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cephalonheadquarters · 3 months

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my stupid ass accidentally hit unfollow instead of ask button -_- ANGYWAYS like what is UP with c.Cemelo? Camelo>?i forgot how to spell his name the second i looked away from it THE MUTLICOLORED MENTALLY ILL GUYthag one. i have so many questions about him like why is he a freak (lovingly). why is his relationship with the big guy so inasne liek whats theier deal. im so interested (props my chin up in my hands and smiles suuuper wide) i would love to hear about them if u wanna talk about them PEACE ✌ (i mean all this genuiinely btw)

HIS NAEM CHAMELO it’s just Chameleon but also Camilo. I hope that helps..you got it close in the second try. the first one is like cementHe was forced to eat cement at 6. I'm probably going to switch around with his nicknames and name a lot (Chamy, Melo) out of habit sorry if its confusing

ANYWAYS. I'M REALLY GLAD YOU ASKED HI ok. LOTS of words soooo undah da cut they go. Also sorry if a lot of this does Not make sense trust me I don't make sense to myself sometimes

He is a freak because I really like characters like him. He's basically how my thought process works so that probably also means you're calling me a freak too(Lighthearted)

He is horrifically anxious and has got anger issues and is just real irritable in general (And probably more things.?). He has trouble dealing with his own emotions because they're often so extreme, so he does things on impulse despite overthinking a lot. He sorta contradicts himself in his thoughts and feelings and actions. Idk he's weird. Doesn't always know what he wants and has a tough time with communication. Him changing colors involuntarily depending on his mood doesn't help either if the person he's talking to knows which colors go with what feeling. He tries his hardest to hide his emotions when he wants to whether it be angry, nervous, sad, even happy, but he also knows he'll always have a dead giveaway if he feels anything ever.

(Note: Optional reading in this next part I ended up rambling↓)

I do worry about him getting so worked up because I don't want people to think that I think feeling emotions is dumb or whatever because I tend to like. Make him accidentally funny or play it off as a joke. And then I remember he feels like I do so I don't care if people get mad at me for having a character that gets upset or jumps to conclusions over little things or has a lot of inner monologue that's just freaking out because I do that a lot too. I like when I can relate to characters, I like to put things about me in my characters. People have told me that a lot of my characters have very real personalities (I LOVE WRITING PERSONALITIES) so I think I'm okay. It makes me feel extra happy when people tell me they can relate too. A lot of that didn't explain anything about him actually sorry lawl they call me the rambler

Okey anyways

About him and Diesel (da big guy)....

I don't even know where to start with them goodness gracious they're a mess. I guess when they first met. Chamy got a new job at the stupid dumb pizza place that Diesel had already been working at for a while despite almost Never showing up for (Their boss, Sharlotte, doesn't even give a darn and thinks of Diesel as a "son she never had" so he gets away with a lot). Diesel noticed Melo was new and because he is like a big cartoon bully of course he messes with Chamelo, mainly by stealing his beloved motor scooter thing.

Diesel made sure Chamy saw that he stole it, he wanted Chamelo to see him. If he wanted Melo to try to get back at him, it worked. When he finally caught Diesel with his scooter, Chamelo lunged at him like a rabid animal and they started fighting over it. Of course, Chamelo won through sheer rage and took back his scooter and Diesel hasn't taken it since then, but Melo has to let him drive it whenever they're delivering together (Because Sharlotte thought it was a genius decision to partner him up with Diesel because she thought Chamelo would die).

Chamelo holds a grudge against Diesel over that whole situation, but now he just finds himself instigating a fight with him for literally no reason (There is a reason it is because he is Gay and a Freak).

He then eventually realizes he is Madly In Love with that chimaera guy and has a meltdown about it and can't tell ANYONE or he will DIE!!!!!! And so he becomes incredibly awkward and even more annoying around Diesel

Asker (his friend he doesn't know is his friend) questions him about Diesel because they notice him being weird about him and they find out he likes him but they don't really care but one time they told Diesel that Melo is kind of a freak about him and then Chamelo punched them in the face (I drew it in [this post] except it's in inklish because I thought it was stupid it's sandwiched between a bunch of other drawings sorry. I still think it's funny though)

Umm yeah Chamelo is hopelessly in love and is quite scared about it because he's never felt actual romantic love before with another fish, only his scooter(bc. objectum...). He doesn't know how to deal with his feelings! It's like, a weird mix of hatred and yearning. So like. A hate-love. He wants to keep hating Diesel, he doesn't want to get attached to him but he already is..!! He feels like he's supposed to hate him, Chamy doesn't know what he even likes about Diesel. He wants to stop feeling like this but he doesn't want to at the same time, if that makes sense. He tries to tell himself it's a passing feeling or anything that isn't being in love.

He's scared of what could happen if they ever do end up together, that he might stop being in love and maybe it was just a passing feeling after all, and he's frustrated at the thought of Diesel never knowing about how he really feels. He doesn't know what to do about this, and most likely won't for a while. It's painful and overwhelming for him both physically and emotionally :'(

Diesel still I guess bullies Chamelo sometimes but that is just because he always does that and doesn't know anything about himself 🤣🤣😂😂AAAHHHH AAAAGHHH AHHHHHH AHHH AHHsorry. He is bisexual. He does not know that. He also shows up to work more because of Chamelo. But he also didn't realize that until they had a short one-sided conversation on Squidmas [see here].

Diesel is taking longer than Chamelo to realize he likes him, and honestly I cannot imagine a world where Diesel actually reciprocates feelings. I don't want to say he will but I don't want to say he won't. I don't know how to describe it. Something just happens I guess lol. I'll figure it out

Since then, they've been oh-so-painfully-slowly warming up to each other, still getting mad at one another, still yelling, still fighting, still absolutely Hating the other's existence...but hey...they're together more because they want to be.........AAAGHHHHHHH isn't fighting so intimate😍THEY HAVE TO STOPPPP sorry .Sorry. I'm really normal about their horrendously weird relationship that is taking Forever to get better. It's like slow-burn if you put it at 0.5x speed. Also I wouldn't call them enemies to lovers, they aren't exactly enemies nor are they lovers later That doesn't make sense but I wouldn't know how to explain it. Swagever.

At some point Sharlotte's car and a modded trizooka have to do with them (along with a couple older ocs of mine) but that doesn't really have anything to do with right now. A lot of my drawings of the two are out of order because I'm impatient lol. I want to try to not go through like. arcs? so quickly because 1. I fear the day I run out of ideas and 2. Everything has to end and I don't like the idea of finishing all of my splatoon's lives but luckily splatoon happens in real time so I have a lot of years to go if I'm That determined about my guys LOL Sorry unrelated

TL;DR Diesel and Chamelo's relationship is so complex and stupid it is almost entirely beyond my own comprehension. They hate each other so much that they want to be with each other.

Okay that's all I could think of. A Billion Thankies for asking me about them... Apologies if you didn't really need all of That for me to explain. I like to explain things ❤

#jfc. Sorry that is a ton of words i kept having to reread everything a million times if i got something wrong or missed anything well.#then i will die forever #It is currently 2 am this took me a While. Ok goodnight #ask #chamelo fláje #diesel fintasma

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nathank77 · 1 month

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3/30/24

1:52 a.m

I thought of two more reasons I dislike Mike.

1) when I brought up white mulberries. I mean we had a slight scientific debate about the d2 receptors.

He said something like this, "you're delusional if you think dopamine is the only neurotransmitter Involved in psychosis, so to think that white mulberries will cure you just bc they help modulate the d2 receptors is asinine."

I responded with, "well if you're like me and you just hallucinate, they perscribe a dopamine antagonist aka antipsychotics. Typical ones. Bc it's been shown that excessive dopaminergic activity at the d2 receptors are a major player in auditory as well as visual and other hallucinations. That's why its the first line of treatment for hallucinations... beyond that the dopamine hypothesis is heavily supported by scientific research and is the basis for why typical antipsychotics are perscribed for people who hallucinate. "

I then said, "of course I have read other hypotheses about schizophrenia and I'm not stupid I'm sure many other neurotransmitters play a role, however the dopamine hypothesis has the most evidence supporting it and in some cases (not most) people who take a typical antipsychotic who just hallucinate can make a full recovery despite it being their only medication and it only lowering dopamine levels."

I'm not wrong either, but the issue is he always challenges my thoughts and makes me feel stupid for trying something new. Despite my extensive research. Yea there prob are other neurotransmitters at work but why shit on my parade when I'm trying something. I don't actually expect it to work.... antipsychotics barely work most people still hear the voice for years and even forever. Although antipsychotics aka d2/dopamine antagonists generally make the voice more quiet, less intrusive, less intelligent, less creative and make the voice more easy to live with... so I mean suck on that maybe it doesn't cure everyone but it has cured people and it has also improved the quality of life in people with auditory hallucinations.... drastically enough for them to be okay with the horrible side effects...

2) when I talked about cbd and taking it for microsleep, to recover from the damage it caused, as CBD has been shown in elderly rats and adult rats to not only cause neuroplascity/ neurogenisis and beyond that cbd has been shown to repair damaged pathways related to alzheimers which is a direct effect of microsleep. I'm more likely to get dementia and alzheimers bc I microslept. Cbd has been shown to repair those pathways....

I was talking about my medical card and why I was mad about the Erin/Paulina/Kristen Report thing and how I wanted my card for the savings... to get CBD.

Mike said, "well if you want to take a placebo and pretend it's going to help then go for it."

I explained that the only way I can recover from the trauma from microsleeping besides sleeping every night is to try to do something to fix the damage and to me that research regarding cbd and neurogensis/repairing alzheimers pathways is something that I comfort myself with. Everyday I take 15mg of cbd and it comfort me to know these facts. And the audacity of calling it a placebo when on Google scholar you can find copious amounts of research showing a casual relationship between cbd/neurogensis/repairing damaged pathways that cause alzheimers/dementia.

Like bro I have PTSD over microsleep.... and all I can do is take CBD to be proactive... that's all I got. I can't go back in time. I can't take a pill. I can't recover from it in some sorta modern medicine way. There isn't a, "you microslept for 30 days, take this to repair the damage it caused" medication.

My only comfort is that research and taking CBD and he shit all over it.

I actually do hate Mike. The only other thing I can do is have PTSD about microsleep, take benzos to sleep and freak out about my future and the damage it caused..

And all he could do was spread his cheeks and shit all over my only solution. I have to feel proactive in order to not freak out about the damage. I have do something to cope with the PTSD from it. I'm getting PTSD in relation to my hallucination and psychosis but I'd be lying to you if I wasn't thoroughly traumatized by my microsleep experience. Closing my eyes for 10 minutes is still truly unbearable... flashbacks, nightmares the fucking works.

The idea that I wouldn't take a drug like cbd or do activities to cause neurogensis to repair that damage takes me back to the night it started. The scariest part is thinking about what my future bring.. my only comfort is CBD and my research.

Fuck you Mike, writing all this out is making me want to cry and tbh I'm actually thinking about dropping out- my issue is he saw me concurrently with Kristen. He has made it known that he thinks I'm functioning better than I did before I had psychosis. He has made it known that he is impressed with my sleep tracker/diet tracker/calorie counting/medication management. He could be a major help in proving that I am mentally stable and beyond functional. I could remove his name from the report or leave and say I found another therapist and still leave his name on it.

I don't actually trust him that much but you can see why, it's cause I don't like him. I actually hate him. I believe he believes I'm more functional. I believe he believes I'm stable and not delusional. I do believe he thinks i wouldn't benefit from antipsychotics. He said you don't need them but hypothetically why wouldn't you take them in relationship to that conversation I listed below.

So idk what to do but I spent a hour writing all this at least and I'm almost in tears. I don't trust him fully, yet I know he will support me in this report. I know he won't say I'm delusional or lacking functionality. I know he will say the exact opposite. Yet I don't want to see him anymore. His records could be very helpful. I don't want to see him. Idk what to do. I got to stop writing. I've got out a lot of feelings I've been keeping inside.

Either way I don't feel properly supported and I don't fully trust him and I really think the way in which he chooses to, "challenge," me feels like more like a dick measuring contest and or he feels threatened by my intelligence or he wants me to leave by pissing me off or maybe its all 3.

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gayspock · 2 years

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OK assorted black sails thoughts bc i didnt wanna make a billion individual posts

- first of all i find starz funny bc for real i swear ive never freaking heard of it before, except for torchwood: miracle day which.... literally i never finished but thats a whole ramble for another time (bc despite torchwood being VERY bumpy, i found a lot of value in it, but miracle day was just. give us nothing! to me...help)

- the women on the show are kind of a shame i mean. im not fuming its more of a (dejected sighhhh) lies back do you know what i mean bc its hardly worse than anything else but help... theyre all gorgeous models thus far do you know what i mean. i dont know. i think its just odd sometimes to look at it when the men are all fucking foul looking, mucky type of guys (<3!) and then the girlies are just like hiii<3 like okay LOL. max is rlly pretty tho (as is the lass in the hat- whose name i didnt atch..) so i shant be mad but its also likehelp... even just an OLDER? woman. not even one? sniffy sniffy? okayyy i'll settle

- the gentleman do have some wonderful haircuts i will say. rackham's stoner transmasc that hangs about in unique trousers round the back of spoons.... i mentioned it already but help. your rat tail... and flints pathetic and limp little ponytail. shrimptastic it is.... and johnny silver. (twirls his hair for him)

- INTRO ALSO FUCKS LIKE MAD BTW.

- i love a woman with daddy issues. i cant relate to any of them. not to eleanor, or to shiv or helena or any of the fine women with father problems despite having many of my own. but its very fun to watch them. like girlies (twirls my hair) just give him a slap.... who cares<3

- btw im screaming... john is sooo funny. what a silly little guy. i think hes going to get himself killed he is like a looney tunes character who should have been dead 5 scenes ago but he keeps defying all sense and falling pianos. the very definition of a rapscallion. he is a problem to us all

- whent hey just state their names and theit ships at each other. okay so cute girlies i bet you'd write that in your tinder bios huh<3?

- also i know i keep mocking and also fawning over flints stupid little ponytail but i think he for real deserves long gorgeous beautiful hair. like it would only make sense.

- theres so many guys in here from other things but only a little bit. i know i mentioned billy bones (SO FUNNY STILL) who keeeepsss following me but everyone else is sorta recogniseable. charles was in the 100 ik this. but like hi eeryone hii LOL

- "however what?" "however let me tell you a story. about a spaniard named vazquez." I THINK FLINT LITERALLY SAYS THIS HENEVER ANYHTING AWKWARD HAPPENS TO HIM. I THINK HE LITERALLY DROPS AND SMASHES A PLATE IN IKEA AND THEY COME OVER TO HIM AND HE JUST SAYS LET ME TELL YOU A STORY. I THINK THEY CATCH HIM NICKING 5P BAGS FROM TESCO AND HES LIKE HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT A GENTLEMAN VAZQUEZ. I THINK, PERHAPS, FLINT WOUL HIT SOMEONE WITH A CAR UNDER THE INFLUENCE. AND SIMPLY SAY THE URCA DE LIMA.............. IT WILL PAY FOR YOUR INSURANCE. GOD.

- also i dont know treausre island that well . do you guys think itd be worth a read at some point. not even wrt the show here just idk ik these guys are those guys <3

- i will say also tho btw. u know that reminds me of. i love it when ppl get rlly mad abt, like, funny re-imaginings of old stories, myth and folklore like this. SORRY. JUST SAYING. i remember of all the issues there were bbc merlin, ppl fucking fuming bc it disgraces arthurian legend. girlie i dont think colin morgan made patheitc little fuck me eyes for 5 seasons for authenticity.

- speaking of. sir percival billy bones is so funny. its like theyre keeping him around just to take the piss of their big strapping guy arent they.

- i also love gates. one like to slap his bald head

- ANNE? IS THAT HER NAME? I WANT HER CREEPY CRAWLY PUSSY SO BADLY. i realise thats her name. i think. shes also like... insanely fucking hot. im like obsessed with her a bit. its the hat. and the voice. i would not give a shit otherwise- i do admit.

- ALSO: THE SEX WORKERS AT THIS PORT ARE LITERALLY THE ONLY PEOPLE WITH ANY FUCKING COMPETENCE.

- I KNOW I KEEP GOINGON ABTO HIS HAIR BUT T. THE VERY DEFINITION OF T BOY SWAG I TBHINK IM ABOUT TO PUKE

- NO WAY NO WAYYYY HE STINKS OF WEED SO BAD

- RIGHT UH- this is one of the issues of just putting uncollected thoughts into a post like this, ehrm. im approaching the scene i was warned about

- i had a feeling.... with vane. i was worried he was going to force himself on eleanor after the warnings- because certainly, his character is portrayed in a particular way thus far, to the point where it was like... well had i not been warned, i wouldnt think it, but yeah. ehrm. i guessed.. him - or at least, he would have sth to do with it, as he has here- but god. i forgot about max and i was just thinking: they wouldnt let her go, surely that makes no sense with how early we are into the show, unless its one of THOSE shows where characters are brought in and out like theres a fucking rotating door, with no rhyme or reason- but no ehrm.. yeah. :(

- and now jesus. eleanor girlie i know he ha slong hair but jesus dont just mount him cmon... cmon!!

- sighhh... ok!! end of ep 3. really sombre way to end but <3 there we go... I'LL drop this now. idk if i'll watch more tonight orrrr wht! :3 love and light

#Egg.txt #its not a liveblog per se even if i am writing these while watching just random sentiments<3333 YEAH?#black sails liveblog #<- IN THE TAG JUST FOR ORGANISATION </3

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ninjastormhawkkat · 3 years

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Another Wordgirl Au: Morally Gray Wordgirl

Morally Gray Wordgirl au

I don’t know if anyone else in the Wordgirl fandom thought about this at one point. A what-if I thought one day was what would have happened if Steven became Dr. Two Brains before Becky became Wordgirl? Such as what if Steven became Two Brains when Becky just came to earth as a baby? This is where the au begins

In this au, Becky is adopted by Dr. Two Brains. After Becky and Bob crash land on earth, Bob carries Becky around for a bit and enters the city. This is around the time Steven first becomes Two Brains. Bob, while carrying Becky, runs into Two Brains. At this point, Bob has no idea that Two Brains is a villain. Two Brains has cheese with him and Bob is hungry. Two Brains awkwardly hands some of his cheese to Bob. Two Brains may be a villain now but he is not heartless to not offer someone that is hungry food. Bob eats the cheese while Two Brains holds Becky. Two Brains is nervous at first because some random monkey just gave him a baby to hold😟. When Becky looks at Two Brains, she curiously calls him daddy. She is just a little kid who think that this new man holding her is her parent now. Two Brains heart just melts😍after hearing her call him daddy and looking into her innocent, alien, eyes. He immediately begins to dote on her as a dad would, ex. baby talk and cooing. Bob watches the interaction between Two Brains and Becky and decides that Two Brains would be a great person to stay with and raise Becky. He later regrets his decision.😓😆Here is an outline for how this au would go:

1. Becky still becomes Wordgirl. Bob tries to implement heroic morals into Becky during the time she is being raised by a villain. Becky wants to become a hero because she does not want to see the lives of innocent civilians hurt. However, since Dr. Two Brains also implemented villainous ideals into Becky growing up, her moral values are kind of mixed in her actions as a hero.

2. Becky is more sympathetic towards villains. Ex. When Chuck and Butcher claim to be innocent after being framed by Amazing Rope Guy, she immediately believes them and tries to figure out another angle of who really committed those crimes.

3. She isn’t as upset as when the spotlight is turned off her such as when Tiny Big came onto the scene or when Granny May became bingo champion. She is still upset, but Becky is not as focused on the limelight as canon. She, from Huggy’s teachings, believes that a superhero’s true reward comes from protecting the citizens and just helping when needed to prevent or avenge the cruelest of injustices. Wordgirl will accept gifts or keys to the city out of politeness. She uses the limelight to give the people of Fair City comfort and assurance that she is still there to protect them. Becky views heroism as a job more than a pleasure. It is basically, “You get good results based on how hard and well you do the work, not just what others say.” mentality.

4. That being said, Becky will not take a passive stance and try hard to prove her innocence if the citizens suddenly began to take advantage of her heroism or if they turn on her such as with the evil duplicate or when Granny May framed her for crimes. As I said earlier, Becky in this au views heroism as a job she enjoys and doesn't take impolite backlash, constructive criticism yes. Basically she just becomes done when residents of Fair City act like morons who think they know better. (I have always had a problem when a majority of the residents in Fair City act like gullible idiots. It always irks me how they will turn on Wordgirl easily and not often give a proper apology when they realize they were wrong. Sometimes, to me, it seems the villains have better appreciation for Wordgirl than the citizens. I am not including all citizens, just seems like a majority do this.) (Okay rant over.) Becky will be like, “if you guys don’t want me anymore then good luck.” She will intervene again just to keep the city from going into complete chaos. She still cares about the safety of the citizens, she just does not like it when they abandon their trust in her for no good reason. She is not even mad at the villains who cause this. They didn’t force the citizens to dislike Wordgirl, that was their choice.

5. Becky will not often take her dad to jail. She loves her dad and does not like the idea of him not being home (the warehouse; Becky’s living conditions their are like my version of the Becky Boxleitner au, just somewhat better due to her living their all her life.) She also does not like the idea of having to fight him, but has to in order to keep up appearances and not let anyone get suspicious and start suspecting her identity. That being said, she will let Two Brains escape after stoping the crimes depending on the severity. If Two Brains just steals cheese from the grocery store, she may often ignore it (its just cheese and it can easily be replenished). For crimes such as stealing money or turning artwork into cheese, Becky will stop her dad, but later act like he got away (if police are not around. “Two Brains Quartet” still happens because police are there.). Becky may do this sometimes for other villains depending on her or their mood. Citizens and Villains believe that Dr. Two Brains is an extremely tough villain to catch which raises his credibility as Fair City’s #1 villain when Wordgirl does this. Captain Huggy Face is not happy when Wordgirl let’s her dad go, but he deals with it because she cares about her dad. Becky does stand her ground if her dad, and the other villains, do something dangerous that affects the lives of the citizens. Incidents such as the plot to mind control all the city with bunny buttons and the cheesteroid do get Two Brains arrested. (Becky is like, “Sorry dad, but I can’t let you threaten the lives of innocent civilians.”) Since this happens rarely, Becky usually stays at her friends houses until her dad leaves prison. She has a visitor clearance and does visits with her dad when she can. (Still brings him cheese.) Not much interaction with the Botsford family unless they were a focus in episodes.

6. Becky is more aware of when villains act deceitful. (She was raised by one herself.) She pretends to be tricked to let their guard down before turning the tables on them. (She can be tricky and deceitful herself when she wants to be.)

The police force are more competent in this au than in canon. They were able to capture most villains, with exception to Two Brains and other major villains, before Wordgirl came onto the scene. The city was similar to Gotham before Batman showed up. It was fine, but crime rates were still high. The episode “The Wrong Side of the Law” happens differently than canon. Wordgirl is civil and polite to the police, but does really like law enforcement or fully trusts them due to her upbringing by a super villain. (Two Brains taught her she can respect law enforcement because they are capable of doing a good job, it does not mean she has to like them or follow the rules all the time. I sorta think that the villains have some respect for D.A. Sally Botsford because of how she is good at her job.)

Now on to “Normal” girl Becky. Becky is still referred to as Becky Boxleitner. (Dr. Two Brains did not want kids ignoring or making fun of Becky with a last name like Brains, or something mouse related. He wanted people to know and treat his daughter as herself, not just who she is related to. Two Brains also wanted to give Becky some protection so random people wouldn’t bother her because of his actions. So he just gave her his old human name.) Becky is similar to her canon character with a few changes.

1. Becky will empathize with someone if they are feeling upset and hurt. But if they are doing something dumb and stupid, or anything that is concerning to her, she will be upfront and honest with that person (not complete brutal honesty but something like “Please don’t do something stupid, I care about you and your health.”). She isn’t mean, but she is forward and won’t bother to hide feelings if hiding your emotions will only make the situation worse.

2. Both Becky and Wordgirl are sassy like her dad.

3. She is still passionate about words and respects her teachers and main authority figures.

4. Becky is more clever about excuses.

5. She enjoys science more as well as literature. Becky has top grades in her class. (Next to Tobey). She enjoys science fairs and is a bit better at creating workable, and visually acceptable, inventions.

6. Becky likes puns (Two Brains) and knows every fact about cheese as well as every fact about words (again Two Brains’ fault).

7. Becky is still a fan of Pretty Princess, but has ponies, books, and science stuff in her room. She is a bit more tomboyish than canon.

Becky is still friends with Violet in this au. I always viewed Violet’s mom as an open-minded nature women, based on Violet’s character and where they live. She is easily accepting of Becky and Dr. Two Brains despite Two Brains life as a villain. Becky is also forward early on how some of Violet’s traditions make her uncomfortable so there is no issue in the series.

Becky is more a fan of words and science in this au. She and Violet have fun mixing art and science. Becky does not take art classes, but rather is part of after-school science and reading clubs. (She takes science club with Tobey and reading club with Violet.)

Becky is also friends with Tobey in this au. I have nothing against Scoops’ character. I was just more fond of his character development in the episodes during and after he learns Becky’s identity, plus a few before the reveal. (In the early seasons, it seemed that Scoops would do anything for a big story, even as exposing Wordgirl’s identity as Becky. I was upset in that Vocab Bee episode because Scoops did not seem to consider Becky’s input or feeling when he found strong evidence that Becky was Wordgirl. To me it seemed unfair that Becky had to throw her chances at a competition she was having fun in just to protect her identity because of Scoops’ actions and attitude.) Tobey met Becky when they were between 5 and 6. Tobey just lost his dad (up to interpretation on how) and was just lonely. Kids would make fun of Tobey’s nerd-side and some other mean reasons, or they would ignore him. Becky sympathized with Tobey because most kids, not Violet, would avoid her because of her dad. (They would not dare bully her for fear of how Dr. Two Brains would react.) Tobey and Becky easily began to get along and overtime became friends. Claire McCallister was worried about her son hanging out with the child of a villain. But quickly after seeing how Becky was a good kid plus Two Brains being a good dad despite his status, and that her son was happy with friends, she let her worries slide. Claire, Dr. Two Brains, and Violet’s mom, have made an unofficial single parents support group between the three of them. In this au, Tobey does not become a villain, but still builds robots. (I already have a new villain that takes canon Tobey’s role.) Becky and Tobey are silently crushing on each other. Tobey does suspect Becky is Wordgirl, but respects her secret identity and will wait for her to tell him (or a reveal). (Still cares for her anyway.)

Scoops parents are friendly but are strong law-abiding citizens so they avoid Two Brains and Becky. Scoops in this au is nice, but is more concerned on news stories. He originally talks to Becky in hopes of getting an interview with her dad. Scoops is trying not to be inconsiderate, but he is sorta using Becky as a way to get to her dad. Becky deals with this stuff from other reporters and fans of her dad. Neither Dr. Two Brains and Becky like this attention. (Two Brains likes being in the news and in magazines, but he doesn’t like people using his daughter to get to him. Becky is the most important person in his life with cheese being second.) Becky shuts Scoops down after his first few initial attempts. Scoops is disappointed, but he apologizes and doesn’t bother her anymore. Becky is civil and polite to Scoops in this series, but that is about it. There is no crush. (I don’t know if I will keep the Violet x Scoops ship in this au or change it.)

I really like this au along with a few other aus I made up which include an Alliance Swap au. I am going to expand more on this au and the characters later.

#wordgirl au #morally gray au #a becky boxleitner au #with just a Dr. Two Brains dad twist #poor Bob #he has to deal with a good/evil Wordgirl #I just realize I made Becky a little bit like Manny Rivera from El Tigre #That was not my intention but okay then.#wordgirl #oc mention

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nanoland · 3 years

Text

Title: Besyd the scarcety of bread amowngst us

Fandom: Supernatural

Pairing: Crowley/Dean Winchester

Summary: In which Dean asks a question.

Warnings: Crowley being Extremely traumatized and kind of oblivious to that fact + SPN demons being SPN demons (i.e. remorseless bodysnatchers) + Dean being his casually misogynistic self + graphic descriptions of starvation + exhibitionism (sorta?) + sexually explicit content because this was MEANT to be straightforward smut and then Crowley happened, the prick.

Also on AO3!

“So how come you aren’t a hot chick?”

The glass stills an inch from Crowley’s pale lips. “I humbly beg your pardon?”

It’s late. The bar’s quiet. He doesn’t need Dean to repeat himself. Just a moment to decide on a response.

Well on the way to utterly shit-faced, Dean gestures vaguely, meaninglessly. “You offer people stuff. Then, ten years later, you drag ‘em to Hell. And – and they know that’s what’s gonna happen if they make a deal with you. Which means that you gotta be real fuckin’ persuasive. Which you are. Grade A Bullshit Artist and don’t I know it. But... uh, what was I gonna… yeah, wouldn’t it be easier, right, just way easier if you were a hot chick?”

Crowley can tell he’s not done, so he keeps his silver tongue behind his faintly yellowed teeth for the moment.

While Dean is usually delightful company, in his surly, macho way, this evening there’s an uncommonly obnoxious edge to everything he says. That almost certainly means his insecurities over what he’s been letting Crowley do to his arse lately are acting up.

Understandable. Still annoying.

So Crowley’s more than willing to let his favourite human dig himself a wee bit deeper before pouring boiling tar into the pit.

After quickly throwing back the last of his drink, Dean goes on: “Now, I didn’t go to some dickslurp business school. I ain’t that brand of asshole. But I’ve seen enough beer ads in my time to have an idea of how marketing works. You got something you want people to buy? Fastest way is to get a hot chick in a bikini to hold it up. Because guys have most of the money in this shitty world of ours and guys think with their dicks. I know I do. So why did you decide to possess someone who looks like a balding, middle-aged banker going through a stressful divorce? That ain’t enticing. That ain’t capturing anyone’s interest. Y’know?”

“Mm,” says Crowley, and stands up.

“Fuck’re you doing?” Dean slurs, watching him take off his tie.

“Ever heard of the Seven Ill Years, Squirrel?”

“Nope. Seriously, what’re you doing?”

Draping his overcoat over the back of his chair along with his tie, Crowley sets about taking off his jacket. “‘The Seven Ill Years’ refers to a particularly shitty time in early modern Scotland; the 1690s.”

He tugs off his costly leather shoes and places them side-by-side under his chair. “I was in my… early thirties at the time, I think. Thirty-two? Maybe thirty-one. Whatever.”

Dean is gaping now. He’s never seen Crowley without his outer layers, much less the growing slice of exposed chest as Crowley unbuttons his shirt.

“For a lot of complicated reasons relating to oceanic thermohaline circulation, solar activity, and a few ill-timed volcanos, the weather turned rotten. These days, it’s called the Little Ice Age. Us pigshit stupid peasants who lived through it didn’t know anything about all that. All we knew was that it was freezing bloody cold and the crops kept dying.”

“Dude,” Dean hisses, red-faced as Crowley sets his shirt alongside his jacket and overcoat. “Stop it! We’re going to be thrown out!”

“No. Look around. Is anyone paying attention to us? Precisely. We’re invisible to them at the moment, Squirrel. One of my little tricks.”

“Oh. Okay, that’s good. But that’s still not an excuse to take your fucking pants off in public oh my God oh my God!”

They’re expensive pants and Crowley takes care to fold them before putting them down. “To cut a long story short; famine struck. And famine, it’s…”

Crowley pauses, thinking, ignoring Dean’s pathetic attempts not to gawk at his dick.

“It’s hard to describe famine to someone who hasn’t lived through one,” he says eventually. “Language – English, at least – isn’t equipped to convey what it feels like to be so hungry you’ll try to boil and eat someone else’s shoes. Then someone else’s children. Then your own children. There are no words for it. Or, if in some distant corner of our monstrous universe there are, then they’re words that would drive a human raving mad to speak them.”

Naked now but for his black socks, Crowley scratches his stubble. “Sometimes I think that’s why I got on so well in Hell.”

He sits back in his chair. Folds his legs. Taps his fingers on the side of his empty glass. “Don’t get me wrong; having someone cut open your lungs, fill them with scorpions, and sew them up again isn’t fun. But – how can I put this? – you can process it. You can grapple with it. You know why you’re suffering; because you’re in Hell, and that’s what Hell is for. It makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is going about your everyday life and watching all the people around you – the baker, the priest, the prettiest girl in the village – go about theirs while they turn into walking skeletons. And knowing they didn’t do anything to deserve it. Couldn’t have done anything to deserve it, because no crime, no matter how vile, warrants that kind of punishment.”

Dean says nothing.

After a moment, Crowley pulls himself from the dark, sucking well of memory to add, “Anyway, to answer your question; I don’t want to be a hot chick because a. I’m a man and b. hot chicks are skinny, and I will cheerfully burn this world to the ground before I endure living in a hungry body ever again.”

He glances down at his unclothed meat suit and smiles proudly, running a hand up one of its thick thighs. “Also – y’know – I personally think this long-deceased lad of mine is sexy as Hell.”

Gazing at his shoulder, Dean says roughly, “Didn’t know you had tattoos.”

“Oh. Those. Yeah. Can’t stand them. Worst decision the stupid bastard ever made.”

“I think they’re kinda cool.”

“Do you? Well, you do have incredibly bad taste so perhaps that’s not surprising. Now, are you going to get over here and put that erection to good use?”

Oh, bless him; he’s adorable when he squirms.

“Here?” Dean asks, eyes wide.

“Here.”

He says it like a challenge, for Dean can never resist one of those. Immediately, those wide eyes become narrow and determined.

The boy stands. Looms over Crowley, who casually flicks both their glasses to the floor and moves to sit on the cool wooden table. It’s clean, more or less, thanks to Dean (for once) agreeing to follow Crowley to a semi-respectable establishment.

“These hands,” Crowley murmurs, running them across Dean’s broad chest, “don’t have a single callous or scar. See? Soft as butter. Not a single day’s honest work, either of them.”

Dean swallows. Leans in to kiss him, hesitant and gentle.

Contrary to popular belief, Crowley likes gentle. Or, more accurately, Crowley likes being pampered.

He goes on: “And these legs…”

A groan escapes Dean’s lips as one presses up against his crotch.

“…these legs haven’t walked more than ten miles, collectively, since I moved in. No muscles. No blisters on the undersides of their feet. Not so much as a splinter.”

“Jesus,” Dean mumbles, drawing him in and latching onto his neck.

“And this stomach is never empty. Never even close. Never once forced to digest anything that isn’t purely, perfectly delicious. I treat my meat suits better than most people treat their family heirlooms.”

“Crowley. Fuck.”

He squeezes Dean’s arse and growls, “Because this is my reward, Dean. I won this. This softness, this safety. This nurtured, nourished flesh. I endured the seventeenth century and all humanity’s horrors. Endured my mother. Endured Hell. Built myself a reputation and a kingdom. All for this. And isn’t it wonderful? Say that it is, Dean.”

“Yeah,” Dean moans, even though he can’t understand a word; Crowley slipped into Gaelic a while ago.

(The things Crowley wants to tell Dean and the things Crowley wants Dean to know are categories that rarely overlap.)

Crowley takes Dean’s leaking cock in hand.

“Say I’m beautiful.”

Dean’s knees buckle as he whimpers, so Crowley wraps an arm around his narrow, underfed waist.

“Say you love me.”

Dean comes in his palm, gasping and cursing.

“Say you love me more than anyone else.”

“I’m guessing that was all Scottish dirty talk?” says Dean when he has his breath back. “You were – what? Calling me your bitch?”

Crowley smirks, licks the sweat off Dean’s jaw, and gives his backside a pat before reaching for his clothes. “None of your business. Go get me another drink, would you? Ta.”

the end

NOTES: The title is taken from a quote found in Karen Cullen’s ‘Famine in Scotland: the ‘Ill Years’ of the 1690s’ (you can find extracts via googlebooks). Yes, canonically Crowley WOULD have been about thirty when this happened. Just in case his origin story wasn’t horrific enough wheee :D

#drowley #dean winchester #crowley #supernatural #spn crowley #my fic

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heccapeach · 3 years

Text

Since it’s Valentines Day, I guess it’s time for me to share the fictional crushes I’ve had on characters throughout my life:

My Fictional Crushes Throughout History:

Shadow The Hedgehog

Shadow was the first fictional crush that I had as a kid and the one that I can mention at the top of my head with some bravery and expectation of confusion and humiliation from others. I guess after learning of his existence in Sonic Riders (my first Sonic game) and onwards into the Sonic series (and a bit of Smash), I started to develop a crush on Shadow thanks to his design and personality after learning more and more about him. I believe that his portrayal in Sonic X especially had an effect. I mean, I wasn’t the only one to have a fictional crush on Shadow, considering how many fan girls he’s had over the years.

Mephiles The Dark

And then after Shadow, I eventually developed a fictional crush on Mephiles from Sonic ‘06. I believe I was 12 or 13 at the time that I did. I’d say this one is even weirder than the Shadow crush. But if it wasn’t for my interest in Mephiles and well, Solaris as a whole, I probably wouldn’t have discover my interests in the sources that beings like Solaris is based off of, like biblical mythology and other forms of mythology, space-time itself, and the sun and the moon. Therefore, they have been an important and influential character to me as unique as that may be to others. Delving more into Solaris in ‘06, I started to believe that he wasn’t the true villain of Sonic ‘06 as he was an entity whose power was being misused in the wrong hands of a very desperate and selfish human. That being the Duke of Soleanna, who wanted to save his wife from whatever presumed death that she had by harnessing Solaris’ power over time itself and even find a way to give humanity the power of time-travel in order to correct their past mistakes which mind you, is a bullshit and an absolutely dangerous, selfish, and idiotic idea. Perhaps one of the worst ideas I have ever heard in my life. Humanity absolutely does not deserve to be in possession of such abilities at all, PERIOD. Imagine all the recklessness, greed, bickering, fights, and just flat-out stupidity. Ugh, you’re just giving humanity the ability to not only make more mistakes, but potentially worsen their past mistakes. LIKE, WHAT THE HELL WAS HE THINKING?!?! I mean, when you learn that, it’s absolutely no fucking wonder why Solaris got all pissed and went batshit crazy throughout space-time. I mean, I would’ve too if some fucking idiot tampered with my power and form like that. And it didn’t help that Eggman was obliviously trying to repeat the same stupid action that the Duke did. I swear mad scientists tend to be the true evil and the creator of evil in existence. They’re one of the archetypes that do a great job at pissing me off. Well, they’re not called “mad” for nothing.

Solaris is just a misunderstood entity who just needed better guidance and treatment in existence. It’s why I even imagined the possibility of Solaris being saved and given a better chance towards redemption and understanding. After their backstory, I felt so sympathetic towards them as a character. Sure, Mephiles plan could’ve made more sense in the script by being less convoluted and more simple in the script alongside the time-travel plot itself, but we can’t forget that ‘06 was indeed rushed in development so it’s no surprise that writing for the game’s story was also rushed and didn’t have enough time for some scenes and decisions to be reconsidered.

But regardless, Solaris holds a special place in my heart and the inspiration they have given me has been a gift. So even if they’re outside of the existence of the Sonic universe, I shall never forget about them.

Crazy Hand

There was a time where I got really interested in Master Hand and Crazy Hand from Super Smash Bros. After discovering Crazy Hand’s existence in Melee, I suddenly started watching more videos featuring him and Master Hand, even if it was the same few videos. Like I was deeply analyzing the two hands in action. I was so fascinated, yet pretty intimidated by them. I believe that Crazy Hand had fascinated me the most, given the way of how he parallels Master Hand and his personality. Then all of a sudden, I started crushing on him...How utterly weird of me to be crushing on a giant floating disembodied hand of chaos and destruction....

Daxter

Daxter was my top favorite character of the Jak and Daxter series. Not to mention how much the series is a childhood icon to me. I also loved the design of ottsels/precursors. It inspired me in terms of anthro designs. I know, I’m pretty much a furry at this point with these crushes. I guess that I can now relate to Tess, who eventually became an ottsel/precursor just to officially be Daxter’s girlfriend.

Joker (P5)

Back when he was announced to be included as a fighter for Smash Ultimate. It was my first exposure to Joker and Persona 5 itself. And back when his Smash fighter self was still in development, I felt interested enough to research Joker then eventually look into Persona 5. I started to adore his design and silent protagonist self. His fluffy looking hair, glasses, phantom thief design, and personality, and that smile made me develop a crush on him. He’s pretty much the only fictional human character that I had a crush on out of all the crushes here and that’s saying something.

A Fan-made Genderbend Waifu Nightmare From Kirby

Okay....how the hell do I explain this..? So back when I had a peak interest (and fear) in one of the most underrated Kirby characters and final bosses, Nightmare, I looked up fan art of him and discovered this sorta genderbend waifu interpretation of him on the Internet. I was interested in the design, enough to make an original character of mine have their design inspired off of it and that’s mainly where my crush was targeted on. Knowing that this had to do with Nightmare from Kirby of all characters, this is perhaps the weirdest and most embarrassing crush of them all. This would just be the beginning of me getting invested into oneiric (dream) characters.

NiGHTS

When I was starting to really invest into the NiGHTS universe and NiGHTS themselves, I started to appreciate their design and personality to the point where I found it attractive and relatable at times. This crush hasn’t been a constant nor lasting one though, so I see it as a small crush instead.

Wizeman and My Own Fan-made Gender Bend Waifu Parallel of Him, “Wize-Chan”

Ah jeez, here we go again. So, um, like Nightmare, I had a notable interest in Wizeman as a character and was also greatly intimidated by them at the same time. I eventually started thinking that he was a bit cute in the first game. Seriously, why I do I eventually develop crushes on the same characters that I get scared of? Am I a psychological masochist or have Stockholm Syndrome or something? In order to ease my fear, I made the jokes on this platform on Wizeman and the other NiGHTS characters. Sometimes, fear can be a great motivator and that already scares me alone. One of those jokes involved redesigning Wizeman as a Waifu named “Wize-Chan”:

When humanizing the design, I wanted to maintain the surrealism of Wizeman’s design, so I made sure not to humanize it too much. That’s why the shadowy legs are phantom-like and the robe acts more like a cloak than a robe with a presumed shadowy phantom body underneath. Probably think of it how Darkrai from Pokémon has these slim legs that it can make to stand on something. Idk. Jokes aside, I felt that this was an embarrassing thing to make. But recently, I’ve looked back on the design and I started to develop a fondness over it. She was just too adorable to ignore. It motivated me to draw more of her and establish a personality. She still maintains Wizeman’s personality and god complex, but with a tsundere touch to it. She also uses the insult “degenerate” occasionally since I imagined Wizeman in Journey of Dreams using it. (Example: “Eh? You want me to step on you? Ugh, DEGENERATE.”) She can get accused of being a furry, but she gets offended and denies it. There’s never a place for violence in a relationship, but Wize-Chan differs. I suppose Wize-Chan here can be compared to Bowsette, since it’s taking a villain and turning them into a Waifu character. You could look at it that way if you wanted to. Wize-Chan also likes to bully Owl whenever she gets the chance.

Speaking of Owl, I recently designed a Waifu form of him—

Arceus

Just a little bit. It was a minor crush. Afterwards I changed my mind and started seeing them as a mother figure instead. I like to refer to them as “mom”, “mommy”, “Mama Llama”, "o-ka'a-san" (Japanese for mom), and “Mother”. Arceus just naturally feels like a mother figure to me, as weird as that sounds. I mean, it makes sense, considering that they’re Pokémon God and God is always interpreted as referring to his creations as his children. That’s been interpreted the same for Arceus. I mean, it’s okay for your mother or father to be your valentine, right? That, and why am I so invested in creator entities/deities so much?

So over the years, I’ve had fictional crushes on 1 anthropomorphic artificial hedgehog with alien DNA, an anthropomorphic otter and weasel hybrid that also belongs to a race of ancient beings that run the universe as its god, a sun god of time, a giant floating disembodied hand that’s the destructive god of the Smash universe, Pokémon God itself until I started seeing it as my Pokémon mother, a Waifu form of a personification of nightmares, a disobedient nightmaren then eventually just their creator as well as a Waifu parallel of him, and 1 human..huh.

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diazpoems · 3 years

Text

Me watching Riverdale, Episode 2:

Why’s Betty so upset??? Did I miss something??? Sometimes people just don’t like each other that way and Archie has no obligation to her and besties code is fucking stupid so she shouldn’t be sensibly mad at Veronica either

Not the scene where Jughead’s narrating and does the flashback and Jason passes and it’s suitably queercoded

Ewwww Archie and the teacher

Can you shut the fuck up, Betty’s mom. Unless there’s more significant history behind this I don’t wanna hear it. If you were bullied by the Blossoms I could give a fuck, you’re still wearing pearls, I think you’re fine

Brooo jughead is me. Fuck PE

“ARE WE SURE ARCHIE IS STRAIGHT”

I’m still a little concerned. I sorta ship Jughead with Archie but I don’t want to stomp over his aroace identity.

Bro they weren’t together stop apologizing Veronica. She has no claim on him. Yeah you tried to push them together but what happened happened get the fuck over it

Oh no this town is small enough to have a sheriff

If Archie and the teacher came forward about what happened on the fourth then... idk. Maybe it’s because of the repercussions for Archie but I’m fine with her getting arrested because fucking GROSS

Hmmm yeah I’m with jughead what happened arch??? 🤨

Oh no what’s up with Kev and the closet case

Yeah. I don’t blame people for being closeted if that’s where they feel most comfortable but it’s hard to date a closeted person

ARE YOU OKAY YOU STONE COLD BITCH

I’m just happy archies more than a set of abs

His voice is kinda weird for his body... is that just me??? He just sounds different than I expected

BETTY ITS NOT THAT DEEP HE JUST DOESNT LIKE YOU

SERIOUSLY AM I MISSING SOMETHING

BETTY SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP LIFE FUCKING HAPPENS GET OVER IT

Oop, Archie got fucking caught

This is unhealthy Archie please get the fuck away from her. I know it’s not that easy but please this isn’t good it’s not real, don’t kiss her, this is wrong as fuck

Yes Jughead please snoop

Okay but um cheryl looks pretty

OH MY GOD STOP BEING A FUCKING BITCH BETTY. STOP IT. YOURE FUCKING STUPID. ITS NOT HER FAULT YOUR FRIENDSHIP IS FUCKED. ITS YOURS. YOURE MAKING IT SUCH A BIG DEAL. I ALREADY HAD TO DEAL WITH THIS IN MIDDLE SCHOOL I DONT NEED THIS NONSENSE AGAIN. USE YOUR HEAD.

I started out anticipating hating Veronica but she’s the only one besides Jughead and Archie I find moderately tolerable

Varchie has nice chemistry.

Ohhhh so he kissed her when they were little. Still doesn’t change how annoying she’s being

Oh god oh god Cheryl sitting in front of Betty and doing her makeup oh god oh god I’m gay that’s some sapphic shit

Speaking of mean alpha bitch sapphics that I’ll probably end up love-hating she reminds me of Carrie from jatp

I think Cheryl might have a legitimate disorder. I’m not kidding or trying to be mean. I think it might be a possibility

Not jealous Jughead but also Jughead trying to explain that this is fucking stupid.

SHES A LITERAL FUCKING COUGAR. HE. IS. RIGHT. THIS IS PREDATORY

Breakup vibes. I mean I hate to reduce it to that but that’s how it feels.

My new favorite character is Jughead. I relate to him so much

Betty’s mom is probably Christian huh.

Alice can you fucking stop

Yay!!! They’re making up and Betty is admitting she was dumb!!!

Off topic but I’m super hungry my tummy hurts :(

Can you shut up Reggie. And you never responded so I’m going to have to assume you can’t spell necrophilia

YES PROTECT HIM ARCHIE

I’m staying up late watching this cause I’m sick and I can’t get to sleep. I’m miserable lmao

I like Kevin

The way Archie looks over at Jughead and he looks away

This is so... gay.

“We’re not gonna hug in front of this whole town!”

The way his gaze lingers on Jughead as he steps back, and then he looks over his shoulder in the next shot

What state is Riverdale in

That is some of the baddest fucking twerking I’ve ever seen, not that I see that on the regular, but I have no idea what that is lmao

That song was a bop tho

Huh, upstate New York I guess

Cheryl’s got ✨trauma✨

Okay I actually understand Cheryl’s loss. Like not precisely. But that’s what you think. When it hits you, it hits you hard. “They’re gone” “They were supposed to come back” “Why aren’t they here” I find that pretty authentic

Okay okay I can start liking Betty again I’ll forgive her this time

Not Archie walking in with Jughead and it suddenly hitting me like “they look like a couple”

I love Jugheads voice. I don’t think it’s because there’s anything necessarily remarkable about it but it’s just nice

“The luckiest redheaded boy in the universe” please????? 🥺

#she speaks #riverdale #long post

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evonymus · 4 years

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Deadly Premonition 2

Everything I write here is just my opinion. I don't try to represent someone else's thoughts and feelings. I fully understand that tastes differ and things I dislike may be enjoyed by others and vice versa. By writing this I don't try to attack anyone who has different opinion about the game. This text will have spoilers, so don’t read it if you haven’t beaten the game yet. It’s a lot of rambling that is not really structurized or anything, just a big collection of thoughts. Strong language is used.

Gameplay-wise the game seemed pretty meh. I fully realize it may feel very different if you actually play it instead of watching, the feeling of completion, getting stuff done and all that sorta thing. Still, the majority of game seems like a shit-ton of donkey work. Side missions are a very mixed bag. Sometimes they feel like the ones in the 1st game when you need to talk to someone or get an item for them, those ones are ok. However, there's a lot of grinding which you'd expect from an mmorpg, nor a murder mystery. As for the main missions, this is where one of my biggest problems with the game comes in. The first game was all about investigation. Go to the case-related place and investigate it, examine the corpse, talk to witnesses, follow your new lead and so on. It felt like a real investigation. Sure, York did rely on supernatural to solve it, but it was like twice in the entire game (fishing the docs from the waterfall thanks to the cup and going to Harry because the newspaper told him to. I don't count FK in the coffee since it's not much of a clue, just foreshadowing). He only used it because with Nick getting arrested he had no other clues what to do next. It sure felt a bit weird but...understandable? In the 2nd game, however, there's no real investigation going on. All York does is just blindly following oracles and hope that something good will come out of it and there will be progress. And there is because MAGIC! We used to be a competent FBI agent, now it turns out we're only successful because MAGIC! Zach even blatantly admits he has left FBI because he doesn’t get MAGIC HINTS anymore. For me it's a massive let-down. Also, since there's little logical reasoning behind many main missions, they feel super-meh as well. Oh, hey, it's an important person, can't wait to meet and question them! Waaaait-wait-wait-wait, you've got a collectathon in front of you that makes no sense in general but still will move your investigation forward because MAGIC! (Yes, I'm stil bitter and angry as fuck at those stupid drums that do nothing). The thing is, I totally understand why the developers felt it was perfectly normal to make the game this way. The reason behind it is called LOL WACKY. DP gained fame as being a bizarre and wacky game, which to my mind is pretty unfair. It had its moments, sure, but that's what's made it special - just the right balance of "sane" and "insane". Unfortunately, due to its reputation the developers got the wrong message and stopped bothering to make things coherent. "Who cares if something doesn't make sense, it's WACKY and that's exactly what fans want!" Big fat nope. I don't mind a bit of silliness in games, however this game goes far beyond "a bit". The same goes for the characters. Sorry, LOL ZANY characters, another DP1 (not really) staple. DP2 doesn't have as many really quirky people as the 1st game does but man they felt forced and annoying, from their overall shticks to speech patterns. There are characters from DP1 I dislike, but I dislike them for being dicks in general. DP2 characters though I hate from the bottom of my heart for how goddamn irritating they are. I'm sorry, maybe I got old or something, but I really don't think that a concept of a guy refusing to wear clothes is funny. He feels forced as fuck. Just as the guy who has adopted several personas just for lulz (I might be wrong on David, perhaps it is stated in the game that he really has split personality. It won't change anything much though). People in DP1 felt like real people, someone you could meet in real life. Sure, you can meet a guy wearing nothing but his boots, briefs and a hat irl as well, but somehow I doubt it'll be a pleasant acquaintance or, at least, won’t make you question his mental state. Also, don't even get me started on Simon. I literally hated every second of him on the screen. Cartoonish characters were my biggest concern after D4 and boy I was right to worry about that. Also, you don't get to really know people, especially the important ones, so when stuff happens, it barely has any effect on you. Remember how DP1 made you stick with all the main cast for pretty much the entirety of the game, so they felt like family and the end-game literally torn your soul apart? DP2 doesn't even try to get close to that, except for Patricia, but the emotional impact of the ending is nowhere near. The way people talk in the game is atrocious. It often feels like an amateur play written by someone overestimating their writing abilities way too often (talk with Lena in the bar is a good example of what I mean here). Which is a darn shame since there's nothing like that in the 1st game where pretty much all the dialogues were coherent. When thoughts like "That sounds dumb", "That makes no sense" and “That’s not how people talk” are swirling in your mind almost non-stop, that's not a good sign. The directing also seemed to degrade a bit. While there were some scenes in the original, that raised eyebrows and concerns, this game feels more like something of Spy Fiction era. Someone please inform Swery that making someone to look at the rotating screen for too long doesn't make them think "Oh, that's neat!", it makes them wanna puke. There are two little parts that I remember really well: 1) the shot of Patti's mouth when she's tempted to touch a red tree that goes for like 15 seconds while she's making strange noises; 2) That moment when Zach is dreaming about Kaysen, specifically, when he starts screaming and shooting. That frame starts with Zach already screaming and honestly it made me giggle with how silly it looks. Certainly that was not the intended player's reaction. This whole part might seem like nit-picking, but it really rubbed me the wrong way.

As for the plot, Le Carre part felt so-so and rushed with main missions mostly being a flop and major characters dropping like flies. Rest in peace, *character_name, we hardly knew ye. (Also, what the fucking FUCK was that part with an alligator tearing off Danny's hand? If that was a red herring, that was the dumbest fucking red herring I've seen in my entire goddamn life). Also, as a side-note, let me make a little confession here: I'm fucking dumb. I'm dumb as a rock. I can never guess anything, being oblivious to obvious things. Still, I suspected Avery from the very beginning due to his heights and as soon as Lena said the drug changes people's physical properties I was convinced he had been involved. Welp, guess what. Sadly, solving this little riddle has brought me no joy. The ending though... Honestly, I don't even want to give any sort of analysis to it. Just thinking about it makes me mad. All I can say is that it was one of the dumbest, most melodramatic, crappy anime-esque endings I've ever seen. And trust me, I've seen some shit, I've beaten MGS4. I could never expect that someone who has wrote DP1 could write something as ridiculous as that. It was so dumb it wasn’t even funny. "Everything was very bad but then FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC happened and everyone lived happily ever after BECAUSE MAGIC!" That's how fanfiction is written. That’s some AU shit a desperate fan could cobble together. I am fully aware there's a lot of people who are really into this exact sort of stuff. As for me, it makes my skin crawl so fucking much it has probably reached Spain by now. All in all, DP2 is a terrible disappointment. The only real up-side of it is that it has reminded me how good the first game was.

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mythicvls · 4 years

Text

WHAT’S CRACK’A’LACKIN Y'ALL ?!?! my name’s sun AND i live in the cst time zone. ( T E X A S BBY 🤠 ) i hope ya’ll are all having a good day, afternoon, night !! whatever time it may be where you are out there in the WORLD. sorry i’m a bit late but i’m super excited to get this show on a roll. <3333 . i suck at intros, so pls bear with me., buuuuut !! i’ll be introducing, brianna and leo . one is your crazy inventor who works in the forge, and the other is your uptight hero who is obsessed with doing everything by the book. if you wanna know more about them, check out what’s below !! like this and i’ll go to your messages to spam u with love. THANKS .

♡ —— MEET BRIANNA !!

[ PARK CHAEYOUNG, SHE/HER, CISFEMALE ] — [ BRIANNA BANG ] is a child of [ HEPHAESTUS ] with the power of [ TECHNOKINESIS & ENHANCED CRAFTING ] . they were born in [ 1997 ] and have been in nemean lion since [ 2013 ] . with the change, they [ HAVE GRADUATED FROM ] the [ TECHNOLOGY ] role which makes sense since they’re usually [ CREATING NEW GADGETS & GETTING OTHERS TO TEST THEM OUT ]

( ABOUT PAGE )

its ya girl , brianna bora bang !! aka bree !! daughter of hephaestus and one of the smiths who works in the forge .

growing up, bree’s childhood was relatively calm and uneventful. she was raised by her single-mother, who worked as a mechanic and though they didn’t have much , her mom still managed to get by , supporting them both the best she could. :’))

tbh, bree didn’t think a lot about her family’s financial situation when she was little. though, with that said, she was a bit of a pain.

not because she asked for, or constantly wanted material things, but rather, from a young age she had a knack for taking stuff apart and trying to put them back together again. fascinated by figuring out how certain devices worked.

that habit eventually turned into bree taking things around the house, and makings ‘ improvements’ or crafting something completely new with the different parts she’d collected from items lying about.

her mother living pay check to paycheck , was certainly in awe of brianna’s talents, but the young girl’s creative outlet definitely caused some strESS !!

as one can imagine, she got in a lot of trouble as a kid. having a bit of a mischievous streak coupled along with her curious and imaginative tendencies. her mom wasn’t too happy when she came home to find the vacuum deconstructed , with brianna claiming there was a certain component she needed for the jet pack she was planning on creating

throughout her life, bree was always gathering attention, whether is was due to her odd personality, or the things she was creating. however she was especially attracting people’s attention when it came to the science fairs she enjoyed participating in while she’d been in elementary and middle school --- bringing something completely unexpected to ANNIHILATE ( as she would say ) the competition.

but, brianna created so much buzz, it wasn’t uncommon for her to end up in local news papers as a young ‘genuis’.

one time, even recruits from MIT came to check out to see what all the talk had been about.

when expressing their interest in her, her mother politely declined their offers. thinking bree may have been too young to consider making decisions like that at the time.

[ yet, because of the news circulating bree, nl had been another group to approach her mom, along with hephaestus in hopes to provide brianna a safe haven from the potential threat of monsters (etc.), though her mother also refused that offer at the time ]

SO basically, bree just vibed through her early years creating a bit of mischief and making cool stuff with her handy dandy tool box ( or more like her mom’s tool box lmfao)

she went about every day life as a regular kid, completely unaware of her relation to hephaestus until she neared the age of sixteen.

as she got a bit older, her mother fell in love with a pretty well-off guy who worked as an developmental engineer for the united states milt.. they got married and brianna then had a new step father in her life. despite him being much more strict with her. more than what her mom had ever been , they all got along pretty well. more than anything , bree was jus happy for her mom.

and, it was a plus that they weren’t struggling as much as they originally had been thanks to his financial help.

however, due to an unfortunate turn of events , and a christmas tree having caught fire; their house burnt down. her mom and her stepfather were rescued by the fire department. unfortunately the same couldn’t be said for bree. watching the house engulfed in flames, they worried frantically about their daughter who’d still been trapped inside. but when bree had escaped through the fire by herself , uninjured and not suffering any burns whats so ever. her step-father , along with the fire fighters that had come to help , were hELLA FREAKED OUT.

her step-dad was straight up like, i don’t fuk w demons.

and it was after the incident that her mother finally revealed the truth to bree about her biological father, and eventually gave her the option of going to nemean lion. which was information brianna’s mom had for quite some time, but had chosen to keep it to herself , simply cause she wasn’t 100% comfortable with bree leaving her so young.

THANK GOODNESS THEY NEVER EXPERIENCED A MONSTER ATTACK.

though with what had happened, and her step father’s reaction, bree and her mother came to the agreement that it was probably best if she left for nl.

she eventually moved in after a couple months of trying to make things work at home ( a compromise she made with her mom ). it didn’t work out sadly, and as soon as she turned sixteen, brianna became an official resident at the hotel. having stayed at nemean until now !!

when she first got to nl she pretty much just embraced the change. throwing herself into training and what not, trying to figure out where her place was , all that teenage stuff. ‘tryina find urself uwu’ .

AND she did go on missions quite a bit before the change happened !! having enjoyed tagging along to make some extra money, but her obvious calling was always at the forge.

brianna now and before, has always had a reputation for walking around nl trying to convince people to give her latest weapons or gadgets a go !!

before the change happened at nl, bree was sorta all over the place. ( A MESS !! ) but her goals have become more focused thanks to entering the technology track. so once again, she embraced change with open arms.

she’s totally digging the improvement that nemean lion has made.

after graduating from her track relatively fast; working on stuff is what she mainly does nowadays.

she’s most often found at the forge. cause when she gets an idea, she’s gotta get it done. she has no chill.

yeah, brianna is smart. but on the highkey, she’s only really knowledgeable in her field of expertise.

SO, SHE DOES HAVE THAT CHAOTIC STUPID ENERGY COURSING THROUGH HER VEINS. if you ask her to do something dumb, she more then likely is gonna be down / say yes. skdjlfsjd

though bree isn’t necessarily materialistic, she is kinda obsessed with money, and making money. $$$$🤑🤑 part of it has to do with not having had much growing up, and she wants that security YA KNO. but also , she doesn’t feel totally comfortable asking her mom/step-dad for money. so she out here making her own!!

money is a big motivator for her.

overall, brianna is a brash, outgoing, oddball who is incredibly determined and hardworking.

cause she’s always tryina get that promo, she can come off a bit opportunistic, selfish, and conceited when it comes to her inventions. typically she means well, she’s just a bit on the crazy side.

she has those mad scientist vibes.

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS !!

first friend brianna made at nl ( someone who was around in 2013 )

people she often trained with / went on missions with before the change happened

friends she’s known for a while here at nemean lion

loyal customers who commission weapons ( etc.) from her regularly. cause she likes you, she’s always down to give you a good deal.

double trouble --- just two chaotic souls, come together to do fun shenanigans.

other people who work at the forge with her

brianna’s go to guinea pigs !! basically she goes to ya’ll when she comes up with a spicey new gadget, weapon, invention, knowing ya’ll are almost always game to get your hands on what she’s got for you.

impulse control --- pretty self explanatory, this person just settles her down. probably a mom friend who keeps her from doing dumb impulsive things.

people she just bothers bc she’s got a cool idea for you, but maybe you’re just like nah.

this person has been on the end of one of brianna’s failed inventions that didn’t turn out so hot. so now you REFUSE to try anything for her again.

people in the ambassador track she is constantly trying to get seen with her gadgets for that promo. she really wants to sell her inventions / sell her patents to big companies. $$

exes !! maybe there was DRAMA, or maybe it was a super chill split. if you wanna snatch this up, we can really do whatever ur vibin’.

enemies

frenemies

a mentor when she first arrived at nl ( someone who was around in 2013 ) they really helped her have an easier time adjusting to everything when she moved in at sixteen.

♡ —— MEET LEO !!

[ KIM DOYOUNG, HE/HIM, CISMALE ] — [ LEO PARK ] is a child of [ ATHENA ] with the power of [ ENHANCED OBSERVING & ENHANCED STRATEGY ] . they were born in [ 1996 ] and have been in nemean lion since [ 2011 ] . with the change, they [ HAVE GRADUATED FROM ] the [ HERO ] role which makes sense since they’re usually [ TRAINING or READING IN THE LIBRARY ]

( ABOUT PAGE )

the son of athena, and a graduate from the hero track !!

honestly, leo’s life before nl was pretty boring.

he grew up in a super small town and was raised by his grandparents after his dad pretty much bailed .

leo was an incredibly bright kid. he learned to read as well as write at a crazy young age, but because he was brought up by his grandparents his taste pretty much reflected his upbringing. he likes super old music, movies. etc. and he’ prefers considerably less exciting pass times such as reading books or playing games like chess. he always goes for a walk super early in the morning too which is something he picked up from his grandpa.

leo’s grandparents took care him when he was very little, but as leo grew older he found himself returning the favor and instead helping his grandparents as they themselves aged over the years.

no one in his household was aware of leo’s ties to his biological mother athena. mainly cause his father never explained anything before he left the family to be on their own.

leo’s life dramatically changed after he experienced a monster attack when he’d been fifteen years old.

basically some demigods from nemean lion saved the day and thankfully nothing terrible happened. but leo’s identity as a demigod was finally exposed to himself and to his family.

he had a really hard time saying goodbye, as he worried how his grandma and grandpa were gonna do without him. however, he feared putting them in danger above all else.

he was then taken to nl, where he spent his time up until now.

after he was rescued, leo couldn’t help but look up to the others who regularly went on missions and hunted monsters. naturally, he worked hard with the aspiration to be like them.

a lot of that also had to do with why he picked the hero track when the change had come about at nl.

if it wasn’t for moving, leo would have never realized his supernatural abilities. and it was through persistence and intense training that he was able to develop his powers over time, as well as pretty fast.

he has always been incredibly dedicated and disciplined.

tbh he kinda has those old man vibes, even when he first arrived at fifteen.

he takes missions and everything a little too seriously.

he doesn’t really know how to have fun either. so when he is on hero duty, he is super STUBBORN about doing everything by the book. trying not to get too crazy and always wanting to make sure extra precaution is taken.

he’s not about them risk. he really wants to ensure that there’s little to no damage that will be done if he can help it.

comes off grumpy most of the time, but it’s like 95% bc he kinda just sucks when it comes to people.

social interaction is not his thing which is why he could have NEVER gone into the ambassador track lmfao.

LEO IS A RULE FOLLOWER, NOT A BREAKER.

though he’s diligent, responsible and honest, he can also be EXTREMELY gullible, too straightforward, and at times, come off as nagging or bossy.

overall, he just wants justice, and to ensure things are done right. but he’s not the best communicator, so instead of being diplomatic about it, a lot of the time he’s just like, ‘i’m right, you’re wrong’dkjsldjf

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS !!

people leo has known or been friends with for a while

other demigods who he used to train with or currently trains with regularly

( friendly ?? ) competition --- likely another hero who has graduated from the hero track

someone currently training in the hero track who has asked to shadow leo ( BONUS POINTS IF THEY ARE CHAOTIC AND LEO IS DESPERATELY TRYING TO WRANGLE THEM IN FROM THEIR WILD WAYS, ESPECIALLY WHILE THEY ARE OUT DOING HERO TINGZ )

the demigods who saved leo when he was fifteen ( someone who was around nl in 2011 / before )

unexpected duo----no one would have thought these two would be super close. after all, they are polar opposites, but this person gets leo to come out of his shell

leo is super uptight, and because of that, this person enjoys messing with him.

another person that frequents library just as much as him

maybe leo lowkey has beef with someone because every time he wants to check out a book, the mysterious person ‘insert muses name’ always has checked it out before him. one day when he’s talking about it, he finds out it’s YOU!!!!!!! how it plays out is up to whatever u’re feelin. but turns out they have the same taste in books.

other people that are also uptight like leo and that’s why they get along so well

enemies---for whatever reason the two don’t mix

someone leo has an unrequited crush on , bc he’s lame

#nlintro #・⨯˚ 💖 ooc ⤻ 𝘪 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘤𝘰𝘸𝘣𝘰𝘺 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺 .#this is kind of a mess #im also sorry this got heLLA LONG!!!!!!#but i'm super excited yalll #pls excuss all my typos its very late where i am #uwu <3333

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sweeneyxlaura · 5 years

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also about laura and her feelings and her personal issues even before she died, i think realistically if she were to end up with sweeney he is that something more, someone not even human, not mundane which is what drove her to the mistakes she made, he actually is someone she can have fun with, she is the kind of person who isn't satisfied with an average life the way shadow would be, and neither is sweeney, imo he is great for her and deep down she feels it too, while she softens him up

I couldn’t agree more, anon. In a lot of ways, Sweeney is the perfect sparring partner for Laura, and specifically in ways that contrast her chemistry with Shadow. And it’s not a way to say that Sweeney’s *better* than Shadow AT ALL, but more so that Sweeney’s a better partner for Laura.

And ultimately, it *is* all about Laura and how the two guys relate to her. When Laura first meets Shadow, she’s obviously piqued by his ‘con man’ vibes. He’s interesting and attractive to her because it’s sorta in opposition to her own boring ass life. Only, the more she gets to know Shadow, the more she discovers he’s actually not this thrill-seeker, bad boy type and more the type that her mother would probably love. Adding to this is how Shadow actually doesn’t really know her and her shortcomings (or doesn’t seem to notice) and because of this, he props her up unconditionally, even as going so far as committing a crime just to make her happy.

Like…bruh.

And the thing that isn’t talked about often enough, IMO (and certainly not by those who superficially choose to view Laura as nothing but human scum for cheating on Shadow) is how Shadow’s anointing of her as this beautiful paragon he would do anything for, created this miasma of unhappiness in Laura’s world, and how suffocating it was for her to keep up that pleasant status quo. She was dissociative before she met Shadow and being married to him did nothing to change that, except heap on more responsibilities to be…er, responsible….and present in the marriage.

People are never just one thing…and if you’ve never been in a relationship where you’ve never argued about things or saw the other person do or say something that made you question your participation in the relationship, then something’s wrong there. And I guess Shadow never looked too closely to spot what Sweeney picked up just knowing her for, like, a day – that Laura can be selfish. That’s not his fault, really - he was just too enamored. And it’s not necessarily her fault either - I just think they were never a great match to begin with.

Enter Sweeney. And as with Shadow, she’s also fascinated by Sweeney from the moment he busts down her door without so much as a hello.

^ You cannot tell me that she doesn’t want to climb that man like a tree right there. She’s at least thinking about it, ok?

[gif credit to @koortega!]

In addition to all the things you’ve already mentioned, I like that he never hesitates call her out on her BS, how he openly grumbles about her ideas, or shines the spotlight on her selfish behavior. Stuff that Shadow never did! Even in their last argument in New Orleans, Sweeney calls her a “cunt”, ignoring the fact that Laura HAAATES that word, especially directed at her, and yet he still does it. Why? Because he’s mad enough at her to not give a fuck, to piss her off and because, in his mind, she really is being a “stupid cunt”. He’s keeping it 100 at all times, for the most part. And I guess that’s pretty much the thing in a nutshell - he’s not afraid to get in there, get his hands dirty and piss her off. And neither is she.

To me, this is really why Sweeney and Laura pair so well together - neither have the time for social niceties, neither of them feel the need to apologize for their shortcomings and both see each other for what they are because neither of them ever gave the other the impression that they were anything but lowly, desperate and embittered people.

Which, ofc, works because all of that emotional honesty is then right there on the surface. And in its own grounded/gritty way, it’s “romantic” to boot. They’re the BEST. :)

#madwife #mad sweeney #laura moon #ask #anon #**#:)#meta

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worstfruit · 5 years

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BEASTMASTER

playing with names. zh'ang, bastardization of the romanization OF a translation meaning warsong, but i was just trying to find something that could sound gith so that doesnt really matter! he never goes by this tho, as his subordinates just call him master, sir, or boss. i think he would be very private about his life before joining a company (one i havent plotted out yet, though i like the idea of whatever mercenary crew he’s apart of following the idea of using assigned nicknames or titles in place of true names, even amongst the non-magic users, just for their safety or rather the integrity of the company so that their private information can’t easily be used against them).

yiz'shi, same bastard deal, this time im thinking beastmaster could be something he gained before joining a company and he just translated it to common. im not sure if the gith would have a need of surnames. i assume they’d be like uh ‘conan the brave’ or whatever, a sort of similar idea i’ve establish for my goblins where their surnames are based on trade and can changed based off merit, and their first names are given after a personality begins to appear. i think gith may be given names, then a ‘the brave’ or ‘unholy’ may follow depending on how they choose to live their life.

zizshangi --> yizshangi --> some sort of mix between warsong/beastmaster. perhaps his true name is obscured and not even his minions know it!

im thinking he will be a shadow monk who uses his telepathy to rise in the ranks! i dont like multiclassing but i also really want to incorporate aspects of a whisper bard into this character or at least one of his underlings. i think after coming out of slavery under some mindflayers, he joins the company that frees him and starts using his monk training from the astral plane to...not convert, but to translate into the way of shadows. he would recruit the help of those who others overlook, such as kenku, kobolds, gnolls, and goblins. he’s very quiet, very observant, wears a mask often and even when he doesn’t he pretty much as a complete poker face. He chooses his words carefully but does relax around those he knows/trusts, and has a sort of dry sense of humor. Despite his psionic abiliities he’s sort of like, an idiot socially and can’t actually read people all that well. he relies on his extrasensory input and Maud (explained below) to navigate relations mostly. I’m not too sure what he looks like yet! I do want him to have the sort of vaguely asianic features a lot of githzerai have however, and i have a monk outfit in mind based off some Absolver outfits. He’s worked his way up in company rank enough to become a sort of espionage expert within the troops! This has earned the ire of some other company members, but for the most part i think this mercenary group would be pretty civil and view each other as respected associates and comrades.

His main crew consists of two kenu, two goblins, and a tabaxi. He’s known the tabaxi longest-- im thinking she was also an underling in the company who helped him get back on his feet when they picked him up. She was a teen looking to hone her skills as a rogue and he helped her learn the art of stepping lightly and always keeping an ear to the ground. Looking at tabaxi names I’m thinking she probably has some dumbass one like ‘quick of paw’ but they just started calling her Maraud, which turned into Maud LOL. She’s all black and has short, sleek, shiny fur, brownish/maroon irises, pointed ears and big paws with her claws usually unsheathed. She’s become a mastermind rogue who trains two (also totally black, yellow eyed) kenku twins as a thief and scout under Beastmaster’s tutelage. She’s very streetsmart and has a gravelly sort of raspy voice from years of working as a slave (able to rise as a slavemaster who was tasked with yelling orders to the other slaves and cracking the whip). She’s a bit matronly, very wry and slinky and coy, and very good with people. Typical scorpio but with a flair of aires determination and single mindedness. She’s very driven, but has the life experience to keep herself grounded and logical. She’s beastmaster’s most trusted associate and essentially the brains behind his crew, at least second to him. She’s the boss when he’s not around, but while strict, she has a HUGE softspot for her sort of adopted siblings. She gets along well enough with the rest of the company.

The two kenkus are fraternal twins, a bit younger than Maud, named Lasher (girl) and Bowstring. Lasher is the thief and Bow is the scout. They were orphaned and picked up by the company shortly before absorbing the refugees from the Mindflayer slaveship so they never really had birthnames afa the company was concerned. They speak through sign language, body language and gesture, facial expressions, and a sort of quick-hand morse code they’ve developed from both thieves cant as well as the company cant. They can’t easily speak to people outside the company, and even within the ranks they have trouble communicating without parroting, which they don’t seem to like doing unless it’s to mock someone. Their inability to speak, however, lends to their spy nature as people often underestimate their intelligence and perception. Though they can’t fly, they’re quick when racing across building tops and through tree canopy and prefer high vantage points to preform their work. Beastmaster is a very silent person who gets along well with these two, using his telepathy and patience to forge a mentor relationship with them and cultivate their infiltration and investigative skills. Lasher loves to read anything she can get her feather little fingers on, and often steals what she can’t buy. She’s not too girly but does enjoy fantasizing about the high life noble ladies lead and likes to collect trinkets she thinks represent this such as bows, perfume bottles, bits of mirror and buttons. Bowstring likes to help his sister with her plights but is much more grounded and serious. he’s dry and sardonic and takes himself a little too seriously. even for a mute, he’s very silent and a little shy and prefers to hide behind Maud or beastmaster or even Lasher. He get’s his name for his skills as a ranger, whereas lasher gets hers from her talons and tendency to use them when people get too close to her or her brother. she gets along better with the rest of the company however, and likes to be seen as cute even if she feels she’s being condescended on. she and her brother work spectacularly together, along with beastmaster and maud, and don’t mind being separated for missions or otherwise.

The two goblin (identical!) twins’ names are Fritz and Racket and they are, respectively, a storm sorcerer and a storm barbarian! obviously they’re not as subtle as the rest of the gang despite being gobs, in fact they get their nicknames from their quirks of being loud, aggressive, and favoring a sort of berserker approach to confrontation. Fritz is the caster, Racket is the muscle, and both feed off each’s other whole uh, storm bullshit. they both worship an elemental goblin deity but very very casually, it’s more of hero worship, and beastmaster sorta thinks they might have a touch of wild magic and a fixation on LOUD and FLASHY shit hence the storm kick. they’re very loyal, very brave, and only a little stupid. they both have tempers and don’t like comments about their height. very easy to bait into confrontation especially if they’re together. they’re not the kinda twins who walk together in unison and finish each other’s sentences (like the kenku twins, who similarly work off each other’s energies for their work), but they are usually together and look almost exactly alike. Fritz is a bit slimmer and taller, a bit pointier and a bit more spastic and shrill. He’s weaker than his brother but is smarter. He also has a worse temper and despite not being a melee fighter, will not hesitate to tackle anyone and just use his claws and teeth. Racket is a bit calmer but dumber, more gullible, and a lot stronger. He’s only a tad quieter than his brother but is also more physically aggressive and tends to stomp and throw shit around, hence his name. he usually follow’s frtiz’s lead if beastmaster isn’t around, but the both defer to Maud for instruction. They’re technically younger than the kenku twins if you account for the fact that goblins age quicker than kenku, they’re only slightly older! they’re more immature, however, and usually need more corralling than anyone else. unlike lasher and bow, fritz and racket dont like being seperated, but usually dont have to be since they don’t do much espionage. if they are dispatched for such tasks, it’s usually a matter of blending into busy, or sketchy environments rather than being silent and shadowy. they’re useful for intimidation, distraction, firepower, and muscle.

the last notable character i’ve cooked up is a kobold, the youngest (but again due to kobold age, its not like hes a baby technically) named Rak! he’s not very skilled in anything but he considers himself an inventor and makes really pathetic little stick contraptions that use like. shitty venoumous bugs and stink bombs LOL. i dont even know what class he’d be. no magic skills, too dumb and loud for espionage. he’s sort of a little mascot for the company and everyone treats him like a pet, but beastmaster took pity on him and lets him tag along with them. fritz and racket think hes funny and usually just throw him in a bag or like, if they have to fight, put him in a pocket till theyre done. he doesn’t get in the way too much and every now and again is a bit useful to get into super small places or to do errands like deliveries or shopping or cleaning. he got his name bc he makes a sorta RAK sound a lot when scared or startled or hurt or excited or mad. like a mouse goes EEK but he’s a stupid lizard guy so he goes RAK!

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whenimgoodandready · 5 years

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You know, if this were the old days, I’d be writing my reviews by hand on a sheet of paper and posting them on a board to the public about my thoughts and feelings for certain things. Glad we now have modern technology to make things more effeicent, but is it really better? Are the modern things more advanced or are they just eliminating traditional custums that made it original? The debate begins now!

*Bakerix-The episode opens with Nadja Chamack on the news w/ the mayor unveiling the newest form of transportation called the Startrain! A train that can go from Paris to the UK underwater! (Hmmmmm, isn’t there an episode with that name coming up soon?). Boy how well we’ve upped the ante with our industrialism! We’ll get back to that supertrain later, but first, our heroine! Marinette is sewing up a new sweater for her father for his 40th birthday today (oh boy😒we all know where this is goin’), but then she overhears her mother failing to convince her father-in-law to come over to the party on the phone (again) and it’s relived that he’s “traditional” and hasn’t spoken to Marinettes father in 20 years! Marinette never knew anything about him and when she asks more about him, but the parental figures keep saying what they say when they don’t want to answer a youngster. Ask the next parental figure! Womp! Womp! Womp! So Marinette decides to go find her grandfather herself.

Turns out, her mother was right and her partental grandfather, Rolland, is old fashioned 💥TO THE EXTREME!💥. His place looked like it hadn’t been updated since “The Lone Ranger” primered and had become a shut-in (more so than a certain fashion designer/supervillain father). After a few failed attempts, she finally gets in by inpersonating a “delivery intern” (idk why she doesn’t just say “Hey grandpa! It’s me, Marinette! The granddaughter you never knew and I didn’t bother to tell you cuz I know you’re a stubborn old turd who can’t adapt to modern times!”. Her excuse was that he’d say no faster, so she just resorts to trickery) and finds that he’s a grouchy old geezer who hates all things modern and has mice friends like Cinderella. He even has his own catchphrase, “That's not how it's done!”. Marinette continues her disguise and asks him about why he’s so estranged from his son to which he reply’s that he (Tom) used rice in his bread dough that he believes “it’s not how it’s done” and how he doesn’t bother to even try it to see if it’s better, so she challenges him to a bread baking contest, Tradtional vs. Innovative, to see which bread tastes better. During that she hums Habanera (a popular opera song from “Carmen”) and Rolland recognizes it as his and Toms song that only they sang when baking bread and is shocked to find out it’s his own granddaughter he never knew.

He gets upset by this betrayal and is akumatized as Bakerix...................can I say something here.............this is only my opinion and I don’t mean to be harsh but, this is the most stupidest supervilliain I’ve ever seen in the entire show! I’ve seen stupider, but this, this one takes the whole bakery! I mean, sure there was Mr.Pigeon, but at least he had something that was associated with his name, then there was Sandboy and although I was dissatisfied with his appearance, he still had powers befitting him, but Baxerix here, he was a Viking looking pastry man sculpture who’s goal was to destroy all things technologically advanced! WHERE DOES THAT FIT!? Huh? Honestly, where!? When I read comments that if Tom were ever akumatized, he’d be some sort of pastry esque villain, but since that was debunked from this season (“Weredad”), we got his father doing that instead and guess what, I’m very disappointed :P. His form did not suit him on what his theme was and yes I know it “sorta kinda” fits that his main problem was that he was mad at Tom for using a different style of baking bread that was also combined with his hatred of modern technology, but THAT’S NOT HOW IT’S DONE!😳 Holy Sh*t! I sound just like the old turd! Um, I’m gonna take a minute to compose myself after this review.

After his rampage of destroying all things technologically modern (and a good drinking game for this ep every time he says, “That's not how it's done!”) he goes after the Startrain and of course it’s gonna be okay cuz of Ladybugs “Miraculous Ladybug” power and cuz we need it for “Startrain” later in the season. If I thought his supervillain form and goal of using his new powers was stupid, then get a load of how the dynamic duo stop him, it’s-wait for it!....................Defeat by Sandwich! Womp! Womp! Womp! Seriously! Just like what happened to Mama Cass. Only hers was tragic while this was undigestic (that’s not a word, but idk, I’m just trying to make my point here).

God! How I missed writing these reviews! I was busy (and lazy) with my other review (svtfoe finale) and that took forever! But it’s all done now and I can move on to my other shows reviews! These ML eps are commin’ in fast and I hope I can catch up before the seasons all over. As for the ep, we’re foreshadowed on Startrain which I heard that Max’s mother will be akumatized in and I’m guessing from this relieve that she’s probably the conductor for it. We get more family tree history on Marinette and how we meet her paternal grandfather. He’s a family member we can all relate to cuz what child doesn’t have that one stubborn old relative that’s stuck in the past and is strictly traditional and refuses to learn the more modern ways of the current era they’re livin’ in? Totally relatable, but honestly, I’m leaning more towards her maternal grandparents since I hope to God that special, “The Chinese Legend”, where Marinette meets her grandmother from her mothers side, isn’t officially cancelled cuz they said they’ll air it if this show gets a 4th season and Hello people! We’re getting a 5th season and a movie! So yeah, I’m hopeful. I’m still not favorable on Bakerix (the villain) and even though I lashed out about his look being pathetic and his goals of destroying all things modern that didn’t quite fit with it as the critic that I am, it was sorta kinda alright. The detailing on him was crafty, but he’s still at the bottom of my list of least favorite villains on ML. I personally thought his power would be to change all modern day things as old fashioned stuff (ex.a sports car into a buggy and a smart phone as a house phone with the dial ring), but that still wouldn’t have fitted with his akuma name which confused some people on making them think his powers were turning Paris into a gingerbread town! A bit too complex there. The debate on traditional vs. modern was concluded thanks to Cat Noir who points out that both are equally good, but in their own unique ways. The traditional ways are what started the best there in its creation marking it in history and we wouldn’t have our innovative ways of perfecting them to make it more efficient if we didn’t start from scratch while the modern ways help us discover new possibilities to further increase our ever changing lifestyles on a more productive manner. Rolland learned this and even to the point where he had a change of heart seeing as there are some things more important than livin’ in the past. Family. So after 20 years, all it took was a clumsy little “delivery intern” to see that change is a part of life and that it’s best to move on and not stay stuck. Yea Marinette!

#miraculous ladybug #bakerix #miraculous ladybug bakerix

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danahmbisyosangdoktora · 5 years

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Here it is! My first ever blog post under my Asian Drama Blog Series. The following are the dramas I watched during the month of January 2019.

// Okay, I kinda felt the need to explain. Most of the dramas I watched this month are those of EXO Members’. As I’ve said in my 2018 Highlights, I only decided to officially spazz kpop recently and this is sorta part of it. I really wanted to watch most of the members (if not all) to somehow catch up to whatever I’ve missed when I still haven’t “stanning” as much as I can so I watched and am continually watching their dramas. //

SERIES

1) EXO NEXT DOOR Rating: ★★★☆☆ | Light plot No. of Episodes: 16 Running time: 15 minutes Genre: Web Series, Comedy, Romance Plot: 23-year-old Ji Yeon-hee is extremely shy and introverted with zero dating experience tends to blush like a tomato when talking to someone she likes. One day, four young men move into the house right next door to hers. Much to her surprise, they turn out to be Chanyeol, D.O., Baekhyun and Sehun from EXO, her favorite boy band who are trying to lay low for a while. Thoughts: It’s like your typical boy band fanfiction that has been adapted to become a tv series. I don’t know if it’s because I watched so many dramas already or the fact that I grew up reading fanfictions or because I watched it few years after it’s hype that’s why I said this??? Had I watched this during its release, I would have been really stoked! (Probs because I’m much younger back then) But of course, I am not any less glad even though I watched it years late because it’s still like a dream come true of some sort to have seen your idols actually act as the characters in a plot that you have only been imagining or you have just read in a fan fiction. We’re talking about audio-visuals here lol.

This is actually the first drama where I saw Chanyeol, Baekhyun and Sehun act. I have watched Kyungsoo before in Pure Love and 100 Days My Prince (he’s also the main reason why I decided to finally look up and stan EXO lol) and it irks me a bit to see him do the second lead this time. Sehun was really funny here. Total maknae! I can never forget you, brotha. The series is actually short. I finished it in two nights alongside with another drama I was watching. You can totally finish this in one sitting! Finished Watching On: January 09, 2019

2) THE UNIVERSE’S STAR Rating: ★★★☆☆ | Moderate plot No. of Episodes: 6 (MBC) Running time: 30 minutes (MBC) Genre: Fantasy, Romance Plot: Byul is a 19-year-old student who has been struggling to keep up with her job to guide dead souls to the afterworld as a Grim Reaper, learned that her favorite singer Woo Joo, is expected to die soon. She decided to save him as he is the only memory that she had in her previous life before she got into the accident which caused her life. Thoughts: It’s a little refreshing for me because I haven’t came across a fantasy plot between an idol and a fan, more so a mystic entity in this case, for quite a while. Although it’s a bit predictable (perhaps for me since I’ve read a lot of fan fics/ teen fics and watched so many dramas already or it really is predictable), I still liked how it ended and also a bit sad over its bitter-sweet ending. Finished Watching On: January 11, 2019

3) BE POSITIVE Rating: ★★★☆☆ | Very Light plot No. of Episodes: 6 Running time: 10 minutes Genre: Web Series, Romantic comedy Plot: Film major student Hwan-dong prepares for his graduation project as a movie director. He is facing a difficulty in finilizing the film due to lack of funding. Left with no choice, he asked Hye-jung, an actress of present time and alumna of his university who happened to be his ex-girlfriend to play the main role in his production. Thoughts: It’s really light but it’s understandable since it’s only a web series/ promotional series. To be honest, I only watched it since Kyungsoo is the lead role. I think it’s the perfect drama which portrayed relationships that ended without proper closure. Can relate. I like to commend this because true to its mission to “send a message of support to the younger generation”, it actually showed how we must really own up our mistakes and be mature enough to talk any misunderstandings out. Kyungsoo was really cute here huhuhu. It’s super duper short! I mean it’s only an hour!!! I seriously finished this in one sitting. Finished Watching On: January 12, 2019

4) STRONG GIRL BONG-SOON Rating: ★★★ ★ ☆ | Moderate plot No. of Episodes: 16 + 1 (Special) Running time: 70 minutes Genre: Fantasy, Thriller, Action, Romantic comedy Plot: Born with superhuman strength, Do Bong-soon dreams of creating a video game with the main heroine as herself. Her strength is hereditary and passed along only to the women in her family. She is desperately trying her best to become a willowy and elegant woman to meet the ideal type of her long-term crush, In Guk-doo, a police officer. Due to her strength, she was scouted to be the bodyguard of Ahn Min-hyuk, a rich heir and the CEO of a gaming company who recently received anonymous threats, blackmails and a series of stalking.

One day, a series of kidnapping cases break in Dobong-dong, the district Bong-soon lives in. After her friend was targeted, she became determined to catch the culprit. As they try to find the suspect, the three found themselves in a love triangle. Thoughts: What’s there to say aside from it being super good? It’s a mixture of suspense, romance and cuteness. The romance isn’t annoying at all. I really liked how the kidnapping case added so much spice to the plot and how after all the ruckus it all went down to family being your major strength. Finished Watching On: January 18, 2019

5) TERIUS BEHIND ME Rating: ★★★☆☆ | Moderate plot No. of Episodes: 32 Running time: 35 minutes each / 2 episodes per day Genre: Romantic-Comedy, Mystery Plot: Go Ae-Rin suddenly loses her husband. A mysterious man, Kim Bon, lives next door. Kim Bon is a legendary NIS agent. He was involved in a failed secret operation wherein the woman he loved died three years ago. He has since become disconnected with the world and decided to live alone quietly. He helps his neighbor Go Ae-Rin uncover a conspiracy which her husband got involved with. Thoughts: Watched this because of a trailer I came across on Facebook and So Ji-sub!!! This has been on my list since last year and I only got the chance to watch it this month. It’s a breather from my usual teen fictions so I was hooked. Super Ioved the twins, they were super cute. I especially enjoyed the part where they had to deal with the bioterrorism coz I can 10/10 relate, my Microbiolog(ist)y heart was very happy and was very amazed to at least see it be executed/ planned even if it’s just on screen. It’s not the most perfect spy series but it’s enough for me (or because I never really watch spy shows). The traitor in the ending (a supposedly plot twist) wasn’t very surprising to me... not sure if it’s predictable or because I have watched so many dramas already that I did predict who’s who already. Finished Watching On: January 24, 2019

6) SEVEN FIRST KISSES Rating: ★★★☆☆ | Light plot No. of Episodes: 8 Running time: 9-12 mins Genre: Romance, Comedy Plot: Lotte Duty Free store employee Min Soo-jin has never been in a relationship before. One day, she meets with the goddess of date who grants her an attempt to pick the perfect partner for her first kiss among seven men. Her options are firstly, a religious tech billionaire (Lee Joon-gi), a serious yet romantic boss (Park Hae-jin), a sexy secret agent (Ji Chang-wook), an adorable younger male friend (Kai), an innocent chaebol heir (Ok Taec-yeon), a beloved k-idol (Lee Jong-suk) and finally a free-spirited travel writer (Lee Min-ho). Thoughts: Bukod pala sa babaeng lahat. Charot! I have watched this during its release but I failed to catch up with every episodes. It’s only now that I decided to watch it as a whole again. Watched this after finishing Memories of the Alhambra as a rebound/ to ease my broken heart. It’s super light, tamang kilig and fantasize sa oppas. Literally watched in one sitting. Finished Watching On: January 28, 2019

7) SECRET QUEEN MAKERS Rating: ★★★☆☆ | Light plot No. of Episodes: 7 Running time: 15 mins Genre: Romance, Comedy Plot: A travel agent who lacks confidence in her appearance finds her hidden beauty with the help of six men she met at Lotte Duty Free stores. Thoughts: Watched this because of Chanyeol and Sehun!!! I only knew it was also a short series the moment I decided to watch it so I also ended it in one sitting. Dunno what to say other than it was cute and fun and short. I suck at reviews but this is another usual fan fiction I have read huhu but ofc, I love that I have seen it with my eyes than just imagining it. Finished Watching On: January 28, 2019

8) MEMORIES OF THE ALHAMBRA Rating: ★★★★☆ | Heavy plot No. of Episodes: 16 Running time: 65 minutes Genre: Fantasy, Suspense, Sci-fi, Romance, Melodrama Plot: After receiving an email regarding a groundbreaking AR game about medieval battles in Alhambra, Yoo Jin-woo, CEO of an investment company that specializes in optical devices, travels to Granada, Spain to meet the creator of the game, Jung Se-joo. However, Se-joo is missing and there, he meets his sister Jung Hee-joo, owner of the hostel he stays in and a former guitarist. Both get entangled in a mysterious incident and the border between the real world and the AR world built by Se-joo begins to blur. © Thoughts: Watched this while it’s on-going. 11/10 would recommend!!!! At first, I felt like it has the same vibe as W and got super amazed then I only learned mid-drama that both drama were written by one writer that’s why they have the same vibes. Super crazy plot! I honestly couldn't quite catch what’s going on in the first few episodes, I thought I was going stupid and going crazy myself but got a hang of it din later on. Super genius! Everything is astounding... except the ending. LOL I’M SO MAD!!!!

I decided to delay watching the finale for a week to “emotionally prepare” myself but I never thought I would be betrayed like this??? Had I known, I would have prepared for a month. Have already watched tons and been watching kdramas for several years already, I shouldn't be surprised and disappointed to open-ended stories anymore BUT I AM!!!???!!! So proud of Chanyeol here and my girl, PSH, still never disappoints! Finished Watching On: January 28, 2019

MOVIES Never a fan of watching movies but for EXO, I watched them loooool

1) SO I MARRIED AN ANTI-FAN Rating: ★★★☆☆ | Light plot Genre: Comedy, Romance Plot: Top star Hoo Joon ended up living together with his anti-fan reporter Lee Geun-young. Thoughts: Literally a fan fiction ripped straight off of Wattpad... charot! Not sure which came first but that’s what it was for me. Not that I don’t like it... again, it’s a dream come true to have seen my favorite idol actually act as the character I have only imagined before but I read a fanfic with the same plot before I watched this. Watched on: January 05, 2019

2) HYEONG/ MY ANNOYING BROTHER Rating: ★★★★★ | Light plot Genre: Comedy, Drama Plot: All thanks to Doo-Young, his younger brother, Doo-Sik was granted a parole from prison. Doo-Young is a then promising judo athlete but got involved in an accident before the selection for the national team which made him lose not only his break but his eyesight as well. After 15 years, Doo-Sik (Jo Jung-suk) suddenly appears in front of Doo-Young and they begin to live together. Thoughts: Of course, watched this because of my bias Kyungsoooooooo. Seriously this guy knows how to tickle your lacrimal glands and make you cry. Almost all of his movies were tear-jerker!!!! I felt super proud of him here. He literally pulled it off #nobias. It’s super relatable especially because it tackles about sibling-hood. Watched on: January 26, 2019

3) SO YOUNG 2: NEVER GONE Rating: ★★☆☆☆ | Light plot Genre: Drama, Romance Plot: A wealthy young man pursues a young woman of modest means, but circumstances often separate them as the years pass. © Thoughts: The movie was said to be an adaptation of a novel. Honestly, I didn't clearly get the plot in whole? I was confused what happened in the end. Not sure if it’s because it’s poorly shown or the fact that maybe the Chinese characters that were flashed (which I can’t transcribe) held a significant role that’s why I didn't understand the ending. I saw a clip on Facebook and it seemed interesting + it’s Yi Fan’s movie which lead me to watch it. I had to search for reviews and summaries in hopes of finding enlightenment about the ending but I haven’t found any which clearly explains what happened. About the characters, I had to say that the relationship was kind of toxic and they were really immature, I’m so mad! (says the mature one lol) Watched on: January 27, 2019 Soooo that’s it. Please understand that these are all based on my personal opinion. I am in no way a professional in making reviews. I’m just a plain nobody who loves watching asian dramas. The way I see a plot (as a light or as a heavy one) may be different from others and the ratings I gave could be different from anyone else as well. Most importantly, your thoughts might differ to mine so you do you. I hope I was able to help you find what to binge next!

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yuissamidare · 5 years

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@codes i think i may have put this on my artblog but... Here

i guess ill start w ichi bc i always forget about him somehow like i always come up short when im making lists and im like 'oh wait shit yeah that guy’ bc im stupid n i only think of fishing trio + choro. I’m an Idiot. idk i never thought too hard on ichi bc i so rarely think about him but he looks so high its really funny i said this on main but he looks like my friend when he decided to try a weed gummy bear then started babbling about hentai then watched to watch porn with me but got mad all the intro scenes are a billion years long and started ranting about the industry but now that i think about it he looks like someone who used to send me weird shit when he was high like bad pick up lines about body parts i wish i didnt have

and thats so funny that its Ichimatsu who looks like that but also proof that hes high. but anyway!! hes really cute and im mad hes boutta ruin my reputation for my complete and utter lack of care and interest in him no matter what im mad. my friend gwyn said 'Sp lubing us up for the fuckening that is the reason why Ichi is sad in present day’ im really curious at the change like if hes trying a fake it till you make it type thing bc really emotionally exhausted or if hes just genuinely having a good time or hes puttin on a front since like. nails who stand get hammered down right??? just gotta do your best n Never Relax n i can relate to all that. but uhhh old hcs i guess

in kun ichi was the most serious! really smart but just as bad w school as the rest of them apparently but!! yeah so id think that!! ichis that guy who participates in class discussion constantly and is always willing to debate the readings, but turns in sloppy papers with typos and no a coherency or stucture or anything. he’s A+ in participation but has an average of 60% on most of the written assignments with points knocked bc of lateness then more bc its A Mess. you could ask about the prompts for one of his papers, he could babble about his position on it complete with paragraphs and footnotes but like the day before its due hes playing rpgs and watching horror movies.

his classmates think hes so smart n so intimidating. the family knows hes a hot mess. the teachers tell him he has a lot of potential but they don’t think hes applying himself. all are right. also he doesnt cheat or let people cheat off of him since hes always been about rules and boundaries and Rightness n he n jyushi were the only ones who Minded Themselves in kun

uhh jyushi!! let me talk about schoolwork again bc yeah i love jyushi so so so so much and thinking of him in a school environment is so weird i thought about it a lot n i thought about it him in kun n san and Woah!! i really really love delinquent jyushi, bc when i saw that i was like 'huh! that fits actually!!’ i love that like him and choro flip flopped completely from what i thought. his school must be so cold theyre too cheap to afford heating in the winter and in summer the acs Blast. he was so Shy and quiet and he cried and he liked to sing so i always thought that when he participated in chorus festivals hes always like right in front!! he hums a lot in class and also moves around alot bc he actually like school and people like primary trio are the types that make friends often. i wasnt supposed to talk about this yet whoops.

unlike ichi who relatively neat despite everything but has shit notes, jyushis notes are amazing and understandable and utterly illegible.

theyre covered in doodles, arrows and lines leading every which way, different colors but not like color coded n theyre not in order by date, but he opens to a random page every time yet somehow always seems to know where to find each lesson. he writes footnotes and caveats and corrections and criticisms of the teachers and random thoughts and just smears ink everywhere. sometimes his notes are on a completely different subject. the notebook itself is a horrifying mess, the front and back covers both covered in drawings and designs and falling apart, random papers shoved between the pages, coming apart at the seams, covered in stains of unknown origin. assignments are full of emoticons and informal language, and they always manage to make his teachers feel like hes smarter than they are (most likely). he does his projects the minute theyre assigned, and is finished a minute later so can talk to his friends. he loved school.

sophie told me once about how she thought was Like That was bc one of his main concerns is that he thought he had nothing that made him Jyushi n in kun she said he might have been the one who was the most concerned about having a distinctive personality and i talked about how that sorta carried over san and how he always blended in bc of how gentle and soft and push-overy he was. he was actually the and most gullible and weakest in kun so i was like :0 when i saw that and intentionally did stuff like only carry 14 yen in his pockets to be quirky but it always sorta fell flat and he was still invisible so i was like hmmmmm. and i can see how he couldve toughened up and thinking of this now!! i love that. oh im so happy. this is so much better than i ever couldve imagined ever.

totty…. i do not think he was very popular or good at school. i think he’s very decent at schoolwork but he never put much effort into it. just copies whats on the board but if the class runs out of allotted lesson time n he couldnt finish his work he just didnt do it like cram schools a pain in the ass. if he put effort hed be a star student but he just craps out whatever since hes was the laziest!! oh but something i noticed was that him and jyushi would play together often since sometime he felt overwhelmed by karamatsu a lot. also hes the money thief and scammer its great kun todo is so good. he gets shy and flustered easy too!!

but uhh yeah!! depending on the day im always like 'zaimoku love each other so much they are best friends and the perfect other halves!!’ then im like 'these mofos hate each other what the fuck is this trainwreck’ did you see their shitty small talk in the horse episode. what was that. like they are genuinely trying to communicate and are pretty easy with each other but they have nothing to say. its like when youre having a boring day at school and theres nothing to talk about with an acquaintance so you just look at the walls and go 'have you ever noticed how stupid these posters are’ then you both start reading posters aloud but you both know its not that funny and youre just doing it to waste time but you still enjoy their company you just dont want silence. thats their relationship. and i think they are just very similar in very different ways and like. the key things that make them both similar and different and the same fuck them up (like suiriku!! theyre both really similar even if it doesn’t seem like it at first which is why their compatibility in the relationship chart was so low in s1, but i saw a lot of improvement in both of their behaviours and their communication and honestly. s2 was worth it for that sophie was so happy to see her faves get along) like sometimes when you look in the mirror all the things you see are the things you dont like about yourself instead of what makes you wonderful and unique. also i didnt mean to talk about this but i guess i am.

but yeah. totty is bitter n resentful at kara during hs n karas more confused and upset at tottys behaviour in their twenties n thats bc like i said. theyre dumb. karamatsu!! i think was actually pretty popular in highschool n had a good amount of friends - i genuinely think theatre kids are well liked bc i literally know everyone in my department and im friends w a good amount of people and im not even That extroverted. my actual extrovert friends know everyone in the school by name and everyone in my department is so nice even though theres a lot of bitchiness and drama its not as bad as w other humanities studies (jesus christ humanity students outside of theatre are a hot mess.)

uh yeah n that ultimately makes totty feel a bit… betrayed? karamatsu is his partner! theyre supposed to be there for eachother! kara’s the first one to branch out, get friends etc etc and todomatsus left behind bc hes always the one playimg follow the leader and he breaks out of that once they graduate - he grows up resenting karamatsu slightly though he still cares. but this time Hes the one cancelling plans to hang out with friends instead. my friend katie put it best when, in response to me telling them this, they sent me:

'kara: totty you have so many friends now. We barely see you anymore.

totty, applying chapstick: well, I learned it from the best.’

when i told them about it. but at the time gwyn and i were babbling about possibilities and different storylines and how theres a possiblity the movie might break down into three manageable plotlines n she gave zaimoku 'popularity’ and this was me throwing out ideas but honestly. Good. (aha, the end of this scenario ended up with todo throwing hands and shoulder checking someone outside a window and then getting removed from the premise n hanging with atsushi all night after) why am i on this. shit what happened here.

uhh but yeah totty is Def someone with learned behaviours rather than being a natural extrovert honestly just look at him hes an introverted mess masquerading as a decent human being and i know full well how people like that are bc some of them have been my best friends for years n seein the new hs promos solidifies that fact bc look at him. Crybaby. He is Miniscule. A Child.

then its 'delinquent who looks like an honour student’ choro. i never studied him until sophie started liking choro n since i love sophie i wanted to take an interest in him too. n i started to think very hard about him! then gwyn planted this in me n its taken root and im just never not gonna think its great. yall see his shitty gokudo impression what a bossy lil shit. he pulled a whip on kara once and it was mad funny but also Gwyns Big Evidence for him just being the absolute worst not like a casually skips class type but a Choro was a legit a bully and really mean n sabatoged other classmates to make him look like he was 100% That Bitch. maybe not him being Mean and cruel but just an asshole who bums around, is something i really like that one a lot its been one of my faves since gwyn n i started talking about it but i just!! have a ton of other things too!!

hes a lot like karamatsu in that theyre both stupid and weird and embarrassing and they put on airs but they also!! dont try!! they talk so big and such high goals n expectations and they dont do shit bc they have so much hubris but i always talk about them bc suiriku is sophies Beloved so ill like. Not. but he acts like he’s better than all of them n forces the role of the straight man on himself because he wants to be seen as the responible, level headed one even if hes just. So Much.

i think the movies calling back to how touchy feely and clingy he was in kun and adding on to how jyushis a delinquent and kara… Is Like That he’ll be around them the most bc jyushi might either be really protective or push him away and then they do something to mend their relationship later on or hell cling to kara and they just. grow apart. sticking to my hc until the end bitches. oh.

for choro… personally!! i thought hed be a slacker instead of a delinquent but not in the way totty slacked - totty was lazy n knew the work but didnt want to put in effort but choro just. Doesnt. choro has so much energy all the time and choro Can Not deal with school situations. bc like… you always hear people say that studying is meant to be done at the desk, silently, no distractions what so ever!! focus on notes and nothing else!! ise a highlighter but dont use it too much!! make your notes legible but you only have five minutes before the board gets erased!! review!!! look at your notes or youll die! take breaks bit dont take too long and honestly. listen. kun choro wouldnt be able to stand that shit and id think hed just think he was doing it The Wrong Way n he just wasnt meant to do it.

he doesnt like quiet classrooms!! he cant study like that and hell get distracted. he cant sit still n thats why totoko broke up w him in the beer ad and why hes just Everywhere in kun!! hes understimulated and its just Ugh! you know??? he’ll fidget w his pens until he breaks them or hum or tap his foot and annoy everyone or leave for the bathroom at least three times a class just to get up and move.

eventually he just. gives up even though hes super smart he like, stops caring bc if you dont care to understand material then you wont have to read and read and reread and rereread something to get it! classes just make everything uncomphrehensible and makes any idea he may have sublimate into nothing. but he can work on the trains and the buses! he needs something kenetic to get him moving and trains n shit always have enough going on to work with, just like with home!! chorochoro motherfuckers. he works much better moving forward, ironic as that is. he feels sorta set apart from every thing like hes behind some big plane of glass doing everything wrong and being all set apart from everything. eventually he takes to acting like a real fussy mom to avoid his own problems and help everyone else out even though hes annoying and even when he graduates but it gets Worse bc then figures out how much!!! he fucked up!! then he kicks himself into high gear n still cant do shit. ahh.

its illegal for me to talk about choukei bc i talk about them so much and im always being annoying n typing stupid essays about them bc theyre… my faves.. But this is so long…

it actually makes me super happy that he kara acne he still can be really fighty and he cries and he still does stupid impulsive shit for others and even though hes really sweet and caring is still an utter monster and fucking mess of a person. love him. i always like to think his shittymatsu nickname came from iyami n it just morphed from there bc in 66 you can hear iyami calling him specifically garbage. ive always been glad they kept his sewing hobby too. ahh, actually from what i see hes pretty similarities to kun so i wonder when he decided to air out that teremity. idk what to say about him that i havent in tottys section. he just Feels like someone who had a good support group and nice friends bc of how hes able to move in the world. kara feels like some whos doing their growing up in their twenties bc highschool came easy to them and now theyre just really struggling with the real world. like i shouldve expected softboy hs kara and i appreciate him very much!! i talk about choukei a lot bc they were the first characters that spoke so i immediately attached myself to them n i talk about karamatsu Specifically but im not sure i ever mentioned how much i appreciated how smart and cautious hes proved himself to be time and time again, like how hes the only one to point out totokos fish shtick aint doing her favours or how he was the first one to notice osos irritation n how you can pick out his voice warning jyushi to calm down in the bg of 24 or how in the comedian episode he was ready to take Notes from iyami and a lot of other small things!!

i would think hes actually a bit more serious n calm in hs and san is him amping up traits that drew people to him in hs and it backfiring on kara spectacularly - kara is always gauging people and their reactions and acting in a way he believes will get something positive, but at the same time is utterly oblivious when it comes to actually Getting them n i talked about the girls on the bridge but this is also prevalent with ichi who kara just. Doesnt Get and can not figure out how to maneuver their relationship. like oso, kara is and elder brother!! and elder brothers have an image theyre supposed to uphold, but while kara acts the part he doesnt do the shit a big brother does and shrugs that responsibility off on oso until oso fucks up until s2, where they share the role more evenly and his relationship with ichi improves but this is another essay entirely. what im trying to get with that is that hyperfocus on what other people think of him, but his complete disregard when it comes to their actual reaction and instead what he wants their reactions to be would also greatly impact him transtioning from a teen to an adult im sorry im getting sloppy now

osomatsu… i really adore him too much and i understand how totty felt in their episode bc i also lent my phone to a friend who needed to desperately jack it before meeting new people n i talk about him a whole lot too. hes mean and an asshole and garbage n i know a lot of people find him plain n boring but idk. i dont think thats the case hes a really complexed n nuanced character n hes literally has always been way back from kun n thats expected from a main character but… hes always been mean n dumb n sly and he can get so pathetically vunerable and thats literally!! him. hes a normal dude nothing wrong with that n it can be real refreshing. n i suppose im so fond of fishing trio+choro bc they remind me of my friends. but yeah even if hes 'plain’ i dont see why thats a bad thing. n this they always have the most interesting body language like despite kara being So Much his body language was always closed off n singled him out as everything But exuberant and bright, and osos quirks like how he stands on his toes a lot had always been so cute… its relaxed and open n screams Talk To Me!!!!

ahh but i always end up thinking oso was. oso??? theres not much to say that i havent before but i do think that he was a lot more like he was in episode 2 when ranting to chibita about having shitty brothers and then actively Chose to be a good brother even if he wasnt a good person and be a stable rock and be someone they could all come back to at the end of the day. and hes good at math im never letting this die.

#now im sleepy fmxbfbc #mbbbaf #i didnt talk about oso much im ao tired

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musicmushi · 5 years

Text

Vent incoming feel free to read if you want but pass by it if you dont thats cool too

This is to feel like free-writing I suppose. I have been going through a lot in my head and it feels good sometimes to just get my fingers flowing and to type stuff out. I have been having mental breakdowns off and on for at least a week but most likely more. I have fought the urge to cut myself, resisted the temptation to get rid of some certain people.

I know that the mindset I have is unhealthy but that doesn't stop me from having it. Actually, I think to try to repress it just makes the mindset worse. I’m trying my best to not ignore myself but that sort of leaves the question “who am I?” or maybe “What?”. I feel like I’m supposed to just know what I’m all about just by trying things and doing what my gut feels is right. Seems simple, right? Just focus on what feels right for you and whatever that is speaks to who you are.

Well, the short of it is it's not. Plain and simple trying to decipher your persona so to speak from just what feels right and good is a perfect slope into confusion territory because humans, by default, are multifaceted beings with complex thoughts and contradictory interests. No one fits into one singular pretty little mold. There’s gonna be cracks and holes and dents that warp the overall product making each person imperfect and out of the ordinary. The ‘molds’ are stereotypes and stereotypes by and large are not true for everyone everywhere! There’s just way too many humans to make that a possibility. I have been trying to fit into mold, after mold, after mold my entire life and I can’t fit in anywhere. As ridiculous as this may sound to those who ‘get it’ it frustrates me that I have failed at being a perfect little human even though I know very well that perfection does not exist. The idea of perfection itself is flawed and thus becomes paradoxical.

Sometimes I wish I could reboot myself into something that's more cohesive and understandable because the need to explain myself time after time after time again gets annoying and tiresome yet there it is. I feel as though I need to explain myself in such detail that my ideas and motives should not be questioned. I need to have an irrefutable reason for anything and everything I do; “it makes me happy” never cut it and it never will even when I’m with the company where that answer would suffice. Nothing can just “make me happy” I’m left trying to explain WHY it makes me happy because I want people to understand that though I can be theatrical in my emotions and reactions; I am not a joke to be told and passed around amongst friends. I think about what I do and why I do it so often that it has given me premature stress among other things.

I know what some may think at that. And yes, being stuck trying to explain why I enjoy things and what happiness even is, leaves me depressed as fuck. I’ve seen that video! Everyone has seen that video by Scotch and yeah I related to it and all the amazing points he made. But I can’t just stop giving a fuck because I can’t think of an irrefutable reason to do so. Everything needs a reason. Because once I do something that lacks reason I’m being dubbed ‘silly’ or ‘ridiculous’ ‘a crazed fangirl’ ‘obsessed’…I’m made into a joke. People think that I’m just someone not to be taken seriously and that makes me mad but I can't blame anyone but myself because I have a natural tendency to act silly and be funny and there’s nothing wrong with that but when there’s a time to be serious suddenly people are caught off guard when I step up and be serious.

It’s almost as ridiculous as the people being blown away at the singing talent of Susan Boyle because she didn’t look like a diva or whatever. You can’t look at someone’s physical attributes and mannerisms and suddenly know what they have hiding under the hood. I act obsessed with the person that I love because I’m excited to be with them, I have never once taken that relationship for granted and I think about our future together because the happiness that comes with being tied together cosmically with this person is nice to think about. My feelings for them is not a joke or a phase or a simple crush…I’m not some crazed obsessed yandere waiting with a knife under my arm behind the door. Call me whatever you want but don’t you dare even try to write this off as anything less than real and serious.

I plan for my future because I want to make sure I have back up plans for my back up plans. Lord knows I have had enough go wrong in my life in so many ways that I think its completely reasonable to be cautious and plan around dangers. I’m not being dramatically paranoid. I make jokes a lot of the time and I love to laugh. But I, myself, am not a joke.

I’m aggressive yet non-confrontational, stubborn but I can go with the flow, emotionally unstable but when the time is right I’m sensible and have the right advice to give, I have inherited my mother's saint-like patience with others but I myself get antsy and jumpy very easily. I have every reason to hate the world and to give up on love but the very idea of doing so makes me feel brokenhearted and weep.

I have to keep caring and I have to keep believing in love because without love the world becomes even more unforgiving and a life without that hope isn't worth living. If I lose the passion and investment in these ideas that I have then I lose my irrefutable reason to live. My belief in love gives me a rock solid reason to not kill myself and that is not to be joked about or tossed in the trash. Love is not trash. If I stop giving a fuck, I’m afraid that will result in something truly drastic. If that’s deserving of not being taken seriously then I have already lined myself up for the Fool’s Pillory. If that truly is the case then so be it. But one cannot fault me for wanting to be taken seriously as a thinking adult.

I am in the process of accepting myself as trans and the process is making me impatient as I feel no one is taking that seriously. I either get suspicious looks from friends and colleagues thinking that I’m throwing my identity away for the sake of another or I get a barrage of pastel attitudes and flower crown treatment which feels very condescending and hand-holding which in turn pisses me off. I get people telling me that “if you wanna be a man you don't wear makeup” or “I’m not going to help you look more masculine because you’re only doing this for that girl you never shut up about” Everywhere I turn there’s a road bump or wall blocking my path and its making me hate myself and the world for making this process so god damned confusing. Here I am approaching 25 with years of stacked up gender issues and now that I’m trying to deal with them head on I got people trying to white knight me and tell me how I should present myself so that I can be a proper trans. Like there’s some sorta gender identity manual out there and I’m just…doing it wrong and I need some well-meaning person to come up and hold my hand and guide me to the other side like I’m not cognizant enough to figure it out for myself. I’m not a pathetic ridiculous laugh worthy little retarded delicate daisy.

I have years of abuse and reality slapping me in the face harder than anyone else in my personal circle and yet these personal friends of mine that I have grown with are the worst in roadblocking me like not even my dearest friends can take me seriously because when I do act serious about it they get thrown off their groove and they don’t know how to talk to me about it so they don't. I got one friend that knew I had fallen in love with my special someone and not two minutes later joked that he had a chance to sweep her off her feet. No one takes me seriously no matter what I’ve been trying and that seriously pisses me off.

I’m pissed, confused, stressed, fighting the urge to cut myself, and it seems that I’m the only one sometimes that knows I’m not joking when I say these things. I think through my actions and I do my research. Everything I do has a reason. But no one wants to believe that because I’m supposed to be the pitiable stupid one that’s mocked and laughed at and just lies in waiting for my mythical white knight to come in, sword swaying, and whisk me away so that I can live happily ever after or whatever. When I need help; I ask. Plain and simple if I think I can’t handle something I reach out. I’ll fully admit I’m bad at it but I’m not so bad as to miss the opportunity entirely like I’m slow. I’m not slow and I’m not worth your pity…If you pity me then you can escort yourself out before your shining armor blinds others to the reality of autonomy. You know who you are.

#trans issues #vent post #its long #started as a free flowing writing #then it just turned into an open letter of sorts #frustrations be a pain #herp derp dont mind me #I'm just...mad #like I feel better after putting it into words but #these issues are real #I'm not joking or kidding or being overblown #I am not a joke #just because I can tell them doesn't make them my identity

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