#why was this sitting in my drafts since march lol

[wiitchkiller]

Theory: We all know sjm plans to write more stories about crescent city with the 97 other characters she has introduced, right??

I have a feeling that House of Many Waters (i assume this would be the title of book after HOFAS) would be the end for Hunt and Bruce's side of the story.

By then, all major houses would have been covered already as titles. But sjm loves continuity in her titles (cant say the same for the covers lmao), so my theory is by the end of the 4th book, the 4 houses would be dissolved as it has been mentioned that this current system is problematic. I believe after the asteri are gone or something, the 4 houses will be split to more parts that are more fair and representative of the creatures. And those new houses would become the title of her next books in the series.

#why was this sitting in my drafts since march lol #personally not a fan of many waters being a possible title but this is sjm #her titles do not make much sense tbh #maybe bryce would become little mermaid in this one #sarah j maas #sjm #sjm theory #crescent city #house of earth and blood #house of sky and breath #house of flame and shadow #house of many waters #bryce quinlan #hunt athalar #ruhn danaan

[heartofwritiing]

home is wherever you are tonight

paring: cc!wilbur soot x fem!reader

summary: its your birthday, a day you dread every year due to bad memories, and wilbur manages to change your mindset.

authors note: this has been sitting in my drafts since march and i forgot about it oops. this is completely self indulgent. Ive dreaded my birthday for the past five years because of personal reasons… i thought maybe writing a non-shitty fake birthday would make me feel better so, it did lol. enjoy!! :)

warnings: self indulgent, mentions of childhood trama, negative past events, mentions of toxic family, fluff, Wilbur being the cutest-best boyfriend, hurt-comfort, yes the title is a lyric from a lizzy mcalpine song.. unedited!

The day had come. the day you dreaded every year for as long as you could remember. it was your birthday.

Most people would be elated about turning another year older, to celebrate but not you. Instead, it filled you with utter disinterest and resentment. To you, it was just another day on the calendar.

Ever since you could remember you’ve just hated your birthday. Each year just felt like they got worse and worse with the number of times You had been let down. Whether it was by family drama or people just forgetting. It was the same every year. So when you finally moved away from your toxic relatives you pretty much forget about it. Only remembering when you'd get a text from your parents to wish you a happy birthday. At least they remembered now that you were gone...

You were relieved when no one at work had brought it up. you never really talked to your coworkers about your personal life, you weren't that type of person. Still, you were grateful the only attention you got today was from one of your peers Matt, asking about the printer in the office not working right.

When you walked into your flat, what you weren’t expecting was too see your boyfriend standing near the door waiting for you.

“why didn’t you tell me it was your birthday?” Wilbur asks in a slightly offended tone.

The front door hasn’t even shut yet and he’s caught you completely off guard with his question. Your heart drops in your stomach.

“hello to you too,” you snort, putting your bag down and sliding your jacket off. "And how'd you even know?" Avoiding the question. Cause that will make this better.

he sighs.

“Answer the question please, love,”

You’re toeing off the uncomfortable shoes you were required to wear at your job as you blankly bink back at him.

You can tell by the frowned expression on his face that he wasn’t just gonna let you drop this anytime soon. His arms are crossed over his sweater, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows as his curls fall around his eyes.

“maybe because it's not a big deal,” you shrugged. Wilbur stops you with a hand on your shoulder before you can escape to your shared room. It wasn't forceful but gentle, his eyes asking you to stay, talk, anything. You just wanted to go to bed and sleep until your shift tomorrow and just forget about this whole day.

"What do you mean by that?" he asks. "I don't particularly like my birthday but still celebrate with friends, family, and loved ones."

There it was.

You wanted to avoid this.

"Look, I don't want to pressure you into talking about this, you can tell me when you're ready. I can tell how uncomfortable you got when I asked you outright why you didn't say anything about it being your birthday, I'm sorry..."

You could tell he was just confused and who could blame him. You had only been dating for about a year and finally moved in together last month. He didn't want to pressure you into anything you weren't ready for, which was one of the many things you adored about him. Always so patient and thoughtful about your feelings and well-being.

There was no avoiding it now as he asked the question. Your heart beating in your ears.

“Why don’t you like your birthday, love?”

“well…” you began, but you could feel the lump in your throat forming as you thought carefully how to put it. You clear your throat and take a deep breath. “I just, have a lot of trauma revolving around today,”

Wilbur has moved slowly towards you now, almost like you were a spooked animal and he was trying to calm you. He listened carefully as you spoke slowly.

“my parents fought a lot growing up, and even on my birthday they just didn’t seem to care, even for one day, so i mostly spent my birthdays alone.”

The look in his eyes says it all. He feels so heartbroken for you. You collapsed into his chest and he wrapped you in his arms, squeezing you firmly and you felt the weight in your chest fading.

"Well listen, I got you your favorite type of cake, a good bottle of wine, not that cheap shit, the really nice one we liked. we're gonna sit on the couch and eat, and you can tell me all about your day." he pauses only to bring your face out from his chest to look you in your eyes. "and then, we're gonna cuddle and I'm gonna tell you how much I love and appreciate you."

With that, he strokes your cheeks with his thumbs and kisses your nose softly. You swear that press of his lips was what made you cave. You began to break down in front of him.

Wilbur's hands seem to be the only thing keeping you upright at the moment. If he wasn't holding you, you were sure you would have fallen to your knees by now. You sob silently as you take his wrists in your hands but don't remove them from your cheeks. The intensity of the long work day and all the recurring memories this day brought you every year, combined with Wilbur's sweet gestures and words made you break.

You felt everything come down on you all at once, yet there Wilbur was, always waiting for you at the end of the day. Always there to comfort you and support you. So these weren’t sad tears no, they were happy tears. Finally, you found someone who cherished you and cared for you enough.

-

@trashcanduck @merakiwi @addxms @ax-y10 @highstonedcat

#wilbur soot x reader #fanfiction #wilbur soot x fem!reader #cc!wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot fanfiction #x reader #fluff #mcyt imagine #birthday fic 🥳 #self insert

[another-lost-mc]

JES YOU UPDATED, the kids miss you/j

I've been busy doing a lot of nothing, if that makes sense. Well, maybe not nothing - a random assortment of rl and blog odds-and-ends that don't seem very productive but I'm going to call it self-care. lol

(read more cause this got longer than I thought it would.)

I don't usually take March Break off work, but my empty schedule this year surprised me and I didn't really know what to do with myself. I spent the first few days fending off a persistent headache, then I spent some time re-watching Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel while I worked on some crossover/fusion potential with OM. Today the headache is back and I'm dog-sitting which shouldn't be as distracting as it is. (She's only a little Boston Terrier but my cats get all worked up about it even though they're the ones stalking her around the house for no reason.)

I've also been playing Honkai Star Rail. I have no idea what I'm doing but it's kind of fun. I want to give Genshin Impact a try too, but I'm not sure I want to play both. (I know dailies are optional blah blah blah but if I'm going to spend time doing busywork like that, I might as well go back to playing WoW.)

Someone sent me another ask about my current WIPs so I think I'll just ramble about them here.

The canon cast and OC post for surgery!anon. I'm trying to balance fluff and angst and realism and make it comforting at the same time (aka what I would've wanted to read before mine). There's some overlap with a post about Solomon's humanity that's it's own separate WIP.

Naming conventions in the Devildom and CR. These are my worldbuilding ideas to explain how Solomon has an established pact with Bathin (my OC for Mephisto's younger brother) since he's part of the Ars Goetia. This also discusses how those same ideas apply to Luke.

Fleshing out the angel OC stuff with Gabriel and Uriel. They're situated in the AU where MC is sent to the CR for the exchange program and not the Devildom which is why I haven't talked about them much. I have the fem!angel OC as well but I don't know what to name her (I want her to be like Zee where she's an "ordinary" angel). To be fair, she's probably not going to show up much outside of the story I originally wrote for her.

Genderbending-the-OCs anon, you have no idea what this is doing to me. It changes their kinks and their dynamics and how they would approach MC and I am mentally screaming into a pillow right now.

I've been writing directly in my Tumblr drafts lately, but I found a holiday fic for Solomon in my google docs. I thought it was a WIP but then I re-read it and it turns out I actually finished it and somehow forgot about it? Like...how does someone even do that. Anyway, do we want a smutty Solomon Xmas-in-March fic? (It's only holiday-ish because of a corny mistletoe joke on his part.)

On a random note, part of me regrets not making separate blogs for AT and my OCs (for organizational purposes) and I'm lowkey tempted to do it anyway.

If you read all this, you get a prize! Enjoy some chibis that I've been collecting like they're for my OC Pokedex. These are by sempa and ocha respectively.

#jes.replies

[funakounasoul]

Miko Month: The Meta History

I gave a quick history on Miko's childhood a few days ago. But what about her "meta" childhood? How did she even come to be? This is a thing I talk about every Miko Month, but it's always fun to revisit. Even on Tumblr, I’ve mentioned the history before, but I think it’s been AGES since compared to Twitter’s “every Miko Month” lol

So sit back, get comfy. We're going back to...Halloween 06? WAIT-- YOU?!

PREHISTORY

Halloween 2006...From 5th grade all through high school, I was a member of almost every single iteration of Band (marching, wind ensemble, jazz, pep, etc). Marching season was almost over and we get to wear costumes for the Halloween parades we do for nearby schools.

I was The Goth-Vampire-Knight-Thing, of course (for those who haven’t seen my Twitter, basically it’s this outfit I put together for my junior and senior years of HS, and that was, actually, how I described myself to anyone who asked). My best friend at the time, though, was showing off the prototype version of the cosplay we were both going to have for a con in '07 - the Azumanga Daioh school uniforms. Here are the finished ones (featuring me and my friend!)

Anyway, by the time we finished the third grade school parade route, we were high on sugar or something and were really goofing around. My friend, to both of us, didn't QUITE look like Yomi and, I dunno, we started goofing around and somewhere along the way "Koyomiko" was uttered. By the time we got back to our school, it was "after school" time and I was just waiting for my mom to come pick me up. We were STILL goofing around, and jokingly tossing around "Koyomiko" this, "Koyomiko" that. 

 And some gears started turning as I went home that evening...

I do NOT have the original sketch of Miko anymore, but she was literally drawn on November 1st (hence her canonical birthday!). And I went to school that next day telling my friend how I made a kid for Tomo and Yomi. She humored me, at least (she wasn't really a yuri fan lol)

A few days later, I would try to draw her digitally. I still used Pixia at the time...as well as tiny Wacom tablet. TINY TINY. Graphire 4 I think? Anyway, THIS is the pic I showed to the world:

DEVELOPING MIKO 

As I said, I decided that she was a child of Tomo and Yomi. Because I love Tomo and Yomi. And they have a kid somehow (science!) Her original full name was, legit, Koyomiko Takino-Mizuhara. I couldn't decide what the dorks would decide to use as a surname lol

This became my Thing for FOUR YEARS! Sure, I did regular canon Toyomi yuri and other fan art and stuff, but the Takino-Mizuharas were basically my main shtick. I coined the term "Azu-Kid." Miko's content was akin to Yotsuba's. Except lesbian moms. And Osaka as an "auntie."

I met Leigh through this silliness. She even brought out her own OCs from a different thing to have as friends for Miko. She was the sarcastic, smarmy, *half*-French (in this iteration) Sachiko Nakamura. Also, her older brother (and INITIAL love interest for Teen Miko)...Hayato

(ahem, yeah, it's really funny, considering what happened over time) COUGH. Anyway. Eventually, I wanted Miko to take the spotlight instead of her moms (which are the bulk of the original content - Toyomi parenting). It started out just as a new generation of Azu, but, over time, I wanted something different. I didn't want to do just comedy. I wanted some drama. So I tweaked it a bit and "Reminiscence & Reflections" became the new draft. At first, the old Azu gang were still part of it, but in the background. And then...they disappeared.

Oh, you bet I was ready to start a webcomic, you betcha! It took a bit, especially moving in with Leigh, trying to get through college (and failing), and less time to art. But eventually, I thought I had it all ready. And I posted this:

I started drawing up the pages on paper and then...then...Why wasn't I happy? Why is it so BORING?! I even thought about sprinkling some supernatural-y stuff in, but it wasn't working. I would slowly stop drawing Miko for a bit. SM and Pony art prevailed. Here's an example of what I DID draw during this “drought period”:

Enter me also unsure of what I wanted to do in the real world. I was in a brief stint at a call center. I was still in the initial lecture phase when I just had...this epiphany. I started scribbling down notes, thoughts, doodled some uniforms and weapons. Oh my god. This was it.

Well, almost. It would take a few more tweaks during the year of 2013, but basically, Raison came to be! And by July 2014, the rest was history~ 

#raisondetrecomic #original character #character insights #character development #character history #Miko Month 2022 - the cross-post-ening #...but with slightly different art

[leogichidaa]

What do you think of the nickname Reggie? I see it quite often and I like it, it's cute, but I'm not sure it should be an in-universe nickname. Sirius does not have a nickname that is related to his actual given name - wdyt would anyone call Regulus Reggie? (Also, how would you pronounce it? R(edge)ie or R(egg)ie?

Oh boy, I actually fervently believe the opposite lol 😅. I think it makes sense, in universe, for people to call Regulus "Reggie". It's a diminutive and he's Baby Black. Ickle Reggie. But I have a visceral reaction to it as term of endearment in the fandom. Hold on, I have this post that's been sitting in my drafts since, uh, March:

I'm partial to Rex. It strengthens his name rather than weakens it and it side-steps this whole Regg/Redge debate. Rex 4 lyfe.

I mentally pronounce Reg/Reggie as Redge/Redgie because I am used to those being nicknames for Reginald. Sometimes I see Regs, which I guess must be pronounced Reggs, but at that point, Rex is right there, you know?

I think Regulus himself, though, would prefer his full name to any sort of nickname or pet name. He would not like being called Reggie, it is far too childish for him. Which is why I think Sirius would absolutely call him that.

I'll add that while Sirius does not have a canon shortening of his name, his name also does not really lend itself to shortening. But Narcissa is called Cissy and Bellatrix is called Bella.

#a significant part of my reaction is likely due to my relationship with my birth name #which means 'lamb' #it's no coincidence that I picked a name that means 'lion' as my chosen name #well it's sort of a coincidence actually #but I also feel drawn to it because its a 'stronger' name #Regulus Black #ask #anon ask

[noonaishere]

So I was sitting here, thinking to myself, wondering how long I’ve been working on this fic [also: I was thinking about this LAST week, I just forgot to type up this post. I feel like that’s just… this whole thing in a nutshell] and I decided to go through my phone to find screencaps and go through my gdocs to find the earliest document that’s associated with this coming fic...

And… I had forgotten that - originally - I was planning on doing a Choose Your Own Adventure-style Otome fic. It’d have each member of Ateez be one of the personality types you see in Otome games, and you’d read through it and click links and choose who you’d end up with in the end. I read a really great CYOA story on Twine a long time ago and I’ve been wanting to do one since then, though I haven’t had an idea that I felt was befitting it.

So I looked up the main Otome personality types and tried to fit each Ateez member to each type and then sort of ran out of ideas/was too busy with work, and so I just put it in a folder marked “fics” which has all fic ideas that I’m kicking around (some come to fruition, some don’t). The document is called “Otome Character Archetypes” and the date on that document is Jun 5, 2021.

Anyway, I recall kind of thinking about the idea for a while after that and then forgetting about it. My Jaehyun fic was still updating, and while I wanted to start a new fic so I had something for when that one was done, I think I might have been also working on some original stuff as well.

At some point I scrapped the Otome idea since I didn’t feel like I grasped the personality types enough to be able to write it well, and created a new doc called  “Ateez smau idea.” It’s creation date is November 7, 2021. (I don’t really use this anymore - the last time I opened it was February of last year lol - because I made a better, more organized “book bible” kind of thing at some point.)

Then I got this comment that sort of blew my mind.

And I was like… YO, what IF there were two couples trying to get each other together, our favorite (or at least my favorite) fic chaos but doubled? 

…

What if it was two fics?

So I started writing notes like, immediately-- AND I DELETED THE ORIGINAL DOCUMENT LIKE A FOOL. I KNOW I made posts about it in April and May, but I guess I copy/pasted the text out of the first documents and deleted the remains as I got everything together and made it make sense? Which - I now realize - I need to STOP. DOING. Since I don’t fucking journal about what I’m doing at all, I need to keep the docs themselves to know when I did things 😫😫😫😫😫

I don’t have the original version of the one side of the fic (it’s two fics. I’ll explain when it’s ready to come out. I don’t know why I do these things), but a file called “Notes from first draft” has March 8, 2022 on it. So I had to have written the first draft of it before then; somewhere in between January 19th and March 8th, because those are the dates of luvvvx’s comment and the day I apparently had enough of a first draft to read it and make notes about additions. The first drafts (of each side of the fic) had to have been very bare bones though, because the doc has a lot of smaller points in it that are intrinsic to the plot and that I know I decided on early on in the writing process.

So I started somewhere between: January 19th and March 8th, 2022. 

…And now it’s over a year later since I started the missing doc of the first draft, and I missed BOTH anniversaries of starting the fic (the comment and the first doc).

When I first was like, “When did I start this?” I thought maybe I could make a little post about it and be like, “Congratulations to STILL NOT BEING DONE” and it would be a lark and kind of funny since I’ve been working on this for so long, but I MISSED BOTH OF THEM. I had two and I missed them.

So yeah, idk what this is. 

Happy missed anniversaries I guess 🎉

#anyway: guess what’s getting very close to finally being finished #I'm hoping to finish it with this April Camp NANO #because I want to BE. DONE. #I wanted to be done so much sooner #but between work and the burnout that CAME from work #omg #I could tell I was finally starting to recover because I can look at any writing I have without feeling like I don't want to do it #because all of it felt like WORK #I still have some days when I don't want to write at all (which is STILL weird because I LOVE writing) #but they seem to be getting less numerous and it seems to be getting easier #now I just need to finish this so I can write original work and upload it on patreon lol #and I might make that CYOA at some point #I have a new doc for it lolol #it'll just be like a cute thing I think #I will also be printing out this post and putting it in the new hobonichi I ordered #I feel like this counts as 'journaling' lolol #ad then I won't have to go on a hunt for documents in the future lolol

[myneighbortmnt]

Here’s a progress clip in the form of a terrible quality GIF because I’m absolutely horrible with computers and this is the best I could figure out lol.

On the bright side I just learned how to put the little read more function in on Tumblr so I have a couple better quality individual pics below the cut along with what’s basically the first draft of my autobiography bcos damn do I ramble.

Warning for an infodump sorry guys this is practically a novel. I keep remembering stories that happened while I was drawing. 

Here’s this bad boy I sketched in my org chem class bcos drawing helps me alleviate the incredible strain of having to sit still and pay attention for an entire hour. I was like haha wow! This looks cool! I should totally finish this!! 

That was in March. 

I started coloring this in when I went on a trip with friends to a cabin on a lake. I had to color it in with my fingers because I’m constantly losing my art pen or forgetting to put in new batteries. Since we’re all dumb teenagers there was booze every night. I’m not a huge fan of the taste of alcohol and already have terrible impulse control so I’d chill and draw instead of drinking. One of our friends is Muslim tho so at least I had a sober buddy. :P

It still absolutely sucked tho drunk people are annoying and they smell terrible and they throw up they’re like giant children but like not cute. I ended up locking myself up in my room to keep out the smell, putting on some music, and reading The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks just to cope. Good book by the way. It’s basically the world building he did to make World War Z. 

Little skip ahead and a color change. Still using precious little references because I only get super motivated to draw when I don’t have internet. I seem to have accidentally earned the respect of my 11 yr old cousin, as he says this picture is “okay” but sits down next to me to watch every time I draw. I showed him the Mystic Library episode, and then eventually got him to watch a pretty big chunk of the series with me. He says he likes the show but that the intro theme is kinda cringey and seems too much like a kids cartoon. 

....it IS a kids cartoon??? Also bro ur like eleven you ARE a kid.

I am super proud of the detail I put into this book when I finally hunted down a reference. I cannot even tell you how much time I have spent just flicking between the progress pics so I made yall a gif because I just learned how. 

85% of the shadows in this piece I made by airbrushing and then erasing bits. Gotta say I freaking love drawing shadows like this 10/10 can and will do again. 

I’m like “hey! this is starting to look sorta finished! I think I can post it soon! 

But then I decide to draw the bookcases by hand.

Why? I don’t know. Well I mean I do know the old ones sucked but STILL. 

...I couldn’t get myself to do it and dropped the whole piece for two months. 

Three color changes and ten trillion little tweaks later I’m finally done. By the time I’m finished I’ve spent so much time on this that my family members are almost begging me to just post the damn thing instead of complaining about drawing details asdfdasf

Also if you made it to the end of this and somehow aren’t bored yet:

1) Congratulations! 

2) DM me if you have any questions about technique or just wanna chat! Just be warned that I will probably gush and/or ramble--! 

#rottmnt #long post

[crookedactor]

DETROIT: BECOME BETTER

aka my DBH plot critique.

Disclaimer; this post mostly has to do with the plot and narrative of the story, and not the technical aspects. This is just what *I* think would have made the story more complex and interesting, and I will try to write it in a way that would realistically make sense for the story.

I of course am very thankful for the 200+ people who worked on DBH, because they made a wonderful game, and I couldn't imagine how hard it was. They aren't to blame for any of these critiques, mostly just David Cage. (lol)

And of course, spoilers ahead. I'll try to keep the major spoilers (like Alice's plot line) to a minimum just for good measure though!

Alright. Here we go. ⬇

(Also I'm sorry I don't have the option to do a "keep reading" button on my posts, so if you don't want to read this, you'll have to scroll for a bit since it's long. Sorry!!)

So first off let's go through each character's storyline, and outline a rough draft. Then, I'll expand on those ideas. After the characters, I'll move on to the overall plot of the story, (Which will mostly be the Pacifist, good route, since that's the one I'm most familiar with) and then maybe I'll do the minor characters and general notes. This is going to be a long post.

(((POSTS FOR EACH CHARACTER AND PLOT WILL BE SEPARATE. This is MY VERSION of Kara in DBH, and it's basically a complete reimagining of her character and the game as a whole.)))

First up, Kara.

My version of DBH would include kara being more central to the Android revolution. In DBH, her story arc is separate from Connor and Markus, and I feel as if that's the reason why some players find her section boring.

I want her and Markus to work hand in hand in some way for the revolution. In one of the original game trailers released around 2016 (?) It looked as though Kara was going to take center-stage in the plot. Maybe Alice wasn't even written into the script yet, because Kara seemed like she was on a solo journey towards understanding herself and other androids. It also seemed like they were going to use Tech Demo! Kara, and not the reimagined one that they ended up with in DBH. I really feel like Tech Demo! Kara was wasted potential in the game, because if that version of Kara was there, she most certainly would have become RA9.

As for Alice, I have no idea where she stands in this reimagining. If Kara would have been RA9, she definitely couldnt have time to take care of a child.

Maybe Alice isn't in this version of the story at all. Maybe Kara is on a solo journey of acceptance, discovery, and truth.

So, what would I imagine her new story to be? Well, Kara would have continued on her path that we saw in the Tech Demo, and most likely would be sold in stores. In the aforementioned Kara trailer released for the game, it seemed like Kara was tired of the typical, boring android life, and ran away to create her own story. This seems like a good place to go if we are sticking with RA9! Kara.

RA9! Kara most likely would have had an owner (someone similar to Todd, perhaps) who just didn't suit her. She would have escaped and be stunned by her sudden lack of care, especially after she promised to do no harm in the Tech Demo.

After escaping, she would be separate from all other characters until about mid-game. But, that doesn't mean all the times we see her until this point would be just filler. In order to keep continuity, I would still like her to meet ralph, because since she lacks Alice to teach her true humanity, she could more or less practice on ralph. (I know, it sounds demeaning lol) but it's true. Ralph is alone, scared, and VERY traumatised. Kara would be very eager to help someone like him, since she had been in his shoes.

This would be her first lesson in deviance other than herself. The beginning of her journey to becoming RA9. :)

I would also still like her to meet zlatko, and even Connor, in the highway chase scene.

Zlatko would remind her just how bad humans are, since she didn't have Todd do it. This would further motivate her to help other androids find peace and security away from humans, since she knows just how bad they can be. I would also like her first freshly-deviated android (other than ralph, who deviated before he met kara) to be Luther, but I'm undecided on whether to let him stay with her or not. Since this is HER journey of self discovery, she might do it alone. RA9 would most likely not want other people working with them, for a multitude of reasons.

She would meet Connor before Zlatko. Basically, it goes exactly the way the game plays it out, but we see it framed in a way that shows how afraid Kara is; 1) that she will get caught, and 2) that connor, an android designed to hunt other androids, has even been made. She is very uncomfortable with the fact that Cyberlife would do this, and she yearns to help him escape his programming, because he needs it the most. She is very empathetic, and this will further her desire to help other androids.

MID GAME: she meets Markus. I'm thinking she probably bumps into him while she's on the run from Connor. (Its been a few days, or even weeks, since the highway incident, but she's still very scared of getting caught.) Markus has been deviant, but has yet to find Jericho. I think that he could share the location of Jericho with her, and they can find it together.

Once they find it and explore, everyone asks Kara about herself. She tells them everything, and they are very surprised to find that she has been deviant all along. They had heard stories of RA9, but now it really seems like they've found out who it is. This is where RA9! Kara really starts to come into fruition.

She then will basically work as a consultant for deviants via Markus. He will take up second-in-command of Jericho, and Kara might take the place of Lucy, and even leader. He, along with every other android who chooses to come to Jericho, answers to her.

After this, Kara will go on missions with the Jericrew. She tells Markus what to do, and he does it. Everyone else (north, simon, and josh) help them immensely.

She also participates in the hyjacking of Stratford Tower. Markus stays out of this mission in order to free other androids around Detroit, (this is where he does the protest march, and Chris gets saved by him as told to connor by hank) and Kara takes his place in getting the Android message out to humans. They flee, and Simon doesn't get shot.

Maybe later, in between the middle of the game and the end, Kara is called to a meeting with kamski (however he would go about doing that. He's kamski, he can probably do anything he wants lol.) And she has no idea what it's for. She begins to think she's going to be shut down because of her deviancy, since she never knew that KAMSKI knew.

Jericrew asks her if she wants them to accompany her, but, like a true RA9, she says that she will do it alone.

When kara arrives at kamski's house, she's greeted by chloe. She is surprised to find that the other android is a deviant as well, and is just serving kamski by choice. This also will clue her in on how kamski feels about deviated androids, if he willingly keeps one in his house. This makes her suspicious.

Once inside, she waits until kamski permits her to enter his pool-room. Unlike Connor and hank's visit, she finds nothing peculiar about the picture of Amanda hanging on the wall, since she has no idea who she is. But, nevertheless, she still admires his taste in decoration. In my version, Connor and hank visit Kamski the day after this, because Connor is becoming more curious about Kara ever since he saw the broadcast at Stratford tower, and comes to ask kamski what he knows about Kara and deviancy.

Kamski lets her inside. He allows her to sit at a small table, and she waits for him to get out of his pool.

She is very anxious. Does he know about all the work Jericho has been doing? How would he know, he hasn't been there. But, he's the creator of all androids, he might find a way to know. Maybe Zlatko was right about the tracking devices after all.

He gets out of his pool and walks over, sitting down at the table. Kara is uncomfortable with the fact that she can't find any distinguishable emotion in the stare that he fixes her with.

I feel as though in this moment, kamski does not wish to interrogate her. He invited Kara over on terms of mere curiosity. He's confused, intrigued, and pleasantly surprised that a deviant android could have even existed for this long, especially one that has been deviant since the very moment of her creation. He wants to pick at her mind and find out her motivations.

Kara, not knowing his true intentions for her sudden arrival, decides to ask him a question.

"Why?"

I personally feel like this question has many interpretations, based on how the player plays the character. One interpretation could mean simply, "why did you make me come here" if the player chooses to be more cold. Another interpretation could mean, "why did you create me", and the last interpretation means, "why did you create me to be deviant" if the player chooses a more philosophical or even depressed approach.

If I'm going to be honest, I don't know how kamski would respond to a question like that. Its very open and ambiguous, and he is too unpredictable of a character for me to know what he might say.

Maybe he would say nothing. After all, he didnt call for her to come to his house so he could interrogate her. He just couldnt help but be fascinated at what he created, completely on accident.

He would most likely explain to her that her creation was partly an accident; he was younger, and didn't know the extent of his technology. But it was also partly his curiosity. Could a machine truly think for itself? Could it be alive? The inner philosopher in him was itching to find out, so he did it. Once he realized that machines could, in fact, have a consciousness, he began to realize that he was toying with living beings. He was playing God, and he didn't like it. That was actually, Kara comes to find out, the reason he left cyberlife and retired. The sheer fact that he designed a machine as a puppet that provided an answer to his childish curiosity ate him up inside, and he couldn't take it.

Overall, this visit with kamski is very illuminating for Kara. Before this, she never put too much thought into her creation; she always viewed it as a simple accident. But now, she would most likely look back at it through a philosophical or existential lense. What did it truly mean for her to be alive? What are the implications of technological consciousness?

This visit would not directly help her moving forward, but it would help indirectly or subconsciously. It would provide another layer of meaning to her work as RA9, and it would allow her to think about her motivations on a deeper level.

After this, Kara returns to Jericho and tells Markus to amp up the freeing of other androids. Since he can do it just by touching them, she instructs him to go to cyberlife stores and wake up all the androids for sale. This way, there are enough androids in Jericho for it to be attacked at the end of the game.

things go according to how it is in-game up until the moment when Connor gets to Jericho to kill Markus. In my version, he is also instructed to kill kara.

Kara and Markus are talking to eachother, in the same layout as Markus and North in the actual scene. Kara stays, instead of North leaving, and is there when Connor shows up with his gun. (In my version, Kara and Markus' speech about deviancy ALMOST tips Connor over the edge, but not quite. After this, he has a conversation with hank, and becomes deviant. More on that in my Connor post.)

So yeah. They have their conversation about deviancy with connor, but it doesn't end up with Connor becoming deviant just yet. Since, in the real scene, he deviates right before the police show up to attack Jericho, and I want this version to be the same (almost.) Kara and Markus are just a few seconds too late, and Connor doesn't deviate because the sound of the helicopters above them serves as a distraction. He escapes Jericho as chaos insues.

Everything goes as planned in-game, except without connor. Kara and Markus get everyone to safety, but only IF the player does all the quick-time events properly. Kara AND Markus can die in numerous ways in this scene, along with all the other members of jericrew.

Since this is the Pacifist route, Kara and Markus negotiate with the police. While Markus talks to them, Kara makes a small speech to the human onlookers crowded around in a last-ditch effort to gain sympathy from them. She talks about her personal experience with deviancy, and how it has changed her, and connects it back to humanity and how they aren't so different.

She ends her speech with a declaration that she is, in fact, RA9. This speech is the tipping point to win the Android war.

After this, I don't know what happens. Since there are secret endings depending on how you play the game, there might be a secret cutscene ending of some sort with her. Maybe she meets back up with Luther and ralph, or maybe her, Connor, and Markus meet up and talk together. Whatever it is, it's a happy ending.

Alright!! There's my Detroit: Become Human reimagining! I know I made a lot of changes, but I feel happy with them. Kara always was special to me, and it never sat right that she was left out of the main storyline just because she had to care for Alice.

As for Markus and Connor, I'll get their posts done separately, and I'll post them whenever I can. I know that the fandom is practically dead, but I'm still holding out hope that the fire can be rekindled some day.

Thank you for reading this incredibly long post! Have a nice day :)

#dbh #kara #dbh kara #dbh critique #fix it fic #Detroit become human #d:bh #detroit: Become Human #ax400 #RA9 #dbh markus #dbh connor #fanfiction #video game #ps4 #PLEASE tell me id i missed any huge events #i feel like i did lol #fandom #dead fandom

[wavesmp3]

directors cut: oasis

[doing this entirely for myself, out of pure self indulgence lol] [this will be very messy/poorly organized and there will be spoilers]

okay so where to even begin omg..... we will start with the origins of oasis:

its actually, techinically a spin off of the world from this drabble with dino from svt. which the world in this drabble is what the world from oasis would look like very far in the future. but i changed a lot between writing that drabble and creating oasis. but there should be a scene in the drabble that is very similar to a part in oasis (hint: the first vision they got from saskila was not just a random vision with no meaning.......hehe)

but that drabble (its titled dreamscapes) was inspired by a mix of this post on tumblr about how nuclear waste warning signs sounded very cool and the book that i was reading called the children of blood and bone by tomi adeyemi

and then after i had made that drabble i saw dee’s (@/atbzkingdom’s) post about the time capsule collab, and i had a couple ideas of what i could do for it but i ultimately decided on what would eventually become oasis !! so i guess we really have dee and that collab to thank for this piece lol

now for the timeline of me writing:

so i started outlining this piece in the first couple days of january, and normally outlines take me a while to come up with just because i struggle in coming up with plot, but i knew that my spring semester of classes would be starting soon and that I didn’t have a lot of time so i just sort of grinded an outline out as well several paragraphs of pure worldbuilding. 

and then i started writing

and wow i was Really writing!! at my peak productivity i was easily getting down like 2k a day which for me is insane (for reference, i wrote 1k a day for tsiytt and i struggled my way through that) 

but then life happens classes had begun and my writing for oasis slowly become nothing... 

i really only found the time to work on the piece every other weekend, so i was really nervous that i wouldn’t finish in time (which technically i didn’t cause it was supposed to come out march 1st) but luckily i did

and at some point in february, i had lost so much of my momentum and motivation for this piece that i almost gave up on it. (at this point i was writing the scenes after they find the seat of wisdom destroyed) but again luckily i did not, but i personally can definitely see a decline in the quality of my writing towards the end (i mean maybe its in my head, but its sort of like i can see the loss of love for the wip in my writing at the end of it)

but don’t misunderstand, i still love oasis!! and in all honesty, i’m already considering starting a second draft to it, which is way sooner than i thought i would lol

also when i started writing this piece, i began writing it in the order that it would be read, but then halfway i switched to writing chronologically

anyways, something i learned while writing this piece, is that writing is a marathon. whereas, even with my longer pieces, i always viewed writing as a sprint. so as i start venturing into original works and more lengthy pieces of writing, i think this was a very valuable lesson for me to have learned.

okay now to the good stuff lol: [the first word of the bullet about the next chapter (?) is bolded for some crumbs of an organized commentary]

so this is jumping to the first past bit... but when i first wrote farah i had a very different plan for her character than who she ended up being. i had imagined that she’d be a lot more cold and a tough love sort of person. so that’s who i was writing when she’s first introduced in the flashback, but she very quickly become a much kinder full of love sort of person. but anyways i mention this because whenever i read that first part and the introduction of her character, i’m always a bit taken aback by how like mean here character is to crown then lol

also zoar !!!! its a terrible place, but i love that underground city

i also wrote the first flashback after i had written the scene where crown and chanhee are talking at his place in andhor, so the whole “fearless” connection was done very purposefully here since i knew how it’d be referenced in the next scene. someone mentioned this small connection in their reblog but i cant remember who 

also rashi is my favorite character xD

i personally think how crown and chanhee became friends (the running thing) is so cute 

this first bit of conversation between crown and chanhee when it switches back to the present and chanhee is giving them a tour of andhor is actually quite important to me, in the sense that its the first glimpse of how their actual relationship works and how they act together and just like their dynamic despite the fact that they havent seen each other in so long 

and yeah i think kyu mentioned this and a few others, but i love how awkward it is when chanhee and crown are in his home in andhor, cause one: they havent seen each other in years! but also: anyone else find going to someone’s place for the first time oddly intimate, like wow you’re opening up your home to me and now suddenly idk how to sit or stand or what to do with my arms... maybe just me LMAO

DUDE i struggled so hard with making it so that chanhee knew how impossible this whole mission was going to be without actually revealing that he knows about the mirror. it was so hard for me, hopefully it came out alright though. if anyone is reading this, did the twist(s) come as a shock to you? did you see it coming? or did it feel like it came out of absolutely no where and not in a good way?

yes i did name the desert after the department store kohls .....

i was so excited to explain all the mage types, i had so much fun writing this whole chapter 

fun fact: there was originally another sub group of psyche mages called dream mages who had like powers with dreams and stuff, but it ended up being irrelevant and really underdeveloped so it took it out

if anyone else was raised catholic or is catholic then i’d hope you recognize the names of all the relics.... i stole them from a prayer in the rosary whoops

it took me very long time to figure out exactly how the whole soul for the relic business would work, and idk if im a 100% satisfied with what it is/how it works/how it plays into rashi giving chanhee the locket

the note new gives crown.... the first slice of their friendship blooming, bro i eat that shit up 

this part where crown and rashi are talking after the lesson is actually one of my favorites. (like i said i love rashi, but i just really love her interreacting with crown, i think they have such an interesting dynamic and one that i’ve seen irl a lot between students and teachers, where the student adores the teacher... i’ll get more into this later) but moving on, i like it for a number of reasons. one: it’s the first time we as readers get to see rashi talk outside of her role as lesson master. two: i love crown getting this validation from rashi. it’s not really expanded on a lot, but crown’s magic is definitely a bit of an insecurity for them, in the way that they don’t feel like it belongs to them. but here rashi comes, this person that crown looks up to so much, and telling crown that they’re a bit similar when it comes to having magic. and surprising crown by comforting them. and... idk i just really love this moment for crown.

okay this line: “You call your mom Rashi?” is a lowkey reference to game plan,, if anyone knows what i’m talking about then please come clown me for nearly having the entire movie memorized 

oh, i also find the capital really cool. in my head the capital was always one huge building that contains an entire city but i realized while editing that i never really explained that, so idk if i successfully described the capital as cool as it is to me 

also the five friends part.....CUTE

when chanhee says “i know. i remember.” !!! girl i felt that line with my entire chest. idk why

okay wait this part: “But that knowledge seems to fall flat right now. Because despite everything, curiosity won the war.” i love it so much, its that tiny of sliver of hope that gets me personally

i think this part where crown’s pride is so hurt by no one telling them about chanhee’s healing magic is quite important because its a glimpse of how stubborn and prideful and headstrong of a character they can be 

also this : “ ‘and do you believe everything rashi says’ / without hesitation, you answer, ‘yes, of course’ “ this is another example of how highly crown thinks of rashi while growing up, almost to a fault. to the point where crown thought rashi could do no wrong. which i think is so interesting to think about when contrasted with the fight crown and chanhee have in the jungle where crown is the one discussing how rashi was wrong. i just like how much growth crown has had between all these years. and their opinion / perspective on rashi is one of the largest indicators of that growth. 

I also just really like that paragraph where shadow vs healing is explained... I think chanhee’s magic is so sick

oh also the names thing.... I can’t remember where I got the idea to do that from but im so glad I did. its one of my favorite aspects to this world, and it looks like a lot of other people enjoyed it as well. but apart from the intimacy of it, i love how the use of names affects one’s magic. and that paragraph where they go through all that a mage could do with a name. it gives me chills. just cause.... the possibilities

so many people have mentioned this line.... but I must too, so this part: “magic always comes with a price. this is new’s” ..... crazy

saskila scares me omg

again the first vision they see is not a random scene.... the easter eggs I planted with that mwahaha

yeah that scene where they’re outside the tent discussing who should give their name to saskila..... I love that scene chanhee’s “I don’t have anyone but you” and crown deflecting all that tension with the pinky promise and the saskila calling them lovers.... mwah

this random scene about the hot summer and laying with Farah and new in the gardens is another one of my favorite, it’s just so sweet

but this next scene makes me so sad

like I know what happens and I know that everything turns out okay but I get so scared for crown

yeah just that entire part after Rashi gets to them and when they’re going to the infirmary and before crown passes out... I love that whole part. i think i did an effective job of writing the gravity of that whole moment. cause it makes me a little stunned every time I read it. and I was pretty nervous about not being able to do that scene and that moment justice so I’m glad it turned out like it did

and again this line: magic always comes with a price, and in your case, it comes with several.

okay this part after they jump out of the ship and crown is talking to Chanhee but that other dude is talking too... I hope it’s not too confusing. I really wanted to show through the writing that this was all happening at the same time, but idk it came out well. like in my mind I have such a clear picture of this scene, but I have no clue if I did effective job of showing you guys what I’m seeing through the writing

oh yeah, crowns thing about dual wielding and engulfing the blades in flames.... I find that so cool. they’re so sick for that

yeah also the part where crowns hurt and they give Chanhee their name and they use it.... great moment, but I feel like my writing is a bit lacking here. i just know it could be better.

I think at this point of writing my classes had started, and again the disparity in writing quality is so obvious to me 

but the line where chanhee is describing how it all feels, and it says “chanhee feels golden” was inspired by daylight by taylor swift, theres a line in that song that goes “i used to think love would be burning red, but its golden” and like hello the parallels between that and crown’s fire magic.... something to think about 

so this next part where it’s back to the past and crown is getting in trouble (as crown does) but the part where crown is like asking but not directly asking for rashi’s name.... that part is so crazy to me cause it’s feels so out of place. but it was purposeful. i was trying to show that crown’s growing and that they’re at this weird age where they feel invincible. and also i wanted to put more emphasis on how being royal and the heir to the throne kind of effects the relationships crown has

and the last line of this part when rashi says “never abuse it” it gives me chills whew

the next part ... another part that i had high hopes for in the outlining stages of writing, but when it came to actually writing, this scene totally flopped, i’m gonna try not to dwell on this part too much cause i just know most of my comments will be about how much i don’t like it. but just overall, this scene could have been SO MUCH BETTER !

omg this little interaction: ““Look!” Chanhee deadpans, shooting you a glare. “The match is about to begin.” / “Wish me luck.” /  “I hope you lose.”” i think its so funny and cute

“ Your eyes immediately got to Rashi “ another example of how highly crown regards rashi 

“In Wurltan.” hmmmmmm sus.... *laughs in i love mentioning things that won’t make sense to reader until later*

okay this: “Yes, but not just any mage. I…” your voice trails off, pulling at your fingers and looking anywhere but at him. “I wanted you to know.” i cannot stand these two omg 

okay this part: “Chanhee thinks and overthinks the words spoken between you both. His mind drifts off to last night as well, that moment in the tent where you shared your warmth. He doesn’t even realize he’s staring at you until you give him a funny look. He quickly looks away and wonders if you’re overthinking everything as relentlessly as he is.” this part makes me think about what ina said about how chanhee shows his love by keeping you in his thoughts and YEAH chanhee’s love language in this piece is thinking about you and staring LOL

i hate this next part, not cause i don’t like it or anything it just makes me sad 

but this line: “Like if someone shoved you from behind right now, you wouldn’t push back; you’d let yourself fall straight to the ground.” i actually love that line

also this next entire bit i see SO clearly in mind, i hope i wrote it well enough so that you all saw it clearly too

when chanhee wipes the dirt.... girl i’m wiping my tears 

this line : “We’ll lean on each other.” mini love declaration sighhhhhh

yeah that whole part i love so much 

the seat of wisdom :(((( no!!!!!

so about this line: “He stares at his palms, at all the lies buried under each nail and at all the secrets shoved in every crack. He watches as they all blow up in front of his face.” >> i had like ten different versions of it before i settled on this one lol

okay so the first part of the last past flashback with crown realizing their true feelings... so soft 

news gone, rashis’s dead, :((( it makes me so sad

gosh okay this paragraph..... “I’ve always wondered why the gods blessed me and you the way that they have. They entrusted you with such great power. The only person to be both a healing and shadow mage in centuries. And then,” a tear falls from her eye, “they entrusted you to me.” Chanhee thinks this might be the first time he’s seen Rashi cry. “But now I have reason to believe that this was no accident. I’m beginning to think that the gods have always known it would come to this. And I’m starting,” she falters there, “I’m starting to spite them for it.”  it hurts so bad im sorry 

the first confrontation with harlan took me so long to write, and i’m still not sure if i actually like it, so again i will refrain from commenting lol

but the part where crown screams : “YOU LOST THE MIRROR OF JUSTICE!”  I think i told kyu this but this line makes me laugh because in my head its said the same way bella says: “you nicknamed my daughter after the lochness monster” whenever i see that line i smile lol

honestly this argument scene..... one of my absolute faves,,, everything lina said about it in that reblog just yes!yes!yes!! i can’t even comment about a particular part because all of it i love so much. its another part that leaves me slightly speechless.

but my favorite part of it might be how it ends hehe

these next couple parts were a bit diffucult to write because obviously the air between crown and chanhee is not very light right now so it was just hard to navigate their dynamic at these moments until they apologize but hopefully it turned out alright

i really like this line: “But this moment—with the scent of Harlan’s wine under his nose and the chill of Harlan’s blade against his neck—this moment feels nothing like those. It feels empty.” 

“ Chanhee just stares at you.“ -- staring as a love language exhibit b 

this whole part... chills bro 

“Chanhee exhales because for the first time since this afternoon he looks at your face and sees you.” -- exhibit c ....

okay wait another one of my favorite parts here: the spilled glass metaphor!! again please reference lina’s rb on this because everything said there... could not have said better myself. inspired by this writing advice by ocean vuong and yeah i just think the metaphor speaks for itself, one of my favorite lines (well paragraph) from the entire piece, actually from ALL of my works 

it was so hard to think up all of yumi’s different names, i was struggling

them talking about how farah will be happy to see chanhee...... how do i break it to you crown.....she’s dead...... awkward

red streak q! yesss. also i’m so sorry for killing off farah 

also kyunyu bestiessss

tbh this whole paragraph: “I get this overwhelming burst of honesty. As if what you both speak of is more than just a simple truth, as if it’s a commandant you blindly follow. What’s even odder is that I only feel that burst when you speak of each other.” Q stops walking and turns so that he faces Chanhee directly. “You speak of Crown constantly. And last night, when I met Crown, your title never left from the tip of their tongue. Humans are so simple really. We mention what we love.” Q pauses for a moment, bringing a hand under his chin. “Do you love Crown?” --i wrote it for myself no regrets

oh wait this bit too : “Quietly, Chanhee says, “I know.” / “Have you been watching?” / “I’ve been waiting.” / “For what?” / He meets your eyes. “For you.”” -- sometimes i do things that live rent free in my own mind

okay im so sorry for just quoting myself but this too : “ He sits back slightly. Shocked. Not by his love for you, but rather by how easily love walked into his heart and settled between his lungs “

lol the part where they try fooling q... why are crown and chanhee like this

the running !!!

yeah also every part after that... tears okay

yumi’s magic !!! its so cool to me, i love it so much 

i surprisingly don’t have much to say about the end... i mean i like it, but i just don’t have any comments. the last line tho... good one shawna

okay im done for you sake i hope no one read this lmao 

#oasis #mine #not sure what else to tag this lol #oh #directors commentary #this got so long for no reason

[meikuree]

👀

(am I doing this right? Lol)

They find ways to dodge the watchful eye of military surveillance. Pieck starts the ball rolling first, and they settle on a shared rule from the first letter about mixing up the pseudonyms, handwriting, and messengers they use. Luckily for Yelena, she knows many unwitting fellows in her squadron whose arms she can twist into doing favours for her, or otherwise intimidate out of their skin.

(She does, however, reject a suggestion to vary the ink they write with. Where in the five continents is she going to get the money for invisible ink or multiple fountain pens from? she writes to Pieck. Or, put it another way, it’s her sideways attempt at a hint: give me more money, you attractive dolt, before you make demands of me.) 

Pieck goes the extra mile by disguising her letters in ciphers every time. It catches her off guard at first, but Yelena gradually gets used to sitting hunched over a desk, methodically puzzling out the true message in her missives. Sometimes Pieck replaces all the alphabets in words with foreign symbols of her own making, unreadable to the unknowing eye, and provides Yelena with a single hint in the form of one alphabet-symbol pair to start her off. Other times, she encases multiple layers of codes within one another, in a way that makes Yelena let out a low whistle when she sees the roundabout complexity waiting for her within folded papers. 

Nonetheless, they're never anything Yelena can't handle, even just working by herself in her shared bunk at night. She suspects at first that Pieck’s simply going easy on her. But she soon realises it’s the opposite: she’s good at it, and far sharper than any layman soldier, with a knack for recognising patterns quickly, and solves the ciphers fairly easily to her pride. Pieck comments on it in a letter once, suggesting her talents might be going to waste within her battalion. Yelena writes out her laughter in her response-- a sarcastic “ha ha ha”-- and dares Pieck to promote her out of there herself. For the only thing worse than someone who recognizes her competence is someone who is in a position to do something about it and doesn’t. She doesn’t like abiding hypocrites.

Pieck gets the message and doesn't remark on the matter any further thereafter.

If she had to surmise further, Yelena would venture to suggest that the deciphering exercises are a proving ground set up by Pieck, meant to see if Yelena is someone worth keeping the pen inked for; if Yelena is willing to commit to the work needed, if she’s able to rise up to her challenges. 

Yelena thinks Pieck is sparring with her on the battleground of mystic symbols and secret writings. 

At least she makes it worth her while once Yelena cracks what’s inside them. 

this is from a reworked draft of the pieck/yelena wip i’ve had in my drafts since march 2020 (oh god), and i am slowly, slowly working on it in my spurts of free time. to be honest, i’m considering scrapping the above segment (and the other 2k words i’ve written after it) because of flow issues, but hey, i’m happy to let it see some light here.

the fic, if i finish it, is going to be canonverse, set in the time before the three years timeskip, about yelena and pieck having a weird liminal relationship where they’re privy to aspects of each other’s lives that they don’t show to other people, but also aren’t really in love with each other in the conventional sense because the politics surrounding their positions are complicated, and the relationship itself is complicated, and they are kept from getting together in any meaningful sense of the word by these wider structural forces, as well as yelena’s eventual ideological differences/divergence from pieck. /clenches fist/

i have trouble writing happy things for this pairing, apparently. no idea why. it can’t be because i’m an emotional masochist. /holds head in hands/

#thank you for the ask - I appreciate it! <3 #also... i know i said i was going to bed but i'm going to cheat and answer this one because i have the snippet ready to go #leksaa90 #ask #meikuree writes #pikulena #meikuree answers

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Primary Organs, Mama Lives in My Mouth, Phantom Limbs & Slaughter the Animal | Short Story Update

Hey People of Earth!

Today I’ll be updating y’all on FOUR short stories I recently(ish) finished drafting because it’s been so long since I last updated you on short fiction! TW: suicide, death, trauma, animal cruelty.

Plot: Six-year-old Eileen watches the body of her dead mother from the driveway of her neighbour’s house after her mother commits suicide.

Genre: Literary fiction, short fiction

POV: First person, present tense

Word count: 2342

Characters:

Eileen

Main character

SOFT

Danny

Eileen’s 18-year-old neighbour

Confused and doesn't know what to do

Ma

We obviously don’t know much about her because she’s dead at the start of the story, and we learn little of her through Eileen’s lens

I wrote this story in March for a contest (I didn’t end up submitting) as I was writing Mama Lives in My Mouth which has similar characters, and side-tangented this draft. At the time, it was one of my favourite things I’d written, but some newer work which I’ll talk about are FIGHTING for its spot. Drafting this was so painless, and the voice is a favourite I’ve written because of the lens we’re looking through (a six-year-old girl who clearly doesn’t understand her mother is dead, and the reason why her mother is dead). The story itself doesn't take place for more than 5-10 minutes, and is literally Eileen and her neighbour Danny observing her mother’s dead body while Danny speaks to a 911 operator. Because of the content, it’s my saddest story, and that’s made worse by the innocent narrative.

Publication status: unpublished, rejected 7 times (I’m! sad!), actively seeking

Plot: After her child nearly drowns, a mother shrinks herself so she can live in her child’s mouth, thereby staying close to her child and evading rent costs that have hiked due to gentrification. (lol) (sorry not sorry)

Genre: Literary fiction, flash fiction

POV: First person, present tense

Word count: 536

Characters:

Mama

Overprotective, but wants the best for her child

May or may not have an affair with her child’s dentist

Her child

Our narrator, though they experience the story in detached ways as they don’t really know what’s going on

The dentist

Potential love interest for Mama

Publication status: I haven’t shared this on here, but this story is being published! Last year, I was published in Young Voices 2019, and will be in their 2020 issue with my sister @sarahkelsiwrites​ (literal publication sister) which will come out mid Fall. I’m hyped about it!

This story has more “lore” than the others because I began writing it a year and a half ago and only recently finished the draft (which I talk about in THIS vlog). This story was originally called “Phantom Limbs in D Minor” which I prefer in sound, but the D Minor bit just never fit with the story! Sad :(

Plot: 20-year-old Linda shouldn’t be this methodically detached to her everyday life, but a year after her mother’s death, she finds herself in this exact situation, living in a phantom-like state. Acting as a live-in designer for her sister Mel and Mel’s boyfriend Fraser, Linda can’t seem to reconnect with herself post her mother’s death until Fraser interrupts her regimented routine with a request.

Genre: Literary fiction, short fiction

POV: Third person, present tense

Word count: 6199

Characters:

Linda (20)

Our semi-unhinged, but still soft, MC

Very detached from herself and though it’s not canon, there’s clear textual evidence she suffers from OCD

Mel (24)

Well meaning, but sort of overbearing older sister of Linda

Mel turned out kinder than I initially judged, and though she’s a bit self-centred, she does deeply care for her sister

Fraser (20s?)

Mel’s boyfriend. In Linda’s words, he’s unkind.

This story was bizarre to draft as it came together over a long period of time. Thematically and also in general, I didn’t know what the story wanted to be, and after drafting, was surprised at how much of a “nothing happens” story it is. I think Linda’s characterization is strong and I do like it! The opening is still one of my favourites, especially in terms of imagery.

Publication status: Not currently seeking. I definitely want to let it sit before I start sending it out!

Plot: 13-year-old Dorothy moves from Ontario to British Columbia after her parents’ divorce where she meets Ginny and Carver, a set of twins who seem both interested in the preservation of animal life and the repercussions of harming it.

Genre: Literary fiction, short fiction

POV: First person, retrospective past tense

Word count: 4340

Characters:

Dorothy “Dot” or “Dottie”

VERY soft but also ROASTS

Our narrator

Loves all animals, is vegetarian

Mother

Dorothy’s mother

Kind of textbook How Not to Be a Parent

Cares about her daughter, but is a bit misguided

Carver & Virginia “Ginny”

Fraternal twins, children of the woman who runs the boarding house Dorothy and her mother move to

Kind of the same person, with both being unfeeling, apathetic, curious, and vegetarian.

I adored writing this story. To date, the opening is the best opening I have ever written IMO in terms of prose. I got this idea for this story after praying to the short fiction gods for a short story idea! I was sitting in my backyard hammock looking up through the trees, one of which is a plum tree. My dog began barking at this gating my dad put up and the idea followed along this exact pattern, with Dorothy sitting in her backyard hammock with her dog etc. However, after this magnificent writing session where I drafted the first 1200 words, the next day, I couldn’t tap back into the story. Frustrated, I tried tinkering with it, but ultimately gave it a rest for about two weeks. Two days ago, I opened the story and the muse guided me to the end, which was pretty magical! Overall, I’m satisfied with the story. The prose is some of my best and I love the character work. It’s also my first ever time writing twins (I am a twin myself!), which was difficult at first. This is also my first explicitly CanLit (TM) story! Please publish me!

Publication status: Not currently seeking, but I will in the future!

That’s an update on these short stories! I have enough full-length fiction pieces that I’m thinking of starting a collection (I’ve written 7 non-flash pieces, 4-5 of which would most likely fit the collection), so in the interim, I shall be brainstorming names. Surprisingly, the pieces fit together quite well (I’m thinking they will be The Species is Dead, Primary Organs, Phantom Limbs, Slaughter the Animal, and *maybe* NYC in Your Apartment). But for now, that’s it!

--Rachel

#writing #shortstories #amwriting #writeblr #writerblr #writingupdates

[blaizekit]

End-of-HFOWW update (Feb 2021) part 2: other projects

I have several ongoing original projects, but as of this post I’m in a sort of limbo with them. It’s kind of a long, personal story and not strictly related to my fics, so I split this off from the previous post. 

Tl;dr: This Pandemic™ really threw everything off at the worst time, so my 2021 is up in the air, but I’m going to focus hard on originals. The tag #blaizeoriginals will be used for future posts related to this topic. 

I don’t talk about it a lot on this blog because it doesn’t feel appropriate somehow (anxiety brain idek), but I got a manuscript request from a literary agent for a novel. That I wrote. 

Last March, literal days before lockdown began, I went to a writer’s conference. I’d just finished a rough draft, so I hadn’t signed up for any pitch sessions, since I know it’s frowned on to do a formal sit-down pitch for something as unpolished as this was. But I did submit the first page for a panel where agents would read the pages aloud and critique them. I was super nervous because it was the first time I’d ever shown my writing to professionals.

So that’s when it got really unexpected. The pages were randomly picked for reading, and mine got read. But the panel made their comments (and they were very nice! I will absolutely never forget one of them calling my writing “sticky” (complimentary). I loved that lol). Then, one said ‘whoever wrote this, come see me after’ and I internally freaked out, because I knew it meant I’d gotten their attention, and I wasn’t ready!!! So I went up there after and the agent gave me their card and said they wanted the full manuscript. (what!!!) I stumbled my way through an explanation that it wasn’t ready, and they said to polish it first then send.

Then the pandemic and lockdown started and... that didn’t happen. 

I was severely writer’s blocked, and knowing I was letting an opportunity slip away from me as the months passed made it even more painful. It’s very cringe, but since I couldn’t seem to write anything else, I started HFOWW as a way to vent and work through the multiple layers of existential angst I’m sure we all had to go through over last year. ‘Hope is the will to keep trying’ is the mantra I’m trying to carry into this year.

But I’m really not sure what I’m going to do. I know there are other opportunities out there if I want them, and I could probably try querying the same person and give some small explanation as to what happened. But I also lost my job (thanks Corona), so I am at the mercy of the unemployment system right now. It ran out at the beginning of December and didn’t come back until Jan 21, so I went hungry more than once as I tried to ration the food I had. I always made sure my babycat had the kibble he’s used to. I asked my partner to buy groceries for me instead of getting me a birthday present.

Why couldn’t I just work on my novel!!! Trust me, I metaphorically beat my head on my desk plenty of times wondering the same thing.

I don’t bring this up to throw a pity-party, but to underline how serious and important it is that I figure out something. I’m lucky that I don’t have to pay rent, so my home isn’t on the line or anything like that. But I’m definitely living on a tightrope.

I really don’t know what will happen long-term. For the immediate future, I’m going to save whenever I can to skate over any future shortages, and I’m going to focus on finishing projects I can legally sell. I have to. Whether that means pitching agents or self-publishing, I literally can’t afford to work on free content in 2021. 

I’ve thought about all sorts of possibilities for the meantime, like adding a shop to my ko-fi to sell original short stories or commissions or do freelance tutoring (I used to do that in college), but basically, it’s all up in the air right now and I might experiment with different things as I go along.

So that’s all I’m trying to say, really. That I might be trying out different things, and that I’ll only be working on fics sparingly.

If I do figure something out, I may mention it here or try to point to it a few times, but for the most part I’m going to keep all that stuff separate from this blog and my other fandom pages. I’ll use the tag #blaizeoriginals whenever I talk about it, so you can block accordingly (or follow if you want to be alerted if I make a separate blog, for example).

#blaizespeak #blaizeoriginals #this is the most I will ever talk about real life for the next five years lmfao

[snowmanmelting]

Stylish

Sophisticated and alluring.

Those were the first two words that immediately came to Anna’s head when she had to describe the blonde.

Tall, sophisticated, and so very alluring. It was magnetic, in a sense. Anna could be in a place full of people, doing a hundred different things and her eyes would still wander in Elsa’s direction from time to time, fully aware of her presence.

“Ok, but what is the real point of this jacket?” Elsa looked at her reflection on the mirror, strategically set of one of the store columns, her monochromatic blazer set aside for the moment. “The raincoat feature gets completely lost when this only reaches the waist.”

Anna, who just noticed she’d been staring for maybe more than necessary, only shrugged in response. She got behind Elsa, standing on her tiptoes to look like she was the taller one for once. Truth to be told, Anna was only half a head shorter than Elsa, but Elsa was the type of person that looked taller, somehow.

“It’s a matter of posture”, she’d say, but sometimes Anna just liked to tease with heights.

“Wait, lemme just--” Both of them watched her reflection gently tugging at the jacket from the shoulders, revealing Elsa’s spaghetti straps from her sky-blue tank top, and her collarbone that Anna swore sometimes looked like marble. Off shoulder, that was how the model in the promo pictures wore it. “There, that fits you better.”

Elsa’s reflection raised a very skeptical eyebrow. 

Anna rolled her eyes.

“It’s silly fashion! It doesn’t have to be practical. And, you know, it’s good to get out of the comfort zone every now and then!” 

“Is that why you’re wearing that ridiculous coat?”

“Exactly! Now I’m a pretentious old lady.” She stood to the side and struck a pose, raising her shoulders halfway up to her neck, between long faux fur and red and black stripes. “Now get me your strongest perfume at the cheapest price while I complain about the lazy youth,” she said in an exaggerated accent, pursing her lips.

Elsa held a hand to her mouth to her hide her laugh. “You’re never gonna let that go, are you?”  

“Not when she comes so often to the store, nu-uh.” Anna crossed her arms and closed her eyes with a childish pout. “Last time I ended up pretending I was busy not to assist that woman. I swear she enjoys pushing my buttons.”

"You're incorrigible sometimes." 

"You love me anyway," said Anna, with a shrug of her shoulders that seemed bigger than it was because of the oversized coat she was wearing. But it drove the point home, and they were just playing around. Elsa had always lent an ear and a sympathetic smile every time Anna complained about rude customers. And a sandwich. Those were important, too.

Playing or not, Elsa's eyes lingered on her for more than usual conversational timing, as if her barely concealed smile could also hide that little spark on icy blue eyes tracing all over her with unspoken affection. It made Anna's stomach flip on itself and burst into butterflies as if she was a teenager all over again. 

Elsa's smile turned into a full one, and she looked sideways with a little bit of embarrassment when she realized what she was doing.

"Touché."

+++++

This lil ficlet has been sitting halfway done in my drafts since march, after spending five consecutive days obsessively reading (unrelated) Elsanna fanfics and, shit-- I don't even ship them ship them, but they make a great duo and it never crossed my mind to think that there was gonna be such huge amount of fanfics lmao. So, I just had to write these two gays trying on jackets at Falabella with Loona playing in the background lol.

I wanted to make it at least 1k, but I’m outta ideas (I accept suggestions if you happen to have any!), and since my usual deal is Hurt/comfort, I just wanted to prove myself that I could write normal-ish fluffy-ish stuff.To me this is a nice change of peace! So woo /0/!

#frozen #frozen au #frozen fanfiction #elsanna #elsa #anna #unrelated #unrelated elsanna #anika writes #AND ITS NOT ANGST #CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT #Writing Anna is super fun #She comes to me naturally #which is weird #because I write traumas and project my anxiety for a hobby so #weird #anyway I wanted to make this longer to publish it as a one shot but I had 0 (zero!) ideas #So i might as well publish it #and see what I can improve or extend it later

[noctisfishing]

2020 Wrap-Up and 2021 Wishes

I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to do this or not, but I decided, why not? Even though this year was pretty wild for everyone in various ways, I want to celebrate my writing progress and accomplishments, and share with you what I wish for in 2021.

I’ve already posted a similar post on Reddit, although this one has a more detailed breakdown and includes my fic titles! I won’t link any of the fics mentioned, but you can visit my FFN or AO3 pages to find them. You can also click through my Welcome Post or find them all listed here (if you’re on desktop) (*every project I talk about can be found somewhere on my Tumblr :D)

Click below for some nice Fic Stats!! (mostly wordcounts and rambling!!)

Preview: I wrote a good amount of words, got some nice progress on some long fics, churned out dozens of ficlets!! Plus: What’s on my fic mind for 2021, and a short bit about other personal wins.

Before I ramble with numbers, I think we can all agree that we should say goodbye to 2020 this way:

Now, the numbers you’ll see are close approximations to how much I’ve written this year. I’m including works that I’ve published on AO3, FFN, Tumblr, and Reddit, and also works unpublished (and will post probably next year).

So, here it is:

Total Wordcount: 107,662 words!

Dang, I wrote a lot more than I thought. I think there was one year that I wrote 200,000 in a year and I’ve always set that number as my standard. But I’m still pretty happy with this year’s number! I think I’ll make 100K my “soft goal” for 2021 given how topsy-turvy life can go but it would be awesome to hit 200K again :)

And now, we break it down:

Completed Works (54,432 words)

2 Multi-Chaptered Fics (10,353 words) 

Both happen to be Sorato! I posted the last chapter of The Sound of His Goodbye back in March (I started the fic late 2019), and I posted all of The Last One Wins towards the end of November. Both gave me reminders earlier and later on in the year that I can complete fics, haha! It’s possible!!! \o/

38 Ficlets/Scenes (19,667 words) 

“Ficlets” don’t typically have a wordcount but are generally less than 1,000 words. I’d have to say that the impact of quitting my job, moving back home, and the pandemic brought on major changes and responsibilities that I had to adapt to. Simpler, smaller scale ideas were easier on my basket case of a mind and kept me writing, and that is most likely why for most of the year my inspiration was more drawn toward different little scenes. I got to write for and explore six new fandoms outside of Digimon which is cool!

When I say “scenes,” I mean those that either didn’t fit in the (slightly) larger works I’ve published, or those for future projects (which technically shouldn’t be counted as “complete” but I had to stick them somewhere :P).

9 One-Shots (24,412 words)

Day 6 Prompt of Takari Week just barely made it to be counted as a One-Shot, but the rest in this category are all Taiora: six for Taiora Week, as well as The Princess and the Dragon, and Colors in Distance. The Color Shot was actually sitting unfinished in my drafts for a few months so I’m glad I found the motivation to finish it before the year’s end. The other fics were inspired by prompts with deadlines - this was the first year I’ve participated and completed those and I’m happy I did them! 

Works in Progress (53,230 words)

I’ve posted one new chapter each for Digital Recovery (4,770 words) and  Tsukiakari (2,292 words) and I had the hope of working more on both of these this year! But you know, this year was tough (see also why I threw so many ficlets at my readers). I had three huge ongoing longfics and I made the decision to set these aside and put my main focus on one of those so as not to overwhelm myself. These fics are mostly planned out. They just need to be written more! We’ve got a long way to go with both of these.

Just One Drink (10,131 words) was.. probably my most popular fic this year, lol. I don’t see this one being too long (I would be surprised if it goes past 50K) but I see myself continue to update this next year. ;) 

And let’s talk about The Spark of Dawn (DoreDore Adventure Part II) (24,316 words). This was my chosen longfic to focus on this year, as evidenced by the wordcount, and even the number of chapters I’ve posted - three with 10,659 words total. This fic also carried me through July’s Camp NaNoWriMo where I reached my word count goal of 12,000 words. I think two chapters from that event ended up being posted, and there are still 13,657 words’ worth of content yet to be published. Overall, I think half of this story has been written out (including the content I haven’t posted yet) but that being said, this fic remains as one of my priorities to finish before moving along to my other WIPs!

Here’s a list of the rest of my unpublished works:

Untitled Taiorato Fic (1,433 words)

More Taiora Snapshots (2,454 words)

The Girl Who Stands Out (7,834 words) - This one is a Mimato, and should show up really soon. ;)

2021 Wishes: My main wish is for me to *keep writing*!

I’m already making some pretty elaborate spreadsheets for myself to help track my personal writing and reader stats. Hopefully they help motivate me in my writing progress in 2021! 

Toward the end of the year, I felt the need to “clear out” my plot bunnies folder and realized that fics from few ideas weren’t going to be as long as I initially thought. That’s where The Last One Wins came from, as well as The Girl Who Stands Out. I think once the latter is all written out, I will work more on DoreDore and see where it goes.

I want to tackle my “Write Your Melody” prompts, because since I’ve written them I feel obligated to. XD I’m sure there will be room for more ficlets and one-shots in next year’s endeavors; while it’s ideal to work on one big longfic until it’s done, I know for a fact that I’ll need writing breaks along the way.

Other Personal Wins (Not Writing-Related): This year, left a job and living situation that took a toll on my mental health. I also started to learn R and SQL programming languages. I was asked to be a moderator of one of my favorite communities! I made new friendships and a few of my friendships grew. And I found joy and comfort in things I hadn’t been able to in years’ past. I had a fair share of rough moments this year, but looking back at my small wins gave me reminders of the good I have. <3 

If you made it to the end of this post, GO YOU. I’m optimistic that next year will bring more good things. I hope to continue remembering to take time to breathe and rest, and keep talking to my friends and loved ones. Many of my wishes are for long-term goals/projects in general, but rather than setting year-end deadlines, I want to focus on just working on them, my efforts varying between chipping away at them little by little, or hardcore-drop-everything-and-spend-the-weekend.

Anyway, thank you for reading! I wish you all the best as we head toward a new year. <3

#noct musings #end of year wrap up #2020 #noctiswriting #writing progress update

[purplesurveys]

1087

survey by tigerfan1205

Name 5 people that are very important to you. Other than my dad, mom, and Angela, I can’t think of anyone else. Andi’s a very close friend but they’re not necessarily I’d-take-a-bullet-for-them levels yet.

Do you like eating chocolate covered cherries or strawberries? I don’t like fruits, so no. I like chocolate-covered unhealthy stuff though, hahah.

What does your 9th text say in your outbox? Ughhhh I remember this tab being in my old cellphones but I can’t quite remember if this is referring to texts I’ve sent, or my drafts. Anyway, my phone doesn’t store text drafts and I can no longer recall my 9th last sent text.

Ever had a really scary dream? Tell me about it. I’ve had loads of nightmares but my least favorites have always been the ones where someone I love is shot and they had to pass away in my arms. Out of all my scary dreams, those are the ones that send me crying in my sleep/as soon as I wake up.

Where is the coolest place you've been on vacation? Vigan was great because it really felt like visiting a 17th-century town. Singapore and Shanghai were also fun because it felt cool going to places much richer than ours and getting to interact with technologies that we will never get to have here HAHA

Would you rather have salad or french fries for a side dish? Erm, unless the salad has spicy tuna in it, fries all the way please.

Ever been to California? Did you like it? No. Idk, it’s not the first place on my list if I am to visit the US though. Places in the East Coast and the Midwest personally appeal more to me - and I’m fully aware it’s because they’re well-known for being passionate wrestling hubs.

What's your favorite thing about the town you live in? I live right smack on the boundary between the more urban sprawl of Manila and the quieter, more peaceful and quaint mountain part of my city. It’s very easy to access either depending on what I’m in the mood for.

Do you like Mexican food? What's your favorite dish to eat? It’s great, but not my top favorite cuisine. My favorite dishes would have to be fajitas and chimichangas.

Favorite kind of pizza is? Quattro formaggi all the wayyyy. You’ll never see me ordering anything else.

Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? If so, how long have you been dating? No.

Any brothers or sisters? Do they make you mad? I have one of each. My sister will sometimes piss me off, but it dies down quick. My brother did something unforgivable to me two years ago so that’s how long I have been constantly mad at him.

Are you nosy? Eh, sometimes? For the most part I know my place though. I let people share the amount they’re willing to, and very rarely do I try to pry.

Ever been to a bar? What was it like? Sure, had my fair share of favorites too when going out was still a normal thing. For me, bars are the best if I’m with the right mix of people. If I’m in a crowd I’m not necessarily close with, it can definitely dampen the experience as I will only be feeling awkward. The people in the bar will sometimes be a factor too – I will most likely feel annoyed if I’m somewhere that’s clearly populated by high schoolers or college freshies as they can get super rambunctious and loud.

Are you old enough to drink? Yes, have been for the last 4 (almost 5) years.

What's your favorite kind of flower? I enjoy looking at peonies.

Would you rather have pasta or chicken? Right now, probs chicken - preferably chicken wings because that sounds the most fucking yummmmmm rn. We’ve been having pasta a bit too much at home so it would’t hurt to skip it for now.

Have you ever dated someone, but made them not tell anyone about it? Yeah. Gabie and I got back together in our final months of high school. We were about to graduate and it was crucial we kept our record clean so that the school won’t strip us of our diploma and prohibit us from marching (it was Catholic school, sooo homophobia and stuff). Because of that, we had to keep it secret for about a month and a half. As soon as I got home from the ceremony and my family dinner, I shared the news on social media. So I didn’t exactly make her keep it secret - it was a mutual understanding.

What's the meanest thing you have done to a friend? I honestly can’t recall a time i deliberately set out to be an ass to someone I considered a friend. The one thing I can recall was accidentally misgendering Andi when I was still getting used to their pronouns, but I didn’t do it on purpose.

Have you ever kissed anybody with the name starting with a C or R? No. Those are my initials though, ha.

Why did you and your last ex break up? She wasn’t ready, she wasn’t down for commitment, and she felt suffocated having only been in a relationship throughout her late teen and early adult years. She really made herself sound like such a victim and she made it sound like commitment is the biggest sin, and so I blamed myself a lot during the first few months of our breakup; but I’ve since made a conscious effort to turn my mindset around and convince myself that I’m not at fault. Bye gaslighters.

Have you ever had a really bad fight with a best friend? Angela and I only had petty fights and our last one was in like 5th grade. Gab and I got into heavy arguments, but only when we were in a relationship and never as friends.

Do you like spaghetti? It’s okay. I like other types of pasta better.

Which color: orange or red? Red.

Do you know any songs by Katy Perry? Do you like her music? She’s...popular lmao, so yeah I know a good number of her songs. She’s in the middle for me; some songs I really enjoy, like E.T., Dark Horse, and Thinking of You (a personal fave); and there are some that didn’t grow on me as much, like Wide Awake and that awful Christmas song she recently released.

Ever had a near death experience? I suppose. My almost-car crash is the event I always cite.

Which number: 5 or 19? 19, for no reason whatsoever.

What's your favorite song by Taylor Swift? Why is that your favorite? Wildest Dreams; it meant a lot to me on a personal level for a time; right now it’s kinda doing it again for me. From her newest album, I really like dorothea also because it’s a bit relevant to my life at the moment.

Pick one: apples or oranges? I guess oranges. I don’t like fruits but I’m more likely to take a liking to orange-flavored stuff, like juice or chewy candies.

Do you know anybody named George or Bob? I don’t think so.

What do you like better, being single or in a relationship? Why is that? I like being in a relationship; commitment comes easy to me and I love looking out for a significant other, supporting them in their dreams, and generally just having someone to focus on, build a future with, and spoil. Being single hasn’t been bad and I guess I won’t mind if I never found someone; but in the grand scheme of things it’s really nice to be able to love someone.

Are you close with your mother? Not really but our relationship isn’t as strained as it used to be.

Have you ever dated someone named Kyle? Nope.

If you still go to school, who sits next to you in your fifth period? I can’t remember the last time I had five classes in a day, lol.

Who was the last person to ring your doorbell/knock on your door? I think it was my mom, earlier this morning when she arrived back home from her daily jog.

Does anything on you itch right now? Yeah actually; the opposite elbow got itchy just now.

If the last person you kissed came to your house now, what would you say? “Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

If your ex called you crying, what would it most likely be about? I have no clue, and she would never do that so I literally can’t imagine even a hypothetical reason for this. It has to be a super serious situation, likeeeeeee idk, maybe a death. *knocks on wood aggressively*

Who was the best kisser out of all the people you have kissed? I’ve only kissed one person, so can’t compare.

Name everyone you have texted today. This media guy celebrating his birthday today so I had to ask him for his details so we could send him a gift, as well as the contact person for the cake shop that we got in touch with to order said gift for the birthday celebrant.

Who was the last person you spoke to for over 5 minutes over the telephone? Maybe my grandma when she called a few months ago.

How many times have you went to the bathroom today? Around three times total, I think.

Who do you currently live with? My dad, mom, Nina, my brother, Kimi, and Cooper.

What do you like better: sour or sweet candy? Sweeeeeeet. No sour anything for me, thanks.

Have you ever been told that you have an annoying laugh? No but I hope this isn’t an actual thing people say to other people. They can think others’ laugh is annoying, but I think it’s one of those things that you can just try to get over and is unnecessary to raise lol.

#survey #surveys

[bittysvalentines]

I Promise You, Everything Will Be Just Fine

From: @iboughtaplant

To: @sophiegaladheon Rating: It's rated G or T so nothing to worry about rating wise. 

I hope you enjoy this fic!! It was a lot of fun to write and a challenge for me to write something under 3k (and this fic is like 2999 words so I succeeded, but not by much, lol)!  

Kent arrived home after working at the rink. He had a smile on his face as he unlocked the door, excited to just sit and watch a movie with Eric. Their schedules hadn’t lined up the last few days and they kept only seeing each other as they got ready for bed. 

Today was also the first day in a long time that Kent’s knee wasn’t acting up. It hurt from time to time, sometimes more than others. Some private ice time when his knee was feeling good last week was fun, but in hindsight, he realized it probably wasn’t worth it if his knee gave out on him a few days later. 

For Kent, thinking about his knee and how he injured it was annoying at best and traumatic at worst. But it was also good in a twisted way. If he hadn't injured his knee, he wouldn’t be coaching. And he wouldn’t have met Eric.  

An injury at the end of his rookie year (at least he got a Cup out of his short-lived career, if he could call it that) took him out of the NHL for good. Retirement the way no one wanted to retire. He didn’t even reach his prime. From number one draft pick to the rookie who busted his knee so bad he couldn’t play in the big league anymore. 

Which was how Kent ended up in a different city assistant coaching a women’s hockey team. It was also how he met Eric. 

Eric was a men’s singles figure skater who trained at the same ice rink complex as the women’s hockey team. They met by pure chance almost colliding in the doorway of the men’s locker room one day when Kent was running early and Eric was running late, which somehow made their schedules overlap. 

It was by no means love at first sight, but there was some lust. Kent couldn’t help but stare at the attractive skater in his tight fitting workout gear, a slight flush already on his face from changing so quickly. 

“I’m sorry, hun. I wasn’t watchin’ where I was going. I’m just running late and Katya’s gonna kill me.” He patted Kent’s shoulder as he walked past. “Sorry again, I gotta get to practice.” He said as he turned to walk down the corridor, skate guards clomping on the floor as he went. 

Kent shook himself out of his silence, “It’s okay…” only to trail off since the guy was already halfway down the corridor. 

Kent would spend the rest of the day—and subsequent week—thinking about the blond figure skater with the sweet Southern accent. Until, as fate would have it, they ran into each other again. And this time neither of them were running late and there were no near collisions. And most importantly Kent now knew the blond skater’s name. Eric.  

-------------------

After running into each other the second time, it became a thing. Kent’s schedule hadn’t changed, so he figured maybe Eric’s had. This time they saw each other in the locker room when they were both heading out. Kent had just finished changing his clothes as Eric walked by, skate bag in hand. 

Before Kent realized he made a decision, he called out before Eric left the locker room. “Hey, Eric! Wait up?” 

Eric stopped in his tracks. He looked hesitant, but curious as he turned to face Kent. Kent who was shoving his feet into his shoes and nearly tripped over the bench as he made his way over to Eric, who was trying to stifle a laugh behind his hand. Kent didn’t remember being this clumsy, but at least someone found it amusing.

“Ha ha, laugh at the guy who almost brained himself on his locker.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Bitty said with a giggle. 

Kent just scoffed before putting on his charming smile. “I guess I can put up with my newfound clumsiness if it means I get to see you laugh.” 

“Well, Mr. Parson, that was not smooth, but I appreciate the confidence.” 

“In that case, I’m going to confidently ask you to get coffee with me?” 

“Really?” 

“Yup. So what do you say? You, me, coffee? You can laugh at me if I walk into a door.” 

“Sounds like a plan.”

-------------------

Years of training away from home made Eric appreciate the people in his life, his found family. And while his parents supported him, they never fully understood him. Sure he and his mama were close as was possible with him training in a different state halfway across the country, but that didn’t mean his parents really knew about his life. They knew he was gay and still supported him and wanted him to succeed, but they didn’t understand why he couldn’t stay in Georgia to do it.

But moving away from Georgia to continue skating was one of the best things Eric did. He had his coach Katya, Larissa and the girls who Katya also coached, Ransom and Holster who lived nearby and befriended him when they all met while skating at a public rink, Jack and Tater who played NHL hockey, and Kent. He had Kent. 

Kent who Eric met two years ago at the rink. Kent who became Eric’s best friend—don’t let Larissa hear him say that—and then something more. 

------------------

Kent was having a good day. Practice was going great, the team really had a shot at winning their next game in a couple days, and he was having a great lunch with some of the women on the team he was friends with (he was technically one of their coaches, but he was also in the same age range as a majority of them). 

Which of course was when he felt his phone buzz with a text, followed by what seemed like a couple more. He smiled as he slipped his phone out of his pocket, figuring Eric was sneaking texts during practice. He was affectionately chirped to oblivion for the sappy smile on his face as he unlocked his phone.    

The laughing and chirping stopped on a dime as the smile fell off of his face, a furrowed brow and concerned frown taking its place. 

“Dude, what’s going on?” March asked.  

“Um, it’s Eric, I mean not actually him, Larissa sent me a text from his phone, and Katya texted me too. I have to go.” He stood up so quickly that his chair tipped over. 

“Kent, go, we’ve got it,” said Caitlin as she stood up to pick up Kent’s chair, “I hope Eric’s okay. Let us know what’s going on and give us an update when you can.” 

“Let us know if you need anything, okay?” 

“Yeah, thanks. I’m gonna…” he pointed to the door. He ran a shaky hand through his hair and grabbed his bag. 

He ordered a Lyft and leaned against the window of the cafe while he waited. It said it should be there in three minutes, but by the time it arrived it felt like it had been thirty. 

Once the car arrived he opened the door, maybe a little more aggressively than was necessary, “Sorry,” he apologized to the driver, “just in a bit of a hurry.” 

“No worries,” the driver assured him. 

“Thanks,” Kent replied slightly short of breath. Once they were on the road, Kent finally read through all the texts more carefully. Eric got injured in practice. It was serious enough to warrant a trip to the hospital. He hit his head on the ice when he fell on the landing of his triple loop. That’s what the text from Larissa said. She wasn’t sure what caused Eric to flub the jump. 

The text from Katya, who usually hated texting, was more informative. Apparently Eric’s ankle had been bothering him a bit, but it was just sore not sprained or anything. So he was only supposed to work on his jumps a few times so he could take it easy for the rest of the day. But he must have put too much strain on it. 

Kent could feel his breathing getting more and more labored. He was pretty sure he was on the verge of a panic attack. He didn’t get them often, and he was more used to being on the other side of them—when someone else was having one—but he could feel his mind spiraling a bit. 

He didn’t want Eric to go through what he did, to have a major injury that cut his career short. Rationally, Kent knew that Eric probably didn’t experience a career-ending injury, but his brain kept showing him worst case scenarios. 

Kent anxiously tapped his fingers on his knee as he tried to slow his breathing. He was mostly worried because Eric got hurt, but also freaking out because the situation kept making him cycle back to thinking about his own injury and how he didn’t get to live out his dream. He didn’t want that for Eric.

Kent pulled himself out of his anxiety spiral enough to fumble his phone in his hands and send a quick text to Jack. It was a moment where Kent was immensely grateful that he and Jack were friends despite a bit of a falling out after Jack’s overdose several years ago that meant being anything more than close friends again was out of the question. Kent was okay with that though, he and Jack worked much better as friends than boyfriends anyway. 

He expected a text back, but his phone rang only a few seconds later. He heard Jack’s voice coming through the phone. “Hey, Kenny. How are you doing?” 

“Uh, I’m okay,” he paused, “No, that’s a lie. I’m not, not okay. My figure skater boyfriend is in the hospital and I’m having a panic attack in the back of a Lyft,” He laughed, self-deprecatingly. 

“Take a deep breath, Kenny. You’re on the way to the hospital, you’ll see him soon. Just listen to my voice, I’ll stay on the phone until you get there.”

Kent tried to get his breathing under control as he listened to Jack’s soft voice. He sighed as his mind stopped racing and he was on the verge of breathing normally again.

“Thanks, Jack.” 

“Anytime, Kenny. I hope Eric feels better soon.” 

--------------

Eric couldn’t believe he fell, and on his triple loop. It should have been fine. His ankle had only been a little sore, the trainer at the rink said it would be fine for him to do a few practice runs of his jumps and take it easy. Katya agreed. Now he was sitting in a hospital bed with a fractured ankle and a pretty bad concussion. 

Katya went out into the hall to call Eric’s parents so they would know what was going on. Eric was glad he didn’t have to do that himself, but he would make sure to call his Mama later so she wouldn’t worry too much.  

Aside from that, all Eric could think was ‘Where’s Kent?’ He knew Katya and Larissa texted him, not that he was allowed to look at his phone anyway to know for sure. And even unsupervised he couldn’t check since his phone was currently in the pocket of Katya’s coat because she knew him too well. 

Just as Eric sagged back against the pillows, eyes closing as he sighed, the door was pushed open and Kent walked in. He looked a little frazzled and his hair was an absolute riot, but he smiled when Eric caught his eye. 

“Hey,” Kent said, voice rough, waving as he walked closer to Eric, throwing his bag vaguely in the direction of the chair near the bed. He stepped closer and grabbed Eric’s hand. 

“Hi, sweetheart, I was hoping someone called you.” 

“Of course they did. I’m here now. How are you? I mean I’m sure you’re feeling pretty shitty. But… you’re okay?” 

Eric managed to smile up at him even though his head was feeling a little fuzzy, “I’m okay, ‘specially now that you’re here.” 

Kent huffed out a half-laugh and then sat on the edge of Eric’s bed, putting an arm around his shoulders. Eric leaned into the embrace and instantly burst into tears. His emotions finally catching up to him now that he felt safe in Kent’s arms.  

He thought about how hard he had been training and how excited he was for this year’s short-program after tweaking it a bit, only to be disappointed he wouldn’t get to perform it in competition again. He had such a shot at placing at Nationals and then Worlds, and now thanks to one bad landing he was out. 

He was out for the year. His ankle wasn’t the worry, but the concussion was. There was no way he would be healed in time to skate at Nationals, dang head injury. And no Nationals meant no Worlds, he’d have to wait until next year. At least he would have another chance next year. It was a sobering thought, and while he wasn’t done being sad about the missed opportunity, he was lucky that he would get another shot. 

His full-fledged crying lasted a few minutes more until it devolved to sniffling into Kent’s neck and Eric was able to catch his breath. “I’m sorry for crying on you, honey.” 

“Hey, no, it’s okay. Cry as much as you need. I know how much it helps.” 

“Guess there’s always next year,” Eric responded with a half-smile, his eyes still watery as he gripped Kent tighter. Kent lightly kissed him on the forehead and hugged him back just as tightly. 

It wasn’t much, but it had Eric finally feeling a little better after his disaster of a day. 

--------------

When they got to their apartment, Kent opened the door so that he could help Eric inside since crutches weren’t the best idea while he also had a concussion throwing off his balance. 

Half of the hockey team (March, Caitlin, April and co.) stopped by in the following days. Most of them were friends, not only with Kent, but Eric too. 

It had been a week since Eric got injured, and Kent was taking care of him while he recovered. He made them dinner and even assisted Eric in the kitchen so he could make a pie. Kent tried to do all of the chores so he didn’t have to worry about Eric getting dizzy or needing to hobble around with his still healing ankle. But Eric insisted that he could still do things and he really didn’t want to sit on the couch 24/7 until he healed. 

Eric made sure to wrestle the laundry basket out of Kent’s arms so that he wouldn’t just start folding the clothes after he washed them. Their deal was one washes and the other folds. 

Eric also kept up with some yoga. “Honey, I still need to stay in shape. And yoga means I can do the poses that don’t involve putting weight on my left leg. Plus I’m already close to the ground, so quit worrying about me falling.”  

“Sorry, sorry. I should have known I was smothering you.” 

“Mothering maybe, but not smothering. I love how much you care ‘bout me.” 

“Yeah?” Kent asked with hope in his eyes. 

“Mmhmm, of course. Thank you for taking care of me. But shouldn’t you be at the rink? The team needs you. I know that they have a game coming up.” 

“I’m just an assistant coach, they can make do without me.” 

“Kent Parson, stop undervaluing yourself. You are an asset to that team, and we all know it.” 

Kent blushed in response to Eric’s forceful reassurance of his worth. 

“I guess. But yeah, I probably should be at the rink. I got enough angry texts that I’m choosing to ignore.” 

“Kenny, please go to the rink. We can make dinner and listen to some podcasts when you get back later.” 

“Well you didn’t suggest watching something, so at least you remember you’re still on limited screen time.” 

“As if you’d let me forget,” Eric grumbled, his arms crossed in front of his chest. 

-------------------

One Year Later 

As the music faded out, Eric glided across the ice towards the edge of the rink, stopping with a flourish before leaning his arms atop the boards. “How was that!?” He excitedly asked Kent who was standing on the other side.

“Amazing! You hardly wobbled on your quad and the landing on your triple axel was perfect.”  

“Thanks for staying late to watch me run through this, honey,” Eric said and leaned further over the boards to wrap his arms around Kent.  

Kent laughed, bracing himself as he wrapped his arms around Eric as well. “Of course, I love watching you skate. And with just the two of us here, it feels like you’re skating just for me,” Kent said, his breath tickling Eric’s ear. 

“Mr. Parson, you really know how to charm a boy.” 

“It’s a gift,” Kent smirked. 

“Sure,” Eric said with a smirk of his own. “I’m just so excited for Nationals next week. I can’t wait to skate this routine.” 

“You’re gonna be great, babe.” 

“Thanks, honey. Now what do you say we stop and pick up take-out on our way home?” 

“I think it’s the least you can do since you kept us at the rink for hours,” Kent replied jokingly, shaking Eric who was still in his arms, despite the awkwardness of the boards between them. 

“Ha ha,” Eric said deadpan. 

“Whatever, I’ll grab our stuff, you change out of your skates,” Kent said as he let go of Eric and they met at the rink door.  

“Meet at the door near the side parking lot?” Eric questioned. 

“Yup, five minutes.” 

“I bet I’ll beat you there.” 

“Oh, it’s a race now?” Kent asked, eyebrows raised. 

“When isn’t it a race?” Eric asked, smile on his face, a hand on his cocked hip.   

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