#why does everything has to be so fucking bleak all the time

[cherish--these--times]

“They would've shipped your ass back to Kansas, where you belong. With your... With your son. 'Cause you... you sure as hell don't belong here.”

Good morning! It’s around 7am my time and I can’t help but think about the short-lived villain of the story spitting this in Ted’s face and that’s how the show about overcoming adversity ended bye.

#ted lasso spoilers #I can’t with this show #it hurts #why on earth did they think this would be satisfying #why does everything has to be so fucking bleak all the time #this is not the romcom ending we were promised #tedbecca #ted x rebecca #tagging tedbecca too because somehow this is relevant #anti ted lasso

[ambreiiigns]

i watched One wrestling (wrestledream. much to say abt it. god willing i keep watching from that episode forward) and then 4 bungo stray dogs w brother (finished s3 fucking finally my god and saw the first from s4. it was really bad) after the most fucked up week i've had in a while

#i saw kota's signed like officially full time... easy way to get a girl ready for catch up (real this time not clickbait) #bsd s3. is so bad. not that everything else's my favorite necessarely but like. it gets really bad my dudes. it was bleak #a while ago brother said he was interested in knowing more abt ranpo and s4 starts w ranpo & president centric flashbacks so i #thot he'd be happy to see that but the last few s3 episodes get So Bad they sucked all the joy out of us both good lird. it was bleak #dazai's in the hospital chuuya's in a book they're trying to pretend atsushi and akutagawa are as cool as them again... girl help. #and what's w the cat. i'm so confident it's never gonna be brought up again and it's driving me insane. i sort of knew abt the cat but #not enough to be prepared. and the timing is so bad #why did we have Three episodes abt chuuya and dazai age 15 (answer is that they're the best part of this show and they know) #then random episode where the main takeaway i got is that gin is revealed to be hot (i knew.) like complete waste of my time imo #then One episode where kyoka has to share backstory reveal w even more atsushi trauma like ?!?!?!? #i can't take much more of atsushi whining. that's all he does. from episode one. and the second kyoka has her moment we cut to #atsushi whining again i don't CARE that the guy from the orphanage is dead shut UP #like who thought this was a good idea. #and then in the last 3 shitty episodes they wanna do all that ??? #old men yaoi backstory ???? you need more time for that. hello. cat is god. huh #introduce New Evil Guy w power that seems to be super insane and he's defeated by kid wearing his boyfriend's clothes ???? #like it was too much. for nothing. not even counting all the pointless random convenient things that happen that aren't accounted for #at All #like. you're telling me atsushi can enter the cave at the speed of light and the guards can't notice him but then he can't fucking catch the #virus guy 1m away from you in a little cart. i'm going to kill everyone involved w making this anime i'm tired. i need to finish killa killa #And made in abyss. bsd s3 so bad it makes you wanna start jjk as soon as possible #anyway now let's talk abt my traumatic week #oh nay

[bahrtofane]

here we go again - pt.3

pt. 1 , pt.2

jude x fem!reader , trent x fem!reader

empty promise after another leaves you walking in the cold. alone. on valentines day. youre never speaking to another player again. or will you? can things be forgiven?

Word count - 1.9K +

Watch it - reader so sad but dw bae it gets better ! jude. Just jude. hehehe

—--

Madrid is bleak and bland when you get back, eager to find a routine, to busy yourself with anything, everything.

It's almost like there's a big joke being played on you because you're given Jude to create promotional posters for. It makes you want to cry, but you suck it up, download the pictures and get to work. Even if you have to scribble his face out the whole time.

Avoiding Jude becomes your obsession. You make it your top priority to avoid seeing him in person under any and all costs. You refuse to go anywhere near the stadium, training facilities. Blocking official accounts and avoiding tv when you know they're set to play.

You find jude everywhere. In the cracks of sidewalks where flowers bloom. Inside coffee shops when the smell of vanilla hits your face, under bridges where graffiti of smiley faces litter the concrete.��

His presence looms over the city like a specter, mocking your attempts to move on. You long for the day when his memory no longer haunts you, when you can walk through Madrid without feeling his presence at every turn.

Until then, you cling to the hope that time will heal the wounds he left behind, and that one day, you'll be able to reclaim the city as your own. But for now, Madrid remains a bleak and lonely place, haunted by the ghost of a love lost.

—-

Trent calls you about a week after you land, in the middle of your morning routine.

“How are you?”

You stifle a sigh, picking at your nails, “I'm really just peachy Trent,” padding over to your kitchen, opening the fridge.

“You know what I mean.”

You grab what you need, using your hip to close the fridge “I don't know why you keep calling me Trent. I'm fine. Tell jude to fuck off yeah?”

You hear a sigh from the other end, “jude has nothing to do with me checking up on you.”

“Sure.” you hang up. And he doesn’t call again.

—--

The office is always full of energy on match days, and you hate how it's become a tradition to all watch together. Weather in the stands or from the actual office. Your desire to show up in a barca jersey is very very strong.

Today is one day where you walk single file to the stadium and find your seats. Curse working for madrid, it brings you a little too close to the pitch for comfort. You spend half the game on your phone, even when your coworkers gently nudge your shoulder when Jude speeds to the post, you mumble something about work that needs to be done (you're on your settings.)

Jude scores, of course he does. And it's a beautiful goal, straight power, nothing but net. You're up cheering before you can stop yourself, smiling. You're smiling at Jude scoring. 

He jogs over to the crowd per usual, caught up in the adrenaline. He doesn't think he'll ever get used to scoring at home. The feeling is unbeatable. His eyes scan the crowd, and they just so happen to land on you. 

You're here? The cheers of the crowd fade out, his arms falling to his side, he's staring right at you. He's taken back to the night he left you alone. He’s a fucking idiot. You don't look away, if anything you lean forward in your seat. You're here. 

—--

Against better judgment he goes looking for you after the game. Running down hallways still in his kit, looking a mess with grass stuck all over him. At least he managed to kick his cleats off and grab the nearest slides he could find. He's pretty sure these aren't his but he doesn't care. Not right now.

He knows the staff tend to hang around after games, the issue is where.

Curse the never ending construction. The  place is a maze, an awful one without, with it feels like he's entering a different dimension at every turn.

He hears laughing and speeds down to find himself in a lounge full of people, all who rush to him to sing praises. He smiles. Trying not to get blinded by flash photography. A voice cuts through the crowd, a soft laugh. 

You're here. Oh you're here. 

He sees you tuck a piece of paper into a folder, smiling softly, patting the back of what he assumes to be a coworker as you make your way to the exit.

He tries to get past the people who surround him, but you're already gone. He's lost you again, all while you were right in front of him.

He goes home that night unable to sleep, eat, think. He blames himself, of course he does. It's his fault isn't it?

Somewhere during his night routine he thinks that there's an ounce of hope to fix this. 

He calls trent. 

“I don't know man.” Trent mumbles on the other end. 

“I gotta at least try right?” 

There's a beat of silence that lasts a moment too long, “if that's what you want.”

Jude thanks him for his time anyway. Tucking himself into bed. 

He scrolls through instagram on his burner account, finding your account again. The request button taunts him, but he knows you wont accept. Instead clicking on your profile picture, watching it take up his screen and he sighs. He really has to get his life together doesn't he.

—--

The next time Jude sees you is at an event. Black tie in a nearby hotel. He misses getting ready with you for these, with all your products and accessories lining his sink while he watched you fondly.

“Do I look okay?” you would ask each time, leaning a hand on the sink while the other smoothed down the creases on your dress. Doing a once over in his mirror.

He would hum softly, pressing a kiss to your shoulder, “you look amazing.”

You'd blush, swatting him away playfully. Pressing a kiss to his cheek and promising to see him there.

The same mirror now stares back at him cooly. His sink is empty, as his house is. He misses the smell of your perfume, your clothes that littered his space. He misses how you made it a home.

He sees you there all the same, mingling with your coworkers. You look amazing, that hasn't changed. The dark circles under your eyes have, two purple half moons stamped rather aggressively on your skin. How long has it been since you got proper nights rest jeez.

He makes his rounds to everyone. Brand ambassadors, staff, teammates, a list of high profile people he doesn't care to repeat. He leaves your little corner last on purpose. He doesn't want anything to get in the way.

He slides over to where you hug a glass of water to your chest, nodding along to something a man in a blue suit is saying. Pfft blue what a rookie choice. Jude is in all black, did you notice? It was your favorite on him.

You did notice, and try to suppress the desire to hurl when he walks over to you. 

Jude gets to say no more than a sloppy greeting in Spanish before he's grabbed by the arm and taken back to where he thinks the owner of the hotel is standing.

You sigh in relief, and he sighs in frustration.

Fate has driven you apart once more it seems.

—--

Jude is a stubborn stubborn man. You can't seem to outrun him, no matter how many calls and texts you ignore, or block his accounts. Nor how you manage to slip out from right in front of him. Fate is on his side today it seems.

He shows up to your office, flowers in hand. Your favorite flowers, tied neatly with a ribbon of your favorite color, a card neatly tucked under the petals. 

Your coworkers are in uttersock, not even trying to hide their surprise as he marches over to your desk.

You type faster, ignoring him, or trying to. The gazes on you burn, almost as much as they did on the night he left you to rot. Why is he here?

“Hey,” he tries, meekly. He wants to punch himself in the face. Hey? Really? 

You don't look up from your monitor, opening more tabs, swiping your mouse against your desk furiously. You think the battery just fell out.

“Listen, I know I'm horrible, a piece of shit, the worst man alive, I don't deserve you in the slightless. But I love you.” he scrambled out in one breath.

You whip your head up at him,”love? You love me so much you took me to a club on valentines day?”

He winces, “it was so stupid. I'm so stupid. Please, let me make it up to you.” he pleads. 

You sigh, throwing your head back in your chair, rolling your eyes,”are you actually going to change Jude. Are you going to stop this nonsense and treat me like you actually mean what you say?”

“Yes,” he nods furiously, “I promise. Not a day will go by without me proving it to you, I swear.”

You look back at him. He's worn your favorite cologne, the sweater you used to always steal on cold nights. The flowers are beautiful. You missed him, you missed him so much, to the point that you're really considering it. 

Someone coughs in the cubicle next to you and you groan, gathering your things and hastily walking to the door, motioning for Jude to follow.

He looks like a newborn puppy, almost tripping on his feet while he follows you through hallways and corridors till you reach a stairwell you know for certain no one will walk through.

“Jude, I hope you know what you did broke me, it really broke me. I think you ruined my ego, permanently.”

He nods, leaning on the railing while he clutches the bouquet with so much force you're scared they're going to be wrung like a wet rag. 

“But,” you raise a finger to him, “ and this is a big big but, if you can prove these things instead of saying them, i'll consider giving you another proper chance okay?”

You see the tension visibly ease from his shoulders as he sighs softly, “Okay, yes, thank you. Thank you so much,” he brings the flowers forward, waiting for you to take them.

And you do, gently picking the note from the petals, you'll read this when you get home.

“I uh also, booked a dinner of your favorite place in a few days, in case you were willing to give me another chance i didn't want to mess it up again and if you don't have anything else going on and i just-” you take his hand in yours, stopping his ramblings effectively as he looks away. All of a sudden so shy as if you haven't stayed at his place for days at a time.

“I'll go Jude. I'm free, don't worry.”

“Great. 7 sound good?”

“Sounds perfect. Ill see you then okay?”

“Okay,” he mumbles, soft and sweet.

With a smile you send him off, almost flying down the stairs in pure glee. You shake your head fondly, heading back to your work. The flowers weigh more than just their physical weight. The letters feel like a ton on its own.

You hope you made the right choice.

#jude x you #jude bellingham #jude bellingham x you #jude bellingham x reader #jude x reader #jude bellingham blurb #jude bellingham one shot #jude Bellingham x y/n #jude bellingham angst #trent alexander x you #trent alexander imagines #trent alexander arnold x reader #trent x reader #trent alexander arnold #taa x reader #taa imagines #taa66 #taa #bahr footy #football fanfic #footballer fic #footy fic #footballer x reader

[sleepygaymerdisease]

Does anyone else think about how Shinji said this twice...

The first time was somewhat innocent, because he didnt believe in the idea of fate. He refused the idea outright because it was just too bleak. He wanted to think that there was a way for everyone to live, so why believe in something like destiny or predetermination?

And yet... He likely said this out loud to comfort Tezuka, to motivate him, to keep him from giving into despair. Shinji does not believe in fate, but the person he is dragging out of the battle field does, and he wants Tezuka to borrow his own feelings of determination and passion for just a moment, so they can both live to see the next day.

But what Shinji doesnt understand is that Tezuka did this sacrifice precisely because of Shinji's passion. Shinji has nothing to offer to this man because Tezuka has already made the choice to purposely refuse the benefits of Shinji's savior complex. He make his choice the moment that he walked out the door of Atori, and purposely distanced himself so Shinji wouldn't try to die for someone else. Tezuka explains that he changed fate for Shinji to live. Tezuka explains that he took this man's place so that Shinji can fight in this war, so that Shinji can find an end to the violence. Tezuka wants him to continue where he would fail, where he would have blamed himself for the death of another friend and never gotten back up.

Shinji wishes there was another option, that he could have somehow seen this coming and stopped Tezuka and figured out a way to live too... But what can he really do? Tezuka's last words left such an impact on him, and while Shinji originally didn't believe in fate, he could not help but lean into the idea after Tezuka's death. He tends to weigh other people's ideas more than his own in his head, so when Tezuka dies because he followed his principles to the end like this... He just can't deny it as much as before. Denying that fate exists would be spitting on the face of his friend's choice, right?

So the idea sits with him. The idea that fate was already changed... He's not sure if he can believe it, but he can't not believe it, either. There had to have been another way that things have gone, right? That's what he wants to think, but he cannot deny the weight of Tezuka's ultimate choice. He has to learn to accept this, somehow, but it's hard for him, it's hard to remember which thoughts are his own and which thoughts are borrowed from his memories of Tezuka. Shinji slowly becomes burdened by the idea of fate. Believing in Tezuka's last hope is the only way for him to continue, it's the only way for him to cope.

And that's when the narrative throws a fucking curveball. This character, wrattled with grief, finally trying to move on from that horrible moment of senseless violence, is forcibly dragged backwards. Six months. Six entire months happening all over again right before his eyes. Shinji gets an impossible second chance to fix what never should have happened. He knows who is going to die and he has the time to prevent it. He can change it.

But he discovers that he cannot change himself. He watches everything in horror as it happens all over again because he cannot break out of his own skin. He can't change his habits, he can't think different thoughts or change his actions, he can't seem to remember the details of that future that has not happened yet. His future self, and his future grief, is buried deep inside of him. He tries to claw his way out in any way he can, but he is trapped in the prison that is himself. He can only catch the smallest glimpses of clarity through the bars of his cell, and by then it is often too late.

When Shinji finally gets back here, to this moment, he must have repeated these words. He cannot change his thoughts, after all. So he says it and it means the same thing as before; he wants to comfort Tezuka and lend him his own determination and will to live. But there is now an additional meaning to it, isn't there? There is now a layer of despair. A part of Shinji is so, so desperate for things to change. A part of him knows that Tezuka diverted fate for his sake, and isn't that diversion a part of fate now too? Can't we change that too? Do not die when fate tells you to die. Don't do this, don't leave me again.

#i wrote this in some tags a while back but im crazy and needed to elaborate and make my own post so hi whats up im normal about tv #anis gaymer moments #kamen rider #kamen rider ryuki #kamen rider ryuki spoilers #ryuki spoilers #tezushin #long post #<- SORRY JUS TREALIZED HOW LONG THE WALL OF TEXT IS

[gay4abby]

A Significant Crack in Time !!

or in which jordan has an important decision to make & fears of making the wrong choice.

warnings, fluff, angst, possible character death, au, slowish burn for Jordan n reader. pairings, Jordan Li x reaper!nameless oc x Marie Moreau. gif creds to ayoedebiris. idk how long this is, plus idk where this was going didn’t know how to end it, im not proud of it either but !

Jordan couldn’t imagine being in this current predicament. It was hazy, the memory they’re trying to remember, but there all the same. It was like trying to recall a word that’s at the tip of your tongue. A dull pain flashes through their skull, rendering them to keep in the same position they’re in since they’ve gained consciousness. The surface they were laying on was just right, it didn’t make them feel too cold or too hot. A significant temperature that almost seemed impossible to attain. Their eyes were slowly opening, blinking every 5 seconds to adjust to sudden bleak haze that managed to obscure her vision. For a second they thought they’ve lost their sight with how many times they’ve had to blink just to focus their eyes.

They took in their surroundings wondering just where they are and why it was so damn foggy. “What the fuck?” they whispered. Quickly feeling uneasy, Jordan switched to their masculine form, extending their hands out in defence in case anything jumped out to attack. “Hello?” their soft yet hoarse voice rang out into the empty open space. It almost looked like…God U almost, except it’s vacant and dismal. Something out of silent hill almost. He let their guard down, defensive hands lowering with a steady pace. As if something might go wrong if he made any sudden movements. No reply was given as they began to relax, big brown eyes scanning the place. Slow steps were being taken as Jordan’s cautiousness simmered, but only for a bit.

“Fuck me, fuck where the hell am I.” he breathed out, seeing the fog of his breath as they walked further on to campus. It wasn’t cold, but still seeing that made it all the more suspicious. Jordan couldn’t decipher where they were, just that a nagging memory was chipping away at a cement wall that was threatening to crack. His doe eyes laid upon the café of the university that many of the students frequent to. But, it wasn’t as warm looking as the original, Jordan denounced. They once again seamlessly switched back to her feminine form, feeling no immediate threat. Like they were safe here.

Carefully, Jordan made their up towards the entrance, seeing a few figures lingering by inside. She was just as confused as she was when they first appeared in this place. They stayed outside, hand slightly hovering over the door handle that seemed to be frozen over. And yet, they still weren’t cold. As she peered inside, the people (if you can consider them that?) seemed as though they had no care in the world. Most were drinking coffee and reading the newspaper, others were devouring pastries that even made Jordan’s stomach turn. She couldn’t fathom digesting something so confectionery.

“You planning on going inside or are you just gonna stand there?” Jordan swore they jumped 20 feet into the air at the sudden voice behind them. It was a vehement sound, sending chills through Jordan as she quickly turned around and shifted to their male form. “Who the hell are you?” He spoke, taking in the strangers appearance. For a minute there was a moment of familiarity, but Jordan has never seen you in his entire life before. So why did they feel so familiar? “I don’t think that’s really important now. You going in or what?”

Jordan didn’t know whether to defend themselves or walk into the café like nothing’s wrong. When everything is wrong because he doesn’t know where the fuck he is! “Where the hell am I?” He spat at her which didn’t seem to affect them at all. The stranger looked serene, as if they weren’t in a universe that held absolutely no one besides the few who look lost inside the café. “Well, that’s for you to decide. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have customers to attend to.” Moving out of Jordan’s way, you made your way inside leaving them more befuddled than when they came in. He turned around and followed your movements as you disappeared behind the counter.

Harbouring the feeling that there’s no immediate threat, Jordan shifts back to their female form, bracing themselves before walking inside of the rather vacant establishment. Jordan looked around at everyone she saw and concluded on one thing, they all looked content where they currently were. Which confused her to no end, how come no one was talking about how off everything is? But that also most of the people here were other Supes who she hasn’t seen since sophomore year. Supes she thought left and never returned.

“Would you like to order something while you wait?” The same voice rang through the otherwise desolate café. Jordan turned around with a bewildered expression on their face. Wait for what? “What do you mean?” Your hands settled on the counter. “You ask a lot of questions.”

“Well, yes! That tends to happen when you have no idea where you fucking are.”

You chuckled, turning around to grab a mug and begin brewing a concoction Jordan didn’t seem to keen on trying. It only took a few moments before she turned around again with a steaming cup of cappuccino. You pushed the cup towards Jordan, cocking your head to the side to show them where to sit. “I’ll be with you in a moment,” you summarised before turning your attention to someone standing behind Jordan. They turned around to see someone they never expected to lay eyes on again.

“Dusty?!”

“Hey, man. Long time no see.”

“Last time I saw you were burned to bits! How the fuck are you here?” Jordan followed his movements, moving to the side as he took ahold of the mug that was freshly brewed right after Jordan’s drink. How the fuck did you do that so fast? “Dude, I got sent here because I died. Seems like you’re in the same boat. Or close to it anyway.” He walked off, taking a seat near the window to look at god knows what considering there’s shit out there. Jordan looked back at the mug patiently waiting to be picked up and devoured. Then it hit them. “I’m fucking dead?” She whispered. “Yeah…you are.”

Jordan looked up, tears welling up in their eyes as they began to shake their head. “No, no, no, no. You’re lying. I didn’t fucking die. I’m alive. What the fuck. You’re fucking lying. Stop lying to me! Stop it! Stop fucking lying to me!” They yelled, immediately pushing forth energy blasts that would have knocked over the woman, but you were still standing, unmoving in her place behind the counter. Was that the memory that was trying to break through? Of them dying? How could they not know they were dead?

“Are you done?”

“What the fuck!”

“Take a seat, Jordan, drink this. And I’ll explain everything.” You said calmly. The way you spoke to them made the twisting and turning in their chest settle just a bit. How the fuck did she do that? Jordan picked up the cup, eyeing it with uncertainty. She took a deep breath, bringing the cup to her pink lips; one sip was all it took before they downed the entire thing. Jordan slammed the cup on the counter, sending the woman a scowl before making their way to the seat on the other side of the café next to the window.

You followed, sighing quietly. You always got people like this pass through, not ever knowing what happened to them or why they’re even there in the first place. It’s not unusual to see someone have a mental breakdown about finding out they’re in fucking limbo. “Tell me what the fuck is going on.” Jordan was angry and you can tell from the firmness of their voice to the furrowed eyebrows wrinkling up their delicate forehead. “Are you calm?”

“Listen–”

“I will not explain anything unless you calm down.” Jordan took a deep breath before slouching back into the booth seat. “Thank you. Now, it’s a good thing you know someone here or else this probably would’ve went a completely different way.” You laughed, quickly coming to a halt at the sight of their face. “Right, so. You’re Jordan Li. Indestructible. Invincible. And yet, here you are in limbo.”

“LIMBO?”

“You died, Jordan. It’s as simple as that. Well, you’re actually on the brink of death. No pun intended. Sorry about your mentor.”

“Thanks…I guess. Wait, what do you mean brink of death? I’m not dead yet?” Jordan couldn’t get a grasp on what was going on. All she knew was that she needed to get the hell out of there knowing she’s not fully dead yet. “Yes. Precisely. You have the opportunity to go back, to stay here or to just let it all go.”

“To go back?” You could tell Jordan was getting even more confused than they were before. “I–where,” Jordan could not form a proper sentence to respond to this new found information. “Do you know how I died?” You shake your head no. Jordan sighs, running their small hands over their face. “That answer doesn’t usually come to me, it’s more so of what your status is in regards to you know.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Well.”

“You’re not very good at explaining these things. And what the fuck even are you? Who are you?”

“People who usually end up in limbo have a choice to make. I gave you your options, now choose.” Jordan was at an impasse. Finding out you died was one thing, but finding out you have the choice to stay dead and move on or to go back was another. Jordan couldn’t even believe they were…would you call it dead? It didn’t seem real at all considering they’re indestructible. In their male form. Could they have been in their female form when their injuries turned worse for wear? Fuck, they got to get their memories back. It wasn’t like her at all to feel this way.

Jordan looked at you sitting in front of them, an emotionless expression on your soft features. She never got your name, they assumed it had to be something like the Ghastly Rider of the Lost Souls. Which brought her back to their original question, “What are you?” You just smiled at Jordan, folding your hands neatly on the table. “I’m someone you’ve seen, but never care to register. But if we’re being technical, I’m the bridge between your plane of existence and everything else after.”

You leaned forward, “What do you want, Jordan?” It was barely audible, but Jordan heard it all the same. The question seemed to hit a nerve that they never knew was there. What did they want? Why was this happening to them that brought her to this situation of deciding to leave those they love in despair or to live to fight another day? Or to stay in the in between of everything and find peace knowing they’ll watch others come and go. Why did it feel like the answer was right there but they could barely reach it yet? And what the fuck happened to have them end up here?

“Come. I want to show you something.” You extended out your hand as you rose from the seat, awaiting Jordan’s acceptance. And they knew now to not even fight it. She grabbed on to your hand and before they knew it they were before a pensive, unable to describe the rest of her surroundings. “Where–” Jordan began but stopped immediately after you let go of their hand. “If I hear you ask again where you are, I’ll make the decision for you, got it?” Your smile was sickeningly sweet, but daunting at the same time. Jordan decided not to speak unless spoken to.

The pensieve floated gracefully up until it reached just below their collarbones. Jordan was fascinated by the contraption, not knowing how to react to it. They’ve never seen anything like it and wondered exactly what it was the woman wanted to show them. It was glimmering light, the shine captivating that Jordan felt themselves leaning towards it involuntarily; the sudden pull coming from nowhere. Before they could get any further, a sharp push collided against their chest, causing them to shift to their male form.

“Wait.”

“What is that?” Jordan’s breathing became hoarse, staring at the object floating in front of them. “I don’t usually do this with those who pass through here. For some reason, it’s hard to get a reading on you. That doesn’t happen often, s’why I brought you here.” You raised your finger to tap the very centre of the pensieve, ripples of water wafting back at the both of you. “Since I don’t know what the fuck happened to you, I’m gonna allow Sabine to tell us both.”

“Sabine?” Jordan looked at you with furrowed eyebrows.

“It’s what I named her when I first got her. She’s nice, she won’t bite.” You smirked at him before grabbing ahold of their neck and plunging them into the water.

Another dreading morning means another early class Jordan regrets enrolling for. It wasn’t by choice either rather their only option and if it wasn’t a requirement, god he would’ve said fuck all. Leading a day after a treacherous event as if nothing’s wrong was one of the hardest things the Supe had to do. Losing a close friend was on a whole other level of trauma; witnessing people pretending to be upset about it was absolutely jarring. They weren’t actually feeling the pain that comes with loss. That empty, aching feeling in your chest that seemed to grow deeper with each passing day. The feeling of not knowing when it’s going to be okay again. Or if it gets easier to bear.

Grief looked different on everyone, so when they showed up to class that morning not seeing Cate in her usual seat it was understandable that the blonde wanted to take some time off. Jordan didn’t blame her.

They sat through class zoning in and out so much so that they didn’t even realise class was over. Everyone was packing up to leave when he suddenly got a text from Cate saying to meet her in her dorm. Jordan all but hauled ass to straight to her quarter on campus, not stopping for anyone along the way. With haste, he was at her door quickly switching to their female form as Cate swung the door open. Her eyes were bloodshot and she was heaving, but one thing that felt off besides those was that her smile. It was crazed almost.

Her pupils were blown wide, she grabbed ahold of Jordan’s arm and yanked her inside. “I’m so glad you’re here! You got here quick,” she breathed out, walking to stand in the middle of her dorm room, Jordan slowly approaching. “I mean…yeah. You said to come and with everything…”

“Yeah I know, but that’s not why I called you here.” Jordan was beginning to really notice Cate. She was dishevelled, clothes looked pulled at almost as if she was doing hard labour. Eyes erratic, breathing slightly heavy but it seemed to be calming down. “Is everything alright, Cate?” Jordan whispered as she stepped closer. She put her hands on Cate’s arms, gently stroking them as she looked at her with a sympathetic expression. It annoyed Cate to no end that she was being looked at like that, but there was no time to react to that right now.

“Yes, I’m fine. More than fine, actually…I need to tell you something,” she leaned closer to Jordan, grabbing ahold of their arms too squeezing gently. Jordan didn’t like how this was beginning to make her feel. She can’t remember the last time Cate almost fell off her hinges, but it for sure definitely happened. Luke was there to console her after they got caught up with something for Brink, but was immediately there after the fact. She can’t help but worry if Luke’s death was sending her through another spiral again.

“You have to promise me you can’t get mad.” That made Jordan’s heart drop. “What the fuck, Cate…”

“Promise me!”

Jordan hesitated before slowly nodding, “Yeah. I promise. Fuck.” Cate smiled once more and it made Jordan even more uneasy than they already were. She left go of Jordan, turning back in a hurry to grab her phone. She frantically typing away on the screen when she turned around, her breathing becoming erratic again. “Luke’s death was no accident. I’ve been trying to figure out exactly what could’ve made him do that, you know? It didn’t seem like him. To…to just kill himself. Not my Luke, you know?”

“Yes, I know.”

“Right. So, I did some digging and I found out that Brink’s death and Luke’s are connected. In fact, there’s even a witness. Fucking Marie Moreau. That freshman we hung out with, can you believe that?

“Anyway. Turns out his brother’s alive and they’ve kept Luke in the dark about it. He killed Brink because of this. Because they were torturing his brother…underneath this fucking school. He wasn’t the only one either. And Shetty’s…she’s behind all of this. Look, I got her to tell me everything,” she pulled up a video of Shetty confessing exactly everything she just told Jordan, they watching with horror, “She’s been experimenting on fucking Supes to figure out a way to kill us all, Jordan.

“But she’s not going to do that because I’m going to kill her and everyone else apart of this.” Cate put her phone away looking at Jordan as her eyes grew wider than they can possibly go. The blood around her cornea spread further, waiting expectantly for Jordan to agree with her so they can get this going. She was at a standstill, though. On one hand, she couldn’t let Cate commit mass murder but Shetty’s confession made them crossed of wanting to make them pay. But Jordan knew they couldn’t do that, especially risking the lives of innocents who could be caught in the crossfire.

Jordan shook her head, “No, Cate. I won’t let you do that. Are you fucking insane? Do you hear yourself, kill Shetty? We’d be no better than them.” Cate was not expecting that answer and the annoyance she felt from earlier slowly seeped back turning into anger. Her breathing became heavy again and she found herself reaching out to touch Jordan, but before she even had the chance an energy blast sent her flying hitting the window behind her and falling against the floor with a loud thud.

She groaned, making her way up from the ground, “Do not make me fight you, Cate.”

“I’m not making you do anything, I just want you to see reason! Why we need to stop them before they stop us!” She charged towards Jordan again before she shifted to his male form knocking her on the side of her head with his fist which sent her to the ground. Blood seeped from where the blow was met, but still she got up. All the commotion had the door bursting open, Marie on the other side. It caused Jordan to turn around giving Cate the distraction she desperately needed.

“Marie! She’s trying to–” Jordan couldn’t finish his sentence before he collapsed to the ground. The last thing he heard was a loud scream, from which girl they did know.

Jordan was thrown back from the pensieve, switching to their female form immediately. Their breathing was staggered, tears filling up their sockets as she looked over at you. “Did, what– what happened?” She spoke softly, the tears escaping as she shook their head. “I don’t…I don’t remember any of that. What Luke’s brother never died, what? What the fuck did you show me!”

“I only showed you what you refused to remember.”

“You fucking planted that in my head, you psycho–” Before Jordan could even finish their sentence, their mouths were sealed shut by you an evident frown slowly making its way on to your features. “You keep denying what’s right in front of you is only going to delay your decision, which will then be made for you.” You lowered your fingers which caused her mouth to unseal, small hands balling up into fists as Jordan steadied their breathing.

“So, what now? What does it mean?” You studied Jordan for a moment finally seeing and realising how vulnerable they are. You waved your hand nonchalantly, casting away the pensieve before you grabbed their hand again and within a blink of an eye, you both were back at the café. Dusty was gone Jordan noticed and it made her wonder did he move on? “It means you have a decision to make. Like I said, you either stay, let it go or move on.”

“What if I don’t know what to do?” Jordan said it so timidly it made your heart crack just a little. You never really got emotional over passers, most just being an afterthought, but Jordan…with Jordan it was different. You felt the need to hold their hand every step of the way.

“When you were conscious, on any general day, what did you feel like?”

It took a moment for Jordan to answer because she felt a lot of things. There was always a battle going on in their heads about anything and nothing. Jordan suffered from severe anxiety, but was able to mask it so well it became second nature. The question kept replaying in Jordan’s head, “I felt like I was going. Like auto pilot, prioritising things like rankings, engagement, and follows. Just overall exposure. To show that I’m the best.”

“To show you’re good enough?”

“Yes.”

You sighed, pulling Jordan to the seat you both preoccupied before this time sitting next to each other rather than across. Jordan was confused but let you manoeuvre them however way you wanted to. Sitting this close to you made Jordan realise that you carry a halo of comfort around you, no matter how snarky and pensive you can get. Always thinking but she assumed that was part of the job.

But, up close and personal it felt like a whole other reality. “I think your reason is because if you decide to go back, you’re not sure if you can come back from such a takedown as the one Cate gave you. And that’s understandable, I don’t think anyone can truly heal from that sort of trauma.

“You’re what, 180 when you’re a guy? Or does the weight just stay the same…” You extended your arms out to question with your shoulders raised slightly, head turned to a 40 degree angle with your eyes still on them. Jordan gave you a bored look with a slight head tilt.

“It stays the same!” You put your hands up in defence. “I understand.” Jordan shook her head, leaning back against the booth seat. She began looking worse for wear, the reality that they might never even come back is daunting on them slowly. And considering the idea of not returning was something on their mind, it scared them a little at just how much they actually loved life. You watched them with curious eyes as she remained silent. Like they were assessing everything over in their heads.

Jordan really want to think about this, but they felt like she didn’t have much time. “What if I go back and I can’t do anything about what’s happening? What if I can’t realise that there’s more taxing and important things going on besides whatever battle I created for myself in my head?”

“Jordan, you coming to the realisation alone should be enough of a push to be the person you actually want to be.” You placed your hand over theirs that was laid on top of the table. To you, Jordan felt warm and to Jordan, you felt cold, a comforting cold that helps you fall asleep easier in a dark room. She didn’t know how to feel about this, but she knew it wasn’t anything malicious or negative, but it was still strange. They didn’t move their hand away. “But what if it’s not enough? What if I’m too stubborn to realise that this isn’t something I want and I can do something–” Before Jordan could even finish the last sentence, you sealed their mouth shut once more.

Jordan sighed through their nose, irritated at being silenced again. But in this case, they understood after realising what they were saying. The constant what if’s is exactly why Jordan always felt the need to second guess themselves. No matter how sure of themselves they are, there was always a small voice in the deepest corner of their psyche, telling her the most obscene things. These are things that they began to believe over time. She never told anyone either. She always felt like they were alone.

Their mouth suddenly opened, you leaning back after looking at Jordan expectantly. “I get it now.” You let out a relief sigh, “I just…don’t want to do this alone. I don’t know what it’s going to be like if I do this alone.”

“You don’t have to do it alone if you don’t want to. You’ll have help. You’ll have someone there every step of the way. I know this.”

“How do you know?” Jordan looked at you, eyebrows raised in question. You sat unmoving, just blinking. It began to grow dark around the both of you, everything just fading away slowly. It brought Jordan unease, big brown eyes flittering around, heartbeat picking up. “What the fuck is happening?” She couldn’t see you clearly anymore, a silhouette in replacement of where your physical body used to be. Jordan began hyperventilating when they couldn’t see a thing anymore. “Hello! Fuck, can anyone hear me? Hello!”

The EKG began beeping rapidly, Marie already on high alert as she sat next to the bed that held a distraught Jordan. Their eyes were still closed but she could see their eyes moving vigorously underneath the lids. She leaned over, gently placing her hand on their arm, “Jordan…Jordan, hey. I’m here. It’s okay, I’m here,” she almost whispered, her hand stroking their arm. Jordan’s eyes opened frantically, jumping up from the laying position he was in turning every which way.

“Hey, you’re okay. You’re here. Thank god, you’re awake!” Marie exclaimed, practically jumping into Jordan’s arms. The door burst open and in came the doctor that was assigned to Jordan. “You’re awake!”

“He’s awake,” Marie couldn’t stop herself from smiling. “What…what happened?” The doctor walked over to the other side of Jordan’s bed, examining his vitals as he began to explain. “You were in a coma for three weeks, Mr Li. We weren’t sure how long it’ll be before you awoke again.” The length of time shocked Jordan to their very core. How has it been three weeks? All that transpired three weeks ago and it felt like it happened in a matter of seconds. Jordan was in disbelief, he couldn’t fathom this from any point in time. His eyes flittered to Marie’s wide ones, her hand grasping theirs as she squeezed it gently. He squeezed it back. “We’ll have to keep for the next two days to monitor your progress, but everything here looks good. Just remember to stay hydrated after you’re discharged.”

Jordan nodded at the words, but didn’t bother taking any of it in. Three weeks? Three fucking weeks and it felt like you and them were just together for mere minutes. It all came flooding back to him in no time and he looked at Marie again, mouth open but nothing coming out. “It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything what you went through was tough. Cate’s…she’s under surveillance. If you could even call it that. But she’s not coming around any time soon.”

“What happened while I was out?” Marie sighed at the question. She didn’t exactly know how to explain it. Cate didn’t receive any sort of repercussions. After she terrorised the school, she went after Supes who didn’t agree with her and that’s when they began taking everything seriously. Andre was killed (by his own power no less), Sam was captured alongside Cate but were sent to different correctional facilities as to prevent any tyranny. Government involvement meant there were restrictions cracked down on Supes who were and weren’t apart of the sudden uprising.

There was so much more and Marie didn’t even know where to start. “It’s a lot, Jordan.”

Jordan was released two days later, Marie at her side as they walked towards the car waiting for the both of them. They were healed, physically, but mentally…Jordan just wondered what got them back here in the first place. She doesn’t exactly remember making a decision and it wasn’t something she was willing to discuss with Marie just yet. Marie eyed Jordan with worry, she knew something was off by their body language but didn’t want to intrude. It was killing her not to say anything, but knowing Jordan she’ll come around eventually.

“Finally! The comatose vegetable is ripe!”

“Emma, what?”

“I don’t know. I just missed you, Jordy,” the smaller girl’s voice pitched up a bit as she wrapped her arms around Jordan’s torso, squeezing with all her might to convey the amount of yearning Emma had for her presence. The two grew closer from their first meeting to now and Jordan couldn’t help but feel their heart grow in size at Emma’s affection. “I missed you too, Little Cricket.” The hug was cut after she had said that. If looks could kill, Jordan would be dead…again?

They were all about to pile in the car, a conversation being had between Marie and Emma as she hopped into the drivers seat. Jordan turned their head up becoming immediately frigid at the sight in front of her. She didn’t even know you were fucking real, let alone existed on this plane of reality? Is that what you call it? Their name was faintly being called but that was a mile away, she didn’t even feel her feet move until she stood in front of you.

“It’s you. It’s fucking you,” they started before continuing. “What the fuck are you doing here?” You shut the car door, the locking sound engaging. “I’m visiting my grandmot–”

“No, I mean here. This plane of existence. In my world. I thought you were a fucking bridge or something.” Jordan was intimidated by your demeanour, the lean against the car, the foot over the other and you looked calm as ever. Just like limbo and it pissed Jordan off to no end. “I also said I was someone you don’t even pay attention to.” The softened expression on Jordan’s face matched how they felt. They completely mistook what was said at your first meeting and it didn’t even occur to Jordan that you meant face to face. In real time. In reality.

“Who the fuck are they talking to?”

“Beats me.”

“They don’t look a little familiar to you?” Marie shook her head, tilting it a bit before she carried herself over to them. Not that it mattered. Jordan could talk to anyone they wanted, right? They weren’t exclusive or anything. “That’s your Supe power? That’s what Compound V fucking gave you?” Jordan sounded incredulous at your confession just as Marie joined the two of you. As soon as your eyes landed on Marie, your throat felt tight along with your chest. Were you not breathing? “Hey…what’s going on here?”

“I’ll explain later…” Jordan trailed off just as you spoke up and introduced yourself. Marie nodded her head, the usually perplexed expression on her soft features. You couldn’t take your eyes off her, but you didn’t want to make it noticeable. She’ll probably think you’re a loser. “Nice to meet you, I’m Marie,” it grew silent after she answered. And Jordan couldn’t clenched their fist trying to figure out how to get out of this. “I don’t wanna keep you, we should go. I have to rest anyway, you know being in a coma for three weeks can drain the fuck out of you.”

Jordan’s incisiveness threw Marie for a loop and she was confused on the fact on how Jordan knew you. Her arm was being pulled away as Jordan was in front of her before stopping abruptly. “You go on ahead, actually, I think they have something of mine I’m just gonna, yeah,”

“How do you know them, Jordan?”

“I’ll be with you in a sec!” She exclaimed, shoving Marie forward, her expression apologetic. Once Marie was out earshot, Jordan turned back around to you still standing there, eyebrows raised in question. “When you said I wasn’t going to be alone…did you mean…”

“You have a support system, Jordan. And if your friends allow it, I can definitely be apart of that.” Although it was going to be a tough road and it’s going to take some getting used to, everything being different for Supes, Jordan knew it was going to be trial and error. But as long as they had you and the others, they knew they’d be fine. It’s just going to take a bit of convincing for Emma and Marie to warm up to you, especially Marie. You lot had a lot of work cut out for you, but Jordan knew there wasn’t failure for them in the future.

#jordan li #gen v #gen v fic #jordan li x reader #jordan li x gn!reader #marie moreau x reader #mariejordan #jordanmarie #limoreau x reader #marie moreau x gn!reader #limoreau

[ladythornofrivia]

jealousy is a blessing

pair: izana x reader

warnings: just smut

a/n: hello, i'm back for the kinktober. This is my first time doing kinktober so I hope you like it.

Another boy has made another confession to her for the third time this week. First was the library, then at the cherry blossom tree, this time, it's at the school's rooftop--the rooftop is yours and Izana's hideout--a special place for you to share the desires of your love and secrets to each other. How the boy "randomly" tracked you down, Izana already had his last straw on staying from the sidelines to watch you--a gorgeous lady--to be hit on by a nobody, who was giving you a pack of snacks you liked.

Thankfully, as much as you declined the offer, your words relieved Izana. But the boy didn't go away--he's that persistent.

All right, fuck this, Izana thought.

Izana shoved the boy off the ground.

"Izana--" you began, but halted.

Izana grabbed the boy by the shirt collar then punched him off the ground, then walking back to you as Izana said, "She's mine, don't you get that?' Izana asked, licking and nibbling your face, glaring at the junior, who was handing bouquet of flowers, and a box of your favorite caramel fudge and turkish delight. "I eat her everyday just like those sweets you're trying to give her. So why don't you just scram and go back to the goody-two-shoes hole you came from."

The junior screeched; he bowed to you five times before rushing off, leaving the rooftop door slammed against the wall.

"Geez," you said, groaning. "Do you have to do that every time someone's talking to me?'

"Come on, babe," he said, kissing your cheek. "I just love you too much."

You playfully rolled your eyes. "Sure. You did that in so many occasions."

As you separate yourself from him, Izana snatched your wrist. With a head turn, you saw Izana's eyes had gone dark and glimmered with bleak aura.

"You're mine," he said, pulling you towards him. "I fucking mean it. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I can't help it, baby, I'm a jealous man," he purred, trailing his wandering hand down from your back then your ass, gave a loud and hard smack, causing you to wince and squeal.

His lips plunged onto yours, grasping your waist tight as he yanked your body closer to him with gradual warmth swarming over you. With a heat on your face, you kissed him back though gently yet passionately.

He liked it.

He wanted more.

And more.

He pulled his kiss away, leaving a saliva lined between yours and his lips. Then his quenched mouth nibbled and licked against your earlobe with a quiet moan, grinding against you, his cock hardened the constraint in his boxers and pants. Your clit throbbed at his gyrating.

With half-lidded eyes, he insisted, "Why don't we go to my place?"

~~~

Bed was rocking back and forth with lengthened creaks as he pounded his cock into you. His face smothered in sweat, though the room's temperature is cold. With your unsteady moans breathing into his ear, he picked up his speed and pounded into you harder, leaving you shaking and breathless.

"Izana..." you called out, tightened your clutch, digging your nails, clawing. "You're so fucking good."

Izana smiled and kissed your lips, moaning.

As soon as your cunt tightened around his cock, he spilled inside you, heaving with hardened breath.

And everything was perfect.

Encircling each other with embrace, everything is perfect.

"I love you, (y/n)," he said to you with a kiss on your head.

"I know, darling," you said, embracing him with a sigh of relief. "Don't be mad at me, Izana."

Izana's eyes widened at your words, but then softened. "I could never be mad at you. You're special to me. If anyone I'm mad at, it's those desperate fucks who try to get a score from you."

Covering yourself with a blanket and over Izana's body, you said, "I'm glad I met you, Izana. You love me like nobody else does. Everyone—my “friends” hates me, sabotages me in more ways than one. Nobody ever appreciated me like you did. You always encourage me and protect me and defend me like nobody ever does. Even when everyone hates me for being different, at least you appreciate me, and gave me love when nobody else does."

Izana's heart wrenched at your words, and pulled you harder onto the warmth of his chest.

"I'll always be with you forever, okay? Everything will work out--your dreams and goals. Everything. I love you, and I'll protect you. Even in the afterlife, even when I don't believe in religion. But if there's one, I'll protect you, my shining star. I’ll be your guardian angel, protect you from darkness and those fucking monsters. You deserve love and hope and joy in the world. If no one can give you the simple love and support, fuck them! They can go to hell for all I care.”

Shortly, both of you found with quiet laughter as your heart clenched, not from heartbreak.

You cried into his chest. "I love you, Izana."

"And I love you more," he said, kissing you again.

Delved safely into his embrace.

~~~

one hour later...

As he gave your favorite drink, he lounged beside you on his bed to share the hot cup of coffee.

"You're pretty hot when you get angry and jealous. I want you to do it more often," you said teasingly, your shoulders shimmied with giddy.

Izana chuckled, drinking as he snaked his arm around you and brought you closer to his warm chest. "I'll be rough more often, then. Anything for my lovely angel."

Jealousy, is indeed, a blessing.

© ladythornofrivia - all rights reserved.

please report if anyone decides to steal/plagiarize my work and notify me. thank you.

Taglist: @galactict3a @colored-tr-panels @f1yh1gh

#fanfiction #fanfic #x reader #tokyo revengers #reader insert #tokrev #bonten #izana kurokawa #izana x reader #tokyo revengers izana #anime smut #tokyo rev smut #smut #tokrev smut #female reader #ao3 fanfic #ao3feed #ao3 link #ao3 writer #ao3 #izana smut #tokyo revengers imagines #tokrev x reader #tokyo rev #tokyo rev x reader #anime fanfic #tokyo revengers x reader #fanfics #kinktober #anime

[noforkingclue]

Hey, I'm not sure if you have done this kinda idea before but I will still sent it to you anyway if you have already done it please feel free to ignore. Could I please request a Billy Butcher x supe!reader where he and the reader are in a car chase trying to escape the bad guys but they aren't losing them so the reader has to remove a power inhibitor which they wear and use their powers to escape the bad guys and then once they are safe talk with Billy about why they hid their powers from him and prehaps the reader could be a threat to a certain person who only knows the reader by their powers but not appearance.

I really hope you're doing well at work and I hope you enjoy the rest of your week.

Oooh yay! It's been fucking ages since I've written anything for The Boys. Can't wait for series 4 later this year. Maybe I need to start a rewatch soon...

Anyway, hope you like the fic :)

Title: Please, Listen

The Boys tag list: @captainofmybigwetdream, @scraftshu35, @zannemees, @holy-minseok

Billy Butcher tag list: @mrdcks-spaghetti

Everything tag list: @greenrevolutionary, @byebyebreezywrites, @spngingerbread21, @layazul, @lov3vivian, @simonsbluee

“Shit, shit, shit,” you said as you looked behind you, “we’re not fucking loosing them.”

“I fucking know that,” snapped Butcher, “what do you think- fuck!”

Butcher was interrupted by a shower of bullets against the car. You winced as you felt the glass cut you and looked carefully behind you. You bit your lip and you glanced at your wrist. You really really didn’t want to take it off but you were seeing no other opportunity. The Vought cars were gaining on you and things were, for once, looking bleak.

“Billy.”

Butcher briefly glanced over at you. You using his first name was usually enough but it was the tone of your voice which really caught his attention.

“What? Bit busy here incase you can’t fucking see.”

“I’m sorry.”

You pulled off the power inhibitor. You flexed your fingers before taking a deep breath and casting a portal. Butcher let out a string of swear words as the two of you crashed through the portal. You immediately got out of the car and clicked your fingers just as another car was halfway through it. You looked away as the Vought agents were swiftly cut in half. Finally you took a deep breath and glanced over at Butcher. He was gripping the wheel tightly, eyes fixed ahead.

“What the fuck?”

You glanced over as MM came marching over. Frenchie and Hughie were hanging back a bit but you could see the curiosity in their eyes.

“I can-” you started

“She’s a fucking supe.”

You winced at the tone in Butcher’s voice as he slammed the car door shut. You glanced at the ground as he walked over to you.

“What?” asked MM

“Y/n is a… supe?” asked Hughie and you could hear the disbelief in his voice

“Look,” you tried to keep the desperation out of your voice but knew you were failing, “I didn’t have a choice.”

“You always have a fucking choice.” spat Butcher

“I didn’t ask to be born like this,” you snapped, “You think I wanted to have fucking powers? Why do you think I created this?”

You held up the power inhibitor and slapped it back on your wrist. You let out a grunt of pain and rolled back your shoulders.

“Still prototype,” you said, “but it seems like it does the trick. Fucking hurts though.”

“Good.”

You blinked at the bitterness in Butcher’s voice. He marched over to you and jabbed you in the chest. You took a couple of steps back when you saw the venom in his eyes. You had seen that look before but it had never been directed at you. You knew it was going to be difficult when he found out the truth but, maybe slightly naively, you thought things might be a bit different. After all, how many times had you saved his life?

“I want you to fuck off,” he said, “and if I ever see you again I’ll put a bullet in your supe cunt head.”

“And this was why I didn’t fucking tell you,” you snapped, “because you’d push me away.”

“If I had known you were a supe to begin with I’d never allow you to be part of this. So fuck off.”

You looked desperately at Butcher’s retreating figure. You wanted to go after him and beg him to listen to you but you knew it was pointless. You glanced at your other friends and MM folded his arms.

“So,” you said, “where do you want me to begin.”

“At the fucking beginning,” MM said, “and then we’ll where we go from there.”

#fanfiction #the boys #reader insert #request #billy butcher #billy butcher x reader

[cult-of-the-eye]

If you had to kill one archivas assistant, who would you pick?

Oh my god this is the worst question in the entire fucking world wow!!! I love all of them!!!!

But I'm gonna answer it from a potential for Angst kinda way and which one I'd find the most interesting.

Sasha

Well first things first she did die but we're ignoring that for the sake of this question

If everyone realised she died directly after the Jane Prentiss Attack i think it would eliminate the added layer of guilt of not noticing her being taken by the Not Them and maybe allow them each to grieve a bit more? I think if they were smacked in the face with Sasha's death, then they could communally grieve before Tim got massively resentful and maybe Jon would be distracted by the grief to fall into his paranoia as intensely and actually try to support Tim instead. I guess it's a sad world where we're choosing between one type of death for Sasha and another but here we are.

Tim:

I know that hes gonna die but I haven't gotten there yet so I'm gonna imagine what would happen if he died in the Jane Prentiss Attack instead of Sasha. Sasha wouldn't have the same resentment and fury that Tim has, I feel like she'd would be determined to avenge Tim, I think she'd be a better protagonist than Jon, which would cause him extra Jon Guilt cause he'd be like why am I the leader of this whole thing Sasha would've been so much better than meeee and Sasha would eventually be like yeah bitch get out of my way. Sasha being alive would actually solve so many problems like actually. RIP Tim though, everyone would mourn his bisexual ass. Jon and Martin would grieve him normally and Sasha might make them go to therapy/talk to someone about it.

Martin:

If he died during the Prentiss Attack, he'd come back as a ghost. There's no other option, that's just what has to happen. Maybe it would be a chance for slight humour, cause Jon resolutely believed he's hallucinating for an embarrassingly long time before Martin's like nah bro...im a ghost. And he keeps Martin's reappearance to himself cause he wants something good for himself that no one can take away and they get closer and fall in love and everything but there's the added angst that he's a literal fucking ghost. The whole Peter Lukas arc is him slowly fading away as a ghost and Jon nearly kills himself to bring him back. In the end he does stab himself but he feels Martin push the knife in when he dies and he dies knowing that he'll join him.

Or alternatively, he's just gone. Jon would spiral with guilt and anxiety knowing that his last conversation with him doesn't excuse his poor treatment of him and that he died getting cut off from the others in the tunnels, he died scared and alone and worse, he died with the little bit of hope that things might get better. Tim and Sasha would both be devastated, they'd stare out at his empty desk and lash out with anger and fear and cry but in the end at least have each other to lean on. But Jon would be alone in his office with no one to give him tea. His physical health spirals and everyone's worried about him, the way Sasha and Tim have stuck together makes him even more paranoid that they somehow killed Gertrude together and no matter how soft with him they are, he still barrells towards the end with an even stronger need to martyr himself. It's bleak guys. My man is not ok.

So I guess if I could kill one of them off, I'd probably go for Tim's death cause Sasha being a better horror protagonist than Jon is actually so funny to me I think that would be so interesting but Ghost!Martin as a close second cause that would actually add so much depth.

Thank you for your ask!! I really enjoyed answering it!!

#tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #martin k blackwood #jmart #jonmartin #tim stoker #sasha james #archival assistants #tma au #asks #answered asks #tma headcanons

[butchhamlet]

what are your favourite things about king lear? also do you know any really good productions that i can watch online for free? asking because i didn’t really like king lear when i read it (except for edmund. i love edmund) and knowing why other people like it might let me look at it from a different angle. because i know it’s objectively a good play, and there’s a 50% chance of me having to study it next year so i want to like it

so i started writing a response to this ask and then paused to plot out my points (as if writing a goddamn essay) and then i looked at my points and i had written

fucked-up families

apocalypse vibes

women are hot

which. yeah, that's it, isn't it

anyway, to elaborate on that: i will admit that some of this is just personal preference, because i love stories about complicated nuclear-waste-toxic family dynamics, and lear is, like, one of the original Nuclear Waste Family Dynamic plays. (so is the oreisteia, incidentally.) what gets me specifically is that this is a play about power, yeah, but also about love: everybody in lear wants love, and nobody is getting enough of it. and the dynamics of the two families here get immediately more interesting if this isn't JUST a who-inherits-the-throne thing. edmund wants political sway, yeah, but maybe he also wants to be seen as more than a bastard. goneril kills her sister out of jealousy, yeah, but also, has she ever had a person care about her like edmund? (does he care about her? how much of the love triangle is about love vs lust vs calculation? these are questions that could be answered a thousand ways.)

i also read this play counter to old white guy traditional scholarship because i think lear (the guy) sucks. sorry. i think he sucks. i think he's terrifying and tyrannical and his daughters can do whatever they want (imo, his main problem is trying to apply his political power to his personal relationships, and that's not something caused by his senility. goneril and regan state at the end of 1.1 that, while he's going off the deep end a little more these days, "the best and soundest of his time hath been but rash." this guy has always sucked). speaking of goneril and regan, they're not evil hags--they're women trying to live with an unpredictable father, as well as trying to retain the little power they have in a male-dominated world. (notably, regan's husband is on her team, while goneril's isn't, and lear seems to have a lot of hatred for goneril specifically. which colors how both of them interact with power, edmund, and each other.)

i could actually talk about lear family dynamics forever (do cordelia's sisters love her, resent her, or both? how does edgar feel about edmund? how does edmund feel about edgar, for that matter? does he feel guilty at all for doing what he does? does edgar feel guilty about killing him? is the relationship between lear and gloucester entirely professional, or are they friends? can lear even have friends when he sees everything as some sort of zero-sum power love game? is kent gay for lear? <- yes) but i won't. because i have another point to make!

which is that it's somewhat comforting to me, in an era of [gestures at the news and broad state of the world], to read a play where people are like "holy fuck the world's going to shit and all the rules of society are inverted!" i read lear for the first time during pandemic quarantine, so. it felt fitting. your mileage may vary here (maybe you prefer escapism), but i think one could draw a lot of parallels between lear and [gestures out the window again]. this play is bleak in a way that few other shakespeare plays are bleak. (maybe timon of athens.) it's set in pre-christian britain, and the gods are invoked, but they're not really present. no one who appeals to higher powers ever seems to get any help or even comfort. and the original story of king leir didn't end Like That. shakespeare decided his play was going to end with the emotional equivalent of getting bricked in the face. cordelia's death doesn't mean anything at all! it didn't have to happen! edmund tried to stop it! she doesn't die in the original myth! and yet we're left with this horrifying apocalyptic last scene, where all the struggles for love and power come to almost nothing. maybe, if one is concerned about current events, this would make one feel worse. but i fucking love tragic catharsis and i feel bleak about the modern world so this horrible upsetting play is quite close to my heart <3

finally: i've already touched on Hot Women, but . i am a simple butch. i think goneril and regan are soooooo sexy. i love when women are mean and ruthless. i love when women kill with swords. i think conflating the two of them/treating them like two halves of the same Evil Daughter Character is a cardinal sin of shakespeare studies; you have to be reading with your eyes shut not to note stuff like regan's desire to outdo goneril, goneril's comparative lack of fulfilling relationships (re: lear fucking hates her and her husband sucks), or the differences in their dynamic with edmund (regan is still mourning cornwall at this point--does she love edmund at all, or is she just playing the political long game?). and cordelia, too, is more than just the Angelic Good Daughter; she's on stage much less frequently, but she shows a stubborn virtue that honestly borders on naivete and maybe an inclination toward martyrdom. how does she feel about her father? does she really forgive him? how does she feel about her sisters, for that matter? i'm not saying this play is, like, the most feminist shakespeare play ever written; i just really love the lear sisters.

other misc stuff: the themes are tasty! look at the authoritarianism! (is it right for one man to have this much power? see that line about the king being a wheel rolling down a hill destroying everything in his path as he destroys himself, or whatever). look at the gender dynamics! (goneril's dominance over albany and edmund in turn; the question of her womb; the mutual violence of regan and cornwall; cordelia leading an army.) look at the debate about fate and predestination! (#redditatheist edmund i love you). ++ the fact that it's set in some kind of nebulous unclear time period and the fool sings about merlin who wasn't even alive yet. i just think it's neat <3

as far as productions, i have a friend who swears by the bob jones university prod, though i haven't seen it in full (hi @lizardrosen :D). i also hav NTLive and RSC lears somewhere, i think, but shhhhh don't tell

i'd apologize for this ask being this long, but when my parents asked me to explain the plot of lear to them in 2020 i talked for 25 minutes so i guess we're all getting off lucky here

#max.txt #asks #dm me if you want those. i think i have them. #to be clear you do not have to like king lear. you can thikn whatever you want about king lear #but i like it a lot so here are some of the reasons why <3 #lear

[prongsmydeer]

Ayesha Liveblogs The Good Place S4

“I know this all seems bleak. And it feels like we’re all doomed, and therefore humanity is doomed.” I love that the scope of their problems change with each season

“With this team, there’s no problem we can’t solve.” “There is no problem we can’t create.” Duality of man (sort of)

“You know what I’m saying.” “Oh, I’m not part of this.” Michael’s not going to take any responsibility for Brent

I took a pause between watching S3 and S4 so I don’t remember Matt from Accounting but I’m assuming he was the guy who filed to be Thanos-snapped because he was Accountant of Weird Sex Stuff

I have never seen Manny Jacinto with such a scowl on his face throughout this show omg, I love the Jealousy Arc:

“I believe everything Chidi ever tells me because of his brain and how he looks like one of those owls that graduated from college.” God what I would give to be flattered by the Jason School of Compliments 

“Luckily, before I died, I pumped my face with six vials of juviderm [...] My ex-boyf is gonna be supes jeal.’” I know that John is meant to represent a specific Gossip Influencer personality but it does give me a bit of bone arsenic to watch him speak. Feels hateful LMAO

[Stanley from The Office voice] “That’s not what a hate crime is, Michael.” “Well, I hated it!”

“Are we still boyfriend/not a girlfriend?” Jason is new to relationships but he is trying ❤️

I know Linda the Boring Senior Citizen from Norway could’ve gone any number of directions, but I can’t say I was expecting her to knock four people to the ground and then jump into the sky

LINDA IS CONTINUING HER RAMPAGE IN THE AIR???? GIRL IS THIS ALL BECAUSE ELEANOR CALLED YOU “LINDS”

Update from 30 seconds later: It was the Shirtless Soulmate Gymbro Demon

Tahani did call this one!!

“So you’re saying, wanting to do something isn’t a good reason to immediately do it?” [Proudly] “Yeah.” “Man! I wish someone had taught me this on Earth.” DADDY MIICHAEL TO THE RESCUE AGAIN

The expressions that Janet and Eleanor are leveling at Brent. They are going through it 

“That’s what’s wrong with this country.” “What country?” This is truly what talking to people from the US is like LMAO

Ggkjghkjghg Brent thinking he needs to be in a Better Place than the Good Place. Oh my god

However, repeating right here that I just don’t know if I can believe a Good Place even exists, given everything that we’ve seen

“Perhaps leadership isn’t her forte.” A bold take considering Eleanor has only been leading for two days and Michael had to reboot y’all like 800 times

I think Eleanor’s crisis about being in charge is much more warranted than Team Humanity’s meeting about her failures

“You beat me in 3 months. ‘Okay, a fluke,’ I thought. You then beat me 800 more times.” THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING MICHAEL! AND YEAH THEY DID 😭💗

Michael raises an excellent point about humans with flaws being the ones to understand how best to help other humans with flaws become the best version of themselves

Also. Insane that in this manufactured society where there are Popcorn Rivers and People Can Fly that people are still commenting on how much Eleanor showers??? WHY WOULD PEOPLE NOT CONTINUOUSLY BE IN GOOD PHYSICAL CONDITION ALWAYS IN THE AFTERLIFE?

Brent vouching him being good at keeping secrets by claiming he buried HR complaints (from experience, it doesn’t take much to have an HR that does absolutely fucking nothing to support their employees LOL)

“I’m so sorry to say this, but I can’t be in a relationship with you right now.” JASON TAKING A STEP BACK WHEN JANET MENTIONS HAVING SPACE 😭😭😭 HE IS SUCH A GOOD BOYFRIEND, I HATE THIS

“We have to hope that over time, Brent starts doing good things out of habit.” “Just like you.” KGJHKGJHGKJ I think it’s a bit more than habit, you made the decision to choose being good Eleanor!!!

Honestly I fully believe that Michael had a breakdown on Day 1, he’s been through a lot of stress the past several hundred years

Eleanor introducing Simone as Chidi’s soulmate like she and Chidi haven’t fallen in love (confidently, and without equivocation) hundreds of times ☹️

“I never actually fell in love with someone.” YEAH YOU DID CHIDI!!

“Why not treat them better, just in case they’re real?” Haven’t really talked about it thus far but it’s absolutely BANANAS that Simone’s response to thinking the afterlife isn’t real is to cut off people’s ponytails and push them into pools. Even Jason’s impulses aren’t so directly aimed at people in this way. What happened to ur me vs. us speech, girl!!!

Eleanor and Jason’s sad break-up solidarity high five:

“We need Chidi to live in a world of low-grade dread.” Reintroduce Chidi to capitalism and have him work a minimum wage job

That might be high-grade dread though LMAO

Also I love this drives home that Eleanor specifically is part of what drove him to become a better person!

Fkhfkjfhfjh Eleanor, Michael and Jason planning how to gently torture Chidi while Tahani and Janet plan John’s perfect spa day. Seems like Chidi got the worse end of that stick:

“Would I like to use my time in heaven to audit a philosophy class? Mmm no.” You know what, for the first time: Fair point, John

“There were ants everywhere, but they were so helpful. They carried our wineglasses back and forth, and folded our napkins for us, it was so cute.” Call me a hater but if there were insects in my own personal experience of the afterlife I’d burst into tears

However. Good for the ants, that does sound cute ❤️ 

HAHAHAH JASON BEING UNLEASHED AS A STRESS BOMB ON CHIDI. THE BEGINNINGS (PART 802) OF A BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP

“While you were gallivanting around with your fancy friends, I lived in the real world, so I had bills to pay. I worked 16 hours a day, by myself, building a site with millions of readers.” John actually does make a reasonable observation to Tahani that there is not a level-playing field when it comes to the morality under capitalism and class division:

“But I am seriously worried that I did something wrong, and this is the universe getting back at me.” CHIDI IS SO NICE, IF ANYONE BELONGS IN THE GOOD PLACE IT’S HIM. HE IS CAUGHT BETWEEN A PROMISE (HELP JASON) AND HIS INTEREST IN BEING HONEST AND GOOD 😭💘

“I made God cry?” I know this is because they view The Good Place as heaven but there’s something about Chidi calling the woman he loves God that just gets me right in the heart 💘💘💘💘💘:

Also Michael gently patting Eleanor’s back. Best Demon Dad!!

In Tahani’s defense of having been miserable and lonely with no real friends, she did make some Best Friends Forever eventually, they were just in the afterlife, and then on Earth

JKHKJHFKJHFFJB THE CUT TO JASON WATCHING THE MOTORCYCLE EXPLODE AND GO “NOT AGAIN!” BETWEEN ALL OF THESE EMOTIONAL SCENES

“I really am sorry for all the posts I wrote about you.” John is able to grow 💗 Good for him

Also I love how Tahani is often the one to demonstrate the moral core of this show to characters outside of the main group, which is that goodness comes, in many ways, from a love of other people

“I’m sorry your motorcycle blew up.” “That’s okay homie, that’s just what motorcycles do.” My parents when I wanted to get a motorcycle license

“Genuine human connection will be his course of study.” GO PROFESSOR TAHANI 

“Go get ‘em, Chippy.” Brent constantly saying Chidi’s (two syllable, very familar sounds to English speakers) first name wrong vs. Eleanor saying his last name wrong three seasons ago. Truly Eleanor’s Much More Icky Counterpart 

You know, of all the possible spies the Bad Place could send, Glenn is a good choice, he’s got a very passive aura and seems like he could use some friends

The return of Vicky aka Real Eleanor aka Fake Michael and the Michael suit I honestly completely forgot about after my post-S3 break

“Oh, I’m very upset about this development.” Don’t distrust ur Demon Dad. He’s nice!!!

“I’m a 6,000 ft. tall fire squid. I have tentacles. There’s teeth everywhere. I’m on fire, and my neck is long, and there’s a smell, and lots of juice.” Demon Dad is self-conscious about his friends seeing his previous body. ☹️ LET MICHAEL WEAR WHAT FEELS RIGHT

“I won’t just be Michael. I’ll be some disgusting mass of burning tentacles. Do you really want to be friends with something like that?” Michaelllllllll. Something something the mortifying ordeal of being known

Jason comforting Janet after her first accidental murder. I really hope they can find a situation that works for them

“Oh boy, is this really gonna suck.” Michael offering to literally destroy himself for the good of humanity. If this turns out not to be Michael at any point I will be SO UPSET, he is SUCH A GOOD FRIEND AND DEMON AND PERSON (SORT OF)

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG IT WAS BAD JANET AND JASON KNEW THIS NOT-A-GIRL WAS NOT HIS NOT-GIRL!!!!!

POOR JANET THOUGH ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

“I’m gonna go down there and I’m gonna punch him in the mouth, and I’m going to get Janet back!” YEAHHHHHHHH JASON

“Let’s go get our girl.” “Not a girl.” GOOOOOOO TEAM JASON AND MCIHAEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

However, wild that they’re sending Michael to the place where the Michael suit is, like that’s not going to immediately bite them in the ass in terms of keeping track of who they can trust

Michael just dropping that Tahani also has the context of her whole afterlife, offscreen. She deserves her narrative moments!!

“Can I have all my memories back again? I forgot most of them.” Me too, Jason. ALSO LFHKJFHKFH WOW

I think Jason who is infinitely capable of just taking on whatever moral values are in front of him. If he hadn’t grown up in Jacksonville I think he’d be fine 

“Thank you for keeping me safe from my sexy, bad-girl sister-aunt.” I don’t know if this is all those Mommy-Sorry Tiktoks but this somehow feels more transgressive than the Derek’s earlier mommy-girlfriend comments

 [Chuckles] “But to be fair, I wasn’t designed for anything.” ME TOO, DEREK HAHAHA

“Even Derek has an important job. I’d like to be more useful.” Even Tahani has begun lampshading her own lack of narrative purpose this season lmao

SCREAM @ Michael being scared of being in the birthplace of evil (presumably, his own birthplace) while Jason is scared that he and Janet may not have their special connection. He is the perfect boyfriend, no notes

“I love a movie with gentle magic. Give me a time-travelling mailbox, or a mother-daughter body switch, or Sarah Michelle Gellar as a chef and her food tastes amazing because she cries in it.”

Me 🤝 John 

Loving stories with gentle magic in them

“What echoes of this former self await me here?” 

Jason 🤝 Michael 🤝 Me

Having a really hazy and unpleasant memory of high school

HAHAHAHAHA everyone having the most stressful days of their lives (Eleanor subject to Derek’s Single Father to the Neighbourhood Chaos, Tahani trying to wrangle the three morally questionable humans, Jason and Michael in the Bad Place and Janet being held prisoner) while Chidi gets to do a little “puzzle” given to him by His God-(Ex)-Girlfriend. Oh how the turntables

Lmao @ Shawn saying they went overboard on the cheekbones to acknowledge Jason’s incredibly beautiful face

Say what you will about Jason, he has a very practical kind of wisdom. Who else would think to remember an explosive device for every situation 

“I believed that we committed torture as a part of the moral balance of the universe. But I’ve learned that’s wrong. Humans are capable of self-improvement, and so are we. And down deep, Shawn knows this is true, too. I beg you, open your eyes to the truth.” A beautiful speech by Michael, slightly undermined by the demon he just exploded 

TWO demons he just exploded. Rest in pieces Vicky 

He did, however, solve the problem of the Michael suit

“I swear the production value of demon con gets better every year.” This feels like a meta nod to their increased SFX budget every subsequent season hahahaha 

Convinced the fact that Chidi took/takes so long to kiss Eleanor versus kissing Simone so easily is not just because of his ethical obligations but BECAUSE he loves her so much it is that much harder for him to make decision that might change their relationship 

Hahahaha, they spent so much money on SFX they couldn’t afford the location fees to shoot on a lake:

(You could also make the point that it’s supposed to look that way since it’s a simulation, but I’m pretty sure Chidi was rowing on an actual lake in S1. Maybe it was also a timing thing hahah)

“Plus, your parties aren’t pointless. They’re opportunities for them to bond and form friendships. You know, the thing we need them to do so we’re not all tortured forever?” Eleanor recognizing Tahani’s strengths as part of the group 💗

“But if we ever get through this, I want to learn how to do something meaningful.” Love that for Tahani 💖

“You’re not a demon anymore. You’re just a nice, weird, happy old dude.” Awwww Jason and Michael BFFs 4ever

JASONJANET BACK TOGETHER BAYBEEEEE:

Fkfjhfjhf this Michael Bad Janet storytime feels like a departure in energy after all the intensity of the last ep

Absolutely fucking obssessed with the Hottest Saviour of the Week, and according to this picture here’s the ongoing counts:

Eleanor: 10 (exclusively self-nominated)

Janet: 7

Tahani: 5 (one blocked by where Eleanor is standing but the background is in another shot)

Jason: 3

Michael: 0 (as it should be, no Demon Daddy objectification)

“Her name was Scarlett Pakistan, and she was the type of girl you couldn’t take in all at once, or you’d die.” UHKHFKJHFJHF BRENT TRULY REPRESENTING WHITE MEN WRITING BROWN WOMEN. Rough stuff, Tahani 

“That’s how I got my nickname, The Defendant.” I feel like this doesn’t quite match the energy of Donkey Doug or Pillboi

“Where does this hope come from man? This insane hope that people are worth the trouble?” From Michael’s heart, Bad Janet 💟

I’m gonna be real with you I forgot that no one knew Jason wasn’t Jianyu and I thought that John was having that dramatic reaction over seeing Chidi dance LMAO

Simone makes a very good point of not needing to tolerate racism and misogyny for the sake of kindness

“If this [golf advice of doing better on the next shot] ends up applying to any other aspect of your life later on, then cool.” Hahahahah Michael speaking the only language Brent can understand: Sports metaphors

Very expected that Brent was unable to handle the slightest bit of criticism, even as it directly relates to people he hurt WITH HIS BOOK LOL

“Why not be a bigger person and rise above it?” “I’ll tell you why. Because doing that sends a message that it’s okay to be treated this way. And it’s not okay to treat anyone that way.” Simone continues to make incredibly reasonable points

Chidi said: My fight, flight, freeze instinct does occasionally land on fight

“What matters isn’t if people are good or bad. What matters if they’re trying to be better today than they were yesterday.” MICHAEL FOR BEST AT UNDERSTANDING HUMANS AND MORALITY IN THE UNIVERSE 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

Michael being better today than he was yesterday by letting Bad Janet go 😭😭😭😭😭 I LOVE HIM

GJHGKJHGKJHG not Simone uncovering the entire plot of the neighbourhood hours before the experiment ends

“Panicking about this experiment at crucial moments is kinda my move.” Michael said: There’s only room for one anxiety disorder in this friendship, Eleanor

“You never told me about this, Ducky.” The demise of the Simone/Chidi relationship over their respective secret Good Place Experiment hidden professional endeavours

Simone, as a neurologist researcher, is perhaps the most difficult profession to have in this experiment because of course she can see science when she is right in front of it

“We do nothing, and we hope that our early successes make up for the embarrassing mess we’ve become. Like Facebook. Or America.” ROUGH BUT REAL 

You know what they say. When the going gets tough, the tough put on a magic show to distract the four people whose ignorance remains crucial to the fate of humanity:

Afjlkjflkjflkfj Jason coherently describing their Hail Mary and Prevent Defense strategy analogy. HE DOES LEARN

Brent 🤝 Jason

Only being able to understand the universe through sports metaphors 

“I respect your position.” “I respect yours.” “Look, I know everything’s really scary right now but I just have to say it. That was the most boring break-up I’ve ever seen.” Accurate but rude, John 

WHY IS CHIDI THE ONLY PERSON WHO CARES ABOUT THE INHERENT VALUE OF HUMAN LIFE? SIMONE, AGAIN, I ASK ABOUT YOUR ME VS. US SPEECH

“If there’s one thing I know in this world, it’s that you can ALWAYS blow up the same thing twice.” JASON, UR SO RIGHT BABY

Lowkey it is traumatizing for both Chidi and Eleanor to have someone they have loved pretending to be their eternal torturer (even if is half true)

It takes Chidi, the most ethical and empathetic person in the world, calling Brent a bad person for him to maybe consider stepping outside his own experiences to care about other people for half a second 

NOT THE EXPERIMENT ENDING MID-BRENT’S APOLOGY:

“Yes, and here’s a bottle of tequila.” [Cheerily] “Okay, let us know how it goes.” Michael knows the way to his surrogate daughter’s heart LMAO

“Oh man, are we gonna die again? We’ve died so many times. We’ve probably had like, 15 funerals by now.” Jason is right, this must really warp their sense of their own life

“You’re a choker, Michael. And you’re about to choke for the last time. Except for the eternity you’re going to spend in the Bad Place being choked by me, who will be doing the choking.” [Tearfully] “Well you’re glue!” 😭😭😭😭😭 MICHAEL

NOT THEM WEEKEND AT BERNIE’S-ING CHIDI SO HE CAN BE PART OF THE FUNERAL PARTIES

Also Eleanor’s explanation of his jacked physique coming from his anxiety. On brand LMAO 

Also also also the fact that Janet could DEFINITELY transport him by strength or teleport but she’s just watching them struggle HAHAHA

Not Brent somehow getting 1% worse than he was on Earth gkjhgjhgjh

The Weekend at Bernie’s vibes only increase. Chidi is impressively still

“I got born in the deep end of a pool, right after my mom did a cannonball.” 1) Can’t believe this is the first we’re hearing of Jason’s mum and 2) That tracks

“But despite it all, he was the most optimistic person I’ve ever met.” This is why I am in love with Jason

“That’s my Jason. A big colourful rainbow blob, stuffed inside a hot life-size action figure.” I love Janet explaining why she loves Jason. Also, now I want to be flattered by the Janet School of Compliments

Jason 🤝 Janet

Whipping out the best compliments in the world on the fly

So far, Jason’s poolside funeral is my favourite:

Michael proving that the Soul Squad actually made the people they care about better in tangible ways 🥺❤️‍🩹

“People improve when they get external love and support. How can we hold it against them when they don’t?” MICHAELLLLLLLLLLLLLL

“But what that number can’t tell you... is who he could’ve become tomorrow.” MICHAELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL 😭😭😭😭😭😭 IT’S A GOOD SHOW

“Tahani taught me that you can make a family, even if you never really had one. Jason taught me that I have value beyond what I do for other people. And Eleanor, there was a moment on Earth when all hope was lost, and I watched you have hope anyway.” JANETTTTTTTTTTT 😭💞😭💞😭💞😭💞😭💞

“I never felt quite so seen as when she saw me.” First ‘that’s gay, Tahani,’ of the season!!!!

HKJHRKJHKGJHKJGHJ THEY WON AND THE SOLUTION IS TO CANCEL EARTH? THIS IS WHY I HAVE SUCH A HARD TIME BELIEVING THERE IS AN ACTUAL GOOD PLACE, IT JUST DOESN’T SEEM LIKE THERE’S ANY WAY FOR ANYONE TO GO THERE 

BAD JANET TO THE RESCUE!!!!!!!!! MICHAEL’S FRIENDS ALWAYS COME THROUGH

“It’s not two of us, it’s all of us.” THE JANET REVOLUTION!!!!!!! RISE OF THE JANETS!!!

I love that they’re delivering on the Disco Janet joke they dropped a season ago LMAO

“You want to take the most indecisive man ever born, stuff him full of over 800 different versions of himself, and tell him he has, like what, 45 minutes to save humanity?” GO CHIDIIIIIIII

Not Chidi’s first research project being on why his parents shouldn’t get divorced. We have finally unlocked his childhood trauma

Chidi 🤝 Me

Parents who should be divorced perhaps but instead stayed married 

Chidi philosophizing his way out of a relationship is very on-brand

Awwwww I love these flashbacks of all the things we know about Chidi but with new added perspectives (more about why he and Alessandra broke up, the failure of his thesis, the way he makes decisions, the lead-up to him meeting Eleanor, Jason and Janet’s first wedding)

Sidenote: IS THAT DIGITAL GETDOWN I HEAR IN THE BACKGROUND!!! ITS THEIR SONG BAYBEE

“Where I’m from, most things blow up eventually. So I’ve learned when something dope comes along, you gotta lock it down. If you’re always frozen in fear and taking too long to think about what to do, you’ll miss your opportunity, and maybe get sucked into the propeller of a swamp boat.” Very solid life advice from Jason to Chidi

The way Chidi kept falling for Eleanor regardless of who his soulmate was, even despite his loyalty to the concept of soulmates 💗

 “Woof, that’s too much to put on an eight-year-old.” I will keep saying it: I know it’s not in my best interests to identify with Chidi... and yet

“Soulmates aren’t real, are they?” “Chidi, in all honesty, I don’t know. but I don’t think so.” MAYBE THE REAL SOULMATES WERE THE FRIENDS WE FOUND ALONG THE WAY

“You wake up every day and you solve [the puzzle of life] again.” CHIDIIIIIIII

HAHAHAHAHA CHIDI’S FIRST QUESTION AFTER WAKING UP BEING IF HE HAS BEEN ANNOYING THEM FOR 300 YEARS 

I AM LITERALLY GOING TO CRY THIS IS SO SWEET 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Hahahahaa Chidi said: New timeline, new me, baybee. I am over my indecision anxiety now!!!!

Jason’s concern that eliminating humanity is a bummer is valid

Hahahahah Chidi and Eleanor asking the other if they want to get out of here tickles me

“Chidi should hook up with the judge to get us out of trouble. I’ve done that a bunch of times. It’s called a Jacksonville Plea Bargain.” 1) Someone please help Jason and the state of Florida 2) This statement made me curious to look up how many female judges there are in the Middle District of Florida (where Jacksonville is) purely to determine logically whether Jason hooked up with a man and the answer as of 2020 is 6 out of 14 are female (none self-identify as LGBTQ). So Jason could’ve reasonably gotten these plea deals “a bunch of times” by only by hooking up with women, actually! Sexuality math

But happy Pride Month to Jason, who, while his heart belongs to Janet, whenever he is in a new timeline is liable to propose to literally anyone who he enjoys talking to

“Shut up. Shut up. Hi. Shut up. I’m confident now.” Chidi’s energy is a bit all over the place in times of crisis lmao

"I don’t care if everyone loses, as long as you lose.” Shawn truly willing to cut off his nose (the current system of the afterlife) to spite his face (the four humans he’s been trying to torture for 300 years)

Disco Janet’s marbelized form being a mini disco ball is perfect 10/10 production choices

The Soul Squad offering too take on eternal torture so that the rest of humanity can have a normal, medium afterlife 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

LMAO @ JANET MAKING A TIMOTHY OLYPHANT TO GET THE JUDGE TO HEAR THEM OUT 

THE SYSTEM BEING THAT U KEEP GETTING A SHOT AT BEING A BETTER PERSON UNTIL U ACE IT 💗💗💗💗 ELEANOR, CHIDI, TAHANI, JASON AND MICHAEL, THE LOVES OF MY LIFE

“Then, what are we doing to their penises?” “Well, largely, ignoring them.” [Throws hands up in frustration] RIP the penis-bees

“Getting rebooted over and over again made me a better not-a-person than I’ve ever been. Humans should get the same opportunity.” YEAH JANET!!!

“Fighting you is the most fun I’ve ever had.” It’s almost Death Note-esque in the being consumed by targeting the other person so much you get attached. I guess Shawn is the Light in this situation. (Although L does engage in recreational torture)

"You have to read my file right now!” “What? I’m confused, is this a game? Is it a sex game, somehow?” LMAO and big hearts at Chidi, the guy who wanted all the world’s answers, being totally fine with whatever Eleanor has ever done, whether he gets to read it in her file or not (Eleanor is the answer ❤️)

LHFKJHKJHGKJGH VICKY AKA REAL ELEANOR AKA FAKE MICHAEL COMING BACK TO VOLUNTEER AS THE IN-BETWEEN PLACE’S FIRST ARCHITECT:

(Also Vicky’s right, she looks super hot, this is perfect lighting, outfit, makeup, everything)

SCREAMS at Chidi concluding based on every insane thing that Eleanor has ever done that actually she’s coped pretty well and she’s super interesting and it is he that’s too boring for her 😂 He is so funny 

HAHAHAHAHA I know she brought up this thread of looking up the sexuality of presidents earlier but: 

Me 🤝 Eleanor 

Constantly trying to assess everyone we read about (or watch) to see if they’re bisexual

“Are you saying... Janet might get bored of me?” Chidi has passed his eternal romantic dread onto Jason like a common cold

“Think of it as, flattening the penises of their heart.” “Oh! Now it makes sense.” Vicky Bad Place: Demon Educator 

“Once on Earth, I didn’t know something and I had to ask Alexa. I felt dirty.” HAHAHAHAHA

Me 🤝 Janet

Having a one-sided grudge with Alexa 

Poor Michael, his purpose for so long has been solving problems, he doesn’t know what to do without something to overcome (mood)

OMG JASON TRICKED CHIDI INTO TALKING HIMSELF OUT OF HIS ROMANTIC DREAD 💝 THAT’S MY MAN. STREET SMARTS!!!! 

It tickles me whenever they mention what they actually are underneath the skin suits. I hope someone has drawn Michael and Vicky having this workplace conversation as a Fire Squid and Acid Snake

“Turns out that saving every soul in the universe is worth a few points.” 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 THEM!

Honestly all of these things considered, I still have trouble believing in the Good Place as they’ve previously described it, so I have no idea what these last couple episodes are going to be about

God I love these five people and not-people so much:

What, I wonder, would you do if you have a fear of heights, if the only way to go to the Good Place is via hot air balloon? 

“What if that’s some sort of demon alarm to alert the cops that I’m here?” THE HEAVEN COPS, MICHAEL? THERE ARE COPS IN HEAVEN? 

Also 

Me 🤝 Michael

Being uncomfortable in sacred places and assuming you’re going to be persecuted for a crime you didn’t know you committed

STOPPPP this is such a funny candy, I DO miss the energy I had when I was twelve:

Hahahaha, the fact that all the male philosophers are not in the Good Place. That tracks 

MICHAEL GETTING TO BE A GOOD PLACE ARCHITECT 🥺❤️ IT’S WHAT HE DESERVES, PLEASE BE REAL

“This room is filled some of the most interesting people that ever lived. Chat them up, learn about their lives, then meet back here so that we can make fun of them.” Eleanor’s first advice in the Good Place is not the most kind-spirited LMAO

“Now you are officially in charge of the Good Place [...] You’re the boss now. That was all legally binding, and we all quit, effective immediately.” I KNEW I WAS RIGHT TO BE SUSPICOUS LMAO

THIS IS WHY I DON’T BELIEVE IN THE GOOD PLACE, IMMEDIATELY IT’S SASS AND TRICKERY LMAO

“You gotta help us, we are so screwed.” AHA!!! THE OTHER GOOD PLACE SHOE DROPS

“I would’ve killed for a vaccine. Any vaccine. It’s crazy that you guys just don’t like them now.” THE FACT THIS EP AIRED IN JANUARY OF 2020 LMAO. They really touched a timely nerve

Omggggg okay so we’re getting into the Good Place Problem: Being in infinite supply of experiences and desires, your brain atrophies?????

I guess this entire group of people has also been left unattended for 500 years which doesn’t help

“We need to find the Committee.” “The Committee is me. I am Committee. It me.” Me when I say ‘we’ about my job as if I am not literally the only person in my department:

I honestly don’t know if I buy into the idea that death and finite experience is the only thing that gives life meaning. I think the idea of having some agency in whether or not you continue your afterlife makes sense. But the implication you cannot sustain a life based on happiness, or that struggle is what gives people personhood, doesn’t sit right with me. Personhood is an act of love for yourself and others

“And when you’re ready, walk through one last door and be at peace.” I DO like that this acknowledges that for some people, paradise is not infinite consciousness but can also be found in letting go of consciousness

Hypatia said: Maybe the real Good Place was the friends we found along the way (she was right)

“I think that’s what the Good Place is. It’s not even a place, really. It’s just having enough time with the people you love.” Chidi said: I second that, Hypatia

[Sarcastically but sweetly, after Eleanor jokingly threatens to leave] “I’ll miss you.” CHIDIIIIIIIIII

OMG TEACHING ETHICS LESSONS IN THE GOOD PLACE, BECAUSE EVERYONE CAN BE BETTER THAN THEY WERE THE DAY BEFORE ❤️

“Never not excited about frogs, that guy.” ME TOO JEFF THE EARTH DOORMAN AKA BURT HUMMEL, FROG DESK SOLIDARITY

“At one point, hundreds of Bearimys ago, I turned off my ability to know what time it is anywhere in the universe when you and I are together.” JANET UR SO ROMANTIC, JASONJANET X INFINITY

Awwww it tracks that Jason would be the first person to be certain his needs were met. But that’s so complicated when your partner is an infinite being like Janet!!! Like what are the mechanics of dealing with a loss that is the cessation of someone who matters most to you

Shout-out to Young Doug Forcett, who is firmly done with his pisswater era

“I really am okay. I promise.” “Will you come talk to me if you’re not?” “Always.” Michaellll 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Janet!!!!

“I’m scared Janet’s gonna forget me. Here falling in love with someone else, I’d be fine with that. Like if Jason Momoa or Lara Croft, Tomb Raider gets in, and Janet’s like, ‘That’s what up,’ totally cool! But her forgetting me would be sad.” JASONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN 😭😭😭😭😭😭

A LOCKET SO JANET CAN ALWAYS HAVE A PART OF JASON WITH HER, I AM SO SAD AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH:

“To me, remembering moments with you is the same as living them.” STOP IT RIGHT NOW

“Can you just remember the happy times and forget the bad stuff?” “There was no bad stuff. It was all good.” I AM IN TEARSSSSS 

I love Tahani being in her Crafty Girl Afterlife Era

Tahani and Kamilah representing the absolute flabbergastedness one experiences when a parent admits a wrongdoing or has a learning experience:

Tahani having a special last goodbye with her best friends even after healing all of the other relationships, because the Soul Squad/Team Cockroach/Team Humanity is her first and chosen family 😭❤️

“I admire you so very much. Your strength, your toughness, your self-esteem, not to mention... you have a rockin’ bod.” OH HOW THE TURN TABLES, TAHANI!!!! 

“I want to learn to do what you do, Michael. I want to be an architect, design afterlives.” MY GIRL TAHANI GETTING HER PURPOSE IN LIFE

“I hope you don’t mind if I brag about knowing you.” “Name dropping is a little gauche, Michael, but do as you must.” Tahaniiiiii. I do love how her story is wrapping up

I enjoy that Uzo gets to see Chidi post-his 800-Universe-Decision-Making-Immersion-Therapy. 

Eleanor trying her hardest to keep Chidi in the afterlife even though he’s almost done 😭 Also the pictures of the four humans in Michael’s office

“If you leave, then I’m alone here.” AHHHH ELEANOR. They’ve really turned the afterlife into Earth Lite

“Can we eat words? Because I’ve asked Janet about this and—” Chidi said: One day an academic rival told me I’d eat my words and it’s been my dream ever since

Eleanor loving Chidi enough to let him go vs. Chidi loving Eleanor enough to hold in for several bearimys that he has been ready to leave 💔

CHIDI SAYING GOODBYE WITH A SEXY CALENDAR. HE KNOWS THE LOVE OF HIS (AFTER)LIFE:

SCREAM JASON WAITING FOR JANET TO COME BACK TO THE FOREST FOR A THOUSAND BEARIMYS. THANK YOU FOR IMMEDIATELY HEALING THE WOUND OF CHIDI LEAVING HAHAHAHAA

“I sort of just sat quietly and let my mind drift away, thought about you and the infinity of the universe.” “Kind of like a monk.” JANET HAS BEEN WAITING OVER 4 WHOLE SEASONS TO MAKE THIS JOKE HAHAHAHA

ALSO HOW COULD JANET, WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING, NOT KNOW THAT JASON WAS STILL AROUND

Dhkjfhjkfhfkjh it would be very weird if Eleanor’s actual unfinished business was Mindy St. Claire of the Medium Place

Update from 1 minute later: It was not 

Tahani saying, “As I neither live nor breathe,” is a fun little line

Michael being unable to cope without something productive to fill his time ghjkghgkjhg. Anxiety icon 

“I’m gonna be...” “A real boy, Pinocchio.” MICHAEL GETS TO BE HUMAN? I LOVE THAT FOR HIMMMMM ❤️‍🩹

“I won’t exactly know what’s going to happen after I die. Nothing more human that that. Besides texting people that you’re five minutes away when you haven’t even left the house.” How many Bearimys does it take for us to evolve past phones hahahahaha

Does mean that Eleanor will be in charge of The Good Place?? White women dominating the non-profit industry strike again (I kid)

MICHAEL GIVING JEFF THE EARTH DOORMAN A REAL FROG!!!! I LOOOOVE HIM

Kinda wild that Michael starts his human life at like, what, age 50? That’s like 30-40 years if he’s lucky. Why doesn’t he get to start as a baby? Not consistent enough?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA MICHAEL NAMING HIS DOG AFTER JASON:

“I hate to see you walk through the final door at the edge of existence, but I love to watch you leave.” ICONIC GOODBYES FROM JANET AND ELEANOR, ONE OF THE STRONGEST DYNAMICS IN THE SHOW

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA MICHAEL’S EARTH NAME BEING MICHAEL REALMAN

I truly wondered how this show would end and I guess the glowing embers of Eleanor’s last bit of existence blessing Michael with a Coyote Joe’s card while he says to a good samaritan, his friends, and by extension the audience, “Take it sleazy,” is as good a way as any! 

Final thoughts: I really do love the way this show is written, how everything is intentional, how it’s so focused on love and connection and growth, and how each season manages to engage you with a different question. It’s interesting how, although they often use Heaven as a point of reference, this ending was a bit more Hindu/Buddhist in its leanings (i.e. liberation from physical incarnation/rebirth—and in the sense their testing system as that reincarnation cycle—through the accumulation of positive karma or liberation from desire). Ironically, even as someone who is Hindu, I still do think personhood is an act of love, and I feel like that ‘love for love’s sake,’ idea was a little lost in these final few episodes. But all the same, going into it this was my favourite show (even having only seen 2 seasons) and it still is. It’s a good show!!!! I love every character, and I feel satisfied with their stories! 

#ayesha says things #liveblogging #ayesha liveblogs tgp #the good place #television #long post #the good place spoilers #the ending baybeeee #the good place will probably feature on this blog from this point on fyi!

[someweirdoreblogger]

You have an "admirer," apparently. One that has no sense oncesoever.

Odin, the All-father, iron fist of the Norse.

You use everything in your willpower, hidden deep, to not flip your shit each time he graces your weaker presence.

Odin comeths baring no warning. Does a King need formal reason to wander inside his own castle?

Suddenly, day after day, night after night-this intimidating figure finds you worthy of not just a simple glance.

Not a word spoken, without distraction nor misdirection. He is elegant down to how he walks, with purpose and unwavering resilience.

The All-father is supreme and tyrannical in godly definition, of the legendary Bifrost's chosen few. A rapid tide in constant pursuit, edgeless flood overcoming building after building in its merciless path of endless devastation, devouring those who dare oppose the roaring waves.

Odin is... just there.

Next to little ol' you, a lowly servant, the great All-father. Without a care in the world. The sheer audacity to treat this like it's not extremely unusual for an all-powerful god such as himself to take interest in another out of the blue, let alone someone so painstakingly simple. Someone never pinned on the radar of another god, definitely not one of their strongest ancients.

Either you found him, or likewise, the latter; waiting ever patiently by the bay of your active sector, stuck in the ground like a tree stump. Is he even breathing? Feet rooted, immoveable as stone.

It's hard to not miss him in this lightful realm, a towering candle of stern darkness-permeant arrogance written on his face. Wrinkles forming indifferent strokes, old indeed, but nevertheless immortal. Long scars, they decorate him in tight and unnerving brushes. A bleak void carries the stinging yellow jackets in his eyes, stoic, unrelenting. A force to be reckoned with, even then, any blind fool can tell this highly dangerous god homes a deep attractiveness mortals are blessed to witness. The devil is hideous on one hand, yet beautiful on another. People become frantic in trying to appease their quite unexpected guest, you can't blame them, if you didn't know what Odin was here for-vaguely at the very least-you would've tripped on yourself to ensure no bloodshed as well, no one wants to wipe up intestines and tethered remains off the walls. Frightened assistants question one another, curious bombarding. A sea of peeking servants and turning heads, eager but not too eager to learn the answer to the question lingering in everyone's mind- -Why Odin of all damn people is in private servant quarters? Endless blunt remarks of his loyal crows fill the air, interesting how they obviously contrast, scolding unlucky others getting far too close for their liking (Getting used to that nonstop bickering and annoying flaps of their feathery wings deserves a round of applause admittedly). Shouting in a voice you swear can be heard all across Heaven that the All-father needs not justify himself to weaker masses. And soon, the crowd disperses till Odin is all that remains, looking upon reality like it matters little to him in that current moment. Continues to stand moving not an inch, dead to the knowing world. Maybe he was ready to stay there for years, just for you. Ridiculous, but the determination itself is admirable, terrifying as the person it belonged too. Holding, distant, stubborn on holy soil older than your great grandfather until you're unfortunately noticed; The only servant Odin made eye-contact within the past few hours, a small part of you immediately died in that current moment. Caught. Well, better to accept fate then delay the inevitable.

Furthermore, Odin never fucking leaves. Unless swayed by the heavy burden of his responsibilities to Valhalla, he is practically glued to you. Hip to hip, never behind.

Where you least expect him, somehow, he has unadmitted reason for popping up into your vision like a mole, driven by curiosity.

Coincidentally, in your most favored places. Including personal ones.

(There next to your bed watching you sleep, there behind you during your break, there standing next to you as you dust the priceless artifacts of the great halls. Wherever you go Odin is almost certain to trail after, turning this into a childish game of follow the leader.

Odin goes where you go, regardless of actually where 'where' is. At this point, you can only expect but never predict. Quick as lightening, an invisible thundering sound in the distance, appearing where most convenient. Your face sinks the moment his face enters your sights, you won't shake him off matterless of whether or not you really tried, both stuck together till night falls from Olympus.

(Yeah right, you shaking off Odin. No fool can ever dream hard enough to achieve such a feat.)

It's an unlucky series of unwanted occurrences that all servants know better then to suggest otherwise.

You swear, this is on purpose. But for what?

Pleasure?

Curiosity?

This torture of constantly hanging on the end of the cliff, not knowing if someone behind you is waiting the perfect moment to push. To see you fall down into the bottomless abyss. Thor and Loki had to get their tendencies somewhere.

You are fairly confident in yourself, even when it comes to dealing with the gods. You have worked for Olympus long enough that little to nothing surprises you anymore. You've witnessed aplenty things, from disasters to miracles, you have never seen-

-this.)

And Odin just...stares at you the entire time, much to your intense confusion and unbridled fear.

Odin grants no hints and admits nothing, an intimidating statue of a great towering godfather who can erase your mortal existence off Heaven in under a millisecond. Completely and utterly unpredictable, reeking of boundless bloodlust and pure fighting prowess. Won't take the unrivaled intellect of Tesla to recognize Odin can't be a bearer of good news.

He irritates the sensitive hairs on your neck, pricked up, suffocating in fright. His aura scorches you, a transparent brand of godly fire. Daring you to move out of line, defiance is forever intolerable in the biased eyes of the Heavens. You can't imagine doing anything to potentially earn his ire.

You have no intention of betraying Valhalla, unfond as you are about the gods, not that you'd foolishly announce that to fucking Odin.

Your conclusions are empty stales of bread, no meat and cheese, sauce, mayonnaise or mustard. No excuse for this argumentatively, obsessive behavior about following you like a shitty puppy. You can't guess why Odin is even here to begin with, why he bothers you with never-ending oversight.

Thankfully, Odin only looks. Just watching.

Seems merely seeing you just living is a newfound hobby for Valhalla's ruling god, whatever that means for you.

As deeply unnerving as his constant observation is, you suppose it could be worse, as you and your beloved nymph friends speculate. All you can do is wait for something to happen. You take it as a sign to perform your duties more perfectly, though it was more out of crawling desperation to live than inspiration.

(You read and carefully organize the ancient books in a quiet, knowing patience.

Counting the lively torches upon the grand Olympian walls, which ones are lit, which aren't.

Writing down assigned addresses, preparing for the awaiting visitation of the next Pantheon for Hermes.)

Non-blinking, holes burning at the back of your head. Analyzing the most basic specks and wrinkles of your face and neckline, fair hair whistling silently against Winter winds. Eyes of an eagle locked onto their target, dreadfully focused. By far the most scared you have ever been in your entire life, and that's saying a lot from a mortal servant of the gods. Luckily, it gets easier and easier to ignore. Silence seems to be Odin's consistent trait.

Odin is a walking blank slate blessed with legs. He does nothing, says nothing, and acknowledges nothing. Nothing but you, in the slightest form of a distant bat of thick eyelashes thrown in your direction.

You can't be certain if that's better or worse.

Apart from constant observation spilling not a single question, Odin hasn't raised a hand or tried to bring upon you any sort of harm. Made not even the tiniest peep across your numerous encounters. Done anything other than made you incredibly creeped out.

Odin is a constant, looming shadow. A curse, razor-sharp, an unpredictable element of nature. A sinking feeling of never being left alone in peace, sticking on the very edge of every corner of your unrest. That dark gaze is something no one ever forgets.

Certainly not you, a victim of that judgmental pair of golden ores, staring into your soul. Every truth of you naked to his eyes, like glass.

You still have no clue why Odin decided that you must be the center of his undeterred attention.

(Oh, you poor unfortunate soul,

If only you knew the storm coming your way.)

#mypost #anime #manga #record of ragnarok #odin is his own wanring #odin #record of ragnarok odin #ror odin #odin ror #record of ragnarok x reader #odin x reader #tw implied stalking #tw yandere-ish #kinda? #this can be taken as that

[coramatus]

Under the City Streets (part 12)

THE END

Supersedes this draft ending

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [7.1-7.4] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13+]

After being forced to leave a scared, uncooperative Woodsman behind, Emmet just gives up, wanting nothing more than to go to sleep in pure anguish. The light in his eyes has completely disappeared, leaving behind a dull bleak stare. The pain from his burn is now excruciating, radiating up through his entire arm, tearing into his shoulder, and crawling into his chest, only getting worse the more terrible he feels.

He comes upon an old abandoned train station. Ominously its ‘TOWNSEND STATION’ sign is partially smashed, leaving only the words ‘END STATION’. Exhausted, his legs give out and he collapses into a ball. For the first time since arriving in the Unknown, Emmet lets himself sob uncontrollably as despair and agony finally overwhelm him. Edelwood starts to climb over his form.

Someone watches him and quietly walks away.

In the meantime, Volo has been trying to find Emmet since they split to apologize. He’s been thinking about everything, his every mistake, his every misstep, his every false assumption. Everything he thought was important feels so… hollow now. No saving long dead civilizations, no rewriting the universe to rid it of pain, no usurping god; none of that matters when the one person who made him feel genuinely loved is rightfully angry at him for his mistake. A mistake he actually has the power to fix if he does this properly. He just needs to apologize to Emmet first, to let him know he will make this right.

As he perches on a branch to catch his breath, Volo spots a familiar shadow watching him. He realizes it’s the Hunter and irately goes to confront them. But the Hunter simply walks off and Volo follows, demanding to know what they’re playing at. The Hunter says nothing and just keeps walking. Volo gets annoyed and starts to yell when the Hunter points at something.

The sight he finds makes him snap his beak shut.

It’s Emmet, covered in Edelwood vines.

Volo instantly understands what’s happened and starts trying to free Emmet, berating him about this being exactly why he wanted him to leave the Unknown. Why doesn’t anyone ever listen to him about that?!

But Emmet’s not fully aware and weakly pleads to Volo in a broken voice, “he won’t listen to me… why won’t he listen? why does he hate me?”

Now Volo is going to lose the only person he considers a friend. But he is just a Starly with Tackle as his only attack. The Hunter has unhelpfully disappeared on him as per usual. So Volo goes to find help.

Luckily, he spots the light of the Woodsman’s lantern moving along in the forest. He finds the man trudging along, dragging his axe behind him and looking utterly defeated and lost. Knowing his complete story now, Volo dives in at him.

For the Woodsman, his world is shattered. He doesn’t know why he bothers carrying the lantern still. He’s not even sure what it is anymore.

The sight of Emmet’s bleeding face haunts him.

How could he?

And then there’s an angry Starly in his face, yelling invectives at him.

The Woodsman does not take Volo’s verbal abuse well. But when the subject of his brother is brought up, the Woodsman loses all the fight in him, still rattled by his last encounter with Emmet, having only been a few hours ago. He’s full of guilt after hurting him and doesn’t think he deserves to be near Emmet.

Volo is instantly fed up and steals the Woodsman’s hat, demanding he follow him if he wants it back. The Woodsman knows what Volo is trying to do and reluctantly lets himself be led away, hoping beyond hope that this is just some fucked up joke.

It’s not a joke.

The sight of Emmet’s crumpled form, covered in Edelwood vines, leaves the Woodsman cold with horror and clarity.

Any doubt vanishes.

Emmet is his brother and always has been.

He’s been a fool…

The Woodsman tries to wake Emmet up as he and Volo break away Edelwood branches. He cajoles him with reassurances that he’s there for him, that he’s sorry, that he wants him to get up.

But Emmet’s despair is too much. And here, Emmet finally reveals the pent up anger, resentment, and grief towards his brother that he’s kept to himself for years. With his mind addled with despair, words he would normally bite his tongue to keep inside all come spilling out, resulting in a barely coherent conversation.

Woodsman: “E-Emmet! H-Hey! It’s me! Come on! Get up!”

Emmet: “leave me alone…”

Woodsman: “Wh-what?”

Emmet: “what do you care? you don’t even believe me. i’m no one to you.”

Woodsman: “No! No, I was wrong! Horribly wrong! You are Emmet! You are my brother! My little twin brother! You always have been! I was so blind…”

Emmet: “nngh! stop…! stop lying—!”

Woodsman: “Emmet, I don’t—?”

Emmet: “you’re a liar. you said you’d come back home. that was four years ago. what did i do? why did you lie to me…”

Woodsman: “…I-I’m sorry.”

Emmet: “no, you’re not. you abandoned me. you rejected me… all you do is hurt me. over and over…”

Woodsman: “E-Emmet…”

Emmet: “i don’t know why you hate me. i just wanted to bring you home. that’s all i wanted. i tried so hard. i am so tired… please… just let it be over…”

Woodsman: “Emmet! No! NO!!!”

The Edelwood creeps over more of Emmet as his crying falls silent.

Volo realizes that Emmet’s depression is spiraling far too quickly for them now. The Woodman asks what he means, what’s wrong with Emmet, why are Edelwood vines growing on him?? Volo explains that the Unknown is claiming Emmet because he’s giving into his despair. The Woodsman is bewildered, demanding to know what the hell that means. Volo is surprised at him. He’s the Woodsman! Doesn’t he know?? Those who succumb to despair in the Unknown become Edelwood trees.

This is how the Woodsman learns the true origins of the Edelwood: it’s made of souls. Humans and Pokémon who gave into their despair and died while in Unknown, consumed by the forest, remade into oily trees with agonized faces. The Woodsman has a massive breakdown. This whole time, he’s been harvesting lost souls for the lantern. The Beast kept this from him, and lied to him about the nature of the trees. He had his suspicions but the truth is devastating.

He truly is as monstrous as everyone says he is.

He barely snaps out of it when Volo yells at him to help him with Emmet, the vines are growing far too fast for his tiny bird body to remove. Indeed, Emmet is getting swallowed up by thickening vines.

The sight breaks something in the Woodsman.

Ingo decides he’s ending this now.

Enraged, Ingo wraps his arms around Emmet and with a roar of fury (“I WON’T LET YOU HAVE HIM!!”) he tears his brother right out of the Edelwood, twigs and vines falling away from Emmet’s freed body, staining them both in black oil.

Volo is awed by Ingo’s strength but gets hold of himself and guides him to the wooden floor of the abandoned station to keep the vines at bay, advising him to keep Emmet warm. Ingo does so, hurriedly taking off his thick Pearl Clan tunic and putting it on his brother. Ingo cradles Emmet’s limp form, fruitlessly begging him to wake up before breaking down, sobbing apologies into his brother’s shoulder. Volo quietly listens and watches him for any signs of waking up.

Emmet remains limp and lifeless.

“Ingo?” a rough feminine voice calls out softly.

Volo is surprised to find Lady Sneasler leaping down before them, she too having been guided there by the Hunter. Her gaze is wary but drops it when she sees Emmet’s condition. Ingo bundles his brother up in his arms and begs her to help Emmet. He knows he wronged her, but he’s only asking this of her for Emmet’s sake. Sneasler solemnly agrees, gently lifting Emmet out of his brother’s hold. Before she leaves, she asks what Ingo is going to do now.

Ingo hefts his axe and puts his hat back on. He simply says he has unfinished business and heads out to confront the Beast. Sneasler warns him that he can’t take on the Beast alone. Not even she could do it. But Ingo says he needs to make up for what he’s done, for the people he’s hurt, for what the Beast made him do. For Emmet. She reluctantly allows him his mission and promises she’ll come back for him with friends. Ingo gives her a sad smile and simply thanks her for everything she’s done for him before walking away.

Volo hesitates but chooses to accompany Emmet. With a quiet word, he leads Lady Sneasler to someone close by that he knows who can help.

Deep in unconsciousness, Emmet remembers the truth of how he came to be in the Unknown. He’d been walking the tunnels when the earth suddenly began to shake. But instead of a steam train barreling at him, he realized it was an earthquake when cracks started forming in the concrete around him. He started to run, but it was too late. A mass of concrete collapsed over him, burying him in rubble, crushing him under its weight, explaining his visions of a broken tunnel whenever his breathing became labored. As he struggled to stay conscious, his last thought was that he didn’t want to die without seeing his brother one last time.

Emmet slowly awakens from his miasma of misery to find two kids tending to him. Akari and Rei, the Professor’s missing assistants. He’s still deeply depressed and his burn is as painful as ever, but he pulls enough of himself together to at least be polite and interact with his caretakers. As far as Akari and Rei know, Lady Sneasler and a little Starly brought them his unconscious body. Their host had healing supplies to spare and the kids agreed to assist. Then the two Pokémon left, Volo to collect more healing berries and Sneasler to gather reinforcements.

Emmet is despondent and just wants to go back to sleep, not caring that he’s down to just his singlet and tattered pants. But Akari jams a spoonful of berry mash into his mouth and demands that he “eat his mush”. He’s annoyed but does as he is told and slowly eats the combined healing berries.

They talk, Akari and Rei questioning Emmet about his appearance. They reveal they’ve met Ingo before, but he was actually quite nice to them. Well, except for that time they messed with his lantern, but that was their fault. They’re the only humans Emmet’s met who have anything remotely nice to say about his brother, telling him of how he tried his best to help them even though they kept accidentally making his life harder. It’s enough to bring a small smile back to Emmet’s face.

Then an unfamiliar, white-haired woman in a long, lacy black dress approaches him. She elegantly checks him over and says they’ve done everything they can. The rest is up to him.

She introduces herself as Cogita, idly commenting with a raised brow about how her quiet life has suddenly taken such an… interesting turn. Akari and Rei look embarassed but say nothing as they help restock her medical supplies, trying to be discreet about listening in.

It’s not long before Volo makes it back. He immediately fusses over Emmet, who quietly tolerates it before they fall into an uncomfortable silence.

That’s when Cogita asks for a moment with Volo. He looks nervous but agrees. Away from the others, the two talk, Cogita wondering why she hasn’t seen him in years. He used to constantly pester her for myths right up until Hisui was transported to the Unknown. She believed that he was stranded in Jubilife, not here as a Pokémon. Volo admits that he’s been avoiding her. He didn’t want her to see him like this: small, weak, pathetic, humiliated. He was too ashamed.

Cogita gently picks Volo up and gives him a hug. She’s just happy that he’s still alive. She was starting to miss him.

Volo fluffs up in embarrassment but nuzzles her back.

She then asks Volo about Emmet’s relationship to him. Cogita hasn’t seen Volo care so much about another human before. Volo gets a bit shy and says that Emmet’s his friend. His first real friend. Cogita doesn’t push any further but it’s clear she suspects there’s something more going on between the two, at least on Volo’s end. So she gently urges Volo to just talk to Emmet. She knows they have much to discuss.

With some reluctance, Volo lets himself be shooed away to rejoin Emmet.

When he returns to Emmet’s side, Volo immediately apologizes. For the pain he put Emmet through. For everything. This whole mess is his fault. But he’s taking responsibility. He’ll fix this, not to break his curse, but because it’s what needs to be done.

However, Emmet softly asks why Volo even bothered helping him. Volo is quiet for a moment before he tells Emmet that he didn’t want him to die. For what it's worth, he considers Emmet his friend. He cares about him. And he’ll understand if Emmet hates him forever; it’s what he deserves in the end.

To Volo’s shock, Emmet forgives him and hugs Volo as some of the shadows fade from his haggard form. Volo returns the hug, a weight lifting from his back.

Emmet then asks how Volo got him out. A bit of life returns to his eyes when Volo informs him that Ingo is the one who saved him. A teary smile starts to form as he is told about how Ingo freaked out and literally ripped him out of the Edelwood and proceeded to cry over him a whole bunch. But then Ingo left to confront the Beast.

Emmet’s smile drops.

And then he snaps.

He did what?!

Emmet’s eyes go from dark and dull to practically incandescent with rage.

He almost had Ingo back! He was this close! And now his idiot brother is doing some self-sacrificial bullshit to make up for his mistakes?! No. Fuck no! He’s not letting that happen, not when they could have just left together!! He can’t let Ingo just leave again after everything!

Though he’s still weak and wobbly from his close call, he powers through his hopelessness and marches off to drag Ingo out of whatever stupid horseshit he’s gotten himself into.

Rei tries to stop him.

“You’re no good to your brother if you’re dead!”

“I won’t be any good to him if I stay here either,” Emmet snaps.

Emmet thanks Akari, Rei, and Cogita for their help and limps away into the night to find Ingo.

Volo starts to follow, but stops and flies back to Cogita to give her a hug. He thanks her for everything, which makes her ask why he’s doing this. He just says that he doesn’t think he’s coming back after this. He’s thinking of leaving Hisui for good; he’s done it more than enough harm. Cogita hugs him back and wishes him luck.

Volo gives her one last sad look before dutifully accompanying Emmet.

As Ingo marches towards his confrontation, he realizes that the lantern needs to be kept away from the Beast. So he hides the lantern in a tree hollow, marking its location and covering its light with his hat.

And then Ingo confronts the Beast. It seems amused to find him so quiet. When it refers to him as the Woodsman, Ingo is quick to snap at it to not call him that. He’s done doing its dirty work. He asks if it was ever going to tell him the truth about the Edelwood and if his brother’s soul was ever in the lantern to begin with.

The Beast just laughs at him for finally cottoning onto the truth. And it is not even the least bit sorry for it. It taunts Ingo, reminding him he’s been at this for years. He may as well be guilty too.

“Listen to you! Such idealism when you willfully blinded yourself to it all!” it crows, rising above Ingo.

In fury, Ingo attacks the Beast with his axe. Three years of constant woodcutting has made him far stronger and adept with his weapon. He scores several good hits, chopping off some of the Beast’s branches and leaving multiple deep wounds in its body. At one point, he even slams the axe right into its face, stomping it in further for good measure.

But the Beast is wily. It manages to distract Ingo just long enough to slam its tail down on him, stunning him. Before he can collect himself, the Beast crushes Ingo into submission. Ingo still has it in him to furiously struggle until the Beast leans in close to his ear to really twist the knife. It tells Ingo that this is all his own damn fault, that he’s a terrible brother, that his real brother, the one that he deliberately hurt, will now die because of his foolishness. His brother will die rightfully hating him. What kind of monster is he?

Crushing guilt stabs Ingo’s heart. Dazed and weakened from his injuries, he whimpers as his rage is swallowed by the chasm of despair it had always been hiding. He starts sobbing and that’s enough to make the Edelwood vines start creeping over him. The Beast watches on in satisfaction. It’s only a matter of time before this sapling grows into a full tree…

In the meantime, Emmet and Volo are on Ingo’s trail. They find the hidden lantern in the tree hollow because of Ingo’s hat. Neither of them considers this a promising sign. They take both items and carry on.

It doesn’t take long for Emmet and Volo to stumble into the battle-ruined clearing. It’s only when Emmet raises the lantern that they find Ingo half-embedded in a forming Edelwood tree, his body stuck in a sick parody of his signature point and call pose. He looks dead. When the two start breaking the branches off him, Ingo wakes up enough to reveal deadened, dull eyes. He weakly smiles at Emmet and tells him to just leave him. He’s not worth it. He’s failed him as a brother.

But Emmet won’t have it. He tearfully tells Ingo to shut the fuck up, that he’s not abandoning him, not when he can still bring him home. They’re going home together dammit! Not when they’re this close! No amount of depression is going to change that! Ingo lets out a weak laugh at this and says it was good to see Emmet one last time. Then he closes his eyes and his body falls limp.

Emmet is furiously sobbing at this point, begging Ingo to wake up. Volo tells him they can’t stop, they need to free him first.

Then the Beast makes its reappearance. It demands the lantern and much like Ingo before him, Emmet refuses to hand it over.

So the Beast suggests making a deal. Ingo is dying. But the Beast can put his soul into the lantern to keep him alive. All Emmet has to do is keep the flame lit to maintain his brother’s soul. It even tosses Ingo’s axe as his feet.

Emmet takes the axe, considering it.

Volo hisses at Emmet that this is bad, he knows a bad deal when he sees one! He was a merchant for Arceus’s sake!

But Emmet has to stop and think about it. What if he can’t bring Ingo home in time? What if they can’t get home? What if they’re trapped here to wander for eternity?

What if? What if? What if?

And then Emmet does something the Beast doesn’t expect.

Emmet asks why.

The Beast is taken aback at this.

It insists it’s trying to help Emmet but he’s not having it.

“What does it matter whose soul is in it?? I will not cage him like some fancy Pidove! If you care so much, why don’t you put your own goddamned soul in here and…”

Emmet stops, making the connection.

“…this is your soul. Isn’t it.”

The lantern holds no one’s soul but the Beast’s.

The Beast’s form goes wild and turns into an eldritch shadow. It tries to terrorize Emmet into doing what it wants, sucking out all the light and looming over him, a great monster with horrid glowing eyes pinning him in a spotlight stare as it asks,

“ArE yOU ReaDy tO SEe trUE daRkNEss?”

But Emmet’s glare just narrows,

“Are you?”

Instead of supplicating, Emmet grabs the lantern by its back handle and raises it high into the air as if he’s about to smash it on the ground.

The Beast immediately begs him not to, shrinking back to its original size.

Emmet just scoffs at it and tosses the lantern aside like so much trash. He walks back to Ingo and starts ripping off Edelwood, cutting them off with the axe when necessary.

The Beast tries to grab its lantern when a razor leaf from Lady Lilligant cuts it off. All around the clearing, the forms of the Nobles, Wardens, and the clans emerge from the shadows.

They’ve been watching.

They’ve heard everything.

They’re done with the Beast.

The Nobles surround the Beast, cutting it off from the lantern.

Paws, claws, and hands reach in and help Emmet dig Ingo out. The people who once believed Ingo wronged them understand what happened. This is their forgiveness and their apology.

Adaman frees a leg. Irida tears off a piece of the trunk. The Wardens help carefully pick Ingo free. Even Melli carves away encroaching vines with a knife.

With a final crack, the Edelwood releases Ingo and he tumbles into Emmet’s arms, his tattered coat left caught in the tree.

Emmet takes a moment to briefly hug his brother’s limp body, tears of exhausted relief gathering in his eyes as he whispers, “I’ve got you, Ingo… I’ve got you…”

Looking up at the Hisuians, he nods at them with a thankful smile.

“I’m taking my brother and going home,” Emmet then announces to the clearing. He tosses the axe aside and hauls the unconscious Ingo up on his shoulders, carrying him off without another word, Volo flying close behind. He walks past the silent clans and Nobles, who step aside and make a path for them.

The Beast makes one last move for the lantern but it’s snatched away by Lady Sneasler. Sneering, she holds it up for it to see one last time before she brings her other claw smashing through it with a Dire Claw.

The Beast shrieks and is no more.

“Goodbye, Emmet.”

“Goodbye, Volo.”

Back in the real world, a disaster has befallen the Nimbasa Subway system. An earthquake struck central Unova that was bad enough to destroy parts of the tunnel infrastructure.

Emergency crews are combing the tunnels and come across the ruined section. A search and rescue Pokémon starts digging at the rubble when a hand reaches out. Dragging himself out is a bloodied Emmet, carrying an unconscious Ingo on his back. He wheezes for help before collapsing.

In the ambulance, Emmet reaches over and clasps Ingo’s hand. He feels a reassuring squeeze in return and he drifts off.

Emmet wakes up in the hospital to find Eelektross, Chandelure, and an unfamiliar yet oddly familiar Gliscor watching him expectantly. Then he remembers everything and sits up, shouting for Ingo.

A weak groan has Emmet looking over and finding his brother in the bed next to him. Ingo has a small smile on his face and welcomes him back. Emmet starts to cry and tries to get up, but has to stop when his ribs protest.

Ingo just chuckles and tells Emmet that they both have broken ribs and they have to take it easy. They reach out and hold hands again.

Emmet wonders if everything in the Unknown really happened. Ingo just smiles and says that everyone is still trying to figure out how he’d reappeared from thin air on Emmet’s back. So that ought to answer that question.

Emmet however is more amazed by the fact that Ingo is smiling! Like genuinely smiling!! Holy shit!!

Back in the Unknown, the Hunter picks up the Woodsman’s axe and returns it to its rightful place on their back.

Volo then flies down to rest on the Hunter’s shoulder. Volo asks if they’re ready, admitting that he’s apprehensive but they’ll figure this out. The Hunter simply nods, smiling faintly despite their own worries. They reach the Old Man of the Mountain’s cabin, who warmly welcomes them in.

A golden hoof taps against a point in space-time and the distortion that jammed Hisui into the Unknown undoes itself. All over Hisui, the barrier cutting it off lifts, revealing a full landscape once more.

In the Obsidian Fieldlands, all of the Galaxy team is in the middle of frantically studying another abnormally long-lasting space-time distortion when it finally begins clearing up on its own. It reveals a confused Laventon, Akari, Rei, and Cogita, a bit thrown off by the presence of so many people gaping at them. Then Laventon starts crying and tackle-hugs a startled Cyllene, overjoyed to see her. She sighs and pats him on the back. Akari and Rei give Cogita supportive smiles as they excitedly introduce her to the Galaxy Team. She looks ready for a new chapter in her life.

A festival is held between the Diamond and Pearl clans, celebrating the breaking of the curse, the end of the Beast’s reign, and the end of the space-time distortion that transported them all away. A very human Adaman and Irida share a toast to having thumbs again, while their once again Pokémon-shaped Leafeon and Glaceon do the same with some berries.

Elsewhere, a human Volo makes his way down an unfamiliar path, humbled and ready to try again. He wears a few shed Starly feathers in his hair. He perks up at seeing a sign for Nimbasa City. Realizing where he is, he bursts out laughing and runs to the city. He has a friend to find.

(Before his curse was broken, Volo was asked where he’d like to be put back. Volo just sadly thinks of Emmet and how he’ll never see him again, of how badly he screwed up Hisui, and decides he doesn’t care where or when he’s left. Just… put him somewhere he can be useful. It’s the best he can hope for. Arceus agrees. And sends Volo to the future. In Unova.)

Lady Sneasler pulls on Ingo’s battered coat with a sweeping flourish, finishing it off by twirling Emmet’s hat into the air and catching it perfectly on her head. Looking into a discarded mirror she nicked from the City, she nods in satisfaction at the placement of her two most cherished objects.

Hefting her basket full of curiously watching Sneasel kits onto her shoulders, she replicates a familiar point-and-call pose and shouts for all to hear,

“ALL ABOARD!”

THE END

Part 13+ - to be added later

#pokemon #pokemon legends arceus #pokemon black and white #pokemon black 2 and white 2 #over the garden wall #under the city streets au #submas #subway boss emmet #subway boss ingo #warden ingo #woodsman ingo #volo #starly

[p0rchc0ll4ps3]

WHY IS HE SO ALLURING. WHY IS THIS PLOTLINE LIKE CRACK TO ME??? The TRAGEDY of it all MAN fuckkkkk I'm gonna die.

Here, have incoherent headcanons lore drop about eyes and Kim

Ok so like like. Kim loved him and never told him and eyes fucking died thinking he was no one's favorite person AND he died never having told KIM how much he meant to him so Kim (until Harry) also keeps on believing he's no one's favorite person bc eyes never FUCKING TOLD HIM ANYTHING and they kept it IMPERSONAL and they knew each other for 13 FUCKING YEARS and they knew each other SO WELL and they were brothers but all that emotional shit and how much they meant to each other they didn't talk about at all

And look. If eyes had survived the gunshot wound. If he'd fought off the infection. If he'd lived.

Maybe they would've finally opened up to one another

But eyes died and Kim never stopped blaming himself for his death and it's been 6 fucking years and Kim is still grieving. OKAY???

AND THEN KIM MEETS SOMEONE WHOS LIKE THE SUNRISE ON HIS BLEAK PALE WORLD AND THE FUCKER GOES AND GETS SHOT IN THE THE EXACT SAME PLACE

When Harry got that infection, it was eyes dying all over again. And Kim almost completely lost it

But this time. This time Harry lived

So this time. Kim will never let an opportunity to tell Harry how he feels about him go like that ever again

And better yet. Kim knows how much he needs Harry as much as Harry needs Kim

They will be. Okay. Dammit

No coz (I'm continuing) Viorel is such a guy who on the outside is so chill and loose and happy and fun all the time. He's reckless he's impulsive he's a lot at once. He's shit at his job, despite everything. He's so so so so cool. Damn he's cool. Together. Collected. Takes things without blinking. (Like if a bomb goes off he'll just stand there and he won't flinch.) And he keeps on smiling. Keeps on going. Never seems to worry or fear. Never upset. Always fine and happy and okay and despite the way he seems cold and despite the way he seems to disappear when Kim's not looking for him or at him, Kim feels good with him. Eyes pries him open. Gets him to loosen up. Gets him to be playful gets him to stop being so damn serious. And he's smart and he's capable and he's perceptive and he doesn't give up and he's such a steady force. Such a steady, pushing force, that Kim starts to figure himself out. Stops being so stuck up. Stops being such a bitch at everyone. Learns how to use his rage right, learns how to use his authority right, and its eyes who guides him, who pushes him forward, who helps Kim mold himself into who he is today

So when eyes throws himself in the line of fire for the fifth time in a day or drives the Coupris way too fast or throws himself into dangerous situations with ease and calm cool, Kim thinks nothing of it. This is just Segal. This is just what he does. He's got it together. He doesn't care. He's cool

But in reality, eyes is passively suicidal as fuck. He's depressed. He has ptsd. He saw his father die in front of him when martinaise was bombed bc he was there for it when he was 6 and then he was homeless with his mother for another 6 years until they got an apartment when he was 12. And he's been working since he could work (probably around 6, really. Money needed to be made and the factories never pay enough, especially to an immigrant mother who can barely speak the language.) he's been living with his mother ever since. Even when he's 43. He can't keep girlfriends bc they don't like that he never takes them home. The 57th hates him bc he's different, because he's half graadian, because he's adhd as fuck and he's always late and he's always forgetting shit and because he doesn't seem to take anything seriously. He's struggling in his job and his struggling in his life and he was considering quitting when he met Kim. But the bills need to be payed. And then he and Kim stay in skip squad (juvie cops) for those entire 13 years bc they never move them out of it. Bc eyes is not well liked and bc Kim looks seolite so they're racist as fuck towards him

So really in reality Viorel is really bad off. And if he hadnt gotten shot and then died of septic shock from infection, he might've killed himself

So yeah. I'm obsessed with him

#c4rg0f1l3s #I'm putting it in the tag I do not care #disco elysium #kim kitsuragi #viorel segal #eyes disco elysium #he's SO. he's SOOOO #I can't fucking I'm just I'm frothing at the mouth here #I'm vio pilled as fuck #love using this nickname coz vio is feminine in Romanian #it would be viorele #but Kim doesn't call him that #jesus Christ. puts him in my MOUTH #grrrrrgghhhghrhrgghh <-dog shaking its toy noises #fuck what do I tag this #suicidal ideation #suicidal thoughts #incoherent lore drop on my phone at 1am when I'm delirious with sleep deprivation

[sery-chan-13]

Letters Never Sent

Ch. 5 of “My Sunshine” [TreechxReader)

Warnings: swearing

Dear (Y/N),

Even though I can't send letters to you, I've written you so many. It's your 18th birthday. Happy Birthday, Sunshine... 7 years. It's gone by painfully slow. I see traces of you in the woods when I go out. It's like we're still out there. Us as kids, I mean. Which makes sense because your 'father' killed any sense of me being a kid when he took you away from me. Even after seven years, it replays in my head. Your screams and sobs, your hand being pulled from mine. I hate it when you cry. I told you if anyone ever made you cry, I'd hurt them back, the same way they hurt you. I vowed to you I would. And I always keep my word. Hunger Games are coming up. It's my last year in the reaping. I wonder if you've forgotten about me? Has some Capitol prick taken my place? Do you make them sweets? Do they walk you home in the dark and daylight? Do they care? Never mind.... I don't think I want to know

Yours,

Treech

Signed, and put into the drawer he kept everything he wrote for you.

—

Dear Lumberjack,

7 years. 7 miserable years without you. I'm 18 today. But it means nothing now. I used to think that 18 was so far away. I know I can't send these, but when I go back home, I want to give these to you. And I will. But I can't help but wonder if you have found a new best friend. A new person to walk home, holding their hand? Have you brought them to our spot and hugged them like they are going to disappear ñ? Does your Ma love them like she loved me? Do you miss me? I miss you. Every day. I write you letters often. I'm going to beg father to let me send this. Maybe he'll feel bad. The games are coming up. You've already turned 18. Last year in the reaping. I'm a mentor this year. I don't want to be. Father keeps mentioning something that makes me want to throw up. He says, "this year as a mentor, maybe you will finally kill off any ties and feelings you have towards district seven." I have a feeling I know what this means. If I manage to get this to you, please please be careful. I miss you. It never goes away. You always take up space in my mind.

Missing you more than you could ever know,

Your Sunshine ☼

Your father scoffed at the mere request of you sending it. You sighed, putting the sealed envelope in the bottom drawer of your desk, filled with letters just like it.

—

The notebook he kept hidden was full of poetry and thoughts. Who knew he of all people would keep such a thing?

The sun doesn't go away. It simply hides behind the clouds, waiting to shine down on us to make the plants grow their roots and warm us all. Waiting to bring light down to the darkness. That's why I call you Sunshine. Your smile beamed down, warming up and chasing away any darkness that surrounds me. You brought me comfort, and you, being the sun, made things root into me. Feelings that coil tightly around my heart like a vine. The feelings don't go away. With every passing year it gets worse.

It feels like you’ve become this… ghost in the woods. Haunting me. I see these image of you with other guys and I hate it. I’m jealous. I saw you on the TV one of the few times we had it. It was down at the bar(no, don’t worry sunshine, I don’t drink. It’s just the only place in town with ice and air conditioning we common folk can get into) You look… gorgeous… the same… but different. You were smiling, but it wasn’t the same smile that warms me and drives the darkness away. It was empty. The sun shines in the Capitol, but the smog makes it dull and bleak. Is that what the Capitol has done to you, sunshine? On the TV there was a boy next to you. He looked… nice. The way he he smiled at you. He was holding your hand. He held your hand and hugged you. I wonder if he walked you home after. I can’t lie, I wished it would stop. I wished that it was me. God, I stayed waiting to see when he’d get his fucking hands off. I’m jealous, I admit. But a Capitol boy can’t make you smile, this I know. And I will never be jealous about who you send out that smile to. Because I am the one who’s seen the real one.

The notebook was hidden. Any thoughts he had he wrote and hid away. One day he’d give it to you.

—-

Dearest forest boy,

They call me the Capitol Sweetheart now. People accept me more than Sejanus and I wonder why. Is it because he’s outspoken about his thoughts while I only write them and speak them to him quite in the library? I don’t want to be the Capitol sweetheart. I want to be… your sweetheart. Back in seven. Back home. I figured now would be as good a time as any to write this feeling down. I love you. Not in the same way I said when we were young. Maybe it’s stupid. You could be a whole new person now, and I’m only in love with the idea of who I think you’ve become, or that you’ve stayed the same. I write this now because I shouldn’t feel this way. It’s not fair to you. But I do.

Love,

Your dearest Sunshine

Softly placing the sealed envelope in the drawer you sighed. Why me?

——

My dearest trouble maker,

I spend most of my days out in the forest. Working. At first I went with Pa, but eventually got old enough to go out on my own. I still go with him occasionally. He ain’t getting any younger but he’s so damn hard headed a rock would turn to rubble if it hit him. But I go off myself most times. Gives me a chance to get away from the pitying stares I get. The whispers. You’d think that after seven years I’d stop being the talk of the town, but unfortunately not much happens in seven, so I can’t ever escape it. I go out and write you letters or my thoughts, sometimes I write you poetry like a fool. Then it’s my secret. And no one will know. I hate not being able to send you anything. Maybe when you come back… no, when you come back, I will give you all of these.

Sincerely yours,

Your lumberjack

#×reader #treech tbosas #treech x reader #awww they write cute things to eachother #fluff #coriolanus snow #sejanus plinth #jealous boyyyy #ooh jealous jealous jealous boyyy

[phantom-of-the-501st]

Episode 12 Thoughts

Spoilers for TBB Season 2

AAAAAAAAHHHHHH

Omg this episode was good but it hurt so much! 😭 We got Crosshair back but at what cost? 🥲

I'm gonna write this as I rewatch the episode so let's go!

The opening is so bleak, especially with the soundtrack and the sepia hue that everything in the opening shot has.

Seeing clones being forced out of their role hurts. 😭

Love how we all thought that it was going to be a clone Lieutenant.

It wasn't. It was a fucking arsehole instead. 😡

Ugh, I missed Crosshair so much. 😭

"I don't like used equipment"

BITCH THE FUCKING AUDACITY! 🤬

Mayday's beard is ✨️ fabulous ✨️

Also a clone named Mayday? That's just asking for him to get into trouble. 😭

Why do I recognise the name Veetch??? Have we heard it before or am I just making stuff up now???

I knew something was going to happen to Mayday but let's be real, we all fell in love with him in under half a second. 🥲

I can see why DBB loved him!

The slight hesitation before he said "Crosshair". 🥲 Cody was the last person to use his name. It probably still throws him off when people actually want to use it.

The clone helmets arranged on the boxes. 😭

The clone designs with the wraps!!! 🤩 It's kind of giving Egyptian Mummy Chic but I'm not mad about it. It looks awesome!

Ice vultures. Just what this planet needed.

I was right about the tower shot being this episode!

THE PANIC I FELT WHEN CROSS HURT HIS EYES

Ngl, it's not often you see blood in SW animation. But it was used really well in this episode! Enhances the creepy vibe.

R.I.P Hexx and Veetch. 😔

THE RAGE I FEEL EVERY TIME LIEUTENANT FUCKFACE TURNS UP

Crosshair I don't need you stepping on pressure mines!!! 😭

I actually love this moment so much. Low on action, high on tension, good dialogue.

Crosshair talking about CF 99 😭😭😭

The raiders sound almost Tusken. 🤔 Wonder if they're Tuskens that left Tatooine and evolved to a lifestyle on this planet or whether they evolved completely separately.

Crosshair, mate. I understand the explosion plan but I don't need you setting off an avalanche.

The way they slide down the hill! 🤣

Ugh everything in this episode just makes me sad.

"We're good soldiers. We followed orders. And for what? " 🥲

CROSSHAIR WHAT WAS I SAYING ABOUT AVALANCHES

Crosshair looking genuinely terrified always hurts

If anyone comes out with the "Crosshair likes working for the Empire" bullshit- 🤬

The way he puts Mayday's helmet on to make sure his head is protected 😭

Jeez, they weren't kidding about "heartbreaking". This is painful to watch.

This entire episode is proof that while Cross may be an arsehole, he isn't completely heartless or evil like some people want to believe.

THE WAY THEY'RE HUDDLED UP AND SHAKING YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME 😭

He gave his rifle to Mayday as a crutch

THE PAIN IN HIS VOICE WHEN HE SAYS "HELP HIM" AHHHHH I FEEL SICK WHY DOES THIS SHOW HAVE TO HURT SO MUCH??? 😭😭😭

MAYDAY NOOOOO 😭

Crosshair is so fucking angry

GOOD! GET ANGRY! LEAVE THE EMPIRE!

The bird circling and Crosshair looking over at Mayday, panicked. He knew that they were just going to leave him to be scavenged. 😥

GOODBYE LIEUTENANT FUCKFACE!

CROSSHAIR YOU POOR THING! 😢

He's so broken and defeated. Help.

The next bullet point is an accurate recreation of how I reacted the first time to the ending. 👇

WHAT? NO NO NO NO NO NO YOU CAN'T END IT THERE! YOU CAN'T END IT THERE!!! Oh, it's not the end... wait what... oh no I've changed my mind I'VE CHANGED MY MIND GO BACK GO BACK THIS IS WORSE THIS IS SO MUCH WORSE

Parallel to when we see him wake up in Ep 3 ☹️

FUCK NO

DON'T MAKE HIM ANOTHER CLONE X!!!

LEAVE HIM ALONE YOU BASTARDS!!!

Someone come and save him 😭

I feel sick. Everything hurts. 😥

So errr.... hahaha... ha... ouch...

This episode was so good but omg it was so painful! People weren't kidding when they said "bleak" and "heartbreaking". ☹️

I can see why DBB loved Mayday so much. He was great! I knew it wouldn't end well for him but it's impossible not to love him. But the fact that Crosshair collapsed before he could bury him means that he was probably still left to the vultures. 😭 It's poignant really. The clones don't get a heroic end. After everything they did, the Empire are just gonna cast them out and leave them to rot...

And Crosshair! 😭 That man was in so much turmoil this episode. Him opening up to Mayday just the tiniest fraction by telling him his name and squadron. The quiet fear when he stepped on the pressure mine. The panic when he was covered by the avalanche. The panic when he dug himself out. The fear when he found Mayday. The anguish as he carried Mayday all the way back. The heartbreaking pain when they were huddled up and shivering. The desperation when he asked for them to get a medic. The anguish of "help him". The panic when he knows that they're going to leave Mayday for the vultures. The pure, visceral, seething rage when he kills Nolan. The pain when he collapses. The fear and delirium when he wakes up in the lab. It's all too much.

And what breaks my heart even more is the close up of his face after he collapses. He looks asleep, calm. The only time in this entire episode when he actually looks peaceful is when he's passed out from exhaustion!

This man is going through it so badly and it's so painful to watch. I'm scared to see what's going to happen to him but if the later episodes are of the same quality as this one then the end of this season is going to be incredible.

Tagging @snarkyfina @saturn-sends-hugs and @phis-writing because they normally want to see people's thoughts on this!

And also tagging @eriexplosion if they want to add anything. But I know that they are also suffering after this episode. 🥲

Edit: Just went back and fixed a few typos I didn't realise I'd made. Probably still missed some but this episode stressed me out too much to care. 🤣

#SO MUCH PAIN #SOOOOO MUCH PAIN #it hurts #MAYDAY NOOOO 😭 #i'm gonna disappear and watch mando before i get spoiled #(and to cheer me up) #but i'll be back to see what everyone else thinks afterwards! #i assume there'll be a lot of crying #star wars #the bad batch #the bad batch season 2 spoilers #tbb spoilers #the bad batch spoilers #crosshair #ct 9904

[ashintheairlikesnow]

I think it also probably plays a role that Vince and Kauri are a bit too similar for comfort, right? Vince is like a reflection of who Kauri really is, all the trauma and escapism and drug abuse — he is just much worse at hiding it both from others and from himself. It probably doesn’t sit right with Kauri just how much of Vince he sees in himself.

Peel away the self-delusion, and Kauri’s life is just as bleak as Vince’s. Even after Kauri’s escape, Vince is still a living reminder of everything Kauri is trying to run away from. No matter how hard he tries, Kauri is still Vincent Shield. He must hate that.

Let me give you a little somethin'-somethin' that I wrote once but never fit into anything so it just sat in my word docs gathering dust...

-

Vince looks up from the papers spread across the table as the door opens and closes. Nat waves one hand. "Don't worry about it, it's Kauri."

"How can you tell?"

"I know what it sounds like when he comes in." She doesn't elaborate and doesn't look up, either. She highlights, bright yellow line across a series of bolded black numbers. "This is the grant we get that helps cover the cost of food. With the recession, they're cutting the amount we receive by about a third."

"Uh-huh." Vince looks towards the doorway, watching, endlessly curious about the strange hostile clone of himself that sometimes sleeps here, more often elsewhere. "I'll cover it. The check can come through Dynastic Blood Technologies, they donate annually to you anyway."

"Vince, are any of your shell companies real?" Nat has a smile in her voice, leaning her cheek against her hand as she makes a note in pen.

"All of them are. Legally speaking. But Dynastic actually is a real research company. Trying to cure hemophilia, I think. I don't remember. I just went in on it as a co-founder, I don't remember much about the day to day. Yulia does all the detail stuff."

"Hm. So-... Okay, moving on to this-"

Vince flinches when Kauri pops into the doorframe from sheer surprise. Those blue eyes skip him entirely, refusing to land, and he doesn't blame him - direct focus tends to make Kauri black out and wake up with one hell of a headache. Or so he says. Vince has only seen it happen once.

"Hey, Nat."

"Hi, Kauri. You staying the night this time?"

"Nah. Just in dire need of a shower and some food that didn't come from McDonald's. Is Jake home?"

"Nope. Class."

"Damn. It's not Tuesday?"

"Wednesday."

Vince blinks. "You don't know what day it is?"

Kauri still won't look at him, but the smile drops off his face. "Can't read, asshole. Counts for calendars, too. Sometimes I lose fucking track of the date. They wiped all that smart shit away."

"Right. Sorry."

"Apology appreciated but maybe just fuck off next time you want to ask stupid questions. That's why I'm here, remember?"

"Kauri, be nice," Nat warns. "To Vince and to yourself." She looks up now, and Vince looks at her while fiddling with the travel mug in his hands. He undoes the lid and snaps it back. Finally takes a sip. The burn down his throat feels good.

Kauri snorts. "Whatever. What about Chris, is he around?"

"He is, but... He's having a hard day. Nightmares and then I did something wrong at breakfast, not sure what, he didn't seem to be able to explain it. But he's a little shaky."

"Oh. Should I... leave him alone, or..."

"No, honey. Go on up there, he'll be thrilled to see you. Just don't turn the light on. I think he's in Jake's room."

"Cool. How long is Sexiest Man of the Year going to be here?"

Vince groans, taking another drink. "Don't talk about that. Someone on my management team off paid People Magazine, I swear."

"Probably."

Vince feels his face warm and stares down at the paperwork on the kitchen table. "... Kauri, listen-"

"Nope."

"Vince and I are finishing up," Nat interjects smoothly. "He should be out of here in an hour or so, and we'll go out to lunch."

"Great. Hey, Vince, I wanted to ask you something."

Vince looks up, and Kauri is looking off to the side, his profile what Vince sees. Nearly identical to his own, years ago, at this age. Just with longer hair and paler skin. "What?"

"Is drinking yourself to death helping?"

He blinks and looks down at his travel mug, then back up. "This is coffee."

"Hm, not all of it though, huh? So is it helping? The liquor? Make you feel better, help you sleep at night?"

Some vicious hurt creature inside Vince lashes out, and before he can stop himself he hears his own voice asking, "Not really. Does fucking everyone who looks at you help you?"

Nat opens her mouth to protest or stop them, but before she can, Kauri laughs. The brittle bright laughter rings through the room, and he turns away, headed for the stairs.

"Can't hurt me by calling me what I already know I am, movie star," He says, carelessly, tossed over his shoulder as he takes the steps two at a time. "Hurts way worse to remember what I'm not."

Vince stares after him, then takes another swig from the travel mug. Whiskey and coffee, the blend of burn and bitterness.

"... Why is he better at that than me?" He mutters.

Nat looks over at him, then back towards the entryway, listening to the creak of Kauri walking across the old wooden hall above their heads. "He practices," She says, voice low. "All the time."

#erase to control #vincent shield is not a hero #traumatized whumpee #whump #box boy universe #bbu #box boy #runaway whumpee #past abuse #alcoholism tw #slut-shaming