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#what if cas was the reaper and reapers were angels and he fell in love with dean
hauntedpearl · 11 months
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i know it was supposed to be like. ironic at the time or whatever because it is literally a demon who did this but just. HMMM. unhinged show for unhinged people.
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To the Ends of the Earth
Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader
Warnings: Blood, mention of near sexual assault, angst, near death.
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It hurts! It hurts so much! I can't take this anymore! Somebody make it stop! I can't. I can't move, it's too heavy. My arms are too heavy. Somebody, please make it stop. My body screams at me to move, to try and fight, Do something. But I can feel the warmth of the blood draining from my body; tickling my ever-growing cold skin as the crimson fluid runs down my arms to the cold concrete below. The ropes were scratchy and scraggly digging so painfully into my wrists keeping me tied to this godforsaken fucking chair! I wish I could just move my body, even if just a little. If I'm going to die I at least want to die comfortably. Ah, it's pointless anyway. Soon I'll be dead. I can just feel it. What's there in the darkness? Did I see a shadow move? A soul reaper maybe? Coming to take me to my own personal hell? Or is it Death himself coming to unbind my restraints to gather me in his embrace and take me away. I'd met Death before. He wasn't as bad as half the people talk about him. But then there is the fact that half those people are liars. They don't know Death can walk among us, humans. And hey, the man likes pizza. Found that out when he ate half my large freshly delivered pizza I'd ordered for my hotel room. The bugger didn't even pay me.
Would I die here alone? Would I be missed? Did I do enough for this world to be in God's good graces? Am I going to die alone in this cold place after hours or was it days of mindless torture? I was so fucking stupid thinking I could take this one by myself. I was a hunter, I was trained by the best. But I let my big ego take control and oops here I am dying, bleeding out, and growing colder and colder by the minute in this underground bunker. They'd tricked me. It tricked me. I thought it was Dean. I thought that thing was MY Dean. So tired from the investigation the last few days chasing that son of a bitch that was taking the faces of innocent people to kill their spouses that I was so blind to not see that the Dean that I was sitting in my hotel room with was NOT my Dean Winchester. I noticed it too late. That glint in his eyes and no I don't mean that reflection shit on a camera that Shapeshifters possess. No, it was darker than that. The gleam, that look in his eye when I refused his advances. My Dean wouldn't have reacted like that; he'd just brush it off. If I wasn't in the mood he wouldn't press. But this Dean did and I fell right into his fucking trap too late to even attempt to grab my gun. So here I was. Being tortured by the face of the man that I loved. The man that I swore I'd marry someday. I didn't want to die. No, I cannot die, not today. Not ever. I must survive, surely there must be a way. How did this happen to me, what have I done wrong? I can't… Somebody, please help me. There must be somebody nearby, please help whoever you are, wherever you are. Dean, Cas…Sam, just fucking anyone for crying out loud! I don't want to die!
~
That annoying drip drop of the water falling from open pips above my head was annoying. But it kept me awake. Grudgingly kept me awake no matter how cold I was no matter how much blood I lost. If I came to think about it, it's actually quite peaceful here, I could stay here for hours. Not that I have a choice right now. No, I do have a choice. Give up or fight and I choose to fight. I will get away from here, as far away as possible until I've found help. Help, I need help to get out of here. I can't do it on my own, it's no use. No amount of prayer has allowed help to find me. My faith is weak at best. But I can still manage to reach Cas. Dean could do it and he has less faith than me. But Castiel always did have a softer spot for the hunter so perhaps it was some sort of angel thing that had him honed for Dean. Or it could be the fact there is a freaking graph of a symbol drawn in my blood beneath where I sat tied to my chair that blocked the angel's attempts to communicate or find me. Fucking shapeshifter had to tap into Dean's knowledge. Funny thing about Shapeshifters. They can tap into the thoughts and memories of those they imposter as long as that victim still lives. Maybe if I wait long enough the pool of blood will wash away and distort the image of the graph on the concrete below me. Just one drop will do…just one.
I'm cold. I wish there was somebody to hold me or something to warm me. I feel no pain, not any longer, but my body keeps shivering to warm itself up. But I'm still cold. I'm surprised I managed to last this long. I thought I'd bleed out by now and just waste away into a husk; into unconsciousness enough for my soul to leave my body. Freezing to death isn't half bad all things considering; I've seen a lot more gruesome ways to die so at least I should be lucky right? Right… The creak of the metal hinged of the bunker's doors grind on my brain like nails on a chalkboard but I don't have the energy to lift my head to check out the imposter wearing my boyfriend's face. Wait, were we actually considered in a relationship? I mean, Dean and I never actually talked about it. We sort of had this connection and boom next thing we fucking each other and spending a lot more time together than normal just friends would but no one ever complained about how it happened even if those words were not said to confirm. What are we like 13? We don't need to be asked out peh!
A rough hand grasped my face and jerked my head up just for me to stare into the shadowed face of a very pissed-off-looking Dean. But this isn't my Dean. I've already gotten good at noticing the differences. That curl of his lip and that glare in his eye was definitely not my cocky Dean. Because I knew this wasn't the hot supernatural hunter I was wishing for, I didn't mind gathering the combination of blood and saliva on my tongue and spitting it at his face within the next second. But that quickly backfired when my face exploded in pain as the fucker backhanded me hard enough for me to spit out a glob of blood. He'd knocked me over in the process too; my head had hit the pavement below with a loud crack that made my vision sparkle behind my eyelids. I groaned but what could I do? I couldn't move. Opening my eyes I realized I was lying near the edge of the graph on the ground and I chose one of two things. Fight or Die. I chose to fight. Given the opportunity that I had, I rubbed my head against the ground quickly; my hair was a mass but worked well like a mop to wipe and smudge the imprint of the blood on the ground. All this was done while the shapeshifter had his back turned; too busy studying his trays of torture tools off to the side of the room. Closing my eyes I pretended to be passed out and inside I was pleading; screaming, crying, anything that would get Castiel's attention to find me. I need his help and I didn't have much time or energy left.
I felt it then. That mind thing that telepathic creatures and beings had abilities of. Like a gentle caress on my mind. It wasn't intrusive but I could definitely feel the worry that the feeling projected. But I knew, I fucking knew he heard me and that very notion made a sob escape my chest. He'd heard me and he and my boys were coming to find me. I just needed to hold on a little bit longer; that's all I needed to do. But that relief washed away quickly as I was yanked back upright and I saw the glint in the corner of my eye. Fuck, what's one more slash to the arm to bleed out some more huh? I was going to make it. I knew I was, I just had to hold onto the little ray of hope. But my body rejected that idea. My mind was stronger than my body; I was only human after all so I wasn't surprised. Disappointed if anything when my vision began to get blurry and dark as unconsciousness crept from the corner of my vision. The sounds became muffled and far away like underwater. But I had enough feeling left in my limbs when the ropes were cut free and my body was flung to the ground only to be covered by a warmer body. My eyes fluttered open in time to see that silvery glint in the shapeshifter's gaze as his hands began tugging at my blood-stained clothes. I panicked, I could feel my heart threatening to burst from my chest. Was he seriously going to use my body?! I didn't have the energy to fight back; pins and needles in my cold limbs made it painful and hard for me to move my appendages. But that didn't stop the tears. I sobbed. I sobbed so hard I couldn't breathe. But you know what? My nightmare was over. Over in a bang; literally.
Blood splashed onto my face as the body on top of mine was blasted to the side and fell limply on the concrete beside me. A pair of strong hands grasped me and I screamed trying to fight but when I opened my eyes Sam was cradling me against his chest and stroking the blood from my face. The look of utter relief and horror on his face was evident as he held me tightly to him while looking over my head towards where Dean stood; his face was so terrifying that I almost thought it was the shapeshifter all over again. He stood there with a face like thunder like he was going to murder someone; which well technically he had. But he looked so fucking pissed as he stood over the shapeshifter's body. His hand rose and the gun held tightly in his grasp went bang. He fired the gun straight into the monster's body. Once, twice, three times before he turned looking serious as all hell. Seeing my terrified expression as I lay limply in Sam's grasp made him turn back around and unload the rest of his clip into the dead thing's body before he could even attempt to look at me again.
Was I that ugly? Was I that broken? My lip trembled and I buried my face against Sam's shoulder. Holding onto his arm for support as I didn't want to be alone right now. Dean crouched in front of me just then and I felt his hand brush my hair from my face and I couldn't help the flinch I gave at his touch. When I look at him I saw that conflicted look on his face. He was going to withdraw from me. I knew that look. But I didn't want to be afraid of him. My Dean never hurt me, I needed him to realize that. So as he began pulling away to rise I launched myself from Sam's arms and straight into Dean's. Burying my face into the familiar scented shirt and holding for dear life. No words needed to be said as his arms wrapped around me and held me tightly to him. He was never good with words anyway. The presence of his strong frame against my own was enough for me to soak his T-shirt in tears. So relieved. So happy. Just so…thankful that I had men that would go to the ends of the world for me. I pulled away far enough to peer up into his green eyes before I yanked him down by the collar of his jacket to press his lips to mine. Kissing him for all he and I were worth because frankly. I never thought I'd ever have the chance to feel him against me like this. Drawing away when we needed air I rested my forehead against his and smiled shakily.
"I knew you'd come for me." my eyes trailed off to the figure standing behind us in his signature tan-colored trench coat.
"Thank you."
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caught-a-ghost · 1 year
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~time for a reread~
it's been well over a year since i read down to agincourt the first time. the deancas slowburn, the worldbuilding, and the brilliant cast of oc's you come to adore. i completely fell in love with it.
spn a la tolkien baby~
since i have a terrible memory i kinda wanna document some of my reread. feel free to filter #dragonfly rereads dta. this is for my own personal enjoyment more than anything else and it's not going to be that deep. i'm just using this to remember shit.
since i know people want to read it for that bookclub thing soon (awesome!) i'm putting the first one of these under a cut since i'm not going to be spoiler free. please block my tag if you want to avoid those!
chapter 1 here we go
"I promised Sam they'd be together in the end," Lucifer tells him, shrugging to rearrange his still immaculate coat. "Don't worry, Cas, he'll be fine. From what I understand, he had a pretty good time the first time. He'll adapt." "No," Castiel answers. "He won't." Lucifer looks up from his sleeve, a pitying smile freezing on his lips, eyebrows knitting together in dawning confusion. "What--where is he?" "How would I know?" he answers curiously. "Slaughtering the reapers was possibly a miscalculation on your part. Without their guidance, it's very easy to get lost."
god i think we're seeing a remnant of the cas who made Thee Deal here. and i think he used it to secure the safety of endverse dean's soul. im gonna cryy 😭
Pausing at the door of the jeep, Castiel hesitates briefly, and a surge of adrenaline hits him hard enough to make his hands shake, don't stop as clear as if the words were spoken in his ear, don't look back. Only Orpheus was stupid enough not to listen to warnings delivered without ambiguity; it's too rare to get one of those to discard with impunity. I don't want to hurt you. Castiel stiffens, turning to search the empty parking lot. "What?" There's nothing but the lack of breeze to answer him.
i completely did not remember this bit and it's driving me insane. who are youuuuuu (one of the goddesses we've already met or someone new 👀)
and i forgot how much i love this cas! cas: ~only orpheus was stupid enough to turn around~ also cas: *turns around a second after having that thought*
"Why'd you do that to your hand?" Dean asks, settling beside him again; a hunter even now, eliciting information from the most useless of witnesses at the most pointless of all times. "Cas?" "I don't remember."
that cut was totally made for Thee Deal 👀
While he guessed the reason Dean was going into the city, it didn't occurred to him that Dean might not even know where it was he had appeared.
they're both missing time scully, they're both missing time
"Eventually I have to sleep, and I would prefer to do so with some assurance I'll wake up." "You think…" Dean stares at him. "I'm not gonna kill you, Cas, Jesus!" "Do you give your word?" Castiel asks, smiling slowly at Dean's horror. "Unless I take your soul as collateral, why on earth should you keep it?"
they're so messy <3 they have no fucking idea <3
It's been a week since he got here, suddenly scrambling for footing behind broken dumpster and staring at eight demons surrounding an armed man that even after three years Dean would recognize anywhere. The skinny, slumping mortal body in a too-big jacket with an indifferent hold on a rifle stared at him with the infinite blue eyes of an angel who might have traded his sword for a gun and immortality for the dirt of humanity, but had never stopped being a soldier. And very abruptly, to the surprise of those demons, he seemed to remember just that.
aaack i need to knoooow. were these demons a part of it??? is this where it happened??? (wasn't there some kind of reality damage that started in the city? was it here?) were the demons taken off-guard bc they had just worked together with cas and suddenly cas didn't remember??
what is the timeline here? dean seems to have been brought in before endverse dean's death. why??
seperis does this thing in particular that drives me completely bananas (in a good, but feral way). they'll drop little nuggets of information that feel off in the moment, ignore it until later, and then hit you with the realisation that the nugget hinted at a massive reveal or character moment (the fucking spanish thing!)
i'm not likely to do these for every chapter. just those damn nuggets
i also skipped most of the ancient rome stuff the first time around and im wondering if i should stick those out this time 🤔
excited though 👀
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wormstacheangel · 3 years
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part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 all of these are short so enjoy <3
Dean wasn’t sure where he stood with Cas, and he hated every fucking second of it.
He looked at his watch again, it’s only been a little less than an hour since Cas and Sam left on their stupid double date, but he already felt like he was crawling up the walls. He was pacing the room, trying to figure out what he could have said to stop Cas from going and wondering why Cas accepted the damn date in the first place.
Was he not enough?
It hasn’t even been three days since Dean finally said the big L word to him. Did Cas not hear him? Did he think he was fucking joking? Was the tongue down his throat not enough proof that Dean was over the fucking moon to finally have Cas. Have him in a way he never thought was going to be possible for them.
Why? Why did he go?
Maybe he was a lousy kisser? No. No, he’s an awesome kisser! But what if-
Dean jumps at the sound of his ringtone and answers it without looking at who it is.
“Dean.” He heard the familiar annoyed voice call his name in a low growl. “Stop.”
It took a second for Dean to understand what was going on. “Cas? Dude, why are you calling me? Shouldn’t you be entertaining your stu-your date?”
“I can’t. You are being insufferable.”
Dean was taken back by the words. Did he actually send all those texts he thought about sending?
“I know you tend to forget, Dean, but I can feel your longing, and it is distracting.” Oh! Oh. Shit. “What’s wrong?”
What’s wrong? What’s wrong? What the fuck do you think is wrong? That’s what Dean should have said but instead, “Nothing.” He is a coward, first and foremost. At least, when it comes to Cas, he was.
“You are giving me too much of a headache for it to be nothing.” Cas sighed, and Dean noticed the background noise quiets down on Cas’s end. “Are you okay? Should I come home?”
Yes! “No!” Dean quickly waves him off as if Cas could see him. “Stay. Have a fun time with your um, with your date.”
Cas doesn’t say anything for a long 20 seconds--Dean had to check if he hung up--before he sighs. “Okay.”
“Okay.”
“Goodbye.”
No. Not, goodbye. “I’ll see you later, okay? I’ll wait up for you so we can...talk. About you finally having your first date. Look at you, back from the dead and in the game. Good on you, Cas.”
“I would like that.” Silence again. Dean was about to hang up when he heard, “It’s not my first date.”
“What?”
“You said this is my first date, but it’s not.” Dean was about to tease him. To remind him that the date with the reaper or the one with him as a babysitter didn’t count but Cas beat him to the next words. “I like my dates with you more.”
Dean’s heart skips, and he thinks he misheard him, but before he can ask Cas to repeat it. The line goes dead, and Dean is left pacing the floor again. Wondering if the heat on his cheeks was ever going to go away.
“Am I--Is Cas...Am I being played?” Dean fell into his bed with a groan. Still left confused on where he stood with Cas.
--(More under the tag)
Cas is doing it again.
He’s acting as if he didn’t just come back from a date with this...Lucy person and pretending that everything is so damn peachy. He was sitting on the other side of Dean’s bed, once again head resting on Dean’s shoulder as if it had now become a nice habit of his. He welcomed the weight, the warmth of Cas pressed beside him, of course. He is just so damn confused.
“You know,” Cas looked up at him, his nose pressed to Dean’s jaw. “You’re the one that asked how my night went. So I sort of expected you to, you know, listen.”
He was listening. Listening to every damn word Cas spoke because, of course, he didn’t miss a single detail. He talked about the food, bland he described it, and Eileen picked off his plate. He talked about how Lucy laughed when he didn’t say anything funny, and Sam insisted that it meant she liked him. He talked about how he wasn’t sure if he liked these fancy places; he was used to the noise of diners and kind waitresses refiling his coffee when he didn’t need to ask.
But just now, he was just rambling on about how smart, kind, and great Lucy was. Did he use any of those words? No, but he might as well be kissing the floor she walked on by the way he talked about her.
“Dean?” Cas reached over, the palm of his hand laying flat on the side of Dean’s face. “You okay?”
Yes. “No.”
Wait. He was supposed to say the opposite.
Cas sat up to look at him better, and Dean missed the weight of him already. Wanting to reach over and pull him back in, he also might as well say what he thought so they can move on from this because he was so fucking tired of this.
They are so close, and shit will not happen if Dean keeps rambling in his head instead of talking out loud. Like Sam says--or better yet, what he is trying to drill in his head--communication is the key to a healthy relationship. Right now, he just wants a fucking relationship.
Dean looks at Cas; sad sky eyes stare back at him. Filled with questions that maybe he was also afraid to ask, but it’s Dean’s turn to make a move this time. At least he thinks so. He wasn’t sure when they started taking turns, but fuck, he missed Cas tonight and hates that someone else got to have a romantic night with him.
Without another thought, Dean pulled at the stupid bowtie and dragged Cas forward until their lips met for another long-awaited kiss. The tug may have choked an actual person, but luckily, Cas didn’t seem to find a problem with it as he moved closer to deepen the kiss.
Tell me you didn’t kiss her. Tell me you don’t want to see her ever again. Tell me you want me. Only me. Tell me...tell me you love me.
“I love you.” Dean hears himself say. It was desperate as his grip on Cas tightened; he could feel his fingers dig into Cas’s waist as he pulled him forward until his whole weight was on top of him. Cas starts to pull away, probably wanting to look at him again, but Dean keeps his eyes closed as he cranes his neck up to catch Cas’s lips. Wanting to feel, to pretend, that Cas only was his.
Cas kisses back for a second or two, longer, but it didn’t take much strength for him to pull back to look at Dean. Eyes filled with concern as he let Dean roll him into his back.
“Say it back, damn it.” Dean starts undoing the bowtie and fumbles with Cas’s buttoned shirt as he noses the stubble on the angel’s jaw. “Cas, say it.”
“I love you.” Cas takes Dean’s face between his large hands and forces him to look at his sad eyes again. “I love you, Dean. So tell me, what’s wrong?”
Dean didn’t try to pull away; instead, he fell against Cas’s body. Laying all his weight on him, knowing damn well Cas could take it, he probably weighed nothing to him. Like a feather.
Dean’s face tucked into Cas’s neck as he felt those fingers in his hair, soothing them before he rubbed his back. Probably trying to figure out which one was more comforting, but for Dean, any soft touch from him will do.
This is stupid. Desperate. Pathetic. But he needs to ask.
“Am not enough for you?”
“What?”
Dean doesn’t move from his hiding spot. Not wanting Cas to see his face as he talks. “Why’d you say to a date with someone else? I thought we were...I know I’m not good at all this, but I thought we were--at least, I was trying.” Dean shoved his face closer into his throat until he could feel Cas’s heartbeat against his nose. “I was trying, Cas!”
“I know!” Cas’s hands tighten on his Dean’s shoulders as if he was going to push him away, but then he stopped himself. “I only said yes because I figured it was what you wanted.”
“What?” Dean mumbled into Cas’s skin before he pushed himself up just enough to stare down at him. Repeating himself. “What?”
“The day after we kissed, you ignored everyone, including me. I thought you were...ashamed. Maybe you wanted to keep things private. So to keep Sam from suspecting us-”
“You said yes to a date.” Dean finished for him while Cas slowly nodded. Looking at him as if fighting with himself to not read Dean’s thoughts. Probably best he didn’t. He’ll just hear screaming. Dean sighed in relief as he fell into Cas again, relaxing as Cas’s arms wrapped around him. “Dumbass.”
“I didn’t mean to make you doubt my feelings for you. But to be fair, how can you possibly doubt my feelings for you? I died so that I can say them.”
“Actually, I thought you changed your mind cause I sucked at kissing.”
“You do not suck.”
“Thanks.” Dean chuckled, kissing Cas’s bare chest. His cheeks were warming up as his mind just caught up with his action. “Sorry.”
“I should be the one-”
“No, Cas. Me. I made you think I wanted to hide us.” Dean lifted his head again, looking down at Cas, who gave him a soft, warm smile. “I don’t. Maybe I was a little nervous, but that’s cause you kept acting like me holding your dumb hand was like...normal or whatever.”
“I thought if I make a big deal of it, then you’ll freak out.” Damn. Got him there. And yet, he still freaked out. “But I see now that we should have...talked about it?”
“Yeah.” Dean chuckled as he realized how stupid they both had been. “Yeah, that probably would have helped.”
Cas surprised him by reaching up to give him a hesitant kiss. His eyes were bright as they sparkled when Dean met the familiar gaze.
“We can um,” Dean clears his throat nervously as he keeps his eyes on Cas. “We can talk later.”
“Later. Later is good.”
“Good.”
Cas reaches to kiss him again, bringing him down until they are lost in each other.
--
The next morning Dean woke up with a spring in his step, and Sam noticed right away.
“What’s up with you?” He raised his eyebrows at him, teasing him with a smile. “Had a fun night with Scooby?”
“Watched Animaniacs, for your information.” Dean poured two cups of coffee. “And no. I had the most perfect company last night.”
Sam opened his mouth before squinting at him. “Did you-? Wait, did you bring a girl over to the bunker?”
“No!” Dean said just as Cas walked in, wrapped in nothing but Dean’s robe. “There you are. Thought you were gonna follow me.”
Dean walked over to hand Cas his coffee, kissing his cheek before walking back to get his own cup.
“I was. You neglected to tell me I wasn’t wearing clothes. So I had to go find something to cover up.” Cas sat in front of Sam who stared at them with wide eyes. “Morning, Sam.”
It took Sam a few seconds before he muttered. “I hate you guys. I mean, congratulations, but fuck you. Didn’t need that image in my head so early in the morning.”
Dean sat beside Cas, shoulders bumping, before he looked at Sam over the rim of his cup. “Now you can stop trying to set Cas up on dumb dates.”
“I had a fun time last night, Sam. Thank you.” Cas quickly said before looking back at Dean. “But I think I will just continue dating your brother instead.”
“Okay,” Sam got up, giving them both a tight smile and a thumbs up. “Congrats again. Next time wear underwear, Cas.”
“Stop looking at my boyfriend!” “I couldn’t find it.” Dean and Cas say at the same time.
Dean finally knows what Cas is to him.
“We should hurry if we want to beat the kids to the diner.” Cas gets up, kissing the top of Dean’s head as he goes. “I like this.”
“Me too.” Dean reaches for his hand, tangling their fingers together as he pulls Cas down for a kiss.
Best friend. Boyfriend. The light at the end of the tunnel.
“Love you.” Dean whispers against his lips, making Cas smile into the kiss.
“Love you, too.”
Everything. He’s everything.
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gates-keeper · 3 years
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Part 1: “Words of Affirmation” Destiel Quotes & Parallels
I’m sure someone’s done this before me and done it better, but I’m compiling a huge Destiel evidence docket for no reason. Anyone got any quotes to add?
Comments From Outside Characters
To Dean
Uriel: “He has this weakness. He likes you.” (4x10)
Balthazar: “You have me confused with the other angel. You know, the one in the dirty trench coat who’s in love with you.” (6x17)
Hester: “The first time Castiel laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost.” (7x21)
Meg: “He was your boyfriend first.” (7x23)
Charlie: “What about Castiel? He seems helpful. And dreamy.” (8x20)
Marie: “Although we do explore the nature of Destiel in Act 2.” (10x5)
Sam: “Shouldn’t it be Deastiel?” He then goes on to tease Dean with “Sastiel” which Dean takes negatively. (10x5)
Dean: “This Cas is looking at me weird.” Sam: “So like the real Cas then.” (15x14) 
To Castiel
Hannah: “We gave you our trust. Don’t lose it over one man.” (9x22)
Metatron: “His true weakness is revealed. He’s in love…with humanity.” (9x22)
Metatron: “Oh, that’s right. To save Dean Winchester. That was your goal, right? I mean, you draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but, ultimately, it was about saving one human, right?” (9x23)
Ishim: “I’m going to cure you of your human weakness [i.e. Dean]” (12x10)
The Empty: “I have tiptoed through all your little tulips. Your memories, your little feelings, yes. I know what you hate. I know who you love…There is nothing for you back there.” (13x4)
Demon: “I thought you were joined at the… (looks down) everything.” (14x01)
There are also several instances where other characters try to poke at insecurities regarding their relationship.
Naomi: “You're hoping Castiel will return to you. I admire your loyalty. I only wish he felt the same way.” (8x19)
Casifer: “There comes a time when every relationship has run its course.” (11x18)
Michael!Dean: “You only tolerate the angel because you think you owe him, because he ‘gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition.’ Or whatever.” (14x10)
Comments From Dean
To Cas
“There are two things I know for certain. One, Bert and Ernie are gay. And two, you are not going to die a virgin.” (5x03) 
“So what? I’m Thelma and you’re Louise and we’re just going to hold hands and sail off this cliff together?” (5x03)
“You know what? Blow me, Cas.” (5x18)
“Cas, not for nothing, but the last time someone looked at me like that, I got laid.” (5x18)
“Look, I don’t need to feel like hell for failing you, okay? For failing you like I’ve failed every other godforsaken thing that I care about! I don’t need it!” (8x07)
“We need you. I need you.” 
For more on this quote see the “We vs. I” section.
To Other Characters
Bobby: “I think maybe it’s time you made a call.” Dean: “Why does it always gotta be me that makes the call, huh? It’s not like Cas lives in my ass. The dude’s busy.” (Cas appears) Dean: “Get out of my ass.” Cas: “I was never in your… (head tilt)” (6x19)
“On my car…. He showed up naked… covered in bees.” (7x23)
While Cas suffered from some mental issues at the time, it seems somewhat significant that he sought Dean out under the circumstances, not Sam, etc.
“There’s things… people… feelings that I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time.” (10x16)
“My shy but devastatingly handsome friend here” (12x12)
“He came into my room and he played me.” (12x19)
“Let’s see. Crowley’s dead, Kelly’s dead, Cas is—Mom’s gone.” (13x01)
Dean’s inability to list Cas’s death singles him out as the most devastating of the losses.
“We’ve lost everything. And now you’re gonna bring him back.” (13x01)
While some people have heard this as “bring ‘em back”, the Netflix captions and transcripts I have been able to find say “him.”
“And Cas bought it. And you know what it got him? It got him dead! Now you may be able to forget about that, but I can't!” (13x03)
“I have a family.” (In response to John Winchester lamenting Dean doesn’t have a wife and kids) (14x13)
Comments From Cas
To Dean
“I was getting too close to the humans in my charge. You. They feel I've begun to express emotions. The doorways to doubt.” (4x16)
“I’m hunted. I rebelled. And I did it—all of it—for you.” (5x02)
“I gave everything for you. And this is what you give to me.” (5x18)
“I do everything that you ask. I always come when you call.” (6x21)
“So you will bow down and profess your love unto me, your Lord.” (6x22)
Before taking on the role of God, Cas seemed very concerned with Dean’s forgiveness/acceptance/love. It is interesting that, as God, that was the first thing he asked for, turning from Sam (who had just stabbed him) to Dean to ask for love.
“Sam, and everyone you know, everyone you love, they could be long dead. Everyone except me.” (10x22)
“I love you. I love all of you.” (Arguably to the group, but the first “I love you” can be seen as Dean-specific, especially since it cuts to Dean after being said.) (12x12)
“You mean too much to me. To everything.” (12x9) (To Mary, Sam, and Dean. However, the camera immediately cuts to Dean specifically, even though he is in the back of the group).
“I’m your Huckleberry.” (13x06)
Cas love confession (15x18)
To Other Characters
“Dean and I do share a more profound bond.” (6x03)
“I won’t hurt Dean.” (8x17)
This is said as Castiel is breaking away from Naomi’s mind control—mind control she fostered specifically by having Cas kill a thousand versions of Dean. This implies she knows that Cas’s strongest loyalty is to Dean, not Sam, or humans in general.
“The point is that they [Dean & Sam] were here at all and you got to know them, you -- When they're gone, it will hurt, but that hurt will remind you of how much you loved them.” (14x14)
“You know, Dean, he... he feels things more acutely than any human I've ever known.” (15x13)
Other Comments
Reaper: “How do I start looking for this... Castiel?” Bartholomew: “I got one word for you. Winchester.”
Rowena: “An Angel of the Lord, shattered at the altar of Winchester.”
Use of We vs. I
In the crypt scene in Season 8, Dean tells Cas, “We need you.” This is not enough to stop Cas’s actions. When the language switches to “I need you,” Cas drops the angel blade.
We can clearly see that Dean tries to put up barriers about how he really feels about Cas in his use of “We.” For example, after showing the audience many scenes of Dean, not Sam, frantically trying to call Cas, we get the following lines:
“So not only were you ditching us, but you were also ignoring us?”
“With everything that's going on, you can't just go dark like that. We didn't know what happened to you. We were worried. That's not okay.”
It’s clear that these “we’s” are really “I’s”
In the alternate future presented in 15x9, Sam asks Dean, “What’s happened to you Dean… ever since…?” to which Dean responds, “Ever since what? We lost pretty much everyone we’ve ever cared about? Ever since the Mark made Cas go crazy and I had to bury him in a Malak box… ever since then?” While he acknowledges Sam’s losses as well, his switch to “I” in reference to Cas implies that Cas’s loss belongs especially to him.
(Mostly) Verbal Parallels to Other Couples
In 1x01 (start at 2:27), Dean pulls Sam away from a dead Jess in a direct parallel to how Sam pulls Dean away from Cas in 12x23
Following Jessica’s death, Sam keeps seeing glimpses of her as he and Dean travel around in the Impala. Dean does the same in Season 8 following his return from Purgatory without Cas.
David from “Bloodlines” (9x20) tells his love interest, “I was there. Where were you?” which is the same thing Dean says to Cas in “The Man Who Would Be King” (6x20)
When asking Dean whether he’s in love with Cassie, Dean gives a similar response to what he will say in 10x5 when asked about Destiel.
Destiel is paralleled with their counterparts from the Supernatural play who are “a couple in real life” (10x5)
Cain compares himself to Dean in Season 10. He describes the significant kills of his life (The Knights of Hell, his wife Collette, and his brother Abel) and tells Dean that he will follow his same pattern by killing the King of Hell Crowley, Castiel, then Sam. It is also mentioned that all Collette asked of Cain was “to stop,” which is the same language Cas uses with Dean in 10x22.
Dean explains how his parents fell in love to prove his identity to Mary in 12x1, “He was cute and he knew the words to every Zeppelin song, so when he asked you for your number, you gave it to him, even though you knew your dad would be pissed.” Later in this same season (12x19), Dean gives Cas a homemade mixtape of his favorite Zeppelin songs.
Ishim fell in love with a human named Lily Sunder who ultimately left him for someone else. When trying to recruit Castiel, he compares Dean to her.
Dean questions how much of their life has been controlled by God. Cas states, “You asked, ‘What about all of this is real?’ We are.” (15x02) Later, they find out that God has been using Eileen to spy on the Winchesters. She says, “After what happened, I don’t know what’s real anymore.” Sam kisses her, stating “I know that was real.” (15x09)
PART 2 “Physical Touch” Now Finished
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huggybearsunshine · 3 years
Text
Empty Promises III
[part 3] Things get serious fast and Dean is not okay.
Everything seemed to be going too well, and it was putting the eldest Winchester more and more on edge as they went.
“You okay?” Sam asked as they sat around the library and waited for the reaper to return with God’s book.
“Peachy,” Dean answered sarcastically.
“Right of course,” Sam sighed.
“I got a lot on me right now, Sammy,” he added a little softer, “Not really in the talking kind of place… More of an overthinking and dread kinda deal.”
Air puffed from Sam’s nose in a ghost of a laugh, “Yeah, sounds like you.”
Dean’s eyes drifted toward Cas, lingering there unchecked for a longer moment than he would usually allow.
“I think it’s a lot for him…” he softly remarked, “Getting all of this power back ten-fold…”
“You’re worried about him,” Sam commented, surprised by his brother’s candidness.
“I almost lost him again… before we met back up after Billie…” Dean looked away from the Angel, unable to handle the thoughts that were flooding his mind.
“Is that why you’ve been-”
“Sort of, but…” Dean’s brows knit together, and he looked away, “There’s a lot going on, I just need time to figure my shit out…”
A sudden rush announced the Reaper’s return, but the hunter was frozen in place as Cas’ eyes locked onto him in a meaningful stare.
“He heard that,” Dean thought to himself, “Of course… he’s a fully-powered Archangel now…”
Within the hour the plan was set and already in motion, and Dean’s mind became relentless-
Mine, mine, mine. If Chuck lays a hand on him, I’ll take it off-
The only thing helping to ease his mood was the steering wheel in his hands and the rumble of Baby’s engine.
“No music?” Jack asked from the back seat where the reaper, who’s name they’d learned was Mika, was sandwiched between an Archangel and a God-like teenager- toddler… However, they were supposed to categorize Jack.
He had always existed outside of most norms. Not a “normal” nephilim, not a “normal” kid or a “normal” adult. Now Dean wasn’t sure what Jack was going through, and it hurt him that they were all too busy to even worry about it. Always too busy to worry about themselves.
The sun began to rise over the horizon as they arrived to the house. It had to be the house where he lost Cas the last time because of course it did. God hates him.
Immediately the hunter’s thoughts went to wrapping his body and the fire that burned it after.
He quickly threw the door opened and left the car to take a moment to himself.
“Dean,” Sam called over the top of the car.
“I just need a minute,” his brother growled, but Cas exited the car and followed behind without hesitation.
The crunching of leaves announced the Angel’s approach before Dean felt the familiar grip to his shoulder.
He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply before opening them again, “I’m good.”
“For what it’s worth, I am sorry,” Cas’ eyes softened, “I’m sorry it’s always us, I’m sorry for always leaving- I know now how much it hurt you, and I’m sorry that I have to do this, but maybe this will be it. Maybe this will stop it from always falling on you and taking from you. Maybe this is how we find peace.”
“There is no peace without you,” Dean thought to himself, unable to say the words, but his eyes were on the edge of tears, and he hoped there was love in them.
“Guys, we gotta move,” Sam called to them, and move they did.
Dean and Sam were the perfect distraction until Cas came in and took the brunt of the beating. Then came the big guns as Jack went in for the winning blow. There was hope in the air for the first time in what felt like a lifetime, but even at the end, it could never be that simple.
The sound of Cas’ cry echoed hauntingly through the trees as he fell to the ground.
“Cas!” the word punched from Dean’s chest harshly as he slid to the ground next to the fallen Angel.
Jack went flying but seemed okay so Sam rushed toward the other two.
“I love you, Cas,” Dean was pleading into Cas’ neck, arms gripping tightly around the weakening celestial, “I love you, please don’t leave again, please, Cas-”
Then abrupt silence as a void spilled from a tear in space, black ooze pouring out of seemingly nowhere.
“Dean, it’s here,” Cas gurgled out.
“No, it didn’t come!” Dean’s voice was desperate, “It can’t have you-”
“See, no matter what you do, you lose…” Chuck laughed sadistically, wiping blood from his face and flinging it to the ground.
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Jack appeared behind his shoulder from nowhere, eyes glowing gold as he slammed his hand against Chuck’s chest.
Something appeared to drain from the older God and absorb into Jack before he flung him into the void like it was nothing.
“I give you God in exchange for Castiel,” Jack’s voice boomed dangerously toward the void, and it actually appeared to recoil slightly, “Take what you have been given and go!”
There was a moment of hesitation before it receded and disappeared.
“Dean, give him room,” Sam spoke softly, and the eldest hunter pried his limbs away, sore from holding on so tightly.
Jack leaned down and the glow from his palm felt warm even on Dean’s skin as it healed Cas’ injuries and blue eyes fluttered open.
Jack smiled as he stood, stepping backward until Sam could reach him and pull him into a tight hug.
“You’re okay?” Dean had a frantic look in his eyes as he held Cas’ face like it was his lifeline.
“I’m okay,” Cas assured him, looking a little surprised himself.
“Jack, can you do it?” Sam asked as he released him.
“I can,” Jack answered simply with a nod before snapping his fingers to produce an otherworldly ring and breathing life back into the world again.
————————
@spuffy-destiel took me a bit but I got it! Love your comments and suggestions! I’ll keep writing as long as you keep reading! 😂
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I saw in your tags that there’s some old destiel fic you like on ffn. Do you have any recs ? :)
omg I haven’t been on there in years! like last time I read anything on there was like in 2014 lmao xD
32 fics total - I just checked and all of them are still up...there’s like 30+ more that I bookmarked that isn’t on the list cuz I’m not sure if they’re destiel fics or not so I gotta re-read them
all the ones below are fics that I’ve recced before in the past
1. All Angels Need Their Wings - RATING: NC-17 | LENGTH: 29,784 (2012)
Dean never thought that Castiel would ever return. And when he did, he came in a very unexpected way, a very horrifying way. SLASH Castiel/Dean. Wing-Kink. Takes place in season 7. AU.
2. Heart Trouble - RATING: NC-17 | LENGTH: 74,320 (2011)
Dean's having a harder and harder time of denying what he feels for a certain blue-eyed friend of his. And it's making him a little ornery, and a lot confused.
3. It Hurts - RATING: NC-17 | LENGTH: 29,963 (2013)
Inspired by the S9 Trailer Cas had watched the angels fall and with them, his self worth. Now human facing the challenges of navigating mortality he also tries to find a place for himself in this new world. It is a hope he has to find without the Winchesters, without Dean. So now he runs, from both Heaven, Hell and from Dean. 
4. Small Problem - RATING: NC-17 | LENGTH: 13,310 (2011)
A cursed artifact has made Castiel miniature, it's amusing for the Winchesters at first until they realize he might stay that way forever. Slash Dean/Castiel Please R&R
5 My Broken Angel - RATING: M | LENGTH: 24,999 (2010)
When Castiel disappears from his vessel, Dean is concerned. But when Castiel reappears and seems to avoid him, Dean is heartbroken. Set mid-season 5. 
6. A Hand - RATING: M | LENGTH: 23,474 (2010)
Dean/Cas, multichapter, slight AU. Dean's busy trying to re-soulify his brother, but Cas needs help. Maybe it's time Dean gave it to him. Ch. 15: Dean glared indignantly. "I find the term 'lovebirds' to be offensive. We prefer to be called 'sex-falcons.'" 
7. Saving Grace - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 38,602 (2010)
With everything that was going wrong in Dean's life, it took him a while to realize that the person close to him that really needed the most help was Castiel. 
8. Candy - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 98,068 (2013)
The Fall from Heaven changed everything. The supernatural no longer hidden. Angels roaming the planet. Sam and Dean's immediate concerns were on a smaller scale. What do you do with the former King of Hell? Where is Castiel?... Destiel/Mute!Human!Cas/Angst!Dean
9. Dude, Dean Looks Like a Lady - RATING: M | LENGTH: 20,774 *gen/pre-slash* (2013)
Sam's good, Cas has been found, and demons everywhere seem to be on hiatus. Seems like things are looking up for Team Free Will that is until Dean wakes up with his very own vagina anyway. Warnings: Fem!Dean, Destiel, female masturbation and S8 spoilers.
10. Evil Intent, Trials of Love, & Finding My Angel - RATING: NC-17 | LENGTH: 36,729, 70,453, & 59,941 *rape, graphic torture, violence* (2009)
Anna rapes Castiel and uses a method that torments him more than anything imaginable. WARNING: Rape and Castiel/Dean makes sense when you read it . If you don't like then don't read!
11. Cascade - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 44,626 (2013)
"And if you fall as Lucifer fell, you fall in flames!" An 8x23 coda. 
12. Count The Cracks, Hear The Shatters, Feel The Insanities - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 44,626 *gen/pre-slash* (2013)
They've walked miles on gravel roads that led to hell and back but the journey never quite ends. This is the story of Castiel and the Winchesters after the angels fell from heaven. Post Season 8. 
13. Damn Straight & Wait Wait Wait - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: about 21,000 (2010)
Humorous Cas/Dean, with multiple POVs. Slight AU. Fluffy. Ch. 5: Sam sat in the Impala in the motel parking lot, praying that three and a half hours at the library had been long enough.
14. Entertaining Angels - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 43,659 *gen/pre-slash* (2008)
A strange boy shows up at Dean and Sam’s motel room. Maybe he needs help, or maybe he’s there to help them—they can’t quite tell. Spoilers through 4.10. Not an OC. 
15. Happy Friggin’ Valentine’s Day - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 22,771 (2010)
SLASH. It all started with Dean's perfectly healthy hatred of frivilous holidays and a much-coveted sack of dust. Poor Castiel doesn't fully understand 'romance' to begin with, and this crash course is most unwelcome. 
16. I’m Just a Love Machine - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 29,200 (2011)
The Impala finally gets the chance to love Dean back. The problem is, Castiel seems to be in its way. 
17. It’s The Great Destiel Shipper, Sam Winchester - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 49,641 (2012)
What's Sam really doing all that time on the computer? Fangirling. Over Chuck's Supernatural books. Now Wincest might be a bit too much to deal with, but Destiel he might be able to get on board with... Especially after being around the two people involved for three days straight. 
18. Pain in the Head - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 78,771 *character death* (2011)
It started out slow. "Since when do angels have headaches?" "Since they become human." Established Dean/Cas. Sort of AU. PG-13. Complete. 
19. Sleep in Heavenly Peace - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 45,517 *christmas fic* (2013)
Dean wants to have a nice, peaceful Christmas for once, but it seems like the universe won't let him. Dean/Castiel. Post-8.08 (Hunteri Heroici) AU. First in "Holidays With the Winchesters are Always Fun." 
20. The Shattered One - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 94,021 *grace mpreg* (2012)
When it struck Castiel, it dropped him out of the sky. He set down the first place he could find. He stood in a field in Switzerland, swaying on his feet and staring down at his body, dazed by what it had just done.
21. This Cupid Isn’t Stupid - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 41,572 (2012)
Dean receives a shock when he wakes up to discover Castiel has returned. Why is the angel suddenly back? Why have his powers dimmed? And.. Why are he and Dean joined together by an invisible rope!
22. Wild Horses, Cas - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 23,505 (2013)
(S8 Spoilers (story is set in S9), Sickfic! Destiel, Minor Sabriel). When Cas comes down with a bad case of Pneumonia it leaves Dean feeling more protective over his friend than ever, but will it also lead to Dean's admittance of his feelings towards his friend? 
23. Wrong - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 51,384 (2010)
Angels are not supposed to drop out of the sky into motel rooms, broken and beaten. They're not supposed to bleed like that. It was all wrong. 
24. The Reluctant Contestant - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 50,502 (2012)
AU When Gabriel is hired as a new host for a dating show, Cas has no choice but to follow his brother along as part of the camera crew. Forced at the last minute to be a contestant, he is shocked when Dean Winchester continually refuses to eliminate him. 
25. The Ugly Duckling - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 81,676 (2012)
Castiel: a nerdy, skinny thing with a crush on the the most popular guy in class. Being unpopular isn't easy and it's worse when the homophobic school figures him out. A small struggle to be noticed by his crush is turned into a huge struggle for himself and his dignity. But bullying can get the better of anyone. Slash. Destiel rated M for later chapters. 
26. Nameless - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 77,882 (2013)
AU. Everyone has the name of their soulmate written on their wrist at birth. Well, everyone except Dean Winchester. Complete. 
27. Cufflinks - RATING: M | LENGTH: 61,845 (2012)
The world is full of creatures that prey on humans. It is up to 'Hunters' to fight against the dark. Lucky Hunters rely on the help of angels they have bound to their service. Sam and Dean may be good Hunters, but they have yet to capture an angel. One day, Sam finds an angel and seizes the opportunity to bind the angel to himself. Little did they know what they were getting into. 
28. Angel Training - RATING: M | LENGTH: 95,700, Angel Training 2: Save Us - RATING: M | LENGTH: 76,888, & Angel Training 3: Uprising - RATING: M | LENGTH: 89,512 (2011)
In a world where angels are common and the most privileged or skilled people are able to own one; the world's angelic hierarchy is about to change when Dean Winchester receives a wild and recently caught angel.
29. Chasing Your Shadow - RATING: M | LENGTH: 92,077 (2012)
The prophecy says that when Castiel turns twenty-three winters old, a stranger will come into his life and bring a lot of suffering. But do prophecies always come true? Demon Dean/human Castiel AU 
30. The Holiday - RATING: M | LENGTH: 32,088 (2011)
Castiel and Sam are unlucky in both life and love, so they swap houses for the holidays. Both find the experience highly...interesting. Dean/Castiel Sam/Gabriel
31. And In Your Arms I Shall Find Shelter- RATING: M | LENGTH: 33,824 (2012)
Dean Winchester is a long forgotten painter who suddenly receives an order for a painting from a rich man - Crowley. He is about to start painting when Castiel - his personal reaper visits him. The main question is: Will Castiel give Dean enough time to finish the painting? 
32. Jar of Hearts - RATING: PG-13 | LENGTH: 127,192 (2013)
February being the supposed 'month of love' people seem to forget that it's also one of the coldest times of the year. Valentine's Day themed events in a cafe turned bar is how Dean managed the courage to speak to the locally famous singer and somehow score a date, a relationship, and a man he didn't deserve out of the deal. Destiel college/uniAU some Sabriel 
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verobatto · 3 years
Text
Destiel Chronicles
Vol. CIII
It was a love story from the very beginning.
Two Worlds. Two Hearts. (Part I)
(13x17/13x18/13x19)
Hello everyone! This meta is gonna have three parts, but one central topic: the ultimate lovers separation. I will detail in here how these two episode were foreshadowing 15x18. Is gonna be one meta per episode, so I hope you like it.
So, let's start...
Feeding grace parallels
Episode 13x17 speaks about an angsty 'Lovers Separation'.
The episode starts with our cute Dean being a goof, because he is feeling so happy, even with his mom kidnapped in another AU, and do you know why? Because Cas is back. And because he's in love with Castiel.
Sam and Dean are searching for the Seal of Solomon, is a reference to a gift given by god to Solomon, the seal contained the tentatram to protect and defeat demons. But, as a divine mention, is talking about the incoming introduction of Chuck in season 14.
Another symbolism of god and divine is the Seventh Division. Number seven represents Perfection and it's related to God.
A couple of nasty parallels we are having with Anael/Luci sharing grace, but also, we have Asmodeus feeding with Gabe, that reminds us Crowley feeding with human blood, or Cas feeding with grace or Sam feeding with demon blood. Anyway, the thing is Asmodeus feeding with Gabe's grace leads him to addiction, just like Sam and Crowley.
Destiel Mirrors
We are in Krispy's Dinner now, we have one waitress named Amy (dressed in red) and one young man named Buck, the cotumer, dressed in blue (hello Destiel mirror).
BUCK: Amy.
AMY: Hey, Buck. Have you decided what you want?
BUCK: Yeah. I’d like to try something different.
JOANNE: Poor Buck. He comes in here bird-dogging after Amy and she won’t give him a simple yes or no.
OMG this is so sad and hilarious at the same time. Related with Castiel answering about a propose to be alive again and Dean giving him the SOLFIER SPEECH like... Okay, Cas is patient and he comes back to Dean everytime, but Dean is always repressing his true feelings and words.
To point with remarkable transcendence Castiel's death and Dean's traumatic mourn at the beginning of season 13, we will have one of the attackers dying in front of the Dean in the same way Castiel died. Stabbed from behind, in the back, with the sharp knife showing off from his chest.
And a quick shot from the camera showing us Dean's terrorized eyes, recalling his trauma.
Now, jumping to the Central scene, Dean is kidnapped by the interdimensional monster using a human vessel, Sandy.
He is kidnapped to use him a a vessel for her lover another monster.
Again, the concept of Dean becoming a vessel, foreshadowing AUMichael's possession.
Sandy's story about how she was separated from her lover is a foreshadow for the ultimate lovers separation in episode 15x18.
YOKOTH: I mean us. It was supposed to be us. Glythur and I, together. But my love…they shut the rift before he could make it through.
DEAN (with maximum sarcasm) Oh my God. That's tragic. It's like a Hallmark movie. But with tentacles.
Gif set credit @inacatastrophicmind
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This lovers separation through the rift, leaving one in this world and the other in another different deme soon is what will happen with Castiel and Dean in episode 15x18. They supposed to be together but they were separated at the end.
Also, the reference to tentacles again is linked to Dean's fantasies and bisexuality. Remember how Jessica the reaper, said Dean has anime about tentacles. Hehehe.
The scene in which Dean is gagged preannounces his future possesion and how he will fell. Also all the tentacles of the male monster trying to posses him i also a foreshadow of Michaelm. And the pornographic alusión, is related with his bi self. 🙈😅
The trauma of losing Castiel is so big in Dean's mind that he decides to rush his travel into the AU world not waiting for Castiel to return, and not even calling him to tell him about it.
Dean runs quickly into the AU, accepting Ketch assistance. Without listen to Sam and trying to do it before Cas returns. To protect his Angel from dying again. Because he just CAN'T LOSE CAS AGAIN. HE JUST CAN'T SEE HIM DIE AGAIN IN FRONT OF HIS EYES.
Gif credit @out-in-the-open
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Miscellaneous: I wanted to add here how OIC was this scene when we all know Dean is very nerdy boy.
Gif credit @out-in-the-open
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To Coclude:
This episode foreshadowed the entrance of Chuck in season 14, also Dean's possesion but, definitely, the way the writer will write 15x18, the conclusion in the show for Destiel: Lovers Separation. A tragic Hallmark Movie.
Hope you like this, see you in the next one.
Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper
@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha
@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @2musiclover2 @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @destiels-canonahhhhhhhhhh
If you want to be added or removed from this list just let me know.
If you wanna read the previous metas from this season here you have the links...
Vol. XCIII, XCIV, XCV, XCVI, XCVII, XCVIII, XCIX, C, CI, CII.
Buenos Aires, March 7th 2021, 3:06 PM
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stillwinchester · 3 years
Text
What if Gorgon kissed Cas on the mouth?
Gorgon’s Kiss
The taste of Gorgon's mouth doesn't disappear right away. Cas can feel something clammy and toxic - a venom. He tries to forget about it, about the ugly monster who just kissed him without permission, but it's too difficult. He wishes he could have kiss somebody else instead. He even knows who.
All of them are tired, Dean doesn't even put a music on. They ride in the silence for a few hours before they're in Lebanon again. Sam and Jack go inside, and Dean opens a trunk to take baggage. Cas waits for him.
“He kissed you,” says Dean very casually, taking a bag from the trunk. His movements are slowly like he's trying to buy some time to have this conversation.
“Yes,” agrees Cas, and then he adds quickly: “But it wasn't pleasant. He was trying to kill me... And I wasn't attracted to him at all.”
Dean nods and closes a trunk. It's enough information for him. He shrugs his arms to end the subject: “Yeah, yeah, sure... Because he was a dude.”
Because he was a monster.
Because he wasn't you.
“No, Dean. That's not why. I could find myself attracted to any gender,” explains Cas, and Dean turns to him for the first time.
“Really?” he asks confused, making a few steps to Impala's hood, then he sits there, pointing Cas place next to him. He waits as an angel sits either, and then continues: “So, did you kiss a guy before?”
The corner of Cas' mouth pulls up a little, and he chuckles: “No, I didn't, but I also didn't kiss a lot of woman.”
Cas has a point. Dean knows only about two people (or rather demon and reaper) with whom he was kissing.
“Right. Meg and that chick, what was her name? April?”
“Yes. And Hannah, but they weren't a woman, they had just female vessel.”
“Hannah? You mean that angel?”
“Yes. It was strange. I didn't want to kiss them. I think Hannah could be interested in me…”
Dean chuckles. Sweet, innocent Cas… And poor Hannah.
“Okay, and what about the rest? About Meg?” he asks, curious what Cas is going to say this time.
“She kissed me first, don't you remember? But yes, I kissed her back. I just wanted to try what I learned from the TV.”
“Did you like it?”
Dean scratches the back of his neck, trying to pretend that is just casual talk. Cas doesn't seem to bother this at all.
“Yes, I think. But Meg was my friend... Not then, later.”
“It's good, right? That you liked her.”
“Of course. But I wasn't attracted to her.”
“You weren't? But she was hot,” says Dean, not understanding anything of this.
“Maybe, I don't know. Not for me. Not in this way.”
“So, what's your type?”
Cas narrows his eyes: “My type? I don't have a type.”
“You don't have?” How it was possible? Everybody has some type, right?
“It's complicated. Technically, I can be attracted to anyone. It doesn't matter to me how they look or what is their gender, but I need a deep psychic bond first. Then I can see somebody as attractive.”
“Okay, it has sense, I think. So, you need to fall in love first...” It wasn't a question, more like a statement of fact.
“Love is a strong word, but yes, it's one of the options.”
“So, you never felt attraction to somebody. Because you were never in love, right?” he says it slowly.
“It's not true, Dean. I fell. Once.”
He fell. Once. Not in love. Just fell.
Dean swallows hard, the Adam's apple lifts and lowers uneasy. There's silence between them for the moment, Cas is the one who starts talking again.
“You know, Dean, I still feel the poison.”
Dean jumps up nervously and shouts: “What? Why didn’t you tell me earlier, it can kill you, we need to…”
“No, no, Dean. You don’t understand. I don’t feel any effects of the poison, just a… taste. I think it’s a more mental thing,” explains Cas, calming Dean up.
“Oh, okay. Umm, I hope you’re gonna feel better soon.”
“Yes, me too. It’s unpleasant and irritating,” gasps Cas, rubbing his hand on his thights.
Dean opens his mouth, but he hesitates for the moment. He's not sure if he should to say what he thinks. Finally, he decides to do this: “Cas, I think… I could help you with this.”
“How?” asks Cas surprised.
“Do you trust me?”
“Of course, Dean.”
“And do you wanna my help?” asks Dean again to be sure about that.
“Very much.”
“Okay then,” he says, nodding and licking his lip bottom.
Cas tilts his head to the right and frowns eyebrows a little. Dean seems to be stressed, but nothing wrong happened. He can’t figure it out, if Dean wants to help him in some dangerous way? He doesn’t want him to risk anything only to comfort him.
Cas understands what Dean has in his mind, when he feels his hand on his cheek. Fingertips touch his skin gently and a thumb rubs a little circle in the dimple in the corner of his mouth. Dean comes closer and finally presses his lips to Cas’. It’s a soft and subtle kiss, more like only brushing their lips. After first shock, Cas starts moving in the same rhythm, but before he can do something more, the kiss is over. They pull back and for a few seconds they are just staring into each other’s eyes. Dean takes his hand away, and turns head around. Then he stands up and clears his throat, not looking at Cas, he’s too embarrassed to catch his gaze.
“Okay, we should go. I promised to make a dinner tonight,” he says, and not waiting for anything else, walks away into the bunker.
Cas stays in the garage for a moment longer. He raises his fingers to his mouth slowly, just to process what actually happened.
He doesn't feel a venom anymore. Because Dean's lips taste like love.
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Carry On
For Suptober Day 31
It was a bright and sunny day on a small bridge somewhere near Jericho, California. A large beast of a car, a 1967 Chevrolet Impala named Baby, is parked in the middle of the bridge, four men leaning against her hood. One of the men is younger than the rest, looking to be in his early twenties even though in reality he is only three years old. He’s dressed in a tan jacket, white t-shirt, and jeans. He’s got dark blonde hair that falls into his face and covers his right eye. Jack looks at the three men next to him and can’t help but smile as he takes a sip of Coke.
Standing next to Jack is Sam Winchester. He’s the tallest of the four men at six foot four. His long chocolate brown hair is all the way to the back of his neck and the first few strands of gray are starting to creep in. He’s dressed in a light tan jacket with a gray hood, a bright blue t-shirt, jeans, and an old pair of dark gray sneakers. For the first time in over a decade, his posture is relaxed, and his brown eyes are filled with happiness. He brings the beer bottle he’s holding to his lips and takes a long drag. He looks at Jack and wraps his arm around the kid, glad to have his son next to him.
On Sam’s left side is his elder brother Dean. He’s a couple inches shorter than Sam with dark blonde hair, the sides and front with obvious streaks of gray. He’s wearing three layers of clothes: a dark blue t-shirt, a red plaid overshirt, and a grayish-blue jacket along with jeans and a brown pair of boots. He’s wearing a bright smile, his bright green eyes are full of laughter, and for once he doesn’t bear the weight of the world on his shoulders. He’s holding a beer in his right hand while his left arm is wrapped around the person standing next to him. Dean leans over and presses a chaste kiss to Cas’ cheek.
Cas is an inch shorter than Dean and even though he only looks a few years older than Dean, is actually over four billion years old. Castiel was once an Angel of the Lord and was captain of his own garrison of Heaven’s warriors. Now, he is human and he wouldn’t have it any other way. He’s dressed much more differently than normal, wearing jeans and a red t-shirt although he’s still dressed in his calf length tan trench coat. Like Dean and Sam, his cerulean blue eyes are unusually joyful and a large gummy smile takes up most of his face. He’s holding a Coke in his hands, but it’s still almost full. He’s too busy staring at his family to take a drink. He had never imagined the four of them would be where they are and is still having a hard time believing this is the ending they’re going to get after a fifteen year long journey.
The past few months have been brutal for all of them. After finding out God was planning on destroying the world, they had been searching for ways to kill the man. Chuck had put them through trial after trial, doing his best to break the four men and prevent them from winning. He had nearly succeeded when Dean had become so desperate that he had almost shot Sam and sacrificed Jack just to kill Chuck. If not for Sam talking Dean down and reminding him of the love he had for his family, Chuck would have gotten the ending he wanted. But, he had never been able to control this version of Sam, Dean, and Cas.
They had been thrown for another loop when they realized that they weren’t facing one villain but two. Billie, the new Death, had her own agenda. She wanted Chuck dead but not just because he was destroying the universe. She wanted Chuck dead, so she could become the new God and could set the world back to its original settings. She wanted to send everyone back to their original resting places and make sure that what was dead stayed dead.
The fight with Billie had almost cost Dean everything. After Chuck absorbed Amara and made his little speech about being unable to control them, he popped out of the bunker to places unknown. Dean, Cas, and Sam had dragged Jack to his room and then went to the library, intent on finding a way to save their son. They had been desperate, searching for anything that could keep Jack from imploding on himself. They didn’t care how absurd or farfetched, as long as it would save the Nephilim.
As they were searching, Billie showed up and all of them went on high alert. She was dressed in her usual jacket and dress, all black of course, with her scythe in her hand. Her eyes were twin pools of fire. “You three have ruined my plans.”
“Oh, you mean keeping you from becoming God and from killing us all over again,” Dean barked.
Billie glared at Dean. “You three have broken the natural order of things over and over again. It’s time somebody set things straight, and that means putting you back where you should be. Dean in Hell, Sam in Heaven, and Castiel in the Empty. And every decision and every action that the three of you have caused will be reversed. Order will be restored.”
“So, you lock the demons and the angels up? Close Purgatory and the Empty down? When does it stop Billie? When do you say you’ve interfered enough?” Sam asked defiantly.
“My interference will stop when I’ve made sure to set everything right,” Billie stated, her anger barely contained. “Every demon locked in Hell, every angel caged in Heaven, and every creature that dies stays dead whether it be human, monster, or angel. There will be no more coming back from the dead. Angels and demons will stay in the Empty, monsters in Purgatory, and human souls in Heaven or Hell. That was the way it was always meant to be until Chuck started bending the rules. I will not be so flexible. Now, give me Jack so I can take him to kill God.”
Castiel let his angel blade fall into his hand before stepping in front of the brothers. “You will have to go through me, through all of us before you hurt him!”
Billie let out a short chuckle. “How do you intend to stop me?”
Dean stepped up next to the angel. He pulled his gun from his pocket and pointed it at the reaper. “Like we always do, make it up as we go.” He pressed the trigger and watched as the bullet hit Billie square in the chest.
The reaper looked at the bullet hole before looking back at Dean. The calm mask she had been wearing fell and her face contorted into rage. “Fine! You want to do this the hard way, then we’ll do this the hard way. The plan has changed, I’d like to see you dead!”
Castiel surged forward, brandishing his blade. There was a clang of metal as the angel blade met scythe. While they fought, Dean turned to Sam. “GO! Get Jack, and get the hell out of dodge! We’ll hold her off! Save the kid!”
“Dean, no, there has to be…”
“Dammit Sam! GO! We don’t have time to argue,” Dean cried before pulling the demon knife from inside his jacket and charging at Billie.  Sam hesitated, taking in his brother and Cas one last time before running from the room to get Jack. 
Dean and Cas were doing their best to distract Billie, but it was obvious they were outnumbered. Dean was just a human, and Billie easily slung him out of the way when he charged her. Cas, even with his angel powers, was nothing compared to the Reaper of Death. He had been thrown against the wall a few times and blood was trickling from multiple cuts. Still, he and Dean kept fighting until Dean cried out in agony.
Cas’ eyes locked on the hunter immediately. Dean was lying on the ground at Billie’s feet, blood pouring from a gash on his side. Billie was standing over him, bright red drops falling from her scythe. “DEAN,” Cas cried.
He grabbed his angel blade and threw it at the reaper. He watched with satisfaction as the blade landed deep in her stomach. He didn’t watch what happened afterwards, instead running over to Dean and pulling him to his feet before hobbling out the library. Dean was leaning heavily on the angel as he held his hand to the gash on his side, blood dribbling out between his fingers. 
“Where the hell are we going,” Dean gasped out as Cas practically dragged him down the hallway.
“I don’t know, away from the library,” Cas replied.
Dean grimaced as his side was jarred as Cas continued to drag him. They continued to stumble along the hallway when there was a sudden boom behind them. Dean looked over his shoulder to see Billie storming down the hallway after them, murder in her eyes.
“There is nowhere for you two to escape from me,” she called.
“Cas, we gotta get somewhere and ward the room,” Dean said through clenched teeth.
The very next door they came to, Cas ushered them through. He left Dean leaning against the wall as he used his grace to cut a gash in his arm. He used the blood to start drawing symbols on the door. After he drew half a dozen, he hooked an arm around Dean’s waist and started moving forward again. Cas pulled the two bookshelves from the wall and led them into the dungeon. He dropped Dean in the chair in the middle of the pentagram on the floor before turning back to the shelves. 
After closing the shelves, Cas once again used the blood still dripping down his arm to draw even more symbols. Once he was done, he faced Dean. “That will slow her down, but it won’t stop her.” He walked over to Dean and kneeled next to the hunter. He pulled the tattered clothing away and looked at the bleeding gash on Dean’s side. He pressed his hand to it, ignoring Dean’s pained gasp, and sent his grace into the wound.
Dean relaxed as his wound was healed. “Thanks, but you should have saved your grace. What the hell are we going to do Cas?”
Cas was silent for a moment before softly saying, “I’m going to kill her. With Billie gone, all you have to worry about is Chuck.” There was a loud hammering sound, causing both men to flinch.
“Wait, what do you mean you have to worry about Chuck? How are you going to kill her?” Dean asked, his face contorting into a frown.
Cas dropped his eyes. “Similar to what Jack was going to do. I’m going to use my grace as a bomb.”
Dean jumped to his feet. “NO! NO, we can’t lose you! Sam, Jack… me, we need you!” Dean was silent for a second before adding, “I need you! I won’t lose you, Cas, not again.”
Tears were already forming in the corners of the angel’s eyes. “Dean, let me do this. You’ve fought for this whole world. You’ve sacrificed your life and made impossible decisions. All my life, I’ve made the wrong decisions even if I thought I was doing the right thing. The leviathans got out because of me, the angels fell because of me, Lucifer got out the cage because of me. I’ve made so many wrong choices; I need to make one right one!”
During the entire speech, they could hear Billie banging on the door. From what they could hear, she had almost broken it down, meaning they only had minutes left. 
“No, please Cas! You haven’t always made the wrong decisions! You pulled me and Sam from Hell, you saved our asses countless times, you made sure Jack came into this world! You’ve done tons of good,” Dean argued.
Cas reached out and placed his bloody hand on the left shoulder of Dean’s jacket. “ I know how desperately you hate the idea of Chuck taking your free will from you, but you’ve always had it. Even Chuck admitted that he could never control us, never able to take our free will from us. You were the one to teach it to me. Let me make this choice. Let this be my free will.
I know how upset you were when you thought you didn’t have that. I know you were only lying to yourself so that you could allow Jack to sacrifice himself. I know you think of him as family and as your son. So do I. You’ve sacrificed for your loved ones so many times. Now it’s my turn. Let me protect the ones I love, Sam, Jack… you.”
Dean let out a shuddering breath. “I never meant what I said about Jack and I never should have held that gun on Sam! I was so angry, so furious and I just wanted Chuck dead. I love Jack and Sam and-and.”
“Hush Dean,” Cas said, cutting the hunter off. 
“Cas.”
“I’m a dead man anyway Dean. When Jack died, the Shadow showed up to take him to the Empty. I made a deal to save Jack. I offered to go in his place, but the Shadow won’t take me until I’m truly happy,” Cas explained.
Dean looked at Cas, heartbreak evident in his eyes. “You weren’t happy with us, with me?”
Cas reached his unbloodied hand out and cupped Dean’s cheek. “Of course I was. You’ve always made me happy even when we’re fighting. And Sam and Jack, they bring happiness to me too. But with Chuck looming on the horizon, none of us have been truly happy. Only once he’s dead, will I be truly happy. So you see, that’s what awaits me after this war. Let my death mean something Dean.”
There was the sound of shattering wood and they knew Billie had finally made it through the doorway. “These wardings won’t last very long now that I know how to break them.”
Dean looked over his shoulder, tears swimming in his eyes. He focused back on Cas. “I love you.”
Cas squeezed Dean’s cheek. “From the moment I touched you in Hell, I was lost to you. You have always been my free will.”
“And you’ve always been mine,” Dean whispered before leaning forward and capturing the angel’s lips in a soft kiss.
“I love you Dean. Save Jack. Kill Chuck and save the world. And most importantly, carry on and live for me.” Cas pressed one more tender kiss to Dean’s lips before turning to face the shelves. Dean watched as Cas shed his trench coat, jacket and shirt before once more cutting his arm. He started drawing sigils, this time on his own skin. Dean could feel the power starting to coil inside the angel and he wished they had more time, that there was another option.
They watched as the shelves shattered into hundreds of pieces and Billie walked through the dust. “Well well boys. Did you really think those wardings would stop me?”
Cas glanced at Dean one last time before saying, “No, just delay you.”
Billie snorted. “Delay me for what?”
“For this,” Cas replied. He pushed Dean backwards against the wall as he slammed his hand against his chest. 
Dean watched as Cas’ grace exploded from his chest and raced towards Billie. The reaper didn’t even have a chance to put her hands up before the bright blue flames were enveloping her. In the next instant, the scythe fell to the floor along with a pile of ash. Dean looked to where Cas had been, but there was nothing left, only the burned imprints of his wings on the floor and walls. Dean curled up against the wall, tears running down his face as he ran his hands through his hair. He finally dropped his head, letting it rest against his knees as sobs shook his shoulders.
Minutes later Sam and Jack found him, still in the same position. “Dean, what happened? Where’s Cas?” his brother asked.
Dean just shook his head and pointed to the walls. He heard two gasps and knew that Jack and Sam had seen the marks. 
“Where’s Billie?”
“Dead, thanks to Cas,” Dean replied to Jack’s question.
Before they could say anything else, they were suddenly standing in a grassy field. “How is it that the four of you manage to ruin my ending every single time?” Chuck shouted. “I didn’t get my brother killing brother ending, so I figured I would let Billie kill you, and then I would just end her. But of course, Dean and that damn broken angel managed to thwart my plans once again! How?”
Dean stood to his feet and wiped the tears from his eyes. “Because you underestimate how strong love is. You stand there and say you’ve never been able to control us, that we’ve always had our own free will. That’s because the bonds between us are unshakeable. I have always protected Sam from every evil that threatened him. Cas and I shared a bond that transcended time and universes and even Hell.” Dean looked at Jack. “And that kid, that kid is family, is our son. If there’s one thing that a Winchester knows, it’s that family doesn’t end in blood. Sam, Jack, Cas, and I, we’re family. Family protects family, and that’s one thing you’ve never understood, and because of that you can’t control it.”
Chuck scoffed. “Oh please! This isn’t some Disney fairytale where love conquers all. Power, power conquers all. How do you think I killed my sister finally?”
“You lied to her… just like I did. I tricked her and told her we needed her help when in reality we were gonna kill her. Amara, if you’re in there, I’m sorry. You offered us your help and instead we planned on killing you. We were wrong, I was wrong,” Dean said, his voice full of remorse.
“Please, she wasn’t exactly hard to lie to,” Chuck spat. “She wanted balance, so all I had to do was promise it to her, and she believed me. After all the times I tried to kill and imprison her, she believed me so quickly. Well, with her power, not even you will be able to stop me. I’ll finally get the ending I want.”
“You can try,” Sam spoke up. “We’ll fight because that’s what we do.”
Chuck laughed. “What are you going to fight with? I’m God boys, how do you expect to stop me?”
Sam and Dean pulled out guns and Jack held his hand out. “I’ve always said I’d go down swinging and that there was a gun at the end of this ugly ass tunnel.”
“Whatever. It’s time to end this story,” Chuck replied as he held his hand up. He threw the three men ten yards away from him. He watched as they all rolled over to look at him as he went to snap his fingers. 
“NO,” Dean cried, but it was too late. 
Chuck snapped his fingers… and nothing happened. He repeated the motion and still nothing. “What the hell?” Suddenly, Chuck doubled over, screaming in agony. “You’re dead! I absorbed you! How is this possible?”
Sam, Jack, and Dean watched as Chuck screamed and his body slowly started disintegrating. Black smoke trailed from his eyes, his mouth, and even his fingers. It swirled around him until he was completely enveloped in it. There was one last shuddering scream before all went silent. As the smoke settled, they were able to make out a woman standing there.
“Goodbye brother,” Amara said simply. “I tried to offer you a way out, but your own arrogance got in the way. We could have ruled together, but you refused my offer, too concerned with writing your own ending. Well, I decided it was time to write one of my own.” 
And so, in the end, God wasn’t defeated by a hunter or an angel or even a Nephilim. Instead, he was beaten by his own sister.
Amara walked over to the three men. She easily healed Sam and Dean of any wounds before going to Jack. She knelt next to him and placed both hands on each side of his head. His eyes glowed a bright gold and the cracks in his skin healed. “Thank you,” he said as Amara helped him to his feet.
“You’re welcome. You know, I think it’s time for a new God. A God who will work with me and rule this universe with balance. Would you be willing to do that?” Amara asked with a smile.
Jack looked to Sam and Dean. Sam nodded. “You’re the best choice.”
Dean walked up to the kid. “Sam’s right, you’re the best choice, but it’s your choice. You get to make that decision without Sam… or me telling you what to do. I’m sorry for what I said. I-I didn’t mean it Jack. I understand if you don’t-if you don’t forgive me.”
Before Dean could say anything else, Jack was throwing his arms around him and hugging the hunter. “I know Dean. I know.” Dean hugged the Nephilim tightly.
When Jack pulled away, he looked back at Amara. “I’ll do it. The world needs balance.”
“It does,” she said as she held her hand out and white clouds spread from her fingers and swirled around Jack. 
Sam and Dean watched as Jack absorbed the white clouds into his body. He looked directly at them, his eyes glowing an electric yellow before turning back to his normal blue. “You’ll make a pretty good God Jack,” Sam said.
Sam pulled Jack into a hug while Amara walked up to Dean. “Well, Dean.”
“Thank you. You didn’t owe us anything. You didn’t owe me anything, especially after I lied to you,” Dean said as he watched his family.
“No, I didn’t, but your apology went a long way. My brother lied to me Dean and felt no remorse about it. He refused to bring balance to this world, and so I took matters into my own hands. Together, Jack and I can do great things. Far greater than what my brother and I ever could.” She turned to face the hunter. “You know, I expected you to be happier. You all came out alive and my brother is gone. Your lives are yours now.”
Dean looked at the ground. “We didn’t all make out. Billie was just as much a villain. Cas killed her by sacrificing himself.”
“I see. That does explain a lot. I’m sorry Dean. This version of Castiel was certainly my favorite. He annoyed my brother to no end,” Amara remarked.
“A crack in his chassis. He was the only Cas with free will just as I was the only Dean with free will and Sam was the only Sam with free will. I guess Jack too.”
“Actually, this is the only universe with Jack. It seems the decisions that the three of you made are what lead to him being born. He was a character my brother never wrote.”
“Well, you never do write about your replacement,” Dean said with a huff.
Sam and Jack chose that moment to walk over to them. “So, how are we getting home?” Sam asked.
“I can take care of that. Jack, I will come for you in a few days and we can start your training. Sam, go call Eileen. I’m sure she would like to hear the good news.” In the next instant, the two were gone. She turned to Dean. “And Dean, you gave me what I needed most. I want to do the same for you.”
“What?” Dean asked.
Amara didn’t answer, just smiled at him and sent him back to the bunker. He landed in the kitchen to see Sam on the phone with Eileen. He smiled at his brother before walking out the kitchen and heading to his room. He couldn’t understand what Amara meant. They had defeated Chuck and Billie and they were alive. There was nothing else he needed.
He shook his head and opened his bedroom door. He flicked the light on and gasped. Sitting on his bed was someone he never thought he’d see again. He watched as the trench coat clad angel stood to his feet and faced him.
Dean stared at the man with disbelief. “Cas?”
“Hello Dean.”
Now, five days later, the four of them had decided to take a roadtrip to California to have some fun for the first time in a long time. Cas was now human, therefore nulling his deal with the Shadow. He and Dean had become inseparable, unwilling to be more than a few inches apart. Sam and Jack had teased them but were glad that the two of them got the ending they deserved.
Before they left for Cali, Dean had put the old KAZ 2Y5 license plate on Baby. He had unloaded her trunk of all the weapons and instead packed it full of everything needed to enjoy a weeklong beach vacation for four. Before they reached the beach, Dean had told them there was one stop he wanted to make. Sam had immediately recognized the small bridge in the middle of the forest on the outskirts of Jericho.
“Dude, are you serious? Why are we stopping here?”
Dean got out of the car, the three men following him. He opened Baby’s trunk and then the cooler inside. He grabbed a beer for Sam and himself and Cokes for Jack and Cas. “Well, it all started here fifteen years ago, I figured it could finish here too.”
Sam took the bottle. “I’m pretty sure it started when you broke into my apartment and told me dad had been on a hunting trip and hadn’t been home for a few days.”
The four of them leaned against Baby’s hood. Dean wrapped an arm around Cas’ waist and pressed a kiss to his cheek before looking at his brother. “Yeah, you’re right, but this was where we ended our first case, so close enough. I wanted this to be where we ended our last case. You, me, Cas, we’re officially retired now.” He looked at Jack. “Son, it’s your turn. You and Amara better keep this world straight. The three of us want to enjoy a long retirement.”
Jack nodded, a bright smile on his face. “We’ll do our best.”
“I know you will,” Dean said as he got up to turn the radio on. He grinned as a familiar song came on.
“Carry on my wayward son,” Jack sang.
“There will be peace when you are done,” Sam continued.
“Lay your weary head to rest,” Cas said as he leaned his head against Dean’s shoulders.
“Don’t you cry no more,” Dean finished softly.
A few minutes later, they decided to head out. Cas and Jack were the first to climb into the car while Dean and Sam stood at the side of the bridge. They stood shoulder to shoulder, looking into the distance. 
“Well Sammy, we did it.”
“It’s Sam and yeah we did. You were wrong, you know.”
“Oh yeah, about what?”
“There was a light at the end of that tunnel.”
Dean smiled. “I guess there was. C’mon, we’ve got a beach to go lounge on.”
Sam looked at his brother. He hadn’t seen Dean so happy or relaxed in a long time. Now, they would both be able to look like that for years to come. The gray that was starting to appear in their hair would become more pronounced and the aches in their bones would get worse but they would be alive. They would get old but they would be happy. They would get a life they never imagined they could have but always secretly wished for. 
“Can I pick the music?”
Dean laughed. “You know the house rules Sammy, driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole!”
“Jerk!”
“Bitch!”
The two brothers stood there laughing for a moment longer. They had lost friends and family over the years, but they had also gained some as well. They had fought and killed every monster the world had to offer them including God and Death their selves. Now, they were finally done and they could lay their weary heads to rest. After fifteen long years, their long journey had come to an end. Woop woop! I managed to do all the prompts for this years Suptober! Thank you @winchester-reload for the awesome prompt list and hosting this wonderful event! You are amazing!
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Six Feet Apart
CarryOnCap’s Masterlist
Summary: Dean is fed up with a lot of things about the Coronavirus and safety guidelines, but he’s got a compelling reason to follow them. Sometimes it’s funny what a little faith can do.
Warnings: Obviously everything surrounding the ‘Rona, mentions of terminal illness, some angst, some feels but a positive ending
A/N: @rileynicole1967​ requested a Dean x reader fic based on “Six Feet Apart” by Alec Benjamin. This is definitely not what you asked for because it took a weird turn, BUT it was very therapeutic for me to write and I still managed to give it the ending you asked for. So I appreciate the request more than you know :) 
[IF you happen to be curious about the inspiration behind this:   I’ve been in a rough place for quite some time-- hence my Tumblr absence. Not that the self-disclosure is really needed, but my grandma is in really bad shape with her cancer and I’ve been trying to make things work with a guy who very well could have been “The One” under non-’Rona circumstances. I’ve been caught in a terrible, anxiety-inducing middle between obviously wanting to date and spend time with a guy who is out in the world everyday, but only being able to do so much without risking my grandma’s health. Aaand kind of mine too. Stupid faulty meatsuit haha. Anyway. Life has been so stinking heavy but this helped a little.]
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Keys. 
Mask. 
Wallet. 
Phone.
It was routine now. Dean had gone through the process so many times that his body practically went on autopilot as he grabbed the items on his way out of the motel room he’d checked into late last night.
There were days he thought the guidelines were frustrating, inconvenient, and even a little pointless. He knew he’d probably get the virus at some point anyway and he’d made peace with that. Maybe he’d be able to fight it off just fine, maybe he wouldn’t. But the chances of that happening were like anything else in life. Even if the world had managed to come to an eerie halt, that didn’t mean it applied to people like him and Sam who still had work to do. 
Although he knew he had everything he needed, he checked his pockets again just to be sure. If it were up to him, truthfully he wouldn’t even bother with the mask or the “social distancing” crap. 
But it wasn’t just about him anymore. And he couldn’t afford to take any chances.
Oh, I miss you most at six feet apart when you’re
Right outside my window, but can’t ride inside my car
And it hurts to know just how lovely you are
And be too far away to hold, but close enough to break my heart
I miss your smile
Feels like miles
Six feet apart
Dean pulled into a worn concrete driveway in front of a modest white house. The front porch, which he’d become quite familiar with lately, contained two cast iron chairs and a matching table. He’d never been inside, couldn’t risk the possibility of bringing the virus into her home if he’d unknowingly come into contact with it. While he was constantly on the road chasing cases, she only left the house for treatments, appointments, and intermittent trips to the porch when he could make it back to visit.
He sighed heavily, putting the car in park before turning to glare at the offending bit of fabric on the leather seat beside him. He hated wearing that stupid mask. Hated the way the material trapped each breath, circulating the warm air right back to his face. He hated how stuffy and suffocating it felt. Sometimes it even made him feel a little claustrophobic.
But she’d sewn it herself and given it to him so he could stop using t-shirts, bandanas, and any other piece of clothing he could find in his trunk as a makeshift mask each time he came to see her. Sometimes he struggled to keep in mind what a thoughtful gesture it had been. That having to wear it might be annoying, but it really wasn’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things. And if a stupid piece of fabric had even a small chance of keeping them safe, then he could deal with it for a few hours, couldn’t he? 
A few hours, he thought sourly. Nowadays they were lucky if they could even get that much time together. But he’d take what he could get.
Reluctantly, he grabbed the mask and looped the elastic bands around each ear. After fussing with the edges, trying in vain to make it fit comfortably, he let his head fall back against the seat in frustration. As he examined the space above him, sinking deeper into his ruminating thoughts, he began to wonder how much longer he could keep this up and if all of this was really worth it.
So far, so far, but so close
Like a star out in the cosmos
Can’t touch the beauty I see
That’s how it feels at six feet
It had been a while since the last time he’d been able to visit her. When the front door opened and two women emerged, he climbed out of the car and walked straight to his usual spot on the overgrown lawn. As he got closer and appraised her condition, he tried to conceal his reaction.
She looked rough. Despite the fuzzy robe she wore, he could tell how feeble her figure was beneath. Her movements were slow and deliberate, making him suspect she may have fallen again recently. He clenched his jaw, recalling how she’d been too weak to pick herself up last time and had remained on the floor until someone came to check on her the next morning. 
With help from the other woman, who he assumed was a new caretaker, she settled into the cushions on one of the chairs. Her chest heaved and her eyes fell closed as she took a moment to recover from the exertion of her short walk. When her eyes finally fluttered open, they were a stark contrast against her sallow skin.  
“Long time, no see,” she teased, her voice a hoarse whisper.
Dean nodded. “How’re you feeling today?”
“Can’t complain.”
In a way, he knew she was lying. He had a feeling she was having a rough day, but she was never one to complain. He had quickly learned that no matter what was going on in her life, she was the kind of person who worried about everyone else and put their well-being before her own. He wondered what kind of update the doctor had given her this time, but he was too afraid to ask.
“It’s so good to see you.”
Her gentle admission shook him from his thoughts. The edges of her eyes crinkled and he could just imagine the smile she wore beneath her mask. 
Space and time are interwoven
Well, at least that’s what we’re told
When I was young, I was suspicious, but it’s true
Time sticks like glue
I feel so blue
Here missing you
So I think I’ll build a time machine and go back to a time
When we didn’t need to measure six feet on the ground
When I came around
That’s not allowed
I can’t go back now
He’d never really been the relationship type. He hadn’t been looking for anything when their paths had first crossed, but there was something about her that had captured his interest. The more they’d gotten to know one another, the more he learned just how much they had in common. 
It had made him feel uneasy at first-- how easy she was for him to talk to. She rarely pressed him on anything and she had a way of making him feel comfortable even with the hardest conversations. They’d shared their life stories; their favorite memories, biggest letdowns, family dramas, and everything in between. After all of the monsters they’d each faced in their lives...this one was the deadliest and ugliest he’d ever had to face. And of all the people in the world who didn’t deserve to go through something like this, she topped the list.
Okay, sure, no one really deserved a death sentence. But didn’t it always make it worse that bad things always seemed to happen to good people? 
Dean had beaten leviathans and reapers. He’d taken out loads of vampires, ghouls, and ghosts. He’d ganked more angel and demon douchebags than he could count. But when he had asked her to let him help-- when he’d mentioned what Cas could do or offered to work with Sam to find a spell that might heal her-- she politely declined. She had simply thanked him and explained that it wouldn’t be fair to everyone else fighting for their lives like she was. That her life was in no way more important than anyone else’s. She’d told Dean sometimes these things just happen and have a little faith, you never know.
Dean had of course tried to argue, but he couldn’t quite put into words just how special she was. That she didn’t deserve this and he’d give anything to change their circumstances. At one point he’d even considered tracking down a crossroads demon and making a deal to switch places with her, but he knew she wouldn’t have wanted that. 
No matter how many times he tried to bring it up or how much he wished he could fight this one for her, there was nothing he could do to fight the monster slowly killing her from the inside out.
So, I miss you most at six feet apart when you’re
Right outside my window, but can’t ride inside my car
And it hurts to know just how lovely you are
And be too far away to hold, but close enough to break my heart
I miss your smile
Feels like miles
Six feet apart
It seemed like there was never enough time. They’d talked all afternoon and neither one of them were ready to say goodbye but, when she suddenly shivered, he knew it was time for him to leave. It wasn’t cold outside by any means, but it took a lot more to keep her warm these days.
He couldn’t help but linger a little longer, admiring her from where he still sat in the grass. Sometimes just being in her presence helped ease a little of the hopelessness he always seemed to grapple with. It was starting to take a toll on him-- not knowing if things would ever get better or if the world would ever return to some sense of normalcy.
What he wanted more than anything was to walk right up on the porch and wrap his arms around her. It didn’t make sense how much he ached to just be near her. He’d never admit it out loud, but it was almost physically painful how much he wanted to reach out and touch her-- to hug her, kiss her, or even see her smile without their stupid masks.
But she was barely holding on and he knew her body was fighting every moment of the day just to keep her alive. 
He hated wearing his mask. He hated how he could be so close to her and still feel so far away. He hated not being able to hold her and he hated that there didn’t seem to be an end or a solution in sight for the state of the world at the moment. He hated that she was dying and there was nothing he could do about it. And he especially hated the fact that the universe had to have a pretty damn cruel sense of humor to let him meet someone like her in a time like this. Even though he was fed up with feeling like he was stuck in another one of Gabriel’s twisted, incessant pranks...the thought of walking away and not having her in his life at all was far worse. 
So he took it one day at a time. He knew there was a chance he might get the virus at some point and usually he was ready to accept whatever cards fate dealt him. Maybe he’d be able to fight it off, maybe he wouldn’t. But she wouldn’t be able to. And he knew if he slipped up, if he somehow managed to pass it along, that that would be the end for her.
He hated a lot of things lately and he wasn’t sure if they’d ever really go away. But there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that every single inconvenience and moment of frustration was worth it for him to be able to spend time with her-- even six feet apart.
***
Dean was staring up at the ceiling, unable to fall back asleep. The nightmares didn’t come as often anymore but, when they did...well, they were no walk in the park. He let out a sharp breath, squeezing his eyes shut as he pushed the images of her sunken face from his mind.
The movement had jostled her, and he hugged her closer when she began to stir. He placed a gentle kiss on top of her head and she hummed softly as she nestled further into his chest.
When they were in the thick of it, it had been so hard to see a way out. To believe they’d be okay or ever have a shot at actually being together. To believe there would be an end to the virus or that there was any chance she could get better. 
Sometimes those dark days, when all hope seemed lost, felt like nothing more than a distant nightmare. But Dean refused to let himself forget. Maybe it was morbid, but every moment with her felt a little bit sweeter when he reminded himself of how grim those days had been and of everything they’d had to overcome. When he remembered everything she’d had to endure.
It was honestly a miracle that he was lucky enough to hold her in his arms like this. Everyone had asked him on numerous occasions if he’d done something, but even he didn’t have an explanation. He really didn’t care whether it was faith or something supernatural or even just one of life’s unexplained mysteries-- all that mattered was that she was healthy and alive. 
So he kept the memories of those days close and promised himself he’d never take the time he had with her for granted. They had made it through one of the darkest times in either of their lives and he had no doubt they’d face more in the future. But, with her by his side, he had faith they’d find a way to make it through those days too.
So far, so far, but so close
Like a star out in the cosmos
Can’t touch the beauty I see
That’s how it all feels to me
So far, so far, but so close
Like a star out in the cosmos
Can’t touch the beauty I see
That’s how it feels at six feet
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jjongleurs · 3 years
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Something is wrong with Cas inside the Empty, and it’s being driven mad. The Shadow can’t go back to sleep, and the Empty is loud. Jack, half human, had made it loud. The explosion wasn’t just energy. It was partially his human essence permeating the Empty as well. Cas, well, he has been becoming human for quite some time now. Not just because he lost his grace and his powers dwindled, but because he was gaining humanity. Never, in all the infinite universes Chuck had created, had this happened. This Cas, was the one who rebelled. The one that refused to follow orders, the one that learned to care about humanity, the one that fell in love with Dean. All the others had listened to what they were told. They all killed Dean sooner or later, never met him at all, or were utterly indifferent to him. They never had the chance to find out what that initial fondness for Dean Winchester really was. 
Cas, stuck in the Empty, had a piece of Dean’s soul in him—the same way Dean had a piece of Cas’ grace. They were inextricably linked, and that was it. Cas—Angel of the Lord, Warrior of Heaven—became less so over time. He changed as he learned to love, as he became protector of the world, of the Winchesters. Of one particular Winchester. Dean, although extraordinary, was also just an ordinary man. He fought the stuff of nightmares with bloody fists, kept a protective fire in his soul, waded through the horrors of life out of selflessness. He did what he did, what he could, because it was all he knew how to do. Not because he was an angry, volatile, violent person. He did so because he loved greasy burgers in busy diners, the sound of billiards in a musty bar, the sound of the Impala’s engine on a lonely road, having a shitty beer with his brother, and every other unimportant detail of being human. Those ordinary moments were few and far between in his life compared to that of most, but, because he knew those joys, he made sure every other unimportant, mundane, boring human with an apple pie life or otherwise got a shot at those joys, the things often taken for granted. 
Saving people, hunting things, the family business. The “business” part of that wasn’t a monetary exchange, it was one of joy, and love, and life. Dean would give what he could, whether it be blood, sweat, tears, his soul, his life, his happiness, whatever else he had to offer, in exchange for whoever he could save. He wasn’t in the business of taking, he was in the business of giving. 
Dean never saw that, but Cas did. He saw it in every atom of his being as he put him together—bit by bit. He saw it in each sparkling piece of his soul as he pulled him out of hell. Cas saw it as they stood, side by side, saving the world time and time again. Cas saw it, too, when they were on opposing sides. When they were angry at each other, when Cas distanced himself because he was no longer worthy or useful enough to stand by his side, when he couldn’t stand the sight of Dean, he saw the selflessness, the love, the care he had for him and for the world. 
All of that, and Dean couldn’t love himself. So Cas did it for him. He loved him because, sometimes, it was all he could do. He loved him because Dean deserved to be loved. He loved him because he just couldn’t help it. 
Castiel, an angel almost as old as time itself, was never supposed to love. He was supposed to be a creature of duty and obedience. Dean Winchester taught him otherwise. He said a great big fuck you to destiny, how things are supposed to be, to fate, to the very fabric of reality, and to God himself. He dismantled every facet of how things ought to be, and grabbed hold of the free will none of them were ever supposed to have. 
The Empty was no longer quiet with these thoughts. They crashed like thunder, roared like the engine of a car, they emanate like a large crowd’s chatter. They filled the empty with the sounds of humanity. The Empty, older than creation and God himself, was never supposed to contain creatures like Castiel. The empty was devoid of life, but full of things. It wasn’t a graveyard. It was a junkyard. It was full of broken tools, weapons, wind-up toys, and the cogs of machines that used to work. Castiel was a thing like no other because he was no longer a thing. He was no longer a tool of the author, a thoughtless toy soldier to be ordered around, he was no longer silent because he was alive--because he was becoming human.
Cas was asleep, but unlike the remnants of angels, reapers, demons, and long-forgotten things in the darkness, he dreamed.
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Being Crowley’s daughter and dating Jack Kline would include...
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Not my gif!! (Please tell me if you, the owner, would like me to take the gif down!)
-
Of course you were half demon, your mother was human but died when you were 10
You met the boys way back when you were a teen; maybe around 15 years old in season 8 or 9
You were half demon but your mom showed love, taught you to give it back and be kind
You were the ultimate princess of Hell duh
While the boys were hesitant around you, they eventually grew to love you
And ohhh...your dad always threatened them if you tagged along in hunts
“You let a monster lay one finger on my little bear’s head, and I will end you two.” “Daaaaaad….”
Rowena never admitted it, but she utterly loved and adored you. She thought of you as an apprentice since you sometimes practiced spells with her
During Kelly’s pregnancy with Jack, you became her protector as well as Jack’s
Kelly was also hesitant around you since you were half demon, she didn’t want you to maybe end up killing her and her baby or even using Jack as a weapon once he was born
Just like the Winchester brothers, she grew to care for you too. Kelly knew Jack liked you from the start because he always just happened to kick whenever you touched her stomach
You were there when your dad killed himself for the boys, Sam was the one holding you back
Your dad’s last glance at you was a small, simple smile. “Goodbye boys. Take care of my little bear.”
When he stabbed himself, you screamed so loud that Sam and Dean winced at the pain in your voice
When Cas died a little later, you were crying right next to Dean on the ground because he was practically an uncle to you just like Sam and Dean
You mourned for three people that night; your dad, Castiel and Kelly
You vowed to avenge your dad no matter what, you were angry and sad just like Dean for so long
You never went back to Hell and you were sure that you weren’t even the next ruler of Hell anyway, not that it mattered to you
When you guys found Jack, it was strange to see that he was actually your age
You barely talked to him, angry at him for what his father did to Cas and made your dad do
Soon, you slowly began to open up to Jack more and more because he was really one of the only people you could talk to
His innocence was actually kinda adorable, his questions about life were funny too
“(Y/n), what is this?” “That is a pair of headphones, Jack.”
You were still a little bitter towards him until you literally cried on his shoulder one night about how you felt
“I was too weak to save my father, to save Castiel and soon, maybe I’ll be too weak to save you and the boys.”
You half expected Jack to be a little angry at you but he was actually really kind and gentle about it
That was when you realized you were gaining feelings for the nephilim and you didn’t even bother denying it
Unknown to you, Jack was feeling the same way
Castiel coming back was amazing to you and Dean, your uncle came back from the dead!
“Two salty hunters, a half demon princess, one half angel kid, a guy who just back from the dead. Team Free Will 2.0, here we go.”
But the happiness didn’t last long when Jack ran away because he didn’t want to hurt anybody after he accidentally killed a man
Once you found him again, you almost slapped him and yelled at him
“How dare you leave like that?! Do you know how scared and worried I was for you?!”
That was when you had your first kiss with him
He was trying to calm you down but you just caved in and smashed your lips onto his own
Jack didn’t really know what to do but went along with it anyway since he really liked you too
Rescuing Jack and Mary (the Winchesters’ mother) from the other dimension was tiring but you did end up saving both of them later on
Seeing Lucifer again and Jack went off with him, you felt mildly betrayed and hurt
Lucifer tried to convince his son that you didn’t really love him, that you were just using him to get back at his father
Jack never bought it though, he knew you loved him more than anything
He felt so powerless without his grace, Jack was so tired and all he wanted to do was be with you again
When you were trapped in the church with Jack, Sam and Lucifer, you tried your best to kill the devil with your powers
“Poor little girl…left all alone by her daddy.” “Screw you.”
You felt so weak not being able to defeat Lucifer, so vulnerable and weak
Lucifer finally tired you three out and gave a small proposition; one of you dies by the archangel blade and the other two walks out alive
Sam gave you and Jack the blade and told you to kill him but you weren’t having it, so you took the blade from him and pressed it against your own stomach
“I love you, Jack. I love you both so much.” “(Y/n) no!”
Just before you could finish the job, Dean came in and began to fight Lucifer with Michael
Jack was holding you from collapsing becuse the blade had drawn some blood
“Why would you do that?” You smiled weakly at him. “Because I’m not letting either of you die for someone as worthless as me.”
The battle was won by Michael!Dean and finally after all these years, Lucifer was dead
The victory was short lived when Michael had taken full control over Dean and left
Dean was MIA for so long and Jack was feeling worthless without his powers, it was all so much
You, of course, comforted Jack about how he felt. He didn’t deserve to have his grace taken away by someone he thought cared about him
You were so scared when his illness was starting to take him over. Jack was dying and there was nothing you could do to help
When Jack died and went to Heaven, his own Heaven was with you and the boys until he (sadly) had to leave it to go to his mother’s
Jack brought you up to her, telling Kelly that he was in love with you to which she just smiled
“I’m in love with her, mom.” “I know, Jack. I know.”
Rowena was used as a suit for Michael and when he went to attack at the bunker, Jack killed him and gained his grace back….at the cost of burning his soul out
Soulless Jack was saddening to you, he was empty and wasn’t the same boy as before
You weren’t even sure he loved you anymore since he couldn’t feel anything at all
You set your feelings and concerns aside and continued to act the same as you normally would with Jack in your relationship, but it was never the same
After he killed Mary Winchester, you became much more worried about his condition and mildly scared at his actions
Jack being locked away by Sam and Dean was torture to you. Yes, he didn’t have a soul anymore but he was still the same boy you fell in love with. You missed him
When he escaped, God/Chuck came back and was the one who told you that you needed to kill Jack or it could be very dangerous
Instead of Dean, you were the one holding the gun to Jack’s head while he kneeled on the ground, ready to die
In the end, you couldn’t kill him. He was still Jack, he was still your everything and still the love of your life
But before you knew it, Chuck killed Jack himself and raised the souls from Hell
As you and the boys were trapped in the tomb with no way out, you sobbed and mourned over Jack’s dead body with his eyes burned out
The amount of anger you had for Belphegor when he had the audacity to use your boyfriend’s body as a vessel was only felt once for when your dad died
Sealing off the town was hard enough when you had a demon in your ass the whole damn time. Belphegor never left you alone
“Hey sweetheart...” “Belphegor, I am half demon and I will literally send you back to Hell no matter what.”
You went with Belphegor and Castiel down to the rupture in Hell in order to finally get rid of all the ghosts and souls
While down there, you found out that Belphegor was really planning on sucking up all the souls to be as powerful as God
You managed to get him down and punched him so many times that his lip was bleeding and his sunglasses came off, showing Jack’s full face
“Please (Y/n)...stop. It’s me...Jack.” “....You’re not him. And you’ll never be him.”
You killed Belphegor using your powers and needless to say, Dean was not very happy about going off-plan (which was stupid to you because you would’ve had to kill the demon anyway)
You had never felt so depressed and empty in all your life. Your mom and dad were dead, Rowena was dead because of the spell she had to use and Jack was dead as well. Everyone you ever loved was dead and you were just an empty shell of who you used to be
But when Jack was resurrected by Billie the Reaper, you felt the same way as Dean did when Cas came back
It wasn’t until you realized that he was the exact same as before, soulless. You couldn’t bare it, Jack didn’t love or care about anything anymore.
As much as you still loved him, you finally broke things off with him because no matter how much you tried to deny it, your old Jack was gone
When those hellhounds were after you all, Sam and Dean were the ones holding the doors shut while you, Jack, and Cas were in the main part of the chapel trying to activate the Occultum...until Jack swallowed it
“Where’s the Occultum?” “I ate it.” “YOU WHAT?”
Just before the hellhounds could maul the four of you to death, there was a bright light that killed them and Jack’s unconscious body appeared onto the floor
Later, Jack was found awake in the bunker’s kitchen, crying to himself and Cas told the rest of you that his soul has been restored
You couldn’t help but let a small tear escape your eye. Jack was so innocent and new to the world but already was introduced to so many horrible things within three years
You loved Jack, and you always would no matter what happens to him or you
-
A/N: Most of you might know about the BLM protests and the unjust murder of George Floyd but if you haven’t donated or signed any petitions yet, I would strongly suggest that you do! Black Lives Matter! I hear you and I stand with you.
Justice For George Floyd - https://www.change.org/p/mayor-jacob-frey-justice-for-george-floyd
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huntertales · 4 years
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Part Two: Angel of Mercy. (Heaven Can’t Wait S09E06)
Episode Summary: When Dean gets a call from Castiel about a possible case dealing with spontaneous human combustion, the older Winchester decides to investigate–on his own. The reader decides to tag along. She doesn’t take no for an answer when Dean shares his odd hesitations on letting her work on a hunt with Castiel. Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader Word Count: 3,514.
Previous Part | Supernatural Rewrite Masterlist
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You suppose the different ways Cas could have ended up after going his own way might have been worse than where he was today. The angel-turned-human was blending into society without much trouble. Sure, he was a little awkward. Didn’t get most things like etiquette and social norms. You hoped he picked up enough knowledge from the few years he spent among humans. So far from what you could tell, he was doing okay. It made you breathe a little easier in some kind of reassurance that he was able to do things on his own without any help from you and the boys. Much as you wanted to lend a hand on this journey to make sure he was all right. 
In some way you understood a little too well the vulnerability of learning how to live on your own. You struggled to find your own footing after your mother passed away. John was unreliable in any way. He took the boys and went on his way after making sure the legal aspects of you living on your own were cleared. Occasionally he checked on you to make sure you were still alive. He taught you some tricks on how to protect yourself from monsters. But he never taught you anything useful in life. Basic skills on how to be an adult. Your mother might have planned out your life for when you turned eighteen, thinking she had a few years to help teach you to live without her. Things never worked out that way. A demon threw a wrench in her plan and screwed everything up. 
Angels, demons. Whatever kind of creature it was, they always somehow managed to screw everything to hell. While the circumstances were vastly different compared to the situation Cas was dealing with, it all boiled down to the same thing. The lifestyle you relied on, the normality that you didn't realize you depended so much on, vanished. You had to deal with the loneliness and responsibilities of being an adult. You were forced to grow up quickly and learn how to be an adult, Cas had to learn how to be...human. Learn the things that were second nature to you. The proper importance of daily hygiene and when to eat—and what to properly eat. Things he never had to worry about before. 
Somehow Cas learned enough to have made it this far without his fellow siblings sniffing out where he was. He found his footing and blended with society. He was just another average human working a day job. From what you were able to observe from the distance it seemed like Cas was just another average working waiting on people. Maybe a little more on the stranger side. No matter what, Cas had a slightly awkward charm to him. He was doing all right. But you weren't satisfied with a distance observation. 
Cas was behind the counter tending to a customer with a little too much enthusiasm for a retail worker. The woman was a little weirded out from the thumbs up he gave after handing over her lotto ticket. She forced a smile of her own before being on her way, letting the next customer in line step up. Which turned out to be two familiar faces the angel didn't expect to see. You offered the guy a smile from the look of shock that crossed his face. Dean wasted no time making things awkward when he pretended to be another paying customer. 
"I'll have some beef jerky and a pack of menthols." Dean said. 
“What are you two doing here?” Cas asked in a quiet tone of his voice. His body language drastically changed from the customer he tended to before. All of his friendliness seemed to have vanished for his friends who drove all the way here for him.
"Gee, it's nice to see you, too, Cas." You replied to the angel's rather frigid and distant greeting with a bit of hurt in your voice. 
"It's Steve now." The angel corrected you. You furrowed your brow slightly when he gestured to his nametag pinned to his hideous blue vest he wore. You forced yourself to bite back a laugh from the reality of the situation. Heaven's most fierce and loyal soldier was now working at a gas station. "And...you both surprised me."
"Well, the feeling is mutual." Dean agreed with the angel. He offered little support for the struggle Cas had to go through in order to keep himself safe. He found all of this comical as yourself, but he didn't have the restraint to keep his feelings well hidden. The sight of his friend working in retail was all too amusing not to pass up the chance to poke fun at the situation. "I  mean, I knew you had to lay low from the angel threat, but, uh, wow! This is some cover." 
Cas didn't find the way you and Dean were handling what he had been doing very helpful. He moved a few steps down the counter so the three of you could continue this conversation away from any lingering ears. "My grace is gone. What did you expect?" Cas asked. "Do you have any idea how hard it was? When I fell to earth, I didn't just lose my powers. I had nothing. Now...I'm a sales associate." The angel tried to see the silver lining of things at what he was able to accomplish on his own. You and Dean weren't as enthusiastic as him for the way he was living his life compared to the way it could be. 
A delivery driver briefly interrupted your conversation so he could get Cas to sign off on some products. "I'm responsible for inventory, sales, customer service." Cas scribbled down the fake name he'd been going by and thanked the driver before continuing on of all the things he deemed important. You never liked to stick your nose up at the hard work people do for whatever job they might do, but seeing this was...pathetic. “I keep this place clean and presentable. And when my manager’s busy, I even prepare the food. 
"Wow." Dean didn't even try to hide his opinion on what he thought of this whole thing. "So you went from fighting heavenly battles to nuking taquitos?"
Cas must still be learning how to read between the lines of what people say to the tone of their voice. He didn’t understand that Dean wasn’t being supportive from the way he spoke his words. The angel still smiled, like he was proud of himself. “Nachos too.” 
You and Dean silently agreed this whole arrangement was not working out. But the angel refused to see things from your perspective. He thought what he was doing was perfect. It might be for any fellow normal human. Not for an angel like him who had done so much. He couldn’t waste out the rest of his days working nine to five and waiting on people. You wanted him back on the road with you and the boys. Trying to get his grace back and fix his home that was up in heaven. Cas continued on working, refusing to keep entertaining this conversation standing idly while he got paid. 
“This is not you, man. You are above this.” Dean tried to talk some sense into the angel while he stepped out from the stockroom carrying a box full of products. “Come on.” 
“No, Dean. I’m not.” Cas said. He set the box down on a shelf and gave you the real reason why he refused to budge on his new life. The simplicity of it all was comforting to him. “I failed at being an angel. Everything I  ever attempted came out wrong. But here, at least I have a shot at getting things right. I guess you can’t see it, but there’s a real dignity in what I do—a human dignity.” 
“Hate to interrupt you guys, but, Steve?” You looked over your shoulder when you heard a female voice jump into the conversation. A woman stood with a mop and bucket at her side, from the familiar vest she wore it was clear she was one of Cas’ coworkers. “Customer had an accident in the men’s room.”
“I’m on it.” Cas said. 
“Oh, and tonight—seven at my place work for you?” She asked a vague question that made you wonder what they were talking about. Cas nodded his head, and the way his lips stretched into a smile helped connect the dots. She returned the smile with one of her own. "You're the best." 
You picked up enough social cues to realize what was going on. Dean had a feeling himself of what was brewing between Cas and his coworker. “That’s what this is about!” You softly nudged the angel in the arm and smiled at him. Cas responded with absolute confusion at what you were hinting around. “Come on. The girl.” 
“No, Y/N. It’s not.” Cas said. You rolled your eyes and raised your brow from what he was trying to deny. Either that, or he was too naive to understand what his friend was hinting around. Cas was even more clueless when it came to things as romance. Poor fella nearly got himself killed after being led to bed by a pretty face. "Nora—she's a very nice woman, I'm pretty sure she's not a reaper intent on killing me, and she's asked me out. That’s something humans do, right?”
“Yeah. I mean, my dates used to end when I ran out of singles. And I can’t tell you the last time Y/N and I went on one.” Dean said. Your love life as hunters meant your chances of dating were rare to almost none. The world ending and angels falling out of the sky put a damper on your relationship at times. But for someone like Cas, who was trying to live like the average person, they were. Dean had to agree with him on that. “Yeah, that’s something that humans do.” 
Your conversation was briefly stopped at the sound of Dean's phone going off. He stepped away to take it when he recognized the number from the sheriff you spoke to at the first crime scene. It allowed Cas to tend back to his job to work on stocking the shelf 
“There was another kill—over at the high school.” Dean informed the both of you. “You comin’, Cas?” 
“I wouldn’t be much use.” Cas mumbled. “I don’t have my powers.” 
“So? I’ve had powers and not once did they help me with hunting.” You said. “Dean’s never had powers and he manages to do just fine.” 
“Both of you are hunters.” Cas said. 
“And you’re a hunter in training, remember?” You reminded the angel.
“Yeah.” The angel replied with the least enthusiastic tone he could muster up. You didn’t understand why he wasn’t willing to get back into the game. “Dean said I sucked.” 
You huffed out a breath from Dean's abrasiveness and turned your gaze over to the man. Your hardening expression made him suddenly regret his words spoken in the past. "I didn't say that." Dean tried to back himself out of the corner he put himself in. But he struggled to do so when you crossed your arms over your chest, waiting for his response. "I said that there was, uh, uh...you know, 'room for improvement.'"
“Come on, Cas.” You said. “For old time’s sake.” 
Cas let out a sigh of defeat, deciding to agree with the plan after all. “All right, my shift’s over in five minutes, and my date’s not until later, so…” 
“Attaboy!” You cheered, lightly slapping a hand on his shoulder from seeing him hunting again. “Dean, go make yourself useful and get the car.” 
“Not just yet.” Cas stopped the man from heading out the door. You and Dean gave the angel a confused response from the interruption. It seemed you forgot Cas was still on the clock. “I have to clean the bathroom.” 
“Have fun.” You said. You tried to hide the grimacing expression that wanted to cross your face at the idea of what he had to do. While Cas made his way over to the mop, you called out some friendly advice. “Make sure to wash your hands afterwards.”
+ + + 
The three of you arrived at the crime scene a short time after Cas finished up work. You and Dean flashed your badges to the officer keeping an eye on the scene after you ducked under the police tape guarded off the crime scene. A crowd of high schoolers gathered around to figure out what was going on. Cas trailed behind the both of you, still wearing his vest after you told him to take it off. Thankfully nobody said anything. The angel went off to explore the scene while you and Dean headed over to the sheriff who was speaking to a teenager who looked to be distraught at what she witnessed. Her arms were crossed tightly over her chest and cheeks stained with tears as she retold the story of what happened to the sheriff.
“One second we’re talking, and the next, she just...stops.” The girl explained the situation that led to all of you here. “And then everyone in the cafeteria freaks, rushing and pointing out the window, at—” She couldn’t finish her sentence from the sob that escaped her from the grief she was feeling. Your expression softened as she placed a hand to her mouth to keep the noise from escaping. “Could—Could that really be her?”
The school bus that was helping block out the crowd of students was also covered in the same bubblegum pink shade you saw at the previous crime scene. Unfortunately what killed the four previous victims striked again. 
“And nobody saw anybody else at the crime scene—a man, woman, anything unusual?” You asked her, hoping she might give you some kind of lead into figuring out what might be to blame for this. The girl responded by shaking her head and shrugging her shoulders. Your next question you approached in a softer tone. “Your friend, was she possibly depressed?” 
“Depressed?” She repeated your question, not sure what you meant. 
“Any thought of suicide?” You explained a bit more bluntly. 
“Ew. No.” The girl responded in the most teenage way possible when her expression scrunched up at such a thought. “I mean, she was kind of bummed that dick-bag Travis broke up with her in front of the whole school.” Dean gave her a curious expression at what she meant by kinda bummed. “Like more bummed than when she got a ‘C’ on a quiz, and less bummed when her parents split up. Kinda...bummed.” 
The girl's tone of voice shifted into anger at the strange questions you were asking her. You figured you weren't going to get much else out of her from what she told you. You felt a slight nudge to your arm from Dean to get your attention. He nodded his head for you to follow him after discovering Cas was nowhere to be seen. You looked around yourself, but the angel disappeared. You excused yourself with a small smile before heading with Dean to find where your friend wandered off to. 
Cas made his way back to the Impala after scoping out the crime scene himself. It seemed whatever happened caused some sort of distress in him. You started to grow concerned when you found him with both hands on the hood, his body hunched forward and head hanging low. 
"Cas, what's wrong?" You asked the angel, your tone growing with concern. 
“I’ve seen this before.” Cas said. You and Dean exchanged a glance at one another from the sort of twist you weren’t expecting. It prompted you to ask him where, leading to a creature you would have never suspected. “In heaven.” 
"What?" You tried to hide your frustration from the mention of his siblings possibly to blame. But it didn't come much as a surprise to you. All sorts of angel activity had been sprouting up all over the country since the fall. "Are you saying an angel did this?"
“It’s no ordinary angel.” Cas mumbled. He fell silent for a moment, at the overwhelming energy around him. The angel might have been stripped of his powers that rendered him vulnerable as a human, but he could still feel the presence of his fellow brother. "Dean, Y/N. This is bad. This is very bad.”
You quickly moved the conversation elsewhere when the topic turned into something you didn't want a civilian or a cop to overhear. The three of you got into the Impala to further discuss what Cas discovered. And what this might mean for the rest of this town. 
“On the battlefields of heaven, there was a special class of angels, the rit zien. It's enochian for 'hands of mercy.'" Cas explained to you and Dean about the history of his fellow siblings. The one who were to blame for these murders. "They function like medics. They tended to the wounded. They healed those who could be healed, but for the mortally wounded, those who were past saving, the rit zien's job was to put them down."
“But the granulated bodies?” Dean asked. 
“This was their special ability.” Cas went on to tell you more. “They had this way of smiting that was so quick and so total that it rendered death virtually painless.” 
“Yeah, but these aren't wounded angels that they’re vaporizing,” You noted the key difference between the angels’ victims and who they were trained to take down. “they’re pepole.” 
“Right. I don’t know. The rit zien home in one pain, like it’s a beacon to them. So, when this angel fell to earth, he heard the victims’ cries, their anguish,” Cas started to piece together the reason why all these people were targeted. Pain was pain to this angel. They weren’t able to tell the difference. “Same as he’d hear an angel’s in heaven. He’s continuing his heavenly work down here. One suffering human at a time.” 
“Yeah, but this last victim was not suffering.” You said. The highs and lows of being a hormonal teenager with their fluctuating emotions was something you and Dean were no stranger to. Both of you had been the victim’s age what felt like many years ago. You knew there was no correlation to the depressed and suicidal victims he killed before. “She was just a normal, moody kid.” 
“But he just got here. The ebb and flow of human emotion—guys, I’ve been on earth for a few years, and I’ve only begun to grasp it.” Cas said. He put things into perspective at what this might mean. You slowly began to realize that everyone in this town was at risk. “To him, pain is pain.” 
“So everybody’s fair game?” Dean took a wild guess at what the angel was hinting at, Cas nodded his head. The older Winchester let out a scoff as he rolled his eyes from the furthered complications about this case. "All right, well, we got to stop him."
“You and Y/N have to stop him.” Cas corrected the man. 
You furrowed your brow slightly from the angel's response. You leaned over in your seat to catch a glimpse of his face when he turned his head to look forward. A familiar expression you'd seen before crossed his features. "You're scared."
“It’s different now, Y/N.” Cas admitted to you. “Everything feels different.” 
“You’re right.” Dean thought to himself for a few seconds before agreeing with the angel. Cas was doing fine on his own, he needed to worry about the safety of yourself with the other angel hitching around in your body. It was how things needed to be for now. “All right, Y/N and I’ll track down this kevorkian wannabe, and we’ll put him down.” 
“Okay.” The angel mumbled. 
“Stay safe, please. I don’t want to worry about you every second of the day.” You told the angel. You flashed him a farewell smile, thinking this was where your paths together ended. “Go on that date, all right? You deserve some happiness for once. Hell, live a normal life if that’s what you really want.”  
“Okay.” He repeated his response again. You gave him a funny look from how he was acting. Dean turned on the engine and looked over to the angel. A few seconds passed and Cas continued to sit in the passenger side, causing Dean to wonder if he was going to go his own way. “I need a ride.” 
You had to stifle a chuckle from the favor he was asking of you. Cas managed to find a job on his own and was adapting slowly to human life, but it seemed there were still some things he needed working on. Getting there might be a slow and steady process, yet you had a feeling Cas would be just fine on his own. 
[Next Part]
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deans-haunted-baby · 3 years
Text
Best Part of Me
*This is my fix-it of Jack’s reaction to Cas’s death in 15x19 and some of the events in 15x18 rewritten. Featuring a flashback post episode 14x10. I was so disappointed they never really let Jack feel this loss when he dreaded that deal for a whole year. The title is from a song by St Leonards. Enjoy!*
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Summery: In Hastings Minnesota, after learning from Dean of Castiel’s sacrifice to the Empty. Jack runs off to be alone somewhere in the deserted town. Breaking down and reliving the last good memory of a hunt he and Cas went on together 
Sam and Jack sauntered down the quiet roads, surveying the desolated scenery, coming to a 4-way stop. Nothing but emptiness all around them. Vacant buildings and vehicles, one smashed into a telephone pole. Stores still blinking their neon open signs in the windows. Car alarms blaring off in the distance. But no voices. Not a trace of any souls anywhere. Just nobody. Everyone was gone and the two hunters began feeling like they were starring in that Chuck Heston flick The Omega Man.
Jack could see his tall, anguished mentor was distracted, often checking his phone for calls in case Dean or Eileen or maybe Cas… Desperately searching inside the unoccupied cafes and stores in case they missed someone. He’d been beating himself up all night for not being able to save the AU world survivors. And it was driving him crazy not hearing from his brother for the past 12 hours. 
“We should’ve heard from them by now.” Sam blurted; quickening his pace towards a truck. Peeking inside. “Come on Dean, where are you?”
“You think they’re alright?” Jack asked uncertain.
“I don’t know. But you were the last person to talk to Cas.” Sam approached the boy getting restless. “What; did he say anything to you before you guys got cut off?”
Immediately Jack stopped; swallowing hard as he lowered his eyes to the pavement. “No…not really.”
The truth was Jack couldn’t get over this weird twinge he felt in his chest; an ache that refused go away. Like a piece of him had been severed and now he was nursing the phantom pain. The Nephilim boy had it ever since the last time he spoke to his father on his phone…before they were abruptly interrupted by static. Last night the group had split. Dean and Castiel went to confront Billie at the bunker while Jack stayed behind with Sam at the hideaway to protect the remaining people that hadn’t been erased. Next thing he knows survivors are disappearing in front of him, people he knew. Friends and fellow hunters. And then his phone set to vibrate; buzzes irritably in his jacket pocket to which he’d fished it out.
________________________________________
Several hours earlier
 “Jack!” the angel’s gruff voice was urgent. But relieved when his son had answered. “Oh, thank heavens.”
“Cas?” the young boy chirps; raking his fingers through his hair. Still not over the shock of seeing all their people vanish and exchanging disturbed looks with Sam. “Cas are you and Dean okay? Did Billie?”
“No, we’re fine,” he replies back; tone switching from critical to sudden despair. “What about you and Sam, the survivors?”
Jack’s face fell on the verge of tears; pacing away from the tall hunter and leaning against the wall.
“They’re gone.” He chokes out. “All of them… Cas…Sam and I tried…we tried… It happened so fast… We just couldn’t save anyone.”
The Nephilim boy heard a heavy sign on the other end then Castiel says, “It wasn’t your fault Jack. None of this is your fault, alright.”
“No, I could’ve done something! If-if I still had my powers, I could’ve protected all of us!”
“Jack, no. Don’t do that to yourself. There was nothing you could’ve done and you did all you could do, okay.” The angel encourages firmly though soft. Giving Jack a chance to calm down before he adds. “Listen…there’s something I…need to tell you…in case anything happens.”
Jack’s heart rose in his throat. “What do mean in case something happens to you?” he demands; voice rising. “Cas what’s wrong?”
“Nothing…yet.”
“What does that mean?”
“You remember what we talked about?” There’s something in Castiel’s question that begins to worry the young Nephilim. “The night we were hunting in Albuquerque?”
Jack let out a sharp intake of breath. “Yes but…what does that have to do with right now?”
The angel hesitates briefly and resumes a response; spontaneously changing the subject.
“I’m so proud of you Jack. I’m proud of the person you are and who you’re becoming,” Castiel’s deep baritone was gentle as it always was whenever he spoke to his son. Never above a decimal than he had to; reserving his emotions. Yet the sadness was unmistakable. “The day that I met you and your mother…changed my life forever. When you chose me…I knew…I knew the moment when I first connected with you through Kelly…felt your love…that I wanted to be your father. And I never felt more happiness in all my eons than I did raising you.”
“Cas why’re saying this?” Jack stuttered; his eyes glistening. He was so confused over the angel’s choice of phrases. “Don’t…”
“Jack I…I need you to do something for me…alright?”
Castiel’s request was blunt yet sudden, jerking the young Nephilim out of his afflicted stupor. “What is it?”
“I want you to look after Sam and Dean for me,” He says melancholically. “Can you do that?”
“Why? What about you?” Jack gasps; his whole-body trembling; going cold. Sinking into a corner holding his knees. Yet he tries to maintain his anxiety during the situation. “Cas, you’re scaring me.”
“I know this is going to be difficult for you to understand but…I want you to be strong, Jack. Stronger than you’ve ever been… To never give up on yourself no matter what. Because I know you will do amazing things one day. I believe in that. I’ve only ever seen good in you.”
“Cas…”
The angel pauses, and with another sigh he reveals, “I love you, son. I love you more than anything in the whole world… You’re the best part of me, Jack… I’m happy because of you; for the time we got together. And I just wanted you to know that…”
Jack could hardly speak his throat clogged. Tears now rolling down his cheeks. He wanted to return those words so badly, his chest swelling like something crushed him from the inside. Finally untangling the muscles in his neck, he pleads.
“Cas…Dad, wait I-” just as the Nephilim boy is about confess the line goes dead mid-sentence followed with an indescribable pain hitting him in the heart; causing Jack to drop his cell in defeat. Muttering the words to himself. “…I love you too.”
________________________________________
Present time
Not long after the two hunters had given up their search for signs of life, did they hear a familiar engine of a car. And a black 67’ impala wheeled around the corner of the street; parking beside two large plants in front of a blue and white store. Dean, he was alive. Sam and Jack wanted to feel elated at that moment…until they saw him exit the vehicle. Alone. And the Nephilim boy’s chest pains increased. Why wasn’t Castiel with him? Jack was too afraid to even ask in case he got an answer he didn’t want. So instead, the three guys traded bleak looks in the middle of the road; minding the fragments of what was once a functioning civilization.  
“Everyone’s gone,” Sam says to Dean; barely leveling his shock. Looking around with that false hope someone else might pop up. Then he glances back at his older brother who’s avoiding his gaze. “You see anybody on the way here?”
“No.” the elder Winchester replies huskily. His expression tormented. Again, Jack is afraid of reading him too closely.
Sam fidgeted on the spot; squints his eyes and imparts, “I couldn’t save anybody.” A hint of bitterness enflames his voice at the thought of that reaper. “Billie.”
“It wasn’t Billie. It was Chuck.” Dean discloses.
“What?”
Right then Jack couldn’t keep quiet anymore. He needed to know the truth; impulsively jumping into the conversation.
“Where’s Cas?” His voice was harsh.
The taller Winchester peered over his shoulder at the Nephilim boy but Dean couldn’t even give him direct eye-contact. Visibly shaken. Jack had detected redness within the whites of his puffy eyes. He was so anguished about something that it made the other two hunters nervous. Finally, its Sam’s turn to inquire about the angel’s whereabouts.
“Dean, where is he?”
The elder Winchester was apprehensive; staring off vacantly. Hanging his head and licking his lips trying to conjure up the best explanation he could which might lessen the blow. But Jack was impatient; arms at his sides. Heart pounding with fear. He doesn’t want excuses he just wants a straight answer from his other mentor about his dad. And he was going to get it whether he liked it or not.
“He saved me. Billie was coming after us and…Cas fought her off until we found someplace safe,” asserts Dean and he looks over at Jack who’s getting paler listening to the story. “While you and Cas were…speaking on the phone, he summoned the Empty. It took her. And it took him…” Jack’s heart instantly sank to his stomach. No, this couldn’t be true. No. The Nephilim boy backpedaled, shaking his head in disbelief. Noticing the tears in the hardened hunter’s eyes. “I’m so sorry Jack… Cas is gone.”
Sam’s grief had swallowed him up whole; touching his face with both hands. Struggling to keep it together. But Jack was the opposite. Standing there wearing a hollow smile; releasing a counterfeit laugh.
“No, that’s not true,” argues the Nephilim. “I just talked to him last night. He was okay.”
Sam attempted to console the boy; quickly wiping at his wet face. “Jack.”
“Cas’s fine you’ll see. He’s coming back. He has to come back. I didn’t get to tell him I loved him too.”
But Dean hardly in the mood for sentiments wouldn’t play along. “Jack, he-he’s not… Cas isn’t coming back. I’m sorry.” As Sam tries to reach his hand out to touch the young Nephilim’s shoulder, he receives a heated defensive glare.
Nobody touches him there except for Castiel. NO ONE.
“NO!” Jack barks jerking his body away from the taller hunter’s grasp; face beet red. Even though he already knew. Felt the truth in his heart all along the second that line went dead; the boy had been reluctant to accept it. He was too overwhelmed with denial. “I said Cas’s is coming back! HE’S COMING BACK!”
“Jack, wait!”
Quickly the Nephilim storms off in a random direction of the street; ignoring the Winchesters’ shouts behind him. It didn’t matter where he was going, he just needed to get away from them. Away from the sunlight. From the noise. Away from everything else still standing. Into nothingness. Somewhere that didn’t feel so loud or enclosed. Putting a palm to his head, Jack starts to feel dizzy and an urge to vomit. His vision blurred and his legs began to wobble each step he took. Nothing felt real anymore. It was terrifying.
He could hardly breathe as if something were suffocating him.
Over and over, Jack’s mind is racing in between panicked breaths. “Cas? Cas, where are you?” Reaching his hand out in front of him like a blind person; aimlessly searching for that invisible tether that bound him to the trench-coated angel. Receiving nothing but a light breeze against his skin. “Dad, please, tell me where you are?”
At last, the Nephilim boy stumbles on an old dessert parlor. Sammy’s Highway Café. Despondently gawking at the stupid giant pink milkshake on top of the sign. Walking inside not caring whether he was trespassing or not. The lights were off but Jack could see traces that this place was thriving not too long ago. It smelt of stale food and drink; evident of half eaten platefuls of burgers with fries and empty glasses sitting on top of some of the booth tables. Along the counter was a partially bitten donut beside a cold mug of coffee. A receipt with some money next to the till. And draped on one of the stools, it seemed as though someone had left their beige jacket which resembled so much like the angel’s trench.
Fragments and memories…of live people. Before Chuck took them…just like Castiel. His father.
Stepping towards a jukebox tilting his head, Jack’s blue eyes meet a half-full glass of milkshake sitting on the table close by. Pink, like the one on the sign outside. It disgusted him. A serge of hatred suddenly overflowed his body; knocking it onto the floor and smashing into pieces on impact. Unable to avoid the dibble of pink goo getting on his jeans only enraged the Nephilim more. Resulting in a fit of fury; swiping everything off the counter. Kicking at stray contents clinging to his shoes. His throat clogged up as the anger gave way to uncontrollable sobs. He wanted the pain to stop, but no matter how many things he destroyed, the hurt wouldn’t leave him.
“Cas you liar! YOU LIAR!” he howled; covering his tearful face with one hand collapsing into a corner. Crying. “You said you’d still be with me!”
For over an hour Jack sat like this; breaking down into his palms over his knees. Shedding more tears than he ever thought possible. Practically wearing his eyes out. It was his fault. He should’ve said it back, why didn’t he say it back? Why could he never tell the angel how much he’d meant to him when it counted? Jack wanted the tears to stop the but every time he tapped into an arbitrary memory of Castiel’s face smiling back at him or giving him that infamous sage advice. Heard that soft raspy voice saying his name. The pain worsened causing Jack to cry harder and longer.
All of a sudden, a sharp jab interrupted his grief. Jack was just about to grab the thing whatever it was and toss it until he realized what it was. Digging inside the sleeve of his white jacket, the Nephilim pulls out a single silver angel blade. Jack had completely forgot he’d been carrying it around with him since yesterday. No much longer than that, he carried it all the time in his clothes for a year now as it was very special to him. Wiping at his eyes, Jack clutches the blade and is instantly transported back into a memory of when he’d first received the weapon.
________________________________________
One Year Earlier
Castiel and Jack were in the outskirts of Albuquerque hunting a couple rugarus in the process of kidnapping a family in a warehouse. Around this time the young Nephilim was on probation for using his powers in the fight against AU Michael’s monsters. Ending with the unholy archangel prince trapped inside Dean’s mind. The reason for the restrictions was because of the resurrection spell keeping Jack alive. Every time he used power, he’d burn off part of his soul; something Castiel and the Winchesters did everything possible to prevent. And the best distraction for boy was usually going on some Team Free Will 2.0 hunts.
“Jack, NOW!” the angel shouts, wrestling with the second monster after his son successfully torches the first.
“I got it!” the Nephilim calls back, aiming the flamethrower nozzle ready to blast the creature. He’d remembered Sam and Dean’s specific instructions that the only way to kill a rugaru was to burn them. And he would’ve if he hadn’t frozen on the spot; Castiel would’ve been fried otherwise. There was no way, he couldn’t risk it. “I-I can’t! I can’t get him!”
“Jack, what are you doing?!”
“I don’t want to burn you!”
Immediately the angel groans grumpily. “It’s not holy fire!”
Jack wasn’t a gambler. “Yah but-
“Jack!”
Running out of time, the frantic young hunter goes over another strategy in his mind. He wasn’t willing to singe his dad to stop a monster. And that’s when it hit him. Reckless though it just might work.
“Wait, Cas let him go!” he clamors.
“What?!” Castiel was mystified at how crazy that plan was.
“Just let him go, trust me!”
Taking on too much faith the angel puts his trust in his son anyway and releases the rugaru; dodging out of range. As expected, it instantly launches at the nonchalant Jack who’s armed and ready with the flamethrower; projecting a lethal jet fuel of fire. The Nephilim then covers his ears as the creature releases high pitched throat screeches; its entire body engulfed until the thing’s charcoal hide falls lifeless to the ground. Breathing a sign of relief, Jack stares at the dead monster; spacing out. Brought back to reality when he hears the angel grumbling and rushes to his aid.
“Are you okay?” he asks his dad breathily; helping him to his feet.
“Yah, I’m fine.” Castiel belches; still sore from the fight. As an angel he was much stronger than a human, though it still hurt getting punched in the ribs. And the monsters he tangled with were far from weaklings. “So that was your plan? Just let him go, huh?”
Jack shrugged smirking. “It worked didn’t it?”
“Yes, it did.” The reluctant blue-eyed angel agrees dryly; giving his son an affectionate shoulder pat. “Come on, we’re not finished yet.”
“What do we have to do now?”
“Tend to the civilians.”
After releasing the captive family, Castiel and Jack resumed the dreary task of getting rid of the rotten smelling corpses and packing their things into the aquamarine pickup truck. The night air was hot accompanied with the usual sounds of owls and crickets chirping. Jack’s busily loads the flamethrower into the back compartment, unaware his father is taking a moment to gaze at him. Expressionless though underneath that reserved exterior is admiration. Despite using none of his powers, the boy had handled himself just as he’d done the other several times they’d hunted together.
Castiel couldn’t help feeling impressed with Jack; overwhelmed with a sense of pride. He’d come a long way in his training in such a short time; picking up skills faster than the angel had seen any human. But Jack wasn’t just getting better at the combat or the weaponry. His mind functioned more acutely than any other hunter in the field. And he wasn’t even three years old yet. Still there was something about tonight’s hunt that bothered Castiel. His son had nearly given into his own fear. Fear of losing…him; which could’ve costed them the lives of the family they were saving.
“Well, we’re all packed.” Jack announces gleefully; turning to the angel.
Stonily, Castiel approached the young Nephilim.
“Good.” He says; scratching his hair. “Ah Jack…can we talk about what happened back there?”
The question made the boy frown, unwinding his jaw. “Oh…right… Yah, I-I’m really sorry, Cas. I didn’t mean to-” He stopped himself.
But the angel finished his sentence. “To freeze?”
“Yah.” Jack hung his head in shame.
“Do you know why?”
Did he know why? Of course, he did! Jack was afraid. Afraid of hurting Castiel. No…he was scared of losing him and had been ever since that deal he’d made with the Empty. For the past month it’d been daunting on Jack the severity of his dad’s sacrifice; what it meant. Tried as he might to pretend it didn’t trouble him. Smiling, acting normal. the Nephilim secretly agonized over the angel’s fate. To the point where it either made him overprotective of Castiel or reckless during hunts. Just like tonight.
“I…just didn’t want to set you on fire too, that’s all.” Jack answers vaguely earning his dad’s titled scrutinized glare.
Being as close as they were, Castiel was pretty astute at reading his son’s body language. Knowing when he wasn’t entirely honest. “Are you sure that’s what it was…or was there something else holding you back?”
Jack swallowed, averting his gaze. And it dawns on the angel, sighing, looking heavenward. He didn’t need a verbal explanation; putting his hand on his son’s shoulder in an attempt to console him.
“Oh Jack, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize how tough this has been for you.”
“I can’t help it,” concedes the young Nephilim; his gaze shiny. “I know you said not to worry about you but…I am. All the time. And when I keep thinking about that deal you made… I get this…awful feeling in my stomach. Like I’m being torn apart…from the inside.”
Castiel’s reserved face promptly falls, listening intently as Jack confides his deepest fears. Knowing that this deal had been causing his son so much grief pained him. The angel felt like someone had just run him through with his own sword.
“Cas I…I love you. And I don’t want to lose you. Not to the Empty or to anything.”
Parting his lips and softening his eyes; slowly absorbing everything he was hearing. Castiel was touched; taking a deep breath before reassuring. “But Jack, that rugaru was barely a threat to me. And you know my deal with the Empty… I’m far from happy for it to take me away any time soon.”
“What if I don’t want it to ever take you?” Jack remonstrates; defiantly scowling.
“I’m afraid its not that simple.” Sadly, contests the angel.
“But…I don’t want to lose you. I hate even thinking about it.”
“I know…so do I.”
Together the angel and the Nephilim boy endure a tender moment, leaning against the tail end of their truck side-by-side; taking small solace in each other’s company. And quietly gazing at the stars. Then out the blue a bright twinkle catches Castiel’s eye; reminding him of something he’d forgotten. His present to Jack. They’d been so wrapped up in dealing with Michael’s shenanigans, he hadn’t even found the time to give it to him yet. Delving into one of his trench-coat sleeves, Castiel presents the dumbfounded Nephilim with a polished angel blade.
“Cas what…why are you giving me this?”
Castiel pursed his gentle smile and winked. “Call it a late Christmas present. I’ve ah, I’ve been meaning to give it to you…when I felt there was a more appropriate time.”
Jack furrowed his brows; observing the weapon. “Your angel blade?”
He humbly accedes.
“Not just any angel blade but…its the very first one I ever fought with.” Divulges the docile angel. With two fingers he carefully touches the tip, devotedly looking over Jack’s awestruck expression. “I won many battles with this blade…for millions upon millions of years. Just when I thought I’d fall…this weapon seemed to…save my life. And I started to look at it as more of a…good luck charm I guess.”
“Cas I…I don’t know if I should take this. It means too much to you.”
“Jack, I want you to have it. Sort of a celestial warrior’s birthright and with your archangel half technically being of royal lineage…and you’re my son.” The young Nephilim grinned at him somberly; working the blade in his hand. And Castiel pauses giving himself a minute to think about what he was going to say to his son next as it would be difficult. Exhaling heavily, he conveys. “But I also want you have it…as a reminder that…wherever I am…I’ll always be with you.”
At this Jack’s eyes find his dad’s; expression dismal absorbing Castiel’s every word. “Because someday Jack its true, I won’t be here and you’ll have to carry on with your life. I can’t say when it will happen…it could be months or years… Whether it’s the Empty or something else…we will be separated… And it will hurt…” The Nephilim boy’s lip quivered as he holds back oncoming tears; looking away. Pain twisting all his insides; he didn’t like this conversation. Though Jack’s ears and heart remained open to the angel; touching his chest using his index finger. “But just because I won’t physically be here anymore…doesn’t mean I’m gone, Jack. I’m right there…within you. Whenever you need me. You understand?”
“I think so.”
Without warning Castiel embraces Jack in a bone-crushing hug; chins touching shoulders. Closing their eyes. And they held each other tight; savoring every single second of that closeness.
“I love you Jack.”
And Jack whispers out of earshot. “I love you too…Dad.”
________________________________________
Present time
Just like that the memory passed. Jack was back in the café he roughed up earlier. Alone. Curled up in fetal position, clutching the precious gift his father had given him; tears still streaming down his face. Hair matted and moist; clothes soiled. And his heart as broken as that milkshake glass he’d smashed on the floor. Castiel was gone. His dad was gone… Forever… It didn’t feel real, more like a nightmare. A nightmare Jack desperately wanted to wake up from. He couldn’t even think about moving his body it hurt too much. Whenever he tried lifting his head the dizziness settled in and he sunk back into his depression.
“No, I can’t do this.” Jack thoughts bombarded; gawking the angel blade in his grip. “I can’t keep lying here feeling sorry for myself. He wouldn’t want that, not after giving his life for me. I’m supposed to be a hunter and a celestial warrior. I have to be stronger now.”
Using every muscle at his disposal, Jack forces himself up off the floor. Grabbing a stool and countertop for support. His whole body ached; weighted down like it was full of dumbbells yet he didn’t quit moving. Jack could hear Castiel’s voice in his mind, encouraging him like he’d always done on hunts and during one of their sparring sessions in the gym.
“Come on Jack, get up! Get up now!”
“Yes, I will,” the Nephilim promises himself; gnashing his teeth. Lumbering forward on his wobbly legs ignoring the agony. “I won’t let you down Cas! I swear I won’t.”
“That’s it Jack, come on! You’re almost there!”
“Okay!”
One foot in front of the other. Jack slowly repeats this method of awkward walking until all the muscles in his legs have loosened and are functioning properly. As he’s feeling more mobile the pain is subsiding. It’s not quite gone but it’s not intolerable either. In fact, the Nephilim uses it to power through the wreckage and towards the exit. Drying his eyes with the back of his palm. Before Jack realizes it, he’s already reached the door pushing it open. And on his way to search for the Winchesters. Because he’s not alone… He’ll never be alone. He has his family. And Castiel is always with him; guiding him.
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bloodsigilsandpie · 4 years
Text
You Haunt All of My What-ifs
written for suptober20
Day 5: Daydream
Dean Winchester was driving his car down another empty road at unearthly hours with his brother asleep on the passenger side. Like he's been doing for years now. He could feel the steering wheel gripped a little too tight in his hands. He could hear the engine and the tires. He could see the headlights illuminating the asphalt. His eyes never left the road, but he wasn't looking out the windshield.
His mind was wandering everywhere else. Thinking. Stuck in a daydream. In a loop of different what-ifs. All of them racing in his head.
Thoughts of what could have been. Of all the words that went unsaid. And all the things he wished he had done.
He was thinking of Cas.
Castiel. An angel of the Lord. Who fell. For humanity. For him.
And what did the poor angel get in return? Eternity. In the cold, nothing of the Empty. All alone.
After all the alcohol in the bunker was gone in under three days Dean took case after case making sure he didn't have time to think. Now, almost two weeks later, he was sitting in one place with no one to distract him. Guilt and pain and regret came over him like a flood.
He thought of the first time he lost Cas. To the Leviathans. He walked into the water and didn't come back. Dean had wished he had done something to stop Cas before the gate had opened. He had wished he'd listened to Cas when he was talking about the war in heaven instead of brushing it off. But Dean found him after that. And lost him again to the madness he saved Sam from. 
Then he thought of purgatory. How his mind twisted the whole event. Because it was easier to think he failed than to think his angel sacrificed himself to get him out. He had wished he could let Cas know that he cared for him more than he thought. That he had forgiven him for everything.
He thought of the angel blade pushed into Castiel's chest by that reaper. Not long after he was turned human. No grace, no wings. Just Cas. Dean remembered the fear that gripped him then. And the guilt of not getting there earlier. But Cas was brought back. Only to be left behind by Dean again.
His train of thought led him to when Cas was stabbed by the Lance of Michael. As he lay there dying he said the words Dean's always been afraid of. What else could he do but stand there avoiding his eyes?
And that time Cas really died. Stabbed. By Lucifer. Dean remembered standing in the heat of the raging fire that was reducing the remains of his best friend to ashes. He had lost a lot that day, but losing Cas was different. He couldn't go on. He wanted to die too.
Then Jack brought him back and Dean felt better again. Now he wishes he would have done something with the time he had then.
He thought of their fight after Rowena went to hell. How he threw all the anger towards Chuck at Cas. And how it took almost losing him for Dean to apologize. But he was still a coward. He just couldn’t say it.
Now Cas was gone. There was no changing this. No use of thinking of what he could have done. No going back. All there was left to do was drive and kill along the way. Because what's the point anymore?
"Dean," Sam's voice cut through his thoughts, barely, and said, "Pull the car over."
He only just registered the words. Still in a trance-like state, he did what his brother had told.
As the car stopped on the side of the empty road, Dean came back to reality. Very slowly. He noticed that the sun had started to come out. He turned to Sam and noticed his brother was awake and looking at him with a worried expression. Finally, he realized his face was wet with tears streaming down his cheeks.
How long was he in the car? When did he start crying? Where were they now?
His eyes fixed on his brother, he blinked a few times, slowly coming back.
"Dean..." Sam trailed off sadly. Dean blinked again and choked out, "I miss him." Sam didn't say anything, still looking with sorrow-filled eyes.
"I loved him." He managed to add, before collapsing into Sam's open arms as everything he's been pushing down inside him came tumbling out.
Sam drove the rest of the way as Dean sat quietly beside him. Slipping into a happy memory this time. One that brought a soft smile to his face. It was all that kept him going.
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