#stuff including

[tickletastic]

How are you

i’m actually great (and coming back soon), thank you for asking!! lots of new and exciting stuff has been going on lately and i’m super excited!

#stuff including #getting into every grad school i applied for #and accepting my top choice #which means moving out of my parents’ house by september #and loans but that’s later jess’ issue #and half of my tattoo sleeve being done #very very very exciting things i’m literally so hype #busy as hell #but hype

[tearlessrain]

please help me- i used to be pretty smart but i’m having so much trouble grasping the concept of diegetic vs non-diegetic bdsm!

gfkjldghfd okay first of all I'm sorry for the confusion, if you're not finding anything on the phrase it's because I made it up and absolutely nobody but me ever uses it, but I haven't found a better way to express what I'm trying to say so I keep using it. but now you've given me an excuse to ramble on about some shit that is only relevant to me and my deeply inefficient way of talking and by god I'm going to take it.

SO. the way diegetic and non-diegetic are normally used is to talk about music and sound design in movies/tv shows. in case you aren't familiar with that concept, here's a rundown:

diegetic sound is sound that happens within the world of the movie/show and can be acknowledged by the characters, like a song playing on the stereo during a driving scene, or sung on stage in Phantom of the Opera. it's also most other sounds that happen in a movie, like the sounds of traffic in a city scene, or a thunderclap, or a marching band passing by. or one of the three stock horse sounds they use in every movie with a horse in it even though horses don't really vocalize much in real life, but that's beside the point, the horse is supposed to be actually making that noise within the movie's world and the characters can hear it whinnying.

non-diegetic sound is any sound that doesn't exist in the world of the movie/show and can't be perceived by the characters. this includes things like laugh tracks and most soundtrack music. when Duel of Fates plays in Star Wars during the lightsaber fight for dramatic effect, that's non-diegetic. it exists to the audience, but the characters don't know their fight is being backed by sick ass music and, sadly, can't hear it.

the lines can get blurry between the two, you've probably seen the film trope where the clearly non-diegetic music in the title sequence fades out to the same music, now diegetic and playing from the character's car stereo. and then there are things like Phantom of the Opera as mentioned above, where the soundtrack is also part of the plot, but Phantom of the Opera does also have segments of non-diegetic music: the Phantom probably does not have an entire orchestra and some guy with an electric guitar hiding down in his sewer just waiting for someone to break into song, but both of those show up in the songs they sing down there.

now, on to how I apply this to bdsm in fiction.

if I'm referring to diegetic bdsm what I mean is that the bdsm is acknowledged for what it is in-world. the characters themselves are roleplaying whatever scenarios their scenes involve and are operating with knowledge of real life rules/safety practices. if there's cnc depicted, it will be apparent at some point, usually right away, that both characters actually are fully consenting and it's all just a planned scene, and you'll often see on-screen negotiation and aftercare, and elements of the story may involve the kink community wherever the characters are. Love and Leashes is a great example of this, 50 Shades and Bonding are terrible examples of this, but they all feature characters that know they're doing bdsm and are intentional about it.

if I'm talking about non-diegetic bdsm, I'm referring to a story that portrays certain kinks without the direct acknowledgement that the characters are doing bdsm. this would be something like Captive Prince, or Phantom of the Opera again, or the vast majority of bodice ripper type stories where an innocent woman is kidnapped by a pirate king or something and totally doesn't want to be ravished but then it turns out he's so cool and sexy and good at ravishing that she decides she's into it and becomes his pirate consort or whatever it is that happens at the end of those books. the characters don't know they're playing out a cnc or D/s fantasy, and in-universe it's often straight up noncon or dubcon rather than cnc at all. the thing about entirely non-diegetic bdsm is that it's almost always Problematic™ in some way if you're not willing to meet the story where it's at, but as long as you're not judging it by the standards of diegetic bdsm, it's just providing the reader the same thing that a partner in a scene would: the illusion of whatever risk or taboo floats your boat, sometimes to extremes that can't be replicated in real life due to safety, practicality, physics, the law, vampires not being real, etc. it's consensual by default because it's already pretend; the characters are vehicles for the story and not actually people who can be hurt, and the reader chose to pick up the book and is aware that nothing in it is real, so it's all good.

this difference is where people tend to get hung up in the discourse, from what I've observed. which is why I started using this phrasing, because I think it's very crucial to be able to differentiate which one you're talking about if you try to have a conversation with someone about the portrayal of bdsm in media. it would also, frankly, be useful for tagging, because sometimes when you're in the mood for non-diegetic bodice ripper shit you'd call the police over in real life, it can get really annoying to read paragraphs of negotiation and check-ins that break the illusion of the scene and so on, and the opposite can be jarring too.

it's very possible to blur these together the same way Phantom of the Opera blurs its diegetic and non-diegetic music as well. this leaves you even more open to being misunderstood by people reading in bad faith, but it can also be really fun to play with. @not-poignant writes fantastic fanfic, novels, and original serials on ao3 that pull this off really well, if you're okay with some dark shit in your fiction I would highly recommend their work. some of it does get really fucking dark in places though, just like. be advised. read the tags and all that.

but yeah, spontaneous writer plug aside, that's what I mean.

#I found their original stuff while I was researching various waterhorses and their folklore for no reason #because one of the characters in their original work happens to be an each uisge #and then it turned out it ALSO included a lot of figures from welsh folklore in general #so yknow if you happen to have my incredibly specific hyperfixations you'll love it but even if you don't it's great #I didn't mean to bring up phantom of the opera so much it just happens to be very relevant to a lot of my talking points #I haven't actually seen it in years

[solidwater05]

Apparently this needs to be said so

Forgetting things is morally neutral! Memory issues are morally neutral!

You're not a bad person if you...

forget things quickly

forget people

can't remember entire stages of your life

can't remember important things

can remember some things very well and forget other things all the time

can't remember things (or anything!) about your interests

forget to eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, etc

forget to reply to texts

remember things and immediately forget them again

can't remember birthdays, events, etc

frequently answer 'I forgot' to questions

can't retain new information

forget things you used to know

only remember things when it's too late

have vague, distorted and/or unreliable memories

depend on others to know how an event you were in played out

have other symptoms that are worsened by memory issues and vice versa

... and anything else I might have missed!

#muted #memory issues #adhd #actually adhd #dissociative amnesia #amnesia #memory loss #dissociative identity disorder #what other things cause memory issues #ptsd #i can't think of anything else #reminder #positivity #neurodivergent #neurodivergent positivity #memory problems #ice speaks #i tried to include as many experiences as i could think of #but out of everything i tagged i only have adhd so i probably missed a lot of stuff #so feel free to add your own experiences! #brought to you by... uh ironically i can't remember what prompted me to write this #something my mom said. i don't remember what it was tho

[chamerionwrites]

Also, there is so much hand-wringing over the ethics of BDSM and while obviously it is worth taking care about ...sensation seeking is a thing. Many, many people enjoy eating habanero peppers and/or watching movies that make them cry. The conceptual leap from there to the idea that it's possible for sex to hurt good is a very short one, and sometimes it REALLY is as simple as that.

#like yes there are power dynamics as with many things including non-kinky sex and many activities completely unrelated to sex #yes sometimes there IS complicated psychological stuff being played with #but also. it is worth asking if you're working yourself into a froth because some people enjoy spicier salsa than you do #and also whether you wanna die on the hill that straight women aren't allowed to enjoy spicy salsa #normal ≠ moral #my posts #habanero salsa tag

[pumpkinsforsale]

Tumblr has a lot of problems but seeing posts that say things along the lines of "being trans is so cool and sexy actually" over and over and over again made me genuinely believe it. Being trans is so cool. You are given the gift of life, and despite hateful backlash and the tremendous amount of work and bridges you will burn, you still would rather be your authentic self.

How punk rock, how fucking badass. Being trans is so cool and sexy actually

#trans stuff #trans #transgender #lgbt #mine #:) #closeted folks are included

[ayoedebiris]

"I cannot tell you the complete, fundamental shift that I have felt in the year since having surgery. I knew that I wanted top surgery for a decade; it's the longest I've ever thought about doing anything. The place where I went, I had that clinic's website open on my laptop for five years. It was this impossible mountain: I want that, but I'm never gonna get it. No one's gonna let me, blah, blah, blah. To have that be in the past now... I stand differently, I walk differently, I carry myself differently. It feels different in my body than it ever has. I have just never been happier. I've never been more centered. I've never felt more stable and present and alive. It's the best thing I've ever done for myself. It’s taught me a lot. The recovery process taught me about rest, accepting help, and caring for my body as something connected to me rather than separate from me, that I’m in opposition to: This is mine and I want to take care of it. I feel good in it and good about it. Part of cis people's fear around gender-affirming surgery is the fear of surgery at all — 'Oh, my God, but that's painful and scary!' My reaction to that is, 'No, no, you misunderstood. It was painful before. Your worry has kicked in at the wrong time. The right time to be concerned was about the pain I was in before this. I'm great now.' Everybody else's concern for me has been on a delay. There's no need to be concerned anymore. That's so freeing."

@lgbtqcreators creator meme: [7/8] lgbtq+ celebs — LIV HEWSON

#liv hewson #yellowjacketsedit #livhewsonedit #dailylgbtq #lgbtsource #userbru #userrachel #userjacko #useraashna #userbecca #tuserrobin #userbeat #userlindsay #tusercj #was struggling to find stuff to gif for them but they r like. rly important to me i had to include them this article came at the perfecttim #lgbtqcmeme

[calypsolemon]

dance on a razor's edge

#steven universe #steven universe future #happy new year i rewatched SU/SUF and now i have a disease called i love steven #had to get this image out of my head #especially when i realized just how many times fusion dances involved the Dip INCLUDING toxic/negative fusion dances #might make like a gifset about it at some point #cal draws stuff

[aroacearchangel]

aro and/or ace culture is wondering “is that actually a thing alloromantics and/or allosexuals experience? or is it just the Media™ pushing unrealistic narratives for everyone involved?”

#feel free to include examples #aro #aroace #aromantic #ace #aromance #asexual #asexuality #aspec #aspec community #aspec stuff #aeomanticism #alloace #aroallo

[theswedishpajas]

Just take it from me.

#my art stuff #super mario #Luigi #Wario #Mario #Waluigi #I don’t think I’ve ever drawn wario before #and I am scared at how well he turned out. #take the L #take the W #take the M #take the ??? #meme #doodle #sketch #I absolutely love the expressions they’re making #luigi looks so tired #Wario is just proud of you #Mario doesn’t get what’s happening but acts like he made the trend #waluigi just wants to feel included but has no idea what the fuck is going on #no thoughts head empty only WAH #edit: #A friend informed me the upside down L is a real letter and is pronounced like R #and I can’t help but imagine He thinks he’s being smoothe and doing one of those sleezy purr growl things and thinking he’s being flirty #it makes the wink so much worse #I love Waluigi but god he’s so lame (affectionate) #edit 2.0: #it is pronounced like G #idk where I got R from #’’grrr“ is even worse for waluigi

[mizgnomer]

Parallel photos: The Tennants and the Shebergs

#david tennant #georgia tennant #michael sheen #anna lundberg #because I love posting parallels #and apparently these two couples enjoy making them #who knew good omens #would lead to so many good things #good omens #nye #good the play #and their marvelous mugs #stuff i posted #parallels #tennant sheberg parallels #cute couples being cute together #staged #bbc staged #I nearly included the taking babies home from the hospital photos #will include those if I ever do a part 2 #but I liked this set with everyone's faces

[ale-arro]

been going a little bit insane about this sentence from Ace by Angela Chen for the past week

#replace this with any other type of significant relationship too #also! this book actually rules btw i really recommend it #i didnt read it when it first cane out bc i was like. well i am already pretty familiar with asexuality and not rly interested in 101 stuff #but it turns out it doesnt feel 101-y at all its a super awesome piece of queer theory and also chen has Good opinions #and not weird watered down ones that i am sometimes wary of in aspec communities (frankly especially ace ones) #i think maybe if more people approached asexuality the way chen does (including and maybe even especially ace people) #i would be more inclined to still ID as ace #but anyways! #aro #aromantic #<- tag selections that reflect how i personally engage with this quote #also #described in alt text #also also #j tag #:/ #aro media

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

#actuallynpd #signal boost #actuallyautistic #mental health awareness #narcissistic personality disorder #people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias #(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar #mentally ill or otherwise ND) #the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there' #no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo #anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that #he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful #misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included #several personality disorders. one of which was NPD. #and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and #he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he #was glad he did #fun times #or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to #support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma #bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me #trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them. #again..... fun times

[shigayokagayama]

happy one year anniversary to the most insane week in internet history

#mp100 #mob psycho 100 #reigen arataka #vid #EDITORS NOTE: sexymanotd deleted their twitter account which made finding stuff for this. very difficult. #i was unfortunately unable to include the BLOODSHED in the replies of the ingo poll and could only allude to it #i will never forget standing outside my calc class listening to people talk about how sad it was the queen died #while scrolling past WALLS of sans and reigen getting to third base on her grave

[thedisablednaturalist]

We need to talk about how so many queer spaces are inaccessible and even actively hostile to physically disabled people.

#chronic disability #chronic pain #fibromyalgia #spoonie #physical disability #cripplepunk #queer spaces #lgbtq #lgbt #queer #disability #and i am specifically not including neurodivergence in this because many of these spaces are openly welcome to neurodivergence #other than maybe stuff like narcissism psychosis and schizophrenia #bc i have seen hostility to those exceptions #wrenfea.txt

[onebizarrekai]

random userbase data time

(listed almost every/every game as one option in case you skipped out on some of the multiplayer ones)

please reblog after you vote for Maximum Data, even if you voted no! if you voted for one of the other options, tag your favorite game(s)!

I am just very interested in the presence of the zelda fanbase :>

please note that, for the sake of this poll, remakes count as one game. so like, if you've played the original ocarina of time and master quest and the 3ds version, that counts as one game.

#by the way! there are currently 19 games #including breath of the wild and not counting tears of the kingdom or any remakes #and INCLUDING multiplayer spinoffs like four swords #I have played them all except for triforce heroes #legend of zelda #polls #random stuff #ocarina of time #skyward sword #twilight princess #breath of the wild #zelda is my favorite franchise of all time. I can talk about it for so long #god I hope this works

[puppyeared]

littlest furth shop

@laikascomet

#i think i had a little too much fun with this lol #i also wanted to draw road boy and other characters but maybe when they actually get introduced #i do have a sketch of him with a lil chainsaw.. im not gonna be normal when he gets introduced man he looks so sillygoofy #if you squint laika's eye marking is a clover yue's is a crescent moon and mars' is a star ^_^ #i wanted to give laika an accessory too but i couldnt think of anything.. maybe a stack of pancakes?? #im curious to see the apocalypse side of the story too.. like so far we have an idea of the comet fucking everything up #and im assuming that lead to a ripple effect causing the apocalypse but exactly how bad?? i cant wait to find out #rn im kinda piecing stuff together.. larkspur delivers mail in a beat up van so that might mean all transportation is grounded #the buildings we've seen so far are intact like the observatory and turnip's house but idk if thats the same for big cities #laikas playlist only includes songs downloaded on yue's computer and there hasnt been internet in 20 years.. but radio signals might #still work.. if yue grows his own food we can assume that mass production and distribution also isnt a thing anymore #sorry im a sucker for worldbuilding.. and the furth puns are fun to me. i like to think toronto would be clawronto.. and vancouver wld #be nyancouver.. barktic circle.. mewfoundland and labrador.. canyada.... #christ i have so many drawing ideas. willow if youre reading this im so sorry youre probably gonna expect to see a lot of drawings frm me #like. i wanna draw laika in the akira bike pose so sosososo bad. IT WOULD BE SO AWESOMECOOL. ill teach myself to draw bikes if i have to #i also wanted to animate laika leekspin.. man #my art #myart #fanart #laika's comet #laikas comet #laika #mars #yue #furry art #fur #littlest pet shop #lps