#this was so so early though it was a year before album 1. They were just going off these EPs and gigs in basically the southwest of England | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

persevereforahappyending · 3 months

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This isn't Your Fault (Record Store)

Pairing: Tara Carpenter x Reader

Summary: You paused, untangling your hand from Tara’s as quickly as possible, ignoring the pout on her face, as you pulled out an album.

Warnings: None

Word Count: 3.1k

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist

You woke up to the smell of bacon, your mouth already watering as you slowly opened your eyes, blinking away the sleep. You stretched out, snuggling further into the warm bed, Tara shifting as she cuddled closer. You looked down, seeing her still sound asleep, you smiled at peace with finally having met Sam and her friends. Sneaking around with her was fun but officially meeting everyone was better, they were so nice, even though Sam was still intimidating you knew you could trust her.

“Morning,” Tara mumbled, rubbing her eyes sleepily. “Is that bacon?” She pushed herself up, looking around as if she’d be able to see the bacon.

You giggled, pushing your head further into the pillow. Tara hovered above you, looking down at you with a soft smile that hadn’t left her lips since the two of you fell asleep. “Chad did say they’d be back for breakfast,” you said.

“Guess we better get up then, besides Sam isn’t a half bad cook.”

The two of you rolled out of bed after a few more minutes of cuddling. You were both hungry but neither of you had the the desire to leave the warm comfort of the bed. It was getting colder, you wanted to go to the record store, but you didn’t have a desire to be dragged from store to store with Anika with it being so chilly, not when you could stay inside cozied up with Tara where it was warm.

The two of you finally made your way out of the room and into the kitchen where Sam was flipping the last of the breakfast onto a plate. “Morning,” she greeted with a soft smile. “How’d you sleep?”

You sighed, remembering that you had woken up from a nightmare, Tara made it easier to sleep but the nightmares still came. After your talk with Sam, you had gone back to bed and slept peacefully the rest of the night. “Better,” you said your voice still raspy with sleep. “Thanks again.”

“No problem.”

Tara dragged you to the dining table, refusing to let go of your hand. You rubbed your eyes, thinking maybe you were dreaming at the spread before you. There was bacon, eggs, sausage, pancakes, biscuits, and a couple boxes of cereal.

“I wasn’t sure what you liked,” Sam said, a light blush decorating her cheeks.

“It all looks amazing,” you said, smiling, as you took your seat at the table.

“She also eats like a five-year-old,” Tara commented, giving you a pointed look as you had a piece of bacon in your mouth. “Would eat pizza rolls and Dino nuggets for every meal if they could.”

You pouted as you finished chewing your bacon. “They’re simple and good,” you defended. “What’s wrong with that?”

“You eat like a child.”

“Sometimes I make mashed potatoes.”

“From a box.”

“Shut up.” You grabbed another piece of bacon, silently chewing on it as you looked down at your plate.

“Good morning!” Chad shouted, flinging the door open as he entered.

“It’s too early for this,” Mindy said, rubbing her temple as she curled into Anika’s side.

“Holy shit!” Chads eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw the table of food. He rushed forward, grabbing a plate and began loading it up with everything.

“Damn, Sam,” Mindy said, her eyes wide as well. “Why don’t you ever do this for us?” She chuckled as she grabbed a seat, bringing Anika with her.

After everyone finished breakfast, leaving absolutely nothing left, the six of you headed out, making your way to the record store. There were several record stores downtown and you had been to all of them of course but you had a favorite. The one you liked got all the new vinyl’s when they were released and regularly got in new inventory of older and hard to find albums. The store also had a cat that roamed around and if you were lucky, it let you pet it.

The little bell jingled as you pushed the door open, the sight brought a smile to your face. There were rows upon rows of vinyl’s, all alphabetized or separated by genre. There was a rack up front right by the register filled with everything new. You knew nothing you wanted came out recently, but you still browsed the new releases just in case you missed something. Chad wandered off into one corner, flipping through vinyl of the type of music he liked. Mindy dragged Anika to another corner, but Anika was more than happy to follow.

Tara held your hand, your fingers intertwined as you weaved your way through the rows. There weren’t many people in the store, it was a Saturday, but they hadn’t even been open an hour. You had been here enough times that you didn’t need to look at everything else as you made your way to the section you wanted. You let out a sigh at seeing the little card that said ‘Soundtracks’. Other music was good but getting a vinyl of your favorite movie score or, better yet, a video game score was your favorite. You had most of your favorite scores already but there were older ones you still kept an eye out for. They got old stock in regularly; you never knew when someone would sell their vinyl collection and one you have been after for years would make its way here.

Sam was slowly walking through the aisles, trying not to hover but clearly out of place and sticking close to Tara. You didn’t mind, you were happy Sam seemed to like you so far and that she willingly came out with all of you. Sam had her hands shoved in her pockets as her eyes glanced around the room. You saw her flinch out of the corner of your eye, when you looked to make sure she was okay you saw the little orange store cat rubbing its head against her legs. You smiled, silently chuckling to yourself, the cat loved to jump on the tables and walk around while people were looking but he didn’t usually go right up to people, especially not new people.

“You’re lucky,” you said. “It took me three months of coming here once a week to get him to let me even pet him,” you nodded at the little orange cat.

Sam smiled, she was about to reach down and pet the little guy when he jumped up on the rack of vinyl near her. He perked his little head up, his paws at the edge of the rack as he tried to reach Sam, to force her to pet him. Sam complied and began running her fingers through his fur, scratching behind his ears until he lifted his head up, making her scratch under his chin.

“Does this mean we can get a cat?” Tara asked, smiling innocently at Sam.

“Tara,” Sam sighed. She gave her sister a tired look, she opened her mouth to probably deny Tara about a pet but was cut off when the record cat stood on its hind legs and placed its front paws on her chest. She faced the cat, smiling down at it again as she ran her hands down his back again. “I’ll think about it,” she finally mumbled.

Tara didn’t say anything else, she just gave a wide smile and leaned into your side. She squeezed your hand as she cuddled closer to you. You shook your head smiling at her, you knew Tara always wanted a pet of some sort, but her mom always said no and even if Sam wanted a pet, it wasn’t convenient living in the city, in a small apartment. Sam probably didn’t realize saying she’d think about it was basically a yes to Tara, now Sam wouldn’t hear the end of it until she gave an official yes.

With your free hand you flipped through the various soundtracks, most of which you either had or were from something you had never seen before. You paused, untangling your hand from Tara’s as quickly as possible, ignoring the pout on her face, as you pulled out an album. You smiled widely; you were sure your eyes were sparkling with childlike glee. You had found it, you had finally found it, it was The Last of Us soundtrack. You had the second one, you had the one from the show, but you had missed out on the one from the first game. You flipped through some more, your excitement reigniting, maybe you’d get lucky and find more than one of the ones you’ve been searching for.

You didn’t find anything else that you had been dying to have but you pulled out the Ghost of Tsushima Iki Island soundtrack. You had been putting off getting it because it was expensive, but more time was passing, and you didn’t want to wait too long and end up missing it. You sighed and stuck in under your arm with the other one.

“Don’t you already have that?” Tara asked, wrapping her arm around yours as she intertwined your hands again. You looked down, smiling, Tara was making it as difficult as possible for you to let go of her hand again.

“I have the Ghost of Tsushima soundtrack,” you answered. “For the main game. This,” you nodded to the vinyl in your hands, “is the Iki Island soundtrack.” Tara raised an eyebrow, looking at you like you were insane. “Iki Island was an expansion.” Tara continued to only blink at you. “They’re completely different!”

Tara opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted when Chad came stumbling towards you guys, nearly dropping all the stuff in his arms. “This place is amazing!” he said, looking around at everything as he tried to re-situate his hands.

All three of you laughed at Chad struggling. “Are you serious?” Sam asked, raising an eyebrow as she looked the boy up and down.

Chad looked down at the pile in his arms. “Well, I like this music,” he nodded to the stack of vinyl’s in his arm. “And I need a record player,” he nodded to his other hands. He had a small record player tucked under his arm and it looked like a nice one, probably over a hundred bucks. “Otherwise, me buying the vinyl would just be crazy.”

The three of you shook your heads as you watched Chad make his way to the front counter. He somehow managed to set everything on the counter without dropping a thing. The three of you made your way up behind him, watching as the owner rang up the record player then each of the vinyl, which Chad managed to find several of.

“Your total is three-hundred and forty-two dollars,” the owner said once he had everything scanned.

“Holy shit,” Tara said, looking up at Chad with wide eyes. “Are you insane?”

Chad furrowed his brow as he looked down at Tara while he struggled to fish out his wallet.

“How are you going to afford that?” Sam asked. “You don’t even have a job.”

“Emergency credit card,” Chad answered, holding up the little blue credit card. He smiled as he handed it to the man behind the counter. The man sighed taking the card before swiping it.

“Mom is going to kill you,” Mindy said, joining them at the counter with Anika in tow. “That’s meant for food and necessities.”

“Yeah, and you going to the movies last week was a necessity?”

Mindy crossed her arms, narrowing her eyes at her brother. “The movies isn’t three-hundred dollars.”

“Tickets are over fifteen!”

“That’s not the point!”

You shook your head, pushing your way to the front of the counter while the twins argued. Tara and Sam seemed to already be ignoring them, you had a feeling that it was an hourly occurrence for them.

“I’ll take this,” Anika said, sliding next to you as she plopped The Last of Us vinyl out of your hands. You opened your mouth to stop her, but she didn’t let you get a word out as she held up a hand to silence you. “I told you I would buy you a soundtrack for hugging you to tightly.” The owner behind the counter gave the two of you a weird side glance but continued to bag Chad’s vinyl’s. “So, I am buying this for you.” She gently shoved you away, putting herself at the front of the line and smiling at the man as she sat down your vinyl and the one, she picked out.

“How don’t you already have Hamilton?” you nodded to the vinyl she was buying for herself. “You love that play. You’ve made me watch it over a dozen times.”

“It’s expensive,” she said, holding out her card for the man. “I mean it’s Hamilton!” you chuckled, shaking your head at her. She wasn’t wrong, it was a bit more pricey than the average album. “And there’s a sale going on, so I have to grab it.”

“Of course.” You made your way back to the front as Anika grabbed her bag of stuff. You handed over your vinyl and card as the man rang it up.

“Just be prepared when you come over,” Anika said, shifting her bag around as she pulled out the album she bought for you so you could slip it in your own bag. “I will be listening to nothing else of the next six months.”

“I know how you are.” You smiled at the owner, thanking him as you grabbed the bag of your stuff.

The twins continued to argue as the six of you left the record store. Anika was quick to point to a costume shop across the street that she literally dragged Mindy to. The other four of you followed close behind them. Tara took the bag with your purchases, carrying it in her other hand so she could still keep ahold of you, and you didn’t have to carry a bag in your injured hand, even though you were down to just the brace it tended to ache after a while.

You didn’t know how long you were in the costume shop but when you all left it was the afternoon and Anika had several bundles of fabric and other types of material for costumes. She struggled to carry all of her bags, looking at Mindy with puppy dog eyes to try and get her girlfriend to help out. Mindy scoffed and continued to walk, saying that since she bought everything, she could carry it.

As the six of you made your way down the street you hit up some more shops. There were a few card or sport memorabilia shops Chad wanted to go in, that all of you begrudgingly followed him into since he was going to the stores you wanted. You were sure by the end of the trip Chad had spent near a thousand dollars, all on his emergency credit card. You didn’t necessarily agree that going to the movies was an emergency, but you did agree with Mindy, Chad would certainly be hearing from their mom.

For a late lunch you all stopped at a little Chinese restaurant, laughing and joking around about the day and the amount of money Chad spent. Every time someone brought up one of Chad’s purchases, he was quick to defend himself and explain why it was crucial he bought it today. You didn’t know everything he bought besides the stuff at the record store, but he left with bags full in every sports shop you all entered, and he had more than one jersey in his hand. You might not have known much about sports, but you were aware jerseys were expensive and you were sure being the sports guy that he was that Chad wouldn’t settle for less than the nice ones.

When you finally made it back to the Carpenters apartment, Tara pulled you down onto the couch, cuddling up to you as she rested her head on your shoulder. None of you said a word, just enjoying the silence as Chad struggled to open his record player, saying he needed to test it out and make sure everyone was educated on good music. When he had it set up, he opened one of his records and music quickly filled the once quiet apartment.

Chad jumped to his feet and instantly began dancing, he tried to pull Sam into a dance, but she quickly found herself needing to go to the kitchen. Chad waved her off, not letting it kill his mood as he continued to dance alone. Mindy laughed and shook her head at her brother, pouting once Anika got off her lap and took pity on Chad, joining him in his dancing.

You laughed and had fun with Tara and her friends. You had just met Sam, Mindy, and Chad officially the day before but once you got Sam’s approval, they were quick to welcome you into the group. You talked with them and teased Chad along with them as if you had always known them. It got so late that Tara convinced Sam to let you stay the night again, this time the others took up the offer to stay as well.

While Tara dragged you to her room for the night Anika, Mindy, and Chad were getting themselves situated in the living room. Mindy took one end of the couch while Anika took the other since it wasn’t a pullout couch. Sam tossed Chad some extra blankets and pillows and he made himself a little nest on the floor.

“They like you,” Tara whispered as she played with your hair in the darkness of her room.

“I like them,” you whispered back.

“Just remember you’re my girlfriend first,” she sat up and through the dark you knew she was giving you a pointed look.

“Don’t worry,” you leaned up and kissed her. “I won’t choose them over you.”

“Good,” she cuddled back into your side.

“Unless Anika gets tickets to Hamilton,” you added. “Then you’re on your own that night.”

Tara lightly smacked your shoulder, careful not to hit any of your injuries. You lightly chuckled, wrapping your injured arm around her as best as you could. She continued to snuggle into your side with the help of you pulling her as close as you could. Your ribs ached from the pressure, but you quickly got used to it as your body slowly settled down.

“Love you,” you mumbled into Tara’s hair. You heard her mumble a reply, but sleep had already mostly taken her, with you following soon after.

Taglist: @lilbitdepressed27 @fanboy7794 @noooodlessstuff @tatumrileyslover @alexkolax @canvascoloredin @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @youralphawolf72

#tara carpenter #tara carpenter x reader #tara carpenter x you #tara carpenter x fem!reader #tara carpenter imagine #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega #scream #scream 6 #scream vi #this isn't your fault

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brewsterispunkk · 1 year

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THE TUTOR

eddie munson x reader

part 1/4

pairing: eddie munson x f!reader, eddie munson x shy!reader (only one use of y/n and I cringed writing it)

rating: 18+ mature! minors be gone!

summary: reader has had a secret crush on Eddie Munson for months, only she has been too scared to tell him. When she’s forced to tutor him, she lets it slip that she feels like she’s missed out on the normal “high school experience.” Eddie aims to change that.

A/N: this has been in my drafts since LAST MAY!!! & i am just now finishing it jfc. this is part one to a series I’m looking to make three parts! I’ll finish it if it’s the last thing I do!

You hated first period. Always had, ever since sophomore year when you’d had AP literature with the juniors and Carol Perkins had made it her life’s work to make your life a living hell.

You didn’t know exactly what you had done to make her hate you so much, but early on in the year, she’d made it abundantly clear that you were going to be her new target. And you, being the only awkward, braces-faced sophomore in the class, had elected to suck it up and take the bullying.

After all, she was telling you everything you already knew; your hair was frizzy, your teeth were crooked, your acne was ugly and awful. The usual things that you, with the same awful self esteem that was characteristic of every knobby-kneed 14-year-old, had already heard and already believed.

Eventually, when your study-buddy and the only other underclassman in the class, Nancy Wheeler, found out about the full extent of the bullying, she’d done something about it. She had just started dating Steve Harrington at that point, and despite his larger than life hair and not so great reputation, he was nice to you by association. He was the one who got Carol to stop.

Still though, you thought that that god-awful year of excruciating first-period classes had ruined them for you for good; conditioned you somehow into expecting the worst from your first class of the day so that now, as a senior, you still dreaded it.

Today was no different.

You tapped your foot distractedly in the back seat of Steve’s car as he pulled out of your neighborhood.

“For the last time, Robin, no you cannot play the new Clash cassette. Put it away—“

“Oh come on, Harrington. It’s good.” Robin sighed exasperated. She’d been your next door neighbor since you were five, and your best friend ever since.

“Oh, oh! Like the new Madonna album?” Steve asked, eyebrows raised as he looked at Robin in the passenger seat.

“Or the Duran Duran one?” You piped in, biting your nails and looking at her expectantly. Immediately, her head whipped back to you, mouth open in a silent gasp.

“Wha—“ she made a choked sound, looking between you and Steve before bringing her gaze back to you, narrowing her eyes. “Who’s side are you on?”

“Uhm, the side of good music.” You countered, playfully sassing your best friend.

“Wow..” she drawled dramatically, interrupting you.

“And right now,” you continued. “Harrington has the better mixtape. Sorry!” You batted her hand away as she reached back to smack your arm.

“Boom!” Steve declared triumphantly, raising his hands from the wheel for a split-second. “Sorry, Robs, we love you but if I have to listen to one more of your mix tapes, I’m gonna—“

“Yeah, yeah! I get it.” Robin was silent for a moment before turning around to glance between the two of you. “You know, every day I remember how it was me that got this little group together, and every day it comes back to bite me in the ass.”

“Oh right,” Steve scoffed. “You’re forgetting, I’ve known y/n since junior year, and I’ve only known you for like, I don’t know, nine months.”

“Okay, but you two weren’t friends.” She gave Steve a pointed look. “It wasn’t until I convinced her to come work with us at Scoops Ahoy that we all started hanging out. So what I should be hearing is ‘thank you Robin.’”

In the rear view, you saw Steve roll his eyes at her antics, a smirk on his face.

“Actually,” you pointed out. “Steve and i hung out almost every day sophomore year.”

“Yeah,” Robin pressed. “But that was because of miss prissy-pants, Nancy Wheeler, not because you two were friends.”

You bristled a bit at your best friend’s name for Nancy. You knew she probably didn’t mean anything by it, but still. She didn’t know Nancy like you did. And Nancy had been nice to you when you didn’t have many friends besides Robin. She’d made it her problem when you were being bullied and did what she could to stop it, when she didn’t have to.

You and Nancy hadn’t really talked much since she and Steve broke up. Even after the whole ordeal last summer, with the mall “fire,” and Russian agents in Hawkins, you two hadn’t really reconnected. But there was no bad blood there. You wished her the best.

“I don’t know, Robs,” Steve interjected. “I think she gets bragging rights for knowing me longer.”

You laughed at that.

“Oh whatever,” Robin shook her head, leaning her elbow on Steve’s open window, bopping her head to the music pouring through the speakers.

“Good god, I don’t wanna be going back there.” She groaned as Hawkins High came into view. “It’s not too late to skip you know.” She craned her head back to look at you, a hopeful look in her eyes.

“I’m highly considering it.” You bounced your knee, trying to relieve some of the tension in your limbs.

“Ugh, no I can’t.” Robin exasperated. “My moms gonna kill me if she finds out I skipped again.”

There goes my chance, you thought, knowing there’s no way you’d skip without her.

“Yeah, I do not miss this place, gotta say.” Steve mused as he pulled into the parking lot. Robin rolled her eyes at him. You chuckled. They fought like an old married couple.

“I have Ms. Taylor first period,” you groaned at the memory of the stern, mean older woman who you had for home room this semester.

“Oh god,” Steve laughed. You smacked his shoulder. “Well, good luck with that. I’ll see you two at 3.”

You and Robin begrudgingly exited Steve’s car, facing the pit of despair known as Hawkins High School.

Thank god this was your last year, you thought to yourself.

As you eyed down the beige brick building, you could’ve sworn you felt a bit of your soul get sucked out. It may sound dramatic, but it was true. You felt yourself retreat into yourself the closer you got.

Something about Hawkins high just did that to people. Made them retreat and put on whatever mask they had to go get through the day. You were no exception.

“Let’s get this over with,” Robin mumbled beside you, beginning to walk toward the doors.

“Let’s.” You sighed back.

- - - - - -

There was one aspect of first period English with Ms. Taylor that you considered a saving grace—not that you’d ever admit it out loud.

Eddie Munson.

You weren’t sure why it started, if you were honest with yourself.

In fact, at the beginning of the year, you, like everyone else, were actually a little bit terrified of the lanky, tall metalhead that the rest of the school had dubbed “the freak.”

Before this year, you hadn’t really had many encounters with Eddie Munson. You’d known of him, sure, but never really interacted with him. Besides the few random outbursts he’d have in the cafeteria, and one time when you’d given him a pencil in your art elective freshman year, you’d kept your distance. Most of what you’d heard about him came from the kids; which meant they were lies, at worst, and exaggerations at best. You could tell they admired him from the way they spoke of him—Dustin in particular, who had spoken of Eddie in the way he’d only ever spoken of one person before: Steve. But that was the extent of your knowledge.

Eddie had been two years ahead of you technically, although now he was a senior, same as you, and stuck in the same miserable first period English class with Ms. Taylor.

It had started out innocent enough, you liked to tell yourself. You weren’t always swooning over him and his leather jackets or studded rings. It had just snowballed.

It had begun like this: it was the first day of your senior year, and to add to your nerves at a new dreadful year, Ms. Taylor had given you, and all your classmates, assigned seats.

Great, you’d thought. Just great. Now you had to sit next to a complete stranger while also being a complete ball of anxiety all class.

You were early. Much to your chagrin, Steve had insisted on picking you and Robin up earlier than usual because it was your first day, and what if you have trouble finding your classes. Completely ignoring the fact that you and Robin had gone to Hawkins High for three years and knew it like the back of your hand.

Still, it had gotten you here, 15 minutes early to the first bell, trapped in a room with no one other than Ms. Taylor, and Eddie Munson himself.

“You’ll be right there, beside Mr. Munson.” Ms Taylor had drawled monotonously, eyes focused on a stack of papers on her desk.

You froze, looking over at Eddie, who was scribbling down in a notebook in the second to last row of desks from the back. He looked up at you for a moment before going back to his writing.

“Did you hear me?” Ms Taylor said your last name. You snapped out of it, smiling over at her and gripping the strap to your backpack before making your way to the seat.

“Yeah. Sorry, Ms. Taylor.”

You sat down rigidly, looking anywhere but at Eddie. Ms Taylor left the room to refill her coffee cup in the teacher’s lounge, leaving you and him the only people in the room.

You felt your hands begin to shake at the impending doom of first period rolling around. You knew it was dumb; it’d been two years since the first-period-from-hell, and you still couldn’t shake your fear of home room. You clasped them together, folding your fingers on top of each other on the desk, trying to calm your breathing. Your heart pounded in your ears.

“Look, you can relax, okay,” Eddie’s annoyed voice beside you snapped you out of it. “I won’t bite.”

You looked over at him, his face looked impatient, though if you looked closely, you thought you could detect a little bit of hurt there too. Your eyebrows furrowed, before you realized what he must have been thinking.

He thought you were scared of him.

It made sense, though that was far from what was going through your head.

“No,” you began quietly, before clearing your throat. “That’s not what I—that’s not—that’s not it.”

“Whatever you say,” he mumbled, eyebrows raised as he continued writing.

That was the day it started. The watching him.

It’d begun as a way of coping; a way to distract yourself from Ms. Taylor’s droning on about Shakespeare, or the whispers of the two mean girls who sat at the front and liked to glance back at you and snicker.

Your therapist had mentioned the method to you a few months before, a way to maybe cope with your anxiety in anticipation with the upcoming school year. It was a method that your shrink had described as a way of ‘hyper-focusing’, or concentrating on one thing until the anxiety wore away.

And in the haze of your first day, you’d focused on Eddie.

But eventually, as the year wore on, it developed into something different.

You began to notice his hair; how it would fall over his face as he frowned in concentration at whatever he was writing in that book. His hands, big and flanked with gaudy silver rings. You began to wonder how they’d feel on your skin, running through your hair, over your stomach.

It was almost a type of game you played with yourself; a form of escapism. On days your anxiety got too much, the days your hands would sweat and your feet couldn’t cease their tapping, you could look beside you and focus on Eddie. And it would all fall away.

You supposed that’s why you kept your little obsession a secret; it was embarrassing.

Not the fact that you were infatuated with him, but the fact that you’d been using practically a complete stranger to talk yourself down from anxiety attacks. You hadn’t even told Robin, the person you shared everything with. And somewhere in the back of your mind, you knew that this wasn’t some little crush or admiration—it was more than that.

But you refused to admit that to yourself, because there was one huge, glaring problem. That being that Eddie Munson hated you. You were sure of it.

It was as if after the awkward encounter you’d shared at the beginning of the year, he avoided you like the plague. Not looking, talking, or even so much as breathing your way once. And the one time when you’d gotten the nerve to ask him a question, he’d barely grunted out a response before the had rung and he was gone.

That had been the first and last time you’d attempted to talk to Eddie Munson. Your crush was doomed, you knew it. Not only were you convinced he couldn’t stand you, you also were almost positive that he still thought you were scared of him, like he did at the beginning of the year.

Which, to be fair, you were. Just not in that way. As far as Eddie was concerned, you were scared of him in the judgy, superficial, ill-intentioned way that the rest of Hawkins was, not in the butterflies, tongue-tied, make-your-hands-sweat way that you truly were.

Besides, even if you were the most confident person in the world (you were far from it), and if Eddie didn’t, for some inexplicable reason, hate you, you were sure that you would have absolutely no chance with him anyway. Because why would Eddie Munson, all crooked smiles and sure steps and kind eyes, be even the least bit interested in you? It was inconceivable. Because you were shy and scared and binary and everything he was not.

So, you’d deduced that you were doomed to wait out this life-ruining crush the same way you’d been doomed to wait out countless other things in your high school life: silently.

- - - - -

Today was no different than the other nearly insufferable first periods you’d endured this school year, aside from the fact that today was Monday, which brought with it a more tired you, and a much, much more irritable Ms Taylor.

She’d assigned two detentions so far this period, to Bradley Green and Doug Mitchell, two boys from the basketball team that had been throwing spitballs and harassing Eddie, who merely smirked at them in response, effectively egging them on.

You glanced at the clock, tapping your foot subconsciously on the off-white tile below your feet.

5 minutes left, you reminded yourself, watching the clock tick down. Your hands started to clam up. Perfect.

You let out a shaky breath. A few rows in front of you, Pam Simpson and Diana Fiorelli glanced back, eyes zeroing in on you, before Pam snickered and leaned over to whisper into Diana’s ear.

This wasn’t new; they always had some off-color remark or an unnecessary eye-roll to throw at you ever since they found out about your close friendship with Steve Harrington, former king of Hawkins High.

How two nerds like yourself and Robin Buckley had managed to bag someone as popular as Steve the hair Harrington as a best friend seemed to be beyond them, and they sought everyday to punish you for it.

The truth was: Steve had left all of that behind. From the wake-up call that was his break-up with Nancy, to the whole fighting-monsters-from-another-dimension thing, he didn’t really care about it anymore. He’d found better friends in you guys. The whole Russians-in-Hawkins, and Starcourt “fire” helped too.

It was true what they said about trauma: it brought people together.

You tried to ignore their whispering, like Robin had encouraged you.

She was absolutely livid when she’d found out that Diana had “accidentally,” spilled her yogurt parfait over your new blouse last week. It had taken a whole five minutes of both you and Steve talking her down from her stupor to stop her from marching straight to the gymnasium, interrupting cheer practice, and giving Diana a black eye. After though, when you’d managed to calm your best friend down, she’d gone off—trying to convince you to stick up for yourself, to say something. If not to the mean girls themselves, then to Ms Taylor at the very least.

But that was the difference between you and Robin; where she would act, you would listen. Remain passive. It was a trait that served you well when it came to retaining information or solving upside-down-related issues, in situations like these, it kind of screwed you over.

You turned your head from the front of the classroom, blocking out Ms Taylor’s lecture on T. S. Elliot and instead turning your head to the desk beside yours. Eddie’s desk.

He was hunched over, head on his hands, which were crossed and folded on top of the desk in front of him. His chin rested there, and his dark eyes were focused on the board, squinting, as if trying to make out what it said.

He seemed to be trying to pay attention, a stark contrast to how you usually saw him hunched over around his worm notebook, scribbling or drawing.

He wore dark blue jeans today, instead of his usual black ones, and a Quiet Riot band T-shirt . His leather jacket was draped over the chair behind him, as Ms Taylor’s room was hot today. His hair fell messily over his back and in front of his face. His ringed fingers tapped on the desk—he was evidently as anxious for the class to end as you were.

You knew he had trouble focusing. You’d picked up on as much throughout the school year, watching him try and try and try to stay locked in to whatever Ms Taylor was teaching.

So many of your classmates had written him off: cult leader, satanist, idiot, freak, but you saw something different. The Eddie you knew (well, not really knew, more like observed) was none of those things. He was different, yes. Flamboyant, sure. But he was not an idiot. Nor was he evil or freakish or anything of the sort.

The ringing of the bell snapped you from your thoughts. You jerked your head back to your desk as your classmates began to pack up and bustle out to their next classes, the sound of backpacks zipping and chatter filling the classroom.

Per usual, Eddie was the first out of his seat, already packed and ready, before leaving the classroom with long strides, eyes trained on the floor, narrowly avoiding your gaze.

You shoved your notebook into your bag, bending over to zip it up and run like hell out of the classroom. You hoped to avoid any unnecessary contact with Pam and Diane. Ms Taylor cleared her throat, before saying your name.

“I’d like to see you for a moment, please,” she said monotonously, eyes focused on the grade book in front of her. A shot of anxiety spread through your stomach.

“Yes, Ms Taylor?” You asked quietly, noting that you were the only two people left in the classroom.

“You have one of the top grades in the class, second only to Mr. Levy, did you know that?” She asked, still not looking up. You puzzled. So you weren’t in trouble?

“Uh-I-no, I didn’t, actually.” You mumbled, brows furrowed.

“Indeed,” she hummed. “I also have been made aware that you are lacking an extracurricular for graduation, is that correct?”

Shit, you thought. She was right.

Last summer, you’d been set to take a summer gym elective; the ones that the school offered during the school year were too crowded and made your anxiety act up, so you and Robin had both signed up to take summer gym. However, the upside-down and the Russians’ presence in Hawkins at Starcourt had had other plans, so both you and her had failed the class, due to bad attendance. And while Robin had made sure to complete her gym credit last semester, you’d completely forgotten about the whole debacle until now.

“Yeah,” you breathed, in shock that you’d managed to forget about something so important when graduation was only months away. “I-I forgot—“

“I figured as much,” Ms Taylor cut you off, finally looking up at you. “Well, seeing as it’s too late in the semester to sign you up for any electives, it would seem that you’ll be having to repeat your senior year.”

Your breath left your lungs.

No, you thought, no, no, no. The last thing you could handle was another year stuck here. In this high school, in this city. You felt your breathing stutter at the thought.

“Luckily for you,” Ms Taylor continued, refocusing you on the moment. “I have a solution that may just save you from that.”

You blew out a breath between your lips, looking at her anxiously.

“Yes,” you breathed out. “Anything— I completely forgot about—“

“I trust you’re familiar with Mr. Munson?” She interrupted you. Your brows furrowed. What did Eddie have to do with this?

“Yes.”

“Well, then I’m sure you’re aware that this will be his second time repeating his senior year.” Ms Taylor looked up at you now, her beady eyes laser-focused. “If he fails again, the school won’t be giving him another chance. It would seem that this class is one of the only things standing between him and a one-way ticket out of this school.”

“I dont think I follow—“ you began.

“You will tutor Mr Munson.” She clarified, face stoic as ever. “From now until the end of the spring semester. If you do this, and if I see improvement, I will make it count as your extracurricular. You’ll be able to graduate on time, and he will get the hell out of my classroom for good.”

You were stunned—not only by the fact that you’d be forced into proximity Eddie Munson for the rest of the year, but the fact that Ms Taylor would speak so candidly about a student.

“I—I-“ you tried to articulate what to say next, but found you were unable to gather your thoughts.

“I can’t,” you finally managed, dumbly. Ms Taylor raised a thin eyebrow at you.

“Well,” she said. “It seems that unless you want to repeat your senior year, you don’t have much of a choice.”

“But, Ms Taylor, I—“

“Look,” she sighed your name. “You’re a smart girl. Mr Munson may be… a handful, but I promise he’s harmless. You will be fine. You can even meet on the school premises, if you’d feel better about that.”

Dear Lord, you didn’t know how to tell her that the reason why you couldn’t tutor him was not because of his reputation, or that you were scared of him, it was because you could barely form a coherent thought in his presence.

“Are we clear?” She asked, arms crossed. You tried to speak, but your mouth was dry. You just gulped and nodded.

“Good,” she smiled tightly. You sighed, turning to leave, already knowing you’d be late to your next class. She called your name as you began to exit, your hand on the door handle.

“Just know, I will be checking weekly with Mr Munson to see how tutoring is going. So don’t think that if you fail to show up I won’t know.”

You nodded, shutting the door behind you as you left.

Great. No escaping it. What if you embarrassed yourself? What if he really did hate you? What if—

“Hey.”

You jumped, too caught up in your thoughts to even notice the tall, lanky figure leaning up against the lockers next to Ms Taylor’s classroom.

“Jesus, sorry.” Eddie looked at you with wide eyes, an arm coming to steady you on your shoulder. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

When you just stared at him, he cleared his throat, removing his hand from your shoulder. A part of you mourned the loss.

“So, uh,” he began, looking down at his feet as he walked alongside you. You tried not to notice the faint scent of his cologne that sent a thrill through your gut. “So I guess she told you? About the tutoring?”

When his curly head snapped up to meet your eyes, you quickly faced forward, realizing that you’d been ogling his side profile while he was stumbling over his words. You nodded in confirmation.

“Ok,” he said, rubbing his hands on his legs. “Ok,” he repeated, stopping and turning to face you. “I’m just gonna cut the bullshit: I really, really need the help in this class.” His eyes were a bit wild, panicked. Like he thought you were going to run away from him the moment you got a chance. “Like, ‘really,’ as in, if I don’t pass, I don’t graduate. And I know you really don’t wanna do this, and she’s forcing you, and that you hate me, and you’re scared of me, and all that, but if you could please—please— just help me get through this class, I will make it as painless as possible spending all the time with me.”

By the end of his little speech, he looked frantic, like he was pleading—and you suppose he was. And before you could stop yourself, you just nodded, looking at him dumbly, before remembering to speak.

“I’ll help you pass.” Was all you could manage.

He sighed a breath of relief, running a hand down his face.

“Thank you,” he said, and you could’ve sworn it was the most sincere you’d ever heard him. “Thursday after school in the library sound good?”

- - - -

You arrived early, because, of course you did.

To say you were nervous would be an understatement; you were terrified. Mostly of making an even bigger fool of yourself than you had earlier in the week.

You’d spent the better part of the last three days poring over your last interaction with Eddie in the hallway, when he’d begged you to tutor him, and you’d gotten about five words in edgewise.

He’d practically accused you of hating him, and instead of correcting him—like you’d been dying to do for the whole semester—you stood there like an idiot.

You wished you’d told him then and there in that hallway that he was wrong; that you weren’t scared of him, and that you didn’t hate him. That you were just shy and awkward and he unnerved you. So, you decided to do just that.

Last night, while finally talking through the whole situation with Robin, you’d decided that the first words you’d say to him would be: “I’m not scared of you and I don’t hate you.”

It was a bit abrasive and to-the-point, you knew that. But, you also knew that if you let him get a word in before that, you’d lose your nerve. At least this way, you got your point across.

Your eyes ran over the page of your book for what felt like the fiftieth time. You sighed, throwing the worn novel down on the table.

There was no way you’d be able to get any reading done, not with your nerves eating you alive.

The book wasn’t that good anyway. You had no clue what Robin meant when she said Hemingway was ‘profound.’

You sighed again, eyes finding the clock in the library.

He was five minutes late.

You felt something deflate inside you. Maybe he’d been bluffing about the whole thing, or maybe he’d changed his mind and wouldn’t show. Your mind ran with the possibilities.

The library was sparse at this time.

It was just past three, and most students had already rushed out of the building. It was Thursday, which meant that the town was just waking up for the weekend. It wasn’t uncommon for friend groups to have small get-togethers, or even for one of the bigger cliques to throw a party.

In fact, Steve had managed to convince Robin and yourself to attend one later that night. Which was a feat, because you didn’t make a habit of going out.

It was at Darren’s house: one of the few friends from high school that Steve actually kept up with after, y’know, everything.

Robin was hoping Vicky would be there. You were just hoping to let loose a little.

With all this business with Eddie and your impending (maybe) graduation, your nerves had been through the roof. A party was just what you needed to calm down.

“Sorry,” he appeared out of nowhere, and before you could stop yourself, you jumped.

“Sorry!” Eddie rushed out, slumping down in the chair across from you. “Really, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to scare you all the time. Sorry I’m late.”

You stared at him.

God, he was pretty.

His hair was big and frizzy, per usual, and fell around his face as a halo. His brown eyes were wide and almost doe -like, and his cheeks were rosy with exertion.

He must have been running, you thought. But why? He wasn’t that late.

“Were you running?” You blurted before you could think. Your brows furrowed as you looked at him.

“Uhhhh, yeah,” he drawled. “Yeah, I ran into some trouble getting here.”

“What trouble?”

“The usual.” Eddie rubbed his eyes, and for the first time since he’d sat down, you noticed how disheveled he looked.

His white tee shirt was stained on the shoulder with what looked like… fruit?

“Is that… food on your shoulder?”

“Shit,” his gaze snapped to his shoulder. “Yeah, uhm. It’s jello.”

Eddie looked… embarrassed. For the first time in the time you’d known him, he looked sheepish.

“Was it Jason?”

“That obvious?” He laughed mirthlessly. In fact, it was a little menacing.

“He’s a dick.” You said without thinking.

Eddie just nodded, staring down a place on the table.

“Are you okay?”

He looked at you, dark eyes guarded.

He seemed to be sizing you up, eyes following you up and down. But his usual playfulness was gone. Instead, he looked almost… forlorn.

“Uh, yeah.” His lips lifted into a humorless smile. “Just done with this bullshit, I guess.”

“Hmm,” you hummed.

“I’m tired of people looking at me like I’m a freak. I’m tired of not behind able to fucking walk to class in peace, I’m tired of people being fucking,” he slammed his hands on the table in front of you. When you jump, he throws them up. “Scared of me!”

You stay silent for a moment, letting him stew and collect himself. After a few seconds, Eddie sighs.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t—“

“I’m not scared of you, and I don’t hate you.”

“—mean to—what?”

“I’m not scared of you.” You repeated, wiping your clammy hands on your jeans. “And I don’t hate you, like you said on Monday. I’m Im just,” you stopped to take a breath. “It’s just hard for me sometimes. With… new people.”

“You sure? Because you look scared to me.”

“You aren’t helping.”

Eddie shivered, rubbing at the jello-colored stain on his shoulder.

“Do you… want to change?” You asked shakily.

“What?”

“Nevermind,” you rushed out, shaking your head. “It’s nothing. You just—looked cold. I have an extra sweatshirt.”

“And you think it would fit me?”

“I like to wear them a few sizes too big.” You added lamely.

Eddie contemplated you for a moment, before sighing.

“What the hell,” he said half to himself. “Why not?”

After he pulled the lilac crew neck over his head, he smiled.

“Okay,” he chuckled. “I’m sorry. Thank you for doing this. I know it can’t be great for your…image.”

You snorted at that.

“Yeah, my image isn’t exactly suffering.”

“Yeah?” He leaned forward, setting his chin on his fists.

God, his forearms. You forced yourself to look away.

“Yeah. Not exactly prom queen here.”

“Eh, prom queen is overrated.”

You laughed, your own crinkling eyes meeting his. You thought you saw his eyes soften as they looked at you. The vision of him there, in front of you, made your stomach flip.

You cleared your throat, turning to your notes in front of you.

“So,” you straightened your notebook. “Ready to talk about T. S. Elliot?”

- - - -

The party was loud. Mötley Crüe boomed through the speakers that Darren’s rich family had in what seemed like every room.

You silently thanked Darren for having good music taste. The party would have been unbearable otherwise.

You sighed as you walked out the back door of the house. The inside had gotten a bit too stuffy for you, and with Robin trailing after Vickie and Steve reconnecting with one of his old flames, you were flying solo for the time being.

You brushed your jeans with your hands before sitting down on the back step, a lukewarm rum and coke in the solo cup in your hand.

You felt yourself deflate.

As a senior in high school, this was the closest you’d come to actually living.

While Robin had had her fair share of secret flings and parties and Steve had lived a wild four years of high school, you were just… there.

At eighteen years old, you felt like you’d missed out. Been robbed. The Upside Down had something to do with that, you supposed. Fighting for your own and the kids’ lives from Russians and other-worldly demon creatures tends to do that. Still, it didn’t stop your friends from living. You felt like you’d let your teen years pass you by, but mostly, you felt pathetic.

Sure, you had the grades, but rather than that? You had nothing to show for your time at Hawkins High.

“Hey tutor,” the smooth drawl came from the side of the house. You’d know it anywhere.

Eddie rounded the corner of the house, approaching where you were sitting on the back step.

He wore the same black jeans he wore earlier today, but his jello-stained shirt and your lilac crew neck were gone, replaced by a t-shirt with what looked like Judas Priest’s logo. His arms were crossed over his chest, covered by the black leather he wore more often than not.

“Hey,” you offered lamely, rubbing your hands together.

“What ya doing out here all alone?” He came to stop in front of you, his chunky combat boots taking up your line of vision.

“Just…taking a breather.” You smiled up at him, tight-lipped.

“Hmm,” he hummed. “Scoot over, then. It’s a little too… preppy for me in there.”

You obliged, scooting over a few feet so he could sit next to you. As he dropped down on the concrete step next to you, he was close enough that you caught his scent.

It was deep, some kind of cologne, mixed with cigarette smoke and a hint of what you knew was weed.

“So…” Eddie bumped his shoulder into yours. “Thought this wasn’t your crowd?”

“It’s not,” you pressed your hands between your knees. “Robin and Steve dragged me here. I thought it would help me… unwind.”

“Robin… she’s in band right?”

You nodded.

“And Steve… I don’t think I know that one.”

You chuckled.

“You definitely do,” you peeked over at him, eager to see his reaction. “Uh, Steve Harrington?”

Eddie looked at you like you grew a second head.

“The hair?” He asked incredulously.

“The very same,” you nodded.

“God, sweetheart.” Eddie shook his head. “I’m beginning to question the company you keep.”

Your heart leapt at what he called you. Sweetheart.

“I know, I know,” you held out your hands. “He was an asshole. But he’s different now.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“He is!” You turned to Eddie defensively. “I wouldn’t be friends with him if he was still the way he used to be. He isn’t like…”

“Jason?” Eddie raised an eyebrow at you. “Like Pam and Diana?”

“Exactly.” You nodded. “He’s still… peppy. He just lost all the bad parts.”

“Hmm,” he crossed his arms. “I’ll take your word for it.”

A moment of silence passed between the two of you, the only sounds being your breath and the roar of the party inside. Your breaths swirled in the chilly air around you.

“Why are you here?” You spoke finally. “You said this wasn’t your scene.”

“It’s not,” he shrugged, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a little baggy filled with green substance. “I’m, uh, supplying the party favors.”

You snorted at that.

“These things good business?”

“You have no idea.” He nodded to the inside of the house. “A lot of these kids’ allowance is more than what my uncle makes in a week.”

You hummed, content to just sit in silence.

Eddie tilted his head at you, leaning his chin on his hands again like he did earlier in the library. He tilted his cheek toward you, an easy smile on his lips.

“So, why are you really out here, tutor-girl?” He looked at you curiously. “You look upset.”

You drew a heavy breath, before sighing.

“It’s dumb.” You picked at your nails.

“Try me.”

“I feel like..” you looked up, before turning to Eddie. “I feel like I’ve missed out. I’m a senior, I’m graduating this year, and I have done nothing.”

Eddie’s eyebrows furrow, but he doesn’t move to interrupt you. He only leans further toward you, spurring you to continue. The alcohol gave you the rest of the confidence you lacked.

“All my friends have had their little rebellions. Their flings, all of it. And I have done nothing, except drink shitty booze and nearly lose my mind.”

You blew a deep breath once you’d finished. Somehow, you felt even worse—more pathetic—now that you’d vocalized it.

But Eddie didn’t look at you like you were pathetic. Instead, he looked pensive, hand on his chin as he contemplated. It was your instinct to backtrack.

You moved to stand

“Sorry. That was a lot. Nevermind. Let’s just forget I—“

“No, no, don’t apologize.” He grabbed your arm and gently pulled you back to sit beside him. “Especially after what I dumped on you earlier.”

Your cheeks were red, you could tell. Whether that be because of the combination of the alcohol and the confession, you couldn’t tell.

“Hmm,” Eddie hummed, still thinking. You snuck a glance over at him and noticed a wry smile on his face. “Let’s fix it then.”

“What?”

“We have til May, don’t we? That’s eight months. Your senior year isn’t over yet.”

You laughed nervously.

“I couldn’t ask you to do that—“

“You’re not! I’m offering. Consider it payback for all the hours you’ll be tutoring me in Taylor’s class.”

“Okay…”

“Okay.” Eddie smiled. “It’s a deal, then .”

#eddie x fem!reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie stranger things #eddie x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #stranger things fic #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things 4 #stranger things #steve harrington #robin buckley #hawkins indiana #eddie munson fem!reader #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction

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jmdbjk · 4 months

Text

Episode 2: Adolescence

Beyond the Star, produced by HYBE Media Studio

They begin by conveying how important concerts are for them. Concerts. Not performances. Concerts.

They thought they “made it” in 2016 when they booked the Olympic Gymnastics Arena for a concert. It was the dream venue for idols at the time and are amazed they are performing there and never imagined they’d have a concert that big.

During the interviews where they are expressing their thoughts about what performing during concerts means to them, we see footage of different concerts illustrating what they are trying to explain.

Hobi harkens back to their first concert in October 2014 for The Red Bullet tour, at Seoul’s AX Korea with 6,000 in attendance. He says they didn’t care about how many hundreds or thousands were there, they were just so thankful for the fans who came to see them.

Attendance rose at each progressive concert. Their fourth concert in 2015 had 13,500 in attendance at the Seoul Olympic Handball Gymnasium, and their fifth concert in May 2016 at the Olympic Gymnastics Arena, mentioned at the beginning of this episode, had 25,000 in the audience. They were in awe at how huge it was when they first arrive at that venue, looking out at the empty seats before they began rehearsing.

They were always so emotional during their ending ments, so thankful for what they were experiencing after knowing how hard they’d worked from debut up until the end of each one of those concerts.

In the early years, the hearts of those young men were bursting with passion and to see so many fans supporting them had to be an overwhelming relief, its no surprise their emotions overflowed.

Though they finally saw their hard work being appreciated, the joy was tempered with having to deal with pushback.

One of the things I noticed that was not mentioned yet in Episode 1 was how much pushback, bullying, negativity and hate they received from their peers and other fans outside their team and company from the very first day.

Working their asses off to fulfill their dreams while being faced with all that makes it even more amazing that they stuck with it.

It was them against the entire kpop industry. We all know how much BTS is hated by other kpop fandoms. We see it daily on the X timeline. The jealousy is real, it's destructive and it's dangerous.

BTS is untouchable now but in 2013, Jungkook was 15 years old. A CHILD! Jin was 20! BigHit had no money. There was a point after debut when they were asked to move out of the dorm because the company couldn't afford it anymore. Underdogs is an understatement, truly what the hell did they think they were doing up against all these established kpop groups, their fandoms and the big 3 companies?

Now, in Episode 2, we start to hear how the guys handled all this. For some of them, they did not handle it very well. Namjoon talks about his panic attacks and how he avoids the internet and going online during a song/album release.

In Episode 1 we saw Hobi and Jin so thrilled and excited, anxiously waiting and monitoring online their very first album release at midnight on June 13, 2013 and for Namjoon to tell us now he can’t enjoy the thrill of that is so devastating to me.

When an artist sends their art out into the world, it is like a living part of themselves, an extension of themselves that they lay bare to the world. The visceral reaction of panic when seeing people hate you for it…and the amount of courage it takes to ignore that and keep going and make more art to release into the world…I challenge anyone to show me they have THAT amount of courage.

And I implore you to understand the depths these guys LOVE their fans ESPECIALLY BEFORE THEY WERE BIG to keep doing it in spite of the hate.

Yoongi was incredibly diplomatic when he says “we had a lot of unreasonable controversies.” I would have said "we had a lot of total fucking bullshit that meant nothing thrown at us by a bunch of stupid butt hurt people." There, I fixed it for you, Yoongi.

They had a ludicrous amount of people gunning for them, hating them for being successful, hating them for being different. Jealousy drives people to do the most hateful things.

Jimin says, “having to deny the bad rumors was always so upsetting.”

Namjoon recieved death threats during the Red Bullet Tour. Early on they were accused of chart manipulation because they sold so many albums. This is the company had no money, there was no money to spend on chart manipulation!

They were accused of plagiarism and brought to court and were exonerated because it wasn't true.

Jimin received death threats at the end of the Wings Tour.

Being the humans that they are, with feelings and emotions, Yoongi says they and the fans were getting desperate and spiteful in the face of all this backlash and hate.

The fan song “2! 3!” was an anomaly. It is somewhat somber for a song dedicated to fans. Most fan songs are light and cheery. But this song fit the emotions BTS was experiencing and bonded them closer with their fans and was again, another instance of the members being sincere and genuine in their expressions.

The emotional scenes of BTS standing on stage, Army singing the lyrics back at them, waving their purple plastic bagged Army bombs, has to be one of the best memories for them. A truly bonding moment between artist and fan.

December 2016, Mnet Asian Music Awards, they win Artist of the Year. It is their first major award. Yoongi says “in a movie, the ending credits are supposed to roll at this point.”

They’ve reached the top… as they knew it. End of story... 2016? Nope.

Early the next year while they were on the Wings Tour, they were told they were going to the United States for the Billboard Music Awards. No other Korean act had ever done that before. They had no expectations for that trip. They had no idea what they were supposed to do when they got there.

It’s kinda cute seeing them prepare and wondering what to expect. They are so young and you can tell they are trying to figure out if they’re supposed to try to emulate the image of a western pop star.

When they get out of the van at the red carpet event, they all look around the back of the van to the other side of the street and see the fans screaming at them. They knew who the real fans were and they wondered what everyone else thought: perhaps people were just curious about who they were.

Namjoon wonders how different it may have been had they, the members, been a little more culturally proficient, meaning at that time, they were inexperienced, naive and ignorant about the impact they were making. It was all a big wonder to them at that point. They were thinking “do they even know who we are?”

Then they win Billboard’s Social Artist award, not a major award but still, it had been won by Justin Bieber for many years prior and now it was BTS’ opportunity to kick in the door. And they did. With all seven pairs of feet. Western artists began to take note and wanted to collaborate with them. The thorn in the western music industry's side had arrived in the form of this team of 7 and their fans.

Yoongi thought it was a one-off token award, but then they were invited to perform at the AMA’s. They can’t believe they’ve made it that far.

They are soaring and going places they never imagined they’d go. Everything seemed like a fairytale, the success, the adulation, the global attention…

But it was happening too fast, their young minds, their emotional development and sense of self never had a chance to mature and catch up to their work load and the pressures and expectations their image and success placed on them. They never had a chance to stop and assess themselves personally and consider if this level of fame was something they even wanted.

Literally, they never. stopped. working. When they say "we just kept running forward" that is not a euphemism, it is literal.

As soon as one event, concert, appearance, fan meet, photo shoot, shooting Run BTS, music shows, whatever was over, it was on to the next one...from plane to hotel to venue back to hotel back to plane, to be repeated over and over.

In mid-2017, by the time they talked about resting for a while, it was perilously close to being too late. They still had the rest of the Wings Tour to complete through December. Some of them had already considered quitting. Some did not possess the confidence to endure the burden. Some of them wondered if pausing was the right thing since they were doing so well.

They were confused by how they could be feeling like this after they’d worked so hard to get to this point.

The title of this episode is "Adolescence" and it pertained not only to the members who were just emerging from it and their careers that had gotten past the starting line and now riding an almost out of control rocket to stardom. It also was a point in time for the company trying to get its feet under it, for its leader Bang PD trying to steer this team, to figure out how to manage this worldwide sensation they'd created.

Bang PD had to learn how to deal with his team's enormous success as he watched them begin to burn out. He embraced a philosophy of focusing on the importance for an artist to have autonomy and be happy as a person which was not a thing in the kpop industry at that time. He was worried about their mental well being and their happiness. He suggested a break.

They knew there was an "end" coming eventually. End of contract, military... et al. They pondered the inability to enjoy the fruits of their hard work and that it couldn't "end" with them being unhappy.

We know in 2018 they renegotiated their contracts.

For a group as close as they were, as committed as they were to their careers and to each other, they had to come together and discuss how they were feeling while being burned out, they had to admit to each other they wanted to quit. We don’t know the nitty-gritty details of how it went down but they worked through it and re-committed to each other and their team.

They didn’t give up and that tells me not a single one of them are quitters.

My own personal thoughts are that they recognized they needed to stop at that specific point in time and regroup. They knew enlistment was coming eventually and the typical life-cycle of a kpop group had been about 7 years when idols aged and younger ones took their place. But they'd reached places in the stratosphere that none other had before. I think they paused, recalibrated and actually let themselves seriously think of a future after enlistment that would allow them to keep up this level of success, to keep pushing boundaries...and therefore they re-evaluated what was in that contract to include things that ensured their well-being so they could grow. That new contract was set to expire this year, well after Jin was supposed to be back from the military and most likely all of them. I am curious to know what that original 2018 contract planning included...

Anyway, I accidentally rambled a lot adding extra context and my own thoughts while watching this episode.

Review of Episode 3 next…

#bts beyond the star #jimin #jungkook #jin #taehyung #namjoon #hobi #yoongi

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merrybloomwrites · 8 months

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You Can Start a Family (Extra: Sickfic Part 1)

Summary: Y/N gets sick and Mitch, Sarah, and Harry take turns doting on her.

Previous Chapters: One ; Two ; Three ; Four ; Five ; Six ; Seven ; Eight ; Nine ; Ten

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Grabbing extra blankets, you bundle deep under the covers of your otherwise empty bed. You hope that your cats will join you soon so you’re not completely alone.

It’s not like you have other people in bed with you every single night. Since you started dating Mitch and Sarah earlier in the year, and added Harry to the relationship three months prior, you’ve spent a decent amount of time alone. One might think that wouldn’t be the case with two boyfriends and a girlfriend, but they’re busy people.

Harry has been writing his next album, traveling twice for writing retreats with his collaborators to minimize distractions. On top of that he’s had meetings, photoshoots, and other projects that require him to be away from you for days at a time.

Meanwhile, Mitch’s album had dropped just a couple weeks prior, and he and Sarah were busy promoting that.

All in all, you were very used to sleeping alone. But for some reason you were really missing them tonight. They had all been home for just three days before they had to fly out to Los Angeles to prepare and rehearse for Harryween.

It had been a somewhat last-minute decision to actually do Harryween this year, since tour had ended a few months before. But the venue was open and most of the band was available, and they knew tickets would sell out immediately, so they decided to pull the trigger and go for it.

That meant that they needed to fit in all of the prep work the week right before Halloween, leaving you alone at home for days. They had left Sunday morning, and since it’s now Tuesday, it’s your third night without them.

You only need to make it until Thursday, and Mitch will be back for a couple of meetings, and then you’ll fly to LA with him for the two shows at the start of the following week.

Knowing that it’s only two more lonesome nights would normally help you, but for some reason you just feel so alone tonight. The bed feels too big and empty and cold. You are cold, freezing, bone deep cold. It isn’t even that chilly out, a mild fall evening.

It’s early to get in bed, not even 9 PM, but you feel exhausted. You wish you could just call them, but you know with the 3-hour time difference that they’re definitely still rehearsing, probably not even taking their dinner break for another hour.

You settle for playing their music, your go to when you just need to hear their voices to feel them close to you. It doesn’t take long before you fall asleep.

The blaring alarm wakes you the next morning, and even though you slept over nine hours, you’re still tired. You go to say good morning to the cats who joined you at some point in the night, and your voice comes out groggy. You clear your throat which only leads to a coughing fit. It doesn’t last long, and you’re fine while you get ready for work, so you figure it was probably just a tickle and not a big deal.

Wednesday is the same as Tuesday, most of your days truly blending together. You take a bath after dinner, hoping it will help the new aches in your joints that bothered you all afternoon, and you nearly fall asleep in the water. If it weren’t for your phone ringing, you definitely would have been out cold within a minute.

You dry your hands and grab the phone, checking who it is before answering.

“Hello,” you say, and notice your voice once again sounds a little rough.

“Hi love,” Sarah replies. “I’ve only got a minute, but I wanted to check in. I miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

“What are you up to?”

“Decided to relax tonight, currently taking a bath.”

“Is that so? Wish we could facetime,” Sarah says cheekily.

You laugh at how forward she can sometimes be and reply, “Get your mind out of the gutter Jones!”

“I know, I just wish I could see my beautiful girl.” You blush at these words as she continues, “How are you? You sound a little hoarse.”

“Yea, I’m okay. Not sure why I sound like this. It happened this morning and just came back. Maybe it’s allergies, the ragweed is pretty bad this time of year.”

“Okay, well just let me know if you get worse. Maybe do a covid test to be safe?”

“That’s a good idea. I’ll do one in the morning before Mitch comes home. Last thing I want is to spread something to you guys before the shows next week.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” she reassures. “But always good to check.”

You’re about to ask how she and the others are doing, see if she could put Harry and Mitch on the call for a minute but before you can ask, she says, “Oh, I’ve got to go, we’re starting again. There’s a new transition that we’re struggling with a bit, so we’ve got to work on that more.”

“You guys will get it, you’re the most talented band out there.”

“Thank you, my love. Sleep well tonight, let me know how you’re feeling in the morning.”

“I will keep you posted. I love you.”

“I love you too. Good night.”

“Good night,” you say, and the call is ended.

You sit for a moment, your apartment feeling extra quiet again. It takes all of your energy to get out of the tub and finish getting ready for bed. It’s difficult to adjust to the cool air after the hot bath, and you quickly burrow into the pile of blankets you left on the bed, sighing in relief at the warmth they offer. Like the previous night you play music and immediately fall asleep.

The alarm is even louder than usual the next morning, and it hurts to open your eyes. You go to sit up and realize that everything in your body hurts. You take a deep breath to collect yourself, but that has the opposite effect. The second you breathe in you begin to cough, and it feels like minutes pass before you get it under control.

Forcing yourself out of bed you remember the conversation with Sarah the previous night and decide the first thing to do is take a covid test. You do that and as you wait the 15 minutes for the result you make a cup of tea and get dressed. You’re not sure yet if you’re going to call out sick. As a nanny to a toddler, the last thing you want to do is go to work sick and pass it on to the child. You choose to wait for the test results before deciding.

The timer goes off and you see that it’s negative. You call Beth, the mom you work for, and fill her in, letting her decide if she’s comfortable with you being around her son that day.

After telling her your symptoms she says, “I’m okay with you being around Ryan, but if you’re not feeling well, you should stay home. Take a sick day and rest. I know it’s exhausting taking care of a toddler when you’re not under the weather, and much worse when you are.”

“I’m really not that bad,” you reply. It’s not a complete lie, you already feel slightly better than when you first got up. You had taken a pain reliever and it was helping your achy joints, plus you had only had one more minor coughing fit. You assure Beth that you’re well enough to work and that you’ll see her soon.

She fusses over you slightly when you get to her house, mothering you a bit to make sure you’re not worse than you say you are.

“Call me if you need anything. I can get a substitute or Michael can work from home and watch Ryan.”

“I will, I promise,” you say, locking the door behind her as she leaves.

You feel fine all morning, nothing more than a slight cough. Ryan takes an excellent nap halfway through the day, and you make the mistake of laying on the couch during it. The baby monitor is right next to you, ensuring that you’ll hear Ryan when he wakes up, and the white noise coming through the monitor lulls you into a light sleep.

Beth has told you before that it’s okay if you rest while he’s napping but you normally never do. Today though, you can’t fight it and your eyes slip shut.

After nearly three hours Ryan’s babbling wakes you up. It’s immediately obvious that your short nap was a bad idea, and you feel awful as you get off of the couch. Checking the time, you note that Beth will be home in two hours and tell yourself you can push through to the end of the day, maybe with a little help from Bluey.

You’re relieved when Beth walks through the door, having gotten worse throughout the afternoon. She again dotes on you as only a mother can and tells you to take off the next day. You try to protest, since you’re already planning to be out for days the following week to travel to LA, but she won’t hear it.

“I will see you next Thursday. Not tomorrow. Rest. Get better so you can enjoy your boyfriend’s show.”

You smile and thank her before driving home. The second you enter your apartment you take off your shoes and climb into your bed. You don’t realize that you’ve fallen asleep until you jerk awake hearing the door open. You’re confused, and worried that someone is breaking in, but a moment later you hear Mitch calling out your name.

You try to shout out to him and let him know where you are, but as soon as you open your mouth you begin to cough. It’s even worse than the fit you’d had in the morning and Mitch rushes into the room, immediately rubbing your back to soothe you.

Finally, you start to catch your breath and you turn, curling into Mitch’s embrace as he wraps his arms around you.

“What’s wrong baby? Sarah said you didn’t sound great last night but this is worse than I expected.”

“It wasn’t this bad yesterday. It wasn’t even this bad when I got home earlier. I feel like shit.”

“What do you need?” he asks.

“I don’t know. This is helping though,” you say referring to him holding you. He squeezes you tighter for a moment and presses a kiss to the top of your head.

For a few minutes you stay like this until another coughing fit wracks your body. Mitch again rubs your back, his touch calming you even as you struggle to breathe. When you’re done coughing, he shifts so he can get off of the bed.

“Don’t leave, please,” you say, grabbing on to him.

“I just want to check if you have any medicine, I’ll be right back.”

“Please,” you say, refusing to let go if his arm. Deep down you know that you’re being clingy, but you can’t bring yourself to care in that moment.

“Okay, c’mere,” he says and gestures for you to wrap your limbs around him. Once you’re secure he carries you with him to the bathroom and places you down on the closed toilet lid. He opens the closet door and takes out the box of different medications you have in there.

“Have you taken anything yet?” he asks.

“I took some Tylenol earlier today, but it’s been a while.”

“Nothing for the cough?”

“No, it really wasn’t that bad before.”

“Okay, here, take this,” he says, handing you the small cup filled with cough syrup. You do as you’re told and he takes out the thermometer, holding it up to your head.

It beeps a moment later and he says, “Definitely a low-grade fever. How are you feeling?”

“I’ve had the chills, and I guess body aches.”

“Alright, you said it’s been a while since you had Tylenol?”

“Yea, I only took it this morning.”

“Here’s another dose, it’ll help with everything else.”

You take the medicine as instructed, too tired to even think and grateful that you have someone there to tell you what you need to do.

“Have you eaten today?” Mitch asks.

“Yea, I had a sandwich for lunch,” you answer.

“But no dinner?”

You shake your head no.

“Okay,” he replies. “I’m going to heat up some soup for us. Do you want to wait in bed or come with me?”

“With you,” you reply, holding out your arms so he’ll carry you again. He smiles at how adorable sick you is, and he picks you up with ease, loving having you in his arms.

He places you on one of the bar stools at the kitchen island and you rest your head on your arms as he gets food ready. Normally you’d be asking him how his flight was, how rehearsals had been going all week, but instead you just rest your eyes, comforted by the sounds of another person in the apartment with you for the first time in days.

A few minutes later Mitch places a bowl of chicken noodle soup in front of you. He sits on the stool next to yours with his own bowl and puts a sleeve of crackers between you two. You lift your head up and thank him before starting to eat. You’re feeling a little better now that the medicine has had time to work, and you’re able to finish your dinner.

As soon as you and Mitch are both done eating you rest your head on his shoulder.

“Bedtime?” he asks, and you nod your head yes.

He cleans up the dishes and the two of you head to the bathroom to get ready. You lean against Mitch as you brush your teeth, too tired to stand on your own. He keeps a firm arm around you, making sure you don’t fall, and leads you into the bedroom.

Once you’re both in bed you immediately move to lay on top of him, needing to be as close as possible.

“Is this okay?” you ask, and he replies, “Of course, baby. I’ve missed my human blanket.”

You smile and melt into the embrace, his arms wrapped around you, making you feel safer and more content than you have in days. It doesn’t take long before you once again fall into a deep sleep.

Mitch, however, stays awake for some time after you. It’s still fairly early, especially since he’s on west coast time. Once he’s sure you’re asleep he pulls out his phone, careful not to disturb you with his movement.

He sends a text in his group chat with Sarah and Harry, telling them about how sick you are. It’s obvious how worried they are in their replies and Mitch assures them that he plans to take you to the doctor in the morning if you’re not feeling better.

The moment he wakes up the next day he can tell something is wrong. He feels like he’s in an oven and he immediately realizes the heat is coming off of your body as you lay sprawled on him. Carefully he reaches over to the side table and picks up the thermometer to see what your temperature is.

He grimaces as it beeps loudly in the quiet room, but you remain asleep. He checks what it says and grows more worried. While yesterday you had a mild fever, it’s much higher now. Just as he puts the thermometer back down you suddenly wake up coughing.

Mitch helps you sit upright so you can breathe easier, and after it passes he hands you a glass of water, encouraging you to take small sips.

Your whole body is aching, and a violent shiver shoots through you.

“Baby, I think you should get checked by someone today, okay?”

You want to refuse, saying it’s not that bad, but you don’t have the energy to fight so you simply nod to agree.

The start of the morning is hazy. You and Mitch shower together so he can help you and make sure you don’t slip in your weakened state. You get dressed and throw your damp hair up into a bun and join Mitch in the kitchen for breakfast. A shower and food have done you some good, and you’re feeling more alert. You make an appointment with a doctor, happy to see an opening in just an hour.

Mitch insists on cancelling his morning meeting to go with you, but you tell him you’ll be fine. He concedes by just pushing it back a little bit so that he can drive you to your appointment.

As he drops you off he tells you for the hundredth time to text him with updates and let him know when you need to be picked up, reassuring you that he can leave his meeting if he needs to.

“I’ll be okay Mitch. I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself. I have for a while now.”

“I know you can, I just- we all just like to take care of you.”

“And I love that about the three of you. But I will be fine. Now go, I need to check in.” He grabs your hand for a moment and squeezes tightly before letting you go.

You go into the office and the woman at the front desk hands you the typical forms to fill out. After handing those back you wait for a little while, happy that you thought to bring a book. Focusing on that helps you not focus on how crappy you’re feeling.

Once in with the doctor you tell her your symptoms and she does her normal physical assessment.

“Well, there are a number of things this could be. We’ll test for covid, flu, strep. But, we’ve had a number of cases of fungal pneumonia recently, so I want to check you for that as well. Seems there could be something nearby that’s causing these infections.”

With that she sends you off to the lab next door where they do a number of tests, including a chest x-ray to know for sure what’s going on. You text Mitch to fill him in while you wait for the results.

You get called back into your doctor and she informs you that you do in fact have fungal pneumonia.

“I’m going to prescribe you itraconazole, an anti-fungal drug. You can continue taking cough medicine and acetaminophen to treat the symptoms of the infection.”

You nod to show you’re listening and ask, “Is it contagious?”

“No, fungal pneumonia is not contagious. To get it you need to come in contact directly with the spores. Did you visit the wetlands recently?”

“The one’s over near Creek Road?”

“Yes.”

“Yea, I went there Sunday afternoon. Why?”

“Most of the patients I’ve recently diagnosed with this have been there. There must be something on one of the trails that’s infecting people.”

You continue to nod, finding this mildly interesting. If you weren’t sick you’d probably find it fascinating, but you’re too tired to think about it too deeply. She asks about your hike, writing down the specific areas that you walked to send over to the rangers at the Wetlands so they can determine where the danger is.

“I’ve sent your prescription to the pharmacy you listed; it should be ready soon.”

“Thank you,” you say, and she leads you out of the room.

You sit in the waiting room and text Mitch that you’re done, and he tells you he’s outside, his meeting having finished a half hour prior.

The drive home is quiet, with a stop at the pharmacy to pick up your prescription. When you get back to the apartment you head straight for your bedroom, exhausted from the morning’s activities. Mitch joins you a few mimutes later, bringing lunch and your medicine with him.

He Facetimes Sarah as finish your food, and she and Harry answer. They ask how you’re feeling, and you shrug, too tired to come up with a full response. You take the medicine that Mitch gives you, and you fall asleep while they’re still on the phone, comforted by the sounds of their voices.

They stay on the call expressing their concern and Mitch assures them that he’s taking care of you. A few minutes later they hang up, and Mitch carefully cleans up lunch. He’s about to lay down next to you again when you wake up.

“Hey, how are you doing?” He asks.

“The same I guess. Don’t you have another meeting to be at?”

“Yea it’s in a little while, but I can cancel and stay home with you.”

“Mitch, really, I’ll be fine.”

“You sure?”

“Yes I’m sure! Go, you’ve got important stuff to do.”

“You’re important,” he replies.

You nearly respond sarcastically but instead you find yourself blushing at his words. He leans down to kiss you, and you’re very grateful that you’re not contagious and can still do this when sick. It’s the first kiss you’ve shared with him since Sunday, and it feels like home.

He pulls away, pressing a kiss to your head and gets ready for his meeting. He checks in with you again before leaving and you reassure that you have everything you need and plan to stay in bed watching movies the whole time he’s gone. He walks out of the room and comes back a minute later, one of your cats under each of his arms. Mitch places them on the bed with you, gives you a final kiss and a “love you” and leaves the apartment.

Mitch is gone for a movie and a half, walking in partway through the 2nd live action Scooby Doo.

He sees what you’re watching and looks almost guilty.

“What?” you ask after seeing his expression.

“I was on the phone with Sarah and Harry while I drove home. They’re concerned about you traveling when you’re not feeling well.”

Your first instinct is to immediately reply that they’re being ridiculous, that you’ll be fine. But instead, you say, “We have 2 full days until the flight to LA. Let’s just play it by ear and decide on Sunday, okay?”

“Okay, that’s fair,” he replies.

“And even if I’m not better by then I could always just fly out Tuesday. You guys will look silly without your Daphne!”

“I still can’t believe you convinced us all to have Scooby Doo as the costumes for Harryween.”

“I can’t believe you chose to be Scrappy Doo.”

“Well Pauli already claimed Scooby. What was I supposed to do?”

“Pick a normal villain from the show, like everyone else?”

“But I wanted to be a dog for Halloween!” he practically whines as he plops in the bed next to you.

You smile fondly, loving when you got to see this side of him. You weave your fingers through his hair and you’re both quiet for the rest of the movie.

Mitch dotes on you for the rest of the weekend, insisting that you do nothing other than rest and get better. He prepares food, brings you your medicine, and carries you with him whenever you’re feeling particularly clingy.

While you hate being sick, you love the excuse to slow down for a few days. Everything is always so hectic for the four of you, and a weekend of nothing but cuddles on the couch with comfort movies and shows in the background is nearly perfect. It would be completely perfect if Sarah and Harry were also there. And if you didn’t still feel like crap.

You slowly got better, and by Sunday morning you were confident that the anti-fungal medicine was working, and you were officially on the mend. It took a lot of convincing the others, but by Sunday afternoon you and Mitch were seated next to each other flying back to Los Angeles.

It’s late when you land, and you go directly to Harry’s place. He and Sarah are waiting outside and rush to the car to help with your bags. The boys bring the luggage inside and Sarah wraps an arm around your waist and walks with you.

You spend the first few minutes there telling everyone repeatedly that you’re fine, just a bit tired. And you’re telling the truth. Your fever is gone, the chills and body aches going with it, and you have only a mild cough. Even if you hadn’t been sick the last couple days you’d be tired after traveling coast to coast.

That night you sleep in between Harry and Sarah, Mitch on Sarah’s other side knowing the other two needed to feel you close to them.

You wake up in the middle of the night, knowing you’re about to have another coughing fit, and try to sneak out of bed so you don’t wake anyone. Unfortunately, Sarah is wrapped around you so tightly that you can’t escape. You start to cough, turning into the pillow to try and muffle the sound but the others wake up anyway.

They all fuss over you, Sarah rubbing your back in an attempt to soothe you. Finally, you stop coughing, but you keep your face pressed into the pillow. You don’t want them to see the tears in your eyes, knowing how much more worried they’ll be if they see that. You can’t help it though, between the breathlessness and the chest pain the coughing brings, your eyes have no choice but to water.

You try to calm yourself with some deep breaths, but that just causes you to start coughing again. This time you turn into Sarah, needing the comfort her hold brings you.

“Sorry,” you eventually say. “I didn’t mean to wake everyone up.”

“Are you okay, love?” Harry asks. “That didn’t sound good at all.”

“I’m okay, my lungs are just a bit irritated.”

“Are you in any pain?” He questions. You know he’s very familiar with lung issues, having dealt with asthma in the past, and you know that he’ll be able to tell if you’re lying.

“My chest hurts a bit, but it’s really not that bad.”

He gives you a look, like he doesn’t believe you, so you hold his hand and say, “I promise, it’s not that bad. It’s already getting better.”

“C’mere,” he says, pulling you to him. You straddle his lap, tucking your face into his neck. You melt into his embrace, loving the feeling of his strong arms wrapped around you. Even though you still feel sick, being surrounded by the three people you love fills you with warmth.

Somehow you fall asleep still sitting up with Harry holding you. When you wake up the next morning you’re still in that position. Harry is asleep beneath you, leaning back against the headboard.

The last thing you want is to wake him again, especially since there’s a show tonight. You open your eyes and see Mitch and Sarah are also sleeping, wrapped in each other’s arms. It’s a perfect start to the day, and you note that you feel much better than the last few days.

It’s not much later that everyone begins to stir. It’s already mid-morning but there’s enough time before they need to be at the venue, so no one is in any rush to get up. Sarah does demand that you switch to her lap, saying that everyone else has gotten more cuddles with you and it’s her turn. You go willingly; something about her soft embrace that comforts you immensely.

Eventually you do all get up to eat and shower before going together to the Forum. You stay backstage and get ready while they do soundcheck, wanting the set list to remain a surprise until the show. You love the group costume that was chosen for night 1, everyone dressing as their own version of Barbie or Ken, you included.

When the others get backstage they compliment you on your look and you smile bashfully at the attention. It’s a bit chaotic with everyone getting ready and having a quick dinner. Finally, you say good bye to the others, give Harry a kiss, and head to the floor to watch the show.

You don’t go out yet, knowing that the fans will notice you once you do, and you don’t want to give away the costume theme. As soon as the show officially begins you walk to the fenced off section for friends and family in the back of the pit.

You’re still not feeling 100%, and the lights and loud music are a bit disorienting, but you don’t let that show. This is your first time attending Harry’s concert as his official girlfriend, and you know that people are going to be watching you, judging you.

Even though you’re still a bit under the weather, you have a great time at the concert. You’re so happy that the set list was a surprise, and you know a fan nearby got your reaction to the start of Canyon Moon, one of your favorites that you hadn’t heard live before.

As always, harry puts on a perfect show. You love watching the fans and checking out all of their costumes. He does the whale to close out the concert and your face hurts from smiling so much. You feel exhausted, and look forward to getting home, but it was worth pushing through.

To no one’s surprise you fall asleep on Harry’s shoulder during the drive home. Sarah and Mitch are in a different car, since you had run out with Harry the second the show ended. You wake up at home, laying on the bed while Harry is taking your shoes off.

“Hi, lovey,” he says as you sit up, your legs dangling off the end of the bed with Harry standing between them. You reach your arms up, placing your hands on his face and gently pulling so he knows to lean down. As soon as he’s close enough you press your lips to his in a sweet kiss.

“Hi baby,” you say once you break the kiss. “You did great tonight.”

“Yea? Liked the show?”

“Loved it. Always do.”

He smiles at that, dimples popping out on each cheek. “How are you feeling?” he asks.

“Good. Sleepy, but otherwise I feel fine.”

“That’s a relief,” he replies. “Hated seeing you sick. Hated knowing you were sick, and I couldn’t be there to make you feel better.”

“Well, I feel much better now. All healed up.”

He flashes his dazzling smile again, and you pull him in for another kiss.

“Let’s get ready for bed,” he says as he breaks the kiss a minute later.

The two of you are halfway through your nighttime routines when Mitch and Sarah get home. Before long the four of you are cuddled in bed, Harry quietly humming something that sounds oddly similar to “I’m Just Ken.”

The four of you go out the next morning since you want to see a bit of the city. They each choose a couple of their favorite spots to show you before you all need to get to the venue. You again get yourself ready as they do another quick soundcheck, one of the stylist’s helping you with the red wig you’ll need as Daphne.

Once Harry is in his Fred costume the two of you take some pictures together. Night 2 is the same as Night 1, except you’re a bit more worn out from walking through the city all morning. As much as you insist to the others that you’re not sick anymore, that’s not completely true. Your head is pounding by the end, and you feel slightly dizzy. On more than one occasion you feel like your heart is beating out of your chest, it’s racing so fast.

You do everything to keep a smile on your face and not show how you’re feeling. For the first time ever, you feel relieved when the show is over. You enjoyed it of course, but you can’t wait to lay down, which will hopefully stop the world from spinning.

You’re quiet on the drive home, but still able to hide your symptoms from Harry. Once home you get ready for bed, falling asleep before Mitch and Sarah even get back.

The next morning is slightly chaotic as the four of you need to be at the airport fairly early. It’s not until you’re all seated on the private plane that they pick up on the fact that you’re kind of out of it. You claim to just be tired, but you know that they don’t buy it and are all watching you closely.

You’re seated next to Sarah and fall asleep on her shoulder shortly into the flight. When you start to wake up a couple hours later you shift, tucking your face into her neck. Mitch catches Sarahs concerned face, asking, “What’s wrong?”

“She feels warm,” Sarah answers. She places her hand on the back of your neck, noting how hot your skin has become. The boys are both immediately worried, each reaching over to feel for themselves.

You lift your head up and give them all a look, silently asking why they’re all touching you.

“How are you feeling?” Harry asks. “Be honest with us, please.”

You take a moment to assess before answering, “Kind of dizzy. And cold. And sore.”

“Anything else, love?” Sarah says.

“Maybe a bit nauseous? But not that bad, really.” Despite your insistence that you weren’t going to throw up, Mitch gets up to grab an airsick bag just in case.

“How long until we land?” he asks as he sits back down across from you.

“About an hour,” Harry answers before he turns to you and asks if you need anything.

“I’m fine,” you reply. “Can you just, uhm. Can you maybe sing?”

“Of course I can love. Any requests?”

You shake your head, tucking back into Sarah’s side. Harry begins to sing, and you take deep breaths, trying to keep any nausea and dizziness at bay.

It’s a difficult hour, and a rough landing has you nearly reaching for the airsick bag but you’re able to hold it back.

You all get home mid-afternoon, and you immediately start to unpack. You know that if you don’t you’ll just leave the suitcase for days. When you’re done you head back to the living room where you find Harry sitting on the couch.

“What are you doing?” you ask.

“Ordering dinner. Don’t think anyone is up for cooking tonight.”

You sit next to him, putting a random show on TV for background noise. You grab a blanket, wrapping yourself in it to fight off the chills. You lean against Harry who wraps an arm around you. Mitch and Sarah join you two and you guys finish ordering food and sit together quietly while you wait for it to be delivered.

Once it’s there you all move to the kitchen table. You don’t have much of an appetite but try to eat some of your dinner. The others notice that you don’t eat much, but they don’t push it, knowing that your stomach is still bothering you.

Everyone changes into comfy clothes after dinner, and you head back to the living room couch. You’re in between Harry and Sarah, Mitch trailing behind in the bathroom for a minute. You wonder what’s holding him up but understand when he walks out with your medicine box.

He takes your temperature, frowning when he sees you once again have a high fever. You take the medicine he hands you before curling into Sarah’s side. Her hand slides through your hair and rubs your back, and you focus on those comforting touches.

You all watch a movie before deciding it’s time to head to bed. You stand from the couch, taking a moment to steady yourself as a wave of dizziness washes over you.

Your heart is beating incredibly fast again, and you’re having trouble catching your breath. The others stand around you, asking questions that you can’t hear over the pounding of your heartbeat.

You meet Harry’s eyes for a moment before everything goes dark and you collapse into his arms.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

@akkatz @pandeebearstyles @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @theekyliepage @numafarawayglxy @booberry019-blog @hillzrry @ssareidbby @gem1712 @acesofspadess @houseofdilfs @shaquille-0atmeal-1 @kissitnhekitchen @amateurduck @poguestyleskye @n0vaj3an

AN: Thank you again for reading this story! There will be a part 2 to this!

#harry styles x reader #mitch rowland x reader #mitch rowland x sarah jones x reader #sarah jones x reader #mitch rowland x harry styles #sarah jones x mitch rowland x reader

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merp-blerp · 8 days

Text

Part 2 of A Gaylor interpretation of "The Prophecy"

I had more Thoughts™ that I initially left out for length, but I'd like to elaborate in sections. Special thanks to @mamataylovesrubbi for being so friendly. This community is so lovely.

TW: Brief talk of self-destructive behavior and suicide near the end.

Part 1 here

Overblown Analysis Under the Cut ↓

Artemis/Diana

Some things about Artemis/Diana that I left out of part one I left out were that 1) Artemis is also the goddess of the hunt and animals. I think that tidbit adds to the fable connection, as fables are often stories about animals. When it comes to the hunt, songs like WAOLOM and The Albotros possibly being about Taylor planning revenge on her closet-ers really scream huntress. Artemis can also become a deer, a somewhat surprisingly non-vicious animal for a huntress, if she pleases. "I've been the Archer / I've been the prey." I think this could portray Taylor's strengths and weaknesses. 2) Artemis is a virginal goddess, never having any male lovers in her stories. This doesn't necessarily make Artemis a sapphic goddess, even though I've seen that interpretation, but it's pretty telling that Taylor would align so closely to a goddess with that trait. 3) Artemis/Diana was also the goddess of the moon (somewhat, it's a bit complicated, but that's Greek mythology for you). Fits the themes of Midnights, with Taylor being Midnight (Rain) and her lover being Sunshine. Though that probably shouldn't be taken too literally, as Apollo, god of the sun, is Artemis's twin brother. Trust him like a brother, yeah—

2. Vocalizing

Taylor's vocalizing after "...tell me it'll be okay" reminds me vaguely of the vocalizing in "My Tears Ricochet", a song, like this album, alludes to Taylor dying.

3. "But I looked to the sky" and "I've been on my knees"

With all the talk of sky, I wonder if maybe "Bigger Than The Whole Sky" might be about failed coming outs. I don't know if this is something others thought have already (probably), but I never thought of it before. Meanwhile, the repeat of being on her knees makes me think of "Would've, Could've, Should've". I've mentioned before that I'm open to that song being actually about JM because it wouldn't surprise me if she tried dating dudes in some way early on in her career, whatever that would mean. However, I'm open to alternatives too. With my analysis of Taylor's Eve being bitten by the serpent/Devil, maybe the serpent could be the Devil from "Would've, Could've, Should've". Maybe the Devil could be The Professor from my "The Manuscript" analysis. I'm leaning toward that Devil being her old label.

4. Throttle

A throttle is several things. It can be something to give machinery fuel. It can be a verb, you can throttle something, aka kill it by strangulation. By "hand on the throttle," I think Taylor was saying she was ready to not only fuel/validate her truth, but kill her past lives. I get this vibe that TTPD might be for TS12 what Reputation was for Lover. Just like with Rep, she's killing the old Taylor(s) that hid her queerness before she steps into the daylight with what comes after. Makes me understand all the chockers and high-neck collars she's been sporting for this era.

5. "And it was written"

I feel like I grazed over this part of the line a bit. What was written? It could be Taylor's lyrics or her 100 thrown-out speeches. She wrote them, but wasn't heard anyway, cursed. Or it could be the word written in the Bible. (In my opinion, shit) translations of the Bible call for all kinds of things to happen to queer people, and has so for years. Not that many though because the word homosexual didn't even exist when the Bible was first scribed. Taylor was cursed before she was even born. Possibly like Eve. Didn't Eve have control over whether she ate the fruit or not? Do queer people have control in who they love? Christian will debate forever.

6. "Let it once be me"

One reason why Taylor wasn't out from the get-go obviously has to do with where her career began and under what industry she was entering. An underaged, famous, sapphic country singer sounds a bit wild now honestly, imagine in 2006! The world would not have been ready, unfortunately. But why can't Taylor come out now? Well, in "WAOLOM", Taylor sneers, "I am what I am 'cause you trained me". She was raised to closet for her whole career, maybe even longer, who could know? And of course, "Old habits die screaming" (from "The Black Dog"). After this album, however, I feel like she's gearing up to free herself. Still, there are so many people younger than Taylor who come out super casually, like Reneé Rapp, Girl in Red, etc, without games or clear fear. Taylor probably sees them and wonders why she couldn't have/had that freedom. Maybe when she says specifically, "redo the prophecy" rather than "change the prophecy" she wishes she could go back in time and somehow make it so she could've come onto the scene out and proud way back then.

7. "like fools in a fable / Oh, it was sinking in"

I think Taylor started feeling like she'd never be free as she began to write Folklore. Of course, she knew the plan didn't work before that in 2019, but as she created Folklore and Evermore, she realized she was anywhere near where she wanted to be in 2020, playing the same games. It sunk in with that. That's why Folklore, Evermore, and even some Midnights songs can sound so hopeless. As an LSK, I don't believe it was due to a breakup, but more closeting. All the albums after Lover seem to have minimal color because she can't be herself.

8. "My last coin"

So, I mentioned in part one that Taylor had/has referenced self-inflicting harmful actions towards herself in many songs. She also mentions poison in this song. It got me thinking about Romeo and Juliet and how that play goes. Taylor, with the "Poison blood from the wound of the pricked hand" seems to be combining Romeo and Juliet's death, Juliet getting stabbed or "pricked" and Romeo drinking poison. Maybe this symbolizes that, even though when she was younger, more naïve and optimistic, she exclusively identified with Juliet and changed her ending in "Love Story", now she identifies with both Romeo and Juliet, even sometimes taking on the "male" role in her songs (e.g. The Heartbreak Prince and JaMEs). A part of me wonders if that could be a comment on her gender identity too, but that goes a bit over my skill level to analyze. But it feels sad that Taylor used to change the fates of Romeo and Juliet and now she's honest about what happens to them. As I said before, I want nothing but good for Taylor. it will be okay. 🤍 ✌️🌈

Alrighty, I think I got it all out of me. Watch me think of some more shit with this song. 🙄😅

#taylor swift #the prophecy #gaylor #the tortured poets department #gaylor swift #friend of dorothea #lgbetty #gaylor theory #song analysis

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tymime · 2 months

Text

Public Domain cartoon characters from Golden Age comic books

Mickey Mouse, Winnie the Pooh, and Oswald the Lucky Rabbit going (mostly) into the public domain is a pretty big deal. In the next ten years a lot of animation from the 1930s will wind up in the hands of all artists who want to use them. But did you know there's a huge amount of cartoon characters from the 1940s that are totally free to use? It isn't just cartoons that starred on the silver screen that have fallen out of copyright. (Of course, I'm using the word "cartoon" somewhat loosely...)

See, when US copyright law was revised in 1976 and went into effect in 1978, works created before 1964 were required to have their copyright renewed before the end of 1980, or else they would become public domain. Hundreds if not thousands of Hollywood movies and other types of media had been made by studios and publishing companies that went bankrupt and were completely dissolved decades prior to this new law. This included the cartoons made by studios such as Bray, Van Beuren, and many others- but it also included comic books.

If you weren't a big comic book company like DC or Marvel, chances are you shuttered your doors sometime in the 1950s or early 1960s. And during the 1940s, with the rise in popularity of Looney Tunes, Woody Woodpecker, Tom and Jerry, and Droopy, comic book publishers were printing tons and tons of comic books starring wacky, slapstick-oriented animal characters. Most of these titles went out of copyright, and there are lots of fun and interesting characters to be found in them.

One of the most historically notable is Supermouse. When the first Mighty Mouse cartoon premiered, he was called Supermouse, but what they didn't know was that Pines comics had already taken the name, and successfully sued for copyright infringement even though they were both parodies of Superman.

One of the most interesting titles I've come across is Funny Films. The conceit of the series is that these are actually cartoons you can watch in a movie theater, except it's a comic book. A bit confusing, I know.

The end result is a series of fourth wall breaks so absolutely thorough in their scope that the fourth wall really doesn't exist anymore, barring actually jumping out of the page (or your computer screen) and blowing up your living room. They talk to the audience, jump out of the screen, and even show up late for the cartoon to start. This is of course the bookends to a whole bunch of slapstick gags and goofy dialogue.

Another interesting series, especially if you're a fan of Archie, is Hi-Jinx. They basically took the premise of teeny-boppers in high school and made them into funny animals. Most of the stories have something to do with swing music and dancing.

And although they're crudely drawn, one of the more unique character concepts is Pussy Katnip, found in various titles scattered across the mid-1940s, usually buried amongst a bunch of more normal stories with ordinary human characters. Pussy Katnip looks like one of your classic film noir glamorous beauties, except she's an anthropomorphic cat. Think Minerva Mink but feline. She may appear to be a femme fatale at first, but she's actually a crimefighter. To do this she chugs a mysterious beverage that gives her enhanced strength and intelligence. She's sort of a mystery-solving superhero.

Her appearances are random and kind of hard to find. Here are the titles of the ones currently circulating online: All Your Comics (1944 issue) All Top Comics (one-shot) All Good Comics Everybody’s Comics (1944 issue) Green Mask v1 #11 Ribtickler v1 #1 All Great Comics (1945 issue) Book of All-Comics Green Mask v2 #2 Rocket Kelly #2 Zoot Comics #1

Often these comics, especially in the early '40s, remind me of the artwork of underground comics of the '70s- not quite rubberhose, not quite Looney Tunes. The kind of thing you might find on a punkabilly album cover.

And ocassionally you'll come across characters with a suspiciously familiar name:

One thing to watch out for is the occasional Donald Duck knock-off, some more obvious than others.

Now you may be asking: Where can I read these comics? Simple: https://digitalcomicmuseum.com/ Just be sure you have the right software to read them. I use cooViewer. Another incredibly useful resource is www.comics.org.

So if you're like me and you're too impatient to wait for Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck to fall out of copyright, and you want to do something more unusual and unexpected, there are dozens and dozens of comic books with silly, wacky characters that can be utilized in your own original stories, cartoons, and what have you- and you can monetize them too!

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spade-riddles · 1 month

Note

I apologize if this has already been discussed.

Disclaimer, I'm sorry if this is hard to read or follow. Sometimes I don't have a complete thought and my mind just bounces around. lol. I'm trying to make it as cohesive as possible.

I think 🎃 anon messages were pointing to this year, not last year. Especially the 5th message about the kitchen (Studio) and a team of chefs (Artists). I believe that they were talking about an album full of collaborations. "an exclusive menu" Also the part where is says "people line up around the block for your restaurant" We patiently wait for the album.

I kind of have two different theories on this.

1- Now with Taylor always flashing ✌️I think it could be pointing us to the fact that TTPD is going to be a double album. With that my theory is that the second part of TTPD is going to be a collab album.

Going back to the 5th message, "Someone is leaving early, abandoning their station. They stuff a recipe card in their pocket as they go." 🎃 continues on in the message that this person threatens to let the world know the secret menu. (leaked song list) Which brings me to the fact that the song list was leaked before Taylor announced it. But if Taylor decided to create a double album after this person left, they wouldn't know the rest of the "secret menu" Which means there is a double album.

2- The other theory I have is that Taylor is not working by herself. There are so many artists releasing albums this year. In the 4th 🎃 it says "I cannot share my role in this chess game, but friends have friends of friends" Now these artists can all be working together for something even greater. And collaborating on each others albums. Also many artists who are not in country, are releasing "country" albums this year. Beyonce, (though she did say it's not an country album, but it does have country roots) Lana Del Ray, Post Malone, and Zayn to name a few. What does that mean? I don't know, possibly they are working together to change the way music is done. Remove the corrupt corporations involved in music. Artists have more control now than they did 5 years ago. With streaming and the internet they are able to reach listeners more than on the radio. But I believe there is still a lot more going on behind closed doors than we know. And if we talk about the forced closeting that happens, possibly these artists are fighting against that as well.

I do think in the next few months these 🎃 messages will become more clear.

And I'm not quite sure if the last message about Halloween is literal. Because if you think about what people do on Halloween, they dress up as something they are not. And these artists who are in the closet have to pretend to be something they are not. They dress for the part, they act the part, just to make some people smile. I think when all this is done and over with, the masks will come off. And they will reveal their true selves. (possibly a mass coming out)

I also believe after TTPD (TS11, a story in 11 parts) Taylor is going to become either an independent artist or start her own record company. Which means if she waits to release Reputation and Debut under her own label, she will literally be taking back her Name and Reputation for herself only.

Very interesting… thank you for sharing!

Here are the 🎃 messages for reference:

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grapenehifics · 5 months

Note

Not to tell you about *every* time I hear Solsbury Hill on the radio but…

Can you tell us why you picked it as the title for your fic? I feel there’s more to your reasoning than “grab your things I’ve come to take you home” and I’d love to hear your thoughts [it’s also maybe pretty obvious(?) but I’m really, really shit at 1) song lyrics 2) song meanings and 3) applying them to other contexts 🙈]

My friend, there is almost nothing I would rather talk about than the intersection between Peter Gabriel*, Genesis, Solsbury Hill the place, Solsbury Hill the song, and Solsbury Hill the fic.

(*Peter Gabriel, and all the members of Genesis, are real people, and would probably tell this story very differently. But they're not here to correct me [oh god, at least, I hope not], and this is how I heard the story, and I am going to tell it the way I know it. Apologies to all those living or dead.)

Sometime in the late 1960s a group of British schoolboys formed the prog rock band Genesis, and by the early 1970s they were...maybe not world-famous, but huge by prog rock standards, anyway, with a couple of albums and a tour. The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway came out and it was a big enough deal that they got offered an American tour, too.

They were all still pretty young (they'd started basically in high school) and Peter Gabriel, their lead singer and main songwriter, had recently got married and he and his wife had a baby (this will become relevant in a second). So they go on the American tour and maybe about halfway through Peter turns to his bandmates and is like, "so...I'll finish the tour with you, because I promised I would, but when we get back home I'm quitting the band."

The other guys were stunned, obviously, because this was the moment they'd worked for. They'd already gotten through all the shitty garage band years, which is where most people give up, and now they were at the good part! They were on an international tour! The money was good! Their albums were selling! They had more fans than they'd ever thought they'd have! What on earth would possess someone to want to give all that up?

(The part of this story that is less-charitable to Peter Gabriel is that one of the answers he gave was 'more creative freedom' and his band was like...but you already write all our songs? What possible *more* creative freedom do you think you need?)

It wasn't just the band, though. His managers and the record company and everyone all told him that was a terrible, terrible idea, and there were a sizable contingent of Genesis fans who just refused to follow him to his solo career because they were mad at him for walking out on Genesis, wrecking the band, how dare he be so ungrateful...

(Genesis did fine without him, actually. Phil Collins took over on vocals and they had another couple of albums and some hit songs before going kind of weirdly soft-rock in the 80s.)

Also - and this is an important detail - when he left the band, there was no solo career. He didn't have any songs. I don't think he even had an agent. He was kind of on the outs with the industry for pulling that stunt. He spent the first year after he quit - while Genesis was recording a new album without him - just hanging out at home with his wife and baby daughter.

Eventually he did get back in the studio, and one of the songs on his first solo album was Solsbury Hill, largely regarded to be the most autobiographical of his songs (Solsbury Hill is an actual, physical hill in Somerset, near where he grew up). It's pretty blatantly about quitting Genesis, including being unhappy in the band:

So I went from day to day Though my life was in a rut

I was feeling part of the scenery

And liberty, she pirouette When I think that I am free

and trying to get up the courage to leave even knowing it would almost universally be regarded as a really dumb move and would very possibly end his entire music career even though he was still in his twenties:

My friends would think I was a nut Open doors would soon be shut

But eventually doing it anyway:

To keep in silence I resigned

I walked right out of the machinery

I will show another me

Then he writes about how, even though it was scary and he didn't know what the consequences were going to be, he was glad he did it:

Though my life was in a rut 'Til I thought of what I'd say Which connection I should cut

Today I don't need a replacement I'll tell them what the smile on my face meant

And he personifies all this as a person, or more accurately hearing a voice (while climbing Solsbury Hill, hence the title), and the progression of what the voice tells him mirrors the rest of the lyrics. First it's:

"Son, " he said "Grab your things, I've come to take you home."

and

"Hey, " he said "Grab your things, I've come to take you home."

But the final lines are the singer answering back:

"Hey, " I said "You can keep my things, they've come to take me home."

And not to belabor the metaphor, but that's what I see as the equivalent of the first quarter or so of Solsbury Hill the fic, at least the beginning to the Bakersfield hospital chapters. Peter Gabriel and Anakin both got the exact thing they thought they wanted - a record deal, a tour, money, fame, wealth - and then turned out once they had it, they actually didn't really want it all that much anymore, and the reality of it wasn't worth keeping it.

But also mixed in there is some shame, right, because to everyone else it looks like you have it all. Every kid around the world with a guitar and a garage bands wants what you have. Every kid on their school swim team watching the Olympics on TV wants that. And now you've got it, and you're just...going to hand it back? Say it's not good enough? This thing that feeds your family and lets you see the world? How dare you spit on that!

But all they really want - in both stories - is more time with the people they love. And yes, in both cases, there are ways to fix that - Peter Gabriel could have taken his wife and baby with him on tour, Anakin could have not fired Obi-Wan and taken up with Palpatine - but in the middle of that situation and looking down the barrel of year after year of touring and competition and the toll it takes on your body and your mental health - suddenly the smart play starts looking like turning you back on it, tearing the whole thing down, and starting over. Even if it means living without the money and the fame and the recognition and universal goodwill. Who cares. Keep it all. Keep my things; I don't need them; I just need you.

I'm going home.

#solsbury hill

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ana8swift · 2 years

Text

summary: You were eighteen when you left Hawkins. Now it's few years later, and as you struggle with the mess you've left behind, your fears and secrets. Love gives you a second chance, will you take it?

Steve Harrington × reader

Word count: 4,500+

This story is inspired by and named after Lizzy McAlpine's album five seconds flat.

PART 1

strangers to lovers, second chance romance, angst but also fluff :)

---------------------------------------------------------

It's cold, how Steve's face turns pale when he sees you. He was laughing, but his smile quickly disappeared.

Of course you'll find him here. At the grocery store. The first place you go to after getting home. He's not alone though.

Robin is next to him, she just awkwardly waves. She whispers something in his ear and heads your way.

She is moving way too fast and you don't have time to think of what to say. What is there left to say?

"Hi" is a good way to start.

"Hey, I- we didn't know you were home". Home. It feels weird to call Hawkins home, when you haven't been here in years. And when Robin says 'we' it feels weird because Steve walks away. Robin notices his absence. But she continues,

"I've missed you. If you called me to tell me that you're back, I would've come to visit you or something" And she says it again, like she wants to emphasize her feelings, the hurt and pain you left behind for her to pick up after, "I've missed you". Simple words. She means them, but they hurt in a way they aren't sure to do.

"I just got here. This morning. I realized the fridge was completely empty so I came to buy something before my family wakes up. Wanted to surprise them" you avoid to look at her eyes, but you smile anyway. A shy smile. Hoping she won't notice how uncomfortable this is for you, you realize the floor is more interesting to look at, then her sad blue eyes.

"Oh. Uhm. How long are you going to stay here for?"

"I'm going back after New Year's"

"That's great! We have you for the whole month. I'm glad you're back" she tells you. And you really want to believe her. For a second you look into her eyes and you almost do.

"I think he's waiting for you. But I'll see you around. I've missed you too" you cut short the conversation. She knows what you mean. She hugs you and mutters a sweet 'goodbye'. And she looks for Steve. He's around. Probably hiding somewhere, avoiding you.

And you don't blame him.

It's cold, the weather outside. But it's the start of December. The start of the new season. Of course it's cold. You're underdressed. With no scarf or gloves or a proper coat. What the hell were you think, leaving the house like this?

But you guess that living in California does that to you. You get used to warm, sunny days and you start to forget what's it like in Hawkins, in the wintertime.

You shouldn't have walked here. The hour is early, and the sun is still down. And you're too far from home.

But a familiar car drives next to you. Windows down. You see him more clearly now. He's older. Of course he is, it's been three years. His eyes seam darker, his hair longer, his lips formed in a frown. Hands on the wheel. Robin sits in the passenger seat.

"Need a ride?" she kindly asks.

"Oh no need. I'll just walk home"

"No way, get in here!" you want to take on her offer, but before you give an answer, you look at the driver, Steve. Wait for his reassurance. After a moment of silence he finally looks up to you, and says:

"Come on, we'll take you home"

You don't need much convincing. You were going to freeze to death if you didn't get in the car. The icy road slows down the drive. It's silent and almost nostalgic. And you have so many things you want to say in that moment. To apologize. But it's not right, not now.

So,

You just stay silent. Or try to, but Robin's here. And she tries to talk to you. Small talk. She hates small talk and now that's all you have left.

"How does it feel to be back?" she breaks the silence.

"Uhm I don't know. Weird"

Steve makes an annoyed expression and Robin shoots him a 'don't do that, don't be an asshole' type of look.

But seating here, in Steve Harrington's car, after all this time it's weird. You don't know how to explain it so you try to change the subject.

"Robin, last I've heard is that you got in Southern Cal. Is that true?"

"Oh yeah! I can't take another gap year. My parents will kill me if I don't leave the house soon"

"That's great"

"And the best part is that I got a full scholarship. So I'm using all the money I've saved in the past few years to buy a small apartment near campus. If you know any cheap two-room apartments near campus or anywhere colse by, it would be great!"

"Two rooms?"

"Steve is going to be my roommate"

"Oh, that's amazing. I can ask some friends if they know some avaliable places around there" you try to sound exited, but you're not sure how you feel about it. Steve Harrington, being so close to you? And living in the same city again?

"Thank you! Isn't this great? Next year, we'll be together. Just like old times!" You can hear real excitement in her voice. But Steve's gaze from the rear view mirror brings you to reality. Nothing ever will be like 'old times'.

When the drive is finally over, you exit the car, you thank Steve, but he stays silent. This silence is killing you. But still you put on a smile, and you wonder how you're going to survive this Friday's party? Because you just made a promise to Robin that you'll be there. And you can't break more promises.

The last time you were home, in Hawkins was when you were eighteen.

You were fresh out of high-school, you were full of hopes, adrenaline and bad ideas.

And Steve Harrington was next to you, going through all your bad ideas. He wasn't really your boyfriend or something, but he was with you and it was enough. And you liked having Steve Harrington by your side.

You also liked the small town you knew like the back of your hand. The place you grew up in. Hawkins- Indiana.

And it's true. Most people dream to have the chance to leave this town. They crave adventures, new places and faces. Or they are simply afraid. And Hawkins -the perfect town for high school sweethearts to settle in,

has became a living nightmare in the last decade. The kind of nightmare, that makes you feel like you're stuck in your bed. And you can't move. You can't scream. You can only hear whispers. You can see things. And you can't really explain it. If you do or try to explain, you'll most likely end up in a mental institution.

So you never did explain why you left.

And that was your mistake.

So was agreeing to go to this stupid party.

You can't find what to wear, and you're most likely going to be late. You don't even remember the girl who is throwing this party. Robin said her name was Sarah, and that you and her had science together.

This party is set to be the death of you.

But you're still here standing outside Sarah's door. Wearing a nice outfit and a very warm coat. And you're only 20 minutes late.

She opens up, a nice looking redhead and she hugs you tightly.

"Come in. We were waiting for you! I was so happy when Robin mentioned you were coming! How's California? How's everything?"

You get in, walk through the hallway, following Sarah's voice. And she leads you to a dark room filled with smoke and high.

You might not remember Sarah, but you find a lot of familiar faces in the crowd around you.

You see Amanda, the girl you were seated next to in English. But right now, instead of the regular nice and smart girl you once knew, you see her smoking weed and making out with a guy much older then her.

You see the high school sweethearts, James and Taylor. They are still together? But they are arguing and Taylor stroms out.

You see a lot of familiar faces. You wonder how much they've changed since high school. You know you've changed for sure. Near death experience does that to you.

Sarah leaves to greet someone else and you stand there alone. In the middle of the crowd, with a cup of beer in your hand is when you finally see him. You knew he'd be here. You shouldn't be surprised or disappointed. Because he's talking with a girl. You can clearly see he's flirting with her. Because his hand is on her waist and he's smirking, and she laughs at some joke he whispered in her ear.

You remember a time, when you were in that girl's shoes. When you were the one to laugh at Steve's jokes. The one that got to hold him close. The one that got to kiss him even if you were just friends. You miss it. You got to be his friend, and now you're not. You miss your friend.

But to your rescue comes another friend, Robin. You talk with her, talk with everyone really. You drink. You smile and you tell yourself 'it's fine'. Everything is fine, so focus on that. You just need to get out of here. So, you excuse yourself that you need some fresh breath and go outside. It's still crowded around the porch, and all you want is to hide somewhere. From all these people and mixed feelings.

The driveway is a good place for that. Too bad Steve had the exact same thought. You find him, smoking, next to his car. And you can't leave, because he sees you. He moves his eyes from your head to your toes, though your curves and invisible shields. He always knows how to break down the walls around your heart. But you're not surprised. After all, he is known for being a heartbreaker.

"I thought smoking is bad for you" you walk up to him.

"It is"

You stand in front of him now. He's too close. But you don't mind. "So why are you smoking? Since when?"

"Three years ago" he says and by the look in his eyes you can tell what he really wants to say is 'when you left'.

"Can I try?" you don't really want to try. But the way you say it, it comes off as a joke, a distraction from the hurt and Steve notices that too. Because he says a simple,

"No" and he smiles. Beside the pain and anger he's feeling, you made him smile. You almost feel proud. You feel like you've missed his smile.

"Why not?" And you decide to show him yours, just in case he has missed your smile as much as you've missed his.

"It's a bad idea"

"I used to like bad ideas" you don't know what made you say that. Because it feels wrong. You want to clarify 'I'm not regretting my past, I don't regret you. You were the best idea I've had. But it not right, the moment is over and Steve continues,

"Yeah, used to" he mocks and turns his head down to puts out his cigarette.*

"Still want to try" you don't, but you think that you would try anything, everything to make this moment last for while longer. Everything to see Steve Harrington's smile again, to know that you're the reason behind it.

"What are you doing here? Honestly?" Steve obviously doesn't think the same. You can't blame him.

So you try to play dumb. "Robin invited me. You were there, you know that"

"I mean back, in Hawkins. Why now?"

"I missed it" you're not sure if what you say it's true or a lie.

"Bullshit" Steve seams like he knows the answer for your unspoken question. 'You're the answer', you want to scream at him. He walks away. Heading back inside. To the girl he was with. She's probably waiting for him, you think.

"It's not" you yell without turning back.

"Bullshit" he does the same, and he leaves you smiling in a driveway about a simple conversation, in the middle of the night and somehow that is enough.

---------------------------------------------------------

But four years ago on a similar, cold night, everything changed. It was the winter of 84'. It was simple and innocent. It was the start of the end.

"Did you really had to do that?" you start the conversation as you sit down on the chair that's in front of you. The orange walls, wooden floors and the big dining table make you feel at home. Even though you've never been here before. Steve's presence was enough.

The pictures on the wall covered with dust, a big vase with lilies, an old music player. A slow song fills your ears, but quickly fades as Steve answers.

"Do what?" He's pacing around the kitchen, like a lost child in a grocery store or more like a lost puppy. 'Where is it?' he mumbles to himself. He's looking for his first aid kit, you know that because you're bleeding on his fancy carpet. You're supposed to feel scared or anything really, you never liked blood, especially your own. But Steve's the one who's terrified. Pacing like a ghost, you continue:

"You know-" you hold your open wound and take a deep breath. You can't see it very clearly, it's dark outside. But you're sure it's going to leave a scar on your torso. The light breeze coming from the open window, as well as the sound of dogs barking outside are a distraction to your pain. You release your breath "-be the hero. How do you expect me to not to fall in love with you, when you try to save my life?" you say it off as a joke.

"It's easy, don't resist it. And fall in love with me" he doesn't. He says it with so much ease and confidence. Like he didn't pretend not to know you last year. He's marching to you with hands full of supplies. He leaves them on the table and puts on a light. Your eyes hurt from the sudden brightness and Steve quickly mumbles 'sorry' and takes a sit beside you.

"Maybe I don't want to fall in love with you" you say, and you look down.

"Why not? I'm the perfect guy to fall in love with" he doesn't ask, insted he just lifts your shirt that's covered in blood and dirt and probably more blood and he cleans you wound. "I know, that I don't have the best reputation. But if you give me a chance, I will try everything to make sure that you don't regret it". His touch is gentle, but still it sends a shiver down your back. You look at his hands, and think about how you want to hold them. His eyes are now on you and you think this is a moment to hold on to.

"Yeah, I know. The number one basketball star, biggest playboy, king Steve" you smile even though it's not really funny. You just want him to know that you understand.

That this Steve that is starting at you right now is not the same as the one you see at school. This Steve that helped and is friends with a bunch of twelve year olds is not the same as the one that sits behind you in class. This Steve that saved you from a bunch of demo-dogs or some creatures is not the same you once knew in kindergarten.

You know this but you want to know more about him.

Because he's more than his mighty titles, because you always want to remember the way it feels, to be seen and admired by Steve Harrington.

"So what do you think?" he looks down, and continues to stitch you up. 'When did he learn how to do that?'

"About?"

"Going on a date with me? And later falling in love with me?" he finally looks up and half smiles, and how could you say 'no' to his gorgeous eyes and smile? You don't. You accept his invitation with a squeeze on his hand, and you hold it throughout the night while he takes care of your recklessness- jump in fire- stupid decision- your bloody wound. And before you leave his house, the next morning, you say

"I would love to go on a date with you"

------------------------------------------------------

When you left three years ago, you didn't stay in touch with your friends, the kids, even your family. You tried to erase Hawkins, your past and everyone that comes with that. You also felt like a coward. Being the only one who left. You didn't have it in your heart to talk on the phone with the kids, but they tried. They called you so often, that you memorized their numbers. You didn't answer though, because you were scared to hear the disappointed in their voice.

And now, walking through your neighborhood, looking around, you feel like a stranger and at the same time nostalgia washes over you. You regret doing that, declining their calls. Not visiting Max in the hospital. Not being there for them. To help them, comfort them.

You regret a lot of things that you did, and didn't do.

And now all you have are memories. Like the one you just remembered. Something happened here, at the same playground you just walked past. A memory was made, a heart was broken...

---------------------------------------------------------

Three years ago...

Summer of 85' left a mark on Dustin's face, countless freckles under his eyes and on his cheeks. His face matured. He was starting high school soon, so of course he looks older.

The sky was changing in shades of gold, orange and pretty pink. And the air was warm, with a kind wind, lifting up your hair and leaving a faint voice in the back of your head. It was around 7 pm and the sun was quickly setting down.

And that meant only one thing,

Summer's end- playground- back to school- deep talks tradition with your favorite kid, who's far more mature than most of the kids your own age or his.

"I don't understand why you're avoiding him now. I mean you went to high-school together, you are friends right? You even fought together, twice now. In the upside down I mean" Dustin changes the conversation, and you know who he's talking about.

You knew that you couldn't avoid him. You still tried to.

"Yeah that's true, we're cool. More than that. You know, I might be in love with him. I don't know. But I can't say that. It's not the right time, you know?" You answer as you swing in the open wind. The sky looks purple now, you can almost taste it. You suddenly crave cotton candy, ice cream or Steve Harrington's lips on yours.

You just wanted the pain to stop.

"Might? You're definitely in love. And he definitely feels the same"- Dustin remembers how Steve acted around you when he saw you, in Scoops Ahoy few weeks ago. Before the mall fire. Before everything went to hell.

He swears that Steve was nervous then and that he was blushing and Steve swears that he was not.

Suddenly Dustin notices you, smiling to the sky and he realizes- "Wait are you high?"

"Yup" you turn to face him. "I saw your new friend. The dealer, what was his name, oh I forgot"

"You mean Eddie?" He sounds surprised. But why? Dustin is the one who introduced you to the weirdo, actually no, Eddie is cool. Your thoughts are spinning around your head. What is Steve doing now? Is he going to hate you? Did you lock your front door before you left? You don't listen to Dustin, as you continue to talk.

"The one with the long hair, always wears a denim vest"

"Yes, yes! That's Eddie. Did you get weed from him?"

"Do you think Steve is going to hate me?" You suddenly stop swinging, and you look down. You almost sound embarrassed by your question. You feel even more embarrassed when you realize that tears are forming in your eyes.

"No, why would he? He could never hate you. No matter what you do" he tries to comfort you. And maybe what he says it's true, but you're still confused, you whisper a soft 'Really' and Dustin continues -"Yeah. It's obvious that he loves you. I know you two are or were seeing each other. It's okay"

"I'm leaving in two days" you say and to be honest, the rest of the day was a blur.

You remember crying, Dustin holding your hand as he walked you home, and you remember the time when the roles were reversed.

The summer before Dustin started middle-school. He was around five, and you were only few years older. Your parents are friends with his mom, and you basically grew along side the young boy.

He was so scared, that he tried to run away from his home, just so he wouldn't go to school the next day. His mom freaked out, almost called the police. But Dustin was quickly found. In the playground, he was softly crying, hiding behind the swings. You saw him, talked to him, gave him some hope 'You'll find friends Dustin. I'm sure you will! And if you don't, you'll always have me, okay?' you remember the words you whispered before you took him home.

And you remember what Dustin said before you walked to your door, 'I understand why you're going. And I'm sure you'll be happier there, you'll find new friends and everything is going to be okay. If not, you'll always have me'

---------------------------------------------------------

You haven't talked to Dustin, or anyone since Max's coma. So getting a call, at three pm on the third day since you were back was rather unexpected. You didn't think they would want to see you.

But Lucas called, and you didn't recognize his voice. He asked you to meet with them, at Mike's basement for a movie night. And how can you say no? You had to see them, you missed them. When he mentioned Mike's basement, you smiled. Not everything is changed after all.

So here you are, standing in front of the Wheeler's hause, the next day. You ring the bell, and Holly answers. She doesn't remember you, but Mike lets you in. Everyone is there, Lucas, Dustin, Max, Will, El . They were all grown up, almost as tall as you, thriving in high school, almost unrecognizable to you.

They all hugged you tightly. And it's weird, but good weird. You missed this, you missed them.

"How is high school treating you? I can't believe how tall you all are!" you say as you take a seat on the empty couch.

"It's good. We're good. How's college?" says Mike and quickly everyone takes a sit beside you.

"It's good" it comes off as a lie, but it's not. College is not what you expected. But mean girls and asshole guys are better then fighting demons or whatever in the upside down. But you can't be thinking about this right now. 'Focus on the good' you tell yourself.

-"I mean, you're almost seniors, do you have some ideas of what you want to study?"

"Well not me. I'm staying behind for another year. I have so much to learn" El sends a sweet smile to your way and finds a seat on the floor.

"That's allright. I remember Eddie Munson fell behind for two years back in high school and he's fine now. I saw him at his gig in June" you change the subject. Focusing on the good.

"Yeah he mentioned that. Dustin has weakly phone calls with him" Lucas says, as he looks over at his curly headed friend.

"I do. He always has the most amazing stories from tour. Last month he was chased from the police. He swears that he ran for half an hour and got away in the end" Dustin says, proudly.

"That's not surprising. But you, tell us, how are you? How long are you staying?" Max asks. Her voice is stronger now. You remember the first phone call you had with her, when she woke up. You felt the hurt though her voice. But, let's focus on the good. She's good. Everything is fine.

"Till New Year's" and smile, that's good.

"Do you have a boyfriend? Back in California? Do you know Will has- El starts saying something but is quickly interrupted.

"Hey, El!" Will yells.

"Mhm no I don't. I had. But"- you try to explain. But how can you? The last boyfriend you had cheated on you. And the worst thing was, that you didn't feel anything. You didn't care.

"But what?" the redhead curiously asks.

"I broke up with him, four months ago. I don't think I'm that good at relationships" you say.

"Look, I got goosebumps" Dustin shows his arm to Mike. With a big smile on his face. -"I swear Steve said the same thing to me last week" Dustin laughs, but everyone else stays silent. And he quickly realizes what be said.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have mentioned him. I ruined the mood" his smile falls, and cracks a piece of your heart. You never wanted this. To break the group. To leave. But you did, now you must face the consequences. The hurt you caused. It's your fault.

"Please, don't apologize. Steve and I, we're cool. He knows I'm back. Everything that happened, it's in the past. We're both civil right now" you explain and everyone looks shocked. It's not that shocking, that Steve talked to you, right?

"You are?" Will asks.

"Wait, why didn't he say anything to us! I found out that you are back from my mom. Because she saw you at the bakery. But I mean he could have told us that you're here. The last time we saw him, it was like what?"-

"Monday morning" Max continues her boyfriend's sentence.

"I guess he forgot to mention that. It's not a big deal" you say.

"Did you talk?" quietly asks El.

"Kinda. I don't think he wants to talk to me that much. And I don't blame him"

"Well I do. You're finally back, the whole group is whole and now he's being petty about it?" Dustin says annoyed.

"Let's just watch the movie" focus on the good.

"Is that why Steve was in a bad mood?" El whispers to her boyfriend.

"Shhh!" Mike finally sits down, and the movie starts.

At the same, few blocks away was Steve. Taking his break, standing in front of the chief's office. With a payphone in his hand, and a cigarette in his other.

"Why is she back?" He whispers to the person on the other line.

"This is her home. She has a right to come back, whenever she wants to" says Robin. Because, who else would Steve call, if not his best friend?

"I know but- he takes a drag and exhales- She's acting like a saint, coming back here, like nothing happened. Like she didn't just leave without saying goodbye" he complains.

"I know you're hurt, but can you give her a chance? I'm not asking you to get back together, just be civil. I know you've missed her too" she whispers back.

"Look, I've got to go. Hopper is going to kill me if I don't finish his paper work. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"You know it"

The following week, the weather got colder, and you spent your time catching up with some old friends and with your family. You were preparing for Christmas, decorating the tree, baking. You filled your room with bright colored lights and it felt nice. It felt like before.

The first week of 'dating' Steve Harrington was magical, and it felt right, and you remember it really well. You played every moment back in your head, replaying it over and over, so you don't forget it.

It was the start of winter and it was snowing all the time. School got canceled because of snow, icy roads and coldness but you were happy, free and you were slowly falling in love.

You kissed Steve Harrington, and you felt free.

He kissed you back, and you promised to always remember how freedom tastes. To remember what happiness means.

Hot chocolate, cinnamon cookies, icy lips, red checks.

Everything was right and good. And you want to focus on that. To remember that.

But you can't focus on the good, and forget the bad parts, the nightmares, the heartbreak, the horrors.

You're in your room. And everything starts to move. The lights lose their color. Everything darkens. Everything spins. Voices fill your head and you can feel the walls around your neck. You're losing your breath. Is that 'Vecna' thing back? Or is this your mind playing tricks on you again? You're not sure.

In your life you've memorized a lot of numbers, historical years, important dates but right now the only number you know is Steve's. And you call it. And you wait. You're sure that he'll answer this time.

---------------------------------------------------------

Notes: I've already started working on part 2 (the last part) and I want to give credits to everyone who has written a similar story/ one-shot in the past. This is not my idea, but it's my version and I hope you like it!

Also english is not my first language, so please correct me if I've made some mistakes. And tell me what you think, I would love to know your thoughts on this!!

Have a nice day, love Ana <3

#dustin henderson #steve harrington #robin buckley #steve harrington x reader #stranger things reader insert #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington angst #steve harrington and robin buckley #mike wheeler #eleven #max mayfield #lucas stranger things #stranger things #stranger things one shot #stranger things imagine

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ilookedintoit · 12 days

Text

In Another's Eyes: Garth & Trisha, Part 1

When Garth Brooks met Trisha Yearwood in a Nashville studio in the late 1980s, both singers were unknown and still hoping for their big break in country music.

Though Garth would later admit he felt like he had met his wife when he and Trisha first crossed paths, the fact was he already had a wife, and Trisha had a husband. So they were friends, and Garth made Trisha a promise - if his career ever took off, he'd be sure to give her a boost in any way he could.

Just a few years later, Garth was riding a wave of major success and he needed an opener for his upcoming tour. He picked Trisha. As they both became two of the biggest names in country music, they remained friends, contributed to each other's albums, and released a Grammy-winning duet. All the time, Garth was married to his college sweetheart Sandy, producing three children.

When Garth and his wife filed for divorce, everyone predicted he and Trisha would end up together after years of tabloid rumors - and of course, they did. But did anything happen between them before he was finally single?

1986

May 1986

Garth marries Sandy Mahl on May 24, 1986, when he is 24 and she is 21.

Garth met his future wife in 1983 when he was working as a bouncer at the Tumbleweed Ballroom, a bar in Stillwater, Oklahoma. She was a fellow student at Oklahoma State University.

Two versions of their first meeting have been told. Sandy would say in Garth's 2019 documentary, "The Road I'm On," that they met when Garth asked her to dance.

The other story that Garth told in the early 90s was that they met after Garth went into the women’s bathroom to break up a fight and found Sandy with her fist stuck in the wall.

After Brooks extricated the fist and ejected the lovely lass from the club, he tried to pick her up. “She said, ‘Drop dead!’ and called me a few other names and walked off.” “I said, ‘Well, can I call ya?’” the undaunted suitor recalls. Sandy gave him the courage to give his music a try. He’d come to Nashville once in 1985, but was terrified on his own in the country capital and fled homeward. But with Sandy by his side, Brooks came to Music City to stay in 1987. She calmed his fears and they took jobs at a boot store while he knocked on the doors of Music Row. (The Tennessean)

1987

June 1987

Garth and Trisha will first meet while working as demo singers at a studio in Nashville. Garth has often said he had been married for 13 months when this occurred, so it was presumably in June 1987 that they met.

Trisha was also married, having wed music producer Christopher Latham earlier that same year.

"Kent Blazy introduced me and Ms. Yearwood, and he goes, 'I knew you were gonna like her,'" Brooks recalled during a 2013 interview with Ellen DeGeneres. "When she left, he goes, 'What do you think?' "I said, 'Well, it's strange because I felt that feeling like when you just met your wife.'" (Source)

Garth and Trisha, how did you know the other person was the one? Garth: When you meet someone, you know. The problem was [when I first met her] I had been married for over a year. And that couldn’t have been wrong because you’re married in front of your family and God. You think, there must be some feeling that isn’t right. Trisha: It was probably the minute I met him, even though I didn’t know it at the time. (Source)

In Garth's 2019 documentary, "The Road I'm On," she reiterates that she had no intentions on anything ever happening.

“You feel the chemistry, it’s like there’s something here — but I’m gonna go home now… For me it was, I’m a good little southern girl, I was married, he was married. Not my world in that moment, it’s not an option. So when I left that day, I just thought he’s a nice guy, great voice, and I wish him well.”

A few years later, Trisha would recall this meeting and the promise that Garth made to her at the time:

He and Yearwood were among Music Row’s most in-demand singers of demonstration tapes; writer Kent Blazy knew them both and brought them together for a session. “That day we were singing on the same mike and doing the same licks and it was like, ‘This is really strange,’ and we really hit it off,” Yearwood recalled. “He said then, ‘I don’t know what’s going to happen with my career, but if I’m lucky enough to have some success I want to help any way I can.’ "I didn’t think about it, I put it out of my head, and went on about my business and made a living doing demos." (The Tennessean)

1989

April 1989

Garth releases his debut album "Garth Brooks" through Capitol Records Nashville in April 1989.

As he begins to achieve success, he also ends up cheating on Sandy while on the road.

When he married Sandy, he figured he’d settle down—only to give into temptation once given the chance. “I don’t see [unfaithfulness] as a necessity,” he insisted. “Anybody starting out saying, ‘Man, this has to happen’ — bullshit. It doesn’t.” During his first major tour in support of his debut album for Capitol Records, 1989’s "Garth Brooks," the entertainer was called out by friends for sleeping with other women while on the road. Sandy made an ultimatum: Stop fooling around or lose me. (Source: Garth Brooks: The Life & Times of a Country Superstar)

November 1989

One night when Garth is in Missouri for a concert, Sandy calls him and tells him that she is leaving him if he doesn't change his ways.

Then, says Sandy, ''an informant'' on tour confirmed her worst suspicions. ''Garth has always been a very sexual person,'' she says. ''It was his ego: proving he could look out, point and conquer. What made it easier to cope with was that it wasn't someone special. It didn't mean anything.'' In those heady first months, Garth admits, ''I was a spoiled ass. Responsibility, commitment was not my game.'' Sandy, who never toured with Garth back then, recalls it was the night of Nov. 4, 1989, when she nailed him by phone before a show. ''I told him my bags were packed, my plane ticket's bought, and I'm gone,'' she says. '''You come home and we'll talk, on my turf, eye to eye.''' (People Magazine)

He would tell Barbara Walters in a nationally-televised interview in 1993 about how he broke down on stage that night when trying to sing "If Tomorrow Never Comes:"

Garth: I guess you’d probably go back to playing Cape Girardeau, Missouri; this was when Sandy found about everything I’d been doing. Barbara Walters: Found out that there were other women. Garth: I got through the first three songs fine, and “If Tomorrow Never Comes” comes up, and … there wasn’t anything else. There was nothing left, I was inside out. The band kept playing, I didn’t know what to do, and I asked them to stop and they didn’t. I asked them to stop again and they did. This place was silent. I remember walking out and the applause was there, a different kind of applause, almost like a support applause.

Garth was able to win Sandy's forgiveness over time:

The mending took a while. ''I wanted Garth to feel my pain,'' says Sandy. ''He had hurt me so bad. I had wasted two years of my life is how I felt. I'd been the perfect little wife who thought everything was hunky-dory. The hardest thing was to keep from beating the holy s--- outta Garth at the sight of him. He was ashamed, embarrassed, and it was written all over his face. He broke down like a baby. He was on his knees, more or less beggin' me, 'I'll change, anything. You name it, I'll do it.''' And so he has. ''It took a helluva human being to forgive me,'' says Brooks. ''I had to promise I'd make this marriage work. It ain't a bed of roses now, but we bust our asses, and it works unbelievably well. For the first time in my life, I feel good about being a husband and a partner.'' As for Sandy, ''I love her to death,'' he adds solemnly. ''When I've been down, Sandy has given me strength. That's definitely given me what I have.'' (People Magazine)

1990

Garth's star is on the rise while Trisha is still looking for her breakthrough. In the meantime, Trisha provides backup vocals for Garth’s second album “No Fences,” which is released in August 1990.

Garth also introduces her to his managers, Bob Doyle and Pam Lewis, and his producer Allen Reynolds introduces Trisha to her new producer, Garth Fundis. (“I’m probably the only person in town who works with both Garths,” she quips.)

"No Fences" will inevitably be a smash hit with singles including "Friends In Low Places," "Unanswered Prayers," and "The Thunder Rolls."

October 1990

Garth wins the Horizon Award at the CMA Awards on October 8, 1990, and he insists on bringing Sandy up to the stage with him. Before accepting his award, he says:

“I’m not much good at it, but when I don’t sing I try to be a husband."

1991

As Garth prepares for his headlining tour and Trisha prepares to release her first album, he makes good on his promise to her from a few years ago to give her a career boost when it's in his power to do so.

As her first single "She's In Love with the Boy" begins its climb to No. 1, Trisha becomes Garth's opening act on his "Ropin' the Wind" tour. Trisha will tell The Tennessean in August 1991:

“When I got my deal, he came through and offered me this tour. I’ve been really lucky to be out on the road with someone that I’d had a friendship with before – and who also happens to be the hottest thing in country music.”

In the midst of the tour, Trisha releases her debut album "Trisha Yearwood" in July. Garth sings supporting vocals on her second single "Like We Never Had A Broken Heart," which peaks at No. 4 on the country chart.

According to the 1993 book “Get Hot or Go Home” written about Trisha with her cooperation, her new success and time away on tour hastens the demise of her already “faltering” marriage.

Christopher Latham tried to get her to seek counseling with him. His wife’s response: “I just don’t see how I can get back feelings I never had.”

They divorce without much fanfare. Trisha would later say about the marriage:

“You are encouraged to get married when you are a small-town person, and that’s what I did even though I knew it wasn’t right. I had met this guy and I thought, ‘I am never going to meet anybody who cares about me this much,’ which is probably true, so I married him. “There was just no real spark, which I think there is supposed to be. It wasn’t show business that broke us up. We wouldn’t still be married if I was back answering telephones.” (The Los Angeles Times)

In addition to her divorce, Trisha faces taboid rumors that have popped up about her and Garth having an affair. About these rumors, she will later say:

“We knew back when we decided we were going to do the tour that there would be talk,” she said. “But the first time I read it in the tabloids, I got really upset. So did my mom. I thought, ‘I’ll have to call everybody and say it isn’t true.’ “Then I figured that if you believe what the tabloids said about me having an affair with Garth, then you’ll also believe what is on the next page, which is something preposterous.” (The Los Angeles Times)

November 1991

In November, Trisha leaves Garth's management team to sign with Ken Kragen. After a whirlwind year, she is deemed Nashville's hottest new artist.

Garth doesn't want to take credit:

“A lot of people are making the mistake of saying I introduced Trisha Yearwood to country music,” he says. “Her talent is so very, very visible that that’s like saying you introduced Wayne Gretzky to hockey.” (The Atlanta Constitution)

December 1991

STAR Magazine prints a story in its Dec. 10 issue about how Garth is "furious" about the cheating rumors surrounding him and Trisha.

Garth phoned his mother, Colleen, from Little Rock, Ark., to set the record straight. “He likes his family to hear bad news from him direct. So even while he was on tour, he made sure to call his mom specifically to tell her about the rumors that he was having an affair with Trisha Yearwood,” says a source. “He told her, ‘Mom, I just want you to know what people are saying and what they’re trying to make of an innocent situation. The rumors are false, Mom. You know I love Sandy and would never do anything to hurt her or jeopardize our marriage.’” Another associate points out that wife Sandy would never put up with sharing Garth with another woman. “Sandy is a strong, independent woman. If there were any truth to these rumors, Trish wouldn't have been his opening act as recently as last January. If Sandy had any suspicions whatsoever, Trish wouldn’t have been anywhere near Garth. What wife would allow a possible lover so close?"

1992

February 1992

Just in time for Valentine's Day, Garth and Sandy are featured on the cover of USA Weekend, talking about how they saved their marriage after his infidelity.

Sandy Brooks, a slim, intense woman with a rapid smile, sits at a Nashville restaurant in November, picking at a plate of fried steak. She has reason to be moody. Her husband is baring his soul, she has been on the road for three days and she thinks she might be pregnant. But she’s been so busy that she hasn’t had time to take a home pregnancy test. Across from her, Garth Brooks – her husband, but more significantly, the hottest act in the hottest music in America today – is speaking quietly about the womanizing that almost ended their six-year marriage. Sandy’s blue eyes fill with tears. “I asked myself, why do I stay here? I know I love him, but…” “She’s got every right to leave me,” Brooks finishes. “But I’m happy here,” she interrupts, the tears now spilling down. “I think it has something to do with my physical build and good looks, too,” says Brooks, trying to lighten the moment and flirtatiously batting his eyes, deep-set in a moon face under a receding hairline. It works. Sandy bursts out laughing, affectionately elbows Garth. He squeezes her shoulder. The tears retreat, the moment ends.

Garth admits that the time his career takes him away from his wife leads to continuing struggles.

“For every day I give Sandy, I turn around and give one or two to the music,” Brooks says softly. “This six months I’m taking off? It started out as six months for Sandy and me, and I bet you we won’t have seven days in that six months.” Sitting next to him Sandy, 27, nods in agreement. “The marriage is still together because of her, not because of me,” Brooks says. Until recently, “I had the mentality of, ‘OK, if you don’t want to put up with me, you can hit the road.’ She said, ‘OK!’ Then I finally straightened up. The wife I got back after my infidelity was 15 times the woman I had. Like, ‘I’m gonna show you that any time you leave this house, you’re losing something,’” says Garth, playfully imitating his wife.

And Sandy acknowledges that people don't understand why she is the one who gets to be married to country music's biggest star.

“A lot of people look at me and say, ‘Why you?’ I ask myself that also. My answer is, because I fell in love with a long-haired country boy long ago. I was there when it was like, how many ways can we figure out how to cook potatoes?” ... While Sandy is happy about the unplanned baby, she continues to hope for peace, quiet and Garth. “There will come a day in my life when it is just Garth and me. I might be 75 and toothless,” she says, laughing. “But that’s what keeps me going.”

March 1992

After wrapping up her opening act stint on Garth’s seven-month tour, Trisha reflects on what it has meant to her:

“Anybody would have killed to be on this tour,” she said between sips on a soft drink. “It was scary, intimidating and wonderful. I know a lot of people came to see Garth, but we had something to offer.” Their careers were not merely linked by the 80-city tour. Yearwood sang harmony on his albums “No Fences” and “Ropin’ the Wind,” which together have sold 12 million copies. In return, he sang harmony on her album and co-wrote two of the 10 songs, including her second hit, “Like We Never Had a Broken Heart.” “He’s been like a big brother to me,” she said. (Associated Press)

Around this same time, Trisha has begun dating Robert Reynolds, bass player for The Mavericks.

Yearwood met Reynolds at a party given by her label, MCA. “It was really one of those corny across-the-room kind of things,” Yearwood says. “I saw him and he kind of saw me and we rounded the ice sculpture and met in the middle.” (The Atlanta Journal)

April 1992

In April, a pregnant Sandy accompanies Garth to the ACM Awards. She has had some health scares during the pregnancy, and on stage as he accepts just one of the awards he will win that night, he thanks everyone for their concerns for her and the baby.

July 1992

Sandy gives birth to their first child, Taylor.

August 1992

As Garth struggles with the seemingly impossible task of balancing career and family, he toys with the idea of retirement. He tells the Edmond Evening Sun:

With the birth of a daughter, Taylor Mayne Pearl Brooks, the former Oklahoma State student is considering cutting short his career in favor of fatherhood and a more traditional home life with wife Sandy. “Fatherhood’s new for me and it’s kind of thrown me for a loop,” Brooks said. “One thing that I always recall that my parents gave me was time and attention. “And I think children deserve that. My occupation doesn’t allow me to give time and attention. So I’ve got to find a way, good Lord willing, to do ’em both. “If I can’t do ’em both, then I must not choose music over (my wife and daughter).” Brooks has a cutback in his schedule planned after December, at which time he said he will make a decision on his future. “I’m saying my prayers and hopefully I’ll make the right choice.”

1993

January 1993

Somewhat cynical reporting will claim this narrative of Garth wanting to retire is “partly a ploy during heated contract negotiations with his label, Liberty Records.”

Whatever the case, Garth ultimately does not retire and signs a new lucrative, 20-year contract with Liberty in January 1993.

February 1993

Trisha tells a reporter that she and Robert Reynolds are celebrating their first year together as a couple.

“It’s really nice to be with somebody who understands it (the country music business) because he does it, but who also understands that life is more important. When we’re together we have a five-minute business rule – we can talk about business for five minutes and that’s it.” (The Commercial Appeal)

March 1993

Trisha and Robert get engaged.

But she’s not about to abandon her career. “I would like a family someday, but I’ve been pretty unconventional up until now, so I don’t think I have to stop and have three kids.” (The Atlanta Journal)

June 1993

Trisha talks again about Garth's influence in getting her career started and the tabloid rumors that swirled around them.

Q: Were you surprised when Brooks picked you as his opening act? A: I was actually, because only a handful of people believed in me then. He took a really big risk. But when we met, he said, “I love your voice, and if things go well, I want to help you out.” And he obviously meant it. He sticks by what he believes in; that’s why he is who he is. Q: At the time, the tabloids wrote that you two were having an affair. A: It wasn’t true, and when I first read it, I thought I’d better call everybody and tell them it wasn’t true. Now I’ve learned that it’s part of [being in show business] – if you’re successful, you’re going to be in the tabloids. But I never even got talked about in high school! I was always a good girl. Q: Brooks must have taught you a lot. A: He’s like a big brother to me. He taught me about the things you’re supposed to do, like visiting radio shows. I learned a lot watching him with the fans – I never saw him be anything but gracious. He always remembered why he was there. (Simi Valley News)

1994

April 1994

Trisha says she and Garth have talked about possibly doing a duets album and going on tour together. She reiterates that he is like a "big brother" to her.

“I’ve made three albums now, and I want to do different things,” she said. One of those different things involves a “sort of side career” of duets with longtime friend Brooks. They recently talked backstage at an awards show about doing a duet album and maybe touring together as a twosome. They’ve talked about it for some time, Yearwood said, and finally decided to quit talking and do it. “There really haven’t been any famous duet partners in a long time, for more than one song or album,” she said. “I do think there’s a place for that. We’ve always traded harmonies on each other’s albums. “Garth’s always been like a big brother to me,” she continued. “We’re not just two voices singing at each other.” (Fort Worth Star Telegram)

May 1994

May is a big month for both Garth and Trisha.

On May 3, 1994, Sandy gives birth to her and Garth's second daughter, August.

Garth is announced as the ACM Entertainer of the Year this same day, but is unable to even accept his award via remote feed because he has gone to the hospital to await the birth.

And after more than two years together, Trisha marries Robert Reynolds on May 21, 1994, at the Ryman in Nashville with a small invitation list. They honeymoon afterward in Ireland.

December 1994

Garth indicates that he and Trisha have already tried to put together a duets album that didn't work, but are not giving up on the idea:

He still plans an album of duets with old buddy Trisha Yearwood; their first attempt wasn’t up to snuff, he reports.

He also says he wants to put his family first.

“Now every minute I don’t spend with my family I spend with music, not the other way around.” (Knight Ridder News Service)

1995

Spring-Summer 1995

Sandy is frequently at Garth's side during public events, including the People's Choice Awards in March, ACM Awards in May, and his Hollywood Walk of Fame ceremony in June.

October 1995

Trisha tells the New York Daily News that she and her husband of 17 months are juggling busy schedules.

“We’re so busy, we practically have to make an appointment to see each other,” said the Georgia peach. “But it’s been a good year for us.” With The Mavericks being white-hot, Yearwood and Reynolds have been crossing flight paths since their wedding a year ago.

1996

July 1996

Garth and Sandy welcome their third daughter, Allie, on July 28, 1996.

August 1996

Trisha and Robert are still in what sounds like a long-distance marriage.

Yearwood’s extensive touring schedule is keeping her away from husband Robert Reynolds even more than usual. Reynolds plays bass in The Mavericks, the popular Miami-rooted roots-rock/country band, which is also on tour this summer. “I think, so far, the longest we’ve been apart this summer is right now which is two weeks,” Yearwood said last Friday. “And we’re going to see each other because I’m going to California and he’s going to be near there, so he’s going to get on a plane and come see me. We do that a lot. “We really go that extra mile to really seek out those days we can spend together. Sometimes it means flying into Nashville, like if I’m home and he’s on the road and has a day off, he’ll fly in and take me to a movie. It’s an expensive movie. But that’s kind of how we make it work.” “Things will eventually slow down for us – we won’t be touring this heavily the rest of our lives. We’ll have plenty of time to talk about what we used to do.” (Lincoln Journal Star – Aug. 23, 1996)

September 1996

In a September 10, 1996, cover story for Country Weekly, Trisha's life is deemed a "fairy tale" and Trisha gushes about Robert.

“I’m amazed we’ve been together for four years and still feel this way about each other. It’s kind of moving into a deeper level, even.” Life’s an adventure when the happy twosome finds time together, Trisha revealed. “He’s a laugh a minute. The last time we were home we put up the tepee I gave him for Christmas, and he was like a 12-year-old.” Asked how much time she and Robert get to spend together, Trisha said: “Believe it or not, we see each other quite a lot. He’s on the road and I’m on the road, but when one of us is off, we often fly to be with each other. We’ve got a lot of frequent flyer miles, let me tell you.”

October 1996

Garth and Sandy renew their marriage vows at the Good Shepherd United Methodist Church in Madison, Tennessee, on October 26.

1997

May 1997

Garth films a concert special in Ireland that will air on TV the following year. Trisha flies there to provide harmonies and sing a duet with him for the Ireland concerts.

She talks about it to The Tennessean ahead of the filming and how she tries to balance real life with her demanding schedule:

Fitting normalcy into a jet-set schedule is difficult. Tomorrow morning, for example, she boards a plane for Ireland, where she’s slated to perform with Garth Brooks as the “backup chick singer” for a series of concerts. “Yesterday I get home, I’ve been on the road for three weeks,” Yearwood recounts. “I’m like, ‘OK, the shrubs have not been trimmed in the three years I’ve lived here,’ and I just got out a pair of weed whackers – the big shears – and I did the whole house. Robert comes home and goes, ‘What happened?’ I’m like, ‘I don’t know, I went nuts.’” … Yearwood consciously fights that tendency toward isolation. Husband Reynolds, with whom she’ll celebrate their third anniversary during the Ireland trip, pushes her toward normalcy, despite his own bit of fame as the bass player for the Grammy-winning band The Mavericks. “Robert is totally undaunted by success,” she notes. “He’ll go out on the road with me where everybody knows he’s out there, and he’ll go out in the audience with a laminate (backstage pass) on, and sign autographs for an hour. He’s so unafraid of just getting out there in the middle of it, and he encourages me, in turn, to be that way.”

Robert is along for the Ireland trip and they mark three years married:

Congrats to Trisha Yearwood and The Mavericks’ Robert Reynolds who are celebrating their third wedding anniversary today (May 21) with a trip to the tropical island where they first honeymooned. Trisha’s been in Ireland opening shows for Garth Brooks. (The Tennessean)

August 1997

Trisha's new album, Songbook, is released in August 1997 featuring a duet with Garth, "In Another's Eyes." Though they have worked together in the past on each other's albums and had entertained the idea of doing a duets album together, this is their first true, major collaboration.

This duet will kick off a partnership between the two that is much more frequent and consistent than it has been since Trisha opened for Garth in 1991.

"In Another's Eyes" is also sent to country radio in August as the second single from Trisha's album. The song was written by Garth Brooks, Bobby Wood, and John Peppard.

In another's eyes I'm someone who Loves her enough to walk away from you I'd never cheat, I'd never lie In another's eyes

In another's eyes I can do no wrong He believes in me and his faith is strong I'd never fall or even compromise In another's eyes

For country star Trisha Yearwood, the current hit “In Another’s Eyes” marks a new chapter in a long-standing friendship. The song is a duet with superstar Garth Brooks, who Yearwood knows from demo-singing days of the 1980s in Nashville. “We’ve been friends for 10 years, and we’ve always been on each other’s records,” said Yearwood during a recent telephone interview from her tour bus. “We talked about doing a duets album, which has never gotten done. But we got the one tune recorded, and it’s been really nice. I hope that it’s going to be the catalyst that gets us back into the studio, and gets us recording a whole album.” (The Times)

September 1997

To promote the song in addition to some joint performances during live concerts in the fall, Garth and Trisha appear on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

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They also appear and sing on Terry Bradshaw's show.

On September 25, 1997, Trisha wins Female Vocalist of the Year at the CMA Awards, and she thanks Robert who is in the audience. Garth wins Entertainer of the Year but is not in attendance because he is on the road.

1998

February 1998

Garth and Trisha win the Grammy for Best Country Collaboration with Vocals for "In Another's Eyes."

Beginning in February, Trisha joins a number of Garth's world tour dates throughout the duration of 1998 to sing "In Another's Eyes" and "Walkaway Joe" during the concerts.

Garth also drops in on one of Trisha's concerts in late February:

Country music fans at a free promotional miniconcert by Trisha Yearwood got an unexpected bonus. Superstar Garth Brooks dropped in on his friend and opening act at the Caravan of Dreams on Sunday afternoon. Yearwood and Brooks sang a couple of tunes to the surprised crowd, including their duet “Walkaway Joe,” that has been highlighting his concerts in the Dallas-Fort Worth area the past two weeks. When Brooks walked onstage fans were shocked, but Yearwood simply turned and asked, “Would you like a Tic-Tac?” (Odessa American)

April 1998

In early April, the soundtrack for the movie "Hope Floats" is released, featuring Garth and Trisha's separate versions of "To Make You Feel My Love" at the beginning and end of the track list.

At the ACM Awards on April 22, Trisha introduces the presentation of the Special Achievement award to Garth, as he and Sandy sit in the audience.

Trisha also wins Top Female Vocalist and mentions her husband in her acceptance speech:

"Thank you... to my sister, who’s my date tonight because my husband’s in London. I love you Robert, wherever you are."

In a Q&A with the Associated Press, Trisha praises the way Garth handles being so famous.

Q: Besides touring, including a trip and television special in Ireland, you and Garth Brooks recorded a duet. What has he taught you? A: I’ve known him for 10 years and we’re good friends. He’s like a big brother to me. I think we both value each other’s opinion. I watch him and how he deals with fans. Let me tell you, he has class. He’s a good person. The biggest thing to learn from him is he really focuses on the music and lets the other stuff (gossip and critics knocking him) fall to the wayside. He doesn’t act famous. I like that.

July 1998

Trisha appears on Prime Time Country on The Nashville Network, and Garth drops in as a surprise during her interview.

Garth: “Usually we’re everywhere together… So she was here, I was off… I work for her now.”

September 1998

Garth and Trisha have another duet, "Where Your Road Leads," on her newest album of the same name. It is released as a single in September.

They perform "Where Your Road Leads" together live via satellite from their concert in Buffalo, which is broadcast on the CMA Awards on September 23.

They also accept awards they win that night - including Female Vocalist of the Year for Trisha and Entertainer of the Year for Garth - via the remote feed from Buffalo.

December 1998

The entire year has been full of Garth and Trisha performances, so of course it ends with a Christmas program appearance on NBC.

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1999

I wasn't able to find a whole lot of information about Garth and Trisha interactions throughout most of 1999. This may be because Garth's latest world tour has finally ended, and he has some new areas of focus including the "Chris Gaines" experiment that takes him down a very different tangent, along with the decision to privately separate from Sandy in March.

It may also be that they have spent the last year being such a duo that it was naturally time for a break from that. Whatever the case, they continue on as they were before... until October when Trisha files for divorce, and everyone's eyes turn to Garth.

January 1999

On January 5, Trisha receives three Grammy nominations and The Mavericks receive one, which is highlighted in a widely-dispersed Associated Press report, including the subhead: “Yearwood does better than husband.”

Sandy is with Garth at the American Music Awards on January 11, where he and Trisha also perform "Powerful Thing" together.

Less than a week later, Robert is with Trisha on January 16 when she is officially invited to join the Grand Ole Opry.

February 1999

Nancy Jones, wife of George Jones, has recently released a book called "Nashville Wives" which features chapters on wives of big country stars. Sandy contributes to the book, reportedly against Garth's wishes. Nancy tells a reporter:

“I didn’t really have to dig. I think it was therapy for a lot of these women. I think that with Sandy Brooks, there were some things she wanted to tell. Garth told her he didn’t want her to do the book, because he thought it would come back and haunt her. She called me several times, changing her mind before she said, ‘I’m doin’ it!’”

A quote from Sandy in the book includes:

“I knew nothing of what he was up to on the road, and he knew nothing of what I was up to, and we came together and said, ‘This ain’t what we had planned for each other,’ and we refocused and realized that we are a team and that we loved each other very much, but we had gotten off track.”

In an interview with Good Morning America, Nancy Jones talks more about what Sandy needed to get off her chest in the book:

Interviewer: You even talk with some women who talk about their husband's infidelity. Even Sandy Brooks, Garth Brooks' wife. And he publicly admitted his own infidelity. Nancy: Yes, he did, and in the book it also tells how Sandy dealt with it and how he dealt with it at first when he announced it. I mean, gosh, you get on TV and announce it, it's definitely embarrassing. She dealt with it and she tells how she still deals with a lot of things out there. Just imagine being married to Garth Brooks and all the women screaming and hollering for him.

Garth's "Chris Gaines" project, which is supposed to be a lead-in to a movie, is announced in February:

Garth Brooks’ new album, a pop release that will serve as a prequel soundtrack to the movie “The Lamb," will lead off with both a pop and a country single, according to Brooks. The Don Was-produced album, which features Brooks singing as Chris Gaines, the lead character in the movie, will be called “Garth Brooks in the Life of Chris Gaines.” The idea, says Brooks, is that by the time the movie comes out next year, people will recognize the songs as well as have a constant reminder that the movie is coming. (National Post)

(Though the Gaines album is initially supposed to get released in May 1999, it is pushed back several months. It will become a joke to the general public despite the commercial success of the album. The movie "The Lamb" will never end up being filmed.)

March 1999

When Garth and Sandy's divorce is filed in 2000, the documents will state that they had been quietly separated since March 1999. It appears that in the ensuing months, the two were still closely co-parenting and weighing the future of their marriage.

In Garth's documentary "The Road I'm On," Sandy says they had grown apart due to his constant career endeavors taking him away:

"When you’re not there on a daily basis, even a weekly basis, to communicate feelings… those were some lonely times."

While publicly Garth is gearing up for the Chris Gaines project, Trisha also takes on a different career move with an acting appearance in the TV show "JAG." In an article profiling her time on the show, Trisha and Garth are quoted about each other:

"The artist I would want to work with - every day, every night - is Trisha Yearwood," Garth Brooks says flatly.

“We have always just clicked,” Yearwood said. “The first time we sang together, it was like we had always sung together.” They’ve continued to do occasional duets. Yearwood opened for Brooks last year, singing to throngs. “In Minneapolis, we had 190,000 people over nine days,” she said. (Lansing State Journal)

An article mentions that Trisha's husband and parents are there when she is inducted into the Grand Ole Opry on March 13. I cannot find anything showing whether Garth was there, but he does offer this quote:

“I’m so happy for Trisha because she gets what it means to be a member, and I’m so happy for the Opry because they’re getting the highest in class and quality in return. It’s going to be a good marriage.”

May 1999

Amid their private separation, Sandy accompanies Garth to the ACM Awards where he wins Entertainer of the Year and Artist of the Decade. While in January he was still wearing his wedding ring, in May his finger is now bare.

During his speech to accept the Artist of the Decade award, Garth says, “I’ve got to turn to my wife, Sandy, and say thank you for a wonderful decade.”

In response, Sandy mouths, “I love you.”

He then says, “As far as a partner in the 90s music-wise, Trisha, I can’t thank you any more for the friendship you’ve shown me.”

June 1999

Trisha and her husband's band The Mavericks play a fundraiser for makeup artist Joel Green, who is battling cancer.

September 1999

Robert sits with Trisha at the CMA Awards on September 22 where she is nominated for Female Vocalist (losing to Martina McBride).

October 1999

Just two weeks after the CMAs, Trisha files for divorce from Robert. It is announced on October 5:

Country star Trisha Yearwood and her husband Robert Reynolds are calling it quits. Her publicist issued a statement Tuesday saying that the couple “filed for divorce today citing irreconcilable difference.” The statement also says, “The couple asks that their privacy be respected during this very personal and difficult time.” The two married in May 1994.

News of the divorce will set off a flurry of tabloid stories and rumors surrounding Garth and Trisha, even as he works out his separation from Sandy for another year.

For Part 2 click here.

#garth brooks #trisha yearwood

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why-so-serious-lucifer · 4 months

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K-pop Discography Deep Dives: Jonghyun

Since this is a very special review, I wanted to start off not with my “credentials” or with a disclaimer but with a story. I’ve been a casual k-pop fan since early 2019 and a deeper fan since March of the year after, when I discovered Red Velvet. In late November of 2020, during lockdown, I lost one of the people I loved most in the world. I was still a teenager (barely younger than Jonghyun was when he debuted in SHINee), and I felt alone and isolated, and I became depressed. And just three weeks later, on December 18th, I was scrolling on social media when I came across posts memorializing Jonghyun. I had heard him mentioned, through Yeri of RV, but had never taken the time to listen, and I finally did.

I saw people mourning, people celebrating, and most of all, people remembering. The k-pop world had just lost two more idols to suicide, Sulli and Hara, and the messages surrounding mental health had never been stronger. It was this that got through to me, like a lightbulb going off, and I went, “Shit, I think I have depression.” And I started taking medication. Now, I’m not going to credit him with saving my life because I have no idea what would’ve happened, but I try to continue what he did for me. But all I can do is what all of us can do, which is remember who he was, respect the art he created, and continue the great advocacy he started. So, in this review, I’m trying to do all three, and I’d love it if you came along with me.

Crazy (Guilty Pleasure) is first on the list, and immediately had me feeling nostalgic. There’s something about his voice that’s so instantly recognizable, and a song like this that oscillates between his more subdued style and the strong emotions of the chorus fits it so well. Surprisingly, I enjoyed the rap, probably because of the vocalizing behind it, which helped it blend in seamlessly. On the whole, I liked this one! Its strings and immaculate sense of drama reminded me of Taylor Swift’s Don’t Blame Me.

Deja Boo begins with Jonghyun’s classic sound of smooth R & B and his crooning voice. I enjoyed the constant starting and stopping of the instrumental, as it made what could be a boring song far more interesting, and while I’m not usually a fan of rapping or choruses so heavy on vocalizing, I actually liked both here, since they felt like they were there because they fit the song and not because someone thought that they “should” be. The “Okay, next” at the end gave me a good chuckle

It’s a testament to how strong this first EP is that, before this deep dive, I had no idea which of these songs were actually the title track. Beautiful Tonight’s distinctive whistling hook, Hallelujah’s beautiful gospel choir back-up, and Love Belt’s gentle words (and references to a real car accident that Jonghyun was in) all do something unique with what could be such simple R & B melodies, ensuring that the piece feels cohesive but never same-y. My favorite was definitely Neon, though, whose funky catchiness snuck up on me, and I ended up replaying it twice.

End Of A Day has always been one of my favorite singles of Jonghyun’s, and I’m not alone. There are few songs as heartfelt, and led by only his quiet, comforting voice and a gentle piano, it feels like a warm hug from someone you love. Telling the listener to “lean on my shoulder” and “let me cheer you up”, it features Jonghyun at perhaps his most earnest. I paused what I was doing for a few minutes just to appreciate the peace that this one radiates, and take a deep breath in and out.

The Collection “Story Op.1” is so called because it was written by Jonghyun based on the stories the listeners of his radio show Blue Night confided in him; it’s a very special album for that reason, because it truly feels like a group effort between him and fans. I enjoyed U & I’s sprightly piano, interesting percussion, and cozy guitar, Diphylleia Grayi’s gorgeously sad lyrics and strings, the falling rain sound effects and comfortable energy of 02:34 (which I think was my favorite), and the interpolated phone conversation in Maybe Tomorrow. This is one of my favorite albums of his, and has some of his most excellent imagery.

She Is, despite being super popular, is not a song of his I’ve listened to much. It leans more into funk and is lighter than his other singles (Crazy, End Of Day, Lonely, and Shinin’), being about having a crush. It’s a nice break from the sadder and darker aspects of his discography, and it’s also really catchy. I even liked the sing-talk aspects, though my favorite part was definitely the vocalizing in the post-choruses.

From the She Is album, I liked the “you, you, you” and finger-snapping in White T-Shirt, the ethereal quality of Moon, the layers of falsetto vocalizing in Aurora, the intentional vocal fry and minimalistic background of Cocktail, the sped-up quality of Red, and the vulnerability in Suit Up.

I admit that when listening to the She Is album, a part of me had forgotten the reason I was doing this review in the first place, but Lonely had me remember immediately. Lonely is, in hindsight, both gut wrenching and haunting, with its lyrics about feeling isolated and alone. It’s a beautiful song, don’t get me wrong—the piano is so lovely and Taeyeon and Jonghyun’s voices work beautifully together, each making the other sound richer—but it’s one of those tracks that you just can’t listen to more than once in a while.

The Collection “Story Op.2” follows where the first collection left off, with more stories inspired by the callers on his radio show. I enjoyed the calm guitar of 1000 and the gentle groove of Just Chill, but Let Me Out has been one of my favorite songs since the first time I heard it. It’s one of the most genuine, gripping, painfully open k-pop ballads I’ve seen, and it never fails to make me want to reach through the screen and say “No.”. Overall, though, this album is definitely a more subdued and peaceful album, although I might be imagining more melancholy with the benefit of hindsight.

Less than eight months after the release of his second collection was, again, December 18th, 2017. It’s a day that’s become so infamous that in the k-pop community just saying “December 18th” will likely get your message across. It gives me no joy to say that he had a plan; his last album, Poet | Artist was released just a month after he left the world; a final gift to the fans who had watched him grow up for both so long and not nearly long enough.

Shinin’ is the single from the album, and uses a glowing, minimalistic electronic synth background that expands with some percussion in its choruses. Jonghyun’s voice is at some of its smoothest here. It’s one of those songs that’s happy and sad at the same time, and its happiness feels…muted? It’s hard not to be emotional when the song ends with “always be with you, you, you.” Without the story behind it, it’s a simple love song. With it, it’s a promise that he’s managed to keep for the last six years. I do admit that I got a good laugh out of the super 80’s animation, though.

Before Our Spring wasn’t intended to be a single, but after his passing, SM Entertainment decided to make it a tribute video for him. It follows in the footsteps of End Of Day, as it’s a peaceful, piano-led ballad, but undeniably heartbreaking: “Before spring comes, before the sun rises, I’ll meet you when everyone is asleep. I’m okay, don’t worry, spring will come to me too.” I hope it does. Depending on the day, sometimes I listen to it and feel comforted, and sometimes I listen to it and just feel heartbroken. Thankfully, watching it with the video made it just a little easier. It’s good to hear him laugh.

Poet | Artist is Jonghyun’s last, posthumous album, and is one of his strongest. I loved the disco-y synths of Only One You Need, the tongue-in-cheek humor of #Hashtag, the chorus’ explosion in Grease, the ethereal encouragement in Take The Dive, the brighter and funkier delivery of Sightseeing, and the quietly anthemic quality of Just For A Day.

My top 5 songs from Jonghyun are End Of Day, Only One You Need, Take The Dive, Hallelujah, and U & I, with Neon and Let Me Out as honorable mentions. Jonghyun’s work gets a 9.25 out of 10 from me, which is probably about as surprising as TWICE announcing a comeback. In all seriousness though, I know that I’m super biased, but hey, we started with a sob story and that’s how we’re going to end.

I can’t really put into words the feelings I have about this review. Writing it has reminded me how grateful I am, not only that I found Jonghyun and his story, not only that I became a Shawol, but that I became a k-pop fan in general. As Jonghyun wrote in his book (which I haven’t been able to find a full English translation of yet, but I’m still trying), “Even though we can’t communicate using the same language, we use music instead.”

Jonghyun broke boundaries in k-pop, with his openness, his self-producing, his prolific writing, and his advocacy. Both our community and the world as a whole was very lucky to have him for as long as we did, which still wasn’t nearly long enough. He changed the lives of so many people—he changed mine, without me even knowing who he was at the time he passed away—and overall, he made the world just a little easier for everybody else, no matter how hard it was for himself. All this is to say, he did very, very well.

I’ll be taking a break next week because it’s the holidays, so I’ll see you again in the new year for a girl group, folks. Thank you so much for reading, and please, take care. Tschüss, und Fröhliche Weihnachten (Happy Holidays)!

#k-pop #review #k-pop deep dive #k pop boy groups #Jonghyun #SHINee #Onew #Taemin #Minho #key #shining #Shinin #let me out #lonely #end of day #she is #depression #tw: suicide mention #Spotify

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7grandmel · 2 months

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Todays rip: 21/02/2024

As Miku Collides

Season 1 Featured on: GilvaSunner's Highest Quality Video Game Rips: Volume 3 & Knigra Also on: Hatsilva Miku: Ripping DIVA

Ripped by Chaze the Chat, Eziam One, Can of Nothing

youtube

There's a certain...important date coming up tomorrow, one that I've been planning toward for almost a month now, and one I'm shocked I wasn't made aware of until just that recently. To those reading who are unaware, rest easy, it will all be revealed in due time tomorrow, and to those who are: consider this post a sort of prelude of what's to come. I was unsure of which rips to feature for this date, or if I should just cover all my options in one big post, yet I decided it best to split things up for distribution's sake. None of that really matters for today though - what matters today, is As Miku Collides, SiIvaGunner, and the oft-forgotten band of Kara's Flowers.

The SiIvaGunner channel, for as much of a collaborative effort as it truly is, still owes so much of its identity to original channel owner Chaze the Chat. SiIvaGunner was never wholly the brainchild of one sole contributor in particular, yet so much of what drove it from the early days can be traced back to just this one dorky guy and his passions, his sense of humor, his friendships - and most importantly, his interests. Chaze the Chat's affection for Maroon 5 is common knowledge to anyone who's followed SiIvaGunner for as long as I have, and it resulted in much of their music being featured prominently on SiIvaGunner even during its infancy, with rips such as Moves Like K.K. and Everyday Goodbyes (SiIvaGunner Band Cover). Yet for as fun and frequent as mashups of the former kind consistently are and were, it was the latter rip in particular that stuck with me since its release for just how...strange it was in comparison to everything else. In a year filled with cynicism, on a channel themed primarily around the silliness of the bait-and-switch, where even its emotional highs were tied to memes and mischief, Everyday Goodbyes (SiIvaGunner Band Cover) is so...sincere, in its intentions and execution. It's a release Chaze the Chat was evidently very proud of too, given its repeated album releases, yet the tribute was entirely lost on me back in the day. It was good music, a stellar performance by everyone involved, but...why?

A few years later, I'd find myself listening through all of the SiIvaGunner channel's albums as a way to refresh myself on its history and best rips - and practically stumbled upon As Miku Collides in the process. Even back then, I could feel that particular Season 1 roughness to it - the joke and edit isn't all too complex, the vocaloid tuning on Miku herself leaves something to be desired, and the album itself contained several other excellent Vocaloid rips such as Rolling Start on it to divert my attention. Yet there was something in As Miku Collides that just...enamored me, wrapped around me like a digital blanket. A cover of this mysterious song that I'd never before heard, one where the emotion behind the vocals are unmissable even filtered through Vocaloid, with a hypnotically beautiful main melody, an endlessly beckoning call for help from the skies above. A song that Chaze the Chat himself felt was important enough to comment the full lyrics to on the YouTube upload, a YouTube upload that still sits below 10K views despite being close to eight years old now. There's Sixty-five comments there, yet only a scarce few seem to have even known what they were even commenting on.

You may already have put the pieces together by now. As Miku Collides, released five months before Everyday Goodbyes (SiIvaGunner Band Cover), was one of the channel's first-ever tributes to the band Kara's Flowers, the band that after failing to find success would eventually morph into the far more successful - and oft derided - Maroon 5 in the 2000s. And though the band's discography under the Maroon 5 name was inevitably more recognizable to the average SiIvaGunner viewer through sheer presence on the radio, with hits like Harder To Breathe 64, Siiva Lining and Sunday Morning, that didn't seem to deter Chaze nor anyone else on the team more intimately familiar with the band's origins. Kara's Flower's discography, be it Soap Disco, Everyday Goodbyes, or of course As Things Collide kept receiving tributes on the channel throughout Season 1, despite how few subscribers seemed to truly be picking up on what was actually happening. Just like I asked back when with Everyday Goodbyes (SiIvaGunner Band Cover), the question remains...

Why?

The answer, you'll find, is simple:

Because Chaze the Chat loves Kara's Flowers.

Because, beyond what I earlier inferred about his influence on the channel - Season 1 of SiIvaGunner, at its core, was a melting pot of nerds sharing whatever things they loved, not just with one another but with us as the viewers, mixed into the channel's high rate of uploads. Amidst all the Flintstones, Nutshacks and other relevant memes, you had ShonicTH's love for Kingdom Hearts shining through in all that he did, including Trial of the Heart; you had dante's love for Hiroyuki Sawano in rips like 9来4s; you had Uncle Fill's love for Hotel Dusk, expressed in any way possible through Violet Snow Memories; you had Jass' love for Sega Genesis music and Sonic CD in projects like CD Grand Beta and Collision Chaos Good Future JP [CD Beta Mix]. And, in the center of it all, you had Chaze the Chat, Maroon 5, Kara's Flowers, and As Miku Collides.

Really, what we were taught by the Reboot, by the first storyline of the entire SiIvaGunner channel, was nothing more than the channel's purest essence of: one that was at its strongest in its first year, yet remains as the channel's beating heart eight Seasons in. None of us, in the audience as fans, have any right to demand what SiIvaGunner creates, no right to assume that SiIvaGunner's creators and contributors ought to bend to our whims. As Miku Collides, and all the rips like it, by all the rippers on the team and out, were made with the pure intent of spreading love for one's own little world of interests - and in this case in particular, it grabbed me in a way I never thought possible. Flawed as it may be, I'm eternally happy to have been given the chance by Chaze the Chat, by Eziam One, by Mellorine, to experience the seldom-remembered soul of Kara's Flowers.

'Cause I've spoken with all the other angels They don't know what to do...

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thececeverse · 24 days

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THE FIRST ALBUM … ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

SINCERELY is the debut album by CHOUKA AIKAWA. Released on July 26th, 2024 by Republic Records, it has since been hailed as one of the best and most unexpected debut albums of the year. The album’s concepts, subject matter, and even packaging were all praised by critics, and its release cemented Chouka as one of the industry’s newest pop princesses.

TRACKLIST … ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

GIRLS DON’T CRY

CAKE

SINCERELY ! LEAD SINGLE

EYES ON ME ! SECOND SINGLE

LUXURIOUS

RETURN TO SENDER ! BONUS SINGLE

SILK ‘N DIAMONDS

CELEBRITY

VALLEY OF THE DOLLS

STRAWBERRIES AND CREAM ! THIRD SINGLE

G.O.Y.D (GIRL OF YOUR DREAMS) ! FOURTH SINGLE

HEART ON MY SLEEVE

PHOTOCARDS … ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

COMMERCIAL PERFORMANCE … ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

Album of the year! Chouka truly brought girly pop music back, and everyone agreed. Sincerely—like her debut single—was a huge success. The album was announced just a month prior to its release through a video Chouka posted to her social media accounts. It featured her writing a link onto a pink card before signing it, and the same link could be found in the captions of each post. Turns out, it was a link to preorder the album. At around the same time, Chouka’s website was updated with the link, along with the album’s title and cover art.

Now this news went viral, with the term “she’s releasing an album” being Tweeted over 500,000 times. Within a week, Sincerely had garnered over 400,000 preorders, and it had hit over one million by July.

Three weeks prior to the album’s release, Chouka posted a silent video of herself in a studio in Sweden, along with a few-second snippet of one of the instrumentals to her album. The post gained over 3.5 million likes within the first 24 hours, and it garnered over two million views on Twitter.

The album’s title track and lead single, “Sincerely,” was released a day before the album dropped. Like Chouka’s debut single, this song was also a massive hit. The music video—which was shot at the Palace of Versailles and inspired by Marie Antoinette (2006), the fashion of Rococo-era France, and Madonna’s VMAs performance of “Vogue” in 1990—garnered over 40 million views within the first day, surpassing “Girls Don’t Cry.” It topped YouTube’s trending page, and topped both the Spotify and Apple Music charts. Chouka would end up breaking Olivia Rodrigo’s record, with “Sincerely” becoming the highest streamed song on Spotify in regards to first day streams.

Like its predecessor, “Sincerely” topped charts in numerous countries, and it remained atop the Oricon charts for a staggering sixteen weeks. The song was leagues more popularity online in comparison to “Girls Don’t Cry,” which—to the surprise of Chouka and her fans—led to her first No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100. Upon the song’s debut, it had sold over 300,000 units, and would go on to sell 1.5 million by mid-September.

“Sincerely” would be praised for its catchiness and sound reminiscent of early 1990s house music, with critics calling it “the 21st century’s answer to ‘Vogue.’” The song was also praised for the carefree, cheeky, indulgent, and “I don’t give a fuck” tone that it set for the rest of Chouka’s album, despite not being the opening track.

Of course, the album’s other singles also did just as well! “Eyes on Me” was definitely a crowd favorite, with many praising its unapologetic “girlishness,” comparing it to singing alone in a pink, frilly bedroom. The song’s music video was the main talking point, though, as so many people loved the references to various nineties and 2000s chick flicks, such as: Clueless, Jawbreaker, Legally Blonde, Mean Girls, A Cinderella Story, Uptown Girls, and 13 Going on 30.

“Eyes on Me” would debut at No. 2 on the iTunes chart and No. 5 on the Billboard Hot 100, but it would top charts everywhere else, including on the Billboard Hot 100 Excl. US chart. It stayed on the charts for four weeks before falling off completely.

“Strawberries and Cream” debuted at No. 11 on the Billboard chart, unfortunately not cracking into the Top 10. “G.O.Y.D” fared much better, however, debuting at No. 8 on the chart. Like before, both songs entered the Top 10 in other countries outside America.

The cherry on top was the music videos, though. They were all filmed to appear as if they were their own individual short films, all connecting to form an overarching story about love and relationships. “Sincerely” begins with Chouka writing a love letter to someone and preparing to send it off. “Eyes on Me” starts with her slipping the letter into a mailbox. “Strawberries and Cream” deals with her receiving a letter back, but it turns out to be a rejection, which causes her to tear the letter up (it turns out to be a fake version of the letter). “G.O.Y.D” (which was notably inspired by various Old Hollywood films such as Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, Funny Face, and Breakfast at Tiffany’s) has Chouka convincing herself that she doesn’t need a man and that her crush missed out, and she writes a scathing letter in return, but in the end, she decides to not send it.

Critics were in love with every MV, and Rosettes were all down Twitter absolutely singing their praises. They were praised for their clearly expensive visuals, along with the movie style cinematography, themes, aesthetics, and overall story. Each MV broke into the Top 10 of YouTube’s trending page, and each obviously received millions of views (unfortunately, though, “Strawberries and Cream” had the least).

Overall, the album was a resounding success. Fans were unsure if the praise that “Girls Don’t Cry” received could be sustained with the release of an album, especially since it was a larger project that Chouka had never tackled before. Clearly, though, she had surpassed everyone’s expectations. And, of course, Rosettes were thrilled that she finally got that No. 1 single.

STYLING … ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

ERA HIGHLIGHTS … ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

Girl this era was everything!

First off, the promotion for this album was heavy. Y’all thought “Girls Don’t Cry” was huge? Well, damn, this blew miss girl out the water!

Chouka was all over televisions across America, and in other countries, as well! She had an interview with Kelly Clarkson (again), she was on GMA, she was on The Zach Sang Show, she did the Buzzfeed puppy interview, she did a “What’s In My Bag” with Vogue Japan (again!), she had five hundred magazine interviews … like girl, Chouka was doing it all!

She performed on TRL for the second time, and that was just a precursor to all the award show performances that she would give.

You know how Chouka didn’t get a chance to perform at Coachella because she only had two songs to her name at that point? Well know she has twelve, and she scored a set at Lollapalooza!

She had such a blast, girl. Like the way Rosettes turned out for her was truly insane … like to the point where she was tearing up onstage. And that barely happens! She had so much fun during her set, though, especially since the fanchants were so loud and her costumes were so good! She also performed on the same stage as Melanie Martinez, so of course she got to meet her!

And of course Chouka had to do overseas promo too! Her first stop was Japan, so she was on Music Station again, she had a cute little photoshoot with Marie Claire, and she also appeared on her first variety show! Her episode was so fun like literally she’s so charming.

Japanese Rosettes have mutually decided that every time she has a comeback, they have to organize a café pop-up. So that’s exactly what they did!

Like last time Chouka went, she signed some autographs and took pictures … just had a great time!

Chouka made a stop in Korea again! We cheer! Although her music show appearances were (once again) limited, as she only performed four times, she still got to meet so many idols! They were all down her TikTok doing the “#SincerelyChallenge,” and some of the most notable were Julie from Kiss of Life, Xiaoting and Bahiyyih of Kepler, Chungha, literally every member of Haute Pink (@hauteplnk), and Baebi and Sena of Venus (@venusvity)! Additionally, she also held another fansign! Over 13,000 fans attended this one, and Chouka received so many gifts! Like literally, the back wall was covered in bouquets and pink gift bags by the end.

She had another photoshoot with Céci (she was literally on every magazine cover this era) and shot a campaign for Etude House while there, and she was supposed to appear on Knowing Bros but couldn’t due to scheduling conflicts … sigh.

However! There was news going around that Chouka had agreed to star in an upcoming drama! Rumor has it that her co-star is supposed to be Cha Eun-woo so!

Chouka was also in Brazil for Lollapalooza, too. And the vibe was even better in comparison to the US sjuwjhdhe. Like Brazilian Rosettes absolutely adored her, and her Portuguese was surprisingly good! She just had an absolute great time … she was even doing football chants with the crowd too like we love her!

After she came back to the US, she went straight to award shows. She first went to VMAs, and girl, she was literally that girl of the night. Like she was wearing pink archive Versace! She looked so good on that carpet, and she stood there and posed for so long that Jason had to drag her away jsjwjjsjs. It’s not her fault that the photographers were hyping her up!

Chouka was actually a co-host that night, and she presented an award, so rest assured that she was changing outfits like eight times. And they were all in shades of pink, ofc! She also won her first music award ever, as she won the award for Best Pop!

Like girl she beat out Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, Olivia Rodrigo … Rosettes were on Twitter yelling!

Her performance was towards the end since of course the VMAs had to extend their watch time (every time Chouka appears on something Rosettes will literally flock to watch it), but when it happened? Oh, the girls were simply not ready!

Taking heavy inspiration from Madonna’s 1990 VMAs performance of “Vogue,” she had Marie Antoinette written all over her. The performance first started with an extended intro of “Sincerely,” and with male backup dancers performing vogue-style choreography. They suddenly stop and bow, and Chouka comes out from backstage with four female dancers (her court, of course). Her hair is piled up high and powdered pink, and she’s dressed in this absolutely huge, Rococo-era gown! Unlike Madonna’s “Vogue” performance, though, after the start of the first verse, Chouka rips off the skirt to reveal a shorter one!

Like “Girls Don’t Cry,” subtle costume changes were very common this era, along with Chouka’s use of paper fans for every live performance. And speaking of fans, every time she did the “#SincerelyChallenge” with someone else, she would give them a fan, too! And they got to keep it as a gift. ♡

She next went to the AMAs and had a great time (won New Artist of the Year, too!), and she even got a chance to attend the MAMAs! She performed at the ceremony in Japan and had a killer dance break, and she was also reunited with Haute Pink again! They were sat next to each other at the ceremony in Hong Kong, and they were chatting the entire night. Chouka is truly their secret seventh member at this point.

The last thing Chouka did before her tour started was attend Jingle Ball! Of course, like every time before, she had fun! Rosettes turned up in droves, and they even got a little gift bag as thanks. Although not all of them got something because Chouka’s team underestimated how many people were actually going to be there … but at least there was a handwritten letter in there!

She was supposed to attend New Year’s Rockin’ Eve, but she wanted to rest before her tour. And also she spent New Year’s in London so she wouldn’t have been able to go anyways sjiwjsjjd.

Her tour (which was titled the Return to Sender Tour and girl, people noticed that!) started at the beginning of next year, and unfortunately, it was pretty short and limited only to North America, Asia, and parts of Europe (including Italy, luckily). Despite that, though, it was a cute and fun little tour! Chouka actually sold out every show on her roster, which was surprising to her but unsurprising to everyone else. Like yes, girl, people do like your music!

Now after Chouka’s tour ended, Rosettes thought that was it. However, nothing’s ever it for her snjwjjeje like y’all should know this by now!

“Return to Sender” (the tour was named that for a reason!) was released as a bonus single sometime in March, and everyone ate it up. They were so invested in the lore at this point, and since the letter Chouka ripped up in “Strawberries and Cream” was revealed to be a fake in “G.O.Y.D,” they were all wondering what happened to it! And Rosettes could finally breathe a sigh of relief since they finally got their answer.

In “G.O.Y.D,” Chouka was trying to convince herself that she didn’t need a man, but in “Return to Sender,” she knew she didn’t need one! As the title implies, in the MV, she literally sent the rejection letter back! Like she truly did not care! It actually ends in the same boudoir that “Sincerely” started off in, and it ends with Chouka writing herself a love letter instead!

It was truly such a cute little message. Rosettes were in love with her character’s progression from being lovestruck to being unbothered and okay with self-love like we love that here!

Since we got a bonus single completely out of nowhere, Rosettes were hoping and praying that either “Heart on My Sleeve” or “Silk ‘N Diamonds” would be released as singles, too. Unfortunately for all of us, though, that literally never happened. And when I tell you Rosettes were so pissed off at her, I mean it jsiwjejjdjs.

However, “Silk ‘N Diamonds” would get its flowers in due time, no need to worry!

Like “Girls Don’t Cry,” the creation and subsequent promotion of Sincerely was all covered on a documentary, which was released on Chouka’s music channel! It was shot more professionally this time and didn’t have any personal footage by her, but it was still a great doc! A lot of celebrities made appearances (such as SZA and Taylor Swift!), and throughout the entire documentary, you can tell just how well Chouka handles stress. Truly the most admirable girl on the planet.

Jason was with her every step of the way, and we love him for that. He was always reassuring her, taking care of things for her, making sure that she wasn’t overworked … like he was literally starting to act like Chouka’s second manager and she had to tell him to slow down hshejjejs.

He quite literally has a fandom of his own within Chouka’s fandom! Like he’s so beloved to the point where every time he showed up during one of Chouka’s schedules, Rosettes would cheer for him, too!

By the end of the era, Chouka held a huge beach party in Spain to celebrate a successful era, and half the industry pulled up! Everyone had to wear pink (of course shwjjdjs), and the party literally went on to three in the morning. It was just so incredibly fun, and every guest got a signed copy of the album, a box of Dior perfume, and a rose! Some notable guests were Paris Hilton, Bella Hadid, the Haute Pink girls, and Klara of Venus!

All in all, what an amazing era! Chouka once again proved that she was the It girl, and she blew everyone’s expectations out the water. Sincerely was truly one of the best and most surprising debuts in history, and fans couldn’t wait to see what else she had in store. ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗

#˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ COME INTO THE VERSE !#˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ CHAR … CHOUKA !#DISCOGRAPHY … CHOUKA !#kpop oc #kpop oc soloist #kpop soloist #kpop solo artist #kpop idol oc #fake kpop idol #fictional kpop oc #fictional kpop idol #idol oc #idol soloist #idol oc soloist #idolverse #fake idol #fake idol oc #fictional idol oc #fictional idol community

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sophiasharp · 10 months

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Magic Headcanons with the Papas

Part 4: Copia

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Glow-up of the century. Buckle up cause I have too many thoughts.

Had a very rough relationship with magic the majority of his life. It was clear early on that he had the same incredible power inside of him that his brothers have. If he had been given the same tutelage that they’d had, he would have been a fearsome caster indeed.

Unfortunately, since Imperator was still hiding his existence from his father, he was NOT given that same tutelage early on and, as a result, when he did eventually gain access to magic classes, he was a bit… stunted.

What should have come naturally to him instead came out awkward and disjointed. The majority of the time, his spells didn’t hold for very long or weren’t very strong. Where most of his peers could hold a fire in the palm of their hand, he could barely light a candle.

Every once in a while, though, a spell would come out too strong. To continue that candle analogy, for every 9 times that Copia couldn’t light a wick to safe his life, he would set a classroom on fire. That totally didn’t happen once and didn’t earn him the nickname Little Sparkie Sideburns, idk what you’re talking about.

As you can imagine, this led Copia to developing a sort of performance anxiety when it came to casting, which made his casting worse, which gave him more anxiety, and yeah it just kinda spiraled from there.

This did not stop his overall study of magic, however! Still having quite the fancy with it as a concept, he took to studying each type as much as he physically could in the form of books; just cause you can’t do it yourself doesn’t mean you have to give up entirely!

Became a walking encyclopedia for anything magic. Whenever Terzo had trouble understanding a certain aspect of a spell or ritual, Copia would be able to clear it up for him and help him practice. In return, Terzo helped him improve his own relationship with magic, away from judging eyes.

Over the years, he found a loophole to his skill issue: while his standalone manipulation of magic still fluctuated out of his control, casting spells as rituals would stable it out- something about having a set of clear instructions to follow in an exact order helped him focus.

As he got more confident in rituals, his standalone casting got better as well. It wasn’t quite where he wanted to be, but it was a vast improvement from where he was and he was proud of that. He was comfortable with himself.

Now, hypothetically, let’s say something drastic happened that could completely throw Copia’s carefully curated balance off. Say, oh I don’t know, the death of a loved one? Or three?

Yeah the sudden “passing” of all three of his brothers kinda sorta fucked him up a bit. Dude was completely incapable of casting a spell without causing massive damage for, like, the first three months after. Even his ritual casting was more unstable than it had ever been.

Lucky for him, he wasn’t asked to perform much magic since he was busy touring and writing a new album. The only real magic he was charged with was the summoning of the new ghouls for Ghost. Imperator and Nihil should consider themselves lucky that the only fuck-ups were a multi-ghoul and an extra air ghoulette, that could have gone a lot worse!

As luck would have it, however, his relationship with the band ghouls would be the best thing to happen to him. They all helped him reconnect with and handle his magic in a whole new way, giving him newfound confidence not only in his capabilities but in himself.

It was still a rocky road so to speak, especially with Nihil “#1 Copia Hater” Emeritus with them. Things came to a head while on the last leg and GOD I’d love to write that out but this is getting too long so long story short Copia snapped and for a second there he was right back where he started. However, again, he had his ghouls by his side to put him back together stronger than he’d been before.

Copia’s ascension as Papa was the final boost he needed to truly cement his newfound relationship with his magic. It was like a door that had been closed his entire life was finally opened. What used to be a struggle now came as easy as breathing. What’s more, all those years of studying in books translated astonishingly well once he had a handle on himself. As a result, while all of his brothers had one or maybe two types of magic that they specialized in, he’s equally good at all of them.

Having said that, he has found Abjuration and Transmutation to be the most satisfying to cast. Does he have much reason to use either of these magic types? No. Is it fun to turn Swiss into a speed demon and set him loose on the abbey to scare the daylights out of Nihil’s ghost? Fuck yeah it is.

Before his sudden power-up, his magic had the sound of crackling fire to it and looked like red dust or silt suspended in the air. After his spat with Nihil, however, his magic took on a completely different sensory quality. The crackling of fire was replaced with the the sound of shattering glass; the stronger the spell, the louder and longer the sound resonates. The aesthetic has changed to look like two metallic wires swirling around him: one gold and one blue.

#the band ghost #ghost the band #ghost band #band ghost #ghost bc #the band ghost headcanons #ghost headcanons #papa emeritus copia #papa emeritus VI #Papa Copia #Cardinal Copia #ghost papa VI #ghost cardinal copia #Sharp's Headcanons

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mccoys-killer-queen · 9 months

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Give Me the Lights (Tommy x Reader)- Part 1

Words: 2,905

Summary: You live with Tommy on his farm in Michigan in the late 70s. It's almost time to start recording the next Styx album, but trying to make music seems to be Tommy's enemy lately. He's not acting like himself, and you know something's not right...

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(Michigan, March 1979)

It happens every year; the month of March is cold and gloomy, yet everyone is always surprised. People normally expect it to be springtime the second March rolls around, but mother nature— purely out of spite— never lives up to this expectation. Humanity is normally fed up with the winter gloom by this point of the year, so they like to forget that the majority of the month still qualifies as winter.

When it came to the inevitable winter gloom, one could normally head indoors in order to escape it. A nice blanket, warm lighting, and a different view were the best ways to do this. You couldn't do this, though.

The refuge of your own house didn't help alleviate the dreary, early March gloom- because the gloom was now incarnate as a person, and this person lived in the house with you.

Those winter blues had taken the form of your darling boyfriend, and despite the bright golden hair on his head, it seemed the rest of his shine was gone.

You had never known Tommy to experience seasonal depression before, but his strange behavior seemed to fit the bill quite well to you. Often over the past few weeks, you had picked up on him acting rather... differently. He was eating less, sleeping more, and showing little interest or emotion in just about everything.

There was currently a new Styx album in the process of conception. Tommy had been eager to get back to work and get lost in his own musical embryos as much as he pleased. This was normally an infallible source of joy for your bright-eyed lover, so the fact that you rarely heard his strumming or singing these days concerned you just a little.

You often caught him sleeping in much later than usual, or just caught him in bed too often in general. Nearly every time this happened, there tended to be a guitar on the floor across the room. He'd tell you he was "just tired", but he seemed to be tired all the time lately.

In addition to his lack of energy and interest in his music, you noticed he had elevated crankiness on some days, too. This side of him would sometimes make an appearance as frustration with an instrument, while other times he'd express self-doubt while attempting to write a song. Even something as simple as cursing out the washing machine or the weatherman let you know how he was feeling inside. A few times, he'd even been short with you over minute things that didn't seem to matter in the past.

What really raised your concern was when you realized that his typical, toothy grins hadn't made any appearances for a while.

Since there was rarely sunshine or warmth at this time in the season, you thought it made sense that a man from the south- who was practically made of sunshine- was acting a bit dulled down. It was no secret that Tommy was a nature-loving man, so you wondered if this meant that when the surrounding nature was down in the dumps, so was he.

You also wondered if he was aware of this himself.

One evening, you softly confronted the subject of his mood problems. You told him you had picked up on how upset and tired he appeared lately, and carefully asked him if something was wrong.

Almost immediately, he became teary-eyed at your intervention. He couldn't deny what you were inquiring about; he was well aware of it himself, and had been for some time.

The ensuing conversation resulted in a lot of physical tenderness from you, and a lot of venting from him. He confessed that he'd been feeling so indescribably "down" lately— both mentally and physically— and that he couldn't seem to be musically productive no matter what.

"I feel so empty-" Tommy told you, head in hands as you held him close, "-like there's nothing left inside me. And my body feels so heavy that I don't wanna move at all. I don't feel like myself, and I can't even tell you why- because I don't even know! Everyone else seems to be doing fine, and then there's me— who just wants to sulk for no reason, can't get out of bed, or write a song to save my life right now."

In addition, he threw in a grumpy comment about the monotonous weather being equivalent to purgatory. It was here you proposed that he might be suffering from a classic case of seasonal depression, and that it was probably interfering with everything; his creativity, his mood, and his energy. You also explained that, since he was acclimated to the mild winters of Alabama, his body wasn't used to being stuck in a real winter like this.

Tommy looked both surprised and a little guilty at your inference, but admitted you were probably right.

"I'm really sorry, Y/n," he shook his head as he dropped his vision with a sniff, "I know I've been so pathetic lately-"

His eyes sprung open in surprise as you covered his mouth with your hand.

You used your other hand to wipe the wetness from under his eyes, "You're not gonna call yourself pathetic, and you're not gonna apologize for something you can't control, okay?"

He squinted in confusion, then sighed from under your hand and nodded with closed eyes. You uncovered his mouth and kissed him slowly, assuring him that you'd both get him feeling better.

That night, like many others before, Tommy curled in close to you with the hopes that the warmth from your body was reminiscent of the sunlight he didn't know he craved. With his internal conflict identified, he felt less shame about feeling so 'empty' inside.

Ever since then, you'd done all you could to get Tommy out of this rut. You wanted to make sure he had constant reassurance that there was no need to feel lonely. There were a lot more cozy nights spent inside together where you would both sing for the sake of singing, and nights where you'd play guitar for him so he didn't have to. There were also a lot of nights where you'd simply hold him close to you as you both slipped into slumber.

All you could do was anything- anything in order to keep his spirits up. Hell, you even got him vitamin D supplements if it meant he might have perked up a little from them.

Something you also attempted to do from time to time was get both of you active and moving. If you yourself were active, then Tommy felt compelled to follow suit. As a simple way to do this, you began to go on walks more often when the winter weather permitted. Your usual walking route made a pass by the nearby lake where Tommy's own little row boat remained covered for the season at the shore. Every time you walked past it, you'd catch his gaze lingering on it.

"I really miss taking that thing out at sunset," he reminisced one afternoon as you walked hand-in-hand, "I feel like one trip on the ol' boat would automatically cure both of us of any winter blues.

You squeezed his hand, "Well, it is kinda your happy place."

"We're going out on it the very first chance we get, got it?"

"Maybe on the first day of spring, we can celebrate that way..." you suggested.

There was a quick, fleeting curl of the corner of his mouth at your idea. Getting him to smile at all was always a wonderful accomplishment.

He was appreciative of how much you cared about his well-being, but there were also a few times where he'd whine about being "babied" by you. Sometimes, you had to pull his arms or legs to get him out of bed. One time, you had to roll him. Other times, when his appetite couldn't be found, you attempted to spoon-feed him like an infant (which, at the very least, made him laugh out of embarrassment).

Some days were normal, some days were fine, and some days weren't so fine.

Once, after a rather rough songwriting attempt, Tommy came to you on the verge of tears because he was just that frustrated with himself. He wasn't sure how to exactly say what he wanted from you; what he'd done was take you in his arms and mumble that he needed you to tell him to "stop feeling like this."

Instead of honoring his request, you had him lay in your lap on the couch. As you watched the snow settle down outside the house, you aimed to reassure him that he was simply a little unwell at the moment.

"There's nothing wrong with you, sweetie. You're just a bit in the dark like the rest of the northern hemisphere right now; you just need some light, is all," you reasoned with him. Your fingertips slowly combed through the roots of his glowing locks as you went on, "And someday soon, every little thing that makes you happy— all those little lights in your life— they'll come back. They have thousands of times before when things seemed dark, and this time is no different."

"Hm. Maybe you should write a song," he mused up at you with closed eyes, "You speak like a poet."

"Maybe I should," you joked, "If it'll make you sit back and relax for once."

Tommy hadn't given up on writing songs, but he could also never seem to pull one together. Sometimes there would be random bursts of frustrated ambition, but that usually resulted in papers all over the floor, and Tommy walking away from it all before he tore up another potential idea.

When you realized him picking up the guitars never led to any good, you suggested he try a new instrument altogether.

"But all my ideas stem from guitar, and I swear I'm close to something!" he acted like what you said was blasphemous, "If I'm finally going to have an idea for a song, it's bound to come from a guitar. I can't just give up on it now...!"

"I get you're afraid the guitar muse won't last, but 'Renegade' did come from a piano, after all," you reminded him, "And I'm not saying give up with the guitar, I'm just saying find something different to take your mind off of guitars for a bit. Cleanse your palette, learn something new, and maybe new ideas will come from it!"

He sighed and shook his head, "Alright... I'll see if anything weird enough catches my eye."

Slowly over a week or two of gently pushing him and nurturing him, you noticed Tommy coming back more into himself. His healthy ambition was returning, he began to eat and sleep normally again, and his usual cheer seemed to be waking up from hibernation. When you first started noticing this, you also noticed Tommy was being more secretive about the potential music he was working on. He wasn't trying to compose often, but when he did, he wouldn't let you peek in on him anymore.

Despite this sudden secretiveness, he told you he still didn't have any songs yet, and that he was experimenting with something new like you proposed. Whatever he was starting to do, you were just glad he found some joy in it again.

One day, you caught a glimpse of a paper he'd accidentally left lying around. In his slightly scribbled handwriting, there appeared to be a few brief stanzas of a potential song.

"Thank you for caring, but tonight the lights will take me where I long to be Just like a thousand nights before

I can't explain It gives me some pain

Give me the lights, precious lights Give me light, give me hope, give me energy

You can turn the wrong into right, precious lights Illuminate me Won't you let me play?"

It was then clear why Tommy was hiding his current work from you; he was inspired by you. Perhaps he was just too bashful to admit it yet.

The lyric melted your heart, not only because he was referencing your own words of comfort in his music, but also because he was now finding inspiration in his bout of gloom. You knew his soul desperately wanted it to be spring, and he knew he desperately wanted to be back to normal. The lights of springtime, to him, meant just that. It only made sense that he was to write a song about this.

As much as you instantly fell in love with it, you didn't tell Tommy that you found the lyrics he wrote. You let it be, and just let him carry on with his own process. You weren't meant to look at it, and didn't want to jinx the wonderful thing he may have started.

After the personal rollercoaster that was the first 19 days of March, the first day of spring arrived at long last. Unfortunately, however, there was still no spring in sight. There was a forecast for freezing rain and wind that day, with no sunshine to be found.

In the days recent, Tommy did show he had more energy for a change, as he could feel the impending season around the corner. Whenever he disappeared to practice whatever new thing he was trying out, you just let him be. That day being no different, you went ahead and slipped out to run some errands before the weather hit. However, the weather did hit while you were gone, leaving your other half on his own longer than expected.

Meanwhile, alone in his own private little work bubble, Tommy strummed his new instrument quietly to himself.

"It's done..." he whispered, "It's actually done... but it's not... right."

It was a particularly frustrating day for him in terms of music- as he was making progress based on your advice, but something just felt off about the finished product he'd made.

Yes, Tommy had finally finished a song. It came rather effortlessly, too- much to his surprise. He was almost proud of it, but he didn't know how to tell if it was truly completed.

He knew you were right about needing to cleanse his palette, so he went out on your word and bought a mandolin. His reasoning for this choice was simply the fact that he knew he was a guitar player, so how different could a mandolin be? He was sure he could play it. The second he tried to, however, he quickly realized that he couldn't. As it turned out, the tuning was otherworldly, it was tricky to try and learn chords on, and it was small.

In the process of trying to figure out how the hell to play this new tool, Tommy decided to just make up his own chords. The second he strung a few of these 'chords' together, something immediately set off a little spark in his heart.

Finally, at long last, something took to his creative side and awoke it from hibernation. It was something he had wanted so badly, and it was something that felt so wonderful to feel again.

When it came time to set a lyric to the fresh music, Tommy figured it was only best to write about something else he wanted so badly.

He couldn't wait to play his experimental tune for you and tell you that you were right all along, but there was this inexplicable thing that was missing from it. Naturally, as a musician, he spent several obsessive hours trying to figure out what it was, but had no luck. He just didn't know what needed to be changed- if anything.

On the verge of his motivation burning out on the matter again, sleet suddenly began to pound against the windows outside.

Immediately, poor Tommy felt the musical motivation rapidly leak away from him. His mood and energy suddenly plummeted, and he felt himself slump back into an insufferable, lazy state once more.

It was here that he realized he was expecting March 20th to be a day of hope and light, but instead, winter was laughing in his face yet again. It was officially spring, yet there he was; still stuck in the cold with another incomplete song.

He missed feeling whole. He missed feeling completely like himself and making complete works of art.

Tommy shamefully hid his mandolin away again, deciding to once again give up for the day. His feet seemed to automatically lead him to the couch, as if they already knew what to do, and he horizontally resigned himself to its cushions.

You were always telling him to just lay back and relax as best as he could when the thought of making music caused too much stress. You'd additionally tell him, as a joke, to close his eyes and go to his "happy place", just to make him smile. With your voice suggesting this in his head, Tommy figured that at the very least, some extra sleep might flush away the depressive cloud that was eating at him yet again.

Besides, he had a (supposedly) completed song; he figured he deserved a nice nap as a reward.

Dejectedly letting the sound of the freezing rain scrape against his eardrums, he allowed his eyes to close as every confused thought in his mind began to form the foundation of a midday dream.

~ To be continued ~

#MY FIRST TOMMY/STYX FIC AAAAAAAAAAA #tommy shaw #styx #styx band #tommy shaw x reader #tommy shaw fanfic #i haven't started writing the second part yet so it'll be a while until i post it #(there's only going to be one more part)#i was NOT planning on this being a two part thing but i got so long winded in this one that it kinda turned into that #styx fanfic #also i took the top middle photo myself and im in love with that song and felt it had the vibes for this part #pls give it a listen #stan the steve miller band or perish #i just decided to keep the working title too bc nothing else seems right

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