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yurababy · 2 years

Text

—angel or devil?; y.jh

synopsis being friends with seventeen had many perks, one of which being helping one another with indivudal needs. every member was fine with it, the trust between you and the group being so strong, but why did jeonghan never want any help?

notes yoon jeonghan x afab!reader, 5.5k smut + a lil bit of angst/fluff? reader is “shared” between the 13 members.. idk how to put it, idolverse, switch!reader, switch!jeonghan, brief mentions of the other members, and their dicks, consensual slapping but only once, jeonghan calls reader dumb, use of whore/slut, reader is adressed as “girl” multiple times

➤ i’ve posted on ao3 before but never tumblr so hi. hoping to come here more often if enough ppl like this D: i have a small draft of a dancer!hoshi au that i was hoping could be a full thing one day... and many more svt thoughts so pls send me asks!! enjoy <3

taglist @kayleeshinee @thinkinboutwonu @nothingwasnotfound @rubyhoons

“you’re insatiable,” joshua chuckled.

“no, i take advantage of my opportunities.”

the two of you were in shua’s room, him picking out a shirt for the day while you sat on the edge of his bed. the members had made plans to split up long-awaited errands, from trying out new noodle flavors to finding a lamp for chan’s room.

hooking up with 13 of your hot friends was convinient. you all trusted each other, having known one another for years, and being in the idol industry allowed little time to deal with personal needs. being able to play off a blowjob as a friendly hangout made things easy, because all it was was a friendly hangout.

with an included handjob.

even if they were your friends, being so close was an easy reminder that they were just men. 13 men. in one place. they were closer than anyone you knew, and it was nice to know they all somewhat tried to be responsible of their place.

all, but one.

“at least it’ll be 3 equal groups, i feel like the group i’m put in always has more work to do.”

“how come 3? who’s not coming?”

you looked up at the boy, catching a slightly annoyed smile on his lips. “jeonghan got out of it because he has a wish coupon.”

some people think seventeen are just too good at being entertainers, that it’s all fake for the camera. in truth, they’re the exact same when it’s just them. jeonghan is known to be a cheater, but he’s cunning. he values promises and remembers everything for his team; for himself. so when jeonghan made everyone coffee after a long day in the studio in 2019 followed by a chorus of “we owe you one, jeonghannie-hyung!”, he, like you, couldn’t let an opportunity pass. so on the one day the group decided to come together to get work done, jeonghan reminded everyone of his kind deeds and was allowed to stay home. you had stopped questioning the team’s ethics after a while. no matter how well you knew one another, it was nothing like the 13 of them. you were nowhere near close enough to have “wish coupons”.

so yes, you did know them pretty well, you did hook up with the members, but there was one you had yet to really get with. none other than yoon jeonghan himself.

he was impossible to figure out. maybe it was because he didn’t want to ask for “help,” or maybe it was because there was nobody he could trust like his members. joshua knew it was a little bit of both, but it was also a little bit of jeonghan being himself. a tease. wanting you to come and get him. so if joshua told everyone not to argue with the second-oldest’s request, it was just him being a good best friend.

joshua had thrown on a classic button down at this point, putting a lip balm in his bag as he looked back at you. “leave like, at least 10 minutes after us.”

“i know,” you smiled. you never know.

“we’ll get going then! you know how to cook if you want to eat anything,” his voice got a little deeper as if he was hiding a laugh, “or if you want to be eaten.”

“what the hell jos-”

the door shut with a series of giggles.

༺♡༻

eaten is an underestimate.

wanting jeonghan when he was right there was almost painful. eye contact as you sat with the other members. hands brushing against each other’s when reaching for chopsticks. he definitely knew what he was doing to you, a devilish smirk below his angel eyes, waiting for you to retract your hand first.

but jeonghan had to be an angel, because god was truly on your side that day.

finding a bathroom in a dorm of four units shouldn’t be as difficult as it was. most of the doors looked the exact same, the members cleaning them in order to post up new decorations. your favorite bathroom was the third unit’s— seungkwan was very particular with the hand soap scents. as you made your way down the hallway, you suddenly heard a pained noise.

jeonghan is the only other one here. jeonghan’s room is in the fourth unit.

your quest to find the bathroom was quickly forgotten as you opened doors to find jeonghan’s room. across the door you were about to open, you could hear soft crying, making you dash towards the door you suspected led to jeonghan’s room.

in your hastiness, you pulled the door open without a knock, scanning the room for jeonghan.

he wasn’t hard to find.

half-naked body splayed out on top of a pillow, your eyes made contact with his own, wet and slightly alarmed. you tried to not move your vision any further, beginning to back away towards the door, until you heard his broken voice.

“y/n,” the boy breathed, stopping you in your tracks.

you whispered back, “jeonghan.”

“can you help me?” it was so simple, said in a pleading voice. the silence surrounding you two was interrupted by your light steps towards him before you planted yourself into the edge of his bed. he had been sitting up by now, pillow still in between his legs just below his cock.

“you’re.. are you sure?”

“yes, y/n, god yes”

be a quick thinker. don’t ask dumb questions.

“what do you want me to do, jeonghan?” you held eye contact as you wiped his flushed cheeks dry.

“anything you want.”

that was all the confirmation you needed before guiding him towards the back of his bed, letting him rest against the pillows as you settled between his legs. his shirt was slightly oversized, not enough to get in the way but still an annoyance.

you took the hem between your fingers and looked up at him. “can we get this off?”

jeonghan’s eyes were closed and his lips were parted. a peach blush glowed on his face as he tried looking at you through his lashes. “cold… i get cold easily.”

for some reason the admittance made you grin, not being able to stop your hands from traveling up into his hair because the boy looked so different, so small. “tell me what’s off limits,” jeonghan demanded more than asked. you didn’t think too much about it.

“nothing gross. play with me, make it hurt if you want. let out whatever pent up frustration you have. i’ve been waiting too long to care.” he gave a small nod and slowly blinked. a true angel.

“such a pretty boy, maybe the prettiest out of them all. why’d you have to be such a tease, hm? could’ve done this so much sooner.”

his breathing was heavy and your faces were barely inches apart. the tears had been long gone and his eyes were more opened, albeit dark and half lidded. if you hadn’t been so close, you would’ve missed the way his lips began to curve upwards. such a tease.

“well, we’re here now, baby. why don’t you do as i asked? use that mouth for something else.”

well, you could play that game too.

“baby, if you want something then you’ll have to be a bit more specific than that. i could use my mouth for something like this,” you paused to act out an example, closing the gap between you two to press your mouth just upon his, taunting his lips to see if he’d make a move first.

that time, you felt his smile creep. “or, i could do this.” you smiled back before lowering your head to his neck, this time kissing his skin. he didn’t try to hide the low moan that escaped his lips when you bit down and sucked a bruise into the area.

jeonghan seemed to have had enough by then, as he snaked his fingers to your hair, softly pulling you off of his throat as if giving a warning. you were slightly taken aback by the change in demeanor, but he casually tilted his head and furrowed his eyebrows.

“are you dumb or a brat?”

oh.

the hand carding through your hair suddenly yanked your head down, jeonghan using his other hand to discard his shirt.

“i’m pretty sure i asked you to help me, not bitch off. you want specifics? i’m gonna cum twice today, okay? be a good girl and suck me off.”

you obeyed, placing one hand at his base followed by your lips wrapping around his tip, but you also took it as a challenge. you wanted to break yoon jeonghan. in order to do that, you had to give him the best blow job of your life. the other 13, it didn’t have to be competitive or too sexual. but jeonghan and you already had tension, so finally relieving it was bound to be intense.

contrary to popular belief, yoon jeonghan didn’t give a fuck.

if he was enjoying it, he’d be loud. if he hated it, you’d get a blank stare under raised eyebrows. his pride didn’t get in the way of pleasure, but pleasure wasn’t easy for him to get.

hookups weren’t his thing, relationships got messy as an idol. it wasn’t like he hadn’t done either, but his transparency disappointed and scared away most. he was frustrated. but you,

you were pretty good.

eye contact seemed to be a regular thing between you two. you stared each other down even as your head bobbed on his dick, as you made a show of licking a stripe up the shaft, as you planted kitten licks on the tip. his hands once again found your hair, forming a makeshift ponytail. jeonghan hadn’t had a blowjob in a while, let alone a good one, so he knew he wouldn’t last as long as he’d like.

breaking yoon jeonghan was easy if you did it right.

you knew you had because he broke the eye contact first. you slowly took inch after inch of his cock, showing him your limits. when you were so close to reaching his base, jeonghan’s hands in your hair abruptly pushed your head down his length, tears welling into your eyes as you eased into comfort. the sight made jeonghan throw his head back against the pillows, his loudest moan being released. after that, he used one hand to guide your mouth up and down, moans more frequent and high pitched. his noises did something to you too, pride welling up in your chest as your mouth vibrated around his dick from your own moans.

“cum.. a-ah, m’ gonna cum, don’t stop,” he heaved out, voice slightly frantic. it was almost mesmerizing, him being a dominant tease one second and pathetically mewling the next. your left hand found his balls, feeling around and eventually trailing a feathery finger up his body to his nipples. rolling the nub between two of your digits seemed to do the trick, his grip on your hair tightening then the hand falling to his side, a loud cry of your name, and his cum shooting down your throat.

you swallowed as much as you could, catching your breath but making sure you can catch the boy in a fucked-out state. if he was gorgeous before, he was ethereal now. you shifted closer to him, making sure to not taunt his sensitive cock as his eyes stayed shut. your hands found his jaw, then his ears, then his slightly damp hair before finally swinging around his neck, your head pressed against his chest.

“y/n,” he whispered, aware of the distance between the two of you. you felt his gentle touch wiping his excess fun from your lips.

“so beautiful, hannie.” he shut his mouth. “all that big talk for someone who can’t even ride his pillow?”

“fuck… off, baby, you think you can ride any better?” even through his high you could tell the chill of the room kissed his skin. he sounded exhausted already, but you knew better than to think this was ending anytime soon.

“i think i can, angel. who would’ve guessed you’re a little pillow prince? wanna crumble under me one more time?”

you don’t think you’ll ever be able to figure this guy out. when he spoke, his voice was molasses, deep and slow like he was talking to a toddler. “maybe i do. does my baby want me to fuck her instead? seventeen’s slut? right? or,” his hands crept under your shirt, brushing against lace, “just a whore for me?”

his cold hands made you shiver. the lingerie was on before you had heard about the members’ plans to go out, just as a fun surprise for whoever caught you. “it’s not usually like this. you know we’re all just friends.”

he cocked a brow at that, playing with the flowery fabric under your shirt. “oh? what does that make us?”

“too many questions,” you murmured, giving in and removing the top, leaving you in the pink bra and matching panties hidden by shorts.

he raised an eyebrow at you, signaling you weren’t quite done yet. you climbed off the bed to tug off the bottoms before propping yourself onto his lap.

jeonghan’s hands found the curve of your ass, running them upon of the lace while your arms found their place around his neck again.

“my my, what a coincidence. the whore is all dressed up. do you walk around like this everytime you’re here? does a different member find you every time? how do they fuck you, baby?”

you tried testing him. “so good. mingyu’s so big, soonyoung has so much energy, jihoon is so good at talking. especially shua. he may be the better version of you.”

the smirk that had been resting on jeonghan’s lips twitched. he moved one hand up your back to the clasp of your bra, swiftly undoing it and letting it fall into the space between your laps.

“shua can do that, too.”

breaking yoon jeonghan was to figure out which buttons to push in order to rile up his indifferent self.

“can shua fucking handle you?” he spat, the rest of his body calm as the hand near your chest moved towards your breasts. “does he put a dog leash on you to get you to shut up? aren’t you here to help?”

breaking yoon jeonghan was not just watching his body fall apart beneath you. breaking yoon jeonghan was challenging him back mentally until he couldn’t take it.

“shua likes to choke me. shua’s hands are bigger than yours and his dick is thicker.”

jeonghan scoffed, tracing his pointer finger around the skin of your nipples. “not longer?”

“maybe the same length. jun’s is longer and thicker.”

“tsk tsk, cockslut. didn’t you say i was the prettiest?”

break him. see how far he can go.

“what good does a face do during sex?”

test his limits.

that one got a slap delivered to your cheek with the hand that had previously been on your chest. you couldn’t suppress the moan that swam past your lips, the hand fondling your ass toying with the hem of your panties.

“fucking slut.” he sounded out each syllable once again like a preschool teacher. “maybe you’re right. but let me ask you this.” your panties were pulled down and his fingers greeted your wetness which gained a low chuckle from the man. “you wanna get fucked or not?”

not good enough. “weren’t you the one coming to me asking for help?”

he had quickly regained his composure, gripping your jaw with a sly smirk. “don’t worry about me, baby. i’m yoon jeonghan. i can fuck whoever i want.”

“i have 12 other guys waiting to fuck me everyday, you responded, not sounding as assertive as you would’ve liked.

“but aren’t you curious, sweetheart? you don’t wanna complete your set? satisfied with 12?” his fingers began to rub around your clit, hand from your jaw reaching towards his side table to nimbly retrieve lube.

is it worth it to wait this long? should i tell him to fuck me already?

you didn’t need to contemplate an answer when you felt dripping wet fingers around your clit. anything on your mind was cut off by your loud moan, relieved at the touch.

your sudden needy whines only made him laugh more, a finger teasing your entrance. “maybe if my face wasn’t so useless during sex, i would’ve gone down on you.”

“jeonghan, hannie, please. i’ll be so good, m’ sorry-!” he cut you off with a finger inside you, thumb caressing your clit at the same time.

“maybe next time, darling. if you learn to behave, that is.”

you buried your face into his neck, holding it there before lifting your head towards his ear. “i’m fine, i’m ready. i’m already opened up.”

he slowed his fingers. “who was the last one to fuck you and when?”

“ch-cheol. it was.. like.. maybe six a.m. i don’t know. i fell asleep here after the movie we watched.. last night.. so he just carried me to his room.”

“then why was hao the last person out the door?”

“so many quest-” your eyes met for the 100th time that day and you could tell he was truly curious. “…he just wanted to kiss. said he was still sleepy.”

jeonghan sighed, turning you over gently so he was on top of you. he fully pulled your panties down, holding the fabric in his hands for a few seconds before throwing them to the side.

“sure, i’m a pillow prince. i don’t do this shit. i promise you, i could. i’m doing it for you right now. pretty girl, this clearly isn’t going anywhere, hm? so let me fuck that attitude out of you and we can do it again sometime. am i clear enough for your useless brain?”

“yes, hannie.”

“safe word?”

“..melon.”

yoon jeonghan is forever a mystery to you.

he smiled, sickeningly sweet like a stash of ahloween candy, and brushed your hair away from your eyes. “good girl. let me kiss my pretty baby.”

he planted a hand under your thigh and the other beneath your head as your arms familiarly met the back of his neck. the action allowed you to pull him in, smiles on both your faces as your lips finally met.

you knew part of the reason you had this arrangement with your friend is because you were all sure nobody would get attached in the wrong way. but that was before you had ever gone the whole way with jeonghan , when he was everywhere around you but nowhere in reach. you had kissed the rest of them, for comfort, for pleasure, for fun, but why was it so much different right now?

right now it was so soft. it was giggles while catching your breaths, it was sucking the life out of each other, it was your fingers ghosting his locks and the pads of his against the smooth of your skin. it was his silk touch, his silk lips, his silk hair, his silk voice.

when you pulled away once more, you smiled at him, the moment too soft for you to care about your failed seductiveness. “when do i get to be fucked, hannie?”

yoon jeonghan, the mystery.

if you thought shua was the switch of seventeen, or rough, next to jeonghan, shua was vanilla.

shua was rough, but sweet with his words. a gentleman, everyone would say. jeonghan’s twin flame.

jeonghan was mean.

“so eager to have my cock in you. thought it wasn’t big enough? thick enough?” he leaned towards his side table again, opening a drawer to get a condom before rolling it onto himself.

“w-was lying, han. it’s perfect, you’re perfect. fuck me already,” you choked out, once again taken aback by the switch in personality.

he was so hot when he was mean. different from the other members. he did it so causally, almost expressionless. “i’ll destroy you, sweetheart. good girls don’t lie. i hate liars. only reason m’ still in a room with you is cause’ someone has to fuck some sense into you. seems like twelve dicks still can’t tame you.”

with that, he flipped you over, earning a yelp from your mouth as you were pushed into the bed, jeonghan telling you to get onto all fours. a hand was harshly hit onto your ass before jeonghan lined himself up with your slit and slipped his cock in.

“let me know when i can move, sweetheart,” the velvet of his voice melted into your ears. after a few moments, you murmured a green light and bottomed out, hands resting on your waist. you pressed the upper half of your body more downwards, eliciting a groan from jeonghan as he watched your back arch.

“you may be the slowest member yet,” you pushed your luck, deep breaths as you felt him pick up the pace.

when silence had grown just enough for you to think you wouldn’t get a response, jeonghan landed another slap into your ass, kneading the red after the hit. “good things come to good girls to wait. if you’re going to be a bitch, i have no problem slowing down a little more. maybe just stopping. how’s that, bunny?”

you guessed it was a rhetorical question because he suddenly sped up, the erotic sounds and skin slapping almost making you dizzy, but jeonghan had other things in mind.

fisting your hair, he yanked your body parallel to his, maneuvering his hands to play with your tits. “you were all talk when it was time to speak shit, but when i ask you a question you’re an idiot? think you can still handle me?”

you tried moaning loud in response, being it was the easiest option, but jeonghan’s fingers met your mouth and they were slipped between your lips. he chuckled as you sucked, pulling them out shortly after and replacing the wet digits onto your nipples in return for a whine. he tsked in response, but he sounded disappointed.

he pushed your body back down into its arch, pulling his dick almost all the way out of your cunt and holding it there for a moment. “what’s going on in your mind, sweetheart? wanna hear your pretty voice.”

“you- you fucker, just move-ah!” jeonghan slammed back into you, sucking in a breath from above.

“tell me, y/n,” he thrust in and out slow much to your (and his, but it was his choice) frustrastion.

“are you really able to help 13 of your friends get off without ruining your bond with any of them? are you good enough for them? for us?” he pulled your hair once more, your bodies meeting as he leaned into your ear.

“for me?”

it did sound a lot more complicated than it was, but the group wasn’t uncomfortable at all and nor were you. you knew you weren’t a fucktoy, in fact they helped you almost as much as you helped them. it was just an easy way to get around a difficult problem— for some members, like vernon, it was more of a one or two time thing, but for others like soonyoung, you never knew what to expect. high sex drive or not, they were all just a group of respectful men you knew you could trust. they were all hot, you especially knew, but the thought of ruining your bond hadn’t come up since your small crush on dokyeom.

well, there was no bond to ruin between you and jeonghan until now.

it was just a game. of course the two of you were friends, getting lunch every now and then and comfotably hanging out with other members, but him being the only member to not initiate anything with you had put an inevitable space between your relationship.

you had generally been closer to the older members, especially jisoo, yet the hookups you had with all 12 had never been this intimate. but, anything more than a friendship and casual hookups with jeonghan would mean the arrangement you had with every other member would be destroyed just because jeonghan finally came around to fucking you.

well, shit. that was a thought for another day.

you turned your head so that your faces met each others, half-open eyes still giving away your gentle smile. “that’s what i’m here for, hannie. if i’m not good enough, then make me.”

“cute, but i’d rather you prove it. this is for me, remember?” with that, jeonghan pulled out of you, your cunt clenching around nothing as you huffed out of frustration. he rolled over, fixing his pillows as he layed back so nonchalantley you had to hold back a scoff. finally, his droopy eyes slowly greeted yours, one side of his mouth lifitng. “i told you i don’t like liars, right? if you think you’re any better than me, come and get it, baby.”

ah. you really needed to watch your words around jeonghan— joshua wasn’t lying when he said the older remembered everything to his advantage. you were practically drooling for him at this point, eagerly climbing onto his lap as his hands found your waist. being as he was just inside you, it was an easy slide when you sunk back onto his cock.

jeonghan’s moans were louder than you thought they would be. wanting a reminder, you didn’t let the pleasure faze you as you rolled your hips.

just as you had began to move, jeonghan’s phone on the table beside his bed began to chime. jeonghan’s everlasting love for his members would never let him silent his phone. you peered over as a favor, trying to make out the caller id.

“it’s seungkwan-ah,” you breathed, setting a slow pace to stop the two of you from getting overwhelmed.

“pick it up, please.”

you knew from the games he played with the members, but jeonghan was a master at manipulation. he catered his way of speaking to everyone, being able to analyze even a cashier he’d never see again. it was the “please” that threw out any rational hesitance from your brain as you leaned into jeonghan’s body, extending your arm to reach for the phone.

you answered the call. “hello?”

“hyung! is there- y/n?”

oh. you forgot about how you were going to explain that it wasn’t jeonghan answering the phone. this seemed to be the boy in question’s plan all along, a dimple on his right cheek deepening on his skin.

“oh… seungkwan! jeonghan is in the shower.. so i picked up for him! what’s up?”

you heard a faint voice in the back, seungkwan responding to the mystery person with a really? before placing his focus back on you. “wonu hyung told chan that shua hyung said you were leaving the dorms? did something happen?”

you looked at jeonghan, his smile growing wider as his eyebrows knit together. you knew he would mock your inability to lie if the circumstances were different.

“i got kind of hungry… and took a nap.. what did you need from jeonghan?”

seungkwan seemed to not care enough to look into your story, taking a second to remember what he called for. “oh! if you’re near the kitchen, can you check which cereal box is empty? hyung said he really liked this one brand.”

you looked at jeonghan for help, and instead of a cereal brand answer, he moved your arm away from his face and whispered, “you’re going too slow, baby.”

he then placed his hands back on your waist, bringing you up and down his cock, making you clamp your hand over your mouth.

“y/n?” the phone spoke.

for a second, jeonghan seemed to have mercy on you, halting his movements so you can talk into the speaker. “um… cinnamon toast c-ah! crunch!”

it wouldn’t be jeonghan if he was that easy on you. he slammed you back down onto his cock mid sentence.

“oh? i thought hyung hated cinnamon… oh well. thanks, noona!”

you rushed a quick “bye” before hanging up and throwing the phone on the other side of the bed, jeonghan giggling below you.

“fuck you,” you gritted, seeing as he’s no longer helping you get off.

“you already are, babe.” you knew he was trying to rile you up as he had been, but you wanted to cum so bad. he seemed to have taken notice of the whine you let out, thumbs smoothening along your back. “let me help you.”

“no!” you stopped his wandering hands. “this is about you, not me.” you bounced on his dick quicker, placing your focus onto the pleasure laced into jeonghan’s voice as you did so.

“that’s true, my baby’s so smart. i think you deserve a reward.” you could tell he was getting close, his breath hitching through his words and his eyes fluttering shut.

even with his eye sight falling in and out of darkness, he was able to locate your breasts, not allowing for you to hide a mewl. just as he began to knead the skin, his tip found your g-spot, evoking a high-pitched moan from you.

“jeonghan… i don’t know how much longer i can wait,” you managed to get out, his hands traveling around your body. he enclosed them around your waist one final time.

he pushed your back, drawing you closer to him. “come here, y/n.”

you made it easier by leaning in, feeling his lips latch onto your neck. “help me just a little bit more,” he breathed onto your skin, sucking an angry red mark, then making a show of the action by licking his matching cherry lips.

you took his face into your hands, resting your forehead against his for a moment. “yoon jeonghan,” you heavily exhaled, a shy grin threatening to materialize, “i hope you always come to me. i hope this isn’t a one time thing. i hope you never sign an NDA again. i hope i’m yours.”

“mine, mine, only mine. out of 13, just mine. and i’m only yours.” his face contorted in something like lust, something you didn’t want to believe was lust. you could be just his. you were willing to do that.

“cum with me.”

with that, you released onto his length, not without a loud cry of his name. he thrusted into you twice more before he too came into the condom, a broken moan slipping past his lips.

for a few moments the two of you stayed like that, breathing against each other before you heard him call your name.

“should i run a bath?” he suggested. you made an approving noise, pulling off of his cock but not missing the hiss that came from the boy. he extended a hand to your own, letting you intertwine your fingers with a tired smile. jeonghan led you off of the bed, out of his room and into the hallway towards the fourth unit bathroom.

ah. it was right next to jeonghan’s room.

after getting the bath ready, the two of you slipped in, your body flush against his chest.

“i hope you weren’t lying.”

he broke the silence, caressing your shoulders in a gentle massage.

“about?”

“you and me. i don’t want you to be shy around me. this is a thing now. i’m an option.”

you leaned further back on one of his shoulders, his arm resting over your collarbone as you looked back at him.

“it’s not you who’s the option, it’s me. hannie, i’ve been waiting for this, i just didn’t know if you wanted it. when you need me, i’m here. sex or not, you know you’ve always had me. this thing with the members, it’s not complicated. if anyone finds love, then we’re back to just normal friends. same thing goes for you.”

“what if it’s you?”

you froze, taken aback at the boldness, but jeonghan had already began rephrasing his words.

“i’m not saying i’m in love with you,” that one hurt, but what did you expect? “i mean what if one of the members start liking you? or what if you start liking one of them?”

so much for him being an option.

“it won’t happen. they’re all adults, they won’t do anything more than a blowjob if they think they’ll somehow get more attached. and me,” your eyes fell on his fourth finger and the ring that circled around it. you can’t be selfish, that’s not what you’re here for. you shifted your gaze onto his, trying to provide some sense of reassurance to support your words. “don’t worry about me.”

“whatever you say, my princess.”

his, out of 13, he said you were his. you want to be his. could you be his?

“anything for you, my prince.”

#jeonghan imagines #jeonghan smut #yoon jeonghan smut #jeonghan x reader #seventeen smut #seventeen x reader #jeonghan scenarios #svt fic #jeonghan fic #seventeen fanfic #jeonghan fanfic #svt smut

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gffa · 9 months

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saw someone say "dickbabs is bad cuz they're written as a stereotype of smart nerd/dumb jock which is a disservice to their characters" and its so weird cuz i cant think of any comics where they're written that way?? like the best comics of them are the ones where they're working on cases together combining both of their strengths and resources to solve crime and theres plenty of those.

also i've noticed so many dickbabs antis have a problem with barbara's intelligence in general which is odd to me. esp when dick himself is never intimidated nor threatoned by it and its sad. its like ppl claim to like girlboss/malewife couples but then when there's actually a couple that displays that dynamic in a way that matters and isnt just based on appearance or physical traits its too much and they back out!

I just wish certain Dickbabs antis would stop putting their "why this other pairing is so much better than DickBabs" stuff in the #dickbabs tag, like you are not helping me think better of your competing ship with that kind of behavior, it just comes off as so desperate to be mad that other people like something you wish they wouldn't like. Otherwise, I don't really wander into spaces that aren't into the things I'm into, because I'd much rather spend my time yelling about why I DO love the thing I love, so in that vein, LET ME TELL YOU WHY I LOVE DICKBABS SO MUCH. (To be clear, it's perfectly fine not to like the ship or like it in a different way, we'll still get along fine! It's not the sum total of EITHER character's role in the comics, there's plenty to talk about them without getting into this relationship! I'm just not here for those who need to go out of their way to shove it in my face that they don't like the ship, but disliking it and staying in your lane--as many, many lovely people do! the majority I would even say!--is of course fine.) (To further clarify, I don't know the context of the original post mentioned here, it's not part of anything I'm speaking of, this is purely about trying to shove it in others' faces, not about how other people interpret ships differently from me while staying in their own lanes. So I'm probably not speaking about the original post whatsoever here!) For me, I think the heart of their bigger relationship is built on their mutual support for each other, that they each have established themselves individually and have their own books and their own time in the spotlight, but they keep gravitating towards each other because they're better and stronger and more fun together. That each of them gladly takes their turn being the support for the other, because that's what relationships do! And they do it with such love, like-- I love them because they've known each other so long that they really get each other, they get that the other isn't perfect, and they've made the choice to be with that person even when their issues have thorns. Like, I loved everything about their conversation in Nightwing #96:

That is exactly what he needed to hear--she wasn't being cruel or dismissive of his issues, she wasn't even really being mean about the issues he picked up from Bruce, because she's right, Bruce does have some really shit traits that he passed on to his eldest. She's not saying that either he or Bruce are bad for it, she's just accepting that it's part of the man she loves and she'll cut through it with him because he's worth any effort it would take to be with him. I love that she laughs right in his face about breaking up, because that's not cruel or dismissive either, it's just Dick being ridiculous and sometimes it's part of his charm and they've always teased each other--the thing is, it's also always followed up with warmth and care, she asks him point blank, are you happy with me? Because you are allowed to be happy. I'm allowed to be happy and I'm happy with you, you're worth dying for, let's do this together. Or I love their earlier dynamic in the Batgirl comic as well, just after Bruce and Selina's failed marriage (this is before they got back together, like in the above):

I love SO MUCH that Babs isn't sure that she necessarily wants a marriage any time soon, she doesn't trust yet that it could last, but what she does want is someone who would be there if she needed them, that at this point in time she feels like moments are all any of them are allowed to have, so what she wants is someone who will always answer when she calls. At this point, she's afraid to commit because she doesn't feel like they get that kind of thing, she's afraid of her own feelings, that really gets hammered in during the Death Knight storyline where they're fighting against the end of the world, the collapsing of the multiverse, and Bruce is tired of their bickering, so he tells them to just "skip to the end", which is basically, Dick wants to symbolically marry her, but she's afraid because she doesn't want her feelings for him to get in her way, she's terrified of losing him again:

But he's there for her, he says that it's just for tonight, he can put it aside when they need to, and later he'll win her back. This is who Dick and Babs are to me--they dance around each other because their feelings are so intense and sometimes it feels like they're on different pages (Dick's a romantic who wants to get married someday and knows it, she isn't sure she wants marriage but something less defined), but then you dig into it a bit and realize they are on the same page, it's just that their costumed lives, the traumas they've both lived through, make them scared of that level of intensity. And that's why Babs being the one to say, once they're together, no, we're happy together, we're allowed to be happy together, is so important. It's why she refuses to not come along with when Dick is going to the founding of the Alfred Pennyworth Foundation and doesn't take his shit about trying to keep her safe in Nightwing #88.

Because they take turns supporting each other, they take turns being the one to say I love you so much that I would fight the world for you, that they make each other stronger and shore each other up. Even before they got back together, they supported each other and were always there to listen, to joke around to lighten the mood, to just be a friendly ear without expectations of anything else:

Plus, they are adorable when they're flirting:

DICK'S IDEA OF A HOT DATE IS A NIGHT ON THE SOFA IN SWEATPANTS, EATING POPCORN, AND WATCHING THEIR FAVORITE SHOW. HE UNDERSTANDS HER, OKAY.

Ultimately, I love them because sometimes she goes to him. Sometimes he goes to her. Sometimes she cuts through his bullshit with love. Sometimes he cuts through her bullshit with love. They're always there for each other, even when they're not together. They have a blast flirting with each other. They're both aware of the other being a hot mess sometimes, but they know that's part of the person they love and deal with it. They're partners.

#lumi.txt #dc #batfam #dick grayson #barbara gordon #dickbabs #long post #really long post

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vorpalfae · 2 months

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Trigger Warning: Rare Illness/Health Issues [wasn't sure if this need a tw but these topics make some ppl uncomfy so i wanted to be considerate anyway💜]

so a lot of ppl have been asking me why i don't post pics anymore or why i have barely been on social media compared to how i used to be. and the reason is i've been having severe health issues for a very long time. i can't even remember the last time i went more than a month without feeling nauseous, or actually throwing up, or just having headaches and stomach pain that are so bad i can barely tolerate them.

i've known for a while that i have gastritis, but my mom & my bf convinced me to go to a new doctor for a second opinion. after months & months of pure agony and feeling exhausted and sick to the point where i have no energy, i finally know why. i went to a specialist and discovered i have a rare illness called CVS (Cyclic vomiting syndrome). and i also am lactose intolerant which was amplifying my symptoms because i eat dairy products constantly.

i am going to be starting treatment for it and i really hope it improves my life and my ability to function because i am so tired of "living" like this. just existing has been exhausting and painful. i literally haven't been able to accomplish any of the goals i have because i can't go more than a few days without feeling horrible.

i already feel useless because i'm autistic and i have bipolar 1 and i'm waiting on disability payments to come through because i am unable to work with my disabilities. so my bf has been working and doing his best to take care of me and our kids. i just feel so horrible and guilty all the time. and i genuinely didn't know why i feel sick 24/7. all i want is to feel like myself again. and to do all the things i miss doing. i feel like i'm trapped by this illness.

i'm grateful to have answers and know what i'm dealing with finally. but after suffering like this almost every single day for so long its so hard to feel hopeful for the future at this point. i'm literally in tears as i type this. its just been really bad. i never do my makeup anymore or feel good about myself. i can barely move sometimes because the pain in my stomach is so bad or i get pain in my throat from vomiting for hours at a time, and then i get MORE pain from dry heaving due to not being able to hold down any food. and then i get random migraines and headaches that last all day as a result of all of that. its taking a huge toll on my body and my mental health. my depression gets worse during the winter season so when this started getting really bad it just made my mental health a million times worse. its literal hell.

but yeah thats why i haven't been online. real life is hard enough and i haven't been motivated to post because of the hell i'm going through or a lot of the time i physically CAN'T make content. but i'm going to keep trying. i'm going to do every fucking thing my doctors tell me to do because im so fed up with suffering. i promise that i will make content again and post the things i create and other stuff i used to post about before i stopped being able to function. as soon as i start to feel semi normal or at least well enough to do daily activities and complete even small goals, i will post about it. i'll keep u guys updated.

i appreciate every single person who follows me and my content, and all the ppl who keep checking up on me and wondering where the fuck i went. i love you guys so much💜 and i'm so sorry to all the ppl who haven't heard from me. if i can gain at least a little bit of my physical strength and health back, i will be so happy. i also am trying to get vitamins prescribed to me because im severely lacking nutrients but they are so expensive and i can't afford them out of pocket until i get my disability money. i'm also anemic and have to start taking iron supplements again. i'm just a giant ball of health issues😭 its actually ridiculous how bad my health has been. but i'm a mom and for that reason i will never stop trying. i will do whatever it takes to get better. i don't think my health could get much worse than it is currently. hopefully i didn't just jinx myself by saying that😭

sorry for the super long explanation, i just have sooo many messages in my inbox and questions that you guys send me that i haven't answered. i don't want to leave u in the dark. the connections i've made on this silly little blog mean the world to me. and everything i've been going through has been so hard to explain. but since i recently got a REAL answer as to why i'm suffering so much, i felt it was a good time to let you guys know what is going on with me. like i said, when i am able to feel somewhat normal again i will post consistently and re-open my shop too! it sucks so bad having a passion for creating but being too sick to even get out of bed other than to get sick in the bathroom. i've been to the emergency room more times this month than i have in the last 4 years. if i can overcome this awfulness i will not take it for granted. i will work harder than i ever have to create and share it with the world. but for now i just have to sit back and do whatever my doctors tell me to do and hope to god that it helps me 😞

#kh

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ezlo-x · 10 months

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tbh my biggest gripes with totk is the fact that they did it beginner friendly new comer friendly... like i know this is gonna sound mean but genuinely I wish it didn't try to cater to new fans who want to get into tloz cause totk's story failed cause it needed to cater to new zelda fans

idc abt the lore getting rebooted, sure im going to miss the triforce being an essential piece of the story and lore, only to become the Hylian symbol and game's logo (which tbh is strange its like pokemon using the pokeball as their logo/symbol but pokeballs becoming obsolete in new pkmn games). But because it wanted to be new comer friendly botw's story and lore aspects are long gone and only to be referred to as easter eggs to ppl who played botw know. When characters talk about things that happened in botw as if it was a long time ago like the attack of the Calamity 100 years ago but things that actually happened a very long time ago make it sound like its pretty recent.

I don't like how the new sages just don't remember the champions at all. If you get the divine beast helms through sidequests and read their dialogue they speak in this way as it is their first time seeing it like?? Which is so strange cause totk would gladly reference Sidon and Link's companionship with a statue when trying to access Vah Ruta in BotW, but Mipha gets barely a mention from him? My biggest hopes before we got the title of the game was to let go of the champions, as in we don't need them to be back as they already have done what they need to do. But also I didn't want them to be completely gone from the game and only know them through easter eggs and references.

Like yeah TotK is a sequel to BotW but its more so "ok botw was a rough draft, THIS is the story we wanted to do" and it turns out to have inconsistencies. Zelda mentions the Calamity a few times, there are tombstones to placed around Hyrule commemorating people who lost their lives by the Calamity. But the Sheikah technology is completely gone, the towers that were there for eons are gone. I feel like the towers could've been an easy fix to explain why they are gone like "oh these chasms appeared and collapsed the towers, so now we built these new towers in replacement."

Like with Majora's Mask being separate but also a follow up to Ocarina of Time works because. While yes they are using the same characters and same game mechanics. They are using a whole different world/setting that is different from OoT. Where it excuses using the same characters and same game mechanics, cause it has a complete different story but is consistent on where it left off with Ocarina of Time. I honestly thought TotK was going to take place mostly in the skies than in the surface. Since they kept hyping people up with the teaser trailers and then we had SkSw HD being released. Like yeah it will be like some glorified version of SkSw

When I was reading the interviews Nintendo uploaded a few days before TotK's release and saw Fujibayashi say ,"We put in some effort to make sure that it feels comfortable for both first-time players and those with experience of the previous game." In the back of my mind I questioned a bit this cause I mostly asked myself "isn't this a sequel?" but then I reassured myself that they'll probably would reexplain certain things about the previous game and what happened in the story for new comers. But not to this extreme

#when i was looking for that quote i was like 'did Aonuma said this?' and I see it was Fujibayashi and went THIS FUCKING GUY-#totk #txt #was gonna tag it as spoilers but im not saying anything spoilery i think #but i'll tag it as that if anyone needs to

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cupcakeslushie · 7 months

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Okay. I've been tip-toeing around this AU for a while now, but I just got caught up, and now I think I have a (decent) grasp on what's going on. So I wanna go over everything I know so far to see if I'm right or wrong on anything. Don't know if you'd be willing to correct me or not. Either way, I hope my mistakes can help you understand what to clarify to other fans like me. But, I also have some questions. You probably won't be able to answer most of them, but it's at least worth a shot.

First, where's Venus? Like, why is she not in your comics that are (sort of) separate frome the canon now story. The ones that skip to the future way after all the turtles reunite. Did she die? Did she escape? Is it because she wasn't introduced yet when you made those comics?

Two, why do you keep on making references to the future timeline? I know you're planning on possibly making your own stuff leading up to the events of the movie. It just gives me a jumpscare when I see certain...imagery in those comics. I guess you're hinting at what your version of the future apocalypse would look like, but it just hurts to see. Specifically in the comic explaining both the events and aftermath of the movie and the bad future timeline. It's starting to really confuse my brain as to where this story is headed. What's meant to be the main focus? The Hamto's reuniting? The aftermath? Or the future?

Third, did you make all those min-comics before you started the actual AU? Or did you do them during?

Fourth, are any of those mini-comics relevant to the actual story now? Or have you changed your mind on a few things? It's just that everything is so all over the place, I don't really know whether to trust if they're accurate. I know most of them are just there for funzies, but the longer ones concern me. I guess I'm just not used to the storyteller doing sequel, start, prequel, start, sequel, prequel, prequel, sequel, and then end. Or maybe it's just me, and I'm sleep deprived.

My little observation speech is gonna take a while for me to get out in your asks because when I get theoretical, my speech gets long, and my proper English goes down the drain. So I'll be back. I appreciate your work very much. Despite the pain it causes me, it's still amazing.

I’ll try my best to clear up what confusion I can!

1. As far as Venus. The answer is kind of a mix of, I was still figuring out her design and backstory while coming out with some of those early comics, and then, once I had that down, I wanted the boys to grow strong bonds as a main cast. That’s why a lot of the side characters are only making small appearances in the Sep!AU Life stories, as those are mainly for the boys reconnecting. (Usagi shows up the most because I love him and am totally biased towards him).

This maybe hasn’t been stated outright, but I wasn’t really expecting so many ppl to like Vee as much as they do, and now im trying not to spoil too much of her story. It’ll unfortunately just take us a while to get to the meat of it. Since the boys reconnecting takes up a lot of the early s1s2 story, Im trying to follow the familiar Rise blueprint of Draxum, Shredder, Krang, and then in s3 we’ll have crazy fun new stories with the extra characters.

Ive also decided to take this little nugget from one of the Q&As, and use it for Venus instead of Jennika. It was a much needed bit of inspiration to explain why Venus sorta disappears for a while and will go through some major physical changes (not yet revealed) before the family can figure out a way to reach her.

2. I’m not sure if you mean jump scared in a bad/triggering or neutral way, but if you need me to tag anything on those posts please let me know!

The glimpses of the future timeline, are being scattered throughout wherever they parallel the present story in little ways, but that’s only for now. As we get closer to the movie plot, bigger chunks of the future will be revealed, because the future versions of the boys will have a larger role to play in the present timeline. So we will need more backstory than what the canon got. And also I just enjoy drawing my future versions so sometimes I don’t think too hard on a reason. I just like throwing them at ppl with no warning or reason.

When s2 ends, I plan on collecting all the future related stuff that’s been released, and recapping it for easier reading. Right now, it’s just little sprinkles of foreshadowing to give ppl an idea that, ‘oh crap. The doomed timeline is a bummer’. In my mind, I guess i thought it’d be kinda like a fun scavenger hunt for clues, but maybe ppl don’t like that 😅

3. All of the side-stories were written as the main comic was/is being released. A lot of them resulted from asks that just spawned the need to expand on certain ideas, or a desire to give all the turtles their time to shine.

For instance, when I was doing Donnie’s section of the main comic, it was a good few months where we hardly saw anyone but him and Venus. I wanted to just mix it up, and give Raph some love with his ‘Raph Time’ short. When Leo was front and center in the main, we hardly saw the others, so Mikey and Donnie got their little ‘Secrets’ short (and it was also I fun thank you for EW making it so far in the tmnt sep competition).

4. Anything that has been reworked/revised or just plain dropped should have an ‘Edit’ note because yes—I have gone back and changed some things, but more so from the asks i got in the early days, and some movie idea drafts.

All the short comics done in the last year, especially the ones that are listed in my pinned post, are canon and fall somewhere in the timeline. They’re like supplemental reading though—extra meat to give the world and the characters more personality. They do have particular backstory plot and important info in them, but nothing that shouldn’t eventually be re-visited/repeated in the main story.

um I hope that cleared up some things! I know it’s kind of a crazy amount of lore. I’ve tried my best to organize it in the pinned post, huge timeline, and search bar tags, but I know it’s getting harder and harder for newer ppl to jump in as it just get bigger. Thanks for reading regardless!

#rottmnt #tmnt #ask slushie #separated au #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt separated au #sep!au infodump #ew au #Empyrean Weeping Au

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juni-ravenhall · 1 month

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long post about ydris & circus worker / traveller / romani stereotypes (+ unrelated but related heterochromia)

(.... and sse's behaviour around one traveller-coded character and then of a masc-ish woman of colour while they dont do this with their plain white toast characters)

yasmin told me to write a post about this after i was telling her about it, so here it is.

first for canon: ydris is obvs pandorian, non-human, and his human form does not necessarily read as a specific ethnicity or cultural belonging (but i will get back to his looks later in the post!). he throws in french words but he is pandorian. why he speaks french (or uses it for flair?) is not clear from the lore afaik.

anyway. there are stereotypes about people who work in the travelling circus (or in any circus at all, depending). these stereotypes often go hand in hand with stereotypes about romani people and other travelling people. (im talking both about circus people of the past and present.)

here are some examples of harmful stereotypes about travelling people, circus people, and romani people (often these are founded in being an "outsider", people dont like to trust outsiders and consider them strange for not being exactly the same as themselves, aka xenophobia):

thief, criminal, dangerous

trickery, lying, cheating

seduction, enchanting (can come back to ^ trickery etc)

unreliable, untrustworthy

immoral, and/or follows other morals/laws than "the norm" in the places they travelled to [and this is seen in a negative way]

promiscuous, unfaithful

mysterious, intriguing

using magic / reading fortunes (these can be connected back to trickery, mystery, seduction...)

wild, untamed

"are they good or bad?"

speaks a foreign language or a secret language (and may use this to talk behind the backs of locals / to trick locals)

sexualised on behalf of above points (immoral, mysterious, seductive, enchanting, wild, untamed...)

objectified and/or dehumanised on behalf of above points (i think you get it by now.)

these stereotypes can affect people who are, for example, european or american white people who work in a travelling circus. however, romani people, on behalf of their ethnicity, can be affected by these stereotypes about nomadic people even if that romani person doesn't live a nomadic lifestyle, because these stereotypes about romani people persist as racist and cultural stereotypes even when you take the travelling out of the equation. (i think irish travellers also face the stereotypes regardless of if they live as settled or as nomads?)

now, i want to say some things about ydris looks before i move on with the topic of these stereotypes, but first its important to note that sso is a swedish game made by swedish people, and whats considered "white" or "white passing" in the US is not the same as what it is in scandinavia or northern europe (i cant speak for other parts of europe well enough so i wont). its also more like "what part of europe"-passing rather than just "white" passing.

in sweden, you're not going to meet hispanic americans or african americans, for example, but you will see romani people and kurdish people, for example, and ofc, polish people, estonian people, people from around the area.... the minority groups are different in europe vs the US (vs anywhere else ofc. i hope USamericans learn that nowhere else is the US and you need to stop projecting shit on other places). the idea of whats "swedish ethnicity" or "scandinavian ethnicity" or "european ethnicity" and so on are not equal to "white american ethnicity". remember that many white ppl here can trace back their history like a thousand years in the same country, while white ppl in america are generally like, "my great grandpa came from germany, my great grandma from poland, and my girlfriend's family came from ireland" and so on. theres a mash of different cultures and ethnicities, which isnt the average case for white people in europe. (please: obviously im not saying "everyone is this" just on average. plenty of ppl are mixed here, or have grandparents who moved here, etc.)

i am a swede with dark brown hair and dark brown eyes and i have experienced white ppl colorism (im still not sure if colorism is the right word, but i think so. however its mostly harmless idiocy, but frustrating to hear over and over). i dont mind it anymore, i just think its stupid, now, as an adult. and colorism(?) within white people is not at all as bad as racism that poc experience in the same country - just to be clear. the reason i bring it up isnt to say "boohoo me", but to try to explain what "white passing" or "swedish passing" is in sweden, from a person who literally is white but is not considered swedish enough due to having darker eyes and darker hair.

anyway! ydris has black hair. from a swedish developer and swedish audience perspective, black hair is enough to make a character read as "foreign". (thats why we had this whole tangent ^ above.) but, we also dont need to rely on a vague hint of foreignness, because he throws in french words, and he's from pandoria. and a lot of people will associate the travelling circus and ydris' wagon with romani culture to some degree, whether or not that's accurate (again, circus culture and romani culture and other nomadic cultures can become mixed up). the black hair ties well into the image of a travelling circus person.

ydris is a sort of "chaotic neutral" in the story so far. he has different intentions than the "heroes" and "villains" both, and he is largely self-centered (focusing on his own desires - tho he seems to care about pandoria as well - and he likely experiences different feelings than the average jorvegian does, and his sense of morals and social rules are different). now, im sure you can see how that ties back into some of the stereotypes ive listed: he's a foreign outsider who cant be trusted, he is mysterious, is he good or bad?, he tricks people, he behaves chaotically (wild)...... etc

he also comes across as flirty towards the player, which im sure you can see, ties back in to things from the stereotype list like seduction, enchantment, and being promiscuous. if it helps, consider Esmeralda from Hunchback of Notre Dame, as an example of the harmful stereotype of seductive romani. (i loved disney hunchback when i was a kid, and i also want to point out that that movie handles the topic of how esmeralda has to do things just to scrape by, and she is demonised in the eyes of a rich white religious man in power, who is evil, while she herself is a good person and being oppressed and dehumanised. just leaving that here as food for thought, not to really defend or cancel anything, but to encourage ppl to view things in a nuanced way. the stereotypes are harmful and disney is an evil company, but there are also parts in that story that are criticising the right things. then theres other parts that are just ??? )

also, there is a significant population of romani in france, but ofc there are romani across many countries. yasmin pointed out when we talked that french is also seen as a "sexy language" - so it kind of both ties into the "foreign traveller from further down in europe" and "seductive romani" by having him use a language considered "sexy".

ydris also has heterochromia (one light blue eye and one dark blue) which isnt related to the idea of the traveller, but it *is* considered "mysterious", "strange", and potentially "untrustworthy". this is ofc really weird - heterochromia is a real life condition that completely normal people have. having heterochromia shouldnt be portrayed as anything weird or special - there is nothing mysterious or strange about it, or something "untrustworthy" (playing into things like being two-faced).

if you go back up to the list of harmful stereotypes, keeping the things ive said in mind, and how ydris behaves in the game..... im sure you can understand what im saying about the bigger picture. the combination of living in a circus wagon, being mysterious and flirtatious and living by his own rules, being untrustworthy, having black hair, throwing in french words, theres a lot of things that maybe seem okay out of context, but when you put them together, to me, it makes it clear that ydris is like.... romani coded, or something close to romani coded, despite, yes, technically being pandorian, i get it, thank you, its not relevant, he is not real, the staff at sse are real and their biases are real.

theres nothing wrong in itself with being flirty or promiscuous or seductive and whatnot - or with fictional villains, or chaotic, untrustworthy characters - the problem is the stereotype of a group of real people. especially when you're passing these stereotypes on to an audience of impressionable children. why is ydris the character being handled this way? why is sabine the character to be handled this way? why dont they handle plain white toast characters this way?

an important point is that i dont think neither ydris or sabine are really sexualised within the game itself - the more blatant stuff happens on sse's official social media. ydris is sexualised to some degree in the way that he flirts: again, it alludes to the seductive romani person, even if its very mild flirting (the stereotype is still perpetuated). sabine is mostly not sexualised in the game, just hyped up in general, but the social media team keeps milking the fact that ppl are thirsty for sabine. the post is not really about sexualisation as the focus. its about general questionable or outright harmful design choices, that sometimes also has to do with sexualisation and objectification.

this, as usual, isnt about cancelling sso or sse. its about being analytical and critical about the media you consume, and about biases both from creators and from audiences. its about learning how to be more understanding and respectful towards other people. and about raising your voice and holding ppl accountable when they perpetuate harmful things (esp if its people in power, like companies, celebrities, and politicians).

personally, i dont think you arent allowed to think ydris or sabine are hot. its okay if they are your type or if you relate to them or whatever, because like, ultimately we're surrounded by all these characters and real people everywhere in media that are affected by biases. but i DO think you need to actually think about this shit if you are thirsting for sabine or thirsting for ydris. i dont think its great to just be like, omg, typical ydris, he tricked me again and then he seduced me, typical circus people. or to be like, wow, sabine is so hot and should step on me, beefy women of colour are scarier than beefy white women, thats so hot. do you get it? you can be attracted to these charas without being racist or xenophobic or misogynist or whatever, they just happen to be your type, and thats nice, but you do need to think about how you view them and why, and how you talk about them and why, bc a lot of people have biases they arent even aware to, and might not understand what kind of biases you perpetuate. example: how apparently most ppl didnt think about the romani / traveller stereotype implications of ydris so i had to write this post. stay woke and pay attention to potential harmful stereotypes in media, so i dont have to write this shit anymore

#also disclaimer this post could be less of a mess. its sleep time and this wasnt the easiest topic to explain

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crimeronan · 5 months

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hey what is wwaitsoatl?

oh! it's what we are is the sum of a thousand lies, my most popular toh fic by FAR and the thing most toh people here started following me for. back before i got sucked down the princess luz hyperfixation rabbit hole. it's a fic that takes more work to write than any of my others because it has an incredibly involved drafting & editing process. bc i am a perfectionist.

the premise is a canon divergent timeline wherein belos suspects that hunter lied to him at the end of hunting palismen. and completely wrecks hunter's shit forever. and infects him with curse goop in the process. and darius (who, Very Importantly, does not yet have a friendly rapport with hunter) trips over the kid's half-dead body.

and freaks.

and kidnaps hunter n takes him to the owl house. bc that's the one surefire place of refuge on the isles.

there are a bunch of emotional threads, hence why it's novel-length and not even finished yet despite being about just four characters chilling in a house together.

mainly it's about:

hunter unraveling his cognitive dissonance and cult brainwashing in an AU where he doesn't have all of hollow mind's answers; his feelings are Incredibly complicated and messy & he gets incredibly mean and snarly about it

darius grappling with the fact that his own grief and resentment blinded him to a kid who Very Much Needed Him, darius dealing with the fact that actually he never DID grieve his mentor or his mentor's dead family

darius and hunter developing a rapport in a timeline where hunter very much has Not broken out of all the cop shit that darius disdains So Much. so darius is so fucking exasperated and tired all the time

eda trying desperately to help hunter learn to live with a curse / chronic pain / chronic illness, while having very little faith in herself to begin with

luz feeling Horrifically guilty about hunter's curse and injuries, bc she thinks she should have clocked the abuse and brought him home with her or otherwise stopped it

hunter developing an almost immediate and pathological emotional attachment to luz because of her kindness, which complicates all of his complicated feelings WAAAAAY MORE

eda, darius, AND luz all desperately trying to get hunter to admit that he's been abused and that what happened wasn't his fault. you would not believe how fucking long it takes.

i'm actually really, really, Really proud of it -- it's rare for one of a writer's best works to be their most popular, but this genuinely is one of mine. if not my best work, period. there's a lot of nuance and messiness and emotional complexity and grief and arguing that i'm SO happy with.

also, despite the subject matter, it's often extremely lighthearted. some of the funniest dialogue i've ever written is strewn throughout all these serious emotional threads.

i'd apologize for how long this response is but this story is a heart project and has 67,000 published words on ao3 so far. (the chapter i'm writing rn will likely be another ~8,000 words, then there are a couple more chapters to come.) so there's a lot to say!!

it's my most popular ao3 fic for any fandom, ever, in the 12 years i've been on the site. the response has been WILD. if you sort by kudos, it's the 31st most favorited owl house fic Of All Time, the 7th most popular fic involving darius, and the 5TH most popular hunter & luz relationship fic. again, of all time. which is. insane.

people have been very kind and patient with me having been too sick to work on it for a while. there was a seven-month break between chapters 8 and 9, and if i finish chapter ten soon then there'll have been a nine-month break between chapters 9 and 10. so i don't know how many people are actually going to come back to read it, a lot of ppl have moved on from the fandom and such. but i'm extremely extremely extremely grateful to everyone who's given it a look!

#replies #long post #toh #my writing #horrible mindscape trauma pals #dadrius #darius deamonne #eda clawthorne #wwaitsoatl #hunter toh #luz noceda #i really am in love with this story i like. i somehow forgot how in love i am with this story #but i do i love it so much. i love it So Much. i could talk about it for Ages

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apollos-boyfriend · 1 year

Note

what's a festa junina if you don't mind my asking?

i don't mind at all!!!! i love sharing stuff about brazil <3

okay SO. festa junina directly translates to "june party", and are sometimes also referred to as "festas de são juão" (saint john's parties) because we're in brazil and everything has to be related back to religion somehow LMAO. they are festivities that take place in, obv, the entire month of june, although some can last up until like, late august because by god do brazilians love a good party. traditionally, they're held to celebrate the harvest season, rain, and marriage (*cough* which is why it'd be great to celebrate it now with the spiderbit wedding on the horizon *cough*). it's brazil's second-biggest festival, second only to carnival ofc, and has very rural roots in its celebration style due to largely being a harvest/farming based celebration!

so!! festa juninas are typically held in wide open areas and absolutely COVERED in colorful decorations. largely banners, as shown above, but there are also different tents/stalls full of food, games, and other stuff for people to enjoy!! festa junina is kind of heralded as the best time for food/snacks bc it's FULL of sweets and other treats that aren't that common to find en-masse during other times of the year. as shown above, it's also super common for HUGE campfires to be lit (fogueiras) for ppl to dance around and stuff :]

due to being so heavily inspired by/created in rural areas, the standard dress code is very much of a stereotypical rural farmer (called caipira in portuguese!). the standard is for men to adorn straw hats, flannels, and working boots/pants, while women wear their hair in ribboned braids, dot freckles on their faces, and wear rustic dresses on top of it all! the dresses can be EXTREMELY over the top sometimes to the point of camp and i fucking love them so much. genuinely some of my favorite memories are shopping for dresses for festa junina.

as i said, games are a BIG part of it too! a lot of festa juninas are hosted by schools so they need stuff to entertain the kids, but honestly, as a grown adult i still will go to them in a heartbeat. they're largely the typical festival games of ring toss, three-legged races, etc, but i cannot put into words the certain Charm of them. like. by the time festa junina starts it's at least sundown, if not fully night, so all the stands are lit up by the yellow-orange glows of shitty lanterns/fairy lights and. ough. that is my heaven. (fun fact, me and my cousin once won like, a dozen goldfish from one of these. good times.)

and last, but certainly not least, i GOTTA talk about the dancing!!! we call it quadrilha, and it's kind of like square dancing, i guess? it's a very silly and over-the-top dance that's The biggest even of the night. the dance follows the story of a wedding ceremony (rehearsal? i can't recall) which again would be PERFECT for the current events on the smp.

and yeah!! there's a lot of other stuff and they can vary from region to region (i'd love for other brazilians to share things i may have missed :Oc) but overall they're just a HUGE event in brazil and for brazilian communities that really just unite everyone in one huge night (or nights) of partying!!

#muse talk #shortguyswag #I HAD TO REWRITE THIS ENTIRE THIGN BC TUMBLR LOST IT #BUT YEH!!!!! i love festa junina :3 #some of my fondest memories of home r held within the month of june for this very reason #there r so much love in these parties and there is so much love on the qsmp that it is perfect to hold one i think #<- extremely biased

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hanasnx · 6 months

Text

some updates while i’m here. i miss you! whether you’re a casual enjoyer of my blog & i see you in my notes, or my mutuals, or my followers, i’ve been thinking of you :) rare vulnerable moment i do cherish this blog and all your well wishes. thank you very much. i was right, typing is a huge strain and taking a break has been very good for my hands, so i’m going to keep at it.

some things:

don’t be afraid to keep sending me asks! they’re a great joy to me, i love seeing a notif in the inbox. i’ve gotten a fair few already that i’m excited to respond to when i can come back.

i did post a fred weasley drabble and not that i have to explain myself but i wanted to say i’ve been watching the harry potter movies. i’ve never seen them in their entirety, and the earlier ones have always been christmas movies in my house so to speak so i figured id give them a fair shot. i did read the books, and i’ve seen bits and pieces of the movies (hence my interest in fred weasley when i was a tween, but seeing him again made me wanna write for him for the first time in years)

also! a very kind anon told me earlier that my response to someone wrongfully making an ai chat bot of my content was an overreaction. it was “not that deep,” i believe was the colloquial term used. so the inherent content theft of ai invading free creative spaces is solved everyone! well done! very special thanks to the anon that let me know i was overreacting towards something i am passionate about and had a strong feeling towards! wow :) i never would’ve seen it like that. genuinely i am sorry anon that you’re ugly irl and your mommy doesn’t love you, which is why you feel like you can’t have a backbone over certain things. maybe you should stop consuming the free content creators provide on tumblr because you feel so secure in criticizing the selfless service <3 it’s giving: “im an old bigot that thinks ppl must be talentless and stupid when they work at mcdonald’s, but i’m still going to eat the food from there.” you’ve been blocked btw so you’re not offended by my use of free will when making free content on the internet for your grubby little hands to get a hold of and your smooth brain to criticize my right to share my personal opinions.

because the internet is the way it is, getting “hate” online has never really bothered me since i’ve always been a person with a large enough platform for years. it’s very easy for me to ignore and block and never answer whoever has decided to send some worthless hate message. which is probably why i almost never get hate anymore but it does happen occasionally. this was different since it wasn’t an attack on me per se, more so someone trying to admonish me for having a fair reaction towards something offensive. so i’m here to tell you it’s alright to treat strangers on the internet as strangers. you’re allowed to reinforce boundaries. you’re allowed to tell people you do not appreciate their actions towards you, and don’t leave room for argument. i am a very direct person, which means i told that person firmly that they needed to delete that ai chat bot they made of my au without my consent. and i did it without remorse. and i was told “it wasn’t that deep.” well it was. and it is. it is that deep because it’s deep to me, and i know it’s something that happens to others and it is that deep to them too. so what’s the problem in it being that deep? there is none :) let things be deep. be sincere. it is very important.

also if you make ai chat bots without creator’s consent when using their content you’re a piece of shit and doing a disservice to the very person you’re trying to exalt. take a step back and reevaluate how ai harms your interests rather than progresses them as well as the creators you claim your respect and cherish. you’re a victim of propaganda, my friend! and i prolly wouldn’t have made this post if anon hadn’t said anything. so maybe they should’ve kept their mouth shut since they didn’t wanna see shit like this so bad lmfao

now that that’s out of the way, i am sending wet fat sloppy kisses to everyone’s lips tell me when you receive them

#fuck ai #indy lore #updates #tw vent

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80pairsofcrocs · 2 years

Text

baby scarab || 34

anon - reader getting anxious in public when there are too many ppl around? I used to anchor my hand in my dad's sweater for comfort

~~~

anon - I have a feeling when we do meet Peter again it's in an alley way, and Casper walks by and he's like oh hey y/n!! And sees them just sitting there and he's like,...okay

~~~

anon - Okay so this is about the murder of crows! What if one day Steven, Marc, and Jake are walking with Y/n and just talking then the murder of crows just swoops down on Y/n while their in the T pose, some in her hair and what not. Then they say "I AM THE GOD/GODDESS/ DEITY OF CROWS MOTHERF****RS" and starts running with the crows in their hair with even more crows following them. Sorry if this is weird! Bit I love baby scarab ❤️

~~~

anon - Request for baby Scarab series (I love ur series btw): Y/N and Marc/Steven/Jake go patrol. Y/n saves a child and takes them to their parents. After seeing that happy family reunion, she feels upset and wishes she had loving parents as a small child. Khonshu turns Y/N into a child while she's asleep. You can ignore/ delete this. Sorry 😅

~~~

A/N : these are all cute so imma make a mostly fluff chapter :))

masterlist - marvel masterlist - series masterlist

A/N : enjoy some weird bird stuff and peter finally meeting casper(kinda)!! also yay more patrolling!

please enjoy, and don't be shy if you want to be in the taglist, just ask <3, sorry for the long wait

playlist

pairings : steven grant x (platonic)reader, marc spector x (platonic) reader, khonshu x (platonic)reader, jake lockley x (platonic)reader

TW : medicine (pills), language, spidey stuff, fluff, more fluff, moon boys being dads, peter being peter, casper being casper, violence, car accident and a hostage(?). let me know if i missed anything

~~~

you were so thankful for the dreamless nights you’ve had the last two nights.

you tried your hardest to not to fall asleep, but marc always ended up bribing you into it.

now you have discord nitro. to marc’s dismay.

it was morning now, you having just woke up, jake laying under you as you had your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

heartbeats became very calming to you, now that you could hear them more clearly.

jake was still asleep though, which was a good thing because ever since you told them about the dream you had, and asked them those alarming questions, they were back to worrying.

only about your sleeping habits of course, they didn’t want you to be tired or not feel like yourself at all, they wanted you to feel well rested, and back to your usual self.

the person you were before you started being afraid of going to sleep.

they noticed that every now and then you’d peak around a corner, just claiming to have heard something when really you saw harrow and that alligator thing again.

they were watching you- someone was at least.

you didn’t know how or exactly why.

you were nervous to ask anyone too, since you’d noticed that talking about harrow made marc and steven uncomfortable and jake just refused to answer.

but if it was for you they might talk about it. but wouldn’t that be taking advantage of them?

no, because you’re not forcing them to talk about it.

but maybe they feel obligated to talk about it because it’s you.

you feel jakes breathing become a bit quicker, signaling that he was awake now, so you sigh and sit up beside him.

“how long have you been up?” is the first thing he groggily asks.

“just a few minutes” you say honestly.

“and did you-“

“yes, i slept fine” you cut him off, and he gives you a look.

you’re staring forward when they appear again, harrow next to the alligator.

you freeze in place and refuse to blink, scared you’ll end up back in that facility.

jake noticed your change in expression, your neutral one replaced with fear.

“y/n?” he doesn’t touch you, but he hovers his hand over your shoulder in case you need to be shaken out of anything.

it makes him confused when you shakily point at where you see them, and when he looks of course there’s nothing there.

“darling are you feeling alright?” you hear steven ask and you snap out of it, blinking rapidly as they disappear without a trace.

you just nod and turn to jake hesitantly. “i need to tell you guys something”

they all nod, the mirror on the nightstand showing both marc and steven.

“don’t freak out” you start. “but i keep seeing harrow. and an alligator” you say and marc’s the first to react.

“what? what do you- what do you mean? is it like before you got.. before you were taken?” he rants and you nod.

“yeah and it’s also about that dream i had”

they all go quiet after that, waiting for you to explain.

“i was.. i was in a mental hospital or something” you start while steven and marc glance at each other.

“you three said you were my doctors, and kept trying to convince me that this life i have didn’t exist” you say referring to what’s happening right now.

“he was there. he told me that casper was the reason i was there but he would never..” you trail off, all three men looking at you with different expressions.

steven was terrified, this dead man was plaguing your dreams now and making you afraid of them.

jake was full of rage, and if he could kill harrow a second time he most certainly would. without hesitation.

now marc, he was torn. he knew those questions you asked were unnerving, but he didn’t know you were actually being serious.

none of them did, so they didn’t think much about it.

they felt like idiots for not checking on you and making sure you were actually okay.

even though there was nothing they could do about it.

“it all just felt so real” you add, taking a breath and looking to jake.

“thank you for telling us” steven is the first to respond.

“it must have been hard”

“that’s what she said” you whisper, all three of them struggling to hold in a small laugh at your sudden response.

that’s when luna decides to jump up on the bed, and quickly curl up in jakes lap.

“buenos dias, gato” he says, scratching behind her ears.

you chuckle and watch as the other one jumps up too, this time just sitting in between you two on the bed.

“we still have to name her” you say, shaking your head.

“hm. what about cashew” jake suggests and you snort. the cat just blinks up at him.

“or ham” you speak up, the cat looking to you and blinking.

“this is going to be difficult” steven observes and you nod.

you notice jake slouch down a bit, signaling that steven was now present.

“bastet” another blink.

“cleopatra?” steven asks again, and getting another blink.

“you can’t just name everything after egyptians” marc tells steven and he scoffs.

“i can and i will, cracker”

“don’t call me a cracker”

“then you try naming her” steven gives up control, marc now fronting and just staring at the cat in his lap before shifting his gaze to the other one.

“i’m not naming it”

“she needs a name” you speak up and marc rolls his eyes.

“fine. joe”

“pfft- seriously?” you ask and marc gives you a look.

“steven jr”

“aw”

“pfft- seriously” marc mocks you and you smack him in the arm.

luna just continued to purr in marc’s lap while the other one started to lick her paw.

“what about oscar?”

“don’t name her after a hotdog, marc” you respond, and marc scoffs.

“may? can we name you may?” your words get no reaction from the cat.

you sigh and lean your chin on your fist, which is resting on your knee.

“this is impossible” you mumble.

“name her isaac”

“why? so you can drop an apple on her head?” you deny marc’s suggestion and you try to think of another one.

“star” you still get no response from the cat.

“travis the III” you and marc start taking turns suggesting names to the cat, wondering if she’d perk up at one.

“khonshu jr”

“luke”

“taweret”

“ethan”

“leia”

“pedro”

marc’s final suggestion made the cat look right up at him, while you sit there gaping at the two.

“pedro?” he repeats and the calico stands up to lightly walk over to him, leaving little spots on the blanket where her tiny feet were.

marc hesitantly touches the cat, now known as ‘pedro’.

“i can’t believe she wants to be named pedro” steven observes and you nod.

“so we have luna and pedro” jake says, marc still lightly rubbing his fingers over the calicos soft back.

“kid, how would you like to go on a little field trip?” marc suddenly says and you furrow your brows.

“he’s trying to ask you if you want to go to the market with us” steven translates and you nod.

“i ran out of pop tarts”

“we know, that’s why we’re asking” marc tells you and you smile, looking down at the kittens.

“when are we leaving?” you ask, and steven fronts again so he can talk to you properly.

“an hour?” he responds and you nod. “cool, since we need proper cat food so you stop feeding them salami” steven tells you and you scoff.

“but they love it”

“it’s bad for them”

“no it’s not”

“yes it is”

“no-“

“zip it. both of you” marc interrupts and you roll your eyes.

“get those things off you and get ready” he tells both you and steven, referring to the cats.

“they aren’t things-“

“just get ready or we aren’t getting you any pop tarts”

you were up in a flash, steven chuckling at you while you rushed to get ready for the day.

~~~

it was almost an hour later, and you were on your way back to the guys flat.

you had left just to get ready, saying bye to the kitties before you left with a pout.

you miss your new children.

so you had showered and gotten freshened up, just opting to wear comfortable clothing since it was just a trip to the store.

you heard footsteps going towards the door as you approach it, they were softer than marc’s and jakes so that means steven was still in control of the body.

the door opens and you see steven looking down and closing the door carefully after stepping out, not noticing your presence yet.

once the door clicks shut and he locks it, he notices you and flinches a bit.

“sneaky little thing, you are” he mutters, nodding for you to follow him as he starts towards the elevator.

you silently follow, it being a quiet ride down, and a quiet walk out of the building until you both get outside, the sidewalks crowded with people.

“why’s it so busy?” you ask, and steven shrugs.

“tourists”

“hm”

you almost get shoved only a few steps out, steven making sure to pull you close to him so that you don’t get hit.

“bloody idiots” you hear him mumble, and you snort.

you end up making it to the market fine, just being sure to dodge cranky tourists along the way.

it was considerably less busy in the store, while made you sigh in relief.

steven chuckles at you and grabs a basket before leading you around the store.

they only needed basic stuff, like bread or whatever.

plus cat necessities.

and of course your pop tarts.

steven patiently waited in line for you while you got your pop tarts, and his eyes widened when you brought back quite a few boxes.

quite a few being six. with four packages in each. two pop tarts in each package.

“don’t worry i’ll pay for them” you say and steven shakes his head at you.

“y/n?” you hear from behind you, making you turn around.

it was grace and casper, grace being the one to first notice you.

“hi miss hart, casper” you nod at them and they nod back.

“i already told you to call me grace” she chides, shifting her eyes to steven. “who’s this?” she asks.

“my name is steven. with a v” he introduces, earning a nod from grace.

“and you’re y/ns.. father?” she waves her had, gesturing for one of you to continue.

“something like that” steven shrugs and you nod.

you’re about to say something when there’s a loud crash from outside and screaming from all the people out there.

“what the..” you hear casper mutter and you back away from everyone once you realize that even stevens attention was focused outside.

you backed away to the bathroom, locking the door behind you and spotting a window.

perfect.

“khonshu” you call out quietly, and he appears in front of you.

“yes, spider child?” he says and you go to answer right away.

“can you give me the suit? just for a couple minutes i have to-“ he cuts you off by making the suit envelope your body, and just disappearing again.

“thank you” you mutter into thin air, letting the mask go over your face as you run out to open the window and crawl out of it.

you climb up onto the roof, seeing that there was a man, a small child with a knife to his throat, and a crowd around them.

you also notice the two cars that had collided off to the side.

you decided to jump for the kid first, landing with one hand on the ground and the other in the air, the crowd backing up to give you space.

the man holding the knife glares at you. “one more step and i slit his throat” he snarls at you and you shake your head, eyes narrowing.

“just let him go, and we can sort this out” you suggest and he shakes his head.

the little boy was trying his hardest not to cry, and you could tell.

“what do you want?” you ask the man, making him confused.

“what?”

“why are you here? what did this kid do to you?” you ask and you see the man lightly lose grip on the knife.

it was silent for a moment before you sense something on the roof above you, and then a web shoots out from above, the child sticking to it and being pulled upwards.

the man was quick to react, throwing the knife upwards and to the source, that being peter in his spider suit.

he was knocked back trying to dodge it, and the child went falling right back towards the ground.

it’s as if time slowed down- you shot a web out at a light post, thrusting yourself upwards to catch him, then falling and rolling to the ground, still clutching the kid in your arms.

you saw peter had disarmed and webbed the man to the wall, and is now helping the people in the car accident.

the kid in your arms was crying and clutching onto your suit, two adults running towards you two on the floor.

“is he yours?” you ask quietly to the adults, them standing a few feet away from you.

“yes- yes that’s our ben!” the mother exclaims, holding back tears.

you slowly stand up, letting go of the kid as he ran to his parents.

your shoulder hurt from the impact, making you hold it as the parents look back to you.

“thank you- thank you so much” the father says to you, all three of them going to turn around, the police approaching them as you just stare off with a smile.

with the help of peter, you saved that kid.

the first time you could do anything right- as the ‘spider vigilante’ to be precise.

peter was finished with the whole car situation, moving to come towards you so that he can help you.

“hey, are you okay?” he asks but he notices that your mind is elsewhere.

you felt a pang in your heart when those parents came over on the bridge of tears, thanking you for saving their son.

they were so.. well.. they were a family, that little boy had a family that rushed over the moment they knew their kid was safe.

you were jealous, but it wasn’t a bad jealous.

it was a sick feeling in your stomach, the kind that made your eyes tear up without your consent, the kind that made you feel that longing you always felt when you saw happy families.

that could’ve been you at some point.

and there would’ve been no one.

no a single person would come for you after you were safe.

not until now of course, but not when it mattered.

“we gotta go, the cameras are here” you hear peters voice, while he grabs your hand and leads you to an alley way, where your mask fades away only when you’re completely alone.

“hey- y/n. are you okay?” he snaps a finger in front of your face, making you come back into focus.

it was just then that he noticed the tears in your eyes, that his eyes softened, and only for a split second before three pairs of rushed footsteps coming towards you two.

peter stands tensely until you put a hand to his shoulder, signaling it was fine and that you knew them.

“y/n!” you hear stevens voice exclaim, him being the first to embrace you in a tight hug, you reciprocating it instantly.

“don’t you ever do that again, you hear me, young lady?” he starts. “but oh my gosh, that was so brave of you and we’re so proud of you” he takes a breath.

“but do you know how scared we were when you just disappeared?” he pulls away from the hug, holding you by your shoulders.

“but then again, you and.. that other..” he shifts his gaze to peter, mask still on who was just standing and observing.

casper just hesitantly waves to peter, who does the same. you had a feeling that casper would want to know who exactly he was.

“who-“

“i can explain everything, just not today” you nod and steven nods as well.

“marc and jake have a few words to share with you anyways” steven whispers to you and you cringe, steven stepping away as casper comes closer, his mom wide eyed behind him.

you put your arms out and he immediately throws himself at you, holding you close to him.

he had one arm around your waist and the other holding the back of your head, so that your face was buried in his neck.

“that was the most amazing thing i’ve ever seen but please be more careful” he whispers and you nod against him, your arms going to wrap around his neck.

“she won’t tell anyone, right?” you ask him referring to his mom.

“no, she’s just in shock” he chuckles and you do the same, breaking the hug.

“alright, we’ll we have to get going now” steven breaks the silence, the grocery bag by the entrance of the alley blowing in the wind.

“thank you” you say to peter, who nods and jumps from wall to wall until he gets to the roof.

“casper, you didn’t tell me y/n was-“

“yeah, it kind of defeats the whole anonymous superhero thing” you interrupt.

casper chuckles and walks backwards until he meets his mom, taking her hand and leading her away.

“i’ll see you” casper says and you nod, you and steven now following after him, but going in the opposite direction of the harts.

steven picked up the bag first, of course, and the suit left your body right before anyone could see it.

the news and everyone was still there, and so was the family, reminding you of your extremely short breakdown you almost had is peter hadn’t snapped you out of it.

the crowds everywhere made your breathing quicken, so you didn’t even think before taking stevens free hand in your own, trying to calm yourself down.

he didn’t mind either, just as long as you were comfortable.

steven smiled too, he noticed that you’d calmed down once you took your hand in his, therefore giving it a reassuring squeeze.

you quickly made it back home, away from the crowds and as steven is unlocking the door, you apologize.

“‘m sorry” you mumble, steven looking to you in confusion.

“for what specifically?” marc asks and you scoff.

“for.. uhm.. the hand thing” you mumble, not sure of what to say.

steven gives you a comforting smile and opens the door, both of you walking in, the kittens both asleep on the couch.

“don’t apologize-“

“for that” marc cuts in, steven putting a hand up to make him shut up.

steven sets the bag on the counter, you sitting up next to it.

“what i was trying to say is that it’s okay, don’t apologize”

“i didn’t make you uncomfortable, did i?” you ask and steven shakes his head.

“you could never”

“wanna bet?” you smile at him innocently and he chuckles.

steven suddenly went away, and was replaced by marc, which made your smile fade in the slightest, knowing he was going to have a talk with you about what happened.

you figured you could just escape to the bathroom and web the door shut until he calms down, but when you went to move away he put and arm on each side of you, resting on the counter to stop you.

you sigh and wait for him to speak, not expecting him to say what he did.

“i’m so proud of you” he starts, making you gasp softly. “you didn’t get hurt, did you?” he asks then shakes his head.

“nevermind- just, i.. you did so good out there” he tells you, and you feel your bottom lip shake so you bite it to stop.

“you did beautifully” he finishes, and that’s when the dam breaks, and you look down at your lap.

“oh honey, don’t- why are you crying?” marc asks softly, moving both his hands so that he’s holding your face, making you look back up at him.

“i thought you’d be mad again” you say through your tears, and marc shakes his head.

“i told you, i.. i trust you to do what’s right” he starts. “now how about we calm down and you can give pedro and luna their new toys” he says softly and you chuckle, gently pushing his hands away to wipe your tears.

“thank you, marc” you slip off the counter, marc stepping back to let you stand.

“jake got both of them matching sweaters” marc informs you and you laugh, digging into the bag to find all your regular groceries and finding two little light blue sweaters.

just plain blue, nothing special but they were still cute.

“the gatos deserve it” you hear jake and you chuckle before seeing him take the wheel.

the metaphorical wheel, of the body.

jake takes all the regular groceries out of the bag before going in the middle of the floor, and dumping all the cat stuff on the ground, you following ad the cats go to sit in front of him.

jake sits down on the ground and you do so next to him as well, looking through the assortment of cat toys.

aside from the cat food, and small litter boxes and litter.

the cats just stare at all the new toys with tilted heads, jake ripping the tags off everything and leaving them on the floor.

probably to make steven clean up later.

jake clicks his tongue a couple times, making luna go to him while pedro’s attention stays on the toys.

jake hands you one of the small sweaters, then goes back to luna who is batting at him.

you chuckle and put a hand out, pedro coming over to you and rubbing her face against it.

you grab her so that she’s sitting in front of you so that you can get the sweater around her neck and her paws through the holes.

when you finish, pedro looks up at you with her big green eyes and meows at you.

you smile and look to jake who had successfully put the sweater on luna as well, the two kittens matching.

~~~

it was a quiet night, and it was spent with you and jake playing with the small animals until they got too tired and fell asleep on each other.

you both had to move the toys and the trash so that nobody would trip on one.

which you could totally see that happening.

not to you- but to steven. he trips on thin air sometimes when he doesn’t have his grandma glasses.

he doesn’t completely fall though, it’s just a small hiccup.

you and jake were now just sitting on the bed after dinner, and you were beating his ass in uno.

“how are you so good at this?” he asks, you reversing it then adding a plus two.

you’re about to answer when there’s a tap at the window.

you both freeze and look over, and relax once you see a crow.

jake hums as you get up to open the window, the crow just flying in and landing on your shoulder, dropping a dime on the floor.

you turn to jake who’s looking at you weirdly.

“hey steven, is there a god of crows?” you ask and he hums in acknowledgment.

“well hathor is a crow but-“

“i think i’m the goddess of crows” you cut him off, another crow coming in and landing on your head, this one dropping a safety pin.

“never thought i’d live to see this” jake shakes his head.

“okay, go home, go back where it’s safe” you start, the crows chirping and flying out the window.

you close the window and smile to yourself.

“i see you’re making more friends” jake chuckles and you nod, scratching the dirt out of your hair and picking up your new gifts.

you set the shiny objects on the windowsill before going back over to jake.

“yeah, make fun all you want” you start, jake playing his card while you play yours after.

“just remember who’s beating your ass” you smile innocently at him and he scoffs.

“we’ll see, princesa, we’ll see”

~~~

you beat him. multiple times.

he got very frustrated.

like how couldn’t he beat a 16 year old girl at uno? it’s a game of chance really, it all depends on the cards you get.

even when he had two plus fours right at the beginning, he still lost somehow.

you eventually had to let him win so that he wouldn’t act like a cranky old man until you made it up to him.

he’s never going to let you forget that he beat you now, even though he knows full well that you let him.

the night ended with you falling asleep on him, at like 11.

he was on his back, while your head was tucked right underneath his chin, your legs on either side of him.

he had one arm around your back and the other cradling the back of your head.

it was comfortable for him.

it was comforting for him to hold you like this, since you trusted him enough.

he made sure you were actually asleep before going to sleep himself, but not before having a small chat with steven and marc.

marc was being 100% honest when he said he was proud of you.

they all were.

they saw right then and there that you were capable of so much, and that they were ere the ones slowing you down.

you weren’t stupid, you knew what you were doing.

they just couldn’t help but worry.

this doesn’t mean they don’t worry, it’s just that they know you’ll be okay.

as long as you come back to them.

as long as you come home.

~~~

A/N : cute but kinda rushed? ily all so much so thank you for the support!! seeya in two days!!!

also, heres the official results for the names, it was a close one! {link}

taglist ---

@alexloveskili @ihatemyselfmorethanmydepression @thebiggestsimpshrimp @guyinachair27 @astrobuzzsstuff @mooonlight-and-stars @moonlighting87 @mateihavenoidea @inactive-things @alondrashultz @femalemarvelself @queenthorin1 @haileymorelikestupid @jvdethirlwall @justtiredandvibing @winterfrostsarmy @themapoftinyperfectthings @littlebird101 @atzlena @httpslinow @arrowurboat @m-brekker @lifeandbandmembers-blog @adamcarlsenslvr @violet-19999 @seninjakitey @bestgirlpip @panic-in-the-multiverse @in-between-the-cafes @branolagar @bl6o6dy @annoyingmarvelreader @bee-a-cool-kid @buzzitsbeee @wintergirlsoilder2 @crow-carcass @you-bloody-shank @distinguishedmakerpandapatrol @magnificentcreatorpenguin @50shadesofcrocs @rayrlupin @kingshitonly @brekkers-desigirl @hutaos-gh0st @kayane28 @nevaeh-jasso @lizlil

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bookofmirth · 4 months

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Lele, I have a rambling though

We always have discussions about possibilities for SJM future books (especially acotar 5) and I always read interpretations that are done so very tastefully and with a lot of knowledge on text interpretation, book context and narratives

but the thing is… ppl always treat SJM as this super hiper mastermind and after HOFAS and how messy and not good it was (honestly it was terrible) … I’m a little afraid about acotar 5 and sjm choosing to go with the easiest way (which, for me, would be choosing Elriel - since with Gwyn she would have to treat her trauma her carefully and be more cautions on her narrative) and I don’t know if I see her doing it 😓

(Also… I would like to say as my last though of someone who is following her since 2018 - that SJM loves to write about powerful woman and the friendships between them and their bonds but to let the fandom be where it is today… young impressionable girls treating each other with such hostility and disrespect… I know she probably can’t say anything bc of contracts but man is a hard pillow to swallow that she “let” the fandom be where it is today… which is a horrible place.)

Anon, have some rambling thoughts of mine!!! hehehe

A big difference between acotar and hofas is how thoughtfully she generally treats the acotar characters. I've been thinking a lot about this the past few days and the main thing I dislike about hofas is how the plot and world building absolutely take over everything to the detriment of the characters. I cannot understate how much I dislike Bryce, and I've always pinpointed her lack of consistent values as the core reason why. hofas really, really emphasized that writing flaw. Not character flaw, but writing flaw.

People acting like sjm is some mastermind drives me crazy when we can see all the plot holes and inconsistencies and retcons. One of these days, someone should make a list of them. Anyway, she mentioned rereading the acotar series sometime last year, and I would bet you good money that she did so in order to see what she can use. She has said explicitly that she isn't great at world building and she has also said that she didn't plan the crossover until she was writing hosab. That means any connection we see between hofas and, for instance, acomaf, is a result of her going backwards to see what she can use. Not the other way around. She "planned" in the sense that she wrote really vague stuff in the first place so that she could use it how she wanted to later on. That has become really apparent to me with the crossover.

Like... for example, Mor's power is "truth". Vague as fuck, right? I would bet good money (again haha like I'm rich) that sjm didn't even know what that meant in acomaf other than "I need a reason for the mortal queens to trust Mor". And then she'll figure out the mechanics and technicalities later and the fandom will call her brilliant for it. *facepalm*

I don't see e*riel being easy at all. But that's all I will say about that hehe.

Gwyn's story aligns perfectly with what sjm has already been doing in acotar, with Rhys and Lucien, and to an extent Nesta. I don't have any concerns there because I think her strength is in her characterization. (CC is just... another beast.) There was an interview she did a while back where she talked about the movie Promising Young Woman and it really emphasized to me that sjm's particular brand of feminism revolves around gender and sex. This isn't a critique, just a statement of what I've observed. My point is that she is very aware of rape culture and has strong feelings about it and gives characters the space to heal on page, and so that's not really a concern of mine, especially in acotar.

To your final point, I got SO frustrated the other day in the group chat, @sabrinasam said it was the most frustrated she's ever seen me haha. I'm so tired of sjm and the publisher being coy about this!!!! But mostly, I am so, so sick of people in this fandom treating each other like shit just because they don't agree on ships. Like it's one thing to have notps and brotps and to be annoyed by or even hate certain characters. It's a completely different thing when people feel totally comfortable going out in public and treating other actual, real, human people like absolute garbage because of those feelings.

Azriel is never gonna lick your fucking home entertainment center!!! Get the fuck over it!!!!!!!!!

I don't think that sjm is at fault for this because I think that people are responsible for their own actions. I also fully believe that the people taking screenshots and mocking them publicly (of people who probably have them blocked anyway, fucking stalkers) or just outright attacking people on different platforms would be doing that exact same thing whether it was about sjm or not. Like you could just stick them in another fandom, and these people would act the same deplorable way.

Anyway. I'm fucking tired. I'm still excited for acotar5 and will continue that series and when I was doing a lil voice chat with my friends for hours last weekend it revived my enjoyment of acotar and ToG. The fandom just makes it a lot of work, trying to have fun.

#I was watching Will and Grace the other day #and Jack calls his crotch his Home Entertainment Center #I repurposed that joke because I laughed so hard #antielriel #ask #anon #hofas #hofas spoilers #acotar #fandom wank #acotar fandom #sjm critical

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bliphany · 10 months

Text

It’s not A confession and refusal scene. It’s a DOUBLE confession and refusal scene…

(A rough analysis of the final scene of Good Omens season 2 finale)

I think Aziraphale in character is such a rule-follower that he always needs a “cover” to “allow” himself to choose Crowley. (So far… at least)

We’ve seen that many times in season 1, where Aziraphale often relied on Crowley to “make this okay for me to say yes” like many people have mentioned in fandom. He chose to go back to Earth at the end and asked questions about the ineffable plan due to the same reasoning. And it made him happy because at that moment he found a rule that he could follow which also allowed him to stand with Crowley. The forever conflict was temporarily resolved. After that, since heaven and hell temporarily left them alone, he happily ignored that for a short while.

But at the very end of season 2, what Matatron offered sounded like exactly that. The perfect, magical solution once and for all. There could be rules that Aziraphale could made and followed which also allowed him to be together with Crowley. And they didn’t have to worry about the next big war against humanity once he and Crowley worked together. That’s why he clung onto it desperately in confrontation with Crowley at the confession scene. “I don’t think you understand what I’m offering you here.”

When he said “you can come back… to heaven, to…* to everything. Like the old times, only even nicer.”

I’d like to think that, he didn’t mean it as “like the old time when we worked together on earth but nicer because you’ll be an angel” but “like the old time when we were both angels in heaven but nicer because now we have this 6000 years of connection between us can’t wait to see what we can create together as beautiful as nebulas”

*also, was I the only one who thought Aziraphale stopped himself from saying come back to me here? He really hadn’t had the ability to choose something just because he wanted them, had he… there had to always be some “cover” for it. The greater good. The right thing to do. To save earth and humanity. Never himself.

I remember in one Dimension 20 episode or adventuring party, ppl were talking about Lawful Good characters might be the most difficult ones to made interesting. And Emily proposed that, maybe they found an older or alternate set of rules and they decided that were better… I’ve always thought it was a clever take.

And that’s what Aziraphale didn’t have. Or rather, he now was given the opportunity to make them. On the other hand, Crowley was totally vulnerable in that scene, he dropped every cover every mask he’d used to convince Aziraphale in the past. In Crowley’s confession there were You-and-Mes, no cover, no mask. And I love him for it. The tragic thing was, that also unintentionally cut the “communication channel” they’d been dancing in the past 6000 years. (Interesting that they also developed their own dance for apologies…)

It was not just a confession scene, it was a double confession (and double refusal… sadly) scene. How many of you also thought that Aziraphale was trying to confess and asked Crowley to be together with him with that “great news”? And, in his pov, he got a “tell me you say no” and that could be as painful as the refusal he gave to Crowley. That’s why he turned passive aggressive in the coming confrontation (which was still not nice but I understand) and that’s also why he interrupted Crowley in the first place. Imagine in fics where they proposed at the same time… but make it go painfully wrong…

After Crowley’s confession, Aziraphale said “come with me, we can make a difference” to me it was his confession too.

And remember when he put his hand on Crowley’s shoulder seeing Gabriel and Beelzebub being together??? He was thinking about himself and Crowley and remember why heaven seemed to have to allow it??? Because MATATRON SAID SO.

People have amazing interpretations such as: “Aziraphale choosing between Crowley and Heaven” or “Aziraphale choosing between Crowley and Angel!Crowley”

Now I propose:

There’s a conflict between two equally heartfelt and the most-vulnerable-they-could-get confessions, both being rejected by the other.

I’m not saying I don’t agree with one a bit more than the other, but I’d like to point out that, it wasn’t just like Crowley was only the confess-er and Aziraphale the reject-er. They were both at the same time.

Then, Crowley said “you can’t leave you bookshop” and Aziraphale replied “nothing last forever”

I think, in this exchange of words, Crowley was desperately trying to find an excuse for Aziraphale to stay on earth. We’re back to where Crowley always finds a way to make it okay for Aziraphale to agree with him again. And Aziraphale replied: “Oh, Crowley, nothing last forever” which MADE CROWLEY PUT BACK HIS SUNGLASSES AND THEN LEAVING.

What Aziraphale trying to say, I’d like to believe, was “we being together as angels in heaven is so worth it that the bookshop is nothing compared” which explained his emotion-charged way of saying this sentence and his shock seeing Crowley leaving after that. If Crowley was back to their 6000 dance by mentioning bookshop as a cover/desperate attempt, Aziraphale only now slipped into his vulnerable self without excuses and covers (except Matatron’s offer of course) saying he didn’t need this bookshop if he could be together with Crowley both in heaven (remember this was Aziraphale, who loved everything human created and accumulated them, speaking) and what he got after that act? Crowley put back his sunglasses and left after saying “good luck”

On the other end, Crowley probably and rightfully interpreted “nothing last forever” as all his memories and experiences on earth were disposable compared to the power he could get in heaven.

One is “nothing last forever (except you and me) the other “nothing last forever (including you)”

Really, who wrote a scene where both characters confessed and still broke up? It was an unique kind of painful that I think yeah okay… only this two can hurt me like this.

#good omens season 2 spoilers #gos2spoilers #good omens meta #good omens season 2 #neil gaiman

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