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#there’s also the strong possibility that they’re aware of what happened but they weren’t the ones who killed lucy. idk who knows
twinstxrs · 1 month
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so much happened in this whole episode but i’m still on fig infiltrating ruben’s dream, making it look like the place where his friend was murdered, and then disguising herself as kipperlilly & repeatedly saying different variants of “somebody needs to take the fall for this, and it’s not going to be me. it’s going to be you.” while adaine as the elven oracle shows up next to her. can you imagine waking up from that, the idea of a horrible truth being pinned on you by your friend to save her own skin while the personification of fate and destiny stands there, almost as a promise that this is GOING to happen to you. we don’t even know if this kid is guilty. my god.
#fantasy high#dimension 20#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#fantasy high junior year#fig faeth#ruben hopclap#lucy frostblade#the rat grinders#adaine abernant#kipperlilly copperkettle#watching fig terrorize him like girl!!! we don’t even know if he’s guilty!!!!#this might just be for me but i do not think 5 teenagers willingly brutally killed their friend idk#like there just has to be some other element to it and i am very scared to find out what that was#what if they were put in a position where they felt there was/there was no other choice… like oh my god#my comedy brain is having fun but my ‘this is a teenager’ brain is in such deep distress all the time this season#the rat grinders i trust brennan to not make u cartoonishly evil so i am holding u as gently as i can in my confused shaky hands#also with the devil’s nectar i’ve been wondering why they all seem so well-adjusted & now i’m curious if they’ve been intentionally-#changing their memories in a way so that either the trauma is lesser or they think they aren’t guilty. idk#but it seems like from how gertie was talking she was making it more recently so the well adjustedness from early jy doesn’t quite add up#they could have another source maybe??? idk i’m just low stakes 4 a.m. spitballing here#there’s also the strong possibility that they’re aware of what happened but they weren’t the ones who killed lucy. idk who knows#the way you could probably devil’s nectar yourself into believing it wasn’t your fault someone died… CRAZY IMPLICATIONS!!! CRAZY IDEA!!!#anyways the bad kids & the rat grinders don’t ever have to like each other but i do wonder if at least some of those kids deserve a chance
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teresajoan · 4 months
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Astrology: How trauma affects communication via Mercury
Warning - Content may be triggering. Reach out to those who love you and medical professionals when you need.
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Aries Mercury - They grew up in a loud atmosphere, with lots of yelling. Possibly had one “leader” or “dictator” in their childhood home that they felt they had to obey. They grow up believing that they need to communicate quickly and loudly or else they risk never being heard. For people who felt they were not allowed to play loudly as children, play is healing later in life.
Taurus Mercury - Someone else always came before them. They had to learn to be patient and wait for their turn to speak. Their survival was determined by your ability to cooperate and choose the right alliances. They saw that trusting the wrong person could be detrimental to their wellbeing. Keeping their language neutral and friendly was most palatable for their parents. Music, singing, and healing the throat chakra is healing for these people.
Gemini Mercury - If they were smart enough, they would be praised. When things got too much, they learnt that they could throw themselves in books and mysterious. Their parents or the adults around them had different communication styles, so they had to learn to pick up different styles of communication in order to get their needs met. They also learnt that looking good and pleasing to the eye would help them relate better to others. At its worst, Gemini mercury learnt to use information in exchange for power or leverage, such as gossiping and rumour spreading. Humour is healing for these people.
Cancer Mercury - It’s hard for them to process and move on from what happened, so speaking about it can feel very real and present in their body. It’s often on the mind, and as a result, they limit their communication. When they do speak, they can overwhelm others with the amount that comes out. Learning to be ok with their own voice and narrative above what others say is healing. Also , drink water.
Leo Mercury - As a child, the communication around them was excessive and over the top. They learnt that to avoid punishments or drama, it is best to take control of the situation and shut it down quickly. Others couldn’t always be there to care for them, so they had to become hyper self-sufficient. You had to learn things by themselves, and as a result, they don’t do well in group settings such as class rooms, unless they’re in charge. They’re better at grasping attention from men than women or gender diverse people. They may have strived for their fathers attention from a very young age. Letting their fire out via creativity is healing.
Virgo Mercury - Every move they made was criticised and resulted in punishments. To survive, they needed to absorb this style of thinking for themselves and those they love. They think that if they’re hyper aware, they can prevent anything bad from ever happening again. There are a lot of thoughts and concerns directed at their body. Healing their mind and their body simultaneously is paramount. This is why the physical work required with animals can be so healing for them. Also - eat well.
Libra Pisces - Criticised for making mistakes or not appearing as others thought they should, they learnt to cover up their mistakes and insecurities by pretending everything is fine. They’ll do better than fine, they’ll speak a whole PR performance about how fine everything is... Allow them space to be imperfect. Finding the beauty in their mistakes is healing.
Scorpio Mercury - Defiant and secretive, the trauma is in the eyes. They can not take back all that they have seen, but they’ve also been taught to hide it. They may avoid eye contact in an attempt to avoid an argument. Their eye contact is intense when they want others to hear their pain. They didn’t have strong parental figures, so they learnt to be independent and in control of themselves. Growing up, people around them weren’t always truthful or honest. This has left them with a feeling of always seeking the truth. They were led to believe that their emotions were too much for others. However, these intense emotions never leave them, they just learn to hide or redirect intense thoughts in secretive ways. Self compassion is the key to healing.
Sagittarius Mercury - Naturally intelligent, they received more attention and praise at school than at home. They aim big and far away as a way to avoid addressing the present situation. As a result they don’t address the repressed hurt that pushed them to run away or towards that thing so far away. The more they heal from the past, the bigger the future truly becomes.
Capricorn Mercury - Their parents were practical and analytical. They were put to work at a young age, either around the house or in a family business. Their parents weren’t emotionally open or affectionate, as a result their tone of voice is blunt and controlled. Ruled by Saturn, the planet of fear, there was a sense of fear at a primary age when they were first learning to speak. Working in what they love is healing and where they find joy. Also - move them bones.
Aquarius Mercury - Their language can somethings sounds strange or unusual, such as a lisp, a stutter, mumbling, or jumbles words. They detached from their voice when they detached from their body as a way to survive. Now they swing between detachment via humour and avoidance, and to re-experiencing the emotions in a flash. The more they analyse everything outside of them the better, it avoids turning the analysing inwards on themselves. Escaping into nature is healing and helps to quieten the mind, in order for the bigger issues to be healed.
Pisces Mercury - The dissociation struggle is real. Difficulty listening and following along with others that are speaking. Due to fearing that they may say the wrong thing, they learnt that it’s better to give vague, indirect responses. They learnt that it was better to be able to back peddle than say something blunt that can’t be taken back. The freedom to experience self expression is healing. The more that comes out of them, the more internal space to absorb new information and communication clearly.
*Consider Pluto/Saturn in Air Houses or Pluto/Saturn aspecting Mercury and/or Air houses.
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── ⋆。゚☁︎ 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗵𝗲𝗿
paring: florence pugh x fem!reader
tag(s): fluff-ish, angst-ish, sfw, shot blurb, best friend's sister kinda trope, enemies to lovers (but not so enemies), more like I like you but I act like I don't
warning(s): grammatical error, unedited, swearing (sorry not sorry), mentions of cheating, not proofread
word count: 1,880
note: writing a part 2 for 'I know you' wasn't in my plans, but shout out to @wh4tmouth for giving me the courage to do it. This's one for you, I hope you like it. Also, I've never been cheated on (not that I'm that great, is just I've never dated), but I'm aware that this is not how usually people deal with it, but I feel like Betty is just that sweet. Again, the tittle is shitty, I'm sorry for that. I'm not a native english speaker, so please let me know about any sort of mistake. Hope you guys enjoy! <3
requests are open! <3
part 1 | part 2
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Betty could sense something was wrong. 
She didn't like being alone with Raffie, she could tell that your best friend didn't fully like her. She was wondering what could possibly be taking you so long? She knew about Florence. You told her everything about the blonde woman, well, not everything. She only knew that Florence didn’t seem to like you. But you never told her how you actually felt about her. 
“What’s taking them so long?” her anxiety was creeping, she knew something was going on. 
“I don’t know, they’re probably fighting about some stupid shit” still, Raffie's words didn’t reassure her. She felt the tension between Florence and you as soon as she stepped into the blonde’s house. She couldn’t tell exactly how you felt toward Raffie’s sister but she could sense that your feelings for her were strong, whatever kind of feelings they were. 
“Should we check on them?” Betty tried to hide her worry, it was probably nothing. As Raffie had said, you both were probably having a little argument. 
“Yeah, we should” without wasting another second the both of them went outside the restaurant to find out what you two were up to. Betty was right —something had happened.
You fucked up. You fucked up big time. You knew it the moment you heard your best friend calling out your name, you knew it the second you saw Betty’s glossy eyes. You weren’t sure if you felt guilty about getting caught or guilty about doing it to Betty. Yes, what you did was shitty, but you could have avoided the pain in Betty's eyes if she hadn’t come looking for you. Oh, sweet Betty. Sweet Betty who didn’t deserve anything of this. Sweet Betty who was so happy when you called her your girlfriend, even though the word just slipped out of your mouth. Sweet Betty who was looking at you, sadness written all over her face. 
“Betty, I–.”
“Don’t even try, Y/n. You’ve done enough” and with that she ran away from the three of you. 
Should you go after her? Will she let you explain yourself? But what was there to explain? That you felt sorry she had to witness you kissing another woman, after a few hours of calling her your girlfriend just so Florence would get a little bit jealous, but that you didn’t regret kissing her because you’d been dying to do that for the past two years? Yeah, that was the shittiest explanation ever. 
So, you let her go. Gave her space. You knew that she didn’t want to see you, but you still had to talk to her. You had to at least try to make things better. Betty deserved better.
[...]
You gave Betty three days to cool off. You figured she would still be mad but you owed her an apology, even though you knew that it wouldn’t make her feel better, it was the least you could do for her. You also had been avoiding Florence, you wanted nothing more to see her, feel her lips against yours one more time, and breathe her intoxicating scent. But you knew that first you had to make things right with Betty and Florence would only be a distraction. Not that she gave you another option, she was also avoiding you.
You asked Raffie to take you to Betty’s house. Raffie was also kinda mad at you. Well, she pretended she was, because what you did was a really shitty thing. But deep down she was glad that you and her sister had finally confessed to each other. She thought the tension would go away, but it actually became stronger. What a mess you two had made.
You knocked on Betty’s door. 
“Betty, it’s me. I know you don’t want to see me. Just please, let me apologize to you.”
“Just go away, Y/n.” Your eyes widened once she answered, you weren’t expecting anything from her, even if she was telling you to go away. She didn’t sound mad, she sounded hurt. All because of you. 
“I, I just, I’m so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, Betty. It was really shitty of me, I understand that you don’t want to talk to me. I just wanted you to know that you deserve better than me, hell, you deserve the entire world. You were so sweet to me. And I just took it for granted, and for that I’m really sorry.” You were about to walk away when you heard the door creaking open. 
And there she was, her eyes were glossy and puffy. You cursed yourself for doing that to her. 
“I could tell from the moment I saw you with her that there was something going on. I was just too stupid to not realize sooner.”
“No, Betty, you're not stupid. Anyone would be lucky to have you, I just–”
“I know. You weren’t mine to lose.” Her voice broke.
“I’m really sorry, Betty.”
“I know you are.”
“Is there anything I can do? I know it won’t make it up to you. I just–.”
“No, it’s okay. I’ll be okay.”
“If it is any consolation, she’s avoiding me.” She chuckled at that, a small smile forming on your lips.
“It does make me feel a bit better, but not actually,” she seemed to think of her next words. “Just go with her okay? Don’t fucked that up, Y/n.” You couldn't understand how kind she was being, she had a heart of gold. Even if you were the one who broke it.
“Can I just–?” You stepped forward, she knew exactly what you were trying to say. 
You hugged her tightly, as if trying to put her back together, but you knew a hug wasn’t going to do the job. You felt her relaxed under your touch as she took a deep breath. 
“I am really sorry.” You whispered in her ear. You guessed she was probably done with you apologizing, still you felt her nodding. 
Once you two broke apart, you could tell she was a bit better. Betty knew you really meant every word you’d said. Still hurt like a bitch, but she knew it was for the best. 
“Just go, Y/n.” A tight smile formed on her lips. 
And with that you walked away, feeling a little less guilty than three days ago. Still you had work to do. You had to talk to a certain someone. 
“Okay, that went better than what I had expected,” Raffie said once you got in her car. “Should we get milkshakes? I feel like this was a win.”
“Not yet, I need to talk to your sister.” A sigh escaped from Raffie’s mouth.
“Okay, fine, but once you get your driver's license, you are the one driving me everywhere.” You laughed at that, even when you were a mess she could still make you laugh. You looked at her and she tried to be serious for a whole second, but once she glanced at you, she couldn’t hide her own smile anymore. 
[...]
“Florence!” You were knocking on her door nonstop. Your knuckles were starting to hurt, but you weren’t going to give up that easily. You knew you could just use Raffie’s spare key, but you wanted her to open the door, not break into her house. “I know you are in there, your car is here, and I can see your shadow through the window.” You were about to keep on knocking when she finally opened the goddamn door.
“Oh my god! Just stop, okay?” Even though it was clear she was angry, your heart skipped a beat once you saw her. She was mad at you for some unknown reason, you were mad about her being mad, but she still looked gorgeous. Especially since she was only wearing a big t-shirt covering her whole body and what you assumed were the shortest shorts ever made in history. 
“Hi,” she only moved away so you could come in. “Why have you been avoiding me, huh?” you said once you were inside. 
“Do you want a drink? I need a drink.” She made her way towards the kitchen and poured herself straight vodka. 
“Florence.”
“What? You were avoiding me too, I’m not stupid, Y/n.”
“Okay, fine, I was. I had to clear things up with Betty,” Florence rolled her eyes at the mention of her. “What’s your excuse?”
“Do you really want to know?” She raised her eyebrows at you. 
“Yes. Yes, I do.” You didn’t have any idea why she was so mad at you. 
“You left me. You left me and all that was going through your mind was her.” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, a laugh escaped from your mouth. 
“Are you being serious right now?” You couldn't hold the grin forming on your face. 
“I’m dead serious, what are you laughing at?” You moved closer to her.
“I just can’t believe you, Florence Rose Pugh, are jealous.” You were now holding her by her waist. She tried to escape from your grasp but you wouldn’t let her go and after a few seconds she was done fighting. 
“I’m not jealous.” 
“Oh, yes you are. Do you wanna know how I know?” You didn’t let her answer. “Because you are frowning right now, which means you are mad, but your jaw is clenched which only confirms to me that you are, in fact, jealous. Your breathing is uneven, which tells me that I make you nervous. And you’re biting the inside of your left cheek, which you only do when you know the other person is right, but you don’t want to admit it out loud.”
She moved her eyes away from you, trying to hide the smile forming on her lips from you. 
“I know all of those things, because I know you.” 
Florence loved hearing you said that, it only meant that you paid attention to her as much as she paid attention to you. It meant that you were as crazy about her as she was about you. 
“Okay, this is when you kissed me to make me forget how mad I am–.”
Before she finished you connected your lips to hers. Her soft lips drove you mad, you could taste the vodka in her lips. But you didn’t mind at all, her whole presence was already intoxicating. You pressed her body against yours, a soft moan escaping from her lips. You wanted to feel every part of her. You were about to move your lips to her neck when you heard the door being opened.
“Ahh, why do I always have to find you two with your tongues in each other’s throat. Agh, disgusting, absolutely disgusting,” Your best friend faked a gag which made Florence laugh. “I’m guessing everything worked out just fine. But I still want my milkshake. Do you guys want to come or are you busy?” You rolled your eyes at her. 
“Let’s go. After driving me around the whole day the least I could do is pay for your damn milkshake.” You pecked Florence's lips promising her that you would be back after dealing with her little sister. After all, you two had to finish what Raffie had interrupted.
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Likes, reblogs and comments are appreciated! <3
-M
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blackhholes · 10 months
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Agency and Autonomy in Teen Wolf
Agency and Imagination in the Films of David Lynch by James D. Reid & Candace R. Craig /  Redefining Biological Horror: The Aesthetic Evolution of an Infected Body in HBO’s The Last of Us by Flavius Floare / Superfluous Bodies and Loneliness in Under the Skin by Donald Prentice / ‘We are not who we are’: Lovecraftian Conspiracy and Magical Humanism in The Cabin in the Woods by Christopher Lockett
Agency and autonomy are brought up repeatedly throughout the show. The catalyst of the narrative is when Scott is bitten by Peter against his will and turned into something he doesn’t even recognise anymore. This idea is repeated throughout the show when characters repeatedly have their agency stripped from them by other characters. In just the first season we see peter repeatedly forcing Scott to turn, inducing homicidal urges and triggering amnesia. Both of these actions are then later in the show repeated by Scott on other characters, though the reasoning is different in such a capacity we as the audience are made aware that the loss of autonomy does not stem from bad faith. When Scott forces Malia to turn and when he bites Liam, it is done because it is the only way for him to save their lives. This is an important distinction as when Peter did this he only ever did it as a way to make himself more powerful, he needed a pack and for Scott to be part of that pack so he’d be strong enough to take on the hunters and Kate. It is also important to note that Liam and Malia are allowed within the narrative framework of the show to be angry about this. Liam directly at Scott when he is initially turned and Malia at Stiles as a sort of proxy-Scott within Eichen House. Because they are allowed to show their grief and anger at losing part of themselves, they are then later able to reconcile this anger they’ve felt with the reasons Scott acted as he did and they both become important members of the pack. 
Body horror usually follows instances when a character is stripped of agency, their body physically turns on them and they’re no longer able to control the things it does. This further visualises the invasiveness of what happened to the character for the audience, we now have a visually gruesome component to the incidents taking place, making it much more horrific for us to witness. This is particularly highlighted in season five with the chimeras. Chimeras within the show are repeatedly stripped of their agency and autonomy in an effort for the dread doctors to perform experiments on them. They don’t have any recollection of this happening to them, without their knowledge their bodies are changed and begin acting without their conscious decisions. When the pack brings Tracy to Deaton it’s a particularly repulsive image that greets the viewer, her back cracks open, all her bone and muscles are on show for us and a tail grows out of nowhere. When a character consents to something like the bite we don’t actually see the changes happening to their bodies. Isaac, Boyd and Erica are never given the same initial scenes as Scott of bodily changes, they simple weren’t werewolves then they are. The closest we get to this is the scene in the train car during the full moon, but during that scene it is not their bodies turning on themselves, it’s them turning on Derek. The violence is not turned inwards it’s turned outwards.
Then how come a character like Jackson who wanted the bite has multiple body horror scenes throughout season two? Jackson wanted to become a werewolf, the bite was merely the means to an end. Assuming Derek never told him it’s clear he had no idea there was a possibility he might turn into something like the kanima. He is not only turning into something he never wanted he is also in a sense being possessed. He is no longer the only occupant in his body, the kanima is someone he initially has no knowledge of, a creature that is basically using his body to commit murders at the will of Matt. Matt too becomes one of the theoretical entities possessing Jackson’s body as the show makes it clear to the viewer in Raving that the kanima and Matt have a sort of telepathic connection. 
Stiles’ possession by the nogitsune in three b is interesting because it is a clear instance of a character within the show having both agency and autonomy stripped from them but there are hardly any distinct body horror scenes to visually showcase this. The effect of the nogitsune’s possession has a more hidden and somewhat downplayed effect on his body than that of other creatures seen in the show. Stiles begins to look sickly as the season progresses, the bags under his eyes grow more pronounced, he becomes paler. The only true body horror scene the audience sees is when the nogitsune splits the two and starts ripping bandages from its throat in a sort of gruesome circus act. After this Stiles’ body continues deteriorating until he is no longer able to stand on his own and he looks like he’s on the brink of death. 
Lastly it would be impossible to write a post about agency and autonomy in Teen Wolf without discussing Lydia. It could be argued that the instances where Lydia is stripped of autonomy are less grand in comparison to other events in the show but it happens repeatedly to her and to such a degree that leaving her out would be a major disservice. The two major ones in my opinion are the season one finale where Peter bites her, and then uses her to resurrect him; and when she is in Eichen House in season five and Valack performs trepanation on her to make her more powerful. Peter’s action was done for the same reason he bit Scott, it was a way for him to gain power, to keep the upper hand. The following resurrection plot then becomes an event which even further strips Lydia’s autonomy, she now acts only according to what Peter wants, poisoning her friends to keep them distracted on the full moon for her to perform the resurrection. When Valack performs trepanation on her in Eichen House it’s despite Lydia’s many vocal no’s. He does not care if Lydia dies because of it, he even believes that doing something that will likely kill her is worth it and the good thing to do if she can find out who the beast is. It’s also interesting to note in regards to the trepanation that within psychiatry trepanning was the precursor to the lobotomy. Something which wound be a very interesting thing to look at from the perspective of a character analysis of Lydia. 
[Also this is me barely scratching the surface of this topic,,, both in the webweave above but also in the essay i wrote. like i could write an entire thesis about this topic i'm not even kidding and i had to hold myself back from using even more quotes than this even tho this is def the longest post i've ever made.]
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ghoulfriendfangs · 2 years
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KINKTOBER ‘22 - Reputation’s Hazard
Day 13: Musk/Smells with Lucifer
I realized after writing this that it might fit more with Day 20, since it’s heavily about panty stealing, but I’m just going to worry about that when I get to Day 20.
{WC: ~600} {GN!Reader, as in, I tried not to specify if these were panties or boxers, your fashion possibilities here are endless, Lucifer being a bit pervy, (Patrick Star voice) panty raid.}
  When one has a reputation for being poised, refined, in control of one’s basic instincts, one has a duty to maintain it. You cannot let any imperfection slow, every slip of your grace is an avalanche, a disaster waiting to happen.
  Yet from the outside, nobody would suspect that such a massive weight laid on Lucifer’s shoulders. He was always polished, poised, perfect. It won the respect and fear of lesser demons.
  Only his closest friends and family, his younger brothers, his Lord, his human, knew that Lucifer was not made of stone. That he had his flaws, that he felt the pressure, that his pride was also his downfall.
  But he wouldn’t choose another way. His doubts, though they often crept up on him, were nothing more than annoyances to him.
  But he did hold one fear.
  Demons are, inherently, animalistic creatures. Their instincts beg to take control, their habits and urges as strong as chains around them. Though Lucifer was one of the strongest demons alive, able to resist his base instincts…
  Even a mountain can crack, and sometimes it’s the smallest of waves to finally break it’s resolve.
  Lucifer knew this, he knew as he held the small bit of cloth in his shaking, trembling hands. He had taken off his gloves, removed them so he could touch the garment, to touch where you had touched, with your… your…
  He shouldn’t be doing this.
  It’s beastly, it’s perverted, it’s embarrassing. Even alone in his bedroom, he feels watched. What would he do if his brothers walked in? If you walked in? If anyone caught him clutching your undergarments like it was the last morsel of food in all three realms, like the last sip of water even.
  He was the avatar of pride, how could he fall to his instincts? He was only passing your room, when he saw the door open, and he could smell that you weren’t there, but he could smell you, and he saw the little scrap of colorful fabric on your bed, reeking of you, though he looked human he had the keen smell of a predator and the hunger to match, but if he had even a scrap of pride in his well-practiced restraint he should have forced himself to walk past your room and, and-
  He was suddenly aware of the weight of wings on his back, the sweat on his brow, and his claws piercing the fabric. He forced his hands to relax before he shredded it into bits. He could still return it, he still had time to return it, but if he shredded it apart, how could he ever explain that to you? 
  I couldn’t, I shouldn’t. It would be better to keep them at that point, maybe you won’t notice they’re gone.
  …they wouldn’t notice the pair missing, wouldn’t they?
  N-no, I should return them. 
  …they smell so sweet.
  Lucifer, you should return th-
  His resolve cracked, unable to repress himself any longer. He pressed the fabric into his nose, inhaling deeply and without worry, no longer concentrating on how he’d be perceived, what the eldest demon lord should be doing, giving into his instincts. Perhaps you intended this. You were a smart human, so good to him, always tricking him into taking breaks from his work. You didn’t usually leave your private garments out… it must have been a surprise, for him, a gift.
  It took a while for him to contain himself again, gasping as if he’d been drowning. He composed himself. There was more work to be done.
  …but not before he carefully folded the undergarments into a neat little square, tucking them into his coat pocket, and resolving to thank you later. 
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thegirlfromhawkins · 2 years
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Eddie Supporting You
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(gif not mine)
❗️ Huge trigger warning for this headcanon ❗️
Includes mentions of SA, anxiety, PTSD ( please let me know if I missed something )
This hc is extrermely personal to me in a way. This was really a comfort write for me as I’m really struggling with my own PTSD and anxiety at the moment. Please be kind about this post. I’m hoping it will bring someone else comfort and possibly make them feel like they’re not alone. If you relate to this post I am so sorry that you’ve gone through something like this but I am so proud that you are still here proving how strong and badass you are. I just want to remind you of the trigger warnings. This is how I think of Eddie supporting you going through anxiety related to a SA. Thank you for reading and for 100 followers. You all mean the world to me.
• It took months for you to tell Eddie the whole story of what caused some of your anxiety and PTSD
• When the night came that you felt ready to let it all out he was ready to comfort you the best he could
• Tears were shed from you both after explaining the events caused by that son of a bitch
• Eddie made sure to tell you nothing was your fault and that he would be there to protect you through thick and thin
• He was always the king of consent but after gaining this knowledge he was even more careful making sure that you were comfortable
• Eddie loves physical touch but he loves making sure you’re okay more
• Way more
• He’s incredibly proud of how strong you are through everything and he’ll always be proud of you even on bad days when it seems impossible to make it through
• Eddie also becomes aware of every movement someone makes around you
• Especially around the few house parties you both attend
• And if any fucker dares to try and touch you or make a move Eddie is out for blood
• Steve can try to hold Eddie back from beating that asshole up but the anger Eddie gets is the most anger you’ll see out of him
• If there’s one thing that Eddie hates the most is seeing people he cares about getting hurt
• When those anxiety attacks hit Eddie is right by you as quick as he can be
• He helps you slow your breathing eventually and helps ground you back into reality where you’re safe with him
• Walks together to clear your head or distract you happen regularly no matter what kind of day
• But he knows you can’t always be distracted from the memories and he’ll hold you while you cry into his chest
• You don’t even have to say anything
• It gets to a certain point in your relationship where he just knows
• He knows why you’re hurting and he gets an aching in his heart knowing you go through this
• His heart breaks every time you flinch from someone’s movement, even his own
• When you come to him feeling bad for the way you react to certain things sometimes and your anxiety attacks immediately he’s reminding you it’s not your fault
• “Y/N, it’s okay. It’s not your fault and it will never be your fault.”
• “It’s gonna be okay sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere.”
• The time of year comes around when your assault had happened prior and Eddie can tell your not doing the best
• It started with the moments where you’d stare off into space completely disengaging with the world and he’d have to get your attention to bring you out of it
• He wouldn’t ask what you were thinking about every time knowing you were remembering too much trauma already
• Pulling away from him when he’d initiate some kind of physical affection tore him apart thinking about what made you react this way
• Even when you weren’t around he’d sit in his room and start thinking about it
• His heart would start racing and he’d cry clenching a pillow with his fists
• Eddie wishes he could’ve been there somehow and that it never happened to you but as you’ve come to accept the events you went through Eddie does as well
• The bad PTSD comes around and while Eddie is there when it happens he really struggles with what he should do
• Trying to calm you isn’t the easiest and when you don’t want to be touched he sits near you watching your every breath
• He feels completely helpless through it but once it’s over he’ll do whatever you want at all
• He’s always very romantic with you but he ups his little things he does when you’re down
• Flowers sit in a vase on your dresser that he surprised you with one morning
• Little self-care nights are more common as he just wants to make sure you’re not alone and you’re taking care of yourself to the best of your ability
• Throughout your relationship Eddie helps you heal
• It’s the most beautiful thing to you
• Seeing how he cares, how he respects you and is there for you when you need him
• This is the kind of man you’re supposed to be with and while there would be times that you felt unworthy of Eddie’s care and love you grew to know that you are worthy
• Eddie helped show you that
• Whenever you were doubtful he’d remind you of every small thing you did that makes him and others happy and remind you of all of the beautiful memories you have as well as the ones you are going to make
• He never gives up on you and he really does stay through thick and thin
• Eddie knows he can never change what haunts you but he sure as hell can be there for you and treat you like you deserved all along
152 notes · View notes
impish-ivy · 11 months
Text
Beel’s Secret
Spoilers for Nightbringer Lesson 9 onward!
A theory of Beel’s possible involvement in the death of Lilith
Belphie mentions that both of them feel guilty about Lilith’s death and that Beel blames himself.
Ok we already know this, why mention it?
Because if Belphie already knows about Beel’s guilt then how could it be something he’s never told him?
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Beel’s potential involvement in Lilith’s death
The only reason I could see Beel hiding anything from Belphie is if he’s afraid of how’d he react. Belphie mentions in his talk with you in Lesson 10 that all he can think about when he’s alone is who’s to blame for what happened. Obviously we know he blames himself and this manifested into a hatred of humans. But Beel may be afraid of this hatred being projected onto him, and with his own guilt it’d make sense that if he had any part in Lilith’s death, he’d keep it a secret. Sometimes we don’t tell our loved ones things because we’re afraid they may judge us, even if deep down we know they never would. The mind is a our greatest prison, after all.
Some potential answers
The least interesting answer is that he never told Belphie but because of their twin telepathy he knows how Beel feels. It feels super counterintuitive to have the others discuss things that weren’t explored in ObeyMe only to have Beel talk about something we’ve been aware of since season 1. So this answer is not only uninteresting it seems very unlikely.
A more interesting theory is that Beel had a direct impact on Lilith’s decision to save her human lover. Like…oh I don’t know, recommending the idea of using celestial fruit that could be used to save her lover. Food has always been Beel’s thing so it would make sense for him to offer up a healing food for Lilith. He also has a strong urge to protect his loved ones, and if someone you loved came up to you to devastated that their lover is dying, you’d wanna help them.
We know the fruit she used is most likely an apple as Belphie has an open hatred for them. And while it could be just someone not liking a food, he seems to take personal offense to the apples mere presence.
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Beel has been mentioned twice now that he was in the human realm the day before the Celestial War. What could he have been doing down there?
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Beel was down in the human realm running an errand for Michael. Which is very strange given Beel was a Cherub, an angel who guarded the Celestial Realm’s gates. So it’s very odd that he’s been sent down into the human realm. Even more so because he was gone for several days.
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Something to note is that we have no idea where Lilith was the day before the war. She’s never mentioned probably because they’re still grieving so she’s most likely hanging out in the human realm with her dying lover.
My Theory
So then what was Beel tasked with in the human realm?
My personal theory is that he’s been sent to find Lilith. Obviously he’s wouldn’t be looking for her under the pretense of punishing her. He would just know that Michael wishes to talk with her, which wouldn’t be too unusual.
Anyways that’s my theory!!
I hope they do something interesting with this set up as Beel deserves it
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all54321 · 1 year
Text
Mother Spore!?
Some time ago I wrote a scene of Pearl and Cub learning about Mother Spore. I scrapped the scene but I do like the idea of it still. So here’s (most of) HEP’s reaction to it. I might rewrite that first part later, unsure right now.
—————
Grian twirls the pen in his hand as they wait to connect. Only part of the HEP is present, due to how urgent Cub and Pearl’s message was. It’s a good amount of them still for being last minute. The pair had been the heads of the research into the mycelium, which makes Grian worry about what they want. Of course it could also be good news for them. Grian can feel how present Scar is in his mind.
The screen lights up as the video call connects. Pearl and Cub taking up most of the screen. Pearl is holding a clipboard in her hands, tapping her own pen in her hands.
“We got as many people as we could under short notice,” Mumbo starts. “What’s up?”
Cub grimaces, “nothing good.”
Grian stills his movements, “what happened?”
“We were talking to one of the infected,” Pearl gestures her clipboard, “when they said something interesting.”
Cub nods and continues, “towards the end of the talk, they mentioned a Mother Spore.”
Grian completely drops his pen in shock, Mumbo also seems too stunned to speak. Bdubs, of course, isn’t, “Mother Spore!?”
Pearl nods, “they refused to tell us anything about this Mother Spore, but they seem to be seen in as high of regard as Father Spore is.”
Mumbo swallows, “so there’s another leader?”
“It seems that way,” Cub agrees.
“Did this… infected say anything else besides about them existing?” Grian asks, trying to hide his nerves as best as he can. He’s not worried about his sporeling outing him, but the HEP being aware of him isn’t ideal.
“Unfortunately, no. They just kept repeating that their ‘Mother and Father’ would like to speak to us themselves. They refused to say anything else.”
Grian hums, he should have expected that. Grian might not want to talk to them, but Scar definitely does. It makes sense that their sporeling would start only responding with deflecting things to them since they would never disobey him and Scar. This does worry Grian about what they’ve been asking them though. How far did they push?
“There are a few ways we can take this Mother Spore’s silence,” Pearl continues. “The two most likely options are that they’re either plotting their next move or possible appearance, or that they’re just running whatever place all the infected are staying at while Father Spore ‘recruits.’”
Both are wrong~ Scar sing-songs, almost smugly.
Mhm, Grian replies, a little bit relieved. They’re not onto him quite yet.
Of course not, songbird.
“This is rather bad news,” Xisuma agrees.
“So we have absolutely no information?” Mumbo asks, worry obvious.
Cub nods, “I’ll try asking them more later, but it’s unlikely we’ll get a different response. You’ll have to tread more cautiously from now on.”
“Including keeping this on the down low,” Pearl adds. “If Mother Spore is as strong as Father Spore, then they can be a kind of trump card. Something up the resistance’s sleeves to use in an emergency. We can use us knowing already to our advantage in that case.”
That might have worked, Scar comments, If only they weren’t talking directly to you, my dear Mother Spore.
Grian tries to keep his blush down, yeah.
—————
Sorry for the sudden end, I wasn’t sure how to continue it past here.
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jeonstellate · 2 years
Text
love is: a danger
chae hyungwon played a key role in mx’s reaction to your last gamble, despite not knowing what exactly he signed up for.
✇༄ platonic!chae hyungwon x afab!reader (ft. fiancé!yoo kihyun x afab!reader)
✇༄ mafia!au, hidden pregnancy!au — angst(?)
✇༄ paragraph format — 1.8K words
masterlist | love is · · · masterlist | a secret
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[gif’s full credit belongs solely to its owner]
chapter three, extended one: the debate
Chae Hyungwon wondered how everything went to flames in a short amount of time.
As far as he was aware, Kihyun’s relationship was going strong — strong enough that his friend had been engaged to you for almost a year with seven years of dating under your belts. In fact, the only other couple in MX that could rival your relationship’s longevity was Minhyuk and his significant other — who met before you two did, but only became a couple shortly after you and Kihyun got together.
He honestly couldn’t fathom what possibly could’ve happened between the two of you that urged you to do whatever Minhyuk and Jooheon claimed you did.
"Are you seriously believing the words of an enemy?" Changkyun questioned the reliability of their claims. "You really think [first name] would cheat on Kihyun hyung with one of them? Of all people?"
"I found it hard to believe at first, too," Jooheon admitted, "but how else can we explain why [first name] was in their headquarters earlier? And why was [first name] that close to Hoshi?"
"Yeah!" Minhyuk backed him up immediately, being the only other member who went to the SVT base for a meeting. "Why does [first name] know where their bathroom is? Like they know their way around well?"
"It’s possible that they’re friends with one of the SVT members," Hoseok tried to reason, "so it’s also possible that [first name] visits him often."
"Why would they let a non-SVT affiliated person be inside their headquarters often? What if [first name] happened to be a plain civilian and they saw something they weren’t supposed to see? What if [first name] is a spy for a rival? Then they literally just gave them free access to canvas—" Minhyuk blabbered as he thought out loud. "Wait, sht, what if [first name] is a spy for a rival?"
"What are you trying to say?" Kihyun, who had been silent the whole time since Minhyuk and Jooheon started their emergency meeting, suddenly spoke up.
"Think about it. We don’t exactly know what [first name] does at their base. They could very well be passing on information . . . from MX to SVT."
"Except we — I — never tell [first name] details about our jobs," Kihyun rebutted, "nor did I bring home work for them to look through while I’m away, so what information could they possibly pass on?"
Hyungwon merely let his brothers argue amongst themselves. He wasn’t as interested with the theoretical as they were, especially since he was trained to act based on facts. Thus, while they were preoccupied with refuting each other, he busied himself with analyzing your tracker’s data.
To say that he was surprised with what he saw would be an understatement. His reaction wasn’t really because it showed that you were, indeed, spending a lot of time at the SVT base, but because it showed that you were there . . . when you weren’t.
He should know — he was there with you on two of the days it said you were at the SVT base, right in middle of the marked hours. He happened to visit you on random days and on random hours, too, without you or anyone else knowing beforehand, so he was positive you couldn’t have predicted his visits.
Combining what he knew and what was in the stored data meant a few things:
One, the data is physically manipulated. There were no signs of electronic manipulation, so—
"Kihyun hyung," Hyungwon called his friend’s attention over to him, "does [first name] know where their tracker is?"
"Yeah. They know their chip is in the locket. Why?" He only nodded in response and immediately went back to his thoughts — ignoring whatever follow up questions came up.
Two, you must’ve collaborated with SVT to somehow get your necklace — your tracker — in their base. Since doing so included you handing your necklace over, you must’ve trusted them a lot to leave it in their care repeatedly in a span of a month — which meant you were really connected to them somehow.
Three, your connection to them couldn’t be as a spy of any kind. As Kihyun pointed out, you knew too little about their business to pass on information. You had no chance to plant a listening device in their base, either, since MX always made sure to keep their personal and business matters as separate as possible.
Your most plausible connection to SVT was either friendly or familial — and, for the time being, Hyungwon was having a difficult time pinpointing which one.
Four, you must have a reason why you wanted MX to suspect you of betraying them — or Kihyun, at least. You obviously didn’t want to be seen as a spy since your tracks were opposite of one, so dying or being killed was definitely not your goal. Still, whatever your goal might be, it must be a big deal since you went all the trouble.
"Can you please trust [first name] more than you already do?" Changkyun defended you once more. "You guys are doubting them like we didn’t know them for almost a decade now. Dmn."
"We mustn’t become too blinded by our personal ties," Jooheon defended his stance. "I just don’t want to risk everything we worked so hard to build."
Hyungwon began tinkering with your tracker’s data as his brothers continued to argue still. He knew his companions were on the brink of getting themselves too worked up, so he strived to reach the truth faster.
You weren’t really romantically involved with Hoshi or anyone else in SVT, as the latter told Minhyuk and Jooheon — that much Hyungwon figured out. If you really were, then your tracker wouldn’t have recorded your visits to the SVT base more than twice. You knew about the tracking chip always with you, so, if you really were having an affair, you would’ve left your locket at home or anywhere else not overly suspicious to keep your secret. However, for this particular circumstance, you did the exact opposite — as if you wanted to be seen as suspicious; as if you purposely wanted to appear untrustworthy.
It didn’t help that the discrepancy in your tracking only started occurring one month ago, either, and you were already caught. Whatever way he thought about it, everything seemed planned — although it was planned in such a way that the planner definitely wanted to get caught in the act.
But why?
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chapter three, extended two: the lie
Hyungwon managed to crack the code that revealed the message behind your schedule discrepancies. All he needed now was to hear your reason for hiding the message like so.
He purposely didn’t tell his brothers about his discovery, though, partly because he wasn’t sure about your ending goal just yet.
"Whatever Hoshi told you is the truth," you replied to Hyunwoo’s interrogation about your frequent visits to the SVT base.
"You’ve been having an affair? That’s the truth?" Hoseok wanted to confirm, slightly in disbelief.
You merely nodded your head in affirmation and didn’t offer anything else.
Hyungwon noted how instant Kihyun’s eyes lost their light. He could hardly blame him for his reaction — after all, the latter had fought for your honor, to Minhyuk and Jooheon especially, just to be slapped awake in return. "What made you do it?"
Kihyun couldn’t find the energy to deny your confirmation, most likely because Hyungwon had also argued against you with data to back him up. He already drained his energy pushing against evidence, so he had nothing left to spare for your confirmation. All he really had left was acceptance.
When you didn’t say nor do anything, Hyungwon began wondering if he took the right path against you.
For whatever reason, unknown to him, you purposely weren’t telling them the truth. Hyungwon knew that because the coded message said something else entirely. He figured the latter truth must be the one then, because, in a greater scheme of things, it was the only one that made sense — and coincidentally tied everything together.
Truthfully, Hyungwon thought all of this mess was just an elaborate plan to surprise Kihyun. However, when your silence began to stretch out in an unhealthy length, he began to fear the worst.
Especially when you merely nodded when Kihyun announced, "Make sure we never find you."
There were a number of things still unclear to Hyungwon in this situation — and your decision to accept being shunned for a lie you stood by was definitely one of them.
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chapter three, extended three: the truth
Hyungwon narrowed your goal down for creating such mess to be the aftermath: you wanted to cut ties with MX. And with the knowledge of the shrouded truth, it was easy for him to piece everything together.
"You’re pregnant," he blurted the coded message after you once you were far enough from the rest of MX. "You wanted break things off because you’re pregnant, right?"
You stopped dead in your tracks, not expecting anyone to follow you on your way out — nor to figure out the secret you had been hiding.
"I just want to disappear," he heard you sigh when he walked closer. "Please don’t tell them. Especially Kihyun. Please."
He contemplated his next words, slightly afraid to set you off before he got the answers he seeks. "The child . . . is Kihyun’s, right?"
Your nod was so subtle, he almost missed it. Fortunately, it was enough. Not that he doubted what your answer would be, anyway. He might’ve only had an outsider’s perspective in your relationship with his brother, but he was around enough to know for certain how much the two of you really loved one another.
He wanted to asked you a lot of things, mainly why, but he held his tongue. He knew one interrogation would only lead to another — until he ultimately put all your efforts to waste. "I can’t keep secrets from them, [first name], especially not this big."
"Hyungwon—"
"—but I’ll keep this one just until I’m sure MX can no longer find you." Hyungwon interrupted whatever plead you wanted to say. "So you better make sure we never find you, got it?"
His allegiance to MX and his brothers hadn’t changed, even with his resolve to temporarily keep them in the dark. He was just acting based on facts, just like how he was trained to do, like always. It just so happened that your actions had convinced him to lend his cooperation — despite not knowing the full explanation for your goal.
"Thank you, Hyungwon." Your eyes swelled with tears, but he was unsure if it was due to your relief or your hormones. "It really means a lot to me. I don’t— I don’t know how I can ever repay you."
Hyungwon shook his head in rejection. "Make me the child’s godfather and live happily, [first name]. Those are all the thanks I want."
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bluiex · 1 year
Note
Finished another part for my Father Spore Spy AU! This time with the (kinda) reveal of Mother Spore. The end is a bit abrupt since I didn’t know how to continue it.
—————
Grian twirls the pen in his hand as they wait to connect. Only part of the HEP is present, due to how urgent Cub and Pearl’s message was. It’s a good amount of them still for being last minute. The pair had been the heads of the research into the mycelium, which makes Grian worry about what they want. Of course it could also be good news for them. Grian can feel how present Scar is in his mind.
The screen lights up as the video call connects. Pearl and Cub taking up most of the screen. Pearl is holding a clipboard in her hands, tapping her own pen in her hands.
“We got as many people as we could under short notice,” Mumbo starts. “What’s up?”
Cub grimaces, “nothing good.”
Grian stills his movements, “what happened?”
“We were talking to one of the infected,” Pearl gestures her clipboard, “when they said something interesting.”
Cub nods and continues, “towards the end of the talk, they mentioned a Mother Spore.”
Grian completely drops his pen in shock, Mumbo also seems too stunned to speak. Bdubs, of course, isn’t, “Mother Spore!?”
Pearl nods, “they refused to tell us anything about this Mother Spore, but they seem to be seen in as high of regard as Father Spore is.”
Mumbo swallows, “so there’s another leader?”
“It seems that way,” Cub agrees.
“Did this… infected say anything else besides about them existing?” Grian asks, trying to hide his nerves as best as he can. He’s not worried about his sporeling outing him, but the HEP being aware of him isn’t ideal.
“Unfortunately, no. They just kept repeating that their ‘Mother and Father’ would like to speak to us themselves. They refused to say anything else.”
Grian hums, he should have expected that. Grian might not want to talk to them as Mother Spore, but Scar definitely does. It makes sense that their sporeling would start only responding with deflecting things to them since they would never disobey him and Scar. This does worry Grian about what they’ve been asking them though. How far did they push?
“There are a few ways we can take this Mother Spore’s silence,” Pearl continues. “The two most likely options are that they’re either plotting their next move or possible appearance, or that they’re just running whatever place all the infected are staying at while Father Spore ‘recruits.’”
Both are wrong~ Scar sing-songs, almost smugly.
Mhm, Grian replies, a little bit relieved. They’re not onto him quite yet.
Of course not, songbird.
“This is rather bad news,” Xisuma agrees.
“So we have absolutely no information?” Mumbo asks, his worry obvious.
Cub nods, “I’ll try asking them more later, but it’s unlikely we’ll get a different response. You’ll have to tread more cautiously from now on.”
“Including keeping this on the down low,” Pearl adds. “If Mother Spore is as strong as Father Spore, then they can be a kind of trump card. Something up the resistance’s sleeves to use in an emergency. We can use us knowing already to our advantage in that case.”
That might have worked, Scar comments, If only they weren’t talking directly to you, my dear Mother Spore.
Grian tries to keep his blush down, yeah.
MMM imagine if Grian did get outed later on? Oh the betrayal!! They'd all be so so shocked and devistated I bet
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tingseo-blog · 2 years
Text
Why is it important to hire an advertising agency?
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Be it a website design agency Chennai or a social media marketing agency near you, you need to understand that no matter how expensive the services of these agencies are, they’re still worth it, taking in consideration the amount of business you get and the conversions that happen. Hiring a professional agency not only takes all the stress off your plate, but also enables you to explore a million possibilities, some of whose existence you weren’t even aware of. Instead of doubting the idea of investing in an advertising agency, you must think twice about the services you’re missing out on. You need to first understand the many services these agencies are offering in order to help your business grow online. Only once you’re aware of everything, can you choose the services you want to hire and the ones you wouldn’t mind skipping. 
Surviving in a competitive online market is surely not everyone’s cup of tea, but if you do it the right way and if you consider all the professional assistance that is available, you’ll know that making your business capable of surviving online is so important. So, what are you waiting for; hire the best advertising agency now!
0 notes
tartglias · 3 years
Text
almost falling (headcanons)
characters: scaramouche and xiao
warnings: VIOLENCE. i’m 98% sure i kept it slight but just in case don’t read if you’re sensitive please!!
request: “Anyway, so I'm requesting for Xiao and Scaramouche (fitting, they're sadists HAHA) their s/o (separate) is about to be thrown off the balcony after someone pushed them and hit the railings and they're about to hang on edge of their life. The boys just came back after whatever mission or errand they finished and saw the blasphemous attempt of a masochist (because how DARE they attempt such on their s/o?) Trying to kill their love. They sprinted or used their powers to get to them and stopped calamity from unraveling (sorta) into their world. Yes add some Overprotectiveness and probs them hunting to rip that masochist's head if it's not too much. Headcanons pls--“
[a/n: i loved this headcanon and i knew what you write from the start (which i never do lol), but the mental gymnastics i had to do to find the vocabulary omg... i can’t say i’m a big fan of how this turned out because of that]
•••••
Scaramouche
Scaramouche had to do some business in Mondstadt, and since you wanted to visit your friend Amber, why not accompany him? It took a while to convince him since he usually doesn’t like the idea of mixing his personal and work lives, but he has a soft spot for you, believe it or not. Not that he would ever admit it.
Before he left you to do your things, he made you promise to meet him at the Good Hunter after an hour, on the dot. He had a busy schedule, but he still wanted to treat you lunch so you excitedly agreed by kissing his cheek and nodding.
After the meeting, he hoped to see you sitting down at one of the tables waiting for him, but instead, he saw no one. “I thought I made myself clear about punctuality” he thought.
“Did you see my partner? They’re about this height tall, *hair color* and probably accompanied by some friend called Amber?” he asked the girl that took orders at the Good Hunter, with a very obvious fake smile. “Not really, I’m sorry” she said, giving an apologetic look, which quickly turned into a frown. “Although, I thought Outrider Amber was out on a mission today. She even ordered some food supplies this morning, are you sure your partner was with her?”
He took a moment to think. He knows you were meeting with Amber because you kept rambling about how you haven’t seen her in forever and you wanted to surprise her. He can’t recall a time when you lied to him, either. Something about having an honest and open relationship with him, so you couldn’t have lied. And you wouldn’t leave the city without informing him, either.
So he decided to scratch out the possibility of having to search you through all Mondstadt. Then, he nodded towards the girl and left without saying a word.
Walking through the city, he paid attention to details. Something was off, he was sure of it.
After a while, he heard a yell. At first he wasn’t going to do anything about it, it’s not his problem plus he still has to find you. But when he realized the owner of the voice yelled “Leave me alone!”, he knew it was you. He ran towards the origin of the sound and found out that you were on top of the wall that protected Mondstadt.
He climbed as fast as he could and when he got to the top, his blood boiled at the sight.
A big tall man was holding your arms tightly, and then pushed you to the edge. Your back hit the railing and you let out a pained yell. You saw the man approach you with intentions of pushing you again, but before you could lift your arms to protect yourself, you heard thunder.
“You heard them, leave them alone. Now” you heard Scaramouche say. The atmosphere became dark and tense very quick, making a shiver go down your spine.
The man let out a short laugh. “You can’t intimidate me so easily. They were mine first, I’m just reclaiming my property”
Oh boy
“I don’t think you heard me, stupid. Leave them alone, now. Or I’ll make sure you suffer the most painful and slow tortures ever imagined. I have a whole book I want to test out anyways, you know.” Scaramouched threatened, and when you saw the look on his face, you gasped. You never saw him like that
He had a creepy smile, no, it was the smile of a sadist, actually. Small thunders came out of his fingers, and by each second, they grew stronger. You noticed that the man started shaking, now reconsidering everything. Scaramouche tilted his head a bit and let out a laugh. “You don’t want to play anymore?”
The man quickly left, or more like ran for his life without sparing you a second glance. You dropped down to the floor and noticed the sky get clearer, and so did the sound of thunder. You were still teary-eyed and overwhelmed from the situation with the man, but you lifted up your head to see a calmer Scaramouche.
You didn’t notice before, but his purple eyes were sparkling with pink thunder, and once he kneeled down in front of you, they turned back to their original color.
He wrapped his arms around you, keeping you close and away from the edge. “Are you alright, my beloved?” he asked you, a hint of concern filling his face. “Now I am. Scaramouche... I never saw you like that” you said, holding his hands that previously let out sparks and thunder.
You heard him sigh. “I lost control. Your scream and then seeing you almost falling... it made me snap. I can’t lose you.”
You kissed him, hoping that this way he can understand that you’re not scared of him and also reassuring him you’re not going anywhere either.
“You scared him for life” you said once you pulled away, laughing slightly. “I’ll scare him for eternity because he won’t be alive after I catch him”
Xiao
He told you numerous times to call his name if you ever found yourself in trouble. Even if it’s just a whisper, a thought even, you just have to say “Xiao” and he would drop whatever he was doing to come to rescue you.
In full honestly, you thought you could handle things on your own. You didn’t need him to come to rescue you, unless a very real danger was knocking on your door. Which unfortunately, leads to this situation.
Moments earlier, you were at the top floor of the inn, waiting for Xiao to come back. Everything was normal, until you noticed two suspicious looking men approach you. At first, you didn’t think much of it since adventurers often ask you for certain locations or roads. But this thought quickly changed when one of them came from behind, a little too close for your liking, before covering your mouth with his hand.
“A little birdie told us you’re close to an adeptus” one of the two men said, standing in front of you with a smug smile. “We need a favor”
It happened very quick, you were fighting for your life as you screamed and tried to kick the man holding you down. You almost succeeded, if it wasn’t for the other man in front of you. He held your arms tightly and pushed you towards the edge, you lost your balance and tripped over it, but quickly managed to grab onto the railing.
“Go on. Call the adeptus for help, we’ll love to have a small chat with-“ the man started saying, but got cut off by a strong wind that made him trip over. It was Xiao.
His eyes immediately landed on you, you were trying so hard to lift yourself up but you were slowly slipping. You weren’t going to last much longer and rage filled both his body and mind almost instantly.
How dare they lay a finger on you to get to him? “Worthless. Pathetic. Stupid.” he muttered each time he hit the men, until knocking them out. His eyes went back to you, and he immediately sprinted towards the railing.
But he was late
Your hands that desperately tried to grip the railing and lift yourself up were red and they hurt, and just when he was about to extend his hand for you to take, you slipped and fell.
You thought it was over, truly. You yelled out Xiao’s name as you tried to get hold of anything that could possibly prevent you from hitting the ground, but you were far away and the floor was coming closer and closer. You closed your eyes, ready to face your end.
But that end didn’t come, and you found yourself wrapped in Xiao’s arms while strong winds surrounded you, keeping you from hitting the ground abruptly. Once his feet touched the floor, you heard a faint sigh of relief from him.
Now on the ground, you dropped to the floor while you sobbed in Xiao’s arms, suddenly very aware of how close you came to meeting death. He kept you close to his body, as if you’re gonna slip away from him again. He faced many monsters and wrath in his life, but he never felt as scared as he did at the moment.
“I’m sorry” Xiao muttered out once your crying calmed down. Drying your tears with the sleeve of your shirt, you looked at him questioningly. “You almost died because they were after me”
This made you cry more
He was kind of confused? Why were you crying again?
“Xiao you don’t have to apologize because its not your fault at all and you also saved me! I should apologize for not being careful and tripping!” you sobbed again. “But it’s not your fault either...” he whispered as he patted your head, not sure how to calm you down.
Xiao doesn’t kill humans, but nothing is going to stop him from making hilichurls, mages, and other monsters appear in the way of these two men. He’s going to make them pay (indirectly)
1K notes · View notes
crazygalore · 3 years
Text
GABRIEL MAY (MALIGNANT) NSFW ALPHABET
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TW: mentions of dysmorphia, NSFW
A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
Surprisingly, Gabriel actually NEEDS it, after each lovemaking session - no matter how gentle or how rough he was with you. He’ll draw the both of you a hot bath, and help you wash yourself. If you return the favour, this boy will positively melt, and let out tiny noises that sound suspiciously similar to little purrs. Afterwards, once he has patted your dry with a fluffy towel and dressed you in your favourite pyjamas, Gabriel will carry you to bed, and place you under the covers. Then, he will bring your favourite snacks and beverage, to enjoy while you huddle together to watch a movie before falling asleep.
B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Gabriel could never pick just one thing he loves about you - because he practically worships you body and soul. You are infinitely beautiful in his eyes, and the fact that you love and accept him for who he is feels like a miracle to him.
Since he doesn’t actually have a body of his own, he expresses his identity though clothes that he wears, which are different than the ones owned by Madison. Although they’re not body parts per say, he sees his leather coat and makeshift gold dagger as extensions of himself, and he enjoys donning them whenever he takes over his twin’s body. He will, sometimes, remain fully clothed during sex.
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)
His pleasure is your pleasure, and he will make you cum as much as possible, if only to enjoy your desperate moans and whimpers. 
Being transmasc and trapped his Madison’s body, he suffers from severe dysmorphia and doesn’t really enjoy being touched intimately. And, as stated HERE, he did communicate with his sister when the two of you decided to become intimate, because he felt like this specific situation called for his sister’s consent. She doesn’t have access to his memories regarding his sex life, though - which is for the best.
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
It’s not a secret that he loves watching you pleasure yourself. The first time he witnessed it, you weren’t aware he was there, lost as you were in the act, so he quietly enjoyed the show from the door, a smug smirk playing at the corners of his mangled mouth.
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
You are Gabriel’s first and only love, and the only person who ever saw him as a human being, worth of respect and adoration. So he doesn’t have that much experience, but he did his research and tried to learn as much as possible about the human body’s erogenous spots. That makes up for his lack of actual physical experience, at least most of the times. But since your guys’ relationship is based on trust, respect and communication, Gabriel is never ashamed to ask what works for you, and what doesn’t.
F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)
Missionary, since he usually uses his mouth, fingers or a strap-on to pleasure you - and he wants to be able to look at your face, kiss your lips and hold you in his arms during sex. Gabriel is a very tactile person, and extremely touch-starved, so he actually NEEDS to be held, caressed and comforted. It’s the main reason why he enjoys making love to you so much, because the physical intimacy is something he’d never experienced before.
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
I wouldn’t say he’s particularly goofy, but he isn’t very stoic either. If anything awkward ensures during sex, he will try to make you laugh about it, so that you can relax and move on.
H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
He doesn’t actually have a private area of his own, and its pretty much Madison’s business as to how she grooms her nether region. He doesn’t actually care about those parts, since he never uses them.
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
Very intimate, very romantic and very needy. As stated above, he craves physical contact, and he melts whenever you treat him with gentleness and affection. Hold him, kiss him, caress his scarred cheeks, and tell him how good he makes you feel, and Gabriel will be putty in your hands.
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
He doesn’t actually partake in this act, as he doesn’t enjoy looking at, or touching the private parts of the body he shares with his sister. But sometimes, he fantasizes about what he would do to you, if he had a body of his own.
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
Gabriel is surprisingly vanilla, but he can be pretty dominant in the bedroom. He will pin your wrists above your head, as he fucks you into the mattress, or guide you into touching yourself, his voice a mere growl coming from your phone’s speaker. Knife kink, maybe, but only when it comes to cutting off your clothes. He doesn’t wanna hurt you, so unless you insistently ask him to, Gabriel won’t hold his makeshift dagger to your throat, or drag its blade across your skin. After all, he has other ways to let out his violent frustrations, so he feels no need to bring that to the bedroom. He was hurt by people who abhorred him, and he returned the favour years later. Love and violence do not cross paths in Gabriel’s mind.
Also clothed sex, because he enjoys wearing his leather coat and gloves, as he teases your naked body mercilessly.
L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)
Anywhere inside the house, but the bedroom is his favourite, because it’s more private and safe. Plus, he enjoys taking his time, so the bed is the most comfortable option when it comes to lengthy lovemaking sessions.
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
Whenever you treat Gabriel with kindness and love, he will feel the need to bring you pleasure, and show you just how much he covets you. For him, sex is a means of expressing his affection for you - it’s an act of adoration and gratitude.
N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
He will NOT hurt you, ever, no matter how much you insist. You are the only person who has ever treated him right, and he cannot bear the thought of harming you in any way.
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
Enjoys giving, and is very enthusiastic about it. This boy will eat you out for hours, and has become fucking expert at it. He knows just how to angle his face, and use his teeth and tongue to cause you maximum pleasure. Your taste is heaven to him, and your needy moans and whimpers are music to his ears. He will edge you, he will overstimulate you, he will play your body like a violin, using his mouth and fingers alone.
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
Depends on the mood. Slow and sensual is his go to, but he can be rough if you ask him to. But regardless of the pace, Gabriel is ALWAYS very passionate, and completely dedicated to your pleasure. Also, this boy is inhumanly strong, so he may end up becoming rough without even realizing it - but in case it becomes too much, all you have to do is tell him, and Gabriel will apologise and treat you more gently.
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
Not opposed to them, but he prefers taking his time.
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
He’s willing to try anything, so long as it doesn’t cause you any actual harm. Hickeys and faint finger-shaped bruises happen a lot, since he doesn’t always calibrate his strength properly all the time.
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
Oh, he could go on forever. Remember he experiences pleasure exclusively through you, so he never gets tired of it.
T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
Oh, yes, 100% a fan of toys, all of them meant to drive you utterly insane with pleasure.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
The most unfair and maddeningly patient tease to ever walk this Earth. He will edge you until you’re crying and begging for release - and only then will he CONSIDER to maybe let you cum.
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
Low growls and muffled moans are the best he can do - although he may use your phone’s speaker to talk dirty to you.
W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
Gabriel really enjoys sucking on and playing with your nipples. And, yes, he has actually made you cum by solely teasing and fondling your chest.
X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
As I said, he uses a strap-on, which is just the right length and thickness to bring you maximum pleasure. In fact, the more I think about it, the more inclined I am to believe he consulted with you before buying it.
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
I would say his sex drive is medium to low, so unless you initiate it - case in which he will be delighted to take you to the bedroom - he will rarely bring it up. But he does have his moments, when he simply craves your passionate embrace.
Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
It depends. Sometimes he falls asleep as soon as aftercare has been performed, and sometimes he stays awake a little while longer, just to watch you sleep peacefully by his side.
251 notes · View notes
desired-victim · 3 years
Note
Helloo! I wanted to request hisoka with corruption kink. Just write however you want to lolol i dont mind any freaky🏃
Ha *wipes sweat off forehead* I hope this hard work pays off. I put every ounce of effort in writing this 😮‍💨. I didn’t do any bullet points on this one but it does have about four thousand words! Please ignore the possible grammar mistakes, I do have trouble writing dialogue. I worked on yours all night long and I’m exhausted. My fingers sure are. I kept your request deeply in mind. You can see poor, little (Y/N)’s innocence melt right off her like ice cream ;). Anyway, here’s your request, my love 💕
I wanted to honor the divine feminine so you will see my appreciation for the female body below 👇
💕TW: The content below contains: degradation, domination kink, submission kink, dub con, threat of forced anal intercourse, pure smut, corruption kink, possible bad grammar, loss of virginity, dirty talk, cunnilingus, vaginal sex, corruption of innocence, Oh, and Hisoka is a TW itself.
Enjoy…
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He’s tall.
God, he is so tall. Such long, strong legs - slender yet thick with muscle. Despite being erotically pleasant, his legs weren’t the best part of him. The best part of him was what your eyes followed. From his shins, to his knees, to his thighs, to his hips, to that beautifully sculpted torso of his, to his neck, and then you reached his eyes.
Those eyes. Those sharp, golden eyes of his.
His eyes unsettled most people. It was as though they could pierce your very soul, and see how weak and worthless you truly are. He's a predator - always keen, always aware, and always watching for a reason for you to be his next target.
Hisoka… how did you get those eyes?
She wondered how she caught his attention. He was the type of man to overlook girls like her. A blushing, doe eyed dolt, who could barely speak to strangers without stuttering a storm.
Why? Why would someone like Hisoka find her worthy of even being near him? Of being in his bed, of being by his side, of being between his legs. He is so very special, and I'm…
“My Little Slice, you look delightful when your down there~”
His voice shook her out of her thoughts. She looked at his teasing gaze and meekly lowered her sight to his lips. There, she saw them curl up into a grin. She tensed up and covered her naked chest with her arms. Just then, she realized how unbelievably exposed she was to his scrutiny.
“Oh, nervous now~,” he laughed out, sitting up from the headboard and closer to her face, “isn’t that sweet…”
More red than ever, she turned her face from Hisoka and leaned back. Instead of letting her move away, his hand wrapped around her wrist and thrusted her towards him. She yelped out as her cheek pressed against his hard chest, her face embarrassingly hotter than his cool skin. His chest rumbled as he let out a chuckle.
She put her hands against his chest and attempted to pull away, but his arm wrapped itself around her. She struggled to shove herself away and her efforts were all for nothing; he hadn’t moved an inch.
Perhaps it was foolish to pursue a 200th floor fighter. Where was her older brother to protect her now? He had lectured her beforehand about the dangerous people here and she laughed him off and teased him about being some sort of guard dog. Now, she needed him more than ever. She had never been in a situation like this before.
“No boys allowed, Y/N!” he usually shouted out, a vein practically popping out of his forehead. It almost seemed like he loved saying that as it was repeated over and over throughout her life.
All she wanted to do was explore a place she never ventured to. To seek the thrill that felt so curious and good, yet hidden like the inside of a flower that hasn't bloomed yet. A buzzing heartbeat that formed when she laid alone at night and gently ran her fingers up her skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps and shivers.
Please help me, B/N…
Her struggles came to an end as she huffed, breathlessly. Hisoka’s hand trailed down her shoulders to her waist and to her hips. His hand was met with the pleasant plumpness of her bottom. She squeaked out in shock as his hand roughly squeezed her ass and kneaded it like dough. A loud crack reverated across the room as he slapped it, leaving a red blur behind. She gasped and her face converted into an embarrassed cringe. Frustrated tears pricked in her eyes as her fingernails dug deeply into his skin.
Once again, she attempted to wiggle away. Instead of his arm wrapping around her shoulders once again, she was swept over and under him. He was hovering over her and there was no way to escape. Her previous attempts at fighting back were a failure, and she no longer wanted to fight, only to flee.
Her eyes shot out towards Hisoka’s face only to find him smiling down at her. His warm breath fanning her face and his hips between her thighs.
The glint in his eyes shook her to the core. His facial expression was teasing and playful, but his eyes told a completely different story. She’s seen that look on his face before. The same expression on his face as he killed his opponents. He looked like an apex predator who was about to break the neck of his prey with his jaws.
“You’ve never been fucked before, haven’t you?” he asked, his finger trailing down her cheek, rubbing off a tear she hadn’t noticed fell.
Her face scrunched up at his vulgar language.
“No, I’ve never been f-“ she paused, hesitating before quickly spitting out, “no, ive never been f… fucked before.” Another tear came out of her eye. She never cursed - She wasn’t allowed to.
Hisoka giggled, his smile twisting even further. He looked down at her precious expression and felt his arousal rise.
“You're utterly adorable, you know that? I almost feel a little bad about this. Almost. But you wanted to play, and don’t be a spoiled brat when the other player is better at the game than you.” He mocked, his sardonic gaze on her. It made her want to shrink into the mattress and never come out.
“Now, now,” he said, sitting up, “I’ll make it as comfortable as I can.”
He spread her thighs and examined her high waisted shorts. He grabbed the zipper at the top and unzipped it. Down and down it went, until her underwear was revealed to him.
“After all, the first cut into the cake has to be perfect.”
Her shorts were suddenly off her and on the ground. She was only in her underwear now, more exposed than ever. Most naked she’d been since that time she went to the beach. She’d gotten sunburnt that day. At least then she had a top, now her whole body was on display to him.
Hisoka hummed as he tugged his own bottoms off, revealing the thick length of his cock. His cock looked magnificent combined with the rest of his body. That sexy v-cut of his looked like two arrows directing me to look at his big dick, so large it almost dangled under its own weight. It held its own though, refusing to droop over.
How is that thing going to fit inside of me? she thought.
He spread her legs wide open and examined the thin material of her underwear as the form of her vulva showed through. The flimsy material was practically invisible.
Hisoka’s big hands grabbed her behind her knees, pushing her legs up while also spreading them even further. The bed squeaked out as Hisoka crawled on his knees over to her, placing himself over her.
Hisoka’s claws clenched themselves around her legs, indenting the soft flesh, “You have such a soft, innocent face,” he said, his face hovering over menacingly. “But I know a hungry little whore lies beneath the surface… let me feed that little whore~❤️.”
Hisoka let go of one of her legs and let it fall against the bed. Her loose leg was between his two thighs and her other leg was still being held. The top half of her body was still on the bed. Hisoka’s strength was maintained as he carried half of her body weight into the air.
He’s so strong… of course he is, that’s to be expected of a top floor fighter.
The bed let out a groan as Hisoka pushed himself onto her covered cunt, rubbing his dick between her labia majora. His cock stroked the sensitive heat over and over again, he could feel her hotness tightening and then softening as her pussy throbbed to the beat of her heartbeat. The head of his cock stroked her hard clit over and over again, the little bump riddled with sensitive nerves. Her underwear was sopping as her pussy leaked out sweet nectar. The tip of Hisoka’s cock was also leaking with precum, mixing in with her own sweetness and creating an erotic cocktail.
“Yes, don’t stop,” she begged. “Please don’t stop - I want to cum so bad. Please let me cum, please!”
Hisoka let out a breathy laugh. “If you want to cum so bad, you need to beg for it. Only good girls get to cum. Are you a good girl~?”
“Yes! I’m a good girl! I’m your good girl, Hisoka!”
“Aw, you're so cute when you beg. But I don’t think you're a good girl. No, I think you're a naughty, little slut. Little sluts only get to cum when they're being fucked.”
The sensitive head of Hisoka’s cock pulsated with pleasure as he rubbed it against the soaked underwear. If he kept doing it, he was going to cum way too fast. He couldn’t let that happen. Not before he stretched her virgin pussy with his cock. He’d be damned if he let himself orgasm before biting into her innocence.
His nails dug into her thigh as he pushed himself further into her, making sure there wasn’t an inch of space between their heats. He was going to blow and If he didn’t stop, he wasn’t gonna see that shocked expression of hers when came in her for the first time. The longer he waited, the better.
(Y/N)’s pussy clenched and her breathing sped up. She was going to cum.
I’m going to cum, I’m going to cum, I’m going to cum, I’m going to-
Hisoka pulled back.
“No!” She yelled, kicking her leg in frustration. She let out another yell as her leg didn’t even move an inch in Hisoka’s grip. His grip was too strong. There was no way she could force her way to freedom.
“I was so close!” she shouted, a tear threatening to fall from her eyes. “Why did you stop! I felt so good!”
Hisoka threw his head back and let out a loud, sadistic laugh.
“Haha, you're so cute when you're feisty! I’m glad I’m the first who gets to fuck you.”
He let go of her leg after getting over his giggling attack. She found herself embarrassed as she blew out strings of her own hair out of her own mouth.
As she was pulling strings of hair out of her mouth, she was suddenly pulled back onto the bed by Hisoka’s hands around her hips. She gulped as she saw Hisoka’s face hovering over her crotch.
The part of her underwear that directly covered over her cunt was a darker shade than the rest of her underwear from when they grounded against each other like animals in heat.
She watched nervously as he adjusted his position. She let out a whole body shiver as both of his thumbs opened her lips like a little book.
Hisoka licked the side of her cunt - not directly stimulating her but gently teasing her. While not directly pleasuring her, the motion relaxed her from her last intense session. A little between-the-main-courses snack, if you will.
She sat up on her elbows and watched as Hisoka lapped at both sides of her lips. She felt a swell of affection begin to grow in her chest as she watched Hisoka’s cheek press itself onto the inside of her thigh. She realized how bold she’s gotten since they began to play with each other. In such a short while, Hisoka had corrupted her - denting that once-perfect surface with his perverted nature. To think ten minutes ago she was so shy she could barely even curse. In such a short time, she’d cursed more than she had in a year. A pang of guilt filled her as she thought about how her older brother would react. But he wasn’t here, and he never had to know.
In her own thoughts, she didn’t notice Hisoka’s face twist into a mischievous smile. Her eyes widened in terror as she felt his tongue on her covered asshole.
“Hisoka!” She shouted out.
How can someone be so vulgar?
“Oh, I’m sorry, my Little Slice~. I just love it when your sweet, angelic face turns into one of horror. It turn me on so badly~❤️”
Hisoka only smiled and slid his tongue upwards towards her pussy. He pushed the tip of his tongue against the entrance of her vagina and wiggled it there. If it wasn’t for her underwear, his tongue would have been inside her pussy.
The nerves around her hole were ablaze and her legs were shaking - with fear, excitement or pleasure? Perhaps all three, she did not know. All she wanted was to be pounded by him; she didn’t care how big and thick he was (from what she saw earlier, his cock had to be as thick as her forearm). Though she was unexperienced and naive to the acts of sex, this feeling was primal and indispensable. She needed it, she needed it like a runner needs water.
His tongue dragged itself from her entrance to her clit.
“Yes, yes,” she moaned out and spread her legs wider without an ounce of shame.
It was overwhelming in the best way possible. It was the most electrifying thing she’d ever experienced and she never wanted it to end. She wanted to be there forever - in that limbo of titillation and erotic reality that was unlike anything she could recreate with her imagination.
Hisoka rapidly moved his tongue against her clit. She squealed out loud and attempted to move her hips but his hands grabbed her hips and pushed them to the bed and continued to flick her covered clit with his tongue.
She lifted herself up to her elbows and looked down at him. A hint of fear aroused in her as she made direct eye contact with him. She was so caught up in her own pleasure she didn’t realize how deeply she was looking into his eyes.
As she continued to lock her eyes with his, her pussy began to relax, getting ready to tighten and cum on his tongue. Her heavy breathing paused and she caught that expression in her eyes.
Then her panties were ripped in half and her bare cunt was revealed to him. In a split second, his entire tongue was inside of her.
She screamed as her virgin cunny squeezed itself around his long, wicked tongue. Hisoka laughed out and wiggled his tongue - messaging and caressing her inner walls as she cummed.
The wetness of her aroused cunt seeped out and dripped down to her asshole, to which Hisoka slurped up and continued his assault on her cunny again. He did this over and over again until I couldn’t handle it anymore. My hands tried to push him away but he didn’t even budge. It wasn’t until my legs began to kick out in panic did he pull away.
“Ah, ah,” she panted, body completely limp. Hisoka observed her body. Her soft stomach was gleaming with sweat and the inside of her thighs were also gleaming.
“You might be the sweetest candy I’ve had since I first tried Bungee Gum all those years ago. I knew the moment I popped it into my mouth it would never leave me, marking me with its sweet syrupy taste just like a Scarlet Letter. Would it be a bold thing to say that you're just like Bungee Gum? You get so pink when you're played with. The pink on your cheeks is almost the same shade as my favorite snack.”
Hisoka let out a sudden dramatic sigh that startled (Y/N) for a second. “Unfortunately, the company who used to make Bungee Gum went bankrupt so now I have to search far and wide just to get a taste. Luckily for me, something similar is always nearby for me to stretch and pull at.”
He paused, looking directly into (Y/N)’s eyes with his own yellow ones. “You are, my sweet little slice~”
Hisoka grabbed her ankles and slapped her legs together. The loud smack of her thighs' sudden connection reverated across the room.
Hisoka wrapped his big hand over both of her ankles and grabbed his cock, stroking back the foreskin to reveal the pink, sensitive tip and a pearl of precum forming. He placed the tip of his cock on her clit, rubbing it in little circles before sliding it down her slit until it reached her entrance at the very bottom. He felt tempted to slip it into her ass before deciding it wasn’t worth the screeching. Even though he could easily cover her mouth and sodomize her tight little ass, he couldn’t just jump into completely breaking her; It would be a better idea to slowly lower her into the fire. A slow burn would be ten times more satisfying.
Putting both of my legs onto one side of his shoulders, he used his weight to push his entire cock into her pussy until his ballsack was resting against her ass.
She hissed through her teeth and threw her head back. She was filled with his cock. So full. So, so full.
She was bursting with new sensations. A new type of pain, a new type of pleasure. It was unlike anything she’d ever felt yet so primal and familiar. It was an instinct she never realized she had.
Bending over her with her legs still on her shoulder, Hisoka connected their lips for the first time that night. She could taste her own saltiness on his lips. It wasn’t the type of kiss she’d seen on romance shows (the ones her brother decided were appropriate enough to watch). No, this kiss was the complete opposite of those. This kiss was rough, unlike anything else.
She felt a burst of bravery as she slipped her tongue out and shyly lapped at his bottom lip. Hisoka let out a sardonic chuckle.
“Feeling brave now, are we?”
(Y/N) yelped as Hisoka slid his entire tongue inside her mouth, licking every corner of her mouth. Nothing was left untouched.
After completely violating her mouth with his tongue, Hisoka pulled away, smiling down at her.
“Are you ready?” He whispered. (Y/N) let out a shuddering breath and nodded. She braced herself by meekly grabbing onto the shoulder that didn’t have her legs with one hand, the other gripping onto the sheets.
Hisoka pulled back until only the tip of his cock remained in her, then he slammed into her with great strength. Her breath completely left her body with the slam of his hips. His hips smashing against her buttocks made a filthy sound that made her want to cum. The plop, plop sound that her pussy was also doing things to her.
Hisoka grunted with every hard thrust. She fit him just like a glove. It was almost like she was made for him. While the male penis did not have as many nerve endings as female genitals, a man can augment his sensations and cause it to heighten by being caressed just right. By holding her against himself, fucking her in a salacious dance, the more sensation builds up in his penis just like when a woman’s clitoris is tapped just so…
The friction of his cock pulling on her inner walls before being pushed inside once again left (Y/N) in a concoction of emotions. First, complete and utter pleasure. As he slammed his cock into her, dopamine bursted in her mind like an explosion of drugs. Second, regret. If her brother ever found out, how would he react to his own little sister getting fucked by the murderous Magician, Hisoka? She knew he’d feel like all his work to keep her safe were a waste of time and energy. Like all those years of pampering and protecting went right down the drain. She couldn’t let him find out. And thirdly, a rebellious energy. She was tired of being locked down by her own innocence. She wanted to explore the world. There had to be more to this world than just what she knew. There had to be.
From head to toe, she felt a symphony of pleasure as she came. Her toes clenched until they cramped. But she didn’t care, the pleasure outweighed the pain. Her fingers dug into his shoulder. She was sure there would be a five fingered mark there the next day. It would be a reminder of his clawed reach and her deflowering.
She screeched out as Hisoka went faster, overwhelming her. She hadn’t even gotten over her orgasm before he began to thrust into her twice as hard. She could feel his cock rub itself against the entrance of her womb.
It was primal to push into her beautiful, soft female body and pull back, only to push himself back. He could feel himself building up the height of his pleasure. The more he pumped, the higher the tower built, just ready to topple over and leave a big mess.
He looked at her closer than ever. Watching as her breast bounced and her lips glowed from their mixed saliva. He saw her eyes as she looked up at him, red from crying in complete pleasure. Her appearance increased his desire to come.
“Ahhhh,” he moaned out, feeling his orgasm in his very bones. It was a sensation he was familiar with. After defeating a powerful enemy, he sometimes glowed with the aftertaste of their fight and his victory. This was very similar - yet so different. More intimate, of course. His prey was still alive and he was still inside their body.
(Y/N) closed her eyes in bliss as Hisoka’s cum finally rested inside of her. Her breathing slowed down and the blush on her cheeks faded into softer shades of pink. The sun was coming down. Its orange tones highlighted her sweaty body like a canvas. It almost seemed like she was a freshly painted portrait. Divine Feminine tamed at last.
Both of them laid on their backs, observing the plain ceiling. It was relaxing to lay down after such an exhausting task. All she wanted to do was shut her eyes and rest.
Rest, rest, rest…
My brother! His fight is over!
(Y/N) shot up from the bed, practically tripping over herself as she gathered her things - putting them on. She didn’t even notice her bra was inside-out. More shockingly, she didn’t even notice cum was dripping down her legs.
Hisoka watched amusingly from the sidelines at her scattering around the room.
(Y/N) scanned the room for one final time. She groaned as she saw her wet panties on the bed, right next to Hisoka. She jumped onto the bed and reached for her underwear. As she pulled back, Hisoka grabbed her wrist.
“Tell me, (Y/N), how would your older brother react to hearing about how I ruined his little sister's innocence? How I fucked her and she enjoyed every second of it? I bet he’d try to kill me~.”
(Y/N)’s mouth opened and closed, not a single word leaving her starstruck mouth. Her body was paralyzed with fear. She forgot who she was dealing with in her panic.
“What's the matter? You want to keep our little secret just between us two? Fine. However, come to my room tomorrow at the same time you did today and we’ll have some more fun. If not…”
She didn’t need to ask - She knew. She imagined the consequences in her mind, thinking about the outcome of her moment of weakness.
Hisoka wasn’t done with her; this was just the appetizer.
—-
“Hey, (Y/N), where were you during my fight? I didn’t see you in the crowd at all.”
“Oh, I was just getting some snacks.”
“Ah, alright. Next time just tell me beforehand. I wouldn’t want a stranger taking advantage of my little sister. Right, sis?”
“Haha, yeah…”
278 notes · View notes
darthkruge · 3 years
Note
hello lovely!! i’ve been getting back into star wars lately and i’ve been loving your fics!! and i was wondering if i could make a request?? sort of like,, anakin but he doesn’t turn to the dark side type thing?? like he maybe confesses he’s scared to lose you and you help him through it?? maybe obi wan helps out?? honestly you can take it however you want :)) ty ty
anakin skywalker x reader || rewritten
summary || a rots fix it fic where i take many liberties and give anakin a support system + everyone gets better communication and we think about how it would perhaps end differently
warnings || hella canon divergence, angst w/ a happy ending, some violence (non graphic and not super described)
words || 5.1k (i am legit shocked)
a/n || hello and thank you!! i’m so glad you’ve been loving my fics! this fic was honestly super challenging for me and it ended up being the longest thing i’ve ever written. i made some big changes and lots of smaller ones, but each one was fully intentional. i really, really hope y’all like it <3
main masterlist || anakin masterlist 
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gif credit
-----
Anakin awoke with a start, chest heaving and covered in sweat. He was gripping the blankets as he tried to ground himself, frantically looking around as if to discern between reality and the horrid dreamscape his mind created. He whipped his head to the side, visibly relaxing as he saw you staring up at him, a confused look on your face. 
You were no stranger to Anakin’s nightmares but this one seemed unlike any he’d ever had. You slept curled into him and, thus, his jolt caused one of your own. Unsure if he wanted your touch just yet, you reached out to him with the Force. Panic, loss, grief, fear, terror, insecurity. You looked into his eyes, watching as they slowly cleared and he registered your presence. He blinked quickly, trying to clear the tears from his vision and gave you a slight nod. 
Reaching a tentative hand to his shoulder, you suppressed a gasp as you felt him shudder beneath you. You quietly whispered his name and placed a finger under his jaw, guiding his face to yours. You nodded back at him and opened your arms in silent invitation. He crawled into your embrace as you pulled him impossibly close to you, situating yourself against the headboard so you could better wrap yourself around his shaking body. Choked sobs erupted from his lips, each one tearing a hole in your heart. As he finally let himself cry with his face buried into your neck, you held him. By the Maker, you held him. 
He didn’t want to speak just yet and you understood. You’ve always extended the same respect back to him as he gives to you. Tucked into you, Anakin’s fingers squeezed into your flesh, as if trying to remind himself you were solid. You placed a few kisses into his soft hair and onto his forehead, hands running up and down his arms and back. You physically pressed reminders of your love into his skin for hours and, somewhere in the midst of your embrace, he let himself fall into a state of limbo. Unawake, unasleep, umoving, yet feeling everything you had to offer. 
----
When morning came, you reached out once again. The emotions from last night were still evident, just not as strong. Simultaneously, you allowed a small smile to come to you as you felt something new. Warmth, comfort, love. You ran your fingers through Anakin’s hair to pull him to consciousness, needing to see his eyes. Stars, his eyes. While they were absolutely gorgeous, they also always gave him away. You once told him that. “Only for you, my love.” He’d replied. 
“Hi.” He croaked out, meeting your gaze. Your eyes fluttered closed for a second as you took a deep breath in relief. His eyes were clear. You didn’t know how long the shadows would be banished for, but as long as they weren’t constant, you had hope. 
“Hi, baby.” You whispered, allowing yourself to give him another forehead kiss, made easy by your position that you’d somehow remained in throughout the night. You looked at him expectantly and knew he knew what you were asking.
“You… you died,” Anakin started. His eyes were already filling with tears. “It wasn’t clear. There was so much blood. And you kept begging me to help you. You screamed and screamed and screamed and you were in agony and…” 
You took his hand in yours, squeezing his fingers in encouragement to go on.
“I never- I never came for you.” He spit the words out as if they were venomous and shook his head. You could hear the self-hatred in his words, the way he couldn’t grasp the concept of hurting you, ever, and yet how seriously he took this. 
“Hey, hey. Stop, my love.” You said, hoping to pull him out of his spiral. “You would never harm me, Anakin. You would come for me, you always have. That was a horrible dream and I’m so sorry you had to experience it. But it was just a dream, Anakin. It’s not real.” 
He pulled away from you as if he couldn’t stand to feel your gentle touch. “No, no, no! It-” His words were cut off by his uneven breathing, his pulse racing as he relived the nightmare. “It felt like the ones I had about my mother. It felt… prophetic. I’m scared, Y/N, I can’t lose you.” 
You walked over to him, placing your hands on his cheeks and rubbing your thumbs over his cheekbones, hoping to calm him. “You won’t. It takes a lot to kill me, you know? Especially when I have you by my side.” 
Anakin nodded but you could tell he was unconvinced. 
“How about you talk to Obi-Wan about the dreams? He’s always helped you before.” You suggested. 
While normally this would be unthinkable, as it would expose your relationship, Anakin felt himself pulled toward the choice. Inwardly, he admitted that he could definitely use a friend right now. And Obi-Wan had always stood by him. Somehow, he just knew that now would be no different.  
------
Obi-Wan easily swung the door open with the Force before Anakin even had a chance to knock. He knew his former Padawan’s force signature like the back of his hand and had sensed his distress for days. Unbeknownst to Anakin, Obi-Wan had canceled his missions due to this, wanting to stay close for when Anakin eventually came to him for guidance. 
Obi-Wan looked up from his paperwork as he realized Anakin refused to come closer. Huddled behind the door frame, a conflicted and fearful look on his face, Obi-Wan was struck by how similar Anakin looked to the little boy he’d found on Tatooine all those years ago. Many nights, young Anakin would come into Obi-Wan’s room, plagued with nightmares. Just as before, Obi-Wan never turned him away. 
“Something’s troubling you.” 
Anakin sighed, taking a tentative step forward. “You know Master L/N?”
Obi-Wan smiled knowingly, having a sense of where this is going. “Yes, of course. A brilliant strategist, much like yourself.” 
“I…. I’m involved with them, Master.” 
“Involved?” Obi-Wan replied, with a quirked eyebrow.
“Please don’t punish Y/N for this, I know the Council frowns upon relationships. If you need to report it, I understand. But just report me, say they had nothing to do with it. But before you do anything please, Master, listen to what I must tell you. I wouldn’t unless it was absolutely necessary.” Anakin pleaded. 
“Anakin, I know.” 
“Yeah, I mean it truly is necessary-” 
Obi-Wan placed a comforting hand on the younger Jedi’s shoulder. “You misunderstand. I mean, I know.” 
Anakin’s eyes widened with realization before confusion filtered into his gaze. “But we were so careful!” 
“Not as much as you would think,” Obi-Wan said with a slight laugh.
“And you’re not upset?”
He sighed. “Being honest, I was a bit at first. Anakin, you know the rules and you can be so reckless at times! But how could I fault you for your own humanity? And I knew who you were when I met you. I was always aware of your compassion, your capacity for emotions.” Anakin nodded and smiled, but the faraway look in his eye never wavered. 
Clearing his voice, Obi-Wan continued. “Are you alright, Anakin?” 
“No.” The strength of the word shocked them both and caused Anakin to take a moment to compose himself. “They’re dying.”
Panic flashed through Obi-Wan’s expression. “They’re what? What happened? Was it a mission? Do the medics know? Is-” 
“- No, nothing… nothing yet. But it will.” While Obi-Wan didn’t exactly understand, he could tell through Anakin’s tone that his former Padawan believed this with his entire soul. 
“I’ve been having more nightmares.” Anakin said. 
“Like the ones with your mother?” 
Anakin nodded, his gaze muddled as his mind wove through every possibility on how to save you. Coming up with none, he looked up quickly, the lost confusion clear. 
“It’s going to be alright, Anakin. We’re going to do this together.” Obi-Wan offered, trying to comfort his friend. When Anakin nodded this time, his expression had more hope in it. Obi-Wan returned the gesture, tipping his head as Anakin walked out. Before Anakin reached the door, Obi-Wan called his name. 
“Talk to me if you feel troubled. About anything, my friend. And just know… it’s okay to feel afraid. And you’re no less a Jedi because you love them. At least, not in my eyes.” For the first time since he’d walked in the room, Anakin gave a true smile. His former Master inhaled deeply, realizing after hearing those words, Anakin looked more like himself than he had in a long while. 
----- 
A few hours and a Council meeting later, Anakin walked back into your chambers, closing the door with a huff. He wasn’t enraged, per se, but definitely conflicted. You approached him cautiously, heart falling when you saw those familiar clouds back in his eyes. 
“Did Obi-Wan not take it well?”
Anakin shook his head. “It’s not… he was supportive. But the Council has assigned something to me and…” He trailed off and looked at you. Only then did you see his bloodshot, puffy eyes. 
“What did they ask of you, Anakin?” You questioned, coming behind him to gently massage his tense shoulders. 
“I’m needed to spy on the Chancellor. Apparently there’s a Sith Lord somewhere in the Order. They suspect him.” He tried to keep his voice strong, but you could see how torn apart he was by the inflection in his tone. 
You took a breath and tried to process the information. “Will you do it?”
“I don’t know… if the Council tells me I must, then I must. But the Chancellor has only been good to me. I worry about betraying him but I don’t want to let down the Order. I’m not sure how to do this without causing someone harm.” He confessed. 
“They shouldn’t have put you in this position, it’s unfair. And you don’t have to, Ani. I know it feels like you do but you don’t need to bend to each of the Council’s requests. Whatever the fallout, whatever you choose, please know that I’m with you. And so is Obi-Wan. Not that it fixes anything, but at the very least, you’ll always have us.” 
Anakin turned around so he was facing you. “I don’t know what to do.” He whispered, voice laced with hopelessness. 
“Trust yourself. You have a good heart, intelligence, and strong morals. They’ve never failed you before.”
He nodded before leaning into you and your arms instinctively wrapped around him. Your fingertips found their way to his hair, gently weaving through the golden strands. 
“We’ll get through this, yeah?” While it was a question, you both knew you meant it as a statement.
“We’ll get through this.” Anakin echoed. He mumbled the words into your neck where he had buried his face. As if the words could seep into your skin. As if the hope could find its way to your heart and stay there, ever protected, ever true. 
-----
The next day, Anakin found himself in Palpatine’s office. He was wary, guarded. It was evident by the look on his eyes, the way he took a moment before taking another step. It was his training as both a Jedi and a General that allowed him to do this. The careful complexity of planning every move. 
“I heard the Council debating whether or not they should have made you a Master. It seems they do not trust you or value your talent as they should.” Palpatine’s words made Anakin freeze. Rationally, he knew this was wrong. At the very least, Obi-Wan trusts him and so do you. But there was a part of him that felt so validated by the Chancellor’s words that he wanted to hear more. To bask in them, in feeling wanted and appreciated. He hated himself for it. 
“I… I’m not sure what you mean by this.” Anakin attempted not to give himself away any more than he already has. 
“Well, they care about your potential. But they hold you back. They’ll never show you your true power, for they don’t want you to understand. They just wish to use it, no matter your own fate.” 
“I feel cast aside. Like I don’t matter.” Anakin wasn’t even sure why he shared these words. Somehow, in feeling so praised, the doubts just bubbled their way to the surface. He felt like a child in these moments, so painfully fragile. 
“You don’t. Not to them, Anakin. But with me I can teach you your power. I can teach you the ways of the Dark Side. I know of your fears, of those nightmares that plague you. I know about your secret marriage and how close you are to losing it all.” 
Anakin froze, his heart hammering in his chest. His thoughts raced as he tried to piece together the truth from all the lies. The mentions of Darth Plagueis. The Dark Side of the Force. 
“You’re the Sith Lord!” Anakin said, igniting his lightsaber and pointing it at the older man’s chest. 
Palpatine bowed his head slightly, a small smile gracing his lips. “Well done, my boy.” Anakin felt sick as he noted the pride in his tone. And yet that aching part inside him still swelled, ever so slightly.
“Now, don’t do anything rash.” The Chancellor reasoned. “Only the Dark Side can save the one you love.” 
Anakin wanted to do the right thing. He wished to be the one who could stand up and arrest Palpatine without a single ounce of guilt or regret. But as soon as Palpatine mentioned you, it’s like all his logic disappeared. He just wanted to save you, to not fail you as he’d failed his mother. But then he thought back to your words. “Strong morals.” And to his Master’s. “We’ll do this together.”
“I’m turning you into the Council.” 
“Wouldn’t you prefer to kill me?”
“Yes.” Anakin’s remark was forceful and clipped with anger.
“Then do it. Give yourself over to your wrath.”
He felt himself burning with betrayal, with resentment toward both sides. Even so, he could still tell right from wrong, selfless from selfish. And whatever Palpatine was doing… it certainly did not have the will of the people in mind. Without so much as deigning him with another response, Anakin turned and walked out of the room.
“If you turn me in, you’ll never save them!” Anakin tried to will Palpatine’s voice out of his head as he ventured back to the Council chambers. When he arrived back, he decided to slightly alter his plans. While he knew he must face all of them eventually, he wanted to talk to Obi-Wan first. Perhaps his Master could give him guidance, like he did about your nightmares. 
“General Skywalker… are you alright?” Anakin stumbled as he walked right into another figure, too caught up in his own head.
“I’m fine, Master Windu. Thank you- I’m sorry.” Mace looked at the younger Jedi with an unreadable expression. While there was much in his eyes, concern was definitely a part of it. 
“Have you seen Master Kenobi?” Anakin said after a brief pause for composure. 
“He’s supposed to leave for his next mission any moment now. If you hurry, you can probably still catch him.” 
Anakin thanked Master Windu before taking off in a run. No matter how fast his legs carried him, he felt his mind was working even faster, the internal conflict brewing more intently by the second. 
-----
Obi-Wan opened the door as soon as before Anakin could even knock. He looked at Anakin and gestured at a vacant chair, a silent invitation to sit. Anakin shook his head quickly. The younger Jedi’s eyes were scattered and conflicted, as if he’d been shaken to his very core. 
“Palpatine is the Sith Lord.” The words came out rushed, yet clear. As if Anakin needed to get them out as quickly as he could but replayed them in his head until they were all he knew. The intensity showed Obi-Wan that there was no doubt in his friend’s mind. 
Obi-Wan blinked. “Okay.” He stroked his beard, trying to find the words to say. “Are you alright?”
Anakin looked at Obi-Wan in confusion. Certainly there were more important questions his former Master would want to ask than that. 
“I know you and the Chancellor were close. This can’t be easy for you. I just wanted to ask if you were alright.” 
“I’m not sure.” Anakin said after some hesitation. “I don’t really know what to think… Palpatine is evil, right? But he believed in me when no one else did. He saw my potential, allowed me to confide in him. He told me he could show me how to save Y/N. Would someone evil do that?” 
Obi-Wan’s eyes softened as he looked at the painfully conflicted young man in front of him. “Anakin… he was manipulating you. He was isolating you so you had no one to turn to but him. It was a tactic, a ploy. He doesn’t care for you.” Anakin looked so heartbroken that Obi-Wan knew Anakin believed him. “I’m so sorry.” 
“But what about Y/N?” Anakin asked desperately.
Obi-Wan sighed. “Loving someone in the Order isn’t easy. Especially after everything you’ve gone through. And losing someone… it changes the way you love. You fear constantly, wondering when your love will evade you. When it will fall apart, like all the rest. But living like that, loving like that… it leaves no room for growth or peace. And that’s what relationships are for, aren’t they?” His voice was filled with compassion and wisdom. From experience, perhaps? Regardless of the reason, Anakin was reminded that someone did understand him. Despite the circumstances, he felt content. At least a bit. 
“Is there any way to save them?”
“I’m not sure. Let’s focus on Palpatine for now, alright? And we’ll bring Master L/N with us so you know they’re safe.” Obi-Wan wished nothing more than having a set solution to save Y/N. But some things were even out of his grasp. “I know this must be impossible for you, Anakin. I truly am sorry.” 
Anakin nodded. After all, it was true. If there was anything to describe the impending threat of losing another person he loved, impossible summed up the process. “I know. You’re doing all you can. Thank you, Master. And yes, I would like to bring them with us.” 
Obi-Wan clasped a hand to Anakin’s shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze as they met each other with a smile. “I’ll send them a message right now.”
----
You gasped when you received Obi-Wan’s message with the details of the Supreme Chancellor’s truth. Your heart cried for Anakin, knowing the betrayal must be breaking him. All you could do was wish that with Obi-Wan’s help, the two of you could support Anakin until he felt like he could breathe again. And you had faith in him. You always had faith in him. 
Grabbing your cloak, you jogged to Obi-Wan’s quarters. As soon as you opened the door, you ran to Anakin and hugged him to you, needing to feel his presence. Somehow, you knew he needed it, too. 
“Ready?” Anakin and Obi-Wan gave you nods of confirmation and you gave a tentative smile. “Alright. Let’s do this.” 
-----
Anakin entered Palpatine’s chambers first. For once, he felt sure of himself. He finally knew what he had to do. His gaze shifted to you, making sure you were alright. You placed a hand on his arm, rubbing your thumb up and down to reassure him. He inhaled. Exhaled. And ignited his saber. 
“I knew you’d come back, Skywalker. I knew you’d join me.” 
“Think again.” Obi-Wan responded as you and him walked into the chambers. Pure, unfiltered rage flickered through Palpatine’s eyes in response.
“Anakin, they’re trying to corrupt you. They’re trying to keep your power. Come with me, boy, and I’ll teach you all you wish to know. I’ll teach you how to save them.” He said, pointing a pale finger toward your face. 
You let out a sharp breath as you suddenly understood Anakin’s conflict. Of course Palpatine was using you as a bargaining chip. Using Anakin’s fear of abandonment, of losing his loved ones against him. It was disgusting, even for a Sith. 
“I… you can’t possibly know how to do that. It’s impossible!” 
“Not on the Dark Side. Look… Obi-Wan has turned them against you. He’s the cause of this! I’m sure he didn’t even pose a solution to saving Y/N. It’s because he doesn’t care about you, not like I do.” 
The shadows returned to Anakin’s eyes as his gaze switched between Obi-Wan and Palpatine. He couldn’t even bring himself to look at you, to see the pain in your eyes as he struggled with a choice that for others would be so simple. He hated himself for being weak but he truly couldn’t fathom losing you. 
Obi-Wan stepped forward, backing Palpatine against the wall and pointing his lightsaber at Palpatine’s throat. Anakin stepped back, too frozen to move, and unconsciously placed himself between them and you.
“It’s over, Chancellor. Don’t make this more difficult than it already is.” Obi-Wan said.
Palpatine shot lightning from his hands, causing Obi-Wan to deflect the matter with his lightsaber, redirecting it to Palpatine himself. As Palpatine shook from the force of his own blast, he once again called to Anakin.
“If you let him kill me, dear boy, Y/N will die. If you don’t try to save them, you will be the cause of their death.” 
Anakin’s eyes widened, those words hitting him right in the chest. He moved forward, pointing his lightsaber at Obi-Wan but refusing to make the final cut to end his life. Obi-Wan looked like he wanted to speak but the effort of holding of Palpatine’s lightning rendered him useless. It was Obi-Wan, after all. His former Master, his friend. The one person who he trusted with the secret of his marriage. He couldn’t kill him, right? He faltered, stepping slightly back. 
“Ani,” You said, your voice calm as you tried to reason with him. “Ani if you do this, you can’t come back from it. I know you don’t want to lose me and if you kill Obi-Wan, you will, regardless of the fate of my life. You aren’t too far gone, yet. You haven’t done anything irredeemable. Remember who you are, my love.” 
Anakin heard your words and looked at your face. You. He wanted to do good by you, to do good by all of them. He wanted to make his mother proud, make himself feel like leaving her for the Jedi Order meant something. And then his gaze filtered over to his friend. Obi-Wan stood tall against the force of Palpatine’s lightning, reminding Anakin of his friend’s strength. It was something Anakin wanted to emulate, too. 
Understanding his choice, Anakin took a step forward to position the blade toward Palpatine’s chest. His hand was shaking, movements unsure, eyes glossed over with immeasurable pain. But before he could make contact, you swiftly moved in front of him and killed Palpatine instead. Obi-Wan was thrust backward as the lightning ceased, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. 
“Why would you do that?” Anakin asked as he looked at you. 
“I didn’t want you to have to kill your friend. No matter what he turned out to be.” You said as you shifted on the balls of your feet. The weight of Palpatine’s death now weighed on your soul, as do those of every life you’ve ever ended. You could bear it and you knew Anakin was strong enough to do so, as well. You just didn’t want him to have to. 
Anakin nodded and whispered a thank you back to you. You just smiled, the love for him clear in your expression. Anakin turned around, walking to his friend and extending a hand for him. 
“I never doubted you.” Obi-Wan said simply as he met Anakin’s guilty eyes. 
“I should have made the choice to believe you earlier. I shouldn’t have let him get to me. I’m sorry, Master.” 
“Look at me, Anakin. We all struggle with our morals. We struggle and we’re unsure and we pray and hope to land on the right decision. And you did. You have nothing to apologize for.” Looking at your and Anakin’s arms around each other, Obi-Wan made one last decision. “How about the two of you retire for the evening? I’ll debrief with the Council, you’ve been through enough.” 
Once again, Anakin was struck by the older Jedi’s strength and selflessness. He nodded, as did you, before he accompanied you back to your quarters. 
----
You kept one arm around Anakin’s waist the entire way home, mirroring his that was around your shoulders. You couldn’t bear to separate, not after the events of the past few days. Seeing Anakin so torn up inside, it was eating away at you. Knowing you couldn’t save him was one of the hardest things you’ve ever had to deal with. 
Now, Palpatine was finally gone. There was no more threat to the Jedi Order, the Force once again balanced. But both of you still understood the one solution that hadn't been found: how to save you. It made everything easier, that you chose to kill the Chancellor. Anakin refused to voice the doubts in his head, wondering if he actually would have gone through with it knowing he would lose his chance at saving you. 
The air was melancholic surrounding you both. Heavy. Neither of you knew what to say, words failing in a moment that was so conflicted it almost overwhelmed you. But your heart warmed as you saw Anakin scamper in front of you to open and hold the door for you. You loved him so much, for doing the little things even in moments like these. It gave you hope.
You were okay with death, so long as it only affected you. When you joined the Jedi, you had to make your peace with it. But after you fell in love everything changed. You didn’t want Anakin to go through the pain of losing you. He’d been so open with you about, well, everything. Especially his past. He’d gone through so much, felt such raw pain and loss, you didn’t want to add to that. 
Taking his hands in yours, you looked into his blue eyes. 
“I don’t want you to die.” He whispered, the desperate, deflated tone making your heart break. “I won’t.” You wished to say, but you knew you couldn’t. 
“I don’t want to die, either.” You chose these words instead, relying on their honesty. 
“Palpatine could have saved you.” Anakin said after a beat. 
You sighed. “You don’t know that.” You stated, knowing it wouldn’t change how he felt. 
“Neither do you!” 
“But at what cost? At the cost of losing your soul? Anakin, you would have had to join the Sith! That’s no longer you! You’re good and you couldn’t have saved me if you were there, don’t you see that?” You pleaded. You wished he would see your logic, the truth behind your words. How even though he thought otherwise, he made the right decision. 
“What good is saving the Order if you won’t be a part of it?”
“What good is saving my life if I wouldn’t have you to live it with?” You countered. 
Anakin let out an exhausted breath before pulling you into him, hugging you. The fighting was too much and, frankly, he didn’t want to argue. Not with you, not ever. You both let out a humorless chuckle as you leaned into each other. 
“I love you.” His tone conveyed it all. 
“I love you.” You replied, your voice muffled from being pressed into his robes. 
“Can we sleep? I don’t want to face this right now. Can we just put this aside, if just for a moment? Can I lay with you and can you hold me and can we just have each other?” You questioned breathlessly.
“I would like nothing more, my love.” He smiled slightly and pressed a kiss to your head as he added the words of endearment, wanting you to understand he wasn’t upset with you. You already knew that, though. You were in love with Anakin Skywalker. Of course you’d argue from time to time. But at the end of the day, you were two hopelessly in love Jedi just trying to save each other. 
Crawling into bed, sleep came for the both of you quickly. You were holding him and he was holding you, tangled together as you nestled his warm embrace. He tucked his face into your neck as you did so and savored the feel of you next to him. Safe. 
Drifting off, Anakin tried to fight the pull of sleep, knowing he’d just suffer from another nightmare like he had every day since the first one. One where you’d die and he could do nothing to stop it. Amidst these tumultuous thoughts, his breathing evened, lulling him under. 
You were in the grass, a flower crown atop your head. Anakin was leaning against a small house. It was quaint but beautiful. Small, not outwardly flashy, but full of love and meaning. Looking around, he smiled as he saw green vines crawling up the sides of the house, a garden of your favorite flowers out front. You always had a soft spot for that. 
We are on Naboo, he realized. It was peaceful. It was the dream you always talked of together. Anakin’s breath caught as he felt the certainty of this dream. It felt just like his nightmares, except this one left him content. He didn’t want to entertain the thought for too long, afraid of jinxing it. But he knew it was prophetic. He wasn’t sure how he changed his fate, what exactly gave him this future. Something inside him just knew that when he wakes up the next morning, all will be okay. He felt infinitely lighter as he understood the threat was gone. 
When you looked up and saw him, you raced toward him and jumped into his arms. Anakin stumbled but caught you, breathing in your scent as you kissed the side of his neck. As he held you, his thoughts slightly wandered. But he was grounded by your presence, reminding him that you were safe and he was okay. With you, he was finally, completely, home.
-----
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makeste · 3 years
Text
but I just feel too tired to be fighting
this is a follow-up post to what I said in my recap the other day about this arc being the Deku Angst arc, as opposed to the Villain Hunt arc or the Deku SIXQUIRKS Exhibition arc. I feel like the fandom discussion tends to focus on the flashier parts of the chapters -- the sexy villains and the new quirk reveals and the Shindous -- each week, and so the quieter emotional beats sometimes get overlooked, especially since the character arc here is playing out in little bits and pieces over time rather than all at once.
this has always been a very reactionary fandom, and there’s a tendency to judge the chapters week to week without ever going back to look at how they all fit into the big picture. so I figured I would try to attempt that, and basically go chapter by chapter here to look at what exactly Horikoshi is setting up and how it all fits together.
so let’s start with the end of chapter 306, which is when the arc officially kicks off. specifically with the very last page:
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this is imo one of the best pages Horikoshi has ever drawn. I got the sense that this was a scene he’d had in his mind’s eye for quite a long time, and that he was excited to finally get to this part of the story. it’s extremely effective as both a chapter-ender, and an arc-opener. like, look at this:
it establishes the initial premise of the new arc -- the world is in chaos, and Deku is now seemingly on his own
it leaves the readers with a number of questions. why did Deku leave U.A.?? is he really on his own now?? why does he look so beat-up and exhausted?? what is he up to?? what is the world like now that all these villains have been unleashed and the heroes have been decimated?? and most importantly of all, what the fuck is going to happen next??
it pays homage to some of Horikoshi’s comic book influences -- Batman in particular
it dramatically hits us with that “THE FINAL ACT BEGINS” and lets us know that shit is getting real now
that’s some good shit. so much so that I think people tended to overlook the other notable thing about this page amidst all of the initial excitement and discussion and speculation about where the series was headed. and that is the fact that the final panel in this chapter is NOT the panel of Deku standing above the city. the very last panel, the one that this chapter actually ends on, is instead the close-up of Deku’s face. his face, which is covered in shadow; and his eyes, which have dark circles under them and are prominently missing the usual flecks of light that give him his signature “sunny optimistic shounen protagonist” look.
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not to mention this last line here, which is a call back to the very first time we saw the 14-year-old Deku way back in chapter one.
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I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Horikoshi chose to throw this reference in. nor is it a coincidence that THIS is the scene he actually chose to end the chapter on. what this does is show us the drastic shift in Deku’s emotional state of mind, and his attitude towards being a hero. he’s gone from being thrilled and excited to being jaded and exhausted. he’s matured, but at a great cost. it’s always been his dream to be a hero, but “be careful what you wish for” is a popular adage for a reason. and right now he looks the furthest thing from happy.
and this is the emotional beat that Horikoshi chooses to end the chapter on. this is the panel that closes out the War arc, and begins the final act. to me the message could not be clearer -- this arc will be about the exploration of Deku’s character, and his struggle as he tries to live up to the expectations that have been placed on him as the Last Holder of OFA and quite possibly the World’s Only Hope.
it’s a character arc that builds on a lot of the things we’ve already learned about Deku over the course of the series, such as the fact that he is reckless, and that he focuses on others often at the expense of himself. but more importantly, it’s an arc that finally expands on the dark side of what has up until now been a net positive for Deku -- the power of OFA. up until this point, despite its ups and downs, it’s been a boon for Deku overall and has allowed him to pursue his dream. but now we’re finally reaching the point where the monkey’s paw part of the OFA blessing/curse finally starts to come into play. OFA gives Deku more power than he could have ever dreamed of, but it also comes with a built-in destiny that he can’t opt out of whether he likes it or not. AFO is on the loose and out there trying to destroy the world. and now everyone has pinned their hopes on this sixteen-year-old kid, and the question of whether or not the sixteen-year-old kid is ready is apparently not one that anyone feels inclined to ask (possibly because they’re afraid that the answer might be “no”).
he doesn’t have a choice in the matter. he has to do it, because there’s no one else who can. that’s the kind of pressure that is on Deku now.
and on that note, we begin the Deku Angst arc.
chapter 307
this in hindsight was mostly just a set-up chapter to better establish the current state of the BnHA world at large (spoilers: it’s not good), while also providing an answer for one of the big initial questions of the arc -- namely, “what happened to all of those villains that AFO released from Tartarus?” these are important things to touch on, but the pacing could definitely have been better, and the bulk of the chapter was dedicated to providing fanservice to all of the Shindou fans who spammed the most recent popularity poll (which, whatever lol). anyway, so this was the sole chapter thus far with absolutely no Deku development. thankfully the arc picks up from there.
chapter 308
on to the next one! this was the one and only chapter thus far which I think actually qualifies as an “exhibition fight.” this was definitely all about showing off Deku’s current powerset, as well as introducing us to another of the SIXQUIRKS. however, there was Deku development here as well, most notably in this scene:
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this is the scene that got a lot of people speculating that this arc was going to focus on Deku hunting down all of the old villains. but I think people got so caught up in that speculation that they overlooked what this scene tells us about Deku’s mindset. and yes, there is new information being revealed here, and it’s not just a rehash of the stuff we already knew. like yes, we know that Deku was shaken up by the recent encounters with Dabi and Tomura, and we know that made him start questioning why villains become villains in the first place, and all that good stuff, and that’s great. however, there are two additional important things that this scene helps establish for us.
the upcoming battle with TomurAFO is weighing heavily on Deku’s mind. this is something that will become a recurring theme in this arc. Deku is thinking about this constantly. the question of what to do when he finally encounters TomurAFO again is knocking incessantly at the back of his mind, and this won’t be the last time it comes up.
Deku is using these villain encounters as test runs. can Tomura be redeemed?? is he just being stupid and naïve?? or is this really something worth attempting?? the interesting thing about this is that Deku’s resolve to save people is usually so strong and unwavering that it’s more than enough to overcome any doubts that he might have. but this time it seems like the repeated objections posed by the Vestiges and Gran Torino have really gotten to him. it’s possible I’m just reading way too much into things, but to me it really feels like Deku’s recent attempts at Talk no Jutsu were meant to do more than just show his growing awareness that the line between heroes and villains is thinner than he once imagined. they’re also serving as trial runs for the real test, when it finally comes. if he can “save” even a villain like Muscular, there’s hope for him being able to save Tomura as well. and so that moment when Muscular rejects him out of hand is all the more disappointing to him, even if it wasn’t really unexpected. basically it wasn’t the answer that he had been hoping for.
aside from those little notes though, like I said, this was unquestionably an exhibition fight first and foremost. which is fine; we needed to establish where Deku is currently in terms of strength, and it was also just fun to see him kick some ass, ngl. in terms of story purpose this chapter was similar to 219, which showed us how Shouto and Katsuki had powered up after getting their provisional licenses. people who don’t care about those characters might argue that these fights weren’t necessary, but as someone who stans all three characters hard, I would disagree! but anyways, moving on.
chapter 309
in contrast to the previous chapter, this chapter focuses more on establishing Deku’s current mental state, as opposed to his physical state. and this is what we learn:
(1) Deku is ~technically~ being shadowed/accompanied by All Might and the Hawksquad (but in practice he’s avoiding them).
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(2) it was Deku’s own decision to leave U.A., and he did it because he didn’t want anyone else getting hurt in order to protect him.
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and finally, (3) Deku’s game plan is to stop Tomura and All for One before they reach full power.
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this last part is very important, because it means there’s a countdown in effect. as far as Deku is concerned, there’s only a finite amount of time before TomurAFO becomes unstoppable. which means that he’s not only under “gotta get stronger” pressure, but time pressure as well. he doesn’t have the luxury of taking his time and training in safety. he’s being rushed now; this is do-or-die.
this chapter is also the first in this arc in which we get to see Deku’s expressions without the hood covering up his face, and what we see is very telling. as previously stated, the light is gone from Deku’s eyes. he keeps his expressions very neutral, and the only time we even see a hint of a smile is when he hugs his mom in the flashback, and it’s clear from the dialogue (“it’s okay, I’ll come home to you”) that he’s doing it for her sake in order to comfort her.
but aside from that, this is very much not the Deku we’ve grown accustomed to. this is the chapter that really establishes his current mental state imo. above all else, he’s afraid that more people will get hurt because of him, and so he’s distancing himself from everyone around him. and he’s also morbidly preoccupied with the inevitability of having to face TomurAFO again, and soon. the chapter ends on the flashback of Gran giving him his cape, and telling Deku that “killing can be another way to save someone.” there’s a lot on this kid’s mind, to say the least.
chapter 310
this chapter opens with a gang of civilians who are trying to open fire on a nice fox lady whose only crime was walking around in the rain at night. Deku intervenes to save her, and it’s the first time in this arc that we see anything close to the “old” Deku, who just wanted to save people with a smile.
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but it’s bittersweet, because all the lady can talk about is how scared she was, and how horrible everything is right now. and so Deku, who feels responsible in a lot of ways for everything that’s happened, just feels that much more pressure to somehow make things right again.
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there’s also this extra throwaway line which is especially heartbreaking:
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“I can’t afford to be around anyone.” fucking ouch. just reinforcing once more how incredibly isolated Deku is right now -- not by choice, but because he feels like it’s not safe to let anyone else get close to him. and so he’s out here running around this dystopian cityscape in the middle of the night in the pouring rain all on his own, and neglecting himself to the point where All Might practically has to force a bento on him.
but does he complain? of course not. because his focus is never on himself. instead, when he settles down to eat, his thoughts immediately drift back to, guess who...
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it’s that time pressure once again. “unless I draw out One for All’s full power, I can’t stop any of this.” it’s just nonstop, I have to get stronger, I’m running out of time, I have to do better, and constantly thinking about that inevitable confrontation.
Deku is a thinker, you guys. and when left to his own devices he will overthink, every time. his mind will run in endless loops while he mentally works his way through all of the possibilities. and that’s one of his greatest strengths, don’t get me wrong, but at a time like this it’s also one of his greatest weaknesses. it’s just so fucking easy for him to get stuck in his own head, in his endless rambling thoughts and analyses. and without anyone else there to help distract him, or help him focus, he’s become fixated on his mission, and it’s slowly consuming him.
this, incidentally, is also the chapter in which we finally see Two and Three’s faces, and learn why Two in particular is so reluctant to lend his power to Deku. he appears to be the lone holdout at this point, so stay tuned on that, because I don’t doubt this will wind up being crucial to Deku’s future development, however it winds up playing out.
chapter 311
this chapter flips back to the Hawksquad for the first half, so we get a brief respite from the ongoing Dekuangst. right before we switch back though, we do get confirmation of something we had pretty much already guessed:
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like, that much was already apparent based on what we’d seen (the bags under his eyes; the fact that he refused to sit still in any one place for very long even at night), but it’s always nice to get the official confirmation so that people can’t dispute it lol. so yeah, Deku isn’t sleeping much. and not eating much either, if all he’s getting is the occasional bento from Dadmight. so basically not taking care of himself at all, huge shocker there. but this is something that’s important enough to the story that Horikoshi took the time to point it out in the dialogue, in addition to all of the visual clues we’d already gotten.
and just in case we needed to drive that point in any further, this chapter ends with the appearance of Lady Nagant! like yeah, no shit Deku isn’t getting much sleep, what with him having to fend off racist civilians and hired assassins every five fucking minutes. smdh. can he live??
chapter 312
so this is the chapter that properly introduces Lady Nagant, who maaaay or may not be one of the primary antagonists of this arc?? like, it’s really unclear right now tbh, but she gets hyped up by Hawks and AFO, and has a flashback and a mysterious past and a weird trump card (where did you go, Overhaul) and all that good shit, so yeah? one can hope at any rate.
but anyway. so to his credit, Deku’s first thought is to retreat, but he quickly abandons that plan once he figures out Nagant’s location. this is played off like a logical strategic decision at first, but the subsequent chapter quickly makes it clear that Deku’s decision to take the fight to Nagant is less rational than he might have you think.
chapter 313
so yeah. last but not least, the most recent chapter, in which Deku’s real reason for targeting Lady soon becomes apparent:
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what’s more, it quickly becomes clear that he miscalculated and probably would have been better off following Hawks’s advice, seeing as he promptly gets himself shot, and subsequently realizes that AFO gave Nagant an extra quirk, something he hadn’t taken into account. but instead of cutting his losses and running at this point, he doubles down instead and not only breaks out Smokescreen, but also the Third’s quirk which he has never even used before.
it’s worth noting that both En and the Third start telling him to chill at this point, and warn him that what he’s attempting is too dangerous. but tbh if they were expecting him to listen, they haven’t been reading the same arc I’ve been reading. once again, Horikoshi makes it clear that Deku has one thing and one thing only on his mind right now.
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of course. once again it all comes back to this. hunt down AFO. it doesn’t matter that he’s exhausted. it doesn’t matter that he’s just been shot twice. it doesn’t matter that Hawks, despite knowing what Deku was capable of with his OFA abilities, specifically warned him away from this one person only. it doesn’t matter that even the Vestiges are trying to tell him you’re going too fast and you’re trying to do too much and it’s too dangerous.
he just doesn’t care. long story short, the only thing that matters to Deku right now is tracking down and defeating TomurAFO. and as the person who knows him best once so aptly put it, “he doesn’t take himself into account.” and therein lies the major challenge of this arc.
and so this is where we’re currently at now. and this has been a very long post, but if nothing else, I hope I was able to get this one point across: there is absolutely no way that Deku will be able to defeat TomurAFO as he is now. not a chance in hell. somehow he’s managed the uncommon feat of waging a war of attrition against himself, which is really quite an accomplishment. he’s not taking care of himself, and he’s refusing to listen to sound advice from the people surrounding him, and is trying to skip ahead to the final boss battle before he’s ready, because the guilt and pressure from feeling responsible for the current situation are eating him up. the only way that the world can go back to normal is if he can defeat AFO; therefore he has to do it as soon as possible, because time is running out and everyone is counting on him. this is who Deku is. and this is what inevitably happens when his saving mentality is taken to extremes, and left unchecked.
anyway so to wrap up this post now, I do think this arc is a lot more cohesive than it’s gotten credit for thus far, and Deku is the glue holding it all together. I for one am loving the exploration of his character and all the subtle little angsty touches as we build up to the big moment, whenever it finally comes. just keep in mind though that if his decisions right now seem reckless and short-sighted, it’s because they’re supposed to seem that way, because Deku is not in a good mental state right now. the cracks are finally showing in our perfect protagonist, just like everyone has been wanting this whole time. he is just a kid. he is doing his best. he is trying far too hard to do his best, and it is hurting him so badly, but he doesn’t even realize. this arc is not an endorsement of the Angsty Nomad Hero lifestyle, lol. it’s the exact fucking opposite, and I think it’s being wildly misinterpreted with all of the emphasis on “oh look at that, he mastered another quirk with no effort”, as opposed to “oh look at that, he is shutting down emotionally and is a few more missed nights of sleep away from a complete and total breakdown.”
tl;dr the overarching storyline of this arc is all about Deku slowly falling apart due to his trauma from Jakku, and the subsequent pressure that was put on him by the Vestiges with their whole “GUESS WHAT, YOU’RE THE LAST USER OF OFA, THAT’S RIGHT, IT’S ALL ON YOU BUDDY” pep talk. and mark my words, things are not going to go according to plan. something is going to go terribly wrong here. whether it’s something happening to All Might, or AFO setting up a trap for him, either way Deku is being set up to fail in a major way. unless of course, someone (or a group of someones) manages to intervene first, and possibly stage an intervention or something. it’s what he needs right now, but idk if Horikoshi is going to make it that easy.
anyway, but in other words, the point of this arc is not to show how much stronger Deku has gotten and how he doesn’t even need his friends anymore. it’s the exact opposite -- the point of this arc is to show that Deku needs his friends now more than ever. that in spite of OFA and all of its mystical trappings and fancy SIXQUIRKS, Deku can’t do this alone. he needs his friends. that’s the core message. and right now, we are at the “I can get by on my own” part of the story. and the part we are all waiting for, but which is coming -- I guarantee it is coming, you guys -- is “the thing is, you don’t have to.”
and that shit is going to slap hard you guys. and I for one can’t wait. but until then, enjoy the angst.
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