#sure ill post again for research bc i think its interesting how we do things where im from | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

caffiine · 4 years

Text

A BRIEF PAUSE

From my regularly scheduled content. I’ve got some shit to say, y’all (forewarning for spicy language and spoilers)

I thought about making this post on my fandom subblog but this show and this relationship have been TOO important to me for the past 8 years to not give it its proper place in my life. strap in bc im not sure how long this mf is about to be.

When i started this DUMB show at age 19 tortured soul “empath” dark academia me thought sam winchester was going to be my favourite character. and don’t @ me, i love sam now in his own right (and we deserve some SAILEEN PEOPLE). but after literally less than 5 episodes i KNEW dean’s character and his arc were going to be amazing and beautiful and he immediately became my favourite brother. The nuances of his character i.e. his shell vs his true self were so evident to me even in the first couple seasons. in my humble opinion, he had the most growth of the two brothers.

They all deserve to be happy, but for whatever FUCKING reason dean has the HARDEST TIME OF ANYONE being happy in this show. I know it’s his character. I know it was written that way. But FFS. I kept wondering when they were going to wrap up his emotional arc and stop torturing the poor dude.

then in season 4 they introduced castiel and 1) I thought the new concept of angels as assholes was super cool and 2) I hardcore SIMPED over misha collins (still do). I watched benignly as cas and dean began to form this relationship that seemed pretty special. I started watching the show when it was in its eighth season and I binged the shit out of it for two weeks until I was caught up. By the time I was caught up I was CERTAIN there were some feelings between them and I LOVED it. I am bisexual and I was ECSTATIC for a potential queer relationship between two masculine-portrayed dudes. I went on tumblr to express my newfound theory, only to find out that this was a real THING. “Destiel” was already an idea that had absolutely and intensely BLOSSOMED in the fandom for several seasons already. So many others saw what I saw and saw the potential of emotionally tortured/constipated “daddy’s blunt instrument” dean and the unfeeling daddy’s boy cas “crack in his chassis” Winchester being allowed to be happy together. I felt validated and hopeful. For a while.

Then it was season after season of hopefulness for them to be finally happy with each other while still fighting the ills of their world with sam and the other new members of their family that were added along the way, only to constantly have that hope seemingly teased away at the end every single time. By season 11 and the introduction of amara (not bashing, eventually loved her character and her development too) I gave up. I lost hope. I stopped watching the show. I didn’t want to keep watching my two favourite characters continuously abused by the story they were thrown into.

I know not everyone likes destiel, not everyone thought it was real. That’s chill, idc. Stories are so often meant to be (and sometimes inadvertently) left up to interpretation by the person experiencing and consuming them. It’s what’s so amazing about books and shows and movies that are able to make us feel so intensely about them and their characters. And I felt SO strongly about dean and cas. It was honestly really upsetting to me, the way the show was going with their relationship.

A while later season 13 had been going on and I started seeing some things pop up on my dash. Hopeful things. I did a bit of research and accidentally saw THE SCENE from season 12 and I couldn’t help myself. I restarted it. I watched the whole thing from the beginning again AND introduced it to my boyfriend I think partially as a way to ensure I wasn’t imagining shit (it took him awhile and a lot of me internally screaming during many scenes but by season 9 he was like “uh are they in gay love”). Fast forward to me finally catching up as season 14 was starting. I was still hopeful, somehow. And it happened AGAIN. Season 14 and the beginnings of 15 made me so sad. I HATED what they did with their relationship. I HATED the way it ended. I HATED the way dean treated cas and everyone around him. It felt like the show was taking his whole character arc back to day 1. I didn’t understand. I kept watching for a couple episodes after the big argument and cas left but the luster was gone and eventually I just stopped.

I love this show. It has meant so much to me as a story. So many of the characters are/were very dear to me. I know it’s a running joke with this show about character deaths and homophobia but the strength of the bond I felt was between cas and dean gave me a lot of hope. But it wasn’t enough. I felt betrayed one too many times. And for those of you who kept watching, for whatever reason, I don’t hold it against you. It’s still a beautiful and interesting story without cas and dean’s relationship. But I just personally couldn’t do it anymore.

I hadn’t planned on watching the rest of season 15 when it came back after pandemic hiatus, at least not for awhile. So imagine my FUCKING surprise when I was doom scrolling through twitter during election week on Thursday and I see supernatural trending right along with election shit.

What.

I couldn’t stop myself, I looked and literally SCREAMED and made my boyfriend spill his wine all over our couch. I didn’t know exactly what happened as I hadn’t seen the episode but APPARENTLY all my emotions and feelings had been at least partially vindicated. So I BOUGHT season 15 so I could finish watching where I had left off. I watched 8 episodes in less than 24hrs (don’t judge me there’s a quarantine) and I LIKED them. And it might’ve been bc I knew what was about to happen in 15 x18 but I really felt like the show was getting STRONGER as it neared its finish.

I was so excited for 15x19. I read so many posts from fellow fans, destiel and antis alike. There really weren’t a lot of bad emotions running around. Everyone seemed hopeful and excited like me.

I probably don’t need to go over 15x19 emotions but im going to anyway. I was disappointed. I was confused. I was angry. we are in season 15. The last season ever for this show that has had a HUGE following of fans who have loved it, sometimes unconditionally, sometimes even though it wasn’t the best (and sometimes less than good). A season and show that had just announced YES. CAS LOVES DEAN. ITS REAL. And I shouldn’t have to go over the nuances of why we would expect more after this, with two episodes to go before the show is done forever.

But I will bc im mad af.

Like I said in the beginning. Dean’s character arc has been incredible. His emotional growth – as subtle as it might’ve seemed – has been amazing. And dean has always been an emotional, loving person. he just felt like he wasn’t because the world made him feel that way. And that’s sad, y’all. Dean deserves to realize he DESERVES happiness. And in 15x18, we were finally heading basically directly there. With destiel, yes, but even if you’re anti, what cas said to dean about who he is and why he loves him obviously struck a fucking chord with dean. It obviously changed the way he viewed himself (RE: “that’s not who I am, that’s not who we are”).

But for WHATEVER reason that’s ALL we got in 15x19. One fucking SENTENCE about dean realizing maybe he’s not just built to kill people. And then jack leaves without a single mention of Eileen or cas or Charlie or literally anyone they ever cared about and dean rode off into the sunset alone with his brother while we watched a fucking FIVE MINUTE MONTAGE that made me want to hurl my own body into the sun they were driving toward. And cas is STILL DEAD.

BUT THERE’S STILL ONE EPISODE LEFT AND FUCK ME IF I HAVENT BEEN PAINTING ON MY CLOWN MAKEUP ALL WEEK. SO WHAT DO I WANT????

ONE: DEAN DESERVES HAPPINESS. REAL HAPPINESS. What the FUCK supernatural??? Wasn’t this the whole point of his arc??? And don’t get me wrong I REALLY want that happiness to come from Cas and a real spoken relationship of some sort between them bc it also ties in with my second point but tbh just PLEASE let dean be happy. Dean is a loving person and does everything for love as we JUST FOUND OUT. Dean would NOT be happy with everyone he’s ever loved gone for the rest of his life. I just don’t believe that’s fucking true. h elp him pls.

TWO: CAS DESERVES HAPPINESS. I know we got this whole speech about “happiness isn’t in the having it’s simply in being” but like. Really. Castiel was supposed to be a throwaway character no one was supposed to care about. But we all cared SO MUCH that he lasted 11 SEASONS longer than intended and became a main character and an integral part of the story. Cas has arguably sacrificed more than anyone on this show. His last act was to sacrifice his life to save the man he loved. He knew where he was going. He knew he was finally going to be able to tell dean he loved him and then immediately be taken by the empty where we know now thanks to season 15 that everyone in there just gets to dream forever about their regrets and sadness. HOW IS THAT FAIR. HOW IS THAT A GOOD ENDING FOR CAS. HOW DO YOU EXPECT ANYONE – CHARACTERS AND FANS ALIKE –TO BE HAPPY ABOUT THAT. Its messed up, supernatural. Y’all KNOW it is and I hope to HIGH HEAVENS this is going to be corrected in 15x20.

THREE: give sam Eileen back.

Well that’s all I’ve got in me, folks. I’m absolutely and intensely dreading Thursday. Im scared and nervous and obviously still angry that this is absolutely going to be the opposite of what they promised – another “game of thrones” ending. Some of y’all are giving me hope with your posts about maybe they’re trying to keep the ending a surprise and maybe cas is coming back and how can they not and why else would they have done the second to last episode like that and I hope yall are right.

Either way, im glad I am not alone with my feelings. Thanks yall for the experience of this fandom and show. Let’s stick together on Thursday, no matter our differences.

PS stop calling jensen ackles a homophobe or ill hex you.

#supernatural #destiel #deancas #oh and #saileen #just to make sure theyre not forgotten #dean winchester #castiel #Misha Collins #jensen ackles #15x18 #15x20 #15x19 #i fucking guess #dean x castiel #casdean #castiel x dean #supernatural season 15

44 notes · View notes

frywen-babbles · 5 years

Text

Sounds of Silence pt1

A/N: Modern AU with Mitsunari! This is loosely tied to Everything comes with a price, set over a year after it. Unlike before, there won’t be a set release schedule bc this fic isn’t completely finished yet. (I just need some validation and motivation oTL). A big thank you to @dear-mrs-otome for telling me this idea doesn’t completely suck <3

Also spoilers for Mitsunari’s route!

When he opened the door all he could do was stare.

Behind it stood a young woman. And not just any young woman but the one he had seen at the library countless times reading books to kids in sign language. The woman he secretly always hoped he’d see when he went to the library, whose smile he couldn’t stop thinking about.

***

At first, Mitsunari was annoyed by the voices coming somewhere out of sight. Libraries were supposed to be where you could study in peace, he had no idea what could cause such a ruckus.

The sound of laughter guided him to the children’s section of the library, but what he saw wasn’t what he expected.

A young woman was standing in front of a group of kids, a book open in front of her, animatedly reading the book in sign language. The kids were excited, laughing and giggling at the what he assumed were the exciting parts of the story.

Mitsunari felt enamoured, his annoyance long forgotten. He didn’t even realise he had stared until the story was over and all the kids were circling her, trying to talk to her all at once. Her smile brightened her face and she looked so natural and happy amongst the kids Mitsunari felt almost jealous.

Just then, she caught him staring. He felt his face heat up and he turned around sharply, stomping back to the table he had reserved for himself. He planted his face firmly on the book open in front of him.

Gods, that was embarrassing. Who goes around staring random women, when they were supposed to study. Ughh…

*****

He saw her walk towards the children's section from the corner of his eye and somehow his head turned to look after her. She stopped to wait for a boy in his teens to bounce all excited to her a book in his hands. They shared a greeting but Mitsunari couldn't follow the signs they spoke with. It didn't stop him from staring after them when they continued on their way towards the room where he had seen her read to the kids.

"Hey, are you even listening to me?"

Mitsunari turned to look at Sakon who looked at him a wide smile on his face.

"Or are you too busy staring after women to tutor me?"

"If you have time to lazy around and comment on everything I do, you must be ready for a quiz about all the important battles post-Honno-ji?"

"Ack! No! Don't you have any mercy, we just went through them 30 minutes ago?"

"Then what are you doing fooling around, you incorrigible dimwit. Get back to studying."

"I'm sure no one would have made me work this hard in the Sengoku period..." Sakon mumbled with a sigh.

"What was that?"

"I'm studying!"

When he was finally free of Sakon, he made his way to the children's section. But it was quiet, the children long gone. He was just about to turn around when he noticed a schedule on the wall. She would be back in an hour.

He could wait for that long.

Wait, maybe he shouldn't? Would that be weird? But he really did want to see her read again.

He didn't see her until he got up to get some coffee from a vending machine. She was sitting on the sofas next to it with the same boy as before, lost in an animated discussion he could only guess the topic off.

A part of him wanted to loiter so he could watch them talk, but the reasonable part of his brain forced him to return to his table.

As soon as he saw her followed by the silver-haired boy he stuffed his things to his bag and stood up to follow her. A group of excited kids were already waiting for her but he stayed behind until everyone had sat down. Then he stepped behind the parents by the door, his eyes following the movements of her hands taking in every sign.

Unlike before, this time when she was finished she kept glancing at the clock and hurried away as soon as possible, almost colliding with him. The silver-haired boy tried to stop her but after some hurried signs let her go. The look on the boys face looked a bit like a lost puppy and for some reason seeing her hurry away like that made Mitsunari feel a bit same.

He was brushing his teeth in the evening when he felt the buzz of his phone in his pocket.

[23:12:45] <<bookshy>> do u evr feel like ur stuck in ur life? [23:12:52] <<bookshy>> like u shld hve accomplishd so much mor in ur life tn u hve?

He stared at the screen for a while before he typed a reply. He didn't know who bookshy was, not really. They had been talking with each other for years, but always with nicknames, always through messages in the internet. It felt more comfortable that way somehow. Knowing there was always a person willing to listen to you without judging.

[23:13:05] <<ManjuDreamer>> Are you feeling like that right now? [23:13:07] <<bookshy>> ya [23:13:11] <<bookshy>> i dunno wht ill do w/ my life [23:13:19] <<bookshy>> i thght id do so mch more u know? [23:13:22] <<bookshy>> and now i jst feel liek im stuck nd see no way out [23:13:23] <<bookshy>> is ths my life now? [23:14:50] <<bookshy>> evry1 says i shld b happy w/ wht i hve [23:14:59] <<bookshy>> i hve so much im feeling ungrateful whn i feel like ths [24:15:46] <<ManjuDreamer>> You still have plenty of time to accomplish your dreams. It's not for others to decide when you can be happy. [23:16:02] <<bookshy>> guess ur rite

He heard a knock on the bathroom door and quickly finished brushing his teeth. When he opened the door Hideyoshi was standing behind it already in his pyjamas.

"I thought you'd never come out," he commented with a yawn and pushed past him to the bathroom.

"Good night," Mitsunari wished to the closed door before he retreated back to his room.

[23:18:30] <<bookshy>> how was ur day [23:18:49] <<bookshy>> i saw the prettiest person today like hot damn [23:19:13] <<ManjuDreamer>> I saw an interesting person today too, I wish I get to see them again. Other than that, it was mostly my student being an idiot, so nothing new. [23:19:53] <<ManjuDreamer>> I tried to do some research on a paper I'm writing, but it didn't progress much. I was just about to go to bed so I have energy to study more tomorrow. [23:19:56] <<bookshy>> srry to keep u up [23:19:57] <<bookshy>> night! [23:20:10] <<ManjuDreamer>> Night.

***

Mitsunari tossed the wig from his head frustrated, running his hand over his face. He glanced at the mirror of the bathroom, at the perfectly drawn eyeliner, the perfect shade of blush, the perfectly applied foundation. The perfect set of lies, painted on his face.

[13:33:14] <<ManjuDreamer>> I went to see my mother.

He hesitated a bit before he sent the message. It didn't take long for his phone to bling with a reply.

[13:34:29] <<bookshy>> how did it go? [13:34:48] <<ManjuDreamer>> As well as you would expect. [13:34:51] <<bookshy>> u wanna t alk about it?

His fingers ghosted over the screen of his phone before he put it down and looked at the mirror again. He reached for the makeup removal wipes from his bag and scrubbed furiously at his skin until the last remains of the makeup were gone.

[13:36:18] <<ManjuDreamer>> She's there but I feel like I'm losing her. [13:37:01] <<ManjuDreamer>> Every time I visit she seems further and further away. [13:37:15]<<ManjuDreamer>> Sometimes I wonder if the mother I used to know is there at all.

He started to type his next message, but stopped, gripping his phone tight in his hand.

[13:38:34] <<ManjuDreamer>> She's my mother, but it's so hard. [13:38:42] <<ManjuDreamer>> I don't know what to do.

He glanced at the mirror to make sure his eyes weren't red before he pulled his shirt over his head and replaced it with one from his bag.

[13:38:47] <<bookshy>> ur doing plenty already [13:38:49] <<bookshy>> u dont have to push urself so hard [13:38:50] <<bookshy>> im sure shed understand [13:38:59] <<ManjuDreamer>> But I'm all she has. [13:39:02] <<bookshy>> i know [13:39:06] <<bookshy>> but u hhave 2 thnk abt urself frst [13:39:15] <<bookshy>> if u feel its too much u can keep a brek. ur not prfect. u dnt have 2 b [13:39:50] <<bookshy>> im alws hr 2 tlk if u need me [13:40:20] <<ManjuDreamer>> Thank you. It means a lot.

He put his phone on the side of the sink and wiggled out of his skirt. He really should buy a new one next time he got paid for tutoring. The zipper didn't work properly anymore and the hem was starting to fray. He kicked the flats from his feet and looked at the kneehigh socks on his feet. They wouldn't be visible under his pants anyway so he let them be and took his pants and shoes from his bag before showing the skirt and shirt in their place. He considered showing the wig in after them but realised making the wig presentable after that would be too much of a hassle. So he gently combed the wig with his fingers to sort out biggest tangles and folded it neatly in a mesh bag. Flats into a plastic bag, then into the bag.

Like countless times before.

He got dressed and made one final glance at the mirror before he put the bag on his shoulder and stepped out of the bathroom.

"Oh, Mitsunari! Here to see your mother?" a nurse greeted him when he tried to slip past the nurses' office without being noticed. What a nosy bunch of quidnuncs insistent of mothering him.

“Yes. I was just leaving.” He replied with a stiff bow.

“Come and have some tea with us! How did the test go you told me last time?” Another nurse poked her head from the office. Mitsunari resisted the urge to roll his eyes and offered another bow.

“I believe it went well. I still haven’t received the results.”

Half an hour later he was still stuck at the nurses' office surrounded by what felt like a flock of mother hens, all determined to squeeze every bit of information out of him they could. He was just getting up from his chair when a voice behind him froze him on the spot.

"Did my darling Saki leave already? She was just here... Such a dutiful daughter, coming to see her mother so often..."

His knuckles turned white as he squeezed the edge of the table, his head down. He wanted to turn around. He wanted to see his mother as himself. He wanted... needed to see if she'd recognise him this time.

"We saw her leave a while ago, Mrs Ishida. She's such a nice girl."

He heard a nurse walk his mother away and the sighs of relief from the remaining nurses.

"Are you alright, Mitsunari? You know we'll listen to you if you need to talk. Or we can help you find someone-"

"I need to go now. Goodbye," Mitsunari interrupted the nurse who had put her hand on his shoulder to calm him. He got up in such haste his chair fell to the floor with a rattle, but he just offered a quick bow before he fled the office.

He didn't stop until he arrived at the bus stop. There he sank on the bench, burying his face on his hands.

He took the bus to the library, staring idly out of the window.

[14:36:09] <<bookshy>> did u make it home [14:36:35] <<ManjuDreamer>> No. I'm heading to the library. The nurses got me again. [14:36:37] <<bookshy>> lol how did u mnage 2 escpe [18:36:56] <<ManjuDreamer>> Mother came to the office. [14:37:09] <<bookshy>> oh no [14:37:10] <<bookshy>> im so sorry [14:37:21] <<bookshy>> how r u feeling rn? [14:38:29] <<ManjuDreamer>> I don't know. I'll try to find some reading to distract myself with.

At the library, he searched for materials for his upcoming paper but when he sat down and tried to read, the words didn't make any sense.

When he had read the same page several times over and still remembered absolutely nothing he was interrupted from his reading by a book shoved on top of the one he was just reading.

"Can't you see I'm-!" the sharp words died on his lips when he saw the same woman who had read to the kids in front of him. She tapped on the note on top of the book and he looked down to read it.

'This is the book I was reading. You seemed interested'

She handed him a second book, a note on top of it too.

'I'll read this next'

When she shifted her weight from one foot to another clearly uncomfortable, he realised he was staring. He offered her a curt nod as a thank you and she bowed at him a small relieved smile on her lips. She seemed to hesitate before she signed something but he had to shake his head.

There was a slight shift on her smile, on her posture, and she took a step back.

'I'm sorry' she mouthed and offered him a bow before she all but fled, leaving him to sit alone, feeling like an idiot.

[16:19:20] <<ManjuDreamer>> I think I just made a complete fool out of myself. [16:29:59] <<bookshy>> lol rly? [16:30:00] <<bookshy>> wht did u do? [16:30:02] <<bookshy>> i thght fool wasnt in ur dicktionary [16:31:18] <<ManjuDreamer>> And for that terrible joke, I tell you nothing. [16:31:47] <<bookshy>> noooo hw wll i evr know how embarassng u can be if u don tell me? [16:32:32] <<ManjuDreamer>> You'll survive.

***

"She's not here today."

Mitsunari was startled from his thoughts by a familiar voice behind him. He turned around, vaguely aware of the frown his irritation had brought on his face.

"Who?" he asked as if he didn't know exactly who was the 'she' in question.

"I got this for you, I'm sure it holds some useful information." Mr Otani handed him a flyer for the children's activities in the local libraries. Mitsunari stared at the flyer blankly before he looked at Mr Otani, letting his irritation show.

"And what am I supposed to do with this?"

Mr Otani just smiled and pushed a book towards him as well.

"I'm sure you'll find this useful as well. Come find me if you need anything else."

Before he had time to protest Mr Otani left him with a wave, a wide smile on his face. He considered running or yelling after him, but changed his mind when he looked at the book in his hand.

'Sign language for beginners'

He tucked the children's program leaflet securely at the back of his calendar and checked the book out.

Something about the sign language intrigued him. She looked so graceful when signing. And so comfortable and she seemed genuinely love reading to the children.

At first, he thought he’d look up a few signs. Just in case some of the children needed help in the library. Just so he could talk to her. No, he meant the kids. So he could talk to the kids. But few turned into a few hundred. A few thousand. He was so lost.

***

#slbp #slbp fanfic #ishida mitsunari #toyotomi hideyoshi #voltage fanfic #frywen writes #sounds of silence fic

63 notes · View notes

fantroll-purgatory · 5 years

Text

Heya, this is my first time submitting IIRC!! so like. please be gentle

I don’t actually have a finished drawing of this character yet, I’ll have to work on them later. Is that ok? If I show you their design in a separate post after I’ve finished the art of them? Sorry its just. i really want to hear your thoughts on her personality and such

Of course it’s alright! We take trolls without drawn design concepts all the time. You can definitely send them in later! I’m always happy to review a good character!

World: Ouranos, a troll planet that orbits a red dwarf, and is tidally locked-one side always faces towards the sun, and the other side faces away. Unlike Alternia, Ouranos has never had any seadwelling trolls, and all the castes simply run from red to purple. All trolls are de jure equal, after a long and bloody history of subjugation under many tyrannical rulers, but this de jure equality hardly matters due to wealth and resource disparities that prevent historical lowbloods from holding any sort of power. Trolls on Ouranos don’t inherently live longer if they have bluer blood, but wealth disparities means that higher bloods can essentially live as long as they want while lowbloods suffer and die within just a few dozen sweeps. I like this world setup a lot! It expands upon some extant questions about Alternian society, too, like if part of the lifespan disparity is simply caused by lack of access and difference in labor expectations. You should think about details of this planet like: Is this just the planet they’ve always lived on in your AU? Or is it a colony planet established by the Condesce? Or is it a forgotten planet that the trolls we are familiar with lived on Before moving to Alternia and there’s been a convergent evolution despite the planetary separation? Name: Elapea Serpen (Serpen comes from the suborder Serpentes, which defines all snakes, while Elapea comes form Elapidae, a family in Serpentes that contains sea snakes and coral snakes, the two kinds of snakes she is based off of. she isn’t exclusively based off of elapids though, she has some elements of boas as well: see her strife specibus)

I love this a Lot for a character themed around being a landdwelling creature diving into the water. Age: 5 Sweeps

Theme/Story: So Elapea is kind of a Meenah/Feferi figure on Ouranos- she is the descendant of the Imperial Devourer, the last empress of Ouranos before she was overthrown by a gang of lowbloods. She actually knows this, as her caretaker (who is another troll instead of a lusus) is a very old highblood who was alive during the reign of the Imperial Devourer.

Backstory out of the way, Elapea is basically a weird conspiracy theorist. You remember how I said Ouranos has no seadwellers? Elapea believes they actually do exist, and they’re controlling the entire planet from the shadows, or something. (This was inspired by the story of cults like the Illuminati, or the lizard people conspiracy theory, but I only realized how antisemitic those stories were, so like. I’m trying to think of a way to have it so that she can still believe seadwellers exist and control the planet without it resembling any of those antisemitic conspiracy theories). As such, Elapea dives deep into the ocean to try and hunt down and kill seadwellers, enamored with the idea that by killing them all she could become worshipped by trollkind, or something. She never finds any seadwellers of course (not for a while at least), just a bunch of monsters.

Due to pressures from her now old (898 sweeps exactly) caretaker, who is kind of not great at doing his job and tries to grow her into an extremely strong troll who can rule the planet like her ancestor, she has taken to pitch romanticizing the idea of a seadweller, simply because she thinks she has to. (This part needs working out as well, i want it to be like. uncomfortable. but i also want it to be clear that i dont condone that kind of thing in kids like her? bc once again she’s only five sweeps old and i just realized that this doesnt actually go well with what her caretaker tries to shape her into what do i dO (actually what if i made it so that her caretaker wanted to enforce a traditional notion of femininity that’s akin to our sense of toxic masculinity, simply under a matriarchy as opposed to a patriarchy? that might work)).

Ok I realize I got back into backstory, so one more thing. Elapea is extremely dramatic, akin to a theater kid. Once again, she wants to be a superhero, so she sort of plays out everything she does like she’s in a play and the whole world is watching. She wants to be the protagonist of a story.

I love that you’re actually thinking about the sensitivity implications of these kinds of things, it’s always encouraging to see writers thinking about and researching the backgrounds of this. Wrt the illuminati and snake people thing, the simplest solution is to just try to avoid drawing any kind of aesthetic or cultural similarities to it. You can’t let Ouranos have the same kind of Hype around Illuminati conspiracies or the same degree of online jokes about the ‘lizard people living among us’ premise. I think your safest bet overall is to avoid Any kind of “shadowy cabal of noble people destroying the world,” because that almost always has antisemitic roots unless you’re very careful about it and most non-Jewish people just aren’t going to be able to achieve that kind of nuance without a Jewish sensitivity reader.

Maybe if you wanted to play on her Hero Bent, you could dive more into an Atlantian/Cosmic Horror (Lovecraft Don’t Interact)/Greek Hero sort of angle? I know that’s an odd sort of mishmash, but instead of her believing seadwellers are some kind of String-Pulling Clique, she could believe more in Furthest Ring style interpretation of seadwellers who aren’t so much controlling the world as they are driving the world mad. You could give her a very classic-style Dive Into The Underworld To Fight A God style vibe. Read about Katabasis.

As for the Bad Guardian thing, I can say that you could probably push the relationship angle effectively without straying into ‘too weird’ territory by having the Guardian try to remind her that a strong leader “HAS” to have strong quadrants backing her and trying to like set her up on dates with other highbloods. You can make it obvious that this has a significant impact on her view of relationships, like having her waffle between believing in true love(s) and thinking of romance as a purely political tool, of her straining between wanting to make her guardian proud/wanting to date nobly and wanting to pursue her own happiness.

So make that a clear reflection of the pressures her Guardian puts on her in general. Everything is performative, everything is in pursuit of her political aims, everything is so that she can take her proper throne, the Lonesome treats her not as a person but as a tool, as a potentiality, and she is not allowed to be herself in any ways. If you want to keep the Seadweller Fantasy, maybe you could do something that a lot of Abused Kids experience- maybe she experiences the Shape Of Water effect. Daydreams about finding a monster partner who will take her away from the pressures of modern society.

Goals: Basically, to make sure i can solidly lock her backstory into one that isn’t like. really antisemitic and also somewhat pedophilic? because frankly i dont want people to think im saying its ok to ship literal children or something and like. how do i get that across, that this kid is really not treated very well by her caretaker (ill just say his title, it’s Assassin Lonesome. he’s a pretty edgy dude but i wont get too much in detail with him). Also, I need a fair bit of help with a quest? and also to try and develop who she *really* wants to be and the dichotomy with how her caretaker *wants* her to be.

I think you don’t have to worry about two characters who are the same age dating or having feelings- that’s normal for 15 year olds to do. You should definitely just make it obvious that you don’t think adults should have a hand in children’s relationships the way the Lonesome tries to. As I said above, press on the fact that the Lonesome really puts the weight of her ancestor over her and tries to force her to fit a mold and a role, maybe indicate that he objectifies her/treats her more as a weapon or tool than as a person with her own goals. We’ll get into what SHE wants to be when we get down to personality/interests, etc. Strife Specibus: Elapea uses a Kusarigama, a kind of scythe-on-a-chain weapon, apparently said to have the highest mortality of any weapon of its time. i actually just found that out as i wrote this, i just thought they fit the theme bc she’s a snake. anyways if you dont know they basically have a scythe on one end and a heavy weight on the other end of the chain, and the idea is that you swing the weight end to bind someone in place and then use the scythe to go in for the kill, which is both somewhat representative of how snakes in general bite their prey to kill them, and also how boas in particular will wrap their bodies around their prey to strangle them.

That’s definitely a COOL weapon to use and is fitting themeatically for the snake concept. I do worry about its utility in water, though. She wants to die into the sea and hunt seadwellers, right? A spear or harpoon might end up being the more functional weapon for her in the end… But there’s nothing that says she couldn’t have two strife specibi, one for on land and one for at sea. Fetch Modus: Elapea uses the Locket Modus; whenever an item is captchalogued, the two halves of its essence are split up between two halves of a heart, diamond, spade, or club locket, and she keeps one half while the other half goes to someone close to her. (they dont have to necessarily be in quadrants, like often times they go to Mullen, who is essentially just her little brother, or to Assassin Lonesome) She can only get the item out by meeting with the person who has the other half of the locket, and combining the lockets. Shenanigans then ensue from this, esp since she has one locket which she has no idea how she got and no idea who holds the other half and it contains a legendary super powerful juju that i can’t get into right now.

Okay, that’s a super cute modus idea that I love the idea and implications of. Always make all your choices together! It also does have the stressful implications, of course, of the idea that the Lonesome in some ways controls her behavior/what she is allowed to do. Dual Purposes! Blood Color: Purple Symbol and Meaning:

https://imgur.com/LnlLu0g

(i cant figure out how to embed images mshjbvbxchj) basically it’s a uhh. its a snake. this was my first fanmade sign like, ever, and i love it

It looks great! And fits the purple sign language very well.

Handle:

serpentineBloodthirst (SB) (All of my fantrolls and fankids have element symbols for their chat handles, so Elapea’s respective element is antimony, an element traditionally associated with things like femininity and makeup, referencing how elapea is basically supposed to be a queen, but it also- wait no it was tellurium that smells really terrible. i cant remember a lot of its properties tbh)

Well, antimony comes from a root that basically means “Monk-Killer,” so that’d be fun to play with. Out here killing/almost killing a seadweller monk.

serpentineBloodthirst feels a little too obvious, though. It’s a direct statement of some of her themes and her goals, but it doesn’t tell you much about her character, what she values, or what she’s interested in. Imagine if Kanaya’s handle were something like vampiricFashionista, for example. Remember- the characters pick their handles for themselves. Is this how she would describe herself? You could go with something funner, like slitheringBrutaliberation, with brutaliberation being a portmanteau of Brutality and Liberation, since she thinks she’s being a hero.

Quirk:

Elapea opens every line with “~~~< ” and every one of her s’s is replaced with “SSS”. i made this before i learned how common the double s quirk is, so i’m glad it goes the extra mile of not just turning “as” into “ass”, but going so far as to turn it into “aSSS”

Hey, snakes hiss, it’s a good quirk to use. Maybe you could also have her end threats with “vv” (they’re her fangs). ex: ~~~< dont try me unlesss you want to get bit vv

Special Abilities:

None (or at least she can’t use psychic powers. Trolls on Ouranos have long ago lost their psychic powers, so all she can really do is punch people and stuff. She’s also a really good swimmer, so you could count that i guess)

Lusus/Guardian:

once again, trolls on Ouranos don’t have lusii! instead, Elapea has a “caretaker”, who is an older troll who adopts them like a parent. Once again, her caretaker is Assassin Lonesome, who tries to raise her to be like her ancestor, lethal and cold, so that she can continue the tyrant tradition of the bygone days of Ouranos.

Interests:

Unsure how much of this i accidentally explained in the theme section, once again Elapea loves drama and stories of great heroes, and as such everything she does takes on an incredibly dramatic flair to please whatever Providence watches over her. She is highly interested in romanticism, though really not at all ready for its highs and lows yet.

Elapea also really likes to swim! She goes out into the ocean hunting for seadwellers, and likes to take thrill in slaying the monsters that lurk in the waters, risking life and limb in a dark space where even the luxury of breathing is taken from you, simply for the thrill. This does not concern Assassin Lonesome at all as he is, as has been established multiple times now, an idiot who cannot raise children.

Now I’m going to go ahead and spoil my classpect discussion here when I say I almost think making Elapea a heart player is going to be too obvious. I Mean I think it’s definitely still something you could go with and justify solidly, because she does have a core conflict about her identity and who she is as well as relationship problems, but I feel like that’s such a problem that isn’t only internal to her but is also external- it’s not her being wrapped up in her own head about it, it’s her environment pushing an uncertainty on her. And I think she needs a little more of a classpect push than from the internalized forces of heart and mind.

All of that is to say I think she reads more like she might need some Void influence to me. She believes in mysterious things out there beyond her view, she wants to hunt them down, find the answers. Delving into dark places to try to find something new is what light’s all about. The blank canvas, the something where there was nothing, that’s void, and that’s interesting. She needs to learn to cast doubt on what she’s known, to bring the lessons she’s been taught under scrutiny, to determine where the truth really lies, if there is a truth at all.

…Which is all to say I think you could expand her interests to reflect all of this. Does she like stories about the murky dark and the dangers within? Does she like Unsolved Mysteries and conspiracy theories that have lead her to this? Does she like political espionage and intrigue? Does she want to smooch a fish?

Appearance: I won’t get too into detail since I’ll be posting a drawing later, but basically, she wears a black one piece swimsuit with a long swim skirt over it with black, red, and yellow stripes in the pattern of a coral snake. Besides her sign, she only really wears purple on her slippers, and i’m currently debating whether or not she should also wear purple makeup because of the antimony association that forces her to be stereotypically feminine? still unsure there. She also wears a long ponytail with red and yellow streaks down it (because it would be silly to have a horizontally striped ponytail).

Troll femininity is different from human femininity anyways. Alternian femininity mostly seems to mean Long Hair and that’s about it, considering Feferi/Fuchsias are the standard of beauty and not all of them wear makeup. Even a fashion-focused character like Kanaya only rarely wore lipstick and didn’t have lash color. Makeup is more of an accent piece for trolls than a Femininity Standard. Personality: Elapea is, once again, highly dramatic, but also bold and somewhat harsh, with a very strong “holier than thou” attitude. Elapea is older than this meme, but thinking about it now, it’s sort of the same idea as the “NPC wojak” meme, where other people are viewed as more like NPCs in a video game, and the “player characters” view them as lesser, even though they’re not? is that making sense? (and yes, i know npc wojak is a fascist meme, the idea is that she’s sort of been indoctrinated by her fascist dad) she’s also rather violent, tending to take out her anger on innocent people or things. We love a flawed character who gets to learn. Like I described above I think giving her a bit more curiosity and maybe low-level, boiling rebelliousness might be a good idea. As the EZ says about Void, “In order for something new to be built, the old, rotting foundation must often be razed.” Lunar Sway: Derse- she’s fighting back against a perceived complacency or numbness in society, the one the same “NPC wojak” meme expresses, that other people don’t have an internal dialogue and are less than human. It’s hard to explain? Later she realizes that this is wrong, and starts to fight back against people who push that kind of worldview. Title: Page of Heart. I must admit that I gave her that title based on the idea that the Page is the active counterpart to the Knight who is passive. So that might explain some things; it denotes her struggle to become ok with who she is and not who she’s being pushed to be- she wants to be a dramatic fun loving kid who gets to save people’s lives, and to be a hero, but not the ruthless dictator her caretaker wants her to be.

It’s hard to discuss classes since there’s no canon information on them unfortunately, but I do think there’s something to be said for the history of pages serving knights and how that makes it seem more likely a page would be passive over active, but I do think Page could probably serve her well either way. But I’m honestly leaning more Maid, because I do think she needs an active class in her pocket and she might just need the billowing Force of maidhood behind her, that Snap, That Push To Change. Become One With The Void, Dive Into The Ocean, Become The Mystery, Be The Cryptid. Land: Land of Mirage and Lockets; it’s a surreal land with lavender soil and clouds, and strange trees with blood red leaves and heart lockets hanging from them. Each of the lockets contain the essence of a desire- in addition, the mirages off in the distance beckon with things that are desirable to the viewer- for example, heroism. The consorts are doves, who flit about speaking… I’m not sure yet. but they speak something to eachother, some sort of secret? I think? I need help with this bit.

Void players are secret-keepers, so I think even with my void recommendation this could continue well. Maybe the doves just whisper rumors/instructions and her quest is to not obsess over which is true while also learning how not to fall for every single bit of “advice” that is given to her.

Well, I’m finally done, I’m sorry this is so long!! please feel free to take your time ^u^

Hey, sometimes you’ve got a lot to say about a character! I hope I was able to help with the problems you were having. Thank you for the submission!

-CD

#purpleblood #fan planet #submission #review #cd review #clownpieceoffreedom #elapea serpen #elapea #serpen

5 notes · View notes

cerulean8looded · 5 years

Note

25!!!!!!!!

okay that one i literally made bc i look like john, love just dance, and want to be loved but here we fuckin go

25. John being a just dance twitch streamer and all the boys being gay for it i mean youtubers au

so im thinking that all of them make WILDLY different content. lets start with the beta kids.

so john has a gaming channel, clearly, and he decides he wants to lose some weight in a fun way that also helps his channel, so he starts the just dance thing. other than that, he mostly plays things like minecraft, five nights at freddys, all your basic bitch stuff, along with a fair few horror games. he really likes minecraft and sims 4 though.

rose has a witchcraft channel. she practices witchcraft and makes videos about spells and sigils and crystals and all the other cool stuff that goes along with that. i dont know much about witchy stuff anymore, its been a while since i was into that stuff, so id have to do a bunch of research for her.

dave has two channels: irony channel and music channel. the ironic one is where he posts anything to do with sbahj, and just generally fucks about, does weird trends and stuff. he never shows his face on his music channel, never shares his name, and it’s all remixes, so no one hears his voice either.

jade has the most chaotic but pure channel. she does anything she feels like doing, from kids show reviews to “Look at this cool pumpkin i grew” to “heres my favourite gun”. she has no theme, and never plans to change this.

Trolls

aradia is similar to jade in chaotic energy, but she tends to stick to stuff like creepy antiques she finds, weird animal bones from the fields she just wanders about in and that kind of odd stuff. she also talks about dark conspiracy theories a bit.

tavros mostly focuses on animals; animal care, animal facts, how to spot animal illnesses, how to deal with hostile but injured animals in the wild, what to do if you see an animal you think might have rabies, all that kinda shit. theres always at least one animal in every video, whether its a ferret in his lap, a cat walking over him, a snake around his neck, a guinea pig on his shoulder, and so on.

sollux does a gaming and tech help channel. he plays any game that people claim is difficult and tends to beat them so fast people think he’s hacking. he slaves over every fnaf game to try to beat the custom night first. as for tech help, hes basically that guy who runs the channel on how to fix discontinued apple products.

i lost my fucking karkat paragraph, im furious. basic recap of what i lost: he does general content like dan howell and phil lester kinda, with a couple staple series, such as his rant series, where his followers give him a topic and he rants about it for about twenty minutes (after editing). he also does livestream versions which can sometimes last for several hours per rant.

nepeta does cosplay videos with whoever she can rope into helping her (usually terezi, vriska, equius, or feferi) plus a lot of fandom videos in general. she usually comes off really lighthearted in her videos, but she also makes a lot of important comments about fandom culture and shipping wars etc. on her second channel she does vlogs, which exposes her absolute gremlin side. these vlogs often feature things such as her climbing up a tree, getting stuck, and screaming until equius saves her.

kanaya does makeup and fashion advice videos, mostly with a vampire theme to them. occasionally she’ll do cosplay makeup too. her favourite videos to do are when her subscribers send in pictures of themselves and their closets, along with some general information on what they wont wear and all that, and she gives them advice on how to spruce up their look a little and declutter their clothes, etc. she likes feeling like shes making a difference to people.

terezi focuses on true crime mostly; cold cases, current cases, sometimes she runs through the process of solved cases. she prefers to do unsolved stuff, since it gives her the ability to talk about her own theories on it, and she does often get it right, but for particularly interesting cases she will do a video anyway. she also does a little bit on mental health and the reasons behind crimes and shit.

vriska is another kinda general youtuber. she does whatever the hell she wants, plus anything anyone says she cant do. she also lets some of nepetas fandom stuff leak into her content. no one really knows how she got so many subscribers. she also has the most merch out of all of them.

equius makes videos on whatever happens to be his current hyperfixation at that moment. hes the most inconsistent. one week hes picking apart the homosexual subtext in certain scenes of jaws, the next hes teaching you how to put together a microwave. he does a lot of lgbtq+ videos too; his most popular video is of him and nepeta and some others at pride and most peoples favourite part is nepeta racing around a small clearing with equius on her back while vriska cackles behind the camera

no one is really sure what gamzee actually does. his videos are all filmed on a phone camera and are never edited. he doesnt have an intro or an outro. sometimes it seems like he forgot to start filming until halfway through whatever he was talking about, but he never repeats the bits the camera missed. theres no theme, no clear goal, no one knows whats happening and theyre pretty sure hes high in every video. one time he posted a video that was over 48 hours of the phone just pointing at a wall, which appeared to be covered in blood just out of sight of the screen (as in you could see the edge of it but not the actual blood) and there appeared to be a hand sitting at the corner of the screen. everyone was fucking terrified for a while, but the next video posted to his account was karkat explaining that hed had a bit of a mental break and thrown a jar of jar at the wall (the “blood”) and that the hand was just a doll. hed taken out his phone to film a vent video, but promptly forgot about it, dropped it, and went to do something else. he finally remembered over two days later, posted it without thinking and called karkat. a few weeks later he started posting again like the whole thing never happened.

eridan’s content mostly focuses on harry potter and magic (which he definitely doesnt believe in because that would be ridiculous), but he makes a lot of environmental PSA videos about littering and pollution and stuff. in his fandom videos he comes across as just really excitable and doesnt seem like he cares about much else, but he really shows off his intelligence in PSA type videos. he also posts a lot of videos of him just talking about whatevers going on in his life, usually whenever he gets a new crush. his most popular video is the one he made right after seeing johns just dance streams for the first time, because he looked like he was about to cry or scream the whole time.

and feferi! her content mostly focuses on social and political issues. she talks out against “canceled”/purity culture a lot and tends to end up involved in discourse for it. shes that person in the middle of the argument whos literally only stating facts and saying that we shouldnt jump to unnecessary conclusions, but somehow ends up being accused of being jack the ripper or some shit for it. she isnt afraid to share her honest opinions and makes sure to remain as polite and level-headed as is humanly possible when responding to others.

i was gonna do the alpha kids and dancestors too and like share some plot and that kinda stuff but this is long as fuck, so we’re gonna stop here for now! feel free to request again for even more info dumping. also i just wanna say that i planned none of that gamzee stuff i had no idea what i was doing when i started that

#youtubers au #au summaries

5 notes · View notes

lifeofalaurie · 6 years

Text

my uwc story

i remember reading through uwc blogs when i had just found out about uwc and when i was applying and going through all those months of WAITING for the next step...and they were so helpful. im so glad these exist

i first found out uwc through my brother’s friend, who actually went to UWC atlantic college (where im headed!!!!) a few years back. it was one ordinary saturday afternoon (idk if it was actually saturday but that sounds right) and we were carpooling with said friend (usually i dont participate in these but i happened to be in the car that day) and we were talking about next year and whatever and she just kinda said that she wasn’t going to be back next year bc she was going to this ‘abroad’ program. i didnt even really think about it that much. i in fact forgot about it after that...apparently my dad did not.

so my dad would talk about it here and there but i was NOT INTERESTED for that whole year..then...i started researching a bit myself and thought oh this sounds kind of cool. i still didn't really get what UWC even was or if was even a legit thing. it just sounded like another boarding school (a huge NO for me). then i saw that there was a such thing as a “short program” (or maybe someone actually told me about it) and i decided to apply for the one at the USA campus in New Mexico. i remember writing the essays over winter break and thinking they were pretty terrible (there was also a skype interview involved and that was rough) so i was pretty shocked when i found out i had gotten in but it worked out well bc my fam was going to arizona anyway a week before that so i just flew to new mexico myself after that (i say that casually but we had to cancel tickets and get new ones so that i could go to new mexico instead of home PLUS i had to fly for myself for the first time and i was pretty confused). (also, the program is called global leadership forum or GLF)

after hermit’s peak hike (ALL UPHILL FOR A SOLID 4-5 HOURS) i think it was like 8 miles IDK. view was so nice though 10/10

GLF turned out to be an amazing experience and really solidified my trust in UWC and confirmed to me that it was indeed a real thing. i really loved how much we did in those 2 and half weeks or so - camping, hiking, interacting w wolves, having important discussions - and it really pushed me to decide to apply to UWC for real. maybe ill talk more about it in another post!!!!

ok so coming home i did even more research and really really started liking UWC and decided that i might as well try to apply. i knew they never had a certain ‘criteria’ for students but i also knew it was a long and stressful process and involved really digging deep so i really didn’t think much of it (didn’t think i really had a chance) after submitting my written application. and then began the long waiting game...

here’s a nice picture of the sky @ a wolf reservation! just wanted to add a nice pic

i never joined any of those fb groups or college confidential things for applicants and good thing bc looking at some of them now stress me out so i wouldve probably been even more stressed if i had been involved in that. also i didnt even know they existed until later so thats also probably why.

anyway i had totally forgotten about UWC (more like i was sure they’d forgotten about me or there had been something wrong like my application wasn’t submitted or something) bc i didnt hear back until the end of november (i submitted the application early october). but finding out i was a semifinalist was kind of traumatic bc in my GLF snapchat group one of my friends (who’s going to Pearson this year!!!) said he’d moved on to the next stage and i hadn’t GOTTEN ANY EMAIL. i think i just accepted it that that was the end. but then a few hours passed when i finally decided to check a different email and, alas, there it was. so a few days later, i got an email from my interviewer when we should do our skype interview and it turned out to be the same day i was taking the ACT. good

the interview turned out to be completely ok and actually really great (enjoyable even!!?). if youre at that stage, seriously the best advice i have is to just chill and be honest when youre answering. also, make it more like a conversation rather than the interviewers (yes there are prob going to be more than 1 but i assure u its ok) asking u questions back and forth. think of it as a conversation- that helped me so much to relax. the interviewers just wants to talk to you and find out what kind of person you are and if youre the same one that wrote all those deep meaningful essays from the written application - so if you were honest from the start youll be completely fine...if not, well..sry

after that, school and extracurriculars and life really went up for me and i just forgot about UWC again. i never really told any of my friends about it or anyone except for my parents. i kind of wanted it to be a personal thing- get in or not in the end.

after a really good last day of school before winter break, i went to the town library (lol) and checked my phone and therE IT WAS. I WAS A FINALIST WHICH MEANT I WOULD BE GOING TO THE UWC USA CAMPUS FOR FINALIST WEEKEND. did not know what to expect

waiting for finalist weekend felt looooong

but it came

i flew there myself AND IT WASNT EVEN DIRECT and i remember feeling so independent and proud for making it. it turned out i was one of the later ones and in the last group to be bussed over (but i met a friend on the bus who i still talk to here and there who is going to RBC this yr!!). we were so late we missed the initial meeting and first night of activities and just went straight to the hotel. at the hotel i saw my interviewer and she gave me a hug (<3) and that helped calm me down and it was also really nice to see her in person bc i remember really liking her during our skype interview. then finalist weekend happened. and im pretty sure im not supposed to expose the process so all i can say was that it was actually so genuinely fun and a real good time

UWC USA <3

at the end we all exchanged social media and fb and all that and started a messenger group chat -- as nice as it was to be able to connect to everyone, i think it really stressed everyone out. they told us that results would come out early that week (FALSE). THAT WEEK AFTER FINALIST WEEKEND WAS THE MOST STRESSFUL THING EVER. IT TOOK YEARS FOR IT TO GO BY. i remember constantly checking my email between classes and everyone in the group chat wondering if anyone had heard. then on wed night, we all got an email that said the results would be notified by friday instead. the worst

i remember that friday evening i was packing for my first hackathon (it was fun) and thinking the call wouldnt come until later that night. people were freaking out all over the group chat. then, as i was scrambling packing my sweatpants into my bag, the home phone started ringing and i ran..RAN TO THE PHONE. it said my interviewer’s name on the caller ID and i was like OK THIS I S REAL. and i picked it up and it turned out i was too late so i frantically called back probably 10 times on multiple different phones (my efforts did not work). but then, i got a call to the home phone again and it was her so i picked up RIGHT AWAY and when she told me... i kid you not that i screamed and ran around my house a few times. so thats it. it was kind of a really long and sstressful process for sure, but SOO WORTH IT. i definitely learned a lot just from that process bc it makes you think and reflect a lot all throughout. weeee

if youre even thinking about applying please GO FOR IT (well as long as ur in the right age limit, 16-18.... and also make sure you’ve done some research to get a feel for it).. but just DO IT. and u can ask me questions if u want and ill answer to the best of my personal ability (but remember that im just one person and one experience and each person’s experience is completely different)

here is the general website btw:

https://www.uwc.org/

i will probably do another post to explain UWC - at least in my own words and perspective!

<3 <3 <3

11 notes · View notes

comicteaparty · 6 years

Text

July 12th, 2018 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on July 12th, 2018, from 5PM - 7PM PDT. The chat focused on The Guide to a Healthy Relationship by Dani .

Featured Comment:

Chat:

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

COMIC TEA PARTY START!

Good day everyone~! This week’s Comic Tea Party is now officially beginning~! Today we are discussing The Guide to a Healthy Relationship by Dani~! (https://tapas.io/series/TGtaHR) For those new or in need of a reminder, discussions about the comic are freeform, so please feel free to bring up whatever you wish. However, every 30 minutes I will be dropping in a discussion question to help those who would like a prompt. These questions are totally OPTIONAL to answer, and you can pay them no mind if you wish. If you miss out on any though, they’ll be pinned for the duration of the chat once they’re posted~! Remember, constructive criticism is allowed, but the primary focus here is to have fun and appreciate the amazing comics that the community makes~! As a bonus, each chat a top comment will be picked and featured in the archives and on an ad for CTP! All that being said, let’s get started and have a great discussion!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

snuffysam

i don't know why, but the scene where apollo is asking around and trying to find julian really stuck with me. it's not the most artistically vivid scene (there are quite a few of those), but that one stood out.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

anything particular that made it stand out to you? just asking out of curiosity cause honestly i barely remember that scene just because its not the most artisticially vivid(edited)

snuffysam

i'm not sure. i think apollo realizing he wasn't crazy in seeing julian the other night made me feel, like, emotions.

turnish

Really any scene with Julian that exhibits his psychosis are ones that I particularly like Like, I find it very relatable and the art just perfectly displays what that Actually Feels Like imo

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Hello!

snuffysam

the way the art reflects mental states in general is incredibly well done

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Just wanted to pop in and say hi.

turnish

I agree

snuffysam

hi justin

turnish

Hi!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

hi justin

yeah i have to agree with turnish that my fave scenes are probably the ones showing julian's mental problems. although i think the one that sticks with me the most is the one where julian is talking to a younger version of himself and his younger version is calling him lazy. i feel like its a great blend of mental illness but kind of normal self esteem issues perhaps. in that he does seem kind of sick yet here his younger self is berating him. @snuffysam thats a fair point. i did feel emotions when it turned out apollo was indeed not crazy. XD

turnish

HH YEAH that was like a punch to the gut

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

If I had to say anything about this comic, it's got a really nice traditional artstyle and all the detail in the characters populating the pages

And some great BG work too

DanitheCarutor

Hello everyone! I'm the creator of 'The Guide to a Healthy Relationship', I'll be helping my ma out with dinner so I won't be on much, but just wanted to pop in to say hi and answer any questions and such whenever possible.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Hi Dani!

snuffysam

hi dani!

turnish

Hi!

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

thanks for coming dani~!

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Great to have ya here~

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yes. i really like the day of time reflections. particularly i think the way night is portrayed is really spectacular. https://tapas.io/episode/804141 like that page. youve got the light glow effects going on, you have some excellent reflections on the door that really make it look like night. its just all really well done.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yes

it's all very well done

especially the glow from the sity

snuffysam

the colors and lighting are just incredible

in general

turnish

i reread it today entirely bc my brain is Crap and i don’t remember stuff well but man i agree

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

lol

snuffysam

yeah i probably should have done that lol

turnish

The night is still young

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

indeed

I wonder how you do sunsets cause I have a soft spot for epic sunsets

turnish

tbh big same

snuffysam

I like how the colors are shaded with completely different colors most of the time (e.g. a blue shirt has orange shading). that's super cool to me. something that very few artists do.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Same

Colored shading alone is awesome when done right

turnish

color theory is so important

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

and it also brings out the colors themselves

snuffysam

it also helps capture that feel of night time. which is when most of this story takes place.

turnish

yeah! agreed

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

This is a cool looking comic all around

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah there are really just great color choices all around. i especially like the contrasts. cause one of my biggest issues with traditionally colored comics is theres not usually enough contrasts. so everything kind of winds up looking muted and its hard to tell things apart from one another. but i feel this comic doesnt have that problem at all

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

and all in traditional too!

and I second that

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I made it. ^^ I'm inclined towards the Julian scenes too, though I actually liked the scene where he was doing his janitor stuff and tidying up, making things sparkling. In retrospect, it was nice to see him (seemingly) taking pride in something.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Hey Math!

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Also, I'm very impressed by going the traditional route with such a blend of colours.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

QUESTION 2. Given he was supposed to be dead, Julian’s appearance in Apollo’s life opens up many questions. First off, do you believe this is indeed Julian, or do you have reason to doubt this claim? What do you think Julian meant by telling Apollo that, “his friend is dead?” Was it just a way to get Apollo to leave, or is there a deeper meaning? Where do you think Julian has been all this time? Throughout, we also see that Julian has both physical and implied mental health problems. Do you believe this has something to do with his appearance? Do you think Julian dealt with these problems all his life or are they a new development? Lastly, where do you think Julian came from considering Apollo relays they pretty much found him in a bag?

DanitheCarutor

Ah! Thank you all! Seeing the positive reactions to Julian's mentally ill scenes is really encouraging. I've been doing a lot of research on the subject since I've never experienced it myself, and it's tough to know when it's being done well. Also I feel so bad for having Julian ruin that emotional scene with Apollo, slamming the door in his face was kind of a mood killer. Lol. @Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨ A sunset scene is going to be coming up in a couple pages, so we'll all see how that turns out. xD I've never drawn a sunset before.

DanitheCarutor

Sorry! I type a lot, and I type slow.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

SUNSET SCENE CONFORMED

and that's alright!

snuffysam

I think Julian metaphorically died when... something happened to him. Don't know what.

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I think there's a deeper meaning in that the person he was doesn't exist any more. Though honestly, I'm not sure they were as good of friends as Apollo thinks; Julian seemed to keep to himself even then.

snuffysam

Julian was a nice person to Apollo, but I'm not sure if he ever really liked him.

turnish

when reading “your friend is dead” I chose to interpret that as the Julian Apollo once knew no longer exists, and Julian considers himself a different person now. or he’s running away from his past

i think i made the same point as math whoops

snuffysam

in terms of where he came from, i'd imagine russia, because he only spoke russian

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

It may be worth saying that, as a 40 year old teacher, I don't think I'm the demographic for this comic. Every time I see Apollo I kind of want to get in his face and shout "shape up man!". If he was as oblivious now as he was in the past, I kind of get why Julian would want to move on from his old life.

snuffysam

yeah honestly i get why julian wouldn't be too psyched about seeing apollo again. he's kind of a difficult person to have in your life.

especially if you have your own mental health problems to deal with

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i feel apollo is a bit self involved and just wouldnt notice julian's suffering. so while julian was there to care for apollo, apollo wouldnt notice when someone needed to care for julian persay

snuffysam

i second that

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I think Julian saying something to the effect of "I don't have what you need" kind of emphasizes that.

That time Apollo jumped out of the bushes.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Lol, Prince

I lost it when you brought up "shape up man!"

snuffysam

i wouldn't want to go back to that kind of one-sided relationship either tbh

DanitheCarutor

Aw man, those are really good questions, with some really good answers! I won't confirm much because I like things being left open for interpretation, but Apollo is 100% a moron. Also I don't mind throwing it out that he's a homeschool kid, so no social skills.

turnish

I love a moronic boy

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

tbf i could also see the hes dead mean something deeper. like maybe julian was in an accident and lost part of his memories. like all the good memories of apollo and just remembers the shitty times.

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Also "Get off my lawn". (Your drunk ass is scaring the squirrels.)

snuffysam

that's awfully convenient re: losing all positive memories of someone

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Interesting, so I guess Julian was homeschooled too? Since they grew up together?

(Also, for a moment I read that as "Apollo is 100% a mormon" and I did a double take.)

snuffysam

yeah that doesn't exactly fit with most of the stuff he's done lol

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Rebel: Maybe? I kind of feel like Julian might have faked his death to get away from creditors and people who just generally were treating him lousy though. But maybe things didn't go as planned.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Perhaps

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

What's kind of interesting is how Apollo has problems too, with his eyesight, so you'd think he'd be able to empathize a bit with Julian having his own issues. But it does seem like he doesn't have much experience with that.

snuffysam

empathy and sympathy both seem to be problems for apollo

DanitheCarutor

Math: Lmao! Oh no, not a mormon! But for the homeschool question, nah. Julian is a public school kid, they hung out almost 24/7 but they grew up in different environments with Julian staying in an orphanage and Apollo living in a fancy house.

snuffysam

especially when it comes to julian

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Ahhh, interesting. I think I misunderstood and thought he'd been adopted like a brother. That adds an interesting element of class to things too.

Apollo is very much "live in the moment". I would not want him doing my tax returns.

snuffysam

the fancy homeschool tutors may have neglected to teach him, like, responsibility

going back to what rebel said - were there any positive memories of apollo julian had to begin with?

like, even apollo's recap at the beginning paints himself in a bad light

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

probably. homeschool can be pretty lax from what i hear. so apollo's education in general might have sucked.

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Maybe they went sledding together.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

and yeah its possible that julian doesnt have positive memories

albeit there must of been a reason julian chose to ahng out with apollo

snuffysam

though that may have something to do with apollo's mental state making himself out to be worse than he was

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

and why julian didnt make an effort to move farther away

cause if i didnt want someone to find me i would not be living in driving distance of them

snuffysam

maybe he couldn't move further. relocating is hard

especially if you don't have financial means

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

true but he has had something like 5 years to make arrangements. i think 5 years. its years at least. but it really all depends where he was. it could be that hes been in the hospital or something

or a mental hospital

DanitheCarutor

Misunderstandings is totally understandable, a lot of stuff in the comic is very vague right now, and some of it will only be shown in snippets. I can't say much, but Julian does have some positive memories, there's just not many and it's harder to focus on the good over the bad.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yea

DanitheCarutor

Also as a homeschool student myself, the education does suck. I pretty much cheated my way through middle school because my teacher was a Christian booklet.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Oh really?

That's... interesting

DanitheCarutor

Oo! Since this isn't super important, Julian and Apollo actually grew up in Ohio in a town based of Newark. When Apollo "grew up" he moved to a city in California based of a mix of San Diego and LA.

snuffysam

is it possible julian faked his own death specifically to get rid of apollo for a while? like, he didn't have the capacity to take care of him anymore, so he just cut him out of his life.

lol "grew up" in quotes

so yeah, julian may not have known where apollo was, and didn't intend to be in the same city as him

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

man now thats got to be the shittiest coincidence

julian is like "im free from apollo oh shit wait theres apollo"

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

No kidding

snuffysam

yeah, but looking at julian's reaction - he clearly did not intend to run into apollo any time soon

DanitheCarutor

"and Julian's evening was ruined" -ugly cry-

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i wonder if apollo just didnt even know how julian "died." like one day whoever took care of julian was just like "nah man he dead" and apollo just made a goofy face and accepted it

QUESTION 3. Despite most definitely being adult, protagonist Apollo is a little bit immature. Why do you believe Apollo is so irresponsible? Is it just his personality, or are his habits a way to avoid certain aspects of his life? Do you think his ocular albinism plays a role in why he acts the way he does? Do you think it will be good for Apollo to reconnect with Julian, or will the events of the past send Apollo into a downward spiral? What do you think Daniel’s role will be in Apollo’s life? Lastly, what do you think it will take for Apollo to get his life together a bit more?

snuffysam

if his ocular albinism plays into his irresponsibility, it's only as an excuse. "well, i can't see normally. better get sloshed!"

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

(Sorry, sometimes I have to dash off if the little one is crying.) Oh, being away in a mental hospital would be an interesting development.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

snuffysam

i think apollo just has serious issues with self control. he started out with alcohol and drugs to get away from some aspects of his life, and then it just got worse from there.

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Snuffy: I don't know about that. If he's sensitive to daylight, it makes sense that he'd be out and about at night, which is when the parties happen.

snuffysam

true, that may be a source of some temptation. but if he was healthier, that wouldn't be a problem.

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

But yeah, agree about the self control thing. Guy doesn't know when to say "no". Also doesn't seem to know a good thing when he has it.

Fair. I don't think he eats from the proper food groups.

snuffysam

i meant mentally but yes

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Can't help you feel active.

Like, if you're always eating junk food I mean.

Ahh, gotcha.

snuffysam

he doesn't have much of a support channel to help him with his issues, and a lot of the people who do try and help him out don't like him very much because of the whole personality thing

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i think the ocular albinism does play a role. cause as someone who is awake all night, there is nothing to do outside. like the options are go to dennys, go to waffle house, go to walmart, or go to a bar. so i think it more than increases the temptation for apollo. it hampers a lot of paths to recovery.

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Is it cool to bring up Daniel? Because he's such an interesting counterpoint.

I cannot see Apollo as a greeter at Wal-Mart.

snuffysam

his boss puts up with so much from apollo, it's a wonder she hasn't fired him

DanitheCarutor

Math: Sure! He's going to be in the comic a lot more from this chapter on.

Apollo really does have control issues, it'll come up why later but he's never had an issue with getting whatever he wanted as a kid.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Oh cool~

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

they dont have greeters at night. in fact i think the greeters all leave before 8pm at the latest

yeah apollo's boss deserves a boss of the year award

cause man

i wouldve fired apollo 10 billion years ago

turnish

Ahhh Apollo’s boss deserves the most

snuffysam

and his other coworkers too. who was the woman he asked for help and then called a slur? galia?

DanitheCarutor

Rebel: Yeah, being awake at night sucks. I used to be a night owl, waking up at noon and staying up till 4am. There isn't anything to do, at least anything that's a good idea.

Yup, that's her name! Poor Galia, she's only been in the comic a couple times so far and it sucked for her.

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I'm hoping Daniel can get through to Apollo. Challenge him without going so far as putting him off.

turnish

Same here Math

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i feel at the very least daniel will openly pull up his flaws in a way others dont. cause the others say it with anger and derision and lots of ppl just flat out tune out criticism at that point. where as i feel daniel would be the one whod be like "hey apollo maybe you should clean up your place some?"

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Or maybe Apollo will just want to, so that his date doesn't get a bad impression.

Cuz the Apollo/Daniel ship is sailing.

turnish

heh

snuffysam

yeah, i think that's going to be one of the major themes coming up. trying to reconnect with julian isn't healthy - julian doesn't want anything to do with apollo, and he has his own physical and mental issues to deal with without taking care of apollo. meanwhile daniel will push apollo (either wittingly through calling him out, unwittingly through apollo wanting to get better for him, or both) to get healthier and turn his life around

whether apollo goes into a downward spiral or begins recovery depends on which path he chooses

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

It's a good point though, Rebel, about how to get across criticism.

I wonder if maybe Daniel starting to spiral down would help shock Apollo to his senses?

snuffysam

in that, apollo drags down everyone around him with his toxicity?

could happen, but i hope not. i like daniel.

DanitheCarutor

Oh man, I'm loving the Daniel discussion! He'll definitely be challenging Apollo in one way or another.

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Maybe Daniel starting to date Julian will shock Apollo to his senses.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i believe in daniel to be self confident enough to fall down apollo's hole. but on the opposite turn i do think julian will be important for apollo cause i think only julian can point out some of apollo's flaws from the past and give apollo pause. tho im not quite sure how outside of giving apollo more clarity of the things julian is dealing with

snuffysam

daniel can even use the perfect pickup line that he's been saving for such an occasion

"i like my men like i like my alcohol - russian, and found in a bag"

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

11/10

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Okay, you win with that one.

snuffysam

julian can point out problems that apollo has had since childhood, but question is, will he want to?

or will he just want to keep apollo out of his life?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Back on the question of why Apollo is so irresponsible, I think it comes from his position of privilege. His parents probably made sure that he never suffered real consequences from his actions.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

i feel julian wont succeed in keeping apollo out of his life because 1) apollo is apollo and 2) julian's young ghost self is telling him to not be lazy and i think julian will give in to that for a while

snuffysam

yeah it absolutely stems from that

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

A restraining order might be needed to keep Apollo out of his life. ^^

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

and yeah i agree with math, i think apollo has no real concept of consequences

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Napples agrees too.

snuffysam

where are apollo's parents anyway? do they know what's happened to their son's life?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Do they care?

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

they might not care? or they might not know. cause apollo does not seem the type to call home frequently and i doubt their once in a blue moon phone calls consist of apollo saying "yeah i got wasted every night this week"

cause consequence conscious or not thats just not a thing i think any kid would talk to his parents about XD

QUESTION 4. The comic’s title, “The Guide to a Healthy Relationship,” seems rather revealing of the story at hand. What does the title mean to you exactly? How do you think the story will live up to that title? Furthermore, the three chapter titles (“Hypomania,” “Monophobia,” and “Psychosis”) all share a theme of mental issues. Does this change how you interpret the title at all or how you interpret the story itself (whether the entire story or a specific chapter’s content)? What role do you think these titles play in regards to the mental illnesses we’ve seen in the story so far? Finally, do you feel the story is about relationships with others, relationships with ourselves, both, or something else entirely?

snuffysam

yeah there's a reason i've been referring to things as healthy and unhealthy all night lol

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

for me personally i feel the title is both about relationships with others and with ourselves. tho i lean more towards the latter if i had to pick one. because of how apollo treats his own self.

snuffysam

yeah, having a healthy relationship with yourself seems like a big theme

i also think the unhealthy relationship apollo had with julian growing up will keep coming back

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Wow, I hadn't even picked up on the chapter titles. Hmm, I guess at first my mind went to romantic relationships, but yeah it makes sense to be more friends and such.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

lol

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

"Guide to a Healthy Relationship - Don't act like Apollo."

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

thats the real lesson we should take away from this

dont be an apollo

be the best daniel you can be

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

I gotta wonder a bit about Apollo's circle of friends too. They seem like real enablers, I wonder if they have day jobs.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

probably. despite their party habits more of them seem to have their crap together perhaps.

tbf tho i think apollo is equally an enabler. so i think its just a circle of friends who see nothing wrong, enable each other, and spiral down and down

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

There is that, yeah.

snuffysam

do they know how bad apollo's life is? or do they just think he's that wild guy who likes to drink on the weekends?

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Speaking of spiralling down, that one panel with the pill on the tongue was cleverly done. Just wanted to get that out there.

I think they believe Apollo's got an amazing life. Bartender with access to free drinks, his own place without a roommate to bug him, the ability to afford random merchandise for thousands of dollars... what's not to like?

snuffysam

true

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

thirded

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

If anything, the search for Julian might be helping to pull Apollo away from the bad influences.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

math has a point

cant be out drinking when youre haunting a school at night

looking for ghost friends

maybe apollo will be like "wow so this is what being sober is like"

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

"I can walk without running into trees. My friends, however..."

snuffysam

though nothing stopping you from drinking before starting the search

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

maybe julian will say something

like "please dont come here reeking of alcohol"

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Julian just needs to keep throwing water into Apollo's face. Like that first time.

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

Yeah

Try it like eight more times

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Though the fact that he did reach out there implies that at least part of him doesn't like seeing Apollo down on his luck, perhaps?

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah i dont think julian hates apollo persay. i think hes just tired of dealing with apollo

cause ive dealt with ppl like that

where you dont hate them

but man do you have your own shit going on and theres only so many hours in the day

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Truth.

"And now I have to mop the floor AGAIN, geeeez."

snuffysam

yeah, that's the thing, i think julian does care about apollo, but their relationship is so one-sided that it isn't worth it

DanitheCarutor

The answers about the tirle, and this discussion is soooo gooood! I didn't think anyone would pay that any mind. -sobs- I wish I could spill the beans, some of you guys had some really spot on theories.

turnish

Sorry I’m hella cleaning so I couldn’t participate as much as I wanted to,,rip

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Apollo knows not of this "cleaning".

snuffysam

yeah didn't you learn from the story, turnish? you have to live your life like apollo! that's the moral!

turnish

Dang ur right I should become a slob

shixjdj

Superjustingo of ✨Time🕑&Space☄✨

kek

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Don't lose your glasses though. That's a bad plan.

DanitheCarutor

Yeah, man. Just throw it all on the floor, the nanny will take care of it. Everyone's got one of those, right?

turnish

Man I Wish

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

yeah i store my nanny in my closet when not in use

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Hm, this sequel to Mary Poppins took a NSFW turn...

DanitheCarutor

Ah, I'd suggest storing them in a jar. It's more cost effective.

MathTans the Pun 👑Prince👑

Anyway, last remark from me, again impressed by the use of colours and drive to experiment with some different perspectives and the like at times.

✨🐱 RebelVampire 🐱✨

COMIC TEA PARTY END!

Unfortunately, the scheduled Comic Tea Party time is now up~! Thank you everyone so much for reading and joining this week’s chat~! We want to give a special thank you to Dani, as well, for making The Guide to a Healthy Relationship and volunteering it for our reading queue. If you liked the comic, please be sure to support Dani’s efforts however you’re able to. All that being said, if you would like to continue discussing this week’s comic, we highly encourage you to do so~!

For next week, Comic Tea Party will focus on Wednesday7 by Viki Kuli. As always, please use the next several days to read as much of the comic as you would like. We hope to see you next Thursday on July 19th from 5PM to 7PM PDT for the chat~! Until then, happy reading~! Comic: https://tapas.io/series/Wednesday7%20

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #bookclub #book club #webcomic bookclub #webcomic book club #comic bookclub #the guide to a healthy relationship #dani #comic tea party #ctp

2 notes · View notes

atomicsuperhero · 4 years

Text

36 Things I Learned About Gardening in 2019

While gardening is something that's always been part of my life, 2019 was my first year of really embracing it fully. I've had lots of houseplants for many years, but while I've helped, I've never paid too much attention to outdoor gardening or tried to learn too much. Before this year I participated in some gardening with my mum, always filling a few pots of my own with bedding plants, and helping with some stuff (though never enough) in the vegetable garden, greenhouse, and flower beds. But I was never really involved in the planning or seed-starting or anything like that.

In 2019 I fully embraced gardening, and I started the year with plenty of good intentions. Of course, things don't usually go quite as you planned, sometimes for the worse, sometimes for the better. I learned plenty about gardening this year, from failures, successes, and surprises. Here are some of the lessons I learned over the course of 2019.

Don’t book a 21 day trip in the middle of your 120-day growing season. Since I launched into full-time freelance copywriting this year, I realized that I was technically location independent. Thanks to convenient holiday booking by a few friends, I had the opportunity to spend 3 weeks visiting my brother in his new town of Terrace, BC. I had plenty of fun. It was really cool to be able to work from somewhere else. But, my trip was from about July 21 to August 11.

Guess what's happening in the garden in those weeks? Everything is starting to ripen. Particularly, peas need to be picked. Peas are a priority crop for us because we all love garden peas. I was gone and mum basically had to handle the whole harvest herself. It felt pretty shitty. I also missed several other things that were ready for harvest during those weeks. Next year I'll plan my visits before planting or after fall harvest.

I am not organized enough to keep a garden journal I fully intended to keep a garden journal, right from January when we started seedlings, through to the end of the season. It didn't intend it to have long entries, just notes about what, when, and where we planted, significant weather dates, interesting observations, and events. I managed to keep it updated from January 21 until May 12. I think I stopped when I went to Terrace for a week in May, and I never picked it back up. We'll see if I can keep it up in 2020. I did draw up diagrams, with rough estimations of where we planted different vegetable crops this year. I'll do that again next year. Now, I need to find those sheets and make sure they're glued into my garden journal notebook.

THIN the plants. Plant spacing recommendations are there for a reason. When I'm planting things with small seeds, like carrots, I tend to be a little heavy-handed... There's a reason your seed packages have plant spacing recommendations. Follow them. If you don't, you'll end up with smaller vegetables that are often very tangled together. We ended up with pretty small carrots this year, simply because mum and I didn't have the heart to thin them out. So, thin them out, or space your seeds more appropriately.

Garden vlogs are great, but I need to simplify them if I’m actually going to get them up I started a series of garden vlogs at the beginning of May. I enjoyed it, and I liked the idea but found that I didn't have a ton of time for editing the videos and actually getting them posted. My latest vlog went up on August 27. After that, I collected footage for several more end of season vlogs. And I've never got round to editing them together and posting them.

That there actually are plants I can grow in my dungeon basement apartment (more on that in the future) Sometime late in the summer or early in the fall I got the idea to start testing supposed low-light houseplants in my basement suite. My bedroom has two tiny windows, one facing west that gets a lot of shade from a large evergreen and a medium-sized chokecherry tree, and a north window that's under the overhang of a small patio. It's the brightest room in my suite. So, I've collected a variety of supposed low-light plants and I'm watching their progress. So far its been going surprisingly well. I'm hoping to develop these experiments into more regular blog content in 2020.

Follow seeding directions more closely Maybe my first gardening failure of the year was pansies. Seriously, the easiest garden flower to grow. But I screwed something up and lost a full tray of seedlings. I don't remember the exact details, now, but I realized after a couple of weeks that I hadn't followed the seeding directions correctly, which is probably what led to the failure of my pansy seedlings.

Keep your eyes peeled for pests We developed an aphid infestation in our seedlings early this spring. For whatever reason, we didn't notice it until we'd already had our seedlings in the greenhouse for a couple of weeks. Unfortunately, we lost quite a few plants because it was such an infestation when we finally noticed. We did get ladybugs, twice. And they did pretty well. But, we also ended up having to use insecticidal soap, after all our ladybugs had ditched the greenhouse, to finish the job.

Silver Sparkle Pilea is EXTREMELY temperature sensitive Back to my houseplant experiment. I had a silver sparkle pilea. I loved it. But I accidentally let it dry too much once. It hadn't fully died yet, so I started watering it properly again and set it in my west window sill for a little more light. It had popped up one tiny set of new leaves that were looking promising. But then, we had the first night where it got to about -12. That one set of tiny leaves was toasted. The window sills are still pretty warm, and it wasn't touching the glass, but apparently, it was still too cold for it.

Poinsettias are not poisonous They're not. I've had to research this for several articles this year. Poinsettia is not poisonous to people or pets. A 50-pound child would have to eat 500 poinsettia leaves to be in danger. You're going to have issues long before a child eats 500 leaves, namely the fact that your child is clearly part bionic if they like to eat green things that could possibly be construed as healthy. For the record, I ate a leaf off our poinsettia about two weeks ago in the middle of lunch, because people were arguing about it. It is not a delightful flavour, but I had zero ill effects.

Marimo Moss balls are pretty cool I got one. They're fascinating. I'm not sure about the ethical implications of buying them. They seem to be dwindling in numbers in their natural habitat, so probably our fascination with them is not great for their natural survival. On the other hand, perhaps the popularity will help drive some research into them and maybe we'll be able to find out why their numbers are dwindling.

Writing about gardening is actually a real job Seriously. I actually get paid to write about gardening. I don't get paid to write about gardening on my own blog, but one of my main clients pays me to write gardening blogs on a wide variety of topics and it’s amazing.

The more you learn about gardening the more you realize you don’t know There's that quote from Einstein: "The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don't know." This is probably not surprising, but it’s true... I've learned more about gardening this year than in the rest of my life, probably. And the more I learn, the more I realize I know basically nothing about gardening.

Plant more sweet peas! Sweet peas are so easy, and rewarding. The more blossoms you cut, the more flowers they produce. So plant them everywhere. They do need something to climb, so don't plant them out in the open unless you're planning to put some stakes or trellises in for them.

Ferns are dicks Seriously, they just are. Don't try to keep them as houseplants unless you live somewhere that is naturally humid. Ours did fine all summer, and as soon as we started the furnace this fall they were like "NOOOOOOOOOO, I can't go on! I'm going to mope and look like shit forever-more."

Learn to love terra cotta Seriously. I had a few challenges with houseplants this year with overwatering. I have slowly been switching all my houseplants into terra cotta pots, and they're much happier in general. I don't love the orange of terra cotta, but once you have all of your plants in it, it just kind of fades into a background neutral colour and you don't notice it anymore. Terra cotta dries faster and allows you to bottom water.

Overwatering is worse than underwatering As mentioned above, I nearly drowned a few plants this year. They'll die more quickly from overwatering than they will from underwatering.

Freshley overalls from Dovetail are the only gardening pants you’ll ever need. Seriously, get yourself a pair. They are AMAZING.

Rubber gloves for weeding keep your hands and nails cleaner and more moisturized. Legit, these are better than any other gardening glove I've used. Most gardening gloves are too thick for weeding out little weeds, and your hands still end up dried out. Rubber gloves are thin enough that you can grab small weeds and seedlings, you can feel well through them, they keep your hands from drying out. They also last surprisingly longer than expected. The blue painting gloves you can buy at the hardware store are the best. You can take them off and re-use them for several days. Simply leave them inside out, then flip them the right way, blow a little air into them like a balloon to pop the fingers back the right away, and put them back on.

Buy the damn bulbs, you’ll regret it if you don’t My grandma bought tulip bulbs for me and mum this fall. We got them in just in time, it legit started snowing as we covered the last bit up. But, I didn't get any Allium bulbs, because they were pretty pricey, and my budget has been tight this year, and I REALLY wish I had.

Ladybugs are fucking awesome Seriously, they're brutal little pest destroyers. If you have a greenhouse, get some.

Thrillers, Fillers, and Spillers A great guideline for filling planters. Thriller would be something tall and interesting, filler would be something shorter to fill in the mid-level height, and a spiller that trails over the sides of your pots.

Airplants are weird Tillandsia, they just are weird. I'm still learning more about them, and trying to keep mine alive through crazy dry Alberta winter.

Water culture for orchids is a thing Moss is really not that great a medium for orchids. I don't know much about water culture, but I pulled my orchids out of their saturated and rotting moss, and switched them to water culture, we'll see how it goes.

Lettuce is grown outside tasted even better than lettuce from the greenhouse Seriously. The lettuce we grew in the raised garden beds tasted way better than the stuff we grew in the greenhouse, which tastes way better than the stuff from the grocery store.

Fertilize the tomatoes We start the year with good intentions to fertilize our tomatoes in the greenhouse at least once a week. But, then we fall off the wagon and barely keep up with watering. But it’s important. We would have had a much better harvest this year if we'd kept it up. Tomatoes are hungry beasts.

Start your glads EARLY I started my Gladiolus bulbs in pans on April 3rd. I may actually start them even earlier in 2020. They started blooming towards the end of July and lasted all the way through August, and I think there were even a few stragglers left in September. I loved them.

Lemon cucumbers are delightful They're super yummy, try some.

Starbucks plastic to-go cups aren’t good planters They're top-heavy. They don't have drainage, and because they have so much soil, it tends to hang onto the water and not dry out fast enough.

DRAINAGE Everything needs better drainage than I thought it did, hence, switching to terra cotta.

Aphids are assholes Mealybugs are assholes Fungus gnats are assholes I don't think I need to expand on these.

You always need more houseplants Duh.

Tiny pots, like 5" and smaller need to be watered more than once a week in winter. Everyone says "oh you have to water your plants less in winter because they need a period of dormancy. This is true. But if you have lots of houseplants in tiny terra cotta pots, you have got to be vigilant. Terra cotta dries fast in normal humidity, but it dries even faster in dry furnace heated air in the winter. I water my small terra cotta potted plants at least twice a week. Some of the smaller ones even three times a week.

Bottom watering for the win. This is my solution to overwatering. Everything has trays or saucers or is set in a tray for watering. I fill the tray and let them soak up as much as they want. If the water is gone in 10 minutes, I add more, until they stop soaking it up. If there's water left sitting in the saucer after an hour, I dump it.

I am emotionally attached to our trees Late this fall my mum decided to cut down our ornamental crab apple tree. For good reason, it looks beautiful for 2 weeks of the year, and spends the other 50 dropping rotten crab apples on the sidewalk, my car, the driveway, the flower bed, the lawn… But I’m still sad about it. Unreasonably sad.

So there are just a fraction of things I learned about gardening this year. My goal for 2020 is to prioritize writing for my own blog a little more frequently. There are endless gardening things I can talk about, so cheers to more writing and learning about the topics that I'm most passionate about.

#gardening #gardening lessons #learning #learning to garden #garden pests #greenhouse #growing things #garden video #garden writer #garden update #garden planning #gardening alberta #gardening in central alberta #Beginner Gardener #indoor gardening #zone 3 gardening

0 notes

haeroniel-doliet · 6 years

Text

thoughts on ice skating

supposed to be under read more, sorry if mobile is weird!

i mean ive missed multiple weeks and alll in all the society/ practice is quite weird like the beginners teacher dude keeps rambling off about like olympics skating or how higher levels have this and this move and look ive taught that advanced kid over there and heres how they do that technique rather than concretely helping us develop those basic skills that were apparently flawed at. like how do i do that correction youre just showing me bc clearly im about to fall over bc idk how to do it. and i tried being all professional and interested and make the most of it for myself, but cant help the frustration when it goes out of the easy shit into the stupid spins because apparently i just cant do it. be it my skates are too thin or too sharp blades or my ankle is not strong enough or enough support thats why its going bad? idk even but i cant spin. cant do it. idk i kinda know multiple things that are fucking up and its frustrating and annoying and its just not gonna work yknow i can kinda turn 180. no i cant do the multiple spin spin spin that seems so easy. is it my skates or is it my inadequacy? im not getting new skates tho, im only here because i have my own skates a while back, im clearly so shit that im not even gonna be a milkly good figure skater im not gonna get in on that. i might as well do fuckin ballet rather than this. im actually looking into that kinda now id love to try.

ice skating is dumb in the way that ive done it since im a child but never as a hobby, like ive done it with most the time my own owned skates since like 3-4 yrs old like young. but school only ever teaches forwards and basic backwards (apparently its cheating backwards) and basic stop and turns and idk things you learn somewhat naturally and my coolest tricks always been sausages (or bubbles as they call them here) and those are apparently baby level beginner stuff and im just :| yeah i can do those tho. and now ic an do them backwards which is kinda cool, and im more confident one foor skating/gliding. but like never as a hobby so i guess none of that matters, i did try to do intermediate and could keep up to an extent but i guess my basics are so shoddy i wasnt doing well enough for my own standards, and even now looking over tho the teacher is better and more encouraging, everyone seems to be doing crazy tricks and jumps and spins and one leg up fancy shit and im just... ya. guess i cant be over there. cant do it. lemme just stand with mr blabber mouth. it is frustrating bc yeah maybe i wanna be that intermediate level, maybe i wanna go skate with my family/old friends and show off bc look i can do like 3 4 cool things im almost a real skater. but fuck i guess my skates are limiting me and i should try use the rental skates? that are dull af but have better support? idk, ive got blisters from them the last i used them and i dont particularly wanna use shitty skates. but i dunno even what to do, i dont particularly wanna drop on some fancy skates just to find smths wrong again and im shit and cant do it. maybe id suddenly improve and feel a lot better about myself and take it as a proper hobby but realistically nah. im actually kinda frustrated i dont even know if i wanna continue. yes i have a friend that goes, yes i have skates and you only get better by spending time on ice and id like to be better bc only recently ive realised how shit i am, (trust me its confidence boosting to have skated with bambis on ice who are afraid of moving at all and then i can at least go kinda fast if i want) but i cant even turn properly, cant stop properly neither. its just ugh, i dont think im getting as much out of it as i should be, i dont know if its the teachers fault, my skates fault, or my own personality/inability.

no im not doing the dumb kinda competition theyre organising in a few weeks. the criteria for intermediate (that i havent participated in enough anyway recently) is fuckin hops and drags (my skates do not drag! to sharp? idk) and spins and fancy shit i havent even ever tried to. yeah sure i could for the fucks of it do the beginners bc its uh, bubbles forward and backwards that i can do, and i can kind of do the chassee thing kind of. but i cant do a god damn spin for the life of me apparently so i might as well save my 5 pound and ‘pride’. ugh. besides the fun part was that he was talking abt the higher levels leg up glide thing, and had us do it against the wall bc ‘afraid well just face plant’ and i guess i can bring my leg up decently high when supported by the wall which is fun, and otherwise im not the worst of the 5 beginners that showed up. but yeah im just frustrated with it over all. dunno how long the clubs even gonna continue for, theres only one friend there that i would continue for which isnt great considering means i dont consider the others easy to make friends with or ones i could be fond of enough to over look the struggle of the hobby.

i think my plan was to call my dad not only to ask if they had a preference for when my friend would fly down to visit so she could buy her tickets, but i guess also i was going to say about the skate apparently being too soft and too thin/too sharp and express this frustration that i still cant do shit, that maybe even using unsharpened (and uncomfortable) rental skates could be better for skating and just wonder what im even doing abt this all. clearly not competing but idk even if we could just come to observe/skate for fun during the competition etc or if i should just skip to catch up/pack and clean idk. also im kinda annoyed at myself otherwise bc i just tuesday saw with J and shes off for a few weeks and i made such a good verbal plan saying id do an email and a summary im weeeeeks behind on on tuesday evening and prep for class today (didnt prep but it went okay anyway) and today i would have gone to class and to skating with a healthy meal (check check check) and come home to sign up and send the other email thats been bugging me, and then do my report due midnight i havent even started on. said id work after midnight if it was taking so long so id have it done..... i had a nap instead. not even a god damn shower i was planning to have tuesday and now its 3 am on thursday. ayy. sure i could skip classes tomorrow to shower and clean my room and maybe complete a task before i drag myself to an archery arrow lesson and badminton after (no thatll be fun, but ill be back rly late) but ive skipped so many classes and i wana see and be with my friends i might as well go, and if i get abandoned work on work somewhere in between classes and maybe actually get something done? gasp. shock. and still get home and do smth like clean and do dishes to be productive while anticipating fun thing, do it and come home and actually sleep bc im fuckin that over eh. but fuck. its not just that i have 1 overdue summary from two weeks ago, i have another summary due thursday night. maybe, in between classes i could do both, miraculous i guess yes but would be cool. do two summaries, send off both and an apology email for the other, take the spare chance to book myself another experiment if theyre still running and if not send an apology email bc i missed one in class one and ask what now. and then maybe even since the calendar is out get my 3 planned viewings booked so that i can see them b4 going back home and dont get fucked. maybe even add the corrections i got yesterday to my other report. wow wouldnt that be great. i could do them now but i should get to sleep right now heres hoping ill remember the corrections then. and then id need to look at the video for the assignment that was due yesterday and bring up the files and find the debrief and begin filling it in and maybe email researcher if i need to, and do the easy part. so that maybe logical me in a clean room will fill in the ethics part between classes on friday or after class or gasp on saturday bc im not going to st andrews after all... its a lot.. i hate that two days are wasted already. ugh. uGH. well get by. lets just try stay positive, now im going to sleep and wake up to go to my 11 class prepared to do some easy work between classes. yes yes. its probably weird that who ever has read this far has read all this shit and maybe i should just keep my shit personal and not post on my main blog bc surprisingly its open to anyone who just slightly would wanna see it,and though you likely dont know me in person its a bit weird huh idk. maybe this is here so my cousin can read it if she happens to , maybe its so that you can read it and be like ya i do that and i think like that too pretty cool im not alone, maybe its for me to read back and not have to be exposed to my worst ugly vents on my plain vent blog and can remain positive thomaybe not. its under read more anyway. lets try bury it guys.

#and other things #really dont need to read this #though im aware and sorry i guess read more doesnt work on mobile and you might just read this in curiosity and i dont necessarily want #these are just my own thoughts and theyre here to clarify my head. ok

0 notes

littleshopofreaders · 7 years

Text

What inspired you to write your first book?

My first book was a collection of erotic short stories with various supernatural and fantasy themes, and I was inspired to write them after a friend gave me a Black Lace collection and I realized “WOW! You are allowed to write this sort of naughty stuff!”

The first book of this trilogy, Cover Him With Darkness, started life as a short story that appeared in Mitzi Szereto’s collection Red Velvet and Absinthe, and the publisher at Cleis loved it so much that she asked me to write what happened next.

Do you have a specific writing style?

Madeline Moore called me “hardcore and literate.” I love that!

How did you come up with the title of your current book?

“In Bonds of the Earth” is a quote from The Book of Enoch, which is an apocryphal BC text not included in most Bibles, but which is all about fallen angels: “And from henceforth you shall not ascend into heaven into all eternity, and in bonds of the earth the decree has gone forth, to bind you for all the days of the world.”

Is there a message in your novel that you want readers to grasp?

Right and wrong is not about following any set of laws, it’s founded on empathy.

How much of the book is realistic?

It’s a contemporary paranormal about fallen angels, but I put a LOT of effort into making the settings and details accurate. A big chunk is set in Ethiopia for example – so I went to Ethiopia for 20 days. The description of the rock-hewn churches is bang-on accurate…right up to the end of Chapter 9.

Are experiences based on someone you know, or events in your own life?

My real life is not that eventful, believe me!

What books have most influenced your life most?

“The Lord of the Rings.” I’m a geek; I started playing Dungeons and Dragons when I was thirteen. I think everything else has come out of that.

If you had to choose, which writer would you consider a mentor?

Angela Carter influenced my writing style and themes from the start.

What book are you reading now?

“The Tiger and the Wolf” by Adrian Tchaikovsky. It’s an excellent fantasy with a really unusual setting.

Are there any new authors that have grasped your interest?

Samantha McLeod and Sonni de Soto.

What are your current projects?

I’m writing the sequel to In Bonds of the Earth, and the final part of that trilogy: The Prison of the Angels.

Name one entity that you feel supported you outside of family members.

I’ve found the erotica writing community (which is mostly female btw) incredibly supportive, intelligent, and friendly.

Do you see writing as a career?

No – I see it as a vocation, and as my purpose in life.

If you had to do it all over again, would you change anything in your latest book?

I wish I’d made it clear that all fallen angels are left-handed. Too late now, lol.

Do you recall how your interest in writing originated?

I always wanted to write, I think.

Can you share a little of your current work in progress with us?

Egan came up behind me without a word and slipped his arms round my waist, kissing the top of my head, breathing the scent of my hair. Goddamnit; to cut him some slack, I’m fairly sure he didn’t know the effect that had on me– my insides were doing that flip-flop thing that hurt so good. “We need to talk,” he murmured. I knew it! Here it comes. Mr. Rationality. Mr. Consequences. My stomach tightened up like a knotted fist. They were so different, my two loves. Azazel was a creature of appetite and the moment, living for his desires—but Egan lived in the battlemented ivory tower of overthinking, fending off the armies of his libido. Only when he was undermined by illness or exhaustion or drink did he ever fall into recklessness. And me? I was much more like Azazel. I went with my gut instinct. None of this would have happened if that hadn’t been the case.

Is there anything you find particularly challenging in your writing?

After 15+ years of writing erotica, the most challenging thing is writing orgasms without just repeating myself!

Who is your favorite author and what is it that really strikes you about their work?

I have many favorite authors, all wildly different, but the one thing they all have in common is that they have their own creative vision and they don’t compromise it or write to a market formula.

Do you have to travel much concerning your book(s)?

I LOVE travelling, and use the places I’ve been to all over the world as settings or inspiration for many of my stories and novels – even ones set in imaginary worlds.

Who designed the covers?

The cover of In Bonds of the Earth is by Deranged Doctor Design and I’m delighted with it! The publisher and I put a LOT of discussion into getting something we’d be proud of. In fact, input into cover design was my first stipulation in my contract!

What was the hardest part of writing your book?

Writing the main antagonist/villain, in a way that makes it clear they’re awful, yet understandable.

Did you learn anything from writing your book and what was it?

Every time you think you know your characters, they suddenly reveal another layer of complexity.

Do you have any advice for other writers?

If you have an uncomfortable truth to tell about your protagonist, put it in the mouth of an antagonist.

Do you have anything specific that you want to say to your readers?

Read critically. Don’t assume that everything a protagonist says is correct, or is projecting the author’s own opinion. We sometimes write characters that we think are getting it badly wrong.

What were the challenges (research, literary, psychological, and logistical) in bringing it to life?

I was brought up in a Christian (born-again Protestant) family but I’ve had to do a lot of research for this trilogy into other Christian theologies – Catholicism and Serbian Orthodoxy in particular, since my two main human characters belong to those traditions. There are surprising and significant differences that affect how they see the world.

Rapid Fire

Coffee – Tea: BOTH, IN STRICT TURN Boxer – Briefs: BRIEFS Jeans – Sweats: JEANS Silk – Cotton: COTTON iPhone-Galaxy: I DON’T OWN A SMARTPHONE! Rightie – Leftie : LEFTIE Soda-Water: TONIC Cake-Pie: CAKE Rock n roll – Country: ROCK Mountains – Beach: MOUNTAINS Cat -Dog: DOG

Favorite Movie: A Muppet Christmas Carol Favorite TV Show: Game of Thrones Favorite Car: Anything that can fit two greyhounds in the back Favorite Color: Midnight blue Favorite Male Film Star: Tom Hardy Favorite Female Film Star: Eva Green Favorite Fast Food: Chinese Favorite Cocktail: Mojito Favorite Musical Band: Rammstein Favorite Singer: Freddie Stevenson Favorite Song: “Solsbury Hill” by Peter Gabriel

Excerpt from In Bonds of the Earth:

Wrapping the cheap cotton throw from the foot of the bed around my bare body, I padded through to the doorway. The Archangel Michael stood in the middle of my small apartment, looking about him at the book shelves and the pictures. A paperback copy of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo slipped from his hand back onto the low table. “Hello, Milja. Nice place. Has he moved his toothbrush in yet?” It was like waking to find a giant bird of prey in my tiny living room; he looked wildly unsuited to a domestic setting and way too big for it, even with wings furled. In fact, with that Roman nose and those unblinking amber eyes, there was something distinctly golden eagle-like about him. If he stretched out he could knock over walls, I thought. “What do you think you’re doing?” I asked. “This is my home. You can’t just come barging in!” “You’re right,” he said, looking startled. “I have to have your permission. No, hold on, wait…that’s vampires. Shame.” I pursed my lips. “Well, God certainly did not hold back on the sarcasm when he made you guys.” He smirked. If you’re that good-looking, even a less-than-warm smile can be a weapon of devastating charm. Turning to the couch, he sat down with arms draped over the back and knees spread. It was not so much an invitation as a claiming of territory. “What do you want?” I kept my voice hard, even as I thought of the icon of Saint Michael that had stood guard over the key in my father’s church. That holy painting had always made me feel nervous as a child, and he was no less intimidating in the flesh. His piercing gaze rested lightly upon me, with all the gentleness of a sword-point. “Nothing.” His rigger boots were caked in dried mud, I noticed, and flaking on my rug. I wished he would blink. It still creeped me out, even though Azazel should have inured me to it. “Angels aren’t supposed to lie. What are you doing here?” “Waiting.” “So, what…you’re sitting guard over me until Azazel comes back? Is that your plan?” “He’s too much of a coward to face me. Runs every time.” “If that’s the way you want to call it.” He looked at the kitchen door. “I see you have a kettle. You got any tea? I like that Earl Grey stuff. Tastes like flowers.” “I know the rules, you know. You can’t actually do anything to me.” “True enough. And I’m not stopping you leaving, if that’s worrying you.” “I can move out. Get a new place.” “That’s fine, I’ll find you. This apartment’s a bit small for the two of us, to be honest.” I clenched my jaw, weighing my options. “Okay,” I said, and dropped my wrap to reveal my naked body, in all its post-coital salty glow. That wiped the smile off his lips. “Don’t play those games,” he growled, sitting up and looking away from me. Love is Azazel’s weak spot. Shame is theirs. They’re terrified of their own human flesh. “What? Does this make you uncomfortable? That’s a pity, seeing as how it’s my house and I like to walk around it naked.” “You are shameless.” His gaze was sliding all over the place, not daring to settle on me. “I’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.” I hefted my breasts and jiggled them. “They’re my tits. In my apartment. If you don’t want to see, clear out.” “Put your robe back on,” he rasped. “Oops,” I said. “Did I drop it?” Turning my back to him, I spread my feet and, straight-legged, bent over to pick the fabric up again. Nice and slow… He moved so fast he’d launched me across the room and onto my bed before I even realized he was out of his seat. The abused mattress twanged in alarm. It knocked the wind out of me—and more than that, shocked me half to death. I wasn’t in the least bit hurt, not even bruised, but I hadn’t expected him to touch me at all, under the rules. Maybe the Boatman sailed closer to the wind than I’d bargained for. “Don’t do that, whore!” he barked, leaning into my face. He looked furious. I knew why. It takes a human decades to learn how to deal with all the things that come with an adult body—all those hormones and instincts—without losing control. Angels never had the advantage of a gradual introduction. I had two choices: surrender or fight. I bared my teeth and snarled right back at him, matching his rage and contempt. “Or what? You’re going to rape me? ’Cause I think that might just count as a fall from Grace, don’t you? And then you’d be royally fucked, Mister Michael.” He recoiled, drawing himself up in undisguised horror. I took advantage of the gap between us to roll over and pull the drawer of my bedside cabinet open, pulling out the silicon rabbit sex toy I’d been given at my graduation party. I hadn’t used it in months, I couldn’t even remember if there were any batteries in it, and I certainly wasn’t feeling horny, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me. “Wanna watch?” I asked, spreading my legs wide. “Because that’s what us girls do when we’re home alone these modern days. You can go into the other room if it squicks you out to see. Then you’ll only have to listen to the noises I make.” He turned on his heel and stomped away, slamming his hands into the doorframe hard enough to crack the wood. But he didn’t leave altogether. He was just that bit too stubborn.

Blurb:

“I will free them all.” When Milja Petak released the fallen angel Azazel from five thousand years of imprisonment, she did it out of love and pity. She found herself in a passionate sexual relationship beyond her imagining and control – the beloved plaything of a dark and furious demon who takes what he wants, when he wants, and submits to no restraint. But what she hasn’t bargained on is being drawn into his plan to free all his incarcerated brothers and wage a war against the Powers of Heaven. As Azazel drags Milja across the globe in search of his fellow rebel angels, Milja fights to hold her own in a situation where every decision has dire consequences. Pursued by the loyal Archangels, she is forced to make alliances with those she cannot trust: the mysterious Roshana Veisi, who has designs of her own upon Azazel; and Egan Kansky, special forces agent of the Vatican – the man who once saved then betrayed her, who loves her, and who will do anything he can to imprison Azazel for all eternity. Torn every way by love, by conflicting loyalties and by her own passions, Milja finds that she too is changing – and that she must do things she could not previously have dreamt of in order to save those who matter to her. In Bonds of the Earth is the second in the Book of the Watchers trilogy and the sequel to Cover Him With Darkness.

Buy links:

Ebook: Amazon: http://hyperurl.co/cu1pe0 Apple: https://itunes.apple.com/gb/book/in-bonds-of-the-earth/id1201654085?mt=11 Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/gb/en/ebook/in-bonds-of-the-earth Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/books/details/Janine_Ashbless_In_Bonds_of_the_Earth?id=HZMSDgAAQBAJ&hl=en Barnes and Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/in-bonds-of-the-earth-janine-ashbless/1125264279?ean=9781910908099

Print: Support your small publisher and buy direct: https://sinfulpress.co.uk/product/in-bonds-of-the-earth-by-janine-ashbless/ Waterstones: https://www.waterstones.com/book/in-bonds-of-the-earth/janine-ashbless/9781910908082 Barnes and Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/in-bonds-of-the-earth-janine-ashbless/1125264279?ean=9781910908082 Amazon: http://hyperurl.co/fuqprg

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/32996475-in-bonds-of-the-earth Author bio:

Janine Ashbless is a writer of fantasy erotica and steamy romantic adventure. She likes to write about magic and myth and mystery, dangerous power dynamics, borderline terror, and the not-quite-human.

Buyer beware! If you like dark romance and a hard-won Happily Ever After, try “Cover Him with Darkness,” “Heart of Flame,” or “The King’s Viper.” If you prefer challenging erotica, go for “Red Grow the Roses” or “Named and Shamed” instead. All her other books lie somewhere on the spectrum between.

Janine has been seeing her books in print ever since 2000. She’s also had numerous short stories published by Black Lace, Nexus, Cleis Press, Ravenous Romance, Harlequin Spice, Storm Moon, Xcite, Mischief Books, and Ellora’s Cave among others. She is co-editor of the nerd erotica anthology ‘Geek Love’.

Born in Wales, Janine now lives in the North of England with her husband and two rescued greyhounds. She has worked as a cleaner, library assistant, computer programmer, local government tree officer, and – for five years of muddy feet and shouting – as a full-time costumed Viking. Janine loves goatee beards, ancient ruins, minotaurs, trees, mummies, having her cake and eating it, and holidaying in countries with really bad public sewerage.

Her work has been described as: “Hardcore and literate” (Madeline Moore) and “Vivid and tempestuous and dangerous, and bursting with sacrifice, death and love.” (Portia Da Costa).

You can find Janine on Facebook or at her website or blog.

Author picture credit to David Woolfall.

*****

GIVEAWAY!

Make sure to follow the whole tour—the more posts you visit throughout, the more chances you’ll get to enter the giveaway. The tour dates are here: http://writermarketing.co.uk/prpromotion/blog-tours/currently-on-tour/janine-ashbless-3/

<a class=”rcptr” href=”http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/8b9ec5be178/” rel=”nofollow” data-raflid=”8b9ec5be178″ data-theme=”classic” data-template=”” id=”rcwidget_81arkwe8″>a Rafflecopter giveaway</a>

https://widget-prime.rafflecopter.com/launch.js

http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/8b9ec5be178/?

Blog tour organized by Writer Marketing Services.

In the Bonds of Earth by Janine Ashbless What inspired you to write your first book? My first book was a collection of erotic short stories with various supernatural and fantasy themes, and I was inspired to write them after a friend gave me a Black Lace collection and I realized "WOW!

0 notes