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haliteatiger · 1 month

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Happy Werewolf Wednesday, ya'll! We're serving up a big pot of tea tonight so get those cups ready!

Special thanks to Blackbackedjackal and King for their help in putting this together, editing, and especially to Jackal for being so supportive and encouraging. I'm very much not normally the type to do call-out posts, but people need to be aware of Dogblud, as she has hurt, not only myself, but quite a few others as well, and seems to have somehow gotten away with behaving like this for 20-odd years. I'm of the mind she shouldn't be allowed to do so any more, hence this post.

TL;DR - Beware of Dogblud, aka Ashryn, aka DogofBlud, aka ThatDogMagic. Very, very long post under the cut.

With everything happening with DogBlud and Blackbackedjackal's studio, I felt emboldened to come forward with my own experiences with her. This is something I've been carrying around since it happened roughly 2 years ago. It was one of the main reasons that put me off drawing werewolves, my own characters, or engaging any more in the fandom. I've hinted at it a few times but I've never had the energy to come forward and deal with the fall out. I wanted to move on with the rest of my life because IRL was more important than online drama. And I knew her behavior would come back to bite her sooner or later, regardless of what I did.

It's been very validating to see that I was right.

It was around the time that Blud and I became friends that I was feeling a bit burnt out on werewolves. I'd been trying to pull together my own werewolf-related project for something close to 12 years. The past 4 years had also been pretty draining on me creatively and socially, as it had for a lot of artists with regards to the pandemic. I also had some IRL things I was dealing with: mainly with my marriage and transitioning between medications to manage my anxiety + bipolar.

Unfortunately, I didn't have the foresight to screenshot everything at the time. I do have logs from back when we roleplayed together. There are several conversations in them but because they were saved as text documents, they're pretty dubious in terms of solid evidence.

It would have been better if I had taken screenshots as it was happening, rather than just saving the logs. With what I *do* have, however, I feel as though it may be enough to make the point that I'm trying to make, and to exhibit how horrible things got.

I'll provide some context.

I had talked with Blud on and off over the years, and we had always gotten along. We had a lot in common and after we had started talking more, our friendship eventually grew into a collaborative project. We were going to combine our stories and write a comic based on it. We had a lot of discussions on how Blud was reticent to do this in the beginning and how she wanted a contract to be made up so that in the event that something *did* happen, we could both walk away feeling like it was handled fairly.

Honestly, I should have listened to the first alarm that went off in my brain, when, in an act of ominous foreboding she said something along the lines of don't be so sure, it could happen. It was in response to me being like "we're getting along so well and share so much of a bond right now. I can't fathom that being a problem!"

The contract never materialized. It was something we had decided to do *after* we had put together something of a prototype project to see how well we worked together. It made complete sense to me at the time as we were both eager to focus on the fun parts of writing and drawing together.

It was decided that I would be the lead artist (doing coloring and final lines) while Blud would do everything else (which was inking, layouts, and the majority of the writing). The both of us felt that she had more experience in those areas. I also believed that she had a better knack for it as well. I had felt that she had a better understanding of story structure than myself. And I thought that Blud had felt the same way about my art. That I had the experience to take point on that.

Since I had collaborated with other artists and writers before, I attempted to approach the project with the same sort of professionalism I always do. Especially the projects that I genuinely thought stood a chance of being published in the future. We had started out trying to get a feel for each other's flows and rhythms. I had expected Blud to try and meet me in the middle of where our processes would potentially differ from one another, so that we could develop a fairly smooth workflow.

I had also expected, according to our discussions on the matter, that we would value each other's opinions on things and take them into consideration. We had such good synchronicity already.

In the beginning, there wasn't any unusual behavior that caught my attention. Blud was a bit uncomfortable with trying out new things but I did my best to accommodate her so that our project could move forward without too much turbulence. She had also mentioned to me before that she was autistic, and since my husband is also autistic, I knew how difficult it could be when it came to adapting to new routines. But when it was time for her to deliver the first set of layouts, it wasn't at all what I expected.

What I had expected was something with margins, clearly marked boxes, and figures that I could do rough lines over. I also expected notes that confirmed what we had discussed earlier about the project; that way I knew what she wanted or if there would be any changes. She took offense to this, feeling like I was violating our agreement. Though Blud did try to give me space with regards to the actual art, and while she would offer criticisms here and there, I trusted her opinion as an artist and as a friend. But apparently that didn't go both ways. In fact, Blud seemed to be offended that I expected more from her.

Blud agreed to concede. She suddenly seemed fine with the changes that I had asked for after seeing the layouts. I guess she was feeling overstimulated by the change and I might have been applying too much of a critical tone to her responses to begin with. I have had to deal with rejection sensitivity throughout my life and it's certainly prompted me to approach what people say to me online with a bit of scrutiny (sometimes too much).

And while I was mildly annoyed, although admittedly I was more concerned with Blud's overall reaction to my asking for clarification about several things in the layouts, I let it go. But it seemed like there was a problem. The majority of my ideas were either rejected or outright overridden with Blud convincing me that my faulty memory had made me unable to remember what we had agreed upon. Or that I might have been misremembering in my own favor.

There was one time where we were discussing a monster's design. Blud had already decided to settle on one design that she had come up with, even as I continued to offer other suggestions. The story was to take place in my setting, so I was under the impression that I got to decide what kind of creatures should populate it. The conversation ended somewhat ambiguously. I had assumed that we'd come to a solid conclusion later.

I came back the next day and it turned out that we were using her design because that was what we had decided on. "Don't you remember? You really need to do something about that faulty memory of yours, Tek. I can't be doing this for you all the time."

At which point, Blud would go back and meticulously scour the conversation until she managed to find a set of lines that would make it seem as though I had 100% agreed. Even when I tried to explain that I had meant something else, she took it as an affront on her inability to understand nuances due to her autism.

I admit that my memory isn't that greatest at times, but I've never had anyone complain about it before. And none of my friends have ever minded providing reminders to me if I did misremember something incorrectly. We all forget stuff at times, right? It's *still* something that I'm self-conscious about because (like a lot of people with ADHD) my memory seems selective at times. This was, apparently, a problem that I needed to manage.

And even as I'm remembering these incidents to the best of my ability, I've already spent so much time recounting all of this to friends. I feel confident in my recollection. There are some details that may overlap or become entwined with other things, but it all basically tells the same story. Especially in conjunction with what's been said by others. You're free to take it as hearsay since I do not have screenshots to back this up.

I will mention (since I've been told it's something that Blud has taken particular interest in) that at one point, I did have a crush on her. I was having some problems IRL, and it was nice to have someone whom I felt actually understood me. I also felt like I saw a lot of myself in her. I think that, at one point, I did describe her as the kind of "girlfriend" I would want. Blud seemed to indicate the feeling was mutual.

Between our collaborative partnership and all of the details we shared about our lives, it did feel like an intimate relationship at times. I had no intentions of pursuing it. We were not compatible in our romantic and sexual identities, and I had no intention of leaving my current partner for her.

I had begun to notice red flags, even if I wasn't ready to accept them yet.

I've had experience with abusive relationships in the past but they were in person, and not online. I knew what to look out for and yet I was being willfully ignorant about our friendship. I wanted to give Blud the benefit of the doubt. I wanted the project to work *so* badly that I was willing to work with her increasing demands as the months went by.

I had no idea that those demands would change into, quite literal, temper tantrums. It would then trigger my fawning response which was due to an abusive family situation that I had dealt with before I moved to Canada. The tactic was this: concede to someone until there was a time that they either understood reason or I had the chance to use it against them if necessary.

I started to take screenshots. I wish that I had taken a lot more of them so that everyone could get a better idea of what was happening. I did go back and manage to record the majority of the first outburst. It was the first inkling I had that Blud wasn't playing with a full deck of cards. I knew that that would be one of the first conversations that she would promptly delete. And consequently, I was right.

This assortment of screenshots will exhibit the first serious confrontation that Blud had with me. I am absolutely *not* proud of how I handled this. I was literally panicking at the time and doing whatever I could to get her to calm down. Because I have a temper that can look similar to this in person, I knew that I had to wait until the post-tantrum clarity would hit Blud. I tried my best to not lose my own temper in turn but looking back, I feel that I came off as sounding too timid.

I didn't want to ruin this project.

I wanted to make a comic with an individual that I admired and respected as a fellow artist. And, with me not knowing how to respond, my main priority was to not make things any worse than they already were.

Below is the conversation in its entirety:

I had taken this screenshot on my phone after I had stepped away to compose myself. Blud had handled the confrontation and criticism with a reasonable amount of apprehension. But what had not occurred to me was that I could have said something that would remind her of past experiences with a roleplaying group.

It was something that had evidently scarred Blud for life.

I took away the wrong things from what she had told me, choosing to focus on the aspects of the "betrayal" that had appeared to bother her the most. And in hindsight, I did not see the correlation. I was genuinely apologetic that I had hurt her feelings.

But I *will* critique Blud for her poor handling of the situation. Whether or not I had hurt her feelings, no one is entitled to act like this or claim that this is what attempting to resolve a problem should look like.

I wasn't sure on how to initially respond to Blud. It had been ages since I'd had to deal with someone flying off the handle like that.

The following screenshots are where the conversation picked up, after she had already deleted the above message:

We had weathered the "storm" and after Blud calmed down, she was ready to communicate. There was a part of me that was genuinely sincere when I apologized to her. I did mean it when I said that I had no intentions of hurting her and that I hadn't considered how my statement would sound to her.

I had hoped that this had been a stress response due to factors outside of our collaboration. And especially when I took into account how she had interacted with me in the past. I knew that Blud had a lot going on IRL, and that she had already put a considerable amount of energy into this project.

I had taken her meltdown more personally than she could perceive that I would, because this was something that was acceptable to her. She had a "condition" that would absolve her of these abhorrent meltdowns and I needed to get used to them if we were going to continue working on that project together.

I was shaking the entire time we were typing in the chat.

I was sincere in my responses. I really did want to work things out with Blud and give her the benefit of the doubt. I could have been taking the things that she said too personally or maybe I had been reading too much into the situation. Was there a chance that I could have been misreading her outburst? I tried my best to keep an open mind though I was still somewhat baffled by the fact that she would have meltdowns as often as she did.

I confided in my husband and some other friends about the situation. They were also bewildered by Blud's actions.

By this point, I was struggling with the reality that this collaboration was most likely *not* going to work out but I still wanted to try. I still cared about Blud. We would still hang out together and talk about things like music, our characters, or our stories.

While I did have the foresight to go back and screenshot this section, I wasn't fast enough to get screenshots of everything else that I will be going over. Blud *did* admit to going back and deleting certain exchanges due to a mixture of shame; not wanting to look at them when she would scroll through our conversations.

In retrospect, it was very telling.

And even after that meltdown, I still enjoyed the friendship that I had with her. I kept my guard up but I was willing to make compromises on her behalf if it resulted in better communication between the two of us. Blud made me promise to immediately tell her if I had a problem with something. I also agreed to keep notes of our conversations.

It worked for the most part.

In the end though, it became apparent that Blud wasn't willing to do the same for me (even after we had an extended conversation about it). I then realized that I had been tasked with basically *managing* her autism for her. I was already busy with my supposedly "bad memory" at the time; and Blud was more than ready to scroll back up through our conversations to cherry-pick a line or two of text to remind me of what was said earlier.

Because, for her, circumstances couldn't ever change. If they did, it would mean that Blud had lost control of the situation and that she was in the wrong. She could *not* be in the wrong.

And if she was in the wrong? It would take solid evidence, three witnesses, and a court of law to prove it.

She had two other major meltdowns after this. I managed to step away from communicating with her through one of them and I don't remember the other meltdown lasting very long. She immediately deleted the texts of both of those instances before I could take screenshots of them.

It seemed like I could do nothing right when it came to Blud, no matter the lengths I would go to accommodate her. I knew that it was a common tactic used by abusers. I finally accepted that our partnership wasn't going to work out and I began thinking about an exit strategy. The final straw was when she began to expect me to be at her beck and call.

I had promised that I would be there for her, within reason, and I was willing to offer reassurances whenever she would ask me for them. The promise had been made back when we had first started to talk to one another with more frequency, before Blud had shown me her true colors. I would end up completely underestimating just how badly she would need reassurance.

To be frank, I underestimated a lot about Blud in the beginning.

I would end up mentioning that I enjoyed my space in several different conversations with her. That there was a chance that I might be offline for several days so I could take care of things IRL and recharge my social batteries. I'm somewhat of a recluse. And an adult who enjoys things that aren't online.

She said that it was fine.

I became incredibly anxious when I would talk to Blud, especially after her somewhat abrupt change in personality.

I then attempted to put my foot down about boundaries and this is what she had to say:

I decided to walk away for a bit and I came back after I had had some time to think things over. This wasn't healthy for either of us. I wrote a couple of sentences to say goodbye to Blud before I blocked her. I knew that my actions would probably infuriate her. She had told me in the past that she *hated* not being able to have the final word... which she was able to do through email:

“And I'm not letting you pretend you have control over the situation, or the high ground. You distinctly have neither. But since you're determined to stick to your 'principles' on this, I've decided to make it easier for you.”

She thought that she was absolved of all sins just because I had said that I would stand by her at her worst. And at the time that I said that, I had no idea that her worst would be her trying everything possible to protect her boundaries while stomping all over mine. It didn't matter what she said or how often she would apologize when I would confront her. She kept doing it.

I admit that I wasn't perfect in this situation either.

There were times when I was condescending, critical, or downright mean when I talked to Blud because that was the way I had felt when she was talking to me. I soon realized that it didn't matter either way. I could have been using the friendliest tone imaginable and she still would have perceived it as either mocking or dismissive on my end. There were even a few times where I would preface my explanations with an advisory “please know that I am not attacking you and try to read this in an understanding tone,”etc. I would then post an explanation I had spent hours picking at to ensure that there was no way she could misinterpret the intent. Even so, she still read the majority of what I said as criticism and would take it to heart.

I never expected Blud to do something that made her uncomfortable; nor did I expect her to overextend herself when it came to our project. I would go out of my way to make sure everything was fine when we would talk about it. I only expected mutual respect in return.

When we would get into discussions (arguments), she would never attempt to understand my point of view or let me explain myself. It would have made it about me when it should have been about Blud and her needs. She sometimes would agree to come to a compromise about something, but only if I would admit that I was in the wrong.

I know that if Blud was to look at these screenshots, she'd be incredulous that I'm trying to distract from the horrible things that *I* did. And those horrible things that I did? I tried my best to work with her.

It wasn't just her poor teamwork that bothered me. It was her attitude and the lack of respect that she showed me. She would never ask me to clarify something that I said; always assuming that it was a criticism against her. I can only speculate that Blud did not want to hear about how any of this was her fault, like in the email she sent me.

I don't know if I was actually her friend at any point. Friends make efforts to understand one another. Ideally, they’d want their friendships to continue, and they would want everyone to be getting along and having fun. She seemed to actively defy that.

I would argue that things like this don't just happen in a vacuum. There's almost always a reason for such things, but it's honestly a mystery to me as to where this vitriol comes from. I don't know why Blud sees monsters in every word, especially if they come from a "friend".

I've seen her viscously mock herself during meltdowns; it seems like she hates herself and expects everyone else to hate her too. I think that she wants it to be the truth, so that it validates the feelings she has about herself. The behavior patterns that I'd been exposed to are consistent with the idea that Blud is seeking confirmation about the personal assumptions she has about herself. It's what makes her so volatile to those around her. Yet, she refuses to break the cycle.

I hope that she can make that choice in the future but at this point, I'm not holding my breath.

#dogblud #it feels a bit dirty doing a call out post #but people need to know #she's gotten away with this for far too long #i generally tend to give people the benefit of a doubt #clearly too much #but you can only make up so many excuses before you begin to realize that #at the end of the day #people still have the ability to make a choice #“everyone always leaves me”#well maybe you should really consider what the common variable is #just sayin

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drdemonprince · 1 month

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I have Borderline personality disorder and deal with chronic suicidal ideation. up to 10% of us *will* die by suicide. not *might* or *are more likely to.* *will.* which is 50 times greater than the general populace. it's hard to talk about and even harder to deal with bc it's such a heavy topic. the best thing, I think, is to just listen to somebody who is suicidal. let them talk about it. don't offer solutions, none of that "you have so much to live for" shit. the best thing you can say is "I understand how you feel." yeah I might think about suicide every day, but that doesn't mean I'll just suddenly pop and kms. suicides are largely decided within half an hour, and even more are decided within minutes. help a suicidal person feel grounded, let them know that you respect their decision should they follow through. they know that it's not the only way.

Thank you for sharing your experiences, anon. I would caution you very strongly to not take psychiatry's profoundly flawed and biased statistics as a predictive declaration of your fate, however.

*Will* makes it sound unchangeable no matter a BPDer's circumstances -- and given that psychiatry already operates out of the stereotype that BPDers are "incurable" (and therefore not worth much effort in helping), it's subject to a ton of bias. statistically, we can't actually say that a person "will" die of something like suicide with any certainty, as it's not a simple progressive illness like a cancer or something. suicide risk is dynamic and influenced by a person's social support, relationship dynamics, financial situation, whether they're on medications that exacerbate or help things, their trauma recovery, all kinds of things that *are* mutable.

Psychologists and psychiatrist are taught downright cruel things about people with BPD -- i've been in those programs, i've heard things that have shocked me -- and it leads to profound isolation, internalized stigma, and sometimes unnecessary death. many providers give up on ya'll or make things worse for you when they have no right to do that, and they're taught that it's the most yall deserve. that's part of why the suicide risk for BPDers is so consistent.

A person ought to have the freedom to choose death and preventing all suicides is not a respectful goal. I am a harm reductionist and supporter of body autonomy to the maximum. my point here is that when psychiatry says you and people like you "will" die by suicide 10% of the time, what they mean is that that's the general trend they have observed, and they have decided that because of their (bigoted, hateful, scientifically unsupported) belief that yall can never feel better that it's a loss they are okay with accepting.

Anyone who has heard nothing but negative things about BPD I would strong recommend pick up a copy of the book Psychiatric Hegemony.

Sorry for the aside and the rant, but I really want to make that reality exactingly clear. Living with suicide ideation doesn't mean a person can't have a worthwhile life, or that their existence wasn't meaningful and important however long or short that it was.

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flibbetygibbetsbro · 4 months

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Kay so I already posted this a month or so ago, but I find it very applicable to the fandom rn

The lore in Nightfall is actually insane. You're telling me that hundreds of humans went missing, and when the Elvin Leadership did NOTHING the humans revolted so hard-core that ya'll really had to DISSAPERE from their knowledge? "But it was to keep the peace!"

Nuh uh.

If you REALLY wanted peace you would have actually looked into the disappearances. That would have been waaay easier to pull off than erasing hundreds of minds and flibbety-dippen SINKING an entire city into the ocean. Despite Elven egos, I think that the council got scared. That's right. The humans you call dumb and violent SCARED you into hiding. We ugly, weak, and untalented things decided enough was enough and you couldn't handle it.

What's extra crazy is the fact that the Elvin world has everything in their pockets OTHER THAN THE HUMANS. You're telling me that we idiots rule the Earth while you lock yourselves and others away?

An even crazier thing is that Elves view themselves above everything, even if they won't admit it at the get-go. Ogres really are pissed about it. They are CRAZY strong but also incredibly intelligent. The average elf understands nothing about Biochemistry (other than extreme exceptions such as Lady Candace) yet Ogres have things that can wipe out entire species and put Elves in endless comas. "But the Neverseen used the sedative so they understand it!"

Nuh uh.

They stole the research from the Ogre scientists. (Or made a deal with the king I honestly don't remember at this point). They NEVER would have pulled that off without them. And guess what? Ogres are a generally violent species as well but the Elves keep them around. (Albeit on a short leash).

The humans have a similar situation. Many times in the books a human story, invention, or belief is brought up only for someone to smugly say "They get that from us", or "he was inspired by ME". I believe there was also a scene where someone talks about how human "help" organizations were terminated because the information shared with them led to dangerous inventions. Don't you guys just love it when Elves claim credit for all good ever done by humans? But as soon as a nuclear power plant or bomb is mentioned (crazy complicated crap) it's suddenly the nasty humans and their dumb, violent minds. *insert eye-roll* Which is it? Are we smart or dumb? Are WE responsible or are YOU? Ya'll can't cherry-pick. Elves also pretend that they have control over humans, yet you can't stop an invention from destroying a Japanese City and ending a devastating war that killed more Jews than the average Elf could comprehend? If humans are so terrible, THEN WHY HAVEN’T YOU STOPPED US YET? WHY DIDN'T YOU KILL US WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE? oh that's right, you're too scared.

My final thought: The fact that HUMANS are what Vespera chose to "study". Why not Ogres or Trolls? Were humans the easier target, or was there some other reason? The fact of the matter is that Humans and Elves are more similar than either of us would like to admit. Ogre's minds are too different than an Elf's. Human minds are only different in the sense of how loud they are. In fact, that's arguably the most important difference between us. We humans are loud, we feel intensely and love like nothing Elves would understand. For we love for our short lives while they wander on for eternity. The only reason we can handle violence is because we have to fend for ourselves. Elves have protectors and little green people to do their dirty work. Humans have to live through thick and thin, slavery, war, loss, and heartbreak. When Elvin minds shatter, our minds find ways to make it through. Lose someone? We make up afterlife after afterlife and history shows different religions arising when the general public needs a way to work through their violent and tiring lives. But maybe we AREN’T so different. The characters presented as able to handle violence/are inclined to it either had to suffer violence and neglect, lived through endless years of times before the treaties and the council, or spent time with humans. Take Fitz as a prime example. Bro legit beat the shit out of Alvar and trapped him in goo to die. NOTHING IN THE BOOKS SHOWS FITZ FEELING ANY GUILT FOR THIS. Hm...seems like a very "human" thing to do.

The real reason Elves fear us is because we're just an untethered form of themselves with shorter life spans and a lot less to lose. We feel more deeply, more “violently”. As the books go on the Council itself is presented in a more kick-butt way as they finally step up to Vespera and the horrors she caused.

That sounds a lot like The Humans of Atlantice.

#my hopes are that this will be addressed in 9.5 #please send me asks and messages and stuff if you have more to add #id love to hear it #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc #kotlc fandom #keefe sencen #kotlc fitz #fitz vacker #kotlc vespera

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thetopichot · 2 months

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Ya'll we need to talk about some Yuuriboy scenes that make me FEEL things & bro it's too good NOT to be analyzed.

Oh yeah this gonna be a long post btw uhhh ya'll know what to dooo 👇

Ya'll already know we talking about Auron first especially the CAR SCENE & JUST ESCAPE IN GENERAL OMG. I don't care if people have like been talking this to death IT'S IMPORTANT TO ME THAT YOU KNOW THIS-

Anyway, Escape is one of my favorite solo series from the boys & especially that Shattered was hinted on Yuurivoice's Twitter that it might be coming along soon or at least that it's currently the works so we gotta talk about Escape again since it's story is definitely gonna play a part in there.

(Also forgive me it's been awhile since I analyze stuff & I'm not good at it either 😭)

Escape, besides Auron being like drained by Rook about like 4 times in a single night (Jesus this man's stamina is fucking crazy 😭), gives us a very nice deep dive into Auron's character & especially what literally breaks me is the goddamn ride home. It's literally Auron becoming more & more vulnerable. When you see the difference compared from the beginning of Escape to the literally the end of it, you see how vulnerable he becomes. What I also like about Auron is he doesn't go outta his way to completely change himself for us, The Listener. He's still a crime boss & he knows that he's done alot of shitty things. Not only that, he tells us about what he's done & full heartedly accepts the consequences that comes along with it.

"I'd hate it. I'd fucking hate it but I would understand." It's such a heart-breaking response to me because it's the fact that he loves us but for our own safety & if we're unable to handle that information, it could all just end there.

So when Rook sees him as more than that, it makes him feel appreciated & loved for what he's done for other people & what he had to do regardless of the consequences because as much as he's a asshole, he has this genuine need to help other people & doesn't care much about what he wants. However, it's literally so draining for him to do that which is something I lowkey relate to.

But, we don't want it to. In this car scene, we fully accept his flaws & you can hear the shakiness in his voice. Like he was about to burst into tears from just being loved & understood for what seems like the first time in a long while. It's literally so sweet but it's so bitter. He literally sees himself as like "I don't care what anyone thinks. I've done what I've done & there's no changing that but I wish there was."

Another scene of Escape that makes me feel things is the when Rook asked about Auron's scars. Not many people talk about it actually.

Auron doesn't really want to go deep dive into his past currently which we're all like "Oh, cool. That's okay :]" BUT WHEN HE SAID

"But, I don't want to. Do you want me to lie to you?" He said that so sadly like OMG IT'S OKAY- Anyway on a serious note, lying is something he doesn't enjoying doing. He's literally currently lying (possibly?) to Trish & Faust about this but like I said earlier, it's for their own safety. He doesn't want to bring any of his loved ones into things that he did & putting them at such a huge risk. Especially you.

(uhhh like for part 2 of scenes that make me cry)

#the cat speaks #yuurivoice #yuurivoice auron #auron yuurivoice #character analysis #analysis #this shit is ass #but it's all I got #anyway i love my pookie wookie chocolate chip bookie Auron yall #he will always be my roman empire that keeps me awake at night 🩷#(i have good sleep schedule don't worry)

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changbunnies · 5 months

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Crave, Final (18+)

♡ Pairing: Romantic Demon!Hyunjin x Plus Size Human Fem!Reader

♡ Genre: supernatural au, demon au, age gap relationship typical in monster fucker fics, some slight angst, more porn with plot <3

♡ Word Count: 5.1k

♡ Summary: "The more a thing is perfect, the more it feels pleasure and pain." - Dante Alighieri, The Divine Comedy. In which Hyunjin, a demon from the nine circles of hell, finds himself impossibly infatuated with the very human he once set upon himself to destroy.

♡ Warnings: this is the final part! please read the previous parts before this one <3 part 1, part 2, part 3, supernatural abilities, mentions of dying and going to hell (nothing bad happens to reader i promise), hyunjin feels a lot of guilt over being a liar and loving reader, hyun's demon side makes its full appearance!, brief mention of blood.

♡ Smut Warnings (contains spoilers): we are going full on demon / monster fucker in this part babyyy, pet names (my love, lovely, baby, gendered language such as "good girl"), dom/sub dynamics with switch vibes, some more biting and marking, improper use of a tail :) take that as you will :), oral (m receiving), size kink, dacryphilia, unprotected piv, creampie.

♡ Notes: i'm gonna be real with ya'll i worked so hard to get this out quickly cause a game i've been waiting for comes out this week and the internet is going to be dead to me while i play it fdfgdfgdf so if i'm a ghost for a while after this upload that's why!

♡ Disclaimer: please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately faceclaims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people.

Unsurprisingly, Hyunjin is first to awake despite having fallen asleep after you. Even without the exhausting pleasure gauntlet he subjected your body to, he would’ve woken first regardless; as a being who doesn’t require sleep, he doesn’t stay in that state for nearly as long as a human does. And even then it’s not a “true” sleep; it’s more like a meditative state, that surely did help give his mind and body rest, but was wholly unnecessary when it came to his ability to function.

Given that he’s already forced the state once tonight, it’d be almost impossible to do so again as it’s simply not in his biology to do so. And despite himself, he still wants to linger; so he closes his eyes again, and though sleep does not return to him, he stays that way- holding you close, listening to your deep, slow breaths, his fingers lazily and softly tracing over your skin.

The meditative state he’d been in for the last few, entirely too short hours did thankfully offer some much needed clarity to his racing mind. Hyunjin, grappling with the fact that he lost control of himself, carelessly (or maybe instinctively, unconsciously), bared his fangs to sink into your skin and mark you like a werewolf would his mate left him both ashamed and frightened for what would come next.

It’s far from Hyunjin’s proudest moment, and never before has he had to grapple with the possibility of losing something important to him. There’s part of him that still doesn’t even fully understand why you’re important to him. He’s a demon for fuck’s sake- demons don’t fall in love with humans, they manipulate humans to fall in love with them. They destroy human’s lives for fun, they take and ruin and feed until their prey is left with nothing, and then they move on to the next person.

And Hyunjin knew he was different from a standard demon, not just in physiology and intelligence but also in the way he approached life, but it still baffled him to realize just how different he truly was. He did the exact opposite of what other demons in the same position as him would have done; he could have charmed you for an easy fuck where you think you’re in love though he is a stranger and it would’ve been enough to satiate his need to have you.

He could’ve avoided spendings months getting to know you, he could’ve manipulated you to suit his whims from the moment he formally met you instead of spending all his time to foster a real connection. He could’ve lied through his teeth at every moment, and while he certainly did lie, it was only ever necessary lies; he never, not even once, lied about something he felt or thought. Every glimpse into his personality, ideals, likes and dislikes were all genuine, when instead he could’ve just given you thoughtless answers that he thought you’d want to hear, never injecting his real self into the dynamic.

But for reasons he couldn’t understand, he wanted you to love him- and not for some idealized man he crafted to meet your every need and preference, but to love him for who he actually is as a person. But.. he isn’t really a person, not in the way you are. Still, he followed that notion, and at every moment he was genuine; every look, every touch, every date and every gift- they were sincere admissions of a love he truly felt and wanted you to share, his proverbial heart being worn on his sleeve.

It reached a point where lying to you ate away at him, but he didn’t know what else he was supposed to do. In what reality did it make sense for him to confess that he’s a demon and for you to be okay with it? And his mistake has forced him to confront that difficult truth much sooner than he had hoped to, has given root to the fear of rejection, loss, and unrequited love- human emotions he never expected to feel, that he thought he was incapable of feeling in the first place.

All he can do is pray that when he tells you the truth about who he is, that you don’t turn away and rebuke him. And how ironic it is for him to pray for something- to want something so badly that all he can do is plead to the higher power he’s supposed to be against to grant him this selfish wish he doesn’t want to let go of. Hyunjin has come to understand in his time with you that the relationship between humans and demons is more complex and codependent on his end than he would’ve initially given credence to, but maybe all it took to spark that epiphany was meeting the right person.

And how foolish he is, to devote so much time and love to a being whose existence will only equate to a mere fraction of his own, who is fragile and weak and without lasting power. Maybe if he’s lucky, when you are met with mortality your soul will find him in his domain in the second circle, where your sins will go unjudged and unpunished for as long as Hyunjin remains at the top, where your eternity of “atonement” can be spent with him, where he’ll regard you as a queen of equal standing.

Dark fades to light with the rising of the sun, and still he keeps his eyes closed, as if preventing them from opening would also prevent the reality that is fast approaching from coming to pass. Eventually, when the sun is high in the sky and brightly illuminating your room through your open blinds, he feels you stir, cautiously opening his eyes to the sight of you trying to blink away the sleepy fatigue that still maintains a grip on your senses.

You offer him a soft, lazy smile as you wake further, clinging closer to him with a tight squeeze of your arms around his torso. How naturally you smile at him and hug him is both a soothing balm and cruel crutch that he knows will break the heart he isn’t even supposed to have when it is gone. Thankfully, in your sleep-addled state, you don’t recognize the looming dread that hangs over him, and he’s able to quickly shove it down to return your smile and plant a soft kiss to your face, reminding himself to enjoy his time with you while he still has it.

Pushing your hair out of your face as you wake up more, Hyunjin catches a glimpse at your neck, the speckled bruises and fading indents of his teeth becoming entirely visible. Well, all marks of his teeth were fading except for one- the two holes left behind from his fangs, the shameful evidence that he lost control of himself in a way he never had before. Broken skin doesn’t mend in just a single night’s sleep, and he knew the moment you touched your neck or looked in the mirror you would know they were there and you would look at the mark, at him, with either fear, confusion, or both as you try to comprehend how his bite would cause such a thing.

“How’d you sleep, lovely?” Hyunjin decides to ask so his mind doesn’t dwell and linger on your neck. “Good,” is all you say with a small, bashful smile, pink crawling over your features as you recall all Hyunjin did to and for you. Honestly, you can’t remember the last time you slept so deeply, and you don’t think you’ll ever forget that feeling of ultimate bliss as your eyes grew heavy and mind drifted off comfortably.

“You make me so happy,” you follow up, tilting your head up to capture his lips in a soft, good morning kiss. “Want to make you happy too,” you whisper against his lips before kissing them again, and his heart squeezes almost painfully in his chest because he feels it- lust, passion, desire, love. What starts as a small prick to his senses builds to an all encompassing tsunami the more you kiss him and entangle your limbs with his, love, love, I love you your soul radiates.

It’s all he’s ever wanted, all this time it’s what he’s been working towards and hoping for, and it shoots almost painful electricity throughout his every nerve ending- overwhelming, consuming, too radiant and bright and pure to belong to a man such as him, who isn’t really a “man” at all but an entity entirely undeserving of your grace. Selfish, desperate, shameful- he holds you as if he is none of those things, as if he doesn’t taint you just by loving you.

You push Hyunjin so he’s flat on his back, rolling yourself on top of him, your hair tickling his skin as it falls over his face when you kiss him. His grip on your hips is tight, almost painfully so, but you welcome it. He’s so fucking hungry for you, he craves you so, so bad, and you meet that hunger enthusiastically, your hands ghosting over his chest and down his stomach, making quick work of the shirt he slept in.

You suppose taking the lead comes naturally to you once shyness and subtle insecurity is dealt with, but you’d easily concede control to Hyunjin again should he have the desire to once again make you pliant beneath him. Your hips roll down onto his hardening cock, and the groan that escapes him makes your stomach flutter with countless butterflies. He nips at your bottom lip with his teeth, sometimes tugging before soothing the bites with soft licks of his tongue.

The rest of your clothes come off in a blur- your nightgown practically ripped off of you by Hyunjin while you fumble with the tied knot of his sweatpants, both of you panting into each other’s mouths, every noise being muffled and swallowed. Wrong, this is wrong, selfish, you’re wicked, deplorable, the back of Hyunjin’s mind screams at him in stark contrast to the way he desperately paws at you, lust and hunger casting a fog over his rationality.

But when he opens his eyes as you pull back for a breath, his eyes instinctively travel back to your neck, the mark he left on your skin expounding upon his building guilt. He has to tell you now- before the guilt eats away at him entirely, before he loses control of himself again, before he does something else he’ll regret. An almost guttural pained noise leaves his throat when you roll your lower body down on him again, fingers digging into the swell of your hips, his now bare cock becoming slick with your essence.

“Shit, fuck- wait, baby wait-” Hyunjin breathes out, the most ragged and strained you’ve ever heard his voice. He can feel your passion and desire become background to concern and doubt, can feel your anxiety spiking as you cease your movements. Fuck, he feels so bad- but you have to know he’s not what you think he is, he won’t forgive himself if he doesn’t tell you now. “Listen, I-” Hyunjin starts, then swallows, and your eyes swim with care as you see him struggle, “I- your neck, its..”

“Hyun, I wanted you to do it, don’t worry about that,” you tell him sweetly and softly, one of your hands grabbing his and rubbing soothing circles on it with your thumb. His heart squeezes once again, and he shakes his head, “That’s not it, I.. just feel it, or look at it, or..” You furrow your brows in confusion but do as he asks of you, trailing your fingers carefully over all the spots you knew he bit and sucked your skin.

You don’t feel much, at first- just a bit tender where you assume bruises have formed, some extremely faint indents of teeth, but as you get closer to the junction where your neck meets your shoulder, you feel it and your entire body freezes. What.. is that..? You scramble to grab your phone from the nightstand, turning on the camera and flipping its view to see yourself, blinking as you try to process what you’re seeing reflected in the viewfinder.

What the fuck? Slowly, in disbelief as your mind lags and struggles to compute with the reality of what you’ve seen, you lower your arm and let your phone fall from your hand. Are you dreaming? You feel like you’ve been transported to one of those YA vampire romances you read in college for fun- but that’s impossible, isn’t it? Things like that aren’t real, are they? There’s no way you’ve been dating a supernatural being for months.

Your next thought is that this is an ill-timed prank, though you can rationally tell it isn’t. And Hyunjin’s hand that is still in yours.. You can feel it tremble with uncertainty and apprehension, his eyes relaying a deep seated fear of rejection and.. Guilt? Guilt for what? Do you even want to know the answer to that question? You assume it’s related to whatever this is, whatever he is, but.. what is that, exactly?

Hesitantly, you ask him, wondering if this is really your teen fantasy Twilight moment- stark naked, sitting on the dick of a man who might not actually be “a man” at all. “You may not believe me if I tell you, but I can show you,” he says quietly whilst cautiously squeezing your hand. “O-Okay.. sure,” you breathe out nervously, squeezing his hand back in support. Maybe this is a mistake, but seeing the utter anxiety he’s struggling with, you can’t help but empathize.

If the roles were reversed, and you were an otherworldly being in a relationship with a human, would you be able to tell them? Wouldn’t you be scared of losing them if they knew the truth? And maybe you shouldn’t forgive him easily, regardless of what the truth ends up being, but you think you can understand what would drive him to keep such a deep secret. You’re still fucking scared of whatever it is, if you’re being honest, but you don’t want to believe that the Hyunjin you know is anything but the sweet, perfect, gentle boyfriend you’ve known him as thus far.

All you do is blink and instantly the Hyunjin before you is different, as if a veil that was covering your eyes has been lifted to reveal his truest self. His facial features and hair are the same, recognizably Hyunjin through and through, but his skin has changed from a natural, honeyed tone to a deep, scarlet red hue. His eyes, in turn, are no longer a dark, boba-like brown, but instead an unnatural crimson.

Long, pointed ears like an elf you’d see in a fantasy game or movie, horns the same color as his skin protruding from the top of his head, curving gently until they point straight up. You can just barely see the points of his fangs between his parted lips, can see bat-like wings struggling to fit beneath him on the bed, as well a long, slender tail with an upside down heart as its tip. And his body, which was already warm, now feels almost impossibly hot, as if he has a dangerous fever coursing through him, with his nails now more like claws in their length and pointed edge.

He’s.. still so beautiful..? You weren’t sure what kind of change you were expecting, and you still don’t entirely understand what he is, but he’s undeniably just as gorgeous now as when he was presenting himself as human. His form is reminiscent of the beauty found in the work of Gustave Doré, whose art Hyunjin had once praised and talked at length about; ethereal, otherworldly, mesmerizing-

Wait. Something clicks- the rumors of your apartment being haunted by a demonic entity before you moved in that you disregarded and didn’t believe in. The times you’d wake up from sleep and notice something had been moved, always slightly off from how you’d left it. The presence you’d sometimes feel despite being alone, the sensation of being watched that sometimes lingered, but always seemed to go away when Hyunjin was at your apartment. His extensive knowledge of art and history that feels as if he lived through the era rather than just having read about it, his fluency in latin that goes beyond mere college study..

You’re in love with a demon. And you suspect that he’s known you longer than you’ve known him. “I’m sorry, I never wanted to lie to you,” Hyunjin breathes nervously after he sees understanding flash in your eyes as you put the pieces of his identity together. “I just, I.. became so utterly, impossibly infatuated by you. But I couldn’t just.. show myself, even if I wanted to. And I- I wanted you to know me, because I love you more than I ever thought was possible for someone like me.”

It’s hard to say whether or not you’ve been manipulated and misled to trust him, but you do, even if you shouldn’t. And you’ll have to hope God will forgive you for the sacrilege you’re about to commit. Squeezing his hand in a display of acceptance, leaning down to kiss him once more in a display of love regardless of the truth you’ve been shown, dedication to an act entirely unholy. Though, if Hyunjin is what will be waiting for you in hell, maybe damning your soul there isn’t so bad.

You feel him positively melt with relief, soft apologies from him and acceptances from you rolling off the tongue. “Promise me this is the only lie, promise this is the only secret and I’ll forgive you,” you breathe and he affirms without hesitation, enduring promises of true love and honesty pouring from his lips. “We can even make it a pact if you want,” he says after a string of promises and you shake your head with a slight smile.

If what you’re led to believe from media is true, if Hyunjin made a pact with you in which his end of the deal is to never lie to you, he’d suffer grave consequences for breaking it. “I’m choosing to trust you without that, so don’t break it, okay?” Hyunjin nods with a smile before you’re kissing once more, his arms wrapping around you and hugging you tight to his impossibly hot skin.

When your tongue enters his mouth, you curiously explore the point and feel of his fangs, and when he nips at your lips, the sharp point very nearly draws blood with each bite, the subtle pain utterly intoxicating. It’s not long before your lips end up swollen and bitten red, your tongues continuing to swirl and move together, your hands fervent in their exploration and demand to feel.

Soon enough, he’s flipping your positions, your back now against the mattress with Hyunjin pushing himself between your legs, his mouth trailing gently over the marks he left the previous night. He sucks over the skin once more, deepening the bruises he’s already left behind, brightening them in color. It aches, and yet you tilt your head to the side to make his task easier, feeling him smile against your skin as his fangs poke at your sensitive skin.

He doesn’t bite down, not like he did last night- he doesn’t want to hurt you too much. Instead, his teeth scrape and taunt, the feeling of them enough to have you whining even without the bite. When he pulls away to look at you, your eyes are already pleasantly glazing over in a lustful haze, and seeing his fangs when he smiles confidently down at you makes you dizzy. He’s so fucking beautiful, sexy- it’s going to drive you crazy one of these days.

You jump slightly in surprise when you feel his tail slinking up your leg, wrapping around and hugging your thigh. And it’s when you look down to see how his tail looks wrapped around you that you finally catch a glimpse of his impossibly hard and leaking cock, so unlike anything you’ve ever seen before. It’s big- much bigger than you imagine a human could ever compare, and just as deep and supernaturally red as the rest of him.

You’re practically drooling at the sight, at the thought of having it in your mouth- would he taste the same as a human, or would his essence be entirely unique? Hyunjin has to hesitate from smirking when he sees you blatantly staring and curiously, hungrily licking your lips, the increased lust from seeing his cock spilling from you in droves. “You want a taste, lovely?” he asks with a charismatic, almost mischievous tilt of the head, his grin growing when you nod eagerly.

“C’mon then, love, ‘s all yours,” he says while uncurling his tail from around your thigh, standing up and letting you come meet him at the edge of the bed. You tentatively reach out to touch his cock, and fuck, it’s so heavy in your hands. Your hands look so small wrapped around him, your fingers unable to wrap entirely around his girth, and while usually both your hands are enough to cover the entire length of a cock up to its tip, Hyunjin still has much more than just the tip poking through.

Long, thick, big, you’re not sure how it’ll fit in your mouth, much less your pussy- but you’re not a quitter. You start with kisses that turn into kitten licks as you rub up and down his length with both hands, looking up at Hyunjin through your lashes, eager for a reaction, for praise. He brings a hand to the back of your head, waiting for you to open your mouth for him. He carefully guides and urges you to take more and more of him in, until the tip is touching the back of your throat.

It takes everything in you not to gag and choke, your eyes brimming with tears as you breathe through your nose. “That’s it, what a good girl, taking so much of me,” Hyunjin pets your head as he praises you, and he can see you pressing your thighs together, squirming and desperate to hear more. You want to take all of him in your mouth, but you recognize that’s an impossibility- so you settle for pumping what you can’t fit in your mouth with your hands, doing your best to match the pace of your hands with the bobbing of your head.

Hyunjin’s soft, breathy moans fuel you, his fingers tangling in your hair as he begins to take control of the rhythm. You let out a squeak of surprise when you feel his tail snake between your legs, gasping when you feel the tip of his tail teasing your clit. “‘S good? You like that?” Hyunjin asks when you moan around his cock, another smirk gracing his beautiful, perfect face when you quickly nod.

The combination of his cock down your throat and his tail rubbing your clit makes you dizzy, the pace of your hands faltering as your thighs twitch and tremble. Eventually, your hands drop to your lap, your nails digging into your palms as you let him play with your clit and use your mouth, tears falling as he holds your head while rolling his hips and making you take as much as you can handle.

Determined now to make you cum while his cock is deep in your throat, he moves one of his hands to your chest, tweaking and pulling at one of your nipples, earning a muffled whine as your eyes squeeze shut. Your hands, no longer curled into desperate fists, now cling to his thighs, your nails digging into his skin as you cry and whimper. Hyunjin is relentless on all fronts- from the pace he fucks your mouth, to the flicking of his tail against your clit, to the way he pinches and tugs on your nipples.

“Gonna cum just like this, aren’t you, lovely? Go ahead baby, let go and show me how good you feel.” With Hyunjin’s permission, and a few more quick flicks of his tail against your clit, you’re cumming with a loud, but muffled cry, your nails failing to break the skin of his thighs despite how harsh you claw at him. You suck in a deep breath when he pulls out of your mouth, your chest heaving as you come down from your high and air returns to your lungs. Hyunjin showers you in more praise as he wipes the tears away from your eyes with his thumbs, subsequently leaving a lingering trail of kisses to your cheeks where they streaked your skin.

He guides you to lay back down on the bed, planting sweet kisses to your lips once you’ve finished catching your breath. You can feel his cock, wet and still impossibly heavy, between your legs, and you want it in you now. “Hyun,” you start, a pout gracing your lips as you prepare yourself to shamelessly beg, “want you so bad, please, please, fuck me, I need it.”

You can feel his cock unceremoniously twitch at your pleas, a groan leaving his throat at your desperate tone. “You don’t have to beg, my love, I’ll give you anything you want,” Hyunjin says as he rubs his fingers between your folds, feeling how slick you’ve gotten for him. Truthfully, he should prep you more first, but you’re both so fucking needy for each other, and he’ll just have to hope that fingering you last night and making you cum again since then will be good enough.

He kisses you and lets you squeeze his hand as he pushes inside, the stretch so much more intense than anything you’ve ever felt, so full that your eyes are rolling back before he’s even thrusting his hips. It aches, it stings, but it’s also the most addictive pleasure you’ve ever experienced, and you want all he has to give you, more and more, until you can feel and think of nothing but him.

Hyunjin holds one of your legs, his tail once again wrapping around the thigh of the other, this time using it to keep you spread and open for him, allowing him to sink as deep as he possibly can. “Fuck, baby-” Hyunjin groans once he’s sheathed fully inside, your walls so wet and hot and squeezing him impossibly tight, “needed this, needed you so fucking bad, you have no idea.”

“You too, needed you too Hyun, so bad,” you mirror his sentiment between gaspy moans and shaky whines when he finally starts pulling out, pushing back in one swift and fluid motion, building a quick, desperate pace. Despite the desperation however, his pace is far from sloppy- every thrust is precise, leaving you arching your back as your cries grow in volume, your nails digging harshly into his forearms.

When he knows you can handle it, he fucks into your faster, capturing your mouth in messy, open kisses, your saliva mixing and pooling until it drips from the corners of your mouth. His grip on your thigh tightens, his fingers sure to leave bruises behind in their wake. Sweat drips from his brow, sometimes falling to your cheeks, and God, the sight is utterly mesmerizing- even as sweat drips down his face and sticks his hair to his forehead, he’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.

And again he feels it, the utter love and trust pouring forth from your soul, radiant and perhaps undeserving to be felt by him, but it exists all for him nonetheless. His head drops to your shoulder, every emotion that he feels spilling from you driving him further and further into bliss, his pleasured moans dancing in your ears. “Tell me, please, fuck, please tell me-” Hyunjin practically whines, his nails now digging into the meat of your thighs as he fucks you harder.

Tell him? Tell him what? Somehow, you think you know what he wants to hear, because it’s the very same thing that you want to hear too. “Love you, I love you, lov- fuck, love you so much,” you breathlessly spill the words between moans, and you hear Hyunjin keen, pleasure erupting from every nerve ending, the wave of love that you exude enough to drown him completely. “Lovely, my love, I love you, I’m gonna- fuck, ‘m gonna cum, tell me again,” Hyunjin pleads, desperate and urgent, his cock throbbing and twitching as he approaches his own high.

You do just as he asks, stuttering out endless “I love you”s until you’re both cumming hard, a blissful intensity that steals your breaths away and leaves your bodies shaking. His cum shoots inside you in long spurts, filling you to the brim, so much so that it spills out of you even with his cock still firmly pressed inside you. “Mine,” Hyunjin mutters as he kisses you, passionate and deep, no longer sloppy and desperate as it was in the throes of his orgasm, “my baby, just mine, aren’t you?”

“Just yours, all yours,” you say, and he knows you’re telling the truth, can feel it with every fiber of his being that you mean it sincerely. It was surreal, realizing the truth about your boyfriend and loving him regardless of who he is and how he truly appears, but you don’t think you regret it. He cleans you up diligently, he helps you get dressed and makes you breakfast, he showers you in kisses and endless praise just as he always does throughout the rest of your day.

Because even though he may appear different to you now, he’s still the same Hyunjin you met; the one who dotes on you endlessly, who takes care of you sweetly, who spends hours talking and cuddling and listening to every thought you have. Though you can’t explicitly read emotion the way he can, you always know what he’s thinking and feeling- because with you he’s transparent, with nothing to hide and only love and tenderness to give.

Maybe it’s wrong for a human and demon to be in love, but you like to think this is the happiness you were meant to have, that this is where you’re supposed to be- right by Hyunjin’s side, until your final breath and then in eternity, a love that transcends your human mortality. If there is one thing you are certain of, it is that spending forever with Hyunjin will bring you a love you’ll feel eternally- warm, gentle, and true.

hello, thanks for reading and i hope you enjoyed <3 i just want to clarify here at the end in case you felt any confusion or questions about demon anatomy while reading: hyunjin does have like, a physical heart that beats (he has to get his demon blood pumping through his body somehow!) but i imagine that demons don't have an "emotional" heart, because their heart doesn't react to thoughts, feelings, and emotions the ways ours does.

to help get this point across, in japanese they use 2 different words for "heart"- shinzou for the literal, physical, medical side of the heart: it's the word you'd use for saying things like "they had a heart attack", "i have heart disease", etc, while kokoro is for the emotional, feeling side: used in sentences like "my heart beats so fast when i look at him" or "wow that story really moved my heart"

so like. when hyunjin is saying things like "proverbial heart", that is what he's referring to- having an emotional reaction that he's under the impression he shouldn't be having. he is only just now realizing he has an emotional heart, and not just a physical one :') i hope that makes sense to you and i hope it wasn't confusing whilst reading gsdfgfd thanks again for reading <3

#skz x reader #hyunjin x reader #skz smut #hyunjin smut #skz scenarios #skz imagines #mdni + divider graphic credit: @cafekitsune #despite scolding myself last time i once again stayed up all night to finish this #its 7am.... bad habits die hard... good night...

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be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie · 3 months

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Avatar: The Last Airbender Live Action Thoughts!

-First of all, ya'll need to leave those child actors alone, they are babies and they didn't write the show, nor was it their idea to do it. I have seen way too many people body shaming children; leave them alone they all did well!

-I think Gordon makes Aang just as cute and small and powerful as I always saw him as!! He manages to joke around and be fun even when the storyline is a lot darker and more serious.

-I really wish Sokka was able to be more of his goofy and silly self. I understand why he isn't, and his humor is more sarcasm and dark jokes, but I saw glimpses of him in there! His excitement when he was with the Mechanist, engineering and getting to do something other than be in charge. Also when he has any older brother convo with Katara or Aang. I'm hopeful with time he'll be able to loosen up!

-(Speaking of the Mechanist, my boy Danny Pudi was SO GOOD, I love him, him and his little son).

-I wish Aang would practice waterbending with Katara :( those scenes of them practicing together were always some of my favorites in the series. Just beautiful kataang moments. I'm glad they addressed it but I missed those moments.

-I don't understand how you guys can't be having fun watching this, I get so excited waiting for little moments of lore, or when Jet and Katara were fighting in the forest I was sitting in front of the TV like "WHERE'S SMELLERBEE AND LONGSHOT. OH MY GOD NO IT'S PIPSQUEAK!" It's just so much fun! The colors are beautiful, the effects are gorgeous, and the plot and characters are entertaining. Think about the piece as it's own thing and enjoy it!

-Adaptations are just that; adaptations, and things will be changed! I think so far I haven't minded their changes, I understand why they've been made. There are things to criticize, but I think this is pretty well done.

-Zuko is fantastic; I think all the child actors are fairly good but Dallas' pissy attitude and the faces he makes are so so fun! I feel for Zuko and I'm scared of him when he shows up, and he's just as annoying and bratty as ponytail Zuko should be. His physical motions are fantastic!

-TEO WAS SO LITTLE?? Oh my god, like as a kid I thought the cartoon version of him was kinda hot so when they wheeled that tiny baby in I was HORRIFIED.

-Idk why YOU ALL weren't scared of Lizzy Yu's Azula, but her little smile in her intro scene gave me a lil chill. Maybe it's because I was away when the show first came out so I saw post after post about how bad she was, but I just.... Thought she'd be worse?? She did really well! Ya'll better be careful though or Gaten Matarazzo will come for you, that's his girl.

-So far the mushing of plots has made sense to me. Yes, I miss the silly filler episodes and the traveling the Gaang did, but it allows us to sit in a scene longer, and to colorize the world better, when we're in one place and one plot for longer. I think that's important for this type of medium and this amount of episodes. They might be able to justify more next season if this show does well enough.

-I am OBSESSED with Zuko and the 41st division oh my god, what a fantastic and well thought out addition. The reveal, and they're bowing for him when he comes back was DEVASTATING.

-They we're GIVING us Sokka and Katara best sibling moments, I loved all of them. They are so cute, they just mean so much to me.

-I don't feel Appa or Momo as characters like I did in the cartoon. I'm hoping this can change, because rn they surprise me every time they get on screen. I'm like "WHAT- oh it's Momo, he's here." How are we going to feel Appa's loss as much as we did in the cartoon if they continue to like barely be in it.

-Ken Leung SLAYED as Admiral Zhao, I watched him go literally insane as the episodes went on.

-Aang's imposter syndrome and feeling of failure being focused on I will always enjoy, even if I hope he can be silly next season too. His entire character arc this season just made me want to cry.

-Bro the coloring during the the Siege of the North was A M A Z I N G. The way the color faded in and out with fireballs and the monster koi passing nearby, just so pretty. It looked awesome.

-Making Yue a waterbender? The best. Her freezing Sokka in place so he can't stop her? Heartbreaking.

-Iroh and Zuko paddling off looking for bestie Lt. Jee?? Okay.

-They really grew this show up for us adults that watched it in 2005 and focused in on the really painful moments, themes, and details.

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cosmicjoke · 5 months

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Levi and the importance of staying true to ones heart:

I'm gonna' talk about another aspect of Levi's choice in Shinganshina, but first, I want to dedicate this post to all the little bitch eruri shippers out there who are too scared to come off anon, who now can't send me hate messages over it since I turned anon asks off and ya'll are a bunch of cowards. Hope you enjoy this one, because it's for you.

I was thinking about an ask I got a few days ago, about why Erwin chose Hange over Levi to take over as commander, and why in turn Hange chose Armin, and I answered that I thought it had a lot to do with Levi's own philosophy of "no regrets", that is, Levi's insistence on always following ones heart, doing what one feels is the right thing in any, given situation. Not necessarily right in terms of what the outcome will be, but right in terms of how your choice will sit with your conscience.

I think obviously, this aspect of Levi's character, his belief in always doing what your heart tells you to do, is evidenced by his choice in Shinganshina, to give Armin the serum and to let Erwin die.

Putting aside all arguments regarding whether it was the right thing to do "for humanity", I think what maybe people don't focus on enough when it comes to this moment is whether it was the right thing to do morally.

I've talked before about how Levi's choice was really an act of compassion over ideology, here: https://www.tumblr.com/cosmicjoke/737207612761915392/the-importance-of-compassion-over-ideology-levis?source=share And I think it's worth revisiting this aspect of his choice again.

I think people get so caught up in the concept of "the greater good" when discussing "Attack on Titan", and this moment in particular, that they miss one of the main overarching themes of the story, which is that the "greater good", particularly, things done in the name of the greater good, can actually lead to horrific atrocities and cruelty, and that the idea of the "greater good" itself is based in subjectivity, and never absolute. It isn't something we should ever prioritize over the tangible and concrete reality before us. That tangible and concrete reality being the things we can do to alleviate the suffering of others now, rather than hoping for and pursuing some idyllic utopian future where nobody ever has to suffer, and, ironically, causing people to suffer in the pursuit of that goal.

I talk a lot too about how I don't think Levi has ever held any great faith in the concept of a better world. I think Levi is a realist. Someone who understands and accepts the bleak reality of life on this planet, someone who accepts human nature, who knows that a utopian existence isn't really possible because of that reality, but who, despite that, still maintains a great depth of kindness and compassion toward others, still values life and the right of others to live.

His support of his comrades in the Survey Corps has more to do with his wish to fight for them, to support their own, personal dream of a better world, than it does his own belief in that better world. He thinks of Erwin as a "greater existence" than himself, to quote Isayama, because he believes Erwin is able to conceptualize and believe in a better world, to see that possibility, while Levi himself can't.

What Levi is fighting for is people, not a concept. That's always been true of Levi, I think. We see that manifest in multiple ways, multiple times throughout the story. In Levi's first appearance, when he holds that dying soldier's hand and promises him that his sacrifice will give Levi the strength to keep fighting. When he gives Petra's patch to that grieving soldier. When he goes out of his way to help the people of Trost. When he saves Ramzi, endangering their mission to rescue a single child. When he refuses to accept right away that Eren has gone rogue, to turn on him, because so many of his comrades died for him and Levi can't bear the thought of them having sacrificed their lives for nothing. And we see it manifest in his choice to let Erwin die. He prioritizes a person over a concept. And I think that fact emphasizes the great morality of Levi's choice, and ultimately, the rightness of it. Concepts are just that. They aren't real. They're ideas. But people are real. People exist. People matter.

Armin talks early on about the need to abandon ones humanity in order to achieve victory. Erwin's entire character revolves around this premise. He's seen as a great and visionary leader because of his ability to detach himself from human emotion and make tough decisions and sacrifices. Basically, for his ability to engage the concept of the ends justifying the means. Whatever it takes to "win".

But then, what does winning even mean, what does salvation for humanity mean, if in the pursuit of it, we lose our humanity?

Levi talks about being willing to take on the role of a "monster" if it means nobody else having to. He understands that, if people are forced to lose their humanity in pursuit of freedom, then freedom itself is rendered meaningless. There is no salvation for humanity if we ourselves lose sight of what it means to be human. Levi says he's willing to become a monster, that he's willing to lose his humanity, as long as no one else has to. He's willing to make that sacrifice.

But what Levi's choice in Shinganshina shows us is that he actually wasn't able to abandon his humanity at all. He never was a monster, and never actually could be. Because he couldn't, in the end, look upon the suffering of another human being, and ignore it.

That goes back to what I said about why Erwin chose Hange, and why Hange chose Armin. To be an effective leader, in order to achieve "victory" of some abstract goal, one has to be able to abandon their humanity. And Levi can't.

Levi is the most compassionate and empathetic character in AoT. And part of the reason for that is because of the inherent nature of that compassion. He isn't able to give up his humanity, he isn't able to lose it, because it's too much a part of him, too deeply rooted in who he actually is. It's the driving force behind everything he is and does. The beating, bleeding heart and soul of the Survey Corps. His presence, his role within the story, in many ways, functions as the moral compass by which both the audience and the other characters are guided.

Even in the face of violence, war, atrocity, and prejudice, even in pursuit of some concept of "the greater good", Levi can't bring himself to actual cruelty. Because that's what it would have been, to give Erwin the serum. It would have been an act of cruelty, against a man who didn't deserve it. And, again, if in the pursuit of a better tomorrow, we ourselves become cruel, pitiless, unempathetic, merciless, how can a better tomorrow actually be achieved? What salvation is there for humanity if, by the end, we have no humanity left in ourselves?

Erwin was able to abandon his humanity in pursuit of a personal dream, and we saw where it ultimately lead him. Into a state of such utter depression, and so wracked by guilt, that he became ineffectual, needing Levi to do the right thing for him. Erwin had strayed down a path that went against his heart.

That's something Levi was never able to do. Go against his heart. Go against what he felt was right. The only time we really see Levi do something that doesn't sit right with him is when he helps Hange to torture Sannes, under Erwin's orders and as a favor to Hange. Levi is noticeably less enthused about the whole affair than Hange, taking no actual pleasure in the exercise, even visibly distraught over Hange's level of cruelty. And still we see after how heavily that weighs on him. He completely forgets to inform Historia of the information they tortured Sannes for in the first place, and then explodes on her when she refuses out of self-pity to take on the role of queen, threatening to render the whole thing pointless. Do what your heart tells you, this is something Levi emphasizes to others again and again, which is what I mean when I say he acts as the moral compass of the story. Do the best you can, make the choice you won't regret. That doesn't mean the choice that will have the best outcome. That means the choice which will sit well with your conscience.

And I think in order to understand Levi's choice in Shinganshina, one needs to understand what sort of choice it was. Levi's choice, in its purist form, was a choice of the heart. It was a moral choice, decided upon through conscience, through the understanding, at an intrinsic level, what was right, rather than some ideological pursuit with an intangible endpoint.

He knew it was wrong to bring Erwin back into the world, and to put the same expectations on him to be the great leader he had been. He knew, in its way, that to do so would be to betray his own declaration, of taking on the role of a monster for himself so long as it spared anyone else from having to do the same. Erwin was corrupted by his dream. The threat of that corruption promised to make him into a monster. And Levi wasn't going to let that happen, just like he said. He wasn't going to allow Erwin to lose his humanity, even if it meant condemning himself.

Whether one wants to argue over Levi's choice being the right choice for humanity's salvation or not, what I don't think is up for discussion is that Levi's choice was, in the end, the right choice morally. And no, that doesn't mean Levi chose Erwin over humanity, or that he sacrificed humanity for Erwin because he loved him. It means he chose compassion over an idea. He chose humanity over a concept. He chose a person over an ideal. Because it was the choice that rejected the ideology and the dogmatism of "the greater good" in favor of something real, which was kindness and mercy for another human being. It was a rejection of cruelty and barbarism in pursuit of some evanescent and ultimately meaningless concept.

There is no greater good without morality. There is no salvation for humanity without mercy or compassion.

#Levi Ackerman #attack on titan #shingkei no kyojin #Erwin Smith #meta #commentary #analysis #suck my big fat one eruris #you bunch of pansy-ass cowards

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dragonwritersblog · 7 months

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Five Times Jax and Pomni Share Dreams of Their Past Lives (And One Time Where They Remember)

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1/2/3/4/5/6

Here we are, back with another chapter! Thank you so much for the support with this, it really means a lot to me. Especially those in the funnybunny discord server I joined, ya'll have been so welcoming and accepting when I joined so thank you so much.

Also, check out these art that people have made for my fic, I still can't believe people are drawing art of it thank you so much!

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Thank you all again and I hope you enjoy chapter 3!!!

3. Paper Rings

Jax stood with his arms crossed, and a frown printed on his face. Caine had called everyone for the last adventure of the day and Jax already wanted to be finished with it. Ever since his revelation earlier about how he felt about Pomni, his mind had turned into a storming whirlpool. He tried to think of anything else, pranks, centipedes, the existential dread that he was stuck here forever – it might be morbid but it was something at least -, kicking leftover gloinks, breaking Gangle’s comedy mask, Pomni-Pomni-Pomni-Pomni-Pomni…

“Thank you all for coming!” Caine’s abnormally loud voice from him from his daze, thankfully. “I understand that you’ve all been working hard all day with the adventures I’ve given you, but fear not, I have one more and you can all retire for the night!”

“Do we really have to?” Zooble muttered, “Can’t this wait till tomorrow? I’ve got better things to do.”

“I agree,” Gangle whispered, “I wanted to try and fix my comedy mask…again.”

“Don’t you worry Zooble and Gangle, you darling multi-shaped freaks!” Caine bellowed, “This adventure is only for two, so you don’t need to worry about joining anything. I just wanted to gather all of you to see them off before the most exhilarating voyage of a lifetime!”

“Well, whoever it is, I’m glad they’ve got this opportunity to do so,” Ragatha smiled, “It’ll be nice to hear about it when they finish it.”

“Even if it includes insects!” Kinger interjected, “That’s very important.”

“I mean, its just one more adventure,” Pomni shrugged, “I guess it wouldn’t hurt.”

Caine gasped dramatically, finally, their new little jester was starting to get the hang of it here. “That’s great to hear Pomni, for you and Jax are going to be paired up for this glorious crusade!”

Said jester and rabbit’s faces blanched, they were still barely processing their sudden dreams two nights in a row and still weren’t able to get today’s earlier events out of their heads! Not only that, the two were still trying to process their sudden budding feelings with one another, now Caine wanted them to pair up?! Could they not have five minutes of temporary sanity before being shoved into another bizarre situation?!

“Woah, woah, hold up there, dentures!” Jax stepped forward.

“I really don’t think-” Pomni was about to continue before Caine interrupted.

“Now, now you two!” Caine waved his finger, “No need to be so shy! By the end of this adventure, you two will be closer than ever! Just think of it as team building, especially for you Jax, I don’t think I’ve seen you be close with anyone other than-”

“Don’t,” Jax bit out, making the AI go silent. A small whimper was heard, everyone turned to look at Kinger, the chest piece was clutching his cloak tighter to himself, trying to look as small as possible.

“I…I believe we should continue on with the details of your adventure!” Caine spluttered, wanting to change the subject as quickly as he could, “After all, there’s no reason to think of the past! Since there’s no ‘past’ for any of you to go back to.”

Pomni’s eyes darted from Caine to Kinger and Jax, curiosity began to bite at her. What happened to make everyone react like that? While she was still learning about the past performers here, she still didn’t know everything. Was there someone that Jax genuinely liked here? Did they abstract like Kaufmo as well? She remembered her first day here, the first time seeing an abstraction. If she didn’t arrive would Kaufmo still be okay? He probably had a family before this realm as well, and now any chance of seeing them again was taken from him.

“Now about your adventure! Both Jax and Pomni have to venture through the winding maze! It will be grovelling, it will be exhausting, it will leave you both wondering when this madness will end! But hey, you will end up the best of buddies the time it’s over, you might even wish you’d have stayed!”

Pomni blinked her brainstorm away, she nearly forgot about the adventure!

“Good luck, and we’ll see you both in the morning!” Before Pomni could ask him what he meant, Caine snapped his fingers and the rest of the tent disappeared before her eyes.

The ground felt different underneath her feet, looking down she realized that she was standing on some sort of pixelated grass. She lifted her head to take in the rest of her surroundings, two tall hedges standing on each side of her.

“Well, this is fantastic,” a sarcastic voice drawled. Oh, right, she was stuck with Jax until this was over, “Thank you so much Caine, this is exactly what I wanted.”

“It’s fine, this is fine!” she didn’t know if she was saying this to both of them or just to herself, “It’s just a maze with long winding paths and tall bushes that you can’t see out of and hey what was that Caine said about this madness not ending!?” She was spiralling, she knew that, but in her defence…it was Pomni. “Oh god! How long are we gonna be in here until we find an exit?! What if we don’t find an exit?!”

“Easy, Pom-Pom,” Jax rolled his eyes, “Caine would lose his entertainment if he kept us in here, now come on, I wanna get out of here as soon as possible.” He started walking a few steps, only to pause when he realised that Pomni wasn’t beside him. He let out a groan when he saw that she was still stuck in the same spot, her red and blue eyes replaced with dark swirls that only appeared when she was too caught up in her mind. He went back over and tapped the back of his hand against her cheek, causing her to gasp and jump. “Come on, the last thing we need is you delaying us because you’re too busy panicking.”

Pomni scoffed, that was unnecessary, “It’s not like I can control my panic attacks, unlike you, you actually choose to be a jerk.”

Jax froze, a smirk curling on his lips. Now this was an interesting development, “Well, well. Looks like the new cat on the block finally found her claws.”

Pomni rolled her eyes, she forgot that Jax could be incredibly annoying, “Let’s just try and find an exit.”

“Whatever you say Pom-pom,” Jax’s smirk fell, returning to his prior grimace as the two continued down the maze.

Their suspicions were corrected when guessing that this maze would last more than a while, each corner they turned was a dead end, each path seemed to lead them back to where they started and when they looked back it seemed like the area where they just were had been blocked off. They didn’t know how long they had been walking, minutes, hours? All they knew was that their feet were aching and that they desperately wanted to leave. Jax was starting to lose his patience. If he were stuck here with anyone else he would have tried to run as far away from them as he could. But for some reason, he had some sort of soft spot for Pomni and he couldn’t stand it. It made things much more frustratingly difficult for him, such as not bearing to leave her behind.

It wasn’t until she tripped for the umpteenth time did he start to lose his patience, he picked her up by the back of her collar, holding her at eye level. He had to bite back a laugh, she really did look like a cat this way, a miserable wet one at that. “I don’t think Zooble has fallen over as much as you have,” he said, “At least he has a reason to be so clumsy.”

“Oh really? And what’s your reason for being such an @SShole?” she challenged him, crossing her arms over her chest, “Or were you just born that way?”

Jax let out a slow breath, dropping Pomni into her feet again, watching her stumble as she regained her balance, “You’re right, I don’t have a reason, as long as I’m watching funny things happen to others I don’t really care.”

“Well that’s definitely a sad way to live,” Pomni mumbled, taking a few steps ahead of him.

“Its better than looking for an exit that isn’t there,” Jax retorted, “I mean, its pretty sad when you think about it."

“At least I didn’t leave you with an abstraction,” Pomni quipped, “Thanks a lot for that! It was so much fun for my first day here. Not!”

“Oh you’re so welcome,” Jax gave her a shit-eating grin, “Always great for the newbie to be traumatized on her first day, it gives ya a great taste of what else is coming.”

Pomni glared at him, oh he was having too much fun with her, “You know Ragatha got really hurt because of you? You could’ve tried to help get Caine but you just ran off to who knows where. Then when I tried to help her my hand started glitching, we could have both died!”

“But you didn’t,” he replied, placing a hand on his hip, “This isn’t my first rodeo with something like this, you would’ve been fine.”

“That doesn’t mean I wasn’t freaked out by it!” Pomni grit her teeth, “Like you said, I’m new, how was I supposed to know that it was gonna be fine?!”

“Look just lay off it already?!” Jax fumed.

“Right, cause nearly getting devoured by a glitchy monstrosity is so easy to forget about,” Pomni walked past him. “God you’re such a pain.”

Jax grumbled under his breath, “What do you want, an apology? That’s not something I do sweetie.”

Pomni growled, whipping back round to face him, “Okay, what is with you?! You say you don’t have a reason to care, yet you defended me earlier today when Caine was yelling at me! What the h%ll was that about?!”

Jax inhaled deeply, now she was starting to get on his nerves, but he seemed to be doing the same to her so at least he had some sort of equal footing, “Like I said, I didn’t want Bubble to destroy the carnival, there’s no deeper meaning.”

“And I don’t believe you,” Pomni frowned, “Otherwise you wouldn’t react that way earlier when Caine was talking about you being close with someone.”

Jax flinched, he spoke in a low tone, “That’s deep water you’re treading there, sweetie. I’d recommend for you to stop while you’re ahead.” He shoved past her, ignoring her scoff.

“At least I’m trying to leave!” she stated, “If I can find a way to do that then I can help the others get out of here too! What have you done other than be a d*)k to everyone here?!”

“You really wanna know Pomni?!” he yelled, turning back and stomping over to her, “I have tried to get out! I’ve tried to collect every single key here and yet none of them has opened an exit! Do you know how it feels, to watch everyone else here slowly give up on finding a way out?! You haven’t been here as long as I have! You haven’t seen what I’ve seen! And it hurts to have everyone tell you that it’s pointless in trying to leave, trying to find a way back to a life you don’t remember! So yes, I’m awful and I shouldn’t act this way! I get it! You don’t think I hate it too?! But for some reason when I’m with you I just-!”

He froze, catching himself before he fell off the edge. Pomni’s eyes were wide and cautious, great, he was scaring her off. This should be a good thing, he wouldn’t have to deal with these stupid butterflies anymore, so why did he feel so upset about it? But instead of her yelling at him to leave her alone, all she said was, “I’m sorry that you went through that, but don’t ever speak to me like that again.” A tear fell from her eye, “And maybe it is pointless for me to find an exit like how you tried to as well, but I wanna go back to a world and see what it can offer me rather than live in a place surrounded by fear and void. Even if the life I had before was bad, at least I’ll know that I’m able to change it into something else…I feel sorry for you Jax, I really do.”

With that, she finally walked away, slowly enough for him to catch up but enough for her to leave some distance between them. He shouldn’t care, he doesn’t care, he won’t care. But, just looking at her, seeing the disappointment in her eyes. There was just no denying the raw heartache he felt after hearing those words from her. He really did fall for her, didn’t he? And he probably messed this up too, just like…no, he doesn’t need to think about that event, not anymore.

The next hour of walking was nothing but awkward filled silence. The whole time, the two just wanted to say something, anything to the other, but the words just couldn’t come to mind, and they were just getting too exhausted to keep going. Though there was no indication of night and day here, the way that their eyes kept drooping and the struggle to keep going was starting to overcome their senses.

“We-um,” Pomni stuttered, Jax’s heart fluttered a bit, was he happy at the fact that she finally said something? “We should probably try and get some sleep. It isn’t a good idea to keep going like this.”

“Yeah, we…we should,” Jax nodded, “It’ll stop you from constantly tripping over your feet, eh?” He meant for it to be a joke, but she didn’t react other than a simple hum, he could understand why though.

They walked over to one of the hedges, sitting and leaning against the back of it. It wasn’t the best bed but there wasn’t anything else that they could do. Pomni shuffled away from him, to give Jax some room. “Well, night,” she said softly.

“It’s not able to be night here,” Jax spoke, “But I get what you mean.”

Like that, they turned away from each other, shutting their eyes. Neither of them aware that they were wondering what their dream would be about tonight.

The coffee table in Amber’s living room was scattered with treats. From the remains of gingerbread men and houses to chocolate chip and sugar cookies, even some sweet mince pies, two mugs of hot chocolate and a can of whipped cream on the side. It definitely wasn’t a healthy breakfast, but this sugary calamity was something special Penny liked to share with her mother since she started homeschooling. When things started to turn around for her, Amber made sure that every single aspect of her life was, while not perfect, something for Penny to look forward to. And thus, dessert for breakfast on Christmas morning was born.

Amber and Penny were lazing on the couch, the TV in front of them playing ‘The Grinch’ while the two stuffed themselves to their hearts content. Amber had squirted some whipped cream into her mouth before automatically doing the same with Penny, not even taking her eyes off the TV to know that her daughter had opened her mouth for some. After placing the can back onto the table, she and Penny leaned back into the cushions, with Amber wrapping her arms around her youngest daughter and holding her close. “I feel like at some point we’re going to become the couch if we keep doing this each year,” Penny giggled.

“Honey, we already have,” Amber smiled, pressing a kiss to Penny’s hair, “We are couch people and always will be couch people. I still can’t believe you used to be scared of this movie when you were a kid.”

“That was until I discovered the magic that was Jim Carrey’s comedic line delivery,” Penny replied, “The man’s a legend.”

“He really is, and you will be too my little costuming star!” Amber nuzzled her daughter’s nose with her nose, laughing at Penny’s groans.

“Mom!” Penny buried her head into Amber’s shoulder, “Stop!” She didn’t mean it and Amber knew that.

“I can’t help it if my daughter is amazingly talented,” Amber grinned, loosening up a bit as she peered down to look at Penny’s face. “You know, you seem a little different after that date with Jack at the Christmas fair.”

“I-what-mom!” Penny spluttered, her face as red as a tomato, “It was not a date!”

“Mmhmm,” Amber was not convinced in the slightest, “Baby, I’m old enough and wise enough to realise what a date looks like.”

“Mom…you, wise?” Penny stated.

“Ah, ah, I’m not finished,” Amber waved a finger in front of her face, “Trust me when I say this, I’ve been watching your sister fall in love with Winter and I’ve seen how they act around each other. You know when they first met it was over carrot cake?”

“Yeah, I’ve heard this story before,” Penny smiled, “There were having lunch at work and Winter got carrot cake because it was her favourite while Riley hated it.”

“And the two debated the whole day about cake flavours that they ended up becoming friends,” Amber continued, “And every time they saw each other Riley always brought Winter carrot cake.”

“What does this have to do with Jack?” Penny asked.

“I’ve seen the way Riley looks at Winter,” Amber told her, “She looks at her as though if she was the only thing that matters in the world. She could be surrounded by all the treasures in the world but she would still choose Winter. I saw how that boy looked at you before he left, in a room full of riches he would choose you.”

Penny blushed, thinking back to Jack kissing her cheek. The way he looked at her back then, it filled her stomach with butterflies and her heart thump hard. She never felt this way about anyone before, but the way he would smile at her, send her winks and always make her feel safe, it was hard not to fall for him. The only question was, did he feel the same way back? Sure he kissed her back but that was only on the forehead, what if it was a friendly kiss? What if she makes him feel awkward once she tells him how she feels? What if he wants nothing to do with her anymore?

“Penny, hey, it’s okay,” Amber pushed her daughter’s hair away from her eyes, taking her cheeks into her hands, “I can hear the cogs in your brain turning, but trust me when I say this, your dad has never looked at me the way Jack looks at you.”

Penny bit her lip, she knew that though her mother loved David in the past, he had hurt and betrayed her in many ways too. It was why they had these sugary breakfasts for Christmas, little things like that as a way for Amber to show how sorry she was for what David did to them. If there was a way Penny could show her that she wasn’t at fault, that she forgave her for everything that happened, that it was David who should be at fault for always gaslighting and manipulating Amber into thinking he was still the same man she married, but he was nothing of the sort.

“Mom,” Penny snuggled further into her mother, providing her with the comfort she needed.

“It’s okay baby, I’ve made my peace with it,” Amber held her tighter, “My only regret is that I didn’t realise he was this way before we were married. He gave me false hope and promises, love-bombed me until I could only see the world in rose tinted glasses and by the time I could finally get them off, he got you into that car crash. Jack isn’t like that. I’ve met him a few times while Winter and Riley were dating, and while he didn’t fully introduce himself, Winter’s mom always spoke about him. What I know of him is that while he’s scared and has been hurt many times before, unlike David, he wants to get better not just for his family, but for himself too. That’s more than David has ever done for me or for us.”

“Hey,” Penny turned her head to look up at her mother, “David fucked us all up. And yes, I’m still really scared with giving others a chance, but you’re one of the reasons why I’m able to get help. You were there for me every single step of my recovery and made sure that I was safe and happy. Parenting is a two-person job and not only did you have to do most of it on your own, but you also had two kids under your belt and raised us no matter what was thrown at you. Even if you didn’t leave David before the crash, you helped shield Riley and I as much as you could so that we had a good childhood. Don’t let your shitty ex-husband make you blame yourself for being a great mom.”

“Oh, babygirl, how did I get so lucky with you and your sister,” Amber pressed kisses over Penny’s face, her daughter’s nose scrunching up as she giggled. Her mother pulled away, smiling at her again.

“And you really think that…that Jack sees me like how you said?” Penny mumbled.

Amber gave her a look, her brow was raised and mouth was agape, “Honey, the guy wanted to wait for the perfect moment to ask for your number and kissed your forehead under the moonlight, the man is wrapped around your finger and you don’t even know it.” Penny blushed, ducking slightly under the blanket she was in. “Pen, I’d say go for it, only if you want to. You seem so much more yourself around him. But if he breaks your heart, I’m sending Riley after him.”

Penny burst out laughing at that, “Riley would send him to an early grave!”

“I know,” Amber stated matter-of-factly, “And I won’t hesitate to let her do it.”

“Mom no!” Penny snorted, “And you wonder where Riley gets these tendencies from.”

“Good,” Amber grinned, “That means I taught her well.”

Amber couldn’t help but join in on the laughter, just hearing her daughter laugh was enough to help her forget that she had even mentioned or thought about David. Penny was just that important to her. If anything happened to her…no, this was a good moment, there was so reason to think about the inevitable.

Penny’s phone dinged from the coffee table, sobering up from her laugh session, she leaned over to see what notification she got. What she saw made her gasp and nearly drop her phone.

“Winter proposed to Riley!” She squealed to Amber, the older woman immediately leaning over to check the recent news, “And she said yes!”

“Oh my god!” Amber screamed with joy, shaking Penny by the shoulders, “My daughter is getting married, I’m so happy!”

“Mom I know you’re excited too but I’m gonna be sick!” Penny warbled, starting to get dizzy.

“I’m sorry baby but it’s just, aaaahhhhh!” Amber got up from the couch, “I’m just so happy for her! Wait here, I’m gonna get my phone and message your sister!”

Penny giggled at her mother’s antics as she ran out the room, turning away to look at the image on her phone again. Riley and Winter’s faces weren’t in the picture, but what she did see was the Winter was behind the camera, holding Riley’s hand as she showed off her new engagement ring. This was without a doubt going to be an interesting Christmas dinner.

Jack straightened up his tie again, before unfolding it and retying it again as he stared at himself in the mirror. This was the first time he and Penny were having their families together for dinner, and after the kiss from the Christmas fair, he wanted to follow up on that. Penny had taken over his mind and senses to the point that he had to see her in person again.

Winter and her 8-year-old sister Nina stood at the corner watching him, with Nina’s twin Alex still upstairs getting ready. “What’s the retying count at now Nina?” Winter asked.

“49, wait, it just got up to 50,” Nina told her.

Winter whistled cooly, “Jeez, that’s a new record.”

“I can hear you both you know!” Jack called to them, “You guys wanna keep standing there or do I need to give Nina’s new toys to the bogeyman.”

“No!” Nina cried, running away back up to her room to check if her new Christmas presents were still intact.

“You don’t need to keep worrying,” Winter walked up to him, shoving his hands away and took his tie into her own, “You were blushing like a tomato after kissing that girl and she was just the same. Just play your cards right, take it slow and things will work out.” She wrapped the tie into a knot.

“That’s easy for the recently engaged lesbian to say,” Jack pointed out, “Which by the way, congratulations again.”

“Thank you,” Winter grinned.

“I just…I’ve never felt this way about anyone before,” Jack sighed, “I never thought I deserved someone who could make me this happy. Every time she walks into a room I forget how to breath. I can’t mess this up.”

Winter stopped her hands for a moment, “The only way you’re gonna mess things up is if you let those thoughts win. You’ve been doing great and you told each other what happened when you both were kids and she still wants to see you. Just take a breath, let me fix your tie and just let the night lead itself. I didn’t have much of a plan for proposing to Riley other than doing it on Christmas and she still agreed to marry me. Plans are overrated…sometimes, you know what I mean.”

“Yeah,” Jack nodded, “I do.” He took a breath as Winter finally finished his tie, checking himself out in the mirror. He flashed himself a grin, “Still as handsome as always.”

“And he’s back,” Winter rolled her eyes.

“Ooooh!” Both Jack and Winter turned to the sound of teasing voices, looking up to the stairs and seeing Nina and Alex with mischievous grins on their faces while chanting, “Jack has a girlfriend! Jack has a girlfriend!”

“Jack is gonna give all your gifts to the bogeyman!” He retorted, making the two scream and rush downstairs into the living room.

Meanwhile, Riley was busy helping carry the plates and cutlery to the table making sure everything was carefully placed on the Christmas-snowflake themed tablemats. Winter’s mother, Laura, came in carrying a hot plate of steamed vegetables, focusing on her attention on the food to make sure it wouldn’t fall before Riley came over to take it from her. “Here, Mrs Alvarez,” she said, “Let me.”

“Oh Riley there’s no need,” Laura patted her back, “I just wanted you to relax with Winter, let me and Marcus manage it.”

“I’m going to become part of your family soon. Please, allow me,” Riley persisted, placing down the pot near the centre of the table.

“Oh you’re a good girl Riley,” Laura took Riley’s hand into hers, “It’s no wonder Winter fell in love with you.”

“Mama!” Winter flushed, entering the dining room with Jack hot on her heels, “Please save the embarrassing stuff for the wedding!”

“No Laura continue,” Jack grinned, “This is karma for teasing me about Penny.”

“Oh, Penny Reed?” Winter’s father Marcus entered the dining room, his smile wide and his eyes crinkling with joy. “Winter told me so much about your date with her at the fair. Tell me more about her!”

Shit Jack cursed internally, with Winter sending him a smug look. “Well, I-”

“Yes, do go on,” Riley’s firm voice chided him, almost threatening him to not slip up. “Tell us more about my sister Jack.”

And now he had to tread carefully, especially talking about the younger sister of a 6-foot redhead with the experience of breaking the bones of criminals and throwing people over her shoulder. Please let whatever luck he had be on his side during this moment. “W-well she’s kind, funny,” He gulped as Riley squinted at him, he really didn’t want to die tonight, “And she one of the best people I’ve ever met in my entire life…whenever I’m with her, she makes me the happiest I’ve ever been. I just hope that I’m making her happy too.”

Riley softened a bit, did that mean she approved of his answer or thinking of plans ranging from A to Z to murder him?! This woman terrified him to no end!

“Well, she must be pretty special if you think that of her,” Laura beamed, “I can’t wait to officially meet my other daughter-in-law! Now if you excuse me, I need to get the pork out of the oven.”

“Hang on, I’ll help!” Marcus called after his wife as he trailed after her.

That was when the doorbell rang, light and quick on his feet, Jack bounded for the door. He straightened his jacket and tie one more time, cleared his throat rolled back his shoulder, he could do this. With a turn of the knob, the door swung open, revealing Penny glowing under the moonlight. Suddenly, his voice was cut in his throat and his palms were sweating despite the chill rolling in from the open door. The only word he managed to say was, “Hi.”

“Hi,” she shyly replied, her hands tightening on a small gift bag she brought.

He shook his head quickly, letting himself reboot as he turned to Amber, her smirk held nothing but the knowledge of a woman who knew all too well about what the two felt for one another. “Amber,” he greeted, holding out his hand for her to shake, “It’s good to see you again.”

“And you Jack,” Amber returned the handshake, letting him lead her and Penny into the house before shutting the door behind them. “I see you’ve cleaned up well.” It was a normal sentence, but her words told a totally different story.

Oh, she knew, she really knew! He was an open book and Amber had flicked through every single page. “I-I always dress this nice for Christmas, ma’am,” he stammered, “It wouldn’t be formal of me to not look this good for the holidays.”

Amber hummed, sure she believed what he said, but what Jack failed to realise was that Amber noticed his suit was the colour blue – Penny’s favourite colour.

“Hey mom,” Riley made a beeline to her mother, wrapping her arms around her, “I hope walking here wasn’t too bad with the snow,”

“Don’t worry baby, it was fine,” Amber pressed a kiss to her hair before pulling back, “But enough about me, let me see the ring!”

Riley blushed, unable to hide the giddy smile as she held up her hand.

“Oh my god, Riley!” Penny squealed, hugging her older sister. “Winter got you a good one! I’m so happy for you!”

“I know,” Riley laughed, “I’m the luckiest woman in the world.”

“Actually, that would be me,” Winter slid her arms around fiancé’s waist from behind, resting her head on her shoulder, “I’m the one who’s marrying this beautiful woman.”

“Flattery already?” Riley pressed her cheek against Winter’s, “And the marriage hasn’t even begun.”

“Am I not allowed to compliment my soon-to-be-wife?” Winter kissed Riley’s cheek, “Besides, that’s only 20% of my flattery, I’m saving the other 80% for my vows.”

“Dear god,” Riley slapped her palm against her forehead, knowing Winter, she was going to leave Riley as red as a tomato.

Penny stifled a laugh, Jack screamed internally at the sound. How can anyone be this fucking cute?!

“Penny!” Laura came rushing down the hall, her apron stained with some type of sauce, “I’m so happy we can finally meet.”

She opened her arms, ready to bring Penny in for a hug, only for the girl to freeze and back away. Laura faltered, her brows furrowing with concern at Penny’s startled reaction. Winter was quick to step in.

“Mama, remember,” she told her, “Penny is funny with being touched unless it’s by someone she fully knows and trusts or she’s the one going first.”

“Oh goodness,” Laura gasped, “Penny sweetie I’m so sorry I genuinely forgot!”

“It’s fine, really it’s fine,” Penny reassured her, stepping forward, “Honestly I’m able to tell when it’s a simple mistake.”

Jack’s stomach churned, all those years of bullying and her father berating her made Penny so frightened. He just wanted to shield her from everything bad so that she would never have to feel that sort of fear and pain ever again. Out of anyone in this room, he could relate to that type of fear.

“I’ll make sure to let the others know, I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable during your first meal here,” Laura informed her.

“Thank you Mrs Alvarez,” Penny smiled, “I really appreciate it.”

“It’s absolutely no problem honey,” Laura emphasized, “Now I’ve gotta get the rest of these plates out, please, make yourselves at home.” With that, she turned to walk back into the kitchen.

“Here, let me take your coats,” Jack offered, holding his arm out.

“What a gentleman!” Amber gave Penny a look, making the girl glare at her mother, “Penny you better snatch him up before anyone else does.”

“Mom!” Penny hissed. Jack was fairly sure his face resembled the red lights flashing on the Christmas tree.

“Mom, why don’t you and Penny just wait in the living room please!” Riley exasperated, desperate for her mother to not spout out whatever she had in mind.

Amber put her hands up in surrender, “Alright, I yield.”

“Don’t worry Amber,” Winter took the woman’s arm into hers and led her into the living room, “She’s been like that with me whenever I point them out as well.”

“Honestly Winter, what it your fiancé like?” she joked, leaving Riley gaping behind them.

“I heard that!” Riley hollered, chasing after them, leaving Jack and Penny alone in the hallway together.

Jack took this moment to take in the garment she was wearing. It was a simple crimson dress with a floor length pleated skirt, long off-the-shoulder bell sleeves and a ruffled neckline. “You look…wow,” he breathed, how was she able to take something so simple and still look so stunning? She truly was remarkable.

“Thanks,” she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, “I wasn’t gonna wear it but I thought that it would be nice for this evening.”

“You’re so beautiful,” he knew what he said, and he wasn’t going to take it back, not when she peered up at him through her long lashes with a gasp.

“Y-you’re ridiculous,” she uttered, handing him her jacket.

“Hey, just telling the truth here,” he replied as he went to hang up her jacket on the wall, “Besides, someone’s gotta point out how pretty you are.”

“Keep the chivalry to yourself sir,” Penny placed a hand on her hip.

“Can’t help it, I’m dreamy,” he was unable to keep the grin off his face at her pout. His face softened, holding out his arm, “Shall we?”

Penny raised a brow at him, grinning. “Mr Jack how thoughtful of you.”

“Well I have to put the wellbeing of our guests first,” He joked back, “Let me introduce you to everyone else.”

Penny nodded and slipped her arm into his, the two unable to fight of the chortles at their current predicament. He led her into the living room, Amber was already sitting down talking to Riley and Winter. On the sofa across from them was another couple around Marcus and Laura’s age. “Penny, this is Winter’s aunt and uncle, Anya and Winston.” he introduced. She gave them a nod before Jack led her to another young woman around her age. “This is their daughter Kiara.”

“It’s really nice to meet you Penny,” Kiara greeted.

“It’s nice to meet you too,” Penny returned.

Winston spoke up, “Laura’s been talking nonstop about ‘Jack’s new sweetheart,’ so it’s nice to finally meet the lovely lady in person.”

“Of course Laura’s been talking about us,” Jack groaned, Penny had to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing.

“She’s so pretty Jack!” Anya gushed from her seat, “Where did you find this lovely girl?”

Both of them paled, sharing a look. The story about how they met was always going to be an awkward one, wasn’t it? They were saved by the sound of thundering feet descending down the stairs as Nina and Alex came bounding over to Jack and clutched each of his leg.

“Jack!” Nina cheered, “Penny’s here!”

“Yes, I can see that-ah-guys let go!” He stumbled over his feet and words, how much sugar did these two have earlier?

“Jack has a girlfriend! Jack has a girlfriend!” Alex chanted.

Penny and Jack spluttered over their words, at a loss of what they heard. “We’re not-” Penny gasped.

“It’s not like that-!” Jack objected “We’re just-”

“-Friends!” They chorused. Friends yes, that was what they were, but it just didn’t sound like something they wanted to continue being. They were unable to keep the daydreams of each other away anymore, to constantly wonder what the other was doing, what other hobbies they might have, if the other felt the same way.

“Nina, Alex!” Laura came back through again, the apron gone as she took each twin’s arm in her hands and pulled them off Jack, much to his relief. “That’s enough harassing Jack, dinner is ready.”

“I can’t wait to see what you’ve made this year Laura,” Winston clapped his hands together.

“I’ve gotta say I’m pretty excited to eat what you’ve made as well,” Amber got up, “As well as the table gossip as well.” She gestured to Jack and Penny.

“Oh Amber you must sit next to me, I have so much to share,” Laura not-so-subtly gestured to Jack and Penny.

Both mothers grinned, leaving Jack and Penny flustered messes unable to move from their spots.

“I’m so sorry about that,” Jack unlinked his arm, immediately missing Penny’s warmth.

“No, I should be sorry,” Penny objected, “My mom can be a lot sometimes.”

“Well I guess that’s just another thing we have in common,” Jack nervously rubbed the back of his neck.

“Yeah, I think so,” Penny’s embarrassment began to slip away, Jack’s seemingly doing so as well.

“Penny!” Riley interjected, taking her sister’s hand, “Sit next to me!”

“But I-woah!” Riley dragged her younger sister into the dining room, plopping her down to the seat on Riley’s left while Winter sat on Riley’s right. Guess she was still a bit protective.

“What are you waiting for over there dude? Come on!” Winter waved a hand over.

Jack let out a slow breath as he walked over, sitting opposite from Penny. At least it would be easier to talk to her face to face without twisting his head. Soon, everyone was loading pork, bread and steamed vegetables onto their plates, Kiara was taking photos of her food with Anya scolding her to put her phone away, Winston was already scooping up spoonful’s into his mouth, Nina and Alex grimaced at the greens on their plates and asking when dessert was, Laura was pouring wine into her and Amber’s glasses before clinking them together, Marcus was listing off each shop he had to visit just to make sure he got every right ingredient for tonight’s meal, Winter and Riley were holding hands and had all their focus on each other instead of the food in front of them, and Penny and Jack kept trading small glances while eating, their eyes holding their own conversation as the drowned everyone else out.

“So Jack,” Anya piped up, “Do you have any plans once you graduate?”

“Uh, what?” he barely registered the question until it finally caught up to him. “Oh, right! Um, I’m trying to apply for an internship at this game company called C&A, they hire a lot of indie and free-lancing creators and help promote their games so I’m hoping to get a place there.”

“I think you’ll get it,” Penny said, “I’ve seen some of the stuff Jack worked on, he’s really talented.”

“And so are you little lady,” he said that mostly to see her cute pout again, “Laura, did you know that Penny is a costume designer?”

“I did,” Laura nodded, “And I’ve seen some of the pictures of her creations that you showed me, Penny you really do have a talent.”

“She’s been designing ever since she was six,” Riley said, “I have no idea where she gets her ideas from, it’s incredible.”

“It meets the bar at least,” Penny objected, “Trust me there’s people in my class that are way better than I am.”

“Don’t sell yourself short Pen, every time you send me a picture of something you’ve made It just shows how creative you are. Someone’s gonna reach out to you one day and say ‘Penny, you are one of the most talented people in the world and I wanna hire you!’ it’ll happen one day, I swear on it, after all I’m never wrong,” Jack said, pointing his fork at her.

“You? Never wrong?” Penny said doubtingly.

“What? I’ll have you know I’m very smart,” he frowned mockingly.

“I’m gonna have to agree with my sister there,” Riley said.

“Oh come on!” Jack cried and turned to Winter, “A little help here?”

“Why, everything they said is true,” she chortled.

Jack moaned as the rest of the table laughed, clearly taking pride in his misery.

Penny’s giggles died down, wiping a tear of mirth from her eye as she faced him again, “Well hopefully someone will take pity on my designs one day.”

“You mean someone will see how exceptional you are,” Jack pointed out.

“Awfully generous but sure, we’ll stick with that,” Penny rolled her eyes fondly.

“Let’s just hope he says what he means instead of talking out of his ass,” Riley quipped.

Penny threw her sister a look, “Riley,”

“What?” Riley shrugged her shoulder, “I’m not saying he’s wrong.”

Amber raised a brow at her daughter. It was a joke, she knew that was going to happen. But she knew Riley long enough to know when her daughter was hiding something, and more importantly, when Riley was hurting.

“Speaking of designs,” Penny said, “Riley, you gotta let me make your dress.”

“What, you don’t need to do that, I just want you to enjoy the wedding,” Riley interjected.

“Can’t hear you, I’m too busy thinking about your dress since I’m the best sister ever,” Penny gave her sister a sly grin.

Riley huffed a laugh, once her sister was inspired nothing could stop her.

“Jack?” Nina piped up.

“What’s up squirt?”

“Can you sing ‘No Girl’s Toy? after dessert?” she pleaded.

“Yeah, “No Girl’s Toy!” Alex cheered with his sister, “Oh please Jack, please sing that!”

Jack flushed, waving his hands in exasperation, “Woah, woah hang on! I’m not singing that!”

“Please Jack, please!” The twins chorused.

“It’s just a little song Jack,” Winter jeered, Jack glared at her.

“Yeah,” Riley joined in on her fiancé’s antics, “What’s so wrong with the Raggedy Andy song Jack?”

“I sung that one time and suddenly whenever it’s brought up I’m forced to sing it!” he told them, “I’m putting my foot down on this one, there’s no way that any of you can convince me too-”

“Raggedy Ann was my favourite movie growing up,” Penny mentioned, “I’d love to hear you sing that song. Please?”

Oh god, Penny’s chocolate brown eyes had such an effective grip on him, how on earth could he say no to those lovely eyes? He sighed, “Fine, one song and that’s it.”

“Yay!” The twins cheered before tucking back into their meal.

“You should bring Penny over more often,” said Alex.

“Yeah she makes you do fun stuff,” Nina agreed.

“It is very interesting how easily swayed you were,” Laura joined in.

Jack wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole, he was being way too obvious with how he felt. “Please, I just want to eat my food without any further humiliation.”

“You know Marcus, he’s acting just like you before you started going out with Laura,” Winston said, “The red face, being easily swayed, the teasing. I’m getting a bit of déjà vu here.”

Jack bit down on his fork hard as Penny began to quietly squeal like a kettle, this night was already too much for the both of them.

After dinner and dessert was finished, Riley was helping Laura wash up the dishes despite the woman requesting Riley to sit down. “Laura, do you mind if I have a word with my daughter?” Amber asked, entering the kitchen.

“Oh, of course,” Laura said before turning back to Riley again, “Remember sweetie, you’re our guest, make sure you relax tonight.”

“Just after I’m finished with this dish Mrs Alvarez,” Riley continued to scrub the plate, “Than I’ll relax.”

Laura patted her back, leaving the mother and daughter in the kitchen alone together. “Is everything okay with you?” Amber asked.

“What do you mean?” Riley didn’t take her eyes off the plate.

“I mean with Jack and Penny,” Amber told her, “I thought you were fine with him back when you started dating Winter.”

“I am,” Winter dried off the plate and put it away, “If this is about Penny, that’s just me being protective.”

“I know that,” Amber walked over to her, “But I also noticed that you seemed a bit aggravated towards him.”

Riley whipped round, “No I wasn’t, I was just looking out for Penny.”

“Penny is a grown adult who can make her own choices,” Amber walked closer to her, “Riley, baby, why are you so worried?”

“Come on mom, you aren’t at least a little bit worried?” Riley argued, “You aren’t worried that he’s like the boys from Penny’s high school. Penny’s got a sensitive heart, what if he breaks it like they did? Those boys didn’t actually like her, they wanted to control her. And once she didn’t give them what they wanted they would just dump her! What if he’s like that, what if he makes her hate herself? What if he makes her so scared to the point she stops talking again? What if we actually lose her? What if-”

“-If he’s like David,” Amber finished for her, “That’s what it is, right?”

Riley froze, part of her knew that this was why she was so scared for her younger sister, but she wanted David out of her mind. He already tried to force himself back into Riley’s life many times to ask for money, and she never forgave him for involving Penny in that car crash. She hated him, she hated him so much that she would never let anyone else hurt Penny like that again, she failed with David, she failed with those stupid high school boys and she won’t make that mistake ever again. “I have to be careful mom,” Riley said to her mother, “I can’t let Penny feel that kind of pain again.”

“I know baby,” Amber said, “When I heard of Jack and Penny seeing each other I got worried as well. It’s always my first instinct. But now, I know that I can’t let David control what could actually be good for Penny, I won’t let him get into my head like that. I’m still scared, baby believe me, but not as much as I used to be.” She cupped her daughter’s cheek, gently lifting her head to meet her eyes, “David hurt you too Riley, I know you hate thinking about him, but you’re allowed to feel betrayed as well. If I ever made you feel that you weren’t allowed to hurt for what he did to you, I’m so sorry. I’m your mother and I’m supposed to protect my babies. Yes, I protected Penny, but don’t think for a second I won’t protect you too, even after you’ve left the nest.”

Amber held her arms out for her daughter. After so much anger and frustrations for her father after so long, Riley all but broke in her mother’s arms, Amber stroking her hair and whispering comforts into her ear. “It’s okay baby, I’m here, mama’s here.”

A soft sniffle made them turn to the doorway, seeing Penny there with a few leaked tears. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop,” she whimpered, “Can I have a hug too?”

Riley and Amber opened their arms for her, letting the youngest daughter cry along with them as their mother squeezed them both. In that moment, Riley wasn’t an engaged woman and Penny wasn’t an aspiring college student. They were just the 10- and 14-year-old girls letting their mother sooth them after so much pain.

After a while, their tears were dried and the three headed back into the living room. Everyone rushed up to them, panicking and asking them if they were all right. They told the rest of the family that they were fine, just a mother and her two daughters picking up a few fallen pieces.

It wasn’t until Penny erupted into a fit of giggles, seeing Jack being the one to pout this time as he held up a microphone and had the TV ready to play ‘No Girl’s Toy.’ Everyone was immediately seated, ready to hear the performance.

“I hope my suffering entertains you monsters,” he mumbled, before pressing play on the music. He gave out one final sigh before he began to sing.

Well, you can push me, shove me, turn me around, but I'm no girl's toy!

You can tie me, toss me, upside or down, but I'm no girl's toy!

I sing my own sweet melody, I go my own sweet way.

I won't beg 'round tomorrow for the kind of affection that was free today!

Oh, you can squeeze me, tease me; say I'm your own but I'm no girl's toy!

You can charm me, chase me, follow me home; I won't be coy!

You may not like it much but I'm my own best boy,

And not some sugar and spicy, lacy and nicey, sissy you're gonna enjoy!

No, I'm no girl's toy!

Everyone applauded and clapped as he continued to sing. He was embarrassed, that was for sure. But seeing Penny so carefree and happy, no worries and stress in those beautiful eyes of hers, just having fun with everyone else, he would sing this song for the rest of his life as long as she was happy. He was unable to stop his pleased smile while he sang.

Riley rested her head on Winter’s shoulder, she didn’t need to say anything for Winter to know when her fiancé needed her. She kept looking between Jack and Penny, just seeing what he would do for her, she knew that he wasn’t a bad person, although her protectiveness would always take over her senses. However she knew that Penny had to do this on her own, but for the first time in a while, she believed that her little sister was safe.

Spring had arrived, the perfect atmosphere for Riley and Winter’s wedding to take place. They had booked a hotel for the night and rented out it’s ballroom for tonight’s event. There was only one thing on everyone’s minds, make sure this wedding went off without a hitch.

Since Christmas, Penny had put all her focus on making the perfect dress for Riley, something that was pristine and bridal while also making sure that this dress was something only Riley would wear. Jack had facetimed her every time she was sewing, making sure she was getting on well with the dress while also making sure she was eating and drinking enough fluids. He had also seen the final result of the dress and he was determined that once Winter saw Riley walking down the isle wearing that, she would promptly burst into tears.

After hours of setting up flowers and decorations, making sure the place was spotless, the meals were delicious, the dance floor was ready, getting changed into their wedding outfits and the chocolate fondue was prepared, everyone could finally breathe until the wedding officially begun.

Jack was currently standing at the end of the aisle, waiting for Winter to walk up with her father. That would be the order, the brides would wait in their dressing rooms, wait for one of them to walk up the aisle first before leaving their own room to walk up as well, in order for neither of them to see their gowns.

He wore a black tux with a simple white blouse underneath, fiddling with his cuffs one more time before resting his hands. Of course Winter had asked him to be her best man, it was expected since he was practically her adopted brother. Alex was beside him, standing proud and taking his job as the ring bearer seriously. He ruffled the boy’s hair, making him laugh before Laura sent a look to the boys, telling them to behave.

Everyone straightened up when the music began. The doors opened, revealing Nina as the flower girl, spreading flowers across the aisle as a few bridesmaids followed, including Kiara, each of them wearing soft silvery grey dresses. There was a swell of pride when he watched Winter walk through the doors and up the aisle, her arm secured in Marcus’s as the man led his daughter up while his eyes welled with tears. Winter wore a snow-white gown with a full-layered skirt while her bodice consisted of a sweetheart neckline and spaghetti straps. Some would call it simple, Winter called it timeless.

Once she arrived at the top of the aisle, her father kissed her on the cheek and whispered praise into her ear. It was only when she stood at the top and her father sat down, Jack noticed her clutching her bouquet of roses while trembling like a leaf. He leaned over and whispered, “You’re okay. Riley has been head over heals with you ever since you met.”

“What if she changes her mind?” she whispered back, “What if she realises we’re too different and leaves?”

“That’s not possible,” he told her, “You too are proof of the carrot cake theory working.”

“Excuse me?” she asked, baffled.

“The carrot cake theory,” he said, “You love it and Riley hates it, yet she always brought a freshly homemade carrot cake because you it’s your favourite. You too are proof that the theory works, that opposites attract.”

Winter snorted, “You just blatantly ripped off the olive theory.”

“Mine is better,” he sniffed, “Besides, it got you to stop shaking.”

Winter looked down at her hands, he was right, she had stopped shaking. The doors opened and Winter’s breath hitched as she gawked at her bride. Riley’s arm was in her mothers, her dress was an off-the-shoulder mermaid cut with a train, the white fabric adorned with glittered floral embroidery and long sleeves. The dress clung to her, Winter let a few tears fall, she was beautiful.

Jack was taken aback to, not by the bride, but by her maid of honour. Penny’s dress wasn’t as grand, yes, but he couldn’t take her eyes off her as she followed her sister. Her dress consisted of a purplish rouge chiffon fabric, a long A-line skirt, a straight across neckline and long balloon sleeves. He fell in love all over again.

Once Riley reached the end of the aisle, her hands latched onto Winter’s as Jack and Penny took a hold of their bouquets. Both brides were focused on each other, nothing else mattered. Once Amber sat down, did the wedding begin.

“Dearly beloved,” the officiator spoke, “We are gathered here today for the wonderful union of Riley Reed and Amber Alvarez. These two have proven that despite our differences, there is a love that can be found no matter what. Today, we are here to celebrate that love as these lovely ladies become not just married, but soulmates on this day. Winter, your vows.”

Winter took a shaky breath, “Riley, when I first met you, I won’t lie, I was a bit scared of you,” That earned a laugh from the crowd. “But after getting to know you, knowing how much you love your family, what you’ll do to make sure our clients get the justice they deserve, and knowing that despite your front, you are one of the kindest people I’ve ever met and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Riley began to cry as well, unable to keep all the affection she felt for this woman at bay. With the officiator’s okay, she began her speech. “Winter, every time I look at you I just keep asking myself, how did I get so lucky? How did I deserve the most perfect girl in the world? You look at the world with such positivity and kindness that I couldn’t not fall in love with you. Every time I look at you, you remind me why I became a private investigator, to help amazing people like you make the world a better place. I just…I really fucking love you Winter!”

Winter gave her a wet laugh, God she wanted to kiss her so bad.

“Winter,” the officiator said, “Do you take Riley Reed to be your wife, in sickness and in health, until the day you part, may you be together?”

“I do!” Winter replied immediately.

“And do you Riley-”

“I do, a thousand times I do!” Riley couldn’t stop the tears, not caring if her makeup got ruined.

“May we have the rings?” the officiator asked. Alex puffed his chest and beamed, carrying the rings over to the brides. The women thanked the young boy as the slipped each ring onto each other’s finger before holding hands again. “By the power vested in me, I know pronounce you too married. You may kiss the-”

The two didn’t wait for the officiator to finished before slamming their lips against each other’s, the crowd erupting into applause. Jack’s focus wasn’t on the couple though, his eyes travelled to Penny as she cheered for her older sister. Her eyes met Jack’s, the two of them just staring for a moment before giving each other a smile. It was in the moment that the two decided internally that one day, they wanted to have this moment and say ‘I do’ to one another. Tonight, they decided, would be the night that they would stop being ‘friends.’

The dance floor was empty apart from the newlyweds, holding each other in their arms as they let the music carry their slow steps. They weren’t able to keep their hands off each other since they were married, afraid that if they did then everything would disappear. By the time the first dance ended, the music picked up the pace and everyone was on the dance floor, dancing the night away, congratulating the couple and unafraid to be slightly more than tipsy.

Winter and Riley even threw their bouquets, having their backs turned to make sure it would be a surprise. When they turned round, they saw that Winter’s bouquet was held by one of the bridesmaids, and Riley’s was plopped into Penny’s hands.

“Penny’s gonna marry Jack!” Nina bellowed, she already had too much sugar from the fondue. It didn’t stop everyone whispering knowingly, apart from Riley still giving Jack the evil eye. However, Jack and Penny didn’t mind the teasing this time, after all, even if they didn’t confess yet, their feelings were mutual.

A while later, after dancing, talking and snacking, Jack pulled away from the buzz to get some fresh air on the balcony. He felt his heart take a leap when he saw Penny outside as well, her long hair flowing in the soft spring wind, taking in the quiet. He gently opened the door, trying not to startle her, though it seemed that he didn’t need to worry about that when she turned and noticed him, she must’ve sensed him coming outside.

“Need a break?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he said, going up to rest his arms on the stone rail, “I was also hoping to see you as well.”

“I guess it’s a win-win situation,” she gently nudged his shoulder with hers. He was glad that he was part of her inner circle of people she was comfortable touching. “So, Riley and Winter are finally married.”

“I’m surprised they didn’t do so sooner,” he reflected the first time Winter brought Riley home, how they would giggle and fawn over each other as Riley was introduced to Winter’s parents, “I felt like I was gonna go insane with how much they made goo-goo eyes at each other.”

“They still do that,” Penny replied, “And I think its gonna amplify now that they’re married.”

“Oh jeez,” he put a hand to his head, listening to Penny’s sweet giggle. He took in the situation at hand, they were on the balcony together talking and having fun with all the space they needed to talk about their feelings. Maybe this was his chance, “Although I will admit, I am a little jealous. It would be pretty nice to have someone to do all that sappy stuff with.”

“O-oh,” Penny was taken aback a little bit, the thought of he and her doing all sorts of couple things rushing through her mind. Wanting to spend all his time with her, holding her hand, whispering sweet nothings when no one was looking. “I wanna do that too, you know, with the right person.”

Jack fiddled with the cuffs on his sleeves, this was it, “And what is the ‘right person’ that you have in mind?”

Penny gulped, okay, now it was getting serious, no turning back. “Well, I’d like him to be funny, kind, respectful to his and my family. Someone who has my back no matter what. Someone who makes sure that I feel like I deserve to be here. Someone who…sees me.”

She said, oh she said it! Did this mean she felt the same, only one way to find out. “Is that so little lady?” he took in her blush and nod, “Well, I bet he’s very handsome, jaw-droppingly if you will.”

Penny’s blush faded as she let out a chortle, “Did I forget to mention he’s full of himself?”

Jack placed his hand dramatically on his chest, “Why Penny how rude! It’s takes guts for someone to admit when they’re good looking.”

“Guts? Or an ego that’s too big to fit his head?” she began to belly laugh at his frown, clutching her sides as she clutched her ribs.

“Oh? Well that’s too bad little lady, I was just about to describe my ‘right’ person,” he chuckled as she straightened back up, “But it you don’t wanna hear it-”

“Alright, you smug bastard,” she sighed fondly, “Tell me, what are they like?”

“Well, let’s see,” he tapped his chin in false thought, “She’s extremely talented, always puts her family first, has one of the cutest laughs in the world.” Taking a chance, he tucked a piece of her hair behind her skin, his skin tingling as he made contact with hers, “Insanely beautiful…who sees me too…and is very short.”

“I will bite you,” Penny snarled, but she held no threat in her tone.

Jack’s face softened, “And, I want to hold her, tell her how much I love her and be with her as long as she lets me.”

Penny’s shivered at his tone, if he were talking about her (and she really hoped he was) then she had to do this next part carefully, “And if you were with this girl right now, how would you tell her about how you feel?”

Jack gulped, time to take the plunge, “I would tell her that I’m not a perfect person, but I am someone who’s always trying. You’ve taken over my mind and have stolen my heart, but I can’t find it in myself to care as long as it’s in your hands.” He took her hands in his at those words, “I just hope that she feels the same way.”

Penny’s heart fluttered, squeezing his hand in return as a swell of joy rushed through her from head to toe, “She does! She really does!”

Jack exhaled sharply, he couldn’t believe it! She likes him back! She wanted to be with him! “I wanna kiss you so badly right now,” he clamped his mouth shut when he realised what came out his mouth. They just confessed and now he was admitting that he wanted to kiss her, and just when he thought he was being smooth.

“Okay,” Penny peered up at him through her lashes.

Jack gaped at her, “Pen, you don’t want to if you don’t want to.”

“Trust me,” she cupped his cheek, “I really want this.” Despite her initial shock, she oh so badly wanted to kiss him back. Ever since the Christmas fair she was unable to spot thinking about his lips on her forehead, or how they would feel on her lips. “Are you gonna keep gawking or do I need to make the first move?” she teased.

Both of his hands were suddenly cupping her cheeks, cutting her off. He gave her one more look, a silent request to do this. When she nodded, he immediately planted his lips on hers. She was so soft, so sweet, so amazing! God he loved her!

She returned the kiss with the same warmth he gave her, with one hand on his cheek she used the other to pull him in closer by the waist. His lips felt the same as they did on her forehead, but somehow so different on her lips. No one ever kissed her like this before, like she really mattered to them. But with Jack, his mouth matched his promise he told to her, and she never wanted him to stop.

They parted for a moment to catch their breaths, grinning as they rested their foreheads together. “So,” she took in another lungful of air, “Does this mean you like me back?”

He smirked, taking her chin between his thumb and finger, “You tell me little lady, or would you rather I show and not tell with another kiss.”

“The second option please,” she grinned back.

He was about to dive back into her lips when a gasp made them both freeze. By the doors, Amber stood with a glass of wine, she was probably out here to get some air as well. “I knew it!” she squealed, “I knew you were gonna confess tonight! Laura owes me ten bucks!”

“Mom!” Penny gasped, clutching herself closer to Jack to save herself from embarrassment.

“Don’t worry baby, I’ll keep this between you and me. Besides, this is something that you’ll want to tell Riley by yourself,” Amber added, making both Penny and Jack pale at the thought of her older sister finding out. “Like I said, I’ll keep this to myself. Oh and Penny? Make sure you use the makeup wipes I gave you before you go back inside, the corner of your lip is smudged.”

Penny all but squealed in mortification into Jack’s chest after her mother went back inside, the man stroking her back as he chuckled. “Well, she does have a point,” he mentioned, “We don’t want the first thing that Riley sees when we go back in is smudged lip gloss.”

“Don’t single yourself out mister,” she poked him in the chest, “You’re wearing it too.”

“Oh really? Is it a good colour on me?” He leant in closer.

Penny mumbled shyly under her breath, God she was just too cute. “Wanna say that again little lady?” he asked.

“I said, how about you kiss me again if you like my lip gloss so much,” she pouted, the blush on his face was worth it though.

Jack huffed a laugh and pulled her in closer, “Now that sweetie, can be arranged.”

And just like that, they dove back into another kiss, enjoying only themselves without anyone else to interrupt their moment. It was just them, the moon and the start of their new relationship. And they couldn’t wait to see what else was in store for them.

Jax stirred lightly, stiff from laying against the ground. He must’ve slid down the hedge and onto the plush grass in his sleep, oh well, the grass was comfier. He could feel his lips burn from where Penny kissed Jack, as though he were the one who kissed her. But that was impossible, wasn’t it? There was no way that actually happened.

He was about to move when he felt a light weight on his chest. Looking down, he saw Pomni curled up next to him, hugging his side as she snored softly while using his upper body as a pillow for her head. Why wasn’t he shoving her off or telling her to get lost? Why was he growing flustered by the second and praying that she couldn’t hear his quickening heart rate? He could feel his tail wagging underneath him, was he actually happy about this predicament? There was no way!

He felt her shift beside him, mumbling gibberish in her sleep before cuddling him closer. Cute…wait, no it’s not! Get yourself together Jax! But there wasn’t any denying it though, no matter how much he wanted to, yesterday’s revelation just proved to him that he felt some sort of attachment to the jester and it was driving him up the wall. Her hat had also slid of her head, revealing short yet soft looking locks. The way it framed her face ever so gently with its wisped strands, oh god she was killing him.

He let his temptation win, reaching his hand out to touch it when she suddenly woke up, barely processing what was happening until she saw that she was firmly cuddling into this side while he was reaching towards her. “You got a loose hair there, sweetie,” he tried to squash down the awkwardness, trying to bring up his charm to save himself.

It seemed that it didn’t work as she squealed and pulled away from him as though he burned her, he wasn’t gonna lie, it kind of stung a bit. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t even know that I was doing that!” she fumbled over her words, grabbing her hat and screaming into it.

“It’s fine,” he sighed, standing up and stretching. “We should keep going, make use of the time we have.”

Pomni looked up, still clutching her hat. She was glad that he wasn’t mad, but why wasn’t he? If it were anyone else she was shore he would have told them to get lost, why did he leave her be? Her dream from last night made this moment even more flustering for her, the memory of Jack kissing Penny with such passion was burned into the back of her mind and the minute she woke up she was cuddling into Jax! The universe had to be out to get her.

“Hey, you awake in there?” he pointed to her forehead, “I said we should keep going.”

“W-what?” oh right, they still had to get out of the maze. The long…long maze, “Yeah, I’m coming.”

It seemed that the awkward silence had carried over from last night during their trek through the winding paths, neither of them not knowing what to say and their dreams invading every single thought they had. But besides the kiss, Jax thought of the family that brought Jack into their home. They shared no blood but treated him as though he were their son, making sure he was fed, happy and safe despite the occasional teasing. His mind drifted to Laura, how she cared for each one of her children, with the care and love that a mother should, it made him think of…

He looked to Pomni, who also seemed to be deep in thought, he made sure that she wouldn’t bump into anything. He felt bad for snapping at her yesterday, and the words she said to him afterwards cut deep. It was the first time in so long that someone called him out in a way that hollowed him to his core, to just step back and really think. Maybe that was what he needed. “Do you remember yesterday when Caine mentioned I used to know someone?” he spoke up.

Pomni’s head snapped up to him, his voice drowning out the deafening silence they stewed in for quite some time. “Y-yeah, why?”

“Well, when I arrived,” he started, “I remember that I didn’t know anything about my past, I was stuck in a body I didn’t know and all I could remember feeling was regret and fear. I acted a lot like a wounded animal, just screaming at people to stay away. It worked on everyone…except for Queenie.”

Pomni gasped, she had heard of Queenie and seen her door crossed off. The unsaid implication of her abstraction was what chilled Pomni’s spine, no one had to say anything to know what happened to her, but she never realised Jack was close to her.

“Well, she was the only one who wasn’t really phased by me,” he continued, “She made sure that I wasn’t alone, told me the stuff to look out for and sometimes Kinger would join her with helping me out, it’s strange to think about, back then he was more sane than he is now. I won’t lie, there were times that I was a little sh77t, but I’m grateful that she was willing to help me out. It helped me feel less scared, and sometimes I wondered if I had a mother in my past life that was like Queenie. But soon, I started seeing less and less of Queenie, everyone was starting to get worried. Any time we would see her she was always talking about an exit. I was also looking for one as well, collecting keys hoping that one of them would lead to an exit. One day, I told her about and maybe she could use on of them so it could help her mission…the next day she abstracted. Kinger was never the same after that, I wasn’t really sure if those two were together or not, but it was obvious how strong their bond was. Ever since then he started rambling about his ‘insect collection,’ I don’t know if it was to distract him from the grief or if it was a factor of him going crazy. All I knew was if I didn’t give Queenie that key, she would still be here. If I didn’t try and escape, Kinger would still have his sanity left. It’s better that everyone hates me, all I am is this a%%hole rabbit who killed their oldest friend. It’s no wonder they hate me.”

“I don’t hate you,” Pomni said, making him turn to her, “That situation wasn’t your fault, it was just an awful place in time that no one could control. And I don’t think the others hate you too, I mean, did you even ask them?”

Jax sighed, “No, my mind just immediately believed that everyone hated me. Honestly, I wanted them to, it’ll make things a bit easier.”

“Yeah,” Pomni nodded, before paling at her word choice, “Not about everyone hating you, I meant about making things easier. Facing the bad stuff is scary, when I first got here I denied that this was real and that it was a dream. But at the end of it all, I had to accept that this was my reality, even if I didn’t like it. But I’m not gonna let it stop me from trying to leave, don’t let what happened to Queenie stop you from thinking that you deserve to be hated, you don’t. Maybe the others won’t forgive you immediately, but you can at least make a start.”

“We’ll see,” he gave her a soft grin, she was smiling back proudly. It was starting to get a bit too mushy now, so he pushed her hat over her eyes.

“Hey!” she squealed, she didn’t seem to mind that. She readjusted her hat and crossed her arms, “Really?”

“This is me we’re taking about. Besides, it was too easy Pom-pom,” he chuckled as she let out a groan.

“You’re not funny,” she walked up ahead, keeping the banter afloat as they continued to travel.

“No, I’m hilarious,” he retorted, “It’s not my fault you’re so uncultured short stack.”

She whipped back round at him with a pretend offended expression, “I’m not short!”

“Okay,” Jax snickered, “Come back to me about that were you grow 2 inches.”

She groaned dramatically, “You’re the worst!”

“True,” he picked her up as she let out a yip and placed her on his shoulders, “And I also have longer legs, I’ll get us to the exit faster.”

“Hey!” Pomni giggled, holding onto his head, “Put me down you giant!”

“But I need you to be my second pair of eyes short stack,” he patted her leg, “Just point out if you see anything and I’ll be your steering wheel.”

Despite the light teasing, she knew he was right, they would find the exit to the maze quicker if they worked like this, “Fine!...tall ass.”

“Say that again?” he quired.

“Nothing!” Pomni said.

Jax shrugged and continued walking. After a while, it seemed that the awkwardness had finally died down, leaving the two to engage in light conversations while searching for the exit. It was then they realised that they had forgotten about their dreams, not fully but they were so focused on one another, enjoying one another, they didn’t find the time to really think about them.

It still took them a bit of time, but eventually, to both of their relief and slight disappointment, they found the exit, the circus tent just down the path in front of them. Pomni jumped off Jax’s shoulders, there was no need for him to keep carrying down that they were back.

“I guess that marks the end of this adventure,” Pomni rubbed her arm, was she upset that this was over? Or was she upset that she couldn’t spend time with Jax anymore?

“Yeah, the end,” Jax nodded, as much as he didn’t want to be part of this little maze escapade, he’ll admit it, it was better with Pomni being here. In fact, he wouldn’t mind being around her more often. “You know, I’ve noticed that whenever you’re on your own, you’re either hyper focused on every single little thing to the point where it stresses you out of your in your own little world while dissociating. Sometimes you’re so in your head that you fail to notice when someone’s coming right at ya. Whether it be Caine with one of his adventures or one of the others fooling around.”

“That tends to happen a lot,” she confessed, “It’s either one or the either, there’s not an in between. It’s kinda a problem.”

“Well, I have a proposition for you,” he said, she perked up, “Until you feel like you understand this place a little more, I’ll be there to make you don’t have one of your episodes. Whether you’re spiralling or hyper focusing, I’ll be here to ground you in case that happens.”

“Really?” her eyes widened with joy at his offer, “You’d do that for me?”

“Just until you’re more aware of your surroundings,” he told her, “After all, I have a reputation to uphold.”

“Ah, right,” she gave him a joking grin, “We wouldn’t want anything to happen to that.”

“See, now you’re getting it,” he agreed, returning her grin.

The way he was leaning in, the way her heart sped up at their newly found teasing of each other, the way that the sense of déjà vu kept creeping in as though they had done this song and dance before. She ready did fall for him, didn’t she? She cleared her throat, “Well, good to know you’ve got my back, thank you again Jax. We should head in so no one’s worrying about us.”

“Works for me,” he nodded, his face suddenly becoming gentler, “And, you’re welcome.”

Don’t blush, don’t blush, don’t blush, don’t blush, don’t blush. “Race you inside!” she zoomed off, leaving the rabbit to laugh to himself.

“She sure is something else, huh?” he said to himself, his thoughts flooding with her again, he didn’t to anything to spot it, only letting it flow.

Pomni-Pomni-Pomni-Pomni-Pomni-Pen-

“Jax! You coming?” Pomni called out to him.

He blinked, what was that? What was his last thought about? He looked towards Pomni, suddenly forgetting that sudden glitch as he raced towards her, wanting to challenge the jester that captured his affections. “Are you sure sweetie?” he ran in her direction, “My longer legs might be more effective than yours short stack!”

“I’ll make you eat those words!” she snickered as he chased after her.

It was just a glitch.

Only a glitch.

#spoilers it was not just a 'glitch'#the amazing digital circus #tadc #pomni #jax #ragatha #zooble #kinger #gangle #caine #pomnijax #funnybunny #my writing #dragon rambles #fanfiction #fanfic #ao3 #Instagram #pomni x jax

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shepardsherd · 4 months

Text

Hey guys

I just wanted this to be my full formal apology. I've been needing to write this for a few months and I think I was blocked from the right words to say, out of anger and my own struggles. Let me explain

I started this blog last year to get away from writeblr drama and like, some people I considered friends who we all turned on each other and now no longer speak to each other.

I admit I have a part to play in the blame, what I said and did was wrong and I pushed some very important people away when I didn't intend to. I'm learning to be a better person and learning from my mistakes because sometimes I don't understand things and they're not really explained well.

I thought what I was doing, was helping people but maybe I wasn't doing enough, or I was doing too much of the wrong thing. All I know is, looking back on it - I was wrong. And I was too hurt to see that.

I only want to make writeblr and my friends and everyone else, happy. I want writeblr to be a nice place for everyone to get along with, to get feedback and support and all that jazz.

That doesn't make things better. I know I can't go back and repair the bridges that have been burnt and I can't repair those relationships. But just know that I am very sorry if I ever came across as rude or weird. It was not my intention.

Looking back, I could have done things a lot better and through learning things about myself, I've learned that I need to do better. I want to understand. I want to help.

Words can't describe how sorry I am and I know that won't bring anything back. But hopefully we can look to the future now. I want this year onwards to be a good year for everyone I'm friends with, with those who want to get to know me. I don't want to fall out.

I've met so many wonderful people and I really owe everything to you guys. Ya'll are amazing.

Thank you

Ash Shepard, formerly Athena Anna Rose

@albatris @abalonetea @antique-symbolism @bardicbeetle @blackandwhitecircus @blackrosesandwhump @bard-coded @digital-chance-rb @dyrewrites @endlessburningdarkness @emery-silverton @foxy-lisard @galactic-mystics-writes @garthcelyn @hallowedfury @hippiewrites @icaruspendragon @irilenaps @insidedamienshead @illarian-rambling @isabellebissonrouthier @joshuaorrizonte @jezifster @kalu-chan @kosmic-kore @multi-lefaiye @midnight-blue-moon-princess @midnight-and-his-melodiverse @pheita @pluttskutt @philosophika @pen-of-roses @revenantlore @scribble-dee-vee @sergeantnarwhalwrites @thorlokibrother @that-chibi-writer @theprissythumbelina @uccelletto-di-kokuyo @violetcancerian @vacantgodling @waltzshouldbewriting @wait-a-minute-lassie

#ash shepard updates

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shoukiko · 4 months

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Hi, you can keep this unanswered and not post it, but I want to help you understand the thought behind some of the points in your criticism post. Before I start I want to apologise if I come off as blunt and rude, that's not my intention and I'll try my best to show my tone as unthreatening but I'm autistic and not a native English speaker, which complicates things lol

*general you used throughout the ask

First, I want to start with this: they all are part of the army. You don't need to dig much to see you'll rarely see a "morally upstanding" person in the army, be it because they're cheaters, abusers, compliant with all that or they're (insert -ist/-phobe category here). UK military spouses are 3 times more likely to experience intimate partner violence (IPV). I'm not saying the COD characters need to be written like that, but it wouldn't be "unrealistic" if we take real life statistics into account.

Second, and maybe the most important thing, everyone writes COD characters OOC. The majority of the active fandom on Tumblr and tiktok have seen gifs and 10min out of context clips from the game at best. It's to be expected to not frequently find something actually in character for a lot of the guys. Especially with characters that are just operators like König, Nikto and Krueger. In their case everything is and isn't OOC at the same time because we just... Don't know these characters. We lack characterisation past maybe 1-3 traits about them. I'd argue that's why the fandom liked König so much, other than being masked, he's the perfect paper doll! You can dress him up in whatever characterisation you want and it probably won't contradict his canon (because he barely has one and what he has is quickly misinterpreted (anxiety disorder turning into shyness for example)).

Now specifically on your "How are you going to hc a victim as the abuser?" - simple, whether you like to accept it or not is up to you, but it's not far fetched for victims to become abusers later in life. Just look at serial killers statistics - 74% of US serial killers were psychologically abused and 42% were physically abused as children and later in life followed a similar pattern brought to an extreme. Or on the other hand, a tamer example would be generational trauma because that's how we get that (grandparent was abused and because that's all they know, they implement it in bringing up their child who, for the same reason, implements it in bringing up the grandchild and so on).

The final thing I want to say is, it's good to block people who you don't vibe with. Doesn't matter if it's because they wrote something that personally disturbed you or you simply don't like their blog theme or you see them too often in the tag. Personally curating your experience is key in fandom, utilise the tools Tumblr has given us. Of course as you and others have mentioned that's impossible without some assistance from the other side. Tagging is extremely important (tagging with the correct words without censoring!!! Or the filter won't catch! Rape, noncon, incest ✅; r@pe, n*nc*n, 1nc*st ✖️✖️).

I hope this isn't too messy or long aaaa

I really appreciate you taking the time to type this up and actually speak to me about this, your input is very appreciated. /gen

I do think I could've done better on that post since I wrote it in the heat of the moment, all characters are written OOC and it was ignorant of me to say

"Maybe read the characters backstories and actually take their past into consideration because you guys kinda look dumb for making these characters so OOC."

I hope ya'll can really take the time to see my POV, I did not mean. any harm, I've come across some gross things, but blocking and filtering tags so much as begun to be tiring.

My main issue is tagging, without tagging I am left with getting triggered by random posts because the first few sentences may include something on my trigger list.

That's all I want and also what a lot of other people want.

Writing is meant for anyone and everyone, a form of art and perhaps a for of therapy.

Please tag your work, you are not the only person on the internet.

Thank you for reading!

#call of duty #cod mwii #cod mw2 #cod #simon ghost riley #cod mwiii #konig #kiko asks #shoukiko

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theglamorousferal · 5 months

Text

Cryptid of Smallville Chapter 3

Hey ya'll, this has been a long time coming.

First off, I want to thank everybody who liked and shared! I'm not great at talking to people but know that everything has made me so happy and warms my heart so much that I can barely put together words.

Secondly, I will be writing more, but I definitely won't be able to keep any sort of schedule. I already have a good part of the next chapter started and though it's definitely going to be a shorter one, it will still be good.

Finally, this beast of a chapter. I wrote the first 3/4 of this chapter about a week after I finished the first chapter and then began to second-guess myself about whether people would want an entire chapter dedicated to a lore dump. I fought with myself for literal months before I finally sat down and was like, "You won't be able to do the rest of it until you get this one done, it's important". Finally this morning I sat down and plugged out the last bit of the chapter and after looking everything over again I decided to just post it before I lost my nerve.

Please let me know any critiques you may have, I barely edited this. Thank you so much for the support!! <3 Here's the AO3 link

For as long as he can remember, Danny has always been fascinated by space. Something about the fact that each star out there being home to other planets and all the different things on those planets just tugs at his curiosity. To make it better, it’s infinite, so he can just keep learning about new places for as long as he’ll live. Which might be forever, but he’s trying to not think too hard about that right now.

He wonders what the members of his Fright are up to right now. Jazz it probably trying to psycho-analyze Vlad who claims that his days of evil are over with and that he plans to just be the chill uncle to both the Fenton children. Tucker’s probably hacking into the GIW again just to mess with them. Sam’s probably planning a protest to try and get some of the anti-ecto acts repealed while Mom and Dad help with the research to back her up. Ellie is probably still hanging out with Pandora learning how to fight ancient style. Danny sighed, most of that sounded really fun, and he really wished that he could learn to fight alongside Ellie. He missed his totally-not-twin.

Right now, Danny is basically on vacation until his body is back to being 16. He basically can do whatever he wants, but he does have to go to school to keep up appearances. He’s allowed to use his powers whenever, but not where anybody can see. Which typically means he’s not allowed to go into low orbit to look at the stars because that’s just a bit far for the Kent parents' tastes.

They compromised with the roof.

So here he was, at the highest point of the Kent family home staring up at the night sky with little to no light pollution and not a cloud in the sky. The Milky Way was on full display as the stars all twinkled above. One thing he noticed pretty early on is that despite this not being his planet Earth and dimension, the constellations are the same. He tracked his way through all of the astrological signs, pausing a moment on Libra as he pictured himself as the balance with morbid humor, and then through the popular ones like Orion and the Big Dipper. He glances next to him a moment later when someone settles down on the roof with him.

“Hey Clark, what’s got you up?” Danny asked, turning back to face the sky. It’s been about five months since he started staying with the Kent’s and he’s forever grateful that they’ve been so kind and understanding with him.

“Not much, was finishing up studying for this new unit in science when I noticed you were up here. Heard you sighing, what’s got you worked up?” Clark sat with an arm braced on his knee and the other behind him staring up at the sky as well.

“Just thinking about what my Fri- family is up to. I know time works differently here and it’s probably just been a couple days or maybe even hours for them, but I miss them a lot. They’re a crazy mess, but they’re my crazy mess, ya’know?”

Clark glanced down at Danny, the kid looking a bit lost. He shifted so he was leaning back on both of his hands. “Actually no, I mean, it’s just been me and Ma and Pa out here before you came along. I don’t really have friends at school that I’m close with.” He paused for a moment, staring straight out across the fields. “Mind telling me about them?”

Danny whipped his head toward Clark, scanning his face. “Are you sure? You don’t have to listen to me ramble, I know I can go on and on, and I don’t want to bore you or anything.”

Clark chuckled, “Nah, go right on ahead and tell me about your family and friends, it’d be nice to hear about the people who helped make you, well you.”

Danny paused looking at Clark’s face for a moment before he blew out a breath and turned away to look at the sky.

“My parents are mad scientists,” Danny started. “Not in the ‘we’re building a thing to take over the world’ way, but in the ‘this sounds insane but it’s somehow real’ way. They’re the leading scientists in Ecto-biology and Ecto-engineering, also known as the study of ghostly behavior, biology and the properties of ectoplasm. Ectoplasm is both an energy source and the material that ghosts are made of. They make all kinds of things from weaponry to shield generators to tracking devices all based on ectoplasm. Their crowning achievement however was the portal.” Danny paused here, debating how much to say. “They built a portal to the afterlife in the basement of my childhood home, and it’s the reason I have ghost powers.” He decided to not get into the fact that he walked in and had a whole dimension pulled through him as the portal opened, no need to scare poor Clark.

“Lab safety has always been a thing that was more like guidelines than actual rules in the house, so since growing up in that environment, it led to myself and my family getting contaminated with ectoplasm. I definitely have it worse off than my family members, but each of them has something that’s just a bit off about them. Like my dad lifting things he probably shouldn’t, my mom moving just a little too fast, and my sister does this thing where she’s looking at you and it feels like she’s looking at your soul and it takes her just a little too long to actually blink and then she’s psychoanalyzed you and knows all your secrets. It’s unsettling, but we just live with it. I had a bit of an accident so I got more contaminated which is why I can fly and do other ghostly things.”

“Must be great having people around who’ve studied ghosts and everything when you have ghost powers. If you have them, why were you left with us? Wouldn’t it make more sense to have you stay with your parents who can handle it if your powers get out of control?”

Danny winced at this, “It’s kinda complicated. So I have some responsibilities in my dimension that I kinda need to be bigger for. I have all my power, and who knows maybe going through puberty a second time will make them grow more, but for now it shouldn’t be much. I’m mostly here to get something of a ‘normal’ childhood and to wait it out until I’m my full size again. It’ll be weird because by that point I’ll technically be 26 but hey I’m not gonna have to go through all the ‘adult’ things I need to do, just need to lay low and do some fun kid stuff, maybe do better in school this time around, maybe I’ll be able to pass high school when I get back. Maybe I’ll work on learning some stuff that could be useful like karate, that could be fun, we could do it together! Since we’re both strong we wouldn’t have to hold back against each other!” Danny excitedly looked over at Clark. It was hard to see in the light of the full moon, but it almost seemed like the freckles on Danny’s face were glowing green in his excitement. Clark smiled at his excitement.

“Yeah that sounds like fun, we can ask Ma and Pa together tomorrow.”

“Yeah! It’ll be great, maybe when I get back I can show off that I’m a black belt just like mom. I can show Ellie all my new moves while she shows me what she learned from Pandora.” Danny smiled to himself and yes, those were certainly glowing freckles.

“Who’re Ellie and Pandora?” Danny stilled for a moment, the freckles dimming a bit. Should he tell Clark about the whole clone thing? Should he mention that he’s friends with what basically amounts to gods?

“So Ellie’s like my younger sister/cousin, we are very close and everyone says we could be twins, she’s a bit of a free spirit and is traveling a lot of the time. Right now she’s spending some time with Lady Pandora. Does your dimension have the myth of Pandora’s box?” at Clark’s nod Danny continues. “That’s her, she keeps the horrors in a box that she keeps locked down pretty tightly in the GZ, there’s a whole labyrinth and everything. I did have to help her one time when someone got a hold of it, not a fun time, but hey it was one of the first positive experiences my parents ever had when dealing with ghosts so there is that. Pandora has become something of a doting awesome aunt who can and will teach you how to fight if given the opportunity.”

They lapsed into silence for a bit, Clark content to just sit there while Danny gathered his thoughts.

“Let’s see, I talked about my parents, Ellie, Pandora and a little bit about my sister. So Jazz is the most amazing and overbearing sister known to all kind. She has her heart in the right place, but Ancients if she puts me in soup-time one more time, I’m gonna figure out a way to do it to her and see if she likes it.”

“Excuse me, ‘soup time’?” Clark was baffled. “Actually a few things you’ve mentioned have me confused, what is the ‘GZ’ and why say ‘Ancients’ like it’s a curse word?”

Danny looked sheepish at that. “Right yeah, I forgot, I’m just so used to talking to people who know. So the GZ is also known as the Ghost Zone, the Infinite Realms or the afterlife. Basically it’s a dimension connected to all other dimensions and houses the ecto-entities of the worlds. It’s where all the afterlives are connected together and there are also, like, gods or god-like beings, which are the Ancients I mentioned, there as well as monsters. Basically anything that gives off a whiff of ‘spooky’ is probably connected to the GZ in some way.”

“So your friends in the corn fields?” Clark trailed off giving a dubious look at the fields.

“Yeah, they’re technically ecto-entities. There are places that the veil between thins and sometimes things crossover. Like, I saw in one of the aerospace books that you also have the Bermuda Triangle as a thing, a lot of those incidents are from the veil thinning there and some natural portals opening up into the Infinite Realms. Sometimes they come back out, but it’s likely going to be a different time period than they first went in.”

“So, ‘soup time’?” Clark asked, getting Danny back on track.

“Right! So, you know how I mentioned that my parents make some crazy things? Well some of those things are containment devices, but there’s one that works the best out of all of them, and that is the Fenton Thermos. Basically it’s bigger on the inside and can suck in and hold an ecto-entity until it is released, usually through the portal. It’s very cramped and not a great feeling and my sister is rather clumsy so when she first started helping me, she accidentally sucked me into the thermos six times. Six times! Like I get it, sometimes somebody’s aim can be a bit off, but she kept getting me and not the ghost that was attacking! She’s gotten better and can and will join us on patrol if need be, but she’s more like a backup and also our field medic. She’s going into psychology and stuff for school, but she also wants to be a certified emt, it really couldn’t hurt in our town and with what I do.” Danny paused here, seeming to think about the fact he wasn’t home patrolling his Haunt. “Hey Clark, would you mind going for a short fly around the property with me? I need to move a bit.”

“Yeah, sure we can do that.” Clark got up and waited for Danny before making his way down towards the ground. “So you mentioned patrol? What’s up with that? Also do you have any friends you hang out with?”

Danny started flying in a set route and Clark followed along, curious. “So, you know how I have powers and whatnot, kind of obvious now that we’re actually flying.” Danny and Clark both snorted at this. “So not all things that come through the portal in my basement are good things. I fight whatever comes through and send it back where it came from. Most of the time it’s just animal ghosts that don’t know any better, but there are also ones that know full well what they’re doing and seem to just want to make my life worse. I mean, can’t Skulker lay off me for long enough for me to finish an essay? Honestly.”

“So, you’re a hero, is what you’re telling me? A vigilante?” Clark asked, and watched as Danny scanned the horizon for anything weird. Well, at least weird for Danny, which, on second thought, Clark decided he would just pay attention to the child-teen next to him. No need to see things not meant to be seen.

Danny glanced over at Clark, “Yes, though it took a while and some misunderstandings for the town to accept that I’m there to do good. There was an issue with mind control and then the mayor was possessed, it was a whole thing, I’ll go into it later. Anyway,” Danny turned down a path between fields. “So I talked about my parents, a bit about my sister and the basics of ghost stuff, how’s about I talk about my best friends in the whole world?” He smiled at this, a fond wistful thing.

“So my best friends are Sam and Tucker, and Valerie is getting there. We had a bit of a rough time before she realized I was the ghost boy she wanted to fight. It was a whole thing, but we’ve figured it out. We’ve got a truce going and she’s starting to hang out with us more and trains with us when she can. She’s this badass hunter in a red power suit with a flying surfboard, it’s really awesome. I mean, it wasn’t when she was unknowingly working with my nemesis, but the suit is now tied into her own ecto-signature so he can’t take it back from her now.”

“So I guess that brings me to my best friends in the whole world, they’ve been with me since before all of this and have stood by me and kept my secret before I told my parents. Tucker is the best hacker that I’ve ever met, and I know a ghost who literally can become electricity. He’s a self-proclaimed carnivore and will not eat veggies unless they’re with an almost equal portion of meat. He’s also the reincarnation of an ancient Pharaoh and will inherit a domain in the GZ when he passes on. He’s been helping out my parents with some of the tech they make and also keeps all our data safe. He also has been working with some people in the GZ to update our tech, specifically stuff for tracking and also medical stuff for ecto-entities. He may hate hospitals, but that doesn’t mean he won’t help when it’s needed.” He paused for a breath here before he basically sighed out, “And then there’s Sam.” His freckles started to glow again when he said her name.

“Sam is awesome. She’s a vegan and a goth and can and will absolutely beat the afterlife into anyone who messes with any of us. She has some level of powers following an incident that had her possessed for several days, but mostly it’s stuff like enhanced strength and speed, nothing too alarming, and juuuust a touch outside of normal for an athletic human, but she also can take and recover from hits almost on my level. She can talk to plants and grow them very quickly and when needed during a fight she can sprout out vines from the ground to help take out enemies. She’s set to take control of a part of the GZ as well when she dies, just as a princess, but still. She’s really smart and knows all this stuff about mythology and the kinds of things that we end up fighting a lot before the rest of us realize what it is and she’s a great shot too.” Danny seemed more content now than when Clark first came out, and while Danny had been right to warn him about the rambling, he found he really liked it when Danny was talking about the people he loves and things he knows about.

“So, what other things do you want to do before you go back? You already mentioned karate, did you want to learn anything else?” Clark asked. They started to make their way back to the house since they found nothing along the edges of the property.

Danny thinks for a moment. Learning new other combat techniques wouldn’t be a bad idea, but he can always learn from masters in the Zone. On one hand, learning politics wouldn’t be a bad idea, but he has a feeling that it’s probably different in the Zone than in the living world. On the other hand, he was told to treat this time like a vacation, meaning he can just enjoy himself and pursue his hobbies here.

“Well, I haven’t really had the time to do my hobbies or major interests in the last couple of years, so I guess I could do that. I’m not sure where you are with video games, but I’m sure they’re nowhere near what I’m used to, but building model spaceships and maybe I can try out flight simulators at museums. I’d love to learn to pilot, but right now I have the body of a six year old, so that’s gonna have to wait until I’m bigger. I’ve been a bit interested in the mechanics of things too, my dad’s shown me how to solder computer parts together, so I wouldn’t mind learning about how electronics and engines work. I’ve always wanted to be an astronaut, so I’d have to learn some of that stuff anyway.”

“Oh, one of our neighbors has a small plane he uses for crop dusting and sometimes for fires or rescue things if the police or firefighters need his help. We can see if he’d be willing to take us up sometime! I think there’s an aerospace museum in Metropolis that has a flight simulator, but it’s pretty far away, we’d have to go in winter when we can leave the farm for a day, but I’m sure Ma an’ Pa would take us. I’m sure Pa would be happy to teach you about the engines of the truck and the tractor too, though he might not let you do anything except hand him things until you’re older. As far as video games go, I’m not sure what they’re like there, but we only really have an arcade with some fighting games that are pretty cool. I mean, the Mayor’s kid has a home gaming system, but they’re hard to get around here.”

“Aw man, I’m gonna end up spending all my allowance at the arcade aren’t I?” Danny groaned as they made their way up the stairs of the house. Clark chuckled, swinging the door open. “But yeah, all that sounds awesome! I hope we can convince your parents to let us do all that stuff.” Danny yawned. “I think it’s time I actually head to bed though. Tiny baby body needs sleep.” Danny floated his way up the stairs, too tired to use his legs and not wanting to wake the Kent parents with the creaky stairs. “Hey, Clark?” Danny asked.

Clark turned back to Danny, about to head to his own room. “Yeah Danny?”

Danny smiled a small smile. “Thanks for listening to me, I think it helped with me being homesick. To, you know, talk about them all. I do wish I could see them and hang out with them all, but I’m glad that I’m here too. For the first time in a while I’m not responsible for anything, I can actually be a kid.”

Clark smiled back at Danny, “Of course, I’ll listen anytime.” He thought for a moment. “You mentioned before about responsibility, you mean the hero thing right?”

Danny nods at first, then tilts his head to the side for a moment. “Oh, I forgot to tell you, it’s not just that. I’m also to be the King of the GZ when I’m old enough.”

Clark’s face drained and he landed hard on his feet. Breathlessly he asked. “King of the GZ? You mean the dimension that connects all the dimensions? You’re going to be King of it all?”

Danny just nods then sits criss-cross in the air. “Yeah, gimmie a sec, I can make the royal getup appear, you might want to shield your eyes, it’s a bit bright.” Danny called forth his newest transformation, the one that came to be when he agreed to become Crown Prince of the Realms. A bright white light similar to an aurora with static on the edges appeared at his middle and hoarfrost seemed to spiral outwards as the light passed over his body. Left in its wake is medieval looking armor.

Chainmail that seemed to be made from frost under a breastplate of black metal with his logo etched in silver. A cloak that started as a slippery black faded on the edges to look like the galaxy itself was trailing after him. His bracers were a pale silver and the clothes beneath his armor were a black leather-like material. He had white leather boots that went up to his knees and had the same pale silver metal tipping the toes. Above his head an aurora circled and little flakes of snow would drop into his hair like falling stars. Danny himself changed also, he stayed a six-year-old, but his skin faded to a light blue, his freckles began to glow a bright green as they had earlier. His eyes changed and glowed with a similar green light, and his hair turned white as snow and seemed to float as if in water. His fingertips were a deep navy and clawed, his canines elongated and his ears became pointed. On his finger there appeared to be a ring made of onyx with a gem so bright a blue that it almost hurt to look at, though it didn’t seem to light up the place more than Danny himself.

The most startling thing to Clark however, was not his appearance. “Danny, why don’t you have a heartbeat?” he asked, projecting as much outward calm as he could muster while being twelve and internally freaking out.

Danny seemed confused for a bit before he seemed to realize something. “Oh, right, so right now I’m a ghost, and as a ghost I don’t have a heartbeat, you should be able to hear some sort of almost rhythmic buzzing though, that’s my core, it’s similar to a heart and brain for ghosts.” Clark listened closer and relaxed once he found the buzzing sound. It reminded him of the sounds of a plane engine in the distance.

“I also completely forgot that I never showed you my ghost form, so one sec, this one’s a lot brighter, I definitely don’t advise looking at this one.” Clark decided to listen this time, as the last time hurt his eyes.

In a flash of bright white light, Danny appeared once again differently than before. He kept the green eyes, snow-white hair and glowing freckles, but the rest of him looked more like his human form, albeit wearing a black and white full bodysuit. The suit itself was black with the stylized DP logo, white boots, white gloves and a white belt. Danny’s skin was a more healthy tan, though still a bit paler than his human form.

“So this is my usual ghost form, I’ve been able to change into it since I got my powers and it’s why my parents didn’t know I was who I was at first. It led to a lot of miscommunication and getting grounded even though I was out saving the day. Things have gotten much better since they learned about me and then looked at their research and realized a lot of it was wrong. I’m really proud of them, they looked at all their biased papers they had written over the years and instead of doubling down or letting it ruin them, they instead found a renewed vigor and are learning all they can. They’re releasing paper after paper correcting all the assumptions they had made now that they aren’t blinded by their prejudices.” Danny had a soft smile on his face as his eyes and freckles glowed brighter thinking about his parents. He yawned again. “I think I’ve dropped enough info on you for tonight though, so I’m gonna head to bed. You should too.” Another bright flash and Danny was back to being human, feet firmly on the floor.

“Yeah, I’ll do that. Sleep well Danny.” Clark appeared to have reached his limit for processing things as he put some dots together. As he lay awake in his bed he realized that Danny is going to be a king to literal gods.

And he thought his math final was stressful.

Part 1 Part 2

#dp x dc #dpxdc #fanfic #long post

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