#thought it was time to post art to here so welp here goes lol

[sipsandfables]

Unfiltered Thoughts While Reading: Iron Flame by Rebecca Yarros

⚠️⚠️⚠️ BEWARE! SPOILERS AHEAD ⚠️⚠️⚠️

Chapter 1

If I were Violet, I’d be like “Forget these biscuits and EXPLAIN YOURSELF SIR” 😂

If Brennan survived, then why did Tairn’s old rider die? 

“Stop bringing logic into an emotional argument.” Hahaha love Violet

I will say though that if she’s going to be mad at Xaden, she can be mad at Brennan for the same thing

Chapter 2

is this foreshadowing? Will Violet or someone else learn the art of ward building to save them all?

“Weapons are the only things that can win this war” for someone so intelligent, I’ve never heard Brennan say anything more foolish than that 

Andarna is a teen 😂

will she go through an emo phase? Hahaha

At least it sounds like her mom wasn’t in on this murder plot 

“Fucking Dain.”

Lol agreed

Chapter 4

I love how Dain acts like nothing happened. Like, wtf? Why are you surprised Violet hates you?!

Unless he didn’t know about the plan somehow and we all just assumed he did.

Also, maybe another mind reader read his mind and he didn’t actually tattle? But even if that’s the case, he still read Violet’s memories without her permission this whole school year

Chapter 5

“I’m pleasantly fuddled but not entirely sloshed.”

Lol I’m using that the next time I get drunk

Chapter 6

Violet has more self-control than me. She should have let Xaden stay the night lol

Chapter 7

I knew it! So, less dragons are bonding because of the war and the venin. I wonder if they are bonding with the rebels or just staying out of it completely 

Chapter 8

so Aaric is the kings son?! Bold move 

And now Liam’s little sister?! This series is going to kill me 😭😭😭

oh shes angry lol 

“What in the angry-Mairi was that about?”

Lol I love Rhiannon

“I've danced with Malek more than my fair share over this last year and told him to fuck right off every single time. ”

LOL

Fuck this dragon and fuck Varrish. What. The. Hell.

I’d be so pissed if someone ran after that because that stupid dragon is killing people in the way anyways. Hide ya kids, hide ya wife, they’re flaming everyone up in here.

“If Solas comes near you again, he knows I will devour his human whole and let him rot within me while his heart still beats, and then I'll take the eye I so graciously left him." "That's...graphic."

Tairn has the best threats lol he and Violet were made for each other

Chapter 9

I knew Imogen would grow on me!

Omg I bet the person they’re interrogating is Xaden. He never made it out to his post and it’s why he hasn’t come to see Violet. I just don’t know how they can keep the dragons from each other 

“"I can take her," Sloane fires back, white-knuckling her knife, "From what your letter said last year, her joints pop right out. How hard can it be?" "Seriously?" I shoot a reproachful look at Imogen. "I can explain." Imogen puts her hand over her heart, "You see, I didn't like you last year, remember? You're kind of an acquired taste."”

hahahaha I love the banter in this series

OMG!!! Nadine!!! I am NOT okay with how fast characters be dying in this damn series!! 😭😭😭

Chapter 10

I knew this dude was sent by Aetos. So freaking sloppy! And the more this book goes on, the more I think Dain didn’t know about the War Games thing. He’s an annoying prick but I don’t see him being malicious enough to let Violet walk to her death. Plus, I actually don’t recall him shitting on people with a relic. He just seems to hate Xaden lol 

Welp, there goes my theory about Xaden being tortured lol

I find it hilarious that Xaden is so obsessed with Violet’s hair lol

Chapter 11

“Coconspirators with a vested interest in keeping each other alive.”

Lol love Imogen. She’s giving me Ron Swanson vibes here with his “work proximity associates” speech 😂😂😂

Banning people from knowledge in order to keep their corrupt secrets from the public is not sustainable. Sure, it drastically slows the distribution of information but the truth always comes out - it’s just a matter of when!

I wonder if the Scribes are translating everything from the old language in order to hide more lies

 Varrish grinning at Violet saying “dragons don’t take orders from humans” does not bode well. Has he found a way to control dragons? Or at least influence them with blackmail or something else?

Varrish is such a dick. Like, get a life dude. 

Chapter 12

That comment about a blade of grass sticking to Violet was so random. 

Chapter 13

This Varrish guy is the worst. He’s like Miss Umbridge from the Harry Potter series

“You wish you were my type. I’m phenomenal in bed.”

Hahahaha I love Imogen. SHE BETTER NOT DIE

Oh no, I bet it’s that freaking survival class test! They’re getting kidnapped!

Chapter 14

Tairn is so sassy and I love it

Obviously, the water is drugged! Have they never read a fantasy novel?! 

I adore Ridoc 😍

HE BETTER NOT DIE

You would think there would be more crossover activities and exercises between riders and infantry if they have to work together so much and infantry are expected to work alongside dragons

Chapter 15

Rhiannon is responding to Violet keeping secrets way better than Violet is to Xaden lol She’s like “hey, you’re hiding something and that’s fine but don’t lie about lying” with Violet. And Xaden is like “Honestly, I have secrets I can’t tell but here are all of the intimate details of my life.” Come on Violet! Quit trippin' and get back with Xaden lol

I don’t like the rift going on between Rhiannon and Violet this book. They need each other and it’s annoying lol

Alright 2 things that annoy me about this book so far:

1. The lack of Xaden and Violet scenes  2. Violet being mad at Xaden for keeping secrets from her in order to protect others

 Chapter 16

Yesssss, Imogen is spitting facts!!! Hopefully this will convince Violet to let him back in

“I’m still speaking.”

Okay Imogen 👀 She could get it 😏

Oh man, I really hope nothing happens to Rhi’s family and she blames Violet for keeping her in the dark

Of course she misses the interrogation technique class!!! Bad move man

Chapter 18

Theory time: Omg is death what’s powering the wards??? Is that why so many more people are dying at an alarming rate? They need more students to die to power up the wards? And maybe daggers work because they are an instrument for causing death?

“I want you.” All day. Every day.

LOLLL

Omg I love how ride or die Rhiannon is about Violet lol 

Who’s soul is Nolon mending?!

Chapter 19

Theory time: Solas’ orange is off and Dain’s dragon's breath stinks because they’re giving the dragons some concoction. Maybe it’s to control them? 

“Humans have the memories of gnats. Dragons hold grudges.”

Pearls of wisdom from Tairn lol

Damn it Tairn lol while I love that he put Varrish and Solas in their place, things just got a whole lot worse for Violet 😬

Chapter 20

“Ugh. Let’s go throw knives at shit.”

😂

Has Mira met Imogen? They’d be two peas in a pod lol

I’m also shook that they kill civilians. Wowwwww

Chapter 21

Man, this is starting to feel like Final Destination since all the Resson survivors are dying one by one

“History and current events are tied because one influences the other.”

Interesting foreshadowing 

I like Devera and I feel like she’s trying to do the right thing while the rest of leadership goes to shit. Like Professor McGonagall does when Dumbledore is no longer headmaster 

“That’s what we’re not going to do.”

You tell em, Devera!

I bet Varrish will be in charge of the torture lessons given his background and he’s going to try to kill Violet 

I was JUST wondering where Dain has been. Haven’t heard his holier than thou whining in a while lol

omg I called it in the last book! Her mom gave Xaden those scars! I also still think I’m right about Dain being guilty of being a prick but not of sending his best friend to get murdered 

Rhiannon is so smart! She reminds me of Bree from Legendborn 😍

I knew I liked Aaroc/Cam for a reason! Hope he doesn’t die….

Chapter 22

It’s strange that Violet is so bad at remembering names when she studied to be a Scribe her whole life lol

Chapter 23

For some reason, book 2 reads a little more like a YA novel than the first book

HAVE THEY LEARNED NOTHING?! Don’t  eat or drink anything!!!

Okay, you didn’t drink but did you eat the jam?!

Ridoc and his snake confession had me cackling

lol I totally thought Ridoc broke first but he was lying haha

I knew fucking Varrish would somehow weasel himself into this training

They’re using Dain? Well hell.

Also, isn’t his signet supposed to be a secret???

Chapter 24

Wait, they’re practicing on civilians?!?! At what point do people wake up and think “hmmm, we’re the bad guys”?

"We should consider quitting the quadrant." Ridoc jokes as we walk over the door and out of the chamber, "We'd be kickass thieves." "With dragons," Sawyer agrees. "Unstoppable," Ridoc says with a grin.

This is giving Six of Crows and I. Am. Here. For. It.

Unlocking doors? hmmmm interesting 

Chapter 25

I know exactly who did this! A scribe! It was the person walking in the hood earlier that Violet noticed. I wonder if it’s her friend or someone else

Those statements have to be true - Markham is acting too squirrelly about them

FUCKING JACK IS BACK?!

Idk how I feel about this book now lol like really? 

Hundreds of cadets die every year and they spent valuable resources and time to mend him?! What happened to “we let the weak die”?! This is utter bull

Also, Nolon mentioned how hard mending a soul is….it doesn’t sound like Jack has a soul 

Chapter 26

I love the nonchalant way Sawyer and Ridoc are ready to murder Jack lol

Chapter 27

Territorial Xaden is the best lollll he’s like who the hell's jacket is that and why isn’t it mine?! 😂

Well, that escalated quickly 👀🔥

Chapter 28

Oh that has to be his ex. The one that Bodhi mentioned

I knew it!

Chapter 29

“Pull yourself together”

Tairn with the tough love 😂😂😂

“I will already know, as I am continuously with you,” he grumbles. “Forced to bear witness to the awkwardness that is twenty one year old humans.”

💀💀💀

I forgot who Professor Kaori is but I love them!!

Chapter 30

FINALLY Violet realizes how hypocritical she was being about Xaden when she tells her friends part of the truth

I bet Andarna is sleeping longer than expected because she’s going to be powerful as hell lol

Holy shit. Too many people die too often in this series. I don’t even remember who Eya is!

Ridoc better not die

Chapter 31

Freaking JACK saved her?!?! What is this rouse?!

I 👏🏾 don’t 👏🏾 trust 👏🏾 him 👏🏾 

Let’s go Aaric! Sidebar, I need a novella about him. He sounds hot

Chapter 32

I thought Aaric ‘s brother died in Threshing! Well I guess Xaden could have killed him then lol

There’s no way Nasya sleeps through his post every time. I bet he’s spying on them

Oh Imogen has it taken care of lol good. Also, that’s a badass signet!

Chapter 34

“The birth of iron rain” !?

That sounds ominous

OMG LADY STOP DRINKING THINGS FROM OTHER PEOPLE

Fucking hell. I honestly can’t even feel anger for Nolon’s betrayal because I’m too annoyed with Violet rn lol

Chapter 36

So Dain is finally choosing the right side!

I’m so glad Varrish is dead! He’s the worst lol. Violet will definitely have to watch her back from Solas

Yay! Devera came through!

The secret is out! Finally!

Chapter 37

🌶️🌶️🌶️

Chapter 38

Andarna is back!!! Yayyy!

I bet this “blood magic” means sacrifice! they have to kill people to build a new ward

I knew Mira would punch Brennan after seeing him for the first time haha

Chapter 39

The 6 strongest riders: Caden, Felix, suri, bodhi, violet, Brennan - I’m surprised Mira isn’t one

Chapter 40

I do think Violet is a little slow on the uptake when it comes to understanding her power which is surprising since she’s so smart

I’m excited about this sibling trip lol

Chapter 41

“Fuck it. We don’t need a luminary.”

Mira is a whole vibe lol

Cat is the worst and Violet is annoying me by listening to her lol Xaden is obsessed with you girl - ignore this jelly belly lady

Well that explains why Violet was trippin' hahaha wasn’t her fault

Chapter 43

yeah I agree - allowing people to die on the parapet is unnecessary lol

Holy shit ! This entire hike is stressful as fuck!

RIDOC!!!

Chapter 45

“The problem with mankind is we too often find our souls to be a fair price for power.”

Chapter 47

I hope Violet kicks Cat’s ass and makes it embarrassing for her lol

Chapter 48

Well that was hawt lol

Xaden talking shit about Dain will never get old lol

The way Xaden feels about Violet reminds me of Rowan to Aelin because his love isn’t conditional and based on if she’s “good” - “If you’re a monster, I’m a monster” (Queen of Shadows)

Xaden is very swoon-worthy lol

Chapter 49

I feel like it’s always Sawyer pitching the idea to just kill an annoying enemy (Cat, Jack, Varrish) and I’m here for it 😂

HE BETTER NOT DIE

oh no….am I starting to find Dain not so bad? Lollll

Chapter 52

Theory time: I really think these nightmares are real - somehow the Sage is communicating with Violet through her dreams Theory Time: I bet she gets captured or agrees to go to the head Sage by the end of this book to set up the next book

Oh god, I really hope an attack doesn’t occur while they’re on this training mission and then Violet feels responsible for not putting up the wards sooner 😬

Chapter 53

Violet must be thinking of Xaden and how he might go mad since his dragon was previously bonded with someone in his direct line

Fucking Solas. I almost forgot about this enemy!

Chapter 54

Honestly I’m surprised she doesn’t have more enemies since if you kill her, you essentially kill 4 beings in one swoop

Andarna is a badass

Chapter 55

No lie, this fight between Xaden and Violet is a little silly and getting exhausting

Ah, I came to the wrong conclusion about Xaden and his bond with Sgaeyl 

Chapter 56

Omg is Xadens second signet mind reading? That would explain a lot. It would also explain why he’s scared to share since they execute people with that signet

Called it!!! I’m glad her response was not immediately “I don’t love you anymore”

Now I need to reread these books to see when he reads her mind. Oh man, I hate to say it but it kind of sounds like what Dain did to her last year

hmmmm, that was too easy lol

Ugh, we’ve been here before - Violet discovers a big secret about Xaden right before some war conflict and they’re fighting in the midst of chaos. Not sure I’m a fan that it’s a repeat of the last book lol

Chapter 57

well I’m glad Cat has stopped being a twat and decided that focusing on saving the continent is the way to go over petty squabbles over an ex lol She reminds me of Lysandra but in a good way lol 

I think the trouble with the writing of their relationship is that Xaden is so amazing and their relationship is so magnetic that their conflicts feel forced. The obstacles they face within their relationship are hard to develop when Xaden is always saying the right things after they fight lol Not that I’d want it any other way - but I think that’s why I’m struggling with not rolling my eyes when they get into arguments. Violet deserves to be angry about the betrayal but then it just feels like her decision on what she’ll do next about them takes FOREVER and it feels like it’s dragged out across a whole ass book.

Omg did Brennan come?! Is he announcing his “undeadness”?!

Violet immediately wants Xaden to use his secret signet on the others? I don’t disapprove at all but that better mean she will forgive him swiftly lol

It isn’t in Violet to NOT help innocent civilians if she can.

“I love you enough to bear the weight of your disappointment.”

Total mom sacrifice right there!

I need a novella of their mom and dad and how they got together lol

Chapter 58

If I were with the Rebellion, I’d agree to help Navarre on the condition that they make it public knowledge that Venin are real and they’ve been lying to citizens for centuries in order to keep a specific amount of citizens safe - that way, they’re not leaving innocents to die AND if they all survive the battle at Solstice, the rebels will walk away with an additional win (the entire continent knowing the truth)

am I the only one who visualize white walkers from GOT when I read about the venin in this book? Lol

Alright let’s go!!! Way to not turn into the enemies! 

Chapter 59

What is with Andarna’s scale colors?! Their changing colors have been mentioned all book - I wonder what’s the significance? Is she a rainbow dragon?! That would be dope lol

Jack's dragon's eyes are weird? Another reference to dragons seeming off! I bet they’re controlling it! But who would want the wards to fail? Who is Jack in league with if Varish is dead? IS Varish even dead?! Did freaking Nolon bring him back to life like he did with Jack?!

What the heck?! Did Jack become venin?! Why did he slaughter his own dragon?!?

Chapter 60

I knew he became venin! But didn’t realize it was for SO LONG!

Well, everything is going to hell in a hand basket 

“Fucking Jack.”

Ain’t that the truth lol

There’s no way this battle is in this book, there’s not enough pages left!!!!

Chapter 61

Can Andarna turn invisible??!

I’m so stressed lol

Chapter 62

Omg is Andarna a chameleon?!

Chapter 63

Theory time: Andarna is head of the seventh den of dragons! This is why she’s so unique. She’s not actually black like Tairn . I bet she’s one of one making her the head of her den. It would make sense since she’s an orphan 

Add-on to the theory: I think both journals are right but describe it differently. Warrick says six AND the one that combines all which must be what Andarna is since she’s always changing colors. Lyra’s journal says seven because it combines the six and the one

Good thing Andarna can make fire now!

Chapter 64

Not a Liam letter 😭😭😭

This heartfelt moment between Andarna and Violet is everything. 

The way that Andarna looks up to Tairn gives me all the feels

What about Sloane?! Can she somehow reverse her power and GIVE instead of siphon?

Ah yep, apparently she can.

Her mom is going to sacrifice herself! 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Chapter 65

I’m honestly surprised Xaden killed the main sage. I figured he’d be a bigger part of the storyline 

Don’t tell me Xaden is also now Venin?! 😭

NOOOOO 😭😭😭

Sgaeyl is pissedddd

Chapter 66

OMG WERE THOSE XADENS DREAMS THE WHOLE TIME?! 

I can’t recall if Violet only had the nightmares when she slept near Xaden 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I am unwell.

#iron flame #fourth wing #fourth wing review #xaden #xaden riorson #violet sorrengail #book review #iron flame review #rebecca yarros

[midorei]

“Bʟᴇʜ~”

ᴜɴᴅᴇʀᴛᴀᴋᴇʀ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴋᴜʀᴏsʜɪᴛsᴜᴊɪ

#kuroshitsuji #black butler #fanart #anime #kuroshitsujifanart #art #mine #thought it was time to post art to here so welp here goes lol

[aclosetfan]

ask game number 10?

(ask game) thank you so much for asking!!!!

BUBBLE BAND ♥♥♥

YESSSS YESS haha yessss someone chose 10!!!!!! So pumped for this one. For new fandom members (lmao I’m like a damn fandom historian), battle of the band fics got really popular for half a second b/c of the punks. I outlined my own where the punks are included but with a twist. No powers au, multi chap fic.

My outline is really detailed because I know I’m going to be writing this one!! It’s just too much fun, but I’m only gonna give you the jist, I don’t want to spoil too much :))) I’ve got like six pages of notes and I’m still not done mapping it all out. It’s supposed to be goofy as well as a big s/o to everyone who watched cringy amvs on youtube in the early 2000s <3

BACKGROUND:

Brick (lead guitar), Butch (bass), and Boomer (drums) are three brothers with a shitty garage band. They think they’re hot shit. They’re not hot shit (not yet). They’re good at playing their instruments but they don’t have a big following (or any good songs). On a good night, Mojo (their adopted father) indulges them and brings the crowd to a stunning total of 1.

PLOT:

One day, Boomer gets it in his head that he doesn’t want to be a punk rocker anymore. It’s dumb, he’s bored, and obviously, he is the next Picasso, so he quits the band. Brick all but disowns him as a brother. Butch is like dude I’d be cool staying in the band and Brick goes “you don’t have a choice!” Butch is like “aight, but now that Boom’s gone, can we maybe play a song I wrote?” Brick’s like, “no!” Butch is like “aight. That’s fair it’s dumb anyway. No harm, no foul bro. How are we going to get a new drummer as good as Boomer?” Brick’s like, “we’ll find someone better!” They won’t because, to give credit where credit is due, Boomer is quite a good musician.

Butch is like well this still sucks though cause we just got all those t-shirts. Like we’re broke af and they’ve got Boomer plastered on the front of them too. We can’t just replace them. Brick’s like “we’ll find someone better and someone who looks like him nbd.”

Brick and Butch don’t know any other drummers and they certainly don’t know anyone who drums and also looks like Boomer, so they make flyers~  

“Annnd,” Brick chirped, grabbing the page from the printer, “done. There. Perfect. We just need to make like a thousand more of these and post them around the City.”

Butch yanked the flyer from his hand with a frown, his eyes jumping around it before he grimaced, “Man, I dunno.”

“What?”

“Must have blonde hair, blue eyes,” Butch looked up, “reads kinda neo-nazi-ish.”

Brick ripped the page from Butch with wide eyes, rereading the flyer. After a second he hissed, “Ah fuck. Fucking Boomer.”

“He ruins everything.” Butch solemnly agreed.

“Fascist can’t even be punk.” Brick huffed, glaring at the flyer.

Together they sat back in their chairs and regarded the flyer before turning their attention back to his cracked computer screen. After a few moments of hmm’ing and haa’ing, Brick snapped his fingers and leaned over his keyboard. He made the font big, bold, and red so it couldn’t be ignored at the bottom of the flyer:

‘CAN’T BE A FKING SKINHEAD’

“Dude,” Butch nodded, reading over his shoulder, “it’s beautiful.”

And then the boys post the flyers everywhere. Including their school, where most people ignore them regularly. Their flyers however become popular scratch paper for the art department where one Ms. Bubbles Utonium stumbles upon them. She takes it as a sign. She’s a bit of a drum hobbyist, but her dad has had enough of the racket and she needs to find a new place to play. She’s not practiced or anything, but she fits the four requirements to a “T”. She has blonde hair. She has blue eyes. She can play the drums. And she isn’t a skinhead! She thinks it’s silly they even had to clarify that. She’s not too into punk music but even she knows fascists can’t be punk! So on the day of auditions, she shows up with her drum sticks and gets in line!!

Brick and Butch are floored when Bubbles Utonium comes strutting in. They only know her because she’s a popular cheerleader at their school and shares an art class with Boomer, who only ever complains about the perky upbeat girl. Their first thought is to laugh, but when she starts playing, they’re like “oh?” She’s inexperienced, but she’s got a knack for it, and (as Butch points out) she is not a skinhead. Since she’s the best they’ve seen all day they offer her the position on the condition that she dresses like a dude when they play because of their t-shirt dilemma. She tells them that’s no problem, she likes playing dress-up, but they’ve got to work band practice around her cheer schedule. They agree.

The RowdyRuffs are a band once more.

Boomer btws is NOT AT ALL jealous. Not at ALL. Nope. (he totally is and he’s very obvious about it). In one of the early band practices that he barges in on to “check out the new drummer,” he’s ten shades of betrayed when he sees Bubbles of all people in his seat. He does not like Bubbles. Bubbles thinks Boomer is the bees-knees. He doesn’t like her because she’s good at just about everything he wants to be good at—except for drumming, which he proves then and there and is like “your new drummer sucks, later losers, you wish you still had me, by the way, dad wanted me to tell you he’s making tacos and they’ll be ready in ten.” Bubbles is not deterred by his behavior, thinks how he plays is really cool, and wants him to teach her, which he continuously refuses to do, but that doesn’t stop her from pestering him. (eventually, he does tho just a fyi; Bubbles is hard to resist)  

Jumping forward in time, Princess becomes involved as their PR manager and decided that Bubbles shouldn’t act as Boomer anymore. They need “horny old man money” and everyone’s like ooooh yeah, horny old man money, neat! So, in all her genius, Princess decides to make Bubbles “Brat.” And boom! Here’s our first powerpunk girl.

It’s a hit with the crowd that the band is slowly starting to amass. After accidentally hearing Butch goof around on his bass, Buttercup ((((Bubbles’ sister, who at the beginning of the story takes pity on Butch and Brick and volunteers to help teach her sister how to be “punk rock”. She is also forced to drive Bubbles to and from band practice (because Buttercup is being punished for failing math)))) encourages him to pitch his songwriting to the rest of the band. He refuses. Brick’s the guy who writes the songs, who’s very bad at it.

However, after another shitty song about some mystery girl Brick swears he doesn’t have a crush on, Bubbles has enough and assigns the boys some songwriting homework. Butch writes a banger and their little band gets more recognition. They’re now playing sizeable gigs, but wait! OH NO! Bubbles and Butch aren’t going to make it to the show on time. Boomer’s like, “shit Brick! The show must go on, dude, but where are you going to find two people who know how to play the exact same instruments as Butch/Bubs, know all their cues, and all the songs in the next ten minutes????” Brick looks at Buttercup (plays bass like Butch/almost at all the band practices/has a lovely voice despite what she says) and Boomer (who was Bubbles before Bubbles) and goes “huh, genius, I wonder.” Buttercup’s like “oh no, wait wait! I’ve got stage freight!” To which Brick says, “get over yourself and join my shitty fucking band!”  

And that’s how we get our Brute <3 (named by Brick). She’s a hit!

They just keep getting bigger and bigger as a band, and record labels are starting to take an interest, so after Brute debuts, everyone’s like welp, Brick needs his counterpart too. And it’s eventually Blossom, but that comes about in a roundabout way because Brick’s feelings are still hurt (she’s the girl he was crushing on, but she rejects him). Eventually, Bubs is like “listen, Brick, we need a Berserk (Butch name’s this imaginary person), and it's coming down to the wire. Blossom can do it. I know she can. It’s for the band.” So, he sucks it up and Blossom hesitantly accepts (she’s very much preppy pop to whatever Berserk is lol so it’s difficult for her at first). After a heart-to-heart with Brick, they make amends (I think I’ll leave it platonic for now tbh) and their first show altogether is a hit!

As always, there’s a happy ending :) They get their record deal lol.

I can’t write songs. I’m shit at poetry, but I was thinking about just choosing irl music and mashing them up, so the music is still “original” but people can also be like omg I remember that horrible song from my emo “phase.” I have to find a good song list first. If anyone’s still reading send me some recs. The music I like is too embarrassing.  

#my writing #my outlines #outline ask game #BUBBLE BAND #this one just makes me smile because I get to listen to all my music from middle school #don't get me wrong middle school was shit #but the music was top notch #ppg fic outline

[world-of-socks]

Chapter one: Spies are Forever (sorry I had to…*)

*If you don’t know what Spies Are Forever is please look it up. The full thing is on Youtube, you won’t regret it!!

(Got the idea from @steven-universe-au-prompts. I’m still working on concept art and stuff I’ll post that later. Anyways this was super fun to write and I hope you all enjoy this first look into hopefully will be a series that I’ll complete for once lol)

...

“Soldiers!” A pearl roared to the oncoming sea of quartzes and other miscellaneous gems and fusions.

Nobody was paying her any mind, the camp was full of excitement, everyone was talking to each other and conversing about the next move and where they were stationed. The air was so abuzz with different conversations that Yellow Tourmaline heard none of them. Nor did she care. She was here for one purpose and one purpose alone, and that right now, was to hear that renegade pearl speak.

“SOLDIERS!” she roared again.

A few looked up and then went back to chatting.

The pearl looked towards everyone’s leader, the rose quartz, who was speaking with a fusion, and then turned towards the crowd once more, “SHUT! UP!!”

Everyone turned to face her, and ceased their conversations. Yellow watched the pearl sigh, and then continue,

“We all appreciate you being here, your service is greatly needed in our fight to win back this wonderful planet. Though, we will need to have some form of organization in our camps, you will now hear a word from my general and yours: ROSE QUARTZ!”

The crowd erupted into applause and roars and cheers. These gems loved this Quartz, loved her more than any gem Yellow Tourmaline had ever seen. The Rose Quartz dismissed the applause, humbly, and then began to speak.

“You wonderful gems, you’ve worked so hard your entire life to please someone who doesn’t care about you, or your well-being. You’ve slaved away for the whims of a dictator who thinks you are a pile of sediment, unworthy. Those days are over. When you are under my command you are free to be whoever you want, and to fuse with whoever you want!”

There was another planet shaking roar of applause, Yellow just stood there, dumbfounded, she didn’t understand. The Rose quartz held up her hand to silence them once more.

“Though I would like to make one thing clear. There will still have to be a level of organization in my camps! You will be organized by your station, you won’t be shattered if you don’t listen, but if we want to do this properly, it would be preferred if you would do as I tell you. Though, all ideas are welcome! Pearl will continue from here.”

She then stepped away and resumed talking to the fusion, her pearl then started commanding everyone on where to go.

“The front lines will be stationed in the first two barracks, the blacksmiths will be stationed…..” her voice seemed to fade away.

After the meeting, Yellow knew exactly where she was to go, she was a general on the front lines (she had perfected the basic general appointment test) and would be staying with other generals in the barracks. She hadn’t met any of them yet, and wasn’t thrilled about staying a week with everyone else, but she knew she had to.

She pushed back the fabric of the tent and stepped in timidly, inside was a table with chairs and a few gems gathered around it, a few cots (she only recently learned what those were), and a weapons rack. As she walked in a few of the gems looked up at her, a few looked a little wary, but the others appeared friendly.

“Heya, we got a new one ‘ere!” exclaimed an Ametrine.

She got up from her table where the rest of the generals were huddled over a map, and approached her. Yellow backed up slightly, she wasn’t used to being interacted with in such a way.

“Ey, I’m not gonna ‘urt ya.” Ametrine gave her a pat on the shoulder, “I’m Ametrine, by the way, but you can call me Ame, everyone does.”

Ame looked her up and down to take her in, Yellow watched the evaluation process go on in her head, “Let’s see ‘ere, a newby most likely from, what, Yellow’s court?”

Yellow stiffened up, not used to the informal addressing of the name, “Yes.”

“Ah! rough, mate. I was too. She’s a bit cold, ain't she? Kinda emotionless, yeah?” Ame shook her head, hands in her pockets,“Yeah, I’m real glad I left when I did. I started feelin’ real low, always scared of gettin’ shattered, y’know? I’m feelin’ much betta’ under Rose’s command, though, no need to worry ‘bout little ol’ me.”

Yellow just gave a weak laugh.

“Ya don’t talk much do ya?” Ame remarked, “What’s ya name anyway?”

She straightened up, “I’m Yellow Tourmaline.”

“Do ya go by anythin’ shorter?”

“No.” she retorted simply.

“Well that’ll have to change.” Ame thought for a moment, “I’m sure durin’ trainin’ tomorrow a betta’ name will reveal itself.”

There was an awkward silence yet again, Yellow wasn’t very good at interacting like this.

“Lemme’ introduce ya to the team!” Ame said with fake or real enthusiasm, Yellow couldn’t tell.

“This is Black Opal, but we call her Bo. She don’t say much either, but she’s a great archer and an even betta’ general. Her surprise attacks are some of the best and smartest in the biz!” Ame pointed to a tall and darkly colored gem towards the left of the table, she looked up and simply nodded in greeting.

“Over there’s Emerald, but we just call her Bear. She got the name cuz’ we went on a scoutin’ mission, and ran across an earth creature, Rose said it's called a bear, and she got chased by that thing for hours! Once she got fed up though she stopped in her tracks and screamed in its face and scared it off into the woods! She’s more a bear than it was!” The Emerald rolled her eyes, she must’ve been used to the anecdote.

“There’s old Peach Sapphire over there, Bismuth, and oh that there’s Cat’s Eye, don’t mess with them, they’re a tricky one. I could tell ya a million stories about all these guys.” Ame laughed, but quickly stopped when she saw the unamused look on Yellow’s face, “Ah, but, I won’t… I won’t.”

Yellow strode across the room to the map on the table, and looked at it for a moment.

“Judging our strategies, are you?” Peach Sapphire retorted to Yellow’s glance at the map.

“Wha-... no.” Yellow lied.

“Ah well you were going to.” she mused.

“I thought only Blue Sapphire’s could predict the future.”she grumbled, realizing she had been caught.

“Hm, yes, and that’s where you're wrong. Blue Sapphires can predict the future more accurately than I, but no, they aren’t the only ones.” She sighed, “And if you’re worried that we won’t succeed without good incite on the future we have a rare Blue Sapphire on our team. She’s fused with Ruby, they go by Garnet by the way, she’s Rose’s lefthand gem.”

Yellow cringed slightly at the mention of fusion, “The Pearl is the right hand?” she clarified.

“Yes.” Peach sighed and looked back at the map, “Newcomers aren’t permitted to be strategists until they go through a week of training. Our apologies, but this war has been long and hard, I’ve lost friends, loved ones, excuse me if I don’t trust you right away.”

“I… see.” the room was silent, a distant grief hung in the air.

“I assume you aren’t one to sleep are you?” Emerald asked, breaking the emptiness, “The newbys usually aren’t.”

“No, I don’t sleep.” she replied.

“That’ll change!” Ame called from where she lay on her cot, her cap over her eyes.

A few of the other generals snickered.

“Well even if you don’t sleep I recommend resting on the cots until morning.” Emerald added kindly.

“Is there really nothing else I can assist with?” she asked, desperate, not loving the idea of being left alone with her thoughts, surrounded by strange gems.

“Not until we get a chore list, a training schedule, or a command.” Emerald replied.

“Or until Jasper comes in here and breaks something.” Peach muttered.

Ame laughed from her cot, even Black Opal snickered slightly.

Yellow sat in the cot the second closest to the tent opening. She lay down on her back stiffly, and closed her eyes, but when nothing changed she sat up and looked around. She hated the feeling of not being in charge, but she knew it was only going to have to be for a week.

After an hour or so of sifting through the pamphlets for newcomers, she was startled by a loud sound. The tent ripped open and a giant Jasper burst through with a terrified look on its face. Yellow jumped to her feet.

The Jasper ran over to where Ame lay presumably asleep and shook her violently.

“Ame! Ame!!” she cried, “You gotta wake up! Please wake up!”

“Wha-... Jazz what’s,” she yawned, “What’s goin’ on ya loon.”

“I was just-...I was just!” she panted and stuttered, “I was just-... practicing my acting! Free acting lessons with Jazz as soon as the sun goes down!”

“Nobody needs ya classes Jazz, not in this war. Besides no non-sleepin newby would ever join.” Ame muttered readjusting her cap.

Jasper stamped her foot, “Yeah, but MORALE! Ya know?” she turned excitedly to Yellow who felt more uncomfortable than ever before, “Hey, would you wanna join?”

“Uh… no.” She answered, Jazz frowned, “Uh I mean- no, not really.” she stuttered.

“Dang,” Jazz mused, “This one IS new. Welp, they're always open if ya ever change your mind.”

Jazz crashed onto an empty spot on the floor which had blankets, that were probably chipped in from the other generals, for her to lay on. Yellow hadn’t noticed the broken cot pieces before.

Yellow resumed her sitting position at the end of the makeshift bed and continued looking through the pamphlet, more to look busy, she had already read the entire thing. After an hour or so the other generals retired, save for Cat’s eye who, without a word, glided to the tent entrance and stood guard.

Once she determined it wouldn’t be awkward to stop reading, she layed back down, this time on her side. She stared at the dirty tent fabric.

It would just be for a week, then she could transform back into her usual form, get into her ship, and drive home with whatever plans she could find. Nobody would know, not even the others on homeworld. She could finally end this fight once and for all.

#my writing #steven universe #su #yellow diamond #steven universe au #su au #blue diamond #bellow diamond #bd #bellow #yd #ametrine #jasper #cat’s eye #bismuth #peach sapphire #pearl #emerald #rose quartz #ruby #sapphire #garnet #yellow tourmaline #guys for real tho please watch spies are forever #spies are forever #starkid mention #anyways hope you enjoyed #let me know if you wanna see more #loved writing the other generals #each and every star fell to earth au

[halfusek]

1) I have a theory regarding what happens in Abomination. As you had explained, both timelines, both in Real World and Story World were connected until the break in Story World occurs with the death of S!Thomas, but there are some details that I consider important to understand the reason why Magenta did that. You mentioned that that death altered what was going to happen in the future in Story World, what if it happened... But what if S!Joey did it on purpose to avoid the same fate as

Hey ho hello there! Thank you for submitting this theory, it definitely isn’t a nuisance to me, I absolutely love it when people dive so deep into my story and have so many thoughts about it, I’m flattered! :D

And while it’s an interesting theory, I’ll tell you right off the bat that Magenta doesn’t really have that kind of insight to the reader’s mind nor mine. The 4th wall breaks indeed are supposed to be meta but it also was kind of a jab at the real Joey in that moment from him. There is no input from me as a “character” in the story, as Abomination was supposed to be a theory turned into a comic all along I’m only including there events which I have thought to be possible to be canon [with exceptions for a few “OCs” I had to make - random employees to fullfill other roles].

But there is of course a reason why story Joey is aware of, well, being in a story as there is a reason for him to act different than the real Joey! :D

Characters from the real world being now in the story world are more exaggerated, more “cartoony” as in the values that pop out most about them in reality, pop out here to the max. As for the story itself, their reality consist only of things relevant to the story. And finally, there’s this whole thing with the objectives these characters have and how they interpret them.

In a sense they are different characters. Especially those that haven’t died in real life.

But at the same time they are kind of the same person. Especially those that died in real life.

With a few exceptions here and there. :)

And this is where my answer is gonna get long with pictures attached and rambling so I’m gonna put the rest under the cut~

So, you know how there’s the Tombstone Picnic cartoon with it’s missing ending, right? As in - in the canon Bendy universe - when Bendy runs away from a skeleton and there’s a shadowy figure standing over him which he looks up and smiles and the screen goes black.

I’ve referrenced it a few times throughout the comic because it’s really important.

Like this old-ass panel comes from Part 2 and some events happening in it are Joey and Bendy watching the episode with Bendy getting uncomfortable about being imperfect - he looks at what’s supposed to be his arms and legs.

Generally parts 1-4 aren’t my proudest work art-wise nkjdf but there’s some things Very important to my little universe here.

I’d say especially pay attention to panel 101 in this batch.

Then, eons later, there’s part 33 and it’s one that got a few people confused that the comic is ending because this is the title I gave it when posted:

With the last panel of this part like this:

Because, technically, this is where the story of the real studio ends and is a turning point of the comic. So, in a way, it is the end. But not the end of the story.

What I assumed with the world of Bendy was that there are two worlds: the real one and the story one which is more like a cartoon. Not just because the story world looks cartoon, it even acts like one with repeating over and over again and not being able to change what’s been done in it [save for few details].

An ending of a very important cartoon episode is missing and never comes and that’s probably what is on the end reel that Henry plays when he comes around but playing the end doesn’t stop things from repeating, it simply puts an end to the current iteration of the cycle.

Back to the comic’s timeline - the story world is created.

I’m a silly goose, I know. :^)

Story Joey gets created and yeeted into the story world asmr - that’s panels from part 35 and it’s very short and weird. It’s not entirely meant to be taken literally.

It starts from little parallels between story Joey and story Henry - at least for how it is in my universe, they are both looping and starting from reading a letter from each other’s real life counterparts.

In the next part [36] this is what story Joey is looking at when he breaks the 4th wall and this is where the events start changing and he kills Thomas before he quits - generally part 36 is the “equivalent” of part 18 with some repeated panels and some a bit edited and these entirely new from the new timeline. But this is all for laying down the differences betwen real and story Joey off the bat.

You could say that real Joey “would do anything to make his dreams possible” but reastically speaking you’d expect a person to have some kind of brakes, that stop them from doing literally anything. Well, as story Joey is an exaggerated version of real Joey, those brakes kind of get done. He’s dead pan fixated on doing literally anything. And as real Joey on his way of moral decay accepted murder as a solution sometimes, story Joey kind of just doesn’t hesitate.

Another thing about parts 18 and 36 is the mention of Henry.

I haven’t gotten on it quite yet with the story Joey but what I’m gonna say is this: take real Joey’s obsession with blaming Henry for leaving mixed with leftover feelings he has for him and try to... simplyfy them and turn them Up.

Spoilers: it’s a mess.

OKAY BUT GOING BACK TO THE TOMBSTONE PICNIC WHICH IS REALLY WHAT MATTERS IN THIS RAMBLE-

In part 35 I lay down that I chose Joey to be the shadow in Tombstone Picnic.

At the time I took this decision I did it because I figured it just suits my version of the story better but honestly as of now I’m ever more convinced that it’s the case.

Because the reason why it being Henry would be cool is that if he was in a cartoon then he could be imprinted from this part of the reel - as this is apparently what’s needed in universe to print ink figures - so this is how in-game Henry would come to be.

BUT

Now DCTL has confirmed that regular humans can get inked and in BATDR trailers we met Audrey that kinda just looks like a cartoonified person which is very likely what happened to Henry. Also there’s this part in DCTL:

When Buddy Boris wakes up after being turned his Boris - cartoon - part of their mind is awoken. He sees a shadowy figure that seems dysproportional to him implying he sees someone with human-like proportions.

Then Buddy wakes up and he sees... Joey. 

To me the parallel is pretty straight-forward tbh  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But, of course, I decided for it to be Joey long before DCTL came out so I guess it’s just a cool thing to point out lol

The one thing with how I presented it in part 35 is that Joey wears the labcoat - technically he shouldn’t be wearing it, he should look like Joey usually looked like when the cartoon was made - in 1929. But not gonna lie it makes more sense for the shadowy figure to look like that with the coat included :P

And so story Joey takes away the ending by... literally ripping it away, tearing it from the reel. It’s kinda literal and kinda a metaphor.

The explanation for it is my main point here. Why I brought up that story characters are kinda different from real characters.

Because story Joey IS his own character. He’s been his own character since 1929. He’s literally a print of the cartoon. Right from the Tombstone Picnic reel.

Both he and THE END.

And here’s a little theory/headcanon - I’d like to think that cartoon reels/parts of them used for printing cartoon figures kind of just... get erased from the universe. It would explain why we never get to see that part of the cartoon and why things like that happen in the Handbook:

Ah, a convenient random splash of ink.

So, that’s why story Joey is literally ripping the end away from the cartoon world, because this part is being taken away. Forever.

And what happens with Henry ending the story is that he... imprints the ending itself.

The end is brought to life, and the end = death and welp to me it appears that Henry has the role of the “reaper” as he’s connected to maaaaaaanyyyy death themes, literally called to “be one to bring death” and can get a cool scythe.

Soooo story Joey isn’t just story version of the real Joey, he’s not just Joey 2.0.

He’s the shadowy figure and essentially - a toon.

That was the main thought of this ramble but as I’m on it I’ll throw more stuff linked to this:

In part 41 story Joey visits Bendy for the first time in the story world - real Joey did it right after Thomas tried to quit, but again, story Joey had different priorities.

And. Throwback. Remember part 2? Where Bendy and real Joey watched the Tombstone Picnic? The reason here it’s Tasty Trio Troubles is kinda because in part 40 Butcher Gang figures were created from Lacie, Shawn and Grant so this is like a follow-up. 

But back to part 2. Bendy was uncomfortable with his lack of limbs back then.

Parts 1-2 and 41 have a few panels that are intentionally drawn to look similiar or almost the same even, same with dialogue, like that:

Never trust me when I do that.

The reason is because-

I’m a clown. :o)

#WOW THIS GOT LONG IM SORRY FDNFDLK #im very passionate about me lore #bendy and the ink machine #abomination #joey drew #bendy the dancing demon #the ink demon #story!joey #halfpost #long post #body horror #squish #magenta #halfask

[ghosty-schnibibit]

multiple days early taz grad liveblog! ^u^

ngl this took me completely by surprise and i didn't end up listening to it until around ten o'clock, it’s a bit before one in the morning as i’m posting this lol. managed to avoid any spoilers tho!

how's everybody doing in quarantine? i've mainly been playing minecraft and doing relistens of various podcasts, and just generally staying home :P

anyways, on to the episode!

i was not expecting that intro holy shit, this is so meta

as much as i loved the sillier intro i missed the pretty music the last couple episodes, i’m glad trav’s found a way for us to have both 

"the offending skeletons" pfff

oh man this sounds so pretty, wow

griffin w h y

well that's terrifying

"your creepy panopticon continues to function" gary serves the eye

yeah who fucking died to make their room available 

awww, is fitzroy scared of ghosts?

does firbolg have ghost hunting abilities???

... that's probably just from the spectral cats tho right

"they're steps of the mind" travis what does that even mean

:o!!! fitzroy the cussing boy

um??? fitzroy wtf are you talking about

yay! crepes for my boy! :D

better than i could do lmao

oh great, more creepy buckminster time :|

... dang, that's an interesting choice. i'm trying to think in-character of what would lead fitz to not telling them, and i've come to four main possibilities: a) fitzroy doesn't trust anyone at the school, even his friends, b) fitzroy hasn't found a way to tell them w/o being in the presence of a gary, c) fitzroy is worried that if he tells anyone they might get disappeared like leon, or d) a combination of all of the above.

kumquat? oh it's those little orangey guys, okay, continuing argo's citrus fixation then lol

"my new hero" can't wait to see all the maplekeene fic that comes out of that line lmao

well fuck that's sad :(

aww firbolg my sweet baby

ilu firbolg :')

OH FUCK, did leon send the broach as a message?

i have never gone from laughing to worried so fast holy shit

... so he's not just mind-wiped, he's being actively controlled

good idea fitz, this is very smart

another moment reminding me of how much i love the firbolg's character and how the other boys interact with him 

yay! my favorite girl is back :D

my sweet boys, these are such bad puns, absolute morons the lot of you

argo my dipshit son ilu

she is a necromancer lol

oh fun! dad lich!

... i need art of rainer as a blupjeans baby stat

"he's not not dead!" i love this description

i cannot tell if that's a euphemism or if he's insinuating rainer is some kind of frankenstein

oh dang :O

fiztroy you absolute ding dong ilu

oh fun, new npc :D

go firbolg, nice

so leon actually managed to get through to the guild before higglemas did whatever he did to him, and hieronymus and higglemas appear to be on the same page vis-a-vis wanting to keep the guild out of the school... fuck

althea, good to know, i'm so bad at spelling, i was hearing it as alfia

yay! i missed the money zone :D

aww, thank you trav

wait is that the end? does taz just not have ad reads anymore???

hey what the fuck, i am worried for my boys trav you can't just drop that on me apropos of nothing

how trippy for the rest of the staff do you think it was that all of a sudden jackyl's creepy voice suddenly turned into a lilting brogue

argo my sweet boy

IT'S AN ANTI GARY ZONE

... is he going to- yep, he's telling him about the hot mint

argo my sweet boy you are a valued member of the group

"hot mint is nothing new" oh my darling

ilu jackyl

what do you mean not from a person? do they think fitzroy is somehow linked to the demons in the forest?

thank you for that trav i am bad at remembering scenery details

i get what jackyl's saying here but like... there are ways for argo to ask fitz about his magic without being suspicious. they're pretty okay friends at this point, i don't think it's too much of a stretch to bring up magic in conversation like “hey, i have magic from my parents, do you think your magic could have come from yours?”

argo that's kind of a hollow threat, i don't think you can leave, they'd probably kill you :/

ilu argo my sweet boy

yikes, goddamn, the bad roles are back for argo

what was the end of that line clint

NICE, good rolls are back :)

clint you absolute dipshit

it's not boring! i'm very proud of clint getting so many good rolls in a row!

i love this so much lol

ooooh, this is some pretty music

fitz is on supplemental levels of paranoia

i can get that rationale, he can't solve anything if he can't trust his own perceptions

so he's taking a crack at artificing, fun times

this is an extremely good interaction, i am loving this

what does your little high pitched HMMM mean fitzroy? what are you doing my dipshit son???

oh fun, drawf then i'm guessing

green and gold were my university colors trav don't do this to me

fitzroy sounds like me every time i fall down the rabbit hole of metalworking videos on youtube and think “i wanna make a sword!”

... huh. i have to go back and listen to ep. 7, but is crabtree part of the unbroken chain? i'd be more inclined to trust her if so, i don't know if fitz would be safe crafting a mind protecting charm with her if there's even the slightest possibility that she's in on whatever higglemas is doing

fitzroy my dipshit son, you are an absolute dummy, you are the worst

griffin you planned an entire campaign around magical items

i don't like the sound of that "oh!"

oh this has gone just about as bad as it could have gone

that is absolutely not going to happen

nice thinking griffin, holy cow

not a fan of the foreshadowing implications of that

precision is certainly something fitzroy doesn't have

yes thank you for not doing that griffin

this is probably a bad idea and i am worried for firbolg

"let the wiki show, your honor" i want to check the wiki now to see if anyone’s added that lol

jesus that's a creepy feeling

griffin you have no right to make me cry like this

justin you've murdered me

welp, this is extremely bad :|

what are you doing fitzroy, what is the end game here fitzroy

okay, okay that's a good idea but this music is very terrifying

maybe also talk about what's going on with buckminster please, i am so worried about leon

i am at odds with myself because i adore the friendship development that's going on here, but i'm also so worried for literally all of them and poor argo is being left out

oh nice, very excited to see how that goes next ep

thank you for lifting the mood some griffin lol

clint you've killed me

oh i am so looking forward to this conversation

so a lot went down this episode, huh? compared to how lighthearted and silly the last two episodes were we got a ton of plot development, and in retrospect i’m glad we had an emotional buffer before things got too hairy. i am very worried for my boys, i personally think travis is nailing the build-up of suspense and mistrust between characters while keeping the danger factor mysterious enough that there’s no obvious solution as to who’s right not to trust who. i can’t wait to head into the tag and see the kinds of theories people are coming up with because dang if i don’t have some thoughts.

see you guys whenever the next ep comes out i guess!

#taz #taz graduation #the adventure zone #taz spoilers #ghosty liveblogs taz #it's late enough at night i debated posting this now and just queueing it for tomorrow #but i really wanted to throw my thoughts out before i went to bed bc holy shit this ep

[onceuponatimewithhaleigh]

Time to catch up!

I'm so sorry I kinda vanished! Well, I didn't kind of vanish. I straight poofed. So I'm going to catch you guys up on what's happened since the start of August. Quite a lot has gone on, and I needed to kinda - I don't really know? Mentally I was just gone. Like August happened? I don't remember it. But anyhow here we go!

My Skin Spot:

Not cancer! My doctor so politely told me "Sometimes spots just pop up as we... get older." So. Guess I'm just gonna have some serious blemishes the older I get. Haha! I mean, not going to lie, I'm salty about it. But I'd rather be 'getting old' than have cancer. So that's all good!

Meeting with Dr. Lak:

Doctor Lak is my future surgeon for my gastric bypass. She's really really nice. Super friendly and super supportive. She got me all setup - so I have a slue of appointments made. Due to my insurance, I have to see a dietitian for six months consecutively before I can have the surgery. I also have to pass a nicotine test. So - I have to quit smoking ASAP. Which, I need to anyhow. (more on my smoking at the end lol) but overall she was absolutely fantastic!

College(Part One):

Before classes started I talked to my amazing Academic Advisor, Kathrine - and I told her some of my interests and my plans for after college. And we both kinda poked around at my minoring in Photography. To me, that wasn't really enough, so I am now a double major!

OBGYN:

I haven't said anything here, but I have plans in becoming a mother as soon as my health permits. Now I am not in a relationship, nor do I plan to be. I want to be a single mother. Some people think I'm absolutely bat-shit crazy for that. But I think, for me that is the best thing. I have an extremely supportive family, and I have zero doubt in my mind that my child will be loved as much and so much more than they'd ever possibly need! The issue here was A. my weight. B. my family has a history of fertility issues. C. I have PCOS. D. I don't have a partner haha, Kinda need two to tango ;) That all being said, I had mentioned this to my OBGYN, who retired randomly on me in March(with no notice - canceled pre-existing appointments, and with no doctors accepting new patients). I had been telling him about bad pains I'd been having for a while, and he never really listened to me or made any move to investigate. I did my own research, as well as spoke to people about it - and thought I may have Endometriosis. I brought my thoughts to him. He shrugged and said "That's probably it." and made Z E R O effort to figure it out. After three months of pain being horrible to the point sometimes when I was driving, I'd have a flare-up and I'd have to pull over because the pain was so bad I couldn't breathe or see. Then he retired. Then there were no doctors accepting anyone new. So. FINALLY - August 10th I get into a new OBGYN, Dr. Curtis. The first impression was "dudes young and super hip this is gonna be weird..." I'm weird when it comes to doctors, but doctors messing around down there I'm even weirder LOL. I feel like if my OB was a woman there's some weird competition 'Mines prettier...' I have no idea don't judge me xD I told him my wants and things and he told me sadly some older doctors just don't care. they're very black and white. And he was spot on. He told me I probably don't have endometriosis. Put me back on birth control, told me to have the gastric surgery, and then he'd get me in for an exam, and he'd get me to a fertility clinic. He supported me 100% in wanting to become a single mother. He did say that I was the youngest he'd ever seen himself, but he had no issues moving forward with me doing that. Told me a year after surgery, he'd get me to a clinic and we'd get me a baby xD

Dietitian:

My dietitian's name is Andrea, and guys, I love her. She is so goofy as scatterbrained it makes me giggle! I learned a lot during that call though! (all my appointments with gastric have been on the computer/phone) So, this hospital does post-surgery stuff differently than any others in the area, and they've found it's got the best results. So after surgery, I'd usually be on a liquid diet for 6 weeks. Which is standard. Nope! Not here! After surgery, I'll be on a pure protein diet. Not shakes- PUREAED MEAT. How gross right? Meat slushie anyone? Gag lol She goes "Everyone seems to love the pureed eggs" and I literally gagged in the call xD This is gonna be the death of me. Another thing that had me completely shook was that with a stomach the size of an EGG after surgery, I still have to drink 64oz of water a day. She said I can only drink 2oz at a time. So I basically have to take a shot of water every 10 minutes ALL DAY LONG. But! I can't drink anything at all for 30 minutes BEFORE I eat, I can't drink WHILE EATING(which I have to eat 3/4 a cup over 45 minutes-_-), and I can't drink shit for 30 minutes AFTER I eat. So. This shit's gonna be wild man. I'm excited but anxious as hell. And for the rest of my life, I'll be taking vitamin supplements.

Weight:

Currently, my weight is 417lbs

College(Part Two):

So. Friday(Aug. 28th) before the term starts, I have a massive breakdown. That Monday the first week the course was available to look at. We could submit anything, but we could go in and do the work and submit it later. Well. I got in there in my Introduction to Liberal Arts(IDS-100), and boooyyy did I overreact. :) I freaked out. I got overwhelmed because my IDS-100 professor is a very longwinded man. The email I had gotten made everything seem way way more complicated than necessary. And I basically went into spiral mode. 

'is a college education reallllyyyy that important?'

'What's the point?'

'I'm gonna fail anyhow, so why try?'

'My family will think I'm a failure...'

'I shouldn't even try, so I don't fail.'

A whole slue of shit thoughts went through my head, and I took it, man. That little demon in my brain just bitching "Never good enough. Not smart enough! Failure." And I sat there and took it like a little bitch. I got so bad I called my advisor, Good ole Kathrine, and LUCKY FOR ME; she was busy and didn't answer. I had the ability to talk to another advisor, but I didn't wanna sob into a stranger's ear so LOL. I called my dad when I was balls deep into a panic attack, and he came down and talked me out of it, and then told me he'd sit with me when I do classwork so he can help if I need it. Which, It's not really that I need help, I was worried about my comprehension of the information I read in class. Because I'm a very visual learner and one of those that talks shit out. And being online, I'm alone in my room so uh lol But yeah. He talked me down, got me all calmed down. Then the next day, my advisor called and asked why I'd called and she apologized for not being available and I laughed and told her straight "It's better you were busy, Cause I'd have dropped out." and she was shocked. Told her all of what happened and what was going on in my head and she told me she was gonna set up weekly appointments with me after each module opens. a new module opens every Monday. and she said she was gonna call me every Tuesday. I went on a spiel about how I feel ridiculous cause I'm being a burden. And she squashed that thought hella fast. So long story short. I am so blessed to have a support system between my dad and my wonderful advisor Kathrine. Lol

Boooo:

I gained a new allergy and lost an old one. I have no idea how that worked. But. No longer allergic to Soy. But now have a TERRIBLE reaction to all dairy products... Which fuckin blows because I live in Wisconsin, and I L O V E cheese. -_- Cheese hates me. :(BYE GUYS!

Whoops!

Forgot about the smoking bit, this is an Edit lmao Basically - TOTALLY thought I could drop smoking cold turkey cause that's how I'd done it every time I'd quit smoking before. Welp. Not this time :) I was a raging bitch, and a HORRIBLE migraine that was so bad I couldn't do ANYTHING. And to top it all off, I had a panic attack lol So. It's the time of year I usually start to quit anyhow. I'm so weird. I'm a seasonal smoker. Living in Wisconsin I am NOT keen on smoking in below zero temperatures in winter. I'd like to keep my fingers. This year I started smoking earlier than usual because I was out of state where freezing winter temperatures were a minimum of like, 37*F and I'm like *cackles in Wisconsinite* CHILDS PLAY!!! So, I started smoking again in December lol Anyway, now- my dad's in control of my smokes. He gives me my daily allowance in a ziplock bag which made me laugh so fucking hard because just like I actually said to him "I feel like you're my dealer and I'm sneaking something naughty!" lol Right now I'm aloud 10 a day. Which is probably 3-5 less than I usually smoke a day. So. I'm kinda feeling it. But my dads controlling them. So this should be fun. :) That's all! Bye guys!

[notttt-che]

Vograce stickers review

I don’t usually make reviews here but I felt it would be opportune since there isn’t any out there and if you are looking for options and you can’t find any soul talking about it, then you would rather avoid that option, right?

When it comes to stickers, I always print them locally. It’s pretty much a hit and miss here, the people who print here are very casual and take little care of their machines. One day the prints can be nice and the other a total mess. Since the designs I was doing required kiss cutting(So you can peel off the sticker out of the sheet) and I don’t have a plotter like a machine like a silhouette or a cricut I decided I wanted this time my stickers to be made by a company.

First I contacted a company in the US which I heard good things about(Mind you, I’m from Peru) But they were taking a while to reply. I don’t want to comment on them much since I never fully tried their service. The thing was, time passed by and the stickers were on a void of no progress. 

I recalled then Vograce(Which is a known company based in China for making acrylic charms)was making stickers and sticker sheets(Vinyl/PVC and washi like paper) They replied very fast which make me feel things would be done on time. Here I’m posting my experience with making stickers(I had done charms with them before)

Communication:

Speed: Fast! Yet pay in mind because of timezones the exchange could be delayed.

Language barrier: This must be the massive Vograce downside of them all. As someone who speaks English as a second language, I have a hard time to make myself understandable. Vograce reps are pretty much the same. I think it’s best to keep messages short and simple if you can. If you need things to be fixed, then try to illustrate them so they can understand it better.

Fixing stuff: Another Vograce downside and for a moment I felt like I was talking with two different people. The first two days of exchanges went smoothly and the rep which was attending me was very nice. I sent my files via Google Drive and there were no issues at all. Yet the third day where there was another thing to fix, the rep(Which was supposed to be the same person) approached me in a rather rude manner or at least that was the impression I had. Also, they refused to check my files via Google Drive when the previous days they had any issue? This plus the fact of the timezones, the exchange was becoming really slow and tedious.

Sticker formatting:

There is no way to know how exactly they need their stickers to be formatted unless you ask them, and they are a little vague about it. I’m going to give a bit of advice here:

The way you need to format your sticker sheet is similar to how Zap Creatives request it as far as I know. You have a PSD file with a layer called “background” where the non-cut art goes. and a layer called “art” where your sticker pieces go. I had a big issue here because of the following sticker sheet:

As you can see, the borders are different colored, not just one color. 

Vograce then replied to me with a preview of all the sticker sheets that looked like this. The pink line is the cut line:

So I thought “Welp, I fucked it up, it looks like they need a bigger bleed border just in case the cut line moves a little”  I requested if it was possible to change the artwork to this one I did according to the thick white bleeding they added:

This is when things got difficult and it’s the change they were refusing to do. They told me because the stickers were very close to each other, they needed that white border. But my issue wasn’t the border but the color of it so I was clueless on why they were so against on changing it? Perhaps I’m ignoring the fact that their plotter program is different from Photoshop when it comes to replacing the artwork, but after a very very tedious exchange, the artwork remained as the preview they sent at first. So pay in mind there is a big big chance your artwork gets a white border instead of the color you requested. If anything, when printing with Vograce, avoid the nuisance and make your borders white. This may save you some headaches when sending and fixing your files.

Price:

Vograce by no means is the cheaper option if you consider shipping. The US sticker company I approached before was 20 cents less for one A6 sheet and had a flat rate of $20 of shipping for a certain amount of stickers. Vograce only ships via express(EMS) or private couriers so the shipping could be as much as the item itself depending on where you live.

Shipping:

Again, since you are paying for express shipping, things are meant to arrive quickly to your place. I knew they had a holiday so I requested if it was possible to ship it before it. Their rep promised they would, and so they did. After the previous headaches, I was relieved they kept their promise and did the effort to have them on time considering how hectic things can be before holidays.

Sticker quality:

After all the struggle I on the process the stickers finally got here. I don’t have a wide reference on how other companies make their stickers, but to me, these are very nice:

I was afraid that white border would show up but it wasn’t the case:

It’s a very precise cut.

The stickers are very thin tho! Yet they are very sticky. 

The back of the sticker paper looks like this, which might be a turn off to some people but since I’ve been printing locally, the stickers here look kinda similar with the manufacturer name so I don’t really mind.

The colors are accurate on what I sent them. Maybe they lean a liitle bit to the yellow side but that’s me being super picky because they are very close to what it looked in the screen(In CMYK) You can choose between glossy or matte finish. I knew that glossy makes your colors pop even more but I felt it could be a little jarring to have a sticker that reflective if you pasted it in your laptop or such. I’m glad the matte finish didn't dull the colors up.

How they will stand:

I have no idea yet lol. I stuck some in my most used journal and see how it will go. So far they have stuck to it well considering it’s a fabric cover.

Final thoughts:

While the end result was pleasant, I think I will try and search for another sticker company next time. Perhaps go for Vograce if you are already making a big order of something else with them. I felt the issues with communication and fixing were a turn off to me. Maybe if they had their formatting info in a PSD or in a video they would avoid so many problems with people like me who are clueless which honestly it’s a massive waste of time from both sides.

#vograce #stickers

[b0ne-marrow]

Valorverse - Reconciliation

Previous: https://www.deviantart.com/musical-medic/art/Valorverse-Broken-Ties-800780839 Pippin was gleefully trotting to his foodstand at the farmer's market, a skip in his step, carrying a bucket of fresh apples on each of his sides. He was selling this year's plentiful harvest in the form of Cider, tarts, fritters, and other lovely apple treats he had spent baking with some of his family. At the stand was Applejack, his dear mother, pulling the various confectionaries they had out of a cart and placing them on the stand. Pippin sat one of the buckets of apples on the edge of the table and the other next to the cart. He smiled at Applejack as he flipped the small sign on the stand to display that they were open. Almost as if they were waiting on them, Rainbow dash walks towards the stand in tow with her son, Breakneck right afterwards. She immediately goes to the cider as Breakneck walks up to Applejack and Pippin, his face glum and somber. He doesn't make eye contact with either of them. Rainbow walks up soon after with bits to pay for her cider. "... Pippin." Breakneck spoke up. "Oh! uh, hiya, BK!" The stallion let out an awkward and forced laugh, clearly uncomfortable with the pegasus' presence. Both Rainbow and Applejack watched with concern. "How are you doin' today?" Breakneck hung his head low, looking almost defeated in a way. "I... _{I'mSorryIBrokeYourWindow."} "..." Both Pippin and Applejack stared blankly at him for a moment. "Mama said I should apologize, even though I didn't meanit." A ping of pain shot through Pippin's chest, thinking that Rainbow more than likely knows of their "relationship" now with how close she and her son are, but he ignored it and gave Pippin a bright smile. Applejack also gave Breakneck a smile herself, hers more genuine. "Breakneck, honey, don'tcha wo-" "Why, Breakneck Blitz, we know you wouldn'ta done it on purpose! No worries. Momma and I fixed it right up!" Pippin tried to release the tension in his face and chest as he continued his put-on smile. Applejack gave him a confused but curious look, cocking an eyebrow up. "Riiight... We... sure did. Don't worry about it, Sugar. Just be more careful next time, and let us know so we don't think someone was tryin' to break in or somethin' like that." Breakneck nods his head. Rainbow looked between BK and Pippinnervously, then looked at Applejack, giving her a reassuring smile. "Soooo, uh, Applejack..., I need to tell you about somethin' Awesome! You won't BELIEVE this! Tank. had. BABIES." "Wait, I thought Tank was a bo-" Before she could react, Applejack was being pulled off by Rainbow out of the area. BK's head never rose, he avoiding eye contact with Pippin. His voice was low and grumbly, trotting behind the apple stand and stood right next to the bulky stallion. "You know what I'm really sorry about." "Don't you worry bout a thing, Breakneck!" He gave him a smile. "Oh, quit your shit, Pippin. I'm not in tha mood." Pippin's stature deflated, his fake smile turning into a frown. His ears flopped over as he looked surprised. "Look. I know we were just "experimenting" but I... I just wanted more than that. I caught feelings for you. I thought that maybe things could develop between us. I didn't mean to try and force us into something, and I should've been more.... "Sensitive" about the situation you were in with your family. Breakneck glanced over at Rainbow and Applejack, who were clearly hiding behind some bushes. Pippin sat for a moment, thinking over what he said. "Momma told me to tell you that last part, b-but I meant the rest." "...BK, I can't believe you're actually apologizin' to me." "What'sthatsupposed to mean?" He growled. "You told me yourself you don't like to and never want to." "..." "I really am sorry, Pippin." "Shit. I know you are. I'm sorry too." Pippin rests his hoof against Breakneck's shoulder. "I can't tell you how much I appreciate you tellin me your sorry and talkin about your emotions." Pippin's words took Breakneck by surprise. His cheeks went bright red. "Thanks, I guess." They sat there for a moment, listening to the crowd of ponies buying various food items. Pippin noticed a pile of bits by his register and a a few "missing" apple tarts. "I... lost my temper that night." "...As you have a tendency to do." Pippin snapped his mouth shut as BK gave him a glare. "...and I messed up pretty bad. Even I could see that." He chuckled awkwardly as he finally looked at Pippin. Pippin wrapped his arm around him and pulled him into an embrace. Breakneck's wings shot straight up, he returning the gesture and hugging him back. "I forgive you, BK. Just... work on talking about your feelings more and the anger issues, okay?" Breakneck had a brief moment of frustration before sighing. "You're right. okay, I will. I'm trying." Pippin pulls him into another hug. "Its okay. I know you're trying. Change ain't gonna happen in one day." The two hug each other for what feels like an hour, they simply enjoying being in each other's presence. "...I miss talkin' with ya, BK." Breakneck didn't respond, but felt his cheeks go flush. Holy Resourse using Batman I used a lot of things here: Background:https://www.deviantart.com/vector-brony/art/Ponyville-Market-723903997 Cider: https://www.deviantart.com/vectorshy/art/Mug-of-Cider-306718588 Apple Brown Betties (cupcakle like thing right beside the cider: https://www.deviantart.com/chainchomp2/art/Apple-Brown-Betty-451168161 Apple Fritter and Apple Cake:https://www.deviantart.com/korikian/art/365-Day-201-Drinks-and-Pies-243830006 (I also borrowed the plates from this one too) Zap Apple Cupcakes: https://www.deviantart.com/atnezau/art/Zapapple-Cupcake-278660553 Zap Apple Tart:https://www.deviantart.com/atnezau/art/Zappaple-Tart-278793044 Apple Friiter cake things:https://www.deviantart.com/90sigma/art/Applejack-s-Royal-Wedding-Bitesize-Apple- Fritters-299777985 I threw in the part about Tank having babies as a joke about how bad Rainbow is at lying, but I'm also 100 percent down for Tank to be a TRANS ICON and I'm debating on actually for the valorverse LMFAO (I.e flutters thought he was a guy at first but realized she sexed him wrong, but Tank doesn't respond to she/her pronouns anyway) WELP I decided since I"m a little bitch and hate negative things that Pippin and Breakneck do eventually reconcile and buddy back up. They still don't end up together but that's okay with them. (at least that's how it is right now my polyshipping ass just might make it an Ot3 cuz I think they're cute together ajklds;ajf;kslajf;as) ITs so weird though BK's like a huge Tsundere and if I actually wrote about him more often he wouldn't come off that way lol and I can see BK and Pippin probably unironically calling each other "Bro" but there's also sexual and romantic tension between them and ajfekla;jfk Characters involved: https://www.deviantart.com/musical-medic/art/Valorverse-Pippin-Lil-Mac-787115604 https://www.deviantart.com/musical-medic/art/Valorverse-Breakneck-Blaze-Reupload-804551186 I hope you enjoy! (I've been in the process of Updating my plug at the end of my posts, it's really REALLY long and I'm gonna shorten it up a bit. So that's why they haven't been in lately)

Posted using PostyBirb

#MLP #My Little Pony #MLP FIM #Nextgen #MLP Nextgen #Next Generation #Rainbow Dash #Lightning Dust #Applejack #Coloratura

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Sarazanmai 3 - 6 | Fruits Basket 2 - 7 | OPM 2 2 - 7 | BSD 3 3 - 6 | Demon Slayer 4 - 7 | Shield Hero 17 - 20

I’ll be rolling out the tags around about the time of this post.

Sarazanmai 3

Kisu = kissu (kiss). Update: Or kisu (on the right side of my equation). You do you, subbers.

Goma-ae.

Gomennassara! (Oh, I get it…!)

It never occurred to me that a “micanga” was a bead or small pierced round object of some sort. I thought it was a race track sort of thing, but for soccer. Update: It’s a bracelet/anklet thing.

Wait, so what brought on this change of heart from Kazuki??? Is it like the 1st episode, where it was a daydream that was cleverly presented as real? Update: Yep.

Oh…have you noticed all the victims of Reo and Mabu’s scheme are men of the NEET/freeter age, or approaching that?

Notably, the signature pose of the Sarazanmai seems to be similar to the one Kazuki and Enta did in the soccer team.

I find it interesting that Enta is now the initiator of the Sarazanmai and thus the one to steal the shirikodama. I mean, he used to be the one with the least stakes in the Dish of Hope scenario…and now look at him!

Ooh, Toi is sharpening his ruler! (Or whatever you do in Touken Ranbu with that lil’ beater of his.)

Oh wait, I forgot Ikuhara always has a last-minute twist! Go back, go back!

It seems like Haruka has some kind of illness…hmm. Update: Oh, it’s not an illness per se…spoke too soon.

Haruka’s talking about the Little Prince…hmm. Last time I really bothered to engage with that story in any form was Star Driver.

Fruits Basket 2

I don’t think I ever really chose a side on the Kyo vs Yuki debate, but I guess I always subtly sided with Yuki (even though the end pairing is Tohru and *bleep*). <- sorry, had to censor myself

“It’s important for me to get to school every day!”

Kabedon! Eeeeee! (LOL, I really am a squealy person at heart, aren’t I?)

The writing says “she misheard [what Yuki said] as ‘being sick’”, so it was quite lucky that the word “sickened” worked in context.

Yuki has some mad ninja skills…LOL.

Shigure in a suit looks goooooooooood, man (<- gender neutral use of “man”).

“…the days ahead will be fun.” – Oh, Tohru, you don’t know how wrong you are…(says someone who completed the manga)

Fruits Basket 3

I’m hearing the OP for the first time…and it sounds like an ED. (Probably because I read some impressions that said the same thing earlier today.)

“…included in the zodiac?”

Ooh! Momiji! Wait, er…I didn’t expect him to be so high-pitched…

Lookit the tiny cat icon on the side! It’s cute!!!

*yells* It’s Kagura!!!!!!!! She ain’t my favourite, but man, is it great to see another familiar face!

I’ve been wondering what the title meant when it said “what year is she?” It means “year of the zodiac”.

Fruits Basket 4

“Shii-chan”…?

Kyo-kun ran away before Kagura even started making dinner…

Was Kyo’s katsudon a joke…? (Cats-udon, geddit?...No?)

“…marriage is a girl’s greatest dream.” – That used to be so, Tohru…nowadays, it ain’t.

Lookit how Kyo’s eyes lit up when he talks about his teacher!

OPM 2 2

That title’s…even more counterintuitive than “OPM 2 1”…hmm.

It’s…kind of dark right now.

I think there was bourbon on the counter. Someone likes to drink around here…

I guess with the mass animation exodus, OPM seems kinda…monologue-y. And cheap…

…nope, I take back my words. They were merely saving up for this action scene.

BSD 28 (S3 Ep 3)

Seriously, what are those metal things Dazai was wearing? Anyways, I like how it’s absolutely the norm that Chuuya swears now and I was part of forming that. Because I don’t swear a lot, I think Chuuya makes a nice outlet for my own frustrations...that’s what could be said, anyway.

D’aww. Someone acknowledges Chuuya’s identity. Ain’t that grand? (Now you see why I like Chuuya more than Dazai these days, huh?)

Come to think of it…a person hasn’t died in this show for a while, have they? It just goes to show you that despite one of its major stars being a guy obsessed with shinjuu (double suicide), the creators seem to be emphasising the sanctity of life itself.

Oh, I never thought they had an explanation for Dazai’s coat…

What is the age difference between Chuuya and Dazai anyway??? They’re both 15 during the LN that’s called that, but the exact difference…what is it? Update: Dazai’s birthday is June 19th and Chuuya’s is April 29th, so the difference is 1 month and 21 days (using the idea that 7 days = a week and May is 30 days, that’s 51 days in all).

Ooh, we’re getting Fyodor, Ace and the unnamed kid soon, aren’t we? That also means we’re in unknown territory for myself, too…hmm.  

OPM 2 3

When did Saitama last meet Charanko anyway? Charanko is voiced by Toshiki Masuda, so I would’ve kept an eye out for him, but the art shift and the years between seasons mean I don’t remember anymore.

Oof, “justice crashed Mumen Rider’s head” is more like it.

CGI banana…Just saying “CGI banana” is funny.

Kimetsu no Yaiba 4

Headpats, headpats all around!

Hooo…boy. I already knew Sabito and Makomo were dead because Crow and Irina’s collab post was called “The Names of Dead Children”, but how it was delivered…was such a powerful move.

I saw the blonde boy who’s in the OP…hmm. Update: His name is Zenitsu, according to the next-ep preview.

OPM 2 4

When comparing this dissection of monsters against Mob Psycho…the biggest monster Mob has is himself…hmm.

I didn’t expect Saitama to actually enter under Charanko’s name with that wig he got…

“…name as a martial artist.”

Mojo for the dojo, it seems this man wants.

I think the centipede senpai is CGI. Hmm…

It’s been years…I’ve forgotten what Ponytail Head’s name is! (And I call OPM one of my favourite series in anime…!)

Sarazanmai 4

“Writers exist between life and death.” – …is Ikuhara expressing his own thoughts on how anime writers are treated…?

I anticipate a soba pun (soba = noodles and soba = beside [someone]).

“…gives a s***…” – Says you, Toi, with the “Golden Poop” in the background. Then again, that’s just an English pun. Don’t mind me.

Comic Sans…you can’t escape it, even in this day and age…

Yude = to boil, soba…is the noodles. (The “o” on the end of the Monster of the Week’s first name means “man”.) Ikuhara uses Monster of the Week names in service of symbolism, while Takamatsu uses inconsistency for the sake of humour.

Intetestingly, there’s a spiralling blue thing in the background of the dance number and it says “soba” (katakana) and “desire” (yokubou, in kanji).

The headline translates to “Tragedy! It was next to me, but then…” (Kigeki! Sakki made soba ni ita noni…) The subbers had to accommodate the soba pun though, so they went with “so bar away”.

Hmm…now Toi takes centre stage…

2007, huh? How old are Kazuki and co. again?

This is probably the least surprising secret of all, y’know. Also, I think Keppi and Kazuki have cucumbers in their mouths.

They have subs for Stand By Me now!!! Oh mai globbb!

W-Wuh?! I can see why he’d hate Haruka (feelings of “why don’t my parents look at me the way they look at him anymore?”), but…this really turns this entire story on its head!

Kimetsu no Yaiba 5

Interestingly, the “My” in the episode title is Onore (an “I” indicating professionalism).Come to think of it…what is Tanjiro’s pronoun of choice?

Aww…the fact Tanjiro kinda looks like the demon’s (previous body’s…?) bro made the scene kinda cute. Possibly, it could be even enough to drive someone to tears…not that I was driven to tears, of course.

Well, here’s Zenitsu.

This angry kid reminds me of Mike Teevee (from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory). He seems like a rival, but he’ll disappear soon enough. Also, LOL, a sparrow instead of a crow.

“…my whole body hurts.” – Welp, that’s what happens when you lose sleep fighting demons for 7 days straight…

Why the obvious names? (re: Haganezuka – that is, hagane means “steel”…also, Nichirin contains the character for “sun” (at least, I think so…?) and Yoko can be understood to be/homophonous to the word for “sunlight”)

Tanjiro, son of Tanjuro…LOL. That was probably deliberate – it means the first son follows in the father’s footsteps.

For some reason, I wanted Haganezuka to pop out of the comic for the next-ep preview…aww.

Shield Hero 17

How many times did Fitoria say “I’m going to kill the heroes” and Naofumi say variants of “no”? Because of that, I had half a mind to jump ship and head to RobiHachi instead…but keep going.

That cowlick stuff was probably the most fun I’ve had with this show in a while…heh.

Oh great…Naofumi expanded his pseudo-harem to two bird waifus…then again, I had a stupid grin on my face seeing Fitoria’s old master, so maybe it’s not all bad, y’know?

Post-credits scene…keep watching!

Wah-wait…what the heck was that explosion???!!!

BSD 29 (S3 Ep 4)

That’s…Topaz (unofficial name)…ohhhhhhhh dear…

Oooh, Katai! Katai! Yay!!! (As you can tell, I had a very small thing for Katai. He reminds me of En-chan, y’see.)

The CGI in this OP…you can tell there’s quite a bit of it, huh?

It’s Deadmau5 (as the fandom used to joke)!

Fyodor’s eyes of disgust as Topaz dries his hair…hmm.

Older Topaz looks surprisingly like Oda…I don’t remember that exact shot, but it might’ve been in the manga. His background also reminds me of Chuuya’s.

OPM 2 Ep 4 (OPM 18)

“Irksome insect”…says the giant insect.

I think I saw a 7-11 pastiche in the background.

Why does the bird have a human hand in his belly? What??? (LOL)

This tournament arc don’t feel so hype, now that MHA’s is over…

Someone likes Donkey Kong… (referring to Marshal Gorilla and the other Kong guy (Heavy Kong))

Sarazanmai 5

…oh wow. Y’mean Kazuki is adopted???

“Why don’t you say anything, even though you know about me now?” (from Toi) – Probably because Kazuki is as f***ed up as you are, if not worse.

What are those sparkles coming off Sara’s face…? Not sure if they’re a shoujo thing or just…gratuitous sparkles.

LOL, Nioino Fukuro. Basically “pouch of scent” when you insert a space between the second I and the second N and change the first name kanji, plus change the “no” to hiragana.

I know the title of the song is Kawausoiya (translates to “awful otters” or something like that), but “soiya” doesn’t make much sense on its lonesome.

Wait…does that mean Sara is the creature? Or there are two Saras that can look the same, but one looks like the human and one is more kappa-like???

For some reason, I’m getting changeling vibes here…that Kazuki wants to look different to the rest of his family because he knows he’s different.

Hey…there’s this thing called the tourist gaze. It argues that because people create notions of reality differently, people have different ideas of what makes a trip “good” and “authentic”. In the same sense, Haruka’s “false” connection with Kazuki!Sara has become his reality, so it’s not wrong to say this Sara is real for him.

Oh…I just realised some kanji that appar early in the OP are the kanji for “extraction”.

So, uh…in a sense…can I interpret Kazuki’s love for his real mother a Fruedian thing? It seems all men’s love can be interpreted to be Freudian in some way or another…also, Sara kind of looks like his mother in a very “surface” kind of way. That is, they have a very passing resemblance to each other. Update: I’ve been reading some Stephen King lately and if I took anything away from that experience, it would be that everything is Freudian when it comes to men’s experiences. That’s why I say that.

Kimetsu no Yaiba 6

…*remembers something from the collab that was along the lines of “Astral doesn’t like Tanjiro’s green jacket”* Astral’s not gonna like this, then. (For those who don’t know the context, “Astral” is AstralGemini of the Zodiac Room.)

*Tanjiro is told he might not go very far with his demon slaying* *Tanjiro reacts with happiness that he’s on his way to get Nezuko human again* - Uh…I know I’ve watched my share of shonen, but I kind of didn’t expect that and yet also did.

Ugh…it’s the return of CGI Tanjiro…the vegie patch looks good in CGI though, for some reason.

Lemme guess…with a title like that (Swordsman Accompanying a Demon), could it be that Kazumi is a demon???

“I don’t get it at all.” – LOL…that was unintentionally funny (for the second time in this show, the first being Hand Demon).

BSD 30 (S3 Ep 5)

Moby Dick crashing into Yokohama? It was literally years ago for us!

I’m pretty sure these Park guys didn’t exist in the manga. Update: Nope, they did. I’ve read the corresponding chapter, it’s just that that was also 2 years ago…just like the last we saw of the anime.

I love how the “gyaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” ended in blood splatter, literally.

The Park guys apparently come from ch. 44 but Katai comes from ch. forty…what? One? Two? It’s not 40 (Hitori Ayumu), that’s all I know.

Katai is a good boy. You’ll see why in…oh, a few seconds.

Oh, I love the ending of this story. I already know the ending, but seeing it again will be a whole new bag of laughs!

Uh…I forgot how much of an interruption the anime’s humour is. My dream of a “whole new bag of laughs” is at least half dashed…*shoulders slump*

Apparently Atsushi cut his hair himself…not sure if that’ll be a spoiler for later, but it’s still something cool to know.

“So it’s your letter?”

Katai is basically me when it comes to my husbandos. See why I love him???

Come to think of it…I haven’t properly listened to the ED yet! Better do that while I still have the chance.

Fruits Basket 5

Shigure is such a troll…just like I remember him.

Fruits Basket 6

Hatori! Ooh! He’s hottttttt! Sizzling!...Okay, I think you get my point already…

I think someone else (Amelia from A Girl and Her Anime…?) pointed this out…but I don’t understand a speck of German outside 1 – 10 (I remembered the German word for “six” way too well when I was younger). So it would help if they bothered to make the German English as well.

For some reason, the stick figure was both obviously a cost-cutting measure and also elevated the hilarity of that scene…!

I don’t quite know what the Japanese equivalent of the “macaroni and cheese” thing was, but it conveys the same idea in the two languages and makes people laugh along the way, so…*shrugs shoulders* Makes sense, I guess.

Tohru is kandou about meeting an author. Kandou means to be deeply moved (noun form).

LOL, Hanajima reading the book.

��Oh my goodness. I just realised Fruits Basket has a lot of characters with fringes. 90s fringes for everyone!

“…a cartoon about a cat and a rat that are always fighting…” - Come to think of it, Tom and Jerry is popular in Japan.

Shield Hero 18

I think this episode title ends in inbou, which means “intrigue”.

This show is clearly trying to play the same cards over and over again…

Shield Hero 19

Hypocrites! Hypocrites everywhere! *does Buzz Lightyear hand gesture from the meme*

OPM 19 (S2 Ep 6)

The reason the fat guy is called Dave is not just because of B/V confusion, but because debu (without the line in the middle) is a slang word for…wait for it…”fatty”.

Interestingly, Murata previously worked on a oneshot called Gokiburi Buster. I wonder if this Cockroach Boi is from there…?

Did you notice the guys behind the umpire, who had a stretcher at the ready…?

“Mr Saynuthin” seems to be “Nanmoien-san” in Japanese.

“Waganma” seems to be a play on wagamama, or selfish. However, I can’t pin down the pun in the father’s name...

Well, well, well…at least someone acknowledges Speed of Sound Sanic (the ninja, not the CGI abomination or the monkey) is hecka-speedy.

Charanko (the real one)…he has ashi no ura (the back of the foot) written on his bandages…LOL.

Sarazanmai 6

Apparently Kazuki’s (foster) family all wear the same kind of stripes…which is what Kazuki means when he doesn’t want to wear the same kind of clothes as his family.

Okay…so the first set of kanji that appear in the OP are the one for “desire” and the ones after that are “extraction”…geddit? (LOL)

Oh my glob…how in the name of Iyami does Osomatsu-san get so popular that after I watched the first season of that show, it starts appearing in other places as well????

I saw a translation of the Reo and Mabu tweets and apparently at least one of them can make ningyoyaki (a type of cake you can make in all sorts of shapes – scroll down a bit on that page and you’ll find the description of ningyoyaki there).

Uhh…ghh…Keppi pole dancing was disturbing…*soul floats out of body temporarily*

Reo (I think that’s Reo, at least) has ningyoyaki…Update: Yup, that’s Reo.

“Headdress”, huh?

Why does this episode 6 feel like ending material…?

Wait…you’re saying Reo and Mabu are princes of the otter kingdom??? Wuh???

BSD 31 (S3 Ep 6)

(Lucy blushes) Wow…now there’s an option for a het ship right there…not that anyone will take it.

I saw a GIF of Atsushi floating naked and face down in the water (because Irina), but…I forgot exactly how the scenario before it went, so I LOLled.

Oh yeah…this chapter had a tie-in with Mizuki Tsujimura, because Mizuki knew Kyoka’s mother. Also, it shows you can inherit Abilities…

It’s Truck-kun and the curse of the isekai!...Okay, I’m kidding.

Oh yeah…this is the chapter about the Headmaster…

I haven’t been in a good place mentally for the past few years or so, due to my world basically fragmenting around me, so the words “don’t hate yourself” are strong ones coming from a place both nostalgic and new.

Dazai inherits a particularly interesting space in Atsushi’s life. He’s like a brother and father wrapped up into one (Kunikida is the nagging mother in that analogy, LOL), but also obsessed with suicide to the point he can also be a liability.

“…didn’t tell anyone…”

It’s also interesting to compare Tohru (of Fruits Basket) and Atsushi. They’re both selfless, but Tohru’s selflessness is shown to be a double-edged sword while Atsushi’s gives him a lot of resentment but is overall a positive thing.

Aww…seeing Atsushi slowly tear up almost made me tear up too…

Fitzgerald Rising…that’s the name of the chapter where…oh, sorry. It’s been years, so I’ll let it all play out for you and me again without mentioning any spoilers until they happen in (close to) real time in the show, okay?

Fruits Basket 7

This is the first time there’s been English lyrics on the OP for this show…I think.

Who’s this “he” Tohru’s referring to when examining the woman’s picture? Akito, probably, but I’m not 100% sure…Update: It was Hatori, actually.

“Shii-san”, “Haa-san” etc. is…cute. *cue “O kawaii koto…” from Kaguya-sama*

I get the feeling that Shigure is almost like a prototype Dazai (Bungou Stray Dogs). Or they just have a lot in common.

“Are these my just desserts?”

Demon Slayer 7

Nezuko’s playing whack a mol-er, demon, isn’t she??? (LOL)

Whoa…it must be mighty freaky to be floating in a swamp of dead people’s possessions…

Welp, Tanjiro…that’s one way to say “hands off my sister”. *nods* By cutting the demon’s hands off…

I like the contrast between Tanjiro’s callused hands and Kazumi’s smooth ones.

Hey…why does food always get wasted in movies and other media…? I know I’m applying real-life consumption habits to media, but it always looks quite wasteful, y’know…?

OPM 20 (S2 Ep 7)

I never noticed that shot of Watchdog Man in the OP before…huh.

Pig God’s shirt says DEV. It’s a pun on debu (fatty)…again.

Ooh! I saw him in the OP! Flashy Flash! I’ve never seen him in action outside the OP before, but I know his name and appearance from reading around.

“You all are the strongest swordsmen we have.”

Seriously, Saitama, just get something to stick the wig on and you wouldn’t have gotten into this mess. Maybe superglue…(okay, I’m kidding about the superglue).

OPM got really childish this time… 

#simulcast commentary #one punch man #Fruits Basket #The Rising of the Shield Hero #Kimetsu no Yaiba #Demon Slayer #Sarazanmai #Bungou Stray Dogs #chesarka watches bsd #Chesarka watches Tate no Yuusha no Nariagari #Tate no Yuusha no Nariagari #Chesarka watches OPM #Chesarka watches Sarazanmai #Chesarka watches KnY #Chesarka watches Furuba

[a-waki-blog]

01

10.28.2018 - 11:51 P.M

Maybe Tumblr isn’t the right place to start writing (typing) my life. Maybe I should go out and buy a diary/journal from Barnes n Nobles or a Walmart and actually write in it with a pen like the old times back in elementary/middle school when my mom would force me to always write a diary entry before bed. But it’s 2018 and technology is probably the answer to everything (lol money is, who am i kidding) and plus I don’t have the funds to go out and buy a diary at the moment. So here am I, in front of my 4-5 year old laptop. That’s besides the point. Let’s get straight into it.

I’m currently 21 years old. Young, at the age where potential is at its fullest. But why does it feel like the end of the world for me? I won’t make this blog too personal, as I don’t know who’s reading this. Probably my 30 year old self laughing at this stupid first post lol (if I’m even alive at 30). Anyways, this is like my ranting place (?) I guess. I don’t have so many friends where I can start ranting to them, although I guess I’ve partially done it in some way through text/facetime.

I have a full time job that irritates the crap out of me, all I do is sit there on the computer in a small office staff of 4, and the traffic fucking sucks both ways. I always thought this was the answer - to have a decent paying full time job. But no...it’s not. Life fucking happens and you get thrown in a full fucking tornado of debt. And it’s not like you can depend on your single mother... cause she’s technically not even...legal. Props to her for always giving me something to fucking eat the past 21 years, poor or not. 

But anyways. I have dreams, I do. But I know I’m not passionate enough for those dreams to come true. I want to be a professional gamer, but I’m not good enough. I know it. So why can’t I do it? I don’t even have the proper equipment aka the game consoles I like to play games on (I only play them when I go to my boyfriend’s house and then we watch professional players on youtube and i tell myself i want to be as good as them) I want to be a professional photographer and take beautiful photos around the world. I’ve won first place at my high school art show, so why can’t I do it? Oh, the cost of the cameras, the cost of developing film, the cost of editing software, the cost of going out to different locations, the cost of time....the list goes on. I want to be a business woman and run my own shit. So why can’t I do it? I don’t have the college education to go get a degree yet cause I don’t have the funds for it. Why cant I get financial aid? Oh because of my mom’s situation. I don’t have the funds to start my own business anyways. I want to make a name for myself one day. So why can’t I do it? I don’t know. I don’t know where to start, how to start. So i’m just going the safe route and going to work everyday and looking for a second job that will hire me only on the weekends. But when you have all these financial struggles at the age of mother fucking 21......lol i told myself i’m not gonna be so personal on this blog. It’s just ranting i guess. Imagine writing all this on an actual journal on paper. But yeah. I’ve opened 4 credit cards to get me through. I felt pathetic this past week because I couldn’t even afford a fucking McDonalds meal. We haven’t paid the rent at all last month and I told my landlord I’d give her October’s rent and November’s rent all at once on November 1st. Welp, I don’t have it. I won’t have it. I don’t know.

I don’t even know if this is going anywhere/ I’m literally just ranting out my frustrations and how shitty this whole thing is.. Don’t get me wrong, there’s people out there who have it way worse than I do. There’s people who have it 10x better than me and living their best damn life. And I can too. One day.

I guess I actually will get more personal in future entries. I guess this is just a backstory of my life? lol yeah let’s go with that.

Today I got the final hospital bill for my emergency visit last month...which wasn’t even an emergency....And the asshole physician billed me for a level 5 emergency visit. I burst out laughing actually because it was actually a level fucking zero in my eyes. Shit people will do to get more money. But anyways, everything just sucks. 

Crying doesn’t solve shit!!!!

It’s 12:10 A.M and I have to wake up in less than 7 hours for work. So. This is just the beginning of my diary entries so I’m not too worried about anything. Nobody is reading this anyway. Only me. And I guess the FBI/hackers if they actually do just go through people’s computers to see what they post.

Hope tomorrow is a better day mentally. It’ll be the same routine wise haha. But mentally. Hope I get distracted by something so I won’t feel like absolute shit all the time tomorrow.

By the way. My URL is awaki as in “awaki?” It’s a term my friends and I use to ask if they’re still up at night.

12:13 A.M

[darkangelanddemonempress-blog]

My SLS is getting wilder

Alright, I’m back to rant once more. LOL.

For you guys who don’t know what SLS is, it means ‘Second Lead Syndrome’

(Apparently, that’s me. I apologize for such a horrible art)

Anyways, I don’t know if you notice it (I think you already do) or maybe this is just me imagining things because yeah, my mind is kind of mess up sometimes...no every single time. Well, this is connected to my previous post about other Ikemen baes being the ‘Second Lead’ in some main stories.

So this is what I want to talk about. If I’m wrong about some info, feel free to correct me ^__^, it will be very much appreciated.

Here it goes.

(Yes, if only >.<)

When I’m in Nobucchi’s route, Hideyoshi fell in love with me/you/us, right? He even confessed yet our heart already belongs to Nobunaga. Not straight on confess like ‘I love you’, but in a roundabout way like complimenting you, something like that. And like in his own route, he treats us like a younger sister. But in Nobucchi’s story, he didn’t even bat an eyelash and said that we’re the only one he compliments like that.

(Thank you...huhu)

It was seriously heartbreaking! TuT

While in his own story, we’re in freaking ‘sister zone’ for almost throughout the whole chapters. I’m exaggerating again, my bad. Although it really feels like I’m in that zone for a decade haha.

That’s why in all honesty, I love him in Nobunaga’s route while in his own route, I’m ready to commit adultery with Mitsuhide. XD

And speaking of the slithery snake! Such a bias wrecker!

(Mitsuhide why?! I suit you as well >....<)

(Well, I’m the one who’s suffering, you sly man! Do something about this! TuT)

He’s the one who straight up told Masamune that he loves us! I cried at that part, now I’m begging for his route release too. TuT

(I am smiling, but your heart isn’t. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you someday, I promise. I’m going to wait for you huhu)

Then there’s Kenshin, I’ll be brutally honest that I’m a hardcore bias of this man.

Seriously.

In every route, whenever he showed up, I was like...’Go to him!’, ‘Hug him’, ‘Give him love’, ‘Say you love him!’ and ‘Jump on him!’ ‘Kiss him’

Strangled him, pinned him, heard his growl and so on and so forth. Alright...shoo, go away dark thoughts. You’re not needed in here >.<, not now!

If I already love him before the game is released, then I start loving him even more, when you become a prisoner in the jail when I’m in Ieyasu’s route. I was totally loving it and doesn’t want to leave him. I was having the time of my life while waiting if there’s a response that says ‘No, it’s fine Ieyasu, you can leave me here.’

...see? I told you, I’m pretty messed up inside the head. Now I’m waiting in pure agony patiently for his route like a rabbit.

I’m currently on Masamune’s route and he was there! My boy >.< My poor kokoro is crying again. Ugh. I can’t bear seeing him on every route because my heart is aching for him. Help me >.<

NEXT! Let’s talk about Shingen’s upcoming route. It feels like it’s going to be the same as Okita Souji from Destined to Love. It will be full of angst as well because from what I know, Shingen is ill or sick, am I right? Huhu.

Actually, that’s all I want to say about him, (I’m sorry Shingen-sama! But fear not, I’m going to play your route once they released it. I’m ready for your pick up lines.) Because of Kenshin, once again! 

(SEE?! Don’t do this to me, onegai shimasu!)

Then Nobunaga as well, oh my gosh, seriously, I need help XD 

(Nurse? Doctor? Help me, my heart...my fragile kokoro is about to burst)

Anyone? Care to make me normal once again? Dang. And it’s only because of this game, well this game is my life so welp~

I hate it, but I love it. *ruffles hair in frustration*

- Umarumiko

--------------------------------

I want to rant all about the Second lead, but I ended up ranting more about Kenshin.

Damn that guy, eating all my thoughts away TuT

Love him. >///<

- Sorry for my bad grammar, English wasn’t my first language so...

#otomegame #otome game #otome #ikemensengoku #ikemen sengoku #cybird #dating game #datinggame #nobunaga oda #masamune date #mitsuhide akechi #hideyoshi toyotomi #ieyasu tokugawa #yukimura sanada #kennyo #sasuke sarutobi #shingen takeda #mitsunari ishida #kenshin uesugi

[progmanx]

So? Part 2?

Well, now that it’s been released digitally, I can actually answer this question. Thank you for your patience. So, uh, spoilers, if you haven’t read Turf Wars Part 2 yet. I guess.

Short version: It’s just as bad as Part 1 (if not worse), but for slightly different reasons. For mine and @lokgifsandmusings‘s thoughts on Part 1, you can read our several articles about the first installment, as well as our good friend Bo’s take on Part 2 who makes some excellent points on why nothing works. I’m going to do my best not to reiterate the things he’s discussed, as I think his work does a better job of laying out that argument than I could. So go read that first, if you want.

Slightly Longer Version (That’s Shorter Than The Short Version?): Mike (there’s no way Bryan is actually consulting on anything aside from the art; Asami is his baby) clearly neglected to rewatch his own series/re-read his own series bible, and the scope of this negligence goes so far beyond nitpicking it’s baffling. The narrative threads and characterization of our two heroes are jumbled and essentially nonsensical.

Extremely Long Version: Sigh. I would like to preface this by asserting that my opinion of Turf Wars is in no way related to the work I did with RRaU, or Spin the Rails as a whole. Sure, I thought a lot about the world and this relationship, but frankly no conclusion I came to couldn’t also be reached by anyone else who puts in the time. Just because Mike continued the narrative differently doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like it automatically. The fact of the matter is, I really wanted to like this. It just so happens that the method Mike chose is…like, kind of the worst possible amalgamation of bad narrative decisions he could make short of turning full edgelord.

This got extremely long, hence the moniker, so it’s under the cut.

Anyway, my problems and critiques of Turf Wars are that of the product itself, how it chooses to continue the story of the animated series proper.

Now that that’s out of the way: I kind of hate almost everything about it. Yeah, I’m probably gonna lose followers for that. I want queer rep, and I want it badly, but if we can’t even criticize what we get without getting thrown out onto the street, how will it get any better? It’s not all or nothing.

Not even Turf Wars is all or nothing. I still stand by what @lokgifsandmusings and I said in our pieces regarding Part 1: It’s an overall good thing that it exists, and it’s not hurting anyone. However, that does not mean I think it itself is actually anything close to good, narratively speaking.

If I really had to boil down all of my problems with this…since Bo’s argument regarding how these books are overly stuffed with narratives that have no connection to one another aside from the fact that Asami gets kidnapped (we’re gonna dissect that one) and that none of it actually serves any purpose other than treading water for…something is so comprehensive and great. Seriously, read it!

Fact of the matter is, there’s no reason for any of these narratives to exist. It doesn’t push anyone’s character forward, with the exception of Zhu Li, Toguka (who even cares?), possibly Keum, and I guess by default Raiko by making him more of a jerk. None of those characters are the principal cast, meaning that this whole damn thing is, as far as I can see, really weird, overwritten filler.

Filler for what? I have no earthly idea, but if the only thing that changes out of this graphic novel series is that Zhu Li becomes President, then…you could have done that off-screen. Like how Raiko won. Neither Bryan nor Mike know how to write politics (or business, but that’s another conversation) so why not? Saves a lot of time.

Okay, so, there’s one other change that could happen in this “filler arc”. And it’s something that everything so far seems to be pointing to as a resolution. For anything to make sense, Asami has to basically say to Korra, “I’m a liability and will only keep getting in the way, so we either have to keep our relationship a secret or break up.” Probably to get rejected by Korra, or the world, or something. Which is just…terrible and ridiculous, as I’ll outline more in this post/rant/essay/dissertation. It has nothing to do with them being a same-sex couple, which is somehow both not as bad (because that shouldn’t matter) and worse (because of Kya’s infodump in Part 1).

Anyway, on to the biggest issues above all: our two “protagonists”. Well, more like the title character and also that lady she’s banging. Because it’s really hard to see how Korra and Asami are actually relevant to any of the narrative threads in this story aside from the ones they are forcibly pulled into so they can react to things. And this isn’t even accounting for how Mike is somehow able to write literally everyone else just fine except for Korra and Asami! It’s so freaking weird!

Korra, even more than she was in Part 1, has been almost comically back dialed to her Book 1 characterization. At best, it’s Book 2, but that is a stretch. Everything she does it to try and bust some heads, and even goes out of her way to physically assault Raiko’s campaign advisor. This isn’t even accounting the flagrant abuse of the Avatar State in Part 1, or the many other microaggressions that keep popping up.

Book 4 Korra would not do this. That was like—it’s her whole fucking series arc. She doesn’t look for fights! She tries to resolve them before they get bad, and especially with Asami she backs down and tries to diffuse and explain the situation. Like, you know, that time when Asami snapped at her in 4x07 in contrast to how Mako snapped at her also in 4x07?

But it goes deeper than tossing out years of character growth because “lol conflict”. I felt that the interactions between Korra and Asami here read embarrassingly straight. What I mean by that is, it’s how I imagine a straight dude would believe “special” relationships (ie queer, who aren’t) should be written. It’s something that a lot of non-queer writers struggle with, since there’s this false belief that treating those “different” from you as unique or better props them up, when in reality it artificially props them up in a way that is inherently insincere. Mike wants to show us he understands how important this relationship is, and how it’s important to him, but the words he’s choosing have the opposite effect.

It reminds me of the “Magical Negro” trope that originated in Hollywood as an absurd, and then eventually harmful, overcompensation for making sure people knew that they weren’t racist by making every minority character in a given film the perfect wisdom to set the hero on their journey. It’s same basic principle, as Mike is trying to make sure as loudly as possible that we know he’s super supportive of all of this…but the outcome is just plain weird and dangerous, even though his intentions are absolutely good.

Remember that bit in Part 1 where Asami says that the Spirit World is special and unique, like their relationship? Welp. It’s not. It was exceptionally well-written and true-to-life in its queerness but I guess not anymore, huh?

They’re more caricatures of their former selves than they are actual characters in these moments. The purest irony here is that these scenes, the “relationship scenes”, are actually pandering. Like, while the show wasn’t and yet anti-korrasami people kept yelling that it was (it wasn’t; that’s not how animation production works) boom, here we go. Actual pandering. (And yes, this is an entirely subjective opinion, but isn’t that kinda what this ask was for?)

Thirsty Asami, Overprotective Korra; these characterizations not only don’t make sense, but they’re exactly what the fandom has been asking for despite neither of them really fitting at all with previous characterizations. These things are supposed to build off one another, and yet they just go in random directions. Okay, fine, in fairness, Thirsty Asami only doesn’t make sense in the context we see it here, rather than a general sense. She can be horny, but that was the weirdest segue to that sort of tone, and it felt shoehorned in as fanservice. Need proof? Look no further:

I mean, seriously? The final lines of the TV show? That’s…every single fanfic writer has at least considered doing that because of the free sentimentality points due to the emotions attached to that final scene, but good lord that is some blatant not-helpful fanservice that, to me, feels automatically pandering right there.

Because that’s what their relationship reads as in these comics. Fanservice. It’s meaningless fluff that seems as though it’s actively refusing to progress either character in personal and communal growth. It serves no other purpose than to reinforce the idea that Asami is a liability (and that Korra’s feelings are the so super strong for her you guys that she’s overprotective lmao). Which is so beyond absurd a notion to have, according to the show itself, because Korra has been present for almost every doofus Asami has decked:

This is also depicted in the end of Part 1, where Korra chooses to save Asami (who is either drunk or high as balls considering her hilariously inept and counter-canon combat performance) from a rock instead of Tokuga. Which just ties into what happens to Asami at the end of Part 2. Yes, the kidnapping. I already talked about the kidnapping, and lo and behold, I was right. Tokuga kidnaps Asami to get to Korra (how original!), and is weirdly okay with them being in a relationship. Remember that homophobia in this universe that may still exist in the Fire Nation because nobody bothered to clarify that? Welp, apparently it didn’t mean squat because Korra just flat out tells a security guard that she’s dating Asami when they were all like “hey let’s keep this to ourselves for the time being”. Even the supervillains don’t care that queer people exist, I guess?

Which of course leads to this scene:

Okay, no. No, there are…so, so many ways to get out of this scenario. First, that’s not a real knife. It’s a fire made in the shape of a blade. It does have mass, but whatever level of “sharpness” it has can’t really retain shape because it’s FIRE. It’s not ice. Asami could presumably just run through it, suffering some nasty burns, and jump to safety because there are plenty of people there who could catch her. Second, that dude is an old man. Asami has taken down multiple terrorists simultaneously. She could just kick him in the balls with her heel. It’s super easy. Third, Asami has been trained in “self-defense” since her mother was murdered (we’ll circle back to this) by firebenders, the implication being that it was the Agni Kai Triad.

So, Hiroshi, being a hardcore genocidal anti-bender crazy person with a daughter insists that she start learning to defend herself at the age of like 5…what do you think those lessons are? I’ve covered this in my Jings and Other Things post, but frankly it doesn’t take a whole lot of thought to realize that “oh he’d make sure she was trained to fight against benders.” That actually circles back to point two, since hey, remember how firebending works?

Remember when Uncle Iroh was all “firebending comes from the breath, not the muscles”? Which lead to Zhao getting his butt kicked by Zuko? All Asami has to do is knock the wind out of this old geezer and jump. Or break his concentration, because, again, not a real knife. This is something she would absolutely know.

Elbow his stomach, kick him in the balls, bite his knuckles, break his nose with the back of her head, kick out his legs, throw herself backwards—the list goes on. Something so fundamental to the universe, to the point that it was sort of Zuko’s whole thing, rebelling against Sozin’s perverted firebending teachings (DANCING DRAGON FORM) through the previous series, being ignored and seemingly retconned because…Mike forgot? And didn’t do any research on his own work to make sure it remained consistent? Uh, okay.

You don’t need to be an action director to think of any of these, especially if you’ve seen the TV show in question. Also, just as an aside to Korra not being able to locate Asami…she, uh, has spirit GPS? Remember that? Through the vines? Found Wu, and Jinora. Just kind supports my theory that Mike forgot to watch his own show. Since that was like, important to Korra’s healing arc.

Anyway, for Asami’s character as a whole…good lord. I don’t…she’s, again, either drunk or high as balls. I mean how else do you explain her being super chill and okay with working with Zhu Li in the first place? Didn’t her husband steal her company? Something that Zhu Li had to have been complicit in considering she was in prison with him? None of this makes any sense! Asami’s convictions on what is just and what is not are kind of her core (remember the Equalists?), so for them to just be thrown out because plot is a little strange and disconcerting.

I’m not saying she wouldn’t work with Zhu Li for the good of the city; she did the same with Varrick and that rings true to me because it’s not like she spent three years rebuilding the fucking thing. Of course she’d be protective of it! It’s also her home. But all of that pales in comparison to the single most glaring thing that is addressed briefly, in passing, in Part 1, but isn’t even mentioned in Part 2:

I just—Korra got a phenomenal healing arc. Asami is the second half of this couple that they are banking these book sales on, and she’s not given room to grieve? To acknowledge that her father was not only murdered, but sacrificed himself to save her life and how complicated and conflicting those feelings have to be considering he tried to murder her back in Book 1? Yeah, that is a meaty subject matter that can absolutely be tackled by a comic. You just sort of have to actually do it and not sweep it under the rug. But that’s what they do, despite the fact that he’s been dead for, oh, I dunno, like less than a month? Nobody can recover that quickly. No one. Not even the Avatar, and we literally saw that in action.

I get that Kuvira isn’t physically in this, and that the corpse of the massive mecha-giant that could not have possibly been moved via conventional means (it was covered in vines that not even Korra can safely remove, remember?) is randomly missing after Korra and Asami get back from their vacation but I really feel like Raiko’s surrender directly leading to Hiroshi’s death is something that could easily be dug into. Even if it’s not totally rational, because it doesn’t have to be because grief and emotions are not rational.

I mean, I doubt I need to get into the fact that Asami is once again sidelined in a plot that should be about her (the reconstruction effort was literally her thing between Books 3 and 4), since that one is just—it’s there. That’s what it is. Zhu Li gets it because she’s around, I guess? And because Raiko is a terrible President who needed to get ousted anyway (why is he not letting people get their food???), but why wouldn’t whatever theoretical legislature just impeach him while Korra and Asami were on vacation? What purpose does this narrative actually serve since we already don’t like Raiko and would want anyone in that position that isn’t him? Preferably someone who lost in the first round of elections—I’ll stop there. It just unfolds with the slightest tug.

SPEAKING OF DEAD PARENTS (perfect segue) remember when I reminded you that Asami’s mother was murdered by firebenders? After a break-in? When she was five? Wow that must have been pretty traumatizing for her considering it literally radicalized her father into becoming a genocidal maniac. Which, you know, makes it extremely strange that this isn’t brought up or addressed when Jargala and her crew do like, the same thing to Asami.

Wow that’s scary, isn’t it? Possibly PTSD flashback level scary, if Mike had remembered that important aspect of Asami’s history. Yet this is not brought up, and it doesn’t seem to inform Asami’s character at all despite the fact that it should probably be the second thing that comes out of her mouth when she discusses the encounter with Korra.

But wait, it happens again with Tokuga, who just ransacks her place, which just makes it worse. It’d be bad enough not to have Asami explicate this connection the first time around, because she could be bottling her emotions (she does that), and we find out about this later, but to do it twice in the same graphic novel? In quick succession? Yeah, Mike just plum forgot.

I don’t think I need to explain further why being lazy with a canon that you yourself poured your blood, sweat and tears into is not a great look. But that’s what the story Mike wrote is saying.

So, yeah, those are most of my issues with Turf Wars Part 2. Thanks for reading through to the end!

Other random thoughts on how none of this makes sense:

Why does Republic City have Kuvira’s military armaments in a warehouse? Even if the war is somehow over, which it can’t be because that’s not how anything works, it’s still Earth Empire property.

Why do any of those mecha-suits even work after Varrick’s EMP?

Why is Ba Sing Se offering relief efforts when that’s the capital of the country that just invaded the United Republic— seriously they’re still at war you guys you can’t just capture the enemy commander and win

How does Tokuga’s half-spirit form allow him to control spirits? Wouldn’t that make them hate him more?

Why do the triads agree to work under him when all he’s got is a tentacle arm? They could just set him on fire and be done with it

What is the point of Keum, like, at all? Why does he even exist? He got kidnapped at the end of Part 1, but we have no emotional stake in his existence

Why are Mako and Bolin relearning how to value one another’s different skill sets? This is like the fifth time or something

#Anonymous #asks #turf wars spoilers #korrasami #meta #the legend of korra #korra #these are all just my opinions #turf wars

[ghosty-schnibibit]

taz liveblog under the cut! ^u^

fun fact: the rss feeder i downloaded SPECIFICALLY so i know when new eps are posted didn't work at all, i've been home from class waiting for the new ep for 3+ hours when i could have been listening >:T

on the bright side the only taz related post i saw before listening was "taz spoliers with no context" and then a bowl of french onion soup, so that'll be fun

"well and phandalin-ed" pfffff

oh no mama :(

SNOW :D

aww dani ^u^

wait... so does barclay have big feet in human disguise form too?

aw ned my baby 

i only know what a hot toddy is because of UFUT 

"for a reason" i am suspicious

is trav on the website? evidently lol

aubrey my precious baby ilu

bonemulcher sounds hardcore as fuck

DO YOU???

t h e  s l i p  d i p

i can't wait to see the art of that sick flip lol

oh i love this omg

A THUNDERSHIRT

nice shining ref there trav lol

YET. ANOTHER. NICKNAME.

ned you drunk ilu

"big wild dogs" nice doggies 

NED STOP TALKING ABOUT BIGFOOT TO RANDOM STRANGERS, YOU KNOW HIM PERSONALLY!!!

oooh new music :o

... well that was surreal

has duck been there the whole time??? oh evidently not lol

"gone to jesus, braxton did" aw :(

"oh god please take me away" bless you ned

i've never had poutine, i bet it's yummy 

"no they don't" D U C K

that sounds fun 

oh no, that ain't good

awww, dani the concerned potential gf

well this guy's a dick >:T

"rumble!" clint ilu

"gotta defend our boy" bless

well there's where the soup comes in!

can i just say how much i love when justin goes on these little rambling monologues about the people duck knows in town? it just fleshes out the world and duck's character so well and it's so good

amish gruyere sounds tasty as hell

"don't fuck with hubert" god i love this podcast

it what clint??? 

i have never heard the word waft pronounced like that in my entire life

god this is making me want french onion soup so bad, i'm gonna have to go to panera over the weekend and get some now 

ONE XP FROM THE SOUP

"she was slumming it with duck" aww duck baby :(

god damn this is so fucking powerful. leave it to justin mcelroy to turn french onion soup into a metaphor for wanting to keep being alive for fear of missing out. i'm literally crying right now

that said... does this mean ned knows about minerva? 

also, if the first time duck saw minerva he was in his teens and he didn't turn her down until he was 18... did he just go along with the chosen thing? just accepted for years that he was going to have to give up his life to save the world? jesus fuck that is some heavy shit

IS THAT THEIR ACTUAL GRANDMOTHER? THIS IS SO CUTE OMG

same, justin, same

♪♫♬ the hornets are gonna rumble tonight ♪♫♬

holice and jake are ex-boyfriends i'm calling it now

welp, holice is significantly nicer

keith is a dick

OH THIS IS BAD, THIS IS VERY VERY BAD

i don't like griffin's plotting dm voice :(

OH YAY :D

OH NO D:

god that's such a pretty image

jesus they are rolling beans today

well this is extraordinarily suspicious

you can always count on trav for those good good roles

"i had some chili earlier" gross 

WHY WOULD YOU DRINK A SOUP WITH CROUTONS IN IT NED???

oh snap, wtf is up with this

... this is thacker isn't it

BAD IDEA THERE NED

wait... when did clint roll for ned? isn’t that just trav’s roll?

called it lol

oooooh these are the wilds dani mentioned :o

wait so mama's been in sylvain the entire time???

god this is so good

hells yeah, i'm gonna grab mine from barnes and noble

ooooh is that the liveshow with kravitz? yay :D

oh this is cool as hell

fun, aubrey's got her own lil study zone :)

"or to put somebody that you don't want going anywhere for a while" well that sounded... suspicious. i’m calling it now, griffin’s gonna put them in a situation where they’re gonna need to lock up agent stern

awwww duck ilu my baby

"please remember that you have it" that's the sound of a dm tired of his players forgetting about their magic items for 50+ episodes

some very nifty upgrades here :o

oh dang, who's ned's crew gonna be???

A FANCLUB :D

this sounds choice lol

THE INTERNED

final thoughts: this was a fun interlude! i love all the new narrative developments going down, as well as all the good level ups. also, i can’t believe that justin made me cry over french onion soup, holy hell.

#taz #taz spoilers #the adventure zone #taz amnesty #ghosty liveblogs taz

[sanguinesprout]

Therapy/Counselling Diary #7 (plus some small but heartening accomplishments and a few other little frustrations)

Hmm... hmm... it’s hard to say how I’m feeling right now, a strange cocktail of refreshing see sawing determination with a little kick of spicy proudness mingled in with the usual bitterness of overhanging doubt and the chill of all those nerve-wracking fears. Tastes pretty terrible, probably an acquired taste, but unique non the less. I’m no expert at all, but I’ll give it a generous 2.3 stars overall.

Last week was... it was not so bad actually (or maybe that’s just cause I’ve forgotten a lot of it already lol). I pushed myself to try harder to do some of the things my counsellor wanted me to do, what I myself wanted to do and le gasp, it happened..! I guess her hard talk really did stir something good in me after all. To put it real brief right here for now, I went out a lot more than I usually would (just mundane stuff like shopping and supermarkets tho) and I did the phone orders thing!!!1! Not once but multiple times over three days! Yaaay! But this week I need to continue it and even one up it... boooo-- uh, I mean go me!! @w@

There were times I totally copped out though and it feels bad man as usual, but I at least tried and I was able to prove some of my presumptions and preconceived thoughts mostly wrong! It’s something! It’s a big step, an accomplishment for me, don’t downplay it silly me! *pats self on back and proceeds to go in hiding again- no no!* This week is already feeling a little bleak but I just have to toast it up a little, let myself get cosy in this newer environment by just being there and exposing myself to it more. C’mon, I can do it! ^^

Okay onto the actual counselling session, which was yesterday. I literally only just made it on time, phew haha. I was a little anxious going up to the room cause there were some other people around in the corridor but w/e no1currs really and that goes for every other situation everywhere else. When you’re absorbed and focused in what you’re doing like other people are and not constantly looking around and assuming people give a damn (which they don’t) then it’s all good!

Um, anyways she did the typical ‘how are you/have you been’ and I gave her my weekly self scoring sheet but also I told her I forgot to give her that self esteem sheet and presented that too. I told her of my achievements last week and she congratulated me, told me I needed to pat myself on the back more and that she’s glad last week actually helped get me off my butt (she said she felt kinda bad about it too, but not so much now that she saw it had a good effect kind of thing too ^^). I agree last week did help, though I definitely wouldn’t wanna go through that again though lol.

We went over the cycle from before real briefly just as a reminder that actually doing things is the best way to break it and to progress and I have this homework sheet consisting of a table with columns for my preconceived thoughts of a situation (which I am to score with a percentage I believe it), my emotions and feelings that arise, and my uhh re-scores and feelings after actually facing and going through the situation. I haven’t actually looked at the sheet since yesterday so I totally winged the explanation just then lol but it’s about linking thoughts and emotions and that’s pretty much the gist of it. I’m kinda nervous about filling it in and I’m leaving it to the end of the week to do it, which is bad, but I’ll at least know what to put in it better by then hopefully.

We went over some of the things I wrote on the self esteem sheet, some of my examples for the unhelpful negative behaviours and we discussed them for a while but only got through a few. She said she’d go over the other ones next time, we agreed I should continue to do what I did last week but maybe try even harder. (There’s lots of small details in the discussions which I can’t remember properly or can’t place in the right time slot rn oh welp ><”)

Then the session ended there (15 mins early) idk why though. But now that I think about it, maybe there was nothing else left to say or not much plan or other things needed to discuss in particular for the last 3 sessions so maybe just try and stretch what content we have on hand to discuss kind of thing? Or maybe she needed to go somewhere like the toilet? lol who knows xD 

I was feeling the session felt pretty short (my explanation also), but wasn’t all that bothered about it tbh, I’m not paying for it or anything and it gave me a little time to do other stuff before meeting with my sis. I plucked up the courage to go to a shop on my own again, I had a few things in mind that I actually wanted to look for which like the counsellor has said before will make it easier to motivate and immerse myself into doing things. I think I might write about this experience on the feelings-thoughts sheet. 

So, I went in, a little uneasy at first, but not as much as if it would have been a place I’ve never stepped foot into before. I perused at my leisure and tried my hardest not to be overly conscious of other people around, which I noted to myself do actually going about their own stuff and don’t pay you any mind at all which lessened the nerves a lot. I found some things I wanted, and this was another relief as I always get that niggling feeling that if I leave without buying they’ll think I stole something (but looking around the internets randomly, I came to know that this is a super common feeling which is comforting and I shouldn’t worry about it too much because so what if I didn’t buy anything, I just couldn’t find anything I wanted and that is totally fine!).

Partway in the last leg of my perusing, my sis phoned me and told me to hurry up and all that stuff and it kinda made me feel real antsy. I continued looking though at a slightly faster pace but she ended up calling outside and told me to hurry up even more and was waiting for me outside so I cut my browsing short and hurried to pay and felt pretty down about it. When paying I queued up behind a group of guys and felt self-conscious but well, they no care really and I got over it and ignored the thought. 

I went to the self serve till (the only kind open, so I wasn’t avoiding or anything) and proceeded to pay and I’m so glad I know how to use them as we use them most of the time my sis goes to the supermarket with me lol but I still was feeling pretty self-conscious and the ‘unexpected item in bagging area’ still gives me nerves and it happened twice to me but the assistant came over and fixed it straight away without me saying anything (which was a relief because I was feeling a little cowardly by then, but I would’ve been a little prouder of myself for actually asking).

I went with my sis to some other shops after that, I voiced that she was being quite mean on the phone and later she apologised, she was in a pretty bad mood in general and also the car park time wasn’t much and most of the bad feeling was dissolved. We then went to some other other shops with my mum in addition and I went off on my own to peruse which was nice though I couldn’t find anything I wanted, but it’s best not to waste monies on things I don’t need anyways. I got kind of sickly on the way home which wasn’t great but the general day was pretty alright.

There was somewhere else I wanted to go and me and my sis planned to go soon after but it was delayed and later I just kind of chickened out and took a nap instead :/ I was really tired and still sickly feeling though. I hope to get this sorted out this week still though, maybe I’ll tag along with my parents this time round, it’ll be okay! ^^

I also went to see a specialist doctor, I got a phone call for the appointment two days before the actual day (probably someone else cancelled) and I took it. I could’ve said no and waited even longer, but I didn’t, because health is important and should be dealt with asap! I wish I could bring myself to apply this to some of my other worries, but I’ll get there. Anyways it went alright, the typical general treatment route, but at least it’s something, now I’m waiting on my regular doc for the next steps. 

The kind of funny thing is though (in reference to my last post or maybe the one before it), is that I have been recommended to take anti-depressants (BUT not for depression) they happen to help with migraines and oversensitivity which affects me all the time pretty much. A lot of medicines help with other conditions they were not primarily made for, I only realised this in the recent years lol. I’m a little wary and I’m hoping that it’ll help, maybe even kill two birds with one stone, but if it doesn’t then oh welp and onto the next thing they recommend. I want to get better every way I can and there’s no harm trying (except maybe side effects ugh) it’s just the stigma thing again, it’s... complicated .__. But it’ll be okay!

In terms of my own art and online dabblings, I actually spent two of the days I did phone orders doodling and editing stuff a little. I wasn’t really going to draw anything seriously but my non serious doodle started off pretty alright and I continued it and finished it, which I kind of felt proud of as usually I start things and never finish them because I get scared to mess it up or think it’s not good enough. It has its flaws of course, I’m such a nit picky person and I know I need to improve, but looking past these things, I really like what I did and am glad I persevered and completed it.

I also tried posting something online, not on here, but I actually did it for once at least! It was nothing amazing, in fact it was really really lame, just a scrawl from another time but I still like it and that’s all that matters, right? Right! I was really struggling over what to write in the descriptions (much like how I spend ages agonising over writing comments) and still keep feeling iffy about what I wrote but it’s actually all fine, so I should stop worrying about it! Hear that silly me? Don’t fret and don’t regret, it’s fine so keep going! :D

Some people (very few) even liked my picture and one person even commented some thumbs up emojis. It’s really nice of them ;w; I don’t think they were bots and I looked at their pages too. The person that commented has a page full of beautiful art and idk I just felt like omg ahhhh they’re so much more amazing then me and super intimidated and wasn’t sure what to do about the comment and still haven’t done anything and it’s been a few days .__.

They probably like loads of peoples stuff though, and also there’s no obligation to have to like their stuff back (though I have a feeling that’s probably why they liked my awful doodle in the first place, to draw attention to their own page, but I shouldn’t assume, that’s bad, maybe they really thought my doodle was okay and kindly wanted to encourage, who knows). I think maybe I’ll like the comment at least, I don’t want to be rude >< I’m just scared that if I do go and like their stuff, I’ll feel obligated to always do it kind of thing, I’m still just so scared of interacting with people (also this person doesn’t speak english it seems and language barriers are my death, but this person didn’t mind it, so uh uh wait I’m being such a baby again ;____;)

I’m seriously overthinking things way too much again!! I get this feeling when I think of people that may have taken their time to read my posts or even the few people that have liked a post or two. I’m seriously very very grateful and would hug you if I could but I don’t know what to do from then and it just keeps swirling and nagging me inside and I’m so sorry >< Overthinking and social awkwardness will surely be the death of me. I need to stop all the uncertainty and what ifs and silly assumptions and just do what I feel! Why is it so hard..? ;^;

I actually got so scared I didn’t post the next small doodle I wanted to, but I need to get over it and just get it done and continue and post the things I’ve really really been wanting to post for months. No one actually cares about all the silly things I think they do, I can’t read minds and I can’t go one thinking that I can. The same for just people in general irl. I was actually a little proud that I was so self-conscious out in public as much recently, that I noticed people are too busy in their own world and that I’m silly for thinking they would expend the brain energy to linger on me negatively. Another mantra sort of thing I’ve been thinking is ‘IDGAF (and no one else does)’ lolol for reals, but it seems to be pretty effective so imma keep it! :>

Losing motivation and becoming disheartened is so easy. I’m going to continue small and simple and build up from there in every aspect and it’ll get easier and I’m gonna keep my grip real tight on that motivation and determination and soak in all my accomplishments no matter how small or insignificant they seem and convert them into even more positive energy! Imma do things!! Imma do lots of things and not get mad at myself even if I don’t manage to do some of them! Baby steps is the way to go! c:

Like always I get a bit apprehensive when writing these or even thinking of doing so, but they are actually very useful! I can sift through and explore my thoughts better now and I can help re-motivate and re-direction myself with them and I even think my writing and expression in general has gotten better! It’s a good thing, it’s an achievement! Be happy silly self! ^^

Worry just makes the world seem all the more scary. Break the cycle, break the cycle, snap it to pieces, crush it into dust and let it fly away in the wind and never return! >< Keep going, reach higher, climb further (without forgetting to take rest stops in between and continue onwards with renewed vigour) past the sky and the stars, you can do it! Moar fancy fancy motivation!! x3

I guess I’ll stop here, I think I’ve got most of the stuff down and there’s stuff I wanna do now that I’ve pieced my motivation back together some ^^ When I go to my drafts to write, I see the to do/dream list I wrote last time and it reminds me of all the things I could do, it definitely needs to be tidied up but it’s nice seeing it! I’m pumped! :3

I hope things go well for myself and everyone out there, go go!

Have a great evening! C:

#therapy #avpd #anxiety #social anxiety #depression #thoughts #feelings #*pats self on back* #feels good man #keep going #break the cycle #don't give a damn about the irrational #do it all for yourself #never regret #no obligations #baby steps #try your best! #onwards to victory!

[missq10]

#girlswithtattoos #tldr

*** DISCLAIMER**** This is my a personal and imperfect response to the things I've been through.

I am not making light of anyone's struggles with depression, self mutilation, battle with suicidal thoughts or anything of that ilk. Nor am I saying that getting tattoos will solve any issues you may be having.

If you find yourself in a low point please reach out to someone!! National Suicide Prevention Hotline: Call 1-800-273-8255 Available 24 hours everyday

***************

Now let's jump in Interwebs, it's been a while!

For the first time I was able to articulate to my mother why I get tattoos, and it was profoundly enlightening for my self journey. So why not share it with strangers??! Especially because in the last 4 years, I went from ZERO to 6 tattoos, including two very large ones, and I have plans of getting a few more. 

Anywho, here goes:

I have, in a relatively short time, lived a lot of life. I'm not saying I'm old or that I'm an "old soul". I've just been through some shit. I've experienced a ridiculous amount of tragedy, hardship, sorrow  and more. I've been physically hurt, homeless, taken advantage of, financially wrecked, sexually assaulted, abused, fetishized instead of loved, and loved with conditions.

Through everything, I can now see that I've also healed, been truly loved, found joy, helped others with their sorrow, found and re-found peace, truth and understanding for myself and others.

But when I look back and prepare for my future, I've identified that my biggest battles, like many's, have been and will continue to be mental battles. The mind is a scary interesting place and with that, like most functioning adults, I find the need to be presentable and keep going.

To that I say, "well damn" because on my lowest days, I've struggled with depression, considered cutting or hurting myself, had suicidal thoughts that became full blown plans. And in the end, I find tears and feel weak, and at times, feel like I'm being held together with shitty glue, paperclips and gum. While on my high days, things feel simple. The right hair-do, new glasses or a nice lipstick can have me high steppin' and smiling my way through the rest. 

Though, as a private person, I don't tell anyone anything about the low lows or the highs, and it would be hard to not feel like a fraud because nobody knew or knows how low the lows really can be or what my good days cost me.

It was about 4 years ago when I found, that one of my hang ups was that I have no "battle scars", no visible wounds. Even the scars I do have from any incidents have healed and aren't visible or recognizable. I mean shouldn't I have something to show for all of the struggle I've been through? There's no certificate for surviving homelessness; there's no trophy for surviving a rape and honestly, who would really want that and not be triggered??? What's wrong with you Karen??

I wrestled with the thoughts that my feelings about "proof of struggle" were just vanity and pride. Then realized, that's not entirely a fault nor is it wrong; it's how we've been raised. It's the "keeping up with the Joneses", "live the American dream" society we've inherited. The last several American generations have been conditioned (especially by social media) to live a "pics or it didn't happen" type of existence. Much of it is based on pride and vanity, but in a world where we show off the "happiness" we've deemed presentable [sidenote: will post full social media rant later], why shouldn't I be proud that I've survived some traumatic and heinous shit, and come through other people's fuckery as a strong woman?!

I thought, Karen, how can you show what you've gone through in a socially acceptable way, and not be obligated to explain it every time?

And thus started my love of tattoos! I mean what better way to do just that! Sure, globally tattoos have many different meanings and have different cultural characteristics; they ward off evil and offer protection; they are an initiation for coming of age; they can be tribal identifiers, and more. BUT in all of this, the simple truth is that tattoos are indeed worn proudly!

Though my first tattoo was small, and it was an impulse decision (what an oxymoron lol). As I walked out with my little wrist tattoo, it clicked: that's what I had needed.

For me, in all my tattoos there after, all of the parts of getting a tattoo hit the note of catharsis and healing.

- Deciding what I want to get is a journey in facing my demons, how they've impacted me, and how they can be made beautiful.

- Choosing an artist is always the toughest, I mean there's the basic, can this person do what I'd like and do they have the skill to pull it off; however in a way it's like choosing a therapist, who is this person that is going to become a part of my life, and am I willing to share this part of myself with this person. In my head, that has to be important to the artist as well. I typically need my artist to express that they "get it" and I'm not just a one and done-walk in client or at the very least make it seem like that...aside from the aforementioned impulse first tattoo.

- The consultations and pricing are like building that trust and commitment to, "let's do this" and "I will keep my word" from both parties. It's like the safety of having a contract with an non-disclosure clause.

- Choosing placement gives me control of sharing or not sharing whatever battle, demon or truth of me is being displayed.

- The physical pain is never very bad, but somehow always feels like the appropriate payment- for lack of a better word- owed for spending time battling myself.

- The Aftercare and healing is a tangible representation of the self-care and healing I've gone through to be the woman I am now.

When people talk about getting wrinkles or going gray as they age, many will say "I earned these" or in some way reference how those are normal signs of life and wisdom. Welp, it's the same with tattoos.

As Maui of Moana so aptly sang in reference to his own skin art, ".... the tapestry here on my skin/Is a map of the victories I win/Look where I've been..."

#girlswithtattoos #healing #self care #self love #truth