bluejohsai - Tumblr blog

bluejohsai · 5 months

Text

words to use when writing

Appetite:

craving, demand, gluttony, greed, hunger, inclination, insatiable, longing, lust, passion, ravenousness, relish, taste, thirst, urge, voracity, weakness, willingness, yearning, ardor, dedication, desire, devotion, enthusiasm, excitement, fervor, horny, intensity, keenness, wholeheartedness, zeal

Arouse:

agitate, awaken, electrify, enliven, excite, entice, foment, goad, incite, inflame, instigate, kindle, provoke, rally, rouse, spark, stimulate, stir, thrill, waken, warm, whet, attract, charm, coax, fire up, fuel, heat up, lure, produce, stir up, tantalize, tease, tempt, thrum, torment, wind up, work up

Assault:

attack, advancing, aggressive, assailing, charging, incursion, inundated, invasion, offensive, onset, onslaught, overwhelmed, ruinous, tempestuous, strike, violation, ambush, assail, barrage, bombard, bombardment, crackdown, wound

Beautiful:

admirable, alluring, angelic, appealing, bewitching, charming, dazzling, delicate, delightful, divine, elegant, enticing, exquisite, fascinating, gorgeous, graceful, grand, magnificent, marvelous, pleasing, radiant, ravishing, resplendent, splendid, stunning, sublime, attractive, beguiling, captivating, enchanting, engaging, enthralling, eye-catching, fetching, fine, fine-looking, good-looking, handsome, inviting, lovely, mesmeric, mesmerizing, pretty, rakish, refined, striking, tantalizing, tempting

Brutal:

atrocious, barbarous, bloodthirsty, callous, cruel, feral, ferocious, hard, harsh, heartless, inhuman, merciless, murderous, pitiless, remorseless, rough, rude, ruthless, savage, severe, terrible, unmerciful, vicious, bestial, brute, brutish, cold-blooded, fierce, gory, nasty, rancorous, sadistic, uncompromising, unfeeling, unforgiving, unpitying, violent, wild

Burly:

able-bodied, athletic, beefy, big, brawny, broad-shouldered, bulky, dense, enormous, great, hard, hardy, hearty, heavily built, heavy, hefty, huge, husky, immense, large, massive, muscular, mighty, outsized, oversized, powerful, powerfully built, prodigious, robust, solid, stalwart, stocky, stout, strapping, strong, strongly built, sturdy, thick, thickset, tough, well-built, well-developed

Carnal:

animalistic, bodily, impure, lascivious, lecherous, lewd, libidinous, licentious, lustful, physical, prurient, salacious, sensuous, voluptuous, vulgar, wanton, , coarse, crude, dirty, raunchy, rough, unclean

Dangerous:

alarming, critical, fatal, formidable, impending, malignant, menacing, mortal, nasty, perilous, precarious, pressing, serious, terrible, threatening, treacherous, urgent, vulnerable, wicked, acute, damaging, deadly, death-defying, deathly, destructive, detrimental, explosive, grave, harmful, hazardous, injurious, lethal, life-threatening, noxious, poisonous, risky, severe, terrifying, toxic, unsafe, unstable, venomous

Dark:

atrocious, corrupt, forbidding, foul, infernal, midnight, morbid, ominous, sinful, sinister, somber, threatening, twilight, vile, wicked, abject, alarming, appalling, baleful, bizarre, bleak, bloodcurdling, boding evil, chilling, cold, condemned, creepy, damned, daunting, demented, desolate, dire, dismal, disturbing, doomed, dour, dread, dreary, dusk, eerie, fear, fearsome, frightening, ghastly, ghostly, ghoulish, gloom, gloomy, grave, grim, grisly, gruesome, hair-raising, haunted, hideous, hopeless, horrendous, horrible, horrid, horrific, horrifying, horror, ill-fated, ill-omened, ill-starred, inauspicious, inhospitable, looming, lost, macabre, malice, malignant, menacing, murky, mysterious, night, panic, pessimistic, petrifying, scary, shadows, shadowy, shade, shady, shocking, soul-destroying, sour, spine-chilling, spine-tingling, strange, terrifying, uncanny, unearthly, unlucky, unnatural, unnerving, weird, wretched

Delicious:

enticing, exquisite, luscious, lush, rich, savory, sweet, tasty, tempting, appetizing, delectable, flavorsome, full of flavor, juicy, lip-smacking, mouth-watering, piquant, relish, ripe, salty, spicy, scrummy, scrumptious, succulent, tangy, tart, tasty, yummy, zesty

Ecstasy:

delectation, delirium, elation, euphoria, fervor, frenzy, joy, rapture, transport, bliss, excitement, happiness, heaven, high, paradise, rhapsody, thrill, blissful, delighted, elated, extremely happy, in raptures (of delight), in seventh heaven, jubilant, on cloud nine, overexcited, overjoyed, rapturous, thrilled

Ecstatic:

delirious, enraptured, euphoric, fervent, frenzied, joyous, transported, wild

Erotic:

amatory, amorous, aphrodisiac, carnal, earthy, erogenous, fervid, filthy, hot, impassioned, lascivious, lecherous, lewd, raw, romantic, rousing, salacious, seductive, sensual, sexual, spicy, steamy, stimulating, suggestive, titillating, voluptuous, tantalizing

Gasp:

catch of breath, choke, gulp, heave, inhale, pant, puff, snort, wheeze, huff, rasp, sharp intake of air, short of breath, struggle for breath, swallow, winded

Heated:

ardent, avid, excited, fervent, fervid, fierce, fiery, frenzied, furious, impassioned, intense, passionate, raging, scalding, scorched, stormy, tempestuous, vehement, violent, ablaze, aflame, all-consuming, blazing, blistering, burning, crazed, explosive, febrile, feverish, fired up, flaming, flushed, frantic, hot, hot-blooded, impatient, incensed, maddening, obsessed, possessed, randy, searing, sizzling, smoldering, sweltering, torrid, turbulent, volatile, worked up, zealous

Hunger:

appetite, ache, craving, gluttony, greed, longing, lust, mania, mouth-watering, ravenous, voracious, want, yearning, thirst

Hungry:

avid, carnivorous, covetous, craving, eager, greedy, hungered, rapacious, ravenous, starved, unsatisfied, voracious, avaricious, desirous, famished, grasping, insatiable, keen, longing, predatory, ravening, starving, thirsty, wanting

Intense:

forceful, severe, passionate, acute, agonizing, ardent, anxious, biting, bitter, burning, close, consuming, cutting, deep, eager, earnest, excessive, exquisite, extreme, fervent, fervid, fierce, forcible, great, harsh, impassioned, keen, marked, piercing, powerful, profound, severe, sharp, strong, vehement, violent, vivid, vigorous

Liquid:

damp, cream, creamy, dripping, ichorous, juicy, moist, luscious, melted, moist, pulpy, sappy, soaking, solvent, sopping, succulent, viscous, wet / aqueous, broth, elixir, extract, flux, juice, liquor, nectar, sap, sauce, secretion, solution, vitae, awash, moisture, boggy, dewy, drenched, drip, drop, droplet, drowning, flood, flooded, flowing, fountain, jewel, leaky, milky, overflowing, saturated, slick, slippery, soaked, sodden, soggy, stream, swamp, tear, teardrop, torrent, waterlogged, watery, weeping

Lithe:

agile, lean, pliant, slight, spare, sinewy, slender, supple, deft, fit, flexible, lanky, leggy, limber, lissom, lissome, nimble, sinuous, skinny, sleek, slender, slim, svelte, trim, thin, willowy, wiry

Moan:

beef, cry, gripe, grouse, grumble, lament, lamentation, plaint, sob, wail, whine, bemoan, bewail, carp, deplore, grieve, gripe, grouse, grumble, keen, lament, sigh, sob, wail, whine, mewl

Moving:

(exciting,) affecting, effective arousing, awakening, breathless, dynamic, eloquent, emotional, emotive, expressive, fecund, far-out, felt in gut, grabbed by, gripping, heartbreaking, heartrending, impelling, impressive, inspirational, meaningful, mind-bending, mind-blowing, motivating, persuasive, poignant, propelling, provoking, quickening, rallying, rousing, significant, stimulating, simulative, stirring, stunning, touching, awe-inspiring, energizing, exhilarating, fascinating, heart pounding, heart stopping, inspiring, riveting, thrilling

Need:

compulsion, demand, desperate, devoir, extremity, impatient longing, must, urge, urgency / desire, appetite, avid, burn, craving, eagerness, fascination, greed, hunger, insatiable, longing, lust, taste, thirst, voracious, want, yearning, ache, addiction, aspiration, desire, fever, fixation, hankering, hope, impulse, inclination, infatuation, itch, obsession, passion, pining, wish, yen

Pain:

ache, afflict, affliction, agony, agonize, anguish, bite, burn, chafe, distress, fever, grief, hurt, inflame, laceration, misery, pang, punish, sting, suffering, tenderness, throb, throe, torment, torture, smart

Painful:

aching, agonizing, arduous, awful, biting, burning, caustic, dire, distressing, dreadful, excruciating, extreme, grievous, inflamed, piercing, raw, sensitive, severe, sharp, tender, terrible, throbbing, tormenting, angry, bleeding, bloody, bruised, cutting, hurting, injured, irritated, prickly, skinned, smarting, sore, stinging, unbearable, uncomfortable, upsetting, wounded

Perverted:

aberrant, abnormal, corrupt, debased, debauched, defiling, depraved, deviant, monstrous, tainted, twisted, vicious, warped, wicked, abhorrent, base, decadent, degenerate, degrading, dirty, disgusting, dissipated, dissolute, distasteful, hedonistic, immodest, immoral, indecent, indulgent, licentious, nasty, profligate, repellent, repugnant, repulsive, revolting, shameful, shameless, sickening, sinful, smutty, sordid, unscrupulous, vile

Pleasurable:

charming, gratifying, luscious, satisfying, savory, agreeable, delicious, delightful, enjoyable, nice, pleasant, pleasing, soothing, succulent

Pleasure:

bliss, delight, gluttony, gratification, relish, satisfaction, thrill, adventure, amusement, buzz, contentment, delight, desire, ecstasy, enjoyment, excitement, fun, happiness, harmony, heaven, joy, kick, liking, paradise, seventh heaven

Rapacious:

avaricious, ferocious, furious, greedy, predatory, ravening, ravenous, savage, voracious, aggressive, gluttonous, grasping, insatiable, marauding, plundering

Rapture:

bliss, ecstasy, elation, exaltation, glory, gratification, passion, pleasure, floating, unbridled joy

Rigid:

adamant, austere, definite, determined, exact, firm, hard, rigorous, solid, stern, uncompromising, unrelenting, unyielding, concrete, fixed, harsh, immovable, inflexible, obstinate, resolute, resolved, severe, steadfast, steady, stiff, strong, strict, stubborn, taut, tense, tight, tough, unbending, unchangeable, unwavering

Sudden:

abrupt, accelerated, acute, fast, flashing, fleeting, hasty, headlong, hurried, immediate, impetuous, impulsive, quick, quickening, rapid, rash, rushing, swift, brash, brisk, brusque, instant, instantaneous, out of the blue, reckless, rushed, sharp, spontaneous, urgent, without warning

Thrust:

(forward) advance, drive, forge, impetus, impulsion, lunge, momentum, onslaught, poke, pressure, prod, propulsion, punch, push, shove, power, proceed, progress, propel

(push hard) assail, assault, attack, bear down, buck, drive, force, heave, impale, impel, jab, lunge, plunge, press, pound, prod, ram, shove, stab, transfix, urge, bang, burrow, cram, gouge, jam, pierce, punch, slam, spear, spike, stick

Thunder-struck:

amazed, astonished, aghast, astounded, awestruck, confounded, dazed, dazed, dismayed, overwhelmed, shocked, staggered, startled, stunned, gob-smacked, bewildered, dumbfounded, flabbergasted, horrified, incredulous, surprised, taken aback

Torment:

agony, anguish, hurt, misery, pain, punishment, suffering, afflict, angst, conflict, distress, grief, heartache, misfortune, nightmare, persecute, plague, sorrow, strife, tease, test, trial, tribulation, torture, turmoil, vex, woe

Touch:

(physical) - blow, brush, caress, collide, come together, contact, converge, crash, cuddle, embrace, feel, feel up, finger, fondle, frisk, glance, glide, graze, grope, handle, hit, hug, impact, join, junction, kiss, lick, line, manipulate, march, massage, meet, nudge, palm, partake, pat, paw, peck, pet, pinch, probe, push, reach, rub, scratch, skim, slide, smooth, strike, stroke, suck, sweep, tag, tap, taste, thumb, tickle, tip, touching, toy, bite, bump, burrow, buss, bury, circle, claw, clean, clutch, cover, creep, crush, cup, curl, delve, dig, drag, draw, ease, edge, fiddle with, flick, flit, fumble, grind, grip, grub, hold, huddle, knead, lap, lave, lay a hand on, maneuver, manhandle, mash, mold, muzzle, neck, nestle, nibble, nip, nuzzle, outline, play, polish, press, pull, rasp, ravish, ream, rim, run, scoop, scrabble, scrape, scrub, shave, shift, shunt, skate, slip, slither, smack, snake, snuggle, soothe, spank, splay, spread, squeeze, stretch, swipe, tangle, tease, thump, tongue, trace, trail, tunnel twiddle, twirl, twist, tug, work, wrap

(mental) - communicate, examine, inspect, perception, scrutinize

Wet:

bathe, bleed, burst, cascade, course, cover, cream, damp, dampen, deluge, dip, douse, drench, dribble, drip, drizzle, drool, drop, drown, dunk, erupt, flood, flow, gush, immerse, issue, jet, leach, leak, moisten, ooze, overflow, permeate, plunge, pour, rain, rinse, run, salivate, saturate, secrete, seep, shower, shoot, slaver, slobber, slop, slosh, sluice, spill, soak, souse, spew, spit, splash, splatter, spout, spray, sprinkle, spurt, squirt, steep, stream, submerge, surge, swab, swamp, swill, swim, trickle, wash, water

Wicked:

abominable, amoral, atrocious, awful, base, barbarous, dangerous, debased, depraved, distressing, dreadful, evil, fearful, fiendish, fierce, foul, heartless, hazardous, heinous, immoral, indecent, intense, mean, nasty, naughty, nefarious, offensive, profane, scandalous, severe, shameful, shameless, sinful, terrible, unholy, vicious, vile, villainous, wayward, bad, criminal, cruel, deplorable, despicable, devious, ill-intentioned, impious, impish, iniquitous, irreverent, loathsome, Machiavellian, mad, malevolent, malicious, merciless, mischievous, monstrous, perverse, ruthless, spiteful, uncaring, unkind, unscrupulous, vindictive, virulent, wretched

Writhe:

agonize, bend, jerk, recoil, lurch, plunge, slither, squirm, struggle, suffer, thrash, thresh, twist, wiggle, wriggle, angle, arc, bow, buck, coil, contort, convulse, curl, curve, fidget, fight, flex, go into spasm, grind, heave, jiggle, jolt, kick, rear, reel, ripple, resist, roll, lash, lash out, screw up, shake, shift, slide, spasm, stir, strain, stretch, surge, swell, swivel, thrust, turn violently, tussle, twitch, undulate, warp, worm, wrench, wrestle, yank

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bluejohsai · 5 months

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LOVE EQUATION. 𓍯 CHILDE SMAU

PREFACE. embarrassed by your three year (and counting) long crush on zhongli, you suddenly claim you have a boyfriend. there enters childe, your crush’s best friend and the one who’ll either help with your lie or report you to the police for harassment. or in which caught up in a lie, you had no choice but to kiss the closest person next to you.

FEATURING. childe x she/her!reader, a little bit of zhongli x reader, other genshin impact characters! (they are too many to list)

GENRE. fluff, slight angst, highschool au, fake-dating trope

TAGLIST. please send an ask / message if you wish to be tagged.

AUTHOR’S NOTES. (🧸) means there is a written portion within the chapter. based on ali hazelwood’s the love hypothesis 🫶 one of my fave books and key motivators as a woman in stem!

✹ profiles .𓂃 wonder pets | ass shakers

ch. 01 — three years worth of pining

ch. 02 — eat the rich

ch. 03 — the list

ch. 04 — overpriced coffee and chemical equation 🧸

ch. 05 — overpriced coffee and chemical equation pt. 2 🧸

ch. 06 — hey fake girlfriend *obnoxiously winks*

ch. 07 — terms and conditions

ch. 08 — insufferable pda 🧸

ch. 09 — is this what you call soft launching

ch. 10 — first date

ch. 11 — after school activities 🧸

ch. 12 — childe’s homemade lunch 🧸

ch. 13 — annual sports fest

ch. 14 — volunteer work

ch. 15 — a volleyball player’s WAG 🧸

ch. 16 — after party

ch. 17 — cat whisperers ( literally ) 🧸

ch. 18 — insufferable pda minus the p 🧸

ch. 19 — monthsary

ch. 20 — yoimiya carry fr

#— genshin smaus 🩷

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bluejohsai · 5 months

Text

Lights, Camera, Action! - scaramouche x reader smau

summary:

you’re best friends with the famous band of all time, 5WIRL. however, DCKZ are rising to the top which are leaving your friends in the dust. the solution: add a new member, a new face to start some attention! it did cause attention alright, especially for your heart.

pairing: scaramouche x gn!reader

genre: band au, smau, fluff, crack, celebrity x reader, angst

warning: cursing, scandals, false rumors, kys jokes, mistreatment

status: ongoing!

taglist: open!

5WIRL the lovers DCKZ

Prologue: 1 & 2

01: congratulations! (you’re fucked)

02: common venti L

03: todays the day

04: childe has 0 rizz

05: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, SIX

06: let’s do it

07: << egg sandwiches

08: not your wife

09: fake birthday

10: scarapoo

11: sandwich kisses

12: stay mad

13: kaeyas delusional era

14: yn’s love life

15: SCARA!

16: therapist venti

17: the first show

18: bitchy woman

19: cricket cricket

20: just a friend

21: oh

22: strong

23: retweet

24: im glad to have met you

25: the delusions won

26: HE WANT ME

27: yes

28: TEN?????

29: giggling

30: hoe list

31: date night

32: together 4eva

33: bf reveal

34: enough is enough

35: best friends

36: sugar booger

37: marriage arc

38: fucking kids

39: by my side

40: kazurizz

41: oops i did it again

42: suck it up

43: stupid + stupid

44: = scarayn

45: angel from heaven

46: jealousy jealousy

47: boy what

48: fine then

49: feelings suck

50: hopefully

51: I’m Sorry

52: two weeks!?

53: he’s everywhere

54: bitchless era

55: good luck (you need it)

56: the artist named “….”

57: bye boyfie

58: love confessions

59: yn the widow

60: scara the widower

61: NOW NOW NOW

62: TAY

63: PAC-MAN

64: horrible people

65: pussy

66: big fan

67: what about us?

68: ten kids confirmed

69: crashing down

70: sleeping beauty

71: Goodbye Moon

72: new you new me

73: rattled cages

#— genshin smaus 🩷

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bluejohsai · 5 months

Text

LOWKEY

a kamisato ayato social media au

i’ve been lookin’ at you since half past two wanna take this downtown? this liquid courage got me way too honest

pairing — ayato x f! reader [ S2L! college au ]

summary — it was only recently you found out kamisato ayaka was, in fact, not an only child after all! seeing ayato for the first time gave you the severest case of the butterflies but according to ayaka, he’s off limits, especially to you as her most treasured friend. well, what she doesn’t know won’t hurt, right?

warnings — cursing, angst, arranged marriage

status — on-going

author’s note — in the au, ayato is only a year older than ayaka. (ღ) = written text.

profiles — teyvat stripers / overworked w no pay

ꕤ 01. damn rich kids

ꕤ 02. kamisato material (ღ)

ꕤ 03. wait, ayato?

ꕤ 04. ayaka material gworl

ꕤ 05. nice meeting you (ღ)

ꕤ 06. its just a tiny crush

ꕤ 07. he’s off limits to you

ꕤ 08. don’t leave me on read.

ꕤ 09. one question a day

ꕤ 10. okay new rule

ꕤ 11. i met you that night

ꕤ 12. fine, i admit it. she is.

ꕤ 13. how mediocre

ꕤ 14. shut up k no one likes u

ꕤ 15. pick another major

ꕤ 16. a dunk of cold water (ღ)

ꕤ 17. this is so exciting

ꕤ 18. lord im gonna have a stroke

—» bonus. lockscreen wallpaper

ꕤ 19. you can wear my sweater (ღ)

ꕤ 20. thats a secret

ꕤ 21. what a bunch of bullshit

ꕤ 22. mtoo drubk

ꕤ 23. even if you don’t remember (ღ)

ꕤ 24. ur acting like a coward

ꕤ 25. who says we wont?

ꕤ 26. only for today (ღ)

ꕤ 27. too good at goodbyes

ꕤ 28. stop being naive, ayato! (ღ)

ꕤ 29. help a poor soul

ꕤ 30. jesus skateboarding

ꕤ 31. forget the flowers (ღ)

—» bonus. ur stupidity benefits me

ꕤ 32. only for a special someone

ꕤ 33. or did you? (ღ)

ꕤ 34. never should’ve liked you (ღ)

ꕤ 35. fuck this shitty friendship

ꕤ 36. late night gossip sesh

ꕤ 37. weren’t mine to lose

ꕤ 38. you’re not a horrible person (ღ)

ꕤ 39. only have two days

ꕤ 40. drop whatever you’re doing

ꕤ 41. pack your bags

ꕤ 42. that personality is insufferable

ꕤ 43. something more valuable (ღ)

ꕤ 44. a love stolen away (ღ)

ꕤ 45. wedding of the century

ꕤ 46. ma'am, with all due respect

ꕤ 47. congrats to batch ‘23!

ꕤ 48. uh oh

ꕤ 49. the grim reaper

ꕤ 50. i think i ruined your PJs (ღ)

ꕤ 51.

ꕤ taglist — CLOSED. tell me if u want to be removed from the list or you changed usernames. thanks!

#— genshin smaus 🩷

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bluejohsai · 5 months

Text

heartbeat rhythm! [fanboy!scaramouche x drummer!reader] ⎯⎯ modern au, fluff, wee bit of angst

the rewritten project of the secrecy of our confessions.

what happens when you, a talented and well-known drummer across the web, grow an intense crush for the student council president, who's also your number one fan? from annoying sisters to nosy bandmates, the next event that happens is always more chaotic than the last!

taglist is closed

tags: @mariusvonhangme @scaramoo @mikismusings @rizakari @akagism2 @sakiimeo @ohmyfinggod @aethersluvrr @scarafrisbee @kaoyamamegami @liliumaraneae @dreamsofminnie @starfart19 @kunisbeloved @luhvashh @makiswrld @kyouzki @mimissubway @loucaroarz @theblueblub @angelunatic @shinjuuz @thenightsflower @coquettemaiden @thefandomcrow @cotton-eee @lovely028 @hrtswinter @duckyyyx @kissingkzuha @dazaisboner @adeptusx @tomotofu @yukiipc @loverhole @star583 @soobasaur @aeongiies @ghosted-fr @scaraapologist @raideneiari @rvoulte @aaeng121 @pyrrhicgaze @tjjjrsj @enviouspeanut @d4y-dr3am3r @aromaticism @undecidingfate @kur44pika (50/50 tags occupied)

status: ongoing (started on feb.24.2023)

side notes: guys i beg you do not spam like as you read each chapter thanks🤝

⎯⎯ MY HEARTBEAT RHYTHM!

O1: live performance!

O2: can i have your twt?

O3: totally not friends!!

O4: the student council

O5: madam faruzan who?

O6: 1+ student council member!

O7: manager faruzan

O8: a helping hand

O9: his way of thanks

1O: class 1-D's preparation

11: a suspicious offer?

12: shopping spree!

13: bumping into someone familiar

14: to be stressed

15: to be comforted

16: the big day!

17: i don't know if i can trust you anymore

18: stuck

19: sick days

20: this one's for you!

epilogue: he was once my biggest fan.

BEATS FOR YOU ⎯⎯

#— genshin smaus 🩷

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bluejohsai · 5 months

Text

PRIVACY

so won't you come and be my lover?

— a kamisato ayato x f!reader smau — also celebrity au — status: completed

SUMMARY — a new year means new beginnings. with your resolution being 'to live a more peaceful life', the start of your year could not go any more wrong when you get involved in a dating scandal with renowned actor kamisato ayato. denying it is easy, but not when the other party gives the completely opposite response.

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆.

[name]'s : official | personal ayato's : official | personal

𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐒.

00: happy new year 01: aether's fault 02: don't leave me on read 03: promise 04: the best part 05: i lied 06: friendship ended 07: respect [name] 08: kiss scene 09: you're my bf 10: ayato hate page | 10.5 (extra): ayadog 11: are you my heart? 12: clean it up 13: all mine 14: i won the lottery 15: gladly, ma'am 16: romance drama 17: sour and salty 18: your place or mine? 19: idea of luxury | 19.5 (extra): no shame 20: airing live

21: i come with free cuddles 22: you have a priv? 23: you >>> everybody else 24: girlfriend privileges 25: #HappyAyaYnDay 26: let's go out 27: i always had a feeling 28: punch your irrelevant selves 29: please go away 30: happiness is a butterfly 31: champagne problems 32: i will gladly break my heart for you 33: truly, madly, deeply 34: one mistake 35: sincerely, [name]'s lover

36: i beg of you 37: it's all yours | 37.5 (extra): i'm connecting the dots 38: daylight 39: kiss them away 40: i am revived 41: karma era 42: my mother did not raise a quitter | 42.5: only my beloved could 43: yes you are 44: i still get jealous 45: they aren't you 46: to the girl i've loved before | 46.5: hahaha 47: farewell, moots 48: you look better with me 49: now i wake up by your side 50: last laugh

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒

idk what im doing

will contain swearing

mistakes such as grammatical and typographical errors may be committed (eng is not my first language pls bear with me :"D)

updates might be inconsistent

taglist is now closed :>

#— genshin smaus 🩷

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bluejohsai · 7 months

Text

some fucking resources for all ur writing fuckin needs

* body language masterlist

* a translator that doesn’t eat ass like google translate does

* a reverse dictionary for when ur brain freezes

* 550 words to say instead of fuckin said

* 638 character traits for when ur brain freezes again

* some more body language help

(hope this helps some ppl)

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bluejohsai · 2 years

Text

pretender — eren jaeger

— eren jaeger x female reader (college au)

— content: angst for our birthday boy :"))

— summary: a series of events throughout college where eren has to pretend he never harbored any feelings for you.

— word count: 7.9k

— notes: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO EREN !! i posted this a little early because i won't have that much time logging into tumblr tomorrow since my schedule is packed with three exams. why is it that every time i write for eren, it's always unrequited love or somewhat related to that, pls forgive me hhhhh and it's his birthday, too. buuut what better way to celebrate his birthday than some good-old modern au angst ??? yep, good thing i didn't decide on making a canonverse one --- that one would break me. n e way, i hope you lovely humans enjoy this (let's be real here, i cried while writing the last bit of this, okay???) mwa, have fun reading! (also, it's best if you guys listen to higedan's pretender to amplify the emotions oop)

reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated !! masterlist

also, as usual, this is unedited :>>

No matter how hard he tries to be with you under the spotlight, he’s always part of the audience.

You’re a shining star — the center of a solar system that is your friend group and the string that manages to connect everyone together. Before forming your tight-knit circle, you were already best friends with Jean and Marco, roommates with Mikasa, and department buddies with Armin. You’re a born social butterfly who manages to make a name for herself in your university. You wear kindness and empathy on your sleeve like no other even if you started your day with a negative outlook (mostly from frustration and burn-outs from your quizzes and essays). People say you’re a breath of fresh air when you’re around, others say that your advice brightens their day, or in the rarest of the bunch’s case, you make their stomach tingle with just your smile.

Eren is pretty sure he’s in the third category.

He doesn’t know when this emotional fiasco first started but all he knows is that falling for you was a process that he was unaware of until Armin made him realize it. In the first place, Eren isn’t that particularly close with you. You tend to spend more alone time with Armin or Mikasa than with him. The only time you two talk is when the entire friendship circle gathers for a hang-out or when Mikasa invites you to dinner with their childhood trio. They’re all awkward exchanges that all of your friends pity at, some of them even taking the reins to keep the conversation going because Eren seems to forget what he’s about to say when you’re focusing your attention on him.

At least that’s what your friends believe.

Nonetheless, those goddamn eyes that sparkle on their own, hair that effortlessly frames your face, lips that quirk a little in anticipation of his words — everything about you is just pure torture for his weak heart.

Since the beginning, Eren already felt the telltale signs of him being lovesick.

The first time you two met gazes, he had to inhale a deep breath. It was freshman year in college and Mikasa needed help putting her boxes in her dorm room. Being the kind-hearted and caring best friend that he was (a thing that he boasted well to the point where Mikasa had to humble him by saying otherwise), Eren offered to carry some boxes. Good thing that the black-haired girl’s dorm room was only situated on the third floor or else he would’ve dipped the moment he saw the tall building of Rose Dormitories. With Mikasa still by the counter to get her a copy of their dorm room key, Eren entered the opened door with confidence that shouldn’t be done inside a girls’ dormitory.

All it took was you turning around from decorating your pin-up bulletin board to render him breathless.

Your eyelashes flutter in surprise to see a tall male carrying two boxes and sauntering inside your dorm room as he owned it. At first, you questioned if this was really a dormitory for girls or you just misread the pamphlet before moving in. Your arms that were on the bulletin board beside your bed slackened until you stood upright, your hands clutching the photographs you were about to pin.

“U-Uhm, hi?” It was more like a question that had you raising an eyebrow at him. Eren inwardly cursed himself while trying to make himself look small, which didn’t exactly help him since he was pretty tall for his age. “I-I’m just gonna put the boxes h-here.” He chuckled nervously because he could still feel your gaze drilling on his head.

“Oh, it’s fine,” you chimed, a smile on your face despite your initial wariness.

Eren stopped, his back facing you but his eyes were bouncing on Mikasa’s barren side of the dorm room. He contemplated looking back at you to check if you were still gauging him. Only then he could breathe when he heard you open some boxes on your side. The entire time, Eren was as stiff as a board, the awkwardness seeping through him as he stood there with his front facing away from you. Pretty sure you were now listening to some music in your AirPods, as observed from your occasional humming.

“Thank you for helping me, Eren,” Mikasa called for him.

He jumped at her voice, his attention focusing on your melodious hums for the past ten minutes. “Oh, shit!”

You looked up at the abrupt exclamation, first, at Eren and then at Mikasa. Your face instantly brightened at the sight of the short-haired young woman entering the dorm room. “You must be Mikasa, right?” You took off your AirPods and extended a hand in front of her with a friendly jubilance. “I’m [Name], your roommate.”

Mikasa stopped side-eyeing Eren with a judgmental sheen in her eyes (probably because he was standing too long like an idiot with you in the room) to flash you a small grin. She accepted your handshake, her hand firm against yours. “Yeah. Mikasa Ackerman. Nice to meet you.”

“Pleasure to meet you, too.”

Once you two let go of the handshake, Mikasa looked at Eren. “That’s my best friend, Eren.” At that, Eren waved with a sheepish smile on his face. You returned the gesture to him before focusing your attention on your new roommate. She smiled when you two met gazes again. “I’m sorry if he’s too awkward while you’re moving in. He has a habit of being too shy around pretty girls.”

Eren gawked at Mikasa, who effortlessly said those words that garnered a flustered reaction from you. It came off so easy to her when all Eren did to gain your attention was to act like an idiot who was never around girls aside from his best friend slash practically older sister (by a month!). There was a knowing smile on Mikasa’s face that irked him. Oh, she knew that Eren was shot with attraction at first sight. She was actually standing in the open doorway, observing him whilst he was standing like that meme going around social media nowadays. Eren narrowed his eyes at the smug girl, who never once looked back at him. He knew she could feel the warning signs going off from his perch and he knew she had this urge to subtly tell you that he was interested in you.

Who could blame him though?

You were definitely the prettiest girl he never saw in his life.

Eren remembered randomly thinking about someone so ethereal while delving into the topic of ideal lovers during a sleepover with Mikasa and Armin. He thought about how she might’ve eyes that simply smile without doing it or a love for anything she could touch. He thought about her eyes, how they sparkled when they had an idea or a eureka moment. Would he meet her in a random coffee shop? Or in the streets, while he was running for some shelter from the rain? All of those scenarios he conjured in his head vanished the moment his eyes found you. He never thought he could see that girl right now in front of him, just a few paces in a four-walled dorm room with two beds.

Relationships were the least thing he could ever touch on while starting university, determined to follow his father’s and brother’s footsteps in the medical field. And Mikasa was right, he was awkward, too awkward, around women in general. The only exceptions were his mom, said best friend, and family dog (this wasn’t counted but Freya was family and had been there for him since he was in primary school). It was natural for him to react that way because you were so angelic while doing your thing in this empty dorm room.

“You’re the pretty one here, Mikasa!” You exclaimed with warm cheeks.

“Nah,” Mikasa smiled. “You’re definitely prettier. Am I right, Eren?”

Mikasa and her perceptiveness — Eren hated it. Her eyes were like lasers. He laughed his nerves off while looking directly at you. “Yeah. Definitely a pretty girl you are.” What the fuck? When did he become Yoda? Now, Eren wanted to bury himself ten feet underground.

You laughed lightheartedly. “You’re adorable, Eren.”

Mikasa prevented herself from laughing out loud by biting her bottom lip and shaking her head.

“I’m looking forward to talking with you more, Eren.”

Eren gulped, lifting his gaze to be blinded by your smile. “Y-Yeah. Same here, p-pretty girl.”

Now, Mikasa snorted.

You fully turned to him. “Good to know, pretty boy.”

All it took was one moment with your exuberant nature to know that he was undeniably and irrevocably screwed.

He thought this would fade away, seeing as there were also so many attractive girls around campus while he was stressing out during freshman year. He recalled some of them but none of them imprinted their image in his brain the way you did. He would search for you in a crowded cafeteria, turn his head towards the sound of your voice, and gravitate towards you without crossing the boundary. It was always testing the waters with you in the first year of college, knowing that Eren didn’t fully recognize that what he was feeling was a blooming crush. He thought you were just a pretty face that his mind couldn’t shake off but there was a voice whispering somewhere about how it ran deeper than the usual infatuation. He never listened to it so he chose to let it be.

That was three years ago.

The feeling just keeps getting bigger and bigger until it consumes his entire body and he has no choice but to let himself drown in everything about you.

His first mistake was never acknowledging what he felt for you. Now, he can pinpoint the reasons why he was so hesitant. First, he was unaware of romantic feelings. His whole life revolved around maintaining his school standing that even if some girls expressed their interest in him, he’d bolt the other way before saying a quick hello. Second and probably the one he’s most sure of, he was scared that time. Scared of the fact that this would lead to heartbreak, that you’re going to end up as someone he can only reminisce about once he reaches the end of college.

But the more he thinks about you, the more he spirals into a spring-filled rabbit hole.

“Shit. Shit. Shit.”

Eren jumped from lounging on his bed, back ramrod straight and eyes wide as he stared at his phone. There was just no way that he double-tapped on one of your oldest posts on Instagram. He made sure to never do that before scrolling through your profile. His heart was pounding rapidly in his chest, his mind swirling with thoughts of unliking your post. His finger hovered over the picture featuring a much younger you lying down on a field of daisies. Of all pictures, he had to like a photo set featuring Jean, the most insufferable person Eren ever knew at the moment.

Never mind that. Eren shook his head, putting his concern about your relationship with Jean way into the back of his mind.

But that would make it suspicious — unliking something from so long ago because you would check it. His name would appear and if it didn’t after you clicked on the notification, you’d be questioning whether he was right in the head or not.

“This can’t be happening right now. I’m such a fucking idiot!” Eren buried his hands through his unbound hair. “I shouldn’t have visited her profile. I shouldn’t have listened to Armin when he told me to check her account out. I shouldn’t have let my curiosity win!” Eren groaned, falling back on his bed with a bounce, his phone resting idly beside his body.

This was the first time Eren braved himself into visiting your socials.

Armin tagged you in an Instagram story a few months back and because Eren asked Armin where he was through that story, the blond relayed that he was with you on a museum ‘date’ and that he should be back in time for their weekly gaming night. (It was a Friday.) The story featured Armin taking a video of himself before calling your name, the camera panning over Armin’s shoulder, in time for your radiant smile and joyful wave in front of a wood carving.

Eren was in shock at first. His best friend, who rarely went out with people he barely knew, invited you (who he only knew for a semester) on a museum ‘date’? It also didn’t help when he saw that Armin posted a photo set of this museum ‘date’ and in the first picture, there was a shot of your back staring at a massive painting. For some reason, Eren let out a heavy sigh when he flipped through the pictures. This burdening pit inside his stomach remained until Armin came home to their dorm room. Not knowing the reason behind the sourness, Eren sulked the entire night, which the blond didn’t appreciate at all. Especially when he got his best friend the special from the museum’s restaurant. That was expensive. Of course, Eren’s emo episode ended right there, not telling Armin why he did that in the first place.

Then, Armin shared his day with you.

You and Armin were in the same department — marine biology. Since most of your classes aligned with one another, the two of you went through lectures together, even partnering with each other during lab work. Armin found your wit and wonder to understand the oceanic world fascinating and relatable. That night of the supposed museum date, he even told Eren a little detail about his relationship with you that he kept to himself. Armin knew you when he confirmed his slot in the marine biology department, with you visiting the university on the same day as well. Eren then found out you had more friendly dates with Armin than he anticipated. It’s like a pact between single friends, a way to enjoy the company with each other, and a token of appreciation for sticking when push comes to shove.

Again, it was another thing that his friends had with you that he didn’t.

A vibration from his bed snapped his musings.

Thinking it was only a message from Armin about coming home late, Eren begrudgingly brought his phone to his face. His eyes lazily scanned the screen before … Wait. Was that your name on his notifications? Eren tightly closed his eyes before glaring at his phone again. Yes, it is. That was your username on Instagram.

You followed him.

Eren felt his face burn.

Another notification appeared over the previous one.

You liked one of his photos. Not the old ones where he looked like a scrawny twig ready to fall off if the wind blew too strongly. (Next on the agenda after freaking out over you: delete those god-awful pictures because they never gave his current appearance justice.) You liked the most recent one, a picture of him staring at the camera with the low-tide beach behind him and the golden hour as the best lighting. (Bless Armin for taking the picture and also Mikasa for directing him on how to pose because he couldn’t take a decent picture without their help.)

It was just a little thing but you liking his picture and following him made Eren’s day.

The worry that he may have looked like an idiot accidentally liking your old picture dissipated. He now thanked that stupid moment of double-tapping your picture because even though this was just the most basic gesture between newly-found friends, this was a chance to get closer to you.

He went back to your profile, clicking the follow button almost immediately. Forget looking like a fool, Eren was excited to make one connection with you on social media. Your story then popped up and like a moth drawn to a flame, Eren viewed it. It was a selfie of you in a cafe situated in the university square. You were beside a window, the golden glow of the late afternoon sun framing half of your face in the most picturesque way possible. It got Eren smiling like an idiot, his heart pounding too loudly in his chest. Without thinking, he reacted to your story, thinking that your closest friends probably do that too. He has seen Armin and Jean do it in your stories so why not him?

Probably because Armin and Jean never looked at you like your smile rises and sets with the sun.

This night was probably the most enchanting moment in Eren’s freshman year.

[name]: hey, eren! thank God i finally followed you!

Eren thought he died and had gone to heaven. He waited a couple of minutes before replying, the conversation flowing from the two of you without some setbacks until the afternoon sun turned into the middle of the night. Eren never cared if he had the first period with one of the stricter professors, he finally got to talk to you even if it’s through a screen, in speech bubbles and reaction pictures.

He now knew your favorite season, your favorite TV show, your preferred pet, your favorite food — Eren felt like he won at life.

“I don’t wanna be a third wheel, Horseface,” Eren grumbled one free day during sophomore year. He was stepping outside of his dorm room because of a very annoying Jean Kirchstein very early in the morning. (It was ten in the morning. Sue him for enjoying his sleep.) He closed the door with a resounding bang, stopping for a moment to look around the hallway if anybody would scold him. After a couple of seconds of silence, he talked to the phone, “Again, I don’t want to be a third wheel. You know how awkward that would be?”

“You’re not gonna be a third wheel, asshole,” Jean grumbled through the speaker. Eren rolled his eyes. “Why would you be a third wheel if [Name] invited you to join us? Don’t know what came over her though. I, for sure, don’t want to see your donkey ass face.”

Here’s the thing, you and Jean go way back. Because of you standing up for him after he was getting picked on for being too chubby back in elementary school, the rest was history. At least from what Eren heard from you when you were talking about your childhood with Armin and Sasha. (The latter of the two laughed out loud when you mentioned that detail of Jean being the fluffiest kid ever.) Alongside Marco, you three were tightly knit just like Eren, Armin, and Mikasa. How the three of you act around each other was so similar to their dynamic. Jean always had a reckless streak to him, Marco trailed after him to prevent him from getting hurt in any way, and you made sure that the two are being taken care of — the mother hen of the little group.

So, it was a great surprise that he was standing on your right side instead of Marco.

“I’m sorry for inviting you out of the blue, Eren,” you apologized, head leaning back to fully look him in the eye. There he noticed how you’re so small compared to him. Like the perfect huggable person for him. Okay, now he had to reel his thoughts from ever overstepping that boundary again. “I just remembered that you have a free day as well so I thought why not ask you, too.”

Well, if you put it that way. Eren scratched his nape. “It’s alright. It’s a good thing you invited me. I’d probably die of boredom in our dorm room.”

You lightly laughed before walking inside the huge bookstore outside of campus.

Eren watched your back, walking behind you and Jean. He felt a pinch inside his chest when Jean patted you on the head before pointing at a certain section of the store and walking off with his hands inside his pockets. You waved at the blond, turning your head slightly to invite Eren to walk closer to you. The brunet increased his pace and found his way beside you. He nonchalantly trailed his eyes over the book covers displayed on the center tables of the first floor. “Where’d Horseface go off to?”

You picked one book, flipping it to read the blurb on the back. You hummed before placing the novel back in its original place. “He has to pick some textbooks and novels for Literature. They’re studying classics right now.”

“Oh.” Eren slowly nodded. He followed you around, from the fiction aisle to the nonfiction aisle, until you two were in front of the graphic novel and manga section. He noticed your expression brighten at the array of colorful spines even though you have a couple of books in the crook of your elbow. “You read some manga?”

“Yeah,” you chirped, taking out a vibrant manga and cheering. “Wow, lucky! I’ve always wanted to buy this one but it’s always out of stock.”

He chuckled. Since he was here, might as well indulge and splurge on some volumes. Eren’s eyebrows raised at a certain title. “Never knew they sell these.” He admired the cover before flipping to the spine to see which volume it was. “It’s a later volume, too. Man, I’m not even in this arc in the show.”

“Ooh, that’s the one with the human-eating monsters, right?” You leaned over his side. Eren then shifted his body so that you could see the book in his hand. If someone were to see you two without any context, they would think the two of you were a couple with how close you were to him. Eren acted like this never affected him. He could smell your shampoo and perfume. They were a mix of scents that he never knew he needed — something fruity that’s not too strong but noticeable enough to let him know it was from you. It was like your very presence calmed him down and at the same time made him tingle with nerves. “Oh, look, Eren, they have the first volume here.”

“Yeah?” Eren looked up and followed your finger. “Nice. I’ve been thinking of buying the manga.”

“You should buy it.”

“Well, you should recommend something to accompany this one.” He lifted the first volume while returning the one he picked up earlier.

“Hmm.” You furrowed your eyebrows — it was somewhat your thinking face. “How about we go back to the horror and mystery section. I think you’d love some titles over there!”

Eren snickered. Ever since he mentioned to you that he loved the thrill of horror movies and the anticipation of murder mysteries through your nightly chats, you were recommending all sorts of films to him and he would be lying if he said he didn’t like all of them. “Lead the way, pretty girl.”

The bounce in your step was enough for Eren to follow you. Every time you pick up a book, he would lean over your shoulder, the proximity coloring the tip of his ears with the prettiest shade of carnation.

He thanked his longer hair for covering any evidence of his reaction to you because if it didn’t, Jean would be looking at him at the counter like he knew something and was thinking too much about it. Eren would’ve retorted something along the lines of “stop thinking too much, it would hurt yourself” but all he could do was stare right back at Jean’s judgmental face. But when you turned around to wait for the two boys, that was when Jean took the initiative to say, “And you were bitching about being the third wheel.” He scoffed before paying for his required books. “I should be the one doing that.”

“What are you talking about, Horseface?” Eren hissed. He caught you looking up from your phone, almost as if you had a radar for every time Eren and Jean butted heads. He lowered his voice to not alert you again. “I don’t understand what you’re saying, Kirchstein.”

“Please,” Jean drawled. “You like her, don’t you?”

Eren froze. “O-Of course! Sh-She’s a close friend! She’s Mikasa’s roommate and Armin’s college buddy!”

Jean deadpanned him. “Don’t give me that crap.”

“It’s true!” Again, you looked at the two of them with concern. Eren shook his head. “I like her but not in the way you think.”

Jean was quiet for a while, his expression unreadable as he waited for Eren to finish paying for his books. “But if you do like her in the way that I think, make sure you tell her, blockhead.” He slowly turned his head to Eren. The seriousness he carried caused a chill to run down Eren’s spine. It was rare to see this side of Jean and it almost always surfaced when it came to you. “If you ever realize that you like like her—”

Eren laughed. “What are we, thirteen? Like like her—?”

“I’m not playing, Jaeger. Tell her the moment you realize. I know you won't lose anything when you do.”

“Won’t lose anything?” Eren exclaimed in disbelief, even laughing under his breath. “I value my friendship with her just as much as I value my friendship with you guys. I can’t just—”

“So, you do like her. More than just being friends. More than just a teeny crush.”

Eren paused, eyes searching for a way out by darting his stare on Jean’s blank face. He looked away when he felt like it was too much. It was too early to admit to himself that what he felt for you was more than just infatuation. He hastened his pace towards you, leaving behind a sighing Jean in his heels. He chose not to answer the taller boy’s question because that would mean he admitted it and if he admitted it … then, everything involving you would change. Every single thing you’ll do, Eren will view it as something else. He would look at you with rose-colored glasses, one that was more pigmented than what he was wearing now. He would avoid this whenever Armin brought it up but now that Jean did it, your best friend, he felt like hiding.

So, you do like her.

It was not even a question.

You looked at him with a smile. “Done already?” You adjusted your tote bag over your shoulder.

Eren nodded, seemingly in a trance.

“Great! Where do you want to eat lunch? Any type of food you’re feeling?”

Jean reached you two and side-eyed Eren knowingly.

“Uh, wherever you want to eat, I guess.”

“You sure?” You raised an eyebrow.

Eren nodded again. “I’m sure I’d like it regardless.”

“Okay,” you smiled. “Jean?”

“Somewhere with unlimited ice tea.”

You and Eren slowly stared at the taller male. “That’s oddly specific, Horseface.”

“I didn’t ask for your opinion, blockhead.”

When you finally found a place near the bookstore, the three of you made your way out of the establishment and walked for a couple of minutes. It was only when you ordered for your group inside the chosen restaurant did Jean once again talk to Eren. He was crossing his arms and leaning back on his chair while the brunet was sitting straight with his elbows on the table. “Think about it, Jaeger. I’ve known her for more than ten years and [Name] isn’t the type of person to make the first move. By not doing anything, you’re already losing and missing out on something extraordinary.”

If only Eren followed that advice.

“Here’s to us passing our finals!” Sasha shouted in your booth.

Everyone cheered. It was worthy of a celebration if all of your friends passed (even barely) the final exams. Eren felt proud of himself for doing so, even getting congratulations from his parents back in his hometown. After sleepless nights of revisions and running on caffeine, he felt refreshed at the unlimited iced tea at the Korean barbecue place they agreed on. He was sipping on his beverage while watching his friends take turns grilling the meat. Their table was one of the longest and loudest but he couldn’t blame them for acting this way since everyone never had time to hang out while studying for the exams.

“Man, I really thought I was gonna fail Ackerman’s class,” Connie laughed in relief. “Do you remember when he marked Jean’s paper with so many red corrections that we couldn’t read it anymore in Marco’s apartment?”

Sasha snorted. “He blamed it on the onions. And they weren’t even cut yet.”

Jean choked with red cheeks. “Because it really is!”

You laughed along with your friends, pointing at the sputtering blond. “Oh, no, Jean-boy! You were doing the full-on ‘dishonoring my family and our cow’ speech!”

“One failed assignment was all it took to humble Jean,” Marco snickered.

“Marco!” the subject of the conversation whined.

“I wished his humbling moment lasted,” Mikasa murmured, hitting the bulls-eye.

“Ooh! And that’s coming from Mikasa!” Connie cackled.

“I hate you guys,” Jean grumbled, his hand grazing the grill. “Ah, fuck! … Sasha, that’s my meat! No, give that back!”

“You take too long grilling it. This is mine now!”

“This is not even your side of the table. You should be sharing a grill with Mikasa, Eren, and [Name]!”

“This is charred, by the way.”

“You fucker. Then, give it back if all you do is complain!”

“Nuh-uh. Cry and I might.”

Eren shook his head at the chaos ensuing at your table. There was a point where a piece of meat flew from Jean and Sasha’s chopsticks and Armin had to intervene or else the servers would ask for your group to tone it down.

The brunet placed his glass of iced tea on a coaster and took the tongs to grill another batch of meat and vegetables. Eren glanced at you the moment a plate of wedged potatoes came to your table after Sasha requested them. You let out a little ‘wow’, eyes sparkling at the vegetable. He rolled the sleeves of his sweater and started taking pieces of potato before Sasha finished all of them, grilling them until the grill lines became visible on the surface. One by one, he carefully placed them on your plate. There was now a small pile of potatoes on your portion and when Eren noticed that it was getting too much, he switched to putting small strips of meat instead. As his mother said — a meal should be balanced. His brilliant emerald irises flickered to you to check if he did the delivery successfully, only to be met with your confused (adorable) face. The two of you stared at each other for a moment, you in disbelief while he was expectant for you to start eating.

“Eren, you’re going to give [Nickname] a stomachache.”

Eren reluctantly turned to Mikasa, who was blankly regarding the pile of meat and vegetables on your plate.

“Stop taking everything, Eren!” Sasha complained from beside the black-haired girl.

The brunet could only blink. He swiftly brought his attention back to you. “Is your stomach alright?”

“He’s ignoring me, Mikasa!”

Mikasa sighed. “We’ll just request for more, I guess.”

Her knowing glance was still there as she called for a waiter to put in the needed food. For someone who tended to eat too much and too fast when they were still in middle and high school, it was unexpected for Eren to offer someone what was on the table. He was the type to get his portion way before anyone else (a hoarder), gobbling it down like a vacuum, and coming back for more. This wasn’t the first time Eren got out of his way to give you his snacks and meals. Every time Mikasa caught a glimpse of it, it never failed to bring some suspicions to mind. It seemed like she wasn’t the only one to notice it because Armin just sent her a sly glance.

You lightly laughed. “No, I just think I couldn’t finish all of these.” You picked up a slice of meat with your chopsticks and stuffed it in your mouth. You chewed and swallowed before saying, “But thank you, ‘Ren, I appreciate this.”

Eren sheepishly laughed under his breath. “No problem. I wouldn't want you to run out of meat to eat.”

“What about you, though?”

“Nah, don’t worry about me, pretty girl. I’m just full seeing you eat.”

A snort came from the other end of the table and Eren felt his face burn. He didn’t have to turn to see Jean trying to compose himself while whispering the word simp behind his fist. Eren inwardly rolled his eyes. There’s nothing wrong with being like that, at least in his opinion. He couldn’t help but worry over you in the most minuscule of things. You wanted someone to walk you back to your dorm? No problem, he’s on the way. Do you need someone to be your study buddy for midterms? Eren was right in front of you, willing to ask you questions from your revision notes. You wanted someone to listen to your troubles? He’s the one for the job. Okay, maybe he was being a simp most of the time but that was beside the point. He enjoyed these things he did for you.

And it was the only way where he could express his feelings without looking like a fool to your friends.

“Come on, say ah,” you playfully stated, meat between your chopsticks and in front of his mouth.

Eren now felt the warmth on his cheeks travel towards his ears and neck. “Y-You don’t have to.”

“I insist. You’ve been grilling since we sat down. It’s the least I could do for our resident grillmaster.”

He stared at your hand, which is much smaller than his. Everything about you was leagues smaller than him and he wanted to wrap you in his arms and never let go. His eyes then trailed over to your smiling face. God, that smile could be the death of him. It was just making his heart race out of his chest until he felt numb from the feeling and the butterflies invigorate it once more to do it all over again. It was a never-ending cycle that revolved around you. He knew that everyone on the table was watching with expectant grins, having pointed out that you two acted like a couple without being one. So, Eren braved himself to wrap his wrist around yours, guiding your hand to successfully feed him the meat he grilled for you. For some reason, it was more delicious than the previous ones he ate. While he was chewing, he looked at you under his eyelashes, mesmerized at how close you were to him.

If only you two were alone right now.

He badly wanted to kiss you breathless and senseless until you two are the only people on earth.

“Wow, I feel so single right now.”

Connie’s dry declaration snapped you two out of your trance.

“Connie, you idiot! You ruined it,” Armin hissed.

“What?” Connie looked around and found blank stares directed at him. “Oh, come on, don’t tell me I’m the only one who felt single while looking at those two.”

Mikasa clicked her tongue. “I’m going to throttle you if you say one more word.”

“What?! Why?”

“Connie, this is why you’re single,” Jean muttered.

“Why are you ganging up on me now?!”

Sasha shook her head. “You just make it so easy.”

“I hate you guys!”

Eren glanced at you from the corners of his eyes, face still burning from the recent moment. Your hair was covering most of your side profile so he couldn’t see your reaction at all. Were you wary of him now? That was a close call. He was thinking about kissing you out of nowhere. He was such an idiot to think of you like that. The moment his brain conjured certain images of you, he would put a stop to it because he knew he was more than that. It was basic human decency. It would be awkward facing you after dreaming about you under him on his bed, your face the epitome of beauty in every angle. He wanted to say sorry for crossing the line but you tucked your hair behind your ear, giving him a clear view of your flustered expression.

It made him see stars.

Who knew he wasn’t the only one affected… Eren thought it was probably because of Connie’s statement. He instantly deflated at the thought.

Eren went back to eating his portion of the meat, which was not that many because Sasha gobbled them all. While he was picking at his rice with half-lidded eyes, a pair of chopsticks appeared on his plate, dropping a piece of potato and a strip of meat. He looked up with bright eyes at the view of you giving him a pulchritudinous smile.

“That’s me returning the favor, ‘Ren,” you told him before going back to eating and joining in a conversation.

Without thinking much, Eren wiped his hands on a napkin and reached down to the first compartment of his bag. He turned to face you and gently gathered your hair in a low ponytail. Yes, it was adorable seeing you tucking your hair to eat comfortably but it looked like it bothered you since you couldn’t duck down that much.

As Eren looped your locks through the extra hair tie he carried around just in case he lost his current one, he missed the way your eyes sparkled while letting him tidy up your hair. He didn’t know that his soft hands sent a flurry of spring blossoms inside your chest and it ought to stay that way with all this dancing-around you two were doing. So, when Eren straightened in his seat, the only thing he could make out from your face was gratitude in the form of a wide smile, he didn’t see the flash of affection passing like a comet within your irises. He didn’t notice Mikasa giving you a playful smirk, with your reply as a glare.

Eren was stuck in his little world because all he could think of was that it even hurts just to touch your hair.

Eren plays every single moment he has with you inside the karaoke room.

Despite the flashing lights, the dim setting, the video on the huge screen in front of your group, all Eren can focus on is your effervescent figure jumping up and down to the beat of the current song. The microphone is snug in your hold, your face in a permanent smile as you belt out the notes that got the rest of your friend group cheering. Sasha and Connie act like they’re your backup dancers while Mikasa films your performance with a fond look on her usually stoic face. Armin also has his phone out, acting as your cameraman, ready to put everything in his social media posts; Marco is cheering for you like how a proud mother does to her favorite child; and Jean is in possession of the other microphone, your other half in every karaoke night-out.

There are so many things happening at once but Eren never looks away from you.

A lot of things have changed after graduation. His hair (he chopped everything off), everyone having stable jobs, some of their friends finding potential life-long partners, his outlook in life — they’re just several things Eren can list. One thing never changes and it’s his way of seeing you differently from anyone else and the hope that one day you might see him the same way.

Once again, he’s transported to a very different scenario.

“I didn’t know you could sing,” he said in a way of greeting while entering your dorm room, a place that has seen so many memories play out within its four walls.

There were moments where Eren felt brave for some reason, risking the reveal of his feelings to get a daily dose of you. One of these moments was when he discovered you have a heavenly voice. In his hands were take-outs from your favorite restaurant in the university square. Eren thought that since Mikasa was out most of the week for her internship, he would take on the role of being your unofficial roomie, always bringing you food when you overwork yourself to burnout and letting you vent to the point of crying on his shoulder. A small voice told him that this was what boyfriends do and it never failed to make his heart flutter.

For now, he was holding onto these moments and pretending that he really was your boyfriend and he was taking care of you like how boyfriends do.

You were on your bed, looking up from burning your eyes with your iPad, and exhaustedly smiled at the sight of him. You opened your arms, the sleeves of your oversized wooly cardigan covering your hands.

Eren swooned at the image in front of him. He placed the paper bags of food on your desk and pulled you in a hug. “Damn, you’re shivering, pretty girl.” The nickname stuck and he wouldn’t have it any other way. He looked down at you while you stared up at him with your chin on his abdomen.

“I was too lazy to adjust the air conditioner,” you muttered before burying your face in his shirt.

The brunet breathed an endeared laugh, lifting a hand to pat the crown of your head. (Like boyfriends do.) “Let me adjust it for you. You’re already working hard enough as it is.”

“You’re the best, ‘Ren,” you told him and it went directly to his heart.

When the air conditioner was in the right setting and you were happily munching on the food he brought for you, Eren brought it up again. “I didn’t know you can sing,” he voiced out through a mouthful of his food. You looked up from stuffing your face with something that wasn’t instant ramen or convenience-store meals. Eren snorted at your puff-up cheeks, gulping down his food before wiping some sauce at the corner of your mouth.

You hummed as thanks. You slightly looked down to not meet Eren’s gaze. There’s always something about his eyes that makes your heart race. That would be a question for another time. You took a deep breath, laughing lightly while taking a piece of gyoza from his take-out. He let you. “You never asked.”

“Now, I am. Who else knows?”

“Miki caught me singing once and she asked me to sing something for her. She said something about my voice helping her fall asleep.”

Cue the many times Eren was jealous of Mikasa when it came to you. “Well, I understand why Meeks likes your voice, pretty girl. It’s beautiful as you.”

Time stood still as you two stared at each other, both of you sporting flustered expressions that one might think that you two are fumbling middle-schoolers with their first crush. Eren never forgot that night because your eyes were sparkling with something that he couldn’t pinpoint. Nonetheless, it sent his heart racing. He remembered how you stuttered your thanks, opting to stuff your face with your food again. Once Eren got out of his trance, he only smiled at you with that besotted look he has whenever you’re around and scooted closer to you. Even if you two ate in silence, he couldn’t ask for anything more.

And as you twirl under the disco lights of the karaoke room, he’s reminded that this love story of his is him being in the front-row seat and you’re the brightest star of the night.

Eren closes his eyes and pretends he has the courage worthy of a chivalric deed.

He pretends that when you sit beside him after singing your song, he gently holds your wrist and pulls you close so that he can whisper, “I have to talk to you.” He pretends while your dulcet voice consumes him that you stare up at him confused while he stands up with you in tow and you’re asking, “What’s happening, ‘Ren? Where are you taking me?” Eren runs his hand through his short hair and pretends that you two got out of the karaoke place and he’s standing in front of you, admiring how beautiful you look tonight. His throat clogs up and he tries so hard to voice out his emotions through all the daffodils rooting themselves inside him. You wait for him with that pulchritudinous smile of yours that got him swooning, “It’s okay, ‘Ren, take your time.” Then, he opens his mouth to say the words he’s kept hidden for more than four years and your eyes would carry a thousand stars.

“I love you.”

Eren tightly closes his eyes, missing how you’re longingly yearning for him from across the karaoke room, the song reaching its last chorus.

Mikasa notices you trailing off, letting Jean take the lead in the song with Armin under his arm and Marco taking the role of cameraman — the three laughing their asses off. Mikasa’s heart breaks at the look on your face. Now, she knows why you picked this song. It was weird at first and she chose to brush this off. Now it makes sense.

You’re saying goodbye.

Mikasa follows your eyes and she’s greeted with the sight of Eren with his eyes closed, isolated from the fun. She feels pity wash over her, something that she has no control over. It was him you’re crying over that Mikasa had to hug you to sleep. It was him that you talked to her about with your beautiful smile. It was him you wished to bake cookies and pastries with on a spring day. Eren doesn’t know how lucky of a bastard he is that he caught the attention of the most brilliant girl to exist on the planet. Mikasa curses, “You fucking idiot, Eren.” She then watches you look away with teary eyes and it hurts her seeing you pretend everything is okay.

You plaster a huge smile on your face, the last chorus now colored with your voice.

It’s bittersweet because the moment you turn to your friends, Eren opens his eyes, misty with all the pretending he did in his mind.

He takes one look at you.

You never once look back at him.

You’re not Eren’s soulmate. It squeezes his chest in the most hurtful way possible but he’s slowly accepting it. Maybe if he chose to show his emotions in a completely different way, all this pretending wouldn’t even happen. Maybe if this were in a different worldline, he’d be brave enough to shout out that he loves you so much that it hurts just reaching out to tug on your hair. Maybe if he really did pull you out of the karaoke place to confess … Eren stopped the scenario in his head when it’s your turn to say something. He doesn’t want to know your reply and he won’t ever subject himself to hurt just overthinking about it.

Because one thing remains true even if this one-man show ends, you’re so beautiful and Eren will always be a part of the audience.

So, as you sing out the last note of the song, Eren says goodbye.

And it feels like Fate is mocking him because you look even more beautiful tonight.

general taglist (angst):

@bratckerman @tenaciouswritersheep @sweetheart-syndrome @galactict3a

general taglist form

#eren jaeger x y/n #eren jaeger x reader #eren x reader #attack on titan imagines #aot x reader

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bluejohsai · 3 years

Text

heaven and hell aren't that far apart ― attack on titan ft. f!reader

warnings: spoilers of squid game, violence, mentions of gore and blood, mentions of human trafficking, mentions of harassment, debt, gambling, major character death, angst (no comfort)

summary: attack on titan characters play in a life-or-death game with you. will you prioritize the relationships you made with these people or the family that's waiting for you back home? will you throw their lives away for millions of dollars?

notes: after suffering through the popular series called squid game, i thought why not make a headcanon list about it? a huge thank you for the anons who told me that levi can play as the detective, you are the absolute best. i'm not romanticizing the series, God knows how many times i became speechless every time there's a game in the episodes. i just thought this will be a perfect opportunity to make an au out of it. ^^ also, i'm going to add characters who you don't expect solely because of the plot. there might be characters who you love that won't make an appearance in this hc list. oh, and i kinda went off track with mikasa's lmao just don't mind me showing my love for that woman. THIS IS LONG, OKAY? that being said, enjoy !!

― [name] [last name] ; player 356

a college student who's barely getting by.

you lost your scholarship the moment your senior year in university rolls in ― the reason being your father's illness. you spent the majority of your junior year slacking off since that was the time when he collapsed in your home because of heart failure. you had to ride back to your hometown with your last savings just to take care of him, causing a majority of your grades to plummet to the point that extra credit couldn't help. not only that, your mother left your father right after he announced that he might have little time left to live, that he's getting broke and in a lot of debt. you were only twelve years old at that time, your younger sibling being two. that was the time you promised to yourself that you carry everything on your shoulders no matter how young you are.

now, in your early twenties, you're being sued for unpaid bills by your father's doctor and you're so tempted to drop out of university.

one time after coming home from university, you're being followed by the people your father owed a debt to. with your heart pounding and phone battery empty, you hasten your pace with tight grips on the straps of your backpack. once you spot a convenience store sign up ahead, you instantly seek refuge in the many aisles of junk food and beverages, waiting for the debt collectors to search another place. during your wait, you borrow someone's phone to call your boyfriend, only for him to never pick it up, his voicemail reminding you that he's attending a foreign university event the whole month. your peaceful minutes of hiding don't last. the debt collectors find you and drag you out of the convenience store, the person at the counter gawking at how one of the unknown men grasps your hair with all his strength. they gang up on you in the alley beside the establishment. you can only cry with your head raised to the starless sky as they manhandle you into paying, their hands on your throat scalding and their words piercing your weak resolve.

with bruises painting your skin like the flowers you give your father every time you visited him in the hospital, you head over to the subway. you brush off the bewildered stares other people are throwing at you. spots of blood on your shirt from your broken nose, coat torn at the sleeves, hair in disarray, and vacant stare ― you're the main attraction of the subway. you want to cry but you choose to bite your lip to prevent your soft sobs.

it's until you're sitting on one of the benches, waiting for your train, that you hear a―

"i see that you are also a troubled individual. hey, if you say yes to this game i'm proposing, there will be a promising amount of money given to you. so, what's your answer, [name] [last name]? will you accept this card?"

― mikasa ackerman ; player 067

the player who saved your life during red light, green light.

after becoming an orphan from a gang riot more than ten years ago, she accepted the invitation of going to this survival game to take revenge on her so-called guardian whose gang murdered her parents and little brother in the middle of the night. to her surprise, when all of the players gather around the huge sleeping area, the sight of kenny the ripper walking towards her direction becomes her welcome to this shithole. again, surprises keep coming her way as you shout for kenny to stop hurting her. dread fills in her veins when she sees kenny glowering at you to continue defending her. mikasa pushes you out of the way, bluntly telling you to stay out of her fight.

player 067 glares down at you with sharp glacial eyes, rendering you speechless. "stop meddling in fights that don't involve you. i don't need your help or anyone's help." the change in your expression makes her blink. you're telling her with your furrowed brows and small frown that she doesn't deserve this pointless beating. 067 scoffs, turning around with her hands in her pockets. "who are you to help me anyway?"

it just so happened that in red light, green light, you trip on a limp arm while the time is running out. however, you never meet the sandy ground, a hand gripping the back of your jacket. you don't risk looking back but as you cross the white line, you want to thank your saviour, your smile dissipating upon meeting the blank mien of player 067. no words are needed. the astonished look on your face says it all. so, 067 walks away from you for the second time of the day.

after you snap out of your trance, you follow her until all of you survivors reach the sleeping quarters. your words of gratitude might seem to fall on deaf ears but player 067 still listens. she doesn't bother replying because it won't change anything. yes, she saved your ass but she wants you to stop thanking her when you're one of the people she's going to kill for the piggy bank dangling above your heads.

you thought that's your last meeting with player 067.

you never expect your father to collapse once again when you came home, his heart once again failing. you also got a visit from the social services to have your little sibling placed in the city's orphanage since your father is not suitable to take care of him, plus, your finances are hitting the deepest parts of a trench. with the decision of coming back, you once again encounter player 067 in the most cliche scenario ― you bump into her while going back to your bunk with your dinner in hand.

you invite her to join you. only after you surmise that she's not going to say 'yes' did you notice her towering figure closely following you. her footsteps are silent, as if she's stalking her prey ― you. but that's not the case. 067 is just raised that way. most of the time, she sports an expressionless face but you're slowly getting used to it even after one night. she scoots further away from you when a brown-haired girl sits beside you with the most pleasant smile on a place labelled as hell. 067 watches you and the new girl interact like the best of friends, with the black-haired girl keeping quiet as she munches on her fried egg and boiled vegetables.

even though she doesn't trust anyone yet, it won't hurt to have allies in this place.

so, she asks for you to accompany her to the toilets because she has to take a huge shit right after lights out and she needs someone to hold the toilet paper roll. you choke on your saliva. 067 narrows her eyes at your hesitance, finding this as a mistake. with a roll of her eyes, she walks to the door with those soundless footsteps of hers. however, she nearly jumps when you appear next to her.

"just so you know, i was going to say yes," you casually tell her while going to the toilets after a square game guard permitted you. your smile is genuine as you look up to her. "you didn't let me finish. who asks someone to hold toilet paper to them while taking a shit anyway?"

you swear you see player 067 quirking a small smirk.

upon arriving in the toilets, 067 immediately goes to work ― unscrewing the vents so that she can spy on the guards. she tells you that it will give you both a clue on what the next game is. while she's finding herself becoming baffled at how the guards keep melting pots of sugar, you're trying to distract the guard who keeps pounding on the door of the toilets with the butt of their gun.

"sugar."

you turn to 067 during breakfast.

"they're melting sugar." she looks at you dead in the eye. "do you know any game that involves sugar?"

your mind becomes blank, your hold on your uneaten bread slacking. when you feel your brunette friend sidling up closer to you, you tighten your hold on your breakfast. "no, i don't think so." 067 leans down to let you whisper in her ear. "is that really what you saw last night?"

player 067 nods.

"hmm. strange. let's figure it out along the way, okay? why don't you eat your breakfast for some energy, yeah?"

she follows your words and nibbles on her bread.

you look down on your bread, tearing apart a piece. a small roll of paper catches your eye. without anything surfacing on your face, you slowly pull out the small piece of paper and read its content. with a small sparkle in your eye, you tug on 067's sleeve. she leans towards you again, gunmetal blues flickering as you murmur, "honeycombs."

starting that day, 067 follows you more and more. even if your group starts gaining numbers, she never leaves your side.

during the lights-out riots, the first instinct zapping through her is to find you and make sure you're safe from any threat. as she gets out of kenny's murderous hands, she finds you swinging a thin beam of metal. she knows you're capable of protecting yourself but something is whispering in her mind, telling her to pull you in the direction of the bunk beds.

she lets you lean on her shoulder after the riot stopped, her hands awkwardly rubbing on your shaking arms. you're the most warmhearted person in this game, God forbid if anything happens to you, she'll go berserk. she offers to stay with you during your turn in keeping watch during lights-out and there you two share things that deepen your relationship.

"what made you join here, 067?"

"mikasa."

"what?"

mikasa lifts her head to give you a small smile. "that's my name. mikasa ackerman."

you return the smile with that pretty one that always makes her eyes widen. "that's such a pretty name. mikasa." you test it out. mikasa thanks the darkness for concealing her warm face. you give her yours and she mimics the action of repeating the syllables of your name. you giggle before echoing your question. "why did you join this game, mikasa?"

she pensively looks away. "to best my guardian, i guess. i got some debts here and there, but that's about it. after my family died, i'm just living my life the way kenny wants it to be ― to be a part of his gang. i hate him." she puts her chin on her arm. "i want to be free from that life so i joined this hellhole. money brings you happiness, you know? so i said fuck it and accepted the invitation that blonde woman gave me." mikasa glances at you. "what about you, firecracker?"

you laugh at the nickname. she started calling you that after witnessing you mindlessly swinging a metal beam at nothing in particular. "i joined because my dad needed the money."

"your dad?"

you nod. "he's ... sick. he had heart surgery last year but his disease came back a few months ago. he got kicked out of the hospital because we couldn't afford the bills and medication. that hospital sued us and now we're barely breathing with all this debt. i ..." you take a deep breath to prevent yourself from tearing up. "i lost my scholarship because of that, which is the only thing paying my tuition and letting me have a future that can save my dad. plus, the social services are forcing us to put my sister in the orphanage because we don't have the capabilities of caring for her. i'm just so tired, mikasa." your voice wavers, a tear dripping on your cheek as you bury your face in your knees, mikasa's gentle touch on your head anchoring you to the earth.

there mikasa realizes that you're doing this for your family. you have some people waiting for you while there's nothing out there in the world for her but the police tracking her down. she vows that she will do everything to let you win this game. you're literally an angel who lost herself in the coldest pits of hell and mikasa will do anything to bring you back to the surface.

― eren jeager ; square

your boyfriend who's out of the country for one month.

or so you thought.

you know him throughout your life at paradis university. it was purely by chance how you two met but eren felt a pull towards you after your first meeting, getting lost in those wholesome smiles you give him. he knows about your familial situation and he offered so many times to help you but you respectfully decline. you always told him that you want to pay off your father's debt and hospital bills through your own efforts and he understands that. but the look on your face every morning unsettles him. you look so gaunt and lifeless that he feels so guilty of just watching you from the sidelines. yes, he's your boyfriend but your relationship is just you worrying over every little thing about him when he should be the one doting on you and caring for you. this man loves you so much that he sometimes anonymously pays your father's hospital bills, keeping it quiet for fear of you breaking up with him. but he has his limits, he's not made of cash after all. he's only leeching off of his half-brother.

the last thing he wants is for you to leave him behind. he admits he's being selfish but as long as he has his heaven by his side, he's sure that he can survive a lifetime in hell.

imagine his surprise when he sees you in the crowd of people participating in these life-threatening games, his mask hiding his wide eyes, parted lips, and the urge to vomit. you, the most beautiful thing on earth, staring at the piggy bank holding millions of dollars at the moment with a determined look on your face. it hurts him. eren has every chance to help you but he chooses to let your suffering fester until you have no choice but to be one of the horses the v.i.p.s are bidding on. he closes his eyes for a moment, willing to let you disappear as if this is a fever dream, but you're still there. oh God, you're really there. and it's his fault.

as his role of having a square on his mask, he holds the command over the other shapes. that fact he's thankful for.

eren knows about the games beforehand, seeing as he's assigned as the announcer for this year's games.

he watches you behind his mask, narrowing his eyes when you're with that black-haired young woman every time he enters the sleeping quarters. he clenches his teeth when he sees that bastard of a man with a long face tries to flirt with you. at times, eren panics when you flicker your gaze in his direction, your questioning gaze too calculating for his heart to take. who knows what you'll think if you discover that he's one of the game guards stationed in commanding the triangles to shoot the weaklings. will you look at him differently? will you break up with him? anything but that. eren can handle you sulking for days but just the thought of losing you chills his veins.

this spurs eren to make the system unfair by favoring you over the others. he slips little notes in your food about the games or the riots, pulling strings behind the spectacle to keep you alive. even if he has to kill off one of his coworkers to change his masks, he will do it in a heartbeat. he will make sure you win that prize money and live a luxurious life fitting for a person like you.

in fact, he's the square guard that you asked permission to use the toilet in the middle of the night, with that blank-faced woman no less. at first, he's suspicious that you're going in there with someone else but he trusts you so he lets you do your business. at the small distance between you and him, eren held everything back from holding you and cradling you close to his chest. all he wants is to graduate from university with you, buy a house, and start jobs that settle you two down in a domestic lifestyle. heck, he's willing to have children with you. but as he stared down at you that night, he bit his lip before speaking our his feelings. instead, he said that it's okay for you to do whatever you want in the toilets, a longing gaze targeted on your retreating back.

two words: the riot.

that nearly causes his mask to break.

the doors open and eren walks with his head empty except for you. he doesn't care about the dead bodies unless it's you. he has to find you because why the hell would you disregard what he wrote inside your dinner. you should be alive and breathing and intact ... and definitely shaking with your head buried on player 067's neck. his coworkers are curiously looking at him but he doesn't pay them any mind because all eren sees is you.

you feel mikasa's hand tighten around your arm, causing you to look up to a square masked guard standing idly in front of you. even your brunette friend and little group gawk at the highest-ranking staff who's rendered speechless at the sight of you. you flinch at the unyielding person, possibly staring at you, but you never look away from him. the next thing the game guard does stuns you ― his right hand unconsciously rubbing brushing the inside of his left wrist before turning around to signal the others to bring in the bowed coffins. you instantly stand up with a shocked visage because that game guard did not just make your boyfriend's nervous tick ― rubbing his left wrist, which has a simple bracelet with your initials as pendants. your group of allies is asking you what's wrong but all you can see is the back of that square-masked game guard who looks back at you with a small inconspicuous gesture that lays out everything.

that game guard holds out his pinkie in a silent promise to keep you safe.

now you understand why eren disappeared on you without any word but a short message of going on a random university event.

― sasha blouse ; player 151

your first friend in the games.

this girl immediately latches on you the first day of the games.

you're taken aback by such enthusiasm but you're not unwelcome by it. you're rather grateful that there's still bright and bubbly that can keep you sane in this place. you timidly call her by her player number, to which she brushes off with a light laugh.

"call me sasha!" sasha beams with her hands on her hips, chest puffing out in confidence. you blink a few times before laughing at her exuberance. sasha's a ball of sunshine and you unconsciously think that she doesn't belong in this place. she tilts her head at you and you're reminded of that puppy your little sister found on the street back when you were in high school. "what's your name?" you tell her and she brightens even more. "that's so pretty! it fits you so much. well," she holds out her hand expectantly, "i believe you have yourself a friend. nice to meet you, [name]. please take care of me!"

sasha entered the games because somebody approached her after going out of the police station. she tells you this when you came back to the games. she relays how the first body she saw was the corpse of her mother lying on a puddle of blood on the kitchen floor. chills run down your spine at her next words. sasha didn't hesitate from taking one of the discarded knives on the floor, pushing her father away from her dead mother, and proceeded to continuously stab him while his screams echo into the neighbourhood. she was arrested on the spot. she tells this story to you with a smile on her face, almost as if anything that happened in her life is pushed back and she only focuses on surviving the games. you thank her for sharing that part of her life.

"when we get out of these games together, promise me we'll have a girls' night out," sasha casually states while the tension rises after kenny stole another player's share. you're sitting with a stiff posture, player 067 beside you on high alert that kenny might come stomping in your direction to pick an uncalled fight. still, sasha eats her boiled egg with gusto. "us three can travel around the world with that money. we can go wherever we like. you can bring your little sister and you," she points at the blank-faced player who looks unamused at the idea, "can let loose for once."

you have no heart to tell sasha that getting out of the games with multiple players seems to be an unreachable thing but you smile at her suggestion. "that sounds like an amazing idea. we can drink those mojitos and go visit the maldives! just like what they portray in hollywood movies. what do you say, player 067? sounds like fun, right?"

067 looks at you for a moment before nodding slowly. sasha grins.

"that settles it! we'll go to the maldives for our girls night out."

"hey, let us join, too," another player in your little ally group chimes in.

sasha grimaces. "like hell we want to invite you, jean!"

you and mikasa have this silent pact of holding back sasha when the food is distributed. this girl can eat anything in a three-meter radius so every time it's her turn, her hands are itching to take another share for herself. you make sure you're behind her to hold her wrist in a vice grip as she reaches for another boiled egg or bread. you apologize to the person behind you for taking too long, pulling sasha behind you to where your little group is waiting. after witnessing kenny beat the whining player to death, sasha never once reaches out for another meal. since the beginning, you're the one supplying her with her extra portions, sliding your food to her after taking out the piece of paper wedged between. despite knowing her for a couple of days, you conclude that sasha has a vacuum for a stomach.

she has amazing senses. this girl always knows when something goes wrong. she heard mikasa crawling inside the vents while spying on the guards. she heard you two whispering about something regarding the second game. also, she heard a gunshot ringing out from somewhere in the compound when it's her turn taking watch in the middle of the night. there are surely no games happening, right? but as the alarms blared a few minutes after that gunshot, sasha's instincts of brewing danger are pulsating even more throughout the night.

if mikasa swore to protect you, you chose to protect sasha in little ways. you fought for her to be in your team for the tug of war because you're so sure that she's an asset to the team. you gave her tips during the honeycomb game. you let her hide behind you during red light, green light. she's so radiant that it hurts just looking at her. but as every luminary, they have to dim. losing her light came in the form of the marble game, where she asks you to be her partner because she knows you two will win it. as much as mikasa wants you as her partner, you honor sasha's request by shaking the brunette's hand. mikasa huffs and finds another person to pair up with, a player from your team named armin, and you promise her that you will work with her in the next game.

but as the game guard leads you through a maze of houses, all your confidence before turns into dread as you turn to sasha, whose smile disappears for the first time during all of the games.

"thank you for being my best friend and for always protecting me. win this and live the beautiful life you deserve, okay?"

― levi ackerman ; the detective

the one who followed you at midnight to get some clues on his lost siblings.

levi ackerman is considered to be the best detective in your city. he was commended for his performance every time he's on the field. he solves every case he got except for one. levi never knew what was behind the kidnapping of his siblings, farlan and isabel. their disappearance happened several years ago and while people were alarmed that there has been an increase in human trafficking, the police were lousy enough to turn this case cold. he begged for his higher-ups to continue the case but since there wasn't much evidence regarding the kidnapping of farlan church and isabel magnolia so the police department had no choice but to close it. that case plagues levi's mind to this day, that was until he met you.

you look like shit, that much levi can pinpoint.

he's sipping on his morning tea in his desk, listening in to your rambles of a mysterious game where it kills people without remorse. you are talking about how there's a life-size doll who scans people's movements and snipers shooting people if they move. it's absurd. that kind of story only unravels in a television show, never in real life. levi's curiosity turns into dust as he drowns out your frantic voice with the constant thrum of early city mornings.

"a blonde woman was giving out cards in the subway," you plead, hands running through your hair in distress. your clothes are thrown on you haphazardly and the policemen in front of you immediately thought that you had a rough night inside the club because what you're spewing doesn't sound like a sober person might say. "i have her card with me. i'm speaking the truth." you pat your jeans until you take out your wallet, the little brown card making your breath hitch. you hastily hand it over to the policeman. "here. there's a number at the back. they will immediately answer if you dial it." still, the policeman keeps snickering at you. "please." you try again. "just help me investigate this, sir. i beg you. lives are on the line if you don't do this."

"i think you had too much to drink, young lady," the policeman laughs. "i'll wager that you're hungover. booze can alter your dreams into reality, you know?" your glare appears and the policeman chuckles nervously. "okay, okay, i'm calling the number now." he inputs the number on the telephone and waits for the other person to pick up. after three rings, silence greets the policeman. you whisper the things that he needed to say, "uh, i'm calling because i want to play a game."

everything backfires. the person who answered the call was a woman screaming that the policeman was a complete pervert for calling her asking for games. it seems like the policeman pressed the number wrongly, brushing it off as you pulling off a prank in the police station. while you begrudgingly go out of the sliding doors of the station, levi stands up from his seat and inquires about your situation.

"oh? does mr. ackerman have a taste for younger women?" the policeman teases, his voice lilting annoyingly.

"cut the bullshit," levi snaps. "what was that woman here for?"

the policeman hums before laughing lightly. "something about games and dolls. just the random drunk stories, most likely. why?"

levi keeps quiet for a moment, gaze pensive as he stares at the brown card you left behind. his fist clenches at the familiar brown card, the shapes mocking him to pick it up. so, he did. levi pockets the card and doesn't answer his colleague, catching up to you outside of the police station. you're murmuring things about hating policemen as he stands behind you. he opens his mouth to interrupt your rant, "hello, excuse me. i'm detective levi ackerman. can you tell me more about what you told my colleagues?"

you proceed to tell levi everything you experienced so far, with him keeping an impassive facade that reminds you so much of a certain player in the game. you thought he's going to help you investigate this case but he wordlessly walks away after you reveal everything to him. bowing his head as thanks for your time. thinking that the police chooses to brush this situation off their shoulders, you feel as if all hope is lost. yes, you figured that they are incompetent and lousy when it comes to doing their job but you never expected them to put this aside. so, you go back home, only to find your father on the living room floor and your sister nowhere to be found.

that night, levi stays true to his judgment of investigating this case because he feels that your situation is somewhat connected to the disappearance of his family. he narrows his eyes at your standing form a few meters ahead of his parked car, cautiously waiting until a white van comes into view with its door open to invite you in. the whole thing flashes red flags in levi's head. he revs his engine and slowly follows the white van carrying you, watching with hawk eyes how the vehicle keeps on picking up random people on the street. he doesn't know that they're players of the game just like you are. as the moon remains high in the sky, levi sees that your white van is not the only one going in a certain direction. all this secret mission of his leads him to the port with a trail of white vans heading to a large ship.

taking his badge and gun with him, levi drops down and clings at the bottom of the last white van, praying that this will ultimately reveal why his family disappeared for days. or better, praying that levi finds his missing family in wherever this ship sails to.

what he will discover on this mysterious destination will throw him off though.

― hange zoe ; player 136

the doctor that you trust.

mikasa warned you beforehand that player 136 isn't right in the head after expressing how exciting it is to witness so many dead bodies in one game. she latched on your arm and whispered into your ear that you shouldn't trust privileged people who wormed their way into the games. you always heard player 136 bragging about how they're a well-known doctor so it doesn't add up that they're in this game. it was then that you discovered that they're fired by the hospital they're working at after receiving an alert that player 136 participated in money embezzlement. they're recruited by player 218 into your group for tug of war and after hearing them assuring you that you can rely on them, it's settled that they're a part of your little ally group.

being a doctor in the outside world, player 136 is assigned to be the dissector of alive bodies every night. however, they rejected the offer of getting clues on the games because it seemed unfair to those who are in the dark and not given the opportunity to work with the game guards. that's when you know they're trusted ― for telling you the truth behind their nighttime disappearances. they don't hide any details. instead, they willingly tell you the conversation circulating during those operations. after hearing a story that the game guards harassed a barely-breathing body minutes before they arrived for the operation, you vomited your dinner. mikasa glares at player 136 for eliciting such a reaction from you, all the while feeling the urge to vomit as well. it's not only the place that's so disgusting, the workers are the real devils as well.

having player 136 in your team screams advantage throughout the contest. just the presence of a person who specializes in mending people's wounds sets a wave of relief in your little group.

you only know their name when player 218 mentions it during the marbles game since he asks them to be his partner. they refuse, however. it seems like they both know each other all this time. now that you think about it, player 218 only ever converses with the silent player 199 and animated player 136, the latter being called hange. you find it to be a pretty name and you wish you could've talked to them a little bit more.

the only time you directly talked to hange was when they treated your hands after the tug of war. their hands are so gentle as they run over a wet towel over your wounded skin and you find yourself dozing off. it's only when they speak that you regain your consciousness. they ask you about your reason for entering the games since it looks like you're one of the so-called kindhearted people in this godforsaken place. you relay to her everything you told mikasa and sasha and suddenly recognition sparkles in hange's eyes. the look on her face is something that you can never forget. it's a mixture of horror and astonishment at the same time. you wonder why they acted that way. it's before the game of marbles that they look back at you with saddened eyes, their words chilling your body.

"i'm sorry for putting you in this mess. i didn't mean to kick your father out of the hospital that day. i remember seeing you in the hallway of the hospital begging for the nurses to stop rolling your father's wheelchair. i'm sorry that i don't feel remorse at that time even though you sound so broken and desperate. i'm also so sorry for suing your family. i hope you don't forgive me, 356."

― jean kirschtein ; player 097

the boy who asked you out during freshman year in university.

poor him. he's trying so hard to woo you despite having a death sentence hanging over his head by participating in these games. it's a good thing that eren is not here to watch jean shamelessly flirt with you every chance he gets. the only time he stops is when mikasa steps in front of you with a glower on her face, expression silently screaming for the ash blonde to stop embarrassing himself. you faintly remember how eren grumbles at you about this guy since you started dating, saying along the lines of trusting you at the same time never trusting anybody who lingers too long in your presence. after rejecting jean on freshman year, he stopped pursuing you until now. fuck these games. you already have a problem with death, now life has added another piece of suffering for you to worry about.

jean seems reliable and physically strong enough to carry the team on his shoulders, given the fact that he's well-built with lean muscles and tall stature. he's the one who brought armin to your little circle, his arm around the shorter male's shoulders with an easygoing grin, much to the blonde's dismay.

mikasa never trusts anyone and it flares even more around jean.

you try to reason with jean that if he wants to be inside your little group, he has to prove that he's trustworthy enough to keep playing with all of you. you want to prevent mikasa from lashing out at him to the utmost of your abilities. so, he did. jean is an expert on weighing people in his mind, being a psychology major. he scans a person's mannerisms and micro-expressions and report them to you to find out who's the real threat. he's the one who told you to keep your guard up with player 218, something that doesn't even cross your mind until the very last minute. he deems armin as a friend because the blonde was showing some signs of nervousness all throughout the first two games and that all armin's words seem genuine. but this isn't enough for you and mikasa. people like jean tend to lie more if given the chance. people from his major can use their knowledge to their advantage as worm their way in an intricately woven group just to sabotage them.

it's during the riots of the lights-out did he slowly gains your trust.

he saves you from being strangled by an unknown player before mikasa finds you, ripping your attacker from you to pull you to the intact bunk beds. he pats your figure with frantic hands, eyes flashing with panic every beating second. his hands are shaking yet they firmly hold you at arms-length. he asks you, "are you alright? are there any more wounds that i failed to check? fuck, everything is just plain bullshit right now. just stay close to me, okay?" jean places his hand on your cheek to bring you back to reality because you look shaken up by the incident. "hey, stay with me, alright? god damn it!" his outburst causes you to flinch. he apologizes soon after. "i want to find that motherfucker who attacked you, princess. i want to teach them a lesson for laying their hands on you like that."

he throws you a metal beam when you two got separated because a player got a hold of his jacket.

at this point, nobody is safe during the riots. even if nobody holds a grudge against you, you're still going to get targeted. so, with the metal beam, you swing it around yourself. people around you keep jumping back to avoid your blind swinging except for mikasa who pulls you to safety.

it's also jean who points out to you that the square game guard acts so different around you, that their actions are so similar to a certain someone he knows. you already have a clue on who's behind that mask but once jean voices out his opinions, that just proves it because jean is never wrong in these things.

you never got to say goodbye to him. the last words he said to you rings in your mind as you enter the sleeping quarters after the marbles game.

"hey, you better be alive after this game, princess."

― armin arlert ; player 431

an unlikely player who somewhat thought this was a place without slaughter.

you know armin because jean pulls him in your team for the tug of war.

at first, you're surprised that such a soft-spoken person manages to enter the games but when you see the glint in his eyes that he's willing to win the prize, you're convinced that he's not just a simpleton acting all clueless for people to underestimate. but, according to jean, armin is not like another blonde that you need to watch out for. true enough, the first time you talk to armin, he instantly gives you his name. there's no secrecy lacing his words. that manages to convince you that he is trustworthy enough. not to mention that mikasa appears wide-eyed when armin walks to your group, saying that she knew him as the kid who played with her in the sand playground years ago. apparently, armin was her only friend until his family moved away to a different city because of his father's job. there's nothing negative about the remarks surrounding armin and you welcome him with a smile before the tug of war.

"i'm armin," the blonde states, holding out his hand for you to shake.

you look at his expectant gaze before dropping your eyes to his outstretched hand. most people in the previous games never asks for a player's name. the numbers are enough for them to call the others but the wonder in armin's eyes is too hard to resist. you smile at him and fit your palm against his. "i'm [name]. nice to meet you, armin."

his expression brightens like a kid with a surprise birthday party.

there you notice that armin doesn't deserve to be in this place. he shouldn't have an imaginary death flag waving over his head. he deserves so much better than being betrayed by his so-called teammates. your little quartet (you, mikasa, sasha, and jean) forms into an intricate pentagon of people with different reasons for stepping inside their designated vans.

armin fits so well in your group, being the brains aside from player 218. if 218 shows cold calculations that will favor himself, armin focuses on the strategies that greatly benefit the rest of the team as well as distribute jobs that are suitable for every member of the group. even after a few minutes of interaction with him before the next game, you thank armin for his quick wits as he comes up with the strategy for this game of strength while all of you are inside the elevator. player 218 doesn't agree with most of what armin says but since there's not much time left before the game starts, all of you will have to follow armin's suggestions.

he has great assumptions about the games.

before the marbles game, armin becomes suspicious of the instructions of the game guards. find a pair? there's no game in his childhood that has pairs as teams. unless these pairs aren't supposed to be on the same side. armin gawks at the game guards, who wordlessly watch everyone scramble to get the fittest or smartest people to be their pair. the best solution for this is to pair up with people outside of his team. he looks back to you, horror painting his face when you accept sasha's handshake. no, that can't be happening. why didn't you notice this trap set by the creators of the game? armin is about to convince you to rethink your decisions when a firm hand circles his arm. he turns around, blanching inwardly when someone appears in front of him.

"hey, min, team up with me."

armin notices your apologetic expression directed to the young woman in front of him. so, he meets your gaze. he mouths, "goodbye." you're confused. what does he mean by that?

it's only when you see mikasa walk past the gates with a gaunt expression that you understand.

that night, you cry for the first time in this place, your silent sobs dedicated to sweet armin, beautiful sasha, and caring jean. you cry for your friends who deserve everything except for their fates in these games. that night, you ask mikasa if it's okay to sleep on her bed. as she wraps her arms around you, you cry again for fear of the next few games taking away the last person who kept you sane in this hell.

― erwin smith ; player 218

your professor who randomly stopped teaching in your sophomore year.

surely your eyes are deceiving you if you're seeing the most loved professor of paradis university standing in one of these foreboding green tracksuits. maybe you are too disoriented after the car ride that you keep seeing hallucinations of your previous professors. however, you know he's real when he meets your gaze and furrows his brows at you gawking at him. he silently walks to you with a puzzled expression, his tone polite as he questions what are you doing in a place like this. you tell him that you two share the same reason why you're standing under a piggy bank with millions of dollars. he accepts your enigmatic response and hums under his breath as if that already satisfies his interrogation. for you, though, you don't know how such a perfect man came to this place.

the only thing you remember from your short time learning under erwin smith was that he was a family man, with a picture frame of his little family on his office desk, and an amazing tactician. if a game needs strategy, this man is the only person you can go to. having taught business in the renowned university across the continent, erwin smith is not someone to be messed with. despite being known for his caring personality among his students, he also bores a menacing and merciless professor when needed. that side of him is not what you need right now. good thing that you only heard of it from your seniors a while back. but you don't know what to expect if he loses his control over that approachable mien.

one thing is for sure, erwin is a dangerous individual to be considered as an ally.

still, you teamed up with him way before sasha befriended you.

unbeknownst to you, erwin is facing a million-dollar debt for taking part in the stock market. that picture of his perfect family was taken way back when his ex-wife was still happy with him. it was his gambling ways that made his ex-wife drift away from him. he was constantly out until the late of the night to spend every single penny in her account just to bet on horses. the divorce and the continuous debts were the reasons why he stopped teaching at paradis university. he became a broke man in an entire year, always running away from the law and debt collectors who follow his every movement. the fight for the custody of his son was the nail to the coffin. he loves that little boy and seeing as he lost every bit of financial stability just proved that he's not fit for taking the boy under his care. then, came the blonde woman knocking on his dingy apartment, claiming that he can win millions of dollars if he just plays a little game.

there's more than one person who keeps telling you to never trust erwin but you can't help but listen to his suggestions, especially in the game of tug of war. when armin's strategy didn't work, it's erwin who stepped up as the temporary leader of your little group. there's no way that he'll willingly let all of you die when he's the one standing at the front of the line. so, you tell everyone to follow erwin's instructions, catching the other team off guard by sliding close to the edge. you internally let it sink that you owe your life to erwin at this point.

you notice how he shifts closer to player 199, a man named mike and a person with a great sense of smell, and the doctor. there seems to be a connection going on with those three that seems to have stemmed from when they were in college.

you're correct to never trust erwin when you see from a distance how he tricks mike into giving his marbles, never even flinching when the gunshot rings out and the monotone voice announcing that player 199 has been eliminated. again, your instincts are correct when he pushes hange into the regular glass pane when it's just the four of you left. that mistrust turns into anger as you witness him slitting mikasa's throat, face devoid of any emotion when he turns to you with bright sky eyes.

"just me and my favorite student left. how thrilling."

― zeke jaeger ; front man

the one who feels the least remorse from all these bloodbaths.

the previous recruiter.

he's given the role of the front man in this year's games, appointing a previous winner named yelena to be the next recruiter.

he's the one who gave eren the job of being a game guard. it's supposed to be a playful game of ddakji but since eren chose red instead of blue (the younger man's reasoning being his girlfriend looks great in red), zeke's interest is piqued. he's only known his little brother for about three years but he knows that eren has no reason to enter the games as a player. their father is a doctor and their family is pretty well-off for them to start getting desperate for any cash. since the younger man expresses his boredom of being a college student, zeke uses that opportunity to invite eren to the games. not as a player, but as a game guard. he proceeds to explain eren's role in this grand scheme, with the latter hesitating when zeke mentions something about killing people. in the end, the blonde uses another tactic to get eren on board with this. he mentions his girlfriend.

if eren joins as a guard, a high-ranking one at that, he gets a good paycheck to help you out.

equality has always been the main mantra of these games but when your group came, everything flew out the window.

zeke has taken a liking to how you formed relationships despite having your lives on the line. yes, he doesn't feel anything for the other players, they can die for all he cares, but when it comes to your little group, he's actually considering letting your group pass the games. even without eren's threat of exposing this whole spectacle if his brother doesn't show leniency to you, zeke is willing to make the system unfair to let you or any of your teammates win. (the reason mainly resides in the back of his mind; a five-person group who became unlikely friends so many years back.) in fact, he talked to you two years ago when eren introduced you to his family, inviting you to dinner. he found you remarkable and charming, wishing you the best of luck for being eren's partner, to which the brunet always get offended about.

he watches with attentive eyes as you walk to the center of the venue of the last game, the other finalist towering over you. the v.i.p.s beside him are laughing at how such a small girl managed to survive this far, all of them betting on player 218 with everything they brought. to prove himself, zeke casually bets on you, his eyes glinting behind his mask. as zeke watches the game unfold in front of him; gone was the girl who reminded eren to eat during all-nighters, gone was the lovable young woman who gained the blessing of grisha and carla jaeger, gone was the understanding friend during the previous games. in place of all of those was an expressionless person who struggles to get out of player 218's hold in the middle of the square, biting off a chunk of his ankle without second thoughts, and taking advantage of the vulnerability by straddling the blonde man. you stab and scream your sorrows out to the rain until erwin smith breathes for the last time.

"player 218 has been eliminated. the winner of the squid game is player 356."

eren was right, you look great in red.

reblogs are very much appreciated !!! <3

#attack on titan x reader #attack on titan headcanons #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #snk x you #aot x reader #squid game #eren x reader #mikasa x reader #levi ackerman x reader

243 notes · View notes

bluejohsai · 3 years

Note

yo levi ackerman + an airport reconciliation 😔 running to him just so he could pick you up and kiss you djeyeheshsghs my heart hurts

euphoria — levi ackerman

— levi ackerman x female reader (modern au)

— warnings: none, just fluff <3

— summary: long distance relationships might sound scary but you and levi made it work. when you told him you're visiting him during spring break, it feels like he was given this chance to enjoy you in his arms again.

— word count: 2.7k

— notes: i just can't help but make this into a small fic, it's simply adorable and it's making me feel things :<< here's levi and those airport reunions we always see in movies <33

reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

When you told Levi that you got accepted to your dream university that was miles away from his chosen college, disbelief washed over him like a bucket of cold water. He tried so hard to be happy for you, to make you feel precious before going away to the other side of the continent, but it didn’t ease the nervousness he felt every time he thought about you going away. Levi was so used to you being around him, dating him while you’re in sophomore year of high school, and being his childhood friend — growing up with him since you two were in kindergarten. His memory always came up with your face every time he reminisced his carefree days, alongside you, Isabel, and Farlan. It was the same case as the other two but their college plans didn’t impact him as much as yours. You always gushed about getting accepted to Eldia University since you started your junior year. As much as it pained him to listen to the probability of you separating, he still made eye contact with you every time you talk to him about it.

The airport was such a bitter place to say your goodbyes.

“We’ll still be together,” you reassured him, looking sympathetically at his watery small smile. “I’ll Facetime you every day, Levi. Even update you on my schedule so that you know when’s my free time.”

He nodded, cupping your face with tender hands, forehead pressed affectionately against yours. His lips fluttered on your jutted bottom lip as he whispered in a low voice meant for you, “We’ll make this work. I know we’ll get through this.” Levi lets the butterflies engulf him for the last time in a short while, closing his eyes at the feeling of your lips briefly touching his. He tilted his head to capture you in a kiss, both of you desperate for the final contact of affection. He didn’t go as far as tasting you since he knew it would be too hard for him to let you go if he did that, so, he pulled away to regain his bearings. Damn, he’s going to miss your kisses so much. Levi’s eyes are still closed when his words stroke your lips, “I love you, beautiful.”

“I love you, too, Lev,” you muttered with stars dripping on your eyelashes. “I’ll definitely visit you.”

The overhead speakers repeated the pre-boarding announcements. His somber eyes followed you as you hug your parent tightly. With a final wave, you finally made your way to the boarding area of the airport and Levi watched you go.

Now, Levi couldn’t comprehend how time flows so fast. That was more than two years ago but it felt like yesterday. However, he was in a different city this time. A week after you found out you passed for Eldia University; he received a letter saying he got accepted to the University of Trost. Kuchel told him to take the opportunity and that he shouldn’t worry about her living alone, which he reluctantly nodded at upon concluding that Kenny might be a frequent visitor of their house the moment he’s away. By picking this college, the distance between the two of you will increase yet you brush his worries off by saying that you two will make this work. And he did just that.

The first year at the University of Trost, Levi didn’t expect to make friends that quick. Enter Erwin, his roommate, and Hange, the loud person he got paired up with in a general education class during freshman year. The three of them became close-knit, reminding Levi of his own set of friends back in his hometown. It didn’t occur to him to inform them that he was already dating someone until Hange set him up with a girl from the Sciences department. At first, the brown-haired person masked the blind date as a random hang-out between the two of them but Erwin’s guilty eyes gave everything away. Levi didn’t think much about it. But when he saw a strawberry blonde waiting for him in the university restaurant Hange instructed him to go instead of his idiotic friends, Levi felt like an asshole for getting out of the establishment that fast.

Hange got an earful from Levi that night.

Truth be told, Hange and Erwin didn’t believe you exist when Levi relayed the fact that he’s in a happy and perfect relationship with the most precious person in his life — his exact words. (Hange couldn’t believe their ears when Levi used those words.)

At one point, though, Erwin would hear voices coming out of Levi’s room. It was one gloomy night, the clouds promising another period of rain. Erwin was planning on doing an all-nighter, yawning in the kitchen to fix himself some coffee and midnight snacks to keep him awake until morning. There was a sliver of light coming from the bottom of Levi’s door so the taller blond didn’t find anything out of the ordinary from it since Levi also pulled all-nighters when some schoolwork needed it. However, as he passed by his best friend’s door, he heard Levi laughing.

Levi laughing genuinely. What the fuck?

Erwin stopped in his tracks and softly walked back to Levi’s door. He pressed his ear on the wood to hear it clearly. Maybe drowsiness was starting to wash over Erwin. When the next few minutes of him looking like a dumbass eavesdropping on his roommate, the same laughter in Levi’s deep voice rang out again. Erwin was confused. Levi never laughed like this when he’s with them, except for the times he found something adorable like a pair of puppies playing with each other or remembering something while gazing at a large hoodie in a rack. But those laughs were only low chuckles. This was a full-blown laugh. Erwin heard a conversation and he held his breath to hear it more. God, Hange will be having a field day when they hear this. The blond’s eyes widened when he heard, “I miss you, beautiful. I want to hug you so bad. When can I see you again? Hmm? Fuck, you’re so pretty. Agh, why are you so adorable? Makes me want to jump through the screen and kiss your face.”

Then, Erwin heard a name.

“[Name], love you.”

Cue the stalking. Hange thought Erwin was lying but the look on the blond’s face made Hange open an Instagram tab on their laptop.

“Did you catch any last name?” Hange peered over their computer.

Erwin shook his head.

“Bummer,” the brown-haired person murmured. The only way they could access something from Levi is through his dry-ass Instagram account. Hange searched through Levi’s list of following, which are just five people. Them, Erwin, someone called Isabel, a guy named Farlan, and a username that didn’t show any relation to the name Erwin overheard. They clicked that profile and Hange felt so proud of themselves. The profile picture was just an aesthetic shot of a butterfly but the feed, Hange was at a loss for words. Levi’s dating somebody this ethereal? “Are you sure this is the right person, Erwin? This is too good to be true. Look at her.”

Erwin transferred his seat to the one beside Hange’s. “Damn,” he breathed in awe at the series of pictures present in Levi’s supposed girlfriend’s feed. “She’s—”

“Fucking beautiful. Glad to know you think so, Eyebrows. You, too, I guess, Four-eyes.” Levi nonchalantly sat in Erwin’s previous seat, taking out his MacBook and reference book, ready to study for a couple of hours before getting dinner. He didn’t meet his friends’ eyes as he lined everything up in his spot on their group study room’s table. He knew that they had comical faces on but he couldn’t prevent the snort of laughter coming out of him when he finally faced his friends. “You don’t have to go and stalk her, you know? But it’s not my fault you guys don’t believe me when I said I have a girlfriend.” He shrugged impassively. “You fucking idiots even dare to stalk her Instagram account.”

“Damn, Shorty, never knew you had it in you to date someone this pretty.”

“Me, too.” His eyes softened for a moment, pausing in flipping the textbook to his assigned readings. “She has so many admirers that I’m surprised she fell in love with me.”

“We have to meet her! Where is she right now?”

“Oh, you will meet her, eventually. She’s in EU right now, though.”

“That’s pretty far,” Erwin stated but he quickly replaced his thoughtful face with a smile. “Nonetheless, we’re excited to meet your girlfriend, Levi.”

“Yeah, she’ll love you two.”

Spring break in their junior year was nearing and with it came a message that had Levi standing up from his bed. He was just taking a fifteen-minute break, feeling the slight throb of incoming back pains. Plopping on his bed for the remainder of his break, his timer ticking away, Levi fixed his half-lidded stare on the ceiling. Thoughts about passing his exams made him groan. He didn’t notice the vibrating device for one second before groaning again since he assumed the vibration came from the timer of his break. He patted his duvet for his phone, eager to turn off his timer and to assign another fifteen-minute break. He needed it. Your contact name, however, was the source of the vibration. Levi sat up with narrowed eyes. You rarely text every time Levi informed you that he will be studying for his exams.

Love 💕

i’m so sorry for disturbing you, levi :<

just wanted to tell you that i’ll be visiting you for spring break!

there’s no conflicting schedule this time

see you, lev 🥰

Levi’s dark gray eyes kept reading that message all over again while he was hunched on his seat in the airport. His chest was pounding with a tumultuous beat, anticipating your arrival. A consistent tapping on the floor was a sign that he was getting nervous. He turned on his phone to check the time, his lockscreen of you making him smile. It was only about fifteen minutes since he sat down. Five minutes left until you’ll be in his arms again. When you texted the time of your flight, Levi instantly got himself ready and took off on his convertible thirty minutes before your estimated arrival. He kept fiddling with the ring you sent him on your anniversary, the jewelry reminding him to keep calm. When that wasn’t effective enough, he scrolled through his Twitter, snorting at some idiotic posts Hange made or Mike’s selfies that looked like a father took it. He remembered you teaching him how to take a decent selfie, all your instructions flying off his head because you look cute telling him things.

“Levi!”

Levi looked up in a hurry.

Fuck, you’re so pretty for a person who endured a four-hour flight.

You were running towards him and he was just gawking. He probably looked like an idiot right now but he doesn’t care — you’re finally here and you’re carrying the brightest smile in the airport. You’re shining in his eyes. Or was it because the tears were starting to mist his vision?

God, is that his hoodie you’re wearing?

As you’re becoming nearer, Levi could faintly detect the hoodie he bought in his senior year of high school, the piece of clothing that he couldn’t find in his closet because you’re wearing them for the day after staying over at his house. His heart became warm. When you reached him (your suitcase left by the chairs he was sitting on) he didn’t hesitate to wrap you in the tightest hugs he ever gave a person. He didn’t care if people stare at you two but he couldn’t resist lifting you until he felt your legs wrap around his waist. There was a buzz of excitement running through him. Your laughs were the most beautiful thing he ever heard all day, blessing his ears since they weren’t from a computer or phone as he buried his face on your neck. He unwrapped one arm around your back and lifted it to cup your face, tears sparkling against the glass windows of the airport. He stared at your ethereal visage for a second before pulling you in a kiss.

It was as if he feels so alive again — the butterflies flooding his senses and urging for spring to blossom in his body, tingling his every nerve.

Levi poured everything in the kiss. The two years he had to endure without you by his side; of not waking up next to you, of never experiencing you cook for him under the early morning glow, of not feeling your eyelashes on his bare skin when you trail soft kisses over his heart. He buried his hand in your hair, tilting your head to deepen the kiss. He was craving to taste home on your lips for so long. Your bottom lip was caught between his teeth, eliciting a gasp that made Levi’s face and chest warm. He tasted you, tenderly brushing his tongue against yours, with his groan meant for your ears only. Eventually, you would have to pull away for air but when you two did, he immediately pulled you in for another kiss filled with pining. His grip on your back tightened even more and you noticed how his muscles bulged against his shirt and leather jacket. (You remembered how he updated you every time he went to the gym and you couldn’t resist deeply kissing him for the second time.)

Levi had no plans of letting you go.

However, with a final soft kiss from you, you two slightly pulled away. The gray eyes you fell in love with crinkled at the corners, the lips you just kissed were glossy with your lip balm. Levi held himself back by biting his bottom lip at the sight of your kiss-swollen lips, his half-lidded yet hazy eyes focusing on them before trailing to your loving stare. He watched you press your foreheads together, noses brushing against one another in the affectionate way Levi missed so much. He blissfully sighed at the small action that impacted him more than he expected.

“Welcome home, love.”

You chuckled, patting his shoulder to let him know that it’s okay for him to let you stand. With a hand rubbing circles on your waist over his hoodie, you stared at your boyfriend with a giddy smile. “I’m home, Levi.”

Levi’s smile widened. He nuzzled his face on your hair, inhaling the scent of your shampoo that was still the same as high school. “Fuck, I miss you so much, beautiful.”

“I miss you and your hugs, Levi,” you replied softly. Your eyes then caught something glinting on Levi’s ears. You gasped at the small hoop earrings adorning your boyfriend’s ears. “You got your ears pierced. When did you do this?”

Levi breathed a laugh, giving you a peck on the lips before taking your suitcase from the side. He directed you towards the exit of the airport with an arm wrapped around your waist. “Two days ago. I want to surprise you so I impulsively did it. It was either a tattoo or this. I’m not mentally ready for a tattoo yet but piercings sound cool so I picked them instead. Do you like them?” He glanced at you with a cheeky smirk.

“I love them. You look good with piercings.”

Levi felt so happy that he couldn’t breathe. You beckoned him to catch up to you since he paused in his steps to blatantly admire you. But he couldn’t take the step because you’re just so fucking beautiful being happy like that. He was convinced that this was a dream. However, when you pulled on his hand, he was thrown back into reality. And as you walk ahead of him towards his car, your laugh captured in his memories when you turned around with a lovely smile, Levi thought you’re the Sun in his eyes — happiness so raw and carefree blanketing him that reminded him of his childhood.

You’re his euphoria.

general taglist:

@angelofthorr

#levi aot #aot x reader #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan imagines #levi x you #levi x reader #levi ackerman x you

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bluejohsai · 3 years

Text

the parent trap — levi ackerman (vii)

— levi ackerman x female reader (modern au | the parent trap au)

— warnings: mentions of cheating, fluff and the bittersweet feeling of meeting someone again <3

— summary: you four are together again.

— word count: 9.7k :>>>

— author’s notes: hello !! it's been a while since i picked up this series and i'm so excited to post this chapter djebdej this was so sweet to write and i hope you enjoy reading it just as much as i loved writing it !! happy reading, beautiful people <3

the song caelum is singing is linked here

my masterlist

“When I find him, I’m going to castrate the bloody hell out of that bastard,” Hange murmured lowly, voice dark as their intention towards your brown-haired fiancé. Their grip on the glass of beer tightened at the image of him molesting you in the elevator. Once again, they gulped down a mouthful of their drink before placing it back on the table with a slam. They planted their brown eyes over your figure, sitting beside them with fingers wringing on your lap. With a pursed expression, Hange placed their free hand over yours, rubbing their thumb over the back of your hand. Their voice is gentle when they said, “Don’t stop me, danseuse. I’m ready to kill someone tonight. Oluo will even help me hide the body.”

You shook your head with a light laugh, cupping Hange’s hand with both of yours. A lock of your hair fell over your face, your fingers immediately putting it behind your ear with a sniff. After you got out of the elevator, you instantly looked around the lobby of the hotel, searching for that familiar shade of black that you adored. There were instances that you saw someone with the same haircut, only for them to give you looks of bewilderment when you called out a different name. This has been on an ongoing loop for the past thirty minutes and your stomach grumbled, never giving up the opportunity of finding your ex-husband again. That was when Hange found you. They told you that Oluo phoned them, informing them of your current situation. Upon seeing your best friend, your tears once again trickled down your cheeks. It disgusted you as you were relying on what happened in the elevator but Hange needed to know, they were your confidante after all. Now, the two of you were seated inside the hotel’s restaurant for the lunch that was first reserved for five, now dwindled to two.

“Please don’t resort to murder, Hange,” you breathed, daintily picking the cup of rose tea on the table and sipping on in with a satisfied hum. It reminded you of the time Levi made you that rose tea so many years ago. It was so similar in taste that it brought you to a road of nostalgia. You placed the cup on the saucer before glancing at your pouting friend. “I don’t think I could get you out of jail if you committed it. And I miss that nickname — it brings me back.”

“Well, I guess murder is out of the question,” the brown-haired person muttered. Then, they grinned at your last statement. “This nickname will always be eternal. It was how I first knew you after all. Oh, to bring back those times when watching you dance was the highlight of my day.”

You smiled wistfully, twirling your pasta on your fork. “Do you remember that time I lied to my parents about having a study group on the campus during 8th year?”

Hange brightened at the memory. “How could I ever forget that? You appeared at our front door with the school’s full uniform on. Even the assigned beret hat!” They pointed at you before sharing a laugh with you. They hummed with nostalgia glazing their eyes. “When we went to the beach that time, I was so happy. Even if we rode the coach for more than an hour, it was so worth it. I couldn’t forget the look on the conductor’s face! He looked ready to ask about our parents.” They leaned their head on your shoulder, breathing in your scent that appeared like blossoms around their senses. “I want to be a kid again and go to beaches with you in secret. I still have that rock you found,” they looked up at you and the sight of your soft smile sent Hange’s heart in a whirlwind, “you know, that one with the iridescent shine.”

(The memoir played like a highlight reel.

You were supposed to be preparing for one of the galas your family funded — hair styled the way your mother wanted and a dress showing your status among the elites in England, but here you are, standing in front of your friend’s front door, hoping to God that it wasn’t their parents who will be answering your doorbell-ringing. You fiddled with your fingers in front of your knee-length skirt, ducking every time a car honked behind you, in fear of them knowing your identity. The best you could disguise your features with is the pair of glasses you stole from your grandfather’s study. It was too round but you still wore them nonetheless. When Hange ushered you inside their empty house (their parents were off to a business trip overseas), you relayed that you lied to your parents that some of your classmates invited you to a study group, thus, the uniform. You included Hange in your list of classmates, of course.

They laughed while eating their treasured butter cookies, which led to them having a minor choking fit that made you scramble for a glass of juice in the refrigerator.

As Hange started recovering from getting her breath taken away by the sugary goodness, you told them that you needed to escape for a moment because your house was starting to feel suffocating. That was when Hange presented the idea of spontaneously roaming around London for the whole day. They promised you that no harm will come to you as long as they’re around. You nearly doubted this because Hange is a person who attracts danger and disaster, making them one of the clumsiest people you ever knew.

“Why are you looking at me like that, danseuse? I’m fully capable of taking care of you! When have I ever get you in trouble?”

They’ve got a point and so begins your little rendezvous with Hange Zoe — trying out random restaurants, going to carnivals around the city, and eventually finding refuge in the sandy beach an hour away from London.

You never stepped foot on a beach ever since you were a toddler. The cries of the seagulls and the splashing of the waves against the rock formations nearby sent you in a sense of calmness, something that you never experienced for years of being under pressure. Your blazer, shoes, and socks were immediately thrown over the patch of grass by the sand, with you running towards the line where the sand meets the cold waters. Without any second thought, you ran until the water reached the middle of your calves, and the sound of splashing flitting your ears that signified Hange was not too far behind. Their laughs made you giggle into the sea breeze. The smell of salt invaded your senses and you let it engulf you in a temporary shield of exhilaration. Every single thing you saw at the beach embedded itself in your mind, in hopes that it would last for an eternity. You didn’t notice how Hange admired you a few feet away, the latter happy that you finally looked peaceful — very different from the usual blank, doll face you lived up to in your academy.

For the first time, you finally felt free.)

You placed your head against Hange’s, your lunch was forgotten as you basked in the never-ending comfort your best friend gave you. “I remember,” you laughed. “You nearly threw a tiny wobbler when you lost it in our flat here. Oluo was so scared of you for the first time. Good thing we found it inside your pocket in one of your pants or else you’re ready to plan another trip to a nearby beach just to find a replica. I couldn’t blame you, though, it is a pretty rock.”

“It really is! You even designed something from it!”

“Well, the colors gave me inspiration.” You patted your best friend’s head to get back to your lunch, with them complying, turning to their own food. While chewing on your pasta, an image of a hectic room came into your mind, with some of your previous employees scampering to get the right color of garments or to get a copy of the client’s measurements. What you couldn’t forget was the little toddler swinging their chubby legs over their high chair, silver eyes fixated on you like you were every role in his life. His babbles and incoherent statements made your work lighter even though he was taking up space in your then small studio. He was pointing at small trinkets, handing them to you as a way of helping. You unconsciously smiled at the memory. “Caelum was watching me stress over that dress. It was an ugly sight but he made everything better.”

Hange found themselves smiling, seeing as they were the one who brought him to your studio since they had an impromptu conference for the whole day. “You were so great at raising him, [Name]. You have every right to fight against putting him in adoption. Your parents are just trying to get on your nerves like always but they took it too far this time. I wish they saw how you sometimes put aside your schedule for the bridal shop because you couldn’t bear the thought of Caelum having days without his mother.” Hange put their hand on your back. “We just have to prove to them that Lucas is a cheating arsehole and they will start questioning their bullshit. You are a successful woman, [Name], and just a little bit more, your parents will start to realize that you can stand your ground.”

“I know, Hange. Once we get back to London, I’m going to talk to them about the proposal with Lucas and their plans for Caelum. I’m tired of them taking away every treasure I have in my life. But if they still can’t be swayed after breaking off the engagement…”

“… What are we going to do if that happens?”

You glanced at them with a small grin, the image of a pale-faced Levi flickering in your mind. What a small world. “We’re in California, right?”

Hange stared at you confused. “What do you mean, [Name]?” Then, with a glimpse of your knowing smile, they gasped --- both hands covering their mouth. “Oh, my God, don’t tell me you’re going to do the most impossible thing you told me once we got back to London all those years ago.”

“I know I never really ventured into this topic deeper because it still hurts and I regret not telling Caelum about his father more but,” you trailed off, running your fingers on the ring you took out of your necklace, the diamonds beckoning you for some reason, “I think it’s about time I face Levi. If my parents wanted me to get married so that Caelum can grow up with a father to rely on, I might just do it but with someone I’m still very much in love with after all these years. I will do everything to have Caelum stay in our little family — even if it meant pushing aside the bitterness I felt when Levi didn’t take that step forward to keep our family intact. If it means waking up to Caelum’s laughter every morning, I’d get back with Levi.” You shrugged lightheartedly. “Maybe everything will be alright this time around. I don’t know why but I have a feeling it will go well.”

Hange was silent, their body vibrating with pride and anticipation. This was supposedly the most impossible thing that could happen to you — getting back with Levi. Altair told them that during this small vacation in California, Levi will be here as well, to switch him and his twin to the rightful parent alongside another surprise that will be revealed soon. The brown-haired person was also in the dark about the latter but they have an idea that Altair was planning on setting you and Levi up. Maybe this will push the twins’ wishes to come true.

“Let’s go find Altair, Hange. I want to bring him to the butterfly garden.”

Your best friend blinked once, gaped the next second, and gasped once they realized what you said. They stood up from their seat, with you holding back your laugh. All this time, you knew? Questions such as that ran through Hange’s mind. “[Name], you knew?!”

“No, I just noticed it earlier in the lobby while waiting for you and Oluo. I know that he’s Altair but I have no clue as to why he got himself into this situation. If you have any idea of what starlight is planning, please tell me, Hange. I don’t want him to do anything reckless.”

“But how did you know? Did sweet pea tell you?”

You pointed at them with a small smile. “First of all, your new nickname for Caelum made me curious. You never once changed it no matter how many nicknames appealed to you, calling him your little bean since it sounds adorable. Second, there are things that he was doing that will be considered separate from Caelum’s usual — his appetite and even how he dresses, too. He told me Caelum’s suits felt like they were choking him. Third,” you paused, fiddling with the ring you slid in your right ring finger, “his eyes are so much like Levi’s. The way he stares at me reminded me of his father. The last reason is probably his hugs — Caelum doesn’t hug me as he saw me for the first time at every embrace. Since Altair stayed with us after the summer camp, his hugs are speaking to me to never let him go.” You looked at Hange, who was grinning with stars in their eyes. “Call it a mother’s instinct.”

Hange looped their arm with yours, leading you out of the restaurant and into the hallway. “So, are you going to tell him you know?”

You nodded. “Once we find him. I have a gut feeling that he’s with Levi right now.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right—wait, what?!”

“I know Altair told you about this, Hange, don’t play pretend.” A small breathy laugh came out of your lips, apologetically glancing at your best friend. “I hope I didn’t ruin anything. If so, I’m sorry. I didn’t expect him to be in this hotel.”

“You know what?” Hange’s lips pulled in a half-smile. “This is perfect! You’re not doubting your decision of letting him in again, right?” At your slow nod, they vibrated with excitement, pulling you outside to search for your ex-husband and children. “Then, let’s go bring you four back together right this moment!”

The tune of Suis-moi trickled like dewdrops from Caelum as he strolled down the hallways. His hands were balled inside the pockets of his jacket, his silver irises appreciating the flower arrangements and color palette the hotel boasts. He was already anticipating a new wedding gown, knowing how you always got inspiration from ethereal architectures in your trips like this huge building. It would be nice if you could enjoy this vacation before going back to your routine of sleepless nights and ringing phones from clients all over the world. Once this plan becomes a success through the end, Caelum was ready to help you around the studio, picking the fabrics and manning the other sewing machine. At the thought, Caelum smiled a little, the song he was singing resonated with every measured step towards the elevator at the end of the hallway.

Caelum couldn’t help but unconsciously sing this little tune since it was the first song he learned when you took him to Paris, making him remember the sweets he tried with you and all the dresses you designed on your sketchbook while strolling on the streets. All his reminiscing of that trip when he was six and all the many getaways you two did in the city of light and love made him miss you. Caelum enjoyed his time with his father (that’s already a given) but he also craved the gentle demeanor you always have whenever he was around, how you cradled his face in your hands like he was the most delicate thing. His expression fell, the song coming to a halt, the moment he remembered what Oluo said during their small gathering in that hotel suite — that you were never a great mother for him. Caelum felt the anger bubbling in his stomach, his dislike for his grandparents growing by the minute.

I love you to the moon and back, past the furthest galaxy, and beyond.

Those were your words every single time you tuck him in, after gallant adventures and tales of magic that your voice carried straight to his heart and memory. Everything that he is now was because of you — how you taught him that love can come in all forms or how you told him that you will always be proud of him no matter what. Whoever said you were a bad mother to him didn’t know the sacrifices you went through just to make Caelum happy. From what Levi told him, you always put everyone’s best wishes before you.

The lift dinged, signaling the little boy that he reached his destination, with his thoughts pausing as he went out of the doors. While casually humming Suis-moi again under his breath, a thought came into Caelum’s mind.

If you ever plan on marrying Levi again, Caelum hoped it’s because, at some point in this trip, you realized that you still love Levi. Not because you felt the obligation to do it to stop the engagement with Lucas or the adoption. That is the one thing that he and Altair discussed privately while eating dessert earlier — make sure that if you meet Levi again, everything should feel genuine instead of the forced enthusiasm you exhibited with Lucas.

Then, a tall person bumped into Caelum, sending him backward from the impact. He felt his bottom blossom with pain, a shaky, “Ow,” coming out of his mouth. The boy’s eyebrows furrowed, looking up at the person he bumped into, only to come face to face with a sneer on a somewhat presentable brown-haired man. The tall man was handsome, someone who could make some people swoon with just a smile, but his attractiveness ended with the scowl he threw at Caelum. As if the boy was a pest wriggling under his stare. It unnerved Caelum, choosing to glare at the stranger for the next few minutes before standing up on his own. The man didn’t even check his condition after toppling him with his overbearing gait. The boy patted his jeans and shirt, directing a jaded look at the man before him. When he opened his mouth to tell the older man to watch where he was going, he was beaten by the most arrogant, posh voice he ever heard in his life.

(More than his grandmother, and that’s saying something.)

“Have you seen your mother?”

Now, this is curious, Caelum thought, before speaking with a British accent, “What? Are you talking to me?” He looked behind him to check if there were people behind him that could possibly be the acquaintance of this man but there was no one to be found. Caelum turned back to the stranger and took a step back, lifting his head a little bit with scrutinizing eyes.

“Who else is here, Your Highness? Of course, I’m talking to you.” The man continued saying his words as if he was talking to a toddler and it made Caelum’s left eye twitch. “Or are you now adapting to this new thing of not letting commoners breathe next to you?”

“What—?” The gray-eyed boy muttered before shaking his head lightly. Words from his twin of the man you’re engaged with flashed like stoplights in his mind. A brown-haired man (“I won’t accept his attractiveness,” Altair grumbled.), taller than Oluo, calls ‘Caelum’ Your Highness — bingo. A hauntingly faux smile appeared on Caelum’s face, one that was reserved when strangers fuss over him at galas. He started running his eyes over the man’s features, getting a gist of how he carried himself, from the styled hair down to the tips of his dress shoes. This man would be an idiot to not pick up how mocking Caelum’s smile was. “Lucas,” the onyx-haired boy thoughtfully grinned.

Lucas curled his lips in disgust. “Why are you gawking at me like that? Have you finally stopped being the little demon that you are? Don’t tell me you’re going to be nice to me all of a sudden.” He walked past Caelum, tilting his head to the side to let the boy hear his next words. “If you see your mother, tell her I’m not going to be sleeping in the hotel tonight. But I’ll be coming back here in the morning to change my clothes so also tell Oluo to unlock the door by eight o’clock.” He faced the front with a blank face. “I’m going to let her have a piece of my mind when I feel like talking to her, though,” Lucas murmured for himself, careful to not let Caelum hear it. With that, he slithered out of the lobby and towards a waiting leggy, bare-backed, and youthful brunette that looked awfully familiar to the young boy.

Caelum stared at the retreating man, never taking his eyes off Lucas and the woman as he took out his phone from the pocket of his jacket. Unlocking the device with a glance, he clicked a number and pressed the screen on his ear. “Hello, Al?”

“Cae! You called early. Is everything alright?”

“I saw him.”

“Wait, who? Luke?”

Caelum nodded. He quickly realized that Altair couldn’t see him if he wordlessly answered but once he was taking a breath to say something, his twin was already talking.

“So, you saw him, huh? What do you think of him?”

That elicited a scoff from the younger twin. He ruffled his hair until they were slightly becoming the wavy locks he had before his haircut. “He called me ‘Your Highness’ as you anticipated.” Caelum laughed lowly at how bad that nickname sounded. He was perfectly fine with ‘little prince’ but being called ‘Your Highness’ takes the cake. “What a dimwitted individual. I’m actually surprised grandmother thought it was a good idea to pair up Mum with him. Aside from his family’s bank account, which is enormous, I’m sure, he doesn’t have any redeeming qualities that would look nice on the papers. I don’t like him at all, Al, he sounds funny when he speaks. Even grandmother doesn’t speak like that.”

Altair laughed through the other end of the call. “Something like this?” The older twin then deepened his voice with an exaggerated imitation of Lucas’s haughty tone. “Darling? Is everything alright? Surely my handsomeness could save your dreadful day! Why don’t we go on a vacation to relax and unwind, huh? I hope your more handsome ex-husband isn’t staying in the same hotel as us. I fear you will leave me behind for him, darling!”

Caelum giggled alongside his brother, vividly getting the image of Altair bowing in an extra manner in his side of the call with Levi looking at him as if he’s gone bonkers. “He does sound like that! I’m worried that people might misinterpret him every time he opens his mouth.” Caelum stopped laughing, remembering that he was supposed to report something to Altair. “Hey, Al, I forgot to mention that Luke was walking out of the hotel with a brown-haired woman. I swear I’ve seen her somewhere but I’m not too sure when. Oh, and he said that he’ll be sleeping outside of the hotel but he’ll be coming back in the morning to change. I think that’s the perfect time to start the next phase of the plan.”

“Ha, we hit the jackpot! Luke-boy doesn’t know what hit him this time. Are you okay with tagging along tomorrow, though? I don’t want you getting tired while roaming the city.”

“Yeah, I’ll be with you every step of the way. This will be a great experience to get to know a new place while I’m here. Wait, where are you right now?”

“I’m helping Petra set up things by the pool. Hurry over! The drinks will be watered down if you come here later than ten minutes. I hope you’re feeling alright after your walk. Oh, here are the cakes, Petra. Captain, sit! Damn, can he not cling to me when I’m bringing the drinks here? Uh, you still there, Cae? Do you want me to come to get you? Just tell me where you are.”

Caelum breathed a laugh. “No, it’s alright. I’m heading to the pool right now. Do you still have some strawberry shortcake?”

“Of course! You like this, right? Captain, for fuck’s sake, sit down! Here, take this cookie! Just stop begging me to play. Your hair is sticking to my clothes and I don’t like it when you keep doing that. I just changed, too!”

“Captain sounds lively, huh?”

“Come over here and help me calm him down please.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

The hotel offered the kind of escape Levi wanted to have since he started becoming busy with the tea plantation and teahouse. Children were running around and adults eating in the hotel restaurant and for some reason, none of it irritated Levi. For a person who preferred solitude more than social interaction, he was walking down the hallways with no problem at all. The so-called meeting in his suite proved to be one of the most stressful gatherings he ever took part in. He always knew that your parents were the reason why you ran to America and he got the gist that they weren’t the best people to introduce him to, but knowing that they were trying to put Caelum to adoption just to get you to stay in line made Levi livid. Courting you again sounded like the perfect thing that can pull you out of your parents’ watchful eyes for good. Altair said that getting back with you was one of the best routes (Levi had no fucking clue what he meant by that, Caelum had to tell him it was gaming jargon) because that would mean you will have someone to help raise the twins other than Hange and Oluo.

The only problem was that you might turn him down in the next second. He hoped not.

Levi saw how your face revealed a brief flash of relief when you saw him. That little detail was the epitome of hope he desperately clung to when he came to terms that he still loves you so much. The flowers dotting the hotel poolside couldn’t compare to the bouquet flourishing inside him at the thought of you. All of them were flowers he dedicated to you – flowers he made into teas. He smiled at the memory of you gushing about having a flower garden full of your favorite blossoms. He didn’t like it when somebody talked his ear off but when it came to you, God, it’s always you, he was ready to lend his ears to your stories, no matter how trivial they were. Your voice alone compelled him to listen more – it was like a songbird marking the dawn every day. He could listen to you talk all night long until he found himself sleeping soundly in your arms.

The day seemed to glisten even more when Levi continued walking down memory lane. The sound of kids cheering by the pool became your laughter when you pulled him out of his house a year after you graduated from college, the rain creating a curtain around you. His mother was looking out the window (smile lovingly directed at you two) while the both of you danced in the rain, Levi twirling you with a firm hand around yours. The splash from the waters just outside the hallway he was walking on turned into sounds of throwing cookie batters and icing in the kitchen of your shared apartment. It started with Levi booping your nose with an icing-covered finger. You retaliated by scooping the cookie batter and wiped it down Levi’s face. The summer Sun dulled and became the night sky, stargazing and picking the brightest stars for you.

Altair.

“That’s a nice name.” He remembered turning to you.

Your eyes held the universe as you looked up at him. Soft smiles were exchanged. “Yeah, it is.”

“We’re expecting twins, right?”

You hummed, gliding your pointer finger over the expanse of Levi’s chest, drawing out a random constellation mindlessly. You felt your stomach flutter at his words. Twins, who would’ve thought.

“Caelum.”

It made you stop at first and then you were looking at a starlike gaze hovering over you. Levi was now using his elbow to support himself, looking straight down into your wide eyes.

“How about naming the other twin Caelum?” Levi ducked down to rub his nose against yours. He still felt how that contact clenched his heart. It was so soft that he wanted to turn back time to do it to you every time you wake up in his arms. “I read that name somewhere and I thought it has a nice ring to it. Altair and Caelum.”

Levi closed his eyes at the ghost of a touch you left on his cheek. “Our little heaven and starlight.”

“Our little heaven and starlight.”

Pulchritudinous was the word he could describe you any time of the day and that night wasn’t an exception. Your beauty rivals that of the goddesses and nymphs Levi learned from his mother’s bedtime stories. It was both a breathtaking and heartbreaking beauty, now that Levi thought about it. Every moment spent with you took his breath away but now that he never saw your face in the kitchen or the patio of the Ackerman manor, your face appearing in his head sent a pang of welcoming pain that he was used to. If only he took that step forward and pulled on your arm, stressed how much he loves you as he prevented you from getting out of the estate with a tight embrace, you would be here looking at him like he was the embodiment of euphoria.

As if the memories connected with the present and resonated with his wishes, you’re here.

Seeing you at the elevators only gave Levi a glimpse of your face. But now that you’re standing at the other side of the pool, gaze searching for something, someone, he felt everything all at once – and when your pretty irises met with his, the Sun and the Moon finally stopped their game of hide-and-seek and longed for an eclipse. Without a single word and gray eyes still locked on yours, Levi approached you with measured steps, fists clenching and unclenching by his side.

He feels his heart pounding to his ears, his hands becoming clammy, his breathing ragged.

Until everything stopped when you’re finally two feet away from him.

A shaky breath came out of you. “Levi.”

Wide eyes took you in, your elegance never deterring through the years. With soft eyes, he ran his adoring stare from the way the wind rustled your hair, down to how your dress’s strap dropped on one shoulder, to your hand fiddling with the ring you never threw back at him when you separated, and back to your watery smile. He reached out without thinking about it and gently grasped the strap of your dress, placing it back to its rightful place on your shoulder, and his touch lingering on your skin as if you were a flickering mirage in front of him. He stepped closer to you until only a foot separated you two. You were so close that Levi could see the stars inside your eyes – some of them escaping, clinging to your eyelashes. He was so scared that you would turn away but he didn’t give a damn about it. A tentative hand brushed against your cheek, never knowing that his voice created such an impact on you, “[Name].” It came out as a whisper but he knew it still reached you. “Hi, beautiful.”

You placed your hand over his and leaned into his palm. “Hi, Levi.” He looked the same as the person who stared at you too much during lunch in the university cafeteria. His stare was still arresting, telling you to never look away from him. There were little changes here and there like his build and height (you noted he grew a couple of inches since you last saw him) but he was still your Levi – the Levi you fell in love with all these years. You laughed, tightening your grip on his hand. “I—T-This is too much of a coincidence. You’re here while we’re on a vacation…”

A thoughtful pause made you look away from him.

“No,” Levi murmured, tilting your head until you once again stared at him. “Just look at me, alright?” His thumb caressed the apple of your cheek and it made your heart clench.

You nodded before clearing your throat. “As I said, you being here in this hotel is … it’s like you know we’ll be here. Why?”

Levi glanced at something behind him, a slight smirk and a spark of mischief lighting up his eyes.

You followed his gaze and your breath hitched at the onyx-haired boy peeking from behind Levi. He fiddled with the hem of his beach shirt while flashing a small, innocent smile at you. You returned the smile, looking at Levi for a second before kneeling in front of your son. His wide eyes still trained on your beautiful face, gulping down saliva because of anticipation. “Hello, starlight.” You saw Levi perk up at your peripheral vision. “I hope you enjoyed your time with me even if it was just for a short while.”

Altair’s lips parted in surprise, clenching his fists tightly to not let the tears drop down on his cheeks. He looked up to prevent himself from crying but his quivering lip said it all. Gentle hands cupped his face, your patient expression nearly breaking him if not for the control he has over sobbing loudly in the middle of a five-star hotel’s large pool. That would be embarrassing. “H-Hey, Mom. Please don’t be angry at Caelum, it’s my idea to switch places. I know it’s reckless but I just wanted to m-meet you and Cae wanted to meet D-Dad.” Levi tenderly ran his hand through his eldest son’s hair to comfort him but it looked like that was the last straw for the tear to drip down his cheek. “I just wanted to see you, Mommy,” he repeated.

“Oh, starlight,” you whispered once you saw him hastily wipe the tears from his face.

You pulled him in a hug, Altair’s soft cries muffled by your shoulder. His arms wrapped around your back as his cries turned into sobs. “Shh. I’m not angry.” You kissed the side of your son’s head, inhaling his scent and swaying him lightly from side to side. You cupped a hand on his cheek and lifted his head from your shoulder, admiring Altair up close. It was something you wanted to see ever since he was born — him growing up into someone kind yet adventurous, mischievous yet empathetic — a treasure all the same. Placing your forehead against his, you rubbed the tip of your nose on his. “I love you far beyond I can express to be mad at you. I wished every night to hold you and because of your idea, I got to do it. The worst part is, I didn’t even know it was you who came home until earlier when you looked at my drawing. The last time I saw you, you were raising your adorable hands at me because you always preferred me over your father.”

Levi snorted beside you two.

“He couldn’t sing to calm you down; much less be less awkward with a crying baby.” Altair giggled with you before you kissed him on the forehead and wiping his tears with a handkerchief from your handbag. “You’re grown up now. It feels so surreal seeing you like this.” You then looked around the pool area. “If you’re here, where’s—”

“I’m here, Mum.”

That voice made you look over at the peeking boy on the other side of Levi. His hair was the same as Levi’s and Altair’s, however, his wavy locks were starting to show above his undercut. A small breathy laugh was your reply, beckoning him towards you. You saw Levi rub his shoulders, flashing a knowing smile at you, and making you shake your head. Caelum walked with both hands behind his back, rocking on his heels when he reached you. There were remnants of icing on his upper lip. It made you realize that you miss him after knowing that he was with Levi since he came back from the summer camp. You gently wiped your younger son’s lips with your thumb, cleaning your finger with the handkerchief right after. “There, free of cake icing,” you murmured. The two of you stared at each other with soft smiles. You booped his nose, jokingly narrowing your eyes, “You are in so much trouble, little prince — staying in California all this time.”

“Well,” Caelum prolonged the word with a laugh, finding the glint of happiness in your eyes pretty, “California is all sunshine, Mum, and you know how London sometimes has unpredictable weather even in the summer. I just thought this opportunity is a perfect time to enjoy my favorite season here.”

“Did you have fun with your dad?” You tilted your head with a smile. “I hope you didn’t give him a hard time.”

“He’s perfect, [Name],” Levi answered for Caelum, pulling Altair by his side to give him gentle pats on the back. He looked down on the older twin, affectionately squeezing his son’s cheek. “Are you okay now, Al?” Levi then felt satisfied with Altair’s embarrassed nod, the latter’s cheeks colored with an adorable shade of cherry blossom pink. The silver-eyed man lowly chuckled as he observed Altair acting like he wasn’t crying his heart out to his mother a few minutes prior. It was always cute to watch, something that Levi never voiced out. His gaze left the pouty face of the older twin and sought out your beautiful visage, which was still lovingly trained on Caelum. As if his eyes were a beacon, you met his stare before flashing a breathtaking close-lipped smile. His mouth started talking without thinking about his words, “Caelum is an amazing kid. He’s so great at mingling with the people on the plantation and his words always make me reflect on life for some reason. You did so well in raising him, [Name].”

“Thank you, Levi.” Your heart was pounding with your ex-husband’s praise, your decision of getting back with him pulsating in your mind. Caelum was still waiting for your next words so you turned back to him. Knowing that you never saw him these past few days, you slightly opened your arms. “Come here and give your mum a hug, little prince.”

Caelum’s gray eyes shone like a passing comet, finding home in the feeling of your arms gripping him close to your heart. Two heartbeats resonated through the poolside of the hotel. At the area where Petra and Oluo set up the snacks, Hange was watching the heartwarming moment with tears in their eyes. As much as Oluo never agreed on Hange’s remarks most of the time, he couldn’t help but nod his head with a blow in his handkerchief when the brown-haired person mentioned how happy you looked with your twins and ex-husband. Not knowing what was happening on the sidelines, the younger twin squeezed you more, burying his face on the crook of your neck. Your blossom-infused scent made him smile against your skin, numerous flowers entering Caelum’s senses. Everything about you completed his day. After crying in Levi’s arms to meeting Lucas in the hotel’s lobby, all his sorrow and frustration melted away as each second was spent cuddling into you.

He hugged you like he never wanted to part with you, though, he never cried.

You noticed the intensity of his grip.

Your parents telling you the consequence if you didn’t marry Lucas was the reason why you appreciated meeting your little heaven again. Pulling away gently, you cupped Caelum’s cheek with your palm before kissing his nose, the physical contact making the boy giggle in your arms. You felt Caelum’s hands on your cheeks, tilting your head down to give access to the usual place where he reciprocates your nose kisses.

The softest kiss landed on your forehead. Caelum opened his eyes, his vision focusing on the Sun of his life. “I love you to the Moon and back, Mummy. No matter what happens, I will never leave you. I know we’ll get through this and it will be just the four of us in the end.” There were so many possibilities as to who these four people are. Caelum hoped that you misinterpret it as the usual quartet living under the roof of your house in London. Because if you got the idea that you were being set up by your sons, everything will be back to square one. “You’re not alone in this, Mum. You can lean on us, too. We’re here for you, especially Dad.”

Unshed tears glazed your irises, your heart swelling at the words. “And I love you even farther, our little heaven.” His knowing smile at the addition of Levi in his reassurances compelled you to look over at Levi, whose cheeks were flushed at the mention. “Speaking of your father, why don’t you and Al play by the pool? I think there’s some catching up to do with him that will be worth twelve years.”

Altair grinned, placing himself beside Caelum and wrapping an arm around his younger brother’s shoulders. “Sure, Mom.”

The younger twin chuckled. “Take your time, okay? And don’t be mean to him.” He narrowed his eyes at you in a jest. “He’s already suffering enough from missing you too much — don’t break him.”

Levi’s sharp intake of breath rang from behind the twins. “You know I’m still here, Cae.” Once again, he was ignored.

The two of them glanced at each other before hugging you at the same time, your euphoric laughter mixing with theirs.

“We love you so much, Mommy.”

“Much more than you imagine,” Caelum finished, pulling his twin to the direction of Hange and the others. “Have fun with Dad!”

“Don’t run by the pool, you brats!” Levi shouted with his arms crosses over his chest. The moment the two boys reached the other adults (“See, we’re fine, old man!” Altair yelled back.), he faced you with a thoughtful expression and watching as you straightened yourself. He offered his hand at you, “Shall we?”

Electricity ran through both of your arms when you finally placed your hand on his. The entire scenery gleamed with something you missed ever since you started your relationship with him years ago. It was a foreign yet nostalgic feeling. The expanse of his back and the undercut he sported for years were stirring the swarm of butterflies in your stomach — your talk didn’t even start yet. You let him pull you to one of the reclining pool chairs that were not too far from the others, sitting on one and expectantly looking up at you. You didn’t know where to sit for a few moments but you were ready to take a seat on the pool chair beside his, which will make you two face each other. A fond touch circled your wrist, pulling you to sit beside an amused Levi. His half-smile ignited your face until you looked away from him, the intensity of his stare was becoming too much for your heart. You saw him angle himself to slightly face you yet he never made a move to add more space between the two of you. Following him, you found yourself mesmerized at his half-lidded stare.

“How have you been?” The deep baritone of his voice tingled your heart.

You blinked out of your stupor, breathing a laugh under your breath. His gaze always made you shy so you looked down on your lap, a lock of hair covering half of your face. “I’m doing fine. The bridal boutique is the only thing keeping me busy other than what’s happening in our home, you know, with Hange and Caelum always keeping the house alive.”

Levi carefully tucked your hair behind your ear, his fingers lingering over the side of your face. There was a permanent love-struck small smile on his face that he was unaware of. “I’m happy to hear that. I’m sure your childhood friend slash butler helps you when that happens.”

You peered at him through your eyelashes. “That childhood friend slash butler of mine has a name, you know.”

“Oluo — I’m sure Oluo helps you when that happens.” He rolled his eyes lightheartedly, shaking his head with a laugh right after. “I can’t believe I almost punched him in the face, only because he went out of the main bathroom with only a robe on. Can you even believe I got jealous of him? Even today, I feel ashamed of myself for jumping to conclusions.”

“So, you admit that you were jealous of Oluo that time?” You hummed in amusement, pointing a finger in front of his face. “You denied that so many times no matter how much I tried to make you admit it. You always go,” you deepened your voice and made your face go blank, “‘I’m not jealous, just leave me alone’. I mean, it’s partially my fault. I didn’t tell you beforehand that Oluo became one of our flatmates.”

Levi chuckled. “His face was the funny part to me. He looked so lost and pale like I sucked his soul or he was trying to hold in his shit. It was either of those two.” He shook his head. “Do I look like one of those hooded figures in Harry Potter for him?”

His humor never failed to make you laugh out loud. “Oluo has always been like that ever since we were kids. He nearly peed himself when Mother became angry at some of the help during my eighth birthday.”

He glanced at the said man at the corner of his eyes, with you following his eyes to where Oluo was getting flustered with every interaction he had with Petra. Then, his stare went to the twins. Altair was showing Caelum how to play Pokémon Sword in his Switch, looking over the younger boy’s shoulders to direct him during the gameplay. Levi snorted when Caelum pointed at the screen of the device, calling a Pokémon cute and wanting it, only for Altair to tell him that something cooler is better. Caelum shook his head, ignoring his twin’s protests, and it looked like he chose to catch the Pokémon he wanted because he said it was shining. Without him knowing, you kept gazing at his side profile, watching how his eyes endearingly observed the twins. You looked away from him and your heart melted at the sight of your and Levi’s sons beside each other. You saw how Altair’s expression brightened whenever Caelum looked back at him to ask for help while the younger boy stared at his older brother in amazement.

“What the fuck? That was a Brilliant Pokémon? You caught a Brilliant Pokémon this early?!”

“Is that bad?”

“I had to roam that area for hours to get something with a Brilliant Aura. Are you some kind of magnet? The next time I’m playing, you have to stay beside me. Maybe your good luck might affect me if I play gacha games, too.”

“I’m scared to ask but I’m curious — what are gacha games?”

“Oh, you sweet innocent child.”

“We’re the same age.”

“You poor, poor kid. I’ll teach you everything you need to know about gaming. It’s a calming hobby if I do say so myself.”

“You cursed at your Switch earlier at lunch because you died. You didn’t just curse once, you repeated it so many times that Dad threatened to confiscate your Switch and phone. Even Petra and Captain scolded you, Al. Well, Captain only barked but it counts as a sermon, I guess.”

“… What can I say? It’s a way to relieve anger and stress.”

“… I’m concerned.”

You laughed at the exchange. “I can’t believe our boys are together in one setting. It feels so surreal.”

“Yeah, our boys.”

Your eyes briefly widened before shifting your head to the side, only for your breath to hitch. Levi was already gazing at you with a handsome smile that always entranced you. It felt like it was college all over again, where every single action Levi did, sent your heart spiraling in an abyss. You’re willing to let yourself drown in that silver sea again. This was the first time you ever admitted it after twelve years but him saying ‘our boys’ was making you fall in love with him again. No, the moment you saw him in the hotel’s interior was when you felt so many emotions for him again. But every second was amplifying the feelings you kept hidden in a chest, threatening to overflow. “Our boys,” you breathed, flashing a somber smile. “That sounds like a dream.”

Oluo materialized beside you two to place a tray of drinks on the table by the pool chair. While carefully putting the tall glasses of juice, the butler warily eyed Levi before giving you a warm smile, turning around to go back on babysitting the two kids. You thanked him, reaching out towards the table. Levi’s fingers brushed against yours for a brief moment, causing you to gasp lightly and recoil. God, why are you acting like a teenager coping with your newfound crush? This is your ex-husband and you’re far from being a teenager. Hell, you two have two amazing sons sitting a few feet from you and you’re acting like you didn’t make love to him a thousand times since junior year in university. You berated yourself along those lines, not noticing that Levi took matters into his own hands, handing you your drink. There was a gleam of amusement in his eyes that ignited embarrassment to bubble in your stomach. Bloody hell, that was worthy of a laugh.

“You don’t have to act so tensely around me, beautiful.” Levi’s voice was so close to your ear that it made you jump a little bit. You turned your head swiftly, a mere two inches separating you two. You felt your face heat up at the proximity, witnessing how Levi’s cheeks flushed, his eyes widening. The two of you didn’t pull away. It felt like Eternity was choosing this moment to prolong, letting the two of you get lost in each other’s eyes. “It’s just me, okay? Relax.” You followed his advice and you felt your shoulders loosened their tightness. Without thinking about it, you fixed your stare on his lips. His bottom lip was still fuller and like a person craving for a lover’s touch, you tilted your head.

It doesn’t go unnoticed to Levi. If only you could hear how loud his heartbeat was pounding. It was like a song, with you as his muse that spurred every tempo and beat. The distance was slightly diminishing and both of your breaths stopped when inches became centimeters. He was so intoxicated by your scent that he didn’t care if anyone saw him retreat into someone vulnerable. Only you can make him shed his impassive front. It was always you. Your eyes were starting to close and yet Levi chose the opposite — just to see your face if your lips make contact with one another. But he couldn’t help it. His eyes were closing on their own, with the softness of your lips brushing on his. His free hand rose to cup your cheek.

Until a flash erupted in front of you two, breaking the small bubble Levi created just for the two of you.

“You,” Caelum started, the Switch was forgotten on his lap, “are a bloody idiot, Al.”

Altair gulped at the unamused stares he got from Levi and Caelum, shivering at the uncanny similarity. Since he knew that Caelum brought the camera Erwin gave as a welcoming gift, he took it out of one of the bags. Once he saw the picture-perfect moment unfolding in front of his eyes, he didn’t have a second thought of taking a photo. Only for the flash to interrupt it. He looked at anywhere except those two, meeting your amused smile. “Mom,” he partially whined. “I didn’t know the flash was on.”

You waved him over, your giggles when Altair entered your arms softening Levi’s and Caelum’s glares directed at the older Ackerman twin. Altair snuggled on your side, head resting on your chest with a noticeable pout pulling on his lips. “Let’s take the flash away, okay? Here, hold this drink for me for a second.” Your gentle voice contrasted with the frustrated sigh coming from Levi. You fiddled with the settings before glancing at Levi, who inconspicuously scooted closer to you. “Oh, come on, Levi, don’t look at Al like that.” You patted your ex-husband’s cheek, squeezing his cheek lightly.

Levi’s blank face was directed at you. He blinked slowly for a few moments, slightly tilting his head to narrow his eyes at the boy sneaking a look from your other side. A mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ was what Levi got from Altair. Without anything to bring back the earlier atmosphere, he sighed. A fervent waving caught his attention. Caelum was gesturing at him and then pointing at you. His mouth was saying something wordlessly but Levi couldn’t comprehend it. Altair picked up on it and coughed between the word ‘date’, getting up from the pool chair, but not before kissing you on the cheek swiftly and placing your drink on the side table. He returned to his twin's side, nudging Caelum as a weak attempt to erase the unamused stare on his younger twin. Levi cleared his throat, remembering his son’s words in his suite.

(Altair clapped his hands. “Okay, listen up, everyone! Since all we need is to get evidence that Luke is cheating on Mom, I’m thinking of following him for the entire day tomorrow.”

“Where did this come from?” Levi asked. “And what are you saying following him? Are you doing that alone?”

“Thank you for the questions, Dad, but hear me out first.”

Levi scoffed a laugh.

“Quick warning, all of this is hypothetical and these are just my speculations. Let’s say that Lucas will be gone for the whole day tomorrow to hook up with some random girl around California. My source is seeing him using Google Maps on his phone while waiting for the taxi to take us to this hotel. The second source is seeing him talking to a younger woman in the hotel lobby when Mom is right there. Another thing that fueled my suspicion is the woman whispering something to Luke and him nodding along. Of course, I won’t forget how he took out his phone to exchange numbers!” Altair took a deep breath. “My point is, he’ll be gone the whole day tomorrow. Or the entire morning.”

“That’s such a … an unreachable theory, Al,” Petra voiced out.

“Still a theory.”

Caelum looked up from his pasta. “What do we do then?”

“You,” the older twin pointed at Caelum with a devilish grin, “will be coming with me to find Luke around San Francisco and catch solid evidence of his cheating. Petra, Oluo, and Hange will be coming with the two of us.” The two adults blinked, Altair brushing their reaction off. “Since Hange might say yes to this instantly, I hope you two will be okay with it?” He directed his question at the redhead and brunet.

“Yeah, we’ll watch over you two.” Petra flashed a thumbs-up.

Oluo only nodded with an impressed hum.

Levi sipped on his tea. “What about me?”

“Take Mom out on a date tomorrow.”

The onyx-haired man raised his head too fast that it ignited his headache to dully throb again.

“Make her relive your first date with her in a museum. It’s sort of a distraction to not give the other side of the plan out. Mom might have an idea about us getting evidence if she stays in this hotel without anything to do. And since you also have nothing to do, you ask her on a date, Dad.” Altair crossed his arms over his chest, eyebrow raised teasingly. “You also mentioned getting back with her, right? Isn’t dating the first step in establishing a relationship. It’s like killing two birds with one stone, Dad, so stop looking like I put the entire world on your shoulders. We follow Luke and you rekindle your relationship with Mom! How fun is that!”

“I-I don’t know how to ask her that.”

Caelum smiled. “You did it for your first date, right? You can always do it again, Dad.”)

Levi took a deep breath. “[Name]?”

You hummed as a response, your pretty eyes captivating Levi.

“Are you free tomorrow?”

“Yes,” you answered, heartbeat thudding in your ears.

He never looked away from you, cheeks flaming with heat. “Let me take you out. For old time’s sake.”

A pause rang out after his words, then, a heavenly smile lit up your face. “Of course, Levi.”

Altair presented his hand in front of Caelum, palm up. The younger twin looked away from their parents and looked back and forth between the waiting palm and the smug grin Altair sported. With a shake of his head, lips pulled on a smile, he gave his twin a high-five. The plan is being blessed by both Fate and Time.

taglist:

@loveprisms @halparkebitch @omlbarnes @a--nonymousse @nunufx @misslovingpearl @softsakusas @whalerus @sakuxxi @littleagxs @izzy-rose010 @dora-the-grownup @dren-whalen @tsunderehokage @bokkunto @alwayssleepingforreal @haikyuutothetop

if your username is in italics, i couldn't tag you :<<

#levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x reader #the parent trap au #levi ackerman aot #aot x reader #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan imagines

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bluejohsai · 3 years

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can i please request for late night road trips with not-yet-boyfriend levi ackerman? they're pining for one another and wanted to know each other on a deeper level. so, they went on an impromptu road trip at night and they had deep talks <3 tysm aaaa

ready to love — levi ackerman

— levi ackerman x female reader (modern au)

— warnings: none, just fluff <3

— summary: levi is one of your best friends but before he became one, he admitted to having feelings for you. and now with an impromptu hang-out, you started to realize that he's more than just a friend all these years.

— word count: 6.6k

— author’s notes: i'm so sorry for replying to this request late aaaaa i hope this poorly edited fic will compensate for your wait njwebj i can't help but put the new song of seventeen as the title because i'm obsessed with it since their mini album released. btw, i think i didn't comprehend your request that well so i apologize in advance if it's starting to drift away from the main theme of your request dnwbje happy reading and thank you for requesting !! <333

i can't help but imagine a much taller levi every time i write something set in the modern world lmao and i actually tried a different writing style for his point of view so i hope it works out ksksks

reblogs are greatly appreciated !!

You don’t know where you can place your relationship with Levi Ackerman.

He confessed to you out of the blue while walking you back to your dorm after working on a group project together. To say you were surprised was an understatement because that man has never talked to you outside of your academic requirements. Hell, the first sentence he said to you was about splitting the workload and he looked ready to bury you more than six feet under the ground with his indifferent eyes. When he confessed to you, an unhurried ‘Please hear me out, I have feelings for you for some time now’, you actually didn’t know what to say. You racked your brain for your interactions with him that might give away his supposed feelings for you but it came into a blank. In the end, he managed to continue with a flushed face that he will wait for your answer no matter how long it takes. You had no choice but to nod in understanding. Your voice didn’t come until you went inside your room, with your roommate, Hange, asking what made you look like you saw a ghost.

Can you blame yourself though? You never had someone confess to you before. You always do those things, never the other party. It was mainly the reason why you avoided relationships since you last confessed to a person you liked during high school. That was a nasty experience — them saying you’re not their type hit you closer at home than you anticipated. In short, confessing to someone is a savage thing to do if you don’t want to get hurt while letting go of your feelings.

Levi confessing to you, however, happened in your second year in college.

Oh, how you wanted to go back to those times because being a college senior wasn’t for you at all. You groaned when you noticed that you forgot to buy your daily coffee from the university café. You’re running late for a lecture so you had no choice but to jog a little to avoid being in the spotlight. The fucking door to the lecture hall is in the front of the seats and you don’t want to experience being the center of attention just because you’re late for a couple of minutes. Plus, the professor you have for this class isn’t compassionate and understanding at all.

Thankfully, you arrived seconds before your professor entered the lecture hall. You didn’t even drink your version of a serotonin boost, much less eat a balanced breakfast, so you were already drifting every fifteen minutes of the class. You promised yourself that you’ll be serious for your senior year, not that you weren’t taking your previous years in college seriously, but you needed to focus since it’s your final year before graduate school. More like a New Year’s resolution but make it a resolution for a new academic year that you always narrate in your mind but you failed to always make it happen. But it was starting to be draining listening to your professor drone the theories and applications when you have an empty stomach and zero social battery. The whole time you were sitting in the middle of the seats was spent staring mindlessly at the projected slide and your iPad. Your notes weren’t even that legible anymore.

With a final reminder of your college thesis (you had a small internal meltdown at this), your professor dismissed you after three hours of lecture.

“Hey, [Name],” came a familiar voice behind you.

You turned around and flashed a small smile at the person. Even though you always have a drained social battery when it comes to interacting with your classmates, there are still some exceptions to your little solitary moment, and the person calling for your name is one of them. “Hey, Nanaba,” you greeted the tall blonde and waited for her to reach you so that you can walk together out of the building.

“I saw that you didn’t take down that many notes this class so I wanted to tell you that I’ll be sending my notes in your school mail later,” she told you while hiking her bag on her shoulder. “You look out of it.” Nanaba rose a hand to feel your forehead. “Are you feeling alright, love? Did you stay up late because of your readings again?” She has this habit of calling her friends terms of endearment and it didn’t fail to make your heart warm. “I think you should go back to your apartment to give this day a rest. Self-care is always important and should be put first, you know?”

You chuckled, taking her hand and patting it gently. “I know. But I still have another lecture in about,” you looked at your phone, smiling at the photo of you and Levi after turning it on, “twenty minutes and it’s in the Science Department. I might have a free afternoon so I’ll use that time for sleeping.” You sighed, smiling at Nanaba who was looking at you with a knowing smirk. You rose an eyebrow at her in confusion. “What?”

“For a person who says they’re just friends, you still have that picture as your lock screen,” Nanaba teased, pointing at your phone.

You felt your cheeks go warm, looking away from your friend and fixing your attention on a group of students doing a round of review for an exam in the courtyard. One of them recognized you and rose a hand in a slight wave. Armin Arlert, the first-year who asked you for directions and advice knowing that you two belong in the same department. You returned his wave with a smile before glancing at Nanaba, who was still smiling smugly. “It’s cute,” you murmured under your breath with a jut of your bottom lip. “Plus, he’ll think there’s something wrong if I change it. And for your information, it was Hange who told me that it’s alright to put it as my wallpaper. We’re really just friends.”

“Hmm, now why is that?”

“It’s not what you think! I mean, he’s one of my best friends and I sort of appreciate him by putting this picture as my lock screen.”

Nanaba continued humming with a half-smile. You were so cute when you were flustered and the tall blonde couldn’t help but tease you some more. It was true that Levi’s one of your best friends despite having confessed to you when you were sophomores (Nanaba doesn’t know this fact) but the blonde could tell that something was underlying in your friendship. Friends don’t just casually kiss each other on the corner of the lips whenever they meet after a long day in university. Maybe Nanaba was looking too much into this because today, you can be platonically in love with your friends but the way Levi looked at you every time beholds something more than friendship. If Nanaba could place it in words, Levi is madly in love with you. Well, she doesn’t hang out with your friend group but she can tell when Levi picks you up sometimes.

It’s quite fun being a bystander to all of this so Nanaba patted you on the head as a way to stop her teasing. She will have to gossip about this to Hange later.

“Trust me, you won’t be friends any longer.” The blonde looked up and nearly cackled at a familiar man waiting for you at the nearby bench. “Well, speaking of your little devil, he’s here, [Name].”

“What?” You asked, looking up from your phone. Hange texted you about getting some groceries because they forgot to buy them yesterday. It was quite amusing rooming with Hange for your entire college experience, from the dormitories to renting out a decent apartment. Rather than getting mad at them for their antics, you found them endearing. You looked around with furrowed eyebrows. “Where?”

Nanaba gently guided your head to look at somewhere to the right. “There.”

True enough, Levi was casually sitting on one of the benches, scrolling through something on his phone. It was as if he felt you staring at him so he looked up directly in your direction, pocketing his phone and slinging his backpack over his shoulder right after. There was a familiar large cup in his other hand and it made you crave your coffee again. He never took his eyes off of you as he made his way over, glancing at Nanaba and nodding at her once he reached the two of you.

“Hey, Nanaba,” Levi greeted, tugging on a piece of your hair to get you out of your daze.

Nanaba’s smile made you narrow your eyes. (Levi tugged on your hair again to catch your attention.) “Hello, Levi.” She then perked up, not liking the way Nanaba wiggled her eyebrows at you. “I’m meeting up with Nifa for some late breakfast so I hope to see you guys later. And, [Name],” Nanaba pointedly looked at you, “think about what I said earlier. Rest and do things that can make you feel relaxed. Play your games or read a book, just don’t grind for academics for one second. Levi, keep an eye on her. Bye!” The tall blonde turned around and bounded off to the opposite direction of where Nifa’s department building is.

You didn’t notice Levi squinting at how you stared incredulously at a retreating Nanaba. The whole time he made his presence known, you didn’t give him the greeting you always exchange together. You heard a faint, “Hey,” near your ear. It made you turn to Levi, only for your voice to disappear when he leaned in to give you the usual kiss on the corner of your lips. The contact lingered for a couple of seconds so you returned it as soft as you can. However, Levi slightly turned his head to meet your pretty eyes, with your kiss landed at the center of his lips instead. The two of you stare wide-eyed at each other, not comprehending what transpired at the moment. As much as it ensued both of your heartbeats to pound in a song, Levi made sure to capture you with his stare. Your face started to become warm when you saw his face being painted with rouge as you pulled away.

Levi lightly licked his bottom lip. “You taste like watermelon.”

If the world stopped when you accidentally brushed your lips against his, his words just made an uncontrollable torpedo of butterflies flutter the insides of your stomach and chest. You hitched your backpack on your shoulders and walked away from him with fast footsteps. Nanaba was right, you two weren’t ‘just friends’ at all. There was something behind every gesture that made your body tingle with emotions that weren’t supposed felt for a close friend. You tried so hard to bottle everything up, resorting to thinking about Levi deep into the night whenever you have some backlogs to finish. After his confession during your sophomore year, you saw him in a completely different light. This man who was just a passing face in your day became one of the many people you look forward to talking to. Once he started being your friend, Levi made you feel loved and special through his little actions that sometimes, you wish it didn’t give you butterflies every damn time. You even wonder if Levi forgot about his feelings for you as the years go by.

What they said was true — that you’ll slowly notice the person who expressed their feelings for you.

You heard footsteps following close by but you didn’t have any strength to stop and turn around, fearing that looking at Levi right now could make your brain malfunction. A gentle hold on your wrist held you back, slightly turning you around, and yet you could only fix your stare on the pavement.

“Don’t be sorry, okay? It’s my fault. A-And it’s not like I don’t like it.”

You looked at him through your eyelashes, feeling his thumb rub the inside of your wrist. He was wistfully looking down where his hand was wrapping around your wrist before meeting your eyes, the eye contact spanning more than eternity. Once again, your face felt warm. “I don’t mind it either,” you whispered.

“G-Good to know.” He let go of your wrist to scratch his undercut. “Uhm, here’s my drink. I have an inkling that you didn’t get to order your coffee earlier so here you go.” Levi handed you his tall cup of hot tea, slightly raising his eyebrow when you only stared at it. “What? You don’t want it? There’s still caffeine in here, you know?”

“Are you sure?” You slowly asked him because you know how Levi cherishes his daily tea from the university café. One time, Hange reached out for a sip and Levi smacked their hand so hard that you had to apply ice on her hand. Levi apologized for that only because you made him feel guilty about it. After that incident, you, Hange, and Erwin always made sure to buy your own drinks when you have your hang-outs. “I don’t want to have a repeat of what you did to Hange.”

His shoulders shake in a silent laugh. “No, I will never hurt you. Four-eyes had it coming anyway because they didn’t ask for my permission but I’m genuinely offering this to you so it’s kind of different.” Levi fiddled with a lock of your hair and you felt your cheeks becoming warm again. “Are you just going to stare at me like I’m your worst nightmare or are you going to take it?”

You shook your head. “No, you’re not my worst nightmare and I’ll be accepting this because you so graciously offered it to me.” With a soft smile, you took the cup of tea from his hand and took a sip. At the taste of the sweet drink, you hummed in contentment. Nothing beats a good, sweet, and warm drink to fill up your serotonin levels every morning. You detect a slight scent of strawberries and a small amount of milk in the tea, wondering when Levi started asking for add-ons in his drinks. You always remembered his favored drink since you were sometimes tasked with telling the counter your orders and it was always black tea with nothing at all. You narrowed your eyes at him from over the rim of the cup, detecting the delighted shine in his gray eyes. “You don’t put anything in your tea. Especially sweeteners and milk.”

Levi shrugged with a small smile, ruffling your hair before wrapping his arm around your shoulders to steer you to your next class. “I wanted to have something for a change.” He glanced at you from the side of his eyes. “From the way you’re drinking it, I think it’s a good idea to change my order for the day. You need it more than me anyway. I can manage a day without some tea from the uni’s café. I make better tea than them, to be honest.”

You laughed at his last statement, slightly leaning on him. You felt his hand transfer from your shoulder to your waist.

“Is this alright?” Levi whispered in your ear.

“Yeah,” you hummed, praying that Levi wouldn’t hear your heart racing in your chest.

You seriously don’t know when you started falling in love with him but the present is all that matters.

Levi knew exactly when he started falling in love with her.

It was a coincidence that his schedule matched up with her but it wasn’t a coincidence that she caught his attention while walking out of a class with Erwin during freshman year. His tall friend was telling him about a new book that was coming out. All Levi could remember from his gushing was how the book had unknown creatures in them that made the blonde excited enough to buy it. Something was occupying Levi’s mind that muddled his memory of what Erwin was talking about. Actually, it wasn’t something. A girl walked out of the building they were walking along by and Levi felt his curiosity piqued, Erwin’s words becoming static as his gray stare never left her. She wasn’t even wearing flashy clothes but the moment she turned her head in their direction as if she was looking for something, Levi’s heart stuttered in his chest.

She’s so fucking beautiful to him — like the shooting star he found mesmerizing while he was stargazing with his mother when he was twelve. The whole minute was spent just looking at her, seeing how she shifted her attention to the other side of the courtyard before bringing her pretty eyes to him again. He saw how her eyebrows slightly furrowed at his gawking, irises glinting with suspicion. Levi didn’t realize he stopped walking when Erwin jogged back to him, checking to see what made his friend stop. Levi didn’t even register that Erwin was beside him once again as he watched her wave at a tall brown-haired person.

“Hey, Erwin, who is that?”

Erwin followed his gaze to the pair walking away, looking back at Levi who was still looking at the girl. He chuckled before patting his friend on the shoulder. “That’s [Name] if I can recall correctly. She’s also in my Statistics class. She’s pretty much a quiet person most of the time but when you try to approach her kindly, she’ll warm up eventually. The person with them is Hange, her roommate, I think. Why do you ask?”

“Nothing.”

It was not nothing, of course, because Levi found himself looking all over the campus for just a glimpse of the girl. She was very much like a passing wisp every time Levi walked down the hallways of the different buildings of their university. For a huge campus, there was no chance of seeing the girl again and Levi was left with the remnants of her in his memory. No matter how much he convinced himself that it was an attraction that he felt when he first saw her, Levi would always crane his head over the crowds, wishing that he could float on a cloud to overlook everyone else. All to search her. And finding her was like a stroke of luck because Erwin showed him an Instagram account with pictures of her. Levi followed the account without any second thought. That only added to his never-ending curiosity and interest for the girl named [Name], making his chest blossom with red carnations and yellow tulips.

Levi was perfectly content with admiring her from afar. Their paths sometimes intertwined with each other whenever there were events around the campus. She was always with that tall, talkative brown-haired person that Levi was starting to think that maybe she already gave her heart to another. But that didn’t stop him from glancing at her if they were in the same vicinity. Levi couldn’t fathom how a person could be that pretty without even trying – mesmerized at every action she did no matter how small it is. Everything paled in comparison whenever she’s around.

He always knew that he was the kind of person who never delved deeper into strange connections with others, relying on interactions to further deepen the bond they already established. This is the case with every person Levi encountered in his life. His hometown friends, Isabel and Farlan, and even Erwin were prime examples. Nobody could ever break down his well-crafted walls with just a single word. It wasn’t that [Name] was an exception (she still didn’t earn his permission to enter his life simply because they never talked once) but Levi will readily shed his guard little by little upon knowing what kind of person she is. Too bad Levi was too shy to approach her. The rest of his first year in university was spent complying with the requirements of his courses and thinking so hard on his newly-accumulated feelings for a girl he doesn’t know anything about (except for the little posts her roommate writes on Twitter, tagging her in some of them). He decided that if everything was unrequited, he will do himself the favor to confess to her and let the feelings go because it wouldn’t benefit him in the end.

Everything came into place when he was in sophomore year.

Every shred of his plan of burying his feelings for the girl vanished like a wisp he saw on the night sky.

“Please hear me out, I have feelings for you for some time now.”

Levi knew that was a wrong move. If this was a chess game, he was already risking his king of being placed in checkmate. He had no control over his mouth when it came to her and he hated himself for that. It might be the comfortable atmosphere they established or it could be that Levi found her beautiful under the stars, but he knew that his feelings were overflowing to the point that he couldn’t hold it in anymore. Her shocked face was piercing, hurting him in the best way possible because she still looked pretty. The disbelief painted on her face was enough for Levi to realize how stupid he was at blurting out his feelings.

But fate thought it would be funny to make them closer as friends after that incident.

The late-night musings immediately stopped when the next song played in Levi’s earphones. He was doing revisions in one of his courses, his desk piled up with readings and highlighters that were still aligned beside the papers. He ran his hand through his hair, making it flop on his forehead. The weight of being a senior was getting to him as he let himself fall back on his desk chair. The little glow-in-the-dark star stickers [Name] placed on his ceiling greeted his vision. She was cute while reaching up on the small ladder Levi placed in the middle of the room. Levi remembered how she slipped and how she snuggly fit in his arms in a desperate attempt to catch her. He shook his head to quell his fast heartbeat, every single thought revolving around the young woman rendering him breathless. The moment his stomach growled, Levi straightened himself in his seat and took a deep breath.

His phone was then in his hands, his fingers typing out a message without second thoughts.

Hey, I’ll be picking you up in ten.

With a pounding heartbeat, Levi put on one of his jackets before taking his car keys. Locking his apartment, he went out and drove to her shared apartment with Hange. The moment he parked his car, he went out and leaned himself on the door to the passenger seat. Levi was preoccupied with reading some of the tweets in his timeline when he heard the sliding doors to the apartment complex open to a very concerned [Name]. She ran towards him and patted his tense figure before turning his head from one side to another as if searching for any injuries. Her sigh of relief followed as she placed her hands on his chest.

“I thought something went wrong.” Her dazzling eyes looked up at him, narrowed yet captivating at the same time. “You rarely text something that cryptic, Levi.”

Levi said nothing, his silver eyes roaming on her figure. With a hum, he cupped her face with a gentle hand and wrapped his other arm around her waist, pulling her flush against his front. He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss on the corner of her lips, hearing her breath hitch. His heart accelerated once again at the thought of kissing her fully on the mouth. If he could just tilt his head a little bit more to the right, he would’ve done that. He couldn’t forget the taste of her watermelon chapstick earlier, how intoxicating it was that it distracted him from all of his lectures. Not to mention that the hoodie she was wearing was one of his. The physical contact lingered for a few moments until they stared at each other, Levi’s thumb rubbing on the apple of her cheek. The warmth on their faces could be picked up at their proximity. Levi wished he could stop time right here but he remembered how hungry he was.

Pulling his face away from her mesmerized one, Levi caressed the small of her back. “I’m hungry.”

[Name]’s love-struck face turned into a reprimanding one. “You didn’t eat dinner again, did you?”

He shrugged. “Sue me.”

The woman in his arms sighed before turning around to gesture him to follow her. “Come in the apartment. I know Hange won’t mind if I cook for you at this hour. They’ll probably even rejoice you’ll grace them with your presence at this late evening.” She felt his grip around her tighten. “Levi?”

“Let’s drive around town.” Levi prayed that she wouldn’t see how his cheeks became red. “I want to spend this night with you. Alone.”

It looked like [Name] wasn’t breathing as she stared at her close friend. “Oh.” The locks of her hair fluttered from the wind as she looked at the side to hide her warming face. This man will be the death of her someday. It wasn’t fair that he was constantly running his mouth to say things that can make her heart stutter in her chest. “Uhm, sure, but I’m actually dressed for bed right now. I hope that’s okay with you?”

“You’re perfect either way.” Levi tugged at the hem of the hoodie [Name] was wearing with a half-smile. “I’d rather stare at how you look good with my clothes on.” When he continued tugging, he caught a glimpse of a very familiar shirt below the thick material of the hoodie. “And is this my old jersey from the volleyball team? You still kept it? It’s so worn out, you know.”

“It’s comfortable,” she smiled, fiddling with the ends of his hoodie. A laugh laced with playful disbelief bubbled in her chest. “I still couldn’t imagine you playing volleyball during freshman year,” she stated as Levi pulled her to the vehicle. Once the two of them settled in the warm confines of Levi’s car, [Name] turned to him with a grin. “I swear, I didn’t even know that fact until last year when Erwin randomly said it.”

“It’s not that important, to be honest. I was roped in because somebody practically shoved the application form in my hands while Erwin and I were walking around the welcoming booths at the start of freshman year. It was a chaotic mess and I couldn’t return it because the person got swallowed by the crowd. I didn’t know what came over me to join. All I know is that I can’t juggle academics and sports at the same time so I quit in sophomore year. I couldn’t get used to it, I guess.” Levi steered the car to the nearest McDonald’s, his hand comfortably placed on [Name]’s bare thigh (she was wearing shorts, a fact that always distracted Levi), rubbing on her skin until he felt warm in his side of the car. “What about you, any secret clubs you forgot to mention to me?”

[Name] hummed before Levi felt her fingers tracing the back of his hand. He mindlessly turned his hand palm up for their fingers to entwine, gaze focused on the road. “I once joined the softball team.”

“What?” Levi glanced at her for a second. “Really? When was that?”

“Same as you. At the start of freshman year. I quit before that academic year ended because I thought being on a sports team would take too much of my time. Hange was probably the one who convinced me to join the university team. They said that I should also focus on my physical fitness because I was acting like a slug most of the time in our dorm.” She chuckled at the memory, wistfully staring at the blinking cityscape as they passed by some of the establishments in their side of the town. “They even pinpointed my many mannerisms just to rile me up and eventually I joined.” Levi glanced at her once again, the sight of her measuring their hands together making him smile a little. “I had no idea how the sport works. The senior in the team was kind enough to teach me the basics but it wasn’t for me at all.”

“I understand,” Levi replied, turning the car to the right until they saw the sign of the fast-food restaurant ahead of them. “Peer pressure sucks. Especially if that friend is Four-eyes. I hate it when they put me in the hot seat sometimes.”

[Name] laughed. “That’s Hange for you. They mean well though.”

“For you, I guess. For me, I’m starting to think they’re trying to embarrass me.” He squeezed her hand to catch her attention. “Hey, should we order in the drive-thru?”

“Works for me.”

Levi nodded and drove towards the drive-thru of the building. Once their order was packed in paper bags, he handed them to [Name], who happily gasped when she saw that he ordered the strawberry shake she always bought. When everything is in place, Levi focused on the road again until he felt something poke his lips. He looked down on a piece of French fry being handed to him by a bright-eyed [Name]. He lowly laughed before opened his mouth to let her feed him the fries. His hunger made the food even more delectable, making him hum in satisfaction, with his last meal being lunch which was hours ago. “Where do you want to stop, beautiful?” The terms of endearment flew out of his mouth without him controlling it, never noticing how [Name] froze in the passenger seat with warm cheeks. “It’s going to be hard eating all of this in the car.”

“Anywhere you like, ‘Vi,” she murmured, trying so hard to brush away the nickname.

“Mm-hmm. How about going to that hill overlooking the university? We can stargaze as well.” Levi sheepishly gazed at her. “That is if you think it’s not too far.”

“Never.” She shook her head, an endearing smile painted on her face. “We have the night to ourselves, might as well go for it.”

Levi fell in love with her all over again.

The stars were brighter than usual as you gazed up at the canopy of constellations, the midnight hue of the sky is reflected in your eyes. The weather was in your side, with the night breeze occasionally ruffling your hair, with you wondering who was thinking of you at the moment for the wind to gently thread its fingers through your hair. Levi retracted the roof of his convertible to let the moment play out, the low tune on the radio filling in the background as you two munched on your food (for Levi, his dinner, while for you, a late-night snack). At times, you didn’t notice how his silver eyes flickered at your side profile. For him, the night sky and you are the perfect combinations for a distraction in the dreaded senior year of university. Everything you do is spell-binding for him, even if you were taking a bite of your chicken sandwich and slurping it down with your strawberry shake. As if sensing the stare, you looked back at him, raising your eyebrows cutely to wordlessly ask what was wrong.

Levi shook his head, his hand pinching your cheek. “Nothing.” He continued staring at you with the softest gaze, his smile reaching the corners of his eyes. “You just look so pretty, that’s all.”

“Don’t make my ego inflate even more, Levi,” you joked. “I look like a hobo. You look, well,” you shifted your attention on the windshield to avoid his inquiring eyes, “you look amazing for someone who is studying for more than three hours. Good for you.”

“I try.” The onyx-haired man shrugged lightheartedly. “But you’re the pretty one in this relationship, and that’s a fact.” He punctuated his statement with a bite of his burger, careful enough to not let the lettuce slide down his hand. “Hey, can I take a picture? I know I’m not good at taking pictures but I need a new post. Hange was pestering me to keep my account alive.”

“They’re right,” you nodded, popping a fry in your mouth. “Your last post was three months ago.” Wiping your hand on the napkin found in the paper bag, you shifted in the passenger seat so that your back was facing the door. “So, what do you want me to do?”

“Just sit still and look pretty.”

You laughed. “How do I do that?”

“I don’t know, you always do it. You’re just unaware.”

The heat on your cheeks was traveling towards your ears now, the butterflies continued fluttering inside your stomach and chest. You thought of how Levi continued to be your friend after spilling out his feelings to you and how he always made you laugh at the most random times of the day with his dry humor — the loving smile directed at the person behind the camera appearing instantly on your face. You didn’t know how many pictures Levi took but at that shot, he slowly lowered his phone with a star-struck expression stuck on his face. You also didn’t know what made him look like that but you couldn’t help but be captured in his gaze as well. The two of you looked at each other until Levi cleared his throat before opening his phone to tweak the filter of the pictures. However, the spell wasn’t broken because you sat near him, placing your chin on his shoulder as you watched him make the shots even more aesthetic. After a few moments, your phone dinged with the tag from him and you straightened on your seat, already missing Levi’s warmth.

“There,” Levi murmured with red cheeks. “Hange and Erwin should be happy by tomorrow when they see this.”

You smile at the comfortable silence, letting the radio play a random song. It was then that a thought came into your mind that you couldn’t stay quiet.

“Levi, when did you fall in love with me?”

You always ached to ask that question because you couldn’t draw something from your freshman year until sophomore year. You couldn’t believe how such an amazing person managed to stumble in your life. It was true that you don’t remember meeting his eyes while you just got out of your classes in search of Hange but you remembered how he always stared at you whenever you talked. He always made sure you were heard. But the times before that, you were beyond confused that he would randomly tell you that he liked you for a while. You wanted to ask him that question ever since his confession became reality two years ago and you wanted to know if he still feels the same way. You have to make sure because what you’re feeling for him at the moment wasn’t meant for friends. How could you even tell him that, to begin with?

“Which time are you asking?” Levi softly asked, never looking away from the beauty that is you.

“What?” Your confusion is apparent in the air but Levi only answered with a chuckle. “Hey, I’m serious. You know, I never had someone confess to me until you. It was always me who was doing the confessing. I stopped doing that in the last year of high school because I sounded dumb with my reasoning. Even though I know I don’t have a chance with him and that I wasn’t his type at all, I still said it. We were sort of mutual friends and I kind of ruined it. I was thankful when I found out he was going to another university.” You laughed humorlessly. “Every single time, it was always unrequited and I was sick of it to the point that I told myself to never engage in those feelings when college starts.”

“That guy’s an asshole,” Levi snorted. “When I started crushing on you, I was perfectly fine with being a distant admirer. Have you seen yourself?”

You looked anywhere except for the man beside you. “No?”

He softly flicked your forehead. “Idiot. What I’m trying to say is, those people you’ve been confessing to, they don’t know how lucky they are to hear you say those words. I’m not saying that I should be hearing those words from you right now but to have someone this amazing and talented and beautiful falling in love with them, they pretty much have the entire world the moment you said you liked them. I might be looking at everything in rose-colored glasses but everything you do, [Name], is absolutely mesmerizing to me.” He placed the large cup of soda in the cupholder before holding your face in his hands. “They don’t appreciate that a piece of art was doing the admiring when you should be the one being admired. I would give the world to hear you say you love me back, beautiful, but I’m willing to wait years for you to feel the same way as me.”

Your vision became misty, throat clogging with emotions, and bottom lip being bitten to prevent a small sob. “So when?” You asked again with a shaky voice.

“I fall in love with you so many times, [Name]. Every time we’re in the same frame for a picture. Every time you smiled at me, God your smile is just perfect. Every fucking time you call my name, no matter what kind of shit you’re pulling.” Your laugh rang through the night, making Levi smile. “I fall in love with you every time you’re near me, when you touch me with your soft fingertips, when I feel your hugs give me the comfort I needed. The power you have over me is something that I have no control over because you are just perfect to me.” He squished your cheeks softly when he saw you open your mouth to retaliate. “And before you tell me that you’re not perfect, screw that thought because you are in my eyes. Plus, your heart is so fucking big for welcoming me as your friend despite having feelings for you.

“Fuck, I still do.”

The butterflies once again came to life with his words, your breath heavy and years clinging on your eyelashes. “When’s the most recent time you fell in love with me then?”

Levi neared his face to yours, your foreheads pressed against each other. His lips were just centimeters away when he murmured, “Right now.”

“Me, too,” you whispered, your lips brushing on his. “I fell in love with you again at this moment, Levi, and I’m ready for you to make me breathless every single day.”

Levi’s eyes widened at your words. He was so drunk in you that he didn’t know he was making a face many people wouldn’t associate with him. “When?” He threw your question right back at you because he couldn’t believe what he was hearing right now.

“Ever since you started telling me to stop drinking too much coffee or when you started making me some of your tea recipes. Like you, it just started a loop with every little thing you do for me. I just accepted it when Nanaba talked to me earlier this day. I’m sorry I took so long to give you an answer, Levi.”

“No, it’s perfect. My wait is worth it.”

The stars swooned when your lips finally met his. Because when a person was ready to love someone, nothing can come between them. They will feel as if they reached the highest point in their lives as if they were blessed by the gods for finding their other half. Nothing can stop them, not even the cosmos shining down at the birth of the blissful lovers.

#aot x reader #levi aot #levi attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #levi ackerman x reader

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