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#the social anxiety is so real 😭
lordcoolington · 3 months
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everyday i fight so hard to not ghost the people i love for 3 whole years 🫡 shoutout to me for fighting the battles you don’t see. i am stronger than any us army soldier
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poirot · 2 years
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the last couple weeks reminded me of how much I hate social media culture 😭 sometimes I think I would be so much happier if I just deleted all my socials but then I remember how addicted I am to social media and don‘t have the guts to actually do it ahsjdje
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sirensskai · 5 months
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Character development is realising it’s probably not normal to feel some sort of judged for almost your every move and for every little thing you do or to feel threatened at the thought of even saying one word to a stranger and that you definitely have anxiety or something lol
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noxtivagus · 2 years
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I HAVE WRITTEN SO MUCH IN MY NOTES IN THE PAST HOUR OH MY of today n then to-do dump n other stuff too 🫣
#🌙.rambles#i write my answers for asks in my notes like i'm writing my first draft for an essay 😭😭 tbf writing long stuff here on tumblr is like#writing letters to me. i love it so so much. i ended up ranting in my to-do list though cries. that said tho.... one thing i wrote here tha#i want to ramble about in tags. thinking abt college since some relatives asked earlier. since i'm aiming to head into top unis here yh#not gna have my close friends to be in school w which makes me a bit sad 🥹 but god i'd love to one day experience studying w friends#at houses or cafes or libraries. one thing i'm excited abt growing up is having more freedom in going out w people#also thinking abt how i love childhood friends to lovers so. i want my own in a way. but ion have ^ that r potential love interests tho so#friends i have in hs are what i'd next ideally like if it were possible. cries that would be my ideal type bcs i love the idea of#growing up together in these somewhat vulnerable stages i think. we're all learning so much n so young. but nah not gna happen most likely#wna reconnect w my old friends to keep contact n widen my circle. more friends. friend groups. i'm not the most social person esp irl but#i think for most of my life i've had inconsistent friendships so it's gotten lonely? closest friends r kinda drifting away as we grow older#n w everything in the present i think i'm afraid of being left behind. i wish i cld open up. be more honest and less hesitant w reaching ou#i know what i want n i'm just afraid to seek it out directly but. anxiety. i don't want to be a bother but i rlly crave#deep and authentic relationships. i'd really seek them out but maybe the inner child in me can't really let that guard down yet ?#deep down i think i'm afraid of being hurt again n left behind. forgotten. (don't leave me behind. please stay with me. tell me it's real)#there's so much i don't want to forget. so much i want to hold unto. so much i want to do. that keeps me going. i want to learn so much#listening to kingdom hearts right now is making me emotional.... now that i'm growing older i want to do so much more#was nearly crying while writing this in my notes because it hurts so much and i think i'm so so afraid#love... whether it be familial or platonic. one day romantic too. goddamn listening to don't think twice reminds me of my young dreamer sel#& love for life as a whole n myself too. i want to keep my childhood. i'll have what i can. do what i can. ffs life's too short so#i'll reach out more. even if i get anxious embarrassed shy / i need to actively challenge that. even if i'm afraid. face my fears#like goddamn i want to open up i want to be honest. i'm not embarrassed by my emotions bcs it's human. but i just can't#i'll do it all. i really will. life goes by far too fast and i don't want to lose all of this. so i need to be stronger. better#but simultaneously i just want to rest n idk be a kid again and stop thinking and worrying so much#adolescence.... holding unto my childhood while also making steps towards adulthood. n i'm so afraid but i know it'll be alright#so long as i trust myself ? i know a lot of pain. i'm certain that i'm capable. but. ffs. tears in my eyes. (i'm afraid. i'm so afraid aren#sorry for the rant i just realized again n. yk i'm human n that's something i need to be constantly reminded of#spending time with people and indulging in my passions give me life but. the former is so fleeting n i'm afraid of being left alone#the latter is so hard when time's going far too fast and it feels like i can't keep up with it all#'don't think twice' : 'if you want to make it happen/ nothing's impossible / all you gotta do is say the word/ the walls will crumble'
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lizthewriter · 9 months
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i think there's been a glitch / theodore nott
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PAIRING  Theodore Nott x studious!shy!Reader
SUMMARY  Theodore Nott was well known for the sort of happenstances that occurred in his dorm. However, the new transfer student seems to catch his eye in particular - that transfer student is you. His friends think that, at first, he has his eyes set on you for more sinful reasons, but he soon proves that his intentions are more romantic than anyone ever thought.
TAGS  Theodore Nott x Reader, angst, if you squint, idiots in love, cursing, kissing, study buddies, friends to wtf is this to friends with benefits but also wtf is this to lovers, theo is a simp, reader is not slytherin, can be any other house, reader has social anxiety, references to sex, underage drinking, headmaster's list = dean's list, gender neutral reader
"We were supposed be just friends, / you don't live in my part of town, but maybe I'll see you out some weekend, / depending on what type of mood and situationship I'm in, / and what's in my system," - Glitch by Taylor Swift
WORD COUNT  3.2K
WRITTEN  27.08.2023
A/N This came as a burst of inspiration during calc class when I realized I was really the only person answering my professor's questions in my classes, lmaoo 😭😭 so this is purely self-induglent. i hope you guys enjoy <333
When you had transferred to Hogwarts, you hadn't made very many friends. All right, you hadn't made any friends. Because you had transferred to Hogwarts so late in your academic career, everyone had already formed their own friend groups. No one had any real interest in you - that was, they were interested in why you transferred, but not in assimilating you into their social circles. Your professors, however, had grown quite fond of you, most likely due to your dedication to your studies. And eventually, around midway through the fall semester, you were called into the Headmaster's office. It had kept you on your toes all day - had you done something wrong? Gotten in trouble? Your mind had come up with most elaborate and unlikely scenarios that might have cause you to get called into the Headmaster's office.
You were awarded the honor of being added to the Headmaster's list. Only two others in your year were granted the same honor - Hermione Granger and Theodore Nott. All three of you were maintaining straight O's. You and Hermione had never gotten the opportunity to grow close - it might have been the fact that she was much more close-mindrd than you, or the fact that she didn't have the time to spare to make new friends between her studies and all the "Chosen One" stuff going on. You wanted to at least make one friend, instead of an academic rival, which you made the mistake of creating at your previous school.
So, you approached Theo after the meeting, your hands clamy and shaking while you stuttered out your request to study together. Theo simply watched you with those dead eyes of his before nodding. It had unnerved you but you pushed yourself to confirm a date and time with him. And so began your little friendship.
You were never meant to be more than study partners. Weekly study sessions in the library grew into bi-weekly gatherings, which then grew into daily meetings. And then you were meeting each other after class, making inside jokes, hanging out just because. Slowly, but surely, you and Theo grew close. You weren't sure you had ever been this close with anyone before. It was like he just knew you, not only like the back of his hand, but like every square inch of his body.
And Theo? Theo had never saw you coming. He didn't know that he wanted to be friends with you until you were friends, and then he couldn't stop coming back. You were like a drug. He needed another hit each and every time he saw you. Soon enough, he was aching to spend every waking moment with you. It had started as nothing more than a mutually beneficial partnership, but it grew to be much more than that.
It took him a while to realize he loved you. Cared for you. He was well reputed for sleeping around and having a general devil-may-care attitude. He knew that he loved you when he began to grow tired of the constant flings and one-night stands. When he called off the on-and-off relationship he'd had with a particularly vivacious Slytherin girl. He hated the way girls threw themselves at him, vying for his attention like wildcats fighting over a piece of meat. You weren't like that. You were perfect.
He knew he wanted to ask you out. His friends scoffed at the idea, thinking he was joking. They were shocked when they realized he was serious. Mattheo had even knocked on his head, asking if Theo was really in there. It had to be perfect, so he went to the only people he knew who had ever been in serious relationships. Mostly everyone had told him the same thing - find out what you liked. Woo you. It was rather simple. "For someone who is so smart, you're rather stupid, you know," Blaise had told him. He secretly agreed.
First, he had bought a collection of muggle novels for you at a book store on a forgotten. It had beautifully decorated covers, guilded with golden etchings. When you had sat down to study one day, Theodore had dropped it on the table in front of you while he pulled out his books.
"What's this?" You had asked in confusion.
"It reminded me of you," he said simply, pulling out his spellbook and flipping through it to find where he had last left off.
You furrowed your brows as you pulled the box towards you, unclasping the front of it and pushing it open. You let out the small gasp at the gorgeous hardcovers resting inside, hands trailing along the sturdy spines. Five Muggle Classics, the interior of the box cover said. "Theo . . . " Your voice trailed off at the thoughtfullness of the gift - you were left utterly speechless. "I can't take this. I can't imagine how expensive how this was." You slid the case of books back to Theo. He stopped it, pushing it back towards you.
"Take it. I can't return it. Besides, I got it for you. I would hate to see these go to waste."
You bit your bottom lip before pulling the box back towards you, a smile spreading across your face as you pulled out one of your favorite muggle classics. You flipped through the pages, allowing that paticular new-book smell to wash over you like the waves on a shore. "Thank you," you mumbled softly.
-
You never came to parties. Mostly because you hated all the drinking and crowds and the mixture of stroking lights and booming music that made you dizzy. But you had started to develop feelings for a particular friend of yours. He was tall, devilishly handsome, and more intelligent that anyone you'd ever met. He smelled of evergreen trees, cigarettes, and lilac. You felt for him in a way that you had never felt for anyone else. You were always so laser-focused on you studies, but you realized that your attention had been straying towards a paticular someone as of recently.
You knew he hung around these sort of parties, finding pretty girls to have a fun night with. You wore the most insanely inappropriate dress you could find, hoping to catch his attention. You weren't exactly sure what your goal for that night was, but you were certain you wanted it to end with you and Theo, alone.
Of course, Theo was shocked to see you there. Even more shocked to see you out of the jeans and sweaters you usually wore, standing in a tight little number that had him practically frothing at the mouth. Not that you weren't always stunning, but you were stunning stunning. He wouldn't have approached you normally, but with the alcohol currently coursing through his system, he had a boost of courage and stupidity.
Five seconds later, he was standing right behind you, calling your name. You turned around to face him with a grin. "Hey, there you are."
"What are you doing here?" It sounded much more like a statement than a question - he was seemingly distracted by something else about you.
"I came to see you, silly. And to see what all the rage is about."
"And?"
"I've come to the conclusion that parties suck."
Theo laughed, something hearty that rumbled through his chest. "Want to go somewhere else?"
"Please," you responded with a role of your eyes. "I'm starting to get a headache." You had stupidly accepted a drink and chugged down the bitter alcohol earlier - that didn't bode well for your head when you were already bothered by loud music sober.
Theo's eyes searched the room for somehwere that might be a little quieter - his eyes landed on the staircase to his dorm. Well, where else was there to go? He lead you up the steps, the two of you laughing as he kept you from stumbling down the stairs, and guided you to his dorm. He sat you down on the bed, grabbing a glass on his bedside table, and filled it up with the spell Aguamenti.
"Thanks," you said sweetly, taking it from his hand and taking a long sip. You took a good look at the room, easily able to tell whose area of the roo. was whose. Mattheo's was messy - clothes strewn across the bed and floor. Draco's was neat and filled with a variety of potions book, his bedside table cluttered with potions of a variety of colors, lined up in orderly rows. Blaise had a poster of his favorite Quidditch team plastered on the wall, as well as a family photo filled with all his siblings. Theo's, however, was minimal and tidy aside from the piles of books. His bed was neatly made, the corners of the covers tucked under the mattress.
You finally met Theo's eyes and finally saw some sort of emotion - it took you a moment to identify it as hunger. You glanced down at the outfit you were wearing and flushed, your eyes staying firmly on the ground.
"You look very pretty."
You felt your heart stop in your chest. Had Theo called you . . . pretty? You were in shock - sure, you had come to the party with more than friendly intent, but you had never expected that he would actually notice you the way he had noticed other girls.
"Y-you - you look very handsome."
Theo watched you for a moment - he was standing only a foot away with arm wrapped around the four-poster, hanging off from it slightly. There was an odd sort of tension in the room - you both knew what you wanted and you both knew you wanted it now. Both of your inhibitions were lowered because of the alcohol, so it was that one split desicion that changed everything. Soon enough, his lips were planted into yours, one hand cupping your cheek and the other trailing along the side of your body. Everything had happened so fast - it went from the hand on your hips guiding you down onto the mattress to clothes strewn on the floor to sleeping heavily within each other's arms. It was hours before you woke again, and you were grateful that none of his friends had come up from the party yet. He helped you get dressed, a look of almost disbelief settled into his features as you left, sending him an awkward smile before you closed the door. What had he done?
-
The next day you had studied together like nothing happened. You cracked a joke. He laughed. You helped him with Transfiguration, he helped you with Ancient Runes. Another day passed. And another. And another. Theo was going beyond mad - what were you two now? Were you still friends? Were you dating? He felt like he wanted to yank all his hair out of his head.
That was, until about a week later. Late at night, the two of you were studying in the library. He was huddled next to you, embarrassingly distracted by your beauty while you were trying to help him with a homework problem he got stuck on. He finally snapped back to attention as you pointed to something on his parchment, leaning downwards to see exactly what you were pointing at. At the same time, you had turned your head to see what had him so distracted. The resultant situation: your noses bumped together and he could feel your heavy, hot breath on his lips.
Flashbacks to the night you shared soared through both of your minds. And it was you, this time, who had made the stupid desicion. You lunged for his lips with desperation, fingers snaking through his hair, a hand planted on his chest. He had tensed in surprise before returning the kiss with equal fervor. It wasn't long before you were quickly packing your things and Theo was dragging you to some abandoned room, your lips entangled as he pressed you up against the wall. The moonlight seeped in through the red glass-stained windows, dancing deliciously on your skin. Forever engraved in his memory was the picture of you, the only word on your lips being his name, grasping his shoulders with need.
-
Neither of you knew what kind of relationship you had descended into. It involved rather intimate gatherings from time to time, but for the most part, you were just friends. It was an almost seamless friendship between you two - except for the nagging thoughts at the back of both of your minds that kept you wondering if the other really felt the same way.
Theo buried his face into his hands, surrounded by a group of friends who had utterly no idea what to do. Their eyes watched him with trepidation and worry. It was oddly concerning how much he was stressing over this. Theo never seemed to stress about anything. But here he was, hands fisted in his hair, staring down at the ground in utter disillusionment.
"I've ruined everything. All cause I couldn't keep it in my fucking pants."
"That can't be it, mate," Mattheo tried reassuring him. "Look, you said they're different, yeah? All the other girls you've slept with found someone else after you. But they keep coming back for more. That has to mean something, right?"
"Yeah, you've just got to romance them," Blaise said. Theo groaned.
"Please never open your mouth again."
"I'm serious. Take her to Hogsmeade, that'll show them."
Theo leaned his face upwards, staring at Blaise. He was right - taking someone to Hogsmeade virtually meant asking them out on a date. You had to know the innuendo by now, being at Hogwarts as long as you have. "Blaise, you're brilliant." He clapped his friend on the back, rushing out of the dorm to find you.
-
You scanned the bookshelves for books with more information on Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration. The idea fascinated you - how come you could conjure any sort of non-edible object from nothing, but with food you couldn't? At the root of it, everything was made of subatomic particles, then atoms, then particles, and so on. So, theoretically, anything could be created from nothing, correct?
You were so enraptured by your own thoughts that you had no conception of your surroundings and bumped right into someone walking straight towards you. The books in your arms tumbled onto the floor and you flushed a bright red, bending down to pick them up.
"Gosh, I'm so sorry!" you exclaimed, hastily collecting the books from the ground. The boy, who you hadn't really looked at yet, bent down to help you collect them as well. "I wasn't looking where I was going, I'm really -"
As you stood up, you finally got to look at his face - and it turned out to be Theo. His face was just barely flushed, and the emotion in his eyes held a deep meaning that you couldn't quite decrypt. You didn't have a chance to ask him what he was doing, because he beat you to it.
"Go to Hogsmeade with me."
"I'm sorry?"
"Hogsmeade. You and I. Interested?" His tone was strained, and you realized what emotion finally lay beyond those dead eyes. Fear.
You knew what he was insinuating. Was he - asking you out on a date? Did that mean he really did like you? More than just as someone he could have a little fun with time and again, someone who was just a friend. You stared up at him for quite a while, not realising how silent you were as you sunk into the rabbit hole of your own thoughts.
"I - erm - all right, then." You were still quite in a bit of shock. "Will you -"
"Yeah, I'll wait for you outside your common room." The fear in his eyes seemed to dissipate, his shoulders sagging in relief.
"Right. Yeah, sounds good. Great."
-
You had bundled up for the cold weather, a thick scarf wrapped around your neck and a hat with your house emblem on your head. You tried to dress in something nice underneath the layers of warmth - it had taken you a long time to decide what exactly you wanted to wear, but you had eventually come to a conclusion.
When you exited the dormitory, you found Theo bundled up with an equal amount of layers, yet he looked just as attractive as he always did. In his hands, he held a single rose. You flushed a bright red, especially as a group of first year girls giggled as they exited the dorm behind you.
"Hello," Theo said simply, handing you the rose.
"Hello," you responded shyly, taking it gratefully and holding it in your hands. You smiled nervously, rocking back and forth on your feet. "So."
"So. Are you ready?"
"Yeah."
"Okay." Theo grabbed your hand, holding it gently. You hid your face from his view, not wanting him to know the kind of affect he had on you as he lead you through the castle. "What do you want to do first?"
You had weaved your hand through his arm, resting your head on the edge of his shoulder. "Hm. I need some more quills. But we should definitely stop at the bookshop first. I want to see if they've gotten anything new."
"Okay."
Theo had never been a talkative person - and you had never really minded it, not until now. You wish that maybe he might just tell you he had feelings for you, more than feelings that only arose every once in a while. It would make this so much easier on you. But you were nervous and shy and had a hard time talking to people, even one's you've been friends with. So you remained silent on the walk there.
Theo could tell it was an uncomfortable silence. Not only did being the quiet one meant he could read a room easily, he had also been around you long enough to know when you felt uncomfortable. He stopped the two of you from walking - you were already walking the path to Hogsmeade, snow lightly covered both of your heads.
"What's wrong?"
"N-nothing."
"You don't have to lie to me."
You bit the interior of your cheek nervously. Did you really want to destroy what you had with him? You were content with keeping your relationship the way it was. At least, that's what you convinced yourself.
You felt your gaze being drawn back to Theo, his fingers resting under your chin. "Don't hide from me, love, tell me what's on your mind."
"Love." You felt your heart melt into a puddle of hope and embarrassment. "Theo . . . what are we?"
Theo grabbed your hand and held it up, intertwining your fingers together. He looked at them, with something akin to fascination, and muttered, "What do you want us to be?"
You paused. "I want us to be together," you whispered, looking up at him with eyes of despair. Theo felt his heart wrench at the sight of it. He raised his other hand, brushing it lightly against your cheek.
"Then let's be together," he whispered back. He leaned downwards, meeting your lips in a soft kiss. It wasn't like any of the kisses before that - no, those were passionate, desperate, lust-filled kisses. This was loving, caring, blossoming. He dropped your hand to cup both of your cheeks in his hand, his nose biting into your cheek. "You and I. I like the sound of that."
tags: @plants-are-pretty-cool @annaisabookworm @maricardigan
Thank you all for reading! Be sure to like, reblog, and comment! I really appreciate it ^^. If you have any requests, by inbox is open but make sure to check the list of characters I write for here. If you want to be tagged in any upcoming fics/headcanons of mine, let me know. If you want to see more from me, go ahead and check out my masterlist here!
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natriae · 2 months
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thinking about my ushiwaka again 😪 so sad he's not real 😭😭
Ushijima who came a little bit out of his shell in college
Ushijima who's had a crush on you for forever
Ushijima who had an abusive mother and used volleyball as an escape and outlet for his anger
Ushijima who's social anxieties stem from his bad family life
Ushijima who has a hard time with confrontation, so he normally just nods his head when someone scolds him
Ushijima who will randomly tell you inspirational quotes
Ushijima who will quietly recite commercials word for word
Ushijima who genuinely does not realize his size. Thinks he's a lap dog fr
Ushijima who's favorite animal is a cow. He has plushes of them and little figurines in his room. They just make him so happy.
Ushijima who loves the bustling city life because it distracts him from his thoughts
Ushijima who knows a lot of random information because growing up he had many different hyperfications
Ushijima who wants nothing more than to be loved
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the13thghost · 2 years
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This is a hug for you 🤗 💜 I hope you have a great day today 💗 love you!🌸🌸
I'm so sorry, I just saw this today!
Thank you soo much, I really appreciate that!! 🥰 This makes me so happy, sending love and hugs your way, too 🤗💜
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agnimybeloved · 2 years
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didn’t think that komi can’t communicate would be my thing but i’m glad i gave it a chance ‘cause the visual direction of it is so fascinating.... especially for the genre that it is i was really surprised <3 the blackboard scene was Phenomenal and i love the text elements they sprinkle in throughout... the S1A intro especially is SO beautifully animated and compliments the music so much-- which is also like. again. the music has no business being THAT GOOD for a generic slice of life 😭 the tracks are so unique and beautiful and feel exactly appropriate for the visual look they’re going for... 
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onestopfanficshop · 1 year
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könig headcanons
warnings: afab!reader, mentions of unprotected sex, oral sex, thigh riding and fucking, and an (accidentally) broken condom lol
A/N: this is so self indulgent LMFAO. can you believe i've had this sitting in my drafts for over three weeks? i hope y'all enjoy bc there's not enough content for this man fr! gif not mine :)
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will use your fingers as a human fidget toy
he likes to rub his chin when he’s thinking real hard about something
loves grapes (green ones only, and they have to be cold)
the left corner of his nose constantly gets dry for whatever reason so he’s always needing to put extra lotion there
hums under his breath without realizing it and it's the cutest thing ever. especially if he’s alone with you, or if he’s just relaxed and in his element
he really loves to cook but he's too lazy to do the cleanup after he's done
has better than 20/20 eyesight; idk, i just feel deep in my soul that he does
if he's lying on his stomach and you start rubbing his back or scratching it, he'll literally melt it is the most relaxing thing in the world to him
his morning voice is super deep and raspy. i feel so strongly about this it just has to be true
is a snob about bread. he just likes a nice warm loaf of well baked bread okay?
when you first started dating, it would sometimes scare him when he would wake up in the middle of the night and see you lying there peacefully next to him; he had never shared a bed with someone else before so it took him a while to get used to it 
but once he does he literally will treat you like a human body pillow. which sounds cute in theory but it's not 😭 like if you need to go pee in the middle of the night, good luck getting yourself untangled from him without waking him up (spoiler alert: it's not really possible to do bc he's the lightest sleeper on planet earth). you can either hold it or deal with a groggy and slightly grumpy könig the next day lolol
is the clingiest bf ever. if you let him, könig will sit on the floor next to you while you’re in the bath and hold your hand if you dangle it off the side of the tub while you watch a show together
speaking of baths this man hates taking them. he's never found a tub big enough to fit him so he just doesn't bother. he hates when his skin gets super wrinkly from being in water for too long anyways
loves to put a bunch of creamers and sweeteners in his coffee. the first time you took him to starbucks he was like a kid in a candy shop when you told him all the different flavored syrups that they had
doesn't like swimming; i mean he knows how to do it (bc of his job) but it's not his favorite thing to do. he feels like the water is always working against him lol
yeah he has social anxiety but when he's with you? especially once he gets comfy with you? yeah that's a different man entirely
like he loves to tease you constantly, is very cocky, and is super funny in a witty dry humor type of way
is absolutely the type of boyfriend to keep a joke going once he sees you're laughing really hard at it just so he can continue to hear your laugh :,)
know how to make jams from scratch for some reason; his favorites are peach and strawberry jam
one time he finished making a fresh batch of jams; you tied cute little ribbons around the jars and jokingly said you were "proud of the jams we made"
könig shaking his head because you didn't do shit except for stir a few times and sneak some tastes when you *thought* he wasn't looking (he's always looking)
buuuut he loves you so he plays along and tells you that you did amazing
makes fun of you if you like to watch cheesy or dumb shows but then 10 minutes later he's on the couch next to you, fully invested and asking you who the characters are and what's going on in the plot
is bad at sharing his food. even with you. he's more than happy to get you seconds but just don't touch his food, alright?
love language is 📢PHYSICAL TOUCH📢
followed by acts of service and quality time obviously. but yeah... the man is handsy. better get used to it
nsfw
first time you guys did it, it was awkward but in a really cute way. he was very, very nervous but also overly confident at the same time somehow? it was a potent mix
he'd watched porn before and gotten himself off but he didn't really know what to expect irl. he just knew that he wanted to make you feel good
when you tried to put one of the condoms you had on him, it broke. this man is huge so EVERY part of him is huge. like it just split clean in half 😭 and he turned bright red and started apologizing profusely 
it was super intense up until that happened and you just started bursting into giggles which just made him grab your neck and kiss you to shut you up
that laughter turned into moaning real quick mhm
you eventually just told him to pull out and you would take a morning-after pill just in case; the prospect of fucking you without a condom made him more excited than he wanted to admit 
has a ridiculous amount of stamina, we're talking three rounds at the absolute LEAST
LOVES thigh fucking and cannot get enough of it. especially since he can go for a lot of rounds, and if you tire more easily, he loves it as an alternative. something about cumming all over your thighs sends him into overdrive
speaking of thighs, thigh riding? oh yeah. that'll do it for him. that'll do it! his eyes would go so wide with awe at the fact that he could make you feel that good without doing anything. especially if you wrap your hands around his neck and you're so close to his face that your noses are touching; you're panting and trying your hardest not to moan loudly so no one else will hear? he's gonna fucking fall apart
whenever he's on top of you, he's infinitely careful to not put all of his weight own you, despite you telling him multiple times that you wouldn't mind and that you could handle it
dirty talk would get him flustered but at the same time, he'd have the stupidest grin on his face if you did it 
if you wear lingerie he'll like- he'll literally die and go to heaven. especially the fancy ones with the garters and the stockings, even though he has absolutely zero clue how they work. like i'm imagining him sitting on the edge of the bed, you standing in front of him and staring right into his eyes as you guide his hands to the garters to take the stockings off (JUST GAVE MYSELF BUTTERFLIES LEMME RUN A LAP REAL QUICK)
okay i'm back where were we
i feel like what he does after you're done sort of depends on you. like if you get a huge burst of energy after sex and you wanna stay up and talk he will totally do it. but also if you're the type of person that immediately falls asleep after he'll go right to sleep with you
if he’s on top and you dig your fingers into his biceps he will bust right then and there. trust me.
THIS MAN EATS PUSSY FOR PLEASURE PERIOD. i will not accept any other truth. he’ll literally grind down into the sheets while he’s eating you out and has probably accidentally came a few times from doing so. he especially loves when your thighs squeeze around his head, and all the pretty little noises you make when he does it. as soon as he can tell you’re close he starts to give you the most intense eye contact while he’s doing it and it’ll probably send you over the edge
he loves being on top because he can cage you in and he has access to your neck to give it non-stop kisses and hickeys
but on the other hand he also loves it when you're on top; his hands will never leave your hips and he'll be gripping onto them like his life depends on it
when he cums, he cums hard and a lot. it's basically like a fountain... sometimes, when he does it while he's still inside of you, there'll be so much that it actually leaks out of you and onto the bed
was kind of self conscious about it and felt bad for making a mess until you told him it was nothing to be embarrassed about and it had actually turned you way on
for someone that doesn't prefer to talk all that much outside, this man is--whew. he is vocal like he is fucking paid to do it. especially when he's about to cum or if you're on top of him. this is a man that is not afraid to moan fr fr.
he's always asking you if you're okay and if what he's doing feels good to you. "is this alright?" is a sentence you've heard countless times and yet it still gives you goosebumps always
unspoken rule that if you're wearing his clothes you're gonna get fucked right then and there 😭 just accept it. könig seeing his SO in his clothes is always gonna do it for him!
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mrzombielover · 1 year
Text
— könig relationship headcanons
rating; sfw and nsfw
warnings: nsfw, virginity, this is just filthy and not really edited and a spew of random disconnected thoughts
a/n; oh my actual god tysm for 1k+ likes on my ghost drabble i did NOT expect any attention so thank you😭
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to get in a relationship with this guy you def had to make the first move, he’s too shy to do anything
(i’ll prob make separate headcanons w him pining over you tbh)
but once you ARE in a relationship? man
his severe social anxiety manifests in a way that just makes him really awkward. like🧍
clingiest boyfriend alive, mf like 6’10 250 lbs clinging to your arm when u go in public and asking you to order for him
doesn’t know what to do with himself when you’re not there. you leave and he just waits for you to come back.
he just loves you so much, he’s not stupid by all means but you’re the one that thinks for him and he’s happy w that arrangement
likes when you refer to him as big guy or esp YOUR big guy bc yes. he is a big guy. thanks for noticing :)
while he couldn’t be a sniper bc of his size, there are some perks to his height. namely scaring the ever loving fuck out of any guy he may be jealous of
he’s not vocal and much too shy to really do anything but he will stand over your shoulder vaguely threateningly glaring at the guy.
he’s incredibly easy to fluster, part of the reason he likes wearing a mask is because you won’t be able to see how easy it is to make him blush
this is heightened in public places, because of his shy nature any type of pda drives him crazy and he gets wound up very quickly
gently touch his arm or chest when talking to him, put a hand on his shoulder or thigh when laughing, get his attention touching the back of his neck, literally any of the tamest touch will have his face and ears all hot and red.
not just touching him, either, just existing as hot as you are in his presence makes him stiff.
doesn’t talk a lot in general, and i don’t think that changes in bed. he’s a quiet person, so treasure the groans you do get to hear
down so horrendous
everyone knows the quiet guys are the hung ones
and man is he PACKIN
i hope you have a size kink because everything about him is huge, from his stature to his muscles to his cock
i’m thinking upwards of 8 inches, insanely thick and a deep reddish color, tip color #b3505e
due to his anxiety and quiet nature, he has had extremely little experience with relationships and sex. he was bullied in school, and i can’t imagine him having a lot of practice before meeting you
my little meow meow so easily flustered and blushing bright red the whole time
his thoughts are probably “oh my god oh fuck wow holy oh my god oh my god” and he can’t form any real sentences or coherent thoughts
probably busts prematurely and then he’s so embarrassed, would freak out about it until you calm him down and tell him it’s okay
then he’d make it up to you
what he’s lacking in experience he makes up for with eagerness, he’s a fast learner and attentive to detail
gives AMAZING head. once he learns how you like it it’s over for you. has his head buried between your thighs for hours, and his tongue in combination with thick fingers splitting you open will have your legs shaking and you crying
if you ever don’t want to sit on his face for fear of hurting him or hover above instead of putting your weight on him he looks at you like >:((
leans towards the submissive side, will do anything you want him to do and is down to experiment
when it comes to what HE wants tho… he is much too shy to ask to try stuff out it takes a lot of courage u might need to infer some things
enjoys being submissive the majority of the time but there are times when he gets so wound up and desperate he’ll just take you how he wants (lord have mercy…)
in these situations i imagine it’s probably been a bit since you’ve last had the chance to be… intimate. naturally you take it upon yourself to tease him whenever given the chance, trying your hardest to make him blush
he also has an extremely high sex drive, he’s an absolute beast of a man and can go for 2-3 rounds without break. just crazy amounts of stamina and strength. this in combination with you teasing him means you’re really in for it the second you have some alone time
no matter how much you weigh he could pick you up and handle you like a rag doll. he is HUGE and insanely strong as previously mentioned
in conclusion just big and strong and very much loving and protective in his own weird 🧍 way
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**these will be elaborated on soon trust i plan on doing nsfw alphabets for the whole task force + my boy
masterlist
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lovebugism · 7 months
Note
shy reader you say???
i’m obsessed with eddie and shy reader 🥹🥹maybe like her being afraid to present during class and him pumping her up and mouthing words of encouragement during a presentation at school😭😭sounds stupid but i’d love this
this is a wee bit different but i hope you like it anon :D — eddie helps calm your nerves before a presentation (shy!reader, hurt/comfort, tw for mentions of panic attacks, 1.2k)
fictober (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ)
Study hall turns into an impromptu panicking session.
You break down on the rotted park bench outside the football field, surrounded by textbooks and falling leaves. The only thing keeping you halfway tethered to reality is the crisp autumn air filling your burning lungs. Everything smells like rain and very distinctly of Eddie.
He’d been a good enough sport to help you prepare for your history presentation, but he certainly hadn’t signed up to coax you through a nervous breakdown because of it. 
Your boy’s a good enough sport even now, though, sitting beside you at the creaking wooden table — chin on the crown of your head, ringed hand over your heart. 
You tend to dig at your chest whenever your anxiety attacks get real bad. You’re not sure why. Maybe to soothe your palpitating heart or to pull it out entirely.
“What were you trying to do, babe?” Eddie laughed into your hair as you came down from your panic, lightening the grey mood and smoothing a warm palm over your tight chest. “Pull your damn heart out?”
You can breathe halfway normally now. The hurt in your chest has lessened to a very distant one. Now you’re just left with the post-panic shame. You feel like a little kid again, making monsters out of the clothes on your desk chair.
“I don’t know why I got so scared,” you confess, as quiet as the autumn breeze, rubbing your cheek against the soft lapel of Eddie’s leather jacket. “It’s not even that big a deal.”
The boy shrugs, jostling you accidentally. “Well, your brain thinks it’s a big deal. And your brain’s just telling your body that it needs to protect you.”
You don’t know much about your own anxiety and maybe that’s a fault in itself. It’s not the sort of thing you wanna poke with a stick, lest you wake something up that should’ve stayed sleeping. You just ignore it as best you can — let it fester until it explodes into moments like these. 
Normally, Eddie isn’t around for them but you’re grateful he is now. ‘Cause he loves you and because he cares enough to learn all the things about you that you don’t even want to know about yourself.
He didn’t know much about anxiety before you. He just knew that his mom had it when he was real little, and that social anxiety is scared of him and not the other way around. But then he fell in love with you and learned everything he could if it meant he could treat you better.
Now, it’s practically in his nature to be as gentle with the rest of the world as he is with you — which is totally not one brand for him.
“But you don’t need protecting, right? ‘Cause you’re safe.” 
You nod wordlessly. 
Your throat tightens again like you might cry, but it’s not because you’re scared. It’s because you love him so damn much you think you could explode. He fills your chest with sunshine, banishing the swirling shadows completely.
You could probably light up a whole galaxy with how happy he makes you feel. 
How adored. 
How safe.
“And it’s okay to be scared about this stuff, you know?” Eddie continues when you stay silent. His chin grazes your hair when he pulls back to look at you. “Everyone’s scared of something. Like Steve— I’m pretty sure he’s, like, deathly afraid of quicksand.”
He keeps his arm around your back when you lean away from him, keeping you warm when the crisp breeze brushes between you. You sniffle and blink at him with wide, wet eyes. A hint of a smile quirks the edge of your bitten mouth.
“Quicksand?” you repeat incredulously.
Eddie grins back at you, happy to see you smiling again. It’s pink and lopsided and terribly unkissed. “Yeah,” he affirms through a sputtered laugh. “And I’m pretty sure quicksand isn’t even real, so— at least you’re afraid of something that actually exists.”
Your own giggle tumbles suddenly from your mouth. Both because quicksand is obviously real and because Steve is one of the bravest guys you know.
As usual, Eddie’s totally oblivious to how much of a dumbass he is, but he beams anyway. He’s just happy to be a distraction for you when the rest of the world gets too much — a life vest when you’re drowning. 
Your smile ebbs into a quieter one. Your glassy gaze flits to the clammy hands you wring feverishly in your lap. “I just… I know it’s dumb and everything, but— speaking in front of everyone like that— it makes me feel… I don’t know. It makes me feel way more scared than a person should ever be, like… ever.”
“I mean, yeah, it’s scary. But you can handle it,” Eddie shrugs with all his practiced nonchalance. The absentminded confidence he has — that he has in you — makes you feel all warm. “You’re the smartest person I know, and you know this shit like the back of your hand.”
He waves a pale hand to the cluttered picnic table you sit in front of. Flashcards, clumsily written notes, and open textbooks scatter the top of it.
You know all of it forwards and backwards now — so well you could probably do the presentation in your sleep. If only you weren’t so dreadfully frightened of opening your mouth in front of people you don’t know.
Eddie gives you a warm, reassuring squeeze on your arm with one hand. He smoothes a rouge wisp of hair from your forehead with the other. He could see you getting distant again. It’s important to keep you grounded when you get like that — he read that in a magazine once.
“And by the end of the day, it’ll just be you and me and an empty trailer, and you will have much better things to worry about than this,” he continues. A mischievous smirk blossoms on his rosy lips. His chocolate eyes sparkle with it, too. “I’ll have you so damn distracted, you won’t even think about this stupid presentation again.”
You meet his boyish grin with a challenging squint. Smiling despite yourself, you knock your shoulder into his side at his teasing. 
The sentiment is still there, though. Presentations are stupid and fleeting. Eddie’s here and forever.
“Yeah,” you murmur under your breath. “I guess you’re right.”
He scoffs. “Of course I am.”
You shoot him a half-hearted glare that he meets with a more sincere beam. 
“You’re gonna be the bravest scared person the world’s ever seen,” Eddie tells you, more serious now. 
He isn’t telling you not to be scared or distracting you from the fact that you are. He’s affirming your fear, reminding you that you can be brave in the face of it. 
“And you’re gonna show every single one of those losers what a super genius looks like.”
You roll your eyes at that last bit, pretending you’re not as comforted by his presence or the words he says partly in jest as you really are. 
Because he’s right. It’s not about forcing yourself not to be scared. It’s about being scared and doing the shit anyway — being brave and giving a stupid presentation even if your voice trembles and your hands shake.
And god, nothing makes you feel braver than Eddie.
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aethelwyneleigh27 · 7 months
Text
Cod Characters General Dating Headcanons (part three)
+ Random and Some bits of Chubby Fem S/O Headcanons with mentions of different nationality S/O
+ What type of BF/GF they would be
Including König, Kim "Horangi" Hong-jin, Keegan P. Russ, Philip Graves (+ some headcanons including the Shadows), Makarov
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
Fem terms and pronouns like she/her are used for the reader
ꕥ HOPE YOU ENJOY! ꕥ
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My rules for requests and characters I can write for
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A/n: I tried so hard to get this one out in time with the other but my other wips are getting to me 😭. I posted twice today just to feed y'all ahaha.
Disclaimers/warnings: Typical Cod things, OOC characters???, Unrealistic, Some suggestive themes and language, I'm so sorry but English is not my first language so please don't come after me. Most of the content I've seen are on TikTok and Tumblr I don't actually play the game but I love the characters so much, same with any other content I have for other video games.
Tiny sidenote: the reader in this has been describe to be shorter than the characters and has been mentioned to have a soft body rather than the muscular type.
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König
ꕥ (PLEASE DON'T COME AFTER ME, I DON'T KNOW ANY GERMAN AND I'M USING GOOGLE TRANSLATE)
ꕥ Speaking of König, I don't think this man is the shy boy that some people is making him out to be (not that he doesn't have that side at all, I just feel like they make it his whole personality). Based on voice lines alone this man is cocky asf.
ꕥ There's a reason for his mask, yes he was bullied as a child because of his looks and that's one of the causes to his social anxiety but that doesn't mean this mf is shy. He just like to avoid people and social interactions yk. (Y'all have no idea how much I can relate to this)
ꕥ Has and will continue to use his height to his advantage, someone bothering you while you're both sat having a wonderful time together? This mf stands the fuck up, shoulders back, chest out and everything. Looming over that person while glaring down, arms crossed while they're engulfed by the shadow of this 6'10 behemoth of a man.
ꕥ Chubby!Reader? He'll throw you over his shoulders, only using one arm below your ass while he carries you off. Seriously it is no problem to this man, he'd beg you to sit on his face and suffocate him. If anything I'd say he has a preference for it yk, very soft and plush reader for real.
ꕥ Our DIY king here wearing a shirt for a hood, his hair sticking out of the hole for the head whenever he's dressing casual. Play with his hair like right now, you'll make him melt right then and there.
ꕥ Enjoys cuddling, hasn't had many partners and by that I mean kinda none. Nobody was insane enough to approach him till you came around so he's very touch starved. He didn't even know he enjoyed touching that much till he was able to feel the amount of warmth your body gives him. He'd swear on his life that he was intoxicated in that moment.
ꕥ Whenever you sit or straddle on his lap, he's still so fucking tall. I swear you will gain neck pains if you wanna keep eye contact while talking to him. (I understand the struggle, I am a 5'1 girly. Every character I know within the CoD universe is taller than me 😭)
ꕥ Doesn't actually wear his mask around you, he's comfortable and trust you enough to know you wouldn't go around telling everyone what he looks like.
ꕥ Nicknames he'd call you in German are Mein Schatz, Fräulein, Liebling, Engel and Kleine Maus
ꕥ He's still definitely bitter about not being a sniper. (AHAHAHA)
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Kim "Horangi" Hong-jin
ꕥ (IF I'M BEING HONEST, I DID NOT EXPECT HIS VOICE TO BE THAT DEEP. ALSO HIS VOICE LINES IN KOREAN/HANGUL (IDK WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT)
ꕥ He has doodles on his tactical gear that he did himself (there are also one that are a tribute to squid game because man's had a gambling addiction), has asked you to draw on it too and he proudly wears it when on duty. Will feel stupid while unconsciously smiling if you draw a heart.
ꕥ Writing something down on his vest from your own mother tongue and he's asking the meaning, if it's genuinely something good like a compliment or something like "I love you" then you will catch this man with a shit eating grin.
ꕥ He used to be a gambler before entering the military and it eventually got him to stop, though he still has a thing for risk, he got himself a more deadlier alternative.
ꕥ Expect surprise back hugs, this man isn't called Horangi for nothing. He's stealthy, I like to think that whatever he says to you is well thought out as well. Man knows how to think before he speaks.
ꕥ Horangi likes to pounce on things, just for the fun of it. It leads him to tackle you on your shared bed a lot, lots of play fighting too.
ꕥ HAS THE PRETTIEST EYES EVER. Like seriously, the only people who knows what he looks like is you and König. Had gentle eyes, you know that quote "His eyes softened", yeah that's the definition of his eyes.
ꕥ Loves it when you trace the veins on his arms with your finger nails, will just straight up offer his arm to you.
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Keegan P. Russ
ꕥ This man and his panty dropping voice like holy hell I have never heard a voice as deep as his without a vocal fry (from those try hard guys on TikTok who try to hard thinking their thirst traps are good).
ꕥ Calls you "kid" in an affectionate way? It's honestly just what he calls anyone younger than him, you're shorter? He'll emphasize on that shit. Elaborating on the nickname I said earlier, he uses it less when y'all are dating but still does on some occasions.
ꕥ Would say the most dirty and uncalled for things, whispering it in your ears. He's and asshole in the best way possible, loves it when you gasp and playfully slap his chest.
ꕥ He's sweet though, would see you as his wife even if you're not married. You're his now, the moment you entered his life, he basically had a death grip on you.
ꕥ Something tells me that he likes talking about you or to you through radios yk. His voice sounding even deeper through the device, calling you doll even though he's supposed to refer to you with your call sign.
ꕥ Praise kink? I mean you've more likely heard his voice lines, is the type of man to praise you and ruffle your hair, either that or he'll kiss you depending on what stage of your relationship you are both in.
ꕥ Constantly thinks his eyes are weird even though they aren't, he just has sleepy eyes. Speaking of sleeping, I feel like he has such a fucked up sleeping schedule and is used to pulling all nighters more than the normal person.
ꕥ Will drag you in bed though and lay his whole weight on top of you because you ain't going nowhere, you are staying there with him and only him.
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Philip Graves
ꕥ (If it isn't "Fix It Felix", please tell me I'm not the only one who sees it AHAHAHA)
ꕥ Philip is touchy, somebody for the love of everything that is holy cuddle this man please. He is just screaming at any type of physical contact at this point. (My sources? Right fucking here)
ꕥ Is the type of boyfriend to come home to you and just hug you, y'all would be there for a solid 10 minutes before he lets you go. Burying his head into your neck and just inhaling your scent while having his arms wrapped tightly around you.
ꕥ His Shadows? More like his fucking children, again going back to the TikTok. He knows how to get their attention, the little pats on the shoulder and small praises are his way of saying they did a good job and they're eating it up.
ꕥ That being said, you are either gonna be their mother figure or someone they enjoy protecting because their dad is so fond of you. Why not be both right?
ꕥ You cannot tell me this man won't be next to the grill, spatula, tongs or whatever kitchen utensil in one hand and a cold bottle of beer in the other.
ꕥ Spends his weekends with you on his lap while he watches football in your guys' couch, you're definitely scrolling on your phone during this.
ꕥ You cannot tell me this man doesn't wear cowboy hats and boots because he certainly does, is it a turn on or a turn off? I genuinely do not know..
ꕥ Is fruity on some aspects but would never fucking admit it..
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Makarov
ꕥ Y'ALL ACTUALLY THOUGHT I'D WRITE FOR THIS MAN? NAH THIS ACC IS WHOLESOME (OR ANGSTY) AND ION THINK THIS MAN IS SALVAGEABLE. (This came from a girl who once was obsessed with Tom Riddle for years when she was 13, I recovered from it dw)
ꕥ This man would literally use anyone and anything as leverage for whatever he wants to achieve. (Yes I am one of those "I can fix him" people but damn idk if this man is fixable)
ꕥ Please don't tell me you actually genuinely think this man would be good to you.. I knew what I was writing was unrealistic but damn y'all are delulu on another level (so am I, stay delulu). Jokes aside I love y'all and he's one of the few I won't write for. (AHEM Severus Snape (that greasy mop haired mf)
ꕥ And yes I understand most of my shit are kind of OOC but damn if I wrote him, it would be extremely fucking far from canon and I don't like romanticizing toxic relationships (if I ever do write it, it will be angst and I can't ever promise a happy ending).
ꕥ Happy April fool's! (I know I'm posting this end of September (it's actually October now 😭)
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v5ttelfilms · 8 months
Text
sweet dream was over ☽ mick schumacher
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gossf1poutlet news of mick schumacher and y/n leclerc previously being in a relationship trends as the number one topic across social media, following an unfortunate leak from their private accounts. both the schumacher and leclerc's have expressed their opinion on this matter, via a strongly worded 'love letter' from legal counsels that represented their respective families. on a statement that was recently released, both parties have similarly urged everyone to refrain from making unnecessary assumptions and encouraged the public to rally against the spread of misinformation and baseless accounts of the pair's alleged relationship. their representatives also promises to pursue legal actions against the culprit.
username the whiplash i got from seeing this all over my tl still makes my muscles spasm😩
username extremely amazed at how they managed to keep it a secret for so long
username yes!!! no one expected little leclerc to REALLY pick one off of her dizzying number of suitors /gen
username thanks for adding the geniune tag op
username anytime🫡 we ride at dawn for little leclerc in this house
username please present your simp card at the checkout
username sure, do you accept the laminated one or does it have to be the government mandated one?
username so... timeline recaping anyone? 🤔
username they probably got together during 2019 or 2020
username seems that way, funny if you account the arthur and mick prema timeline aswell
username got together late 2019 or early 2020 and probably broke up late 2021 or early 2022, but that's only my intelligent guess 🤷‍♀️
username around the same time mick was having haas problems too? fcking brutal
username did the article say to not make unnecessary assumptions or did it not??!🙄
username this news has devastated me more than my own breakup... and that mothertrucker cheated on me with my bff. brb hurling and crying into the void.
username they were so perfect 🥺
username forever enchanted, my treasure. FOREVER enchanted MY treasure. FOREVER ENCHANTED MY TREASURE!!
username are u okay, do u need intervention?
username send all the help you could give my way tysm🥰
username rocking back and forth while hugging my knees to my chest type of thing
username pretending they never broke up for my sanity
username probably the reason she never had the guts to attend a grand prix
username she was getting educated and winning pageants, but yeah?
username these dts fans
username 💀💀
username tell me who was the champion year by year?
username where'd you get that from, netflix?
username so mick HAS game, but i never thought i'd learn it this way😞
username throwing up and shaking trembling and hurling and screaming crying
username love is NOT real
username it's literally the way mick coined the jewel/gem nickname for y/n before the rest of the world started calling her monégasque's pearl 🥺😭
username he has bragging rights forever
username he subconsciously knew it!!!
username never letting any man call me homie from now on
username girl—
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2021, Switzerland
"y/n? what are you doing down here?" corinna asks you, mildly taken aback to see you down at the kitchen just around midnight.
you look up from blankly staring at the keys of your laptop, evidently surprised to see the older woman standing just a few steps away from you. you didn't hear her footsteps or anything.
"just..." you trail off, grappling for an appropriate response as to why you were sitting in the dark, barely awake, in the middle of the night. "files," you lie, unconvincingly.
corinna hums, and you knew she was barely convinced by your pathetic excuse, but she had too much tact to call you out on your lie. she wasn't blind, or oblivious as the kids these days would say; though she was considerably older, she still understood the worries and anxieties of the young heart.
"it's very late, schatz." she chides gently, touching your shoulder. "you shouldn't be working this late, it's bad for you." her tone was heavily laden with a motherly lilt.
"stunts my growth," you utter softly, smiling at her. corinna chuckles, pressing a chaste kiss to your cheeks. "and you can't be miss universe if you're short."
"you trust me too much." you remark teasingly.
"you ought to take over the world, darling." corinna laughs softly. "now, are you up for some warm milk and some- what do you children call it? tea sharing?"
"close, you're well versed with today's lingo. should i tell uncle michael that he should be worried?"
"he should always be worried." she says seriously, which made you tip your head back to laugh. she smiles at you, fondness clear as a day. "that's how you keep them on their toes. never make them feel comfortable."
spending the break with mick and his family in their summer home in switzerland has been a tradition of sorts. and alongside your fairy tale like romance with the youngest of the schumacher's, you had also become incredibly close with the rest of his family.
corinna grabs two glasses and neatly places them on the counter, she opens the fridge to get the carton of milk and pours a generous amount to each glass. she swiftly pops it in the microwave, before turning and giving her sole attention to you.
"i'm happy to see you laugh again, schatz. suits you better."
"that's very accusatory. i have been laughing, and smiling all week." you insist, light heartedly.
"maybe so, but not as pretty and geniune as now." she replies, "is there anything wrong? is it mick?" her tone was heavy with concern, looking both distressed and dreading your confirmation. it could have been her son that was the cause of the shift in your demeanor.
you look down at your lap, feeling the tears prick at your eyes upon her overwhelming bout of concern she plainly wears on her face. it reminds you so much of your own mother, and of which, corinna has easily become a substitute for when maman wasn't around.
"it's nothing." you clear your throat, "he's wonderful. he always is." you tried to smile in fake cheer.
"that's good." she smiles softly, "i was just about to say, that he loves you. he tells me everyday, he tells his father; he tells everyone willing to listen how much he could not fathom how you ever came to be in his life," she narrates earnestly, emotion heavy on her voice, "and he'll spend every waking moment of it to do right by you. to make you proud."
you closed your eyes, trying to will the tears at bay. "he tells me everyday too," your voice shook with emotion, throat welling up with tears. "and i know he means it. i do. but he— he never stops feeling like he constantly has to prove something, or be someone, or win everything." you weren't able to stop the tears, even as your eyes were closed. you finally open your eyes to see corinna's teary ones aswell, "and i— if i am the cause of it, i don't... i no longer feel worthy of his love."
you physically, felt all weight of pretense leave your body; finally being able to put to words the emotions, and complex thoughts you've bottled up, in fear of speaking it into existence. your shoulders sank, your defenses crumbling, as you broke down into inconsolable tears, weeping at your hands.
you felt arms wrap around you, weading through the shame and guilt you felt at your admission. you'd expected corinna's blame, but you never counted on her consolation. she held you. sympathetic and kind, and gracious; and understanding.
"it will be okay, schatzi." she says in the strands of your hair, "it will be. i promise you."
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noxtivagus · 2 years
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IT'S WEEKEND TIME BABY TIME TO REST 🫶🏼
#🌙.rambles#i have a lot to do as usual but#not really academics since i've done most of mine for next week :>#then it's break.... n my birthday oh my god#c: i can really only properly let myself rest when i don't have any impending task due in the very near future. like within 3 days#like being overwhelmed sctually is sob smth i kind of relish in . admittedly i do admit i like in part how the pain makes me feel more alive#BUT ! ok in academics where if i let that negatively affect me it'll impact my work. fuck noooo#but being overwhelmed with . like rn all my gadgets. all these games. all these misc things to do#i live in them. i goddamn really do. i love the weekends bcs i actually genuinely set them apart as a time for rest#probably bcs i actually get enough sleep;;;; even if i sleep at 5 and wake up at like 2 pm then that's all good#i will catch up on the many things i wna do regarding social media. one at a time yk wtvr i can do each n every time#i want to watch. n read. animanga n non-fiction etc etc#n my health ! i will take proper care of my hygiene n eat properly. sob. hopefully 💀#fuck i don't want to look at the date bcs it gives me anxiety 😭 time goes by too fast n it leaves me lost n confused#not really sure what to believe in. real or fake?#nyways my night is ruined /pos bcs i downloaded the sims 4 earlier n i ended up afking in ffxiv for 8 hours i think#not consistently but . HDJFJKSJDA 🫣#ALSO IM CRYING INSIDE MY LUCK.... i have won Twice. for literally all the quizizz games we have held#in the gaming org of my school 🥹 bestie i'm just guessing . n i have fast fingers . oh my god i got so shy#talked a bit earlier w an online friend i haven't checked up on for like a month i think n#bro it makes me so happy when. like statements like '() is always listening to either ff osts or nier automata osts' 🥺🥺🥺🥺 YES#goddamn i am thinking again but that's precisely why i'll cope right now my drowning n losing myself in all. of this#in the end maybe the feeling of success n pride i gain from these small yet. essentially worthless achievements made of fiction#no it still matters to me. even if it's worthless in the end it still means so much to me#i have all the time i have. i am free to do as i wish. n i'll accomplish as much as i can#but there's the pressure of time. of how fleeting and inconstant it is in a way. n that weighs me down.#of the prospect that right now i could already be doing so much better but ffs life is a journey#n there. there's just not enough time for me to be enough in a given moment.#but i know i'm still trapped in a way w those overly idealistic n perfectionist thoughts. those destroy me#help i didn't mean to ramble but everytime i address n write it down it's as though. it's really just always laying there dormant or smth 😭😭
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aita for not wanting the zine I'm in to be explicitly pro-palestine / wibta for therefore not promoting the zine?
the actual problem is a lot more nuanced than that so don't judge just based on that 😭
I'm in a free fandom zine, and we've been working on it since january 2023. it's been a huge labor of love for me (I contributed three pieces!) despite me being less into the fandom recently. our zine is about to be published on social media for ppl to download for free, which is exciting! but the head mod told the group chat that due to the recent conflict with israel/palestine, they wanted to include a message in the promotional post stating that the zine was always intended to be free, and if ppl want to support us they can donate to humanitarian aid for palestine instead.
here's my stance on the israel/palestine conflict: I think it's complicated. obviously I don't support israel's government, but I also don't support things palestine has done. I think both sides are losing a lot of innocent people, and I want to be compassionate to both palestine and innocent israelis/jewish ppl who are experiencing very real grief rn. first of all, I hear abt the conflict so much in real life, I would like to not also have to think about it on my silly fandom app for the one hour I'm on here a day. but on top of that, I don't want to make my social media explicitly support only one side or another, because I think that takes away a lot of nuance from the issue.
anyways, most ppl in the zine chat said that message was a great idea. I personally didn't want to have that message on the main promotion post that I was planning to reblog a lot on my tumblr. so I asked if they could include that message in a separate faq post instead of the main post, and I explained my reasoning (basically that I didn't want to trigger my or other's anxieties about real world conflicts) and one other person agreed with me.
the zine mod said they understood but since it was just a one paragraph message, they wanted to include it anyway. atp I realized nothing I said would change their mind, so I just didn't respond. I get that it's not my zine and they can run it however they want, but it just sucks that now the zine I'm in is being connected to real world stuff that I didn't want to have to connect to my fandom safe space.
anyways, so now the zine is about to come out, and I don't want to reblog the promotional post or advertise it on my blog. when a month passes I'll post my piece (per what the mod has allowed us to do) but I don't plan on promoting the zine anymore. so my question is: was I TA for asking the mod to not include the pro-palestine message in the promo post, and WIBTA for not promoting the zine at all?
reasons I think I'm TA: this is literally not my zine, and I shouldn't be telling the mod what I want the zine to support or not. also it would be shitty of me to just outright not support the zine
reasons I think I'm NTA/NAH: I think my concern is valid, and I can do whatever I want forever
What are these acronyms?
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hangingoutwithcorpsez · 5 months
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Viva x Barb angsty headcanons
(because im sensitive and stupid)
Barb
She's VERY insecure about struggling with relationships, but never really shows it. (looking at the movie scenes where she says that her kingdom tells her only what she wants to hear and how upset she is about poppy's card) All her heart really needed were friends and love, but she put too much pressure on herself.
Easily gets jealous over Viva, because of her abondment issues. She still feels like a pop troll could not love a hard rock one, especially knowing her conflicting past. This starts most of their fights, as Barb can just be TOO MUCH with that.
Insanely pressured about her role as a queen. She's scared of becoming what she used to be, no matter how much time has passed.
Struggles to control her emotions, especially anxiety and anger. That sets a specific picture of her to some, with only her closest ones knowing the real Barb, and only Viva understanding and supporting her through it. It even seems like her soft spot exists only because of Viva.
Used to be deeply depressed (before the events of World Tour) Thinking that "reuniting trolls" with her music is the only solution to her personal emptiness and pain. Not knowing yet, that the event that's actually going to change her is meeting a specific curly haired troll. (but hard rock was probably involved in that event, let's be honest)
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Viva
Is deeply traumatized after the bergen attack and how she got seperated from most trolls. She falls into PTSD episodes in which her colors fade away and she leds Clay to cover her work.
Just after they started to form their mini-civilisation, she was still completely disturbed and turned to auto-agression as a coping mechanism, leaving scars on her body.
She's still frightened by bergens, trying to start a bond with Bridget, but the rest... Poppy still has to convince her to them, as Viva prefers to not visit them, if not necessery.
Feels VERY lost in Trollstopia. Not like it's a bad place, but it's so overwhelmingly different to her, that she feels like she has missed too much to normally function there.
Easily falls into panic and anxiety attacks as she's a really stressful troll. She still struggles to take part in bigger social events among unknown trolls. But Barb goes EVERYWHERE with her to support Viva, as well as giving her little motivational speeches before it.
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Probably gonna write more some other time but now i'm really tired and i just have to let my imagination live here😭😭 AND ALSO I DONT WANNA GET TOO SAD ABOUT THEM MY BABIES DESERVE A HAPPY LIFE (which only means that i will make more post yapping about them)
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