#that does include just taking time for yourself

[konigsblog]

Nerd König x Geek Reader

just two losers that spend all their time together... :( 📚

König spends hours by your side, crushing you with his bodyweight to pin you down. Unlike you, König needs to feel you 24/7. You like your space, to have time to yourself. König, on the other hand, wants to spend all day by your side, talking about his interests to his beloved, to feel you beneath his large body.

You're the only one who listens and truly cares. Everyone else drops him because he's too talkative, annoying, and irritating. But, can you blame him? He spends hours silent in public, he needs to rant about all his problems and talk about his hyperfixations, to release all that pent up energy. König's interests usually include figurines, guns, and historical events. He'll force you to listen to him, allowing you to talk about your interests with him afterwards.

König gets off to the sound of your voice, stroking his bulbous, meaty cock to the sound of your sweet voice. It's almost like a deal for both of you; you allow König to jerk off to the sound of your voice, while he allows you to talk for hours nonstop. He'll overstimulate himself and you'll have to take breaks between talking to get him off, by rubbing your thumb over his sensitive tip repetitively, until he's huffing and panting, cumming all over your soft hands. Your touch does wonders for that idiot...

#orla speaks #cod x reader #konig x reader #könig x you #könig x reader #könig x y/n #konig x reader smut #konig cod #konig call of duty #konig modern warfare #könig #könig fanfiction #könig call of duty #konig x you #konig fluff #konig headcanons #konig mw2 #cod

[lilmashae]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧

hard thought featuring heejake 🎀 !

imagining heeseung and jake as two of the most popular boys on your campus. heeseung as the team’s basketball captain! he’s the school’s most prized player — which he takes much pride in as does jake as the school’s soccer captain.

the two of them are an infamous heartthrob duo — known for entertaining a new girl almost every week. they capture the attention of every girl on campus — including yourself. however you’re more shy and reserved — on top of that, you know way better.

but unbeknownst to you — you pique their attention too. every aspect of you intrigues them, from your cute facial expressions to your pretty little skirts you wear around the school to your lectures and classes.

they make plans to approach you and when they do, you’re admittedly a bit hesitant. what could guys like heeseung and jake want with you..?

it’s their mission to get you sandwiched between them — a pretty girl like you taking everything they want to give you.

they work with team effort — heeseung walking you everywhere, and jake offering to take you on dates, the constant flirting making you flustered and hot. the attention becomes so overwhelming to the point where you drop both of them… that is until they both show up at your dorm, and suddenly there’s no more avoiding them. they sit in either side of you — jake trailing wet kissing down your neck and jaw as heeseung whispers in your ear while massaging your thighs.

“come on, pretty girl… me and jaeyun like you so much… isn’t that right, jake?” the latter softly hums against your skin. “so much it hurts, princess.” jake’s hand envelopes your own, bringing it to feel the pulsing bulge growing through his sweats. “you feel that, pretty? you’re getting him all worked up.” heeseung’s breath fans across your jawline as he too begins peppering kisses onto the supple softness of your flesh.

and somehow you find yourself being relentlessly fucked on your dorm’s couch — their siren calls breaking through any willpower you once had. “see..? you’re such a good girl. don’t you feel good?” heeseung slowly thrust into your leaking cunt. jake continues to suck on your nipples — the sensitive buds grow puffy between his lips. “f-fuck…” you whine out. his fingers apply pressure to your clit as heeseung continues fucking into you. “you suck hee in so good y/n… ‘can’t wait for my turn to fuck your pretty little cunt, angel.”

but knowing jake, he gets impatient — his cock begging for attention and by the time heesung’s finished fucking you open for him, jake’ll have already busted just from the sound of your soft moans. so he leaves your tits glazed in his spit to pull out his cock and fuck your throat. “shit! ‘throat’s so tight ‘nd warm…”

filthy grunting and squelching noises echo throughout the room as they both cum inside of you. after the three of you cum, they’re cleaning you up and generously kissing your face cooing in your ear as if they didn’t coax at least four orgasms out of you.

“we should fuck you more often.” heeseung sighs. “I want to go first this time.” they’re so unserious you can’t help but giggle a bit. “looks like you’re finally warming up, pretty girl.”

if you couldn’t tell I love heejake 💀

#lil-ma-shae #enhypen smut #lee heeseung smut #heeseung smut #sim jake smut #jake smut #enhypen hard hours #enha smut #enha hard hours #sim jaeyun smut #jaeyun smut

[tarotchariotpickyourcard]

PAC: What your co-workers think about you

Just a little reading if you're curious. I've been curious. Just don't go too deep, you're there to further yourself and earn the moolah after all.

Please choose from left to right, 1 - 2 - 3.

1 is fortune, 2 is a shell, 3 is bell.

Hope you enjoy and don't take it too serious.

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GROUP 1

Your fortune cookie paper says You will be fortunate in everything you put your hands to. 

2 of wands - The Magician (rev) - The high priestess - The wheel reversed - transmutation and cheer-fullness.

Ok so 2 of wands is a nice starter card for impressions. As a colleague this can show a skillset that includes good foresight, and planning. Starting off I could assume you’re seen as someone who likes to plan and is more organised than others. This is collaborative energy. I feel like maybe you’re taken on better by masculine people in the workplace. I get the idea people have been relieved last minute that oh, yeah, pile one actually prepared for x y or z, that’s lucky.

The magician reversed in this tarot deck always makes me think of someone who is more tricky with their words. This can be great in some situations, for example if you’re trying to sell something. You can navigate conversations for a set goal. However, in a more negative light this might mean that some coworkers could think you’re on the manipulative side in your interactions with them. Some may worry they can’t trust you. Whether this is valid or not is up to you. Sometimes we do say little things that maybe we know we shouldn’t, for example, saying something in passing about another coworker. Sometimes we gossip.

The high priestess as how you’re seen professionally makes me think you seem to have a magic touch. It’s like if a computer isn’t working, but you try and work it and all of a sudden it’s fine. I think maybe sometimes you can make someone feel silly because all of a sudden there’s no problem lol.

Wheel of fortune makes me think of timing, and after high priestess it makes me think they aren’t sure what you do when they don’t see you. It could be a curiosity about your personal life, maybe you don’t divulge very much about how you spend you time. It could be that you seem to have this magic touch or always be prepared, but it’s out of nowhere or they don’t understand how you got skilled somehow, because they haven’t seen you spend time on learning more for example. It could be like, well, how do you know that when our manager hasn’t taught us x y z. So you could be secretly self taught or seen as having a natural talent.

Cheerfulness: “I embrace a state of cheerfulness, even on days when I don’t wake up feeling that way. Knowing that moods are contagious, I’d rather not cause an outbreak of crankiness and complaints. Instead, I’ll strive to be the patient zero of joy amd laughter.”

Transmutation: “I have the ability to transmute negative feelings into positive ones, and I exercise it at will. The next time someone frustrates me/annoys me/eats tuna too close to me, I will lean towards kindness and acceptance rather than stabbyness and loathing.”

Put all together, I think your coworkers generally get along with you, especially those who identify as male. I think some wonder how you manage some things, because you are capable. All of a sudden you just seem to pull something when they need it, like magic. Like in a show: here’s one I prepared earlier. Lol.

The career affirmation cards together tell me you try your best to be pleasant and not be negative about everything all the time. (there are people out there who are true negative nancy’s and it really does make everything a drag) So I think your coworkers appreciate that you try and turn the mood around. Also, there might be a coworker that is negative or gossip-y that might have been trying to drag you into conversations to strengthen their narrative, or to join in. Don’t let people bring you in. But yeah, overall good energy, nothing nasty really.

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GROUP 2

Consideration - 9 of cups - 8 of coins -  Queen of swords reversed - 3 of wands

Consideration: “I’m a considerate person, and my new goal is radical conscientiousness. From now on, I’ll leave every space tidier than I found it; I’ll find small ways to support a team mate even if they didn’t ask for it; I will eat leftover pumpernickel bagels even though I didn’t order it.”

We have a sweetheart hereeeee. Hahaha, With a secret cutting tongue. You can make the occasional comment and I find it funny. You might have been interpreted as judgemental of someone else's work, you might not have found something up to standard. You could be seen as very clean or tidy.

Your coworkers overall see you as a really well meaning, well intentioned colleague. You’re definitely there to achieve the goals of the team or business. You mean it when you go into work, you go in there and you don’t intend to mess about or slack.

 With queen of swords rev though, it does make me think someone in your workplace views you as mean, and I feel like this could be more of a misunderstanding. Because most of your coworkers here see you as considerate, helpful, wanting the best, not particularly nasty.

8 of coins signifies being seen as a hard worker, honing whatever your job skillset is. So you always are practicing becoming better. Not someone who sits on their laurels and assumes they’re set. It could also mean you’re seen as someone more advanced by most. So more experienced or knowledgable.

It’s really weird, I’m getting two meanings for queen of swords reversed and 3 of wands… Both may apply, or just one. The first one is that you may have a silver tongued coworker who tries to downplay your experience or make you appear less skilled. So instead of the experienced worker you are, they try to make you look like you still have more to learn. The language may be about the ability to plan. The other meaning is that you might make newer people feel like you are unapproachable for whatever reason. You might intimidate newer people. They may take time to understand your real intentions (being helpful and part of a team)

9 of cups makes me think that goals are what you’re focussed on. You appear that you have endgame in sight, you’re there to accomplish something and you’re not letting things get in your way. If you need to finish that project or task, you’re not wasting your time chatting.

That’s what I see right now, hope you enjoyed.

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GROUP 3

Justice - 9 of coins - 2 of cups - ace of cups reversed - risks

A fair and pleasant person who can get along with most. Even if you’re introverted, your interactions leave a good impression.

I’ll get a first impression out of the way. Did someone here take a risk and date/see someone in the workplace? People will be noticing/talking about that.

Or something may have gone wrong with a friendship with a colleague or what was a nice work connection and you may have withdrawn.

Those are just 2 possibilities.

It’s a really weird energy all together to read for me, because…Oh, there are big differing views. That must be why. I think of the groups, this is the least streamlined. One or more may think you’re too impulsive or risky, but some might actually think you take positive and calculated risks. It’s like maybe there’s quite a mish mash of characters that see things very differently. Maybe you work with different people on different days, or go around for clients.

More traditional thinkers might think your ambition goes too far, and why are you not happy with what you have. More adventurous people might think you go, do the thing.

I see the perspective that you kind of shrug your shoulders, so you don’t seem to care as much about things as they do. Like you’re more confident or happy on your own, to do your own thing, to pitch that new idea, you don’t care, you’ll do it. It’s a risk you’d be willing to take. 

You may not feel confident, but honestly I think you look confident. 9 of coins with justice just gives me nonchalant energy where you seem to feel secure and know things will work out.

This combination tells me you wouldn’t mind moving workplaces, this could be a stepping stone for you, or you could know if need be you can jump ship.

Risks says “I take big risks and leap into the unknown with fearless abandon, knowing that the best surprises and richest experiences come from bold choices.”

So maybe this is something pretty new to you, or you’re bringing new ideas to how things can be done.

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Hope you enjoyed, byeeee

#pac #divination community #divination #tarotblr #pick a card reading #witchblr #tarot community #spiritual community #spiritblr #pick a card #spirituality #spiritual reading #affirmations #career #career reading #free reading #free tarot reading #oracle cards #tarot cards #affirmation cards #coworkers #coworker

[trickphotography2]

we can't be friends (but i'd like to just pretend)

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x unnamed female!reader, callsign Ladybug (story from Jake's POV)

Word count: 12.8k (sorry, it's a really long one)

Synopsis: Jake's not entirely sure how the bet came about other than being too drunk and maybe a little bored at the Fourth of July party. But after shaking on it with Yale, he agrees to help the new WSO - Ladybug - out with her crush on Rooster and figure out how to get the two of them to the Navy Ball together. With four months to get it done, it'll be simple. But when the reserved aviator is harder to get to know than expected, Jake has to push her to get out of her own way.

Written for @sorchathered Rom-Com challenge, with a prompt of She's All That

Warning: This fic does include angst (mentions of drunk driving and the aftermath, PTSD, loss of consciousness, and toxic men) with fluff

18+, minors DNI

Crossposted on Ao3 | My Masterlist

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The Hard Deck was busy for a Monday, which suited Jake just fine as long as he still had access to the dartboard and could flirt with some of the fresher faces while avoiding his previous mistakes. After a long day in the classroom, he was ready to let off some steam, and the pretty blonde thing by the bar looked like she’d do nicely. 

Downing the rest of his beer, he threw his last three darts, ending the game against Coyote with a decisive win and making his way to the bar. Yale and Omaha were there, but the rest of the Daggers were huddled by the pool table. As he passed, he could hear Phoenix telling everyone about the new WSO she was sponsoring that was finally arriving after her orders got pushed back - he still didn’t understand why she volunteered for the extra duty. Sponsors were great, but unless you had kids, getting established on a new base wasn’t hard - show up on time, figure out your housing, and report to command ASAP. There was no need to have someone hold your hand through the process. But that was just his opinion. If Phoenix wanted to spend her spare time being pen pals with folks moving to San Diego and running around to help them get settled, more power to her. 

Getting the blonde’s number was hardly a challenge, and she grinned at him while walking away to rejoin her friends. Jake motioned to Jimmy for another beer, and the older man quickly slid one over the counter. Moving closer to his fellow aviators, Jake leaned against the bar and surveyed the crowd. “Found yourself another tag chaser?” Yale chuckled, sipping his drink.

“Like shootin’ fish in a barrel,” Jake shrugged and smiled as the girl looked at him again. He threw a wink for good measure and saw how the friend group giggled.

The front door opened, and his eyes darted to the woman walking in. Even if she hadn’t been wearing her khakis, the god-awful birth control glasses that Bob also favored would have given her away as military. Jake let his gaze rake over the unfamiliar woman, clocking the double bars and wings as she looked around nervously. And then he heard Phoenix call out, and she looked up. 

Omaha looked up from his drink, tracking the woman as well. “Shit,” he hisses through his teeth before lifting his glass and taking a swig. “That’s Ladybug?” Twisting, Jake watched her reach Phoenix, who seemed to be introducing her to the rest of the crew.

“Ladybug?” Yale asked, straightening from where he leaned against the bar. His eyes tracked her as she moved, barely hiding a sneer behind his drink. 

“My new backseater,” Omaha sighed. Since Halo had gotten orders to Pensacola, the aviator had been waiting for his new WSO to arrive. 

“And would you look at that - girl’s swingin’ way out of her league.” Even from across the bar, Jake could see Ladybug blushing as she talked to Rooster and reached up to adjust her glasses. Phoenix, standing between them, caught his gaze and raised an eyebrow. Smirking, he turned away, his attention settling back on the table of women who weren’t subtle about their looking at him. Lifting his beer, he grinned around the mouth of the bottle before slapping the bar and pushing away from it.

“If you’ll excuse me, gents - looks like I’ve got an audience.” 

It was still early when he closed out his and Kristen’s tabs, and Jake reflexively looked back toward where the Daggers hung out. Most were still there, but he noted that Ladybug had already left. The scowl Phoenix shot him when she sensed his gaze let him know he’d get an earful tomorrow about not welcoming the new kid, but he’d deal with it.  

“Ready?” Kristen purred, running her hand up his back as she came alongside him. Grinning down at her, he nodded before signing his receipt and shoving his wallet into his back pocket.

“Let’s get outta here.” 

Weeks bled past, punctuated by a party at Payback’s for the Fourth of July. As the married man in the crew, the Fitch family was always happy to host.

And while Jake wasn’t purposefully keeping tabs on Ladybug - “Bug is fine,” she’d told everyone - he started to notice her absence more. While in the Ready Room, she often looked out the window and listened to the radio chatter while others played foosball and messed around. Omaha said she was good but missed Halo and joking around in the cockpit. Bob, Fanboy, and Phoenix seemed to be the only ones to get her to open up and crack a rare smile. She didn’t join them at lunch in the cafeteria or for drinks at the Hard Deck. 

And every time Rooster got near her, she got flustered. Her usual reserve and cool seemed to disappear, and she either clammed up or rambled. 

So, seeing her show up at the party with a fruit platter was surprising. Payback’s wife, Maria, quickly offered her a drink, and Bug joined Phoenix and her girlfriend, Kerri. From the grill, Jake watched as she mingled, and he wondered how she was wearing jeans on a day when the temperature was already reaching the mid-80s. Most of the other women had opted for shorts or summer dresses - god, he loved summer dress season - but Bug’s only concession to the heat seemed to be a short-sleeved shirt and occasionally pressing her cold soda can to her neck.

“I gotta ask,” Kerri said, her arm looping through Bug’s as they walked into the kitchen to grab food. “What’s the story behind Ladybug? Nat told me there’s always a story behind the callsign.” While assembling his burger, Jake found himself listening to their conversation.

“I, uh… I worked with a lot of…new… pilots when I was starting. There were a couple of close calls and,” she shrugged. “Ladybugs are good luck.” 

“Shit,” Rooster said, glancing up from spooning pasta salad onto his plate. He grinned, a sunburn already appearing on his face. “I remember you on the Ford now - you were the WSO with the kid just out of FRS who panicked when his landing gear got stuck and nearly skidded into the ocean.” 

Bug’s eyes were big behind her glasses as she flushed, pouring chips onto the table when she missed her plate. Quickly, she set the bag down and cleaned up her mess while muttering, “Yeah.” 

“Damn. That was a bad one - thought he was gonna ram the back of the carrier at first.” Rooster put down his plate and lifted his hands to demonstrate. “I heard the pilot started descent without realizing his front gear wasn’t down, missed the tailhook, and almost didn’t accelerate fast enough to recover. They circled and had to dump fuel while they got the barricades up, but they came in too low and nearly clipped the back of the ship before finally skidding in.” 

“Jesus!” Kerri said, looking at Bug. “Seriously?”

“It was his first carrier landing,” the woman replied with a shrug. “He got better.” 

“After we all had to sit through a lecture on the basics of landing,” Rooster smirked while grabbing his plate and throwing a wink at Bug, who flushed bright red. “Didn’t you both have to sit front and center for that one?”

“It was a good refresher.”

“He still flying?” Jake asked, biting into a carrot stick. Bug’s eyes flashed with something before her gaze dropped to her plate. 

“Not anymore,” she said softly, quickly heading back outside with her plain burger and a handful of chips. He and Rooster exchanged glances as Kerri got a worried look on her face. 

The drinks flowed, and Jake enjoyed himself as he hung out with his buddies. As fun as it was to have Mav around, it was also really nice when the soon-to-be-Admiral chose to hang out with his wife and stepdaughter, allowing the younger crowd to cut loose. Payback and Maria had already offered anyone who'd drank too much a safe space to crash, and Jake would take advantage of it. He and Yale went shot-for-shot in beer pong, and his tongue was red from the jello shots he’d consumed. 

“She’s delusional,” Yale slurred, punching Jake’s arm and pointing to where Bug and Rooster were chatting. “Not hot ‘nough to pull an aviator.”

“She’s an aviator too, dick,” Jake rolled his eyes, watching as Bug pressed her cold soda can to her throat. The movement shifted her shirt, and he could see that she had the beginning of a sunburn on her arms. Squinting, he stared at the raised red line that reached the middle of her bicep, and, as though feeling his gaze, she looked at him. Her eyes darted down to her arm, and she quickly adjusted her sleeve to hide it, her face flushing. 

“Oooh, Hangman’s gotta crush on Bug!” He rolled his eyes at the immaturity, sipping his beer and anticipating the hangover he’d have in the morning for mixing alcohol. 

“You’re drunk. She’s a decent WSO and keeps Omaha’s dumbass alive.” And that was true. As much as he never wanted a backseater, he couldn’t help but notice how methodical Bug was. She was the first on the flight line doing her pre-flight checks, talking to the flight crew and mechanics about anything that felt off in the jet. She took thorough notes during a mission brief and conferred with the other WSOs to triple-check things before heading out. He knew that Mav was keeping an eye on her, probably vetting her for a reference to a test program. 

The conversation shifted, and Jake could feel his tongue getting looser the more he drank. That was how he was somehow talked into a dumb bet - that Bug would catch Rooster’s eye and go to the Navy Ball with him. 

And Jake would help.

Bug left the party before night fell, missing the impressive fireworks and sparklers they set off in the front yard. They had to brush debris from their hair and use the hose to put out minor fires in the grass, but thankfully, the only injuries were minor burns.

As he lay on Payback’s couch, Jake closed one eye to stop the room from spinning when his phone started going off. He ignored the few messages asking what he was doing and if he wanted to come over, wishing he was sober enough to drive home instead of listening to Yale’s snoring. 

As much as Jake wanted to forget his drunken bet with Yale, the other pilot was adamant they followed through because he’d shaken on it. And, never one to back down from a challenge, he reluctantly agreed. 

His first step was reconnaissance. With four months until the Navy Ball, he knew he had enough time to enact his plan once he figured it out. He knew Rooster and the type of women he usually dated. And it wasn’t that Bug was unattractive, just that she seemed not to give a shit what she looked like. Which wasn’t great because Rooster usually dated women who did. They wouldn’t have been caught dead in public without a perfect face of makeup, while Bug seemed content with eyeliner, not even bothering to hide the pimples that occasionally decorated her face. The few times he saw her off duty, she favored comfortable clothes over cute, and he never saw her hair out of anything but the regulation bun or a ponytail. 

However, Jake's most significant obstacle was her confidence. While Bug had no problems with her confidence regarding her job, the moment the conversation strayed outside anything to do with work, she seemed anxious. And if she was going to get Rooster’s attention, that would need to change. 

The first thing he had to do, though, was to gain her trust. Without that, she wouldn’t hear him out on any of his suggestions.

Which was why he found himself approaching her at lunch after seeing her sitting outside at one of the few tables under the trees that the smokers usually used during breaks. She looked down at her phone, occasionally tapping the screen as she picked at her lunch. “Mind if I join you?” Jake asked, not bothering to wait for her answer before tossing his heated-up chicken and rice onto the table and sitting. Bug gave him a surprised look but returned her attention to her phone, eyes occasionally flicking toward him as he ate and watched her finish her apples, cheese, and crackers. She blushed every time their eyes met, and he noticed she wasn’t tapping her phone as much. He was about to say something when she frowned, tossed her apple back into her lunch container, and tucked the phone to her ear.

“Hey, gimme a second.” With a tight smile, Bug gathered her things and shoved them into her lunch bag, slipping it over her arm before standing and walking away. 

Jake tried again the next day, only to find that Bug wasn’t at the table. Instead, he saw her walking around the building with her headphones in, her flight suit tied around her waist, and one of her sleeves pushed up. On the third day, he beat her to the table and saw her pause when she caught sight of him. “I don’t bite, Bug,” he called out and saw her shoulders tense. Her gaze was guarded as she trudged to the table and sat, not saying a word as she pulled out her container of apples, cheese, and crackers with flavored water. His eyes darted over her meal as she opened the container. “So what’d’ya think about the new group of trainees?”

Her hand froze as she dug in her pocket, eyes slowly lifting to meet his. “They’re cocky.” Her answer made him smirk as he reached across the table to grab a hunk of cheese from her lunch. “Hey!”

“We were all cocky when we got here. The instructors and Adversary students will beat it outta them.” Bug gave him an incredulous look as he popped the cheese in his mouth and grinned. 

“Clearly, they didn’t beat it out of everyone.” The steely look she gave him was the most animated he’d seen her. She slapped the back of his hand when he reached for a cracker. “You have your own lunch, Hangman.” 

“That’s not a lunch, Bug, that’s a kid’s snack. You need protein.” She ignored him and pulled out her phone, tapping on the screen. Chuckling, he opened his lunchbox and took out his meal, stirring the chicken and rice together. He watched her as he ate, smirking every time he caught her glancing at him and noting the rising blush on her cheeks. “Why do you hide out here?” he asked. 

“I hardly think sitting outside the office is hiding,” came her clipped response. 

“It is if you’re avoiding your squad.” 

“Maybe I just like peace and quiet while I’m eating.” 

“And scrolling social media.” 

“I’m not - ” Bug lowered her phone enough for him to glance at the screen, seeing it covered in text. “I just like to read in silence, okay? Do you mind?” Jake shrugged and didn’t say anything for a few minutes until he finished eating, his fork clattering in the glass container as he tossed it down. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. 

“What are you reading?” 

“A book.” 

“Is it any good?”

“It’s hard to tell when someone keeps interrupting me.” 

“What type is it?” 

“An e-book.”

“No,” he chuckled. “History? Non-fiction? Biography?” The faded blush roared back, and she refused to meet his gaze. His grin grew as he asked, “Is it a sex book?”

Bug locked her phone and set it face down on the table. Crossing her arms over her chest, she lifted her chin, lips pressed into a thin line. “What do you want, Hangman?” 

“Nothin’. Just trying to get to know my new squadmate.” 

“You don’t have to know me,” she snapped, shoving her things into her lunch bag. “I already have a sponsor and a pilot.” Startled by her response and the tears glistening in her eyes, he pushed to his feet as she stood.

“Bug - ”

“Just leave me alone, Hangman.” 

For as close as the squad worked together, Bug was good at holding herself apart from the team. After slipping a note into her locker with a quickly jotted ‘Sorry’ and feeling like he’d regressed to high school, Jake left her alone. Losing a bet wasn’t worth being an asshole and causing a rift in team dynamics. 

But while she was ignoring him, it was good to see that she was at least talking to Phoenix. And, every once in a while, Rooster, who still seemed oblivious to her crush. Jake tried not to look at Yale whenever the two interacted, not wanting to see the mocking eye-roll the other aviator would send his way. The way she’d blushed and tripped over her boots when Rooster patted her shoulder after a run where Omaha managed to get tone on him with her guidance was enough for Yale to go on a ten-minute tear about her at the Hard Deck.

Jake had walked away. He hadn’t even stayed long enough to pick someone up and went back to his apartment, wondering what the hell Yale had against Bug.

An August rainstorm drove Bug inside to the cafeteria, and Bob waved her over to join them. The only seat left was between Jake and Rooster, and she reluctantly settled between them and opened her salad. Jake was happy to see bits of grilled chicken in it but forced himself not to say anything. He was relieved that Yale, Harvard, and Fritz had decided to go to the food court for lunch so he wouldn’t have to witness how Bug kept herself apart, how she picked at her food, and how her eyes were downcast. When Phoenix mentioned the upcoming beach trip, she didn’t hear the offer to join until Rooster nudged her, brow furrowing in concern. 

“Yeah, sure,” she murmured, not seeming to realize what she agreed to. 

Later, when they were in the desk farm, Jake saw Bug jump out of her seat and leave quickly, phone pressed to her ear.

And Yale glared at her while looking up from his phone.

Bug needs help and you’re the closest. Here’s her address.

Jake stared at his phone as he sat at a red light. Halfway to the beach, he quickly flicked his blinker to pull a U-turn and head back toward his house. Bug only lived a few streets away from him, in one of the apartment complexes that had gone up over the last year.

He spotted her standing by her car, phone pressed to her ear and lower lip between her teeth. Jake frowned when he drove behind her, seeing the tilted vehicle. Rather than pulling into a spot, he parked behind her and hopped out to see that two tires were slashed. Her eyebrows rose behind her glasses when she saw him, and she quickly spun to avoid his concerned gaze, her floor-length floral skirt fluttering. 

“Whatever is closest, I don’t care,” she said, and he could hear the barely constrained tears in her voice. “Yeah, two tires…. Alright, thank you.” He crouched and ran his finger over the puncture mark on the back tire, glancing up to see that Bug’s shoulders were up by her ears. 

“You alright?” he asked.

“I’m fine. I told Phoenix that I didn’t need anyone here.” 

“Someone slashed your tires.”

“It happened to a few people last night,” she shrugged, slowly turning to face him. “It’s an annoyance, but nothing I can’t handle on my own.” 

“Was that the insurance company?” 

“Yeah. They’re going to tow it to a garage for me.”

“Alright, how long are they gonna be?”

“They said an hour, which probably means two. You should go and enjoy the beach.” 

“I’m not going, Bug. Did you call the police?” 

“They’re the ones who let me know it happened. One of my neighbors called them after he came out and saw his slashed.”

“So you’ve got the report number?” When she nodded, he ran a hand through his hair. “Alright, I’m gonna move my truck.” 

“Hangman, I’m serious - ”

“So am I. I can sit in my truck or wait by your car, or we can go inside, but I’m not leaving until they get your car. And then we can go to the beach.” 

“I’m not going to the beach.”

“We’ll see.” Bug’s lips pressed into a thin line as she crossed her arms, hip cocking to one side. He smiled at the sight, eyes snagging on the red scar on her arm. With his sunglasses on, she didn’t notice.

Her apartment was nice, in the ‘recently moved in and haven’t fully unpacked’ way. As she grabbed some water, he looked at the cart of books sitting by her couch. One caught his eye, and he flipped to a random page. 

Patroclus is breathing harder than the effort to hold our princess down requires, and his cock is so stiff, it’ll be a fucking miracle if he doesn’t come just from foreplay. It’s fine if he does. We have all of tonight and tomorrow. 

“What are you doing?” 

Jake looked up from the book and grinned, holding it so the cover faced her. “I didn’t realize you were reading porn at lunch.” 

“It’s not porn,” she snapped, reaching for the book. He wasn’t sure why he did it, but he held the book higher and read aloud. 

“I plan on tucking these two in for some rest after I fuck the worry out - oof!” He doubled over when her fist collided with his stomach, not enough to hurt but to startle him. Face bright red, Bug snatched the book from his hand and returned it to the cart, standing protectively in front of it. “That’s definitely porn,” Jake chuckled. “Good for you. Didn’t take you for a threesome kinda girl - ”

Bug let out a strangled sound before she lunged forward to press her hands to his mouth. “Will you shut the fuck up, Hangman?” Fighting back the urge to lick her palm, he wrapped his fingers around her wrist and pulled her hand from his mouth, unable to keep from grinning. 

“Your secret’s safe with me, Bug. I won’t tell anyone that you avoid talking to us so you can spend your lunch reading sexy - ”

“Thanks for stopping by; now get the hell out of my house,” she cut him off, ripping her hand out of his hold and pressing it to his shoulder, trying to turn him toward the door. He shook her off, choosing to collapse onto the couch instead. She glared at him briefly before sighing heavily as he reached for one of the water glasses she’d dropped onto the coffee table. Sitting on the opposite side, she grabbed the other glass and ran her thumb through the condensation already forming on the sides. “You really don’t have to stay. The tow driver’ll take care of my car, and I don’t feel like going to the beach after this.”

“‘M startin’ to get the feeling that you don’t like us, Ladybug.” While his tone was teasing, Jake meant every word. “You don’t eat with us, you won’t go to the Hard Deck, and now you’re avoiding a beach day? Those are pretty much mandatory for the squadron.”

Hurt flashed in her eyes, and Bug’s teeth dug into her lower lip. “I… I don’t dislike you guys. I just… there’s a lot of stuff that - ” Her cell started vibrating on the coffee table. Jake’s eyes shot to it, catching the name RISK and seeing a picture of a guy in a flight suit, smirking up at the camera and flipping it off. Bug snatched the phone up, eyes darting toward him. “I’m sorry, I have to take this.” Quickly, she stood while answering it and walking toward her bedroom. “Hey, how’s it - ”

The door closed, muffling her voice. Jake stared at it momentarily before pushing to his feet and walking to the fridge to get a refill. While the rest of the apartment was pretty bare, the refrigerator was covered in magnets from across the world, puns about books, a few bills, and a couple of pictures. He recognized the man from her phone screen as the one with one arm around Bug and her head on his shoulder as they sat in the shadow of an F-18’s wing, hair a tangled mess with her helmet between her knees and a pair of glasses with brown frames perched on her nose. They were there in a group, Bug laughing while sitting on his shoulders and his fingers digging into her thighs to hold her steady at an outdoor concert, the hem of her dress sitting on his head. There were pictures of a softball team, Bug grinning with a bat resting on her bare shoulder.

And Jake realized it was the first time he’d seen her smile like that. 

That thought irked him. And it definitely didn’t make him pay more attention to the calendar hanging in the kitchen. Sipping his water, his eyes darted over her small, neat handwriting, and his brows furrowed. Risk’s PT. Deposition. PCP follow-up. Chiro follow-up. FS reassessment. 

When the bedroom door opened, he was back on the couch, reading one of Bug’s books. Her eyes were red when she stepped out, and he clocked the fake smile. “Tow truck driver just called and said he’s pulling in.” When her eyes landed on the book in his hand - the Kiss Quotient - color rose in her pale cheeks. 

“Good timing. We’ll get that taken care of and head out. Harvard’s already texted me a list of things people forgot, so we’ll grab those at the store on the way.” 

“Hangman - ”

“Bug.” It was his turn to cut her off, the playful tone absent in his voice. “Come on. Give us a chance. If nothing else, Rooster’ll be there.” 

“Why would - ”

“I’m borrowing this, by the way,” he added, raising the book and tucking it under his arm while walking to slip on his shoes.

“What? No - you don’t want - ” The front door shut behind him, and Jake couldn’t help but chuckle when he heard Bug open the door and call for him to stop. He ignored it, going to greet the tow truck driver. 

It was hard not to pay attention to Bug after that day at the beach. She’d declined every offer to play a game, instead sitting on her towel and reading. She didn’t even change into a bathing suit - choosing to wear that long skirt that covered all but the tops of her feet and a t-shirt that gave her a farmer’s tan. The most skin she showed was a flash of ankle when she walked along the water with Kerri, pausing to pick up shells occasionally as Rooster and Phoenix trailed them. Jake tried not to pay too much attention when, on the way back, Kerri and Phoenix pulled ahead, leaving Rooster and Bug walking side by side and chatting.  

But she stayed through the late afternoon retreat to the Hard Deck, sipping cranberry juice and ginger ale. When she stood beside Rooster as he pulled his usual party trick of playing the piano, Jake tried not to notice how her skirt and his hideous Hawaiian shirt almost matched and pay attention to the woman chatting him up. He saw Bug looking at her phone a few times but only slipped away twice before calling it a night. She declined his offer to drive her home when he managed to shake off the woman - Jackie? - for a few minutes, and said goodbye to everyone instead of disappearing as usual. 

And now that he was watching, he noticed how frequently she left work early on days they weren’t in the air. The occasional wince when she turned too quickly to look at something, and how she sometimes favored her left side toward the end of the day. The handful of over-the-counter painkillers she took after they did PT and drove home before hitting the showers. 

She didn’t join them at lunch every day, but she started to make appearances, even though she mostly stayed quiet and frequently left to answer a phone call before the end of the break. And Jake found himself seeking her out at the smoker’s table. After he returned her book, teasing her mercilessly about the explicit sex scenes in the story, she just put in her headphones and flipped him the bird before going for a walk. 

He wouldn’t admit it, but the book had been hot. And it made him wonder what else Bug was reading, face blank as she sat across from him. 

The only one who seemed unhappy about the change was Yale. Jake caught the aviator watching her through narrowed eyes a handful of times and noticed how she went out of her way to avoid him. When he asked Bug about it, she just shrugged and changed the topic. 

The only activity she had yet to do was a night at the Hard Deck, so Jake found himself standing at her front door, grinning at her confused expression. “We’re going out,” he said, reaching over her head to open the door wider and inviting himself inside. 

“What? No, bra hours are done.” Laughing, he kicked off his shoes and spun, planting his hands on his hips. She crossed her arms over her chest, making the thin material of her t-shirt cling to the swell of her breasts and a thin strip of skin appear over the waistband of her sweatpants. 

“Come on, Bug. You need to do a Hard Deck night with us. Everyone’s gonna be there in a few, and it’ll be fun.” When she stared at him, he forced his smile to not falter. “You can’t tell me you didn’t have fun the two times you’ve been there before.” 

“I…” she paused and took a deep breath, eyes pinching behind her glasses. “I appreciate the invitation, Hangman, but I want a quiet night. I’m exhausted and - ”

“Just a couple of hours. Have a few drinks, play some pool, and then I’ll bring you home. Promise.” The longer he looked at her, the more his smile faltered. So he played his ace - “Rooster’ll be there.” 

Her brows knit together for a moment before her expression cleared. “I’ll give you one hour,” she sighed.

“Three.”

“I’m not putting my bra back on for three hours. Two or no deal.” 

“You’ve got it. As long as you wear something other than jeans.” 

“What’s wrong with jeans?” she demanded, squeaking in protest when he pushed past her into her bedroom. He flicked on the light, glancing quickly at her unmade bed and rumpled sheets before moving toward her closet. “Do you even know what boundaries are?” 

He quickly flicked past her flight suits and uniforms, finding what he was looking for in the back of her closet. Grabbing the hanger, he grinned while turning to see Bug’s scowl. “Wear this,” Jake said, trying to hand her the hanger holding a sundress. She stared at it, eyes slowly raising to meet his.

“No.” 

“Come on.” 

“No.”

“You’ll look hot in it.” 

“I’m wearing jeans or nothing.”

“Not sure why you’d be naked instead of wearing a dress, but I’m not opposed.” She blushed, shaking her head. 

“Goodnight, Hangman. Thanks for stopping by, but I’m tired.” Jake sighed her name, making her eyebrows shoot up. He’d never called her that before, and he wasn’t sure why he did it now. She was always Bug or Ladybug. 

“Wear the dress. Come out and have fun with your friends. Please?” Their gazes met, and he could see the conflict in her eyes. And, after a long moment, she reached out to take the hanger. Their fingers brushed, and he tried to keep his eyes trained on hers but couldn’t help but notice how her breathing had increased. The slight tightness around her mouth as she blinked quickly. And the subtle way her body trembled. 

“I-I’m going to jump in the shower.” 

When the bathroom door closed, Jake had the urge to knock on it and tell her she didn’t have to wear the damn dress. That she could go in her sweatpants and he wouldn’t care. That he was an idiot for asking, Yale’s reminder about their bet ringing in his ears as he drove past her street. She didn’t have to wear a damn dress to get Rooster’s attention, and she shouldn’t have a crush on a guy who was so oblivious.

Instead, he walked back to the kitchen, opened the cupboards until he found a glass, and helped himself to some water. He stared at that picture of Bug on the man’s shoulders. Her eyes nearly closed behind her glasses with how broadly she smiled, one hand holding a cowgirl hat to her head, the other thrown out to keep herself steady with a beer clutched in her hand. 

Jake couldn’t believe that Rooster wouldn’t remember a girl like that. Even without the makeup and smiles, there was no mistaking Bug. Behind those birth control glasses, he could still see glimpses of that woman in the WSO. And it bothered him not to know what had happened to dim that shine. 

He was a few chapters into another book he’d plucked off the cart when he heard the shower turn off, the blow dryer starting a few minutes later. Jake glanced at his phone to check the time, ignoring the texts asking where he was and if he was going to the Hard Deck. Instead, he set his phone beside him. He settled on the couch, leaning against the arm and making himself comfortable as he read about a group of guys who got together and read romance books to save their relationships. 

Jake was lost in Gavin and Thea’s story when he heard a throat clear. Sitting up quickly, he spun in his seat, jaw nearly dropping at the sight of Bug. But not his Bug - the Bug from the picture, standing in her doorway with a teasing smirk on her red lips and uncertainty in her eyes. She shifted under his open admiration, hand lifting to adjust the glasses that she wasn’t wearing. “Let me guess, you’re gonna borrow that one too?” 

“I…uh… yeah,” he nodded, moving to stand before her. She hadn’t pulled her hair back into its usual bun or ponytail, leaving it down so it curled against her shoulders. Jake let his gaze dance down her body, and Bug’s shoulders pulled back under his blatant inspection, inadvertently drawing his attention to her breasts pressing against the sweetheart neckline of her dress. When she crossed her arms, his attention went to the raised red scar on her right arm, and he had to stop himself from reaching out and tracing it with his fingertips. It was about the width of a pencil, curling from the top of her shoulder to the middle of her bicep. Sensing her discomfort, he tore his gaze away, allowing it to drift lower. Her dress skimmed the top of her knees, and he bit back a groan at seeing cowboy boots on her feet, red scars decorating the skin on display. 

Bug’s hand was clenched tightly around a jean jacket, and Jake could feel the discomfort radiating off her. But she met his eyes when they lifted. He wasn’t a makeup expert, but he could appreciate how her eyeshadow and winged eyeliner complemented her eyes, and he found it heartening that he could still see the little divot on her nose from her glasses. “Can you even see without your BCGs?” Jake asked after clearing his throat. 

The apprehension drained from her face at his gentle teasing, and Bug scoffed while rolling her eyes. “I hate wearing contacts, but I’ll put up with it for a couple of hours.” Shaking his head, he reached for her jacket and took it, holding it out to help her slip it on. His fingers accidentally grazed her neck, and he caught the subtle scent of something floral when she turned toward him. His eyes went to her lips like they were a painted target, and her voice was a little breathier than usual when she spoke. “I’ll meet you there?” 

“I’ll drive,” he answered, voice husky as he stepped back.

“I’ll drive so you can have a couple of drinks.”

He shook his head, digging into his jeans pocket for his keys. “You can be my WSO tonight and pick the music, but I’m driving.” That made her roll her eyes, and Jake had to force himself not to stare at her ass as she walked in front of him out of the apartment and down to his waiting truck.

In the dark interior of his truck, he could smell her perfume and gripped the shifter to keep from placing his hand on the expanse of her thigh that flashed in every streetlight they drove under. Seemingly oblivious to his struggle, she sang along to a 90s station about kissing in the moonlight. 

And, once they were outside the Hard Deck, she paused, her hand slipping into his for a fleeting moment. He could feel her shaking and squeezed her fingers before she let him go and stepped into the bar. 

Everyone would have paused to witness the not-improved-by-different Bug if it had been a movie. But no one seemed to notice them enter, and Jake reclaimed her hand to help tow her through the weekend crowd to where he knew the Daggers would be waiting. And that was where Bug got the recognition she deserved, when Kerri catcalled her, making a flush rise on her cheeks as Phoenix’s girlfriend took her hand and dragged her from Jake, encouraging her to do a little twirl. He saw a couple of glances at her scars, but thankfully, no one said anything. 

And Jake spent the night catching men checking her out, but Bug remained oblivious. When he went to the bar to get them some sodas - he overheard a conversation from two pilots about not recognizing her. “Now that’s the Bug I remember,” Rooster said as he joined him at the counter, setting down his empty beer bottle. Jake glanced at his wingman and nodded as they watched her laugh at something Omaha said to her and Fanboy. 

“Hey, Jake,” a somewhat familiar voice said, and he felt a hand on his lower back. A woman slid into the vacant spot beside him, smiling coyly. “Long time no see. Wanna buy me a drink and catch up?” 

For his life, he couldn’t put a name to her face, but he was pretty sure they’d slept together. Beside him, Rooster snorted and ordered his beers. Jake tore his gaze away from the woman and caught Penny before she left. “I’ll get two Cokes, please.”

“That’s not my usual,” she giggled.

“No, it’s my friend’s,” he replied. He shouldn’t have enjoyed the shocked look on her face, but he felt relieved when her hand lifted, and she disappeared into the crowd. 

But when he looked over to see what Bug was up to, she’d also disappeared. When he returned to the group, Bob said she’d stepped onto the patio to take a phone call. Jake sipped his soda and tried not to keep glancing at his watch, but his eyes darted to the back door. Yale arrived, pressing a beer bottle into his hand as they played darts, and he didn’t think before drinking it. 

Forty minutes had passed when he finally decided to look for her. The late September night was still relatively warm, but it was breezy by the water. The laughs were loud on the patio, but he didn’t see her at the tables. The parking lot lights spilled out onto the beach, and Jake caught sight of a flash of color in the corner of his eyes. His feet moved before he realized it, shoes sliding in the soft sand. As he neared, he could see Bug had removed her boots, her forearm across her raised knees as she curled into herself, trying to make herself as small as possible. “It’s okay, Risk,” her voice was soft, and he could hear her sniffle. The sound made him move faster, shrugging off his bomber jacket as he neared. 

Sensing his approach, Bug lifted her head, and his heart broke at the sight of tears on her cheeks as she talked on the phone. In the weak moonlight, he mouthed, “You okay?” She looked at him for a long moment before shaking her head, letting her forehead drop back onto her arm. Jake hesitated a heartbeat before draping his jacket across her shoulders and sitting beside her. The sand was cool, and he rested his elbows on his knees, clasping his wrist and trying not to listen to Bug’s call over the crash of the waves. 

“Risk, I… yeah. But it’s getting… I need to…” she heaved a weary sigh, digging her nails into her shoulder. “I’m going to go, alright? We can talk tomorrow and… I told you, I'm with some friends toni - ” The voice on the other side of the line got loud, and she lifted her head to swipe at her eyes. “No, I’m not fucking any of them, Risk.” The words made his blood boil, but Bug just sounded so tired. “I’ll talk to you - alright, good… I know you’re upset, but I ne - please don’t say that…Risk, I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight.” 

They were silent for a long time, the only sounds were Bug’s occasional sniffles and the tide coming in. A weight hit his bicep, and Jake turned to see that she’d rested her head on his shoulder. He lifted his arm, tugging her closer. She was trembling, and he knew it wasn’t from the cold. “Wanna talk about it?” he asked. When she didn’t answer, he didn’t push. 

“Risk is…was,” Bug said, voice rough with suppressed emotion, “my pilot before I got here. W-we were really close.” It was on the tip of his tongue to say that didn’t give him a right to say that to her, but her next words froze him. “We were in a bad car accident coming h-home from my going away party.”

“How bad?” Jake asked, not wanting to know the answer. 

“Bad. We were t-boned by a drunk driver and - ” she gasped, letting him pull her closer when she started to shake. “Rolled a few times.” Her hand lifted to touch her temple. “I woke up, and everything was upside down. I hit my head so hard that my glasses broke. But I was lucky. Just had a concussion and cuts from crawling out of the glass. Risk wasn’t… he…he was turned to look at me when  we got hit, and he took the brunt of it.” 

“Is he okay?” 

Bug shook her head, tears dripping off her face as she stared at the water, her voice sounding distant. “Paralyzed from his chest down. The docs think he might get some feeling back, but he’ll never walk again. Never fly again. They’re med boarding him out for that and the TBI.”

���Fuck.”

“One minute we were having drinks and he was telling me he was in love with me, and the next everything was literally upside down.” It was his turn to tense.

“D-did… do you love him?”

“Like a brother.” Jake nodded, pushing away the feeling of relief at her words. His heart cracked when he heard her soft sob. “He’s so angry with me. He doesn’t remember the crash, but I do. I think I was conscious for the first two rolls, and…he was so still. I thought he died. I thought I’d lost my best friend and couldn’t do anything to help him.” Acting on instinct, he pulled her into his arms, her knees digging into the sand by his hips as he held her. He could feel her warm tears on his neck as his hand swept her back, holding her tightly. 

But while he half expected her to fall to pieces, Bug just let out these little hiccupping sobs that broke his heart. “I’ve gotcha,” he said, whispering her name as his lips brushed her hair. 

“I should have let them ground me.” The words were so quiet he would have missed them if they weren’t so close. “I had to leave the day after he woke up. I stayed as long as I could, Hangman, I swear. But the flight surgeon cleared me for duty, and I had orders. I had to come here.” 

“You had orders,” he echoed. “He can’t blame you for that.” When she nodded, he repeated himself. “He can’t blame you for that, Bug.”

“He feels like I abandoned him. That I left my wingman. I-I figured you all would feel the same way… Yale does.” 

“What does Yale have to do with this?” 

“He was in our squadron before he got stationed here.” A chill ran down Jake’s spine, bits of information slotting into place. It was quickly replaced with anger. 

Gently, he pulled away from Bug until he could meet her watery gaze. Her eyes were guarded, exhaustion etched in every feature as he ran his thumb across her cheeks to try and clear away the mess of her makeup. “You did nothing wrong, honey. And no one can blame you for what happened - the accident or you being here. Understood?” When her eyes lowered, unable to meet his, he cupped her cheek and raised her head. “Understood?” 

“Did you drink?” His stomach dropped, tasting the beer Yale had given him on his tongue, smelling it on his breath. 

“Just one.” Bug nodded, bracing her hands on his shoulders and pushing to her feet. It took everything in him not to stop her, his hands sliding to her hips as she looked down at him.

“I’m gonna get a car.”

“I can drive - ”

“No.” He let his hands fall to the sand, hating himself for forgetting his promise. “It’s fine. You should stay and have fun.” 

As much as it killed him, he waited with her in the parking lot for her car to arrive, wanting to pull her into his arms but resisting the urge. But when she tried to give him his jacket, he pushed it back into her hands. “I’ll get it later and grab yours before I leave.”

Bug nodded, saying as she slid into the backseat, “Thanks for tonight, Hangman.” He waited until the tail lights had pulled out of the parking lot before turning and making his way into the Hard Deck. 

He wanted to get the hell out of there and pushed his way to the counter to close out his tab. Bug’s jacket was by the pool tables, and he threw down the pen to retrieve it after signing his receipt. Fury rose in him as he spotted Yale laughing with Harvard and Omaha. Without thinking, he stalked toward him, shoving the other aviators out of the way to grab him by his collar and pushed until Yale’s back hit the wall. Jake ignored the ‘Hey!’s and ‘Whoa!’s, the hands trying to pull him away as he leaned close to hiss, “You leave her the fuck alone, hear me? Leave her alone, or I’ll fuckin’ kill you.” 

Hands curled around him, yanking him away, and Rooster banded an arm around his chest while Harvard stepped between them, holding back his pilot. The bar quieted in anticipation of a fight, but Jake only had eyes for Yale, who grinned. “Finally told you, huh? So much for never leaving a man behind.” 

Rooster pulled hard, Payback catching his arm when he raised his fist. “Come on, man,” Rooster grunted, hauling him away. “It’s not worth it.” 

He grit his teeth, breathing heavily through his nose as he shook off the other men. Grabbing Bug’s jacket, he stormed out of the bar, avoiding Penny and Mav’s gaze and the whispers that followed. 

Bug’s jacket sat on his front seat as Jake drove into work on Monday. He’d texted to check on her over the weekend, but she told him she was okay and didn’t want to see anyone. His phone had been blown up with the other Daggers trying to figure out what happened on Friday, but Jake didn’t know how to tell them without sharing Bug’s story - and that wasn’t his to tell. 

The morning briefing was short, and they were dismissed to the Ready Room to prepare for their flights. Jake was going up in the first group. But before he headed out to the flight line, he stopped Bug on her way out of the classroom. “I’m fine,” she said, answering his unasked question. He could see the dark circles under her eyes and the silent request for him to not say anything. So he didn’t. Other than telling her that her jacket was in his car, Jake asked if she’d brought lunch or a kid’s snack. That earned him a tired smile, and she said she would have to buy lunch today. 

But they wouldn’t get that opportunity.

Bug went up in the second group, and Jake listened to the radio chatter while lounging on the couch. He was happy to have gotten tone on Yale and Harvard, pulling riskier moves that Cyclone wasn’t pleased with, but it had been definitely worth it to hear the asshole cursing him over the mic. 

Their flight started routine enough, and Jake was helping himself to a cup of coffee when he noted a change in Bug’s tone. “Hey Omaha, you with me?” she asked after he’d pulled a quick roll into a dive to avoid Fritz’s attempt to lock on them, climbing to regain altitude as they neared the hard deck. “Omaha?”

“Omaha, come in,” Fritz echoed. “Bug, his radio out?” Even though they were out of sight, flying over the desert, Jake’s eyes flicked to the window.

“Negative, radio’s fine. Omaha?” He could hear the tension in her voice. 

“Shit - level wings, Omaha.”

“He’s out!” 

“Inbound,” Rooster called. The Ready Room was silent, and Jake didn’t realize he’d moved closer to the radio until he felt the volume dial in his fingers, cranking it higher. 

“Bug - status?” the tower called. 

“Losing altitude. Fuck!” Hot coffee splashed over his hand as Jake squeezed the paper cup, and he quickly set it down, shaking away the burning liquid at the sound of her panic. 

“Omaha, recover!” the tower yelled. “Someone give me details. 

“55 nose low, 67 bank,” Fanboy called out. 

“They’re diving,” Phoenix breathed. Jake felt a hand on his shoulder but couldn’t move. Couldn’t do anything but listen to Bug’s panting breath over the radio. 

“Come on, Omaha,” Payback barked. 

And then Jake heard it - Bitchin’ Betty telling Omaha to pull up. “Punch out,” he whispered. His hand itched for the throttle and stick, adrenaline racing as he pictured the dive. As a backseater, Bug was helpless. There was no stick, no throttle. Just the radar, letting her know how close to the ground they were. Their speed. It was her pilot’s job to keep her safe. He was vaguely aware of Coyote coming up beside him, probably reliving his G-LOC blackout just a year ago. 

“Tone,” Fritz called. 

“8G, mach,” Fanboy called. “Alt 500.” They were nose down, headed toward the ground at the speed of sound. 

“Recover, Omaha!” Rooster yelled. But then one voice drowned all the rest, a scream that Jake would hear in his nightmares for years.

“Neil!” 

“Climbing,” Fanboy called.

“Back, I’m back,” Omaha panted. “Fuck.” 

“Knock off,” the tower ordered, scrubbing the rest of the exercise. “Alright, Omaha, climb back above 12,000.” 

“Payback, knockoff.”

“Fritz, knockoff.”

“Fuck, Bug, you good?” Rooster’s question went unanswered, so he repeated it. “Bug, status?” 

“Bug?” Omaha said. 

“9K and climbing,” came her shaky voice. 

“Rooster, knockoff. See you on the ground.”

“You good?” Coyote asked.

Twenty-seven seconds. Omaha had been out for the longest twenty-seven seconds of Jake’s life. 

“She’s good, Hangman,” Phoenix said. But he didn’t hear it. He focused on the radio, listening to the tower guide everyone back in. Rooster refused to land before Omaha, wanting to keep an eye on everything from the air. The room emptied, and he stayed there until Omaha alerted the tower that he was in the landing position. 

And then he bolted, sprinting past the others to the tarmac, barely restraining himself from running to the jet as Omaha landed and taxied. It took ages for the engines to stop and the canopy to lift. There wasn’t any movement for a long moment until Omaha stood, turning to look at his WSO. He extended his arm, and Jake was relieved to see her arm reach up to bump fists. His breath was sawing in and out of his chest as he raced toward her, barely skidding to a halt as the two embraced as soon as their boots hit the tarmac. “So fuckin’ sorry, Bug,” Omaha breathed. “Never happened before, and it - ”

“Are you alright?” Jake demanded, forcing himself not to shove the other man away, his hands clenching and unclenching as he tried to draw deep breaths. 

“We’re good,” Omaha answered.

“Are you alright?” Jake demanded again, gaze not leaving Bug’s wide eyes. Her face was damp, and he could see the imprint of her mask on her pale face, but otherwise, she seemed fine. 

“We’re good,” she repeated, her voice steady. But when he pulled her into his arms, he could feel that she was shaking hard and smelled the sharp scent of sweat. He was vaguely aware of the others arriving, their questions going unanswered as Bug rested her helmeted head on his shoulder, hiding her face from them.

“I’ve gotcha.” He didn’t want to let her go, but he knew they needed to make their way to medical. She and Omaha would need to be checked out and debriefed. Eventually, she pulled away and looked up at him, and Jake made himself give her a reassuring smile as he reached to unclip her helmet. Her hair was sleek with sweat when he lifted it from her head, tucking it under his arm. 

“Hey,” Rooster said, appearing beside them, glancing between the two. “You good?” 

“Yeah,” Bug nodded, stepping toward him and throwing her arms around him. “Thank you, Rooster.”

“‘Course. You ready to get checked out?” She nodded, glancing at Jake. He handed her the helmet and tipped his chin to where the flight surgeon was already talking to Omaha. It hurt to turn away from her, and he caught a flash of something in her eyes as he moved away to shake Fritz’s hand. Rooster threw him a look before tossing an arm over Bug’s shoulder and walking her toward the doc, stopping so she could hug Payback and Fanboy along the way. 

They spent the rest of the day in the classroom, neither Omaha nor Bug joining them. When Jake left work, he saw that her car was already gone. There was talk of getting together to have a few drinks at the Hard Deck, but Jake had no interest in going - especially not when Bob had quipped about another lucky landing for Ladybug.

He’d planned on going straight home and having a glass of whiskey. It was his preferred way to wind down after a hard day, and this one hit harder than most. It wasn’t the first time he’d almost lost a wingman, and he knew it would take some time to shake, but this time was… different. 

This time, it was Bug.

Jake was parking at her apartment and knocking on her door before he realized it. His fist collided with the metal when she didn’t answer. “Bug, it’s me,” he called. She was there - her car was in its spot. But she didn’t answer. He banged again, then rested his forehead on the door, calling her name. When he heard the flick of the lock, he straightened. 

Bug’s eyes were red when they met his, her hair a tangled mess on her shoulders. She was still in her flight suit, the sleeves tied around her waist and her black undershirt discolored with sweat. They stared at one another for a heartbeat before Jake stepped closer, cupped her face, and kissed her. His lips were rough against hers, and he took advantage of her surprised gasp to deepen it. Her hand carded in his hair and he walked them into her apartment, pausing only long enough to kick the door closed. He moved his hand to curl around her neck, guiding her to just the right spot while his other hand slid under her shirt, wanting to reassure himself that she was alright. Bug moaned as his hand curved around her waist, fingers digging in and pulling her close enough to feel her heart beating against his. 

Jake tasted spearmint on her tongue and, when they broke apart to catch their breath, the salt on her skin as his lips sealed on her throat. His fingers curled in her hair, tugging lightly to encourage her to give him more access as he nipped and soothed the hurt with his tongue. “Fuck,” she breathed. 

“Don’t scare me like that, honey,” he whispered, relishing the soft whimper she let out. “Can’t do that to me.” 

“I was so scared,” she admitted. “It was just like the crash. I couldn’t do anything but watch.” His mouth covered hers, unwilling and unable to think about her being in situations where he couldn’t do anything to help. Standing by the radio and listening, being helpless, had been the worst kind of torture.

They froze when there was a knock on the door. And then Jake felt as though he’d been doused in cold water when he heard Rooster call out, “Bug?” He pulled away and stared at her, taking in her kiss-swollen lips and the red marks he’d left on her throat. “Bug?” 

“J-just a minute,” she called back. The glint in her eye dimmed slightly as he stepped away, dropping his hands from her body. Jake ran a hand down his face before licking his lips, savoring the taste of her mouth, tongue, and lip balm before he cleared his throat while continuing to back away.

“I’m… I’m glad you’re okay.” 

“You don’t have to - ”

Jake didn’t wait for her to finish her sentence, turning on his heel to open the door. Rooster took a step back, surprise written across his face, as he pushed past him and hurried toward his truck.

He’d fucked up, and he knew it. 

Jake hated himself, but he wasn’t sure what for - kissing Bug or leaving her. Probably a bit of both. 

But he definitely hated himself for going out of his way to avoid her. For seeing the hurt in her eyes, knowing that he caused it, and doing nothing to make it better. Actively making it worse when she sought him out - avoiding her at lunch and flirting with a woman the night Bug surprised everyone by showing up at the Hard Deck. He knew it was a dick move to walk the woman to her car, leaving her disappointed when he said goodnight without so much as a peck on the cheek. Jake knew what it looked like when he climbed into his truck and drove away rather than going back inside. He spent the rest of the night alone in bed, trying to forget the taste of Bug’s skin, only to paste on a fake smile and whistle as he strode into work the following morning. Bug hadn’t looked at him all day, but he’d definitely caught angry glances from the others.  

It had taken everything in him not to stand on the tarmac the first time she climbed back into a jet and watch the entire flight. Instead, he forced himself to play foosball with Coyote and pretended not to listen closely to her on the radio.  

If there was a benefit to Jake denying himself her company, it was that Bug was getting closer to the rest of the squad. She was eating lunch with them when he dodged her, eating outside or in his truck. She was joining them at the gym instead of sneaking away. The first day he saw her in running shorts instead of pants, Jake wanted to go to his knees in front of her and kiss every scar on her legs to let her know how gorgeous she was. 

And she’d agreed to take the last open seat at their table for the Navy Ball. 

Jake wasn’t sure if he would go until a few hours before it started when Phoenix texted that she’d castrate him if he skipped. So he ironed his dress blues and shaved, promising to leave right after the ceremony and dinner. He didn’t even get his truck washed before heading to the hotel, tossing his keys to the valet, and going straight for the cash bar. 

Phoenix and Kerri were getting pictures taken, and Jake spotted Payback and Maria chatting with Mav and Penny. Fanboy and Bob were mingling, and he didn’t want to sit at the table by himself, so he decided to circulate as well. He’d never enjoyed these nights but knew it was important to get his face out there and show that he was a good sport, especially since he’d be pinning on his gold oak leaves in a few months when he was promoted to Lieutenant Commander. 

One more step toward his goal of being an admiral. 

When he was almost finished with his whiskey neat, Jake made his way back to the bar for another but decided to wait until dinner. But as he walked away, he heard someone call him, turning to see Yale motioning him over. “What?

“Just thought I’d rub it in your face that you lost our bet,” the other man smirked, pointing behind him. Jake glanced over his shoulder, watching as Rooster led a woman to their table and pulled out her chair before collapsing into the one beside her. His arm went around her shoulders, and he tugged her in to kiss her temple. “Looks like you didn’t get Rooster to pick Bug after all.” 

“Our bet was over months ago, asshole,” Jake spat. 

“You sure about that?” 

“It was stupid to do in the first place.”

“What, you betting that you could get Rooster to be attracted to Bug?” He frowned as Yale looked over Jake’s shoulder and winked. 

“You what?” 

He closed his eyes, wishing that it wasn’t her. But when he turned, Bug stood there, shock and hurt written across her features. She looked gorgeous in a tight, floor-length navy blue dress with some type of short, glittery sleeves. He could just see the scar on her arm peeking out, and he ached to press his lips to the curve of her neck. “Bug - ”

“A bet?” 

“Yup,” Yale said, clapping a hand to Jake’s shoulder that he quickly shook off, fists clenching. He couldn’t punch him here, not in front of all the officers, but he wanted to. “All a bet.”

“It wasn’t,” Jake said, reaching for Bug. She stepped back, her red lips pressed into a thin line. “It started out that way but - ”

“Just - ” she cut him off, lifting a hand to stop him. “Just stop, please. Don’t ruin tonight for me. At least, not more than you already have.” 

“Bug - ” But she was gone, pushing through the crowd and exiting into the hotel's main lobby. Turning, he faced Yale, who smirked into his highball glass. “You’re a fuckin’ asshole, you know that?” The other man shrugged. 

“You ever think I’m doin’ you a favor? That Ladybuy might not be a good luck charm but a curse? Look at the other pilots she’s been involved with - I mean, fuck. Omaha’s never G-LOC’d before, and a couple of months with her as his WSO and suddenly he’s almost crashing?” 

Aware of the eyes on him, Jake forced himself not to lift his clenched fist as he stepped closer to Yale. “You shut your fuckin’ mouth before I shut it for you.”

“Gentlemen,” Cyclone said, appearing beside them. “You’re blocking the bar.” Jake lifted his chin and stepped back, feeling the air boss’s eyes on him. 

“Sorry ‘bout that, sir,” he forced himself to say. “I’ll get out of your way.” His eyes darted across the room and saw Rooster standing up from the table. Angry, he followed the pilot, intercepting him on his way to the men’s room. “Hey!”

Rooster startled at Jake’s bark and raised an eyebrow. “Hey?”

“Why didn’t you come with Bug tonight?” 

“Bug? Why would I come with her?” 

“Because she likes you, you jackass!” 

“Me? Bug doesn’t like me, jackass. At least, not like that.” 

“Yes, she does. She’s had a crush on you since she got here.” 

“Aren’t you two dating?” The question brought Jake up short. “Everyone’s kind of thought the two of you were together.” 

“No… no, we’re not. She’s not - she likes you. We’re just friends.” 

“Wow,” the other man said, crossing his arms and smirking. “I didn’t realize what a fucking idiot you were. Bug and I are just friends - you two aren’t friends. Or, at least, not just friends.” 

“But…”

“Wow. Phoenix is gonna love this,” Rooster laughed, clapping the other man on the shoulder. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta piss and then get back to my date. Maybe you should go find yours.” 

Jake stood there for a long moment, playing the last few months over in his head. It had been a while since he’d seen Bug blush whenever Rooster looked at her. And, if he thought about it, she’d always looked confused when he mentioned Rooster being somewhere as an incentive for her to go out.

And she’d kissed him back. 

Maybe…maybe what he’d taken for an adrenaline crash on her part had actually been… 

“Fuck,” he groaned, realizing that maybe Bug did actually like him. Maybe he wasn’t the only one who’d caught feelings over the last few months. And she thought he’d only talked to her because of a bet. 

She ignored his phone calls, and he couldn’t find her anywhere in the hotel. He was about to get his car back from the valet and drive to her apartment when he saw her walking back into the ballroom and had to force himself not to run after her. Bug settled at their table, taking a spot between Kerri and Maria. Both women looked at him as he stood behind Bug’s chair and leaned down to whisper in her ear, “Can I talk to you?”

“No.”

“Please?” When she turned away from him and started talking to Maria, he bit back a groan. He sighed her name and watched as a blush rose on her cheeks. 

“Maybe you should sit down, Hangman,” Phoenix said, smirking as she nodded to the seat directly across from Bug. Their squad had thrown in together to get two tables, and he was relieved to see that Yale was sitting at the other one. “Speech is about to start.” He sighed, rubbing a knuckle along Bug’s shoulder and watching the goosebumps rise. She ignored him, and he retreated to sit between Bob and Rooster’s date. Bug continued to ignore him as he stared at the pretty blush that stretched from her cheeks to her chest. He was paying so little attention that Bob had to elbow him when the color guard entered, and he saluted, not watching the guard but instead watching Bug as she stood at attention with her back to him. 

If asked, he couldn’t tell you a damn thing about what the keynote speaker said over their 45-minute speech other than hazarding a guess that it had something to do with the Navy and Marines celebrating their birthdays together. Instead, he watched Bug turn in her seat, occasionally facing him as she sipped her water. During the short break, he stood and tried to catch her before dinner was served, but she looped arms with Maria and retreated to the ladies' room.

“Didn’t think tonight would have a show with it,” Payback chuckled, sipping his beer and setting a glass of wine by his wife’s plate. 

“This is perfect,” Phoenix agreed, tapping her rum and coke against Fanboy’s. 

“Shut up,” Jake grumbled. When Maria and Bug came back, Maria tucked herself under her husband’s arm while Bug checked her phone. He caught the way her brows furrowed, and her shoulders slumped, finger hesitating over the screen before tapping it and returning it to her clutch. When her eyes lifted, they met Jake’s before flitting away to focus on the floral centerpiece. 

The same thing happened as they ate dinner. Jake had never realized how hot it could be to watch someone eat… that lipstick smudge on her water glass. When they cleared away dinner and cut the birthday cake, he grabbed them both a piece and fantasized about smearing the icing on her collarbone and licking it off. 

The DJ kicked off the music, and as soon as Bug put down her fork, he pushed to his feet and circled the table. “Dance with me?” he asked, extending his hand over her shoulder. She ignored him, as expected. Her skin was warm under his palm as he rested his hand on her shoulder and leaned to whisper in her ear. “One dance, and I’ll leave you alone. Promise.” Bug sighed, and Jake grinned when she grabbed her napkin from her lap and threw it onto the table. He pulled her chair back, chuckling when she ignored his offered hand. 

“One dance,” she said, holding up a finger before walking to the dance floor. She waited expectantly for him at the side, and he took her hand, leading her to the middle of the floor where they could hide in the crowd from their friend’s prying eyes. But even as she stepped into his arms, one hand resting on his shoulder and the other in his, she didn’t look at him. 

“Bug, I’m sorry.” When she didn’t say anything, he forged ahead. “The bet was stupid, and I made it before I really knew you.”

“When?” 

“What?”

“When did you make the bet?” 

“The Fourth of July.” He watched her lips press into a thin line as they swayed to an old song, her eyes fixed on his metals rather than meeting his eyes. Jake sighed, “We were drunk, and it was stupid, and I don’t even know why I did it. And it was before I knew that you and Yale even knew each other before this. But, what I’m tryin’ to say is that I’m sorry that I made the stupid bet, but I’m also not.”

Bug pulled them to a stop, anger flashing in her eyes as she finally looked at him. “You’re not sorry?”

“No,” he smiled, applying gentle pressure to her lower back and pulling her closer. She resisted. “You promised me one dance, Bug, and it’s not over.” Reluctantly, she stepped closer and resumed their awkward dance. “I’m not sorry, at least not entirely, because I probably wouldn’t have tried so hard to talk to you if I hadn’t been tryin’ to set you up with Rooster. You’re not the easiest person to get to know.” 

“Are you blaming me?” 

“No, just stating a fact. You avoided talking to any of us about anything other than work. If it wasn’t for the bet, I wouldn’t have gotten to know you - I’d only know Ladybug.” 

“I am Ladybug.” 

Jake smiled while saying her name, his hand lifting from her waist to trace the scar on her arm. “You’re more than Ladybug. Ladybug doesn’t read sexy books over lunch or think that apples, cheese, and crackers are a meal. She doesn’t play softball or answer her friend’s call even knowin’ he’s probably gonna hurt her. That’s all you, honey. Ladybug’s great, but I think I’m fallin’ in love with you.” 

Bug stopped for a second time, her red lips falling open as she looked at him. “What?” 

“I said, I think I’m fallin’ in love with you.” 

“Even though you were trying to set me up with your friend?” she asked after a moment. 

“If you think about it, I wasn’t really trying too hard.”

“You’ve been ignoring me for weeks.”

“‘Cause I didn’t want to see you with him, but I want you to be happy. And if you’d be happier with Rooster, then I guess I can figure out some way to break up him and - ”

“Are you serious right now?” her voice was getting louder, and they were starting to draw attention. Noticing this, Bug squared her shoulders and stepped out of his arms, storming off of the floor. Jake hurried behind her, heart in his throat as they exited the ballroom and entered the hotel lobby.

“Bug, please - ” Spinning on her heel, she marched back toward him and poked his chest. 

“You… you jackass!” 

“I’m hearing that a lot tonight.”

“You’re an idiot!”

“Heard that, too.” 

“You don’t tell someone that you ‘think you’re falling in love with them’” - she made air quotes while throwing his words back at him - “and then try to set them up with your friend.” 

“How am I supposed to know? This is the first time I’m doing this.” 

“This is - ” Bug paused, ruby lips falling open as she let out a little gasp. Crossing her arms, she cocked a hip and pinned him with a glare. “This is the first time I think I’m falling in love with someone, too, and even I know that, you idiot. It’s pretty common sense.” 

Jake’s grin was blinding, and he hesitantly reached out to wrap a hand around her waist, stepping into her space. Bug tilted her chin to meet his eyes, her lip twitching as she fought a smile. “You think you’re fallin’ in love with me, Bug?” 

“Maybe.”

“Well… maybe I don’t think I’m falling in love with you. Maybe I know I’m in love with you. I think,” he leaned down, his breath ghosting over her face as he stared at her lips. “I think maybe I knew when you nearly burned in.” 

“Maybe I knew it then, too.” 

Jake’s nose brushed hers before he kissed her. This time, it was soft. Teasing. Testing the waters. They pulled away to stare at one another for a heartbeat before Bug threw her arms around his neck and pulled him down to lick into his mouth. Jake smiled, his arms going around her waist and pulling her close, his fingers curling around the nape of her neck. And then, just like before, they were interrupted. But this time, it was by a catcall. 

“Finally!” Rooster laughed. 

“Get a room, you two!” Phoenix ordered before kissing her girlfriend’s cheek. 

Bug and Jake looked at one another, and she reached up to wipe the red lipstick from his mouth. Her cheeks were flushed, and she couldn’t quite meet his eyes when she said, “I do have one… a room. Here. If you wanted to.”

“Fuck, honey,” he groaned. “Let’s go.” Her blush deepened as she pushed onto her toes to whisper in his ear.

“So… you should know that I’ve only slept with one person. And only once. Just in case it’s not…so you don’t get your expectations too high.” 

Jake stared down at her, forcing his jaw not to drop. “Bug, please tell me he at least made you cum.” Rather than answer, she pressed her lips together tightly, and he groaned again. 

“I have so much to teach you, honey. Starting tonight. Let’s go.”

“My key’s in my clutch. At the table.” 

“Right.” He nodded, bending to kiss her again. 

“It might, um…have been a while. But I’ve read a lot,” Bug said, as though trying to assure them both. And Jake couldn’t help but smile at that.

“I know. I’ve read some of your sexy books. Want me to reenact them for you?” Bug’s breath caught, and he chuckled, pecking her lips. “Be a good girl, and wait here for me, honey.”

There was some good-natured teasing when Jake hurried to their table and snatched Bug’s clutch. He ignored it all, wanting to get back to her quickly.

But he did detour to the cake table, picking a slice with extra frosting. 

----------------------------------------------

Author's Note: This one really got away with me, and I was shocked that I managed to write it in about 2 days. A huge thanks goes to May for beta'ing this for me and making sure that Jake still felt like Bug was interested in Rooster throughout.

I love the idea of Jake reading romance novels because his girlfriend likes them. Three that were mentioned here (in order) are: Wicked Beauty by Katee Roberts, The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang, and The Bromance Bookclub by Lyssa Kay Adams. You know that he would absolutely lovingly tease his partner about reading them, and then be blown away by just how much one can learn from reading smutty literature. There are definitely some book shopping trips he'll be treating Bug to in the future.

Ladybugs have historically been seen as a sign of good luck. I liked the idea of Reader having that as a callsign, as she wouldn't have anything to do with piloting the plane, but could serve as good luck for her pilot. Even in scrapes, she's there to help them out. For Risk, on his first carrier landing, she was able to keep him calm, and later in the accident, she was able to keep him stable until help arrived. For Omaha, she was able to snap him out of G-LOC by screaming his name. And for Jake? Well, ladybugs can also mean luck in love and expanding family.

A bit about the trauma in the story. Bug would meet the diagnostic criteria for post-trumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and probably should have been grounded for a little while. But disassociation from the traumatic event can help someone compartmentalize their trauma and get back to work (can attest to this from personal experience) - she was medically cleared by the flight surgeon and was back on duty. As of this posting, the Air Force is the only branch with a policy that allows aviators to get 60 days of mental health treatment without needing a return to duty waiver/clearance. Bug would have benefited from treatment, which might have further delayed her PCS and made Yale not hate her. She's not "cured" of PTSD by falling in love, but hopefully there's some therapy in her future to help her process the traumatic events. As for the G-LOC, there is no way for a WSO to take control of the aircraft, and the F-18s haven't been retrofitted with the technology to have autopilot reengage when the pilot loses control.

Risk would undergo the medical discharge process - "med board" - to be separated from the military with an honorable discharge following the accident, as he would be unable to preform the duties of his Military Occupational Specialty (MOS). I don’t imagine him as a bad guy, trying to hurt Bug, but traumatic brain injuries (TBIs) can cause emotional dysregulation and aggression that can be hard to deal with.

If you're interested, this is the dress that I imagined Bug wearing to the Navy ball (not representative of how I think she looks).

Thank you so much for reading this. If you would like to be added to my tag list, please fill out my tag list form (hyperlinked).

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#hangman seresin x reader #jake seresin x reader #top gun fic #top gun maverick #jake seresin #Hangman top gun #soft!Jake Seresin #hangman smut #hangman fic #jake hangman seresin #jake seresin fanfiction #hangman imagine #She's All That fic #sorchasromcombirthdaycelly

[heartsforvin]

VINNIE WITH A TITTY FIXATION

authors note: for the anon who had brought this up awhile ago, here you go (:



vinnie is a boob man through and through. he loves your ass, but loves your tits more.

loves the way they feel in his hands, loves the way they make a great pillow, and loves watching his dick slide in between them when you let him titty fuck you.

what he loves most, though, is when he gets the chance to suck them. maybe he’s had a rough day and just needs to wind down, so he’ll ask ever so nicely, puppy eyes included, until you let him.

you’ll watch as he squeezes them in his hands just enough to relive his stress but not enough to the point where you get needy for him. you know in that moment it’s about him and not you.

you’ll push his curls back out of his face as you watch him take your tit into his mouth as he massages the other one with his hand.

“there ya’ go, baby. this is what you needed, hm?” you’ll hum as he does the same, big brown eyes staring up at you.

when the two of you lay in bed at night watching a movie as you’re snuggled up, he’ll move his hand up under your shirt and cup your breast, just because he felt like it.

some days though, he’s not at all gentle with you. when the two of you are in the moment, and you really pissed him off that day, he’ll smack your tits a few times.

“don’t enjoy this,” he’ll grumble at you, another smack added. “this isn’t for your enjoyment, maybe i should just stop all together.”

usually though, his attention to your chest is all affection. he’ll kiss them, hold them, massage them, anything he can do to make your tits feel loved just like he does with the rest of your body.

on days when you let him titty fuck you, he knows it’s a good day. that was definitely one of his favorite things to do when you guys got intimate like that.

it wasn’t a usual thing, it wasn’t your most favorite thing to do since you yourself didn’t get most pleasure out of it. you let vinnie do it though, since you did love to see the look on his face, the smug smile he’d plaster on it as he covered your chest in his cum.

#vhackerr #vincent hacker #vinniehacker #vvhacker #vinnie hacker smut #vinniehackerfanfic #vinnie hacker blurb #vinnie hacker fluff #vinnie hacker imagines #vinnie hacker #vinnie x reader #vinnie x y/n #vinnie hacker headcanon

[thedaythatwas]

not a hot take, but I'll say it again: there is literally no way that akechi liking philosophy was part of the detective prince front. this is a man who genuinely enjoys thinking through ethical dilemmas. like, he confirms it in royal, when you're at the jazz club together third semester:

(and yes, in third semester akechi-speak, this is him saying he enjoys it!)

I'm going to ramble on, so I'll insert a page break here real quick.

even if it wasn’t confirmed for us in canon, liking philosophy just fits with akechi's characterization. akechi's referenced hobbies are all activities he can do alone: darts, billiards, bouldering, cycling. sure, everything I listed is much more fun with a partner– enter akiren– but that's literally the narrative role akiren plays in akechi's story! akiren drives home for akechi that more can be accomplished when you learn to rely on others. this applies to talking philosophy. especially so, actually.

I think enjoying it serves a dual purpose for akechi.

one: being able to throw out philosophers' names is undeniably something you can use as social clout, and I know that akechi is well aware of that. he likes being pretentious. yes, it's to uphold the prince image for the sake of his revenge plot, but he also does it for himself, because of his past experiences as a so-called undesirable child. image, including appearing to be well-educated, is important to him for a number of reasons.

two: thinking is something that can fill his time spent alone. as someone who's been so profoundly wronged by the system– and gone on to do objectively harmful things within it himself– he's got plenty of life experience to fuel his pondering. you can bet it's all pretty angry and jaded. nobody said thinking about ethics makes you feel good.

and sure, you can weigh the merits of utilitarianism alone. you can think all you want about what "justice" and "free will" are by yourself. but it's much more fun to talk about with someone else, if that's what you're into (and akechi is).

I don't think it's a stretch to say that akiren's willingness to talk philosophy with akechi is one of the reasons he finds himself sucked into the revenge-scheme-threatening shitshow that is their rivalry. it's easy to say that their "discussions" are a front akechi uses to get closer to akiren, and really, they probably started out that way. but akechi soon finds that akiren really is an enigma– his constant praise of akiren isn't empty. akiren is self-assured, he pushes akechi, and akechi finds himself pulled into their banter like a moth to flame. if akiren couldn't pique akechi's interest, I think akechi could have maintained much more emotional distance from his would-be target.

all this to say, akechi genuinely being a pretentious nerd makes his relationship with akiren make ten times more sense. if akiren couldn't keep up with him, I think their story (or at least, how akechi experienced it emotionally) would have gone much differently.

#persona 5 #shuake #goro akechi #akiren #p5r #p5r spoilers #this may or may not be because I'm writing a ridiculously self-indulgent oneshot where these two nerds smoke and debate utilitarianism #but anyway I'm totally right

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

A New Life 4

Warnings: non/dubcon and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

Characters: silverfox!Steve Kemp

Summary: You have an unexpected encounter in the park.

Part of the Silverfox AU

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

That man, a monster in your mind, Steve, lifts you out of the tub. He leans you against him once more and pats you dry with a fluffy towel. You shiver as his roughened fingertips brush your skin. Your head hangs, still too heavy for your neck, and the rest of you shakes as you fight to keep from collapsing.

He hums and wraps you in the towel and his arms. He lifts you with a grunt and carries you back to the bedroom. He lays you down and you groan, dizzy as you sink into the cushy mattress. He sits on the edge, resting his hand on your stomach.

“Still got it,” he smiles and flexes his other arm. “Think I might have given you a generous dose. Sorry about that.”

You blink. Sorry? Not about drugging you and taking you, no, just that it wasn’t perfect. You turn your face away and shudder. You still can’t process any of it. It’s a horror movie come to life.

“You know, I realised something after all these years. You can’t wait for things to happen,” his hand trails over to your arm and he takes your hand, “sometimes you just gotta take what you want.”

“Please,” you murmur, letting your head fall straight, “let me go--”

“Baby, please, you gotta understand. This is good for you. You don’t have as much time as you think,” he traces each of your fingers, admiring them. You try to pull away and he twines his fingers through yours, locking you in his grasp.

“I don’t know you--”

“We got lots of time to get to know each other,” he says, “lots.”

“This-- you can’t-- why?”

“Why not?” He shrugs and smirks down at you. “Sweetheart, we both need someone. I need a companion. Someone kind and warm and you need someone to take care of you.”

He squeezes your hand and you frown. You wriggle free and look away. He sighs and gently taps your thigh. He stands and you hear the clink of the chain. Before you can react, he has the leather cuff around your ankle. His fingers work swiftly to secure it.

“You don’t have to do that,” you utter and push yourself up shakily. You catch the towel, keeping your nudity hidden. 

“Oh, sweetheart, you don’t know what I need. You don't even know what you need,” he tuts and drags his fingertips up your calf, “I’m not gonna hurt you. Well...” he pauses and looks at the ceiling, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Your brows curve and your lips part. What does he mean?

“I know, it’s hard early on. Getting to know each other. Can be a bit awkward but I can take the lead. So, let me show you what I can give you.” He winks and rescinds his touch, his hands going to his hips. “You gotta eat something. You’re gonna feel real cruddy if you don’t soon.”

You stare at him. What? You don’t care about food. You want out of here.

“So, we could start slow; a protein shake, make sure your tummy isn’t too bad,” he bends slightly over you as he puts on a patronizing tone, “how about that, baby?”

“Please...” you whimper.

He sighs and his lashes flutter in agitation, “we’ve moved on. Alright, this is the part where you try. Where you show me that you’re worth it.”

“Worth... what?” You breathe.

“All that effort,” he stands straight and throws up his hands, “all this.” He claps his jeans as he looks around, “all for you.” He shakes his head as he faces you again, “you’re not seeing it clearly. Now right now, I’ll chalk that up to the sedation. You’re foggy, not thinking straight, and maybe you're in a bit of shock.” He shrugs and smiles, “but you get something in ya, let your stomach settle and I’m sure you’ll see everything for what it is.”

You snap your mouth shut and your eyes sting. You watch him nervously. There’s a gleam in his eyes that undermines the curve of his lips.

“So, you like chocolate or vanilla?” He asks. You blink. “For the protein shake.”

You push your shoulders up, “vanilla, I guess.”

“Mm, vanilla,” he licks his lips, “delicious.”

He spins swiftly on his heel and marches away. You stare after him as he leaves the door open. Because he can. Because of that thing around your ankle. You shift and bend your leg, feeling the cuff. You pick at the metal part but there’s no catch. How in the hell?

You move back against the pillows with a groan, your muscles searing with the effort. You lean back and hug yourself, fixing the towel to cover yourself as best you can. You sit in the silence as your veins course and your pulse thrums.

You flinch as you hear him coming. He enters, whistling, as he carries a tall glass. He grins as he nears you and holds it out. You can’t move. You just eye the drink.

“I get it, you don’t wanna spill,” he says as he sits again on the edge of the mattress, “I added some whipped cream on top as a little treat.”

You look at the milkshake then back at him.

“You’re welcome,” he says curtly.

You cough and suck in air, “thanks.”

“Like I said, I'll take care of you, just like you need,” he raises the glass and angles the straw towards you, “have a taste. Let me know how you like it.”

You hide beneath your lashes and put your lips around the straw and suck. It’s sweet but not overly. You can taste the earthiness of the protein base. You gulp and pull away.

“Ah, sweetheart,” he reaches for you and you wince. He dabs your lips with his knuckle, “don’t wanna make a mess,” his eyes flick up and down as you glance up, “not yet.”

#steve kemp #dark steve kemp #dark!steve kemp #steve kemp x reader #fresh #au #silverfox au #a new life #series #drabble

[ohforficsake]

The Margay: Chapter 10

Read the Last Page

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Summary: Santiago recruits Frankie to contract for a covert agency that pairs them with danger in more ways than one. A series of one-shot snippets taking place during and around missions.

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Sniper!OFC Audrey 'Moose' Goddard

Word Count: ~4.4K

WARNINGS: Triggers for themes of self harm/ suicidal ideation / fearing that someone will self-harm / Mentions of physical spousal abuse and escaping an abusive marriage. Please read with care.

Rating: Explicit 18+ / language / mentions of past drug use / Minors DNI

A/N: Frankie tries to put himself back together. Frankie tries to figure out why the fuck he's like this. Audrey realizes there is something she's afraid of.

Dividers by @cafekitsune

As always, this is un-beta'd, please do shoot me a message with any typos. Feel free to pop into my inbox if you'd like to chat. We've only got one chapter after this for these two. I hope I do them justice. Here goes nothing.

Francisco spends the next two weeks in hiding.

As much as Benny’s place can be considered hiding. 

Santiago is too close to the thing and Will would have tried to pull it apart, deliberately. Methodically. So he could come up with a way to make it right.

Frankie doesn’t want solutions right now, he just wants to feel like shit.

And Benny knows Catfish fucked up somehow, because the last time Frankie was here was when he got hit with the coke charge that suspended his license. 

He supposes Fish hiding at his place is better than Fish running through an eightball. 

But Frankie’s first night here is the worst night Benny’s had since then.

The night after Tom died included. 

It wasn’t all on him then. 

He couldn’t hear Frankie’s stuttering sobs in the next room then.

His stomach didn’t churn with the wails that Frankie tries to stifle with pillows when the walls of his heart can’t hold them in any longer then. 

But Benny soon learns that Frankie going silent is far worse. 

And so he hauls himself from bed, grabbing his phone off the nightstand, and quietly makes his way across the hall to the guest bedroom, rapping two knuckles against the guest bedroom door.

“Fish?”

Still, silence. 

“Listen, you ain’t gotta tell me what’s up. Not if you don’t want to. I just. I just gotta know that you’re okay, buddy."

“I don’t have fucking coke if that’s what you’re asking.” Frankie’s voice is hoarse. Muffled where he’s face-down in a wet patch on the pillow.

And Benny already knows because Benny checked his bags while Catfish was in the shower and nabbed Frankie’s keys and pocket knife to tuck into his own bedside table. 

But still.

“I just need to know—” Benny starts. Thinks better of it. Decides he couldn’t live with any more regret. Continues softly. 

“—that you’re not going to hurt yourself, Fish.”

“It’s fuckin’ fine, Benny,” Fish’s voice is only muffled by the door now. 

Benny stares at the ceiling. 

“Okay,” he rolls off his tongue. “Can you do something for me though?” He bends to sit on the floor with his back against the doorframe. 

“The fuck is it Ben?”

“Can we just—do a few breaths?”

And Fish doesn’t say “no” because Fish doesn’t say anything.

“I’m gonna put my hands on my stomach,” Benny reframes, “and breathe in through my nose. All the way in until I move my hands.” There’s a pause as he does. “And I’m gonna let it out and do it again.”

He repeats this cycle. A bit less instruction each time, but following through himself. Palms rising and falling over the worn jersey of his t-shirt. 

He repeats the cycle. 

Of forcing Frankie to breathe. 

Of ticking his nervous system cool.

Until he hears a mumbled, “thanks, Benny,” from the other side of the door. 

“Listen man,” Benny starts softly.

“I love you, okay?”

“Love you too, man.”

And he feels a bit better. 

But Ben Miller still doesn’t sleep that first night.

Fish hangs around the house like a phantom for the next three days. Benny hears the creak of floorboards in the guest room. The latching of the bathroom door. The tv click through channels. 

Hears Netflix pause when it asks if Frankie’s still watching. 

He is. 

Baking shows from the sound of it. 

Benny tries the whole first day to offer him coffee and breakfast. Lunch and Pepsi, because maybe Coke would have been insensitive. Dinner and a beer. 

“‘M not hungry.”

“Frankie, you gotta at least drink some water.”

“Got some from the sink.”

So Benny takes to leaving snacks in the guest bathroom.

He breathes a little easier when some of them start to disappear. 

And he occasionally hears Frankie sniffling. And then hears deliberate breaths. 

He’s grateful to have given Frankie that at least. 

The poltergeist’s activity spreads on day five when Benny hears footsteps on the stairs.

And he has to fight a wince when finally the man appears. 

Frankie looks like a husk. 

Puffy eyes, hair matted down to his head. Overgrown, scraggly beard that's greying on sallow cheeks. 

And Benny just pulls two beers from the fridge, cracks them open on a magnet, and klinks the base of his against Frankie’s.

“Wanna watch the game?” 

“Sure,” Frankie mumbles.

And Benny breathes a little easier.

He clocks Frankie on the knee with his knuckles after about half an hour of silence, “hey, you eat today, man?”

“Don’t remember.”

“Go take a shower. Gonna order pizza. Sausage is good, right?”

“Not hungry.”

“I’ll get goat cheese on it.”

And Frankie sits for a beat.

“Fine.” 

He has a bit more color in his cheeks when he returns to the kitchen.

“Hey, you ever try meditation?” Benny asks after a bit through a mouthful of pizza. 

“No, I’ve never fucking tried meditation, Benny.”

“I can show you, if you want.”

“Not right now.”

“No,” Benny huffs through a bite of crust, “not right now. I’m gonna get you a journal too.”

And Frankie starts to protest, but he knows Benny is trying to offer him the tools that he himself uses to get him through.

There’s a Moleskin and a pen in the bathroom when Frankie ventures out in the morning. 

And like summer sun after the spring equinox, Frankie emerges from his cave earlier and earlier each day.

“You wanna talk about it?” Benny asks one night from where he’s slumped down on the couch, beer in hand, basketball game on tv. 

“Nah.” Fish answers from the other end of the couch, taking a swig from his own bottle.

“‘S about Moose?”

“Yeah,” Frankie works a fingernail between paper and glass, the tack of adhesive catching on his fingerprints.

“She get hurt out there?”

“No,” Frankie answers.

After a minute.

“I hurt her.”

“You cheat on her?”

“Wha–no. No. It’s not like that. I didn’t cheat on her.”

“Good, you’d…” And Benny chokes off his first reaction.

“’S fine, you can say it.”

“Nah.”

“I’d be a fuckin’ idiot. I already am. I’m aware,” Frankie scrubs a hand down his face. “I just. I said things I ain’t proud of.”

“So go fix it.”

And Frankie lets out an astonished huff at how simple the world is to Benny sometimes.

“You in a headspace for me to tell you somethin’?”

“Say what you gotta say, Benny.”

“Listen, Fish. You gotta just face it. And don’t just say 'I’m sorry' because girls hate that shit. Say what you’re sorry for and why you were a fuckin’ idiot for sayin’ it and that it’ll never happen again. And then don’t fuckin’ do it again. Not if you wanna keep her. Because that girl? She ain’t gonna put up with your shit.”

“She left.”

“She left because you probably pushed her away, Catfish.” Benny shifts on the couch to place his beer bottle on the coffee table, elbows resting on his knees before he finally looks over at Frankie.

“Look, I dunno what you said, but she’s got thick fuckin’ skin. Moose will take a lot of shit right on the chin and fling it back at you. So whatever it was, you gotta figure out why you said it. You gotta do that work on yourself, man. And don’t yank her chain, either. She ain’t gonna give you third and fourth chances.”

“You read that shit in a book somewhere, or you just got a lot of experience apologizing, Benny?”

“I do.”

Frankie scoffs.

And he wants to jump right up off of this couch, march up the stairs and slam the bedroom door behind him. But he knows what that would do to Benny. 

So he waits until the game is over.

Excuses himself with a “goodnight” and a “thanks for the beer.” 

He finally cracks open the journal Benny bought, and on the first page he scrawls:

Why the fuck am I like this?

The hardest part, Frankie thinks, is that his neural pathways are still wired to her presence. 

Any second she’ll step through the doorway.

Wild black curls and a soft smile. 

A matter of moments before she’ll press her soft weight to his back and her lips to that spot just behind his ear with a soft hum.

Lithe warm body to cover his own.

A pretty little thing to be used when the need strikes and then…

His own words ring in his ears. Crumble the fantasy into powder.

The dreams don’t help either.

The ones of that night in her apartment. 

The way things could have gone.

Her hands braced against the wide expanse of his chest as she chases the high that will make her forget.

Both of them move to fit around his neck.

And she comes with his full name on her lips.

And he follows her with sparks bursting in the black at the edges of his vision.

Little death has green eyes.

Little death that slips through his fingers each time he palms his cock in search of relief.

Frankie finds the strength to face Santiago once he’s back at his own place.

Strength or loneliness.

He’s not actually sure on that one. 

But he swipes a hand down his face after he shifts his truck into park in the driveway. He rubs it around to the back of his neck, fingers working at a knot there.

He's here.

Might as well.

Dinner passes without incident. Santi's fresh off the plane from Guatemala. And the hesitancy with which he discloses it tips Frankie off.

"How is she?"

Santiago angles hard dark eyes in his direction. And he wants to tell Frankie that she's distracted. That her gaze is constantly weighted with something that all of this dredged up. She's functional now but she's running on luck. Audrey can't afford to run on luck.

She's not well. But that's not Santiago's to confess.

“Frankie. What happened?” Comes out instead.

“I flipped.”

That’s all he needs to say for Pope to know how bad it is.

“What did you say, Francisco?”

“I…I was jealous seeing her there," he rubs at his lips with a finger. "With that man. And then I couldn't stop myself from thinking about everyone else. I said crude things.”

“We say crude things to each other all the time, that wasn’t it. What did you say, Frankie.”

“I talked about other men using her,” he swallows hard. “I…I called her a pretty little plaything to be used when the need strikes and then…”

“Discarded?” Santiago finishes, eyebrows in his hairline. 

“I didn’t," Frankie looks down at his lap. "Didn’t say that. Didn’t get that far.”

Santi runs his palm down his face and across his chin and springs from his seat. “Oh. Well then. What were you going to say? What did you intend to say when the first half of that sentence left your fuckin’ mouth. Huh? What was it, Francisco?”

“I wasn’t myself, Pope…I…”

“And you put your hands on her. Again you put your hands on her, Francisco.” And some dark part of Frankie’s brain thinks that where Pope took his side the first time, now he takes hers.

He should be taking hers.

“I saw the bruises.”

“I’m sorry…”

“Don’t fuckin’ apologize to me, apologize to HER.”

Gestured broadly in the direction of Washington DC.

“I did. I did that night,” his voice is a low rasp, “but I…I was a mess.”

“What did you tell her? I’m sorry with big fuckin’ tears in your eyes?”

“Yeah.” And the big fuckin’ tears are back. 

“You told her she was disposable, Francisco. I don’t care if the word didn’t come out of your mouth. That’s what you said. A body. Because you were thinking with what, your dick? You told her she’s unwanted. Unloved, Francisco.” 

And something in the way he says it makes Frankie think that he knows more than he lets on.

“The crocodile tears? That shit’s not enough. How many times has she grounded you? Pulled you out of one of your fuckin’ moods without asking what put you there in the first place? How many smiles has she put on your face, huh? She brought the fuckin’ light back into your eyes, hermano. I see it when you’re with her. How many times has she made you fucking feel something again, Francisco?”

“She fuckin’ sees you. Every. Fucking. Part. Of you," Santiago stabs two fingers of one hand into the palm of the other with every word.

“And you know what?” He points at Frankie now.

“She loves you anyway.”

“She doesn’t love me.”

“You know she sent your daughter a birthday present from you because she knew that you were gonna forget? Yeah. Your daughter’s birthday was a week ago, Francisco.”

Santiago’s kitchen is spinning.

"I should go," Frankie starts, wincing at the way his chair scrapes across linoleum when he stands.

“But you told her she’s a thing that you wouldn’t keep.” And he definitely didn’t tell Pope that.

“I think we both know that’s a lie, Francisco. But only one of us is willing to admit it.”

“And you know what? You shouldn’t. You don’t fuckin’ deserve her.”

“And it’s your own fuckin’ fault. I can’t help you out of that one.”

But Santiago knows how hard he just bit.

And the part of him that loves Frankie.

This wrecked shell of a man.

The part of him that doesn’t want to get a call in the morning about an overdose tonight.

Now tries to lick wounds.

He wraps Frankie in a hug.

And Frankie hugs him back with closed fists, heaving sobs into Santiago’s shoulder.

“I love you, man,” Santiago murmurs. “I don’t wanna see you throw away one of the best things that’s ever happened to you. The best thing since your little girl.”

“I don’t know what to do. Without her.”

And Santiago’s viscera twist with the pain in Frankie’s voice.

“We’ll figure it out,” he moves back a fraction, hand on Frankie’s shoulder. “We’ll figure it out together, okay?”

Audrey tosses her keys, phone, and a stack of mail on her kitchen island, toeing off her sneakers as she piles her curls at the crown of her head and secures them with the tie on her wrist.

She washes her face and slips into the bedroom, tossing her clothes and bra onto the leather butterfly chair in the corner, swapping linen for the same tired t-shirt she's worn for the past two weeks.

It's one of Frankie's. Found at the bottom of a duffle that never got unpacked in the aftermath. Marled grey cotton that falls halfway down her thighs with a faded Corona Extra logo over her heart.

She idly pulls the collar up over her nose and holds it there as she sifts through the pile of mail.

An L.L. Bean catalogue.

An invitation to her cousin's baby shower.

A padded manila envelope.

From F. Morales.

She tears it open and pulls out a burgundy leather notebook with a yellow post-it stuck to the front.

I’m leaving this with you, because it feels fitting for you to have it. An exercise in remembrance. If you read nothing else. Please just read the last page.  x F

But Audrey’s brain.

The one that’s kept her alive after over 20 years on the razor’s edge of survival. 

Has already identified the worst possible contingency. 

And she frantically gropes for her phone with panic squeezing her chest.

Santiago answers not two seconds later.

“Yo,” he starts.

“Santiago, don’t say a single fucking word that's not an answer to what I ask you right now. Do you know where Francisco is?”

“Yeah, he’s sitting right across from me. All good.”

Fuck.

FUCK.

Her forehead falls into her palm as she heaves a sigh.

“Okay.”

But it comes out very wrong.

Cracked and choked. High-pitched on the last syllable.  

"Okay," she repeats as her legs begin to falter. "Thank you. Thanks, Santi."

And Santiago hears the tremor in her voice.

The raw fracture as she sinks to the floor. Back braced against the cabinets. 

Santiago gets up from the bar table, feeling Frankie’s eyes on him and steps out into a cloud of smoke on the patio.

“Hey, hey, hey, Aud. He’s okay. It’s gonna be okay.” 

“He sent—sent me this book and this note and FUCK."

She's hyperventilating now. Now that she's past immediate danger.

Now that the feeling catches up to her.

The fear.

“The…the way he worded this, it. I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m sorry for bothering…”

“Hey, Aud no no no. What did he send?”

“A notebook. A note that says I’m leaving this with you.”

“He’s not there, Aud. He’s okay. He’s okay, I promise. He’s not in that space. Benny and Will are here. We’ve got him.”

And he hears the sharp gasp of breath through her constricted throat. The staccato of her letting it out on a sob between beats of her racing heart where everything she’s tamped down rushes out of a crack in the earth.

“He’s clean. He’s not, in that headspace. Not near that point, Audrey,” Santi coos, his own throat tightening now. “He’s okay.” 

The Operative spoke first.

The Woman is speaking now. 

“How.”

And she means how do you know.

How the fuck can you be so sure. 

“We’ve,” Santi clears his throat, “we’ve been through this with Frankie before. Twice. He’s not there.”

“Santi.”

And the tremor in her voice hits him like the first time he saw his dad cry.

“Take care of him. Please. Please take care of him.” 

“Please.”

In the softest voice he's ever heard Audrey use.

And it’s the simplest plea delivered to him as though she were tendering her still-beating heart. 

“I will, Aud. You have my word, I will.”

Santiago hears her let out a broken sigh that’s muffled by a hand over her mouth.

“Thank you, Santi.”

“He’s gonna be okay, Aud.”

The line goes dead.

And Audrey weeps on her kitchen floor.

Until she’s wrung moisture from the marrow of her bones.

She reaches up to grab the little burgundy notebook, thumbing through to the last page.

A date range, a week and a half from today.

And an address in Jamaica.

An address that she knows.

A place where her future split off a new branch. The limb that she’s curled on now.

And she doesn’t know if she has it in her to go there again.

But not knowing what more to do, she flips to a random page.

Had a good day today. Made it down to the gym with Benny and Will. Think I smashed my hands up a bit, but it still felt good after. 

It's a journal.

And she idly realizes she's never really seen Frankie's handwriting before. Composed of tightly wound capitals in places that languidly flow together at the same time.

It suits him.

Another entry.

Saw an old Chevy for sale today and thought about buying it and fixing it up. Part of me wants to. But I don’t think I can right now.

And she flips all the way back to the very beginning. 

Why the fuck am I like this?

The journal spans the nearly three months that they've been apart.

Therapist asked me this afternoon if I’ve talked to her. Told him I haven’t tried and he asked why. I don’t think she’d want to talk to me. But he said that’s a decision I’m making for her. Guess that’s right. Asked what I’d say if she did pick up the phone. I don’t actually know. He said would you try to convince her to come back. And I don’t think I would. Not because I don’t want her back, I want that more than anything in the world. I want a future with her in it.  But I don’t think it’s right to try to convince her. 

He has “convince” underlined twice.

I want to be better. I need to be better first. What’s that shit they say about if your flower bed sucks. You don’t fix the flowers, you fix the soil. You make it a good place for them. I’m not a good place for her right now. But I want to be. I already fucked one good thing up because I wasn’t. I can’t just keep doing the same shit. Not just for her, for Luci to. She deserves a good dad. Audrey deserves a good man. Trying to convince her wouldn’t actually change anything. I guess that’s good to remind myself of.

Chevy’s still there. Talked to the owner, said he’d knock $500 off it for a vet. I’d still give him full asking. Still don’t know if I’m ready. But I hope I’m getting there.

Been thinking about mom and dad a lot lately. That last fight they had before the divorce. How mom just looked so defeated. How she looked at us with so much love. Even after what dad did. Even though her whole world was breaking. Even though we’re half him. How she just told us to get our favorite toy and tucked us into the back of her car with our blankets and never looked back. I remember holding Mr. Bear so tight that night.  I don’t remember ever seeing the bruises. But they had to have been there.  I think I’m dad. The last thing I wanna be is dad. 

Audrey stands briefly, fingers closing around the nearest bottle of wine and the stem of a glass before she returns to the floor and Frankie's notebook.

I keep thinking about that question, what would I say if she picked up the phone. All I can come up with is I’m sorry and I love you. It doesn’t feel like it’s enough. 

Had a dream about Aud last night. We were sitting on a patio watching a storm roll in. It was like I could feel her right there. Today was hard.

She flattens her hand to her heart at that one.

Lucia said today she wants a puppy for Christmas. Her mom definitely doesn’t want a dog in the house. I think a cat’s better since she’s still so young. Tried floating that idea, didn’t fly. Wish I lived closer so she could have a cat at dad’s house. I’d worry about being away so often. Probably on Davis’ shit list right now though so maybe that doesn’t matter. Hadn’t thought about that until now. The last two years doing this set us up pretty well. College and a car for Luci aren’t an issue anymore. Haven’t felt that weight off until now. Feels kind of hollow.

Bought the Chevy. And Santi thinks he’s making progress. Maybe things are starting to look up. Still scares the shit out of me though. Dunno what I’m in for. 

I used to wipe the tears from Mamá's cheeks when she tucked me into bed. What the fuck am I now. This isn’t who I am. It’s who I was taught to be. It’s what I was shown. It’s wrong.  It isn’t love. It’s fear.

Talked to the therapist about dad today. About how I think he always resented me for being more like mom. For not liking the things he did. How he would yell at me for being soft. And useless. I still remember that. Dug that in every time he could. He hated when I cried. Hated that I would spend hours playing with Mr. Bear. Hated that I liked to read. I think some part of me still believes him. That I'm not enough. That I never will be. I'll never be anything. And I fear it sometimes. Why would she want a useless fuck-up like me.

"You're not," Audrey whispers, running her fingers over the page like somehow it will carry her message to him.

I think he was afraid of irrelevance, at the end of the day. I wasn’t interested in anything he knew. Anything he could teach me. Think it made him lash out. And Mamá still got the divorce. Made him fuckin irrelevant anyway.  I think he got one fuckin awful lesson in that I never asked for. Love isn’t lashing out. It isn’t screaming or yelling. It isn’t won with a fist. But I think it fucked me up, seeing only that. I think I learned that from him. I look like him. But I’m not him.

Tears slip down her cheeks as she presses on.

Leaving for Oklahoma tomorrow. Santi’s coming with. Says we’ll have some fun while we’re out there. Part of me is looking forward to it. The other part of me doesn’t know if I’m ready. It’ll either move me forward or set me back. No way of knowing but to try. Because I can't stay here. I can't live like this.

The entries go silent for a week.

Just got back. Needed that time away. Think it helped clear the doubt. Feel better than I have in weeks. It was the right choice. Oklahoma is pretty in the summer. 

And a zing of jealousy for whatever is in Oklahoma shoots through her. 

As if she doesn’t have something of her own there. As if that’s not the first place she ran to. 

I wonder if I should give this to her. If it might be able to say everything that I can’t seem to. Because I know in the moment, if ever there is one, I’m gonna fuck up. I’m gonna look into her eyes and forget everything I want to say. “I’m sorry, I love you” is all I’m gonna have. And it isn’t enough. 

“I love you too, Frankie.” She whispers into her kitchen.

She thumbs the long tails of his “y”s. Lazy “r”s that always bleed into the next letter. 

But it’s the notion that his hands touched these pages. 

Formed these words.

Shed salt upon ink in places.

The way she holds some essence of him in her hands.

The way all she wants is to hold him again.

It’s two hours and three quarters of the bottle of wine gone when she makes her way through, again flipping to the last page. 

Her knees crack as she stands, grabbing her packet of Parliaments and lighting one off a gas burner. Three long draws before she sits back on the floor between her wine and Frankie's journal.

Fingertips reach for the glass of her phone as she opens her messages and taps on the “FM” bubble right at the top of the page.

I’ll be there.

Read 1:36 am.

Three dots appear on the screen.

I can’t wait to see you, Aud. I miss you.

And she doesn’t respond right away.

She can’t see through the tears.

I miss you too, Frankie. 

I miss you so much.

Taglist: @harriedandharassed @missladym1981 @sarcasm-theotherwhitemeat @toomanytookas @spookyxsam

@bloviating-vy

And tagging some of the lovely folks who keep me going on here. As always, please do let me know if you'd prefer not to be tagged:

@tinytinymenace @legendary-pink-dot @for-a-longlongtime @theshensei @iamskyereads

@la-vie-est-une-fleur29 @soft-persephone @julesonrecord @criticalarchitecture @oliveksmoked

@jessthebaker @tanzthompson @youandmeand5bucks @ems-chaos-corner @thethirstwivesclub

@76bookworm76 @tuquoquebrute @jeewrites

Please note that old chapters are hosted on the OFFS Library page. New chapters will be posted here at Ohforficsake.

Shoot me a message @ohforficsake or comment under this post if you would like to be added to the taglist for updates! Thanks so much for reading.

#tw: suicidal thoughts #tw: physical abuse #tw: abusive marriage #frankie morales #santiago garcia #ben miller #triple frontier fanfiction #frankie morales fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal #the margay

[rheas-chaos-motivation]

How to fight writer's block (45 ways)

If you are indecisive like me, use a 1-45 number generator and do that one

Listen to music that's the vibe of the scene you need to write.

Set small goals, like one sentence a day. Majority of the time that will make you want to write more

Get an accountability partner

Use writing sprints, write for 5 or 10 minutes without stopping. Then take a break and repeat.

STOP BEING SCARED TO WRITE BADLY

write something random, maybe just a paragraph to get in the flow

write while doing something else, like eating lunch or watching TV if you can focus

read a book you wouldn't normally read

do some physical activity

do writing games/writing prompts

imagine people making fanfiction about your work

watch a movie/show to inspire you

write the scene you've been wanting to write

do something else creative (doodle, paint, cook, etc)

edit a scene

rewrite a scene in a different setting

take a shower/bath or just wash your face

pick up a random book/remember a book you've read and "pick a fight" with the author. What did they do that you didn't like and why don't you?

listen to your favorite song (with lyrics) but imagine it in a different context. imagine it a scene from a show/a show.

make a list of things you want to include in your work, eventually you will come across an idea you will want to write.

use pen and paper

create a check list of things you have to do (make them small like open computer, open google docs, write one paragraph, etc.)

identify your strengths

identify your weaknesses

write from a different pov

remember why you started writing this project

remember why you started writing in general

dress up and pretend you are in a movie about a writer

reread your writing and find your favorite part

create a writing ritual, do two thing to get you in the mood of writing

take a break

write for one imaginary reader, what does that one reader want to see?

write some bad poetry (helps you "feel" your emotions)

use this game, you have to write an amount of words that you choose before the opponent knocks you out: Fighter's Block! (cerey.github.io)

write with a friend

write badly on purpose. And when i mean bad or cringe i mean commit. Write a dicord mod x discord kitten Wattpad fic (maybe dont post it though 😭). Just make yourself laugh

If you are stuck because you dont know what to do come up with something stupid that can be changed later (for this one scene the hero a has fourth leg that allows them to dig through the wall)

Figure out why you can't write and address that first.

imagine someone reading your story for the first time and it inspires them to do something they wouldn't have done otherwise (confess to their crush, start writing too, come out, etc)

GIVE YOURSELF DEADLINES AND STICK TO THEM

OR HAVE SOMEONE GIVE YOU DEADLINES

write about having writers block

write something that isn't yours (dont steal peoples work and try to publish it/pass it off as yours). Like a scene from a show or incorporate song lyrics into your scene.

create Pinterest boards based off your characters/plot/scenes

STOP BELEIVING IN WRITERS BLOCK AND WORK THOUGH IT. WRITE IT BADLY. WRITE IT BADLY. WRITE IT BADLY. WRITE WHEN YOU DONT FEEL LIKE IT. WRITE WHEN YOU THINK YOUR TERRIBLE. WRITE WHEN YOU ARE UPSET. WRITE IT BADLY.

#writing blog #creative writing #writerslife #young writer #writers on tumblr #writers #writerscommunity #writblr #writing advice #am writing #female writers #writeblr #writers and poets #ao3 writer #writing #how to write #writers block #writer #novel writing #writing humor #writing process #writing practice #writing prompt #writing community #writing inspiration #writing ideas #on writing #writers and readers #writers community #writers life

[venturelovebot]

A/N: Haha caregiver!Venture make dopamine go bbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr so I made some head canons in between working on requests again because cope. I also started this at 2:00 AM and finished it at 7:00 AM wwweeeeeeeeee!!! *spins around* I am so tired!!! My wrists and fingers hurt!!! Send help!!!

Premise: GN!Reader keeps their small side a secret– but apparently not very well.

Warnings: No warnings! Just fluff! *twenty confetti cannons all explode at once*

✎ᝰ Opening up about something that's private is hard.

✎ᝰ Opening up about something that's stigmatized is even worse.

✎ᝰ It wasn't something that you particularly enjoyed talking about, either.

✎ᝰ 'Oh, I'm shopping for my niece/nephew. I'm too old for toys... duh!'

✎ᝰ 'Lots of adults color, is it really that weird?'

✎ᝰ 'Even adults watch Bluey, it's just a cute show!'

✎ᝰ People still gave you looks– but it's not a lie. Whenever life was giving you a hard time, sometimes you colored.

✎ᝰ Other times you blew bubbles and watched them drift in the wind like dandelions.

✎ᝰ Sometimes you make a little hot cocoa in a cute mug and rewatch Bluey all the way through.

✎ᝰ Everything you did now was so much better than the destructive habits you had back then.

✎ᝰ You had crawled tooth and nail out of hell and you had no plans on going back anytime soon. Or ever again.

✎ᝰ And yet, you felt embarrassed whenever someone asked you about it.

✎ᝰ You were no stranger to being misunderstood and misinterpreted.

✎ᝰ So when your beloved walks in the middle of your Bluey marathon, you were low key terrified.

✎ᝰ "Uh, I can explain–" You reach for the remote from underneath your blanket.

✎ᝰ "Oh! Nice! I love Bluey!" They flop down on the couch beside you.

✎ᝰ Bullet dodged, for now.

✎ᝰ "What made you wanna watch Bluey?" They ask.

✎ᝰ You tense up again, casting your gaze away from them.

✎ᝰ "No real reason." You reply. You really couldn't think of a better excuse.

✎ᝰ They softly chuckle at your response. "That's why I call you bebé~!"

✎ᝰ You can feel your heart leap in your chest, partially out of nervousness and partially out of joy.

✎ᝰ They reach over to nuzzle your face, rubbing your noses together to give you bunny kisses.

✎ᝰ "You're just so cute!" They begin to pepper kisses to your face. "Mi conejo~!"

✎ᝰ They reach to move your stuffie so they could cuddle up to you.

✎ᝰ "Wait–" You involuntarily take it back out of panic. "I need him–"

✎ᝰ "Him...?" They question.

✎ᝰ "Never mind." You try to backtrack and save yourself, feeling shame burn a light shade of pink onto your face.

✎ᝰ "Does he have a name?" They play along.

✎ᝰ You're quiet for a moment. You realized never named your fluffy friend when you bought him.

✎ᝰ "I never gave him one." You explain. "I guess I didn't think about it."

✎ᝰ "Hmm. How about Pompón, because he's nice and soft! Señor Pompón!"

✎ᝰ You hold Señor Pompón close to your chest before nestling into his fur.

✎ᝰ "Does Señor Pompón mind if I cuddle with you?" They ask.

✎ᝰ "Of course not!"

✎ᝰ Their arms wrap around you, making sure to include your stuffie in their embrace.

✎ᝰ You instantly melt into their touch before placing your head on their chest for comfort.

✎ᝰ Their hand softly rubs your back and they place a kiss on top of your head.

✎ᝰ "Mi amorcito..." Their voice is gentle like milk and honey.

✎ᝰ "... are you feeling small?" They ask.

✎ᝰ All the color drains from your face and you feel your heart leap into your throat.

✎ᝰ "N-no!" Your voice squeaks in horror. "Why would you think that?"

✎ᝰ They grin. "I had some suspicions."

✎ᝰ If '?!?!?!?!?!?!' made a noise, then that's definitely the one you made.

✎ᝰ "Mi conejo, you don't have to hide yourself from me. It's okay. I'm happy that you're happy. That's all that matters to me– okay?"

✎ᝰ You blink anxious tears from your eyes.

✎ᝰ "I love you when you're big, and I love you when you're small. It makes no difference to me as long as you feel safe."

✎ᝰ You look up at your beloved with starry doe eyes. You could not believe what you were hearing.

✎ᝰ "I've seen you on your worst days. If being small makes you feel better, then be small, mi bebé. I won't judge you. I'll be here with you if you want me to be."

✎ᝰ You're dumbfounded, near speechless. "I– You–? Please stay–" You lean into their body and they hold you tight. "I–"

✎ᝰ "Shh. I'm right here." They reassure you with the same silky, smooth voice.

✎ᝰ You feel your heart start to soften with their words, moving your arms from around Señor Pompón and now returning the hug from your beloved instead.

✎ᝰ "Te amo, mi bebé!" They place more kisses to your bright pink face. "Cutie!"

✎ᝰ You lightly giggle from all the affection before you feel yourself running out of breath. All the fear you felt lessen with each laugh.

✎ᝰ "Mi bebé feliz~! Mi bebé feliz es tan mono~!"

✎ᝰ In between the laughter and kisses you feel tears dripping from your eyes– but not from sadness.

✎ᝰ They reach up to wipe your face dry with their sleeve.

✎ᝰ "Can we color later?" You wonder, eyes bright and filled with joy.

✎ᝰ They playfully ruffle your hair. "Of course, conejo. Will you color a picture for me?"

✎ᝰ You feel a fuzzy warmth filling your body from head to toe. "So! Many!" You exclaim. "All the pictures! For you!"

✎ᝰ "Oh? I don't think we have enough room on the fridge for all the pictures!" They point out.

✎ᝰ "Oh. Maybe just one for now then–" You start to reach for the drawers on the coffee table and pull out your coloring supplies.

✎ᝰ "Wow. You're already prepared." They watch as you get to work doodling with your crayons.

✎ᝰ "Coloring is serious business." You reply.

✎ᝰ You sketch yourself holding hands with your beloved.

✎ᝰ They watch as you carefully mark the blank sheet of paper with various shapes and colors, creating your masterpiece piece by piece.

✎ᝰ "You're so talented!" Their hand slowly strokes your fluffy hair as you color away with content. You feel a smile forming across your expression.

✎ᝰ You draw an arrow pointing to yourself and write your name in your favorite color.

✎ᝰ You draw a second arrow pointing to Sloan and write Nini in yellow, finishing it with a cutesy heart surrounding the letters.

✎ᝰ They reach down and place a kiss to your head. "I love it so much, conejo! Actually, can I keep this one with me?" They ask.

✎ᝰ "Of course." You look up at them with a look of pure felicity.

✎ᝰ "I promise I'll take good care of it!" They delicately fold it just enough to fit it inside of their wallet before placing it back into their pocket.

✎ᝰ "Now– can you color me a photo for the fridge?" They request.

✎ᝰ You don't reply. You simply look back down, grab your crayons, and get back to work.

#spanish dictionary where would i be without you. bet it's still wrong tho. oh well! #i tried! i swear! #sloane cameron #sloan cameron #venture #venture overwatch #venture ow2 #overwatch #overwatch 2 #venture x reader #venture x you #overwatch x you #overwatch x reader #overwatch fanfiction #overwatch headcanons #fandom agere #overwatch agere #THAT'S A TAG? *follows* #also finding nonbinary parent names is so hard #but i think nini/nibi fits them the best #i'll probably add more in the future too

[seouljazzbar]

those tags on the seunghan corruption kink ask?? care to elaborate ma'am 🎤

i kinda wanna take the time to write something fully so i’ll just scratch the surface here hehe but something like best friend!seunghan who you’ve always felt weird around because he flirts with you but in a way you can’t take seriously :( you don’t hate yourself by any means but it baffles you to think that he genuinely means it when he tells you that any guy would be lucky to have you, himself included. it all just feels like a big joke because no way does he want you like that? right? but then you’d get the idea from a friend to just ask him to show you the ropes sexually since you’re severely lacking and “who better than your disgustingly hot bestie to pop that cherry?” and you’d almost chicken out several times, but you’d just blurt it out at the library coffee shop while he’s trying to study and he would be shocked out of whatever coursework he was staring at. “i.. i, what? yes! i mean yes!!!!!!” but a few days would go by and he wouldn’t be say anything so you’d be so hurt like yikes i guess he truly isn’t interested! but friday night would roll around and he would ask to take you out for ice cream, a very unassuming hangout. but he won’t stop touching you, a new addition to his sweet little compliments and dirty jokes. and it hits you when he takes you back to his place— this is it. he’s doing it right now. he’d sit you down on his bed, nosing at your neck while you sitting there all warm and fuzzy, his soft nudges turning into kissed across your neck and shoulders, down your arm to your hand kissing ever single finger while looking at you through his inky lashes. “tell me, baby. what do you wanna know? wanna know what it feels like when i eat your pretty pussy? or what my fingers inside you feels like? hm?” and you’d moan involuntarily, a shudder racking through your body as his hand squeezes your thigh. “w-wanna suck you off, hannie. i just wanna try” and he’d pout at your meekness, thinking you were just the cutest thing in the world. “i can teach you, baby, but if you wanna go down on me it’s only right that i get a taste of you, right?”

#okay i’m a liar LMAO #seunghan blurb #seunghan smut #seunghan x reader #seunghan imagines #seunghan hard hours #riize hard hours #seouljazzbar

[wildissylupus]

Can we get some OW New Blood headcanons? Whether it be some type of angst, heartfelt, or lighthearted interactions between the group.

Ask and you shall receive!! It's been awhile since I've done some New Blood stuff so let's see what I can do. Let's start off with some head canons first.

The New Bloods are the biggest human help in getting Zarya to unlearn her prejudices against omnics, it's mostly by telling her their own experiences with the Crisis (and with Hana it's her experiences with the Gwishi). They also call her out if she does or says something in line with her prejudice.

Cassidy is giving them all stealth training cause holy shit he cannot be the only person on that team who knows how to stealth, Baptiste is close but Cassidy knows that Talon stealth training is not going to cut it.

On top of that Cassidy is also giving specific training to D.Va so if she has to fight outside of her Mech he knows he can handle herself.

All of them know about Pharah's crush on Angela, either being told by Pharah herself or from Cassidy complaining that Genji and Pharah are hopeless at romance (he's been dealing with this for a max of 14 years at this point, he's allowed to complain)

They are all in agreement that if they are on a mission in a Talon base, they need to steal as much equipment as possible, mainly focusing on medical supplies.

They all make strategies on how to best use their skills together. They also sometimes include other agents abilities as well.

Pharah is the least foul mouthed of the group, only really swearing outside of missions, the rest? Not so much. By far the people who swear most often are Cassidy and D.Va.

----------------------- Cassidy: So I hear you you and Angie where around each other a lot while she was in Cairo, anything happened? Pharah: We just... hang out, spent time together, nothing other then what we would usually do before. Cassidy: ....Fareeha it's been fourteen years, for the love of god please make a move that isn't just flirty banter. ----------------------- Zarya: I don't understand how you have so many fans. Why do people like to watch you play games that they can play themselves? D.Va: The same reason why people play the Olympics and other sports, cause they like to see other doing something they love! ----------------------- D.Va: Ok so what if I initiate Self Destruct and you shoot them when they get behind cover! That way no matter what we're still hitting them. Cassidy: I don't know, might be able to hit some of them but I doubt it would be worth riskin' the Mech. D.Va: Oh, OH! What about if Niran launches you into the air and you shoot them from above! Cassidy: Hey...That ain't half bad! ----------------------- Baptiste: You know, you should really get some rest, it's not good to overwork yourself. Pharah: Have you been talking with my mum? Cause if she did you should tell her to take her own advise. Baptiste: No, no, I noticed it myself. Though I do think it's funny that both Ana and Cole seem to have the same issue as you. Pharah: Well, it kinda runs if the family. ----------------------- Pharah: Hey Cole, did I tell you that Jean thought we were dating? Cassidy: Ew, what?! What made you think that?! Baptiste: You two just seemed to have a lot of history! I was curious! Pharah: Yeah, it was our history that made you curious, nothing else more personal. Baptiste: Fareeha, I swear to god- ----------------------- Pharah: You know, you and Brigitte remind me of Cole and Angela when they were younger. D.Va: Ugh, Cass said the same thing, but I know I'm way cooler then he is! Pharah: HA! He would have said the same but trust me, it's a compliment.

#overwatch #overwatch 2 #overwatch lore #overwatch headcanons #analysis #cole cassidy #cassidy overwatch #overwatch cassidy #overwatch cole cassidy #cassidy ow #ow zarya #aleksandra zaryanova #overwatch zarya #ow pharah #pharah overwatch #pharah #d.va #d.va overwatch #d.va ow #overwatch dva #dva ow #dva overwatch #dva #overwatch baptiste #baptiste overwatch #jean baptiste augustin #new blood comics #overwatch new blood

[corrodedcoughin]

Eddie, in the middle of whatever conversation or silence is happening when a thunderstorm starts: I have displeased the gods, may they have mercy on us all

#this was in my drafts from last year and I have legit no memory of this #did I post it before? #sudden fear that this is a stolen post but I don’t think it is? #anyway remnants of my shitposting and writing back in the day #how is everyone?! #hope May is treating you well #[redacted tags giving life updates that aren’t important or interesting] #so that’s fun! #hope you have plans for the rest of the year that means you have something to look forward to #that does include just taking time for yourself

[angelsdean]

their sibling dynamics are so fascinating to me bc i have a similar parentified dynamic w/ my own younger sister, like to the point where it's the "joke" in the family that i'm literally her second mother / third parent like people say that about me. anyways. but we're also like, besties ??? and we have a bigger age gap than dean and sam, double their age gap actually. and we both make fun of each other and "fight" and have our own inside jokes and can make each other riot with laughter from just a single look and we can have whole conversations w/o saying a word and we have overlapping neurodivergencies that just make us go "same brain!" but then also she has sensory issues that i just do not get and vice verse and we tease each other abt them but if anyone else were to do such a thing obvs it'd be like wtf dude??? but we're allowed to be extra mean to each other (and no one else can) bc we love each other and it's unconditional and we're literally besties. but then at the same time, she'll be a huge baby and not want to do something or do it wrong and i'm just like [exasperated sigh] "give me that" and just do it myself. or she won't want to order at restaurants. or ask for help finding something in a store. and i also do not want to do that but my older sibling "mother-mode" kicks in and i'm like ok fine i'll do this for you. and i always give her the bigger portion of things if it's not evenly cut or distributed. and i'll leave the last of the pink lemonade in the fridge for her and drink water instead. and it's just, a weird complicated dynamic of "i love you like my own kid but also you are my sibling and we will have these sibling moments of getting on each other's nerves but i'm also always going to put you first in the things that really matter" and that's how i see the sibling dynamic from dean's POV really. and sometimes the show manages to show that dynamic but a lot of times it flops hard on getting the sibling-isms right and it's very frustrating lol

#not turning on rbs but i just wanna talk abt thee sibling dynamics ! #i feel like a lot of ppl just don't get it ?? esp if you don't have a sibling yourself or you're the younger sibling #OR you just have a normal non-parentified dynamic #like having an older sibling who just does stuff for you occasionally is not the same as having an older sibling who everyone including #your parents sees as a 'third parent' to them and who is treated like a parent and given parent responsibilities #and above all that IS emotionally thee main parental figure and the one ur sibling actually goes to when they need something #a lot of ppl will insist that ppl take the 'sam is dean's kid' stuff too far and that nooo they're brothers let them be brothers #but it's !!! complicated !!! when one of them is in a parentified role !!!!! #like i said w/ my own sister. we absolutely are siblings and have those sibling moments. most of the time we act like siblings #but there's always an undercurrent of. ok but she does come first in a lot of ways. and i'm responsible for her #which i think is something dean feels a lot and is actually like. the crux of their dynamic and why he constantly gives up so much #to follow his father's first commandment of 'look our for your little brother' #but crucially !! sam doesn't reallyyy see dean as his parent. he sees dean his annoying older brother. and that's where things clash a lot #between them. bc in *my* situation my sister also is aware of the parentification and we're gotten to the point were WE can joke abt it #but sam imo does Not see how dean is literally his main parental figure. bc john as his authoritarian father is so large in his mind #whew. lots of tags ajsfdkf maybe i Will have to make a proper post abt all this later but i just wanted to ramble my thoughts rn #vic.txt

[muu-kun]

Speaking of fashion, I will eventually have the appropriate amount of time to dedicate myself to a proper attire headcanon post. For now, I only have examples for silhouettes pertaining to dresses gathered. Which at this point can ultimately be narrowed down in explanation as Muu holding preference for a bodice that does not require even just a modest breast size.

Although he does wear bralettes (which is not out of gender dysphoria or euphoria on any account actually. Instead, it is more so like a running joke with himself at this point due to the fact he's actually had an infatuation with wearing them since he was a sixteen year old boy that found a bra lying in the street) he doesn't do so with the intent of applying padding to them-- especially when considering the fact he has some minor gynaecomastia due to stubbornly persistent baby fat going on. He can deal with those, but he definitely doesn't want to even so much as imply he has "real breasts."

He also isn't one to gravitate towards those built around the necessity for breasts due to the fact that he does not wish for the attire adorning his body to appear as though something (or somethings) is missing. Which is also the given reason why even in his decision to wear what is considered women's underwear underneath the dresses similar to above, he does not engage in the act of tucking. Yes, that does come within treacherous territory per the fact that he is then advertising himself as a flamboyantly youthful individual with an occasionally visible (and not incredibly well endowed, mind you) genitalia outline in his attire. That's not even to mention the detectability of his disabilities on establishing conversation with him.

Beyond that, he's not too partial to much else. Length and material is otherwise irrelevant as long as he can freely move within it to accommodate an in-between active and sedentary lifestyle. He would also best appreciate those that are not overwhelming to the senses in one manner or another-- this includes itchiness, heaviness, lack of breathability, and so on. Textures usually aren't too worrisome to him, however, as he has been raiding the closet of his female friends (such as Hannah of @kannojo predominantly) for years, so by now he knows what he does and doesn't like with enough ease that even unexpectedly finding something is unappealing to him van be easily remedied without any fit.

The bottom line with all of this is while Muu strictly wears what is primarily marketed as women's clothing, he does not do so out of the desire to be a woman. In fact, he's asked that question within himself many times only to come up with the same conclusion each time: He is simply an aged up boy caught up in having to navigate too many things at once, therefore eccentricities intended to lighten his load have transpired. Being that 99% of abusers have been men throughout the years, and women his sanctuary from them, it became sensible at some point for him to cease one struggle for favor of mirroring his safety while he sources through another. Muu has no idea even how to be a person yet, let alone a gendered one.

That is also not to say he wishes to abolish entirely in favor of utilizing they/them pronouns. In fact, it still remains quite the opposite. At this time in his life, he's not looking to be othered more than he always has acquired for himself. Being gridlocked into a perpetual state of regression in his present has been isolating enough as is that he doesn't wish for more beyond that. It also has intriguingly been almost beneficial in keeping some of his identity centered, though, as being so interwoven with his inner teen provides connection with the perspective of character held back then.

When he was sixteen, he was very self assured in nearly all aspects in life until led to second guessing the bulk of them. Of those is one of which where he was well adamant that he was a boy with a preference for he/him pronouns to demonstrate that. And while he's been able to find appreciation for femininity that he'd have otherwise mocked in his youth, that is as far as it goes for the time being. Working beyond the semantics of that just isn't on the table at this time in his life.

Where he might go with it during Pride Month is still up to him, but, really, his focus is far more centered on fulfilling and answering other aspects of his person at this time. Generalized comfort and safety are of the utmost importance to his emotionally led manner of living. Once that is established, whether or not he opts for reintroducing what is considered men's attire back into his wardrobe is completely up in the air.

#; ♡ ; headcanons #muu doesn't even necessarily actively consider himself nonbinary due to the fact that he's open to the possibility #that he will feel centered in his identity as a man just as he was with boyhood once he is no longer Terrified to exist as is #identifying as genderflux in some aspect is definitely a cluch for him in regards to #when you've heard from people your whole life that you are not a man for aspects relating to maturity and physical appearance #you eventually may find yourself going I'm not a man maybe!! Out of safety and hopefulness that doing so might make people be kind to you #socially he definitely feels abandoned by masculinity and blocked out of spaces by his peers #but being a woman has never fit right in his head either as he genuinely knows he does not Want to be one #what he wants to feel included and wanted with so the bulk of muses who've so far made him feel that way are women #and only really a couple men at best with fran at the top of the list #women wise he has neff who he has commented even himself to be the only person not including his canon wife #to love him unconditionally #and suki who after one stint or another involving sully and calix was the only person to ask him how he was feeling #I'm also including lyla per the fact that she is one of few he can be fun and funny with which may not sound like a lot #but when you carry the burden of holding a notoriety for being melancholic it is actually really an act of kindness #to be considered something other than that even just once because he did used to be very cheeky back in the day #nowadays he just spends so much time worrying about what characteristics of himself must be so grotesque to others around him #that he's lost the ability to even breathe too loud around another person let alone take up space and time beyond that #which is actually why I find it very fitting he wears women's clothing because which section of the binary has gone centuries being told #to stay out of sight and out of mind for their own safety ?? #not to mention the fact that can one really be too surprised that someone deeply in need of nurturing spaces #would then decide to dress like a woman because of the connection with motherhood #being that moms are usually the poster parent for unconditional love which is a whole mixed bag I'm not getting into today #nonetheless the bottom line is still that muu does not identify as either transgender transsexual or even as a crossdresser as #none feel applicable to him at this time and instead he's solid in being people's eccentric friend who happens to be #both feminine and jovial and most Definitely sensitive all while he figures out all else beyond that

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

Why do Some People constantly have to prove how smart they are

#it’s exhausting #like I’m just trying to have a normal conversation I don’t CARE #men are the most annoying creatures in the world #not all of them #but god I swear I know most of the ones that are #like even when I’m actually asking for him to teach me something #(which usually I’m not and he just decides it’s time for me to learn something I already know) #he uses super big words and makes things more confusing #when u do that. you’re just showing that you don’t know the topic well enough YOURSELF to properly explain it to someone else #anyways this is probably on me for giving him the benefit of the doubt and asking questions #actually I’m not done complaining #one time he asked me about my research #and TWO seconds after I started talking #he began interrupting to ask questions to prove how smart he is #and I’ve talked to So Many people about my research who are Much Much smarter than him #and they never made me feel dumb like he does #and then yesterday I was like ‘wow that lecture sucked for me I bet it did for u too cause ur not aerospace”’ #and he was like ‘no actually I understood most of it because I took a class 5 years ago’ SHUT THE FUCK UP #EVERY other person including aerospace people were like 👁____👁 during that lecture #u taking a class five years ago on it does not make u more qualified than everyone else who actually studied this subject for four years!! #ugh he’s so annoying #and this is not me complaining cause maybe he’s smarter than me #he probably is #but people generally aren’t this assholey about it #and I’ve been watching M (another much nicer guy) for a while in our classes #and he’s much MUCH smarter than L #u can tell solely by the kinds of questions he asks #but he never ever makes me feel dumb like L does #if you’ve gotten this far thank u for listening #i really should not be this annoyed I’m gonna have to be coworkers with him for a hot min