I feel like sharing this. I wrote it a while ago based off my burn out :p
Burn Up, Burn Out, Little Star
Lately,
I've been
Thinking and thinking
But reaching no end
Squirrelling away
In that place my thoughts tend
I think that I’m sleepy
I think that I’m beat
A sec to rest
Would be pretty neat
I just want to close my eyes
Indulge in things that don't feel wise
What do I care?
Why should I care?
If things go wrong
There's a creature in my chest
Pacing, pacing, I can't rest
Pacing, pacing, back and forth
I'm scared you'll see it and my worth
The creature's in my brain
Doing its song and dance all over again
I'm here with it
The exit’s there, but I can't fit
The guiding light has not been lit
A single task becomes seven, eight, twenty
My plate has already got plenty
Burn up, burn out, little star
No one should wonder where you are
You're just a blip
Some shoulder’s chip
Your dreams have told you so
Your heart has told you so
By now you should know
You're just a blip
Some shoulder’s chip
That heavy heart
Is just the start
Oh, heavy mind, oh, weighty soul
Go back to hiding in your hole
Deep in your head, you can be just be
Cross the line to fantasy
Your problems don't dwell there
This hell won't follow there
Your mind and spirit turn to air
Now your body's lost its pair
It's all done and dusted, then?
You’ll come back to reality exactly when?
You can't just not exist forever
You know this farce is far from clever
You’ll dopamine yourself to death
Reality will steal your breath
With the punch you're soon to get
Are you feeling sick yet?
The creature’s in my insides
Pacing my lungs, my stomach, mind
It churns my gut to see them try
I can't reach back, oh, ceaseless ‘why's
I waste my time in just a blink
It churns my gut to watch me think
Reality is just a blip
Reality’s my shoulder’s chip
Burn up, burn out, little star
Your supernova travels far
That heavy heart
Is just the start
Your mind and body; worlds apart
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One of my favorite parts of phase 2 (and indeed one of the few moments I resonated with IDW Prowl) was when the neutrals were coming back to Cybertron and Prowl said that he refused to let Autobots be pushed aside and overruled after they were the ones who fought for freedom for 4 million years (the exact wording escapes me atm).
And I mean, that resentment still holds true even once the colonists come on bc like. As much as it's true that Cybertron's culture is fucked up, and as funny as it can be to paint Cybertronians as a bunch of weirdos who consider trying to kill someone as a common greeting not important enough to hold a grudge over.... The colonists POV kind of pissed me off a lot of times, as did the narrative tone/implications that Cybertronians are forever warlike and doomed to die by their own hands bc it just strikes me as an extremely judgemental and unsympathetic way to deal with a huge group of people with massive war PTSD and political/social tensions that were rampant even before the war?
Like, imagine living in a society rife with bigotry and discrimination where you get locked into certain occupations and social strata based on how you were born. The political tension is so bad there's a string of assassinations of politicians and leaders. The whole planet erupts into an outright war that leads (even unintentionally) to famine and chemical/biological warfare that destroys your planet. Both sides of the war are so entrenched in their pre-war sides and resentment for each other that this war lasts 4 million years and you don't even have a home planet any more. Then your home planet gets restored and a bunch of sheltered fucks come home and go "ewww why are you so violent?? You're a bunch of freaks just go live in the wilderness so that our home can belong to The Pure People Who Weren't Stupid And Evil Enough To Be Trapped In War" and then a bunch of colonists from places that know nothing about your history go "lol you people are so weird?? 🤣🤣 I don't get why y'all are fighting can't you just like, stop??? Oh okay you people are just fucked up and evil and stupid then" ((their planets are based on colonialism where their Primes wiped out the native populations btw whereas the Autobots and OP in particular fought to save organics. But that never gets brought up as a point in their favor)) as if the damage of a lifetime of war and a society that was broken even before the war can just magically go away now that the war is over.
Prowl fucking sucks but he was basically the only person that pointed out the injustice of that.
And then from then on out most of the characters from other colonies like Caminus and wherever else are going "i fucking hate you and your conflicts" w/ people like literal-nobody Slide and various Camiens getting to just sit there lecturing Optimus about how Cybertronians are too violent for their own good and how their conflicts are stupid, with only brief sympathetic moments where the Cybertronians get to be recognized as their own ppl who deserve sympathy before going right back to being lambasted.
Like I literally struggled to enjoy the story at multiple points because there was only so much I could take of the characters I knew and loved being raked over coals constantly while barely getting to defend themselves or be defended by the narrative so like. It was just fucking depressing and a little infuriating to read exRID/OP
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Reading the 5th vol of 7th time loop LN .. still on chapter 2 but I gotta say ...
The way both Rishe and Arnold is like "I don't care what anyone says about me but I won't allow them to cross the line nor say something bad about you" then get angry and defensive for their sake is just killing me you had no idea 😭🩵
It has such depth to it that I wanna dig up ugh .. it also reflect both their life and personality or the way they led their life till this point ....
What I mean is ... it's kinda painful and tragic that both of them don't care much about their self-value although showing in different ways/meaning .. that it stems from different circumstances yet the end result is the same ...
Having someone be angry for you and show they actually see the real you is ... liberating .. that everything you did till this point wasn't for nothing .. that you can be you .. the real you and that's okay .. having that one person is enough for you ... that's what it meant for Rishe this kind of action ..
While to Arnold it'll have a different meaning .. he himself will never see any kind of value in himself other than bringing misfortunate maybe, he doesn't even believe he's a kind person ... even his kindness to Rishe serve a purpose to him nothing more or less ... but even so, it's still a real kindness no matter how tainted it is .. he need to realize that deep down he actually kind despite how twisted or tainted he actually is .. his kindness is still alive in him ... Rishe gonna show it to him before anyone else ... she'll let it bloom to show its true self for sure one day ... he believe the bad things people says about him ... he himself also led them to believe most of it ... maybe also deceiving himself before those which led him to actually believe that it's the real him ..
So Rishe standing up to him .. not allowing anyone to badmouth him is just ... nothing he ever experienced that he doesn't know how to feel or react about it ... maybe even feel guilty toward it ..
While I believe Rishe is confident in herself and love herself more than anyone else thanks to all her past lives ... in her first is where she went through that self-worth depression when she thought her life has ended when that idiot prince broke their engagement .. that's why current Rishe won't be that shaken with whatever anyone else says about her. She moved on from all of that.
But Arnold doesn't have that mentality toward himself, he really doesn't see any self-worth in himself. The way he doesn't care about what anyone said about him is because part of it he believe it himself, the other he don't see himself as a good or kind person and to him he doesn't worth anything. The last one is that he truly doesn't care about anyone's opinion of him. He doesn't wanna bother.
So having Rishe defend his image has shaken him differently ...
While Rishe broke her shackles long ago thanks to all her past lives, Arnold is still shackled and not free as she is ...
Ummm ... I feel I went rambling without sorting all my feelings or thoughts, so if I make no sense don't mind me. Also I'm still reading through this but I couldn't contain my emotions or thoughts and had to write it down somewhere (maybe reading on either gonna change my view or confirm it too)
But anyway, I'm in pain, in love, and screaming and I'm still in the start of this vol that I don't know if I'll handle more going forward .. they're killing me 😭🩵
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Doug and Elaine Thomas: A timeline since DC is incapable of being consistent
Zero Year, They are introduced
Endgame, They get Jokered™
Death Metal, about seven years of continuity are added back to the timeline, their ages are now up in the air
Batman Rebirth, Elaine goes missing
Batman Urban Legends 19, Elaine is found and cured (but what about- ssssshhhhh)
DC Power 2024, THEY ARE DEAD APPARENTLY
literally yeah! ugh its so anoying, i think these are things that would simply be best addressed with a Duke centric ongoing, yep yep yep i don't make the rules you just Gotta make a Duke solo run ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ [shrug kaomoji] its the only way!
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