start with ?

-I think there are almost no more love potions on the shelf, there's a whole box of them in the reserve.

He hasn't even glanced at you, already on his way to see a customer. You’re going to get that box when Fred passes close to you, saying the air of nothing that you do not need to steal one of them. You immediately understand what he is implying and you want to tell him to fuck off, that it’s none of his business. But you don't have the courage to argue with Fred when you came to try to patch things up with George. That would be counterproductive and you can't blame Fred for being upset with you.

A few minutes later, you put the bottles on their display, being on your guard. You know Fred well enough to know it's not impossible that he might play a bad joke on you to avenge his brother in his own way. It might even be an opportunity to demonstrate a product to customers, unless you're getting paranoid. You’re just so tired of all of this …

-Hello Y/N.

-Luna ! You surprised me.

-I’m sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. You came to see George ?

-Yes.

-Great, I’m happy to see you both. It's been a long time since I've seen him, and so have you. I haven't heard from you in two weeks. Were you sick ?

It's weird to see her again since the argument with George. Curiously you don't have that odd feeling like all the other times, you just want her to go away before George sees you together. It would probably make him mad, he might imagine you asked Luna to come or she came to try to stop you from talking to him. You have no idea what might be going on in his head but you refuse to waste your chance.

-Kind of. You should go before you get sick too.

-Luna, what a pleasure to see you !

You stiffen at the sound of his voice behind your back, suddenly so warm that his sentence sounds sincere. But he's angry with Luna even though he doesn't let it show. He knows it's ridiculous because it's Luna, she didn't do anything to make Y/N fall in love with her again and she may not even know about it. But he resents her because she took a part of the heart he desires entirely, just for him.

-Hello George. I was telling Y/N that it's been a long time since I've seen you. It's a bit sad, you're good friends and we see so little of each other.

-But you have seen Y/N a lot in the last few months.

-True, but not for the last two weeks. It was as if she had disappeared, I thought she finally asked you to marry her and the two of you have stayed together ever since. It could have been a secret wedding, I think that's your type. But she told me she was sick.

-What ? Ask me to marry her ? Why would she do that?

-Luna !

-Sorry, I thought you talked about it with him.

-You wanted to ask me to marry you?

-I don't think it matters now.

-I'm sorry I embarrassed you, Rolf tells me I should be more subtle when talking to people.

-Who is Rolf ?

-She didn’t tell you ? Rolf is my fiancé, he’s a magizoologist like me. We met at work, he is adorable and very nice. I'm sure he's going to love your products, I came to buy some for him. He's going back to England in a few days.

George feels lost, he had no idea Luna had gotten engaged. If he had known, maybe he wouldn't have been so angry with you, because he wouldn't have thought Luna could dump her fiancé to get back together with you while you were in a relationship. He knows Luna well enough to know she is not that kind of woman, no matter how she feels about you she would have pushed you away and told you to stay with him. She has always been so nice and fair while he feels terribly selfish. 

-Congratulations, I had no idea. It's wonderful news, you have ... have you picked a date yet ?

-Yes, we will soon send out the invitations, you will receive one of course. It will be this summer, dad is very keen on it. Don't hesitate to come in yellow, it will make him happy.

-I take note.

-I'm going to go pay, it's closing soon. It was nice to see you again, feel free to visit me anytime.

The blonde goes to the cashier after a smile. You've never felt so embarrassed in front of George, it was the weirdest conversation and you don't know what effect it had on him.

-Why didn’t you tell me she’s engaged ?

-What difference would it have made ? You said that no matter what happened between her and me, the problem is I had feelings for her again.

-Luna would never cheat on someone, least of all her fiancé.

-So you trust Luna more than you trust me. Great …

-You're not going to get offended when it's all your fault in this story !

-George ! Calm down, the store is not closed yet.

He almost screamed while there were a dozen customers in the store, most of them looking at you waiting for the next part. Can this day get any worse ? It hasn't even been 10 minutes since you walked in and it's only getting worse.At this rate George won't even want to talk to you anymore and you'll have to say goodbye to him forever before the store closes. Resuming his professional appearance, he clears his throat to regain his composure and walks away without a word. Then you go back to what you were doing before Luna arrived, putting the small bottles carefully. You feel tense, it seems like there's not much missing for you to break down and either burst into tears or go crazy. It's like being in the middle of a nightmare, you would give anything to make it stop and wake up in bed with George's arms around you and his breath on your neck.

Lost in your thoughts and anxiety, the closing finally arrives and Fred leaves the store for the apartment above, not without giving you yet another bad look before winking at his brother. Here we are, and you just want to run away.

George comes to you, always with his mask of indifference on. It’s only a facade, you know him by heart and in truth he tries not to show he’s in pain. You're both in pain but you're the only one to show it, that's the game. All means are good to make him understand this separation hurts you and you miss him. You’re sitting on a step of the stairs leading to the second floor, with desperate eyes looking at the ground like a punished child. It's not going to be a piece of cake, he's probably going to say some hurtful words, but everything has to be said and heard.

-What about the proposal ? Were you really going to ask me ?

-I really thought about it, I never lied when I said that I love you and you are the man I want to make my life with.

He says nothing, assimilating this information with difficulty. He's still hurt and angry about what you did, but he feels it's not as he imagined it would be. He thought the moment he threw you out, you had gone to join Luna and since then you had been consoling yourself in her arms. He doesn't doubt your love for him, he saw how you were that night, but he thought you would move on with time, with Luna. He imagined himself learning that you were moving in with her, and the day you were going to get married. It destroyed him from the inside, this image, this perfect happiness that you would live with her when it should have been with him.

-You are the most important person to me, since we have been together for so long, I told myself that I could be the first one to make the proposal.

-Sounds ridiculous …

-You know that I want your kids. We already talked of this, I want 4 children and you, 5.

-Stop it. I know all of this too, but we can't talk of our future anymore. I'm not sure of our couple anymore.

-I understand. But you asked me to come here to talk. I'm trying to make you understand I don't want a future without you. Isn't what I'm supposed to do?

He remains silent, staring at the display of love potions. He stands up straight with his hands in his pockets and again you can't read him. You hate it, feeling like he's already so far away from you when the breakup isn't official yet. You're afraid he won't want you anymore and say it out loud, that he'll move on and make his life with another girl. He would have the right, nothing obliges him to stay with you, but how could you survive it ? He's the love of your life, it's the only thing that's been going round and round in your head for the last two weeks. It's him and nobody else, Luna is nothing compared to him. The tall man sighs and raises his head to the ceiling, you can see that he is chewing on the inside of his cheek. This is not a good sign.

-You understand it changes nothing for us.

-Not even a little ?

-I don't think so.

-Why ? It must change something. We both want to marry each other, we want a home and a family to build together. I told you more than I can remember that I am sorry and I choose you for ever and ever. Why isn't it enough ?

-You're going to get angry now ?

-I do, because I don't understand ! I understand you need time and you're mad about me and you have all right. But I didn't do anything to get her, not a kiss, not a look, not even a word. I never wanted to do anything with her, I was lost in my feelings and you … you say you will never need me again. How I'm supposed not to be angry ?

Tears fill up your eyes, it's kind of unfair of you to put a blame on him for his choice but you can't handle it. This man is yours since so many years, you've already imagined what your future would look like, to the kind of grandparents you would be. You want to live so many things with him, like traveling abroad, laughing at your children's mischief, celebrating your wedding anniversaries in so many different ways, just laughing every day of your life with this wonderful man. He can't take that away from you without you saying a word.

-Everybody makes mistakes, there is such a thing as forgiveness and you have to know how to forgive the people you love. I'm not saying this to make you feel obligated but because I want you to do it, because I still love you. Do you know that saying, "Love cannot be divided, it can only multiply" ? That's exactly right, I didn't take a part of my love for you to give to Luna. It's an old love that has woken up, it's something totally different. It's more like loving a friend very much or wanting the last broom, it’s unreasonable, foolish and not that strong as the way I love you.

-Is that supposed to make me want to take you back ?

-Shut up George ! I’m falling ! There is nothing I wouldn't do for you, and you heard Luna, I haven't spoken to her in two weeks ! I’m ready to do anything for you, to prove you my love !

-And you think that makes you respectable and forgivable ?

It's the most frustrating situation you've ever experienced, it's like talking to a wall. No matter what you say or what you do, he doesn't want to forgive you. This sudden realization makes you cry your eyes out. You refuse to give up your story, but it takes two to make one more, and George is sinking the ship. You don't know what's more powerful between despair and rage, but you're falling apart again. So it's really over ? He asked you to come here to finish you off like this ?

-George, I’m begging you … Don’t do this … Please, don’t leave me …

-I love you from the depths of my being, I was ready to give everything for you. But I can't give you my forgiveness, and above all I know I can't give you back my trust.

-But I don't understand ! I didn't cheat on you, I didn't do anything with her, she doesn't even know what happened ! I ignored her, I left you alone waiting for you to come back to me to talk and try to make things right because we love each other and this story doesn't change anything about OUR story !

-It changed something.

-No it doesn’t ! Maybe you’re afraid and you don’t trust me like before, and again I understand it and accept it. You’re hurt because you feel betrayed, you wanted to be the only one I love and unfortunately this is not the case but you still want me. In spite of everything you feel and what you told me, you still want me to become your wife and to raise a family together. You still want to offer me your newest products in advance and find me every night at the apartment. Because you know as well as I do that we are meant to be together. We survived Umbrage, we survived the war, I was always there when you needed me and you did the same. This love that unites us, it’s different from the one I have for Luna, it’s much more powerful and indestructible. We can break up if that's what you really want, but you know as well as I do that this love will never die. And you'll miss me every day of your life because I'll miss you too. I’ll love you forever, and I can’t do anything against that. 

-You’re cruel. Do you really think I'm happy I have to break up with you ? I'm not because you are ... everything I've ever wanted. I've always felt lucky to have you, I was sure we would make it. I’ll love you forever too and that’s the problem ! I can't escape you while you are hurting me, you will make me suffer all my life because I will have to try to run away from you all my life !

-You don't have to run away. Especially if it means it will make you suffer for the rest of your life.

Neither of you has moved since the beginning, almost like statues with words. You are together on a path that separates into two other paths, and you don't agree on which one to take next. One is clearly a dead end while the other leaves more possibilities. But you can't force George to follow you, if he really wants to stop everything then you'll have to accept it. Even if it breaks both your hearts, you can't stop him from living his life the way he wants. You've already done enough harm, and his feelings will make him suffer for a long time if he chooses to break up, there's no need to add to it. But you're not ready to hear it so you try to save this love story that's falling apart.

-Why can't we at least try to work things out before we break up ?

-If I come back to you, I know I would forgive you and we would go back to the way things were, almost as if nothing had happened.

-And it would be a bad thing ?

-I talked it over with Fred, he told me not to be fooled and not to give you a second chance. He says I deserve better than a woman who can't love only me.

-Excuse me but we don't give a shit about what Fred thinks. He's your brother, your twin, your partner, but he's not the one living your life. You know me much better than he does, you know our history and you know if I'm honest or not.

-So why didn't you tell me about Luna ?

-See where that got us ? As soon as I realized, I was ashamed, and I knew it would lead nowhere because there is only you for me. She has never been an option, least of all when she is engaged and I was hoping we would be as soon. I know, it sounds cheesy and cliché but it's the truth. I just wanted to wait for it to go away.

-By continuing to see her every day ?

-What would you have thought if I had stopped everything suddenly ? And I really thought it was a kind of nostalgia for a time when it was simple and not painful. The more the days go by and the more I'm sure of it, I don't miss her as much as I miss you, her absence doesn't hurt as much as yours. It was stupid to go back to her like that, I know. I’m sorry George. For all of this, it’s my fault. I never meant to hurt you, but I did. And I can never apologize enough for that, I promised you I would never hurt you. I’m really sorry George.

These words ring true in George's heart, yet this is not the first time you have said these words and he already knows everything, even what you didn't say. All you've done is tell the truth you both know, and even if it hurts he can't deny it. This is the moment when he must choose between yes and no. This is the moment when no matter what his twin brother said to him, his heart beats reason. It’s true he has loved you for four years and he can’t see a future without you, that's a pretty good reason to give a second chance. 

-Come on, let's go home.

-What ?

-Come quickly before I change my mind.

Without a word, you get up in a hurry and leave the store to let George close behind. You don't know what to expect, but this opening draws you like a beacon in the night. He lets you come home, which means he wants to try. You feel like you're living again, breathing is suddenly no longer painful, everything seems a little better and a little less sad. 

-You’ll sleep on the couch.

-Okay.

-I promise you nothing.

-That’s fair.

-I hope it will work. It would hurt too much if it didn’t.

You walk side by side in the night, without holding hands as you used to do. It's strange but there's a glimmer of hope that's lit up for both of you. Maybe it’s not the end.

#george weasley #george weasley fic #george weasley imagine #george weasley x reader #george weasley angst

[ibelongtowrath]

Come Find Me - Mammon x Reader

reuploading cause of tags lol let’s hope they work this time, also sorry i forgot to put the “read more” oop

Tags/Warnings: angst, lots of angst & mild cursing Word Count: 3.9k Notes: I tried switching perspectives, which are indicated by the dashed lines. I hope it doesn't make it too confusing! I was listening to “Give You Up” by Asking Alexandria, like really listening to the lyrics when I was smacked in the face struck by inspiration for some angsty Mammon. So, as I do, I dreamed up a scenario. This took me so long to write, and holy crap. Hope you love it!

Lyrics taken from 'Give You Up' by Asking Alexandria. 

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11 months later.

“I wasted so much time on wasting time Made a million excuses, told myself I'm above it Now there's symphony where there used to be Nothing but silence, and I'm never gonna give you up”

Pulling open the closet door to find that one shirt you remember buying, but can’t for the life of you remember where it is, you wince. Clothes and shoes are strewn everywhere, organization severely neglected as of late. You hadn’t really been inspired to straighten out your mess, not since--

No. You shake your head, suppressing the memories. Not now, not for a long time...until it stops feeling like a hot knife is carving your heart in half whenever his name flashes across your mind.

Your eyes scan and assess the mess, landing on a black duffel bag shoved into the corner, emblazoned with an all-too-familiar gold badge. Your eyes close briefly, letting the familiar icy pain wash over you, as if you’ve been walking into the winter ocean until your entire body is submerged. You stare at the bag until your vision blurs, surprised to find yourself blinking away tears as you come back to reality.

You told yourself you wouldn’t leave the Devildom with any regrets, but you did.

“Okay. Well. We’re just going to deal with this now, and bury it,” you tell yourself, needing to hear yourself say it out loud as your own affirmation.

It was finally time to face the anguish head on, instead of compartmentalizing it, telling yourself you would process it eventually. Picking up the bag, you slowly back out of the closet, a torrent of emotions beginning to well up inside you, threatening to wreak havoc. You close your eyes. Breathe, Y/N, breathe. Step back, and lean against the wall, subdue the onslaught.

Tossing the bag onto your bed, you sit beside it, hand reaching slowly to grasp the zipper. Once undone, you reach inside and pull out your R.A.D uniform, skimming the small buttons embedded in the stitching. You smile softly as you remember Asmo pouting every time you complained about how ill-fitting it was. Your hand moves to the golden R.A.D. medallion, your fingers dancing over the hard, intricately grooved surface.

Folding the uniform and setting it aside, you reach into the bag once more, fingers brushing something hard and flat. Confused, you lift your hand, finding yourself grasping your D.D.D.. Your eyes study the yellow smart phone, remembering how he insisted...Fuck. The memories begin to crash into the forefront of your mind.

“Wait, Lucifer, ya gotta give her a yellow one! She’s gotta match with me! N-not that it’s all that important or anything...” Mammon blushed, looking down towards the floor.

“I-I just think...yellow’s a good color to have. That’s all. Symbolizes a lot ‘a different good things. Luck, lotsa Grimm...thank me later.”

You didn’t know it at the time, but that was the start of your undoing.

You came to the Devildom harboring resentment. Why the hell did you have to get uprooted from your life to serve someone else’s agenda? And not only that, but you had to live with seven fallen demon brothers, many of whom barely hesitated as they considered killing you. But...then there was Mammon.

It was always him, even when you refused to acknowledge it. The first demon you made a pact with. You slide your shirt down your arm, glancing at your now-bare shoulder, remembering the slight jolt of electricity as the sigil was emblazoned into your skin. You smile softly as you remember his persistent boasting, nearly on a daily basis:

“I’m Y/N’s first man! So get your paws off her!”

Mammon. Always so stand-offish about his feelings, but so were you. That resentment you bore dug deep into your core. Your heart was indifferent. You challenged Lucifer and the other demons without inhibition, consistently getting yourself nearly killed. You disobeyed the rules and expectations designated to you as one of the representatives of the human world. You did it all with no qualms about the potential consequences, even if it could have resulted in your death. You had given up. You didn’t give a fuck anymore, so bring it on.

They all gave a fuck about you, though, even if it was mostly because Lord Diavolo forbade the killing of the human students. But Mammon…

It was more than that for him. He grabbed your hand in the face of danger, thinking he could protect you. Despite his constant denial of how he felt for you, you could see it. Not only that, your feelings mirrored his; but you were so stubborn, you were headstrong. You were not going to let yourself fall, especially not for the Avatar of Greed. You had convinced yourself that he would be a selfish lover, always putting himself first. All he would do is take from you. After all, the demon was in love with his goddamn credit card.

You were so wrong.

Turning the phone over and over in your hands aimlessly, you remember it all. How easy it was for you to keep falling back into the darkness within you, the anger and resentment you bore deep in your heart. It was easy, it was familiar. Until...

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Mammon remembers that night. He’s replayed so many times in his head, there isn’t a single detail he can’t remember.

As usual, his brothers teased him relentlessly; this time, they had gone too far.

“Oh! Y/N, I dropped my fork by your foot, would you mind being a dear and grabbing it for me?” Asmo asked, innocently enough.

Mammon had looked up upon hearing your name. He watched as you bent down and struggled to pick up the dropped fork, too far away to grab from your seat. His gaze remained on you as you stood, bending behind you to pick it up; then, Asmo lifting his hand to give you a playful slap on the ass. Then back to you, your beautiful lips upturned in a playful, flirty smile as you laughed and handed Asmo the fork.

Mammon’s anger blazed, his vision tinged red. It was like a knee-jerk reaction, the movements required no thought. He stood from his chair, nearly kicking it in, half-eaten plate of food abandoned. Wordlessly, he took his leave, the torrent of emotions welled up inside threatening to erupt. He knew it wasn’t a good idea to react, that it was only going to add more fuel to the fire for their teasing.

But he didn’t care. They took it too far, touching his human like that. He had laid his claim for you thousands of times, spelled it out, and everyone knew. Yet, it didn’t stop them. Mammon was forever the brother ridiculed and mocked most, despite being the second-oldest; his brothers’ contempt for him was never-ending. The constant jeers and derision about himself and his sin, he had put up with for millennia; but their taunting and blatant disregard of his feelings for you?

He couldn’t stand it any longer.

Mammon was on autopilot, barely feeling the movements as he walked swiftly throughout the halls of the House of Lamentation. He doesn’t even recall if he took a single breath on his journey back to his bedroom. He gripped the doorknob of his room, knuckles turning white as he nearly ripped it out while turning it. He stepped inside, slamming the door with a residual bang!, so loud that surely even Lord Diavolo could hear it in his castle.

His feet moved him to his bed, where he sat on the edge, head in his hands. He clenched his jaw, hard, in an attempt to subdue the anger pulsing within him. It wasn’t only anger, however, that was welled up inside. There was humiliation, resentment, and feelings of hopelessness; all directed at himself. Mammon clenched harder, hands beginning to shake as the emotions swelled furiously.

No matter what he did, he felt like he failed. He felt an overwhelming desire to protect what was his, and he had even failed at that. Mammon isn’t sure how long he stayed that way, caught in the middle of the emotional thunderstorm, staring at his hands but not actually seeing.

In his trance, he barely heard the knock on his door; three light taps, then one loud one. Your signature knock. It didn’t even register in his mind. He wishes he looked up to see you when you walked across his room to his bed. He only noticed when you grabbed his arm, gently, in that way your touch always was. He lifted his head slowly, the feelings of hopelessness finally starting to ebb when his melancholy gaze met your serene one.

There you stood, in all your beautiful glory. Your hair hung in glossy rivulets down your back, a stray piece hanging in front of your face; Mammon wanted nothing more than to reach up and tuck it behind your ear. Your face, your beautiful face, wore an expression that simultaneously made his heart race and feel peaceful.

“Mammon.”

You spoke his name, and in those two syllables, and he knew. He knew your soul shined so brightly in the darkness of the Devildom. He knew you were the light to all of his darkness within.

He knew he was irrevocably in love with you.

Mammon felt your grip tighten on his arm, ever so slightly. He stood before you, realizing your close proximity, and immediately felt the heat rush to his cheeks, tinting them with a rosy blush.

“Y-yeah? What do ya want, Y/N?” he asked, looking off to the side. He reached his arm up, rubbing the back of his head. “Sheesh, you didn’t even tell me you were comin’. A little advanced notice would be nice, ya know.”

You didn’t even answer. Before he could react, you had pulled Mammon into a hug, your arms wrapped tightly around his waist.

“Wha-?!” Mammon yelped. “Just what do you think you’re doin’, human?!”

He recoiled at first, arms hanging down at his sides, unfamiliar with the feeling of such affection...such love. Rarely was he ever shown such things, especially from his brothers. He hesitantly reached his arms up, wrapping them around your body, the soft texture of your hair under his fingers.

He leaned his head down, his cheek resting on the top of your head while he stroked your hair.

And then, you said it. You spoke the words that made him come undone completely.

“I love you, Mammon.”

Mammon’s body stilled for a moment. It felt as though his heart had stopped completely. The words caught in his throat, unable to speak, fingers threaded into your hair. He felt you squeeze him harder, turning your head to look up at him. His eyes met yours.

You had come here to the Devildom, and at first, Mammon was indifferent. He would have gladly sold your possessions for some extra cash with no hesitation. He insulted you, he acted like an arrogant fool. You did risky things, you talked back. And yet, you somehow were able to make your way into his ice-cold, tsundere heart.

He sunk back down to the edge of the bed, pulling you towards him. You sat upon his lap, legs on either side of his waist. He wrapped his arms around you, pressing you flush to him, fingers splayed across your back. He pushed your hair to the side, burying his head into your neck, lips against your soft skin. All he wanted in that moment was to breathe you in. He swallowed, pressing a kiss into your neck, hoping, praying that you wouldn’t react negatively.

It’s hard to remember the exact sequence that followed. The only thing Mammon knows is your lips pressed against his in a deep kiss, causing his eyes to widen in surprise. He pulled away, grinning, then kissed you again, and again, and again, his hands roaming under your shirt, across your back.

“Shit, Y/N. I guess you have me feeling some type-a way, too,” he whispered, kissing and biting the delicate skin of your neck, an overwhelming desire to leave his mark on you.

It hadn’t gone any further that night, and Mammon had been okay with it. He had walked you back to your room, grabbing you and kissing you deeply before you went in. He was sure the grin hadn’t left his face the entire rest of the night.

It was essentially the way you and Mammon had spent your final weeks in the Devildom. Stolen kisses here and there. Grabbing your hand in the hallways of R.A.D., lacing his fingers through yours. Spending the entire night together, not sleeping, watching movies on his projector or him teaching you how to play poker. Buying you little gifts using Goldie, much to Lucifer’s chagrin. He wanted to give you all that he could, to provide for you.

He held you close whenever he got the opportunity, stroking your hair, ingraining every feeling of your touch into his memory so he would never forget. He knew he was running out of time to be yours, to give you all of him. Mammon had never been so happy.

Then, that fateful day arrived. The day you were going back to the human world.

Mammon could hardly look at you when the time came, too afraid his emotions would well to the surface and tip over. He finally lifted his gaze to yours, thousands of unspoken words etched into the space between you, visible only to you and he. You had never spoken of a plan for the future, too painful to think about. He regretted all the time wasted, kicking himself for not telling you his feelings sooner.

Maybe then, you wouldn’t have left at all.

Mammon didn’t embrace you before the ceremony to transport you back began, knowing that once he did, he would never be able to let you go. He watched the light flash, as bright as your beautiful soul, taking you away with it, leaving nothing in its wake. The pain of losing you was like a knife plunged deep into his heart, twisting back and forth.

And then, you were gone.

Gone.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gone.

And then, Mammon was gone.

“Mammon.”

You speak his name out loud, for the first time since you had arrived back. You still for a second, the unfamiliar syllables passing over your lips. You hope he’ll appear suddenly, as if summoned. But of course, he doesn’t.

And he never will, not again.

The tears fall freely now, a gut-wrenching sob wracking your body. The anguish crashes over you as all the emotions and pent-up grief finally break through the dam you had built deep inside. You fall to the side of your bed, gripping the D.D.D. tightly, knuckles turning white from the effort, as if the phone holds the power to bring Mammon back to you.

You’re unsure of how much time passes before the tears finally begin to subside, opening your eyes once more, adjusting to the sudden brightness; the feeling of it unwelcome, as you had learned to cherish the dark in the Devildom. The false sense of comforting dark you felt when you closed your eyes was erased each morning with the unrelenting rise of the sun.

You lift your hand, the yellow phone still gripped tightly within. And in a moment of hopefulness, or desperation (perhaps both), you press a button, gasping as the phone lights up. Though you shouldn’t be surprised; you remember Mammon telling you he put a spell on it so that it would hold a charge long after you took it off the charger, essentially always staying on.

So you could talk to him whenever you needed it.

Fingers moving faster than your brain can compute, you open your messages with Mammon, feeling the knife twist in your gut once more as you scroll through them. You shake your head furiously, willing yourself to stop, and focus. Your fingers dance across the digital keyboard as you compose a new message.

I love you, Mammon. Come find me.

Send. You hear the all-too-familiar whoosh sound of the message sending, watching it pop up onto the screen.You stare at the phone for God knows how long, willing a notification to sound off, unsure of why you’re feeling so hopeful.

The reply never comes.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mammon stares at his phone in disbelief. He reads the message, then stands, beginning to pace around the room. He has to be seeing things. He has to be. He’s convinced.

There is no way he just received a message from you, in the human world. Especially not one telling him that you love him and to come find you.

His fingers fly across the screen, furiously typing a reply to you, pressing send.

Error! Retry?

“What?!” Mammon exclaims, pressing “retry” over and over and over again.

Error! Retry?

Error! Retry?

Error! Retry?

“This piece ‘a junk!” he yells, furious. The feeling of anguish washes over him as he realizes you won’t get a reply from him, picturing you sad yet hopeful, staring at your screen. He finds himself leaving his room, legs moving automatically as they bring him to the large double doors of the last place he ever wants to be.

“Oi! Lucifer! Open up right now! It’s an emergency!” Mammon yells, pounding on the door.

Hearing an exasperated sigh on the other side of the doors, Mammon continues to pound relentlessly.

“Lucifer! Open up-” Mammon’s words are cut off as Lucifer opens the door, a pained expression on his face.

“How can I help you, Mammon?” Lucifer asks, oozing contempt.

Mammon storms past him into the office, beginning to open up drawers, sorting through files of papers.

“Lucifer! Where the heck’s Y/N’s info? I need it. Where is it?!”

“Mammon,” Lucifer replies cooly, “what is this all about?”

“It’s Y/N! She texted me! She texted me from the human world. Can ya believe it?! She told me to come find her. I have to go to her, Lucifer, I have to!”

“Mammon, calm down. Explain everything to me.”

Mammon shoves the phone in Lucifer’s face, panic etched into his voice as he recounts the story, impatience creeping in to his demeanor. He has to get to you, and he has to get to you now.

Lucifer nods, holding his gloved hand under his chin as he thinks aloud.

“Mammon, you will have to be patient. I will speak to Diavolo, and see if he will grant you permission to leave the Devildom for a few days. Unfortunately, we do not have an exact location for Y/N. I can only give you the general area of where she lives. You will have to hope that she has remained living there, or close to the area.”

“What?! What are ya tryin’ to say, that I won’t be able to find her?!” Mammon yells in disbelief. “Of course I’ll find her. She told me to! And I can’t wait, I gotta get to her now! I can’t text her back, can’t let her know I got it…”

“I know how important she is to you, Mammon,” Lucifer says, nodding his head.

“Like hell ya do! Have you ever loved anyone that much? Or anything?”

“Mammon. I will speak to Diavolo immediately, and he will set everything in motion. It is still likely you will have to wait until at least tomorrow morning.”

“Tomorrow morning…,” Mammon repeats, trailing off. “Y/N, I’m comin’ to ya. Just hang on one more day. Please, babe…”

------------------------------------------------------------------------

You find yourself at your favorite mall the next day, hardly remembering the drive there, as if you were on autopilot.

As you enter, you stand still for a moment, closing your eyes and inhaling briefly, taking in the sounds: the tinny music filtering through the speakers, other shoppers exclaiming to one another over a new collection in a store, somebody sipping their iced coffee noisily.

You had told Mammon about coming here quite often during those last few weeks. One night in particular, the two of you had lain on his bed, holding one another close, telling each other everything. You hadn’t cared if it was trivial, you wanted to know everything there was to know. Often, you had imagined coming with him here; holding hands, dragging him into all your favorite stores, trying on clothes.

Now, that will never happen.

You shake the negative thought from your mind, fighting as you feel the corners of your lips begin to tug downwards. Turning yourself to the right, you decide to head to your favorite bubble tea stand, smiling softly to yourself. Another memory you had shared with Mammon. Rounding the corner, a figure hunched over on the soft bench near the bubble tea stand stops you dead in your tracks.

Tousled white hair, orange-tinted lenses in his glasses. A brown leather jacket, striped with white across and at the collar, a fitted black t-shirt underneath.

No. No way. Your mind is playing tricks on you, Y/N, you think to yourself.

You walk hesitantly up to him, stopping a few feet away, watching as he notices your shoes, then moves his head up to meet your gaze, that adorable lopsided grin tugging at his lips as he stands.

“Knew I’d find ya here, Y/N. Lucifer didn’t believe me, that jerk,” he drawls.

“M-...Mammon?!” you exclaim, not caring who hears. You barely feel the movements as you throw yourself into his embrace. “H-how?!”

“Ya told me to come find ya. So I found ya.”

Gripping the collar of his jacket tightly, you lay your head on his chest, tears streaming furiously down your face. Mammon lifts your head, cupping your cheeks, wiping your tears away with his thumbs.

“Hey, hey. No tears ruinin’ that pretty face. Unless they’re happy tears. In which case, cry away, I guess. But your makeups’ runnin’ down your face,” Mammon tells you, and you grin through them.

“How did you know to find me here?” you ask him as you pull away, brushing more tears away as you swallow.

“I remembered you tellin’ me about it. How you liked to come here when you weren’t feelin’ all that great,” he answers, draping an arm over your shoulder. “I tried to answer ya back, but my stupid D.D.D. wouldn’t let me. I thought ya might be sad, so I figured I’d try ya here.”

You laugh, grin growing wider.

“I love you, Mammon.”

He pulls you into another tight embrace, pressing you flush to him, lips crashing against yours in a deep kiss. You close your eyes, savoring every second of it before pulling away, eyes wide. You laugh once more as he pulls you close to him again, gasping a bit in surprise as his tongue darts out to dance with yours.

“Mammon, we’re in public!” you hiss, though you’re smiling against his lips.

“Don’t care,” Mammon retorts, kissing you again. “I have ya here with me now. And I ain’t ever gonna give you up. Never again.”

“In my darkest of days I've got a light now to show me the way It's like I've found my place And the world doesn't feel the same”

#obey me mammon #mammon obey me #obey me #obey me fanfiction #obey me! mammon #obey me fanfic #obey me fandom #mammon avatar of greed #obey me swd #swd obey me #mammon #mammon swd #swd mammon

[atc74]

Soul to Souls - Twelve

Warnings: Pregnancy, fluff, confrontation, angst, more fluff, language, more visions...or dreams? Sam’s issue is revealed, and a cliffhanger!

Summary: Since she was four years old, Annaleigh has seen the same boy in her dreams. For twenty-five years, she grows to love the boy that has now turned into a man. Dean Winchester just lost the only family he has ever known. The guilt drives him to work harder than ever before. He works to forget the pain, until he meets Annaleigh and she turns his world upside down. What she learns changes both of their lives forever, but what will he do when he discovers the truth? Will he accept it or run back to the only life he has ever known?

Pairing: Dean x OC Annaleigh

Word Count: 1683

Beta’d by: @amanda-teaches​​​​​​, @katehuntington​​​​​, thank you both for being my guides! Dividers and new cover art by the amazingly talented @talesmaniac89​​​​​​, Impala divider by @writeyourmindaway​​.

A/N: This was my very first series I ever wrote four years ago in September 2016 and I am so happy and proud to bring this back home. We’re halfway there folks, but we’ve barely gotten started!

Y’all are getting two chapters in three days! I am trying to get back on my normal posting schedule! Enjoy!

Soul to Souls Master List

Anna had been awake for a few minutes now, not opening her eyes. She was perfectly content to just lay there and drift off again in Dean’s arms, one draped protectively over her middle, fingers tracing small circles on her lower abdomen. Deciding against falling back asleep, she rolled to face him and slowly opened her eyes to meet his gaze; his eyes were even more beautiful in the morning light, shining like emeralds in the sun. 

“Good morning, Mama.” He leaned in and placed a gentle kiss to her lips.

“Good morning yourself, Handsome.” She buried her face in his neck, breathing him in, and sighed contentedly as he continued his patterns on her belly.

“Did you sleep well?” Dean inquired.

Anna sighed once more as she extended her sleepy limbs in a satisfying stretch. “Yes, I did. I feel rested and ready for the day. What about you, Babe?”

He laughed softly, placing his lips to her forehead. “I did sleep well, but I’ve also been up for quite a while now, y’know, thinking.”

She turned my head up to look at him. “How long have you been up? What time is it, anyway?”

Glancing at his watch, Dean answered, “I’ve been up since about seven. It’s now almost noon. The mother of my children needs her rest, and I didn’t have the heart to wake you. I’ve already changed Baby’s oil, washed her, and helped Bobby out in the yard.”  

Dean kissed her again, and Annaleigh felt the familiar stirring deep inside her. She wrapped her legs around him and rolled until she was settled on top of his long, hard body. She deepened the kiss and felt him respond to her. His hands roamed up and over her back and into her hair as their tongues fought for dominance. Dean moved his hands back down to her hips, repositioning her until the friction was perfect as they rubbed against each other. 

She pulled away and sat up trying to catch her breath when the sound of her empty stomach betrayed her raging hormones. She needed food. She bent over to kiss him quickly before rolling off of him and the bed.

“I am sorry, Dean. This time I need food more than I need you to scratch this itch,” she apologized, throwing him a quick wink, and headed to the bathroom to get dressed and brush her teeth. He followed her and leaned his tall frame against the door.

“Anna, I was thinking about our little secret this morning.” He kept his eyes on hers while she finished brushing. “I want to keep it to ourselves for a little while; just until we know for sure and we can get in to see a doctor.” 

“I wanted to talk to you about that, too. I don’t want anyone else to know just yet,” she agreed. “I don’t want to give Bobby anything else to worry about right now. Or Sam.” She cringed at his name on her tongue. She made her way back into the bedroom to get dressed. “Besides, I want to see my own doctor. I am going to call today and make an appointment, okay?” Placing both her hands on his chest, she raised up on her toes to kiss him. “Let’s eat. I am starving!” She grabbed his hand and led him downstairs.

“I think I can make that work. I appreciate you seeing me so soon, thank you very much, Dr. Ryan.” Annaleigh ended the call and placed her phone back in her pocket. She ate the sandwich Dean had left for her and wandered out to the shop looking for him. She found Bobby under the hood of his Chevelle.  

“Hey, Old Man!” Anna called out, walking over to the side of the car to join him. “What are you doing out here? Where are the boys?” 

“I sent them into town to get a part for me. Should be back soon.” He glanced over to her. “How are you doing, Annaleigh?” he asked, worry set deep in his eyes.

“I am doing okay today, Bobby. I feel rested and better than yesterday.” She looked away as she answered, leaning against the car.

“Girl, don’t lie to me. I can see right through you,” he challenged.

“I don’t know what it is, Bobby. I just feel like there is something off. With Sam, I mean. But I can’t put my finger on it,” she confessed, feeling better now that she had shared her doubts with someone else. “But, I don’t know how to tell Dean. Or even if I should tell him. I don’t like keeping things from him, but this isn’t mine to tell.”

He took a deep breath before he began. “I know what you’re talking about. I feel it, and honestly, I think Dean feels it, too. We still don’t know what rescued him from the pit, but he has been off since he showed up. I called in every favor I got trying to figure it out.”

“Bobby, he is cold and unfeeling. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up when he looks at me, well, looks through me is more like it. Like he isn’t human. But you tested him, so we know he is, but it’s like something is missing…” she trailed off as her thoughts started running wild in her head. She turned and ran back to the house. “I will be right back, I swear,” she called over her shoulder.

“Can that really be it?” Anna was talking to herself now, reading the lore books she had found in Bobby’s collection. “Could it be that simple? Well, it’s not simple at all, really. It’s gonna be real fucking complicated,” she muttered.

“What’s gonna be complicated, Red?” She jumped when she heard Dean’s voice behind her.

“Um, I don’t know yet. But, I will let you know as soon as I figure it out,” she faltered, but quickly regained her composure as she turned to face her boyfriend, his green eyes locking with hers. “Hey, Babe? Do you think we can take off in the morning? I want to be home by tomorrow night. I talked to my doctor, and she can get us in the day after tomorrow, but it’s her only opening. She’ll be gone for two weeks if we can’t make it,” she informed him.

“Are you kidding? That quick? Yeah, we can leave now if you want,” he answered, even more excited than she was. Anna jumped up, throwing her arms around his neck, leaving a loud kiss on his lips.

“Great! I just have to talk to Bobby real quick, then we can pack up Baby and hit the road.” She ran out the door and back to the shop.

“Bobby! I think I got it!” She proclaimed as she rounded the corner into the shop but skidded to a halt when she spotted Sam perched on the cooler next to the Chevelle.

“Whoa! Where’s the fire, girl?” Sam quipped.

She eyed Bobby cautiously. He nodded and she continued, “I know what is wrong with you, Sam. I don’t know what pulled you out from Lucifer’s grasp, but I do know that it did a piss poor job.”

Sam stood, stalked over to her, and threw his arms out wide, in a menacing stance. “What the hell are you talking about?” He shouted. “There isn’t anything wrong with me! Have you seen me? I’m in the best shape of my life. I’m a better hunter than Dean now. I’m awesome!” he boasted.

“No, Sam, you’re not!” she protested, placing a hand up to stop him from advancing on her. “Something is wrong with you and I know what it is. Whatever, whomever, rescued you from the fiery clutches of Hell; they left a part of you behind. You lost your soul, Sam! Your fucking soul? Does that sound o-fucking-kay to you?!” she argued.

Sam stopped and stared down at her. “Huh, no wonder I don’t give a rat’s ass about anything. Not Dean; not you. Nothing. And, you know what? I fucking love it. I feel free. Don’t think you can go fixing me like you did my brother. I am not broken. But, he was and you made him weak; you gave him hope,” he growled.

“Weak? I rescued him when he was in danger of losing himself because of you, Sam! That doesn’t make him weak. Scars don’t mean a person is damaged, it means they survived. And, that is what your brother did. Without you! He survived because of me!” Anna stormed past Sam and over to Bobby.

She gave the old man a tight embrace and told him she and Dean were leaving, with a promise to figure out how to make Sam whole. She gave Sam one more glare, then went back to the house to pack her things so they could hit the road.

The drive home took just over 18 hours, stopping only for bathroom breaks and fuel. Annaleigh fell asleep a few times; thanking God that Dean loved driving. She was snuggled up with her head in his lap, drifting off again.  

“Hey, Beautiful. How are you feeling, Red? I got someone, well two someones, I want you to meet. Kids, say ‘Hi’ to your beautiful Mama.” Dean walked over to Annaleigh. She was in a hospital bed, wearing one of those terrible gowns. He gently handed her half the precious cargo he carried. She smiled, gazing at the bundle in her arms, and looked back up at him. He leaned over, placing a soft kiss to her lips. “I am so proud of you, Red. Look at what we did. We made these beautiful little people.” She knew she was crying, but they were happy tears. She took her eyes off the baby boy in her arms and looked up at Dean. He was crying too. He looked so incredibly happy. 

“Red, I would like you to meet our son, Robert Samuel Winchester. And, this sweet little thing is…”

Did you like it? The nicest thing you can do for a writer is reblog their work and tell them, and others, how much you like it!

Soul to Souls tags: @emoryhemsworth​​ @flamencodiva​​ @iwantthedean​​ @jensengirl83​​ @deanwanddamons​​ @smol-and-grumpy​​ @kbl1313​​ @waywardbeanie​​ @whatareyousearchingfordean​​ @princessmisery666​​​ @shy-violet-soul​​ @lastcallatrockysbar​​ @winchesterxfamilybusiness​​ @fangirlxwritesx67​​ @squirrelnotsam​​ @michellethetvaddict​​ @magssteenkamp​​ @wonder-cole​​

#dean x annaleigh #dean winchester x ofc #dean x ofc #dean winchester angst #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester smut

[writemywaytoyourheart]

Onsra-Chapter 33: Did You Miss Me?

banner created by: @envity ♥️

pairing: vampire!jungkook x female reader (also vamp!tae x ga-in oc & vamp!jimin x yuri oc)

genre: romance, drama, horror, angst

word count: 8k

warnings for this chapter: blood, guns, knife wound, death of insignificant characters, asshole vampire, panic attack, language, dead deer, u might want to kill me after this chap idk ;-;

Onsra: ML, Previous

I'm trying my best, pls bear with me y'all ;-; 'm sorry. But I really hope u like this one!

____________________________________

“I want to do it.”

Jungkook’s head whips sharply over to where the eldest is stepping into the middle of the open circle. The hush over the crowd of vampires makes Jungkook’s stomach clench.

What the hell is he doing?

This wasn’t a part of the plan.

Yoongi is staring at Seokjin in shock, his brain trying to come up with some way for their plans to work with this unexpected turn. The tall black-haired vampire’s face contorts in rage for a split second, then it snaps right back to a cocky expression as he looks Jin up and down. The vampire smirks and cracks his knuckles, taking a step into the circle and grabbing a handful of the human girl’s hair, making her wince when he pulls it.

Seokjin stiffens and the vampire chuckles.

“You think you could punish a stupid little human better than me?”

Jungkook sees the eldest cock his head from behind, but he doesn’t see the smirk dancing across Jin’s face when he speaks. “Yeah, I think I could.”

What the fuck are you doing, hyung?

The leader tuts and roughly shoves the girl back on the ground, “You must be new here, no one that stays here and knows who I am is stupid enough to talk shit to me, and think they can get out of it alive.”

Jin doesn’t seem fazed as he casually stares back at the vampire advancing slowly. That seems to set him off as he glares at Seokjin angrily.

“You want to fucking fight, asshole? Seems like you have a death wish.” He seethes and to everyone’s surprise, Jin just chuckles darkly.

“The fact that you’re a little taller than me gives you a slight advantage. So, sure. I think it gives you a fair enough chance to hold your own against me.” Jin muses absentmindedly.

Some shocked gasps sound from the crowd and a few chuckles float around at the sight of such a daring newcomer. Jungkook glances around the crowd and sees most of the faces are shocked, but a fair amount of them are just amused, wanting to see how this whole thing will play out. He curses under his breath and silently hopes that Seokjin knows what the hell he’s doing.

Another survey of the room shows him that a little more than half the vampires are male, and the rest are female, all of them starting to eagerly await Jin’s fate. The leader vampire stops a foot away from Seokjin, smoke practically coming out of his ears as he appears to try and stay calm.

“You asked for it. Vera, get this bitch out of the way, he can do whatever he wants to her if he comes out of this alive.” The girl vampire immediately drags the human girl to a corner of the room and shoves her to the floor. Jungkook hears Namjoon curse quietly, no doubt trying to come up with some way out of this.

Then Yoongi leans close to Jungkook’s ear and whispers so quietly that Jungkook almost misses what he says. “Once things start to look sour, we’re going to start a fight. You hit me and then we’ll go at it like a couple of schoolboys. Get everyone’s attention toward us and hopefully we can start some chaos. If everyone starts fighting, we can start picking them off and it’ll be hard to pinpoint who’s fighting who. Tell Namjoon.”

Jungkook nods subtly, then waits a few seconds before leaning into Namjoon’s ear to relay the message. He’s almost flooded with relief that Yoongi has come up with some kind of a plan to deal with this, even though they have yet to find out if it works.

At least it’s something.

Namjoon doesn’t acknowledge the maknae’s words, but Jungkook knows he heard them. Then they turn back to the scene unfolding before them. The circle has gotten a little bigger to accommodate the two with enough room to move around, and the looks on the vampires faces have all turned into bloodthirsty grins as some of them even chant for their leader to rip Jin’s throat out.

Jungkook hears the name Jeong repeated a lot, so he’s assuming that’s the leader’s name. Jeong is a few centimeters taller than Jin, but it doesn’t look like it’ll do him much good. If an outsider came in and made a bet on who they thought would win, Jungkook is sure they’d pick Jin; he might be a little shorter, but he’s still tall and he has more visible muscle than Jeong. The only thing that makes Jungkook nervous is the fact that Jeong is probably a vampire that wasn’t turned from a human, so even if he doesn’t look like he has more muscle than Jin, he’s going to be a lot stronger anyway. Jin doesn’t look nervous though, as he sizes his opponent from head to toe with a laidback manner.

The first swing is so sudden that no one was expecting it, except Jin that is, who ducks swiftly and sends a quick jab at his opponent, hitting him in the stomach and making him stumble a little. But Jeong has gained his balance after a split second and is angrier than ever when a titter of amusement floats through the crowded room.

“I’m going to fucking kill you.” He hisses at Jin, and Jungkook doesn’t doubt for a second that he means his words. Jungkook tries to look on the leader to see if he’s hiding something, like a weapon. Because there is no way he’s going to let Jin live, but he can’t kill him with anything but silver.

A couple minutes pass as the two throw a few more punches, the tension in the crowd growing. That’s when Jungkook sees the tiniest glint of something in Jeong’s pocket. The vampire starts to reach for it after getting a hit at Jin, and Jungkook realizes with a pit in his stomach what it is.

He has a knife.

And Jungkook is willing to bet that it’s made of pure silver.

So, he turns to his left suddenly and hits Yoongi square in the jaw, sending him a silent apology for no warning. He holds back as much as he can, but Yoongi still stumbles and falls right on his ass, the shock that slowly turns to anger on his face is something Jungkook doesn’t think he’s trying to fake.

Thankfully, a few vampires noticed it and jump back in surprise. Yoongi gets to his feet and lunges at Jungkook. He’s a lot shorter, but he is no weak vampire. Jungkook braces himself for the hit he knows is gonna hurt, only flinching a little at the bone breaking pain his older brother sends him in the form of a punch right in the nose.

Fucking ouch.

Then he’s inwardly praising Yoongi’s acting skills as he takes another swing at him, “You little shit! I’m going to fucking kill you!”

Ok, maybe he isn’t acting.

Jungkook dodges his older brother’s hits and notices with satisfaction that they’re drawing the attention their way. Namjoon picks up on what they’re doing and when it’s chaotic enough for him to get away with it, he turns and punches a random vampire in the face. “What the hell? You fuck!” He yells as if the other vampire had done it first.

That sets all hell loose as fists start flying all around the room, some just wanting to join in the fight and others in retaliation for getting beat for no reason whatsoever. Jungkook almost starts laughing at how easy it was to get the room of vampires riled up, but he holds back his laughter as he starts to realize maybe he hit his hyung a bit too hard when Yoongi lunges angrily at him again, getting another good punch in for revenge.

Sounds come from all over the building as other vampires run to find out what the ruckus is all about, Jin and Jeong’s fight completely forgotten by everyone but the two of them. Jeong was distracted enough with the initial disruption for Seokjin to catch him off guard and tackle him to the floor, where they now roll around and punch and kick each other fiercely, bloody mouths spitting angrily.

When Jungkook has a second to breathe, he looks up and does a double take when he sees Jimin through one of the windows, waving his hands frantically and screaming something that Jungkook can’t decipher. Then Jimin seems to see something behind him and ducks back into the darkness.

What the fuck is he doing?

Then, Hoseok bursts through the back door, panting as he scans the chaos that ensued while he was gone. He’s got blood on his chest and hands and Jungkook sighs with relief with the knowledge that Hoseok must have taken out the group that went hunting. Then he turns and barely misses getting clocked by a girl vampire that was swinging a wooden club at his head with a crazed look in her eyes.

He grabs the club before it hits him and kicks her in the stomach, sending her flying across the room. Jungkook flinches and moves to punch whoever grabs his arm, but when he turns and sees Hoseok, he checks himself and lets the older drag him away from the fighting.

Hoseok is shouting something, but Jungkook can’t hear him.

“What? I can’t hear you! What are you saying?” Jungkook screams back, trying to be louder than the absolute roaring in the building. Hoseok’s eyes are huge with fear as he grips Jungkook’s shoulders and yanks him closer, screaming into his ear.

“HUNTERS!”

That’s when the front door flies open and people dressed in all black, masks and baseball caps helping to hide their faces, stream through the door. They’ve got guns with silencers on them as they start shooting at random. Jungkook’s stomach plummets to his feet and he pushes Hoseok towards the back door just as Taehyung and Jimin barge in, their own guns up and shooting at the vampires, being sure to not hit one of their friends.

The Hunters aren’t so careful.

Jungkook sees Namjoon in a fight with a male vampire and yanks him away, pushing him towards the back door before plunging back into the fight and looking frantically for Yoongi and Seokjin. He finds Jin still tangled on the ground with Jeong, his nose and mouth bleeding freely. Jungkook spots a Hunter making his way through the crowd swiftly, heading right towards them.

“Hyung! Come on!” Jungkook screams and Jin looks up to see what’s going on, his eyes widening as he grabs Jeong’s hair and punches him in the face until his grip loosens. Then Jin is up, Jeong groaning on the ground but quickly starting to recover. Vampires drop like flies around them as Jin and Jungkook maneuver their way out of the fight. Jungkook sees Yoongi fighting another vampire and he goes to grab him when Jin pulls him back and shouts in his ear.

“I’m going to go get her!”

Jungkook watches Jin disappear into the crowd and growls in annoyance. They don’t have time for this! The Hunters will take care of her if she isn’t dead already. He trips over a body on his way to get his hyung, who seems to not have noticed the Hunter infiltration, he rights himself quickly and grabs Yoongi’s arm. Yoongi’s eyes widen when Jungkook gets his attention and he finally realizes what’s going on. Then, they squeeze through all the vampires and Hunters, trying to get to the eldest.

Jungkook sees Jin on the other side of the room, in a tousle with a Hunter that has a gun. Another vampire pops out of nowhere and grabs the Hunter, pinning him to the wall and moving to bite his neck. Jungkook sighs in relief, then his throat closes when he sees Jeong stumbling across the room as Jin hesitates. He can’t get through all these fucking people to get to him and his shouting is drowned out in the din of the fight.

“Hyung!”

Why in the fuck isn’t he running?

Then it clicks in Jungkook’s brain and he watches in disbelief as Seokjin leaps forward to rip the vampire off of the Hunter that was just trying to kill him a moment ago, freeing the man that stumbles away in shock.

The Hunter doesn’t seem to care that Jin just saved his life as he raises his gun to shoot him. But he’s too late.

Jungkook watches in horror as Jeong comes up behind Jin and reaches his arm around him to stab him in the side. Jin doubles over instantly, his hand moving to the knife as Jeong pulls it back out. The eldest falls on the ground, blood already seeping through his white shirt.

“Jin!!” Jungkook screams and fights his way towards them, finally getting through and grabbing Jeong by the shoulder, tugging him towards himself before sinking his teeth into the vampire’s neck. Then Jungkook grabs the knife out of the vampire’s hand and stabs him where his heart would be, watching the vampire crumple to the ground within seconds.

The small girl is suddenly by Jin’s side and pressing her hands to his wound as Taehyung rushes towards them. Jimin grabs Jungkook’s arm, shaking him out of his shock and screaming, “Get out of here, Kook! Go to the front!” But Jungkook shakes him off and strides towards the eldest, scooping him up and then turning to make his way out, hoping they don’t get shot before they can escape.

~                   ~                       ~

You stare open-mouthed at Jungkook in amazement as he finishes telling you what happened at the vampire hide-out. Then you look back at Jin and feel tears brimming in your eyes, watching him breathing heavily, his eyes shut tight.

“He’s hurt because he saved the man that was trying to kill him?” You whisper quietly and Jungkook nods. You sniffle and gently pat Jin on the head, relieved that you and the mysterious nurse girl were able to stitch him up and stabilize him a little while ago. You really thought you’d lost him when you saw all the blood. Your heart is still racing with fear as you feel Jungkook take your hand gently, bringing it to his lips to give it a small kiss. He pecks each of your knuckles before putting his head down and resting it on your closed hand.

“Thank you, y/n. For saving him.” He whispers and you hear his voice break. You lean up to plant a quick kiss on his hair. “We did what we could. He should wake up in a little while, and then we can give him something for the pain. We still don’t know why he turned human though…” You muse as you glance at the sleeping eldest once more.

Jin is like a big brother to you, and you can’t imagine what would have happened if he didn’t make it. You would all fall apart at the seams, you’re sure of it.

Jungkook lifts his head to look at his oldest brother, then he bites his lip and stands up. “I’ll be back in a little bit. You should have someone keep an eye on him while you get some rest, you haven’t slept all night.”

You nod and stand up to follow him out of the living room. Hoseok is just coming down the stairs, and he sends you a smile small. “You need to get some sleep, y/n. I’ll watch over hyung, alright?” He whispers kindly and you thank him quietly.

Jungkook slips out the front door, but you don’t ask him where he’s going. You know he would tell you if it was something you needed to be worried about. So, you head up to your room to find the girl from earlier curled up on the floor, a bunch of blankets under her to form a make-shift mattress and two more blankets on top of her as she looks over at you with wide eyes.

Ga-In is sitting on the floor next to her and a moment after you close the door, Yuri opens it and comes into the room, having been to the restroom. You walk over and sit down next to the girl, offering her a smile.

“Thank you for helping me earlier, I couldn’t have done it without you.” You say softly, noting the slight fear in the girl’s eyes that she tries to cover with a small smile.

“Of course. But I think you had a pretty good idea of what you were doing.”

That makes you laugh internally, feeling like you looked like a blubbering fish out of water as your head spun around in circles, trying to figure out how to save Jin. You look back at the girl and recognize the anxiety in her gaze, even as some of it is covered with relief.

“What’s your name?” You ask and she wipes her eyes tiredly. “My name is Sooyoung.” She whispers, making you smile.

You introduce yourself, finding out that her and the other girls had already gotten a bit acquainted while you were downstairs. Sooyoung tells you that she had been with that particular group of vampires for two weeks before the boys showed up. They had kept her alive because it amused them to make a game out of her fear. You feel like there is more to it and there’s something she’s leaving out with the way her eyes shift around, but you stay quiet.

Maybe she’s just nervous.

You don’t push it, just listen intently when she tells you that she was grabbed one night a couple weeks ago as she was walking home. You learn that she’s twenty-five years old, and as she had mentioned before, she is a nursing student. She was staying late with some classmates to study for their big exam that night and while she was walking home, she was knocked out and taken before she knew what happened. Sooyoung woke up in the back of a van full of vampires as they took her to that building the boys came to.

When she finishes her story, you four talk about random things to try and keep her mind off the vampires, hoping she knows she’s safe for now. More or less.                          

You know what it’s like to be taken and have no idea what’s going on, then to wake up in a place full of people you don’t know that will take amusement in your torment. You just hope she’ll be able to put it behind her and not come out of it too hurt.

You offer her your place in the bed, but she assures you that she actually asked to sleep on the floor, and she prefers it that way. She used to have a little mattress on the floor in her old apartment, and it reminds her of home.

A little while later, you lie in bed and stare at the ceiling even though you can’t make out anything in the dark. Today went better and worse than you had anticipated. Thank goodness no one was more seriously injured, but it was a close call for Jin…You turn on your side and put a hand to the side of your head as you try to think hard.

Why is Jin a human again?

It just doesn’t make sense.

There was no girl that kissed him…

You huff out a sigh and move to your other side, knowing you don’t need to worry about the two heavy sleepers on either side of you. You frown into the darkness.

Being kissed and turning human seems very farfetched, this isn’t a fairytale.

So, why did Taehyung and Jimin turn back after being kissed?

This is all too confusing and not something you think you’ll figure out anytime soon. You run your hands down your face and groan quietly. There’s also this Sooyoung girl, that you feel is hiding something.

She seems sweet and genuine, so you don’t feel like she’s keeping something that will hurt anyone but herself. Several times it looked like she was going to say something, then decided not to, biting her lips and darting her eyes away. If it wasn’t for her, you don’t think Jin would have made it. You sigh again and turn onto your back to resume staring at the ceiling.

This is all too confusing.

~                   ~                     ~

The next morning, the breakfast table is awfully quiet. Everyone is silently eating the pancakes that you made, which are good, but they don’t taste the same as Jin’s cooking. The bite in your mouth feels like paste as you try to swallow it.

Seokjin is asleep on the couch still, and the lack of dad jokes from him is really bringing the mood down.

Hoseok clears his throat and forces a smile onto his face, always the one to try and brighten the atmosphere. “Hey, cheer up everyone. I know things look bleak, but Jin hyung is alright! Thanks to everyone’s help, he’s pulled through. Now, we just need to make sure he doesn’t try to get up and mother everyone.” That causes a few giggles around the table and he continues. “It’s his turn to get a break and be babied…but nobody tell him that I said that, he’ll have my hide.”

Another round of laughter sounds and the mood lifts a little, everyone reminded that he’s okay, and the vampire camp was taken out. Jungkook comes in then and sends you a smile from the entrance where he’s hesitating. You wave him over and he comes in to sit next to you. He’s acting shy around everyone again, you notice.

Jungkook takes your hand gently under the table and you feel a blush dusting your cheeks, you don’t think you’ll ever get used to his sweet affection. After breakfast is done, everyone splits up the chores and go to do their work so that when Jin is awake, he’ll be waking to a clean house.

You and Jungkook take the kitchen. Jungkook insists on scrubbing the dishes while you dry them, saying that the washing part is harder, and you deserve a break. You giggle as he hums while cleaning the plates, soapy suds up to his elbows. His muscular arms look a bit out of place with Jin’s pink dish gloves on as they dunk into soapy water and clean thin glass plates decorated with flowers. You just keep trying to hold in your giggles and smile, so he doesn’t catch you staring.

Jungkook hands over the last plate and sees the smile you’re trying to bite back. He raises an eyebrow and leans his arms on the sink, flipping his long hair back by jerking his head and grinning at you as he takes a break. “You like what you see?” He asks teasingly and you feel your face burst into flames.

Your voice shakes a little as you dry the plate and try to look casual when you tease him back, “Maybe I do. You know, the helpful husband look looks great on you.”

Jungkook freezes at your words as he’s about to dunk his gloved hands into the sink to wash the forks. His lips twitch and you swear he would be blushing right now if he was a human, with the way his eyes dart around, trying to figure out what to say.

Your own cheeks heat up even more when you realize that what you said is also embarrassing to you. That wasn’t supposed to backfire like this.

Jungkook regains his composure and gives you a side glance that has your heart thumping in your chest. “Mm, really?” You see him smirk to himself as he rinses a handful of forks before turning and holding them out to you.

You reach out and wrap your fingers around the forks, then Jungkook pulls you towards him and you squeal when you almost smash into his chest. You stop a few inches from him and look up to see him grinning at you.

“Have you thought that about me before?”

You look away and will your blush to go down. “No.”

“You’re cute when you’re flustered.” He chuckles and you snatch the forks out of his hands, moving to a different part of the kitchen to escape his teasing. As you dry the forks furiously, you feel him watching you from the sink. Then he finally goes back to washing the cups.

Stupid.

Annoying.

Tease.

You wish you could find a way to get back at him without embarrassing yourself while you’re at it. He’s too good at this teasing thing and it’s getting on your nerves that you always end up being the one that gets flustered by the end.

You’ll think of a way to get him.

Jerk.

The both of you finish the dishes without you combusting into a flame of humiliation as you wipe the counters while he sweeps before you declare your job to be done.

Jungkook puts the broom away and lifts his hand up to you, which you clap with your own as he smiles. “Good work, partner.” He smiles sweetly.

Damn it, Jungkook.

~               ~               ~

“Ohh, no way!” You squeal and snatch the tattered blue book from the bookshelf that caught your eye as you were scanning your options. Jungkook chuckles and leans against the bookshelf as he watches you with a sparkle in his eye.

“Kookie, look! It’s the original Beauty and the Beast!” You exclaim and show him the title. He nods with a huge smile on his face.

He never knew watching someone look through old books and getting excited about what they find could be so endearing. But then again, you’ve proven him wrong about a lot of things. You always love when he reads you the book he found a while ago, so he proposed that you find a book to read him and you could take turns.

You trace over the delicate gold etching in the blue book, following the lines of the title with your finger.

La Belle et La Bête

“I want to read this one to you.” You say quietly and Jungkook wills himself not to scream from how cute you are.

“I’d like that.” He says calmly, opposite to the absolute storm of emotions swirling inside of him.

“I’m going to read some to myself first, though. I always read better when I’ve read it before.” You say shyly, keeping your eyes on the book. Jungkook tucks a stray strand of hair behind your ear, “Alright. We can start whenever you want to.”

“Ok.”

Oh gosh, he is really going to need you to stop being so cute if he’s going to live through this.

~                   ~                  ~

“Hey there, bookworm!”

You look up from the book you’ve been so engrossed in for the past two days since finding it, your back leaning against the trunk of the willow tree in the clearing. Tae is striding towards you with a smile, waving his hand in the air as greeting.

You wave back and smile. “Hey, Tae! What’s up?”

The pretty boy stops in front of you and nods towards the book in your lap, “Whatcha reading?”

“Beauty and the Beast.”

“Ah, very fitting.” Tae smirks and you roll your eyes, “Shuddup.” He laughs again and you shake your head in amusement before closing your book. “It seems like you were looking for me, did you need me?”

He takes a seat next to you on the grass and groans as he stretches his long legs out in front of him. “I’ve been meaning to talk to someone about this, but every time I bring it up, they get uncomfortable and upset.”

“Even Ga-In?”

“Especially Ga-In.” Tae sighs sadly, “She has a tender heart.”

“She does.” You agree quietly, then you set the book down and give him your full attention. “What can I help with?”

Tae bites his bottom lip for a moment before responding, thinking about how to word it. “I know you must be thinking this too. I’m just wondering how Seokjin hyung became human…that’s all…” He mumbles before glancing at you. You nod in agreement, “I’ve been wondering that too. It really scares me how he could’ve died from that knife wound, being human and all.”

Tae shakes his head and you look at him curiously as he speaks slowly, “Actually, I think him turning might have saved his life.”

“What do you mean?”

“He must have been turning before he was stabbed, or else the silver knife would’ve killed him as a vampire.” Tae muses, his brows furrowed as he thinks about it.

Oh…

Oh gosh, you never thought of that.

You lick your lips to wet them and clear your throat, “H-how does that work, anyway? The whole silver thing.”

Tae keeps his eyes straight forward as he answers you, “I don’t really know why silver kills vampires. All I know is it needs to be pure silver, and if you get them in the head or where their heart would be, it’ll kill them almost instantly. But if you hit them in the arm, or say, in the abdomen like Jin hyung, it’s almost like a poison that will spread and lead to death slower.”

You nod, your stomach turning at the thought of Seokjin almost being poisoned slowly by silver if he hadn’t turned human before being stabbed.

So that leads you back to the main question.

Why and how did he turn human before he was stabbed?

“I just don’t get it…” Tae grunts in frustration. “I don’t get why Jimin and I turned, and why Jungkook hasn’t. And now Jin hyung turned and there wasn’t a girl involved at all.”

You try not to snort in laughter at the way that sounded.

“I don’t get it either. How could a kiss turn a vampire human again?” You wonder aloud, not bringing up the fact that it didn’t work for Jungkook.

Tae squints as he racks his brain. Then he turns to look at you, “Unless, it wasn’t the kiss.”

“What else could it have been?” You ask, your brain turning to figure it out.

You’re both grabbing your heads and gently knocking them with your fists, almost like you’re trying to physically beat the answer into your minds. After another minute, Tae growls and stands up, his hair a mess from pulling at it. “This is driving me crazy, gosh.”

“Me too.” You sigh.

“I’m going to take a walk and hope it comes to me. Enjoy your story.” He sends you a grim smile before turning to leave.

That’s when it hits you.

Tae whips around at the exact moment that you gasp. His eyes are wide and you’re sure he’s thinking the same thing.

“The story!”

“The book!”

You both shout at the same time, and Tae rushes over to sit next to you again. “Oh my gosh!” He starts laughing maniacally, his eyes wide and shining. “It wasn’t the kiss!” He shouts and starts to laugh again as you finish his thought.

“It was when they said they loved you.” You speak quietly and he nods tearfully. “It’s because they love you guys…you.”

“I guess that’s what happened in your story too, right?” He says and you nod. “Yeah, Belle loves the Beast for who he is inside, not outside. But what about Jin?”

“It’s because he saved that man…the one that tried to kill him.” Tae whispers breathlessly.

You both look at each other in wonder at your realization. “You turned human again when it was proven that you didn’t lose yourselves!” You shout, then clamp your hand over your mouth, looking around before taking your hand away and whispering. “Ga-In and Yuri saw the goodness in you two, and it proved you weren’t monsters. So, you overcame the darkness and became yourselves again.” You have tears in your eyes as Tae wipes at his own.

“Seokjin hyung.” Tae wipes his eyes again. “He didn’t need someone to fall in love with him, he proved his humanity by saving someone who tried to harm him…he never lost his kindness.”

You start crying freely as everything clicks into place. You’re feeling such overwhelming emotions right now, you don’t know what to do. You’re beyond happy about your new findings, but now your hope for Jungkook is plummeting.

You know he has a good soul.

But why won’t it work?

You love him, you know you do.

So, it’s because of you. It has to be.

Your love must not be strong enough to combat the darkness.

You failed him.

Tae watches your smiling face slowly start to crumple, another tear slipping out that he can tell isn’t from joy. He knows exactly what you’re thinking as he reaches out to touch your shoulders. “Hey, y/n. It isn’t like that, alright? You love him, and he loves you. There’s no denying that. I don’t know why it didn’t work, but it isn’t your fault. We’ll figure this out, ok?”

You nod and wipe your eyes, pushing the feelings of hopelessness, anger, and pain down and corking it inside. “We’re not going to lose him, y/n. Don’t despair, not now and not ever.”

You give him a sad smile, encouraged by his words of comfort. Then Tae frowns, “I don’t think we should tell the others.” You look at him in surprise.

“Why not?”

He messes with his fingers and looks away from you. “I love the boys, of course I do. But I also know them, and I know how badly they want to be human again. I’m afraid if we tell them, it’ll make them feel as though they aren’t good enough and they are beyond hope.”

You nod slowly in understanding as he continues, “They might also try to do something that will turn them human, and we can’t say if that will work, or if it has to happen without your knowledge of it. And again, if they do something and don’t turn back, they’ll lose hope. That’s the only thing they have left…they can’t lose hope.” Tae whispers so quietly that you’re leaning in to hear him.

You pull back when he’s finished and nod your head, “Ok, let’s keep it between us for now.”

You aren’t happy about the decision, but you know he’s right. You already saw Jungkook having a panic attack and not drinking blood because he was afraid it was his fault after he somehow found out that Jimin and Tae turned because of Ga-In and Yuri.

This is best for now.

After another minute of silence, Tae takes your hand and helps you to stand. “Well, let’s get back and see how Jin hyung is holding up. When I left, he was scolding Namjoon for dusting the mantel the wrong way.” He rolls his eyes playfully and you laugh as you grab your book and follow Tae back to the house.

You never saw him.

You never heard him.

Jungkook stands with his back pressing against the willow tree where he hid himself after hearing an odd conversation between you and Tae.

He was coming to sit with you…he thought maybe you could start to read to him today.

Now he’s trying his best to breathe evenly, and not panic.

Don’t panic.

Don’t panic.

Jungkook feels tears prick in his eyes and he covers his face with his hands, sighing shakily. “Fuck.” He mumbles into his hands. He knew he was too far gone. There isn’t any human left in him. He’s going to turn. He can feel it already, and he’s panicking.

Jin hyung never lost who he was.

Tae hyung never lost who he was.

Jimin hyung never lost who he was.

The rest of them still act like themselves and they will all turn back. They’ll all turn back and leave him all alone.

Fuck.

Oh fuck.

Jungkook brings his hands down, his eyes glazing over and slowly turning a deeper shade of red as the anger and panic swarm his mind. Then he pushes off the tree and moves deeper into the forest.

~                   ~               ~

“Jungkook~” You knock on his door three times, then you wait. You have your book in hand, ready to start reading to him today. When he doesn’t answer, you frown and knock again; three soft raps.

“Kook, open up! Don’t you want to read?” Your frown deepens at the silence that follows, then you crack the door open and peek your head in. “Kookie?”

The room is empty. His plain grey bed a little messed up, but everything else is in its place.

Oh, maybe he’s out getting some blood?

He usually hangs out with you during the day, so that’s the only explanation you can come up with for him being gone. You sigh and close the door, then you make your way back downstairs to hang out with Seokjin and wait for Jungkook to get back.

“Hey, Jinnie!” You call happily when you see him sitting up on the couch, propped up with pillows as he sips on some broth. A huge smile breaks out on his face as you situate yourself on the chair next to the couch. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I’ve just come back from the dead.” He grins and sends you a wink, making you laugh. “What are you reading?” He glances at the blue book in your hands and you hold it up to show him. “Beauty and the Beast! I was going to read it to Kook today, but he must be out getting some blood.” Jin nods in understanding. “Well, that’s a good choice. I’m sure he’ll love it when he gets back.”

You and Jin keep talking, a few people coming in every once in a while, like Namjoon making sure Jin has taken his pain medicine, and Sooyoung shyly refilling his bowl of broth. Before you know it, the sky is starting to darken. You look out the living room window and frown, not having seen or heard Jungkook come back yet.

“You can go and see if he’s outside.” Jin says kindly, noticing the look on your face. “Don’t feel like you have to sit and talk with an old man like me.”

You look back at Jin to glare at him. “Don’t talk like that. You’re one of my closest friends, and you’re not old.” You grumble, crossing your arms. Seokjin’s eyes light up and he smiles brightly, “Tell that to the little shits next time they tease me. Thanks y/n, for everything.” He says quietly, “But seriously, go and see if he’s outside. He might not be feeling well, and I’m more worried about him than myself.”

You nod reluctantly, but only leave when Namjoon comes in to hang out with Jin. You make your way out the front door, glancing at the sky again and hurrying down the porch steps to find Jungkook before the sun sets. You decide to head to the clearing, hoping he might be there.

~               ~                ~

“Maybe you misunderstood, yeah maybe you heard them wrong.” Jungkook wrings his hands, smearing the blood on them and coating them even more as he tries to calm himself down. He takes another shaky breath and refrains from touching his face as he looks back down at his bloodied hands and tries not to let the tears fall. Jungkook swallows thickly, “Ok, just calm down. Calm down and go back to y/n, she can help you. She can fix this.”

“You turned human again when it was proven that you didn’t lose yourselves!”

Your words ring in his ears and he feels his chest tighten with anxiety. He’s been trying to convince himself this whole time that he’s okay, and that you love him. Now, he knows he’s too far gone. There’s nothing he can do to stop himself from turning. And it’s all his fault.

A choked sob leaves his throat and he wipes his nose with the back of his hand where there isn’t any blood.

Fuck.

They’re going to leave him alone…all of the boys are going to turn human without him and you’re going to see that he really is a monster, that he is too far gone and then you’ll leave him too.

He’s going to be alone forever and he’s going to be trapped in this body that he wants nothing to do with anymore, forced to drink blood forever.

Jungkook sobs again, grabbing at his hair. He doesn’t want this, he doesn’t want any of this. Why did this have to happen to him? What did he do to deserve this??

His legs start to shake and he pulls at his hair roughly, trying to focus and not break down. But he can’t do it. He can’t calm down. A pained and angered scream leaves Jungkook’s throat and he goes into the forest again before his right mind can convince him to think rationally.

A few minutes later, Jungkook is standing over a dead deer, no memory of killing it in his mind. He’s covered in blood down his entire front, his shirt soaked with it, a deep red that makes him sick to look at. Jungkook wipes his hands down his shirt, trying to wipe it clean, but he only succeeds in making it worse.  

He stumbles out of a clump of trees into the clearing that he must’ve somehow found his way back to. Then, his legs give out underneath him and he’s on the ground, curling his legs inward and holding them tightly to his chest.

“C-c-calm down…calm down. You didn’t do it, you didn’t hurt the deer. That was not you, you just need to go home and see y/n and go to sleep. Y/n will make it better.” Jungkook whispers to himself, his voice hoarse and panicky as he tries to convince himself that he didn’t just brutally kill a deer and drink its blood.

Tears well up in his eyes as memories of him drinking the Hunter’s blood and shoving you to the ground in the psych hospital flash through his mind. The way the sun hurts his skin when he stands in it and the fear in your eyes when you looked at him after you had been lost in the woods all night. The hurtful things he’s said to you, and the fact that even you loving him can’t save him.

He is too far gone. He always was.

You’re right, you are fucked.

Jungkook flinches violently and covers his ears with his bloody hands, “Oh fuck. You’re not here, you’re not here, you’re not here.” He looks around frantically as if someone is about to come out of nowhere and pounce him.  

Did you miss me?

The voice chuckles wickedly and Jungkook feels his throat constrict and his chest tighten with horror.

You didn’t think you’d actually gotten rid of me, did you?

~               ~              ~

You just step into the clearing when you hear a scream come from somewhere over by the willow tree. Your heart leaps to your throat as your feet take off toward the sound, praying that he isn’t hurt. You know who it is.

Jungkook is crouched on the ground, folded almost into a little ball as he plugs his ears and screams at the top of his lungs.

“GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY!”

You run over to him and gasp, your hands flying to your mouth when you see him covered in blood. His shirt is drenched in it, it’s up his arms and on his face too. Your fear only lasts a split second, then you’re rushing to him and kneeling next to him on the ground, pulling at his arms to try and get him to look at you.

“Jungkook! Jungkook, look at me, I’m here! I’m here, Kookie!” Tears stream down your face, unnoticed by you as you tug on him firmly. His eyes fly open and he looks over at you, then he pushes you away from him and moves himself back until his back is pressed against a big rock.  

“D-d-don’t touch me.” He cries and wipes at his arms and face. “P-please don’t look at me, y/n. Don’t see me like this.” He breaks down in tears again and chokes on his sobs. “I can’t do this! I never wanted this! I don’t want to be a monster!” He’s screaming so loud you’re sure someone miles from here could hear him.

Your heart breaks into pieces at his words and how vulnerable he looks pressed against the rock and desperately scrubbing at his messy arms and face. You crawl forward and grab his wrist, pulling it to you and wiping his hand with your clean shirt before he has time to protest. Jungkook watches you, his chest heaving as you make quick work of taking his other hand and wiping it clean as well. You get up on your knees and shuffle closer to lift your shirt and get his face cleaned off gently. Jungkook’s whole body is shaking as he watches you with wide red eyes. Fear, confusion, and relief swim in his gaze when you look at him.

“I- I didn’t do it.” You hear him whisper, almost as if he’s talking to himself. You pet his hair gently and stroke his cheek, “You’re okay, Kookie. I’m here now, and you don’t have to be scared.”

Jungkook blinks a few times, his eyes trying to focus on you again. “Y/n?” He asks quietly and you nod, “I’m here.” When you put your hand on his cheek, he leans into it a little, then something flashes in his eyes and he pulls away.

“I’m fine.”

“Ok.”

You don’t want to push him, not when he’s just had another panic attack. Jungkook looks down at your shirt and mutters, “Your shirt is ruined.”

“It was getting old and ratty anyway, this gives me an excuse to call dibs on the ones we found in the attack yesterday.” You reassure him, waiting for him to give you a small smile like he usually does, even when he’s upset.

But it never comes.

Jungkook takes your hands and moves you gently away from him enough for him to have room to stand. You look at him sadly, but he doesn’t make eye contact with you. Jungkook stands and starts walking to the house, silent as a grave.

You follow him quietly, watching him from behind and hoping he just needs some sleep. When you two make it to the house, he goes upstairs to his room, shutting the door before you get a chance to say anything.

The next morning, Jungkook doesn’t come to the kitchen archway.

He doesn’t smile shyly at you and sit next to you.

He doesn’t hold your hand under the table or help you feed Koko, giggling at the way the little fish gobbles down his food.

He doesn’t offer to read to you or pick flowers with you.

Jungkook doesn’t even talk to you.

You’re sitting on the front porch, your chin in your hands as you look out at the afternoon sun lighting the forest with its warm glow. A small sigh leaves your lips as you stare at a patch of blue flowers and will yourself not to cry.

You don’t move when the front door opens, but when you see it’s Jungkook walking down the front steps with his hoodie up, you straighten and call out to him.

“Kookie! Can we please talk?”

Your hearts sinks to your feet when he completely blows you off, making his way into the shade of the trees without sparing you so much as a glance.

A single tear slips out and you take a shaky breath.

This is what you’ve been so afraid of.

You thought maybe you were just paranoid, overthinking things like you always do.

But as you watch his back disappear into the woods, you know it’s true.

You’re losing him.

____________________________________

a/n: sorry :'(

Tag list: @jjungkook99 @ditttiii @xxxanimangxxx @rubinora @nikikookie @howbizarre @mygukandonly @hopeworld-baseline @adelina1299 @krystle1990 @karissassirak @lettersforjoon @squidyelmosquidbutt @jeonjungkookismyfuture @fekitza @your-best-behaviour @elliegrace1999tvd

#jeon jungkook #bts imagines #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #bts fluff #bts smut #jungkook angst #bts reactions #bts #bts x y/n #bts x reader #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x reader #kim taehyung #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #bts angst #vampire jungkook #onsra

[wherevermyway]

step out! do what you want (chapter six)

pairings: reader/bang chan, reader/han jisung side pairings: 
established changbin/minho, reader/bang chan/han jisung rating: explicit | 18+ warnings: someone dies this chapter so fucking big ass warning here! angst, violence, graphic descriptions of violence, minor drug use, use of firearms, description of graphic injuries, profanity, drug dealer!au, organized crime!au. word count: about 3,750 also can be found on my AO3 here! chapter/series navigation

chapter six: counting all the minutes and the days have been counting me

recommended tracks: another life by motionless in white, palette by iu and g-dragon, chanel by frank ocean, boy with luv (disco-funk mashup) by bts/seokjinnie, I’m upset by drake, love song by lana del rey, levanter (english version) by stray kids, voodoo people (pendulum remix) by the prodigy, straight to video (kmfdm remix) by mindless self indulgence, break me shake me by savage garden, ride it by regard; rush over me by seven lions/illenium/said the sky. playlist can be found here!

note: I am so sorry for this chapter. damn you, toastie. this is also a lot shorter than most chapters, so apologies in advance. took a lot out of me this time lol.

disclaimer: any reference to persons in this work of fiction are purely coincidental. the characters referenced from Stray Kids are interpretations loosely based on their personalities in the group and do not represent the real people behind the personas. if this, or any of the content included in the warnings above make you uncomfortable, please stop reading now.

side note: for the love of minho’s cats, don’t mix party drugs or drugs with alcohol.

“We need to go,” Changbin presses, pushing himself off of the doorframe and fiddling with his phone. “I’ve got the arsenal in the car, so you just need to get your body armour on and we can go.”

“I don’t want her coming with,” Christopher says, ruffling a hand through his hair, “it’s going to be too dangerous.”

“We don’t have a fucking choice,” Changbin grumbles, focusing on something on his phone. “Besides, I need her with so we can coax Minji out. Get her distracted enough to give us the upper hand.”

Christopher grumbles, ready to argue with Changbin, but decides against it at the last minute. He turns, kneeling down next to the bed. He pulls a hefty chest out from under the bed, unlocking it and throwing it open. He digs around a bit, tossing up a vest to you. “I think this will fit you,” he says without looking up, continuing to dig through the chest. “Jisung, take this,” he says, tossing another vest at the lean man.

“Let’s go,” he says as you slip the vest on. “We’ll make this work, alright? I’ll keep you covered as best as I can.” Christopher steps to your left, placing a hand on the small of your back.

“I’ve got you, too,” Jisung says, popping up on your right from behind you. He puts his hand over Christopher’s and smiles at you.

The walk down to the car is quiet, the dry air filled with tension. Minho is leaning up against the car, picking at something under his fingernails. Seungmin is in the driver’s seat, fumbling around with something on his phone. You all pack yourselves into the car, squeezing yourself in between Jisung and Christopher at the very back of the van.

Changbin sits in the seat in front of you, rifling through a duffel bag on the floor. “Alright,” he says, checking the mechanisms on a semi-automatic he pulls out, “here’s how this is going to go. Minji and Hyunjin are caught up in one of the Triad’s properties in Songpa-gu. If we’re lucky, there will be minimal men there and we’ll get in and get out.”

“This mostly goes for you, Jisung,” Changbin says, trying not to roll his eyes as he looks at the silver-haired man, “but don’t kill Hyunjin. I need him alive to get information on the Triads. Minji, I don’t care about. I’ve all but confirmed that she is just a pawn in their game. Nothing more than a drug trafficker.”

Jisung scoffs, grabbing the duffel bag off the floor. “Yeah, whatever,” he says, grabbing a pistol out of the bag and handing it to Christopher, “Give me some credit, man, I’m not that trigger-happy.”

Felix laughs, possibly for the first time since you met him. “There was that one time in Busan,” he starts, but Jisung cuts him off.

“It was one time!” He shouts, throwing a stray cloth at the man in front of him. “You’re lucky I didn’t shoot you! I totally should have shot you. Asshole.”

“Aish,” Changbin rolls his eyes, passing a pistol up to Minho in the seat ahead of him. “I don’t want you to have to fight, baby, but I’d feel better if you had this on you.”

“Aw, come on,” Minho winks at Changbin. “Remember that one time we were in Daegu and I had to cover your ass because your pistol got jammed? I very distinctly remember you thanking me over and over again in the back of that sports car and a couple times in the hotel.”

Changbin grits his teeth in embarrassment, blushing as he looks down. “Whatever, just take the fucking pistol.” Minho laughs at the man as he turns around.

The drive couldn’t have taken more than an hour; it felt like Seungmin had a habit for speeding. The city skyline zoomed past you, and you started to recognize the neighbourhoods of Seoul as you drove past. You got to an industrial area of Songpa-gu, somewhere you weren’t familiar with, when you stop.

Seungmin turns the car off, turning to look at Changbin, then the other men in the car. “They’re here. Are you ready?” Changbin takes in a shallow inhale, turning to Christopher. Christopher nods in response, pulling the semi-automatic rifle in his hands closer to his chest.

Felix and Jeongin lead the group of you up to large bay door of an abandoned warehouse. The vest around your chest started to feel as if it was smothering you. You could have sworn you had seen this place in some bad drama; it seemed stereotypical and expected. Group gets ambushed at the warehouse, someone gets shot, end scene. Roll credits.

The pit in your stomach grew as you realized Minji wasn’t going to make it out of here alive. The woman you knew and had gotten close to over the past year was a facade. This Minji was a lie, and she used you to get some sort of personal gain. Felix, Jeongin, and Changbin walk in front of the bay doors, their fingers on the triggers of their rifles, ready to aim if someone got in their way.

The air is tense, and a moment of silence passes before Changbin waves the rest of you over. “I’ve got your friend here, Moon,” he says as you walk towards him, looking at Minji. She and Hyunjin are standing in the middle of the floor, in front of a table with suitcases lined around it, surprised to see all of you. It looked as if they were packing the suitcases with packets of drugs.

“I know you’re alone here,” Changbin continues, “so don’t try to act tough. The Triads can’t be too far away, but they were dumb enough to leave you alone. Tells me you’re not worth their time.”

“Moon Minji,” Changbin says, quickly correcting himself, “or should I address you as Tian Xiaoli, the name you're more comfortable with?”

Minji grits her teeth as she pulls the pistol off of her hip, aiming it haphazardly at Changbin. He manages to stay in one position, completely unfazed by her threat. “Joined the Triads four years ago,” he continues, “they’ve used you as a decoy to push drugs in and out of Seoul since nobody ever expects a good, rich Korean girl to traffic drugs. Maybe I should say Korean-presenting? Fake passport, fake birth certificates. Several drivers licenses in different countries. You’re a busy woman.”

The pistol in Minji’s hand quivers, “What do you know about me? I didn’t just need the money, if you grew up in the same house I did, you’d have done anything to get out. All that pressure to succeed and getting nowhere?”

“Honestly,” Changbin chuckles, waving his hands in the air, “if I had gotten to you sooner, I’m sure we could have worked something out. Probably gotten you a better deal. Way better than whatever Hwang could get you.”

Hyunjin places his hand up against Minji’s back, positioning his free hand above the pistol on his hip. “You’re too drunk with power,” he sighs, “there’s no way for me to move up. You think you’re so good because you know everything, but you ain’t shit. You know the Triads are taking over Seoul, and it’s killing your business.”

Changbin scoffs, folding his arms. “You never put in the fucking effort.”

“What do you know?” Hyunjin growls, his eyes turning dark with anger. “You were practically handed this position, and we all know you didn’t deserve it.”

“Whatever,” Changbin says with a scoff, rolling his eyes at his junior. “You know you would never make it anywhere close to the top, and you can’t handle it. You never would have gotten as far as you did if it wasn’t for me and Christopher pulling you along the way. You’re barely useful enough to sell guns out of our group.” Hyunjin scowls, taking his pistol and aiming it directly at you. You’re frozen in place, your legs refusing to move. It feels almost as if you’ve sprouted roots from your feet, attaching you into the ground.  “You know I’m a good shot, though.”

The threat causes a panic to light up inside you. You want to move, but the roots taking hold of your feet don’t allow it to happen. Changbin takes a hasty step in front of you, his hands bringing his rifle in front of him, and Christopher moves to shove you out of the way.

Hyunjin hesitates for a second, but the ripping of gunshots fills your ears. You feel a searing pain in your left leg as the root keeping you in the ground dissolves. In a split second, you’re looking up at the ceiling, the scaffolding reaching up to the sky like tree branches. There’s something about the scenery that reminds you of being a child, laying on the ground at the playground absorbing the sunshine. It feels like there’s a ray of sunshine boring into your leg, searing you in two.

“Changbin!” You hear someone screaming, pulling you out of your daydream and back to reality.

“You good-for-nothing backstabber,” you hear Changbin spit out. You gently lift your head up, taking in the moment. There’s blood everywhere, spilling from your leg, and also coming from Changbin’s back in front of you. You’re convinced that you can see through him.

Changbin aims his semi-automatic towards Minji and Hyunjin, carefully aiming the gun as best as he can at them. He’s able to sink a couple shots in Minji, then he turns his attention to Hyunjin when she hits the ground with a thud. “I can’t believe you,” he groans, directing his rage at Hyunjin, “you fucking coward.” He unloads a couple more shots into Hyunjin’s leg, then groans as he hits the floor.

“Changbin!” The voice screams again, louder this time. Minho shouts at the top of his lungs, rushing to Changbin as he falls. Christopher reaches out to grab him, but the smaller man just slips out of his grip. He mutters something under his breath, swapping out the magazine of his pistol.

Jisung comes bolting around the corner, aiming directly at Minji with his semi-automatic. You see him take in a quick breath before he unloads the magazine in his rifle directly into her. She reaches her pistol up towards you, but it falls from her hand as she completely collapses into the ground.

Hyunjin falls against the wall, staring down at the literal bloodbath at his feet. “Holy shit,” he breathes out shakily, his hands trembling as he grips his hair, “Changbin, Minho, Chan, I…”

“Shut the fuck up, you traitor,” Jisung spits out, pulling the pistol holstered at his hip. He cocks it, aiming it at Hyunjin’s head. “I should unload this into your fucking skull, but you’re of more use alive to me than dead. So, you’d best pray to God that I’ll show you mercy as long as I need to keep you around.”

Changbin grips Minho’s collar, pulling him close. “Baby,” he groans out, “I’m sorry I never got to finish that song for you.”

“Binnie, baby,” Minho cries out, grabbing Changbin’s face, “don’t apologize. You’ll finish the song. You’ll finish an entire album for me.”

Changbin weakly smiles, dragging his fingertips across Minho’s face. “If I had the chance to do this all again,” he says, coughing up thick, viscous blood, “I would have asked you to marry me the minute you got out of the hospital. You were always my person. Fuck,” he says, with a deep, heavy cough, “you were always my person, Minho. I’m so glad I got to know you, that I got to love you. So glad I got to be your person.”

Minho’s face contorts into a strange shape, reflecting an expression you can’t quite comprehend. “Baby,” he whines, “you will still have the chance. I will marry you a thousand times over as long as you’re here, I promise, Binnie. I love you so much. Just stay with me.”

But the pleading he tries has no effect. Changbin slips from Minho’s grasp, his body going limp. The two of them sit there, Minho gripping Changbin as tightly as he can. Minho pulls Changbin to his chest, keeping him there for as long as humanly possible.

When he realizes that Changbin can’t, and won’t, respond, Minho screams. He screams from the bottom of his soul, for as long as he can possibly manage. Hearing him scream in such a raw, primal way makes your stomach turn.

Christopher is the first to move, working his way towards Changbin and Minho. “Min,” he whispers, “let me help you get-”

However, Minho has none of it. He looks up at Christopher, his eyes burning red, “No, I won’t let you,” he whimpers. “I am not leaving Changbin; I’m not going to let him go.”

Christopher runs his hands through his hair, tears threatening to spill from the corners of his eyes. Felix and Seungmin make their way to Hyunjin, picking him up and carrying him out of the room. Jeongin slowly paces his way to where Minji lies, kicking her shoulder with the tip of his boot.

“Unbelievable,” he mutters under his breath, “I can’t believe any of this.” Jeongin turns, slowly pacing his way to you. He kneels down and offers you a hand. “Are you okay?”

You don’t really know how to answer him, so you simply shake your head. “Changbin,” falls from your lips, as you look at the way Minho grips Changbin in his arms. Jeongin shakes his head twice, reaching his hand up to wipe a tear off of your face.

“It’s what we do,” he says at a near-whisper. “We protect civilians, and if one of us is out of line, we take care of it. Any one of us would have taken a bullet for you, it just happened to be Changbin this time.”

“But, I didn’t-“ you try to say, but he cuts you off, putting his finger over your lips.

“I know.” Jeongin nods. “But this is how it happened. Nothing we can do now.”

You’re not really sure how much time slips forward as you sit in the quiet, cold warehouse. Felix tied a tourniquet to your leg at some point, mentioning that it probably wasn’t going to be too serious, but he would take a look at it when you all got back to the safehouse. At some point, Seungmin and Jisung take Changbin from Minho, where he completely collapses.

Minho’s face is void of expression; you stare at him as he gazes beyond you, far off in the distance. There’s a large amount of drying blood covering him from his shoulders down to his ankles. Felix says something to him, saying he needed to check Minho for any additional wounds, but the older man doesn’t respond.

“Minho,” Christopher says, leaning down to him, grabbing his shoulder and trying to get him upright. “We can’t stay here forever. The longer we’re out here, the more likely we’ll run into the Triads.” The brunette ignores Christopher’s request, continuing to stare off somewhere far behind you.

“February sixteenth,” he manages to whisper out, his voice cracking as he says it.

“What?” Christopher lets go of Minho’s arm, cocking his head to the side.

“He said ‘I love you’ on February sixteenth last year.” Minho whispers, closing his eyes, “it was the first time he told me that he loved me. We were in Shibuya. He just finished signing Jeongin, and he had finished recording a demo album and he was so excited. Everything was finally going well.”

Minho slowly sits up, keeping his eyes closed. “He wanted to go to Canada or Australia this winter, get married. Actually, legally married. He even jokingly said something about a romantic wedding somewhere in Europe. Of course,” he sighed, letting his head fall into his hands, “that wouldn’t have meant shit here. He wanted to get away from all of this, go move somewhere far away from this shit and start a family somewhere. Never see any of this again. We were so close. Almost there.”

Minho sits on the ground for another few minutes, silently letting himself cry into his hands. Christopher gets down on his knees, pulling the younger man to his chest, letting him completely fall apart. “I’ve got you, Min,” Christopher whispers, stroking Minho’s hair. “It’s going to hurt for a while, I know. We’ve got you, though. You’re not going to go through this alone, you’ve got your brothers.”

It had to have been another hour before you all finally made your way back to Incheon. The drive was completely silent, absent the ambient noise from the highway. Felix spent plenty of time looking over both you and Minho for residual wounds, cleaning up minor lacerations and patching up other scrapes. Jisung gave Minho a couple of tablets of what you assumed was Xanax, which helped him sleep the entire way home.

Christopher and Jisung help carry Minho into the apartment, setting him down on the couch. Seungmin and Jeongin take the van back to another safehouse, presumably to keep Hyunjin in one place and to handle Changbin’s body. Felix pulls you aside to take a look at the bullet in your leg, able to clean the wound out with some careful attention, and he tells you that he’ll bring you in to their clinic tomorrow to take care of the bullet removal.

Felix unpacks a backpack he brought upstairs with him, hooking up an IV to Minho. “Don’t worry,” he says, noticing the concern on your face as you watch him. “He’s always had problems with anxiety, so I’m just going to keep him out overnight and try to get some fluids back into him.”

“Felix is our resident medic, in case you haven’t noticed,” Jisung says, gently squeezing your shoulder. “Whenever something like this happens, he’s always on top of the medical care. We’re pretty lucky to have him around.”

The bleach-blond man scoffs, measuring out a liquid from a vial, injecting it into a port in the IV. “Yeah, you are,” he laughs, “I remember trying to teach you some basic medical stuff and you almost killed Seungmin because you forgot to expel the air from the syringe.”

“Yeah,” Jisung rolls his eyes with a sigh, “there’s a reason I don’t do this shit. Anyway,” he grabs your waist, pulling you to the bedroom. “Why don’t we let Felix take care of Minho, and we can get some sleep?”

“That’s probably a good idea,” Christopher says, flatly, as he opens the door to the bedroom. You and Jisung follow him through the door. Christopher collapses on the floor as soon as he steps through the door. Jisung comes up behind him, his hands coming up to his sides. “Chan,” he says, bringing his hands up to Christopher’s face. “It’s okay, it’ll be okay.”

“No,” Christopher says, weakly, “It won’t be okay. Changbin is gone. My best friend is gone.” He looks like he wants to cry, but his face is completely void of emotions. He just lets himself melt into the floor, staring down the patterns in the wood. “Changbin is gone,” he whispers as he closes his eyes.

Jisung looks up at you, words escaping him.

“Christopher,” you say, but you’re not really sure what to tell him. You know there’s nothing that can help fill the hole he feels in heart. You bend down, reaching your hands out to him. “Come on, why don’t we get up on the bed and get some sleep? We can talk about this tomorrow.”

“Hell,” Jisung sighs, “at least let me grab you a pillow if you’re gonna try and sleep here. Alright?”

“No,” Christopher says, slowly working his way upright. “She’s right, I should sleep on the bed. You never know when someone you care about will be taken from you, so I might as well sleep with both of you.”

Jisung flings his arms around Christopher and looks up at you. “Yeah,” he says, nuzzling his head up against his superior’s. “Come on,” he pulls at Christopher”s shoulder, “nobody can see you cry on the bed, anyways.”

The three of you manage to make your way up to the top of the bed. Tonight, however, is different, compared to the way you’ve usually fallen asleep. You and Jisung take the edges of the bed, wrapping yourselves up around Christopher in a protective cocoon. You’re not sure what time it is when you fall asleep, just that the sun had started to come up when your eyes finally shut.

You also can swear you hear Christopher whisper something as you fall asleep, but you’re not sure if it’s just your mind playing tricks on you. It almost sounds like he’s saying your name and that he loves you.

#stray kids fic #skz fics #skz fic #bang chan x reader #changbin x minho #seo changbin x lee minho #god i am so sorry #han jisung x reader #bang chan x han jisung x reader #step out do what you want #wherevermyway #tw death #death tw

[petri808]

Fandom: Fairy Tail. Rating: Mature.  Nalu AU ANGST trigger warning.  Based on this post.  Just under 10k words

Lucy Heartfilia is diagnosed with a heart defect. Stuck in the hospital waiting on the transplant list, there is only one thing bringing any light to her dreary world; a volunteer named Natsu Dragneel who truly becomes her bittersweet savior.

@uzumaki2810 Here you go, I hope you like it :)  Also thank you to the angst queen @doginshoe IM SORRY I FORGOT TO ADD THIS MESSAGE ;-; she beta’d and bore the tears with me to make sure it was a good story :)

~~ ~~ ~~ ~~

It all started back in her last year of middle school when puberty really kicked into overdrive and she developed a well-endowed chest.  She assumed the little pricks of pain related to the added weight cause they sure gave her a backache if she pushed herself too hard.  Exercise was overly exhausting, so there went any chances of making the cheer squad in high school.  Not that Lucy was really interested in sports, but by the start of high school she realized any physical activity needed to be avoided.  But she didn’t want to worry her father since it was a random pain that would only surface if she exerted herself; ergo it was her boob’s fault, and she kept the pain to herself.

As time passed, and her high school years carried on, Lucy did her best to ignore the symptoms, even when something new manifested itself.  Fatigue…  she was studying too hard.  Rapid heartbeat… well, there was that cute boy that just walked by.  Shortness of breath when she laid down…  it’s just from the weight of her chest.  Each and every time, Lucy found a rational explanation.  She buried her nose in her studies as an outlet, which she really didn’t mind so much.  Her favorite thing to do in the world was to write quick fantasy stories she’d make up, and she’d often spend her breaks holed up in the library researching some new topic of dragons or fairies or whatever had caught her attention.

“Ugghhhh,” Lucy flinches as the blinding white light breaks through the surface of her vision.  She shields her eyes and slowly opens them but can only manage a tiny squint.  Her mind was groggy, and she swore her limbs felt like dead weights.  “W-Where am I?”        

She hears the muffled sound of her father’s voice calling for a doctor.  Why was there a slight ringing in her ear?  Something about she’s awake now, hurry?  The rest had been too muffled to understand.  Had she been asleep?  Lucy was completely confused. But the light… the light was so bright!

“Ms. Heartfilia?  Ms. Heartfilia, can you hear me?”

It was a strange male voice talking to her.  Where did her father go?

“Yes,” she croaks out, flinching as her body is coming out of its slumber and suddenly a sharp pain hits her again.  Lucy winces, this was worse than before.

“Ms. Heartfilia, do you know where you are?”

She shakes her head.  

“You’re in the hospital, dear.”

Wait!  It was her father’s voice again.  What did he mean she was in a hospital!  Lucy forces herself to open her eyes fully, though, keeping her hand between her face and the overhead lights.  “Why am I in a hospital?!”

Lucy hears the doctor's voice again, seemingly at a distance because her viewpoint was limited, speaking to someone.  Fainted.  Temporary amnesia.  Congenital heat disease.  Wait what?!  “Hey what’s going on?!” she calls out then is hit by another spike of pain.  Damn it!  “Dad?   Hello?!”  But it’s like she was being ignored.  Birth defect.  Advanced case.  Surgery.  “Someone please talk to me!”  Tears prick at the corners of her eyes.  “Talk to me!!!”  A third, and now the largest stab of pain hits her.  Lucy cries out at the pain and curls in on herself.  More shouting and the voice returns, hands probing something near her chest, and machines starting to blare out warning beeps.

“Please calm down Ms. Heartfilia, calm down, don’t push yourself too much or the pain will get worse.”

How could this get any worse…

That was 3 years ago, and the sands of time were running low.

Her father had done all he could, dragging her to specialist after specialist, exhausting a chunk of his fortune on doctors from one coast to the other, only to be told Lucy would need a heart transplant or she may not see her twenty-first birthday.  The most they could do for her while she waited on the transplant list was implant a ventricular assist device into her body.  It gave her a small measure of freedom instead of being tied to a normal transcutaneous machine, but it was still uncomfortable.  Her movements were restricted, she had to be careful of catching a cold, and what ended up being the hardest part, was the breast reduction surgery they had her undergo at the same time of the VAD surgery to reduce the weight and strain it added to her heart.

For so long she’d blamed her large breasts for causing all her pains, but now that she knew they weren’t, it was sad to see them go.  They were a part of her after all, no matter how much of a headache they could be.  For weeks after the surgery, Lucy could barely look at herself in the mirror.  She didn’t recognize herself anymore.  This youthful woman with tubes sticking out of her stomach which attached to a device around her waist that helped her weakened heart muscles do their job to keep her alive.  That had been the diagnosis, a congenital birth defect that weakened her heart muscles, and as she aged, the muscles would continue to deteriorate.  Oh, her father was so furious when they were told she didn’t qualify for an artificial heart because death wasn’t imminent.  

It hadn’t taken long after completing high school that the depression had surfaced.  All of her friends were moving on to college, most to distant campuses so she had no one to talk to.  Lucy would hide away in her bedroom for days at a time as the internal struggle mounted.  Why continue to go through this pain and struggle… why not just end it quickly and painlessly.  It was tempting.  From the research she’d done on heart defects, the end wasn’t very pretty.  Her only hope was a donor, but people die every day on the transplant list waiting for a heart that never came, just growing weaker and weaker….

At least the VAD had given her two decent years, but her days of being an outpatient at the hospital had come to an end.  Even with the device assisting her heart, Lucy’s body was struggling to deal with the strain.  The smallest exertions required fuel from her heart to power her body, so even something as minimal as the fatigue of reading a book for too long could trigger an arrythmia or worse, and the pain that may accompany it.  She needed to stay in the hospital so that her heart could be constantly monitored and if there was any sudden change, they could address it quickly.

The doctors were doing their best to keep her alive in the hopes a donor would surface.  But you never knew when one would become available, and her time was running short.  The original prediction of not making it to twenty-one was fast approaching.  Frankly, Lucy felt like it was by the luck of the draw and the odds were better at a Las Vegas casino.  It was a lonely experience being cooped up in the hospital and thankfully there was one glimmer of happiness amongst the sterile white halls.

“Lucy!”      

“Hi Natsu.”

He smirks, “I brought you something.”  The young man was bouncing on the balls of his feet with his hands clasped behind his back.  

All the volunteers that visited the hospital were kind people, but there was one that made Lucy smile the most.  A young man named Natsu Dragneel.  She’d told herself at the beginning of her medical odyssey that she wouldn’t let anyone get too close to her, not only for her protection but there’s.  The pain of losing someone you care about was an emotion Lucy had borne at the tender age of five when her mother lost her own battle to cancer, and it was a feeling she didn’t wish upon her worst enemy.  But this man sure made that promise a tough one to keep.    

Natsu’s adoptive mother was a long-time surgery nurse at this hospital, who had had taught him the value of life.  It was because of seeing her kindness towards people that spurred his decision to be a volunteer.  Even at eighteen years of age he knew that volunteering would be difficult, and five years later, he would admit it never got any easier.  Many volunteers eventually burn out, especially when dealing with the terminal patients, but Natsu pushed through, reminding himself it was those very patients that needed their support the most.

“Oh,” she quirks an eyebrow, “what is it?”

“Tada!” he whips out a single yellow rose with pinkish-red tipped petals and hands it to her.  “My younger sister showed me how to dye the tips, isn’t it cool!”

Lucy takes the flower, “wow that is really beautiful!  The pink even matches your hair.” She lifts it to her nose and picks up on the light rosy fragrance it exuded.  “Smells nice too.”  She tries to hand it back to Natsu.

“Tch, my hair’s not pink, it’s salmon, and I made it for you,” he smiles, “something to brighten your day.”  Natsu then walks over to the small bathroom and fills a cup with water, brings it back and places it on the small windowsill next to her bed.  “For the flower.”

“Thank you,” Lucy blushes a little and hands him back the bloom since she couldn’t reach the cup herself. “It was really kind of you to bring me that Natsu.”

“Nah,” he places the flower in the cup for her, “I’d do anything to make you smile.”

It wasn’t every day, but Natsu would come to see her as often as he could.  His regular job as a construction worker wasn’t a regular 9 to 5 kind of thing.  Some weeks he might work five days straight, while on slower periods like the winter and early spring months it may only be a couple of days a week depending on weather.  He’d told her that working with his hands was something he enjoyed immensely, and the company was training him to be a carpenter.  

Natsu sure wasn’t what she’d expected of a construction guy.  Oh, his hands showed the roughened appearance of someone who worked hard for a living, but she thought they would be these rough and tumble kind of men.  Not Natsu, with his goofy and sweet personality.  She could only imagine how well such a line of work helped to keep the man in shape.  He always wore t-shirts and jeans, but his trim features hidden behind the fabric were easily discernable.        

The light of the sun brought the yellow rose to life along with a slight tremor in her heart, not of pain but of adoration.  Lucy smiles sweetly at his remark, her eyes crinkling, glinting with a tinge of moisture she had no control over.  She didn’t want to admit her growing affection for this man who always said the sweetest things or made the most charming gestures.  Natsu was always so compassionate and supportive, while never making it seem like it was just his job as a volunteer to comfort the patients.  It was easy to wish that maybe… he was doing it just for her?  

Lucy ducks her head, hiding the hint of jealousy coating her cheeks and tone, “I’m sure you make such kind gestures for the other patients too.”

“Oh, no,” Natsu sits beside her and takes her hand, “just you.”  He gently lifts her chin, forcing her to face him.  She averts her eyes, but he stares forward, softening his glare, almost wanting to chuckle that he’s had such an effect on her.  “You’re special to me.”

Of all the patients in this small hospital, Lucy Heartfilia was the one his heart grieved for the most.  It wasn’t fair, at only twenty years old, for this beautiful and intelligent woman to be tied to a hospital bed, watching her life flash by in the form of ridges and valley peaks.  The first time they had met was two years ago, but back then she would only come in for overnight monitoring’s or check-ups, and after her major surgery, she stayed for a few months during the recovery process.  By now, they were friends, but it had taken work on his part to get her to open up to him.      

“No, I’m not…” Lucy sucks the corner of her bottom lip in to stifle the tremor.  

His tone deepens in a comeback, “Yes, you are.”

Her eyes finally snap to his, and when she sees the determination behind them, reality kicks in.  He was telling the truth!  Oh, heaven help her.  It was cute to dream, but not for it to be real.  She feels a sting in her chest and pushes his hands away.  “Please don’t,” her voice is barely a whisper, trembling from the stinging pain in her heart and her soul.  “I-I shouldn’t be….”  ‘This is so wrong…  Because I’m dying and he deserves someone better.  I shouldn’t have said anything.’  Stupid little daggers of jealousy!  She clutches her chest, willing her heart to still, and pain to subside, ‘please go away!’

“Hey, hey!” Natsu immediately switches his concern from being flirty to concerned.  “Lucy please calm down, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to upset you!”

“I-It’s okay, I-I’ll be okay.” She fights the tears back with all the strength she can muster.  Lucy didn’t want to cry in front of Natsu.  “Please, Natsu, I don’t want to get our hopes up l-like that…. If this… If things were different….”

“Shhh,” he cradles her face, “shhh, it’s okay Luce, I feel the same way.”

After a few moments, Lucy lets out a long exhale.  “I appreciate it, I really do.”  She looks up and cracks a pained smile.  “You’re the only thing keeping me going, but I-I just don’t even want to think about not being there for you…”

It was Natsu’s turn to crack.  “Please don’t finish that.”  He looks down, holding back the urge to cry or show how upset it makes him.  “I don’t want to think about that.”

“But it…”

“You don’t know that, no one knows that, and I,” his voice falters, seething with all the will of his soul placed behind it, “I will cling to hope till my dying breath.”

The sudden change in his demeanor, switches Lucy from feeling so self-absorbed in her own thoughts to realize, Natsu has had an effect on her, but she truly had an effect on him too.  It hurt even more now that his behaviors weren’t just a rouse to make her happy, and it killed her to think of what he will suffer when she goes.    

“I’m sorry, Natsu.  I didn’t realize.”  She grabs his hand, squeezing it hard.  “Natsu I’m sorry.  Let’s stop thinking about this then, hmm,” doing her best to keep her tone soft and comforting.  “Look at me, Natsu, please, I don’t want to keep fighting with you.”

He sighs, “you’re right.  That’s the last thing I wanna do with you.”  It was a surprise even to himself that he’d lost his cool, and for the first time the awareness of his growing infatuation became real.

“Good,” she squeezes his hand again.  “Hey, um, you know its lunch time, we could eat outside since it’s a nice day…” her voice grows tentative, “if you’ll join me.”

“Lucy Heartfilia, are you asking me out on a date?” He chuckles, ready to put all the sadness behind them.  “Because if that’s the case,” the sparkle in his eyes return, “I would be honored.”

For the next couple of months, Natsu and Lucy’s friendship flourishes, as her physical body slowly deteriorates.  It was hard, he couldn’t lie, to watch this happen, and if it wasn’t for the strength of his convictions or his plain stubborn attitude about it that kept him upbeat.  He knew that she needed him to be her strength, and that fueled his desire to make sure she smiles every day.  

Lucy didn’t know, but his mother would keep him updated on her condition.  Not that he needed to know all the technical jargon, for he could see it with his own eyes.  Lucy herself would tell him just enough information when she needed to, but he never pushed or pried for it, letting it always be on her terms.  The cardiomyopathy was getting worse, her heart muscles barely functioning on its own at this point.  She had her good days and bad days but walking around wasn’t really an option anymore aside from brief steps for a purpose.  It also meant that the muscles in her legs were weakening too.  Physical therapy once a week worked with Lucy on light stretches to keep them from completely atrophying, but it was all they could do for her at this point.  But no matter how much weight she lost, or that her hair didn’t hold its familiar luster, to Natsu she would always be the same radiant woman he adored.  

She’d resigned herself to this fate a lot better than Natsu would have thought a person could do.  When he tried to picture himself in her shoes, he was sure he wouldn’t have the strength to keep going, but that was what amazed him even more about her.  On her agreeable days, Natsu enjoyed getting her out of her room, even if for brief periods of time.  Lunch or dinner in the cafeteria, the grounds of the hospital on a sunny day, or even stargazing when the evening air was warm.  He’d bring a wheelchair, and off they’d go, talking about anything or nothing, avoiding the subject of her condition, just giving her a smidge of a normal existence for once.              

Lucy opens her eyes at the knock on her door to see a familiar face pop through.  “Hey Natsu,” she cracks a pained smile.  

“Hey Luce, how ya doin’ today?”

She starts to sit up in the hospital bed, but when it’s clear to Natsu the woman was struggling, he quickly rushes over and assists.  “Thanks,” another light smile.  “I’m sorry, I’ve been a little sore today.”

“Never apologize to me,” he smiles back warmly.  No matter what, he always did his best to appear upbeat for the patients despite his heart literally breaking for them.  He places his hand on hers, “so, tell me gorgeous, are ya hungry?  We could dinner date in the cafeteria if you’re up to it.  My treat,” he winks.

“Stop calling me gorgeous,” Lucy chides the sunny young man, despite the small rosy glow of her cheeks.  “I know I’m not, and that’s okay.”  With the help of a psychiatrist and over a year of therapy, Lucy had finally accepted her fate and kept moving forward as best she could.  If she will die someday, she will die with dignity.  Stress wasn’t very good on her heart, so once she made peace with her circumstances, even her physical ailments had benefitted.  

“Pfft,” Natsu pretends to be offended, “are you calling me a liar because I know I’m not blind.”  His grin growing along with the deepening of red along her cheeks.  “Besides, you know I won’t stop no matter how much you complain about it.”  

Lucy laughs and her eyes twinkle, “I know, so we’ll keep agreeing to disagree.”

It was in these moments, and why he did what he did, just to see this woman’s eyes light up, that sent his own heart into palpitations.  Deep down Natsu knew that the chances of Lucy making it out of this hospital were slim to none, but you’d never know it when he spoke to her.  He stifles the urge to sigh. Oh, how he wished the circumstances were different.  In a perfect world, Natsu would love nothing more than to walk this woman down the aisle.

He circles the topic back around, “so… dinner, on me?” he teases lightly with a wink.  “We can take a trip through pediatrics where there are a few recent arrivals.”

Her gaze lowers as she hides the seventh heaven emotions the young man stirs in her.  “I’d like that.”

Natsu squeezes her hand, “I’ll be right back, lemme grab your carriage milady.”

As Lucy waited the few minutes for Natsu to grab a wheelchair, she closes her eyes and does a breathing technique to calm her heart.  She hadn’t wanted to show the slight tinges of pain she was getting as they spoke, because she knew it would have worried him.  They’d been steadily increasing in frequency lately, and she fought to keep him from discovering that.  But she couldn’t help it.  Despite her condition, Lucy was still a young woman with an intact mind, she still had desires like any other, and when a handsome young man close to her age flirted with her, of course she would react to it!  She did her best not to let these thoughts sink in too deeply and told herself he was merely doing it to make her feel better.  It was a lie, but it was the best way to shield herself.

“Ready?”  Natsu extends his hand to help Lucy to her feet.

She nods and takes hold, gripping on while he maneuvers her around and onto the chair.  It weakened Lucy to where her muscles were slowly losing their strength because her heart was struggling to keep her body oxygenated and functioning properly.  With support she could stand for brief periods, but only with support.  At least with Natsu, she could put her faith in his hold that he’d never let her fall.  

After adjusting the foot plates and making sure Lucy was comfortable, Natsu takes off towards the cafeteria two floors down.  He’d already alerted dining when he’d gone out for the chair they were coming down, to prepare a meal within Lucy’s dietary needs.  It wasn’t a terribly restrictive diet, but there were some limits, such as no stimulants like caffeine, or anything with a high fat content.

Natsu loved these little dates as he called them.  On warm sunny days it may include a stroll outside for some fresh air, or if it was cold and rainy, merely sharing a cup of light hot chocolate in the visitor's lounge in front of the massive floor to ceiling windows.  But if Lucy wasn’t feeling well, he was content to sit by her side in her room, talking, telling stories, or doing anything just to cheer her up.  Sometimes he would fantasize during these events as if they were simply at home and relaxing like a normal couple.

“Oh yay, beef barley,” Lucy stirs and lifts a spoonful up before letting it flow back into the bowl.  “My fave.”  She knew why they gave it to her, but that didn’t make it anymore appetizing.  Barley was supposedly good for heart health, and the protein it contained was useful for her body.  She crunches up the soda crackers the meal came with and drops them into the soup, letting the pieces soak in.

“I don’t mind it,” Natsu shovels a spoonful into his mouth.  He always made it a point to eat the same thing they gave Lucy, so she felt more normal about it.  “But if you really don’t want it, I could ask them to make you a sandwich instead.”

“No, no,” she waves her hand, her voice oozing with a sense of longing mixed with frustration, “it’s okay, I’m fine with it.  I just would kill to eat a fatty, tasty, slathered in sauce cheeseburger with a side of waffle fries or something you know.”

Natsu snorts a laugh and almost chokes on his food as a mental picture of Lucy chomping down on a burger, with sauce dripping down her chin both amuses and arouses him.  “I-I can imagine,” he bangs his chest a couple times to dislodge some liquid that made it down the wrong pipe.  “Throw some sriracha sauce on that vision and you just named one of my favorite foods.”  Could this woman become any more of his dream girl?!

She giggles, “So, um…” Lucy hesitates for a second.  She didn’t want to sound desperate or anything, but loneliness was the quickest way to send her back into a depression and she cherished the time the man spent with her.  “How much time are you spending with me today?”    

“As long as you’d like,” he winks.  “I always do my rounds first and come to you last so I can stay as long as I want to.”

Ugh!  The flirty thing again!  Lucy wills her body to behave.  “Wow, that makes me pretty special, huh?”

“Extremely,” he leans in, letting his gaze grow half-lidded, and his tone mellowing into a soothing cadence. “I’m gonna steal your heart one day Luce, that’s a promise.”

“What?!  Pfft,” damn, she can feel the heat rising in her cheeks, “there’s no point in stealing a broken heart sir…”  Despite the desire to feel aroused over his comment, it also brought a sense of sadness to her she fought down the urge to let tears rise to the surface.  ‘He’s just teasing… he’s just being sweet, trying to make me feel normal… It’s not real Lucy, It’s not real!’  But oh, how she wished it was!  Natsu was the perfect man that any woman would kill for.  Sweet, strong, handsome, silly, she could go on and on with the list.  He was the one ray of sunshine in her dreary world now that she truly was all alone in it.  The stress of caring for her had driven her father into his own massive heart attack last year.  She had no one, except Natsu.

“I mean it Luce,” he reaches out and takes her hand, letting his thumb sweep over the skin.  “Broken or not, I want to steal it and have the person it’s attached to a—ll to myself.”

“Please don’t,” Lucy pulls her hand back.  She could feel the tears pooling and if she didn’t stop it now, they’d soon fall.  “You know I appreciate it, really I do Natsu.”  Lucy looks back up at him and cracks a pained smile.  “But you deserve someone who’s not broken.”

The absolute pain measured in Lucy’s eyes, and the sorrow in her voice was like a dagger straight through Natsu’s soul.  He could understand her desire of not wanting to believe in miracles or to shield herself from further pain, but that only killed him more.  She deserved so much more out of life. Ugh, if only he had a direct line to destiny so he could kick its ass and tell it to leave Lucy in peace!  He didn’t want to upset her anymore.  “Okay, I’ll stop pushing too hard.  But I promise you Luce, one day you will walk out of this hospital a healthy woman, and you can steal my heart instead.”

She sighs, “You can’t promise something like that.”

“I have faith,” Natsu gives her his wide, ear-to-ear grin and a wink.  “You’ll see.”

How could she stay upset after seeing that smile of his?  That damn ear-to-ear grin that lit up his eyes.  The eternal optimist, Natsu Dragneel trying so hard to keep her spirits up.  He and that smile may very well be the one thing keeping her going at this point.  “Okay, okay,” Lucy chuckles, “I give up, yes it's possible.”

“Woo Hoo!”  He pumps his fist in the air in an exaggerated victory, “that’s the spirit!  Now eat, so we can go check out the babies!”  

Lucy laughs again and nods with a smile, “okay.”

It was harder than she let on to him because she knew how much he enjoyed checking out all the new arrivals, but seeing those babies coming into this world while she would be leaving it shortly was painful.  All those hopeful, bright little lives….  They were a bittersweet reminder that a hospital holds two balances; the power to bring life into this world or take it away by not being able to heal a person.  She didn’t blame the doctors, for they were doing their best, because sometimes the sands of time runs its course and there is just nothing more they can do.  It was simply a part of life, to be born and die, never knowing when the grim reaper would come calling.  

“Look, look!  I was told three were born yesterday.” Natsu points excitedly as he parks her chair in front of the viewing window of the nursery.  He plasters his face against the clear glass.  “Two girls and one boy.  Awww, one already has some hair!”  Turning back to Lucy, “can you see okay, would you like me to help you stand up?”

“Thank you for the offer, but I can see just fine,” Lucy throws on a smile for effect.  “They are quite adorable, aren’t they?”

“Are you sure?  You know the doctors want you to stand sometimes so that your legs don’t atrophy as quickly.  I will gladly bear the weight.”

“Are you saying I’m heavy?!”  She was just teasing, but it was the perfect setup to do so.

“What?!” he waves his arms, “n-no way!  You’re not heavy, I meant I’m stronger so I can hold you up…”

“So, I’m weak?”

“Wait, what, no!”

Lucy giggles at how much the man was stepping all over his tongue.  “I’m just teasing you, Natsu.  I know I should, but I’m just a little tired today.”  That was partially true.

The man pouts, “so mean Luce,” he whines and throws on the saddest puppy dog expression he can muster, even a sniffle for effect.  “But it was an excuse to hold you in my arms.”

Oh, how quickly the tides can turn as his bold little statement sets her face ablaze.  He re—ally needed to stop with the flirting, or she was about to have an actual heart attack!  “All right,” Lucy groans, “just for a few minutes.”  It wasn’t the first time she’s allowed him to help her stand and maintain her balance, but before his little retort, she’d never thought twice about it.  

Natsu locks the chair and adjusts the foot plates out of the way so that Lucy can put her feet on the ground.  “Just take all the time you need,” his voice grows soft and soothing, “don’t rush.”

She tests her leg strength by pushing with the balls of her feet against the floor, rocking them and applying pressure to warm up the muscles.  Brief movements, like getting from the bed to the wheelchair were one thing, standing for a few minutes or walking a few feet were another.  It was frustrating and embarrassing, so she avoided it as much as possible, like when going to the bathroom.  Lucy didn’t mind when the nurses assisted her with that compromising predicament, but this was embarrassing in a different way.  

Once she feels her legs are ready, she holds out her hand which Natsu quickly takes hold of and braces her other on the arm of the chair to push herself up.  When she gets to a standing position, Natsu moves around her body, placing an arm around her waist as he gently guides her the two feet to the window.  He stays on constant alert, monitoring any change so if her legs decide to buckle, he can catch her.  As soon as she reaches the window, Lucy places her hands on the slight ledge of the sill.  Natsu then switches his position to stand directly behind her, wrapping both arms around her upper chest to hold her close, but above the tubes in her lower abdomen.  

Could he feel how much her body was heating up from the intimate contact?  Lucy fought her own emotions to keep from escalating and stressing her heart out, for she was keenly aware of how they would look to anyone passing by.  Dear heavens, it was hard to do with his chest pressed up against her back…. She wished they could stay like that forever.  ‘Breathe… just breathe, Lucy…. Look at the babies, just focus on the babies…’  That only made it worse.

The babies….  Just a day old. The little angels were like moldable clay.  They’ll grow… they’ll change…  Will they become teachers or astronauts some day?  Oh, look at the one, smiling in his sleep, how precious.  Someday, will they make their dreams come true?  What will they be like?  Good little kids or naughty, friendly, the life of the party or a shy introvert?  Like many young girls who dreamt of becoming a mother someday, Lucy had envisioned having a family of her own with the love of her life and the white picket fence.  A little girls fantasy.  She closes her eyes, praying that Natsu wasn’t paying attention to her.  The tears pool behind her eyelids and she stills the desire to sniffle.  That fantasy was now dashed like a shipwreck against the shoreline, never to sail the seven seas again.  Natsu would have made the perfect husband and father for such a fairytale, and he will one day, just not in her storybook ending.

She’d been so focused on fighting back her emotions, that Lucy hadn’t noticed Natsu’s head was now resting against her shoulder or how his face was curled against the nape.  

“It’s okay to cry sometimes Luce.”

His whispered voice, so close to her ear, breaks the dam.  Lucy squeezes her eyes tighter and fingertips curl, tensing against the windowsill.  Shit, he knew all along.  Her knees tremble as the tears flow freely, but she feels his hold tighten around her to keep her from falling.  It had been some time since she’d allowed herself to release the pain in this way.

Natsu hadn’t been certain of it until now, but in the last several times they’d come to the pediatric ward, he’d sensed a change in Lucy’s energy.  She always wore a smile with a hidden agenda and now he’s confirmed his suspicions.  Well, it was his mother really that pointed it out one day when he’d mentioned it to her.  The woman was great at understanding human emotions and after years of caring for patients, she’s learned to follow her intuition.  

“Lucy was a young woman who may not live to be a mother or have a family of her own, of course it might upset her to see the infants.”  His first inclination was to stop bringing the woman to this ward, but his mother gave him a second option.  “Help her grieve.”  Those three words coming out of his mother’s mouth stunned him briefly. What did she mean to help her grieve?!!  “If Lucy has no one to turn to, how can she process what is happening to her.  Show her it��s okay to be upset, help her let out the pain before it consumes her.”  

“I will hold you for as long as I need to Luce, just let the pain go.”

But it was killing him to do this!  Natsu had told his mother that he didn’t think he was strong enough. The woman simply smiled, patted his cheek and said, “I believe in you son.  If you truly care, then you’ll have the strength to move mountains for her.”  Damn his mother and her intuition, though Natsu realized only a fool couldn’t see how much he was falling for Lucy.  He’d sell his soul to a demon to get her a new heart.

Strangely, Lucy’s body wasn’t reacting like she thought it would.  Stress usually caused her blood pressure to rise and strain her heart muscles, but that wasn’t happening.  She couldn’t stop the tears from flowing like a broken spigot, and maybe that was the best thing, like a release of the pressure that had built up unbeknownst to her.  Her hands move from the windowsill to Natsu’s arms, clutching to and resting her head on them.  Lucy couldn’t look up, not yet, but she needed to let him know she heard his words, and they meant the world to her.  

She would have made an amazing mother, Natsu was sure of it, and it would be a lie to say he’s never thought of or imagined them staring through this viewing window at their own little boy or girl one day.  Would the child have Lucy’s beautiful golden waves or chocolate brown eyes?  Or maybe take Natsu’s salmon pink hair and onyx eyes.  No matter what, the child would be perfect and loved.  A child that as the day ticked down on the transplant list was losing hope of ever being born.  Crap!  Natsu squeezes his eyes closed tight.  He couldn’t let her see him struggling with this, but damn if those images didn’t just cut him deep.

Neither of them knew how long they were standing there or even if any of the other hospital staff had noticed.  They were in their own little world while time passed them by.  It was Lucy who finally let out a small exhale as a last release of all that had struck her today, and with that tension gone, the tears turned into exhaustion.  Ever cry so hard and for so long that your body became lethargic?  Lucy yawns wide and deep, her eyes growing heavy and clouded, a little lightheaded, ready to go to sleep.

Natsu kisses the crown of her head and without a word, maneuvers her so she can sit back down in her wheelchair.  He sets the foot panels in place and helps her feet onto them, then pushes her back to her room.  There is a companionable silence, as if all their wordless exchanges had communicated volumes that needed no explanation.  Once back in her own room, Natsu helps her onto the bed and set the wheelchair aside.

After helping to re-attach her heart monitors, Natsu checks, “is there anything else I can get you before I go?”  She shakes her head.  “In that case…”

Lucy motions for him to lean in closer and once he’s close enough, she hesitates briefly then places a kiss on his cheek.  “Thank you for everything Natsu.”

His eyes widen, shocked by what she’d just done.  “Luce?”

“I just felt like doing it,” she blushes.  “Tonight… I don’t know, I just feel so much better and it’s all because of you.”  Lucy closes her eyes as a yawn cuts through.  They were so tired…    

“You are very welcome,” Natsu smiles.  He moves to leave, but Lucy grabs his hand and squeezes.  When he turns back to look, her eyes are still closed, and there is a slight smile on her face which brings a swelling of his pride.  He leans down and kisses the back of her hand.  “Rest now, and I will see you again tomorrow.”

Mister Sandman beckoned to Lucy of mystical creatures bathed in glittering stars, calling upon father time to bring peace to a weary soul.  She didn’t know why, but though the pull was strong, she fought his dreamy reverie.  Today had been the most emotionally charged day in a long time.  All the tears Lucy had shed brought a new peace to her spirit, something in this entire experience not even a trained therapist could have given her.  The amount of love that Natsu provided, whether platonic or wishful yearnings, calmed her, and pushed away the emptiness she had felt for so long…. So long stuck in this pain.  She wanted to relive this day forever, safe in Natsu’s arms, drowning in the pool of his obsidian hues.  ‘… to steal his heart…’  Lucy knew she already had, just as he had stolen hers in a way.  A sense of warmth floods through her body, shielding her to the cool air-conditioned room.  Lucy’s smile widens as her mind slips into the abyss of dreams, of a pink-haired prince who’d finally set her soul free.

“Natsu wake up,” the voice repeats as the person attached to it shakes his sleeping form.  “Natsu wake up.”

“Huh?” His clouded mind hears the voice of his mother.  “What is it?”  He turns his head, his eyes temporarily pin-pointed from the harsh lamp light next to his bed.  “Mom, what are you doing in my room?”  Natsu pushes himself to a sitting position as his mother takes a seat next to him.  With his vision focusing better, he finally notices the moisture clouding his mother’s eyes.  “Mom, what is it?!”  

She takes his hand, squeezing it tightly with her head slightly lowered in pain.  “I-I’m sorry, son, but the hospital just called me…. Your friend, s-she had a massive heart attack.”

By the time his mother had finished the sentence, Natsu had stopped listening to anything she was saying. He knew, the moment she’d said I’m sorry… to wake him up in the middle of the night, it had to be….  All the blood drains from his face and his shoulders slump.  He felt dizzy, weak, like all of his strength were stripped away, leaving him an empty shell.  He turns his head slowly, the tears already flowing down his cheeks in an endless trickle to meet the woman’s sullen gaze.  This wasn’t happening!  Not yet!  Lucy was fine today!  Fine!!  He wanted to scream!  But his throat was closed up, choking back the sobs that wanted to break free.  

“Oh honey,” the woman wraps her arms around her son and pulls him tightly against her chest.  “I’m so sorry,” her own tears flowing freely and hitting his face.  “Don’t give up hope, they were able to save her, but she’s been placed in a medically induced coma.”

It couldn’t be true!  Why weren’t his cries coming out?!  Natsu’s voice refused to make a sound and all he could do was weep.  It hurt so much!  His fists clench at his stiffened sides.  This wasn’t fair!  

“Let it out son, don’t hold it in,” she coos, doing her best to soothe the pain.  “They believe she didn’t suffer because it happened while she was asleep, that should give you a bit of comfort.”

No, it doesn’t!  She was still in a coma!  He’d almost lost her!  And, “I-I never g-got to s-say good... good…” he couldn’t finish it.  What if she never woke up again?  Natsu’s heart ached at the thought he may never again hear her beautiful laughter or that silly snort she would sometimes make when he teased her.  This world was too cruel to do this to a woman who should be in college, starting the next stage of her life.  A fit of sobs racks his body, ‘I never got to tell her I love her…’

“Would you like me to drive you there, son?”

“Yes, please mom, i-if you don’t mind.”  

“Of course.”

Natsu paused in front of the closed door to Lucy’s new room, unsuccessfully preparing himself for what he knew he would find behind it.  On the way to the hospital, his mother had filled in a few more details that tore the man up and brought a wave of guilt flooding over him.  Had he caused the heart attack?

The heart monitor alarms had gone off only 30 minutes after he had left her for the evening, and the doctors wasted no time in implementing emergency resuscitative efforts.  They deemed it a miracle, but after 10 minutes of herculean efforts they were able to get her heart restarted.  Lucy was then moved to the ICU unit and placed on other machines such as a feeding tube and ventilator to keep her alive.

Maybe he shouldn’t have pushed her to see the infants after all.  Maybe the crying had stressed her out and neither of them had known it.  She seemed perfectly fine when he’d left!  Happy, in fact, happier than he’d seen in a long time.  Natsu’s fingers absentmindedly trail over the area she had kissed.  Lucy was at peace when he’d left.  His mom told him her sudden fatigue may have been a sign.  Or maybe he clenches his jaw, that kiss was her way of saying goodbye, like she knew something might happen once she’d closed her eyes.  The way she’d grabbed his hand when he tried to leave….  “Fuck!” he grits outs as the tears pool in his bloodshot eyes again.  “I shouldn’t have left her…”  

He pushes the door open and his knees buckle instantly at the sight.  Tubes… all the tubes, and monitors, the beeping and lights, bright flashing lights of the stat graphs, subcutaneous fluids hooked to her arms, the drips… slow drips of liquid and medicine flowing into Lucy’s body.  He wasn’t ready for it.  Her beautiful face partially hidden by the feeding tube running into her mouth and the breathing tubes entering her nostrils.  If it wasn’t for his mother standing at his side, Natsu would have collapsed to the floor when his legs lose all their strength and crumple.  The woman guides him to a chair placed beside the bed.  

“Oh god, Lucy!”  The tears pour out and sobs take control of his body.  He throws his upper body over hers, clutching desperately to the blanket covering her, and burying his face into its folds.  Natsu felt a part of his soul die right then and there.  “You don’t deserve this,” his muffled words stolen by the fabric.  Why couldn’t they find her a heart?!

“Son,” Natsu feels his mother’s hand resting on his shoulder, but he doesn’t respond.  “Son, there’s no telling how long Lucy will stay in this state, so it’s best you say your goodbyes now.  They say that people can hear you even if they are in a coma.”

But all he can do is shake his head fervently, denying it to the world and himself that Lucy wouldn’t come out of this.  He had hope, damn it!  Natsu refused to say goodbye because that meant he’d given up hope Lucy would recover somehow.  

The woman seemed to understand her son’s frustration and didn’t push.  “Then, just talk to her son, let her know you’re here.”  

“Mom, could you… I wanna be alone, please?”                

“I’ll come back in an hour to take you home.”  

Natsu just nods in response.  He hears the door open and close, the click of the lock like the final latch being set on a coffin, sealing them to their fate.  He’d known the dangers of giving his heart to Lucy and yet despite what was happening, still had no regrets.  She deserved the peace of knowing someone loved her, and if this really was the last moments, Natsu could have that tiny measure of satisfaction knowing he was the one who had provided it to her.

“But you’re not gonna die yet, Luce.  You can’t, do you hear me, you can’t!  It’s not your time yet, so you need to fight for me please…”  Oh, how his heart was shattering into a million pieces as if he was the one with the problem.  It fucking hurt!  Emotional daggers stabbing him in the chest repeatedly.  “You’re stronger than this, Lucy!  I know it, you’re gonna wake up from this!”

By the time his mother returns an hour later, the sheer exhaustion had consumed Natsu.  She finds him passed out, and it takes a bit of begrudging effort to get him to leave Lucy’s bedside.  He was so afraid to leave again in case she passed away, because he didn’t want her to die alone.  It was his mother that coaxed him into believing that she wasn’t alone as long as he kept her in his heart.    

Day after day, week after week, became a never-ending cycle of zombiesque activity.  Natsu’s body was there, trudging through routine, but his mind was broken, battling between keeping hope alive and giving up.  He went to work, did his job, then headed to the hospital.  It got to where the staff had placed a spare bed in the room, and he practically lived in the ICU with Lucy.  He was lucky that his mother was a long-time nurse and he a volunteer with an impeccable standing that the hospital allowed him to bend the visitor hour rules.  They knew the woman was alone in this world, so maybe they also felt a sense of duty to become that family for her, because nobody deserved to die alone.

He grew obsessed with anything to do with her condition and used the lonely hours to scour the internet for information.  Sure, much of the stories about coma patients being able to hear weren’t really solid or verifiable, but any glimmer of possibilities was worth the effort.  It couldn’t hurt to try.  Whether it was telling her about his day or what was happening in their town, Natsu would keep talking.  He bought a kindle and read stories he thought she would like, fantasies of princes saving princesses filled with mythical creatures.  He remembered her saying she used to write such stories and wished he had been able to read them.

When he was too tired to read, or his throat was too sore to continue, Natsu wrote her letters.  The staff and his family were getting worried about Natsu.  So, the hospital’s mental health service counselor had come in one day and spoke to him on the off chance that they could get through to him.  While he refused to listen to most of the advice, he found the writing to be helpful.  Maybe when Lucy awakens, she could read them. But for now, it was one way he could pour out some of his thoughts in silence.      

He was always tired and exhausted, pushing himself through this day-to-day routine, sometimes forgetting to eat.  Concerned staff would often pop their heads in to check on him to make sure he had or scolded him when the hours grew late and they knew he needed to work the next day.  His bloodshot eyes held dark bags under them, and his mother swore he was losing weight.  But he would always push them off saying he was fine.

“No, you are not son.  As a mother I am supremely proud to know I raised a son who cares this much, but I don’t want to lose you too.”

“And you’re not, I’m perfectly healthy.”

“You know as well as I stress is harmful to the body.”

Natsu sighs and runs a hand over his face, “mom, I’m fine, I even cut back on work hours to make you happy.”

“And I appreciate the gesture, but you’re still working, just here!”

“Mom, I’m fine!  Please, just leave me be, I-I don’t want to fight.  I just want… I’m not leaving her.  End of discussion.”

His mother sighs, knowing that her stubborn boy would not listen.  “Just please, Natsu, eat more, get more sleep, do it for me.”

“Okay, okay, I will.”        

“I love you, son.”

“I love you too, mom.”

She kisses his forehead and turns to leave, taking one last look at her boy, and to Lucy.  Grandeeney Dragneel pauses with a bittersweet smile as Natsu resumed reading quietly from his Kindle.  Somehow, she knew that young girl loved her son back, and it broke her heart to know they were like those star-crossed lovers from a long-lost folktale, never destined to truly be together.  She liked Lucy.  The girl was smart and sweet, very articulate whenever she visited during her rounds, and her strength through this all was remarkable.  Even after being dealt such a cruel hand by fate, she never grew bitter or resentful.  Her son couldn’t have fallen for a better girl.  Grandeeney slips away quietly before the moisture building in her eyes could be seen by Natsu, bracing against the closed door, and praying for a miracle.

Is this that tunnel people talk about?  Lucy wonders as all she could see through her eyelids is the brightest light that seemed just too brilliant to be normal.  Her eyes hurt a little from it, but if this was heaven, why is there still pain?  She forces her lids open and tries to shield them with her hand that… doesn’t seem to move, huh?  But it wasn’t just her arm, her entire body felt heavy.  The images filtering in through her vision were blurry, slowly gaining focus as her pupils adjust to the light to see, wait, ceiling tiles?  Why does heaven look so much like a hospital?

“Oh good, you’re awake.”

Lucy looks over and sees a doctor standing beside her.  “Where am I?”  Or more like why am I here?  

“Do you remember the heart attack?”  She shakes her head.  “You’ve been in a coma for two months after you suffered a massive heart attack.  But luckily, a local donor came through...”  He goes on to explain about the surgery telling her that the transplant surgery went well, her body was accepting the new heart, and while she’ll still be going through three to six months or rehabilitation and monitoring, she was on track to make a full recovery.  

“Oh-okay, thank you so much, doctor.”  It was a miracle to be alive again with a new heart.  But something felt wrong, missing?    

“I’ll be back in a couple hours to check on you again Ms. Heartfilia, but if anything feels off in the meantime, be sure to ring the nurses.”  He moves to leave, but she stops him.

“Doctor, the donor, can you tell me about them, please?”

The man hesitates for a moment.  “Well Ms. Heartfilia, privacy laws don’t allow me to….”

“You don’t have to tell me their name or anything.  Please, just a little information.  I’d like to know who saved my life.”

The man sighs and takes the seat next to the bed, clearly torn with what he was about to say.  “He was a young volunteer at the hospital who tragically fell asleep at the wheel and passed away from a car accident…”

The doctor's voice droned on for another minute as he tried to reassure her that the man didn’t suffer. It was quick and painless from a one-car crash.  As if that was supposed to make her feel any better.  Lucy didn’t need to be told the name as tears poured down her cheeks, because she knew.  She just knew.  That was what was missing, for she knew that if she’d had received the new heart, Natsu would have been the one by her side when she’d woken up… unless he could be there.  With all the wires attached to her arm, she could barely move them without the sting of the I.V. lines, but she didn’t care.  Lucy’s hands cover her lowered face as the tears continue to stream.

“I’m very sorry, Ms. Heartfilia.  Would you like me to have someone from mental health support to come see you?”

Lucy shakes her head. She couldn’t speak, she couldn’t even think.  

“Mrs. Dragneel would also like to speak to you when you’re up to it.”  

More tears and sobs choke out. Oh god that was Natsu’s mom, how could she face Natsu’s mother!  

Seeing the woman’s distress, the man nods and squeezes her shoulder, “Again, I’m truly sorry Ms. Heartfilia.  We all miss him very much.  Please try to get some rest,” and leaves the woman to grieve in her own way.  

Her head was spinning.  It wasn’t supposed to happen like this!  Why was destiny such a malicious bastard to take away the one person she had and leave her in this world all alone?  Lucy clasps a hand over her chest, recalling the last conversation, that last night with Natsu.  She squeezes her eyes to the pain of the memories…  He’d made her so happy… so very happy, and yes, she remembered thinking for the first time since her diagnosis; she didn’t feel alone anymore.  Fuck if she didn’t want to just keel over again, but that would mar the beautiful gift that she’s received.  Natsu believed with every fiber of his being that she would walk out of here one day and she will live on for him, that’s a promise.  “Our heart,” Lucy breathes out…  But how ironic that he was right all along.  She really did steal his heart in the cruelest of ways… 

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