#this honestly has been my longest writing pieces on any of my favourite media

[fangirlmedstudentblog]

You know, while watching My School President, it was one of the most pleasant surprises in a long long while. But one thing I truly did NOT expect was to develop such an attachment to Tinn.

I've loved watching these two boys fall in love, pine and help each other through the ups and downs of school, but I don't think I ever expected just HOW MUCH I would relate to Tinn. And this was legit 2 episodes in. (This post was written after ep8 and before ep9, for reference)

So following is a bit of a long-ish post on why Tinn is my favourite character in MSP and a bit on why his behaviour in the latest episode isn't that surprising to me and was, a while in the making, i feel.

At the risk of being overly personal and sappy on main, I would do SO much to just hug those two boys.

Also it's gonna be a bit of a long one, so strap in.

Spoilers till Ep 8 of My School President

Tinn, i was surprised to see had a very similar upbringing to mine. Like him, I am also an only child. Like him, I also have a strict mom, who is ALSO a teacher and a surgeon dad, who, despite not wanting to, was not able to be with me as much when I was younger because of his work, just like Tinn's dad, who is a writer.

Looking at the initial few episodes of MSP, it's pretty clear that both of Tinn's parents, while loving him so much, had to sometimes give up on time with tinn for their work. (It's something that i think is very common when both parents are working, or writing, as with Tinn's dad) And that Tinn loves his parents a lot.

Not to speculate on Tinn's upbringing, but based on my own experiences, and that scene around Tinn's birthday (spectacled nobi tinn is so CUTE, I just wanna punch his cheeks, my baby) it's a bit obvious that it's not the first time he's had to wait alone due to his mom and dad being busy. You have his mom being apologetic due to unexpectedly being called into a work dinner, her asking to celebrate with his dad, who himself is away at a book signing so, not exactly available himself (on his son's birthday too!).

You might call it a reach, but I don't know, it's something I feel isn't wrong.

If he was immature and spoiled, he might have been petulant and whining and complaining about how no one is wanting to celebrate HIS birthday with him. But he doesn't. He just accepts it. He smiles when his mom offers to let him come to work dinner, refusing with a smile so that his mom doesn't worry about him. He says (with a smile that doesn't reach his eyes) that he'll celebrate with his friend. Maybe this scene was to show that Tinn is mature, doesn't worry his parents and independent, maybe it was just a reason for Tinn to be sad before meeting Gun, i don't know man, I'm not the scriptwriter.

And inferring from the phone call with Tiwson, we can see that he IS sad that his parents can't celebrate with him. He KNOWS in his heart that it's ok, they love him, and sometimes life can just get in the way of things you want and you can't celebrate all your birthdays the way you want. But still, he's still a boy, and can't help but feel sad.

Maybe it's that resigned acceptance you see on his face and the call to Tiwson, where he fakes being ok since he doesn't want to inconvenience Tiw to come celebrate his birthday because he's already at home. Even though he's actually feeling a bit sad and lonely. And he knows that if he asked Tiwson, he would've come just because his friend asked him to. Just because he's feeling alone doesn't mean he should inconvenience people, that's what i think Tinn feels.

(I have a feeling the reason I've felt so attached to this scene at Gun's mom's shop is because I've BEEN in this situation way more times than I can count. And way to go when you write a whole ass ramble based on like just 1 minute of a drama)

When you see as you're growing up that your parents are super busy, and / or your parent(s) is very strict, especially with regards to academics (Tinn's mom is a very typical asian mum, in that regard), you grow up with the desire to keep your parents happy by becoming one less source of stress to them.

And being an only child can get lonely at times. Combine that with a strict mother, who is a bit too controlling over their child, and consistently expects the best from their child, you get yourself a kid who tries to show themselves as mature for their age and is a bit more independent than the parents would think. Also a pretty good liar and good at hiding their true emotions as well. Added if you're an introvert, you become a bit socially awkward and have a hard time making real friends.

(Personal experience talking here)

Plus from what I've seen so far about Tinn's parents, it's obvious that out of the two, it's Tinn's dad who is the more emotionally supportive one in the family. During that dinner scene in Ep 2, we can see that it's Tinn's dad who seems more open with his emotions, and Tinn is very cautious when talking about the music club (which his mother doesn't seem to like) to his mother. He mostly goes along with what his mother says, trying to not rock the boat as one does.

When you have that kind of strict parent(s) growing up, especially if you're a single child and have all of the focus of your parents, is that you become a bit reliant on your parent(s) making your decisions for you and you don't push boundaries and just go about life doing what's expected of you.

You become someone who constantly tries to please the strict parent, because you're afraid of them being disappointed in you. Because sometimes you're more scared of disappointing your parents than actually making them angry.

You more often than not, are seen as the 'golden child' who has ideal behaviour at school, and in studies and extra-curriculars. It's what expected of you and it's not like it's difficult to do so, why rock the boat unnecessarily?

And then when you start discovering that your own wishes and desires and priorities are different from your parent's (which more than often happens, because you are not your parents) and it's something that they might not like or even disapprove of.

That realisation makes you scared because you know you can't show what your true feelings and opinions on stuff because it's NOT what is expected of you. Then you double down on showing the perfect you that everyone likes (especially authority figures and teachers) and hide your imperfections.

That's where the people pleasing part of you comes into play. But inside you might be getting more frustrated and angry.

And then you get into your emo phase

Ahem.

Anyways.

Back to where you're wondering that what has this long winded tangent to do with Tinn.

Now, nobi-tinn, aka Tinn in first year, a bit of a resigned to being the perfect kid who never complains, meets Gun when he's all sad about his birthday.

Gun, who's all cute and handsome faced kid with a bright smile who just sets down a treat in front of you without you knowing who he is and why did he just do that.

Then he introduces himself and it's someone from your own class. And he's entranced by his cute little smile. And a bit gobsmacked as well because 'oh my he's cute' is running through that boy's head on loop.

Then his mother comes in and Gun is like oh, I'm just being friendly so that i can mooch off him and his work. That makes Tinn a little bit disappointed, because he thought maybe Gun wanted to be friends with him for real, but he just wants to be friends to 'borrow' stuff from you. Still he's pleased at atleast SOMEONE cares. Plus it helps that the boy IS cute so he's like, eh, whatever.

But then Gun goes up and is like if you're feeling lonely people, here's a song we can share. And you can see that Tinn is surprised, oh he's a singer?

Then this cute boy he just met busts out a song that RESONATES so much with him and he's like OH. OH HELL. I LIKE HIM. OH NOOOOOOO

Cut to Tinn's trying to get closer to him. But FAILING. MISERABLY. CONSTANTLY.

Poor guy even decide to clean up, change his look and try to confess at the Hot wave contest but only to be thwarted by a damn fight breaking out, which leads to Gun not hearing what was said.

Then both of them are in their final year of high school and Tinn, to his shock discovers that his mom DISAPPROVES of the music club (understandable, since they caused that huge fight, plus all those near fire and probable noise complaints), the place which Gun is an integral part of and where he thrives. And to his horror, wants to shut it down, which is like the last thing Tinn wants because then there's NO way Gun will even like you as a friend, much less have a crush on him. Poor guy, can't catch a break in his romantic life.

He's now stuck on how to help his crush without letting anyone know that he's helping him (because it's NOT what is expected of you)

Then Tiwson gives the idea that become the school president and prevent the club from shutting down. That way Gun might even be impressed by all that Tinn did to help him. Tinn does that. Becomes the School Council President. You're like ok, now the club is safe.

But then Tinn discovers that not only does your crush NOT remember him, but he actually HATES him.

We all know how it all then follows as we can see in the show. You have Tinn defying the school rules, manipulating folk music competitions, offering help anonymously online, ensuring the band actually has instruments to play on, giving him your own DAD'S PRIZED GUITAR (I have a feeling this might play a role in a future episode), lying to your own parents about what you're doing MULTIPLE TIMES and basically giving Gun as leniency as much as possible to help him save his club and actually win the hot wave so that you can actually confess.

All the while going all Elsa in front of him with conceal, don't feel mode because from what Tinn knows Gun hates him and won't accept his help if he knew. PLUS he's realising his mom's probable disapproval and disappointment in his actions. But Tinn has decided that it's time to stand up for what he wants to do and not what his parents want, for what seems like the first time in his life.

Awww Tinn is entering his rebellious phase, all so as to let Gun's dreams come true and let him be happy. Because don't forget, Tinn actually never ever pressurised Gun into liking him back or ever actually let him know just HOW much Tinn has done for him behind the scenes.

Then Tinn and Gun start becoming closer and closer and then they realise he actually reciprocates Tinn's feelings!!! YAY HALLELUJAH 🎉🎉🎉 But you two still can't date because of a stupid arbitrary rule that was put there because your previous club leader was a jealous man so they decide to shamelessly flirt with each other for now and stay somewhere in between mutual pining to secretly dating.

Meanwhile, adulthood and deciding on career is approaching and Tinn's mom decides that Tinn should be a doctor because it's a stable field. (which, personally, i think is bs. It's just the plain old insistence of wanting your kids to be a doctor, a lawyer ir an engineer that is drilled onto an asian parent's heads)

Tinn himself is very unclear about what to take in the future, understandably because this is something your parents can't decide for you. Plus while being with Gun and helping him, Tinn is gradually coming out of under his mother's thumb and letting himself feel what he wants to feel and have his own opinions. He is becoming a bit more rebellious and liking making decisions for himself.

So while Tinn doesn't necessarily want to become a doctor, he's not exactly protesting against it and is still unsure if he really wants to become one, and WHY. (I personally would love if Tinn did NOT become a doctor, or even if he does, atleast makes that choice with his own free will. Becoming a doctor requires a LOT of personal motivation, and being forced into being one is just damaging to one's mental health. This is speaking as someone who has just become a doctor herself a while back)

Then he realises that he wants to become a doctor to take care of his loved ones (admirable and a lofty goal tinn) after taking care of Gun's mom.

At the beginning of ep 8, we have Tinn talking to his mom to get permission for the club to stay over at nights for a week. Then his mom asks if he's started studying for an exam that is coming up in a month and he says he hasn't (I'm the same Tinn 😮‍💨🤜🏻🤛🏻)

But then we get Tinn standing up to his mom to get permission to stay overnight, with some crafty manipulation on his part to get her to agree. If you look carefully, his mom is confused about why Tinn is being this insistent about helping the music club. His mom has had that look before too, at the beginning of the show when he's asking to go in her place during the folk music festival.

And looking at it from Tinn's mom's perspective, Gun and his club are more of a nuisance than anything. And she probably is wary that they might drag Tinn to the wrong path. We as viewers know that is profoundly incorrect, but his mom doesn't.

And then we have Tinn and Gun hiding from his mom in the pool and then using the lousiest excuse I've EVER heard (Tinn you weren't even trying my boy). Can someone please tell me that does it actually abruptly rain out of nowhere in Thailand and then it stops just as abruptly??

Like the only reason Tinn's mom seemed to buy that excuse is that she hasn't caught him lying to her before. Also why do I have a feeling that she really some bias against the band kids? Because why only offer the towel to Tinn when both Tinn AND GUN are soaked????

Then we find out that Tinn's mom has arranged for him to meet with a doctor from the college Tinn might be applying for later who's having a seminar in his school. This is in order to have Tinn give a favorable impression to the doctor.

Contrary to what many were thinking, it's JUST an introduction, not an actual interview or anything. It's kind of like a mom showing off her kid to another so as to improve Tinn's chances of getting in.

One thing I noticed about Tinn while he was being told this was just how uncomfortable he looked. I'm still not clear myself whether it was because he was gonna miss being able to watch Gun perform openly (something he's been wanting to for YEARS at this point) or that he was benefiting from being the principal's son and getting this advantage over his peers who were as interested as him in that field. I personally like to believe it's a mixture of the two, with the former being a larger reason than the latter.

Moving on to the late night school ground heart to heart, you can see just how affected Tinn was by Gun's confession of gaining strength from performing in front of the people he loves. Especially since he knew that he couldn't actually go and watch him. We as audience and Gun could tell that just how sad he was at not being able to attend.

Then we had the wonderful piece of Gun deciding that it was FINE and both of them deserved to go after their dreams and encouraged Tinn to work hard towards his dreams, like Tinn encouraged Gun to do.

Now what follows is a bit of speculation, but not unnecessarily untrue, i think.

But what Gun doesn't know that the only reason Tinn even WANTS to become a doctor on the first place is in some way to take care of Gun and his own parents and Gun's mom.

It isn't Tinn's dream to be a doctor, it is his mom's. It's just something that he's going along with because he doesn't exactly hate the thought of being a doctor. Tinn's dream, atleast for the moment is to be at Gun's side, help HIM achieve his dream of winning the hot wave and be his boyfriend, in that order.

On that note, if Tinn you ever want to become a doctor, I think being a pediatrician would suit you a lot (as suggested by my lovely friend @sarahandtheninjas and i agree with them)

While, he might have gotten a good reason why to want to pursue medicine, his priority is still Gun and passing his school.

And his priority at that moment is watching Gun perform because he wants to provide Gun that support during such an important time of his life. Tinn has enough confidence in himself that he knows he can get in medical school by himself without any prior introductions from his mother. (I don't know how exactly do you even get in medical school in Thailand so if anyone could provide some information, that would be highly appreciated!!)

Plus i believe that Tinn is beginning to chafe from his mother's constant hovering. It comes from a place of love, but i think it would feel very annoying when you're a teen. Like when they both were rehearsing answers to give to the doctor, (which by the way were super generic and expected answers, exactly the ones they would look for, but still boring) you could see that Tinn could NOT CARE LESS about that *stupid* doctor and just wants to see Gun perform.

So in a fit of extreme bravery (seriously, it takes guts to talk back to your mom, especially if she's as strict with Tinn as I think she might be) he says sorry to mom and runs away to the Hot Wave.

Then that absolutely LOVELY conversation between TinnGun follows where Tinn reveals that that introduction wasn't actually that necessary and what's the use of becoming a doctor of he can't take care of the ones he loves.

Also Tinn, becoming a doctor means accepting that you might not being able to spend a lot of time with your family and loved ones, especially if you go into something like emergency medicine or surgery or ob-gyn or even medicine, especially during your specialisation years. I SHOULD KNOW, I'm not only a child of a surgeon, but a doctor in my own right.

(Also, dropping the love word so early Tinn???? That's pretty gosh darn brave of you my boy, but seriously Tinn, do not decide to become a doctor on a whim)

All of those actually reading till this point I love you all so much 😘😘

And after all of that, what I am personally looking forward to in the future episodes is how exactly does Tinn's late stage rebellion play out, because I have a feeling that his mom might be shaping up to be the final boss.

And thanks a LOT for reading

(I might edit this post later after all the episodes are over to add more thoughts and add some screenshots, maybe)

#my school president #tinn tinnaphob #tinngun #my school president the series #thai bl #my school president meta #tinn msp meta #I can't believe I actually wrote a whole meta post for MSP #when i actually should have been studying for a major exam that's in a month #what even is in this show that makes me love it so much #gemini norawit #tinn x gun #this honestly has been my longest writing pieces on any of my favourite media

[gregrulzok]

What are your top 10 favorite media, like from books, anime/manga, movies, tv series, etc (if you feel like listing multiple) of all time? Feel free if you want to write the reasons or not of why you love them....

Now THIIIIS is way different from asking me my favourite characters.

When it comes to characters, I tend to be heavily analytical and critical. When it comes to media... Well, you'll see. Whatever the case please note that these pieces of media being my favourite doesn't mean I necessarily recommend them. There's things I love with my whole heart that I wouldn't inflict upon my mortal enemy. You've been warned.

I'm also purposefully omitting some of my favourite pieces of media to shine a spotlight on ones I don't really get to talk about, or just want more people to know about (sorry, Berserk)

I'll try and keep these ones spoiler free, since I'm thinking of them more as recommendations! NSFW media will be marked with a *, but I won't go into anything explicit here. Please look up media mindfully and with discression, some of these may be triggering.

Thank you for the ask and I'm sorry for the ridiculous lengths of information you're about to witness !

Dungeon Meshi

Lets start with a safe one. A simple one. An expected one.

Yes, Dungeon Meshi IS that good.

Dungeon Meshi is a beautifully drawn manga that starts out slow, whimsical and almost slice-of-life-y, and then descents into utter madness so slowly and skillfully that by the time you blink you're in another dimension.

The world building in this series is second to none - everything makes sense and nothing is handwaved. The genuine and honest passion in the way the world feels alive is palpable, and despite its realism it never loses its magical feeling.

The characters are charming, lovable, realistic, and complex. Each of them have an inner world to tap into, each of them feels like a real person you could hold a conversation with and would WANT to hold a conversation with. Here I'll also proudly announce that we get zero (0) gratuitous fanservice, zero (0) characters who exist as a punchline, and guaranteed Sexy-Lamp Free !

The plot... Fuck, man. The plot is the most honest and bare faced look at some of the most nuanced subjects in the world (desire, ambition, love, death, survival, trauma, neurodivergence) wrapped up in a way that feels simple, grounded and real.

It also sincerely began to heal my relationship with food. I don't think I've ever seen the subjects of cooking, eating, health, weight and body diversity portrayed so well in such an empathetic, understanding and caring way in any piece of media. Body positivity is not so much a focus, but rather an undercurrent in the whole manga.

Whew ! With one objectively good piece of media out of the way, let's move on to something more unhinged, such as ...

Honestly I can't begin to imagine what kind of person WOULDN'T enjoy Dungeon Meshi. Do yourself a favour and read it.

Cats (1998)

Cats. The Broadway musical cats. One of the longest running musicals in the world, award winning, famously bashed and hated, recently revorked into a horrible film that was even more bashed and hated, the beautiful, glorious wonderful disaster of my heart - Cats.

Specifically, the 1998 film version.

...It's so hard for me to explain this one.

At some point, while watching Cats for the second time (for a reason I cannot explain), some neurons fired the wrong direction in my brain and now I have a pathological obsession, to the point where I can name each and every single Godforsaken cat in this show, including the ones that don't even appear in the credits.

Cats. What am I even supposed to say here, like, genuinely. It's cats.

Well, here's the thing - the choreography and acting direction in this fucking musical is genuinely breathtaking. It takes a few watches for it to fully click, but once it does, I sincerely believe that Cats is one of the most endlessly fascinating pieces of media to analyze. What you have to understand about Cats is that every single character (with very few exceptions) is on screen basically for the entire show. And so while you're watching the dancing in the foreground (which is beautiful on its own), every single cat in the background is just ... There. Moving, interacting, portraying characteristics that are never stated, never so much as focused on - but you can see them. You can see the kittens playing with each-other, you can see the elders gossiping, you can see small bits and gags you won't catch your first time, or second, or fifth. You can see how rowdy Tumblebrutus and Pouncival are, you can see how excitable Electra is, you can see the quiet dignity of Coricopat and Tantomile, the friendship between Jellylorum and Jennyanydots. There's always new little bits of background characterisation you can catch, pretty much regardless of how many times you've seen it.

In that way, Cats is feels the most alive, the most ever changing and evolving. I'm completely enraptured by it and if you do want to watch it, I recommend watching it as many times as you can stomach, because your first time through it'll glide right off you like water off a duck.

Chainsaw Man (Public Safety Arc)*

The first time I finished reading Chainsaw Man, I stared at my phone for a straight minute, then started sobbing. The next morning, I drank alcohol for the first time.

I wish that was a joke.

I'll admit I'm not up to date on the second arc of Chainsaw Man - it honestly got away from me a little and I'm not entirely sure I'll be finishing it.

But that doesn't take away from the fact that the first arc is one of the most tightly written, beautiful, emotional stories I've ever read.

Sure, it's fun and funny. Sure, it's cool in it's action scenes. Sure, the art direction is absolutely breathtaking. Sure, the character design and worldbuilding are interesting and detailed.

But at its heart the core appeal of CSM, to me, is the way it speaks about trauma, abuse, assault, isolation, fear, and desire. Chainsaw Man is painfully down to earth in a gritty, real way, and while it is extremely dark, it's also uplifting and hopefull in a way a lot of dark media isn't.

Chainsaw Man makes you feel tiny, helpless in a massive world. Chainsaw Man puts you up against horrors both tangible and fantastical, and then it looks you in the eyes and says "Hey. You aren't weak. You aren't useless. The world is scary, the world is cruel, the world is harsh, but that doesn't mean you can't fight it. That doesn't mean there isn't hope".

I really don't know how else to describe it without going into spoilers. It's genuinely moving.

Arcane

Arcane is a beautiful tragedy that has no right being as impactful as it is for being a goddamn League of Legends adaptation, of all things.

The art direction in Arcane is absolutely insane - Taking a page from Into the SpiderVerse (which is another favourite of mine), it blends 3D animation with a 2D-esque art style and fully 2D effects to bring what I genuinely believe to be one of the best looking shows in the world to life. And that's not all !

Arcane is infinitely nuanced. Between it's multiple plots it introduces many, many characters, all of whom have their own wants, needs, goals, ambitions, fears, flaws and trauma, and it clashes them together beautifully. Nothing in Arcane feels like an afterthought to me, I think the most fantastic thing about it is how expertly it weaves all these different storylines together. Everything ties into something else, everything affects something else, the story changes based on every little movement of our main characters and by the time it unfolds you realize that there's nothing that could really be done to change it because EVERYTHING lead to this.

It's a tragedy in the best way possible.

Attack on Titan

I don't care what anyone says - Attack on Titan is one of the best Anime ever put on screen.

I am a person that grew up in a colonized, war-torn country. Part of our land is still occupied, and our occupants are currently seeking refuge in our city and acting like this is their vacation resort. My people have been marginalized, demonized, dismissed, our culture has been erased and we have been fed more propaganda than I can count.

And I say this because I think being in this situation lends me a pretty good perspective of what AoT is:

Propaganda. The first two seasons of Attack on Titan are literally an extended propaganda film, meant to trick and decieve the viewer into siding with the protagonists, and dismissing their enemies as mere monsters.

If I go any deeper into that statement, there will inevitably be spoilers, so I'll cap it off with this:

There are no easy answers in war. There are no heroes and no villains, there are no good guys and bad guys, and there are no winners. There is only deception, control, and death.

I've never seen a piece of fiction capture the true, real horror of war quite as well as Attack on Titan does.

Death Parade

Everybodyyyyyyy put your hands upppppp

Death Parade is the show I go to rewatch when I have nothing else to rewatch.

It is a soft, yet painful look at human nature. It's an exploration of what makes a person good or bad, and whether such things even exist. It brings into question the very nature of humanity, whether there's such a thing as being good or bad, whether our character is formed by our circumstances or our behaviour, and how those things should be judged. It asks what it means to have emotions, to have feelings, and how your own personal emotions and biased factor into how you assess other people - whether it's more unfair to judge someone objectively without empathy, or subjectively with your own narrow, biased worldview.

All of that wrapped in a beautiful aesthetic, and a somber, subtle love story. Not even necessarily a romantic one - just pure love.

Highly, highly recommend.

Oyasumi Punpun*

Oyasumi Punpun is the most direct, honest, unfiltered, unbiased look at a human being's psyche I've ever seen.

It's also one of the most triggering bits of media on here, so proceed with caution.

Oyasumi Punpun follows the life of a single boy from his childhood, through his adulthood. Every single hardship, every single setback, every victory, every memorable experience, is shown to us through the lense of his own eyes. His childhood innocence, his teenage cynicism, his adolescent hopelessness, his own naivete, his own trauma, his own biased colour the way we view the world around him.

It genuinely makes you feel like you are wearing his skin and living his life through him.

Its disturbing, uncomfortable, dark, scary, and it's funny, hopeful, and just plain bizarre.

Great Pretender

Alright, back to light-hearted things !!!

Great Pretender might be the funniest show I've ever seen, to me, personally. Its bright, saturated, expressive animation compliments the absolute insanity of this show perfectly.

The most basic premise is that Great Pretender is about two con artists desperately trying to out-con each-other, and then it all goes downhill from there. It sets up so much of its payoff in such tiny little ways that by the time I got to the end I'd be beating myself up for missing a completely innocuous detail like a characters fucking watch, because it was actually a hint towards the overall plotline.

Its clever, it's funny, it keeps you on your toes, and it can be genuinely heartfelt and delightfully homoerotic to boot !!

It's absolutely worth the watch. Please give us season two. Please. PLEASE.

Dark Heaven*

Dark Heaven is what I'd recommend to someone if they told me they liked reading BL.

As a gay man in an interracial relationship, I've yet to find a piece of media that is quite so open direct, brutal and honest about the kids of issues that gay people, people of color, and people in interracial relationships can face.

To that end - it's extremely triggering if you're sensitive to those particular topics, as well as some other things. I'd very much recommend looking up a list of triggers first if you want to read it because it does get very, very dark. (And very NSFW). (Right from chapter one)?

But yeah - Dark Heaven is a beautiful, engaging, and at times very fluffy and humorous romance between two men, that is heavily overlaid with real actual issues people face every day (and some people don't face every day, but are nonetheless very real). It's honest, soft, and uplifting where it needs to be, despite not sugarcoating absolutely anything. It also does us the wonderful favour of not fetishizing gay men, not playing into weird creepy stereotypes, and not turning their relationship into something to gawk at.

And now, the one, the only, the piece of media that captured my heart and soul and will never ever let go:

Warrior Cats

Fucking Warrior Cats.

I have read every single book in the series. The series with over 100 books (depending on how you count them). Every official piece of media, I have consumed.

I've been reading this book series since I was 11. I've loved, cherished, lived and breathed it. I keep up with them to this day. I recently completed a chronological re-read. I've made OCs. I've roleplayed it in person and online - in fact I've been a mod in a DeviantArt roleplay group.

I HAVE A GODDAMN EXCELL SPREADSHEET WHERE I ANALYZE THE STATISTICS OF THE WARRIOR CATS NAMING SYSTEM

"Oh wow, sounds like the series is really good" WRONG

Warrior Cats is one of the worst written series I've ever read. It's poorly paced, it's full of plotholes, most characters are pieces of cardboard with a furry coat. It's dumb, nonsensical, inconsistent, and infuriating. It preaches the worst lessons I've ever heard, it's full of nothing but wasted potential, and I could honestly count the number of books I'd consider to be genuinely good on both of my hands.

Out of a 100. I've read a fucking hundred of these. Send help.

Why do I do this to myself? Why do I read them?

Because I'm autistic and my brain is holding me hostage.

Against my better judgement, I have such a deep and genuine love for this series, for the characters, for the content mostly created by the fans, for the world building.

And every single time one of these fucking cats dies, I end up tearing up.

I love Warrior Cats and you can pry it from my cold, dead hands.

...

And that's IT !!!

Thank you again for the ask, and thanks if you read it this far !! You can really tell which ones of these I'm currently hyperfixated on haha.

Again please practice discression in looking these up - I have absolutely no triggers, and so don't think twice about consuming really dark and heavy pieces of media. This is also why I didn't just opt to put in my own trigger warnings - because I don't know everything that could be potentially triggering, and I don't want to give off the impression that you know everything you need to, in case i missed anything.

Be careful and be safe !

#dungeon meshi #cats 1998 #chainsaw man #arcane #attack on titan #death parade #oyasumi punpun #great pretender #dark heaven #warrior cats #warriors

[achillesmonochrome]

“I can bend characters to my liking, making my own versions of them where they’re more distinct and developed. I like the books more for what I want them to be than for what they are.”

I really didn’t know how to explain my love for HoO until I saw this, and honestly? Yeah, it actually makes a lot of sense.

Originally I was going to make this post a reblog, but the original poster block me, I think because they hate jasico and I talk a lot about it, and if is for that? fair.

In any case, this actually hits the spot not only for HoO, but in general.

Like, 95% of the time if I join a fandom (and by that I mean making content of it) it means I have some type of problem with the source material.

My first fandom, Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles, was because the ending was too open and I wanted the main characters to stick together. My Hero Academia was more in the desire of wanting shit to be gay, because at the time that was my only issue (now that changed but let’s not delve into that). How to train your dragon, because that last movie is trash and I’m DYING ON THAT HILL-

My whole point is: I think this break fanfics to the bare essentials, and that is: you feel something is missing from the original story.

I cannot talk for every single fanfic writer in this community, but I feel you wouldn’t be writing if you thought the story was perfect as it was and didn’t need anything else.

Sure, a lot of people write fanfic as a love letter to the source material (My style is mostly “I am adopting the kids you don’t deserve them”) it just feels you need to want something else in order to make you write.

I just accepted the fact that Heroes of Olympus (I could say riordanverse in general, but let me honest I rarely talk about TKC or the Magnus Saga, I only acknowledge ToA when is convenient to me, and rarely write or do stuff with pjo alone) is the piece of official media I love the most. 

Of the 381 stories I had written (in a lot of different accounts) 206 are pjo related. 6 of my 8 fandoms shirts are pjo ones. I still have some of my original pjo/hoo books in spanish, despite having pjo and hoo in english already, because sentimental value. Is the only fandom I had ever come back, is the fandom where I wrote my longest one shot (15k) and the one that made me able to write something novel lengthy and win nano (that fic is around 84k words, but I am still editing so is unsure what would be the final length)

Funnily, of all the fandoms I had ever been, THIS, is the one where I can pinpoint more issues. Sure, in httyd I can pick apart the last movie for days, but without that I am mostly okay. HoO? I could pick apart all five books, and still have issues with pjo. When I say “I can roast this for hours, yes I love this saga more than any other piece of media in the world” I am not joking. 

But I always wondered why that was the case; like a lot of people would hate seeing criticizing of something they love this dearly, yet I find fun in ranting about it. So despite being pro-criticizing and salt, I was always puzzle by this.

It wasn’t until I saw that comment that it suddenly made sense.

Curious fact, I was actually a mythology fan before I read pjo. My mom had tons of books, and one of them was about mythology; and I read for days the section of greek and roman gods. Not sure why, I was like 9 or 10 (maybe too young for unfiltered greek myths, but hey no one watched over me when I was a kid) and it was for that reason that when my cousin told me about the series, I accepted to read it (he recommended me a lot of shit)

My love the idea of urban fantasy, and my love for mythology works amazing for this setting. Negligent parents also helped me connect; and in one way or another, I connected so much with the HoO cast.

Like look, I loved Percy, Nico and Annabeth before HoO, I certainly loved Thalia (she has been my favourite character since book 1, literally just learning her backstory put her in that spot) yet it was after HoO that I actually became obsessed. Maybe the bigger cast helped, or hearing a voice other that Percy, but it was that.

Ultimately, as much as I love the nine, is more my idea of them that them. Like fact aside having so many protagonists is more that what RR could cope (to be fair too many protagonist or a large cast is difficult to manage to any writer), he fucks up the characterization of them constantly. Sometimes Octavian looks like he legit cares about New Rome, others he is ballocks. Nico is absolutely scared of people knowing he is gay, next book he literally confessed in an open space where anyone could hear. Hazel curses a lot in SoN, then in BoO saying “gosh darn” makes her blush. 

So is impossible to like them for how they are written without wanting to leave something behind, because shit literally gets contradicted constantly. 

Overall, the fact that they had potential is what makes this series so good for writing fanfics, you can fall in love with the characters enough while still wanting to write and talk about it.

And to be honest, I am baffled of how good it works out.

#pjo #hoo #heroes of olympus #percy jackon and the olympians #rick riordan #rr crit #I was bored #I know nobody cares #but still

[konstantya]

Frankenstein’s Meme - Day 15

(Full list of questions at the bottom, under the cut.  Previous answers can be found here.)

15.  What was the first thing you ever contributed to a fandom?

That would be a Trigun/Sandman crossover fic involving Wolfwood and Death, that I wrote/posted when I was nineteen, pfft.  (I haven’t been able to make myself cross-post it to AO3, but it can still be found on FF.net and my DW.)  It’s honestly pretty terrible, but it was my first piece of writing that wasn’t a totally self-indulgent self-insert or Mary Sue fic (and was also pretty self-contained), so I was like, “Hey!  I would actually feel comfortable sharing this with other people!”  It was a weird, one-off piece, and I wouldn’t properly get into fic-writing and online fandom until a full year later, when I started writing for--and actively engaging with--the FFVII fandom.

.

.

.

(Originally posted by trobadora, on DW.)

1. What’s changed about your fandom life in the last 365 days? 2. Your newest fandom. 3. You’ve got your OTP, you have to throw a third into the mix (from the same fandom), creating an OT3. Who is the OTP, and in your opinion, why would they make a perfect third for them? 4. What are the origins of your penname/username? 5. What’s a fandom that you wish had a bigger following? 6. What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom? What fandom was it? Not necessarily your oldest fandom, but a fandom that you started and still continue to read/write/create content for in some way. 7. What would make you leave a fandom, or prevent you from getting into it in the first place? 8. Squicks - What are some things that squick you in fandom - not necessarily “icky”, though it can be. From anything involving blood, to bad grammar. 9. What’s the hardest thing about writing, and why are titles the Worst™? 10. Do you have a fandom that you follow - either regularly or casually - with little to no knowledge of canon? 11. Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed. 12. A ship you have never liked and probably never will. 13. Do you prefer art, fic, or vids? Why? Bonus: If someone was to give you a fandom gift, what format would it be? 14. A pairing – platonic, romantic or sexual – that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind. 15. What was the first thing you ever contributed to a fandom? 16. Do you remember your first OTP? Who was in it? 17. What is your favourite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)? 18. How many fandoms have you written for? How many have you been in, and how many are you still in? 19. Has social media caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why? 20. What fandom broke your heart? 21. Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you dislike or even loathe.) 22. Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend. 23. Your rarest fandoms. 24. A fandom you’ve abandoned and why. 25. Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? 26. A trope which you are virtually certain to love in any fandom. 27. A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom. 28. How did you first get into fanfic, and what was the first fandom you wrote fic for? 29. Have you ever tried to write for a fandom or ship, and found you couldn’t? 30. Name three things you wish you saw more of in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

#personal #meme #frankenstein's meme #fanfiction #trigun #the sandman #(yes we're talking about the neil gaiman comic here) #i'm not directly linking to it because even though i feel it's important to leave it up for posterity in some respect #it's also legit pretty bad so i'm not going to go out of my way to help y'all read it lololol

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #462

i am way too tired to mentally flip through lyrics to put here, rip

Who in your family has been married the longest? (and how long?) I have zero idea. When did you last travel alone? Where were you going? The last time I visited Sara in Illinois. Do you take your shoes off when you come inside? Yes. What was the first color you ever dyed your hair? I think I got purple highlights? What was the first social media site you ever used? MySpace. Do you have any exes you really regret dating? One. Of all your friends & family, who has the most nicely-decorated home? Sara's house is lovely. Have you ever been catcalled? No. Are you allergic to any dogs? I might be. Have you ever touched a plant and had hives shoot up your arm? No. Do you think dragonflies are cool? Absolutely! What’s your favorite thing to draw? Meerkats!! Did you toss your hat in the air at graduation? Not high. I wanted to keep it. Do you like fudge? I CAN FUCKING DESTROY SOME FUDGE. Are you an affectionate person? Very. Name something you have to do today: Girt and I are hangin', making fun of bad Netflix anime and going to Buffalo Wild Wings. :^) Would you ever write to a death row inmate? No. People don't get on death row for no reason. I ain't got shit to say to them. Do you reckon online friendships are real? No fucking shit. Most of my most genuine friendships began online. Do you like Slipknot? Yep. Can we talk about how fuckin BADASS Corey's new mask is btw?????????? What do you think of Gorillaz? I like "Feel Good Inc." and one other song I can't remember the name of. Bow ties on guys, dorky or adorable? BOTH!!!!! :') What is the cutest Halloween costume for a baby to wear? GUYS I recently saw a picture of a little baby dressed up as a Little Oogie Boogie and it made my ovaries cry. Which of your friends is the tallest? Which of them is the shortest? Jesus, Girt is a giant. I don't know about my shortest... If you could re-paint your bedroom, what color would you choose? Pastel pink. :') What has been the best night of your life so far? Why? Probably something sexual so let's keep it on the down low lmfaooo Would you ever even think about taking part in a wet t-shirt contest? Uh, no. Even if I WAS confident in my body. Is you hair color the same as it was when you were a baby? No. It was dirty blonde. Have you ever been in trouble for being too loud? Ha, yeah, at school with friends. Not big trouble or anything, we were just hushed. Did you ever attend a wedding that was a complete disaster? No. What is something that you were surprised you were able to do? Hm. What is the most bullshit-sounding true fact that you know? Male cats have spiked penises lkasdjfal;kje;kjwr it's something to do with preventing other tomcats from mating with her. What Oreo flavor is your favorite? Gimme that Double Stuffed, friend. Sour gummy worms or plain gummy worms? SOUR. Ever been in a talent show? How many times? What did you do? Nope. Ever try out for the talent show and not make it? Did you cry? Nope. What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever cried about? Y'all when I was a very little kid, during my older sister's b-day party, I sobbed because I couldn't pin the tail properly on the donkey lmaoooo How do you feel about the use of nuclear weapons? Absolutely fucking barbaric. What song has the most meaning to you? "Life Won't Wait" by Ozzy Osbourne. What is your favourite dinosaur? Spinosaurus!!!! :') Have you ever made bread? No. Has anything ever fallen asleep on you? Pets, a baby I was watching after, and Jason. Ever been dominated in a game you were/are really good at? yep alskdjfla;jwej Have you ever decided to set fire to something out of anger? No. Would you rather be a house pet or a wild animal? Wild animal, I guess? Have you ever listened to a group of chanting monks? I haven't. If you had to get a portrait tattoo, who would it be of? Probably of Teddy. I've still yet to decide on the total design of his tribute tat I'm getting. Do you like the smell of men’s colognes better than woman’s perfumes? I think so, yeah. How mad would you be if someone copied your original work (story, poem)? I'd be pretty fuckin pissed. Have you ever blown something up in science class? Ha, no. Have you ever gotten a serious wound from shaving? Not serious, no. Have you invented anything, only to find out it actually exists? I feel like I have? Ever realize you never truly LOVED your first love? Absolutely not. I loved him. Would you want a Bachelor/Bachelorette party before you get married? Sure, sounds fun. Do you prefer pads, tampons or something else? As of very recently, I returned to using pads. I used tampons for most of my maturity, but I got annoyed with them for TMI reasons and resorted back to pads, even though I don't like them either. Have you ever dated a model? No. What is your ultimate goal in life? To die happy with my life and what I (hopefully) accomplished. What colour are the socks you’re wearing today? I’m not wearing any. Who was the last person you sent a Facebook message to and what did you say? Girt. It was something regarding how I once considered doing the suicide mission at BWW where you eat a select number of their hottest wings, but I didn't wanna die via chicken. :^) Are you tall, short or average? Would you change this? I'm average in height. I wouldn't change it, nah. Especially now that Girt and I are together the ridiculous height difference is hilarious but also cute lmao. Have you ever worked in a store while someone shoplifted there? Like, while I was there? No. Have you ever had casual sex? Nahhhh. What’s your favourite flavour of frosting? Chocolate. @_@ When you think of your childhood, are the memories mostly happy or sad? Mostly happy, I guess. What is it like being you? Is it enjoyable? It's very boring with few sources of joy. What are your thoughts on the cause of homosexuality? I would *assume* it's a genetic mutation. Reason being, having a romantic partnership without the ability to reproduce defies the motives of science. There is nothing, absolutely NOTHING, wrong with said (and hypothetical) genetic mutation, though. Mutations are just another part of science. They occur naturally. What subjects did you find most interesting in school? Least? Most interesting: literature/English (especially reading like, old mythology and epics and stuff like that), LOTS of branches of science (but primarily genetics), art, and I looooved my four semesters of German. Least: ANY and ALL math, history, economics, social studies... that kind of stuff. Which do you enjoy more–hot or cold beverages? Cold, for sure. What were some of your favorite bands from childhood? Green Day was one. Would you be more afraid of drowning or being buried alive? Buried alive, for sure. It would be much, much slower. Should you really be doing something more productive right now? Well, I SHOULD be sleeping. Today's going to be a long day, because when Girt comes over, he has a tendency to not leave until like fuckin midnight or later alksdjfl;waje Have you ever lived out of your car? No. Does your family own more than two houses? HUNNY we r poor. A relative just committed a very serious crime, do you turn them in? It depends on the exact crime, but odds are, yes. If you're endangering others, byyyyeeee. You’re in the woods, alone, at night…are you honestly not afraid? Bitch I'm terrified. I have zero survival skills. You are on life support, what would you want a loved one to do about it? For the love of god, please kill me. Your child has only a while to live, do you still enroll them in school? That would be up to them. Also, define "a while." How would you feel if you met your idol and they ended up being rude? WELP I have a tattoo in his honor so that would suck ass lmao According to the tale, was Eve wrong for eating and sharing the apple? "God was wrong for even setting up an apple tree and making up rules in the first place." <<<< There ya go. And the punishment was fucking ludicrously extreme. Are you working on any goals? Yes. I'm currently going to the gym regularly to try and better my physical health and then find a job. I know that being connected sounds odd, but trust me: I can barely carry out very simple tasks just because I have absolutely ZERO stamina to do almost anything. I need energy and endurance. I'm also working towards developing some self-love. Which parent named you? I wanna say my mom. Are you currently frustrated with someone? I mean, myself. Aforementioned self-love is hard. I'm just annoyed my head is so reluctant to accept that I'm not a piece of shit for a million reasons. Why have most of your past relationships ended? They all ended for different reasons, really. Are you having any online conversations, currently? I'm not. What’s on your mind? I'm just tired and going back to bed real soon. Have you ever had an argument with a teacher? No.

#survey #surveys #random questions

[venetum]

Monachopsis - one

read on ao3a peter parker x harley keener fanfic

read on ao3

Peter was in the middle of his weekly Skype calls with Ned when Tony called him. Things had been a little bit difficult for the two boys since they’d gone their separate ways for college, with Peter deciding to stay in New York and go to Columbia in order to continue to be Spider-Man while Ned accepted his offer from MIT. But they’d persevered—setting up a time for at least one Skype call every week and texting back and forth as much as their busy schedules would allow them—and their relationship remained as strong as ever even three years later.

To be completely honest, Peter’s relationships with his friends from high school hadn’t really been affected by their moves to college, nor by the distance. If anything, it was the friend who lived closest to him that Peter had somehow lost. Peter Parker and Harley Keener Stark had been attached at the hip almost as soon as Tony had introduced Peter to his son, a few months after Tony had first approached Peter about Spider-Man. With Harley only a year older than him and enrolled at his school, the boys had gotten along even better than Tony had initially hoped they would. Well, until Harley left for university, that is. He’d chosen to remain in the city, but had vehemently denied Pepper and Tony’s offer for him to continue living at the tower, insisting on living in his own apartment by the university instead. That was when things had started going downhill for the two of them, with Harley absorbed so completely in the attention he was getting at college that he was too busy to even give Peter a second thought.

Not that Peter still cared about him. He’d had plenty of time in the past three years to rid himself of any feelings he’d once harboured for the blue-eyed boy. Platonic or otherwise.

So there Peter sat, fiddling with the latest version of his web-shooters at his desk as Ned rambled on about the project he was currently working on, blissfully unaware of the storm that was about to wreak havoc on his entire life.

And then his phone rang.

“Sorry, Ned, hold on one second,” Peter told his best friend, already reaching out to grab his phone as Tony’s own unique ringtone filled the room.

Ned only nodded, having been around Peter long enough to recognise who was calling.

“Hey, Tony! Everything okay?” Peter answered the call.

“Do I need a reason to call my favourite son?” Tony wondered, sounding mildly offended.

Peter rolled his eyes, laughing. “No, I suppose you don’t. So, how was the meeting with the board? They give you the go-ahead to finally retire, old man?”

“Something like that,” Tony sighed. “That’s actually what I’m calling about. Can you drop by the tower in an hour?”

“Yeah, of course. I’ll see you there.”

“See you, Pete.”

Peter hung up and bit his lip, wondering what exactly the board had done this time to put his mentor in such a strange mood.

“Everything okay?” Ned’s voice filtered through the speakers of Peter’s laptop, drawing his attention back to his best friend.

Peter shook his head, “Yeah, everything’s fine. So tell me more about this code you’re writing.”

_____

Harley blinked blearily up at his parents, wondering idly if he had drunk enough the night before to be currently hallucinating to the extent he was sure he was.

“I’m sorry, you want me to what?”

“Date Peter Parker.” His father—Tony—helpfully supplied.

“Absolutely not.” Harley snapped, folding his arms over his chest in defiance.

He saw his mother’s lips twitch up into a small smile, surely reminiscent of the many tantrums Harley had thrown that had left him sitting in this exact position.

“Harley,” Pepper began gently, taking a seat next to her son. “We need you to listen to us right now. The board does not want you to take over from us once we retire, partially because they think you’re too young and partially because of your reputation in the press. They don’t want to have to deal with a CEO whose messes they’ll constantly have to clean up and honestly? Your father and I agree.”

Harley rolled his eyes, his gaze flickering between his parents.

“I don’t see what any of this has to do with me dating Peter. Besides, Tony did way worse when he was my age.”

“Do not compare yourself to me, Harley.” Tony snapped, “You were meant to be better than that. Better than me. And we both know the board won’t take this shit from you because they took enough of it from me. Peter, on the other hand, doesn’t have anything the board would object to at all. He deserves better than having to be dragged into this mess, but we don’t really have many options so I suggest you get your act together before Peter gets here and listen to us, or you’re going to have to kiss this legacy goodbye!”

Harley’s hands curled into fists at his sides, the blood rising to his face as Tony completed his rant. Of course, he fumed, of course Peter’s pristine reputation will be swooping in to save the day.

“Why don’t you just make Peter your precious CEO then?” Harley retorted, ignoring the dull pain that had begun to throb in his chest at the thought that his parents might actually prefer the younger boy to him. God, he needed a drink.

“He doesn’t want the job, Harley.” Pepper sighed. “You and I both know you’d be perfect for the job if you tried. So, if this is what you want then that’s exactly what we need you to do—try.”

“He despises me,” Harley pointed out in a last-ditch attempt to stop the ridiculous plan his parents had come up with to please the board. “And even if he didn’t, I don’t date.”

“We’re not asking you to fall in love with him, Harley.” Pepper laid a hand on her son’s shoulder. “Just… pretend for a few months, okay? Go on public dates, be seen holding hands by the press, do whatever you need to do to convince the media and the board that you’re turning over a new leaf and maturing enough that they can trust you to lead a company.”

“This is ridiculous.” Harley pointed out once more. But as ridiculous as the plan was, following in his mother’s footsteps and inheriting the company from his parents had been his dream since he was thirteen years old and had moved in with the pair. He would do it, for them. For the dreams he used to have. “Has Peter even agreed to this yet?”

Tony smiled triumphantly, knowing they had worn him down. “He should be here any minute now, we figured it would probably be best to run things by you first and get any drama out of the way before he gets here.”

Harley ran a hand through his hair, the urge to walk over to the bottles on the other end of the room and pour himself a drink intensifying at the thought of having to face Peter Parker again in such a close setting. “Great.”

“So, you’ll do it?” Pepper raised her eyebrows, wanting to get a clear answer out of her son before Peter arrived.

“If he agrees, sure. Why the hell not?” Harley shrugged, trying his best to appear nonchalant. After all, what were the odds that Parker would actually agree to fake-date him, anyway?

Well, it turned out that the answer to Harley’s question was way higher than he’d anticipated.

______

Peter sat silently across from Tony and Pepper as they explained their situation with the board to him, forcing his gaze to remain on the couple instead of allowing it to drift to where it actually wanted to go—to observe the slightly rumpled boy who was the main reason Peter had to be at the tower today.

“Sure,” Peter finally responded, a few moments after the two had stopped talking. “I know how important it is to the two of you to leave S.I. in good hands, and you’ve been planning your retirement for years. I’m down to help in any way I can.”

The boy sat next to him scoffed quietly at his comment, cursing under his breath and shuffling in his seat so that he too was facing his parents. Pepper beamed at Peter, her smile closely mirroring the one plastered on Tony’s face once the pair realised that Peter was, in fact, serious.

“Alright, then. Let’s work out some of the specifics, first.” Pepper pulled her StarkPad over to her and began typing. “We’ll want the two of you to start as soon as possible, of course, so that you have enough time to make the relationship look serious before the break-up.”

Peter simply nodded, his mind still reeling at the fact that this was actually happening. He was going to date Harley. Harley who he hadn’t spoken to properly in three years, Harley who had been the person Peter relied on most in the world, until suddenly, he wasn’t anymore. He wondered idly if maybe he should’ve taken some time to actually think about this decision first.

But, no. He knew Pepper and Tony would only be asking this of him if they had no other options left. This was the right thing to do. He just hoped that his heart would survive the process.

“When exactly will that be? The break-up, I mean.” Harley finally spoke up from next to him, breaking Peter out of his thoughts.

“Around when you graduate, probably. Preferably after the board offers you the job.” Pepper responded, the pace of her keystrokes increasing as she jotted down her thoughts.

“Which gives you approximately nine months to prove to press that you’re madly in love.” Tony provided rather helpfully. “Piece of cake.”

“So you say,” Harley huffed.

Peter resisted the urge to sigh. He could already tell that he was in for the longest three months of his life.

“Alright, so we should probably go over some basic rules while we’re all here. Firstly no one outside of this family can know that the two of you aren’t actually together.” Pepper began. Peter opened his mouth to interject, only to be cut off by Tony.

“Yes, that includes Ned and MJ, Peter.”

“Secondly, we need the two of you to not be involved with anybody else during the course of this relationship because we absolutely cannot risk providing the tabloids with an even bigger scandal.”

“You have got to be kidding me!” Harley exclaimed. “You might as well send me away to be a fucking monk while you’re at it.”

Tony snorted, “Cut the shit, kid. Not fucking around for nine months isn’t going to kill you.”

Peter’s glancer flickered between his mentor and Harley, his enhanced hearing allowing him to notice the increase in Harley’s heartbeat at the comment, his anger and embarrassment coming off of him in waves.

“Is there anything else?” Peter asked Pepper, desperately trying to redirect the conversation before Harley exploded.

“Not that I can think of at the moment. Just make sure to keep your public appearances constant and keep your social media accounts updated. I’ll let you know if we remember anything else.” Peter nodded, rising from his seat on the couch with Harley. The two boys made their way towards the door, Peter wanting desperately to escape before the situation got any more awkward.

“And, Pete?” Tony called to him just as he was leaving. Peter turned back to look at his mentor. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, Tony.” Peter smiled at him, giving him a quick thumbs-up before he left the study.

The two exited the room in silence, making their way to the elevator that would take them down to their respective modes of transport.

“So…” Peter began, shoving his hand through his hair as he tried to figure out what to say. “That was something.”

Harley grunted in response, keeping his eyes trained on the closed elevator doors. Stifling a sigh, Peter cursed the elevators at Stark Tower for taking what felt like eons to come get them when they were usually as prompt as ever.

“Look Parker, we don’t need to act like we like each other when there isn’t anyone else around. I’m doing this for Pepper and Tony, and for the company, and you’re doing this because Tony could ask you to jump off a bridge and you do that blindly.” Harley scoffed, “Let’s just get through these nine months and not kill each other, yeah?”

Peter narrowed his eyes at Harley, his heart aching slightly at how alien the man before him now was compared to the teenager he once knew.

“There was a time when you felt the same way about Tony,” Peter commented idly, breathing a sigh of relief as the elevator doors slid open.

“Don’t ever doubt my loyalty to this family,” Harley snapped at him, practically stomping into the elevator. “Don’t act like you know me, Parker. You don’t. Not anymore.”

Peter took a step back, not quite knowing how to respond. The elevator doors slid shut, sealing Harley inside. Peter sighed. Harley was right, after all. Peter certainly didn’t know the man that Harley had turned into, but he was beginning to doubt whether he’d ever really known Harley at all.

(A/N: Let me know your thoughts on this chapter!! And shoot me a message to be added to the taglist for this fic. I know its been aaages since I posted but I have more time, and I intend to finish this for sure.)

Tags: @livinglife1516​  @philipshaaayyyy​  @maywildflowers​ @carttorchdeatth​  @parkneroses​ @mauverawrites​ 

#m writes #parkner #parkner fanfiction #parkner fake dating au #peter parker #harley keener #Peter Parker x Harley Keener #tony stark #ironfam #irondad #iron man

[dyingunknown-blog]

BEGINNINGS + GENDER

As said in the introduction: this is a selfish blog where I rant about myself and my feelings. Here goes my first ramble. Within this ramble contains bits of: gender, femininity,  sexuality and eating disorders. Y’know, the usual mix of edgy Tumblr content. I am posting this in celebration of Pride Month (!!! YAY!!! I HONESTLY LOVE PRIDE MONTH) but also because I’ve had this build up in my heart for too long. 

A NOTE BEFORE I BEGIN...

I know you (reader) cannot hear me doing this, so imagine me (author) taking a deep breath, filling my semi spacious lungs, and releasing all that pent up air with a heavy sigh. 

Here we fucking go. Here’s to tip of the iceberg, from 4 years of pent up gay shit to recent moments of gentle gender dysmorphia. Do not expect my writing to be fully coherent, nor written in the best grammar. I am writing for my own therapeutic needs, because I gotta get some of this energy released and I have nowhere else to dump this. This piece is a full on rant, as in I literally wrote this angrily tapping away at 2-4 am. However, I’d like to mention that I mean no offence to any parties, and simply want to vent out some of the deep thoughts I’ve been pacing around for the past few years. Feel free to send me a message regarding your personal feelings, or to just chat. I’m always here as a friend and listener <3 

WHERE IT ALL BEGAN...

I think I owe myself and you (reader) an explanation on where things began to really start. The main “spark” that got me going and prompted me to start this blog was when I found myself unable to stop playing songs by Dorian Electra. Actually-- to be honest-- it was the music videos that really got me going. The glorious explosion of just “QUEER” screaming and banging its head at my 13 inch Mac Book Pro got me extremely inspired to actually do something about the gross reactions of confusion that were occurring in my brain and body. As Dorian Electra put it, “You know I’m not straight, but I’m gonna give it straight to you.” So here’s my best shot at “giving it straight.” 

By the way... I’m from a fairly traditional family with high hopes for me, so the most freedom I can really grasp onto is starting an anonymous Tumblr blog at 2 am laying naked with just my underwear on. 

PERSONAL TOPIC 1: GENDER...

So here’s the thing, I stick to my biological birth gender like it’s my lifeline-- my comfort zone-- I guess, if anything. I personally feel like gender and sexuality have their own little symbiotic (or perhaps parasitic???) relationship, where one’s gender impacts their sexuality-- but I can also accept that my understanding is probably not politically correct. I can say, however, with a heavy heart: 

I am utterly fucked when I think about my gender and sexuality. 

I’ll take it easy first and rope down my feelings towards my gender and its definition. I jokingly scream in the halls that gender is a social construct, but let’s be honest-- is it not?  Other than our dongle-longs and hoochie-has, what makes a woman different from a man? I mean maybe it is just the sausage and the grapefruit, but I’d like to argue that... Just kidding, the more I think about it the more I fall into a rabbit hole where I can’t figure out what a male is and what a female is. I mean what are they? Is it based off of the definition I provide for myself, or what society conveniently slams into my face? Is the LGBTQ+ community the people who get to decide or is it the Westboro Baptist Church??? 

Note: these are not a rhetorical question, please answer this to your opinion because I’m in desperate need of some kind of direction beyond biology. I accept all ideologies and concepts. I’m just hella confused. 

Ehem.

Anyways, my own battle with gender goes beyond not knowing where the “line” is, or if it even exists (again, I’m still not sure if this is a personal question or something based on society...) It also goes into where I stand on this polarised scale. See-- I have a bean, a hole, and melons. Alas, in slightly more proper terms, I have a clitoris, vagina and breasts. So what does that mean for me? Am I automatically a woman? For the first 17 years of my life, I would respond to that question with a VERY confident nod. Pink was once my favourite colour, I like boys, dresses, cute animals and romcoms. My physical body only went to assure what I already knew. Now? I’m not so sure. As it is more acceptable nowadays to be “queer,” I’ve slid into the an identity crisis where I realise I’ve never revelled in the fact that I had tiddies, nor felt comfortable about having a coochie. I used to blame my confusion regarding my comfort in my biological gender on the growing queer influences in my life-- after all, everyone wants to be special and sometimes being apart of the LGBTQ+ community is the best way to stand out, especially when it’s being shoved in your face with media. Everyone who comes out of the closet is faced with incredible amounts of love and attention, and my younger self thought “maybe I should get on the boat” hence, labelling myself as bisexual for the longest time without truly feeling like I am (until in recent years.)  I blamed my confusion in identity and sexuality on the attention whore who lived inside of my heart. My feelings were only justified as true this year, when I found myself staring at myself in the mirror and couldn’t help but to feel unhappy with what I presented myself with. Undies clad with a slightly cropped black muscle tank, I could see the linings of a “V” line on my lower abdomen and felt kinda hot about it. I did the annoying fuckboy pose (you know, the one where the guy is biting his shirt to reveal his oh-so-humble six pack) and found it... kinda fun? I did have a 36D underboob flail around, but my focus was more on my bottom half, with my Victoria Secret blue lace underwear and masculine illusion.  It wasn’t like a grand glorious moment, nor was it like I was the tomboy of the house and everyone just “knew” and I only had to convince myself. Instead, it was an anti-climatic moment where I realised “fuck, I have another problem on my hands that I can’t ignore anymore.” 

I don’t know if I truly identify as female or male. Honestly, I don’t really think I need to identify myself, but that’s the 30% of my consciousness who is super queer, chill and cool. See, the other 70% of my mind is going in a frenzy screaming, because I just lost one of my key defining attributes. Think that episode of Spongebob, where Spongebob’s brain cells are screaming and throwing papers around the office setting of his brain.

Another question has also become increasingly relevant in my journey of finding my “true inner zen self.” 

Who am I choosing my gender for?

In 2018, and most of the years before, I adored being loved by boys and having guys waggle their dicks like dog tails for my tits and ass, but in 2019, I randomly figured out that I never liked my boobs for anything but that. I mean having an hourglass figure was always (and still is) a goal of mine, but I question for what reason. I’d like to say it’s for personal aesthetic appeal, but it wouldn’t be surprising to me if I just do it so people will like me more. In fact, I battled with bulimia for the very reason of: I don’t know what the fuck I want or like, but  the crowd likes “skinny thick” girls so lets do that by purging. Am I currently wearing a waist trainer and corset on top of each other because I like the outcome, or because the people around me like me more for it? I’m trying really hard not to segue into the alluring topic of toxic femininity, because I can rant for HOURS AND PAGES about that, so I’ll just say: I don’t know if I’m being a girl for myself or because I’ll be more liked for it. 

In all honesty, the truth regarding my gender became clearer the more I self conscious I became. In 2018, I fell into the trap of sending boys nudes (apologies for the TMI and sorry family if you somehow came across my blog and are currently reading this.)  I liked it for a millisecond. Why? Because it felt good to have someone desperate for me. That millisecond died off real fast. My own thoughts pooped my nude Alpha Female party with insecurity and fear of how my body compares to other girls my age. Three days after the first nude I sent I realised I hate my body. I felt empowered in the moment (honestly I do love the feeling of tease. I still do send ohohoho raunchy pics for the pure euphoria of just having someone crave me) but overall just left the experience with lingering guilt and self hatred. I wasn’t sure if I was doing this to please myself or others. I also abhor taking nudes, because I do not think I embody femininity and dislike my body for that very reason. Identifying as male makes me far more comfortable than as identifying as a female. I might have tits, I might have soft facial features, but I just don’t like how I mentally feel like I can’t compare to the unrealistic standard of femininity that women uphold. I spent my whole life trying to  tick the boxes under “female,” but always felt like I was just doing the bare minimum... Hence my past is full of desperation, the need to show skin for the sake of proving I’m “sexy” and being perfectly fine with getting mislabeled as a slut at school. Nowadays, I show skin because I’m comfortable and am learning to love my body. I am not okay with slut shaming in general, but I am most definitely not okay with being called a slut either because I’m still a fucking virgin. So hun, I really do wish I could call myself a slut and have that much game, but I’m very far from that.

Anyways, uh more on my gender crisis:  I’ve also always adored mens fashion and absolutely revel the aura of being the “alpha.” Ever since my middle school days, I’d secretly snoop around and envy the men’s section of Barney’s and Saks, because it just looks so damn cool. Excuse my lack of “high quality language,” I can hear my English teacher sighing about my lack of “professional” or “appropriate” language, but I really can’t express my feelings regarding mens fashion other than it’s fucking cool. I must say though, my style of clothing and expression of self doesn’t stop itself at mens fashion. In fact, I enjoy dressing to exhort a more dominant presence, whether it’s with a short denim skirt and tight crop top or a loose fitting silk blouse and skinny jeans with a belt. So I guess in a way, my fashion and what I feel comfortable in explains my gender for me. A little bit of both and a little bit of neither. Although the next step would definitely be playing around with my hair and piercing, but I think my traditional family would whoop my ass to the moon if I do it now, and I can’t say I’m not scared of regrets. I just want to discover myself a little more this year...

Regardless, I just wanna further clarify that I don’t feel comfortable being put as female, male or hell-- even androgynous.

And I gotta say, after holding this in and denying it for 4 years, it feels damn good to type it out and admit it.

 In deciding to be a “gender”, there are standards. Deciding to be anything comes with the price of standards. I just can’t personally handle not being able to fit into the standards there are for them... Especially now since people are so bothered on being politically correct, so if I’m “not being properly androgynous” or “not properly female,” I’ll get shit on, and if I’m not accepted by the mass majority, I’ll feel societal hate mixed with self hatred. 

I also want to say that sometimes I don’t feel like I have the right to be confused or declare a gender because I’ve been on the judgemental side before. 

In middle school one of my close friends moved away, and soon later began to label themselves as gender fluid. It was such a new concept that I initially thought that they were doing it as a publicity stunt, but slowly realised that it is indeed who they are. I wasn’t hateful, but I can’t say I’m innocent, even if it was when I was far younger and less understanding. I remember when they first started using their current pronouns, I was confused on how to utilise them and initially disregarded them. Today, I regret my ignorance. Misgendering can always be a mistake, but it can also be extremely spoiled, belittling and condescending. So even though I know someone that probably went through a similar journey as I am today, I feel guilty asking them about it because of the shit I gave them when I was 14.

 Additionally, I’m scared of being wrong about myself. I can’t describe it too well, but I’m just scared that I’ll slip up a wrong opinion and then be automatically thrown into the can of “special snowflake wannabe LGBTQ+” when in reality: I truly feel like I’m not of “cisgender” or anything normal. I don’t want to dip too deep into my history with crippling anxiety and experiences with depression, but I will say that I can’t help but to hate myself for being queer too.. Alas, I’ll have to learn how to get over that and continue loving myself, but what the hell am I going to do now? 2k words later and things aren’t exactly clearer, but I can (somewhat) confidently say that I know what I’ll do (for now.) 

As of today, June 17, 2019, I have decided to not give a fuck and to simply just identify with the LGBTQ+ community. I don’t feel comfortable identifying as male, female, neither, both, gender fluid, or anything else. I will simply put off gender and let people call me by whatever pronoun they want.

I just wanna be me. 

Until I find out something else, or become more comfortable with myself, or gather the confidence to “come out of the closet” and stop being so selfish and finally decide what the hell I am, it’ll probably just be like this for awhile.

And honestly? I think I’m okay with that.

#rant #personal #LGBTQ+ #Pride #gender dysmorphia #confusion #ramblings #millennial problems #depression #anxiety #gender #genderfluid #unbiased #female #male #love yourself #self love #androgynous #androgyny #amateur writing

[tigerlover16-uk]

Anime I need to watch (July 2017 update)

What do you know, I’m on time with one of these things? Been a pretty good month for me and I’ve got plenty to talk about, so see you after the cut.

I started the month off watching another arc of Yu Yu Hakusho. I thought about watching the show as a whole, but I decided to wait on the Three Kings arc for another month since I heard it’s a fairly lackluster one. So I just watched to the end of the Chapter Black Saga.

It wasn’t as good as the Dark Tournament Saga. It was... good, but I have a hard time calling it great, though it certainly had ambition. It starts off really well, the first few episodes were great, Kurama in particular got one of his best showings, but the actual main plot felt a bit meh in places.

I don’t really know how to describe it, there weren’t a ton of flaws to the story, but personally I just had a hard time getting invested and at times I just found myself tapping the side of my laptop wondering how long things were going to go on for. But the actual content of the story was fine. The world building was good, the action was... mostly good, outside of a few mediocre brawls. The side villains were entertaining, though the newly powered teens Genkai recruited (I can’t remember any of their names because they didn’t interest me) felt largely pointless and boring after their initial introduction. I really didn’t care about their send off at the end. And the main characters all got some pretty good moments, even Koenma got some great ones. And there was plenty of tension to the story.

And yet, while I enjoyed the saga for the most part... at times it felt kind of like a drag.

Maybe it’s just that the Dark Tournament Saga was so great before it that everything here just didn’t measure up. The villain was definitely a downgrade. Sensui has an interesting thing going for him, being the previous spirit detective who went rogue and his weird views on morality. But he felt extremely meh as a villain, bordering on boring. The thing about him having multiple personality disorder felt too sudden and, kind of pointless overall (and feeding into the media’s problem of demonising the mentally ill, thank you very much), and his personality wasn’t all that entertaining. He just felt like kind of a mixed bag of a character that fell short of being excellent.

I had other issues, like Yusuke being descended from demons came pretty much out of nowhere and was a blatant plot convenience that made the climax a bit unsatisfying. But I think the thing that put me off this saga a bit was just how incredibly serious and dark things were throughout. Yeah I know, that’s kind of the point and it fits for this show, but when things are constantly tense and grim with very little levity here and there to ease the tension, I tend to get bored and anxious more than entertained. So that’s probably more of a me thing, but I don’t get this feeling with most other anime I watch like Dragon Ball Z. I didn’t get it with the first season of Yu Yu Hakusho. The Dark Tournament saga dragged on a bit, but that felt more like because of how long the story was more than anything, and I still thoroughly enjoyed it. The chapter Black Saga... this is the only arc I overall liked from a show I’m a fan of that felt like a chore to get through.

I suppose that says more about me though and what I want from my shows than it does about the saga. Apart from the issues I mentioned and some others, there’s not a lot that’s objectively wrong with the arc. It was good.

Onto something lighter, One Punch Man is great. Yeah after watching that story, I decided to watch something more light hearted, and I wanted to watch a short series that wouldn’t take long to get through, like a  lot of the long running shows I’ve been starting. And I had started watching it before, so why not?

There’s not a lot I can say about the show that others haven’t already said, so I’ll just say it was a blast. Saitama and Genos are fun and likeable characters with endearing personalities, the humour and casual tone of the series are fantastic, the animation is stunning, especially in the action scenes, and the supporting characters are fun to watch too. It’s a really charming show that’s just fun to watch and easy to get invested in, and even has some genuinely touching moments surprisingly.

I don’t think it’s the best thing ever like some people do though. For one thing... IT’S WAY TOO SHORT. Seriously, the twelve episodes we have are great, but it feels like it ends right as the story is starting to pick up. There’s really not a lot of tension to be had because of Saitama’s strength, and while the execution of the show and how Saitama’s handled make that a minor issue, it does feel disappointing that all but one of the villains goes down incredibly easily and get killed off, so there’s no chance to build a cool rogues gallery. Oh, and Puri-Puri-Purisoner is one of the worst, most uncomfortable gay stereotypes I’ve seen in a while, so that definitely knocks a few points off the show.

Still, there’s nothing majorly wrong with the show and it was a good time to watch. I just wish Madhouse would hurry up with season 2, if that ever happens.

Next up is a bit of an odd one for me, Tenchi Muyo!. I usually stay clear away from Harem anime for many reasons. Most of them are boringly formulaic and have annoying clichés (especially thanks to love Hina), the premises are often dull, and a lot of them feel like they care more about fanservice and accidental pervert comedy than good storytelling or characters. Which is what I care about watching, I really don’t care that much about fanservice in my shows (One reason I hesitate to start Kill La Kill).

But I did remember watching something Tenchi related as a kid and I think I enjoyed it, so I figured in this case it was worth checking out, so I looked up the original OVA series and watched the first two seasons of that (I hear season 3 was terrible, so I’m a bit hesitant to get into that). Soon after I started watching, I came to a realization that what I had actually seen as a kid was the tv series Tenchi Universe. Come back next month to see what I felt about that, but I decided to keep watching the OVA’s anyway for the sake of it.

The story is kind of a mess. Tenchi feels like almost a completely different character in the first episode compared to the rest of the series for one thing, there are a number of noticeable plot holes and conveniences, and there are some weird writing choices here and there. Like everything to do with Sasami in episode 9, that was weird and awkwardly handled and felt really pointless as a shoehorned excuse for drama, and I don’t really want to go further into it because that would take all day. And while I like Ayeka, I can NOT get over the thing about her being Tenchi’s great aunt and yet wanting to be romantically involved with him, and having wanted to marry her half brother. No I don’t care that she’s an alien with much different cultural beliefs and practises on this stuff, to me that’s still squicky as all heck!! And while the fanservice surprisingly never feels forced and is better handled than in many other series I can think of, I could have still really done without it.

Honestly it wasn’t very good at all as a story... but it kinda makes up for that with it’s characters. Tenchi may be a bit dull if still likeable, but all the girls in this show are really fun and endearing characters that I enjoyed watching, even in spite of some weird moments. The comedy was really good too, there were some stupid jokes and stuff that just really wasn’t funny, but I laughed more watching these two seasons than I have with a lot of other shows I’ve seen in a while. For all the awkward writing problems, it was fun just to sit back and see this colourful cast of characters just be themselves. Which is why I probably liked season 2 better. The main villain of the first season was underdeveloped and nothing special, but he was pretty cool and enjoyable to watch anyway, so props there too.

Tenchi Muyo! is a HUGE mixed bag of a show, and I don’t know if I’d recommend it to people. But I enjoyed it. It’s flawed and not great, but I do have a bit of a fondness for it, so I’ll definitely check out the Tenchi Universe tv series to see what that’s like. Not sure whether I’ll see anything else from the franchise though.

And rounding thing up, I recently bought two DVD sets for One Piece, so I've been watching that the last two weeks. I actually watched the 4Kids dub of the show as a kid, and remember actually enjoying it... I was a kid that knew nothing about the series going in, don’t judge me. I do remember really loving the show, but I don’t remember anything past the Alabasta arc and I just never got back into the show for the longest time. so recently I figured, why not?

It’s been fun watching the show again, seeing all the little things that are different about the show than I remember since Funimation didn’t edit it so heavily. The first few episodes were pretty meh admittedly, and I don’t really care that much for Luffy’s character up to this point (Just feels like a less endearing Kid Goku crossed with Naruto, but with different powers, though he’s still likeable enough usually), but once we get to the arc with Usopp things really pick up.

I don’t really know what to say about the show thus far, since I knew what was going to happen for the most part all the time I was watching since I remember everything I saw before fairly well, so really I just feel like I’m waiting to get to the parts I don’t remember all that well to experience the show fresh again. But everything I’ve watched so far has been fun to revisit, my favourite arc so far definitely being the Arlong arc (Even if Bell-Mere was a bit more of an idiot than I remembered), and the characters are all likeable and entertaining to watch.

I probably won’t be watching the show as frequently as some of the other series I’ve been catching up on, what I’ll probably do is buy a new season on DVD every other week and see how long it takes me to catch up, but I am looking forward to watching more.

Well, that’s about it for this month. It’s been an interesting month for anime for me, to say the least, gave me some stuff to think about and I had plenty of fun overall. Hopefully I’ll have plenty more to talk about next month. Until then as always, I’m open to suggestions as to more anime I could add to the list below, and I hope everyone had a good month.

Series:

Mobile Suit Gundam

Outlaw Star

Cowboy Bebop

Digimon Frontier

Digimon Data Squad

Digimon Fusion

Yu-Gi-Oh 5D’s

Yu-Gi-Oh Zexal

Yu-Gi-Oh Arc-V

Sailor Moon (Watched the entire first season and was about halfway through season 2. Should really get back to watching the full series)

Sailor Moon Crystal

Yu Yu Hakusho (Up to episode 94)

Ranma 1 ½

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure (2012-onwards series)

Hunter x Hunter (2011)

Fullmetal Alchemist

One Piece (Up to episode 53)

Astro Boy (Any series. I just want to be able to say I’ve watched something from this franchise).

Kill La Kill

Gurren Lagann

Fairy Tail (Up to episode 203)

Little Witch Academia

Tenchi Muyo! (Finished watching the first two seasons)

Tenchi Universe

Death Note

Yuri On Ice

Fist of the North Star

Soul Eater (Up to episode 28)

Code Geass

Food Wars: Shokugeki No Soma (I watched about 9 episode, need to catch up)

Your Lie in April

Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Mob Psycho 100

Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex

Phoenix Wright anime

Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid

Natsume’s Book of Friends

Revolutionary Girl Utena

Eureka 7

Black Cat

Black Shooter Rock

Gunbuster

Afro Samurai

Space Dandy

Vision of Escaflowne

magical girl lyrical nanoha

Shin Sekai Yori

Baccano

Cyborg 009

Gaogaigar

Danganronpa

Yo-Kai Watch

Pretty Cure

Future Boy Conan

Yona of the Dawn

WataMote

Space Patrol Luluco

Rurouni Kenshin

Steam Detectives

Movies:

Your Name

Garden of Words

Paprika

Tokyo Godfathers

The Boy and the Beast

5 Centimeters per second

Millenium Actress

Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro

The Digimon Adventure Tri Movies

Yu-Gi-Oh: The Dark Side of Dimensions

Pokémon: Genesect and the Legend awakened

Pokémon: Diancie and the Cocoon of Destruction

Pokémon: Volcanion and the Mechanical Marvel

Pokémon: I Choose You

Ghost In The Shell

Memories

Perfect Blue

Naruto: Guardians of the Crescent Moon Kingdom

Naruto Shuppuden: Bonds

Naruto Shippuden: The Will of Fire

Naruto Shippuden: The Lost Tower

Naruto Shippuden: Blood Prison

Naruto: Road to Ninja

Boruto Movie

Fairy Tail the movie: Dragon Cry

Godzilla: Monster Planet

Mary and the Witch’s Flower

Princess Arete

Tekkonkinkreet

#anime #Yu Yu Hakusho #one punch man #tenchi muyo #one piece

[hurtmeg00d]

1. Are looks important in a relationship? Im confused on this question

2. Are relationships ever worth it? Yes... but make sure that person is worth all the hardships..

3. Are you a virgin? No..

4. Are you in a relationship? No..wont be until my aching heart is healed

5. Are you in love? Yes but im in love with someone who no longer cares for me ..someone who’s moved on and i look pathetic for begging them to come back..aint ever did no shit like this before

6. Are you single this year? as of now and for years after now, yes.

7. Can you commit to one person? Of course, why date if you aren’t working towards that?

8. Describe your crush : Its more than a crush.. this man is strong-willed, stubborn, passionate, driven, and everything you could ever want in a man.

9. Describe your perfect mate : Id rather not

10. Do you believe in love at first sight? In a sense yes, vibes are real, but its unlikely

11. Do you ever want to get married? Yes, that’s a goal of mine

12. Do you forgive betrayal? Honestly....i only give chances to those willing to continue to fight for me ...there’s a point in which it can become insane tho.

13. Do you get jealous easily? Yes, as fuck, but i hide it.. i want you to show me who you really are ..

14. Do you have a crush on anyone? I think its obvious

15. Do you have any piercings? Duh

16. Do you have any tattoos? Yes, 2, on both arms

17. Do you like kissing in public? Yes, but not to the point where we’re making others uncomfortable.  

20. Do you shower every day? Shiiiiit twice sometimes three times a day, i could live in my shower.

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you? Nope, I know for a fact.

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? Why would they lol.

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? Of course, longest relationship was 2 1/2 years and THEY cheated on me the whole time... thats a horrible feeling.

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? Ha... with the ways things are going rn in my non-existent love life, NO.

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year? If its not Jbaby then fuck no, everyone can fuck off for all i care, im stuck.

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? Yes but did they make the effort? No. Didn’t mean jack shit

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you? No

28. Have you ever been cheated on? Almost every relationship, ALMOST.

29. Have you ever cheated on someone? No

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body? Every woman has, but just workout.

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl? Ha. Are you kidding? im the king of sorrows

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Yes numerous times.. i love too hard..

33. Have you ever had sex with a man? Yes..

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman? Yes...

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? I prefer 21+ so yes

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends? Only once but we both didn’t want to ruin the friendship

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? Ha yes 

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Oh wow, of course .. i never expect to because im so closed off

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? Currently !!!!!!!!!

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? YES.

41. Have you had sex so far this year? eh yeh

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? I love foreplay, it just depends on my mood and how much im arousing the other person, i wait till i hear heavy breathing.

43. How long was your longest relationship? 2 1/2 years

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? My whole life i have 6 boyfriends and 1 girlfriend

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013? One because thats when i had my first kiss

46. How many times did you have sex last year? What kinda question

47. How old are you? Nastyyyy Nineteeeen

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? Thats their choice, what can you say?

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? Well i don’t but when i did, it was hard to pick a favorite thing when everything about him was perfect

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? FUCK NO HAHA

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? .....Yes

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why? Currently...i haven’t even tho i know i should.. he blocks me on all social media.. i uhh.. thats all i got for this question..

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? Im not but if i was and there were, FUCK EM

54. Is there someone you will never forget? Yup....

55. Share a relationship story. I cant ...too sad....

56. State 8 facts about your body : nah

57. Things you want to say to an ex : He knows how i feel about him. I still love and adore you. You still have a home here with me. I pray for you everyday... need i say more???

58. What are five ways to win your heart? You can’t rn its out of service

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!) nah

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? 4 years

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone? intellect 

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? For me? lol fight for me.. and to me? choke me the fuck out and call me his little princess

63. What is your definition of “having sex”? passionate rough love making

64. What is your definition of cheating? GIVING MF”S THE YOU THAT YOU GIVE ME

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine? Ayyyyy nah im not bout to say all that

66. What is your favourite roleplay? Never done that

67. What is your idea of the perfect date? Anything could be a date if youre just spending time with that person

68. What is your sexual orientation? Bisexual

69. What turns you off? inconsistency 

70. What turns you on? a couple thangs

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream? not telling

72. What words do you like to hear during sex? ooooooh theres alot, just whisper a bunch of shit about how pretty i am, how im yours, and what you gonna do to me

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? i dont want anything... i do the giving

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for? i dont 

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? uh cant recall

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? .....too much to write out

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? 5 years is the limit

78. What’s your dirtiest secret? hm

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? eh 

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? last month..

81. Who are five people you find attractive? nahhhh only the one and only JBaby

82. Who is the last person you hugged? Mommmmmaaaa

83. Who was your first kiss with? Gio lmfao

84. Why did your last relationship fail? Because i suffer from PTSD and i wasnt mentally ready for such an amazing beautiful man to sweep me off my feet so i started trying to cope in ways that hurt him.. im a piece of shit for that but it was too late you know? I fell in love with him when i knew i wasnt ready and still gave it a chance and then ii fucked it all up...im getting a tattoo to remember it..

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet? no