#this is gonna make me hit on a guy that is probably taken isn’t it

[jeanbie]

IF I LAY HERE (WOULD YOU LIE WITH ME?) ★ masterlist.

pairing: eren x reader

genre: best friends-to-lovers-au, actor au, fluff mostly | warnings: fem!reader | wc: 2.6k

note: hey. i still love u guys and i am still pining over aot. will never stop probably. anyway, this was an older fic i wrote but i'm handing it down to eren! title is taken/inspired from chasing cars by snow patrol (my fav song)

⏤ Eren has had enough - it's been four months since he's last seen you, and he's not going to let his fame status keep him from seeing you any longer. He just hopes that you feel the same way when you see him again.

Eren was taking a pretty big risk, he knew that.

It was risky taking any step out of his apartment at any moment; he’d think he was safe until he made it to the end of the road, earphones snug in his ears, and the flash of a camera behind the bushes in the corner of his eye blinds him back to his front door in a twisted shame. 

Granted, he’d expected it to be worse now that he'd booked a plane ticket and made a rather hasty, in-the-moment journey to the airport and on a plane with no layover. Usually when Eren takes a journey overseas, there’s at least one or two fans hiding in the corner of the suites waiting for him, or someone on the plane who’d recognise his face.

For this, he’d suck it up and take a photo. It was better to have good PR and be a little bit pissed off that he’d been discovered, than to have bad PR and to be known as the actor from Attack on Titan who didn’t give a damn about the people who essentially made him and his friends famous.

But Eren thought the risk was worth it this time. The plane touched down in a different country, and from there, it was an hour long train journey to a station he didn’t know anything about to meet a friend of yours he’d only seen in Instagram pictures.

You were at university now, a face he saw on a screen rather than a face he quite literally saw every day months before. It had been four months since Eren had seen his best friend, and fuck anybody who was going to make him wait a second longer before seeing you again.

You were his greatest risk, but it was worth it. You were worth it.

“Fuck, it’s insane to actually be meeting you right now.”

Frank is a good guy, ginger with circle glasses resting on the end of his roundish nose. He led Eren out of the train station, offering to pull his suitcase for him. “I mean, I’m a huge fan.” Followed by a sigh and a quiet, “Who isn’t…?”

Eren smiled at him, squinting in the sun as it hit his eyes in the direction of Frank’s face. “Thanks. I hear a lot about you, too.”

Frank grinned, whipping his head towards Eren. “All sexy and scandalous things, I hope. You know, none of us believed Y/N when she said she knew you. We thought the pictures were Photoshopped, you know how she is.” They both paused by the side of the road waiting to cross, “Shit, she’s gonna freak out when she sees you.”

That was three minutes ago, but Eren's still playing that sentence on a loop in his head. She's gonna freak out when she sees you.

He walks alongside Frank down one of the streets, past a redundant furniture store that quirks his brows. He’s missed it here, and how unbelievably, shockingly awful it all looks when you’re not looking at picturesque photos of it online.

“I thought you’d know that Y/N’s my best friend,” Eren says thoughtfully. He pauses as Frank does as a car zooms past when they’re about to cross. “I mean, people know. The photos got leaked, all of them.”

“Hey, give me a break,” Frank says dramatically. “I only really became a super fan three months ago. I'm more into Levi, you know how it goes. And yeah, I figured it out eventually. Finally, I understood why so many people at this uni wanted photographs with her and to be her best friend…”

Eren frowns. “Is it bad? She doesn’t tell me this stuff on the phone. I mean, they go crazy online when she posts pictures and we interact, but I didn’t…”

Frank shakes his head and grins at Eren as the words die out in his mouth.

“Nah, don’t panic. It’s not that bad. If anything, she might get a kick out of the fame. Trust, there’s always gonna be the girls who hate her because she’s friends with you and that’s like, what, threatening to their fantasy? But she loves you a lot, and a friendship like yours…it’s kinda like family, you know?”

Eren feels his stomach flip, butterflies going haywire. These butterflies are bitter and relentlessly fast, his heart racing that extra bit quicker. He likes the sound of family. He doesn’t like the way Frank implies it, because if Eren is ever going to consider you as family, it won’t be as his sister.

You’ve never been his sister, even when you became part of his family growing up on special occasions, or even just on a daily basis when you came to visit. There were times his family called you their own, but you were never his sister. It was different than that; you both knew it but never dared acknowledge it.

Frank makes small talk until they make it to the student accomodation you currently live at, and because Frank knows basically everybody, a student comes to the gate to let them both in. They’re nice and tall, wearing an Aston Villa shirt that Eren remembers looks a lot like your dad’s back in the day. Might be the same kind, might be a vintage.

He smiles at him, because maybe this guy knows Eren, but then the guy just turns back into the common room and doesn’t come out again. Frank doesn’t live here - he lives in a flat of his own around the corner, but Frank might as well be a resident here. He lets himself in towards the lift and shoots a text to one of your flatmates.

“Apparently she’s in the shower,” Frank says casually. He locks his phone, taps his foot as the lift rises, “Let’s hope she doesn’t stride out completely stark naked as you’re in there.”

He almost blushes, “Ha, yeah.”

He declines to mention the times you two have showered together, the time you went skinny dipping together when you were seventeen. Those were things that might end up getting misunderstood, and those are his memories he’d like to keep a secret. He says nothing, nothing but a thank you when he enters your flat with Frank and takes a different turn to the left whereas Frank goes right, towards the kitchen.

Your room is at the very end, your name on the door in stickers from a set you got from the market, and from inside, he hears the music in the bathroom. The door opens silently and closes with the same volume, and Eren manages to wheel his suitcase to the end of the bed and plonks himself down.

As expected from pixels on the screen, your room looks better in person - white walls and a bed set that’s white and covered with little peonies. Above your desk, Eren recognises all your photos together, new polaroids of you and the friends you’ve made at university who Eren always felt kind of threatened by. He smiles to himself, and rests his head against the wall your bed is attached to. From here, he can see the bathroom door in the mirror on the opposite wall, but he knows you’ll only see his feet when you come out.

Speaking of which; the song playing in the bathroom ends suddenly and the shower water has stopped running. Eren hears the toilet flush and his heart starts to race.

Four months of falling asleep on Facetime and texting when there was no time left in the day, and now, here he is, on your bed, waiting for you to step out and… And, then what?

Maybe you wouldn't even want him here. Maybe you were happier now that Eren was travelling the world with his other friends and film crew while you were still here, in a new city with new friends and a new life. Maybe the memory of Eren was burdensome to you. Worse - maybe he was something you felt you had to remember but didn’t really want to.

Eren's always been scared of the rejection he might receive from you. He might be a dream for fans across the world, but there’s a split second where Eren feels like he might not be good enough for you. He’s the world to other people. But you deserve the whole galaxy, and he’s afraid that’s something that he might not ever be able to give you, even with all the money and the fame.

The bathroom door opens and in two seconds, the light is shut off and he hears you sigh.

“Jesus, Frank, you gotta stop letting yourself in here without telling me,” your voice says. “Good thing I’m semi-decent. Usually I’m not.”

“No fun,” Eren teases, and silence follows. There’s a pause, and Eren cocks his head, his left cheek on his shoulder, waiting for you to click and appear in front of him.

Suddenly, he hears small but quick thuds across the carpet and Eren feels his chest tighten with a nostalgic feeling when you come into view with wide eyes, damp hair and nothing but a bra and those stupid black worn leggings you refuse to throw out.

The grin that reaches Eren's eyes now aches as he laughs at you, at the way you gape at his presence. It takes a moment, a moment of what feels like could be the rejection that Eren absolutely fears, but then you smile so wide that Eren feels it in his stomach.

“Holy shit!” you exclaim loudly, bringing a hand to your mouth as you hurry towards the bed. It dips beneath your knees and Eren rises up to a more comfortable position. “What the fuck!”

He laughs out loud, and when Eren wastes zero time in bringing you into his arms, hugging you tightly.

“Careful, my hair’s all wet,” you squeak.

“Don’t care.”

He really doesn’t. There’s probably going to be a damp spot on his clothes after, but that’s okay. You groan loudly with happiness as you hug him in return as tightly as he is hugging you, your weight on his lap and your arms around his neck.

Eren smiles so wide, sighing with content into your neck. Here, he smells the marshmallow body wash on your skin, the fragrance of your hair that kind of reminds him of Cabbage Patch babies.

“You smell good,” he mutters. You laugh quietly, squirming when his nose sniffs across your neck like one would kiss. “I don’t.”

“You do, you always smell good,” you reply. One sniff, he laughs, “See!”

“Mmm,” he plays along, “the sweet smell of planes and trains and jet lag.”

That makes you laugh, and at the mention of jet lag, Eren realises he could probably fall asleep like this given the chance. He has missed this, missed you, so fucking much. The emotions are overwhelming. 

Eren kisses behind your earlobe, and then just underneath your jaw. That’s new. Eren was always a cheek-kiss kind of best friend, but never this.

You’re not complaining. Your head drops to one side, almost giving him more access to the space free, and he occupies it. Those fucking butterflies; Eren feels sick with nerves as he kisses you, under your chin and across your neck, on that spot on your collarbone you found out tickled after Seven Minutes in Heaven in Year 8.

Maybe your fingernails in his hair are a way of you telling him to stop - it’s something he can think about tonight if he can’t fall asleep, something he doesn’t care to think about when he kisses on your actual jawline, to your cheek and the corner of your mouth, your cupid’s bow.

He moves away with a blush that matches your own, but maybe you can’t see his in the colour of your fairy lights. He plays with the dazed confusion on your face as he moves the hair from across your face to around your ears, smiling and raising his eyebrows.

“Your hair is so fucking wet,” he sniggers boyishly.

“I told you,” you shrug. You shrink, relaxed, “Fuck, why are you here? I mean, I’m literally so happy, but… Are you gonna get in trouble for this?”

“I dunno,” he admits. “Maybe, probably. I mean…the guys know I’m here. Jean drove me to the airport with Armin.”

“That’s not what I mean, though.”

Eren sighs loudly. “Yeah, I know. Frank told me all about the girls.”

“Little fucker. Is he here? I’ll punch him for mentioning it to you. It’s honestly fine. It's only a few. Most are really nice!”

“You’re my best friend for life, it’s important to me that you’re not uncomfortable by--”

“I’m not,” you assure him, hands trapped in his hair. You frown and try to change the subject, “Damn, this got long. Didn’t look long over the phone.”

“I've been growing it out,” Eren replies. “Heard you fancied Keanu Reeves, couldn’t handle the competition.”

“Ha!” you retort. “Simp.”

“For you,” frowns Eren dramatically.

Conversation fizzles comfortably, to the point where you both forget that Eren's underneath you and your legs are wrapped like a koala around his middle.

The fact that this is normality for you both is ignored. You’ve done worse things together. Eren even knows that the bra you’re wearing now is one he bought for you, half as a joke, half not. That could be why Eren feels the way that he does, why the confusion wraps around his body and traps him.

Eren knows that the butterflies in his stomach don’t just appear because you’re his best friend he hasn’t seen in a while. He knows what they mean when they flutter when your name pops up when you’re calling him, when an interviewer tries to catch him out by bringing you up in another interview that you don’t need to be mentioned in.

Eren knows that coming here was worth the confusion, and the nerves, and the fact that this will be a headline when it gets out. EREN YEAGER GOES TO VISIT HIS BEST FRIEND…BUT ARE THEY MORE? Or worse, NETIZENS HAVE PROOF THAT A.O.T EREN IS DATING HIS BEST FRIEND Y/N…

He doesn’t want to hurt you. That’s why he feels scared. For you to be scandalised by an article online that caught him out in his feelings, he knew it wasn’t fair. Eren might be too afraid to say he’s in love, and too afraid to find out if you feel it too, if all those years of confused relations and flirtations meant anything, but he’d risk those feelings and the headlines if it meant being able to spend one more day with you.

Eren's got a week and a half with you. Something’s gotta give within this week. He doesn’t want to go back to filming with more regrets than he came here with, and so for now, he’ll just have to swallow those butterflies back down when they pour out of his mouth.

Right now, he can’t afford to be caught out. It has to be said on his own terms, when the timing is perfect. It has to be perfect, because it’s what you deserve. It has to be perfect, because if it isn’t, then Eren doesn’t think it will be worth it.

Losing you to a headline and a butterfly is out of the question. You hop off him and shrug on a jumper from out of your wardrobe. If you noticed his unease, then you didn’t mention it. He almost wants to cry, wants the confusion to go away for the night so he can enjoy being here.

Fuck.

For now, he thinks as he follows you with an arm around your shoulders out of your bedroom and towards the kitchen to meet the others, he’ll just have to fake it 'til he makes it. Just like always. Put on a face, put on a show, until it all feels worth the spillage. He can’t let the butterflies escape yet.

It has to be perfect, and until then, he’ll just have to be patient, even if it breaks his heart more by pretending.

#eren #eren yeager #eren jaeger x reader #eren jaeger #eren x reader #eren yeager x reader #eren fluff #attack on titan #aot #eren fanfic #aot fanfic #attack on titan fanfic #snk #shingeki no kyojin #aot imagine #snk imagine #ittojean #eren actor au #aot actor au #jeanbie

[hellfirenacht]

Wing Man Part 3

A/N: This fic is all vibes, no plot so it's hard to write lol. I have a few ideas now thanks to the wonderful @crocwork-clockodile and @hellfiredarling 💜

As usual, typos are fixed live and in post lol

Fic Summary: Steve ‘the Hair’ Harrington is your best friend, and is constantly striking out. Sick of this, you two make a deal; you’ll wing man for each other. Hooking Steve up with dates is easy, but he finds himself struggling to find you a date. At least, until Dustin starts talking about his new cool friend Eddie. 

Chapter Summary: You really should be trying to flirt, but somehow you and Eddie can only ever talk about Chris Morrison.

5k words

Part 1 Part 2

Steve did not show back up for at least a half hour after he ‘went to the bathroom’. Had you not been in your current situation, you would have made fun of him for being ‘backed up’ or something along those lines.

But in all honesty, you hardly even noticed that he was gone. When Eddie dropped the puck the world had faded into a whirlwind of clacking, yelling, and pitting children against each other. With the sudden death match, Dustin had won. You had taken Mike's place, giving him a condescending pat on the head. He hadn’t been pleased about the situation, but at least it kept him from saying whatever rule-grudge that he held against Eddie.

To your surprise, Eddie had stuck around to watch the match between you and Dustin. You tried not to be too nervous as the match went on, but your freshman friend was your saving grace even as he kicked your ass.

“Eddie’s been the leader of Hellfire for years now.” Dustin said, dropping the puck down and hitting it. “He’s always been the DM.”

“Except for Chris Morrison.” you said.

“Yeah except that guy.” Dustin nodded.

“He started the club, but I made it the merry band of bandits and misfits that it is today.” Eddie said, his hands resting against the side of the table, leaning forward. You’d only been chatting with him and Dustin for a few minutes, but you had quickly learned that Eddie was not the type to stay still for very long.

“You’re gonna get your finger smashed if you keep your hand there.” you said, glancing at how close his fingers were to the smooth surface of the rink. “You’re putting a lot of trust in geometry that this puck isn’t going to crush your hand. It’s already tried to kill me once.” You doubted that the heavy silver rings on his fingers would help at all.

Eddie looked down at his hands and pulled back, just in time for the puck to nearly hit where his fingers had been. “Shit, I didn’t even notice.”

“I notice everything.” You said, not noticing as Dustin smacked the puck at an angle that went directly into your goal. “I notice some things.”

Dustin laughed, and Eddie even grinned at the joke. With that point it was game set and match, or something like that.

“Alright, I’m going to go win some tickets now.” Dustin said, putting the clacker? Paddle? Not-Hockey Stick? Down. You still didn’t know what it was called, but luckily air hockey probably wouldn’t come up again later.

You expected Eddie to leave again, but instead he leaned back against the table, now free to let his fingers dangle without fear of being crushed.

“So you really were interested in Hellfire when you were still in school?” he asked, tilting his head over at you. That same distant and unreadable expression on his face. You really wished that you knew what he was thinking right now.

“Yeah, I saw you guys always having fun so I thought I wanted to try.” you said. “But, you know. Chris Morrison.”

“Forget about Chris Morrison.” Eddie turned towards you, standing upright and looking down at you. How did he feel so tall all of the sudden? How did he keep doing that? What magic switch was he able to turn on and off in his brain to make him go from ‘just a guy’ to ‘hey, I’m in charge here.’? “What made you have an interest in Dungeons and Dragons?”

“The dragons first, and then the dungeons.” It was the first thing that popped into your head, and you immediately realized it was maybe a little stupid and sarcastic. To be fair, you also were a little stupid and sarcastic, but with the way he was looking at you, Eddie wanted a real answer. The look on his face was actually a little funny, the way his whole face fell in annoyance.

Right, he didn’t know you. You didn’t know him. He was still trying to decide if you were some sort of friend or foe. You suspected that if Dustin hadn’t chatted with you so easily through your match with him Eddie wouldn’t have bothered talking to you more.

Maybe you should fire Steve and make Dustin your wing man instead.

He didn’t immediately leave though, which made you assume that you were being given a second chance to give him a real answer.

“Alright, I played a lot of make-believe as a kid.” you said. “Then as I got older, people stopped playing, but I wasn’t ready to be done. Then when I heard about this club where you could play make-believe again, I thought it would let me have that feeling again. I thought it’d be cool to, I don’t know, have people to play with again.”

It was a childish answer, but it was a real one. Everything in your life after middle school had been a steady monotonous stream of ‘work, home, work, school, home, school function, work, home’.

“Hellfire Club isn’t Make-Believe Club.” Eddie said, still staring you down. “Yeah, it’s a fantasy game but we take it seriously. It’s not all princesses and fairy tales.”

Actually, this guy might be getting on your nerves now.

“You’re taking my answer awful personally.” you said, straightening up under his gaze. You didn’t care how intimidating he was trying to be right now, he had pissed you off. “You asked why I wanted to play, I gave you my answer. You don’t have to like it, but there it is.”

He seemed taken aback by your bluntness. He blinked, his round eyes shifting to something else. “You’re right.” he said finally with a subtle laugh. “That was a dick thing to say. I really sounded like Chris Morrison for a second.”

“Yeah, you did.” you agreed. “You always this cynical about people?”

“Well, when you’re the town freak it comes with the title.” he shrugged.

“Does it come with a sash too? Or perhaps a crown?”

“No, unfortunately Hawkins High didn’t have that in the budget this year.”

“You should take that up with the student council.”

“Or City Hall.”

He was smiling at you now, and you hated how that smile was brighter than any of the flashing lights of the arcade. The longer you looked at him, the more attractive he got. God, you were going to kill Steve for delivering something you couldn’t have.

Eddie’s demeanor changed as you two bantered, no longer on edge now. Now that he seemed sure that you weren’t here to cause problems or were just looking to laugh at the freaks, his stance was much more relaxed. You looked him over again, taking advantage of his gaze drifting to where two other members were hunched over an arcade cabinet.

He had long wavy brown hair, and you tried to place how you could have missed that in school. Surely you would have remembered someone like him, right? It felt so much like you were missing something, but you couldn’t place where you knew him. It was going to drive you insane.

“So it looks like I’m done here.” You jumped as Steve appeared behind you. You looked over at him, your face reading with panic at the idea of him ditching out on you now. Yeah, things were going a lot better without him here, and he had not been very helpful-

Okay, maybe he didn’t need to be here to help with your attempt to flirt but you still weren’t exactly eager to be left alone.

Eddie looked between the two of you and you turned to Eddie. “I’ll be right back, I’m gonna see him off.” You said.

“Right, yeah.” Eddie nodded. He was on his guard again and you felt bad that Steve’s presence caused that.

Eddie and Steve looked at each other, a tension between the two of them. For five full seconds they just stared at each other with you in the middle, wondering what the actual fuck was going on.

That’s when Eddie threw up his hands over his hand in an imitation of horns and sputtered at Steve who was immediately taken aback. It was so out of left field, and you let out a laugh before covering your mouth and grabbing Steve and dragging him away towards the entrance.

“What was that about?” you asked as you two stepped outside. “And where the hell were you for the past half hour?”

“I was giving you space because you weren’t going to get anywhere with me around.” Steve said, looking back over his shoulder. Eddie had disappeared into the arcade with his club. “He really does live up to his nickname.”

“Nickname? You’re trying to set me up with a high schooler with a nickname?” You sighed.

“Yeah, and you were basically drooling over him the whole time you were talking so, you know, you’re welcome about that.” Steve said. “Everyone called him a freak in school so, Eddie ‘the Freak’ Munson.”

“Yeah, he mentioned something about being the town freak.” you said. “Why’s he a freak exactly?”

Steve tilted his head, as if he couldn’t tell if you were joking or serious. “He runs a club called Hellfire, plays that weird game you and Dustin keep talking about, and just- look at him! With the long hair and the chains and metal patches.”

“According to you, I was looking at him.” you snorted. “So he plays games and dresses differently and has taste in music. Doesn’t make him a freak.”

“Right, I forgot you’re a total weirdo who’d be into that.”

“He was your idea!”

Steve couldn’t argue with that. All the things that he would have found off putting to him in high school now seemed to parallel and fit with someone who he now considered a close friend. He’d been wrong about a lot in the past year, maybe he’d been wrong about Eddie too.

“So are you gonna actually flirt with him when I leave or are you just gonna stand there and make small talk?” Steve asked, crossing his arms. “I introduced you two, at least tell me you’re going to put in the effort.”

You winced and glanced back to the arcade, you couldn’t see Eddie but you knew he was still in there.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Steve gawked at you. “This whole thing was your idea and you’re not even going to try?”

“Listen, Steve, I like him. I do. That’s the problem. You actually hit the nail on the head, and he is absolutely my type.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“I’m not his type.” you admitted. “See, I know guys like Eddie. I’ve fallen for guys like Eddie. Funny thing about a lot of male weirdos, freaks, and outcasts, is that they still loooove themselves some popular girls. Girls like that love them because they’re trying to either fix them or piss off their parents. Freak guys don’t like weirdo girls.”

“You’re being the biggest dingus in the world and I think you’re full of shit.” Steve said bluntly. “Nice try, but you’re gonna go in there and flirt with him. Did he actually say that he was into that type?”

“Well, no but-”

“But nothing!” Steve sighed. “Listen, you’re cute, okay? I’ve seen what you look like when you’re not at work.” He gestured to your outfit. “If I took you to a party or a bar I’d be able to help you get at least six numbers by the end of the night.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “So why are you so bent out of shape about Eddie?”

“Because you’re picky, and you’re my friend.” It was a surprisingly nice sentiment. “I’m fine dating around while I figure out what I want, but you’re not the same. You need someone who is going to understand what you’re talking about, and he is the only person in Hawkins who would also bite a head off a bat.”

“You know, everyone wants to talk about how Ozzy bit the head off a bat but no one wants to talk about how that whole thing actually happened-” you started.

“Nope. Not me. Don’t tell me, tell him.” Steve cut you off. “I should be telling you that talking about biting animal heads is not the best way to flirt but he might be into it. Just promise me you’ll at least try okay?”

Steve gave you a pleading look, and you couldn’t say no. You didn’t have the heart to. He was right, you’d given up before you’d even tried. Steve went out of his way to hand pick a potential date for you, someone he never would have even bothered talking to before. You had to try.

You breathed in the cool night air deeply, holding it before exhaling slowly. “Alright, I’ll try.” you promised.

“I expect you to tell me everything tomorrow!” Steve said as he started walking towards the parking lot you found yourself following him, your body reacting to all the times you two had parked next to each other at work.

“Yeah, yeah, you get first dibs on any kiss and tell!” you shot back. “After the details you gave me from your dates, I promise I’ll be worse.”

Steve pulled you in and gave you a hug, and you squeezed him tightly in return. You never would have thought that Steve Harrington of all people would end up such a good friend, but you were glad he was there. You two said your goodbyes before he got into his car. You waited until he’d pulled safely out of the parking lot before turning back into the arcade.

Just go in there, crash the Hellfire Club meeting again, and shamelessly flirt with Eddie Munson. Three things, that’s all you needed to do.

You pushed the doors of the arcade open and walked back inside.

You wander around the arcade.

You’re alone.

Shit.

There was no sign of Eddie or any of the Hellfire Club. You were completely alone in the arcade now and there was a pang in your stomach. You had told Eddie you’d be right back, but he was gone. Maybe your comment about still wanting to play had totally fucked over your chance to talk to him more after all.

You made your way back outside, just in time to see a van peel out of the parking lot. Your eyes widened when you saw Dusting looking out the window with an apologetic look and mouthing what you assumed to be the word “Sorry”.

Eddie must have gathered up the club to go somewhere else. You wanted to be fine, you wanted to shrug it off as you had every other time you’d failed to impress a guy, but you felt disappointed. Really disappointed. Sure you’d only talked to the guy for a half hour, most of which was spent talking trash as you all played air hockey, but you’d had fun. More fun than you’d had in a while with a guy, Steve notwithstanding.

It felt like Chris Morrison all over again.

You sighed to yourself and made your way to the car. Of course the second you wanted to try you ended up alone again.

Well, that killed it for tonight. You pushed the rejection out of your mind and made your way back to your own car, thinking about how you were going to tell Steve that you’d blown your chance.

Eddie Munson didn’t know what to make of the fact that Steve Harrington of all people was at the arcade. Popular? Played sports? Someone like him didn’t hang around at the arcade, not under any normal circumstances. The only thing that made sense about him being there was that he was with a girl, one that didn’t match up with the normal type that someone like Steve should be dating.

He had planned on avoiding Steve, choosing to focus on his club rather than antagonize the former king of Hawkins high. Really, he did. But then that shrimp Henderson had made his way over to Steve and his date. The kid already talked about Steve too much as it was, always going on about how cool he was while also dodging questions about how the two had met and become friends. Eddie had long since given up on asking about it, not that he cared. Not that he was jealous that the kid he was growing to see like a little brother already had another older male friend in his life.

That wasn’t Eddie’s style.

But this was Hellfire Club, and Eddie wasn’t about to lose another member to the dark side. Dustin had been looking forward to this rare gathering of the club outside of school, more than usual actually. He’d been wearing that same shit eating grin he always did when he was about to pull some bullshit at the table. Now Eddie knew why.

This little shit was trying to introduce him to Steve. Dustin talked Steve up so much, and now he just happened to be here on a date the same time as Sidequest Day? That was too convenient. Eddie shouldn’t have been surprised that Dustin was trying to bridge his friends together, but he was.

So, when Eddie saw Dustin watching Steve and his date chatting and playing Q*bert, he could have ignored the bait. He should have ignored the bait. But then Chris Morrison’s name was mentioned, and curiosity got the best of him.

Plus how could he ever resist talking shit about Chris Morrison.

So he walked up to the group, fully prepared to make agonzing small talk with Steve for thirty seconds before dragging Henderson away to focus on the real reason he was there. It wasn’t often that everyone had the time or money to come to the arcade like this, and Eddie had been lucky enough to make a special sale that day to some senior from the art department. He didn’t often have spending money for something like the arcade. He’d prefer to go to the movies or get his supply from Rick or buy anything to maintain his guitars, or upkeep of his van. Arcade time with Hellfire was something that happened once a semester at best, with the promise of him giving out advantages during the campaign he was running.

“Henderson is right. Morrison was the biggest asshole that Hellfire has ever seen. Worst DM too.” Eddie said, glancing between Dustin with a warning glare and Steve with a weary look.

He didn’t expect you, the girl playing the cabinet, to be the one to speak up. You knew Chris? This night kept getting weirder. When Eddie turned to Steve, to ask about what he was doing at the arcade, just to appease Dustin, Steve directed his attention back to you.

That made more sense, Steve Harrington wouldn’t be at an arcade on a Saturday night unless there was a girl involved.

When you turned around to face him, he noticed the way your eyes looked him down and up quickly. That was something he was used to with most people in Hawkins. They’d size him up just so that they could try and tear down the freak. There was a look in your eyes that he couldn’t quite catch before it turned into one of... disappointment? Discomfort? Shit, it was all the same to him.

Dustin made quick introductions of everyone, and Eddie was surprised when you offered your hand so easily despite the look in your eyes. Well, at least you were polite. It hadn’t even been two minutes and Eddie was already itching to get back to spending time with his club rather than crashing whatever meeting Dustin had clearly planned here.

But he’d be polite, humor the kid for just a second. If Dustin wanted him to meet Steve, then Eddie would be the contrarian and make small talk with his date instead.

You two would have graduated the same year, had Eddie not been held back. Yeah, it was starting to come back to him. He remembered you.

And that was enough of socializing with the upper class for the night. Eddie started directing Dustin back to club activities before Steve spoke up again.

“So, my friend here actually had an interest in Hellfire Club back in the day.”

It could have been left at that, but Eddie was getting more and more irritated over this situation. He looked at you, who looked like a deer in the headlights. Of course, Dustin might have seen something in Steve but he was no different now than he was back then.

“Really?” Eddie said. “And what about our little club was so interesting to you?”

He shot a glare to Steve, but looked down at you with a frown. You’d always seemed nice at school, but he’d made that mistake before. Eddie always liked the groups that kept to themselves and didn’t whisper behind his back or cause trouble for his friends. It was a shame he had been wrong about you.

But when you answered awkwardly about asking Chris to join, there was something in the way you spoke that was genuine. Either you were a really good actress, or you were being serious about it. Eddie might have been the biggest cynic in Hawkins, but he always did have a weakness to cute girls.

The conversation fizzled out quickly, and as much as Eddie didn’t mind talking to you he still wasn’t interested in crashing your date or getting to know Steve at this time. Not when his club started going wild across the room as Lucas was scoring big at a game.

So he turned around and left the two of you alone, running off to see what the jackpot prize was that Lucas had claimed.

For about ten minutes everything went back to normal. He was in the middle of an intense racing game against Jeff, when suddenly he heard Dustin screaming for him, causing his car to spin out and lose spectacularly.

Tonight was not going well at all for Eddie Munson.

Pushing down his irritation, he could hear it in Henderson’s voice that he was about to start trouble again. Of course as he made his way over to the hockey table, there you and Steve were again. Great. Eddie was so excited to be the third wheel during his club’s meet up.

But then Steve disappeared to take a shit. Well, he didn’t say that exactly but it made Eddie feel better to think of Steve having a miserable time in the bathroom. Jealous? No. Not at all.

Maybe a little.

You didn’t seem to like that Steve had left you, and Eddie figured you were uncomfortable without your date around. Dustin only ever talked Steve up, but had never mentioned you to his knowledge.

When the puck went flying towards your face a moment later, Eddie’s eyes widened with shock as you caught it with a laugh. The way you spoke to Wheeler and Henderson was familiar, as if you’d met them before. How did they know you? You were cuter when you were laughing with his friends.

As Eddie watched the chaos of you bantering with his freshmen, his mind wandered to what you would have looked like in the darkness of the prop department wearing the Hellfire shirt. With how easily you got along with Henderson and Wheeler he was sure you would have fit in.

Damn Chris Morrison and damn Steve Harrington.

He snapped out of his thoughts when you spoke up, a glint in your eyes as you handed over the puck.

“What say you, Eddie of Hellfire?” The way you spoke to him, a hint of a laugh in your voice but not in the normal mocking way he’d hear from others at school, made him break out into an unabashed grin as he took the puck.

“Sudden death it is.”

Making small talk with you was easy, and it wasn’t long until Eddie had forgotten about Steve completely as Dustin decided to bridge the gap between the two of you. You were the assistant manager at Family Video, had helped Dustin and Mike with homework on occasion, and were a regular at the Rocky Horror Picture Show that played at the seedy theater on the outskirts of town.

Eddie was starting to like you more the more the three of you chatted. When the topic od D&D came back up, your answer had struck a chord with him.

“I wasn’t done playing.”

Those words would tumble around in the back of his mind for the rest of the evening. They had been honest, raw words. There was a weight to them that he’d carried himself for a long time. Growing up with Al Munson didn’t exactly give him the idyllic childhood that one would see in movies or tv. Play time wasn’t exactly a priority when you were just trying to fucking survive.

He’d challenged your answer, when he knew in his cynical heart that he was the same. Between Hellfire and his band, there wasn’t much else he had going for personal enjoyment. Of course there was time to hang out with his friends and the occasional odd night where he crashed at Rick’s place when his home with Wayne felt too small or cramped.

Eddie wanted to ask you what you’d play, if you ever did have a chance to join a campaign. He wondered if you enjoyed fantasy the same way he did, if you were a fighter, a spell caster, or a healer.

Then Steve showed back up.

Right, you were here with Steve on a date. A date that had way too much fiber and had probably exploded the toilet while he left you hanging for going on forty minutes now. And now Harrington decided that the date was over? Jesus, this guy didn’t know what he was missing out on. Eddie felt for you, he’d been on his share of bad dates in the past too, and bad nights that he wished were dates.

He shook the image of Paige out of his head.

You gave him a smile as you said goodbye. Well, you said you’d be back in a moment but Eddie knew that the night was over. You walked out of the Arcade with Steve, and that would be that.

Sidequest day was always short, with limited spending money between members and the machines eating quarters like candy. Soon his little sheepies were gathered around him again, talking about their winnings and who deserved to get some sort of perk for the game. It was almost unanimously decided that it would go to Lucas, after he’d nearly broken the basketball machine from how fast he had been throwing balls.

Eddie still had a bill burning a hole in his pocket, having spent more time talking to you than playing games. He had to get this weird night out of his mind, and turned towards the group, knowing that he was going to regret this.

“Whoever has any money left, pool it in I’ll take us to get pizza.” He said. This was followed by cheers and a scrambling of pulling out loose quarters, dimes, and even a five that Gareth forgot he had in his wallet. Eddie lead them all towards the parking lot, his eyes scanning the parking lot for you.

You and Steve were chatting by his car and laughing the same way that you had laughed with him before Steve pulled you into a tight hug. Maybe your date wasn’t a bust after all. Eddie didn’t know why he cared, this was only the third time you’d met. You didn’t know him.

Dustin nudged Eddie, that same smug grin on his face.

“Pretty fun night, huh, Eddie?” he said.

“Your plan didn’t work, shrimp.” Eddie said. “I know you were trying to set something up and I’m not interested.”

Dustin looked surprised, and looked like he was going to argue but a sharp glare from Eddie shut him up. Eddie never had an interest in meeting Steve, and it was clear Steve felt the same way, going so far as to ditch his date to hide in the bathroom the whole time. Eddie didn’t know what the kid saw in Harrington but Eddie was less than impressed.

“Geeze, sorry.” Dustin sighed. “I thought you two would get along.”

“You know, a little humility wouldn’t hurt you.” Eddie said before grabbing his shoulder. “Next time you decide I have to meet someone, don’t make it during Hellfire, mk?”

Dustin looked disappointed but nodded as everyone piled illegally in the back of Eddie’s van. As long as Eddie didn’t drive like a madman (a difficult feat) it would be safe enough. He’d put the seats down to haul equipment years ago, and never could get them to come back up. He could fix it if he wanted, but there was never a real reason to.

As everyone got settled, Dustin looked over at Mike with a shrug. The two of them had thought that things were going well between the two of you, but the look in Eddie’s eyes had said otherwise now.

“Maybe she just wasn’t his type?” Mike said, as the rest of the club chatted. “Eddie doesn’t really talk about those things anyway. Maybe he doesn’t even want a girlfriend.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t see the way they were talking. Even if he wasn’t into her like that, they were still getting along.” Dustin sighed and shifted to look out the window as Eddie started up the van. Everyone in the back held on for dear life as Eddie started out of the parking lot.

As they passed your car, Dustin caught your eye just as you stepped out looking dejected.

“Sorry” Dustin mouthed to you.

It had been a bust tonight, but something felt off. Why would Eddie have such a clearly good time talking to you, just to turn around and say he wasn’t interested?

Dustin made a mental note to drop into Family Video tomorrow to talk to you and Steve.

Part 4

Dividers by @strangergraphics

Tag list: @k8loo @terrormonster55 @sp1dyb0y1008 @crocwork-clockodile @ali-r3n @mxcheese @josephquinnschesthair @gagasbee @peaches-roses-sins @witchwolflea @vintagehellfire @royale1803 @cumslutforaemond @prestinalove @browneyedgirly93 @perpetualmess @thebook-hobbit @mistonk @cultish-corner @grishaversecaptivated

Comments and reblogs help me know that y'all read and enjoy it, which feeds my excitement to write!

#wing man #eddie munson x reader #nacht fic

[chaosnojutsu]

Who *Should* Have Died From The Konoha ~12 Instead Of The One Who Did

rules:

we’re assuming they die under the same circumstances as the other guy

each one listed would have a complete storyline and their death would further the immediate plot as well as the overall narrative

i’m not “just picking characters i don’t like”

i do not condone killing characters for the sake of shock value but am considering shock as a legitimate tool in generating impact of a character’s death

miss me with “[redacted]’s death was a tragic result of the shinobi system” because no it was not. if that were true you could sub out [redacted] for any other child soldier and get the exact same impact. we know exactly why they were chosen and it’s got an (insufficient) explanation irl and in-universe.

#3. Sai

Motivation: Friendship

First of all, imagine the shock value from killing one of THE Team Kakashi members.

Cool. Now imagine Naruto’s shock at Sai sacrificing himself for him.

Sai overanalyzes normal human interaction to the point of not understanding it. He reads books about how to befriend people. He still doesn’t understand it all the time but friendship is coming more naturally to him these days. What he does understand is that Naruto is the only chance of winning this war, and he’s down, and the enemy is aiming for him, and Hinata is trying to stop them but she’s on the ground, the spears are in the air and so is Sai, and Naruto is his friend.

He doesn’t need to think about it much deeper than that.

Now imagine Sasuke “What Does ‘Friend’ Mean To You” Uchiha witnessing this, witnessing Naruto’s reaction, and the further effects this may have on his character. After all, Sai was his replacement. If Naruto feels this strongly about losing someone who was decidedly not him but his friend and teammate nevertheless then… maybe.

#2. Rock Lee

Motivation: Youth

Regardless of *how* this one plays out, no one wants to watch the determined, precious, comedic relief die; no one who’s watched this far into the show wants Rock Lee specifically to die. Huge impact already. But we can make it super duper sad because he deserves a memorable death. I see it going one of two ways.

One: Hinata doesn’t even have the time to try to shield Naruto because Rock Lee is faster. Ten-Tails barely launches the attack and Lee’s already taken/attempted to counter the hit. Perhaps this is his eight gates moment. Similar to Sai, Rock Lee would cite the power of friendship in his dramatic death speech, but he also was just… doing his duty. Truly, if you’re in the “Neji was just another tragic child soldier” camp, Rock Lee is the prime example of what I mean when I say you could sub in any child soldier, which I know sounds paradoxical but stay with me. Rock Lee’s entire personality is training harder than anyone else to benefit a system that will ultimately result in his death. If you want to make a point about child soldiers and needless lives lost, Rock Lee is the one to kill.

Two: Rock Lee doesn’t shield Hinata. He shields Neji. But not necessarily on purpose. The scene plays out exactly as written up to the moment Neji activates his byakugan, and the next frame isn’t him falling to the ground, it’s Rock Lee. The usually-somewhat-reserved Neji is devastated, probably in tears, demanding to know why he would do something like this. Rock Lee coughs up a bit of blood. “I was faster than you.” Smile. “I finally beat you…” Serene eyes fall shut. “…rival.”

And now imagine Naruto’s reaction to losing Bushy Brow. Imagine him watching Gai be brought to his knees by a blow that didn’t physically touch him. Imagine Madara incorrectly perceiving that. The implications. The foreshadowing.

#1. Shino

Motivation: Legacy

I’m gonna be real, the writers were never gonna kill off Rock Lee like that, which is the biggest reason Shino has taken the crown as Most Worthy Of A Tragic Death in my book.

This dude has a connection to both Naruto and Hinata (making him equally as good a sacrifice as Neji if that’s the canon criteria). However, unlike most other (male) characters, Shino isn’t shown to have a particularly close friendship with Naruto. The one recurring joke around Shino is that he’s so irrelevant even Naruto can’t remember his name.

But he is good friends with Hinata. And he knows she’ll spend the rest of her life miserable if Naruto dies, and that if she dies right now she will never have gotten her life’s greatest wish.

So Shino goes out in a blaze of glory, and we’ll probably insert something about how Naruto has somehow secretly inspired him all along— or maybe something cynical about how he always wanted to be included by Naruto but never was unless Kiba or Hinata were around, so he’s sacrificed himself to maintain the livelihood of everyone else while not “losing” that friendship himself— and we of course get the touching moment with Hinata (oh just imagine the drama if Shino lay dying and told Hinata “Why did I protect you? It’s simple. The reason is… for the same reason you protected him.” and we find out that the huge secret crush of the show was not Hinata toward anyone, but Shino toward Hinata, never confessing because he knew it would be futile).

Good luck forgetting his name now, Naruto. Now no one will ever forget about Shino Aburame.

#char chats #naruto #naruto spoilers #naruto meta #naruto shippuden #naruto war arc #konoha 12 #anti konoha #anti shinobi system #naruto uzumaki #hinata hyuga #shino aburame #sai #rock lee #neji hyuga #sasuke uchiha #pro neji #pro naruhina #naruhina #shinohina

[heartfullofleeches]

Y/N watching the news one day

News report: “Investigators puzzled to see the body found just last night completely missing without a trace”

Y/N: “Huh.. isn’t that near the place Devlin said he was gonna-”

Devlin suddenly climbing through the damn window: “Hey honey-! Stop screaming it’s just me. You won’t believe the night I just had!!”

Your spoon falls out your hand as the news coverage begins.

"Breaking news, Body found in robbery gone wrong has gone missing. The injuries sustained in the incident are alleged to be fatal and police expect to find the body, or an accomplice soon. Now showing live footage of the gruesome message the suspect left behind."

The camera pans to a blood smeared window. In the blur you catch a glimpse of that convenience store he always visited to satisfy a late night craving - just like he had tonight. He couldn't. Devlin wasn't the most law abiding citizen around, but as your partner of two you thought you knew him well enough to believe he wouldn't do something this stupid. Your stomach drops as the camera focuses on the scratched out letters.

"Let's get hitched! ♡"

You feel bile crawl up your throat. If I make this shot, let's get hitched, yeah? He was terrible at basketball ball. He failed so many of the little bets he made for your hand - grinning like he had nothing to loose everytime. There was no bet this time. He was being serious, in his own fucked up way that used to the highlight of his charm. But this time he had taken it too far. This had to be a joke, right?- A terrible, selfish prank, but if so you could just scold him for it and hate him for a day - and still be in his arms by night. He's not dead. He couldn't be. This isn't funny.

A rock flying through your window tears you from the gallows of grief - obscenities bled into the quiet night as a body joins it on your living room floor. Dusting broken glass off its coat, the corpse produces a shiny ring. His smile contorts with the bullet wound spilt through his cheek.

"Babes- I'm home! Turn on the 12 o'clock news- Wait- Why are you screaming?"

You toss a pillow at him, backing yourself into the corner. "S-stay back!

Devlin checks his reflection in the broken glass. "You're right I look like dogshit. Probably not the best look for an engagement party - but! Ya love me anyway."

"The news... Those wounds.. How are you even standing?"

"Yeaaaa, so - crazy story, but I'm immortal and have been alive for like a thousand years. I probably should've mentioned that at the beginning of the relationship, but I was so excited to lock you down I sorta forgot. Sorry about that."

Devlin closes the distance between you and leads you to the couch. You're too emotional stunned to resist.

"How did this happen?....."

"Tonight? Another insane story, but after I got high in your bathroom and went to get supplies to make us something to eat I saw some guys robbing the jewelry story across the street, and I just knew the universe was telling me to finally put a ring on your finger. Got shot, but my records would just show some dead bitch so we're in the clear. I love ya, babes. And I'm gonna figure out a way for us to be together forever."

Devlin slips the ring on your finger and kisses your knuckles. "Wanna hit up the waffle house when it opens in like... five minutes?"

#Devlin my oc #My fav boy actually #yandere oc #yandere imagines #yandere scenarios #yandere headcanons #yandere x reader #yandere #yandere x you #yandere insert #yandere blurb #yandere drabble

[badblondebisexualboy]

Brother

Platonic!Winchester!Brothers x Teen!Male!Reader (Supernatural)

Abbreviations:

Y/N: Your Name

'Thoughts'

Actions

Warnings: mean Dean?, OOC characters?, fear of abandonment, misunderstandings, probable misinformation, messed up timeline? Hmu if I missed anything.

Dialogue Prompt: “You’re fine. (We’re) I’m taking you home”

Requested by: no one

A/N: this feels rushed. The ending is bad, the apology is shitty, and overall I feel I could do better. Give me some ideas and constructive criticism.

Song Suggestion

3rd Person POV

Y/N: Come on guys... you can't keep me here forever just because I’m your little brother. Please let me out. I wanna go on adventures with my big bros too...

Dean: No it's dangerous.

Sam: You could get hurt, and we don't want dad up our ass about it.

Dean: stern Sam... Anyways, Y/N, I feel like you'll just be a burden on us during the hunts. you don't know how to handle yourself, you don't know how to fight, you've never taken a hit, nor did you ever care to listen to dad's instructions when he was telling you why this is dangerous. so no. you won't be coming with us. And Sam, we have to go.

Sam: That was harsh dean.

Dean: he wouldn't listen otherwise

they walk out, leaving Y/N alone in the trailer Y/N: speechless

Y/N: g-guys but I-

The door was shut

Y/N: sigh so this is what he thinks of me… a burden…

half hearted chuckle Y/N just goes to the kitchen, prepares food for the boys, and goes to sleep. After the hunt, sounds of things falling to the floor Y/N jolts awake

Y/N: w-who's there??

Sam: it's us. Don’t worry.

Y/N runs downstairs to check up on them

Y/N: holy sh- guys, sit down I'll get the first aid

Y/N first patches up Sam and then goes to Dean

Y/N: Sam, your food is in the fridge, eat it.

Y/N sits in front of dean, and starts cleaning his cuts

Dean: Ow careful!

Y/N: flinch sorry… finishes with aiding your food is also in the fridge.

Dean: ……

Y/N: do you hear me Dean? make sure you eat ok?

Dean just nods

Y/N: 'so now he won't even answer me... great' sighs and goes back to his room.

Author POV

For the first time in a long time, Y/N cried himself to sleep. He thought he found a family, but maybe his mother was right… maybe she was just a fling to John Winchester, and maybe Y/N was just an unwanted kid… and maybe that’s the reason Dean hated him, because his father cheated on his mother with Y/N’s… maybe Sam was just sympathizing with him… maybe Sam hated him too… he slipped into sleep with these thoughts in mind. But it didn’t take long for him to wake up because he heard thump. A grave mistake he did was to peek out the door. He saw some kind of a creature dragging Sam down the stairs. And with the new found courage, he ran and jumped on its back. The creature picked him up, and knocked him out. Before blacking out though, he had the energy to yell out his eldest brother’s name, “DEAANNN!!”

Y/N POV

The next thing I remember was waking up in a dimly lit room

Chuckle.

Startled by the chuckle, he yelled out into the darkness, “W-who’s there??” an equally startled Sam replied, “Y/N!!? what are you doing here??” “S-Sam! Are you okay??” Sam hesitantly replied, “yes… how did you end up here?” “I saw that thing taking you and jumped it… maybe it took me too” a new voice jumped into the conversation, “well well… if it isn’t for the younger Winchester and that rat of a brother” I knew who they were referring to, but chose to keep quiet. The stranger continued, “heard your mom died before sending you to her cheater husband, Y/N?” that made my blood boil, but it was the truth nonetheless. “Fine, if I don’t get any reply, I shall get started, separate them.” Someone came and took Sam somewhere. I was scared, I didn’t know what they were gonna do to both of us. My train of thought was cut short when they blindfolded me… oh shit. Here we go. “Don’t worry kid, we won’t touch you. You were an unexpected catch. We plan on talking.” That gave me a false sense of security. Upon not hearing anything from me, the stranger continued, “the hunter community heard a lot about you, kid. The outcome of a fling of John Winchester and Amanda Collins, was it?” my mom’s name piqued my interest. “M-my mom… how do you know her?.” Feeling accomplished with himself on making me talk, he just chuckled, “most of the hunter community knows, the word spreads quick around here kid. And how is it going with your brothers? Heard your old man passed recently, my condolences by the way” he knew way too much about everything going on… it put me on edge. “how do you know about all of this, are you a hunter too? If so why did you take Sam? What did they do to you??” “Okay okay kid, you’re talking too much. Let me…” he gags me!! I mumble incoherent words. “now kiddo, just listen to me. You are just a side quest in this for us. You weren’t even supposed to be here, but now that you are, we have to figure out what we’ll do with you. So shut the fuck up and stay where you are.” and he left. For what felt like hours, I stayed there. in the dimly lit, quiet, creepy room.

Timeskip, few hours

It felt agonizing. I had all sorts of thoughts running through my mind. It physically exhausted me. I felt hopeless… was Dean ever gonna come for me..? did he take Sam and leave already?? Does he know I’m here? Does he care? I mean he did call me a burden.. maybe it is better if he leaves me here. I wouldn’t have to be-

SLAM

The door slammed open, I could hear hurried footsteps, and soon my gag and blindfold was off. “You’re fine. We’re taking you home” and before I could process anything, I blacked out…

Time skip back home

My eyes fluttered open, and I was back in my bedroom. Was it all a dream? After a while of just laying in my bed, I walked out to the kitchen. I could hear… arguing?

Sam: “he only went to save me Dean! You can’t scold him for that. Come on man… he’s still a kid…”

Dean: “there are other ways to save someone Sam. Not recklessly going after an unknown entity. We already have enough stuff to deal with. We don’t need him becoming one. And you have to stop being on his side. This will only make him more irresponsible. Now go back to your room and let me go talk to that brat.”

Sam: “But-”

Dean: “no more of that Sam! Get back to your room.”

My breath quickened as I realized Dean was going to check for me in my room. I didn’t wanna get onto his bad side than I already was, so I ran back to my bed and faked sleeping.

Dean: “Y/N, get up. We need to talk.” I was scared, but got up nonetheless.

Y/N: “y-yes dean?”

Dean: “We need to talk about why the hell you did what you did.”

Y/N: “I… I also want to talk to you Dean.” Dean: “sure you go ahead first then”

Y/N: “What is your problem with me?”

Dean: “Sorry?"

Y/N: “why do you hate me? what did I do to you??”

Dean: “I do not hate you. And you did nothing to me. where’s this coming from?”

Y/N: “all those times you pushed me aside, talked to me like I was a rag, all those times you did not consider my feelings… even today in the morning and just a few minutes ago…”

Dean: “…I”

Y/N: “do you hate me because I’m not your own brother? Or do you hate me because dad… cheated on your mom with mine”

Dean: “that’s enough! I do not.. hate you. Yes, I had a strong dislike towards you… but now I don’t even have that. I’m worried. I never took care of a 16 year old… Sam left for college when he was 16… and I never knew how to do it. You just got left with us… and then dad… sigh I’m sorry if I gave you the impression that I hate you. I do not. I… I see a younger Sam in you… that’s why I’m scared. Whatever happens to you is my responsibility.”

Y/N: “…You do not have to do it alone. I and Sam are always with you. You don’t always have to know what to do.”

Dean: “I’m sorry… can you forgive me?”

Y/N: “it will take time, but I’m sure I will. For now, let’s go eat something… together…”

Sam: “I already ordered take out, let’s watch something?.”

Y/N: “race me to the TV?”

We sprinted out of the room, laughing and trying to trip each other. This felt like home… it felt nice.

~ X THE-END X ~

#dean winchester #sam winchester #winchester brothers #male reader angst #angst to fluff #supernatural x male reader angst #platonic #angst #angst with a happy ending #angst to comfort male reader #winchester male reader

[marauderundercover]

i dream of getting out (you're on your own kid ch. 2)

Prev

There was no question about it. Percy was definitely cursed. He wasn’t sure who to blame, but there definitely had to be someone out there to blame, right? Someone other than him calling the wrong shots and getting him into these situations. He’d never really been into that whole ‘higher power’ crap. Mostly ‘cause the one time his mom took him to a church thing, he couldn’t focus. And the nuns yelled at him. Nuns are scary. But that didn’t really matter right now. Because right now, Percy was being followed by some dude through an unfamiliar part of Gotham. If he was smarter, Percy would’ve stayed in the safety of Crime Alley (and isn’t that a sentence) where he could just call for Red Hood. He trusted Hood, and he knew that the guy would at least try to help him. They may not be close or anything, but Red Hood protected kids. Everyone, especially everyone in Crime Alley, knew that. But here, outside of Hood’s territory, Percy felt hopeless. He didn’t know these streets like he knew New York’s. Or even Crime Alley. Turning with the alley, Percy sucks in a breath as he realizes- he’s trapped. Spinning on his heel, he turns and scans the area, trying desperately to find a fire escape or something that could help him. His eyes widen as the guy rounds the corner.

“Hey, kid. You look lost. Need some help?” The guy asks him, and Percy frowns. He was pretty sure he didn’t look that naïve. The guy’d been following him for too long to be anyone with good intentions. Literally everyone would know that. Realizing he’s taken too long to answer, Percy shakes his head and squares his shoulders in an attempt to look bigger than he is.

“I’m fine.” He says simply. The guy laughs, but it’s not like his mom’s laugh was. It feels closer to Gabe’s laugh, and Percy clenches his fists. He really shouldn’t have left Crime Alley.

“C’mon, kid, just let me help you. Come with me and we’ll grab something to eat.” He says. Percy shakes his head. Even if the dude wasn’t trying to kidnap him- which Percy found unlikely- he wasn’t about to be in debt to some creepy ass guy who stalked him around Gotham.

“I’m good. I’m just gonna-” Percy tries to make his way around the man, but he reaches out and grabs Percy’s arm with a bruising force. Immediately, Percy starts to thrash about and tries to break free. “Hey, help! Someone!” The man moves one of his hands over Percy’s mouth to smother the sound of Percy’s cries.

“Couldn’t just do this the easy way, could you, you little shit.” The man complains, struggling to keep hold of him. Percy jerks back roughly enough that he’s able to stumble back a few steps.

“Red Hood!” He yells, hoping that maybe, just maybe, the vigilante had taken a trip outside of his territory. The man snarls and grabs Percy by the back of his hair, making him yelp. Before he can try and fight back more, the man slams his head against the ground. Percy cries out as the pain makes stars dance in his vision. Another slam of his head, and the world fades from view.

---

Percy blinks awake, then regrets it immediately- the dull throb in his head sharpening the moment his eyes hit the light. Groaning, he quickly shuts his eyes again, taking a steadying breath before cracking his eyes open again. He opens them slowly, trying really hard to focus past the pounding in his head. Struggling, he pushes himself up as carefully as he can. His whole body ached, and it probably had something to do with the concrete floor he’d woken up on. Sitting back on his heels, Percy takes in his surroundings and tries not to panic. There were at least a dozen other kids, all of them in cages. Shit. A door slams open and the other kids all scurry to the backs of their cages. Percy, however, stays where he was and shoots a glare at the man walking in. It was the same guy from the alley, and the fact that he hadn’t covered his face didn’t feel like a positive sign for Percy.

“Looks like Sleeping Beauty is finally awake. Wasn’t sure how long it’d take after you got that little bump on your head. You feeling alive again?” The man asks with a smirk.

“Feeling peachy.” Percy says, crossing his arms. He was terrified, but he didn’t want this guy to know that. Didn’t wanna give him the satisfaction. The man smirks before lunging forward, and Percy can’t help but flinch back. The man laughs, shaking his head as Percy mentally says every single curse word he could think of.

“And I’m sure you’ll feel even better once you’re outta Gotham.” The guy adds before turning and walking back the way he came. Percy drops back down to his butt and tries really hard to take deep breaths. He’d really messed up this time, and there wasn’t anything he could do but hope that someone was looking for at least some of the kids in the room. They were still in Gotham, which was a plus. It meant there was still a chance that the Bats would find them. Not that Percy really had anyone looking for him, but he did kinda have a tiny bit of hope that Red Hood would miss him. Or at least think about where he might be, since Percy almost always saw Red Hood at least once while the guy was patrolling Crime Alley And he’d hung out with the vigilante on the roofs a couple times. Percy knew that the guy had some serious rules in place to protect the kids of Crime Alley, and he really hoped that the protection would extend to dumb new Crime Alley kids who were running around the wrong part of Gotham in the middle of the night.

“Hey, kid, you got anyone looking for you out there?” One of the other kids calls out. Percy shakes his head, moving to press his back against the back of his cage. He pulls his knees up into his chest, trying hard to ignore the ache as he realizes how alone he really is.

“No. No one.”

---

Percy does his best to ignore the crying and talking from the other kids. There were a couple a little older than him, and they were clearly trying to make the younger ones feel better. Personally, Percy thought it was ridiculous for them to even try. The only bright side was that it seemed like most of the other kids weren’t in the same ‘living alone in Gotham’ boat that he was in. Probably half of them were certain that their parents would be looking for them right now, and the other half figured their parents would eventually look for them. Percy does his best to shove down the jealousy. Not like it would do any good stuck in a place like this. Just as he starts to nod off, loud thuds and screams, accompanied by gunshots, sound in the other room. Percy does his best to curl into himself in an attempt to shield himself. He wasn’t sure how many people were working with the guy who’d grabbed him, but it sounded like they’d all gotten into an argument. And Percy did not want to be collateral damage. The door slams open and Percy flinches back, squeezing his eyes shut as some of the other kids shout in surprise.

Percy had expected screams of terror or pain or something, so when the other kids start cheering and crying, he risks cracking an eye open. The sight of Batman and Nightwing weaving around the cages, carefully opening them and helping the kids out, lets him finally take a deep breath again. They were okay. Percy uncurls and inches towards the door of his cage so that he could run the second it was opened.

“Shit.” A familiar mechanized voice echoes throughout the room, and Percy’s attention snaps towards the voice. He wants to cry. He’s relieved and exhausted and is finally not terrified. But he also doesn’t wanna cry in front of one of the only people who still willingly talks to him.

“Hiya, Hood. Little far from Crime Alley, aren’t ya?” Percy chirps, forcing a grin on his face. Red Hood unfreezes and rushes over, using his gun to break the lock off the cage that Percy was trapped in. He throws the cage door open and then backs up, giving Percy space to get out by himself. He scrambles out, wincing at the fact that he seemed to have Red Hood’s undivided attention. And the vigilante was silent. “Are uh, are you gonna yell at me?” Percy finally asks, and Hood splutters.

“Am I- you- Jesus christ, kid.” A long hissing sound comes from the helmet, a sound that Percy was pretty sure was just the guy letting out a really long exhale. “You’re not in trouble, Percy. You were almost- what happened to your head?”

“Is he injured? Ambulances should be here in five minutes, but we’ve got emergency stuff and there’s a full medkit in the Batmobile.” Nightwing rambles, appearing at Red Hood’s shoulder. Percy takes a step back, panic whelming up. He did not just escape traffickers to get put back into the system by Nightwing. Hood seems to notice Percy’s panic, and moves himself in front of Percy.

“Give the kid a break, Wing. He’s one of the Alley kids. I’ll check his head out and then take him back.” Red Hood says, and Nightwing frowns.

“I really don’t think-”

“C’mon, Wing. Hasn’t the poor kid been through enough for one night?” Red Hood asks, and Percy watches, impressed, as Nightwing sighs and agrees.

“Fine, but you better get the kid outta here before B notices you ignoring protocol like this.” He says.

“Since when do I give a shit about his protocol?” Red Hood asks, but he nods at Percy and guides him towards the room where the gunshots had come from. He pauses at the door, and Percy looks up at him.

“What?” He asks.

“Would you promise me to close your eyes and let me guide you outta here?” The vigilante asks. Percy starts to argue, then considers what he might have to see on the other side of the door and nods slowly. Red Hood had never done anything to make him not trust him. And he was kinda the only person Percy actually felt like he trusted at this point. Maybe he’d regret it one day, but he really didn’t think he would.

---

Enjoying this fic? Head over to AO3. I'll add updates here as I remember.

#percy jackson #percy jackson is not having a good time #kid percy jackson #jason todd #batfam to the rescue #crossover fic #ao3

[androidcharles]

Happy father's day! For those who aren't into the dads, I hope your day has been good nonetheless! Either way, I decided to write a little quick something to kinda give you guys an idea of not only more of my headcanons involving the Toppat past, but also where the fuck Ace Williams, Terrence's son came from. This isn't too long, just a bit of a quick one, but there are some mentions of abortion and of course male pregnancy, so if those are things that freak you out, you probably shouldn't read this!

With that, let's get into the story!

Reginald sorted through the assorted cloths in the bin as he let out a small “harumph.” He could have sworn there was a cloth in here that would make the perfect outfit. He let out a small sigh as he tried to dig through the pile before he looked up to see Taylor Tailor smiling smugly at him.

“Hey, Reggie, Terry’s here to talk to you,” Taylor said, motioning for him to follow them. He tipped his head to the side as he followed them to the main area of the seamstress department, where Terrence was sitting very awkwardly. Which was… strange. This was still his friend right? The same guy who would often hit on girls for no reason other then for the heck of it. So what was going on?

“Terry?” Reginald asked as Terrence jumped, smiling awkwardly as he rubbed the back of his head.

“Hey Reg. Nice to see ya, um… there’s something I’ve gotta tell… somebody really. You’re the only person I can really trust with this information right now. At least until I work up the courage to tell the chief and his right hand.

“Hm? What is it?” Reginald asked. Terrence sat down before standing up, trying to figure out how to tell him. Finally he sat down and placed his hands into his face.

“I’m pregnant…”

Reginald dropped the fabric he had accidentally taken with him on the ground as his eyes widened, almost in immediate shock.

“You’re… you… how did…” Reginald began to sputter as Terrence’s arms flew up into the air.

“I DON’T EVEN KNOW! Greater ones above, three months ago to me was just an awful blur. I can’t believe I forgot how I got pregnant. I remember having sex with one dude… I don’t remember if he used protection. I was drunk I think-”

“Oh greater ones above, you HAD DRUNK SEX?! Are you sure he wasn’t taking advantage of you?!” Reginald screamed.

“No, he wasn’t! I paid him to have sex with me. It was money well spent too… man he hit the right spots… ah well… anyway, the worst I was expecting was an STD but pregnancy… this is just too much.”

Reginald pursed his lips, trying to come up with a solution to this obvious problem. While on one hand, he wanted to scold Terrence for once again taking a risk in sleeping with a random stranger and managing to get pregnant in the process. But on the other, he couldn’t help but feel concerned about how Terrence was feeling right now. He sat down next to Terrence, who only looked away, clearly embarrassed.

“Terry, it’s gonna be alright. It’s all done now and there’s nothing that can really be done except, well-”

“No.” Reginald sighed as Terrence shook his head.

“I know there’s scientific mumbo jumbo that dictates that the thing inside of me isn’t technically alive yet, but greater ones above, getting rid of it before it even experiences life? No way dude. Until it starts killing me from the inside out, it stays in my body,” Terrence said.

“OK… so now that I know how long you’ve been pregnant, how did you figure it out?” Reginald asked.

“Guh, I don’t know. Lately I’d been craving really strange things, Danny went on about how I’ve been throwing up a little too much recently, and I get really mood swingy. I thought I was just taking some bad pills. Oh god, I’ve been drinking while pregnant do you think that’s gonna effect things?!”

“Well, you can stop now and hope that the drinking you’ve done doesn’t effect things now,” Reginald said.

“Well, it’s a good thing I haven’t be really craving beer…” Terrence said, laying his head onto Reginald’s shoulder, “But eventually I was talking to Ariel and… I don’t know, I started talking about how I’ve been sick lately and she went on to say that that was how she was before she had Carol. I took a pregnancy test from a drug store we were visiting and what do you know… it was positive,” Terrence said.

“Well now that aborting it is out of the question, it’s now time to decide if you’re going actually halt everything just so you can take care of this little one,” Reginald said, “After all, you probably won’t be allowed on anymore raids once you reach five months.”

“Shit, that’s two months from now…” Terrence said, “Damn…”

“And of course, you’re going to have to stay in the nursery until your baby is coherent enough to actually waddle on it’s own without your assistance. The separation will kill it, but it’ll get over it,” Reginald said.

“The thought of being away from my little dude is seriously making me anxious,” Terrence muttered, “Well, I guess I’d better be ready for the hiatus then. And I was kinda hoping to become the right hand too.” Reginald couldn’t help but feel a bit of rush when Terrence said this. He had talked extensively about how he wanted the right hand position for quite some time now and he was starting to get serious about it.

The thought of Terrence giving up the position just so he could raise his new child…

Then the idea of reality snapped back at him. It wasn’t like Terrence was going to be at his child’s side forever. He would be pregnant for another seven months, give or take, then he would probably give childcare for about nine or so months before he got back on his feet.

It would be a year and a half just about and Paul Dagwood wasn’t ready to retire yet.

“Well, don’t worry. I don’t think this will hurt your chances. If anything, it might actually increase them!” Reginald said, “Wilford seems a bit tough on the outside, but on the inside, he’s a family man. I’m pretty he’ll love that your raising a child. Regardless of where it came from…”

“I’m glad you think so Reg,” Terrence said, “I’m sorry if I’m being moody right now. Darn baby making me moody. So should I tell the chief?”

“It’s best. And get with the doctors as well. You need to have a plan in place, especially if things go awry or if the baby does hurting from the inside out and-”

“Will you stop worrying!?” Terrence said, punching Reginald’s arm, “I’ll be fine, I promise! I’ll just have to take baby steps from here. Quite literally I guess…” Reginald let out a small sigh before he nodded his head.

“Well, take care. You know where to find me if you get cold feet,” Reginald said. Terrence waved as Reginald sighed, placing his hands into his head.

Terry’s going to be a father.

Jaques never said anything about this...

#the henry stickmin collection #reginald copperbottom #terrence suave #the narrators stories #ahaha anyway #here's the story

[itlivesproject]

I'm gonna follow that other anon's example and ask some rapid fire matthias questions 🥰

1. Is he bisexual like the other LI's? I romance him with a male MC so has he been with men before or only women?

2. Since he usually doesn't really celebrate his birthday, how would he react to MC taking him out on a special birthday date and getting him a nice gift? themself👀

3. What is his favorite food? and how would he react to MC making said food for him?

4. What does he like & dislike most about himself?

5. What does he like & dislike most about MC?

6. What is his love language? and does he like physical touch bc I want to hold him in my arms for eternity.

7. How does he feel about PDA?

8. How would he take care of MC if they got really sick? and how would he react if MC took care of him if he got really sick?

That's all I got for now, sorry it's a lot 💀 Give Matthias a kiss from me 😚

I’m loving these rapid fire questions guys I feel like an athlete after the big game with 30 microphones in front of my face 🥰

1. Yes he is also bisexual and has been with men before

2. He would be thrilled, beyond words thrilled. It’s been ages since anyone really celebrated his birthday, and so few people have even asked when it is that he would just be over the moon. He would make sure to do something of equal value for MC’s birthday, and he would truly treasure whatever you got him

3. His favorite food is probably homemade shortbread. He doesn’t mind the stuff you buy at the store, but it doesn’t taste right. He has a family recipe he’s used for years and it reminds him of when he was a little boy. He’d be beyond thrilled for you to make it. It doesn’t really feel right having the maid make it, and he’s not a big cook himself, so he rarely has it.

4. He likes his eyes. They’re a really brilliant sort of shocking blue, which isn’t necessarily uncommon or anything, but as he’s grown older they’re the only part of him that’s stayed the same, and he likes to see them when he looks in the mirror.

He dislikes his temper. It doesn’t come out often, but when it does he knows he’s probably about to screw up. He really admires his own ability to remain calm and in control, so when he finally lets his temper get the better of him it feels like a personal failing.

5. He likes MC’s strength. No matter the personality, no matter the choices MC makes, they have to be strong to endure what they have endured and continue to fight. Matthias admires strength like that, because it’s rare and it reminds him of himself. Most people stay down after the kind of hits MC has taken, and he admires that you haven’t.

He dislikes MC’s naïveté. For being so strong and so powerful MC knew so little and was fighting in such a purposeless way. When MC began they were just hunting monsters in the woods one at a time, with no real goal. In his mind, MC should’ve been much more proactive about finding out where to aim their considerable power. He finds solace in the fact that at least he’s there to guide you.

6. His love language is quality time. When he loves someone, really loves and trusts them, he wants to be around them constantly. He’s tired of being alone in his big house with no one who really cares about him or that he really cares about. He wants to be around someone who loves him, someone he loves.

And don’t worry, anon, he absolutely loves physical touch and will hold you in his arms until his dying day if you let him ;)

7. He’s a little old fashioned in the PDA department, and doesn’t typically like it. That said, he doesn’t typically feel what he feels for MC. His dislike of PDA is a little hypocritical, because if given the opportunity he would be around you constantly, touching you always. But he is the proper sort, so he won’t initiate PDA.

8. He would find the best doctor in the world, fly them to Westchester, and demand in no uncertain terms that they fix MC. He would never leave your side, even when the doctor was with you. He would be very attentive and make sure you took everything prescribed and were taking care of yourself.

If MC took care of him, his mind would be a little blown. Nobody takes care of him, ever. Maybe two people all his life have ever bothered to try. He’s not the greatest patient, he gets irritable when he’s sick and he always thinks he knows best, but he’s deeply, deeply touched by your help. So deeply touched, in fact, that once he was better he would tell you to ask him for anything you want in the world, and he’d get it or do it for you. No questions asked, no conditions given. Whatever it is, it’s yours.

Thank you so much for the questions, anon! I’m always happy to answer questions about the silver fox 😘

#anon #ask #mod maggie #matthias mcquoid #ilw lis

[aajjks]

TPOL!JK

“oh, go ahead and help yourself” you say as you and alina migrate to the dining room to gossip about what’s been going on in your lives. jorja soon arrives with a plate full of your kimchi gumbo and doesn’t hide just how good it tastes by going back for seconds.

when the both of you were in london, you did most of the cooking and it was because of being on your own with jorja is how you became invested in cooking like your mother. you remember all the foods she used to cook for you and you would try to replicate them with your own twist with jungkook being your guinea pig to test the foods out on.

“crazy how all of us basically had our child in the same month. how are we gonna do their birthday parties?” alina jokes and it does make you wonder just how you’re supposed to have their 1st birthday’s together because they’re all born within the same month and are days/weeks apart from one another. huh, talk about a friendship.

while you ladies gossip about your children, the men are busy watching basketball because it’s play off season and yoongi loves basketball.

“ughhhh!!! c’mon golden state” yoongi says while eunwoo and jungkook gossip about the newlywed life.

“so tell me what it’s like now? i know you both have officially been married for a YEAR now so how are you feeling? any changes? second thoughts? how do you guys handle arguments now?”

before jungkook could finish, jaemin comes back inside from playing outside with one of his pajama pant leg over his knee and crying for you.

“MAMAAAA!!! i hurt my leg!!” he’s screaming and making grabby hands at you and when you look at his knee, it does look pretty bad.

he scraped his knee to the white meat but this isn’t the first time he’s taken a severe fall. jaemin is very active so he loves to do flips outside, run around, and wrestle with ahnjong. although he is screaming cause it hurts, you tell your three year old to remain calm so you could clean his boo boo.

“m-mommy”

“you want me to pick you up? you have to walk like a big boy, min”

“please? pretty please?”

“awww okaaaayyy c’mere my wittle munchkin” you coo as you lift jaemin and put him on your hip as you travel upstairs to clean his scrape.

“that little boy has her wrapped around his little finger” mingyu jokes.

“we know you aren’t getting any goods with him around, huh? does he sleep in the bed to be with y/n?”

and it’s true. jaemin is 100% third wheeling any alone time you and jungkook share any and every time.

Jungkook sighs, yeah it’s kind of hard to… have you all to himself sometimes because of Jaemin and then your pregnancy happened and now you got twins to take of, it’s difficult to navigate your new life together with three children,

But kudos to you.

You are the most dedicated mother he’s ever seen, just right after his own. “Yeah that happens but today you cockblocked me, fucker!” Jungkook playfully hits eunwoo on his shoulder and mingyu laughs. eunwoo shrugs, the guys playfully banter around.

And mingyu and yugyeom make fun of the dads of the group, “shut up- you two will be getting married sooner or later.” Yoongi rolls his eyes.

“Along with you hyung…” hoseok reminds his friend. Jungkook and the guys cheer as golden state scores and they scream like wild animals. “Yknow? Yn is very considerate- she never denies me… she loves me very much.” It’s not like your sex life is completely dead because jungkook will never let that happen.

Oh no.

Eunwoo sighs, acting soo dramatic, “mine hasn’t really let me touch her since she’s been pregnant.” And it’s jungkooks turn to laugh. “Aw man it’s probably just the mood swings.”

Being with you has taught him alot about the female body and hormones, especially just how fragile a woman is when pregnant.

But it’s safe to say that you both had a really good time during your pregnancy, “anyways… take care of your wives and fiancées guys, don’t fuck it up.” Jin announces and the guys hmm in agreement. “Dude where the fuck is AhnJong?” Eunwoo whispers to jungkook and they both begin to look for his son.

And after he’s finally found the little guy hiding under your dining table, Jungkook excuses himself to go upstairs so he can check up on you and the children.

He tries to never let you handle too much on your own but still he’s not really of much help, “Ahhh big boy what happened?” Jungkook knocks on the door before he’s entering and there you are in the bathroom, patching up Jaemins wound.

“Yn.. jia and jin-sun are peacefully asleep.. come on let me handle his wound, you should go and enjoy with your friends, maybe just gossip about how much great of a husband I am.” He winks at you and you roll your eyes at your cocky husbands humour,

Making Jaemin laugh at his parents playful banter, showing off his set of bunny teeth, exactly like his own father.

Maybe this is just an excuse to get you all alone to himself.

#ask: tpol!jungkook #aww man so cute

[not-wholly-unheroic]

For the headcanons thingy!

21 and 23.

Please and thank you :).

21. PDA Headcanons

(As with the cuddling headcanons, gonna start with a disclaimer here that this will be either platonic or light fluffy romantic PDA because I’m uncomfortable writing anything else.)

Hook isn’t big on PDA, as gentlemen of his day and age were expected to be somewhat reserved.

He makes a big show about being a gentleman, too. He opens doors for the ladies and may greet them with a low bow and a chaste kiss on the hand.

Hand-holding in public is one of the few acceptable forms of PDA for him. And the occasional hug. But only with people he knows extremely well and more or less considers family.

He will happily walk arm in arm or with an arm around the waist of his significant other. Or if they’re sitting on a park bench, he may put an arm around their shoulder.

23. Jealousy Headcanons

Hook has a tendency to be jealous not just of any potential romantic partner but also his friends. He isn’t used to being surrounded by people who care deeply about him, so when he finds someone who DOES, he’s desperate to keep them in his life and terrified they’ll leave.

He’s not one of those overly protective guys who doesn’t let his partner befriend others or who is super nosy with their letters, etc., always looking for betrayal though. It’s bad form to be so controlling.

But he will very quickly intervene if anyone hits on someone he’s in a relationship with and make it clear in no uncertain terms that they are taken. Also, even if you’re just a friend, if he notices someone is making you uncomfortable, he’s the guy who will immediately come to your aid and be like, “Excuse me, is this person bothering you? Because I can get rid of them for you.” Even post-redemption arc, he’s not above bringing up his villainous past to scare people away from those he loves.

On the flip side, if he notices someone he cares about spending a lot of time with someone else and genuinely enjoying themselves…not gonna lie, pre-redemption arc, he’s probably gonna try and sabotage the relationship. Post-reception arc, he tries to be more accepting of the fact that people can have other friends and that doesn’t mean they care any less about him…but it still hurts. He won’t say anything but he might be quieter around the person initially. When they notice something is wrong, he’ll probably deny it and just go out of his way to people-please to make sure the person knows how much they mean to him and hopefully win back their affection. (Even though he never really lost it except in his own mind.)

#captain hook disney #disney peter pan #disney #captain hook #disney villains #james hook #captain james hook #asks

[vincent-sinclair-deserved-better]

Oh I Could Bury You Alive

in which there is no angst? astounding

Characters: Clay, Cylas

Words: 1947

Content warnings: talk about murder, torture, the usual

divider by frankarcherhater, silkholland, and firefly-graphics

It luckily hadn’t taken too long for them to find somewhere to stop, and since the sun had already started to set, they at least had avoided the worst of the heat. Cylas was sitting on the floor, next to their captive’s still unconscious form. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to help?” she asked for the probably tenth time, watching Clay dig the hole that would become their victims final resting place. 

He rolled his eyes, “Yes, I’m sure. Don’t have anything else for digging anyway. You just sit there and look pretty.” 

Cylas threw a handful of dirt into his approximate direction and snorted, “If you say so.” 

So, she went back to watching him. Twirling her knife in her hand, throwing it and catching it again, whittling random twigs she found. It was quiet, except for the sound of the shovel splitting the soil, being lifted up, and the dirt then hitting the pile that had formed. At this point, the sunlight had turned more reddish in hue, moving on from dark orange and into pink. The current colour however was more similar to blood. Coincidentally, just as the thought had crossed her mind, the man next to her began to stir. 

Clay, who must’ve heard the muffled groans, straightened up and stretched his arms out over his head, “You gonna just... kill him?” 

She raised her brows at his question, “I mean, yeah? Shocking, I know.” 

“Haha, very funny,” he replied, “I was just wondering what happened to the whole ‘some people don’t deserve a quick and painless death’ thing? Not saying I’m a specialist on Cylas-Keir-behaviour but this does seem somewhat uncharacteristic.” 

She shrugged, “I dunno. Just don’t wanna bother you, I guess? Subject you to all the noise and blood and stuff.” 

“It’s not like I gotta watch,” he huffed, “And I don’t mind some whining or screaming. As long as you don’t throw any entrails or severed appendages down here I’ll be fine.” 

“Ah, damn,” she said sarcastically, “Just when I had planned to remove every last of his organs, collect them in a bucket, and empty it over you.” 

He grimaced a little at her comment. “Come on, go cutting around at him or whatever. You’re even more annoying when you’re trying to resist your sadistic urges.” 

“You know nothing,” she said with a snort, “I am being pleasant right now. If you think this is annoying, try not to run into me when I’m seriously stressed. People have said I can be insufferable under those circumstances.” 

“Well, then let’s not risk getting to that point,” he responded, “I gotta continue here, this hole isn’t gonna dig itself.” 

She stopped playing with her knife and Clay returned to his self-assigned task. The man was squirming, making muffled noises behind his gag, seemingly having regained some kind of fight now that death did seem close. She couldn’t have that. She could not have him fear death. But she wasn’t sure if she’d have enough time, or the means, to change his mind. 

After a quick look around to possibly help her find inspiration, she stood up and walked over to her backpack. There was all kinds of stuff in it, but she was looking for one specific thing – metal tent stakes she had once found just lying in the middle of the woods, along with a torn tent. However, this time she’d repurpose them for a more important matter. 

Fully aware that she was probably once again overdoing it, she dragged the man’s writhing body a little away from where Clay was working, trying to make it so they weren’t in his direct line of sight, before dropping the victim’s arms and straddling his torso. She looked down at his gaunt face, hollow cheeks and sunken eyes, his fearful and desperate expression – this was the same guy she had cowered before, who’d made her cry and beg countless times. Now he was just a miserable, pathetic shell of a human. 

Without further delay, she cut through the zip ties binding his wrist and forced his arms back over his head, hands lying on top of each other. Then, she grabbed one of the stakes and smiled down at the man, who had started laughable weak attempts to throw her off. 

“Aw, don’t worry, sweetie. This will hopefully hurt. A lot, maybe. If I am lucky.” 

The stake in place, she next reached for a hammer she'd had with her other tools, and began driving the metal object through the man’s hands into the ground. His struggles intensified but still hardly moved her while his screams were almost inaudible. Cylas felt like a weight lifted off her chest when the first droplets of blood welled up, and the feeling of cartilage and bone being crushed, forced to make way for the foreign object. It was calming, almost meditative. Some part of her had apparently really craved this, just not enough to be noticable yet. The stress of having been back to that underground prison and being around her former captor must have affected her more than she had noticed. Once she had gotten the stakes about as far as possible, she looked back down to check on her victim and found he had started to cry.  

“Oh, don’t cry, you’ll dehydrate,” she said with an overtly sweet voice, “And I can’t exactly give you something to drink now, can I? In this position you’ll only choke on it.” 

He didn’t react, obviously, there wasn’t much he could do. Next, she went to secure his legs in a similar fashion, although she kept them a little apart, not yet sure in what direction and how far she wanted to go. Even though Clay had kind of given her the go ahead, she didn’t want to make him too uncomfortable. 

Ultimately, she kept it quite simple and superficial. She didn’t have a proper way to cauterise wounds, but wanted what little suffering she could inflict to last. If the man was going to die, it was going to be on her terms. There were some cuts – not exactly superficial but not deep enough that he’d bleed out, and she did poke around in them a little, or tore on the edges, the usual. He also did end up losing a few parts of his fingers, a tip here, the top two links there, maybe one down to the knuckle, but nothing too big. 

She was so engrossed in her work, that she didn’t even here Clay approach, until he called her name, “Cy? How’s it going? I’m done over there.” 

“Oh, hang on a sec,” she replied, sitting back on her heels where she was kneeling next to the victim’s torso, “I’m ready when you are, just gotta finish him off, I guess.” 

“Actually, I had an idea,” Clay said, a sinister smirk on his lips. 

Cylas tilted her head, surprised at his expression. That one was new. “I am listening.” 

“Alright, I hope I’m not overstepping with this, but... you said he buried you alive, even if only by accident, right?” 

“Ah, yeah. Hence why I’m still here,” she replied, studying his face and trying to figure out what he was thinking. 

“Okay, so, although we don’t have a coffin or anything like it, I figured that there is no necessity to drop him in the hole already dead. I mean, he won’t be going anywhere either way, especially now,” he paused to glance at the man’s mutilated form, “And we could stick around a while longer to make sure he’s not coming back. Though I don’t think he’d survive until the grave is filled up again, he’ll probably have suffocated by then.” 

Now it was Cylas turn to smile, “I like the way you think.” 

“Guess you’re not the only one being influenced by the other,” Clay replied. 

She snorted, “We’re that ‘well, I could make them worse’ meme or trope or whatever you call it.” 

“Nothing like being a bad influence on each other,” he said, “Ultimate friendship goals.” 

“Just some pals hanging out in the woods, digging graves, inflicting some pain, and burying living people. The usual.” 

Clay let out a chuckle and looked at her with a fondness that would have seemed inappropriate for the situation if they had been anyone else. However, they were kind-of-killers standing next to a soon-to-be-dead man, Cylas covered in blood, Clay mostly just soil and dirt. 

“Shame we don’t got any drinks with us,” he sighed wistfully, and she rolled her eyes. “I actually brought some cola from the fridge in that hellhole when I went back to get some tools and shit.” 

He raised an eyebrow, “For real?” 

“Yes,” she confirmed, “Don’t you pay attention to me?” 

“Well, not quite the drinks I was referring to, but-” 

Cylas cut him off, “I don’t gotta share with you. Didn’t even say I would.” 

“Careful there, little girl. I could just leave you here, all alone in the dark woods,” he teased. 

“Or you could go fuck yourself,” she responded without skipping a beat, “I’m not scared of the dark and can always just hitch a ride. Not that hard to find the road from here, and if all else fails I could make it back to the complex as well. Even got a bed there – a different one, and a shower, bathtub... so, yeah, your threat means nothing.” 

“Okay, okay, whatever you say, shortie,” he said, motioning back to their victim, “You gonna free him or do you need a big strong man to help you?” 

She huffed a laugh, “I don’t need help, but maybe the big strong men could still find it in himself to assist in this monumental task of removing a couple metal stakes. Unless it’ll make you sick.” 

For the last part, her voice actually took on a serious tone and she looked up at Clay questioningly. 

“I think I’ll be fine,” he replied, “But thanks for making sure.” 

“’Course, can’t have you pass out on me or something, and vomit is gross.” 

They threw the body into the hole without much fanfare, and despite Clay’s objections, Cylas insisted on filling the grave back up. Still, even missing a shovel, Clay did help as far as possible. Once they were done, it was well past midnight, and Cylas couldn’t stop her yawning. 

“You sure you wanna stick around?” Clay asked, grabbing some cola from the car. 

“Just a little while, not for hours,” she replied, carefully unscrewing the bottle he’d handed her, “I’m always tired and yawn a lot, you should know that by now. Or do you wanna leave? One of us has to drive, and it’d be best if the driver wasn’t about to pass out then.” 

He snorted, “Don’t worry, I’ve been up for longer periods of time than this. Not all of us fall asleep as soon as they’re placed in a moving vehicle like a fucking toddler.” 

“I stand with my earlier point: Go fuck yourself.” 

“Do it yourself, you coward,” he retorted and she rolled her eyes. 

“I’ll kick you in the balls when you least expect it.” 

He shrugged her comment off. “I mean, maybe I’m into that.” 

She facepalmed, “Okay, tmi, I don’t wanna know.” 

After that, they fell into a comfortable silence, just staring ahead and each lost in their own thoughts. When Clay had finished the bottle, he went to ask Cylas if she was ready to leave – only to find that she’d fallen asleep against his shoulder. 

“Yep, an oversized toddler.” 

Cylas stirred at the sound of his voice, blinking up at him. “Fuck you.” 

taggedy tag tag @rottent33th @slaasherslut @the-pinstriped-hood @bluecoolr @ace-of-hearts-and-spades @immortal-velociraptor @myers-meadow @solmints-messyocdiary

#cylas writes #tagging people always feels so strange #especially so many #cause i'm always like 'omg what if they actually dont care but are too polite to say it' #so i look at past posts notes but #agfdhjgfdshfoa #clay and cylas #cylas keir #clay spencer #it is once again almost 1 am

[familyagrestefanblog]

What is this about the season 5 "Bible" being leaked? What happened, where and when??

And most importantly, is it any kind of trustworthy source and where can that be checked and confirmed?

Right now both here on Tumblr and on Twitter I see nothing but vague enough posts ABOUT the supposedly leaked season 5 Bible and while I'm glad that you guys in the ml spoiler tag didnt go total apeshit disregarding everyone else... I would still like to know and find out about this leak to be sure that someone out there isn't completely making a fool out of us other fans with a fake s5 Bible leak. I don't want to say that I don't believe this Bible leak exists at all, but it is suspicious enough that when I look it up I actually only find posts talking ABOUT the Bible, what it supposedly said and people asking to IGNORE said Bible. But never actually the Bible itself or anything DIRECTLY from the Bible that isn't just passed down words.

Cause I'm gonna be honest, Miraculous has a massive spoiler, leak and overall chaotic release culture unlike any other show I have witnessed yet. And we fans are completely desensitized to all of this and don't question this kind of stuff anymore the way we should. If there is any show I can see someone successfully pull of a fake final season Bible hoax right before the season starts its definitely Miraculous.

The only thing I found that I can say is definitely credible is that Thomas Astruc acknowledged the leak in a tweet and didn't call it out as a fake or anything right there and then

But even here it's important to not just jump to conclusions right of the bat and acknowledge that there is still a big grey area free for interpretation to be read in this tweet. There is NEVER just one way to read something like this and the original intentions behind it also can vary widely. I learned to be very VERY careful with vague stuff like this. Especially with as little information as I can actually find online for the Bible leak (much less the leak itself) I just wanna throw out there that this may not be a direct "no" to discredit it, but at the same time this also isn't a direct "yes" either.

It's an acknowledgment that the Bible leak exists and that there is something about the matter that Astruc definitely takes seriously. But what the aspect of the content of the Bible is that he takes serious and to what degree can not be said from the tweet alone.

Let's say hypothetically the Bible leak is a huge fake and incorporates 15 big informations about the season, 13 of it are bullshit but 2 actually managed to hit the nail on its head. Then for these 2 informations alone this tweet would be warranted since Miraculous leaks and spoilers have the tendency to go viral incredibly fast with people taking too much at face value. Miraculous is in an increasingly vulnerable position regarding potential fake leaks, more than any show I have ever seen.

Look, don't read this as me saying I deny the possibility of the Bible leak actually being real and that whatever is spreading around the internet right now is not to be taken seriously at all. Of course not.

I'm just asking to step back a bit, look at the situation at hand and the actual informations you have to go off of and question it more than just on face value. This is the internet, false information are spread like wildfire and theoretically speaking, every information you get on the internet should be questioned for its biased and background while being taken with a healthy dosis of caution.

I guess I'm not so much asking for you to not take the leaked Bible itself seriously, the situation I see probably just rubs me the very wrong way because I can't find too much substantial and credible when I'm looking for it online now which makes it seem like a prime example of people (especially young people/kids like the main audience for miraculous would be) being taken advantage of, manipulated through false information and desensitized to believing sourceless news/informations on the internet right of the bat.

I guess where I am getting at here at the core is to please be careful with informations and leaks like these. Check the sources, anything official you can put your trust in and most importantly take everything you see with a grain of salt. I'm not saying don't believe it at all, acknowledge the possibility that it might be true but keep at the back of your head that there are countless ways for this to have played out behind the scenes than you assumed at the first glance and that you simply don't know what the actual truth in this regard is.

Acknowledge the information but also acknowledge how little you know when it comes to big stuff like this, especially when there isn't alot to find source-wise. Miraculous is a fictional story so there is not too much harm being done to not take fact-checking this super seriously. But there are endless examples like this regarding the actual real world and real world problems where source wise you get just as little and people are getting taken advantage of and manipulated on grand scales by other people with the needed know how to believe false informations.

Miraculous is fictional but the desensitizing/manipulative nature leaks/spoilers can have (especially as massive as it always happens with Miraculous) are very much real and I guess I'm just asking you guys to be careful.

I find it hard enough to sometimes actually take any tweet of any of the ml screw members seriously and at face value because they simplify or straight up contradict what's going on it the show to a degree I refuse to support. And now someone anonymous leaked the s5 Bible and I can't find too much credible about it?

Yeah, I'm gonna take this with a HUGE grain of salt and wait for the show to actually air to see what happens.

#ml spoilers #miraculous ladybug #miraculous #ml season 5 #Supposed ml s5 Bible leak #Taking it with a huge grain of salt #Regardless of that people say is the content within the Bible #Ml leaks #Ml spoilers

[nimble-stuff]

Crying Themselves to Sleep || Mikey - Pale Room, Part III One by one, they’re taken from the cell, and Mikey wonders if they’ll ever see each other again.

FANDOM: ROTTMNT Also on AO3

@badthingshappenbingo

<< PREVIOUS || NEXT >>

---

Their cell was quiet when Mikey woke up. What he wouldn’t give for a window. At least in their lair, he had the sense of whether it was daytime or nighttime, or even a clock just to tell the time, but he woke up in the near-total darkness and no sense of how long he’d been asleep.

Raph had taken up Donnie’s pacing. However, while Donnie paced a long line, Raph did it in a tight circle at one end of the cell, large hands rubbing the back of his neck, his arms, his sides. Leo was holding onto Donnie. Leo’s face was so tight, so old, and so unlike him that Mikey almost thought he was looking at a stranger, and when he sensed Mikey watching, he forced a reassuring smile.

“Man, they sure like keeping us waiting,” said Leo. “Anyone else getting hungry? Thirsty? Both?”

“Ugh, please don’t talk about food right now,” said Raph. “Raph is getting hangry.”

Leo’s laugh was stilted. “You sleep alright, Mikey?”

“No,” said Mikey, stretching out his sore limbs. The floor felt harder than concrete and just as inviting. “Did you?”

“Ah, y’know, hard to sleep with this guy on me. Didn’t realize Donnie was this heavy. His head must really be dense if he’s got this much weight on him.”

“You think all his weight in his head?”

“No, really, if he has, like, more brain cells than us and they’re all packed together, that makes him heavy. I bet Raph isn’t as heavy as him. Hey, Raph, come over here and test it out for me.”

Raph grunted something noncommittal. The feverish silence created a horrible, heavy heat in the cell, making it difficult to breathe.

“Hey, Mikey, hold on to him for a sec, would you?” said Leo.

Mikey scooted across and Leo passed Donnie to him, prying his hands away. When Leo gently passed Donnie to Mikey, Donnie didn't even seem cognizant of it. He let out something between a gasp and a grunt, and clung to Mikey when he was passed into his arms.

Leo convened with Raph in the corner of the cell. Despite Mikey being able to hear everything, they spoke quietly to create the illusion of a private conversation.

“Tell me you got a plan,” Leo whispered.

“I’m thinking, I’m thinking,” Raph hissed. “We could rush them. Might get into the hall before they release that gas or whatever it was.”

“Yeah, and get shot by a bunch’a pea shooters. We don’t even have our weapons and there’s a whole lot of them and four of us. Donnie was probably our best bet for coming up with a way out of here and he’s not all there right now.”

Raph looked around, searching the ceiling, and Mikey knew he was looking for cameras. He pulled Leo closer in and started signing instead of speaking, at just an awkward enough angle that it might be difficult for a camera to get a view of their hands.

“Donnie may’ve left us a way out,” Raph signed.

“Like what?” Leo replied.

“The emergency beacons in our belts. Everything happened too fast for us to hit them, but if we can activate them, Dad could pinpoint our location and come get us. He knows we’re missing by now.”

“They confiscated those the moment we were out, along with the rest of our gear.”

“The belts don’t look like a threat a first glance. I don’t know if they’d lock them up with our weapons.”

“We’d need to get out of here.”

“They aren’t gonna leave us in here forever.”

“Dunno. I think they may just let us starve to death.”

“No. They didn’t.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“It’s an interrogation tactic. They’re depriving us of food and water to make us more agreeable.”

Leo looked scared. “You seem pretty sure of that.”

“I feel pretty sure.” Raph rubbed the back of his neck. “Look, no matter what happens, focus on trying to get to those belts. Be sneaky about it if you have to.” He locked eyes with Mikey. “If that fails, we all have to keep an eye out for an opening to escape, even if it means only one of us gets away. If one of us escapes, they can go get help.”

Leo opened his mouth, as if to protest or agree or something, but he didn’t have time to when the lock on the door clanked and opened.

Mikey squinted against the blistering florescent light that came into the room in a long rectangle. Leo put himself at the front, right into a barrel of an assault rifle the guards at the door pointed inside. The intern was back.

“Alright, room service!” Leo joked.

The intern surveyed his clipboard, flipping through a few pages, then pointed at Raph. “Him first.”

“Woah, hey, let’s not get hasty. I think it’s only reasonable that I go first. I am the leader of this quirky band of misfits, so it’s only fair—look, that’s a nice gun, but hot tip: if you point it at the shell, it’s not gonna do much.”

“Don’t answer it,” said the intern.

Leo stepped into Raph’s path as he stepped forward. “Wait, hold up, you need to feed us first! It’s in the Geneva Convention. Yeah, I’ll take an omelette, if that’s on the menu, and maybe some—”

“Step aside!”

“You’re not helping, Leo,” Raph hissed.

“No, we need to eat before—before any serious, uh, before we, uh, are taken to the prison yard, or whatever,” said Leo, talking faster and faster. “Matter of fact, we haven’t gotten that phone call yet, in fact since there’s four of us, we’re each owed a call, so that makes four calls total—”

Mikey squeezed his eyes shut as one of the guards butted Leo on the head with the rifle. He heard, though. He heard the sound of Leo’s body hitting the ground with a loud thump and his surprised, pained cry. Donnie’s arms tightened around Mikey’s neck.

“Move!” the guard shouted.

Raph’s hands were halfway to picking Leo off the floor. An instinct that never went away. It seemed to take a lot of effort for him to step over Leo instead and into the light. The last thing he did was turn back towards Mikey, flash an I-got-this smile, and he was gone.

It happened so fast that Mikey didn’t even have time to feel truly afraid, just stunned and lost and he couldn’t even get up to check on Leo because Donnie made himself ten times heavier than he already was and Mikey was small already. Fortunately, Leo stirred and sat up with a fresh gash on his head running blood down his face.

“Let me see,” said Mikey.

Leo looked around, dazed, and found Mikey. He scooted over and let Mikey prod at it.

“Are you dizzy?” Mikey asked.

Leo didn’t answer, looking into something past him. The fear caught back up to Mikey’s body and a terrible twisting sensation pulled his intestines every which way.

“Leo…Leo, c’mon, please answer me, don’t leave me alone here. Please.”

It took a minute or two for the focus to come back to Leo’s eyes. He breathed deep. “Sorry. Sorry.”

“Are you dizzy?” Mikey repeated.

“No. No, it’s—ow.”

“Sorry. Put pressure on it, I don’t have—fuck, I wish I had a cloth or something—”

“It’s okay, it’s fine.” Leo pumped confidence into his tone. “Everything’s fine. This is all part of the plan.”

“Well…Well, it’s not for forever. They’re gonna bring him back.”

“Yeah, of course they are. They probably just took him to…to get more blood samples, or something. It’s like going to the doctor.”

“We’ve never been to the doctor.”

“Yeah, we’re way overdue for a check up, aren’t we? Raph’s gonna be fine.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah. Definitely.”

Leo scooted up shoulder-to-shoulder with Mikey. He looked at them with an unnatural wistfulness, and Mikey looked for far longer than he should’ve, trying to dissect the emotion. Their gazes didn’t break from one another. The silence filled up all their words for them, drowning all feelings that came with it.

Finally, Leo put an arm over his shoulder and tugged him close, and the nagging fear chewing at his stomach lining eased a little.

-

They spent time reminiscing on what they were going to do when they got out, all the pizzas they were going to eat, the petty crimes they’d commit, the criminals they’d beat up. They complained about Raph’s body odour a lot; he’d been stinking up the bathroom lately, and no amount scrubbing got it out of the tiles. Leo suggested stealing a bathroom from Big Mama, insisting that they could cut a whole room out of her hotel and cart it off to the lair without anyone noticing. Wistful, daring, confident, sensational, preposterous little pranks that would get them on magazine covers, boost their egos, give them bragging rights all throughout New York City’s underground scene. Then they’d take a vacation to Todd’s, go camping for a while despite Donnie’s griping, drag the Caseys with them, maybe take a trip to Australia, go to places where humans would never see them again.

And that was the crux of it, the fear behind it all, because Draxum was wild and crazy and his experiments were out there even too far for the yōkai but he wasn’t a human, and he had some sense of what it was like to be persecuted and feared. Humans weren’t all that kind to each other a lot of the time, but God, they were so much worse to anything that wasn’t even tangentially them. The fraction of human DNA that made them walk upright and talk and think and feel just wasn’t enough. And Mikey was thinking, maybe it was a little too much for the situation it was in. He wished he had less of it. That he was more animal-like, because an animal would know how to survive. He felt close to breaking down and soon his throat got too dry from dehydration and fear to continue, so Leo spoke for all three of them because he was the only one who had enough words to make up for it.

Even Leo’s voice faded after a while, and the only thing that made him stop was when the lock clanked again. Leo scrambled up.

The same quartet of guards entered. At least, Mikey thought they might be the same. It was hard to tell behind the helmets.

“Where’s Raph?” Leo demanded. No jokes, not even a quip.

The guards pointed their weapons at him. One said, “Come with us. Do not resist.”

“Yeah, I want to know where my brother is first.”

“Come with us. I won’t warn you again.”

Leo’s gaze flitted in all directions, searching.

“Leo, you’re not gonna go, are you?” Mikey asked.

“…Relax, I’m…I’m just gonna go find out what they did with Raph,” said Leo. “I’ll come back for you guys.”

“Leo!”

“Stay with Donnie. I’ll come back, promise.”

Leo threw up his hands in mock surrender and a roll of his eyes and an upward quirk of his lips. He winked at him and walked out with his escort.

“Leo!” Mikey called out.

The shutting of the door was definitive. Mikey listened to his rapid breathing in the dark.

He held tight on to Donnie and tried not to think about all the things that could happen to Leo and Raph. Donnie was here, Donnie was with him, Donnie was safe, and no, don’t think about Leo and Raph because they knew what they were doing: Leo was confident and smart, and Raph was strong and willful. That would be enough. It would be enough to keep them alive, long enough for Splinter to find them.

Still, Mikey wondered. He thought about the Krang invasion, about Casey’s bad future, and wondered if it was fate that he and his brothers died, if his brothers being taken from him was the space-time continuum trying to right itself and force them to face the fates they’d dodged when the invasion was stopped.

It was so dark in the cell. Mikey felt like it was getting darker. The only thing that felt tangible was Donnie in his arms, and he was far too quiet.

“Donnie, c’mon, get out of your head,” said Mikey. “Don’t leave me alone in this!”

It had been a long shot to begin with. Donnie was a terrible listener even when he wasn’t powered off. Mikey wished he could find the switch to turn him back on.

Mikey stared at where he thought the cell door might be. He wasn’t imagining it; the lights were definitely getting dimmer. The darker it got, the more afraid he became, the more he revisited his childhood fear of the dark. Donnie had made him a nightlight for his room to chase away the perpetual dark of the sewers. Back then, the monsters had been imaginary.

Now he sat in the dark again, terrified of it, trying to hold the panic inside his body by holding his breath.

Donnie shifted a little, adjusting his grip around Mikey’s shoulders. It was probably just an instinctual reaction, but Mikey latched onto it, hoping that it was a deliberate sign of life.

“You there, Donnie?” Mikey asked. “Don’t worry, Leo and Raph will get back here soon.”

He didn’t know what else to say.

The third clank from the door sent his heart back to his throat. The light streaming in from the hall almost blinded him.

Paccioretti stepped inside, followed by her intern and the usual entourage of guards.

“You see?” said the intern. “Just as I told you.”

“I have eyes,” said Paccioretti.

“Where’s Raph and Leo?” Mikey demanded.

“What do you want to do?” the intern asked. “Should we turn it over to Bishop?”

“Bishop already has his hands full with the other two,” said Pacioretti. “An unresponsive subject is useless to everyone.”

“Where are Raph and Leo?” Mikey repeated.

Pacioretti gave Mikey a careful, prolonged stare. She whipped out her clipboard and scanned down it, biting the insides of her cheeks.

“What has D61’s diet been like lately?” Pacioretti asked.

“Uh, mostly table scraps from the cafeteria one or twice a week,” said the intern.

“Hm. It’s been a while since it had a fresh meal and we have three subjects who are better candidates. Take it to sub-level 2 and dump it in.”

The intrinsic fear launched into Mikey’s throat. Meal. Table scraps.

He twisted away from the advancing guards, pinning Donnie against the ground. He wouldn’t let this happen, he couldn’t let it happen, Leo had told them to stay together, he needed to stay with Donnie, he needed to.

“NO!” Mikey shouted. “No! You can’t do this!”

“Don’t be theatrical,” said Pacioretti. “The only thing you’re doing by throwing a fit is wasting my time.”

“You can’t do this! I won’t let you!”

“This is not a situation where you have a choice. Comply.”

“You’re not feeding my brother to some fucking monster!”

Pacioretti rolled her eyes, and with a wave of her arm, she left to let the guards do their jobs.

They were an execution squad. They even had the black hoods in the form of their helmets. Mikey let out a scream and clawed at the nearest one, all his training forgotten in the throes of his uncoordinated panic.

There was a moment, a small one, that almost passed by unnoticed. Donnie made an indistinct noise and his eyes were wide, alert, and alive, but he didn’t seem to be capable of speaking. They met his. Mikey felt like thousands of thoughts passed between them, but they were blurred with heightened emotion, and the rift never felt so wide while being so small.

Donnie was yanked out from underneath him.

“DONNIE!” Mikey screamed. “DONNIE! NO! YOU CAN’T DO THIS!”

“Get that thing under control!”

Several bodies slammed into him and shoved him back into the dark, while dragging Donnie towards the light. The last he saw of him was a flash of his wide eyes, then the humans were gone and the cell door slammed shut.

Mikey charged to where he thought the door was and pounded on it, screaming Donnie’s name and clawing into the metal. His mind raced with a mantra: Donnie’s-gonna-die, Donnie’s-gonna-die, Donnie’s-gonna-die. His nails dug into metal. He thought he could rip it away to expose the light. There was still time, he could just get to him, and he could remember his training instead of panicking, he could make it better. Mikey could make it better.

It lasted for forever. The desperate, howling sound of his own voice as he slammed his hands against the metal until something hot and liquid poured down his arm, and the feeling in his hands numbed into a burning, buzzing sensation. Mikey was sure he slammed his head against it once or twice. He kicked and screamed. He could get to Donnie. He could get to him before they fed him to a monster, and no, don’t picture it, don’t picture Donnie’s body getting cleaved in two by a monster, don’t picture explaining it to Leo and Raph and his own dad, he was going to fix this. Mikey could make it better.

Mikey slammed his shoulder against the door, pressing all his weight against it, but it didn’t budge. It was an immovable force, and his body was too small. Mikey was still working on the mystic mojo, but when he tried to focus on breaking down the door with psychic power, the only thing that came was a headache and tears that would’ve blinded him if the cell wasn’t already pitch black. He couldn’t move his arms. He pounded his body against the door, pressing his shell against it. Mikey could make it better.

Mikey thought this must be what purgatory was like: a black, horrible, inhospitable place where he lived with the fear that he would never see his brothers again. He attacked the door until he became exhausted and collapsed to his knees, tears flowing uncontrollably as he pressed his forehead against the metal.

It had been a long time.

Long enough for them to take Donnie to another cell.

Long enough for them to push him in.

Long enough for something to end his life.

And if it was plausible that something had killed Donnie in that time, it was plausible that something had killed Leo and Raph long before that. There had been more than enough time for the humans to do horrible things to them.

It was the universe realigning itself. Setting things right. They would die young like they were always meant to.

Mikey couldn’t see anything, only feel all the pains in his body and the perpetual ache in his soul he thought might be permanent. He curled into a fetal position, shell propped open against the door. He cried and cried and cried, until his body gave him no choice but to fall asleep.

#bad things happen bingo #rottmnt #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt leo #rottmnt raph #rottmnt donnie #nimble writes

[roboromantic]

oh a couple more things *writes a post 10 times longer than the previous one*

ngl I was kinda hoping for something a little more interesting for Prime's voice but oh well. At least there's juuuuust enough of a twist to it that it's only like, 97% a Peter Cullen impression and not literally a guy known for his Cullen impression (nothing against Jon Bailey but like. c'mon.)

I still think Mo's eyes are way too big compared to everyone else's but the style's definitely grown on me, like I like the bots eyes

wait hold up I just found this frame where you can see Wheeljack's face because apparently he has one under the mask. I didn't even notice that he put it on, I just thought he was gonna have the faceplate on all the time like the G1 cartoon (and personally I prefer when they aren't removeable, that's just their face) but for everyone else here ya go

I also think it’s neat that you can kinda see how stuff is attached like it (probably) is on the toys, like I can see the stuff on Bee’s back being used to move stuff around for the transformation and OP’s straight-up got a visible ball joint

I really love the music playing when Twitch and Thrash are being made, it's neat

I'm not super into the ~electromagnetic field~ and/or spark-bonding emotional mind-reading thing that some people put in fics, but that said. having some canon way for humans to participate in that is neat, though I'm guessing this isn't exactly a "choose your partner" kinda thing. Also apparently both kids are connected to both bots and vice versa, which is interesting. Gimme more deets

what else     oh Bee says that transforming is "Literally our name!" which I mean is technically true but like, I'm pretty sure that normally that's just what humans call them and they call themselves Cybertronians/Camians/etc.  So "Terrans" for the baby bots.         I could get into language stuff but that’d be a whole ‘nother novel so MOVING ON

I don't think the Terrans have an Autobot insignia anywhere, so I wonder if they'll get one eventually or if they'll get an Earth faction kinda thing which is presumably part of what Prime and Elita have? You can see on Prime’s shoulder above that they've got an Autobot symbol inside of the other symbol that shows up on the Earth military (?) vehicles

And speaking of THAT, it looks like Megatron has the same "faction symbol" as Prime and Elita-1 👀 Also he’s a helicopter again which is dope

Like it’s too blurry to be 100% sure, there might be a Decepticon emblem instead of an Autobot one (or maybe no other emblem?) but in any case, unless those vehicle that got blown up on the bridge were actually Cybertronians, it seems to be being used by humans, Autobots, AND Decepticons.

I also noticed that while Swindle has a standard Decepticon symbol, Bombshell looks to have something different?

Is the guy that’s not Swindle a new character? not that they'll necessarily exist for long given that Mandroid seems to have taken their arm but. I think they're also the only bot we see with a visor besides the pic of Soundwave on that comic

Also I noticed that the explosive Swindle throws at OP looks like a coin and makes that like. that schwing! sound effect that plays in stuff when  a gold coin is hit. do you know what I mean sjgkhfjk

I know we joke about the scale being g-d-awful at times but The Fuck is this. Like Thrash seems to be roughly the same height as Bee, but I’m pretty sure either I’m completely misunderstanding how the perspective in that last pic is supposed to work or he got shrunk or something

Also damn, they’re tiny. Twitch is barely even taller than Alex

Why is Skywarp blue?????

#Chal's TF ramblings #Transformers spoilers #Earthspark spoilers

[yournightowl]

Your Nightowl#013

i learned what a bastard is today. It was one hell of a rabbit hole.

These two jerks were arguing with each other- i don’t know why, it started, but with them its always something petty and dumb. (¬_¬")  The whole class was just watching them (me included) in a pretty bored way, cause we’ve seen this before and it never goes further than namecalling. But then jerk A called jerk B a Bastard, and the whole mood shifted. Everyone else in class sat a little straighter. Eyes started darting around, looking for an adult to come and intervene. Jerk B got real red and pale at the same time, and i could see veins on his forehead from across the room. i thought he  was gonna hit the other guy. ( o_o)

But then he just walked out real fast.

Bastard’s not exactly a common insult, but it isn’t rare either- and it’s really not that bad. i couldn’t understand why everyone was so static, but i knew it wasn’t right for me to just start asking. So i did what i usually do instead of engaging in the moment- i went and did some research.  (⌐▨_▨)

First, some context- jerk B wasn’t raised by his parents; they’re dead. His family took care of him (well literally he was taken care of by a swathe of maids and butlers and Ads and whatever, but you know what i mean). He never knew his parents, but its still a dick move to bring them up during an argument over something petty and dumb (and remember, with these two, It Is Always Petty and Dumb).

Second, some historical context- Bastard originally meant someone born to parents who were not wed to each other. Obviously, not something anyone gives a shit about today, but for most of our recorded history, it was.

The term also more generally means anything of questionable origin, like a bastardized copy, or an inferior version. It was also sometimes used to describe an illegitimate heir.

All of those definitions are relevant here.

People have been freezing their eggs for a long time now. It’s less common, but people freeze their sperm, too. And when people die, their gametes aren’t always destroyed. It’s incredibly rare, and widely frowned upon, but if you have the rights it is entirely legal to make a child from two people’s DNA without their consent. 

And it’s even possible to make a child from two people who are dead.

It’s possible…but why would you, right? There’s no shortage of DNA to go around. Why would you want the DNA of some dead person?

The answer to that depends a lot on how their will was set up.

Imagine your rich as hell aunt and uncle pass away. They never had kids of their own, so they give you a little something…and give the lion’s share away to charity. The story should end there- “Maybe i should’ve sucked up to them more while they were still kicking, oh well, i better move on,” but then you get a message from a biocorp. 

“Sorry for your loss, standard copy, standard copy… hey, we’ve still got your rich fam’s gametes in the freezer. Wanna make some money?”

So that’s what Jerk A was calling Jerk B- not an asshole, but a Bastard Heir. A designer baby cooked up by his screwed-in-the-head relatives after his parents had already died. A person born just so that their “guardians” could rob their parent’s graves. An illegitimate knock-off of what a child is supposed to be.

(O∆O), right?

Jerk B’s parents died when he was two, so the accusation is total bullshit. But i can understand why he got so mad. He’s probably not still sore about his parents deaths’, not after so long, and not when he doesn’t remember them. But it's nasty to imply that his family only cares for him because they can use him to control his parents fortune.

And that implication could actually be true.

wincing as i type,

Your nightowl

#unfiction

[munchflix]

MUNCHFLIX - REPLICAS

IMDB BLURB: A scientist becomes obsessed with bringing back his family members who died in a traffic accident.

WARNINGS: Fakey science beyond the realm of sanity, violence, cloning, cgen robots, and a bunch of bullllll-shit. 

RATING: 3 kegs of amino acids. 

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: All reviews are done solely for humor and should not be taken seriously ever. If you cannot handle cursing, crude humor and probably some offensive things, pls do not read this.

Munch:  I've been wanting to do this one since I first watched it because of the absolutely batshit amount of plot holes and fakey science involved. It's got decent production value and the acting isn't great but it's way better than a lot of the movies we've watched. Regardless...this one takes suspension of disbelief and just throws it over the side of the boat like it's the mom in Funny Games. Bonus points if you get that reference.

Biscuits: Riverstone pictures! Have you ever heard of them? No? They made a movie.

M: Whoo...these margaritas might be a BIT strong.

B: Here comes the booooooy......hello boy! There he issss....he is here.....

tHe BoOoOyYy~

M: SO anyway...Keanu Reeves is on the screen doing important sciencey things in his science guy lab and there's some helicopters and they're bringing in a motherfucking android and a dead dude. They're gonna science the hell out of this dead dude, even tho he's been dead for seven hours. How can his cortex be viable? He's been dead for SEVEN HOURS.

B: Well you know...it's only seven hours. His cortex is fine.

M: So they're gonna brain transfer the dead guy's brain stuff into the robot. I put the brain in the robot, okay? What do you want from me.

B: Plankton already did this, we don't need to watch this. Extracting neural data?? So they mapped his brain and now they're gonna...put the brain map in the robot?

M: Through a HUD, that Keanu Reeves is wearing.

B: Some Star Wars hologram shit. Oh he's manipulating a big brain hologram. Very cool. What exactly is going on? They're just spouting a bunch of fake science shit. They 3d printed a brain inside the robot??? This looks like a parody of a sci fi movie. How many quandills do we have!?? We have too many bringbrongs, destabilizing the matrix!

M: This is exactly why we had to watch this. Margot...energize the body. So now it's time for all the stuff they just...manipulated or whatever to go into the robot. He's movin! Keanu is trying to talk to the robot with the dude's brain but it's freaking out a bit because it's in a fucking robot now. Why would they ever think this was cool? The dead guy was not at all warned about this. The robot is fucking destroying itself now because well...that didn't go well.

B: I wrote a long angsty poem about an android who destroyed itself. This reminds me of that. This is progress! They don't understand my massive brain! This is my life's work! I'm so close! We've heard this spiel in literally every movie ever.

M: There's a couple of tropes here! Keanu's boss is mad because he can't make the robot brain thing work well so Keanu goes home to his nuclear family and his very nice house. And now his nerdy coworker is here because he's house sitting.

B: Daddy? Me too, little girl.

He’s a wholesome family man doing top secret evil science

M: And cue the thirst! Actually it already started.

B: Maybe you shouldn't be doing that at all! Maybe the question shouldn't be should we bring back the dead until the science is good enough, but maybe whether or not it's morally wrong to do it AT ALL!!

M: Keanu says - how many times have you had a patient flatline in the hospital and brought them back. That is NOT the same thing, my guy. Putting a dead guy's brain in a robot without his express permission is not like hitting somebody with a defibrillator. 

B: I don't think we're gonna see any new ground covered here with any interesting moral quandaries we haven't heard before. 

M: Just making sure we're on normal speed here. 

B: His wife's acting, wow. I know Keanu's not always given the best performances but wow. Her acting is like syfy and not like science fiction, like the channel. Maybe you should stop doing morally dubious science and spend time with your family.

M: This dialogue is so heavy handed. I'm just dying over them not having ever had this conversation in the entire history of his working for evil science co. They leave their mansion in the care of coworker guy. To go driving in the rain at night.

B: I SURE HOPE NOTHING BAD HAPPENS. I'm really glad we got all this time to get attached to these characters. I had time to really feel the connection before they instantly got killed. You've heard of the woman in the ice box trope? We're putting them all in there! All three kids!

M: Magically...his entire family dies horribly in this tragic car accident except Keanu who is now slowly sinking in his death car full of dead family.

B: If this happened in real life they would've immediately suspected him for killing his entire family. I wanna offer a bit of writing criticism and suggest that if the evil company had a hand in killing his family it would've been more interesting.

M: Keanu takes the time to drag every single member of his dead family out of the car and onto land and lays them out in an artistic pattern before calling 911.

If I wanted to watch Keanu Reeves be sad about his dead wife I’d just go watch John Wick.

B: Maybe he was trying to see if anyone was alive.

M: It doesn't take that long! And now instead he's...oh nevermind...he called his coworker. Not 911. He says NO QUESTIONS. We're gonna do some science shit on my family's corpses.

B: This would be a lot better if it was just Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. A wonderful novel about the moral dilemma of creating life from death.

M: You could've just...called the paramedics or something. Instead of just going yeah okay I'll help you do fakey science on your dead family. Have you even considered the legal implications of this decision? Leave him there, coworker guy. Leave the sad man in the rain with his dead family.    

B: I like how the neural mapping device is just a headband.

M: We just won't make a mistake, Keanu says. Okay.... but we're missing some major plot points here because now they suddenly have an entire cloning facility at Evil Corp, which is super handy for the plot and now instead of just putting the brains into a robot, they're gonna clone his family and put the brains in there.

B: Okay but like...cloning...okay....they're just gonna clone his wife and she's gonna come out as an adult human...? Wait, let me not tell you, movie, how science does or does not work! This is some super big brain Elon Musk technology that we haven't figured out.

M: And now we gotta get rid of the real bodies because that's fine. Coworker guy will take care of everything. We haven't been given like ANY heads up on ANYTHING in this movie. It's just suddenly everything is here RIGHT NOW. Hey they do crazy science, hey family is dead, hey cloning lab. 

B: BARRELS OF AMINO ACIDS???!? WHAT?!? This motherfucker did NOT just come in here and say he's got an entire keg of genetic material?! A bunch of primordial ooze?! They're throwing so much shit at you at MACH SPEED. 

M: Keanu needs four pods for cloning his family and they only got three pods valued at 1 milllion dollars a pop which they stole from Evil Corp. Nobody will notice.

B: I don't know what the company's name is. I don't even know what the protagonists name is! And coworker guy just...took all this shit. We had entire barrels of human goo!

I am...looking respectfully 👀

M: Now Keanu has to decide which of his family he's gonna clone and who gets left behind. He does this the only rational way by putting their names in a bowl. And tells coworker guy to pick one. Coworker is once again reluctant but he also fucking keeps going along with all this shit and he's in too damn deep now.

B: Just make the kids. Or just clone your wife and make more kids!

M: The clones are of course, gonna mature at an absolutely irresponsible rate. And they're just doing this at Keanu's house. It's fine. 

B: So they don't need a host...that's what the pods are for? Not any more unreasonable than any other bullshit in this movie. I'd love an entire keg of Keanu Reeves’ genetic material. 

M: Gross. Now they're doing fakey math to try and speed up this process before anyone notices that Keanu's entire family is dead. How the fuck is he gonna explain why one of his kids isn't there??!? They're gonna do this in SEVENTEEN DAYS. Yeah what about your other kid, Keanu. 

B: I feel like it would be less complicated to just try and revive their dead corpses than create clones and put their brains in the clones. 

M: He's gonna make clone family forget that Zoey existed. Okay great but what about literally every other person who knew her?? 

B: This guy seems like an asshole.

M: Like you've never tried to clone your dead family in your basement. 

B: This isn't no way home where he's doing Dr. Strange magic! He just like googled Zoe and he's destroying all their memories of her!? OKAY. It keeps escalating. I can suspend my disbelief for a lot of things but you can't just type in ZOE and erase all their memories. I'm starting to think the people who made this movie aren't scientists. 

We’re not even kidding.

M: It gets worse. It gets so much worse. Keanu is getting mad but it's a normal stage of grief that he is not at all dealing with. Now the police are here. Someone stole the car batteries out of every car on the block and you wouldn't happen to know who that was, EH? Why they fuck would they need car batteries?? Car batteries don't have that much juice, they run with an alternator that keeps them charged...

B: Coworker guy has to come in now and explain why Keanu isn't there even tho they fired him but they gotta get him back to work I guess. Fuck dude, can't you just show your tits or something. I don't mean that in a sexist way.

M: Just a horny way. I'm also in denial that all this Evil Corp stuff only cost 8 million dollars. Now Keanu has to get back to work so coworker dude has to come watch the pods. Why do they need to be watched? 

B: In case something goes wrong. 

M: We still haven't explained the Zoey thing. Keanu is back at work now tho and nobody has noticed the huge amount of missing stuff. Keanu is now sad about the kid he didn't clone but it's fine. We'll just clone her afterwards. After the other ones are done brewing or whatever. 

B: Yeah Matt's been out of school and you couldn't get his wife on the phone because they're DEAD IN THE BASEMENT. This guy is suffering from a serious lack of consequences. 

M: Suddenly Keanu realizes that he can't explain ANY of this because coworker guy lied about his kid staying with his dead grandparents. Keanu has called literally nobody to offer a cover story about his dead family. What could possibly go wrong? At this point in the movie, I was waiting for some horrible clone catastrophe to occur. That would've been cool. It doesn't happen. 

B: The clones are zombies or all mutated or something and try to kill him. But this isn't a horror movie. Dude! Dude. My man is trying now to cover his ass by texting everyone and making up lies about his family. They're gonna shut a lot of shit down when they find out what Keanu's been doing. 

Co-worker guy is way too gung-ho about all of this

M: And what IS Keanu doing? He's running a simulation of brain imprinting and it keeps failing and he really should have thought about this ahead of time. He checks in on his clone family who are now all moving around and squiggly and shit but it's fine. 

B: Our leading man is kinda unabashedly evil at this point. We're not conflicted about whether or not we're rooting for him. We're not. 

M: I think we're supposed to be though. And the thing is we're not even halfway through so we got a whole other plot to get through. And so we can't leave the family in the tanks because even if he doesn't get the brain imprint thing going they're gonna age like crazy because that's how this works. Keanu is gonna sedate them into a coma once they're born so he can get the brain thing going I guess. This seems like a good idea.

B: We're way past questions of ethics at this point, coworker guy. White dad frankenstein guy does not give a shit.

M: Hello clone wife! Welcome to the world! Have a coma!

B: IT'S A GIRL!

M: So I guess they're all born and shit now and he's got 3 days to get their brains sorted so it's fine. We've only seen the wife so far tho. Keanu reviews his past failures and touches clone family softly in their comas. Keeps lying to everyone. Gets sad about Zoe. Suddenly everything is going very slow. Can we have the major brain breakthrough already.

B: They didn't even establish this guy as being that smart. They just established that he works for an evil corporation. I guess he's a super genius or whatever. A movie about a bad man who does stupid things but it's still very boring.

M: Keanu figures out that if he touches his wife her brain wakes up. So this is the big breakthrough. The soul or whatever is hosted in the body, not the brain. So what the fuck is the point of all the BRAIN SCIENCE then?!

Insert ‘neuron activated’ meme here

B: NOBODY THOUGHT ABOUT THIS?! None of these big brain super genius scientists realized that putting a brain in a synthetic body would make it freak out?? Dude, Ed (coworker) is a ride or die motherfucker.

M: He's also the only person in this movie with ANY common sense.

B: I can't get over this hologram interface he's using. It's like Iron Man but it's just Bad Man. He just did bad shit but he was still hunky. He's not even like a good villain you can root for, he's just kind of a bastard.

M: I'm wondering why nobody has figured out what they're doing, or why he still has a job at all. I also don;t get why we had this massive body/brain breakthrough and then still did the brain imprint and now it's fine. Keanu sedates her again because as he says while she's still awake, he can't have her notice that anything is weird. Like that one of her kids is missing but she won't notice because he deleted those specific memories and it's okay.

B: HOW ARE WE ONLY HALFWAY?!! WHAT ELSE HAPPENS!

M: An unbelievable amount of chase scenes.

B: Is this an action movie?

M: The second half is. So now the entire family is waking up and he's erasing all memories of Zoey and shit and he's sad but we don't care because he's an asshole.

B: Sleeping in bed next to your baby brain comatose clone wife is creepy. Oh no, she woke up! MY WIFE!

M: And everything is fine. They're all perfectly normal. Which is honestly weird. I was expecting something super weird.

B: None of them are slobbering zombies or anything, they have all their memories. They're all just completely fine and normal.

M: Oh no, clone wife is having some pains in her chest or gallbladder or something.

B: How is the milk expired but all your other food is fine? And now a donor guy is showing up and they still want him to come in even though he hasn't shown up to work in what...three weeks!? You are extra fired! He doesn't feel like his family are eerie hollow simulacras of their former selves?

M: He doesn't think ahead. We've established THAT much.

B: His boss is like oh hey you're back from your fucking pneumonia or whatever for a month. Ed is right, he's always right. Someone is gonna notice all this shit.

M: Where are these soldiers coming from?? Is there a war going on??

B: They're in some non descript south american country so...maybe. 

M: Keanu is gonna inject something in the Evil Corp bathroom and put it directly into his brain. This seems totally legit. His boss comes in and he's like well you keep fucking things up but it's fine. Continue to work for us. And Keanu has just injected some nonsense into his eyeball and into the brain and he'll be fine.

An average afternoon in the men’s room.

B: ......what....

M: Meanwhile back at Casa De Clone, none of his family have noticed anything is amiss either. Ed sees Keanu bleeding from his eye and goes oh my god did you do the brain thing on yourself and he's like yeah it's fine. He's gonna put HIS brain in the robot. It's totally fine. 

B: Dude....uh...(groans) But WHY....

M: So he can keep his job. 

B: In the context inside the movie, okay yeah but in the context of this BEING a movie, why is this the plot? Why is it THIS? I just don't understand at all. I'm sorry. They couldn't just go with the whole dead family plot they've been doing? Oh that makes the movie too short so we gotta make a whole other plot because we couldn't possibly have put some exposition in there. 

M: Keanu now magically has figured out the whole brain/robot thing because he's a super genius but clone family appear to be having some problems. And remembering things that they should not possibly be able to remember as they are CLONES and not real people. 

B: He did take the neural scan after they were dead. Maybe he forgot to cut that part out. 

M: But then why wouldn't they just...remember it and not just be having nightmares or whatever. Oh he’s gonna do it NOW. Just sedate them and scramble their brains again a little bit while they're sleeping. 

B: You fucking.....I'm sorry....

M: Clone Wife shows up while he's scrambling his teen daughter's brain and is amazingly calm about the whole situation.

B: He's just gonna explain all of this to her right now!??! Guilty conscience?! This SHOULD be the climax of the movie! His family figures out they're clone and he has to kill them again. Sometimes dead is better.

M: Nope. CloneWife is taking this all shockingly well. It's okay Keanu, I forgive you for letting us die and cloning us and scrambling our brains and doing dangerous illegal science that so far has had no real consequences.

Hey sorry I cloned you. Anyways wanna have sex?

B: I want a divorce. Single female clone with two clone children seeks roomate. Enjoys long walks on the beach. Hates fake Christmas Trees. 

M: That would at least be interesting. The CloneKids are having some issues with remembering Zoe and he's like well there might be some things happening with the thing that happened. 

B: MY GUY. His boss is here. Is that apple pie I smell? Or a CORPSE like my daddy. Keanu, did you clone your entire family? Did you happen to steal 8 millions dollars worth of science machines? 

M: Oh he knows everything. He wants Keanu's family because they're technically Evil Corp property. 

B: I know you took all of our stuff, you didn't do much to cover your tracks. We're gonna have to euthanize your family. His evil corporate overlords were lying to him! WOW.

M: We're not a biomedical corporation???

B: You should've fucking known! These guys are doing really dubious science?! OH MY GOD. 

M: I'll get the stuff, Keanu says.

B: No, your family SHOULD die, my guy! This is the comeuppance part of this story! I feel like literally every time this man is presented with a dilemma he makes the wrong decision. 

M: And now for the action part of the movie. Keanu sedates his boss and kicks his ass and now he's gotta get his CloneFamily out of dodge. But first he's gotta microwave the algorithm. 

B: This movie is both balls out insane and somehow really boring. 

M: CloneWife's eternal underacting is killing me. She does not have an appropriate response to anything. She's just like yeah okay. 

B: Nobody except Ed has reacted correctly to anything in this movie. THE ALL NEW 2018 CHEVROLET CUNTSNATCHER. So many car promos. PERFECT FOR RUNNING OVER YOUR ENEMIES. His boss woke up really fast from an injection that put Keanu's family into a coma. Some good job you did of microwaving that data, dude.

Perfect for late-night drives with your clone family.

M: And now for a vigorous chase scene. 

B: OKAY OKAY, PAUSE. LET'S TAKE A FUCKING MOMENT. Okay. Evil Corp puts tracker markers in their experimental animals. But they didn't make these animals, Keanu, YOU DID. When...exactly, did they put tracking chips in your clone family??? And if this happened automatically in the cloning process....then wouldn't you have KNOWN? Shouldn't you have thought about that? That they would KNOW that you cloned them because their tracking markers were in them?? And you DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THIS?? You fucking figured out how to cut memories out of your family's brains and you couldn't figure out how to take A TRACKING MARKER OUT?!? Okay Mr. BigBrain Big Muscle Super Genius. I need a minute. I feel like the screenwriter was making this shit up as he went along. 

M: Come on we only got half an hour left!

B: Are you FUCKING kidding me?!? Keanu Reeves is gonna have to take a lot more clothes off to redeem this movie. 

M: You're gonna be really disappointed. The tracking chips are attached to their spines or whatever so they're gonna go to the clinic to just...remove them. It's fine. Keanu literally just said they can't be removed but his CloneWife was a nurse so she's gonna fry them with a defibrillator. And this somehow works. 

B: Okay compared to the other bullshit that’s fucking plausible. Whatever. Okay. 

M: So now they're on the road again but without the tracking chips so now they can't find them or whatever. They're gonna go get on a boat. 

B: They're taking Ed's boat I guess. A real homie will help you clone your family and let you steal his boat. Ed took a bullet for him. 

M: And does he care about all the consequences for Ed? NO. He doesn't care about the consequences for anyone. 

B: Man who can figure out how to remove memories can't figure out a boat. 

M: But the bad guys are here somehow and they have Keanu's family of clones so now he's gotta go confront BossDude back at Evil Corp where Ed is pacing the floor and he's sold Keanu down the river! But to be fair...he had it coming. I would've done it ages ago. 

B: I guess this corporation is more evil than him but...like...

M: Keanu tells him he'll give him the algorithm but only if they let CloneFamily go. But he shoots Ed instead, what the hell did Ed do? 

B: He's evil big boss man he doesn't care about anybody so he had to shoot him. 

M: You don't love her, she's not even your wife! You wouldn't have done any of this if you actually gave a damn. And now Keanu has the Iron Man headband on and he's doing more brain science but he's not doing what evil boss thinks he's doing!

B: Of course, he's one step ahead of everybody. Like he totally has been the whole movie. Keanu has one moment of forethought in his entire life. 

M: He puts his supermassive big brain in the robot at Evil Corp and now it's gonna go kick some ass for him. He gives Boss the big important information but now ROBOT TIME. Robot Keanu comes in and starts just kicking ass everywhere and killing all the bad dudes so Keanu and his CloneFamily can escape.

B: The robot effects are straight out of a Harryhausen movie. 

M: Keanu gets everyone in the car but then he's like...no...I gotta go back.

B: The robot clone just obeys him?? He's just like, I can't have my robot self exist. 

M: He gotta talk to the robot. Stop him from killing evil boss even though he totally deserves to die. He's like, we can still work this out, evil boss. Just give me your brain. 

B: This man is a supervillian at this point! 

M: Robot Keanu is gonna do the evil guy brain transfer and stick around and run evil corp I guess. They could also steal Ed's brain too. 

B: Tell me this is not how the movie ends, right?

M: It is. 

B: (unholy screeching) This is just bad man does a ton of bad things and has absolutely no consequences for it!! He didn't even have to question his own moral choices!?

M: And look, they cloned Zoe. 

B: No, his wife shoots him and all his kids and that's how the movie ends. 

M: That would've been more interesting. Instead Keanu literally just becomes a rich evil dude who sells cloned bodies for a living and gets really rich. 

B: You don't have to describe anything, it's pointless. NO. 

M: SO......anyway. It's a bad movie. I'm not sure I have anything to add at this point. None of this makes sense. Whatever character arc they were going for failed miserably. The plot is so full of holes it makes The Core look like a well thought out movie. 

B: Okay...for fucking real?? I mean maybe they were trying to play it that he 'turned into the villain' at the very end but the problem was he was the villain from the very start! Maybe they were trying to fuckin' 'subvert expectations' or whatever but subverting expectations doesn't automatically make something good!!! I wish fucking hack fraud filmmakers would get that through their fucking three-foot-thick neanderthal craniums! This is fucking nonsense! It has no establishing action and just follows the story of a man doing literally the wrong thing at every passing moment and he never even has to confront the immorality of his actions. And yeah, you can root for the villain in a story, but there has to be some *reason* to root for them! They have to be interesting! Or charismatic! Also, the writing is terrible, the acting is terrible, and the pacing is utter nonsense! What is it with these bad movies and having no concept of pacing??

M: I don't know. I can't believe most of these ever pass the pitch meeting. Munch and Biscuits out, yo.

#replicas #munchflix #keanu reeves #movie review #scifi #clone #cloning #robots #evil corp