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roosterforme · 1 month

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Some Things Take Time | Bob Floyd x Reader

Summary: Bob is a man well known for his patience. He never rushes things in the air, and he tries to live by a similar philosophy on the ground. You and he are both on the same page about welcoming a child into your home through foster care, but it's hard for him to watch you try to bond with her unsuccessfully. He soon realizes that Avery is a lot like him, and that some things are worth the extra time.

Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of infertility, mentions of foster care and adoption, Bob making all other men look like trash

Length: 5800 words

Pairing: Robert "Bob" Floyd x wife!reader

Happy birthday @wkndwlff! Check my masterlist for more!

You were laying on the couch with your head resting on your husband's lap, spinning his wedding band around on his finger while you tried to put your thoughts into words. You could tell he knew you were on the verge of speaking, sending you several expectant glances as you and he both pretended to watch the movie he started an hour ago. But Bob would never rush you, and you were thankful for that, because you wanted to make sure you got this right.

"We've been trying for a long time," you whispered, and Bob's blue eyes met yours as you looked up at him. "Almost two years."

He nodded once and smiled softly. "We have," he murmured, squeezing your hand in his larger one. You pressed your lips together as tears stung your eyes. Bob never seemed upset that he was pushing forty years old and in spite of trying and trying, you'd never gotten pregnant. He never put pressure on you to keep trying or to stop. You were convinced he never would, but you wanted to know what he was really thinking.

"What if we... stopped. Stopped trying. And just went with an alternative?"

"Honey, I already told you I'm happy with things how they are. We can stop trying if you want to, or we can talk about alternatives if you want to do that. But there's nothing wrong with just you and me. In fact, I'm really quite enjoying myself."

You closed your eyes as his fingers drifted along the curves of your side. It would be delicious to get back into the habit of having sex when you wanted to instead of when your cycle demanded it. You and Bob sharing your undivided attention with each other was something you were craving, but you still wanted something else, too.

"What if I said I wanted to look into fostering and adoption again?" you asked softly as you started to sit up.

He pulled you closer so you were straddling his thigh. "Then I would say we can call our lawyer on Monday and get some answers."

You smiled as you nudged his glasses with your nose and kissed his cheek. "And what if I said I'm not fertile today, but I want you anyway?"

Bob reached for the remote and turned the movie off as a soft blush rose in his cheeks. "Then I would say it's time we got in bed, Honey."

---------------------

Bob was a man who was well known for his patience. He never rushed things in the air, and he tried to live by a similar philosophy on the ground. He knew he wanted to marry you about halfway through the first date. He also knew you would have looked at him like he was insane if he admitted that to you halfway through the first date. So instead of rushing things, he took the time to make sure you were on the same page he was and that you were comfortable. He always tried to do that.

When a baby just didn't seem to be happening, he was more than willing to keep trying, but he was also completely content with the idea of no kids at all. It wasn't worth rushing anything as long as he had you in his life. But you had recently convinced him of a third option, and his lawyer helped the two of you smooth out the details.

And this is how Avery ended up at Bob's house on a random Monday evening. She was eight years old and in need of a foster family, and you were adamant when you answered the phone call that you and Bob were more than ready for her to be dropped off even on such short notice.

"I'm so nervous," you whispered as you held Bob's hand and watched through the front window as a van pulled up.

"I'm excited," he told you with a soft laugh. When he thought about having kids, he always pictured a little girl. For some reason, the idea of reading princess stories and painting a bedroom a putrid shade of purple really appealed to him. As he watched Avery being led up the walkway, he realized she didn't look one bit like you or him. He also realized that having a child who resembled him was actually never part of his dreams.

As the doorbell rang, you bounced in place and whispered, "She's here. She's really here."

Bob pulled you in for a kiss as his heart thudded. He realized he needed to tamp down his excitement a little bit. The two of you were merely fostering Avery. Nothing was set in stone even though you told the lawyer you wanted to eventually adopt a child. But right now your eyes were glittering with hope and anticipation, and Bob couldn't take that away from you.

"Let's make her feel welcome," he said as you both headed for the door.

Avery stood there with an unreadable expression on her adorable face, and Bob noticed right away how the case worker seemed to rush through everything. There were papers to sign and a schedule to keep, and even though all of it pertained to Avery, she ended up sitting quietly at the kitchen table while everyone else talked about her.

It was late by the time you and Bob were alone with her, and now her unreadable expression looked something like sadness. "Avery," Bob said softly. "Do you want to see your bedroom?"

She looked up at him and nodded without saying a word, and then you helped her down from the chair. You had taken the time to freshen up the extra bedroom and buy a pink glitter toothbrush and a pair of pajamas in her size. But Avery just sat down on the edge of the bed with her bag and asked, "Do I have to go to school tomorrow?"

"Yes," Bob replied with a smile. "I'll drop you off on my way to work, and then I'll pick you up in the afternoon."

When she didn't respond, you asked, "Is there anything you want? A bedtime snack or something to drink? I could make you some hot chocolate or get you a cookie. Bob makes the best oatmeal cookies, and there are a few left from the weekend. Maybe you can help Bob make the next batch." You were rambling now, and Bob reached out to squeeze your hand as you said, "We're just excited that you're here."

But Avery shook her head and told you, "I'll just read my book. Thanks." Then she untied her shoes and took a well worn copy of The Secret Garden from her bag, but she sat on the bed with rigid posture, not looking at either of you.

Bob wasn't quite sure what to do. You'd already shown the child where the bathroom was, and she seemed to have all of her essentials. He swallowed hard, deciding not to rush Avery even though he could feel your disappointment radiating off of you. He cleared his throat and said, "We'll leave our bedroom door open in case you need anything. And we'll get you up around seven for school. Good night, Avery."

She just nodded and squinted down at the tattered book cover like she was going to cry. Bob led you down the hallway, through your room and into the en suite bathroom where he gathered you in his arms as tears filled your eyes. "I don't think she likes us," you gasped before you buried your face against his neck.

Bob kissed the top of your head and whispered, "I just think she needs some time. Let's not rush anything."

-------------------------

You cried yourself to sleep the first night. You knew that your response wasn't fair to Bob or Avery or even to yourself, but you'd imagined meeting a little girl who was at least a little bit more talkative if not upbeat. You had your hopes set on fostering a child who at least gave the impression that your home was better than another alternative. You'd been given a vague picture of where Avery had come from, and you wanted her to be comfortable here, but now you felt stupid for buying the glitter toothbrush and the Minnie Mouse pajamas.

Bob's hand drew lazy circles on your back as you turned away from him and cried softly. "It's just the first night," he reminded you in that sweet, even tone that you loved so much.

"I know. I just wanted this so desperately," you admitted between shaky breaths. His hand on your body helped you eventually fall asleep, and the next morning, Bob was up before you, making breakfast. When you tapped on Avery's door which was ajar, you poked your head in to find her once again sitting on the bed reading.

"Did you sleep okay?" you asked, and she nodded in response. "That's great!" you said in a tone of forced excitement. "Do you need help getting ready for school?"

"No," she said softly, setting the book aside.

You took a deep breath and said, "Bob's making breakfast. Do you want to come downstairs and eat?"

"Yes."

That was the last word you heard her speak before Bob led her out to his car in his uniform. He smiled at you over his shoulder as he told you to have a good day working on your true crime novel, but you knew you weren't going to. You spend two hours trying to write, but you ended up with three and a half new sentences. Instead, you spent most of the day thinking you'd made a huge mistake and hating your own body. Avery would probably last two weeks tops with you and Bob before she was begging to go somewhere else. You didn't even know if you could stand to see her melancholy little expression when your husband brought her home from school today, but you didn't want to call her case worker for help yet.

In the afternoon, you bought everything you needed to make oatmeal cookies along with the rest of your usual groceries. You paused next to the checkout line where there was a display of children's books and grabbed a few of them. Avery appeared to like her book more than anything else, so maybe she would appreciate these ones, too.

But when Bob brought Avery home with him after school, she barely spoke. She didn't want to help make any cookies, and after dinner, she went back to her bedroom. Bob tried to help her with her homework, but she told him it was easy and she already finished it. When you dropped off the new books, she told you she already had a favorite.

"Oh," you said, standing in the doorway with your hands full of the unwanted books. "That's good... that you have a favorite. I have a favorite book, too."

She looked up at you and nodded, but soon you were backing out of the room and trying to hide your tears from Bob. "It takes time," he reassured you as you balled your hands into fists and cried on him again.

You knew you needed to be as patient as he always was, but you just weren't like him. And you started talking before you could stop yourself. "If we could have gotten pregnant, we'd have our own child," you sobbed. "One that we raised from day one who would love us and bake cookies and read new books."

Bob kissed your ear and whispered, "Nothing is easy, Honey. But sometimes the harder something is at first, the more rewarding it is later on."

You cried yourself to sleep again.

------------------------

Bob tried his best for that first week. He watched you start to pull away and retreat into yourself the more Avery kept to her bedroom. Every day when he dropped her off and picked her up, she thanked him for the ride. When he asked if she would rather start taking the bus, she told him it didn't matter. When he asked if there was something special she wanted to eat for dinner, she said she wasn't picky.

And all the while she just squinted down at her book. Just The Secret Garden even though you brought home some others. When he pulled up to the curb in front of her school one morning, he said, "Avery, would you like me to take you to the library one day? Or maybe a bookstore where you can pick out what you want?"

She looked at him as she grabbed her backpack in one hand and her book in the other. "Maybe." Then she climbed out of the car, and he waited to pull away until she was inside the school building. That was the most promising answer he'd received yet. He drove to work thinking about signing her up for a library card, and when he got there, he was in a much better mood.

Natasha was the only one who knew that Avery was under his care. He didn't want to give anyone too many details, but she sweetly asked him the same question every morning after they got to work. "How are you and the Mrs. making out with your houseguest?"

And this morning, he said, "Maybe a little better today, Nat. I'm just trying not to rush it."

She patted him on the chest and smiled. "You never do, Bob. You're a man of details."

She was right. He spent the day thinking about all of the details that he knew about Avery. She was eight years old and very quiet. She only wanted to read one book even though you offered her more. She seemed to find the most comfort when she was alone. She was honestly a lot like Bob.

When he picked Avery up from school, he watched as one of the teachers patted the top of her backpack and sent her on her way. She squinted toward his car before trudging over in his direction with a frown on her face. Bob sighed as she climbed into the backseat and buckled herself in. "How was your day, Avery?" he asked as he shifted into drive. But today he got no verbal response at all. Instead he heard her crying.

Without another word, Bob pulled his car around and into an empty parking spot before killing the engine. He opened his door and closed it before taking a few deep breaths, and then he climbed in the back door and settled in next to the crying child. He let one hand gently rest on her shoulder, giving her a small squeeze before asking, "Do you want to talk about what's bothering you?"

She just shook her head as tears flowed down her cheeks, and she stared at her feet. "It's stupid."

Bob smiled slightly. "You might think so, but I'd probably find what you have to say fascinating."

She turned her head to look at him, examining his face to see if he was being honest. But of course he was. He just wanted her to tell him what was on her mind. It took a few minutes before she started to settle down, but eventually she said, "I failed my eye exam with the nurse today." She unzipped her bag and pulled out a yellow sheet of paper and handed it to him. "She told me my eyesight is terrible and that I need to get glasses."

Bob looked at the page and had to hide his alarm from her. Avery failed her eye exam spectacularly. It was a wonder to Bob that she was even able to see in her classroom. But now her squinting and her preference for one, well worn book were starting to make sense. As he filled in the blanks in his mind, he said, "Glasses aren't so bad," while he tapped his own silver frames. "They certainly make my day a lot easier."

She kind of rolled her eyes and said, "But you're an adult. People aren't going to make fun of you for wearing glasses."

"You think you'll get made fun of?" Bob asked softly, folding the yellow paper in half.

"Yes," she replied immediately as she wiped at her tears. "I already do. Glasses will make it so much worse."

Bob wanted to press her for more details, but he didn't think this was the right moment. Instead he asked, "Is that why you only like to read The Secret Garden? Because you already know most of the words by heart?"

Avery looked at him like she couldn't believe he solved a very complex riddle. "Yes."

He nodded and asked, "Would you like to be able to read other books, too? Because glasses would definitely help with that."

She shrugged and sniffed as she said, "I like books about gardens and flowers and fairies. I don't know of any other ones I would like anyway."

Bob patted her on the shoulder one more time and said, "I like those kinds of books, too. And I think I can help you get glasses that look cool and help you pick out more books. If you'll let me."

Another partial shrug was his only answer, but at least she wasn't telling him no. As he climbed back into the driver's seat, he sent you a quick text telling you that he and Avery were fine and to go ahead and have dinner on your own. Then he drove along to his optometrist's office, hoping they would squeeze an extra appointment into their schedule.

"You're in luck," the receptionist told him when they arrived. "There was a last minute cancellation. Have a seat, and we can take you back shortly."

The rack hanging on the wall was filled with books and magazines for people of all ages, but Bob watched Avery squint as she took a seat empty handed. He skimmed a magazine and offered to read an article to her, but she said no. When ten minutes had passed, Bob asked her, "Are the kids at school mean to you?"

He was already considering other options that might make her feel more comfortable when she said, "I just don't fit in. Everyone else has parents or grandparents. Everyone else is loud, and I like it better when it's quiet. Everyone else already made friends."

Bob nodded his head. It was like she was living his own childhood in many ways. "I like it better when it's quiet, too. So does my wife. And making friends can be hard at any age. I still struggle with it."

"You do?" she asked him, eyes wide and interested.

"Absolutely. Sometimes I still get nervous and stumble over what I want to say, and I'm thirty-nine. And you know what?"

"What?"

"There's nothing wrong with that."

He watched Avery take a deep breath and look down at her hands before both of their names were called. Once they were in the exam room, Bob got to witness her fail the test for the second time in one day, and then her tears started up again. The crying was only made worse when the receptionist popped in and tried to quietly tell Bob that Avery wasn't approved for any vision insurance.

The child was clearly smart as a whip, and if she was having a hard time fitting in at school, he didn't want to make it worse by making her feel like she didn't fit in with you and him either. "I was planning on paying out of pocket today," he told the receptionist who just nodded in response. Then he turned to Avery and said, "Looks like the nurse was right. How about we pick out some glasses?"

She looked at the displays while she wiped at her eyes with a tissue, but she wouldn't tell Bob which ones she wanted to try on. "Which ones are the cheapest?" she asked softly.

"I have no idea," Bob replied easily. "What's your favorite color?"

"Purple," she whispered, and Bob followed her squinting gaze to a purple frame sitting on a shelf above her head.

"I like purple, too," he said as he reached them down and handed them to her. She held them for a couple minutes, and Bob decided not to rush her. She finally slipped them on and looked in the mirror, and he told her, "I think they look cool."

She nodded a little bit. "They're pretty good. But nobody else at school has purple glasses."

As she removed them and tried to hand them back to him, Bob quickly looked at the adult sized frames. There was one pair that came in a deep purple, and he kind of liked them. "Just hang onto those for a minute. I need help picking out new glasses for myself, okay? What do you think about these?"

When he removed his wire frames and replaced them with the purple plastic, it seemed like Avery couldn't help but smile. "I like them."

He nodded once. "Then I'll get them. That way we can match since we both like purple. Thanks for your help."

"You're welcome," she replied quietly, looking at the glasses she was still holding before handing them to Bob.

He took both pairs in his hand before nodding toward the door. "I'm feeling like it's a good day to get ice cream for dinner and look around the bookstore. I can think of at least two more books that you might like to read once your glasses are ready for you to wear. Sound good?"

"Yes."

--------------------------

You didn't know what to expect when Bob brought Avery home after seven o'clock on a school night, but you definitely weren't prepared to hear her laughter for the first time. You'd barely made any progress on your novel since Avery arrived a few weeks ago, merely existing in your own funk all day long. But the sound of Bob's voice followed by her light giggle as they walked inside left you feeling better than you had in ages.

"Hi," you said, your voice dripping with optimism as Bob headed your way with a shopping bag in his hand.

"Hi, Honey," he replied, kissing your cheek while Avery took her shoes off.

"How was school?" you asked her.

"Terrible," she told you with a smile aimed up at Bob. "I failed my eye exam."

"Oh," you gasped, already making a mental note to call the eye doctor first thing in the morning so she could get some glasses. "We can take care of it for you."

"Already did," Bob said as he squeezed your hand. "Stopped on the way home and picked them out. Should be ready next week."

"Really?" you asked in surprise as he pulled two books out of the bag. Both were covered in vines and flowers, but one was clearly a novel for an adult while the other was much slimmer and looked like it was for Avery's reading level.

"Yes," he replied softly. "Now, on the drive home, I told Avery that you're a writer, but that you're also really good at reading books out loud." When you nodded and looked at her, she was squinting up at you. Bob handed you the smaller book and said, "I didn't get to take a shower before I left work, so I need to go do that now. But I promised Avery that you'd read a chapter to her after she gets ready for bed." He patted her on the shoulder and then made his way upstairs.

Your head was swimming with information. New glasses and new books and a child who was looking up at you with hope in her eyes. A husband who set up some time for you to spend alone with her. Tears stung your eyes as you said, "I love reading books out loud. Do you want to change for bed and brush your teeth now?"

Ten minutes later, you were sitting next to Avery on the spare bed, reading to her about a magical garden filled with flowers that turned the characters into superheroes. You read all sixteen pages of the first chapter, and then she asked you to read more.

It was a little bit past bedtime when you finished the third chapter, and she was yawning. "How about I go get you one of my bookmarks from my office? And we can read more tomorrow night?"

"Okay," she replied easily, and when you returned a minute later with a bookmark that had a purple tassel, she smiled. "I like this book so far, but I think I'd like it a lot better if there were fairies, too. Thank you for reading to me."

"You're very welcome," you told her, barely shutting off the light in time for a tear to slide down your cheek. "Goodnight, Avery."

When you rushed into your own bedroom, Bob was in bed reading the other new book. "How did you do it?" you asked him, quickly climbing under the covers with him. "How did you get her to open up a little bit?"

He set the book down with a soft smile. "She just needed some time, Honey. She's a lot like me. She can't be rushed."

"No," you said, pushing your fingers through his hair as you cried a little bit. "That's not it. I think you're actually magical."

"Maybe," he agreed. "But her vision is so bad. That's why I think she kept reading The Secret Garden. She probably has it memorized and didn't want to tell anyone she couldn't see."

"Poor thing," you whispered, realizing that most of Bob's magic came from his patience as you fell asleep in his arms.

-------------------------

A week later, Bob noticed you were exhausted, but you seemed a lot happier, because Avery seemed a lot happier. You had successfully read two books to her, and she was starting to become more vocal around the house. He was hoping she was having an easier time making friends at school now, too. But he was a little bit concerned with how late into the night you'd been working.

When he got a message around lunchtime letting him know both pairs of glasses were ready, he smiled. Pretty soon Avery would be able to attempt reading a new book on her own. He sent you a text letting you know that he'd be home with Avery after a quick stop back at the optometrist's office. And when he picked her up from school, she squinted at his car before climbing in the backseat.

"Ready to go get our new glasses?" he asked before pulling out onto the road.

"Yes," she replied softly. "I've decided that wearing glasses is a better alternative than not being able to read new books. At least until I can get contacts."

Bob chuckled. "A wise choice."

A few seconds later, she asked, "Will you take me to the library this weekend? There have to be more books there that I'd like."

"Of course I'll take you to the library. We can ask the librarian to help you find you as many books as you want to read."

He hoped that would make the new glasses an even easier decision for her. He parked and led her inside where the eye doctor got them both fitted correctly before handing them a mirror. "What do you think?" Bob asked as he smiled at Avery. "I think they look cool on you."

She shrugged. "They're okay."

"Can you see better?"

"Yes," she whispered. On the way outside, she said, "Thanks for getting new glasses with me. I like yours, too."

Bob checked himself in the mirror before he backed out of the parking spot. "I think it's kind of my color."

You were waiting in the living room for them when Bob opened the front door. The house smelled like dinner cooking, and you had a stack of bound pages on the couch next to you. When you jumped to your feet, you said, "You both look great!" as you bounced in place a little bit.

"Purple is kind of our color," Avery said, making Bob laugh as you covered your massive smile with your fingertips.

"It really is," you replied, wrapping Bob in a quick hug before cautiously placing your hand on Avery's shoulder for a beat. "I have something I wanted to show you. I was hoping to get your opinion."

"Me?" she asked, looking up at you, eyes wide behind her purple frames.

"Yes," you told her softly. "I've been working on a new story for the past week, and I really think you'll be able to help me with the ending."

"What kind of story?" she asked you, and Bob slowly made his way into the kitchen where he could still hear the two of you talking.

"Well," you told her as she joined you on the couch, "it's about a fairy who gets invited to live in a magic garden. And she starts to learn how to use magic herself while a friendly witch and a kind wizard supervise her. And the garden is really pretty, and she loves it there and starts to make friends with the other creatures. Do you want to take a look at it?"

"Okay."

Bob hovered in the doorway and watched you hand the bound manuscript to the little girl next to you while you chewed nervously on your lip. He knew you wanted this to work out; he did too. He was also very surprised that you'd been working on this for the past week without sharing your secret even with him. But it truthfully wasn't really for him. It was for her. And you.

The child looked up at you and whispered, "You named the fairy Avery."

You just nodded and smiled. "Your name is so pretty, and you remind me of the kind of little girl who would have magic inside her."

Avery turned back to the page in front of her and snuggled in a little bit closer to you. She started reading out loud, and after a few pages, handed it over to you for a little bit. The two of you went back and forth like this for an hour before Bob carried in two plates of dinner and set them on the coffee table.

"Even magic fairies get hungry," he said softly before leaving both of you to the story.

---------------------------

When you woke up a few weeks later on Avery's ninth birthday, you were beyond exhausted. The past few nights had been late ones for you as you tried to finish up and edit the story you'd been working on. The title that the two of you came up with was The Littlest Fairy in the Garden, and you were just as proud of this as your true crime releases.

Then you realized that there was actually a reason why you woke up. You could hear Bob talking. It sounded like he was on the phone even though it was barely eight o'clock. You climbed out of bed and stretched before finding him sitting on the floor in the walk-in closet talking softly on the phone in his pajama pants, undershirt and purple glasses.

"I'm sure she's going to agree with me. We want to move forward if that's what Avery wants, but I'll call you back in an hour or two. Thank you so much."

He ended the call right when you asked, "Who was that?"

Bob jumped a bit as he looked up at you with a tentative smile. "Our lawyer," he whispered.

"What did they say?" you whispered back as he got to his feet and wrapped his arms around you.

When Bob's lips found your ear, you shivered at his words. "It was just a preliminary conversation, but they asked if we would be interested in pursuing adoption."

"With Avery?" you gasped, and he nodded against you.

"Yes. With Avery."

Tears filled your eyes as you clung to him. You thought about all the books she'd been reading with you and the birthday cake waiting in the kitchen. You could practically still smell the oatmeal cookies she and Bob made a few days ago. You could picture her smile and imagine her laughter, both of which were coming more easily with each passing day. "I want to adopt her. She belongs here. With us."

"I think so, too," he replied immediately, and you could hear the unshed tears in her voice. "I think we should have a conversation with her about it today. The process could take a little time, but I want to be sure it's what she wants as well."

You nodded, a jerky motion against him as your heart pounded faster and faster. "Let's talk about it when she wakes up."

Bob led you downstairs to the kitchen, his fingers laced with yours, and he started to crack some eggs while you made coffee and fresh orange juice. Avery had picked the menu for each meal today for her birthday, and the plan was to take her to the zoo after lunch. There was currently a purple banner with flowers and fairies on it stretched across the kitchen along with a large assortment of balloons. You couldn't remember being this excited about something in such a long time.

"Good morning," came a soft voice from the bottom of the stairs, and you nearly dropped a mug on the floor as you turned to look at her.

"Happy birthday!" you and Bob replied in unison, and then all three of you started laughing.

Without another word, Avery made her way into the kitchen in her Minnie Mouse pajamas and gave you a hug around the waist. You gasped softly as you hugged her back, her purple glasses pressing against you. Then she tucked herself against Bob's side and hugged him right after that. "Thanks for all the birthday stuff. And thanks for being so nice to me and getting me glasses and everything."

You and Bob shared a look over her head as he rubbed his hand along her shoulder. "It makes us happy that you're here, Avery," he said softly, and you had to swipe at your tears. "Let's have your breakfast, and maybe we can talk about making this permanent."

"Permanent? Like me staying here for a while?" she asked softly as she looked up at him.

"Like you staying here forever."

--------------------------

This is a little birthday treat for @wkndwlff! I hope you have a great day, Taylor! I set out to write a nice little story based on this mood board, but somehow it turned into this angsty thing instead. Thanks to @sylviebell @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

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eilaafterhours · 5 months

Text

Patience [Grim | Casper]

Content: AFAB Reader, Light Dom/Sub, Blindfolds, Restraints, Men Crying, Cowgirl Position, Pet Names, POV Second Person, Reader-Insert

Pronouns: None (AFAB)

Reblogs: Let me know that you enjoy my work and want to see more, so don’t forget to like and reblog (and comment in the tags. I love seeing people’s rambles in the tags)!

Remember: I’ll block you if I catch your ageless or under age (not 18+) ass in my activity :)

This work’s concepts, plot and original characters are my own which means I do not allow any sort of creative theft nor do I allow my work to be entered into any sort of A.I. bots. Thank you for respecting my space and boundaries.

"How...how much longer must I remain like...this?"

The two of you had gotten into an argument about patience. He made the proclamation that he was leagues more patient than you, and instead of refuting him, you instead offered a challenge.

You turned your attention to your partner, smiling at his flushed features.

He was on your bed, spread wide on his knees. His arms were bound behind his back, and a blindfold hid his gaze. His entire body was coated in a thin layer of sweat, certain parts of his body flushed beautifully red.

Especially the head of his weeping cock.

You swiped the creamy slick away with your thumb, relishing in the way his hips bucked.

"Ah, so needy..." You rested your clean hand on his cheek, "Open."

He did as he was told. Tilting his head up a bit, tongue lolling out. You placed your thumb on his tongue, and he closed around it immediately, sucking it clean.

"You cleaned it so good." You ran a hand through his hair, removing the blindfold in the process. "Hi there, pretty boy."

"S-sunshine..." His eyelids fluttered close, a curtain of white standing out against the deep red on his checks. "Please."

"Has your patience run thin, Casper?" His teeth caught his bottom lip, "Do you want me to help you?"

You moved to straddle him, sighing through your nose as the weight of his heavy cock settled against your stomach.

The contact made him squirm a bit, "Ah—un...!"

You wedged your hand between your bodies, wrapping it firmly around his shaft. "Should I let you fuck my hand like this?"

"Mmm..." You were sure that he was getting caught up in the fantasy, not even realizing that he had begun fucking your hand.

You let him go for a bit, letting his moans go from soft and airy to restrained and from his throat.

He was so close.

You gave him a firm squeeze.

He stopped moving.

"So you're the only one who can get off? Naughty boy."

"I'm—fuck—sorry!" Tears slipped down his cheeks.

"Ah, I've gone too far." You kissed them away. "And you've done so good for me."

He finally opened his eyes to look at you, "Have I?"

You nodded, giving him a soft kiss. "And now it's time for your reward."

You lifted your hips, lining yourself up, then lowered yourself on his cock. Both of you threw your heads back at the sudden heat and fullness.

Very quickly did the two of you lose yourselves in the chase for ecstasy. He didn't last very long, but that didn't matter because the look on his face and the feeling of his cum filling you, being pushed in and out of you from you bouncing on his dick had you barreling into your own release.

Once you had caught your breath, you undid the binds from around his arms. You squeaked as they immediately found your waist, dragging you down with him as he let his body go to exhaustion. You let him, resting your head on his chest as his chin nestled on the top of your head.

"So...who's got more patience than whom?" You asked.

"...I'd say it's a tie."

You shot up. "How is it a tie?"

"I may have been tested, but as the proctor, you gave into your lust and came very shortly after me." He smirked.

"Well, I wasn't being tested, so it doesn't matter."

"It does."

"Does not!"

"It does."

And it went like that for a short while longer until the sticky feeling between your legs became too uncomfortable and a bath was more important than who was right.

Oh well, you'd just have to test him again.

I don't have much to say, actually. This is my comeback, and it's in a new fandom, um….yeah.

Welp, enjoy!

Ko-Fi | Masterlist

#eila ficlets #rated [e]lia for explicit: a date with death #a date with death smut #a date with death grim x reader smut #a date with death casper x reader smut #grim x reader smut #casper x reader smut #a death with death vn

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hyperfixatedbastard · 2 months

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Hi i hope you doing well. I have a resquest... more like a headcanon. What if Adam was a dad ? What his behaviour will be ? Does he be a good or a bad father ?

I understand if you don't do it. I don't want to force you for something you don't want to.

Dadam (Dad!Adam) Headcanons

we bringing out the daddy issues on this one boys

WARNINGS: none

A/N: I haven't done a headcanon type of post yet, but they're easier to write than regular one shots and I'm too tired for that shit. The request didn't specify what kind of Reader (spouse or child), so I just went with general headcanons that don't specify the Reader at all. Insert yourself as you wish!

Also, thank you all for your patience! It's been very busy for me lately and I've been too exhausted to write much, so expect a lot more of these kinds of posts (the formatting is easier and I don't have to write a bunch of dialogue lol).

Dividers

As the father of humanity, Adam had...a lot of kids. The guy lived for 800+ years just populating the earth. That's a LOT of kids. We all know how the first two turned out. That is, not fuckin' well. To be honest, I don't think Adam valued his children. It was just kinda... a thing he had to do. (When Abel died and Cain got exiled, he fr just went and had another kid to replace them.) But I am in deep, deep denial and this is for my enjoyment as someone with severe daddy issues. So fuck all that.

At first, Adam is 100% the guy that freaks the fuck out when he finds out he knocked someone up. That man is SWEATING. He's actually pretty chill if it's someone he's in an established long-term relationship with, though. He still freaks the fuck out, but to a significantly lesser degree and with a much smaller chance of up and leaving. Once he's over the initial shock, he's shocked to find that he's kind of excited. Back when he was alive, having kids was just normal because it was such a common occurrence.

This man knows every little detail about pregnancy and infants. With the amount of kids he's had? He has seen it ALL. Sure, all his information is thousands of years old, but knowledge learned through experience is super valuable when it comes to this shit! He doesn't know what the fuck a uterus is, but he knows exactly how to make his partner the most comfortable, how to deal with cravings, etc. If his partner has a problem, he's got a solution. It might be a fuckin' weird one, but it works! He'll probably grumble and complain, but he doesn't actually mean it. Bitching is just his thing, y'know? But... pregnancy hormones + Adam's douchebag-ness = feelings getting hurt. If his partner starts crying because of some shit joke or complaint he made? He's scrambling so fast. "Shit, babe, fuck, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, fuckfuckfuck, don't cry—"

Once the baby is born, he definitely surprises literally everyone but his partner by actually doing helpful shit. Changing diapers? Easy fuckin' peasy (he does watch a tutorial online because he doesn't know how tf modern diapers work but he's a fast learner) Feeding? No problemo. Getting up in the middle of the night to do both of those things? His sleep schedule's already fucked, this shit ain't new.

When it comes to parenting and raising the kid, though... that's definitely where Adam struggles. He'd struggle with bonding. A lot. Adam mostly talks about things that you really shouldn't say around children, much less bond over. I think he'd be better at just letting the kid ramble while he's just sitting there, fully engrossed in whatever bullshit his child is saying. He's not just passively listening with little 'uh-huh's and nods, this man is active in the discussion. Have you ever heard a small child speak? They say the most random shit ever, and Adam would love it. It's peak entertainment to him. Even if it's just incoherent babbling, he'll have full-on conversations with this baby.

He'd definitely have some shared interests as the kid gets older. I think Adam's favorite shows/movies are a mix of action movies and shit like Power Rangers. He's not ashamed of it either—'fuck you, the Power Rangers are fuckin' cool.' This also goes for video games. I know that man is a toxic COD gamer boy and you can't prove me wrong. Basically, the only thing that keeps him from becoming one of those husbands that locks himself away in a man cave to play video games is the fact that he can game with his kid.

And once they get into school, he just gets really invested in the drama. Elementary school drama is such bullshit, and it'd be the best reality TV he's ever seen. "Oh, don't tell me—it's that bitch Cindy. The fuck did that little shit do this time?" He'd be gasping like it's a damn soap opera. 'Oh no she didn't!' kinda vibe.

He'd talk so much shit around his kid about the parents of their classmates, the teachers, anyone. Then the kid would repeat it and Adam would get sat down in the office with his kid like: "Your child said, and I quote, 'My dad says your mom's a bitch.'" "What? She fuckin' is." And yeah, he's not wrong - some of those parents are fucking nightmares.

If his kid got in trouble for fighting, his reaction would depend on the situation. If it was unprovoked and/or a part of bullying, he'd originally laugh it off but would be freaking the fuck out internally. He's probably a little traumatized by what happened with Cain and Abel. But if the fighting was an act of defense (whether of themselves or someone else) he would be the proudest dad ever. Fist-bumps his kid in the office in full view of the principal.

You cannot trust this man to give his kid the sex talk. It just will not go well. Like, if his kid needs advice when they're older (basically anything beyond 'where do babies come from') then he's your guy, but it's still gonna be awkward and uncomfortable. He'd probably have Lute handle most of those issues just so he doesn't have to know about his kid's sex life but can still trust that they have a responsible(?) adult if they have questions.

In terms of where Adam is lacking as a parent, there's a few areas in particular to focus on.

Emotional availability? Not his strong suit. At all. He can't deal with his own feelings, let alone his kid's. Most of the emotional support will be coming from his partner. That doesn't mean he doesn't try. But he can't show it with words all that well. He'll show emotional support in other ways—quality time, gifts, and acts of service for the most part. Like going out for ice cream, watching a movie, etc.

He's not good with discipline. To him, everything's no big deal. If his kid hasn't killed their sibling, that's good enough for him! Generally, his partner will choose when/how to discipline (with Adam's input ofc), but Adam's job is to just enforce it/not overrule it. He's 100% the type to be sneaky about it tho. If his kid is grounded, he'll go out with them to give them a break from being stuck in the house, y'know, stuff like that. Because of this, his kid forms a closer, different kind of bond than with Adam's partner. It's more friendly, I guess is the word? Like, his kid won't go to him for actual helpful advice, but if they fuck up somehow or are in a bad situation that they kinda got themselves into (drinking, car accident, etc.), then Adam is the parent they call.

I think Adam's peak parenting era would be when his kid is a late teen/young adult. 'Cause then he can actually be himself, for the most part. His personality is not very kid-friendly, so once his kid isn't really much of a kid anymore—he is so fucking excited. His relationship with his kid would be a lot more unconventional as they grow older. Like, he's really close with his kid once they're an adult. (totally not basing this off my relationship with my mom) His advice would be shit, but he'd give it if his kid needed it!

Definitely the type to text his kid more often than most parents. Mostly because he texts more like them and has the same sense of humor. Lots of shitty memes.

Also!! I think Adam would definitely make time for his partner. Date nights are a must. His kid better get comfortable with sleepovers at friends' houses or getting babysat by Emily 'cause he ain't letting parenthood fuck up his sex life.

I think that's all I got. Not sure how to end this so uh... shoutout to all you bitches with daddy issues lmao

Taglist: @little-miss-chaoss @fakeguysarehot @3sire-777

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin adam #hazbin hotel adam x reader #hazbin hotel fluff #hazbin hotel oneshots #hazbin hotel headcanons #headcanons #adam headcanons #hazbin headcanons #adam x reader

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ladykailitha · 4 months

Text

The Magic of Christmas Part 3/8

Just an extra long chapter here because they didn't want to shut up. They're getting closer and their best friends are slowly coming on board to the idea.

Part 1 Part 2

***

Eddie was vibrating. Chrissy had done a total deep dive into this guy and other then being a bratty teenager and having shit parents there was nothing in Steve’s closet that would set off alarm bells.

Steve Harrington just knew how to deal with people to get what he wanted. He knew when to back off, too. In fact, Eddie was trying to get the dude stop backing off so much.

He was a people pleaser with eroded boundaries. And while that was certainly a problem, it wasn’t a ‘might be a serial killer’ problem like Chrissy thought.

So yeah, Eddie was vibrating because he was going to show Steve his first set of sketches for him to okay the design.

Steve was late. He had called to let him know he would be late. A meeting had gone over and he would be there as soon as he could.

Eddie pulled out his drawing pad and flipped through the designs he had come up with. He itched to pull out a pencil and “fix” a line or seven. But he had to refrain. If he started on it he would be so far down the rabbit hole that he would have three new designs before Steve got here.

A shadow crossed over him and he looked up to see Steve standing there.

“Steve!” he greeted warmly, getting to his feet.

They shook hands and then sat down.

“So what have you got for me?” Steve asked eagerly, leaning on his forearms to see Eddie’s drawing pad.

Eddie grinned at him. “I’ve got loads, big boy.” He turned the drawing pad around and Steve paid diligent attention to each piece.

He went back to the third design and turned it back to face Eddie. “I like this one. But I have one suggestion, if I may?”

Eddie shrugged. “Sure.”

“What if the dragon’s wings spread out over the four other pieces connecting them?” Steve asked, biting on his lip.

Eddie began to sketch furiously while Steve watched in fascination.

“Have you ever thought about streaming your process?” Steve asked. “It’s very enthralling.”

Eddie’s head jerked up like he’d forgotten Steve was there at all. He looked down at his pad and blushed. “I never thought I’d have the patience for it, you know? The whole explaining it while I’m doing it.”

Steve nodded. “I can see why that might deter you. But if you just drew or painted and put music over the top, I think it would do very well.”

“And would you be my first subscriber?” Eddie teased.

“Hell yeah!” Steve said with a grin. “And I would tell everyone I know to subscribe too.”

“I’ll think about it.”

He slid the drawing back over to Steve, who grinned.

“Perfect.”

“Edward Allen Munson!” Chrissy hissed as she threw open the door to their loft. “You tell me right now: are you joking about the YouTube channel?”

Eddie looked up from his sketching and blinked at her. “I thought you’d be pleased.”

She walked over to where he had sprawled out in front of the five canvasses and flopped down across from him. “I am pleased but only if you aren’t trying to butter me up to leave you alone about your ridiculous crush.”

Eddie opened and closed his mouth, licking and smacking his lips as he struggled for words.

“It’s about the crush but not in the way you mean…?” he said with a grimace.

She crossed her legs and put her elbows on her knees. She rested her head on her knuckles to stare him down. He wiggled and squirmed under her gaze.

“Explain.”

So Eddie did.

Chrissy rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “So no talking but what if I convinced you to let me write words to put up on the screen while you paint talking about the subject matter and why you chose it?”

“Oh!” he said brightly. “Even better! Why don’t I talk about D&D or music while I paint? That way I can babble to my hearts content without out having to drone on about the process.”

She blinked at him. “Eddie Munson you are a genius.” She rose up on her still crossed legs and kissed him soundly on the forehead. “I love it and you.”

Eddie blushed and went back to his sketching.

“Steve!” Dustin screamed into his ear when he picked up the phone mere days after his last meeting with Eddie.

“God, kid,” Steve groaned. “Tone it down. I don’t want to go deaf please.”

He could practically feel the eye roll from here.

“Eddie Munson has a YouTube channel!” Dustin continued to scream. “Oh my god do you know how big this is?!”

“One, I need to you to breath before you pass out from lack of oxygen to your brain,” Steve said. “You like your brain, don’t abuse it like this.”

Dustin let out a slow shuddering breath. “Right. I’m breathing.”

“Good,” Steve said slowly. “And two, I know about the channel because he told me about it.”

“You already know?” Dustin squawked. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Steve sighed. “Look at the clock and tell me what time it is?”

“2:37pm. Why?”

“What time did the channel go live?” Steve asked, pinch the bridge of his nose.

“About one.”

“And where would you have been at one?” he asked, his eyes fluttering shut against the audacity of this kid.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, bud,” Steve said. “Oh. You were in class. Which I still don’t understand why you are taking summer classes. You’re young, you should enjoy your life.” He tilted his head. “How did you find out so fast anyway?”

“I follow Eddie on twitter, Facebook, Instragram, and his fan Discord server.” This was said as though it was obvious.

“Well now you have one more place to follow him,” Steve said ignoring the tone.

“Steve…” Dustin said, his voice low and dangerous. “Why are you his first subscriber?”

“Look, Dustin,” he said trying to keep the giggle in his throat from bursting through, “I’ve got to run. I have a meeting.”

“Stev–”

Steve sighed as he held the phone against his forehead, grateful they weren’t in person.

“Yeah, Steve,” Robin said from the doorway, “why were you his first subscriber?”

He blushed a dark red. “Because I promised I would be when I suggested the channel three days ago?”

Robin narrowed her eyes. “I see.”

Steve wasn’t sure what she saw, but he knew he would find out soon enough.

Eddie was working on Dustin’s first because he felt like it was the most important to get right. Wizards were usually portrayed as dusty old men and it appeared that this kid had done the same. But then the character was created ten years ago.

But Eddie decided to avoid a Gandolf/Dumbledore looking dude and went more for a Jafar that had gotten the time to grow old. A neat goatee, a sharp piercing gaze and weather-beaten skin.

His robe had stars on it according to Will the Wise’s picture of them. So he decided to make the robe look it was filled with swirling galaxies and nebulae.

Eddie was working on the cave background when his phone chirped. He tucked his paintbrush behind his ear and pulled it out.

Rich Pretty Boy: I got ahold of a couple of friends of mine that are going to help promote your charity. Nancy Wheeler is an investigative journalist most of the time but she owes me a favor and is willing to interview you about the charity to get it seen on a national platform. I’ll email you the details.

Eddie blinked at his phone in shock. Nancy Wheeler was the new and improved Barbara Walters (improved as in she wasn’t an ass to the people she was interviewing.) That must be a huge fucking favor she owed Steve if he got her for this.

EM: Holy shit! What kind of blackmail do you have on her for this?

RPB: LOL! I’m sworn to secrecy, sorry. :(

EM: All right, keep your secrets.

RPB: That’s LotR, right?

EM: Correct. I know you keep telling me you aren’t a nerd, but dude every time we talk I gather more and more evidence to the contrary.

RPB: I blame Dustin. He wore me down.

EM: Then I take it upon myself to complete the education that Sir Dustin has begun!

EM: Meet me at my loft on Friday at 8pm. We are going to start with the animated classics of the 80s!

RPB: Beer or wine?

EM: Beer.

EM: I’ll see you later, pretty boy. I have this huge project I’m working on that is on a deadline.

RPB: Curse the bastard that’s taking up all your time. ;)

Eddie laughed out loud.

EM: He’s the worst. ;)

RPB: See you on Friday, Eds.

EM: Laters!

Eddie put his phone down with a fond smile on his face. It was absolutely ridiculous how much he loved this beautiful idiot that had come in and swept him off his feet.

“Tell me again why I have to be here for this?” Chrissy complained for the fifth time that hour.

“Because fair Christine,” Eddie said through gritted teeth, “it’s not a date and he’s bringing his best friend.”

“How is his secretary his best friend anyway?” she groused, folding her arms and burying herself into the big fluffy sofa.

Eddie rolled his eyes and flopped down next to her. “They were friends before he took over the business. They had worked together in every job they’ve ever had so when he took over he put the one person he could trust in front of his office to shield himself from the assholes who make his life a living hell.”

Chrissy pursed her lips. “Fine.”

He kissed her cheek and went to go get the popcorn and candy.

“You ever going to tell this Steve you have a hard on for him?” she asked as he kept swapping bowls around for best placement.

“No,” Eddie said firmly. “Not while he’s paying me, anyway.”

She shrugged. “I guess that’s fair. It’s just...”

“That I have it so bad my only two thoughts are painting and Steve?” he finished for her.

“And me,” she agreed. “But pretty much.”

He put his head on her shoulder. “I’ve never fallen this hard for a person before. He’s sweet and funny and an absolute dork.”

Chrissy kissed the top of his head. “I’ll be good tonight. No bitching or being mean.”

Eddie snorted. “He’s also a queen bitch. So you can be you all you want. Just...”

She turned on the sofa, bringing her knees up to her chest. “But what?”

“When he starts gushing about something don’t...” he floundered for the right words. “Just don’t make him feel small about it.”

Chrissy tilted her head to side. “Has people made him feel small about his interests?”

Eddie nodded. “I think his parents were like yours, if I’m honest.”

“Rich, entitled assholes who wanted a doll and not a child?” she asked bitterly. He nodded. She sighed heavily. “Yeah okay. You got me. I know the signs and will adjust accordingly.”

He threw his arms around her and gave her a wet sloppy kiss on the cheek.

Just then the doorbell rang.

“They’re here,” Eddie said nervously.

Chrissy leaned down to look at him. “Do you want me to answer the door to give you a second to prepare?”

He nodded.

She gave his hands a squeeze and gracefully slid off the couch to do just that. She bounded over to the door and threw it open. And yeah, objectively she knew what Steve looked like, but seeing him out of his trademark blue power suit was a revelation. And immediately she got why Eddie fell hard for this guy.

He was wearing a David Bowie t-shirt from his Ziggy Stardust era and tight, light blue jeans. His sneakers were Nike’s, and his watch was Schwartz but those were the only major shows of wealth.

Next to him was not what she was expecting either. Chrissy was expecting someone more bookish. Glasses, frumpy. Or even the extreme opposite, a fashion plate. Someone who fit the sexy secretary stereotype. But nope.

She was fashionable, Chrissy had to give her that, but not in the way she thought. Billowy pants with a long-sleeved button up with sleeves rolled up to her elbows and pair of colorful suspenders. Her blonde hair was artfully tousled and she had freckles on her nose and cheeks.

In short, Chrissy was in love.

“Hi!” she greeted as though her heart wasn’t going to leap out of her chest to prostrate itself before this lovely maiden, only for her stomp all over it.

“Hey,” Steve smiled back. “You must be the agent/best friend, Chrissy I’ve been hearing so much about. It’s nice to put a name to the face.”

The woman elbows him. “Face to the name, dingus.”

Steve flushed. “I’m so glad I have you here to correct me.”

“Come on in,” Chrissy said warmly, moving out of the way for them to enter the loft. Inwardly she briefly wondered if maybe the best friend was the cause of the “limiting” as Eddie called it.

“Thanks!” he said and then pointed to the woman next to him. “This is Robin my platonic soulmate, best friend, and all around Stevie wrangler. I don’t know what I would do without her.”

“Aww,” Robin said with a smile and hip check.

Steve stumbled but laughed, too.

By the time they reach the living area Chrissy still wasn’t sure what to think about these two.

Eddie leapt to his feet at the sight of them.

“Stevie! Robin!” he greeted brightly. “You found the place okay?”

Robin nodded. “I’m glad you gave us directions on top of the whole GPS otherwise we would have ended up in some cemetery.”

Chrissy grimaced. “Yeah. But that cemetery was here before the condos and high rises so I can’t complain. Even though I really, really want to.”

“How old is the cemetery?” Steve asked eagerly.

She looked over at Eddie for help. “I don’t actually know.”

“Uh...” Eddie said unhelpfully. “I don’t know exactly but I know it’s over a century old.”

Steve lit up. “That’s so cool.”

“You like old graveyards, Steve?” Chrissy asked. She sat down on the sofa and grabbed the bag of popcorn.

“Steve is obsessed with them,” Robin said playfully.

“Am not,” he said and then turned to Chrissy and Eddie. “I’m really not. I just think it’s super neat.”

“What makes them so neat?” Eddie asked, taking the beer from Steve and setting it on the table with the array of goodies.

“Like seeing a bunch of people with similar death years knowing that it was because of a pandemic,” Steve said. “Or on Memorial Day going to see all the American flags for those that died during war time. It’s all just endlessly fascinating.”

“I could take you some time,” Eddie said. “Have a picnic lunch, make a day out of it.”

“You’d do that?” he asked eagerly.

Chrissy bumped Eddie’s shoulder. “Eddie here likes graveyards because they’re spooky.”

Steve laughed. “That’s a great reason to like graveyards.”

They settled down to watch the movies Eddie had picked out for them. A double feature of “The Hobbit” and “The Return of the King”.

“Holy shit!” Steve said afterwards. “How did they get more faithful to the books in less time than Peter Jackson?”

Eddie laughed. “Good story telling.”

They finally left for the night and Eddie closed the door behind them.

“Thoughts?” Eddie asked.

“And prayers,” Chrissy said. “Holy fuck do you have it bad. And I’ll swear under oath that if there is a god, he made Steve especially for you.”

He blushed. “Fuck, you can’t say that.”

“Why not?” she asked raising an eyebrow.

“Because it feels that way for me, too,” he whined, “and if you think that too, then I’m royally fucked.”

Chrissy sighed. “Yeah.”

***

Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

@spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @pyrohonk @a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @rozzieroos @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @emly03 @bookworm0690 @itsall-taken @vecnuthy @bookbinderbitch @redfreckledwolf @littlewildflowerkitten @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @scheodingers-muppet @mira-jadeamethyst @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @genderless-spoon @anne-bennett-cosplayer @irregular-child @carlprocastinator1000 @mogami13 @samsoble

#my writing #stranger things #steddie #ladykailtiha writes #christmas #artist eddie #businessman steve #autistic steve harrington

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aesterblaster · 2 months

Text

Bad Dogs Can Learn New Tricks

Which Blue Lock Characters Have Gone To Therapy, In My Humble Opinion. (+ Who Desperately Needs To But Hasn't + Who Might In The Future)

Warnings: Some spoilers for way past the U-20 Arc, also not an extensive list of characters, honestly kind of funny. I wasn't trying to be TOO serious

Songs: Falling Behind / Laufey , The Main Character / Will Wood , Nothing's New / Rio Romeo

Has Gone To Therapy And Loves Their Therapist Gang

-Anri, There is no way she is able to have that much patience and take that much shit from corporate without having a therapist. I think she uses like 1/5th of her paycheck on books about improving your life and stuff like that LMAO. Her therapist is also a woman so it helps her to have someone who understands her frustrations with not really getting credit despite being one of the founders of Blue Lock. Also sometimes she gets worried she's unethical towards the boys so that weighs on her.

-Kenyu, Look it's still in progress ok? He was just starting before he came to Blue Lock. Once he realized he was going to lose his vision he started working with a professional and found it really helpful. In fact they were the one who encouraged him to go after Blue Lock in the first place. One of the reasons he was so quick to say sorry to Isagi is because he has those #coping skills.

-Gagumaru, After having a run in with a bear in the woods he kept having nightmares and his parents made him go to therapy. Well it was kindddd of therapy..it was a hippie who's a family friend. That doesn't mean he doesn't know grounding techniques. He even taught Naruhaya how to calm down from a panic attack once. But yeah, he doesn't really tell people that he went to therapy

-Snuffy, After his best friend's death he went to therapy ASAP. The type to only call his therapist once every 5 months and still have a rock solid relationship with them. His therapist helped him break his womanizing habit and realize that he's enough all on his own. 100% did some soul searching and stepped away from the scene. He also combined the therapist with a personal trainer to really max out his healing process. 100/10 dude for it.

"I Have Gone To Therapy And It Didn't Work" Crew

-Chigiri, Similar to Kenyu, his parents thought he might need some mental health help after the trauma of thinking he'd never be an athlete again. But he was one of those cold shoulder my mom is forcing me to do this cases. He never actually worked through what he might do if this whole thing falls through. Also snarkiness 100, his therapist almost quit because he was so insulting to them. Chigiri just felt ashamed that his parents even thought he should go in the first place and convinced his sister to also beg them to stop taking him lmao.

-Isagi, Okay at some point his parents realize he takes faliure wayyy too hard and tried to get him in therapy. When he talked to the therapist though the dude was like "Yeah, he's just competitive. Nothing wrong here." Alas, he's been masking for so long that he's incapable of revealing his issues to anyone who hasn't known him for 3 years or plays sports with him. Also, he convinced himself he doesn't need it and then idly imagines just going apeshit and killing his enemies to cope with stress...like bro...

-Noa, Why do you think he gets along with Isagi? All jokes aside, his PR people probably asked him to do it and he went and then secretly never went back. It honestly didn't work because he wasn't willing to give it a chance. And still isn't!!!! Would rather backflip off of a yacht than tell someone in a lounge chair about how growing up in intense poverty still haunts him sometimes, makes him question his worth and avoid conflict in day to day life. Sometimes he wonders if one day he'll wake up and find out it was all a dream....But nah he doesn't need therapy!

-Oliver, He was soooo close to actually getting his mental health in check but then his therapist retired. After that he got another really seasoned one and saw the amount of case files in his desk and just felt like a straight up burden. One of those "other people have it worse" and "it is what it is" guys. He's very open about his emotions and feelings so he just talks to his friends when he's really struggling. (Even though Sendou never says the right things-) Like yeah it's their job but why bug these nice people when sex?? Why talk about issues in sessions when he can get drunk or go train for 4 hours??? Riddle him that?

The "I Need Therapy And I Know It" Team

-Ness, He has so many fucking issues. Honestly, despite his devout worship of Kaiser he does realize that his behavior isn't quite healthy or normal. Dude tries to show you a funny video on his phone and all of his ads are for Betterhelp. Genuinely trying to figure out a diagnosis. Yes he has looked up all sorts of personality disorders and no he doesn't think he has any of them (He has at least two). But again, Ness is self aware enough to know that some help or someone to talk to who sees him as an actual human being would be nice.

-Niko, He cannonicaly describes himself as very very introverted and nerdy, also he hides his face. Tell me you were bullied in school or at least had an extremely traumatizing incident without telling me. Kind of never had anyone, just people who hung around because of his soccer skill or avoided him like the plague. He is that guy who will rant about "society" online for hours and fantasize about moving to a different country thinking he'd get better treatment there. Cripplingly lonely and self conscious at the end of the day, in all honesty. Also he genuinely wants a therapist but just can't afford one.

-Hiori, Obviously his parents are the ones who stop him. He tries to go and his mom realizes where he's making her drive him and swerves off. Even when he gets his license, you just know they're tracking everywhere he goes. He doesn't have enough privacy to really get better like that, Hiori has to wait until he moves out. Still genuinely fucked up by the fact that Gagumaru has gotten therapy and he hasn't. Just listens to emo music and plays video games and pretends that that fixes everything. He's totally releasing a top-selling book about his horrible childhood after Blue Lock.

-Bachira, Is he outgoing and silly? Yes. Does he need better coping skills? Also yes. Men will tell you the most horrible and traumatizing childhood memories about getting jumped and then laugh it off, and it's him, Bachira is men. He ties to brush off his trauma with humor but it never really works. He knows that he genuinely needs to talk to someone other than Isagi or his mom about the Monster and how it was by his side for so long. But also never goes through with getting professional help, just thinks about it sometimes.

The "What's Therapy? Fuck You!" Group

-Kaiser, Oh god, don't even suggest it to him. I headcannon that mental illness kind of runs in his family. He's watched family members be taken away for being too out there and openly mentally ill so he has a reason to not trust doctors. Just associates therapy and things like it with abusive institutions. If he told a therapist all of his issues, he'd probably be sent to a psyche ward. Just the threat of being sent there single handedly kept him from killing himself or talking about his feelings when he was younger. He will continue to just be slightly abusive to the people around him thank you very much.

-Ego, Bro's got the government banning him from soccer and you think he's thinking of therapy? When Anri tells him he needs it offhand, he's like, revenge is my therapy. Insane as fuck but thinks that it's a good thing. He is not willing to talk about his issues to anyone, but especially not someone who will write it all down. Genuinely ruined a few relationships in his past because the main people he attracts are the "I Can Fix Him" people and it just never works. Suprisingly unself aware for how much he analyzes others.

-Barou, His main issue is just shame and failed gifted kid syndrome. But as soon as he's back up he's convinced he doesn't need help. Barou suffers from really high highs and really low lows but he also has the mental fortitude to handle it. He is a well adjusted and kind enough person outside of the soccer field so he never considers that he needs therapy. When he feels bad about himself he hits the gym but he's never really opened up to anyone and he sure isn't going to start once he gets more famous. Especially when he's seen as one of the best right now, can't risk his reputation.

-Rin, He's would rather gut himself with a sword than admit that his mental illness doesn't make him a cool loner wolf and just a lonely person who hasn't healed his inner child. Kind of just wants someone to baby him and tell him everything's going to be alright but in the mean time his barriers are up 24/7. He disdains therapy, thinks that he'd just be seen as a pay check and he kind of isn't wrong. Rin would rather pay money for expensive cleats than spend it for someone to suggest him breathing exercises. He also had a traumacore phase, but he'd rather not talk about it.

#every once in a blue moon my brain works #blue lock #bllk #blue lock headcannons #bllk headcannon #bllk anime #feel free to add on in tags #rin bllk #isagi yoichi #barou blue lock #ego jinpachi #kaiser michael #bachira bllk #hiori yo #niko ikki #ness blue lock #bluelock #chigiri blue lock #bllk fanfic

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callmelyc · 3 months

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Lances ex was terrible

He was the kind of ex that was really full of themselves, cruel, didn't like Lance spending too much time with anyone else (not that his ex girlfriends were any better).

So when they finally broke up everyone rejoiced. The demon had been slain!

Until...he came to get his shit out of Lances apartment because not only did he take his shitty wardrobe he also stole Lances precious baby blue!

His beautiful baby, his sweet meow meow, his darling princess.

But because Lance had no proof the asshat got off scott-free!

He'd cried for hours not knowing what to do and his stupid ex blocked him so Lance couldn't even attempt to beg for his cat daughter back. So he did what anyone would do, he complained online.

The comments flooded with people trying to come up with ideas until one stood out. Some guy with a photo of a motorcycle asking what this ex looks like.

Lance sniffled sending pictures in the replies and waited. He wasn't sure why anyone would want a picture but maybe the guy wanted it so he could keep an eye out? The reply didn't take long at all and it only baffled Lance further.

The guy, Keith K, responded in seconds "dw I can handle this."

Before Lance could even question anything Keiths status had switched to offline leaving Lance to read through other comments as possible solutions.

~•~

At 1am Lances phone lights up with a call. Now, normally Lance would ignore these, who responds to random calls especially at 1am?

But he looks down and it's the same name of the guy from earlier, Keith K. Lance will admit first a foremost he doesn't always think things through and come on now, he was curious to know how this guy got his number at all.

So lance picks up, groggy with sleep "hello??"

"I got ur cat back, do you wanna meet up for her or would you like to wait until later?"

That got lances attention. Now more awake he scrambles to get dressed "are you sure? Like ur sure it's my cat?"

"your name and number are on the collar"

"Where do you wanna meet?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that? I am the stranger."

"Yeah but ur a stranger that apparently saved my darling daughter!?"

Lance hears a small laugh on the other side of the line "I'll shoot you my location?"

"Sounds good to me."

The second the call ends Lance receives directions to a place 15min out and a picture of blue safe in a cat carrier. He's more than relieved to both see her and have proof this wasn't a dream, though he is still weary.

He shoots off a text to Hunk and Pidge with his location/tracking on in case something went wrong and Lance rushes out the door to go meet this stranger. They'll likely wonder what he's up to at this hour, maybe even spam call him in worry. However, Lance doesn't have the patience right now now when his baby is in some randos hands.

Pulling up to the 24hr McDonald's he doesn't even care that he's meeting a stranger anymore the second he sees his baby blue through the window. Lance rushes inside and the second she spots him she paws at the carrier door with a sweet little meow. He's cooing over her and letting her out to make sure she's safe when he finally looks up to see her knight in shining armor.

And wow....this guy is hot.

Dark hair, deep eyes, leather jacket and gloves.

Dude looks straight out of a Harley magazine despite the beat up pick-up in the parking lot Lance is positive belongs to him.

As blue snuggles into Lances hold he looks at Keith with the first genuine smile he's had in days "thank you, I-I don't even know what to say? I can't thank you enough how on earth did you manage this?"

Keith just gestures for lance to sit down across from him, so he does, and smiles "I have my ways."

Oh? Well Lance has to know now "go on share the deets. I can offer you whatever you want off the menu as payment."

The other man snorts "it's fine I'll share without pay...This time."

"Oh? How generous of you."

Keith leans forward on the table "your ex was already on dating apps. I pretended I'd take him on a good date and went home with him. The second he left to get pretty for me I took the cat and ran, he's a douche."

That...what not at all what Lance expected to hear. His jaw was on the floor. He laughed in surprised awe "you...you got my cat back by luring him into false security??"

Keith's brow lifts "what like it's hard? He's the one that fell for it and got uno reverse robbed. I don't know what you saw in him."

That only gets lance to laugh harder "yeah, I don't either."

They spend the rest of the early morning chatting and eventually exchanging phone numbers.

On the way out Keith stops him though "actually, I changed my mind I do want payment."

"Oh yeah? Like what"

He smiles "how about a date?"

Lance is left breathless in the light of the rising sun "you won't be robbing me now, will you?"

"and if I say I am?"

"what do you aim to steal from me mr.criminal?"

Keith leans in just slightly "your heart? If things go well."

Lance gives him a quick peck on the cheek "yeah, yeah I can do that."

No one believes Lance when he says he got a new boyfriend because the guy stole his cat back from his ex.

#voltron #lance vld #vld #vld lance #lance mcclain #klance #keith kogane #keith x lance #keith voltron #i like giving lance crazy exs so he can meet keith #in case u havent noticed #inspired by a post idk where its from but its a ss of a ss #and a girls friend slept with a guy to steal a cat back #but keith doesnt even have to sleep with the guy here bc the ex spends too long in the bathroom #he doesnt really wait v long snyways he waits until he hears the shower and robs the guy #as he should as he should #he totally didnt see lances cute smile in his pf pic and immediately want to help #he wont admit it to a single soul

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sihtricfedaraaahvicius · 10 months

Text

Note: this request has been sitting in my messages for a long time. I wrote bits and pieces every now and then, but as it was a request which hit home hard, I ended up working a lot of real life experiences in this story, so I've shed a lot of tears too and often had to leave the fic alone for a few days. I really hope you will enjoy this read, @hb8301. Also, I loved how you requested Sihtric to be an MMA fighter, and therefore it had crossed my mind many times to work your request into the Fighter fic, but I didn't. I felt this deserved to be a standalone fic. Thank you for your patience, again, I hope it's worth the wait. also, for everyone: go here to get familiar with the symptoms of breast cancer.

Warnings: angst/fluff. focus point is reader having breast cancer and getting treatment. spoiler alert: happy ending!

pairing: Modern!Sihtric x you (f)

Summary: Sihtric was away from home, preparing for his next fight, and you had to tell him some bad news when he got home. And together, you had to face this battle.

Word count: 5,5k

Masterlist

'Don't call me Bambi.'

*****************

A few days ago you suddenly discovered a little lump in your breast, and it had freaked you out. You went pale and started to tremble, hoping your gut feeling was wrong, but you knew better and immediately made a doctor's appointment.

Sihtric, your long time boyfriend who was also a prized MMA fighter, was preparing for his upcoming fight, which was scheduled in 5 days and, with your permission, was spending the last week before his fight at a secluded training camp with his team. This was something he always did, as his mind had to be clear and his only focus should be to win that fight. You didn't like being without him for a week, but you supported him, knowing he would mess up his chances of winning if he didn't go to camp, because you knew he could not resist the temptation back home; you.

You wouldn't see Sihtric until next monday, the day after his fight, and you weren't present at his fight because it was abroad this time. Sihtric had reluctantly left you back home, but he understood and said he'd video call you every day, which he faithfully did.

*************

'Hey, gorgeous,' Sihtric smiled when you appeared on his screen, and he raked his hand through his long, messy hair as he sat back against a wall at the gym. You heard the sound of gloves punching bags in the background and you figured Sihtric actually didn't have time to talk, and called during a short break.

You chuckled and felt yourself blush at his words and at the sight of him. After all these years you were still in love like a pair of teenagers.

'Hey, handsome,' you said as you switched on your night light and sat up in bed.

'Did I wake you, honey?' Sihtric frowned. It was only 10 in the evening and he knew you were a night owl, just like him, so he was surprised to see you in bed. 'Are you okay, baby? You look a little pale.'

'I'm fine,' you lied, 'how's training? Still going at it I see?'

'It's going well. Fight's getting close now,' Sihtric shrugged and stopped mid sentence as he looked at you. He scratched his short, well kept beard as he tilted his head to the side while he looked deep in thought. Sihtric picked up on energies and emotions really quick, and you knew he sensed something was wrong.

'You sure you're okay, baby?'

'I am,' you smiled, 'just tired. Had a busy day,' you chuckled lightly to which he smiled.

'Gotta keep yourself busy,' Sihtric said before he looked up at someone who wanted his attention at the gym, 'yeah, 5 minutes, okay?' he looked back at you, 'I don't have much time today, my love, I'm sorry. Few more days, then I'm all yours again.'

'I miss you, Siht,' you suddenly said with a trembling voice, which he picked up on as well.

'I miss you too, sweetie. But what's going on?'

'Nothing, babe… I just… I wish you- you were home,' you suddenly let out a sob and started to cry.

'Honey?' Sihtric jumped up, alarmed, and as if he could just run over to you, 'baby? What is wrong?' his eyes darted all over his screen as he watched you cry, feeling completely powerless as he was a 6 hour flight away from you.

You couldn't speak, you only shook your head and tried to smile through your tears.

'Baby, do I have to come home? Did something happen? Talk to me, love. Please, say something?'

By now the gym had gotten quiet, as everyone had heard the alarmed tone in his voice after he they saw him jump up. But like Sihtric, they had no idea what was going on.

'No- no,' you said, trying to control your emotions, 'I'm just really tired… I miss you…'

'Where is this coming from, little deer? It's not the first time I'm away from home like this...'

You smiled weakly at the way he called you 'little deer'. Sihtric had called you 'Bambi' when you first started dating, because he loved the way you looked up at him with your big eyes, and he said you reminded him of a deer. You thought it was cute but you said you didn't like being called 'Bambi', because the movie made you sad, as Bambi's mother died and Bambi also got shot, so it always made you think of death in a silly way. Sihtric had smiled sweetly at you when he said that Bambi survived and lived happily ever after, but you just couldn't get used to it. So he called you 'little deer' instead, which you thought was sweet.

'I don't know,' you sniffled, 'guess my hormones are all over the place again, you know, full Moon and all that…'

Sihtric snorted and rolled his eyes. 'You and your Moon phases,' he smiled, 'I will fight the Moon next, I swear, because I hate seeing you like this and apparently the Moon's to blame.'

You smiled again and wiped your tears.

'Hang on for a few more days, okay, baby? I'm home soon again, love. I miss you, I love you, and I can't wait to hold you and kiss you and feel you in my arms again,' Sihtric said softly before he looked up at someone in the gym again. He nodded and looked back at you and sighed. 'Hey, I gotta go, I'm sorry, honey. Promise me you'll be okay?'

'I will be okay,' you hoped.

'Good. I will be there again soon. And if you need me back home, any time, I don't care when, even if it's an hour before the fight, you call me, okay?' Sihtric rambled on, 'call me and I come straight home, yeah? I love you, baby. Miss you. Sweet dreams, sleep tight, text me when you're up?'

'I will,' you smiled tiredly, 'I love you too, honey. Good luck with your training.'

'Thank you, baby. I'm going to win this fight for you, and every fight after this one,' Sihtric smiled, 'sweet dreams, little deer.'

He blew you a few kisses, which you returned, and then you both ended the call. You couldn't wait to see him again, but you were also dreading his return home. Because when he got back home, you'd have to tell him that you had been diagnosed with breast cancer stage 2.

*****************

Sihtric had won his fight. You had seen it live on tv and you had been running and screaming through your living room as you saw it happen. And for a moment you had forgotten all about the illness that had made a home inside your body. Until Sihtric was briefly interviewed after the fight, in the centre of the octagon while being surrounded by his team, and he had thanked everyone for their support before he turned to look straight into the camera and yelled, 'I know you're watching, little deer,' he winked, 'I love you, I fought and won for you and I'll be home again tomorrow, baby!' and Sihtric had kissed the camera before his team dragged him back to celebrate his win.

You cried when you saw it, because you loved him, missed him and you were so proud of him. But you also cried because you knew he would not take the news well, as he always told you his biggest fear was losing you.

*****************

'No,' Sihtric scoffed as he held your hands, 'no,' he shook his head and he looked at you, confused with a half smile, as if waiting for you to tell him it was all a really bad joke. 'I don't understand,' he went on, 'are… are you sure? I mean, hospitals make mistakes, right?'

You said nothing as you watched his smile slowly fade.

'I mean… they… they,' Sihtric swallowed hard, 'can they run the tests again?' his eyes darted over your, surprisingly, calm face. 'They can check again, right, baby?' his voice became shaky as his lower lip startled to tremble, 'baby, they- they made a mistake? It has to be… I… they're wrong…'

'Sihtric,' you whispered and squeezed his hands. Your eyes teared up as you saw his tears fall down.

'They… I- I will call them,' Sihtric became angry, 'they'll run those fucking tests again and see they're wrong! I don't care how much it costs! They made a mistake!'

'Honey, please,' you whispered, 'it's not a mistake, I-'

'No!' Sihtric jumped up, 'they're lying!' he shouted through his tears and kicked over the dinner chair he just sat on. 'Fuck this fucking bullshit, fuck!' He breathed hard as his tears kept falling and walked to the garden door, which he kicked open with such force, it almost fell off its hinges, and you watched Sihtric storm outside, into the backyard. You saw how he kicked at the grass as he cursed and eventually kicked the birdhouse, which tipped over, and as he wanted to kick it again, he got his foot stuck in the house and aggressively tried to shake off the birdhouse from his ankle.

Sihtric had taken it exactly how you thought he would; not well. You had told him about the diagnosis and also made it very clear that it could be treated. It would be rough, yes, but you were lucky to have found it this early. With surgery and chemo, the doctors gave your recovery chances almost 100%.

But you were pretty sure Sihtric hadn't heard a single word after you had taken his hands and said, 'My love, I need you to really listen to what I am going to say, and please, don't freak out…'

****************

Weeks had passed since Sihtric heard the news and had destroyed the birdhouse, because his big foot had gotten stuck in it. Your surgery was now scheduled and you had started your chemotherapy a few days ago. The plan was to shrink the tumour so you could have breast conserving surgery.

You had been rather calm, despite everything. You had faith in the treatment and you felt it was going to be okay. Afterall; it is what it is. But Sihtric was a mess. He refused to leave your side throughout the day and at night he held you tightly in his arms.

Sihtric tried to be strong for you and helped out with every little thing, as if you were suddenly a fragile doll, and he freaked out every time you felt nausea, dizzy or had to throw up because of the chemo. But you weren't a fragile doll. You were still the same strong woman you were before your diagnosis. Except that you had felt rather sick after each chemo treatment, but other than that, you were okay.

Regardless, you let Sihtric do whatever he wanted to help you with, because he just didn't know how to cope, and you could tell. Sihtric told you he was fine, but you knew he barely slept. At night, he would often stay up a little longer than you, and said he just wanted to watch some light tv before he joined you in bed, just to take his mind off things. But each night, when he thought you were asleep already, he'd simply break down and cry on the couch. And each night you would hear his long, desperate grunts, which he tried to muffle as he screamed and cried into a pillow downstairs, but his heartbreaking bellow simply cut through everything.

And each night you wanted to hold him in your arms, tell him that everything would truly be okay. But you knew he was simply afraid and that he was just trying to deal with this in his own way, which was different for each person, so you had to let him cry at night as it seemed to be his only outlet since he took a break from training to be with you. And when he joined you in bed after he had calmed down, an hour later, you would simply cuddle up and tell him how much you loved him.

'I would rather die than live without you,' Sihtric said one night, as he held you.

'But I'm not going anywhere,' you reassured him, 'I'm not leaving you. This is not how I go, I promise.'

'This is the one fight I can't win for you,' he said quietly.

'Then fight with me. I need you to fight with me. And I promise you, my love, this is not going to take me down.'

'You will have to bury me, before I bury you,' Sihtric said.

'Oh, I will bury you if you destroy another birdhouse I made myself.'

'I'm sorry, little deer, I will build you a new one,' Sihtric chuckled softly in your ear and pecked your cheek.

'Baby, you have two left hands,' you giggled, 'great for punching bags and opponents, but not for building me a birdhouse.'

'Is that all my hands are good for?' Sihtric asked, and you could hear him smile as his hand trailed down your body, 'or should I remind you what else I'm good at with my hands?'

You giggled when he snuck his hand down your panties. Despite everything, Sihtric still made sure you knew how much he loved you. And while you didn't feel well enough to have sex, because it was quite a workout with him, he would still pleasure you in a way that was comfortable for you whenever you wanted it.

****************

After your second week of chemo, things became a little harder, but Sihtric still was by your side 24/7. Except for that hour after you had gone to bed already. Then he'd either scream and cry in a pillow, or go to the gym in the basement and punch a wall, instead of a bag, until his knuckles bled. But during the day, he wouldn't show you any of his pain or how scared he still was. He only wanted to make sure you were as comfortable as possible.

'Sihtric,' you said one night.

'Hm?' he hummed, looking down at you in his arms.

'What if… when I- I start to lose my hair…' you tried not to cry, because out of everything, that is what you feared the most. Which was ridiculous actually, but you couldn't help it. 'Would you s…shave my head?'

Sihtric clenched his jaw when he saw you tear up, and swallowed hard.

'Would you want me to do that?' his voice was soft.

You nodded silently.

'Then of course I will,' he sniffled, 'everything for you, my love, always.'

'Would… would you still love me when… when my hair…'

'Don't be silly, baby, of course I will. Always.'

***************

You just finished your 3rd week of chemo.

You got out of the shower and blow dried your hair, as usual, but when you raked your fingers through it, you suddenly pulled out full locks of hair. You gasped and dropped the hairdryer, which broke in five pieces as it hit the floor, and about three seconds later you heard Sihtric storm up the stairs.

'Baby!' he yelled before he bursted into the bathroom, 'hey!'

He knew you had been feeling tired and a little dizzy, so he worried you had fallen or simply fainted. Sihtric froze when he saw the broken hairdryer on the floor. And then he saw your crying face and your trembling hand, with a whole strand of hair tangled around your fingers. And without thinking he raked his own fingers through his long hair and looked bewildered. You took a deep breath and looked at him.

'I need the… the ha- hair clipper.'

Sihtric nodded and was quick to grab it and plugged it in. He looked at you and pulled you close.

'Do you want me to do it?' he asked softly, 'or will you try it yourself?'

'I'll… try it.'

Sihtric helped you with the settings as you both sniffled, and he got behind you as you looked in the mirror, ready to shave your hair off, for the first time in your life. He wrapped his arms around your waist, holding your trembling body tight, and he kissed your cheek several times.

'You got this, baby,' he whispered, 'you'll be so fucking beautiful, I just know it.'

You chuckled lightly through your tears and brought the hair clipper up… but you couldn't do it and broke down in tears again. Sihtric took the clipper out of your hands and held you even tighter.

'It's okay, my love,' he hushed you, 'don't be afraid. I know you don't want to hear it, but it will grow back before you know it.'

'I know, just… just do it, Sihtric, just get it over with,' your shoulders jerked as you cried.

Sihtric moved around you and took your chin gently, lifted it slightly up and he kissed your lips, pouring out the endless love he felt for you.

'I love you,' he whispered, 'no matter what, Bambi.'

'Don't call me Bambi,' you sniffled with a small smile.

'Actually,' Sihtric said, 'I will call you Bambi. You know why?'

You shook your head as you watched him move behind you again, and you felt his arm back around your waist.

'Because,' Sihtric said as he looked at your reflection, 'Bambi was a bad bitch who lived happily ever after.'

You snorted and wiped your tears.

'And guess what?'

'What?' you sniffled again.

'You're a bad bitch who will live happily ever after too,' Sihtric winked, and then asked if you were ready.

You said you weren't, but told him to just do it. And he did. You closed your eyes and hid your face behind your hands as you felt your hair fall down your shoulders, over your bare arms, onto your bare feet. And when he was done, you felt Sihtric press a kiss to your shaved head and he told you that you still looked like 'a fucking goddess'.

After a long moment you finally opened your eyes and you cried at your reflection. It wasn't that bad, but you simply hated it and felt like you weren't yourself anymore. You had considered a wig, but you knew it would also raise questions, so you'd rather just be bald.

'Baby, don't cry,' Sihtric tried to hush you, 'you… you can wear beanies?'

'Baby, it's fucking summer!' you cried out, 'I… I can't hide this. Everyone,' you scoffed lightly, 'everyone will fucking stare at me, and they'll know. They'll just know and they will fucking stare and they will pity me. And I don't want any fucking pity!'

Sihtric sighed and looked at you. He honestly thought you were still breathtaking, and he hated the fact you were worried people would stare at you and treat you differently once they saw you without your long locks.

'I'll give them something to fucking stare at,' Sihtric huffed and switched on the hairclipper. And before you could even react or stop him, he started shaving his head.

'Baby, no!' you gasped, but it was already too late. You expected him to shave it all off, just like you, but he didn't, and he stopped almost halfway up his head.

'There,' Sihtric said as he rubbed one hand over his freshly shaved side and raked his other hand through the curls he had kept, 'that'll give them something to stare at.'

****************

You had gotten used to Sihtric's haircut rather fast, and you thought it actually looked really hot and you said he should keep it. He told you he might, and said he loved the way you looked too, and wouldn't mind it if you would shave your hair off again in the future some day. But you said you probably wouldn't.

About a month has passed since your chemo and your surgery was scheduled for tomorrow.

'You know,' you said as you picked at your dinner, 'you should pick up your training again, Sihtric.'

'I will when you are healed.'

'No, babe,' you smiled softly, 'don't neglect what you worked so hard for because of all this. You can still do your own things while I recover. In fact, it… it would be good for you to pick up your regular life again too.'

'My life isn't regular right now!' Sihtric raised his voice and slammed his fork down. Then he buried his face in his hands, trying to control his anger and stress about your surgery tomorrow. 'I'm sorry, baby,' he said softly and took your hand, 'I… I can't focus on anything else but you. Picking up my training would probably only do more damage as I will fight with anger, without thinking straight.'

'I understand,' you said, 'but I will have to stay over in the hospital for at least a few nights. I need to know you will be okay on your own.'

'But I'm not going back home,' Sihtric scoffed, 'I will stay with you.'

'No, you can't-'

'I'm not leaving you alone in the hospital!'

'I don't know if that's a possibility, Sihtric.'

'I will not leave you,' he said again.

And you stopped arguing, because you knew he meant well. So you kissed his lips and his bruised knuckles, which you had already told him off about earlier.

****************

'You got everything?' Sihtric asked, just before he was about to drive you to the hospital.

'Yeah.'

'Actually,' Sihtric said and took your hand before you could walk out the front door, 'there's something…,' he reached into his hoodie and suddenly got down on one knee, 'I… I know this is not the… there's nothing romantic about this. And I'm sorry, but I- I couldn't let you leave without… without knowing if you- you will marry me?'

Sihtric held up a ring to you. You were stunned and started to cry, again.

'Of course I will,' you blubbered as Sihtric slipped the ring on your finger and kissed you while you both cried.

'I will marry you as soon as all of this is dealt with,' Sihtric promised.

***************

'What do you mean I can't stay the night!?' Sihtric said, heated.

'I'm sorry, sir, but your girlfriend-' your doctor tried to speak.

'Fiancé!'

'... F-fiancé needs to rest. She will be allowed to have visitors between 10 and 2 tomorrow.'

'So I can't even see her now?!'

'I'm sorry. The surgery went well but due to the chemo that affected her body she will need rest now.'

'No… no, I want to see her,' Sihtric scoffed, 'you can't keep me from seeing my fiancé!'

'Sir, I will have you removed if you will not listen. I am sorry. I understand this is very hard to hear-'

'What the fuck do you possibly understand about this?' Sihtric spat as he towered over the doctor.

Sihtric was ready to throw a punch, but then he remembered you had told him to behave, even if he wasn't allowed to be near you, which you had expected. You said that if he would make a scene, he wouldn't be allowed to see you at all anymore until you came home, and you didn't know when that was.

'Fine!' Sihtric snarled, 'I'll just wait here then!'

'You can't…' the doctor tried, but gave up.

Sihtric threw his jacket on the floor, next to the door to your room. He sat down, crossed his arms, and looked up at the doctor with a clenched jaw.

'Savages,' the doctor muttered, 'all of them fighters are savages.' He threw his hands up as he shook his head and walked away.

And Sihtric would wait. He slept on the floor in the hallway, while it was actually not allowed, but the poor old man that was the night security guard didn't dare to wake him up and send him home.

*************

You had been awake for hours already but had no idea Sihtric was right outside your door, as he was not allowed in and no one had told you about his presence. So when you suddenly heard some commotion outside at 10 in the morning, you were a little startled.

'No, you said ten! It's ten now!' Sihtric said as the doctor tried to stop him from storming in your room at exactly 10 in the morning.

'Sihtric?' you frowned as he suddenly barged in with a panicked doctor behind him.

'Baby,' Sihtric said as he ran to you, immediately tearing up and he grabbed your face to kiss you.

You weren't sure if you felt dizzy because of the meds in your system or because the way he kissed you was incredibly arousing at that moment, but you enjoyed it all the same.

'You look rough,' you smiled when you looked at him.

'Yeah, they made me sleep on the floor,' Sihtric said as he glanced over his shoulder at the doctor, who threw his hands up in defence.

'What?' you scoffed lightly, 'but- but why didn't you just go home?'

The doctor huffed, 'that's what I sug-'

'And leave you?' Sihtric interrupted the doctor, 'never.'

**************

After a few days of hospital food you finally got to go home. Sihtric, who never left the hospital either before your release, drove you home while he looked worse than you. Back home, you showered together and he carefully helped you take care of the wound you had after your surgery, and he would continue to do so until it was all healed up.

'Would you not mind it if... the scar...'

'Baby,' Sihtric said, 'you think I will care that you have a scar? Have you seen my face?'

**************

'Darling,' Sihtric said a few weeks after the surgery, 'the guys have been texting me non-stop. They want to come over and see you. Are you up for that?'

'Of course,' you smiled. You slowly but surely started to regain your strength the past few days and felt more like yourself again.

'Can I invite them over tonight?'

'Sure.'

'We can order pizza and watch a movie. You want that, honey? You can pick whatever you want to watch.'

'I don't mind, Sihtric,' you chuckled, 'everything's fine with me.'

Sihtric had absolutely spoiled you since you came home again. Not a day went by that he wouldn't surprise you with flowers, balloons, teddy bears, of which you had about 12 by now, or simply with your favourite food or drink. He cleaned the house, did the laundry, he cooked, everything was fine with him, as long as you could just sit back and relax. And when you craved something at midnight but didn't have it in the house, he'd use his contacts to get it as fast as possible. He did everything for you, whatever you wanted.

Sihtric was also more than happy to please you when your sex drive slowly but surely came back again. And he was as good with his mouth and tongue as he was with his hands and fingers. You weren't fully ready yet to have sex with him, but you did obviously long to see and hear him being pleased as well, but he wouldn't let you do anything on him right now, not until you were fully recovered, because you were still tired rather fast.

'What if… what if I just kiss you, and you… you know…'

'Jerk off?' Sihtric grinned, 'yeah, that'll work for me.'

That problem was solved rather quickly. It became an almost daily routine you both enjoyed, and you even had to clean yourself up fast, minutes before Sihtric's friends came over.

You opened the front door and were greeted by Uhtred, who held (another) gigantic teddy bear, Finan, who held a couple of balloons, and Osferth, who held a large bouquet of pink roses. They all hugged you and shed a tear. They hadn't seen you or Sihtric since this all had started, as Sihtric had isolated himself completely to take care of you.

'You look good,' Uhtred smiled, 'the bald look actually looks great.'

'Right?' you laughed, 'I got used to it. But I can't wait to have my long hair back again.'

'And you will look just as pretty,' Finan smiled.

'You are beautiful no matter what,' Osferth blushed as he handed you the roses.

'Thank you,' you chuckled as you heard Sihtric enter the hallway and the men all cheered.

'There he is!' Uhtred smiled, 'finally.'

'What happened to your hair, mate?' Finan snorted.

Sihtric had kept his half shaved cut, simply because you had fallen in love with it. You told the men about the day your hair fell out, and what Sihtric had done. And after that, they all sniffled and didn't dare to say another word about Sihtric's hair anymore.

'Oh, he also proposed,' you suddenly said.

'What?!' they all yelled, after which they pulled you both in for a group hug and cried again. They were such softies, all of them.

You all sat in the living room as you waited for the pizzas to be delivered. Sihtric had pulled you in his lap and kept his arms tightly around your waist as he nuzzled your neck and cheek ever so often, and planted soft pecks whenever he could. Sihtric never shied away from displaying his affection when others were around, but he definitely became even more affectionate after your sickness. Sihtric still struggled to talk about everything, so he simply focused on you. And you told the guys everything that had happened since Sihtric had left for the fight. You all shed a tear when you told them why you had cried during the video call that one evening, and you all laughed when you said how Sihtric had gotten his foot stuck in the birdhouse.

'He promised he'd built me a new one,' you reminded him, to which you all laughed.

'I will, in time. I promise,' Sihtric whispered in your ear as Uhtred jumped up to open the door for the pizzas. You all ate and joked around before you moved to sit on the large couch together to watch a movie; Bambi. Uhtred sat on the far left, next to him was Sihtric, then Finan, and Osferth sat on the far right. It was a large couch, but they sat shoulder to shoulder.

'I guess I'll sit on the floor,' you joked as you saw there was no more space.

'No!' they all shouted, and Sihtric pulled you towards him. You sat half on Uhtred's and Sihtric's lap, while your legs rested on Finan and Osferth their thighs. And like that, surrounded by your favourite pretty boys, you had the best night in months because it all felt almost back to normal again. Which you needed, and Sihtric too. And as the home you lived in with Sihtric was rather large, the guys all stayed the night too.

The next morning you found the four guys in your backyard as they were building a new birdhouse from scratch. You wanted to offer them coffee, but Osferth came running and turned you around, saying you couldn't see the house yet. Sihtric followed behind Osferth to give you a quick kiss and to walk you back inside.

Hours later they yelled at you from the backyard and presented you with your new, one of a kind, birdhouse. You weren't sure how a bird would be able to get in the house, but at least Sihtric's foot would also not fit in the tiny opening either.

**************

It would take a while before you would be considered fully cured. But many, many months had passed since your surgery, and you were feeling pretty much back to normal again. Your hair had been growing again too, and it had gotten to a nice length, which Sihtric was absolutely smitten by as he found out he could braid your hair. He braided it the same way as his hair was braided during his fights, and he almost passed out when he saw how it looked on you. He loved it so much, he actually proposed again.

And speaking about proposals, you were about to get married. You and Sihtric decided to not wait any longer, as you had said you were feeling as good as "normal" again.

The wedding was small and intimate, in a cosy venue and only your close friends and family were present. Sihtric had grabbed onto Finan, his best man, because he was almost going to faint when he saw you walking down the aisle, with your hair braided, wearing a beautiful long dress and a smile on your face. Sihtric started sobbing the moment he took your hands, which caused you to cry too, and then everyone cried, so it was all a mess. But the best kind of mess.

You couldn't believe you were able to dance and party all night again, and you made the most of it, with your ridiculously handsome husband. And after the party, when everyone went home, Sihtric took you to a fancy hotel suite he had booked for the wedding night. And that night was the first time you had sex again, after everything that had happened. And it was the most incredible sex of your life, which you thought was pretty impressive, as it had always been good with Sihtric before. And the next morning, you'd have sex with him again. In bed, in the hottub, and on the floor. And you knew then that you were finally fully feeling like yourself again.

You couldn't possibly have a better start to your wedded life, and you couldn't wait to spend the rest of your life with Sihtric; your husband, your fighter and, which you would soon find out, the father of your first child. And Sihtric had been right all along, you would live happily ever after, just like Bambi.

*************

taglist: @clairacassidy @finanmoghra @uunotheangel @hb8301 @bathedinheat @neonhairspray @anaeve @bubblyabs @travelingmypassion @sylas-the-grim @heimtathurs @bubbles-for-all-of-us @andakth @chompchompluke @willowbrookesblog @lady-targaryens-world @skyofficialxx

[DM to be added to/removed from taglist! & don’t be shy to like, reblog & comment!🖤]

#sihtric x you #sihtric x reader #the last kingdom fic #sihtric fic #sihtric kjartansson #the last kingdom #sihtric #tlk #modern!sihtric

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catboybiologist · 2 months

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so I went to college for a year on my parents dime, but the second year I suffered from severe burnout and returned to live with my parents and went back to my high school job, and now I’m just utterly terrified of the future as my job doesn’t even pay enough to make rent much less any other of the other physiological needs and I despise my parents but any path forward that I can imagine involves being dependent on them and the second year of college got so stressful I can’t imagine myself ever completing a degree, and you seem to have your shit together to a degree and I don’t even know what to ask but I just feel so hopeless

I hope this response is at least a little helpful. You're cutting deeply at something that a lot of people have experienced. I sympathize deeply. It's okay. And to tell you the truth, I don't have my shit together, and I'm at a similar crossroads to you. I'll elaborate on my own personal path after the cut, but if you want some advice, here's mine:

You're not gonna power yourself through burnout. You're not a failure, and what you're doing is okay. You need to take a real, hard look at what makes you happy. Not what career you want, what makes you happy. If that's your career, wonderful. If it's not your career, that's great too. It's okay to pause to reevaluate. Give yourself the patience you need. You're okay, and you will figure it out. But you can't power yourself through burnout. Something has to change. I can't tell you what. You're gonna have to figure that out, unfortunately.

But don't try to suffer through a degree that will make you miserable. You have to plan for the future, of course, but you need to remember that you're living in the present as well.

So how do you go forward? As I see it, you have two options: go back to school when you're rested a little, but in a different field than before (or a different approach like trade school or an associate's degree), or try to find a path forward that simplifies your life enough financially to make it on your own. Neither are easy. Both are possible, but brutally difficult.

You can slowly dip your toes into either option. Find out alternate jobs. Take classes from community college or online in a variety of subjects. But if you don't want to do any of that, its okay not to as well.

Take your time with yourself. I believe in you. But remember to enjoy yourself when you can. It's okay to be hurt. But you can try to love yourself too.

My overall point is: if you commit yourself to misery, it becomes addicting. The longer you resign yourself to living your life in a way that actively burns you out and doesn't make you happy, the harder it becomes to break that pattern. I spent a while that way myself. You don't have to read further, but if you want to hear my own personal vent and relation to this, you can if you want.

To tell you the truth, I'm considering quitting my PhD at some point. I'm still very undecided, but right now, I'm basically holding out until I can take my summer quarter off. Even if I wasn't doing that to socially transition, I need that to figure out what I'm going do with my life, and whether I want to complete this degree.

I've done a LOT of things I regret. And they were all in the name of committing myself to my own misery, and a lot of that was tied to academia, and appeasing my family. At first, I started giving up on dreams I had that weren't academia related (Mt. Whitney was a huge one, and longer thru hikes as well). It snowballed into a point where I didn't know how not to be miserable anymore, and I was actively suffering through things that I refused to change, simply because

That's... why I delayed transitioning so long. The first and last thought on my mind about it, the entire time I was getting my undergrad degree, was about how transitioning would affect my education, and my career.

I only started posting my first "femboy" pictures online in Fall 2021. At the time, I was deeply engrained into a really, really shitty situation, that I was doubling down on because I didn't want to impede the progress of my master's degree. I was trapped. I started posting the pictures because, well, I was in "fuckit, if I wanna kms anyways, might as well get some fun in before I do it". If anyone wants more detail, I might talk in DM, but it would mostly be me venting. For you, anon, I think my details aren't that important. I'm still scared of talking about it publicly even now, and I still regret getting into that situation every day.

Getting out of that was my breaking point. I realized that I needed to start living my life for me. I chose my PhD institution and lab in part because of available LGBT acceptance and resources, and started HRT about a year into my PhD when I was a bit settled.

And I love what I do! I still do! I love science!! I still love biology and research and the coding I do for it and discussing it and presenting it and all of it!!!! But is it worth it? Does I love it enough? And can I keep doing it?

I need to figure it out. And it sounds like you do too. Your individual considerations may be different, but its ultimately the same consideration: how happy will this make you, vs how miserable it will make you.

And that is a HUGE question, that won't be answered overnight. You're right to take a break and tackle it. I believe in you <3

#cw suicide

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p-r-art · 1 month

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The Half Hashira Kap. 4

Muzan sped forwards and stopped right in front of me. I looked up at him, as I am clearly smaller than him. His red eyes. All I see in them right now is malice and destruction.

"It's enough for me that you're not under my control (Y/N). Disrespecting me is crossing your boundaries."

His right hand moved to my neck and slowly began to squeeze. But he knows he's not scaring me off. Rather the opposite.

"Muzan~" I spoke to him in an almost flirtatious tone.

He briefly lost his composure towards me.

This allowed me to free myself from his grip. I rushed behind him. I placed my right hand over his right shoulder from behind and my left hand ran over his left hip up to his chest. As I use my abilities I can look over his left shoulder by hovering. I grinned and brought my lips close to his ear.

"Muzan~ I know, let me make it up to you later when we're alone. And I'm sorry for my disrespect, but Tanjiro and his friends are fun and pique my interest in more ways than one~" I almost purr at him as my cheeks turn red and lewd thoughts flood my mind.

Muzan tenses up under me and, as always, doesn't know how to react when others are around. When we are alone, he knows exactly how to act.

"(Y/N) what do you mean by interesting?" Douma interrupted the moment.

I turned to him and carefully approached him in his robe. With my fingers, I grabbed his chin so he can look directly at me. Douma's cheeks turn red from my closeness.

"Douma~ what do you think we do when we're alone? Interesting in a way and because I want to see what else happens in the fights. If it gets too dicey, I'll save them and intervene." At the end of the sentence, I shrug and look at the Obermonde, who are still kneeling.

-I could never let one of the pillars die. They mean too much to me- It came into my head.

"You're testing my patience." Muzan finally spoke, but his voice didn't sound as harsh as before.

I giggled.

"My sweet upper moons I think it would be better if you left." I spoke calmly. Probably a little too calmly.

The atmosphere in the air became unbearable.

Long nails came out of my hands. The demons were confused and didn't seem to understand what was going on.

"I'm testing your patience demon king? Which one of us can go through the day and night? I think I am the perfection of us." I got louder and louder towards the end of the sentence.

Before any of the demons could react, I had ripped an arm off the black-haired man in the white hat with my speed.

"HOW DARE YOU HURT THE MASTER!!!" Akaza screams and tries to run towards me, but the injured demon king steps in and stops him. His arm had regenerated immediately, of course.

I could also feel his presence right behind me. His hot breath could be felt on my bare skin on my shoulder. It made me shiver. Muzan knows exactly how to get me.

"I know you're perfect. You are what I strive for. But there's something else I want..."

He paused and turned me round so that I had to look him straight in the eye.

"You. I want you (Y/N)."

I've known that for many, many years, but he also knows he'll never have me.

I smile, almost sadly.

"You know you'll never have me. And I think it's better if I leave now."

I looked at the woman sitting at the biwa. She played and let me disappear.

POV On Muzan and the upper moons:

"(Y/N)!!!" Douma shouted.

But the woman was already gone.

"Master how so you don't punish her for what she did to you?" Akaza said, still angry.

"Shut up number 3 you don't know what you're meddling in." Upper Moon number 1 interfered and silenced the other demon.

Silence reigned between them all. It was almost unbearable.

"Kokushibo will keep an eye on her when she's travelling with those ridiculous demon slayers." The man addressed nodded and disappeared immediately.

Everyone else disappeared as well and went about their missions.

"(Y/N)...Even if I have to wait centuries for you, you'll be mine eventually. Even if I have to kill your husband to do it." Muzan muttered, a maniacal smile appearing on his face.

#demon slayer #demon slayer x reader #kny akaza #kny x reader #rengoku x reader #x reader #anime #demon slayer smut #rengoku kyojuro #muzan #muzan kibutsuji #kny muzan #kimetsu no yaiba muzan #kokushibo #kimetsu no yaiba #yoriichi tsugikuni #demon slayer akaza #demon slayer douma

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cupfullofpapas · 4 days

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(Yes I'm reusing this image too busy to doodle a new one :''( life has been super crazy as of late ) Second Vol in The Assistant series: In the arms of a Devil Rated: E F/M Cardinal Copia x F!Reader Papa Emeritus IV x F!Reader

Also read it on my Ao3 here Previous Vol. : The Assistant Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Part 6: Scent Your patience was nearing its end as you stood by the window looking over the ministries garden watching your fellow siblings of sin some tending to the gardens, some sitting below the few trees that offered an abundance of shade, the weather had decided to act right for once and allowed everyone a day outside, you however, decided to stay indoors.

As much as you tried to convince yourself that things were okie dokie they weren't, you missed Copia like hell and your chest ached from it, well it was either that or allergies or perhaps both. You've considered talking to Gemma, the only Prime mover you knew of who had been with her Papa during his touring era.

Each time you went to talk to her you gave yourself excuses not to bother her those excuses now becoming ridiculous.

With everyone outside enjoying the sunny day the Abbey was quiet so you chose to sit in the cafeteria once the walls of your dorm room started to get to you feeling as if they were closing in. Sitting down at one of the many tables with a muffin you had gotten from the kitchen, picking little pieces off of it like an overgrown crab.

Sweet Satan, you felt weird, you never thought you could miss someone this much you didn't even miss Secondo this much when he was out of the office for a long period of time... pausing you frowned, with all that had happened that sounded pretty harsh, being lost in thought you plucked another piece of the muffin popping it into your mouth followed by another.

"Child what's got you down in the dumps?."

The sudden voice made you jump looking up to see Sister Twist looking down at you her hands on her hips concern written all over her face. "Satanas, Twist don't spook me like that." The redhead only shrugged before sitting in the chair across from you the thing giving a slight whine.

"I forgot how cheesy these things were, you'd think with how much Imperator bitches about the budget and cash there would be a stockpile for new cafeteria chairs at least, things look like they're from the fuckin sixties" Twist snickered however when she didn't hear you join in either laughing or ragging on Imperator she knew something was on your mind.

"Hey." Twist snapped her fingers a few times getting your attention. "Talk to me, what's eating at you, and don't say nothing 'cause momma Twist knows." You rolled your eyes before answering. "Just with the tour and all and.." You trailed off looking for the right words. "You miss your man". Your cheeks turned a light shade of red nodding adverting your eyes from the older sister of sin.

"You miss Copia and you feel weird for missing him so much because you've never missed or depended on someone else who wasn't blood-related that and you feel like your heart is being ripped out through your rib cage." You opened your mouth to speak however Twist held up her hand silencing you.

"And even though you still talk to him on the phone or text it feels like it's not enough and yadda yadda." You stayed silent staring at her before uttering a little 'fuck you' which made the older sibling laugh. "There's nothing wrong with feeling this way, it's natural to feel this way when you miss someone you love."

Love, you did love him right?, you remembered the day you told Secondo that you loved him back when he declared his love for you the thought put an uneasy pit in your stomach which caused you to push the muffin aside, why were you even asking yourself this?, you just had teenage phone sex last night with the man. You felt a hand rest on your shoulder Twist wore a kind smile. "You'll know the answer when he comes back, sweetie." You smiled and rested your hand above hers the moment was short-lived as Lenti came running into the cafeteria.

"Twist! Omega, Divine, Alpha, and Terzo are fucking in the music room again!." "Oh for the love of sweet Satan, those fuckers are gonna get a boot up their ass." "Careful they might like that." You chimed in as Twist pushed the chair in heading to the music room complaining the entire way, the last time those four got into it in the music room Pebble's drumset was a casualty and Sister Imperator was furious about having to buy a whole new set for the ghoul. The sound of something hitting the floor and the yelling of Imperator's voice pulled you from your thoughts. "You daft idiots!, Be careful with this equipment it's very important and very expensive!." Getting up from your seat you wandered over to the door seeing that the ghouls were moving a bunch of medical equipment, was someone sick?

"Sister?." you asked stepping from the cafeteria, Imperator turned quickly to face you a smile coming to her face her demeanor changing quickly. "Hello dear." "What's all this?." "It is for Papa Nihil when he gets back from tour with Cardi, don't you worry about it I have everything under control" She offered the fakest of smiles before following the ghouls walking away her red heels clicking and clacking on the floor.

The 'short time apart' felt more like years apart the only good thing that happened in your opinion was that Sister Imperator had given you the option of going back to your old dorm room or staying in the current one alongside Copia given the fact that you two were an item, you of course chose to stay in the shared room one because you did not feel like packing everything up and two once Copia got back you were going to stick to him like glue.

Your day off finally came, the day when you could just lay around your dorm room and not have to worry about anything other than flopping your face into Copia's pillow and breathing in the fleeting scent you hadn't even bothered to change out of your pajamas.

Rolling over in bed you went face-first into the soft depths of your Cardinal's pillow breathing in-- it was then that you realized that his scent was gone from the fabric, you started to think, what could you do? you needed his scent you needed to feel as if he was there, the worry was starting to set in, and then it hit you.. but were you that desperate?

.....Yes, yes you were...

Scooting closer to the edge of his side of the bed you opened the nightstand digging around in the drawer. Sometimes the lack of organization of his personal items got to you and made you want to shake him but on the other hand, it also gave you things to do. While you were on your search you looked at some of the things he had tucked away in there.

A list of numbers, a few unopened juice boxes, several pens, pictures, loose change, and receipts however it wasn't just any receipts they were from the couple nights you and him half-assedly eloped there was even one from the gas station. A smile had worked its way to your face as you looked over each one recounting each item there was also a list there in his scratchy handwriting of things you liked and didn't like, your smile only grew wider as your fingers slid over the indented paper following the pen marks the Chinese menu you both had ordered from.

You remembered when you accidentally launched a shrimp at the television screen that night, the memory earned a quiet laugh, putting the items back you were on the move again until your searching fingers finally found what you were looking for.

Closing the nightstand's drawer you sat up holding a bottle, it was Copia's cologne your thumb ran over the elegant lettering feeling the different textures on the label, after mentally telling yourself how crazy and weird you were several small sprays were sprayed onto his pillow and one on yourself.

The bottle was placed back inside the nightstand drawer, and the pillow now damp with the scent was turned over the damp side against the bed sheet once again you flopped face-first into it this time being hit with the strong scent of your man. You felt your whole body tingle and warm up as soon as you breathed in his scent your skin prickling with goosebumps, it made you giddy picturing Copia there with you tangled up in the blankets enjoying your time together.

It was weird sometimes, how a simple scent could make a body heat up, your thighs squeezed together dulling the throb that started as soon as his scent filled your nostrils, your mind thinking about those hands of his and the way they felt when he slid them along your body and gripped your soft flesh the smooth of the leather. Your hand has started to trace the patterns on your body picturing that they were his fingers, his palms, and you were a willing victim under his expert touches, your Cardinals name was whispered past your lips as your fingertips came to the swell of your pussy lips.

You could picture him there staring down at you, kissing you his fingers teasing you driving you wild, his tongue swirling with yours in the timeless dance of love. You were about to sink your fingers inside of yourself when there was a knock at the door making you halt your actions and look up. Rolling your eyes you stayed quiet maybe if you didn't make a sound whoever it was would just go away thinking that you weren't home, you thought it had worked but there the knocking was again, flopping your pillow over your face you groaned into it before getting up washing your hands and answering the door. Unlocking the handle and deadbolt you opened the door being face to face with Sister Imperator once again at this point you almost swore this woman was stalking you.

"Sister?." You asked doing your best not to sound annoyed. "Evening, I have some-- unfortunate news for you." -------------------------------------------- TAG LIST: Please message me if you would like to be added to the tag list! @thesoundresoundsecho @xpapaemeritus @copiasprincipessa @siouxbauhaus

#the band ghost #ghost #copia #cardinal copia #ghostau #papa emeritus iv #Cardinal Copia x F!Reader #cardinal copia x reader #papa emeritus 4 #papa emeritus iv x reader #Papa Emeritus x F!reader #sister imperator #sister twist #Divine ghoulette #ghoulette oc #ghouls #nameless ghouls #ghost ghouls #unmasked ghouls

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buccini555 · 1 year

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“𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝐴𝑟𝑒 𝐸𝑛𝑜𝑢𝑔𝒉” - 𝐾𝑎𝑘𝑢𝑐𝒉𝑜 𝐻𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑜

✮ H e a d c a n o n !

✮ 𝑭𝒕. 𝑲𝒂𝒌𝒖𝒄𝒉𝒐

✮ You were feeling insufficient and your boyfriend wasn't around to comfort you because he had to go to another city to sort out gang issues.

𝟎𝟎:𝟎𝟎 — It's already late at night and the only light that subtly illuminates your room is the one coming from the moonlight, in your bed, this you, with thousands of thoughts running through your mind disturbed by the cruel longing you feel at that moment, you check your cell phone several times sometimes, waiting for just one message from Kakucho, despite unfortunately knowing that he is busy, not because of him, but because of the fate he chose, gang matters demand a lot from his boyfriend, but even so, Kakucho always finds one way of communicating with you and saying everything is fine or at least lying about not getting into trouble and stuff like that.

Unexpectedly, your phone on the bedside table rings, you open a smile amidst a sea of tears because you know who that long-awaited call is coming from, Kakucho can't send you messages all day, so the anxiety just grows to finally hear his voice.

— I'm sorry I didn't call earlier, I was busy, I missed you, baby!

The boy speaks excitedly on the other end of the line, you can hear the tiredness in his voice despite the animation and you just answer him calmly.

Kakucho couldn't help noticing your tearful voice, he knows you very well, he always ends up finding out when you're sad no matter how much you don't want to show it.

— Baby? Are you crying?

He questioned and you can feel your boyfriend's concern, but you just replied that you was fine and just missed him.

— I miss you too, we'll see each other again soon, okay?

— Yes, Kakucho...

—Aren't you sleepy? Or did I wake you up?

—I've been waiting to hear from you.

—I'll do my best to get home soon.

Strangely, a feeling of melancholy washed over you, and clutching your cell phone tightly, tears started coming out of your eyes again.

— My love? What there was? Kakucho gets even more worried, but you just stay silent.

— B-baby?

The boy says repeatedly.

— Come home soon, please!

You make the request in a shaky voice as you try to wipe away the tears that fall onto your pillow.

— I will come back.

Kakucho tries to reassure you while planning something.

— I'm feeling so…sad…I feel like I'm not enough.

The call ended suddenly, you found it strange that your boyfriend had simply hung up, but this fact only contributed to your crying continuing, you just hung up the cell phone, thinking that Kakucho would have run out of patience and you closed your eyes to try to sleep and soon fell asleep.

A few hours passed and it was already dawn, when without waiting you woke up with the sound of a car parked at the door of your house, you quickly got out of bed to see what was going on, when you opened the window and looked at the street, Kakucho simply he was getting out of a car that you had never seen in your life with a bouquet of flowers and a smile on his face, quickly you went down the stairs and went to receive him, as soon as you saw him you questioned how he would have arrived so fast and in such a car you had never seen, he didn't even respond when he hugged you right after delivering the bouquet of flowers, you soon realized that your boyfriend had simply stolen that car and driven as fast as possible against all existing traffic laws just to make you stop to cry and feel good again.

— I told you I'd come home, didn't I? Kakucho smiled and hugged you even tighter, later handing you the flowers he bought in the morning to give you as soon as he saw you again.

— You are more than enough for me!

Kakucho gave you a brief kiss and finally you went up to the room, the tallest one was extremely tired from the rush trip, so you just ended up sleeping together and that was one of the many proofs of love you received from the best boyfriend.

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autogynocrat · 10 months

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So what’d it take to accept yourself as being trans and stop giving a shit about the potential repercussions that might’ve come out of that?

LONG POST INCOMING! PLEASE BARE WITH ME! IT IS VERY RAMBLY! BUT I HAVE A TL:DR AT THE END IF YOU DONT HAVE THE PATIENCE TO READ IT ALL!

i had been grappling with the existential dread for years that "one of these days you will be too old to be a femboy, people won't think it's cute for a 35 year old man to dress feminine, they'll think its creepy. you're getting older and aging like a man more every year and soon you will be just like the sissies boomers in poorly fitting dresses that make you so uncomfortable.

you're going to have to give up and become a regular man soon" in 2019 i thought i had accepted my fate, and hoped i could at least age gracefully. i had previously suffered from recurring boughts of discomfort and disconnect with my body, particularly the shape of my jaw, shoulders, and the beard(the beard was the worst thing, it would leave me paralyzed for weeks during the summer every year, ever since around age 20 i have wanted laser hair removal). but it was the though of having to give up and live the rest of my life as a man that was the straw that broke the camels back for me.

but only one year later thinking about it started giving me a really bad identity crisis, i started crying and panicking whenever i thought about how i would have to live as a man for the rest of my life, it was genuinely horrifying, and i felt like "twinkdeath" was creeping up on me, and i found that if I actually wanted hormones it was extremely easy for me to obtain them with just a little bit of my discretionary spending.

i had been talking with some of my trans friends about my issues with gender, that i didnt really feel comfortable as a man, even though at the time i felt like i could never be a woman, some suggested i could be nonbinary. i remember before i finally bit the bullet i talked to a friend who was a transwoman about my gender issues, and after finding that what i was going through felt very similar to what she went through before transitioning, i decided "well, theres nothing wrong with me at least trying hormones, if i dont feel better i'll just stop, its better than being forced to live as a man for the rest of my life"

during the early months of my transition, maybe even the first year and a half, i still kinda identified as a "hrt femboy" or a "nonbinary bigender boygirl" bc i did not feel like i was a real woman or anything, i was just taking estrogen because it alleviated the bad feelings and made me feel happier with my body. i wasnt sure about having boobs yet but i considered it an acceptable tradeoff because everything else made me feel good about my body. i did however, look into SERMs(a type of hormone regulator that can supposedly block estrogenic activity in the breasts) and even briefly used some.

HOWEVER, july of my first year on hrt i got my fateful job at mcdonalds. this period i actually unironically feel like shaped my gender identity to some degree. during the pandemic we all had to wear masks so nobody saw my clocky man chin or anything like that, they just saw my effeminate estrogenized little tits and my beautiful eyes. i got she'd a lot, called pretty, told i was a sweet girl by customers who liked me, and even customers who didn't like me still acted like i was a girl, as they called me a stupid bitch, and said shit like "she got my order wrong" "she was rushing me" stuff like that. being perceived as a woman felt good...i started to identify more with that

a couple times i doubted i was really trans, had some kind of imposter syndrome, that A)i was a fake trans because i denied it for so long, or B) that i didn't DESERVE to be trans because i used to be kind transphobic at times. i tried to stop hrt. every time it didn't take long before i became super dysphoric and decided go to back on it. after a few attempts i kinda realized i belonged on hrt. and when my tits became smaller from attempting to stop i actually felt sad about it, thats how i realized, hey i actually like having boobs, its not a trade off, its one of the benefits

and then bridget came out in guilty gear strive. VERY CONTROVERSIAL thing because suddenly the femboy everyone liked was trans. but. the thing is. i found that very relatable. bc i was also the femboy everyone liked as a femboy, but was kinda trans now, and people who thought i was "based" before, were disgusted at me now. idk. i had a "shes just like me fr" moment and decided i didnt want to keep hiding behind being nonbinary or "hrt femboy" anymore, i wanted to be a girl too. so i just came out and was like yeah i'm she/her pls and my followers who still liked me were like "yeah everyone already saw this coming lol u arent surprising anybody"

anyways yeah the tl;dr is that i basically realized at 25 i could not bear to live with being a man for the rest of my life and i would rather transition than have to be a man, i would rather risk being hated, would rather risk infertility, rather than have to be a man,and it led me to talk to other trans people privately and realize oh hey its not normal for having stubble to send me into a massive depressive episode and thats actually gender dysphoria.

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ghostykapi · 2 years

Text

keeping you close [please never let go]

mina & fem!reader // hurt&comfort aka angst with happy ending

tw: mentions of death, close death experience, blood, injuries, fights

when you were 10, you had been astonished and fascinated with the concept of professional dancing. it was surreal to your young self, that some people get to have fun while doing their job as if the sweat on their bodies didn't matter as long as they felt free to the wind

you weren't too naive too, you knew that once you dedicate yourself to the world of dancing, you would have to sacrifice alot of your time, patience and efforts to the craft. the memories that you wouldn't experience at all and the friends that you would gain and lose again and again

you still knew what you wanted, and so at age 10 you had your parents help you dedicate yourself to dance

it got harder as time went by, but your skills, dedication and patience had improved along the way. soon you found yourself holding a ticket to korea, as a job offer had risen. then in a blink of an eye you found yourself shaking hands with higher ups and JYP himself, solidifying your vision since 10 years old

then you met the love of your life after managing to sneak in your prized nintendo switch in the practice room so you can play during break times, myoui mina

it took years for both of you to get together, since she had wanted to first prioritze her career over other important things and you had respected that ever since. you didn't mind staying as friends but as you learned more of her, she slowly became a part of your inspirations for your dances and had become your muse

you didn't know what to do when the realization had sunk in after choreographing another dance and all you could think about while running through the steps was mina. you were scared to even ask a single soul what to do, yet you had asked mina if she wanted to eat outside to talk about it

she was stunned when you messily explained it to her with nervous eyes and twitchy hands, while eating ramen in a secluded street in seoul. it was surprising, of course, but also relieved because she didn't know how to hold herself back anymore to wanting you.

ever since noticing you more and more when you practice the steps with the girls, the way she performs on stage had changed. the mere thought of you gets her worked up before any perofrmace so bad that the stylists forget to put on some blush. all because her face would already have been a light red when it was her turn

it was hard to keep it a secret too, especially from her members to the point that you both just let it be when they found out after a month. nayeon and chaeyoung had laughed when they caught you both making out after a date in the living room thinking everyone was asleep. they had assured both of you that it was fine and even bought a celebratory pizza, to thank you as well for making mina so happy

it was great for the next 4 years of your relationship, until disaster stuck

you both had an ugly fight. it was bad enough that it led you to leave her room with tears running down your face and a stunned mina left standing near her bed. she couldn't believe that she had uttured those words and immediately regretted it the moment you finally let your voice crack when you announced that you needed space

"—and forget about our anniversary dinner this weekend! I didn't want to spend time with you anyway and I don't want to spend the rest of my life with you!"

"...what?"

you had completely stopped the moment she said those words and finally let your body shake while you sobbed. you felt your heart break even more as your mind went to the simple ring hidden in your apartment that you planned to give to mina. it broke you to hear those words and it broke her to see you suffer and leave, even dropping the flowers you were supposed to give her that day before the argument had started

now mina lies down on her bed, staring blankly at the wall while holding her phone that was filled with messages, pleading for you to come back and to talk, and missed calls. she didn't have the energy to go out, not when it's 3 am, but she couldn't sleep with the guilt eating her up inside.

mina had ran out of tears but still felt her eyes get wet again after sending another message, only to have the status stay as delivered, just like the other 57 messages she sent. she was getting more and more desperate but she felt her body get tired and screaming her to get at least some shut eye before finding you

her sleeping alone was never a problem, but sleeping alone knowing she must have broken your heart and trust has gotten her in a state of panic, guilt and shame

she then snaps out of her trance when she felt her phone ring. she breathed out a sigh of relief when she saw your contact pop out of the screen. to her it meant a chance that you were willing to listen to her apology and maybe give her a chance to love you like there was no tomorrow

"hello my love? please come back home I'm–"

"hello ma'am, just to clarify is this myoui mina?"

mina then felt her hope vanish and her blood run cold. who is this person and where were you?

"y-yes, who's asking? where is y/n and why do you have her phone?" she didn't want to think of the worse senario happening right now, not when the last interaction with you was her breaking your heart into pieces

"this is the hospital's er room. you were saved as miss y/l/n's emergency contact–"

mina's mind suddenly shuts down but she feels her body immediately bolt up from the bed, grab her essentials and run through the door

////////

when she managed to get to the hospital without breaking any traffic laws, you were already in the operating room, and the nurse along with the person who brought you here quickly explaining to her the situation

"she had saved me from a drunk guy with a gun after getting some food in the convenience store" the person explains "but she still got shot at the sides, thankfully she had a bag to act like it was a buffer but she's still hit pretty badly to the point she passed out and needs to be operated"

mina had to fight the sob that was threatening to come out of her, as she thanked them both for the update and for keeping you alive this far. she felt her heart ache and head spin as she sat down the waiting room. she knew you would make it, but the thought of never seeing you again had now made her mind into a chaotic frenzy

she waited for hours after calling her managers and members to explain the situation. they understood and had let all of them off their schedules for two days. the members then came by to company her in the waiting room

"friends and family of ms. y/l/n?" the doctor spoke and everyone turned their head towards the voice but only mina stood up to receive the news

"I have both good and bad news for you. the good news is that the operation went smoothly, the bad news is that she also has obtained injuries that will limit her movement by alot. cuts and bruises everywhere but managed to get some of her bones fractured–"

mina's mind was on auto-pilot and couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with the information. she sends a panicked look to her members and let them take over in taking note what will be needed to help you heal and get back to your feet

"—then I suppose you can see her now. please be careful" the doctor then leads them to your room before open the door, getting gasps once everyone has seen your state

mina wishes she didn't have to feel her heart hurt so much when she was looking at your sleeping body on the hospital bed, with many wires and bandages attached to you

"I'll leave you guys to it, the nurses will come in from time to time to check on her vitals" the doctor excuses himself out and as mina hears the door close, she is greeted with silence as they all processed everything

////////

you didn't know how long you were suspended in the dark and how long you wished you were in the comfort of your home. you didn't even know if you still have a home, after she broke your heart just like that.

you wish the fight never happened in the first place but the growing discontent of how distant she had been once your schedules didn't show any days both of you were free. you would only see her briefly during her practice before running to the next room to teach another group and during the late hours of the night after one of you comes home later than usual

you love mina, with all of yourself. you love her so much that the thought of being called her wife (at least legally in usa if she was alright with it) plagued your mind for many nights. you saw so much of your future with her and now you are at lost if it was actually the truth or in the heat of the moment if she said those words

then you were blinded by a white light when you woke up

you let your eyes adjust to the brightness of the room as you take in your surroundings. you couldn't move your head that much but you had noticed that all of TWICE was here simply speaking softly to one another trying to figure out what to eat as their dinner while their penguin had made her position to stay by your side. sleeping soundly with her head near your hand, softly grasping it as to not touch the wires and tubes attached.

even if you were hurt by her, she was still as beautiful as ever

"our y/n is awake now. y/nnieeee" you hear sana call out to you, letting you give out a faint smile "how you feeling?"

you tried to speak but feel you felt your throat itch and ended up coughing, ending up getting mina woken up from her slumber. momo helped you drink a glass of water before they went out of the room to call hmthe nurses and give you guys space to talk, but not without giving you some words of encouragement to rest so you can heal properly.

now it was just you and her, and you hated the way the tears fell down from her face, breaking your heart with the way you knew she was sorry. you slowly lift your hand up to wipe them away, trying to desipher what's going on in her mind

"how long was I out?"

"only a day"

"oh"

mina gives you a sad smile as she moves closer to you, letting her other hand softly grasp your face before giving you a kiss. a kiss that's trying to convey what she feels to you and you know that you can't let her go that easily

"I'm sorry" mina starts after pulling away "I'm sorry that I said those words my love. I know that it's not an excuse but believe me when I say it was a heat in the moment. I don't know what to do without you in my life, so much that I'm scared that if you were to leave me I would simply break"

"mina" you started but the way mina looks at you, as if you were to disappear, makes you unable to say anymore

"I understand if you don't want to continue this, us, because of what I said" the tears wouldn't stop and her voice starts to crack "I must have hurt you so much and I don't want to hurt you like that ever again, but if you let me stay in your life then I will love you better than before. I will do anything and everything for you, for us, if you let me."

you know that you would go back to her, from the moment you both had danced at 3 am running on coffee and sheer determination, to even now, in a hospital room with all kinds of things attached to you to keep you intact.

"if you let me stay" mina gently takes your hand that been wiping her tears and gives the ring finger a lingering kiss as a promise "I'll stay for the rest of my life with you"

"my love" you give out a tearful laugh as you let your tears run down your face "you know that I'll go back to you. I'm still upset and you need to make it up to me, but I don't want to let you go. so please keep me close"

"I'll keep you close, please never let go"

#twice reactions #twice imagines #twice senarios #twice imagine #twice x reader #twice angst #twice hurt/comfort #myoui mina #myoui mina imagine #myoui mina senario

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