baby-jackass

[baby-jackass]

I found freedom, losing all hope was freedom - Narrator.

Paul whimpers, curled at the bottom of the stairs, holding his stomach in pain, Dermotts boot slamming into the vulnerable area. Forcing a pained yell from Paul's mouth, quickly silenced by a hand slapping over his mouth.

"I told you to stay quiet! Useless! Do you want the police round again? Aye? Do ya!" Dermott hisses, smirking when the boy shook his head violently. Dermott pulls his hand away, tanking Paul up by his hair before pushing him at the stairs, "get lost now, I don't want to see you again today"

"y-yeah sorry" Paul responds, his voice hardly a whisper as he pulls himself up to his feet, biting his tongue harshly to avoid showing his pain. Moving towards up the stairs as quick as his body would allow him, getting to his room and shutting the door moving as slow as he could to ensure it wouldn't slam. Before falling against the door with a broken sob, hiding his face into his hands.

For years now, it was the same thing practically daily. It wasn't that Paul tried to be a bad kid, he just never seemed to be up to his uncles standard. When his mum died it was okay at the start, for the first year of living with his uncle there was patience. Until it stopped. But it's not like anyone noticed, so to Paul it was all the same.

So as Paul slowly drags himself up from the floor, moving himself Infront of his mirror, another whimper escapes from his lips as past and forming bruises are stretched out. But this time felt different. As he lifted up his shirt, to check out the new set of injuries, his face fell. The colour cinking away from his cheeks, eyes raking the massive red swelling that covered purple clouds of bruising. Not only did his skin feel on fire, but the shape of his ribs cage fell into a abnormal position after each breath, his right side slumping slightly. While not exactly an expert, Paul's be pretty used to getting beat to a pulp, and even he could tell you that this wasn't a good sign, mixed with what feels like ten pounds of pressure clamping down on his chest, there wasn't much other option to try and sleep it off.

Climbing into bed, agonising pain flushing through his side, Paul pulls the covers over his head. Pushing himself up against the wall, trying to stay as hidden as he could for the inevitable punching match he'd have to wake up. Seeking as much comfort as he could drag from the football patterned duvet. Before falling asleep, tears escaping and dampening the pillow below him.

Barely 12 hours later, and Paul's staggering into school, just in time for the first period after missing form. Every step, sending flashes of splitting pain along the upside of his body, blood pooling in his mouth as he hit his lip in a weak attempt to cover his sounds of agony. The students lurking in the corridors laugh and move out of his way, in an attempt to avoid him "what a weirdo, he looks like a zombie", "loser, Ew! Get away". Paul was beyond the point of caring, he just knew he needed to get through the day. Stumbling into the main corridor, his wobbly walking caused him to bounce on and off the wall as he moved further along. Keeping his arms wrapped tightly around his ribs, trying to protect himself from the crowd of fellow students.

Paul nearly fainted at the speed of his best friend running in his direction. CK, making a beeline for her mate.

"Paul, you look like death, go home dude", she says, Paul's short breath and grey coloured lip, looking for from normal

"I'm fine, go away yeah?", the teen mumbles, his words short and snappy. He just needs it to end, the conversation over. To skip through the day and get home.

"Paul... You look awful man, do you need the hospital?" CK asks, concerns filling her voice. Before frowning as Paul shakes his head and walks around a corner, straight into Rachel Mason.

"Paul, would you please be more car-", Rachel starts before seeing the teen fall to the floor with an anguished cry, curling by her feet. Finally cracked and unable to take the pain

"M-make it stop. I can't fix it, just want it to stop", Paul cries, his voice following a trembling line of broken sobs. His shirt had slid up during the fall and was exposing his mid section, a back littered with swollen dark belt line, scars dotted around in the shape of a buckle. His ribs were covered black bruising, the shape that his ribs fell making it well clear something was not right.

"Call an ambulance! Someone call a damn ambulance now!", Rachel yells, going down to her knees to comfort the boy. "Students, lessons now! Give us some space", she calls out loudly, doing her best to keep Paul's injuries hidden from sight, removing her blazer and laying it over him. Her stomach drops as she catches sight of the worst of his injuries, it was clear this hadn't been a one time event, if she had to guess, this was the result of years upon years of abuse.

"Oh Paul, it's alright. It's alright, we're gunna get you fixed and out there. I promise Paul", she says.

The next 24 hours became an emotional rollercoaster for Rachel. Using her headteacher status to make sure she never left Paul's side unless he was in surgery, a heart breaking diagnosis of a collapsed lung, broken ribs and fractured bones that never healed dotted around his body. Up to five years of horrific abuse which was never once flagged up, was revealed within two hours of being hospitalised. What felt like hundreds of calls between Police officers, social workers and the LEA, and there still wasn't a set answer on what was going to happen to the poor boy that lay on the hospital bed In front of her.

"Well, Paul. There isn't a placement yet, but we can assume you'll be placed in a group home, okay? I know it's a lot to process, you've been through a lot so you can just think for now", Rachel says softly, a calm tone to her voice, attempting to keep her emotions out of it and just assure the teen that he would be safe.

"You mean, I don't have to go back? Am I safe?", Paul questions, tears coming fresh to his eyes, rechecking the hotel room. His uncle wasn't there, was he actually free from this hell?

"Paul, I promise you, on everything I hold close to me. You will never be hurt like that again. Someone should have saved you years before, but I can promise you now you never need to be scared of your Uncle Dermott ever again" Rachel's promises, the maternal urges taking over and gently wiping his tears with a tissue.

There were a few awkward hours following that conversation. Discussions of the legal process, a lot of tears, a lot of relief and pain being spread around before there is a final visitor of the day. A middle aged man walking into the room, he was tall yet had a gentle appearance to him.

"Hi Paul, my name's Eddie, Eddie Lawson. I'm going to be your foster."

#paul langley #waterloo road #fanfic #rachel mason #eddie lawson #posted on ao3 #child abuse #violence

[baby-jackass]

Very short, slightly depressing drabble for 9-1-1 (I love this show with my entire heart)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

The walls collapse around the older man, thundering as they crush down around him, caging him down. Until the only proof of his previous stance was a bright yellow fire hat which rolled out from the exploding collection of dust and shrapnel.

"BOBBY!" Buck screeches, the deafening roar bursting from his throat, scraping the insides like one thousand daggers dragging along the delicate skin. Tearing his voice box inside out until only decibels of agony cling to the air like gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe. Dripping with pure emotion, enough to make any man sob.

Buck lurched forward at the rubble, putting his own injuries aside, dragging his broken ankle behind him, supporting himself of his stead foot, desperately trying to tear down the rocks which blocked him from his caption. His mentor. His friend. No fuck that. His dad, the only he didn't need to play up for. Who stood up for him as a father should.

"Bobby say something! Come on, please? cap!" He yells, broken sentences soaked with desperation as he tugged away a collapsed pillar from the pile, letting out a sigh of exhausted relief once he sees a hand. Ripping off his gloves, slamming to his knees scrambling to find a pulse, silently praying for his captains wrist to thump under his fingertips, begging for a lifeline, for anything.

Nothing.

#9 1 1 #9 1 1 fox #bobby nash #evan buck buckley #evan buckley #i wrote this instead of sleeping #im so tired #this wasnt proofread

[baby-jackass]

Coming out of my eternal hibernation to tell everyone I just read a fanfiction so emotional, just for me to not realise it was incompleted and be left on a cliffhanger

Loving life

#9 1 1 on fox #icriedbutinagoodway

[baby-jackass]

'respectfully asking for ryan dunn x a gn!reader cuddling hcs or just a small fic about them cuddling??'

Request from @nptnewr. Hopefully this drabble/headcannons is what you were hoping for! It took a while, but it's here for you guys to enjoy!

------------------------------------------------------------

Cuddling with Ryan Dunn - Gender neutral reader.

Your day has been exhausting, working along side the jackass crew is mentally draining. You are constant on guard, looking over your shoulder in fear of shavers brushing close against your scalp, checking each bottle or water or can you leave around, because lord knows what those morons might slip in there. Having to stand and film the most disgusting things coming out of Dave's ass, it is definitely not the easiest of jobs.

Needless to say, the moment you get home, you want nothing more then to sleep for the next hundred years. Luckily, your boyfriend is in the same situation and is just as desperate to collapse with you and stay in the same place for hours. Your average time spent with Ryan after work and then harassing the local bars, is spent with you and Ryan cuddling on beat up couch. It's not that comfortable, but it doesn't matter then your relaxed in each other company. Ryan not a fussy hugger, however he loves laying on his back, with you laying ontop of him, looking up at you while softly playing with your hair. He loves when you are just in the right place, where he can occasionally lean forehead and kiss the top of your head.

If either one of you needs to get up for various reasons, it definitely takes alot of procrastination before the movements to actually begin. For instance, if Ryan needs to get up he will spend ten minutes complaining about having to stand up, his arms around you tightly until he finally urges himself up. I can guarantee that you will not be left alone though, Ryan would more then likely pick you up with him. Laughing his ass off as he casually carries you around the house doing whatever he wishes to do.

Other then sweet cuddles, Ryan is the type to just randomly jump on your back while your distracted, and call it a hug. "Babe it's literally a koala hug, or a monkey hug, come on you know what I mean!" After a few minutes of clinging onto you, he may finally agree to let go, but only if you negotiate for watching a movie and cuddling with him later.

Later in the day like promised, and there is no escape from this promise. You WILL be dragged to bed otherwise. Ryan will happily become big spoon with you and let you choose which ever movie you wish. He isn't that bothered about the movie, more focused on staying close behind you and making sure you are comfortable. He will have a arm over your side and gently hugging around your waist and letting you use his other arm as a pillow, despite the definite chance of getting pins and needles later.

Ryan loves falling asleep while cuddling and staying close to you. One or both arms wrapped around you so he knows you feel safe. He will mildly focusing on the film while slowly getting more tired until he can no longer focus. He will put his head just behind your, gently breathing and listening to your own breath before falling asleep with you in his arms.

#ryan dunn #cuddling #gender neautral reader #gn reader #jackass headcanons

[baby-jackass]

My Official Masterlist!

This is my official masterlist with all of my headcannons, drabbles and fics and whatnot. My works are going to be put down in alphabetical order, to make it easier upon the eyes. I can not promise that my work is amazing, but hopefully you enjoy my silly little stories. Every new writing I publish I will update onto the masters list. But for now, I introduce you to my mind.

Some codes for the fics:

* Male reader,

° Gender neutral reader,

® Female reader.

• No reader

JACKASS:

- Chris Pontius protecting you *

- Cuddling and falling asleep with the Guys °

- Cuddling with Ryan Dunn °

- Dating Johnny Knoxville *

- Getting high with Johnny Knoxville °

- Guys with their little brothers •

- The guys coming to your prom °

TONY HAWK TOURS:

- Babysitting Bam Margera - Tony Hawks Secret Skatepark Tour °

9-1-1:

- Unnamed drabble •

I will write for Tony Hawk tours, Jackass, CKY, HIM and Viva la Bam as well as 9-1-1. I love requests, the more detail the better. It may take some time for me to complete them but I wil try my best. Currently I am SFW, but I am open to attempting NSFW.

#masterlist #jackass #viva la bam #cky #HIM #9 1 1 fandom

[baby-jackass]

respectfully asking for ryan dunn x a gn!reader cuddling hcs or just a small fic about them cuddling??

I love this, I'm adding it to my list right now 😊

[baby-jackass]

Hello Party People!

There is a brand new discord server for Jackass roleplay!

Created by @m0ssbugg with help by your truly

You can add your own characters of claim those from the jackass groups

Hopefully you will like this friendly server 🙂

#jackass #roleplay #we are friendly i promise

[baby-jackass]

Pussy Bacon

I fully support this message, thank you anon.

[baby-jackass]

Requests are officially open

And hopefully anonymous requests are working now 😊

[baby-jackass]

The Jackass guys with a little brother.

The little brother is named Kai in all of these, just to make it easier. Kai has no set designated age, but is within his teenage years, feel free to fluctuate the age depending on what you think suits the scenarios.

Johnny:

- Johnny would be a amazing older brother, he is protective and caring while at the same time, he will not hesitate to bully you.

- Johnny's rules as a big brother are basically 'im the only person who can be mean to my brother', the moment that Johnny realises that Kai is having troubles in school for being 'the loser brother', you bet that Johnny without any hesitation will walk into his school and steal him for the day, taking him filming, and purposely volunteering for the stupidest stunts so he could cheer Kai up.

-Johnny loves pulling pranks on his brother, nothing to harsh, small pranks which he gets a kick out of, and will always film and try to persuade Jeff to add to the movies. If Kai is in the shower, Johnny will have zero hesitation to flush the toilet and dump a bucket of freezing cold water over the shower curtain. Don't forget to cue turning off the light as he runs outside the bathroom laughing excitedly to the sound of a squeal and then 'JOHNNY!!'

- Johnny's snacks are never safe to steal, as there are regularly booby trapped snakes mixed in with his normal snacks. Kai learnt that the hard way while stealing Oreos, his breath was minty for hours while Johnny grinned for days straight.

- Halloween's with Johnny, calls for constant alert. There has been so much footage submitted to the jackass crew of Johnny hiding in dark corners of a room, waiting for Kai to walk in before jumping and yelling at him while wearing some creepy ghoul mask. The screams and punches thrown at Johnny by the panic stricken teen is always a gold mine for good footage.

Steve-O:

- Steve-O is definitely a chill brother, less like a brother and more like a best friend. Kai knows that he can always rely on his big brother to make time for him, from plans to go out for a day of crazy adventure, or Steve-O coming by for a few hours after filming to hang out for a while.

- Steve-O has no issue at all with sitting on Kai's bed and talking with him for full hours on end, covering any and every topic they can, from school, to filming, to romance, to animals. Steve-O's ADHD mind never running out of option to talk about, making the time spent with each other never boring and wholesome.

- Being Steve-O's little brother, for Kai is like being related to a sloth, anytime he is around Steve-O will constant have a arm around him, or will have his arms thrown around Kai's shoulders. Just constant physical contact all the time. His love language towards his little brother is purely physical contact and quality time. With them both spending ages cuddling, maybe watches movies or just in a comfortable silence with them both doing their own thing.

- As the little brother, Kai does not have to worry in the slightest about stressing out and find hiding places for his stuff, as Steve-O will pass down the hiding spots, and secret fake tiles down him like a family heirloom. 'Okay so this space if big enough for magazines, the bathroom tile that is loose, you can hide sweets and shit behind there'. Steve-O would love nothing more then to tell Kai all of the little house secrets. 'Okay, dad said you tried to sneak out, but you got caught, amateur move. This is how your supposed to...'

Chris:

- Chris is a typical older brother, he is the annoying, emmbarrasing older brother who is annoyingly able to make Kai laugh at any moment. Chris knows just how to annoy his brother, but his intention is always for a laugh, never to upset or hurt him.

- Chris's main goal as a older brother is to be annoying and to emmbarrase him. His favorite thing to do is harrasse Kai with his multiple different outfits. 'Come on Kai, give bunny the life guard a hug!' and will proceed to chase his brother around until he catches him, Chris will proceed to hold onto him 'okay, now say Chris is the best brother ever' 'what no way!' 'Kai, do you wanna be free again?

Okay so say it'. After five minutes of light hearted arguing with each other and lots of Chris's signature laugh, Kai is finally let go and able to run off.

- Chris is the biggest pain in the ass when Kai has friends over, constantly walking into his room and saying cheesy jokes to get a few laughs. Chris will always be able to become quick mates with his little brothers friends, and will take any chance to share photos of his brother as a baby. There has been way to many times where Chris has offered to do party boy for a laugh, and has very quickly been pushed out the room by Kai.

- Chris is the type of brother to push Kai over and then help him up again afterwards, there entire relationship is a war of practical joke, mini wars and constant competitions between each other. If Chris kicks Kai, Kai will kick back harder sort of relationship. But at the end of the day they are best buds.

- Chris is protective as a older brother, he wouldn't want to even think about Kai growing up, and meeting new milestones, like first kiss and dating, the idea irritates him. So of course, he will go through ever prevention method he has to stop this from happening. If Kai and his partner are in his room hanging out, there is no way on earth that Chris will allow the door to be closed. The moment the door slides closed, it will be kicked open by Chris 'NO NO NO, your a child. You are children. Your door has to stay open' and the simple to solution if Kai wants the door closed, easy, Chris will join them. He will make himself comfortable between the two kids, pushing them as far apart as he could and refuse to leave.

Ryan:

- Ryan as a older brother would be fantastic, Ryan would be Kai's best friend who lives with him. Ryan is a sweet and loving older brother, who is proud of all of his achievements, who will also prank him and do stupid stuff with him.

- Kai has never had to worry about looking out for his brother during his sport tournaments, as Ryan is always stood up with the biggest grin cheering him on 'go on Kai, kick their ass!!'. Even if Ryan is a massive fan of the game he is playing, he will always show up to support his little brother. Anytime Kai's team loose a match, straight afterwards Ryan will take him out for pizza, while claiming that the other team were cheating anyway, until his brother is smiling again.

- Ryan is massively emotional over Kai's achievements, and is highly likely to take so many photos of his brother on dates, or on achievement ceremonies, making little photo books for him. (and is bound to show these to his partners, with photos all the way since Kai was little).

- Ryan is Kai's go to chauffeur, if Kai has a date, Ryan is more then happy to drive them both to the cinema, taking photos of them both because he finds the young love sweet. 'okay, and of you guys get married you know I'm gunna show these right? And I need credit for taking you on the date' 'Ryan, stop it!'

- Kai is never seen as the annoying little brother who akwardly tags around his big brother all the time. Ryan loves taking him out and regularly invites him to join the crew for filming, or just a day out. Ryan is more then happy to do the same as well , and takes full interest in Kai's friend and will listen about them for ages.

Bam:

- Having Bam as a older brother would be chaotic to say the least, with what feels like endless pranks, endless teasing and constantly having cameras around the house. At times having Bam as a older brother could be slightly overwhelming, but there are definitely some amazing moments to being a Margera.

- Kai definitely loves being around his older brother and watching him do cool tricks and stunts. Bam loves showing off as well, so it's a perfect match, after trying for ages and finally completing a skating trick he will turn to his brother 'hey kid, you see that? Did you see how fucking cool your brother is' and will grin for ages when he agrees with him.

- Bam is so careful around his younger brother and is occasionally threatened by Kai and his threats to show people what he is like off camera. Because off-camera Bam isn't as much of a dick and is quiet sweet towards his family and friends. Kai definitely has ultimate blackmail over Bam for any occasion.

- Bam is definitely a reckless brother, and will constantly wake Kai up at three am to get his help for a prank, or from pranking him. A commen occurance is Bam jumping onto his brothers bed and smashing pans together making the younger jump and reactively hit him. 'Brandon fucking Cole I swear to god!' is yelled at least twice a week.

- Having Bam as a older brother, is being teased alot (although for the younger brother Bam knows when it's enough). But the second someone outside of the family and friend group says anything to Kai, Bam is straight onto them. 'Dude, what the fuck did you just say to him? No dude, what the fuck? What the fuck is up' Bam will not leave the situation until he is fully sure that his little brother is alright and that there is no risk of the other person coming back and staying stupid stuff again.

- Bam will 100% steal Kai's stuff all of the time, standing in his doorway watching the younger go mad trying to find his book, or wallet, or favorite shirt, while off course giggling to himself. It is always so obvious when Bam has stolen his stuff,but the moment that Kai turns around and accuses him, Bam acts completely outrages. 'what?? Why would I take your stuff? Seriously Kai? Why would I even NEED to do that, I could get my own stuff easily!'. And after at least twenty to fifteen minutes of freaking out, Bam will throw the missing item at Kai 'heres your stuff, love ya!' and then will walk off calmly with a massive smirk across his face.

Wee-man:

- Wee-man would be a amazing brother, he is definitely a cool and laid back brother, he never gives his little brother much hassel, and will always be there for him.

- With Kai and Wee-man there is no mini sibling war there is a alliance between them both to constantly harass everyone around them. With wee-man being able to hide in smaller spaces, and Kai being able to seem like a sweet kid, they pull countless pranks. From jumpscaring people, to luring people into a room where they promptly get attack by water balloons flying out of a cupboard. Wee-man and his little brother are unbeatable.

- Wee-man adores his little brother and will make sure that he is always alright, and will do anything to cheer him up. It is not a rare occasions for both of them to be hanging out in the kitchen talking about things while Wee-man is making his famous tacos for them both. Followed by a night off watching movies and laughing at each others jokes until you are both practically in tears.

- Kai knows that he can always go to his older brother for advice, wether it's advice on dating, help with homework, or just general advice on stuff. Wee-man is his go to guy, as he will just sit and listen to the entire situation before offering some quite often good advice.

- When they were younger wee-man and Kai were the bestest of friends! Always playing games with one another and showing each other cool stuff. Wee-man definitely showed Kai how to skateboard and would help him time he fell over 'come on your doing great, now next time...' Wee-man is definitely the type of brother to see something while shopping and ask their mum to buy it for Kai because he knows that Kai would love it.

Dave:

- Dave is 100% a sweet, protective and caring older brother. He would never want to see Kai get hurt and will always have the best ideas to spend time together.

- Dave is protective over his brother, in the sense, there is no way he would want his little brother to be like himself of his friends. Kai will coming to filming with Dave sometimes, but very rarely, and Dave made sure he never was allowed to do stunts that were dangerous and could get him hurt. 'Kai, I don't think you should. It's dangerous your just a kid, I'm sorry but I'm not letting you do that bud'

- Dave is a sweetheart and will find things that he thinks Kai might like and buy them for him, meaning a quick trip to the store for two items, ends up with a big and fun stuff. Kai is forever being given small presents, either bought or hand made, and he will cherish them no matter what, he adores that Dave thinks of him so often.

- Dave is the big brother who thrives off of making snacks for his younger brother. Kai is often presented with snack trays and new cool combinations to try, banana mayo sandwiches were definitely a quick pass.

- Kai is constantly with and around Dave. Their friendship is definitely strong and loving. Dave is definitely the type of older brother to pick up Kai and swinging him round for little to no reason and laugh while doing so. This happens s often that is is not a uncommon sight to see legs spinning around in the air along with laughter. After putting his brother down Dave will 100% mess up Kai's hair and then quickly fix it again.

Preston:

- Preston is definitely a sweet older brother, constantly putting his little brother as a top priority. Kai never has to worry about being lonely or having to worry about remembering things.

-Preston is a sweet brother, the perfect mix between gentle teasing and a sweet companion. He will constantly make sure that Kai is alright and if he wants to spend time together. Their go to plans of spending time with each other are usually laying on the sofa together with popcorn while watching horror movies. Out of them both Kai is slightly more jumpy at horror movies, so their solution is for anytime it's a bit to much Preston will just hug around his head to cover his eyes from the screen.

- Preston definitely has a massive range of nicknames for Kai, like a unique love language. They both just have little nicknames for each other, usually stemming from cheesy inside jokes. No one around them will understand why they call each other random words, but both brothers are usually cracking up at the nicknames.

- Kai often join Preston to filming on days when he doesn't have school, or when he is skipping. You can guarantee that he vividly enjoys watching his brother getting shot by paintguns and seeing him run to avoid them. Preston by the end of filming has several bald spots where Kai helped get him with the clippers. There is excellent footage of Preston chasing him around for a solid five minutes.

- Preston is a gentle teaser, he never has malicious intent but tends to over think about what he says. With Preston being 5'7, he is taller then Kai and will often playfully take the mick. Casually resting his arm on Kai's head, or looking straight over his head when he is talking. Kai doesn't mind it but finds it slightly annoying, however half an hour after Preston will go back and give him a hug with a soft apologie. Preston will remind Kai that his height doesn't matter in the slightest and that he is fine the way he is.

Ehren:

- Ehren would be a average older brother, a mix between irratating and sweet. The type of older brother to annoy Kai all day but then offer to take him the next day to make up for being a knob.

- If Kai wants to go out with Ehren, you can be sure that he has to physically drag Ehren out of the house 'ehren come on! Stop being lazy, I wanna go a buy snacks for the movie theater, come on please!'. Although there will be a lot of procrastination and complaining they will have a great time. With both of them together their is full mischief and choas in the store, running around the store doing stupid crap, spending at least fifteen minutes segueing over what snacks they where going to get. Coming to a compromise of just buying all the ones they both wanted.

- With Ehren, Kai comes on set for filming alot, usually from Ehren making excuses or sneaking him out of school. Kai loves it everytime, the guys often joke that they are his second family. While watching filming happen, Kai can be a bit protective of Ehren especially during shoot a like the "bear roundtable".

'oh come on, that's actually mean, I don't even think that's funny. Guys it's trying to eat him for god sakes'. As well as looking genuinely anxious for his brother. After stunts that always look hard on Ehren, Kai is the first person to hug him and make sure he's alright.

- Ehren is a nightmare in the mornings. Although he isn't necessarily a morning person, Ehren is still awake quiet early most days. And of course this leaves a perfect opportunity to annoy his younger brother. Kai is often woken up with soaking sponges crashing into the side of his face, followed by the sound of Ehren laughing and running off 'aha! Get sponged freak!'. Kai is never impressed by this and usually spends another twenty minutes in bed before coming out and intensly glaring at his older brother. 'okay okay! Ow stop throwing stuff!' and afterwards a soft apologie for calling him a freak, although next time he will definitely find a replacement word instead.

- Ehren is the type of brother to start up over nothing. If he is bored he will easily start a arguement over a small thing, something that will seem almost impossible to argue over. Ehren will walk up to unsuspecting Kai and start questioning him 'kai, what's the smallest amount of money you would suck dick for?', and any amount more then fifty bucks annoys him 'but dude, you could get fifty bucks easy for like what, five minutes of work. Your gunna have that offer so many times before you get what your asking making bigger bucks'. Both of the brothers would definitely get into full blown arguements over this topic, sometimes leading into short physical fights. Ehren hitting his brother, usually wincing himself in the first place 'jeez, are you made of steel or something!?'. And of course a returning hit, harder then the original, while Kai is grinning. Ehren would practically fall over with a dreamy whine 'kai! You don't have to be so violent, I was only messing about'. But of course at the end of the day they both love each other and are best buds.

#bam margera #jackass fic #chris pontius #johnny knoxville #danger ehren #dave england #preston lacy #ryan dunn #steve o #wee man #i thank the discord server #like they help so much lmao #sorry this took ages hopefully its worth the wait

[baby-jackass]

Jackass Guys with a Neurodivergent Reader Headcanons

request: I know it's really not been that long since the other. But anymore Nuero divergent x Jackass guys headcannons would be so great!!

steve o would be the best person to have a conversation with

because he’s so excitable and he would bounce off your energy to talk about a million different things

whether you’re rambling about the same topic for hours

or you’re switching between topics and diverting into multiple different stories and conversations

he’s willing to talk for as long as possible and takes the same amount of interest in everything you say

johnny would be one to help you stay on track with things

if you get distracted and start doing a handful of different tasks at once

he’ll take over what you were doing without blatantly bringing it up

and he knows you’ll come back to it and then it’s something you can do together

he enjoys your distractions and how your brain can think about so many different things at once

and he’s always watching over you because he doesn’t want you to get overwhelmed

so he’s got his head over your shoulder and is telling you when you need to take a break

very reassuring if you’re ever feeling frustrated

if you like a specific routine then he’ll ensure you can keep that wherever you are

his mind is always on how you can be kept comfortable in your surroundings and doesn’t want to cause you unnecessary stress

ryan would do the same thing

if structure is something you need then you’ll get it

and he goes to every effort to make sure you know enough about your plans for it to not cause any stress to you

all of the guys would be good at reading you

they ensure they know where your boundaries are

and are willing to help you communicate that to other people if you need it

they’re very understanding to the way you process things differently

and thinks it’s so cool that you can teach them about the way your brain works

chris would pick up on a lot of your stims

he likes to be aware of if you’re experiencing a lot of positive or negative emotions

and we all know chris bounces when he’s excited

so when he notices you jumping up and down he finds it something he loves that you both share

it makes him excited if you’re regulating positive energy

but on the other hand if he notices you attempting to release energy if you’re overwhelmed in a negative way

he’s trying to help you do this and has a close eye on you

picks up on your hand movements and immediately tries to help in any way possible

chris likes that you can teach him about your body language

so he can read you if sometimes you can’t communicate how you’re feeling in that moment

[baby-jackass]

Chris Pontius protecting a fan!

Male reader

You are a massive fan of the Jackass guys, with Chris always having a massive place in your heart. Chris has always been your favourite, with his hair, his loving nature and his ability to make people laugh at any given moment. So when you found out you would be able to meet the cast you were absolutely ecstatic!

You are in line waiting to see them at after one of their movie premiers and you are shaking in excitement. You can just about see the guys walking out of the premier doors as the loud cheers of excitement erupt around you, nearly deafening you. You grin excitedly holding onto the metal barrier stopping the crowd from making their way into the carpet, while trying to calm yourself so you don't make a fool of yourself infront of your idols.

The guys start walking down the red carpet while doing their best to interact with as many fans as possible, acting like their usual chaotic self's. Although sadly, Steve-o's penis did not make an appearance this time.

As they start slowly coming closer you shift from side to side with a mix of excitement and anxiety. A random guy pushes past you are the guys walk close, pushing you into the barrier and making you stumble and fall, and mumbles a few cusses before completely ignoring you. You cuss under you breath and rub your stomach where the harsh metal hit.

Chris turns around and frowns at the guy,

"Hey what the fuck. Watch where you are going asshole!"

He says and reaches over the barrier to help you up.

"You alright man? Took a hit against these"

He says, tapping the bars softly, looking concerned for you. You nod looking slightly dazed from confusion and shock,

"Uhm, yeah. I'm fine, and hey it can't be as bad as some of the stuff you guys have done"

You reply with a laugh, after getting up properly. Chris chuckles and nods, before glaring at the guy

"You may as well fuck off, no one here is going to sign any of your shit. We don't like prats like you"

He says and looks around at the security, before winking at you and tugging at the metal bars, until the two segments break apart.

"Come on then mate, you are coming with us"

He says with a grin and pulls you through onto the carpet, putting a heavy arm around your shoulders and pulling you away as other people try and come through the gap as well.

"Uhm, nope. I'm only letting...shit dude I don't even know your name yet!"

He says with his signature laugh, and waits for you to reply with your name before nodding and turning back to the ground

"I'm only letting my new main man y/n through, thank you very much"

He says and grins at Steve-o's mock offence at his statement

"Aww come on Stephen Gilchrist Glover, you know I could never replace you lover boy"

He says with a cheesy grin.

By the end of the day you have had the greatest day ever. Surrounded the guys, joking around, coming up with ideas for stunts and doing crazy shit. You and Chris had managed to grow pretty close even within the matter of hours, and it's been fantastic. You couldn't have asked for more.

#this was harder to write then j thought it would be but hopefully it is okay #i dont proofread cause it fustrates me #chris pontius #jackass fic #jackass #male reader #chris loves his stevie

[baby-jackass]

Chris interacting with a male reader coming soon, it's taking longer then I anticipated to be honest.

#chris pontius

[baby-jackass]

Thinking about Ryan Dunn

[baby-jackass]

Jackass Guys Dating a S/O with Autism Headcanons

request: Jackass guys dating a autistic male reader. It could be anything from the guys making sure if you stay in a hotel that the sheets are specific materials. Or helping you during sensory overload. Which guys would just listen to you ramble about your hyperfixations?

it goes without saying that all of the guys would put your needs above their own

they’d constantly be making sure you’re comfortable in the environment you’re in

i feel like johnny especially would be really vigilant about things for your comfort

he’s the one who takes every precaution as to not end up with you in a situation that doesn’t work for you

100% calls up the hotel you’re staying at and makes it very clear what materials the sheets should be

and he brings his own as a back up because he doesn’t trust them

chris would absolutely be one to read a situation which might become too much for you

and as soon as he sees signs of it becoming too loud or too much going on

he’s doing all he can to remove you from the situation and keep you calm

listens to your every word about what you need in that moment

always has headphones with him if music is something which helps calm you

very respectful about what you need in the moment

if it’s needing to leave or if you can’t communicate with him

all of the guys would ask what they can do for you during sensory overload

and they’d follow what you said to the exact word

now i think bam especially would enjoy listening to your hyperfixations

he’s mesmerised whilst he’s listening to you talk

and he asks a million questions because he’s so interested

i feel his personality would mesh well and he’d take a genuine interest in what you have to say

i’ll say the same for steve o

we know this man loves to talk

but what he loves more is listening to you talk

the two of you could spend hours listening to each other

and he’s always ready to listen whenever you feel like rambling

both bam and steve o would also remember what you say

and they’d tell others about it if they’re in a situation where it arises

i think johnny would make an effort to look into your hyperfixations if he didn’t know much about them

because he wants to listen and understand what you’re talking about

and also be able to contribute to what you’re talking about

chris would go out of his way to find out something he could tell you about

it’s his way of showing that he hears what you’re saying and isn’t just entertaining it

overall i think all of the guys would be very attentive and above all listen to what is best for you

they’ll do anything to make sure you’re comfortable

nothing is too much to ask for them when it comes to you

[baby-jackass]

Headcannons for male reader dating Johnny Knoxville!

Three months:

- You and Johnny have been dating for three months and it has been the best three months of your life. You are Johnny's first male partner, so the entire relationship so far has been full of amazing fun and sweet moments.

- Johnny adores movie nights with you, every other weekend you do movie nights and he will let you choose the movie, unless it's a shit movie then he will want to choose. You will both lay down on a sofa or a bed and watch TV. Johnny will insist on having his arms around your waist and cuddling you while watching whatever you have chosen.

- You and Knox are watching a horror movie one night. Which Johnny was not so subtle against at first. 'I don't really think you'll like it, come on love, it might be to scary for you'. It doesn't matter how much complaining he does, you will both end up watching it because there is little that he won't do for his boyfriend. This particular horror movie, there are quiet a few jumpscares in, and you can't help but notice that everytime one comes up Johnny ducks his face behind your shoulder and stays there for a few moments. You find this adorable, the man who does crazy stupid and quite frankly terrifying stunts for a living his scared of a monster on the TV screen. After a few flinches, you might offer to turn it off for him to which he would shake his head. 'no no no, it's fine love, I'm not scared. It's just some CGI popping up along with super fucking creepy music' he explains, trying to calm himself by using movie logic. Although halfway through the movie you'd cave and turn it off, because it was definitely to scary for you, not him of course. Johnny would just hug you tightly and nod. 'its okay baby, I'm here, you don't gotta be scared'.

- The second month into dating, you take Johnny for his first gay bar experience. Getting him to dress up in anything other then his ratty converse, jeans and dirty t-shirt. 'love, I don't get why I need to change I look fine. You said you loved my trainers!'. After complaining the enter way to the club, you both go inside, holding hands since there is no way on earth you are letting the sexiest Man you know walk around alone. Johnny would move from holding hands to putting a proud arm around you, 'come on baby, I wouldn't go home with any of these guys. You're mine and I'm yours'. Needless to say you both have a few drinks and a few shots and end up dancing with each other your favourite songs, the entire experience is sureal, Johnny staying close with you entire time immediately shutting down any guy that tries to talk to either of you. By early morning you both get home, you are tipsy or slightly drunk at most while Johnny is holding onto to you for support while walking while rambling praises to you 'love, your eyes are so pretty, please you're so hot I'm so fucking glad we are dating'. You laugh at him softly and help him get undressed for bed before laying with him, rolling over to be little spoon, surprised by the offended gasp behind you. 'baby, I want to be little spoon, you're warm, let me cuddle'. Ten minutes later Johnny is pressed up against you, his head against your chest and his arm around you while he is fast asleep.

Six months:

- Johnny isn't a big 'lets celebrate six months of dating', for him it doesn't really mean much since it isn't a big anniversary, but he would definitely go out for dinner with you if wanted to!

- By six months Johnny understand you so, well. The two of you have spent many evenings in each others arms and talking about important things, like what you want for the future, your pasts and emotions. Johnny can practically read you like a book, despite what your face may show. On down days, Johnny will look at you once in the mornings and realise that you aren't feeling great, with zero hesitation he will call in sick for work. 'Sweetheart, go back to bed and rest, I'll bring your breakfast and we can cuddle and watch your show?' Johnny's entire love language towards you is physical contact, wether it is you or him that don't feel so great he will always be the first to hug you, or kiss you on the cheek. There is no way on earth that he would ever leave you feeling upset or insecure. 'Baby, how can you feel sad when you're the sexiest Man alive. Look at you! You're perfect!'. If it's night and you are both feeling a bit meh, you will one hundred percent be dragged out for a midnight drive, stopping by a drive through for fast food and just driving around the city while singing like fools to whatever music is on the radio, wether good or bad.

- Johnny will often bring you to filming, and let you watch him do stupid shit or watch others do stupid shit. It could scare the hell out of you with some of the stuff he does so he will regularly warn you about what he is doing before hand. On a particular occasion he is doing yet another skit with bulls, he warned you before hand, but promised he would do his best to stay safe. The skit goes well, with no massive injuries being put into him, just a few minor injuries which the medics quickly patch up, but Johnny will go straight to you before anyone else. 'you see that babe? Did it look good? I fucking hope it did cause that hurt like a bitch' he would say and lean into you for hugs. Even though he wasn't massively injured he was still in alot of pain which of course requires comfort. He will sit next to you or shamelessly sit on your lap facing you for hugs until it felt better. Johnny really doesn't care in the slightest about the guys teasing him about it, not at all because you are the only thing that he really cares about. He will regularly joke that you are his painkiller, especially with the amount of times he comes and nuzzles up to you after a hard stunt. Before going back to help direct for the next skit, he will of course kiss you and yet again promise to stay safe, before going back to the guys who call out random stuff 'come on Knox, next skit is starting, stop suffocating your boyfriend lover boy!'. Johnny really can't care less about these comments as it just plays as a reminder of how much he loves you and isn't ashamed to admit it.

One year:

- You and Johnny have been dating for a full year and it has been the best year of your life! It has been full of the most reckless stuff, the sweetest moments, spicy moments and so many cuddles, hugs and kisses.

- Johnny is a massive believer in one year anniversary's, he loves that it means he has been dating you for a whole god damn year! He loves that it means he has been given the pleasure of such a sweetheart, so of course all of these means a big date night! Johnny would wake you up the breakfast in bed, after letting you like in to sleep in for a few hours. Most of the day would be spent in your house, cuddling, talking and spending time together. Towards the evening Johnny would be beaming 'come on baby, let's get dressed properly. I made us reservations' he would says and pull you to the bedroom to get changed. He himself would changed into a shirt and blazer with jeans, the closer he would ever get to a proper suit ' I know you've always said you want me to get a suit, but I decided that was a good compromise', you would love it, and love him even more for thinking of you! After half an hour Johnny drove you to a cinema

'okay baby, I know you said thought this new romance film sounded interesting, sooooo, I got us tickets!' he says with a grin passing you a ticket and then grinning even more when you hug him tightly and thank him. They were back row seats so you sit together and leans against each other sweetly through out the movie. Afterwards, you both go to this fancy restaurant place for dinner. You both have a nice dinner and get back home late evening.

#johnny knoxville #johnny knoxville imagine #this is so fucking gay i love it #jackass fic #male reader

[baby-jackass]

The jackass guys coming to your prom! Gender neutral reader.

You have been a massive fan of Jackass since you were a kid. Maybe you introduced by a parent or career, but you just fell in love immediately and watch clips on your phone and reading sweet headcannons about them almost daily.

You've been messaging the guys on Instagram for a while now. You haven't actually had any luck with responses or reading of messages, but that's fine.

You just finished you last year of school and prom is coming up, you decide as a joke to write letters to each other the guys, inviting them to your prom. Giving the location,time and date, because it wasn't like they were going to personally read the letters, let alone show up!

The night of prom and you're inside, listening to the current top music and dancing slightly. You hear gasps behind you and turn around, thinking someone had gotten hurt, but to your suprise the entire jack ass crew was stood in the entrance with massive grins.

"We're back at prom baby!"

Knoxville shouts and looks around, making eye contact one he spotted you and going over. You stare in shock, noting down his old converse shoes (which doesn't suprise you at all may I add) and a loose suit. His shirt untucked and a tie lazily done up, not tailored in the slightest and you loved it.

"And you must be y/n"

He says, grinning like a mad man at the look on your face. He takes the letter you sent to him out of your pocket and hands it back to you.

"Here, to save stamps"

He says cheerfully and gives you a massive hug, the smell of axe body spray lingering around him.

The rest of the guys follow after him there sole attention on you and only you. They looked fabulous. Chris was wearing a tight pink dress as well as the fluffy bunny ears.

"The life guard is here!"

He yells and hugs you almost immediately while you're stood there in shock.

Steve-o is stood by with his arms crossed wearing shorts and a t-shirt

"Your principle sucks ass dude! He wouldn't let me were my Speedos. Not even for five minutes!"

You can't help but laugh at that as he hugs you and steps back. Almost like the guys are in line to personally say hello to you. Ryan comes up next and smiles, taking your hand and kissing the back of it

"Nice to meet you, your daily messages are great by the way! But you should let me know which one is the bitch in this year"

He says with a grin and winking cheekily before stepping back, obviously not looking behind him and walking straight into Bam who would respond by kicking his shin and quickly moving to you before he could get kicked back.

"Bam. But you know that, well I'd hope. Otherwise the invites were very mistaken"

He says with a calm smile and offers you a hug by holding out a arm, which of course you would quickly move forward and hug him. The dark purple shirt and black suit jacket he was wearing pressing against you, surprisingly soft and clean smelling. Although maybe not the jeans and old trainers. He hugs back before moving back so wee-man could go up to you. Also getting swiftly kicked back by Ryan. Wee-man steps up to you with a smile and politely asks for your hand, to which you oblige. He grins and slides a corsage onto your wrist, a pink flower before showing you his matching on

"Here, now we match!"

He says with a massive smile before quickly showing you how the flower matched his shirt and tie, the shirt being a sweet lavender and his tie being a pink the same colour as the flower. Before getting gently nudged out of the way by Dave. You smile before getting quickly held onto by Dave who was struggling to stay balanced with rainbow roller skates on

"Hey y/n, I uhm, I came disco themed"

He says laughing nervously, wearing a black shirt with a disco ball printed onto the material with sequins sown into to truly dazzle someone. You laugh and hold hold is arms to balance him, asking if he can even roller skate to which he very cheerfully replies

"Not in the slightest!"

He says before starting to roll straight into Johnny, who catches him with a laugh. Preston laughs and steps forward with a smiles, in full cowboy attire he tips his hat politely

"Hi y/n, it's lovely to see you. Thank you for the invite!"

He says with a smile and offers you a hug which you quickly accepts since Preston is always the most huggable. You quickly thank him for coming as well, while hugged up towards him. Infatuated by the smell of gentle flowers and marshmallows. He smiles after ensign the hug an doing over to help Dave not fall on his ass. Ehren walks up to you nervously, dressed in a neat and tailored suits and tie.

"Hey, y/n, it's great to be here. I hope I'm dressed alright, the others went really cool and I went basic"

He says with a nervous smiles straightening the blazer softly before grinning when you hug him and tell him that he looks fine., You would get a very grateful thank you.

After twenty minutes of meeting the guys and being able to talk to them all separately and be out of shock to properly talk back to them all. Telling them all about anything they asked about. Ryan not so subtle asking alot of questions to do with assholes in your classes and 'who out of them would you prefer to see get emmbarrassed'

The current song starts to end and Chris runs over excitedly

"Y/n stop talking and watch!"

He says with a wild grin and runs to the dance floor with wee-man and preston, quickly getting everyone to clear as the beginning of WAP starts to play. Before you know it Chris is yelling

"Party boy lifeguard let's go!"

And his dress falls to reveal the bunny lifeguard bikini. There is audible gasps coming from around the room and Chris fearlessly starts performing the dance as your eyes go wide. Johnny leans into you with a grin

"He has been waiting for a opportunity to show people this for months, he has done nothing but talk about it the entire way here!"

He says with a laugh as Preston and wee-man star twerking by his side in moral support and promise of a gift. You are laughing hysterically at this point having the best time of your life.

Later on in the event, you end up covering for Johnny as he spikes the punch. You dance with Ehren, who was so nervous the entire time about stepping in your toes that he nearly kept stumbling anyway. You and Bam play a game of basketball with Dave on roller skates. You being the one to end the game when Dave nearly falls over.

The entire night was going so great, and within the last twenty minutes, it was going to get spectacular. You are stood by Ryan, casually talking as if you had known each other for years before he points at one of the assholes in your year

"They give you trouble?"

He asks, making you pause before slowly nodding

"What's there name?"

He asks with a hum, typing their name into something before putting his phone back

"Alright, nice chat gotta go!"

He says quickly running off to the room where the votes for prom titles had been taken, to offer a helping hand of course.

A few moments later and Steve-o is rolling into the room on Dave's roller skates in Speedos and his shirt

"I won!!"

He cheers, after he had made a agreement with the principle upon the Speedos and had won the chance to were then for one song now and the get dressed again. With the music blasting and Steve-o madly spinning around in circles on roller skates in Speedos. The night was great! Especially with you winning prom leader!

#bam margera #jackass fanfic #preston lacy #jackass fic #dave england #johnny knoxville #steve o #danger ehren #wee man #ryan dunn #gender neautral reader