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modernwizard · 7 years

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The Doctor Falls is a flaming turd of misogynoir, aka Bill deserved so much better, but she was never gonna get it

Oh look spoilers. Don't say I didn't warn you.

The latest season of DW has treated Bill shittily, both as a WOC and as a lesbian, and The Doctor Falls was just the diarrhea sauce on a crap sundae of disappointment.

If you think it's a "happy ending" that Bill, the first lesbian COC [companion of color] on Doctor Who, suffered medical violation for ten years by the Cyber conversion team and ten years of mental violation by Eyeliner Master, then ended up condemned to the equivalent of TOTAL NARRATIVE DEATH, flying off into the universe with a personalityless dead wet white chick with whom she had no substantive relationship just because the DWWC had been stalking her for a decade, go read something else.

If you feel like partaking of my rage, stay with me. Other people, I'm sure, will direct their rage, frustration, and sense of betrayal into far more eloquent and exhaustive essays than mine about how this entire season failed Bill. I'm only going to focus on two moments from the beginning of The Doctor Falls that epitomized for me just how racist, sexist, and anti-Black women the narrative has been.

Note: I'm quoting from memory here because I have better things to do than to go back and watch the show torture Bill.

Both moments of quintessential misogynoir occur early on in the episode when the Doctor is telling Bill about her Cyber conversion and its consequences.

1) The Doctor says to her something like, "You're so strong," then lists examples of Bill's mental strength, including her survival of physical and mental rape for ten years. He then adds something to the effect of her having to resist her programming.

So the Doctor blows off Bill's stated fears of both dying and of Missy [see World Enough and Time], then proceeds to get her thoroughly perforated and DEAD, tells her to wait for him, doesn't come for her, leaves her to a decade of medical torture and mind-fucks from Eyeliner Master, then has the audacity to say that she's so strong for having survived despite the fact that he failed her on multiple levels.

This is the equivalent of straight and/or cis and/or white and/or dude-type persons treating queer and/or Black women like subhuman objects for years and then saying that they're so impressed by how the queer and/or Black women handle adversity. It's the Strong Black Woman stereotype: the idea that Black women's fortitude is an individual choice of personal responsibility, rather than a trait often developed out of the necessity of surviving in an oppressive society.

2) The Doctor also says to her in this conversation, "You're a Cyberman now. You cannot get angry." Of course, Bill, having been raped and tortured for a decade, then pulled out of hell too late by the Doctor, does become angry, so her blaster fires and something burns. "Because of that," the Doctor says.

Right...so...here we have a straight cis white dude lecturing a queer woman of color. The QWOC has just spent a decade of her life being abused, raped, and tortured in ways that queer and/or Black women have been particularly vulnerable to now and throughout history. The QWOC is full of rage, pain, and sadness. The straight cis white dude tells her not to feel her entirely understandable emotions.

This is playing directly into the stereotype of the Angry Black Woman whose wrath scares white people [especially dudes] so shitless that they must prohibit it. This also plays directly into the tendency of straight people to do tone policing on queer people, claiming that, if queer people weren't so loud/flamboyant/outraged/"openly gay," they would attain their goals of equal rights more effectively.

Bill deserved so much better than all the objectification, humiliation, and cancellation she suffered, but she was doomed from the start. The story tied up her arc and identity in losing and then ultimately finding that dead wet white chick with no personality. However, there's a stronger case to be made that Bill's arc and identity may more accurately be linked to an anxiety about her identity, her parentage, and being seen for who she truly is. [I am indebted to irascible bogtrotter's thoughts on the subject.]

But the narrative didn't give a shit about that, so it deprived the character of a significant chance for true development and flourishing. Add to that all the flaming racism, sexism, and homophobia that the showrunners et al. heaped on Bill, and you can see why the way in which she was constructed as a character gave her no hope of any satisfaction or satisfactory development in-universe.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm never watching the new DW again. I'm going back to play in my Shalkaverse sandbox, where it is quite possible that Alison Cheney, the Master, and the Doctor will vworp over to an alternative timeline and extract Bill from that shitshow to help her achieve the dignity, respect, and happiness that she was never able to in her season.

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freshtomatoesddd · 3 years

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An Extra chapter i wrote for my TyZula fanfic.

The chapter I've been writing is surprisingly depressing so. So take my mind off it, as well as practice slice of life stuff, I wrote this extra chapter.

TW! MENTIONS OF VIOLENCE AND RAPE. NOTHING HAPPENS TO THE CHARACTERS, but Azula and Ty Lee talk about a book that contains such elements. They're about 14 at this time, and Ty Lee has started to realize her feelings for Azula.

FLOWERS

The Fire Nation royal garden was one mesmerizing sight to behold to anyone blessed enough to ever graze its beautiful path, let alone one star struck Ty Lee. Though it wasn’t her first time visiting the royal palace, it had been her first time seeing the garden in full. The girl had a grin on her face as she trailed across the garden, observing in detailed delight the many sorts of flowers the Fire Lady had so patiently cultivated. They came in all sort of colors, most being some shade of red and yellow, though there were a few whites and even purples scattered about. The scent of the flowers took Ty lee by surprise, most bearing a fragrant and pleasant smell she seldom came across her own home, intoxicating the brunette with their soft yet pleasurable scent.

“As you can see, I have the best garden,” Azula stated, loud and proud as she usually was.

Ty Lee’s attention laid still on the bunch in front of her, scarlet red petals peeking at her, it’s thorny stems nearly drawing the girl to at least poke it. A bit stupid if spoken out loud, however, Ty Lee always had an urge to at least press her fingers against such thorns. Certainly not enough to draw blood, but only out of curiosity, to see what would happen, how it would feel.

“Yeah, congrats,” Mai said, Ty Lee hearing her footsteps as she walked around the garden.

“Where did the Fire Lady find all these flowers?” She asked.

“From all corners of the Fire Nation, some as far as Ember Island,” Azula said.

Ty Lee turned around, her gaze met Mai, the girl’s fingers fiddling with the leaves of a bush.

“Huh, that’s pretty cool,” Mai said.

Azula scoffed as she crossed her arms. She raised one brow and pursed her lips ever so slightly, annoyance covering her face as she spoke. Her golden pupils stared at Mai with such intensity, as if they were to pierce through Mai’s body. Even in the midst of what seemed to be a rather casual conversation, Azula looked so serious. Ty Lee wondered what it would be like to have such a ferocious stare placed on her.

“I don’t see how. Anyway, let’s go play hide and seek,” she said.

Mai groaned. “Please, not that, you always make us hide and chase after us like some hungry tiger monkey.”

“Well, I wouldn’t be chasing after you if you’re hiding spots weren’t so easy to find, obviously,” Azula said.

Ty Lee looked off to the side, wondering how nice it would be for Azula to chase after her, how frustrated the princess would get if she couldn’t reach her. Surely, Ty Lee thought, the look on her face would be priceless, cute even.

“Yeah, Mai, you should be more creative with your hiding spots,” the brunette jumped in.

Mai turned to her. “Don’t tell me you’re siding with her.”

Ty Lee waved her arm. “Nah, it’s not that. I’m just saying, you know, if you don’t wanna be chased around then you should probably look for hard to find places.”

“Well too bad I don’t know any hard to find places.”

“Yeah that’s what I mean, you should try and find them, you know?” Ty Lee said.

“You’re precisely correct, Ty Lee,” Azula said.

The brunette turned to the princess. “Wait, really?”

Azula quirked up a brow. “That’s what I just said.”

Ty Lee’s eyes widened for a split second. She quickly looked away, knowing that she might risk burning up at the sight of Azula, after she had agreed with her as well. Ty Lee pursed her lips, knowing full well how ridiculous her feelings were. She wasn’t supposed to feel this way, not for any girl, and most definitely not Azula. She wondered why she had even developed such feelings for the young princess, only to be met with more than a dozen answers. From her intellect, to the way she spoke, her determination and single-minded drive, Ty Lee admired all of it and more. Ty Lee sighed, wishing the boys around her were as cool, as driven. Perhaps then, she’d be able to feel about them the same way she did Azula.

Ty Lee’s grey eyes pranced around the garden as Mai and Azula argued over the intricacies of hide and seek, the brunette eventually spotting the crown prince walking beside the Fire Lady. As per usual, they were engrossed in conversation, Zuko stuck close to his beloved mother. Ty Lee didn’t blame the boy, for the Fire Lady had a certain poise and charm to her. From her warm gaze, her inviting smile, down to the way she carried herself, Ty Lee wondered how one person could be so graceful.

“Hey, isn’t that Zuko?” Ty Lee asked, a smirk growing on her face.

Mai whipped around, her eyes locking onto the boy at once. She grew red as an apple, Ty Lee and Azula giggled at the sight, the former struggling to keep laughing once she heard the princess’s laughter. Clearly, Ty Lee was no better than Mai.

She jostled her friend, though stammered as the brunette tried to speak. “Hey—hey, why don’t you make a move?”

Mai frowned. However, Azula stepped in and added fuel to the fire.

“Ty Lee’s right, Mai. You should advance while you can, before Zuzu gets matched off in an arranged marriage.”

Ty Lee looked away for another brief moment, unable to handle the pace of her beating heart. It was fast and rapid, pounding against her chest as if to break free. Ty Lee took in a small breath, turning back to her friends as she repressed her desire to run away and scream.

“You don’t know that,” Mai said, crossing her arms.

“Well, he is the crown prince, after all. Once he gets older, it would make sense to marry him off.”

Mai turned to Azula. “Well, does that mean you’re going to get married too?”

Azula smiled, laughter slipping past her lips. “Don’t be stupid, Mai, I don’t need to get married.”

“How do you know that?” Mai asked, her face still flushed red.

Azula laughed once more, finger pointed towards the flustered girl. “Oh please, the only reason for me to get married is to create alliances. But since the Fire Nation is about to dominate the entire world, then what sort of alliances would we need to make?”

“But Zuko,” Azula’s golden pupils looked to the side, paying close attention to her brother as she placed a finger on her chin, “He’s the crown prince and needs to make heirs. You need to get married to do that, at least, for the heirs to be legitimate.”

“Well, duh you need to get married to have kids” Mai said.

The princess chuckled. “You don’t need to get married to have children.”

Ty Lee quirked up a brow. “Really? Actually, how do kids even, you know, happen? Do they like, come out of bamboo stocks? Or large peaches?”

Azula rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms, scoffing at Ty Lee’s ignorance. “Not even close.”

Ty Lee pursed her lips, chest aching at Azula’s words. Once again, she knew it was ridiculous, stupid even for her to get hurt over such trivial insults. It was ordinary for the princess to act as such, and Ty Lee would normally brush off her remarks as nothing to be given a second thought. However, over the course of the past few days, she’s had little else to think about other than Azula. Ty Lee sighed, looking off to the flowers at her side. Perhaps, her feelings would fade away in time, nothing more than another one of her plentiful crushes. But even then, she wondered if she’ll ever feel such intensity for another person in her lifetime.

“Don’t be so upset,” Azula’s word cut through Ty Lee’s thoughts.

“I’ll make you two a deal. If you can successfully hide from me for fifteen minutes, I’ll tell you where children come from,” she said.

“Really?” Mai asked, her words laced in doubt.

Azula nodded, hand placed on her chest. “Of course, a princess always sticks to her promises.”

“Right…Anyway, let’s just get it over with.”

The young princess promptly turned around and covered her eyes. Quickly, she counted down from ten, giving Ty Lee and Mai little to no time to find and secure their hiding spots. Ty Lee immediately began running towards where Azula was facing, unconcerned to where her friend chose to hid herself. Thankfully, the princess hadn’t specified where they were allowed to hide, and so Ty Lee ran towards the garden’s walk way.

She ran past red pillars which held up its tiled roofs, her footsteps muddled by the sturdy stone under her feet, no matter how hard she sprinted. Ty Lee ran and ran, not exactly sure of where she would end up. The girl whipped her head up, thinking as her legs kept barreling her forward, nearly causing the girl to crash into a few of the walkway’s tall pillars. Much like the pillars, the wood which held up its roof too was made of strong, crimson colored wood, strings of rosy wooden patterns stretching across each pillar.

Eventually, Ty Lee ended up inside the royal palace. She ran still, running around the dizzying array of hallways, each covered in the same soft carpet, coated in the same bold colors of red and yellow, tall doors at each side of every corridor, it’s doorhandles made of intricately designed metal of lion heads. Before she knew it, Ty Lee had reached the monument which marked the academic section of the palace. Towering pillars held up a pagoda style roof which scratched the heavens, a dragon coiled around each pillar as they pointed towards a statue of Fire Lord Sozin, an inscription written under him Ty Lee couldn’t afford to stand still and read. The road forked off into three paths, Ty Lee opting to take the right most road as she figured that Azula would have a fondness for the library.

As the girl dashed down the stone path, the only thing indication that she was moving forward being the red ribbons tied unevenly around the stone fences, she witnessed a rather large pair of doors. Unlike the library, they had already been opened, no doubt swung as they flew all the way back to the other side of the maroon wall.

As the girl stepped inside, she saw a wide rectangular table at the very center of the room, scrolls, leather books and brushes littering its clear glass covering. Some were stacked on top of one another, ink splattering a few parts of the sleek wood. The table itself was fairly standard for the royal palace, made of no doubt expensive, regal wood painted with a dark finish. The chairs, however, Ty Lee took a liking to them. Not only were they tall, they were also comfortable. Surely, she figured that sitting was much better then kneeling, and wished that sitting too was granted the ‘proper’ status that kneeling did.

Of course, being the nature of the academic section of the palace, bookshelves covered both sides of the room, the wall facing Ty Lee’s front spared as it only had a painting of Fire Lord Sozin hanging on it. Gently, he swayed with the wind, Ty Lee nervous that the late Fire Lord might fall at any given moment. Next to the wise man were two tables, both of which were empty, save for a random brush and some scattered scrolls, some even unrolled to the ground as Ty Lee wondered if someone accidentally stepped on it.

As the brunette leaned back against her rather comfy chair, she wondered what sort of a person, or rather, persons were busy enough to turn the study area to such a mess. The girl placed a finger on her chin, wondering if a few generals gathered just a few hours earlier and forgot to clean up. Perhaps, in their super serious meeting, they were re-searching the best way to destroy the Earth Kingdom, or something along those lines. However, Ty Lee noted that such an idea wouldn’t exactly make sense, as such issues would be addressed in war meetings, not study areas. Another thing which didn’t add up was the mess. If generals or anyone that wasn’t apart of the royal family left the place in such untidy disorder, Ty Lee was sure that the Fire Lord would banish them as soon as he found out. And seeing as the doors were wide open, she figured that he already knew.

Ty Lee snapped her fingers as she was reminded of the gaping doors. “Darn, I forgot to close them.”

Jumping off her chair, she approached the large doors. However, Ty Lee was not intimidated by their size, for she placed her palm in the wood and pushed hard. Unfortunately for the girl, she lacked the physical strength required to close one door without using both hands, along with her body. One door closed, another still open. Ty Lee took in a breath, sighing as she walked towards the other. With much the same bone aching struggle, she finally closed both, sliding to the ground in exhaustion. Ty Lee leaned against them, sighing once more as she wondered why the royal palace needed to have such unnecessarily heavy gates acting as the entrance to almost every room.

“So annoying,” Ty Lee huffed.

Somehow, she got on her feet and sauntered back to the same chair, sitting on it as she leaned back.

“Ah man, this seat feels so nice, I should probably ask mom to buy us these.”

Ty Lee thought for a moment, of her mother, and if she’d even be able to talk to her that day and the next. Realistically, she knew it to be untrue, for her mother and father were busy people. They had fellow important people to meet and mingle with, leaving her with only her servants and sisters at home. Ty Lee looked off to her side, eyeing the tall stack of books beside her, wondering what sort of a madman would read six books in one sitting. And judging by the amount of paper scattered about the table, how many brushes and ink trays were stacked on top of one another, the person was supposedly studying them as well.

She leaned forward, grabbing the top most book from the pile. “Well, if I’m gonna be stuck here I might as well do something.”

Ty Lee opened the book and flipped to the first page. In it, there was a brief description of a nameless kingdom, seemingly under political turmoil from within, its citizens suffering as a result. So far, it was a typical ‘intellectual’ book Ty Lee would see scholars argue about. She flipped to the next page, introduction of the supposed protagonist. He had no name, other than his given title as king. The man looked to unite his kingdom, to reach his country’s true greatness, whatever that meant.

As the brunette quickly grew invested in the story, she realized that though the king had good intentions, he was not a good man. He would attack his enemies without a second thought, killing his prisoners and pillage any village that laid between him and whatever army he was fighting. He would make a point to deliver swift devastation to any one population or person which got in the way of ‘achieving greatness’, by any means necessary. To say the least, the man was a monster, for he didn’t even feel pity when beating his pregnant wife when she pleaded for him to end his bloody crusade. She knew she wasn’t supposed to be reading such horrid tales, but she couldn’t look away, riveted by the story’s graphic accounts and deep plot.

So invested was Ty Lee to the plot that she had neglected to use her ears. Entrenched in the story, Ty Lee failed to recognize the sound of wood dragging open. It was only until a hand landed on her shoulder did she realize she’d been caught, Azula staring at her with the same fierce glare she gave Mai. Ty Lee froze, unsure of what to do or say. She had yet to recover from the gruesome tale, and she was now facing the rather annoyed looking princess. She gulped, feeling to be under the microscope that was Azula’s stare. Nowhere near as exciting as she thought, rather, it was terrifying to be scrutinized by means of a single look. Her hands shivered as a chill traveled up her spine, Ty Lee pursing her lips as she did little else than look at Azula.

“What are you doing here?” the princess asked in a low voice.

Ty Lee stammered as she struggled to for words, dropping the book entirely.

“Oh, me? I was…um, uh, I was uh—reading, and stuff.”

Azula quirked up a brow. Slowly, her hand approached Ty Lee’s direction, the girl wincing as she questioned what Azula would do. However, the princess grabbed the book and dusted it off, neatly stacking it on its original pile.

“You should refrain from mishandling my books,” she said in a stern voice.

The brunette’s eyes widened. “Wait, that was your book?”

Azula scoffed. “I just said that.”

Ty Lee looked around. “Does that mean that all of these books belong to you?”

Azula nodded. “Indeed.”

“So, like, all of this stuff belongs to you too? The books, the scrolls, the brushes and the ink too?” Ty Lee motioned her hands to the objects listed, disbelief clear in her eyes.

Azula shrugged. “What of it? In fact, why do you care of what I do in my spare time?”

Ty Lee gulped. “Ah, you’re right, sorry about that. But I mean, it’s pretty cool that you study super hard in your spare time. Like, I can barely do my homework right.”

The princess chuckled, Ty Lee’s heart pounding fierce against her chest once more. Unlike last time, she could not look away, it would be rude. So instead, the brunette smiled along, repressing her urge to flee form the immediate vicinity and do breathing exercises.

“Hilarious as always, Ty Lee. This is not for school, I’m studying things far more advanced than what you or Mai will ever learn in your lifetime,” the princess said.

Ignoring the insult, Ty Lee placed a finger on her chin. “Wait, if it’s not for school, then why are you studying?”

“I’m not studying, I’m learning.”

“Yeah, learning what?”

Azula leaned in, Ty Lee taking in a breath as she did so. Faintly, she could smell Azula’s fragrant shampoo. Ty Lee resisted the urge to shake her head, noting how creepy it was for her to even think of something like that.

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” the princess said.

Ty Lee turned away, unable to meet Azula’s eyes. She pursed her lips, heat creeping up her neck. She clung on to the table, her fingers clawing at its wood to take her mind of the situation. But she knew, better than anyone that it was no use. No matter how hard she tried, to ignore and run, there was no denying the physical proximity between her and Azula. The princess was so close, so much so Ty Lee could practically hear her breathing, their faces only just a slight finger away. She wasn’t sure why Azula was doing such a thing, whether it be for her own amusement at Ty Lee’s expense. But whatever it was, the brunette hoped for it to end soon.

“Why are you so red? Are you sick?” Azula asked.

Ty Lee turned to the princess. She opened her mouth, though shut it as soon as her eyes met with Azula’s. Once more, she struggled for words, her attention stuck onto the princess. But soon enough, Ty Lee was able to force herself to speak.

“What? Me? Sick? No way. Nah, I’m totally fine,” Ty Lee said.

Azula was silent for a brief second. “You’re a horrible liar.”

The brunette sighed. “Yeah, I am.”

The princess spent another second or so staring at Ty Lee, much to the latter’s painful displeasure, her pounding heart practically cracking her ribs open. However, soon enough, Azula sat next to the brunette. With her arms crossed, she closed her eyes.

“Mai’s gone home, that’s how long it took for me to find you. How annoying,” she said.

Ty Lee couldn’t help but smirk, proud of her accomplishment. “Does that mean you get to tell me where kids come from?”

“I suppose. It depends, would you like to know?”

The brunette nodded. “Yeah, tell me.”

“That book you were reading, have you gotten to the section where the King met his future bride?”

Ty Lee scratched the back of her head. “Yeah, but I kinda skipped that part. It was getting…weird.”

Azula sighed. Slowly, she opened her eyes. The princess reached for a brush and paper.

“When the King first met his bride to be, he was so overcome with lust that he couldn’t contain himself. And so, in the dead of night, he snuck into her room.” Azula dipped the brush in ink.

“His bride had no knowledge of this, so she was fast asleep,” Azula folded the paper.

Ty Lee had absolutely zero idea what the princess was talking about, for the concept of lust and whatever strange happening Azula was talking about was completely new to her. And so, the brunette willfully listened to what Azula had to say, her ears wide open.

“The King spread the woman’s legs,” Azula placed the brush’s inked edge against the paper, “And went inside of her.”

The princess pressed brush through the paper, tearing it as Ty Lee winced. Now dirtied and torn, Azula set them aside.

“And that is how children come to be.”

Ty Lee furrowed her brows.

“So, basically, you…need to…uh,” the brunette couldn’t finish her sentence, unsure of what to say.

“I know what you’re going to say. And no, you don’t need to be in a bed. In fact, you can do it most anywhere, with anyone. It doesn’t really matter who or when, or even how it happens. So long as it does, there’s always a possibility for a child to be conceived,” Azula said.

Ty Lee leaned back against her chair, confused on what to do with her newly gained knowledge. She certainly couldn’t tell her parents about it, nor anyone she knew. So perhaps, she would carry it along with her, keeping it to her lonesome. But then again, the question arises once more, what exactly was she to do? Ty Lee fiddled her thumbs, staring off into nothing as she thought about what Azula said.

“Um, did the, uh, did the bride know what was happening to her?” she asked.

“No, not at all,” Azula said.

The brunette furrowed her brows. For some reason, what Azula said left a sour taste in her mouth. “Uh, I don’t think that’s okay.”

“In the eyes of the King, anything is fair game so long as he’s the one pulling the strings.”

“Yeah, okay, that’s pretty much his whole character. But, like, I don’t think you should just do that to someone without them knowing, you know? It just doesn’t feel right.”

“Since when did you start having opinions on literature?”

“Uh, since I read that book, I guess.” Ty Lee played with her fingers as she turned to Azula.

Much to her surprise, Azula had some semblance of a smile on her face. Not her usual snide smirks, or patronizing grins. Rather, perhaps, it was one of genuine amusement, how she didn’t expect Ty Lee of all people to take up the moral nuances of her book. The princess kept her smile as she leaned forward, resting her head on one hand, her golden eyes fixed on the brunette.

“What do you think of the King?” she asked.

“Well,” Ty Lee searched for the right words, “He’s a pretty bad person, so I don’t really like him. I mean, if he really wanted to unite his kingdom and achieve greatness and stuff, why couldn’t he just, you know, do it peacefully?”

“Well, his country has been stuck in a civil war for over a century, any chances of alliance between the warring sides was a mere dream,” Azula said.

“Yeah, you’re right. But still, even if he had to attack all those armies and villages, couldn’t he at least spare the innocent people? I mean, they had nothing to do with the war or the political plot, but they were massacred like animals. It just, doesn’t seem fair to me, you know? He wanted to help his people, but they became worse off under his rule.”

The princess smirked. “And how’s that?”

Ty Lee was taken aback by Azula’s smirk. “Um, you know, the economy and stuff. Since he burned downed and killed all the people in the farming villages, they had no crops or really any kind of food. He also destroyed the ports to stop his enemies from trading, right? So, he also can’t get any help from the outside.”

“What would you do if you were in the King’s position?” Azula asked.

“What? Me?” Ty Lee pointed at herself.

“Yes, who else am I talking to?”

Ty Lee stayed silent. She thought long and hard of what she was to do had she been in the King’s shoes, if there was even anything she could do to bring peace and ‘greatness’ to her kingdom. She knew that for one, she’d have to stop the civil war. But as Azula said, an alliance between the warring sides was impossible. She could try and try, and her calls for negotiations would fall on deaf ears. So perhaps, rather than trying the peaceful way, she’d have to bring them down herself to keep order. But then again, that would make her no better than the men who instigated the civil war in the first place. She would be just like them, a person who thinks of what she’s doing to be great and good, operating by her own moral compass.

Ty lee shook her head. “I…I don’t know, it’s complicated.”

“How so?” Azula asked.

“If I try the peaceful way, nothing will happen and innocents will die. But if I try the war way, more people will still die. There’s no winning.”

“So, is that what you see as winning?”

“What?” Ty Lee asked.

Azula leaned against her chair. “You want to bring peace to the kingdom with as little lives lost as possible.”

“Well, yeah, obviously.”

“I see,” Azula crossed her arms. ‘Well, however you see it, the King won in the end.”

Ty Lee raised a brow. “What? How?”

Azula clasped her palms. “He sought to unite his kingdom no matter the cost, and so he did. Even after his kingdom fell apart and crumbled, he had by definition achieved his goal, and so won. I don’t deny that his actions are near sighted and foolish. However, the one admirable trait I found within the king was his drive, his resolve.

“He had made it his purpose to unite his kingdom, and by proxy cause it to achieve greatness. Throughout the entire story, he stopped at nothing to inch closer towards that very goal. Not even after his wife’s death did he bother to reconsider his plans, or even so much as think of possibly ending his crusade. No, rather, he had the resolve to see his plan through. And by the end of it all, it was he who sat on the throne, it was he who brought his country to unified glory, even if only for a brief moment.”

Ty Lee furrowed her brows. “So, you like the King? As like, a person?”

Azula chuckled. “As a person, I’d have him executed if he so much as grazed my presence. However, I can admire his traits, even if they belonged to an idiotic psychopath.”

Ty Lee had nothing else to say or add, and so the girl merely nodded. The two of them spent the rest of their evening talking, about the book, and of other things. Whatever they were, it was not important to Ty Lee, for she was far too busy savoring every moment she spent with Azula. For once, she was able to speak with the princess in a way that made her feel good. Yes, her chest ached at the very thought of her, heart pounding as if she were to be chased down by a hungry tiger monkey at any given moment. But through it all, Ty Lee was still happy. Quite honestly, that was all that mattered to the girl, and she wished the princess felt the same way as well—no matter how unlikely it was. A/N: Hey there :) If you've enjoyed this little chapter, consider reading the actual fanfic here Anyway, thx for reading, and have a nice day.

#tyzula #ao3 #fanfiction #fanfic #avatar the last airbender #azula avatar

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tipsydipsydo · 4 years

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Hello!! ❤

This here is going to be the "prologue" for every BTS Dog Hybrid-Fanfic I'll write! In here I'll explain to you, how my "dog hybrid universe" will work. Some things are similar to the common Hybrid AU Headcanons, but there are also some things they'll be very different to you.

That's why I explained everything so detailed in here in the hope y'all will understand what I mean! 😅😂

Because I think I have to overwork this prologue here and there again for some details, I’ll write my last update down.

Last Update: 1st Feburary 2020

My BTS Dog Hybrid-Series🐾

Then... there we go! 🐶👣

Once upon a time where everything started...

The Evolution🌱

When the evolution of the human being began several million years ago, there was not only one single line of development, two ethnic groups of the human species developed almost completely independently of each other.

There were the "completely normal" human ethnicity and then the whim of the nature came up with something very unique. Even today, the researchers are pretty much groping in the dark as how the evolution led to the origin of the hybrid human ethnic group and how two genera that hardly related to each other were able to merge.

But this is how it happend and now 35%-40% of the hybrid human enthic group (also just called "hybrids") live on the earth beside the approximately 60%-65% purely human world population. They are capable of changing their shape and shifting into the form of so-called wolves and dogs.

The special thing about this phenomen is that there doesn't exist a pure species of wolves/dogs like the "normal" human. The hybrids are the only one of their shape-shifting species.

Just as the homo erectus is the basis for the human evolution, the Wolf hybrid represents the beginning of the hybrid evolution. Over the millennia, a wide variety of different "hybrid breeds" have developed from it, right up to today's modern domestic Dog Hybrids.

The civilization🏘

For the most of the time of their evolution, human and hybrid developed as a ethnicity independently from each other. Only a few hundred years ago, human and hybrid decided to build a civilisation together and benefit from each other's abilities.

For example, hybrids have much sharper senses than humans and because of their ability to shift into their their animal form, they can defend themselves much better against various enemies. Especially in the military, security services, police and criminal cases, drug control, food control, diseases, therapy, rescuring peoples etc.

Their excellent skills have improved the society's social live so much more.

However there are also some unpleasant sides. The animalistic habits, behaviours and instincts play a particularly important role, when they haven't learned to control them from a young age. For example it's not always the case that young hybrids learned properly during childhood and puberty to control their emotions and their shape shifting.

Unfortunately, it still happens sometimes that hybrids cannot deal with their fear or anger and then shifting into their hybrid shape to attack and hurt humans out of their primal instincts.

That's why living together is sometimes still a challenge and there have been up's and down's in this relationship ever since. At some points in the history it was even on the verge of both ethnic groups whiping each other out. But since 300 years the relationship between these two ethnic groups has been going relatively well, even though of course the society isn't perfect yet. Especially because tue hybrids are still a minority in contrast to the human population.

Hybrid Sexuality and their Behaviours❤

The topic of the hybrid sexuality and with it, the somewhat complicated sexual behaviours of them are still a little bit difficult for the human society to understanding and respecting it.

Young hybrids experiences puperty in a similar way like human teens do. Around the age of 15-16 years both, female and male hybrids get their first so-called "primal heat" phase. With the start of this first heat phase they reach now the sexual maturity. It's based on the animalistic nature of their hybrid genetics and lasts for about a week.

The Heat-Phases🐺📅

Female and male hybrids get such a heat phase for two or three times a year (depending in their hybrid breed). In these phases the sexual desire of both gender is very high and the urge to reproduce is extremely strong.

During this week, male and female hybrids should avoid meeting the opposite gender to prevent themselves from an unwanted pregnancy. Male hybrids can smell immediately when a female hybrid in their environment is in heat and their primal sexual instincts react instantly on the changed scent.

It costs them a lot of discipline and concentration not to rush to the female hybrid and try to get her pregnant.

It's very similar the other way around too, the primal instinct to get pregnant takes up the whole mind of the female and both gender can't think "humanely" and rational in these phases anymore.

Especially when it's their crush or even their mate it's hardly possible for a male hybrid to think clear and logically. Romantic feelings are mixed up with primal sexual needs, which is why couples who don't want pups yet should spent their primal heat separated from the other.

After the first primal heat, two to three weeks later the menstruation of the female hybrid set in. The period of hybrids is very short with 1-2 days menstruating compared to human females. In addition, once in a month hybrid girls also has the "ovulation heat" which lasts around two or three days.

Heat suspressants that are harmless to their health have already been developed for this specific heat. The ovulation takes place nevertheless, but these medications suspress their sexual desire and the sweet, aphrodisiac-like change in their scent is also suspressed to avoid attracting the attention of other hybrids. There also exist special birth control medication for female hybrids. Except for the primal and ovulation heat phase they can take birth control pills too.

Male hybrids are a pain in the ass when they are in their primal heat. They shouldn't be with their female hybrid or vixen mate in this specific week (they “shouldn't” be with their mate in their shared apartment, when they still live separated from each other, the following risk wouldn’t be that high) because sometimes they can't resist the urge to steal and hide the ovulation heat suspressants and birth control pills of their mate. This instinctive impulse comes from the secret hope that their mate could become fertile again during their own primal heat and are able to impregnate them. Just the thought that their mate could give birth to his pups drives some hybrids crazy.

But this extreme urge to impregnate their mate is only in their own primal heat phases so unusual strong.

If neither of them is in a heat phase it's usually sufficient to satisfy the sexual needs of the partner and only have dirty talk about impregnation.

There are special condoms for hybrids available but the majority of the hybrid population (males and females as well) prefer birth control pills for females because of their impregnation instinct. However, condoms are occasionally used as a necessary contraceptive when hybrids have sex during the ovulation heat.

Thanks to the suspressants, the male partner can't smell their ovulation heat, so the extreme impregnation instinct doesn't occur. During the short time period of the menstruation, female hybrids are not fertile.

How strong the impregnation instinct really is depends mostly in the character of the hybrid, but sometimes it's also a little bit influenced by their hybrid breed.

So far, no harmless contraceptives for the primal heat could been created until now. Although there are illegal drugs that can suppress the primal heat, but these drugs dangerously disrupt the hormone balance of a hybrid. So after taking the drug for a longer time, they could become infertile or, in the worst case, could die from an overdosis.

Hybrid-Rights🛡

Therefore, in the equal rights of both ethnic groups and taking into account the special needs of the hybrids, the government has passed the law, that every hybrid has the right to take leave from work or other appointements during their primal heat. This is also a protection for hybrids from sexual assault and rape.

Since the first long-term rapprochement of the two ethnic groups, it has also become apparent that both ethnic groups can reproduce children with each other, resulting in half-hybrids, so-called "vixen".

"Vixen"🐶👣

The child of a hybrid and a human is a half hybrid, called vixen. Up to half of their genotype consists of hybrid and half of human genetics. Since hybrid genetics are not predominant here, they are not capable of shifting into their hybrid form, but they are able to procreate fully formed hybrid pups together with a hybrid.

Vixen also have stronger senses than humans, but they don't match the abilities of real hybrids. In addition, they may have certain physical characteristics and personal traits/behaviours of their hybrid breed.

Like humans and hybrids, vixen reach their sexual maturity at puberty, a special feature is that they will get into a heat-phase twice a year too, for around 3-4 days.

Female vixen gets her first heat-phase around the age of 13 to 14 years, where upon her first period should occur two or three weeks later.

The menstrual cycle is not really different from that from a human girl/woman. At the time of their monthly ovulation they don't have a ovulation-heat, which is based on their human genetics.

Nevertheless, when they're ovulating they notices it by themself and hybrids smell the slightly changed, a little bit sweeter scent too. Sometimes also perceive vixen with a very sensitive nose notice the smell of a ovulating vixen too, for example hunting dog vixen.

For some years now female and male vixen have also had the legal right to take leave during the heat phase. This must be taken by account of their comany where they work.

The genetic dispensation📊

Hybrid = 100% hybrid genetics

Human = 100% human genetics

Partner A (50% genetics) x Partner B (50% genetics) = Baby (100% genetics)

▪Hybrid x Hybrid = Hybrid pups (100% hybrid)

▪Hybrid x Human = male/female Vixen (50% hybrid/50% human)

▪Hybrid x Vixen = Hybrid pups (75% hybrid/25% human)

▪Vixen x Vixen = Vixen (50% hybrid/ 50% human)

▪Vixen x Human= Human/Vixen Baby (25% hybrid/ 75% human) [second generation vixen]

▪2nd generation vixen x Hybrid= Vixen Baby/Hybrid (62,5% hybrid/37,5% human)

▪2nd generation vixen x human = human/ 3rd generation vixen (6,25% hybrid/93,75 human)

▪...etc.

The more generations of vixen there are and the more there are mixed up with human genetics, the less likely a hybrid child would be born.

Up to 70% of hybrid genetics always result a fully formed hybrid (hybrid genes are dominant and prevail against the resessive human genes, the genetic of the child/pup will turn into 100% hybrid genetics again during the fertilization. This based on the not yet fully clarified so-called phenomen of the self-preservation of the hybrid-ethnicity).

Between 50%-70% of Hybrid genetics can succeed hybrid pups as well as vixen babys (probability depends on the genetics of the parents, the lower the hybrid genetics, the more likely a vixen could be born).

It's common that between 60%-70% of hybrid genetics it's more likely to have a hybrid baby. Between 50%-60% the probability decreases increasingly, so that between 50%-55% mostly only vixen are born.

Nevertheless exceptions confirm the rule!

For example:

2nd generation vixen x hybrid = First pregnancy a vixen baby could be born and in the second pregnacy a hybrid pup (62,5% hybrid/ 37,5% human).

With less than 50% the offspring are only Vixen, depending on the genetic distribution several generations. With each generation the hybrid characteristics and their sensitive senses decreases. In addition, their heat time shortened, the symptoms and the scent becomes weaker until they finally appear only sporadically and/or disappear completely.

That's also why so many "breed hybrid" vixen are possible too.

For example:

Golden Retriever! Vixen x Poodle! Vixen = Goldendoodle! Vixen Baby

3rd generation German Shepherd! vixen x Husky! vixen = Gerberian Shepsky! vixen

and then:

Gerberian Shepsky! vixen x Alaskan Malamute! hybrid = Gerberian Shepsky Malamute! hybrid pups

If in the area between 50%-70% hybridal genetics results in a hybrid children, their genetics also turns into 100% hybrid genetics too. However, the probabilitly of having a fully formed hybrid pup when both parents have 50%-60% hybrid genetics together is very rare. Mostly the result will be a vixen baby, because there is too many human genetics involved.

[To be honest the only thing you really need to know is, that all Vixen! Reader are first generation vixen and they're able to have fully formed hybrid pups with the boys! ...I just love it to make complicated xD]

Scenting and Marking💋

Male and female hybrids as well have the habit of marking their relationship partner and their children/pups "as theirs" (sometimes even very close friends as an evidence of trust and affection).

They usually rub their head against their loved one or kiss/lick their partners neck to transmit their own scent to them.

An another possible was would be the visible marking with lovebites and hickeys, where they also transmit their scent on this person at the same time.

How strong the urge for scenting and marking is, depends individually on the hybrid.

Vixen also have a slight form of this instinct, but that's only a stronger way of attachment and the intense habit of marking their partner with hickeys.

Mating♾

"Mating" is a ritual of hybrids when they choose a certain person to become their life partner (it's the hybrid way to marry someone). Mostly this happen while they have sex together. Then they bite their partner gently in the area between neck and shoulder. During the process their canines lengthen so that they look very similar to the fangs of their hybrid form and so they inject their own scent into the body of their partner.

Now the partner adopted the particular scent nuance of his hybrid and each hybrid will be able to smell that you two are mates now.

A mated person has become uninteresting to other hybrids (unless a hybrid are searching for a fight...).

Since then the freshly mated partner no longer arouses the interest of other hybrids, the hybrid partner usually becomes much calmer, jealousy decrease moreand more or disappears completely.

Scenting and Marking is then only used as a evidence of love and affection, because it's not really "needed" anymore.

When a male hybrid mated a female human, the hybrid can smell the ovulation days of her cycle. Either then his mate takes scent suspressants for female humans or she will get pregnant doubtlessly in his next primal heat. ;)

Knotting🐺❤

The penis of a hybrid in his human form doesn't differ in any way from that of humans. Mostly there just larger and thicker than the average human cock size. However, a certain area of their shaft, short before the base of the cock is reached, swells during the ejaculation. This swelling is called a knot and prevents the penis from sliding out of the vagina for the next 20 minutes. This phenomenon is intended to ensure that the female is definitely impregnated.

(This only works when they doesn't use birth control.)

While mastubation and the following ejaculation the knot swells slightly too. But when there is nothing around the shaft (like usually the vaginal canal), the knot doesn’t has anything to keep hold of and swells down really quickly again.

Pregnancy and Birth 🤰🤱

Hybrid pups are usually slightly larger than human babies. Female Hybrids are able to give birth to twin pups or even triplet pups because they have a wider and therefore anatomically more advantageous pelvis for pregnacy and birth.

Vixen also have a slightly wider pelvis than female humans and can give birth to a single pup or twin pups as well.

Female humans always get pregnant with one vixen baby and they're a little bit bigger than the normal, average human babies too. But that's not a problem, they're just like a big human baby.

Female Humans are as usual nine month pregnant, female Vixen eight months and Hybrids only seven month. Most of the time female hybrids give birth to their babies like vixen and humans, in their human form. Except they're in a enormous stress situation they feel instinctively safer when they give birth in their hybrid form.

After delivery, the hybrid pups immediately shift back into their human form.

When a female hybrid transform while pregnancy or giving birth, the embryos in her womb shift at the same time with her body together.

The first months 👶🐾

Hybrid pups, vixen and human babies need about the same time to grow up and become full upgrown adults. So the hybrid pups aren't any different in their human form to vixen or human babies.

But there is still one small difference, hybrid pups already starts crawling around five months and they shifting their shape dir the first time of their life between the 6th and the 8th month.

Just as for human parents the first step of their baby is a very important moment, for hybrid pups parents it's the first shape shifting of their pups. Because then they see for the first time the fur colour and the physical characteristics of the hybrid form of their pup. Their hybrid shape accords to a five week old dog puppy.

From this point on, the hybrid form adapts to the growing pace of their human form.

Childhood and Teens🎒📚

Hybrid children have to learn how to control their shape shifting. Especially at the age of a toddler is the time when they shift unpredictable. In Kindergarten and elementary school it's often the case that they notices their shape shifting too late or are distracted while shifting back into their human form, so that they get stuck in a kinda "half-transformation" for a short time. In this "half-transformation" only their ears shifted into the hybrid form and their tail comes out.

When they get into middle school, all hybrids should have learned to control the shifting and the emotions they're connected/caused their shifting.

Soo... I hope you readed everything until here and unterstand hopefully the most of it! When there still some questions don't be shy to ask! I'll always open for tips/questions!!

Why the Half-Hybrids are called "Vixen" (I know it's usually a word for a female fox). But this was the translation for the german word "Fähe" (means female foxes and sometimes also wolves!) and I kinda like this word. It's better than the biological word "Bitch" for female dogs xD (But maybe I'll use it for dirty dirty talk in there~).

My Imagines

My Masterlist

[Copyright]

This prologue owns「© tipsydipsydo」

This specific universe is my intellectual property and belongs only to my blog @tipsydipsydo!

I’ll not accept any kind of reposting, stealing or using/editing my work! That includes reposting my content on other social media platforms too, even when you link me as the original author.

Thank you.

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chriscdcase95 · 5 years

Text

Why people like Luaggie and odd couples

The following is based off my opinions and observations.

This is the only gif I could find of them by the way. I haven’t figured out how to upload pictures from desktop.

So I haven’t really been vocal about being a Loud House fan on here, mainly because I want to avoid (often manufactured) fandom drama that often comes up in my circle of friends and acquaintances; but some of the few discussions I’m willing to engage in these the fandom are shipping’s and alleged shipping wars. Shipping’s are a funny thing - they are a small thing all things considered, and yet people make these big deals about them as if they are the center of the fandom as a whole.

Because this is Luaggie Week in The Loud House fandom at the time I am writing this, I decided to use Luaggie, and other Loud House" ships - both canon or non canon, and both romantic and non romantic - as examples. But Luaggie is the primary example here.

“So what is Luaggie ?” It is a popular non canonical ship in the Loud House fandom, and is a good example of a “Fanfic Ship” - This means a ship that can only work in fanfiction and is very, very, very unlikely to work in canon. And why is that ? Because Luan has a canonical lover interest in Benny and in the actual show Maggie only appears in one episode, and doesn’t remotely interact with Luan in the actual episode. Maggie’s mother appears in the show more than Maggie herself, and that is as a background character.

This is because Maggie is an Ensemble Darkhorse, which TV Tropes defines as “A secondary or minor character in a work who becomes popular among the works fandom”. What Maggie made popular ? Arguably because she was a teenage version of Haiku (an Ensemble Darkhorse in her own right) or was an emo girl who was the opposite of Luan in terms of personality, but close to her age that it would be believable they’d know eachother. From such, fanfics and/or fan art did one or two things to Maggie; they either pair her up with Luan, or more rarely make Maggie a big sister to Haiku. It should be noted that Maggie is hardly the only example of the Ensemble Darkhorse trope in the Loud House, and is hardly the only secondary/minor character to be shipped with one of the main characters.

“So what makes Luaggie so special ?” Nothing canonically, there’s two short and simple answers to this; some fans write fanfics and art, in turn other fans grew to like them. And so Luaggie spread, but what made them appeal ? Others answer with “opposites attract”; Luan is a clown girl for lack of a better word, and Maggie is a near stoic goth. But my answer is a little more lenient and applicable to other ships both in and out of The Loud House; canon or romantic or no. This is a little something called the Odd Couple and the appeals to these couples are not what they have in common, but what they don’t. They have differences that can play off eachother, and I think that’s what people like to see in polar opposite relationships. This dynamic is also applicable to non romantic relationships and family bonds.

And to demonstrate this, I present to you Loud House examples. The biggest familial and platonic example of this in the Loud House can be seen in Lola and Lana’s dynamic; as twins they are arguably the closest pair of sisters among the Loud siblings, and yet their entire characters revolve around how they are polar opposites of eachother. And for a romantic example, there was Lucy having a crush on Rocky, despite them being seeming opposites with Lucy being a total goth and Rocky…pretty much being your average nerdish kid. Other canon or non canon relationships apply to this dynamic; Lynn and Clyde -or Clynn- are a popular non canon pairing (a jock girl with a nerdish boy); Lincoln and Ronnie Anne - Ronnincoln - is considered one of the biggest pairings in the fandom and it also somewhat falls into the same category of a tough girl and not so nerdish boy. I bring these up because these “Tough Girl and Nerd Guy” kind of relationships have a special appeal to me for some reason. Both Lincoln and Clyde are also popularly paired up with Haiku, which can fall under the same category as Lucy and Rocky above.

Why is contrasting characters appealing to fans ? Because pairing someone up with someone who is the exact same as they are can get boring, if there is nothing to play off with. Let’s take the episode L is For Love for example; besides Benny, Sam, and Chaz, the love interests introduced for the sisters in this episode are basically male, two dimensional, carbon copies of the sisters that serve as plot devices to segway into the reveal that Luna is Bi; Sam was initially popular because she was a confirmed love interest for a major female character, and even then the episode where they go on a date has a plot about what they don’t have in common, which saves Sam from being a total copy cat of Luna; Chaz became popular because he was (physically at least) the opposite of Leni; Benny was initially popular because he wasn’t Maggie (more on that below) and even in his and Luan’s spotlight episode we see a slight difference between them in that Benny was more of a theatre lover than Luan, who was more of a comedian.

It should go without saying contrasts don’t always work for compelling positive relationships. Many of fictions greatest rivalries stem from how two rivals contrast eachother.

But didn’t Luaggie start a fan war ? Hardly. There was a pretty one sided fan war going on around the time Stage Plight aired. Because this was Luan and Benny’s episode, fans of them - Lunny’s -were getting all hyped that their ship was going to be made official, and spent a good amount of their time bragging about it to Luaggie fans. Now as I mentioned above one of the reasons why Benny became popular with fans in the first place was because he was a Luan love interest that wasn’t Maggie, and Luaggie detractors tend to hate it with a burning passion. Now I can see where they are coming from, considering Luaggie’s popularity in fanfics and art, and some fans have a problem when it comes to compartmentalizing fanon and canon. It gotten to the point that when Luaggie art used to get shared, Lunny fan’s would get all up and arms about how Benny was Luan’s love interest. What people call ship policing.

Trust me, I can understand their frustrations I’ve been on the receiving end of such things, so I can certainly put myself in their shoes, albeit with different ships.

Anyways, Stage Plight airs and Luan and Benny are an official couple. Did Luaggie’s complain ? Cry ? Leave the fandom ? Have a total social media meltdown ? No. For the most part, Luaggie’s I’ve seen and talked too generally took the episode in stride, said they liked the episode and went on with their lives. The episode certainly didn’t stop Luaggie fan works from being made, as the Lunny fans predicted. Because Luaggie was always a fanfic based ship, and I don’t think anyone seriously thought or expected them to be an actual couple in the show. Lunny fans on the other hand spent their time showboating and singing sweet victories over the “defeat” of the Luaggie fans, celebrating a war they made up in their own hands.

I have seen some go as far as to say Luaggie is a toxic ship, which I don’t see. I think people have different ideas over what a toxic ship is. A friend and I talked about two different ideas of what a toxic ship is; to him a toxic relationship was reflected by their fans and bullying behaviour they do in the name of their ship; to me a toxic ship would be a relationship that promotes or romanticizes abusive ideals such as rape, incest, pedophilia, victimization, etc. As such I don’t see how Luaggie falls into that category - although a non Loud House ship called Jemma from Every Witch Way, might fall into that category, but that an analytical rant for another day.

That being said, it does bring to mind the concept of Ship Policing, which means telling people who they are allowed to ship or not to ship and bullying others over them. Again, I think this might have to do with a failure to differentiate between popular fanon and canon, and I have been on the receiving end of this so I gotta vent.

Stress Induced Rant incoming

I once got into a shipping debate earlier this year regarding two non Loud House related ships in a Facebook group I’m in where the non canon Kigo ship of the Kim Possible fandom was brought up. I mentioned that Kigo didn’t really appeal to me due to re-watching the show and coming to the conclusion that Kigo would be canonically problematic, and their canon pairings (Kim x Ron, and Drakken x Shego) grew on me. At no point did I say Kigo doesn’t work as a fanfic couple, but canon wise, I saw too many problems that goes against Kigo’s favour in comparison to their canon boyfriends.

I am going to use this as an example of what shipping police are and how not to debate other fans. So when I mentioned I wasn’t into Kigo in comparison to KiRon and Drakgo, this one Kigo fan went ballistic and kept badgering me. So I explain myself, answer all her questions, and bring up some of my points and reasonings. In turn, she answers my points with Double Standards and Non Sequiturs; either dodging my questions or saying my answers don’t apply when they don’t go against her arguments. She then resorts to using fanfics as “proof” that Kigo would work in canon, and when that fails she starts making Ad Hominem attacks and personal insults - notably calling me retarded when my autism was briefly mentioned in the discussion - and went on about it well past midnight. Rule of thumb, when you resort to personal insults and attacking someone over an opinion that won’t budge, you kind of forfeit your argument. Luckily, this was only one Kigo fan, who doesn’t represent its fandom as a whole

Venting over.

Like I mentioned, ships are a funny - they actually mean very little in the grand scheme of things, but to fandoms, they are the center of the world.

I should also say there a third or fourth reason non canon ships become popular; a lot of fans either take note on onscreen chemistry a paring may have, or project some where there is none, and that is because fans tend to project themselves or their ideas onto characters they like, including what their ideal relationships would be like. It’s hardly exclusive to The Loud House fandom. Me for example, in stories I wrote but never posted, I paired a young adult version of Steven Lloyd from the Halloween series and Edith Sawyer from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre series; I design them to have an obvious contrast between them and show how it would play off between the two, but these are two characters that never met in canon (especially since the two series never crossover). Had I wrote a legitimate Halloween/Texas Chainsaw crossover, chances are I’d implement that pairing into the story.

As far as Luaggie goes, I don’t see it as any different than another Leather and Lace relationship applied to fanfiction and fan art. What’s my opinion of them ? Really that depends on the fic or the artwork. I’m not gonna delude myself into thinking it’s gonna become canon or have some power over canon. Nor do I think it’s worth getting all hyped and excited for a non existant ship war.

#the loud house #Luaggie Week #luaggie #Luan Loud #Maggie #Benny #Lunny #lincoln loud #clyde mcbride #lynn loud #haiku #lucy loud #rocky spokes #ronnie anne santiago #ronnincoln

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permian-tropos · 5 years

Note

Hi! you said you only like particular types of Kylux, do you have any stories to recommend? How do you feel about gingerpilot, hux/rose (hose?) and hux/cardinal?

It’s actually been a few years since I shipped kylux. My absolute ultimate Star Wars OTP that has consumed 50% of my waking thoughts has been gallirae, which is such a teensy Imperial rarepair. Even with it being so teensy, just myself and some friends, I haven’t run out of ways to explore it. There’s so much untapped potential. I’ve shipped it for longer than I shipped kylux. Rae Sloane in particular succeeds at being the villainous archetype that a lot of people including myself had to work to transform Hux into. An ambitious, talented, career officer and underdog with reasons to passionately defend the system and other reasons to doubt or resent it.

Back when I was more kylux-exclusive, once I got into the idea of creating my own content, I was very fixated on that and found other fic to be somewhat distracting. Also lately my attention span when it comes to reading fanfic has drastically improved. (Going back on ADHD meds has... been part of it). So back in the day, I noticed plenty of cool stories, including stuff friends of mine wrote, but struggled to read it. My impression of fandom was more the stuff that wound up on my tumblr dash. Plus I did a ton of RP. There’s probably a lot of really good kylux fic out there that I never got around to reading, also a lot of good kylux fic I read but forgot. I didn’t keep good records on AO3. I just now checked my bookmarks list for you and the kylux fics on there? I do not remember anything about them and I really did read them ages ago. I don’t even have enough links to fics my old fandom friends wrote. I really just wasn’t much of a content curator.

I think my ideal kylux (The Fic I Never Truly Wrote) would be something with a truly sci-fi, fantasy, or paranormal plot. Something besides romance is going on, danger and intrigue especially coming from extraordinary sources. There’s a whole chunk of worldbuilding, intrigue, suspense or danger. Kind of action-adventure buddy-dramedy-ish (I said kylux isn’t like ineffable husbands in personality but that doesn’t mean they can’t be thrown into slightly alike plot circumstances).

That being said. There’s one kylux fic I still remember liking AND remembered enough identifying info to find it again on AO3 (there’s a couple of others that I just... FUCK... I can’t remember the author or fic name even though a lot of other stuff is really clear in my mind. Sorry. I was depressed and disorganized for the past few years). I’m not saying this one’s the best of everything I’ve read, or exactly what I might have been looking for. But I remember it. It’s quite old by sequel trilogy fandom standards. Also if it turns out to have been right about Palpatine possession being the endgame thing, that will be neat as heck.

Saint by @ofcorsetstrash lol I think I’ve told them once before that this is inexplicably one of my favorite fics (not that it’s inexplicable because it’s not good but that I read it very early on and it remained memorable with how huge the fandom got) it just resonated with me maybe I really liked the way it represented mental conversations with use of text formatting, that’s something I did in one of my first fanfics and it’s a very cool and vivid technique.

Also there’s these fics my best friend Mads @honeypothux wrote a while back:

Seasons Greetings From the Solo-Organas -- a holiday comedy with a cool background element of a modern AU with Star Wars infused history (I’m a sucker for modern settings that are like what medieval fantasy is to medieval Europe -- very similar normal everyday life, very different geopolitics and history. It has the same intrigue for me as magic realism.)

When the Crypt Door Creaks -- sadly unfinished but it’s young adult Kylo and Hux in a haunted Disney ride adventure. The Haunted Mansion itself. A lot of cool ideas, reminds me a teeny bit of a Henry Selick animated film.

And the ones of mine I like:

Flashburn -- very very weird context for this one, fandom got obsessed with tentacle rape for a brief while and I found it squicky and started a fic to work through that squick by taking the idea seriously, but it’s not at all explicit, it’s about as implicit as you can get without actual ambiguity. Rated T but check the warnings. It’s more about Kylo and Hux discovering ways to not hate each other.

Our Wicked Home -- maybe my favorite kylux fic I’ve written. Senator Hux returns to the abandoned Arkanis Academy as part of a truth and reconciliation, alongside his Jedi bodyguard Ben Solo. Hux doesn’t have a bad relationship with his family in this (and his parents were happily married), and it’s hard for him to cope with having nostalgia for a place where there was so much suffering.

Memory of Snow -- quiet alpine angst post-canon with hermit Kylo finding outcast Hux has tracked him down

Moving on:

How I feel about gingerpilot? Never really felt like my thing.

Hux/Rose? I have never seen it called Hose that’s hilarious omfg. I didn’t passionately love it at first but my pal @tobermoriansass got me into it. I definitely don’t ship it in all possible configurations. Not as a cutesy sort of ship, definitely. Something raw and rotten and intense. I have a half-finished Hux/Rose fic that I wrote for a fic exchange. Still feel guilty about not completing it. But I kind of gave myself a writing injury trying to finish it, pushed myself too hard. I’ll come back to it when I’m ready.

If you want a smut rec here’s a wild ride of a Finn/Rose/Hux weird alien psychic bond threesome

Hux/Cardinal? I haven’t read Phasma yet, just had other people tell me about it. I’d kind of like to ship them as brothers. This is mostly because I don’t like canon Brendol Hux having no complexity in his relationship to his son. I think he was once an interesting character who could have been even more interesting and who can’t be interesting when he’s too repulsive to linger on for long. So having Cardinal and Armitage develop a strong brotherly bond adds to a complicated family backstory. Deep down I want to do a Fullmetal Alchemist AU for them where Cardinal is the disembodied suit of armor brother to Armitage the shrimpy irascible genius, though they’re far less heroic than the Elrics.

Ummmmmm

I think that’s about it except that one major reason why I don’t read kylux is that I’m absolutely obsessed with my OC of his mom and I so vastly prefer the universe where she exists because she’s like a weird overpowered feral ocean witch. If only canon had invented her instead of me.

OH ALSO I FORGOT THANK YOU FOR THE QUESTION ANON YOURE VERY LOVELY HOPE YOU ENJOY THE FICS I JUST GOT SO FOCUSED ON ANSWERING I FORGOT I WAS VERY HAPPY TO GET YOUR ASK LOL

#asks #fic recs #kylux

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sorcerusdragonbionics · 5 years

Text

Reading list 6/22-6/29

So I got this from a few places, such as the FanFic Summer Reading Challenge as well as one of the profiles I’m following mentioning that they wanted to do a reading list of every fanfic they’ve read. I read A LOT, hence why wanted to do the Summer Reading Challenge, but I also wanted to share fics with people, so I’ve decided that every Sunday I’ll post the fics I’ve read in a Reading List for the week.

Fic ratings range from G to E, but all of them are labeled so if something isn’t your cup of tea, don’t read it. Since this is my first list and I want to see how it turns out I’ll keep them all together for now, but depending on how it turns out I might start dividing them up by fandom and possibly by Rating.

For Now: Tell me if this Sharable Link works for you Google Drive Folks, or Read More if you feel so inclined.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/19Py4njs7UTYOijl3TkGAB2MouJ4uiTa4e3uB6ThpMjs/edit?usp=sharing

Revenge of White Rabbit

Fandom: Tiger & Bunny

Author: TiBun, UnknownPaws

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4832390/chapters/11067851

Status: Complete

Series: https://archiveofourown.org/series/329461

Complete

Three works

Chapters: 14/14

Summary: They say that bad things happen in threes, but they never specify just how Nightmarish "bad things" can get.

Rating: E

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Major Character Death

Words: 45091

You’re All I Need

Fandom: Tiger & Bunny

Author: towokuwusatsuwu

https://archiveofourown.org/works/8565637/chapters/19636612

Status: Incomplete

Last Updated 2016/11/17

Chapters: 2/?

Summary: In a world where you only see in shades of gray until you meet your soulmate, Barnaby has his literally fall into his arms.

Rating: M

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 2891

Of Tigers and Bunnies Series

Fandom: Tiger & Bunny

Author: MarchWindsAprilShowers

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1332236

Status: OnGoing

Last Updated 2019/6/25

Works: 7

Home Sweet Home Summary: Barnaby wasn’t sure exactly what it was that made his partner’s home feel like...home. At least, he feels more at home there than anywhere else, including his own apartment.

The Group’s Couple Summary: Every large friend group has at least one honorary couple and this one is pretty annoying. (A short and completed drabble series of how the other heroes deal and interact with TaiBani.)

Already Perfect Summary: If there’s one thing Barnaby actively avoids in interviews, it's the subject of children in his future besides Kaede.

Fried Rice and Promise Summary: In which Barnaby decides to return the favor and kick down Kotetsu's door unannounced with some fried rice to cheer up the old man.

My Hero! Summary: Okay, alright. Social media has even pointed it out at this point. Barnaby will admit it. // He can be a little protective of Kotetsu. // Maybe even unreasonably.

For the Last Time, Go to Bed! Summary: Keith is sick with a cold and keeps bothering Ivan who is currently making him some soup.

Betrayed by the Heart Monitor Summary: Barnaby is injured on the job and is in the hospital. Kotetsu is with him and refuses to go home. It's 1AM, so that's the perfect time for confessions (obviously)!

Rating G - T

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 7424

The Prophecy

Fandom: BBC Merlin

Author: VikingSong

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/10463682/1

Status: OnGoing

Last Updated 2019/6/22

Chapters: 79/?

Summary: Uther learns Arthur is the Once-and-Future-King of prophecy and declares him a traitor, forcing him to flee with Merlin. The catch? Arthur has no idea who Emrys is and no desire to fulfill the prophecy. Reveal!fic. T for action sequences/some deaths; no slash, no smut, no language. Cover art by AlexandarCho on deviantART (used with permission).

Rating: T

Different Tagging System so not marked for whole work, but Author is vigilant to point out moments of violence that will be coming up in the chapter.

Words: 110584

The Only One

Fandom: Tiger & Bunny

Author: Rinienne

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7085107/chapters/16103044

Status: Complete

Chapters: 8/8

Summary: There was nothing funny about a NEXT ability which made some people lose their minds to lust, especially while it had such deadly consequences. Others were not affected by it the same way, but what was the difference between the two groups was a question yet unanswered.

Rating: E

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Warnings

Words: 46668

Zero to Hero

Fandom: Hero Academia

Author: ryrybread

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19323073/chapters/45963673

Status: OnGoing

Last Updated 2019/6/24

Chapters: 2/?

Summary: Midoriya Izuku has had a hard time getting through life as long as he could remember. Not only was he quirkless, but he was born in the wrong body, gender-wise. // If it wasn't for his childhood friend standing up for him, he wouldn't even been here, let alone being face to face with his ultimate role model, All Might. // Follow Izuku through his high school experience, dealing with feelings, villains, and transitioning to become the boy he always was meant to me.

Rating: T

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 2057

Something To Look Forward To

Fandom: Hero Academia

Author: jooniebears14

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19206946/chapters/45661945

Status: OnGoing

Last Update Approx 2019/6/25

Chapters: 2/?

Summary: After leaving his horrible middle school Izuku Midoriya starts fresh at a new one. Making plenty of friends and experiences along the way, everything was perfect until… // “Izuku were getting married” // “ Oh that’s great I’m so happy for you guys” // “ Yeah and were moving back to Musutafu” // “Wait what”

Rating: T+

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Words: 3293

Zero: the World’s Best Hero Duo

Fandom: Hero Academia

Author: Toboe1087

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18548689/chapters/43963657

Summary: There was a next to zero percent chance that it would happen. That two infants would meet each other in the park and have a soulmate connection. That they would grow up together and change the world forever. But that's the thing, the chances were next to zero, but not quite zero.

Status: OnGoing

Last Updated Approx 2019/6/25

Chapters: 24/?

Rating: G

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 40125

Three’s a Crowd

Fandom: Hero Academia

Author: ScatteredSounds

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15960185/chapters/37223450

Summary: Izuku wasn't sure if he was ready to find his soulmate, then he found two. He swears upon All Might's abs that he is not ready to handle this shit. Todoroki has had a rough past and finds it difficult to show emotion. Bakugou only know how to show 50 shades of anger. And Izuku is just so happy to have both of them in his life he doesn't really know what to do with himself.

Status: OnGoing

Last Update Approx 20169/6/17

Chapters: 13/?

Rating: E

Warnings: Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings

Words: 43949

A Suitable Nickname

Fandom: Tiger & Bunny

Author: Fujiwara_no_Seimei

https://archiveofourown.org/works/216812

Status: Complete

Chapters: 1/1

Summary: Kotetsu and Barnaby have been living together for years with Kaede, and now a teenager, she's pushing her boundries. Barnaby learns what his real role is in this dysfunctional family.

Rating: T+

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 797

Win Some, Lose Some Series

Fandom: Tiger & Bunny

Author: Lirillith

https://archiveofourown.org/series/12623

Status: Incomplete

Last Update 2012/2/13

Works: 3

Win Some, Lose Some Summary: Barnaby visits Kotetsu in the hospital after the final confrontation.

Better Late Than Never Summary: Set during the episode 25 timeskip. Kotetsu and Barnaby get their chance to talk before Kotetsu leaves Stern Bild.

Keep Your Chin Up Summary: Barnaby navigates Christmas solo.

Rating: G-T

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 7096

Potential Happy Endings for Tiger & Bunny

Fandom: Tiger & Bunny

Author: wickedorin

https://archiveofourown.org/works/308846/chapters/494248

Status: Complete

Chapters: 5/5

Summary: While I was waiting for the final episode, I had a little fun writing the possible endings that were in my head. Many spoilers, but not really for the final episode.

Rating: M

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death

Words: 5326

Seasons Will Change

Fandom: Tiger & Bunny

Author: Tru

https://archiveofourown.org/works/253126

Status: Complete

Chapters: 1/1

Summary: A "what if?" post episode 24.

Rating: T

Warnings: Major Character Death

Words: 1807

Me in You, You in Me

Fandom: Attack on Titan

Author: fromstarlighttodust

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19338721

Status: Complete

Chapters: 1/1

Summary: When an experiment goes wrong, Levi and Eren end up in swapped bodies. Unfortunately, existing as each other until they can figure out how to reverse it turns out to be more difficult than they had anticipated. Ultimately, it leads to a journey of hard truths, mutual discovery and a greater understanding of one another--not to mention an appreciation for being themselves.

Rating: M

Warnings: Underage

Words: 9732

Hero Name

Fandom: Hero Academia

Author: miarinnes

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19364635/chapters/46072966

Status: OnGoing

Last Updated 2016/6/26

Chapters:1/?

Summary: Bakugou Katsuki was visited by a "ghost" girl named Katsumi. The bubbly 5-year-old instantly got immuned by Katsuki's angry outbursts and a wide range of curses. Who was this girl, this -- Katsumi who had curly blonde hair, round ruby eyes, and freckles across her cheeks? Bakugou does not seem to care until she had talked about her Papa that reminded her of spring and the color green.

Rating: M

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 3957

I’m Only Yours (Forever and Ever)

Fandom: Attack On Titan

Author:Siamesepolyporegoat

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15778020/chapters/36707862

Status: Complete

Series: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1164533

Incomplete

Last Update 209/6/20

Chapters: 26/26

Summary: Eren was the second son. He was supposed to be free to love and marry whoever he wanted. So why was he being sent to marry some stranger?

Rating: M

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage

Words: 67781

On the Shoulder of a Giant

Fandom: Attack on Titan

Author: Written By: Emamel

Read By: Opalsong

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2791343

Status: Complete

Chapters: 11/11

Summary: The Scouting Legion receives word of a rogue titan in the battle of Trost. // They didn't know what to expect - it certainly wasn't Jaeger.

Rating: M

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Podfic- 0 words read

Savior

Fandom: Hero Academia

Author: jaegerackereri

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18077612/chapters/42727589

Status: OnGoing

Last Update 2019/6/29

Chapters: 6/?

Summary: When Izuku's brother Kota becomes gravely ill, the only person that is able to save him is the cruel Dragon King Katsuki Bakugou, but how far is Izuku willing to go to save his brother...

Rating: M

Warnings: Author Chose Not Use Warnings, Rape/Non-Con

Words: 10232

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tessatechaitea · 5 years

Text

Black Condor #1

After this caption, I'm going to pretend that I didn't buy this comic book because this guy looks fucking hot.

If there was a Comics Code Authority symbol on the front, why then am I now sporting a boner?

After getting his powers of flight, Black Condor decides he's not going to use his amazing new power that is super unique and totally worth two hundred years of painstaking research and sacrifice for his grandfather or his grandfather's organization (called The Society, I think. Even though the building really just looked like S.T.A.R. Labs). Also, he's probably going to destroy them. The one thing I think I remember about this book is that Black Condor operates out of the New Jersey Pine Barrens. I don't remember if he battles the Jersey Devil though. He'd better! Glancing at the cover to Issue #2, I see he battles the Sky Pirate. Don't tell me you don't know who the Sky Pirate is! Because I was just going to ask you who he is and I don't want to be disappointed when you shrug and say, "Who the fuck knows?" Oh, I remembered another thing about this comic book as I was reading the part with the bad guys escaping into the Pine Barrens: Black Condor is a reluctant hero! That doesn't mean these bank robbers are going to get away with their crime. It just means Black Condor is going to punch them in the face while sighing and saying things like, "I didn't ask for this!" and "Stupid great power bringing stupid great responsibility!" Intermission time: here's a fun game from Wyler's, the company nobody remembers:

I could only find one thing wrong: the fact that this kid gives a shit about baseball.

A reluctant park ranger, bored out of his mind while lazily searching for some missing campers, hears about the bank robbers and thinks, "I'm having enough trouble today! I hope I don't get mixed up in this!" Which is completely the wrong thing to think when you're in a comic book. Idiot. He instantly gets mixed up in it.

Ugh. Empathic sense must be the worst super power for a reluctant hero.

Black Condor's empathic sense leads him to the two missing campers. They're a bickering couple that I'm sure he'd rather leave to die in the woods. But he's a hero, even if only reluctantly. So he has to help them find their way back to camp. And after doing so, that means in nine pages, Black Condor did more heroic and selfless things than the Teen Titans in one hundred and twenty issues! Maybe that's why I kept buying this series. I was super impressed by how good this guy was at his job. Black Condor stops by the Park Rangers Office to check on his friend Ned but discovers he hasn't checked in for a bit. That's because Ned was kidnapped by the bad guys because they needed his truck. The person who tells Black Condor that Ned hasn't checked in is Eileen, a woman who just ruined her underpants with her love honey. At least I'm assuming she did because look at that chest.

She's thinking of a way to accidentally suck his cock.

Look, if two people walking down the street can somehow accidentally get one person's chocolate bar in another weird idiot's open jar of peanut butter then I'm certain it's possible for a dick to accidentally get sucked in much the same way. Excuse me. I'm off to go jerk off to Reese's commercials on YouTube. BRB! Look at that picture of Eileen again. It might be another Wyler's advertisement: "Can you find the two hermit crabs hiding in Eileen's skull?" Ned's truck ran out of gas and now the bad guys are stuck in the Pine Barrens where they're terrified of being ass raped by the Jersey Devil. This comic book was written in 1992 so they didn't know it wasn't a great idea to mention rape in a comic book. Also, they didn't mention it but I'm writing about this comic as if it were 1992 so I don't know any better right now which is why I imagined they brought it up. Also if you check Wikipedia after I get around to editing it, you'll find that the Jersey Devil totally loves to rape the asses of hikers. Anyway, it was nice knowing you, people who followed me after Gail Simone reblogged my Scarab #7 review! I'm sorry I was problematic! I try so hard not to be and then WHAM, my stupid brain goes, "Hey! This is funny!" And then my brain also says, "That's not funny and even if it was, it's not funny enough to deal with the backlash, brain. Maybe say the Jersey Devil likes to give purple nurples!" But then my brain replies by saying, "Oh, go ahead! It's not like you're ever going to enter politics anyway! Besides, you once wrote that terrible story about A Dolphin's Tale 2 or 3 that's super gross!" Then my brain poked my brain with its brain finger and said, "It was not! You take that back! That was satire!" And then I lost my place and I forgot which brain was on which side so my brain just said, "Satire is dead, idiot. Even if smart people understand who you're really making fun of in the satirical piece, the stupid idiots you're making fun of will just think you're agreeing with them! It's just not fucking worth it, brain." Then my penis said, "Hey brain, have you watched a Reese's commercial while imagining the chocolate bar was a penis and the open jar of peanut butter was a butthole?" And then my brain was all, "What? That sounds awesome. I'll delete the stupid rape thing after we watch some commercials." Then I watched some commercials. So, now that I'm back from my nap, where was I?! I think I was going to do something? Oh, probably finish reading this comic book!

Oh look! They are worried about getting butt raped by the Jersey Devil! Grandmaster Comic Book Reader!

What's really weird is that nobody had even mentioned the Jersey Devil when I wrote that they were scared of it. I'm so good at reading comics! Man, I wish I was good at something that mattered! Like finger banging! The lead bad guy shoots one of the other bad guys because every story about bad guys is basically a Coen Brothers movie. Black Conder hears the gunshots and thinks, "Ned!" I wonder if Black Condor is in love with Ned? I was hoping he'd be in love with Eileen, especially after I mentioned her love honey. I sort of developed a crush on her after I imagined her soaking wet underpants. Is that weird or is that why so much fanfic exists on the Internet? Black Condor arrives to save Ned and the female hostage and the bad guys suddenly believe the Jersey Devil has arrived to do some untoward things to them! Really untoward even! Luckily it's just Black Condor, reluctant hero, and heroes don't do untoward things! Now that I've said untoward three times (four times!), I'm hoping I used it correctly. It doesn't even sound like a word anymore. Black Condor saves Ned and captures the bad guys by using his "blow up a gun with his mind" power. That's a great power if a little specific. Maybe he can do that with other things too! I don't know how that fits into the whole condor theme. Maybe I just don't know as much about condors as I thought I did. Or maybe I need to update the condor Wikipedia page: "Condors can blow up guns with their minds, if they've recently filled their belly with love honey." Black Condor #1 Rating: B. This was a really solid if a bit uninspiring start to this series. I guess I can see why I kept buying it. The guy has a great look, sleek and sexy. Plus he's heroic in the way the Teen Titans never were. And he's mysterious! The art was a bit weird at times but that weirdness also created some really striking panels. I might read it now and think it's uninspiring but putting it up against a lot of other comic books I've reviewed on this blog, it would probably be a solid A on story telling and character development alone. Plus, I mean, he stopped some baddies! I was like, "DC heroes are allowed to do that?! What a revelation!" Anyway, that's all. I'm going to go walk around Portland with an open jar of peanut butter now.

#Black Condor #DC #DC Comics #Brian Augustyn #Rags Morales

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weaselbeaselpants · 5 years

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Rewrite challenge: #10 and #19

#10 The Black Cauldron

Oh poor, poor Black Cauldron. All the “lackluster” Disney films (besides Chicken Little, that one sucks) I feel sad. Katzenberg vivisecting the film didn’t help matters, but the big problem is the world building in my eye.

Prydain feels so underpopulated in the film. I don’t remember any locations with humans in it that weren’t Horned King’s castle or the farm where Taran lives. This is a fantasy world! Where is everybody!? The world building affects our characters too because we don’t know anything about them besides them being a hero or a villain.

The Horned King is in DESPERATE need of a backstory. I’m not too big on Lord of the Rings, but I know that Sauron is connected to the One Ring which is why he’s trying to get it back and we have a pretty good idea what will happen if he gets it back and why everyone else wants it for there own. The motives the Horned King has for finding the Black Cauldron are clear: he wants to bring back an army of the dead…but…why? To rule? To fight? He mentions in the end that his army is moments away from victory. Is he just out to start a zombie apocalypse? What will having an army of the dead accomplish for him? Where’s the profit? Was this somehow explained in the book better? I don’t think so since from what I’ve read the Horned King is a composite character of two villains from the books.

My friend Amelia has the right idea of making Horned King tied to Prydain’s history. My version is a bit though. I’d rewrite the story so that he is the “dead” king whom Taran’s sword once belonged to. He sought out the Black Cauldron but it backfired and he now seeks it to bring back the army that he killed and rule again. After what’s probably been hundreds of years of exposure to black magic, he’s basically rotted from the inside out and his sanity has gone, as he’s now under the delirious impression that Prydain is just waiting to have it’s ruler back when in reality the country has moved on.

That’s another thing too! Is Prydain under-populated because of a war or something, one not specifically tied to the Horned King? That would be interesting. The rest of the world fears The Horned King of course but they don’t consider him much of a threat to their needs. Taran can be one of those people who’s more interested in being a soldier than an apprentice and pig keeper. Maybe the Horned-King-before-he-was-Horned-King started a war or conflict of it’s own centuries past and Taran and co. don’t find out until later.

You had the chance to make the Horned King a real bawss of a villain. Not a sympathetic one, just one with clearer motives and a horrible history. He could be like Sauron/Golem/The White Walkers all together but instead he’s just “the guy who’s gonna use this thing to do this other thing”.

But Horned King is at least interesting. Taran and Eilonwy are boring and it has nothing to do with them being clichéd good-guy hero kids (though I admit, a Black Cauldron starring Fflewddur does sound more unique). I kinda though Taran was gonna be more interesting cause when the film starts he’s all like “yeah I wanna fight the Horned King and be a hero” but the minute Hen-wen is stolen he remembers that he’s just a scared boy. When he finds himself in the Horned King’s castle and has to make Hen-wen use her vision he’s immediately like “I wanna go home nevermind!” I think it’d be more interesting if, once Hen-wen was safe, he was like “fts I’m going home” and wanted to nothing to do with the Horned King or the Black Cauldron but gets roped back in because Gurgi guilt trips him or something. Make him a reluctant hero who looses his wide-eyed wonder of the world but gains real confidence and strength. When he’s about to sacrifice himself to the cauldron it’s not really earned. It feels like he’s doing it because…he’s the hero.

Much as I hate Doug Walker now I remember his Disneycember from way back when mentioning how Eilonwy is a princess but of a kingdom we never see. We should really see that kingdom. There are two ways you could go with this: Make her an actual scullery maid disguised as a princess as a decoy to escort the weird light-thing away from Horned King, since that’s why he captured her in the first place – much like how Taran got roped into all this with Hen-wen; or make her the princess of Prydain and connect her with the going’s on of the outside world that don’t involve the Horned King. Like Taran, she’s also just looking to safely get away, expect once she learns of the Horned King’s whole plan and knows there’s gonna be casualties, she’s all “we gotta stop him!” and springs into action.

In both cases I think she could be a little more feisty – pissed and rage driven to be kidnapped or held prisoner for something that doesn’t even involve her. Make her a no-nonsense girl who has less tolerance for Gurgi and Fflewddur than Taran. Maybe she’s the one whose all like ‘Ima jump in the cauldron’ in the endbut Taran stops her and reminds her that she, like him, is just a kid. Also make her ball of light more connected to the overall story and world of Prydain as well. Something needs to be done with her because, as is, you can cut her out of the movie and nothing would be lost.

Also fix Gurgi’s voice. He’d be a fine character if he weren’t so hard to understand.

…that’s all I got! If it isn’t obvious I haven’t read the Prydain books to know what stuff apparently HAD to stay in despite the filmmakers already taking liberties with the source material. I don’t think I’m the right person to revamp this one as outside of Game of Thrones and Star Wars (it counts) I’m not a fan of high-end Euro-centric fantasy stories. If the movie is being remade than it better be done by someone who knows, likes, and is talented within that genre. Hire the Game of Thrones folks or someone who’s not Peter Jackson cause Peter Jackson’s lost his mind. IDK. Let poor Black Cauldron spread its wings and find it’s home rather than being a victim of cuts from a studio going through growing pains.

#19 The Book of Henry

If you’ve seen Folding Ideas video on it, you’ll know how much of a mary-sue Henry is and how badly this movie handles themes, tone, and morals. It seems like a fanfic written by a future rampage killer who doesn’t understand what about Henry’s actions are “bad”, and how NO ONE in the world has the solution to the problem except him. In a good movie, someone resorting to killing a child-predator as the only option could make a good story - it just has to have a little thing called consequences to it! No story that has implied child rape in it ends with happy goody-goody Butterfly #1 cliffnotes.

While I don’t watch him anymore, I remember Brad Jones made a really good point in his Midnight Screenings of that movie. That being: what if Henry was wrong about Glen, the adopted father. What if this was a misunderstanding and this kid was a psychopath. It would make for a good purposeful tonal whiplash. So here’s my rewrite:

Henry is the eldest, favorite child of a hands-off single mother Susan. Henry prides himself on the lie Susan tells him that he is the real provider of the house. He is mean to Susan (who takes it and says she deserves it) and lonely school cause his attitude isolates him from peers - though he thinks he’s too good for them anyway. Henry begins to grow interested in his teenage neighbor Christina after he hears her screaming in the middle of the night. He comes to believe that her step-father, Glen, is abusing Christina. He stalks the two of them and writes hundreds of notes and tapes about their house and his understanding of their living situation - that Christina’s mother is out of state and Glen is a kind of passive aggressive police chief who doesn’t get along with Christina in public.

Then Henry dies. Not by a tumor. In a freak accident.

Susan goes mad with grief while her remaining son Peter tries to cheer her up. She comes across Henry’s many notes on Glen and Christina. Susan does her own investigation and comes to the same conclusion that Henry did about Christina being abused and, through misguided encouragement from Peter, decides to kill Glen like Henry intended to do.

Glen meanwhile tries to be a good neighbor by helping the grieving Susan anyway he can. He allows her to watch Christina while he’s at work. Susan, Peter, and Christina bond it up while Susan uses their visits to plan out Glen’s murder. Christina begins to feel more confident and comfortable with herself and even agrees to drive Peter to his school talent show. That same night, Glen is home alone after a long week of work and is unaware that Susan is setting up a sniper riffle from her porch. Before she can shoot, however, Christina comes home and stops Susan in the nick of time. Glen comes out when he hears the scuffle and Susan screams about all the evidence she and Henry have stacked up against Glen and what she was going to do. Distraught, Christina runs inside crying. Glen calls the police on Susan for attempted murder and assault on a minor. As they wait for the cops, Glen tells Susan the real story Henry was not privy to:

Christina was abused - by her biological father, whom her mother is currently battling in a nasty court case. Glen has been left to care for the traumatized Christina. What Henry thought was rape one night was actually Christina having an episode in which she almost killed herself before Glen got home and stopped her. Glen fully admits to not knowing how to take care of children and that Christina wears him out, but chastises Susan for trying to “save” Christina without doing the right thing and contacting child protective services. Susan, looking deeper into Henry’s notes, finds that Henry disliked Glen after he pulled him over one night for walking alone to the grocery store - Henry was channeling his desire to kill Glen through this false-fantasy of saving Christina.

Susan goes to jail. At the court house Christina calls Susan out for only caring about her because of Henry and trivializing her abuse as a means to kill her Step-dad. She even testifies against Susan in court showing her newfound confidence and will to get through life and confesses to Glen that she’s almost grateful to Susan for inexplicably helping her heal. She also pities Susan, who now has to live with the fact that she loved Henry as an ideal son and not for what he actually was - a trait that probably led to Henry’s sociopathic behavior. Christina wishes Peter well as he’s taken into foster care and promises him that things will get better.

#I'm a bad writer giving writing advice NYAAAH #rewrite challenge #the black cauldron #the book of henry

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bakudekuficlibrary · 6 years

Text

BakuDeku: Smut One Shots Part V

52 Works.

Click here for: Part I, Part II, Part III, and Part IV!

a quick lesson by Birdschach ( E | 1,270 | 1/1 )

“Hm, so you’re sure I don’t know what I’m doing?” “Yeah. Wouldn’t fucking say it if I weren’t. Geez, such a nerd.” “So why not give me a lesson?” “T-the fuck!? A lesson!?” “Yeah. Maybe if I had an example of what was really good then I’d do better. I mean, you’d win in the end, y’know?”

[Underage]

You Can Bet On It! by SilentJo ( E | 1,801 | 1/1 )

Working at the same hero agency after high school, Midoriya and Bakugou are still as competitive as ever. Bakugou's latest punishment embarrasses Midoriya, but he has an idea on how to turn the tables as he makes another bet.

I've Loved You Always by magnificent_catastrophe ( E | 3,622 | 1/1 )

After Bakugo is rescued from the League of Villains by Midoriya and his pals, he decides he needs to have a talk with his childhood friend.

[Underage]

God You Suck by tickertocker ( E | 453 | 1/1 )

Bakugou sucking Midoriya off in a bathroom.

Happy New Year by chikanny ( E | 2,097 | 1/1 )

Something in my drafts that I finally decided to type up on my lunch at work. I'm not a writer, but it's been stuck in my head, so I thought I'd share.

The two of them spend New years together, just some mindless smut. Let's just go ahead and say they're aged up to their early/mid twenties.

Cake By The Ocean by homojaku ( E | 3,861 | 1/1 )

Katsuki and Izuku have Momo's beachside villa all to themselves for a week. What are they to do?

Office Sex by aprettyboy ( M | 3,468 | 1/1 )

In which Bakugou misses their anniversary date, Midoriya ignores him, and it somehow turns into office sex.

A/N:I haven't wrote smut in so long so please bare with me but,I'm actually quite proud of myself, but thank you for reading

Nut Job by Fourty_Six ( E | 2,993 | 1/1 )

Midoriya got drunk on a work night. Being completely wasted, Katsuki found him on a park bench, now he has to deal with his drunk ass boyfriend ;)

Look at me and at you and at us by guar ( E | 2,289 | 1/1 )

Midoriya and Bakugou are finally going to have sex in this new way they’ve been meaning to try for a while now. Extra extra, this just in: childhood friends have sex, call each other by childhood nicknames the whole time, and cry. And none of that is the new part.

mirror, mirror on the wall by dekuberry ( E | 1,601 | 1/1 )

He doesn’t even remember the last time they were able to spend some time alone and Katsuki missed his nerd terribly.

Yes, Sir by Backgroundkun ( E | 1,402 | 1/1 )

Kacchan gets in trouble.

[Underage]

complicated by Birdschach ( E | 949 | 1/1 )

Katsuki Bakugo is complicated, and Izuku Midoriya has come to adore the moments when they're so close he can't be complicated.

[Underage]

How Things Change by Markovia ( E | 2,460 | 1/1 )

There’s one particular memory that has always remained in Bakugou’s mind, no matter how much he’s tried to erase it. It was a long time ago, during their final school festival at U.A., cloaked by the dark of the evening. But somehow the memory is a clear as day, he can almost smell the blood from Izuku’s split lip, almost feel the adrenaline that pounded heavily through his veins. He’s still not sure if he made a mistake that day or whether he should have walked away, shouldn’t have responded.

Four A.M. by KillJoys ( E | 1,729 | 1/1 )

Izuku is horny, there is no where to go to jerk off... except Baku's empty bed.

The Heat of You by homojaku ( E | 1,163 | 1/1 )

Katsuki lets Izuku do what he wants to him, and it's a lot hotter than expected. Small NSFW drabble.

Click by Leticheecopae ( E | 1,500 | 1/1 )

Six tries, six clicks, who knows which one will make Bakugo go Boom.

[Rape/Non-Con]

To Love All of You by battle_goats ( M | 1,305 | 1/1 )

Izuku and Katsuki want a date night, so they send their daughter off on her first sleepover as the perfect excuse.

Belatedly by beebuzz ( E | 4,911 | 1/1 )

"It wasn’t a preposterous question. They’d done Things, plenty of things after years of pining and tension abruptly vanished, but never this."

The boys fumble through their first time together with a lot of uncertainty and a heavy amount of taunting.

Series Part 2 of Steadfast

i will never not think about you by nicolet ( E | 2,558 | 1/1 )

When I kiss you, flowers fall from my lips, and they're suffocating me. I know you don't love me, and yet with every breath that I take, I am still drawn to you. I cannot help myself, even as blood drips down my chin, I need you. I love you.

Won't you love me back?

(Bakugou Katsuki suffers from Hanahaki Disease, and he knows who it is that he loves. Deku, his childhood friend who has become a villain. He's a hero, he's always victorious. Yet this is a fight he cannot win.)

Taming the Fire by Lizardbows68 ( M | 921 | 1/1 )

Izuku is a little fed up with his boyfriend Bakugou's anger. He gets it taken care of and then him.

4/20 is a national holiday by Ereri_Garbage ( M | 5,697 } 1/1 )

Izuku is a drug dealer that doesn't really accept the fact he's a drug dealer, Katsuki is hot as hell as shouldn't be allowed a facebook.

Happy (Late) birthday Katsuki and happy (late) 4/20. I actually half assed an edit on this one so it took longer to post than I thought it would.

Worth the Embarrassment by Zeekcat101 ( E | 2,771 | 1/1 )

Bakugou wants Midoriya to train NOW! Midoriya doesn't even get to use the bathroom before he's being dragged away, which ends up being both a curse and a blessing.

One way or another to spend Valentine's Day by SoraeMina ( E | 5,080 | 1/1 )

It's Valentine's Day and Izuku can't wait to spend it with his boyfriend Katsuki. Unfortunately work calls and as a hero, he's not in the position to object. Furthermore, Katsuki doesn't seem to be as interested in spending Valentine's Day together as Izuku hoped he would be. At least that's what he thinks, until Katsuki proves him wrong.

No More Lonely Nights by SecretKiwi ( E | 2,803 | 1/1 )

Izuku longs for when he can see his boyfriend on a much more regular basis, and Katsuki finds the solution to their problem.

My gift to you by TsunaidaMay ( E | 1,442 | 1/1 )

Beta Deku always gives Omega Kacchan what he needs, but never taking the one thing he wants the most, until Kacchan gives it to him.

Headache by Helalo ( M | 591 | 1/1 )

Bakugo hits his head, Midoriya tends to it.

An Unexpected Situation by badmachine35 ( E | 2,578 | 1/1 )

ok so basically this is poorly-written smut with a power bottom aggressive katsuki for my personal needs,i apologize for any mistakes (there are probs hella lot of these) in advance,hope at least someone enjoys it lmao.first time posting such a fic,i don't write that much usually:3

[Underage]

Choke by mahaute ( E | 1,144 | 1/1 )

Bakugou fuck his boyfriend throat until he puke. That's it. That's the fic. Written for the BNHA kink meme

until our strength is gone by peredhils ( M | 622 | 1/1 )

Bakugou tries to think of things he’d felt that were softer than Midoriya’s skin, the softness around his hips that molds between his fingers when he squeezes. The blooms of a grey sallow, Midoriya’s warm comforter, his favorite sweater—they all pale in comparison. They might as well have been sandpaper. He runs his hand up Midoriya’s sides and feels his tremor move through his body from his chest to his thighs.

—Bakugou and Midoriya spend a morning in bed together.

Vulnerability by LunaaHawke ( M | 4,278 | 1/1 )

Izuku closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, obviously trying to gather his thoughts. Bakugou isn't angry at Deku, not really. He's more angry at himself.

For being weak. Useless. A burden.

Like always.

"I don't think you're weak, Kacchan."

The statement is said quietly - like a gentle brush of a feather-light caress across Bakugou's heart. Bakugou turns his eyes back to Izuku and Izuku is looking at him with a look of such timid tenderness that Bakugou feels his knees go weak. It's moments like these - when they're alone, without anyone else around - that makes Bakugou love Deku most. He'd never admit it to anyone, but he loves him.

Loves him so much it hurts.

One's true feeling by SoraeMina ( E | 3,893 | 1/1 )

After fighting a villain with the ability to poisen people and loosing, Katsuki finds himself in his bed and out of some reason Deku is in his room too. And somehow, this time around, he cannot hide his true feelings. Besides, it seems like the drug has an interesting side-effect.

[Underage]

If you wanna fuck me I won't say no by EctoYasai ( E | 3,253 | 1/1 )

Bakugou pasa una tarde en casa de Midoriya obligado por su madre. Puede que la idea sea mejor de lo que suena... / One-Shot / R-18 / Katsuki Bakugou Pasivo.

Kitty's Milk by Fangirlrose ( E | 4,377 | 1/1 )

This is just something my unnamed friend and I wrote for fun, inspired by the relationship of Zero (Katsuki) and Deku (Izuku) as portrayed by the @the-wonder-duo tumblr. It's set shortly after the Duo finally get together.

Out in the Open by Purplemerald ( Not Rated | 2,786 | 1/1 )

A quirk that intensifies people's emotions towards another made both Izuku and Katsuki in trouble.

Feeling of simple hate will turn deadly. Love into possessiveness.

But how about our wonder duo? Their complicated feelings will be out in the open and will soon open each other up.

Be still my beating heart by DemonufSans ( M | 1,095 | 1/1 )

I told myself that I should put it in a box so I did but it’s hard to lock those emotions away in the smallest box and my heart

Series Part 1 of My hero Academia fanfic and Request

[Underage]

lazy morning ( E | 1,475 | 1/1 )

BakuDeku Week, Día #2: Cotton Candy / Childhood / Sloth

Lograr que Bakugou Katsuki saliese de la cama durante sus días libres era una tarea muy complicada.

Happy Birthday Deku! by LionellLim ( M | 3,566 | 1/1 )

15th of July was the day of our hero special day but can he celebrate it with his lover without getting interrupted with his work?

Series Part 4 of Katsudeku compilation of one shot

She's in Love With the World by babypinklips ( Not Rated | 1,528 | 1/1 )

Prequel of I Fell in Love With a Girl. Bakugou gives Midoriya a boob-job.

Series Part 2 of Once and Almost Completely

Oniros by Kaith_Jackson ( M | 1,165 | 1/1 )

Y ahí está Deku. Acostado, inmóvil, con sus ojos verdes esmeralda brillando en la oscuridad absoluta, con su cara de imbécil redomado y ese cuerpo diminuto que tantas ganas le daban de golpear hasta que sangrase por los cuatro costados. Pero no lo hace. No ahí. Ese lugar era el único que está libre de golpes, de cortes, de insultos. En ese espacio están a salvo los dos.

Fic escrito antes de la segunda temporada.

[Graphic Depictions of Violence]

8 by Fearthepoptarts ( M | 523 | 1/1 )

they better make the most of it

Series Part 1 of Bakudeku song fics

kiss me, kiss me, kill me ( E | 946 | 1/1 )

BakuDeku Week, Día #7: Popsicles / One More Night / Lust

"Si fuese a ser asesinado por ti, eso tampoco sería tan malo."

[Major Character Death]

random #4 by Calico_Neko ( M | 268 | 1/1 )

Katsuki sudah kebelet...

Series Part 25 of FAVONE

Один и три комплекта by Juri_terminator ( M | 1,202 | 1/1 )

Мидория и Бакуго пытаются нормально разговаривать, и вдалеке неутомимо сияет улыбка Всесильного.

[Underage]

Ace Problems by Maaiika ( E | 2,157 | 1/1 )

Kacchan ist ace. Das findet er gar nicht gut. Zusammen mit Deku geht er auf Problemlösungssuche.

DRIP by Smut_Poet ( M | 83 | 1/1 )

Inspired by FeelsLikeFire ‘s chapter 3 of Vicious

Midoriya and Bakugou.... is it hatred, admiration, or lustful thoughts?

A day like any other.... by Smut_Poet ( M | 115 | 1/1 )

For my girl, FeelsLikeFire's birthday!!! a little of this a little of that... spicy poetry based story-telling of young love or hate, depending on who you talk to. Midoriya and Bakugou.... is it hatred, admiration, or no lustful thoughts?

【出勝】病從口入 by lovetitle ( E | 432 | 1/1 )

[Rape/Non-Con]

Victima by Explodocat ( M | 2,239 | 1/1 )

Сделать Богу больно.

[Rape/Non-Con]

Как море by Explodocat ( M | 2,350 | 1/1 )

Чем еще заниматься на каникулах на пляже.

【出勝】Train of Thoughts by tenpastfour ( E | 170 | 1/1 )

大概就是兩個人做愛時想東想西的故事。

Smoke by Explodocat ( M | 2,128 | 1/1 )

Не воздух. Дым.

Unabashed by Nereisi ( E | 2,831 | 1/1 )

Katsuki torna a casa con delle calze, pronto all'azione. Izuku è più che felice di dargli quello che vuole.

#BakuDeku #KatsuDeku #BNHA #Masterlist #bkdkfl masterlist #g:smut #ws:os #ws:complete #w:underage #w:rape #w:violence #w:mcd #long post #curator ellie

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bendixreblogs · 3 years

Text

A little trip down memory lane about my comic and what I’ve been through in the process of making it.

Mentions of suicide, death-threats, grooming, PTSD.

I'm so glad that I'm finally having so much fun making my comic. Every time I open my comic files, I'm just so full of joy and energy and I enjoy writing and exploring the world and my characters.

For so many years the experience of looking at my characters and trying to delve into the story, was poisoned by past experiences by people I shared it with. At the time, it seemed like the only way I *could* share it, and I’m glad I’m almost able to separate those experiences now.

SO, I have PTSD and sometimes I’m pushed back into old memories and my characters have been such a huge part of those exact memories, that they sort of go hand in hand, and sometimes it’s nice to just get those thoughts out of my head because they take up a lot of space.

These characters have been through so much with me and I’m just glad I didn’t abandon them despite of it. I created them when I was 12 and I had a couple of friends and classmates who was into manga like me, who was into my story and encouraged me to keep working on it!

I then got a friend who was two grades above me, I was 14/15 and they were so into the story that I was just overjoyed to share it with them, especially because they could draw and she started drawing my characters. At the time I had just moved school because I was severely bullied at my old one, and making friends was still very new to me so I latched unto her. In the end she wasn’t a very good friend and would threaten to kill herself and me if I didn’t hang out with her, she faked to faint whenever I was talking to someone else but her, so I had to take care of her, and on my 16th birthday, she faked to faint again and woke up as my character, Kain. She pretended for the entire day that she was Kain, I was so worried and horrified and fearful that it was real and that she would faint again, that I didn’t dare to leave her side and talk to my other friends (just as she wanted) and I couldn’t eat for the next two days, because she kept the act going for two days straight. She pretended to also wake up as the villain of the story which was Satan (I was 12 when I came up with this story, sssh) and threatened to kill me again if I tried to stop her or tell anyone that this was happening.

She did a bunch of other stuff besides this and I ended up breaking contact with her completely a year or so after because my parents had continuously urged me to stop talking to her. In the end one of my very good friends told me that they couldn’t handle looking at me anymore because I was a wreck because of her. I had to tell her that I would call the police if she got near me, for her to stop talking to me.

I very rarely drew my characters after that and ended up joining an rp group on deviantart for the first time when I was 17/18, and was instantly pulled into it - the cool people in the group were about 20+ and I wanted so bad to impress them and fit in, but I wasn’t nearly as out there as everyone else was when it came to rp’ing smut. I was honestly repulsed by it, and I tried to laugh it off when people tried to force my character together with someone else in the group, and I ended up going along with it because I didn’t dare to say no. At one point in a Skype group chat, two of the people in the chat had rp’d very hardcore porn that I woke up to reading mid-way and they told me that they did it on purpose, to shock me, and I knew then that if I wanted to fit in, this is what I had to do. I had to write about the same things as them, or not be a part of the group. I tried initiating it when I could because I genuinely thought I had to and I kept pushing my own boundaries. During this time, I was also rp’ing with my rl friends from cosplay groups, with my OC’s from my story. At the time I had given up on ever turning it into a comic, but I still wanted to do something with the characters, so I tried rp’ing with them and ofc, with loads of shipping, because that had become the norm. Especially in the cosplay community were everyone was yelling “YAOI” “RAPE” and “GLOMP” at everyone and *everything*. I was once tackled at a convention where someone yelled ‘rape’ at me and tried to pull my clothes off because I was one of their favourite characters and I had no idea how to get them off until they eventually ran off on their own, and no one did anything because everyone thought it was the norm and so I didn’t say anything and slotted that into the “I guess this is normal” box, along with everything else.

Eventually, in the rp group, everyone began to call me a whore behind my back, which I found out because one of my friends in the group actually came to tell me about it and I felt disgusting, dirty and shameful, like I had misunderstood something or I was genuinely just a gross person through and through. I still have a lot of fond memories from those groups, and I don’t think anyone pushed me into smut-writing deliberately or with ill intent, it felt like everyone were sort of playing along with the same “this is the norm” idea. Especially the events that were hosted were super fun, so it thankfully it wasn’t all bad and I still chat to some of the people from those groups.

I quit the rp groups all at once and instead just rp’d with a single friend at the time, both our own characters and established franchises. At the time, there was an incredibly popular artist on dA, who happened to be danish and who was attending a danish convention for the first time. Another friend of mine, who was a huge fan of her, invited her to her sweet 16 and she said yes to come along. This artist was around 27 at the time. I was at the party too, turning 18 that year, and she commented on how special and pretty my face was and that she found it so unique she had to walk around me to see it from all angles. We became friends and I suggested we do an art-collab. I drew my character Kain hugging someone because I thought hey, that’s kinda cute and I had hoped she would draw someone else hugging him back. She drew her paedophilic priest hugging him back, licking his lips and ready to rape him.

I didn’t dare to say anything despite how uncomfortable it made me, and it was another instance of - well shit, this is just how it is apparently - and I went along with it. She told me stuff like we were fated to meet and that we both had to meet five people in every lifetime we ever live, and once we’ve met those five people, we would both die. I had apparently met about three of them, so guess how terrified I was to meet the remaining two. I felt like I depended on her and that we were connected because of the things she said, and my mental health derailed completely. We also mashed our characters together, and I offered to bend and twist my characters until they fit the likes and dislikes of hers because at this point, it meant so much to me what she thought of me and my art that I didn’t care about anything else.

She encouraged her followers to write smutty fanfics about *us* together, which I for once told her I didn’t like, but she laughed it off and kept encouraging them.

I lost my irl friend during this as well because I was convinced to stop writing to her, because this artist always showed interest in me and always wrote to me every single day, but my other friend didn’t, and so this friend had to “prove” herself to care - “if I stopped writing to her, would she write back?” she asked. She never did and we lost contact completely, and looking back I don’t blame her for that with everything that was going on and how affected I was by this person.

I ended up cutting contact with this artist from one day to the next because I ended up feeling sick near her. I felt nauseous, scared, sick, clammy and uncomfortable and I blocked her from everything. We met briefly at a convention some time after and we exchanged a couple of dm’s on deviantart to try and reconcile where I was honest and told her I couldn’t stand being near her, I wasn’t sure why (at the time), but I just had to get away.

She told me the same, that I disgusted her and she couldn’t handle being near me either and she thought I should know that everyone in the cosplay community were spreading rumours like; “she’s the type of person who makes people fall in love with her, and then break their hearts”.

These experiences in particular completely soiled my relationsship to my characters. It took me a while to break away from them and sometimes, because the memories are still right there in my mind and jump out at me from time to time, I feel like they’re going to physically come back to haunt me and ruin it for everyone else as well. Because of all of this, I wasn’t able to trust that I could ever make it into a story or deserved to, like I wasn’t worthy to tell it because I felt just as used and broken and bended and twisted away from my original person as my characters. I had forced myself into fitting in with people and scenarios I wasn’t supposed to fit in with, I forced my characters into that as well, and it still takes so much mental power to tell myself that I’m not a broken person and my characters are not apart of those people anymore and neither am I.

I’m so glad I have my friends like Anja, who was there when I first created the story and she was the first to encourage me to keep working on it and she always knew the heart of it and was ready to remind me, because sometimes I’m still pushed back into old memories, I forget the heart of my story and myself and I just feel shame.

#rant #ramble #personal

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