#thanks for giving me this time I need to go back to normal!

[moonstruckme]

can i request a doctor!remus fic where maybe reader comes into the er and is very panicked by doctors and hospitals and they call remus in to help because he’s like known for putting people at ease….this may or may not be based on when i freaked out over a needle and they had to bring in a special doctor :l please and thank you and i’m obsessed with your fics <3

Thank you sweetness <3

cw: hospital, needle

doctor!Remus x fem!reader ♡ 1.1k words

Your heart is in your throat. It’s pounding so hard you can feel its beating in your teeth, and no matter how you try you cannot get tears to stop leaking from your eyes. 

“Wait,” you say again, the word a wobbly, tight-voiced mantra. You keep thinking that if you can just calm yourself enough to seem credible, you can reason with these people. Convince them that you’re actually fine, so there’s no need to touch you, or poke you, or try to move your already agonizing shoulder. 

There are already three people in your tiny curtained-off room with you, so when the curtain pulls back and a fourth enters, you angle your hurt shoulder away from him unconsciously. 

“Hello,” the new doctor says. His voice is low and velveteen smooth, cutting through the thrumming panic in your brain like a warm knife through butter. The other doctor and the nurses who have been trying to pacify you fall quiet, seemingly relieved this other man is here. He glances quickly at a clipboard. “Y/n? I’m Remus.” 

“Hi.” You feel pathetic and a bit wild, tears still trudging down your face as you try to keep an eye on everyone in the room, especially the nurse with the needle. They’ve promised you several times now that they’re not going to do anything until you agree, and it’s not that you don’t trust that but you’re wary of anything happening without your notice. 

Remus walks over to you as though this scene is completely normal for him. He takes a seat on the edge of your bed and sets the clipboard down. 

“Are you alright?” he asks, looking as though he’d really like to know. His expression is kind and concerned. 

You give a little laugh, using your good hand to wipe under your eyes. It comes out sounding pitchy and stilted. “I’ve been better,” you admit. Remus’ lips curve in a small, sad smile. “I just, I’d really rather not be here.” 

“That’s understandable,” he replies patiently. He seems the least urgent of anyone you’ve interacted with since you’ve been here, and there’s a tranquility about him that’s contagious. You feel your tears slowing. “This isn’t really somewhere people end up when their day is going according to plan. What is it that’s making you nervous, sweetheart?” 

All of it, you want to say. The doctors and the nurses and the machines and the hair-raising sound of a baby crying a few rooms over. You hate hospitals and you always have. The idea of needing to be in more pain to relieve the one you’re already experiencing makes you feel like you’re trying to breathe through a straw. 

“I don’t like needles,” you say. Understatement of the year. 

Remus nods, seeming to mull this over. “Well, you have a dislocated shoulder,” he says, mouth pinching sympathetically. “The only way to fix that is to put the joint back into its proper place. It’s not the sort of thing that takes care of itself.” As he talks, his hand moves to rest on top of yours, forefinger stroking a slow back-and-forth across the back of your hand. “It can be fairly painful,” he tells you, “and if you move you could make things a lot harder for yourself. So, we’re going to give you medicine to help you calm down and alleviate the pain.” 

In his steady, dulcet voice, the thing that’s been explained to you twice over already sounds a lot more sensible. His thumb works over your hand, light brown eyes gently coaxing.

“The good thing about this procedure is, both parts are done with fairly quickly. And if you’d like me to, I can hold you while Dr. Michaels works, if that’ll help you at all.” 

The other three people in the room are moving again, somewhat slowly, but Remus doesn’t seem to notice. He holds your gaze. 

“Yes, please,” you say tightly. You know it’s an acquiescence. Even as you say it more tears are blurring your vision. 

“Alright, it’s alright.” Remus wastes no time in moving to your side, his hip pressed to yours while he wraps one arm around your middle and uses the other to turn your face into his shoulder. “You’re fine, sweetheart.” 

You feel childish and embarrassed, wetting his scrubs with your tears, but he only sweeps his thumb over your ribs, shushing you compassionately.  

“We’re going to give you the medicine now, try to stay relaxed.” 

You tense when you feel the cold wipe, and a quiet whimper slips past your lips at the bite of the needle. 

Remus’ hand tightens on your head. “You’re okay,” he murmurs. The needle slips out. 

“Breathe,” Remus instructs. You hadn’t realized you’d stopped. You let out a tremulous exhale, and he brushes some hairs away from your face, your forehead still resting on his shoulder. “That was good,” he assures you. “You’re halfway done now.” 

“Thank you,” you say, more than a little humiliated as you swipe the wetness from your cheeks, sniffling. 

Remus offers a small smile. It’s absurd how much it relaxes you. “Don’t mention it.” He looks to the other doctor. “How do you want her for this next part?” 

“Lying down, please.” 

He turns back to you. “Okay? You want help?” 

Your good hand has gone back to holding your shoulder, so he uses a hand on your back to help ease you horizontal on the bed. Once you’re settled he coaxes your hand away, taking it in his own. His skin is warm and scarred in some places, cruel lines that feel like a violation to touch. He doesn’t seem to mind. 

Remus gets you talking, about the fall that landed you in here, your day before that, your life in general. His responses are understanding and amused at times, seemingly genuinely invested in what you have to say. As you speak his thumb is moving over the side of your hand, down to your wrist and back again, slow and hypnotic. A few minutes later, your eyelids and limbs are heavy, the movement of Remus’ thumb the center of your focus as he tells you about one of the many scrapes his ostensibly reckless friends have gotten into over the years. 

“Seems like it’s working,” he says with a little smile. You blink, not having realized he’d finished his story. “How do you feel, love?” 

“Sleepy.” Your voice sounds stretched and lazy. “My arm still sorta hurts, though.” 

Remus makes a sympathetic tsking sound. “Unfortunately, we can’t make all the pain go away, but it will be a lot easier than it would have otherwise.” He trades hands, taking your hand in his other one and using the first to make sure your face is angled towards him. “Don’t worry, I’ll be right here with you.” 

Somehow, that makes everything seem a lot more manageable. 

#doctor!remus lupin #doctor!remus #doctor!remus x reader #remus lupin au #remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x fem!reader #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x self insert #remus lupin fanfiction #remus lupin fanfic #remus lupin fic #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin hurt/comfort #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin scenario #remus lupin drabble #remus lupin blurb #remus lupin one shot #remus lupin oneshot #marauders #marauders fanfiction #marauders fandom #the marauders #hp marauders #marauders x reader

[cheriladycl01]

My love, is mine all mine - Max Verstappen x Norris! Reader x Charles Leclerc Part 6

Plot: Norris' Twin sister is also a driver in the 2021 line up and is in her rookie era. Not only do the commentators struggle to now talk about the pair in the race, but they also struggle to talk about talent. What happens when two drivers find her eye-catching.

A/N: I've brought Luisia into things because of the timeline and it being 2021. Don't hate on her, or the fact that i've brought her into my writing please!

Credit to countingstars-17 for the GIF

After the shit show of a party, you woke up earlier than everyone else and left the docked boat. You caught the earliest flight back to the UK. You were so pissed with your friends and brother that they’d just up and left you in the club.

The whole flight home, you pondered whether you just really needed to grow up about ever situation in your life.

Lando and the clubbing group leaving you? They were drunk and probably saw you with loads of other people and assumed you were safe and good.

Charles admitting his feelings for you? You arguably needed to focus more on your career that you’d worked so hard for, you didn’t have time for boys and if Charlie really did care for you like he said, he would understand.

Max sleeping or dating your best friend? Good for him, he should be happy.

You needed to not be bitter about all of these minor blips in your life and just get on with it.

Little did you know that this would create a version of you so far from her normal bubbly self that even people who hadn’t spoken to you in years would be able to tell something wasn’t right with you.

Max and Charles had both tried to contact you through texts and phone calls all which had been ignored, you knew it was for the best to just let it all go and leave it at a what could have been. You had responsibilities far greater that you needed to focus on.

When it came to after the summer having left your brother and gone travelling on your own, updating your Instagram and family group chat whenever you managed to get wifi, you were back and raring to go for your home race.

Lando had sent a text to the family group chat asking who would be coming. He wanted to invite Luisa and only had two passes to give out. So that would mean one for Luisa and one for his dad.

Lando - Can you give your paddock passes to mum and Flo, Cisca can’t make it because of Uni

Y/N - Kinda awkward i had someone in mind i wanted to bring :(

Lando - come on its mum and your little sister Y/N don’t be rude and give up your pass to some random dude you met in Bali …

You ignored it, before going to McLaren and begging Zac for a spare paddock pass. You gave your original 2 to your mum and Flo, but your next one went to Nathan Bishop, he was a goalkeeper for Manchester United and you’d met him on a trip you’d been doing in Bali and he immediately knew who you were and you guys got talking and one thing led to another and you were inviting each other to your sports.

In the time you’d travelled he’d became a really good friend and you didn’t feel as lonely as you had since starting in F1. It was really refreshing.

You met him before, driving him to the paddock in your McLaren and pulling up into the Silverstone car park together.

“Thanks for the pass, I’ve never been to a race before so this is actually really exciting for me” he smiles waiting as you grab your bag from the back seat.

“Always welcome!” You grinned back.

“Mmmm and I’m excited to see if you are really as good as you say you are!” He teases elbowing you as you swipe your pass through the paddock scanners.

“Hey! I am a good driver! I got you here safely didn’t I?” You smile and he just nods, you point out various bits of the paddock talking about all the hustle and bustle and all the different teams and the workers running around fitting last minute bits to the motorhomes.

“Oh come on! We need to get you some McLaren team merch!” You grin pulling him to the quiet fan zone thanks to the early time it was and going to the merch stool.

“Hiya! Oh Y/N! How are you?” The worker smiles noticing it’s you.

“Hey! I’m really good! How are you? It’s hot today, make sure you drink lots of water! Radio through and ask for top ups yeah? And don’t forget sun cream!” You chide knowing sometimes the workers forget that they are humans and will push themselves till breaking point!

“Thank you! Really and I’m all good” she says flashing you the large icy bottle of water she had behind the stand with her. “What can I get for you?”

“Any chance we can get the Y/N number hat?” You grin turning to look at Nathan who just rolls his eyes but can’t help the smile that comes into his face.

“Sure! We have lots on stock today, as you know it’s home race! Good luck by the way! I know you’ll do great!” She smiles and hands you the number 42 on the baseball cap. You place it on Nathan’s head who just laughs at your antics but keeps that hat on before paying the lady for it in cash.

“Hey! I was gonna pay for it! I’m the one that got you to buy merch!” You exclaim in horror.

“Mmmm but it’s my hat … so I should pay for it!” He explains with a cat like grin.

“Argh fine come on! I want to show you round the garage and do track walk with you!” You say gently taking his hand and pulling him through the growing numbers of people in the paddock.

You showed him all around the garage and even let him sit in your car which he was really impressed with how low to the ground it felt, and how much the halo restricted vision. After showing him the pit wall and all of the engineers working and running around before free practice you took him out onto the track to do a walk.

The sun wasn’t as harsh anymore and it had started to cloud over a little bit meaning that the track walk wasn’t as strenuous as you anticipated it would be.

You guys walked around talking about the season so far and how it felt being a rookie along with Yuki Tsunoda.

Afterwards it was time for you to have a team meeting and you didn’t want to leave Nathan on his own so you walked him to the hospitality suite to find your parents.

“Mum Dad! Hey this is Nathan! Can you just watch out for him while I’m in the car please!” You ask kindly showing Nathan to a seat with your family.

“Of course sweetheart! Hi Nathan, I’m Adam, this is my wife Cisca” he introduces standing up slightly and leaning forward to shake the younger gentleman’s hand.

“You gonna be okay?” You ask, unsure if you should just bring him to the garage and find him a seat and headphones and leave him there.

“Yeah - I’ll be” he starts only for commotion behind to stop his words.

“Sorry, I’m running late. Oh … whose this?” Lando asks looking over to Nathan, someone he didn’t think would be around his family.

“This is your sisters guest, hence the hat” your mum explained pointing to the hat still on Nathans head.

“Right … yeah I just came here to drop Luisa off. Please look after her and … you know don’t be weird” he begs as Luisa starts to talk to both Flo and Nathan.

“We’re never weird! Now you both have to go get ready!” your dad grins forcing you both away.

You start to walk together to the garage in an awkward silence until Lando breaks it.

“So you brought a boyfriend with you?” Lando scoffs looking towards you.

“And what if I did?” What’s it to you, you brought Luisa!” You say looking to him confused why it was such an issue you’d brought a guy (who wasn’t anything to do with you romantically).

“Because your playing with a lot of hearts here Y/N and it’s not exactly fair. First Charles, then Max, then Charles again and then Max and now this guy? Max and Charles are my friends Y/N and I can’t help but feel like your going to go one step too far and ruin all of this …” he complains and for a second your stunned into silence not knowing what to even say.

“How am I toying with Max and Charles when Max is off with my best friend and Charles … is so hot headed that I don’t know if I can take the heat of him yelling at me for an overtake every race weekend! So how am I the one playing with hearts when it’s feels like mines the only one being toyed with, even by my own fucking brother!” You cried out frustrated with him, but that was Lando. He always spoke before he thought about what he was saying. Both a blessing and a curse.

You started to hurry off no longer wanting to entertain this conversation.

“Y/N wait … I didn’t mean it like that” Lando admits speeding up after you and walking in step with you trying to slow you down.

“We have a meeting to get to. Let’s not waste anymore time” you say coldly, so coldly it actually caused Lando to shiver as he never had heard that tone of voice or anything remotely close come from you.

Briefing for what it was, was pretty boring only talking about the upgrades they’d brought to this weeks Grand Prix. Lando had the full package and you had half, the others to come next week in Hungary.

You were in the garage after changing into your fireproofs, your race suit hanging down off your hips talking to your engineer about strategy for Silverstone, but it was always changeable depending on the track temp and the weather.

FP1 clearly showed Landos new flashy upgrades and how much quicker it made the car placing him in P2 in between Max and Lewis, the two battling it out for the championship this year.

As for you down in 9th you’d just been testing the track and were on different tyres to the top few people, wanting to test out the hards.

As the weekend progressed and the less you concentrated on all of yours issues and just had fun while concentrating on the race weekend you got better. Ending up starting in a decent P6 for the race and getting points in the Sprint that was held earlier on in the day.

“Okay Y/N, it’s looking like Plan B. Reports of rain on the radar for the last half of the race” your engineer says as you pull up into your P6 stop, next to Lando both your Orange McLarens locking out your row.

“Okay, do we have a pit plan?” You ask knowing you were on mediums in hopes they’d last long enough to get you onto Intermediates or Wet if it’s due to rain that badly.

“We’re checking now, looking into stuff with Lando too and seeing what the other teams and looking at doing, but looking like Pit Plan E”

“Yep, copied” he grit out unhappy that they are already prioritising your brother.

“Well Y/N let’s get racing for you first F1 home race! Lecelrc and Bottas in front of you and Lando, Alonso and Vettel behind you and both. And then Max and Hamilton front row” he explains, you knew you had to get a good start to overtake your brother and possibly Charles if there was an opening so as you were driving round the formation lap, you cleared your mind of everything but racing.

Taglist:

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#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #formula 1 x you #formula 1 #formula one #formula one fanfiction #charles leclerc #charles leclerc masterlist #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc fic #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc imagine #cl16 one shot #cl16 x you #cl16 x reader #cl16 imagine #cl16 #cl16 x y/n #cl16 fic #cl16 fluff #max verstappen fluff #max verstappen x you #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen f1 #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen #mv1 x you

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for venting?

Emojis, so I can find it later 💯⁉️💥 (unrelated, I just use them a lot)

So I(16) have been struggling with depression since I was, like, 10. It's been worse and better over the years, but something that really triggers it is extreme weather. Dunno why, but if its hot as fuck outside I *will* be considering suicide.

I regularly go to sleepaway camp every year. I usually do two weeks and usually go during the summer rainy season. Well, a year or two back (can't remember, got that depression and ADHD memory loss) I went later on in the summer than I usually do, and it was really fucking hot out. The whole time.

I could deal with it for a couple of days, especially because I was having a bit of romantic tension with J(16) (not real name, not even real initial). "I can survive any situation as long as I have a crush on someone there", or whatever that post said. He was really sweet and also suffered from depression. We talked about our struggles together, and he seemed to be responsive and chill about it. He did have trauma from his past with loved ones committing suicide, but he seemed to have worked through his grief and didn't have negative reactions when it was mentioned.

Here's where I might be the asshole. Eventually, the heat got to be too much for me, not to get too graphic but I was making plans, so I sent my parents a letter asking to pick me up. I waited a couple days for them to recieve it, and they did and called and said they would pick me up in the morning.

I delivered the news to everyone by being quite vague about what I had to go home for. When pressed, I said my parents didn't give any details and I was a little worried. That explained my acting weird away to everyone, but not J. He didn't believe me for one minute, and was determined to get to the bottom of it.

He took me outside, asked me what was wrong, and told me it was ok to tell him. It took a little convincing, but I eventually broke down and told him I was having suicidal ideation and that I needed to get the fuck out of dodge or I might do something drastic. I specified that I would be completely fine once I got out of the oppressive heat and humidity, just that I had to go home ASAP. I did ask him not to tell anyone because I didn't want them to worry, which I realize now was unkind. I should have at least told a counselor so that he wasn't alone.

Anyway, he immediately started having full-fledged PTSD flashbacks. I couldn't tell at first, but then I realized what was going on and tried to comfort him. It didn't work. The counselor that came check on us just kicked me out. I went back inside feeling guilty, but I was hoping that I reassured him enough that he would be ok.

He acted normal for the rest of the time I was there (we even kissed! That was my first kiss) and made me promise to text him when I got home. Naturally, I did, reassuring him and telling him I was feeling infinitely better now that I had air conditioning and my phone. When he got home from camp a week later, he seemed a little freaked out but seemed to be mollified by my texts.

However, a couple days after that, he texted me out of nowhere, saying that I shouldn't have told him about what I was going home about because I gave him constant PTSD flashbacks for the rest of camp. He felt sick with worry the whole time. I felt like shit, obviously, so I responded with profuse apologies. He seemed to accept them but still feel a little resentful.

I still feel really fucking bad about it. I actually haven't told anyone I know IRL about. Well. Pretty much anything bothering me since. I know that's a bit of an overreaction, but I don't want to do that to anyone else.

So, am I the asshole?

(By the way, if you were there or know me, I would love it if you could just ignore this. Please and thank you. And also never make me know you read this cause that would be embarrassing as fuck lol)

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

[cosmichymns]

Not beta read. All spelling errors are mine. On AO3.

When Two Halves Split

You and Emily walked into your shared high rise DuPont Circle apartment after landing back in Quantico about 50 minutes ago with used go-bags that got dropped unceremoniously by the front door. You were tired, sore, embarrassed, and still felt dirty. You could sense Emily was tense, with worry still etched in every line of her face.

You hadn’t meant to be so careless but over the past year, since Emily had become Unit Section Chief, it had been sinisterly creeping up on you. It started with little things like volunteering for more physical roles along the likes of Morgan and Alvez. Your strength had never been an issue. Then it graduated to losing your cool with the local police force much easier than your normally calm and collected temperament usually allowed. Within the past six months it had escalated to charging into potentially dangerous buildings without waiting for backup or clearing scenes. It had gotten to the point that even Rossi, your more physically and emotionally reckless boss, had to pull you aside a few times.

“Can I run you a shower, love?” The low timbre of Emily’s voice rolled through your body, causing you to snap out of your reverie.

Without looking to her, you shook your head while making your way to the kitchen for a glass of wine. You poured two glasses but leaned against the counter, facing Emily, taking a few sips before walking to your wife and handing her the other glass. She accepted it, took a small sip, and continued to study you.

“Thank you,” she murmured, holding the glass with two hands and allowing her fingers to tap along the side. “Just let me help you wash your hair. There’s still a but of dirt in your hair.” You let her run a cool hand through your loose auburn curls, proving her point as a small clump fell to your shoulder.

Dirt. The dirt was everywhere but that’s what happens when an unsub attempts to bury you alive and then when you struggle, shoots the disturbed earth, grazing the side of your deltoid. It still stung. Thankfully it only needed a few stitches. Just another scar for the book, you had thought as Alvez’s hands dug you out of the earth. JJ had called Emily right away, as she always did when you inevitably made a shit choice, and your wife arrived halfway across the country in record time.

You sighed, giving in and knowing she was right with a small forced smile. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

Emily let her hand carefully run from your hair, over your good shoulder, down your arms until she found your hand, and fingers interlaced. She led you across the stylish yet homey apartment to the en-suite master bathroom. She sipped her wine as she turned on the tap and her fingers tested the temperature. You stood there awkwardly, watching her as she bent over to test it again.

“Do you need help, hmm?” Emily asked, setting down her now empty glass and turning to you. She made no move until you answered.

“Please?” You answered, suddenly feeling overwhelmingly needy and small.

Emily hummed quietly in response as she took your glass and started to delicately unbuttoned your shirt. You looked down, watching her recently picked at fingers remove layer by filthy layer. You instantly felt a pang of guilt at the sight of her pale, long digits. They looked fresh and not filled scabbed over and knew you were the cause. You sighed again and closed your eyes to avoid seeing the damage you caused.

Before you knew it, you were both under the spray of hot water. The bathroom lights were dimmed, a few candles lit along the windowsill, and Emily had secured a waterproof bandage over your stitched up muscle. Her hands were dotingly massaging your scalp with your favorite peony scented shampoo. Your hands clung tightly to her shapely waist, letting her care for you.

You had missed her physical presence of this last case, as well as the past four others. You missed sharing a hotel room for as many hours as the team could spare before getting up to do it all over again. JJ had offered to share a room while you but you had declined politely each time.

“Y/n?” Emily questioned softly, the inflection sounding like it wasn’t the first time she had quietly called your name. “Sweet girl?” Her fingers so gently lifted your chin up so your eyes met.

“Yes? I’m sorry… I was just…” you let your explanation trail off. She already knew.

“Sit for me?” Her fingers were carding through your clean, wet hair, coaxing you into the present.

“I think I’m done.”

“Y/n, please humor me.”

“Emily, I just want to…”

“Sit.”

The assertive tone in her voice sent a shiver down your spine, your body knowing what it meant. You looked up at her, immediately searching her face for any type of annoyance, and finding none. Knowing it was a 50/50 shot, your subconscious chose defiance as you set your jaw. She raised a greying eyebrow, a silent warning. You knew she always made good on punishments regarding your bratty behavior.

You stifled a huff, never broke eye contact, and slowly took your time sitting down in the tub, which you didn’t realize was now half full of steaming water. You had no idea why you were challenging her over the most minuscule things, especially when she was only trying to help. Trying your wife at this juncture was in no way an intelligent choice. Saying nothing, Emily held your gaze for a few moments more than necessary while standing tall above you then sat behind you, pulling you to her bare chest.

Over the course of ten minutes you sink into her embrace, melting your body into hers, as she gently kisses under your ear and partially down your neck. The kisses aren’t insistent or pushy. They’re soothing and full of affection. Unexpectedly, your eyes start to burn and fill with scorching tears of embarrassment and confusion. She shushes you tenderly as you turn your head to the side, visualizing her out of one blurry eye. She brings a hand up and rests it above a breast, anchoring your body to hers. She kisses along your cheekbone up to the corner of your eye as angry tears finally give way.

“Oh, my sweet love,” Emily murmurs with a quiet devotion.

Emily doesn’t attempt to dispel your tears. She doesn’t downplay or ignore them. She also doesn’t try to rationalize them. You lean your face into the crook of her warm neck as you close your eyes, trying to assuage your emotions. Emily gently runs her free hand over your good arm patiently.

“I don’t know why.” You say softly once your breathing has evened out.

“Why what, love?”

“Why I’m so… so reckless. So stupid. It’s just gotten worse and… thoughtless. Impetuous. That’s not who I am but…” You shake your head roughly, pulling yourself from the mold your body has made against her. She lets you.

“Hmmm…” Emily just hums, leaning her head against the edge of the deep clawfoot tub but keeping eye contact with you.

“I don’t want anything dangerous to happen to me but it almost always does because I’m so… untethered.”

“And why is that, do you think?”

You turn in the tub to face Emily, your legs finding their way around her hips and behind her back. She pulls you into her lap, hands on your waist. The dim flickers of the candle throw dancing shadows across her face. You try not to look to closely at her ever deepening worry lines, some which you know for a fact you have caused. You run a thumb tenderly back and forth along the fine crows feet lines that extend from the corner of her eyes like a burst of sunlight. She smiles, dimples popping, at your loving gesture.

“It hasn’t been the same for a while.”

“Since I’ve become Section Chief?” she ventures.

You think on it for a moment. “Actually, yes.” You looked at her questioningly but she doesn’t elaborate, just studies you carefully. “I know you’re only a phone call away and in most cases you and Garcia are a reliable, steady stream through our ear pieces but…” You pause. “It’s not the same.”

Emily nods encouragingly, her brows furrowing slightly as your thumb slows to a stop. She thinks she knows where you’re going with this because it’s something that she’s keenly aware of on her end.

“I miss your presence,” you continue. “Your physical presence. We used to be paired together so often when you were a field agent… but this is by no means your fault.” You added the last part quickly. “I just feel a bit…”

“Unstable.” Emily finishes the sentence knowingly, chewing on the inside of her cheek and letting her dark eyes drift to the ceiling.

“Mmhmm”, you hum in acquiescence. “I don’t want you to feel bad or guilty or like you caused this because in no means-“ You cup your hands around both cheeks, gently tilting her head down to meet your eyes. “-your fault in the least. I need you to understand that. I feel so silly for acting out subconsciously like a petulant teenager whose frontal lobe isn’t fully formed. At least they have an excuse.”

Emily is silent for a moment, as if she’s not sure she should say what she’s thinking. You don’t push but instead run you thumbs delicately over her high and sharp bone structure. Without realizing it, your eyes have dropped to her lips while you lick yours in anticipation of her voice. She notices right off the bat and smiles sweetly, leaning forward and placing a chaste kiss on your lips as you sigh.

“I’ve asked JJ to watch over you more but that doesn’t appeared to have helped much,” Emily finally says.

“And I’ve asked Garcia about you…”

At this you both share a quiet laugh. Everything about this woman is addicting. Her lips, her eyes, her laugh…

“I can’t have you hurting yourself because you miss me though, Y/n. It’s not fair to either of us or the team. Can you honestly say you can get this under control?”

You sigh again, sliding down her body just a touch so you’re able to rest your head on her chest, right under her chin. She extends her neck back a bit, giving you more room to get comfortable. You run your pruned fingers down her strong, lightly muscled arm, worrying your bottom lip with your teeth.

“It’s never on purpose. Like I don’t plan to go into the field and fuck around and find out with an unsub. It’s hard to control my environment and without a doubt count on the rest of the team like I did with you. I never thought I would become this needy, clingy partner. I had always despised and even looked down on it… but feeling your warm skin on mine, your strong heartbeat in my ear…” You take a shaky breath, your eyes starting to burn again. Nothing you’re saying feels like it’s making the least bit of sense. “It is the epitome of everything. You’re everything. I was spoiled to work with you as much as I did and I need to realize it can’t always be like that. I have to-“ You scrunch up your nose. “-share you.”

You feel Emily stifle a small giggle underneath you and rub her own pruned fingers along your spine and over your hips. She was waiting for an answer.

“I’ll… I’ll talk to Employee Health, I suppose but I feel like I would be able to work through it on my own.”

The second the sentence slipped from your mouth your light eyes met her dark ones, assessing and reassessing. “We can try whatever you want to, my love. I’ve been considering making my presence more known in the field as well. I didn’t realize how much I would miss it. And miss you too.”

The two of you relaxed in the expensive bath for a few more minutes before drying off, redressing with Emily checking your injury, and wandered into the bedroom. Once the both of you were settled and cuddling in bed, your head once again on Emily’s chest and your injured shoulder facing the ceiling, your eyes drift slowly closed.

“We still have yet to talk about that little defiant stunt in the bathroom…” Emily’s low voice broke the comfortable silence with a tinge of playfulness.

‘Oh no…’, you thought

#emily prentiss x reader #emily prentiss #Emily Prentiss x red headed reader #criminal minds #criminal minds evolution #grey haired Prentiss is hot #fluff with light angst

[perfectsunlight]

( 𝟮𝟴 ) ✏ 𝘄𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗮 𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗲 (𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗳 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻)

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: none

𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀: 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘃𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲

“what are you wearing?” minjeong said slowly, brows furrowed as she set her bag down and took a seat in front of you. she was used to your usual overdressed sense of style, but this was entirely different today. 

you raised your eyebrows at the president before moving your hair to show your outfit off more. “do you not like it?” the two of you had agreed to meet at a cafe near the university since jennie had an at home interview today and they wouldn’t be able to hold their session at their usual spot. soft jazz played in the establishment while minjeong got settled in her seat. 

the blonde’s eyes scanned your ensemble as her confusion deepened. she gently shook her head before turning her attention to her book bag, unzipping it as she spoke.“it’s not that i don’t like it. it’s just unexpected. did you have something special planned today?”

you glanced at your watch, biting your lip in thought. “well, actually, yes. i’m going out after we’re done.”

minjeong blinked, her expression shifting from confusion to surprise. “isn’t your exam review tomorrow morning? you’ll be tired.”

you shrugged nonchalantly before rolling your eyes. “you sound like my sister.”

smu’s president forced a chuckle, her fingers fumbling with the zipper of her bag. “i just want you to do well,” she said softly, her eyes avoiding yours. “your hair looks cool.” you said as casually as possible, not even looking at the girl while you complimented her. 

the blonde felt her face heat up slightly before mumbling a quick ‘thanks’ as she handed you a pencil. “so where are you going?”

you smiled, a hint of excitement in your eyes. “i have a date.”

minjeong didn’t know why her heart sank, though she managed to keep her expression neutral. “oh, that sounds nice,” she said, forcing a small smile. “who is this mystery person?”

“is this an interrogation, president?” you snickered as you adjusted your top. the other girl laughed, though it felt hollow. “because i need to know if i’m still driving you home tonight,” she said, trying to sound nonchalant. “i like having a plan.”

you rolled your eyes playfully. “well, don't worry, you won’t have to.” your hands flipped open your notebook and slid it to minjeong. it was customary to start your sessions with minjeong grading the homework she gave to you the previous session.

minjeong took the notebook, her eyes scanning the pages, but her mind was elsewhere. she forced herself to focus, scribbling notes and comments in the margins. the usual rhythm of your sessions provided a temporary distraction, but the thought of you on a date kept creeping back into her mind. 

her gut feeling told her it was wonyoung. she didn’t like the feeling of wony going on a date with you. not because she liked you or anything, but because the taller girl wasn’t a good person.

well, that was minjeong’s logic anyway.

the usual session proceeded like normal, with you diving into the material and minjeong guiding you through the concepts. despite the concepts you were still struggling to understand, you both managed to focus and make progress. 

your work always felt easier to do when she was present. minjeong truly was gifted, and you could see it in everything she did.

as the time neared 7:30, minjeong took out a red pen and started writing you some practice problems. “am i driving you to your date?” she said as a half joke, but also a half real question. you chuckled and shook your head. “no, she’s picking me up here.”

“wonyoung?” the president questioned in a manner as nonchalant as she could muster. your swift nod was the only answer you gave. 

minjeong’s stomach churned, but she forced a smile. “alright then. i hope it goes well.” she slid your notebook back across the table to you and put her pen away.

“thanks,” you said, giving her a grateful smile. “thank you for your help, again.”

minjeong nodded as she rose to pack her bag, but didn’t leave her seat. “are you going on a date too?” you teased as you noticed the other girl hadn’t left yet and it was already close to 7:45. 

minjeong laughed lightly, shaking her head. “no, no date for me tonight. i just want to make sure you’re okay before i leave.”

you appreciated her concern, but tried to downplay it. “i’ll be fine, really. jennie didn’t pay you to babysit me.” you joked, earning a raised eyebrow from the blonde. “i’d rather not upset your sister.”

you glanced at your phone, checking for any messages from wonyoung, but there were none. “everything okay?” she asked, trying to keep her voice casual. you sighed, putting your phone down. “she’s late. maybe she got held up?”

minjeong bit her lip, feeling a mix of anger and sadness for you. “i’m sure she’ll be here soon,” she said, though she wasn’t entirely convinced. “try calling her?”

and so you did, only to be left with dial tones and a voicemail greeting. 

“she’s probably driving,” you said quickly and put your phone down again. minjeong hummed in feigned agreement, already having a feeling that wonyoung would not be coming.

another fifteen minutes passed, and minjeong’s concern grew. you kept glancing at your phone, checking the time and your messages. it was clear that wonyoung wasn’t coming, and your initial optimism was long gone.

finally, you sighed, slipping your phone back into your bag. “i guess she’s not coming,” you said, trying to sound nonchalant but failing to hide the hurt in your voice.

minjeong’s heart broke at the tone in your voice. any other day, she would make fun of you or crack a joke. maybe even laugh at you. however, today she felt like just being supportive.

to be honest, she never wanted to see you upset. and to see you so disappointed over a girl who wasn’t worth it? it broke her heart. 

“we can just go out instead.” the blonde suggested as she rose from her chair and swung her bag over her shoulder. you raised an eyebrow at the girl, smirking slightly as you also stood.

“like a date?”

“no, just like how we always go out.” the president quickly responded as she held the door open for the both of you to walk. “you’re holding my door open? seems like a date to me.” minjeong’s blush only deepened before she rolled her eyes at you. “you know what, i’m taking you home.” minjeong huffed in annoyance. a grin crawled onto your face as you decided to keep teasing the president.

 “are you going to open my car door too?” 

“i’m actually going to lock it so you can’t get in.”

𝗧𝗔𝗚𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧: @silantryoo @forever-in-the-sky2 @rosiehrs @urfriendlylocalidiot @chaewonluvsme @zhivaxo @baebeefyburrito @jisooftme @winterlve @mina1vr @rgxjsss @uzumakioden @bexisbomb @tzuyuscloud @cwpiqwon @dream-chasers-things @demtions @sewiouslyz @jeindall777

@writingficsblog @ad0rechuu @lauxymy4 @awkwardtoafault @popstaryunjin @hibernatinghamster @tocupid @myothegreat @yerevies @alexxis10 @sighsam @ddeulgiheree @kikelikesmc @ddoxhan @justalittledissociation @jenaissantex @captivq @lea-pg @skisk1 @justme-idle @neuftaeng

CLOSED.

#smau #kpop smau #aespa smau #aespa x reader #winter x reader #minjeong x reader #wlw #crack fic #kpop crack #fluff #the variable #perfectsunlight

[terminallydiseased]

content warning — nsfw (lewd), normal guy x ftm reader, handjob.

author's note — this will be the only elevator hitch related ill make here probably. unless you guys want me to do more. also hypogastrium is the part of the central abdomen which is situated below the region of your stomach just in case if youre wondering

summary — stress relief from your boss!

"sir..." you mutter breathlessly as your boss, normal guy, curls his fingers inside you, thrusting them in and out on time. he found you so pretty like this, he could feel your legs shaking, your panting echoing in the elevator making this even more exciting for him.

"you've been overworking yourself, (reader), you need to relax." he uses the same tone he always use, soft and slightly cheery. you don't know how he does it, but you found it really fascinating. his other hand was on your side as you sit behind him, you could feel his normal breathing tickling your neck, your body shivering from the sensations.

"i.. i'd like to thank- gHK- AH-!" your back arches as your boss' fingers finally finds that one specific sensitive spot inside you, making him hum in content and curiosity. "oh? what seems to be the issue?" he continues moving his middle and ring finger inside you, continuously hitting your sensitive area.

whimpers and moans were threatening to escape from your lips, but instead you muffled them, covering your mouth with one of your hands, hips bucking with your boss' fingers. your pants that was around your knees slightly going lower from your movements. "things like this can be a stress relief, i've heard." he leans down slightly to kiss your neck, earning another muffled whine from you.

his thumb caresses the strands of hair of your hypogastrium, continuing his ministrations, you could feel a knot starting to form in your stomach, it felt like it was about to snap any second as well. "b-boss, please, please..." you sob, gripping one of your boss' clothed calves.

"well, what are you waiting for? let go." as soon as you heard those words come out from his mouth, the knot in your abdomen snapped, you let out a strained cry, body convulsing as you came all over his fingers and palm. "ffuh- mmngh..." you were panting and heaving as you felt your boss pull his fingers out, letting out another hum.

he pulls himself away from you completely as you press half of your body against the elevator wall, watching him stand up, giving you a closed eye smile.

"rest for a moment, (reader), and then ready yourself back to work."

divider, banner.

#mina writes (∩ ∩) #ftm reader #male reader #normal guy x male reader #elevator hitch x reader #rainforest pussy enjoyer (me) #sub male reader #smut drabble

[roonyxx]

Healing Love: Part 2

Summary: You have a normal life as a nurse, and you are content with it. But then a storm called Dean Winchester rolls into it and you get swept away by his charms. But secrets linger and threaten to drown you both.

Pairing: Dean x Witch!nurse!reader

Word count: 2455

Chapter warnings: angst, wounds and medical stuff (i am no professional and have no idea what the real treatments are), fluff.

support me :)

Healing Love Masterlist

My Masterlist

Deviders made by @firefly-graphics, give her some love!

The day at work seemed to last forever but eventually your shift ended and you hurried home, you jumped in the shower to shave, scrub, wax, all of it.

By the time you fed Quinn and are all dressed up it is seven.

You check your phone, no news. Which is not abnormal, he might be driving.

You sit on your porch while waiting for Dean to show up.

Seven thirty rolls around and no news.

You dare to send him a little text.

“Hey, it was seven at my place, right?” you send to him.

No answer. It’s not even read.

Quinn can feel your sadness at being stood up and lays his furry head on your lap.

“Perhaps he’s just late.” You tell him while stroking his ears.

Or he stood you up…

Around eight you go back inside and take off your heels. You really thought he liked yesterday’s kiss…

Was it a bad kiss? To you it was the best kiss ever. But maybe not to him? Is that why he ghosted you?

A smile blooms on your face when you hear your phone ringing, but as soon as it came it fades at the unfamiliar number.

“Damn spammers.” You mutter while hanging up.

Was it a little high hopes on your side that Dean wanted to go out on a date with you? Maybe… he is extremely beautiful. But he was the one who suggested it. It made no sense.

The number pops up on your screen again and you grunt while you hang up. Only for the number to pop up again.

“Jeez this one is motivated.” You sigh.

You stare at the number, maybe it’s work?

Not like you have plans for tonight anyway. You pick up.

“Hello?”

“Is this Y/N?” A strange voice asks you, but there is something similar about it.

“Yeah? Who is asking?” You frown.

“My name is Sam, I’m Dean’s brother, we need your help.” He sounds in a hurry, or worried even.

“My help?” That couldn’t be good…”Where is Dean?”

“He got hurt, badly… I know you don’t know me but- but he needs you. I will send you coordinates, could you come to us?”

“If he’s hurt badly he needs to go to a hospital.” You say, hurt again? Yesterday the cut, today this…

What are they involved in?

“That’s not an option, please Y/n, I- I don’t think he will get through the night without you.” He sounds so desperate.

Rubbing your face you grab your big bag for emergencies. “Send me the address, I will come.”

“Thank you” he sighs with relief “I sent the text, you text me when you’re here. Hurry please, Y/n.” And then he hangs up.

Walking with your big bag to your car you check the coordinates.

Who uses coordinates? You put them in your gps and see it’s just on the edge of town. You speed down the roads to get there within thirty minutes.

You get out of your car and frown, there is nothing but an old factory and woods here.

You send your text to Sam, telling him you’re here.

The big metal door of the factory opens with a loud creak.

“Y/n! Hurry, he’s in here.” Sam says from the opening.

You hurry down the little steps and follow Sam inside and look over the railing with wide eyes.

This isn’t an old factory…

The magic inside you immediately reacts to the sigils that are hidden in the walls. This whole building is magical, powerful. Your magic eases against the sigils with a soft hand, reassuring them you are not a threat. Once they are soothed they stop oppressing you like an intruder.

Inside is a very big room with many lights and machines you don’t understand. A big world map table lighting up in the middle.

And on that table is an unconscious Dean, bleeding heavily from his stomach and his face is covered in blood from a cut you can’t see.

“Oh god…” You run down the few stairs and get to the table.

“What happened!” You scream at Sam while you get to work.

Ripping open your bag you get out your stethoscope and listen for his heartbeat. It’s there but weak…

Bloodpressure is too low, he lost a lot of blood…

“What is his blood type?” You ask while cutting open his shirt.

His stomach… It’s shredded, this needs a surgeon, not a nurse.

“His b-bloodtype uhm” I can see Sam shaking in the corner of my eye, “we’re both O.” He eventually says.

“Sam…”

“I can’t explain what happened, he got c-cut open. Please… do something.”

“I’m not a surgeon.” You pant, the panic and magic rising within you.

He needs my magic but…

But the way he gets hurt every day, no hospital, the magic of this place...

Your eyes water while looking at his unconscious face, of course he has to be a damn hunter…

Hunters murdered your friend ten years ago. You swore to her to never get near a hunter again, it was the last thing she asked of you.

You have plenty of catheters and bags to make a blood transfusion. It’s not at all like the protocol in the hospital but it will have to do.

You can’t let him die.

“Sam, you need to get me some tape, water, a bowl, a lighter, and all the bandages you have. Go now.”

Sam nods and runs out of the room.

Giving you the chance to be alone with Dean.

You put on your gloves and start cleaning his stomach as much as possible to see the damage.

Definitely werewolf claws…

You grunt, “I can’t stitch this much shredded skin…”

You look over your shoulder to make sure Sam isn’t here and take off your gloves to start rubbing your hands together.

They heat up and start glowing with a golden light, you make your hands hover over his wound.

It is impossible to heal it all, your magic untrained and rarely used. But you will do what is possible.

You know that with training you would be able to heal a lot of things, but using it is very dangerous and it drains you. A lot.

You focus on healing the cells of his intestines, healing every precious organ that is inside, then you focus on the peritoneum, the bag that seals the intestines.

Sweat is forming on your brow and you wipe it away with your sleeve to prevent it from falling inside his wound.

Dizziness is creeping in and you push your magic to knit his stomach muscles back together and heal the edges of his wound, you can stitch them when they are less shredded.

You are panting heavily by the time your magic runs out. But you check his wound and are satisfied to see his muscles are perfectly closed.

You thread your needle, black spots are creeping into your vision but you push through.

Sam comes running in with everything you asked for.

“Tell me what to do.” He says.

“Check his head, find the cut and tell me if it’s deep, clean up as much as you can.”

He nods and does exactly that while you stitch his layers of skin back together.

“It’s not deep but bleeding hard, it’s just on the edge of his hairline.”

“Keep pressure on it and use butterfly bandage to put it back together. It should hold.”

I finish with my stitches and put a big bandage over his stomach, then wrapping a compression bandage around his entire waist to keep it all in place.

You move next to Sam to check Dean’s head, it is indeed not very deep and what Sam did will be sufficient.

You go to Dean’s arm and put in a catheter, you give him some antibiotics to fight of any bacteria that got in his open wound and a shit ton of pain killers, then you move to Sam.

“Sam, sit, he needs blood.”

You grab his arm and start drawing blood to make a transfusion.

After Sam donated the maximum he can, you make shift a pole to hook the blood bag so it can slowly enter Dean.

“You’re both very lucky to have O.” You sigh, exhaustion is starting to claim you but Dean can’t stay on the table, he needs to be comfy. You give Sam just a little time and hand him a cookie to get his sugars up.

“Can you carry him?” You ask Sam.

He nods “I can. W-will he be okay?”

“He can’t stay on the table. I don’t know yet, I gave him a lot of pain meds, he should wake up in a few hours, or his heart can stop from the trauma.” I say as my eyes stay on his chest, that’s slowly moving up with each breath he takes.

Alive. He’s alive.

Sam carefully picks Dean up. You stay close, making sure the blood bag stays above Dean’s head.

Sam walks him through the enormous building and reaches what you presume is Dean’s bedroom and puts him in the bed.

You arrange his pillow and cover him so he doesn’t get cold, then grab a chair and sit next to his bed.

You take off your smart watch, turn on the sound and wrap it around Dean’s wrist, a faint beeping noise sounding that follows the rhythm of his heart.

“Get some rest Sam, I will be here, if his heart stops, my watch will make an alarm noise, I will stay here, making sure he’s okay.”

“I want to stay here.” He argues.

“I can’t have you in the room when he crashes, which is a chance. Go to bed, try to rest. You will need your strength when he wakes up.”

If he wakes up…

Sam gives a little nod and reluctantly leaves.

You slump in the chair and watch Dean breathe. The exhaustion will claim you soon, so you learn forward and touch his chest, putting your very last magic into his heart. The weak rhythm of his heart starts to pick up,  with your magic it became stronger.

With the reassurement that he won’t die, you stop fighting the exhaustion and pass out.

“Y/n?” you hear your name being faintly said, but your eyes won’t open just yet. Your body feels as if it is submerged in deep dark waters, every movement feels heavy and hard.

“Y/n?” your name is repeated, and you can feel yourself rising up to the surface of consciousness.

Your eyes peel themselves open and made contact with two spring forest green eyes.

Dean.

Dean!

Your eyes jump open and you reach his side.

“You’re awake.” You gasp, you check the watch around his wrist and see three hours have passed, his heartbeat and blood pressure are not perfect yet but they are good enough.

“How do you feel?” You ask him while taking off the now empty blood bag from his catheter.

“Not great.” He winces with a small smile, “But seeing you definitely helps.”

He still looks very pale.

“Pain?” You ask him while getting some more painkiller in a needle and putting it in his catheter.

He nods.

“This will help.”

He carefully lifts the covers to see his stomach, all wrapped up. “The last time I looked here I saw inside myself… I thought-“ he swallows hard and looks at you, “I missed our date.”

You can’t help but chuckle, “You almost died and you’re thinking about our date?”

“I was looking forward to it.” He defends.

“Me too.” You softly whisper.

“This isn’t what I had in mind as a date.” He lowers the cover again, “How did you get here?”

“Sam called me urgently, saying he needed my help and let me in. Good he did, I managed to help you, the next weeks will be hard, Dean. We will see each other a lot more. You talked about me to Sam?”

The smile he gives you is far from weak, “To see you a lot more doesn’t sound bad at all. I did… I was excited to tell him about you.”

You give him a smile back, blushing at how he wanted to tell his brother about you.

How you ever doubted for a second to not use your magic to heal him.

You would risk it all just to see him smile.

“What was your idea of a date?” You ask him to keep his mind, and perhaps your own, off how close he came to dying.

“Something cheesy, like a picknick in a field with a pretty sunset. Dropping you back at your place after we had a great time and then, then I would kiss you again.” He says.

You smile, “So you’re a romantic guy, huh?”

“Very.” He grins and tries to lean towards you, only resulting in him hissing.

“Careful!” You say and help him adjust his position by putting your arms around his naked shoulders and tugging gently on his pillow.

“That’s the second time you ripped of my clothes, you know if you want to see me naked sweetheart, all you have to do is ask.”

“You’re such a flirt.” You smile at him and realize how close your faces are together, you glance down at his lips.

“I regret not kissing you tonight.” He whispers against your lips.

“Tonight isn’t over yet.” You whisper back.

He smiles and closes the gap between you two. Kissing you deeply.

You carefully cup his face, kissing him back.

He moans when your tongue brushes against the seam of his lips, asking for entrance, which he grants.

His hand comes up to brush your cheek. He tilts his head to the side and deepens the kiss, more moans spilling out from his mouth.

You’re panting against him, your hands slipping in his hair as you get lost in him.

A harsh hiss breaks you apart and you see that he tried to pull you closer, resulting in hurting himself. You slowly peel yourself away from Dean.

“You need to rest,” you pant, your lips swollen and wet from his kiss, “No excessive moving for you for at least two weeks.”

“The idea of taking a nurse on a date is much sexier than in real life.” He grunts as lays back down more comfortably, “No excessive moving, so no kissing?” he gives you the biggest puppy eyes, almost as cute as Quinn’s.

You blush and say “Only kissing is okay. Calm kissing.”

“I can survive with calm kissing,” he smiles then winks, “For now.”

You blush even harder and smile.

“Rest Dean, you need it. I will be here.”

Forever Tags 2024: @jay-and-dean @flamencodiva @snowlovespie @awkward-and-indecisive @hobby27

Dean tags 2024: @akshi8278 @pink-sparkly-witch @verytoadpapersoul @eevvvaa @muhahaha303 @alwaystiredandconfused @deansimpalababy @globetrotter28

Healing Love tags: @deans-spinster-witch @kr804573 @suckitands33 @bitchykittenconnoisseur @brightlilith @snowayumi

send me an ask if you want to be on any of my tag lists! (or if you want to be removed)

#roonyxx #dean winchester #supernatural #dean x reader #spn fanfic #dean winchester x reader #smut #dean x y/n #spn #healing love #healing love part two

[shatcey]

I've become an animal (Ellis)

Ellis Elbert

I'm not a native speaker of either English or Japanese. So there may most likely be errors in my translations. I use autotranslation and rewrite the text to a readable state. Some phrases are not clear to begin with, and I use my gut feeling and some experience of reading such poorly translated texts that have taught me to see meaning in them. My summaries are always full of my comments and jokes. If you prefer a clean translation, then you definitely won't like it.

Hmmm… Not bad. I have to put that on my main page.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Where were many onomatopoeic sounds that varied greatly in shape and duration depending on what Kate was "saying", I will stick to the original as much as possible. I haven't used it here often, but I'm warning you just in case.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kate woke up and realized that something was wrong. She looked in the mirror, slowly processing what she saw.

She remembered how the day before they went on a date with Ellis and she saw a black cat.

Ellis immediately asked if she interested, and she replied that she wanted to pet her and was worried if she was hungry.

Don't worry, girl, Alfons feeds them… She's fine.

So… back to the present.

She finally accepts the fact that she is a kitten and runs to Ellis. But she stopped worriedly in front of his door not knowing what to do.

Suddenly the door opens and Ellis kicks the poor kid. Ouch! He immediately apologizes and notices that she seems to be in pain.

I do not think so… But I have no choice but to agree when you smile like that…

Roger examined her and found only a bruise, but put a bandage on just in case… And recommended complete rest. As Ellis likes, she is completely under his care. But suddenly Roger heard something...

NO! Don't leave me with him...

Thank you, thank you, thank you... I'll kiss you later.

Jude is clearly not happy with this addition to their team.

Initially, it was an even more colorful description, but I didn't figure out how to make it sound normal. So I shortened it to this.

I can almost hear him saying: "What is… THAT?" pointing an accusing finger at the cat. Hah…

Jude listens to Ellis's explanation and gives them time to eat. So Ellis feeds the cat milk, puts it in his pocket, and they all go to work. I wonder which pocket? I only see them on his pants… no… I don't wanna think about it… Damn it! I cannot stop thinking about it!

This was another person who decided that he might NOT return the money to Jude in time. Why are they so stupid? They know about his reputation, but they keep doing it…

As usual, Ellis and Jude are playing good and bad cops. But… suddenly, the nobleman noticed the kitten and was very scared. He's allergic. So in order to save his life (or pride), he immediately returns the money.

Outside, Jude is thinking out loud, looking at the cat.

I'm sure he figured out… He's too smart not to notice…

And after that, he gives Ellis the day off, and they return to the castle. Ellis went all over the rooms and couldn't find Kate anywhere. He became restless, so Kate, in the form of a cat, tried to calm him down by asking him to pet her. Ellis remarks that she behaves exactly like Kate.

Premium ending

Somewhere on the way home, Ellis bought everything he needed to take care of the cat. And decided to comb her fur, of course, for Kate's sake.

They're both having a great time. But Kate suddenly thinks about what would happen to Ellis if "she" continued to be missing, and somehow… she kisses him…

Ellis is in complete shock

He recovered from the shock and gave her his jacket. He remembered all the awkward details of what she had been doing all day… And suddenly Roger knocked on the door, saving her.

But Ellis wouldn't let him. When Kate asked him why. He said he didn't want Roger examined her entire body… So the fact that she turns into a cat and back should remain a secret between them.

And after that, Ellis starts checking if Kate is human by kissing her…

So...

I didn't buy the epilogue. I'm already a little burned out of Ellis (I'm so fickle). I'll probably buy Elbert's epilogue though. His event made a greater impression on me. NOT because of Alfons! Okay, partly because of Alfons. But the event is really interesting for a completely different reason.

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#cybird ikemen #cybird #ikemen series #ikemen games #ikemen villians #ikemen villains #ikevil #ellis twilight #ikemen villains ellis #ikemen ellis #ikevil ellis #ikemen villains roger #roger barel #ikemen roger #jude jazza #ikemen villians jude #ikemen jude #ikevil jude #ikemen event

[auteurdelabre]

VAMPIRE ROOMMATE - PART I: DRAINED - Max!Philips x f!reader

Words: 2.0k

Rating: M for future chapters

a/n: Your girl was a Dracula loving doofus in highschool alrite?! So enjoy this campy little mini-series I made starring everyone's favorite douchebag vampire, Max Philips. See if you can spot all the Dracula Easter eggs!

I thank @intheorangebedroom for getting me to finish the first chapter. Love you hon! 🧡

dividers by the impossibly talented @saradika-graphics

P A R T I : D R A I N E D

The Demeter is crowded, as it always is on a Thursday during happy hour. Drunken idiots bump into you, spilling beer onto your shoes and across the ancient pub floor but you don't even notice, you just make a beeline for the booth near the back where two young women sit, smiling at your approach. 

"I cannot afford this fucking city." 

You moan this loudly, throwing your purse into the booth your co-workers have snagged before slumping next to a bemused looking Lucy. She tilts back, curving her full mouth into a smirk as she watches your face scrunch.

"Nice to see you too."

"This city sucks the life from you," you go on, ignoring her amusement. "Drains you!" 

Your two co-workers (and let's face it, only friends since you moved to this city for this job) give you gentle pats on the shoulder as you groan. 

The three of you are the youngest staff at Seward Plastic Surgery. You'd started around the same time and banded together to face the stress of working at the office amongst high end clientele, hostile co-workers and a bustling schedule. 

The three of you had all been running away from something. Mina: her oppressive religious parents back in Utah, Lucy: her obsessive ex fiance back in Sacramento and you-

Well, you'd rather not think about it right now.  

"I take it the roommate search isn't going well?" Lucy asks, half distracted by her phone. You see she's swiping through some Tindr matches.

Being that she's a goddess with flowing red hair and the best body you've ever seen, she's won't have trouble finding a date. You've already clocked three guys in the nearby vicinity who can't keep their eyes off of her. 

"This latest girl asked if it was cool if she brought her four ferrets with her. Four." You throw up your hands in disbelief. "And the one before that asked if it was cool if she did some filming in the apartment."

Mina tilts her head to the side. "What kind of filming?" 

"For her Only Fans." You shoot them a glare when your friends giggle behind their hands. 

"She said if I wanted to join in she'd split the profits with me."

At this Mina and Lucy break out into loud laughter, even managing to draw a small smirk from you before you feel that same familiar desperation clawing at you. 

You fold your arms on the table, letting your head fall into the crook of your elbow. 

"It's humiliating you guys," you mutter, "I can't believe I'm thirty and looking for a fucking roommate. And that there's no one normal in the entirety of New York!" 

You make decent money, but New York is just... So expensive. And big and stressful. It's supposed to be the land of opportunity but all its afforded you is a shitty apartment that you can't furnish and roommates that never stick around. 

"Hey, don't get like that," Mina says with a gentle hand over yours. "You'll find someone soon."

Mina is always gentle and kind and annoyingly optimistic. It's why she does the customer service stuff at the office, because no one can look at her big dark blue eyes and get angry. 

"Hey, my favorite customers."

Mina and Lucy smile up at the handsome young man who approaches the table, his eyes on Mina lingering a moment longer than the rest. 

"Hi Johnny," Lucy coos coquettishly. You don't miss how she leans forward to show off her considerable assets in her dress, but Johnny is oblivious. 

"Hi Mina," he offers gently. 

"Hi," Mina replies, a light blush to her cheeks. She gives a shy glance up at Johnny. 

"We need alcohol," you moan from where your head rests in your arms on the table. "Lots of it!"

"Day going that well, huh?" Johnny laughs, sliding a few cardboard coasters over the glossy tabletop. "I'll get you the usual."

Johnny's been your server since the three of you started coming here about six months ago and it's obvious to you that he's besotted by Mina. 

"She's having a hard time finding a roommate," Mina explains helpfully. Johnny raises a confused brow in your direction.

"What happened to Quinn?"

"Moved out in the middle of the day while I was at work and took the fucking TV," you say miserably, finally raising your head from the table. "And her last rent check bounced."

"Who the fuck takes checks anymore?" Lucy asks in quiet horror. She holds up her hands in surrender when you shoot her a dark look. 

Johnny leaves and comes by with your drinks, and you eagerly drink yours down. There's music trivia this evening and the three of you do fairly well, but you're in too low spirits to enjoy or focus. 

"You'll a new roommate," Lucy says over the pub's music, trying to raise your spirits. 

"The best!" Mina agrees drunkenly. "I just know your luck is going to turn around!"  

The rest of the night is passed in a tipsy blur before the three of you stumble to the subway hugging and pressing beer-flavored kisses to each other's cheeks. 

You finally arrive back at the apartment around midnight, yawning so wide your jaw cracks. You're fumbling with your key when the stench of salami and cigarettes washes over you. 

In anxious habit your hand flies to your neck, fingers playing absently with the locket that's always hanging there. 

"Hello Mister Morris," you say, trying to hide the slur from your voice as you turn to face your landlord; a balding man of seventy who you're fairly certain hates you. 

"It's the sixteenth," the man says, arms crossed tightly over his narrow chest. He wears a loose grey t-shirt stained with his dinner, or hell, maybe even his lunch too. 

"I know."

"I've only got half the rent from you."

Your half because Quinn picked up and fucked off without paying her half, leaving you high and dry. 

You want to mention to Mister Morris that he still hasn't fixed your leaking sink or the clicking noise that sounds out every time you use your microwave, but now doesn't feel like the right time.

"It's coming, I promise."

"You said that last week," he frowns and his thick blonde moustache twitches like a broom as he frowns.  

"I know, it's just that Quinn -"

"I don't care what the excuse is," he cuts you off. "Get me my money by Monday or you're evicted."

Before you can say anything he's hobbling away back down the creaking steps of the high rise. You feel angry tears start at your lash line as you push yourself into the apartment. 

You're about to crawl into bed when your phone beeps. You look blurrily at the glowing screen. 

[Unknown number] Hey, I got your number from Johnny at the Dementor. Are you still looking for a roommate? I need somewhere soon and can pay you first and last month right away. I have great references. Lemme know - M 

You let out a small huff of disbelief. Johnny gave your number to some strange, random girl from the pub? 

Before your irritation can grow, Mister Morris' miserable face floats into your mind. Eviction. It makes you push past your hesitation and type quickly.

[You] Do you have pets? 

[Unknown number] No. 

[You] Do you make online content? 

[Unknown number] Uh, no. 

[You] Do you have a real job? 

[Unknown number] Yes. I work at a marketing company in the city. 

If you were sober you likely never would have replied to the initial message, much less given your address to a stranger. But as it is you're floaty from the booze and the threat of eviction compels you to reply. 

[You] Can you come by the place tomorrow? 

The response is almost immediate. 

[Unknown Number] Sure. Name the time and place. 

[You] I get off work at 5. 5:30 work? 

[Unknown number] Any chance 8 works? I'm slammed at work tomorrow.

You'd picked 5:30 because there would still be a bit of daylight left in the encroaching fall weather. Eight pm meant that it would be full dark, not an ideal situation. 

But nothing about your situation is ideal. If you don't get your entire rent check to Mister Morris you can kiss this apartment and your entire new life goodbye. 

[You] Address is 18-97 Whitbey St. Bring your references please. 

[Unknown Number] See you then. 

[Unknown Number] Sweet dreams. 

You smile a bit at that last message, amused at the woman's sense of humor. Maybe Mina was right. 

Maybe your luck is turning around after all.

You don't know why but you assumed that M was a woman. So when you open your door the next evening to a man who looks straight out of the douche bag finance district you can't help but wrinkle your nose in displeasure. 

He's taller than you with broad shoulders and a narrow waist. You take in his lightly tousled brown locks and notice wearing a navy suit, impeccably tailored. The shoes look expensive.

Why does this guy need a roommate?

He's turned away from you, scanning the hallway. You think he must be thinking this is a mistake. This apartment complex is simple and old. It doesn't seem like something this guy would be into. 

He turns around and for some reason your eyes can't meet his. They stay stuck on his chest and drift slowly up to his mouth.  

"Hi there," he says with a grin that feels practiced as he takes in your expression. "You're Johnny's friend, right?"

You don't know why but something about him has the hair on your body standing on end. 

"Yep," you say feeling hesitant. 

He smells good, like something familiar you can't place. He's clean shaven, his mouth full and pouty. He's handsome, you can't deny that. Not your kind of handsome - you're more drawn to the rugged and quietly confident. 

This guy is smooth, polished and reminds you of all the asshole frat boys you went to school with. You don’t like the way his grin is slightly crooked, like he’s secretly mocking you without saying a word. 

"I'm Max," the man says, hand stretching in your direction. "Max Phillips." 

He gives another one of those practiced grins and you realize you're still standing behind the door, only your head and hand peeking out. You just stare at his outstretched fingers, the length of them, the width of his large palm. 

Your fingers creep up your neckline to fiddle with the clasp of your locket, your heart hammering. 

Max waits a beat before his hands dive back in his pockets. He doesn't seem offended at your lack of contact, if anything he seems amused. 

"So," Max says stretching out the word, his full mouth curling into an exaggerated "o". "Are you gonna invite me in?" 

His tone is playful and your gaze finally flicks to his eyes, surprised to find his gaze holding yours intensely. 

His eyes are a warm, dark brown that appear rather sorrowful. You let yourself stare into them a moment, letting yourself linger. 

Let me in. 

You step back a fraction, pushing the door open with your fingertips so that he can enter. 

"C'mon in." 

He walks into the main living area like he owns the place. It sets you on edge and you follow him at a distance, like a terrified puppy. 

You watch him glance around the small space, anxious that he'll turn right around. He's too fancy to be in this apartment with a pitiful view of the skyline and murky windows. 

It's not a terrible place, just smaller than you'd want. A cramped kitchen, a communal TV space with your old couch, a bathroom with clawfoot tub and leaking showerhead. Nothing fancy. 

Max walks around the space, taking in the exposed brick walls, the dripping faucet, the faded couch. His eyes are drawn to the small pot of yellow blooms sitting on the windowsill. 

"Caltha Palustris," Max murmurs. 

"Uh, yeah," you say stepping towards him in curiosity. "How did you know that? It's a specialized bloom from-"

"Romania," Max finishes for you, fingertips tracing along the petals a moment. "I did a bit of backpacking there." 

"Oh." You nod. "I like taking care of plants. Reminds me of home." 

Max waits for you to share more but when you don't he continues his walk over the parquet flooring, his shoes clicking over the wood. He stops before the wall over the un-usable fireplace. 

"No TV?"

You can't tell him the real reason, that your last roommate ditched you midweek. 

"Uh, I like to read," you lie. 

"Mhm." Max smirks, obviously not believing you. His eyes bore into yours and you force them to the floor. It's strange, when you stare at him you feel sort of floaty. 

He saunters towards the far door, pointing. "This your bedroom?"

"No, that would be yours if... You know," you offer awkwardly. Max nods, pulling it open and peeking inside. 

It's a small room, technically a refurbished closet. Enough to fit in a bed and a desk. 

If it wasn't New York no one would be in the market for it. As it is, with people desperate to live in the big city you have a line of people wanting to rent it. The only issue is none of them are normal. 

"I know it's small," you say almost apologetically to his back. "And I know there's technically no window-"

"I don't need much room," Max says with a shrug, closing the door again with a snick. "And I need it dark to sleep." 

You're gob smacked by this. You'd been expecting him to turn around and leave the second he saw the place. 

"There's one other thing," you say, swallowing. "Uh, I'm not really allowed to have a roommate. This is technically a one bedroom and all... So if you see the landlord just tell him your my cousin or something. He doesn't really come around unless the rent check is late so odds are you'll never run into him. But, you know, just in case." 

"Subterfuge," Max tuts with a wink that has your cheeks prickling with heat. "I like it." 

He stands out so much in your humble apartment. He doesn't seem like the kind of guy who would want to stay in a shoebox. You imagine him in more of a high rise with floor to ceiling windows and sleek countertops. 

"I work nights," Max tells you as you drift out of focus. "So I'd be out of your hair for the most part except for the odd weekend."

"Oh," you say, a bit taken aback. 

That actually sounds great, exactly what you were hoping for. It sounds too good to be true. 

"And I can pay cash for first and last," he adds as if he can feel you softening to the idea. "Whenever you give the okay." 

Most people were desperate for a place in New York, so desperate they didn't mind the shitty apartment with bad plumbing. But Max doesn't seem desperate, he seems like a man with lots of options. 

"You seem hesitant," Max observes with that same unflappable charisma. 

"It's just... Why do you need a roommate?" You blurt, totally at a loss. "You dress expensive, sounds like you have a good job. Why would you want to have a roommate in a shitty apartment in Brooklyn?" 

You don't miss the amusement in Max's eyes. He lets them travel languidly along your body, lingering on your neck a fraction before darting back to your face. 

"I have another apartment in the city," Max explains with a charming grin. "But it's under renovations for the next six months. I need something in the meantime and I need it quick. My job keeps me very busy and I really just want to settle down so I can get all my focus back on it."

Six months is a decent enough time. It's not a year like you'd prefer, but you're desperate right now. 

"You'd need to sign a half a year lease," you tell him. 

"Seems fair."

"And pay a damage deposit."

"Naturally." 

You falter, licking your lips nervously. You don't miss how Max's eyes follow the damp trail along your lower lip. 

"You still seem hesitant," Max says, hands back in his pockets. "May I ask why?" 

"It's just... I've never had a male roommate before," you explain. "And..."

"You don't know if I'm a creep or not," Max finishes for you with a grin. "I get it." 

You shoot him a relieved smile. "Yeah."

"You're worried I'm a potential serial killer," he chuckles, moving from foot to foot. 

"Who knows, maybe I'm the serial killer," you offer with a crooked grin. "You don't know me after all."

"But I do know Johnny," Max argues toothlessly. "If he says you're good, I trust him." 

This makes your insides grow warm. 

"Well, how about I leave you my references and you go ahead and call them. If you're still uncomfortable after that, we can just forget about it," he offers with a shrug. 

"Okay, yeah. That works."

"But I will say I really wanna get settled as soon as possible and I think this place would be a great fit. That is, as long as you don't murder me in my sleep." 

You both chuckle politely and before he can overstay his welcome, Max hands you the paper with his references' names and contact information.

"I hope to hear from you soon."

He doesn't attempt to shake your hand again and then he's gone, sailing out of the apartment on his long legs, closing the door gently behind him. 

It's late, but after a beat you call his references anyway. When you're satisfied with their positive responses you collapse onto your lumpy couch. You finger the yellow flowers next to you, mind strangely foggy. 

After another moment of hesitation you pull out your phone and begin to type.  

[You] Can you move in this weekend? 

#max phillips #max philips x f!reader #vampire #smut #fanfiction #fanfic #pedro pascal fanfic

[ranticore]

We know the werewolves were one guys specific indentured servants. Are there any other monsters that were just one specific guy’s? Actually. Is that wizard still around and how does he (it?) feel about it? Did Revelation’s specific underlings also get hit especially hard or just it?

Anyway your Kosa setting is cool as hell and I love everyone and also Revelation. And its wife guy (guy who is a wife guy to it).

hiii i'm going to answer all your asks in this one post to make things easier, thank you so much for giving me a lot of stuff to think about

Anyway, werewolves! It's accepted that pretty much every wizard had a lot of servants, this guy (Onozar The Transcendent, the green wyrm with red markings) just happened to have a lot in the general region i do most of my worldbuilding in (the two of Kosa is here, the Ama plains, other areas etc). That means werewolves are pretty common here, and have spread elsewhere from here, but other areas and regions have their own different population densities of werewolves and other 'beastified servant' type monsters.

Onozar isn't open about it, his faces are now very different to how he looked back in the day (aka the face on the werewolf masks) and he has very purposefully put his past behind him. Yes he did terrible stuff and was essentially a magical dictator once upon a time. But that was so long ago and he was punished for it so as far as he's concerned he's done with it and the werewolves are unrelated to him (and if somebody else brings it up omg you're all so obsessed with the past, don't you know people grow and change?? it was NORMAL to have slaves back then okay it was just part of the culture and it's honestly really suspicious and hurtful that you would bring this up to attack him at a time like this, and-)

Revelation was not a big shot among wizards. It had servants yes but not so many that they became their own species of monster (many of the monsterifications were chosen as a form of dramatic irony based on the individual person's personality). I still have to design a bunch of other monster types but I'll say yes they were probably hit harder than they should have been, everybody in and around Revelation's tower were made An Example.

It's a little easier to scapegoat the guy who has no real influence and no real friends in this social circle ain't it

He's only good at killing crawling beasts lol, that's partially why king harpies evolved after all - to fight and kill the crawlers, which are very strong but not very fast. His type eat mainly rabbits and hares, and he tends to be not quite fast enough to consistently catch them himself, the much swifter and smaller cobs and pens take care of that (he still runs far faster than a human tho, he's had some luck catching antelopes if he gets close enough before the chase). He is part of a flock, he just kinda... drifted away from living with the others, splitting his attention between Revelation and his other duties. Like many kings he's fighty and opinionated, with the added assurance of a creature that knows it's too big and strong to fall prey to... pretty much everything else. He enjoys art and beautiful things and has happily worked in alliance with the local wolfmen packs in the past in return for some of their dye products.

So his flock is a multi-type coalition between a collection of eyries (or whatever word I'll use for the small harpy settlements that form under the banner of a single flock). He's not the all-king of the flock, but he is the king of the terror bird types. The other types within the flock are all ground-nesting but not necessarily flightless harpies. His eyrie has about thirty individuals living there and he had three tiercels (not including Revelation). Revelation didn't kill all his flockmates but it did quietly disappear his other tiercels at some point. I need to do a little more work on them but yea

These different characters actually represent different time periods in the setting (the guy, Ambrose, is from the 1600s, while Mikalai and Cuinn come from the 1800s!). I think the whole thing with Revelation is much earlier, going for a more medieval look with those guys. It means that Revelation's march is technically just a part of history for Cuinn and the rest of them :) The world didn't end. But it DID change (.... not many wyrms around these days, anymore, i wonder what happened to them...)

#ice storm over kosa #lot less magic in the world by the 1800s as well wonder what happened to change that

[ta-ni-ya]

To all my mooties, I have to announce something important.

You already must’ve noticed about my absence and how I’m not posting much or being active at all, honestly, as some might already guess it’s because I’m busy with schoolwork which is half true but also simply saying it’s because I kinda feel burned out and drained.

I feel like Tumblr isn’t giving me anything good, I usually feel stressed because this is also my last year at school so I need to focus. But drawing isn’t something that I’ll stop, I just really need my break…

I’d like to say that I’m officially going to stop being active here…idk till how long. Could be months or a whole year. I’m truly unable to manage and I seriously feel myself getting distant from my mutuals which kinda hurts :(

Ik it sounds like I’m just an attention seeker because i recently haven’t been able to interact much, but the truth is that I feel burdened for some reason I’m so sorry. I hope that I heal soon and come back even tho its possibility is more to no.

I will still be sometimes active on me and kiyoka’s shared account @kiyo-niya for self satisfaction I’ll post my stuff there…

I’m gonna stop posting, interacting and taking requests, kinda like abandoning this blog. I will be online sometimes tho- probably to just kinda stay silent and use my Tumblr like normal. I will really miss you all 🥹

To all those whose ocs are shipped with mine, I apologise for abandoning the ships just like that, sincerely, I apologise.

Thank you so much for the support till now…really appreciate it but it’s time for me to go.

I really enjoyed these past few months on Tumblr and I’m glad I got to experience this before I fully commit myself to my future now 🥹 please don’t forget about me TvT

I’m so sorry. I love you all and thank you so much for everything.

Goodbye.

#announcement :3

[polarisbibliotheque]

Tiny little life update!

I was on a little road trip to the country side and just got here. Hopefully now I'll have more time to think, write, art and just generally be human 🖤

And I'm here with all my family, I just got here and lost my patience with everyone, told everyone to fuck off 'cause they're being old and stupid and should accept the help of younger people who can deal with things better.

I understand Nero on a soul level now - and it'll probably show on my writing from now on 'cause MAN HOW DIFFICULT IT IS TO DEAL WITH OLD HEADSTRONG LOVED ONES WHO THINK THEY'RE IMMORTAL.

Hahahaha that's it. I hope you're all having wonderful days though ^^

Seriously considering cosplaying a female Nero next year now

#polaris speaks #life update #general update #I don't have a schedule of when I'll be back posting #but hopefully by the start of the year :) #thanks for giving me this time I need to go back to normal!

[widevibratobitch]

omw to play emotional support for my mom disguised as ✨fun family bonding time✨ for the rest of the week <3333 there's something so deeply wrong with me uwu teehee

#and i still havent texted my friend back even tho she texted me a week ago and i told her ill text her back this week when i have the time #and i DO have the time. im just fucked in the head and the prospect of having a conversation with another person where i again #have to pretend im not at the very brink of a serious mental and emotional breakdown. is making me lose my fucking mind #ik she's having a bad time rn and she needs the reassurance and jesus fucking christ i tried i had two long conversations with her #that were allllll about her. only her. not a single word about me. that's fine. this is what people need in such moments right #to just get patted on the head and hugged and told their suffering is real and what happened to them is unfair and just made to feel #that for a moment they're the centre of attention and it is all about them. this is normal. this is why therapy exists. #so i try to give this to her but it is fucking draining. and i NEVER get the same treatment back. like she caught me crying at uni last week #and like yes she'll say some nice things but she'll always find a way to turn the conversation back on the topic of ✨her✨ #like we started talking about my therapy and i finally got to actually say a word or two about what im dealing with. but then she goes #'yeah im just trying to figure out what's wrong with me when i listen to you haha like i could never cut myself cause it looks ugly. #ofc it doesnt look ugly on you haha but i could never lol' #like thanks haha good to know ill just shut up then and steer the conversation back onto you why dont i. i mean its not like #i spent over an hour a few days back sitting with you and listening to your talk about your childhood and validating you and not saying #a word a single fucking word about myself even tho i was also going through it myself but who cares right. and now im the bad guy again #because im not texting back. #i feel like im finally fucking snapping cause at this point im properly fucking angry. IM having a bad time too. IM going through it too. #I have bad coping skills and had a fucked up childhood and traumas in my life TOO and im allowed to just not be able to handle it #i really wanna break something lol maybe therapy's working after all lmao #oh also this is why i dont eat breakfast. i do it once and then feel guilty and suicidal lol normal behaviour #pojebie mnie zaraz przysięgam na boga mam dość kurwa BASTA

[pebblezone]

Idk how welcome home has overrun literally all of my social media but I guess I welcome it

#talkingcore #I love puppets it’s all on me I’m engaging this actually isn’t a complaint more like a I Didn’t Know This Existed 24 hours ago #and now it’s literally all I’m seeing like 80% of the videos I’ve seen today have been welcome home which like honestly is super impressive #hell yeah to those creators they’ve got some insane drive #album adventure update: finally rolled good ol honorary Beach boy Glen Campbell maybe I’ll give you guys ram ranch #pip would’ve loved ram ranch 💔 rip king fly high 🕊️🧍‍♂️ 18 naked cowboys 😭 at the ram ranch 😰 #I’ve been fucking around with lip syncing shit and it’s tedious as hell but heeehee it’s fun woooah the mouth moves wooooahaaahhhhhh #also this dude keeps leaving his Apple Watch in the practice room in my dorm and like thankfully I’m such an amazing and perfect person #that I didn’t take it the first time but the second time (like 2 weeks later) I said fuck it and just used it while it was still in there #(I’d checked at 2. saw it was there. didn’t use it. came back at 5 it was still there so like a reasonable amount of time to get it) #so I fucked around as normal but like I started getting freaked by the possibility of it listening (it probs wasn’t) #so I left but like bro how do you forget it twice why are you taking it off #I gave it to the help desk people which I think was the right thing to do but also Dude think how easily I could’ve stolen it please keep it #no longer dying of the plague but I need to hang onto my t boy swag pleasepleaseplease let me keep at least some lower notes #I will accept not hitting a G2 again but like. a C3? even just a D3 like regularly? please? please? please? hello? you’re nothing #anyway I’m avoiding my work you guys should look up The Beach Boys and Charles Manson have a gander at that for fun #thanks to my lovely institution having a strike going on by mid Thursday I’m done for the week which means I get to indulge and boy shall I #love you 🫶 go slay 🫶 have great vagina 🫶 byeeee

[raeathnos]

.

#(continued) #and she’s like omg what??? #so I told her how rude she was and how upsetting the whole thing was #and so this girl is like omg your doctor put in an order for a mammogram and you’re just trying to do what your doctor told you to do #and then I’m like yeah pls don’t transfer me back #so bless this lady she went a found a physician and double checked and I do not in fact need a mammogram #and she’s like you sound like you’re about to cry #and I’m telling her how the other lady was like very unhelpful and giving me a lot of attitude #and again she’s like that’s the doctors say not the person making the schedule #so yes thank you #but I am like #very done #I have been in a precarious mental state for a long time and I normally don’t tolerate being treated like that well #and it kind of just completely fried my nerves #I had shit I needed to do but like #I think I need to go scream in a pillow and lay down #I don’t understand people who are rude for the sake of being rude #sometimes I think it’s like #it’s a very minor position of power but it’s still powe #and this lady was one of those people who gets off putting other people down #or in this case withholding medical care 🙃

[rosicheeks]

What's like one big goal you're hoping to accomplish this year?

(PS I hope you don't get COVID! Even a "mild" case sucks, my sense of taste has yet to fully recover months later!)

Oh BOY that’s a complicated question hahahah. To try and put it simplistic as possible - figure out what I want to do with my life. Or like what path to take?

#first of all thank you! I really hope I don’t get it either. I mean I’m not super worried about me cause I know it’ll suck but I’ll be fine #but now that I live with my parents I’m scared that I’ll accidentally give it to them and both of them aren’t doing the best physically #but there’s nothing I can do now…. tbh I’ve been slacking with masks and being cautious so I should probably go back to that #masks are just expensive and I’m broke #need to either find my disposable or buy new ones #I hope your taste comes back soon!!! that sounds awful 😔 #anywayyy to your question #right now I just kinda feel lost in life #I need to feel like I’m going somewhere again #cause right now I just feel like I’m in limbo???? #obviously would love to figure out my mental bullshit but idk how realistic that is #honestly would just love to figure out everything that’s wrong with me so I can start to feel idk normal? #idk this is probably more loaded than you were expecting haha #but especially ever since the move I’ve been so fucking lost and I want to figure out my life but idk where to even start ya know #but yeah I guess that’s my goal #on a smaller scale I would love love love to get more traffic and sales on my Etsy #I just really want to make my Etsy shop a way to be creative and make money at the same time #cause paint and art shit is expensive 😭 #and when you’re already broke it’s hard to justify buying paint or canvases ya know #buuuuut if I get more sales and a bigger profit then maybe it’ll be worth it??? #also I LOVE seeing my paintings somewhere else its just so bittersweet #cause I love my paintings so much so it’s hard to let go of them #but the thought of someone else hanging them up and seeing them everyday???? #it’s so heartwarming 🥺 #like I could help warm up your space???? with color and some love 🥰💖 #I just love it so much #thanks for the question lovely 🥰🥰🥰 #ask #lovely mutuals