#which is objectively hilarious

[nopesjsgwhqgsx]

I just love the fact that Edwin and Charles own an Ouija board, is it enchanted? Do they use it for cases? Did they just think it would be funny?

#It’s with their board games #So I’m thinking they use it like a board game #Which is objectively hilarious #dead boy detectives #dead boy detective agency #edwin paine #charles rowland

[sky-fire-forever]

I had the realization that the reason I'm not a huge Stizzy shipper because when I really think about all the possible dynamics between Ed, Izzy, and Stede, I genuinely think Izzy and Stede would be the most functional at the end of the day

Which is fucking wild when you look at the... everything about them

#to be clear. izzy and stede are not functional #i just think theyre the most functional pairing of the possible combinations #which is objectively hilarious #stizzy #stede bonnet #izzy hands #gentlehands #steddyhands

[pulse-art]

what do you mean rancher duo are dead theyre sitting in the mesa talking about tumble towns newest buildings

#double life #double life spoilers #empires smp #team rancher #im just gonna shove tango into tumble town i think hed fit in well #he does have to answer to norman tho #which is objectively hilarious

[hydrachea]

Give me the ship opinions on kaeluc ☆

ship ask game

Kaeluc: Ship It

What made you ship it? Kaeluc is actually one of the two Genshin ships that broke containment and reached me before I even started playing, so I already had a bias (that you, my dear friend, absolutely did not help). Then I started playing and the deal was easy to seal, wow, red/blue duo that had an intense falling out and have a tense relationship to this day, plenty of in-game pandering, and they're brothers? It was a losing battle from the start.

What are your favorite things about the ship? The angst they have is delicious, especially from Kaeya's side. Everything that went down the night Crepus died, the way he knew how Diluc would react but still went through with coming clean... And how he never blamed Diluc for it and cared for his Vision after he left Mondstadt, returning it safe to him when he came back... He cares! He cares!! I also love how well they know each other despite everything, and I love the thought of them possibly eventually making up. They have a whole arc and we're only in the middle of it, Hoyo keeps us so well-fed.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? The whole "brothers vs sworn brothers" debate is pointless, both are true in the first place considering they are sworn brothers but were also raised together with Kaeya being adopted by Crepus, so pick whichever you like best and leave it at that. It really doesn't matter, just enjoy yourselves.

#ask #answer #feroluce #aka the person who got me into this ship before i even installed the game #i know what you did and so do you #not that it was hard i wasn't lying about the bias #what can i say i love incest and conflict #now for the fun fact: kaeluc did reach me long before either of us started playing #the discourse however somehow never reached me #so i only learned they were brothers when fero got into the game #which is objectively hilarious #i just didn't know i thought they were just another popular ship #genshin #kaeluc

[katya-goncharov]

my christmas started with blatant ableism & homophobia from my grandma, but ended with the two of us having a discussion over whether or not cliff richard is asexual, so i guess that was an improvement...

#apparently my probably-autistic 11 year old cousin decided to infodump to my grandma about lgbt terminology so she now knows way more about #it than she ever wanted to #which is objectively hilarious

[zeawesomebirdie]

Hey @girlcalledwhatsername (i dont think youll get the notif from this tag so hopefully you see it anyway), i currently cant access messages from main

This is what my activity tab looks like on mobile, compared to my writing tumblr @ftm-qui-gon-jinn

Messaging isnt even an option for some reason

I dont mean to make a Whole Post to reply, i just cant @ people and im not showing up in replies so this is like. The only option lol

But im okay! I think this is the funniest thing thats ever happened to my tumblr tbch, of all the ridiculous things to happen it had to be this!

#for the record if im shadowbanned #its 100% bc i made a post explaining the whole pr@ship/@nti thing #which is objectively hilarious #but also unfortunate #because i tagged a bunch of my favourite pr@ship tumblrs and they didnt even see the damn post #bc i got shadowbanned literally 5 minutes after #but thanks for checking in!! #i hope you see this!!

[dreamofbecoming]

listen when i say the roomie’s cat hates me everyone is always like “ohhhh i’m sure she doesn’t hate you! she probably just isn’t comfortable with most people! maybe she thinks you’re the fun aunt who’s only for playing!” and like. i appreciate it. but i promise you this cat. Hates Me. specifically. it’s unclear why (my theory is that the anesthesia from her spaying rewired her brain, since she liked me fine before that) but she definitely actively dislikes me.

you know that slow blink thing cats do when they like someone? and how you can do it back to reciprocate? i just slow blinked at this cat and watched her eye twitch as she actively fought the impulse to blink at all.

#dw i find it very funny #if i had done smth to her to make her mad i would feel awful #but there’s just smth in her brain that looks at me and says ‘ENEMY’ for literally no reason #which is objectively hilarious #and now i’m the only human in the house until her mom gets home #so she has to lower herself to accept contact with me if she wants cuddles #and she’s furious about it i can tell #love her #personal #the adventures of katya and pyotr

[punkrock-bottom]

The truest test I can put any potential romantic partner through is forcing them to listen to the manic cackle I let out when I find something exceedingly funny. It’s a legit witches cackle. A real guffaw. A genuine chortle.

#it has absolutely and honestly ruined relationships in the past #like genuinely #I’ve had people tell me my laugh is too annoying #which is objectively hilarious #and just makes me cackle louder

[justincrystallake]

Based on my dash, my type is kinky homicidal gay men

#my autocorrect turned homicidal to Dominican #which is objectively hilarious #Any ways #as a cis woman I’m my own opp #obviously

[stil-lindigo]

mumbattan's one and only pavitr prabhakar!!

prints

#pav you ray of joy i hope you never change #spoilers// ngl it is objectively hilarious that miles just. prevented pav from experiencing any hubris #keep on trucking pav im sure the universe wont prove you wrong or anything #also im sorry it took me so long to get to him #ive been busy with hobie brainrot which has alleviated. but it did take buying the artbook and an action figure of him so #anyway im rewatching this movie again on saturday i miss these characters so much #pavitr prabhakar #spiderman #across the spiderverse #spiderverse #miles morales #stillindigo art

[vicsuragi]

pirateglossary.com is a stupid website in regards to its information on actual pirates (really bestie you could have just used wikipedia instead of pulling the idea that blackbeard was actually nonviolent out of your ass) but it also had numerous terms for mischievous little dudes and i think that’s very funny

#they also felt the need to say that when captain kidd was hanged the noose broke the first time and he had to be hanged again #which is objectively hilarious #i do respect that decision idk if that's even true i just think that's funny

[atoriv-art]

huge fan of when there's a guy and he's obnoxious

#deidara #naruto #2023 #fanart #art #love him sosososos much #smth smth love when theres a bitch whos clearly gay but has no chemistry with anyone because theyre fucking insane #itachi uchiha #tobi #obito uchiha #drew that doodle w itachi before i knew about his uh backstory. which is objectively hilarious

[ruushes]

tav time tav time their name is lux and their interests include lying, hoarding jewelry inside a hollowed-out book, and walking into traps

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #my ocs #my art #lux #i have sooo much stuff i wanna draw and so many da ideas and wips i want to work on too i need more time in the day 😭 #giving up the pretext and committing to making punk-edit-looking characters full time. it's my truth #i like the neck tat idea but im pretty sure it's a beholder which is hilarious objectively but idk if it's ic 😂 so i'll probably redesign #once i'm out of the mainlining new videogame phase #nox

[coffeebanana]

How does Adrien measure his height?

In senti-metres.

#miraculous ladybug #adrien agreste #sentiadrien #akjsbfdskjbd i was trying to spell centimetres and. i guess sentibeings are always on the brain beause i wrote sentimetres #which is objectively hilarious so now you all get to see my insanity

[necessarymeanstoanend]

what they could’ve had but instead alex wanted to be a dramatic bitch

the original meme and the drawing with a white bg

#another dumb meme for my beloveds #all twelve of you #you can clearly tell that i put much less effort into this one than i did the last one #it’s just for goofs anyway #i even took the liberty to include susan #they’re chilling in attic of the school btw #me actually posting a drawing that includes alex WHAT???? #we’re not here to talk about the fact that it looks nothing like him #it’s already been established that eddie redmayne is impossible to draw. leave me alone #nigel holding a cross implies this being an exorcism which is objectively hilarious bc if anybody needs the exorcism it’s his ass #like minds #murderous intent #like minds 2006 #nigel colbie #art #fanart #drawing #nigel colbie fanart #digital art #artist of tumblr #alex forbes #alex forbes fanart #nigel colbie x alex forbes #alex forbes x nigel colbie #forbie #meme #like minds meme #like minds fanart

[feroluce]

When Al Haitham dreams, it's in shades of sandy blonde and red, metallic gold and feather-blue. His nightmares are colored much the same.

Kaveh leisurely strolls ahead of him, shoes leaving deep treads in the soft desert sand. He keeps a careful distance, arms length, and in return Al Haitham keeps an eye on him, the other man's back dead center in his sights.

He curses the sand in his boots and the long line of footprints he steps into, already the exact shape of the soles of his shoes.

They aren't lost. Al Haitham knows where they are. They've been here before. They are still here.

Kaveh doesn't watch their feet. His head is constantly tipped back with his eyes on the stars and their constellations (of which Al Haitham only knows two, Vultur Volans and Paradisaea). He'll walk right into a cactus like that. Al Haitham yells ahead for him to watch where he's going.

Kaveh reaches up to touch the side of his head in a strange motion, but otherwise there's no acknowledgement. They press on into the dark of night.

Something squelches beneath Al Haitham's boot.

It stops him short, pulls his attention like a magnet and as much as he wants to, he can't ignore it. He doesn't want to lose any more ground. But something won't let him move on. Al Haitham watches as red seeps into the golden sand, spills beyond the border of his bootprint until he slides his foot aside.

It's an ear.

It's a human ear, and there's a heavy earring attached, metallic gold, gems red and green, a familiar shape, a familiar shade-

Al Haitham opens his mouth to yell. Chokes. Swallows the lump in his throat as he quickly restarts his pace. Tries again.

"Hey!"

Another squelch under a hurried footstep. He doesn't stop to look. Al Haitham is pretty sure he knows what it is.

"Kaveh, hey!"

The path becomes littered, little slices and small pieces, fingertips and knuckles, Kaveh's arms once held casually behind his back now strewn along the sands. Every time Al Haitham extends his hand to him, reality warps and bends like the twisted image in a broken mirror, lines mismatched and edges jagged. Kaveh flits just beyond his grasp, fleeting fae, no longer able to hear him or to reach out to him. Al Haitham can only grit his teeth and follow.

His right foot marches forward. His left follows. His right again. His left suddenly doesn't follow, and Al Haitham is thrown off balance and pitches forward, swinging his arms outward to land on his palms and keep his face off the ground, because he's been in the desert enough times to know what a foot suddenly being stuck can mean.

Quicksand.

Al Haitham curses and swears in just about every language he knows as he tries to spread his weight as evenly as possible, stay afloat at the top of it because if he sinks, he knows he'll be done for, and shit, Kaveh.

His neck cranes uncomfortably in his search, Kaveh had only been a few feet in front of him, he can't be sunk much further, and he's in the desert much more often than Al Haitham anyway, he'll be familiar with what to do-

Kaveh stands in front of him, empty sleeves fluttering loose. Still just out of his grasp, still watching the stars. The quicksand is already up to his calves.

"Say, Al Haitham..." It's the first he's spoken this whole time. His voice resonates somewhere deeply nostalgic in Al Haitham's chest, produces a ripple that momentarily stuns his heart.

Kaveh is sinking.

Al Haitham stretches out on his belly as far as he's able, it's quickly up to his knees, Kaveh isn't even trying to redistribute his weight or pull himself out, it's at his thighs, Al Haitham sucks in a breath and yells for him, his hips, yells louder, his waist, Al Haitham's trembling fingertips can almost reach, his chest, Kaveh drops level with him, quicksand about his neck like a noose.

Kaveh's head tips back, back, impossibly far back, until it hangs, angle awkward, and he's looking right past Al Haitham with his tired smile and gouged, blinded sockets full of starlight.

"Do you believe in karma?"

The quicksand swallows him entirely and Al Haitham dives, shoves his arms deep and pushes off with the one foot he'd had left on safe ground, because he can't, he can't, it's not the same without Kaveh, not anymore, he needs him, no one else keeps him sharp, no one else challenges him like Kaveh, if he can just grab him, if he can just pull him back up-

Al Haitham thrashes, against the sands, against gravity, against the hardwood of his bedroom floor. Clumsily scrubs the back of his hand across his face to rub the grit of quicksand and sleep out of his eyes.

Sometimes he thinks he preferred it when the Akasha was still harvesting his dreams.

He pops his head out from under his weighted blanket and lays where he'd fallen out of bed for a moment, blinking blearily against the lamplight shining from his desk in the corner. Deep breaths. His consciousness shifts along the blurred line of nightmare and reality, crosses over the slow transition into wakeful awareness.

He's home, Kaveh is home. It's dark out. The house is dead silent.

He's just going to go check, he tells himself as he peels himself out of his sweat-soaked shirt and roots around for a replacement. He's already losing memories of his nightmare, the details spilling away from him like wet ink, but he knows he needs to see Kaveh. It'll feel better to do something, anything, than try to go straight back to sleep.

He's quiet when he slips out of his bedroom door, because they both keep late hours but their bedrooms are right next to each other, and Al Haitham will never hear the end of it if he wakes his roommate up.

Lights off, door shut. Nothing conclusive. He moves out to the main room.

Kaveh sits on one of those ridiculous sofas he'd ordered three of for some reason, back to him as he tucks a lock of hair behind his ear. A mostly-empty wine bottle stands tall on the table, next to the cobbled-together remains of an architectural model that's been picked and fussed over for four days straight now.

"Kaveh? What are you doing?"

This earns him an exaggerated startle, but Kaveh doesn't turn to look at him, preoccupied with whatever new sketch or blueprint he probably has in his hands. "Ohhh, nothing," he slurs cheerfully. "Just working. Just thinking."

Kaveh has always been the world's chattiest drinker. Al Haitham waits for the rest of it.

"Say, I think...I think I asked you this years ago, back then, but you never answered me." Al Haitham feels all the blood drain from his face in ominous familiarity, drip cold down the length of his spine. Kaveh sinks into the couch until he can tip his head over the back of it, looking up at him with a tired smile and exhausted eyes.

"Do you believe in karma?"

#genshin impact #haikaveh #al haitham #kaveh #kavehtham #these two have had me chewing concrete lately god #3.6 got me frothing at the mouth #something about al haitham trying to save kaveh from himself and his own guilt complex and self-sabotage wheeee my heart #and he's normally so self-assured but he fucked it up spectacularly the first go around- good job baby- #and now it's years later he's trying again but it's something he's barely chipping away at not to mention Kaveh not wanting his help lol #and so some of Al Haitham's nightmare is objective fact and some of it is his own subjective pov #Kaveh loses his arms and ears bc al haitham is frustrated that he won't hear him out or reach out for help #and he keeps his eyes up and eventually blinds himself bc al haitham thinks of him as too idealistic and blind to reality #and kaveh does all this to himself bc when you ask al haitham about his troubles he talks about people who cause trouble for themselves #kaveh pondering the concept of karma in relation to his bad luck and misery and guilt about his father's death in the quicksand *fans self* #al haitham starting to get just a little nervous that maybe he really he can't do anything about this #or that one day it'll be too little late ough. love when I can whump character by whumping the other. #two for one special buy one get one two birds stoned at once type of deal #i have a Vision about them and their stupid dumbass relationship dynamic that I need to yell about later but for now: this #written while listening to A Sadness Runs Through Him by The Hoosiers which hilariously was introduced to me as a pla Emmet song #'but here was a man mourning tomorrow; he tried to finally drown in his sorrow' #'oh he could not break surface tension; he looked in the wrong place for redemption' #'don't look at me with those eyes; I tried to unheave the ties; turn back the tide that drew him in' #'but he couldn't be saved' #'a sadness runs through him' #extremely kaveh and haikaveh song for me ough #my fics #gore #body horror #I mean it's pretty unrealistic but still just in case