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chaithetics · 1 year

Text

Furtive Hands

Pairing: Stewy Hosseini x f (Roy) reader

Word count: 7.3K

Chapter/content warning: 18+ MINORS DNI, established/secret relationship, smut, fingering, P in V intercourse, some fluff, soft but also kind of dom-ish Stewy? Vague-ish mentions of canonical childhood abuse/trauma, and toxic family dynamics, Logan makes a cameo at the start (deserves its own warning), Logan's death and grief mentioned also Roman being a bit of a douche. I think that's it?

(Reader is technically a Roy because that's how the plot/idea worked but I avoided physical descriptions other than reader having AFAB physical characteristics. You're more than welcome to canon this reader as being adopted or half-siblings with the other Roys. I try to avoid giving physical characteristics and am tempted to continue to code all my readers as readers of colour out of spite due to the lack of intersectionality in fics. My reader in A Cinematic Lover has no physical characteristics other than being chronically ill but is Desi coded.)

Author's Note: I didn't proofread all of it, whoops. This is also my first time writing Stewy and I'm not too sure how I feel about this fic. I don't feel super confident in saying that "I captured his voice" etc. But I adore Stewy Hosseini and Arian Moayed and we need more Stewy fics. Please let me know your thoughts! I'd really appreciate the feedback :)

Like being in the Roy family, being the youngest in the clan had its perks and downfalls. You’d been able to get away most of your life with your father’s wrath directed towards your older siblings but at a certain point when they’d reached adulthood before you and it was quickly redirected towards you. You and your older brother Connor were the only ones to stay out of the family business, Connor was technically more involved than you which said a lot to anyone familiar with the family’s affairs.

Despite being the youngest it would be fair to say you were the most emotionally mature of your siblings (although you could easily admit that’s a very low bar) and the most well-adjusted (again, another relatively low bar). You were a practising clinical psychologist who had of course undergone a bunch of therapy yourself for your childhood trauma. You’d wrapped up a session and were walking a patient out before heading back into your office for your office lunch date when you were interrupted by a booming presence.

“Dad?” You immediately questioned. “What are you doing? You shouldn’t be here-”

“I thought I’d stop by. See the new office-”

“I’ve had this office for 3 years.” You interjected.

Logan quirked an eyebrow at that, he seemed almost amused at your assertive call out. You had been a louder child like Roman but unlike your brother, you became quieter as a teenager. You knew your father had assumed that was because you didn’t have whatever “deficiency” he believed Roman had and that you’d grown out of it. The reality was, that it was a trauma response and you’d learnt that life was easier with him if you were quiet and made your presence as sparse as possible.

He’d always found playing his games with you particularly interesting due to this, you weren’t as quiet now as you were as a teenager and you weren’t as loud as you were as a child, somewhere in the middle. You could slink off at the few family gatherings you intended to not be questioned or dragged into shop talk. But you still had a known presence and you were the only one of his children who could somewhat confidently cut him off and respond to him with what he’d deem as some sense of calmness. You weren’t as pliant to him as your siblings which made his mind games all the more intriguing to him.

“Right. Well, it’s a nice enough place.”

“Thanks.” You bit your lip as you waited for your father to continue, he didn’t show up for no reason.

You were trying to project a calm facade you were starting to worry for a myriad of reasons. With what was going on with your family this wouldn’t be any pure coincidence. You weren’t the most involved in the family business but you were well aware and received updates from Kendall. But there was also concern over the potential sighting of your lunchtime visitor.

“Well dear, I need you to do something for me.” You tilted your head and your brow furrowed at his words.

“Since when do you need favours? Specifically favours from clinical psychologists?” You questioned.

“It’s to do with your siblings.” Logan spoke flatly as he then sat himself down on one of the armchairs in your waiting room. He was mildly irritated that you hadn’t invited him into your office and that you’d kept that room off limits for him, blocking the doorway to it.

You scoffed at his words and rolled your eyes, one thing was for sure, whatever this was, it wasn’t good.

“Continue.”

Logan’s eyes narrowed at you slightly as he watched you as if it was the first time he was seeing you. He was used to you being uninterested and not the way that Shiv tried to play everything cool with Logan. You were genuinely uninterested, your eyes looked cold.

You had a colder approach with your father in comparison to your siblings, it was healthier and the easiest for you to maintain without being sucked in like they were. It wasn’t a big surprise to anyone that you weren’t impressed with the confrontations that happened in your presence, your siblings had weird concepts and responses of support. But there were the built-in responses as you’d gotten older, Kendall defended and you comforted.

Logan hadn’t always given you a great deal of attention in those moments but he was familiar with your mannerisms as he’d call them now. But today you seemed annoyed, this wasn’t an emotion that Logan felt like he’d seen from his youngest in almost a lifetime. He found it to almost be the most interesting he’d ever found you, he mused that you must know or be hiding something.

“Well, you grew up with Kendall, Roman and Siobhan. You understandably know them well and you have a unique skillset with your area of expertise.” He paused for a moment watching your face as he said that before continuing.

“And?”

“You would’ve made observations of their behaviours over the years. Symptoms-behaviours- whatever the fuck you want to call it. You have the power to diagnose.” You looked at him and the cooler facade you normally actively projected with him was starting to fade into one of horror. “I’d like you to write a piece on that, about your siblings. Their credibility, illnesses. A media circuit perhaps as well. You’re a credible and telling source.”

You stared at your father in silence, you didn’t know what to say to him. This was awful, even for him.

“So?” He broke the silence, his eyes were deadly serious, and his lips were in a small but twisted smirk.

“No. No! Just no…That’s absolutely fucked up. No.” You looked around starting to think about how messed up that your father hadn’t just come up with this idea but that he was willing to do it to his children, your older siblings and drag you into this. “No, and if I did that who would then get the chance to write the think piece on you?” You asked sardonically rubbing your brow.

“Well, I’m sure Shiv could whip up a sequel to her letter on Kendall.” He bit back almost nonchalantly.

“I shouldn’t be surprised but I just can’t get over the fact that you’d do this, that you’d ask me to do this dad. What you did to Kendall after that Board vote, was sick… And again? To all of them?” You were starting to feel nauseous and weaker around him.

“Are you talking to Kendall?” He asked in a cold tone.

“He’s my brother.” You raised an eyebrow at him.

“And I’m your father.”

“Unfortunately.” You looked into his eyes and bit your cheek.

He scoffed at that. He’d come in relatively calm, well calm for him but he was quickly becoming agitated at your lack of cooperation.

“He’s a lousy excuse for a son and a brother.”

“Kendall doesn’t interrupt my day of work for a fucked up favour.” You spat out, you weren’t shying away from his gaze even though his presence was getting too much for you. “I think you should leave Dad. I have patients and I need to eat something, I need lunch.”

“Fine. Don’t give my regards to your fucking brother.” He said as he started to get up, you just leaned against the wall.

“Hey-” Stewy’s voice crackled against the thick tension between you and your father as he waltzed into the entryway of your waiting room. He paused for a second as his gaze quickly landed on your father and you. You thought you saw a brief flicker of panic in his eyes but he quickly and efficiently plastered over it.

“And what the fuck are you doing here?” Logan directed at Stewy with a huff and an eye roll. Logan’s concern and suspicion were piqued significantly now as his disappointed gaze flicked over to you.

“Well sir Roy, your deleterious business plans and board meetings are getting a bit too traumatic, that much I now need to see Dr Roy.” Stewy immediately and confidently jumped in, his playful and pointed lie came across smoothly and convincingly. Logan scoffed at that and started to walk out.

“Don’t think about trying any of your peacock philandering with my daughter,” Logan said to Stewy as he walked past him.

“How thoughtful, safe travels sir.” Stewy laughed off Logan’s comment which just seemed to irritate him more.

“Think about it.” Logan said as he looked back at you as he was in the doorway, you just held his gaze for a moment.

“I’ll see you at the wedding.” You calmly stated, he narrowed his eyes again at you for a second and then just walked off.

**********

Stewy wasn’t a patient of yours, he fortunately never had been, that would’ve been a massive ethical violation. He was meeting you at the office for lunch, something that you two often did. It had been vaguely discussed in the past that if somebody ever saw him in your office it could be easy to dismiss it as him being a patient or wanting some kind of psychological consultation relating to work. It was never an excuse that had been needed before today and you were surprised at how quickly Stewy went into that mode and how he simply sold it.

You were sitting on the sofa in your office with your legs in Stewy’s lap, he had an arm over the back of the sofa and his other hand was gently caressing your legs as you recounted the brief visit from your father before Stewy came. Stewy was playful and a bit chaotic but he was also intelligent and he could be serious and thoughtful, which he often was for you.

“I should call Kendall before something happens.” You said looking at Stewy and he nodded, continuing his comforting, soft touches on your sprawled-out legs.

You grabbed your phone and called Kendall, the phone barely rang before it was answered.

“Yo?”

“Dad came by the office earlier today.”

“Oh? What did the old fuck want?” Kendall teased.

“He asked me to write a piece on you, Rome and Shiv. To air out everyone’s laundry, basically ‘diagnose’ you all and try to discredit your side of what’s going on. It was so fucked up Ken.” There was a pause for a moment, you heard Kendall sigh and then inhale. You made eye contact with Stewy who was silent and watching you.

You had a requited soft spot for Kendall. He was your older brother and he was a good one at that. He was fiercely defensive of all his siblings, which he seemed to prioritise over his own trauma and feelings in confrontations with your father. But as the baby of the family and not having the same tongue as your siblings, you suppose you came across as weaker, more vulnerable. You’d concluded a long time ago that this added to the soft spot that Kendall has for you. You also thought subconsciously it was also linked to the fact that you were the most patient and sympathetic sibling he had.

“What did you say?” Kendall finally asked, his voice was more serious now.

“I said no, a bazillion times. I told him it was sick and asked him to leave.”

Ken nodded, and then he remembered that you couldn’t see that.

“That’s pretty fucked up. Not surprising though I guess…”

“Are you with Rome and Shiv?” You asked.

“Uh-huh, they’re in the uh, they’re inside.” Kendall answered quickly.

“Can you tell them?”

“Yeah, sure but-”

“I’m really sorry Ken but I have another patient soon, I just wanted to tell you as soon as I could in case something happened. I didn’t want to do it over text.” You answered.

“Okay, I’ll see you at the rehearsal. Thanks as well.” His second sentence was softer.

“Yeah, of course. See you then.” You then hung up and looked at Stewy.

“Did he sound okay to you?” You asked Stewy.

“Sounded pretty okay for Ken.” Stewy responded as he moved his hand away from your legs and to hold your now phone-free hand. You just nodded and Stewy changed the subject to something else for the rest of your lunch hour which you appreciated.

******

You would say you have a complicated but good relationship with your siblings. While you had the same mother as Kendall, Shiv, and Roman, you and Connor were bonded by your outcast status regarding family affairs. You didn’t agree with a lot of the opinions that left Connor’s mouth but he was still a compassionate older brother to you. You often were iced out together at family gatherings as it was all a business opportunity for your father’s attention.

You were glad that you just had to relay your father’s request to Kendall. Roman was unpredictable and Shiv would’ve assumed that you had sold them out and this was a mind game. An opinion she’d probably make clear to everyone else and in some way to you as well.

There had always been significant sibling rivalry in the Roy household. But Shiv had always seen you as her competition in particular, you two were the only women and she lived in a man’s world always striving to prove herself out of spite and nature. Even now she still believed your kinder nature was an act to disarm. She never hid the looks of distrust in her eyes.

You were now home. You still had your apartment and stayed there occasionally but that was more to save face than anything else. Somewhere along the timeline of your relationship, you’d almost practically moved into Stewy’s apartment. The walk-in wardrobe was equally divided, and your favourite teas were in the kitchen. “It’s closer to your office” had been the justification at the time when he’d been encouraging you to stay over more.

It was surprising that you hadn’t been caught yet with that in mind, part of you would sometimes wonder if your siblings did know but they were saving it but you knew that if they did it would’ve come out to slap you in the face by now.

When you’d first met Stewy what felt like a million years ago you never would’ve expected something like this to happen. Then when this all happened and started a few years ago it was still, very unexpected. But he knew probably better than what anyone else would ever be able to comprehend what it meant to get seriously involved with a Roy, even one not involved in the family business. He and Kendall had an interesting friendship and history, with Stewy having been mostly good to your brother. But Stewy was always good to you.

As you let yourself in you kicked off your shoes lost in your thoughts but you quickly noticed Stewy wasn’t back yet. This wasn’t a surprise though, your job meant you got to work more of a typical 9-5. Something you were grateful for, it seemed like life was just one, endless business meeting and opportunity for everyone involved at Waystar.

You’d made yourself a cup of tea and were now leaning against the bench in the kitchen with it while scrolling on your phone. You had Google alerts set for all of your immediate family and Stewy, surprisingly there didn’t seem to be too much drama online today.

“Ugh, fuck!” Stewy’s voice boomed and you heard a bang.

“Shit, Stewy? Are you okay?” You quickly called out as you made your way over to the apartment's entryway.

“Yeah, just tripped over your shoes again.” Stewy responded with an amused expression as he took his shoes off and moved them along with yours out of the way.

This wasn’t the first time it had happened and Stewy knew it wouldn’t be the last.

“I’m sorry.” You said bashfully as you walked over to hug him, pressing a soft, playful kiss to his lips. “I guess, it’s a good thing you love me.” You kissed him again, teasingly nipping on his bottom lip that was in between yours.

“You’re such a brat baby.” Stewy smirked as his hand wrapped more firmly around your waist and he kissed you back.

“I thought you loved that?” You teased between kisses as each one became more heated and desperate with lust. Despite Stewy often being caught or easily roped into your family drama he was the best distraction, escape and companion from everything.

“I do.” Stewy breathed out as he continued to kiss you and was now kissing your jaw.

“And I love you…” You whimpered out as his lips started to travel down your neck. He now had you pressed against the wall.

“And what is it that you love exactly baby?” Stewy purred out as he nibbled around your pulse point. He was always such a tease.

“I love your hair-” You moaned out as you dug your fingers into his soft, gorgeous curls that were always perfect. “Your voice, eyes, those goddamn turtlenecks, your smile, your colossal vocabulary-”

“Didn’t you say it was farcical the other day?” Stewy said as he stopped kissing you and looked at you.

“Stewy!” You whined out, you couldn’t feel his lips on you any more but you could still feel him against you but it wasn’t enough. You needed him. His gorgeous dark eyes were blown out with lust but he had his signature playful, mischievous smirk painted across his face as he cruelly teased you. “You’re such a tease.”

“I thought you loved that.” He quipped back. You rolled your eyes and took the bait.

“I do, I love how much of a tease you are.” He felt your breath against his neck as you spoke and then pressed a kiss against his neck, breathing him in. He always smelt so good, despite being a bit of a natural peacock it wasn’t showy, it was more subtle but strong enough. You were certain there was sandalwood in his cologne. “I also love how you feel inside of me.” You spoke as your soft lips kissed his handsome jaw, your soft lips a burning contrast against the tickle of his perfectly trimmed beard.

“Someone’s getting laid tonight.” Stewy got out, pressing his hips against you as you continued kissing along his jaw and neck, tugging his now tousled curls.

“That was the plan after all Mr. Hosseini.” You smirked against his neck, feeling him continue to harden against you. He let out a soft, melodic moan as you sucked softly on his neck.

“How does now sound?”

“Perfect.” You left his neck to kiss him on the lips, you moaned against his mouth as his teeth clashed against yours.

One of his hands left your waist to quickly unbutton your pants. Once he’d done that, he quickly slipped a hand in, teasing you as he palmed you and then started to tease your bundle of nerves over your underwear. Your arousal had already started to dampen your underwear and it only grew with his attention. You continued to moan against him, as he gingerly traced a pattern.

“You’re already so wet and I’ve barely touched you.” Stewy teased. “So beautiful and needy.”

Stewy smirked as he felt you press into his hand more, even with the friction of your underwear, you needed more. You wanted him then and there. You kept hungrily kissing him, feeling starved. Stewy snaked a finger under your underwear and rubbed it along your clitoris for a few seconds before dipping it inside of you making you gasp.

“More, please Stewy.” You begged between kisses, panting as he chuckled.

“Such a desperate girl with a needy pussy.” Stewy whispered into your ear as he added a second finger in, he picked up the pace a bit he continued to finger you and his thumb moved to rub over your clitoris a few times. His fingers were covered in your slick and you didn’t have any interest in holding back any of your moans.

You stayed sandwiched between the wall and Stewy, just moving to press your head against his shoulder, the fabric of his blazer muffled some of your moans as he continued to finger you. You looked down and started to undo his belt and pants.

“What do you think you're doing baby?” Stewy asked in a low voice that was just making the space in between your thighs grow into an even bigger pool of dampness, you were melting against him.

“I want you.” You tilted your head up so it was still resting against his shoulder but you were now facing his neck more, you started to kiss his neck again, biting it softly and then licking it. “I want you to fuck me Stewy.”

“Beg.” Stewy breathed out as he let out a little moan as your tongue darted over his pulse point. His fingers were still entering you but not as deep as before and his thumb was painfully slowly, languidly massaging your bundle of nerves.

“Please Stewy. Fuck me, I need to feel you deep inside of me.” You nipped him softly right near his pulse point and revelled in the groan he let out at that. “Please, I’m begging you Stewy. I need you.”

“Tell me exactly what you need.” His thumb cruelly left your clitoris for a moment making you gasp out in shock but he added a third finger inside of you, getting to that soft spot that made you melt and his thumb gently returned to your clitoris after a few seconds.

“I uh, I-I need you. I need you inside of me now Stewy. I need to feel your cock inside of me.” You moaned out. “Nobody has ever and could ever fill me up the way you do. It feels so good, you make me feel so good. Pl-please Stewy. Please.” You mewled out and you couldn’t quite see his face but you knew it would have that beautiful arrogant smirk.

“I’ll fuck you, baby. I just need you to come for me first, you can do that, right? I can tell your desperate little pussy is already so close.” You nodded desperately, he wasn’t wrong. You were close to unravelling, he could tell from your breathing and how you weren’t just flooding his fingers but also clamping around him.

“I’m so close, Stew, fuck.” You moaned out, panting against his neck, it tickled him slightly. You bit your lip and moaned against his neck, he could feel the vibration of it and he loved that, that and the sound of your pleasure. You could feel it coming and gasped into his neck again as you came, Stewy could feel it and smiled as his fingering eased to a slower, gentler pace as you came down from your orgasm.

“How was that?” He smirked as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

“It was- it was…” You paused for a moment as your breathing started to settle, your heart was still pounding from that high though. “Good.”

“Good? Only good?” He questioned with a tone of mock hurt.

“Just shut up and fuck me now, please Stew.” You bit his neck, just feeling even more needy for him than you did before.

“I thought you liked my colossal vocabulary and voice?” He teased as he playfully grinded into you “I distinctly remember you saying so a few minutes ago.”

“You’re so mean Stewy.” You giggled softly, gently pulling on the roots of his curls.

“Was that just to get me into your pants?” Stewy paused the grinding, his tone acting as if he was hurt and that the insinuation was possibly true.

“I guess not because that obviously didn’t work very well.” You responded, leaning back against the wall. He raised an eyebrow at you and then looked down at his belt. You rolled your eyes playfully and started to undo his belt, palming him. He was completely hard but you already knew this from when he’d been grinding into you.

“Bedroom baby.” Stewy moaned out as you pulled his hard cock out and rubbed it with one hand.

“You can fuck me here, you’ve done it before.” You pouted and he just chuckled as you kept up with your ministrations.

“You said I was mean, so you’re not getting it here. You can wait the whole ten seconds it takes to walk to the bed. Our bed for me to have my way with you.” Stewy’s voice was low and firm but there was still that natural teasing tone there.

You walked briskly to the bedroom that you two shared and Stewy followed and chuckled over the eagerness of your gait. As soon as you both were in the clean room, you kissed him hungrily again. He smirked and expertly unbuttoned your blouse as you pushed his blazer off. You kicked your pants and underwear off and he quickly followed suit.

Stewy pressed you into the bed and you tugged on the turtleneck he was still wearing to bring him closer to you and then started to push it up off him.

“Do you love my turtleneck baby?” Stewy teased as you did.

“Absolutely love it.” You breathed out with a smirk.

As soon as it was off and thrown to the floor, you were kissing each other again as if you couldn’t survive without the other. You were running your hands over Stewy’s back and up his neck to the luscious locks you loved as he quickly undid your bra. You were both now naked and he continued to kiss you as his hands cupped your chest.

You moaned out as he started to caress you and pinch your nipples. His lips travelled from yours down to your jaw, your throat, he kissed your breasts and teasingly licked along your nipple for a minute as he started to rub your heat with his other hand.

“Please Stewy.” You begged out in a desperate moan as your eyes were closed in pleasure.

“Please, fuck you?” He again teases as he starts to line himself up at your entrance.

“Yes, please that.”

Stewy stopped his teasing and happily obliged after what felt like an eternity of almost edging. He pressed his head into you and you gasped as he did, gently scratching his shoulders as he did. It wasn’t long till he was bottomed out, he waited a few seconds for you to adjust before he started to slowly thrust inside of you, eliciting the most melodic moans he’d ever heard.

“You’re so beautiful and tight, I love being inside of you baby.” Stewy cooed out as his pace quickly picked up a deeper and slightly faster rhythm.

“You feel so good Stewy, so good inside of me.” You mewled out.

Your words were literal music to his ears and it wasn’t long till he was grunting out as his thrusts became deeper and harder.

It was so easy to become lost in Stewy. Especially when he was fucking you like this, having his way with you in the bed you shared. How couldn’t you be lost in him when your eyes were open he was all you could see?

His scent was dizzying as it mixed with the sweat he’d built up from snapping his hips into yours, he was all you could feel, on you and in you, his grunts, words and the filthy sounds you were making together were all you could hear. Stewy was intoxicating, overwhelming, a sensory overload in the most spectacular way.

You were pulling on his hair as you felt him hitting that perfect soft spot deep inside of you. Your bundle of nerves was already sensitive from the teasing and your earlier orgasm and you could feel the warmth of another orgasm building.

Stewy wasn’t clueless about this, he could feel you clenching around him especially as he reached that sensitive spot of yours and you were flooding him in your arousal. Other than the feeling of being buried deep inside of you, Stewy couldn’t think of anything sweeter than the noises of your moan and whimpers and the sounds of the squelches made of him thrusting into you and being met with your juices.

Stewy continued to pound into you, his thrusts were faster and needier, and he was getting close himself. He pressed some sloppy kisses to your neck that warmed your insides up even more with desire and love for him. Stewy’s lips travelled back to yours and you opened your mouth inviting him in as your tongues and teeth passionately attacked each other.

The kiss became deeper and deeper, you wrapped your legs tightly around his waist and felt him groan at that against your lips which in turn made you smirk. You two continued to kiss and he started to rub your clitoris with his thumb, you moaned into his mouth at the sweet pressure and slightly writhed under him.

“That feels so good Stew.” You panted out as the kiss broke for a second and you both panted as he continued to thrust into you while rubbing a circular pattern on your bundle of nerves getting closer to their peak.

“You feel so good. I love you.” He panted out between moans, as his eyes rolled back at the feeling of your velvety walls clenching around him.

“I love you too.” You moaned out, as your legs tightened slightly around him and you scratched his back. “I’m, so, so, so close.”

“Yeah? I can feel that baby. Oh fuck, I want you to come for me, come on my cock baby.” He encouraged as he continued. Kissing along your pulse point, fully knowing that would drive you closer to your climax.

You moaned out while scratching his back and pulling on his hair as you unravelled from your orgasm. Stewy smirked against your neck and continued to massage your sensitive bundle of nerves and thrust at the same, perfect speed as you chased your orgasm and rode out that high.

“Thank you, baby, that was so good. I want you to come, to fill me up.” You panted out as you placed a hand to cup his cheek as his hips continued to snap back into yours.

“Fuck, I’m pretty close.”

You dug your nails into his back as he felt you clench around him in the most spectacular way as you orgasmed and post that. He began to chase his own high and you knew he was close as his thrusts spread up and the pace was more sporadic than rhythmic.

After a couple more minutes of thrusts, Stewy grunted and kissed you more desperately than he had all day and finally chased his own climax and finished inside of you. Before he pulled out the kiss changed to a gentle, affectionate one and you lightly combed your hands through his hair and then ran them along his face and jaw as he kissed you like that.

Stewy kissed your forehead softly and then pulled out to go towards the ensuite to get a washcloth to clean up the mess you had made together. He was so firm but gentle with you.

After that, he laid in bed again on his back, you were cuddled into his side, with your head on his warm chest feeling almost half asleep.

“What do you think of marriage now?” Stewy asked interrupting the peaceful post-sex silence. There was an air of playfulness but his voice was softer, quieter, almost sleepy.

“Pardon?” You shifted slightly off his chest to get a better look at his face. You were certain you’d heard him correctly but you weren’t sure if maybe you’d fully given into sleep and this was gibberish or a dream.

“We’ve talked about eloping before.”

“Yeah, yes we have but-”

“I wasn’t joking.” Stewy said as he gently held your chin between his index finger and his thumb. His voice was still soft but it was a bit firmer now, more serious than tired or playful. You bit your lip unsure of what to say as he continued to look into your eyes with his beautiful, diluted ones.

“You know what that would entail Stewy. Your career-”

“I do and-”

“Stewy.” You rested your chin on his chest looking at him. He could see that you were tired.

“So you don’t want to marry me right before your brother and Willa? Maybe a day or two after? Get that IUD out, then pop out a few babies. I’ll even be super fucking generous and get a vasectomy.” His tone was more teasing now and you had a feeling the humour wasn’t completely genuine but partially a cover-up of possible hurt.

“Sweetie, I love you. Can we talk about this tomorrow? Maybe not talk about this ‘post-coitus’.” You offered him a small smile and combed your fingers through his hair, admiring the dark locks and the stunning strands of silver.

“Yes ma’am.” Stewy nodded and kissed your forehead. You settled back into his chest and it wasn’t long until you had dozed off in his arms and on the comfortable pillow of his chest with the reassuring sound of his heartbeat.

********

You’d been the only one of your siblings to stay for Connor’s wedding. Weddings were just business opportunities in the world of the Roys, grief couldn’t exist with the market and leadership decisions. You didn’t like how the wedding or death side of that traumatic day went down or how it was handled but unexpected deaths weren’t meant to be convenient or follow logic.

You were now in your deceased father’s penthouse at his wake, having spent most of the morning hiding in a corner from as many eyes as possible. You’d really only spoken to Connor and Willa, your other siblings were in a sitting room being as business-focused as possible.

It had been a little while into the Wake and you were with your siblings when Stewy and the Furnesses came in. Connor and Willa had been the easiest to talk to which wasn’t really anything new. Kendall and you occasionally made little remarks to each other and even you and Shiv exchanged some looks over other people’s comments or well, audacity.

You took Stewy’s handsome face in, he looked well-rested and fresh-eyed despite the fact that he’d been up most of the night with grieving you. He was handsomely dressed and groomed as always. You wanted to be held by him again, to leave and be curled up in a ball with him. Normally you two acted amicably when your paths crossed in the Roy world and public like this. But you were too depressed and exhausted for the usual furtive nature.

He’d hugged and given his condolences to your sister Shiv and then she’d moved on to Sandi. You looked at Stewy and gave him a small smile, he went to give you a hug and a faux kiss on the cheek as he did for Shiv but you needed more than that, you needed him. You genuinely hugged him and pressed your head against his chest, hearing his heartbeat, a firm, undeniable reminder that he was there was always comforting. You didn’t care that your siblings were nearby, it wasn’t an indecent act.

Stewy couldn’t and wouldn’t say no to affection from you ever, let alone in your state in this context. He reciprocated the genuine hug and you held onto him for maybe a few seconds longer than you should’ve if you wanted to avoid the suspicion of your siblings.

You pulled away despite never wanting to do and tilted your head to see that he was looking at you warmly, sympathy written all over his eyes. His hands had moved to softly rest on the sides of your arm, the touch was comforting but could easily be perceived and argued as platonic to an onlooker. He had a small, genuine smile on his face as he looked at you.

“Hey,” he said softly.

“Hey.” You responded back quietly. You wanted to kiss him, you were almost tempted to and then Kendall was quickly whisking Stewy away.

You went back to your corner and eventually, you were joined by Kendall and Roman. You saw that Stewy was making his rounds of small talk and his eyes occasionally wandering, searching for you to see where you were and how you were doing.

“Have you thought about psychoanalysing yourself?”

“What?” You questioned exhaustedly as your mind was pulled away from stealing glances at Stewy by Roman’s words.

“That was a bit too touchy with Ken-doll’s boyfriend.” Roman retorted. “I didn’t realise jumping on your brother’s BFF was one of the five stages of grief.”

“Excuse me?” You now glared at him.

“Oh, I guess it must be a new one they added in. Are you gonna get a model named after yourself? Or are you saving the Roy model for something more fucked up?”

“I’m not doing this Roman.” You sighed in exasperation and walked off to find a glass of wine but were quickly disturbed again.

“Don’t worry, he doesn’t actually know about you two,” Kendall smirked as he whispered to you.

“What the fuck Ken?” You jumped at the fright from Kendall, you were grateful that you were still empty-handed or else you’d have stained your outfit if not all of your surroundings from your brotherly jumpscare. Your reaction just made Kendall’s smirk grow. “You knew? But Stewy never told you.”

“He didn’t. I figured out a while ago that you two were uh…” He dramatically paused for a moment as if he was thinking of the right word with a teasing smirk. “Copulating.”

“Ken!” You elbowed him softly to try and get him to quieten down. “Why did you never say anything?” You quietly questioned.

“Well, it was pretty fucking weird at first. He’s not the worst Harvard finance bro out there.” Kendall said with a playful expression. “He keeps you happy-adjacent right?”

“Yeah, he does. Thank you.” You gave Kendall a tight-lipped but grateful smile.

“You know, you don’t have to hide it anymore right?”

You looked up at Kendall, questioning him with your eyes. You and Stewy’s relationship was complicated and you’d say it was pretty healthy despite the furtive nature, it had been that way for everyone’s personal and professional sake. Kendall’s smirk started to slowly slip as he took in your expression.

“He’s dead.” Kendall spoke softly as you stared into each other’s eyes, he placed his hand on your arm as his face grew more serious. You eyed Kendall trying to find the right words. Sure your father had been part of it but it was a complicated situation with many pieces.

“I could live with dad icing me out, cutting that relationship. I made peace with what that is a while ago. But-but, it’s when Roman, Shiv, and you. That’s what really hurts.”

“That’ll be all that Roman says and well Shiv, she’ll only say anything about it behind your back.”

“So comforting and reassuring.” You dryly said.

“I’ll send you the invoice for Kendall Roy’s Therapy.” He teased and you both chuckled dryly at that.

There wasn’t much else to say to that and you knew Kendall wasn’t ready to talk about the bigger problems yet so you gave your brother a tight hug that he quickly reciprocated. You stayed in each other’s arms for a few moments, it was healing and reassuring in a way.

You then left to sit on a miraculously empty couch as Kendall went off to talk to Roman and Shiv again about company matters you didn’t want to hear about and that they wouldn’t want to discuss in front of you or Connor anyway. As you sat there, Stewy caught your eyes again and this time he finally came over. He sat next to you on the sofa but left a reasonable, person-sized gap between the two of you.

“Kendall knows, you know.” You quietly state looking at him tiredly, the events of the last 24 hours and your lack of sleep were quickly catching up with you.

“Well, I’m in private equity not acting baby.” You scoff at that and smile, sinking a little further into the sofa.

“Perspicuously not in comedy either, babe.” You say with a smile that grows. You tilt your head to look at his expression, his big beautiful eyes are watching you and there’s the cocky smile plastered on his face that you’re in love with.

“I’ve learnt it’s best to save the wit for the Roys.” He shoots back with a mischievous gleam in his eye.

Stewy’s here and he’s being cheeky for your sake. You love that about him, his tongue isn’t biting like your siblings but his humour is a way of showing up.

“Do you want to go on the balcony for a minute?” You questioned. “I want some fresh air.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure.” He leaned his hand over that empty space of safety between you two to squeeze your hand for a second before you got up and he then followed you.

He leant against the railing and watched you once you were both out on the much more, pleasantly quiet balcony.

You laid your head against his chest and wrapped your arms around him, listening to his heart calmly beat as he pressed his chin against the top of your head and exhaled. Stewy’s thumb was tracing reassuring patterns on your arm. He hummed softly for a moment and you could feel the vibration of it on the top of your skull.

You and Stewy both knew this was a sure way to be caught but neither of you cared in this moment and didn’t care about any of the consequences. They were manageable, they felt minor now and realistically they were. This would shift the family dynamic and having furtive hands with your lover always seemed to you to be in the best interests of Stewy’s career and the dramas between him, Kendall and Waystar.

You were pretty okay with being out in the open with Stewy and he felt the same way. As the relationship went on, he wanted that more and more. His post-coitus conversation was serious and not a post-orgasm thought.

“You were serious about eloping before Connor’s wedding weren’t you?”

“Probably poor taste to say it right now but yes baby, dead serious.”

You laughed at that and he felt it vibrate against him and it made him smile. He just wanted to bring you a bit of comfort and joy on an awful day like today.

“I don’t think it’s a bad idea.”

“Are you saying you want to get eloped?”

“Well, I was thinking of leaking the story to ATN that Stewy Hosseini is so whipped by the Roys that he gets a vasectomy for one and not the one they’d expect.” You teased, laughing a bit more and he laughed as well.

“Well, as much as I think we could find you something short to wear as an elopement dress, maybe something fun and scandalous like Sharon Tate’s since you like those old flicks. I don’t think we should leave your dad’s wake to go off and elope, might be the cultural upbringing differences but seems a little rude to me.” Stewy teased, you laughed and kissed him on the lips softly for a moment.

“How does tomorrow sound?”

“For an elopement?” “Yeah.”

“Perfect.”

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pheavampire · 9 months

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Astarion, Cazador and D&D vampire lore

Let’s talk about D&D vampires and some lore inconsistencies in Baldur’s Gate 3.

BG3 is not a game about vampires. It was obvious we won’t get a playable character who will be 100% vampire spawn from the handbooks - the mechanical balance would be disturbed in comparison with other characters. But we can list some weird stuff and missing aspects. For fun, for fanfiction, for nerdiness.

I still wonder why Cazador even asked Astarion if he wants to be turned. Sure, he could do that, so he could say later „ha ha you asked for it!” but still - weird. Anyway, a vampire lord doesn’t need to ask - he just bites his victim, kills it by drinking its blood and boom, a vampire spawn is made. Almost made…

… because at first the victim needs to be buried and layed in the ground before it rises. That’s the next question - how the hell did Cazador make 7000 spawns? Theoretically he needed to bury them all, dig them back/wait until they dig themselves out or something and transport them to his dungeon without being noticed. His servants could do that for him, but it still is a pretty big thing to cover. Besides…

… accordng to D&D 3.5 edition: "At any given time a vampire may have enslaved spawn totaling no more than twice its own Hit Dice" which means it was impossible for Cazador to create 7000 spawns. Sure, Baldur's Gate 3 uses 5 ed rules, but I'm sure they didn't change this one that much. (BUT! We can interpret this rule as: a vampire lord can create as many spawns as he wants, but the number of enslaved ones is limited. That's all right in this case).

That being said, Astarion is surprised when he discovers that all Cazador’s victims are spawns now. One of his dialogue options is „I thought Cazador was feeding on you”. Well yes, he had to feed on them to make them spawns Astarion, I thought you noticed that yourself 200 years ago. But let's say I understand your confusion, 7000 spawns mean Cazador's hit dice is 3500. Lol.

As a vampire spawn, Astarion should be able to regenerate even without biting someone. To be precise, he should get 10 health points at the start of every turn until he gets killed. But ok, this one doesn’t work in the sun, so let’s say it’s justified… unless the party is in the underdark, shadowlands or other dark place. But yeah, that would be too OP.

Astarion should be afraid of holy symbols, mirrors and garlic. That would be quite irritating, as he wouldn’t be able to even get near Selune's stuff or Lathander’s temple (Lathander HATES the undead, just ask poor Jander Sunstar). But let’s say the tadpole gave him immunity.

Spider climb. Imagine Astarion climbing walls or even ceilings like a damn Spiderman - this is what a regular vampire spawn can do. If the tadpole took away this ability, that’s not very nice of it.

Claws. Astarion should be able to transform his fingers into claws at will. That’s right, it works like another melee weapon.

Coffins, graves et cetera - bunk beds in Cazador's palace are a very anti-canon idea. Because D&D vampires have really traditional weaknesses, they always have to „sleep” in the ground they were buried in to recover - just like Cazador. Jander I mentioned earlier invented an un-lifehack, as he was traveling through Faerun by keeping some of the dirt from his grave in his pocket. He was scattering it in the place he wanted to rest for some time.

A vampire spawn can be controlled or banished by clerics like any other undead. That's right, when Shadowheart casts this one, Astarion should roll the dice, or else he will have to run away from her like those zombies you banished during your playthrough.

Last but not least, vampires get damage if they are in the flowing water, for example river, but you already know this one from the early access Astarion. Shame they removed it, in was a bit irritating but I loved it. It reminded me Astarion is a vampire not only in the dialogues.

That's all I can think of now. My knowledge is a mix of 3.5 and 5 ed, do with it what you want. I wouldn't mind more lore accuarte Astarion fanfics though.

Shocked Astarion reading D&D Monster Manual. Or Libris Mortis.

#astarion #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #cazador szarr #cazador #vampire spawn #dungeons and dragons #d&d #baldur's gate 3 spoilers

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persephone-writes2 · 8 months

Text

On the Streets of Coruscant

Padawan! Obi-Wan x Fem!reader

Part Two (posted on my new account)

Description: The reader meets the dashingly handsome Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi at a club, deciding to take him to see the sights of Coruscant.

Word Count: 8.6k

Warnings & tags: slight swearing (i refuse to use canon swear words), drinking, kissing, lots of fluff, pre phantom menace, everyone is an adult in this! me making up star wars names (this shit is hard!), bittersweet ending, saying “chuckled” too much

Notes: This is the second fic I've ever posted, and its been YEARS. Its also the first time I've written Obi-Wan, so sorry if this is awful! I would appreciate any constructive criticism and reactions <3 Also, this was inspired by these bts pics of Ewan cause ughghghg!!

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The streets of Coruscant were always buzzing, day or night, and whatever the weather. The only refuge one could find from its constant commotion was indoors, preferably on the upper levels, where the noise could be drowned out and the shades could be drawn. While not on the lowest level, Y/N had no such luxury, having to deal with the hustle and bustle no matter what she did. However, it was a small price to pay for leaving Corellia, which was beautiful, yet boring. It wasn't her fault that some of the best schools in the galaxy were located on Coruscant, or that their clubs were so good.

It was Zhellday, which meant Y/N had once again found herself in her and her friends usual club, which one of their fathers owned. It was the best mid-level bar in the region, and they got to drink for cheap, so they rarely went anywhere else. They sat around one of the many small seating areas away from the dance floor, nursing some early drinks and gazing around at the crowd. Ya'sami, a twi'lek who had come to Coruscant for the same reason as Y/N, quickly downed their drink, smiling at the group.

"Someone dance with me," they said, looking around at the group.

Ripp shook his head. "I'm not drunk enough." They all knew you had to get Ripp good and drunk if he was going to dance.

"Alright," Y/N said in an exaggeratedly annoyed tone, "If you insist."

"Finally!" Ya'sami laughed, "Its what we come for, is it not?"

Laughing, Ya'sami took Y/N's hand and led them to the dance floor. The music was annoyingly loud, but neither noticed, forgetting their loads of schoolwork and impending due-dates in favor of the drumming boom of sound. The music was different on Coruscant than it was on Corellia. While Corellia wasn’t known for its soft melody’s or brooding lyrics, Coruscant’s made it seem so. On Coruscant, music was meant for partying, and Y/N took it up on its enticing offer.

After a while, Y/N grew parched, and yelled to Ya'sami over the noise, "I'm going to the bar!" Ya'sami kept on dancing, now in their own little groove.

Y/N pushed through the thick crowd, bumping elbows but trying her best to be polite. She muscled her way to the front, finding a small empty space along the surface of the bar. She rested her elbows against it, waiting for the bartender, who knew her well, to come over. It would take a while, since it was peak hours on a Zhellday, but she didn't mind. It was nice to cool off, as she could feel her arms growing sticky with the heat of all the bodies pressed into one room.

The bartender came up to give the man beside her his drink, throwing her an apologetic look. "Sorry Y/N, I'm swamped, I'll be there in a minute."

"No problem," she said, smiling.

Just as the space opened up next to her, another came to take his place. She felt something rough brush against her arm, and glancing over, she caught a look at the unfairly attractive man next to her. She looked away quickly, smiling sheepishly to herself. Even as an adult, Y/N always felt like a schoolgirl around attractive people. Trying to act inconspicuous, she dared another glance. His hair was a reddish brown, cropped short and spiky around his face. His nose was straight and his brow was strong. As the colored lights danced against his face, she noticed a small dimple on his chin. Stars, was he cute. Furrowing her brows, Y/N first thought it strange to wear such an outfit at a club of all places. His robes were plain and loose upon his chest, his deep brown cloak draped over his shoulders and billowing down to the floor. Then, the realization hit her as her eyes honed in on the small braid cascading down his left shoulder.

Y/N looked away quickly, head reeling. She knew little about the Jedi, only what her friend from Coruscant had told her. "Very secretive," Ripp had said, "All any normal person really knows about them is their 'force' or whatever it is, and their light sabers. And, once when I was a kid, I heard one got kicked out because he was seeing a woman on the outside."

And, Y/N had found out one way or another, before they were Jedi Masters, they wore a long braid on the side of their head.

Nothing Y/N knew about them said they couldn't go to clubs on their nights off, or did they even get a night off? Even if they technically could, Y/N had never seen one casually grabbing a drink anywhere, or even heard about it. It seemed like something people would gossip about.

The bartender came wizzing around the corner. The man, or rather Jedi, beside Y/N stuck his hand out as he passed.

"I'm looking for someone named-" he began in a strong Coruscanti accent. The bartender only glanced his way.

"Sorry kid, I'm a little busy," he said before quickly walking away, carrying far too many drinks.

The Jedi huffed, hanging his head for a moment before looking back at the sea of people. Before Y/N even knew what she was doing, she turned to the handsome stranger.

"I might know who you're looking for."

He turned to her, eyes blue and bright, and she nearly gasped. Stars, she kept saying over and over in her head, stars, stars, stars.

He raised his eye brows at her, looking around for moment before turning back to her gaze. Her eyes bounced around, fearing he may be able to tell she fancied him just by looking at her.

"You might?" he asked, clearly surprised, though Y/N didn't know what exactly for. Was he shocked that she was listening to him, or that some random club-goer dared to speak to him, a Jedi-in-training. She couldn't think about it for too long, as he was waiting for an answer.

"Y-yeah," she stuttered, "I come here a lot, and my friends father owns the place."

He nodded, giving her a small smile, making her nerves build even more than they had before. She wasn't sure if it was because he was so handsome, or the fact that she knew he had a light saber stashed under his robes and lived in the big temple on the upper level.

"I'm looking for a Mirialan named Craz. He's said to spend some time here." He looked at her sternly, yet with a clam air about him. Y/N had expected him to be arrogant, someone of such importance. However, she had the feeling he was not at all, despite the authority he could so easily command. Although he was on the job, or so she assumed, he posture was relaxed and easy like his robes.

She shook her head, feeling guilty or taking up his time when she had no answers. He only looked slightly disappointed, a crease forming between his brows.

As he went to speak, Y/N interrupted, again without thinking. The thought of him leaving, without learning even so much as his name, made her want to prolong it as long as she could. She told herself it was curiosity, rather than hopeless attraction.

"My friends might know, though! Most of them have been living here longer than I have."

His eyes turned upwards in thought before he glanced around. He shrugged, smiling once again. "Thank you," he said, letting Y/N lead the way from the bar.

She could feel him following behind her, so close yet never touching. Weaving through the crowd, she looked back once to see if he was still there or had been lost amongst the people. He was, catching her looking and staring straight into her eyes. While he was not smiling, he seemed somewhat amused at her guilty glance. She realized it was foolish to think he, a Jedi, might have lost his way.

They made their way to her friends, most of which were still sitting at the spot where she left them. While a few had gone to dance, Ripp, whos father was the owner, was thankfully still there. If anyone would know who the man was, it would be him.

"Guys," she said, the man standing beside her, "this is..." She faltered.

"Obi-Wan," he said.

Ripp's eye went wide, and Y/N could feel her face heat up already. She should have known they'd freak out at the sight of her bringing along a Jedi.

Dani, who was sitting beside Ripp, began to giggle. Y/N rolled her eyes, knowing it was he was handsome.

"What brings a gentleman such as yourself into a place like this?" Ripp joked. Dani bit her lip, making Y/N want to crawl inside of herself. Obi-Wan either didn't notice Dani's shameless display or chose not to react. Rather, he chuckled at Ripp's joke.

"I am looking for a Mirilalan, Craz. I was told you may know where he is."

"Oh, I know Craz," Ripp answered, leaning back into the couch, "My father had to throw him out of here a few months ago and told him never to come back."

Obi-Wan put a hand on his chin in thought. "Do you know where he might be these days?"

Ripp shook his head, "No clue, sorry."

Obi-Wan huffed, placing a hand on his hip. In doing so, he revealed his light saber hanging from the leather belt along his waist. Y/N had never seen one up close, only catching glimpses on the holo. It's impressiveness did not escape her, nor did its elegance. For a moment she wondered if he would let her see it closer if she asked, though she promptly pushed this thought from her mind. Not only would it be rude, but she felt as if outside eyes on such a weapon could somehow tarnish its great power.

Besides the deadly force hanging from his belt, Obi-Wan appeared the more normal he had all night. His stance was even more relaxed than it had been before, as if he was just another club-goer waiting on a drink.

After a moment of thought, Obi-Wan spoke again, "Thank you for your help, and I apologize for taking so much of your time."

Y/N nearly laughed, for he had not taken more than a minute. She wondered if all Jedi were so polite. As he turned to leave, Ripp called after him, not hiding his excitement, "Nice meeting you, Obi-Wan!"

Obi-Wan turned and smirked, offering a courteous, "Likewise." before walking away.

As he disappeared into the crowd, Dani stared dreamily into the distance. "Ya'sami's going to be so mad when she hears about this! Stars, are all Jedi that cute?"

"He can probably still hear you," Ripp joked, making Dani go pink.

For the third time that evening, Y/N acted without thinking, all due to the handsome Jedi. Without responding to her friends, she turned and followed after Obi-Wan, trying to reach him in the crowd. He was hard to spot, but she caught him skirting around the dance floor, robe flowing behind. As she neared him, she shouted his name. He turned, not looking all that surprised. Perhaps he sensed me coming.

"Yes?" he asked, accent smooth and level, even through all the noise.

She hadn't thought of what she was going to say, and her heart began racing, threatening to burst from her chest. She had never acted on so many impulses in one night before, usually allowing herself a single bad decision and refraining from the rest. The common culprits were almost always benign, such as one too many drinks or dancing too close to a handsy guy. Never had she been so forward with someone who she knew, deep down, would never fall for her advances.

"I-I," she stuttered. Maker, get yourself together. "I feel bad, for not helping you more, taking up your time."

He did not laugh, but looked at her with a soft pity. "It's quite alright. Your friend provided me with important information. I will search elsewhere."

Elsewhere, not here, not with me.

"Well, let me at least buy you a drink," she offered, smiling. Seeing his reservations, she offered another excuse, "I get them half off anyway."

He thought for a moment, tilting his head slightly before meeting her eyes. Could Jedi even drink?

“Come on,” she pleaded, growing a bit desperate. Embarrassed by her own words, she attempted to backpedal a bit, “one for the road.”

"Alright, if you insist," he answered, looking towards the bar. They found a spot to wait, Obi-Wan resting an elbow against it and peering out across the room. Y/N angled towards him slightly, though kept a polite distance.

"I'm Y/N," she said, holding out her hand.

He took it, handshake far softer than she expected. She felt a spark run up her arm.

"Pleased to make your acquaintance, Y/N".

She loved the way her name sounded on his lips. She never was one to swoon over the Coruscanti accent, as she had run across many travelers with it on Corellia. There was just something about his voice, subtle but strong, serious on the edge of jest.

"Are you allowed to tell me what this Craz has done to warrant your search?" Y/N was half joking and half curious, especially since learning that Ripps father had thrown him out not too long ago.

"He's an important member of a crime syndicate that runs out of the lower levels, but they've been making their way up the city for some time now."

"Maker, I didn't know we got those kinds of characters in here." She truly was shocked, for she had only seen a few fights break out here, and never with blasters.

"You usually don't. It's easier to keep it contained if they don't spread levels, which is why I'm here."

The bartender interrupted them, looking a bit dazed due to his consent running around.

"Y/N," he said, and then looking towards Obi-Wan, "Sorry about before, Kid. What do you need?"

Obi-Wan replied before Y/N had the chance, "It's all taken care of."

The bartender looked pleased to not have to answer any questions on such a busy night. "So, what can I get you?"

"I'll have a phattro," Y/N began, "And you'll have.." she said, looking towards Obi-Wan.

"A corellian," he said, glancing towards her with a thankful nod.

"A phattro and a corellian," the bartender repeated before walking away to make the drinks.

Y/N smiled towards Obi-Wan. "A corellian," she said slyly. Obi-Wan gave her an amused look. "Thats where I'm from."

"A planet rich with history," he offered, for the first time seemingly genuinely intrigued.

"Yes, and a stagnant present," she chuckled dryly, "have you ever been there?"

He shook his head. "I have not had the pleasure."

"I'd say it is more of a pleasure that you haven't been there. It's excitements pale in comparison to Coruscant, unless you enjoy working long hours on ships."

For the first time, he fully laughed, rather than a reserved chuckle. His eyes shined in the lights, forcing Y/N to look away before her knees gave out.

"I'm not much for flying," said Obi-Wan, still looking at her, "My strong suits lay elsewhere."

"And where may that be?" She leaned in a bit closer to him, for a moment forgetting he was not just a man she met at the bar who happened to catch her eye. He did not move away or look displeased. In fact, he appeared amused.

"Conversation," he answered simply.

The bartender came over with their drinks.

“Put it on my tab,” she said to the bartender, who nodded and walked off.

Y/N watched as Obi-Wan took a sip of his, emptying half of the small glass.

"Then I shall test your abilities," she said, smirking as she lead him away from the bar and into the crowd. They stood amongst the others for a moment, now closer than they had been to each other all night. Once again, his cloak pressed against her shoulder, though she now felt his arm beneath it. She tried to hide her childish joy at the barely-there connection, taking a sip of her drink.

It was a bit louder now that they moved farther into the thick of things. Obi-Wan was forced to lean closer to her ear as he spoke, "Did you come to Coruscant only for the excitements?"

She couldn't help but laugh, "No, I go to the university. The night life is only a bonus."

"What are your studies in?" he asked, surprising Y/N for the umptenth time. She hadn't expected him to be interested in her life.

"Intergalatic relations. I hope to work for senatorial office one day."

He smiled brightly. Stars, he had a lovely smile.

"An honorable profession."

She could feel his eyes on her as he spoke, swearing she could catch him daring a look at her outfit, which was far more flashy than she would wear in her day-to-day life. Rather than feeling embarrassed, she thanked herself for putting so much thought in her partying appearance, which Ya'sami had said was totally smokin'. At the time she had brushed it off, laughing, though now she realized Ya'sami may have been right.

"Not as honorable as yours," she chuckled nervously. It was the first time either of them had hinted at him being a Jedi, and she soon feared that it would scare him away. While he did not seem to be easily frightened, rather on the contrary, she did not know if he was bending any rules to have a drink with her.

He looked away, seeming to remember his place for a moment. To Y/N's delight, he turned back quickly.

"We all have our place," he offered, "Without the senatorial office, who knows what would have become of me."

Boldly, Y/N began to push the boundaries of whatever this was. "I'm sure you would've done great things either way. I can't imagine you back home in the shipyards."

"Without the Corellian shipyards, where would the senate procure their greatest ships?" His question came off not as defensive, or even as if he was trying to steer the conversation away from himself. Rather, Y/N had the feeling she had genuinely engaged him in an interesting topic of conversation. She tried not to let her chest swell with a strange sort of pride.

"I have to say, your respect for my home world surprises me, especially due to their exceedingly cold attitude towards the Senate."

He laughed, making Y/N wonder how she could make him do it again. She wanted to listen to him laugh all night.

"I am starting to see why you left."

"Perhaps you are coddled by the comforts of Coruscant. Though I'd think that you've traveled to your fair share of systems." She took a sip of her drink, watching him from the corner of her eye. A pink light shined against the back of his head, highlighting his spiky hair.

"It's one of the perks," he said before finishing the rest of his drink. Fuck, he'll probably leave now.

Thankfully, he kept talking, "Though you often do not get the chance to sight-see."

"What a shame." She sincerely felt sorry for Obi-Wan, realizing that he likely didn't get out much. Perhaps thats why he allowed her to buy him a drink, why he so thoughtfully indulged her wishes to entertain him, even for a few minutes.

As she thought on this more, she pondered the possibility that he had never been taken around Coruscant, shown the touristy landmarks that everyone visits when they first arrive. Likely he had been all around the city, though it was probably for work with the inability to stop and take it all in. All at once, she had the ludicrous, irresponsible idea of taking his hand and dragging him around to all the sights that enthrall the thousands of tourists that flood the streets everyday.

"I assume you've seen the sights of Coruscant?" she asked shyly, internally pleading that he would say no.

He shook his head and she forced herself to not jump for joy. "Only in passing, though I know my way around the lower levels quite well. But I do not think that is what you meant," he chuckled.

All too eagerly, she spoke in excitement, "Well, how much time do you have?"

He sighed, looking weary. She could tell he was going over the time in his head, thinking about going along with her across the city, and about whoever was waiting for him back at the temple.

"I really shouldn't..." he said, mostly to himself. A smile began to form at the corner of his mouth.

"Come on," she pried, grinning up at him, "It'll only take a little while. Just call it a much needed break." In an act of flirtatious desperation, she held out her hand for him to take. Looking down at it, then up to her, he placed his hand in hers, smiling.

She quickly began leading, or rather pulling him towards the exit of the club. As they passed a small table, they each half hazzardly placed their drink down. For a moment she remembered she was here with friends, who were likely wondering where she was, though she hadn't the mind to care. Caught up in the temptation of spending the evening with Obi-Wan, with whom she had grown more and more enthralled with, Y/N giddily pushed the heavy doors to walk out into the cool city night. Now outside, the music was muffled, yet the bass was still heavy in the air. Despite the crisp temperature, Y/N's body was still warm with the heat of the club, and with the feeling of Obi-Wan's hand clasped in hers. She turned back to look at him, who was a bit more collected than herself, but still more carefree than he had been in the club. Perhaps he wasn’t used to suck loud music, or being surrounded by drunk patrons looking to dance. Slowly and to her glee, she could tell he was forgetting the original purpose of his visit.

"So, do you have a preference to where we got first, or I shall I choose?" she asked.

Obi-Wan answered quickly, "You choose."

"To the Plaza then," she said, beginning to walk down the crowded street. Hands still in one anothers, she lead Obi-Wan down the enclosed street towards an opening to the roadway. They each looked out across the wide space filled with cruisers and neon lights on the side of the skyscrapers. Billboards flashed bright images which reflected upon the fast moving cruises, pictures clear against the long transports. Openings in the platforms above revealed the deep black of the night sky, which did not shine with stars.

"Its the one thing I miss about Corellia," she began, staring up at the sky, "The stars."

Obi-Wan looked up and then back at her, though she did not notice, too busy imagining what night looked like on Corellia.

"I remember the first time I saw them," he said with a sigh. Y/N turned towards him, gently holding his hand a bit tighter. "It was on Noe'ha'on. Before then I had only seen them in ships, or briefly on the holo."

For the second time, Y/N felt sorry for Obi-Wan. She almost made herself laugh at the thought of feeling sorry for a Jedi.

He began again, "It was if I was seeing them for the first time. I could not imagine anything in the galaxy more beautiful."

They were staring at each other now, and Y/N felt her heart begin beating faster. She wished he was talking about her and not to her. For an instant, she thought about saying no, you're the most beautiful thing in the galaxy. Then, fear struck her. Could he hear what she was thinking?

"You must see them a lot now, going place to place."

"Yes, but they deserve a moment of peace which does not often find itself on missions.” He seemed to grow lost in thought, and Y/N enjoyed simply watching him think for a moment.

"When I was a little girl,” she said, breaking the silence, “I would sit and look at them for hours. In the winter, if you were lucky, sometimes you could catch aurora borealis." She began to think about showing Obi-Wan the show of lights that would grace the Corellian skies.

He smiled at her words. "I have seen that too, though only once. That was long ago."

"Its too bad I can't show you that tonight," she said with a sad smile, "though I will keep my promise and show you what the travelers come for!" Her excitement returned, and she turned to hail a taxi. One came wizzing by and to an abrupt stop in front of them. The door slid open, and Y/N was forced to let go of Obi-Wan's hand. She mourned the loss of his touch, which she did not expect she would receive again. The excuse to take his hand was all but gone, so she settle for sitting next to him.

The droid asked them their destination, with Y/N answering in the calmest manner she could muster. She thought it wise to hide her elation at his company, attempting to present an air of coolness that would likely fail. Obi-Wan had not yet recoiled fully at her advances of friendship, which she was thankful for.

Y/N looked out the window of the taxi, watching as it climbed through the air towards the upper levels. She had been on Coruscant for a year now, but the foreign beauty of the city was not yet lost on her. Obi-Wan watched her expression of wonder at the sights, which she was meant to be showing him. He chuckled at her childlike enrapture, making her turn to him with a confused look.

"Are you making fun of me?" she asked in amusement. He seemed a bit horrified at the thought of offending her.

"Oh, no, I-"

She cut him off with laughter., “I'm only teasing."

He visibly relaxed at her words, his smiling returning.

"I still can't get over the sight of the city at night," she explained, "I lived a ways off from any city on Corellia. I'm not entirely used to it yet, though I'm not sure I want to be."

"Wonder is a great gift," his voice was tender, much softer than before, "most loose it as they grow."

Her chest warmed at his words, feeling fuzzy. She had never met anyone like Obi-Wan, and not just because he was a Jedi. His poise came off not as a cockiness, but rather comfortably dignified. She did not get the impression that he thought her below him, even though she met him as he was on some important work and she was blowing off steam at a club. They way he took her hand so easily, the way he allowed her to take him away in a taxi, and the way in which he complimented a trait of hers she often felt insecure about; her ceaseless wonder at the world around her, made her feel as though she could tell him anything. She fought the urge to tell him just that, that she felt as though she could tell him anything. Don't scare him away.

"You're very kind," she said instead, feeling as if it was somewhat comparable to her true thoughts.

He smiled softly. Y/N reasoned that he smiled at everyone that way.

"Kindness is also a virtue, though I do not lie. It would do many good if they had a bit more wonder left in them." He seemed serious, and under any other circumstance, Y/N would have expected him to reach out and touch her. Stars, did she want him to, though she knew he would not.

"They say it's a Corellian thing, we've always got an itch."

He pondered her words before speaking. Y/N noted that he always spoke carefully and with purpose.

"Can you truly assign a trait to an entire planet?" he asked with a chuckle.

She knew she wasn't meant to answer, but she shrugged anyhow, deciding to tease him. "Lets see. Where are you from?"

"Well, I'd normally say I was from Coruscant, though I was not born here. I was born on Stewjon." She sensed something stir within him. Perhaps she should not have asked where he was from. Y/N did not know how the Jedi got to the temple, if their parents were also Jedi who lived in the temple, or if they were normal people. Her understanding of the force of elementary at best, having no clue if it was hereditary or something which just occurred. All she knew was Ripp's words, I heard one got kicked out because he was seeing a woman on the outside. Did they mean they could date on the inside, or not at all? Either way, she knew she had little to no chance of catching his eye.

Before she was fully caught up in her thoughts, she folded, "Hm, you've seemed to beat me. I know almost nothing about Stewjon."

He smirked, looking quite proud of himself, though Y/N knew it was just an act.

"I thought you said you were a intergalatic relations student?" he taunted. She flashed him a glare, though a smile played on her lips.

"It's impossible to know things about every system. Though, if you'd like to test me, ask me about someplace else." An impish glimmer shined in her eyes.

Obi-Wan thought for a moment, placing a hand on his chin.

"Hm, what about Kerev Doi?"

"Kerev Doi," she repeated slowly, searching her mind, "Located along the Nanth'ri Trade Route, it is home to Bodach'i. It's economy is mainly dependent on its spice mining, though it is aided by the various crime syndicates which have their hands in a variety of different enterprises across the planet, which I am sure you must be well aware of," she answered proudly, holding her head up high, "Would you like more?"

He raised his brows, chuckling at her manner. "No, you have proven yourself a fine student."

She giggled, catching herself smirking at him in a not so friendly manner. Darting her eyes away, she cleared her throat, "Thank you."

The taxi came to a rushing stop, with the droid announcing they have arrived at their location. Y/N reached into her bag for credits, but Obi-Wan beat her to it, pulling some out of his robes.

"Allow me," he said in passing, handing over the credits and stepping out onto the platform. Butterflies erupted in her stomach at the simple gesture, even more so when Obi-Wan leaned over and offered his hand to her as she stepped out.

"Thanks," she said, trying to hide her smile. He only nodded at her, turning to look at the Plaza. It was even busier than the streets outside of the club, though the people were far more diverse. Visitors of all ages crowded around the street vendors, many others lazily strolling around the open space. A few long lines of people were gathered outside of restaurants, others coming in and out of the shops.

"I've never been here at night," Obi-Wan said, a bit breathless, "and I have never gotten the chance to look around."

It was the first time that night that Obi-Wan seemed to be the one mesmerized and not Y/N. The change gave her a hope that she knew she shouldn't have, though she let it lead her anyway. She instinctually looped her arm through his and began walking into the Plaza. Obi-Wan looked down at their linked arms but did not comment, nor pull away.

They strolled through the Plaza at a leisurely pace, each gazing around at nothing in particular. Y/N stopped them in front of a restaurant, which emitted soft music from its closed doors.

"Have you ever been to this one," she asked, pointing at the restaurant.

He shook his head.

"Me either. Ripp says its been here practically forever, but you need to make reservations a year in advance," she laughed, "I also heard it's wildly expensive."

"I've been to a few fancy banquets," he began as they started walking again, "but I personally feel they're overrated."

"Well, thats good for me," she joked, wondering where he would have found himself at a banquet.

"If I am being honest, I have found the best food is often not found in such places. You have to go to the seedy parts of town," he chuckled, gazing at her as if she was an old friend.

She laughed along with him, feeling whatever tension she was once experiencing wash away. She had all but forgotten her promise not to scare him away, giving into her desire to speak with him as if he weren't a Jedi.

They began walking down one side of the Plaza, stopping to look in the window of a shop. The display was filled with items of all sorts; jewelry, beautiful glass blown bowls and vessels, and at its center a metal sculpture.

“There’s a sculpture like that on Mandalore,” he said, pointing to it.

“You’ve been to Mandalore?” She asked excitedly. He nodded. “Tell me what it’s like.”

He paused to collect his words, each still looking at the sculpture in the window. “It is quite unique, the architecture is magnificent, unlike anything in the galaxy that I’ve had the chance to see.” He turned to her. “There’s more metal than you’ve ever seen, everywhere you turn it is there, towering above and below. Thats another system with a rich history, though I am sure you know all about it.”

“Yes, it is fascinating,” was all she could muster at the moment, imagining it. “I’d love to visit one day.”

“If you work for the Senate, I’m sure you will find yourself in many different places.”

“Yes, well, I’m still taking in Coruscant," she said with a sigh.

They strolled along, chatting as they went, with Y/N asking most of the questions. She learned of some of the places Obi-Wan has been over the years, though did not pry into why he was there. She knew it was likely on Jedi business, assuming that such things should be kept secret, or least not told out in the open. At the sight of a display of dresses, Y/N began telling him about a festival on her home world.

“It happens every spring, there’s a big band on this stage in the center of town, with ships flying overhead. The streets are decorated with banners and flowers. Stars, it’s beautiful. There’s dancers as well. One year, not too long ago, I danced. It took months of practice, and when we all walked into the streets I thought that I might faint. We wore dresses just like that,” she spoke animatedly, recalling the joy she had felt at the festival, one of the only times she did not find living on Corellia boring. Obi-Wan listened to her intently, holding on the every word as he pictured her description.

“I would have liked to see that,” he said with a wide smile.

“I’m sure you can make an excuse to see it one day,” she replied, though he shook his head with a laugh.

“No, I meant that I would have liked to see you.”

Y/N felt her face warm, and too embarrassed to look at him, cast her eyes downward. They began walking once again, this time with her leading him towards the center of the Plaza. They soon neared Umate, and at the sight of the mountain peak, Y/N pointed.

"Look!" she said, pulling him towards the protruding rock. As they came towards it, she looked over to Obi-Wan. "You must have seen the peak before."

He stared at the tip of the mountain, deep in thought. The warm glow of the street lamps showed the contours and ridges on its surface. Every time Y/N saw it, she couldn't help but picture the vast surface which lay beneath the platform, all the way down to the planets surface.

Almost whispering, he answered, "Only in passing."

They each stood gazing at the peak, Obi-Wan spoke seemingly to himself, "The only uncovered surface."

Arms still linked, Y/N slowly inched her hand up without realizing what she was doing, softly gripping his arm. She felt Obi-Wan tense, and at the realization of what she was doing, she quickly dropped her hand, though did not drop her arm from his completely. Neither said a word, and Y/N feared she had shattered their bubble. Now you've done it.

As she kicked herself, Obi-Wan looked past the peak and towards a vendor. He turned to her, and if Y/N hadn't known better, she'd think he looked nervous.

"Y/N?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"Yes?" she said, a bit surprised and wondering if he was going to say he had to leave, that she had shown him enough.

On the contrary, his eyes looked back towards the vendor. "I have to admit something."

Intrigued, her confused expression turned into a smile. "What?"

"I've never had a popsicle, and I was wondering if we could-"

Before he could finish, Y/N grinned and began pulling him in the direction of the vendor. Obi-Wan began to laugh, making her chuckle along with him.

"This is the kind of initiative I like to see!" she joked, leading them to stand in line.

"My masters going to kill me." His tone was light hearted enough, though Y/N got the sense he wasn't entirely joking. However, in the moment, he seemed receptive, so she allowed herself to ask him a question.

"You master?"

His gaze met hers before she glanced at his braid which was now thrown behind his shoulder. She longed to run her hands down it and ask him why all young Jedi had one.

"Yes, all Padawans are paired with a Master until they become Knights," he explained, eyes dancing across her face.

"Padawan, knight," she repeated, then laughed to herself, "you're making me realize there are a million things I do not know."

"I am sure you know more than me about many things," his voice was soft and tender as it was before in the taxi. She felt herself begin to melt.

She shook her head. "I don't think so," she paused, "At least not about many things."

"Seeing is not knowing," Obi-Wan commented, head turning to peer at his surroundings. "I am not yet a knight, and there are many things I have not come to learn."

"The we are the same, I am still a student myself," she retorted. Obi-Wan seemed to have been defeated, not saying anything further on the subject. In his silence, she wondered how a Jedi could never think she, a simple student at the university, could possibly know more than him about anything. In comparison, she had been almost nowhere, seen almost nothing. One of the only things she had an upper hand on was knowing how much rent cost in Coruscant, or possibly what a good deal on a ship was due to her childhood spent among the shipyards.

They had now moved to the front of the line, the vendor asking what flavors they'd like. Obi-Wan looked to her, unable to answer. Y/N ordered for them each, paying before Obi-Wan had the chance.

"My treat this time," she said to him with a small smile. He looked at her thankfully, taking his popsicle.

As they began eating, Y/N lead them to a bench. Their arms came a part as they sat, making her sigh. She hoped Obi-Wan had taken it for contentment, rather than disappointment.

"So," she said between licks, "Is this not the best night of your life?"

Obi-Wan chuckled. I did that, she thought.

"Its in the running." His smile had not ceased, much to Y/N's delight.

They ate their popsicles in mostly silence, with Y/N pointing to a few other shops, telling Obi-Wan about what was inside. A bit of Obi-Wan's began to run down his hand, making each of them laugh. For a moment it felt as though they were both normal people, both simply club-goers who happened to cross paths. After they both had finished, Y/N smiled at him, then nodded to the waste basket a ways away.

"Think you can make it in?" She asked, head cocked. Even though she didn't know squat about the force, she figured making a stick into a waist basket was likely child's play to him.

He gave her a devilish look, and smiling, placed a hand over his eyes. Then, he threw the stick, which expertly landed in the center of the basket. Removing his hand, he grinned.

"Lucky shot," she challenged, holding out her stick for him to take. He did so happily, doing the same thing again and wielding the same result.

Rolling her eyes at him, Y/N decided to be bold. "Does your master usually send you out alone?"

"It is unusual, though it depends on the mission. Searching for a criminal, especially without a set location, can be done alone."

The freeness to which he answered the question gave Y/N the hope that she may have the opportunity to ask more about him, though she did not want to overdo it.

"My life must seem boring in comparison." She retreated inwards for a moment, all too aware of how he might see her, as just some random student.

"I long for boredom," he said, not seeming to be joking. Y/N gave him an odd look, making him smile. "Tell me about the university. What is it like?"

She felt her face heat at the thought of him caring about her life, what she did. How could she make anything interesting to him? Even to her it was often dull.

"It was quite scary at first, leaving home and coming to a place like this," she paused, thinking his question over, "But it's interesting, learning about all the different star systems, the politics, how the Republic is structured. It all felt so little at home, even with all the travelers that would come in and out of the ports. Now it's as if I'm in the thick of everything all at once. I could spend hours in the University archives, reading about all these little planets and moons that I didn't even know existed."

Lost in her rambling, she did not catch the twitch in Obi-Wan's hand, nor the fascination on his face.

"You'd love the archives at the Temple," he said, turning away to look at the Plaza. Y/N kept her eyes on his profile, which she wanted to keep in her memory as long as she could.

"I can only imagine," she said with a soft breath, "You could never get me to leave."

He looked back to her. "I wish I could bring you there, in repayment for tonight."

She smirked, biting her lip before she could stop herself. Obi-Wan stayed where he was, head now angled towards hers.

"No, your company is enough," she replied sweetly, the urge to reach out her hand and touch his shoulder almost too much to resist.

“I have always appreciated the city for its beauty, for the energy which permeates its every corner. Yet, I have never seen it in this light.”

Obi-Wan sighed, eyes softening. Under the lights of the Plaza, they look dazzlingly blue, reminding her of the ocean back home. After an entire night of stopping herself from saying something foolish, Y/N gave in fully, throwing all caution and embressment to the wind.

"Your eyes," she whispered, forgetting about the people passing by and the chatter of their voices, "they're just like the oceans on Corellia. Clear, like aquamarine."

Obi-Wan breathed in sharply, staring at her with a clipped intensity, as if he was holding himself back. His robes, loose around his chest, billowed as his shoulders relaxed, revealing a sliver of his golden skin. Obi-Wan did not speak, eyes darting across her face. Slowly and with great care, Y/N lifted her hand and placed it on his shoulder as she had wanted to before. It inched towards the hood of his robe, all the while Obi-Wan allowed her to do so, making no move to stop it. Her nerves went wild, shooting bursts of warmth all through her, up her arms and down her spine. With a final press into the rough texture of his robes, she reached up towards his face, brushing his cheek with the backs of her fingers. Obi-Wan shuttered, so slightly that Y/N would have missed it if she hadn't have been fully taking him in, absorbed in his presence.

Breaking her from her trance, Obi-Wan reached for her hand, taking it in his. He brought it down to his chest, cradling it softly.

"Y/N..." he began, rubbing his thumb along the back of her hand.

"I know," she said, not waiting for him to finish.

He sighed deeply, dropping his head and looking at her hand within his, still moving his thumb back and forth. His expression was blank, though a crease formed between his brows. Just like before, she thought.

While much of Obi-Wan was still a mystery, she knew he was overthinking every step he had made that night, her hand in his, arms linked, the fast beating of their hearts. She longed to stop his train of thought, to tell him that it was all okay, that this was far from bad. Out of pure instinct and selfish desire, she leaned down to catch his eyes. Below his face, she stared up at him, who for the first time that night appeared entirely unsure of himself. While he had seemed weary before, never was he so lost, completely out of his element. His inner turmoil played out within his eyes, though as she looked into them, the more he seemed to bend. She glanced at his lips, which were slightly parted, sucking in a breath as she slowly moved forward. Giving him time to pull away, to jump back and send her off, she placed the hand that was not in his on his opposite shoulder. With Obi-Wan's head still tilted forward, their lips softly met.

Her heart fluttered even though neither of them moved. The touch of his lips against hers was impossibly delicate, as if it was the first time she had ever kissed someone. She feared that deepening the kiss or moving an inch would scare him away, but was still content with its simplicity. Obi-Wan released her hand, moving to cup her cheek. Smiling into the kiss, she took as an innovation to go further. She opened her mouth, pressing harder into him. He responded slowly, yet did not pull away. Rather, he leaned in as well, allowing her to carefully run her tongue along his lower lip. Sighing deeply, he moved away, though not far. Y/N could feel his warm breath upon her, and she smiled sheepishly.

Their eyes met, and Obi-Wan began to stroke her face with his thumb as he had done with her hand. She fisted the robes which lay across his shoulder, body moving towards his.

The guilt then came upon her, flooding her with a unique shame. She looked into his eyes and spoke softly, "I'm sorry, I-" she faltered. Obi-Wan's expression changed to that of sadness, or perhaps pity.

"It is my fault," his voice was thin, as if it were spread taut. Y/N placed both her hands on his face, letting her head fall against his chest. For a moment Obi-Wan did nothing but keep his hand where it was on her cheek, though soon brought her face back up to at his. "There is a code," he whispered, "It is my duty to keep to it. I should not have allowed myself such an indulgence."

All this time Y/N had thought he was indulging her, and his admission causing a pang within her heart. Her hands dropped from his face.

"But I should not have done that," she said with full sincerity.

He smiled sadly, studying her face which was still in his hands. He brushed the backs of his fingers across it again.

"I have never," he paused, sighing to himself, "You are lovely, Y/N, and you have given me a great gift,” he stopped, pressing his lips together tightly as if to keep himself from speaking further. With another shaky exhale, he dropped his eyes from hers.

"I have never met anyone like you," she said, hoping he knew what she meant. It was not that she had never met a Jedi. No, she had simply never met a man, or person like himself.

"Likewise," he answered, chuckling dryly, looking back into her eyes.

They both sat for a moment looking at one another, not saying a word. Y/N hoped to prolong his departure as much as she could, feeling it coming upon them far faster than she would have liked. She studied the shape of his kind eyes, his strong chin, his lips which were now stern. The desire to memorize him was given into greedily, just as she had given into their kiss. It was almost gluttonous, the way she took in the last remaining drops of his presence. Don’t forget his eyes, don’t forget his words, don’t forget our kiss.

She nearly stopped herself from speaking, though reasoned that it was no use now. She had already shown him all he could know. "I wish it were different," her voice barely cracked, though she knew he noticed.

"As do I." He dropped his gaze again, and they each sat quietly for a while, how long Y/N could not tell. It could have been ten seconds or ten hours before he spoke again, "I must go," his voice trailed off.

Y/N moved away from him as he stood, already missing their closeness. He stared out across the Plaza for a long moment before turning back to her, who was watching him, thinking about his braid. “Let me see that you return safely,” he offered. Y/N shook her head.

“I have plenty of credits for a taxi,” she replied, still feeling a bit dazed from their kiss.

“Are you sure?” He asked, seeming quite concerned. If she wasn’t so forlorn, she would have laughed.

“Yes, I’m sure. I’m used to getting home at night.”

Looking somewhat disappointed in her stubbornness, Obi-Wan leaned down and kissed her temple, holding his lips there a for a moment longer than she had expected.

Half to herself, Y/N spoke out into the night at no one in particular, “I’ll never see you again, will I?”

Again, Obi-Wan smiled down at her. “Perhaps one day.”

Then, Obi-Wan walked away into the crowd. Y/N soon lost him amongst the rest of the people, a strange feeling stirring in her stomach. She didn’t expect to ever meet anyone like him ever again, Jedi or not. Though, there was always the hope that one day, they may cross paths again.

#obi wan x reader #obi wan/reader #star wars fluff #padawan!obi wan #star wars x reader #star wars imagine #obi wan kenobi #Obi Wan Kenobi/reader #obi wan kenobi x reader #star wars prequels #star wars fanfiction #obi wan fanfiction

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clu-ven · 1 year

Text

“Your lips, against mine. Boom. Kiss” Prompt with Jesse

word count: 3.1k

summary: At this point, Jesse is willing to try any cheesy pick up line in the hopes you’ll reciprocate his feelings.

tags: plenty of bad pick up lines, a make out session and discussions surrounding relationships/friends with benefits situations

! some small details might not be canon compliant (oops) !

“Ok, ok, ok, I got another one”.

At this point, you don’t even need to turn around, already well aware of who’s approaching you. After all, this is his fourth time coming over, wandering from his section of the Resolute’s training facility to yours.

“Aren’t you supposed to be learning some disarming techniques?” you sigh, having overheard some of the other 501st troopers talking about it upon entering.

Jesse shrugs in response “Yeah, I think I know what I’m doing when it comes to disarming clankers”. Crossing his arms, he leans on the table you’re working at, watching you methodically clean the blaster you were just practising with.

“So… you wanna hear it?” he asks, wiggling his eyebrows at you.

You know he won’t leave until you say yes. It’s as if Jesse takes pleasure in pestering you with terrible pick up lines, something you’re sure is a joke among him and some of his brothers.

There was a point in which you wondered if he was serious and genuinely trying to flirt with you but you were quick to brush off that idea, knowing Jesse is a man who prefers to simply have some fun when he can.

“Fine,” you huff in feigned annoyance, putting down the blaster and giving Jesse your full attention. He gulps, your bored expression making his hands clammy.

“Ok but this is one Fives told me,” he warns “so if it’s bad, you can’t blame me”.

You reply in the form of a raised eyebrow, waiting for him to just spit it out already.

Kriff, do you even know how intimidating you look like this? Jesse is sure you do and that you’re doing it on purpose, a hard lump forming in his throat the longer you stare at him. A mixture of excitement and apprehension tugs at his gut, his adrenaline urging him to say his secondhand pick up line.

Clearing his throat, Jesse puts on his best smouldering look “Hey, I’m the Azure Angel but you might know me best as the General’s ship”.

Without thinking, you crease your brow, confusion clouding your train of thought. Azure Angel? As in Anakin’s starfighter, the one he somehow destroyed months ago? Though, knowing the General, it’s safe to presume he probably crashed it.

Keeping his expression as charming as he can, Jesse continues “And I was wondering, can I crash at your place tonight?”.

Oh.

Your expression doesn’t falter. “Right… well, that’s definitely a new one” you slowly nod your head, trying your best to digest his flirting skills.

Honestly, you’ve seen better from Jesse. In fact right at the beginning of his escapade to sweep you off your feet, he actually made you blush with his provocative flirting style.

He started out hot and heavy, using his filthiest yet downright lustrous pick up lines back then but you never gave in… and now the poor trooper is scraping the bottom of the barrel, using any cheesy pick up line in the hopes of wooing you.

It’s not that you don’t want to be with Jesse. It’s the opposite actually. If you were sure that Jesse is into you then you’d reciprocate his feelings, but that’s the problem, you’re not sure.

There’s still a piece of you that wonders if this is a game, some kind of bet he has with the others. Or what if Jesse only wants some kind of one night stand? Or a ‘friends with benefits’ kind of predicament, something with no strings attached?

Being completely honest with yourself, you don’t think you could fall into a no strings attached arrangement, not when you already feel so connected to him. Yes, you’ve convinced yourself that having no romantic relationship with Jesse is better than one where you get too attached to him. It’s the most logical option… right?

Jesse sighs, bringing you out of your thoughts “Yeah, it’s a bad one… but not mine! That one is all Fives”. You try not to smile at his urgency to deflect the terrible pick up line, knowing that Jesse would have taken full credit for it if you instead showed any sign of liking it.

“Oh so I should be continuing this conversation with Fives?” you tease, suddenly perking up “Since it’s his pick up line?”. Straightening your posture, you glance over at the other troopers.

It’s not a surprise when you see a group of them staring back, the usual bunch, all suddenly looking at the floor or ceiling the second they see you peer over.

“What?” Jesse’s eyes go wide, his gaze following yours “Why? I thought you didn’t like it?”.

You shrug, keeping your eyes on the others as you blatantly lie “It’s pretty witty… it makes sense that you got that one from Fives, he’s always been the funny one”.

“I can be funny,” Jesse instantly blurts out, not even registering the words himself as he continues “definitely more funny than Fives”.

At the mention of his name, Fives looks over. Although you know he’s trying his best to be subtle, he gives Jesse two thumbs up and a big grin. All Jesse gives him in return is a scowl, which leads to Fives quickly looking away again and whispering something to Echo as he shuffles to the back of the crowd and out of sight.

“Yep, definitely the funny one,” you repeat, trying to contain your smile when you see Jesse clench his jaw “but I wouldn’t say he’s the charming one”. As much as you love to tease Jesse, you don’t want to overdo it.

“Charming one?” at the sliver of hope you give him, Jesse’s face lights up, his attention solely focused on you as he continues “Who’s the charming one?”.

“Can’t say” you continue to tease him, not bothering to hide your smirk anymore.

“Why not?” he smiles, leaning closer to you “is it because you’re looking at him? Huh? You getting all shy now?”.

Damn this man. Shrugging again, you look away from him and back at the blaster in front of you. “You are!” He exclaims, moving his head down to get a better look at your face “Aw, are you getting flustered in front of the man of your dreams?”.

You involuntarily laugh at that, finding the amount of confidence this one man can have utterly shocking at times. Jesse chuckles too, revelling in the fact he can make you laugh.

He opens his mouth to speak again but before he can get the words out, someone calls out his name. “Jesse!” you both look over, slightly grimacing when you see an annoyed Captain Rex has appeared “Over here, now”.

“Duty calls,” Jesse sighs, standing up straight at the order from his Captain “see you later?”.

You decide to stay vague “We’ll see”.

Jesse smiles at your ambiguity, appreciating how you like to keep him on his toes. With one last nod, he turns and jogs back to the others. You glance over your shoulder as he does, a tight yet strangely pleasant feeling in your chest. Damn his charm… and his nice butt.

***

Later turns out to be two rotations, which feels too long for you. You hoped you’d run into Jesse a few hours after your previous interaction or perhaps in the mesh hall early the next morning. But unfortunately, since you both have busy schedules, it takes two very long rotations for your paths to cross again.

You’re not sure what time it is, too early for any trooper to be waking up but too late for you to get a proper night’s sleep. Despite feeling more at home practising your fighting skills or strategizing the Republic’s next battle plan, you spent the rotation filling out an array of paperwork which has kept you busy well into the night.

Since a good night’s sleep is out of the question, you’ve found yourself in the mesh hall, devouring either last night’s dinner or an early serving of this morning’s breakfast. Your internal clock is haywire, unable to decipher which timely meal this is supposed to be.

“There is no way you’re eating that” just as you spoon another heap of food into your mouth, Jesse comes into view, watching in awe. With your mouth full, all you can give in response is a questioning look, your eyebrows coming together as you tilt your head up at him.

“Mesh’la, you should be wined and dined in the snobbiest restaurants of Coruscant,” he flatters you, planting both of his hands on the table as he clambers into the seat across from you “not forced to live on rations bars and whatever gruel that is”.

Once you swallow the so-called gruel, you reply “And do you have the credits to take me to some fancy, high and mighty Coruscant restaurant?”.

Despite it being (presumably) the middle of the night, Jesse’s smile radiates a burst of energy. “Oh so when you imagine yourself at some nice restaurant, you picture me there with you? …And me paying?!”. He scoffs after adding in that last question, pretending to be baffled.

You roll your eyes, too busy taking another bite of the food to reply.

Resting his head in his hands, Jesse watches you with content fascination. “Actually, do you know what’s always on the menu at those fancy restaurants?” he asks, his smile unwavering.

For a moment, you think, unsure whether this is some ploy or if Jesse is being serious. Giving in, you walk right into his trap “What?”.

“Me ‘n you” he replies with a wink.

Dammit. Luckily for Jesse, you’re too tired to make a big deal out of it, the long rotation finally catching up with you. With your eyelids feeling heavy, your face says it all.

Jesse chuckles at your reaction, deciding to push his luck as he asks “Was that a good one?”.

With the shake of your head, you reply “Just as cheesy as the rest”.

Surprisingly, this seems to be a revelation for Jesse. Running his hand along that pristine jawline of his, he questions “They’re… cheesy? All of them? Cause I’m pretty sure I used a few smooth ones at the start of all of this”.

Finishing the rest of your food, you stifle a laugh “What, do the ladies at 79’s not tell you how cheesy your flirting is?”.

He replies with an amused scoff “I don’t think they care to be honest”.

Taking in this new yet frustratingly vague intel, you involuntarily lean forward “And what’s that supposed to mean?”.

Never one to miss an opportunity, Jesse leans forward too, not close enough to invade your personal space but enough for you to notice his 5 o’clock shadow and the way his eyes study you. “I’ll tell you…” he trails off for dramatic effect “if you leave me walk you back to your quarters”.

You roll your eyes at the request but accept it nonetheless “Fine but if you think you’re entering my quarters then you have another thing coming” .

Practically jumping up from the table, Jesse offers you his hand. “That’s fine by me, just an escort back to your room and nothing more” he confirms. Grabbing the empty container you were eating out of with one hand, you use the other to accept Jesse’s act of chivalry.

Jesse waits until you’ve binned the container and are walking down the quiet corridors of the ship before elaborating on what he said earlier.

Noticing your expectant look, he begins “Alright, alright… I just meant that at 79’s, the ladies are usually there for a reason, y’know? I don’t think a lot of them would be spending their night at a clone bar if it wasn’t for the cheap drinks and some quick fun”.

He keeps his eyes on the corridor, only sparing you a glance. While Jesse tends to act like topics such as this are his forte, he’s never had to discuss this with someone he’s attracted to. It makes his chest tighten, the same question whirling around his brain as he tries to decipher whether he’s explained it in a fair way or if he’s coming across like an arrogant jackass.

Your lack of response doesn’t help, his worries only intensifying when you don’t quip back a teasing reply. The only noise is his footsteps in sync with yours, getting closer and closer to your quarters. Jesse opens his mouth, about to ramble on a bit more but thankfully, you speak.

“I don’t get it,” you admit, the door to your quarters coming into view, just a few more paces away “why do you flirt with me when you can go have as much ‘quick fun’ as you want while on Coruscant?”.

Jesse immediately raises his hand to stop you from saying anymore, his feet coming to a halt as he clarifies “Hold on, I’ve never said I wanted to have some quick fun with you”.

No way.

Oh kriff, this can’t be happening. Is he really denying it? At this point, you presumed that fact was a given, even if he never said those words exactly. Though you try to hide your expression, your face drops, his words hurting you in a way you didn’t realise was possible.

Your shift in mood makes Jesse’s heart almost lurch out of his chest. “No! No I didn’t mean it like that,” he hurriedly states, placing a hand on your shoulder so you turn to face him fully “Well, actually I did mean it but not in the way you think, just please, hear me out”.

You stay quiet, reluctantly meeting his gaze. “I don’t want quick fun with you… or well, that’s not how I imagined us,” he explains, his eyes never leaving yours as he continues “I thought we would have some long term, committed fun. Well, that’s if I can ever convince you with any of my cheesy pick up lines”.

Feeling too vulnerable with his confession, Jesse tries his best to lighten the mood with that last part, hoping to deflect some of the attention back onto his supposed cheesy flirting skills.

With the inklings of a smile gracing your lips, you quietly ask “You got anymore of those pick up lines?”. The look in your eyes tells Jesse all he needs to know, a subtle shyness gleaming in your pupils, sprinkled with hope and anticipation.

“I’m sure I can think up another one,” he says confidently while his brain scrambles for a pick up line. Not wanting to waste any time and potentially lose this moment, Jesse says the first thing he thinks of; “Your lips, against mine. Boom. Kiss”.

You smile in response, taking your time as you consider the suggestion his pick up line so blatantly alludes to. “Straight to the point,” you comment “I like it”.

Certain this is too good to be true, Jesse’s eyebrows momentarily quirk upwards as he replies “You mean it?”.

Although there is little space between you and Jesse as it is, you take a half step forward, closing the gap between your two bodies. “I think it’s your best one yet” you confirm, a buzz of satisfaction emulating through you when Jesse’s eyes flick to your lips.

Looking for one last sense of approval, his gaze meets yours again, searching your eyes for the same lust that fills his own. Angling your head upwards, you bring your lips close enough for Jesse to understand your intentions but too far away to initiate the kiss. Though you’re positive Jesse wants the same thing, you want him to make the final move.

You can feel his breath turn shallow, as though the anticipation is too much. With his eyes fluttering shut, Jesse closes the gap, tentatively pressing his lips to yours as he tests the waters.

Everything in Jesse's head is telling him not to do this, that doing such a vulnerable act in an open corridor where anyone could see is a bad idea. And yet it feels so right, a dam of emotion bursting within him as you gently bring your hand up to cup his face, his stubble coarse beneath your fingertips.

In one bold move, Jesse loops his arm around your waist and takes determined strides towards the door to your quarters. You move backwards, trying to match his pace while simultaneously keeping your lips locked on to his. You keep moving backwards, only stopping when the corridor wall presses against your back. Yet even at that, you both continue to move though it’s now in smaller, more shuffled paces as you reach your door.

Jesse hungrily captures your lips in long, hard kisses, urgency lacing each kiss. Slowly, his hands begin to move from your waist, trailing up and down your sides without touching any part of you that’s too intimate.

Keeping one hand by his cheek, you use your other to quickly punch in the security number for your quarters, not even looking down at the command panel as you do.

Waiting for the door to open, you eagerly deepen the kiss, tongue gliding against his lips. With the same amount of eagerness, Jesse opens his mouth to you, bringing his hand up to hold the back of your head as his tongue glides against yours.

When the door opens, you step backwards again and into your room. You expect Jesse to follow, to keep his tight grip on you and continue your fiery kiss… but instead he simply leans into the room, his feet never leaving the corridor as his hands slip away from your body.

As his lips leave yours, it takes you a second to realise he’s not following you, a surprised pout forming on your face. Jesse smiles instantly, a flame of passion burning brightly in his chest when he sees your cute expression.

“Just an escort back to your room and nothing more,” he repeats, echoing his promise from before “that was the deal”.

“Jesse” you groan, slipping your hand into his and playfully tugging.

He chuckles, cherishing the action. “Next time, huh?” he says, pulling you in close to him one last time “cause I’m not in this for some quick fun, y’hear? You’re not getting in my pants that easily”.

You join in on his laughter, giving him a quick kiss on the jawline and making no attempt to unwrap yourself from his embrace. Lowering his head to your ear, he mumbles “Go on, get some sleep”.

Reluctantly, you break away from Jesse, knowing he’s right. “Fine,” you sigh, stepping deeper into your room “see you later?”.

His relaxed grin quickly turns into a smirk as he replies “We’ll see”. That earns another eye roll from you, though it doesn’t hide the smitten look on your face. And with that, your door slides shut.

Leaving out a satisfied sigh, you walk to your bunk and sit on the edge, adrenaline coursing through you. With a fond shake of your head, you damn Jesse once more, knowing full well he’s got you wrapped around his pinky.

#star wars the clone wars #tcw jesse #jesse x you #jesse x reader #arc trooper jesse #tcw jesse x you #tcw jesse x reader #arc trooper jesse x reader #arc trooper jesse x you #clone trooper jesse #clone trooper jesse x you #clone trooper jesse x reader #the clone wars fanfiction #star wars fanfiction #clone wars jesse

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alacetor-the-duckies-deer · 3 months

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Been thinking about this post I made earlier, and

The problem with the hotel is that Charlie went too big too fast with the goal. Unfortunately Katie Killjoy was RIGHT when she asked why anyone would care about becoming a better person, when you consider that it means going up to heaven to be with the very people that put them in hell in the first place (as far as they know), and who (definitely) then come down to massacre them once a year anyway.

But if you think of the pride ring specifically, rather than all of hell, as a jail of sorts for sinners, then, maybe they'd want to explore the rest of hell if they could.

And if Charlie got with her father and the other sins, and got approval for like, passports of sort, that give sinners who prove they could behave in the rest of hell- where people live who aren't saints but can still be good people and who ARE more often than not weaker that Sinners- permission to travel, I BET plenty of sinners would have at least wanted to TRY the hotel.

The hotel could function more as a voluntary recovery resedance for them. Like if Angel had been promised the opportunity to visit the Lust Ring, I bet he'd have committed a little more serious the cause sooner.

And it wouldn't even have to be an all or nothing thing. Each sin could have different requirements for allowing sinner into their territory. Ozzie would probably never allow people with sexual assaults on their record, for instance. And Mammon would probably allow pretty much anyone, wanting anyone who could pay to see his shows.

But it's still not a perfect solution unless the genocides stop.

Because it just leads to questions.

Do they tell heaven they're letting sinners got to other rings?

If they do, they run the risk of Heaven, specifically Adam, not agreeing to only hunt the unrepentant/unredeemed in the Pride Ring, and simply expanding the genocide, the violence, into the other rings, and the other sins might refuse the system soley based on that.

And if they don't tell them? That's not going to stay a secret long. Even if it take a decideds for enough sinners to have earned their passport to even one other ring, all the sinners that can, are going to bale on the Pride Ring during the genocide.

At first the angels might think they're successfully keeping Hell's population down, but eventually they're going to get suspicious, because whether they've been doing this since the dawn of time or only since the human population, and therefore Hell's population, boomed in the last century or so, for it to suddenly be working this well???

And all they have to do is capture some sinner during an extermination, and torture the answers out of them.

And then it's like.

Do they see that as Lucifer trying to get out of his side of the bargen? Do they say fine we won't uphold our end?

The fact Adam and them go after Charlie in the season finale shows there's no magical contract PREVENTING them from killing Hellborns. So what if they start giing after Hellborns too, since they're traveling rings now too?

Soooo maybe I've talked myself in circles.

Even though I dont THINK Charlie has though about all of this, it's still stands that she does have to go that big with the hotel. She has to get them out of hell as things stand now, because if there are genocides, nowhere and no one in hell is garenteed safety.

Now, in a post canon world where they get the extermination to end, I think this would actually be a good system.

Most sinners are actually in hell for a reason, and if they want to just keep indulging in that behavior, fine. Pride Ring Prison.

But leaving a voluntary out program readily available to them, where they can rehabilite themselves as much as they want-wether it be to Aesmodeos or Mannon's or Beelzebub's, or even Heaven itself's standards? Yeah, I think that would work really well to insintives people to change.

#hazbin hotel husk #charlie hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #the radio demon #lucifer hazbin hotel #angel dust hazbin hotel #angel dust #sir pentious #helluva boss asmodeus #hellava boss #hellava boss meta #hellava boss theory #hellaverse #hellava boss Beelzebub

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huramuna · 7 months

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the calico bastard - chapter 3.

aemond targaryen x strong bastard oc (series) previous part | next part

summary: After his takeover of Harrenhal, Aemond encounters a dreamy-eyed, wistful bastard of House Strong, who piques his interest and changes the course of Westerosi history.

warnings: smut (eventually), angst, canon typical violence, canon typical misogyny, depictions & descriptions of death

wordcount: 3.4k

a/n: alys rivers doesn’t exist in this universe, alysanne takes her place somewhat. a/n 2: this is my first fic, i got the courage to post it -- please be nice n' leave a like if this interests you!

art by me of alysanne • an edit by me of alysanne as a child • aesthetic board

wuthering heights - kate bush • leave me for dead - GAYLE

Alysanne didn’t get much sleep that night, not after what she’d seen— the future and the present.

She paced around her small room until the light trickled from the horizon. Aemond’s harrowing screams echoed in her ears, her chest heaving and falling.

There had only been one time before she had such a violent vision.

It was eight years before— Alysanne was only ten years of age, just an unloved bastard girl of Harrenhal.

Except, she had one who loved her. The only one.

“Pick me up, pick me up!” Alysanne cried gleefully, “Breakthbonthes, pick me up!” she held her arms up, her words whistling through the gap in her baby teeth— she’d yet to lose those last few teeth right at the front, causing an admittedly quite silly lisp.

Ser Harwin Strong— her brother, or half-brother as it may be, had returned to Harrenhal after a long time away.

Her father, too, had returned— but Alysanne could care less, they were indifferent to one another.

But Harwin— Harwin was hers, her brother, the only person to ever treat her like a person, like she wasn’t lesser.

She ran on bare feet out to the gates, jumping and waving her arms as she saw the procession arrive. The little girl would recognize the curly mop and mountainous build of her brother anywhere.

“Ah, my little lilac!” Harwin boomed from atop his horse, spurring the stallion into the gates, “By the Seven, Alysanne, you’ve grown.”

“The maesther says I’m too schmall for my age,” she grumbled, kicking up dirt.

“Ahh, and what does he know, anyhow?” Harwin grinned, dismounting his horse and leaving the reins to the stablehand. “The poor sod can hardly see past those caterpillars of eyebrows atop his head, eh?”

Alysanne giggled, putting her arms up once more, “Please pick me up— wanna be thall… t-tall,” she tried to correct, spitting a bit through her gapped teeth.

Harwin chuckled— it was a rich, soothing sound. His whole body seemed to erupt with the joy he brought as he laughed, like a deep and generous clap of thunder before the skies opened up.

Alysanne felt her heart rattle around in her chest at the noise.

“Let me get this heavy armor off, lilac,” he hummed, “C’mon, tell me about what you’ve been up to.”

Alysanne skipped and hopped alongside Harwin as they walked through the courtyard, where he left his armor at the smith to be polished. She babbled on about the books she read, the birds she saw, and any innocuous thing she could conjure up.

Each thing, no matter how small, boring, or insignificant it may be, Harwin would respond, whether in agreement, asking a question, anything at all— anything to make Alysanne feel special.

“Alright— c’mere, little lilac,” Harwin finally acquiesced, kneeling down slightly.

Alysanne squealed in delight as he ran into his arms— only to be met with darkness.

A cold, withering darkness. Usually, being encapsulated by Harwin was warm— warm and bright, like the sunniest summer day.

But she felt cold— cold like the North was, colder than anything she felt before, like after a flame had been extinguished.

Then, her vision went red— red, orange, yellow, crackling fire— warm, warm, too warm. Hot, hot— it was smoldering, she was screaming, feeling the skin melt from her bones and char into ash— and she wasn’t the only one screaming.

She heard the cries of men— two very familiar to her—

Harwin, Harwin— open the door, open the door, brother, please! She screamed and clawed at the door until it melted before her into glowing lava, sizzling at her feet— and behind it, Harwin— his hand on the knob, no, fused to the knob.

His hand wasn’t attached, snapped off like a charred piece of firewood, his body strewn across the floor. His face peeled from the muscle and sinew, popping and blistering against the heat. His mouth, now just a hole, was twisted into an everlasting scream—

And then she was back. Back to the warmth and brightness of Harwin’s arms. He was shaking her softly, jostling her shoulder as a small crowd was gathered.

“Alysanne,” he murmured frantically, “Alysanne, wake up, my girl.”

Her eyes fluttered open, filled with tears— they rolled down her cheeks. She opened her mouth to speak, but only a whimpering sob came out.

“Shh, don’t speak, it's okay,” he cooed, turning her away from the prying eyes of the crowd, “I’ve got you.”

Ser Harwin Strong and his father, Lord Lyonel Strong, perished that same night in a fire— a supposed accident.

But Alysanne— she had known. She saw it, and had said nothing. She hears Harwin’s ghost muttering to her at times, his warm and gentle voice now saddened by ash and smoke.

She contemplated her life for days, months and years after— she had lost the only family she had— and she could’ve stopped it.

Since then, she relented from touching people or being touched. She never wanted to have that power— she didn’t want to see their deaths, hear their screams and have their ghosts linger in her head for the rest of her life.

Now, after seeing Aemond’s supposed death, she felt a responsibility to change it— not for herself, not for Aemond— but for Harwin. For what she could’ve done, should’ve done.

She wiped an errant tear from her cheek as she dressed for the day. She forwent the corset— damn the thing— and dressed in another kirtle, a paisley color.

Her hands moved deftly as she tied her curly hair up into two braids— nothing like Flora and Beth had done— but it did the job nonetheless.

The rest of the keep wasn’t awake yet— or so she had thought. She walked out in the courtyard barefoot, as usual, and found it odd as she heard another pair of feet crunching gravel near her.

Turning around, she came face to face with Aemond. He looked… exhausted.

His brow perked, “What are you doing up this early?” he asked as he kept walking, a nod of his head in indication that he wished for her to follow.

She let out a sniff, “I’m always awake,” she grumbled, “I need to tend to Banshee.” she trotted alongside Aemond, her short legs having to work double time to keep up with his long legged strides.

“‘Banshee’? I know that Harrenhal has its fair share of ghosts, but I haven’t heard the wail of a banshee yet— and even so, how does one tend to a Banshee?” he prodded, putting on a pair of leather gloves as they walked.

“… Banshee isn’t a ghost,” Alysanne said, a slight tinge of annoyance lacing her voice, “Banshee is my horse.”

They stopped at the stable, which now housed more horses than usual on account of the soldier’s occupation. Alysanne slunk to the last paddock, which was in truth, not in good shape. It had its fair share of bite marks and hoof prints.

Aemond watched as the strange little bastard lady stood on her tippy toes, clicking her tongue and holding out her hand over the top of the stall door.

A rumbling snort was heard before an absolutely monstrous horse head dipped over the door. It had a gray spotted snout and a neatly trimmed forelock and mane.

Alysanne hummed as she undid the lock and led out Banshee. He was a ginormous draught horse, built purely of muscle and power. He had a light gray coat with black dapples— as well as some long feathering near his hooves. He was easily taller than Aemond by a foot.

The gelding let out a snort as he looked at Aemond, then turned his focus back to Alysanne, nuzzling the top of her head, earning a small giggle from her.

Aemond Targaryen, rider of the largest dragon in the world, was slightly aghast at the size of this horse. He exhaled, “That has to be the biggest fucking horse I’ve ever seen,” he said, folding his arms over his chest. He looked back and forth between Alysanne and Banshee, “How do you even get on his back?”

Alysanne looked at Aemond, slightly bewildered, “You ride Vhagar— how do you get on her back?” she countered as she led Banshee out into the courtyard.

Aemond, fascinated by Alysanne and her monster horse, followed, “Well— a fair bit of climbing, and she has some rope rigging around her saddle.”

Alysanne pat Banshee on his neck— at least, as far as she could reach. “Well, think of Banshee as a small Vhagar,” she hummed, “It isn’t graceful, but a fair bit of climbing,” she mimicked his tone, “does the job.”

The prince was slightly amused by this. “Well then— go on,” he pressed, “Let’s see how the bastard fares getting atop her horse.”

Alysanne let out something of a growl or a grumble in annoyance, clicking her tongue after. Banshee lowered himself slightly, to a point where she could snag onto his mane and scramble up his neck, sliding down onto his back. It was hardly graceful, and was comparable to how a bat scrambles upon walls before taking flight.

“No saddle? Reins?” he questioned further.

Alysanne cocked her head, “No?” she snorted, as if it was the silliest question she’d ever heard.

The prince pinched his brow in what seemed to be frustration, “How silly of me— you don’t even wear shoes, of course you’d ride your beast without the proper tack.”

She rolled her eyes but didn’t say anything further. She murmured something to Banshee, who let out a whinny and began his walk— it was slow and bumpy, but Alysanne kept her composure.

“Be here when I return, girl,” Aemond said before they got out of earshot, “I’ll have need of you.”

Her brow furrowed. Need of her? For what? And where was he going?

Alysanne and Banshee’s leisurely walk turned into a relaxed trot as they exited the gates of Harrenhal. They were half a mile away from the ancient castle before a thunderous roar was heard, and the rising sun was eclipsed by the gargantuan green beast known as Vhagar.

Alysanne scratched Banshee as he got a bit fidgety as the dragon flew low in the sky, just above the treeline. “S’okay, my sweet boy,” she hummed, wrapping her arms around his neck as far as she could reach, “You won’t die by a dragon— I’ve seen it.”

As Vhagar began to disappear from sight, something clicked in Alysanne’s head. The dragon was riding towards the God’s Eye— which meant Aemond was as well.

It… it felt like too soon— no, the battle couldn’t be today— but she had seen Harwin’s death just hours before it happened…

She spurred Banshee into a full on gallop, pressing low to his back to hold on, “Please, please,” she whimpered, tears already forming in her eyes.

As they approached the shore of the God’s Eye, she looked around, scanning the sky for any sign of the bloodwyrm— or even Vhagar.

She slid off of Banshee’s back, letting him graze as she walked the pebbled beach of the lake. She paced back and forth until it was high noon, the sun rising in the sky to its apex.

A few more hours passed until late afternoon, the sun beginning its descent back towards the earth. A temporary eclipse of Vhagar returning had Alysanne giving a small breath of relief— until the giant dragon turned, lowering down to find a spot to land.

Banshee strayed near the woodline, as far from the dragon as possible— Alysanne shared his unease, a deep pit settling in her gut.

She ground her teeth as she approached the landing dragon, the powerful flaps of her wings actually causing Alysanne to fall over— which apparently earned a laugh from Aemond— a laugh? When had she heard him actually laugh?

Watching as he gracefully slid from Vhagar’s saddle, not before unstrapping himself (earning Alysanne a breath), she got back to her feet, dusting off her dress.

“I thought I spotted that elephant horse of yours,” he called out, walking towards her.

She shrunk back, “What do you want?”

As he got closer, his expression became more visible. He seemed… lighter. More elated. His hair was swept back from the wind and his mouth was crinkled in a small grin— not that of a predator like usual, but like that of someone who was… joyous?

It was a difference of night and day— his pained anguish the night before, and his almost boyish demeanor now.

It confused Alysanne— she hadn’t accounted for this, such a strong change in emotion from him. It settled the pit in her stomach ever so slightly.

“What do I want?” he repeated with a questioning tone, “Nothing— I merely wished to see if your beast had bucked you off yet.” he stopped a few feet away from her, not getting too close. His arms were behind his back in their usual resting position. It seemed as if he was respecting her boundaries.

“Banshee wouldn’t— not to me, atleast,” she picked up a smooth stone from below her idly, rolling it around in her palm, “He’s a killer, you know.”

“A killer, hm?”

“Mhm,” she hummed, “Stomped in a few men’s heads over the years— ones that tried to ride him, besides me.”

Aemond’s lip curled slightly, “Seems he’s bonded with you as his sole rider, then. Dragons are much the same. They get to choose who they bond with— test their mettle, and find them worthy.”

Alysanne looked towards him as they conversed— they began walking around the shore near each other and she hadn’t even noticed. He still kept his distance, to which she was grateful. “Vhagar finds you worthy,” she commented, “It must be an honor.”

Aemond picked up a rock as well, weighing it in his palm, “It is. It’s the highest honor of any Targaryen’s life— to be chosen by a dragon.”

She stopped at the lapping waves, dipping her feet in the water. With a swift movement of her hand, she sent the stone skidding across the surface. Once, twice, thrice.

A few moments later, Aemond did the same. Once, twice, thrice.

Alysanne gave a lopsided smile at that as she straightened back up. She felt at ease— like a leaf on a cooling breeze. Not only at ease, she felt brave.

Slowly, she lifted her head, taking in the features of Aemond’s face before landing on his eye— which looked right back at her.

She felt a rattling in her chest— like a caged bird flapping and ricocheting against her bones. A strange heat came to her cheeks. “We make up one pair of violet eyes, you and I,” she murmured suddenly, “One lilac between each of us…” she stared at his remaining eye, to which he stared back at her one, paired with the rich, earthy brown of her other eye.

His brow furrowed momentarily, “An interesting observation,” he picked up another rock and skipped it across the waves, “You remind me of someone, you know. My sister— Helaena, her grace, the queen,” he whispered, his voice taking on a softer note, “I feel like you two would have much to talk about.”

“I’ve heard she is fond of insects,” Alysanne answered, walking from the shore to the grass, where she began picking plants from the soil, seemingly with purpose, “I quite like a good moth myself. They liken themselves to have false eyes on their wings, so they do not have to stare down predators.”

Aemond didn’t comment— he just watched her pick plants.

“Herbs,” she said, as if feeling his questioning stare on her back, “For my medicines.”

“I didn’t know you were a maester as well as a bastard,” he said– more likely than not with a smug grin on his face.

“I may be odd in appearance, but you must be blind in both eyes if you think I resemble a smelly, mean old man.” she quipped back.

He didn’t say anything more, just setting his jaw in a hard line. This earned Alysanne a satisfied smile– the bird had silenced the dragon.

In her joyful reverie, she went to pick a bundle of chamomile– but her hand plunged into a bush of stinging nettle. She let out a yelp like an injured animal, pulling her hand back and looking over it.

Apparently, her yelp had caused some concern from Aemond, who rushed over– he broke the boundary they had set, and even more, he reached out to her hand. “Let me see,” he grumbled.

“No, no–,” her cry was cut off as they touched, and her vision went black once more.

It was storming. Thunder rumbled the ancient stronghold– but they were not in Harrenhal. She couldn’t quite fixate where they were, until she heard the tumultuous crashing of waves against chiseled stone. Storm’s End– the seat of power for House Baratheon.

Why was she here– why… Aemond was here as well. He was stanced as usual, his hands behind his back.

Another boy was there, as well– brown, shaggy hair and brown eyes. Harwin? He looked like Harwin– he was turning away from Aemond, walking out.

“Wait,” Aemond called out, “My lord Strong,”

Strong? There were no more Strong Lords– and not a young boy like this. Who… was he? When was this?

“Did you really think you could fly about the realm, trying to steal my brother’s throne; at no cost?”

“I will not fight you– I came as a messenger, not a warrior,” the young boy spoke. Alysanne could see his body language– he was… afraid.

Aemond smirked, “A fight would be little challenge. No,” he said, putting his hand up to his eyepatch, taking off the leather and revealing his sapphire eye underneath, “I want you to put out your eye. It is payment for mine. One will serve,” the prince drew back his coat, throwing a dagger to the floor towards the boy, “I would not blind you. I plan to make a gift of it to my mother.”

The boy shivered, falling into himself inwardly for just a moment– then he took a breath, puffing out his chest, “No.” he declared, staring Aemond down.

“So you are craven, as well as a traitor.” Aemond hummed for a moment, the sound of Lord Baratheon’s cries to stop drowned out from blood pumping in his ears– hers as well.

Alysanne felt his contempt, felt his rage– bubbling, boiling right under the surface, just like the Fourteen Flames of Valyria. The madness in him was palpable, threatening to break his bones and turn him into a beast hewn of scale and wrath and tear this ‘Lord Strong’ apart brick by brick.

She shivered; he truly was fire made flesh, an echo of a warrior long past– a god of War in his own right.

“Give me your eye! Or I will take it, bastard!” Aemond exploded, advancing on the little Lord Strong like a predator–

Then they were in the sky, Aemond chanting taunts atop Vhagar– words that Alysanne didn’t inherently understand, but she felt it– in her bones, rattling around her chest and stomach.

It was a chase– a game of cat and mouse– or dragon and dragon as it may be. But Alysanne knew it was nothing of fairness. What was fair in a dragon of War, named after the Goddess of War, chasing a hatchling just large enough to carry a young boy?

What was fair in that?

What was fair?

In her fairness, in her twisted justice– Vhagar’s massive jaws snapped the smaller dragon into pieces, along with Lord Strong, the remains of his existence scattered into the sea.

The rage of Aemond quelled– quelled into a dull ache. It was replaced by a new feeling, mayhaps one Aemond hadn’t felt before.

Guilt. Remorse.

Kinslayer. Accursed.

What had he done?

Her eyes opened– she wasn’t crying like usual, when she saw death. Usually it was impending death, something that perhaps she had a chance to change– but this… was the past, wasn’t it? Something she never could change, something that had already been lived and gone and was a done deal, sealed with the bow of death. She didn’t feel panicked, no– she felt hollow.

Aemond was holding her up again, cradling her like a delicate flower. He cleared his throat as he stared down at her. “What did you see?” he asked, his voice so quiet it was almost inaudible.

“Kinslayer.” she murmured in response, her voice broken.

#aemond fic #aemond x oc #aemond fanfiction #aemond targaryen #hotd aemond #house of the dragon aemond #aemond x fem!reader #prince aemond #aemond one eye #hotd x reader #hotd fanfic #aemond fanfic #aemond fandom #my writing #the calico bastard

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lazorbeanz · 3 months

Note

Why do you personally ship, like, or appreciate Sonamy? What got you into Sonamy? What’s your favorite moment between the two?

Why do I ship Sonamy?

Okay, ima admit it..for someone who is a diehard sonamy fan, and thinks about AND ONLY about them literally every waking second, I can not think of ONE reason why I ship them to begin with….

“So you just ship them for basically no reason WHY?!” Pretty much 😅

And I’ve seen so many other people give their really good reasons and opinions on why they ship sonamy, and I full on agree with ‘em, but as for myself, I rack up nothing…and it’s my favourite ship too I mean come onnn TwT

I’ve also had my sister ask me this same question not long ago, and all I could do was just sit there and think “Damn your life almost revolves around these 2 HOW CAN YOU NOT HAVE AN ANSWER?!” I constantly beat myself up for this because I know I should 😭

And I mean, stuff like being the dynamic duo that they are, (whether in battle or not) their attitude and affection for each other evolving over time, respecting the other’s wants and needs, respecting boundaries (kinda the same thing tbh lol) , enjoying each others company, and just how the whole idea of sonamy has turned from what some people may see as “toxic” or “forced” (that might be the better word for it) from early 2000s media, to something more laid back and healthy like recent media because of all the character development over the years… etc, etc…are all fantastic reasons, and even reasons I would now apply as to why I love the ship even more…BUT they’re not the reasons I began to ship them in the first place, because these things I NEVER took into consideration when I starting doing so.

To put a long story short, I just saw pink and blue hedgies and was like, “ooooh I sense chemistry”

I feel like I could be going no where with all this. But all I’m tryna say is that I LIKE sonamy simply because of who they are…just a speedy blue boi and his hammer-wielding pink girlie. I APPRECIATE them solely because of their existence, especially in my life. They are like- one of the few things I ever look forward to these days. I SHIP them because unlike any other ship that has sonic or amy in it, sonamy just… “works” (I don’t know how to explain it but you know what I mean right??) And despite not being canon, (YET! 😏) they have got to be the closest ship to becoming canon (besides vectilla) ..unless I’m just biased :p

What got me into Sonamy?

Well, I did kinda just answer this in the previous question lol but I have to elaborate!

So yeah it started off with just seeing them 2 together and thought “I like where this is going hehe” tho tbh it never really went anywhere…because I was watching Sonic Boom at the time XD, the first piece of Sonic media I consumed since regaining an interest in the franchise. AND WE ARE NOT going back to like 2015 or 16 when I first discovered Sonic…idek what I did regarding shipping back then…I think I like shipped blaze and shadow or something OH LAWD-

Also to think that those short lived Sonamy moments in Boom didn’t even bother me in the slightest?! Present me is disgusted by such lack of interest or care! 😫

Okay okay I’m straying from the question, I’m sorry!!

There are a few things that got me hooked on Sonamy. First was definitely the tv series’. Boom, Prime and X all had adorable and wholesome moments that I could’ve almost died of cuteness from! Some of it was also hilarious too. In Sonic boom for instance, sonic and Amy would fight like a married couple lololol

Another thing (and this was the game changer) was the fanart and animatics. These became the addiction for me; one comic would lead to me reading another, which lead me to read another and so on. Or I’d find an animatic on YT and watch that and then begin scavenging trying to find more animatics to feed these cravings of sonamy I was beginning to gain all of a sudden.

And it just got worse and worse to the point I practically need a daily dose of Sonamy or I just might go feral

But I mean, how could I not?! YOU GUYS ARE SO GOSH DARN TALENTED AKJDJSJDND

Sadly now my food hath runneth dry over the months…so if any of u like come across anything sonamy pls don’t hesitate to tag me or send it to me pls I need it ajhshsjs

On top of all that, came the brainrot. My growing love for this ship and all the incredible media really sent me into a serious Sonamy delulu era. Literally almost ANYTHING can send me into deep thoughts about those 2, no kidding. I literally planned out in my head an entire story of them a couple days ago. Sometimes it’s a head canon or 2, other times just something extremely wholesome I’ll imagine them do and I’ll be deceased. Those rats live in my head rent free omg-

As I said, ANYTHING can trigger this brainrot; a song, a scene, a quote, a random object…you name it, I’ll come up with a Sonamy headcanon in relation to it.

I can’t also forget other sonic media that also boosted it like game cutscenes and IDW. Lately IDW has been CARRYING it for me with the little Sonamy moments like in the 900th adventure, #67 and other tidbits I’d find in former issues. The amount of frames I’ve seen of them hugging warms my heart waaa🥺🥺

Overall, this fandom has really impacted me and my love for Sonamy. (and sonic in general) all the things I’ve learnt and discovered have made me love them all the more because of it. My life has almost become an Sonamy aesthetic now…I am NOT joking when I tell you my PJs are Sonamy coded, and that was hardly intentional…🤣

Favourite Sonamy moment?

Arrghhh why just one?? Pretty much ANY moment involving those 2 cotton candy hedgies are bound to be my favourite!

Totally not saying this cuz I can’t pick a favourite *cough cough*

Take this, it’s the only Sonamy image I really have in my photo album rn.. (I should be in jail for this)

Its one of my favs so it counts :)

Woowee that just about covers it! Now you know all about my weird and wonderweird love for my favourite ship :D 🩷💙

#sez says #asks #answered asks #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #sth #amy rose #Sonamy #sonic x Amy #sonic and amy

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penvisions · 5 months

Text

return the favor {chapter 20}

Pairing: Post-Outbreak! Joel Miller x Smuggler! Reader

Summary: The arrival in the haven of Jackson brings certain things to a head, you find solace in a few people of the settlement after being alone with your thoughts for months.

Word Count: 8.2k

Warnings: canon typical violence, canon typical language, canon typical angst, like MAJOR ANGST, feelings of inadequacy, ptsd, trauma, brief discussion of child loss, grief, argumentative language, yelling, shouting, joel being an ass, reader being an ass, angry emotions, brief suicidal ideation, reference to past self-harm injury, ellie being a little shit, maria's hyper awareness, reference to sexual content

A/N: this came to me very quickly, having had the ending scene written from the get go and the rest of the story was a way to make it make sense. hope this doesn't hurt anyone too bad! please come complain to me (nicely) if you feel the need

ao3 link || series masterlist || main masterlist || ko-fi

The horses were fast, impossibly so after being only on foot for so long. You kept a tight hold on Ellie in front of you, arms around her and holding the reigns of the horse you had been offered. She’d never been on one before but he helped her up all the same, and then you behind her. You knew he was worried about your arm, irritating it with the effort to pull yourself up on your own.

Joel was on his own, right behind the woman who introduced herself as Maria, one of the declared leaders of the council to whatever haven they were now taking you to. She had been curt with her words, saying that Joel’s brother was with them. There had been argument or discussion, Joel asking to see him, be taken to him such weak tone you knew was born of hope and desperation at this point.

A formidable structure was cresting over a hill, giant logs forming a wall with an entrance that you could barely make out adorned with people on watch. Your heart had yet to calm down since the first whiny of a horse, thudding heavily in your chest and almost mirrored in your temple as a headache formed at this drastic chain of events.

It almost seemed too good to be true, like a lifeline that was a trick should you reach out and grab it. But Joel had, he had reached out his aching hands and gripped it tight, refusing to let it go.

As the gates opened you could feel your breath leave you in a puff of steam. It…it was a whole town, revealed behind the gates. A traditional main street lined with maintained buildings, people bustling about and doing so much that it was all so dizzying. You turned to look at Joel, having been corralled in the middle of the group for entrance into their settlement. He could only share your look of disbelief, nodding at you to turn back around and take it all in.

There were elderly people, there were children, there was laughter, there was excitement.

There was life.

Your observations were cut short when Joel’s voice boomed behind you.

“Tommy!”

You turned to look at him, Ellie mirroring you and you followed his gaze toward a man clad in denim who was atop some scaffolding and working with another figure to haul up pillars of wood. Building, they were actively building. Creating something, making something more for this already amazingly impressive place. The man looked up, his focus shattered at a vaguely familiar voice. Dark hair longer and curling at the ends, thick mustache that rivaled Joel’s atop his upper lip. The same kind eyes and similar features telling you that it was indeed his kin if he hadn’t just shouted it for all to hear. Both men rushed toward each other, Joel dismounting his horse and the man stomping down the scaffolding.

They embraced in the middle of the street, boots nearly sliding out from underneath each of them at the collision, Joel’s disbelieving chuckle coloring the air and softening your heart.

Ellie reached for your hand still holding the reigns. So small in your own as you shifted the reigns to one and held her with the other. Her eyes were cast down, watching the scene through her lashes.

“What the fuck ya doing here?”

“I came here to save you.”

They both laughed, embracing again and nearly swaying on the spot. Ellie turned away from the reunion, knowing that her thoughts were much like your own.

Alone.

You were both alone. No family of your own left. You shifted forward and pressed your front to her back and leaned over her a little. Whispering into her ear that she had you, that she wasn’t alone. That you wouldn’t leave her for anything. That she had you.

She didn’t respond, face barely composed as the horses began to move once again. Joel and his brother walking beside them.

Her words of asking you to stay with her echoed in your head.

It felt like a dream, entering the stables and securing the horses. Following behind the small group of Maria, Tommy, Joel, and Ellie through the town. Walking through doors into a large space that was set up like a mess hall.

The plate in your hand heavy as it was handed over to you, filled with steaming food that you couldn’t smell. A cup of coffee and a glass of water are brought to the table once seated. You, Joel, and Ellie on one side while Maria cornered her chair from the head closer to Tommy on the other. Joel and Ellie wasted no time digging in, barely taking a breath as they inhaled their food.

But you were too overwhelmed, too wary. You had come across a place similar to this once, not nearly as large. Only a small collection of houses at the end of a cul-de-sac. But the food had been a ploy to get your guard down. It had been tainted, the drugs making you dizzy enough to become pliant when taken back to a room full of women shackled to the walls.

The fork in your hand felt fake, too light and unlike a weapon that had been become a part of you.

“There’s more if you need it.” Maria’s voice was even, and your eyes shifted to her, she was already watching you. Her eyes moving between your trio in even sweeps, trying to read whatever you were unconsciously telling her. Trying to discern the dynamic and the reason for you sticking together. Worry underlying her gaze as you noticed her leg move to touch against Tommy’s under the tabletop.

“Thank you, ma’am.” Joel took a moment to catch his breath, fork still loaded and hunched over his plate slightly. “Been a while since we’ve had a proper meal.”

“Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever had a proper meal.” Ellie quickly tore down his simple statement.

“Now that’s a lie, Bean’s made us plenty of meals with what she could.” He fired back, no real heat behind his words. He looked over to you, but he paused when he realized you had yet to touch your food. The fork in your grip just hovering over the tablecloth laid out beneath it. The steam rising from the mix of different things on the plate not enticing you enough to indulge. You wouldn’t meet his eyes, too busy trained on Maria and having a silent conversation with the woman across from you.

“Okay, maybe one or two. But this is fuckin’ amazing.

Joel’s head whipped back to the teenager whose focus was solely on the food she was hunched over, her arms creating a barrier from the rest of the table.

“Sorry.” He aimed at his brother and the woman beside him, almost sheepish. It was a surprise to both of them that you didn’t admonish her like you had back at the cabin, when she cursed at the elderly couple. You weren’t completely present and it was setting them both on edge a little. You hadn’t been so out of it since the fever that tried to take over you after Salt Lake City. But even then, your eyes were clouded over, instincts taking hold and guiding you. Survival being the only goal right now, despite being in an entirely different climate and environment. “Ellie, let’s mind our manners.”

Tommy’s smile was beautiful, though there was pain behind it. Joel’s too as you realized they were sharing hesitant one. You and Maria shared another look of your own before she reached a hand out for you.

You flinched, the fork clattering to the table as you pulled your hand back. Joel stiffened beside you, his knee pressing to yours underneath the table in a small comfort. But it was fruitless, you were too worked up, too overwhelmed. Too hopeless to salvage or take anything with the man in light of changing circumstances.

“I promise you the food is safe.” Her eyes softened as she realized what you must’ve been thinking, seeing you too clearly for comfort.

Ellie’s demanding ‘what’ broke the connection, drawing attention to a young girl that scurried away from where she had been observing the table.

“What’s wrong with you?” Joel’s voice was incredulous, unable to process the front she was putting on much like she had done at the older couples’ cabin. He glanced over at you, but you were focused on the food in front of you, not really present. Unable to help him try to get Ellie to behave herself. He huffed, worried for you and exasperated with the teenager, feeling the strain of having to watch over you both even now.

“What about her manners?” Ellie spit back, voice lethal as she tried to defend herself. Too familiar with watching, prying eyes. Scanning her for weakness and then using it against her. This wasn’t the FEDRA school building, this wasn’t a controlled environment like that. This was different, she was different. She wouldn’t let someone get the chance to bully or beat her up just because she was new or different this time around.

“She was just curious.” Maria spoke softly, trying to maintain a calm head in the face of Ellie’s defensive front and your nearly shut down one. “Kids around here don’t usually look or talk like you.”

“Right…well, maybe I’ll teach them.” She held the woman’s gaze, setting your nerves alight, worried she would get herself into a situation she couldn’t get out of, a situation you or even Joel couldn’t help to get her out of. You were paying attention, but everything seemed to be happening behind a thick panel of glass. Like you were there but not, removed and watching as if in another headspace you couldn’t shake off. “And I want my gun back.”

“They also aren’t armed.” Maria’s tone hardened, her frustration showing slightly but trying to keep up appearances, keep her calm in the wake of seeing how your trio was failing to integrate even this early on after being brought in. You were sure if there was no connection to the man beside her, you would’ve been turned away.

“You know what? Uh- I think y’all maybe got off on the wrong foot.”

“She was gonna have her guys kill us.” The silverware in her grip thudded onto the table as she leaned forward, no longer willing to play nice.

“We gotta be real careful about who we let in this place.” Tommy tried to explain, calmly taking over the conversation. He and Joel seemed the most calm, it was you, Maria, and Ellie who were having trouble acting like this wasn’t one of the weirdest fucking interactions of your lives. “But it’s all bark. We’re just tryna scare off those who might wanna try us is all.”

“Well, you got a couple of ninety year olds shitting themselves out there.”

“Ellie.” Joel’s head swiveled heavily as he pinned her with a sharp look for her foul language.

“They say that you leave dead bodies around?” Ellie focused back on Maria, wanting to hear the answer the woman came up with.

“Those are the people who tried us.”

“A bad reputation doesn’t mean you’re bad. Not always, at least.” Maria’s eyes locked on Joel, his chewing stopping as he realized what she was insinuating despite having just met him.

“Ma’am, we’re grateful for your hospitality and all.” He locked eyes with his brother, who suddenly seemed uncomfortable, worried about what was about to be said. “But it’d be nice to have a moment here, maybe just for family.”

“Well, um…” Tommy scrambled for words. But you didn’t hesitate.

Taking that as your queue to leave, you began to move.

"You're okay, darlin’." Joel had turned to face you; you were on his right side out of habit. He was looking down at you, the few inches of space making you dizzy as his eyes were on you. You shook your head slightly, disagreeing quietly to save face, mentally preparing yourself for the rift that was bound to open between you now that he was back with his actual flesh and blood. You had never seen such unadulterated joy on his face as you had seen today, though Ellie would be the first to argue that he looks at you in much the same way.

As if sensing the shift in you, Joel turned his head just enough to keep you in his periphery. Body still taught and on alert despite being behind the walls and in the company of his finally found brother. The room was large, too many people milling about, seated at their own tables. The hum of chatter almost suffocating as it was so different a background noise from the howling of the wind and the rustling of trees that kept you company for months now. The hush of moving fabric a threat more than a comfort, the shadows of people moving about and minding their own business something that set you on edge instead of placated you. But you knew it had to be a good thing, this settlement.

Joel whispered your name, reaching out a hand to grip yours where it was on the table, having put the utensil down at his words and gone to push yourself up from your chair. Ellie watched with caution as he did so, knowing that you were full of emotions she couldn't read, she was feeling some kind of way herself ever since the brothers had hugged so unabashedly in the street. You yanked your hand from him in a moment of self-anger and pity, upset that you had begun to think things were mending between you. But he kept his hold, your clasped hands hanging between where he was still seated and where you stood beside him, chair kicked back a few inches at the motion.

But the truth was that in the light of civilization, in the chance at human connection, you didn't stand a chance. The strain that had been slowly developing between you both would shatter into nothing in the light of finding this haven in the middle of nowhere.

He would find some semblance of his old life here with his brother. You were just someone who he traveled with, shared favors when things got overwhelming and human urges were too strong to quell. You weren’t anything to him, not really, and even if you were naïve enough to think so, it wasn’t real. Whatever you two had wasn’t real, it was a faux creation of comfortability built in the confines of forced close quarters.

"Let go of me." He pulled his hand back as if burned, he didn't dare step over set boundaries when it came to touch. Your voice had been quiet, just enough to be heard. You nodded at Tommy, at Maria in silent thanks for the untouched meal and then walked away from the table. The door didn’t even get to close behind you completely before Joel was excusing himself and following you.

“Please, just, I can’t pretend like this isn’t all so overwhelming.” You didn’t turn around to look at him but could feel how close he was behind you as you descended the steps leading to the entrance of the building. Snow and rock salt crunched underneath your worn boots and you wanted to continue to hear that sound until you were far away from this place, from this supposed refuge. People were dangerous, perspective having been solidified by nearly every encounter from the last fifteen years accumulating and not changing in the slightest.

“Family includes you.”

“You trekked across the country for him, Joel. Go be with your brother. I’ll give you space or whatever you need, but please don’t make me feel like I’m something I’m not.”

“You are, you are…important.”

“Not now! Not…not since I’ve been so in my head that I can’t distinguish the present from the warped reality in my head. I know it and you know it.”

“Darlin’, c’mon, at least get a warm meal in ya before we do this.” Your features morphed into a deceptive calm. Even he was admitting that this was about to all fall apart, the thin string of connection between your little trio, between you both.

“Joel-“

“Enough!” His frustrated shout caught the attention of more than a few passerby, craning their necks toward the argument. No longer given the element of privacy behind the walls and in the center of town. “Let’s just go back in there and hear them out, you owe me that much.”

“No!” You shouted back, not caring how it echoed or the people watching on with wide eyes. Not caring how it may look to these people who knew nothing about you or even seemed to be welcoming. Prying eyes be damned, you would not let Joel steam roll you.

“You’re treating me like shit, Joel. And I’m over it. Pinging back and forth so quick I can’t keep up. I don’t care if you don’t want anything from me, but you have to show me some respect. Don’t go acting like this one meal with your real family is going to change anything. You’re going to drop me, and I’d rather know now.”

“I am trying to keep you alive. Yours and Ellie’s lives are in my hands and I am trying my damned best to keep them safe. Between her constant questions and your hovering, it’s nearly impossible to keep a quiet trek. Even now, behind these walls. You’re acting like I’ve betrayed you in some way and throwing up your walls without hearing anything out.”

The irony of his words must’ve sunk in because he stepped back with a deep inhale, his expression steeling as if freezing over in the cold air.

“No one said it was just your responsibility. I’m here too, Joel, you have to let me carry some of the weight. I’m here, I’ve done nothing but follow your lead and I am glad to, but you have to respect me. Do not treat me like a burden because I’m not one. Don’t pretend like you’re not about to cut your losses and move on.”

The words seemed to ignite him further, no longer willing to hold back all of the emotions he had been feeling and still felt despite the temporary reprieve. A glint shone in his eyes as he stepped toward you, his height allowing him the display of power as he glared down at you. You tried not to let the flash of fear show, but you know it passed over your face as he got closer. He had paused for the fraction of a second, seeing it and hating that it had happened but sticking to his guns all the same. Despite the knowledge that he wouldn’t hurt you, the thought was so palpable as he loomed over you. Your hands twitched but there were no weapons to reach for, having been taken at the gate upon entrance.

“Oh yeah? Is that why every god damn set back, every break we’ve had to take was because of you? If you’re so capable then why are you constantly injured, huh? First the broken arm, then the fever, then the god damn bear, and the lake. Hell, the first day we came across you and cleared the city limits, you fell, knocked your head and twisted your god damn ankle. What do all of those have in common? You. It’s because you’re weak, darlin’.”

“Fuck you.” You spat, taken aback by the way he was speaking to you. The way he was deciding to do this. Putting the blame for his inability to face reality on you, with you.

“My arm got broken because I was protecting Ellie on the ground while you were up in that house! The fever was because of my broken arm. The bear? The goddamn bear, Joel? You mean the one you couldn’t hear coming up from behind? And the lake? You were the one taken hostage, not me. I was the one that got you untied, I was the one that’s been getting the shit end of the stick this whole journey, but guess what, I’ve also been the one healing everyone! Been cooking whatever we hunt and forage, been the one to help bridge the gap between you and teenage girl you’re afraid of!”

“I am not afraid of that little girl.” He hissed, teeth clenched tight as he bared them at you.

“You are. And you’re afraid of me. Because it’s more than making sure we stay alive. It’s because you care.”

“I don’t care. Only doing this to get-“

“Oh shut the fuck up, you repressed asshole.”

You stalked away from him, done with the conversation before it blew up even more. But not before he saw the tears overflow and begin to race down your cheeks. Shoving through the people that had loosely gathered around you both, pretending not to listen in but failing at being discreet. Perfect, the first impression you were both making was terrible. A heated, boisterous argument right in the middle of the densest part of the whole town.

Joel called your name, but you ignored it. Done with the conversation, done with him. Your ears were ringing, your body was tingling as if numb, that staticky feeling when a limb fell asleep and blood flow was blocked. Your throat was tight, face hot with emotions. Family. The word echoed in your head over and over again, too much, too defining. Too much of a lie. Reality be damned, you’d rather be alone than force a connection with someone who deemed you a proverbial punching bag because they couldn’t handle their emotions. The street blurred by as you stalked off, pace fast.

You physically reeled when a hand closed around your upper arm. You startled so badly at the touch that you tripped, body falling with the sudden loss of balance and stability.

“Don’t touch me!” You shrieked, not willing to play nice any longer. You swung a clenched fist around too quick for the person to dodge and a woman fell to the ground with a shout just as you landed on your own ass. Both arms going out to try and catch yourself, but when the contact of your left arm was made you shouted out. Tingles sprouted up and down the entire length and all you could do was grip it right with your right and look up through your tears. The woman who had approached you was cradling her face, a pink blossom sprouting from where you had landed the punch. But you didn’t move even as you distantly heard the click of a gun’s safety.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you, I’m a nurse! I just wanted to help, you’re obviously distressed.”

Ellie sat there and stabbed at her food, taking too big a mouthful to cover her discomfort at being left at the table with these strangers alone.

“They do that a lot?” Maria asked, trying to comb over the obvious awkward tension in the air as the girl was left beside two people she didn’t know anything about. It didn’t seem to matter that it was a safe environment, Ellie was on edge and it was obvious.

“What, act like dumbasses who don’t know the other likes them?” Ellie swallowed her food, stabbing another large bite. Trying to act like she wasn’t brimming with anxiety while you and Joel were separated from each other. Maria and Tommy shared a look, not sure what to do other than wait for one or both of you to return to the table. “All the time, it’s exhausting.”

Joel ambled back in and Ellie perked up slightly until she realized you weren’t behind him. He just shook his head slightly at her, letting her know that you had walked off to cool down or gather yourself or whatever. But he was sure the sharp cuts of words you both shouted at each other had been audible from outside.

“Maria is family.” Tommy declared, shaking their held hands atop the table.

“Oh shit,” Ellie shifted from their linked hands to each of their faces. “Congrats.”

“Joel, say congrats.” The teenager calmly prompted, taking enjoyment out of the turn of roles to mind manners. Shifting in the seat he had taken back him, he locked eyes with his brother and congratulated them in a flat tone. The hits of the day continued to land as he realized his place in this world.

As the group stepped out from the mess hall, a woman came up to Maria and whispered something to her. With a nod she sent her off and turned to Joel.

“Your girl is at the infirmary, the nurse we have is tending to her arm. It was broken recently?”

“Three months ago, broke clean through the skin. She tended to it herself as best she could.” He was sure you wouldn’t mind the information being shared, most likely the exact thing you were telling the people at the infirmary to get a better understanding of how your attempts had done and able to determine how well it had healed.

“Bean can take care of herself, she went to school for, what was it Joel?” Ellie turned to him, not wanting to say the wrong thing. But wanting the woman to know who she was messing with, know who she almost killed. Spiteful tendencies not falling off in the face of authority.

“EMT, medical anthropology. She’s got degrees under her belt and certifications.” Joel felt pride flare up in his chest as he spoke, wanting Tommy and Maria to know that you were capable, just as he was. That you had been holding your own out there in the wilderness, that it hadn’t been easy but you managed between here and Boston just fine.

“A smart woman, we need someone with that kind of knowledge. Our last doctor that taken out by a nasty strain of the flu last season.” Tommy tried to bridge the gap of conversation. Trying to understand exactly what happened to his brother from the moment he left Boston with the Fireflies to now, without being too direct. Knowing focused questions would warrant Joel to close oof or fabricated lies that were only hints of what actually happened. The girl and you being the biggest questions he has by far. But he let it rest for now, hoping they could have a moment alone soon enough. Hoping that by some miracle his brother would plan on staying here, safe. With him.

Joel listened as Maria began her informative tour, explaining the basics of things here in Jackson for him and Ellie to learn. To get familiar with. But he wasn’t sure what to do now, what the right choice to make was.

Remain here and integrate. Make some semblance of like all together. Or simply use it as a place to recharge and then get back on the road, use it as a place to gather information and supplies before picking up where they left off. The Fireflies, Ellie being immune, you needing rest, Joel needing rest…all of it factors in a decision he needed to talk over with you. After he apologized for the way he spoke to you earlier, for the things he blamed on you that he was at war within himself over. He was bonded to you all and that was the problem, he had gotten too close in the months of travel. Come to instinctually seek you both out as soon as his eyes opened after sleep, needing to protect you both at any cost.

Something Maria said brought him out of his spiraling thoughts, and he turned his attention to her with a furrowed brow. None of this made any sense, too many generators that would fail out in cycles between fixes and scavenging for parts or batteries. A light pole stood proud in the center of the street, thick cables running off of it an toward the tops of the surrounding buildings.

“You draw power from the dam.”

“Got that working a few years ago.” She agreed, slight confusion coloring her features as he pointed it out. She hadn’t said so, but she continues talking, finding it a good thing that he was asking questions and engaging rather than shutting down and running off like you had been. Though she wished you were within her sights, just to make sure you were okay.

“Bean was right.” Ellie pinned Joel with a mild glare. Aware of the growing tension between the two of you as the days bled together.

The stables were loud, now in the later hour. The bustle of horses being lead around large pens, sheep being herded from one to another, people tending to the animals keeping his thoughts at bay. He felt a glimmer of something as he watched the sheep move about with trotting steps and comforting noises, the conversation from the night before sprouting to the front of his mind.

“Hey Joel, check it.” Ellie smiled, imitating them as she looked over her shoulder at the man. Tommy looked between them, brows raised in a silent question that Joel waved off with a slight nod of his head.

“Soooo are you like, in charge?” Ellie askes, hands weakly clapping together from where she had them buried deep in her jacket pockets. Nervous energy filling her up the longer she was away from you, but hoping you would join back up with them soon.

“No one person’s in charge.” “I’m on the council. Democratically elected, serving three hundred people, including children. Everyone pitches in. We rotate patrols, food prep, repairs, hunting, harvesting.

“Everything you see in our town: greenhouses, livestock, all shared. Collective ownership.

“So, un, communism.” Joel spoke up, taking it all in. Thoughts racing as he wondered if you were getting the same information at the infirmary.

“Nah.” Tommy scoffed, not agreeing with the rather simple way that Joel summarized everything. “Nah, it ain’t like that.”

“It is that. Literally.” Maria burst her husband’s naïve bubble, though there was no heat behind her words as she glanced back at him. It simply was the most accurate way to describe what they had established here in Jackson. “This is a commune. We’re communists.”

Joel tossed Tommy a smug look over his shoulder as he rubbed his aching hands together and followed after the girls. Tommy hung back for a moment, soaking in the realization.

“No way!” Excitement colored Ellie’s tone when she spotted the mare and her foal peeking out from within a stable close by.

“That’s our newest one. Couple months old, wanna pet her?” The offer was genuine as the group approached the opening and Ellie reached out to baby talk and caress the foal’s fur.

“Yeah, what’s her name?” Joel ambled close to her, sticking by her side even with the relative safety of the place, not taking any chances with the bustle of people everywhere. She was distracted, the sights and phenomena garnering her attention. She wasn’t on alert, but he remained so for her sake. For his.

“Shimmer.”

“Well, I’m sure they’d like a shower. Some new clothes. We can put them in the empty house across the street from us.”

“Yeah,” Tommy looked to his brother, hoping they weren’t overstepping anything by offering without all three of your trio present. “Decent place, pretty much untouched since ’03, but it’s got the heat goin’ in it. Could do worse.”

“Oh, trust me, we have been.”

“We’ve been doin’ fine. Don’t disrespect Bean like that.” Joel defended, not wanting them to know just how bad it had been getting before they found you. Feeling self-righteous in the face of finding out his brother had been experiencing old world comforts while he slept on the frozen ground and ate whatever could be scrounged up day after day. That he had barely been able to provide for you and Ellie despite his efforts.

“Oh, like you did, yelling at her in the middle of the street and running her off?” The teenager fired back, not taking Joel’s attempt at corralling her in that instance.

“Ellie-“ Joel hung his head, shoulders inching up as he realized this was only the first of many comments the teenager was going to make.

“Well, I’ll take Ellie over there. Track down…Bean was it you’re calling her? Let you two catch up.”

Joel gave them your real name them, not sure if you’d want strangers you didn’t know calling you by the fond nickname Ellie had graced you with before him and his brother broke off to have a moment alone.

It was night when you returned to the center of town, the main street lit up with fairy lights and burn barrels. It was pretty, you had to admit as you walked around looking for the movie gathering that Maria had marked on a note for you back at the house assigned to you for the night. It had been empty when you arrived. Lights and heat on for when one or all three of you retired for the night.

“Maria, can I…have a word with you?”

“Of course,” The woman lead you out of the crowded room and onto the street. She opened the door to a front further down the street. You settled up on a stool at the bar while she rounded the long counter and poured you a drink. Eyes trained on the bottle she replaced back on the shelve, not pouring one of her own.

You gripped the lowball glass in steady hands.

“I know you what you must think of me…of Joel. But we did right by that little girl and we’ve been doing our best to keep her alive. But…it’s not been easy, I won’t lie to you.”

“That argument was pretty heated, seems like things haven’t been easy in the slightest.”

“It’s…unforgiving out there. Thought I had enough trouble traveling alone, but with people you feel responsible for, that look to you for guidance, it’s far worse.”

“She’s not yours.” Maria realized, putting the words to fruition, seeing you and making it known. She could recognize it in you, just like you could in her. Mirrors of each other, though one had safety and community while one did not. Mothers who have lost, women who have survived. You met her eyes and showed even more of yourself to her, feeling like she was trustworthy to know. To be privy to what drove you and made you who you were. That you were willing to be a part of this should they allow you to stay, with or without Joel.

“No, mine was lost before the pregnancy could come to term. Ambushed. Lost my husband and my home, nearly lost myself too.” Honesty seemed to be the best course of action, the right thing to do in face of all this woman had offered you so far. Despite the way in which the initial greeting had played out. You understood the need to protect, the need to threaten. You’ve had to do it before and you would do it again in a heartbeat.

“I’ve lost a child too. It’s not something you can come back from without weight.”

“No, it’s not. Even after fifteen years. Twenty years.”

“But Joel-“

“He’s a good man, but I know he’s done some things. Things that weren’t necessary but were easier for him to do in his own grief. I think he’s carried it heavier than all of us combined. But please, don’t mistake me, I am not making excuses for the man, hell, we ain’t even friends. Not really. Just happened across each other and stuck together, for Ellie.”

“But you love him. I can see it. Despite everything.”

“It’s those damn Miller genes, gotta hand it to them.” Your lips pulled up at one corner before you sobered, mood not picking up completely in wake of the day. “He doesn’t return those feelings, or he does and can’t stomach the thought, but it doesn’t matter. I’ve been a fool to think that this journey changed him in that regard.”

“But the journey isn’t over.” She was smart, reading you like you were one and the same. You wondered if for all your combined hardness, if preserving softness was how you truly survived. Her with helping to keep this commune running, you with protecting a little girl with everything you had. Both the same, both trying to heal with world in what little ways you could with dual swords gripped tight in each hand.

“All I ask for is supplies and a horse, I’ll take Ellie on from here. But please, give him the same curtesy if he decided to stay or not or y’all vote against him stayin’. Please.” You gazed out at the smoke wafting from one of the burn barrels, hoping to be emersed in a hot shower after being out in the cold so long. You hadn’t sat still for more than a moment since entering the town, doing rounds and talking with the nurse who had been kind enough to help you despite blindly attacking her.

She was nice, if a little misguided. Working off of notations and medical books that wouldn’t help her to truly understand the gravity of certain injuries unless she had dealt with them before. You left your own journal for her, some of the books you had kept with you. You hadn’t asked for anything in return but she made you a plate of food in her home, her wife kind enough clean your coat while you all talked.

“She’s all I got now, and she needs me. We can finish our travels from here on out alone, and don’t want to be a burden to someone who is still dealing with their own internal demons. But he’s right, I am weak. Been injured more than whole the past three months, but if it means I could get her to where she needs to be, then I’ll risk my death.”

“I’ll get you what you need but…know there’s a place here for you both- all if you…don’t find what you’re looking for.”

“You’re just saying that because I’m medically trained.”

“I mean it, you deserve a chance too, even if you’ve already given up.”

She reached out to take your hand and this time you didn’t flinch.

You didn’t greet Joel as he entered the home, the shine of tears long past still evident on his face in other ways. His shoulders were slumped, exhaustion plain in his every movement. He walks past you and toward the staircase, his path toward Ellie up in one of the rooms.

“Don’t,” You stepped away from the bottom of the stairs the second he appeared at the top of them. The soft light of the lamps lit up around the living room bathing you in half shadows. But they didn’t hide the hard focus of your features. You heard everything that reverberated down the stairs. He had broken Ellie’s trust in him, her faith in him, just like he was about to do with you.

Tension was a thick wight over the room, your body tense and Joel’s shoulders slumped as he leaned his knees against the side of the couch. The argument from earlier floating between you both as you were standing by an armchair across the room.

“We…we can still get her there.”

“We’re both too weak.”

“Not-not if we rest for a few days, get some decent meals in us. Water that we aren’t rationing to only what we can carry.”

“No, not even then. I’m too old, too worn down. You’re too injured, prone to get more so. We aren’t strong enough.”

“Joel-“ You pinched the bridge of your nose, head throbbing with the cold still waning from your trek to find Maria.

“You deserve better, dammit! Not some old fuck who can’t handle anything anymore!” His voice was loud, booming around the dusty living room and you jumped, not expecting it. You were sure Ellie could hear the hollering just as you had heard her a few moments before. Your hands were fisted at your sides, nails digging into the skin of your palms at the action. “You’re so insistent on keeping on with me when there’s no fucking reason! Like a damn thorn in my side, no matter how hard I dig I can’t get you out!”

“It’s not about what I deserve, you fucking idiot! It’s about what I want. And you’re it, Joel Miller.”

“Well, sometimes we don’t get what we want. I’m not your shot at a second chance to start a family. I’m too damn old for this shit. Playing pretend and ignoring the reality of the situation. We shouldn’t have started what we did, it just made things complicated. We were both weak, to give into that. Too stupid to see that it wasn’t moments of peace, it was damnation.”

“I don’t regret being that way with you.”

“Well I do. It wasn’t right, we were fools to think there weren’t strings attached to it. You have enough trauma with that kind of stuff for there not to be. With how you came onto me, propositioned me, I shoulda known you would get attached.” The words tumbled out of his mouth without a thought. The heat of the moment and the emotions swirling in him too much for common sense and decency to play a part.

All of the emotions of seeing his brother after so long, having been living in a safe and protected place while he had suddenly come into the care of someone he hadn’t had room in his stone cold heart to deal with. Losing the one person he had come to trust in his life, suddenly shackled with another woman who reminded him of her so much. Suddenly a father again and faced with a familiar silhouette that sparked too many hurtful memories.

“Oh.” Your face fell, no longer firm with determination as you fired shouts at him as fast as he had been doing to you. A heaviness settled in your chest as you schooled your expression into a blank one. You didn’t want Joel to see you cry, even as you felt the tears begin to well up, your face heated up as they did so. Your hands were still at your sides, when not two seconds ago your fists were clenched as you pleaded with the man to understand. But it was too late, he set fire to the bridge you two had cautiously and carefully built over the last four months with one breath.

“Shit, that-“

“No, no. I get it, I’m damaged goods. Too impure for you in your fuckin’ set southern ways. I guess we don’t owe each other anymore favors. I felt safe with you, I let my guard down with you, but I’m seeing it for what it was now. I was nothing more than an easy fuck to you. That’s all I’ve ever been to people in this damn forsaken world. God forbid I think I’m anything of substance, of anything more than that. I haven’t felt wanted since before my husband got slaughtered.”

You didn’t care how hoarse your voice was, the volume diminished now that your heart felt like it had been stabbed, wounded beyond repair.

The scar on your left arm was throbbing. The sensation to tear the skin open fleeting in your mind just as was the bloodied body of a past lover, of the men you had taken out after finding them retreating in deep snow, of your legs scratched and bruised from fighting one of them off to no avail. You opted to reach for your pack where you had set it beside an armchair. Joel was silent as he watched you try to pick it up, his fingers curling into his palm over and over again in that obvious nervous twitch of his. But you were too overcome with the situation to lift it, the weight of it too much for you. You crumbled to the ground, knees digging into the hardwood of the floor, your hands gripped tight on the fabric of the pack, knuckles white with the pressure. Tears rolled down your face, heavy and hot as your chest ached.

“At least everyone else had the decency to demand what they wanted from me, not play tricks in order to get it. I was honest with you, I meant what I said. But, maybe I should’ve been honest when it developed past that and that’s on me. Played me like a damn fool.” Your words wavered as they fell from your lips, no more fight to your voice. He had broken you, like he did everything he ever touched. “Savior complex rewarded by helping out someone in their time of need and then getting the reward. Should’ve seen it for what it was this whole time.”

No words came from him, no defense against himself, no admonishments for you and what you were thinking. All of the embraces, all of the reaching hands, all of the shared looks, tainted now. And there was no going back. He just watched the way you clung to your pack, crumbled down on the ground.

You didn’t say anything, head bowed over your hands still tangled in the handle of your pack. The tears were rolling down your cheeks, hiccups lofting into the air on every other intake of shuddering breath. You tried to tamp it down, not wanting the man to see you break down and continue to see you as weak, but being too overcome to realize it would make a lasting impression on him for the days to come either way.

“Tommy is going to take my post, he’ll help get you both to where you need to be. Dawn, it’s his call.”

His steps were heavy as he thudded past you, crossing the room. His coat being tugged on over his taut shoulders, entire body tense as he worried you would suddenly find a second wind. But you didn’t and he made it to the door. The sound of it closing behind him, the click of the handle sounding with a note of finality. Joel rubbed hard at his face, hand smearing the tears that had fallen from his own eyes over his heated skin. He looked up to see Tommy standing on the steps to the porch, frozen mid-step between two of them, gloved hand on the railing.

“Don’t.”

“Joel…”

“I said don’t, Tommy.” He clenched his eyes shut as the muffled sound of your cries sounded through the door. He didn’t think his heart could ever feel so heavy again, but he was proven wrong as he walked away from the house that was supposed to be some sort of future for all three of you. He was a damn fool too.

It could’ve been minutes; it could’ve been hours; you weren’t sure how much time had passed but eventually you made it upstairs and in a bedroom. You felt numb, body on autopilot as you undressed and regarded yourself in the vanity mirror. Steam filled the bathroom, swirling around you as you took in the state you had been left in, gutted.

The hits he had thrown at you weren’t physical, but you could feel them coloring your skin, tightening it around your ribcage, your knuckles, your temples. Weakening you beyond anything someone else could manage to do. Your eyes stung, dried out from the tears before you managed to detangle yourself from the pack and get up off the heap you had made on the ground down in the living room.

Hot water cascaded down your body, hurting when it made contact with the back of your neck, burning your skin pink. You choked on a sudden sob, bursting from your chest as you had the fleeting, naïve thought of sharing a shower with the man who had made it his mission to tear you apart.

Instead of sharing in your body in this way, he had taken chunks of it for himself with his teeth. Carrying you around with him as the blood stained around his biting mouth and underneath his clawing nails. Not in the way you had wanted, not in the way of a bruise sucked into his neck or scratches down his back, the phantom feeling of you wrapped around him or phantom whines in his ear. But this far more sinister way, where you got nothing in return.

The bed was a freezing contrast when you collapsed into it, though sleep didn’t come.

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dividers by the lovely @saradika-graphics

taglist: (trying to link everyone who's asked) @sawymredfox @narcissa-anastasia @ayamenimthiriel @rosaaeles @littlemisspascal @oscarissac2099

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starrylayle · 4 months

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Marauders Fandom > "There is no canon !!" and other rhetorics

Guess who's back in their marauders phase after 2-3 years of being dormant lmao?? ((spoiler its me lol)). Anyways, a lot has changed since 2021 in this fandom so I just wanted to talk about the direction i think it's going.

I remember in 2020-21 the fandom started to boom in popularity on tiktok --> esp with the rise wolfstar + atyd. I remember people were so suprised with remus' characterization as 'rougher around the edges' instead of the 'soft boi' thing, and how that influenced the new wolfstar dynamic. [Just want to add that the atyd characterisation is much more complex than this and its one of my fave fics --> I'm more talking about the fandom at large's reaction to this)

And since fandom is incapable of having two nuanced and characters who are not stark opposites,, their roles were basically reversed and now Remus is the toxic dom alpha male and sirius is the cute girlyboy twink --- which um,,, the oc-ification is so real its embarrassing but whatever (omg don't even get me started on jegulus 💀)). I just assumed these would stay as headcanons. But now we have people saying, that 'we barely know anything abt the marauders in canon' or 'isn't the whole point of fandom to make shit up?' which i have sO many issues with so let me just try and compile my thoughts into dot points for the sake of coherency.

'we barely know anything abt the marauders in canon' ---> First of all, Remus, Sirius and Severus are fully fleshed out characters in the og series -- why do you think people would care enough to create an entire fandom based on their backstories if they were 2d flat characters in canon?? Like bffr. I saw a post on here (forgot who it was by, let me know if u know!) that said, 'I didn't cry over sirius' death in OotP just for ppl to say that we know nothing abt him in canon'. Like, its just mind-boggling to me lol.

'isn't the whole point of fandom to make shit up?' --> Ok y'all. For a fandom to work, there have to be some guidelines, some kind of source material, some point of reference so people can build upon it and make content. I think we can all agree on that. One reason why HP is such a popular place for fandom is the world-building and potential plots/storylines. I see some people argue that jk rowling was a shit writer anyways so might as well contradict everything she says. Now, I don't disagree with that point in particular, Jo is a pretty mediocre writer and a terrible person. HOWEVERrr, I'd argue that it is a lot more fascinating when people expand or work on the concepts in HP. JK Rowling has a lot of great ideas but executes them terribly -- I love when fic writes do this, which prolly explain why I love atyd as it is still very much canon compliant but executes themes on class, disability and queerness that jkr could barely do in subtext. This doesn''t mean I only think canon compliant fics are valid. That's not the case! I think as long as the charcterization is consistent to the character and the particular circumstances/world they're in, its fine! In fact, I love seeing how the same character would function if in a different place! I also love seeing explorations of the magic and magic systems in aus or fix it fics (or even canon compliant ones) that still fit in with the canonnical system that we know.

I guess what I'm trying to say I wish the marauders fandom explored the world and charcterizations more deeply instead of creating shallow oc-fied version of the characters that fit into whatever's trending -- like just write your own book or smth lol -- booktok will eat it up i promise.

Also, kinda related kinda not but um,,, why are we romanticising fascists -- like babe no evan rosier is not your babygirl he canonnoically tortured multiple ppl and became a death eater soo... not saying that I wouldn't want an exploration of his character or even a relationship with barty -- (who's not some cool dairk-haired edgelord but a actually a cowardly fascist murderer with blond hair -- yes the blond hair is important) -- I'd just want them to be portrayed as the not morally good people they are. Like,, if u want to oc-ify a character like pick someone whos not a death eater or has little info on them like dirk cresswell or frank longbottom,,, or ya know,, one of the MANY female characters in the fandom ((This fandom also has a problem with women and sapphic ships in general but that's a whole other issue lol).

I know this 'babygirlification' of death eaters doesn't mean to do this, but it also ends up watering down the themes of oppression, bigotry, etc and leaves us with not nearly as complex characters. Also one of the issues I had with the og HP world is that JK will introduce concepts like wizard racism and slavery and then just like,, not really do anything about it or just have half-arsed redemption arcs whilst not ever actually exploring the root of the issue. And now i feel like the fandom is following in those footsteps unfortunately.

Anyways, i've been rambling for too long so I'll just leave it here. Sorry if this came off as mean spirited in anyway,, I just have a lot of thoughts™ and my family is sick of hearing them lol. These opinions are not set in stone however so I'd love to hear your thoughts on this subject! At the end of the day this is fandom and we're supposed to have fun -- so yeah !! thanks for reading if you made it this far!

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noxx-33i · 2 months

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Hello I have come to word vomit RGB trio thoughts and headcanons. Beware some of these will probably be nonsensical and not in order.

I think skate has the worst fashion taste out of the three. I can't say much on this though cause I also have an atrocious sense of fashion/lh

Boombox and to an extent Skate talk in 80's slang. Like radical, bodacious, hella, etc. 80's coded boombox just lives in my head rent free and i can't kick him out/silly

Their alcohol tolerance from lowest to highest goes: Skate, BB, Sling

BB and Skate crash at Slingshot's place ALL the time. At this point even Shuri and Vine are used to them just random showing up

^^continuing this I think they like to enter through anywhere but the window. Most especially Skate. BB at the very least is willing to act like a Normal person and use the door SOMETIMES. Skate however if he uses the door you'll bet that he's going in on his board. Whether or not he immediately crashes and breaks something inside is another thing/lh

Sometimes they'll just have Katy Perry Sessions with Shuriken. Like literally just listening to Katy Parry. Don't. Don't ask why I don't know either/lh

^^they have California Gurlz memorized.

If one of them does a crime none of them are snitching. If one goes down they all go down if one admits to it the other two will admit to it too. No bro left behind/silly

Sling is the smartest academically in their group and is probably the best at math. Not saying he's a prodigy im just saying BB and Skate are probably dumb as shit with math /lh+aaff

Sometimes Skate likes to record his Sick Moves™ and sometimes it would Also be in a place he proooobably shouldnt be in so Sling and BB take turns being on either camera duty or watch duty. Whether either of them are good at it is a different discussion/silly

Skate was caught stealing by the police once but BB was there and somehow he managed to trick them into believing he was Skate's lawyer and that he did not steal anything. Sling watched from the distant absolutely flabbergasted

Sling prices his menu very high and whenever someone asks he's just like "Oh yk, inflation!" and somehow it always works

they like setting fireworks off at night. Sometimes BB can't come cause he's too tired from work or something tho so

Despite Slingshot being the most academically smart in the group Boombox is the one who would hesitate when given a big shiny red button that could nuke Crossroads. Sling and Skate would see a shiny red button and go "ooo shiny" then BOOM!!!! /silly

idk if you want this but I have an au with my friend using the skins ingame (and some we made up for it hehe) where Snowboard and Rainbox were highschool best friends and they would get into shenanigans together like light theft (Rain is the distraction), parties maybe, etc andddd I love them very much

Snow in the au has canonically tried to rizz up a girl (in High School) only to bag her boyfriend AND her brother

^^The au takes place years later when Snowboard is in college (in Blackrock college cause there's no faction wars in this au) and when he comes back he finally meets Cozyshot who is Rain's roommate and erm my friend likes skateshot so I think you can tell what happens next (GAY PEOPLE) /silly

Okay im gonna stop rmabling now have a good day silly muah/p

IM GONNA RAMBLE TOO AND Oh my god ur so right on the first one.

SKATE HAS TERRIBLE FASHION SENse. I can smell it. Hes so sweaty he doesnt care ab his looks too much but bb would say "youre not going out like that

YES I AGREE. Boombox is stuck in the 80s and he doesnt want to leave. Im actually picking up these habits i wanna say rad so bad.

Skate being the lowest is the funniest shit wver bc i love bullying his ass. Did you tell i put NO EFFORT in his stupid hc reveal HEELP

I FEEL LIKE ONE DAY THEY MIGHT GET A SECRET HANGOUT PLACE… like fully furinisjed and with ac and all that fancy shit. How? Idk illegally? They probably have board games and dnd sessions with trusted friends who keep the place a hush

Bro theyre not normal they will never be normal… "GUYS HOW DID YOU GET IN" // "We lock picked your door" // "WHAT THE FUCK"

> lowkey skate would learn lock picking for fun and hed get so good at it he would be tempted to steal more stuff

>> that being said.. rob the bank?/ref

LOWKEY i feel like bb was a nerd in his younger years but grew out of it… he would probably like science facts and everyone thinks hes smart but hes not.. AND YES sling being math smart is so real teehee. Hes the expenses guy but also cant stop himself from spending more than he needs to

Skate n BB would get into so much trouble but no one can ever find them guilty in some fucking way and it makes the authorities so mad

Ironically id like to think Zuka easily catches them doing dumb shit but he doesnt care enough to report it

Sling has probably done tax evasion one or two times.. or more….

Ok cute hcs to vomit out… with ur mention of tired boombox i feel like sling and skate would immediately go to bbs place and crash not in a chaotic way but like ogghd.. ÖIKE THEY MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER BY GIVING SNACKS OR MASSAGES TO HELP HIM LOSE STRESS

Literally any time one of the RGB members get their vibes off its instantly to care land bc bcbc bc 😞😞🙁🙁😞😞😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 *sobbing crying throwing up* theyr besties 😭😭 this xan be both platonic or romantic i legit do not care i love BOTH

With that in mind i feel like whenever skate and bb crash over sling would have a few of their favorite pastries from his cafe saved in his fridge… like dog treats LMAOO

This is likge.. dog-cat-dog relationship… but all are chaotic as fuck /silly

YOUR AU SOUNDS SO SILLY PLEASE I WANT TO SEE!!!! I WANNA DRAW EVEN.

that au makes me think of sling with glasses for some reason… i need to draw so bad….!!!!;!2!

And they were roommates /ref+j

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nnnyxie · 8 months

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BAE I’M COMING THROUGH W THESE I SWEARRR, can’t remember if I already sent one but I got one I think is cuteee idkkk (I despise anything I write at all)

The BEST THING JUST TICKLED MY BRAIN, HEAR ME OUT

Izuku x Fan!reader, BUTTTT🤭 Reader is from our world, definitely possesses a bunch of merch of specifically Izu and one faithfull day they decide to listen to maybe a shifting meditation, more as a joke than seriously but the hope still gnaws at their heart. You can imagine the disappointment as they wake up in their own room☹️ but as soon as they open the door…boom ✨Ua dorms✨ they slam the door shut before opening it and slamming it shut again and again staring in disbelief before squealing, and rummaging through their closet to find a uniform :DD then being introduced to the class and realizing they don’t speak a word Japanese and panicking slightly, we just need a tiny bit of struggle🤞

And ofcourse trying (and failing miserably) to keep the fangirling at bay

It should have to be in the early days of class 1A so that they seem just a little more creepy for loving them so much, but also so they can predict a few things and then just say that that is their quirk :) like random visions

They don’t actually have a quirk but using their knowledge of the manga to their advantage :3 idk does that make sense??? And IMAGINE meeting Izu for the first time…reader just being a mess and Mina quickly picking up on it…reader being bi dosen’t help as Mina comes close to tease them and they grow Almost as pink as her…GJEKDKSKSK (I’m soo gay for Mina and jirou it‘s insane) okay I think I should stop I’m just writing whtv at this point but alsoo HIM SEIENG YOUR DORM or catching a glimpse of his pro merch??? The figurines??? He’s actually be SO weirded out but also curious??

Bonus: reader actually is the mc of a very very unpopular secret underground exclusive manga that Izu happens to be a huge fan of and he goes crazy when he sees them and first thinks they only look super similar and just can’t be around them because he‘s do flustered…one day either he or you is sick and Aizawa asks who could bring the sick one the notes and Izu/reader volunteer a little too fast🤭 so when they then see the room…littered with merch of them…wjdiwnykdnkxks I’m insane

Sincerely, Izu anon<3

#𖢥 izuku anon

WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT BECAUSE THIS

THIS IS GENIUS!!!! I WANNA EAT YOUR BRAIN!! /POS

okay so this roughly takes place before the stain incident BUT they’re in the dorms bc canon divergent is my thing /j

the day was slow and boring and you were curious!!

so you turned up that music and focused on shifting to the mha universe!! which failed the first time— but you weren’t gonna give up!! no no no. you tried again!!

and you succeeded. very successfully.

you didn’t realize you had— because your room was still the same! but that was until someone knocked on your door! you thought maybe it was your parent/guardian or sibling! but nope! it was aizawa and nezu!

you had no clue what your story was as to how you got here— did they somehow already get a random explanation? or what?

you were honestly so nervous— shaking from it all.

“come with us!” nezu smiled and motioned you to follow the two.

after a silent five minute walk, you reached a private room.

“you can’t go back for a while. you know that, correct?” nezu asked. you looked at him nervously, what did he mean? “i’m sorry? i don’t understand.” you tried feigning innocence but it didn’t work. they both gave you a ‘we aren’t dumb’ look.

“how did you know?” “we aren’t stupid kid, we know who belongs where. who is from here and who isn’t.” aizawa’s voice was firm and tired. “look— i didn’t think this wouldn’t actually work. i mean— it failed the first time i tried. how was i supposed to know it’d be successful the second time?” you were quick to defend yourself, afraid that maybe they’d lock you up in a cell until you were able to go back ‘home’.

“don’t fret, child! we’d just like to propose a deal,” nezu was snuggled up in aizawa’s scarf, it was kind of adorable. “what— what would that entail?” you were wary— you knew he was a good…. person? animal? whatever— you knew that he was good but, you were still afraid. who wouldn’t be?

“you know what happens here, yes?” you nod your head. “then, you’ll act as our help. your quirk is vision. you will tell us what happens before it happens” aizawa waves his hands in explanation.

“and for my side..?” “we’ll get you home.” “okay.”

the next day— you’re introduced to the class “before we go in, you need to understand that you cannot fangirl or whatever they call it. you need to pretend you only know them because of the sports festival and your visions.” aizawa had you at his desk while students piled in. good lord did it take everything in you to not scream.

“we have a new student, introduce yourself then take that seat behind midoriya.” aizawa pointed to the pretty green haired boy that you loved.

after a quick introduction, you were very quick and eager to take the seat behind him. “welcome to UA!” he gave you that smile— the one you loved so much.

after class, everyone was quick to come up to you— excited to know about your quirk since you hadn’t said what it was during your introduction.

“what’s your quirk? how does it work? what’s your hero name? do you have any special moves?” izuku was close in front of you— you could die right then and there. you were incredibly flustered—

“well— uhm… my quirk is vision and uh— well it’s what it sounds like… i have visions so i can see what happens before it happens…”

“how’s that even useful to us!?” bakugo, the asshole, yelled. while you did like his character— he was annoying sometimes. so, you just rolled your eyes and ignored him. opting to answer everyone else’s questions. he, of course, got angry at this. “don’t ignore me, brat!” he grabbed your collar and lifted his hand. “can you stop?” you asked in a rather annoyed tone.

honestly— this baffled everyone. but, izuku— izuku was thoroughly impressed— he even had a little crush on you now. ;)

as more time passed, work studies came. aizawa paired you with iida— after you let him know of the stain incident he had all heroes on guard and wanted you to make sure iida didn’t run into him.

now. the incident. you did EVERYTHING in your power to make sure iida stayed away— you kept him from the alleyways, watch his moves, etc. but still, he found stain.

then— izuku showed up. you knew he would at some point, of course. “midoriya, you need to go!” iida yelled, you were tending to native’s wounds. since your ‘quirk’ was just vision. you carried first aid equipment with you. he wouldn’t leave— you knew that. but, you wanted to at least try. maybe this time it could be different? maybe this time he’d leave and get help?

“please— izuku you’ll hurt yourself! i’ve seen it!” he ignored you, of course he did. he was a stubborn hero in training after all. “i have to help you both!” and with that— he attacked.

you saw as the hero killer paralyzed izuku, you felt so— powerless. you wanted to do more. you needed to do more. as stain was about to take another stab at iida— you moved to protect him but, todoroki showed up just in time.

the fight was long. and hard to watch— it was always difficult to see. all three characters you loved were getting hurt and you couldn’t do anything. but, you saw iida do everything in his power to force himself up— it was admirable, he was learning to do what was right and you loved that scene. then you remembered— stain would throw his knife to hit todoroki and iida would take it. iida doesn’t need more injuries.

“move!” you yelled as you shoved the two of them, the knife went through you. just above the heart, though it seemed like it struck directly into it. “you idiot!” todoroki yelled at you, and izuku looked horrified. he felt sick. he was angry. that gave him all the fuel he needed to activate his quirk.

the pros arrived as soon as the two took him out, izuku rushed to you, ignoring the yells of the heroes. did they not see you bleeding out? how could they just ignore you like that? it only angered him more but, he knew he needed to calm himself. it’d only make the situation worse.

you were put in a different wing— you needed surgery for your wound. it was deep and there were specs of his blade in you.

the surgery ended up having you on bed rest, so you weren’t able to attend classes. it sucked but at least you had your sweatshirts for comfort— your deku sweatshirts for comfort.

there was a knock at your door, then it opened. you forgot to lock it. though— you didn’t think much of it anyways, it was probably aizawa bringing you your work. which, you wish you didn’t have any.

oh. now you wished it was aizawa bringing you your work.

izuku walked in with a few papers in hand— the light from your opened window displayed all of your merchandise. oh no.

he looked— well, his expression was… mixed? he looked, confused, unsettled, happy???

“uhm— izuku— i can uhm— i can explain!” you sat up quickly, forgetting you were injured, your mortification overpowered the pain. “that’s— that’s me…” he pointed at a figurine. he turned around in a circle, taking in all of your items. then, he faced you. you, who was wearing a deku sweatshirt with a small plush of him on your pillow. “i—” his eyes were wide and his brows were scrunched, you were embarrassed— no— that’s an understatement.

“so… i was right…” he mumbled to himself. “what do you mean? you were… right?”

he rushed to the door— closing and locking it, then threw your papers onto your desk.

“you aren’t supposed to be here! i was right!” he exclaimed in joy. “i can’t believe it— you— oh my god i was—” he threw his hands up in the air then planted them on his head, he was being confusing— i mean, shouldn’t he be freaked out?? “what do you mean you were right!?” you asked louder— while you loved that he was happy, you wanted to know how the hell he knew!

he sat next to you, “you’re not— you’re not us. you’re supposed to be— you’re not supposed to be here!” he pulled out his phone, showing you a picture of… you? “this is amazing! i just— i can’t believe it. i mean, i knew you looked familiar, you sounded familiar, you acted familiar. but, i didn’t want to be wrong.” he was mumbling again, it was cute.

“am i…?” “you’re my favorite character!” he exclaimed. he was beyond happy— he was beyond thrilled.

“how did you get here? did you build some kind of machine? no that would’ve happened in the manga… what did you do? is this why the manga suddenly stopped?” he held your hands, wanting answers. you swear he was trying to kill you, his sweetness was almost suffocating.

“well uhm— there’s this thing called shifting where i’m from and uh… i did it and succeeded, i guess. i didn’t think it’d work but uhm… yeah. it did.” you felt a bit shy, was that weird? wanting to shift into this world? “so why did you want to do it?” he squeezed your hands, he was excited. should you tell him why? should you tell him it’s because you wanted to see him? would that be weird? that’d be weird, wouldn’t it? well— nothing could be as weird as… this.

“i uhm… i wanted to uhm uh see you.” god you wanted to die right then and there. “me? like— me me?” “uhm yeah… there’s no one else here…” he blushed— oh no he was weirded out— he must be. this was the end for you. “that makes me happy.” he whispered as his blush deepened

oh. oh. OH.

i hope this was what you were looking for!!

i had fun writing it!! i wanted to incorporate the stain fight bc it’s one of my favorites!!

#my hero academia x reader #boku no hero x reader #mha x reader #bnha x reader #izuku x reader #midoriya x reader #deku x reader #/ᐠ - ˕ -マ works — ♡︎#♡︎ — izuku anon

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