so, i said i’d be posting my lotr modern fic then here it is! this chapter is a beginning, to introduce some of the characters, and i consider this chapter a ‘test’
[A/N: this chapter is a test of this fic, i just wanna see how it goes and how people will react to it. idk if i will keep posting here or if i will move the fic to somewhere else, i’m sorry for my bad english it’s not my first language but i swear i try]
‘At The Beginning Of Everything’:
“Fili and Kili, for God’s sake can you please be quiet?!” It was around the millionth time Thorin tried to shut his nephews, unsuccessfully.
They were coming back from the super market since Kili wouldn’t stop saying that there was a waffle thief in the neighborhood, but the truth was that Thorin ate all the waffles one night to try to calm himself down, like most of the things he does, unsuccessfully. Thorin had a loaf of bread in his mouth while he was driving, Fili was desperate to pee, consequently, writhing in his seat and Kili was screaming because there was a mosquito in the car, Thorin was trying too hard not to lose his mind, which, again, like most of the things he does, unsuccessfully. The noise, the road and the fucking bird who wouldn’t get off the road, too much too for him.
He thought of run over the bird but the last time he ran over an animal it took two weeks for Fili and Kili to get over it. Instead, for completely personal reasons, he decided to lose his mind.
“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY THAT YOU NEED TO BE QUIET?!” And there is. The silence. The lovely silence. “Sorry.” He added.
“Uncle…” Fili said calmly.
“I really need to pee.”
That was enough. Thorin banged his head against the steering wheel and hit the car horn. The sound of the horn startled everyone, including Thorin, well… at least the bird was gone.
Finally, home. Fili ran to the bathroom and Kili insisted in help with the market purchases. And once everything was in its place, Thorin threw himself on the couch and sank into it, he was so tired he was almost asleep, when the damn bell rang.
“Goddammit, you can’t have ONE minute of peace in this shitty neighborhood, death would be better than this!” And he went all the way to the door cursing. He took a deep breath trying to remember that he couldn’t punch the face of the individual who disturbed his peace, he put a smile on his face and opened the door. “May I help?” He smiled, the most forced smile of all time, simply terrifying.
“Uh… maybe I should come back in another time.” The tiny man with his company said.
“Hell no! I mean… Just say it.”
“Well… uh.” He looked up smiling slightly. “I am your new neighbor… Here, next to your house.” He pointed at his house, Thorin didn’t bother looking. “I am Bilbo… Bilbo Baggins… And that’s my nephew, Frodo.” His little company was hiding behind the man’s legs, the first thing you notice as you look at Frodo, are his eyes, blue like the sky, which complemented his black hair.
The man called Bilbo had curly, messy brown hair, almost the color of honey, with eyes that changed from brown to blue, Thorin didn’t know exactly, but they weren’t as blue as Frodo’s. He was short, not so short compared to Thorin, but considerably short, in general, Thorin found him attractive, but had not realized, he was too busy thinking about how much he wanted to go to sleep.
“Well… if you want to show up any time… The doors are always open.”
“Lovely. Goodbye.” Thorin was almost closing the door, when he was interrupted by Fili and Kili.
“Hey!” Fili said to the little Baggins.
“Hi…” Frodo looked up at Bilbo looking for some kinda of approval, Bilbo just pointed at Fili and Kili with the head, raising his eyebrows. “I am Frodo… Frodo Baggins.”
“Fili and Kili.” Said respectively. “At your service.” They bowed in awe, making Frodo laugh.
“Uncle can we play with Mr. Boggins?” Kili said looking up.
“I-it’s Baggins.” Frodo corrected.
Then, Thorin had a brilliant idea to finally have some peace at home.
“Sure dear.” This time he actually smiled
“They can go to my house, I don’t bother.” Bilbo said.
“Lovely! Bye bye! Don’t pee at the window, don’t turn on the stove and pour alcohol on it, don’t eat all of Sr. Baggins’s food and please don’t throw Mr. Frodo from the stairs. See you later.” He said quickly while kissing Fili and Kili’s forehead, closing the door as soon as they’re gone. “Finally…”
But it didn’t take too long, deep down Thorin knew it was wrong to leave his nephews alone with a man he just met, and his father spirit - thank goodness - spoke louder, and he went towards the neighbors and their nephews.
“Wait! I’m going with you!”
Fili, Kili and Frodo seemed to be getting along, they were laughing and without even realizing, Thorin was smiling too. His attention was caught by the sound of Bilbo putting two glasses of beer on the counter.
“Yeah.” Thorin said already drinking.
“I’ve invited someone else from the neighborhood I met.” He announced, Thorin just nodded looking at his nephews. “So… you’re an uncle too.”
“Uh… yeah. I’ve been taking care of them since they were… babies I guess.” Thorin said taking another sip of the cold beer. “You know… I love them…” He stopped for a while. “But I would also kill them.”
“Nice.” Bilbo responded by taking a sip of his drink to disguise the mood that rose there.
“And you?” For some reason, Bilbo got surprised to be asked something.
“Yeah well, I take care of him for a long time. We decided to move from our old city to try to find some better life. Frodo didn’t have many friends back there.”
“Well, there are some nice people here, I mean… kids. Not all, there’s a duo of idiots also, Pippin and Merry, I mean, that’s not their real names, but that doesn’t matter, the boys are bad news, they’re good, almost kind, but wherever they go, there’s trouble.”
And Bilbo laugh. Thorin joined his laughing.
And then the bell ring.
“Oh it must be the other guests. You might know them, from the white house next to mine.”
And Thorin froze. Please don’t.
Bilbo opened the door to reveal a very tall figure with big silky hair, Thorin looked at the kids, they had a new member at their little group, and he knew exactly who was the little boy. Thorin didn’t mind, he liked the boy, he was nice, didn’t had much friends and he seemed quite happy playing with the other boys, his real problem was the father.
Thranduil fucking Oropherion.
“Hey! Glad you came!” Bilbo said enthusiastically.
“The pleasure is all mine.” Thranduil’s happiness was cut off as soon as he saw Thorin at the counter. “I see we already have company.” Thranduil said as he looked Thorin, people would confuse the look Thranduil gave Thorin with desire, but it was pure hatred. The purest hate of all.
“Um… yeah, this is-” Bilbo started, but the tall man interrupted him.
“Hello Mr. Oakenshield.” He spoke in a low, threatening tone almost.
Thorin just raised his beer glass in awe, didn’t bother to look the other man’s eyes.
Bilbo was confused. Had two options he had considered: they hated each other, something close to Batman and Joker’s relationship, or they really wanted to fuck each other. Well, the second was kinda right, if you consider punch, cut each other’s perfect hair and set fire on someone the same thing as ‘fuck’, then you can say the tiny man was right. Bilbo decided not to get involved is their personal lives and their 'relationship’.
“Good. You already know each other.”
“Not enough in my opinion.” Thorin said to himself, but Bilbo listened and what he understood from this was completely different from what Thorin meant.
In Bilbo’s mind they desired each other. But what Thorin actually wanted was to punch Thranduil in every single part of his body, and after maim them and bury. Sounds psycho but Thorin’s therapist said is perfectly common to think this, but would be good if he only kept this is mind.
Bilbo didn’t know what to do, so he offered Thranduil a glass of beer, which he denied.
“You have wine instead?”
“Oh, let me check out…”
And Bilbo left, leaving Thranduil and Thorin alone.
“How’s the little Legolas?” Thorin started.
“Good.” For a moment Thranduil thought not to respond, but wanted to be better than Thorin in everything, including behavior. “And your nephews?”
“Legolas seems to like them. He doesn’t have many friends, he’s a good boy, I don’t get why kids don’t like him.” Thranduil said looking to the garden, where the children played some kind of weird game involving climbing on each other’s backs, probably Fili and Kili had suggested.
‘Because the father is a fucking freak…’ Thorin thought.
“Legolas is very polite and gentleman with everyone.” Thorin admitted. “He definitely didn’t get it from you.”
Thranduil move his head to face Thorin slowly.
“Hm?” Thorin said drinking the last sip of beer.
“Listen you fucking bastard.” Thranduil pointed his fingers to Thorin as he walked in his direction.
“I am all ears…”
“Don’t play the mockery with me.”
Thranduil looked Thorin up and down and decided not to waste his time. Bilbo returned with a bottle of wine at the same moment.
“Oh… perfect!” Thranduil said looking at the wine.
Bilbo took a glass and handed it to Thranduil, the atmosphere would have remained terrible if Legolas had not walked in.
“Ada?” The young boy with silky hair, also kinda long and blue eyes said, making Thorin remember that Legolas had this weird way to call the father.
“Yes my little leaf?” Thranduil answered bending down to get up to his son.
The young boy was about to say something, but instead he looked at Thorin, he smiled to the man he alreay knew and Thorin returned the smile, then Legolas finally returned his attention to the father.
“Oh.” That’s all Thranduil said.
Bilbo decided to look for something in the kitchen cabinet, and came back with a jar of random mixed cookies. He handed it for the light-haired young boy. Legolas smiled thanking just before run to the garden to show his friends what he had achieved.
Thranduil could not hold back, so he smiled to see the beaming son.
“You have a heart after all…” Thorin joke.
Thranduil looked at Thorin with a look of disgust.
In the garden, the boys played hide and seek.
“… seven, eight, nine, TEN!” with the countdown finished Frodo went looking for his new friends. Fili was was hiding behind a thicket, Legolas climbed a tree and was holding tight to the trunk, and Kili ran behind one of the garden chairs, he tried above all to hold back his laughter.
Frodo started looking behind the thickets, that’s where he found Fili, who was trying to move from one thicket to another . The second to be found was Kili, but what unmasked his hiding place was his laugh that he couldn’t contain. But no matter what they did, they couldn’t find Legolas, the little boy on the tree laugh at the boys, until he lost his balance and fell, the fall would have been horrible if it wasn’t for his savior, a boy he did not recognize grabbed Legolas.
“Legolas!” The other boys ran towards both of them, surprised and curious to know the identity of the superhero who had saved Legolas.
Legolas was still in the savior’s arms, he looked at him and met his blue but also green eyes. the savior, who was a considerably chubby boy and probably older than the others put Legolas down and smiled at him.
“Hey you!” Kili started pointing at the boy. “How did you caught him so fast?!”
“I … well I was behind the fence, I saw you guys playing… and I- I really wanted to play too… but well I- I’m not usually good at starting friendships… so I tried my best to build up courage, bu- but I couldn’t, and when… when he fell my instinct spoke louder and I grabbed him.” He said between breaks but still kinda fast.
“You’re amazing! And strong too!” Fili admitted. “What’s your name?”
“Samwise Gamgee, I live three houses from here.”
“Samwise is too complicated… Can I just call you Sam?” Frodo asking smiling and Sam nodded, he seemed quite happy to have a nickname. “I am Frodo.”
“And I am Legolas, thank you a lot for helping me.”
“Oh…” Sam blushed, it seems like no one have ever spoke to him. “It was not a big deal…”
“Of course it was!” Frodo said, he seemed the most happy to meet Sam. “You’re like a superhero! Like… just like Superman! My uncle told me he is super strong and fast and very kind! Hmm… You need a superhero name… you're… You’re Samwise the Brave!”
Sam was probably the oldest in the group, but he was ashamed as easy as a baby.
“Would you like to play with us?” Legolas invited.
“Uh… yeah!” Sam said after a moment thinking
And now they were a quintet, playing and laughing together, Thorin, Bilbo and Thranduil only later realized the presence of another child, when they sat down to lunch, they thought another child’s presence would be bad, but Sam was polite and did his best to help others, he delighted everyone.
Thorin and Bilbo got along very well and Thranduil seemed to like Bilbo’s presence. For Thorin’s surprise, the day with the new neighbor and the Barbie Girl wasn’t that bad.