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pathologicalreid · 2 months

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heyyyy how ruu

english is not my first language so i hope you can understand this u.u

this idea has been consuming my brain for days, sooo basically i was thinking about bau fem reader and reid doing undercover work (idk) and when they see the unsub, reader's first thought is to kiss reid so the unsub can't recognize them (and he wouldnt waste time in 2 ppl kissing???), then when reader sees the unsub going towards the exit even though she doesnt want to she breaks the kiss and everything is awkward but in a cute way??? yea idk if this makes sense feel free to change anything or to not do it at all :]

in plain sight | S.R.

your quick thinking (in an attempt to protect him) leads to a thankful spencer

who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: fluff content warnings: reader is explicitly referred to as a woman. general cm violence. making out (for the plot). haphazardly proofread. word count: 1.19k a/n: no worries anon, i understood this perfectly! thank you so much for requesting!

Your firearm was digging into your hip as you leaned up against the wall of the bar. You were on high alert as you looked around the building, scanning the faces of people who walked by.

“L/N, Reid, anything?” Hotch called into the radios. The team was across the street in a surveillance van.

Quickly, your eyes met Spencer’s, “No sign of the suspect.” Silently, you hoped that Hotch would pull you from the bar and let you go back to the hotel for the night, but you knew that wasn’t the way your unit chief played the game.

You were more or less trapped inside a college bar, your shoes were sticking to the old wooden floor, and because you and Spencer were the youngest members of the team, you were voluntold to go undercover.

Reid had never looked more out of place, but he was twelve when he started college, so you supposed he had never really been in a dive bar like this one before. “Hey,” you said softly, “Are you alright?” You knew he had a thing about germs, and if you were bothered by the sticky floors, you couldn’t imagine how he was feeling.

“I’m sure this comes as a surprise, but this,” he gestured to the partying college kids around you, “isn’t really my scene.”

A small laugh bubbled up from your throat, “Oh, no. I never would’ve guessed,” you played along with his sarcasm. “I’m afraid my shoes are going to come off when I try to walk,” you admitted.

He smiled slightly, “I’m trying not to think about it.”

Tentatively, you moved a little closer to him so you wouldn’t have to shout over the music. “I thought the UnSub hunted around ten?” You questioned. All of the bodies were usually found at midnight with lividity just barely beginning to show, meaning the victims were picked at ten, killed by eleven, and found at midnight.

They were calling him the Countdown Killer because he kept on such a tight schedule. “He should be,” Spencer answered, glancing down at the watch on his wrist.

You looked around the bar, the both of you had your backs to a wall, so you weren’t exposed on that side.

“Remember, if you spot him, do not engage,” Hotch ordered through your radios. You and Reid were simply there to find him, the rest of the team would handle the chase. “He’s likely been watching the news, so he may recognize your faces – don’t let him.”

While you weren’t entirely sure how you were supposed to hide your face from the suspect without seeming suspicious, you confirmed the plan with Hotch anyway.

A gleam of blonde caught your eye, narrowing your eyes, you focused on the figure. “Spencer,” you swatted at his hand, “two o’clock.”

Discreetly, Spencer’s gaze flickered over in the direction you had suggested. “Turn around,” Spencer said, “Don’t let him see your face.”

You turned around so that you were facing Spencer, looking away from the suspect. “What about your face?” You asked, surely the both of you staring at the brick wall would seem suspicious.

“He’s killing women. I don’t want him to notice you,” he responded, momentarily looking past you and at the suspect.

Surprised, you furrowed your brows at Reid’s statement, by having you face him, he was trying to protect you. You turned your face into your shoulder, “Suspect is in the bar,” you whispered into your mic.

There was recognition from the rest of the team before it went quiet again. “He’s approaching us,” Spencer said, faint alarm springing onto his features. He wasn’t talking into the radio; he was letting you know.

Spencer might’ve been outside of the victimology, but you couldn’t bear it if anything happened to him if the suspect recognized him.

Instinctively, you leaned up on your tiptoes and pressed your lips against his. You were kissing Spencer.

At first, he was surprised, but his hands quickly found a home on your waist as he kissed you back. Your lips worked gently on his as he eased his mouth open, deepening the kiss. Abruptly, Spencer dragged you closer to him by the waist. The sudden movement caused your eyes to flutter open.

In your periphery, you could see the dangerous blonde walking away. He must’ve walked right past you, and Spencer had pulled you away from him. You let your eyes fall shut again.

You reached up to sling your arms over his shoulders as he experimentally slipped his tongue into your mouth. Your heart raced as you were fully making out with Spencer in the college bar.

Reluctantly, you separated yourself from Spencer, “Is he gone?” You whispered, peering up at him through your eyelashes.

Spencer nodded, swallowing thickly. His cheeks were tinted pink, and you were sure you were flushed as well.

You pressed your mic button, not taking your eyes off Spencer’s, “Suspect’s exiting out the rear door,” you notified the team. Suddenly, your job was done, and you became conscious of Spencer’s hands where they still remained on your waist.

Hotch asked you to report to the van, and you took Spencer’s hand and led him out of the bar. The cool night air calmed your rushing blood. “Thank you for that,” he said from behind you as you halted to look for passing cars.

You spun on your heel to look at him, “Did you just thank me for kissing you?”

“I thanked you for distracting the suspect, so he didn’t recognize me,” Spencer corrected, squeezing your hand.

Instinctively, you dropped his hand, “Right, me and my quick thinking.” There was not a single clear thought in your head. You started crossing the street as Spencer called your name, obviously confused.

You yanked your earbud out while the rest of the team was rambling on about the takedown over the comms. “What just happened?” Spencer asked.

“We made out in a bar, and you thanked me for it,” you answered stiffly, leaning your back against the white van. “So, you’re welcome,” you said. Really, you didn’t know what you wanted from him, and you knew that Reid’s experience with women was limited at best.

Surprisingly, Spencer rested a hand on either side of your head and leaned intoxicatingly close to you, “Did you want me to say something else to you?”

You looked up at him, you weren’t sure you had ever noticed the green flecks in his eyes, “I had a few ideas, yes.”

“Here was my other option,” he told you, dropping his head so that your lips met once again. You gasped into his mouth in surprise. Hesitantly, you placed one hand on the side of his neck and the other in his hair. He used both of his hands to cup your face, kissing you with less urgency than you had in the bar as if you had all of the time in the world.

The both of you jumped when the passenger side door to the van swung open and Emily poked her head out, “You know we can see you in the side mirrors, right?”

#criminal minds #spencer reid #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid fanfic #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #written by margot #criminal minds fluff #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fic #criminal minds fic #spencer reid x fem!reader #margot's requests #spencer reid angst #criminal minds angst

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signedkoko · 7 months

Text

Mammon X Reader [Romantic]

In which you are a makup artist for the yearly clown pageant and its this years consultation period.

You'd worked for Mammon in previous minor gigs prior to the existence of the clown pageant

Fortunately, your skills had made you the optimal candidate to be hired for the yearly spectacle, which gave you a more consistent paycheck

Add rehearsals, prior auditions, and candidates hiring you for their personal practice rounds, the pageant eventually became your main source of income

This meant a lot of working with Mammon, or others closely tied with him

You'd seen years of participants lined up, eager to take part in being under your painters brush, always seeming to know how to paint someone in a way they liked

Mammon let you do things how you wished, though he did still insist on previewing your design choices a month prior to the show for any adjustments

He'd never changed a thing, so you assumed by now he trusted you, but as yet another year rolled by he had already knocked at your door with a time and date

It wasn't your place to complain, but flipping through a book of concepts you'd worked hard on while your boss blindly approved didn't seem like a very productive use of time

Nevertheless, you found yourself sat on the stretchy lines of web he called a chair, facing him and holding on in fear of falling

You had no idea why he liked being so high up, and assumed he got a kick out of seeing you struggle to balance

But without a change in his infinite smile, he encouraged you as per to show this years designs for all the finalists

" Well, the first one is double sided for those twins... "

As you flipped the page, a clawed hand pointed at the image, stopping you from moving on

" Yea, er, but what made you pick this? "

You nearly jumped at the interjection, an extremely new occurrence in something that had not changed in years

" As in, why did I pick this design? "

" Y'know, like, yeah! "

With every new design, he chirped in until you started giving a brief explanation behind your thoughts without prompting needed

As you picked up the habit and explained away, you managed to miss the moment his posture began to relax

By the time you'd closed the book to ask him his final note, you turned to see the lord had entirely fallen asleep

Though, he didn't look too bored, nor too tired, he just seemed peaceful

Regrettably, when you tried to move to get down the web shifted, and he stirred for a moment

Looks like you were stuck up there until he woke up

Author's Note - I like to think reader fell asleep too and then he didnt move so they wouldnt wake up either,,, oops

#koko writez #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel #helluva boss #helluva boss x reader #reader insert #x reader #mammon #mammon x reader

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pouringmyheartoutforpaper · 2 years

Note

i can’t stop thinking abt like semi vanilla sex with soft boyfriend steve… but he’s obviously daddy because casual dominance mixed into bedroom dominance 😚🤌

and he’s such a dirty talker “i know honey, you’re okay. i know, feels so good doesn’t it? daddy’s here. not going anywhere”

just so sweet and loving🥺

i have a very anxious attachment style and i just want him to hold me and fuck me and when i grab on to him he just shh’s me.

HERE IT IS. 'TIS DONE

Euphoria (s.h.)

i am so sorry i got SO carried away when i saw this ask. i had to turn it into a longer fic. thank you so much and i will def be using this again <3

first time fic, smut, fluff, shy!reader, reader is referred to as angel, bc y/n makes me cringe :< I based this off of the stancy sex scene bc steve in that makes me swoon.

steve is a gentleman, first and foremost. so when his angel starts to get desperate, he knows its time to come up with a plan. she doesnt even notice that shes showing it, but of course, steve analyzes her every move. hes worked out what she likes and how she likes it before they even talk about sex. poor angel is shy about all of it. she wants him, really bad. but hes taking things slowly for her own good. shes had one relationship in the past that shes still unlearning, hence why shes so shy around him. learning to look at sex as something enjoyable as opposed to a chore. angel wanted sex with steve, she didn’t dread it like other times.

steve made her feel safe, and genuinely beautiful. he makes her feel like a princess. angel was surprised when he kissed her and it felt good. it was passionate and felt like home. it didnt feel like she was being used, it felt like mutual adoration and love in a physical form. god, it felt amazing. she wanted more.

five months of comfort and bliss later, steve hasn’t made one sexual move on her. he appreciates what she gives him, but he knows they have all the time in the world. he knows shes "it" for him. shes his best friend. his angel will make it onto his lap, but when things pick up she gets shy. why wasnt he making a move? does he not want her?

which brings them to where they are now. steves hands wandering over her body, her propped up on his lap. her pretty sundress that started all this was riding up her thighs. her chest pressed into his. it was getting harder and harder to be a gentleman. he could see her lace bralette through her dress and he was ravenous. every bone in his body was aching to rip it off and kiss her all over. but he wouldnt. he would take her out first. make sure it's perfect. make sure its magical. make sure it's not on his living room couch at three in the afternoon.

“steve” it came out like a whimper “want more”

his breath hitched. and all he could think of was making angel his little wife.

“yeah baby?” he grips her hair a little, and rubs his thumb up and down the little area of skin right below her temple and next to her ear. “i want you too angel… how about ill take you out tomorrow night? and we’ll go from there ,yea? want you to think it through m’kay? ill give you whatever you want, you just have to ask.”

steve picked her up at five. of course, because it's steve, a candlelit picnic was in order. he had everything set up in the back of his BMW. opened the trunk, making sure a blanket was placed down before everything else. he didn't want her to get her dress dirty.

he was obscenely obsessed with the pretty white dress that went just above the knee. it had pretty little frills on the bottom, and a straight across neckline a few inches above her nipples. a shiny gold and pearl necklace, strappy gold two-inch heels angel fished out of the bottom of her closet. he was practically drooling. feeding her chocolate strawberries he bought at the farmers market down the street. she made flower crowns out of the little dandelions around the blanket. his heart full of love for her.

back at steves house, angel changed into her pajamas. some pink silk pants and one of steves sweaters. he made some tea and put out her favorite snacks on the coffee table for when she came back down. snuggling up to him and thanking him immensely for her day, and allowing her to stay over. to which of course he told her that he should be thanking her.

hours and hours of hugs and kisses that lasted a little bit longer than intended later, it was around eight at night.

"honey, do you wanna get ready for bed? i can put on a movie for us in my room if you want?" steve whispered as gently as he could into angels ear, lips brushing over the shiny earrings she was wearing.

"yes, please. thank you" it came out small, she was nervous. he can tell. he took her face into his hands, rubbing at her cheek lightly.

"listen to me doll, if you just want to watch a movie or cuddle or- just- whatever you want to do, I wont be upset. at all. i promise. i don't want you to feel nervous."

she smiled. " 'm not nervous,-" a little quieter, looking down at her socks, "im excited. just scared that I wont do a good job."

"hey, thats not what it's about babe, there's literally-" he scoffed, "- no way you could do anything wrong. promise." his hands wrapped around her waist, lifting her up and spinning her like she was a princess, making her laugh again. "if you want something just let me know l'right? if you're even like a little tiny bit hesitant you don't even have to say anything okay? no big deal" he held his hands up, emphasizing his last statement.

she gave him the biggest sweetest kiss in the whole wide world, the kind that made his brain go fuzzy and gave him a high that nothing else in the world could.

"c'mon babygirl" he broke the kiss, "gonna lock up the house, kay? go ahead and go upstairs 'nd lay down. ill put a movie on."

as he made his way around the house, steve went over everything he knew she loved in his head. images of her heat rushing to her cheeks, eyes blown wide, pretty thighs pressing together. steve knows what he's doing in bed, and he knows that. so he's not too nervous about his performance. he knows he can satisfy his angel, and he's anticipating every second of it. but the thought of undressing her, seeing her exposed and beautiful, had his breath hitching and his jeans getting tighter as he climbs the stairs to his bedroom.

a soft knock on the door, "honey, can I come in?"

"yes steve"

"hey baby-" and that was all he could get out before his jaw dropped and his pupils blew to two times their original size.

there she was, standing in his bedroom, with that same heat in her cheeks, same blown-out eyes. but this time, his angel was draped in a sheer lace robe that was hanging open, revealing her bare skin donned in sheer, floral lingerie. her nipples peaking through the fabric, skin glowing in the warm light from his bedside. a real-life angel.

"i-" she looked down at her feet, one arm swinging over her stomach in an attempt to cover herself, suddenly feeling very vulnerable, "-i thought it was pretty-"

"you're so gorgeous baby," closing the gap between them immediately, wrapping his arm around her hips, pulling her closer. placing his hand on the side of her freshly clean face. "I love you so much." capturing her lips in a fairytale kiss, trying to express as much love as he can with the gesture.

his arms wrapped around her waist, lifting her up into his arms. steve swears he's in a dream. angel's legs wrapping around his waist, grinding her cunt onto his stomach and devouring him.

"do you want me, love? tell me."

"yes please steve, 'm ready"

he lowers her onto the neatly made bed. he prepared his room the best he could when he woke up this morning. fluffing all his pillows, and washing his comforter. a bouquet of roses with her name on the tag laid on his bedside table.

"i love you, so so much sweetheart." his voice is soft and sweet, gentle and loving.

"i love you too."

slow, passionate, and messy kisses. slotting himself between her legs before pulling his shirt off. leaning down to kiss all over her face, smiling into each one. he moves down to her neck, licking and kissing all over. he finally lays his lips onto her jaw and sucks the soft skin into his mouth. a strangled moan leaves her lips. arching her back and running her hands all over his chest. steve pushes off his jeans and places a firm hand on her waist.

poor angel’s eyes widen at the outline of steves cock through his boxers. her face heating up and her hips moving on their own. it was huge. she knew steve was big. lingering stares at his bulge in his jeans (or sweatpants, or god forbid those little shorts) but seeing it so close was amazing.

steves hands traveled up her hips, right below her breasts. he stopped to look up at her. “is this okay lovey?”

“yes steve”

his hands palmed her tits over the veil of fabric. kneading the skin in his hands. placing kisses over both of them and humming into her chest. poor, poor angel. shes moaning at this point. making steves cock painfully hard.

“more please?”

he grinned. cocky as ever. “‘course baby.” before moving down her stomach, kissing a trail all the way down to her thighs. opening her legs and sucking the skin inside. working his way up till he got to her pretty, pretty cunt.

his soft breath on her. her scent flooding his senses and making him swoon. all he could think about was the beautiful angel in front of him, and how bad he wanted to eat her pretty pussy.

“can i kiss you here?”

her face flushed and mouth open above him made him melt. “please” she sighed, desperate.

his lips came down to place a kiss right on the front of her panties, before moving upwards to her pretty nipples. his jaw clenched from fighting the urge to devour her. kissing each of them before reaching to unhook her bra, asking her sweetly if he could take it off.

“yes steve, i love you”

shes just so adorable and desperate he just adores her. unhooking the floral fabric and sliding it off her arms. he gazes at her pretty tits, red around the nipple from how sensitive she is, and a small gasp falls from his lips.

“so beautiful baby. my good girl.” and angel is bucking her hips up towards him at his praise. unbelievably horny and already a little cockdrunk. “yeah, you wanna be my good girl? let me make love to you sweetheart.”

“i love you stevie,”

“i love you angel, always” and hes so content. adoring her, touching her, loving her. he moves down to her panties again, warm breath on her swollen clit. “is it okay if these come off angel? you look so beautiful in them, but I just wanna see you hon.” smiling fondly when she lets out a little “yes please.”

he hooks his thumbs onto the waistband, pressing kisses all over it before sliding them off. angel moaned when her cunt was hit by the cool air. steves eyes on her like he was going to ravish her. she was soaking wet, clit red and swollen, clenching by itself every few seconds. “so pretty,,,can i touch you here? ,,please baby.” briefly sitting up to admire his angel completely bare. cock throbbing and heart pounding.

“please d-stevie” and of course he knows what she was going to say. angel has called him daddy before, mostly jokingly, but hes an observant lover. so obviously he notices how much angel loves it when he takes care of her. he expected her praise kink, and he expected her to let “daddy” slip out once or twice. everyone called steve daddy sometimes, as a joke. but he liked it a little too much when she did it.

he kisses her sweetly, lips tangled with angel’s. before moving down to her pretty pussy. licking his lips before gently touching her folds, opening up her pretty flower. she whined and moaned. pretty little head filled with only thoughts of him.

"so pretty baby, so fucking beautiful. love you so much" reaching one of his hands to hold hers firmly, grounding her in reality. kissing up her thighs before coming back up to kiss her. "is everything okay?"

she smiled, both of their hearts warm and content. "yeah stevie. i want you."

passionate, loving, mind-blowing, earth-shattering kisses that stopped time for the next twenty minutes. his hands roamed all over her, her fingers twirling in his hair, making him moan into her mouth

steves fingers started to drag down her stomach, goosebumps decorating her skin as his palm rests on her clit. taking her bottom lip into his teeth before kissing her deeper. steve wants to get her ready for him, but shes so ready for him to let go and fill her up. angel's fingertips trailing down his happy trail, dipping under the waistband. pouting at him.

"what'd i tell you love? ill do anything for you, you just have to ask me." and he was right. he didn't do anything unless she specifically asked for it, which was why he was still straining against his boxers.

"want it off." pushing the fabric down unsuccessfully. pout still very prominent.

"thank you babe," and hes picking her up off the bed and switching their position swiftly. "you want to do it or me angel?"

"me! me." she said a little too quickly, making them both giggle a little. she leans up to kiss him, still grinning. pulling the waistband down his hips, slowly exposing more of him. just seeing the first few inches of skin showing had her head spinning and her face heating up. steve places his hand on her face as he lifts his hips a little allowing him to get rid of the extra fabric. moaning as his cock hits the air. springing straight up and lifting a weight off his shoulders. so delighted he almost didn't notice his angel's face. her eyes glassed over, mouth opening subconsciously. gazing up at him and letting out a small whimper. admiring him completely, the prettiest cock in the world.

"steve..."

"i know beautiful, y' look so pretty. cmon lovey, give me a kiss." maneuvering her face back to his. a soft grip on her hips, kneading the skin and rubbing up and down her back. heat pooling between their legs and flushing their skin. angel's fingertips trailing up the soft skin on his chest, gripping and kissing him everywhere the position would let her. his fingers find her cunt again, fucking her open on his hand slowly. her mouth open and moaning into his mouth.

"steve, steve, steve" she pulls away from his lips, staring at his flushed expression. "I wanna help you."

"fuck- alright sweetheart. go easy on me babe, want to stay like this forever." shifting his weight to make her as comfortable as he could. her lips trailing down his stomach, kissing and trailing her nails down his sides, making his hips jerk.

"can I touch you stevie?"

"i-" a deep breath racking through his body, "i'd love that baby."

the feeling of her lips kissing the neatly trimmed hair around his cock has him gripping the bedsheets. throwing his head back and groaning before immediately forcing himself to look back so he won't miss anything. gasping when her hand wraps around him, thumb and index finger lightly brushing the tip of his cock. "jesus christ babe. yeah,,, good job baby; keep going."

and she does just that, stroking him from the base of his cock all the way up to the tip. he's moaning filthily, almost embarrassingly. her lips meeting his tip in a soft kiss, making him shake a little, smiling down at her.

he has to pull her off of him when it gets a little too much for him. he still wants to last another hour or two, and with the way her mouth is moving on him makes him think otherwise. rubbing her shoulders as he pulls her back up to him, kissing her sweetly. flipping their position to where he's hovered over her. pressing their foreheads together.

"you want me to keep going hone-"

"yeahh-" it's a long and drawn out whimper. a soft smile and a chuckle leaving his lips in response, leaving them both giggling a little bit. giggles that quickly turned into moans when his hands went back down to her cunt, kissing her as softly as he could once again. his lips pressed against hers, making them both feel hazy and soft.

"okay baby, you gonna relax for me, yeah?" his hands coming back up to her torso, stroking slowly and sensually. moving down to her hips, lifting them up and placing a pillow underneath her. his angel's cunt exposed on display for him. his wandering hands back onto her body, leaning down to kiss her. pressing their bodies together, her soft tits against his chest, bare skin pressed together, making his breath hitch. his cock starting to press against her clit, creating friction as he started to rock against her sex. his angel whimpering and quivering from how sensitive she is.

"shhh, ive got you baby. ive got you. that feels good yeah? i know honey. god- you feel so good baby. good girl. my good girl." her pussy pulsating and contracting at his praise.

"want more steve, more please, i want you inside of me, please."

his eyes roll back into his head a little bit, feathering kisses onto her collarbones before leaning back up just enough to look at her. savoring the way her face turned red, a soft flush over her chest and neck. all the way down to her vulva, flushed and swollen with arousal.

"yeah baby? yeah? you want me inside you honey? want me to make love to my pretty girl?" voice breathy and adoring.

a whisper. soft enough that he could only hear because he was so in tune with her. "please daddy, love you stevie, please."

"oh baby, -fuck" stroking his cock before lining himself up with her lips, spreading her arousal around with his tip. "deep breath for me sweet girl, deep breath. ive got you okay? gonna take care of you. make love to my pretty baby. tell me if you want me to stop babygirl, ill be gentle with you, 'kay? ive got you."

finally, steve grabs onto her propped-up hips, kneading them soothingly. rubbing up and down her torso while he spreads her cunt open. legs open wide for him as he slides his thick cock inside her. the head of his cock inside her as she lets out a moan thats almost a scream. the stretch is euphoric. slightly painful, but it just fit so good inside her. making her throw her head back, giving steve a good view of her neck and tits.

his jaw slack and head thrown back in pure bliss. loud moans leaving his lips to match hers before leaning back down to her face.

"shh, shh, i've got you baby, good girl. i love you so much. you okay?" his cock halfway inside, massaging her clit with his thumb. working her open around him.

"'m okay stevie, want more please- steve!" his angel begged him. her voice desperate, making him shudder. he moves his hands up to hers, intertwining their fingers and rocking his hips into hers. leaning down to kiss her while he bottoms out inside her. her pretty cunt fluttering around him as he buries himself inside her. his lips moving down to her neck, sucking and biting the soft skin into his mouth. reveling in the way shes reacting, back arching and chanting his name.

"love you so much. god youre beautiful. you feel so good baby. so good." he groaned into her neck. steve imagines this is what heaven feels like. he's so in love with her, an all-consuming, comfortable love that makes him feel completely whole. a passionate love that makes him feel red hot and desperate.

"i love you so much steve, so much. feels s' good." her hand caressing his face, pulling him in for a lazy sensual kiss that makes time stop. his arms pulling her legs to rest on his hips. pulling away slightly to whisper into her lips.

"you want me to move, sweet girl? you feeling okay?"

"im okay steve, are you okay?", he smiles softly, providing a sincere affirmation. "please steve, i want you. all of you. forever."

he has to fight to not tear up at how much her words really affect him. the emotion and passion in the room being shared between the both of them. intoxicating and euphoric.

"i'm so in love with you," his hips pulling back and rolling into her again. moans filling the room, the sound of him making love to her messy cunt flooding his system. a deep, sensual rhythm developing. the trail of hair on his pelvis and stomach becoming increasingly slick. holding each other as close as possible, love flooding them with every intake of breath.

rutting and grinding into her. her hands running down his back and trailing kisses up his chest. gasping when his fingers pick up an unrelenting pace on her clit. working together to bring each other to the edge, enjoying every second of it.

"oh- steve" he could feel his angel's cunt clamping down on him. his cock twitching, so close to finishing. he's been close for the past hour, holding himself at the edge to make sure she finishes first.

"yeah baby? fuck- my good girl. what do you need from me sweet girl?" his thrusts becoming faster and more desperate, groaning and moaning into each others mouths.

"'m close stevie, 'm close"

"i know, i know baby. i love you, i want you to cum for me, sweetheart." the pace of his fingers on her clit remaining constant as she follows his orders. letting her climax build to its peak, babbling and desperate as he continues to work her through it.

"im gonna cum with you lovey, cum for me." and that's all it takes to have the knot in her stomach unravel. white hot pleasure racking through her body, vision blurring, and shes almost certain shes seeing stars.

"steve!" her moans mimicking screams, body writhing and jerking with her orgasm. enough for steve to let himself cum. his own orgasm flooding her cunt. muscles tensing and relaxing, a long, guttural moan falling from his slack jaw, eyelids fluttering shut and back open again to look at the angel in front of him.

euphoria

bodies relaxing and falling into the sheets below them. steve kissing up her neck and pulling her into another time-stopping kiss. still inside of her, holding her close to him and treating her like the most precious thing in the world. rubbing soothing circles into her cheek as he pulls out. comforting her when she whimpers.

"youre the best thing that's ever happened to me. that was so amazing. i love you so much." steve rasped, absolutely beaming at her.

"i love you so much steve, i think i just ascended." sending them both into a fit of giggles and kisses.

"i think I did too babydoll. lets get you cleaned up."

#steve harrington x you #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington smut #steve stranger things #steve harrington #steve harrington fluff #steve h #steve h smut #steve x reader #steve smut #stranger things smut #stranger things fic #stranger things x reader #stranger things #stevie thoughts <3 #stevie thoughts #stevie blurb #stevie x reader #stevie

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imakemywings · 7 months

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I am on the feanorians side of the silmaril debate and do see Dior and elwing as thieves. And I hope you dont see this as an attack i just want to explain my reasoning for the way i see it. But to me at least the stealing of the ships is an entirely seperate thing that happened, I know it happened because the silmarils got stolen in the first place. But it has nothing to do with the Dior and elwing part of the silmaril story. And thats why I dont bring up the stealing of the ships when talking about this

And I feel like Dior and elwing are thieves because they have the feanorians most treasured family heirloom and are refusing to give it back to them. And I think calling them thieves isnt exactly right because they didnt steal it from the feanorians and luthien and beren didnt either but it is wrong of them to not give it back. And the feanorians did first write letters asking to be given the silmaril back. The feanorians were wrong in kinslaying to try and get it back, but I do understand how they got to the conclusion to do so. They swore an oath to get it back and if they dont they will be in purgatory forever, so they really do have this need of getting it back even without considering the fact that its rightfully theirs to begin with.

As for for Dior and elwings part in this, I have more understanding for Dior than elwing. Dior is a new king and not well known to his people. And the silmaril to him represent a great deed done by his parents and their love for each other and I wouldnt be suprised if the silmaril was starting to become as important to Dior and his people as it was to the feanorians. So him not giving it away makes sense it has personal importance to him and giving it away could mark him as a weak king which is not something he needs. And it is also the fact that we dont know how much he knows about the feanorians oath and what it means he may know nothing at all about it.

Elwing on the other hand is completely different, I do not understand why she does the things she does at all. I will just be discussing the lead up to the kinslaying and not what happens during it, because I have read posts saying that her mental health may have crumbled during it and I do concede they have a point. But that doesnt explain any of the lead up to it. The feanorians ask for the silmaril and she tells them no and its like doesnt she realize that just like last time this can lead to a kinslaying, like does the thought even enter her mind and I dont understand how she could not see it as the likely outcome bu then she doesnt prepare for the eventuality at all. Its so puzzling to me, shes the leader and responible for the safety of everyone there but she doesnt seem to care about it. She doesnt even send her sons to cirdan were they would be safe from the feanorians. For elwing this has all happened before and she does nothing to change what will happen and it doesnt make sense.

So yea im on the feanorians side in this because the silmaril is rightfully theirs and while they did bad bad things to get them back i understand where they are coming from. Something i dont understand with elwing.

Hey anon, I definitely don't see this as an attack; I do appreciate your reasonable tone here.

If you're interested in other more detailed explorations of Elwing and her motivations, definitely check out my Elwing meta tag, because others on on tumblr have done some great work there.

The point I think the other anon was making about the swan ships is that fans can be very quick to condemn Luthien and her descendants as "thieves" of the Silmarils, but say nothing about the Feanorians' theft of the swan ships. No, the events aren't related, but one is a much clearer-cut case of theft than the other, yet it's the one that's swept under the rug to attack those who stand in opposition to the sons of Feanor (SoF). But you're right, it's not relevant to discussing Dior and Elwing in relation to the SoF.

Luthien and Beren, at great personal risk, obtained a Silmaril from Morgoth. I think it's relevant to note that at this point, the SoF appeared to have no problem with Luthien having possession of the Silmaril. In fact, Maedhros takes heart from their success and by it is inspired to begin his efforts which culminate in the Nirnaeth Arnoediad.

First, let's recall Luthien's history with the Feanorians at the point that she and Beren depart Doriath after Beren is restored to life:

Luthien is aware of the Kinslaying at Alqualonde and the theft of the swan ships, actions of shocking violence by Elves against Elves, and the Noldor's part in trying to conceal it from her parents.

Celegorm and Curufin feign friendship with her when she encounters them on her quest to rescue Beren, only to then trap her in Nargothrond. Celegorm plans to wed her against her will, which strongly implies he also means to rape her, in order to force Thingol to open the Girdle to the Feanorians.

Celegorm and Curufin overthrew Finrod's chosen successor, Orodreth, and the Arafinweans had been friends of Doriath. She may or may not be aware that Celegorm used the oath to threaten the residents of Nargothrond, implicitly threatening violence against them.

After Luthien has escaped and rescued Beren from Sauron, she encounters Celegorm and Curufin again. Curufin attempts to kidnap her, and Celegorm then attempts to kill Beren when he leaps to her defense.

Celegorm openly makes threats against Thingol and Doriath.

So at this point, you can perhaps see why Luthien does not feel a lot of need to play nice with the SoF. From her perspective, they're pretty scummy people who are more than willing to commit violent acts against other Elves. At no point does Maedhros reprimand or punish Celegorm or Curufin for their actions, which as the leader of the Feanorians, suggests he doesn't think what they did was wrong. Why should she cooperate with them? They didn't risk their lives to obtain one of their Silmarils. If the Silmarils were as important to them as they claim, why haven't they tried harder? She and Beren, with far fewer resources, managed to do it.

Additionally, the Feanorians do not make any effort to reclaim the Silmaril from Luthien during her life. Possibly because she took down Morgoth (briefly).

"For while Luthien wore the Necklace of the Dwarves no Elf would dare to assail her..." (Of the Ruin of Doriath)

So she dies and the Silmaril goes to Dior, her son.

To Dior, the Feanorians are the unquestioned villains of his parents' story. These are people who openly threatened his grandfather's kingdom, who tried to force his mother into marriage and imprisoned her, who tried to kill his father. Sure, you can argue that they have an ancestral claim on the Silmaril--but cannot Dior also make that argument at this point? And what motivation does he have to cooperate with them? They do nothing to win his friendship, as they have done nothing to win the friendship of Doriath throughout their time in Beleriand. If Maedhros is such a formidable diplomat, why can he not come to terms with Dior?

"They [the Feanorians] came at unawares in the middle of winter, and fought with Dior in the Thousand Caves..." (Of the Ruin of Doriath, emphasis added)

Furthermore, to your point, Dior is a young king--and a mortal among Elves. Doriath is also recovering from the war with Nogrod; they are already in a vulnerable position, and with Melian gone, the Girdle is down, so they are far more exposed than they are accustomed to being and having to adjust to that.

So Dior does not relinquish the Silmaril, and rather than pursue the two held by Morgoth, the Feanorians assault Doriath, kill many Elves, throw at least two children out into the woods to die of exposure, and still fail to capture the Silmaril.

So Dior dies and the Silmaril goes to Elwing, his daughter.

Consider what the Feanorians represent to Elwing at this point.

These are Elves who have shown themselves to be unrepentant killers. We as the fans love to focus on the tormented regret of the Feanorians, but to their victims, they are simply killers. They committed slaughter in the Blessed Realm, for which they were exiled by the Valar, and for which they have expressed such regrets--except that they've gone and done the same thing here in Beleriand. They have threatened forced marriage, they have killed children, they have driven the Iathrim from their home and made them refugees. To Elwing personally, they are the murderers of her parents and the ones who dragged her brothers into the woods as children and left them to die.

What, precisely, might motivate Elwing to cooperate with them? So the Silmaril "belongs" to them--so what? They have tormented Luthien's line for generations now--the Feanorians ARE the Morgoth of Elwing's story. And she should give into them why? The Ring belongs to Sauron--should Frodo hand it over because it's his property?

Maedhros, who has apparently lost all diplomatic veneer, does nothing to show good faith or a desire to cooperate with Elwing. Instead, he writes with his demands, as he did with Dior.

The one thing--the ONE thing--that might make Elwing cooperate is, to me, solely to avoid another slaughter as happened in Doriath, as you mentioned. So in this vein, why doesn't Elwing surrender the Silmaril just to avoid trouble, even if she hates and distrusts the Feanorians? There are two things which are absolutely key to understanding this decision.

1.Elwing does not make the decision alone. Critics of Elwing often act as though she made a unilateral decision to withhold the Silmaril from the Feanorians--which is not the case. In fact, Tolkien writes that "Elwing and the people of Sirion" refused to yield the jewel under threat.

This is not an unusual response. Most people do not respond well to being threatened, and may refuse out of spite. Furthermore, these are people who were made refugees by the same people now making demands of them.

But more importantly, Elwing did not alone choose to keep the Silmaril. She and whatever Sirionites aided her in governing decided together that they would not give in to the Feanorians.

2. The second is that the Sirionites believed the Silmaril was protecting Earendil and the Havens. Remember that at this time, Earendil is seeking for Aman, to obtain the help of the Valar in defeating Morgoth. So not only is he the lord of the Havens at Sirion, but he is on a quest which is, to them, of critical importance. They need him to stay safe so that he can complete his mission and hopefully win Beleriand's rescue.

And to your point about Dior above--this Silmaril is effectively a family heirloom to Elwing as well.

The Sirionites are particularly loath to part with the Silmaril while Earendil is at sea--which makes sense, as he is a ruling lord of this city, and they believe his protection is somewhat dependent on their possession of the Silmaril.

But the Feanorians don't wait for Earendil to return to negotiate--they lay siege to the Havens at Sirion while Earendil is still away ("For the sons of Feanor that yet lived came down suddenly upon the exiles of Gondolin, and the remnant of Doriath" Of the Voyage of Earendil and the War of Wrath, emphasis added) and render the Iathrim virtually extinct as a people. Once again, they come down "suddenly" on another group of Elves and destroy them.

What the Feanorians do in the Havens at Sirion is so awful ("the cruelest of the slayings of Elf by Elf") that their own troops stand aside or even turn against them during the fight in an effort to defend the Sirionites; the Feanorians kill them too.

This, to me, tells us how far the Feanorians are from attempting any real diplomatic work here. They are not even considering the Silmarils that Morgoth still has; they have utterly failed to reach Elwing in a diplomatic or cooperative manner; they refuse to even wait until Earendil has returned so that he and Elwing can make a decision together, as joint rulers of this city.

Why doesn't Elwing fortify the Havens? We have no evidence that she doesn't. Only that it wasn't enough to stop the Feanorians. Why doesn't she send Elrond and Elros away? That poses its own risks--and she may believe they are safest there, as the Sirionites believe the Silmaril is protecting the Havens. It may be incorrect, but it is something they believe and they operate under that belief.

But even if you think she didn't do things she should have--does that justify the actions of the Feanorians? It's fine for them to murder because their victims didn't do enough to prevent them from murdering? You took our object so we can kill you for it now?

Putting all that aside for now, I want to jump over to the oath, because you mentioned something interesting about it:

They swore an oath to get it back and if they dont they will be in purgatory forever

Purgatory and hell do not exist in Ea. What exactly the Feanorians think their "punishment" for breaking the oath will be is unclear, whether it's just death without the chance for rebirth (as is the case with Feanor, and seems to be the most extreme punishment the Valar can or will enact), or something more. Clearly they put a lot of stock in it--but they also are not totally beyond the notion of breaking it. Maglor himself suggests after the Third Kinslaying that they should abandon the quest and plead their repentance to the Valar, but Maedhros refuses.

Maedhros seems to still believe they may suffer some punishment for breaking it--that Eru might actually hold them to the oath they swore. But Maglor counters with the notion the oath can be voided:

"Yet Maglor held back, saying: 'If Manwe and Varda themselves deny the fulfillment of an oath to which we named them in witness, is it not made void?'" (Of the Voyage of Earendil)

And of course, why would Manwe and Varda hold them to an oath which has caused so much strife, and which promises to cause more? Why should they desire the Feanorians to be held to an oath which causes them to murder and destroy other Elves? Maedhros refuses, still believing, or at least asserting, that some punishment by Eru awaits if they break the oath. Maglor somewhat grimly points out that given what they've done, punishment is their due one way or other other:

"'If none can release us,' said Maglor, 'then indeed the Everlasting Darkness shall be our lot, whether we keep the oath or break it; but less evil shall we do in the breaking.'" (Of the Voyage of Earendil)

Maglor acknowledges that they have done evil in pursuit of the oath and that they will continue to do evil if they do not choose to set it aside. Furthermore, that if they cannot be excused from the oath, they're likely to experience punishment either for breaking it or for the things they do in pursuit of it, so it's all the same in the end anyway. Yet Maedhros and Maglor instead make a free and conscious decision to continue their pursuit of the Silmarils.

They are a) well aware that they have done horrible, awful things trying to fulfill this oath; and b) aware that breaking it is an option. They choose not to. They have chosen not to this entire story.

And truthfully, even if they would be condemned to purgatory or whatever, it doesn't justify what they do. They chose to swear this oath, they have chosen to pursue it, and if they are willing to slaughter whomever they need to to protect themselves from the consequences of their own oaths, that still makes them selfish, wretched people who are willing to sacrifice anyone else to make sure they themselves stay safe.

Even if they were able to obtain the one Silmaril from Elwing, the oath is not fulfilled. Morgoth still has two. Everything they did to Doriath and the Havens at Sirion is worthless without the other two Silmarils, but they did it anyway; and even after the chaos wrought by their actions there, go ahead and slay Eonwe's guard after the War of Wrath to steal the Silmarils everyone else had rescued from Morgoth.

The Feanorians have done so much wrong that the Silmarils themselves reject them by the end. I don't know how else the narrative could make it clearer they are in the wrong. Tolkien implies that the oath was wicked from the very start, and always bound to lead the Feanorians into wrongful acts.

Lastly, I will point over at this meta I wrote a few months back about how if the Feanorians had obtained the Silmaril from Elwing, it would likely have doomed Middle-earth to Morgoth's rule.

In any case, I don't think anyone who escalates a situation to murder is ever in the right, and certainly not over something like property rights. If you can sympathize with the Feanorians about their perspective, you should be able to consider what the Feanorians are to the perspective of Luthien's line--and why they are not keen to work together with the Feanorians or give them what they want.

Not sure if you found any of this convincing, but I hope it's something to consider at least!

#asks #anonymous #elwing defense

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bapouro · 20 days

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If you have the time and if it’d be fun at all, can you talk about how going to school for art is/was? Like what was bad about it but what did it make you realize about why you create? What was originally incomprehensible that became digestible after being surrounded by it? I’m just curious because I really only got into art after college age.

ive finally handed in my final project ever last friday and after somewhat recovering i can now answer u. (ill put an aside here that before i started uni, i saw a lot of the online umming and awing about art school and it being a scam etc that made me nervous going into it. i dont really think it has been for me but keep in mind im doing this in the uk. i think if i was in the usa or somewhere where it was that expensive i think youd get just about as many benefits going to somewhere like a community college instead. its worth a bit of money but not a lot of money.)

i realised while turning over your questions in my head last week how much doing my degree (illustration undergrad) during covid lockdown, illustrated (haha) the point art school had for me. and the point being that after trying to stick it out for the first few terms during lockdown, i deferred, i didnt really see the point i had already spent my entire life making art in my bedroom online for free, without somebody telling me what to do. practically what that degree offered me was physical facilities and resources, but really what i wanted it for was that vague miasma of drive and something bigger than myself to physically 'prove' myself to. i was and still am very interested in that gap between the online environment i learnt art within that felt a world away from my 'real life', and coming to meet with that 'real life' was kind of my goal. i needed both to meet on a very basic level for my quality of life. and id say i succeeded. twice now somebody i was originally mutuals with online turned out to be in my class. i live with one of them now. and i feel some pride now looking back on how much i felt like i had to separate my 'school' art and my 'personal' art during secondary school and now theyre practically one and the same. in fact one piece of advice ive kept with me from the uni tutors here is they consistently wish the students wouldnt 'hold back' so much on the kind of work they make: one of my friends, the one i now live with, was doing a tasteful furry pinup statue for a project and one of the tutors essentially asked them why the statue was being so sexually subtle with it, for example.

so what was bad about it! man... thinking about it the same reason i gave for why i came back after lockdown could also point out how flippant the reasoning was. its still a lot of time and effort let alone money to be putting into something that you dont Need an institution for. and art and academia, as much as you might try, arent going to be as neatly married as maybe STEM and academia. not that there isnt a place for it. we need it in there. but basically your work still has to get 'graded' on things so they can prove themselves as an institution so they can still get money to run. i ''apreciated'' the deadline part, for what it was, because i was(/am) a serial put-er off-er and i knew i needed something big to try and train me out of it. but the actual mark scheme and trying to work off of it is never not going to be nebulous. what the hell does it mean to 'demonstrate my awareness of the changing landscape of contemporary illustration' graded between 0 - 100 via a 3d animation. ive done pretty well. sometimes id get top marks. a couple times i wouldnt even pass and id have to do it again. the only pattern i could really see between what got those marks for me and what didnt was effort? so take with that what you will.

yea that being said, what it helped me realise why i create... i am thankful my particular course at my particular uni is so into their experimentation / medium diversity. because it proved to me again that experimenting is something i love to do. i could keep doing it forever maybe. but that also made me realise after trying to do that project after project that its only one part of the enjoyment. i couldnt sink my teeth in as much as i wanted. part of why im glad to leave is im glad to try and focus on just a few things now. take a project at my pace... reeeally get way too into it. hopefully.

what was originally incomprehensible that became digestible after being surrounded by it? mm.. i think getting to see a lot of the behind the scenes and the people actually doing illustration as a job kind of softened my glare on some art styles / ways of working i dislike. not that i Like them now but that kind of flat illustrator thing.. for some people it really is more of a job than anything else. i think thats fine. theres all kinds of other art to enjoy outside of their 9-5. i just hope they like it too. but of course it does set a precedent for what clients expect/what you feel like you should be making..? oh also i did actually end up really enjoying the couple of art essays we needed to write. reading cultural/art/etc pdf essays was something i already liked to do like reading baudrillard and ellen dissanayake and things but it was great to actually get to apply it in writing. and i think it certainly became more digestible to realise that these kinds of writers and this kind of writing wasnt some hard to penerate academia i couldnt be a part of really but turned out to be writing about things that already applied to life, whether i went to uni or not. really the whole experience... for me i felt like it was just something i needed to do. if anything just to get away from my family and make my own life. im glad i did it. but really art is art no matter where you find it. uni gave me a push to go further, i could sit around and say i couldve done it without uni but i think we overestimate ourselves. i think i couldve but i bet it wouldve taken longer and i may have experimented less, challenged myself less. who knows. just dont ever let something like that put you off art, it will always find you again eventually. im glad you got into it too.

#ive not even graduated yet so im sure ill have a lot more thoughts on it soon when ive turned it over more #but theese are the fresh ones

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cloudcountry · 9 months

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I have no idea who or what lucio is. Explain it to me like I'm 5 or something like that

hes a character in the arcana that half the fandom hates with a passion and half the fandom adores. hes done some fucked up shit umm i dont even think i remember everything

just realizing that i wouldnt have sworn so much if i was explaining this to a five year old oops

HERES YOUR CHILD EXPLANATION:

he's a really immmature goat man that ruined the lives of hundreds of thousands and has also killed countless people with his blade and poor decisions.

SPOILERS FOR LIKE EVERYTHING UNDER THE CUT

he ruined muriel's life by forcing him to fight in the arena thing for his entertainment, imprisoned asra's parents to force them to make his golden arm, he traumatized julian who is a doctor during the plague that HE brought to vesuvia, he made a bunch of really bad devil-powered deals that he DIDNT FOLLOW THROUGH WITH for power, killed his own dad because he felt entitled to the power his father had, he acts like an entitled manchild and is super immature???

OH RIGHT AND ITS ALSO HIS FAULT THAT THE MC DIED IN THE FIRST PLACE

so yea hes a bad person. and his route could have been handled better, because theres a scene were hes lamenting about his past and you have to choice to say "i forgive you" or "this is a lot to unpack" or something and to get the UPRIGHT ANSWER (aka the good ending) YOU HAVE TO FRGIVE HIM????? i pick the "this a lot to unpack" answer EVERY TIME BECAUSE ARE YOU SERIOUS???

YOU JUST LEARNED THIS MAN WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR DEATH AND YOURE LIKE YEA LEMME FORGIVE HIM. LIKE OK SURE HES TRYING TO CHANGE BUT FOR FUCKS SAKE MC DONT TREAT IT LIKE HE TOOK ONE OF YOUR PENS WITHOUT ASKING???

BITCH YOU DIED.

but yea yk thats lucio and also hes bisexual so yay but they all but lucio actually had an affair with that wine sipping fella i think so yk

anyways yeah AJHJSGFDHAGSFD

#vio <3 #auburn talks the arcana <3

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kattythingz · 12 days

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Yea, no. Just watched episode 26 and up until this episode I actually liked Winry and Edwin in fma03. Winry actually had me ripping my hair out in this episode. So, Ed uses alchemy to win a contest and earns money that she immediately claims and says its for her. Cool I guess. Then she beats the fuck out of him with a wrench, and calls him a jerk for winning with alchemy instead of losing with her automail. Friendly reminder the fight had jack shit to do with her, Ed went because the guy called him a shrimp.

THE GUY HE WAS ARM WRESTLING WITH HAD THIS HUGE ASS WEAPON AUTOMAIL, ED WAS NOT GOING TO WIN WITH HER AUTOMAIL ALONE.

And then to make matters worse, she just walks off for the entire night like the Barry situation wasn't gonna be in Ed's brain. Then she just lets Paninya steal his watch???? HIS STATE ALCHEMIST WATCH??? How is she gonna choose this random girl she just met over her best friend of like 15 years.

So after she basically acts like a terrible bitch the entire episode...she gets to break down and cry over some automail????? and Ed sits and validates her bs???? Mind you nothing even happened to his automail in this episode. And the fact that he wouldnt have won is really only because his arm was meant to act as a prosthetic, not a weapon. A regular prosthetic vs a weapon automail is not a fair fight.

Winry is just extremely extremely annoying in this episode. Hopefully she gets better as the series goes on but this episode really dissapointed me because I actually love Winry as a standalone character.

This one is unrelated but I kind of like that in 03 Al wasn't on board with bringing their mom back to life. In brotherhood Al was always saying "it was my decision too" but in 03 I feel like it really makes things harder on Ed because he had to keep convincing Al every step of the way that bringing their mom back was a good thing. Then after Al lost his body it truly was Ed's fault because Al didn't even want to do it in the first place. NOT HATING ON ED OF COURSE BECAUSE HE WAS LIKE 10 YEARS OLD AND DIDNT KNOW ANY BETTER, but I've always been a sucker for darker themes and Ed having to shoulder all the guilt for everything is just another way that 03 differs from brotherhood. It's subtle differences like these that make 03 great. Brotherhood was great too but 03 just has a way of tugging on the heart strings.

Oof, yeah. Winry's reactions are def over-the-top in that episode. Altho, tbh, I don't really take comedic violence in anime seriously. It's such a common trope that even if I don't personally find it funny, ik it's not meant to be serious. In the same vein, you could argue Ed hits Ling a lot too, you know? Or that he does nothing but curse at him. It's not meant to be literal, I think.

But yeah I do agree that her siding with Paninya was... weird. And like fr that was literally his state alchemist watch?? His ID??? It's kind of an overreaction to take something not personal so personally. But that's all coming from a place of being jaded to anime bs too, sigh. I do agree that edwin is better in 03 tho!!! I liked that it was more subtle, open to interpretation, if you will, so if you WANT you can still see them as platonic. I love vague relationships.

AND YEAAAH RIGHT? THE FACT THAT IT REALLY IS ED'S FAULT THIS TIME. And 03 makes the perfect changes to match the weight of that (as you'll see in future episodes). Overall it makes complete sense why Ed matures more than his fmab counterpart. It's the trauma babyyyy ✨

#katmail #fma

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floshav · 1 year

Text

are you alright? pt.2

this is a continuation to pt 1 so go check it out if u havent!! i mean obv or else this wont make sense

nerdy!draco but he's cool too

fluff

angst

ps the pic is so cute

fem!reader x draco

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Snapes eyes were fixated on y/n's the whole time with just a few glares shot back at malfoy.

"so.... care to explain..?" snape slured while tucking both his pale arms conspicuously behind his back.

"Nothing sir. I was just bringing y/n back to her dorm for misbehaving." Draco studiously said with his hand still in y/n's yet the grip was harder this time, as if he was trying to show snape some sort of authority.

"misbehaving... misbehaving for what exactly?" Snape inquired while his eyes were now fixed on both their hands.

"for... uh- uhm needing to.. use the washroom this late at night." Draco stupidly spat out while stuttering over each word

"and why exactly would she need escorting back just for using the.... washroom?" snape asked cynically while his jaw tensed up

"B-because i accidently.. stumbled my way to the boys washroom you see.... and i dont think draco and i have an established friendship for him to trust me enough to get back to my dorms. Thats why Proffesor." y/n reckleslly and mindlessly said with wide eyes.

"Ah-ah yes! that's right! I caught her near the boys washroom y-yes." draco stammered while looking y/n right in the eyes with a cartoonish manner.

"i see.... i trust you will escort her back in no time draco. I shall see myself out... And... mrs..? y/n was it? if you ever see yourself 'stumbling' into places where you do not belong again.. you shall see yourself cleaning my potions lab after school hours." Snape dragged before finally seeing himself out in a blink of an eye.

"What. the. hell. Why did you get all the praise?! while i was left in the dirt!! to hell with this school i tell you." y/n heatedly said now letting draco's grasp leave hers.

A slight yet not so visible smirk curled upon draco's face leaving him now with a smug yet 'attractive' look which would appeal to any girl except y/n. Right? right.

"Look, if youre so upset about it i can give you all the praise in the world you know. Just gotta ask." Draco conceitedly said while his lips were still caught in a smirk.

By this time, y/n's face had probably gotten a deep rush of red like the first night of any girls period. Luckily for her, the hallway was pitch black since snape left.

"Oh shut up malfoy , i can smell your... whats that? oh yea, non existent charm from a mile away. So where were you dragging me anyway?" Y/n quickly projected while abruptly changing the subject.

"Here." And with those words.. or should i say one word, draco began to drag y/n by the wrist all over again into a direction still unbeknownst.

Before y/n could ask why or where, they found themselves infront of the newly prepared letter week board. The board contained every year 9th, 10th and 11's names neatly stapled onto a basket where the letters would get exchanged in.

"so... would you like to get some revenge or nah." Draco cooly said while whipping his arm around her shoulder smoothly.

"what do you mean? we're infront of a... board. how exactl-" once again she was cut off by his so needed explanation.

"You see Darcy's name? Right there, Above yours. i still remember that time her basket was so overfilled with letters that one somehow slipped into yours. The look of pure joy that was crushed almost immedietly was quite entertaining i must sa-" before he could finish that sentence y/n hit his shoulder hard enough to shut him up.

"speak of that again, and i. will. end. you." Y/n said with zero remorse.

"getting ended by you wouldnt be TOO bad... okay ill stop." draco said with a slight chuckle at how mad she looked.

"so whats the plan?" She now asked with curious eyes.

"Im going to put a fake confession in there by yours truly, draco lucius malfoy. Then... ill ask her to meet up at the astronomy tower but just stand her up anyway." Draco said coldly with no signs of disgust for the actions just mentioned.

"isnt that... a bit too mean. I would be kinda upset if the love of my life DEFINITELY not draco lucius malfoy, just stood me up." y/n said with slight hessitation laced through her words.

"Look. Its either this or you never get the revenge you so very deserve." he said now facing her, dead in the eyes.

"Okay.. fine. But if anyone asks, this was 500 percent your idea." She now said with less hessitation before.

The letter:

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To: Darcy sinclair

Hello darcy. My apologies for never hitting you up before, i guess i just hadn't had the brains to realise what i truly wanted was right in front of me. Yes. You. Thats what i want. Meet me at the astronomy tower tonight, to mark your very first day of letter week. Wear something nice.

draco

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

"This is going to end terriby. I can already feel it creeping up on me." She said with regret flowing through her eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That marks the end of pt 2!! only 865 words tho.. so kinda short but whatever. ill have part 3 out soon if this does well too!! the last part got like 8 notes, so i was kinda shocked it even got any traction at all... leading me to writing this lolll THANK YOU THO!

#draco x reader #draco #dracomalfoy #hogwarts #harrypotter #fanfic #harry potter fanfic #draco x y/n #draco fanfiction #angst #fluff #oneshot #fanfiction #hp fic

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dateamonster · 8 months

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Who's the oldest OC you have that you still use? How have they changed since you first made them?

its definitely the cast of volatile traits, so technically auree since i THINK i came up with her concept first. tho im not sure if it was actually first or if i made her and wendy simultaneously. i kind of like the idea of the second. some soulmate shit you know.

ANYWAY auree and wendy have definitely changed a bit over time, and a lot of that i think is like rooted in changes in the overall Lore. but in a more personal character-related sense, i feel like i place more emphasis on auree's intelligence and like particularly emotional intelligence than i did. she was more of a brute when i first made her, and while shes still a reckless largely remorseless fuckin tank of a gal, its more important to me now that that doesnt translate into her being stupid.

with wendy her backstory is def more developed now and also much more like deliberately out-there. originally her dad was just a bigoted hardcore xtian rather than being like a cult leader prophet doomsday prepper, in addition to being a hardcore xtian. i dont rly know how to rationalize that choice except that i guess i just wanted something that felt more like b-movie flavored over real life traumatic experiences flavored.

she was also more of a typical Smart Girl character to start, and while shes still smart its not like the main thing about her anymore. i think i also wanted to change that focus because i was afraid of her coming off like a stereotypical nerdy asian girl.

it was also definitely kind of a weirder less balanced dynamic between the two of them at the start, where wendy was more the stable rational one who had to teach the alien how to navigate the world, which isnt like a terrible concept imo but looking back im like much less into how it affected them romantically. when i was a teen i had such a thing about like all my lesbian couples being "girl who is Normal and slightly shy and who has been Mostly Straight up to this point" x "girl who is way more romantically forward and wont accept/cant understand rejection". something something glaring internalized homophobia. you know.

i dont want to be too hard on my teen self because like i was young and Dealing With Stuff and if not for who i was back then i definitely wouldnt have these characters as i have them now, but yea im a lot happier with where they are now.

#ask #ocs #volatile traits #oc: wendy phillips #oc: auree

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penny-quinn · 2 years

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Happier....

pairing: hoshi × reader!

Genre: fluff, slice of life, high schoolers, first love...

Word count: 3.2k

warnings: none that I know but if any please do tell!

prologue: hoshi had moved to a new town as a highschooler. Meeting y/n how would his life change?

A/n: sorry, it's not as good as I wanted it to but I'm kinda tired of drafting it again and again. Sorry that I couldn't tag the owner of the collaboration but it's a fic from collaboration where it revolves around baking.

I know, it's not as good as I had thought but yea... It's kinda dry. It wouldnt have even got to be released if I hadn't shifted as I finally realized of how much I loved writing. Also look out for more updates.

"hello! I'm hoshi Kwan!" The sweet little boy smiling bright like a sunflower brightens up the classroom with his smile as his tiny eyes squinch to form like that of strokes of the calligraphy."Now you maybe seated with, umm, yes! Y/n San. Over there" the homeroom teacher points out as he slowly steps towards her and places his bag near the desk.

" Hello, I'm hoshi" he introduces while helding out his arms "And I'm y/n." She says while reaching his palms.

January had just stared a few days ago and yet the new sessions had begun. Children's were enrolled and the hallways of the academics were bustling once again. The liveliness awoke in the classes and the school environment itself. Heart filled nervousness of the newly admissioned ones while the rest were soo ready to catch-up with their fellas.It was a huge change for hoshi as well; shifting from his hometown to this city….. yet he was optimistic as ever. It was their highschool's first year. A true upgrade from the past years. Finally the time to be a senior!

"Hey y/n"

"Umm?"

"Aren't you good at studies ?"

"Well, I am. Why?"

" Cuz my grades aren't so good?"

"Then you should've studied, loser" she giggles as she stretches her arms up.... And walks away.

What a rude way to speak he thought while blood rushed to hoshi's face. Turning him red as a cherry.

You wouldn't wanna mess with her… she's a little cheeky but loyal than those sugary liars" the nerdy looking guy nonchalantly poked his words.He looked no less ordinary yet not at all. That cold glaze around him seemed freezing cold but at least he wasn't he wasn't like her. Striding his long legs he went his own way." Uh! Why do I even think of that rude girl" he scolds himself.Genuinely smiling, he pushed himself; his legs running on their own, he put his arms around the guy " I'm Kwon hoshi!"

" Jeon wonwoo" the guy says yet his lips failed to keep a straight face. The radiance that Hoshi spread had reached the depths of his heart.

Well atleast not the rest of the students weren't as rude as her! Hoshi thought intertwining you into his thoughts. The guy named wonwoo, he was cool…. Chill, introverted and sarcastic as ever. Wonwoo brought chills to his adrenaline and Hoshi loved that feeling.

It was tough knowing that in school time would pass even before having the time to comprehend. With that said, hoshi too felt tight-lipped as the bell rang and phew, last subject before arriving home.The end classes were filled with Extra- classes. The subjects chosen for bringing out the creativity in the students.To hoshi's unknown, y/n too was a part of baking group. Astonishing right? But then again subjects weren't ment to be chosen because of grades…. Or so did you thought.

"Ohh, y/n why are you here?"

" Cause I'm a part of it?"

" Huh? Why is a good ranking students like you comming here?"

"Because I want to you idoit"

"Uhh, what ever"

Soon the teacher enters and the class starts. She started off with her introduction and informed " I'll be choosing you all into pairs. It'll be a group work this year so try to get along with your peers"

As unlucky you could be she drew out your name with hoshi….uhh, how horrific you thought. Pairing up with hoshi was no good. In order to pass, he had taken the baking classes for his curriculum and he was horrible at it.The only thing he did? It was to talk while you? You poured your heart and soul into the cooking.

"HOSHI! STOP MAKING A MESS YOU FOOL"

" I was just picking up some flour"

" No you weren't. If you don't have interest then rather don't join the class"

" And how would you know if I had interest or not? Miss topper?"

"Through your actions of course"

" As if! MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS" And the annoying bickering was like a circumference; neverending.

Your actions with hoshi, it was very surprising… even to yourself. The collectively known calm girl was now throwing a fit to a newly admissioned boy.What a weird twist of heart and fate….But the twsit didn't end their. The baked goodies were out of the oven and to everyone's suprise hoshi's were damn good, while yours were kinda cracked.

"Look who was talking. You should've minded your own business, topper." HOSHI smirked with smug on his face. He truly felt victorious.

The blood ran cold between the two since then. Ambushing eachother with underhanded comments. But only the two knew; they brought the best and the worst of each other.

" Ha! She deserved to lose. Always so commanding" hoshi gossiped with wonwoo at the rooftop. Wonwoo was busy playing the game of doors; finding the clues to open the lock." Hey!!!! BROO! Listen to ME" hoshi shouts to wonwoo…. The guy totally ignored his buddy just for the game????" Yea yea, I am listening to your rants" his weary eyes tore his eyes from the game screen and instead looked at the ground.

The ground where he stared at was at the back which meant that not many came there. A pair of highschool lovers were there; as much as he didn't have any interest in glancing at their date, he couldn't help but squinch his eyes… adjusting to the distance. Immediately recognizing the guy and girl, he couldn't help but ugly his face in distastefully. Almost as if a pungent smell was reeking off….

" What are you looking at?" Hoshi wraps his hands around wonwoo's shoulders as he whispered into his ears" AH! hey! Don't talk to my ears' ' wonwoo was embarrassed; after all he did have a very sensitive ear. They'd turn bright cherry red.

" Look at them. He's y/n's boyfriend and that girl is her best friend. Can't believe they are committing such an affair behind her back. Those foxes" wonwoo pointed it out.

" That's horrible" hoshi said yet he could neither sympathise or empathise; maybe a part of felt that she deserved it after all she simply looked down on everyone.

-_-

Drinking the strawberry milk you sat on the chair near the vending machine. As you savoured the sweet drink you couldn't help but touch on the incident from the day before. You'd know that you were very rude to him yet his frenzy hair, his attitude, his lips and those words; you just couldn't help yourself.Recalling his red tomato face, your lips automatically curl up….. It was your little secret, but you loved teasing and acting up against hoshi. His reactions were very satisfying.

" Y/n! Jun was seen with Mina!! Rumors are spread around that they are dating. ``Jihyo came running to you, informing you about the whole incident.

Maybe it was only the tip of the iceberg. As you reached the scene, Jun and Mina were gathered in the class along with some of your friends.

." Y/n, we are very sorry!" The cheating pair bowed to you.

" We- we, we just didn't know how it all happened. Just spending some time together with him; I just, I was swept away by my feelings.i'm very sorry" mina expressed her part while in a breath later Jun speaks again, not allowing you to speak at all.

" Y/n, what I have with her is just sooo special. I'm sorry, I just didn't feel that way with you. I know it's wrong and I'm sorry"

" Y/n! You should understand them.. maybe they were just meant to be with each other" " Yea yea, just forgive them"

You almost felt very light headed. The world was so much better a few minutes ago and now, it was all blasting? The rush of feelings you felt, the urge you felt to slap his face; the feelings you felt….. were you not important at all? It all revolved about them and yet, what about the feelings you felt.

" Katcha"

Your hands hit his cheeks as hard as you could.

" As much of a cheater you are, you sure have the guts to speak as proud as ever. I wish you the happiness that you'd deserve. What a shame"

With not many words you left. It was clear as the rainy skies in the sky; they never cared about your feelings or opinions. Those luring buttery words, and yet so casually cruel.

Your heels clacked to the music room. No one ever used room 301; " clack" you opened the door and went inside. Streams of tears flew from your eyes; the teardrops which you had held for so long.

The door opened again but in a quite manner;hoshi entered. A faint sound of soobing could be heard. As he further tiptoed, the back of the silhouette reminded him of y/n." Y/n, is that you?" He asked" No, it's not her. Get out" you harshly said as your tears ricochet. Your tears were almost neverending. All that you had caged inside your heart had suddenly been hammered and the cracks had left a scar.A soft hand massaged your hair line. It felt peaceful and quite. You hadn't bothered to see who it was as you knew it was hoshi.The silence, it felt peaceful… his hands were like of healers. It was almost as if he had communicated to you in a telepathic way. He hadn't utters a word and yet, it felt better than those petty words.

His hands were slow yet careful; your tears had began to stop. " Thankyou" you wispered. "Eh" he nods.The two sat in silence, without any words; enjoying the scenery out side.

Wonwoo and hoshi were in the cafeteria.

" So where were you yesterday? Hadn't seen you after the break" wonwoo casually mentioned as he slipped into his drink.Phew! Hoshi was red-RED! blood and rushed to his cheeks and one wouldnt be able to differentiate him from an apple at all.

" Oh-h-h, well I was just roaming around in the building. Umm, BYE! I'll bring my order" he rushed out. " Umm, suspicious", wonwoo said.

The months flew away like the waves in the ocean. Huge big tides were like that of the tense times during the weekly tests. The swirling waves were like the relationship with your classmates. Friend to all, but a friend to none. The small ripples were the reminder of the small gestures from hoshi.Engery drink at your table , sweet drinks during your periods, short memos at your locker. He had your back when everyone else had forgotten about you. And of course, you couldn't be you if you didn't returned his gesture. Fresh towels after his match, milk coffee after the school, bandana for concentration and appeal

(. ❛ ᴗ ❛.).

And yet whenever you'd talk with him both you you'd start to bicker. As if long lost enemies had met in a battlefield.

The weeks passed and months start to disappear into the thin air. Before you knew, it was time for your graduation.

The past years you'd bury yourself in books hoping to avoid the school tension and stress…… maybe it was too late to realize but you hadn't had time to make firends or had you enjoyed yourself. The only source of enjoyment that pulled you out of your small bubble were bickering with hoshi and a few conversations with wonwoo and jihyo.

As for the grass on his side, his grades were falling off the bar, barely making it. His head was too much focused on earning that study only felt like a burden.

It was the graduation day and yet he felt alone and unwelcomed. Everyone were enjoying their youths, clicking pictures, tearing up and blablabla….Turning his eyes, he could see you; enjoying yourself with your friends and family.

" Ha, atleast she's happy" he thought with a crooked smile which didn't met the eye.

" Hoshi! Congratulations" his sister huffed and puffed making her way to him. A small set of flowers on her hands; she raised 'um and gave it to him as a way to congratulate.

" Tha- thankyou" he squeezed her tight while embracing her. It had been a long time since he was ever appreciated…" Yea yea……" she played it out while the held back tears twinkled in her eyes.

" Hey hoshi!" You called him out. The both Kwan siblings turned their heads to you and it would be a lie if you'd say you weren't nervous." Would you like to have some of these pie? It's a blueberry corn pie…. Here have it. As our last momento before we go on our own separate ways" you said. " Eh, sure"

Maybe it was telepathy or just a secret understanding of you both; it maybe have looke that you'd hate eachother's guts yet things weren't that way.When everyone had forgotten about him, he had you and vice versa.

As you got in the car with your parents, you let your hair loose. As the wind bristled against your scalp, your thoughts went back to hoshi...... He was such a bright man, and although you did have your ups and downs, he was the most prominent person one the only few who stayed.

And maybe with the end of highschool your chapter with him too ended.

#hoshi #soonyoung #kwon hoshi #kwon soonyoung #seventeen #svt #hoshi imagines #soonyoung imagines #seventeen imagines #hoshi drabble #soonyoung drabble #seventeen drabble

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aestheticvoyage2024 · 2 months

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Day 97: Sunday April 7, 2024 - "Silver Appreciation Post"

It was a romantic end of trail for Silver and I's run through the universe these past few days. I wasn't feeling the love and loyalty trying to buy a new Toyota hybrid, and one final interaction out on the back lot, provided the omen I needed to pick up and move on from it. As if Silver was saying to get on up outta here. I tipped my hat to Silver on the way out the door, and handed over its title to the foreman in the service shop there. He said he planned to fix it up and keep it for himself and get it back on the road where it belongs. I was so grateful for that. After such a wonderful story together where I got more out of it than I could have ever dreamed, now it winds up in a place to get a new life. Its a bell cow now - with every opportunity to get at least to 300,000 miles. I proudly shared with Toyota, how my Prius has been a legend. From every corner of the country, and every new road we could find.

Its easy to be nostalgic about it - it gave me far more than I could have ever dreamed when my Dad found back in the fall of 2013. After an overnight test drive, and some arm twisting from my Dad, I was indeed getting my wide frame behind the wheel of a Prius. It was - slowly - life changing. Delayed by a deer strike, but on course for fate, I tied a seakayak to the rack in a snow storm and set out on my Grand walkabout. We went west. Me and my Silver steed. And indeed the sun did shine soft on another face - we found our home. We crossed this country in search of bread and love. And found all of it. It was the car that will always be most tied to my identity than any other vehicle. We did big things together - I saw the universe through its mirrors and filters. It took good care of me - always reliable. The car I brought William home from the hospital in is the same special car I rolled out on my walk about in. I'll never forget that. Daddy's car will always first and foremost have been Silver. My special car. I drove it for as long as I could, and when it gave up its ghost in February it didn't owe us a thing. Paid off since 2018 we got 6 more years of good go out of our main car for almost no cost. My Dad agrees, its definitely one of the best used car picks he's ever hit on. Yea, couldnt hardly have been any better. We bought it at 40k miles from a dealer in Lansing, MI. I sold it for cash to a service foreperson in Tucson. And in between we saw some the neatest and very best roads. From Yosemite to the Everglades. From Big Bend of Texas, to Big Sur in California. Places it shouldn't have gone, admitted issues with its headlights, and horn, and yes that might be some white gorilla tape holding that panel together - got that in Tahoe on Labor Day one year. All scars are memorable on this car. This scratch here is from my kayak in the everglades when I still very new in learning how to strap it down, in the first leg of the ramble. And these big scratches here on the front bumper are from the time the car completely shutdown and we couldn't get it up out of the alley and into our backyard, no matter. how. hard. we. tried. It just wouldnt fit - those scars, remind me of that - when the engine and everything was all rebuilt as part of a recall to save the day for us. It always felt like I was spoiled with this car. It was a legend in the way it was steady for me. I had to be convinced by my Dad at first, but I'll always give him all the credit - and especially after we added that sport rack, it was ready to be my adventure-mate. I sang its praises. It had so much room I could live out of it, as I went state to state, literally carrying a dinner table to serve as my mobile remote office. I'd pull it out and setup shop in each new place I'd land in. That Prius, thought of as a little car, had more room than most little SUVs. I was proud of it - and the story we were telling together, seeing the country, giving others the permission to do it, in a way that I never had. I'd like to think that somehow I made a difference, out there in my white Prius.

Some of the stickers, still on it today, were there from the beginning in October 2013. The 142 Into the Wild tag, the old english D. The Michigan Love. Later we'd pick up a Bernie Sticker in Vermont, and of course a Biden sticker - which shouldnt surprise people to see on a Prius in Tucson, though it always seemed to surprise them when they saw me behind the wheel - not what they expected! And I love that. -that maybe we reshaped some ideas around going smaller and more sustainably in the effort to simplify and enjoy the expeirence. It was the perfect car. For all of that. And for me and for that time. It helped light the spark. It was part of the manifestation, that led me here. To my fate, and my family. It has a spark of that. Its easy to be romantic about the connection to such an inanimate thing - a machine - a computer. I gave it a loving goodbye and loving place to land. I'd done my part, and ended that story.

Id spend the day writing reviews in its honor, and researching Subarus before working to settle on a new family car, the Ascent. By week's end we'd have our names on one in transit and figuring out financing. A new story starting in a more exciting and energized way that feels very right. Just had to close that last circle first. I'll be a very lucky man, if I ever have a better car than Silver - I just can't imagine it will ever be possible to catch that magic twice. The car I left in, found love in, brought my son home in. It gave me everything.

Song: Josh Ritter - Roll On

Quote: “I much prefer the sharpest criticism of a single intelligent man to the thoughtless approval of the masses.” ― Johannes Kepler

Not ALL of these miles were in Silver, of course - some pre-dated the Prius, and some tracks were in rentals. BUT Oh, So, many of these tracks were in the Prius at some point.

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naranciiiasolos · 2 months

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had a dream. idk if it was sad or good dream. but basically i died but before i had actually moved on to rhe light lr something. i was able to say a few words to people before i passed on. the first person was salma. i dont remember what i said. but i do remember tell her thay i hope she remembers me in tiny things i use to like. like not like i hope you cry everytime you see something that reminded you of me but more like “ oh yea sofia use to like these. “ or maybe just a smile or a chuckle idk😒. it went from a really sad dream to a very interesting. like i started spying on peopletype shit. like idk how to explain it but it was more if a movie spy type of dream😭 but i feel like it was still sad. cause at the end of the day i was dead and my spirit is just exploring the place. i remember in the dream seeing my parents cry. i didnt like seeing that. but it really made me miss them and im not even dead bru. but in the dream i was talking to them and they heard everything i said. they just couldnt see me. i felt really sad when i woke up cause i genuinely dont know what would happen once i die. its more like. i would really wouldnt want to die. theres still so much i want to do and sayand learn. im scsred that after death im going to be forgotten. not by my family but among my friends. theres not much i have done to really make people happy or really “ changed their lives “ that oart doesnt matter. but the point is. i dont want to be forgotten. i want people tk remember me for me. and to be able to see something and think about me once in a while. thats all. but anyways the dream was fucking fire i solved a murder with my dad.

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echosofmyself · 2 years

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sometimes i thibk you would prefer ifi just disappeared. would it even matter anyway? no one would care if im gone. eveeyone would move on. my new friends would be fine, they barely know me. my once closer than a sister doesnt care anymore. my best friend would be fine. bit sad, but its not like we're that close anyway. thegirls would also be ok. they might hurt at first but i dont see them truly caring in the long run. and my family would be better, wouldnt they. hteyll have a new baby so they can just forget all about me. i feel so outside of everything. i felle like, im at a party, and everyone around me is having fun and im seeing it tru a glass. they wouldnt care if i left, if i disapppeared, if i went away because in the end, no one really needs me and if no one needs me then theres no point for me to be here. i simply exist to be used and used and discarted and the sencond im drained then who would want me. i can dream and fantasize but the turth is, no one cares about me. no one will ever love me the way i want to be loved, not just because i dont allow myself but because theres so much better im out there. i'm the typoe people might look at and say "yea someday someone will care because why wouldnt they but its just not me" but when everyone looks at you that way then no one stays to csre. i leaned when i was 18, that they might like my perosnality and even my looks, but no one will stay for the true person i am inside. no one will care for me as soon as i truly open up and as much as i hate overly dramatic "broken" people the truth is i am one just like that. my prime has passed without me even utilizing it. i just float around eith noting to care about. this was the best year of my life anyet i still feel like this. and yet im still useless and full of flaws and all i want to do is go home and sleep forever. it must be marvelous, to be able to go to sleep and be in such a state for the rest of my life. no worries, no letting down people, no forcing myself to be this or that and to go against my nature, just me in my purest state: dead-like. ~ to feel inthe outside what i feel inside is to just let this indifference take me. my whole bosy is endlessly filled with the indifference of life, and i'll argue that that's the worse thing to feel. When you hate life, you let your emontions take place, and you hate something becuase u believe its possible to change it and yet you arent able. to feel misery of life means at one point you had something of value in it and simply miss it dearly. all these are still horriblethings to feel, and yet indiffernece is the worse. because when ure indifferent, you dony cate how unjust it all is, you dont care about what might have been taken from you or what might have been, you simply..dont care. You simply do as your told because that simple command is th elast thing keeping you attached to this world and you even stop that, stop pretending you care about something, then theres truly nothinb.- no ire, resentment or sadness- attaching you to this world. you could leave today or tommrow and it would make so difference. Nothing ever does, in the end. does it really matter what i do with my life, if theres no one there- including ymself- to see it? having any achievements in my life feels like a never ending cycle, the one where u did the coolest cartwheel as a child but your parents werent looking, and only hum when you call for them. They dont even look at you, no matter what you do, and just keep on with their talk. a never ending life of not seen cartwheels feels so draining, only made worse when people later ask you why arent you doig htem more and why cant you make them better. whats the point n looking if they arent improving? whats the point of paying attention to you if you arent what i wanted you to be?

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clownkiwi · 2 years

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addition from last reblog's tags because Yea, i really wanna talk about this scene from dbz (im specifically using the dbza one)

youtube

you wouldnt think anything couldve had an impact on me when i was a senior on high school, ready & excited to move onto bigger things, but. fuck.

gohan turning super saiyan 2 for the first time probably might've been the peak of his character development ever since he was conceived at the beginning of dbz (& lets be honest, the peak of dbz overall), its an incredibly important and crucial moment he has to go through because for the entirety of the series. he's mostly been either crying & whining (because he's. well. a kid. at this point in the story he's like 11 or 12 i believe???), with a bunch of dramatic anger fits that cause a boost in power

so at this point, with gohan battered and bleeding, losing hope that he couldn't beat cell because he doesn't have those same anger fits like he used to, android 16's head (yea, he was also in the crossfire of it all) tells gohan to stop holding back & berates him for basically letting everyone he ever loved to die because of his pacifism

and yea, cell crushes his head, with android 16 dead. forever, not coming back. cell gleefully taunting "i can say he went to a better place but, we both know he never had a soul"

at this point, gohan's rage reaches its limit. a gorgeous rendition of "tamashii tai tamashii" starts playing as gohan screams into the air, shattering the ground beneath him, shocking everyone around him; even the vile, heartless monster, cell. as he powers up to a new form even stronger than goku or vegeta. as we cut back to gohan's face at the climax of this scene, tears are flying up from his face, and as the episode is ending, the tears fade away, changing his expression from mourning to determination

holy shit, even as a cynical 18 year old in high school that loved cartoons, this scene definitely got to me. gohans emotions changing, his emotions literally powering him up to his strongest form (until the majin buu arc and the new movie, from what i've heard), the gorgeous rendition of the iconic song that played in the original version of this scene, id have to say this is my favorite scene in both dbza & dbz!!!

it highly inspired the original plans for how i was gonna end my webcomic, superlove (its now being changed for it be more original, but i'll still keep the core inspiration emotional beats). this was just such a powerful moment for me, i dont think any moment in any anime could ever change me again quite like this one

#rubys clown thoughts #SORRY FOR RAMBLING LOL this scene specifically means so much to me. its really quite chilling to the point of getting me to tears #long post #i couldve made a video on this scene but im sure people have before #Youtube

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mapbotofficial · 2 years

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I've been wondering how this happened from the start honestly

~Mouse

OK. full blog lore time. buckle up this is is long

sooo. friends were making fnaf blogs, and it seemed like fun + id always wanted to run an ask blog since i first heard about them when i was younger!! so THIS WAS IT. my chance to make an ask blog. ask soon as i made the first post i had a realization.

there is. little to nothing you can do with mapbot. theres no character. just 2 lines of dialogue and congrats. you got a map. soo. i carried on the bit for a while, but it obviously got boring. theres not much you can do with just "please take a map" .

so the reasonable thing to do was to mess around like the other blogs had! add something interesting to add to it, have something else be there.

now, at the time my hyperfixations were the magnus archives, and inscryption. so i thought. "wouldnt it be funny. if i made a whole story getting inspiration from those 2 things."

SO. what i did was have mapbot find a stoat. it at first was supposed to be a bit where "oh look! inscryption stoat on the fnaf blog! how silly!" but . for some reason i backed out on that. so: now there was a weird stoat.

then i started to imply that the stoat was a wizard and gave them their name for a joke: geography, or gg for short because , this is still a normal mapbot ask blog i promise. but then i had an idea. i love character design, and why not make a story? just for this blog? so thats what i did.

so, i had gg go into a weird door. and find a weird place. pitch black, and mazelike tunnels. originally, for the character in the tunnels first appearance, they had no name, (referred to by gg as dice). they were ORIGINALLY supposed to be just eyes in the dark, playing some spooky role. that didnt happen. they ended up being irritable and tired, as well as terrible at childrens board games.

when i had gg leave, i started working on proper story concepts. starting with the concept of caretakers.

the concept of the lamplighter was the first role made. acer paraffin maple, with acer and maple being trees that burn well, and paraffin oil being something that is used in oil lamps!

so, fun naming choices. now at this time, id named all my characters.

holly ilex, (hollyberries), laurel noble (bay leaf scientific name. its a water pun for the boat captain), martin carver (he was never seen, but hes a marten. i was tired of making names by the time i got to him)

the last 2 were interesting to design for the caretakers. fir castell, a librarian/archivist? i wasnt sure, and they were named after how fir wood is used for paper, and the faber castell ink brand. but the last caretaker always stumped me. i refered to them simply as 'the stranger', and left it at that.

so by this point, i had all my characters named, but needed personalities as well as designs so i got to it .

holly was inspired by hollyberry cookie in cookie run and a bloodborne outfit??? (yea.) he was the first one designed actually, and his initial appearance and personality are a biiit different from how he looks and is now, being more fancy, as well as more mean.

the stranger was actually the second one designed, despite having no name. a chess computer. they were based on animatronics, and with my love of object head characters, had a screen for a head. this made them unintentionally resemble p03, which is funny

laurel was the 3rd design, and fir the fourth. design wise? these two had the MOST changes compared to everybody else. personalities remained the same but. im gonna doodle a quick sketch for comparison.

lefts the current design which. i think people recognize, and the right is the original. laurel originally had flatter, straighter hair, a MUCH fancier coat (not shown obviously) as well as mime makeup, instead of more clownlike. this actually got changed ONLY when laurel was met in story. i drew what felt right and . now we have laurel as they are presently.

fir however took the longest to get a design for, and it was made on the go. fir was originally not only and object head, BUT, a mongoose?

i dont know what happened for these designs to change in all honesty. dont ask (also fir lost sweater vest permissions. oops)

,,back to the other designs however.

martin, has actually always looked the same since concepts? the only thing thats really changed was his last name. but even then, only by a few letters.

now to acer. despite them being the first character named, they were the last for a design. they were based on a joke character design (who never got named), and overall, hasnt really changed designwise! hell, even the hair color being inspired from toasted marshmallows hasnt changed. there are some design aspects that didnt make the cut, but did actually go to a DIFFERENT character later on. (youll see them in the reboot)

so by the time gg had gone into the factory in the story, and onto the boat, the story had been written. for the most part? i was writing whatever i wanted. but the story that HAD been written was fully and entirely, ignored. it was more of a guideline. and next came the first character who wasnt originally designed to appear: sacha

acers sibling. its hair was actually styled similarly to acers, mostly for the hell of it. if i remember right, it was mostly to imitate acer, much to their annoyance. sacha actually got the mime makeup that laurel was originally supposed to have, but in a different style. now while on the boat, i tried to push more for a proper story on the blog (it didnt work), so instead i just. posted. a lot. i also had character background for gg vaguely at this point. and at this point, the archive was about to be visited but there was an issue:

i didnt have a personality or design set for fir. so i had sacha push for rumors about them being 'dangerous'. which now in current lore, is super funny, because those two are close friends, as well as laurels cousin. so to sacha, its a silly joke. to gg? who knows. they might die??

but i cant kill off the main character, i did that in my other story already . so, gg was going to reason with them (somehow). but when writing fir they turned out to be pretty cool so. yea whatever. but something else had happened. i implied that caretaking had some other role. so! i ran with that concept.

now came the concepts for past caretakers. i believe the first one who had a concept was halcyon, the old captain. their original concept was given to a different character (and then a different one later). the second lewis, whos design was given to ANOTHER DIFFERENT CHARACTER. and sydney. who stayed the same.

its hard to describe the original concepts i had with those 3. it was so specific in my head that i really didnt know what to do with them. so i didnt do anything. easy fix.

another lore thing was: gg didnt like holly, or more specifically, the woods. they didnt want to go there, but they didnt want to go to the other location . so they chose to go to the woods.

the other location, being THEIR HOME, they didnt go to because uh. they didnt exactly want to be known. they didnt like their family, and felt overshadowed by them. so they left to be an apprentice for holly, maybe to replace him someday. but, now heres the interesting part.

so, holly, as the hunter, hunted. obviously. its in the name. now gg, had set up traps in certain areas, unknown to holly. holly, when messing around and basically playfighting with another caretaker, who never had a name . for some reason.

the other caretaker fell into a trap, and you can take a guess how well that went.

holly, having frequently lied in the past to help cover other peoples mistakes, wasnt exactly believed. seeing how gg had left for the woods, and was never seen by anybody again? it didnt look good for him . so at that point, none of the formerly VERY close caretakers got along that well. gg, was infact. syzygy. thats what their name was. it just happened to be that geography being shortened to gg worked out in their favor.

is the above being kept in the new lore? kinda! youll see lol

now some other characters were written in concepts, being

swilla, magnus, gunpowder, sycamore, willow, and two characters who would later be named cesar and merlot.

NOW. then we have the OLD caretakers. the original ones. they were written in later (with the concepts changed.) around when this blog was SUPPOSED to be in temporary hiatus (its getting rebooted. yea.)

sycamore, amelia, lucas, charles, miriam, and fern. of course, those characters have been changed for the reboots lore and plot but. thats about it really?

here in a bit i miiight make a different post showing assorted concept art of things . like THE REAL behind the scenes YIPPEE

anyways. thats about it???

IN SUMMARY: it was a joke that got really out of hand and now im attached to these characters

#mod asks #THIS TOOK SO LONG TO WRITE. HELP #if this reads weird i didnt proofread any of it #I KNOW THIS WAS PROBABLY ASKING FOR THE ORIGINS OF THINGS BUT. LISTEN #IVE WANTED TO EXPLAIN WHATEVER THE HELL WAS GOING ON FOR SO LONG

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