#the plot twist is that they’re actually both awful at talking about their feelings so they keep turning the conversation onto the other

[0vergrowngraveyard]

this just in: local blue hedgehog has to talk about his feelings because he can’t hide a damn thing from his little brother no matter how hard he tries to. and now for the weather

#graveyardtxt #wip #the plot twist is that they’re actually both awful at talking about their feelings so they keep turning the conversation onto the other #it’s a never ending cycle #sonic the hedgehog #miles tails prower #unbreakable bond #the brothers ever

[ssaalexblake]

I’d be interested in hearing your thoughts on the Ghost Monument. I know some people feel the stakes aren’t high enough, and that maybe if the racers were pitted against each other more it could be a more ‘interesting’ episode I guess, but I find the dynamics of the 2 guest cast to be interesting because they aren’t enemies, they’re not friends either but there’s not a desire to kill each other, because they are their out of necessity and to me that’s more then just being there out of ego or a prize. That surrounded by the history of the Stenza on the planet, it’s fascinating and one where I don’t think I’m fully across yet, so would be interested in hearing your thoughts.

Honestly, I was mostly just shocked that people thought this episode was bad? It wouldn't make my favourites list but there's literally nothing wrong with it either in plot or the execution of it imo. I enjoy it in a rewatch! It builds important dynamics and sets up important arcs. The foundation for the main characters are more firmly set.

Also, like, whatever peoples feelings on the stakes in this episode, it should be noted that The Ghost Monument as an episode has a dark twin. Its name is Ascension of the Cybermen. Narratively they function as a pair and the second one is supposed to be a lot darker with more stakes that shows the development of the characters, so you can't really do that if the first one is absolutely Go Go Go GO high stakes all the whole way through? The tonal difference belays the seriousness of the second episode. The contrast shows to demonstrate both how far the fam have come in AotC and how far 13 has fallen from TGM.

Not to say the sitch they're in in TGM isn't serious, it is, but this is not super stressful to the doctor, she's not, till the very end, scared she can't return them home or that they'll die (well. anymore than the doctor apparently normally is. The monologue in Once, Upon Time was fabulous but very sad). The fam are mostly just following 13's lead to get through this all figuring it's their best chance. In the second episode, they show their own initiative. In effect TGM is their training wheel episode that allows them to survive when the stakes get high.

The links between 11x01 & 2 and 12x09 & 10 give me Life. Such brilliant arching plot threads. Great bookends to Ryan and Graham's time on the show.

And really? This is a personal opinion, but disaster apocalyptic scenarios (which this is applicable to even if our group aren't natives of the place) where everybody lives in hell but just fight and try and kill each other as well as the environment trying to off them are just Bad. And belays an absolutely twisted view of us as a species. I feel like them all banding together when it gets tough and forming a community, if a very terse one where not everybody gets along, is actually an accurate portrayal of people in general. Even whatshisface Enzo or whatever joined the group he hated for safety because he was a lousy person, yeah, but he was Not stupid. I cannot stand grimdark crap like those zombie shows where people just kill each other en masse in their warring factions or whatever like the whole of human history isn't us forming societies and working together.

But speaking of whatever his name is, I feel like his contributions to the dialogue of the episode played an important part in delivering the themes they were going for, so making them fight instead would just have damaged the episode's core aims.

Mr 'I love my mum she taught me people are awful and selfish and horrible by breaking my trust and allowing me to get badly injured' is, congrats, the first person in this era to talk about his terrible mother whom 13 Immediately says sucks (gee i wonder why they did that. he even got hurt because he fell and his mum didn't save him). This is also the first time the cycle of abuse is mentioned because uh, the loser in the mother of the year competition did it specifically so it'd perpetuate itself in her son. This is the episode the timeless child is first mentioned. Considering the cornerstone of the arc is that this child in the end Broke that chain of abuse I do not consider this a coincidence. I'd bet him and his mother would think that Tecteun made that child Strong by what they did to them. 13 did Not like this man and she wouldn't, he's a dark mirror but also the victim of a really shitty mother.

There are other things i take note of in this episode. It's the first time out of post regeneration weirdness we see 13 really hit her stride. It's the first time we see her eschew pacifism as Her Thing despite the fact that she's already demonstrated her willingness to use violence with a few bombs the ep previous. Contextual morality. Reoccurring theme. It Wasn't a good idea to use violence in the situation she was in in TGM. Still doesn't make her a pacifist though bc lol, the bomb thing. So it's Kind of the first blatant portrayal of 13's private actions contrasting ones witnessed by the fam which are used to make her look better in their eyes. This will continue all season.

The stenza are now explicitly portrayed as violent colonizers as opposed to weird guys with the universe's most messed up election system. The lady is going through a race from hell is here to buy her loved ones out of the hell of their society. It's the first time the theme Properly pops up in the era. The first of many times. 13 continues to be a support to Ryan here, deepening their relationship. She's dad-ing him. She's not mad, she's disappointed! (she's also mad). She's also supportive of him.

I also think that 13 totally running out of ideas and thinking they're all gonna die at the end when the others disappear and the tardis does Not appear sets up something interesting. The fam, the ones who have been sceptical about her ability to save them this ep but still figure her as their best chance Immediately bolster her confidence and try and prop her up. They continue with the 'you've got this doc, we have faith in you!!' for a while after that, i assume they think she needs the morale boost? But I think it just leaves her with this terrifying pressure in the end?

She tries to let them know later on that this travelling is Dangerous and that they could get hurt but i think they have kind of started to buy into their own hype about her by then and aren't as worried as they should be. They think tim shaw is the worst of the worst the whole of s11 and 13 doesn't barely deign to acknowledge him bc he's so beneath her. So by the time the real bad guys pop out of the woodwork that Actually scare her the fam are overconfident in her ability to save them, which in turn eventually leaves them in the AOTC situation where they have to save themselves because she Cannot save them herself. She gave them an out before then and they didn't take it because they were not worried. I think the journey to that overconfidence starts right here.

I guess if i had to gripe it'd be that the scene where the two racers decide to take the prize together was Way too easy and more of a footnote in the story? There wasn't really another way this was going to end, but still. That seemed a little weakly done to me. I'd like a little bit more time devoted to it because it's not like i can't think of a few different scenarios to get here, it's just they'd have taken more screen time. In the end, I think that the episode had more important plot threads to go into so they just rushed it a bit. Maybe that's where people wanted more conflict? I don't want more conflict as much as a deeper discussion. They Didn't have a gripe with each other beyond that they were competing against each other and wanted to win and it didn't seem to occur to them that they could just share. But also, i've not watched this for a while. Maybe i'm misremembering, but i remember it feeling short to me.

idk, in the end it reminds me, weirdly, of Jurassic park where they're working their way across the park to the guest centre when all the dinos are escaped. Yes they're in danger and at times it's severe, but they have time to talk and bond and work together using their own skills as a group. The stakes Are high, there be monsters out to kill them and they want to go home, but it's also not 100% dire at all times. It hits the same mood for me.

This episode wasn't grim but it wasn't trying to be either so i guess if you Like grim it'd be a disappointment, but it did what it wanted to pretty well with setting stuff up and having a reasonable compelling episode plot.

Also... It's Super pretty. The bright sun. Glorious.

#13stardisposts #dw shit #dw meta #kind of #i mostly just talked #i like this ep and i'm mostly just surprised people object to it so much???

[absolutebl]

This Week In BL - The Rankings have CHANGED

Oct 2022 Wk 3

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying the most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

My Only 12% (Fri iQIYI) 11 of 14 - pretty disingenuous of iQIYI to muscle in an ad for its own app and not show it immediately serving ads to the boys. In other news, I still love Peak on screen, the years have not changed my delight in that boy. (I may need to do a Make it Right rewatch.) The question is does Cake feel left behind and jelly as a friend or is he actually in love with Eiw? And if he is, does he realize that about himself? The conflict is so good with this show, so well established, entirely based in characterization, and not an ounce manufactured. I couldn’t be happier it this BL got handed off this this pair, it was made for SantaEarth. I do think, since we got a ton of family life establishment (not to mention Love of Siam reference) that the big separation for these two will be family driven in ep 13. But first we get a whole ep of adorable boyfriends! Yay! 

Big Dragon (Sat Gaga) 3 of 8 - bathroom drama, naturally. This is a true enemies to lovers, these two spy on and bully each other. They even talk about non-consent. It’s the harshest version I’ve seen since China existed the field (aside from the Japanese dark stuff, of course). But also this show is using actual BDSM to drive plot and character (not just touring kink), the stuff Unforgotten Night couldn’t even dream of and Mame has never bothered to research. We got Dom voice, roll play, service submission, orders, humiliation. It all turned out to be a tease but the point was also to show these two have compatible kinks (which means compatible intellectual and physical chemistry, so the narrative arc is going to be around emotional chemistry) and that they both know the scene. Someone behind the camera knows what they’re filming too.The way these two transition between anger, resentment, titillation, and flirting (and the way, with kinksters, this can all be the same thing) is really well done. I guess what I’m saying, ultimately, it that this BL is proving itself to be a lot more sophisticated than I expected. I could not have loved the Domme rep more, quite frankly. I’m excited for next week as Big is playing the faen fatal and I love him. 

The Eclipse (Fri YT) 11 of 12 - A very tense 11 doom ep but also... off. I did see the twist for the teachers but not the students. That’s because the teacher twit was set up but the student betrayer twist was... not. If Thua was so into the truth why never tell it himself? The resolution was abrupt and most of the second half very odd. It made me wonder if this had a really intended to be a 15 episode arc, in which case they compressed the last 5 eps into 2? The pacing felt totally off from all the previous eps and the pool scene felt like reused footage.The rapid fire character and relationship changes and shifts in arcs was rushed and confusing. But the flirting and claiming was cute, I guess. Also horrible suspicion we may get a sad end now? Truth or another round of Bad Buddy suckering?

Ai Long Nhai (Mon iQIYI) 4 of 10 - I don’t know what to say about this show. I’m enjoying it but I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t be. (This happens to me a lot with pulps.) 

Ghost Host, Ghost House (Weds YouTube) 3 of 8 - Honestly I speed though all the ghost stuff for the few BL moments. But it’s worth it because Pluem delivers the softest most seductive krap ever and watching them flirt over noodles is an unalloyed pleasure. 

Remember Me (Sun Gaga) 2 of 8 - The BL parts are good, and JaFirst excel. But it moves incredibly slowly with way too many establishing shots, just like The Yearbook. If it’s Mean directing again, he’s gotta shake of the New-yoke right quick. 

Hard Love Mission (Sat WeTV) 1-2 of 4 - it’s a short run, so what not? Well because the subs are terrible, everyone looks like they should be in high school, the acting is awful, there’s a dumb feen fattale, the actor/seme seems to have been chosen on the basis of height not talent, and they already leaned in to awkward in a big way. On the bright side the uke is older then the seme and v cute, tropes are dropping thick and fast (there’s only one bed!), and the size difference is vast (if that’s a thing you’re into). All in all, it’s not good but what the hay? 

Work from Heart (Thurs YouTube) 5 of 7 - I like the lead pair better in this show then their last one but its nothing on JeffGame, and the lack of plot is challenging for me. 

Love in the Air (Thurs iQIYI) 9 of 13 - I still mostly think Pai’s a douche, but it’s nice to see him taking care of Sky, especially as Sky clearly needs someone to do it so badly. Still Sky could do better... and Pai still has to. DUMPSTER FIRE TRASH WATCH ALONG HERE.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

My Tooth Your Love (Taiwan Fri Gaga & Viki) 3 of 1 - Honestly it’s such a relief to watch something from Taiwan in amongst all the Thai folderol. I might be liking this that much more because it’s restful by comparison. I could not be happier with the bratty rich kid kissing a waiter to make a point to his parents. I know, consent, but also... great characterization. I fucking love the ultra-grumpy bar manager character. And the dentist with the sad eyes who worries too much. And our poor boy who needs a therapist more than a dentist. They are all so awkward and broken and CUTE. GAH!!! (I’m getting very @heretherebedork​ level emotional about this one.)

Roommates of Poongduck 304 (Korea Thurs Viki) 2 of 8 - Poor JaeYoon, HoJun is so mean to him. The camera work in this drama has much more voyeuristic gaze than most KBL. In other words, the directing of this show makes it feel a bit more genuinely gay than a lot of the other BL that comes from Korea. It is fun to watch these 2 slowly become friends. I wish we had enough time to watch them also slowly fall in love. But since this is KBL, that part will be a rush job.

Kabe Koji (Japan Mon Viki) 3 of 10 - I guess this episode was a little bit better. The show is just so painfully EXTRA. As is often the case with Japanese stuff, I keep feeling like there's bones of great story in this drama. And I get glimpses of it, but then it’s covered again - like tasty steak smothered in Kewpie mayo. Oh, Japan. 

It’s Airing But I’m Not Watching It

War of Y 20 eps - it’s just all too much for me.

My Roommate 32 eps of 2 minutes each + terrible production values? - I’m not bothering.

Fahlanruk (Sun GaGa) 12 eps - I cut my losses at ep 5. Someone can tell me if the 2nd half is worth it, after it finishes, but I’m not gonna bother to watch it every week. I don’t like any of the couples and the fujoshi framing is repulsive under the context of a narrative trying to be this authentically gay. I’ve lost all patience.

Oh My Sunshine Night 20 eps - I’m scared it’s gonna be sad, so I’m waiting for spies to tell me it’s safe, so far reported to be quite the soap opera.

To Sir With Love AKA Khun Chai 28 eps - dito

2 Moons 3 Thai (Mon ??) 10 eps - I searched for it in a lacklustre manner but couldn’t find it legally anywhere convenient. I will watch it if it’s easy to do so. Possibly as a binge. Rumor is it’s quite banal. 

SELF (Thurs ??) - same again without any rumors 

Wish Me Luck (Sat ??) - seems to have be delayed into next year

In Case You Missed It

That’s Work From Heart, The Staircase is back. 

Gossip

I’ll have more for you next week as I process the Nov release announcements. 

UWMA rewatch! The plan was: one UWMA ep a day for the 17 days before Between Us launches on Nov 6. However, I missed the start date (stupid work) so I’ll start tomorrow (Mon 24) and double down on the days when there’s no other BL airing (see calendar below). Wish me luck! 

The UWMA Praise Watch along (opposite of a Trash Watch) will happen here on this blog. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

October 2022 line up is here. 

This week’s best moments?

Ai Long Nhai serving up the Gay Advice Dads! 

That’s Aye for ya, brutally honest. 

I love a bit of self reference. 

I will love her forever. (Big Dragon) Viva la bisexual rep! 

Look could we please get a BL featuring this boy? I love him. 

Gay identity ownership in BL is still so rare, I cheer every time it drops. (My Only 12%) 

Ouch. 

(last week)

Current earworm? N.Flying - The Night (Pairs well with My Only 12%) 

#this week in BL #BL news #BL gossip #upcoming BL #best BL #worst BL #new BL #BL reviews #Thai BL #Korean BL #Taiwanese BL #Japanese BL #live action yaoi #Rakutan Viki #GagaOOLala #GMMTV #uwma #until we meet again watch along #Between Us #My Only 12% #Big Dragon #The Eclipse #Ghost Host Ghost House #Remember Me #Hard Love Mission #Work from Heart #My Tooth Your Love #Roommates of Poongduck 304 #Kabe Koji #N.Flying

[hasarjunadoneanythingwrong]

Idk if this asked but how do you feel about Bhima and Duryodhana? Did the writers do them well for fgo?

Bhimas profile is leaps and bounds better than arjuna’s (and tbh karna’s as well) to the point that it’s actually embarrassing for them. It actually gives an overview of who he is and most of the major notable legends of his! What a plot twist! #rewrite arjuna’s profile 2023 please god

That being said I’ve seen some people comment that it looks like that while they’ve finally acknowledged that one of the major inciting events of the war was draupdai’s harassment by duryodhana and the kauravas in the dice hall they only mention the part where he tries to get her to sit on his thigh, and not the attempted forced stripping (or dragging by her hair). Which *may* be worrying about nothing but… you know. The fact they also gave the kauravas a more ‘lovable rascal’ angle doesn’t make it a worry that comes from nowhere. I did talk to someone else about the bit where arjuna reminds bhima about his bow to crush duryodhana’s thighs and they pointed out that in some versions is IS him that prompts him, so while I’m still nervous it’s not…all awful?

Duryodhana isn’t bad either tbh. He’s got a nice mix of ‘I can see why some guys would hang around him haha’ and ‘wow yeah he’s literal scum’ which seems fairly believable, as even in the og text while he was on the side of adharma he still wasnt 100% evil all the time. There are some things I’m vaguely worried/annoyed about, like the fact they mention multiple times in both duryodhana’s profile and the newest chapter’s aside how arjuna killed Dushala’s husband (Jayadratha) but not. Why he did it. Which is kind of an important and crucial detail, because arjuna specifically swore vengeance on him for preventing him from reaching his son so a gang of other men could beat the boy to death. Ironically, at this point they’re actually avoiding mentioning the manner in which Abhimanyu dies even more than draupadi, possibly because it directly creates an issue with karna’s portrayal here and possibly bc…? Idk.

Overall I think they both seem pretty good, and I’m cautiously optimistic. I’m kind of disappointed that duryodhana was the ally we got the most time with over bhima (especially because bhima is literally on the ordeal call poster, like…what was that about then?) but I am cognizant of the fact that this is a gatcha and they do like…need to make the characters likeable in at least so manner so people want to roll for them. I have some anxieties (like from the few times he’s been mentioned it looks like they’re implying yudhisthira is a gambling addict, when it’s really more that he took the bet out of obligation, trying to be friendly to his cousin and knowing that the interaction was unavoidable) but overall it is a generally much more nuanced version than what we’ve had before. Still a bit more focused on and sympathetic towards the kauravas than I personally want but they’re shying away less and less from the fact that they’re terrible people. (Though I’d appreciate less guilt tripping with Dushala specifically as it feels weirdly pointed, like she was the only woman who lost family or something?)

#I personally think duryo beating bhim was stupit tho. sorry #he should get his ass beat 100 out of 100 times. imo #I do think a major stumbling block is ironically the one guy developed outside the gatcha game #bc he was first so they don’t want to contradict his stuff but his stuff plays very fast and loose w some of this #if abhi shows up do you think they’ll let karn also have been part of the death party. be honest w me #my asks

[worstloki]

Okay, this is gettin’ real screwed up here.

I watch a lot of TV. Probably too much. And I’ve seen characters beaten to their knees before, sometimes even with collars. And yeah, there’s usually someone standing over them, and it’s been a woman sometimes. The kind of scene we got in episode 5 of Loki is not new ground.

But here’s the thing. In EVERY OTHER SCENE I can remember like this, the person kneeling is the hero. They’ve been brought down, fully humbled before the sneering villain, and in a few minutes something will happen to get them back on their feet again. It’s usually a tense moment, a “what if they break?” that makes you want the hero to win. You aren’t rooting for, or even liking in some cases, the person standing. You’re cheering for the person on their knees.

This doesn’t seem to be the case with the Loki show. Yes, the viewers may be rooting for Loki, but there’s no hatred for Sif there. She’s not proved herself to be a cold, heartless villain, ruthlessly pounding the hero until all he can do is kneel at her feet.

Except…she did kind of do that. But it isn’t treated as something bad. It’s treated more as something Loki deserved, in my opinion. The show wants us to feel like he deserved to get repeatedly beaten up and told horrible things, just for cutting off a lock of Sif’s hair. I’ll grant, it’s peanuts compared to what happened to him in the mythology. But it’s still bad. Especially since they had him acknowledge it, repeat her cruel words back. They’re playing it off as if Loki is still the villain by himself, and is only good because of other people- Mobius, mostly, but Sif is part of that.

That’s not the way Loki’s character is. In the comics particularly, his biggest arcs are always about reinventing the labels given to him, changing “villain” into something good, something he can use, and doing it by himself. Yes, there’s outside influence, but ultimately Loki is the one who decided to change.

The show is not letting him do that. The show is portraying him as a stubborn jackass who refuses to change until other people show him the light- either with psychological torture presented as therapy, or with beating him up a bunch of times until he gives in. The show and its characters are forcing Loki to become good- they aren’t showing him doing it by himself. He is not becoming one of the good guys, he’s being essentially enslaved by them, and the show is passing it off as somehow all that good influence finally rubbed off on Loki’s cold, villainous heart. That’s why him betraying Mobius was shown as so bad even though Loki barely knew him and had been psychologically tortured by him- Mobius is written as a character who can choose to be good, and Loki is written as a character who must be forced to be good.

And something about an entire show revolving around an independent character being treated as a villain, literally enslaved by the “good guys” (back when the show still wanted us to think the TVA weren’t shady as all hell), beaten to his knees with a collar around his neck until he accepts that he deserves to be alone because he isn’t “good” like everybody else…that doesn’t go down right for me.

The TVA being presented in not just a neutral but often reliable light is something I thought would change once Loki literally called out their propaganda and Sylvie called them fascists, but, for some reason the authoritarian genocidalists are not being presented as a bad thing and it irks me too.

It's especially weird because of the way what Loki claims to have wanted by making choices for people and what Mobius claims the TVA do ARE THE EXACT SAME THINGS, except Loki, until the show, hadn't done that of his own volition and was being tortured during the invasion and is treated terribly for something he didn't even succeed in doing, while the TVA successfully erase events on a mass scale but are presented as having a higher (or at best, - equal) moral ground.

The exact same thing was done in Ragnarok where Loki's "turning point" from a tricksy villainous scoundrel happened because Thor left him frying on the ground and gave him a pep talk filled with lies and general slander about how he could be better - and people see that as good because Thor is framed as a hero, and it's because instead of accepting Loki is a complex character they take what the narrative tells at face value and that is that Loki fights the protagonist(s) so he's bad.

I personally don't like the narrative pushing a character that is canonically an abuse victim and attempted suicide and was tortured right after as someone who needs fixing because he's lusting for power and needs it to gain a sense of control during a retcon which is occurring for the sake of calling him a complete bad guy who needs to change (probably because no actual original character development could be thought of?) after he was just confirmed as queer and colloquially (i assume) called a narcissist because of twisted love.

That he deserves to be alone was presented neutrally as a joke even as he was repeatedly getting beaten to the ground, and then both people he could call friends were removed from his immediate vicinity right after.

Loki isn't being presented as a character that has done a huge mix of good and bad in the movies, he's being presented as an oft incompetent idiot that deserves what he gets because he shouldn't have run away from captors, or he cut Sif's hair, or he killed his mother, or he dared to think he had any importance or could do something good, because the truth is he's an evil lying scourge.

"But maybe," Mobius says, "Maybe he wants to mix it up. Sometimes you get tired of playing the same part. Is that possible? He can change?" And everyone's already forgotten that moments before the mission Mobius said to Loki's face that the TVA has pruned a lot of Loki variants because he's so nice! look! he has hope in him when no one else does! It's also easy to forget the "and hey, if it doesn't work, I'll delete him myself," right after because the guy was smiling through it and the scene is followed by Loki really badly trying to explain the logic of being a trickster who everyone knows is a trickster.

A lot of people payed more attention in Ragnarok than to the other Thor movies so it's not a new retcon and people seem fine with the extremely strange take that 'loki is bad but he can do good sometimes,' because the character is more animated and acts foolish and that's generally more fun for comedy, which is fair for people to prefer imo, people find different things entertaining.

But I do solidly hope the show doesn't go that way though and takes a side with Loki on the narrative stance eventually because I've seen a lot of people who just. miss that the TVA's concept is bad. And those who think they're "reforming" Loki. As if the guy needs anything but a break at this point lmao he only got away from Thanos like 2 days ago please just let him rest for a bit he's a fail villain and it's cringe to have your supposed 1st open queer character get beaten to a pulp by Sif and then put wack sexualizing shots for it too :/

it's like the show itself is trying to sell the angle of "Loki is a villain" and I'm a clown who is still wanting that to be intentional because if it is? It could be amazing and playing with how different parties are framed would be s p e c t a cu l ar and could encourage people to reassess the hero coding in other movies including ones Loki was previously in - but we're reaching the last two episodes and I don't feel like that'll happen.

I feel like even if Loki does reach the end of the show as a transformed person it'll be done leaving the audience with "perhaps you're not so bad after all, Loki," and then also give credit to Mobius or Sylvie or whoever else was involved, simply because as even of yet Loki hasn't taken on a lead role in the show. I'd argue he hasn't really contributed anything worthwhile to plot either. As you've said, he's being shown as someone who needs to change but isn't really motivated to. Aw man they better not make romantic love the reason he wants to change.

#no because they're framing things that are humiliating or demeaning as *casual* #I don't even care if they wanted fanservice in the show did it have to be THAT type??? #of course it did they don't take the character seriously or consider what they're doing with him despite his legitimate grievances #in a show where Loki's had literally no influence on the main plot but delaying it for the entirety of the Lamentis episode #if i was worse this is where i'd theorize about how Loki isn't a typical 'strong' hero and threatens the fragile masculine ideals of some #like........marvel the F*CK kind of message is this meant to send after Thanos throwing Gamora off a cliff was 'love' and Odin was 'strong' #they've made Loki be embarrassingly bad in fights too and what's up with that????? #''no look he's powerful see he just reversed time on an entire building on his own!!! now watch 2 guards hold him back <3'' #bro 2 guards aren't enough if loki wants to escape what movies were you watching bro #you want me to believe this is the guy that went toe to toe with thor and tie-lost because he had tears blurring his vision???? #nice try mcu im onto you your writing sucks #the Loki show #loki spoilers #loki show spoilers #im still reeling from Sylvie's backstory of BITING AND RUNNING and that she left the door to the TVA open for so long accidentally?????? #im enjoying the show but i'm not going to say it's a good show or even that I see Loki as in-character #he CAN CANONICALLY TELEPORT WHY THE FR*CK WERE THEY SITTING AND WATCHING LAMENTIS BLOW UP #he BROKE the tempad - their ONLY WAY OFF THE PLANET - which was stored in a POCKET DIMENSION - by falling TOO HARD ????? #EXCUSE ME???? #put some effort into the story you're trying to sell marvel #the logic with the timelines???? makes NO SENSE?????? #the TVA either has no clue what they're doing or the multiverse literally already exists and the sacred timeline continues to be lies #i want to strange Marvel #the entire thing is so entertaining though so im definitely enjoying #ThisPostIsLongerThanMyLifeSpan #TPILTMLS

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Nobody Left Behind

Prompt: So I don't know if you're taking requests? But I just watched Lilo and Stitch for the first time since I got into TSS and I've adopted the headcanon that it is Remus's *favorite* movie (and he's memorized the script) and I love your writing and I'd love to see something angsty involving Remus feeling lonely/unloved by his brother, and maybe Lilo and Stitch is involved somehow. IDK, go wild. (and feel free to ignore this if you aren't taking requests) <3 - anon

it is Le Fluff™ hours my good bitches

Read on Ao3

Warnings: Remus has some abandonment issues, but it’s not too much

Pairings: it is platonic all the way down, babes

Word Count:  2935

Ohana means family.

 Family.

 FamILY.

 What a weird word.

Sometimes it’s the people you’re born with. Well, not ‘with,’ not necessarily, but the people you are born to. A mother, a father, a sister, a brother. Sometimes two mothers, sometimes two fathers, sometimes a different parent. Sometimes two sisters, sometimes two brothers, sometimes a different sibling. Sometimes a mess of assorted people that all share the same blood. A family.

 Remus wasn’t born.

 He was made though, crafted and shaped and born out of the swirling chaos of a child’s mind that didn’t understand the world well enough without other people to help. He remembers getting cobbled together from scraps of thoughts and feelings and morphing them into limbs, into features, into something that vaguely resembled the body of the child he was made to fit. Not the ‘fitting’ was ever his job.

 Just his brother’s.

 Is his brother his family?

 By all accounts he should be, right? A brother is one of those people that are traditionally part of the ‘family’ group, right, someone to laugh with, cry with, fight with, live with. But is Roman really his…brother?

 That’s what they decided to call themselves because nothing else worked. They weren’t really brothers, they were halves. But they weren’t really halves because there was never a whole to begin with.

 The King wasn’t a ‘whole,’ he was…well, he was the King. Half of a king is not a prince. Half of a king is not a duke.

 Half of a king is a mess of blood and bones and viscera dripping off of the end of a Morningstar in the middle of the night when only a destroyed facsimile makes the insanity bleed away just enough to breathe again.

 The closest thing to twins, is what they decided on eventually. They’re twins. One light, one dark. One that marches boldly into danger to confront the wickedness of the world, one that dwells in the shadows and cackles with the demons nipping at his heels. One that loves, one that isn’t loved.

 Sure, they had some things in common. They both loved to fight, hence the scars and the bruises and the wounds that would never, ever heal, the distrust that would never be fixed ever, because the urge to sink their teeth into each other’s necks and rip never went away. They both loved to make, Roman the peaceful lies he tells himself to make up for the gaping wounds Remus leaves as he carves his perfectly tailored destruction. They both love Disney.

 Roman’s made it part of his whole deal as the Prince, he loves Disney. He bursts into song every chance he gets, drags the others in until the Mindscape rings with joyful song and there’s nowhere left for any sadness or darkness. He takes his lessons from it, models himself using the traits of the characters he admires most. Cultivates his art of storytelling, perfect to a tee.

 Remus loves Disney too. Loves how easy it is to twist the lens to distort the image just enough to let the darker parts of the Imagination run wild. What is the real implication of never growing old, never understanding what it means to die? What kind of person curses a ten-year-old boy for being cautious about who he answers the door to? What could the story have been if the prince never comes to save the day?

 When they were smaller it was fine. When they were still getting used to the fact that they weren’t King anymore, they used to sit and watch so many Disney movies. Roman’s favorite was always changing, one week it was Beauty and the Beast, then it was Mulan, then it was Cinderella, it never stayed the same.

 Remus’s was always Lilo and Stitch.

 Roman never understood it, said it was boring, there wasn’t a prince, there wasn’t anything exciting. Remus said that aliens were plenty exciting, thank you very much.

 But they would always watch it. The King wasn’t there anymore, but the prince and the Duke were.

 …when they were smaller, there was one time where the prince wasn’t there at all.

 Remus remembers waking up one day and feeling like he was being Split all over again. The maggots in his bones reached their awful little mouths into his heart and pulled, yanking him all the way across the bed and to the door, howling and screaming for his twin.

 Only to be met with a blank wall.

 He remembers howling at the top of his lungs until Janus had rushed to his side, kneeling down next to him and telling him shh, be quiet, hush now, you’re alright, you’re not hurt. And when he couldn’t explain that he was hurt, half of him was missing, Remus needed to go find him, Janus’s mouth had hardened into a thin line and told him that there wasn’t anything to worry about.

 He remembers thinking that was a lie.

 But it wasn’t. It wasn’t a lie.

 Roman was fine.

 Roman was more than fine, because Roman had a family.

 Roman had Patton, who is the actual manifestation of sunshine and rainbows and loved so much it almost burns. The darkness that wrapped around Remus’s corner of the Imagination screeched and hissed at the very idea of being loved that much, even as part of him strained with all its might to get to it. But Patton would never set foot near this side of the Mindscape.

 Roman had Logan, who represents everything true about the Mindscape, about Thomas, about the world. The reality of things that would never let anything Remus created make it anywhere close to anything important because it was dangerous, it was hurtful, and it was wrong. Logan wouldn’t want anything to do with something so useless.

 And that was okay. Because Roman may have been gone but Remus wasn’t alone. Remus had Virgil, who lived with fear soaking every fiber of his being. Remus had Janus, who wrapped himself in darkness and obscurity and laughed.

 But then Virgil left. And now Roman had Virgil, who used Thomas’s anxieties to keep him safe, to help Roman and the others figure out what to do, how to take care of everybody, and how to make the darkness go away. And Virgil would never willingly sink himself back into the darkness when he’d spent so long clawing himself out of it.

 But that was okay, because Remus had Janus. Janus, who plotted and schemed and smirked at how easily the others were pulled along by his strings, luring them deeper and deeper as Remus readied his Morningstar for the trap to be sprung.

 But then they sprung the trap and everything went wrong.

 Roman didn’t want to fight. He just…he let Remus knock him out and didn’t show up again except to scoff and say he didn’t like him.

 And that was…wrong.

 Because Roman wasn’t supposed to like him but he was never only supposed to not like him. Roman was supposed to declare that he wasn’t welcome and try and slash him with his sword. Roman was supposed to try and banish him from the Mindscape and spit insults at him until he left, cackling all the while. Roman was supposed to hate him.

 But Roman didn’t hate him, he just…he just said he didn’t like him.

 But that was okay, because Janus could just come up with a better plan with him this time. They could do it properly, and Roman would hate him again and it would be back to normal.

 But then Janus left. And now Roman has Janus, who keeps his eyes where the prince’s aren’t, when he can’t see what’s happening or he can’t bear to look, to help Roman figure out what to do when what seems to be happening isn’t anything that the prince is used to dealing with. And Janus would never willingly step away from a place that finally accepted him.

 Roman has them now. Roman has people that chose him. Roman’s family chose him. He chose them. They chose each other.

 Remus’s grip on his Morningstar slackens and the thing falls to the ground with a heavy clunk. He moves numbly through his room until he can fall to his knees on his bed.

 He just came from the living room. They were all there. Roman was talking with Logan, ranting about some new show they were both watching. Janus was in the kitchen with Patton, making something for dinner that everyone—well, almost everyone—could eat. Virgil was on the back of the couch, reaching out for Roman’s shoulder every once in a while.

Remus had waited behind the couch. For someone to sit down, for someone to see him and shriek, or even maybe—just maybe—for someone to ask where he was.

 But no.

 Patton had come over and gently ruffled Virgil’s hair, saying that dinner was ready. Logan and Roman had moved into the kitchen, demanding Janus’s attention and pulling him into their conversation. Virgil had murmured a quiet thank you and Roman had asked him for what?

 “Y’know,” Virgil had said, “for…this.”

 “Of course,” Roman had laughed, the soft rustle of fabric as he probably pulled the emo in for a hug—what did those feel like?— “I should be thanking you?”

 “What for, kiddo?”

 “I dunno, it just…feels like it’s been forever since we’ve all sat down for dinner together.”

 Remus’s chest had started to hurt.

 “The whole family.”

 The whole family.

 Remus’s eyes well up with stubborn tears and he angrily swipes them away, baring his teeth at the memory and focusing intently on the things on the bed. Each hand-stitched, each carefully kept clean.

 His family.

 He reaches out with a shaking hand and tucks the blue frog plushie into the crook of his arm, crawling into the middle of the bed and balancing the purple spider on his shoulder. His hands keep shaking as he wraps the long yellow snake securely around his neck, clutching the head under his chin and nuzzling it protectively. The dark blue cat he holds in his other hand, careful not to tear its tie as he scrunches in on himself.

 Wait.

 Wait.

 Where is it?

 No, no, no, no—

 Remus growls, placing all of his family gently on the floor before all but tearing at his sheets. Where is it, where is it, where is it—his heartbeat starts to rise as his search grows more frantic, where is it, where is it—

 The slightest little puff of red hair and he howls, lunging for it and sweeping it into his lap. He pauses to make sure the lion’s crown didn’t fall off and sighs when he sees it still in place. He sets the lion between his legs and leans over, adjusting everyone back into place and scrunching himself into a ball again. He rubs his nose against the lion’s fur and nuzzles into the soft fabric.

 He’d never be able to forgive himself if he lost them.

 Because Ohana means family.

 Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

——————————————————

There’s a knock on his door.

 Why is someone knocking on his door?

 They knock again.

 Remus looks up, carefully butting the spider out of the way with his head and sitting up. The snake hangs off his shoulder and he lets it, only missing its warmth once the knock sounds again.

 The frog and the cat watch him warily as he climbs out of bed, the lion clutched in his hand.

 The door squeaks slightly as he opens it.

 “So, I’ve got popcorn, I found the weird gummy snakes, and they had this chocolate-covered bacon which we have to try—Remus?”

 Roman?

 Roman stands there, his arms full of snacks and blankets, his head tilted. He glances behind Remus—probably to check something or other—and then back at him.

 “Remus? Are you okay?”

 “Why are you here?” Roman doesn’t like him.

 “It’s movie night, Re, of course, I’m here.” Roman chuckles nervously before taking in his tear-stained face. “Hey, Re, what’s going on? Are you okay? Can I come in?”

 Why is Roman here? Roman has his family, what is he doing here? With Remus?

 “Remus—“ oh, right, Roman’s talking to him—why is Roman talking to him?—in a soft voice now— “Remus, hey, look at me.”

 Remus blinks. Oh. Roman looks concerned now, he’s reaching for him.

 “Hey,” he murmurs as he ruffles Remus’s hair, “what’s going on? Have you been crying?”

 Remus nods dumbly.

 “I’m sorry, Re, can I help?”

 Help? Why does Roman want to help?

 Oh, he’s waiting for an answer.

 “…sure.”

 “Thank you,” Roman says softly, “can I come in?”

 Remus steps aside wordlessly and Roman walks in, pausing when he sees the rest of Remus’s family on the bed.

 “Did you make them?”

 Something dark twists in Remus’s chest as he sees Roman reach for the spider.

 “Don’t.”

Roman backs off, stepping back as Remus snatches up his family and cradles them in his lap, glaring at Roman and curling up on the bed.

 “I won’t, Re, I’m sorry,” Roman says, still speaking softly, “can I sit?”

 “…floor.”

 Roman sits on the floor, setting aside the blankets and snacks, looking up at him. He still looks concerned. Why? Roman doesn’t like him.

 “Why weren’t you at dinner,” he asks gently, “I was worried.”

 Worried? About him? Remus snorts.

 “You had your whole family there,” he spits, “why would you worry?”

 “But you weren’t there,” Roman says like that makes any difference, “so I was worried.”

 Remus shakes his head. Roman doesn’t get it. Roman doesn’t worry about him, he worries about other things. But if Roman wants to know why he wasn’t at dinner, he’ll tell him.

 “I was with my family.”

 Roman’s brow furrows as he glances around again. “…your family?”

 Remus huddles protectively around his family. “Yes. My family.”

 Roman’s eyes widen as he takes in Remus’s posture and how he reacted when Roman asked about them earlier.

 “…are they your family, Remus?”

 “Yes.” He holds them tighter. “I chose them. They won’t leave me. They won’t forget me. That’s what family means.”

 Something crosses Roman’s face and he lets out a wounded noise. Wait. Are they fighting?

 “Wait, Remus,” he murmurs, rising up to his knees, “did you—did you think we forgot you?”

 “You did forget me.”

 “I’m sorry, Remus, I would’ve come to look for you, but I thought—“ Roman shakes his head— “no, it doesn’t matter what I thought. I should’ve come got you, Re, I’m sorry, I—I didn’t mean to leave you behind.”

 Oh.

 “…you didn’t?”

 Roman shakes his head furiously. “No, Remus, I promise. I never meant to leave you.”

 “But everybody leaves me.”

 If possible, Roman’s eyes are now wider and he scrambles for the edge of the bed. “What do you mean, Remus, what do you mean everybody leaves you?”

 “You left. Virgil left. Janus left. Everybody left.” The lion’s mane brushes against his lips as he bows his head. “But not them. They won’t leave me.”

 “Oh, Remus—“

 Something big lunges at him and Remus whimpers, he doesn’t have his Morningstar, he doesn’t want to fight, he doesn’t—he doesn’t—

 What’s happening? He feels warm and he’s being squished and Roman is pressing himself against him and what—what—

 “What’re you doing?”

 “It’s a hug, Remus,” comes Roman’s voice, slightly muffled, from over his shoulder, “I’m hugging you.”

 Oh.

 Oh.

 “R-Ro?”

 “Yeah, Re, I’m here, I’m right here, I won’t forget you, I won’t leave you behind, you’re my brother, you’re my family, I choose you.” Roman’s grip tightens on him and Remus just about gasps. “I choose you and I want you and I like you.”

 Roman…Roman likes him?

 Roman chooses him?

 Roman won’t…leave?

 “No, Remus,” Roman promises as he cautiously asks, “I won’t leave. Not unless you want me to.”

 “No.”

 “Then I’m not going anywhere.”

 That’s it.

 Remus throws his arms around his twin and sobs, cries an entire ocean of tears into his brother’s shoulder because he’s here and he cares and he chose Remus. The darkness shudders as that small part of him surges forward, into Roman’s chest, finding a home in the prince’s heart and languishing in the warmth there.

 “I’m right here, Re,” Roman murmurs, stroking up and down his back, “right here, I’ve got you.”

 The snake drapes itself cautiously over Roman’s shoulder, the spider taking up watch on his knee. The cat and the frog stare at him, making sure he isn’t lying, that he won’t change his mind. The lion, sandwiched between them, feels the reassuring rumble from Roman’s chest and purrs.

 After a long, long time, Remus pulls back a little and scuffs a hand over his nose.

 “…did you say something about chocolate-covered bacon?”

 Roman’s smile lights up.

 “Let’s put on Lilo and Stitch and we’ll try it.”

 Ohana means family.

 Family means no one gets left behind.

 Or forgotten.

General Taglist:@frxgprince @potereregina @reddstardust @gattonero17 @iamhereforthegayshit @thefingergunsgirl @awkwardandanxiousfander @creative-lampd-liberties @djpurple3 @winterswrandomness  @sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes  @iminyourfandom  @bullet-tothefeels  @full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind @demoniccheese83  @pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious  @firefinch-ember  @fandomssaremysoul  @im-an-anxious-wreck  @crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch  @enby-ralsei  @unicornssunflowersandstuff  @wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams  @averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb  @cricketanne  @aularei @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws @cecil-but-gayer  @i-am-overly-complicated  @annytheseal  @alias290  @tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance @whyiask @crows-ace @emilythezeldafan @frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires @cyanide-violence @oonagh2 @xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx @rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734 @triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo @cerulean-watermelon @puffed-up-bees

If you want to be added/taken off the taglist, let me know!

#dragonbabbles #sanders sides #fic #remus sanders #roman sanders #they're the main focus #creativitwins

[reidingmelodies]

His God-Given Solace (Part II)

Summary: Derek and Penelope are determined to make you and Spencer realize your feelings- turns out, they’re a bit behind.

Genre: Fluff Word Count: 4.1K Pairings: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader; Penelope Garcia x Derek Morgan Includes: Kissing, Light Mentions of Food/ Alcohol, Brief Mention of Injury A/N: Thanks for all the love on part one, ily all tons ♡

Something was different.  It was obvious in the way Spencer’s cheeks no longer matched the color of rubies when your name was mentioned.  It was especially prevalent in the way you no longer fought Penelope when she claimed you were in love with Boy Wonder, instead opting to shrug and walk away with a ‘whatever you say, Pen’ thrown in her direction.

Thinking back on it now, Penelope couldn’t even remember the last time the two of you had interacted during work hours unless it was for a case.  Her and Derek had been working overtime at getting the two of you together for the past few months, but as far as she could tell the only thing they’d done was pull you both apart.

***

Four Months Ago:

“We need to do something, Der!  You should’ve seen Y/N when I mentioned her having feelings for Spencer this morning- it was so obvious” Penelope’s voice was hushed, eyes steadily fixed on the doorway as Derek sighed and rested his palm on her shoulder.

“I know,” he murmured, fingers steadily tracing patterns over the wool of her cardigan, “Reid was the same way.  I don’t know what else we can do besides let them figure it out themselves though”.

A twinkle made its way to Penelope’s eye, mind already swirling with the ways she could prematurely force the two of you to admit your love.  

With a raise of her brow she stood, fingers moving to dance along the edge of her lover’s jawline “Are you doubting my skills, Derek Morgan?”

His heart skipped a beat, putting a silent prayer of thanks into the universe for blessing him with the goddess that is Penelope Garcia.  “Never, baby girl”, he let out in a gentle murmur, sealing his affirmation with a series of light kisses against her fingertips.   

She beamed, pulling her fingers from his lips and instead using them to clutch the warm fabric of his collar and effectively bringing his lips closer to hers.  She sealed the gap between their lips with bated breath, feeling time stop as she relished in the feel of his lips much like it did the first time they shared a kiss, and with each of the infinite amount of kisses they’ve shared since.

His left hand found purchase in the strands of her hair, his right swiftly moving to pull her hips flush against his.  As a slight gasp left her lips he inwardly shivered, mind quickly moving to contemplate the chances of them losing their jobs for initiating some very not safe for work behavior.  Luckily for both of them (because there was no way they were going to stop on their own accord), the clearing of a throat in the doorway snapped them both out of their reverie.

Their lips separated with the force of two opposing forces, bodies moving to leave a foot of space in between as they laid eyes on their intruder.  Spencer was leaning against the doorway, shrinking into himself as his eyes roamed the room and a rosy-red hue made its way up his neck.  

He cleared his throat, sparing a glance at the couple on the opposite side of the room.  “I- I um- I hate to break up this love fest... but we’ve got a case”.  With that, he turned on his heel and made his way to the conference room as fast as his feet would carry him.  

Derek and Penelope swiftly followed in silence, but not without sharing a grin behind their friend’s back.   

And as the two of them sat around the round table waiting for Hotch to begin the briefing they couldn’t help but notice the way you and Spencer gravitated towards one another.  Your body found home in the seat next to his, both of your torsos twisted to face the other as he whispered something in your direction, no doubt regaling his tale of the compromising position he had found Derek and Penelope in.  

You stifled your laugh under your hand, his lips twisting into a smile as a result of your happiness.  The love was ever prevalent between the two of you, and as Derek and Penelope locked eyes a silent conversation took place between the pair: Let’s do this.

The days that followed found the team in Boston, the nights bleeding into mornings as the team was entirely buried in a case.  On day six, the capture of the unsub as well as the saving of three hostages left the team in a state of bliss that Penelope took full advantage of in the hours before her family arrived home, busying herself with plans to unite the most stubborn people she knows.

And later that night, as she found herself cuddled into Derek’s side enthusiastically catching him up to speed on her ideas, a plan was officially put into action.

***

Three Months Ago:

“Hello my loves!” Penelope’s vivacious voice carried through the bullpen, her hands coming to rest on the back of the chairs you and Spencer were currently lounging on.

You glanced up at her, a smile immediately breaking out on your face as you took in the charismatic expression on her face.

“Hey Pen!” you whirled around in your chair, swiveling to face her as Spencer did the same.

“What are you two up to tonight, say around 7 or so?” She questioned you both, inquisitively observing the way Spencer’s eyes immediately gravitated to yours as if the answer to all of life’s mysteries laid in your hands. 

Your eyes found his, and as the seconds passed Penelope felt as though she was intruding on a silent conversation.  She watched as his eyebrows rose in your direction, your head slightly nodding in response and the smallest of smiles gracing both of your features.

“I’m free, so whatever you’re planning I’m in,” you declared with a smile and Spencer’s nod of agreement followed, albeit much more hesitant than your own.

The desire to ask about whatever it was that just transpired between the two of you was strong, but she and Derek had agreed that they’d be in charge of situation making but leave the actual falling in love part to the two of you. 

She was definitely regretting that choice now.

“Great!” She started, placing her hand on her heart and leaning in close to her favorite lovebirds, “because Derek and I are going to see a movie tonight and I just know you’ll both love it!”

Spencer’s brows furrowed as he looked up at her, “What movie is it?  If it’s the new sci-fi about the explorations of space then you’re definitely right.  Did you know that they based the entire premises of the movie on Explorer 1?”

“I didn’t know that Boy Genius, but what I do know is you’re gonna have a great time tonight even though that’s not the movie we’re seeing,” on that note she left the pair to her own devices, but not before hearing you tell Spencer that the movie he was talking about seemed interesting and you should definitely go see it together (but not without teaching you about Explorer 1 first).

Yeah.  You were definitely in love with him.

***

The movie was the definition of awful.  The acting was brutal, the plot made no sense, and Penelope couldn’t believe this was the number one romance movie in the country.

What wasn’t awful though?  Watching yours and Spencer’s romance come to life two seats down from her.  

Penelope’s fingers were intertwined with Derek’s, his thumb tracing patterns against her skin.  She nuzzled her head in the space between his neck and shoulder, laying a kiss on the fabric of his shirt as she twisted her body towards his, eyes drifting towards her favorite couple-to-be on the other side of him.

“As much as I wish this cuddle was just for me, baby,” Derek mumbled against her hair, “you’re using me to take a peek at Pretty Boy and his Pretty Girl aren’t you?”

She let out a noise of affirmation, lifting her head for a slight second to peck his lips before returning to the warmth that seemed to always radiate from his body.  “Mmm-hmm and it’s working.  Now let me spy in peace”.

Derek chuckled, taking a moment to look at you and Spencer from his vantage point.  Spencer was sitting to the right of him, a container of popcorn settled on his lap.  Every now and then your fingers would inch towards the bucket to grab a few pieces of your own, but not without brushing against his arm each time.

Derek watched as Spencer’s cheeks flushed each time your skin made contact with his, each flush accompanied by the brightest smile he’d ever seen on his friend’s face.  He watched as you stole a glance up at Spencer whenever you thought he wasn’t looking, your lips slightly parted as you admired his soft features.

And later that night, when he and Penelope were lightly swinging their joined hands and observing the two of you from a short distance?

The mumbled conversations about space and the lingering glances between the two of you left one thing for certain in the couple’s eyes- you were definitely in love.

***

Two Months Ago:

“So, I was thinking we can have the team over for board game night,” Penelope’s voice rang from the bathroom as Derek got settled into their bed.  

He shook his head, knowing exactly where his girlfriend was going with this, “and by the team you mean Reid and Y/N, right?”  

Her melodic laugh met his ears, and he knew then and there that he got it right in one shot.  He watched as she made her way into the bedroom, sitting on the edge of their bed to brush her hair.

She turned to look at him, letting out a brief sigh.  “I thought they’d be together by now, I don’t know what they’re waiting for!  But last time we said anything they were all weird about it and just- ugh!” Her head fell back against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her torso and laid a brief kiss on her head.

“As much as I love those two, I’d rather we didn’t talk about them in our bedroom, babe,” he smiled as she turned in his arms, her face moving until it was within an inch of his own.

His lips puckered, eyes slightly closing as he felt her warm breath fan over his mouth.  As her lips brushed against his own he moved his hand to grasp her cheek, but when deepened the kiss she pulled back until her lips were just out of reach of his.

“Does this mean we can host game night on Friday?” she asked in the most innocent voice she could muster, lightly drawing her fingers down his side until he flipped them over, leaving his figure looming over hers.

“We can do whatever you want Baby Girl- just kiss me already,” he let out with a groan.  And, well, who was Penelope to turn down a request like that?

***

Friday night came, and Derek found himself sitting between Penelope and JJ on the sofa, his gaze steady on your figure as you wiped away tears of laughter from the corner of your eyes.  Spencer was jumping up and down, trying to give you all as many hints as he could at his word, but so far all he was doing was creating the perfect ammo for future blackmail attempts.

“Spence, what are you even doing?” JJ laughed from her spot next to Derek, falling into Emily’s arm that rested on the edge of the sofa as the two let their screeches of joy reverberate off the apartment walls.

Derek joined in, letting out a chuckle of his own.  “Are you supposed to be a kangaroo or something?”

He watched as Spencer’s cheeks began to brighten, his jump faltering and his arms beginning to rise as he tried to think of another way to get his point across.  

Turns out, there wasn’t a need as you leaned back from your spot on the floor and gently shoved Derek’s knee.  He playfully scoffed, meeting your eyes as you glanced up at him.  “Alright, Y/N, what do you think he’s doing then?”

A widespread grin made its way to your face and you tilted your head to lock eyes with Spencer.  “Easy,” you proclaimed, “he’s pretending he’s in a mosh pit”.

A breathless “what?” left Emily’s lips at that, and even Hotch looked at you in confusion at your guess.  

“Kid, I doubt that’s what he was doing,” Rossi started to let you down gently, only to have Spencer triumphantly place a piece of paper in his hand, the words mosh pit scrawled across the center in Penelope’s handwriting.  

“Yes!  I knew if anyone would get that it’d be you”, Penelope’s praise left a permanent smile on your face, one that only seemed to grow as Spencer claimed his spot next to you on the floor, his thigh coming to rest against yours.

Derek raised his brow in his girlfriend’s direction, a light squeeze of his thigh accompanied by a silent promise of I’ll tell you later.  He brushed her hand in understanding, laying his focus on the pair in front of him for the time being.

The nervousness that was present a month prior at the movies was no longer there, instead replaced by an almost familiar sense of comfort between the two of you.  When your hand brushed against Spencer’s as you gestured with your hands in the midst of a story he simply smiled, completely embracing the feeling of your skin against yours.

And when his palm brushed against your back later that night as you were putting your coat on there wasn’t a blush in sight.  The actions spoke volumes to Derek, the comforting nature of your reactions a far cry from where the two of you were a month prior.

It was an odd change in pace, one that threw him for a loop because since when was Dr. Spencer Reid comfortable with casual touches?

In Derek’s mind, there was only one explanation that made sense- it was love.

***

One Month Ago:

So, maybe it wasn’t love.  Maybe she and Derek were completely off their game, instead pushing two friends into something neither actually wanted.  At least that was the only reasonable explanation Penelope could find for the two of you still not dating.  

Her and Derek had tried everything.  After she heard about how comfortable you both had been the month prior at game night she was convinced that you had admitted your feelings for each other behind closed doors.

Now though?  Now it was like you barely spared a glance at each other unless it was an absolute necessity.  Casual touches had become a thing of the past, the space between the two of you widening with each wayward glance cast your way.

She made it a habit to bring Spencer up in conversations with you, and likewise with him, as often as she could, but she was met with a diplomatic response each time, you face schooled into a poker face so perfect she thought you were both taking lessons from Hotch.

As she made her way home with Derek that night she couldn’t help but bring up the thought had been plaguing her mind. “I just don’t understand how a few months ago I was telling you he looked at her the same way you looked at me and now it’s like they’re strangers”.  Her tone was quiet, head downturned in defeat as she thought back on the past few months versus the past two weeks.

A hum of agreement left Derek’s lips, his hand leaving the steering wheel to give hers a subtle squeeze.  “I don’t think they’re strangers, baby- there’s definitely something there but maybe they just need some space from our constant hovering.  Trust me, she’s still His God-Given solace,” he smiled at the chuckle that left her lips before he continued “even if they’re both in denial”.

“They really are in denial, aren’t they?”  Penelope laughed, laying a kiss on his cheek once they reached a red light.  “Thank you, my love,” she whispered.

“Anything for you, P, you know that,” he responded with a slight smirk, “even helping you and your schemes”. 

***

The spying continued in the gentlest of ways ten days later when the pair found themselves face to face with the two of you at the end of a rough case.  Penelope was waiting for the team at the elevator when you arrived, her arms instantly flinging to wrap around Derek.

His lips found solace in her hair, the scent of her shampoo and the overall feeling of home already bringing color back to the dreary state of his heart.

“How is she?” Penelope whispered against his neck, hand moving to gently rub his back.

Derek sighed, shifting his head to steal a glance at you.  You were leaning against your desk, your eyes glazed over as you examined the stitches on your hand.  You had come face to face with the unsub during the last case, and while you were lucky to escape with a concussion and a deep laceration to your hand it was too close of a call for comfort.

He sighed as he watched a tear escape your eye and moved to take a step back from Penelope to check on you.  But before he moved an inch, Spencer was there with his hands gently cradling your head as you cried into his shoulder.

Derek watched as your arms encircled his neck, your fingers making contact with the loose strands of Spencer’s hair.  He watched as Spencer’s lips brushed against your ear, his mouth moving with unheard words of reassurement.  

You nodded as he pulled away, and the smallest of smiles graced your lips for the first time since you boarded the plane nearly a week and a half ago.  Spencer grinned in return, his hands grasping the purple scarf wrapped around his neck, swiftly moving to wrap it around yours instead before he pulled you in for yet another hug.

The tears were still trekking down your cheeks, but the slight smile remained as you closed your eyes and nuzzled into his chest.  There was no doubt in Derek’s mind as he watched the two of you together again after weeks of avoidance.

“She’ll be just fine, Sweetness,” he murmured against the top of Penelope’s head, sparing one last look at you and Spencer finding solace in one another in the middle of the bullpen.

And well, comfort like that?  It could only mean one thing- it was love.

***

Present Day:

As if no time had passed at all, Penelope and Derek found themselves back at the bar that had started it all.  In the weeks after your recovery you and Spencer had begun to distance again, the memories of the night Derek had witnessed him comforting you resembled a long lost dream at this point.  If Penelope hadn’t looked back at the footage to see it for herself, he would have thought he made it up entirely.

Nowadays, they were lucky if the two of you talked during a case.  

But, something else was different that night.  Penelope watched as Spencer excused himself from his conversation with Hotch, leaving the table to ‘get some air outside’.  It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, but what was unexpected was the way you left the table to ‘use the bathroom’ only to turn left instead of right once you got there and heading out the doors Spencer had disappeared from.

And, well, there was no way Penelope wasn’t going to check that situation out.

She laid her palm against Derek’s thigh, playfully rolling her eyes as he wiggled her eyebrows in his direction.  

She tilted her head towards the door once their eyes fully met, an unspoken command of let’s follow them dancing between their bodies.  With one last sip of his beer, the two excused themselves and made their way out the door that had been graced with yours and Spencer’s presence only moments earlier.

The chill of the night air caused a shiver to run up Penelope’s arms, but nothing prepared her for the jolt of energy that ignited her soul when she spotted you and Spencer intertwined a few steps away.

Your hands laid their claim on Spencer’s torso, one bringing him closer to you by the back of his collar while the other remained settled against his side.  His left hand continuously drew patterns on the plain of your side while his right held your face still and his lips hungrily moved against yours.  The two of you were entirely lost in one another, the rest of the team clearly the last thing on either of your minds.  It was a kiss of familiarity, and in that moment Penelope knew she and Derek had been played.

Her mouth dropped open, her eyes meeting Derek’s who looked just as dumbstruck as she was.

“I-I’m sorry what’s happening here?!” Her sudden screech of shock caused you and Spencer to look up, both of you jumping five feet apart as if that would erase her memory of the kiss she just witnessed.  

She stepped forward with a hand on her hip, eyes moving up and down yours and Spencer’s figures while she committed your look of guilt to memory.

“And just how long have the two of you been keeping this from us?”

The visible swallow in your throat explained everything she needed to know.

“A month? Two? Three?” Her onslaught of questions continued as Derek stepped forward and placed an arm around her waist, chuckling at the look on both of his faces.

“It’s um,” Spencer cleared his throat and moved to give your hand a squeeze (and Penelope just barely kept from jumping up and down at that). “It’s been 3 months, 17 days, 12 hours, and 27 minutes if we’re um- if we’re being technical”.

Derek’s hand clapped his friend’s shoulder, a proud grin overtaking his features.  “Look at you, Pretty Boy!  I had no clue you had it in you”.

“I’m so happy for you guys!” Penelope’s praise released the tension in your shoulders, her acceptance all that mattered in that moment.

“Which one of our plans worked? And why were you acting like you hated each other?!  We were so worried!”

“Wait what are you talking about?” Your nose crinkled in confusion at her questioning, turning to Spencer who looked just as confused as you felt.  “We were trying to stay away from each other at work to keep things professional- but back to the important part- you guys made plans?”

Derek shook his head, gesturing towards Penelope with his right hand, “that’s all you, Baby Girl”.  

She rolled her eyes at him, before facing you and Spencer, “when did you guys get together?  Was it after the movie?  Ooh or was it game night?!”

You laughed, thinking back on all the times you had caught them staring at you over the past few months.  “No, actually- we ended up talking about how you thought I was in love with him about two weeks after we went to the bar a few months ago?  Then Spencer told me Derek said the same and we realized you were right.  We went on a few dates, and then that was that”.

Derek’s lips parted slightly, looking between the two of you in wonder.  Because how two of the most clueless people in the FBI were able to get together so smoothly and keep it a secret was one of the greatest mysteries he’d ever heard.  “That’s it?”

Spencer nodded, giving your hand a gentle squeeze.  “That was it.  We’re gonna head back inside.  I guess it’s time we tell everyone else?”  He threw a questioning glance your way and at your eager nod you both left Derek and Penelope standing in shock on the otherwise deserted street. 

Penelope faced Derek, letting a laugh escape her lips at the absurdity of the situation.  “So... we’re gonna consider this a win for us, right?  This is our doing?”

A kiss was placed to her temple, Derek’s eyes portraying nothing but love and admiration for the woman in front of him.  “It’s definitely our win, Sweetness”.

***

Permanent Taglist: @calm-and-doctor @reidyoulikeabook @shadyladyperfection

Spencer Taglist:  @averyhotchner

HGGS Taglist: @bvttercupbby @padsfirewhisky @nighttimerain123 @harryspatternedshirts @liveloudwriteloud @sassy-hades @crankyhoefromtheyear3000 @m0thg1rl

Link to join my taglist ♡

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid x y/n #derek morgan x penelope garcia #morcia #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #criminal minds self insert #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fluff #ash writes

[hakasims]

The Most Important Review of Every Single Marwan Kenzari Film

If you’ve seen this one about Luca, you know the drill.

Now, Marwan’s brand is a little less defined than Luca’s but I managed to find similar tropes in a lot of his films. Also, rather than copy myself and give you a redundant Marwanmeter, I decided instead to recommend which Luca character best pairs with each Marwan character for your crossover pleasure. Let’s see if we ship the same things! Some of them are crack. You’re welcome.

(all gifs again by the awesomely amazing @weardes​ who did not ask to be my gif factory but life’s a bitch)

Het zusje van Katia (2008)

Will you miss him if you blink? Kinda. They talk about him a lot but his actual screen time is like 43.7 seconds. Also can I just say... he’s supposed to be from Italy?? The boy says literally one (1) Italian word, and you’ll never guess what it is. (Obviously, it’s “bella” like there’s a chance he could’ve said anything else.)

Is he hot? Painfully hot.

Is he naked? There’s this one scene where he’s wearing the sluttiest pair of speedos I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

Does his hair look great? Actually, yes. Perfect hair, perfect beard, he looks amazing.

Does he fuck? Yes, a lot - off screen, including an M/M/F threesome he presumably, probably, most definitely initiated.

Best paired with? From what I’ve gathered, this hoe ain’t loyal, so the best course of action is to find him a Luca that would benefit from a one night stand with no strings attached and wouldn’t fall in love with him. The obvious choice here is Valerio from Slam - Tutto per una ragazza. They meet, they fuck, then Giac makes his 4-hour drive back to Pisa, and they don’t see each other again until the next time he’s in Rome. Everybody’s happy, especially the two sluts in question.

De laatste dagen van Emma Blank (2009)

Will you miss him if you blink? Yes, absolutely.

Is he hot? Very.

Is he naked? Almost constantly.

Does his hair look great? He’s got those cute short curls, he looks so good.

Does he fuck? That’s literally why he’s there: to fuck and to die.

Best paired with? Man, I wish I had something to work with here. The only thing we know about him besides his sexual prowess is his affinity for white suits and toy helicopters. And as far as I know, those might be the exact things Fabrizio from Nina finds hot in guys. So like, why not?

Loft (2010)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s the fifth most important character.

Is he hot? Yeah, sure.

Is he naked? There’s a scene where he’s wearing underwear and a tank top but it somehow makes him look like a kindergartener.

Does his hair look great? It looks quite nice.

Does he fuck? Yes, though I wish he didn’t.

Best paired with? Tom is a very violent person and a drug addict. He does messed up stuff to his sexual partners I’d rather he didn’t do to any of Luca’s characters. Feel free to use him for your sadistic fantasies or as a villain or whatever.

Rabat (2011)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s one of the three leads.

Is he hot? Oh yes! And cute!

Is he naked? He’s at the beach wearing nothing but boxer shorts.

Does his hair look great? He’s got this extreme undercut thing that would look ridiculous on anyone less pretty, so like no, he doesn’t have great hair, but also like it’s Marwan, you know what I mean?

Does he fuck? Before he embarks on a road trip with his friends, he has an offscreen threesome with two girls he picked up at a wedding. Slut.

Best paired with? Gabriele from Waves. They’re both sweet guys who could meet in some Tunisian port and decide to sail the Mediterranean Sea together.

Black Out (2012)

Will you miss him if you blink? Not unless your blinking is very deliberate.

Is he hot? Not really. He’s a dirty cop with a shitty moustache and oral fixation.

Is he naked? No, but I wish he was: his clothes are awful. Marwan is 29 in this movie and he looks 50!

Does his hair look great? Nope. They took Marwan’s usual short hair and made it not work somehow.

Does he fuck? No.

Best paired with? The one thing Luca’s characters all have in common is that none of them come off as bootlickers. All of them are either too soft for such a relationship or wouldn’t waste their spit on a cop.

Wolf (2013)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s the protagonist.

Is he hot? *gestures wildly at the gif*

Is he naked? He’s got quite a few shirtless scenes.

Does his hair look great? It’s nothing special but suits his character well.

Does he fuck? Oh yes.

Best paired with? Hear me out. I know that some people ship him with Fabio, but in my opinion that pair, while hot, doesn’t work. Here’s my pitch: Cesare from Non essere cattivo. The drug connection is still there, but in this case Majid’s problem-solving skills won’t fall on deaf ears. Cesare needs a daddy, ok? Majid can be a daddy when he needs to, especially when he has a soft boyfriend to care for. And Majid needs soft, not psycho.

Hartenstraat (2014)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s the protagonist once again.

Is he hot? Painfully.

Is he naked? There’s that iconic scene where he’s wearing nothing but black boxer briefs and boots while carrying a tray...

Does his hair look great? He’s got Joe-like curls and looks like what every male romantic lead should aspire to look like and then cry because they all fail.

Does he fuck? There’s one very unfortunate sex scene played for laughs. I’m pretty sure he’ll need therapy afterwards. I certainly do.

Best paired with? Paolo from Il padre d’Italia. Paolo deserves the best boyfriend, and who’s better than Daan, an extremely hot man who cooks? They both have daughters, so they can talk about that, I guess, and Paolo can finally have a family. Honestly, this is so wholesome I just made myself cry.

Lucia de B. (2014)

Will you miss him if you blink? For sure.

Is he hot? He’s a cop. Again. But he looks good.

Is he naked? Fully dressed, but man are his clothes ugly. Is that a cop thing?

Does his hair look great? He has slightly longer curls, which is fine and the best thing about this character.

Does he fuck? ACAB. (I know this doesn’t answer the question, I just wanted to make it clear.)

Best paired with? See my bootlicker comment from earlier. While Detective *checks notes* Ron Leeflang isn’t explicitly corrupt, he’s obviously a dick, so the best I can do here is recommend any Luca character that has ever been in trouble with the law for any fics about power imbalance you want to write but aren’t comfortable with a nice Marwan playing the villain.

Bloedlink (2014)

Will you miss him if you blink? Oh no, he’s there the entire time.

Is he hot? In a weird way, yes.

Is he naked? So, so, so naked. Like, leave nothing to the imagination naked.

Does his hair look great? I’d say that little rat tail is the exact opposite of great.

Does he fuck? Probably more than is good for him. I should also add that he’s canonically queer in this.

Best paired with? Rico is a pathetic loser in need of someone who’s got his life together and has a lot of experience dealing with fuckups. Enter Loris from Il mondo fino in fondo. He has a stable job and a savior complex, and with his little bro gaying it up in Chile and not needing him anymore, all he wants right now is someone to fix. I should be a fucking matchmaker in real life, for real.

Pak van mijn hart (2014)

Will you miss him if you blink? Undoubtedly.

Is he hot? No. The whole point of his character is to be the lesser choice compared to a guy who looks like a completely ordinary bland white dude...

Is he naked? ...so of course he isn’t naked! What, are they gonna take this poor woman, show her Marwan Kenzari’s post-Wolf body and expect her to choose her deeply mediocre ex? Please! They’re gonna dress him in the dorkiest clothes possible...

Does his hair look great? ...and make him wear the most awful wig that was clearly run over by a truck.

Does he fuck? No. As you can observe, they tried really hard to make him unfuckable, but honestly, he seems like a perfectly nice guy.

Best paired with? You know what? Mattia from La solitudine dei numeri primi is in desperate need of some sweetness and normalcy. I’m sure Richard will treat him with kindness and respect.

Collide (2016)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s the fifth most important character. Out of five.

Is he hot? Very hot.

Is he naked? Not for a second! What’s up with American movies where people aren’t just casually walking around naked without any plot necessity???

Does his hair look great? His curls are so cute you guys! Look at them!

Does he fuck? Not explicitly.

Best paired with? Fabio from Lo chiamavano Jeeg Robot. Again, the drug connection is there, but Matthias is soft enough not to butt heads with Fabio and, by the end of the movie, rich enough to satisfy his cravings for good living and fame. Also look at how good their color coordination is with those dark wine red clothes! Sometimes planets just align, okay?

Ben-Hur (2016)

Will you miss him if you blink? Yes, especially if you aren’t watching the background.

Is he hot? Your usual Marwan hot.

Is he naked? No.

Does his hair look great? His typical short curls with a twist. I think the forehead area is supposed to invoke the Caesar cut? I don’t know. It looks fine when not hidden under that dumb helmet.

Does he fuck? No.

Best paired with? A better script and a much better director. (Seriously, what is this blocking?)

The Promise (2016)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s there a decent amount in the first half of the movie and then almost completely disappears in the second half.

Is he hot? Very much, yes.

Is he naked? Unfortunately, no.

Does his hair look great? He’s got short curls again, but this time they’re fashionably styled, it’s magnificent.

Does he fuck? Oh yeah! And there’s no way he isn’t bi or pan in this. No way.

Best paired with? Roberta from L’ultimo terrestre. Listen, Emre Ogan may be a slut but he’s a gentleman, okay? He’d treat Roberta right and he’s got daddy’s cash to spare on hundreds of gorgeous white dresses for her.

The Mummy (2017)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s there, but barely.

Is he hot? Dangerously hot.

Is he naked? Not once! Instead we get a naked Tom Cruise literally no one asked for.

Does his hair look great? It’s your basic professional short hairdo.

Does he fuck? No.

Best paired with? Malik is a member of an organization tracking and destroying various monsters and historical artefacts related to them. Guido from Tutti i santi giorni speaks four languages, including Latin, and is a literature and ancient history nerd which makes him a valuable asset. Malik can fight and protect; Guido is bumbling and in need of saving. Guys, this writes itself.

What Happened to Monday (2017)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, especially not in the third act.

Is he hot? He’s okay.

Is he naked? Very naked.

Does his hair look great? They shouldn’t have greased his curls back. He looks like another victim of Fabio Cannizzaro’s stylist. Also I wish he’d either shaved or finished growing out that beard.

Does he fuck? He fucks and he fucks good. He’ll go down on you, he’ll deflower you slowly and gently, he’ll choke you if you want him to, he’ll spoon you all night, he’ll give you emotional support, he’ll murder people for you - he’s down for whatever.

Best paired with? There’s one Luca character who needs a lot of sex and even more emotional support. Alright, most of them do, but I’m thinking of Ettore from Lasciate andare. He needs it, okay? Good dicking, good spooning, a good ear, a fine piece of ass to cry into - you get the gist. Most importantly: someone who’d love him for who he is and with whom he could relax and be himself. (Also, I see you, people comparing him to Fabio. Shame on you for sleeping on this soft boy and judging him based on his appearance.)

Murder on the Orient Express (2017)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s kinda always present, being very French.

Is he hot? Very hot.

Is he naked? No, but I’m willing to forgive that because he looks so good in his conductor uniform.

Does his hair look great? He never takes off his hat.

Does he fuck? No.

Best paired with? Mickey Miranda. They’re both murderers morally dubious characters who would look hot together. What else do you need? (Again, I see you, people who want Pierre for Roberta because he’s a “nice guy”, and I know for a fact you didn’t watch the movie. Spoilers, I guess.)

The Angel (2018)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s the protagonist.

Is he hot? Oh yes.

Is he naked? Not once, but you won’t regret it because he’s wearing excellently stylish 1970s clothes.

Does his hair look great? It looks fantastic. The sideburns (not yet seen here) are a good touch.

Does he fuck? He can definitely get it, but he’s loyal to his wife.

Best paired with? As the most aesthetically coherent and fashionably hot pair in this post, Ashraf and Primo are a no-brainer. Can you imagine Primo calling him “Angel” in different contexts? When he’s being intimidating, not realizing how palpable the sexual tension between them is, and later not even hiding his arousal? Sometimes things just work because they’re hot. That’s all, folks.

Aladdin (2019)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s the main villain.

Is he hot? It’s not like he went viral for being the “hot Jafar” or anything.

Is he naked? No! Fucking thanks a lot, Disney.

Does his hair look great? He has a buzz cut under that turban but he looks good in the turban, so that’s something.

Does he fuck? It’s a Disney movie, so he doesn’t fuck - explicitly or otherwise - but he still comes off as a thirsty bitch.

Best paired with? Jafar ends the movie as a genie who’s obligated to grant his master three wishes but is enough of a petty bitch to exploit the hell out of the “gray area” and screw them over Wishmaster style. My unconventional pair for him is Lui from Ricordi? So many scenarios with distorted memories and magic-induced mindfuck. So many possibilities for awesome and messed up crossover gifsets! Don’t say I never give you guys anything.

Instinct (2019)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s very prominent.

Is he hot? I hate myself for finding him hot but I do.

Is he naked? He’s playing basketball shirtless in one scene, shaking his sweaty boobs everywhere.

Does his hair look great? His weird mohawk-like thing is honestly terrible, but if anything can make it work, it’s Marwan’s bone structure.

Does he fuck? Um, I’m pleading the Fifth on this one for the sake of good taste.

Best paired with? Prison. A very lonely, Luca-less prison.

The Old Guard (2020)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, unless blinking in your case means sleeping through the gloriousness that is the first ever canonically gay couple in an American action film.

Is he hot? Painfully.

Is he naked? Shirtless in one scene.

Does his hair look great? Soft curls courtesy of Luca Marinelli’s tireless lobbying.

Does he fuck? Not on screen, but you can just tell by the way he looks at his husband and reads impromptu poetry right to his face. And everybody knows nothing kindles the fires of passion quite like murdering homophobes together.

Best paired with? If you have to ask, you’re clearly reading this by mistake. In which case, kudos for finishing such a long and confusing post, now go watch The Old Guard and cry at the beauty that is The Immortal Marriage.

#marwan kenzari #luca marinelli #the old guard #and other movies #i'm lazy #immortal husbands #and their parallel versions i guess #crossover ships galore

[phoenixyfriend]

Vader Tries to Help

People encouraged me to share the dead dove concept! Yay! It’s a horrible concept with an undertone of comedic absurdity in the sense that you keep waiting to see what awful, incredibly stupid thing Vader is going to do next. Like it’s horrifying but it’s also very dumb.

By moving forward into the fic, you acknowledge that this is intended to be dark and liable to be upsetting, and that you are taking responsibility for your own engagement with the material.

This AU was helped along on discord by several parties but tbh I’m not sure how many of them actually want to be named.

Warnings: Mutual Extremely Dubious Consent (forced by a third party), drugging, irrational behavior (Vader), nonconsensual body modification, forced pregnancy, imprisonment, threatened torture of a child (not followed through on)

----------

Vader captures Obi-Wan a few years into the Empire. Because Vader is Anakin, but even worse on the emotional bullshit, he decides that he needs to keep Obi-Wan safe but harmless. Vader also got Luke in the whole 'capturing Kenobi' situation, so part of what Vader's thinking about all this is that Obi-Wan tried to protect The Baby and so Vader kind of owes him, obviously.

Palpatine lets him keep Obi-Wan "safe," because threatening Obi-Wan is a convenient way to make Vader shut up and do what he's told. Palpatine can kind of tell that threatening the toddler would make Vader lose his shit and attempt to kill good ol' Palps, so threatening the middle-aged depressed alcoholic being kept in Vader's guest room with Force-nullifying cuffs is pretty good. It's an additional layer of emotional torture on top of the electrocution of Vader himself!

Vader has Obi-Wan taking care of Luke, mostly, because Vader has Obligations and A Job, and Obi-Wan wouldn't hurt Luke, duh. He might try to escape with the kid, but he won't be successful, and Obi-Wan will definitely put Luke's safety first, so that probably won't happen.

This is all fairly normal for a variety of AUs, granted, and not very dark.

But see, Obi-Wan behaves. He's aware of how tenuous the situation is for him and his charge, so he plays nice. And Vader decides to reward that.

By giving him Cody.

There's an implied thought process there that Obi-Wan was fond of Cody, and Cody was fond back, and now that the Jedi aren't around, they can follow through instead of worrying about some silly Code. Vader's nullified the orders to kill all the Jedi, of course, possibly dosed their food with an aphrodisiac so they don't try to talk themselves out of What They Obviously Want.

Now, we’re going to make it a little darker, because why not make things worse by having Vader try to make things better?

Vader somehow twisted himself around to encouraging them to have a baby. This is accomplished through a combination of Sith Magic and nonconsensual surgery, and lots of questionable drugs.

Obi-Wan just wakes up in a hospital bed with a womb one morning, and is informed of the surgery then and there, after it’s already happened. The droid telling him about it is just like "in the Lord Vader's infinite kindness--" and Obi-Wan just.

Anakin.

What the fuck.

What in the actual fuck made you think this was a good idea.

(The Sith Chemicals, probably.)

I feel like Palpatine would maybe even order the pregnancy induction just to torture them by proxy because that's like eight levels of Fuck No and he barely has to do anything except tell Vader that he'd like to see what kind of children a Jedi Master like Obi-Wan has.

Luke needs friends, doesn't he?

Obi-Wan is having some very complicated emotions about all of this because Vader is, in his own absolutely insane way, trying to help.

Anakin wanted babies and Padme wanted babies so clearly, if Obi-Wan and Cody are in love, then they also want babies!

Cody and Obi-Wan very well might not be in love. Anakin definitely could have misinterpreted. It’s probably more angsty if they're just friends who ended up in this bullshit together.

(He's taking baby fever to new and somewhat horrifying heights, because... he would adore Obi's kids.)

(His family button is suprisingly large for a mass murderer.)

Vader Kindly Informs Bail That Obi-Wan Is Alive And Unharmed. Bail was a friend of Obi-Wan's, telling him this is only helpful and will keep Alderaan from getting more rebellious out of personal insult. Obviously.

Vader is almost offended when Bail implies he might hurt Obi-Wan. He kept his son safe, he owes him. Speaking of, don’t you have a child? How old is she, again? It would be Good for her to make friends, wouldn’t it? :)

Palpatine is just like... sitting back and eating evil popcorn as Vader runs around, ruining people's lives by trying to be less of The Worst than before.

Palps barely has to do anything, Anakin's fucking it up on his own!

Could have been just a sly "Kenobi is so attached to young Luke, but now that you've been reunited with your son, perhaps he'd be happier with a child of his own?" Come at it from both "make Obi-Wan happy" and "protect your relationship with Luke" angles.

Vader: I can't have babies anymore due to what you did to me on Mustafar. Obi-Wan: So you're punishing me by forcing me to have them instead? Vader: No! Children are a gift that you have been cruelly denied by the Order that held us in its chains! Obi-Wan: ...oh, right, you're insane. Forgot about that. Somehow.

Big dramatic speech about how the Jedi Order spent so long making them take lives, he’s giving Obi-Wan a chance to create it! To put something good and bright into the world!

Poor Cody is like. "General, I am very fond of you but I'm having a million panic attacks at the same time because of the mind control, and also Vader is under the impression that we're in love and I need to be your stud? I wasn't aware you could have children--" "I can't. Or at least, I couldn't, but Anakin is... creative." "...what."

I don't want to actually objectify Cody in the narrative past the point that Obi-Wan himself is, because nnnnngh racism and clone stuff, so I'm going to say Cody was in love with Obi-Wan, and would have been okay with at least discussing the whole baby schtick if not for the absolutely horrible circumstances.

Like if the war had ended normally, and Obi-Wan had expressed a desire to retire, unlikely as that was, then Cody may have suggested a dinner, and they could have gotten married and then eventually adoption...

(Cody had a lot of fantasies he didn’t let himself think about too hard.)

But no. It's this... weird Vader-inspired bullshit.

I'm just so invested in Vader trying to help but making things legitimately a million times worse.

He wants to help :) Oh god, he wants to help.

Why aren't people more appreciative of how hard I'm helping them? - the Anakin Skywalker story

With less time to stew and also getting handed what he wants, Vader could absolutely flip on a dime the second he saw Luke being protected, and go from “I hate you” to remembering that Obi-Wan said he loved him, and now he must keep Obi-Wan safe out of debt and he just... he’s playing house. 

Vader throws Obi-Wan a baby shower after the pregnancy is confirmed. Bail is invited, because Obi-Wan doesn't have a lot of friends still alive. Vader decides Bail is top of the Obi-Wan’s Friends List.

This is the first time they've seen each other in two years. Obi-Wan is heavily pregnant despite Bail knowing full well he didn't have the plumbing for that before the Empire rose. Cody is there and emotionally exhausted but more lucid than most troopers. Luke is running up to Leia because New Friend!!!

....there may be MORE of the 212th and 501st at the baby shower, with “kill all Jedi” orders revoked, of course. But it will keep the children safe!! And Cody and Obi-Wan can see their surviving friends!!

Cody: I'd be much happier to see my surviving troopers if they didn't all still have chips in their heads. Obi-Wan: I feel much the same. Vader: [404 error]

Bail and his family might be there at blaster point, but aren't you happy to see them, Obi-Wan??

Obi-Wan's endless trauma is honestly somewhat curtailed by the incessant need to facepalm at Vader’s bullshit

Obi-Wan and Cody both outwardly have a very "there are much worse people I could be stuck with in this situation but obviously I wish I'd had a choice, no hard feelings" attitude at each other.

Internally, Cody is suffering because this is NOT how he wanted his crush to be realized, and Obi-Wan is just suffering, period.

Cody: How did he even choose which of us ends up pregnant? Obi-Wan: He thinks I need to be protected, and that he needs to keep me safe. Cody: ...he does realize that you're better at-- Obi-Wan: Cody, he's completely lost it. No! He doesn't realize!

I feel like over the course of the year or two this plot unravels towards Palpatine getting murder-deposed and Anakin getting locked down, part of the driving force to Vader not being Vader anymore is that Luke actually really loves Uncle Obi and always starts fussing and going "Ben's sad" whenever Vader dismisses what Obi-Wan wants in favor of what Vader thinks Obi-Wan wants, and Vader can't deny his child anything.

Luke cries because Palpatine Feels Wrong like, once or twice, and Anakin goes “oh, okay, assassination time.”

#Obi Wan Kenobi #Anakin Skywalker #Luke Skywalker #Commander Cody #Codywan #Darth Vader #Bail Organa #star wars #dubcon #situational dubcon #nonconsensual surgery #medical abuse tw #forced pregnancy tw #nonconsensual body modification #Vader Tries to Help AU #Phoenix Posts #dead dove do not read #dead dove

[suicidalslasher]

𝒖𝒏𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒕 ➤ 𝑱𝒂𝒔𝒐𝒏 𝑫.

Nothing but porn w/o a plot. There actually is a plot and if anybody is confused on the ending, I can explain but it’s more porn than anything.... so, here you go, you filthy animals. 

WARNINGS: choking, degradation, use of a gun (brief), a lot of dirty talk... of course. Oral, m on f / f on m. Fingering. Squirting. (brief.)

!! Female reader. Readers pronouns are she/her. !!

ps: if you enjoy my content and have a dollar or two to spare, here’s my ko-fi. 

“You don’t know me, but something terrible is going to happen. That boy you call your boyfriend isn't a man at all, in fact, he's a monster and he's only using you to kill you, for your blood to be on his hands, for him to be the cause of your death. He's twisted, that way.  He's not as nice as he portrays himself to be. If  I were you  — and once upon a time ago, I was in your shoes, I was you —  I'd get the hell out of that relationship and quickly."          Jason looked up from the letter his girlfriend,  (Y/N), had received in her locker. His lips are pressed together tightly into a white slash, his jaw clenched and in a sharp tone, he asks, "So.... what? You're going to break up with me over a  letter that a complete stranger put in your locker?" He sneered, grinding his teeth together before he stood up, moving the chair back as he does so. 

The piece of furniture loudly squeaks against the floor, making (Y/N) grimace and flinch at the obnoxious  noise. It's not the only thing in the room being annoying, though.    "No." (Y/N) answers,  giving an eyeroll in return to his question as she folds her arms across her chest.  "I want to see the monster you supposedly are, that's all." She adds.  "This isn't the first or even the second letter that says those words. There's been an endless amount and quite frankly, my beloved J.D, I'm suspicious  on what it exactly means."  "You believe the notes, do you?" He questions,  stepping closer to his girlfriend, eyebrow arched as he waits for her response.  "I do..... or I don't. That's up to you to decide for me. So, enlighten me, Jason, are you a monster in disguise or are you not and someone's simply playing a trick on not only me but the both of us?"  "What is it you're trying to do to me, (Y/N)?"  "Oh my God, fuck me like you hate me, fuck me like the monster that you supposedly are, according to the pieces of paper I receive every day.. I want to see whether or not it's true."  Jason is silent, as if he had gone mute. He was standing inches away from her face, doing - saying - nothing. Only... staring, like he was a starved predator and she was his only prey, his first feast of the day.  

Though, she knows the air conditioner isn't on, and neither are the windows open, (Y/N) shivers as if it were cold. But it was his eyes  that were frosty. His eyes were two lifeless pools of abyss-black, an ice-cold stare he was giving. Finally, he speaks for what feels like ages since he last talked, although it had only been a minute or two since he did, "I hate you. Despise you, actually.  Don't even know why we continue to have this fucking conversation. You're seriously so fucking annoying," He spat.  (Y/N) wasn't sure if he meant the words or not, either way, it did feel like a stab in the chest.  She purses her lips together and she goes to say something but before she could, his hand is wrapped around her throat and her back is pushed up against the wall.  "I should strangle you."  "Is that a promise?" She gasped out.  "Once I start, I might not be able to stop." He informs, clicking his tongue against the root of his mouth.  His grip, however, gets tighter and as fucked up as it may sound, (Y/N) grows wetter, she squeezes  her thighs tighter together and has to bite back a moan at the feeling of his hand around her throat. "I don't care what you do," (Y/N) replied truthfully, voice low and groggy, as if she had just woken up. "Just fuck me."  "My pleasure."  To her disappointment, Jason  drops his hand down at his side before gesturing to the floor with a motion of his finger.  "Get on your knees, this cock isn't going to suck itself."  (Y/N) is more than happy to oblige as she crashed to her knees,  quickly, undoing  his belt buckle and unbuttoning  his jeans.  In only a matter of seconds, he's got his pants and boxer briefs off, hanging down his ankles and his dick is being swallowed by his favorite cock-slut.  

Her eyes are fluttered shut as she tries to concentrate  on pleasing him. And as always, she's doing a great job at doing so. Then he remembers — this was a punishment and she deserved to be punished.  She wanted for him to unleash the beast, after all, right? So, he would be doing that.  Jason growls and grabs the back of her neck, fingers finding their way up to her hair as he then forces  her further down onto her cock, making her sputter and choke, a few drops of spit soaking his shaft as he face-fucks (Y/N)'s throat.   "Take it, slut. You wanted this, remember? Wanted to see the man behind the mask, well, here I am, baby, standing proudly right in front of you. Take my cock, choke on it like the filthy, little bitch you are. That's all you are, isn't it, sweetheart? You aren't important enough for me to keep around, according to the letters you get. Only keep you around so I can fuck you like the desperate whore you are. Is that what you want to hear? Huh?"  (Y/N)'s eyes are full of tears and she knows, without even looking in the mirror, her cheeks are stained with mascara and her lipstick is smudged, as her throat is getting pounded by the man above her, his grip on her hair is too tight, it's too much and yet not enough. 

She wants more — no, scratch that —  needs more.   "Desperate cock-hungry bitch, aren't you, baby? Starving for me to feed you my cock, to feed you my cum. You'll just open your legs to anyone, everyone, too, huh?  Especially me, even when you know exactly what I've done.... letters or no letters, you know the kind of person I am.. and yet, I'm the monster? You're no saint, either, miss (L/N).You're as crazy and as fucked up as I am."  (Y/N) nearly  (key-word there) makes a mess in her panties. And she hasn't touched herself at all yet, neither has Jason placed a finger yet on her.   

 Jason, on the other end, notices how her fingernails are digging themselves into his bare, naked thighs rougher than they had been previously. There's also more sweat pooling at the top of her forehead, too. He was making a complete mess out of her and was loving every single second of it.  "What is it, baby girl? You want to cum for me? Going to cum for me, untouched? Oh, so naughty, filthy little thing," He cooed, slowing down his movements as he continues to push his dick further down her throat, feeling more saliva spill out of her mouth and wetting his cock as he does so. 

 "Go on then, baby. Make a mess all in your panties. I know you can do it." And, well, yeah, just like that (Y/N) is coming, untouched, all while Jason does the same, feeding her his cum with a grunt of her name escaping his lips.   (Y/N) hums happily as she pulls back, wiping what remains on her cheeks onto her fingers, coating her digits with his  ejeculation and slips the juices into her mouth, making sure to poke her tongue out and give Jason a show — she wanted to prove how much of a slut she really was, and how desperate she was to have him bury his cock in her pussy. She needed the pain, wanted to feel it. She wanted it rough.   "So... what else do you have in plan?"  (Y/N) wonders, looking up at him with a smirk.   That little grin placed on her lips is quick to fall down into a worried frown when Jason pulls a gun out at her, pressing it against her skull.   "I could kill you since I got what  I needed." His voice was as devoid of life as an ossuary and his eyes were still soul-penetrating.  Not even a hint of a smile, not even a sign of amusement in the tone of voice. Surely, he wasn't being serious.... was he?  He presses the end of the gun to her mouth, making her lips part open as he presses  the gun inside.  "Could blow your brains out, right here, right now.... since that's all I'm going to do to you, anyways, right? I'll kill you eventually, why not now?"  Jason pulls the trigger.   

It's a blank.  Of fucking course it is.  "I'm only kidding," He said, chuckling lowly as he places the gun back into the pocket of his trench coat.    "You're a fucking dick." (Y/N) hisses, getting up on her feet and raising her hand up, slapping him on the cheek. "Don't scare me like that,"   "You're the one who was sucking my dick, first of all.... and you are also the one who wanted me to show you just how awful I could be... so, it's your fault." Jason said.   "Oh, shut up and kiss me already. 'm tired of this roleplay. Just want you inside me. Now."  "As you wish, your majesty." Jason laughs, bending forward as he picks his girlfriend up, throwing her over his shoulder and carries  her to his bedroom, kicking the door open with his foot. 

He then falls down onto the bed, letting his girlfriend fall on the mattress as well, (Y/N) squealing loudly as she tries to get comfortable and find a cozy spot along the mountain of pillows that rest against the headboard of the bed.  "Can I at least see if you're as sweet as you look?"  Jason asks,  licking his lips.   For obvious reasons, (Y/N) doesn't argue.  All she does is nod her head and lets a breathless pant out, answering with a, 'yes, please'.  She shimmies out of her pants, pulling her panties down as she strips out of both. Once they're off, she throws them elsewhere, not worried where they end up nor does she have time to worry about such things because the moment she's naked, Jason is pulling her legs apart and is quick to bury his face in her thighs.

 "Oh, God, fuck. Should've given me a warning, baby." She whines, fingers brushing through his hair as she tugs his black locks, pulling him closer, dragging his face closer to her cunt. "Need you so badly...." She murmurs, feeling the smile of her boyfriend's face against her heat. His tongue dances against her clit, flicking this way and that. He was always phenomenal with his mouth, more so his tongue than anything else. (Other than his dick, of course.)  (Okay, everything about J.D, other than his temper, was amazing.)  There were no words to describe it other than perfection and magical.  "Jason, baby..."  Hearing her pleas and knowing he's doing an excellent job, he continues, this time adding a finger and pushing it deep inside, earning a loud gasp to spill from (Y/N)'s lips. "Jason, fuck!"   She's wet, this much is obvious, but she's leaving a puddle not only on his face but beneath her. She'll have to wash the comforter later, she hopes she isn't leaving any stains behind either and can wash it out in time before it does leave an imprint.  

 These thoughts are replaced when Jason adds another finger, and she isn't so sure if he has two inside or three, all (Y/N) knows is it feels so fucking good and if he doesn't stop, she's going to cum soon. "S-Stop, Jason, please.... want to cum by your cock, wanna cum with you."   Jason doesn't stop, despite her cries. He's pushing her thighs down, holding her still as he continues to pump his fingers in and out, his tongue is everywhere and she feels so hot, feels as if every part of her body is on fire.  "Jason, Jason,"  (Y/N)'s moans come out like a broken record; only able to play the bit of his name on repeat, only able to speak his name and nothing else. "Jason, baby, oh.... I'm.... I'm going to cum!" And within a matter of seconds, that familiar sensation she had been feeling for the last few minutes in the pit of her stomach finally explodes and she's shooting her orgasm all over his fingers and on his face and... wait, did she- "You squirted, holy shit..." Jason pulls back, laughing as he wipes his face off of with his shirt. "That's a first. Just by my fingers too, fuck, baby girl.... can't even begin to imagine what you can do when I stuff my cock deep inside your cunt."  "Well, don't imagine then and just do it. Fuck me." Jason chuckles as he takes off the rest of his clothes.  Which wasn't much other than his coat and the shirt. (Y/N) giggles, not realizing that was all he had on. Nothing but his trenchcoat and a shirt underneath, his lower half being completely bare.  "What?" He asks, dropping the jacket and his shirt at the end of the bed before he's crawling up and over on (Y/N), wrapping her legs around him as he presses the tip of his cock at her entrance, teasing her for  a second or two.  "Nothing. Just waiting for you."  "Anything for my darling." With this, he presses his cock steadily at her entrance before he's leaning forward, pressing his chest on top of hers, Jason slides his cock deep within her walls at a slow pace before he's fully inside her, his own mouth parting open at the tightness that clenches around him. "Always so tight, (Y/N), fuck." "I'm not going to last long," She answers honestly.   Jason agreed, nodding his head rapidly as he moves, little by little, bit by bit. "Me, either, baby. You feel so good, always fucking so good."   "Jason...." (Y/N) mewls, feeling that sensation clouding over her once more, every thrust he gave sent a wave of electricity to shock her. Her orgasm would be stronger than the one she had a few seconds ago, this much she knew. 

 "Jason, baby, fuck.... you feel so good. Love feeling you inside me," She gasps, her feet were pointed like a dancer's, her toes curling and uncurling. Her pelvis rose from the bed as if seeking something in the air, Jason had to hold her down against the mattress, placing her hands above her head so she could remain still.  "Jason, please, I'm so close, I'm-" He cuts her off by pressing his lips onto hers. "Tell me you love me." He whispers, slowing the movements of his hips.  She laughs, pulling back and presses her face in the crook of his neck, playfully giving him a bite. "You're the one who lit the match and burned me earlier, telling me you hate me.... why should I say it first?" "Cause you and I  damn well know I don't hate you, I could never hate you, darling, so tell me you love me, please."  "I love you, Jason Dean, now cum inside me and fill me up like the desperate, cum slut I am. I wanna feel you."  Jason groans as he presses (Y/N) back against the pillows, leaving one hand off of her arm as he now cups her face, crashing his lips back against hers hungrily. "Cum with me, baby girl, cum with me."  (Y/N) musters a few curse words, letting them fall into Jason's open mouth as they kiss wildly and crazily, the type of kiss you'd only see in pornagraphic movies.   (What they were doing too, obviously, could be in a film as well.)  "I love you, I love you, I love you."  Jason groans and spills his seed, filling  (Y/N) up as he shoots his load deep inside her walls, moaning the same words she just said into the kiss. "Fuckin, goddamn..." He groans, pulling back as he falls next to her. "Never realized you were so naughty."  "Yes you do. That's why you started dating me, why you fell in love with me... shall I continue?"  "Correction: Didn't realize death was such a turn on for you."  "That's fair." (Y/N) answered with a giggle, grabbing Jason and cuddling up into his side, pressing a kiss to his chest.   "I've still got to thank Veronica for being part of this, giving me the roleplay idea and everything."  "Still don't understand why you're best friends with my ex," "She introduced us. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't be here; We wouldn't be together." "That's fair." He mocks her words, chuckling as he kisses the top of her head.  "Still, I'd never hurt you. You know this, right?" (Y/N) nods and hums, drawing tiny figures on Jason's chest with the tip of her finger.  "I know. Unless I ask for it." She jokes but she and Jason knew there were truth in her words.  "Filthy thing, you are (Y/N) (L/N)." "Yes.... but you love me, though, Jason Dean." "That I do." "And I love you."  "I love you too... although you fit the label; 'geek in the streets, freak in the sheets'  perfectly." He jokes. 

"Can't believe you squirted still and love being degraded as much as you do,  love being talked like your feelings aren't valuable... never expected this from you, missy."  "Says the one who killed others... you crazed bastard.  I knew what I was getting myself into when I got together with you, J.D. I'm not stupid."   "And see, that's why I love you. You love me and the monsters in my closet."  "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shut up and kiss me, killer."  "Keep that attitude up and I'm gonna have to kill that pussy of yours." "Do it. I'm ready for a round two." (Y/N) replied with a smirk.  "Just can't get enough of this  cock, can you?" "Nope." "Truly are a cock slut." Jason replied with a 'tsk'  before he grabs (Y/N), placing her on top of him. "Ride me, baby girl. You already know what Daddy likes." "Don't have to tell me twice."

#take a fucking SHOT for how many times you read the word 'cock' #also no #i don't know how to end stories #TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT #UGH #idk if i actually like this or not #i do but i don't #jason dean #heathers #jason dean x reader #jason dean x yn #jean dean x femreader #my works #jason dean smut #jason dean imagines #jason dean fanfics #christian slater #christian slater x reader #christian slater x yn #cierra's stories

[autisticandroids]

I appreciate you being Dean concerned and not Dean critical. I’m sure you’ve already answered this before but what do you genuinely like about him? A lot of his good traits get twisted in your meta (and in the show) which is really interesting! But like. What about him do you just think is neat?

Also, you don’t talk about Sam a lot but I’m rewatching season 8 and it really feels like both a continuation of preseason one -> season one (Sam has a normal life, Dean is gone -> Sam wants to return to his normal life but Dean coming back gets him back in the game) which also gives it finale vibes :(

Besides the fact that the stuff with Amelia is really boring, it all just feels ooc and like a step back for Sam. Not to go on a rant but Sam seemed to finally make peace with his life back in season 7.

The stuff with Amelia also has both the same and the exact opposite energy as the stuff with Lisa. During his time with Lisa, it was always like Dean had one foot out the door back to hunting. During his time when he goes back to hunting with Dean in season 8, it feels like Sam always has one foot out the door back to Amelia.

That and I just can’t bring myself to give a shit about Amelia (maybe because she’s boring and inconsistent, maybe because info about her is drop fed instead of presented mostly all at once like with Lisa in season 6, maybe because she’s just shoved in for something for Sam to be up to and it feels ooc to me idk)

I thought I’d like season 8 (and I do really like a lot of Cas’ stuff but he’s always my favorite anyway so that was basically gaurenteed) but a lot of the stuff just makes my brain feel like a white noise machine. I’m only on episode 10 so I’m sure it’ll get better for me once the Sam stuff gets resolved but for now it’s very.... eh.

Thoughts?

okay so, what i like about dean. hm. that's hard! i love dean, for all sorts of reasons, and i know i'll miss stuff, but: - he charms me, on a sort of pure, animal level. he's very charming, that's true within the show but it's true for the audience, or at least me, as well. he's funny, he's affectionate, he's sweet, and he tries so hard. and it makes me love him - he's compellingly tragic. like dean is a fucked up guy, he hurts both himself and everyone around him because of patterns of trauma an neurosis he can't break out of. no one wants to be a bad guy, no one wants to hurt the ones they love, least of all dean, but he can't stop doing both those things. like his self-made cage of ideology, emotional repression, and control is killing him, and it's killing everyone who doesn't get away from him, and that's sad! it's awful! no one is winning except dean's self-image. he will sacrifice everyone and everything he loves on the altar of never having to re-evaluate himself. or, i hope he won't. but he might! and that's sad! it's the perfect tragedy! - second hand deangirlism due to cas kinnie disease. men will be the first person who was ever nice to castiel and then me and castiel will love them forever about it. - he is my little puzzle box and i will solve him - straightmarried gf i liked that sam ran off and tried to escape The Life in s8, that makes sense to me. i think sam really fundamentally doesn't want to be a hunter and the only reason he gives up on trying to leave post s8 is that it is impressed upon him that he's completely trapped. he can never be free. dean will always drag him back, kicking and screaming. i actually feel like sam's equivalent to lisa isn't amelia, it's jess. i talked some about that here but like. both jess and lisa were kind of synecdoches for a false ideal of the american dream, each in their own way. they're both images of suburban perfection, and what draws the winchesters to them is the desire to fit into that image.

but comparing lisa and amelia..... like, dean promises sam that he will go try to make a normal life with lisa, and then he does, because that obligation is all he has left to cling to. like dean is nothing but a miserable little pile of duties and tasks, he doesn't know who he is without a chore (see: demon!dean's total directionlessness) and lisa is the last promise he made to his brother, so he fulfills that. she's an idea to him, not a real woman. the thing he's clinging to, in sam's absence, is not lisa, but the idea of a normative suburban lifestyle. but then the moment sam shows up and voids his own last wishes, dean is like okay bye i don't need to fulfill this obligation anymore. like he was never all that interested in lisa. he didn't love her and his relationship with her was built on obligations, normative images, and anxiety over her safety, which finally resolves itself in dean horrifically violating her by asking cas to wipe her memories.

whereas sam is with amelia because he like, meets her and they form a connection. they hit it off. and sam has a pattern of like. when he wants to get away from something, especially if dean isn't around, he jumps into bed with the nearest girl who smiles at him and then forms a super intense with her. his early season one-off love interests, ruby, and now amelia. (amelia is actually kind of the last time he does that, because after season eight he gives up trying to escape for real). but what he's clinging to there isn't an image that he's trying to fit into. it's the girl herself. like he likes amelia and he wants to be around her and he dives into like. spending time with her and building a relationship with her. and like amelia is a real woman and sam sees her as a real woman. like she's a fucked up mess and so is he and they connect. like she's a bitch and she clogs her drain with limes. also #MyGirlfriendsHusbandFightsForYourFreedom. like samelia is a little boring but i don't begrudge sam that. it's almost compelling because it's boring.

i'm actually not a huge season eight guy myself but my issue with it isn't samelia.

actually, and this is a complete tangent, can i bitch about season ten for a second? like. okay. seasons eight and nine are about sam learning that dean will never let him go. that he's trapped forever in the hunting life and trapped forever with his brother, that dean will do horrific things to him in order to keep them together. and slowly just... giving up. deciding to relinquish his dreams of getting out once and for all.

and then season ten rolls around and suddenly sam makes a hypocrite of himself? suddenly sam is the one who will go to any lengths to save dean, even against dean's own wishes? NOT believable. like sam should be like. sad and fucked up about it, but letting dean go his own way. if anything, cas should be the one trying to save dean against his will, that's way more cas' move. like there's definitely a certain level of cas -> dean :: dean -> sam that exists in the show, at least in terms of protective fixation. cas is somewhat more respectful of dean's boundaries and autonomy, but he's the one with a pattern of blowing up at dean for being self-destructive etc etc.

like, sam should have been way different in s10. i don't know exactly what i would do with him, maybe give him his own distinct plot? or maybe have demon dean last somewhat longer and make "demon dean tries to kill sam" a whole multi-episode arc, i think that would slap. and then the relationship fallout from that can be many more episodes.

like imo this happened because jeremy carver got his start in season three, when sam legitimately was trying to save dean against dean's wishes, but in s3 that made sense. like, one, the brothers were much closer then, dean wasn't quite as much of a prison guard for sam, but two, much more importantly, dean's deal was sam's fault. he blamed himself. he wasn't just trying to save dean from dying, he was trying to save dean from going to hell because of him. like girl, it made sense in mystery spot. but this is not the energy you should be bringing to the table with sam in s10. ooc!

#spn #asks #anonymous

[makeste]

regarding Best Jeanist, Dabi, and all of that

@kaleswagdragon​ I hope you don’t mind me posting this comment and my response as its own post, seeing as it quickly got out of hand and sort of morphed into a whole entire essay.

anyway, so! you say that it’s a mischaracterization, but it’s really not, though. I mean, props for bringing up the cultural context of Japan, in which the honne-tatemae culture of covering up anything that might lead to any sort of conflict -- even if it means harming an innocent victim in the process -- is a very real issue. so given that, I understand why so many people are interpreting Jeanist’s statement in a “how dare you bring this family shame to light” sort of way. and Caleb’s “dirty laundry” translation doesn’t help, given the “we’re more embarrassed than actually concerned about this” feel of that particular phrase, which he apparently chose just because of the clothing pun without really giving much thought to any other implications.

but in the actual Japanese, the meaning/context is somewhat different. here’s a link to a twitter thread clarifying the original spoiler translation, and breaking down the actual Japanese dialogue.

I think the meaning here is very clearly “you waited until the public’s faith in heroes was already wavering to bring this down on them as a final blow.” if he was simply criticizing Dabi for publicizing the Todoroki family drama, he would have stopped with that first sentence. the two sentences afterward (“you waited until everyone’s faith in heroes was wavering, when the damage would be too great to handle”) make it clear that what he’s actually calling Dabi out for is the way that he basically weaponizes his story into the perfect political tool to finally take down the heroes. which is an observation that we as the readers can verify for ourselves as being true. look at how he so carefully edited the footage of Twice’s death. look at the contrast between the way he acts in the video, compared with the homicidal glee we see from the actual Dabi in real time.

Jeanist is notably the only one who is able to get the same perspective as the readers here, since he’s the only person who’s physically present in Jakku with the real Dabi, but is also able to hear the video being broadcast. meaning that he’s able to hear both video!Dabi’s calm, prerecorded “I’m just a concerned citizen trying to look out for a society being taken advantage of by the ones charged with protecting it” speech, and actual!Dabi’s “hahaha fuck you Endeavor I’m bringing the whole country down even as we speak, well anyway time to kill you all” reality. he alone can see that stark contrast between the concerned whistleblower act Dabi is putting onscreen, versus his true attitude of “I don’t actually give a fuck, I just want to eradicate the heroes and make my dad suffer.” basically, Jeanist is the only one who can see that juxtaposition, and see Dabi’s reveal for what it really is, seeing as Dabi literally spelled it out for Endeavor and the others. and so he’s calling him out on that.

and he’s not wrong to do so. it’s clear that a lot of fans vehemently disagree with this, but being an abuse survivor doesn’t excuse you from having the same obligation as every other human being on the planet to try your best to be a decent person, which at minimum means not going out of your way to hurt other people. I say this as someone who’s experienced abuse, which shouldn’t need to be a disclaimer honestly, but I guess that’s how it is these days. anyways, though, I have, and I know a lot of other people who have as well. it’s a terrible, awful, exceptionally shitty thing to experience, and it affects everyone in different ways. and every single person who goes through something like that deserves help and support and time to heal, and it’s a tragedy and an injustice that Dabi, from what we have seen, never got any of that.

but that doesn’t excuse him from still being held to the same basic standard of “hurting other people is shitty” as everyone else. it doesn’t mean he gets a free pass. it doesn’t mean that anyone who says “hey, Dabi using his trauma as an excuse to murder people is kind of fucked up” is an abuse apologist. and it doesn’t mean Horikoshi is an abuse apologist for writing him that way, for that matter, because guess what? sometimes people who are abused grow up to become abusers. that’s just a fucked-up thing that happens sometimes. and pretending like it doesn’t is ironically not all that different from that whole “sweeping things under the rug” concept you mentioned earlier. it does happen, and I think it’s important to acknowledge that, because acknowledging it is one of the necessary steps to take in fixing it.

this attitude of “if someone was abused they should be absolved of responsibility for their actions” that I’ve seen in some posts is taking the concept of “abuse often has a profound impact on people’s mental health, and that should be taken into consideration before judging them too harshly for behavior that they can’t always necessarily control”, and twisting it into this nice little loophole that people can use to duck accountability whenever it’s convenient. but being abused doesn’t give you the right to abuse other people, is my point. nothing gives somebody the right to do that.

and Dabi is hurting other people. he waited ten years to tell his story specifically because he wanted to use it to make others suffer. and, putting aside the part where he’s trying to engineer the downfall of society as a precursor to the mass destruction he and his pals have planned, he also broadcast the story nationwide without the consent of the other abused parties involved. which I’m not saying he didn’t have the right to do, mind you, because it’s his story as well as theirs, and he has the right to tell it. and the right to make his abuser’s crimes as public as he wants, if that’s what he decides. but it also ignores the question of what his mother and siblings might want, and the fact is that they’re also survivors, and so in theory should have the same right as Dabi to choose their own healing process, and decide exactly how they want their abuser, who like so many abusers is also a close family member, to be held accountable. anyway, but all of that is obviously very, very complicated and I don’t think there’s a clear right or wrong side as far as this part of it all. it’s not a situation where everyone can be happy, which unfortunately is often how it goes.

anyway, I’ve kind of meandered pretty far from my original point now, so my bad. my points are, basically,

(a) I think the linked explanation does show that Jeanist is chiding Dabi for using his trauma in this specifically scheming and destructive way, as opposed to saying “shame on you for not being a good little victim and staying quiet”, which would be a ridiculous thing for Horikoshi, who’s explored the topic of abuse more thoughtfully than any other mangaka I’ve read, to randomly have one of his protagonists say.

and (b) the people calling Dabi out on his shit aren’t all smug victim-blamers who have no sympathy for what he has been through. the latter point (and a lot of this post, actually) isn’t particularly directed at you btw; it’s more of just a general statement brought on by some of the discussion that’s been going on these past few days.

anyways, I actually like that the fandom is talking about all of this! I just think it’s a very complex subject, and an even more complex situation currently in the manga. and ideally, people would try to acknowledge that complexity when discussing it, rather than simply picking a side and doubling down on it no matter what, or shooting down the whole thing as problematic writing just because isn’t a neat and tidy situation where you can simply say “oh, person A is right and person B is wrong, that’s it, end of story.” it’s not, unfortunately. it’s a messy clusterfuck of a topic that’s only going to get messier as this plot continues, so hopefully we can all just sort of brace ourselves for that lol. this is really just the tip of the iceberg, I think.

#bnha 292 #best jeanist #dabi #todoroki touya #bnha meta #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #long post #I mean we always knew the todoroki plot was going to be like this though #and jeanist had to go and open his big mouth #you brought this on yourself really my man #and now we're dealing with all this discourse I hope you're happy #do us a favor and find out kacchan's hero name for us asap so we can put this all behind us and move on to new discourse my denim friend

[fermented-writers-block]

Lus and the Human Portal Clone Theory

Even before Keeping Up A-fear-ances aired, I have been working for almost a year now on running through all the possible various suspects with wonderful folks like @sepublic​ , @anistarrose​ , and @elementalist-kdj​ . Like the post title indicates, from sheer process of elimination, the only conclusion that made sense to me was a clone made of Luz by the portal door, and I’ve been working on refining and reworking said conclusion up to the version I will lay out here.

Now, as @safetayy​ , @theowlhouseheadcanons , and @50shades-of-blue have heard from me before, the portal I've long suspected was not made to go from the Demon Realm to the Human Realm, but rather to go from the Human Realm to the Demon Realm by humans, for humans. This is because it then could tie into the hypothetical existence of a Luz clone without having the issue of asking where Eda, Lilith, and King's clones are, as the clone in this case is the result of a function of the door to create a basic level duplicate of any human that passes through it rather than it happening for just anyone that passes through.

With this, it's because the suitcase form of the portal looks as thought it indicates it was used for temporary trips to the Demon Realm, much like how suitcases were used when railways and international boats made travel more accessible for the middle and lower classes. For example:

Going by the way the door “faces” and the way it swings open, the ergonomics of the portal makes it look an awful lot like a right handed out swing door, with the Human Realm on the “inside” and the Demon Realm on the “outside.” And the arrow in the diagram depicts the general direction of traffic that such right handed, out swing doors are typically design with in mind - ergo, showing what way the portal appears to facilitate travel in.

Now, before you ask, the reason why I think the portal could have been created in the human realm in the first place is that it might require an extra component/bit of help or two from the Owl Deity which I’ve discussed before in the past as hinted by these connected designs:

I’ll explore how I feel the revelation that such a twist about the portal’s origins could play into the themes and narrative of the show under the cut, but overall, I feel these are potential significant details to keep in mind for the rest of this arc of building a new door and handling the idea of Lus having initially been made as a temporary-duration clone, hence how "Luz" comes off so uncannily in the letters as she wasn't meant for long term impersonations.

That, and why I named this the Human Portal Clone theory, for those wondering about the name.

Alongside this, my thought has been that walking back through the portal to the Human Realm basically makes the portal send a recall signal to tell the clone to return to it, where the clone would be reabsorbed into the portal and its memories are given to the original. However, with Luz going back into the Demon Realm for a brief time in YBOS, I am of the mind that it doesn’t just make another clone, but rather that doing so merely made the door turn off the recall signal and allowed "Lus" to resume the impersonation.

And as for the clone itself and why they’re writing letters to Camila, well, imagine it from Lus' perspective. To her at the time of creation, the last thing she probably knew was that she had been chasing the cute little owl that took her Azura book into the woods, and right when the bus to Reality Check Camp was about to arrive.

Also, if you think about it, Lus being the work of someone we/don’t know yet raises way more plot threads/questions than answers compared to being the work of the portal, as outlined below:

TLDR at end of post for those wondering

Belos? How and why before YBOS where he actually started paying attention to Luz for the first time and actually got his hands on a portal? 

Eda? Why would she do all this and not tell Luz she can goof around without needing to worry about her mom or the camp/in time to fool the camp, especially when it took a good amount of time for Eda to even start feeling that close to Luz? 

Hooty got ruled out from the getgo since he can’t hold pencils, King just isn’t that subtle, and everyone else that Luz knows has the major issues of just straight up not knowing about the camp in the first place. Well, that and a lack of another known method of getting to the Human Realm in the first place.

The camp? Why would they worry about a missing camper whose disappearance is all HER fault and thus would more logically result in a call to her parent than some convoluted clone conspiracy? 

And finally, some currently completely unknown third party?

If we’re talking a Changeling, A) it’d be easy for Luz to dismiss them and B) that just makes all the ominous portrayal of Lus super straightforward instead of a subversion like is the show’s shtick.

If we’re talking dimensional counterparts, A) they have to REALLY have led a very similar life to Luz’s in order for there to be enough common ground for Luz to listen, and B) dimensional counterparts aren’t even a confirmed or likely thing that people cooked up from Episode 1 side characters influenced by Amity’s concept art.

And if we’re talking some complete surprise third party group or another, it doesn’t make sense to introduce a third party and their motives and plans to the show this late in when Belos is already taking up the bulk of it all.

Hell, if anything, the continued existence of the duplicate in of itself would indicate that the target of the conspiracy is none other than Camila Noceda than anything to do with Luz or Eda, especially with the complete lack of anyone taking advantage of Luz and or Eda. 

From the getgo, Witches Before Wizards already hard-baked into the show the idea that Luz is NOT inherently special or anything into the foundations of the show from the getgo - ergo, Camila likely just is an absolutely regular human being, someone who has no justification for such a convoluted conspiracy to surround them.

That said, I believe that the idea of the portal having originated from the Human Realm could potentially play into some interesting stories to be had with Camila and Lus here, especially as the conspiracy board shot from the promo was confirmed by Dana to apparently be from S2A, not from the episodes past Yesterday’s Lie:

After all, with Luz searching the library for a way home this coming episodes, perhaps she might figure out something the next couple of episodes that allows her texts to send through, which would logically lead to the above picture. That, and Camila and Lus being confused by and trying to figure out what’s going on there.

I mean, the cabin in the woods likely has a very close connection to the portal and it’s origins given how closely tied the two structures seem to be, and as far as we can tell, Luz never mentioned the cabin in her videos to Camila, but if Lus tries to retrace her steps, that would be a natural vector to lead Camila to the cabin and thus allow us a chance to actually investigate it.

That said, all following the trail would do is lead her and Lus to a dead end at the abandoned cabin, where they would have nothing else to do except discuss their complicated relationship concerning Luz and twiddle their thumbs while waiting for Luz to finish things on her end - which while something I think would be interesting to see, I just don’t see how much of a way to keep them in the greater picture of the show without some kind of project or activity that the two of them could work together on on screen. 

And that’s what leads me to a particular train of thought here, starting with the question of what if Luz FAILS to make a working portal over the course of S2A and such?

With the possible in-universe mystery over what the heck is going on with Lus, perhaps the cabin might hold some notes from the original last human owner - if not potentially the creator - of Eda’s portal as well as potentially some of the same materials and such from previous trips.

Cue CAMILA building a working portal, following in the footsteps of the original creator and such and thus finding a reason to stay on screen, all the while potentially demonstrating both why Belos wanted the portal instead of making his own, as well as diving into the Owl Deity’s connection with the original portal. Heck, maybe the Owl Deity is only accessible in the Human Realm and that plays a part in Belos wanting to get to the Human Realm, which would bring Camila directly into contact with the magic her daughter has been interacting with.

Also, just imagine the internal conflict going on here with Lus. After all, helping Camila build a portal to get the original Luz -and hoo boy would that be a tough thing to grapple with- would most definitely do that and make both Lus AND Camila question how much the latter likes Lus vs Luz.

Like, just imagine it. There would be major chances for Lus and Camila to discuss what would happen if and when they’re finished with the portal, and what will happen to Lus’ relationship with Camila if and when Luz gets back.

Does Camila really prefer her daughter to be all more “normal” like Lus, or does she prefer the old, “weird” daughter from before the summer with Luz?

Perhaps she might be able to figure out how to strike a nuanced balance between the two, and all on a metaphorical journey to truly build a better connection between her and her daughter(s?). 

TLDR: Or in short, I can’t help but feel it would be fitting to see Camila building a bridge WITH Lus TO Luz. 

Particularly, by being the one to craft an actual working portal in the Human Realm instead of Luz in the Demon Realm, showing a parent putting in an active effort to get down to their child’s level rather than waiting for said child to try to get up to their parent’s level even if they can’t or find it incredibly hard to do so.

#the owl house #the owl house theory #owl house theory #toh theory #toh #owl deity hooty theory #camila noceda #lus #lus noceda #luz noceda #toh speculation #the owl house speculation

[beetthereet]

an analysis on alice oseman’s writing in radio silence (only radio silence since i’ve yet to read any of her other books) because wow this human can wRITE:

(this will contain spoilers so don’t blame me if i did spoil you<3)

this will just be split up to sections because i have a lot to say and this is how i organize my thoughts best.

The way she writes first person P.O.V;

The entirety of ‘Radio Silence’ is written from the perspective of our main character, Fraces Janvier, speaking from a future stand. The entire story is written in a past tense from the perspective of an older Frances who knows what will end up happening, who knows everything.

From someone who enjoys writing, first person point of view is sO HARD TO WRITE. I was honestly mesmerized by the way Oseman wrote this book. Another thing about the writing is that the first-person point of view, truly made the story feel genuine and real. I don’t know what was Alice Oseman’s age while writing this book but it honestly feels like such a true experience of a 17-18 year old who goes a huge change in her life and doesn’t really know what to do with herself, and then finds something she’s passionate about. Truly passionate. It just really feels genuine and true and so I wanted to point it out.

The way the plot builds up;

I think, one of the main reasons Radio Silence is a comforting and fun book that many people enjoy reading _and _rereading, is because of the way the plot is built. Because the book is written in the point of view of Frances, in first person, she describes the plot of the book like she experienced it. It was getting to know someone from ‘saving his drunk ass in a pub’ to ‘this is my very close friend that I truly cherish and don’t want to lose’. And because of that, the entire feel to the plot up to when the universe city fandom figures out that Frances is Toulouse and through that, that Aled is the person behind the anonymous podcast, is so... organic in a way. 

The way this book is written truly makes you feel like you’re a little speck of dust in the air, looking down at these two absolute nerds slowly become so close. You have fun with them, you laugh with them, you get shocked with them, you feel with them. You feel with Frances throughout the book in its entirety. Feeling with these characters as they slowly build their friendship is what makes the big blow when tumblr (and the internet) find out Aled’s identity. An identity he wanted to keep secret. He needed to keep that secret. Because there he could be anyone he wanted. He didn’t need to think of what X, Y or Z would think about him after he said this or that. It was his space. And through Frances, we learn that. And we learn how much it matters to him. And like Frances, we want Aled to have this space. To have this bubble. 

And as the plot moves forward from that big blow of that tumblr post revealing who Radio is (aka, Aled), we feel with Frances and for her. Because after the action of some anonymous user on the internet, she lost her closest friend at the time. She lost a person she cared so much for. And that is emphasized so well when Aled snaps at Frances outside the pub. When he yells and shouts and says things until Raine takes Frances away. And we feel so bad, with Frances. Because Aled lost his bubble, Frances lost her friend and her safe space, and everyone lost something from the situation. 

This is brilliantly brought to light even more with the ‘Childhood Kisses’ episode, where we finally see Daniel talking. We see how bad and heartbroken he feels, and we feel so bad for him because he doesn’t deserve this. None of the main cast of characters did. 

And so, Alice Oseman made us feel for her characters. From Aled, to Frances, to Daniel, to Crays, to Raine. We feel for the characters because we care for them.

The stakes;

The stakes in Radio Silence are directly tied into my last point — the way that the plot was built up. Because, if we hadn’t seen Frances and Aled build their friendship like we did we would’ve never cared about how Aled snapped at Frances. We wouldn’t have had any connection to him, and I mean yeah, losing a friend is hard, but if we hadn’t seen that the personal level of empathy to both Frances and Aled would’ve been lacked in this situation.

This is also very well seen in both the time Aled was struggling to keep his identity a secret and the time Carol almost took Aled with her on the train from uni (at the very end). We know Aled and we know how important it is for him to 1) have universe city, 2) be able to keep universe city a secret from the world and his mom specifically, and 3) not go “home” with her because that’s dangerous for him. If we hadn’t seen Aled and Frances grow close (as I’ve mentioned before), these situations would have had no emotional affect on the reader because you wouldn’t have known Aled.

Basically Alice did an amazing job, I’m in awe<33

Alice Oseman will have you falling for each and every one of her plot twists;

In the entirety of the book Alice has planted multiple little ‘traps’ for you, the reader. These ‘traps’ are just pieces of information that are never confirmed to be true, but are assumed to be based on what we know from Frances and the story so far.

Examples; the whole ‘who is February Friday ordeal’, wtf is going on with Aled and Daniel’s relationship, what’s going to be Frances and Alex’s relationship status, whether Aled was going home or not, and so much more because she is good with this shit.

Using the correct tone to convey whatever she wants to, Alice Oseman managed to keep the reader at the edge of their seat, making them think “oh this is so obvious! I know this!” thinking they had figured it out when she is ten steps ahead of you the entire time. That’s such a smart way of keeping your readers interested and invested and she did it in a way that didn’t feel annoying or ‘ugh i didn’t get this right as well damn it’ but in a interesting and enticing way because the clues — and the solution — to the actual answer were and are right in front of you the whole time.

More on the tone of the whole book;

This book can pride itself on correct tone usage with its writing. Something I personally love to look for while looking at writing critically is the tone of the writing. Does the writing feel like this or that, specifically in dialogue or first person point of view. Does it actually feel like different characters speaking or thinking or narrating, if it’s one person, is the narrating consistent? And with radio silence I can say it just checked all of the boxes.

With every chapter I can feel the exact tone Fraces would say this in if this was spoken, I can understand exactly why it’s her speaking and when she’s speaking to her mother, or Aled, or Raine or Daniel I know who’s she’s talking to and why. There’s so much personality splattered through their words both while speaking (and in Fraces’s case) while narrating honestly it was so brilliantly done I was just having so much fun the entire time.

A little conclusion since I tend to ramble;

In her book, ‘Radio Silence’, Alice Oseman tackles the first person point of view as if it’s a piece of cake, builds the plot brilliantly in a way that makes you connect to the characters and feel like they’re just chatting and enjoying their time together while actually building a plot so nicely, and when it comes into play it’s so well executed, not out of the blue, just *chef’s kiss*.

Through the first part of her book, Alice creates stakes to further conflicts so well and so smoothly it’s honestly mesmerizing, and plants little traps, tricking you into thinking one thing without confirming it while the answer is right under your nose. It’s just so well done I’m gonna sob smh.

+ the tone usage of the entire book was superb.

Anyways, hope you enjoyed my ramble. Have a good day babes <3

#radio silence #frances janvier #aled last #raine sengupta #daniel jun #crays last #febuary #alice oseman #osemanverse #writing analysis #holy fuck i finished radio silence- #alice oseman c a n w r i t e #so well- #radio silence spoilers #alice oseman writing analysis

[gointothevvater]

Her full profile is finally here! Seven pages of information! I may have gone down the rabbit hole just a tiny bit! 

.

St. Cecilia Jameson

Gender: Cis female

Status: Alive

Occupation: Singer for British rock band Stiletto ("Like the knife or like the shoe?" "Yes.")

 Family: Elizabeth Robinson, née Wallis (Mother), Bryony Robinson (Older half-sister), Esme Robinson, née Davies (Grandmother, deceased), Herakles Zafeiriou (Biological father, though she's never met him), Evander Zafeiriou (Older half-brother, who she's also never met, though they've exchanged family photos and stories via email)

Voiced by: Florence Pugh (Speaking), Lzzy Hale (Singing)

Age: A few months younger than Pickles

Date of birth: December 15 (Sagittarius)

Place of birth: Oxford, England

Birth name: Felicity Robinson (Initially, only Sammy knows this, though the rest of SnB learns it at Esme's funeral)

Nicknames: Ceelie (By Pickles and Sammy, mostly, though the Dethklok boys pick it up eventually), Star (By Magnus), princess (By Skwisgaar)

Ethnicity: Half English, half Greek (Though she's unaware of the latter for most of her life)

Height: Five-foot-one

Sexuality: Bisexual

Relationship status: It's complicated. It's always complicated. She's unlucky in love. 

Current location: London, England

Appearance: St. Cecilia is a petite woman (She's half a head shorter than Pickles!) with golden skin and long white-blonde hair, which she wears in a high ponytail. She has thick, dark brows and bright brown eyes (Skwisgaar says she has "wolf eyes"). She has three white marigolds tattooed on each shoulder, a labret piercing, and a vertical collarbone piercing at the hollow of her throat. Her ears are pierced three times each, in which she wears two silver hoops and a silver stud on each side, and she has a small black star beneath each eye. She has a Christina piercing, nipple piercings, and a belly button piercing. She has a No Time For Antivenom tattoo on her sternum, and a European robin tattoo at the back of her neck. Along her spine, she has a tattoo reading "to thine own self be true." She has a shitty stick-and-poke crown tattooed behind her right ear. She has a pear body type, with wide hips, a small chest, and an even smaller waist (Nathan can encircle her waist with his hands). She typically wears a black muscle shirt, ripped dark jeans, heavy boots, black driving gloves, and a studded black leather collar with a D-ring at the front. She also wears a Gibson pearl guitar pick on a necklace, which was given to her by Pickles when they first started dating in the 80s. She wears a silver cuff on each ear, and her tongue is pierced with a simple silver stud. 

During flashbacks to the Snakes N' Barrels era, she's shown with darker blonde hair cut in a mullet style, and only her labret and ear piercings, plus one on the right side of her nose. She wears a cropped white tank, with high-waisted jeans and black Converse sneakers. She wears mismatched armbands, one black, one striped, and the same collar she wears in the present.

Her more casual look consists of a black button-up shirt with the sleeves pushed up, which she wears tucked into a pair of leather pants. She wears pumps instead of boots, and her hair is twisted up in a clip. She keeps her collar, but doesn't wear the pick necklace or her ear cuff, and she switches her hoop earrings for studs. She doesn't apply her stars.

For fancier occasions, she wears a black dress with spaghetti straps and a very short, flared skirt, black opera gloves and black strap pumps. She, as always, wears her collar with it, and she pulls her hair into a high bun. 

Personality: St. Cecilia is cocky, witty, and teasing, but ultimately good-natured. She's a bit selfish and stubborn, but she does everything with 110% effort, hoping to impress people, even if she winds up getting hurt in the process. She'll do literally anything for validation. To say she's vain would be an understatement. She's something of a coquette who flirts with both men and women, and is she has a tendency to "think with her dick," as Tony once put it. She's slow to anger, but quick to jealousy, and she holds grudges for far too long. She's the playful type, but it's largely in a chill way. She's an obvious extrovert, and the role as frontman for Stiletto came very naturally.  

Skills & Hobbies: St. Cecilia writes good poetry, great song lyrics, and terrible erotica. She likes plants and is quite the chess player (Though she hasn't managed to beat Charles even once), which she learned during her school days. She also learned to fence, ride horses, and speak fluent Latin there.

Musical Talents: She's a classically trained singer (When she was little, she was part of her church's choir), and she writes most of the song lyrics and some of the music for her band, Stiletto. In Snakes N' Barrels, she played lead guitar on a white Jackson Pro Series Rhoads RR3, but during their reunion concert, she plays a more modern Gibson Explorer '76 Reissue 2010 Cherry. She took piano lessons for several years as a child, and she's still pretty good. Nothing outstanding, but if Stiletto needs to incorporate a piano into a song, she's perfectly capable of playing it herself. 

Relationships: 

-Pickles the Drummer: Their relationship is a complicated one. They've known each other for ages, and they've been together through the highest highs and the lowest lows, all the way down to rock bottom. She partially blames him for her late teens and early twenties being the fiasco they were, and she cut off contact with him for a long time after the SnB breakup. During the run of the show itself, the two reconcile somewhat and even become more or less friends before Abigail shows up and things start to crumble again. They have a hard time admitting it, but there's love between them, and there has been for a long time. They're both afraid to try getting together again, though, as there's a mutual fear of the relationship ending as it did the first time, with them hating each other again. They're back together at the end of Doomstar, but there's no way of telling if the love between them is enough to keep them together or if they'll just fall apart all over again. 

-Magnus Hammersmith: They were more off-and-on than anything, but they were together for years, even though quite a bit of it was long-distance. It wasn't supposed to be a serious thing. It was just supposed to be a quick fuck. Then it was supposed to be a performance to annoy Pickles, but Magnus quickly realized that St. Cecilia's feelings for Pickles were too strong for her to be any use to him in his revenge plot. The basis of their bond formed because they understood each other on a level they've never known with anyone else: Former Snakes N' Barrels guitarist St. Cecilia Jameson and former Dethklok guitarist Magus Hammersmith both understand on a fundamental level what it's like to be left behind and forgotten. Magnus caught a bit of feelings, and when Roy Cornickelson's funeral came around, Magnus warned St. Cecilia not to attend. It was their last interaction, and it forever cast him in a positive light for her, even after she learned what he was doing with the Metal Masked Assassin. 

-Nathan Explosion: They get along pretty well. Their first meeting was at a singers-only Crystal Mountain party, and they ended the evening with a quickie in the coatroom. He wrote a song about the encounter, but Pickles never figured out that it was about St. Cecilia, which Nathan thinks is just the funniest thing. He mostly sees St. Cecilia as one of the guys once she meets with Dethklok again for the SnB reunion. It's a "been there, done that" kind of deal. She's not brutal, but she's funny and she's fun, and goddamn, is she pretty, and they would absolutely hang out if they could get their schedules to line up.

-Skwisgaar Skwigelf: St. Cecilia is nothing short of enchanted by Skwisgaar. It's not a crush, exactly, but she has a huge amount of admiration for him. They've practiced together a time or two, but she's a little rusty and winds up with her fingers bleeding because her calluses have gone soft. He tends to tease her over her soft hands. A guitar god, he tells her, can't have hands like a princess. His calling her “princess” becomes a bit of a thing for them. The two of them often have brunch together, talking shit and drinking. She's good for him; He's never had a female friend before.

-Toki Wartooth: Within the series itself, St. Cecilia hasn't given Toki much thought. He's cute, but he's just sorta there. His incident during the SOBERTOWN USA concert really scared her, and she more or less avoids him after that. Post-DSR, though, their relationship changes. He, like her, was hurt by Magnus, and even with him dead, Toki misses him terribly. St. Cecilia misses him, too. As sad as it is, this becomes their common ground. Their other connection, odd as it sounds, is pole dancing. St. Cecilia does it for exercise, and Toki did it for money, and they often compete to see who's better on the pole. 

-William Murderface: St. Cecilia actually has a begrudging fondness for Murderface. He's awful, but he's also pretty funny, and she likes to hear him talk about knives and medieval weaponry, as her family home is full of such things. They clash over things, of course, but she likes being around him more often than not.

-Charles Offdensen: St. Cecilia really likes Charles, actually. He's basically the only person on the show who's really "on her level" class-wise. He attended Harvard, and she attended Oxford, so they have a great deal to talk about. They play a lot of chess and fence on occasion, and if it weren't for her feelings for Pickles and his obligation to the Church, they just might have gotten together.

-Dick Knubbler: They're friends, in a way. She thinks he's kind of a weirdo, but he knows how to have a good time, so as long as he isn't hitting on her, she likes being around him. 

-Abigail Remeltincdrinc: They became friends mostly due to the fact that they were both women in the music industry (And both working for Crystal Mountain) and supporting each other seemed the right thing to do. Abigail getting involved with Dethklok and catching Pickles's attention quickly became a sore spot, and they drifted apart after that. After DSR, things got even worse. Abigail, naturally, is glad that Magnus is gone, while St. Cecilia is devastated by the loss. They had something of a falling-out over it, and they haven't really spoken since. 

-Edgar Jomfru: Despite being very different people, St. Cecilia really enjoys Edgar's company. He merely tolerates her at first, but she grows on him, to the point where they're legitimately friends come Doomstar. The two of them often have lunch together on the roof of Mordhaus so they can get some fresh air. 

-Family: St. Cecilia's family consists of her mother, Elizabeth, her older sister, Bryony, and her now-deceased grandmother, Esme. St. Cecilia has a very formal, cold relationship with her mother, and she has no desire to change that. As far as she's concerned, her mother doesn't deserve to have a good relationship with her. St. Cecilia adores Bryony, though. Though Elizabeth brags about her, Bryony remains modest and is very close with her sister because of it. Though there's seven years between them, they may as well be twins. Esme, who passed away in 1993, was more of a mother to St. Cecilia than Elizabeth ever was, and St. Cecilia still misses her terribly. She was a big part of getting SnB off the ground, and the boys even came to her funeral.

-Snakes N' Barrels: St. Cecilia adores all the boys, of course, but Sammy is the only one she really kept in touch with after the breakup. He was her favorite long before Pickles joined. There was a pregnancy scare not long after the band took off that somehow, against all odds, brought the two of them even closer. Sammy was St. Cecilia's first love. Her relationships with Tony and Snazz were much more professional, though none of them were anywhere near professional. The crown tattoo behind her right ear was done by Tony on a drunken night in, and it was too good a night for her to even consider covering it or getting it removed. 

-Stiletto: She gets along with them all quite well! She's known Niamh McLoughlin, their bassist, the longest, and their friendship dates back to their school days. Lex Clarke and Priyanka Dayal, the drummer and the guitarist respectively, came as a package deal, as they've been more or less married for years. St. Cecilia adores them and the sweetness of their relationship. She's a little envious of them, actually, though she would never say so.

History:

-Childhood: St. Cecilia was born in Oxford, England to Elizabeth Robinson. She was raised more or less at her family's girls-only boarding school, away from her mother. When she was fourteen, she fell off a horse during an equestrian class and badly injured her shoulder. She was one of the popular girls during her school days, up until she hit fifteen and decided that she was no longer a child and had a right to demand respect from her emotionally distant mother. She quit the piano lessons she had been taking for several years and took up the guitar, though it aggravated her injured shoulder and even as a teen, she developed a dependence on painkillers. This rebellious period stretched until she was sixteen and ran away with the help of her grandmother. St. Cecilia was given her name just before she left, so it would be easier for her to hide, as well as a hefty sum to tide her over until she could get herself settled. She was only in LA for a few weeks before she met Sammy at a bar where the SnB prototype band was playing. Naturally, Snazz and Tony weren't thrilled with the idea of Sammy's kinda-sorta-girlfriend trying to become their lead guitarist, and when Snazz disparagingly referred to St. Cecilia as Yoko, she broke his nose (How could he have not expected violence when a Beatles-loving British girl was called such a horrible thing?). This earned their respect and is an event that they laugh about to this day. 

-Snakes n' Barrels era: St. Cecilia stuck with the band for several months before they found Pickles, and she was smitten with him the moment she heard him sing. Esme was an important source of financial support during their formative years. The band made it big after not too long, and they all grew quite close. St. Cecilia ended up in an ill-fated off-and-on relationship with Pickles as time went on, and to this day she doesn't remember the first time she told him she loved him. It wasn't long after his first OD and his following stint in rehab that she told him, and they were both drunk in celebration of his release. His tolerance, even post-rehab, was far higher than hers, though, and he remembers, though he sometimes hates that he does. Though there was genuine love between them, the stress of the band and both of their substance abuse problems drove a wedge between not only the couple, but also the entire band. Coupled with Pickles fucking groupies behind St. Cecilia's back and St. Cecilia's becoming a rather serious Vicodin addict to combat the pain in her injured shoulder, the band was doomed. Pickles came to see St. Cecilia off on her flight back to England, saying he would meet her there when his next residuals check came in, but he never made it, and they didn't speak to each other for years afterward. It hurt, but St. Cecilia supposed it was for the best. A clean break, and all that.

-Preklok: After SnB broke up, St. Cecilia returned to Oxford, staying with Bryony in their mother's guest house as she tried to figure out her next move. Despite her gift for writing lyrics, she had no talent for writing books, and that idea quickly went down the drain. She still received a large amount of money in residuals, but she was reduced to a mere socialite, though it mostly agreed with her. At her mother's insistence, she attended a few classes at Oxford University. She absolutely loved it. In 1992, Esme passed away. St. Cecilia only told Sammy about it, but he took the initiative and brought Pickles, Tony and Snazz with him to the funeral. St. Cecilia was initially pissed, but she really appreciated the support. That was the only time she saw Pickles between SnB's breakup and their reunion concert. He was devastated when her parting words to him were "I love you with everything I am, but I never wanna see you again." In the mid-90s, she posed for an issue of Playboy, and Pickles has a copy of the issue tucked away somewhere. It wasn't until 1998, when she moved to a little flat in London, that St. Cecilia reunited with her school friend Niamh and the idea of Stiletto came about. They found Priyanka and Lex at an open mic night at one of the local clubs, and they hit it off, both as friends and as bandmates. They played at many clubs and pubs, and they were soon found by a scout at another open mic night. They signed with the UK branch of Crystal Mountain Records and were assigned the surly but efficient Melinda Glasscock as their manager, and within three years, Stiletto was huge, due in part to St. Cecilia's residual fame from Snakes N' Barrels. Their first tour was through Europe, but the second came to America, where St. Cecilia met Magnus in a bar post-show. They got on really well, and she invited him to her hotel room for the night. They exchanged numbers and got quite close over time, with her even flying him out to London from time to time so they could hang out. Magnus knew who she was from the start, and while he planned to use her feelings for Pickles to get her on his side, that soon faded and he came to genuinely like her. She wouldn't learn who he was until later on. A few years before canon, she had a quickie with Nathan in a coat room at a singers-only part at Crystal Mountain records, and he used the fact that she couldn't fit her mouth around his dick as inspiration for Dethklok's infamous song "Glasgow Smile."

-Season 1: 

-St. Cecilia's first mention within the confines of canon is during Performance Klok, when Pickles mentions he hasn't been in a serious relationship since the '80s despite the fact that he would certainly thrive under such attention. 

-She first appears in Snakes N' Barrels, during the documentary the Dethklok is watching. The guys are a little critical when they (Save Nathan, who's known for a long time) learn that part of SnB's downfall was due to Pickles's failed relationship with St. Cecilia. There's some comedic nonsense talk about fucking one's guitarist before Pickles goes to speak with Charles. Though St. Cecilia is working on an album with Stiletto when she's asked to go the reunion, she manages to push through and finish in time, though she arrives nearly late. She finds Pickles backstage, and when he sweeps in to kiss her, she pulls away a bit, saying they can't do this, as she's spoken for. She lets him hold her close, though. The rest of Dethklok finds them like that, and St. Cecilia excuses herself to go find Sammy, Tony and Snazz. There's some talk about Pickles not leaving Dethklok, which he says he won't, but they're rather worried after catching him with St. Cecilia in his arms. Meanwhile, she manages to find the boys, and they meet with Pickles backstage. While the boys partake of the Totally Awesome Sweet Alabama Liquid Snake, St. Cecilia doesn't, as she once humiliated herself by passing out on stage and doesn't wish to repeat the incident. She presses a kiss to Pickles's palm before they go on stage, an old ritual that they were never able to shake. What happens is far worse than someone just passing out, and she and Pickles leave the stage amidst the chaos while the medical Klokateers take care of the boys and see them off to the hospital. It's a disaster. She's embarrassed and angry, and she turns down Pickles's offer of a ride home and calls someone instead, as she didn't get her money converted and can't pay for a cab. This someone turns out to be the man who's claimed her, Magnus, and Pickles is none too happy about it. He tries to stop her from going with him, but it doesn't work. 

-She isn't seen in Dethkids, but she is mentioned. When Pickles starts drinking harder than usual, he finally gives in to the urge to call her, to talk about how Sammy and Snazz and Tony are doing, and to tell her that she should steer clear of Magnus. He's so drunk, though, that she barely has even an idea of what he's talking about. 

-Offscreen, but somewhere between the two SnB episodes, Magnus and St. Cecilia abruptly break up. She has a feeling something was going on with him, but his sudden disappearance really hurt her. They had been together off and on for years, after all. A few weeks before he left, he bought her a little pink knife and showed her how to use it, just in case he wasn't around to protect her. When he left, he left his guitar behind, and she still has it as of Doomstar. 

-Season 2: 

-She's mentioned by Seth in Dethwedding, though only as "that British chick" he thought Pickles would eventually have married. Pickles nearly decks him for even mentioning her.

-St. Cecilia's next appearance is in Snakes N' Barrels II. In part one, during the advertisement for the SOBERTOWN USA concert, she's missing from the band lineup, and Pickles is both relieved and a little concerned by her absence. 

-In SnB II part two, Nathan, Skwisgaar and Toki find her among the crowd at the SOBERTOWN USA concert. Nathan asks if she wasn't invited to play, but she says that she was: She just didn't think it was right to play without Pickles. Realizing that Pickles is sneaking around backstage, she leaves to go find him and try to keep him from doing something he'll regret. She only finds him just as Tony, Snazz and Sammy start freaking out, and she only just manages to keep Pickles from killing Rikki Kixx, though she honestly doesn't mind the thought of him dead. She pulls Pickles away from the stage, where he calls the Klokateers to take care of Sammy, Snazz and Tony, and she sets to icing down his bruised knuckles. She tells him that she and Magnus broke up, and he's thoroughly pleased about it: She's too good for him, anyway. That irritates her a bit, but she tells him to call her sometime, though she insists he do it when he's not drunk off his ass. 

-Season 3: 

-Ironically, when Pickles calls her in Dethhealth to inform her that he's dying, he's in fact drunk again. She wants to go to Mordhaus to see him, but he tells her to stay where she is, as he doesn't want her seeing him like that, though she's seen him at rock bottom as it is. At the end of the episode, he's drunker and higher than ever, but he calls her again to let her know he's all right. She can't understand him, though, so he puts Nathan on to explain. She’s thoroughly relieved, but she’s still considering going to Mordhaus to see him. She implores of Nathan, "Take care of him, all right?"

-Offscreen, in the time between Dethhealth and Dethmas, Pickles goes to London for a while to appease St. Cecilia, and to their mutual surprise, it's not really all that different from how it was when they were actually together. There's lots of cuddling and kissing and great sex and just... Hanging out. It's easy for them to be together. They have their share of problems, but the old spark between them is still there. Pickles is honestly a little scared of that: What if he falls for her all over again just for her to break his heart like she did last time? The fact that she has Magnus's guitar makes him doubly suspicious. He starts drinking harder than ever to drown out the thoughts of her. 

-In Rehabklok, when Pickles's drinking is brought to the attention of the band and he's sent to rehab, he tries for a while to blame it on St. Cecilia. She broke his heart, and he drinks to cope. It makes perfect sense, until he starts to really think about it and realizes that he's equally at fault for how their relationship (And also SnB) fell apart. He realizes, after many years, that he hurt her as badly as she hurt him. And that makes him feel even worse. He talks the doctor into letting him call her to apologize, but it doesn't go well: She's a little offended that he would even consider blaming her for his drinking, given he was a drunk long before they met. "Is that what I am to you now? An excuse to get drunk and act a fool?" Not long after that, Pickles realizes the real cause for his drinking.

-Just before Charles goes to speak to the UN in Doublebookedklok, he calls St. Cecilia and cryptically asks her if she speaks Latin. She owes him a favor for getting her out of some legal trouble, so she can't really refuse. Several months before, she punched a scummy paparazzo who called Magnus washed-up, and Charles used his reeducation program to keep those involved from pressing charges or damaging St. Cecilia's reputation. 

-Season 4:

-In Fanklok, before Charles meets with the band to discuss Klokikon, he welcomes St. Cecilia to Mordhaus and presents her with an ancient-looking journal that belonged to Aurelius Isambard, one of the original prophets of the Church of the Black Klok. She's taken down to the basement, where she's introduced to Edgar Jomfru, and gets to work. 

-In Diversityklok, after he's spoken to Edgar, Charles speaks to St. Cecilia. He finds her engrossed, but thoroughly worried. She asks if this is real, and she's even more worried when he tells her it is. 

-Offscreen, St. Cecilia has been hard at work translating the journal, and she's come to a passage that seems to describe the growing tension between the band. It also mentions an approaching star, and she takes to sitting on the roof at night to observe the sky. 

-In Prankklok, when Pickles tells Nathan that he's not allowed to drink any tequila during their friender-bender, Nathan tells him he can't visit St. Cecilia when they stop in London. Pickles reluctantly agrees. Not long after, we see Pickles on his phone, though, debating on calling her just before he notices the storm warning.

-Offscreen, St. Cecilia approaches Charles about a phrase repeated over and over in the journal: Fata sidus oritur, the star of fate is born. 

-After Charles breaks the news about Ice Festival to Skwisgaar in Bookklok, he goes to speak with St. Cecilia and Edgar in the basement. She's tacked two star maps to the wall: One from the previous week and one from the previous night. There's a spot near the center of the first map that seems bigger on the second one. She looks like the world is ending when she tells him it's the Doomstar. It's real. It's coming? When? Soon, she says. Far too soon.

-When Charles tells the boys he's going out of town in Dethcamp, it's to take St. Cecilia to an observatory, where they meet with Ishnifus and spend a few days tracking the Doomstar's movement as it comes closer and closer to Earth. 

-In Going Downklok, when Pickles shows up all decked out for his meeting with Abigail, Nathan is quick to ask, "Don't you have a girlfriend?" Pickles insists he doesn't; He and St. Cecilia was hurt and angry the last time they spoke. On top of that, he believes she's all the way in London, and Abigail is right there. 

-Offscreen, between Dethdinner and Breakup Klok, St. Cecilia is tagged in the video of Pickles leaving Dethklok by a drunken Toki. She's incredibly hurt. Pickles has nothing, he said. She, apparently, is nothing.

-In Breakup Klok, Pickles tries to call St. Cecilia to invite her to his wine tasting, but she refuses to answer and sends him straight to voicemail. Towards the end of the episode, after the escape from Salacia, Charles requests a check-up on Edgar and St. Cecilia back at Mordhaus, and Pickles is stunned and angry to learn that she's been more or less within arm's reach for months. Had he known, he's certain things would have been different-- He wouldn't have tried to make a move on Abigail and he wouldn't have fucked up his chance to get back with St. Cecilia again.

-Offscreen, St. Cecilia speaks to Charles about staying at a hotel for a few days, just until Roy Cornickelson's funeral, after which she'll return to Mordhaus and her translation work. The day of the funeral, though, she receives a call from Magnus telling her she absolutely cannot attend, as he can't guarantee her safety. It's the last time she has contact with him before his death. We also see her watching the news about Dethklok's breakup and the insinuation that Abigail caused it, and St. Cecilia chucks a bottle at the TV, mirroring Pickles's actions in SnB II.

-In Church of the Black Klok, St. Cecilia is fetched from the hotel by Klokateers and taken to the Dethsub, where she meets with Charles, pointedly ignores Pickles, and goes to work with Edgar instead. 

-The Doomstar Requiem:

-In "One of Us Must Die," St. Cecilia can be seen on one of the slides, staring up into the sky with Isambard's journal held to her chest. Towards the end of the song, reading from the book, she sings, "Dethklok, they must be rejoined/Evil, it must be destroyed/No more apathetic stoics/They can learn to be heroic/Write the song that will be our salvation..."

-In "Training," while carrying the journal, she sings the lyrics, "As the prophecy foretold, the Doomstar has been born/And you all will be endowed with a power known to none." Nathan, Skwisgaar and Murderface are looking at the art of the Prophecy, but Pickles is watching her. Ishnifus places a hand upon her shoulder, and they sing together, "The Deth lights are within you all waiting to be woken/And when the five are united, the evil will be broken," in a show of solidarity.

-In "En Antris et Stella Fatum Cruenti," just after Ishnifus is killed and the Doomstar goes red, we see a shot of Charles, Edgar and St. Cecilia at the Church, watching the sky. 

-In "Morte Lumina," in a mirror to Nathan and Abigail's kiss, we see Pickles approach St. Cecilia, and she presses a kiss to his palm (Which is a really significant gesture between them) before he pulls her into his arms. 

Trivia: 

-The stars on her cheeks are actually a makeup trick, as she's afraid to have a needle so close to her eyes. 

-She smokes Honeyrose Cherry cigarettes (Which have roughened her voice a bit), but she doesn't drink to excess, save when she's with Pickles. He's a terrible influence on her, but she adores him just the same. Considering him and Magnus, she has rather bad taste in men.

-Her signature scent is Estée Lauder's Cinnabar, which features notes of jasmine, orange blossom, cloves, and patchouli. She uses a cinnamon body oil when she wants to get Pickles's attention. It always works.

-She wants nothing more than to be loved, but she's keenly aware of the fact that most of the people who "love" her only want to coast on her fame. It's resulted in her having a hard time trusting people. The fact that Pickles and the rest of Dethklok don't need to coast off her is part of why she likes them so much.

-She's an iced coffee addict, and she prefers chocolate, caramel, or hazelnut varieties.

-She was raised Catholic, and while she lapsed a long time ago, she has occasional bouts of Catholic Guilt. Her name is related to her religion, as St. Cecilia is the patron saint of music.

-Her preferred alcohol is Bombay Sapphire gin, though she also likes white wine and champagne.

-She's a plant mom. Her flat is full of plants, including a little devil's tongue cactus she bought at a farmer's market in LA when she first came to America. It's traveled the world with her! It lived in the cupholder of Snazz's van for several years, and now it lives in her kitchen, perched on top of the microwave.

-She has a pretty serious oral fixation. She's always got something in her mouth: A cigarette, a pen, a popsicle, someone's fingers, a dick. Depends on her mood. Getting her tongue pierced helped a little, as she can play with the stud, but some habits just can't be broken.

-She and the rest of Stiletto own a condo building in London together, and she naturally has the penthouse to herself. It's very airy and open, with lots of mirrors and plants and exposed brick. One corner of her living room is just a huge window that looks out on the city. It's her favorite feature. Magnus is too nervous to go near it.

#this is a lot but i feel like she feels like a real character almost #Metalocalypse #nathan explosion #pickles the drummer #skwisgaar skwigelf #toki wartooth #william murderface #charles offdensen #magnus hammersmith #mtl #my mtl #st. cecilia jameson

[miraculouscontent]

“Queen Banana” episode summary:

- The episode begins with the kwami watching Marinette finished a cape for the "superhero of creation," already done with one for the "superhero of destruction." Xuppu assumes she means Chat Noir and Ladybug, but Marinette explains that it's for a movie. Orikko asks if she'll become famous and Marinette replies that she's the costume designer and won't play along, though everyone will be on the news. She then panics that she's going to be late and hurries out while grabbing everything she needs.

- Later, Nadja is on the news, talking about the movie project, and Clara (a reporter, not Nightingale) is in the art club of the school, explaining that Thomas Astruc (an apparently "famous director" now) came thanks to the art teacher and he's supervising the students, who have made the script, storyboard, costumes, and chose to use their holiday time to make a movie. Marinette also comes into the art room in the background while the camera is rolling and trips. The reporter goes to give credit to the mayor's involvment, and he starts to talk about him directing a film, but she cuts him off to say that the film will release in the theater, thanking Bob Roth as he's the producer.

- Mylene is the villain of the story while Zoe is the hero. Chloe sees this over the news and throws a banana peel at the screen, angry that her half-sister is the star. Sabrina offers Chloe a bowl of bananas, asking if she wants another as "potassium lifts spirits." Chloe snatches one and rambles angrily about showing them how things are done in real life - her life - as she storms off. Sabrina follows.

- Cut back to the class, where Zoe (in character as her hero role) is talkng to Mylene (also in character as her villain role) and says that she (Zoe's character) loves her even if she (Mylene's character) hates her. Before she can finish, Chloe storms in and expresses how appaled she is that they gave the role to her half-sister "who came out of nowhere," and with her dad's money at that. Andre tries to say that it's the city's money, but Chloe insists that that's the same thing. She yells at Zoe and reminds her about the threats to send her back to New York if she got in her way, and now she's both in her way and on TV.

- Marinette encourages Zoe to stand up for herself because she deserves the role. Thomas says that it's too late to change things because they're meeting the translator tomorrow. The art teacher reminds Chloe that she turned down the chance to participate, including all the insults to people she threw, to which Chloe doesn't even remember. Still, she confirms that she still thinks that but won't let her sister have the role if the movie's going to the theaters and might make someone a star, as it should be her. She demands Zoe's role because everything Zoe has is hers. Chloe then leaves with Sabrina offering her another banana, and Andre insists he'll talk to her so everything will be fixed by tomorrow while nervously backing out of the room.

- Cut to later where Thomas is showing the students Bob Roth's office. However, the chair turns around to reveal a devious-looking Chloe. Marinette asks what Chloe is doing there and Bob Roth comes in with a nervous Andre, explaining that Andre said they wouldn't mind changing the script so Chloe could be in the movie as well. Marinette says that's impossible because everything's prepared already, and Bob talks about compromise and protecting one's interests, though corrects himself to say the movie's interest. Regardless, Chloe's going to be the lead now. Marinette talks about how perfect Zoe is for the creation superheroine and Chloe mentions that the next flight to New York is in 30 minutes. Marinette is seething with anger and Zoe grabs her shoulder, saying that she doesn't mind doing something different since there are other open positions in the crew. Chloe agrees to that so long as Zoe doesn't appear in the movie. Bob states that they've got a deal and they'll see Chloe tomorrow morning and Chloe tells the "losers" goodbye on the way out. Bob shoves them out the door, slamming it behind them. Marinette complains about the unfairness and Zoe sulks.

- Later in the park, things are set up and Andre is in the dressing room rambling about the movie he made (Solitude). Chloe complains that she's trying to concentrate, then yells at Marinette to stop with the "atrocious costume" Marinette's trying to put on her. Sabrina laughs at Marinette for Chloe's comment, then Marinette says that that's why it fits so well, which makes Sabrina laugh again until Chloe glares at her, at which point Sabrina awkwardly offers another banana.

- Nino is explaining that the whole population has been put into a deep slumber in the scene, hence all their extras. Marinette goes and lays down with the other students, but Chloe comes out and complains that they made her the supervillain while Mylene is the superheroine. Chloe insists she gets the main role - as she's "the good one" - but Nino argues that both roles are equally important. Chloe doesn't care and starts eating a banana. Marinette argues that they don't have time for changes, to which Chloe cries out for her father, who looks nervous. The scene quickly cuts to Nino revising the script and Thomas explains that it's not unusual to change the script last minute for production reasons. He goes to say what it's called when Marinette interrupts to say that it's nonsense, a waste of time, and giving up one's dreams. Thomas merely says that it's called "an update," while Nino tells Marinette that it's all in favor of the movie.

- They try to shoot the scene again, but Chloe throws the script away and starts talking about how they need a true superhero, baiting them with hints about a "black-and-yellow" superhero until Marinette interrupts to ask if she means Queen Bee, who she calls a "supercatastrophe" more than a "superhero." Chloe says that she wasn't talking about Queen Bee and rather a "more original character," then makes up the name "Queen Banana" by noticing the banana in her hand. Alix laughs and Chloe cries out for her father again, the scene quickly cutting to the script getting changed again.

- Chloe is now dressed in a yellow cowboy hat, boots, and a skirt, with her Queen Bee costume layered underneath (excluding the mask) and her hair down. Chloe talks about how her costume is way better than what Marinette had, but notes that something is missing: a vehicle. Marinette says that their superheroes fly, and Chloe asks what she even knows about superheroes. She cries out for her dad again, and then Chloe has a banana-themed car. However, she doesn't feel any desire to save any of the students, more a desire to throw them in the trash. Nino says they don't want to change everything again, but Chloe just says that she needs a bigger challenge. Andre sighs as Chloe cries out for him again.

- Brief moment of stuttering Marinette as Adrien (who hasn't shown up before now) is put into a cage for the part of the movie. Adrien assures her that his father said this was in the movie's favor, then is lifted up by a helicopter. Chloe is satisfied with this, as Adrien is worth rescuing, and Nino asks if they can film now. Chloe claims they need a new villain and Nino clams his head against the camera in exasperation. The students go back and forth on who the villain can be until Chloe cuts in to say that she wants a gigantic yellow gorilla who throws exploding bananas. Nino mumbles about the interest of the movie as he rewrites the script yet again.

- The villain is just a cardboard cutout with movable arms and legs. Chloe is insulted by the pathetic display, as she wants a real dynamite-throwing gorilla, but Marinette reminds her that those things don't exist. Chloe says that there's a gorilla who does something in all good movies and demands that they get some, then walks off after saying that she's had enough of them. She goes off to get beauty sleep (it's daytime), telling everyone to solve the monkey problem by tomorrow, and gets into her limo with Sabrina chasing after the retreating vehicle. Kim suggests that the zoo will lend them a monkey if they take good care of him, but Marinette rejecting the idea of actually looking for a gorilla. Max claims that it's in the interest of the movie, but Marinette snaps and yells that it's not; it's Chloe's fantasy. She says that they should get Adrien out of the cage, then she stands on the vehicle to say that they're going to film the actual story they made. Everyone cheers and there's a timelapse as the day passes by.

- Chloe arrives the next day and is confused why everyone's gone and her gorilla isn't there either. She approaches someone who's packing boxes to ask about it, but he explains that everything got filmed yesterday and the movie is probably playing in theaters now. The limo is shown hurrying to the theater and Chloe and Sabrina open the door just in time to see the ending of the movie, with Mylene as the villain and Zoe as the hero once again. The two are fighting onscreen while the class is in the theater seats (Kim in particular in awe) until Zoe manages to zap Mylene. The movie continues as on-screen Zoe then goes over to Adrien, who's unconscious, and she heals him (Marinette is briefly shown to be watching with extra excitement). Zoe's character then goes and heals everyone else in quick succession, using an imitation of Ladybug's line about freeing them from evil. Mylene's character is upset and talks about how people destroyed the earth and didn't deserve to be awakened, and Zoe argues that all of them have hope to make a better world. Mylene says that Zoe's just like them and that she hates her, while Zoe says that she loves her even if Mylene hates her, and she'll always loves her even if the whole world hates her. She also calls Mylene "sister" as the movie's plot twist and they hug as the civilians cheer.

- Everyone is clapping at the movie (barring Chloe and Sabrina), then Chloe storms down who demands to know what's going on and why none of what she wanted was in the movie. Adrien approaches with a tablet, where Gabriel explains that they convinced him to watch their first scene and he thought it was captiving; plus "Adrien was incredible," hence his supporting the movie's original script. Chloe cries out for her dad, who looks down awkwardly, and Bob Roth repeats what he said before about movies being about compromising. Marinette apologizes to Chloe, but says that it was for the benefit of the movie. Sabrina tries to offer a banana to Chloe, but Chloe shoves Sabrina away and leaves in a huff. Gabriel is then seen in his lair (the background was clearly his office earlier and there was no time transition so... ???), holding the tablet as he monologues about how this was part of his plan and Chloe is always an excellent source of "inspiration." He takes of his ascot (the disguised peacock is gold with orange accents) and unifies his two miraculous to turn him into Shadow Moth.

- Chloe is leaving the cinema when Adrien hurries after her, telling her to wait. Chloe says that it's nice of him to want to comfort her, but she's fine and she'll get her revenge in addition to sending Zoe back to New York. Adrien says that he actually was going to suggest that she apologize to everyone, which Chloe is apalled by as everyone "destroyed her movie." Adrien says that it was everyone's movie and reminds Chloe that she promised to stop being rude to everyone, adding that he told her they couldn't be friends otherwise. Chloe calls him "as ridiculous as the movie" and storms off, denying him of the title of her "Adrikins," then runs to her limo and gets inside to start crying. The amok and akuma enter the bedazzled banana clip on her hat and she gets akumatized. Shadow Moth does his usual speech about giving her what she wants and Chloe talks about wanting the gorilla she'd asked for. Shadow Moth insists that everything's prepared and goes to say what he wants in return, but Chloe handwaves it as she already knows. The limo transforms into a banana-themed vehicle, Chloe turns into Queen Banana, and her sentimonster is a giant yellow gorilla named Banana Boom Boom. Queen Banana pulls out a banana-shaped gun, shooting a civilian and turning them into a banana. The vehicle underneath Queen Banana then flies up and fits perfectly onto the sentimonster's head, and said sentimonster prepares to attach the cinema at Queen Banana's orders.

- Adrien is walking sadly through the threater when it shakes, knocking him down. The scene cuts to Adrien opening the door to the room where everyone was watching the movie, revealing that the sentimonster had broken through the roof. Queen Banana demands her half-sister, then commands her sentimonster to start attacking. Marinette and Adrien run off and Marinette grabs Zoe on the way. Adrien hurries into the boys' bathroom to transform.

- While Marinette is taking her upstairs, Zoe says that she might be able to reason with Chloe since Chloe is mostly angry with her (no, I don't get it either). Marinette points out that no one can reason with her, then tells Zoe to stay there while she looks for an exit. Marinette goes up to the roof and transforms from behind a wall.

- While the sentimonster is on a rampage, Queen Banana threatens to turn everyone in Paris into banana if she doesn't come out, adding that it'd be all Zoe's fault. Zoe looks guilty, repeating the line about it being her fault, and is shown starting at the door for the exit.

- Chat Noir shows up and mocks Queen Banana. She shoots at him, with her vehicle firing too, and Chat runs across the rooftops to avoid the beams, also twirling his baton as a defense. Ladybug then snags him with her yoyo, pulling him to her and briefly dipping him. She and Chat hide briefly as Ladybug explains that Shadow Moth was "very generous" with Chloe, Chat commenting that he's a little jealous of her armor. Ladybug talks about "nothing being better than Chat Noir and Ladybug" and Chat agrees by saying that they make a perfect duo. They go to face Queen Banana for a bit, then Ladybug decides to use Lucky Charm, transforming her into her Charm form and giving her a motorbike. She checks under the seat and finds helmets, glue, a cartridge, and an air bump. She peeks out to look at Queen Banana, her Lucky Vision spotting Queen Banana's weapon, then the glue, but nothing else. Something is missing.

- At that moment, Zoe shows up, and Ladybug has an epiphany; the missing piece is Zoe, of course. Zoe meanwhile, is giving herself up to Queen Banana, but only if she spares Paris. Queen Banana agrees, but then shoots someone immediately. Zoe accuses her that she won't keep the promise, which Queen Banana confirms and promptly commands the gorilla to grab Zoe. Ladybug saves Zoe just in time, both on her motorbike, and tells Chat Noir to protect them. Chat Noir goes for Cataclysm, but Zoe moves her vehicle out of the way and Chat Cataclysms the sentimonster, making it lose control. Ladybug facepalms and Chat Noir can only rub the back of his head sheepishly. The sentimonster pursues Chat Noir and Queen Banana is unphased, as he gorilla will just cause more destruction that way. She flies off in her vehicle after Ladybug, who rides off on her motorbike. They flee until Ladybug drives the motorbike into the subway area, where Queen Banana's vehicle doesn't fit. Queen Banana yells that she'll have to come out sooner or later, especially if she doesn't want a banana smoothie made out of "her kitten."

- Ladybug stops the motobike and tells Zoe that she needs her help. Zoe is surprised and Ladybug pulls out the bee miraculous from her yoyo. She gives the usual speech and Zoe grabs the miraculous, Pollen emerging and greets her with a bow. Zoe protests because Chloe will be mad since she was Queen Bee, and Ladybug points out that Chloe will never know since Zoe will keep her identity a secret. Zoe insists that she's not strong enough, but Ladybug grabs her shoulder and says that she knows Zoe can do it. Pollen tells Zoe the transformation phrase and Zoe pulls herself together enough to snmile and put on the miraculous. Zoe then transforms.

- Queen Banana, meanwhile, is waiting outside the subway, extremely bored. Ladybug then comes up suddenly and Queen Banana pursues. Zoe, as the bee, leaves outside another exit and runs across rooftops. Chat Noir is still facing the sentimonster, who manages to grab him when Zoe shows up just in time, making a quip about picking on someone his own size (missed opportunity to say "pick on someone of your own color" instead but I digress). She uses Venom and the sentimonster throws Chat off into the distant, causing him to splat ungracefully against a nearby surface. The gorilla throws large bananas at Zoe that poof into purple dust upon impacting with anything, but she dodges every one of them. It tries to punch Zoe in rage, but she runs up its arm and stabs it in its head, freezing it in place. Zoe lands next to Chat Noir, who calls her "Queen Bee" in a confused tone, but Zoe introduces herself as Vesperia. Chat Noir is in awe, but hears his ring beeping at him. Vesperia tells him that Ladybug needs them, and Chat Noir grabs her hand, telling her that it's nice to meet her, then kisses the back of her hand. He asks her to wait, then they both run off to recharge.

- Adrien gives cheese to Plagg, who compares Vesperia to Queen Bee using cheese metaphors, basically saying that Vesperia is sweeter, more refined, and nicer. Adrien then transforms again and meets back up with Vesperia so they can run out after Queen Banana.

- Ladybug is still fleeing Queen Banana, dodging all attacks. Queen Banana then fires at her heel, which somehow causes Ladybug to trip. Queen Banana monologues a bit, but Chat Noir shows up with his Cataclysm, hitting Queen Banana's car just as Queen Banana jumps away. Queen Banana lands next to Ladybug, grabbing her and pointing her banana weapon at Ladybug's neck, demanding that Chat give her his miraculous or else she'll fire. Vesperia then lands, asking about a fair fight versus the new bee miraculous holder, which enrages Queen Banana, who says that she's the only real Queen Bee. Vesperia smugly states that she was, but now Vesperia herself is the right Queen Bee, while Queen Banana is just the queen of bananas. While Queen Banana is watching Vesperia smacktalk her, Ladybug pulls out the glue her lucky charm had given her, pouring it into the slot where Queen Banana kept her weapon.

- Vesperia continues to taunt Queen Banana, saying that Ladybug chose her to defend Paris because Queen Bee couldn't. Infuriated, Queen Banana throws Ladybug aside and fires, Vesperia letting herself get hit and thus turned into a banana. Queen Banana steps on the banana (not squishing it or anything somehow) and taunts her, then slips her weapon back into the slot and turns to Ladybug and Chat Noir to say that that's what happens to people who have a different opinion to her. She demands their miraculouses and goes to pull out her weapon again, but it's stuck due to the glue. Ladybug talks about her glue being good - as good as Vesperia - and teasingly asks Chat Noir if he agrees. Chat Noir taunts Queen Banana and Queen Banana attempts to flee ("not again!"). Ladybug snags her leg with her yoyo ala "Miracle Queen" and trips her up, and Chat hits the banana clip off with his baton into Ladybug's waiting hand. The object is smashed, the akuma and amok are purfied, and Miraculous Ladybug brings everyone back.

- Ladybug and Chat Noir fist bump, then Chloe cuts in to say that she hates Ladybug and Vesperia, calling the latter a fake version of Queen Bee. Ladybug tells Chloe that she has to learn about controlling her anger, offering help with the amulet, but Chloe smacks it away before she sees it, not wanting anything from Ladybug and saying she doesn't exist for her (she earlier called Adrien "Adri-no one" and now calls Ladybug "Lady-nonexistent"). Chloe then runs off and Shadow Moth monologues in his lair about how "the script will be rewritten soon," sending another akuma.

- Ladybug suggests that they recharge before Shadow Moth akumatizes Chloe again. Chat Noir bows to the two of them and batons himself away, then Ladybug explains to Vesperia that the magical charm would've protected Chloe but she has to want it. Vesperia assures Ladybug that she knows what to do.

- Back at the cinema, Chloe storms in and demands her movie be made. However, Zoe shows up and tells Chloe that that's enough, and she won't play the supporting role in the family anymore even if Chloe sends her back to New York. Chloe cries out for her father, but Andre puts his foot down, saying that Zoe is right. He adds that Chloe can ask for a new phone or painting the limousine pink, but not hurting her sister. Chloe tells him not to call Zoe her sister, as she's less than a half-sister to her; she's nothing to her. She turns to Zoe and yells in Zoe's face that she hates her, but Zoe responds calmly, reciting the line from the moving about loving Chloe even if Chloe hates her and even if the whole world hates Chloe. She hugs Chloe, who looks confused, and Zoe tells her not to forget that they have the same mother. Marinette is shown watching from a hidden spot in front of the cinema as Zoe tells Chloe that their mother gave her a present, which she claims is the magical charm. Chloe demands it since she believes it's from Audrey and Zoe hands it over, saying that what's her is Chloe's since they're family. Chloe pulls away smugly and puts on the magical charm, which puts a shield around her that repels the akuma. Shadow Moth is confused, claiming that this is impossible.

- Chloe tells Zoe that she'll see that the real world is different from the movie, insisting she'll get revenge, then stomps off. Adrien passes by on Chloe's way out and he asks if she's okay, but she yells at him to leave her alone. Marinette, watching Chloe leave, talks to Tikki about how Zoe did it, and Tikki suggests that the charm may help Chloe be a better person. Marinette says "let’s hope so," and the episode ends.

#category: episode summary #episode: Queen Banana #other: ml spoilers #((Tried to slim it down by eliminating unnecessary information. Let me know if you guys like it or not!)) #((I'll always make sure I don't leave out stuff I plan on complaining about.))