#yeah i’d love to have an uncomfortable evening with a group of passive aggressive people who judge me and my life | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

syuga-s · 3 years

Text

The Last Time

w.c 4.3k

pairing. Jooheon x gn!reader

genre. angst, a little fluff maybe, idk how to classify it but it's my take on relationships in real life(?)

a/n. (warnings) I throw some curses here and there, mention of the word "sex" once, tried to make it as gender-neutral as possible, I could really use some help about t/w, feedback is more than welcome, hope you like the fic 🧍‍♀️

Once again you were at the same bar. With the same friends. Same music. Same drinks. It's safe to say that nothing's changed in here but you.

For some reason, you were awfully quiet tonight. Everyone was away from the table by now. All of them talking and dancing in groups.

You were regretting saying yes to going out the very moment Jasmine was at your front door. But your best friend really wanted to get you out of your house.

The thing is you weren’t going to be alone, all of your friends were tagging along. I guess I need to suck it up, maybe I could have fun, despite him.

And you really tried, there was no need to make a scene anymore. All of your friends have had their fair share of nights seeing you 'talk' with him and making things awkward for everyone. It's been a while, though. You haven't seen him in exactly 2 years.

How do I explain this? There's no resentment anymore, no hate for what happened between you. But when there's a choice between spending your Friday night at the same place as him or staying at home? Well...

But tonight was clearly different. Something (Jasmine) had dragged you here and to be quite honest, it hasn’t been half bad yet. Jasmine kept waiting for you to get up from your chair to come and chat with Jackson and Changkyun. Her all-time crush and his best friend.

"In a sec!! Just let me finish this drink!" You said while you showed her your glass. She quickly nodded and turned to keep talking with those two. You have to remember to thank them later for keeping her entertained because if it weren't for them cracking jokes every single second, she wouldn't have let you off the hook that easily.

Meanwhile, you decided to get a little lost in your head. Laughing to yourself because you were feeling like having a main character moment. Being the only one sat down in a place full of people. The mysterious persona drinking by themselves.

But that didn't last long.

"Mind if I sit here?" You shook your head. He put his drink next to yours and asked, "How are you?" And it somehow felt like you couldn’t have avoided this exact situation.

You released a breath that you didn't even know you were holding. "I'm sitting Jooheon, drinking… existing, you?" He forced himself to smile. Trying to hide the fact that he was still feeling uneasy around you. Nonetheless, showing you the dimples that you used to love so much.

“I can see that”, he paused, "it's been a lot since I last saw you, you look different".

You hummed softly, finally making eye contact with him. "So you expected for me to look the same?" You surely weren't going to pass up the opportunity to be passive-aggressive to him.

It still makes you happy to know that he has never minded this side of you.

"I'm teasing, I guess we both look different, it's been what? Two years?"

"I'm not sure, but it feels like a lot" He took a sip of his drink and started to fidget with the glass. Maybe you're not the only one that's changed after all.

In the two years, you were together, you never saw him like this. But let's remember the fact that you never fully knew him back then. It just feels weird to see him this anxious. Especially with you.

"I've wanted to reach out to you for a while now," You frowned at his words. "Guess I lacked a little courage" He let out an airy laugh. "I really want to talk to you".

Now it was your turn to feel tense. What is this supposed to mean? How long has he been wanting to talk? And talk about what?

You tilted your head and opened your mouth to ask him all this, but he didn't give you the chance to get the words out.

"Before you say something, please believe me I just wanna talk", "but not in here”.

"Alright then, where do you suggest we ‘talk’ Jooheon?” He took his phone out to check the time. 10:44 p.m. He pursed his lips and said, more like hesitating, "I could walk you home?"

You stared off into your group of friends. This was going to make their night interesting. Seeing you two go together again, just like all those times before.

Jooheon's been waiting for this since he saw on your social media that you were leaving the city. And Jasmine took care of letting him know that you would be coming back in about 6 months.

That was a year ago. More than 365 days waiting to be in the same room with you. Praying that you would let him talk to you. Not that you would reject him. But he was scared, he was perfectly aware he messed up everything.

As you were both saying goodbyes to your friends, you started to think about how everything had ended between you two.

You know what? Yes, maybe I was wrong in ghosting him but after all, I don't owe him anything. Just like he threw me out of his life two years ago. We didn't work out, he never communicated with me. He didn't choose me back. I just had to watch him get rid of me, no explanations, no nothing. And I find it really hard to believe that he's been dying to talk to me. What could be so important that he wants to have a proper conversation? How will I explain to him that I stopped replying for no particular reason? That I just realized that we weren't good together, and I had to let go of him? Should I tell him that no matter my hard feelings, I still thought about him constantly?

You had left each other in the cold back then.

He called your name, and you snapped back to reality. Didn't even realize you were already outside of the bar when he softly asked you, "aren't you cold?"

You smirked and told him "Well yeah, walking back home in this weather wasn't in my plans dummy, but I didn't bring a jacket though".

He used to be so attentive to you. One of the other things you used to love about him. Always concerned about you.

He simply put his jacket around you and started walking before you could complain about something as simple as this. Like you always did.

It feels nice to know that someone in this world knows you to this extent. The way you’ll react to simple things. How can you still love someone despite knowing that you don’t work together?

You realized he still has this jacket. It's the same one he gave me the first night we spent together. Why do I have to remember this now? Not fair. Maybe he wore it on purpose.

You gave a little run to catch him. Now that you were by his side, you were getting impatient, "Can you please start talking? I'm intrigued by all your seriousness".

You were kind of hating this feeling. Everything about him felt familiar. Suddenly, you wanted to cling your arm to his but thought twice about it.

He chuckled. "Well it's not super serious, I want us to have a nice conversation, you know?" You snorted at this, what does a nice talk mean?

"I can be nice, as long as you tell me WHAT you wanna talk about…", "come on Jooheon, just get to the point".

"Okay!! OKAY… I-" he took a deep breath and continued, "First of all, I want to apologize to you for everything, then I want us to talk about what happened between us if that's okay with you?"

You'd be lying if you didn't say that you wanted this to happen since you drew apart the first time. You always dreamt of having an adult conversation with him.

But the dream left your mind bit by bit. Just like your heart got itself back together after he left you, piece by piece.

Overwhelmed, you could only stare straight ahead into the street. He called your name again. Now your eyes were on his, and you could see his concerns. How his mind was going miles per hour, just like yours.

"I want to apologize too,” you smiled and finally let yourself link arms with him. “It’s gonna take us a while, isn’t it?”.

The walk to your apartment took around 15 minutes. The words you exchanged with Jooheon were kept to a minimum. You weren’t gonna get into the heavy stuff right there in the street.

When you finally arrived, you gave him back his jacket. It was gonna get uncomfortable to talk with him with a piece of clothing that made you remember too much.

“Want something to drink? I have a beer, wine, you name it”. He sat on your couch while you searched for something non-alcoholic in your little fridge. “A beer would be okay”.

You got yourself some water. Otherwise, your head would be fuzzy, and wouldn’t be able to tell him all you’ve had on your mind for years.

You handed him the bottle, and you took your seat on the carpet. Your mind wandered off to the last time he was in here.

When he told you goodnight and planted a soft kiss on your lips like he always did. You knew it wasn’t a simple ‘good night’, for you.

You remembered how your eyes followed him until he closed the door of your apartment.

He took a swig of his drink and by the time he put the bottle on your little coffee table, it made you realize he was sitting right there, in front of you.

Finally, gathering the courage to start telling you what was on his mind. “I never thought I’d get the chance to talk to you again”.

I didn’t think so, either. We both fucked up multiple times.

──────────────────────

You were never a couple. After 5 years, you never understood what had lacked between you. The desire was there. Now and then you had your moments of happiness. Usually on the weekends.

When you met, you weren’t looking for love or a serious relationship. At least one of you.

Jooheon was free, like the wind or like a bird. He flew back and forth and once in a while he needed to land somewhere for a while. Every so often he sought another fire, another bed, other arms that weren’t yours.

The time came when he made you feel a million things inside. Overwhelmed with words and emotions, mostly love. But also turmoil and maybe desperation.

It made you happy that he made you feel so much after being empty for months. You felt different with him. It was the kind of love you didn’t know you had in you. Didn’t even think it was possible to express about someone like this. Until him.

You didn’t need anyone else. You just needed Jooheon. Not only that, but you didn’t care for how long your love would last because you believed that the meaning of the word love was what you had built together.

A few hours together. Every so often the whole night.

But when the morning came, the nightmare started to take form. Texts at inappropriate hours, and even unanswered messages.

You started thinking that you didn’t know better. You started feeling insecure. Replaceable. Maybe he knows better than to be with me.

Desperate to know what you had. But afraid that you would ruin everything with the words “What are we?”.

Tried to convince yourself that all of this was okay. That it was a good thing that you were going slow, giving him the chance to open up to you.

Months kept passing and your trust in him was running thin. He made you feel weird on the daily. Wondering if he was seeing someone else. If he danced with someone tonight. Had they kissed? Is he having sex with someone who isn’t me? What if he’s tired of me?

You wanted to be with him, but It was starting to hurt.

I hate that when I try to get myself to think that I don’t like you anymore… you do these little things that make me love you.

When you were together, he treated you like there was no one else for him. His hand was always wrapped up in yours. Talking until dawn, about college, his family, and your relationship. Those times, you couldn’t lie to yourself about your feelings.

He was the only face you could see in the world. The only guy you’ve ever wanted to keep around. But how did we get to this point?

The day you told him you were starting to fall in love with him, all he could reply was, “I don’t know what to say, I never thought you would be in love with me”.

“That’s all you have to say?”

“Well what do you want me to say? You took me by surprise”.

“You could tell me how you feel. I’m not expecting for you to tell me you love me back, I-“

There’s no return now, you have to keep talking.

“I’m just tired of not knowing what’s in your head, I’m not sure if you want to have something with me anymore, it’s okay if you don’t so, just be honest with me”.

“I like you”. You stayed quiet after hearing this, urging him to tell you more than just three words.

“I mean, of course, I’m attracted to you”.

At that moment, you liked what you heard. But the more you thought about it, you realized that he didn’t actually care for you, or loved you. Maybe that was a greedy thought from you. Maybe you expected too much.

You were angry but mostly angry at yourself.

Why are you still waiting for him? It's been years and nothing has happened between you. Nothing ever will at this point.

You ended up telling him not to bother you again, that if this was his way of ‘loving’ you, you were better off without it.

But that was a lie, you longed for your phone to show his name, even if it was at 5 A.M. Still thinking that there was no other way to love someone.

Unable to put an end to it, months kept passing and nothing changed between you. Jooheon had many others, and you only had him.

You loved spending nights like this by his side, watching him sleep, wondering for hours about you two. Unable to explain how you could love him this much.

Maybe he did love you, but you can’t handle this kind of love anymore. It’s better for both of you to end this, whatever it was because it's driving you crazy. And you meant it this time.

Jooheon told you goodnight and planted a soft kiss on your lips like he always did.

You knew it wasn’t a simple ‘good night’ for you, this was the last time you were gonna let him in. Your eyes followed him until he closed the door of your apartment. Fighting back your tears while softly saying to yourself, “I’m always going to love you…”.

The texts at 5 A.M. came again, but this time there was no answer. Jooheon started calling and sending texts for days, but you didn’t reply. All your efforts in disappearing from him on social media weren’t stopping him.

He met someone else, yet the texts wouldn’t stop. Until one day they did.

Now and then your curiosity would get the best of you and you would see his Instagram stories with her. An older girl you had met once. They were supposed to be friends.

You wanted to avoid comparing yourself to her but, he never posted something with you. It’s a dumb thing to worry about, but it’s one of those things that sometimes matter.

You tried to understand the whole situation. Accept the fact that you two weren’t meant to be. That he didn’t see a future with you.

Your days stopped revolving around him. You focused your time on getting your degree, learning another language, going out with your friends. Even tried meeting new people.

There were a few here and there. No one was enough for you.

Your ideas of love and relationships were different now. You gave another meaning to the word love. You wanted to find someone who would love you and take care of you. A quiet kind of love, real love.

What you had with Jooheon, was something you never wanted to experience again. Days went by, even months until you saw each other once more; for the first time in Jooheon’s life, he felt a knot in his stomach, he knew he lost you, for good this time.

Months passed and Jooheon left his girlfriend. He now felt different because he looked for you in everyone, yet he couldn’t find you, and he felt empty.

He cursed himself a thousand times for not knowing how to appreciate you and the love you gave him for two whole years. Tears finally fell from his eyes, he couldn’t believe he was crying for someone, crying for love, crying for you.

He took his phone out, swallowed hard, and started typing another text.

“I miss you, and I need you with me now and always, I never thought I would say this, but I’m not happy without you. Maybe I should’ve loved you less and loved you better, I just want you to know that I’ll always be waiting for you my sweet y/n…”

But the message was never delivered. You had changed your number.

It made sense that you would do that someday. It’s been too long, but this didn’t stop him from sending you texts in the middle of the night. When he felt the overwhelming need to have his arms wrapped around you.

──────────────────────

I still love you

(9:05 p.m.)

no, I don’t

(9:06 p.m.)

I’m confused why did this happen

(2:26 a.m.)

I want you to be happy, if this is what it takes then I’m okay with it. be happy. for me. please.

(10:45 a.m.)

I kind of hate you for changing your number

(8:57 p.m.)

I’m sorry

(1:43 a.m.)

maybe if I wasn’t so fucked up this wouldn’t have happened

(3:37 a.m.)

why can’t things be like they were before

(10:13 a.m.)

please come back to me. I need you. You need me

(1:58 a.m.)

I still want you

(4:06 a.m.)

──────────────────────

The day you left town was the day he swore to himself to try his best to get another chance to talk to you, just once more. To make things right, not caring anymore about his pride. He just wanted to let you know everything he didn’t say when you were by his side.

That he was sorry that it took him too long to acknowledge he was wrong. That he knew he was a little too late and wishes that he could say something more meaningful than a simple “I want you back”.

──────────────────────

“I wonder why” You smirked at him.

The more you kept making eye contact, the more you realized you didn’t feel any kind of resentment anymore. You both had grown, and while you didn’t actually need this kind of closure, you figured this was the healthiest moment to do so.

His eyes were avoiding you now, his smile was still there, but you could tell he lost a bit of his confidence. “Okay, so I’m gonna talk first, please just hear me out. I want to rip the band-aid,” He said with a forced laugh.

“I don’t know why I could never tell you that love scares me. That it scares me to be attached to someone”. His tone was soft now.

“I still play in my head the day you told me you were falling in love with me. I couldn’t bring myself to tell you not to tell me those things because you could have changed your mind any moment”.

“I never told you how I felt one of the many nights you spent with me. You were stroking my hair and I seriously felt like crying because I was fucking scared”.

“I was scared to lose you”.

“I’m sorry because I know I made you think I didn’t want you for something serious. I’m sorry for being immature”.

“I look at you now, and I’m happy to get to see you like this. You’re still everything I’ve ever wished for and more. You need to know that nothing compares to you”.

“And believe me, I don’t expect you to take my words as a way of asking you for another chance, I know I don’t deserve it… but I would really love it if you could let me show you I could love you better this time”.

You never imagined these words coming out of his mouth. Couldn’t believe how he was looking at you. Hopeful but understanding at your loss for words.

“Can I ask you one last thing?” His voice was barely audible, but you nodded at him.

“Well, maybe it’s not an actual question, but I’d like to know why you stopped talking to me”.

“Look Jooheon, I don’t know how everything I wanna say will come out, so please bear with me”.

You didn’t know where to start, either.

There were so many things to be said that you were getting nervous to start talking. Because once you opened your mouth, you didn’t know if you would be able to piece everything together.

“When everything ended I really wanted to hate you, everyone around me hated you,” you admitted to him, “except for me and I hated that”.

“I knew that all I could be able to do was cut you from my life, so I just decided to stop talking to you”.

It may sound harsh, but it’s the truth. “I admit it was a poor way of handling things, and I’m sorry for that”.

You’ve always been scared of having this type of conversation.

You let out a sigh because you never thought that the following words were gonna come out of your mouth, ever.

“I’ve only been in love once in my life, and that was when I was with you”.

“It used to frustrate me that I wasn’t able to make it work with anyone after you. I couldn’t help but compare everyone to you”.

“I swore to myself that I never wanted to go through the same thing we had, maybe because those memories are yours and I don't want anyone else messing that up, you made me feel so safe, I felt alive with you, nothing could stop me when I had you”.   “You've been the only one I've ever wanted to see every day, no matter the hour or how busy I was, I truly wanted everything with you”.

You hadn’t noticed how he had been looking at you this entire time. He couldn’t believe that you used to feel that way about him. Still couldn’t wrap his head around hearing you say how you loved him.

You quickly wiped a tiny little tear that escaped your eye, hoping we wouldn’t notice. But he did.

You let out a nervous laugh and said, “I’m not sad, I swear, It’s just that I never thought I would say all this out loud, especially to you”.

“You don't know how many times I wanted to call you, run to you”.

“Last year before I left I wanted to see you, I kept trying to convince myself that It didn't have to mean anything, that I was just desperate for any physical touch, but from time to time, I wonder if what I really needed was just you”.

He didn’t say anything. So you just said his name out loud. “Jooheon…” Followed by a long pause.

“I feel so different now”.

“When I was far away from you, I realized that I need someone who isn’t absent when it comes to me, someone that isn’t a ghost in my life”.

While you were talking, you were watching his every move and how he couldn’t stop playing with his rings. You’re still not used to seeing him act like this.

“At this point, I want someone who will take care of me, that makes me feel safe. Someone who wants to be with me because they love me, and they love to have me next to them. I’m beyond only spending the night over, I want whole days”.

You finally got up from the floor and sat next to Jooheon. Facing him, making him do the same. He kept looking at you for a whole minute but it felt like hours.

You didn’t know what to do after his following words.

“What I realized with being away from you is that I was pushing away what I’ve always wanted. I wasn’t confident that I could meet you where you were. I felt it would be better not to waste your time back then, but that was then, and this is now…”

You kept looking at each other a little too long. Both realizing you didn't need words anymore. The love was still there.

#monsta x #jooheon #joohoney #jooheon imagines #jooheon oneshot #jooheon monsta x #jooheon angst #jooheon fluff #monsta x fanfic #jooheon fanfic #monsta x fluff #monsta x angst

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everybodyscupoftea · 4 years

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the fight

pike jj x reader (ft. our fave duo cody and tyler)

it all comes to head with brooke, a story in four parts

hello all, this is it. the blowup. i hope that i’ve done it justice :)

You were ecstatic to say the least. JJ hadn’t hung out with the group alone in months, and with your friend-aversary coming up, he was finally going to be forced to. Cody texted you a countdown every morning and they never failed to make you laugh, especially the day of.

Today Maybank finally sheds the 120 pounds that’s been holding him back

With a snort, you finished packing your bag and left your dorm room to walk to the boys’ to meet them. The group had decided the best way to celebrate would be to feast like kings, and Cody found a really nice Italian restaurant in Charlotte, a little over two hours away, to do so.

Tyler was the only one ready when you knocked on the door, and when he opened it, Cody went sprinting past, tooth brush in his mouth, dress shirt unbuttoned. Your eyebrows shot up, “The fuck is going on?”

“Cody overslept,” Tyler answered, sounding exasperatedly fond.

Frowning in realization, you walked over to JJ’s room. He wasn’t there, so you asked, “Wait, where’s J?”

Cody walked over, tooth brush gone, and said mockingly, “He went to brunch with Brooke. He’s meeting us at the car.”

“God, couldn’t go one morning, huh?”

Making a face, Cody finished buttoning his shirt and sighed, “No he fucking can’t.”

Tyler laughed as he realized he’d fucked up the buttons and was one off, and you rolled your eyes, knocking Cody’s hands away to fix the buttons for him. He pouted like a child until you finished, and muttered, “Thanks mom.”

“Let’s just go to the car,” you told them both, pinching Cody’s cheek.

Cody yanked his face away from your hand, rubbing his cheek with a glare, “No.”

Tyler snorted and held his arm out for you, ‘’Alrighty then, the lady and I will see you tomorrow.”

After a few seconds of not backing down, Cody relented, “No, I don’t want to miss sleepover time.”

The three of you were talking and laughing loudly on the walk to the car, Cody carrying all the bags (he lost rock paper scissors) until you froze. Tyler jolted to a stop and looked concerned, “What’s up?”

“Why are there two people by your car?”

“What?” Cody asked, finally catching up.

“It’s not just JJ by the car.”

“He wouldn’t,” Cody tried to reassure, the uncertainty in his voice betraying his true thoughts.

He would.

Brooke smiled at the three of you as you walked up, looking you up and down appraisingly when the other two boys muttered out greetings. JJ was looking down at his phone and looked up with a grin, “Running late already, boys?”

“I highly doubt it was the boys,” Brooke answered, not taking her eyes off you.

Rolling your eyes, you opened the passenger door and climbed into Tyler’s car. Not fucking worth it. Cody gave her a fake smile and dismissed, “Alright, Brooke, thanks for dropping him off, but we’re going now.”

“I’m coming,” she told him, stepping around his frozen form to slide into the backseat next to JJ. Your hand stopped, mid-buckling yourself in, and your head whipped around.

“JJ, what the fuck?” you asked, “this is a friend group thing.”

He looked uncomfortably between you and Brooke, clearly not prepared to have to choose. The fact he even had to think about it fucking hurt.

“I mean,” he started, “Brooke hangs out with us too.”

“Plus, it’s our four-month anniversary,” Brooke told everyone even though no one asked.

“Yeah, we’ll it’s our one-year. And honey, you just haven’t been around that long,” Cody told her, condescending tone.

“It’s for the bros,” Tyler added.

“She’s not a bro,” Brooke pointed at you.

Tyler scoffed, “She is. JJ tell her.”

“I,” he looked trapped again, “she’s one of our best friends. Come on, Brooke, I told you if you were gonna come you’d have to play nice and participate.”

She sighed almost at the same time as you and you had to fight every instinct screaming for you to get out of the car and go back to your bed and sleep the rest of the day away. Tyler passed you the aux cord, remorseful look in his eye, and you smiled weakly. Cody squeezed your shoulder and whispered, “You good?”

“I’ll make it,” you whispered back as Tyler cranked up the car and started to back out. What you’d forgotten was that Brooke had never driven in a car with Tyler, and had no clue that he drove like a bat out of hell.

She gasped loudly at his first sharp turn and you snorted, not even trying to hide it. Tyler grinned over at you and winked as he took another sharp turn to merge onto the interstate. One glance back showed Brooke clutching onto JJ’s hand as Tyler cut someone off in his merge.

Cody was facing away from them, grinning widely out the window, and you settled into your seat to pick a playlist. You hit shuffle on one and as Still Woozy started playing, Cody leaned forward, “Bro, is this the clique?”

“Yeah,” you laughed, “did you add this one?”

He nodded, smiling, as JJ asked, “Wait, the clique?”

“We have a collab playlist called the clique,” Tyler told him, “for when we go on car rides and stuff.”

Brooke scoffed, “That’s stupid, just take turns like adults.”

Your throat tightened, the collab playlist having been your idea, and Tyler narrowed his eyes at her in the rearview, “Pipe down back there, intruder.”

Cody snorted, still looking out the window, and you felt a little better. Tyler reached across and squeezed your hand in comfort. Brooke hummed, “So are you two together, then?”

“What?” you asked, “No.”

“Just a question, no need to get so defensive. Why not though?”

Blinking a few times, you asked again, “What?”

“Well, there must be something wrong with you if all you hang out with is dudes and none of them will date you.”

Your jaw dropped and Tyler flipped on his blinker, swerving off the next exit. He pulled into a gas station and threw the car into park before turning to look at her, “Watch your fucking mouth, you’re here, uninvited, and I’m not sure exactly what the fuck your problem is with her, but you stay the fuck out of our business.”

Cody smiled bitterly, “In case we hadn’t made it abundantly clear, you aren’t welcome here, be grateful we haven’t left you on the side of the road yet.”

“Hey,” JJ tried to intervene, but no one listened as Tyler pulled back onto the road to get back on the interstate.

The rest of the ride was relatively silent, thankfully, Tyler and you talking a bit since you were navigating. When he pulled into the restaurant parking lot, you were so ready to be out and away from the tension. Cody wrapped an arm around your shoulders, “Still good?”

“As good as I can be.”

He sighed, “Yeah, fuck her. Let’s go eat our body weight in pasta.”

Cracking a smile, you let his arm fall off your shoulders and followed the rest of the group inside, lightly holding onto the cuff of his sleeve. Tyler was the first one you saw at the hostess stand, arms crossed with a frown firmly etched on his face.

“What’s wrong?” you asked, as you and Cody joined the group.

“We reserved a table for four,” Tyler explained, “but now we have five, so we have no table.”

You sent Brooke a fake smile, “I’m sure we can roll the car windows down for you so you don’t get too hot.”

Her jaw dropped and Cody gave you a very discrete fist bump. JJ cleared his throat and shook his head at you. It was whatever, out of all the shit he’d let her say about you slide, yours was tame. He turned to face the other boys, “We’ll just go somewhere else, right?”

“No,” Cody stood his ground, “I picked this place, I made the reservation, I’m fucking eating here.”

You nodded, “I want pasta.”

“You don’t need pasta,” Brooke muttered loud enough for you to hear it.

“Fuck you,” you snapped, “I don’t need to deal with your shit anymore.”

“I’m sticking around, sweetheart, so I’d get used to it.”

You nodded, “Okay, sure. You’re barely past a hookup and literally no one wants you here.”

“I want her here,” JJ interrupted.

“And why?” you turned on him, “Why are you so fucking stubborn about this? About her?”

He looked around, seeing everyone’s eyes on your group. Cody and Tyler were leaning back, looking a mix of amused and proud of you. Before JJ could say anything, the hostess interrupted, “Um, if you can’t be quieter, we’re going to have to ask you to leave.”

“Make it a table for three,” you told her, motioning at Brooke and JJ, “they’ll be eating elsewhere, they have an anniversary to celebrate.”

She nodded and led you, Cody, and Tyler to a table, leaving Brooke and JJ standing at the front of the restaurant.

“Okay, remember what we told you,” Tyler said, picking up the boxes you all had after the meal, “be firm and confident. Tell him what you’re really thinking. Ignore Brooke.”

“Ignore Brooke,” you repeated, nodding.

“Good girl,” Cody affirmed, giving your hand a tight squeeze.

Brooke and JJ were sitting on the curb next to Tyler’s car when the three of you joined them, empty McDonald’s bags on the ground next to them. You couldn’t stop the dig, “So, nice anniversary meal?”

“Ours was great,” Cody added, “best pasta I’ve ever had in my entire goddamn life.”

Brooke rolled her eyes, “Hope you ate more salad than pasta.”

“Are you calling me fat?” Cody asked incredulously.

You were pretty sure she was talking to you because Brooke stuttered out, “Uh, no.”

“Bro,” Cody said, “I swear to god I would be cracking skulls right now, but I hashtag respect women so I’ll keep my hands to myself.”

“A hero,” you cooed mockingly at him.

Brooke glared at you, “Can’t talk to me on your own without a buffer now?”

And you were so tired. So fucking tired of dealing with her. You snapped.

“I don’t have to if I don’t fucking want to. All you do is berate me, and send me shitty passive aggressive messages on Instagram, and lie to the people I love. You’re the absolute worst person I’ve ever met in my entire life, I wouldn’t wish dating you on my worst enemies.”

JJ looked like he was going to interrupt, but Cody clapped a hand over his mouth and shook his head, warningly.

You kept going, “One day, JJ is going to wake up and he’s going to see how awful you are. He’s going to realize how miserable you make everyone around you and it’s going to suck for you and for him. I was waiting, I wanted to see it happen, but you know what, it’s just not worth my time.”

“This is insane,” Brooke laughed, a little hysterically, “you’re actually so manipulative.”

But you ignored her and turned to JJ, “I hope you’re so happy. I hope that this girl is worth one of your best friends walking out of your life. I’ve been there for you through shit, man. I’ve been a shoulder to cry on, I’ve been someone at your beck and call, and I’ve been someone who has seen you at your worst and stuck around.”

He was frozen beneath your glare and after a few seconds of waiting on any response, you finished your rant, “Because I’m tired JJ. I’m not going to just myself get hurt for no fucking reason. I never wanted to be that bitch that makes a guy choose, but I’m not in high school anymore, and I won’t be bullied like I am. Choose.”

JJ and Brooke decided to stay at a hotel in Charlotte instead of at the same Airbnb with you, Cody, and Tyler. Tyler stopped at a liquor store and picked up wine on the way to the Airbnb and the three of you put on your pajamas, turned on a movie, and drank.

You were laying on the bed between them, thinking about everything that had gone down, and without your permission, the tears started. Tyler noticed first and he paused the movie, sitting up fully to look at you.

“You gonna be okay, bud?”

“I’m sorry for ruining this trip.”

“You didn’t ruin it, Brooke did,” Cody soothed, running a hand up and down your back.

“I feel like it was me though. That’s what she makes me feel like. The intruder, the one who makes things worse, the one who gave an ultimatum. Which may I add, looks even dumber now that he clearly chose her.”

“We could leave them here,” Tyler suggested, “Make them pay for an Uber home.”

You smiled through the tears, “Fuck, that’s so tempting. But I want some moral high ground, I think.”

“We just want you to be happy,” Cody told you, voice soft.

“I am, mostly. But, god, sometimes it’s so hard. It feels so stifling. Like I found my niche, my friends, and then she’s there and she’s ruining it. I hate it so much.”

“Well, we’d never leave you for her,” Tyler soothed.

Cody nodded, “Never, even if we have to ditch Maybank.”

“Shut up,” you told them, smiling slightly.

“Serious,” Cody promised, holding out his pinky. You stared at it before slowly bringing your hand up to link them. Tyler did the same on your other side and you just breathed, both of your pinkies linked, content in the fact that if shit were to go south, they’d have your back.

JJ was waiting outside when the three of you pulled up to the hotel, Brooke nowhere in sight. Tyler parked and rolled the window down, “Where’s the spare?”

“She went home,” JJ responded, picking up his bag and walking over to your door, “Can I talk to you?”

“I don’t know, can you,” Cody cut in from the back seat.

You snorted and stepped out to talk to him, “Yeah, can you?”

JJ sighed, “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

“I don’t even know where to start,” he admitted, putting his hands in his pockets nervously.

“There’s a lot to work through,” you told him.

He smiled sadly, “How did we get here?”

Tears welled in your eyes, and you shrugged, “I don’t know, dude, it just sucks.”

“How do we get back?”

Shrugging again, “It’ll take some time. You hurt my feelings so.”

JJ nodded uncomfortably, “Right. Um, maybe start with breakfast tomorrow?”

“Breakfast tomorrow,” you agreed.

#jj maybank #pike!jj #jj maybank x reader #cody and tyler #jj maybank fic #frat!jj

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ilovefandoms102 · 4 years

Text

Part 3-Shape of My Heart

Pairing: Rudy Pankow x Plus Size Reader

Summary: Falling in love with someone you can never have is the worst feeling in the world...

Taglist:

@jeyramarie @drewswannabegirl @teamnick @jiaraendgame @agirlwholovescoffee @outerbongs @jaxandcomet @velyssaraptor @baby-pogue @they-write-once-in-a-blue-moon @must-be-a-weasley-92 @kaitieskidmore1 @ma10427 @ifilwtmfc @lasnaro @justcallmesams @judayyyw @lonely-kermit @gviosca @iamaunicorn4704 @jellyfishbeansontoast @fernweh-fangirl @runway-to-my-aid @eb15 @hurricane-abigail @tangledinsparkles @fandom-phaser @sunwardsss @http-cherries

Part 2 Part 4

Note: We’re almost at 400 new friends!!!! I just want to say THANK YOU to each and every one who has taken time to read even just one of my stories. I truly from the bottom of my heart appreciate it. I love seeing the comments, messages, and reblogs from everyone who has taken the time to do so! It inspires me to put out even more for you guys, and I have so many ideas I want to share with you all! Hope you guys enjoy and don’t forget to let me know what you think!

===============================

LAX’s airport was bigger than I could have ever imagined...

I rolled my suitcases along to where Rudy had told me they would be waiting, a duffel bag slung over my shoulder. Hey, I was staying for almost a month in California, I had necessities to bring. I heard my name being called, whipping my head in the direction it came from. I beamed when I saw everyone, making my way towards them.

Both Maddie’s made it to me first, taking me into a group hug. They squealed and jumped around, saying how excited they were to see me. Chase ruffled my hair, taking me into a side hug. I spotted Rudy last, a sly smirk on his face. He was more handsome than I remembered, despite seeing his face almost everyday. It was different now that I saw him standing before me, the slight beard he was growing made him look older. He pulled me into a bear hug, inhaling my scent. I did the same, loving the feeling of his arms around me.

“I missed you guys so much.” I admitted, pulling away from Rudy.

“We can’t wait to show you around!” Maddie C exclaimed.

Rudy took my duffel bag while Chase got one of my suitcases, leading the way to the car. He grunted when I handed him my bag, slinging it over his shoulder.

“Jesus woman, what’s in here?” Rudy asked, using both hands to haul my bag.

“Makeup, shoes, ya know...girl stuff.” I shrugged, turning to wink at him over my shoulder.

“There’s gotta be some cement blocks in here or something.” he grumbled, slinging into the back of the car.

“Careful! There’s some expensive shit in there!” I gasped, earning an eye roll from the blonde.

The girls and Chase piled into the back, leaving me to sit up front with Rudy driving. I glared at the three devils in the back, knowing what they were up to. Once we got out of the airport, we jammed out to some 80′s rock. Although, Chase, Rudy, and I were the only ones that knew any of the songs.

I was an old soul, I loved old music. I listened mostly to anything from the 80′s to the early 2000′s, from pop to rock n roll. My mom always liked to tell me that I was born in the wrong era, and I guarantee she’s right. I think that’s also why Rudy and I got along so well, both of us having the taste for old music. The Maddie’s sat back and enjoyed our concert, videoing us at points when Rudy would go crazy.

I loved that I could be myself around them, not feeling the need to hide. Scream singing in the car while dancing with my best friends, this is what I needed after a stressful 4 months. I breathed in the Los Angeles air, feeling the sun beating down on my arm that hung out the window. I watched as the palm trees passed, the salty air feeling inviting.

====================================

Once we arrived at Chase’s house, everyone pitched in to lug my shit up the stairs. It was a real struggle since Chase had to pick a house with millions of steep steps. We were all huffing and puffing by the time we made it to my room I’d be living in for the next month, all of us crashing to the bed. Rudy crashed on top of me, a giggle erupting from my lips.

“You’re comfy,” he sighed, squeezing his arms around me.

It was odd feeling small in his arms despite being bigger than most girls, he was a lot more buff than I remember him being. We didn’t move for a while, just shifting so that Rudy was laying with his head on my stomach so he wouldn’t be crushing me. I spotted Maddie C pulling her phone out.

“Don’t you dare Madelyn,” I chuckled, knowing she was doing it anyways.

“You guys look pretty comfy.” she giggled, moving her finger to zoom.

“That makes one of us,” I commented, playing along for wherever she was about to post. Rudy looked at me offended, his lips pouting out.

Hysterical laughter came from all of us except Rudy who was still pouting, getting up to lay beside of me instead. I poked his lip, my stomach hurting from laughing so hard. He shoved my hand away, turning his back to me.

“Oh come on Ru, it was for the video.” I scoffed, tugging his huge bicep.

“I’m mad at you.” he huffed, but I could see the slight smirk on his face.

“Who decided to have a sleepover and not invite me?” a girl asked, walking in the room.

From Instagram I could tell this was Elaine, her beauty even more striking in person. She made me feel intimidated, her eyes lingered on where Rudy and I sat. I could see the jealousy in her eyes, making me scoot away from him.

“Hey El, this is y/n. Y/n, this is Elaine.” Maddie C introduced, gesturing to both of us.

“So this is the famous y/n...” she said, raising her brows. I felt her gaze burning over me, making me even more self conscious.

“That’s me, um I’ve heard all about your amazing photography.” I laughed nervously.

“Yeah, Rudy and I just had a shoot actually.” she revealed.

Maddie B seemed to be the only one to notice the tension in the room, Rudy hadn’t even looked up from his phone yet. I looked at her and she arched her brow at me, clearly not used to Elaine being so passive aggressive.

“Are we going to eat guys? I’m starving.” Chase groaned, throwing his head back dramatically.

“I haven’t ate at all today, what’s good around here?” I asked excitedly.

“Why haven’t you ate today?” Rudy inquired, his eyes full of worry.

“I’ve been on a plane for hours, I didn’t exactly want airport food.” I informed, rolling my eyes.

“You shouldn’t do that babe, how are you not sick?” he questioned. Everyone’s eyes widened when he said ‘babe’, my cheeks flushed.

“Stop lecturing me Ru,” I huffed.

==================================

“I’ve never seen her act like that before...” Maddie B confessed. We were sat in my room as everyone else departed to get ready for dinner.

“I thought you said she had a thing for Drew?” I said confusedly.

“The past few times we have all hung out together, they seemed more than friendly.” Maddie B declared, shrugging her shoulders.

“No matter, it’s not like there’s any competition.” I sighed, finishing up my makeup.

“You right because that boy is GONE for you!” she cheered.

“No Mads, because she is the Instagram photographer and I’m the DUFF of our friend group.” I rolled my eyes.

“Excuse you, but if anyone is the DUFF it’s Chase. Look at his hair y/n.” she scoffed. A knock on the door startled the both of us, Rudy poked his head in.

“Sorry to interrupt ladies, but we are all starving to death.” he stated, his eyes looking between us.

===================================

Dinner was super awkward, starting with when we went to sit down. I stayed behind to let everyone else pick their seats first, leaving Elaine to rush to sit beside Rudy. He quirked a brow at her, obviously confused why she wanted to sit by him so bad. Rudy patted the spot across from him, my cheeks blushing again as I sat down.

The conversations were hit and miss...anytime one of us tried to tell a story about the time we spent together, Elaine would interject about something her and Rudy did. She would subtly eye me, engaging my reaction. I felt so uncomfortable, that was until I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see Drew, my brother from another mother.

“Long time no see buddy!” he beamed. I rose up from my spot to hug him, ruffling his hair.

“I figured it was time to see what LA is all about, and as I’ve been told, my presence was long missed.” I teased, everyone laughed except Elaine.

Drew said hello to everyone, leaning to kiss Elaine’s cheek. I looked at Maddie B who was beside me, furrowing my brows in confusion. She shrugged her shoulders, waving as Austin joined our table. He leaned down to hug me, patting my head as he passed to take his seat. Rudy reached across the table to tap my hand, he smiled when I turned my attention to him.

“What are you getting? Do you want to share an appetizer with me?” he questioned.

“I’m really thinking of just getting chicken fingers, they look yummy.” I grinned. He gave me a ‘really’ look.

“Get whatever you want, you aren’t paying anyways.” he smirked, knowing this would rile me up.

“Rudy, no.” I groaned.

“No arguing, pick something that you really want babe.” he demanded.

“Wait are they dating?” I heard Drew whisper to Maddie C and Chase, not doing a very good job of not wanting me to hear.

“No, I wish they would though.” Maddie C replied.

The night got better, laughter filling the restaurant. It felt so good to be with my people again, my heart was full of joy. Rudy and Drew spent half our time shooting paper spit balls at each other, one even accidentally hitting Austin square in the face.

“Who’s up for clubbing tonight?!” Drew asked, earning cheers from a few of us.

“I don’t know if I’ll make it, I’m seriously jet lagged.” I yawned.

“Come on y/n, once you get a few shots in you’ll be good to go!” he insisted.

“I’ll take you back to the house if you really don’t want to go.” Rudy offered.

“Please y/n!” Maddie C begged, Maddie B joining in as well.

I looked at Rudy who just smiled at me, waiting for my response. I made a split second decision without really thinking about it.

“Ok, I’ll go.” I sighed.

What am I getting myself into?

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breathlester · 4 years

Text

How to survive a flight to Australia

pairing: dan howell/phil lester

summary: In which Dan suffers through horror in the form of planes, noise, and other people. But hey, at least he’s in it with Phil... (inspired by “will Dan and Phil survive Australia?”)

genre/themes: fluff, emotional hurt/comfort, established relationship, tatinof, travelling

content warnings: anxiety, ableist language

excerpt:

“Just try to actually sleep this time,” Phil suggests.

“I don’t think you understand that I did try, Phil, it’s just that a baby two rows behind us kept screaming like it was being murdered.”

“I didn’t hear anything.”

“Yeah, well, you’re fucking deaf.”

Dan aches to lean his head on Phil’s shoulder.

He resists. Instead he shifts his weight onto his right leg, stifling a whimper when his knee cracks uncomfortably.

They’re in line for the passport control, having just gotten off a plane to Hong Kong about two hours ago. A 12 hour flight, and another one of that duration lies ahead of them.

The prospect makes Dan want to cry. His legs and back are hurting from the cramped space and the too-small seat on the Asian airline company’s plane, and he’s anxious and gross and so tired.

Phil stood next to him seems impossibly unbothered by the impending horror.

His glasses are askew on his nose, his t-shirt is wrinkled but probably less disgustingly sticky than Dan’s sweatshirt (“It might be chilly on the plane, Phil, and unlike you I don’t want to freeze to death before we even get there”), and he’s playing angry birds on his phone.

Of course he is. He’s such a fucking child.

Except he isn’t, because unlike Dan he kept his cool earlier at the ticket booth when things took longer than expected and people in the queue started standing on their toes to stare at them.

Because Phil took care of stuff like an adult while Dan was standing next to him, back turned to the crowd hoping and praying they could just get away.

Fed up and worn out, his hair curling and his anxiety escalating amid all those fucking people, and - hi yes I am danisnotonfire of course you can have a selfie that’s a nice shirt have a great day bye! - he felt like he was going to fucking die right then and there.

It was Phil who got them out of there by smiling and politely declining and manoeuvring them through halls and doors and stairways when Dan had lost track.

Dan envies him.

No; he loves him.

Sometimes so much that it physically hurts to be unable to show it.

The tune for a failed level plays, and Phil glances up to find Dan staring.

“Fucking loser,” Dan mutters.

I love you, idiot.

Phil blinks and pushes up his glasses, smiling thinly. “You okay?”

I love you, too.

For a second he contemplates saying yes, but he’s just too done and this is Phil and he’s used to Dan complaining.

“Everything hurts and if there were a window here I’d jump out of it; why do you ask?” he grumbles as passive aggressively as he can muster.

They move along in the queue.

Phil draws his eyebrows together. “You need an aspirin, bear?”

Bear. I might never need anything else than you calling me that, thinks the mushier side of Dan, but out loud he says, “I need a bath and 14 hours of sleep, not a painkiller, Phil.”

Phil grimaces sympathetically and presses “Try again” on his phone.

Dan feels the urge to groan.

He resists.

An endless seven minutes later they’re finally second in line. Dan prepares to trudge forward when Phil suddenly stops dead in his tracks and Dan very nearly runs into him.

There’s a sinking feeling in Dan’s stomach quite similar to the one he got when their plane took off.

“What?”

Phil’s pulled his backpack down from one shoulder to riffle through its contents. “My pass.”

Dan breathes out through his teeth. “Phil Lester, don’t tell me you’ve lost your boarding pass.”

He can feel the annoyed stares like daggers in his back.

Phil’s arm has disappeared almost up to the elbow in his backpack.

“No, not my ticket; my passport.”

Dan wants to shout. Instead he hisses. “You literally just had it, where the fuck could you have put -”

Phil’s face lights up. He pulls his hand out of his backpack, empty except for some gum wrappers. Then he pats his back pockets. “I put it here!”

And indeed he produces the red booklet from one of his pockets.

Dan rolls his eyes. “Don’t shock me like that, you twat.”

Phil sticks his tongue out at him.

Then he moves to show an officer his papers.

Dan wonders how the hell they’ve survived even this far.

Dan slumps down further in his seat, feeling the plastic press into his back.

They’re in the waiting area for their flight to Australia and the woman behind them won’t stop talking rapidly to her husband. At least it’s in Chinese so Dan doesn’t have to actually listen to her life story.

But it’s exhausting all the same. He wants quiet. He wants his bed at home. He wants Phil.

Phil’s sat next to him.

“I spy something red.”

“No.”

“Come on, Dan.”

“Fuck you.”

“Dan!” Phil nudges him, his pointy elbow poking Dan’s side. He recoils.

“There are children here.”

Dan huffs. “I don’t fucking care. If they can spend 12 hours consecutively crying on a plane, then I can swear around them.”

Phil puts his hand on Dan’s knee.

The old woman across from them looks down at it, then up at Phil’s face.

He pulls it back.

Dan’s entire body feels tense. At least there are no potential fans in their proximity.

“Just try to actually sleep this time,” Phil suggests.

“I don’t think you understand that I did try, Phil, it’s just that a baby two rows behind us kept screaming like it was being murdered.”

“I didn’t hear anything.”

“Yeah, well, you’re fucking deaf.”

He’s breathing faster now, and he’s fully aware that he’s about to talk himself into a fit, but he doesn’t have the restraint nor the energy to hold back.

“If i have to sit through just one more fucking hour of screaming I’m going to join in. I’m serious, Phil, I’m so fucking sick of this flying crap, I’m too tall for this shit. Couldn’t we get a hotel room for just one night in between the flights to give my body some bloody rest? No, because that would cost us and we want to be there ahead of schedule. Do you know how many fucks i give about your stupid fucking schedu-”

“Dan.”

“What-”

Phil’s fingers are suddenly on his chin, and then his lips are on Dan’s.

Dan’s stomach does the same as before, only this time it feels like a skydiver taking a jump, and a rushing starts in his ears. This isn’t the place. He’s 100% sure the old woman is gawking at them right now. Oh god, what if she’s someone’s grandma and she’s taking photos -

A low noise of protest escapes Dan before he pulls away just a bit, just as much as he can force himself to, and squeaks “Phil”.

But Phil keeps his eyes closed and pecks his lips again very sweet and slow, and Dan simply can’t resist.

He sighs softly and melts against Phil’s mouth, his eye lids slipping closed. Phil’s hand is firm and warm on his jaw and his tongue brushes against Dan’s bottom lip, making his insides flutter like a bird getting sucked into a plane’s turbine.

Nevermind that old woman; let her stare.

He grins against Phil’s mouth.

Right at that moment, their boarding group is called up.

Of course.

Phil pulls away, keeping his forehead pressed against Dan’s long enough to say, “relax, ok?”

Then he moves to pick up his backpack. Dan follows his lead, feeling suddenly quite a lot lighter. Almost as light as though he could fly.

Well, he’s about to.

“You just kissed me at a public airport,” he murmurs while tying his jacket around his waist, “and you’re asking me to relax?”

Phil shoulders his backpack. “Come on.”

Dan shakes his head, but follows without protest.

When they stand in line, Dan doesn’t look at him; he just runs his fingers up Phil’s arm to curl around his biceps.

“You’re incredible, Phil Lester,” he says as softly as a breath.

Phil keeps staring straight ahead, but bumps his hip into Dan’s.

“Some even call me amazing.”

Before the flight attendant beckons them forward, Dan allows himself two things: he groans and lets his head sink onto Phil’s shoulder.

He may hate planes and 12 hour flights, but as long as Phil is next to him, Dan knows he’ll make it through.

*** this used to be on my ao3 page (softiejace). i’m taking my phan content down from there for personal reasons but reposting it here so people can still enjoy it :) ***

#phanfic #my fic #softiejace #phan fic #phan

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amusedyan · 5 years

Note

I'm loving your blog. So listen, I'd die for some Ouran content. Maybe a Kyoya falling for a guest at some Ootori party, she was brought along by some wealthy friend of hers and is not into the wealthy elite at all, something that bothers but intrigues Kyoya. I'd love to see him try to woo her, become protective of her, because she lives such a dangerous regular commoners life without body guards. Then try to save her from that life. How would he react to her misbehaving or being generally 1/2

Unhappy with the situation he’s put her in? Whether it’s him micromanaging every aspect of her life or him having actually locked her up in some corner of the Ootori manor? Personally, I always saw Kyoya as someone who enjoyed old-fashioned punishments. Like a spanking over the knee. But it’s totally up to you. I love where you took that Bakugo fic, so I trust you to take this where ever. Honestly, I’d just be so grateful if you had any Ouran content to offer. Again, love your work so far 2/2

Yay my first Ouran request! Thanks so much nonnie for requesting this, I love Kyoya- his deadpan humor and general attitude just give me so many ideas and make him such a great character! And those same traits make him terrifying as a yandere!

Bitter

You hated fancy parties.

You picked at your collar and tried not to look like you were bored out of your mind as all the rich people mingled and laughed discussed business over food and drinks more expensive than your family’s monthly grocery bill.

It was funny. You could write off your friend’s eccentric behavior, but in a group of rich people? Well, the bitterness crept back in and left a sour tang in your mouth.

You glanced down at your flute of champagne. It would be, what, your third? Reluctantly you returned it- you were a guest, getting blackout drunk was not on your shortlist of ‘great ideas for parties full of rich people’. So you just mingled politely, staying close to your friend.

“Mr. Ootori!” She declared happily, waving over a dark haired man with a calm smile and glasses. There’s half a moment of hesitation on his part before he approaches- you can’t blame him; a brief word with your friend turns into half an hour with her.

“Glad you could make it,” he offered dutifully, and oh that was interesting- he had that same look in his eyes you did- like he couldn’t stand his own kind. It had to be some kind of joke.

You found yourself smiling for the first time that night, and caught the way his eyes flashed at you for the briefest of seconds before it was gone.

Maybe you’d imagined it.

“I see you’ve made use of the plus one on your invitation.” He remarked, and your friend laughed and introduced you.

Ootori nodded and looked back at you with a raised eyebrow, “I don’t believe I’ve heard of you.” His tone was just detached enough that you couldn’t be sure if it was a joke or an insult.

“You wouldn’t- I’m not pedigreed.” You wished you could take a drink as a mic drop. Instead you just had to content yourself with your friend’s horrified look.

But Ootori just looked amused.

“Man people prefer mutts to purebreds,” he said in that same level tone.

As a person who’d had several mutts growing up, you could confirm that they were better. Less health problems.

He asked what your job was and you mentioned the field, notwanting to stray into talk about work. Work was work, and frankly here wasn’tthe place to talk about it. Thankfully Ootori accepted it and didn’t push,instead managing to draw you into aconversation that didn’t make you want to beat your own head in. It was nice.

Finally, he had to excuse himself and see to his otherduties as host, but before he left he caught your hand and brought it up to pressa gentle kiss there. It stopped you short, as did the small smile playing onhis lips.

“Until we meet again,” he promised cryptically, before goingoff to join his people.

Your friend was gawking at you.

You decided maybe one more glass of champagne wouldn’t hurtyou.

Two weeks after the Ootori party Kyoya Ootori himself walkedinto your favorite coffee shop, saw you and invited himself to sit at yourtable after taking his order. The man was far out of his element but didn’tseem in the least bit uncomfortable, exuding a calm confidence and sense ofcontrol that made clear why he was so good at his job.

(And yeah, you had gone the creepy route and looked him upon the internet, rather than just asking your friend; they might have gone toschool together once upon a time but that didn’t mean they wouldn’t misreadyour questions as interest and let him know about it on a lark.

Despite being the youngest Kyoya had managed to earn hisplace as heir of Ootori conglomerate. He was ruthless in business but one hellof philanthropist, setting up multiple scholarship programs for elite schoolsthat lower income students wouldn’t have access to, on top of the dozens ofother charities that the company donated to on the regular. And that was whatyou could track down in maybe 45 minutes)

“Pretty far from your side of town,” you observed, addinganother packet of sugar to your coffee.

“I had business in the area and needed a coffee.” You hummed and watched him watch you.

He was quiet for a minute and you took the time to drink your coffee. His was pure black, you’d heard him order it.

“You remind me of a friend I had.” He said suddenly, and you stayed quiet, although you were a little confused because he didn’t seem like the type to have friends. “She wasn’t impressed by money either.”

“Smart of her.”

He chuckled a little bit, no more than a huff.

“I’d like to take you out for dinner sometime.” Now that actually made you look at him properly. He hadn’t taken his eyes off you yet.

“Because I’m not interested in money?”

“Because I find your conversation relaxing and I’d like to think you feel the same way.”

It was a bit weird; you’d had maybe 20 minutes total of talking with this man. Technically those twenty minutes were enjoyable. Kyoya was blunt and composed and intelligent; you could appreciate that in a man.

“Alright.” You agreed, surprising yourself.

Kyoya’s smile unfolded into something a little more open. You wondered how often people saw this one.

You exchanged numbers and the promise of detail exchange later; you had to get back to work soon, and even though he didn’t say he needed to leave you were sure that he needed to get back too.

There were flowers on your desk at work the next day.

The bouquet was gorgeous; lavender roses and baby’s breath- you didn’t even know that lavender roses this nice were in season.

The card on the vase (a very nice, very expensive looking vase) confirmed your suspicions.

I saw these and thought of you.

-Ootori Kyoya

And you smiled because it was really thoughtful.

But…how did he know where you worked?

Ootori: Did you receive the flowers?

Me: Yes I did! They’re beautiful, thanks!

Me: How did you know where I worked?

Ootori: You told me at the party, remember?

Me: Ah, sorry, I must have forgotten!

Me: Thanks again, Ootori.

Ootori: Call me Kyoya, please.

You work out a good night for the both of you to go out. It took some shuffling on your part, but at least Kyoya seemed willing to work with you.

He meant what he said at least- he was serious about dinner.

And it was dinner at a really nice restaurant; one that had a really long wait list ordinarily and didn’t have a price on the menu.

Well, you get to break out your formal clothes again, and it was nice to watch the way Kyoya’s expression changed when you entered the dining area. The softening of his mask maybe.

“You look nice.” Was all he said about it, though, even as he stood up to pull out your chair for you.

“Thanks, so do you.” And he did. Kyoya could have worn anything and pulled it off, probably.

The server came by moments later with wine and glasses. That was nice at least, but again…

“You ordered for me?” You asked, smiling. He nodded.

“I thought it more convenient.”

Pushy, but whatever, he meant well.

Except…

The pushing didn’t stop.

It started with the wine, yeah, but it just got worse.

Kyoya didn’t understand how to not overstep his bounds, and he always looked amused when you started to point out that looking up your girlfriend’s home address was still creepy, even when the intent was to send you flowers. And he sent you a lot of flowers.

But no, Kyoya, having several bodyguards walk you home from work didn’t make you feel safe, especially when they weren’t allowed to talk to you.

And he just…he didn’t get it.

You wanted to break up with him, but the problem was Kyoya, when he wasn’t disrespecting your boundaries at least, was charming, intelligent, and honestly you liked him a lot. You just figured it was one of those things you would work out with him, or maybe it was new relationship jitters.

When Kyoya tried to give you a watch more expensive than your apartment, you finally, firmly, put your foot down.

“It’s too expensive,” you argued firmly.

“I already bought it.”

“Then return it, because I can’t possibly accept it.” It made you uncomfortable, how willing he was to drop so much money on you so fast.

“I can’t return it, it was personalized.” He said, frowning. And…okay, touching, but still…

You turned it over in your hand and blinked at the elegant writing

For my darling

“That’s…really sweet, Kyoya.”

He hugged you gently, awkwardly. You got the feeling he wasn’t used to initiating, but that was fine.

“I just want you to have the best.”

“I know.”

(Your first time with Kyoya is…wonderful. He worships you and breaks you apart gently and puts you back together with his touch. The whole time he looks at you like he’s having a religious experience, doesn’t break eye contact, doesn’t close his eyes.

For a minute you could have sworn he was crying)

Kyoya started inviting you to parties and events with him three months into your relationship.

The idle speculation and blank smiles from your time as a normal guest were gone, replaced with biting comments and passive aggression. It sucks, but it gave you an excuse to stay with Kyoya, and he didn’t seem to mind.

It was nice though, watching that dark look flash in his eyes when someone made a comment.

But he kept your hand in his and doted on you in his own way all evening.

You split away from him, briefly, to use the bathroom and check how you looked in the mirror. Not a hair was out of place and you didn’t look a thing like yourself.

On your way back, not 10 feet from your boyfriend, a guest flush with bourbon and bolstered by his friends inquired “how much the Ootori runt paid for you” because he’d “pay double”. You flushed with rage, but before you could get a word out Kyoya was the one to appear and drag you out of his sight.

“I could have handled it, Kyoya.” You promised, but he shook his head.He didn’t stop, handing over the tickets to get your coats. “The party isn’t over yet, don’t you still have business-”

“They don’t deserve to look at you,” he snarled, and it was with a vehemence you never would have expected from him, it startled you so bad.

“Kyoya-”

“No. We’re going home and they’re never going to see you again.”

Oh.

You took your coat, quiet, letting Kyoya guide you to his car and opened it for you, sliding into the backseat with you.

“Are you ashamed of me?” You asked quietly, watching him roll up the tinted divider between you and the driver.

Are you going to leave me? Went unasked. That fear just…it crippled you. He wouldn’t, would he? Just because his associates didn’t like you?

“Never.” He promised firmly, pulling you into his lap. You hesitated but moved to assist, curling up against him. “I would never be ashamed of you. You’re mine.” And those words were so cold, despite the warm look in his eyes.

“But you said-”

“They’ll never set eyes on you again because they don’t deserve to look at you. I’m going to take you home and you’re going to stay there where I can keep you safe and away from their filthy eyes. Alright, darling?”

His lips were on your neck, his whisper made your bones warm. But you shook your head no.

“Kyoya, it’s fine, people are going to be rude-”

“They don’t have a right to be that way to you, not when you’re mine.”

You laughed a little, trying to diffuse the tension, squirming, trying to get off his lap. Kyoya’s arms were iron around you though, holding you tight, so tight you couldn’t breathe.

“Let go of me, Kyoya,”

“No, we’re going home and I’m going to show you how much you’re worth.”

“As romantic as that sounds, I really have to get back to my place-”

Kyoya’s grip on your jaw was punishing, his nails digging in and bruising you for for sure.

“Shut up.”

“Kyoya-”

He kissed you harsh, it was biting and angry and you were sure that you tasted blood.

“You are mine. I’ve let you wander long enough, so be quiet and be good and everything will be fine. If you don’t then I will have to hurt you, do you understand?” When you didn’t answer right away he shook you.

“Understand?”

#ouran hshc #ouran host club #kyoya ootori #yandere ohshc #yandere kyoya

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bellamygateoldblog · 4 years

Text

The 100 Aesthetic/Preferences Tag

Tagged by: @blodreina-noumou ty babe!!

This is a tag game about AESTHETICS, not content, plot, characterization, etc. Just keep that in mind.

Rank the seasons from favorite to least favorite:

2 > 1 > 3 > 5 > 4 (me, petty: *won’t even put 6 on the ranking*)

2 - I think 2 has Octavia’s best look, very ‘Grounder In Training’ which was really really cute lol. Then there was the beginning of Clarke’s desent into grime, from pristine princess to getting weighed down with the dirt of her own emotions and percieved obligations and I liked to see it.

1 - everyone is clean and baby-faced and it reminds me of a simpler time. Was a fan of guard!Bellamy hair gel and all, it really brought out the douche in him. This season has my favourite Raven (she GLOWS) and Clarke Sky Babe looks. Jasper’s goggles. Dropship site was iconic.

3 - I appreciated the grimy aesthetic of season three because they really committed to the Goin’ Thru It.

The drastic shift in Jasper’s look was something I really liked. His boyish features are gone and now merely a ghost of innocence remains, in it’s place we have a more mature, hardened demeanor in the form of facial hair and a lack of cute, floppy hairstyle.

5 - we got the spacekru ‘clan’ look! In previous seasons we’ve seen clans have markers indicating who they belong to, Trikru with their earthy colours and wearing leaves, Azgeda with their furs and white paints, and Floukru with their ocean imagery, and now we see the survivors of apocalypse in their bluish-grey space tones styled in a way that makes it absolutely clear they’re all apart of the same group. We see a new headscarf for Emori, still very much herself but refashioned. And no glove! She’s completely comfortable with her new family. The scarf was very unique to her character so someone tell me why after all this they completely threw it out for season 6? Oh yeah it’s because season 6 isn’t real, it didn’t happen, I do Not See It.

All the boys glo-ed up. Loved that. All the girls started wearing their hair looser, Raven has her two strands sneaking out of her signature ponytail- she still very much looks like ‘Raven’ but everyone just in general looks more relaxed, like they’ve had a breather. In terms of the world, I loved the stark differences in the three main locations, and every one of them felt haunting but in different ways. Ghost lands. The wasteland of 5 was almost reminicent of the desert back in season 2, now devistated. The bunker was suffocating and chilling. The valley felt weirdly sinister in all it’s colours.

4 - eventually everyone looked peak skaikru, no longer delinquents in their various multi-coloured bomber jackets, marking their youth, but fully-fledged members of their group. I liked the way s4 almost paralleled s1 in look, they’re all wearing the same colours, but while they are all technically clean, they still look less presentable and exhausted compared to S1. Bellamy, again, like in season 1, is in his guard uniform but it’s more an upgraded and more mature version. In a way it looked like we came full circle. And Clarke and Octavia both going back to a more skaigirl hairstyle was the cherry on top. Luna’s costumes are probably my favourites on the entire show. I have no idea how we went from costumes of such intricasy and consistency to...’what in the name of halloween store clearance sale is that?’ in season 6.

6 - sanctum’s costumes were literally so ugly i don’t even wanna talk about it please don’t make me do it...

ok i go

1) Controversial ik but Emori’s Prime dress missed the mark. I liked the addition of the cape, but, again, it was so bare otherwise. There was no embroidery, no jewels, and the accessories they did give her were clunky and looked cheap. It looked too prom night. She was supposed to be royalty. And she didn’t look like it at all.

2) Absolutely hated the fact they put a pound of makeup on each of the space sisters’ faces. And the fact they gave them all unnaturally curled hair. Meanwhile Clarke and Octavia still somewhat look natural and ordinary so...what’s going on? And why?

Rank Clarke’s hair each season from best to worst:

1 > 6 > 2 > 4 > 5 > 3

some thoughts;

Not a fan of her season 4 hair, and i can’t articulate my dislike very well but why’d her roots get so dark? She never had dark roots in season 1, this character is a natural blonde, and yet over the seasons they became progressively darker and tbh? It started to irritated me. Also I don’t think the cut framed her face quite right? SOMETHING okay? Something about it......

Rank Bellamy’s hair/beard each season from best to worst:

3 > 1,2,4,6 < 5

The real debate: Bellamy in the blue shirt or the tan?

They both look the same to me. lol. Blue.

Clarke’s blue dress or pink dress?

Neither. Both weren’t very good looking. If you were holding me at gun point I’d say blue, but the cut did the opposite of help. And if they were gonna have a moment where Clarke, oblivious to her own *ethereal beauty* and not like the other girls, walks down the stairs ready to throw her hair into a messy bun and get sold to One Direction, they could’ve at least put her in a more suitable dress. Something a bit more glamourous, sophisticated, something to justify the 10 people in the room staring up at her in awe. It’s such a casual, tasteless dress? And she isn’t even wearing shoes? She isn’t wearing anything shiny, she didn’t do anything to her hair. We saw what other dresses and accessories Delilah had in her closet, the yellow and pink soft-flowing, feminine classy dresses and the pretty headwear she wore in her own short time in the season. But you give Clarke, your protagonist, that unflattering one? One that she so clearly hastily threw on and headed out in? She got two outfit changes, while none of the other main girls got any at all, and they were both ugly LIKE what was even the point?

Favorite Raven season: Her season 1 baby face just cannot be beat, she looks beautiful. And I only use that word very particularly.

Raven’s ark vest or red bomber jacket?

how about that red popper shirt from season 4

Raven’s ponytail or her s6 look?

Ponytail. It’s Raven. S6 look betrayed what her character was about.

Favorite Octavia season: 2! I love the baby grounder look.

Octavia’s hair in s2 (the braids) or s4 (the ponytail)?

The braids just because they were more interesting to look at.

Blodreina or Skairipa?

Blodreina. Like I said somewhere up there ^ that whole costume was a breath of fresh air.

Favorite Murphy season: S5!

Murphy with long hair or short hair?

I appreciated the rat boy look while it lasted, but the short hair makes him look good, while his other hairstyles pretty much were just there to contribute to the climate of his character.

Favorite Monty season: 5. Bout time they made him look grown. He’s actually a pretty ruthless and passive aggressive kid, the fact he looked so sweet in previous seasons really tricked a lot of the fanbase into believing he was some tiny cinnamon roll.

Favorite overall episode: I’m awful at seperating episodes. I just can’t do it lol

Favorite scene of all time: I just don’t have the best memory for these things. I quite liked the reveal of Blodreina, the transition is takes from Cooper in the very first arena fight to current day, and it switches from blue to red, and slowly reveals Blodreina. The music change gave me chills. Everything about the scene just felt really dark and eery. I was uncomfortable. And I loved it.

Biggest wish for s7: Visually/aesthetically, decide which style you’re going for. I’ve said this before somewhere but Sanctum was a confusing mess of sci-fi, royal, prom night, and divergent amity. Pick one and get back to me.

I want a better designed world. I want all the set and costume designers to actually communicate and work together to make the world look like something professional and not a cosplay convention on a cheap set with a big paper mache castle.

Also I’d love for all the girls to not be all dolled-up. Give Raven her ponytail back, I’ll even settle for the low pony. Give Emori her headscarf back. And go get them all some face wipes. Maybe give someone other than Clarke an oppurtunity to wear something besides their murder gear. And maybe make that something actually good looking. Put some effort in. Sheesh.

I don’t follow many people and most of the ones I do are hibernating lol. I fully encourage someone to steal this. But in the meantime: @johnmurphysreddit @awesomenell65

#the 100 #tag game

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totaldramafan-lauri · 4 years

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RPing and me

This is gonna be a vent post about something that happened today, and it gets into stuff that happened in the past, so if you don’t care about that, don’t read.

As I’ve alluded to in a few past posts, I have an RPing background (it’s where my typing style came from, heheh XD). I used to RP all the flipping time when I was a teenager, and was a part of many groups over the years, RPing characters in a few different fandoms. But, after a certain incident, that I’ll get into later, I....haven’t done it in years. I was super discouraged to, and....kinda afraid to, to be honest. I-I know it sounds stupid, but....yeah.

But recently, thanks to the Discord server I’ve endlessly gushed about, I’ve been kinda easing myself back into it.....m-mainly for indulgence purposes, sure, but that’s kinda the point of the server.....And I’ve even become interested in diving into the stuff....I, er, never tried before....And so far, I’ve had a pretty good time. They’re not serious RPs, and usually they aren’t all that long, but the fact that my new friends are willing to....i-indulge me like that, even a little....m-makes me very happy.....>/////<

So, last night, a friend on Discord had started an RP with me. And.....it was getting really good....like, it was going in a direction that I really....was excited about. But.....then, they stopped it. All of a sudden, with no warning....they gave a reason for it, and sounded really sincere, so I’m not mad at them at all, but....it still stung. Getting excited over something and then very suddenly being let down has aaaalways been a weakness of mine.....and with this in particular....I cried. I actually, physically cried. And I immediately hated myself for it. I began beating on myself for overreacting, which led to me blaming myself for.....pretty much everything. I thought that maybe they were lying, maybe it was because of ME. Like, I was just THAT boring.

It led to a downward spiral of self-loathing that I vented to everyone about, and they thankfully helped me feel better, but.....geez, what a way for that to happen. What a stupid flipping thing to be the catalyst for a breakdown, right? XD

Well....it also reminded me of why I stopped RPing. Because I was scared of stuff like this. Not just RPs I like being dropped, but me reacting like THAT. I know all too well about being so invested in an RP, the feelings for a character being so overwhelmingly strong that you just want it to keep going, and then everything screeching to a halt so fast that you can practically hear a record scratch in the background.....and then finding out that you were the only one having fun.

The last RP group I was in, when I was 17-18....I won’t give away the fandom or the website cuz I wanna keep details vague, just in case some of the people somehow ended up here....I was absolutely in love with this group, and the story we had created. I spent so many nights with them, RPing or even just talking OOC. We even had a nice schedule where we would RP on a specific three nights of the week. The story was really intense and emotional, and it had took many exciting turns over the year....My OC even ended up in a relationship with the character I was crushing on, and I didn’t even ask for it, it just happened. Sometimes, people would plan out stuff around my character without me to leave me in suspense, and it worked every single time. So, naturally, I was very very content with everything. But then, people started to drift....at first, I thought it was because of school and other IRL stuff, and didn’t think much of it, but THEN....after about a year of fun times....

The mods came to a decision to.....restart the RP from scratch. It was completely outta nowhere, and naturally, I....didn’t respond too well. I BROKE DOWN. I asked, over and over, why, why would you do this, why would you erase everything we’ve built, why would you act like it never happened, there’s gotta be another way to renew interest that DOESN’T involve that.....And the answers I got just made it worse.

To put it simply: People were unhappy with the way things were going. Things had become too dark and dramatic, and they wanted things to be more lighthearted. To rub salt in the wound, everyone else was perfectly fine with this RP reset, despite the fact that it would be leaving the old RP ending on a cliffhanger. It was just ME who was freaking out.

That’s when it hit me that.....yeah, I was the only one who was still having fun.

I....took that part pretty hard. I began thinking back to everything that happened, evaluating the way everyone acted, looking for ANY signs that I should’ve noticed sooner....I recalled a couple instances of me expressing interest in certain plots....and distaste in certain others. I recalled me saying things like “I don’t like that” and thinking it was fine for me to say that because I wasn’t explicitly ASKING them not to do it. I recalled a few times where I would act out or have a meltdown when an RP session would get cancelled. I recalled a few times where an RPer would quit and only come back if certain things became closer to canon, and me making passive aggressive comments toward them....

And I realized.....the problem was me. The reason no one was having fun anymore was me. The reason everything had to be reset was because of me. Everyone had done so much to make me happy, and I hadn’t even considered thinking about how they felt. I had only thought about what I wanted. And the more things went my way, the more invested I got....Everyone was too nice to tell me I was acting like a spoiled brat.

I tried to keep going after the reset, but couldn’t do it. Not only did it leave a sour taste in my mouth, but there were a crapload of new rules put in place (some of which that I just plain didn’t agree with) that ensured the story wouldn’t go to a dark place (which, again, I had liked) again.

And....ever since then, I....I really started checking and double-checking myself for manipulative behaviors. I was even told by someone that it sounded like I was “manipulating” everyone, and having that said to me really hurt. It was never my intention, but....was I really a manipulative person? Was I really.....selfishly forcing people to pay attention to me? Because I got too invested in the RP?...

So...that’s why I never joined another group. Finding out that I basically ruined my last one and I didn’t find out until it was too late hurt too much....There were TIMES I’d try again, but it always had me thinking, over and over, “How does the other person feel? Are they having as much fun as me?” and feeling guilty whenever I’d get invested because of that.

I never want any RP partners to feel bored or uncomfortable with me ever again....Put those worries together with my usual low self-esteem, and....yeah.

Getting back into RPing recently has been good for the most part, but....Now and then, I get reminded of the things that made me stop. The worries of bothering people, of not feeling like I’m worth anyone’s time, of not wanting them to deal with my crap...of people getting sick of me......of not wanting things like that to happen again.....

Last night, I got reminded of the person I used to be, who had gotten so addicted to RPing that she no longer considered that the people she was playing with were actual people with feelings.

I never wanna become that person again.

At least I learned from that experience. I’ll give myself that much.

#venting

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melonkooky · 6 years

Text

bts reaction - a girl tries to get into their s/o’s pants

requested

genre: angst??? fluff??? idk, business!au, mafia!au

warnings: sexual hinting/references

author’s note: i always put ‘s/o’ in the title but in this reaction, it’s their gf that gets hit on by another girl and bts get jealous. also, i hope you don’t mind but there are two au’s in this reaction. and this is probably more sexual than it needed to be... i apologize for everything 😂😂😂

please do not copy my work. but please like and and reblog it. thank you!!!!

masterlist

kim seokjin

kim seokjin was invited to a very important party. he had been promoted to ceo of this company. seokjin was liked throughout the entire company so many wanted to celebrate with him. but of course, seokjin would not attend if his girlfriend wouldn’t be able to, but that would never be a problem. tonight, you wore a lovely gown, one that wrapped your figure perfectly, one that caused many of your unique features to stand out. as this was a big party, seokjin wanted to show you of to everyone. he was very excited about meeting new people and being the center of attention at this party, he stated to you in the car. you laughed at him. when you arrived, seokjin told you to find your friends, you had a few at the company. but they weren’t seen so you got a drink and sat at the bar. you glanced over your shoulder to fine seokjin. he was sitting with a few managers and they seemed to be laughing at a joke seokjin said. you turned around and suddenly, a girl sat down in the seat next to you. you smiled, thinking she just wanted to talk but she was already drunk. “you’re y/n.”

you nodded. “ah, i always wanted to meet you.” then she leaned closer to your ear. “why don’t we ditch this place and go to my car? it had soft, leather seats.” she said seductively.

you pulled away and looked at her. she had a mischievous smile. was she suggesting to do something in the backseat of her car? she laughed at your reaction and placed a hand on your thigh. “you look hot in that dress. i wonder what you would look like with it off.”

and suddenly, seokjin appeared behind you. “oh, cherry, you’re already drunk. that’s not a surprise. i’d appreciate it if you didn’t hit on my girlfriend.” he said with an innocent smile.

she glared at him and fled. seokjin smiled proudly, sitting down. you stared at him, still a bit shocked at the sudden turn of events. “how about a drink, love?”

min yoongi

you and yoongi had stopped by a convenience store on the way home. well, mainly you begged him to drive you there. you wanted some snacks for at home and they were always cheap at convenience stores. plus, you liked dates at the convenience store. they were cute. luckily, it was late so the store was empty. you walked into the store, yoongi following behind you. he was tired but you were hungry - priorities, yoongi. you began to weave between all the aisles, trying to find something that would fit your stomach’s needs. occasionally, yoongi would grab something for himself. eventually you came to the ramen aisle. ramen was always a good late night snack. yoongi patiently waited for you to grab the kind you wanted. “hey, grab to of those, will you?” he asked you quietly, deciding that he was hungry too.

you grinned at him and got two. then you and him got to the cashier. he reached into his pockets but he couldn’t fine anything. “i left my wallet in the car. stay here.” he told you and went out.

you looked at the female cashier in front of you. she was scanning the items but kept glancing at you. it made you think if you have ever met her before, it was like she knew you. but then you noticed the blush in her cheeks when you smiled at her out of politeness. “ramen is my favorite too.” she commented. you simply nodded, feeling awkward by yourself. what was taking yoongi so long? they bell on the door rang, yoongi had walked in again.

“hey, i get off in a few minutes. you want to wait for me and then i can take you to my place?” she bit her lip, looking at your with hopeful eyes.

yoongi shook his head as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder, the wallet in his hand. “she can’t. her boyfriend - me - is taking her home. so if you could take my card and not pay any attention to my girlfriend, that would be splendid.

you just didn’t say a word. yoongi said it so passive-aggressively, he really was jealous.

jung hoseok

(i’m sorry i have a thing for hoseok and clothes shopping).

you and hoseok decided to dedicate a day to shopping. even if he already had a lot of expensive clothes, many probably designer clothing, he still found enjoyment in shopping, especially if you were with him. you and him would joke around and try on clothes you were never even think on buying, sometimes turning the dressing room into a fashion show. but today, hoseok had his wallet and was planning on buying things for both you and him. when you entered the store, a girl specifically greeted you. “hello, today we’re having a 30% off sale.” you nodded and thanked her before following hoseok. eventually, hoseok had found an assortment of clothes to try on, many airport fashion worthy outfits. the same lady approached you and hoseok. “do you need a dressing room?” hoseok nodded and she led him to a vacant room. you followed and then took a seat on the couch directly in front of hoseok’s room. as he disappeared behind the door, the lady approached you again. she sat down next to you and that kinda annoyed you, like doesn’t she have a job to do. she began to speak, “you know, it’s ironic how i work at a clothes store, but all i could think about was you without any clothes on as soon as you walked in.”

you gulped, feeling very uncomfortable. “um, if you could like, do your job.”

she grinned. “ah, playing hard to get, aren’t we?”

suddenly, hoseok opened the door, revealing the first outfit. he flashed a grin at the lady next to you. “you trying to get into my girlfriend’s pants?”

she froze.

he nodded, “yeah, i bought those pants so technically, only i can get into them. bye now.”

he was rude yet so hot. he smiled at you, feeling shy at what he just did. “i got so mad that she was hitting on you.” he admitted.

kim namjoon

namjoon was a well-known mafia boss leader. he and bts were rumored to be the most scariest mafia groups in all of south korea. their name ‘bts’ was rumored to stand for ‘bulletproof boy scouts’, that alone sounded scary. but being the leader meant meeting others for alliances or money or missions. namjoon always brought you along because you seemed to be lucky, having gotten him many deals. today, it was alliance. this was a relatively new mafia leader who wanted to establish alliances. he asked you and namjoon to dinner, to which namjoon accepted. when you and namjoon arrived at the restaurant, you were showed to a private room. inside, there was what seemed to be the leader, and there was a girl next to him. she smiled at you as you entered. you sat across from her, namjoon sitting next to you. “i’m chongsu. this is my daughter jungah.” he introduced. so then namjoon introduced himself and you and then the talking began, the getting to know each other-joking type of talked right before a deal is made. however, you and jungah weren’t included so she decided to talk to you. you thought you would become friends with her but she seemed to have other intentions. “are you free this coming friday?”

you shook you head. “why?”

“i just renovated my place and my bedroom,” she leaned closer to you and lowered her voice, “had a few secret places where i hide my toys.”

you grimaced and looked at her. “my boyfriend is literally right here.”

namjoon’s heard you and looked at you. “is she hitting on you?”

“she’s trying to get me to have sex with her.”

namjoon suddenly stood up, flashing a glare to both the daughter and the boss. “well, no deal here. sorry, we got to go now.” he kissed your cheek and pulled you out of the restaurant. “no one’s going to be stealing my girl.”

park jimin

jimin had called you early in the morning, much to your disliking. you had planned to sleep in late into the morning, since jimin told you he was going to be hanging out with someone. he called you saying he had a change of plans and actually wanted you to meet this person, not giving any clues as to who this person was. you got up and showered, getting dressed after. now that you were awake, you felt a little excited to meet this person. when you arrived at the dorm, jimin answered and hurried you since. “morning, jagi.”he pecked your lips. then when you walked in, there was a girl sitting on the couch. she stood up and smiled. “jagi, this is my cousin eunbi. she had come from busan to visit me. apparently she hadn’t met you yet.” you had been dating jimin for a many months and you’ve met almost his entire family, guess just not his cousin. she was very nice and pretty. you felt that you and her were going to be great friends since she was similar to you. while you and her were talking, jimin had to use the restroom. while he was gone, she turned to you. “i can’t hide this feeling anymore. i think you’re very hot, and you’re funny, and nice. yes, your jimin’s girlfriend, but what if you took me to your place and we...do some things...on the bed?” she winked.

“um, eunbi...”

she scooted closer and placed her hand on your thigh, stroking it a bit. “you just look so...good. i can only imagine you without clothes on and how good you’d taste.” you froze at all these things that were on her mind. luckily, jimin walked out and saw her hand on you. “eunbi, why are you touching my girlfriend like that?”

“i’m sorry, jimin. i just couldn’t help myself, she just looks so... and i only recently found that i’m bisexual so i have all these new feelings for girls-”

jimin sighed, not wanting to be rude. “i understand but y/n is my girlfriend, please don’t touch or talk about her like that.” jimin felt bad for snapping at her like that. “but i do know some friends who would be interested.”

kim taehyung

taehyung wanted to take a nice walk with you. it was a warm day, a nice, gentle breeze, a perfect day for a walk, he said. and it was. so you and him got dressed, clothes worthy enough for couple goals type pictures. then, hand in hand, you two found a lovely park full of trees and a nice track to follow. you and him took lots of pictures of each other, some posing and others when you or him weren’t looking. mostly it was him taking or asking you to take pictures. “i’m going to post them on twitter later.”

then, when nearing a playground, a little girl approached him. “uh, mister. do you think you can push me on the swing? my-my mom won’t do it.” taehyung’s eyes widened and looked at who this little girl was pointing to. sure enough, the mother was on her phone when she should be watching her child. taehyung felt bad so he flashed you a smile before picking the girl up. she laughed and your heart swarmed with love. such...daddy...material. as you were left behind, you took a seat at the bench provided by the playground. you smiled and watched the little girl smile so wide as taehyung placed her in the swing. you wished that little girl was your child, honestly she was adorable. but then a girl sat down next to you. “are any of them yours?” she asked.

you pointed to taehyung. “that one’s mine.” you joked.

she laughed but then scooted closer to you. “well, how about you and me leave him here and we go do something...more fun...at my place?”

taehyung noticed the girl earlier, she was watching you and now he saw that she was talking to you. he felt a pang of jealousy as this girl obvious was hitting on his girl. so he told the girl he had to go, much to her dismay, and approached you, sitting down behind you and wrapping his arms around you. “she’s off the market.”

the stranger scowled, just wanting to have a little sex... but taehyung grinned proudly.

jeon jungkook

jungkook and you were practically sweating inside your apartment. your heating and cooling machine thing that controlled the temperature of your apartment broke in the morning. thought the day wasn’t particularly hot, with the sun shining though the windows and having no ac was enough to warm up the room. wearing little to no clothes didn’t seem to do the trick. “why don’t we get ice cream?” you suggested to your boyfriend while he sat on the couch.

he looked down at you, you were on the floor desperately trying to cool yourself down. he smiled, “bet the ice cream shop has working air conditioning system.”

so you and him got dressed and headed down to your favorite ice cream shop. the cute bell above you rang as jungkook opened the door, signalling the workers that someone had entered. jungkook asked you what you wanted and then told you to get a booth. you found one in the corner and sat down, pulling out your phone. not even seconds later, a girl sat down directly in front of you. “hey, cutie.”

you stared at her, “um, miss-”

“jimin. i saw you walk in and i just had to talk to you. can i have your number? i would love to see you again.” man this girl talks fast.

before you could reply, jungkook appeared, two bowls of ice cream in his hands. “you cannot have my girlfriend’s number. can you please leave us alone now?” jungkook glared at the girl, annoyed that she even made a move on you in the first place.

your eyes widened at how straightforward jungkook was, normally he was much more sweeter or at least polite. but no, he must have been really annoyed or...jealous...

380 notes · View notes

bazypitchandsimonsnow · 6 years

Text

Into the Woods

Rating: T

Genre: Fluff

Word count: 6246

Summary: Simon is so done with his roommate's shit. Little does he know he's about to find out why Baz is being weird. Based on "Baz is a secret theatre nerd with glasses and a man bun” request.

Read on AO3

AN: I'm alive! And exhausted because work is a nightmare. Seriously, having a full time job sucks ass. But, WAYWARD SON!!!! I'M SO EXCITED!!!!! Excited and scared, but mostly excited. 2020 can't come soon enough holy shit. Anywho, hope you enjoy this little romp :D

——————————————-

Simon

“What the fuck happened to you?”

I glare at Penny as best as I can with my tired eyes. “What the fuck do you think?”

“He was pacing in your bathroom?”

I sink into the uncomfortable lecture hall bench with a sigh. “Yes, came back late then kept me up until midnight, muttering and humming to himself, again. What the fuck is he doing that requires so much talking and movement. And why does it have to be in the fucking bathroom?!”

Penny shrugs, something usually only I do. “I don’t know, Si.”

“I bet he’s summoning the Devil.”

“Simon, for the last time, he’s an arsehole, not an evil wizard.”

“You don’t have to live with him.”

Penelope sighs and keeps typing on her laptop. I assume my occasional lecture position of arms on desk and head pillowed on arms. One advantage of uni is that professors don’t give a single shit if you sleep through their classes. I know I’m probably wasting my education, but I need sleep. Because of fucking Baz.

“Good morning, Snow.” Ugh, I hate his smooth, perfect voice. I grunt in reply. “Still not a fan of speaking, hm?”

“Fuck off, Baz,” I grumble, “it’s your fault I’m like this.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he says, completely calm as usual.

I growl, because I hate words enough when I’m awake. And I refuse to use them with him.

He doesn’t answer, the bastard, just walks off. I watch from just over my arm as he sits a few rows in front. He’s easy to spot, what with the tight green t-shirt and stupid man bun. Well, it’s not totally stupid on him. Somehow everything looks good on him. He could wear a garbage bag and still look great. Stupid good looking arsehole.

I doze on and off through the whole psych lecture. It’s not that interesting anyway. And when I wake up, Baz is right in my line of vision, and I keep looking at him. How he re-adjusts his hair every once in awhile. How he spins a pencil between his long fingers. How he lifts his glasses up and down as he looks at the screen then takes notes. Why does he have to be such a good upstanding student and make the rest of us look bad? It’s so bloody infuriating.

I breathe a sigh of relief when the lecture is over. I’m done classes, but Baz has another lecture. I can go back to my room and get a good rest.

“Hey, Si,” Penelope says as I’m gathering my things. “Still wanna study for that English exam together?”

Shit, I promised her we’d study yesterday. Guess my nap will have to wait. “Yeah sure, Pen. Not sure how much help I’ll be. I’m not exactly good at English.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll whip you into shape.” She grabs my arm, and I willingly go.

“Yeah, sure, that’s possible,” I chuckle. We head out the door, but I sneak a look behind me. Baz is talking to a group of people. Huh, that’s weird. Baz and I have been roommates for over a year, and I’ve only ever seen him hang with the same two guys, a freckled redhead and his cousin (I think.) Those two are both standing there now, but for some reason there are a bunch of other people standing around too. Who have big smiles and even bigger gestures. Does Baz have friends now? Huh, he has been out more often. Guess they don’t mind that he’s an annoyingly smart arsehole, or that he looks better than all of them.

“C’mon, Si!”

Penny tugs harder, and I rip my gaze away from Baz. I’ll think about him later.

———————————————-

The only good thing about the student centre is that the chairs are comfy. I’m pretty sure the university invested all their furniture budget into cushy armchairs. I’m certainly not complaining. Especially today, when I could sink into the comfy leather forever.

“And what were the main themes of Fahrenheit 451?” Penny asks.

“Uhhh...” I don’t open my eyes. They feel too heavy. “Books are better than people?”

“I would personally yes, but our prof would disagree. Try again.”

“Blargh.”

“Blargh?” she chuckles. “Simon, are you making up words again?”

“Yes,” I grunt, “because I’m frustrated and tired and probably going to fail all my exams.”

Penny sighs, long and heavy. “You’re not going to fail.”

“You say that because you’re trying to make me feel better because you love me,” I spit out before thinking. I’m tired and have less of a filter than usual.

She scoffs, but in an endearing way. I’m not sure how she does that. “Yes, I love you, Simon, which means I’d never lie to you. You. Are. Not. Going. To. Fail.”

I sigh, because I know she’s right. Penny actually, really believes in me. I’m glad to have her in my life. “Thanks, Pen.”

“You’re welcome. Now, just tell me one theme, please?”

I tilt my head back over the chair, closing my eyes as I try to remember what our monotone prof said. “Uh, censorship?”

“Yes! See? I told you you’d get it.”

“Thank you, Penny,” I murmur, then curl into the armchair. “Now I’m going to sleep for a thousand years.”

Penny sighs exasperatedly, but it’s still loving. “Very well. Want a mint aero bar from the vending machine?”

“Mm, yes please.” I rummage around for my wallet in my back pocket, and pull out (what I hope is) a five pound note. Penny snatches it. I hope she gives me the change.

As I’m sinking into the comfy chair, finally relaxing after hours of discomfort, something gets dropped on my head. I frown and pick up the chocolate bar. I hear Penny sit in the opposite chair.

“Hey,” she says through a mouthful of candy, “look at this.”

“Don’t wanna,” I grumble.

“Simon, open your bloody eyes.”

“Ugh, fine.” I blink my eyes open. Penny is holding a big poster. It’s covered in trees and says "Into the Woods" in fancy letters. Then it lists the school theatre and dates next week. Wait... “Pen, did you steal that off the student events board?!”

“Not important. But look! This is an awesome musical, and the drama club is doing it soon. Maybe we could go see it.”

I twist my lips together. “Hm, I don’t know...”

“C’mon, Si, we’ve both been stressed out. We need to do something fun.”

“And musical theatre performed by probably off key uni students is fun?”

She gives me a deadpan look. “Do we have enough money to do anything better?”

I let out a long sigh. “No, we don’t.”

“Exactly. Now, wanna go see some shitty musical theatre?”

I twist my lips again, fiddling with my chocolate wrapper. “I’ll think about it, Pen. I need to study more if I’m going to pass psych.”

Penelope nods in acknowledgement. “Okay, I get it. The show is next week so we’ve still got time. Now,” she flips her binder open again, “tell me the role of Clarisse in regards to Guy’s character development.”

“Ugh,” I groan, “gimme a minute.”

I put Into the Woods in the back of my mind, and once again try to remember what the fuck our professor said. It’s an annoyingly difficult task.

———————————————-

When I get back to my dorm, Baz isn’t there, again. Man, he’s really been out a lot lately. More than before.

Last year, when he wasn’t in class, he was always in the room. Either reading on his bed or working at his desk. I tried to avoid him as much as possible, because everytime I disturbed him he would glare or make some passive aggressive sarcastic comment. It became clear he didn’t like my presence. So I learned to stay out of his way, but I guess that hasn’t really been a problem lately. And...it’s weird. It’s weird him not being here.

I take a long shower, revelling in the fact that Baz won’t bang on the door and demand I not use all the hot water. After, I curl up in bed, Netflix blaring in my headphones. It’s what I need to wind down after studying. Eventually, I let myself drift off to the sounds of Brooklyn 99.

But I’m woken up again when the door swings open. I grunt but don’t open my eyes. I just listen as Baz softly shuts it, pads around the room, then enters the bathroom. Ugh, fucking hell. He’s pacing and muttering and humming again, and even though he’s quiet, it’s annoying as fuck. I turn up my volume but it’s no use. Just knowing he’s there keeps me up. His presence just overwhelms my brain all the time.

When his footsteps get louder, I know he’s back in the main room. I pull off my headphones and glare at his back.

“Can you not?” I growl.

Baz freezes, head snapping up and shoulders tensing. Guess he thought I was asleep. “Can you be more specific?”

“It’s fucking great that you’re out having fun with your friends, but your late night entrances and obsessive pacing is keeping me up. Some of us aren’t vampires and can’t stay up all night.”

“Sorry my schedule is inconvenient for you, Snow.” His voice is so neutral I can’t tell if he’s mocking me or not.

"Oh fuck off, you prick."

"Incredibly creative insults there."

Ugh, he's so quick tongued. I can't fight him usually, and certainly not when I'm so tired. I opt for grunting and rolling over. Baz quickly goes back into the bathroom to change. (Prudish prick won’t change in front of me.) God, I’m so exhausted. Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally too. Maybe I do need a break. Something fun...

I grab my phone from where it’s sitting on the floor and send a quick text.

Simon: heyyyy y’know i think i’m down for the musical i do need a break

Penny’s reply is instantaneous. (She was probably browsing Tumblr late at night again.)

Penny: Awesome! I’ll get us tickets for the last show on Friday.

Simon: sweet :) gonna go to bed night pen

Penny: Night, Si.

I power down the phone and restart Netflix again. Baz is already in bed, his black hair fanned out against the white pillowcase. Yeah, I need a distraction. Anything to keep me from thinking about school and exhaustion. As well as the stupid, annoyingly pretty guy sleeping no more than three metres away from me.

———————————————-

“What took you so long?!”

I ran up to Penny panting, completely doubled over. Christ, my lungs are fucking burning. “Sorry...couldn’t find...phone...bus...was late...so so sorry.”

“It’s fine, Si, let’s just get in there. Curtain is in three minutes.”

She takes my sleeve and drags me inside. She’s stomping, so I know she’s really pissed. I move to hold her hand tightly, squeezing it. “I’m really sorry, Pen.”

Penny keeps stomping, but sighs and squeezes back. “I know. Let’s just get in there.”

I let out a small sigh, because I know we’re still okay.

We rush into the theatre, jittering at the ticket booth and snatching up programs as we run past the poor student volunteer. Penny quickly finds us two seats in a not that shitty place. Surprisingly, the theatre is quite packed. Huh. I wouldn’t expect this many people for a student production.

“We made it,” Penny sighs.

“Yeah,” I reply. “So much for stress free evening.”

She chuckles, almost sardonically. “Yeah, unfortunately agreed. Now shush, curtain’s coming up.”

The whole theatre gets dark, and orchestra music swells. I lean back in my chair. The curtain rises to reveal (what I think at least) is a minimal set with people on it. A few tree silhouettes in the back, a raised platform, a fake fireplace, fake counter, and a fake cow next to a stool. Everything is just so fake. Penny said I had to “suspend my disbelief”. It’s hard to pretend with such little there. This is why I like TV and movies.

All the people on stage are wearing sort of fairy tale clothes. They start singing about what they wish for. To go to a party, for a cow to have milk, and to have a baby. Christ, is this whole thing just about people wanting things? Musicals are fucking weird.

I sort of half zone out, picking up on bits and pieces of the show and dozing off. Baz has been coming back later and later all week and waking me up each time he opens the door. The theatre is dark, so it’s hard to stay awake. I fall asleep at the scene with Rapunzel and the witch, but start to stir again when Jack’s mom throws the magic beans on the ground (ha, idiot.) But since this play jumps around more than a rabbit on a sugar rush, suddenly the Baker’s Wife is walking around in the woods with the cow as Cinderella runs past. She’s running from the ball again and hides behind the Wife. A trumpet goes off as someone gallops ridiculously on stage-

Wait, is that...

“Baz!?”

Three people shush me, but I ignore them, because Baz fucking Pitch is on stage right now, hamming it up with everyone else. He’s wearing a silly outfit that reminds me of a Disney prince, with a white jacket and a red sashs and gloves. His hair is slicked back with gel, emphasizing his stark widow’s peak more than usual. He’s not wearing his glasses either. Huh. I’ve never seen him without them. He looks...good. Well, he looks good with them too, but this is just a different sort of good.

I don’t pay attention to the scene, not even listening to what they’re saying. I’m just focusing on Baz and his amazingly ridiculous appearance. Oh my god he looks so stupid, trotting his feet and flicking his hands like he’s holding reins. When he’s offstage I lean over to Penny, who’s jaw is also on the ground.

“What the hell is Baz doing here?!” I whisper.

“I...have no idea,” she replies very hushed. It’s the first time I’ve heard her admit she doesn’t know something.

The play continues, but I’m paying attention even less. I just keep waiting for Baz to show up again. I’m so jittery. My leg is shaking at lightspeed. Penny kicks my foot in an attempt to stop me but it doesn’t help. The only thing that makes it stop is seeing Baz gallop ridiculously on stage, along with Rapunzel’s Prince.

“Ah, there you are, good brother. Father and I had wondered where you had gone,” he says to Baz.

“I have been looking all night for her,” Baz replies. His voice is like it always is, smooth and commanding. Like he was born to tell people what to do. Usually I find it annoying, but right now it works. He is supposed to be a prince.

The two princes commiserate over their mutual impossible loves. They're both idiots.

“Rapunzel, Rapunzel! What kind of name is that? You jest! I have never heard of such a thing,” Baz laughs out.

Rapunzel’s Prince snorts. “I speak the truth. She is as true as your maiden. A maiden running from a prince? None would run from us.”

“Yet,” Baz sighs, “she has.”

Then he starts singing, and my brain short circuits.

Holy shit. Baz is singing. And he’s singing well. His voice is a solid, smooth baritone. It reverberates through the theatre perfectly. I’m totally transfixed. Since when could Baz sing so incredibly?!

“Agony!” He belts. “Beyond power of speech. When the one thing you want, is the only thing out of your reach.”

Holy. Shit.

I don’t realise how much I’m gaping until Penny pushes up my hanging lower jaw back up. The whole song is quite ridiculous, and Baz sings it perfectly. He looks properly agonized through it. I didn’t know he could be so expressive. He’s, just, amazing.

The songs ends, and Baz exits. I don’t pay attention, what with my mind still spinning. So, Baz, my arsehole geeky roommate, can act, and sing, and looks weirdly amazing in a stupid prince costume. Okay, that’s a lot of new info to process.

Before I know it, the lights come back on, and Penny is tugging on my sleeve.

“Simon?”

I look up at her bewildered. “What?”

“C’mon, get up, I want to stretch my legs, and we can get some snacks. I bet you’re hungry.”

“Oh, uh, yeah, that’d be great.”

I follow behind her with my hands in my hoodie pockets. While Penny goes to the snack bar, I sit on a bench. Something stabs me in my pocket. I pull out the crumpled program. Wait, Penny mentioned this week the actors have bios in the program. I furiously flip through it.

I find Baz’s picture almost immediately. It’s black and white and a bit blurry but I can still make out his face. He looks normal in it. Tight shirt, glasses falling down his nose, hair tied up. But here, he's smiling slightly. Wow, I’ve never seen him look anything other than bored or annoyed. It’s weird, but also nice. I look down at the bio.

Baz Grimm-Pitch - Cinderella’s Prince A witty English literature major with a salt and vinegar crisp addiction plays Cinderella’s arrogant love. In his spare time, Baz plays the violin, studies the development of the English language, and competes in a recreational football league. “Into the Woods” is his first dramatic production.

I chuckle under my breath. Baz really is such a nerd. Even though I already know most of this, it’s kinda...cute? I’m not sure if that’s the right word but it feels right. The little blurb is just makes him sound so adorable. I can almost forget he’s an arsehole.

“Si, you want a cookie?”

I snap my head up to glare at a smirking Penny. She waves the chocolate chip cookie tauntingly. I snatch it from her hand, making sure to glare at her while I take a huge bite. She sits down next to me and looks over at the program.

“Huh,” she says, “at least they got a good photo of Basilton.”

“Yeah,” I reply quietly. “Still can’t believe he’s in this.”

“Me neither. I thought he was just a quiet academic like me.”

“Same, but...he’s actually really good.”

“I hate to give him a victory, but yeah, he is. He’ll probably be good in the second act too.”

I whip my head around to her, eyes wide. “Second act?! I thought the story was wrapped up!”

Penny shakes her head, swishing her curls. “Nope. There’s another part. It’s just as long.”

I look at my phone clock. “We’ve already been here for an hour and a half!”

She takes a bite of her cookie and smiles around the mouthful. “Yup. Welcome to musical theatre, Si.”

I groan and slump forward. The program is still in my hand, and still on Baz’s picture. Well...if Baz has got more songs, maybe I won’t mind staying.

———————————————-

So the second act, from what I can tell, pretty much destroys all the happy endings of the first act. Wow, okay, that’s not depressing at all. Everybody either gets squished by a giant or just generally fucks up. What a pleasant play.

Baz comes back on a few times. First, he and the other prince sing another version of the previous song. It’s the same tune and the same idea, but they’re singing about different impossible women. I chuckle. So Baz’s character is a total bastard. Kind of makes him seem like less of an arsehole by comparison.

Later, as everything in the story continues to fall apart, Baz runs into the Baker’s Wife. After one short conservation, the lights go pink, and the music gets slow. Baz starts approaching her with a smirk.

“Anything can happen in the woods,” he sings. “May I kiss you?”

My eyes pop out. Well, that’s forward. Far more forward than Baz probably really is. I know it’s just the play, but Baz looks so strong and handsome, that I believe him. And, is it wrong that I sort of wish it was real? That Baz would actually be that well, sexy? God, did I just call Baz sexy?!

Baz does kiss her, and it’s so intense that I blush. The Wife walks away from him, but he grabs her again and twirls her into his arms. Together, they glide across the wooden stage, occasionally kissing more. He spins her in and out, leading her around, all while singing a sleezy but beautiful song to seduce her.

“Foolishness can happen in the woods,” he croons. “Once again, please...let your hesitations be hushed. Any moment, big or small, is a moment after all. Seize the moment, skies may fall any moment.”

They kiss again, and I can’t believe how passionate it is. How passionate Baz is. It’s strange and wonderful to watch. All too soon, the Wife is pulling away and the kiss ends. But my brain is still swirling while Baz sings again.

“Right and wrong don't matter in the woods, only feelings. Let us meet the moment unblushed. Life is often so unpleasant. You must know that, as a peasant. Best to take a moment present. As a present, for the moment.”

With Baz’s last line, they walk off stage. I’m still blushing, and very confused by my own feelings.

Soon enough, the play ends. Baz’s character leaves Cinderella and marries Sleeping Beauty. (Wow, what a bastard.) But after all that misery, everyone atill alive is alright, I guess. The actors line up and bow. Everyone starts applauding. Oh shit. I quickly join. All the cast members smile brightly as they bow. And when Baz steps up, he’s no exception. Christ, he actually looks amazing when he smiles. It fits his face far better than a scowl or a thin flat line.

I’ve been learning a lot of new things about Baz tonight.

The cast leaves and the curtain falls. Lights turn back on. People start shuffling out. I’m still a bit dumbfounded to move though. I just saw Baz in a musical, where he sang and danced and kissed perfectly. He was fucking incredible. And I should let him know.

As we’re walking out the door, I turn to one of the ticket takers. “Hey, where are the actors coming out?”

“They should be in the alley to the left soon.”

“Awesome, thanks.”

On the sidewalk, I tug on Penny’s hand. “You can head home, Pen. I’m gonna stick around for a bit.”

Penny gives me a curious look, but just shrugs. “Alright then. See you, Si.”

“See you.”

She saunters off with a spring in her step. I watch her, wondering if I should run after and not do this. But I stay still. Fuck, what am I doing?

The actors trickle out one by one. I notice Baz’s friend and his cousin, but they run off before I can ask them where Baz is. The crowd thins until I’m the only one left, standing there like an idiot. Maybe I missed him. Maybe I should just go-

“Blasted dead mobile,” a familiar voice grumbles.

My head snaps up just in time to see Baz stop in his tracks. He looks like a deer in the headlights, grey eyes wide behind his spectacles. He’s back to his usual style of t-shirt and glasses and manbun. Back to the Baz I know. His mouth hangs open in complete and utter shock.

“Hey,” I say as casually as possible.

“Snow,” he replies shakily, a slight redness appearing on his cheeks. “What are you doing here?”

"I, just saw the show. The one you were in. Obviously. And I just wanted to find you and say you're uh, you were really good."

He visibly gulps, fiddling with his knapsack strap. “Thank you. I...didn’t realise you were a musical theatre fan.”

I chuckle and rub the back of my neck. “I’m not, not really. Penny convinced me to come. I didn’t expect to see you here either. Especially on stage. How the Hell did that happen?”

Baz sighs with both exasperation and what seems like a little happiness, maybe. “Well, if you must know, my cousin was the one who originally decided to audition and I helped him with his lines. I said he was shite, and he bet me I couldn’t audition better. I’m very competitive, so I made a real effort to do well. Then I got in. I was going to turn it down, but Dev convinced me to try. It’s been, weirdly fun. I like performing. And I made new friends. Turns out there’s more to life than studying.”

“Huh,” I chuckle, “that’s pretty neat. So all that pacing and humming in the washroom was you rehearsing your lines?”

“Oh, yeah. I didn’t want you to know because it felt embarrassing. Sorry about that.”

I blink rapidly. Holy shit, I’m legitimately in shock. Baz Pitch just apologized to me. Wow. Tonight has been bizzare. “I-It’s okay. I get it now. Honestly, I just thought you were keeping me up on purpose because you hate me.” I try to laugh that last part off with a nervous chuckle.

Baz looks at the ground, shuffling his feet. I’ve seen Baz cold before, detached and pulled in and what not. But this is different. He looks...nervous. When he speaks, his words are shaky and quiet. “I don’t, you know. Hate you. I never have.”

My world tilts sideways. I nearly stumble backwards from the shock of his words. I look for any sign of deceit and find none. All I see is the anxious sort-of-teenager confessing something apparently really hard to say.

“Oh,” I stutter out. “You...you don’t?”

“No,” he says. “I just, I make arsehole comments when I’m nervous. Especially to those who...make me nervous.”

Huh? What the hell does he mean? “I, make you nervous?”

“Yes. You have almost since we met.”

I’m still confused. I take a moment to study Baz. His pulled in body language, his knapsack fiddling, his downcast eyes, his increasingly obvious blush-

Oh. Oh.

“Oh,” I squeak. Baz sighs in an annoyed way. That probably wasn’t the response he wanted.

“Yeah,“ he grumbles. “Oh.”

Crap I don’t know what to say. I end up blurting out the first thing that comes to my dumb head. “So is that stereotype about guys in theatre being gay true?”

Baz head lifts up to better glare at me. His eyes are like stormy grey daggers. “No, obviously not. It’s a stereotype for a reason.”

Shit shit, I’m so bad at this. I run a hand through my tangled hair. “Right, right, sorry. I make dumb comments when I’m nervous.” I sigh and look right at him, eyes fixed despite my fear. “I guess what I’m trying to ask to in my stupid way is, are you gay? Just, want to make sure I'm not misinterpreting. I do that a lot.”

Baz’s face softens. No more steely glare, just neutral, save for his slightly pulled in lips. “Yes,” he says like he has to force the words out. “Yes, I am.” He gulps, fiddling with his strap like mad. “Are you?”

I shrug, because truthfully the only honest gesture. “Sorta, I guess. At least part of me must be, considering how much I like looking at you.”

He inhales sharply, and the blush starts creeping down his long neck. “Oh. That’s...not something I was aware of.”

“Honestly?” I chuckle, pulling at my hair again. “Me neither. I mean, I’m always looking at you, but I never thought about why too much. It wasn’t until the show that I realised how much I like to stare at you. Um, sorry if that’s creepy.”

“No,” he replies very quickly. “no, it’s uh, it’s actually fine.”

He’s blushing very hard. Shit, am I blushing too? It certainly feels like it. “Oh. Okay.”

We look at each other in silence for a long moment. I’m not sure what to say, and obviously neither does he. We’re just two idiots standing on a driveway. I feel my stomach rumble. Oh man, I’m a hungry idiot.

“So,” I say, rocking on my heels, “do you have anywhere to be?”

Baz shakes his head. “No, not really. I’m supposed to go to the wrap party but fuck that. I was just going to go home to the dorm.”

“Well, in that case, uh, you wanna go get something to eat? There’s a 24 hour diner near our dorm building.”

He looks at me curiously, studying me like a specimen. “Are you asking me as your roommate, a fan of my performance, or...something else?”

I chew my bottom lip. Cautiously, I step forward and and brush my fingers on the back of his hand. He doesn’t pull away, so I hold it loosely. “Something else, preferably.”

Baz looks at me with wide, open eyes, filled to the brim with worry. “Snow, you do remember that we're roommates, right? If whatever, this is doesn't work out, we're still going to have to live with each other for months. That would not be pleasant. And hell, Snow, you barely know me, really. Is this really worth the risk?”

My grip on his hand tightens. He still doesn’t pull away. “Y-Yeah, of course I know this could all blow up in our faces. But, Baz, I really want to try. Like, you currently occupy like 90% of my thoughts. And sure most of them were negative, because I thought were a prick.” He frowns at that. It’s actually adorable. “But now, I’d really like to find out what you’re like when you’re not a prick. So I think it’s worth the risk.” I take a deep breath, making sure to look at Baz right in the eye. “Do you?”

I can see the gears turning in his big head. I’ve seen it a hundred times in class when we have to solve a problem. It’s even more fascinating up close. How his lips shift, his eyes darting back in forth. He doesn’t let go of my hand the whole time though. I catch the moment his face relaxes though, when he makes his decision.

“Yes,” he says quietly, “I think it’s worth the risk too.”

We both grin at the same time. Fuck I never knew before tonight that seeing his smile could make me so happy. I think I want to see it a lot more.

“Well, c’mon then.” I tug on his arm, and we start walking. “I’m hungry.”

“When are you not hungry, Snow?”

I scoff. “I thought you were only a prick when you were nervous.”

“I’m about to go on a date with my roommate who I’ve been hopelessly pining after for over a year. So excuse me, but I’m very nervous.”

Wow, my whole face must look like a tomato right now. Looking over, I see that Baz is in the exact same state. Either this is going to be incredible or a complete disaster. I’m seriously hoping for the first one.

“Don’t be,” I say as kindly as I can, “it’s just a date. We’ll see how this goes and go with it, alright?”

Half his mouth pulls up in a lazy smile. I like him relaxed like this. “Okay. I can live with that.”

I grin. I can’t stop grinning tonight. “Awesome. Now, important first date question.” He looks at me curiously and somewhat afraid. “Where the hell did you learn to sing so well?”

Baz lets out a breathy laugh. “Playing the violin all your life gives you surprisingly good pitch. It only took a few sessions with the pianist to get the songs okay. Not that they were easy. Apparently Sondheim is never easy.”

“That’s amazing.” He examines me for any sign of mocking, but he won’t find anything. I genuinely thinks it’s really cool.

“Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.”

“Could I get a repeat performance?”

“No.” I pout as much as I can, bottom lip pushed very far out. Baz stays strong for a few more seconds, then sighs. “Maybe some other time.”

I smile again. “Awesome. Next question, what was it like getting into those tight prince pants?”

“I am not dignifying that question with an answer.”

“Oh c’mon! I’m just wondering.”

“And wondering you shall stay.”

I make a “pbblt” sound with my lips. “Fine, spoilsport. How about you tell me what the production was like? Penny says plays are all drama behind the scene too.”

“Fucking hell it was a nightmare! Dev, Niall, the Witch, and Cinderella were great, but generally actors are self absorbed idiots. First day, Rapunzel came in hungover and spilled her entire coffee on my shirt. Baker's wife was the the world's worst diva. And don’t get me started on the Wolf. He tried to bang every girl in the cast, and a couple of the guys too.”

He goes on like that as we walk down the dimly lit street hand in hand. I interject a bit of commentary here and there, but I just let him talk. He’s fun to listen to. I like his sarcastic, sharp humour. Especially when it’s not directed at me.

I think I like him. A lot.

———————————————-

“No no, I’m serious!” I say far too loud, considering the time and that we’re walking down the hall of our dorm building. “Jamie is gonna kill Cersei. It’s inevitable.”

“He’s already left King’s Landing though,” Baz replies cooly.

“Yeah, but he can come back.”

“I suppose. But I think he’s going to be too busy with the White Walkers to deal with his crazy twin sister.”

“Good point. Maybe it’ll be the finale, when Dany finally storms King’s Landing.”

“Ugh, she needs to do that already. It’s been eight seasons!”

“They’re keeping us in suspense.”

I groan and lean back against the dorm room door. “I know. It’s fucking torture.” I sigh looking at the brown piece of wood. It feels so massive right now. “So, we’re here.”

“I noticed.” Baz stands in front of me, with only a few feet between us.

“First date protocol says I’m supposed to walk you to the door. But we’ve got the same door, so...”

“Yes, I’m not quite sure what to do either.”

We stare at each other. I study his face, like I have been doing all night. I spent most of our meal staring at him as he talked. I can finally admit to myself that I like to do that, and now I can also say I like his laugh, his smile, and the way he talks about his passions. I just keep seeing him in a new light. Everything feels different and new and scary. I love it.

“So,” I say quietly, “did you have fun?”

Baz smiles softly. “Yes, I did.”

“Would you, be persuaded to do this again?

“Is that your way of asking me out for a second date, Snow?”

I shrug up to my pink tinged ears. “Yeah, I guess it is.”

“Then yes. I would like to do this again.”

I nod rapidly, far too nervous for my own good. “Okay, cool, awesome, sounds good. Do we...just go to bed now?”

Baz shrugs slightly. “I suppose so.”

We immediately go back to staring. But my gaze drifts downwards, to his thin lips that are currently pressed together. I still remember that stage kiss. I know that was all fake, but I wonder what the real thing would be like that. I wonder if that passion translate to real life. To me.

“Simon...” Baz whispers. He’s somehow gotten closer. And my breath hitches, because he’s looking at my mouth too.

Fuck it.

I grab the front of his shirt and kiss him hard.

Baz gasps against my mouth, but very quickly sinks into it. His lips slide with mine perfectly. He presses one hand to my neck and buries the other in my hair. I groan and slide mine across his back. Christ, he’s so fucking fit. I want to tear his shirt off and feel all these muscles directly on my finger.

“Kissing on the first date, Snow?” Baz whispers playfully in one of the few moments we aren’t liplocked. “Scandalous.”

“Oh, fuck you,” I grumble, holding his hips tighter.

After a few more kisses, he pulls away with a small grin. My knees buckle at the devilish glint in his grey eyes. He looks just as sexy as he did on stage. “Well,” he drawls, “if you insist.”

For the second time tonight, my brain completely short circuits.

This is so new and scary, yet, I’m so fucking excited. I suppose it’s going to be an adventure. Into the unknown. Into the woods, I suppose.

I kiss him again, clenching my fist in his hair so hard his man bun falls apart, curtaining our faces in black strands. He pushes a hand under my shirt to feel up my stomach. I fumble with the keycard and get the blasted door open, then pull Baz in by the back of his neck. The door closes, and the rest of the night is a blissful whirlwind.

Hooray for musical theatre.

———————————————- AN: "Blargh" is copyright Theo the Fanfic Writer and anyone who steals it will be sued. /s ;)

So yeah, musicals! "Into the Woods" is my favourite musical of all time and I think Baz would be a perfect Cinderella's Prince. Also I've always thought Baz would be an incredible singer. Simon would be floored lol. Sorry if this is a little rough tbh. Hard to describe someone watching a musical haha. I struggled writing it but, I had fun in the end. I love writing Simon the Oblivious Pining Idiot. Requests are still open and I will get to them between being dead from work. Hope you enjoyed this :)

#carry on #snowbaz #simon snow #baz pitch #penelope bunce #musical #fluff #into the woods #making out #mysnowbazfic #long post

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thebeauregardbros · 6 years

Text

character development meme???

we can call it that i guess alus~

[blank template here]

- Basic Information -

-How old are they? Do they look their age?

Since he is an orphan, it is unknown. By estimate by both his appearance and how small he was when he was adopted, he is thought to around 22~24 years old.

-What is their gender identity? (optional: what is their physical sex?)

Male for both. He’s confident enough in his identity that he’ll happily wear dresses and high heels and flaunt his feminine interests openly, but feels uncomfortable if people actually believe him to be female, or try to project an image onto him as being frail or fragile - mostly because it’s just not true.

-What is their race? Do they follow in the footsteps of their ancestry with respect? Do they even care about it at all?

Alus is a Miqo’te of what appears to be sunseeker descent, but he really could care less about his blood lineage. He respectfully thinks of himself as an Elezen because that’s who raised him. He doesn’t know much about his real lineage at all and he’s pretty at peace with that.

-How do they make money? (What’s their occupation?)

Two thirds military duty, one third cafe ownership. He also gambles a bit on the side (generally successfully) to the point that he has regularly owns a bit of an excess of coin. He tends to spend that excess rather quickly though as he has a tendency to be rather generous with tipping and giving beggars charity... and well, really loves clothes and stuff to spruce up his cafe with.

- Speech Patterns -

-How do they generally speak about themselves or refer to themselves in conversation?

Alus surprisingly actually doesn’t talk about himself often despite acting rather narcissistic, albeit in an exaggerated and goofy way that others could perceive as self-aware. If he does gives information about himself it tends to be rather surface area information about his cafe or fashion tastes. You may actually find him talking about his brother more than himself! To people he’s comfortable with, he might allow them to explore philosophical questions with him that trouble him, exposing a more serious side of his that may seem uncharacteristic to others.

-How do they tend to address others? Family, friends, coworkers, strangers, enemies, etc.

To those he admires (usually fancy ladies and elegant male elezen), he is a complete mess of stammering and gibberish. If he somehow manages to speak clearly, he compliments; and oft times those may be perceived as a bit ‘too much’; confessing his love for others he’s only just met (though he usually means it platonically), praising the little he knows about them endlessly and inadvertently derailing any preexisting situation/conversation.

To those he feels more lukewarm towards, he just tends to be very polite and open minded even at the most outrageous and criminal things he hears, and willing to repay their words with deep personal thoughts of his own - always overall positive.

To those he considers enemies, (or more specifically those who he considers an immediate threat to the safety of others,) he’ll become self-righteous and very quickly impatient towards them. He’ll start off questioning your uncouth behaviour, wondering if it’s possible he’s just misinterpreting it - then he will patiently remind you that that is not gentlemanly/lady-like behaviour. Then he’ll start becoming passive-aggressive as all hell - still with a polite smile on his face, but eyebrows furrowing more and more. The second you hear him audibly say an actual swear word at a normal speaking volume is when you should be terrified. Shortly after his formal speech and eerie smile may actually continue, but he will speak bluntly of his feelings. Something along the line of “If it were not for my worth as a gentleman, I would have happily smashed your face in by this time.” If someone isn’t literally holding him back by shortly after then, he will act out in violence to forcefully stop your behaviour. Don’t worry though, he won’t kill you or otherwise permanently injure you if he can help it, and afterwords he will actually willfully forgive you -- that is, only if you act like a proper gentleman/lady like he’s been imploring you to be this entire godsdamned time.

To his brother, it’s a combo of the latter two; He is very openly critical of his bad behaviors, but also very supportive and admiring of him. If Alus hears of anyone badmouthing his brother, he will be there in full fledged defense and won’t back down until he implores them to either change their mind or generally stop being so negative. Because they are brothers, however, Alus may not talk about his personal feelings much with him much (he feels a bit awkward being mushy with him), but he still trusts him more than anyone.

-Do they have any strong opinions about certain groups? Political, religious, independent or otherwise, even very small.

Alus tends to dislike all politics. Even politics that seem to have wholly good intentions, he is extremely wary of them turning out wrong in the end - he’s seen betrayal and deceit happen far too many times to still be optimistic in such matters. He views more organized religions to be not too different than politics, particularly the church that worships Halone - a deity he finds no comfort in her representation of War. He finds himself picking and choosing what he believes in now more than he used to - he thinks of religion as a very personal thing and doesn’t care much for hearing others’ opinions on his favorite deities beyond those he can trust in his view to be good people.

- Personal History -

-How skilled are they in combat?

Alus’ greatest weaponized combat skill is in using a large shield to bash, overwhelm, and pacify. Though he has learned some basic one-handed sword skills for his qualification as a Free Paladin, if he had to choose to fight, his preferred offensive style it would be that of the fists. He believes that it is the most honorable way to fight somebody if at all - oftentimes risking his own hands in doing so. As of this time he knows a lot of mixed martial arts but hasn’t landed on one certain style of fighting to dedicate himself to. (At some point I’m gonna IC try to find someone who’ll teach him Brazilian capoeira. not even sure how the heck that’d fit into Hydaelyn lore??? help) Alus is also grand at the swift skills of dancing - he is surprisingly light on his feet and very deft, making dodging and fancy footwork in battle a piece of cake for him.

For non-physical skills, Alus is a skilled field medic above all else. He is knowledgeable of a wide variety of herbs and potions, well experienced in conjury and even versed in some obscure Sharlayan astrology that heals - he’s tried his best to become attuned with anything that has to do with healing he can find. He wants to save everybody. He does not believe in fighting at all, despite it being a job he begrudgingly takes.

-Any non-combative skills?

Having grown up on the street & the road, Alus became a skilled street dancer with his brother when they were young for the purpose for some extra pocket money. As they grew older, Alus’ passion for dancing never really wavered. His favorite type of dancing is ballroom dancing, but he hardly ever has the chance to dance with a partner.

Alus knows how to brew tea pretty well. Not an expert, but knows more than most people. He can cook a little too! .. mostly just pastries and stovetop breakfasts, though.

He knows when to stop when it comes to gambling.

Can play the piano! Nothing expert or incredible, but good enough for the simple soft songs he adores.

-Anything they’re really bad at?

He can’t sing, good lord, he cannot sing. He’s absolutely tone deaf, and he screeches at random?? it’s so bad. (secretly he’s amazing at screamo, and he’ll probably never discover this)

Sex jokes go MILES over his head. Actually, a lot of common informal speech stuff goes over his head. He’s absolutely the type of guy to answer without hesitation “What is updog?”

Oh yeah, he’s also really bad at solving even simple mysteries. His imagination tends to be too overblown and romantic that he keeps thinking ‘It can’t be that simple or mundane!’

spEAKING TO PRETTY PEOPL E

-What would you call their personal aesthetic to be like?

Fashion wise I’d call it ‘shiro aristocrat’. White clothes with a very classy and royal, princely feeling, but more mature than ‘ouji’ Japanese fashions (pressed long slacks instead of poofy shorts). He adores flower motifs, and wears as many live and fake flowers at all times as he can manage (especially gardenia and white lilies). He adores suits, the ‘gentlemanly’ aesthetic, and .. Well, hell, he’s basically a shoujo prince. He’s got a white horse and long blonde hair and everything. He knows this and adores it. His style is overall masculine and suave but also soft and feminine. He loves bright happy colors and white, he feels they bring good feelings into the hearts of people who see them.

-What kinds of cuisine do they like and dislike?

His favorite food is La Noscean Toast, his favorite morning drink is Triple Cream Coffee, and his favorite dessert is... constantly changing! (his ‘dessert snack’ choice is an orange lmao)

He’s got a raging sweet tooth he has to keep under lock and bar - a huge passion for fluffy pastries and citrus-y candy. (Not so much for dark, heavy, bitter chocolate!)

Alus is a bit of a picky eater on his own! He tends to generally dislike any heavy meals (for example; deep-fried and/or heavily cheesy stuff OH THE HUMANITY). He’s slow to try foreign foods or new food in general (tho he does love rice) - I feel like he’s the type of guy who organizes a menu that’s well balanced for health and sticks to it his whole life whether he particularly liked how bland it tasted at first or not. He doesn’t eat meat so he balances his protein intake with tons vegetarian alternatives of of nuts, yogurt, eggs, tofu, seeds, etc.

If you cook him a meat dish, he’ll go to insane lengths to make sure it’s not wasted - looking for the nearest homeless person, anyone, to enjoy the meal. Besides meat dishes, he’ll absolutely eat anything you prepare for him though because he’s far too polite to tell you you wasted all that energy for such a nice gift for him! Always the optimist, he’ll probably try to convince himself by muttering “this is probably good for me in... some way..” lmao

-What about alcohol?

He’s fiercely against alcohol - really wants nothing to do with it, thinks it’s the poisoning of the body and super unclassy for your image and harmful to your spiritual growth and blah blah blah .. But he has absolutely drank a spiked punch on accident on more than a few times. The only way to make Alus consume alcohol is if it’s sweet enough that he can’t tell it’s alcohol. While intoxicated, Alus becomes much more like his brother - blunt, straightforward with his feelings, using informal speech, even saying some straight-up swear words without hesitation - but he’s also very confident and happy in the sort of ‘playful-fighting frat bro that loves you’ sort of way. During and after intoxication, he refuses to vocally admit he was/is under the influence of alcohol. It seems like he genuinely doesn’t know/remember it, but it could be that he was/is just embarrassed.

-When it comes to love and romance…

Alus is wholly inexperienced, doesn’t really understand the difference between platonic and romantic love. He believes in his heart that everyone is a good person, and in that, he universally loves and appreciates everyone in their own way and will say this out loud bluntly & relentlessly. He’s very ‘innocent & pure’ in the sense that he doesn’t even really think about kissing someone’s lips until he’s made the decision to someday marry them (which he would most likely do without knowing them too well!). When it comes to physical flirting, Alus’ brain just kinda breaks. He’s totally confused and shocked at himself for thinking of such sinful thoughts!.. when all he’s really thinking about his touching their hand or something LMAO. Overall, he really just over-romanticizes close relationships in a manner of good old fashioned lovely gentleman & lady courting, and doesn’t dare think of anything further without a straightforward consent from his partner.

-How do they feel about sex?

I should disclaim that despite Alus’ views on romantic relationships, he’s is definitely not too innocent to know how people do it, and it’s not like he’s thought about doing it himself, but his general feelings towards the subject is “don’t ask, don’t tell” and “it’s none of my business or concern!” For other parties’ sexuality, he doesn’t really approve of revealing clothing or outwardly sexual behaviour in public, but as long as it’s in the name of love and respect (whether for yourself or with someone you care for) he still supports it wholeheartedly - but will probably just try change the subject anyway. For himself, he feels really uncomfortable with anyone making physical contact with him or seeing him underneath his clothes, whether the context is casual or flirtatious. When dealing with someone he likes but whom he isn’t in an official relationship with, his brain just 404s in embarrassment when it comes to sexual stuff and he doesn’t really know what to do. Giving straightforward consent to him, however, and I feel like he’ll be a lot more forward in touching you than you’d expect. He’ll always be respectful though and stop when you tell him to.

THAT BEING SAID as a writer I actually regard Alus as asexual. I think he regards sex as an act of the symbolism of love more than an act of pleasure. He’s never really been told about asexuality before and even if he was it’d probably take him more experience to fully realize for certain he’s ace.

- Personality -

-Come up with three key words to describe this character.

Gentleman, goofy, heartache.

#meme #alus beauregard #WELCOME TO MY RAMBLING HELL #TOOK ME LIKE A WEEK ... I LEGIT TRIED TO MAKE IT SHORT WHY AM I LIKE THIS #HHHGJDHKSFJ

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phantomauthor · 7 years

Text

hoo boy here goes

cw: abuse mentions

Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

nnnnope! no siblings and no close family outside his immediate family

What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

as a child it was really rocky, as his father wasn’t. the Greatest and she took her frustrations out on him in the form of verbal abuse. after he had gone to live in america for a year and came back, she had gotten better and their relationship started to get better. currently it’s still not great as you can’t really, grow past abuse, but, it’s better than before. he relies on her and loves her still but there’s always that feeling of hurt.

What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

not. good. his father was extremely abusive to both him and his mom, physically, verbally, emotionally, etc. after moving to america and living with just his dad for a year, it stayed almost the same and turned jamie around completely from how he was before. so his dad is not, exactly on great terms with him

Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

the....fourth or fifth murder in the game is what really got to him i think. from a “eh this will be over with soon” to just “oh. this is serious.” kind of mood and it does Not make him feel good. he tries to keep this under covers since he does have an image to maintain, but who knows if others have picked up on this.

On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

his phone, a pack of cigarettes, and a lighter. if he’s going out to the store you’ll find a wallet in there with his money and school id and whatever ids else you can find there.

Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

not really? he tends to have those kind of weird dreams where everything is a wild ride though

Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

a lot of them have to do with being unseen unless he does something extravagant. as of late he’s been having many dreams of him in other people’s bodies finding himself/his mom/candy dead, and not caring about it.

Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

nope!

Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

nope! he’s always been pretty well off, around the upper middle class.

Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

more clothing.

In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

he’s had, several near death situations in a variety of ways. bad abuse from partners, accidents, depression, and the killing game. outside of death he doesn’t really have any fears, so any time he feels like he’s about to it scares him to near death (lol).

In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

he’s EXTREMELY calm around candy, the calmest i think would have to be when he could just, lay with her and sleep next to her.

Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

heck no he loves blood and gore

Does your character remember names or faces easier?

he remembers faces easier! names he tends to forget

Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

not..exactly? he grew up well off so he hasn’t had any hardships but he also wasn’t super rich and doesn’t exactly have interests so it’s not too hard to avoid that.

Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

happiness

What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

i like to think he had cat stuffed animal that he carried around

Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

wisdom. he’s a sapiosexual

What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

platonic relationships, he doesn’t know how to exactly, talk to people. he’s never really had friends and his one friend he made on complete accident (invited her to live with him on accident, she took it up, they grew close and suddenly were friends), so he doesn’t know WHAT to do to be appealing to speak to. candy is generally okay with this as she’s not great with it either and their relationship was built on trust and compassion more than speaking. romantic relationships he can’t stay loyal as he gets bored extremely easily. it’s really hard to get to what actually keeps him interested in someone and this. ruins a lot of relationships and causes rumors quite often

In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

in a way, he tends to think of himself as a different category than everyone he meets, putting himself apart from them. it’s more of a isolation tactic than anything, but can be considered self-validation. he has been catching himself criticizing himself lately when comparing himself though as time goes on in this situation.

If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

he does blame himself for what happens, fully believing he may have done something in this life or a past life to cause bad things to happen to him.

What does your character like in other people?

well, wisdom is one. but he likes how people think, and you’ll often catch him analyzing others actions to see how they think. he likes people who are more critical of what they’re doing and can admit to their faults with ease. though, he also does like to see stubborn people when he knows they’re in the right. he also tends to gravitate more towards people he finds to be similar to him

What does your character dislike in other people?

he DOES NOT LIKE people who are too sure of themselves, too full of themselves, or both. negative people he tends to avoid as well. he’s not really judgy outside of that tbh.

How quick is your character to trust someone else?

he’s a generally trusting person tbh. unless someone gives him reason to distrust right off the bat he’ll probably hold some trust in them.

How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

even the smallest of relations to something can cause suspicion in him, ofc there’s exceptions (i.e. michiko during genta’s murder) but he’s not easily trusting in that. it changes slightly if he’s close but he does like to stay true to how he normally puts himself out as.

How does your character behave around children?

he’s pretty good around children tbh he’s a dad character

How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

on a bad day, badly, maybe even taking it near to a physical fight. he’s not exactly good at controlling himself if he’s upset. though on a good day, he’ll just go along with whatever he’s being confronted for, apologize or w/e, and go on with his day.

How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

like i stated before, on a bad day it is a very quick reaction to start violence but he holds himself back as much as he can

What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

he never had something he wanted to be, it wasn’t ever something he thought of. tbh he still doesn’t know what he wants to be or do, he’s just...living.

What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

abuse, violence, arrogant people

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

sitting at home on the couch in the living room, the tv is on as candy plays one of her exploration games (or s/t like bloodborne, i’m sure that’s a game he’d enjoy watching) as the two of them talk casually about their days or their plans for the next day.

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

i feel gross thinking about it and it’s not even that bad i’d rather not. just gonna say it’s gotta do with his, promiscuity

In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

he’s just. okay with it? maybe a lil defensive but for the most part he’s just like aight cool. he might be willing to improve

Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

immediately move on to a different solution/method

How does your character behave around people they like?

he’s pretty friendly and likes to joke around! really chill and touchy feely. he also feels more comfortable being silent but around them

How does your character behave around people they dislike?

he’s. super passive aggressive. constantly watching the other person in case of attack and to try and find out what’s going on in their mind- especially if he knows they also don’t like him.

Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

protecting his status definitely. he’s kind of proud of it and it’s all he has so. he’s got to.

Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

remove a problem/threat. he’s not afraid to get into shit even if it’ll likely hurt or even kill him. it’s just what’s best in his mind. removing himself won’t stop it.

Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

knowing his stupid child ass yeah, probably. he was, probably not super happy about it and as a kid he was a lot more ruthless and his response was not. good

How does your character treat people in service jobs?

he’s very polite and tries to help them out in any way he can, he’s not one to be rude to people helping him.

Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

a little bit of both. he thinks he deserves it because of the hardships in his life, but at the same time he doesn’t? and believes everything happens for a reason and he needs to do something good to get something good.

Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

...candy in a way? the two of them are parental figures to one another in the way that they take care of each other and care for each other.

Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

again, candy.

How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

it’s...pretty difficult to say it and have him actually mean it. only two people in his life have actually gotten a sincere “i love you” from him and that’s candy and his mom. he says it without meaning it to people literally all the time as it gets him what he wants in relationships

What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

he believes in both reincarnation and also the concept of heaven/hell. he would like to believe he’ll reincarnate, and if not at least get into heaven but knows deep down that he. probably will go to hell.

#ooc #HOO BOY #jam man infodump

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evenstevensranked · 7 years

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#43: Season 2, Episode 10 - “Devil Mountain”

Ren’s Life Science class goes on a field trip to observe some birds. Yay? Drama ensues on the trip when we find out that Mandy “Always-Gets-Her-Man” Sanchez has a crush on Bobby Deaver. Yikes!!! Elsewhere, Tom gets a personal pizza oven in his room, which is the only reason Louis and Twitty are bothering to hang out at his house. Basically, Louis is a horrible friend to Tom until the last 5 minutes. WHYYY?!

This episode opens with Ren and Bobby doing homework at The Stevens house. They’re always so incredibly awkward. Like I’ve said before… Bobby Deaver is kind of weird. I don’t get the appeal. He seems very aloof and spineless to me. They’re about to kiss when Steve comes waltzing in on the phone.. which is highly uncomfortable. He becomes a nervous wreck and ends the phone call by saying “Okay I’ll kiss you tomo— SEE YOU tomorrow!” Oh, man.

We find out that he was on the phone with their teacher, Ms. Lovelson. They’re in the same bird watching group and Steve is going to be guest-lecturing their Life Science class. I’m suuure that will be an embarrassment free experience for Ren! (Sarcasm.) Steve basically does everything in his power to keep Ren and Bobby from kissing now. He interrupts them constantly, makes them snacks, and sits riiiiight in the middle of them while telling boring stories. He starts to give Bobby the third degree asking him all sorts of personal questions. There’s a bit where it cuts to a black and white interrogation sequence parody. I always thought this was pretty funny.

“FOR THE LAST TIME, DEAVER! GIVE ME THE INFORMATION!”

“Alright… I have a sister… *cries*”

Now, on to the subplot! Tom got a new (giant) personal pizza oven in his room per Doris’ recommendation. Yes, Doris! This is the first time Tom ever speaks of his mom. Louis is confused and asks, “…Doris?” and Tom explains “Mother. She’s worried I don’t socialize enough with kids my own age. Which is nonsense” while simultaneously playing online chess. It’s pretty great.

“AH-HA! Trying to take my bishop! I know you too well, Mr. Smarty Trousers...” - Tom is a GIFT and the whole reason this episode isn’t ranked lower.

In hindsight, I really feel like this show gave kids very unrealistic life expectations at times. Apparently I can bring a butler to school with me, and I can make my principal quit their job and turn school into one big party. There’s no way my mom would allow me to have a freaking PIZZA OVEN in my room. First of all… why would you want to eat pizza in your bedroom anyway? Crumbs. Ew. This is the episode that made me assume that Tom is rich. We get to see his room though, which is cool! Much like Twitty’s, I feel like they got the characterization correct here as well. I seriously love that they actually put work into stuff like that. All of the rooms we’ve seen so far highlight the character’s personality without hitting you over the head with their interests. For example, this made me realize that Lizzie McGuire barely tried sometimes. Gordo was very into film, directing, and old records. So guess what they plastered on his wall?! It feels very contrived:

In contrast.. here’s Tom’s! Very neat. Nerdy paraphernalia on his shelves. Something that looks like a pin-up model poster right above his head. Why does that seem extremely accurate to me?

Everything’s chill and then… *dun, dun, dun* The pizza oven breaks. There’s a tiny detail that I love here. Louis dramatically touches inside of the pizza oven and quickly bounces back all shocked when he feels that it’s cold. It’s just really funny to me. But, yeah. The pizza oven is dead. And ya know what that means!!! ...Louis and Twitty suddenly don’t care about spending time with Tom. Ugh. They immediately peace out and Tom is left all depressed and alone. Wow.

The next day at school, Louis is trying to tell a joke to some kids at lunch when Tom comes over all excited with good news (presumably about the pizza oven.) He keeps interrupting Louis by adding funny remarks that ultimately just annoy everyone around him. I feel so bad. The bell rings before Louis is able to say the punchline. So what does Louis do?! He starts yelling at Tom. “What’s so important?! This better be good news about the pizza oven, because right now I’m in no mood.” SERIOUSLY LOUIS?! Well, Tom catches on and can clearly tell they’re just using him. So, he goes and does what I’d do: He lies and says the oven will be broken indefinitely.

Ren and Nelson are waiting for Steve to show up for their Life Science class. (Btw: Every time I hear “Life Science” all I can think of is LIFE SCIENCE EXTREME from Ned’s Declassified, where they took baby dolls and strapped them to rockets.) Ren insists that it won’t be too embarrassing, because Steve “happens to be one of the area's foremost authorities on the Dickcissel" — with extra emphasis on “dick.” The innuendos are too much this season. Nelson laughs.

Just then, Ruby comes rushing over to run her latest gossip column by Ren. It’s here that we find out the oh so devastating Junior High news that Mandy Sanchez has a crush on Bobby Deaver. It’s kind of ridiculous because she says “I’m really sorry, Ren! Should I kill the story?!” as if it’s a serious piece of journalism. Like, do schools even allow gossip columns like that?! I’d be absolutely mortified if “Brittany Butler has a crush on ____” was written up for the entire school to read without my permission. Mandy is super preppy, fake and snobby. She’s played by Bianca Lopez who funnily enough plays another preppy, fake and snobby character in The Princess Diaries named Fontana! A member of Mandy Moore’s popular crew of cheerleaders.

Here she is making heart eyes at Bobby...

...and there she is on the left making fun of Mia. She literally plays the EXACT same character here with the same condescending, high pitched voice and everything.

Anyway, Steve ends up being thoroughly embarrassing. Who would’ve guessed?! We get a montage displaying just how embarrassing. It starts off with him making the class pronounce “Bird” slowly, as if it’s an entry level English as a second language class. Lord help me. The montage ends with him emotionally saying “And there he was… A Yellow-Bellied Sap Sucker… actually sucking sap.” Yep. The Yellow-Bellied Sap Sucker. Disney's favorite bird. I’ll never forget the time they mentioned it on Lizzie McGuire, as well.

Steve invites everyone to go on a field trip to Devil Mountain to observe the migration of… some bird, idk. It’s not important. When he asks who wants to join him, Bobby is the first one to raise his hand with genuine excitement. (I told you he’s weird.) So naturally Mandy, Ren, Ruby and Nelson decide to go, too. This should be interesting.

While walking home, Louis and Twitty pass by Tom’s house and notice him sitting outside chowin’ down on some cheesy pizza. And we get this incredible exchange:

Twitty: “Hey, Gribalski! Thought you said your oven was gonna be busted for a year!” Tom: “Oops!! Guess I made a boo-boo!” Louis: “Is that any way to treat your friends, man?!” Tom: “This hot, delicious pizza is for people that care about me — and not for two faced pizza pigs like you! NOW GET OFF MY PROPERTY!”

I love Tom so much. He proceeds to sassily whip some crust at them before running into his house with a mouth full of pizza. I honestly think Tom is my second favorite character after Louis.

After coming home from food shopping, Eileen notices that Louis sneakily rang up $150 worth of frozen pizza. Wow, what a great kid he is in this episode! Needless to say, Eileen ain’t happy. He says “Look, I’m on a 4-slice-a-day habit okay? So, let’s preheat the oven to 450 and discuss this in a calm and reasonable manner” which is actually a pretty good line, lol.

The next day on the hiking trip, Steve has the kids break off into pairs to explore. He ends up pairing Bobby and Mandy together, and pairs himself with Ren. Of course. Ren and Mandy end up being extremely passive aggressive to each other and are low-key fighting over Bobby right in front of him. (See cover image of the post) Bobby clearly notices and just… walks away. This is what I mean about him being spineless. He just blows with the wind.

While paired off with Steve, Ren spends her time spying on Mandy and Bobby with her binoculars. This clearly isn’t a healthy relationship, lol. Then again, what Junior High “relationships” are?! Deep down, Ren obviously must not trust Bobby. I mean, I’d be pretty angry at Mandy’s flirty behavior too. But it takes two to tango!! Bobby’s just going along with it. Again, spineless.

Ren and Steve have a falling out when she yells that she’d rather be with her “BOYFRIEND instead of up here watching stupid birds with you!!!” The Stevens kids are not their best this week, lol. When storming off, Ren unknowingly heads down the “Devil’s Backside: DANGER!” trail. (Also, “Devil’s Backside”??? Wow.) While wandering around lost, Ren almost falls to her death in the most hilarious way:

She’s clearly just standing on one leg and flailing her arms around in front of a green screen. Amazing.

She lands holding onto a brittle branch. Even though she could very well die at any moment.. she still whips out those binoculars again to spy on Bobby and Mandy. Priorities.

The branch breaks and she falls even further. Thankfully, Steve finds her. They have a heart-to-heart and make up. So, that’s nice. This plot ends with Steve separating Bobby and Mandy on the ride home so Ren and Bobby can be together. Bobby claims he missed Ren all day and felt like Mandy was crowding him. Okay. Sure. I don’t trust this guy either. But, yeah. That’s it for that.

Louis calls Twitty and Tawny in for an emergency meeting to brainstorm how to get revenge on Tom. Tawny isn’t impressed and heads straight for the door. Same. She asks them if they even know anything about Tom or care about him. Like the fact that he’s currently representing LJH in their regional chess meet. Obviously, they didn’t know because they’re awful friends. They seem remorseful, but then Louis gives us this gem of a line:

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It’s incredibly funny out of context, but in context it’s just extremely immature and flippant. Tawny says “Louis, no one can disappoint me quite like you can” and leaves, which marks the turning point for Louis here. That’s one thing I really like about this episode. It took Tawny’s disapproval for him to realize how terrible he was being. It just goes to show how much he cares about her and values her opinion.

Cut to Tom’s chess meet. Louis and Twitty show up and turn it into some lively, obnoxious sports event. Complete with painted chests and D-Fence signs. I’m sure this would never fly irl, but it’s a really nice gesture in the Even Stevens-verse. They cheer Tom on the entire time, until he eventually wins! Yay! He gets a great final line, too. When asked the classic “You’ve just won… What are you gonna do now?!” question, where an athlete would typically reply “I’M GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!!!” Tom says, “I’m gonna go get my windbreaker.” I love this. I have said this before and people literally looked at me like ???

One other great thing about this scene is in the final moments of the meet. Louis is sitting with Tawny anxiously awaiting the outcome… and she just glances at him — proud of his decision to be a good friend in the end. They’re so cute.

The end!!

In conclusion, Tom is most definitely the greatest thing about this episode. Since he’s a supporting character, I thought I’d rank this one a little higher than I might’ve otherwise because he deserves the love!

I adore the ending with Louis showing up and being supportive of Tom, and that little look from Tawny. It almost makes up for Louis being generally awful the entire time. The Ren/Bobby/Mandy love triangle isn’t totally bad, though! I live for petty teen drama, tbh.

If you’ve been quietly checking out the blog, I encourage you to chime in via Disqus below if ya like!!

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johnnygma · 7 years

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Unpopular Opinion: I don't like La La Land

Okay, before we start let me say a few things: this is just my opinion, film is art and as we know art is subjective; if you like this film that’s great and I definitely don’t want to spoil it for you. Also, I don’t hate musicals, in fact some of my earliest and fondest memories of the theatre have been musicals. And lastly, I don’t necessarily dislike this film just because everyone else seems to love it. There have been high rated films before I was first sceptic about but did like in the end (e.g. The Theory of Everything). Okay, so let’s get going about what I liked (yes of course there are also good things) and didn’t like.

What I liked about La La Land:

- The colours are amazing! The colours are bright and glowing and just overall very nicely arranged and combined. Both the sets and the costumes go together very well and you probably will find yourself thinking more than once “yeah, that looks really nice.”

- The costumes are pretty. Again, the colour scheme here is great and almost anything that is worn in this film is some sort of eye catcher or looks at least quite decent.

- This whole old school 50s vibe is a nice touch. It has this sort of nostalgia of classic (musical) films and gives the story an overall pleasant look and feeling that also fits the music.

- The cinematography and the way it’s filmed. The film knows how to present its aesthetics and its music. The editing and the transitions run smoothly and you don’t get this feeling of “okay, that was weird…”

- Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling do a decent job with the material they were given. Their dancing looks rather neat and there singing is not necessarily perfect but it doesn’t have to be, it fits the film quite well actually.

- The music and dancing was good. Not “wow!” but it was at least something you could watch and move your feet to. So, it could’ve been worse.

- The ending is nicely done and at least against this cliché happy ending.

Things I disliked about La La Land:

- The story is flat and almost nothing happens! If after 45 minutes I start checking my watch every ten minutes to see how long it’s already been: that’s not a good sign. Aspiring artists fall in love, break apart because of their different successes and meet again years later. It’s nothing new and they also don’t really add anything to make it seem new or more interesting.

- There are only two characters and both of them aren’t that interesting. I get that the story is about Mia and Seb, but couldn’t there have been at least one proper side character to have some more and different interaction? The characters of Mia and Seb are also nothing new in the world of film and, to me, there was nothing memorable about them. I found myself rooting for neither of them and honestly didn’t care if Mia was gonna get the role or not.

- The whole relationship felt forced and weird to me. Yeah, I get that this is a love story but at least show me how and why the characters fall for each other. The two meet, he’s rude. They meet again months later at a party, not really knowing each other and have a kind of sarcastic, slightly passive-aggressive conversation. They go home and dance on a hill and bum! they are in love. Like, what?! Then the whole “she doesn’t like jazz thing”. That was fine until they of course have to write that he shows her how great the music actually is and what she’s missing and that she eventually comes to like the music. That would have made a nice contrast, why could she simply not dislike jazz? And then they break up for, to me, very stupid reasons. Every relationship has its ups and downs, but they never really talk about things or apologise or message each other when things are about to go differently. So of course they have to break up! No!

- The music is okay but not “wow!”. It’s entertaining and yeah I tapped to the beat now and then but there was nothing memorable about the music. The only song that kinda stuck out to me was the concert song and even of that I couldn’t recall the melody right now. There isn’t this typical one song of a musical everyone keeps in mind and has heard of. The music is good, but not special.

- The lack of diversity which also goes hand in hand with the no-secondary-characters-thing. Sure, the very first song of the film is basically a boom of ethnic diversity and we see (apart from our two main characters of course) only black people in the jazz clubs. It’s like they thought that with that first song they could cover diversity for the whole film and then forget about it. I also find it a little weird that we have only black people in the jazz scenes as if no one else enjoys that music. And for the huge amount of black people we see in the jazz scene, there’s only one of them who gets focus for like five minutes (the music group guy) and then he’s somehow badly connotated. Some people also said that the film is racist because a white man safes the music of the black community (“white saviour” discussion). I wouldn’t necessarily agree with that though I have to say that something still felt off to me, though I can’t quite pinpoint it. Also, not to necessarily go with the stereotypes, but a musical film in 2016 and there’s not one queer character? Come on!

- The song the girls sing when they’re getting ready for the party is somehow very cringy to me and just weird and uncomfortable. For once, just once, when a character says “I’d rather stay home tonight, I don’t feel great” can friends please understand that instead of forcing them to go? And of course Mia turns around in the end and gets fancy to get to a party she doesn’t even really enjoy that much in the end. (Only to meet Sebastian)

Okay, so those are my main issues I have with La La Land. It’s not necessarily a bad film but to me it would definitely not deserve the Oscar for Best Picture. An Oscar worthy film has to be more than just look pretty and have some fancy music. Visually the film definitely deserves praise, no doubt about that and the costumes are gorgeous as well. But for me the pretty looks don’t make up for a boring story, flat characters and an overall mainstream appealing romance film. Like I said, if you liked this film that’s great. This is just my opinion on a film that I think is worth checking out but unworthy of all the fuss and Oscar praise.

#la la land #unpopular opinion #my opinion #this is just my opinion #oscars #oscars 2017 #academy awards #academy awards 2017 #film #movie #review #film review #movie review #overhyped?#What's all the fuss about?

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voguingtodanzig · 7 years

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EXPLODED VIEW FEAST ON DISCOMFORT AND GROUND CHICK PEAS (10 months ago on Clyrvnt)

By Raymond Cummings

What a difference a half-decade makes. Working in concert with Bristol-based BEAK>, Annika “Anika” Henderson cut Anika, her 2010 debut album — a skeletal, singsong-y satchel of covers and originals — in a mere 12 days. The LP felt equally alien, familiar and out of time, a scuffed reinterpretation of numbers by Bob Dylan, Yoko Ono and Lynn Ripley. Stiff and stark and somewhat Nico-esque, Henderson’s vocals leaped out from the production’s knotted beats, guitars and synthesizers like a sigul in a black and white Magic Eye image.

Four years later, the U.K.-born, Berlin-based musician would spend weeks recording what would become a very different album in Mexico City with a new group of collaborators. A year later, they’d realize that they had something special on their hands, and a year after that, they’re ready to unveil it. “Gothic” might be the right watchword for Exploded View’s eponymous first album, though it’s home to a broad spectrum of darknesses: the muted, gorgeous “One Too Many”; mesmerizing drone-poem “Lark Descending”; the trundling, bleary bleep-sweep of “No More Parties in the Attic.” On “Disco Glove,” the quartet locks into an industrial, No Wave groove that suggests a badly wired, breakdancing robot; “Orlando” rides thermal, ascending / descending scales and shredded drums into a quasi-New Wave blaze of glory. And at the center of it all is Henderson, her vocals increasingly incisive, malleable and emotive — reminiscent, at moments, of Natalie Merchant in 10,000 Maniacs’ earliest days — and her sentiments insistently, painfully personal in almost political ways.

A few weeks prior to the release of Exploded View, we interviewed the band via Skype; early in the day they’d performed at the Green Man Festival in Wales, and we spoke just before they took the stage at the Exchange in Bristol, U.K.

How did Exploded View become a band? Martin Thulin (drums/guitar/production): We’re actually on our way to becoming a band, you know? Because this actually started as a job, with us rehearsing for Anika’s gig in Mexico City in 2014. It happened very naturally, with us trying to recreate what we played together. Annika “Anika” Henderson (vocals/synthesizer): Yeah! I like that; it’s true.

Exploded View has a monolithic sound that's multifaceted — sort of industrial, sort of organic, a melodic gloom but with a lot of colors. I’m aware that improvisation was key here, but this album was recorded straight to tape and has a very defined musical point of view. Was there a particular vibe that you were trying to capture? MT: No, not really; I think it just happened. We just started playing, and I think everyone was doing their part. [Exploded View] is what came out. AH: Yeah, there was definitely no aim. We were never intending on releasing anything; it was just jamming for the sake of jamming, playing for the sake of playing. Hugo Quezada (bass/synthesizer/production): The intention was to adjust to the technical limitations we had — like not using more than eight channels.

In the lyrics, there are a lot of elements at play — politics, sociology, personality, relationship dynamics — and an intimate darkness that suits the music. But overall there is an encouraging self-awareness, pushing listeners to take stock in themselves. There’s pessimism, but also encouragement. What inspired this album? AH: A lot of unresolved personal issues and anxieties. The band brought me to this place and helped me work through it — it was a very personal, intimate thing in that I wouldn’t have shared my deepest, darkest secrets with just anyone. Because it was the band, I was somehow able to do it. Some of the songs brought out certain things that I’d been struggling with for years. So, it definitely wasn’t a contrived album; it wasn’t trying to be political, but these were things that were on my mind and came out with the music. I didn’t want to edit things. Hugo and Martin, when they were editing this stuff, they weren’t editing [words], but just cutting out sections of what we recorded. Some of this stuff, I felt like it was a bit too personal, a bit too close to home — and they were like, “Come on, come on, just leave it in!” It’s very rare that I feel that comfortable, that I’m able to write that freely. I wrote everything on the spot. I’m never aware of what I’m writing when I’m writing it; if I ever am, then it’s wrong.

Annika, you were previously a political journalist. Do you view music as another form of reporting? AH: No, not really. I feel like it’s more of an artistic relationship with the world. It’s not just a reflection, but it’s a reflection through your eyes. Good, honest journalism should be impartial and it should be balanced, but as an artist you’re able to digest it and express it in a different way that’s more understandable for people. You’re not just directly putting across events that happened; you’re working through the emotions you feel when you see these events, and hopefully in doing that, you can help other people get some kind of release. Music can be for enjoyment, to help you get through a breakup, whatever. I think with this album, personally, I was working through a lot of stuff; hopefully it can help other people. It’s very different [from] journalism. I am politically engaged, though.

"Disco Glove" is my favorite song on the album: this mechanized, grinding, clanking beast. How did that one take shape? HQ: That song and “No More Parties In the Attic” were the first ones we actually recorded. We met at my place — I have a small, home studio in my house — and started fooling around with instruments. I just set up this really old sequencer, and we built things around that really fast, annoying click track. Amon Melgarejo (synthesizer/guitar): It was like this through the whole album; we were reacting to what was happening. This was one of the two most “bad vibes” songs on the album. AH: I found it quite painful to listen to! While we were recording, I hated it; that’s why I sound so stressed, kind of angry, passive-aggressive. MT: For me, on the drums, on that particular song, I had one reference; it’s a song by Second Wave called “Courts or War.” They used a drum machine; I tried to play on the live drums as if I were a drum machine.

For each of you, what is your favorite song on Exploded View, and why? HQ: I guess for me, my favorite one is “Stand Your Ground.” The day we recorded that song in particular, Annika was cooking some falafel. AH: [Laughs] Really? HQ: Yeah! I started playing some chords on the Mellotron, and then the bass for the whole song started coming. I remember very clearly that Annika came into the room with the falafel, and started singing this melody. It was a really beautiful moment, as friends and as musicians. AM: For me, it would be “Lost Illusions.” We were playing all day, and everything was shit, and we’d played and played, and nothing came. Hugo went to his guitar, his head against the wall and started playing that woooooo-woooo-wooomelody, and all of us joined in. And it was the first time I realized that we had something. I really love the whole structure of the song. MT: “No More Parties” is probably my favorite track, because that was not a track I was particularly keen on when we were mixing it. It was really frustrating to work with that song, because I thought the other songs were really easy to mix. We spent a long time on fixing the mix. When I listen back to it today, I can say that is my favorite track because it really worked out nicely; it’s nice when you have a song that you’re really frustrated with and you put in some effort to make it work. There are also a couple ballads, like “Lark Descending,” that I find extremely beautiful. The music works in a very pointed way with the lyrics; it’s like a painting. AH: I also quite like “Stand Your Ground” because it was really the core of my issues, in their most uncoded form. It was the unconscious completely laid out there, complete vulnerability in a way where I wasn’t hiding anything.

When and for how long a time was Exploded View recorded, and what was the process like? AH: It was at the end of 2014; I think I stayed a couple of weeks. MT: It’s set up in Hugo’s house, which is also his studio, and we were the producers — me and Hugo — so we had a lot of equipment there. Everything was centered around this tape recorder, an eight-track, which limited the whole thing because we were recorded everything live. You really had to think about what you were doing because you didn’t have 500 tracks to do whatever you wanted. When you work like that, you have to work with the limitations; I think that was really important. The fact that it was recorded in a house with a kitchen made it more like an everyday thing; it wasn’t like going to a studio.

So, in a way, there was more humanity to it. HQ: Yeah. AH: This was more of a friendship; it wasn’t just a recording session. That’s what made it so special. Personally, I’ve been working with people in Berlin for two years, and I never really got that environment of trust. There were these strange scenarios that were very forced, and [there was a lot of] talk about money and when everyone was getting paid for the session; it just became very uncomfortable. What was nice about this session is that no one wanted anything. MT: When we were recording, there was a lot of frustration going on within the session between the band; it’s really uncomfortable, not very nice sometimes, but it also makes it very special. I think that frustration is all over the record. Maybe now that we’re more comfortable with each other, that we’re friends, we don’t need to make another album the same way.

As a listener, I’ll say this is a strong, fantastic record. Even if it didn’t feel the best while recording it, everything came out great in the end. MT: To be honest, we left it to rot. [Laughter] For several months. AH: At least a year! MT: When we listened back, we thought, “Wow, this is interesting.” To be honest, I didn’t expect anything. When I started working with it, we had some really cool songs. I was amazed that it turned out more song-based than long jams; I thought we’d just had really boring jams. AH: It’s strange, because I really wasn’t comfortable with releasing it for a long time. It was only at the end of last year that we started talking about it again. I think sometimes when something is so close to home, it’s too personal; you don’t really like it. It’s only when you’re really through those traumas that you can see an album as something separate from yourself.

When you perform these songs now, are you taken back to what these sessions were like? Or is it completely different? HQ: We try to regain the structure of the songs, but not the feelings, because everything is totally different. I guess we’re reinterpreting the songs. AH: I don’t bring back that frustration because it’s not necessary. I’m through it, we’re over it, it’s not still there. We don’t need to relive that every time we play. MT: I’m now the drummer of the band; I’d never played drums ever in my life before this record. We’ve been switching roles. Maybe something that’s different, when we play live, is that for good or for bad — I don’t know — I’m actually becoming a better drummer. That could be good or it could be bad, because one thing about the record is that it’s extremely sloppy. Like amateurs. AH: But that’s cool — it’s post-punk. [Laughter]

Sacred Bones released Exploded View in early September.

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