arofluxstuff

[arofluxstuff]

Occasionally I kinda want to have a wedding

have a day where I get to dress fancy and have everyone I like around and they give me kitchen appliances and then I get to have a party afterward but everyone sorta expects me to leave first so i can just go when I'm done and everyone else will take care of clean up

Then I remember that having a wedding means you're married to someone and I just decide to have a graduation party when I finish college instead

[arofluxstuff]

having a crush should be in the dsm-5

[arofluxstuff]

You know... being in the grey spectrum of attraction, in my case both greyromantic & greysexual, can be very confusing and not bc you don't understand your feelings (which can happen but not in this case) but because everyone around you says you should be a- or allo- . "There's no in between." Which is completely illogical bc for years there's been people who don't fit one definition or the other, who are in that middle, almost but not. We exist for a reason 👏. Everything lies in a spectrum and attraction does too.

ACKNOWLEDGE GREYROMANTICS & GREYSEXUALS 💚💜

[arofluxstuff]

What is or isn't a slur can be highly contextual, y'all.

"Jonny Sims bummed a fag off my ma" doesn't contain a slur, but "What are you, some kind of fag?" does.

"Queer studies", "the queer community" and "I'm queer"? Not a slur. Some bigot calling you a "dirty queer"? Slur.

"Be gay, do crimes" and "He's gay" ≠ slur, but "Ew, that's so gay" = slur.

In conclusion, stop buying into this fucking "q slur" bullshit. Queer people talking about the queer community aren't using it as a slur any more than a gay man calling himself gay is using that term as a slur.

[arofluxstuff]

The thing that especially gets me about how much people want to say who can use what specific labels is the fact that...

There's probably a total two or three people I know who have anything like a full understanding of the ways I'm queer and what my labels mean to me

Everyone else gets a version of what I am that they'd be able to wrap their heads around without making me give an hour long lecture in an attempt to be understood

Because if I were to even Attempt to give the whole story I would say I'm a nonbinary genderfluid trans man who is asexual but sex neutral and aro-flux and biromantic when the wind is right

...

I mean come on, I couldn't explain even half of that to your average person and while the knowledge I could impart might be good for them I simply do not have the time or energy all the time

So typically to other accepting queer people I say oh I'm gender fluid, and demisexual

To people less versed in this stuff I say I'm a bisexual trans guy

To my parents I'm a bi-curious nonbinary person

To my grandmother I say I'm a lesbian

And to many outsiders I read as either a lesbian or fourteen year old boy depending on my clothes that day

And like... just because some of these aren't right doesn't mean I have to correct these perceptions.

My experience with gender and attraction and interpersonal relationships is simply above most people's knowledge level

And that's like? A Pretty average experience I think

Lots of people identify in some settings as something more likely to be understood or don't correct assumptions made about their identity for safety or convenience

And due to that you're going to have experiences related to how people view you as well as how you identify, we literally cannot presume to know what a person's life is like based on just the labels they use, especially the labels they use online because those may have no bearing on how they're treated day to day

And even Beyond all that, gender and sexuality are infinitely complicated concepts because no two people's experiences are gonna be completely alike. So like maybe if a queer person is using certain terms to describe themself that seem contradictory in some way we don't need to react with an assumption of ill intent

Cuz, y'know its complicated and not really everyone's business

#lgbtq #queer #transgender #gay #lesbian #bisexual #asexual #nonbinary

[arofluxstuff]

how about instead of endlessly defending the word “queerplatonic,” henceforth when an allo decides to start shitTM we respond by demanding they explain in detail what a “romantic relationship” is and then condescendingly ask them if they’ve ever heard of ““friends””

[arofluxstuff]

Aros with a complicated relationship to love are like. I love love. I hate love. I am ambivalent towards love. I am full of love. I am at war with love. I don’t love at all. There is joy in the word love. There is pain in the word love. I am reclaiming what love means to me. Love will never feel at home on my lips. What IS love? Baby don’t hurt me. Don’t hurt me. No more.

[arofluxstuff]

Do I have little romantic interest in Most people I meet because I'm arospec, yeah

However if anyone thinks that's going to stop me from being gay for every fictional character who smiles pretty your dead wrong

#arospec #this is about Guillermo de la Cruz #but really this applies to alot of instances where people side eye me for having a fictional crush

[arofluxstuff]

A polycule of aromantics, call that a quiver

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Arospecs whose arospec identities are influenced by negative experiences, trauma, disability, or neurodivergency are super valid and remarkably strong! I’m talking about acoromantics, caedromantics, requisromantics, adfecturomantics, arovagues, and nebularomantics!! To these arospecs, don’t let exclusionary and ableist people get you down. Your orientation is just as real and valid as anyone else’s, and you deserve to feel loved and accepted! You’re all such awesome people, and I wish you only the best things in this life!

[arofluxstuff]

in case anyone's worried, if i ever say anything romantic to you, it is meant platonically. i don't flirt. if i wanted to woo you, you would be wooed.

[arofluxstuff]

Oh of course, this really goes for everyone who isn't completely allo because we have all this brain space for humor that isn't being wasted on attraction

being ace is actually great considering we're naturally so much funnier than allo people 💕

[arofluxstuff]

being ace is actually great considering we're naturally so much funnier than allo people 💕

#asexual #aspec #its a joke guys #dont come for me im just joking

[arofluxstuff]

Some of y’all think that holding hands and sharing a bed is immediately romantic, and this is why people cannot differentiate between romantic, platonic, and familial forms of love.

[arofluxstuff]

I fucking hate it when you talk about how there’s a pressure for bisexuals to be monosexual and how bisexuals get their identity erased in a way that gay people just don’t and then gay people go along and go “why do you hate gay people? How dare you talk about struggles unique to bisexuals!”. Obviously #notallgays but some of you are really biphobic and can’t stand the idea of bisexuals discussing uniquely bisexual issues instead of pretending that we’re diet gays. The same thing applies when aros and aces talk about oppression unique to them and a bunch of obnoxious gay people get mad because “how dare you not make this about me and suggest that I have some privilege!”.

Like I’m not trying to say that bis, aros and aces are inherently more oppressed than gay people, gay people do have their own problems that are unique to them, what I’m saying is that we all experience different kinds of oppression and it’s important to recognise that instead of acting like it’s just gay vs straight and gays have all of the oppression and are therefore at the top of some sort of LGBT hierarchy and bis and aros/aces have only some of the oppression (or worse, that aces and aros have no oppression). 

[arofluxstuff]

Aroace People: I would like a life-partner to love and care for deeply even though I don’t experience attraction. I may or may not wish to live with them permanently, to legally marry them, to adopt a child with them, to put them in my will, to assume major debts like housing and education together, and to overall align our lives to one another so that they occupy a place in my life which no other person does. If I’m not romance/sex-repulsed and feel comfortable doing so, I may even engage in some romantic or sexual behaviors with them to fulfill their desires.

Random Allo Person:

[arofluxstuff]

Ace culture is rejecting the nuclear family before you even know why you feel that way, and aspiring toward the fantasy of living with your platonic friends your entire life, renting neighboring apartments, buying a house together, or being neighbors across the street in your 50s, going to the grocery store together with the same 4 other people til the day you die. Ace culture is thinking that sounds just dandy