#wolfstar hurt/comfort

[ellecdc]

I come with wolfstar comfort thoughts <3

When you're sick remus is wonderful, he hates seeing you ill so he does everything he can to help: makes you tea, maybe some soup, gets you some meds and puts you on the sofa with a blanket and a pillow (sirius's chest)

Sirius on the other hand is less sure of what to do but he still wants to help so he let's remus tell him what to do, he's in charge of physical stuff like carrying you to the sofa (even if you're perfectly capable of walking) and being your human pillow while remus is busy in the kitchen, he's also tasked with moral support which mainly consists of stupid jokes and funny stories (he has many of james being a total drama queen when he got ill in the dorms)

I hope you feel better soon <3

-💫anon

poor Siri - I had a vision for this and now that it's written, I'm not sure I quite hit the mark, but let me know what you think! and thanks for your request <3

poly!wolfstar x sick!reader who they plan to nurse back to health

CW: fem!reader, cold/flu symptoms, brief passing mention of Sirius' childhood (no details), fluff

Sirius closed the door behind him and tossed his keys haphazardly into the dish that Remus insisted they go in, causing a loud clanging which echoed through the hallway. 

He realised only then how quiet the flat was in comparison which was rather unusual for this time of day as you and Remus always managed to beat Sirius home. 

Sirius felt some tension ease from his face (and body and soul) when he saw a familiar head of tawny curls over the back of the couch. 

His plans for a surprise upside-down Spiderman style kiss - to what he had assumed was a sleeping Moony having fallen asleep reading a book - was foiled when Sirius came around the top of the couch to see you - looking particularly pathetic - curled up and resting your head in Remus’ lap fast asleep. 

“Wha-?” Sirius asked dumbly, looking between Remus’ sad smile and your sleeping form - you seemed flushed and were breathing with your mouth open, likely because you couldn’t breathe from your nose.

“Hey Pads.” Remus offered quietly.

“What happened?”

Remus grimaced as he looked down at you and brushed some of your hair away from your face; you didn’t even stir. “I don’t think she ever made it to work today; I got home and found her on the couch.”

And Sirius could see that this was likely true, based on the vast amount of evidence that you’d been living on the sofa. 

You’d tried to contain your used tissues to a paper bag but there were a few stragglers from where you no doubt lacked the strength to put much effort into aiming anymore. A half empty waterbottle and a bowl of soup with a layer of film on the top sat dejectedly on the coffee table along with a packet of Benilyn with a few missing tablets.

“Poor babydoll.” Sirius cooed as he rubbed Remus’ shoulder. 

Remus turned to press a kiss to Sirius’ hand before gently lifting your head in order to stand.

“We’ll nurse her back to health in no time.”

Sirius felt his eyebrows furrowed as he watched Remus gently lower your head onto a throw pillow; still never managing to rouse you from your sleep. 

“How do we do that?” Sirius asked.

Remus hummed as he made for the kitchen and Sirius followed him much like a lost puppy. “Well she needs lots of rest, and we should try to get her to eat before we give her anything to bring down her fever; she hardly ate any of the soup she made earlier. Maybe some Chamomile too. But I want to start by bringing her fever down.” He said with finality as he started puttering in the kitchen. 

“What should I do?” Sirius asked like a child helping their parents in the kitchen; he felt worse than useless, he felt like he was in the way.

This is what happens when you don’t have a loving family; you don’t always know how to love - the verb to love, the action of loving someone. 

Sirius feels love, he knows that much. He just doesn’t always know what to do with all of that love.

Luckily for him, he had two of the loveliest partners in the world to help him on that end. 

Remus turned to smile softly at Sirius before leaning down to peck a kiss to his head. “Go change into some comfies and I’ll put you to work.”

And well, Sirius didn’t need to be told twice. 

Officially donned in his favourite pair of sweats and a long sleeve band tee, Sirius returned to find Remus knelt in front of you on the couch as he whispered. 

“I know, Dovey.” Sirius could hear Remus coo quietly as he approached. “Think you can try for me, though?”

You made a sound halfway between a groan and a sob as you pulled yourself into a seated position and accepted a cup of tea from Remus. 

“Too much honey.” You protested meekly without even taking a sip; Sirius was sure he could smell the honey from where he was standing.

“It’ll help your throat, love.” 

You groaned again but took a dutiful sip which earned you a beaming smile from Remus. 

“I feel horrid.” You croaked, and Remus - god love him - managed to not grimace at the sound; Sirius was thankful he was stationed behind the sofa where you couldn’t see him, because he was not as gracious as your other boyfriend. 

“I bet. When did you last take these?” Remus asked as he motioned towards the medication.

“It was early, I think around eleven.” 

Remus hummed in acknowledgement as he stood from his crouched position. “You should be okay to have more once you’ve got something in your stomach, then. I’ll make soup, okay? Here Pads.” He pointed towards Remus’ now vacated spot on the couch. 

Sirius offered you a sad smile as you turned to look at him. “When did you get home?” You queried.

Remus scoffed in response. “I’m surprised he didn’t wake you, sweet girl, the way he comes in and throws his shit everywhere.”

Sirius scoffed in faux offence. “I am very graceful, thank you very much.”

Whoever said laughter was the best medicine was a sodding liar, because though Sirius got what he had sort of wanted (which was to see you smile), your chuckle quickly turned into a coughing fit. 

“Alright, that’s it.” Remus chided jokingly. “Sirius, lay here please.”

Sirius dutifully followed Remus’ direction and laid back on the sofa with his head resting on the arm and his legs spread, welcoming you into his arms as Remus encouraged you to lay back down with your head resting on Sirius’ stomach. 

“Neither of you are to move until Y/N is better.” Remus ordered with severity no one truly believed. 

“I hope she never gets better then.” Sirius harrumphed as he burrowed further into the sofa beneath him and rubbed loving strokes up and down your back as you wormed your hands around Sirius’ middle. 

“That’s mean.” You pouted.

“I was just saying that to our tyrant, dolly; you get better but pretend you’re not so we can trick him into letting us stay like this forever, deal?” 

“Deal.” You agreed with a sniffling sigh, causing Sirius to tsk in sympathy. 

“My poor sweet girl, so poorly. S’breaking my heart.”

Sirius could feel the heat radiating from your forehead as you hid your face in his stomach.

“I feel a bit better now.” You barely got out without coughing. 

“Forgive me if I don’t believe you, babygirl.” Sirius said with a sad chuckle. 

“It’s true.” You insisted sleepily, turning your head again so that your cheek was pressed against Sirius as you looked up somewhat dopily at him. “It’s always better when you guys are here.” 

And you were likely a little loopy from your fever, feeling more than vulnerable in your current state, and sufficiently doted upon by both Remus and Sirius; but Sirius couldn’t help but admit you were certainly onto something.

Sirius always felt better when the two of you were around too.

#marauders era #marauders au #marauders fanfiction #reader insert #self insert #sirius black #remus lupin #sick fic #wolfstar #wolfstar x reader #wolfstar x you #poly!wolfstar #poly!wolfstar x reader #poly!wolfstar x you #sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x you #sirius black x remus lupin #fem!reader #wolfstar hurt/comfort #poly!wolfstar fluff #poly!wolfstar imagine #poly!wolfstar blurb #ellecdc fics

[mcdynamite]

Dream

Little late posting this, but written for the @wolfstarmicrofic prompt for February 4th: Dream. Sort of failed miserably at the "micro"fic part, but here you go! 3.3k of Wolfstar! (CW for mention of The Prank, but the story takes place months after it actually happens. Happy/hopeful ending guaranteed!)

Now posted to AO3!

The Gryffindor Common Room is uncannily quiet late at night, long after its many residents have retreated to the safety of their beds. What is ordinarily a bustling, cacophonous space becomes one of stillness… of silence.

But Remus has never minded the quiet.

On the contrary, he quite likes it – the way he can hear the crackling of the hearth as it radiates warmth into the large, empty space. Sometimes, on nights when sleep is even more elusive than usual, he finds himself sitting on the plush couch nearest the fire, keeping the tower’s resident fire-dwelling salamanders company.

Tonight is one of those nights, and he’s only just turned to the next chapter in his novel when he hears the soft padding of footsteps coming down the stairwell from the boys’ dormitories.

He’s not terribly surprised to see that the boy who emerges from the shadows is one he knows quite well. Achingly well, if he’s honest.

Sirius looks exhausted and skittish when he steps into the firelight, and he jumps, slightly, when he lays eyes on Remus, who stares silently up at him from where he’s lounging on the couch. A year ago, one of them would have made a quip about not being able to sleep as they settled in comfortably beside each other, words long having ceased to be necessary.

But this isn’t a year ago. This is now, and even though Remus forgave Sirius for his ill-conceived “prank” on Severus Snape some time ago, things are still different. They’ve been different ever since that night, even after their reconciliation following James’s frantic Floo call to Remus’s cottage on the night Sirius ran away from home.

They’ve only been back at Hogwarts for a few weeks, and though Remus is loath to admit it, the two of them still seem to be finding their footing with each other.

This isn’t a year ago, and Remus knows that’s why Sirius stops short when he first enters the room.

“Remus,” Sirius says softly. His voice is hoarse from sleep, tainted with an edge of guilt Remus desperately wishes weren’t there.

“Hi,” Remus breathes. He closes his book – offers Sirius a small smile. “You’re up awfully late.”

Sirius smiles hesitantly, his eyes darting around the room like he’s waiting for something awful to come leaping out of the shadows. He’s like this often, now – ever since he ran away – and even after weeks of seeing him like this, it doesn’t break Remus’s heart any less. “I’m sorry,” Sirius mutters. “I didn’t know you’d be down here. I can go, if you-”

“No, don’t,” Remus interjects quickly, because even after everything, Remus craves Sirius’s presence like a sprout craves sunlight. Sirius still looks hesitant, so Remus pats the cushion beside him. “Really, Sirius, it’s okay.”

We’re okay, Remus wants to say, only he doesn’t, for fear of being proven wrong.

Still, Sirius flounders for a bit, and Remus wonders if the other boy is really going to flee back up the stairs, after all. But eventually, Sirius sighs and makes his way over, sitting a foot or so away on the other side of the couch.

It’s yet another thing that’s changed, in the last few months. A year ago, Sirius would’ve sat so close they’d be touching from ankle to shoulder – practically on Remus’s lap. Remus quickly pushes the thought away, because if he thinks about it for too long, he may do something terribly embarrassing like cry. Instead, he focuses on the much more important problem at hand, which is the fact that Sirius is still plenty close enough for Remus to notice the trembling in his hands.

Remus swallows and stares at his friend’s shaking fingers, feeling rather wrong-footed. He hates this – God, he fucking hates this. He hates that Sirius is hurting. He hates that things are so strange between them, nowadays. He hates that the strangeness does nothing but make Remus feel like he’s missing a limb – trying to walk without a leg – and that it makes him feel unable to comfort someone who means more to him than anyone could possibly imagine. More than Remus has even admitted to himself.

“Sirius,” Remus says, setting the book on the table beside the couch. “Are you alright?”

The question makes Sirius curl in on himself, and Remus waits patiently for a response, if he’s going to get one at all.

“I-” Sirius starts, then cuts himself off with a sigh. “Yeah, I… it’s fine, Rem. Just a bad dream. You know how it goes.”

Remus does know how it goes, is the thing. He knows better than anyone, because he and Sirius have been sharing the darkest hours of the nights for years after bad dreams – after visions of glowing yellow eyes and sharp teeth have Remus waking in a cold sweat, and memories of shouted curses do the same to Sirius. They’ve talked each other through the aftermath. Held each other at the worst of times, occasionally waking up the next morning so tangled together that Remus couldn’t tell where he ended and Sirius began.

But they don’t do that anymore. Not since…

Remus doesn’t want to think about that, right now.

“Yeah,” he says quietly. “I know.”

There’s a long pause before Sirius speaks again.

“You know…” Sirius says tiredly. “I’m not sure I can remember the last time I had a good dream.”

The statement takes Remus by surprise, not because he’s surprised to hear that Sirius feels this way, but because he’s surprise to hear Sirius say it. It feels dangerously close to opening up, and that’s something the two of them haven’t done with each other in a long, long time.

“There are nights where I don’t really dream, or at least, not that I remember, you know?” Sirius continues. “But I can’t remember the last time I dreamt about something that was good. Something that made me happy.”

Remus’s heart beats unsteadily in his chest, because this, strangely enough, is not something he can relate to. Remus does have good dreams, on occasion, and a great many of them feature the boy with whom he is currently sharing a couch. He’s done his best to shove them to the back of his mind, whenever he wakes up from them. He relegates them to that ever-expanding box of Sirius-related memories that would be better off forgotten and moves on, only now… Sirius is right beside him, prodding at the box with long, aristocratic fingers, and Remus can feel the lid beginning to slip.

But he’s been silent for too long, and he should know better, because Sirius Black has never been able to resist filling a silence. “Do you have good dreams, Moony?” he asks softly.

Remus won’t lie, but that doesn’t mean he has to tell the whole truth. “Sometimes,” he says noncommittally, praying that will be enough of an answer for Sirius.

It’s not. Of course, it’s not.

“Yeah?” Sirius asks, turning sideways to face him – one elbow propped up on the back of the couch and a knee resting on the cushions between them. “What about?”

“Mundane things, really,” Remus answer diplomatically. “Everything’s so awful, out there in the real world, for people like me. Sometimes I dream that I just… disappear. Get a little cottage somewhere off the beaten path, with a garden, and a crup or a kneazle, and I can just sort of… exist, you know?”

It’s all true, even if he’s leaving out the most important parts. The part about Sirius being there with him, cooking dinner together in a tiny kitchen. The part about the bed he shares with a boy with long, wavy black hair and shining grey eyes, that leave him waking up hard and aching with want.

He swallows, and Sirius studies him for what feels like an eternity. Remus is certain that his face must be giving something away. He’s never been particularly good at poker.

“Sounds lonely,” Sirius murmurs, and it cuts through Remus like a knife.

It is, he wants to say. It is, because at least before, I could trick myself into thinking that maybe I wasn’t so crazy. That maybe you could be there, after all.

Instead, he says, “It’s not. Not always, at least. Sometimes I’m not alone.”

There’s a flicker of something sad and haunted in Sirius’s eyes. “Good,” he whispers. “I don’t want you to be alone, Moony. You don’t deserve that.”

Remus blinks at him – barely even thinks before uttering, “Neither do you.”

He nearly chokes on all of the words left unsaid in the silence that follows. There’s a palpable tension in the air, and Remus wonders if perhaps it’s all in his head or if Sirius can feel it too – if Sirius can feel the crushing, all-consuming weight of Remus’s love for him, attempting to bully its way out of Remus’s throat and into the open, like water testing the integrity of an overburdened dam.

Sirius’s gaze is a weighty thing, when it finally settles on Remus again. “Your dream sounds nice,” Sirius says. Remus feels his eyes begin to sting. “Practical, but sort of cozy. Like you.” His ears turn crimson when he says the last, and Remus has to wonder whether he meant to say it at all.

“You could do it too, you know,” Remus says tightly. “There’s nothing stopping you.”

There’s another pause – a long one.

“We could do it together,” Sirius says.

He’s poking that box of memories, again, and this time, the lid goes tumbling off.

Remus laughs wetly and quickly brushes away a tear he never granted permission to fall. “Sometimes we do,” he confesses. “When I dream about it.”

He glances at Sirius, who’s looking at him with wide, teary eyes, and finds that he can’t stop now that the lid is off the box, now that the dam has begun to crack under the pressure.

“Sometimes you come with me,” he says, voice shaking. “And you laugh at me when I fuss over the garden. You bring that muggle record player you have and never turn it off. And sometimes we quarrel about dinner, or whose turn it is to feed the crup, but we’re-” Remus’s voice breaks, and he sniffles. “We’re happy.”

He feels a bit like he’s losing his mind when he finishes, and he can’t bring himself to look at Sirius. It’s as close to a full confession as Remus will ever get, and Sirius is an idiot, sometimes, but he’s not stupid. He’ll be able to put two and two together, and then Remus’s secret – the only one he’s kept closer to his chest than his lycanthropy – will be out. Exposed like a wound that will never fully heal.

Sirius’s voice is strained and soft, when he speaks again. “Remus,” he croaks. “Remus, I…”

He never finishes the thought, and Remus’s blood begins to burn with shame.

But then… Sirius murmurs something else. “Remus, I want that.”

They’re the words Remus has been longing to hear for years, but dismissing them is astonishingly easy.

“You don’t mean that,” Remus says flatly.

“I do, though.”

“No, Sirius, you don’t,” Remus snaps, rising to his feet. “You don’t know what you’re saying – what I’m saying. You don’t know what you’re agreeing to, it’s-”

“No, Remus, listen to me,” Sirius pleads. He reaches out, nimble fingers encircling Remus’s wrist, and Remus freezes. It’s the first time they’ve touched each other beyond an accidental bump in the halls since the night of the prank, and his skin suddenly feels too tight for his body. He’s so shocked, he can’t even bring himself to resist when Sirius pulls him back down to sit on the couch again, much closer this time. Their knees brush against each other, and the contact burns hot like a brand.

Remus looks at Sirius – meets his gaze properly – and is stunned to find that his grey eyes are filled with tears.

“I know what you mean,” Sirius insists. “And I mean what I’m saying, Remus, surely you know that.”

“Sirius, it’s just a dream,” Remus counters tearfully. His heart is dangerously close to cracking open right there inside his chest, and he’s not ready. God, he’s not ready to have his heart broken by the conversation he knows is coming. “And you’re not… you don’t feel that way about me. Not like I do for you.”

“Remus,” Sirius whispers, soft and urgent, like Remus is the one breaking his heart, and not the other way around. “Everyone knows. Everyone knows that I- that I-” He can’t seem to get the words out, but Remus knows what his imagination wants to fill in at the end of the sentence. Two words that simply cannot be true.

Until Sirius Black, unpredictable as ever, does what Remus has never, in four impossibly long years, been able to do.

“Everyone knows that I love you, Remus,” Sirius says, tears streaking down his alabaster cheeks. “Everyone except you.”

Remus forgets how to breathe. “What?”

Sirius sniffles and releases his grip on Remus’s wrist in favor of tangling their fingers together. “I have no right to say that, Moony, I know that. I do. Especially not after… what I did last year. But Gods, I- I can’t do this any longer. I’ve been disowned by my family, Remus, I haven’t talked to Reggie in months, and I’ve still never missed anyone as much as I’ve missed you.”

Remus shakes his head, unable to believe what he’s hearing with his own ears. “Sirius, we talk to each other every day-”

“But we don’t, do we?” Sirius argues, desperate. “Not like we used to. Not like I wish we did. It’s different, now.”

“Of course it’s different!” Remus hisses, his fingers tightening around Sirius’s, even as his own heart tries to pull away. “It’s- I can’t… I’m not…” He huffs in frustration and fails miserably at blinking back the tears that won’t stop coming. Sirius looks utterly devastated when Remus glances at him.

“I know,” Sirius mutters brokenly. “I know, Remus. You can say it.”

Remus takes a shaky breath, and he thinks of all the things he’s wanted to say to Sirius for the last few months – all the questions he’s never asked – but they’re questions he knows Sirius won’t have answers for. Sirius will never be able to tell him why he sold Remus out to Snape, that night, because Sirius doesn’t know why. That much has been clear from the moment it happened.

So Remus doesn’t ask. What he says, instead, is this:

“I don’t understand why it had to be you,” Remus whispers, and he can’t look at Sirius’s face, right now, so instead he looks at their joined hands. “That’s the most fucked up part of this whole mess, Sirius. When I think about it…” He pauses. “When I think about things that I wish were different, my first thought is never that I wish the whole prank never happened – it’s that I wish it had been someone, anyone, other than you who did it.”

Sirius is silent – head bowed and hand shaking in Remus’s grasp, despite how tightly they’re clinging to each other.

“I know it sounds mad, but it’s true,” Remus continues. “Because I love James, and Peter, and Lily – you know I do – but not…” He takes a deep breath and raises his eyes to meet Sirius’s. God, what a messy, tragic pair they make.

He squeezes Sirius’s hand.

“Not like I love you.”

Sirius’s breath hitches softly, his red-rimmed grey eyes flitting back and forth across Remus’s face while the words hang in the air between them. The silence is deafening, ringing with the truths that have finally been voiced after years of silence – that Remus and Sirius’s relationship has never been quite like the others. That it’s always been a different sort of love.

Of course, it’s Sirius who ultimately shatters the silence, and Remus hardly has time to register what’s happening before Sirius chokes out a sob and launches himself into Remus’s arms, clambering into Remus’s lap and wrapping around him like a koala. The broken apologies that emerge between sobs are the final blow to Remus’s fractured heart, and he feels the moment it cracks open, bleeding desperation into every cell in his body. He winds his arms around Sirius’s body and holds him close – just like he used to after their worst nightmares – and stops trying to fight the tears.

“I’m sorry, Remus, I’m so sorry,” Sirius pleads, breaths ghosting over the exposed skin of Remus’s neck. “Please, Remus, you have to believe me. I’m so sorry. Forgive me. Please.” I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

Remus knows – he’s always known – and he forgave Sirius a long time ago, only because he knew Sirius would never forgive himself.

“I know,” Remus murmurs, holding Sirius so tightly he’s nearly surprised Sirius has any air left to speak. “And I do. It’s okay. We’re…” He pauses, because, he wants to tell Sirius that they’re okay, but they’re not. Not really. Not yet. “We’ll be okay, Sirius. We will. I swear it.”

He hears Sirius let out a shuddering breath, but he feels, more than hears, Sirius murmur into the skin of his neck, “I love you.”

“I know,” Remus says again, burying his face in the crook of Sirius’s neck, where the soft wool of his sweater gives way to smooth skin. Sirius’s arms tighten around his middle. “I love you, too.”

“I want-” Sirius starts, interrupted by a soft hiccup. “I want to have good dreams again, Moony.” His voice sounds so small – like that of a child – and it makes Remus ache.

Slowly, gently, Remus extricates himself from Sirius’s grasp so he can look Sirius in the eye. His hand hardly feels like his own when he lets it rest against Sirius’s flush cheek, brushing away the still-falling tears with a careful swipe of his thumb.

They’ve shared a bed dozens of times, before. Spent entire evenings on this very couch with Remus’s head in Sirius’s lap while they laughed with their friends. Sirius is straddling him right now, in this very moment, but this – Remus cradling Sirius’s face in his hand, stubbornly thumbing away tears while they stare at each other, gazes open and honest in a way they’ve never been, even before the prank – is undeniably the most intimate thing they’ve ever done.

And Remus knows, now, what he’s denied for so long – that there will always, always be a part of him that loves Sirius Black, and miraculously, he thinks Sirius may always love him, in return. It may not be tonight, but one day, Sirius will gather the shards of Remus’s heart and put it back together. Breathe love into it like oxygen. And Remus will do the same for him.

Maybe they can start right now.

“You will,” Remus says softly, a wobbly smile on his lips. “But for now, you can borrow mine, if you’d like.”

Sirius’s eyes widen with wonder, and God, Remus loves him. He loves him so much it hurts.

Remus doesn’t know this, yet, but in two years, the two of them will lay together in their bed and bicker teasingly about who kissed who first. Remus will claim that it was Sirius who first leaned in, and Sirius, ever the contrarian, will say the opposite. But they’ll smile through the playful disagreement, and sooner or later, the argument will end with one of them cheekily fitting their lips together in a successful attempt at distraction.

But this isn’t two years from now. Not yet. So for now, Remus doesn’t particularly care whether it’s him or Sirius who initiated it. His only cares in the world are that Sirius tastes like mint toothpaste, and his lips are soft and pliant against Remus’s own, and that their first kiss is a little wet with tears and a little devastating, but still perfect.

It’s perfect because it’s them – RemusandSirius – and for now, that’s enough.

For now, Remus Lupin kisses Sirius Black and smiles, because for the first time in a long time, he knows that his favorite dreams are finally, finally within reach.

#wolfstar #wolfstar microfic #but not a microfic at all #wolfstar fic #wolfstar angst #wolfstar fluff #wolfstar hurt/comfort #love confessions #The Prank #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #Marauders Era #happy ending #angst with a happy ending #forget #mcdynamite writes

[dingusfreakhxrrington]

the comfort of the moon

pairing: sirius black x remus lupin

summary: sirius hasn’t been the same since he ran away from home but luckily someone was there to keep him company even in his darkest moments

warnings: mature, angst, nightmares, mentions of trauma, references to child abuse, mention of scars, mentions of injury, graphic depictions of violence and torture, hurt/comfort, just a dash of fluff

mentioned spells: lacero - cutting curse, tormensia - similar to crucio but not as severe, impulsum - the bludgeoning curse, crucio - torture curse (unforgivable)

word count: 1.3k

read on ao3

friendly reminder that comments and reblogs are just as (if not more than) important as likes!

It had been weeks since the incident. Since Sirius had run away from home. He was living with the Potters now. Thank Merlin, Remus thought. At least he was safe now.

Still, they all worried about him. They knew his increase in day-to-day dramatics and mischief was an attempt to convince them that he was okay — that he was still the same old Sirius.

But he wasn’t. Not really.

It came at night. When he was unable to distract his mind with other things. When he was lying alone in bed, surrounding curtains drawn not quite tight enough to ward off the lurking monsters under his bed.

Remus heard it. The increasing beat of his heart. The opening of his fear-stricken eyes. The stifled cries that followed. Tears that never seemed to cease until the sun was finally back in the sky. Of course he did. He always heard everything, especially in the small space of their shared bedroom.

It didn’t take superhuman senses to know things were not as okay as Sirius insisted they were. James and Peter had sensed it as well. They had also heard the muffled tears, but they knew their friend. They knew Sirius wouldn’t want to talk about it, not to them.

Tossing and turning followed by a string of quiet nos and then, finally, the usually cheerful boy would begin to sob.

Remus didn’t know much about what had happened the night he ran away, other than it was bad, but he had a good idea of what Sirius had been going through all those years.

Lacero. Tormensia. Impulsum. Crucio. Those were just a few of the curses Sirius was more than familiar with, having had them inflicted on him by the very people who were supposed to love and protect him.

Remus had seen the scars and even tended to Sirius when he returned to school with fresh wounds. He’d wiped away the blood and pinched healing potions and salves from Madam Pomfrey.

It wasn’t long before Remus found his legs moving for him as he quietly climbed from his bed and began to tiptoe across the room. When he reached the side of Sirius’ bed, he hesitated as he reached out for the curtain.

Finally, he allowed his fingers to curl around the fabric and he pulled it back, open just enough for him to climb in. Sirius, in this time, had rolled over to his other side, turning away from Remus as he sniffled to himself, halting his tears.

Remus had expected Sirius to tell him to go away so he was surprised to find the older boy didn’t so much a move when he climbed in behind him. He drew the curtain closed again, sheltering them both from the world outside and after a moment, carefully placed an arm around Sirius, who still didn’t make a single sound. It seemed to bring some comfort to him though, because he did not cry again that night.

The next morning, when he awoke, Remus was already back in his own bed.

This became a sort of routine for them after that, although neither spoke of it. Not while they lay in bed in each other’s arms, nor when they resumed their day as normal come morning. There was a silent understanding between them, a hushed promise.

Every night now Remus found himself in Sirius’ bed. He’d creep over after James and Peter were asleep, getting into bed with his best friend in an attempt to keep the nightmares at bay.

They still came though, no matter what he did. Night after night. Memories of pain, suffering, anguish. He’d feel the burn in his scars as if they were still fresh and weeping bloodstained tears. Fear would strike through him, his eyes bursting open with the image of his mother’s cruel wand still flinging vile curses at him fresh in his mind.

“Crucio!” she cried, turning her wand on her eldest son.

He screamed, knees buckling as he collapsed to the ground. His father scowled down at him, his greatest failure. Regulus tried to look away as his brother’s body contorted on the ground, twisting in pain. The perfect son, a coward who could do nothing in the way of saving his brother from torment.

Sirius screamed until he no longer recognised his own voice. He screamed still as his voice began to give out, pained cries fading to silence. Still, tears continued to pour across his pale cheeks.

His body jerked forward when he finally broke free, the nightmare still all too real. He was sitting up now, hands moving to wipe the tears from his face. Remus was already sitting beside him, hand resting softly on his back as he coaxed him out of the past.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, voice oh so gentle, “I’m here… I’m right here.”

It was the first time either of them had ever spoken a word during their recent nighttime visits.

He knew the other boys had woken. This time he’d been crying out in his sleep, “No… no… mother… mother, please... please, stop… it… it hurts…”

They had heard him. They too were sitting upright in their beds. They’d have already come to him if they hadn’t realised Remus was already there, already by his side.

Only when his breathing slowed back to normal and they heard rustling as the other two boys lay back down, did Peter and James finally allow themselves to go back to sleep.

They knew now so there was no need for Remus to go back to his bed in the morning. Sirius began to grow used to the warmth beside him, engulfing him entirely when his sleepy eyes finally peeled open.

Still, no one spoke of it. Sirius didn’t like to be pitied, after all. So, when the sun finally rose, things went back to normal. They laughed and joked and got into all sorts of trouble.

Then the shadow of night fell over them again but no matter how bad the nightmares got it was okay because he was there. And, after a little while, they stopped coming so frequently.

It all became so much more bearable because he wasn’t alone anymore. He wasn’t trapped in that godforsaken house surrounded by people who loathed him. No, now he was with his friends. He was with Remus.

They never spoke of their feelings. Not once during all of it. They probably wouldn’t for some time still. It was a difficult thing to put into words, especially after everything they’d been through. Still, even without words it was known. To them and to their friends.

He rolled over, already feeling calm again after yet another painful dream. Remus was already awake, his sleepy eyes softening when Sirius’ head fell back down onto the pillow beside him.

With a gentle thumb, he wiped the tears from the other boy’s eyes.

Without words, Sirius shuffled closer, nuzzling his head under Remus’ chin. The younger boy pulled him close, wrapping his arms around his warm frame, and began to run soothing fingers through raven hair.

“Thank you,” the elder mumbled, although there was so much more he wanted to say.

Later. He would tell him later. Tell him how thankful he was. Tell him how safe he felt with Remus by his side. Tell him how much he loved him.

For once, the blanket of darkness that came with the setting of the sun didn’t seem quite so bad. Because the stars weren’t alone anymore. Now, they had the comfort of the moon.

In the morning, James smiled down at his friends. Not the least bit surprised to find the two of them entangled from head to toe, completely wrapped up in one another as they slept. Sirius snored quietly into Remus’ chest, arms draped loosely around him.

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#—dinguswritings ⌕ #sirius black x remus lupin #remus lupin x sirius black #wolfstar #wolfstar fluff #wolfstar angst #sirius black #remus lupin #padfood #moony #moony lupin #wolfstar fic #wolfstar fanfiction #wolfstar fanfic #sirius black angst #wolfstar hurt/comfort #hurt/comfort

[demonbanisher]

Another soft sad one for you today. Also, I just want to say I see all your lovely comments and I am working on catching up with them. Please keep sharing your thoughts. I love hearing from you all 💜

TW: postpartum depression, discussion of uteruses, intersex discrimination in healthcare, discussion of infertility, discussions of past medical trauma and serious injury (by this I mean talking about the stuff that happened in Unexpected). These conversations are kinda complex and nuanced and so if I miss any trigger warnings or there is something specific you think I should add please let me know.

Master List for this AU here and you can read this one on AO3 here

Stormy Seas

“You have postpartum depression,” the doctor said and Remus felt like he was underwater. He could see Sirius and the doctor talking, and Addie sitting on his lap, but it was all like a pantomime. He was just swimming through the world desperately trying not to drown.

It wasn’t until they were out of the office and past the nurse and through the waiting room that should have been noisy that Remus heard the muffled sounds of Sirius calling his name and finally came up for a breath.

“Yes?” he said. His throat was full of seaweed.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine.”

Sirius knew he was lying but he also knew that Remus knew that Sirius knew that. So it wasn’t going to do them any good for him to point it out. “We can still try a magical doctor if you want.”

“We’re not sure if they’re still looking for me,” Remus said, glancing back down at his leg. “This is safer.”

“Okay, love,” Sirius said and set his hand on the centre console.

Remus took it and felt nothing.

When they got home, Sirius took care of getting Addie out of the car. Remus felt a wave of guilt when he realized he couldn’t remember Sirius taking her from him at the doctor’s office to strap her into the backseat.

“I’m going to see if James and Lily will come over for a bit? Why don’t you run a warm bath for your leg?”

Remus nodded and wandered obediently in the direction of the bathroom, staring at the water running from the faucet for a little too long. He cast a water protection spell over his brace and then climbed in.

He was still sitting there later, long after the water had gone cold and the bubbled had faded, trying to find the energy to get up.

“Remus?” A voice said, “Can I come in?”

And Remus must have said yes because a moment later Lily was beside the tub, holding up a towel as she politely looked away so he could get out.

Remus wrapped it around himself and then sat down on the shower chair they kept for particularly bad moons, or broken legs it seemed. “Can I ask you something, Lily?”

“Of course.”

“How do you feel about having a uterus?”

She looked surprised and Remus immediately felt the seaweed reaching up his throat again, strangling him for talking about things he wasn’t supposed to ask.

“I don’t know,” she said thinking. “I guess the first time I was really aware of it was when I got my first period and I really hated having one then. I hate that people think they can tell me what to do because of it or how I can use it. But it’s going to be the thing that gives James and I some new additions to our family and that makes it kind of hard to hate.”

“You are James are going to have kids?” It was a dumb question really. Lily and James always talked about having kids.

“We’re thinking of trying soon actually. I’m gonna warn you right now I think James is going to try and set our first born up with Addie.”

Remus managed a small smile for her sake more than for his.

“Was there something in particular you wanted to talk about?”

Remus shivered, looking down at his feet that were slowly becoming covered in barnacles, inching his way up his legs, turning them to stone.

“Hold that thought, okay?” Lily said. “I’m going to get you some warm clothes.” She left and came back with some sweatpants, a t-shirt, and a hoodie and turned her back so Remus could change. Somehow this made talking to her easier.

“I didn’t get to choose or I guess I did," Remus started as he got dressed slowly. "I’m sorry, I don’t know how much Sirius told you about me being intersex but there were always conversations about fertility. Even before I knew how babies were made, the doctors were talking about what procedures would give me the best chance at having a kid. They talked a lot about procedures, about which ones would make me look ‘normal’, which ones we should do if I decided I wanted to a girl, which ones made sense if I wanted to be a boy, which ones were easier and therefore should dictate what gender I chose. It was mostly bullshit, but I did have to choose hormones and blockers and then getting off blockers and then surgeries and scans and follow-up procedures.

“I didn't get to choose that I'm intersex, but it always felt like I had to choose this body and what it looked like and how it worked. In the end it didn’t matter. Shortly after Sirius and I got married, I went to see a fertility doctor and they told me I could never carry a viable pregnancy and I felt like the life I chose, expanding Sirius and I’s little family, all went up in smoke and it went up in smoke because of the body I chose.

Remus paused, trying to fight back the ocean that was pouring out of him and the way its salty taste burned, but he couldn't and so he just kept drowning in all his truth. “The only thing I could do was to hate myself. To hate this body for what it took from him. What it took from us. And so my uterus was this broken thing and I kinda stared to believe all the things the bullshit doctors had told me. That because I wasn’t a 'man' or a 'woman,' I was just wrong.

“And then Addie happened and she was just coming out of me and I didn’t have a choice. I - I died. For a moment Sirius and my daughter were right there and I wasn’t. The doctors did what they had to save me so I can’t be mad about that but it meant they made choices about my body. Choices I can’t undo and years of careful planning and decision making were for nothing."

“Since Addie, Sirius and I haven’t had sex. He’s been good about it but I feel like if we did all I’d be able to feel is how hollow I am inside. And I - I don’t want him touching my,” he trailed off, thick tentacles rising from the water to curl around his throat in panic. “He’s going to leave me, isn’t he? I’m not a good husband. I’m not a good father. Maybe they should leave,” he said, even though the thought of Sirius and Addie walking out of his life was like having his still beating heart ripped from his chest. Still, if it meant they’d be happy...

“Remus,” Lily said gently, as she turned around and made her way over to him. She sat in front of him and laid one hand on his leg. Her soft fingers touching all the barnacles and brine that were calling him to the ocean floor. “He isn’t going to leave you.”

But Remus couldn’t hear her. His mind was stuck on every part of him he wouldn’t let Sirius touch and the realization that he thought if Sirius did, he’d end up bleeding out all over again. And he realized for the first time in six months that he had died. He had been dead. “I think I’m going to be sick,” Remus said and got up and lurched in the direction of the toilet before emptying what little he had to eat that morning and then leaned against the wall next to it, shivering.

Lily got a cloth and cleaned his face up.

“I don’t want to die again,” Remus whispered.

Lily froze, the cloth stilling on Remus’s cheek for a moment.

“Do you think it would be bad for me to see Addie now?”

“Why would it be bad?” Lily asked.

“I read somewhere that even if a parent fakes being happy a baby can tell in the dilation of the parents eyes and that impacts their development. I don’t want to hurt her with this.”

“Oh Remus,” Lily said, giving him a kiss on the forehead. “You aren’t going to.”

“I’m sorry,” Remus mumbled as he tried to get his tears under control. “Don’t tell Sirius please."

She hesitated before nodding and then helped him brush his teeth and get some water before letting him know that Addie was down for her nap if he wanted to go and see her.

Remus went and kneeled in front of the crib. Vaguely aware of the way that he was mirroring what Sirius had done when she was sick. She looked so small and deep down Remus knew he was scared, but it had just been so hard to feel it lately. She was so tiny and yet she’d grown so much.

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been sitting there when Sirius came down and sat next to him. “Hi,” Sirius said, resting his head on his shoulder. “You could have come and seen her when we were having lunch.”

Remus kept his eyes forward. “It’s easier this way.”

“Because then you don’t have to worry about hurting her?”

Remus sighed. “Lily really sucks at keeping secrets.”

“Lots of people have postpartum depression and don’t fuck up their kids, Remus.”

“I know, but my dad had a hard time accepting me at the start. No one ever told me about it until he got sick. I was sitting at his bed one day and he just started crying and apologizing for all the time he wasted and the second he started talking about it aloud I could feel this weight inside of me, this grudge, I didn’t even know I had been holding. I never want Addie to feel that way about me.”

“So we’ll talk to her about it,” Sirius said, resting a hand on Remus’s knee. “We’ll tell her the truth about how she came into this world and how hard it was on your body and your mind and if there were things you didn't do with her it wasn’t because you didn’t want to, it was because you couldn’t.”

Remus nodded slowly, unsure of a way to craft that story to a child that wouldn’t leave them wracked with guilt.

“Do you regret having her?” Sirius asked, and his voice was quiet, much quieter than it needed to be to avoid waking Addie.

Remus looked at her little body, splayed out and bundled in her duckie onesie. Beans' leg clutched tightly in one hand. Her hands were always like that, clenched in fists as if she came out fighting. “I love her and I’m glad that she’s here, but I died having her and if I hadn’t had come back… I don’t know if trading one life for another is worth it.”

“I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come back to me. The whole time I was waiting to hear I just kept looking at her eyes and wondering if I’d ever get to see yours again.”

Remus rested his head on top of Sirius’s. “I don’t know how to both love her and hate the way she came into this world.”

Sirius just took his hand and sat with him silently for a moment.

“Did Lily tell you everything we talked about?”

“I think some things she just gave me the gist of. I get that she may not be able to keep a secret, but I think she can at least understand that there are some things I needed to hear from you.”

Remus sighed and closed his eyes. “I’m scared if we have sex that something bad is going to happen to me again.”

“We don’t have to,” Sirius said, as he switched to massaging Remus’s fingers and the palm of his hand. “Only when you’re ready and only whatever you are comfortable with.”

“And if I’m never ready?”

Remus felt Sirius shrug against him as if it was the easiest decision in the world. “Your mental and physical safety is worth more than that.”

“And my depression, what if that never gets better?”

Sirius paused for a moment, choosing his next words carefully. “I know it might feel that way right now but we haven’t started the medication yet and the doctor also recommended speaking to someone. I think we have to hope that the treatment plan could work. Even if it might not ‘cure’ you, it could hopefully make it more manageable. And if it doesn’t work at all, then we try something new. Then it is just something we learn to live with like your lycanthropy or my nightmares or the sudden presence of a child in our life.”

Remus could feel the barnacles cracking but he wasn't quite sure he was ready to come back to shore. “I’m scared Sirius. All the time.”

“Then maybe it’s time we accept that this isn’t something we’re going to magically be able to do on our own.”

Remus took Sirius’s hand from his and started to trace over the lines on his palm. “Would it be okay if I called my mom? Maybe she’d want to stay for a bit.”

Sirius smiled. “I think that would be wonderful and maybe the Potters can come for a longer visit too?”

“Maybe we can find somewhere we could all stay for a little while, just to get away from everything. James and Lily could come too if you wanted.”

“And Reg?”

“And Reg. It could be like a little family get away." Their island in the middle of the storm.

“Only if you promise to actually let them help and not feel like you have to act like some sort of gracious host the whole time.”

“I promise. That’s one trait I never want to pass onto our daughter," Remus said as he looked at the seaweed he'd spilled all over the floor. "I hope she becomes the best parts of us.”

“Of all of us,” Sirius said.

Remus managed a small smile, pushing out the saltwater for something sweeter. “But as soon as she’s old enough I’m gonna teach her how to keep a secret.”

“Remus, I thought we agreed we’d already have enough trouble raising the child of two Marauders without teaching her how to lie to us.”

“It’s not lying," Remus argued. "It’s just withholding information.” And even if Remus couldn’t see his face, he knew Sirius was rolling his eyes at him in mock exasperation. He wondered if Addie would learn that look from him.

The two of them watched as Addie stretched, smacking her lips lazily before wiggling her way back to sleep. A single drop of drool dripping down her chubby baby cheeks.

“I’m never going to leave you Remus.”

“Promise?”

Sirius’s head wiggled against his as he nodded.

“Can you say it?”

“I promise. You two are my family. I’m never leaving you. My home is always wherever you’ll be."

And while Remus might have not been fully afloat again, he felt a little less like he was going to drown.

#unexpected au #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar #wolfstar parents #wolfstar hurt/comfort

[full-moon-hate-account]

thank you endlessly for 800 followers, i appreciate you all and the love you give to my work so much <33333

to celebrate, i just posted my second oneshot!! inspired by some of my very favourite, insomnia-filled wolfstar headcanons. i really hope you enjoy.

#we got some references in there #let me list them #starting obvious: #the dream synopsis by the last shadow puppets #then #wake me by bleachers #and also #somehow... #the dream thieves. and ronan lynch #wolfstar #wolfstar oneshot #wolfstar fluff #wolfstar hurt/comfort

[jasmines-library]

hi love! idk if you are interested or not but i had an idea of reader being friends with lilly and severus but also with the marauders untill the oh so fateful day were sev ruined his friendship with lilly and reader. i love the idea of lilly ending up in james's arms and reader in sirius's (they are my boys sorry sev🤭)

thank you and again, only if you want! have a wonderful day lovely!

Only Human

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

Warnings: Slurs (mudblood), swearing bullying kinda, negativity but fluffy ending

Word Count: 1.7k

⛧ MARAUDERS MASTERLIST⛧

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

Severus Snape was resting against a tree when it happened. The castle sat opposite him, just a short way across the clear water. The small ripples created by the creatures in the lake and the summer breeze often distracted him from the book that he rested between his knees and his chest as he tucked them up closely. It was this exact reason that he hadn't noticed the band of robe-clad gryffindors trudging up the slope toward him. James Potter led the group, he wore his signature charismatic grin; a smirk that twinged the corner of his lip upwards and made his nose scrunch beneath his glasses, and he had his wand held loosely in his hand. He twisted the delicate tool between his fingers as you would a drumstick. Sauntering over to Severus, he chuckled at his friends, nudging them playfully with his shoulder. 

“Snape!” He jested, calling out to him. 

His head snapped up, but he kept his back planted firmly against the tree as the group of marauders ran up to him. He squeezed his eyes shut, just hoping that they would turn and leave. But they were bored and Severus, who had been particularly troublesome toward them, had caught their eyes. Severus inched himself up against the tree so that he rose to his feet and began to turn back in the direction of the castle. 

James frowned, a look of mock pity set on his face. “Leaving already, Snivellus?”

Snape reached for his wand, but kept his back to them.  “Fuck off, Potter. I don’t want trouble.”

“Don’t you know it’s rude to turn your back to someone when they’re talking to you, Snape.” Sirius asked him. 

Severus whipped around quickly, his wand poised to cast a spell at them but James beat him to it; with one flick of his hand Snape's wand went flying across the river bank. He paled, the four Marauders stepping closer to him. 

“Nice one, James.” Sirius cheered. 

The dark haired boy backed up slowly, setting his gaze. The four of them were edging closer, threatening him with their wands when you spotted them. You had just finished class and were heading over to the lake with Lily, arm in arm. The two of you were over there in seconds when you saw your friends threatening each other. Much to your boyfriend's dismay, you and Severus had been friends from the beginning of the first year. You met him on the train; a shy boy with long hair who didn’t quite seem certain of the world. Lily bonded with him quickly, and you followed soon after. It wasn’t long after that that you met Sirius Black. Charming, brave, daring; he was the complete opposite to Snape, but you supposed that was what drew you to him so much. It was their clash in personalities that made the two clash. It seemed as though they were always doing something to wind up the other.

This time it had gone too far. You were unsure of what Sev had done to wind up the Marauders so much, but you and Lily were skidding to a stop beside them in a heartbeat. 

James caught a glimpse of Lily’s fiery hair out of the corner of his eye. “Lilyflower-”

“Leave him alone, James.” It wasn’t quite a demand, Lily never had that sort of aggressiveness in her, but her voice was firm. She didn’t want her friend to get hurt. 

“Ah, Evans, Don’t make me hex you.” James sighed, a playful twinge on his tongue.

“I’m serious.” Lily repeated when James refused to lower his wand, letting it loll around between his fingers. 

“No,” Sirius smirked. “I am.”

You gave him a hard stare through narrow eyes, and his smirk dropped. “Siri. Please.”

The boy nodded, nudging his friend who promptly pocketed his wand. Severus seemed taken back, his steps faltering. He glanced gratefully in your direction, though his anger and embarrassment were unmistakable in his eyes. 

“You’re lucky that they were here to help you, Snape.”

“I don’t need help from filthy mudbloods.”

You had expected many things from Severus, but those words were not one of them. He spat them with venom; malice intending to bite deep. And bite deep it did. 

You froze, eyes glassing over with tears. Serverus Snape had made an incredibly low blow; as a muggleborn, it was safe to say that it took some time to come to terms with your letter to Hogwarts. You were excited, of course but your parents were far from keen. Lily experienced the same thing with her sister too. Things didn’t get much better when you arrived at Hogwarts either. Some saw you as ‘impure’. Unworthy. Sev knew this and he had chosen to use it against you. Perhaps it was in a moment of spite, perhaps he hadn’t meant to say it at all. But all that mattered in that moment was that Severus Snape was just like the rest of them.   

You could see Sirius glance your way out of the corner of your eye, but when he took a step toward you you backed away. 

“Fuck you, Snape.” You spat back at him, trying to hide the waver in your voice. 

“You should watch your mouth, Snivellus.” Lily glared at him before turning on her heel and making her way promptly back to the castle before anyone else could say a word. 

You were left standing between the two groups, both slightly shell shocked, in silence.

Sirius, now full of guilt, opened his mouth to talk, but you pursued Lily before he could even form the first syllable.

 The tears came flooding in quickly after that. 

~

Sirius hadn’t seen you for the rest of the day. and that was partly because you refused to come out of the girls bathroom. He had even tried to get Moaning Myrtle to coax you out to talk to him, but still you refused to show your face as you curled up on the bathroom tile. It made his stomach churn. 

His pit of guilt dug itself deeper as he sat in class. Sirius’ leg bounced restlessly during potions and there was just as much ink on the page at the start of the lesson as there was at the end. The detention he was also given didn’t help ease his thoughts. His mind wandered to the worse case scenarios. It was his fault for provoking Snape… What if you never wanted to talk to him again? He was up in an instant when the fateful day came to an end and he could return to the common room. He dragged his feet up to the portrait and muttered the words to open it. Every part of him itched to see your face mingling amongst the crowd. 

At first, he didn’t see you. But he managed to make out the crown of your head resting against an armchair tucked away in the corner by the fire. His face softened when he saw the tear tracks staining your face where you had failed to wipe them away properly.  

You had spent practically the last two hours crying. Everytime the flood stopped, it seemed to start up again. Severus was supposed to be your friend and he had discarded you just like that. The back of your eyes stung, glassy beads threatening to spill again. When you finally braved it enough to make it back to the common room, you couldn’t bear to go up to your room. You hardly spent any time there anyway because you spent much of it lounging around in Sirius’ bed with the other marauders…and you were angry and Sirius. 

No… perhaps angry was too strong a word. Hurt. Hurt by his actions and his and James’ thoughtlessness. Being up in your room would have just reminded you of that. So instead you settled down with a book by the fire trying to distract yourself and let the world move around you. 

It didn’t take Sirius very long to reach you. He crossed the common room in a few wide strides. 

“Love?” Siri asked hesitantly. 

You peeked up at him meekly. Your eyes were red raw and puffy, it made the boy frown. Sniffing, you wiped your eyes with the hem of your sleeve. “Oh.. hi Siri.” you mumbled, not quite meeting his eyes. 

“Oh Lovey. I’m so sorry.” He melted, sliding onto the arm of the chair beside you. 

“ ‘ts okay. It’s not your fault…”

Sirius scowled. You were far too kind for your own good. He knew exactly what you had been through and made him sick just thinking that you weren’t allowing anyone to take the blame for it. “But it is, Dove. I shouldn’t have provoked him. If I had stopped James and just kept my mouth shut then you wouldn’t have had to come over in the first place.”

A tear spilled from your eyes and all of a sudden you broke all over again. “He was supposed to be my friend, Pads.” You blubbered, voice wavering. “He’s just like the rest of them…”

Sirius took your hands in his, pressing a kiss to them. “You didn’t deserve any of this, my love. I am so, so sorry.”

“Maybe they’re right….” You trailed off. “Maybe I am worthless. If Sev thinks so too then-”

“Shh.” Sirius pressed another kiss to your temple as he scooped you up into his arms. Burying your face into his chest you continued to cry. He trailed his fingers over your back. “You’ve never been more wrong in your life, Lovey. You are worth so much more than that. You’re kind, brave and not to mention the most beautiful girl in the world. You’re worth everything to me. Who gives a crap what they think?”

You sniffled, unsure. 

“I mean it.”

You looked up at him, wiping away your tears; a ghost of a smile on your lips. 

“I love you.” Siri whispered, kissing you softly.

“I love you too.” You settled your head against his chest, shifting to curl against him. 

It was there that James and Lily found you later, entwined with each other and sleeping peacefully. Safe within each other's arms.

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

MARAUDERS TAGS:

@hearts4robs @xxrougefangxx

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

#marauders x reader #marauders #sirius black #sirius black x reader #wolfstar #wolfstar x reader #fluff #fluffy #fanfiction #moony #padfoot #moony wormtail padfoot and prongs #james potter #james potter x reader #remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #jily #severus snape #lily evans #lily evans x reader #hurt/comfort #angst #marauders fanfiction

[leahsdoodles]

A late morning lie in the summer after 7th year because they deserve some rest :)

#the tenderest of moments #if anyone knows any fics that evoke this warm and fuzzy feeling I will gladly read them #please give me recs #I’ve read too much hurt I need comfort #art #my art #fanart #my artwork #digital art #wolfstar fanart #wolfstar #remus lupin fanart #remus x sirius #remus lupin #sirius black #sirius black fanart #marauders #marauders era #marauders fanart #harry potter #I feel like every piece of art I post on here is in a different style #I just wanted them to be soft :(

[sitorarts]

„you'll get better soon

'Cause you have to“

some classic wolfstar hurt/comfort aka the aftermath of a rough full moon

#wolfstar #fanart #marauders #harry potter #fanfic #black family #remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar art #marauders angst #hurt/comfort #AU #shrieking shack #full moon #werwolves #animagus

[annabelinlove]

No Games (pt.2)

Pairing: Wolfstar x reader (Sirius Black x Remus Lupin x Reader)

Summary: The aftermath of the attack

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: angst, past description on violence, non sexual nudity, language, English isn’t my first language, no use of Y/n, Peter doesn’t exist

Readers note: You wanted part 2, so here it is! I’m sorry for the rushed ending but i have another thing planned and i really wanted to post this on. Lmk if you like it. Read part 1, if you haven’t already and checkout my masterlist. Every kind word is appreciated. Enjoy!

Pt. 1

Masterlist

You’ve spent the whole week at the infirmary and not even for a second were you alone. You had no idea how they did it, but your friends and boyfriends kept your company even thought you were sure they had classes they ought to attend. Whenever you tried to bring it up, they just shushed you and told you it was dealt with. You didn’t know what that was supposed to mean and weren’t even sure if it really was dealt with, but you were glad for the company so you decided to let it go. Regulus himself sent you a card telling you he hoped you’ll recover soon but you were yet to talk to him. You brought it up carefully when you were alone with Sirius, you knew his family was a sensitive topic for him.

“Have you talked to Regulus?” You asked, looking at your beautiful boyfriend who was working on his Herbology essay, his legs on your bed. He looked up from his work and smiled gently.

“Yeah, we met yesterday at the Tower, talked the whole night. That reminds me, he wishes you the best but said he’ll talk to you when you’re out of here, if you’re still up for it.”

He didn’t tell you the details of their conversation, but the small smile present on fis handsome face told you everything you needed to know, so you didn’t bring it up again. You’ve received many get well soon cards, some of them from students you didn’t even know at it warmed your heart. Even Marlene and Mary came to visit you. The whole day you spent with your friends and Madam Pomfrey and at the night, you always shared the bed with your boyfriends, who left in the morning to go to classes but still came back after few hours and this cycle repeated itself for the whole time you were in the hospital wing. It made you forget about the main reason you were even here and considering all odds, you were quite happy in your bubble. When Sunday came, Poppy told you that you were free to go but take it easy, which meant no quidditch and pranks, and to come back Monday evening for her to check you up again. Most of your wounds were healed and the bruises were barely visible, but still, some of them took longer to heal. One wound in particular, the one on your side, was pretty nasty and sometimes still bled a bit. It was sure to say you were glad to finally leave the infirmary.

“You’re ready, pet?” Asked Sirius as he took your bad, with all the cards and sweets that people sent you in his hands, and watched Remus, who was tying up your shoes. You told him you were perfectly fine to do it yourself, but he just waved his hand and kneeled in front of you. Why would you when I can? was his only response.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” You smiled at him and hopped off the bed, taking Remus’s hand as all three of you left the hospital wing. But as soon as you walked down the corridor to your common room, the reality hit you and you stopped to take a deep breath. What if it happens again? What if they pick on someone else? What would happen if Regulus hadn’t come? I’d probably die. The boys must have noticed your sudden panic and stopped as well. Siris stood in front of you and put his hands on your cheeks to make you look up at him. His gaze was soft and full of love.

“I know it’s scary right now, but nothing like that is ever gonna happen again, do you trust me? Do you trust us to protect you?” He asked softly, not breaking eye contact so you knew he was serious. Remus squeezed your hand, to reassure you in your own way. Your timid nod didn’t seem to please them.

“Words, angel. Do you trust us to protect you?” Remus prodded and your eyes shifted to his honey ones.

“I do, with my life.” You responded verbally now, which seemed to please them, as you all continued walking to the portrait, one boy at either of your side. Once in the common room, all of your friends were already there a big barel welcome back hung from the chandelier and you genuinely smiled as they all gave you a big and long hug.

“Now, now, don’t smother our girl.” Remus protectively pulled you to sit on his lap as he sat on the couch and buried his face into your neck, inhaling your scent. “She must be used to it, dating the two of you.” James stuck his tongue out at him playfully and they started to bicker. You felt like you were finally home. With your friends all around you, in the middle of the loves of your life, both of them touching you at all times, you were happy. This is where I belong, you thought. The rest of the day was spent talking, laughing and playing wizarding chess or exploding snap.

“Alright, its time for dinner kids, lets go.” Lily decided, standing up and ordering everybody around like the mum of the group. Your whole body seemed to freeze at that. The thought of leaving you little bubble of happiness to go to the Great Hall was more then unsettling for you.

“Go without us, we’ll just hang in here. Would you mind bringing us something?” Remus spoke up, obviously noticing your sudden anxious state. You both loved and hated how they could read you and knew you like the back of their hands. Nothing would get past them. James nodded before running after Marlene, probably to discuss the upcoming quidditch match. Lily sent you an understanding smile before waving at you and leaving the common room.

“Thanks, I’m just not ready to face them, yet.” You uttered, feeling embarrassed.

“Hey, you don’t have to explain yourself to us. Anything to make you feel the most comfortable, always.” Sirius was quick to argue and attacked your face with small, wet kisses. You laughed as you tried to get away from him. However, during your wiggling around, you accidentally pushed on your sore side and a sharp pain ran through your body. You let out a groan and the boy stopped quickly and distanced himself from you.

“Hey, are you okay? I’m so sorry if I hurt you, darling.” He was quick to speak, looking you up and down to spot any wound reopening and bleeding. You placed your hand on his cheek and smiled.

“It’s okay, just my stupid side. You didn’t do anything, I must have moved wrong or something. It’s fine.” You tried to assure him, but he still looked worried. Remus decided to step in and stood up, holding his hand out for you to take.

“Why don’t we go back to our dorm, hm? You could take a warm bath and relax as we wait for James to bring us something to eat. Then we can cuddle, how does that sound, my loves?” The idea of hot bath has already calmed you and you were quick to take his hand and get up. “Sounds like heaven.” You gave him a kiss and you all went to your dorm.

Well, it was their dorm, but you spent all of your time there anyway. You had your things there and to be honest, you couldn’t remember the last time you slept with the girls in your own dorm. James didn’t mind and claimed he was happy to have someone who’d help him deal with the two idiots. Once inside, Remus drew you a warm bath and even added some bubbles for you. It was nothing like the prefect bathroom, where you sometimes sneaked in with you boyfriends, but at that moment, it was perfect. You slowly undressed, with Sirius helping you, and softly kissing every new scar and unhealed bruise. You daren’t look into the mirror, terrified what you’d see, but right then and there, you felt loved, bare in front of your boys who stared at you with nothing but love in their eyes. Sirius helped you into the bathtub and you let out a content sigh when you sank into the hot water. Remus kissed your forehead and took Sirius’s hand, as they went to leave you alone.

“Stay.” You whispered, giving them your best puppy eyes, that Sirius taught you. Without another word, they both sat next to your bathtub, and you were finally able to relax, feeling every single muscle loosening after what felt like ages. You were all silent as Remus laid his hands on the edge of the tub and rested his hands on top of them, Sirius resting his head on his shoulder. You had no idea how much time has passed, all of you just enjoying the quiet time together, but it was interrupted by James, who poked his head inside the bathroom.

“Y’all good?” At the disturbance, Sirius quickly threw a bottle of shampoo on his head.

“Oi! Get out and stop ogling my naked girlfriend!” He shouted at his friend who put up his hands in surrender. James couldn’t have seen anything, as you were covered in bubbles but your boyfriend’s protectiveness mage you laugh a little.

“It ain’t nothing I haven’t seen before.” He joked before quickly shutting the door as Sirius got up with the intention to punch him. You laughed at that, remembering the few times when you walked out of the bathroom naked, thinking you were alone in the dorm, with James sitting on his bed or him walking into the bathroom when you were showering. Not to mention that all of your friends went skinny dipping into the Black Lake.

“I’m kidding, sorry! Just wanted to know if you’re okay since you’ve been silent for the whole 20 minutes I’ve been here.” He said behind the closed door. At that, Remus put his hand into the bath which has gotten cold already. “Alright, let’s get you out, the water is freezing and you need to eat something.”

Sirius washed your hair as Remus went to get some clothes for you as well as a new bandage and some ointment. After drying you up, he carefully rubbed in on the wounds and bruises as well as some pink scars. You mustered up the courage to look at yourself in the mirror and sucked in a breath. You looked much worse than you thought. Even after almost a full week of being at the infirmary, unhealed scratches could be seen all over your body, numerous of bruises and scars, some bigger then other, keeping them company. Your cheeks were hollowed, and you had dark circles under your eyes. You also looked thinner. Sirius quickly stepped in front of you when he saw the disgusted look you gave yourself in the mirror.

“Hey,” he said as he put some hair behind your ear, “you’re beautiful.”

The smile you gave him was genuine and you stopped thinking about it as he kissed you passionately. They dressed you in some sweatpants and shirt, none of which were yours. When you emerged from the bathroom, you realized that James has already prepared the food on Sirius’s bed, which was the biggest of them all, thanks to a single spell, since the three of you slept on it every single night. You settled comfortably on the bed, under the covers with the boys around you and contently started eating.

“Thank you, Jamie.” You thanked him with a mouth full of mashed potatoes. You didn’t even realize how hungry you were, but it was really no surprise since Poppy fed you mostly soups from various of herbs to help you heal.

“Anytime, sunshine.” He winked at you and started a calm conversation. Mostly between the boys, since you were too busy eating. After dinner, Sirius sat behind you and without a word started to braid your still wet hair. It was your routine, doing each others hair, sometimes Remus’ as well, if he had them long enough. When he was done, you all bid good night to James and laid on the bed.

“Would you read to us Moony?” Sirius asked sweetly, pulling you closer, careful not to hurt you in any way. Remus pulled out his book, The Lord of the Rings, and his calm voice filled the silence. You nuzzled yourself closer to him and quickly fell asleep, his voice fading away in the background.

You were running away from someone, you didn’t know who, but knew they were dangerous. You were in some dark place, when someone pushed you to the ground.

“This is what you fucking deserve, filthy bitch!” The unknown person spat at you as he hit you, pain erupting immediately all over your face. You were suddenly on the floor and someone was kicking you over and over again. Your hands tied so you wouldn’t be able to protect yourself. You screamed for help but an evil laugh was the only thing heard. “Shh, we’re just playing.” And another blow, now into your head. You felt like you were under water and running out of air, not being able to breathe.

“Hey, hey, wake up. It’s okay.”

Unknown hands shook you, but you saw only silhouettes, and green flashes of lights. Suddenly, you had a wand at your neck. You tried to pull away, but couldn’t. The wand suddenly slashed your throat.

“C’mon, wake up darling.”

You sat up quickly in your bed, gasping for breath as your hands flew to your throat. You’re safe, your in your dorm with your boys. It was only a dream. You were shaking like a leaf, only now just realizing that someone was talking to you.

“Breath for me, angel. It’s okay, we’re here. You’re here, you’re in our dorm, with me and Moony, you’re safe. Just keep on breathing for me, please.” You concentrated on Sirius’ words, slowly calming your breath.

“I’m gonna touch you, is that okay, my darling?” Remus said in his soft tone, you weren’t able to speak so you tried to nod, but it wasn’t enough for the boys.

“Please, use your words. I know it’s hard, but try, pet.” You croaked a yes, which seemed to satisfy him and he gently wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a gentle, yet firm embrace. Sirius handed you a glass of water you didn’t even see him get it. You gulped the water like your life depended on it.

“It was just a bad dream, my love. You’re okay.” You were able to calm down, but was still shaking lightly in Remus’ arms.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” He whispered as he kept on rubbing small circles on your back. You took a deep breath, trying to remember the dream but it was all hazy.

“I-I was in some dark room or something and someone kept on hurting me. And then-then..” you were interrupted by your own sobs but tried to pull it together to finish “then a wand slashed my throat and I couldn’t breathe.” You cried into his shoulder. Sirius took your hand in is and placed it where your heart is.

“Do you feel that?” He patiently waited for you to nod before continuing, “that’s your heart and it’s beating. It means you’re alive and breathing, my love. It was just a nightmare. Take a deep breath, because you can, baby. It’s okay.”

You felt your heartbeat and started to slow down your breathing, the shaking stopped as did the tears. You pulled out of Remus’ hug and looked at them sheepishly.

“I’m sorry for waking you up.” You just now noticed the darkness of the room and heard James’ loud snores. You swore he would sleep through an earthquake.

“You have nothing to apologize for, angel. We knew the nightmares would come sooner or later.” Remus soothed your worry but his words confused you and you looked at him with furrowed brows.

“Well, at the infirmary, Poppy gave you a sleeping draught every night so you could sleep peacefully, but you didn’t take any tonight. I was just kinda counting on it. It makes sense after what happened.” You froze at his words, you didn’t even think about that.

“Oh, I’ll go and get it tomorrow then.” You sighed, fatigued overtaking of your body.

“No, pet. I know its hard and the nightmares are terrible. Trust me, I know, but you can’t take it for such a long time, it could really mess you up.” Sirius looked at you apologetic, feeling bad for crushing your vision for peaceful sleep.

Your whole face fell down and you looked close to tears again. “But I don’t wanna have a nightmare every night.” You uttered, looking at your hands, picking at your nails.

“And you won’t! Me and Pads will do everything in our power to help you with them, just not through medications, okay?” Remus was quick to reassure you, taking your hand in his so you would stop picking at your nails before they started to bleed. You were too tired to fight with them, so you sighed a small yes and let them lay you on the bed again, squeezed in between them.

“Moony’s gonna read to us again, until you fall asleep, okay?” Sirius said and kissed your nose, but you were quick to protest. “No, I don’t want to keep you up for no reason, you shouldn’t stay away just because I can’t sleep.”

Remus gave you almost a bored look but still looked at you lovingly. “Hey, none of that, darling. Anything to help you. Plus, I ended at quite an interesting chapter, so I’m curious what’s gonna happen next.” And with that, he picked up the book and started to read, just like few hours ago. And just like few hours ago, you feel asleep.

The next time you woke up, it was by Sirius who was leaving wet kisses all over your face. “Wakey, wakey. We need to get ready for classes.” He whispered but still continued to kiss your face. It was Remus, who ushered both of you to the bathroom to clean up (and redress your wounds, of course) and soon enough, you were on your way to the Great Hall for breakfast with your friends.

Everybody was chatting with you the whole time, to help you ease your nervousness, and you were immensely grateful for them all. You stopped in front of the huge door to the Hall, but before you could start to think too much about things, Remus took your hand and Sirius screamed your name to gain your attention.

“Look, look! This is how to make someone your peasant.” And before you, or anyone really, processed his words, he jumped on James’ back, held tight with one hand, the other high in the air as he started screaming loudly. “Go, my slave. Take me to my fine breakfast and DO NOT DROP ME!”

James wasn’t even complaining, pretty used to his theatrics and he ran straight to their places, making a huge scene with Sirius. All of them laughed at their silliness and before you knew it, you were sat at the table, with your back to the Slytherins, and started to eat. All of your friends were distracting you with jokes and you were smiling the whole time. Sirius was still ordering James around and he did everything the long haired boy asked.

“Pass me the juice.”

“Of course, my lord. Is there anything else I could aide you with? Your wish is my command.”

After breakfast, Remus took your backpack and you walked hand in hand to your class. Sirius was, of course, riding on James’ back to the class.You were thankful that you shared Charms, your first class, with your boyfriends, as well as Lily. The worst part was, that the Slytherins were taking Charms as well. Sirius got off James’ back before the classroom and looked you deep in the eyes.

“Listen, and listen to me closely, pet. Me and Remmy are gonna be with you the whole time. There’s not gonna be a second when one of us isn’t close to you, okay? It’s gonna be okay, you’ll be fine and we’ll be always by your side.” He reassured you and you smiled at his thoughtfulness to calm you down. You took a deep breath and Remus squeezed your hand in support. You nodded that you were ready and you entered the classroom. You didn’t look around, your gaze set on your desk. Sirius and Remus were on both your sides, squashing you in between them.

Remus still hasn’t let go of your hand as you squeezed it tightly when you felt the hairs on your neck rising. Snape and Mulicber were here. You didn’t dare to move a muscle, your body in a trance, too scared to even breathe. Both of your boys noticed and they tried to talk to you and joked around to make you smile, but you weren’t able to concentrate on them. You didn’t even notice when the class started, nor did you registered that it has finished. You could feel their eyes on you, the whole time. You knew that Snape was staring at the back of your head, his eyes sending daggers your way, but you were too afraid to look back. To look at him, them.

Sirius had to nudge you that the class was over and you had to go to the other one. You felt like you were sleepwalking as they took your things and led you out of the classroom. But you froze in your tracks as you heard the cold laugh behind you. You knew it was Mulciber.

“Well, well, well. Surprised to see you at school and not the graveyard.” He snickered but before you could do as much as blink, you heard a loud bang from behind you. You turned ground quickly, waiting for some king of danger coming your way, but were met with Sirius pinning him to the wall, his wand at his neck and hand holding his chest so he couldn’t move.

You saw as Snape took out his wand, but Remus casted a quick Expelliarmus and his wand flew out of his hand and his reach. He was stood protectively in front of you, his wand aimed at Snape as Sirius hold Mulciber. You didn’t even know how any of that happened, if was all too quick.

“Say another word to her, I dare you. Let’s see who will be buried six feet under.” Sirius seethed, his voice low and dangerous. You’ve never heard him use this tone.

“You’ve got bodyguards now, heh?” Snivellus snickered at you but not moving an inch. Before any of you could say or do anything, Lily appeared out of thin air and hit him square in the face. Snape fell to the ground, holding his bleeding nose and looking up at her in surprise.

“If you ever come close to her, I will hurt you. And I fucking mean it, Severus. I don’t know what happened to you but it gives you no right to act like an asshole. You are nothing but a fucking scam and dirt. Don’t come close to her or any of us, never again.” She told him, her voice cold and face blank of any emotions. You have never heard Lily use so many swear words in your life, let alone in one sentence.

From the corner of your eye, you saw Mulciber trying to get out of Sirius’ gasp and Remus was ready to send some hex his way, but you stopped him as you laid your slightly shaking hand on his shoulder.

“Wait.” You said quietly but strongly. He stopped and looked at you, his wand still aiming at his enemy.

“Don’t be like them. Let them go, karma will get them soon and better then us.” I said loudly, for all of them to hear me. Remus’ gaze softened but his wand still raised high.

You could hear Sirius growl, not moving an inch, so you walked up to him and took his hand with his wand an out it down. He looked unsure, but wasn’t fighting your touch. You looked deep inside Mulciber’s eyes and when he open his mouth to say something, you spat at him. You could hear Lily gasp, but you didn’t care as you turned around and walked away with your head held high.Remus, Lily and Sirius quickly caught up with you, your raven boyfriends taking your waist and spinning you in the air.

“That’s my fucking girl! You shoved them who has the power!” He hollered, and you laughed. When he set you down, both he and Remus hugged you tightly and you felt the weight lifting off your shoulders.

“That was brilliant, my sweet girl. I’m so so proud of you.” Remus beamed with pride, kissing the top of your head. “I could never do it without you. Thank you, for everything.” You squeezed their arms and quickly went to hug Lily as well.

“That must have been hard for you, I know you two used to be close.” You whispered into her ears. She sighed and let you go, looking into your eyes.

“Yeah, used to. Before he turned out to be such a prick. But I won’t hesitate to protect you from him, or anyone else, no matter what.” She gave you a kind and sincere smile and you knew she meant it.

As you walked down the corridor, with Sirius and Remus nonstop praising you, you felt lighter. You knew it wasn’t the end. The wounds were yet to be healed, the physical ones as well as emotional ones, and the war was far from the end, but you knew you could do it.

With your boyfriends and friends by your side, you were unstoppable.

——————-

Tag list: @quackitysdrugdealer @ill-be-okay-soon-enough @oweninadaydream @noodlesareokah @wings-of-tranquility @oweninadaydream @leafpagesingfan

#marauders era #harry potter #marauders fluff #marauders x y/n #poly!marauders x reader #sirius black x you #the marauders #fluff #marauders x reader #Wolfstar x reader #wolfstar x you #angst #remus lupin x you #remus lupin x reader #sirius black x reader #remus x sirius x reader #angst to fluff #wolfstar angst #hurt to comfort #poly!marauders #poly!marauders fluff

[ellecdc]

PART 2 PLSSSSSSSSSSS

I need the comfort

ok ok ok ok ok mother's here - I've fixed it for you. Don't say I never did anything for ya 😉

part two of Mistake: poly!wolfstar x fem!reader

CW: angst, hurt and COMFORT read part one here

Remus felt like he’d just been slapped. In fact, he was sure that if he looked in a mirror, he would see a red welt in the shape of your hand across his cheek. 

Lupin?

You haven’t called him that since...well since you started dating. As a matter of fact, he can’t remember the last time you referred to him in any way other than some sickly-sweet pet name that he pretended embarrassed him, but he secretly preened at. 

I’ll see you around.

What the hell did that mean? What just happened?

He felt stuck...perhaps he should go after you? But you told him to go check on Sirius: make sure he’s okay for me, yeah? And he meant what he had said – the three of you would be back to normal in no time. They’d catch up with you tomorrow.

Remus tried to replay every interaction you had tonight. You had asked how their days were...he replied and asked how yours was. Should he have asked you first?

He should have asked you first.

You tried making conversation, but Remus was so hyper focused on Sirius’ mood – afraid that he’d do or say something out of pocket that would hurt your feelings – that each attempt sort of fell flat. Remus had been there before – he’s witnessed Sirius’ tendency to self-sabotage and ruin a good thing once he finally has it, and he didn’t want that to happen again. Not with you.

He knew what Sirius really needed was some quiet; a chance to ponder and lament angrily inside his own head without outside influence.

Maybe they should have cancelled – rescheduled your study date for another time. Clearly his effort to protect you from any negativity was in vain.  

But it was just a bad day, a blip, a one-off. You would all get some good sleep tonight and reconvene tomorrow.

Right?

Maybe he should have followed you.

But by the time he could manage to pry his feet from the floor of the library that he felt cemented to, you were gone. 

He would just have to talk it out with you tomorrow.

Remus entered his dorm to find Peter already asleep on his bed, James finishing the Transfiguration essay that was due tomorrow morning on his own bed, and both Remus and Sirius’ beds empty. 

“Pads around?” Remus asked James quietly as he began to shuck off his uniform. The quiet tone was mostly for courtesy’s sake knowing Peter could sleep through a stampede of hippogriffs.

James peered at Remus from above his glasses before nodding his head towards the bathroom door.

Sure enough, Remus found Sirius leaning against the shower stall with his eyes closed as the water cascaded around his form. 

“You almost done, love?” Remus asked gently. Sirius spooked slightly as he turned to look at Remus; his eyes were red and glossy...he had been crying.

“You didn’t stay with her?”

Remus fought the urge to grimace, to heave, to turn around and run. He opted to gently shake his head. “No, she... said she got most of what she needed to do done.”

Sirius seemed to consider that as he sighed. “Was she terribly upset? I didn’t...I didn’t mean to be an ass. I know James always says I’m quick to take it out on others – I tried really hard not to, honest. I swear it, Rem I-”

Remus began shaking his head as he moved towards Sirius. He could tell by the smell in the bathroom that Sirius had already washed his hair and there were no more suds on his body, so he turned the water off and handed Sirius a towel. 

“You were fine, Sirius. She’s – she’s fine.” He lied.

He lied. He lied to Sirius. About you.

But how could he look Sirius in the eye right now – Sirius who was currently standing naked, soaking wet, nearly hyperventilating, not over his disgusting parents but because he was afraid that he may have upset you – and tell him that between the maybe seven minutes since Sirius had left the library and now, Remus had completely mucked it all up?

The answer was: he couldn’t. He couldn’t look Sirius in the eye and admit that he may have just sabotaged your relationship.

It’s going to be fine. He tried to tell himself. We’ll fix this all tomorrow.

You felt beyond childish, hiding in your dorm room like some toddler throwing a temper tantrum. But you had decided last night that what you really needed was space. Some breathing room. A chance to see this from a different lens. A different perspective.

And you couldn’t do that when your heart was breaking. And being around Remus and Sirius felt like that right now.

It felt heart breaking. 

And perhaps that was your answer right there. If this was causing you heart ache, why were you doing it to yourself? To them? You didn’t deserve that, and neither did they.

But it wasn’t just this you were worried about. It was more than just this relationship – it was the friendship that preceded it. It was the meshing of you into their circle of friends. You were their friend long before you were ever their girlfriend. You wouldn’t just be losing Remus and Sirius: your boyfriend’s; you’d also be losing Remus and Sirius: your friend’s.

Maybe you should have thought about that before you said yes.

Suddenly, you were a little angry: they had asked you to be their girlfriend – not the other way around! Why would they put you through all of this for, what? For...

Was it really for nothing?

“Are you coming to breakfast?” Shelby asked you quietly from the door. You shifted your head on the pillow to make eye contact with her. “No, I’ve got some things to work on. I think I’ll hang out up here today.”

She seemed to consider you, eyes squinting and mouth pursing before she offered a curt nod. “I’ll bring something back for you then.”

You smiled gratefully at her. At least you knew if you did lose Remus and Sirius, you would still have friends who cared about you. 

Sirius spent most of his life believing he’d never be worthy of nice things. He was raised by monsters which meant he was a product of monsters; he was basically a monster.

He knew that the Black Darkness was always simmering just below the surface. It was archetypal of Black’s to explode; to lace their words with venom and strike at their victim, always aiming for the jugular. It had been Sirius’ own M.O. for his whole life. He had nearly lost everyone who ever meant anything to him on account of it. He had almost lost Moony.

Which is why it was so important to him that you never end up the latest victim of his Black Darkness. He was so afraid of disappointing you, letting you down, making you feel unloved. He didn’t think he’d ever be able to live with himself if he slipped – if he said something or did something to make you hate him. 

And it wasn’t just you he was worried about hurting; he knew if he hurt you, Remus would likely never forgive him.

Remus may have forgiven Sirius for his Darkness once; he didn’t want to risk trying for a second time. Sirius felt he’d hit his threshold for forgiveness – one more sin and he’d be on his own, surely.

So, he walked away. He tried to do it nicely – to excuse himself politely, assure you he’d be back in no time. 

But he still left.

It was cowardly. 

He needed to talk to you.

Which is why Sirius could be found that morning sitting at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, knee bouncing frantically under the table and his body turned towards the entrance – waiting for you to make an appearance.

Except, you never came.

“Wait, Shelby just walked in without her. Where is she?” He asked despondently, turning towards Remus. 

Remus watched as Shelby and a few of your other friends sat at their usual places without you. “Come on.” He said quickly as the two of them stood and made their way over.

“Hey Shelby. Do you know where Y/N is?” Remus asked quietly, hoping his guilt didn’t permeate his tone. Unfortunately, under Shelby’s scrutinizing glance, he was sure he had been found out. 

“She’s in the dorm.” She said flatly, looking between the two boys. 

Sirius exchanged a glance with Remus before continuing. “Erm, do you...do you know why?” 

Shelby furrowed her brows “all she said was she had ‘some things to work on’ and that she’d be in the room today.”

Remus hissed under his breath and pulled Sirius aside.

“Pads, I’m sorry, but I think-”

“What is going on?” Sirius interrupted.

“Last night, I... I think Y/N was upset?”

“Upset? With me?” Sirius asked, shame worming its way through every cell in his body. 

“I don’t know. I... I don’t think so. But she...she said she’d ‘see me around’ and then called me Lupin.” 

All blood drained from Sirius’ face as he considered Remus’ words.

See him around...see him around!? What the hell did that mean? Did you not plan on seeing them again? Oh gods...you never planned on seeing them again.

“Rem...” Sirius breathed out, leaning against a pillar for support.

“I know, I don’t-”

“Good grief, what’s gotten into you two?” James commented as he walked into the Great Hall with Lily, who opted to carry on in her search for Regulus as James took in the state of his two friends.

“Well? What’s got you in such a twist?” He pressed when neither boy offered an explanation.

“It’s Y/N.” Remus admitted.

“She’s leaving us.” Sirius blurted.

“Okay, we don’t know that.” Remus conceded.

Sirius scoffed. “Well, she basically told you to go fuck yourself last night and now she’s avoiding us; what do you call that?”

“She didn’t tell me to go fuck myself!”

James groaned and rolled his eyes before grabbing Remus and Sirius’ shirts and dragging them over to the Slytherin table.

“That’s it. You guys need to talk to Regulus.” James muttered.

“Regulus?!” Sirius sputtered, looking at James incredulously. “I’m not asking my baby brother for relationship advice.”

“You’re not asking for relationship advice. You’re asking for his perspective on his own relationship.”

“Ew! That’s worse! I don’t want to hear about my baby brother’s relationship with my adoptive brother.” 

“Oh for- you are going to listen to Regulus’ perspective on what it’s like being added to a polyamorous relationship last.” James pressed, tone implying no nonsense. 

Sirius (unwillingly) and Remus (placidly) were dragged to the dark side (read: the Slytherin table) to be read their Miranda Rights have their asses handed to them by one Regulus Arcturus Black. 

“Reg, dear. I’m begging, pleading, on my hands and knees: put the poor sods out of their misery.” James said as he bodily sat Remus and Sirius on the bench across from Regulus.

Lily snickered and poked her nose into Regulus’ cheek, causing the youngest Black to blush, though the rest of his face remained stoic as he sized Sirius and Remus up.

“What have the two of you done now?” He drawled. “I can’t help but notice one third – arguably the better third - of your little trio is missing.”

Sirius scoffed, though he didn’t argue – Regulus wasn’t wrong per se; he loved Moony, but you were indeed the best of the bunch.

James cleared his throat pointedly as he shot Remus and Sirius a look.

“Right, er” Remus started awkwardly. “We seem to have, uhm. I mean to say that-”

“Why does Y/N hate us?” Sirius spat, slapping a hand over his mouth immediately afterwards as if those words had fallen from his mouth without his consent.

“Y/N? As in your girlfriend, Y/N?” Regulus asked, moving his eyes between his brother and his brother’s boyfriend.

“Yes, as in our girlfriend.” Remus muttered.

“What did you say to offend her?” James asked unhelpfully.

“Do you think if we knew that, we’d be here right now?” Sirius spat back. 

“No, I don’t think that.” Regulus answered for him. “What I think has probably happened is she’s feeling terribly insecure in your relationship and neither of you have done anything to help her.”

Well that shut Sirius up... Sirius noticed that Remus was pretty quiet too.

“Were...” Sirius asked, grimacing when he looked over at Lily and James knowing this was teetering slightly into the realm of things-he-doesn’t-really-want-to-know-about-his-brother’s-relationship-with-his-best-friend territory. But damnit, Sirius was as desperate man. And desperate times called for desperate measures. “Were you terribly insecure when you started dating...these two?” Sirius sneered the end of his sentence earning him a ‘hey!’ from Lily and a solid whack up the back of the head from James.

“Yes.” Regulus answered simply.

“Why?” Remus asked, looking desperately close to pulling out his notebook to take notes. Scratch that, Sirius watched as James swallowed a teasing remark when Remus actually pulled out a notebook to take notes. 

“It’s hard coming after. There’s a part of your brain that convinces you that you are second best; that you’ve somehow come in second place. If that’s not bad enough, then you begin spending time with two people who already have history, already have a connection, and already have a rhythm that doesn’t leave much room to pull you into the mix. And if it does pull you into the mix, you end up feeling terribly guilty for disrupting that rhythm. It’s all quite difficult.”

Sirius’ mouth hung open at Regulus’ demure tone on what sounded like a really heartbreaking situation. 

“Let me ask you this,” Regulus continued, unawares of Sirius’ inner dialogue (which consisted mostly of panicked ‘oh my gods oh my gods oh my gods oh my gods). “How has your relationship – between the two of you – changed since you added a third?”

Remus and Sirius exchanged a glance before looking back at Regulus. “Uhm...not, really?”

“Not much at all.” Remus admitted more clearly.

“I see...” Regulus said, narrowing his gaze. “And how much time have each of you spent with her individually without the other present?”

Regulus got his answer in the form of awkward silence. 

“How did either of you expect your relationship to work if neither of you were willing to change the nature of yours in order to help it grow?” Regulus spat. 

“Well...” Remus started, but his sentence died when he realized there was nothing to say. 

“But...you stayed? Why?” Sirius asked his brother.

At this, Regulus’s face fell as he gave Sirius a sad smile. “Because of how we were raised, Sirius. I was so excited to be wanted, even for a moment, that I was willing to beg for scraps of whatever I could sink my claws into. She doesn’t strike me as that kind of girl.”

James and Lily looked forlorn as the latter placed her hand on Regulus’ shoulder consolingly. 

“It didn’t hurt to have the walking definition of unconditional love and the smartest, most intuitive witch I know to notice any discontent on my part.” He admitted shyly, earning him a smack of a kiss on the cheek from James.

“Gross. You guys are sickening.” Sirius muttered petulantly.

“So?” Lily interrupted what was close to becoming a squabble between the two Black brothers. “What are you guys going to do?”

Remus sported a determined expression as he looked to Sirius. “We’re going to make it right.”

Shelby stood by her word and brought your breakfast. She also brought you lunch, and then dinner. But by the following morning, she was tired of playing the role of house elf.

“Alright, are you going to tell me why you’re avoiding Lupin and Black?” She asked plainly, plopping herself down uninvited onto your bed.

“Wha-? I’m ... I’m not avoiding them.” You lied poorly.

“Please; don’t spit on my muffin and call it frosting, Y/N. You’re obviously avoiding them.”

“I...ew?”

She groaned and fell onto her back in defeat. “Please, for all that is holy, tell me why they’ve been following me around like kicked puppies hoping I’ll take them to their master?”

You rolled your eyes and turned back to your book that you held open but had never been reading. “Yeah, I’m sure they’re real upset.” You muttered.

“That’s it.” She spat and plucked your book out of your hands, throwing it over her shoulder unceremoniously. You cringed to think about how Remus would feel seeing a book treated in such a way.

“I was reading that!”

“Don’t lie to me again.” She said, levelling you with a ‘no nonsense’ look. “Spill.”

You sighed deeply, looking toward the window to try and find the words you’d spent the last 24 hours trying to formulate. She never rushed you for your answer, giving you all the time you needed. 

“I feel insignificant.” You admitted finally.

“And?”

You turned to face her, bemusement painting your features. “What do you mean, and?”

“And... have you spoken to them about it?”

You felt a little embarrassed to admit that no, you hadn’t.

“Why not?”

And that simple question seemed to set off all the emotions (mostly frustration) that simmered beneath your surface.

“Because Shelby. Because I don’t want to have to beg for love and affection. I don’t want to have to tell people how to love me; they should just already love me. I don’t want to feel like I’m intruding in someone else’s relationship. I don’t want to have to point out that I’m here and I’m hurting. It’s mortifying. I... I think I’m just done.”

Shelby nodded in understanding before she stood from your bed. “Then you need to finish this today. No more hiding in your room being angry by yourself, and no more letting them sniff around the castle like dejected little runts. Put all three of you out of your misery.” 

It was your turn to nod as you too stood from your bed, ready to face possibly one of the most heartbreaking days of your life.

But Shelby was right; it was time. 

The worst part was that Shelby had been telling the truth; Remus and Sirius did look like kicked puppies. 

The second you had entered the Great Hall you heard a crash of knees against benches and cutlery clashing as Sirius clumsily tried to vacate his seat in record time to make it over to you.

“Y/N!” He called, as if you could have missed the racket he made just prior. 

He looked gaunt – like he hadn’t eaten or slept enough (in the only less than 48 hours) since you’d seen him last. His eyes were red and a little swollen, like he’d been rubbing at them.

You immediately felt sick with guilt; if he really was struggling with things with his family, the last thing you wanted was to add to his stress. But Sirius was looking after himself, and Remus was looking after him too; someone needed to think about you. You had to look after yourself.

Remus didn’t look much better, approaching the two of you much more slowly, hardly making eye contact with you as if you’d lash out at any moment. You had to admit that it annoyed you a little bit.

“Hi Sirius.” You offered, voice grating over the sudden tightness. “Remus.”

Some of the tension seemed to leave Remus’ shoulders as he made an effort to make eye contact with you.

“Can we talk?” He asked timidly. 

You knew what was coming, what was happening, what you yourself had come here planning to do.

But it broke your heart nonetheless.

“Sure.” You whispered, and exited the Great Hall without waiting to see if they were following you. 

You walked into an empty classroom and leaned against one of the walls as Remus and Sirius closed the door behind them. They shared another look and stood opposite of you.

More secret conversations. You thought bitterly. And doesn’t this just paint a lovely picture; them versus you. 

“Y/N. We, uhm...we’ve been talking, and we realized that...that maybe we haven’t gone about this the right way.” Sirius started, looking at Remus continuously as he addressed you. 

We’ve made a terrible mistake. 

“We didn’t take into account the ways in which our relationship would have to change in order to make the three of us work” Remus added.

We didn’t realize how much you’d take away from us, you heard

“We feel like we’ve been unfair to you, and... we’re really sorry.” Sirius concluded, looking like his heart had been ripped out of his rib cage. You supposed that would make sense, considering that’s how you currently felt yourself.

It probably hurt all the same to them – they’d be losing the friendships the three of you had created too; the friendship you had with Remus, the friendship you had with Sirius, and the fun the three of you had all together. But you still loved them, and the last thing you wanted to do was to interfere in their relationship.

“It’s okay, it wasn’t your fault.” You admitted finally. “It was just a mistake.”

Remus’ head cocked to the side like a confused puppy whilst Sirius’ eyebrows furrowed. “Well...I, I’m not sure-” Remus started but was cut off by Sirius.

“Wait, Y/N, what exactly do you think the mistake was?”

You looked between the two of them as you lifted your shoulder. “I... I guess including me?” You stated as a question.

Sirius actually sputtered as Remus stepped towards you, stopping himself seemingly before he made to grab you.

“No! No, Dove. That’s not a mistake!” He insisted.

“Are you kidding? You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to us – no, no. This...wow, okay. Can we start from the beginning, please? Why do you think this was a mistake?” Sirius managed to (barely) get out.

You looked to the ceiling, eyes stinging at the reality of having to voice your hurt. “Because” your voice came out embarrassingly high. “Because it-it felt...better when we were friends. I didn’t feel...in the way. And it felt easier. Just - I didn’t mean to come in between you, and I never...” you cut yourself off, quickly moving into hyperventilating territory. 

“But-”

“It’s not a mistake!” Sirius shouted, cutting Remus off. “This wasn’t a mistake! You weren’t a mistake. I... okay. I didn’t mean to fall in love with you, that’s true. But I don’t consider that a mistake. Not you, never you.”

“It was a surprise; a happy accident.” Remus added hopefully shy.

You felt drunk...dizzy...beyond confused. Weren’t they breaking up with you? Weren’t you supposed to be breaking up with them!?

“I think it was easier when we were friends because we weren’t putting so much pressure on ourselves to get this right.” Sirius explained.

Remus nodded and continued. “Sirius used to get so jealous if I got to hang out with you without him if he was at practice – took us a while to figure out that it was because he wished he was the one hanging out with you. When we started dating, I guess Sirius and I figured we’d just make sure to always hangout with you together so that neither of us felt left out. But we never even thought about how that must’ve been making you feel, dove. I’m so sorry.” 

“Regulus read us our rights.” Sirius admitted abashedly. “He pointed out that the relationship between the three of us will only work if our relationships with each other are strong. And we didn’t make our individual relationships with you a priority – that was our mistake, Y/N. Not you.” 

“Our mistake was believing you would just ‘catch up’ to where we are – which is years in the making – and also expecting you to somehow do that on your own. It was selfish and thoughtless.” Remus stressed

The things they were saying made sense and spoke to your very soul, but you couldn’t shake off this lingering feeling of dread.

“I... I should have said something... about how I was feeling.”

Sirius sighed, but it was Remus who spoke. “I think all of us could have done a better job communicating, that’s true. But we should have been more considerate. We asked you to join us, dove; we should have made that easy for you to do.”

“To think how much grief we’ve caused ourselves, when we could have just solved this all with a conversation.” Sirius mumbled dejectedly. 

“We’re not too late, are we? To solve this?” Remus asked quietly. Sirius’ eyes looked like they were close to popping out of his skull as he stood and made for you, grabbing your hands pleadingly.

“Oh gods, Y/N. You... you were breaking up with us, weren’t you? You thought we were breaking up with you?” His voice sounded very close to a sob.

“Please...please dove I- I don’t know that we deserve it, but please give us a chance to make this right, to do this properly. Give us a chance to love you the way you deserve.” Remus begged, moving to stand in front of you with Sirius, though he controlled his urge to grab your hands. 

You looked between the two boys; the two boys who you’ve been basically in love with for so long – the two boys who have proclaimed to feel the same way about you - and wondered to yourself again:

Have we made a terrible mistake?

Remus’ golden eyes shimmered with compassion and warmth, and Sirius burned fiercely in devotion and promises.  

Had you made a mistake? Falling in love with them?

No.

Perhaps Remus was right. Perhaps this was a happy accident.

“Okay.” You whispered. Remus exhaled the breath he’d been holding while Sirius’ face morphed into a small, hopeful kind of smile – far shyer than you were used to seeing from the boy.

“Okay?” He asked, moving his hands up from your wrists to your shoulders.

“Yeah... I-I don’t want to lose you guys.” You admitted wetly, a tear betraying you as it fell down your cheek. Sirius was quick to catch it with his thumb.

“Never, dove. Not if I can help it.” Remus promised. 

You believed him.  

taglist: @cyripticchronicler @orphicmortala @hcqwxrtss123 @ssc7514 @misacc08 @ashie-babie @milkyasteroids, @maqqiekwon @daisiesformylove @littlenerdybee @allllium

#ask elle #marauders fanfiction #reader insert #self insert #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar #poly!wolfstar #poly!wolfstar x reader #poly!wolfstar x you #sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x you #angst #hurt/comfort #ellecdc fics

[starchasing-chocolate]

CW: talking about death, suicidal thoughts

“I still get them.” Regulus whispers, breaking the familiar silence between him and his brother.

Sirius raises an eyebrow in confusion. “Get what?”

“The dreams. Nightmares.” Regulus hums. “Whatever you’d like to call them.”

Sirius’ eyes widen in understanding, swallowing harshly before responding. “The ones…about the water?”

“About me drowning. It’s alright, you can say it.” Regulus mumbles, voice void of emotion, harshly reflecting his lifeless and dull eyes. Regulus stays quiet for a moment, eyes locked on the Canis Major constellation in the night sky, before he speaks again. “I think they’re true, whatever they are. I think that’s how I die.”

“Don’t say that, Reggie-”

“Accept it, Sirius. You’ve found your family, your true family, and I have…nothing. I am nothing.” Regulus chokes out. “If the war doesn’t kill me I might just do it myself because”— Regulus laughs—“I have no reason to live anymore.”

“In a few years, I’ll be nothing but a memory to you and that’s a fact. I think I was born to die young. At least if I drown, I’ll die somewhere peaceful.” Regulus faces Sirius again, ignoring his brother’s horrified expression as he smiles sadly at him one last time. “I’ve always loved the water.”

#pov #Sirius visits regulus before he graduates #sorry in advance #:D #marauders #regulus black #Sirius black #jegulus #harry potter #black brothers #james potter #wolfstar #sad #hurt no comfort #Sirius and regulus #regulus and sirius #MY BOYSSSS #i sorry #regulus gets visions of drowning

[svnflower-writes]

i could never give you peace

description: James reached his hand out, gently cupping Regulus’ cheek and moving some hair out of his eyes. “Hey, little star.” Regulus leaned slightly into the touch, but didn’t speak. “Let’s get you to your room, yeah?”

or

in which James comforts Regulus after a particularly bad fight with his parents.

relationship: bodyguard!james potter x regulus black

warnings: mentions of child abuse, secret/forbidden relationship, hurt/comfort, angst, james may be slightly out of character but idk maybe he's just sad 😭

requested: yes!! @allyeardepression requested this about 4 months ago and i am SO sorry for taking so long writer's block has been kicking my ass omg i started writing as soon as you requested it but it sat there unfinished for far too long. anyway i hope you like it!!!

note: uh ok hi. this is the first thing i've posted in MONTHS and i wrote most of it in class so it's not great but fuck it i had to post something. also... sorry. the first thing i write in five months and it's heartwrenching angst, which is very typical of me. also based off a taylor swift song which is also very typical of me

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54453148

marauders taglist: (lmk if you want to be added or removed) @lovefolder @gu1lty-as-sin @dandelions-fly-in-summer-skies @a-beautiful-fool @optimizedchaos @qwerty-keysmash @lost-in-reveriie @tulips-best @nqds

James had to pretend that it didn’t affect him, seeing Orion and Walburga treat their children like they did. After all, he was there to work for all of them. But Merlin, he felt bad. The looks that flashed across the younger brother’s face were subtle enough that anyone else would have missed it, but James didn’t miss any small details—especially when they were to do with the little star.

This was one of these moments, James was positioned outside the closed door as he heard the screaming match going on directly behind him. He heard snippets of conversation, words such as ‘useless’ and ‘pathetic’ making their way to his ears and crushing a little bit of his heart. He supposed he was lucky not to be in the room while it was happening, but all he wanted was to rush in and protect Regulus from the harsh words and actions of his parents.

James allowed his head to rest against the wall, exhaling slowly as his eyes trailed over the dark tiles on the ceilings. The decor on the house was not to James’ personal taste, a combination of dark brown, green, cream, and black. He glanced down to the floor, the extravagant geometric tiles making him feel claustrophobic and sick to the stomach. Harsh black wallpaper covered the wall, the dull gold picture frames making a pathetic attempt to soften the unharmonious glare. The paintings in the frames were judging him, the upturned noses and narrowed eyes made that obvious enough.

James and Regulus had been quick to subtly remove the paintings in the hallway outside Reg’s room—Orion and Walburga didn’t tend to go up there, so no one noticed. Sirius had given them a knowing smirk when he’d caught them sneaking down a hall with a covered portrait of one of Regulus’ great aunts, but he had said nothing. Sirius held an undeniable feeling of respect for James, he could see how much he cared for his little brother, and for that he was eternally grateful.

A sharp, high pitched shout broke James out of his trance, and he glanced at the door with a grimace.

Walburga Black was his least favourite person in the whole world. He couldn’t clearly hear what followed the shout, but he had a few ideas of what it could be. He had been in the room when this had happened a few times before, and Sirius had always seemed indifferent to his parents actions—James knew he wasn’t, of course.

It was all just an act in the Black family, everyone simply pretending to be okay and pushing their feelings to the back of their minds. Regulus was less numb to the pain, and while Sirius just sat there sprawled out on the couch, ignoring his parents, Regulus always looked unnaturally stiff. He was trying to copy Sirius, that much was obvious. But it was clear that the words got to Regulus, the way his brows furrowed and he blinked quickly or looked away with fiddling hands.

Then again, maybe there was a reason that James noticed these things—not that he could take much notice of whatever underlying feelings there were anyway, since Regulus might as well be his employer. He knew Regulus felt the same, of course. There were signs, there had been since a mere two months after James started the job. Fleeting glances, brief touching of fingers as James passed him something to eat, waiting for him in the halls— the list could go on and on.

Regulus knew that James liked him too, as James wasn’t exactly subtle. He tended to forget himself when they were around others, such as Sirius or Pandora—which made for a lot of teasing from the two. Barty and Evan couldn’t say much, as they were in much the same situation.

So the two had kept up the secret whispers and hidden gazes, neither boy making any more to further the relationship, even behind closed doors. There was only so much they could get away with, and they were not embarrassed to admit that they were terrified. They were terrified of the nature of their world, the judgements and the prejudice that came with merely trying to exist. They would prefer to be open with each other about their relationship, but they would take whatever they could get at this point.

The door next to him flew open and Walburga stormed out, not even sparing James the slightest glance as she walked past him. Orion followed close behind, the harsh glare painting his face giving James an idea of the severity of the fight. After the brother’s exchanged short hushed whispers, Sirius walked through the door, offering James a small, polite smile. He walked past and James stopped him quietly. Sirius’ eyes narrowed slightly.

“Is there anything I can do?” At James’ words, Sirius’ expression softened.

“Talk to him. I’ve done as much as I can, but I think we both know that you’re better at this stuff.” Sirius pulled James into a quick hug, “and thank you. It means a lot that you try, seriously. It’s not exactly part of your job description.” Sirius being Sirius, he laughed, but it was obvious that he wasn’t actually amused. James had known Sirius for three years, and if there was one thing he had learnt about him, it was his use of humour as a coping mechanism.

“You go sneak out to Remus, I’ll take care of him.”

Sirius grinned slightly, reaching out to ruffle James’ hair, “aw, you know me too well.”

James groaned at his now messy hair—as if his hair wasn’t always a mess—pushing Sirius away and waving him towards the door, “go find your lover, Pads.”

Sirius was out the door without another word.

James glanced down the hallway to ensure it was empty and walked into the room the fight had just taken place in. Regulus was sitting on the ground and had his knees pulled up to his chest, arms wrapped around them, and head leaning against the cushion of the couch. He didn’t look up when James entered, nor when the older boy crouched down in front of him. His face wasn’t betraying what emotions he was feeling, but James knew.

James always knew.

James reached his hand out, gently cupping Regulus’ cheek and moving some hair out of his eyes. “Hey, little star.” Regulus leaned slightly into the touch, but didn’t speak. “Let’s get you to your room, yeah?”

Regulus nodded, mumbling something incoherent under his breath before looking up. “Good idea.” he took James’ outstretched hand to help him up off the ground. Even well after he had stood up, he kept his hand in James’, determined not to let go.

Regulus clearly had something he wanted to say, but his brain was not connected to the rest of his body, still in autopilot from the fight. His eyes were empty and his hands were clasped together in front of him as James gently rested his palm on his lower back to guide him up the stairs. Regulus subtly leaned into the touch, his heartbeat slowly calming and the goosebumps littering his skin beginning to fade.

Merely being near James brought him an unparalleled sense of peace.

James let his hand rub up and down his lower back comfortingly, and for a brief second he considered taking Regulus’ hand in his own but he decided against it. His brain was plagued with guilt, wishing he could rescue Regulus from the cruel reality that was his family. But no matter what James wanted, it wasn’t that simple. It never was.

James could never give Regulus peace.

Regulus stopped walking and James looked up from where his gaze had been fixed on the floor in confusion. He soon noticed that they were in fact directly outside the door to Regulus’ room. Regulus seemed to take notice of the fact that James was lost in his head and he squeezed his hand reassuringly.

After checking if the hallway was clear, James quickly opened the door. He wasn’t really supposed to enter any of the private rooms in the house, but Regulus had insisted many times that it was alright. No matter how safe Regulus felt around him, he couldn’t risk Orion and Walburga spotting him. He really was Regulus’ only source of comfort.

Regulus sat down on his bed with a blank expression on his face. James sat down next to him and pulled a bottle of water out of his bag. He handed it to Regulus with no words spoken, because the pair didn’t need words. This routine was very familiar to the two of them now, it was almost a second nature.

James quickly checked for any injuries—he hadn’t heard anything to make him suspect that there could’ve been a physical nature to the fight, but he had seen enough bruises on the Black siblings to make double checking an automatic part of the procedure. There was one on the side of Regulus’ cheek, and James pulled out the healing ointment from his bag and carefully put a little bit on the bruise.

James pushed the guilt at being unable to protect Regulus from his parents aside, knowing that this was not about him.

Once Regulus had finished, he slowly leaned into James’ side, letting out a sigh as he closed his eyes. The crook of James’ neck was like a puzzle piece that was made perfectly for Regulus’ head, and as the two slowly relaxed into each other's presence, James let his hands drift up to Regulus’ hair. His fingers slowly entangled themselves into the dark curls as he comfortingly stroked Regulus’ forehead.

It was clear to James that the support Regulus needed right now was not someone to tend to his wounds, but someone to hold him. So hold him he did. James’ right hand moved slowly up and down the small of Regulus’ back soothingly, showing an undeniable caution not to startle the younger boy with any quick movements.

He cared more about the little star than was possible to admit, and he prioritised his safety over everything else. The two lay in each other’s arms for what felt like (and probably was) hours. Suddenly, Regulus shifted in his arms, mumbling something under his breath.

James tilted his head like a confused puppy, gesturing for Regulus to repeat himself. Regulus cleared his throat and glanced away.

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For…” Regulus trailed off, and James was about to let it go—he wasn’t going to push for him to open up more than he was willing to do.

“...for keeping me safe.”

The dark haired boy’s voice was merely a whisper, head buried into James’ shoulder as he refused to meet his eyes. He was embarrassed, James realised. He didn’t know what to say, so he stayed silent.

James thought that the two were about to fall back into their silence, when Regulus spoke. “It’s peaceful.”

Giving him an inquisitive look, James turned to face Regulus.

“Being here with you. You’re peaceful.”

James stiffened slightly before slowly nodding, “yeah, I know what you mean. You’re peaceful too, little star.”

You deserve more peace than I can give you.

Regulus smiled up at him, entwining their fingers reassuringly. “I don’t think I’ve ever been more at peace than I am when I lie here with you.”

Merlin, it’s like he can hear my thoughts.

Finally, James responded. “You mean more to me than anyone else ever has, little star.”

There was a raw honesty in his tone. He may not love their situation, but he loved the boy in front of him with his whole heart.

No matter where this road was leading, James knew it was where he wanted to go. Whatever the roadworks along the way, he was in this for good.

#luc posts #luc writes #jegulus #james x regulus #james potter #regulus black #i'm so sorry this took so long #also its unneceseraly sad so uh #angst #hurt/comfort #marauders #sirius black #wolfstar mention #james potter x regulus black #marauders era #harry potter marauders #harry potter

[demonbanisher]

Hey y’all. I have been having A Time and its so frustrating because there is so much I want to do where my brain is like haha fuck you we aren’t doing that today. But I was determined to get something done. So here’s some more Unexpected AU for y’all and thanks for being with patient with me 💜

Unexpected AU Master List

TW: ripped stitches and blood

I’m Not Them

The day the Potters were set to come meet Addie, Remus woke up early. He hadn’t been sleeping much since she’d been born, between Addie being up through the night and being in pain every time he rolled over. He tiptoed carefully past Sirius and scooped Addie out of her crib. 

He took her into the kitchen and hummed to her softly as he got the formula ready and then sat down to feed her. He then got her settled in the baby wrap his mom had gotten for him and set about tidying up the mess of their house, the pile of bottles in the sink they hadn’t had time to clean, the overflowing diaper garbage they kept meaning to clean out, the endless piles of laundry that never seemed to stop. He was just finishing up when Sirius came wandering out of their bedroom rubbing his eyes. 

“Morning,” Remus said, as he wandered over to give him a kiss. 

“Morning,” Sirius said, yawning and then frowning slightly when he saw Addie strapped to Remus’s chest. “How long have you been up?”

“Not long,” Remus lied.

“You shouldn’t have her on your chest for too long. You’re still healing. It’s barely been a week.”

“I know I’m just…” Remus trailed off. Nervous? It felt so silly to say aloud, as if he thought the Potters would be mad at him for having an unplanned child with their son. 

Sirius wandered into the kitchen in search of coffee and started to take in the little things that were different. The empty sink, the organized and tidied counters, and the already warm pot of coffee with their best mugs set out for all of them. “Remus, it’s just my parents coming by, you know you don’t need to,” but he was cut off by the sound of the doorbell.

“I’ll get it,” Remus said, heading in the direction of the front door, looking much too cheery for someone who had just had major surgery a few days ago. 

“Oh my goodness,” Euphemia said, the second the door was open. “What are you doing up on your feet darling? You’ve just had a baby and surgery. Come now, you must sit down this instant.”

Sirius smiled around his mug of coffee, grateful that he could count on his mum to always have his back. “Hi Mum, Dad,” he said as he wandered into the living room where his mum was currently fussing over Remus to his protest while his dad sorted through the bags of gifts and goodies they brought with them. 

“Sirius dear,” his Mum said, beaming, distracted from her task only long enough to give Sirius a quick peck on the cheek. “Please tell your husband he needs to rest.”

Sirius looked at Remus who was silently begging for help and gave him a slight, sideways smirk in return. “Bold of you to think he’d listen to me.”

Remus scowled at him in response and Sirius turned away so it didn’t seem so obvious that he was finding joy in his husband’s misery.

“Let me just get you coffee first Mia, then I’ll sit down,” Remus said as he slipped past her, wincing as he got to his feet again. 

Sirius frowned. “You okay?”

Before Remus could answer, Euphemia was replying for him. “He’ll be okay once he’s resting. Let me take my granddaughter from you. Fleamont can you go and get us some coffee or maybe put the kettle on for tea. Sirius, come sit down with your husband. You both must be so tired.”

Sirius grinned at Remus as he helped his mother free Addie from the baby wrap before being forcefully seated next to him on the couch. 

“Oh my,” Euphemia said as she sat down on Remus’s other side. “Fleamont forget the drinks come look at how perfect our granddaughter is.”

Fleamont came back a moment later with two cups of coffee. “She’ll be mad at me in an hour when she doesn’t have her caffeine,” he told Sirius and Remus teasingly. 

“You’re lucky I’m too happy looking at this baby right now to be mad at you.”

Fleamont smiled and leaned down to look at the bundle in his wife’s arms. 

“Have you ever seen a more perfect baby?” she said.

“I think you say that about all the babies,” Fleamont said, planting a kiss on his wife’s head, but you can see in his eyes that he was just as smitten as she was. 

“Have you two thought about what you want to be called?” Sirius asked.

“I think Grammie and Gramps,” Euphemia said. “What do you think dear?”

“Whatever you want love,” Fleamont said. 

Euphemia looked back down at her granddaughter. “Addie is a good name.”

“That was all Remus,” Sirius said smiling.

Remus nodded, but Sirius noticed him squirming as he tried to discreetly press a hand to his side. 

“Are you okay?” Sirius whispered.

“Yes,” Remus said, and then to all of them. “I just have to run to the washroom quickly. I’ll be right back.”

Once he was gone, Euphemia passed Addie off to Fleamont so she could focus on her son. “How are you doing sweetheart?”

Sirius immediately melted into her side. “I’m okay.”

“Darling, I talked to James. He told me how bad it was. How you almost lost him.”

Sirius tensed against her. 

“You’re allowed to fall apart,” she said as she brushed his hair out of his face. "The two of you are. I mean when James was born I didn’t have a flying fuck what I was doing. My place was certainly more of a mess than this and I can assure you Fleamont and I had spent years trying to learn all we could about babies. Being a new parent is hard enough, you don’t have to make it harder on yourself by feeling you have to have it all together.”

Sirius sat up a bit, knowing if he kept listening to his mom talking like this, he’d eventually give in. “If I let myself fall apart, I’m not going to get back up afterwards.”

“Sirius - “ she said, reaching out for him, but he stood up and stepped out of her grasp.

“Remus has been gone a while. I’m just going to check on him.”

“Of course," she said pulling her back into her chest and smiling at him. “We got Addie. Take all the time you need.”

Sirius sighed as he wandered in the direction of the bedroom. He wasn’t stupid. He knew both him and Remus were a mess, but he also knew neither of them had both the energy to deal with processing anything that happened while still being able to take care of Addie. 

He found the door to the bathroom closed but could see the light on underneath. He knocked, “Remus, you okay in there?” He heard something fall and then Remus cursed.

“Yeah, just give me one second.”

Sirius frowned and tried the handle only to find it locked. Now he knew something was wrong. They had a strict no locking the bathroom door rule after Remus had fainted while trying to shower after a full moon and in his panic Sirius had forgotten about magic and broken the door down. 

“Remus, why is the door locked?”

“Just one second Pads.”

“Remus, open the door right now please or I’ll unlock it myself.”

He heard Remus sigh and then a faint click of the lock on the door before it opened. “Don’t freak out,” Remus said as Sirius stepped inside.

Sirius froze as he took in the blood stained tissues and gauze that seemed to cover every surface of their vanity. Remus looked pale and had his hands pressed to his side as blood leaked through his fingers. “What the fuck happened?”

“I think I tore my stitches, but the blood is coming out too quickly for me to heal it.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Remus opened his mouth to speak but before he could Sirius cut him off, “I swear to god if you say you didn’t want to be a bother I’m going to scream.”

Remus closed his mouth and looked down sheepishly. “Sorry.”

Sirius sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I’m not mad. Okay, maybe I’m a little mad. I just wish you’d take better care of yourself.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” Sirius led Remus to sit down on the shower chair as he kneeled to better inspect the wound. “I thought you said you and Addie had only been up for a bit.”

“We’d been up for three hours and I panic cleaned the whole house with her on my chest.”

Sirius reached for a fresh sheet of gauze and gestured for Remus to move his hands before pressing it against the wound. “Remus, you know you can’t be moving like that yet.”

“I know. I got worried. I knew your parents were coming by and I don’t know how much of a mess I’m allowed to be as a new parent.”

“Love, not only are you a new parent but you just endured an extremely traumatic medical event. I don’t think anyone gets to tell you how put together or falling apart you have to be.”

Remus nodded, closing his eyes as the world started to spin. 

“You alright?” Sirius asked.

“Dizzy,” Remus mumbled. 

“Okay, I’m going to grab my wand. Yell if you think you might faint.” Sirius got up and grabbed his wand from the nightstand, stopping on his way back to get the healer kit he kept under the sink. “Keep the gauze tight. I’m just going to poke my want under to cast the healing spell and then I’m going to stitch it up to be safe.”

Remus nodded as Sirius did what he said, sighing in relief as the magic washed over him. Sirius then opened the kit and slowly started to stitch the faded wound together for good measure. His hands trembling as he realized Remus’s blood was all over them again. By the time he was almost finished he was shaking so bad he could barely hold the needle.

“Are you okay?” Remus asked.

“I’m fine,” Sirius said as he pushed himself to his feet and went to clean his hands up in the sink. “We’re both fine.”

Remus went to stand and started to swoon. Sirius caught sight of him going down in the mirror and managed to turn around just in time to catch him. “Lean on me,” Sirius said as he led him back to the chair. “I’m gonna clean you up and then we’ll get you into bed.”

Remus didn’t argue as Sirius slowly washed all the blood off of Remus’s middle and then brought in a set of loose pyjamas that he helped him change into. Sirius then helped him to his feet and got him into bed. 

“I can make it to the living room,” Remus said, even though Sirius was effectively holding him upright.

“No, you can make it to bed,” Sirius said sternly. “I’ll bring my parents and Addie in here to finish the visit and I promise they won’t panic when they see the messiest room of our house, okay?”

Remus nodded. He was too tired to fight. 

“I’ll get you some juice and chocolate to help with your blood sugar. Under no circumstances are you to get out of the bed by yourself today, you hear me?”

Remus couldn’t help but smile. “You’re gonna be a great dad.”

Sirius offered his own smile in response before heading back to the living room himself.

“Everything alright?” Euphemia asked from where she was sitting on the floor playing with Addie. Sirius didn’t miss the way that her eyes flashed to his bloodstained clothes and realized he had forgotten to change. 

“Yeah, sorry. One of Remus’s stitches came loose.” It was a gross understatement but Sirius couldn’t deal with being suffocated in their well meaning concern right now. 

“Would you and Dad be okay to sit with him? We can bring Addie’s stuff in there just for today.”

“Of course.”

“I’m just going to get Remus some orange juice and chocolate and then I’ll meet you in there.”

“Fleamont,” Euphemia said and he was on his feet before she even finished. Sirius wondered how long you had to be married before every different intonation of your name became a secret language. “Go sit with Remus, I’ll be right there.”

Sirius made his best disgruntled noise but headed down the hallway into their bedroom to curl up next to Remus.

“Where are you parents?” Remus asked. 

“Getting Addie’s stuff together to bring in here while also secretly discussing how worried they are about us.”

Remus let his head flop back against the pillow. “Maybe we should have waited a little longer before having them come over.”

“I think Mum might have broken to our house in the middle of the night if I made her go one more day without seeing her granddaughter.”

Remus laughed and then winced at the pain in his side.

“Easy love,” Sirius said, laying a protective hand where the wound was.

Euphemia appeared with Addie a little while later.

“Mum where did that onesie come from?”

“Hmm,” Euphemia said as she sat down in the rocking chair. “Oh, I picked up in the store the other day. I went to change her diaper and just decided I had to see her in it. Look it even has a little tail!” She lifted Addie up so they could see that indeed there was a tail on the bum to match the little bear ears that were on the hood. 

“Remus, I think we might have a problem with our child being spoiled rotten.”

“Oh hush,” Euphemia said. “I’m a grandmother now. It’s what we do.”

Fleamont appeared a little later laden with a tray that had two plates with bacon, eggs, and toast, two glasses of orange juice, Sirius’s unfinished coffee, and a chocolate bar. 

“Da,” Sirius said, “you didn’t have to do all of that.”

Fleamont just smiled and looked at the floor the way he did when any complimented him or acknowledged he was capable of love and soft things. 

The four of them chatted while Sirius and Remus ate breakfast. Euphemia had Fleamont showed them every gift that they’d brought for Addie, beaming in excitement at every item. At some point during the conversation, Remus stared to doze off and it wasn’t long before him and Addie were soundly asleep. 

“Sirius love,” his mom said quietly. “Do you want to change?”

The blood on his clothes had since dried and had made the fabric hard and crunchy. He felt silly that he had forgotten to do so earlier. “Right,” he said as he got up and went to grab a clean shirt.

“I saw the bathroom,” Euphemia said, softly.

Sirius’s hands stilled and he closed his eyes. “I’ll clean it up in a second so you and Dad can you use it.”

“You’re not listening to what I’m saying.”

“What?” Sirius snapped. “What are you saying?” He froze when Remus moaned in his sleep and all their eyes went to him for a moment before he stilled after turning over. Sirius walked over to the bed and carefully lifted the covers so he could check that the stitches hadn’t torn again.

“Hope called me love, she told me Remus said she could go home after your first two days back here and that she didn’t think he was ready to be on his own.”

“Are you accusing me of kicking my mother-in-law out of our house?” Sirius asked, keeping his voice low as he tucked Remus back in again. The steady simmer enough to show his anger.

“No darling. I’m just trying to say I’m worried about you,” she looked to Fleamont. “We’re all worried about you.”

“Remus asked his mom to leave. The support was good but the two of us have a lot to figure out and process. We needed some space to do that.”

“I know and I’m not arguing with that. I just know that you are Remus both have a habit of pulling inwards on yourself when you’re struggling.”

Sirius felt himself bristle. “I’m going to be a good parent. I’m not going to be like them.”

“Sirius, I’m not saying that.”

Sirius wrapped his arms around himself, feeling the trembling from earlier return. “I think you guys you should go. 

“Sirius -“

“Euphemia,” Fleamont interrupted, placing a steady hand on her arm. “Let’s give them their space.” He smiled at Sirius and Sirius tried to communicate a silent thank you back.

Euphemia nodded and got up to put Addie in her crib. “Floo us if you need us. Anytime.”

Sirius nodded and waited until he heard the sharp crack of them aparating away to give up any sense of being okay and crawl under the covers and wrap himself around Remus as the tears came. 

“Hey,” Remus mumbled as he came to and ran a hand gently through Sirius’s hair. “What’s wrong?” His voice was drowsy likely from both lack of sleep and the physical drain on his body. Sirius felt bad for waking him. 

“Got in a fight with my parents.”

Remus pulled him in closer to his chest. “Want to talk about it?”

“They’re worried about us and it feels like they’re worried that we can’t do this. That I can’t do this.” He buried himself deeper into Remus’s side. “Is it stupid that over a decade later I’m still looking over my shoulder for them?”

“Your bio parents?”

Sirius nodded. “Euphemia and Fleamont didn’t do anything but it feels like my whole life I’ve been waiting for them to. Anytime they came to see what artwork I was drawing, or wanted to read an essay, or I came downstairs in new clothes, I was waiting for proof that they were just like them. Maybe I was just waiting for confirmation that everyone was.”

“Because then hopefully it would stop hurting so much that your parents abused you?”

“It’s stupid. I know.”

“It’s not stupid. It makes perfect sense. Not that its the same thing, but you know how many times I walk into a doctor’s office expecting them to be an uneducated twat? Sometimes bad things happen for no reason and it sucks because it feel like if you had a reason for the pain then maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much.”

“Do you think I’m going to be a bad parent?” Sirius mumbled, his face fully buried in Remus’s shirt.

“No. You’re not them. You are not going to be them. I’ll tell you that as often as you need to hear it, okay?”

Sirius nodded, scrunching up Remus’s shirt in the process. “I should call them and apologize.”

“Or, hear me out, we could have a nice family nap and then you could call them after?”

Sirius pulled the blanket up tighter around the two of them. “A family nap sounds perfect."

#unexpected au #hurt/comfort #wolfstar hurt/comfort #wolfstar #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar parents

[noideasforausername]

the moon, the star and the asteroid.

description: angsty established wolfstar x pining fem!reader blurb that I wrote because there's a serious lack of them on here

word count: 0.2k

warnings: !angst! hurt no comfort (don't say I didn't warn you) ,, saviour complex if you squint? ,, death (?)

───────────

It was in the way Remus instinctively edged closer to Sirius whenever he was near. 

It was in the way his cold stone façade would break at the smaller boy’s antics. 

It was in the stares they shared, getting so lost in one another that the whole world seemed to disappear. 

The star and the moon. 

The perfect pair. 

She was just an asteroid.  

Destined to orbit around them temporarily.  

Until the unrelenting force of gravity would inevitably pull her out of orbit, imploding her whole world and destroying everything in its wake. 

Sometimes she wondered if it was all worth it.

Was simply existing in their presence enough?  

Hoping against hope that for once, the most peculiar astronomical paradox would take place, and the trajectories of a star, an asteroid and the moon would intersect? 

That same question played over and over in her head; and it replayed one last time when she jumped in front of her his star.  

Because if there’s one thing an asteroid can do, it’s to sacrifice itself first.  

To allow the star and the moon to continue shining under the same sky, with or without its presence. 

And as she felt herself being tugged backwards into misty nothingness; two matching tears fell down her cheeks: one for each of them.   

And she smiled. 

The image of her last moments in orbit forever imprinted behind her eyes: the star and the moon, hand in hand, looking at her.

Finally seeing her. 

The veil fluttered once. 

And the asteroid was no more. 

#wolfstar x reader #angst #wolftsar angst #marauders angst #marauders x reader #wolfstar x reader angst #wolfstar x y/n #marauders x y/n #moony #padfoot #wolfstar #sirius black #sirius black x reader angst #sirius x reader angst #wolfstar oneshot #poly!marauders x reader #remus lupin x reader #remus x reader angst #remus x y/n #sirius black x fem! reader #remus lupin x fem! reader #moony x padfoot x reader #angsty blurb #hurt no comfort

[my-moony-and-padfoot]

Let me take care of you

TW: self-harm. Nothing too graphic, but it's there. (A short description of the wounds, that's about it?) So, if you get easily triggered please read carefully.

Word count: 1 800

He opened the door to their dorm, seeing Sirius laying in his bed, he wasn't supposed to be back yet, so it took Remus by surprise. “I thought you had quidditch?” He asked, setting his bag down on the floor, and taking off the cloak.

“Do.”

“And you're here because -?” He asked, but this time didn't get an answer. Something was wrong, though he wasn't sure what it was yet, but he could tell. Remus walked over to the bed, seeing the tear tracks on Sirius' cheeks, they were quite visible even in the dim lighting. He wasn't crying anymore though, he looked like he was sleeping. He sat down on the floor, leaning his head against the bedside table, smiling slightly as Sirius opened his eyes. “What's wrong?”

“N-nothing.”

“Sirius, love, I can tell something is wrong.” he said, reaching to brush a strand of hair behind his ear. “Wanna tell me?”

“Don't feel good.”

“Do you feel ill or-?” Sirius shook his head, eyes tired as he looked at Remus. “Okay. Did something happen?”

“No.”

“That's good, baby.” He smiled softly, trying to figure out what exactly was wrong, maybe it was just a bad day. There was this pained expression on Sirius face, though Remus couldn't quite place what it was or what could be hurting him. “Not feeling up for quidditch?”

Sirius shook his head. “Jamey thinks I'm sick.”

“Okay.” He chuckled, watching as a faint smile flashed on Sirius' face, though it faded quickly. “Talk to me, love?”

Sirius took in a shaky breath, closing his eyes for a moment as if to prevent tears from falling. Then, with the arm that had been folded under his head, he reached for Remus'. He smiled, intertwining their fingers together, rubbing small circles into his wrist with his thumb, waiting for Sirius to speak.

“I'm sorry.”

“Why are you saying sorry, angel?”

“Did somethin’.”

Remus felt his heart sink at the all too familiar situation, dread and worry, but he stayed calm, knowing it would make Sirius mire anxious if he'd panic, and he didn't want that. So, he just reached to wipe away the tear that fell down, being as gentle as he possibly could. “Show me, baby.” Sirius shook his head, more tears spilling out. “Please? M'not mad, never mad. I just wanna make sure you're alright.” he whispered, wiping away more of the tears, shifting so he was sitting on his knees.

“I'm so sorry.”

“Shh, shh, it's okay.” he brushed a strand of hair behind his ear. “Let's get up? Just wanna make sure they're all clean, don't want them to get infected, do we?” Sirius shook his head. “Then we'll have some cuddles, sound good?”

“Chocolate?”

“All the chocolate you want.” Remus smiled, kissing his forehead, getting the smallest of smiles out of the boy. “I should even have a few chocolate frogs left, remember the ones Pete bought for Christmas?”

“Still?”

“I'm not as greedy as you think, baby.” he chuckled, kissing his nose and cheek before getting up from the floor. “Plus, I got a ton of chocolate for Christmas. I got other sweets too, c'mon up love.” he said, taking both of Sirius' hands into his and leading him into the bathroom. “Hop up, darling.”

Sirius did as he was told, hopping up to sit down on the counter, watching as Remus pulled out the muggle med kit he insisted on using, though Sirius didn't mind. He also got out some cotton pads, and a clean towel, kissing Sirius' forehead when he came to stand in front of the boy.

“You have to show me now, okay?” Sirius nodded, looking down, starting to fiddle with his sleeves. “Take your time, baby.” He whispered, brushing his hair back, as he looked at Sirius, who shook his head after a moment. “I can too, if you want me to.”

“Please.” Sirius whispered, looking up at Remus, eyes filling with tears again, threatening to spill over.

“Okay. Don't worry.” he gently rolled up the sleeves of Sirius' jumper, going slowly so Sirius' could stop him if it felt too overwhelming. He winced slightly at the sight, he couldn't make out everything, but small, somewhat deep looking cuts were on both arms, blood slowly dripping down. “We're gonna have to put some bandages on these love, shh, shh, don't cry it's alright. I'm gonna clean them with these first, then with some water, and we'll put bandages on to keep them clean.”

“You have to tell me if it hurts too much.” Sirius nodded, tears falling as he closed his eyes, feeling how Remus started to dab the cotton pads on the deepest looking ones, wiping away blood. Sirius just kept still, keeping his arms where Remus left them, resting on his thighs. He heard the water running after a moment, and he opened his eyes, glancing at Remus, who just wiped away the tears before squeezing the excess water out of the towel.

“You know this is gonna sting a bit, I'm sorry about that, baby.” He whispered softly, waiting for Sirius to nod before starting to clean his arms better, apologizing every time he heard a hurt whimper come from Sirius, going lighter on the next one. “All done with that, love. You did so good. Proud of you.”

“Kiss?”

“You can definitely have a kiss.” He smiled, leaning down to give him a chaste kiss, getting another small smile from him as he leaned back up. “Just one more thing and you'll get another kiss, okay? Maybe even a hug.” Sirius nodded, looking up at Remus through his wet eyelashes, looking tired and still sad, though not as much as before. He gently wrapped his hands up with the bandages. “Not too tight?” He asked, lacing their fingers together when he was done.

Sirius shook his head, looking up at Remus. “Sorry you have to do this.”

“Shh, no, don't be sorry.” He whispered. “All good. I don't have to do anything, you're not making me, are you?” Sirius shook his head. “I want to, baby. Wanna take care of you, if you just let me.” he smiled, helping Sirius down from the counter, who just wrapped his arms around Remus' neck, face pressing into his chest. He did the same, arms wrapping around his waist as he buried his face into Sirius' hair, swaying them just slightly. “Feeling at all better?” he asked after a moment, hand running up and down his back slowly.

“Only ‘cause of you.” He mumbled. Remus smiled to himself, kissing his head. “Don't go.”

“Wasn't planning on that.” he whispered, smiling softly once Sirius looked up at him. “I’m proud of you. So proud.”

“I love you.”

“And I love you.” He leaned down to give him a kiss. “Wanna go to bed?” He nodded, but leaned against Remus rather than moving. “I'm not gonna carry you, love. It's barely fifteen steps, you can make it.”

“Mm no.” He whispered, shaking his head. “Wanted to take care of me.” He grinned, and Remus was just glad there was at least some of his normal cheekiness back. “Please moons.”

“Only this time, baby.” He whispered, kissing his forehead before lifting him up, Sirius' legs wrapping around his waist, clinging on like a koala. He smiled as he was set down onto the bed. “Wanna change into something more comfy?”

“Want your jumper.”

“Okay.” he nodded, going to dig out two of his jumpers, since he definitely wanted to change out of his school uniform. He also dug out the stash of chocolate he kept in there, handing Sirius the jumper before going to the bathroom to clean up the mess he had left before. He changed his jumper while walking back over to Sirius, climbing in bed next to him. Sirius rested his head on Remus' shoulder, shifting so he could curl up to him, feet over his lap, which was nearly impossible to do comfortably in the small bed, but he didn't mind.

“You promised chocolate.”

“I did.” he reached for his bedside table, grabbing the two boxes of chocolate frogs, giving them both to Sirius. “I'm eating the other one, by the way. Which cards are you still missing?”

“Rowena Ravenclaw at least, then I have all the founders.” he said, opening the package, and giving the frog the Remus. “Then some rarer ones I think, I've had such bad luck, never got Ollivander. No luck.” He said as he looked at the card he just got.

“Maybe next time, baby.” He nodded, opening the other one, this time taking the frog for himself, flipping over the card.

“I have like three of her, what the hell.” Remus laughed quietly. “It's unfair Moony. I will slip it into James' deck, he has like ten.”

“And how many of them are actually his?”

“Maybe two.” Sirius smiled, and he laughed again. “ ‘s only fair, he keeps giving me Dumbledore. But I, unlike Jamey, keep track of my cards.”

“Sure you do love.”

“I do.” He said. “Well, at least I notice if cards suddenly appear.”

Remus smiled, grabbing the trash from his lap to set them down on the bedside table. “Do you want more?”

“A bit?” Remus nodded as he grabbed the chocolate bar, opening it and breaking pieces off, few for himself and few for Sirius, then set it back on his bedside table. “Thank you.” he yawned, leaning even closer to Remus.

“Are you tired?” Sirius hummed. “Should we take a little nap? We have time before dinner.”

“Mhm. Don' wanna go.” he mumbled. “So tired.”

“What if we sleep and see what we'll do after? It's not until a few hours, love.” Sirius nodded. “C'mon, let's lay down, you'll be more comfy.”

Remus shifted so he was laying down, smiling as Sirius laid down too, resting his head on Remus' chest, half laying on top of him just because he could. Remus pulled the blanket over them, holding Sirius close.

“Do you wanna talk?” He asked, starting to play with Sirius' hair, Sirius shrugged, hiding more into Remus' chest, starting to draw shapes to his chest to keep his hands busy. “We don't have to, love. But you know it helps.”

“I'm just tired.” He mumbled. “Really overwhelmed. Just a bad day, I guess.”

“Okay.” He whispered, kissing his head. “Anything I can do to help?”

“Just wanna be with you and sleep.” Remus nodded. “Snuggles.”

He chuckled, holding Sirius a little closer, smiling as Sirius reached for his hand, so he intertwined their fingers together. “I'll wake you up in a few hours, okay?”

“Mhm.”

“I love you.” He whispered into Sirius' hair. “Sleep well.”

“Love you too.”

A/N:

Hi :)

Hopefully you liked this, and remember to take care of yourself <3

Also, both James and Sirius would have the biggest chocolate frog card collection, and would mess with each other constantly. (Remus gives all his cards to Sirius, cause why wouldn't he?)

You can't convince me otherwise on this, like no way that didn't happen

Have a good day/night/something, see you around somewhere, maybe?

<3

#sirius black #remus lupin #sirius orion black #remus john lupin #remus x sirius #sirius x remus #wolfstar #marauders #marauders era #fluff #young remus lupin #young sirius black #self h@rm #wolfstar angst #fluff and angst #light angst #hurt/comfort #fluffy

[lucydefleur]

I saw this pose and immediately thought of these two. Also how well is it coming threw that Pads has a concussion I was going for he’s fresh out of a fight and moony just found him blooded and is about ready to lose his shit but is holding it together for his extremely concussed boyfriend. I’m definitely returning to this fandom any body got good fic recommendations?

#mauraders #wolfstar #remus x sirius #remus lupin #digital art #artwork #mauraders fanart #wolfstar fanart #sirus black #digital illustration #drawing #doodle #hurt/comfort #reference art #art #dark aesthetic #lgbtq artist #fanfic rec #mauraders fandom #lucydefleur