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lostalienchild · 8 months

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Makima x Fem reader headcannons cuz I can

Warnings: Spoilers, mentions of intoxication, NSFW themes, yandere ideas cuz it's makima

Minors dni

First of all, makima is a straight woman, but like most people there is some flexibility there. I only write wlw so I'll be discussing wlw dynamics and headcannons based on that. Makima may at most be an unknowing heteroflexible.

At the time of y/n's arrival into her life (devil hunter, or chance encounter) she probably saw you as another pawn or at best (worst) a nobody. Especially if y/n was not particularly close to denji

Makima sees humans as dogs, (which is also curious considering that most humans would die for their dogs) although you may be useful in general, you may not be useful for her original goal.

The key with makima is patterns, aloofness, and idiosyncrasies. makima will not notice you otherwise. You annoy her. Always asking why. Asking why and questioning her logic gets you put on her shit list. Which is in fact a good thing. It may make her even wonder why she is doing what she is doing. If she even wants what she wants?

For instance, when you heard power was put with aki and denji, you argued about how that wasn't fair for aki. About how he was only one person and had to look after 2 fiends. How it was short notice and how she wasn't being considerate. When makima retorted that aki was more than capable of watching after them both, you asked whether or not she even respected him enough to ask him first. It made her pause. On one hand you were a nuisance, on the other hand you were on to something. Especially considering her true goal when it came to aki and the others.

"if you give into people, others will give into you," was your response when she tries to manipulate you once. Without ties to the gun devil you needed more motivation. After another company party and after a round of drinks you were a bit tipsy, but sober enough to function fine. Makima offered to order another round and you refused, being at your limit. Himeno, the bad influence she is, urged you for one more drink before aki reprimanded her. Makima insisted as well saying that parties were rare and should be enjoyed while they lasted. She really dug in, "many people don't stay in section 4 for long, these memories are precious." she got you with that one. You ended up accepting the drink.

After that you weren't in the best of states and makima accompionied you outside, allowing you to lean on her shoulder for support as you stood. She offered to walk you home. With the added liquor you were more sociable than usual. You weren't dumb though. You knew makima wasn't completely trustworthy, but you couldn't put your finger on as to why or what it was. Everyone around loved miss makima. Miss makima was always polite, pristine, and pretty. Her office was bare and housed no personal affects. No pictures or trinkets. She never spoke about herself. Someone like her was off putting. But.. Where was the danger exactly? So you ignore it until that night.

When she offered you a deal you didn't fall for it.

"Kill the gun devil and I'll grant you any request 🧚‍♀"

"??? You don't have to? I'll just do it?"

"Eh?👁👁"

Finishes the rest of the walk in mostly silence. You mean that if people love you they'll just do whatever? No give and take? She thinks she caught any easy break at first, but your way of thinking has a profound affect on her. "Your way of thinking is very profound" "no it's not" "?"

Low-key starts asking some of the other section members questions including you. "y/n why do you work for section 4? Do you trust my leadership?" "Leadership can only be good if it improved, and it can only improve through questioning." Ah, at this point you should be a pain in her side. But you're intriguing, beautiful, and genuine. And she's the control devil, so she does what she does best.

Somehow you lost your housing, oh you poor thing. And now somehow you've gotten yourself into trouble at HQ. Makima said she would do her best but did she really? You were let go, a devastating and confusing occurrence. Makima took pity and allowed you to move in with her and her huskies. She said you could stay with her as her dog.

"Well? Will you just do it this time?"

Her tone makes it sound like an honest question, but you know it's a dig from the previous night where she walked you home. This is an offer that can't be refused. Not if you wanted to live. When you do move in you're overwhelmed by the amount of dogs. Especially if you're a cat person. After a while makima does eventually warm up to the idea of having a cat after a few months.

When you first get to her apartment she doesn't really know what to do with you Other than the usual, which is control you. She gives you a strict schedule and expects you to follow it. In this case you can't question her.

Wake up at 5am

Get breakfast ready by 6:00am

Eat breakfast And feed the dogs

Morning walk with the dogs at 6:30am

Return by 7:15am

Makima leaves by 7:20am

The rest of the day is spent doing house work and running errands which it's self is not easy. High key her tone Changes, goes from manipulative and cunning, to sarcastic and demanding. Missing a chore or doing one incorrectly leads to punishment. She'll give you the idea that everything is fine before bringing up the mistake calmly. Shell tell you to get on your knees.

Treats you like a dog for fun but also for punishment. Has a dog cage for those occasions. Makes you sleep in it. Makes you wear a collar. Calls you a dog, but sometimes a cat depending on your temperament. Has you beg on your knees despite your pride, and even feeds you small treats when you behave. Will sic her dogs on you if you misbehave again. They won't hurt you, but they will restrain you. Her moods are particularly worse on rainy days or days when she meets with the "big wigs". She becomes more silent and short with you. Sometimes you may trigger her, other times there is no trigger. It just happens, she'll come home and place the collar on you and you know makima is in a bad mood

Cooking, baking, and movie nights Are a nightly routine. You're expected to watch her movies and sit through the whole thing, no matter how bad it is. Makima will always watch it all the way through. She prefers happy feel good and dramatic movies like titanic or the note book. She also has her favorites that she revisits every now and again. If a sex scene appears she doesn't even flinch, meanwhile you may be shifting uncomfortably. And looking away. Occasionally watches horror and action movies. Will let you choose a movie every now and then if she's in a good mood.

Cooking and baking with makima is the softest you'll see her. She always looks for new recipes to try and is meticulous about measurements. She loves to meal prep as well. Her kitchen looks like a chefs kitchen. Each spice is weighted and places in its own bowl. Everything is thawed out. The chicken is washed. The knives are sharpened. She has a whole arsenal of cooking utensils. She makes sure both of you are following the recipe to a T.

Makima loves taking walks with you. She's a morning person but often stays up late ish, the latest being 10 pm, before she orders you and the dogs to bed. Walks with her are uncomfortably cordial. She'll ask you about your day as if you haven't spent all day playing house. She'll talk about her day nonchalantly as well without giving too much away. It hurts when she talks about power and the others. She senses that and depending on what she needs she may either change the subject or talk about it more.

Makima has you sleeping in the dog cage at first, but on one particular night, after sobbing over one of her classics you comfort her and she decides to allow you into her bedroom.

That night she gets a bit curious. She calmly demans that you remove your clothes. She tentatively explores your body, as well as her own desires and need for touch. She finds that it's still pleasurable, but you were still Just a place holder. Something to satiate her until she reches her goal.

Will add onto this if I think of something more

#makima smut #makima #makima csm #makima headcannons #csm headcanons #makima x reader

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hellofa-ride · 2 years

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Random TF2 Headcanons:

-Scout reads comics 24/7, and he will often share his comics with Pyro

-Sniper and Heavy both love hunting and will often go on hunting trips together. Because of this, Sniper has taught Heavy how to use a sniper rifle.

-Heavy is usually seen as stoic and stuff but this is not true. At first, he comes off as quiet and intimidating, but once you get to know him he can be just as expressive and talkative as anybody else.

-Even if he has a quite limited vocabulary and a straightforward way of talking.

-Heavy cares for his team very, VERY deeply and would probably kill everyone in the room and then himself if anything happened to any of them.

-Similar to Heavy, Spy also cares for his team a LOT even if he has trouble showing it.

-In fact, they’re all idiots who would die for each other.

-Everyone on the team sorta acts like a dad to Scout, even Pyro in some ways.

-Zhanna has painted Soldier’s nails before.

-Sniper knows a lot about animals, so he will often go on rants about them to the team.

-The first time that he did it he got really embarrassed and tried to apologize, but the team quickly assured him that it was fine.

-They told him that they actually WANTED to hear what they had to say.

-Sniper tried to keep talking, but he ended up breaking down in tears.

-He’s not used to people actually wanting to hear what they have to say, so when someone shows genuine interest in their hobbies they really didn’t know how to react.

-Scout has accidentally called Spy “dad” once, but Spy never teases him for it.

-In fact, that incident is one of Spy’s most treasured memories.

-Pyro’s favorite game is Candy Land, and everyone has played it with them at some point.

-They’re also really good at Sorry, Uno, and Chess and will always beat anyone who they play against.

-Spy is really good at shuffling cards, and at one point he was a bit kleptomaniac.

-He’s pretty good at controlling it nowadays, but every time that he backstabs anyone he will always go out of his way to pickpocket them.

-He also has a history of stealing pens or any coins/dollar bills left out.

-And every once in a while he will be caught with something random that he swiped unconsciously, specifically shiny things.

-Luckily, it’s always something insignificant like a mini wrench from Engie’s workshop or a baseball card from Scout’s room.

-They always give it back though and ashamedly mutter an apology.

-They always beat themselves up whenever this happens, although they don’t tell anyone else how they feel. It’s pretty obvious though, but nobody points it out.

-Pyro and Spy get along surprisingly well because Pyro’s happy to listen to Spy’s stories and always has a light on him.

-Speaking of that, every once in a while Spy will tell a story to the team.

-They’re always pretty interesting and a bit crazy, but some of them are overexaggerated or fake though.

-Spy and Medic are both really good at lockpicking.

-Demoman has the most steady hands to ever exist. It’s something that you get when making bombs for a living.

-Every once in a while he will even lend a hand to Medic in surgeries.

-He also mostly gets around the world based on touch and sound, due to his poor eyesight.

-Engie is actually surprisingly strong because he has to lug around a toolbox with a bunch of metal in it all of the time.

-Spy actually knows a bit about mechanics, because he was the one who made his sapper and invisibility watch.

(Hello I am back after my unfortunate death. I was.. busy to put it simply.)

#tf2 #tf2 spy #tf2 scout #tf2 sniper #tf2 soldier #tf2 demo #tf2 demoman #tf2 engie #tf2 engineer #tf2 medic #tf2 heavy #tf2 pyro #tf2 hc #tf2 headcanons

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trekkie-polls · 5 months

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About

Hello! This is a new blog. I’m still figuring out the details.

I’ve been a star trek fan my whole life - it started with getting in trouble in kindergarten for staying up to watch late night tos reruns, and I watched all of tos, ds9, and voy as they aired. I tried ent when it first aired and didn’t care for it. Later as part of a project to watch all episodes in in-world chronology, I did watch all of ent. Still didn’t care for it. But it is trek. I watch all new trek, and for the most part I love it (pauses to side-eye Picard season three), but don’t have the same knowledge base with it because I haven’t rewatched it as many times. I’ve seen all of the movies but I honestly just tend to forget them when I’m thinking about what’s happened in cannon. I think they live in a separate part of my brain? I haven’t read the books or comics yet but I do spend a lot of time on Memory Beta.

Right now I’m rewatching lower decks & tos and that’s what I have on my mind.

Anyway, this is all to say that I plan to be inclusive with all star trek media on this blog, but not everything will get equal attention. There are just some things I know more about or am more interested in.

In particular, there are a limited number of options in tumblr polls, and there is a lot of star trek media out there. I make sure to put “other in tags”, or combine titles in a choice, in cases where every item can’t have its own little box. Yes sometimes my personal opinions influence how I break that up, and that’s ok, because this is something I do in my free time for fun.

You are very welcome to submit polls & posts. If you do, and I repost them, I’ll credit you unless you prefer to stay anonymous. Btw - this is how you can get more content around your favorite series if you’re not seeing as much as you’d like.

Right now I don’t have any rules about submissions. It’s possible I won’t post something that’s clearly prejudiced, malicious etc… but I haven’t figured out exactly where I draw that line yet. I don’t plan to gatekeep what is and isn’t trek. I have personal opinions about what I enjoy and what I don’t enjoy, but star trek belongs to everyone and it’s illogical to try to draw lines around what is “legitimate” trek for everyone.

I haven’t really figured out what to say about trigger warnings, spoilers, and nsfw. I don’t plan for this to be especially nsfw, but I do plan to cuss and touch on adult concepts sometimes (I mean how can we not talk about the many forehead vaginas). I also plan to add content/ trigger warnings that are obvious to me but I’m far from an expert about what the most important ones to include are. And finally spoilers are hard because most star trek media has been around forever and the fandom is here to talk about what happened in it, but some is brand new and it can be hard to stay completely caught up, and even the oldest series are new to someone. So I’m making an effort to consider triggering content, spoilers, and nsfw but can’t responsibly make promises on any of them.

And last but not least, I’m happy to block people who call me names. I’m here on my free time for fun.

Tldr:

This blog will be a mixture of:

Polls I make

Other star trek posts I find interesting

Polls & posts you submit

If I see a star trek poll I find interesting I may write the author and ask for permission to reblog here

This blog will not:

Gatekeep what is & isn’t star trek

Be completely impartial to my interest

Be completely sfw or spoiler free, or include all important trigger & content warnings

P.S. I’m in this for the tags. I absolutely love reading through everyone’s theories, favorites, stories, etc…. So if you want to tip this blog please do it by adding your star trek thoughts :)

#trekkie polls

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svpe · 1 year

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HEADCANON. powers & abilities

an indepth look at superman's powers. it's a very divided topic, so i've cherry picked what i think to be some of the best explanations, as well as adding in a few thoughts of my own. please note that this is all dependent on the fact that he's a solar battery and can absorb the yellow sun energy. also be aware of the fact that being in the presence of kryptonite will severely weaken him and his powers. done in alphabetical order

eidetic memory. superman is able to remember things that happen in great detail, and has practically flawless recall of memories. this also means that he is able to learn quite quickly and is becoming more fluent in a wide variety of languages.

enhanced senses. all of superman's senses are far beyond what a peak human is capable of. most of the time, he dulls them down to stop himself from being overwhelmed, but he can deliberately tune in to any one of them whenever he pleases.

he's able to see both on a microscopic and telescopic level as well as being able to see fairly well in the dark.

as for hearing, he's able to hear something as subtle as a pin drop anywhere on earth and, if he's focusing, things that are happening off world.

his nose is more sensitive to smells. he use it if he knows that it will aid in what he's doing ex. finding a bomb based on the smell of the chemicals.

flight. pretty self explanatory. what is important to note is the speed in which he can fly. where some interpretations say that superman can fly at the speed of light or infinite speed (which involves the ability to travel through time, break through reality, etc), my superman is somewhere between the speed of sound and light when going all out. i like to state that he is NOT faster than any of the speedsters, but he might be able to give them a run for their money if he really tried.

frost / super breath. he's able to inhale and exhale with a force strong enough to move large objects. due to the large inhale, he's able to hold his breath for long periods of time and can survive longer in environments such as being underwater or in space. he can also breathe out cold air which is able to put out fires and, in some cases, freeze air moisture itself.

heat vision. this is not the same as something like the optic blasts that cyclops uses. superman shoots solar energy from his eyes which can reach the peak temperature of around 5000°C, making it more than hot enough to burn through most materials. however, it's not just an offensive tool. as seen in man of steel, he can use his heat vision to cauterise wounds. it has a maximum range of around one hundred miles, but he's able to control the distance, intensity and measurements of the beamn to suit the occasion.

invulnerability / healing / lifespan. superman is invulnerable to every human disease, as well as extreme temperatures, and being able to physically tank almost any hit. it takes a lot to make superman bleed as he's been able to withstand forces such as darkseid's omega beams. if he does get hurt, he heals quicker than. a human, but a lot slower than those with a 'proper' healing factor. his healing factor combined with his invulnerability means that he has a longer lifespan than a human, but it's unknown just how long.

super speed. faster than a speeding bullet. as discussed in the flight section, supes is fast, and not just in the air. he's able to reach the same speeds on foot ( perhaps a little less ), and it also extends to things such as reading, reaction time in general, and sometimes even the speed in which his brain works. he is smart, but even with the speed in which his brain moves, he's not as clever as the likes of batman or smarter than other prominent intellectuals.

super strength. so, superman is strong. really strong. it's one of those abilities which just feels too overpowered. it's been explored by countless writers and there doesn't seem to be a limit on his strength. however, for the purposes of giving a ballpark number, i'll take from all-star superman where it's shown the supes is able to lit around 200 quintillion tons with one hand whilst claiming he could lift more.

x-ray vision. the ability to see through objects. the only material he can't see through is lead. this is one of the reasons he dislikes gotham as most of the old buildings are lined with it ( batman & superman: world's finest by kesel ). his krypton made glasses currently mean that he can't use his x-ray vision unless peering over them or completely not wearing them.

#purchased one character expansion pack ▬ headcanon #[ i spent too long on this one peeps ]#/ long post #[ might be updated / adjusted later ]

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nulltune · 2 years

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lynnnn will u tell us how u first got attached to hakuno and what u like the most about her <3 i want to hear it since i respect urs and ur appreciations for her sm

UBUBUBUBU THANK U FOR THIS ASK TSUN!!!! I LOVE TALKING ABT HAKUNO AT ANY CHANCE EVER (U KNOW DIS.. IM SURE!!!) SO TY FOR ENABLING ME HEHE ❤️ ofc i will tell u!!!! u could ask me for my credit card numbers and i'd give it 2 u.... 🥺 VDKCHS /J!!! BUT OKOK RAMBLE TIME 4 ME--

not to be dramatic but i remember the first time i saw hakuno so well..... i was scrolling thru instagram when i saw this fanart of sir gilbert gamesh with her (too lazy to search it up rn but it was him whispering sth to her and her laughing!) and no joke, my first thought was who is this mysmes mc looking girl- I WANT TO PUNCH MY PAST SELF SO HARD FOR THINKING THAT BTW. i had vvv limited of fate at the time and only watched the fate/zero anime but i knew gilgamesh is a hard person to get along with (putting it lightly) so i got intrigued at that point. i literally just looked thru her wiki tho ngl. it was when i read a transcript(?) of the fate/extra here and that's when i fell in so deep!!! literally read it all in one go aND BOYYYYY THE FRIKKIN ENDING MAN, THE ENDING!!!!! WHY DONT PPL TALK ABT IT MORE IT LEFT SUCH AN IMPRESSION ON MEEE I WAS IN SHAMBLES 😭😭 i wasn't even playing on getting into ccc but i was in Desperate Need of more hakuno content so.. i read it all the next day. and i loved it!! idk if i was full on Hakuno Luvr at that moment tho, but i liked her a lot 🥺 started actively looking for fanart and even read some fanfic of her too VSJFBSJFJJ (i proceed 2 realize that this is a hella long ramble that does not answer ur q) HMM I DON'T THINK THERE WAS A SPECIFIC MOMENT THAT WAS MY HAKUNO SIMP REALIZATION THO... i fell in love over time <3

but i will say, writing her def gave me a newfound appreciation for her!! i feel like i've 100% gotten a better understanding of her from writing her (tho that's also bc i do be writing her hc-based... ehe☆) and i feel like you could relate to this too tsunniepoo, which is how- you really come to appreciate them for what they Can be too, not just how they were in canon (US WITH YQ HAKUNO BOND TOO BTW 🥺🥺). rping her contributes to that too!!

WHAT I LIKE MOST ABT HER THO..... THATS A HELLA TOUGH QUESTION TSUN!!!! SGFJDHDH IT'D BE FASTER TO ASK ME WHAT I DON'T LIKE ABT HER NGL! skelly asked me this once too (before my thanos snap clean up 😳) and UUUUU THIS IS STILL SUCH A TOUGH Q!!!! i love her as a character so much..... she's so complex and unique, her character development is top notch and the way the cast and the story all play a role in it is just so -CHEF KISS- she is not a static character!!! so much development too, it makes me sad how extella pretty much forgets all of it 😭 but i'm gettin a lil sidetracked here!! i love her as a person toooo i love her personality!! she's so entertaining to follow, i love seeing how she responds to the situations she finds herself and i love!!! Her!!!! BUT IF FORCED 2 ANSWER...... i think my answer would be....

her heart 🥺 which you can really see in my portrayal, i hope!! her interactions with julius is one of my fav things in fate extra Ever, especially when the arena was all messed up and it was pretty much fuuuull of julius's hatred for hakuno but hakuno still kept going on and even tried to understand julius in spite of that!! i love how hakuno literally lost consciousness (even her servant got super worried!! it was That serious!!) just by being there but when she regains her consciousness, all she could focus on was julius's memory she'd just seen and how he seemed to be suffering. and then how the whole time she was just concerned abt julius.... says so much abt her character imo and i love it lots!!! really like how hakuno has been shown time and time again to knowingly risk herself for someone else's benefit and how a huuge thing in extra is always hakuno discovering those very compassionate and human values even when she starts out all hollow and empty :,)

the way she treats others and the morals and values she learns hits soo deep to me and personally really makes me feel some kinda way.. (a good way!) something something she was in a cruel and vicious environment and found out that her entire existence doesn't matter but still has a heart that's big enough to think of others and choose to hold onto kindness to the very end..... 😭😭❤️ veeery interesting too, because it's almost like a parallel to twice, who hakuno could've very much become if she didn't have a heart like hers! (that's a whole nother topic thooo <3) i feel like this trait of hers is soooo important, i really wish ppl noticed it more, it really sucks to not really see much (if not any) of it in extella </3 it's what makes her bonds and connections so realistic and unique imo, and that's my fav thing abt fate extra ;_; it's vvvv natural and not plot-contrived at all, really feels like two individuals developing a genuine bond. ofc it's not Just this character trait that makes me love hakuno...... there is sm to love abt her!!! there are many many little things that make hakuno hakuno that make me luvs her ❤️

#tenkoseiensei #&&. out of #q.#AUGH TSUNNN THIS IS LIKE ?? THE HARDEST QUESTION EVER SRSLY 😭😭😭#TY FOR SENDING THO!!! glad 2 see someone isn't freaked out by my immense love 4 h.akuno 😳 /j #also this isn't a very good answer ngl but cut me some slack tHIS WAS SO TOUGH TO ANSWERR #also ye as u can see- i run off my mouth when talking abt hakuno #IM A CHATTERBOXXXX (I SCREAM)

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translations-by-aiimee · 2 years

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Dig a Grave to Dig Out a Ghost - Chapter 41

Original Title: 挖坟挖出鬼

Genres: Drama, Horror, Mystery, Supernatural, Yaoi

This translation is based on multiple MTLs and my own limited knowledge of Chinese characters. If I have made any egregious mistakes, please let me know.

Chapter Index

Chapter 41

Lin Yan shook his head.

The old man smiled and said: "As soon as you stretched out your hand, I knew it wasn't him when I smelled it. Hong Sheng's hand, what did it smell like? It smelled of oil and mud, like someone who works hard. Your little hands are so clean, the soap smell almost made me sneeze, and the smell of oranges was overpowering. How could you fool me?"

Lin Yan couldn't help but smile. He put his palm under his nose to smell it, but he was a little surprised that there was only a strong orange scent.

"You can't smell yourself, but only those who like you can recognize it. Now that I think about it, Hong Sheng's hand was a mess, like it had been carved up by a knife. I couldn't even feel his lifeline. There was a big scar on the back of his right hand. He had gotten into a fight with some punks and his hand was slashed with a knife. A barefoot doctor sewed it up. His fingernails and toenails were also long, poking through his socks. Each finger showed a struggle. The nine loops in his fingerprints should his poor life. His index finger was a touch longer than his ring finger, and his pinky finger just reached the second knuckle of his ring finger. The palm of his hand was as rough as sandpaper. . ."

"I remember it so well." Lin Yan carried the thermos bottle and poured water for the old man. The enamel jar gently knocked on the side of the thermos. He turned around and said with a smile, "Your relationship is so good that people are jealous of it."

"If you like someone, you don't need eyes to see them clearly. If you don't like someone, even if you had four eyes, they'd be useless." The old man said quietly: "Those hands have protected me all my life. I've never seen them with my own eyes, but they are as familiar as if they were right in front of me."

"If you can say that one day, you will be inseparable from that person." The old man picked up a glass of water and asked Lin Yan with interest, "You're in your twenties, are you married?"

Lin Yan shook his head. A shadow flashed in his heart, and he forced it down and said, "No. We talked about it and almost got married, but the girl didn't want to so we ended up breaking up."

The old man sighed regretfully, "You kids, don't think I don't know. You scream every day that they don't have a house or a car, your personalities clash. They love themselves like they were the sun. You want nothing more than to give the world to your partner, but is it love? We couldn't even afford a bed at that time, but we loved each other. We made do with it and never regretted it until the day we died."

"That's not it." Lin Yan took another orange and peeled it. He threw a piece into his mouth. He thought about Weiwei's face. He was embarrassed to tell the old man that he didn't like girls and almost got engaged to someone else. The old man was unrelenting and he continued to ask him: "Just describe it like I did, and I'll see if you two can make it."

Lin Yan chuckled and sat up straight. He was worried that the old man would get tired of talking too much, and he found this topic amusing, so he began to recount his memories with Weiwei: "She. . . she. . . well, she's very beautiful. She has a sharp chin, likes to have fun, she's got an independent personality. I like. . ."

He fumbled his words. Lin Yan tried hard to describe Weiwei to the old man, but found that he knew almost nothing about her. She was the one who had lived under the same roof as him for more than a year and gave him the most ordinary happiness and joy. He frowned and recalled a memory of her busy in the kitchen wearing an apron. The strange thing was that the image of Weiwei in his mind was only a slender back. There were fried eggs and milk cereal on the table, and bright sunlight fell on the ground. Lin Yan thought, Why is the scene so familiar?

The tall and slender young master held a frozen fish in his hand and said cautiously, "I wanted to make you breakfast."

The jade-like skin and the bright smile on his face appeared at close range, thinking that Lin Yan had accepted him after that crazy night. Like a child who finally got his candy, he contentedly hugged his waist, chin on his shoulder, and tenderly said, I'll be gentler next time.

There was no next time. It felt like a needle had stabbed Lin Yan's heart so badly he was bleeding.

He forgot who said that if there was only love between two people, nothing but love will matter, but the reality is that countless people spend their whole lives without meeting that person who makes their heart tremble. Not everyone is lucky enough to see the purest form of love, the love that exists beyond physical attraction. More people, more and more people, nearly 50 years old, have lives full of treasure, painted pillars and carved beams, children around their knees; the appearance of unity, but divided at heart. Same bed, different dreams.*

*(T/N: 同床异梦 - an expression that describes a relationship between two people whose lives are intimately intertwined, but who do not fundamentally communicate with each other.)

Who said that you could hold hands and grow old together? The people who can grow old together do not necessarily have affection, and the people who have affection do not necessarily grow old together. Their fate is dreary and treacherous. . . Unfortunately, no matter how they live, they only have one life.

His heart was in a mess and he didn't say anything else. The old man was a little disappointed, muttering something about the youth of today. He put his hand under the covers and covered them. He couldn't tell what he was thinking.

Seemingly encouraged by the slightly contemptuous expression on the old man's face, Lin Yan dropped his smile. He took a deep breath and turned his eyes to the window. In the gray rain, in the gray city, there was a person walking in an invisible far away place. . .

He whispered softly in a dreamy voice: "He's tall, with broad shoulders and a narrow waist. He likes to frown. When he frowns, there's always a line between his eyebrows. He's always squinting at me. The bridge of his nose is very straight. It has a small bump, and it's said that people with a bump in their nose have bad tempers. He's more stubborn than me. When he's angry, he always holds back and doesn’t speak. It really annoys me and then he gets all soft. . . He's very jealous, jealous of everything. His fingers are long and slender, and the bones stand out. His whole body is cold. His hair grows to a little below his waist. His appearance won't change, but his nails and hair can grow longer. Like they say in rural areas, before he left, I wanted to help him cut his nails, but I didn't have time. . ."

Every part of his heart ached. Lin Yan held his breath and continued: "When he walks, his back is very straight, he stands out. He always smells like honey locust soap. Not a body wash, but soap. He can play the piano and is good at calligraphy and painting, but he doesn't even want to comb his hair by himself. He wants me to help him put on his clothes. He doesn't know how to cut vegetables, and he insists on making fish for me. He stays in my bed and refuses to move. I could never get rid of him. . ."

He thought that something was wrong with him. Why did it feel like there was something stuck in his throat? Why did it feel like there was a stone in his chest?. . .

"He is sometimes very aggressive, but it's all for my own good. He follows me wherever I go. He has to wait at the door when I go to the bathroom. He is so proud that I want to slap him, but he can put up with waiting for me in the most humbling of places. . . He looks good in everything. . . I'm willing to buy him anything he wants. . . I. . . I. . ."

With his face buried in his hands, his voice was hoarse and almost inaudible: "I miss him, I really miss him. . ."

Lin Yan pinched his forehead with his fingers, his thumb resting on his chin. His chest hurt as if it was split open. His eyes were red, and he could no longer control the emotions that he had repressed for the past several days. He didn't want to lose his composure, so covered his mouth and covered his eyes. He fought to keep his expression neutral a couple more times before he finally burst into tears in front of the old man. He buried his face in his lap and sobbed: "What should I do? He doesn't want me anymore. He's not coming back. . . What should I do. . ."

The old man slowly patted Lin Yan's head. His dry hands gently stroked the back of his head and said softly: "It's alright, it's alright. Don't overthink things. How can you be so fond of him and still let him go? This is a mistake a child would make."

Lin Yan shook his head and said hoarsely, "We can't be together."

"Hong Sheng and I have suffered a lifetime of glares, and it's not over yet. There is no can or can't, it just depends on whether you want it or not." The old man slowly comforted.

"We're different from you and Hong Sheng. We simply can't live together. We're always arguing, and we're both too stubborn for our own good. We both think that the other needs to be more considerate. I can't stand it anymore..." Lin Yan struggled to see through his red eyes. He thought of the ghost's cold eyes in the hospital and his unwillingness to compromise, even in the face of death, and he felt another stab in his heart.

He thought that the old man would question their conflicting personalities, but the old man burst out laughing as if he had been listening to the troubles of a three-year-old child: "What a silly boy. How can you live without arguing? The more you like them, the more you pick at them. You didn't see me and Hong Sheng. When I was young and impatient, I was in a hurry and I ran into problems. But if I made trouble, who would really take it seriously."

Lin Yan bit his lower lip stubbornly and did not speak.

The old man laughed even harder. He touched Lin Yan's chin with a rough hand and asked, "Do you argue with others?"

"No."

"What about him?"

"No." Lin Yan said indignantly. "He doesn't pay attention to others at all. He's always stuck to me."

"There you have it. Who would spend all their energy endlessly fighting with someone who doesn't matter? The more they like them, the more they care. I think it's interesting to think about. Two children fighting each other every day at home. It's so lively." Hearing the defiance in Lin Yan's tone, the old man trembled and sighed, "A couple is only a couple if they are willing to fight. Your feelings are worth this fight, isn't that enough? At my age, there's no one left to argue with."

The old man was a little emotional. Lin Yan was silent as he thought back on the old man's words and feelings. He and Xiao Yu, who he had always thought of as a host and parasite in disguise, everything was a premeditated coincidence. The internship, encountering ghosts, the conspiracy and killings were all mysterious and bizarre. The man behind the crime was still missing. Lin Yan bit his lip. What could he trust? Only that person, only his protection and longing, was real.

There are tens of thousands of people in the world. It was his bad luck that he was the one picked for this. How are his stubbornness and unyieldingness not Xiao Yu's misfortune?

Lin Yan turned his face and said softly, "It's no use. He's gone and he's not coming back."

The old man was silent. His wrinkled face slowly shifted to show a special determined expression. He said as if he were speaking to himself: "You can't be separated that easily. So he's gone, won't you go looking for him? Who can guarantee that you won't have a moment when you fall off the wagon? If he fainted on the way to an appointment, would you still wait and leave him alone like that?"

Lin Yan wiped his nose. In front of this unhesitating old man, he suddenly felt embarrassed by his outburst. He cleaned up his messy face, and asked rhetorically, "What about you? If you and Hong Sheng argue and he gets angry and leaves, do you look for him?"

"I'd look for him. I'd definitely look for him. I can't see so he didn't dare leave whenever he was angry. If he did leave, I would have to find him." The old man said calmly. That unexplained determination spread from his expression to his words, like making a solemn promise in the face of emptiness, "Peel another orange. You won't be able to eat it even if you want to later."

Lin Yan thought that the old man was saddened by his lover's death, so he took out a bigger one from the plastic bag. While picking out the strings, he promised, "I'll visit you often from now on, and you can tell me if you want something to eat."

The old man smiled noncommittally and stopped talking.

When the next day came, the weather was still cloudy and rainy, and the vendors who had set up the stall were gone. Lin Yan went to several supermarkets to find the old man's favourite sugar candy oranges. The elevator in the hospital was still not repaired. He climbed all the way up to the sixth floor. When he opened the door, Lin Yan suddenly found that the old man's bed was empty. Two nurses were changing the sheets, and the whole room was filled with the pungent smell of disinfectant.

"Where's Mr. Liang?" Lin Yan asked while standing at the door, holding a plastic bag.

"He's gone. He had sudden heart failure at four o'clock this morning." The nurse expressionlessly threw both the enamel jar and the thermos into a basket and kicked it out with her foot. "Are you a family member? Just in time, pack up his things. "

Lin Yan was anxious: "Yesterday, he was talking and eating well. Why did he go so suddenly?"

Another nurse chimed in: "He was old, which is something young people still seem to have trouble understanding. It was only a matter of time." After saying that, they sighed, "Actually, he was resuscitated this morning, and he woke up not long after the doctor left. He took off the oxygen mask by himself. . . When I came to do rounds this morning, his whole body was stiff. I heard he was a lonely old man. He had probably lived long enough, poor thing."

The plastic bag slipped from his hand, and the oranges rolled across the floor. Lin Yan stared blankly at the vacated hospital bed and suddenly understood what the old man said yesterday.

He didn't miss his time to go. Liang Qing went to his Hong Sheng as if it was the simplest and most natural thing. He was in heaven, on his way to the Yellow Springs. He used death to fulfill a promise. From now on, they will hold each other's hands and never leave each other, never be alone.

Lin Yan walked far away from the morgue but he was still in a trance. The expression of the old man in the morgue was peaceful. It was even like he was smiling, as if he was immersed in a beautiful dream and forgot to wake up. The rain fell a little less. Lin Yan walked forward dazedly. His face was cold. He raised his head and fine raindrops fell into his eyes, and they were wet.

All of Liang Qing and Zhang Hong Sheng's savings were just enough to buy a grave in this expensive city. The old man had no children and no relatives. Only Lin Yan and a little yellow cat he took out from the old man's house came to see him off. It was hungry and was skin and bones. When it saw Lin Yan bringing the locksmith through the door, it let out a soft meow. Lin Yan gave it a few pieces of ham and a carton of milk. He touched its head and said your master is gone, I can't make up for it.

The sky was covered with heavy gray rain clouds, but the air was warm. A man and a cat stood silently in front of the grave. Two names are engraved side by side on the black marble headstone, a "forever" home.

Some promises can transcend life and death. Live together, die together, and even become ghosts and continue on together after that. . . Lin Yan hugged the kitten. He opened a black umbrella and walked back, his eyes aimlessly looking around the cemetery. He said to himself: "I'm also going to find someone. That person has a terrible temper. It's said that cats can see ghosts. If you see him, you must scratch him a few times for me."

Life is short and fate is unpredictable. Who dares to hope for perfection? How about just being with someone you fall in love with, seize every day with, and dream with together for a better tomorrow.

#dig a grave to dig out a ghost translation #danmei novel #bl novel #chinese novel #english translation #danmei #chinese bl #dig a grave to dig out a ghost

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freunwol · 2 years

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remember when i said id upload the rest of the ssau beta designs i coould remember where they were. remember when i said that literal months ago. uhhh

ohhhgh i threw this design out like almost immediately.... i have no clue what i was going for w the shoulder pads tbh, i dont draw a folded up scarf like that (i think. i wouldnt now)

also evan & ds at the top, and also kirby for??? some reason?????? whats he doin here

another page had basically nothing relevant i just liked this one

i may actually have been trying to go for a folded scarf oh no

(not sure whats going on in the bottom right either but just focus on silly lumis and also kirby)

evan...... i was limited in my color choice i would not have chosen that yellow naturally

my concept for him was that toxic positivity is basically his religion... plus other things that are BIG spoilers but essentially hes still a dragon master, but here since he has a lot more access to darkness mir kinda morphs into a more twisted looking onyx dragon... he still tries to be, yknow, Mir, but hes ride or die for evan and ride means losing urself at least partially to mass amounts of darkness yknow. i know that has almost nothing to do w the design and thats bc i dont think i put much thought into it beyond cool jacket

also no i have NO clue what i was going for w the fishnets ik i just wanted to put smthn on his legs but why fishnets im just as confused help???????? (EDIT ON SECOND THOUGHT that may have been my attempt at drawing a texture that i... could have made w cross hatching but didnt???? so its not actually fish nets?????? or it might be and im misremembering??????? help)

(also fun cameo of my earliest design for lucid lol)

ok that side profile there has always stood out in my brain and looking at it again i understand why... the Energy.... the wind maybe... where did it come from how did i make that hello???????

idk whats happening in any of the other doodles

yis papa... im aware that one looks jank as hell but i dont think i cared. or it was on purpose???? i Do Not Know. also lmao @ low standards

(I KEEP NOT NOTICING GIANT FUCKING SPOILERS IN IMAGES anyway.)

i think the extent of cygnus's role here was to be the phanaria kid and also eight. that was... it. i will say the her trying on the gloves is adorable and i also like the flower dress!! i can tell why i didnt wanna color that though lmaoooo

idk either

THESE designs though i actually have something to say!!! at least on arans end, merc i mostly just wanted to make more... queen-ly, no comment on how well that went (shes wearing tights its not colored in but i prommy theres tights)

aran though!! i based her armor on the temple of time guardians bc. well thats spoilers but i took notes from that book. i think it was actually in the last post too, that she also has a helmet and when she has it on the ponytail looks like the lil plume of smoke they have n all... yeah

arans closer to the more serious self she was originally since she never lost her memories, not like stone cold (i doubt aran ever was That cold if she naturally turned into a more jovial her) but still more serious.

in the story they have... kind of a fraught relationship, on the same side but for very conflicting reasons and kind of resent each other... but like maybe..... yknow? yknow????? i also just like the energy of this one

maybe ending off on one u have essentially nothing to say abt is passe but hey!! i like the earrings w the chain thing. shes so fashion

maybe one day ill stop saying ill write ssau one day and actually write it lol

#ssau #i dont remember what else i tagged it as last time #do i put it in the maple tag. do i. do i really #and that spoiler really was like. a gigantic spoiler. urgh #im SURE theres other doodles spread across stuff but i really truly do not want to go through everything i have

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calekinnieplus · 2 months

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"The demon king is incredibly powerful...I'm not very confident in my chances against him."

But the white-clothed individual didn't think like that as he said.

"You haven't even faced him, what makes you think you can't face him? You're the strongest in humanity, the first to break through to <SSS>, what makes you think that you can defeat him? Have a little bit of faith in yourself."

"If only things were like that…"

[...]

Suddenly, sensing something, the black-clothed male's body jerked towards the right, and a powerful aura swept out of his body.

"He found me."

[...]

"What exactly are you looking at, and who found you?"

"The time remnant."

[...]

"Sorry, I have to go."

"Hey wai—"

"I have no time now, I don't want it to find you. It's not something you can deal with."

"What are you—"

Before the white-shirted male could finish speaking, the world slowly started to crumble as the darkness started to envelop completely.

Before long, everything disappeared, and what remained was a chilling darkness.

...so we have a lot to unpack here...

These synchronization chapters, damn...

Ok, we have two individuals. The black-clothed one is the first SSS-rank in humanity. But would you look at that? THAT'S NOT CURRENTLY A THING.

So! We are left with time-related elements. The talk of the Akashic records and the time remenant are also hinting in that direction.

Let's look at it from this perspective. The demon king is, in a way, a threat to the Akashic records, yeah? And since it's this powerful collection of... everything, it can put up some countermeasures, albeit not directly kill him.

So we have the system. The goal of which is clearly to defeat the demon king. Kevin has the system. That's one countermeasure.

But where does Ren come in? What does his status as the author amount to? What is his connection to this world. He wrote it, but at the same time... he didn't write everything. This world exists independent of him, especially now.

Also, I'm willing to bet those black-clothed guy and white-shirt guy are Ren and Kevin, respectively. Probably some timey-whimey bullshit.

I mean, come ON, Ren has the seed of limit AND is on his way to BAMF-ness (already a BAMF, but like... you get what I'm saying). AND?? The MC. Makes sense he would be the first SSS-rank.

And with Kevin having the role that he does... yeah, I think that's a pretty safe bet.

It could also be Kevin and Jin, say... OG timeline, like it was in TCF. But meh, this theory doesn't go as hard.

BUT THERE ARE SO MANY VAGUE ELEMENTS HERE!

Counting down, we have:

Ren's transmigration and status as author. I mean... WHAT DOES IT MEAAAAN. Was it also a countermeasure of the Akashic records? But then, what does it mean to be an author? THIS IS THE AUTHOR'S POV, WHAT ARE WE DOING??

Kevin's system. Why are you the only one who has it? How did it choose you? Ren? Ren chose you? Or the Akashic records?

The red book! That mf is one piece of work! Thank you for preventing Jin, Kevin and Ren's death btw. Very cool of you.

But is this red book a manifestation of the time remanant thingy? And what was that shadowy creature in Kevin's bedroom previously doing? Was THAT the time remanant? Infiltrating the book, I guess?

Is the red book a... branch, let's say, of the tree known as the Akashic records?

OH YEAH

TIME TRAVEL!

What was the black clothed guy saying over there? We'll just call him... BCG, yeah. He tried everything? The only solution is to defeat the demon king? This implies several runs of this world. But then... what is the current timeline? Does the reset wipe the memories of the regressors, in this case, Ren and Kevin? And with time, the memories come back step by step? And that's what synchronization is?

Man, it's so complicated. I doubt I'll guess it before it's revealed. Or heavily hinted at, I guess.

It's fun when there's many pieces thrown in our direction, with no hints to what the picture might be.

Future me, pls don't be mad if I was way off base with my guesses ○.○

Ok, onwards!

#vertigone rambles #the author's pov #the author's pov spoilers #binging tapov #binging the author's pov #chapter 370

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perpetual-fool · 3 months

Text

Music?

In my blind writhing I've picked up guitar again. By 'guitar' I mean 'making music generally', entails means 'guitar + singing'. And it's making me feel a little better? which is very strange for a couple reasons.

Mainly, nothing should be making me feel any better. I've tried everything, there's nothing left. I thought. So I don't know what's going on. Speculating, it might feel like putting feelings to music gives it legitimacy. Like, she has a couple songs that sound like they're about what happened, except the events are completely flipped around. Like "..can't bear you to leave.." when she was the one who abandoned me. And the songs feel like hard proof that she's right and good and perfect and I'm lying and wrong and evil and crazy. So having my own as rebuttal would mean I'm not crazy?

But also, this should be extremely triggering. She's the root of this torment and this was very very much her thing. Professional musician, album on spotify, opened for a big famous band once (supposedly). And it's just not? I think, somehow, this never got contaminated. Like pretty much everything is like: I tried picking up card stacking, then when I told someone about it they it was inherently unethical because the national card stacking association supports a known hate group, and it doesn't make any sense but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth about the whole thing. Which is to say, pretty much everything has bad memories attached. And we just never got into it. I tried. I asked about how to go about writing songs or learning to sing and play. But the shit she told me was like "just do it" and "finish what you started". So she never told me anything about it, actually.

If I keep thinking about her the daymares are going to start up again.

So, music and stuff. As a bass, this is actually fairly complicated. The voice is going to be lead melody of course, would sound very strange otherwise. The problem is that the lowest notes are the foundation of the harmony. And with a single instrument or one that blends really well I can do some interesting stuff. Like, you can play a chord on guitar and keep moving the bass note down one fret, and that still sounds good. But with a different instrument it just sounds out of tune. And up in alto range you can sing/play whatever note you want and it'll sound right so long as it's in the same key. But me, if there's a chord happening anywhere in the low end, then I have to be singing one of those notes, else it sounds off. And singing arpeggios as a melody would be very limiting and strange, so what I'll have to do is rapidly change the chord to keep up with the melody.

Here's a video of that being done well: (https://youtu.be/TLvtw4nXou0?si=nQDI0QGqkjRJulKX)

I don't think this instrument is at all appropriate. I can't change chords that fast, even ignoring the screeching. I could maybe play fast and loose with dyads but the instrument really is optimized for fat six-string filler chords. And anything whose range overlaps mine significantly is going to sound very muddy or be very awkward to play around that. So what then? Bass wasn't totally off base, I could directly harmonize with that. Would be awkward. A chord instrument an octave or more above me would work, ukulele or something. I hate how those sound, not my thing. (https://youtu.be/Vqbk9cDX0l0?si=nYme3tApMTzFwSUG) So it seems like my best option is my first love, viola. I can make that work now. Also, my fingers are too fat for guitar, it's really hard to play. I'd be better off with something more like piccolo bass. Though I also don't have monster bass hands a la Justin Chancellor, so I guess I have cello-sized hands? And speaking of, bass would be more suitable for the kind of thing I'd want to play anyway. (https://youtu.be/ke6Qxkel8cU?si=NAM9FFFQ9haj1pYcl)

I want to hear what bass rock-voice sounds like. Like Chester but down an octave.

Anyway, running out of steam and the daymares are coming back. I should try and go to sleep. I don't hurt when I sleep. currently.

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riahlynn101 · 6 months

Text

Dad December - Day Five: "It's the Little Things."

Trigger warnings: blood, canonical character death, childhood trauma, childhood neglect - and for once, the last two aren't because of AFO.

Summary: Unsettled by his mother being gone for the night, Izuku refuses to sleep. This is the least of Hisashi’s worries.

He left his little brother in the safety of some dark alley - where it was safe (and where none of the monsters that wear dark clothing and carry torches can hurt them). It’s thankfully not cold tonight, so all he has to worry about is finding some food for him and his brother.

He toddles down the street. The garbage bag he wears, crinkles with each step. The ground underneath his feet is rocky and uneven, and he has to catch himself more than once.

A group of people in dark clothing and carrying torches pass him. He recognizes the symbol on the side of their helmets as the one that burned down the base where he and his little brother had been staying. His blood runs cold.

He eyes the men, but they’re already leaving.

A thought pops into his head:

“What if they come back for my brother?”

He swallows thickly, raising a tiny, malnourished hand. He can’t have that. His brother is all he has. All he owns. If they take him away, then he’ll have nothing left. And then, who’s to say they won’t also hurt him? It’s not like either of them has anyone to protect them.

The last and only person that cared for them was reduced to burnt flesh and partial ash.

They’re on their own. It’s up to him to keep them safe. But he’s brave. He can do it. He just needs to scare the scary men away. He’s done it before. If he uses the spikes from mama, then he can poke one of them. Just a little poke, nothing big. Barely enough to draw blood.

But when one of them looks at him over their shoulder, his heart skips a beat. His mouth is suddenly dry, and he feels the urge to cry. His hand shakes horribly, and the mild “poke” he wanted to scare the big, scary men with, turns them all into human shish kabobs.

Blood splashes his face.

His limbs ache, being stretched to their limits.

Thick tears roll down his cheeks.

He cries out. Wanting, no, needing someone, anyone to help him.

“It hurts! Help me!”

-x-x-x-

Hisashi cries out, startling awake. It takes him a second to recognize his own bedroom. Though, in his defense, it’s shrouded in near pitch-black darkness. He sighs, running a shaky hand down his face.

As with all his problems nowadays, Hisashi blames All Might for the nightmare. Sure, it happened decades upon decades before the man was born, but it has to be his fault. Somehow.

“Dadda ‘kay?” A small voice asks.

Hisashi glances down right at…..

Memories of just a few hours before creep into his consciousness. Inko left for the night, leaving their one-and-a-half-year-old in his care. He originally put Izuku in his crib, but his son was unsettled by his mother being gone (it being the very first time Inko has left their son for longer than a grocery trip). And he fussed until Hisashi let him sleep in his parents bed.

Nestled against his dad’s chest, Izuku fell asleep quickly. Peaceful and content. Blissfully unaware of all the horrors that transpire outside the doors to their cozy little apartment. Ignorant to the blood stained hands that stroke his fluffy hair and pinch his chubby cheeks.

But now he’s awake, which means Hisashi’s nightmare probably woke him up.

“Daddy’s fine,” he reassures Izuku. “Just a bad dream.”

“Momma?” His son asks, pointing behind Hisashi. “Momma help? Momma kiss it better?”

Hisashi laughs, guiding his son’s head back to the pillows. He soothes back Izuku’s curls - already a birdnest from just a few hours of sleep. “Mommy will be back in the morning, Izuku.”

His brother’s eyes (Hisashi puts the thought of his long-dead twin out of his head) stare up at him, guileless and confused. Izuku tries to sit up, still pointing behind Hisashi, probably near the closet doors. “Momma help!”

“Izuku Midoriya,” Hisashi scolds, pressing his son into the pillows. “Rest time. Sleep.”

His son’s eyes well up with tears. “Momma,” he cries weakly, pointing to something one last time.

“No, mommy tonight. But I’m here, and I’ll keep you safe.”

Izuku pouts, but lays his head near his dad’s. Little eyes flutter closed. His son falls back into peaceful slumber.

Hisashi sighs in relief, brushing the hair out of his son’s eyes.

“Ow!” He pulls his hand away, staring at it. There’s a small, barely noticeable hole that’s leaking blood in one of his hands. He quickly uses a minor healing quirk to sew the injured flesh back together.

What the hell was that?

Hisashi brushes his son’s hair back again, but this time he’s careful not to touch Izuku’s forehead. He examines the area, poking at the skin and then pulling back. There’s a familiar energy thrumming under the babysoft skin. One that Hisashi knows but can’t place.

As if responding to his poking and prodding, soft skin gives way to a small spike. A spike just like….

Hisashi quickly checks his inventory, only to find his mother’s spike quirk gone. What-

Behind him a voice laughs.

His son’s earlier words finally catch up to him. (“Momma kiss it better.” “Momma help.”) He wasn’t talking about Inko….was he? Slowly, Hisashi turns over in bed to see the one person he can truly blame for all the suffering that Yoichi and him had to go through.

He’s used to seeing her in the vestige world, but there’s something about seeing her here-in the sanctity of the home he’s built-that makes her more real.

“What do you want?”

His mother-a lot older-looking than her actual age would have you believe, and still wearing the rags she birthed them in-ignores him. She hums, reaching across Hisashi to caress Izuku’s cheek.

He slaps her hand. “Get away from him,” he grits out, keeping his voice down. The last thing he needs is Izuku seeing this exchange play out.

“Darling little thing, isn’t he?” Her stringy white hair hangs in her face. It reminds him of Yoichi’s hair after locking him in the vault for months on end. Dirty, covered in grease and sweat. “I can’t believe a monster like you made something so precious.” Even though it shouldn’t. Even though Hisashi is much too old to care about his mother’s (the vestige of a mother he never got to meet) opinion. His heart clenches painfully in his chest.

“Go to hell.” He slaps her hand again, using his body to shield Izuku from the ghost of his grandmother.

“You weren’t always a monster,” his mother says, a sad look in her eyes. “Which is so sad, because if you were born a monster then it would make it so easy to hate you.”

Hisashi looks down at his son, making sure that his baby is still asleep. “Leave.”

“But you weren’t. You were born as innocent as this one here.” His mother looks down. She twists her long, thick fingers together. “I only wish for this, my grandson, not to follow in your footsteps.” His mother lifts her head, and Hisashi thinks he sees a tear or two fall from her eyes. “I…I couldn’t protect you. I couldn’t protect your brother either. However, you can protect him. Hold him close. Keep him safe.”

Hisashi, for the first time in over a hundred years, is rendered speechless.

His mother places a gentle hand on his cheek. It’s surprisingly warm, and he finds himself unconsciously leaning into the touch. “It’s the little things, you know. They all add up. Keep being the best parent you can be.”

Her tone turns stern, long nails dig into the flesh of his face. He stares up at his mother. “And, for god sake, Hisashi, baby proof your meta-abilities. Your son seems to have a penchant for accidentally stealing them. I recommend taking them back, and getting in contact with that doctor friend of yours. Maybe he can stop Izuku’s ability from developing any further.” She sighs, releasing Hisashi’s skin. He rubs the area, still stunned to silence. “As much as I love chatting with Izuku-Kun, the power he possesses. The power he inherited from you. Is much too powerful for one so young. It would draw attention.”

“Okay,” Hisashi says, making a mental note to call Doctor Garaki in the morning.

“Good boy,” his mother says, kissing the top of his head. “Also don’t forget to take the spike ability back. I don’t want my grandson accidentally impaling you or my daughter-in-law.”

Hisashi turns back towards his son, clamping his hand to his son’s forehead. Carefully, but quickly to avoid the spikes, he removes the quirk. Beyond a sleepy groan, Izuku hardly reacts at all.

When he turns back to his mother. She’s gone.

Hisashi cuddles with his son but finds he can’t fall back asleep.

This is going to be a long night.

He looks down at his son’s angelic face. At least he isn’t alone.

#daddecember2023 #daddecember #no.5 #it's the little things #mha hisashi #implied afo x inko #all for one izuku #all for one mha #tw blood #tw childhood neglect #tw childhood trauma #tw abandonment

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kreture-komforts · 7 months

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I need to start doing more regular check-ins with myself (since I’m still struggling to find a competent therapist 🤦🏽‍♀️)

And, honestly, I started this blog specifically so I would have a place to post where nobody that knows me follows me. Turns out, I haven’t been being honest with myself about how I feel for a very long time, and have always put others’ thoughts and feelings over my own.

I’ve tried desperately to keep up an image of Not Giving A Shit combined with Never Stop Fighting, and I’m finally trying to come to terms with the fact that I’ve been slowly burning out over the last few years. I’ve been readily and steadily stretching myself thin to try and please everyone around me and “Do The Right Thing” (as defined by the twisted standards adolescent Zara tried to develop with limited guidance in toxic environments) and it’s simply unsustainable.

I’ve never felt comfortable talking about myself, but it feels like all I do is talk about myself, so therefore I’m always uncomfortable. I’m scared of becoming as self-centered and narcissistic as my abusive parents, especially because I didn’t even recognize the abuse for what it was until this year. I’m worried that I’ve been A Problem and A Nuisance in a lot of ways throughout my whole life without ever seeing it or taking accountability for it, and I’m really frustrated that there’s nothing I can do to change that.

So many of the memories from the first twenty years of my life are blurry or straight up repressed, and coming to this realization has made me start to question everything I know and understand about life. I feel like my brain is a Jenga tower that was built with gaps in it, and the table just got shoved by the person who started the game in the first place; the base is still intact, but the players that are left are just trying to find the pieces that went tumbling off the table.

(Side note, therapy Jenga would be quite the exercise and I will be trying it out)

Idk, maybe it was the three acid tabs I did last night, but I really need to make a fucking change for myself and get some help. I could write about my feelings for days on end, but that won’t necessarily make anything easier. I’m glad to have taken the time to write out how I’m doing, but it’s nearly 4am and I’ve got So Much to do over the next few days, and I really should have called it quits hours ago. Hopefully, if I start doing this more often, I’ll be able to more succinctly articulate how I’m doing so I don’t feel like I’m writing a book about myself. Honestly, I’m hoping with practice I’ll find a more list-like format for check-ins that I can use as reference for therapy sessions.

God, I’m so tired. I need some goddamn relief.

#zk speaks #>trip tag #>therapy

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vinnybox · 2 years

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Do you like Danny Phantom?

If so, I wanna know what you think would happen if the Batfam adopted Danny in a Talon Dick au where Dick has wings. (I want this specific au crossover for some reason.) Any headcannons for if that was the situation?

DANNY PHANTOM BELOVED <3 Used to watch that when I was a wee kid

I hadn't seen the show in forever and I don't remember much anymore .·´¯`(>▂<)´¯`·. I've seen a lot of fics with the crossover but I hadn't read any of them yet. The concept is COOL tho n I'd love to see if I can explore it one day!

at the moment I don't think I can offer much since my memory of the show is very fuzzy. If Danny were to be adopted tho, I think the gaggle of brothers are gonna get even more chaotic, especially with one who has ghostly powers that shoot beams and can turn invisible and do a whole bunch more.

Maybe I DO have a few headcanons of things in mind based on my... VERY limited knowledge for both Danny Phantom and Batfam 👉👈 Im doing this purely out of “What if?” and “This would be funny” mindset hGDSHD

Headcanons undercut!

Another son/brother with the ability to turn invisible? Cue the family getting startled when Danny and Dick suddenly appear out of nowhere. More sneaky stealthy brothers. Im sure all the batfam does this, but Danny and Dick probably do it more often than the others, keeping scores of who could sneak up on who the most.

Danny using his cryokinesis (if I remembered correctly that he had this power) to prank his brothers like pelting snowballs at them or making his hands cold and touching the back of their neck (I do that with my friends cause our university is fucking COLD and my hand just absorbs cold a little too well). Danny did it once with Dick but then never did it again after Dick had a bit of a bad reaction since it reminded him of the time back in the court when they put him in the coffin or put him to sleep by freezing him. (I think at some point Dick WILL eventually recover enough to not have as bad of a reaction to the cold after a few years or something. I want my hurt then going to path of recovery thing 😭)

Danny tries to sneak up on Dick as a ghost and even while invisible, Dick almost always can tell where Danny is. It's like the cat staring at the wall kind of thing.

Jason: Goldie, what are you looking at? Dick: [Staring at one corner of the wall] Jason: Dick: Dick: Danny [silence] Danny, turning visible: uGH- how do you always know??

Even funnier is the reason Dick always seems to know where Danny is is because he'd just choose to stare at a random corner or part of the room where he thinks Danny is and if he stared long enough Danny just gets too awkward that he eventually reveals himself from Dick's literal unblinking stare. So Dick sometimes DONT actually know where Danny is half the time, he just stares at a part of the room and hopes he's right or close. OR he'd just be doing something and randomly calls out Danny's name, to which the chance of Danny ALSO being in the room is almost a 100%. Danny don't need to know that tho.

Tim also does the name callout thing too and Danny just assumes that Tim and Dick just KNOWS where he is. Bruce probably does this too but he likes to pretend he doesn't know where Danny is until Danny comes out to surprise him. Which, isn't much to be honest HDSGHD

Danny sneaking up on Bruce

Bruce: Danny? Danny, appearing: Boo! Bruce, not even startled: Oh! There you are Danny: You already knew Im here, don't you? And Bruce just laughs and confirms that yes he did know Danny is here.

Its hard to sneak up on the batfam I'd say, even with ghost powers, but on some occasion I think Danny could actually catch them off guard. Cass is impossible to sneak up on tho. (I'd like to touch up on the other's relationship in the batfam as well, just need to learn more about them)

Just like any members of the batfam, he receives Winged hugs, and Danny learns to help preen feathers. Its fun but oh my god there’s so MUCH. But I also think he’d absolutely get slap in the face with Dick’s wings if Dick isn’t careful. Other members of the family has had plenty of experience, trust them.

Cue moments where three brothers (Dick, Jason and Danny) are in the kitchen at 3 am and someone walks in on them and almost had a heart attack at 3 glowing pair of eyes.

#Batfam #Talon!Dick #Dick Grayson #Jason Todd #danny phantom #ask #ask vinny #Headcanon #long answer #DC ask #anon #anonymous #I cant believe Ive NEVER drawn Danny before #despite being a fan of the show #I LOVED the show #maybe I should rewatch it some time

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itaitaita-ita · 3 years

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MY OPINION ON NETFLIX’S “MAYA AND THE THREE”

OKEY! so for starters (i know that nobody asked for this) Hi everyone, my name is Mari and i’m a mexican girl with native roots so english is not my first language and i apologize in advance for any mistakes.

Lets start off with the overall: Its beautifully animated, it’s refreshing to see this type of stories and characters back on TV. The plot of the story is very interesting and hooking for the viewers, the characters designs overall are good (but i have somethings I want to point out, especially in the female designs). I really enjoyed the ‘Lucha Libre’ vibes that they gave out by presenting the opponents with a banner of their name.

Now, to the more specifics: the good and the bad.

THE GOOD:

Good interesting plot, gives me the vibes that it would make a good video game xd.

The representation of different features and skin tones is amazing!

The designs of the gods were my favorite.

The character development of Maya and how they portrayed the essence of each character despite having limited amount of episodes.

The accurate historical aspects and small details about their view on natural situations ( albinism, eclipses, etc ).

Lady MICTLEEE (mommy.. sorry- mommy? sorry-)

The spanish dub and the local phrases and jokes they use were incredible to see! specially the alburs here and there!

I liked the different Latin American accents each region had and the different cultures that were shown.

I think it was fun the correlation they created with the sun and the moon.

The backstories of the characters were amazing (and SUPER SAD WTF).

Despite not being a huge Zatz fan, i’m a sucker for enemies to lovers romance, so I really liked the trope.

The attention to details was GODLY i was so in love with it throughout the whole series.

THE BAD:

The female character designs ( focusing more on their physique) were a bit weird to me? the main female characters were either SUPER THICC: mini mini waist, gigantic hips, or like tall and skinny. (Except for the queen of the mages sorry if i’m not translating the names exactly, i know them in spanish only , which is also a bit backhanded since she’s supposed to be this annoying and immature ruler). Here’s what i mean:

The design of the clothes, makeup, hair and accessories is AMAZING. but.. the body types were a bit unsettling to watch, especially because the men have a wider range of physical designs and are overall more creative with their physique. also why were only male characters allowed to have big noses while all the female ones had itty bitty ones? Some examples:

ACAT ‼️ A C A T !!! I cannot expres enough how badly she was treated. She was only there for Zatz’s character (the female supporting role that enlarges the male one). She literally appeared, tried to kill Maya because Zatz “liked” her, gor dumped and 2 mins after she got killed. like. wtf. The crazy ex girlfriend trope (ew).

I was not a super big fan of how the concepts of ‘Good and Evil’ were pushed into the deities. There weren’t truly any ‘Evil’ gods, even if they represented war, or ruled the Mictlan. Its very characteristic of the Mesoamerican deities to not be good or evil (they weren’t even gods, but that’s for another post)— but i understand that view was needed to have a story and a plot and the whole Lucha Libre boss fights they had. So i’m willing to put it aside but it still should be mentioned.

The different regions were based in different mesoamerican groups and yet they were all ruled by aztec gods? just like the last point, i understand it simplifies things but i understand why people who aren’t mexican are a bit upset by this, since they are their own culture with their rich mythology.

I probably have more things to say buuut i have a terrible memory. Overall it’s really worth it and fun! and it’s refreshing to see this type of characters and cultures being portrayed like that. If you don’t agree with any of my points just be respectful about it, and remember this is my point of view and it’s not the only valid one :) !

#maya and the three #maya and the 3 #book of life #jorge gutierrez #messy icons #artwork #drawing #sketch #digital art #artists on tumblr #art #characterillustration #character design

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captains-simp · 3 years

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hi! can you write a yelena x fem!reader based on best friend’s brother by victorious where reader is nat’s best friend but falls for yelena?

I love the best friend's sibling trope🤧 Yes, I used Google translate for some parts. Yes, I am sorry in advance

7k words

Warnings: brief injury description and R getting tipsy (and having less of a filter than usual 👀)

[ masterlist ]

Buy me a coffee ☕

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Nat you're not going to believe what I just saw! It has single handedly made my week- whoa!" You exclaimed as you threw your hands up and backed against the nearest wall.

"Who are you?" Demanded the blonde from the other end of her gun. You glanced frantically between her hand gun and her stone cold grey eyes, not knowing which you should be more afraid of.

"Y/n." You answered shakily, your mouth and throat suddenly feeling like sandpaper.

"Yelena!" Natasha shouted as she came into the living room. "Put your gun down you сумасшедшая сука (crazy bitch)!" Yelena hesitated as she gave you the once over and slowly lowered her weapon. You didn't fail to notice how she kept it in her hands until Natasha snatched it away.

"Hey!" She argued and tried to grab it back.

"You get gun privileges back when you stop pointing them at my friends." Natasha said as she put it in the safe under the kitchen counter.

"She didn't knock!" Yelena defended with a thick accent.

You were still stood awkwardly against the wall as you watched the interaction. You had no idea who the blonde was much less why she had acted like a paranoid guard dog. Not that you were offended, being friends with someone who had a lot of protective friends and coworkers meant this had happened more than you wanted to admit. JARVIS actually had some very over the top weapons pointed at you twice.

"I don't knock when I go to her place." Natasha pointed out. You smiled nervously at the blonde when she looked over at you again.

"Well as your new roommate it seems like something I should know."

New roommate? Natasha hated the idea of a roommate and had always been very vocal about it. It was why she insisted on having her own apartment rather than living in at the Avengers compound.

You glanced around and couldn't see any moving boxes or suitcases or really anything that indicated anyone else was living there. Either Yelena had already packed or she just wanted to keep all her personal things to herself.

"Temporary roommate." Natasha corrected making the blonde huff. "Who still hasn't gotten the groceries." Yelena mumbled something under her breath in Russian as she trudged towards the door. She glanced your way once then looked back as if second guessing you. She narrowed her eyes slightly and you fidgeted on the spot, feeling nervous under her gaze.

"What did you see?" She asked.

"I'm sorry?" You replied, not knowing where the question came from.

"What did you want to tell Natasha about." You stared at her blankly for a second before you suddenly realised what she meant.

"Oh! I saw a man walking seven ferrets." You said with a fond smile as you remembered the way their leads were getting caught up as the scrambled over each other. Yelena stared back at you. "Seven is a lot." You said. She still didn't seem to get it. "I like ferrets." You mumbled as you felt embarrassed.

She didn't say anything as she looked you over one more time and opened the door to leave, shutting it firmly behind her. You released a breath you didn't know you had been holding once the door clicked shut.

"Seven?" Natasha teased with a smirk as put some toast in the toaster. You grumbled as you walked over to the kitchen island and leant against it.

"She's intense." You commented and whipped your head around to the door, afraid she would walk back in.

"She's my sister." Natasha said casually.

"Sister? What?! Since when did you- Sister?!" Natasha chuckled at your reaction and shrugged simply.

"It's complicated."

"Everything with you is." You fired back. "Look I'll tell you our life story later." She waved off. You had known Natasha for years and considered each other your closest friends. You told her everything but you understood early on that there was a lot about her life she couldn't talk about. Whether it was because it could endanger you to know or it was simply to painful to recall, there would always be something.

"And I'm sorry about her wanting to shoot you. She's a lot." Natasha sighed, clearly tired. She had been away for months and you guessed she had found Yelena at some point during that mission. She had only been back a week and clearly needed a break. You wondered if she would finally take Fury up on his promise of a vacation.

"She's just protective." You shrugged. "Like someone else I know." You eyed the redhead with a smile. Yelena honestly seemed nothing short of terrifying to you, but you weren't going to admit that to your friend who would remind you of it every chance she got.

"Trust you to defend someone who put a gun on you." Natasha rolled her eyes and pushed a hot drink towards you.

"She seems nice." That wasn't the right word and given the look Natasha gave you she agreed. "Witty?" You tried. Natasha pulled a face in disagreement and you sighed in defeat. "Whatever, she's cute though." You thought aloud. Natasha shot you a warning look.

"Don't go crushing on my sister, y/n." She said with a serious edge to her tone. You laughed at her sudden shift and fell down on her sofa to grab the remote to start binging the shows Natasha had missed with you.

"I wouldn't dream of it."

It was a Friday night when you saw the blonde next. The bar you worked at was surprisingly quiet for the day but you didn't mind at all. Less people meant less chance of having to deal with a drunken fight. Not that that ever really happened there.

You worked in a small bar that had been running since long before you were born. It wasn't the most out there establishment and combined with it's location on the quieter, arguably more sketchy, parts of the city, it wasn't massively popular. In fact, everyone who showed up at the bar you recognised instantly, lest the rare groups of people who stumbled upon the building. No one who went there was all that talkative, but you had come to know each of them over the years.

It wasn't that the bar itself was sketchy. It wasn't involved in illegal gambling or drug dealings. It was just that it seemed to remind people of home. You had alcohols there that you just couldn't find in shops or other bars. Behind the bar was everything from Mexico's brightest palomas to Russia's strongest vodka. The latter was what had drawn Natasha to your worn down place of work the first time you met her. While she didn't like to be reminded of her past in Russia, like a couple other customers you had, she couldn't deny she missed the booze. So you guessed you shouldn't have been surprised to see Yelena joining her that night.

"Just give it a chance will you." Natasha scolded her younger sister in a hushed voice. You smiled at the encounter as the pair came towards the bar. Everything the redhead had been able to tell you about her time away was evident from the way the siblings interacted. It really hadn't taken them long to fall back into the squabbling sisters role, like they hadn't ever been apart.

Yelena grumbled something in Russian as she glanced around the bar, her eyes soon landing on yours and just as unreadable as the last time you saw her. The memory had been playing a lot in your head.

"Hi again." You smiled at her before turning your attention to your friend. "The usual?"

"For this one too." Natasha nodded to her sister as she sat down on a stall, soon followed by Yelena.

You took two shot glasses from the shelf and put them infront of the sisters and opened a bottle of Natasha's favourite bottle. You filled the both to the brim and put the bottle on the counter, knowing the redhead wanted it there. Natasha wasn't really a regular drinker, but when she did enduldge herself she didn't seem to have a limit. You had never once seen her drunk.

Natasha didn't hesitate in tilting her head back with the glass at her lips and didn't flinch when she swallowed the drink. Yelena rolled her eyes but copied anyway.

You carried on with drying some glasses and tried not to pay close attention to the blonde's reaction. You always loved the moment that customers realised they had found the drinks of their country. And as Yelena was harder to read, it took extra attention to detail to spot the moment of realisation. Natasha was watching for it too.

Yelena shrugged. She shrugged, clearly underwhelmed. "It's good." She commented. Natasha sighed dramatically and poured herself another shot as she grumbled about never being able to please her sister.

You went back to your duties properly and shook your head with a sigh. First time for everything. However when you risked a glanced at Yelena you saw a hint of a smile tug at the corner of her lips. You grinned to yourself, deciding then that you were determined to see a proper smile from the blonde at some point.

"What's got you smiling?" Natasha asked with a smirk.

"Am I not allowed to just smile, Tasha?" You quipped back.

"I take it your date went well." You groaned at the mention of the event.

"It actually really didn't." You huffed. It was actually one of the worst dates you had ever been on. You had been giggling like a school girl when Natasha told you a shield agent had eyes for you. The two of you exchanged numbers and arranged a date but it became clear to you pretty quickly she wasn't as ready to date again as she thought she was. "She's definitely not over her ex." She grimaced. Natasha hummed in thought.

"Okay, but do you want me to key her car?"

"She paid for my coffee!" You laughed, she always had to be dramatic with her protectiveness.

"Is that a no then?" Yelena asked. You honestly had no idea if she was joking or not.

"It's a no." You confirmed with a smile.

"I'm sure I can find you someone else." Natasha said confidently. You hummed in response and watched her pour another pair of shots.

"That's okay, Tasha. Maybe you should focus on yourself and a certain other redhead." You grinned. Natasha shot daggers at you as Yelena whipped her head around to stare at her sister.

"You have a boy..." She paused and scanned her sister quickly. "Girlfriend?" She concluded. You snickered and poured a drink for another customer, focusing on him momentarily as the pair bickered further.

"There is nothing going on with me and Wanda!" Natasha exclaimed.

"The magic one?" Yelena asked with interest.

"The magic one." You confirmed with a grin.

"What's she like?" The blonde continued as she leaned forward.

"She's better than you Сволоч (jerks)." Natasha mumbled as she rolled her eyes.

"And a total babe." You added and leapt back when the redhead went to hit you.

"Y/n!" You spun around at hearing a familiar voice. Joseph, your oldest regular, was making his way through the room towards the end of the bar, a fond smile etched into the deep lines on his face.

"Hey, pal." You smiled back and went to prepare his usual as he started to chat away at you.

"You never had anything with her?" Yelena asked boldly as she tilted her glass towards you.

"Y/n?" Natasha was surprised to say the least. She had never thought of you that way and no one else had ever asked about it. "No." She chuckled, thinking of all the times you had done everything in your power just to get her and Wanda alone in a room together. "Why'd you ask?"

"I just wondered." She said as she tapped her glass in thought, grey eyes watched you actively engage in conversation with the older man. Natasha narrowed her eyes at her sister.

"Right. Just don't crush on my best friend." She warned as she poured her sister another shot.

"You got it." She nodded and threw her head back as she downed the shot.

You ended up seeing Yelena quite frequently. Not only did she join Natasha in coming to the bar, but she seemed to always be there when you visited your friend too. She wasn't much of a small talker, you learned that quickly, but the passing moments you happened to be alone in each others company stopped being awkward quickly.

Yelena was surprisingly easy to get along with. Once you had found a common ground of interest (making fun of Natasha) you could easily carry a conversation with her, but she was still closed off - something you were expecting given her past. There was one evening that made that as clear as it could be.

"I'm just saying the Avengers would be very happy to have you!" Natasha exclaimed with a smile as you sat giggling next to her.

"I'm not going to be a hero." Yelena waved off. She had quickly began agitated when she had nothing to do. There had always been something. Some mission. Some test. Some important training. Anything. And now she was free from the Red Room Yelena was struggling to know what she could do. You could tell she wanted to have a meaningful role, you just doubted she was going to admit that.

"There's always bounty hunting." You suggested as you flicked through the thin file in your lap. Sometimes when Natasha was struggling with a particular case file she gave it to you for a new insight. You never got a name or any big details in the files and it still wasn't entirely within the rules, but sometimes you actually helped.

"He bled to death from the stabbing, then he was shot." You muttered to the redhead as you passed the file back. Turns out being a drop out med student was good for something. While Natasha was the best of the best, she was still human and there were things even she overlooked from time to time that you picked up on.

"That's a good one." Yelena agreed as she sipped on her beer, pondering the suggestion.

"But why even go for something like this at all?" You said. Natasha and Yelena gave you a confused glance.

"I'm sticking to what I'm good at." The blonde said slowly.

"I'm sure you're skill set expands beyond all...this." You waved your arms around aimlessly. "Was there anything you remember enjoying before?" You asked curiously and Yelena instantly stiffened.

"No." She said bluntly and put her bottle down on the table. "Bounty hunting sounds good, I'll look in to it." She said as she left the living room area and headed towards her room without a second glance.

Your throat felt dry suddenly as guilt washed over you. What kind of a question even was that? She was only a kid when it happened, part of you wondered if she even remembered the part of her life before the Red Room.

"She's okay." Natasha assured, as though reading your mind.

"I shouldn't have asked." You muttered.

"Probably not, but for what it's worth" Natasha started as she went to put the shield file away "I thought you were onto something."

So you never asked about her past again, but that didn't stop you from thinking about it. You wondered if it was something she and Natasha talked about, only able to confide in one another about the nightmares they shared. Or was it an unspoken thing, something that they kept in the deepest darkest parts of their minds? You didn't expect to ever get an answer to that question.

Not so deadly assassin: THERE'S A FUCKING RAT IN MY ROOM

Not so deadly assassin: come deal with it!!!

Not so deadly assassin: Y/N

Not so deadly assassin: oh NOW you have a life

Not so deadly assassin: if you don't come over in 5 minutes I'm killing it

You huffed as you took your phone out of your pocket to see who had been blowing up your phone. You skimmed over Natasha's messages and sent a quick threat telling her if she ended the rat's life you would end hers and sped up your walk.

Luckily you were only a few minutes away from Natasha's apartment and after running up the stairs a few at a time you knocked on your friend's door and licked your partly spilt drink off your hand with a curse.

Yelena opened the door and motioned for you to come inside, seeming unfazed by your arrival and no doubt knowing why you were there. "Is she okay?" You asked as you looked around frantically.

"She just got called away for a mission." Yelena said as she led you through the apartment to Natasha's room.

"I meant the rat." You mumbled and spotted it in the corner. Yelena snickered at your comment and leant against the door frame as she watched you slowly approach the rodent.

"How did it even get in here?" You asked as you cooed and held your hand out to the rat that considered you curiously.

"Came in through the window apparently. I think Natasha wants to tear down the fire escape now." Yelena deadpanned.

"Like either of you need it anyway." The rat came closer to you and sniffed your hand before walking onto it. You picked up the small creature and placed her down gently on the fire escape before shutting the window.

"Was that so hard?" You said with a smile.

"They carry disease, you know?" Yelena fired back.

"So do we!" You exclaimed and paused when Yelena gave you a side eye. "Okay some of us." You corrected as you washed your hands.

"I hope she didn't call you away from anything important." Yelena said as she glanced at the hot drink you had left on the counter.

"I was just about to go to the pharmacy." You shrugged.

"It's your lucky day, I need band aids." Yelena declared as she picked up her satchel bag.

"Band...aids?" You questioned with a shit eating grin as you grabbed your drink and headed for the door with the blonde behind you.

"Yes, y/n. I need band aids. You're as bad as Natasha, she doesn't seem to think we need them either. We have everything in that bathroom except band aids!" You giggled as you watched her ramble in exasperation, finding it undeniably cute when she got lost in her own world about something.

"So if you're bleeding to death you'll be fine but if you get a papercut then things are gonna get bad?" You teased as you left the building. Yelena rolled her eyes at you but seemed to not be able to stop the small smile fighting for it's appearance, tugging at the corner of her mouth.

"It's a pretty big papercut." She mumbled as she inspected the cut on her forefinger.

"Well I think you're very brave." You grinned.

You walked in a comfortable silence for a while until your eyes landed on something that spiked every happy hormone in your body. "Yelena!" You grabbed at her arm and pointed across the street. The blonde was understandably alarmed at first and you noticed her reach into her back pocket for something until she saw what you were pointing at.

"Seven ferrets." Yelena muttered as she watched the small animals half run down the street infront of their owner.

"Seven adorable ferrets." You corrected as you watched them continue to scurry along.

"I can see how that could be the highlight of your week." Yelena recalled and you couldn't help but blush slightly. "I think this is the highlight of mine." She admitted.

"You're only human." You sighed as you turned around to keep walking, a content smile on your lips.

"Why don't you have pets if they make you so happy?" Yelena asked curiously.

"Not allowed in my apartment." You said gloomily. It was probably for the best, you would have a lot of pets if you could, too many to handle.

"If you think about it, rats are just small ferrets and you see those everyday. You could go find some more." Yelena teased and you chuckled.

"Haven't you heard? They carry disease." It was Yelena's turn to laugh lightly at that. You smiled proudly at causing the beautiful sound and felt your stomach do a small flip.

It turned out all the Avengers were keen to have Yelena on their team. Tony and Steve had introduced themselves to the new Russian one evening and bored (Yelena's words) her with stories of their latest successful missions and how great it was to be an Avenger. She didn't buy it.

Then she started getting emails and texts from the team, inviting her to different events and trying to get on her good side. Tony had even sent an extravagant gift basket to the apartment one day. Yelena had asked you to spend the afternoon sorting through it with her, snacking on all the expensive chocolates on the way as you told the blonde you thought she had a secret admirer.

It was early in the afternoon when she finally agreed to meeting the whole team.

"I just think it could be fun. I know they probably seem like annoying children right now, but at those parties they have to behave." You said into the phone as you balanced it on your shoulder.

"I don't think I own the right kind of clothing for it." Yelena said.

"I'm sure Natasha can lend you something, she is your big sister after all." You teased and heard her groan.

"You don't even have to stay long. But once you actually meet them they'll lay off about you joining if you still don't want to."

"It's just not-"

"Your thing." You finished with a smile. "I know, Lena. They'll get it." She hummed in thought and a silence fell over your phones until you cursed. "Shit." You muttered when the table leg fell down again.

"You need help putting that table together?" Yelena asked for the umpteenth time. You sighed as you sat back and glared at the parts sprawled out across the floor.

"Yes please."

Yelena Belova wearing a suit was something else entirely. Every outfit her sister offered her she turned down until Natasha grew frustrated and took Yelena out for a suit fitting, and god it paid off. The blazer hugged her body closely in a way you partly wished you could feel. You knew the blonde wasn't big on any form of affection, especially physical, but you loved it and Yelena had become a good friend. During late evenings when she was sitting comfortably in an armchair with a large hoodie on you thought she looked so soft and warm. You could only imagine how safe you would feel in her arms. You always had to put those thoughts aside quickly, not wanting to let your mind linger on things so intimate.

"Told you this place isn't so bad." You laughed nervously as Yelena approached you. She smiled and shook her head, her eyes looking so much brighter in the new lighting.

"I can't argue with that." The blonde shrugged and followed you to the bar.

"You um, you look amazing by the way." You said as she avoided Yelena's gaze, not wanting to let your eyes wander the way they were straining to. Unfortunately that meant you missed how she took in your attire and the admiration she struggled to hide.

"So do you." She smiled.

"Evening." Natasha said with a smirk as she came up to you and Yelena from the other side of the bar.

"This does not feel right at all." You winced making the redhead smile, more so when she prepared what she knew was your favourite drink.

"Yelena! You running away from me?" Sam grinned as he strolled towards the bar. You smiled into your drink when you saw the blonde shift on her feet in slight frustration.

"You gotta come meet Maria, you're gonna love her!" He exclaimed as he tried to steer Yelena away. She looked back at you with a face that was clearly asking for help but you just giggled as she left and waved goodbye to her.

"Has she met Wanda yet?" You grinned at Natasha knowingly and a slight blush appeared on her cheeks.

"She has." You hummed and looked across the room to spot the Sokovian in question. "And?"

"And they only just stopped talking when you arrived." You nodded with a triumphant smile, knowing the pair would get along. You missed Natasha's short analysis of your expression, trying to find the thing she knew you were hiding until someone else arrived at the other end of the bar and she rushed off.

You leaned over the bar to pour yourself another drink and started across the room. It didn't take long at all to find Wanda, or rather for her to find you.

"Y/n!" She exclaimed as she pulled you in for a crushing hug barely a second after you had turned around.

"Hey Wan." You laughed as you tried to hug her back.

"How are you, sweetie?" She asked as she let you go.

"I'm good, how have things been for you?" It had been far too long since you had seen the Sokovian and you missed her company a lot. She had such a calming presence that you always felt so comfortable around. You had told her that once, not knowing the fears she faced of her powers and the mistrust she had in herself, and she had teared up as she pulled you in for your first Wanda hug.

"So, I hear you met Yelena." You smiled after a while of catching up with the redhead.

"I was slightly terrified of her at first." She admitted with a laugh.

"She had a gun on me when we met!" You exclaimed as you remembered it clearly.

"So I heard." Wanda teased. "I also hear you guys are getting on like a house on fire." She continued as she watched you carefully.

"Yeah." You muttered as you spotted her talking to Maria. "She's pretty great." You said easily.

You spent a while catching up with various team members between drinks. You kept steeling glances at Yelena, mostly catching her in conversations she clearly didn't want to be in but a few times you caught her eye and paused to smile at her. She was always beautiful but you really couldn't get over how she looked in the navy suit.

You were sat by the bar when the party started to come to an end. You usually would have left a while ago but you wanted to be able to say goodbye to Yelena before you did.

"I'm exhausted." Came the familiar husky voice from behind you. Yelena leaned on the bar next to you and poured herself a vodka and downed the shot.

"Me too!" You said loudly with a slight slur. Yelena paused before letting a smile creep onto her lips as she watched you with an amused glint in her eyes.

"How much have you had to drink?" Yelena asked as she took your glass away from you.

"A few." You thought as you tried to calculate in your head but just shrugged in conclusion.

"легкий (lightweight)." The Russian muttered.

"Hey, come over here." Natasha called as she rounded a corner and spotted you and her sister. "We're putting a film on." She declared. You glanced around and noticed that everyone had gone. When did that happen?

"Let's go, Lena!" You called as you took her by the hand and led her through to where Natasha had gone.

"Are you sure?" She questioned as she looked down at your entwined hands.

"Absolutely!" You jumped up a few steps and saw the group sitting around the large TV on the comfy sofas.

"I missed these." You said to Yelena as you fell down onto the nearest sofa and pulled her down next to you. Natasha placed some snacks down on the table and eyed your joined hands without a comment.

You brought your legs up underneath you, not unlocking your fingers when the blonde's who didn't seem to mind. The other Avengers didn't seem to take much notice or interest in how close you were to Yelena and thanks to your slightly tipsy state you didn't bring much attention to it either. All you knew was that you felt comfortable sitting so close to the Russian that your bare arm was touching her soft blazer.

"Your hands are really soft." You whispered to her. She smiled to herself and tried to fight off the slight blush painting her cheeks that you, lucky for Yelena, didn't notice.

"So are yours." She whispered back.

What you didn't realise was that Natasha was still paying close attention to you both with Wanda smiling knowingly besides her, even when the film started and the lights dimmed. She finally stopped when she heard Wanda laugh lightly at something on screen, turning her attention to the girl besides her and then the film.

Barely 10 minutes in you found yourself growing sleepy. The dark room and the warmth of Yelena were certainly part of the cause but you found you really didn't mind, especially when your head fell onto Yelena's shoulder and she didn't shake you off.

Your eyes struggled to focus on the screen and really anything that wasn't the blonde when she shifted on the sofa to let you lean back against her. You smiled faintly as you let your eyes close and relax against Yelena, your hand still in hers.

You awoke when the main lights started to come back on and you felt Yelena stretch behind you. Her blazer was draped across your front and you smiled like an idiot when you realised. She had only worn it for a few hours and it already smelt like her.

"Hey." She husked and you felt a chill run through your body when her breath hit your neck.

"Hey yourself." You grinned back.

"Come on, let's get you home." She said as she sat up on the sofa.

"Can you get me a cab?" You asked as you rubbed your eyes.

"I'll drive you." Yelena stood up and held out her hand to help you up too. You took it happily and leaned against her for support for a moment.

You said goodbye to the team and made your way slowly out of the living area and eventually out the building in a concentrated silence. Concentrated for you, Yelena didn't have any issue putting one foot infront of the other.

"You guys okay getting home?" Natasha called from the entrance as Yelena helped you into her car. You gave Natasha two thumbs up and grinned her way as Yelena nodded. The redhead nodded back and folded her arms as she watched you carefully leave the building site.

It wasn't that long a drive to your apartment. Yelena drove in silence while you hummed along faintly to a song playing quietly on the radio, unaware of the smile playing on the blonde's lips.

When Yelena had parked outside your apartment complex she helped you out the car and up to your apartment, unlocking the door for you and guiding you through to your room where she lay you on the bed gently.

"You should change." Yelena said as she got some of your night clothes from the closet and went into the kitchen to get you a glass of water.

"You should stay." You grinned at her. She arched a brow at you in question but you didn't respond, only turning around on the bed. "Can you help me with my zipper?"

Yelena nodded and put the glass of water down on your bedside table and pulled the zipper down, trying to ignore the urge to see if the skin on your back was as smooth as it looked. She cleared her throat when she realised the zipper went lower than she thought, reaching your tailbone. Yelena took a step back and turned towards the opposite wall as she heard you step out of the dress and into your bed clothes.

"You should take some too." You said when you pulled the duvet back.

"You really want me to stay?" Yelena questioned, it looked like you were starting to sober up.

"Of course!" You grinned as you leaned on your elbows to watch her and patted the space in bed besides you.

"Okay." She smiled and got some clothes from your closet that she quickly changed into when you looked away to drink the water she had given you.

Yelena folded her suit on a chair in the corner of the room before hesitantly getting into the warm bed besides you. But she surprisingly felt a lot more at ease when you draped an arm over her stomach as you closed your eyes. Yelena sighed lightly at the contact. She never thought she was one for physical contact, but she had been wondering what it would be like to receive it from you for a while. Even craved it after you had held her hand earlier that night.

"Night Lena" You mumbled sleepily. Yelena put her hand on your waist to pull you closer to her and brushed a stray strand of hair away from you face.

"Good night y/n."

Despite the killer headache that greeted you, you actually woke up feeling pretty great. Your bed was warmer than usual and you didn't feel quite as alone as you always did in the large bed.

You rubbed your eyes and groaned but froze when you felt a hand on your bare waist where your shirt had ridden up. Yelena was sleeping soundlessly besides you and your breath caught in your throat when you took in her appearance. The sunlight seeping into the bedroom hit her face just right and you had to remind yourself not to stare, even if she wasn't awake to notice it.

You spotted a bottle of advil on the bedside table and a fresh glass of water that you took together. You tried to be careful not to wake Yelena but she started to move when you did, her soft hand slipping from your waist.

"Morning." You said after finishing the glass of water and wiping your mouth with the back of your wrist. Yelena groaned as she stretched out like a cat and looked up at you.

"Morning to you too." She smiled and you wondered if she knew she had her hand on your waist just a few seconds prior.

"Feel free to take a shower and borrow some of my clothes." You offered as you stood up from the bed and made your way across the room.

"Thanks." She hummed quietly. "Hey." You turned around by the door when she called you. "How did you sleep?" She asked curiously as she sat up to face you properly.

"Like a rock." You recalled happily. "You?"

"Yeah," Yelena smiled back, "pretty great." You nodded and made your way to kitchen as Yelena got out of bed with a content smile.

Yelena was in the shower when you started on breakfast. Usually you would have made something simple like toast or some fruit but you figured as you had a guest you should make something better and settled on pancakes. You also wanted to thank her for staying the night with you.

"That smells amazing." Yelena said with wide eyes as she trudged into the kitchen, still drying her hair. Your heart swelled at the sight of the blonde in one of your band shirts with some loose shorts. Your thought that your clothes probably looked better on her and you imagined how soft she would look in your favorite hoodie.

"Take a picture, it will last longer." She teased when you didn't respond. You snapped out of your daze and smiled sheepishly as you avoided her eye and continued to flip the pancakes. You put a plate down on the kitchen island and motioned for her to eat as you put some juice and fruit down too.

"No pressure, but what I think of you as a chef is going to be determined by these." She quipped as she started to cut the food. You smiled and turned around to watch the blonde's face change into a childish grin.

"Not too shabby." You concluded before shovelling more of the food into her mouth.

"No too shabby." You repeated with a sense of pride as you sat down next to her.

"That's what they used to say on the American shows I watched as a kid." She explained. You were about to tell her you had heard the expression before but paused when you realised it was the first time Yelena said anything about her childhood to you.

"Weren't they translated?" You asked carefully.

"No because they were copies from America. My father got them for us." She said and you noticed the far away look in her eyes, no doubt remembering that day as best she could.

"Well if you remember what the show's called we can try watch them again." You suggested with a shrug. Yelena considered you for a moment before she smiled at you softly. "Okay." She agreed. You opened your mouth to speak but there was a sudden loud thudding on your apartment door. You went to stand up to see who it was until Natasha opened the door and slammed it shut making you jump.

"I locked that door." Yelena said with certainty.

"I have a spare key." Natasha showed the metal piece before putting it back into her pocket.

"You want pancakes?" You asked as you stood up to put some more batter in the pan.

"What's going on with you two?" The redhead demanded, ignoring your question.

"What do you mean?" You and Yelena used in unison.

"You know exactly what I mean!" Natasha exclaimed as she raised her voice and looked between you and her equally baffled sister. "Are you dating? You could have told me." She continued as a hurt expression flickered across her face.

"We're not dating." Yelena said slowly but glanced at you. "Are we?" You could have sworn you heard her voice hold something hopeful rather than teasing.

"Not since I last checked."

"Can you quit fucking around and just tell me?" Natasha took a second look at the shirt Yelena was wearing before her jaw clenched.

"Oh no no no. We didn't- she just slept over!" You rambled as you started to panic. Natasha looked far from happy. You had been thinking a lot about what your friend had said the first time you met Yelena. You were never sure if she was really serious or not. All you knew was you that you started to feel guilty when your eyes lingered too long on her sister or when you felt the butterflies in your chest at her contact or really anything she did. You told yourself you kept your promise and didn't have a crush on Yelena, but it was becoming increasingly harder to convince yourself and now Natasha.

"You can tell me." The redhead said quieter as her stance softened. You looked to Yelena who seemed set on staying silent as she stared at her empty plate.

"Natasha I really don't know what to say..." You honestly didn't. You were baffled by the whole situation and Yelena was hardly helping. She really thought you were dating?

"Right, I just wanted to know." The older Russian sighed as she trudged towards the door. There was a heavy silence over the apartment until Natasha stopped by the open door to turn towards you both with a frown.

"I didn't mean it. What I said about..." She glanced around as she fidgeted in the doorway and searched for words. You and Yelena waited patiently. "Wanda said you guys are cute." A smile flickered at the corner of your mouth and you looked to the floor. "She's right." She left without another word and shut the door gently behind her. You exhaled heavily once you heard the click and leaned against the counter.

"Crazy, right?" You laughed nervously. Yelena didn't respond. "You okay?" You started filling the washing up bowl with water, needing to do something as you talked.

"She thinks we're dating." Yelena muttered.

"Yeah that's what I... that's crazy." You laughed more and scratched the back of your neck.

"Is it?" She questioned as she turned around to face you. You couldn't help but stare back at her light eyes that you struggled to read.

"Maybe not." You shrugged. The blonde looked back at the ground with a conflicted look. "No... no it's not." You concluded.

"I like spending time with you." Yelena continued. "Just hanging out, helping you put together that damn table, sleeping next to you. Even at that damn party with like one hundred people I still just wanted to be with you." She admitted and you exhaled a breath you didn't know you had been holding. "I just like being around you."

"I like being around you too." Yelena looked up and you held her gaze as your hands shook with nerves.

"Would you still like being around me if we were on a date?" She asked boldly. You couldn't contain the smile that grew at her words. You reached out and took her hands in yours as you took a step closer to the Russian.

"I would love it." Yelena smiled and stood up slowly, her eyes flickering to your lips as you licked them. You closed your eyes and leaned forward bravely, finding your hands were no longer shaking. Yelena's left hand left yours and came up to your neck to steady herself and close the gap between you, pressing her lips ever so softly against yours.

You snaked your hand around her waist to bring her somehow closer and deepened the kiss you realised you had been craving for so long. You pulled away softly and rested your forehead against Yelena's, suddenly feeling very dizzy.

"I have a huge crush on you." You admitted with a sigh, to yourself and Yelena.

"I have a huge crush on you too." Yelena laughed softly. "Can we do that date now? I think I've waited long enough." You giggled lightly and nodded your head as excitement rushed over you.

"Sounds perfect." You smiled and went to your bedroom to get changed but paused in the hallway. "You should call Nat."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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