#this quote makes me feel insane fyi

[rosehalls]

she looked up at him, her face so trusting and hopeful and open that he knew she had no idea that he had done unspeakable things that sullied his hands far beyond their scars. such terrible things that it was a sacrilege for his fingers to skin, tainting her with his presence.

#acotar #elriel #this quote makes me feel insane fyi #a court of thorns and roses #a court of silver flames #acosf #elain archeron #elainarcheronedit #acotaredit #acotarnet #litedit #bookedit #sjmedit #literatureladies #elrieledit #acosfedit #azriel #elain #sarah j mass #*mine: graphics

[talesfromthebacklog]

Tales From The Frontlog: Princess Peach Showtime.

7/10

Princess Peach Showtime is good. It’s a game I’m willing to bet will be overlooked in the sea of Mario titles that exist on the Switch. It’ll probably be even a bit pricey down the line. The smaller weird titles like this tend to do that.

The best way to describe this game is that it’s a game about a being magical girl who uses various transformations to help people. When you look hard enough almost all the tropes are there and that alone makes this worth a pickup. Because games that are so blatantly like that are rare.

But you really feel like it’s missing something that could’ve made it truly special. Which is weird because it does offer a very complete experience. I guess the best way to put it is it has trouble feeling like a “Mario” world title. And not because Mario is missing. Give me some credit.

I had a fantastic time playing, but we’re about the dissect what I think Princess Peach Showtime is missing.

Firstly I want to get aesthetic out of the way. Partially because there were a lot arguments online if Peach was “fem” enough. Which was peak stupidity. Peach is the fem of fems. It was insane this was even an argument. Also these outfits rocked.

But more importantly her game really lacked that Mario pop. Peach is fun, the premise is great, but you really could swap out Peach for a different magical girl and the premise/world still work. Peach just sells better. And she’s cute. Just look at her.

And I’m not complaining about the absence of most of the Mario cast. Characters as individuals should be able to shine on their own. Peach being the only main cast member used was a great decision. But you don’t feel like you’re in that high fantasy Mario environment. Even when away from the Mushroom Kingdom mario still has a very specific look to it.

Mario is high fantasy in its own way. I wanted to see that better reflected in Princess Peach Showtime. Every once in a while you do see glimpses, specifically in a Paper Mario way. Where the backgrounds are obviously set dressing, the horses have strings, some thorns were cardboard cut out, etc.

I think they needed to lean into this more. In a way I think the environment needed to be less immersive. I get that “there’s evil magic” but I think it should’ve looked a bit more hokey like real plays. Also put some people in the audience watching Peach rescue people. Have curtains close at the end of levels instead of it fading to white and then closing. You’re closing the curtain. You don’t need the fade to white. They’re small details that would’ve gone a long way to really increase the look. Maybe even bring some of the lighting in as part of the platforming where you’re running on the equipment and then reenter on a stage over.

It might be a useless complaint. I think this might’ve been more of a quick budget title for Nintendo at the end of a console life cycle, but don’t quote me on that.

There’s small aesthetic nitpicks I have too.

Like what the fuck is this? And they do this with the green and blue dresses too where they add this clashing purple. I’m not going to sit here and tell you she looks hideous. She doesn’t, but let us have a dress that is completely blue! And they don’t match the shoe color to any of the dresses fyi. Those stay her traditional red. I know that’s a nitpick, like a really small one, but it still… bothers me. I understand why they put it there. I just don’t care. Purple and yellow? And so lazily executed? Hmpf.

And she obviously looks better when everything matches to some degree. Look at that! Why did they restrict the color palette on the dress options so much. I get that pink is her color but… come on. The costumes are allowed to break the mold but the dresses aren’t?

Also just missed opportunity for some simple easter egg dresses. Especially since some of those challenges are tedious as all get out. I did all that to earn this ⬇️ and not something genuinely cool. Fucking ick. It’s not bad looking but not worth doing a frustrating to control challenge for. I’m not even asking for new dress models. But let us put her in a Daisy dress or something. I don’t know.

And the levels… are always fun on a first play through. But if you’re playing without a guide as a completionist you’ll need to run through them more than once because it is easy to miss stuff. And it can be more time consuming than it’s worth. And when you’re on a fourth attempt that shit gets old quick.

Don’t get it twisted though: this game is short, sweet, and regularly mixes up the gameplay to keep gamer’s on their toes. There are no costumes or game mechanics that overstay their welcome. Whenever I walked into a new stage I was uncertain what I would be walking into and the costumes are all equally fun in different ways. They do a good job balancing out the adventure and recreation costumes too. So you get a break from faster paced action by baking instead. Smart. My favorite is you get a magical girl transformation for each new costume you get and only for the first time you get it.

The transformations are fun. Plain and simple.

From a gameplay perspective I don’t actually have that many complaints. It’s not complicated by any means, nor is it hard. But it’s not meant to be those things. Princess Peach Showtime is just a fun cozy game getaway. Maybe even something you play in between other games.

Then there’s Madame Grape. I get what they were going for. They wanted a fruit villain because they have a “fruit” protagonist. (I think there is an homage to Dionysus as well.) But it’s just very eh. I don’t know how to fix that to make it less eh. I think it’s a core design problem. Additionally Madame Grape, despite being mentioned throughout the entire story, isn’t very important. She is a vessel for the plot to exist. Which isn’t inherently a bad thing, a lot of Nintendo villains fill this role, but she also has no iconic qualities to her either. She’s just kind’ve this purple blob that shows up from time to time. I do like that Nintendo didn’t use Bowser though. It keeps the game female centric. So that’s cool.

I can’t get over how she needs to look more grape themed. I know Peach doesn’t necessarily have Peach themes but like… you could’ve told me she was the fucking plum queen and I would’ve believed you. But I’m nitpicking again.

Stella the helper is… nothing. She exists as the vessel to make Peach a magical girl. Stella is the magical girl pet/wand/narrator for the adventure. She’s not bad. She’s just nothing.

The other NPCs (both friend and foe) fall into that Nintendo hole of being the same cardboard cutout person in different costumes over and over too. (At least they had different costumes…) Which is to be expected at this point, they’re just “not Toads”. And I know not every game can have a Mario Odyssey budget but I feel like we needed more visual variety within the NPC cast. Though this is an old ass complaint folks have had about Mario titles for a while so I’m not going to dwell on it too much.

Also while “stars” make sense the little “not toads” should’ve been fruit themed too. That way you could at least swap out multiple colors and call them different “fruits” if you wanted to be lazy about it.

I guess that’s the issue with the game in general. The only real character that has any semblance of personality is Peach. Everything and everyone else is just set dressing so Peach can perform for the player. it makes sense but it leaves the world feeling empty. And I’m not asking for lore. This is not that kind of game. I think I just want more substance. Which is hard to do when you’re boiling down tropes into a 3 act structure for each costume.

And I have a lot of nitpicks here. Almost like I dislike the game. Which was not the case at all. I had a grand time. The costumes are fun, it’s fun to play all the way through, and the levels in the game itself also doesn’t overstay its welcome. At max you’re looking at a 12 hour experience if you’re a completionist.

Under ten if you just want to play it.

Visually the game is beautiful. The music was nothing to write home about.

But. I think because it’s a short experience I’m disappointed it didn’t push itself harder to be high aesthetic. Games that are both genuinely good and girly are hard to find. Often “feminine focused” games like this just fucking suck. You can tell Nintendo cared about this project.

But I think to be an 8 or 9 experience it needed to push its visuals a bit harder.

#princess peach #peach #princess toadstool #mario #mario bros #super mario bros #super mario #princess peach showtime #peach showtime #nintendo switch #nintendo #tales from the frontlog #magical girl #magical girls #video game review #game review #game reviews

[kikithefox231]

About me!

Hey! Call me Kiki or Amaryllis! I mainly scream about animation and cartoons here! :D ☆ Status:

look im gonna do what’s called a Pro Gamer move

*projects all my emotions and worries and mannerisms onto fictional characters*

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⋆｡° ✩ More info ✩ °｡⋆

Fandoms: (Bolded + Italicised are the one's I am screaming and crying over right now) Amphibia ✮ The Owl House ✮ Svtfoe ✮ Gravity Falls ✮ Miraculous Ladybug ✮ The Dragon Prince ✮ She-Ra (Reboot) ✮ Ducktales (Reboot) ✮ Pokemon ✮ Over the Garden Wall ✮ Infinity Train ✮ Glitch Techs ✮ Kipo and the Age of the Wonderbeasts ✮ Phineas and Ferb ✮ Milo Murphy's Law ✮ MLP ✮ Warrior Cats ✮ Your Name ✮ Weathering with You ✮ Suzume ✮ HTTYD ✮ Your Lie In April ✮ Exu ✮ Critical Role c3 ✮ Wolfwalkers ✮ Aggretsuko ✮ Genshin Impact ✮ Honkai Star Rail ✮ Animal Crossing ✮ Neko Atsume ✮ Spiderverse ✮ Murder Drones ✮ Nisekoi ✮ Nimona ✮ Zootopia ✮ Sonic Franchise ✮ Littlest Pet Shop ✮ Keeper of the Lost Cities ✮ Tamako Love Story ✮ Spy x family ✮ Percy Jackson and the Olympians ✮ One Stormy Night ✮

The Blorbos ever!!! Marcy Wu ✦ Star Butterfly ✦ Fluttershy ✦ Starlight Glimmer ✦ Cinnamoroll ✦ Willow Park ✦ Miko Kubota ✦ Jesse Cosay ✦ Lake ✦ Hazel ✦ Rayla ✦ Marinette Dupain Cheng ✦ Adrien Agreste ✦ Robyn Goodfellowe ✦ Mebh Óg MacTíre ✦ Leafpool ✦ Hollyleaf ✦ Yae Miko ✦ Sucrose ✦ Lady ✦ Webby Vanderquack ✦ Della Duck ✦ Fearne Calloway ✦ Goldie ✦ Gwen Stacy ✦ Serial Designation N ✦ Chitoge Kirisaki ✦ Miles "Tails" Prower ✦ Amy Rose ✦ Zoe Trent ✦ Penny Ling ✦ Coco Pommel ✦ March 7th ✦ Bailu ✦ Huohuo ✦ Anya Froyer ✦ Mabel Pines ✦ Dipper Pines ✦ Pacifica Northwest ✦ Mei ✦

Socials: AO3 ✧ Amarylily YT ✧ Amaryllis Spotify ✧ Kikithefox Amphibia Sideblog ✧ brb-crying-over-amphibia ML Sideblog ✧ chaton-et-buguinette Svtfoe incorrect quotes blog ✧ incorrectstarvs Hubris Bracket Blog ✧ hubrisbracket

Tags I Track: #fav - favorite posts/posts I want to find later #my stuff #kiki stuff - both used for tracking my original content #kiki rambles - for stuff where I talk a lot in the notes #tagged - for tracking stuff I'm tagged in #Important!!! - important posts #funnies - posts that made me laugh #ive been personally attacked - what it says on the tin lol #thanks for asking! - for asks answered by me #thanks for answering! - for asks sent by me #bee bestie <3 - starting to use this tag for posts where I'm tagged by @mell0bee or mention bee bc there's so much and I wanna save them 🥺 Ultimate fav posts! ✪ Amphibia Trio Playlists ✪ Amity’s TRUE Hair Color!!1!1! ✪ PARTNER IN CRINGE!!! ✪ One of the most insane posts on this website (affectionate) ✪ HE'S SO CUTE SHUT UUUUP (picture of Georgia) ✪ Follow your dreams ✪ Leafpool request (spoiler: got kissed on the forehead 🥺🥺🥺) ✪ Princess Joe (of USA) ✪ "i appreciate the (extremely cursed) bee bee." ✪ polyamorous power move ✪ happy robotnik slaughter saturday everybody ✪ IT FINALLY MAKES SENSE TO ME ✪ it's okay fish. don't let this get you down. you are all of you. ✪ AROACE AND TRANS SONIC REAL?????? (NOT CLICKBAIT) ✪ Everything is canon. ✪ cant be mentally ill in PEACE!!! *sobs* ✪ last book that made you cry ✪ disney romcom (on a VERY evil and fucked up train) ✪ LGBT bar so good it made someone gay <3 good for them <3 ✪ POLY PLS ✪ Happy birthday Grimace! *fuckin dies* ✪ y’all are always finding new ways to make fossils fuels. ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ ✪ (updating soon!)

Likes and Dislikes! ♡ Tea ♡ one-liners that cause me to break down immediately ♡ Extremely specific aus catered to me directly ♡ amvs ♡ Alt/indie music ✘ Confrontation ✘ Heavy gore ✘ Waking up early ✘ Horror movies ✘ Fermented Black Beans

Hobbies!

⟡ Traditional + digital art

⟡ graphic design

⟡ writing

⟡ singing

⟡ sowing

⟡ crochet

Personal: ✿ I get socially anxious easily so I will try my best to communicate how I feel but just fyi in case! ✿ My memory is horrible so feel free to remind me of something if needed! ✿ I have ADHD so please be nice :’) I’m trying my best

Extras: ❀ I don't mind being tagged in things if we are mutuals! If you're not sure just ask me in advance! ❀ feel free to ask for me to use tone tags or tag trigger warnings for posts! If you'd like me to ID a post let me know! ❀ spam liking/reblogging is welcome! ^^ ❀ feel free to ask my a question! I am not guaranteed to answer it if I feel uncomfortable with it, however! ❀ fun fact: this URL is my animal jam username from ages ago lol

❀ I got called a donut once???

DNI List Please don't interact with me if you post: -nsfw -heavy gore -do not tag triggers -cp -extreme horror

⋆｡˚ credits: purple city divider ⟡ moon dividers

#kiki stuff #tw moving image #about me #cw gif

[kim-ruzek]

I've tried to keep my mouth shut and show empathy were I can in this CP fandom, especially since I have been an avid watcher since season 1 but I can't hold it in any longer. I will miss Jesse a whole bunch and this is a very sticky situation. But reading tweets from people telling Burzek stans to let fans grieve a character that is leaving, to stop being judgemental and to not trash what someone else loves.

But excuse me, this goes both ways. The amount of nasty tweets from Upstead stans is unbelievable! Just some of the things I've read about Burzek from Upstead stans - "rinse and repeat ship", "Burzek winning by default", "sloppy second ship" and "Upstead is the superior ship".

The advice also applies to them, you can be angry all you want but don't trash or demean what others in CP fandom love.

Asking Burzek stans to show empathy and grace while we are given none in return is what makes this fandom not a nice place to be a part of. I support Jesse and I wish him the absolute best but this experience has left me mentally drained and exhausted trying to stay positive about the characters, ship and show that I love. I can't imagine the words that are going to be said as the season progresses.

Ugh I mean a huge amount of upstead stans are just (yknow probably won't put words to this, that's for my dms only ascghjkgh gotta have plausible deniability after all lol) but twitter + upstead stans... they're the ones that brings out the petty in me (if you know you know).

I think it's just so ridiculous that it's hard to grasp what other fans not of upstead are frustrated by. Like I give them a lot more benefit of the doubt than I would ordinarily because like grief makes your emotions weird but also I don't have much good faith left in me because of their frustrating attitude for the last year and a half (when I joined the fandom fyi not saying they've only been like that since then). Like if they're attitude was different earlier on I'd have a lot more good faith but eh.

It is utterly ridiculous as well because by far and large they are what makes this fandom not nice (although there are so Wild burzek stans out there, on twitter) and like just I know that if it was marina or paddy leaving they wouldn't even give an ounce of empathy or grace that has been shown to them. And everyone's given them a LOT of empathy... We just want also to be able to be excited about this show still.

The nasty tweets are really so Out There, especially all the ones you quoted, like what gets me is the innate competition built into them. Like the concept of a ship winning isn't actually meant to be an actual competition, and when it is it's only when there's a common character in common (but even then I'm like don't make it one), and calling one ship superior (in this context) is just,,, that's not what fandom is about. Everyone has their merits and demerits of ships and it's just not able to be compared in that way. Like I personally don't see the point of upstead (I do technically but imo a lot of it has been tell not shown) but that doesn't make it inferior, especially because I know how much it means to others.

Also I just find the whole attitude towards burzek fans insane and ridiculous and I'd say I'm shocked that it hasn't changed during this whole news thing but I'd be lying. And Im not looking forward to what is going to be said during the season, and it's going to make me petty, I know it is, and I hate that bc I love Jesse and I don't want to be counting the time down to when he'll leave (although the attitude probably won't stop after that).

Thank you for this ask!! 💖 Sorry for the rant a little, I cut myself off before I went too in depth, but I guess I'm feeling a little grumpy today (I was going to answer with more decorum especially as I've been interacting with some lovely folks of late but I'm a bit of a grump-- despite, lol, me watching taskmaster clips to get myself in a better mood before answering ascghjkgh)

#ree's asks #chicago pd #burzek #thank you for asking!!! 💖 #leaving this until the end of the day probably wasn't my best move bc i start getting more tired #and i can't drink my lucozade but apparently my mind only gets into ask answering gear at night lol

[sodasback]

The Kegger - For You Series

JJ Maybank x Allie Routledge (John B’s younger sister)

 Allie was sitting on a log next to some tourist, a good looking guy, who was obviously not in high school. JJ turned to look at them when Allie let out an exaggerated giggle at something dumb the tourist said and then he watched while the stupid touron’s hand started to move from it’s spot on her knee and up her bare thigh. JJ didn’t know it but he was crushing his beer can and clenched his jaw so loud that Pope and Kie noticed. 

“WOW! You are so jealous!” Kie said teasingly to JJ. 

“What?” JJ said pulled from his trance of imagining breaking the nose of the touron that had his hands on Allie. “Pfft! No! She’s like my little sister! I’m just being protective.” JJ defended. 

“Really? ‘Cause her actual brother barely cares.” Pope nodded towards John B. talking to some friends at the keg, completely not concerned with Allison and the guy flirting with her. 

“Please J, we all know you’ve always had a thing for Allie.” Kie said. 

“I do not! It’s Allie. I’d never do that to John B.” JJ said reminding himself more than trying to convince Pope and Kie.

“So if she wasn’t John B.’s little sister, you’d admit you’re in love with her?” 

JJ glared at the two of them before groaning. “I’m not talking to you guys anymore. I’m not in love with Allie!” He emphasized as he walked away. 

Pope and Kie smiled at each other, “So he’s totally head over heels for her right?” Pope asked.

“Oh 1000%” Kie agreed.

Allie saw JJ approach and shot him a glare knowing he was about to interrupt her and try to cock block this tourist, but he didn’t even glance at her, just squeezed in between Allie and the tourist on the log. 

“Dude, what the fuck?” the tourist asked, obviously pissed off at the interruption. 

“Oh. hey man! Sorry, didn’t see you there.” JJ said sarcastically, putting his arm around Allie’s shoulders, “did I interrupt you hitting on my 17 year old baby sister? ...yeah, dude, I know she’s a minor, so I feel like-” 

“This is your brother?” The tourist interrupted. 

“No! He’s not.” Allie said sharply, looking at JJ and pushing his muscly arm off of her, “He’s just jealous, but trying to pretend he’s being protective instead.”

JJ looked at her and smirked as he drank from his solo cup, obviously proud of himself and amused as the tourist looked confused and then sighed, fed up with the drama this was turning into. “Whatever” he said walking away.

“What the fuck JJ?!” Allie yelled at him as she stood up to face him still seated on the log. 

“Ya know, I feel like people are always saying that to me!” he chuckled sarcastically, but Allison was not amused, “What Allie?! Are you seriously mad at me for saving you from a hugely disappointing 5 minutes that doesn’t end with you in an orgasm?” He raised his eyebrows as he sipped his beer again. 

She just gaped at his bold statement. 

“And you know what Allie? I’m not jealous! You’re like my litter sister!” he scoffed. And JJ didn’t miss the flash of disappointment cross Allie’s face, which she failed to hide fast enough. 

He cocked his head to the side while the grin on his face grew. “Wait a damn minute! Was that disappointment I just saw? You want me to be jealous, don’t you?” He asked standing up and getting excited while Allie crossed her arms and put on her best poker face. “You want me to look at you as something other than a little sister, don’t you?!” he teased further as he looked down at her, trying to break her. 

“I don’t know JJ, do guys practically break their necks trying to check out their ‘little sister’s’ ass in a bikini?” she asked indignantly, using air quotes. 

“I never-” JJ smiled and shook his head, but she interrupted and leaned in next to his ear, “Or get hard watching me eat a popsicle?” 

And she saw JJ’s jaw drop a little and she pulled away from him, “Yeah. I knew you were watching me dumbass ...you really think that’s how I would normally eat a popsicle?”

JJ just closed his mouth and rolled his lips into each other knowing he lost this battle. “Later ...bro” Allie said walking away from him.

...

Allie continued to get a little drunk, because even though she was annoyed at JJ for cock-blocking her with the tourist, the fact that JJ might be jealous gave her all kinds of satisfaction, which only reminded her that she liked JJ way more than her brother’s best friend. And she had a feeling JJ knew this too, and yet, there he was along with John B entertaining a whole group of girls. JJ caught Allie scowling at him and he just gave her a smirk and a wink before going back to making his new-found groupies giggle. Allie rolled her eyes and downed another screwdriver. Then she had an idea. As immature and petty as it was, she decided 2 could play at this game. 

Allie grabbed the bag of cut-up limes, the tequila and the salt. She stood on top of the one giant wooden table someone had built and left down here at Boneyard party years ago. "Who wants to do body shots?!" She yelled. Immediately, a dozen boys and some eager girls surrounded the table. She didn't even look over to see if JJ had heard. Allie helped a girl lay on the table and after a guy licked some salt off her stomach, took a shot of some tequila and then took the lime out of her mouth.

"Hey, when is it your turn?" one of the hot tourists asked Allie. She smiled and hopped up on the table to lay down.

What Allie didn't see was John B and JJ exchanging admonishing glances. JJ shook his head and walked over to the table indicating he would handle it.

"Allie, what are you doing?" JJ asked, annoyed as he reached the table. She sat up leaning back on her elbows and narrowed her eyes at him.

"Why do you care JJ? You jealous?" She cruelly teased with an edge to her voice. JJ just glared at her, before looking away and shaking his head yet again at her antics, "Or you just don't want your 'little sister' acting like a whore?" she asked taking off her tank top and throwing it at him, before she poured salt in the cleavage revealed by her bikini top.

The tourist slightly pushed JJ out of the way as he bent down to lick it off her, but JJ shoved him hard before he could touch Allie. Then JJ grabbed Allie's arm and pulled her off the table. "Come on!" He said dragging her through the party.

Allie chuckled darkly as she struggled to keep up, "This whole jealous toxic masculinity doesn't look good on you, just fyi." But JJ ignored her, pulling her to a secluded area. Allie had to admit though, this was her plan all along and even though it definitely was not a healthy way to get JJ’s attention, she couldn’t lie and say she wasn’t actually super turned on by what was happening.

"What JJ?! What?! You came in like the bad big brother and pulled me away! Now what?"

"What is wrong with you Allie?! Letting random guys do body shots off of you?! You were about to let that guy lick your tits?! What the fuck?! You think that's cool to get wasted and let guys just take advantage of you?"

"First of all, I'm not fucking wasted! Secondly, they aren't taking advantage if I'm consenting to it dumbass. And three, it's frickin harmless! It's not like I'm fucking random tourists every weekend!" She threw at him.

JJ stared at her angrily with a furrow in his brow for a minute. "Yeah?! What was that earlier tonight then, huh?! Were you not gonna go home with that fucking touron if I hadn't interrupted?"

"Okay, so my one time versus your dozens of girls?!" She threw her hands out as they continued yelling at each other.

"Why do you think I do that Allie?! Huh?! Why do you think I hookup with random girls?"

She looked at him confused. "What the fuck, JJ?" she muttered, "Because you're a fucking horny teenage fuckboy? How am I supposed to know?!"

"You ever think it's because I can’t be with the girl I want to be with ...because she’s my best friend’s little sister? And everyone on this island knows I’m no good for her?! So yeah, I sleep with random girls, smoke all day, get in fights and just, in general, be a fuck up, because I might as well live up to everyone’s expectations of me, right? ...If I can’t have the one girl I’ve been in love with since we were kids, then what’s the point of trying to be better?” He finished, shrugging and staring at her, furrow in his brow still present.

Allie stayed quiet for a second, as the tension in her face relaxed at the realization that JJ was actually admitting feelings for her and then returning as she heard what JJ thought of himself.

“Whatever, just forget it okay?” He muttered and started to walk past her. 

“JJ, wait!” She called after him.

He stopped, but didn’t turn around yet, just let out a sigh, “What Allie?” He asked tiredly and started to turn around. Allie walked up to him and crashed her lips on his. No softness or gentleness about it, just 11 years of pining after one another sparking a fire that ignited when their lips touched. JJ’s arms instantly around Allie’s waist, pulling her as close as possible. Her hands on his cheek and neck, fingers snaking through his hair. 

They pulled apart, breathing heavy, foreheads pressed together. “I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember JJ Maybank.” She whispered. He searched her face for a second making sure this was real before kissing her again. 

As much as Allie never wanted to stop kissing JJ, she also had something important to tell him, so she pulled away and held his face in her hands. “You might think you’re a fuck-up. But I think you’re charming and ...and fucking electric and insanely smart and fiercely loyal. You are the most amazing guy with the biggest heart and if you ever talk that way about my JJ again, I’ll have to kick your ass.”

“Oh, I’m your JJ now, huh?” he smirked.

“Damn straight ...always have been.” She smirked back before kissing again.

Taglist: @abbyj1822 @october-cameron @moonrisebeach @hernameisnoell @moniamaybank @railmerafe @phantompogues @jeyramarie @gabiatthedisco @baby-cakes-98 @lemur46 @lexieee304 @jjpogueprincess @imjustanothernerd 

#JJ Maybank x OC #JJ Maybank x Allie Routledge #JJ Maybank #Outer Banks #outer banks imagine #Obx fan fiction #obx #For You Series

[chattingwiththelightkeeper]

Insanity

Albert Einstein is widely credited with saying “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results” and while I have no idea if that is indeed an authentic Einstein quote or just misattributed to him but it certainly applies to the D/S, especially online. Since this quote or saying is in my mind today as I sit pecking away at my keyboard, I want to share some of the mistakes I see happening over and over with people expecting things to be different with their next lifestyle relationship.

I want to start with what should be obvious but sadly it needs to be said, guys, unless someone asks to see your baloney pony do NOT send it. FYI, this is not what anyone means when they say a ‘head shot’.

And ladies, I am a firm believer that if you are looking for more than a spring fling, do not send pictures of your boobies or naughty bits. Instead of showing those, try sending a picture of your thoughts, without any filters. In other words, use words rather than a sexy selfie to intrigue a person of interest.

Speaking of sex, there is a difference between taking enjoyment out of being dominant, submissive, or even switching during coitus. Enjoying kinkeriffic fuckery does not mean you are a d, s, or switch type. All this means is that you enjoy kinky sex and it does not mean you are into D/S. I have no issues with anyone who enjoys exploring and engaging in fetish fabulous fuckery but understand this does not mean you are into D/S.

A word of warning when it comes to bow-chick-a-wow-wow, if a person you are getting to know only wants to talk about this, or it dominates the conversation, this means that is what the person is seeking. Yes, kinky people can and should talk about sex, there is a difference between having a kinky coitus conversation and having it dominate the conversation.

Submissives, this is something that is said over and over and over and yes over again but if I did not keep seeing this, it would not need to be said. No dominant will ever ask you for, demand, or attempt to bully you to gain your submission.

S-types avoid, block, and run, do not walk, away from anyone who says something like this to you, “If you were a real submissive you would…”, “A true submissive would do���”, or in any way tries to make you feel less than or implies that you are not a real s-type because you would not do as they wished. This is not dominance however it is bullying.

Dominants, beware of the faux submissive especially online. Some state they are an s-type but what they are wanting is for you to pay for their life. As long as you pay, they will do as you say but fail to pay, they fail to do. This is not D/S and you are getting scammed. While this lifestyle does have ‘pay to play’ people, exchanging money for submission, or dominance for that matter, is not a real relationship. Although if any submissives want to pay for my skiing addiction, I will be your dominant as long as you send me to the Sierra backcountry and heliskiing in Valdez Alaska each winter. I promise to share lots of pictures. Since this is online, I am joking on the last bit so settle down trolls.

D/S relationships are still relationships which means no one can match up kinks and expect to have a successful partnership. Experience has taught me that just like our vanilla friends, we have to match up people and when the right people come together, fetishes and kinks have always worked themselves out, very nicely I might add.

Here is a question that I believe everyone in the lifestyle needs to ask when they are getting to know someone and this is “what does this mean for you?” I say this because one person’s definition of a role, kink, or anything lifestyle-related can and does often vary. So while a person may say they are a daddy, for example, how they define it might be 180 degrees different than you. So please do not forget this question and ask it often.

Slow them horses down, partner. There seems to be such a rush to find love or even a partner within the lifestyle that people often leap before they look. Once again experience has taught me that relationships that start fast, end fast. Take your time, reign in your desire to move quickly, and take your time. That wonderful prospect is not going anywhere and on a personal note, I expect a d-type to be able to say, “I am very intrigued by you but we need to move at a comfortable pace even if it might feel a touch cautious”. Dominants, the relationship this will save most likely will be your own, do not rush it.

Dominants, your relationship work does not stop when a submissive offers their gift of submission. There is no retreating to a relationship recliner because the real work of dominance begins when this moment happens. Remember every single day I believe a dominant must earn their s-type’s submission. There is no taking a day off and while there will be times when dominants must lean on their submissive, especially when life gets challenging, a dominant’s work is never done.

No relationship is ever going to be perfect. Everyone changes, grows, and matures as they journey through life. Dominants and submissives must continually work to ensure that the relationship grows together as they grow. Failure to do this will lead to partners growing apart.

Giving trust is an important part of any relationship from friendship to a relationship but before you trust, insist on verifying a person is worthy of your trust.

Trust your gut. If you feel that something is not right, trust yourself and step back or away from the person. In the world of D/S online, this is especially true if you suspect that a person is married/committed, trust yourself because you are most likely right.

Speaking of married and cheating, oh and by the way, it is not married/committed and poly if the other person’s partner(s) do not know. Often these folks will be unable to text, talk, or video chat during traditional periods of downtime, for example, weekends. If your potential partner disappears evenings, weekends, or refuses to video chat, they are indeed hiding something and most likely that is a partner that has no idea they are kinky and seeking.

Remember everything that happens in a D/S relationship occurs with consent. If there is no consent, it is not play but abuse.

There is NEVER a valid reason for a dominant or submissive to ignore or disregard a safeword. A safeword means stop and stop now. I believe ignoring a safeword is abuse and anyone who has a partner who does not respond to one needs to exit both the situation and the relationship immediately. There is NO excuse.

Additionally, dominants you need a safeword too. Why? Here is an example, you have your adoring submissive bound and they are lost in the joys of play but you notice Grandma walking up the drive with a plate of homemade cookies to drop off to her favorite couple. Time to stop play, trigger the submissive that everything must stop ASAP, thus a safeword. Or here is a less pleasant example, before coming home for an evening of kinkeriffic play, dinner out included food that you did not realize was going to cause that wonderful joy, food poisoning. The urge to run to the bathroom hits after you have your submissive in a position that could be harmful if they are left unattended. Having a safeword stops play, so you can quickly get the s-type safe and sound so they can hold your hair while you worship the porcelain god. Seriously, d-types not-so-fun things can happen to you as well, so have a safeword.

No one needs permission to end a relationship. Submissives, please I beg of you, do not fall for the malarkey that your d-type must permit the partnership to end. This is crap-oh-la. Any person and any role can say “peace, I am out of here” any time they wish and for any reason.

Speaking of relationship termination, I see this question asked in different ways but in essence, it is the same question daily, “My d or s type has not talked to me 2 weeks (often more), are we still in a relationship?” Here is the brutal answer, no you are not. The real world is not a pretty place and a sudden or gradual decline/stoppage in communication is equal to ending a partnership. It is not pretty, kind, or anything nice but this is the cold truth.

On the subject of communication, for the love of Pete people, remember that you have chosen to enter or explore an adult lifestyle, D/S. I believe this means you must be able to have grown-up conversations. Life is not easy, relationships can be hard, and both require saying things that need to be said even if they are not ‘easy’. So if you cannot have a challenging conversation, please step back, learn those skills before forging ahead in D/S.

There is a saying often used about crime but we need to apply it to the lifestyle and the saying is “if you see something, say something”. It does not matter if you see dangerous behavior from a friend, acquaintance, or stranger, the world is a small town. I feel the D/S community needs to remember this and it is each of our responsibilities to step up and say something. There is no need to be rude or condescending when we do this but as a community, we need to reach out, be kind and yet express the concern. It is true that the person we speak to may reject what we have to say, may not be kind in return, but we need to look out for community members the same we would hope our friends would look out for us. So please, if you see something, say something but remember to do so with kindness, not condescension.

Lastly and I believe this is the most important thing I have to share today, safety is your responsibility. There is no one coming to save you if you do not keep yourself safe. This applies to dominants too. Do not think it cannot happen to you because, news flash, it can and it will if you do not mitigate your risk.

As with all of my writings, please see this disclaimer.

©TLK2021

[heyheydidjaknow]

Chapter 11

Guess who's back? Back again. Back three hours late, but back nonetheless. I'd feel more sorry if I was more sorry. This is officially the longest chapter as of now, so, yay. Someone challenged me to not swear for a chapter, and I believe I fulfilled that requirement. I'm just gonna go sleep.

Update: APPARENTLY, TUMBLR DOES THE TRANSFER FORMATTING THING ON LAPTOPS AND I HATE EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE RIGHT NOW SO MUCH. I usually do all my editing on my phone, so I knew no such luxury. I have never been more pissed. That is a lie, but my anger is still very genuine.

Chapter 11

“Where were you?”

The younger brother looks up at his senior. “Huh?”

“You were gone all night.” Leonardo leans against the door, crossing his arms. “Don’t look so surprised; I started getting up early to meditate.”

He shrugs in feigned nonchalance, already dreading the ensuing conversation. “Out.”

“And where’s ‘Out’?”

Donnie slides out of his chair, deciding his straining eyes need a break. “Just went to check on Y/N is all.” He rubs them with his arm, quietly noting the sounds of fighting in the dojo were starting to cease as he sits on the couch. His rounds of sparring with Leonardo were finished a little over an hour ago; a part of him is grateful it took him this long to corner him.

This got a raised brow. “You were checking on her for hours?”

He does not look him in the eye. “It’s not impossible.”

“In the middle of the night?”

“It wasn’t that late,” he argues.

“Donnie,” he presses, “you didn’t get home until five in the morning. Where were you?”

He feels his face heat up. “I said.”

Leo leans down to look his brother in the eye. “Final answer?”

He swallows a yawn. “Look, I know it was stupid—”

“I didn’t say it was stupid.”

“No,” he snips, mildly irritable from a lack of sleep. “You implied it.”

The doors to the dojo slide open, the disgruntled look on Raphael’s face all the evidence the other two need to know who won.

Mikey dives onto the couch, sprawling out next to his slightly older brother. “Did you ask yet?”

“I did.” He glances at the disgruntled boy. “Donnie was, apparently, at Y/N’s all night.”

The reaction is immediate.

“Details!” The small victor sits up, leaning forward on his knees in usual attentiveness. “Was she good?”

“What did you—shut up, Mikey.” Raph’s attention snaps back to his tallest brother. “What did you do to her? Did you—”

“Wait, hold on!” Donnie’s face feels uncomfortably hot. “N-Nothing happened!”

“Yeah, sure.” The second eldest rolls his eyes. “You think we fell off the truck yesterday? Who stays with a girl all night in her room without something happening? Nobody,” he cuts him off before he can defend himself.

The youngest’s voice rises over his brother’s before he can continue. “Dude, big picture!” He gestures to his brown-eyed brother. “He got with a girl first! He has valid info or whatever he says and stuff!”

“What are you two even talking about?” He wrings his hands. “Look, nothing happened!”

“Then what were you doing at her house,” Raphael eggs. “You weren’t just sitting there, right?”

“… no.”

“Then what were you doing there?”

He pauses, the two excitable boys waiting on bated breath. “She wanted me to spend the night,” he explains carefully, “because she was having bad nightmares and didn’t want to sleep alone.” He leans back, tossing his hands in the air. “That’s all.”

Silence falls.

“So,” clarifies Raphael, “you spent however many hours in her room, in her bed, and you didn’t make a move?”

“I—look!” The conversation is taking a shift for the worse. “I was trying to be nice! The last thing she needed was me doing whatever you’re insinuating!”

“He has a point,” Michelangelo nods knowingly. “Brownie points are key.”

“When did I say I was doing this for brownie points?”

“Look,” the eldest interjects. “Regardless of whether or not he was doing the ‘smart’ thing—” air quotes, “my bigger concern is that you didn’t bother calling to let us know where you were. You could’ve—Raph, do you have something to say?”

He rolls his eyes. “Are you really gonna act like you wouldn’t do the exact same thing if it were you?”

The leader pauses. “Would you like to take this somewhere more private?”

“Sure.” A venomous smile curls Raph’s lips. “Dojo?”

“Bring it.”

As the two leave, Donnie looks back over at Mikey. “Okay,” he sighs, “did I miss something?”

A shrug. “Man," he grins brazenly, "bold of you to assume I follow half of the things you guys say.”

He pulls his T-Phone from his utility belt. “Do you think I did the right thing? Honestly?”

Another shrug. “I dunno.” He looks over his older brother’s shoulder, reading the text on the screen curiously. “Can’t have gone too bad, though, if you two’ve been textin’ all day.

He pushes his head away with his free hand. “It hasn’t been all day,” he corrects. “She just filled me in on this week’s episode and we just kept talking after that.” He smiles faintly. “Although, she did check to see if I got home alright.”

“Hey, that’s totally progress!” He grins encouragingly. “I mean, the bed thing was bigger progress, but this is also progress.”

You push through the turnstile with a bit of difficulty, hopping on your good leg as you pull the walker over the divider using your free hand with an embarrassing clatter. “Sorry,” you wince, feeling your face heat up as you slide down the railing. “I’m still getting used to—”

“Holy—are you alright?” The distress is apparent in the youngest’s voice as he sees you for the first time in a month. “You look like you—”

“I’m aware,” you cut him off dryly, holding a paper bag as you stumble over to the couch. “Whatever you’re about to say, I’m aware.” You put it down in Donnie’s lap. “Here.”

He blinks, picking it up as you regain your bearings. “What is it?”

“Not poison or snakes. Open it.”

“Yo,” Mikey interrupts, pointing at your banged-up leg, “can I draw on your white thing?”

It takes you a second to figure out what he is referring to. “Oh, you mean—yeah.” You lean your head back against the back of the couch. “Just know that I’ll take white-out to anything that could get me kicked out of school.”

“Deal!” He runs off to your room as his brother pulls the bag open, pulling the pastry from its confinement.

“What is it,” he repeats, icing already on his fingers.

“Cupcake.”

He fingers the wrapper, his brick stare seeming almost to dissect it. “What is it for?”

“Besides being messy?” You smile gently as you watch him try to figure it out, feeling your heart swell. “It’s food.”

“How much of it is edible?”

“Everything except the paper bit.”

He peels the liner back. “And how do you eat it, exactly?”

You lean forward on your arms. “The goal is to eat the frosting and the cake part at the same time, so however you accomplish that.”

He smiles sheepishly, eyes softening as he looks back at you. “Is it possible to eat it without the frosting getting on your face?”

“Not that I’m aware of.”

He tentatively holds eye contact with you as he takes a bite, unsurprisingly getting icing sticking to the space around his upper lip. You wait tentatively as he licks the excess off, blinking in delighted surprise. “What’s in this, exactly?”

You feel yourself beam at his tone. “It’s nothing too special,” you shrug nonchalantly, bubbling with excitement. “It’s a personal favorite; red velvet with cream cheese frosting.”

He takes another bite. “Do you have more? Follow-up question,” you note his speech quickening, “can you make more?”

“Totally,” you nod in agreement. “I wanted to make you something as thanks for—”

“Back!”

Donnie shoves the rest of it in his mouth as soon as you two hear him.

“Sorry for the wait; I couldn’t find my stuff.” He plops down with a cardboard box filled with various discarded art supplies. “I’d use spray paint, but he—” he nods to his brother, currently trying to choke the rest of the cupcake down—“said I’m not allowed because of fumes or somethin’, so.”

“Fair.” You allow him to drape your calf over his legs, digging into the cardboard box he was carrying and pulling out a pencil. “Got any plans?”

“You’ll see,” he grins, starting to sketch shapes out.

The taller of the two wipes the excess frosting off his fingers. “Oh,” he snaps his fingers, “when you two are done with that, Y/N, I still gotta do that physical.”

“Physical?”

He clears his throat in preparation for a very redundant explanation. “A physical,” he explains calmly to his over-excited brother, “as in a physical examination, not whatever you’re thinking of.”

He blinks. “Like a doctor’s visit?”

“Donnie was asking about my recovery time,” you add helpfully. “Apparently, it’s weirdly long, but I don’t have any weird medical problems, so he wanted to see what the deal was.”

“That, and your comment about how ‘insanely high’ we jump, apparently.”

“Do not air quote that!” You lean your head back to look at him, hair falling onto his lap. “Not when you guys put high jumping to shame.”

He adamantly avoids eye contact, face warming. “It’s not that high,” he mumbles. “Especially if we’re bringing a sport like high jumping into this.”

“I respectfully disagree.” You lay your head down properly, looking up at him from his thighs. “Considering your falling form, it is a miracle you still have working hips.”

“What’s wrong with my form?”

“It doesn’t include a parachute.”

“Okay,” Mikey interjects, “it may not last unless you cover it with something. Just, FYI.”

You lean your head up to look at him. “Noted,” you nod. “I’ll pick up varnish or something on my way home.”

He nods. “Oh,” he asks innocently, “mind turning over? I have to get the other side and I don’t want to hurt you.”

For some inexplicable reason, the boy you are currently laying on looks as though someone has put a gun to his head.

You do as asked with a bit of difficulty, bringing your knee closer to your chest as it is now closest to the back of the couch. “Like that?”

“Perfect. Thanks.”

You look up at Donnie. “Let me know if you need me to move,” you smile. “If your thighs go numb or anything.”

His voice is oddly tight. “You’re good.”

Your eyebrows furrow. “Sure? You sound very uncomfortable.”

“Never better.”

“He’s alright,” Mikey reassures you, shooting a thumbs up at his brother behind your back.

“...Alright.” Your eyes focus absentmindedly on what you thought was a couch cushion; upon further inspection, it appears to be a repurposed training mat. You bring the arm not currently pinned to your side under your head, humming an earworm softly.

The boy currently under you is silently panicking as your fingers squeeze gently around his knee, making a conscious effort to stare at the television and only at the television with his hands hovering awkwardly over you. Surprisingly enough, out of the corner of his eye, he does not catch his younger brother trying to stare at you weirdly, sincerely focused on drawing.

You feel him, eventually, resting his hands down, one resting in between your shoulder blades, the other in your hair, twisting a lock of it around his fingers gently. “Still alright,” you ask.

His voice is almost airy, now. “Mhm.”

‘This is nice.’ You trace little designs into the mat as your mind begins to wander, the boys starting to talk about something you struggle to pay attention to. This is not the closest you have been to him physically, but it is nice not to be crying this time around. "Domestic, almost, even if he doesn't think so.’

‘I should learn how to braid.’ Braiding is not something he has necessarily needed to know how to do in the past, but as he wraps the fibers around themselves, curious about the texture, he wishes that he knew; using your hair as a material of sorts would certainly be interesting, and he knows he has the dexterity for it. Admittedly, the conversation is less of a conversation and more of a speech on his brother’s part, but he tries to pay attention.

“So,” Mikey continues, digging into the box and pulling out a pencil sharpener, “he’s watching this guy all stealth-like, right? The guy’s out here, giving out his plans like they’re candy or whatever, and he’s just kinda recording it on one of those little tape recorders you used for that one thing a couple weeks ago-- you know the ones, and-- you don’t mind spoilers-- long story short, the guy gets caught, and when the crew got there, he was totally messed up.”

“Sounds like Batman,” you mumble sleepily-- ‘He really is warm.’

“Huh?”

“Your story.” You hoist yourself up, looking over your shoulder back at him. “Sounds like this Batman cartoon.”

“Batman?”

“Universe…” you stifle a yawn. “My universe has this thing called Batman, and there's a crossover thing in a different iteration of this universe. I guess you wouldn’t know about that, would you?”

“Different iteration?” Donatello looks down at your head in his lap, desperately in need of a cold shower.

You feel Michelangelo bend your leg forward. You nod in confirmation, trying to will yourself awake. “Didn’t I… did I?” You lay your head back down properly. “You guys are, like… mega-famous down-- back-- there.”

“I’m not sure if you did.”

“Well,” you giggle sleepily, “you are.” You try to count on your fingers. “You’ve got the original comic, the old cartoon, the two-thousand three animated show, the CGI movie, this one, the two live-action movies, the twenty-eighteen animated one-- gorgeous animation by the by that I have to show you later, Mikey-- that crossover movie with Batman, the live-action show, the other, older live-action movie, the IDW comic series, that weird one with the hats-- there’s a ton.”

“Dude, that is sick!” The resident artist grins. “I bet they were awesome.”

You consider telling him about the IDW comic. You quickly decide against it.

“How long have we-- as a property-- existed, exactly?”

“I dunno.” You shrug. “The first animated show was the eighties, I think.”

“...huh.”

You notice him fiddling with your hair, finally. You don’t mind.

“It’s been too long.”

You freeze, suddenly very awake and painfully aware of your current position.

One of the few good things about having your own apartment: you seem to have forgotten the fear of being walked in on.

“Please, relax.” You hear his smile. It does not help matters. “Don’t let me interrupt.”

The other two, astonishingly, do not seem nearly as anxious as you are.

You look up at him from your spot on his son’s lap. “You look as healthy as ever.” ‘I miss my grandpa. Is Grandma okay?’ You were unable to find your relatives on your father’s side through social media-- they could be dead for all you know.

“No thanks to my diet,” he chuckles. Yoshi walks out of your field of view. “Don’t mind me; how long have they been in the dojo?”

“Half an hour?” You hear the jostling of the box and the snap of an uncapped pen.

You hear him sigh. “Let’s just hope nobody’s died,” he mutters, walking into the dojo.

The three of you strain your ears to-- unsuccessfully-- hear what is going on. The door snaps open as the two brothers leave together in heated silence.

Mikey shakes what you can now identify as a paint pen. “Who won?”

“Nobody.” Leo’s voice, snippy. “Is she out?”

“She is not.” You turn your arm awkwardly to wave back at him.

“Then,” he shrugs, “nice to see you.”

“Likewise.”

“So,” Raph interjects, apparently very interested in the current situation, “can someone please explain what, exactly, is going on here?”

“I’m painting her white thing.”

“Of course. Donnie?”

The mortification would be apparent if you were looking at him.

“Nothin? Okay then.” You shut your eyes as he sits down on the other side of you. “You look terrible. Nice scar.”

“I am too close to very sensitive areas for you to give me a hard time, Raphael,” you warn.

“Whatever.”

“I’m heading out.” Leo nonchalantly bounds the steps, hopping over a divider.

“Tell her I say hi,” you call back. “Remember, consent is key, yellow roses lead to friendzoning, and to always use a condom.”

“... No comment.” He runs off.

“I have so many questions.”

“Ask me later.”

It takes him about twenty more minutes to finish covering the entirety of your cast in brightly colored characters and objects; if you have to describe it, you will say that the style is contemporary pop illustration with composition reminiscent of the renaissance period if the single art class you have taken is serving you right.

“This,” you smile, a little misty-eyed for some reason, “is absolutely gorgeous. Thanks, Mikey.”

He beams. “You’re totally welcome! If you ever get more white things, I’ll draw on those too, if you want.”

“Dude, for sure.” You nod in agreement, looking back at Donnie. “Isn’t it cool?”

Donatello has been quietly jabbed at for the past twenty minutes and is mostly desensitized to the quality of his brother’s art; frankly, it is not his area, and he cannot judge it one way or the other. Despite this, he gives his brother a thumbs up. “Very.”

“Don’t stroke his ego so much,” teases their older brother. “Donnie’ll get jealous.”

“Hate to steal her from you all,” he interrupts, “but I still have a physical to do, so if you would be so kind as to shut up, that would be great.”

‘Green with envy. Is that racist? No clue. Pretty colors.’ Donnie is talking to you. “Huh?”

“I asked if you were still on board.”

You nod. “Mind grabbing my walker?”

He shoots his snickering brother a glare. “Want me to just carry you to the lab?”

Panic. Immediate panic. “You sure you can carry me?”

He shrugs, smiling. “It’s only a few feet. Besides,” he points out, “aren’t you the one always going on about how strong we are by normal standards?”

You do not have a rational way to explain why the idea of being off of solid ground, held up by someone who can potentially drop you, is distressing. You also do not want to insult him in any shape, way, or form. “Promise you won’t drop me?” Your stomach turns.

“Swear it.”

“Can I paint your walker while you guys are doing that?”

“Of all the things you could've chosen--”

“Lay off.” He offers his arms. “You can trust me, I promise.”

You pause. The statement is entirely true, but your gut is screaming at you not to do that. The same gut told you that slamming your body into the person driving the car you were tied up in was a good idea.

You latch your arms around his neck, burying your eyes in the crook of his neck as to not see when and in what direction he is moving you. “Please,” you mumble, trying not to blatantly beg, “do not drop me.”

He does not exactly understand why you are clinging to him so tightly, but he is hardly one to complain. He slides an arm under your knees, picking you up.

Raphael is heckling you. You are more concerned with your body inaccurately telling you that you are going to die from this. Tears prick your eyes as you try to breathe.

He looks down at you, mind wandering as he walks away from his brothers. You look so sweet to him, shaking like a leaf in his arms. Cute. He had thought the same thing when you had started clinging to him during that movie forever ago, when you held his hand last night and pulled him back onto the bed with you. You are not normally openly vulnerable and, although he is hardly one to talk about vulnerability, it is always a sight to behold.

“Please don’t drop me.” He is not exactly sure if you are aware of your own, almost silent begging as you repeat the phrase over and over. ‘You trust me.’ His heart melts.

It takes no time to get you to his lab. He sets you down on a chair, but you do not seem to understand that as you still cling tightly to his neck.

He chuckles nervously. “I need my body to perform the physical, Y/N.”

You were not aware he had put you down. Your eyes snap open as you let your shaking, iron grip relax. “Sorry,” you mumble, face going a gorgeous shade of pink.

“No prob.” ‘Prob?’ His face changes color to match yours.

“So.” He claps his hands together just a bit too hard, slamming the door closed when he hears his brothers’ snickering. “Let’s get started.”

--

You sit on your couch, applying another coat of varnish to your cast as you listen to a cooking show because something something exposure therapy. Also, listening to people scream at one another about food textures is soothing.

Your results were not surprising to you; by the standards of humans in this universe, you are a walking talking coma patient. It was a bit funny, watching him freak out about a blood pressure that you knew-- through the help of google-- was completely normal. You are fine for the most part, if he was using the tools given correctly, and so, you are currently preoccupied with making sure the gorgeous painting on your fiberglass prison is going to stay gorgeous. The only thing he had insisted on, really, was that you not cook, after seeing your crudely applied bandages on your fingers.

You lean back into an actual couch, pulling out your phone and scrolling through pictures of gloves again. You are determined to find a good pair; the deep scars on your hands are not fading any time soon.

You can hear the window slide open. “If you’re planning on killing me--” you stop when you look up to see the look on Donnie’s face. “Something up?”

He says absolutely nothing, leaning his staff against the wall, closing the window in a daze and he stands next to the sofa. “Are you busy?”

“No.”

“Good.” His eyes glance at the space next to you. “Can I stay here for a bit?”

“As long as you like.”

He lays his head on your lap as he sits down, staring blankly at the television screen. He immediately understands why you like this-- your thighs are incredibly soft.

You immediately understand why he was awkward. You have no idea where to put your hands, but you eventually settle on his head as you turn the volume down. “What’s up?”

He takes a deep breath, licking his teeth as he sighs. “I,” he explains, “just realized what my reality is right now and I-- okay, I know this sounds stupid--”

“Not at all.”

“It does,” he insists. “I know it sounds stupid because I realized it did when I was working it out, but I just-- hear me out, okay?” His voice oozes exhaustion.

“I’m hearing you.” You listen to him, laying your phone face down on the coffee table. “Hit me.”

He takes another breath. “I just fought a giant… thing.” He rolls over, looking up at you. “Mikey called it Jacob or something, and it was about twenty feet tall and it looked like something out of a monster movie and it destroyed us in a fight.” You hear his voice rising, and you just nod along, letting him talk. “It wiped the floor with us. And the only reason it existed was that Leo, apparently, got a girlfriend named Karai-- you know her?”

“Hot alt chick with the wicked eyeshadow and eyeliner that could kill?” You nod. “Yeah, I’m familiar.”

“Her-- wait, should I…?” He trails off, shakes his head. “Another time.” He covers the side of his face with his hand, gesturing animatedly with his other. “Anyways, apparently he met this girl because she wanted to do a heist with him-- this girl, working for the Foot, of all people-- sixteen or whatever-- she goes and just touches a button to mix the DNAs of all the creatures an alien race could find on Earth, and then bails.” He realizes he is shouting, lowers his voice. “The alien creatures, in case you forgot, that look like brains and waddle around on tentacles which, by the way, makes no evolutionary sense whatsoever, decided to create a button that mixes the entirety of their samples of DNA together in a smorgasbord of wrong, okay?”

“Uhuh.” You nod along. You know what he means, even if the word he used was technically not correct.

“This thing,” he continues, officially ranting, “destroyed a building! It set the whole thing on fire, which was probably only Kraang, but also maybe had normal people in it, which is concerning.” He rubs his eyes aggressively. “So, to recap, an alienish creature named Jason or whatever got created by Leo’s crush and destroyed a building and that was just what happened today!” He raises his hands in the air, almost accidentally hitting you in the face. “I didn’t bat an eye at this!”

“Man, I feel you.”

“And I understand,” he continues, “the irony of telling you this, considering I am a giant, talking turtle created by the very same mutagen that created Justin or whatever its stupid name was, was taught ninjutsu by my ninja master father who is also a rat, and that you have already previously died--”

“All very bizarre things,” you agree.

“-- but this is just…” he sighs. “My life is getting so… weird? It was already weird, I know, but more so than I thought it reasonably should be.”

You wipe a bit of oil you notice on his cheek off with your thumb. “This world is a weird one,” you admit.

His voice is lower now as he follows your hand with his eyes. “I…” He takes breath. “I just wish we were more normal, you know? That our lives were more normal, that our existences made more sense, you know?”

You cup his face in your hand gently, remembering how your mother used to do the same for you. “I do.”

You feel him leaning into your touch. “I wish,” he mumbles, almost to himself, “that I was a normal, human teenager who went to school and didn’t know how to use a bo staff and had three, normal brothers who could try to get girlfriends without worrying about whether or not they wanted to kill them.”

You sigh, running your thumbs along the edge of his eye socket, feeling the soft skin shift under you. “You’re very well adjusted for a teenager trained in the art of assassination,” you joke softly.

He chuckles dryly, closing his eyes. “My mother is an empty canister in a locked cabinet in the kitchen.” He exhales slowly. “My stepmom was murdered by a man now actively trying to murder me and my entire family because of a decades long feud. Well adjusted is probably the highest compliment you could give me.”

“I’ve given you higher.”

“I’m being serious.”

“So am I.” You glance up at the television screen, then back at him. “You’re holding up better than I am, and you’ve been fearing for your life since you were real little.”

“Apples and oranges.” He rests his hand on yours.

“Look,” you shrug, “the way I see it, life is a series of events that all string together to the present.”

“Butterfly effect.”

“Exactly.” You smile down at him. “And if things didn’t happen exactly as they did, we never would’ve met, the world would be totally screwed, and we would be missing out on one of the greatest minds on the planet.”

He looks to see if you are being serious.

You are.

“You also wouldn’t have a broken leg and messed up hands,” he points out ruefully.

“Meeting you was worth it.”

He reaches up, running his fingers along the scar on your face. “I disagree.”

“It’s my body, and my physical detriment. It doesn’t matter if you’re stupid enough to think it wasn’t worth it.”

You feel his body relax

You two shut up for a bit, watching the show absentmindedly.

After a while, he pipes up. “It’s alright if you say no,” he starts tentatively, “but is it alright if I stay here again tonight?”

“Will your brothers mind?”

“They don’t care so long as I’m home before sunrise,” he shrugs. “I just like it here. Smells better.”

You smile brightly. “Sure,” you agree easily. “I sleep better with you here, anyways; I don’t worry about people sneaking in through the window.” You check the varnish. “I just have to wait for this to dry the rest of the way, first. You’re free to go to bed without me, though.”

In all honesty, you’re just happy not to be alone.

He nods, standing up and drawing the curtains. He sits down on the bed, untying the mask behind his head. ‘I could get used to this.’ He smiles slightly, slipping a hand into his utility belt and texting his brothers where he was to avoid his brother’s scolding in the morning. He slips that off too, dropping both onto the side of the bed and starting on the wraps on his feet and hands; he had learned his lesson when he had gotten up morning before, having gotten a few hours sleep at home, to large, noticeable indentations in his flesh where the foreign objects had been.

You glance over. “Do those go in the wash?”

He looks back. “Not usually, no.”

“Do you want me to wash them?”

‘You are too considerate.’ He shakes his head. “It’s alright.”

You shrug, putting your hands up. “Suit yourself.” You cross your hands across your stomach, staring absentmindedly back at the screen. “You can use the shower in the morning, but please do not use all of the hot water. Fridge is open if you need breakfast.”

“Nah,” he sighs, slipping the clothes into his utility belt. “I’ll eat at home.”

You nod in acknowledgement.

It occurs to him as he sets his knee and elbow pads with the rest of his things that, technically, he is stripping in front of you, and you are not batting an eye. As soon as that clocks, it also dawns on him that you are showing the most skin he has ever seen-- an A-shirt and gym shorts-- which had not even registered until he was laying in your bed. You are relaxed and in your warm apartment, watching a television program with him in your bed. You are awake and absolutely gorgeous and you feel safer with him of all people.

His heart swells as he slides under the blankets, the sound of the television white noise at this point.

You glance back at him, the phrase “Snug as a bug in a rug," coming to mind as you look over at him, struggling to keep his eyes open. “You gonna fall asleep?”

His face warms. He nods. "It's been a really long day," he admits.

“Then goodnight,” you smile. “Sweet dreams.”

He smiles sleepily. “Goodnight, Y/N,” he shuts his eyes.

You swallow.

You forgot how much you missed this.

Table of Contents

Chapter 10

Chapter 12

#tmnt donnie #donnie x reader #2012 donnie #donnie #donatello x reader #tmnt donatello #donatello #tmnt #tmnt fanfiction #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 2k12 #teenage #teenage mutant ninja turtles 2012 #teenage mutant ninja turtles #hamato clan #donatello hamato #y/n #self insert #self insert fanfiction #tmnt x reader #reader insert

[inventors-fair]

Herald Commentary

I’m happy with the wide range of cards that people jumped into for this contest! There was a wide range, but a lot of modern ideas. I think because of Magic’s contemporary focus on legendary creatures, many people sought ideas that came from more recent sets. Looking at the entries, what do you think?

Let’s get to commentary!

@ace-hobo​ — Caller of Devastation

That’s a pretty cool name, and it’s an interesting flavor that you’re going for. I would have rather seen a card that focused on a singular card and follower, one that fits an isolated flavor. For the sake of this contest, it makes sense that you would name the cards. I could see this printed in a regular set as a card that tutored for a God creature card or something.

@aethernalstars​ — Caller of the Harvest

Alright, it took me a second to understand this card. I don’t think that almost-irremovable devotion is a pain in extended formats, but in a vacuum it’s a pain in the butt, and I’m not a huge fan. Still, a cool idea for mechanical execution. Still trying to figure out how a plant becomes a cleric. Additionally, those symbols: it should be “GW, T:” with the comma and space.

@cas-420 — Crackling Boltkin

Now this is fun. Honestly, I would have liked this card better as either a graveyard summon or a library summon, not both. I’m really proud of you for the wording on this, though. It’s a complex idea that you pulled off well. The double triggers plus the double search makes this card feel like it’s trying to do a little too much, but I like the name and I like the concept. It feels like a contemporary elemental.

@dabudder​ — Gerrard, Legacy Protector

It’s interesting to see white using the graveyard as a “keep this secret safe” kind of thing. I think. Man, that ability though... I can imagine this being pretty crazy broken in some capacity. Stacking a bunch of different legendary artifacts and big bombs or something... I don’t know, this card feels powerful and worrying but it probably isn’t broken. Small note: The card is just “Weatherlight” lol

@dimestoretajic​ — Yar-Kul, the Maggot

I actually remember reading about Yargle way back in the Dominaria days. Man, wish I could have afforded more Magic back then... Anyway. I personally find the “card within a card” concept pretty fun. There’s nothing really objectively wrong with this card. If I had to find a criticism, it feels minorly clunky that one legend is a search while one is just a sacrifice. Comparing that to that Reef Worm thing from the Commander set, it’s just a little iffy. But it fulfills the contest and I like it.

@ezurad​ — Mad Cultist

Looks like you forgot to change the name in that activated ability there? Always always proofread. Conceptually, I think I like this card. For a common, I would have added reminder text to the Madness instead of adding flavor text, as cool as the flavor is. Interesting take on an “any number of X” ability. This card also needs a shuffle clause after the search, FYI. Not a bad entry!

@fractured-infinity​ — Hunter’s Prey

I don’t know enough about the Ikoria storyline, and that’s on me. Regardless, I get it, and it’s a fine enough tutor even if it is pretty easy to abuse. It’s a unique take on the tutor, and it’s a cool flavor to set out prey to summon your Snapdax. Two wording criticisms: One, the name doesn’t need to be in quotes; and Two, the shuffle clause can be added to the previous sentence e.g. “When ~ dies, its owner may search their library for a card named Snapdax, Apex of the Hunt, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle their library.” Minor things, no biggie.

Genex-P — Herald of the Night

We’re going WAY back. I had to search this card because I was actually totally unfamiliar by name alone. I really like that! And holy crap, I didn’t know that Nightstalker was a real creature type. I do wish that the tokens contributed to the search, though. It feels weird that the first ability still requires you to have a different Nightstalker to activate it. Still, neat idea, pretty fun, and a great old callback with modern updates. Amazing flavor text, too.

@gollumni​ — Incarnation of Aclazotz

And I’m also not super familiar with Ixalan story, either, but that doesn’t mean this card isn’t cool. It’s complex, and it’s a little confusing to take things and turn them about, but the card itself plays well. I would really have liked for that token to have indestructible, personally, but that would have been a little too powerful for five mana. Still, cool concept, and an interesting “land tutor” in black.

@greensunzenith​ — Meroe Revane

Flavorfully, I think this card is really cool, even if I’m not positive that it makes sense considering... Would Nissa’s mom be on Zendikar where all this takes place? IDK. Anyway, mechanically, the fact that you have to have to have both the cards to do anything is a big ask. Nissa Revane, the card, was pretty egregious for asking to have that card itself. But yeah, I’m not the biggest fan of this card’s mechanics. Still a fun card conceptually.

@gus-goose — Herald of the Hunt

Another Snapdax stan? Did Snapdax become the ultimate Ikoria stan when I wasn’t looking? Anyway. I think that the combination of cards is a flavorful way to express devotion to Snapdax and I like how you included the mutate clause. I’m not a fan of how the ability works mechanically. Building around this card is pretty moot, because the setup feel like too much when you could just get Snapdax itself. Were there enough of those in Ikoria? There were a lot of creatures there... I don’t know, this card just feels like too much work.

@haru-n-harkel​ — Moonrise Dragster

I like the concept of searching for a flavorful aura like Caught in the Brights. It’s a fun and interesting way of tutoring for control cards. There’s a lot about this card that I’m not sure I understand. Why such a high crew cost? The mana cost to P/T ratio feels all out of whack. I’m also not sure why there’s the “doesn’t untap” clause. Is it flavorful? Is it a mechanical addition? I just don’t “get” a lot of this card’s decisions. Power-level wise, getting the aura from your graveyard is too much. It’s not a weak enchantment. 

@i-am-the-one-who-wololoes​ — Devotee’s Squire

It’s a cute idea, I think. A little bit underwhelming to search for a card to search for a card. I’m not sure why this card mechanically exists. Flavorfully, this also takes place on Theros, Greek mythology, which as far as I know doesn’t have knights or squires.

@ignorantturtlegaming​ — Whirling Waves

This card is...powerful. I think the first ability is crazy, but fine. Second ability is insanely overpowered in limited. Third ability is holy cow powerful, assuming you mean “X on each” and not “X distributed.” Conceptually, I like this card a lot and I think that it’s a cool summon. In practical terms, the power level needs significant tweaking.

@karkatvantasticvantas​ — The Second Scourge

Interesting! “Tapped and crewing” is a fantastic little tweak with a flavorful idea behind it that I fully support. Seven mana for that cost, though, is... It feels like a little much, but it probably isn’t? I would have made this card colorless, honestly. I don’t think the Grixis colors are really useful here. “Menace” should be lowercase. This is a unique card, and I think I like it. Probably should be a rare.

@koth-of-the-hammerpants — Krajling Incubator

“Egg Ooze.” Love it. Great flavor text and a pretty fun card that’s very Simic. Two small notes: “Remove” should be capitalized, and the card needs a shuffle clause. Aside from that, I think that this card is a pretty fun uncommon. I wish there was a way that it could put counters on creatures.

@misterstingyjack​ — End Times Proselytizer

Thirteen colorless nonland permanents is a LOT. Even if you get something crazy off that first trigger, getting up there is a lot. Thirteen creatures would be enough, honestly. If you would have an easier time casting Emrakul by herself than using this card, then things might be a little too crazy. Also, why doesn’t the first ability just say “for each non-Eldrazi creature that died this turn”? I think this is a cool card, but it’s just not as good as the creature you’re searching for. I do love how you cast it from outside the game.

@ozthearistocrat​ — Oketra’s Blade

It’s a concept that I appreciate for sure. Getting a creature at different points in the story feels like a Time Spiral-esque idea. Honestly, though, I’m not a fan of the mechanics here. There are two different sets for a reason, and the spirit of the contest is a little different than that. Still, not a bad idea. FYI, I would really look into getting your MSE set up with fonts, because this card is REALLY hard to read.

@real-aspen-hours​ — Oracle of Oracle of Mul Daya

10/10. In all seriousness, keep this in a file for something that can let you play land and Shaman cards from the top of your library or something. Not a bad concept. I am laughing at the name, though.

@reaperfromtheabyss​ — Terrible Flamespeaker

Once more, the name of the card doesn’t need to be in quotes. As for the card’s mechanics, this one is interesting. I like how it encourages mono-red shenanigans. It’s a powerful on-curve card by itself which is pretty cool. I like how it tells the story of a world more than it does of a legendary creature, even if it is a rare searching for a rare, which feels... IDK, a little off with the nature of this contest. There’s nothing objectively wrong with this card besides the quotes, though, so call it a success.

@shakeszx — Beast Blessed Sword

Was there something about the Eldraine story that I missed? When was there a sword involved? Why isn’t there a hyphen to make it “Beast-Blessed” - unless it’s a different meaning? I’m a little confused. Regardless, the card itself I like. It’s recursion for Kenrith, which is a pain in the ass, but it’s a fun card regardless, I think. Having played against Kenrith, I’m not the biggest fan, but I know he’s fun to play, so I can’t complain.

@shandylamb​ — Scrap // Salvage

Okay. Straight-up, this card is doing too much. If this was on an actual Aftermath card, it would be packed to the gills and be practically unreadable. Scrap is probably the best side, even though it should say “put it onto the battlefield” and just “sacrifice an artifact” since you can only sacrifice permanents you control anyway. Salvage is just... I don’t know, I don’t get it. It requires both a legendary permanent and a target for it, and it doesn’t feel like a legendary event. The thing about “legendary” instants and sorceries was that they had a creature or planeswalker attached to them that made them feel epic. This card just doesn’t have that. I feel like you put too many ideas into too small a space.

@sigiledpaladin​ — Alarm of the Tenth

Why does this card search your graveyard too? That’s one hair in an otherwise fine cupcake of a card. It’s just a bit of a shame that it doesn’t “do” anything when it first comes out. Also, the second sentence should be “This ability costs (4) less to activate if [etc].” It’s a fine tutor, just a little underwhelming.

@snugz​ — Sliver Hivecaller

Would you believe that I actually love this card? Would you also believe that, in my opinion, this card would have been a winner......... if it wasn’t a Sliver? With the exception of the old legendary Slivers, all Slivers should inform other Slivers. And, well, this card doesn’t feel like a sliver. I love it, I really do. But it’s just not Sliver-y. I know that’s useless and boring commentary, but man, trust me, this card is great. Just make it, like, a Human Shaman or something? Ooh, or a mutant.

@starch255​ — Oracle of Ancestry

This card would break eternal formats. Tutoring for Ancestral Recall and Brainstorm is... Wow. I don’t know, I might just be paranoid, but “tutor for some of the most powerful draw and thinning in Magic’s history” is something to be paranoid about, right? I’m not going crazy? Considering the wide range of formats and places that these cards come from, it’s not out of the question to assume that that was the intention of the card. Not sure how I feel about that.

@yesimnotrealanymore — Rise of Emrakul

The good: It’s certainly flavorful. The criticism:

3BBBB is way too costly, and color-heavy.

You don’t necessarily need “a” in that first ability. Just “Create Cryptolith”

Second ability should be two sentences. “Its,” not “it’s”

“Destroy up to four target creatures. For each creature destroyed this way, its controller creates a colorless 3/2 Eldrazi creature token.”

The Roman numeral for four is “IV.”

In order for that last ability to work, Emrakul would need three time counters on it and then gain vanishing. Additionally, we need to suspend our disbelief that both sagas and vanishing exist in the same set as Eldritch Moon.

~

Thank you all for your entries! A new legendary contest starts tomorrow.

#mtg #magic the gathering #custom magic card #contest #entries #commentary #herald contest #inventor's fair

[ruby-red-inky-blue]

1 and 15!

Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

Well. Let’s be real, there would be little to no action, and if there was any actual plot happening it would probably be heavy on dialogue. It’d either be a quiet moment within an (unduly complicated) plot, or the plot would move at a glacial pace so I can revel in my special brand of quiet soft melancholy for entire chapters *lol* But at the same time, while it’s probably not what people remember me for, I always feel much more comfortable writing one-shots, because they can’t spiral out of control as much as my multi-chapters have. It’d probably a either a modern setting or a 20th century setting, with no magic/Force/sci-fi shenanigans at work probably, that just doesn’t come easy to me. It would 1000% be third-person, tense is a complete coin toss. It would be quietly shippy, but it would probably also feature a close platonic relationship (Jyn and Bodhi is, like, my safe space, whereas Cassian and Kay is where I draw most of the [rare] humour from). it would likely be inspired by a quote, or a line in a song. I still have not struggled free from the songfic. At all.

If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

See, this is kinda difficult, because I feel like there are three likely contestants:

“Sad and Lovely With Bright Things In It”, a Modern-ish ASoIaF AU that turned out really really atmospheric and kind of dream-like and that would actually make a decent-ish Oscar-bait political thriller/drama thing. It’s centred around a prime minister election and it is referencing The Great Gatsby so hard it’s almost plagiarism, and some white big name director would probably eat that right up. You could turn this into a hyper-stylised, polished, gorgeous movie that would be pretty paint-by numbers but could be very dark and cynical and cool. This one has the most realistic shot, I guess.

“The World Through a Scope”, mostly because the whole narrative feel of it is vaguely cinematic to me, and it has this big sprawling plot and a ton of flashbacks and some location scout could work their magic and turn this into a series of *gorgeous* setpieces. Like, you have all those scenes in the past set in Mexico City and in Juarez and in London and if you want even in like MIddle Eastern marketplaces and deserts and so on, and contrasted with that the main plot in some big US city (I never specified which one but in my mind it’s halfway between Chicago and New York? ish? So yeah, ALL the beautiful establishing shots. Thing is, it’d be this weird thing where it would be a super sad and quiet love story for two thirds, like with the mood of something like Moonlight crossed with the vibes of Before Sunrise, and then it would suddenly and very weirdly transition to a very weak episode of Narcos. Not sure if I could sell that to an executive tbh.

“Spiel ohne Grenzen” would upon reflection be my personal choice? Like, at least I *hope* the plot is going to be a lot more straightforward than TWTaS, and it could look super cool, late 80′s GDR would be difficult to make look super vibrant but hey, it’d be a challenge for someone! Plus the Elbe bridges at night are a really cool spy movie set-up in any case, you get like Stasi interrogation rooms and hikes through the Saxon Switzerland and so on.... I’m a sucker for history movies AND there is a scandalous lack of movies about that time. Plus towards the end there would be a bunch of really, really cool scenes (that would look INSANELY GOOD on screen fyi): the big peaceful protests in Leipzig, thousands of people carrying big signs through the streets on autumn nights, chanting and singing, carrying candles!! The “battle” between the police forces and the military and the protesters in and around the Dresden main station at night, cars on fire and water cannons all reflecting on riot shields and broken glass, it’d be terrifying but beautiful - not to mention the night of 11/09/89 in Berlin. It would be SO. Cool. And I demand movies about that time and that topic so, I kinda want that one, but it would probably be unreasonably expensive to make because you would have to use a *lot* of either CGI or creative location scouting to make Dresden look like 31 years ago, and there would probably not be a huge market for a movie like that. But hey, if I would get to just point at one - I think it’d be this one. (But you would have to cast people other than Diego and Felicity in the main roles, because they would be too old at this point. And also I would on the one hand want the Germans to be played by actual Germans but also nobody in Germany would pay for that movie to be made *lol*)

Fic writer asks!

#ask meme responses #moonprincess92nz #thank you dear! #also can you tell i regularly watch a podcast that essentially plays fantasy football but for the film industry

[nastyaphrodite]

Mother Tongue - Demetria Martinez

fyi one of the most poetically written books I’ve ever read, quotes are too good to lose to time.

(will be tagged personal, but this is not personal ...)

pg. 4: and I was one of those women whose fate is to take war out of a man, or at least imagine she is doing so.

pg. 5: before his arrival the chaos of my life had no axis about which to spin, a center far from God that I asked for forgiveness in advance.

pg. 12: Everything else is remembering. Or dismembering. To create a man out of blanks that can never wound me.

pg. 15: From day one I looked for ways to graft a piece of myself onto him, to become indispensable. My gestures were perfectly timed, touching his hand, twisting my hair, excusing myself to touch up my lipstick---ordinary actions that would reverse the tides of my life as in the theories of physicists who say the dance of a butterfly can cause volcanoes to erupt.

pg 16: Love at first sight, this how I explained the urgency that would later shed its skin and reveal pure desperation. Some women fall in love in advance of knowing a man because it is much easier to love a mystery. And I needed a mystery---someone outside of ordinary time would could rescue me from an ordinary life, from my name ... a blessing that had become a curse. At age nineteen, I was looking for a man to tear apart the dry rind of that name so I could see what fruit fermented inside.

pg. 19: Yes, from the very beginning I wanted him. In that time of my life, men were mirrors that allowed me to see myself at different angles. Outside this function, they did not exist. It was a supreme selfishness, the kind that feeds on men’s attentions, a void flourishing in a void. **** In the end, I had no choice but to love him. Desire was not good enough. Love would ripen in the light of time we spent together, like an arranged marriage. Except that I was doing the arranging. And calling it fate.

pg. 20: I swear to God the moment I laid eyes on him I knew he was The One. And it can’t be a coincidence—that he arrived on the scene just as I was asking the universe whether or not there was more to life than just holding down boring jobs. I’d been so depressed. Now everything has changed. Still, I know I should slow these feelings down. Or else I’ll want to act on them—which always ruins everything. I’ve got to remember I can’t “make” anything happen beyond doing the footwork for some greater purpose that may be trying to manifest here. Maybe I’m supposed to just be his friend.

pg. 22: It’s like I’m going for longer and longer periods of time forgetting I’m depressed. Which maybe is a definition of happiness.

pg. 23: Peace. Joy. Openness to the future. How else can I describe what I’m feeling except for the big “L” word, which I don’t dare say out loud. Because it’s like yelling fire in a theater. Men flee and my girlfriends say to me, you fool.

pg. 26: Very often, when I try to remember those days, everything comes to mind except for memories of myself: what I looked like or said or felt. This is where it gets painful. You see, memory does not always serve me. It seeks images and feelings to hook on to, but at times encounters only voids. The facts are easy enough to recite. *** I fled the world, went inside, ceased to feel. You could say I fell asleep. There was no mystery to it. Quite simply, it was easier to sleep and pretend to be awake than to stay awake and pretend to be strong. *** They had words for women like me. Insane fell out of favor as did nervous breakdown. Clinically depressed was, I believe, in vogue. But ask any woman who has had times in her life when she was not all there. She will say she was asleep. And women who fall asleep and don’t know why lack a plot line; this is the secret source of their shame. So I concocted a plot of my own, orchestrating what I could until characters began to say and do things I had never imagined, me included. To prove the gods at least were interested in me, I courted disaster, set out to love a man I knew full well would go away. Falling in love was a way of pinching myself. It proved I was alive only on that thin line between drama and trauma. I handed my body over ... like a torch to help him out of his dark places. I felt no shame. I was utterly unoriginal. To love a man more than one’s self was a socially acceptable way for a woman to be insane.

pg. 32: It was like taking one last look around a hospital room where someone I loved had died. And I cried, I couldn’t stop, it was a surprise. I thought my arroyo of grief had long ago dried up, leaving only an imprint of the storm.

pg. 49: I was young, future tense came naturally to me: Iré, irás.… I will go, you will go. I have always lacked talent for living in the here and now, and back then I was easily transported into luminous, unobtainable futures.

pg. 55: Where others saw indigo, I saw blue; where others saw teal, I saw green. It’s the draining away of color that happens in a woman’s life when she can’t name her own reality. It is only now that I am able to go back and color in the pale places, creating a mural on the walls of the life I now inhabit.

pg. 59-60: The truth is, some of our tenderest moments are the ones I am least likely to remember. It has to do with what I said about sleep, how women like me sometimes flee, letting loving words or glances melt on the hot pavement of some nameless fear. So forgive me if I embellish; even a conjured memory is better than no memory at all if you would dare to give your life what the world did not, a myth, a plot. Besides, I never intended to reconstruct him from memory, just from love, which may be the only way anyone can ever hope to get at the whole truth.

pg. 61: I knew the name but not the man.

pg. 63-64: Now I have reason to improve my Spanish. I have a word and a way of life to conjugate: Quiero, quieres, quiere, queremos.… To want and to love, the same thing! God, make this thing last. Make it last. I sound crazed, I know, but with good reason. My period’s due any moment, and I have found true love. The kind that pulls all of life in one direction. It’s too much. Already, his presence in my life is helping me forget all the sadness (what was it about?) that pulled me down for so long before he came. *** The thought of being with him forever is intoxicating. But I’ve got to be careful. I’ve got to stay in the present. The minute I get hung up on the idea of forever, on what will happen tomorrow, I ruin everything.

pg. 65: But I don’t need sleep, I don’t need food, just you, I answered. I unpeeled myself from him, removed myself like a bandage. The cruelty of limits stung: the need for sleep, food, a paycheck however small. If an hour were a house one could move into for good, I would have built a wall around the 2 o’clock hour, a brick wall arrayed against the disfiguring fury of the future.

pg. 66: We opened each other up like sacred books, Spanish on one side, English on the other, truths simultaneously translated.

pg. 68-69: But I’m deceiving myself again. Lying. For a long time after (he) I continued to believe a man could touch my essence, make me whole. All that time I could have been writing, touching the fires of my being and returning to the world, purified and strong. *** You see, I was one of those women who is at her best when she wants something very badly. The mating dance, the yearning and flirting, surrenders and manipulations—I was good at that, so good at the pursuit that when I actually got what I wanted, terror appeared. Terror that wore the silly mask of disappointment.

pg. 73: The few friends I had during that spell of my life quit calling; the word must have gotten out that (I) was in love. They knew I wouldn’t come out of the house, the house I drew with crayons, a house of primary colors I called love. The first time I fell in love, friends tried to tell me it was not real. To prove them wrong, I drew a keyhole on the front door and invited them to look through to the other side. See for yourselves, I said.

pg. 76: It’s dangerous for a couple to promise to stay married until they die. It’s better to vow to stay together until the marriage dies—and to do everything in their power to keep it alive. If you don’t think of marriage as a plant, fragile and in need of attention, then you’re asking for major trouble.

pg. 77: That’s what I hate about love. Bit by bit you start to give things up. You become like a good parent. But I love him so it’s all worth it. I’ve never felt this way about anyone.

pg. 81-82: Unfortunately (or fortunately?), wounds will often start healing even if you don’t want them to, even if you would rather die quietly in the corner of a cell. The body’s will to live sometimes is greater than that of mind or spirit.

pg. 86: Do I just let things continue until they fall apart? The warmth of her flesh is all I have to make me forget. But alcohol does the same thing. Am I using her? Or is she using me each time she looks at me and loves what is not there?

pg. 87: No, I haven’t forgiven myself for being disappeared from myself any more than I have forgiven him.

pg. 88: He carved that question mark into my heart and kept watch over it until I could wake up and cry out.

pg. 89-90: Things began to happen. There were times he didn’t call, times he didn’t say I love you, nonevents that hurt in little ways, like paper cuts, but that added up. It could be these nonevents had happened all along, the normal ups and downs of relationships. But at a certain point, I began to perceive that he was pulling away from me and thinking about other things. And fear ate at my heart like battery acid. But it’s very likely that I only imagined him pulling away, imagined the whole thing. You see, the fear I am best at is always based upon a myth. *** ... assumption that to survive one sometimes must flee all that is loved. This is what terrified me. His body was branded with the equation, love equals flight.

pg. 94: You see, real love is quiet as snow, without chaos, hard to write about.

pg. 95: They were not like the white God I’d had to kill, that women like me must kill if we are to have any hope of ever finding God. Nothing replaced Him for a long time. But looking back now I can see that the growing chaos inside blazed away dead growth, clearing a space, however violently, for God to be reborn.

pg. 96-97: There were so many moments I would rather not talk about but in this dark night of remembering, they are blooming like night flowers. *** When he didn’t call, my world shriveled. Fetal position. Blistered finger pad. Or when he called and didn’t say, I love you, I shattered, then mistook a piece of me for the whole, a mistake that disfigures women’s lives time and again. But I lacked the nerve to tell him how I was feeling.

pg. 101: Now, as I write this, I can’t remember the real me. It’s terrifying, that you can love someone so much that you lose your own self in the uproar. I can’t remember the me who loves September, who loves to walk or read.

pg. 117: But every woman should have a special place inside where she can think, where no man is allowed, a place that will, you know, endure. Why do you think I took up letter writing? No man is worth falling apart over. Take it from me.

pg. 146: love could not be used like a cage to make a man stay. What if the universe now was telling me that it might take even greater love to let someone go? But I was not capable of detachment.

pg. 155: And as it is at times with bones, my heart needed to be broken and reset properly so it could carry me through life.

pg. 163: I’m tired, frightfully tired. Like snake venom, this story’s medicine had to be drawn from my own body. Maybe you won’t even read this, I don’t know. Long ago I began this tale for reasons I could not yet articulate, maybe for no reason at all. *** Promesas are as dangerous as skydiving, leaps into thin air. Nothing frightens me more than an answered prayer. And nothing taxes a body more than giving something back to God. This is why I am so tired, why I have spent this day crying in my room.

(4-2-19/4-2-19)

#personal #book #quote #mexican-american writer

[kieranjamesreviews-blog]

Red Dead Redemption 2 Review

FYI: I have played nearly 2 full days worth of the game, completed the mains story and 85% complete. I am not a professional review or writer, I am your average gamer, reviewing for the first time.

Red Dead Redemption 2 is Rockstars prequel to the their first highly successful game Red Dead Redemption. This game immerses you into the late 1890s of the wild wild west. However, it is not that wild anymore and people are moving past their more vicious ways and becoming more sophisticated and acceptable but, not for one group of people. The Dutch Van Der Linde gang, a bunch of misfits and outlaws still clinging to the oldways with Dutch their leader preaching and leading them. This game is an extremely enjoyable game, the best I have played in years with great, amazing story and fantastic mechanics that makes you feel like a cowboy. Red Dead Redemption 2 is a masterpiece of a game and in this review I will talk about it, trying to not spoil much as this game is an experience that I recommend you play on your own first.

Story (Plot) Spoiler free

First of I have to talk about the story as this is the main aspect that people are paying for and I have to say it didn't disappoint. The game has 109 missions, 6 chapters and 2 epilogues and with this tells an enjoyable story from the viewpoint of Arthur Morgan a high ranking member in the Dutch Van Der Linde gang, you are a yes man doing dirty work without questions, but that soon changes. You start the game in a bad way, fleeing the law (the Pinkertons) who want you to hang after a heist gone wrong in Blackwater. You and the gang have nothing and are trailing your way through the snowy mountains to find shelter and warmth. Thus starts the main plot of the game, you are all wanted men, who now have no money and need to get away fast, before the law catches up with you. This is really what you are doing for the main story missions, doing certain morally unacceptable activities to get money to “help the camp” so they can flee. However, in doing so you cause unwanted trouble, deaths and general ruckus. Which lead to members of the gang being killed and captured. Losing control of the situation Dutch (the leader of the gang) starts to become reckless and to be honest pretty insane, coming up with plans that will get them in an even worse state then they already are. Your character Arthur Morgan, realises that they don't belong in this world anymore and that Dutch, this once loved father figure is unravelling and that you need to help the remaining gang members to get out. Before Dutch gets everyone killed. This sums up the plot in a quick way, I don't really want to spoil anything to important as this game is an experience. Obviously there is more to it than what I have described.

Characters

Rockstar really had to work hard to create a character that would be loved as much as John Marston which if you didn't know is the protagonist in the first Red Dead Redemption title. The main character would have to live up to the huge shadow of the previous protagonist and oh boy did he. Arthur Morgan is your typical/ stereotypical western cowboy. He has a gruff voice which never got boring, had great jokes, one liners and can hold his own in a battle. But even better than that he develops as a character and person. This game takes him on a journey from a morally iffy yes man, to a man who sees his existence and the gangs existence as unwanted in this new age. A quote he says sums it up perfectly “we’re thieves in a world that don't want us no more” He knows he is a bad person, but decides to change later in the game the best he can and keep the people who deserve a better life safe to live a better life. He is in a constant battle with morality and is full of regret, but by the end of the game is more enlightened and sees the world a lot clearer.

During this game you meet a lot of other great characters from your gang and on the road, which I can't go through all of them. Old faces appear such as John Marston, his family and even uncle. But the character that had the most impact other than Arthur was Dutch Van der Linde. Dutch the leader of these misfits and outlaws starts off as a decent man who seems to just want to help all the people in the gang get to safety. He seems caring, kind and in control. He is a fearless leader who is good with words, which in some way gets the gang to follow him, he seems to know what he is doing. However, he is such a good character because just like Arthur he changes, when things start going south he slowly loses control, his actions and ideas are being questioned. This kind man is now ruthless and reckless, giving no concern for the safety of his fellow gang members. Loyalties are questioned, ties broken between members and Dutch. If you ever think about leaving...well that won't go down too well with big ole Dutch.

Mechanics

Before the game came out Rockstar were really pushing all these mechanics that are in the game, which all added up to create a realistic world. Which I believe they have done pretty well. Lets start of by talking about character mechanics, the big one is of course beard growth, yes your beard does grow and to a pretty considerable length. Think of Gandalfs beard but a little shorter. You have to feed your character otherwise you will start becoming underweight or on the other hand if you eat too much you get fatter, these mechanics do happen, but seem to not change the game massively if you are on either side of the chart. However, food is a necessary thing to help your health gauge fill up. Other than that we have a stamina bar, health bar and dead eye bar which all increases over time by running, fighting and being shot at. A bit like GTA V.

Now we come to world mechanics, so a big thing Rockstar touched on before the games release was that you can go up to anyone and you can greet them, antagonise them etc which could lead to them getting angry and attacking you etc, depending on how far you take it. Yes this does happen, you don't have to use it, it's just there for if you want to, It's a great mechanic honestly as it makes the world feel alive, like these are real people. Another thing that links to npc mechanics is the random events that happen while riding your horse, you could be going down a road and then someone is being robbed. You can help them or leave them. This mechanic ties into the honour system as well, if you left them your honour will go down if it goes all the way down, people will hate you and if your honour is high people will like you more and less bad things will happen. These two mechanic together makes the game seem like 1. the world is thriving with people and 2. that your actions have consequences, be that good or bad. Another great mechanic is that people remember the actions that you do, an example of this is with a mission at the start of the game, where you get into a bar fight and get thrown out of the window. Next time you go to that bar, the barman will say something along the lines of, I hope you don't start any trouble. Just that little thing again makes it seem like a lived in, real world.

Now for some small mechanics, which there are many that go unnoticed such as, bodies decaying. If you kill someone and leave their body it will decay over time, vultures and other animals will come and eat them etc. Which is just a cool little thing. Another little mechanic is your saddle bag and the way you actually take the guns of the side of your horse, like you would in real life. It's the little things that matter. I have missed out other mechanics but If I wrote about them all I would be here for ages. Some of them are, actually being able to pick items you want buy up in a shop, like seriously you see them in your hand or wearing less or more layers of clothes depending on weather conditions.

Horse Mechanics

Horses, horses, horses. What can I say about the horses. The horses in this game move like an actual horse in real life, yes the males have testicles and yes they grow or shrink depending on weather conditions. It's the little things that count. The horse in this game is your pride and joy, you tame the horse, bond with the horse which unlocks new mechanic for the horse, such as drifting. It's stamina goes up over time and so does its health. You have to feed the horse and brush it to increase bonding and the general health of the animal. However, with any animal and living creature in the world, they can die and in this game it's no different. It can die by being shot, tripping over a rock or tree, or just about anything to be honest. Which is sad but creates some funny clips. You can customise your horse, changing saddles, tail shape, size, if it's braided or not. Same with the mane. Also just to make it even sadder when your horse dies you can name it. RIP Mrsflumpylocks. That was my horse BTW it died by hitting a tree. You change all these aspects of the horse by going into a stable, which reminds me exactly of GTA Vs Auto shop. It even does the same cinematic to get into the stable and or shop. Overall the mechanics for the horse are good and is a great improvement from the first game.

Hunting

Hunting is a mechanic you are introduced to pretty much in the first hour of the game. Rockstar said it will be a big part of the game. Which it is to a certain degree. At the beginning of the game you have to hunt for deers to feed the camp. You use your tracking skills to follow the animal, then once you see it use a bow to kill it. You then skin it and then put the meat on the back of your horse to give to the gangs cook Pearson. With the pelt you have you can go and sell it, if it's a high quality pelt i.e you killed it by a head shot or heart shot, the pelt would sell for more. There are also certain animals called Legendary animals which drop legendary pelts which can be used to craft sweet looking outfits for your character, which gives you another goal in the game. Now hunting is all well and good, but I feel it becomes unnecessary to hunt animals for the camp if you have most of the upgrades and keep the camp stocked, as you don't need to kill anything, the camp will survive without you doing any animal killing. So really at end game the only thing hunting is good for is getting cool outfits. Nevertheless, hunting is still pretty fun.

Graphics/Environment

From random encounter with people on the road to animals frolicking around the plains. Red Dead Redemptions environment is a beautiful but ruthless one. It feels lived in with the encounters that happen good or bad and gives a lot to take in and marvel at. Thats probably why you have a camera in your satchel. The graphics are beautiful, with an amazing and careful eye of detail, from your footsteps actually appearing in the snow or mud to your face actually getting dirty over time. On the performance side of things I was playing on a standard Xbox One and it looked great, I had no frame rate drops of any kind and I can only imagine what the game would look like on a an Xbox One X and a 4k TV.

The Bad

Honestly I have to really nitpick to find anything that I would call “bad”. So here they are. I feel like the law is wanted system is really unfair and biased against me. I could go to a town and someone starts a fight with me, but I get a wanted bounty? It doesn't make sense, also the whole witness system and how every time I kill someone there is always a witness that I can't see. It gets very frustrating. My next gripe is that the picking up of items in shops physically is pretty cool, but I feel is useless as it takes so long to buy anything. I hardly ever use the mechanic, unless i’m trying to get cigarette cards for hours on end. The last “con” is that I feel weapon customisation could be better, when I heard about the customisation of weapons I thought it would be better and I know they are old guns which wouldn't have acog scopes and stuff. But I just felt like I wanted more. Again these are tiny things that don't affect my enjoyment of the game massively

End game content

Once you have finished Red Dead Redemption 2, you have a long list of things to do. Which are as followed. Do the collectable missions, there are many collectable missions in Red Dead from dinosaur bones to cigarette cards, which you will need if you want to get 100% on the game. Hunt all the legendary animals, get some outfits. Go fishing, play poker or even go treasure hunting. There is also many a side quest to do, some very weird and some hilarious, I’m talking about that circus quest there. Lastly explore the world, Red Dead Redemption 2 has the biggest and most beautiful map out of all the Rockstar games, full of easter eggs and hidden items. The end game offers a lot to the players to keep their interest and the best thing aswell is that an online will be coming in November.

Rockstar has crafted a wonderful game, which feels realistic, lively and thriving with activity. Which immerses you so much that you do not want put down the controller and you would rather play than take on real world responsibilities. Other than that the game offers an amazing story that of a film and provides you with memorable characters and will make you question your moral compass. I would recommend anyone this game and I rate this title 9/10. Thank you for reading and I hope this helped you.

#xbox one #xboxlive #xbox #microsoft #red dead redemption 2 #reddead2 #arthur morgan #gtav #gta5 #rockstar #wild west #america #ps4 #sony #cowboy #review #film #gamereview #games #pc #game of the year #blog #reviewer #thoughts #typing #essay

[ftcvmeron]

╰☆╮ JUSTIN BIEBER ─ CAMERON BURNS identifies as CISMALE and uses HE/HIM pronouns. they’re a BAR CHAIN OWNER, and they’re only TWENTY-THREE ! they’re said to be TENACIOUS, but also STANDOFFISH. i guess that’s why they’re known as THE ACE in the tabloids.

MATURE THEMES: violence, drugs/crime, guns are IMPLIED & some are MENTIONED.

HI. i’m jess + this is........going to be a mess. bc im a mess. love me? 

i was going to make cameron a little der + a little himself (keep some key points but otherwise he’d be his own character) but i decided instead to move back the burns family timeline so : cameron is the great-great-great-great grandson of derek burns?? bc i like the idea better so LEMME GET INTO IT. he’s also a new character so ;-;-; bear with me !! 

AESTHETICS SO FAR: arrogance, chewing gum 25/9, nice cologne, v well dressed or casual but always looks good, tattoos + bloody knuckles, pretty boy w/ a side of violence, always trying to joke, can be a bit of a talker, doesn’t like to get personal, doesn’t like attachments but is #soft also like derek was + he smokes, drinks, always ready for trouble, at the gym when he’s not being a lil shit !!

cameron james burns + twin: first name + j-middle name burns (fraternal or identical. identical w/ a diff face ofc. could be a connection if someone wants to do it.) were born to saint oliver burns + gemini rylen burns (nee marseilles)  + fyi: apparently the boy gene is higher with the burns family than the girls ;-; another familial trait is twins. fight me. i have a PROBLEM > I KNOW ;-;-;

i imagine the crime syndicate / empire that derek started has grown from his beginning to widen his horizons (at age 25) + owning 1 bar. the burns empire has built into an even bigger corporation despite quite a few shots at the family’s work (from cops, from enemies, from fake friends, etc.) & these days they are a big name worldwide for property rentals/real estate endeavors, nightclubs & strip clubs, and bars. they have a few investments into politics/the gov’t & built their own hotel line. most of their focus tho is on the drug/crime empire to keep money flowing in. their stripclubs are under some variation of the name “PRINCESS PEACH’S / 2P” + their nightclubs are under some variation of the name “YOSHI’S ISLAND” + all of the bars are under “BOWSER’S CASTLE” bc of dallas (der’s twin pro-baseball bro) & his obsession with mario + numbers + baseball. the real estate + hotel line endeavors are under the Burns name. i imagine the burns family name carved in gold & that’s... what i have so far for that. 

cameron inherited the bar chain of the corporation + the strip clubs. he is a candidate for the leadership of the derek burns crew (i don’t have another name for it but it’s probably better to say the burns crew O R it might just be legacy instead tbd) but he’s in comp. w/ his twin & maybe a cousin or two. (which could be v cool connections.)  

cameron has been in jail once. he was 17 years old & they almost tried him or attempted to try him as an adult. they also tried to get him for more than what he was arrested for, but it fell through. he spent 2 years in jail. 

FOR HIS WC of his ex and high school sweetheart: i wouldn’t imagine someone insanely sweet, bc we love someone with attitude. this person, however, didn’t know about his family history & the reasons in which they didn’t work out could be simply bc he was in jail & they ditched or they ditched bc he was in jail AND they didn’t think they were getting involved w/ someone legitimately on the wrong side of the law or just they ditched bc they didn’t know what they were getting into until that wakeup call o r whatever but i’d die for this. 

he’s cocky as who knows what & that’s really most of what i got for him rn. he’s probably very angry (kind of quiet angry like derek) + he tends to keep his private life private. like. v v v private. sealed away tight. but he’s always looking to go do some shit & fuck things up?? like starting a riot for nothing or anything violent. 

he’s heterosexual..........but that’s just what vibe i get from him RN this could change. as weird as that sounds, but he could fancy some m + nb as well but rn i get the girls, girls, girls vibe from him ;-;-;-; 

i keep wanting to call him cam but i also don’t so it’s tbd on how he feels for that nickname ???

MORE AESTHETICS: eats v healthy, tries to stay fit as ever. NEVER wears a shirt unless he has to (for the most part), always seems to be doing nothing even tho he’s busy 99.9% of the time, goes for a morning jog daily. gets a new tattoo for occasions he deems “special” + always drinking water unless he’s getting drunk/wasted. probably a slut bc he loves women sm like “they’re all so beautiful” a quote from my boy. v body positive but he’s also promotional of health for the sake of it (even tho he has some p nasty health habits; i.e. smoking), nomadic behavior + sleeping at the Burns’ hotels more often than his own loft. has a loft above his bar. he’s either sleeping at the gym, the hotel, the bar or one of his girls’ homes.

COOLIO CONNECTIONS TO FILL: 

EX/HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEART: i really would love this + alexis ren. but i’m down for anything angsty.  PR STUNT EX: for whatever reason. ALSO PR STUNT CURRENT GF: ????? we could make them hate each other but have to be stuck with each other O R a slowburn o r anything. maybe?? TWIN BROTHER O R SISTER: bc that’s cool af................. COUSIN(S): 1 OR 2 BC what’s the big fight for the throne w/o COUSINS !!  FWBS/ONE NIGHT STANDS: classic + cool but still not as fun as angsty things !! BEST FRIEND AKA THE RIDE OR DIE: always there for the mans + also his fave person.  FLAKE FRIEND(S): a couple for the drama !!  PARTNER IN CRIME: is always down to LITERALLY fuck shit up (actually start riots + break things + it’s always been like this, they’ve known each other forever + they kind of got worse as time went on but also one of the realist people cameron knows)  SIDECHICKS: I mean. maybe why not. girls he calls in his time of need. or just to hangout when he really is free or bored. or when he needs a place to sleep.  SQUAD: let’s make one. alright? ALRIGHT. 

LIKE THIS & I’LL SLIDE INTO YOUR DMS IF YOU WANT TO PLOT W/ ME + CAMERON !! <3

#drugs tw #guns tw #violence tw #crime tw #⎾ cameron burns ⤷ ❝ i don't care what anybody else thinks ; lies! i do not need nobody to help me ; lies! — intro ❞ ⏌ #⎾ cameron burns ⤷ ❝ yeah what's your definition of success? i don't trust the thoughts that come inside my head — muns ❞ ⏌

[creideamhgradochas]

Thanks to the lovely @lenavonschweetz for taking the time to answer these! Get to know more about lovely Lena, go give her a follow and then show her some love!

These questions are from this list. You should check it out, there’s 50 questions all together and they’d be great to ask your favorite fic writer!

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fan-fiction?

I believe I was like 14 or 15 (omfg it's been 10 years...).  My best friend and I actually got into it together :)

2) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

Aaaaaah this one is difficult.  I love both for different reasons.  I just recently explained this to a pal, and he freaked out cuz he loved the metaphor so much lol I like to write reader inserts because I feel like a DM of DnD, kinda weaving a story - which is also why I like reading reader inserts.  Because I never reader them and put myself in the Y/N slot, but rather a OC kinda version of myself, like the woman I wish I could be so to speak.  But I also find there are some stories that need to be written as an OC, so I have a love for both forms.

3) What is your favorite genre to write for?

I really like AUs that take characters and put them in totally different situations

4) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

any of the stories I wrote about A7X members - yes, those are out there lol I wrote them in middle school.  They are GARBAGE and so laughable

5) When is your preferred time to write?

Middle of the night - when I should be sleeping lol

6) Where do you take your inspiration from?

Music, mainly, whether it be lyrics or the feel of a song

7) In your Show Me Love series, what’s your favorite scene that you wrote?

Natasha and the "Accidentally Suck His Dick Pencil™️" scenes lol

8) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

I've fixed errors in stories, and I've considered editing couple of pieces due to severely harsh criticisms , but haven't had time to do so

9) Who is your favorite character to write for? Why?

Romantically - Bucky, of course. Platonically - Nat is my favorite BFF character to write

10) Who is your least favorite character to write for? Why?

Unfortunately, Steve.  I just haven't found a groove for him yet though I wish I had!!

12) How did you come up with the idea for the Show Me Love series? 

Like everything - it was inspired by music lol I was listening to Show Me Love by the band t.A.T.u. when writing the desk scene and it just kinda stuck

13) Do you have any abandoned WIPs?

I don't have any that I've abandoned for good, but I do have a few that I had to put on the back burner because of inspiration that stalled or just flat out writer's block

14) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

YES.  I'd really like to write sequels to Show Me Love, Never Have I Ever, and Die A Happy Man to name a few.

15) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

Before the Worst.  It didn't cooperate with me, and I'm still not 100% satisfied with it.

16) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

Oh god, All of them!!!  It's very hard to narrow down, but anyone who has the guts to create and share their work with the world is worthy of admiration.  To be specific though, oh god, uuuummmm @sugardaddytonystark, @myattemptatfanfictioning​, @plumfondler​, & @papi-chulo-bucky, & @emilyevanstan (BUT I LOVE SO MANY MORE, NARROWING DOWN IS SO DAMN HARD).  I'd have to go with these folks in particular because they are all so talented and kind and everything I aspire to be in a writer, honestly.  They just have a way with words and world building that is A1!

17) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

Can I say all of them? cuz if so, I'd say all of them. lol. Maybe my Loki fic Light in the Hallway.  I was in a dark place and wrote it as a form of catharsis.

18) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

M U S I C.  always music.

19) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

I am a big baby, sooooo yyyyUUUUUP

20) Which part of your Show Me Love series was the hardest to write?

The ending.  I always have a hard time wrapping things up.

21) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?

I have a general outline that often morphs along the way

22) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fan-fiction?

people can be cruel, BUT, people can also be so kind it's uncanny.  Learn to look for the light in people and just keep writing what makes you happy.  Writing is not a competition, it's a passion :)

23) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

The Bridges of Time.  I get that it's a little off the wall but I just felt an insane need to write it, I wish more people would give it a chance

24) In contrast to 23 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?

A hobbit fanfic I wrote on AO3 - Like Flies and Spiders, probably.  I started it when I was a LOT younger then picked it up again and you can tell that the first several chapters were written by a youngin and it's kinda funny lol

25) Are any of your characters based on real people?

Oh, always.  Natasha and Wanda are based on my irl BFFs in every story I write them.  I literally had a friend tell me to drop a pencil and accidentally suck my professor's dick, so there's that lol

26) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

OMG  so I just saw this recently, and it literally made me cry: @ok-shuri-buck said "I don't know how I fell in love with you through your writing but I just want you to know it reflects your soul.  I love your soul" I literally WEPT in front of my mother, it was the kindest thing anyone has ever said of my writing and it still makes me smile

27) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?

as said in response to my 'imagine riding Bucky' drabble, and I quote, "Perfectly good fic ruined by 2nd person POV and that Y/N cop out." But I totally get that some people don't like reader fics, so ah well.  To each their own.

28) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?

I share them with my IRL bff @skrywolf772.  he and I bounce fic ideas back and forth all the time, It's wonderful (Also, he's my basis for sassy Nat BFF just fyi)

29) Do people know you write fan-fiction?

A handful of people do.  Like I said, my two irl BFFS, a girl from school (who I am mutuals with - love ya Lex ;P) and my mom.  Idk if she knows I write fanfiction or not, but she knows I write and post on tumblr

30) What’s you favorite minor character you’ve written?

probably Sam, Tony, or Thor in Never Have I Ever.  I just love writing those little shits as the wackiest teammates

31) What spurs you on during the writing process?

Often when I get the idea for a fic, it's a single sentence that will be later in the plot, so often I find myself writing and building to that specific point.  After that, I have some trouble wrapping things up (which is why I write more multi-shots than full series) but I usually use music to spur me along after I've reached that peak :)

32) What’s your favourite trope to write?

Friends to Lovers. is. mah. SHIT!!

33) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

Oh lordy, that was like 15 years ago...but I betcha it was a Avenged Sevenfold or Escape the Fate fanfic lololololllllll

34) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

(don't hate me) Angst >:)  it just comes easier to me than the other 2, and I find it so cathartic

#milestone celebration #ask the author #lenavonschweetz

[starryseo]

youtuber!felix

only 2 more left after this

im sad

also,,, warning,, a bit of swearing in this oneeee

Chan | Woojin | Minho | Changbin | Hyunjin | Jisung | FELIX | Seungmin | Jeongin

without further ado

lee yongbok felix!!!!!!!!!! idk a yongbok

ok so felix totally watches buzzfeed unsolved

im sorry i was watching that b4 writing this

and he unironically quotes the guys on there

refers to the rest of the sk guys as demons bc he’s always saying “hey demons, it’s me… ya boi” #GottaLoveShane’sSkepticAss

does a lot of research into the haunted/ paranormal stuff and has dragged hyunjin on his hunt for haunted places

kinda hard to find some places bc they’re barricaded and he doesn’t wanna break the law by breaking in :’))

plus his parents would probably not let him stay overnight at a haunted place

but he tries his best to go during the day to, like, a haunted house or something

along with being a supernatural fanatic

he makes videos on conspiracy theories

all. the. time.

deffo the type to cover his laptop/ desktop camera bc the government are watching lmfao i do this too

also deffo believes in shit like the illuminati and men in black i doooo

in some of his videos you can see his room

he’s sooo got pictures, newspaper articles and shiz like that on his wall

and the typical red string tying different pictures and articles together

he’s,,,, really,,,,,, into this kinda stuff

alongside that

he’s obviously into memes

so in his videos he’ll have trashy Comic Sans comments

y’know how WillNE used to have in his videos? like that.

is also really into those theories relating the disney princesses together bc damn those are actually cool

[cyanide voice] DID YOU KNOW… elsa & anna’s parents are also tarzan’s parents????? [just a theory bUT IT MAKES SENSE OKAY]

y’know those parkour videos i keep mentioning

bringing it back real quick

one time felix was skateboarding by some lil’ lake

and he tried doing a trick but he almost fell in

and he let out the most girly scream ever and changbin was dYING

thankfully he didn’t fall in,,,,

but then he tried it again and he fell half in and changbin lost it. he. could. not. stop. laughing.

felix was just like “bro <\3″

even jisung was laughing,,, he almost dropped the camera,,, but luckily he didn’t and he managed to get felix’s scream recorded

felix actually wasn’t too mad about that

he made a meme out of it?? like why???

y’know that one meme that uses Bag Raiders - Shooting Stars as background music [the song fyi - if you dont know what im talking about; use earplugs & low volume!!! there is swearing after the 1st so watch out]

and he managed to cut a picture (of himself) from jisung’s video as he was falling

and he moves it so he’s falling through loads of different things and ends up falling through space that escalated quickly

that was a crappy explanation but watch that video and you should understand

so yeah

he’s a bit crazy :)

it’s ok tho bc he’s funny

he also does vlogs

you can imagine how active and crazy he is in those

& he’s literally always screaming in those

someone get him to chill pls

he and chan will speak english and use australian slang in the vlogs

and 1) comments overflow with how cool they sound

but 2) the other guys just go ughhhhh and start speaking korean really fast so they cant understand - or, well, felix mainly, can’t understand

or c) they’ll chat shit about chan and felix slowly so they understand and are like hey ://

it’s all banter dw

he watched jisung’s make-up w/ my minho thing right

and tried doing that too

but with changbin

obviously he didn’t tell changbin what he was gonna do

but when changbin got there

and felix got him to sit at the table rather than where his game console was he was suspicious

when felix came out of his room with make-up

you bet your butt changbin got outta that chair and ran

felix was just like “wow… i got jisung’s make-up and everything and he up and left :(((”

that didn’t stop him tho lmao

he had already set up a camera to record in that room

so he just got that camera, put it on the table

and recorded himself doing his own make-up

it was going decently until he got the eyeliner

and started doing it around his eyes

and then he found inspiration in Big Daddy’s (from Kick Ass) eye make-up [fyi]

yeah after that he kinda just fcked up his own face

but he was so proud of it

bless

he took a pic of himself and sent it to the sk group chat like “this is what you missed out on, binnie”

changbin: so not much then, yh?

felix: im breaking up w/ u

changbin: finally

as revenge for that bad changlix break-up

he gathered the ‘00 line [SQUAD ROLL OUTTTTTTT]

and they planned to get revenge on changbin

so on a saturday when they knew changbin was gonna be sleeping till like midday

(because he was up all night gaming the idiot)

they came to his house early

and got the make-up kit ready lmfao

seungmin held the camera

whilst hyunjin blended like 5 different shades of lipstick

jisung put concealer, blush and bronzer on him (God knows how some ended up in his hair but whatever)

and felix did the eyeshadow and eyeliner

just to feel a little rebellious

jisung let seungmin do the highlight

omg bad boy!seugming im deadddd

but then jisung accidentally sneezed and everyone was like SHIT and froze

they waited like 5 seconds until they heard changbin mumble “what the fuck…”

and then his eyes opened

and he was like “what the hell are you guys doing here?”

and hyunjin just smilled, discreetly hiding the lipstick he was currently holding behind his back

“ah,, we just came over to wake you up!!”

changbin was having none of that shit and he was like

changbin: “why is seungmin holding a camera then?? and jisung’s literally got something in his hand”

changbin: “jisung,,,,, is that… make-up?? you fcking did not”

felix: “RUN!!!!!!!!”

seungmin managed to get a clear shot of changbin’s pissed off face before they goT THE HELL OUTTA THEREEEEEEE

changbin flew straight up and chased them 

but unfortunately they got outta the house just in time

and he wasn’t about to dash out of his house in his pj’s

imagine if seungmin had forgotten to actually start the video holy shittt lmfao

he remembered dw

anyways they got back to felix’s house and he immediately started editing the video

he managed to get a picture of changbin’s final pissed off face before they ran

he sent that to the group chat

and all the guys made that their youtube profile pictures it was HILARIOUS

whilst i’m on the topic of ‘00 line

they have killer gaming matches

and felix lives to troll people

he doesn’t limit himself to just annoying the other ‘00 guys

nah that’s too basic

he’ll troll anyone on his team

he’s blocked so many people from getting through doors

or blocked them in one corner

and he can sometimes hear them swearing and shouting to move the fck away dude!!!

and he deadass just laughs over the mic

he’s gotten a lot of people killed that way 

(including himself lmao)

he still somehow managed to not be last on the scoreboard??

he plays really well actually

but he never misses an opportunity to troll

he gets a lot of hate messages from people online like “dude wtf why’d you do that”

and he’s just like “y not bro <3″

so yeah

although he loves trolling and annoying as many people as he can

he loves the sk guys

and he’d do anything for them

he can get real cheesy at times

making edits of them all dramatically falling in love with him

like he cut a clip of woojin saying “i love merigues!” and “felix keeps messaging me, should i just block him” from his cooking videos

and merged them to get “i love felix!”

and then he played that behind a clip of woojin just talking into the camera so it looked realistic enough

and he sent that to the group chat like “changbin wHO? i only know a kim woojin <3 love you bby <3″

everyone knows he edited that but they still mock woojin anyway

and changbin literally just said “good luck with him woojin, he’s insane”

back to the sentimental ending:

he loves the guys & they love his annoying ass too

knows that even tho he annoys them to the extreme a lot

he can trust them and they’ll help him with whatever

they’re like his home away from home and he loves it so much

his desktop picture is a rlly cute pic of them all together, completely unedited and unfelixified

he loves it

whoa that was long. 2?? updates in a day?? damn im on a roll :)) 

i got a coupla requests for boyfriend texts w/ some stray kids members

like damn after this,,, a,,, bf stray kids thing??? idkkkkkk ?????????? so many series, so little timeeee

anyways thanks 4 reading :) <3

#stray kids #lee felix #sk #stray kids scenarios #stray kids writing #stray kids imagine #kpop scenarios #kpop writing #kpop imagine #kpop #youtuber felix #youtube au #stray kids series #felix #flx

[catanonym]

Hi, 2021!

First, thank to God for helping me through 2020 well.

...

Story time, my early 2020 started in Jakarta. Based on an invitation of interview job. So gambling, without any conherence preparation, just go cause if you never try, you never know. It took a week—or two🤷🏻‍♀️ but failed. I didnt get that job and miserably go home.

To be honest, I didn't like my previous job, but hell i need money and there I was. After got dumb from Jakarta, back to Samarinda and pathetic. Glad I had bf which help me through a lot, encourage myself to feel grateful and spread positive ambience, even myself not. I like play pretend fyi:))

For 8 month, hold an emotionally unstable—thing, especially during this pandemic. One thing for sure, everyone struggling, even more than me. The mindset, help me.

And this was the lowest part, when I got rejected a job again (that was a settle job which been dreaming by society in Indonesia, mostly)—just because my psychotest didnt reach the minimal score but overall my grade got in. Feelin dissapointed.

I never pray that hard before—forgive me God.

I never took something serious back then, except for this one.

If I got, I have a comprehensive-plan for my future and whoosh, gone like a dust.

Mess my world. Ruin my energy to life.

...

2 month, tried to recovery and play pretend (again) while whispering my mind

"there are so many people struggling with their economy, how to life and eat well, rise their children, their relatives died suddenly. And look at you, do ugly-crying every night seeing your relatives succeed, and then you feel left out, dumb, even useless. Cmon, let's move on and be grateful for whatever you have"

Thus, I decided to start apply scholarship (I dont have plan for taking master honestly). Indeed, unprepare-well-person for the admission such as english language proficiency (ielts), not having a passport, recommendation letter, or any else. Choose the universities without any considerations. Just imagine I'll enjoy the learning system if I get to study there. Yeah let's see~

Day by day, I used to any rejections. Just to make this clear, my mental was/is not in a good condition (cause my experience with people back then) and the trauma is getting along with me. So deeply sorry to my partner, when I said about my overthink problem—kinda friends underestimated me, someone hate me just because I'm not pretty, yeah because it was happen. Not as simple as that, but I wont try to bring that out, desperately insane.

....

And yeah, I survived this damn-weird-sad-strong-year ever, 2020. Btw found a quote which relate to my 2020 situation and so overwhelming, for me personally.

"I thought 2020 would be the year I got everything I wanted. Now I know 2020 is the year I appreciate everything I have"

"We are all broken. That's how the light gets in" - Ernest Hemingway

And about my 2021's whishes..

1. Pray, as much as moslem in jannah do.

2. Consume less sugar, healthy food

3. Exercise more

4. Have 20 trainings or seminars

5. Read 15 books

6. Write 10 essays or articles

7. Go abroad, by scholarship or work trip or vacation

8. Get married—I dont know where I should put this list, I want him for my life-partner and be a halal-partner is better right? Hm but the decision comes from him so lets wait.

9. Get a settle job (this is my every years wish, hope this year works)

10. Last but not least, I wanna be happy, definitely am.

3.00 am, 1st January 2021

AGT

[impalaimagining]

PittCon Saturday

(holy shit y’all this was so much to remember from this morning until now. sorry if I forgot anything) Also this is obnoxiously long so this one gets a cut. #You’reWelcome

Read Friday’s here.

Part One: 

No Rob Benedict. Rich makes promises of him later.

ROB BENEDICT!!! He walked out with Briana and she claims she planned the whole thing.

Briana, Kim, and Gil didn’t have anyone lined up for questions. Briana threatened period talk. Gil blushed. 

Questions for Briana today instead of Kim. Briana does a little victory thing every time someone says, “My question is for Bri.” Kim mocks her from yesterday and says, “I’m gonna answer it anyway.”

Gil is third-wheelin’ it, hard. 

Gil addresses the whole thing that happened with the butt grabbing. He wanted to “nip it in the bud because it was weighing very heavily” on him. Apparently I missed that last night because I had no idea what he was even talking about when he said it. He’s a great guy. Try not to fault him for one little slip, yeah? He’s human. Cut the man some slack. 

Part Two: 

Rob scolds Rich for not telling us about the “I <3 KoC” shirts. Debates about whether it’s pronounced like Coke or like cock. “Wear that to Grandma’s house.” “One of those things will kill you!” 

Matt, Rob, and Rich bounce off of one another unbelievably well. 

Pssst, Matt Cohen is fucking attracccttiivveeeee

Questions about other projects and hobbies come up. Matt says he wants to get into racing again. Racing is in his future. Richard says he’s a lot like his father. His father was a lawyer. Rob used to have his own baseball league. With himself. He made up teams like “The Colors” and “Other Things.”

Rob and Rich are besties and it makes my life. 

The pilot for Skyward is streaming now on Amazon. Rich said there’s a part already sketched out for Rob if the show continues. It wasn’t his idea to include Rob, but he wanted to eventually anyway. 

Part Three:

Mark Sheppard is either consistently grouchy or was very tired/cranky today.

Almost all of his answers boiled down to one word, so that was the one word he used, and then moved on. He probably answered more questions on his own than Misha and Jake did combines just because of how fast he was moving. 

He said fuck Creation’s rules and walked around the crowd most of the time. Also joked about how when he was more powerful (and important), they never would’ve allowed that. (sad face on my part)

A fan asks how he feels about Fergus’s deal and how he lost his soul, what he sold it for. He doesn’t laugh. Just says, “If you want to ask about my penis, there are other ways to do it. I can’t relate to Fergus, if that’s what you’re asking.”

His favorite line is “Where’s your moose?” 

“You’re good, but I’m Crowley,” was improv. 

Talking about his wife and daughter made him light up like a Christmas tree. It was adorable. 

Everyone thinks he hates cats. He got very snarky about it. “Did I say I hate cats? No. I don’t hate anything. I hate Misha. Oops.”

He thinks Crowley came full circle. There wasn’t much else for him to do in the series, he thinks. 

He doesn’t understand the logic behind Rowena being Crowley’s mother.When Rowena dies at the hands of Lucifer (the first time), Mark said the line, “Always thought I’d be the one to do it,” felt very right in that moment.

Part Four: 

Jake Abel has the bubbliest butt in the entire cast. To quote myself from earlier today, “You could bounce a fuckin nickel off of that thing.”

He’s been creating plotlines and ways to bring Adam back. New plans are made every time he comes to a convention. Currently, we’re looking at an Adam spinoff in which he and his mother are resurrected (him from Hell, her from Heaven) and become hunters. They have “opposing forces!” as Jake said, and the story would follow the way they got the opposing forces to work together for the same common purpose.

This man is insane. 

He kept reminding us that he was in a weird mood because his flight didn’t get in until 4am.

Sleepy Jake is the cutest. 

Talk of Percy Jackson. 

Lots of talk about bringing Adam back. 

Part Five: 

MISHA. FREAKIN. COLLINS.

Guys. I’ve never been more amazed by one person’s smile and overall attitude. He’s so cheery and bright and uugghhh Misha.

He tells a story about his dad, and then says that he had to tell his children about his parents’ (brief, I think?) split, but he doesn’t want it to sound like that’s the only way marriages can end. The next day, his son went to school and told the teacher, “I want my parents to get a divorce.” I literally have no idea if this is true, but it’s what Misha told us.

Fake spoilers for Season 13, but he told us that he was filming it last night. Jared and Jensen still fuck with him to no end. 

“We were filming. Jared was on the bed, and we were doing something we don’t usually do on Supernatural.” *cue roars from the audience*

I think he tried to fight someone in the crowd. I have photos of his bulgy eyes and sassy jawline. Yeah, it’s a thing. 

MY PHOTO OP WITH HIM !!!!!!!!!

I was going to show him the photo of himself standing in front of the whiteboard with his drawing of Maison and the dandelion. Creation doesn’t allow phones in the photo op rooms so I had to put it in my pocket, which was fine.

I walked up and asked the woman if I could show him something. She said, “Sure, just make it quick!” Again, I get it. Not a problem. 

I’m standing there waiting with my arm pulled out of my sleeve to show him my tattoo. I walk up and I’m greeted with the most amazing smile and such a soft “hi.” 

I blurt out, “I NEED TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING!” *shoves my arm towards him* *silence from Misha as he stares*

His mouth kind of popped open when he realized what it was. His eyes are so freakin’ blue and I know because he looked me directly in them and told me, “That’s amazing.” 

My heart is racing, but I lean and and we hug and Chris snaps the photo. I step to walk away and Misha grabs my hands (!!!!!!!!!) I turn and look up at him (because damn he’s tall! He’s right, he’s just surrounded by giants.) and he squeezes my hands. “That’s amazing.” It’s so quiet and I blink for a second. “Thank you.” I get another tight hand squeeze and thank him before running into the hallway and crying. (*inhale* I’m okay, really.)

HUGE HUGE HUGE FUCKIN’ THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO DONATED MONEY TO GET ME THAT OP. I LOVE YOU ALL AND IF/WHEN I MEET YOU GUYS, HUGS ALL AROUND.

On to the auto. I showed him the tattoo again, quickly spat out, ”I know I showed it to you at the photo ops but...!”  and he drew a heart next to his name when he signed it. I got another “That’s amazing. Thank you so much.” and that friggin smile

I still don’t know if he knows the tattoo is his handwriting. I assume he could tell when he looked at it, especially for how long he looked at it. But *shrugs* maybe one day I’ll tell him.

While waiting for Misha’s op, I MET @HIGHONPASTRIES (whose tumblr is literally not working this weekend, just FYI)!!! There’s a selfie to prove it. Will be posted later.

Part Six: 

SNS

Jake introduces the band. First starts by demanding that we chant, “Bring Adam back,” over and over again. Chant quickly turns into, “Lou-den Swain.”

I didn’t know I needed a fuckin’ KAZOO. *cough cough* @torn-and-frayed @nichelle-my-belle-spn-con-blog (still waiting for the kazoo tip to make an appearance)

Rob Benedict sang half a song without a microphone. Don’t know why. It just wasn’t working. 

MATT COHEN WINKED AS HE RAN PAST ME Y’ALL. Camera was too slow to capture it but if anyone has that wink, good God send it this way, please.

Sam Smith popped out! Just to introduce Kim though - no singing. 

Kim Rhodes was so nervous and I just want to hug her and tell her she’s amazing. 

Briana was wearing LEATHER BOOTS UP TO HER HIPS. #YAAAASSSS

Gil McKinney. That fuckin’ man. Making me cry and shit, two days in a row. 

Drunk Matt Cohen is a thing of my dreams. 

Lots of guest appearances within the band. Chris on bass, Rich on bass, Adam from Creation on keys, Rich on guitar and the mic. Nobody takes Billy’s guitar from him though ;) 

Whipping Post sans Jensen. Still fuckin’ awesome. 

Fare Thee Well!!!! Rob prefaced it with a spoiler alert for those who haven’t seen the episode yet. *giggle*

Rob cried singing She Waits. Then said he loves us so much it’s unreal. This man is pure and good and needs to be protected at all costs. 

They played my faaave song. It’s called Amazing. 

Kazoo song. Also known as Medicated. Someone had an amplifier for their kazoo. Rob was very impressed. Cast members are getting better at the kazoo solo. Rob isn’t happy about it. “This isn’t as fun when you guys are gooood.” 

Questions? Comments? Anything? If you’re at the con, come find me and say hi! I’ll be in (or around) seat D25! :) 

TOMORROW I MEET JARED AND JENSEN Y’ALL THIS IS ITTTTT. *quietly crying bc tomorrow is the end*

*falls into bed and immediately starts snoring* P.S. Cons are exhausting in the best possible way.

#Taylor Takes PittCon #PittCon #PittCon 2017 #Supernatural PittCon #Supernatural Pittsburgh #SPNPitt #Pittsburg-HA